#got 1/4 of it done already
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I'm so excited about this project I am voluntarily working on it late into the night
#the only deadline I have so far is to collect data by friday#at this rate i'll be done by the end of the week#and I have until the end of july to submit the full first draft#got 1/4 of it done already#buuut if i do get it done super quickly it means I wont need to do it in lesson times so i wont have to go to some!
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Insert *surprised pikachu face* #1
He miss you Optimus
Scene from S1 E1 of Transformers: RID
SITL MASTERPOST | COMMISSIONS
#have a good day#my drawings#ey guess which ones where Timelapse screenshots and which ones were weren’t#guys he understands optimus’ mysterious appearance#he’s like ‘hell yeah new secret mission from dead Optimus lets goooo’#I have like….4 or 5 more parts for episode 1. mainly cause its the first episode#but once episode 1 is done it’ll just be an assortment#I actually got a bonus scene idea from this#with a lil Smokey Sideswipe race going on#due to that one line of ‘he may be exciting but hes harmless’#hmmm why you mean by that…#alright#FOR THE NEXT UPDATE your either going to see another episode 1 scene OR a bonus scene#because i have both sketched out already. and i might need a breather from the first episode#alright BUH BYE#smokescreen#tf smokescreen#transformers smokescreen#strongarm#rid strongarm
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can someone tell me how to keep going if your hardwork does pay off but you don't feel anything when you achieve your goal just relief and numb again
#ive been having a bad week again since the exam ugh😭#im really really REALLY trying to study but a little head in my voice keeps saying what is even the point of working so hard#which is soooo ridiculous because it's bc i worked so hard that i got great marks#but like. i didn't feel happy like i thought would. i just felt like 'oh. okay. cool'#and then i just. didn't even have anyone around me to celebrate with#which is idk kinda dumb i guess it's just an online exam#but like see. there are technically total 8 exams to become. um to get my degree#and i just cleared 1 of them#like that was a full 100 marks paper i studied for of that level and i did it#ive just never done this before not since this course ive always scored JUST above passing (not counting the times#i literally failed twice lol)#so yeah anyway it is big for me. but why doesn't it feel like anything 😭😭😭#and why hasn't this motivated me to work harder😭😭😭#idk i thought i had gotten over the 'just do it. just do it!!! just. do. it.' phase i was getting so many things done#but it feels back to square one now#man that book about habits was so right don't have goals have habits because when you do achieve your goal#you'll be like well now what? and slip right back into bad habits again#that's exactly what happened#i used to think lol achieve my goal that's never gonna happen im a shit person and a failure#but like what the hell!!! i did!!! so now what😭😭😭#i think i need a hug#but ive never really hugged anyone except one person and she's 4 years away now#i think i need. my dad to tell me he's proud of me. but he's already forgotten about it so that's not gonna happen#man the day i stop craving external validation. it's over for yall#ugh yuck i used to hate the word validation it always sounded so desperate and needy and pathetic. guess it was just#another form of self loathing lol#im not even sad im like genuinely asking. im trying to solve it like a math problem. like does anyone have the answer
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....tondo date.......
filipino spotted again 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵
i actually had to ask my friends abt this. SORRY I FAILED YOU FILIPINO ANON 💔 not #updated, but anyways now that i got to ask about it i think it would be enjoyable to go with him
ugbo 🫵🫵🫵🫵 bringing him there to spoil him.
this is weird but i want to watch mark eat, like i want to see him go crazy over a mango peach pie LMFOAKSOSA. he's pretty tall and all the muscle on him genuinely gives him an appetite.
or napaka galante niya (very generous) so he wants to give into all your whims. you want this, ok you can have it. whatever you say gorgeous.
#ask tag#who ; mark#sorry anon this is kinda short#fake filipino pala ako#i honestly got hungry looking at ugbo posts on tiktok#mark would feast and consume and devour#he eats so fast that he's already done while you're still 1/4 into whatever your eating#sometimes he sneaks bites icl#you get mad but hes the cutest ever so its whatever yk
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Love being the one who has to be responsible for all the organization bs in a group work </3
#morningtalks#Ask someone to be in a group. We can't find a third. Mail the prof and see if my groupmate has ideas. Finally get an answer from the prof.#Have to contact those two people too because my groupmate won't and the other two also don't#I'll also get to be the one making the groupchat and the shared document and probably having a bit of a Control Freak momence to be sure#Everything is done on time (I swear to god if my current groupmate/friend(?) doesn't do her work I will have a fucking freakout)#(she should. Normally she's pretty good at Doing Her Work. But silly old me with my sleep deprivation anxiety and Problems#Gets to be the one managing everything)#I just got my diagnosis back for the autism tests I ran (it's autism and trauma. Don't have ADHD according to them)#(don't fully trust it but trauma does have massive effects on attention and shit so maybe?)#I have been running on 4 hours of sleep and did like three detours even by the time I got to receive my results#And thus I sent a message to that friend of mine asking if 1. She had seen the mail and 2. She would contact our two groupmates#She said I could send that mail myself if I wanted to (I didn't)#Anyways. That mail looks like this but one of the two new groupmates has already answered and I'm very thankful for that#Now let's hope the other one also does on a timely manner or I'll blow up
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I'm going to defenestrate myself
#I can't do this. I can't fucking do this. I'm going to crash and burn like I did friday. I'm fucked.#I don't even care if this is catastrophizing or whatever but I am so stressed and overwhelmed that I can't breathe and I'm kind of dizzy#usually I can blame this kind of anxiety on the weed but I am completely sober! lmao!#I still need to shower and get at least 4 documents done before tomorrow. god.#I'd been planning to have alex over to study for midterms but she got scheduled to work every night this week and had to cancel#I know everyone around me is telling me I can do this and that they believe in me. I can't. I'm going to disappoint everyone#the way I am already disappointed in myself#the worst part of having done well in term 1 is that now everyone thinks I'm smart and competent and has expectations for my performance#I'm just a fucking high school dropout that should have been held back at least one grade. I'm not who everyone thinks I am now and they're#going to figure out any day now that I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not as smart as they think I am#it hasnt even been a full year and I had to drop 2 courses that I need to graduate already#I don't want to graduate late again
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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i’m currently in the process of trying on all my clothes so i can get rid of some and out of the 30 hoodies/sweatshirts that i have and tried on i got rid of 1 lol
#i’ve already donated 4 bags of clothes and have 1 bag of stuff to sell#but like i don’t understand how i’ve got rid of so much and still have no space in my wardrobe and drawers#and everytime i think i’ve done all of one section i’ll open a drawer and find a bunch of random clothes that aren’t where they’re meant to#this is such a long process#i also did two loads of washing and changed my sheets today#tried on all my tops and cleared through them and got rid of 6 jackets#there’s another two jackets i could get rid off but i’m so attached to my jackets 😭😭
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Drea full rundown of how's work
Now that I’ve been here almost 2 weeks, I’ve started getting the hang of it!! I get rotated around different clinics and some of them are way more busy than others (like the one I was at today was super slow, we got like 13 ppl in total the whole day, while the one I was at yesterday we saw 70 people and it was hectic asf 😭)
But tbh they aren’t paying me enough for what they make me do 💀 like I thought it was just a receptionist job where I talk about the plans and packages the clinic sells but tell me why they have me doing metrics and cleaning the entire fucking clinic on my own 🫥 i essentially run everything while the doctor just chills in the back room and only comes out to adjust people
So aside from making sure every patient has updated paperwork, having to do metrics reports, payment plans, making all the calls every day, and scanning all the shit into the system, I’m also sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, and disinfecting the whole clinic. And they only have one front desk person at any given clinic at a time so I have to jump back and forth between essentially being a maid and a receptionist 💀 like I’ll be cleaning and someone comes in so I have to stop and run to the front to get them checked in and then wait for them to leave to keep cleaning 😭 all of this…for $13 an hour. CAN U BELIEVE!!!!!
But it’s so difficult to find a job rn so I don’t really have a choice 🔪
#and obviously people are morons and take out their anger on me bc they don’t have the balls to be mean to the doctors#like tell me why a grown ass 55 year old man yesterday threw a fit at me bc he had to update his paperwork bc he hadn’t been in for 2 years#like are you fucking stupid or are you fucking stupid#and he didn’t even fill it out completely he got like 1/4 of the way through before he shoved the iPad back at me and said#‘I’ve already done this I’m not doing it all over again’ bitch it’s for hipaa it’s the LAW#the doctor knew him tho so he came out and was like ‘just give him the paper copies have him do all the signatures#and then write ‘no changes’ at the top of the document’ just so the guy would stop bitching#I was about to deck him
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It always seems a bit unbalanced on The Great Food Truck Race when there will be multiple teams who are cooking a wide variety of complex dishes with 10 different components and a bunch of prep work, and then there's that one team who like... exclusively serves plain crepes with some premade nutella on them, or plain waffles with just some whipped cream and cut up strawberries lol...
#AND then they'll be the winning team or whatever and its like... wow... imagine that... I wonder how its possible that they can get#more dishes out faster than the other teams... hrrmm.... lol#Not that they aren't still doing work like. obviously it's still hard and there's still a sales component and other stuff to be done#but It's just kind of unbalanced seeming when one group is serving like grilled shrimp sandwich with 3 homemade sauces and a#slaw and two sides and the other people are like... slicing fruit and drizzling a bottle of hersheys chocolate syrup on top of some thing#they just threw in a waffle maker for a few minutes#You see the footage of the teams cooking and everyone is like prepping a ton of different things and meat and vegetables and they have#boiling pots and pans and fryers going and tossing stuff in bowls and compiling these multi component dishes#and then That One Team is always just casually slicing bananas or doing some whipped cream in a bowl gbjhbhj#They usually dont even make their own caramel or chocolate sauces or anything. Nutella out of a jar babey!#So all you're really Making is like... whipped cream. and some sort of batter (waffle. crepe. etc)#If I got placed in a competition like that and I found out one of my opponents just sold waffles or pancake sticks or etc#like that I would just be like... okay.. I'm out then. bye. OR I would pivot and be like.. right I shall remove all complexity from my menu#whatsoever and just start selling plain balls of fried dough with powdered sugar or plain fries with nothing on them or something lol#update: OH my god.. one of these teams on a newer season is selling a 'bonus add on' where you can add#cinnamon sugar and caramel syrup (possibly not even home made by them???? just from a bottle) for $5 extra on your order#If I bought a $12 waffle from a food truck and they were like 'hey do you want to upgrade? for only $5 we'll drizzle a teaspoon#of caramel and sprinkle a little sugar and cinnamon on there!' I feel like I would cancel my order and walk away.#that is a $1 add on at MOST.. for a freaking DRIZZLE of caramel sauce LOL#and of course this team is in the top 3... squirrel.... come ON...#Which I know all these shows are fake and bad and whatever. I dont watch them seriously. I think I liked the first few seasons#but then anything past like season 4 (or whenever they started having established people who already ran food trucks on there#instead of taking a bunch of peope who had never run a food truck before and giving them one - which is a much more equal footing#premise to me) I have just been increasingly annoyed at and I really just have the show on for background noise#whilst doing chores or something and am not genuinely paying that much attention but... my god.. At least try to pretend its fair lol#WHICH I KNOWW... you can say 'well the other teams could do similar if they wanted.' or blah blah. tehcnically it's THEIR choice to#make stuff from scratch and not sell a bunch of packaged frozen chicken wings dropped into a fryer over a shitty 6min waffle or etc.#but... I will never respect a $5 for 1tbsp of caramel sauce type of situation.. even if they win.. you will always be losers in my heart#So many teams with real cooking skill & good concepts go home to the 'slap nutella on fried dough' people... how...
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#part of the reason i hate ai is bc it directly relates to my job / field#and bc ppl think it’s so easy to just ask ai to do it when 1) it’s the lowest quality possible 2) it’s something i took 4 years studying to#learn to do and 3) it’ll never be as good as actually doing the whole production to get the quality end result#and then there’s idiots like the client i got today that i KNOW also studied what i did and STILL use ai#and for their own company too like?????#you’re telling me you know how to do it and the hard part is already done and you can’t manage to finish it properly and just use ai#to make MY JOB harder bc you can’t take half a day to make the quality thing??????#i wanna quit so bad i’m so done with this bs
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I passed the 2 scariest exams life is beautiful everything is good
#omg will i actually finally be done on monday???#crazyy for a second there i was so sure i would have to go to recus#(how tf do you say recus in english lmao anyone help me out)#anyways the exam i did today i needed a 0 so yayy lol idec about what i get but i might get like a 6 or 7?#idk i learned all of it during the exam so maybe its all wrong lmaoo#but i dont care bc i literally didn't need anything#monday we got the grades of the scariest exam ive ever done i needed a 5.7 to pass the subject#and i got exactly a 5.7🙏🙏you can imagine how worried i was lmao#(not enough to study properly apparently💀💀)#and then the hardest subject we did an exam tuesday and i onle needed a 2.1 but i was still kinda worried since last year#only 1 person got over a 4 in the final lmao but yeah weve gotten the grades already and got a 3.3 so yaay life is beautiful#i look forward to spending sant joan happily🤩🤩#mine
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YES I FOUND ANOTHER EMMA SHIRT!!
#i was SOOOO mad when the one i originally found got lost in the mail bcus it was 1 the one i loked best 2 went with the outfit 3 relatively#cheap 4 the literal ONLY one of that same shirt being sold anywhere so i couldn't replace it#have looked every so often for that one & some of the other ones that would work well enough & was only finding the re/done one being sold#for SO stupidly much & different versions of the denim forum one but FINALLY found the exact one & it wasnt even expensive. please dont get#lost in the mail!!!!#this ended up being so much stupid work for a dumb bit of 'since i have marie's cardigan now & already made a necklace like jordan's wouldnt#it be fun to put together an outfit w something from all 4 of the girls'#texticles
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i’ll stop yapping but i also wanna say even tho no one asked that @ my prev post i think a lot of it does have to do with how old the community is. like we’ve done all the drama before and pretty much all of us are adults with like lives outside of the game and basic manners and stuff. it’s just jarring whenever i hear about something from ts4 community like oh yeah we had that drama like 15 years ago. weird that sims players are still having some of these discussions
#i cannot stop anyone from putting their sims content behind a paywall#but as a veteran sims player. lmao. you are a fool and look stupid#i just wanna clarify i say this stuff cause. i really am a veteran#i know sims 4 brought in a ton of new players or like people around my age who#played sims 1/2 growing up and finally got really into it with 4#which is fine! idc! i’m not judging or anything literally it doesn’t matter#but i literally grew up playing sims. specifically 2#my earliest memories of being on the internet are of going through forums from the early 2000’s pre 2010’s#and a lot of the sims 2 community is the same way like we never left this game specifically#and since sims 2 came out in 2004..yeah we already did a lot of the things sims 4 players are doing#if that makes sense. like i don’t think these are bad people necessarily#it’s just wild coming at it from the perspective of someone who’s already done all that shit and is in a very peaceful community now#like sims 2 community feels like the post apocalypse where everything has settled#and we’ve built a life for ourselves and the plants are growing back u know#while sims 4 players are still fucking. arguing over paid content#shrug#snow.txt
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You know what isn't a crime, but definitely should be one? The casual mischaracterization of Sentry in fan content. I'm so done😭
1. I hate how he's often depicted as cruel, he's not, look at him, fucking look? And when Ava asks about the hair dye, what does he do? He looks to Val for an answer, he's constantly fidgeting, trying to find an out for the bunch of misfits who previously helped him in the vault.
2. I hate how people try to turn it into a Marc Spector, Steven Grant and Jake Lockley situation when it's. Like. Not?? This is such a disservice to both Moon Knight and The Sentry, and real people who relate to the two characters' (very distinct very different) mental health issues. Bob doesn't have DID, if anything, the movie leans towards him being bipolar. Sentry is Bob, the guy literally tells Yelena in the vault that he has high highs and low lows, the high is Sentry, the low is the Void, that's it. Bob is both Sentry and The Void. What's so hard to understand? It's the mania (Sentry), followed by depression (Void) then he forgets. That's how Bob describes it in the first act of the film, that's how it happens in the third act.
3. This is not a contradiction to point 1, but Sentry is unhinged. He is awkward and somehow soft spoken? But he is unhinged, and invincible, and fucking terrifying. I'm tired of the stoic depictions in fics like🙂↔️ idc if you wanna write fics for comic Sentry, just don't tag them as mcu stuff. (WHO AM I KIDDING COMIC SENTRY IS FUCKING SCARYYY STOP THE BABYFICATION)
4. He is not evil (the fact that we have to spell this out... media literacy is truly dead huh), no shit the Thunderbolts* will be scared of him, of course they will be– he kicked the ever-living shit out of them. But he's not malicious, he doesn't use unnecessary force. Call it condescending, but he's going easy on them, toying with them, and deals arguably softer blows to Yelena, John and Ava, the trio he already met at the vault (because he's the same person, yk? jesus)
5. Prespective is a thing, the team wasn't there to see Sentry tell Val he doesn't want to kill them (they're no threat to him), it's the root cause of their disagreement, it leads to the New York Blackout TM, but we, the audience, were. So tell me why the fuck do I see stuff with this guy terrorizing that team for no reason? 😭 bfr guys.
6. So what? So while I can buy you showing me Ava or John or Alexei or Bucky or Yelena being fearful of the Sentry, or Val (hahaha eat shit Val), I simply can't get behind him actually being a threat to them, on purpose and beyond swatting them like flies, because hi hello have you seen the movie? Yeah.
7. Have I mentioned Sentry is unhinged? Yeah. Yeah. We got glimpses of it with Val before Mel pressed the kill switch but!! Sentry!! Is!! Unhinged!!
8. Find a middle ground, he doesn't have to be uwu or straight up satan or stoic as a rock, he is Bob in mania, so that's inherently Bob with high levels of energy and a higher self esteem (more like a GODLY EGO) and impulsivness and dillusions of grandeur (except they're not dellusions anymore? So rip), so do with that what you will.
Fingers crossed for more in-character Sentry content, at least the Sentry depicted by Lewis Pullman, who put his all into this performance but whose character is still somehow misunderstood? Anyways.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
#bob reynolds#thunderbolts#robert reynolds#the sentry#mcu#robert reynolds gif#sentryagent#john walker#voidwalker#thunderbolts*#the new avengers#marvel studios#moon knight#yelena belova#ava starr#ghost#us agent#boblena#bucky Barnes#alexei shostakov#red guardian#valentina allegra de fontaine#mel
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the tudors is one of the best shows ever made because they did a time skip of a single solitary year between episodes 8 and 9 and for someone reason THAT was when they decided to slather everyone in old age makeup and have it look like they've aged twenty years in the span of 365 days
#personal#like they'd already done some aging work throughout the season#jrm had more grey hair and brandon's progressively got longer#not even touching on the fact that the time between 4x01 and the finale is only six years total#like seasons 3 and 4 don't encompass a whole lot of time it's only about a decade#the big thing that needed aging was either throughout season 1 or in the time skip between season 1 and season 2#since it was the great matter that went on for so long#everything else had a decently short time frame
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