#got tired of rendering and it SHOWS
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skullsandcorals · 2 years ago
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃 ! Got self-indulgent here đŸ€­đŸ‘€
(click for better quality if you're on the mobile app. don't repost.)
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đŸ˜łđŸ«Ł
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lizaisdrawing · 1 year ago
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The girly girls đŸŒ·
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nityisdreaming · 5 months ago
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russia and liet b like
TW : WRITTEN DESCRIPTION OF SEWERSLIDE
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kindly lmk if i need 2 tag/label this differently im just gettin back into social media
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emopulco · 10 months ago
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Five of Swords
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glowpuppy · 3 months ago
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stop and listen to what the wind whispers to you
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doki-mocha · 21 days ago
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early saturday morning distress
im full of thoughts and feelings and have nowhere to put them
#*slamming my head against the wall* how do i not have adhd how is it not adhd. autism doesnt get in the way of my work#who cares if autism gets in the way of how i socialize and function and how people perceive me#what matters is i get my comic done and i have projects finished#i want my room clean. i want to be able to cook things. i want to enjoy shows and movies.#i want to have a comic to work on consistently in my life#i want to have fully rendered art pieces again#im freaking tired of having nothing of incomplete ideas and having materials laid out ready to be used#i have done nothing in my life that deserves any rewards or awards. i deserve no praise because ive done NOTHING#I JUST CANT GET MYSELF TO DO THINGS AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THEM#AND DONT TELL ME ITS JUST POSSIBLE AUTISM#DONT TELL ME ITS JUST A SLEEP DISORDER#I HAVE EVERY SYMPTOM OF INATTENTIVE ADHD SINCE DAY 1 SINCE I WAS BORN#and maybe autism BUT WHAT MATTERS IS THE ADHD#IT HAS BEEN RUINING MY LIFE. IT HAS BEEN MY STRUGGLE THROUGH SCHOOL THROUGH WORK. THROUGH ART#IM FUCKING DISTRAUGHT AND THERES NO ONE I CAN TALK TO ABOUT THIS BECAUSE MY PSYCH WONT ADDRESS IT#MY THERAPIST WONT ADDRESS IT. BECAUSE I HAVENT DONE A STINKING TEST. BECAUSE I HAVE A SLEEP DISORDER#dsitraugth. abosolutely distraught. im so angry and i cant do anything about it.#who cares if im autistic. its all in the past. my bullying and mistreatment is all in the past who caressss.#who cares if i collect stuffed animals. who cares i cant order food at a subway. who cares if i cant talk to people in a normal voice#i cant be passionate anymore? i cant stay motivated anymore? i cant hyperfixate anymore? i cant finish things EVER.#im just in shock. in awe. flabbergasted. it cant be adhd. it must be autism and a sleep disorder#CANT IT BE ALL THREE. IVE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS BABE. IM JUST#in shock. that i didnt show the obvious signs of an adhd kid when you talk to me for 10 minutes once a month#you just ask me hows my day#you dont ask me any struggles focusing today? any projects finished since we last saw you? have you been taking your meds consistently?#what can you take from that? how was your day? i forgot. i literally forgot what i did before i came here. huh? isnt that adhd enough for y#let me ask you uber specific questions about autism. do you have trouble with food textures?#can you read emotions of others? do you react appropriately to these specific situations?#youre already biased towards the autism. everyone disregarding the ACTUAL PROBLEMS IM HAVING#who cares if i cant eat apple sauce. I WANT TO WORK ON MY COMIC!?????
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kurooh · 6 months ago
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PROFESSIONAL ( AT LOVIN’ ) !
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âŠč₊˚. HAWKS’ BDAY 2024 — after six months of being his press agent’s friend with all kinds of benefits, keigo struggles to find a way to tell you that he can’t keep up his side of the agreement any longer. / or, his heart’s been in it since the very beginning.
word count: 14.3K (um
.please readđŸ§Žâ€â™€ïž)
warnings: 18+ content — mdni, fem! reader, friends with benefits -> lovers, angst, unprotected sex, creampies, cunnilingus, drinking (everyone is mid twenties), dirty talk, squirting once, office sex.
xoxo, juno: happy LATE birthday to keigo <33 WOOO first fic of 2025 and it’s the longest one i’ve ever written.. inspired by the weeknd’s kissland! hope you enjoy, love you guys :,) đŸ©·
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“this pussy of yours is pretty fuckin’ greedy, huh?”
“how could i not be when you always fuck me so g-good?” the filthy words rush out of your mouth in a surge of euphoria that has taken over your cognitive functions and renders you clinically cock drunk. in this state, things you’d normally never agree to are suddenly more alluring than a shiny trinket to a nesting bird. sex on the roof of the heroes’ safety commission is outlandish and obscene (you’d used those words when keigo had first brought it up in jest) — but here you are getting plowed by none other than the no. 2 hero of japan.
“aw, dovey,” keigo coos, gloved hand closing around the slope of your neck and tugging you back into his chest, “you’ve always got the best compliments, don’t ya?”
“ah, r-right there!” you gasp, eyes rolling back into your skull as your third orgasm of the half hour boils in your tummy like magma in an explosive volcano. “shit, kei, ‘m gonna cum again..”
“heh, go ahead ‘n let it out for me,” the heel of his other hand digs hard into the plush skin above your pubic bone and the crude slapping of skin against skin grows louder. “c’mon, baby, cum all over this cock. show me how good you feel, yeah?”
“yeah,” you whimper, desperately throwing your ass back onto his cock to get him even deeper, “oh my god, keigo, fuuuck—‘m cumming!”
it nearly sweeps you off your feet, the strength of your blissful orgasm leaving you shaking violently and clenching uncontrollably on keigo’s cock. his teeth sharply sink into his lower lip when he quickly pulls out of you, lamely stroking himself to completion above your ass and spraying strings of ivory onto your skin. your body is slick with sweat and now cum, but the messiness of the situation doesn’t hit you quite yet — you’re busy trying to catch your breath while he hangs his head lowly behind you.
keigo still holds you upright on legs of jelly, lightly beating his wings to help stabilize himself. watchful gold eyes sweep over your body, doing a once over and admiring every inch of you. he’s always considered you as the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and has always felt lucky to touch you — so why does he feel so damn unfulfilled? it’s probably a form of karma; keigo hasn’t ever had a consistent relationship, all due to his own actions. so many of his old girlfriends had clashed with him over his neglectful habits — his inability to give them time, attention, and effort. all of his relationships began positively, then quickly deteriorated into toxicity he’d grown tired of dealing with.
he’d been single for a year, and went without sex for longer. if he didn’t always have the press looming over his shoulder and scrutinizing each of his damn movements, he would’ve been able to get his dick wet sooner! keigo would certainly never admit it, but the total deprivation has been a good thing, allowing him to reset and understand why those relationships had completely gone downhill. at the time, he’d pettily blamed his girlfriend or the new guy she’d moved on with.
you let out a tired puff of breath and break away from his hold too soon just to look at your phone, which is sitting on top of keigo’s jacket. “so, my lunch break isn’t over just yet. we can hit the sandwich place around the block if you’re up for it?”
god, you’ve got that lazy smile playing on your lips like it always does after he’s made you cum. how is it possible for someone to look so elegant even as she buttons her blouse and wipes cum off her ass with a spare napkin? his brain literally short circuits when you hand him his jacket, plush lips shaping around a word. words. didn’t you just say something? maybe his post nut clarity has faded into obscurity, or he’s lost his hearing from how hard he just came.
“keigo,” you sigh, snapping your fingers in front of his face and briefly contemplating slapping him out of his stupor, “is the light on upstairs?”
a shiver jolts through him despite the fact that the weather’s warm, and his disassociated eyes finally hone in on you, standing right in front of him. “yeah, sorry. what’d you say earlier?”
you shrug on your suit jacket and slip into your heels. “i’m still free. we can grab sandwiches around the block if you’d like.”
so thoughtful. his heart swells happily at the prospect of eating lunch with you. it always does, usually accompanied with a flip in his stomach, whenever he tags along on something you’re doing, whether it’s eating lunch or sorting through lengthy documents after the office closes.
“sounds good. are we walking or flying, dovey?” your favorite sex petname rolls off his tongue naturally, and after months of this arrangement, you’ve stopped correcting him.
“let’s just walk,” you say decisively, wrapping the used napkin in another, “it attracts less press, showbird.”
☆ ☆
still thrumming with the sensations of sex, keigo walks into the restaurant behind you, piping up to place his order and then to swipe his card for the lunch. he dutifully waits at the table while you stand at the counter, glancing at your phone every now and then to alleviate the impatient boredom that accompanies most edible purchases. keigo allows himself a moment of respite, and instead of looking at his phone, he looks at you — particularly the way your clothes hug the slopes and curves of your body, much like he does when he’s coming down from an orgasm.
it was exactly eight months ago when keigo had first laid eyes on you. he knew right then and there that under no circumstances would he allow his old persona to shine through or mess things up between the two of you. for the first two months out of those eight, keigo had befriended you (with much encouragement from his friend mirko, bless her) and spent time getting to know you as a person over friendly lunches and the occasional drink. he’d committed each of your stories to memory and marked your birthday down on the calendar, something he’d never done for anyone else before. the beginning of everything was after one of those rare drinks that had landed you in keigo’s apartment and sitting criss-crossed on his bed, discussing your unlucky love life.
he’d listened with rapture as you pored over the freaks you’d met and gone out with in detail, mistakenly trusting your friends to set you up with someone nice on a blind date. in their defense, you’d drunkenly mumbled, it’s not their fault that there’s so many people catfishing. one inebriated conversation led to another, and you’d happened upon the fact that neither of you hadn’t had any good sex in a very long time. in the morning, you came into work late and sore all over, but also newly enlightened. for the past six months, you’ve successfully maintained a friends with benefits relationship with keigo takami, the no. 2 hero of japan.
“this one’s yours. here’s the receipt,” you push him a tightly wrapped sub sandwich and his tab.
he catches the sandwich after letting it spin on the table like an arrow on a game spinner, then crumples the receipt. “why don’t you believe me when i say i enjoy paying for you, hm?”
you sigh after a bite. “it makes me feel like a sugar baby . . but also, i can pay for myself.”
“so you’re either saying i’m old or rich,” keigo chuckles when you roll your eyes dramatically, “i know you can, but just let me spoil you, dovey.”
you knew it was a losing game the moment you brought it up, cheeks heating a little at the implication of his words. maybe being his baby isn’t that bad. conversation comes to a comfortable standstill as you both dig into your sandwiches, crumbs falling to the table and making a small mess. when you look up to pause and wipe your mouth, a laugh tumbles out before you can stop it.
“what?” keigo asks confusedly, holding his sandwich tightly and going so far as to swivel around backwards in hopes of pinpointing whatever made you laugh. 
you wrap a napkin over your fingers and lean across the table. instinctually, keigo leans in for a kiss, only to be a little more than heartbroken when you swerve to the side and dodge it to instead dab at a streak of mustard across his chin. the sudden intimacy and close proximity cause the apples of his cheeks to turn rosy in embarrassment. “did you just lead me on?” he asks when he notices you giggling at him again, voice taking on a playful and petty tone. “because it totally feels like you did that on purpose.”
“no, keigo,” a wide smile spreads across your face at his usual antics, “you were the one eating so quickly you got mustard all over your face! someone had to clean you up.”
in an instant, his voice drops an octave, becoming low and sultry. “you keep talking like that and i’ll clean you up.”
“i— we’re in public!” you exclaim, a dull ache pulsing between your legs at the thought of him using his tongue on you. 
he shrugs noncommittally, feeling triumphant now that he’s briefly flustered you. “public or not, you know you love it. now eat your sandwich.”
“way ahead of you,” heat floods your cheeks as you pick up the sandwich, feeling dirty because of the slick pooling into your underwear. keigo doesn’t understand how easy it is to get you worked up, whether it’s with his words or the mischievous footsie he keeps playing under the table with you. “if i come across a headline about this conversation, i’m gonna kill you.”
☆ ☆
“late night?” keigo hums, shattering your concentration on the current task. startled and disheveled, you glance up just in time to catch his typical smirk. his gold eyes shamelessly rake up and down your body as if he’s spotted something he wants—no, needs—to claim. however, his raunchy ogling comes to a screeching halt when he hones in on the shadowy dark circles beneath your eyes.
“the latest,” you blow out a peeved breath through pursed lips, doing your utmost to avoid looking out the window. it’s completely dark outside, the sky an inky blanket of night and stars over the city. “i’m fucking swamped.”
it comes out bitterly, and keigo cautiously steps forward, wings twitching nervously behind him. that well-groomed mess of vermilion feathers at his back seems to have a mind of its own, constantly betraying their owner by displaying his emotions so openly. 
“what, you coming to rescue me?” absentmindedly, you swish around your empty coffee mug. not a single drop flies over the edge, the porcelain totally dry as if it was never used.
“c’monnnn, you know i’m always up to rescue you,” he teases playfully, gently tugging the mug out of your grip and setting a reassuring palm down on your hunched shoulders. “i’ll get us some coffee and help you out when i get back.”
“i highly doubt that you’re qualified to deal with PR work, keigo.” a small though rascally smile plays on your lips, corners flicking up as your sour demeanor starts to mellow out. 
he sticks out his tongue and steps out of your office, heading to the kitchen. as his feet quietly pad along the hard carpet, he considers your recent behavior — last week you were fucking around on the roof and then getting sandwiches like it was nobody’s business. keigo was seeing you around the office and outside of it, but the time he’d been spending with you had decreased dramatically over the past few days. the coordinated lunch breaks and escapades were no more, and keigo’s been caught up wondering why. now, the reason for this couldn’t be linked to anything he did or said — still, it’s impossible for him not to overthink.
“god, you’re a lifesaver!” you groan joyously as keigo sets down a full mug of coffee in front of you and away from your laptop and notepad. “thank you for this.”
“slow down, you haven’t even seen the things i can do outside of making coffee.”
you rotate your laptop once he finally takes a seat in front of you, insistently pointing a finger at the various tasks on your metaphorical plate. “if i give you some work, you’ll have to do a lot of proofreading.”
keigo nods, and his eyebrows suddenly pull downwards in a mix of playful confusion and surprise. “wait, is that a virtual shrine dedicated to me?”
“what?” you mutter, squinting your eyes as you frantically look over the computer screen to no avail. “oh, shut up. just start reading while i finish up the rest.”
there’s a pause and a beat of silence as you both settle into your respective assignments.
then, “i actually came to the office because i missed you a little.”
“you what?” you laugh increduously, licking a finger to aid you in flipping through paperclipped pages. his eyes follow you, from the moment your tongue darts out to wet your skin and then flicks through pages you skim to find what you’re looking for.
“well, i haven’t seen you outside of work in a while,” keigo sniffs, tearing his eyes away from you and refocusing on the words on the screen. at the risk of sounding too vulnerable, he throws in something disgustingly horny to save himself. “was just wondering about my fuck buddy.”
fuck. he’s really cringing now, throat instinctually closing up once he feels waves of nausea crashing over him. but you don’t even bat an eye, too busy setting papers aside in different stacks and barely paying attention to him. “oh, yeah. i’m sorry, it’s just that a ton of people have been dumping so much work on me.”
“so that’s why i’m reading a drafted article enshrining endeavor as number one?” he grins, briefly catching your eyes. you’re not quite sure if it’s the exhaustion finally catching up or something else, but your stomach flutters when you automatically meet his gaze. loose papers drift to the floor, falling right past you. 
“yep, that’s why,” you laugh nervously, snatching up the papers so forcefully that they crumple in your grasp. keigo’s always so damn charming, and it affects you more now that you’re so tired. right?
“you want some dinner, dovey?” the affectionate pet name lingers in your mind, echoing loudly until it finally fades into a memory from a while ago. the transition of his affectionate voice into one choked with unadulterated pleasure is seamless, leaving you breathless in an instant. a glance at his wings has you sloppily picturing them fanned out above you and frantically beating the air as keigo ruts his hips into yours . . god, what’s gotten into you? he certainly could.
“i want you,” it slips out before you can stop it or even control it, words laced with a silent desperation only he can detect. “uh, i mean—”
“bold words,” a wolf whistle trills out into the air, reminding you that you’ve now started something you won’t be getting out of easily. “sure you can handle what you’re askin’ for, baby?”
“don’t act like i haven’t countless times before,” you retort, voice a little weaker than you’d like. it’s frustrating, the influence he has over your body — he hasn’t even said anything meaningful and yet heat’s surging to your cheeks while a shiver of excitement ripples through you.
“riiiight. aren’t you the one always saying you can’t handle it? ‘oh, keigo, please! i can’t, i—’”
the endless teasing is just too much — it makes your blood boil, gets your pulse racing, and absolutely does what it was intended to do. your full mug of coffee tips off the edge of the table and spills when you slam the laptop shut, leaping forward to rapidly close the distance between you two. your lips, slightly sticky with coffee, crash onto keigo’s hard, causing your foreheads to knock together too.
it’s a palpable invitation, one that he eagerly accepts without hesitation. his strong hands settle firmly on your hips in an attempt to stop their slight tremble, fingertips pressing into the curve of your waist. he pulls you into his lap and you fall into sync with one another just like always: keigo slips his tongue into your mouth while you tug at his blonde curls. impatience curated by time apart and characterized by frustration has the air in the room sparking with white hot electricity that’s strong enough to cause a power outage — you’re so close to finally scratching that unbearable itch, at least until it comes back tomorrow with much more ferocity.
keigo draws back with a knowing smile, lips curling up. “we should stop, dovey.”
a thin, glossy string of saliva connects your lips to his. you’ve got this desperate, needy look written all over your face, which crumples petulantly as you consider the possibility of being left unsatisfied. something purely horny twists in his chest, alongside his still yearning heart — keigo fucking loves being in control, being the only one who can give you the satisfaction that you so desperately need, but the thought of being something more resurfaces in his mind again.
it always comes to him at the worst times: right now, during a sexual moment, or before he falls asleep and when he opens his eyes to daylight in the morning. it’s eating him up inside, and he’s already too far in to stop — or is he? no, he isn’t! not if he finds a way to extricate himself from the suffocating casualness of this mess and advance whatever’s left into a real relationship, one that’s abundant in love and adoration. the evolution of the relationship hinges on the timing of his love confession, so he’ll definitely plan to wait until you’re not holed up in the office and on his lap looking like you’re about to shed tears.
“i c-can’t,” you gasp breathlessly, heart pounding in your ears, “kei, please— i need you so badly, i’ve been waiting so damn long.” 
and who is he to deny you, when you’re begging so beautifully?
“so you missed me?” keigo murmurs, pressing kisses to the column of your throat and savoring the way you softly gasp. this is his moment. he’s going to slyly frame a question for you, and when you answer it correctly, he’ll spring his confession onto you and then give you what you’ve been dying for.
“god, yes,” a moan rushes out from between your lips, head tipping back to give him easier access. with his nose pressed into your skin, keigo blissfully inhales the faint wisps of your favorite perfume. eight months later and you’re still wearing that scent daily, ever since he complimented you the day he met you. “you know i did, keigo.”
“what’d you miss the most?” he smirks between open mouthed kisses, guiding you straight to the answer with his warm hands that slip under your shirt and languidly caress the small of your back. 
“your cock, t-the way you fuck me,” you groan, unintentionally shattering his plan into pieces; but he doesn’t let it show, chuckling into your neck as he rapidly snatches them up and off the floor. it’s okay, he’s okay. all he has to do is ask a few more questions and offer up some multiple choice answers — in doing so, he’ll have a chance to tell you how he really feels.
“mmmm, is that all?” 
your eyebrows furrow in confusion and you tug him back by the hair, scrutinizing him with eyes clouded by lust and nothing else. a carnation colored flush sits high on his cheekbones, and his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows down a pesky i love you. not now, not here — this isn’t the right moment.
“keigo, why are you questioning me like my boss does?” he blinks, averting his eyes to your glossy neck, shining with his saliva in the dim light. it smells like coffee now, and he’s wondering if it’ll ever get cleaned up, dark liquid overflowing and soaking through the carpet, straight into the floor. he doesn’t want to be like the coffee, forgotten about and lingering in the air since it had fallen off the desk without you having caught it.
keigo knows you — he always has, and it’s too easy to pick up on the unmistakable tension twisted in your question, along with undertones of discomfort and deflection. automatically, he slips back into his typical persona, lips curling into an impish smile while he waggles his eyebrows to emphasize his words. “heh, you’re so impatient. can you blame me for wanting to build things up?”
you visibly relax, plush mouth forming into a pout he wants to kiss away. “i think there’s been plenty of build up. don’t tease me again.”
“yes ma’am,” he replies coolly, lifting his hands into the air in a show of submission. you release his hair and he pulls you into his chest, holding you tightly as he stands up from the chair. it rolls away into a corner, plastic backing hitting the wall with a soft thud just as keigo slams you down on the desk, papers flying every which way. 
“keigo, hah, you haven’t even gotten me naked yet,” you sigh, heat rushing to your face as he sinks to his knees on the hard carpet, his eyes never leaving yours. dexterous, impatient fingers find the clasp of your pants, and he drags them down your legs, along with your sticky panties. 
“i know,” keigo breathes, pulling your thighs over his shoulders and pulling your hips close to his face, “and yet, you’re already fucking soaked for me. aren’t you, baby?”
“yeah, i am,” you whimper, feeling your cunt clench around nothing when he rewards you by spitting onto your clit. “all for you, kei.”
“you’re so cute.” 
you really are, all spread out on the desk, pretty and pliant just for him. there’s not a shred of resistance when he manuvers you closer or teases his fingertips around your quivering hole, ignoring your strained cries for more. dark pupils enlarge against gold irises, and keigo’s wings flutter eagerly as his arousal crashes over him in continuous, steady waves of heat. now that he’s between your legs and focused on his favorite late night snack, the scent of the coffee dissipates along with his thoughts. 
“keigo,” you keen, fingers threading through his tousled curls, “please, just—oh god, stop fuckin’ teasing me.”
a sportive smack! lands on the side of your bare ass, kicking up a few papers when you jolt forward in surprise. “easy, baby. easy,” there’s a low, warning pitch in his voice, and you settle down frustratedly, gnawing on your lower lip. keigo’s never been one to rush when it comes to eating your pussy, even during quickies—you’d be more aggravated if he didn’t always make you cum so damn hard. his face is flushed pink and shining with eagerness as he pushes two fingers inside you, fixated on the way they slide in so easily. 
he experimentally curls them, and a lick of heat washes over his whole body when he watches your face crumple, head tipping back weakly while you tug at his hair. the blond curls are soft between your fingers, giving you something to grab onto when you need to steady yourself. 
“fuckkk,” keigo groans, attaching his rosy lips to your clit and lightly sucking at the swollen, sensitive bud. clumsily, you grind your hips against his mouth, body sweltering as the small office fills with the impolite smacks of his lips and wet squelches of your sloppy cunt. “loosen up for me, baby, you’re too tight.”
a trembly breath leaves your lips as you obediently readjust for him, spreading your legs and trying to relax so he can tug his fingers back. for a moment, he pauses to appreciatively look over his glossy, creamy fingers—he sticks them into his mouth, moaning and squeezing his eyes shut as he puts on a show of swirling his tongue around them like some kind of slut. once he opens his eyes, those piercing gold hues meet your own and he plunges them back inside, making you whimper.
“listen to me, dovey,” keigo murmurs, breath fanning over your wet clit, “i want you cumming hard on my fingers in the next thirty seconds.”
“but—oh,” your voice cracks when he deeply curls his fingers, purposefully interrupting you, “what if it’s not enough? i don’t think i can—”
sharp, pearly teeth lightly graze your clit and make you mewl noisily, the action both a warning and a reward. “yes, you can, dovey,” he utters in a hushed voice, “c’mon, show me you’re a big girl. i’ll be counting for ya.”
with that, keigo dives back in, furiously licking your clit while he roughly curls his fingers into that sweet, spongy spot inside you. it’s probably not serious, but something in your stomach flutters at the thought of disobeying him—if he wants you to cum, you’ll do just that. your hips rock into his tongue, developing a messy rhythm that could possibly rival his own when he’s inside you—he smirks against you, clearly pleased with himself. papers lift into the air, swirling around in a flurry of white as if they’re caught up in a tornado. the source of the miniature storm is his wings, uncontrollably flapping about as he determinedly licks at your clit like a lollipop. 
twenty five. a thin sheen of sweat shines on your forehead, making the skin tacky. absentmindedly, you wonder if it could be possible for him to cum in his pants just from eating you out. he certainly enjoys it enough — whenever he says he’s feeling thirsty or hungry, he’ll end up eating you out for so long you pass out by your seventh orgasm.
twenty. keigo’s absorbed in the smell, sight, and taste of you. nothing’s better than watching you fall apart on him, dewy tears in your eyes as you fight back overstimulation or impatience. but this is new: he’s never demanded you to cum after setting a time limit in place. it occurs to him now that he didn’t think far enough ahead to answer the question you’ll probably end up asking afterwards, something along the lines of ‘what would’ve happened if i didn’t cum?’ . . 
fifteen. with your eyes rolling back into your head as your hips lurch off the desk, a bit of drool pours down your chin. covered in a mixture of sweat, spit, and slick, you’re at a loss for words as keigo’s damn tongue rolls over your clit again and again. perhaps you’re too dazed, but you swear you feel him etch the letters of his name into you with the tip of his tongue.
ten. keigo’s pussydrunk, soaking his boxers with precum as he pushes you closer and closer to the edge. his eyes are dark with lust, and the rosy skin of his cheeks and chin is smeared with that sticky wetness he just can’t get enough of. all of your muscles pull taut like a bowstring, and you sob out his name, pushing his face into you as euphoria hits you from every direction and all at once.
“kei, oh my god, ‘m gonna fucking cum,” within seconds of your frantic gasps, you abruptly gush on his fingers, hard enough to push them out of you — cum squirts from your cunt, getting onto his face when he curiously leans in to lick it away.
you don’t get a second to come down from your high because keigo roughly licks you through it as if he’s severely dehydrated. “mmmph!” you squeal, hips immediately pulling away from him like he’s given you an electric shock. “wai—wait, keigo, it’s way too much!”
he relents, rolling his eyes as if he doesn’t believe you. “fine, fiiiiine. you win this one, dovey.”
“pants off.”
he quirks an eyebrow but starts to undo his belt, letting it fall to the floor with a soft bang. “you’re so fucking greedy, i swear.”
you throw him a glare, wiping sweat off of your forehead as you sit up, slowly hopping off of the desk. 
papers fall all around you, quietly crinkling as they hit the floor and surround the desk in a sloppy circle. your lips press into a thin line as you take the sight in, mildly exasperated by the mess you’ll force him to clean up. “on the desk, keigo. tuck your wings in too.”
he laughs in disbelief, used to calling the shots when it comes to sex, “so demanding, baby.”
you fix him with a serious look, crossing your arms over your chest while papers ride the dying currents of air made by his wings. keigo clears his throat and folds his wings close to his back, “yes ma’am.”
his flushed cock is rock hard, bobbing as he settles onto the desk; it’s fraught with veins and beautifully curved to one side, something you’re endlessly thankful for when he’s inside you. above him, you’re dripping wet and ready to take him deep — keigo shudders when you grip the base of his cock, carefully balancing yourself on the desk so that you can easily sit down on it.
“holy—oh, shit,” he curses, abs clenching beneath his clothing as he forces himself to keep his hips down. if you want to take control, he’ll give it to you — anything you could ever want is immediately yours. bleary gold eyes clear up and hone in on where you’re connected; your pussy swallows his cock whole like it’s nothing, leaving him breathless.
you swallow, gnawing at your lower lip, “i’ve fucking missed this, kei. been s-so long.”
memories from your most favorite escapades rush back to you so quickly your head spins, momentarily distracting you from the task at hand. there’s a beat of silence before keigo grips your hips, fingers digging into your skin as he borderline begs you, “baby, c’mon, fuck me already.”
“don’t tell me what to do,” you breathe, placing your hands in the center of his chest to hold yourself up, “you don’t get to do that right now, keigo.”
“god, you’re gonna kill me.”
maybe you won’t, but your hips will — they start to move until you’re bouncing roughly on his cock, letting his tip bully itself against your cervix. it’s the kind of kiss that only the two of you can understand, filled with affection and an hungry obsession for more.
for what seems to be the hundredth time, this mahogany desk is christened with more sex. skin claps against skin, filling the room with the same applause that echoes in a theater after a successful show; the whole building is empty, and it’s only your window that’s flooded with fluorescent light in the otherwise dark night.
“dovey,” keigo moans, voice cracking on the familiar pet name, “if you keep going like this, i’m—i’m not gonna last much longer.”
you don’t answer, eyes squeezing shut against the burn of exhaustion setting into your muscles. handsy as always, he grabs at your tits, pulling you further on top of him and taking a hardened nipple into his mouth.
the sharp edges of his pearly teeth drag against your skin as he sucks, golden eyes shutting once he hears your whiny moans grow louder. you’re fluid and all too smooth, riding his cock into oblivion while working in these little humps against his pelvis that don’t disturb the rhythm you’ve built up. your clit drags across his skin deliciously—shit, it’s possible that you could cum together.
“haah, baby,” keigo trembles beneath you, wings spreading out and quivering against his will. “i’m so damn close, i want—” it nearly sounds too intimate, but he ignores the voice in the back of his mind and focuses on his impending orgasm that’s fighting its way out of him. “shit, i just want you to cum with me.”
sensitivity creeps up your spine and makes your body ripple with a shudder, “r-rub my clit ‘n i will, kei.”
everything happens so damn fast; it doesn’t take long for your body to respond to his frenetic touch, and you completely fall apart on his cock, triggering his own high. while your cunt desperately grips him like a vice, he’s shooting endless ropes of cum deep against your cervix. ultimately, it was pointless for him to fold up his wings — they’ve fought against him like usual, strewing more papers around the room and knocking objects off of your desk.
“d-don’t move just yet,” he wheezes, holding your hips in place the moment you try to retreat, “just stay here for a second, dovey.”
a mixture of slick and cum is smeared in the wispy beige hair that adorns his pelvis, and he looks at you pleadingly, cheeks a blotchy pink. it’s cute, but not nearly convincing enough for you to stay much longer than half a minute. “c’mon, i’ve got some stuff to finish up.”
begrudgingly, keigo lets you go and winces as you pull off of his cock. it flops lamely against his stomach, cum dribbling down the sides and adding to the creamy ring around the base. he sighs, unsurprised by your eagerness to depart — his thighs are cooling now that you’re no longer sitting on top of them.
“that was good,” you say, voice layered with praise as you stand on the tips of your toes and peck an appreciative kiss to his cheek, “let’s get started on sorting papers, shall we?”
you’re already across the room before he can grab your waist and show you what a real kiss feels like, slipping through his fingers like fine grains of sand each and every time. 
☆ ☆
rules are the stitches in the seams of anything, always there to hold things tightly in place. it’s natural to break a few every now and then, but what if there are some that should be broken? perhaps they tend to hold things back rather than securely in place.
“okinawa’s just beautiful,” keigo says wistfully, reminiscing about white sand beaches and the bird’s eye view of colorful tourist umbrellas dotting the shoreline from above. there’s a small glitch in his memories that adds you to the scene in a bikini, sunbathing on a towel while he convinces you to come swim in the water with him. he hears himself say something impulsive, but he doesn’t regret it. “maybe we can go on a trip there together. i’ll fly us.”
you stir your drink with a straw, watching the alcohol whirl around ice. “ah, i think we should build up to that, keigo. you’re forgetting that i’ve never flown around that far with you before.”
“we could always change that,” he replies, voice suave. “nighttime is the best time to fly.”
“someday i might just take you up on it,” a laugh spills out of your mouth after a gulp of sweetened tequila, and keigo’s face softens. one of the things he loves most about you is the fact that you’re not afraid to be yourself around him, never once hiding a smile or laugh. “anyway, is there anywhere you haven’t traveled?”
“hmm, let me think,” he raises his fingers to his chin and ponders momentarily, although the answer had come to him the moment you’d started to ask the question. “well, there’s your house.”
you shake your head, nudging his wrist with your own. “noooo, i’m talking about other countries and cities. haven’t you flown out of japan?” 
“only to okinawa,” he supplies, wings twitching anxiously. whenever he brings up your home in the city or worse, him going to it, you always clam up or push him away. granted, it was a boundary line you’d marked in the sand when you’d gotten into this reciprocal relationship all those months ago. escapades have taken place everywhere but your home—he could count on one hand the amount of times he’d mentioned doing it at your place, only to end up on a random rooftop or in an empty alleyway. ever the quick learner, keigo learned not to bring it up. but now, when he’s considering all the variables involved when it comes to confessing to you, he can’t help but feel that it’s necessary to see your house at least once.
sweat rolls down his spine and he unconsciously tugs at his fitted shirt, feeling the heatwaves brought on from both the liquor and the crowded atmosphere of the bar. there’s so many people walking behind the two of you, so much noise, so many bodies all in one space — he feels a little trapped.
“i’ve never been,” you say, derailing his train of thought as you drain your third drink of the night and then flag down the bartender for another. “it’s supposed to be a great vacation spot, though.”
he wipes away the sweat from his forehead with his arm and finishes his drink before nodding your way, wings fidgeting behind him. “it really is, dovey. you wanna take off after another drink or two?”
two glasses slide on the counter, the sides dripping with condensation and cold to the touch. it’s nice to feel in his hands, and he feels his nerves calming after a few long sips. “sounds good,” you answer, feeling hot yourself. the edges of everything in the room seem to blur, thanks to the halos circling the dim bar lights. “you might have to carry me out of here, though.”
“oh, i don’t mind,” keigo answers with a smirk that you can hear in his voice before looking up at him, “but only if you promise you’ll hold on tightly.”
“yes, keigo,” you drawl, scooting your barstool a few inches closer to him. he follows your shameless eyes, tracing your weighted stare to the small gold chain around his neck. it makes a tinkling sound when keigo loops a finger beneath it, hazy eyes meeting your own.
“can’t stop staring, can you?”
you automatically roll your eyes and look away, although your heart starts to race with anticipation. it should be an innocent question, but keigo’s words roll off his tongue in a way that is loaded with his unique charm and flirtatiousness. in a matter of seconds, you’re overthinking the question and the certain innuendo behind it; your breaths come in shallow pants that are just barely audible, and a finger slips beneath your chin to tip your head up. 
keigo leans in, lips barely grazing the shell of your ear. “gettin’ all worked up and i haven’t even touched you? that’s a first for you, baby.”
just stop it, you think, yet you’re unable to turn away. damn, he’s got you right where he wants you, and he knows it — keigo shoots you a knowing smile when he notices your thighs unconsciously squeeze together. it’s so hot in this bar, and it only grows hotter in his presence; an uncontrollable shiver races up your spine and you shakily reach for your drink. “stop it, kei.”
your words are shaky, and his wings twitch triumphantly behind him, feathers slightly puffing up. the dewy glass slips right out of your hand and splashes all over your blouse, sticky tequila soaking all the way through to your bra and dampening your chest. keigo stifles a snicker and plucks the glass out of your lap, a little bit of liquid still sloshing around inside it.
“that—that was your fault,” you drop a loose ice cube into the remains of your drink and glare at him angrily as he dabs a handful of napkins against your chest, unabashedly looking over the shrinking fabric. now that it’s all wet, it clings to every inch of your chest and emphasizes the outline of your tits.
“oh, but i wasn’t holding the drink,” keigo clicks his tongue and sends you a wink, sweat shining on his forehead. 
“someone has to foot the bill,” you grouse, sourly blaming him for your now stained blouse and sticky chest. then, it hits you—neither of you are drunk enough to leave the bar. after flagging down the bartender and requesting six shots, you look at keigo competitively. “listen up. whoever finishes the shots first wins and doesn’t have to pay.”
“really, a drinking challenge?” keigo grumbles, knowing you have a better chance of winning. normally, he wouldn’t mind paying for you, but you’ve challenged him and might risk covering the bill you’ve both racked up. his head is fuzzy, but one thought is clear: he won’t let you.
“yes, really,” you shoot back, nose crinkling at the smell of the liquor all on its own in the shot glasses. it’s not sweet and there’s no chaser, but you’re determined to fight your gag reflex as it goes down. “ready?”
“i’m ready,” keigo sighs, lifting a shot glass. 
it ends faster than the alcohol was poured. you’re proud to have won, and keigo doesn’t let on the fact that he assisted you. despite the liquid fire burning your throat, you’re happy—too happy; this is the most drunk that keigo has ever seen you, and he’s in the same boat as you, looking for the oars.
he nearly forgets his card when he struggles to his feet and walks out of the bar with you, right into the not-so-dark nighttime of the city. all of the streetlights are fuzzy and the sounds of racing cars are muffled; this is a different area of the city and it takes a moment for you to register where you are in relation to keigo’s apartment.
“dovey,” he says, cheeks flushed a bright red, “do you wanna go to my place?”
strong, possessive hands find your waist and pull you close, pressing your damp chest against his. those gold eyes of his search your face carefully, as if he’s taking in your features and committing them to memory or looking for something he’s intent on finding. 
your hand settles on his cheek and you pull him forward for a kiss on the busy street, not caring about who sees or writes about it. you’re in your own world, thinking of nothing but keigo and his plush, yearning mouth—he’s got the sense to pull away before it goes further, vaguely gesturing for you to turn around. when you oblige, he wraps his arms around you and under your own, holding you securely against his chest.
“i’ll treat you to a little night flight.”
vermilion wings beat the air powerfully, kicking up dust and litter along the sidewalk as keigo lifts you off the ground and into the sky. you’re shocked and speechless as you look over the city from above, thousands of buildings endlessly illuminated with light and color from the entertainment district. “it’s beautiful up here,” you breathe, feeling a little less drunk now that chill air washes over your face and cools you down. “why didn’t you invite me up here sooner?”
keigo laughs, riding on the wind and becoming one with it. “i did, you just never took me up on it. as to why, i don’t know.”
everything’s so much clearer from up here. the view is impeccable, and the air is fresh, free of the different scents of the city — exhaust fumes, restaurants, cigarettes, the occasional incense store. you’re shivering, a little too cold from the breeze blowing through your damp blouse, but being pressed against keigo’s warm chest makes it more bearable. something prods at the back of your drunken mind, a thought you’ve pushed away each time it arrives.
keigo thinks he’s slick. he thinks you don’t notice his lingering gazes, the odd way he tries to snuggle up to you every time you finish having sex, or the acute tenderness written all over his face every now and then when he’s talking to you.
but you do. you notice it, each and every time—in fact, you know exactly what all of this behavior stems from, but you choose to ignore it. clearly, keigo is in love with you. it’s evident in his actions and body language, yet he hasn’t actually said anything. it’s so damn easy to notice and understand because you feel the same, you’re just better at hiding it. something about the idea of a relationship with the no. 2 pro hero of japan is daunting — not only because you’re his agent or you’ll constantly have to face the public, but because there’s a possibility that transitioning into something more from being friends with benefits may be too dramatic of a change. 
“oh, fuck,” keigo groans, getting lost in the myriad of lights and buildings below. he doesn’t know where the hell his apartment is and isn’t sure if he has the time to fly around for a half hour looking for it.
“what’s wrong?” you ask worriedly, suddenly aware of the fact that your legs are dangling in the air. in order to preserve his pride and sensitive ego, you don’t bring up anything about him dropping you, but your body tenses.
“it’s the shots,” he grouses, speaking quickly, “they’re gonna come back up.”
“where’s your apartment?”
“i don’t know,” keigo answers, and now you can hear him starting to gag as he forces the contents of his stomach back down. “i can’t keep flying around much longer . . sorry to cut this little flight short, baby.”
“it’s okay, just don’t get sick,” you reassure him slowly, trying to pinpoint your own apartment. surprisingly, the building is a minute or two away from you, if he flies fast enough. “keigo, we’ll head to my place. see that dark building right there, near the red billboard?”
he nods, and the waves of nausea evaporate instantly. after months, he’s finally going to see your apartment—he’s now leagues closer to successfully confessing his feelings to you. keigo’s heavy wings slice through the sky as he hurdles toward your apartment; while the speed is steady, the course is not. from below, people watch as something wobbles through the sky, shifting awkwardly from side to side in a way that isn’t at all graceful . . or intimidating.
you assume he really has to throw up, when it’s quite the opposite. “k-keigo, see that balcony with the potted plants? there’s only one pot of flowers.”
“is that yours?” he asks, struggling to control how giddy he is. “i see it.”
☆ ☆
with the solid, familiar ground of the balcony beneath your feet, things around you are a little steadier. still, the alcohol buzzes persistently in your head and makes you giggle over nothing. it’s warmer now that you’re out of the sky, standing close to keigo and surrounded by all of your potted plants. a pleasant tingling sensation courses through your limbs as your body wobbles, adjusting to being out of the air and the new thoughts that rush into your head.
everything’s still a little fuzzy at the edges, a reminder of your tipsiness and disorientation. keigo wraps a supportive arm around your waist when you nearly stumble to the ground, quietly giggling at your own actions and sighing contentedly in his grip. there’s a beat of silence as your body meshes into his, the kind that settles between two people who’ve just shared a long day, and it feels so natural that your mind absently drifts to two pairs of shoes beside one another and two cups of coffee in the mornings—perhaps you didn’t notice the routine you’ve slipped into, one so innate that it makes everything else feel a little less important.
“hey, did i mention how sexy you are when you’re drunk, dovey?” keigo hiccups, wings quivering as he leans on you for some support, struggling to balance just like you are. his knuckles nudge into your side gently, grin widening as if he’s waiting for a reaction from you. the playful edge to his voice falters momentarily, and you exhale through your nose, shaking your head in disbelief.
“ugh, you must’ve had much more than i thought,” you laugh, kicking the doormat up and retrieving the brass key from beneath it to unlock the door. it’s dark out here on the porch and the same inside, leading you to awkwardly jam the key into the lock.
“you always blow me off,” he sighs ruefully, smile dropping as he notices you using the key upside down. “what, do i embarrass you or something?”
“i-it’s not that,” you breathe, tensing the moment his chest presses against your back and his hand envelops yours to help you with the key. goosebumps rise on the tender flesh of your arms first, then all over your chest, beneath your damp blouse. you recover once the lock gives, sliding the heavy glass door open and catching your breath. “kei, you’ve always got something to say to me.”
“you, of all people, have the power to shut me up whenever you want,” keigo teases, following you into your quaint apartment. instead of appreciating the moment, his mind races to find an answer to the million-dollar question: why were you so intent on keeping him out of here? even in total darkness, the place is cozy, shelves adorned with knickknacks and dĂ©cor that suits you. totally lost in concentration, keigo’s wings bristle and he accidentally knocks something off a shelf, but manages to catch it in his hand. you’re in the middle of saying something, but he doesn’t even notice, his eyes completely lighting up at the sight of the object.
“is this that glass bird i gave you all those months ago?” 
a nervous laugh rushes past your lips and you nod, hand falling away from the light switch. “yeah, i thought it looked nice up there. it’s pretty.”
“wow, baby,” he gingerly puts the figurine back in its place, elated by the possible significance that this little glass bird holds. “if i’d known you liked it that much, i would’ve showered you in gifts.”
in the middle of unbuttoning your blouse, you trip over your own foot, and keigo, ever the hero, catches you as gently as he did the figurine. his fingers splay across your bare side and you blink up at him, faced with another small gap that’s dying to be closed. “i know what i want as a gift,” you utter, voice low and sultry. the words seem to hang in the air like more of a promise than a request.
keigo can smell the liquor on your breath and the temptation that accompanies it—without a second thought, his lips are on yours and he’s pushing forward with alcohol buzzing in his veins. he’s so full of hope, believing the best over what he’s considered a sign of something more; it feels so right to kiss you like this, with his hands spanning your bare waist and tugging gently at your waistband. it doesn’t quite occur to him that he is inebriated and therefore may not be thinking as sharply as he would if he were sober in this situation. 
you shove forward, pushing him hard into a wall and nipping at his lips hungrily. despite being a little bothered by him being in your apartment, you can’t say you’re not interested in fucking on your own bed for once. a shaky gasp leaves you when you pull away for breath, stomach fluttering delightedly at the hardness of his cock pressing into your thigh.
his breath hitches in his throat, hazy mind racing a thousand miles an hour. the question leaves his lips with more urgency than intended. “i—shit, you really want me to take you right here?”
“in the hallway?” you laugh, astonished. “i’d much prefer my bed, it’s easier for you to fuck me as hard as you want.”
desire and lust conducts your actions, has you dropping your blouse to the floor and unclasping your bra next. each article of clothing falls to the floor in a heap, forming a trail leading to the bedroom door. keigo follows your lead, wings jittering with anticipation as he crosses the threshold. billowy curtains blow up and around the window, lifted by the night breeze, and your room is dark, the details barely visible: keigo notices the many pillows on your bed (so that’s why you were on his ass about buying more than just one) and the full length mirror off to the side.
keigo stops to glance at his reflection in the mirror, fraught with the sculpted curves of muscle—each line a testament to years of hard work and dedication. dark hickeys litter his tanned skin, all left behind from the heat of many moments. momentarily, his eyes shift from the glass to you, perched on the bed and waiting for him. his fingers subconsciously graze over one of the marks, just as he recalls one of your rules, a line that had been drawn in the sand early on—no marks, nowhere near your neck or anywhere at all, even if people couldn’t see them. 
it’s a curious little thing, isn’t it? you clearly have no qualms about marking up his body, but you never let him give you some in return—he hasn’t voiced it, not yet. he exhales softly, feeling the ache between his legs flare once you call his name expectantly. it’s like a switch flips, causing his mind to sharpen and his pulse to quicken when he steps toward you.
bathed in opalescent moonlight, you sit back against your makeshift throne of pillows, eyes raking over him shamelessly, as if you’re looking for something else to sink your teeth into. vermilion feathers puff up and shake themselves out as the bed dips beneath his weight. “come here,” he beckons you lowly, with every intention of making you his. “you’re mine, aren’t you?”
now mussed with abundant wrinkles, the bedspread shifts beneath your bodies as keigo slots himself on top of you and hastily kisses down your neck, lightly nipping at the tender skin, just enough to elicit soft moans from you. doubt melts into desire, lacing his ministrations with something more urgent. for six months, keigo has never seen or left a single mark on you, and tonight, that’s about to change—you’ve already broken the biggest rule you had by bringing him to your apartment, so how much further could this go? 
“yeah, ‘m all yours,” you whine, back arching off the bed when he bites at the soft skin of your tits, tongue lapping away the sticky tequila you spilled earlier. it’s so different—he can’t believe he went this long without making any objections. 
things are heating up fast, and that haziness from the liquor creeps up on both of you, blurring your thoughts just enough. his hips chase yours into the bed, and he eagerly grinds his hardened cock against your thighs, all over them. your voice cracks slightly when you try to moan his name, impatient as always. but keigo decides to take his time with you, kissing and biting longer than usual—he’s in no rush, not yet.
it’s intoxicating in every way possible, causing your body to swelter and thrash beneath his own. keigo’s moving fast, delighting in your pleasure and drinking in every reaction unapologetically. fuck, to think you’d denied him and yourself for so long—he should make it up to you somehow, shouldn’t he?
“dovey,” he pants, fingers slipping under the fabric of the panties appreciatively, “you wore my favorites?”
crimson fabric adorns your waistline, threaded with soft lace. for lingerie, it’s pretty comfortable: it doesn’t floss your asshole like a thong or g-string does, something you’d told keigo when you tried it on in the dressing room. he knew he’d be buying it the moment you stepped out with a bright smile on your face. seeing it on you now is surreal, and he nearly creams his boxers at the sight of it, wings conveying his thoughts for him through a tremble.
your hips rise up and off the bed so he can pull away the last bit of fabric that covers your body. “yeah, but it doesn’t matter now,” you titter cheekily, shockwaves of arousal shooting straight between your thighs.
unceremoniously, your legs are thrown open and keigo’s wings flutter in amusement, always the first thing to react to whatever you have to say. “it matters to them,” keigo comments, jerking a thumb back to point at his pesky wings, “fair warning, this place might be a mess by the end of this.”
“so long as you help me deal with it tomorrow, i don’t mind,” your fingers swipe his cooling spit off your chest, and you’re a little startled as you press at a fresh hickey. it’s sticky, skin now sensitive and tingling in a way that’s just right.
fierce as always, keigo doesn’t waste any time diving between your legs, eager to fuck but even more so to eat your pussy. glistening strings of slick stick to the tender skin of your inner thighs, connecting them to each other thinly until he licks it away. “mmm, dovey,” he moans adoringly, and your pulse quickens, “taste so goddamn sweet.”
keigo’s a proud pussy eater, the filthiest and best you’ve ever met. he could be gasping for air with his face covered in your cum and yet, he’d still have something utterly nasty to say. unapologetically nose deep, he slurps loudly at your soaking cunt and pins your antsy legs down over his shoulders. 
“ngh, keigo,” you thrash forward, thighs squeezing his head like a vice while your hips uncontrollably buck into his face. “please don’t stop, don’t fucking stop—”
“keep squirming around like that and i will,” he grunts, one hand pressing you down into the bed while the other pushes between your thighs. those tenacious gold eyes of his are hooded now, gleaming rapturously as he devours everything you have to give him like he’s been starving. loud, sloppy slurps soon fill the room, falling into cadence with your whiny moans; scarlet feathers ruffle in response to his most favorite sounds, and his hips rut carelessly into the mattress, desperately seeking friction.
your head falls back into the downy pillows, jaw dropping slackly as you unsteadily sneak a hand down to your clit, fingers seeking to rub a lustful itch away. keigo’s fingers wrap around your wrist and snatch it away from your pussy, instead guiding your hand to his head in a show of acquiescence. 
“don’t go doing that,” he groans, pulling up for air and pressing a thumb to your swollen clit hard enough to make your eyes roll back into your skull, “use your words instead, dovey.”
you weakly nod his way, and a sudden, swift slap is delivered right to your clit, the force behind it causing you to see stars. a twisted yelp tears from your throat, and you’re doe eyed when you tearfully glance down at him, chest rising and falling rapidly.
“gotta work on using your words, baby,” keigo coos, thumbing away a stray tear from your cheek. “jus’ trying to make you understand that i need you to tell me what you want.”
there’s a dark edge to his voice that makes the apologetic tone he’s taken on seem ingenuine, almost a little mocking. and yet, you let out a sweet moan, leaning into his touch with a hushed, “yeah, kei. i understand.”
still reeling from the tingling impact of the pussy slap, you guide his head back down between your legs and unsteadily grind into his mouth. he greedily drinks you in, smacking his lips like he can’t get enough of your honeyed taste, and unconsciously pulling you closer. his fingers rub tight circles into your throbbing clit, occasionally pinching the bud to elicit a scream or two before letting go.
keigo had always been taught not to play with his food—but when she’s quaking against his face and sobbing out his name over and over, he just can’t help himself. he’s had a perpetual  mean streak that he’s only ever unleashed during sex with you, taking an overwhelming satisfaction in fucking you dumb and then teasing you about it. he notices the way your thighs tense at either side of his head, the way your head falls back whenever he tenses his tongue.
your clammy fingers claw through blonde curls, saccharine moans spilling from your lips with each ravenous push of his tongue through your folds. it’s a push and pull rhythm that is nothing less than addictive, dragging out the air from your lungs and leaving you utterly breathless. 
“g-god, keigo,” you keen loudly, shoving him down without any regard for his ability to breathe, “need you to—i need you to fuck me with your tongue.”
he groans in response, shamelessly humping the bed now that the ache between his legs has become too prominent to ignore. it flares dangerously every time you say his name or look at him with that blissed out expression written all over your face . . fuck, now you’re telling him exactly what you want and pushing him around, something he’s always enjoyed. his tongue slips into your awaiting cunt and pushes deep, tasting even more of you once he finds that puffy, spongy spot inside of you that makes you clench up every damn time. 
your breaths come in rushed, frantic gasps that soften each word. “fuuuck, right there—yeah, t-that’s it,” your voice shakes involuntarily, tight with inevitable euphoria. “kei, you’re gonna make me cum, hah—‘m real close, don’t stop, don’t stop.”
you chant those last words religiously, and keigo’s offended that you’re thinking he’d ever want to. “on my fuckin’ tongue,” he half groans, half begs, not sure if you even hear him at all.
keigo doesn’t dare to stop until you finally come undone on his tongue, shuddering uncontrollably as he licks you through your high, nearly passing out from a severe lack of oxygen. you’ve got him in a beautiful leglock that he regrets breaking out of, but seeing the dazed, drunken look on your face when he comes up erases the thought from his mind. the entire half of his lower face is covered in your cum, and heat floods your face when his pink tongue darts out to clean up his lips, all while holding your lidded gaze.
a few sanguine feathers float around your face, falling from the air like snowflakes and lightly settling on the bed like rose petals. it seems to make the moment warmer, more romantic as if this is your first time with him—in hindsight, it would’ve been nicer to christen the relationship with a bed of rose petals and scented candles scattered around the room. instead, it was something that happened fast and right after conversations about ex partners.
you pout at him as he positions himself on top of you once again, pressing a wet kiss to your mouth. instinctively, you lick away the mixture of spit and slick he leaves on your lips, tasting yourself on your tongue momentarily. it’s bittersweet and a little syrupy . . maybe he really isn’t lying about you tasting like candy. your thoughts fade away when you catch a glimpse of his vibrant wings — you’ve always seen them, but not like this. this time, you’re up close to them, so close you can see the downy barbs and delicate vanes of each individual feather.
“are your wings . . sensitive?” you ask curiously, voice carrying the barest note of reverence as your hand tentatively inches over his shoulder. after each and every covert tryst of yours, you’ve seen keigo smooth out the feathers or greet you in the morning with stimulating news of his freshly scrubbed wings. but this—touching them—feels like crossing an unspoken threshold.
keigo doesn’t answer, his breath catching in his throat. he’d been in the middle of dazedly tugging his boxers down his body when you’d just dropped a miniature bomb on him. this is the first time that he’s been this astonished, features mellowing profoundly. soon, he finds his voice and uses it, words intertwined with an unexpected tenderness: “ . . it’s alright. they’re just a little sensitive, heh. nobody’s ever touched them before.”
as if they understand you’re talking about them, his wings shift toward your fingers, obviously inviting you to touch them. this is certainly new — for the first time, his defiant wings are actually yearning to be touched, even though they get a little choosy when it’s him who’s brushing his hands through the feathers. gingerly, you reach forward and your hand disappears into the mussed feathers, fingertips brushing lightly against the sensitive skin beneath. the apex of his wings is abundant with small, downy feathers that quiver at your touch.
his eyelids flutter shut and he emits a shy moan, swallowing a sudden heart-shaped lump in his throat. courage swells in your chest and you push further, awed by the all-encompassing softness that meets your fingers. you’d expected them to be coarse, rough from years of flying and smelling earthy or musky. the faint scent of mango wafts through the air, stirring up a sense of familiarity and comfort in your chest, reminding you of all the times he’d protectively wrap his wings around your body as if to steady you. 
“they feel so nice,” you murmur, feeling his cock throb against your thigh. it draws you back into the moment, where you’re naked beneath him with anticipatory legs sprawled open. “so . . soft.”
keigo’s buzzing when you experimentally stroke your fingers through the thin feathers, an intimate form of worship that is only understood between the two of you. “you, ah, didn’t expect them to be?”
a wind created by his flapping wings kick up your curtains and make the metal rings clatter on the bar they’re hanging on. “i thought they’d be a little rougher,” you purr, voice smooth and sultry as your legs lift, locking tightly around his waist. his v-line is visibly sharp and hard to the touch like cut marble against the pillowy skin of your thighs, muscles flexing as he guides his cock to your soaked pussy. 
“i’ll show you rough, dovey,” keigo huffs, smearing his cock with your slick and pulling your legs away from his sides. he’s going to fuck you up, and he can’t do it properly in this position—your feet are thrown haphazardly over his shoulders, thighs folded tightly against your chest. he’s painfully hard, leaking sticky precum all over and trembling by the time he pushes the tip of his cock between your folds. your response is immediate; an eager moan slips out of your mouth, hips bucking impatiently onto his cock.
“damn, baby,” his chest heaves tirelessly, skin flushed pink and covered in a thin sheen of sweat, “you’re ready f’me, aren’t you?”
you look up at him with dewy eyes, electricity shooting through your every nerve. “i-if i was made for—ah—anything, it was taking your cock.”
god, you can’t just say shit like that and cluelessly think he won’t actually fall in love with you—he was only asking for a simple ‘yes’, but now he’s got hearts in his eyes as he finally pushes inside you, swallowing down the sudden urge to blow his load this fast. pulsating, gummy walls wrap around him and seem to suck him deeper without him even moving; he weakly presses his head into your shoulder, gasping frantically as he tries to adjust to the grip you’ve got on him.
“f-fuckkk,” he stutters out, regaining his cool composure after a moment despite the room feeling like a sauna, “i’m gonna hold you to that, you better not forget it.”
he’s relentless, going from zero to sixty in a second with no thoughts of slowing down — he’s jackhammering his hips, curved cock ramming right into your sweet spot and french kissing your cervix. you’re dripping wet, slick pouring down your ass and making each thrust slip ‘n slide all the more smoothly; the bed creaks ceaselessly beneath the weight of your bodies, groaning so loudly it occurs to you that it might just break. but that isn’t even a problem, not with keigo, who’d drop a ton of money on something you could just express the slightest bit of interest in.
“h-holy fuck, keigo,” you gasp out, back arching off the bed, “i could—oh my god, i could cum just from this.”
“yeah, dovey?” he grins, voice tight as he quite literally plunges deeper into heaven. “jus’ from my cock?”
sweat beads on your forehead, making your body swelter with endless steam that seems to vaporize any inhibitions you still had after all the drinks. “nghh, w-wait, ‘m gonna cum—”
“wait?” keigo practically barks out a laugh, shaking his head ruefully at you, “there’s no waiting. i want you to cum right on my cock ‘n i’ll fuck you through it, dovey.” 
you nod with mascara infused tears streaming down your face, legs quaking uncontrollably. everything seems to happen at once — a twinge of pain takes root in the backs of your thighs just as the built-up tension inside you snaps into thousands of sparks, finally igniting your long awaited orgasm.
keigo forces himself to keep his eyes open despite the fact that he’s risking an early orgasm, balls clenching at the sight of you: your lips form an o shape as euphoria washes over you, making your body quiver frenetically. he swallows dryly, closely rocking his hips against yours so you don’t push him out. 
“kei,” is the first thing you sob out when you recover, struggling to catch your breath with every thrust fucking the air out of your lungs. you’re sensitive all over, skin prickling with heat that doesn’t cool even with his wings creating a draft. 
he’s straining tight at the seams, heart pounding in his ears as he thinks of nothing but you.
you, you, you.
with your sweet, glossy-lipped smile in the mornings and the voice of a vixen when you innocently call his name. you’re nothing less than beautiful beneath him, clawing at his shoulders and staring up at him with those glazed over, blissed out eyes while your body molds against his. it’s a shape he knows well, one he’s pictured in his head when he’s all alone, one he’s been dreaming about whenever his eyes close.
his breath catches in his throat. “haah, fuck—dovey, i can’t hold it anymore.”
“right fuckin’ there,” your voice cracks into a squeal, “mhm, jus’ cum inside me.”
“you mean it?” keigo asks dumbly, nearly melting at the wild look you throw him in response.
“yeah, kei—shit, ‘m gonna cum again,” the words rush past your lips, urgent as ever and spurring him on to keep going, “i want you to—i need you to fill me up.”
something sweet flashes behind his gold eyes and he tucks his face into your shoulder, breath coming in frantic pants while he gasps your name. you’re practically in your own world, moaning loudly and dragging his slim hips closer to your own. when his cock starts to twitch deep inside you, the heel of your palm digs into his lower back, forcing his tip right against your cervix. he’s burning hot, utterly lost in you with no way of finding his way out — cum spurts from his cock and the spasms wrack his body, each stripping away a layer of him until he’s left with only his heart in his hands. 
“i fucking love you,” it rushes out and he doesn’t regret it for a second, “god, baby. i love you so much.”
your eyes roll back as your body surrenders to the toe-curling sensation of your third orgasm of the night, euphoria hitting you from all directions and rendering you clinically cock drunk. you muster just enough strength to wipe the salty tears away from your eyes, teeth chattering just the slightest bit as you drag in a gasping breath. 
after a moment, you yawn, stretching out your folded body and nudging at his chest to get him to lay down beside you. “ooh, that was great, kei. there’s no fucking way i’m walking tomorrow.”
coming down is the hardest part.
keigo’s shaken to his core by your flippant response to his confession, but most of all, he’s deeply embarrassed to have said something—no, to have thought something this stupid. finally, he’s getting a taste of karma from all of his failed relationships; he wishes that he could allow himself enough pity to ask the abyss of the universe what he did to deserve this. the heat that had once been sexy dissipates immediately, leaving him as cold as a corpse. he rolls over to the side, letting go of you and staring up at the ceiling, laying on top of wings that don’t even have enough life to twitch. pathetic tears prick at the corners of his marked eyes, and for the first time, he’s happy that the lights are off.
“keigo? did you hear me?”
“sorry, i didn’t. what was it you were saying?” he drags a forearm across his sweaty forehead, overlooking the tender inflection in your voice.
“i just . . i don’t know. that was really good,” he may not hear it, but you do. quickly, you clear your throat and tug up the blankets, inviting him to crawl underneath with you. “goodnight, kei.”
he should bite his tongue, but he doesn’t; this is the last time. “goodnight, dovey.”
☆ ☆
after tossing and turning the whole night, keigo finally decides to end the torture at 5:20 am the next morning. it’s still dark out, and he figures that he can easily slip away under the cover of night. he’s got a mild hangover, but it won’t impair him, not when he’s determined to keep it together until he gets back home.
soberly, he absorbs his surroundings and recalls the memories that have been plaguing him for hours. his body tenses, thick cords of muscle pulling taut as if he’s bracing against the impact of a punch, and like it has countless times before, the scene replays in his head again. his emotional, devoted admission of love was something you’d completely ignored—again and again, you’ve only ever shown an interest in his body.
in his chest, he feels his heart clench horribly as he looks over your sleeping form. you’re curled up in yourself under the warm blankets, turned toward him with a serene look on your face that makes it all the more difficult to slip out from under the sheets and into the cold. like a cat, he silently pads into the hallway and collects his clothes as if he was never there. he’s inches away from the back door he’d been so excited to step through last night when he stops in his tracks, head hanging lowly as pangs of guilt hit him like fists. it’s not right to just leave you like this, not without making an effort to say some kind of goodbye.
keigo hesitates in the hallway, feet seemingly glued to the floor. all he can hear are loud alarm bells—every instinct is begging him to leave, to spare himself the imminent heartbreak of going back in that room to see you. against his better judgment, he eventually tiptoes into your room with every intention of giving you one final kiss. at your bedside, he bends forward and presses his lips to your forehead; the kiss is entirely chaste, the brief touch carrying a blend of quiet grief and the tenderness of a love that was bound to fall through.
like most things in his life, this kiss doesn’t go as planned. there’s a momentary flash of blue and white—he’s managed to give you a strong, accidental static shock with an innocent kiss at 5:22 in the morning. you blearily wake up, squinting up at him in confusion and making out the high collar of his hero jacket.
“good morning, keigo,” you stretch under the blankets and reach for his hand, “what—what time is it?”
“it’s early,” he answers unsurely, sitting down on the foot of the bed. his wings droop, vermilion plumes seemingly inanimate. “y’know what, don’t worry about it. go back to sleep, baby.”
“but where’re you going?” you sit up abruptly, eyes narrowing at his fully clothed body. a glance over the edge of the bed reveals that he’s even got his boots on! 
“i’ve got patrol, silly,” keigo picks the easiest excuse out of an array of choices, and you sniff it out immediately. “i’m a hero, remember?” silence hangs in the air for a moment before you slowly speak up, sounding more confused than anything else. “but saturdays and sundays are your off days.”
keigo pauses, tongue sliding over his teeth as he contemplates what to say now that he’s been caught in his lie. like an idiot, he’s managed to trap himself. you scoff, cognitive functions coming to back to life as the final vestiges of sleep fade away into the ruined morning. did he actually expect you to wake up naked and hungover, all by yourself?
“okay, you caught me. i’ve got some stuff to deal with.”
“this early? c’mon, why’re you in such a rush?”
ultimately, it’s best for the both of you if he pulls away.
keigo’s usual smile drops and he sighs, “i’ve got shit to do, okay?”
it’s this early in the morning, and your blood pressure is already spiking in a way that is most undesirable. “are you fucking kidding me, keigo?”
the way you say his name so angrily, so accusingly—it fucking irks him, causing the corners of his lips to pull downwards into a scowl. he’s not really angry at you, he’s angry at himself for causing this dilemma to begin with, but you don’t know that. how could you really know anything about him aside from the way he likes to fuck?
“why are you getting so damn pissy? i’m going to leave whether you want me to or not, okay?”
stark naked, you exit the safety of the bed and make a beeline to your dresser, where you yank open drawers in search of clothes. keigo stands, watching longingly as you pull on some panties and a bra.
“i’m getting pissy because you wanted to take off so i could wake up naked and alone! you didn’t even say goodbye.”
“i was trying to,” keigo argues back, jumping to his feet, “but you were the one who ruined that for yourself, didn’t you?”
“a kiss isn’t enough!” you snap, now covered in a loose t shirt and pajama shorts. “couldn’t you have just waited a few hours? maybe then you could’ve told me why you were leaving.”
“what the hell? so you’re saying i need a reason to go back to my own house?”
“i don’t see why you think you can lie to me!” your voice raises furiously, words sharp as daggers, “i’m not just your agent, keigo. i know you, i care about you! don’t you get that?”
it’s quickly evolved into a dangerous game of catch, the pressure to be the one to drop the ball growing heavier atop his shoulders with each passing moment. painfully, a vein in his forehead pulses from the headache brought on by the hangover and the memories that follow it. it’s been hours and he can’t seem to shake away the pain that gnaws away at him. he’s so stupid.
“yeah, i know you are,” keigo grits out bitterly, “all i wanted to do was leave.”
“so abruptly?” you press him for answers, flicking on a small lamp so you can see him clearly. deep wrinkles span the entirety of each article of clothing that hangs on his body, but it’s the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes that makes him look unusually sloppy, getting you to pause as you take the sight of him in. concerned for his wellbeing, you soften, body relaxing. “what—keigo, what’s wrong?”
“it’s just the hangover,” he squints defensively, backing away and into a corner, “anyway, you got your goodbye, didn’t you?”
your gentle, worried face falls away. it hurts more than any injury he’s ever gotten, but he has to keep the walls up to protect himself from the pain even though guilt slips in through the cracks like mustard gas. with a pinched sigh, keigo backs away from the wall, wings limply hanging behind him as he prepares to exit your bedroom with no intention of ever coming back.
he’s blindsiding you, lying to you out of nowhere and slipping through your fingers like steam, too elusive for his own good. without a second thought, you close the distance and grab firmly at his wrist, a gesture that would’ve worked once. “i can’t do this anymore,” he mutters without looking over his shoulder, snatching away from you as if he’s been burned. “i just . . i can’t.”
“what’re you—what do you mean, keigo?” he looks out into the distance of the hallway, focusing on a specific floor tile and tracing its grooves so he doesn’t have to see your face. just from your voice, he knows you must be absolutely crushed. for courage, he allows himself a steady inhale before stepping past the threshold and leaving you in the lurch.
“this,” keigo turns, gesturing wildly and spitting out the words as if everything that’s happened in this room is horribly filthy, “it’s bullshit, all of it. i’m done, got that?”
there’s a beat of silence, and keigo stays a second too long.
“keigo, you’re breaking my heart here.”
you’re probably referring to the sex, aren’t you? surely you’re disappointed by the fact that you’ll no longer be fucking the no. 2 hero, petting his wings and calling him by a name few are able to.
“oh, come on,” he looks over you sourly, shaking his head as his eyes span the entirety of your body, “you’re pretty. you’ll find yourself a new fuck buddy, it’s not that big of a deal.”
immediately, he regrets saying it, feeling a rush of nausea in his stomach—he doesn’t want you with anyone else.
you blink back tears, his stare suddenly invasive and hurtful. “i don’t want a new fuck buddy, i want you.”
“tough shit,” keigo grunts, wings drooping further down. the longest feathers now drag along the floor, picking up whatever there is to offer. “i’m done being friends with benefits.”
“i just—all this fucking time, i’ve been wasting my time wanting to be with you,” the words tumble out of you bitterly, filling up the space between you with everything you’ve ever wanted to say, and his ears prick, grasping at a possible implication beneath all of it, “god, to think i was afraid we wouldn’t be able to become something more—all of this was a mistake.”
keigo pauses, heart pounding in his ears and possibly affecting his ability to hear. “you’re . . in love with me?”
“i was,” the correction is swift and choked, reverberating straight to his core and making his body stiffen. it hurts more than anything to hear, carrying a horrible weight, the kind that makes him realize you’ve given up on him.
“then why didn’t you—that doesn’t make any sense,” he gasps, the newfound information hitting him like a freight train, “if you were in love with me, why didn’t you—how couldn’t you have said something?”
“what’re you talking about?” you hiss, harshly rubbing away the tears in your eyes with the back of your hand. keigo’s bewildered now, face devoid of anything but shock and some kind of adoration as he seems to process something inside his head.
he stares at you desperately, struggling for the right words, “fuck, dovey, why didn’t you say anything last night?”
“don’t call me that,” you snap, the petname far too fond for a moment like this one, “why would i possibly have said something last night?”
keigo falters, and his voice cracks as the words rush out like a torrent. “i told you that i—god, i fucking told you i loved you. didn’t you hear me?” 
oh.
oh.
his heart squeezes painfully in his chest when the realization washes over your face, making him realize the gravity of this misunderstanding—you didn’t hear him.
wearily, you take a seat on the edge of the bed. he sees the way your spine curves forward, and bites down hard on his lower lip once the first sob slips out of you. in an instant, keigo’s beside you and pulling you into his arms, shaking all over. he doesn’t know what to say, but his voice breaks with endless regret when he finally comes up with something. “i’m sorry, god, i’m so sorry,” tears race down his cheeks and into your hair as he murmurs despairingly, “i thought you didn’t care, i didn’t know—”
there’s nothing more to say. 
keigo tries anyway, brokenly whispering apologies that fade into the air like smoke. his arms are tight around your body, holding you closely — it’s an unspoken promise to never let you go again. for the very first time, he truly melts into you without the walls in the way or the burden of hidden feelings. when you slowly relax against him and your sobs become quieter, something shifts in the air. vermilion wings, once held down by the weight of everything they’ve been carrying, finally come back to life. wings that have had no other purpose but to protect keigo now extend outwards to protect you too, soft feathers cradling you tenderly in the quiet of the morning. just over the horizon, the sun begins to rise, bathing the city in the light of dawn and new beginnings.
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sukunasteeth · 1 year ago
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Sukuna Dyes His Hair
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You were just teasing him.
"Pink like a petite little rose."
"Shut it."
They were just play-fighting words. Part of an attempt to poke the bear that never seemed to bite at you.
"Pink like a sweet strawberry."
"Strawberries are red."
Sukuna had had you in his lap, lazy with a long day of work weighing on his bones. He watched you dote on him with a tired smile, too exhausted to mind your fingers lovingly brushing at tufts of his hair. Usually he'd swat at a touch as careful as the one you were giving him, but there were moments, like this one, where he seemed to soak up your tenderness.
"Pink like a baby kitten's nose." You cooed.
"Jesus." He groaned, rolling his eyes. 
Maybe it was the ending boop to his own nose that made him finally snatch you up and tackle you to the mattress.
Maybe that's why one day later, you're staring at him standing outside of a restaurant, leaning against his motorcycle with stark black hair.
He's grinning at you, knowing that he's won the little game as he always does, with overkill.
It was a promised date night, one you had been planning for a few weeks now. Sukuna never had the same days off that you did, but the stars happened to align for you to go out to dinner together and you leapt at his invitation.
After he spots you from across the parking lot, Sukuna stubs his cigarette beneath his boot and starts over to you. You can tell in the way his eyes devilishly glimmer that he's excited to see your expression. 
You're in too much shock not to give him exactly what he wants.
"Hi~" He purrs when he nears you, reaching a hand out for one of your own. You offer it subconsciously, moving automatically since your brain seemed to be sputtering. His rings are cold against your fingers, but even their icy bite is not enough to stir you back to the present. He tugs you into his embrace, looping an arm around your lower waist and pressing you into him. He’s warm despite the chill on his fingertips. When he's got you secured to him, he tilts his head at you, waiting for your response.
"Hi." You whisper, blinking up at him.
You know he thinks you're going to hate it. You know he thinks you're going to give him a pout- tell him how heartbroken you are to see his natural hair go. That was undoubtedly the punchline of his stupid joke. You've told him numerous times how much you loved his hair and every part of him that made him Sukuna... So why is your mouth suddenly watering?
“What d'ya think?” He runs his fingers through it, showing it off to you as if your eyes aren’t already glued to the newly darkened locks. 
It suits him just as well as his natural hair color does, but the black brings out the deep, rich color of his eyes and makes prominent the tattoos framing his face. People always tell you that Sukuna’s stare intimidated them, and you never felt it yourself until then. 
You swallow past your heartbeat, which you can suddenly feel in your throat. Sukuna notices, and his mischievous grin turns wolfish.
"Oh, you like it. Don't you?" He murmurs. Reaching up, he presses your slightly agape mouth closed so that he can place a chaste kiss to your shell-shocked lips. The smell of tobacco and expensive cologne has you in an even more intoxicated daze, rendering you boneless in his hold. His next words are a heated whisper, for your ears only.
"I usually only manage to take the words out of your mouth when you're strapped to my bed. This gotcha that good, little doe?" 
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yanderenightmare · 1 year ago
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TW: nsfw, dubcon, coercion, bullying
fem reader
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Your bully says he’s always been curious about what it’s like to fuck a geeky good girl like you—and that he’ll leave you if you let him have a taste.
You knew he was probably mostly joking when he offered
 but you were sick and tired and perhaps a little desperate for the chance of him finally leaving you alone—so you balled your fists within his shirt, dragged him inside an empty classroom, and told him he could do whatever he wanted.
You don’t know who was more surprised.
He never knew you to be so brazen—but it’s not like you’re some blushing virgin, either.
You have experience. However, most of that experience is with nicer guys
 not someone like him

It’s not like you expected him to go easy on you, but still

You bruise against the desk he has you bent over on—dewy-faced and panting, lying cheek-down in your own drool as he fucks full-chested moans right out of you. He snickers when your thighs shake, whistling with a grin when feeling your tight cunt flutter around him—slick dripping to the floor in a little puddle.
“You’re so wet it’s embarrassing.” He laughs.
He’s got your arms tussled behind your back, using your shirt as bindings—having balled your skirt up around your waist in two tight fists, knuckles white while using it to keep you still as he pounds into you with a mean snap of his hips. 
Your heart drops when you hear a rip. A second time when, you feel his movements still, and a thick warmth starts to fill you.
“Ah—fuck—don’t squeeze so tight—I’m ‘bout to—” He grunts, but it’s already too late once he pulls out.
Panting heavily as his cock drips with the last drop—hunched over—his eyes fall to your glossy cunt, half-mast while staring at the way his cum slowly leaks out of the still-fluttering little hole. 
He feels a cute-aggressive urge to slap it but doesn’t want to get his hand all sticky.
He pulls his pants up instead, only bothering to button his shirt up halfway, tie hanging loosely around his neck. Anyone with eyes could guess what he’d been doing with his sweaty hair and that flushed look on his face.
And yet he starts leaving without a care or a word. 
Already halfway out the door before you get your wits back.
“No—wait!” You warble, unknotting your sleeves to wrap your shirt around you. “You can’t leave me like this—my skirt
” You hold the tattered piece up for him to see, showing him the tear he’d made, rendering it unwearable.
His hand is still on the doorknob, only bothering to acknowledge you with a jaded look over his shoulder. “How’s that my problem?”
Your brows cinch that pitiful way it always does. That cute way that has his gut bubble and fizz. “Please
” You plead, and it’s almost enough to make his cock perk up again. “Just bring me a skirt from lost and found
 please?”
He sighs—the door at his back as he leans against it with arms folded upon his chest. “Tch—and what's in it for me?”
You nibble your lip in thought—but you already know the answer. 
“I’ll be better at it next time—just... please?”
“Hm
” He hums in thought, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips, tugged as if your words had pulled it with string. “Wait here, I’ll be back.”
The door closed with a click, and you were left in the classroom alone.
A few minutes passed. You doubted his return. 
You could always call a friend
 but you didn’t want to get anyone into any trouble—calling them when they’re in class. Also, how would you even explain it to them? What type of person skips class to have sex in an empty classroom? Not to mention, they’d ask who you’d done it with—and there was just no way you could tell them. It’d be too embarrassing—you might just die—and if anyone else ever found out, he’d more likely kill you himself.
Well
 suppose you could always make the run to Lost and Found yourself. The hallways should be mostly empty at this hour, but there’s really no guarantee. 
In the end, the thought of someone catching you in cum-soaked panties makes you hold onto all hope that your bully would return as he’d said.
And fifteen minutes later, he does. Black school skirt in one hand and strawberry milk in the other. Seemed he’d taken the time to stop at a vending machine.
But you don’t care. Breathing out a sigh of relief—gratitude on your lips as you leap over to him. “Thank you—” 
You eagerly accept the skirt—putting it on just as quickly.
He leans back against the door again, sipping his carton while watching you fall still with dismay. Humored at the pout that takes your lips as you look up at him with those pitiful doe-eyes.
“This is too short
”
He hides his smile with a tilt of his head. “Oh?” He grabs his jaw and pretends to assess your bottom half with focus. “Hmm
 turn around, lemme see.”
You listen trustingly—as though you actually believe he cares. It almost makes him laugh out loud at how fucking gullible you are. But he keeps his act tight. Humming at the sight of the skirt only barely covering the crease of your cute ass.
“You’re right—something’s off.” He admits. 
You look back at him just in time to see his smirk before he grabs you. 
Keeping you still with an arm wrapped around your waist, he tips you over and grabs your panties—pulling them despite your body's protests as you wiggle in his hold. You cry as the fabric wedges up between your asscheeks, kicking your legs behind you until feeling it rip.
“There you go
” He coos while letting go of you, twirling the torn string in his hand. “Now it fits perfectly.”
He chuckles at the pretty tears clumped upon your lashes as you look at him with your lip tucked between your teeth until you finally get the grit to say what’s on the tip of your tongue.
“You’re an asshole.”
He sneers with a smile and bags your panties in his pocket—then turns around and opens the door. Leaving you worse off than before.
“Never said otherwise, buttercup.”
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BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Shigaraki, Hawks, Shinso, Kirishima
JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Gojo, Toji
DS – Akaza, Sanemi
HQ – Kuro, Miya twins
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nxuriah · 5 months ago
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Bathroom Break
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Neighbor!Choso overhears you.
content warnings: MDNI, masturbation, voyeurism, modern AU, neighbors.
pairing: Choso x petite fem!reader
a/n : first time writing smut, pls be nice. I know it's a bit rushed but im ready to move on from this draft thats been sitting here for ages. 😭
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You were the nicest, most goody two shoes girl in the building, and everyone knew it. Always saying hi with a bright smile as you exchanged glances, lending a hand whenever you could, bringing over little sweet treats you'd baked, and Choso adored every bit of it. Soon enough, those small morning exchanges turned into letting Choso come over whenever he got lonely, which became quite frequent as he moved in. Since that first day, God graced his doorstep with what– more like whom Yuuji liked to call a “literal Disney princess,” you were the cutest girl he'd ever seen. So, nothing could have prepared him for the events that followed his midnight bathroom break.
Eyes half shut, choso pulled down the toilet lid before lazily reaching for the flush not rendering that muffled sound once but the second time he stilled, actually catching it. He wasn’t sure what that noise was before it grew into little groans.
Now he couldn't care less about what lonely old guy was watching porn, before hearing that soft melody of a voice whimpering out profanities. That same voice he had memorized by now. Oh. That's not porn. He thought because that familiar voice was unmistakable to him by now.
Good morning. She'd call out from behind me. I could hear the smile in the sound of her greeting.
Blood rushed straight to his cock as your soft pants travelled the thin walls. He found it hard to believe that this was the same innocent looking girl who made his days better with her infectious smile. Part of him didn't want to believe it. Choso had always liked you but he would never have even begun to think of you inappropriately much less get aroused by you but when his length strained against his pants which felt tighter by the second. He couldn't stop the images flooding through his mind at your increasing moans.
Fuck– Were you even trying to be quiet? He breathed out softly.
Choso could never imagine you thinking about such lewd things, much less being so careless about it. A sense of guilt flooded him as he begrudgingly loosened his pajama pants, scared that you would somehow know. His trembling hand slowly trailing downwards and wrapping around himself. Just a small rub he thought before finding his thumb tracing shaky circles over his sensitive tip, reluctantly moving down his length. By then his hands moved on their own pumping up and down in a steady rhythm.
He didn't know any better and Yuuji told him when it's like this
he could just ease it himself, so he did. Could you blame him? He was aching down there.
It was hard not coating the bathroom floor immediately after hearing you cry out. He leaned against the wall now fisting his cock, which grew slick in minutes. Only from your sounds..those oh, “so- fucking–thrust pretty- thrust” sounds.
He panted letting out muffled whines himself imagining your sweaty and tired body all spread out under your cute little hands, knuckles deep plunging in your sopping cunt relentlessly as you sobbed out more of those filthy sounds. Choso had never heard a girl like that. Not that he had any experience but even in the things Yuuji showed him he never heard something that made him such a (pretty) mess.
His tip flushed furiously pink as he barely held on. Choso wanted to match each stroke, each thrust to your pornographic cries but the poor inexperienced boy could only last so long, his balls tightening quite soon letting out thick ropes of his cum all over the bathroom wall dripping on to the floor biting into his hand to stop his groan. His knees went weak, imagining you coated in it.
He heard you finish yourself soon after your voice softened down to satisfied coos rather than your earlier pathetic cries. His length twitched still hard, desperate to now actually feel you. Choso had to fist his cock a few more times that night before he was able to fall asleep.
Sleep wasn't great, though, as the shame took over him. Although he wanted nothing more than to see you now, how could he possibly face you tomorrow morning?
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...Part 2??
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p1nkshield · 4 months ago
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Danny tried to inject a little more mirth into his laugh as he appeared in front of the group of young heroes, hoping to shock them a bit.
“Hell-”
“RAAGH!”
Superboy launched himself at their assumed enemy. Or he thought he did. Instead he was grabbed out of the air, spun about like a dance partner and thrown into the running path of his speedster teammate.
“Hold on! Return to sender please! Honestly, I didn’t even get to finish my monologue! You could’ve gotten some good information from that!”
Danny feigned a pout as he floated to the ground, purposefully letting aquaman’s little protege get the jump on him.
Water rushed over his legs and froze him in place.
“Very good! But didn’t you notice the chill in the air? I’m something of an ice mage myself.”
Danny began to manipulate the ice to break out rather than faze through it, taking note of Artemis aiming an arrow at his chest.
She had a clear shot but Danny couldn’t wait for her to take it without being obvious. So he turned his attention to the heavy hitters. Star and Supes.
Robin felt like he was a puppy being shown the pair of shoes he just chewed up. If he could have face palmed at Superboy’s hotheaded decision to jump right into battle he would have. He cringed as poor Wally was taken out by the kryptonian turned projectile. Star looked as if she didn’t know what to do or when to jump in. It seemed she wouldn’t have to wonder much longer.
Robin watched as the villain launched towards her hurling orbs of energy at her as he complained.
“Ugh green. You’re all green.” He said as he turned to grab a hurtling superboy by the face this time and throwing him into the path of the freshly recovered kid flash again.
“Have a nice trip.”
He looked so very bored as he quipped, dodging Star’s attempts to return fire.
Okay Danny was actually getting tired. He heard an arrow fire. Finally. He caught it and looked smugly at the archer. It exploded with containment foam. Clever.
“Oh this is embarrassing. Being caught by baby heroes who look like they’ve got midterms tomorrow!” He said as the foam solidified. He continued to prattle on about this, that and the other, taking note of the distinct looks of annoyance on each teen’s face. He was about to hint at the whereabouts of their missing teammate but once again Superboy told him to shut up as he tried to punch his lights out. Oh! That was a bad idea. Danny decided to play along, rolling his face with the punch so the kid wouldn’t hurt his hand.
Robin looked hopeful as he watched his teammates render their attacker unconscious. Until his face fell. Ice was creeping up the mass of foam and he couldn’t warn his team. He desperately promised the universe that was never gonna take coms for granted again if his team made it out of this.
The foam exploded into shards that turned into restraints that stuck his teammates to the walls.
“Gosh I was kidding. You really thought you won? Cute.” He checked his phone, and gasped nearly dropping it. “Oh my cookies are almost done baking! I’ve gotta jet! Your restraints will melt in two hours and your little bird is upstairs enjoying the show. Buh bye!” He blew some green powder into Superboy’s face knocking him out before he could break out and disappeared.
Great. He has kryptonite. Fantastic.
After such a thorough embarrassment the group of teens skulked their way back to the nearest zeta station, beaming back to their base.
“I think this is the worst mission we’ve done man!” Wally complained as he limped off the zeta beam platform.
Kon and Aqualad just squinted, obviously wanting him to shut up.
“What? I can’t say we were ass today? We were! I twisted my ankle on your face Superboy. That’s pretty bad.”
“Robin.”
That shut Wally up real quick.
“Report.” Batman said as the team shuffled into base in various states of disarray.
Robin’s team was lined up behind him just as embarrassed as he was. Robin was beet red as began.
“Our mission did not go as planned.”
Part one
Next part
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fuckincrow · 2 years ago
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Olfactophilia
summary: You're dating Homelander and he's horny for your scent, pretty much porn without plot. AFAB reader, gender neutral.
warnings: homelander is a warning on his own, dubcon, scent kink, somnophilia, homelander is a pervert, dry humping, oral (fem receiving), established relationship, canon homelander behaviour
â”ˆâ”ˆâ”ˆâ”ˆâ”ˆâ—Šâ€ąâœ©â€ąâ—Šâ”ˆâ”ˆâ”ˆâ”ˆâ”ˆ
Homelander was not a good partner. One could hardly call him a boyfriend, whatever your endeavor with him was did not seem like a normal relationship. It was scary, you were scared of him, knowing he was at the verge of a homicidal tantrum on most days. And despite this, the only times you had witnessed his anger had been directed at others. A fellow supe, an unlucky intern, maybe Ashley. Mostly Ashley, you always thought that woman deserved a raise. But his feelings toward you were... different. It wasn't a normal kind of love, more of a dependency. You saw it in his eyes whenever you touched him, that slight shift of expression, the way his muscles tensed up and his breathing became ever so slightly faster. Maybe that was part of the allure, the fact you could render this monster useless with a few caresses and honeyed words. As long as he didn't realise how weak he actually was for you, you'd be fine.
You never liked sleeping in his penthouse, it was too much. The American memorabilia was almost comical, although you'd never commented on it, knowing it would probably upset him. It was hard to get in the mood when you felt George Washington staring at you, but Homelander's passion proved enough distraction. The sole reason you were in his bed was because he'd been extra needy lately, eventually you got tired of him showing up at your house unannounced, so you simply caved and temporarily moved to the Tower.
As you try to get some rest, you feel a cool breeze hit the back of your neck, followed by the silent pitter patter of his feet against the carpet, like a cat sneaking back home. He always took the window, he thought he was being stealthy when he flied in, but he always managed to wake you. Sometimes you wondered if he did it on purpose. The next thing you feel was the warmth of his body against your back, the padded suit kind of uncomfortable against whatever skin your pyjamas left exposed, it was like he was glued to that thing. In fact, you had only seen him fully naked once or twice. Since you don't hear any greeting, you assume he thinks you're asleep, and so you did just that; go back to sleep.
â˜…ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»â˜… ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»â˜… ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»ăƒ»â˜…
You were so close, too close. He never could get enough of it. Homelander moves to rest his nose against your neck, sniffing your skin. You hadn't showered tonight, just how he liked it. His enhanced senses only made him get a bigger enjoyment out of your natural musk, specially in the summer, when sweat built up under your armpits, under your breasts, the bases of your feet. "(Name)?" He calls out in a soft voice, testing the waters. No answer. After a few moments, he slowly removes his gloves, carefully placing them on the night table. His hand sneaks on top of your waist, a fairly normal gesture, but it slowly travels upward. His fingers travel over your armpit, collecting some sweat. For a moment he just stares at his two fingers, his breathing growing a little heavier just from the knowledge of what he's done. Not out of shame, you're his to do whatever he wants with after all, but the fact this scent he loves so much now coated his own skin. Homelander brings the two digits to his nose, taking a good, long sniff, and breathing out in pleasure. He could already feel the bulge straining against his suit, painfully uncomfortable. "Fuck..." He muttered, now fully pressing his crotch against the curve of your ass, his face buried in your neck like he was trying to inhale every last pheromone you exuded, his hips pathetically humping you from behind. He couldn't care less if you woke up right now, surprisingly self aware of how messed up he was for grinding against you like a dog, but he couldn't stop. Your smell drove him insane. It was your fault for laying in his bed like that, without having showered.
Nearly two minutes of this went on before you stopped pretending to sleep. You had caught onto every little move, it wasn't like you were going to stop him. If he was going to get off on your sweat so be it, you wouldn't be the one to risk one of his temper tantrums against you. What you didn't like was how close he was to your core, inevitably making you wet from the friction, which slowly got quicker as his huffs got louder.
"John."
The mention of his name, his real name, made his blood run cold. Homelander stopped completely, as if stopping his movement now would somehow make you forget what had been going on since he arrived. You turned around to look at him, his face was equally flustered and shameless. You knew him enough that his embarrassment didn't come from a place of morals or a general idea of consent, it was purely because you saw him as he was; needy. Human.
You slowly shift to face him properly, his lips are slightly parted as he looks at you with puppy dog eyes, if you didn't know any better you could've said he was being gentle. Your hand rakes through his blond curls and he nearly melts at the action, his breath briefly hitching when you tug down on them. The action is a command, one he understands immediately, and without the need for words he removes the sheets from your body and lowers your pyjama bottoms along with your underwear down to your ankles, his eagerness practically tears them apart (it wouldn't be the first time).
Homelander lived for moments like this one, the sight of your cunt in front of his face, the smell of your wetness invading his nostrils. For a moment he's left a little starstruck, running his fingers slickly up your hole, letting your fluid act as lubricant as he caresses your clit. The contact earns a little whimper from you, the sound making his stomach flip. He would've teased you for it, but he's not a patient man, and the moment he hears that little sound he's pressing his entire face against your mound, the death grip on your thighs keeping you fully spread. His tongue is fast, his nose hitting your clit whenever he moves, and slowly but surely your breaths become pants, whimpers and moans falling from your lips and only making him more eager. He doesn't bother hiding how he's rutting against the mattress, you believe he's doing it purely out of instinct. Your hips buck forward chasing friction, and a muffled groan from him sends perfect vibration up your core, tugging his hair in response.
You've orgasmed a few times and you're ready to ask him to stop now that you're satisfied when you hear a crack in his voice, followed by a long, drawn out moan and a shaky breath that follows suit. Your mind still a little foggy from the climax, you sit up to look at him. "John?" He simply looks up at you, panting a little, a warm and wet spot between his thighs. It takes you a moment to register the fact he's creamed his pants just from eating you out, and if you weren't this exhausted the thought alone would be enough to rile you up for round two.
"You're welcome." You say with a little grin, chuckling as he practically collapses against your chest, burying himself between your breasts and merely humming in response. Next time he'll just wake you.
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dismalflo · 19 days ago
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In love with your writing and was hoping to send a request! For any of the marauders x fem!reader, my idea was an artsy reader where she is having a little art show at a local cafe and invites all the marauders and the extended friend group, including their one they’re interested in but no one shows up because they all got the date mixed up and she’s heartbroken. But they all figure it out last minute and show up as she’s taking it down. Proceed to there somehow being a love confession from the marauder she’s in love with somehow lol.
I hope this makes sense!!
thanks for requesting lovely, love this request <3
Remus Lupin x reader who takes part in their first art show ✩ 2k words
cw: hurt/comfort
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Months of hard work. Months of stress, frustration, and aching wrists have all led to this moment. It should feel gratifying – you should feel proud, happy, fulfilled – but every good emotion is drowned out by disappointment.
Not one of your friends had shown up to your first art show. Maybe it was silly to expect everyone to come, you’re all adults with busy and complicated lives but you’d told them all when it was with plenty of notice to try to combat that issue. Maybe they just don’t care and this is how they’ve decided to tell you. They wouldn't be that cruel, you think, letting you ramble on for weeks about it, pretending to be thrilled for you.
You thought, hoped, Remus would be different. He asked questions, listened, encouraged you every step of the way. And still, he’s not here.
You’re trying desperately to put on a brave face. Putting on a smile when people wander past looking at your work, making small talk about the pieces, trying not to look towards the door in hopes of seeing a familiar face. Your bed and good cry are calling your name.
“Is this one yours?”
The voice is soft, but it cuts clean through your downward spiral, startling you slightly. You blink and look up, forcing the corners of your mouth into a polite smile. A woman stands in front of you, maybe a few years older than you are, wrapped in a caramel coloured coat. She’s pointing at the oil painting nearest her.
You nod. “Yeah. That’s mine.”
The woman tilts her head slightly, considering the painting with curiosity. It’s a library – tall shelves heavy with books rendered in thick, careful brushstrokes, the colour palette warm and golden, sun slicing through high windows. In the center, at a crooked wooden table, a man sits. He’s reading, unaware of the world. His face is half-obscured by the way the light cuts across it, but you know every line by heart. You painted it from memory.
The woman smiles. “It’s beautiful. You’re very talented.”
“Thank you,” you say, meaning it, but the words still feel hollow, swallowed up by the lump in your throat. You try to smile again, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
The woman seems to pick up on it, but she just gives a small nod, offers one last glance at the painting, and moves along.
You stay planted there for a little while longer. People drift past, admiring, chatting, sipping plastic cups of cheap red wine. You answer questions, make a few polite jokes, accept a couple of compliments with increasingly thin smiles. You pretend not to notice how everyone’s come with someone. A partner, a friend, a sibling. You pretend not to keep glancing toward the door.
Eventually, the flow of the crowd slows to a trickle, then stops altogether.
You let out a long breath and turn to face your work. All these pieces you poured yourself into – weeks of layering and scraping and starting over and painting through wrist cramps, through tears. You should be proud. That’s what they all say. You should be proud.
Instead, you just feel tired.
You lift your hand, touching the corner of the library painting, fingertips brushing over the dried texture of the canvas. His shoulders, his posture, the book in his hands. Remus. Even if no one else sees it, you know it’s him. You wonder if he’d even recognise himself. Probably not. He’d been so curious when you’d been painting it, always asking questions. Always kind. Always present.
You sigh, soft and defeated, and reach up to unhook the canvas from the wall.
Just as your fingers begin to lift the piece, the door bursts open. A flurry of familiar voices cuts through the quiet gallery like a sudden gust of wind.
“We’re so sorry! We got the date mixed up!” “God, we feel terrible–” “We were all talking about it, and somehow it just didn’t click.”
James, Lily, Sirius, and – there, right behind them – Remus, all rush in together, their faces flushed and apologetic. James’s usual easy confidence is replaced by something unsteady, Lily’s bright smile faltering a little, and Sirius looks like he’s ready to kick himself.
You freeze. Your throat tightens. It’s so sudden, so overwhelming.
They close the distance quickly. Lily steps forward first, her arms opening wide. Without thinking, you let yourself be pulled into her hug. James and Sirius follow suit, each of them offering warm, steady embraces.
“I’m really sorry,” James says, voice low and earnest. “We didn’t mean to miss it. We wanted to be here so badly.”
“We’re so proud of you,” Lily adds softly. “All of us.”
You want to cry – want to let the tears spill freely, but you force yourself to take a shaky breath instead. “It’s
 it’s okay,” you manage, voice barely above a whisper. “I understand. These things happen.”
They all pull back slowly, relief mingling in their eyes.
James and Sirius wander off to look at your paintings, their chatter soft, as they take in each brushstroke. Lily follows, her fingers lightly tracing the edge of a canvas as she studies the colours.
Remus, however, doesn’t move. He stays rooted beside you, eyes fixed on your face.
You stare straight ahead, unable to meet his gaze. It hurts more than you want to admit, the fact he wasn’t here. That he missed this moment. It feels unfair and silly all at once.
Finally, his voice breaks the silence, soft and trembling. “I’m so sorry, dove.”
You blink hard and swallow against the knot in your throat, wiping beneath one eye quickly with the back of your hand.
“It’s fine,” you mumble, forcing a shrug. “Don’t worry about it.”
He hesitates, silence stretching out between you. Then you see, out of the corner of your eye, the slow rise of his hand – reaching out, pausing midair just above your shoulder.
But he stops himself. Letting his hand fall.
“No,” he says quietly. Firmer this time. “It’s not. Of course it’s not fine.”
You don’t answer. You can’t. Your jaw is locked tight, teeth pressed together, holding in everything threatening to spill out.
So he turns instead, stepping a little closer to the painting still dangling slightly askew on the wall. The library. Your library. His library.
He gazes at it for a long time, longer than anyone else did, long enough that you start to fidget, your pulse tapping a nervous rhythm against your ribs. He tilts his head just slightly, the way you’ve seen him do when he reads, when he’s concentrating so hard he forgets to blink.
“That one’s my favourite,” he says finally.
You’re not sure you were supposed to hear it. It’s almost a whisper. But you do.
Your lips part. You stare at the canvas, the gold-cut shadows, the sunlight on wood grain and worn spines. His silhouette, bent over a book. A world you created from memory. For him.
“It’s my favourite too,” you say, and your voice cracks just a little. You force a breath in, steadying yourself, then add, quietly, “It’s you.”
Remus turns to look at you.
His eyes, warm and amber, widen just slightly. You can see the way your words knock the air  out of him. You glance up at him only for a moment before your gaze drops again. Your hands fidget at your sides, unsure of what to do now.
You half-expect him to say something clever, to make a gentle joke, brush it off.
But he doesn’t.
He steps forward, slowly, like he’s afraid to spook you.
“It’s me,” he repeats, voice quiet. He nods, just once. “I thought it might be. The first time you mentioned you were painting a library, I wondered
”
He trails off. You’re still not looking at him, heart pounding so loudly it drowns out the rest of the room. He inches closer again.
“I should’ve been here,” he murmurs. “I wanted to be. More than anything. I thought about it all week. Wrote it on the wrong day in my fucking calendar and didn’t even realise until Sirius texted in a panic ten minutes ago. I should’ve known. You’ve been talking about this for weeks.”
You shake your head, eyes hot. “It’s not your job to remember things like that for me.”
“It is when I care,” he says, and that finally makes you look at him.
His face is so open. Unapologetic. Not soft and tiptoeing around your feelings, but ardent and sure. “I care. About you. About everything you do. I hate that I made you feel alone tonight.”
You try to speak, but nothing comes out. He notices – of course he does – and gently continues.
“That painting’s my favourite because when I look at it, I don’t just see myself. I see the way you see me. You see things so beautifully, even when they don’t deserve to be seen that way.”
You don’t realise you’ve started crying until he reaches up, this time not hesitating, and brushes your cheek with the backs of his fingers.
“I think I’m in love with you,” he says, so simply it knocks the floor out from under you.
You blink at him. “Remus.”
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I’ll get over myself I’m sure and–”
You shake your head, fast, before he can finish.
“Don’t,” you say, the word catching halfway out of your mouth. “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend I painted you like that because I don’t love you.”
Remus freezes. His hand is still resting against your cheek. You can feel the warmth of it, the steadiness of him, and you can’t believe it took you this long to say it. To show it, maybe. Every hour bent over a canvas, every glance across a cafe table, every stolen moment you tucked away and pressed into brushstrokes.
He breathes out, a little disbelieving laugh, eyes going soft at the edges. “You do?”
You nod, slow but sure. “I do. I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”
His smile blooms, tentative at first, then wider, brighter, as if every worry is melting off of him. His hand slides from your cheek to cup your face, thumb brushing your skin gently.
“I should’ve told you sooner,” he whispers, voice thick with awe.
You close the small distance between you, breath mingling. 
His eyes search yours, asking, needing, and you answer without words. Your lips part, trembling slightly, and then you lean in, the warmth of his hand steadying you as your lips brush together in a tentative, gentle kiss.
It’s soft and slow, full of everything. The ache, the hope, the quiet joy of being seen and loved for exactly who you are. You wrap your arms around his neck, and he pulls you closer, fingers threading into your hair as if to make sure you’re real.
When you finally part, your foreheads rest against each other, breaths mingling, and you smile, a real, full smile that reaches your eyes and creases them in the corner. It’s lovely and–
James makes a loud, exaggerated coughing sound making you both pull away from each other. 
“Hate to break up whatever’s happening over here, but someone needs to explain to me how you made that one” –he points to a painting with bold, bright colours and abstract shapes–“and also made that one.” He gestures to the quiet, sun-drenched library piece. “It’s fucking mental.”
You laugh – really laugh – for the first time all night, and Remus’s hand slips into yours. Firm and warm.
Lily turns from another painting, smiling. “We’re taking you out, by the way. You don’t get to argue. Drinks are on us.”
You glance around the gallery. Your work. Your friends. Your heart finally steady. Then back to Remus, who’s still watching you like he can’t quite believe anything that’s happened.
“Okay,” you say softly. “Let’s go.” masterlist <3
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whimsytwines · 1 month ago
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Static Waves
Note: this is my first fic in a really long time!! I thought we needed some more sensitive Leon fics. Lmk if you want more <3 I’m open to requests!
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, 18+
re4 Leon x fem agent reader
Oral (m receiving), tit play, fingering, creampie, vulnerable Leon :p
All agents: Report to headquarters, conference room C ASAP”
The call had come in at 2:17 am. Of course it had. Going back to the office at this hour was anything but appealing- especially after the brief week spent at home.
Sterile fluorescent lights of the office made your tired eyes squint. The big gulp style cup of gas station coffee had barely made a dent in your exhaustion. It was tiring- this job, the people, the missions. When you weren’t away, you were just going through the motions at home. The dishes piled up, as did the laundry, and things were just
mundane. You had gotten used to be away, no matter how much you craved home.
You sighed as you entered the conference room, choosing a seat closest to the door and letting your backpack slump into the floor.
“They woke you up too, huh?” A familiar voice said from a set across from you.
You hadn’t even noticed him in your sleepy slumber. Kennedy. You’d been on countless missions together, worked closely as colleagues, and often got paired up together. Still- he seemed so far away.
You had always seemed drawn to his rugged demeanor, which was carefully juxtaposed with his boyish charm. You felt like a school girl around him with an aching crush, careful to never let your guard down.
You shrugged, almost taken aback by his casual tone. “Yeah, unfortunately,” you shifted in your seat a little, turning your body towards him. “I’m surprised they called you back, especially after you being in Spain. You ought to be tired.”
“Mm,” Leon responded with a simple nod- one of acknowledgment at least. You watched as his eyes trailed away, leaving your gaze. As much as you tried to play it cool and unaffected, you so deeply wished for him to notice you more. You craved to crack him open and see just what he was without the “special agent” persona he embodied so well.
*
Leon tapped his foot and kept his head down as more and more agents sleepily piled into the room. The aroma of coffee crept through the air, inspiring his own alertness.
The conference was brief, but urgent. A newer, more aggressive strain of the T-virus had completely ravaged North Argentina. Seeing the satellite imagery showing the growing patterns of movement made your eyes go wide.
“Any questions?” The director asked. “Be quick. We’re headed out in half an hour.”
Leon kept careful eyes on you as you and the director discussed the rate of movement and where the virus was projected to hit. There was something about you, just watching you, that made his heart seem to pound in his chest. A couple times, you would look over to him, extending an offer to join in the discussion. After all, he had the most field experience in the room. But you didn’t know you could render him speechless with just your eyes.
Closing the discussion, the director gave you a pat on the shoulder before quickly recoiling. You had sustained a harsh injury on your last mission right before you had some home. “Sorry about that, Agent, I just wanted to remind you that you will be paired with Kennedy in Argentina. When you land, you will be escorted to your safe house and given further directions. Due to safety concerns, you two will be bunking together.” The director turned his gaze to Leon, who again, nodded followed by a yes sir. You couldn’t help but notice the slight curve of his smile before you looked away.
“I’m sure this will be no issue for our two top agents, you’ve worked together plenty.” The director concluded, before going around to the others and inform them of their bunking accommodations.
*
After landing and feeling more tired and delirious, you and Leon begrudgingly found your ride in the terminal. It was small, cramped car sticky with humidity. As much as you had dreaded this mission and what it entailed, you silently reveled in the excitement of being able to stay with Leon for the foreseeable future.
You both sat in the back seat, one small space between you. No matter how many missions, how many near-death experiences, no matter how many restless nights away from home- together- there was always some empty space between you.
When you finally arrived at the nondescript safe house outside of the city, Leon unloaded the “luggage” which was really just the two backpacks each of you brought, tipped the driver, and made his way to stand next to you.
The house was small, covered in vines, and had only a single dirt road leading to any sort of civilization. Before entering, you and Leon did some general safety checks, scanning the remaining exterior of the house, looking for any signs of forced entry.
“Looks good to me,” you said, wiping sweat off your forehead. “Can we go in now? I’m exhausted.”
Leon chucked, “I suppose, little miss impatient.” It looked as though he had finally smiled, perhaps revealing some more personally outside of professionalism.
Inside, the house was serviceable. It had a small kitchenette, a “living room” if you could even call it that, and a bathroom attached to the bedroom. You poked around the small house looking for a second bedroom, opening and closing small linen closet doors.
“I think there’s only one bed,” you sighed, pushing a closet door shut. “I can take the couch.”
As you made your way to the small sofa, Leon followed your steps, considering to touch your arm- but resisted the inclination. “Not with that shoulder of yours. Hunnigan told me about your injury on your last mission. You take the bed, I’ll take the couch.”
“Leon,” you protested, “the couch is practically child sized. It’s really no issue for me to sleep there. I just want to sleep.”
Leon thought for a moment, pacing around in small circle, thumb and index finger returning to its thinking position. His heavy foot steps had a rhythmic beat to them, practically putting you to sleep right then.
“You know what,” Leon said, his thumb returning to his chin, “we’re both adults here. We got paired up together for this mission. We can share a bed- like adults.”
You sighed, and nodded in agreement. You supposed he was right after all. This was by all accounts a business trip, you two were adults, and you had to make do with what you had. No matter how much you were satisfied with the outcome of the one-bed scenario, you couldn’t help but recognize how weird it felt. Sharing a bed with a longtime colleague who barely spoke a word to you outside work related matters.
“You unpack,” Leon directed, “I’ll see what rations they left us. Hopefully something good this time, I only got saltines in Spain.”
Unloading what little was in your backpack, you heard Leon rustling around in the kitchenette. Poking your head out, you saw him preparing two plates of peanut butter and crackers. How thoughtful, you chucked to yourself.
Not much was said for the rest of the evening. You two sat at the small table side by side, eating the “dinner” prepared by your colleague. Once, Leon’s knee brushed against yours, and you didn’t pull away. Neither did he.
*
When it came time to rest, you both laid as far apart as the bed would allow. You snuggled against the thin sheet for some sort of comfort, despite how hot it was in the house. Looking over to Leon, he did the same. Your mind began to wander, as you looked at his bicep prodding out from beneath his tight black t-shirt. He had always looked so handsome- so beautiful even. You felt safe having him there with you, in the middle of nowhere with a raging virus.
Leon could feel your eyes on him. It made him restless- unbearably restless. What he didn’t want to admit was that he didn’t offer to take the couch on the basis of professionalism or chivalry. He was afraid of this, feeling those foreign romantic feelings pop again. He was afraid of scaring you away if he said, or did, anything to cross the professional line.
Leon rolled over towards you, seeing your tired eyes still looking his way. You couldn’t help but smile a little.
“Can’t sleep either?” He said, his voice taking a huskier tone than usual.
You shook your head. “No, I guess all my complaining about being tired earlier was pointless.”
Leon chucked, then cleared his throat. “You ever wonder why we do this job? We see the worst there is out there, and just clean up the mess.”
“I mean
.” You trailed off, taken aback by his question. Certainly there was more on his mind. “I guess somebody has to do it, and maybe we’re just good at what we do. You are, no doubt.”
There was a sort of caring infliction in your voice and he desperately craved more. You watched as Leon shifted again, resting on his forearm with his gaze on you.
“I’m sorry you know, for keeping my distance,” he said abruptly “from you, on these missions.”
There it was- that crack you were looking for. This was not Leon S. Kennedy the agent talking to you anymore, it was just him.
You reached out a hand to place on his, recoiling at first, then giving in. His big hands were rough and calloused, tensing at first, then easing up when he felt your touch.
“Professional boundaries are important,” you sighed, gently letting your hand fall away from his.
“That’s what I tell myself,” Leon said just above a whisper. “But that’s not why, and I think you know it.”
You watched as his eyes darkened and the air began to feel charged.
“I’m afraid of disappointing you,” he continued, continuing to lock eyes with you. “To everyone else, I’m the legend- the hero who survived Raccoon city. You see more than that, you see the flaws when we’re on these missions.”
His unraveling of emotions caused your throat to tighten. “Leon,“ you began, but Leon continued to break right before your eyes.
“I’ve lost so many people,” he sighed, this time looking away, as if to remember each face in his mind’s eye. “And
every time we’re back out in the field together, I’m afraid it will be you who I lose. I can’t fail you.”
You reached for him again, this time his stubbled cheek. Leon sunk into the gentle touch, cupping his rough hand on yours.
“Leon,” you smiled. “You won’t fail me, even if you tried.”
Leon’s eyes stayed on you as he turned to press his lips into your palm.
“I can’t keep pretending,” he confessed through breathless feather light kisses. “That you’re just my partner on missions. That I don’t think about you when we’re not on them-“
Before he could finish, you boldly but softly leaned in to fill the gap. That space, that had been there for so long, begging to filled.
His lips were soft and plush, his movements longing as he let go of so much careful restraint. He gently wrapped one arm around your waist, trailing his lips down to your hurt shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, gently pressing his lips into your skin. “I’m sorry you got hurt.”
“Leon,” you said breathlessly. He looked up to you, a burning desire so clear in his eyes. “Once we cross this line
or, do you want to cross it? What if someone finds out?”
Placing one more kiss on your shoulder, he confessed, “I’ve thought about this- about you- for so long. Please, let me take this chance.”
“Why don’t you tell me about it?” You smiled a cheeky grin, pulling the tank top you were wearing over your head.
For a moment, Leon turned bashful. He reached his hand out hesitantly to cup your breast, but recoiled. “I’m not good at this part,” he admitted. “The words, I mean.”
You gently pushed Leon back, straddling him, then rolling up his shirt. Leaning close, you whispered, “then why don’t you show me.”
His bare skin prickled and tensed at your touch, years of vigilance making even his vulnerability an exercise in control. Your hands explored his toned abdomen, feeling over countless rough scars you needed no explanation for. The jagged line that scaled his ribs- a testament to his bravery stepping in between you and the danger only a few missions ago.
With each move of your fingers, his composure fell more and more. He was unraveling in front of you- a sight you never believed you would see. Finally, you know who Leon Kennedy is stripped all his armour.
As Leon watches you tend to his age old wounds as you caressed his skin, he gently took your hand and guided it to his belt.
“Is- is this okay?” He stammered, a red blush spreading across his cheeks.
Undoing the buckle and zipper, you could feel the hard budge beneath. You shimmied his pants off, revealing a well endowed, thick cock.
You blushed at the sight. “I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this the whole time,” you said, attempting humor would ease your nerves.
Leon smiled, biting his lip. “Never seemed relevant to the mission.”
As your hands wrapped around him, he inhaled sharply and threw his head back. He had waited so long for this- for you.
You lowered yourself down and brushed your lips against the sensitive, dripping head. He already tasted so good.
Leon placed a hand in your hair and his body went rigid as you bobbed your head up and down. He couldn’t help but throw his head back and let out an unrestrained moan if your name.
“I- this feels
keep going,” he gasped in broken sentences. The man who always remained composed, who always had a witty comeback, who never cracked, was now reduced to broken fragments of jumbled phrases and ragged breathing.
You could feel his thighs tighten, his cock twitching deep in your mouth. You moan as you continue to go up and down, swirling your mouth around his head, until you feel his finger move to your chin.
“Not yet,” he gasped, trying to find his own words. “I want this to last.”
He swiftly switched positions, placing you below him. Leon needed more- needed to see you become the one undone. His hands crept down your stomach, pausing before the waistband of your sleep shorts.
“M-may I?” He asked, using his other hand to cup the side of your face.
All you could do was nod. As he took of your shorts with the same precision as he did with anything else, he reassured you that he had you, that he would make you feel so good.
Leon’s breath quickened as he felt along your wet lace panties. “So pretty
” he practically whimpered, circling your clit.
You closed your eyes as you felt one of his thick fingers enter you, your walks begging for more. Once he found a rhythm, he entered another finger, which elicited a lustful Leon! from your mouth.
“Just tell me if anything is too much baby,” Leon said, still pumping his fingers until you found your release.
You nodded, “need more
need you..”
Leon watched as you rode out your orgasm on his fingers. With his other hand, he stroked your face, murmuring sweet nothings. You met his lips again, this time much more fiercely.
He shifted his body again, this time still on top of you, but aiming for your entrance.
Your gaze fell on his eyes first, so stricken with raw emotion and lust. They traveled down to his cock, now only mere inches away from being inside you.
“I need you,” he reassured, pressing the tip in. You gasped. He felt so big, so thick.
Leon’s movements were careful at first, allowing you to adjust to his size. He told you if it hurt, to tell him. He told you how good you felt inside, how he had dreamt of this. I’ve got you, he moaned in jagged breaths. I’ve always got you.
Leaning down to your bouncing breasts, Leon flicked his tongue along a sensitive bud. He sucked gently as he pressed himself into you. “You’re so beautiful
” he babbled in between suckles. You buried your hands in his hair, pulling him closer, never wanting to let go.
As his thrusts deepened and quickened, Leon let go of your breast with a pop. Pushing himself up, he placed your ankles around his neck, he bottomed out in the depth. You were truly drunk on his cock, rolling your head back, screaming his name like a prayer.
“My god,” Leon gasped, feeling you tighten around him. He was becoming more desperate- and couldn’t hold on for much longer. “I-I’m close.”
“I need to feel you,” you moaned. “All of you.”
Without losing pace, Leon gazed longingly at you. He knew by all accounts this was wrong- hearing his name echo in the room from your breathless moaning. He knew if anyone were to found out, his reputation was tarnished.
As you continued to squeeze around him in fluttering clenches, he released ropes thick come into you. Now it was your name being repeated in awe, in drunkenness, as Leon continued to press into you- now softly.
Small beads of sweat dripped from his forehead, as he slowly released himself from you.
*
As you two boarded the flight home, Leon kept his hand in the small of your back- attempting to maintain some professionalism why still ensuring a point of connection.
“They expect a debrief an hour after we land,” you sighed, clasping the seatbelt tight.
Leon seemed solemn on the outside, and inside, he was melting entirely as he was overcome with worry of where things would go when they got back home.
“Can we talk about this- about us?” He said, a slight quiver in his voice, dropping an octave as he said the latter.
You gave his hand a quick squeeze, “later, I promise.”
When you returned to headquarters, the conversation of the virus and mission dominated the room. Things went well, the virus contained more or less, and little to no injuries were sustained. Leon exchanged glances with you every so often, as if he missed you from just across the room.
You and Leon agreed to keep in contact consistently when you weren’t on missions, making time to call when you could with such a demanding schedule. But just like that, not even intentionally, you two were back to your separate orbits.
Texting and calling became less frequent as the work piled up, as lives were lived separately.
A week after coming home from Argentina, you collapsed onto your bed after a long day of meetings and trainings. The bed was cold and empty- hollow without Leon filling the void. Snapping you out of your sordid memory of the trip you last shared with him, your phone buzzed.
SMS Leon K.: Just landed in Brussels. Virus is here too. Talk soon.
Before you could respond, a second one came though.
SMS Leon K.: I miss you.
All you could do was stare at the screen, in any attempt to feel his presence from phone. Warm tears flooded your eyes, as a silent sob crept from your chest. You looked to the ceiling, god I miss you too.
You texted back fast, Be safe, I miss you too. Request me to be your partner on the next one haha.
SMS Leon K.: Already did :)
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certifiedcodbabygirl · 1 year ago
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Baby's first fever
Simon Riley x Reader w/ daughter (Lizzy)
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(Photo credit to @ave661, go check her renders out, they're really good)
Parenthood is a terrifying experience, especially as first time parent. Even with preparation, all the books, and a loving husband. Lizzy had been sniffly the night before, but not too terribly. Nothing of concern though.
So imagine your surprise when you go to check on your 6 month old in the morning and you feel her head is hot.
"Ohh no no no baby" You say, panicked as you gently pick her up. Her little whimpers practically break your heart as you take her to your shared with Simon. You push the door open and see that Simon is already getting dressed, pulling his shirt off.
"Si she's sick, like really sick" You say, trying to not cry, anxiety rising. Fevers as an adult or even as a teenager are easier to fight off but as a baby? It truly is cause for concern.
He holds his arms out to hold Lizzy and puts the back of his hand to her forehead, frowning at the warmness. He gently swipes his thumb on her cheek and kisses her forehead.
"You not feelin good, sweetheart?" He asks her, "come on, let's get ya some medicine, hm?"
He leans over and kisses you on the forehead, "C'mon mama"
He walks to the bathroom, with you short behind, and opens the medicine. He hands Lizzy off to you, and opens the medicine cabinet.
"Glad we got this, huh?" He smiles slightly, opening the bottle of kid's ibuprofen. He Snaps one of the little tablets in half shows the little piece to Lizzy, smiling at her.
"Open up, love" he says softly, "Gonna make ya feel better"
He gently parts her lips and puts the small tablet on her tongue. She immediately starts to suck on the tablet, nose slightly scrunching from the weird tastes. He runs his fingers through her soft curls, kissing her head. He notices you trying to keep calm, your lip twitching slightly and obviously keeping back tears.
"She'll be okay, just a lil sick, ya?", He tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses you, "C'mon, lets give her a bath"
He sits you down on the toilet while he runs an slightly cooler bath so that she doesn't go into shock. While he runs the bath, you look down at Lizzy. Her face is a little red and her nose is runny. Your eyes well up in tears. Logically you know she'll be okay, but she's so little.
You never thought a baby with Simon would/ could happen, yet here she was. Brown curls, big brown eyes just like her dad's, a shining reflection of the man you love. Nothing prepared you for the overwhelming love you felt when you first held her. The click of motherhood that you instantly had when her skin touched yours causing you to cry. Your sweet girl.
You snap out your thoughts as you hear Simon call for you.
"Hm?" you say half mindedly, looking up at him.
"Bath's ready"
You hum in acknowledgement, standing up and setting her down on the counter, undressing her. You check the water temperature, and gently set her in the baby bath basket you got for her. She splashes a little, feeling cold in the room temperature water due to her fever. She whimper and fusses and you sniffle again.
"I know baby, I know", you coo at her, "You'll be okay, my love. Just gotta get you clean, yeah?"
The bath goes smoothly (with a few tears let's be honest). You pass her off to Simon as you go off to get her crib sheets and blankets changed out and pick out her outfit. Simon walks in with her in her little towel and a fresh diaper. You help change her into her clothes and go to the kitchen to make her a half bottle of warm formula.
You grab the bottle and head towards the nursery but notice he's laying on the couch with Lizzy on his chest. Standing in the doorway, you can see how tired they both are, Lizzy sick and Simon, well, REASONS 👀. You go back to the kitchen and put the bottle into the fridge for later. You gently tiptoe into the living room so you don't wake them up, and cuddle up to Simon's arms.
You check Lizzy's breathing and forehead temperature before allowing yourself to relax into him. His arm pulls you into him as he kisses your forehead.
"She's gonna be okay, baby. L'ts get some rest"
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adragonprinceswhore · 1 year ago
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The Commune
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Cult Leader!Aemond x Niece!Reader
Summary: A modern AU where Aemond, power-hungry and high on hubris, is the leader of a commune with a peculiar affection for the Seven.
Warnings: 18+, dark themes (mind the tags!), AFAB reader, depictions of depression, manipulation, coercion, dubcon/noncon, targcest (no description of appearance), fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving), facefucking, humiliation, (noncon) spanking, semi-public sex, P in V, breeding kink
Word Count: 19k
A/N: I've wanted to edit this for a while and finally got around to it! It took all week đŸ«  I definitely feel like the fic got a face-lift! Enjoy ✹
Leaving
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Your heart is beating fast and hard when you wake up.
The shrill sound of your alarm clock does little to ease your tense state, abruptly ruining the quiet calm that had previously occupied your bedroom. Without fully opening your eyes, you reach for its usual spot on the nightstand and press snooze, hoping for a little more serenity before you have to get up and face yet another insufferable day at work.
How could such a dull job cause you so much stress?
Why did it make you wake up each night with a heavy swirl of dread and anxiety tightening in your chest, rendering you unable to fall back asleep?
You’ve never been this tired before, yet you’ve never found sleep harder to obtain.
With a sigh you push yourself out of the warm comfort of your bed. It is so soft and smells like home; laundry detergent and the scented candle you keep on the nightstand.
The forced separation almost makes you cry as your body shivers in your chill bedroom.
Each day as heavy to bear as the next.
You grab the robe you have hanging on the back of the bedroom door and head for the kitchen with slow, heavy steps; dragging your feet behind you.
When had life turned so monotone?
When was the last time you truly enjoyed yourself without thinking about work?
Why did you find yourself in an existential crisis before you’d even had your morning coffee?
You load the small coffee maker, pull out a carton of yoghurt and dump some into a bowl before reaching for the packet of granola standing on top of your fridge.
You grab a mug, pour some coffee into it, and shake up your oat milk before adding a splash.
Same fucking breakfast each day.
Moving to the living room, you curl into yourself on your sofa, turning on the same morning show you always watch as you sip your coffee and feel a tiny bit of relief at the comfort that the warm liquid offers as it slides down your throat.
The unnaturally cheery hosts on TV are in the middle of some segment about reusing egg cartons when your phone vibrates. You already know who it is, tapping on the screen to see “mum” and her usual morning text, asking you how you're feeling and what you have planned for the day.
It's harder to pretend like everything's fine when it's her asking. She can always tell that you're faking it; that whatever you say is just an empty, repetitive attempt at assuring her that you are fine.
You don't really mean any of it.
And she knows.
You shoot her a quick reply, trying to ease her worries but not really having the energy to fully commit,
“I’m good, going to work and meeting up with Sara after”
A small lie, though you are planning on sending a text to see if Sara's available later. Regrettably, your weekly dinners had been reduced to monthly ones, but still.
Do it for mum.
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“Have you finished checking the reports I asked you to look over?”
Gwayne does not even spare you a glance as he comes up to your desk in the office, eyes glued to his phone and thumbs violently tapping the screen. He wasn’t the worst boss to have, but he certainly wasn’t nice or understanding either, promptly ignoring any signs of distress you were showing. You know you have been looking worse and worse as the stress of the job has settled in; skin going duller and bags under your eyes becoming more prominent. Yet, he stubbornly says nothing, relying on you to finish work swiftly without ever talking back or asking for some guidance.
“Yes, I just have to glance them over one last time before I forward them to you”, you answer, noticing how tedious your voice has become.
He hums, eyes still on his phone,
“And then I’ll need you to double-check that you’ve replied to any urgent emails before going home today. Would really fuck up my schedule next week if I’d have to keep track of your inbox as well”
“Yes, sure”, you reply before even taking in what Gwayne had told you,
“Wait, what do you mean? Next week?”, you question, seeing him briefly scrunch his eyebrows together before finally looking up from his phone, locking eyes with you,
“Yes, you have next week off, remember? Last chance to use up those paid days off you’ve accumulated, and the union has made it quite clear that we cannot give you a bonus instead”, he rolls his eyes at the last part.
“Week off? But I have meetings lined up next week, deadlines closing in”
Despite knowing that you probably need the break, you feel the familiar tightening in your chest as you consider all tasks you were planning on doing next week.
Gwayne, seeming to be done with the conversation, turns and walks away from your desk, eyes again locked on his phone as he replies, “Then you’ll just have to get it sorted today”
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“Well that’s lovely, sweetheart!”
Rhaenyra’s voice sounds relieved when you tell her the news of your unplanned week off. You had been forced to stay at the office for two additional hours just to make sure that you finished up any urgent business, resulting in you cancelling the dinner plans you'd made with Sara and consequently spending another evening by yourself at home.
“Why don’t you get away for a bit? You might enjoy a change of scenery?”, she asks.
You were too exhausted to even think about planning and booking a trip, replying “Yeah, sure” dispassionately as you stir the pot of pasta cooking on the stove.
All you want to do is lay in bed, listen to music and try as best as you can to turn your brain off; to not think about anything.
Contently brainless.
You don't want to think about how you’d gotten your dream job, just to realise that you despise it.
You don't want to think about how every day felt like a repetition of the one before, nothing exciting ever happening.
You don't want to think about the strong suspicion you have that every fucking choice you’ve ever made has lead you to a life that you detest.
“Why don’t you go visit Helaena? I know she’s misses you”, your mothers voice pulls you away from the negative thoughts spiralling in your head,
“I think the place is about two hours by train from Oldtown, out in the country. Maybe some fresh air would do you good?”
You knew Helaena had moved out to the country about a year ago, exhausted and overstimulated from the suffocating drain of the fast-paced city that King’s Landing is. She’d sent you a letter, not a text or a call, some time ago to let you know that she was okay and she’d love it if you came by to visit her.
“Mm, I do miss her
”, you mumble into your phone, thinking of the last time you’d seen her. It was Aegon’s birthday almost one and a half years ago. She’d seemed lost and sad. Like she often did.
Like you often did, nowadays.
“Yeah, maybe that’d do me some good”, you finally agree, hearing Rhaenyra let out a sigh of relief at your words. You know she's worried you’d stay home all week, doing nothing but dwelling in sadness.
“That’s lovely, dear! I’m sure she’ll be ecstatic to see you. You know Aemond lives there too, right?"
You’d heard that Aemond had left King’s Landing shortly after finishing his PhD as well. You’d been with your mum when Alicent called her, filled to the brim with worry over her overachieving son turning down a position at Oldtown University in order to move out to the middle of nowhere, claiming that he’d be "conducting private research".
You had actually been excited for him to move to Oldtown. Having some family close by would’ve been a nice escape from the loneliness of the city.
Besides, you and Aemond had drifted apart as you both grew older, despite being thick as thieves in your childhood.
Maybe it’d be nice to see him too.
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You lean your head against the train window, watching the city landscape make way for the lush greenery of the Reach in late summer.
Being trapped in the city you’d almost forgotten how beautiful it was here; a stark difference from Dragonstone, where you’d spent most of your upbringing.
It's not that you don't miss the sea. As a child, you'd loved the way the harsh, salty winds whipped at your face, leaving you wet and impossibly refreshed as you stared out towards the horizon, thinking of everything awaiting you there.
The potential of what your life could've become felt a lot more comforting than the reality of it.
You hadn't been able to call Helaena to inform her that you’d like to visit. Apparently, she didn’t have a mobile phone anymore, but after sending a text to Alicent you’d gotten a hold of her new number; a landline.
You didn’t know how she managed without a smartphone, but figured that the stress of constant notifications might have made her decide to ditch it.
Grabbing your bag from between your legs, your hand rummages through it in blind search for your pocket mirror.
You pull it out, open it and check your reflection.
Still the same tired face, with dark bags permanently residing under your eyes. You hadn’t slept well last night either, despite having some much needed rest from work.
Why was your body seemingly incapable of relaxing?
You feel around for some concealer, dotting a bit on your finger and patting it under your eye; a useless attempt at hiding the fatigue prevalent on your face.
Defeated, you lean back in your seat.
The train ride's nice. You spend the entire 2 hours and 12 minutes listening to music, watching the scenery flash by.
Thoroughly zoned out, you nearly miss the conductor announcing your station.
You hastily grab your bag and rush out of the door. The station, if you could even call it that, is small; just two tracks going opposite directions.
It's closer to a bus stop, a place where people get off and quickly make way to their final destination.
You spot Helaena immediately. She's standing on the platform in a lilac summer dress, her silver hair shining in the sunlight.
Although you can only really make out her silhouette, she seems different. As you come closer, the wide smile that she sports comes into view.
Gosh, she looks radiant!
So different from her gloomy, distant self back in King’s Landing.
“I’m so happy you’re here!”, she squeals, wrapping you in her arms.
She hugs you tightly, and you hug her back, burying your nose in her hair. It feels good to hug someone you care for.
When was the last time you did that?
“Thank you for having me”, you respond as Helaena pulls away, still holding you in her arms, eyes flickering over your face.
Her smile falters for a second before it returns and she starts talking excitedly about her new home, telling you that it’s only a 20 minute walk from the station and you could catch up on the way.
You follow her down the steps from the platform, answering a few questions about work and your life in Oldtown.
She leads you away from the small station, down a path where a few houses lay scattered sporadically.
You can hardly call this a town; far too minuscule. Still, you notice what seems to be a little supermarket, a pharmacy, a gas station and what looks like an elementary school, facing the tiny town square.
“I’ve been hoping you’d come visit ever since I sent you that letter”, Helaena gushes, taking your hand in hers as she led you down a small path going off the main road,
“I just know you’ll love our commune. Aemond thinks so too!”, she continues while squeezing your hand in hers.
“Commune?”, you ask and turn to face her.
She met your eyes and nods, face breaking out into a wide grin once again,
“Yes, Aemond’s research project! You know he specialised in philosophy when he did his PhD in Political Science, right? Well, he got really into the idea of having people live in smaller communities instead of the impersonal and detached lifestyles people pursue in modern cities”, she explains, eyes once again inspecting your face, only to land on the bags under your eyes.
You hum in response, seeing if she’ll continue.
“So, he used some of the money he had stored away in funds and created our commune; a small community where everyone knows each other and we get away from the stresses of city life. We grow our own crops, spend time outside and work together to keep the place running”, she explains, eyes gleaming with adoration,
“He said he did it for me, since he saw how bad my depression had gotten back in King’s Landing”, she adds, and you squeeze her hand affectionately. Aemond had always cared for Helaena, no one else seemed to truly understand her like he did.
“So, you feeling better now? Out here?”, you inquire, gesturing towards the green field you walk through, hand in hand.
You're not really paying attention to where you're going as Helaena guides you. Looking up, you find yourself surrounded by nature; not a building in sight.
The sun shines brightly, illuminating the beech trees towering over you, creating a roof of light green luminance.
“Yes, much better”, she replies with a smile. She seems so at peace here, encapsulating a kind of beauty that comes from within and hypnotises anyone laying eyes on her.
“And this, ehm, commune. How many people live there now?”, you ask, not knowing you’d be spending your time with a bunch of strangers.
Truth be told, you really didn’t feel up for it.
You barely have energy to hang out with Helaena and Aemond. Entertaining and getting to know new people would be especially draining.
“We’re already about 50 people. Most of them met Aemond when he was still in school”, she replies.
As if she could sense your uneasiness, her eyes search yours as she adds, “You’ll love them, I swear! Everyone’s super nice”
Together, you continue your path, walking up a small hill. As you look down, the commune comes into view.
You see small, cottage-looking houses, with large flowerbeds between them, filled with everything from herbs to vegetables.
There's a large building the middle of the field with walls much taller than the cottages. The building's made out of wood; a dark tone that contrasts against the light trees and green fields you’d passed on the way over.
Above the large entrance of the building is a large carving, resembling the seven-pointed star of the Faith.
Helaena, still excitedly chatting next to you about how lovely life is out in the country, pulls you towards the large building in quick steps,
“Aemond's dying to meet you! It’s been so long. I bet he’s in the Sept”, she explains, leading you through the tall, open door.
Your parents aren't particularly religious, which means you hadn’t spent much time in Septs and the like. Alicent’s family, however, were rather devoted; an integral part of the many faith's many fractions in Oldtown.
When you were younger, both Helaena and Aemond had spent a lot of time studying The Seven-Pointed Star. Still, the fact that they'd chosen to construct a Sept in such a small community shocks you.
Maybe they're more dedicated than you’d thought?
Entering the Sept, you recognise the back of a tall man with broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and long, silvery hair, tied in a low bun.
Helaena calls his name and he turns around, finding your gaze in an instant. His lone, purple eye crinkles slightly as he smiles at you, calling out your name in greeting.
Just like Helaena, he looks radiant; pale skin glowing, dress shirt and dark slacks perfectly ironed, and not a hair out of place.
As a child he was always so moody; volatile and sensitive.
Now, he seems so calm.
Too calm.
Like he was faking it.
“Welcome to our home. I hope the trip here wasn’t too draining?”, he asks, inspecting your fatigued face.
Seven hells, did everyone think you looked like the walking dead?
“It was a lovely ride out here. I’d almost forgotten how beautiful the country is” you answer, trying your best to sound cheerier than you look.
He hums at your answer, placing a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly. You can't make out if it's supposed to be an attempt at a greeting, or a way to comfort you.
His eye bores into yours,
“We’re so happy to finally have you here. Helaena will help you get sorted in one of our rooms and then I’ll introduce you to everyone”
His hand swiftly leaves your shoulder before he turns around, striding out of the large wooden doors of the Sept.
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Reconnecting
After a few hasty greetings, you retreat to the room Helaena and Aemond have assigned to you.
You're exhausted from being bombarded with impressions, and collapse on your bed, finding uninterrupted sleep for the first time in months.
Hours later, you wake up to the sun illuminating your room, a low knocking sound by your door.
As your groggy mind slowly realises where you are, you hear Helaena call you from the outside, informing you that breakfast will be served in a few minutes.
You get up and move to the basin placed in the corner of your room, splashing some water on your face, checking your sleepy reflection.
You instantly notice that the heavy bags that had seemed to be a permanent feature under your eyes have faded slightly, and you look better and brighter than you had in a long time.
Mood elevated, you move to throw on a flowy, knee-length skirt and a linen blouse, reasoning that something loose-fitting would match the sunny, late-summer climate.
Stepping outside, the air is crisp.
The sun provides warmth as it makes contact with your skin, a welcomed relief to the slight chill still lingering.
You notice that the residents of the small community have gathered by a long, wooden table placed in the middle of a field not far away from where you stand. You quickly make your way there, spotting Helaena. Her eyes light up as she sees you approach, greeting you with a wide smile,
“We always have breakfast together”, she explains as people move around you swiftly, placing plates of bread, yoghurt, pastries, fresh fruit and vegetables on the massive table.
You spot Aemond, hands behind his back and posture straigh as he observes the people scurrying around him. He glances at you, giving you a small smile and a nod before he returns to his previously stoic state, observing the residents while they prepare for breakfast.
Helaena reappears next to you, arms wrapped around 5 glass vases filled with wildflowers. You help her place them on the table, admiring how utterly beautiful the set up looks.
The commune, as you'd heard one resident call it, has a simplistic aesthetic. Most rooms are only occupied by whatever furniture’s necessary to maximise functionality; tables, chairs and beds made out of wood, decorated with nature-toned linens.
Yet, there is a beauty to it you’d hardly seen before; an appreciation for a simple charm that's often lost in the hectic mess of cities like Oldtown or King’s Landing.
You take a seat next to Helaena, eager to devour the delicious-looking food in front of you.
Though most residents are seated by now, no one moves to touch the various plates filled to the brim with mouth-watering food.
You look over at the end of the long table and notice Aemond standing, hands still clasped behind his back. He softly clears his throat, and the cheery chatter dissolves in an instance, all eyes shifting to watch the tall, silver-haired man standing before them,
“Good morning. I hope you all slept well and feel ready for a day of prosperity”, Aemond starts, eye moving across the table to acknowledge everyone present.
Most of the residents are older than both you and Aemond. You even heard that a handful of them used to be his professors back in King’s Landing.
You're still not sure how he’d managed to get them all to move out here, but as he speaks, you notice how intensely everyone observes him, taking in every word that leaves his lips,
“Let us pray”, he orders, and each one of your tablemates bring their hands up to clasp over their empty plates before closing their eyes.
Aemond sends you a look you can’t really decipher. You assume he wants you to partake in the prayer, so you lower your head and clasp your hands together as well.
Aemond pays tribute to all seven faces of the new God before thanking all residents for attending, voice calm and steady.
As the prayers end, everyone shifts their focus to the food. You feel unsure of what to try; everything looks so good.
Helaena makes the decision for you, grabbing your plate, loading it with bread and various spreads and toppings for you to try.
“You’ll love this”, she urges as she places the plate in front of you, lilac eyes eagerly awaiting your reaction.
She's right. Everything tastes divine and you eat until you feel like your stomach is about to burst.
Meanwhile, you try to engage in some small-talk with the people sitting closest to you around the massive table.
To your right sits Jayne, a woman you’d guess to be in her early fifties, with sun-kissed skin and kind, brown eyes. She tells you about her tasks at here, mainly growing herbs and flowers.
She shoots a quick glance at a dark-haired woman sitting by Aemond further down the table, explaining that she grows and tends to various plants which are grown at the request of the woman she’s observing; Alys.
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After breakfast you offer to help collect and wash up the dishes, feeling a strong need to be useful as you see all residents retreat to their respective tasks for the day.
As you circle the outside table with an already overfilled tray in your hands, you spot a tall figure appear beside you.
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
You look to the side and see Aemond standing there. He's wearing a dress shirt and dark slacks today as well, though his hair is left untied, cascading down his shoulders and reflecting the light of the sun.
He offers you a timid smile as he asks, mimicking the way he used to look when he was younger. It's a stark contrast to how he appeared during breakfast; authoritative and intimidating.
You return his smile and nod. Perhaps a walk would do you good.
He instructs one of the residents to take over your work and they do so without protest. You send them an apologetic look and mumble a "thank you" as you follow Aemond, who’s already set sight on the small path leading away from the settlement and towards the compact trees of the surrounding forest.
The two of you walk in silence, basking in the lovely scenery surrounding you. The light green trees seem to shimmer in the sun, and as you make your way into the forest, you spot a small river; surface reflecting the lush greenery of the leaves.
“How is life in Oldtown? Has my uncle been giving you a hard time?”, Aemond asks, eye looking forward as he breaks the silence.
You swallow and mentally prepare yourself before answering, not wanting to let him in on how miserable you’ve been.
“Yeah it’s been interesting. A lot of new challenges but I’m hanging in there”, you answer, and despite your attempt at sounding casual, the sadness residing within you drips through and stains your voice.
Aemond abruptly halts and turns to you, eye boring into yours as he contemplatively licks his lips.
“There's no need for that here”, he states, voice suddenly sterner than before.
“What do you mean?”
Your cheeks grow hot and your palms feel clammy as you grow embarrassed over how easily he sees through your fake cheeriness.
“You don’t need to lie to me. It’s only us here, I won’t judge you”, he replies, maintaining the intense eye contact between the two of you.
It feels like a dam bursts within you; a force so strong you're helpless to it, and your sight turns blurry.
Any attempts you’ve made to appear strong have failed and all that is left is the truth; that you'r stuck in a permanent state of misery.
Broken.
You feel your throat close up and you desperately try to swallow before answering,
“I ha-, have been feeling a bit, ehm, lost”, you admit, and as you finally utter the words, admitting to yourself and confiding in him that you feel disoriented, tears spill out of the corners of your eyes.
You try to take deep breaths to soothe yourself and regain some control over your emotions, but it's too hard.
Why can’t you pull yourself together?
Aemond regards you for a moment, allowing you time to process the sudden crash of emotions overcoming you, before he places a hand on your upper arm, gently dragging his fingers over the fabric of your blouse.
“You’re allowed to feel lost”, he looks into your eyes and there is something there; a tenderness you haven’t seen since you were both much younger.
You can’t stop the tears from flowing anymore as you weakly nod at his words, the lump in your throat leaving you unable to properly answer him. His seeing eye is so gentle as it gazes into yours,
“Many of us here felt lost, hopeless even. But the community we’ve built allowed us to reconnect with our inner selves; helped us feel happier”
He moves the hand that had been on your arm to your face, experimentally stroking your cheek. You lean into his touch by reflex, relishing in the feeling of his warm hand on your wet cheek.
“You don’t have to pretend here, not with me”
As he speaks you move closer to him, pressing your body against his and wrapping your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly, just like you did so many times in your childhood.
He understands what you need and hugs you back, holding you against his chest, softly stroking your hair. And despite the agony in your chest and the lump in your throat, you feel okay; escaping into his warm embrace to momentarily forget all your sorrows.
You stay like that for a while, bodies interlocked with each other as Aemond lets you cry. He doesn't say anything, continuously stroking your hair. It feels emancipating; crying your heart out in the arms of your uncle.
As your tears dry, you gently push yourself away from Aemond’s embrace and run the back of your hand over your cheeks in an attempt to remove some of the wetness. Aemond’s eye still looks gentle as he regards you,
“I know that life's not always what you thought it’d be, and leaving home is scary. But you’re with family now. Me and Hel are so pleased that you’re here with us”
You smile at him, saying a quiet "thank you" as he motions for you to carry on with your walk.
You continue to talk and catch up on what’s been going on in your lives since you last met.
Aemond tells you about his research project; how he believes that modern capitalism renders people mere objects utilised for profit by companies, consequently leaving them lacking agency and without a belief in higher powers, generating a generation of depressed, lost souls.
You take in everything he says. He speaks with such confidence that you feel yourself agreeing instantaneously.
In truth, you also felt like an object at work; a machine there to execute tasks, without any possibility to change your condition.
You listen to him talk so intensively you don't even realise you’re back at the residence.
What sounds like a fight in hushed voices pulls you away from your conversation with Aemond as you look up to search for where the voices are coming from.
You see one of the residents you had breakfast with, Jayne, kneel down in front of Alys, grasping at her apron and pleading to her in a quiet, desperate voice,
“I didn't mean to, please believe me!”
Shocked, you look over at Aemond who suddenly looks stern, wrinkles forming between his eyebrows. His eye's set on the scene in front of you, yet he does not intervene.
As you open your mouth to ask him what's going on, he grabs your arm and promptly leads you into the Sept, closing the door behind you.
“Helaena will meet you here, she wanted to show you her insect farm. Do not leave until she collects you”, he commands, voice stoic but intimidating, leaving no room for argument.
Before you have a chance to reply he quickly opens the door, and leaves.
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You spend the afternoon with Helaena, exploring her insect farm and listening to her tell you of all the benefits the farm provides.
Afterwards, you still feel the unease from earlier vibrate within you, causing you to feel restless. In an attempt to be useful, you offer to help some of the residents as they prepare the large outdoor dining space for supper.
You chat with one of the younger people there, a man who appears to be in his early 20’s called Jon.
He tells you about how he met Aemond. As part of his PhD programme, Aemond held some lectures for first-year students, and Jon had attended his class on international conflict and crisis.
They’d started talking outside of Aemond’s lectures and found that they had much in common, especially in regards to their view of the world, and what was wrong with it. Aemond had mentioned his wish to move out of the city with his sister, and Jon was intrigued in an instance.
You continue your conversation with Jon, finding him easy to chat with. He's surprisingly funny too, joking and making you laugh, easing your anxiety. Feeling yourself relax and grow more comfortable, you decide to pry a bit, confiding in Jon,
“I wasn’t brought up with the faith, so I have to ask. Why did you decide to build a large Sept in a small settlement like this?”, you ask as you help Jon place cutlery by the plates on the table.
His relaxed and cheerful demeanour stiffens at your question. His eyes leave the silverware on the table to meet yours,
“You don’t know?”
His face appears genuinely surprised, and his eyes are wide in question. Before you get a chance to answer, a raspy voice interrupts your conversation,
“Jon! How lovely of you to entertain our guest”
The woman who you’ve learned goes by Alys appears, emerald eyes locking with yours as you turn to meet her.
“I’m Alys, it is so nice to meet you”
She stretches out a hand and gives you a practised smile. Her features looks pleasant; far from how harsh they'd appeared when Jayne had been kneeling before her.
You try to smile back at her and tell her your name, though you suspect she already knows exactly who you are. You look over at Jon who appears nervous, hands fidgeting with a fork.
“I believe Aemond wants to see you, in his office”, Alys sight does not leave Jon, eyes boring into him, but you both know she is addressing you.
You can’t come up with anything to say or do; anxious to find out what it is that Aemond wants from you and desperate to get away from the intense, silent fight between Jon and Alys taking place before your eyes.
You shoot Jon a quick apologetic glance before moving toward the Sept, leaving him with Alys.
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Aemonds office is located behind the large altar in the Sept. As you approach, you feel yourself grow tenser; stiffer.
You quickly try to run your sweaty palms over your skirt before raising one hand and softly tapping your knuckles against the heavy wood.
Aemond calls for you to come in and you enter, standing awkwardly by the door.
What does he want with you?
Had you overstepped when you spoke with Jon?
Or will he let you in on what had happened between Alys and Jayne when you came back from your walk?
Something about this place and Aemond makes you unexplainably uneasy, but you're unable to pin-point what it is that reduces you to a mess of nerves.
Your eyes keep flicking up at Aemond and down at the floor. You can't maintain eye contact with him, his stare too intense.
Fiery.
“I heard you offered to help Jon prepare supper?”, he inquires. His voice is completely devoid of any emotions, making your uneasiness grow.
He had an eerie calmness to him that did little to soothe you; rather, it made you grow even more restless.
“Y-, yes, well, I only helped him with bringing out plates and such”, you rushedly explain, words pouring out of your mouth, “I'm so sorry if I overstepped or made a mistake, that wasn’t my intention”
Aemond beckons you over, pushing his chair from where it’s placed by the desk, holding out his hand. You grab it without a second thought and he begins stroking his thumb over the back of your palm, looking up at you, a sliver of sympathy evident in his dark gaze,
“Why did you assist him?”, he asks softly and you answer that you just wanted to be helpful; that it feels strange seeing everyone else work hard and not contribute.
Aemond hums and leans back in his chair, hand still holding yours.
“You shouldn’t do other peoples chores for them. Everyone here has responsibilities that they should conduct in solitude”, he explains and you nod, though you can’t understand the harm in helping someone with a menial task like setting the table for supper.
“Don’t worry, no one is upset with you”, he adds to reassure you that you haven’t wronged anyone. You feel yourself relax somewhat, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.
Aemond looks you over and his gaze stops at your shoulders, noticing the strain there,
“You are still so tense”, he notes and you hum.
Stress, working at a desk for over 40 hours per week and lack of sleep had left your body in a constant, rigid state.
“Come here”, he commands and tugs at your arm unexpectedly, making you stumble forward. His other hand comes up to wrap around your waist, placing you on his thigh.
He looks into your eyes and the close proximity makes you slightly uncomfortable.
“You’ve always been so nervous; anxious since we were young”, he says as the hand that had been holding yours travels down to rest on your clothed thigh. The arm he has around you midriff tightens as if he’s expecting you to move away,
“Let me help you relax”, he offers, voice soft.
With gentle fingers, he slowly traces patterns on your leg. You do not know what he means by helping you, but you trust him.
He managed to makes you feel better before.
You stay put on his lap and he takes that as permission to continue, letting his hand travel down to where your skirt ends, fingers caressing your knee.
A breath gets caught in your throat as his hand moves upwards, slinking in under the fabric of your skirt; warm palm softly touching the smooth skin of your thigh. Aemond lets out a sigh at the contact and you suddenly feel uneasy, squirming in his grip.
“Aemond, what are you doing?”, you ask, voice slightly panicked.
His arm tightens around your waist as you try to move, hand continuing its path up your skirt.
“Didn’t it feel liberating to ease the pressure within when you cried in my arms earlier?”, he inquires and you look at him puzzled.
He still appears stoic but the pupil of his eye is blown wide; enveloping his iris.
“Let me take care of you. Just relax”, he commands as his hand reaches the apex of your thighs, index finger coming up to touch your bundle of nerves over your underwear experimentally.
You gasp and try to squirm out of his hold again, but he is much stronger; body rigid as he holds you.
He moves his head down to rest in the crock of your neck, shushing your protests. His fingers continue their slow massage over your underwear, and you feel yourself grow wetter from his attention.
Both your mind and your body have frozen.
Although you know it’s wrong, you let yourself lean into the pleasure Aemond is providing you, feeling yourself drift away; mind letting go of your senses as Aemond's touch consumes you.
When his fingers travel to the edge of your underwear, sliding inside, it’s like a bucket of cold water is poured over you.
You regain consciousness, bringing your hand up to try and push his away,
“Aemond we can’t do this, don’t-”, you plea, embarrassed by the fact that you can feel the evidential stickiness of your arousal between your legs.
Aemond tuts at you and pushes his fingers to make contact with the skin of your cunt, delighted at the wetness that greets him,
“You want this", he speaks quietly into your neck, "You need this. Be a good girl for me and let it happen”
You sit in his lap stiffly and as you're about to protest once more, his fingers circle your clit, causing a startled moan to slip out of your disobliging mouth.
Aemond chuckles against your skin and presses a light kiss to your neck,
“I knew you’d like it”
His words feel taunting, and your cheeks sear with shame.
The conflicting feelings storming inside you do little to hinder the arousal you're experiencing.
As his fingers travel down to your entrance, you again feel your common sense slip away and pleasure overtaking you.
He gathers some of the wetness from your entrance and brings it back up to your clit, making you sigh in involuntary pleasure again.
He positions his hand so that the heel of his palm is right by your bundle of nerves, leaving his fingers free to tease your entrance. He stays like that for a while, teasing you while pressing his palm against your clit.
The pleasure builds inside of you at a rapid pace.
He slowly sinks two fingers inside and you cannot contain the loud moan that escapes you, grabbing his arm with both hands. You grip him tightly, but cannot bring yourself to pry his hand away like you’d tried before, the pleasure too overpowering.
He sets a steady pace, palm pushing against your clit and fingers continuously finding that spot within you that causes your thighs to shake.
Your breath grows heavy, pleasure tightening inside you rapidly, and suddenly you don't want him to stop.
You hear Aemond’s breath growing laboured against your neck as well, giving it his all as he holds you in place and pleasures you.
You bite your lip to not let more moans slip out as pleasure begins to consume you.
Why did it feel so good?
Your walls began to contract against Aemond’s fingers as your peak approaches, and distantly, you hear him encourage you to let go.
As you do, you let out a pleasured cry, soaking his fingers. Your body stiffens while pleasure shoots through you; traveling from your lower stomach to your chest and down your limbs.
Your body slumps against Aemond, who moves his face out from the crook of your neck, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear as he whispers,
“Good girl”
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Assimilating
You can’t take in anything Helaena is saying.
You watch her lips move, try your hardest to take in her words, but nothing sticks. You hum and nod in reply, but haven’t got a clue to what you just agreed.
Should you tell her about what happened in Aemond’s office?
What if she tells him?
What if she tells mum?
Bile rises in the back of your throat at the thought.
What if your mum found out what her brother had done with her daughter?
What if she found out how good he’d made you feel?
That you liked it.
The only consolation to your misery is the fact that Aemond is sitting where he’d sat before, at the end of the long, beautifully decorated wooden table, looking out at everyone as if nothing was wrong. Like this was any other supper.
Maybe nothing was wrong?
Maybe you'd just imagined the entire thing?
Still, you can't bear to meet his gaze. You continue to channel all of your energy into the conversation you were having with Helaena. Or rather, that she was having with you.
“So when the queen bee dies, her workers will select a new queen from the larva and feed her this special thing called ‘royal jelly’ to make her fertile”, she cheerily says, smiling from ear to ear,
“Everyone here in our community gets to focus their attention on their chosen topic of interest, mine being insects and biology. I’ve learned so much, nature is truly fascinating”
Again, you notice how elated Helaena seems to be here. Her eyes shine as she continues to tell you about her life in the country, tending to insect farms.
It's hard to imagine that this is the same girl who’d been a shell of a person before.
As children, she had developed a tendency to pull away from others, choosing to fold into herself and push the world around her away.
Seeing her this animated and filled with life should make you happy for her.
But it feels off.
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The following days go by quickly.
Sensing your need to feel useful, the members of Aemond's commune assign you daily tasks, like helping out with harvesting plants, preparing meals and cleaning up the Sept.
The building doesn’t seem to be used for ceremonies or communal prayer. Instead, the residents utilise it privately throughout the day; though you're not let in on their purpose.
Although not being too familiar with the Seven, you swear you could remember Aemond and Helaena attending services at the Sept when you were younger, not merely going there in solitude. Maybe they prayed together as well sometimes?
Another benefit of focusing on productivity was the distraction it gave you from thinking about what had occurred between you and your uncle three days prior.
Despite the initial disgust you'd felt, you had now decided that if you acted like it never happened, maybe it never did.
You’d sworn to never bring it up with Aemond, or ever tell anyone else for that matter.
He was still the Aemond you’d grown up with; the sensitive boy with a strong will, always on a mission to prove himself.
He’d always been a bit too ‘by the book’. Maybe he sincerely thought that you would enjoy it?
He might've read something about Freud’s theory on female hysteria and the power of orgasmic release, seeing the act as more of a medical procedure than a sexual encounter?
A weak theory, but still.
---
Despite helping out at every corner of the residence, you hadn’t seen Alys since leaving her with Jon.
But this morning, after Aemond had asked you to help the residents clean up the leftovers from breakfast, you spot her standing next to your uncle, talking about something in hushed voices while watching the residents tidy up.
Although you'd only spent a few days here, Aemond and Alys' position at the top of the hierarchy of the small community was evident.
They both had an air of authority about them that was hard to overlook, making the pair appear intimidating in a way that only a strict superior could.
Yet, they both choose to be soft spoken whenever they address the residents, often complimenting them on their diligent work.
Observing the duo, you notice Aemond nod towards you, which prompts Alys to approach, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder,
“I’d like for you to help me today”, she states, and although her voice is soft, as if asking a question, there seems to be no room for disagreement.
She ushers you to follow her as she makes way towards one of the almost overflowing flower beds; copious plants fighting for space.
Like every day since your arrival, the weather is practically perfect; sunny but with a comforting breeze passing through the fields. Alys reaches for two weaved baskets resting against the small cottage wall close by and hands you one before kneeling down by the flower bed. You follow her, admiring the abundance of herbs in front of you.
You’d never witnessed such a variety of plants grow so vigorously together. You’d hardly thought it to be possible. Maybe the weather and temperature conditions here were optimal? Or maybe they’d genetically modified the crops?
Alys' gentle, low voice breaks the silence,
“How has the stay here been for you so far?”
Even though you’d told yourself; decided that you’d never think about what had happened between you and Aemond in his office again, her questions forces your mind back there.
Sitting on his lap. His fingers inside you; stretching you out.
You shake your head slightly in an attempt to erase the thought.
You’re never going to think about that again.
You can’t.
“It’s been great. Everyone’s so welcoming and I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with Helaena”, you reply, focusing on the positive aspects of your visit.
It was all true; during your time here you’d felt welcomed and comforted. Cared for, even.
“That’s lovely”, Alys replies with a smile as she begins to pick basil leaves off the thin stem of the plant. “We’ve worked hard to create an environment where our residents can thrive, just like you seem to be doing”, she explains and your forehead wrinkles in contemplative confusion.
Are you thriving here?
You certainly look a lot better.
Your skin has almost started to glow. You wake up in the mornings feeling refreshed and rested.
But that could just be down to the fact that you’d found uninterrupted sleep. Plus, the appetising food served here seems healthy, consisting of ingredients the residents grew and prepared themselves.
“Well, the fresh air and delicious meals certainly help one thrive”, you reply with an unconvinced chuckle.
Alys’ eyes light up as they sweep over your face,
“You enjoy the food? I’m happy to hear that. I’ve put all of the past year's energy into curating the plants, grains and menu here”, she tells you, pride causing her to straighten up, sitting a bit taller.
“You truly have a gift, Alys. Any tips for an amateur like me?”, you inquire, relaxing a bit now that the conversation has taken a lighter turn.
She smiles at you and pulls out a small, green tin from the large pocket in the middle of the apron she’s wearing. She opens the lid and pulls out brass spoon. It’s filled with what looks like dirt, or clay, and smells similar to a compost.
Your nose wrinkles as she scoops some of the brown mush inside the tin onto her spoon, placing it by the plant's roots before firmly patting it down with the back of the utensil.
“I was doing my PhD at King’s Landing University before moving here. I was researching phytotherapy”, she explains as she scoops out another spoonful of brown mush from the tin and moves to add it to the next plant's roots.
“I was in my final year, fully consumed by my dissertation. Despite loving the topic, I was so stressed by my academic career that I seriously considered dropping everything and moving back to Harrentown. Then, I heard my professor tell me about this brilliant young man in the Political Science department”
Speaking about Aemond, her eyes almost look dreamy,
“His ideas were so radical, yet so natural, you know? He wanted to create a community where people were allowed to pursue their passions without the stressors of modern society. Where the Seven provide enough guidance”
You feel uneasiness creep up your spine. Her facial expression is almost trance-like as she talks about Aemond; as if he's a deity, ready to be worshipped.
“Well, modern society provides us with plenty of comforts as well, don’t you think?”, you counter with a strained laugh, trying to ease the mood a bit,
“What would you do if, like, one of the members got sick?”
Alys huffs a laugh as well and smiles to herself as she eyes the tin in her hand,
“We always get by”
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After a quick lunch break, you continue to help Alys with various tasks around the residence; picking flowers, vegetables and herbs for her, plucking out weeds and organising seeds for future harvests.
You’d never seen seeds like the ones she showed you before; pitch-black in colour and almost supernaturally round.
When she saw your expression, she snorted a laugh and explained that they were from Yi Ti, used by herbalists for centuries.
She did not, however, answer you when you asked what they were going to be used for.
Although her presence had felt intimidating at first, you'd now grown calm around Alys. Something about her was almost bewitching.
Like the way her emerald eyes would lock with yours whenever you spoke, or how graciously she moved about the commune, greeting each resident in a gentle voice.
You also noticed that they never met her gaze, eyes cast down as she approached, only uttering a few polite phrases before rushing away.
Feeling more at ease spurred your confidence, and so you ask her what you’ve been aching to know for the past days,
“The other day
-", you begin with a wavering voice,
"-What happened between you and Jayne?”
You try to sound as casual as possible, but it only makes you sound strange.
Alys, who’s been picking some wildflowers from one of the fields close to the residence, doesn’t slow her pace for even the briefest of moments as she answers you, eyes still on the stem of the flower in front of her,
“Nothing for you to worry about”
She plucks the flower and gently places it in her weaved basket before moving to the next one.
“Okay”, you reply with uncertainty, “She seemed very upset though”
Alys finally looks up from the flowers she’s plucking and meets your gaze,
“Actions have consequences. I’m sure you know that. But with the justice of the father and the grace of the mother, mistakes can be forgiven”
Her face is much sterner than before. The comfort of familiarity that had blossomed between the two of you disappears in an instance, and you feel uneasy as her eyes narrow.
“Jayne has been forgiven and we will move forward. Just like how Aemond forgave you”
Alys turns around and quickly makes way towards the Sept, disappearing inside and closing the door behind her.
Forgave you for what?
For what happened in Aemond's office?
Did she know about that?
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As the members of the commune prepare for supper, you go back to your room to have some time to yourself, mindlessly scrolling your phone while lying in bed.
The reception out here's not great, and now that you think about it, you hadn't seen any mobile phones during your stay, only a land-line hanging on the wall in Aemond's office.
After what happened with him, your mind had been too preoccupied to put any focus on replying to messages. You see a few from your mum and send her a quick reply to let her know that you’re doing well.
Seeing her name appear, you feel uneasy; like she knows of the secret you harbour. You feel guilty. And disgusted.
A sudden commotion outside throws you back into reality; back into the commune.
You hear raised voices, some sounding familiar, and you swiftly place your phone in your pocket before heading out.
You see Jon, eyes wide and face pale, on his knees in front of Aemond, mimicking how Jayne and Alys had looked a few days ago.
Aemond’s face is hard to read.
He looks stoic, yet his eye is furious; dark gaze glaring down at Jon.
Unlike Jayne, Jon doesn’t say anything. He raises his hands in surrender and locks eyes with Aemond; wordlessly pleading.
But for what?
By now, many of the residents have gathered around the two young men. Some look scared, others intrigued.
“Do you believe the Father to be just?”, Aemond’s soft voice asks, contrasting his utterly frightening appearance. Jon nods eagerly, eyes wide in panic.
“Then you’ll accept a punishment befitting the sin you’ve committed?”
Jon stiffens slightly, but eventually lowers his head in a slow nod. His eyes cast down to the ground; head hanging in surrender.
Aemond hums and pulls out a knife from the inside of the jacket he’s wearing over his usual white shirt and dark slacks.
It’s one you recognise. It had been gifted to Aemond on his 12th birthday by your grandfather, who’d declared that he was now a young man; a young Targaryen man, and therefore needed his own reminder of his Valyrian heritage.
Aemond flips the dagger in his hand as he regards the man before him, holding his hand out in an invitation to Jon. He wordlessly places his hand in Aemond’s, and you can now clearly see that he is shaking.
Aemond turns his hand so that he’s holding the back of it, Jon’s palm turned upwards,
“Mistakes can be forgiven, but justice must prevail”, Aemond speaks. His voice is louder than before to address the crowd gathering around him and Jon. It reminds you of a lecture.
Perhaps this is how he'd conduct classes at university?
The residents around you murmur in agreement. Aemond raises the dagger in his hand, eye cast down to make contact with Jon’s. He’s trembling out of fright and Aemond almost looks pleased at the display in front of him,
“We all need reminders of our wrongdoings, to prevent us from repeating them. Whenever you lose sight of the light, Jon, this will remind you to seek out the guidance of the Seven”, Aemond’s calm voice rings out as he suddenly presses the dagger into Jon’s palm.
He grunts in pain as the blade breaks his skin and blood flows freely from his hand. Aemond’s knuckles are white from the force in which he’s holding onto Jon’s hand, refusing to let the younger man go, staring into his eyes with a look so intimidating it demands submission.
You can’t take in the scene in front of you; can’t comprehend what’s happening.
As reality slowly comes back to you, you try to speak up, try to tell Aemond to stop, but your body doesn’t obey you; frozen in shock.
The other residents watch quietly, not making a sound as Aemond and Jon stay still, blade still penetrating Jon’s palm as his mouth winces in pain.
Your uncle finally pulls away from Jon, gesturing for Alys to move forward. She quickly pulls out some gauze from one of the pockets of her apron and kneels down next to Jon, gently wrapping it around his palm; blood pulsing out furiously.
Aemond’s stoic facade seems to falter slightly as his breathing turn laboured; jaw shut tight. He appears agitated, giving Jon and Alys one final look before stalking away towards the nearby path leading to the forest where he’d taken you for a walk a few days prior.
Your body finally obeys you as you call out his name in an urgent voice,
"Aemond!"
What the fuck had you just witness?
Aemond doesn’t turn around. He walk away in quick, angry steps, silhouette growing smaller and smaller. You throw a quick glance at Jon, whose face is even whiter than before, gauze around his palm already dark red with blood seeping through it.
You cannot bear to take in the gory sight, a thousand questions going through your head. You need answers, so you make your way towards where Aemond had disappeared.
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The path into the forest grows blurrier as a thick fog settles over the commune. Still, you make your way towards where Aemond had disappeared, determined to confront him about what you’d just witnessed.
You spot a form in the white mist, sitting on a stump with his head in his hands. You approach quickly, thoughts still spinning in your head.
What was that all about?
Why did you cut Jon?
Why did he agree?
If he did agree, that is.
The fear that was etched on Jon’s face as he knelt before Aemond made you shiver. He’d seemed so scared of him; scared of what he might do to him.
Still, no one had interfered as your uncle cut the hand of one of the members of their community.
Is this the norm?
Aemond looks up as he hears your footsteps approach, face as unreadable as always.
“What the fuck was that, Aemond?!”
Your voice is shrill and accusing. Your eyes seek out his as you stop before him; expression furious and chest heaving.
“You need to call a medic or something, Jon’s bleeding heavily!”
Your cheeks feel hot as fury rolls through your body, setting it alight.
It’s amplified by the seemingly unrepentant state of the man before you.
“Don’t question how we do things here”, he warns, eye just as furious as it had been before,
“Jon knew the consequences of stepping out of line. We all do”.
“What could he have done to make you mutilate his hand?!”, you counter. You still can’t fully comprehend what had happened mere moments ago.
Had you just witnessed bodily mutilation in the name of religion?
Aemond clicks his tongue, displeased with your accusations. He tries to school his face into a calmer demeanour as he looks you over,
“Sit down and I’ll explain”, he offers, gesturing for you to take a seat on the damp grass in front of him.
Despite your initial desire to defy him, purely out of spite, your curiosity wins as you take a seat in front of the stump where he sits.
“Everyone living here has consented to our communal agreement”, he begins. You can’t help the scoff that slips out. He continues,
“One of the reasons why people feel so depressed and out of place is due to the secularisation of the modern world. They’ve lost their connection to the Seven; lost sight of the light. A belief in the divine brings us closer together. Closer to the seven faces of the God”
“You all need help if you believe that physical violence will bring you closer to the gods”
It's hard to hide the disgust in your voice. Aemond’s jaw shuts tightly and the calmness on his face looks forced,
“Help me then”, he bites back, irritation penetrating his serene facade. “Pray with me”.
He grabs both your hands suddenly and traps them in his, lowering his head as he recites a prayer you haven’t heard before.
You try to pull your hands away but his grip is iron-like as he continues to mumble the prayer under his breath.
After a while, he grows quiet, yet keeps the grip around your hands. You look up at him. He's already awaiting your gaze.
Aemond looks like he’s contemplating something; different from his usual, determined state.
“Maybe you should help me like I help you; easing the pressure from within”
His hands pull yours towards the zipper of his slacks. Your body freezes in shock for a brief moment, then quickly pull away from him in reflex.
His grip on your hands is tight. He'd anticipated you'd fight back.
He brings your hands towards his crotch, now in such a tight grasp that your fingers ache. There's a hardness there, and your mouth goes dry, a rush of anxiety go through your body,
"Aemond, no, not aga-", you begin but he cuts you off.
“Would you prefer it if I told Helaena what you let me do to you in my office?"
His voice is foreign; cold and uncaring.
This is not the Aemond you know. The one who let you cry out in his embrace.
This is the Aemond they know.
"Or should I tell my other sister?”
You feel cold all over, shivering at his words.
A threat.
He lets one of his hands leave yours and undoes his zipper. He pulls out his length; already hard and furiously red.
You’re once again consumed by feelings of unreality.
This can’t actually be happening, right?
Aemond grips one of your hands, grasping it painfully hard as he pulls it towards his cock.
He presses into the sides and bends your fingers so they circle around him; much larger hand enveloping yours as he forces you to cool his desire.
He sets a fast pace; letting you know exactly how he likes it. His other hand moves towards your mouth, stunning you yet again as he pushes two fingers into your mouth.
Before you have a chance to pull your head away, he brings his spit-covered fingers down to your hand - the one he's using to pleasure himself with - and smears your saliva over the palm before guiding it back to his length again.
As your slick hand makes contact with his burning flesh once more, he grunts and closes his eyes; brows knit together in bliss. He lets you continue the motion by yourself, hands falling to the sides of his lap.
In the middle of this surreal experience, you can’t help but look up at him, admiring his beauty.
Such an intimidating man, instilling fear in so many around him, currently at your mercy.
You almost feel a headrush at the thought; having Aemond in the palm of your hand. Literally.
The continuous friction of your hand against his flesh removes some of the stickiness, and you hear him let out something similar to a whine as your hand grows drier.
His previously intimidating features suddenly look pleading as he gazes down at you, asking you to just comply.
Just give him this.
Without much thought of the consequences, instead of licking your palm, you move your head toward his length, darting your tongue out and licking a stripe over his tip. He lets out a surprise moan, and the unexpected feeling of pride rushing through your body makes your stomach turn.
You are not enjoying this!
Still, the praise travels down and settles in your core, causing a dull throb to pound between your thighs.
Then why does it feel so good to be praised by him?
You continue to pleasure him with your hand, though Aemond’s eye has traveled down to observe your mouth. His gaze occasionally flickers down to your clothed chest, peeking at the sliver of cleavage visible from above. One of his hands grasp your chin,
“Do that again”, he commands, and the disgust you'd felt towards yourself swirls in your belly again.
You shake your head, “No”
He lets out a grunt, hand still on your jaw as he slowly and firmly brings your head closer to his manhood.
Like before, you try to push away from him, to gain some sense of control, but he is far stronger than you,
“You do as I say”, he counters, and in one swift motion, he pulls your head towards his cock with such force that you nearly knock your forehead against his stomach.
As you part your lips to protest, he pushes himself inside of your hot, wet mouth, sighing in relief.
You feel panic come over you as you try to pull away, but he quickly places both hands on your head; keeping you in place.
“Breath through your nose. Be the good girl I know you are”
He grunts and begins to buck into your mouth.
You place your hands on his thighs in another feeble attempt at escaping his assault on your mouth, but to no avail. He drags your face over his length, palms moving to grab each side of your head as his movements grow quicker. You gag slightly.
“You feel so fucking good”, he breaths out, voice drunk on lust,
“You look so fucking good with my cock in your mouth, you know that?”
It feels like he's mocking you. It sounds like he adores you.
His thumb gently brushes away some of the strands that has fallen over your face.
The want in between your legs throb. The disgust in your stomach rumbles. You know that his words of praise shouldn’t make your underwear sticky.
But they do.
Your eyes water as he continues to fuck your mouth, not giving you any rest. You try to whine against him to make him stop; to at least let you come up for air, but he takes your sounds as moans and groans, moving in your mouth faster and harsher.
Finally sensing your need for a break, he manoeuvres your head off of his cock. You pant heavily as you gulp for air; lungs hurting from the sudden, sharp inhale.
A string of saliva connects your lips to his length, and his eye seems to be even more lust-filled as he moves his hand to caress your flushed cheek.
Even in this selfish, pleasure-driven madness, he regard you with fondness.
“Aemond, please, we can’t do this”, you plea.
His gaze flickers from your spit-soaked, swollen lips to your cleavage, and then back.
He doesn’t grant you a reply as he stands up abruptly, taking advantage of your startled state and shoves his length back into your mouth.
Your hands instinctively come up to his legs to have something to hold onto as he fucks your face with even more vigour than before, swearing under his breath.
You feel disgusted at the vicious arousal pooling in your stomach, seeping out of your core.
How could something so degrading feel so sensual?
How could you feel aroused by your uncle using you like this?
Aemond moves his hands to the back of your head, pushing you so that your nose makes contact with the hairs at the bottom of his stomach. He pushes his hips against you harshly and lets out a prolonged grunt.
You gag and stifle a cough, feeling his hot liquid fill your throat, then your mouth.
He slowly pulls away, hands still gripping your head as his eyes return to their wholly intimidating appearance,
“Swallow”, he demands, placing a large palm over your mouth, blocking your nose as well.
You know that you have no choice but to oblige him and force the sticky, salty fluid down your throat with a wince.
Aemond gives your kneeling form one last once-over before letting out a hum, swiftly putting his cock back into his trousers.
Without another word, he leaves, and you're left on your knees by the stump, fog now so thick that you can hardly see the path leading back to the residence.
You wipe away the spit trailing from the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand before standing on shaky legs.
Could you pretend like this never happen either?
As if in a trance, you make your way back to the commune; head filled with thoughts, yet too exhausted to comprehend anything.
You move to the basin placed in the corner of your room, reaching for your toothbrush without looking up at your reflection in the mirror.
You brush your teeth three times, reapplying tooth paste as the lather in your mouth disappears.
You want to get the taste of him out of your mouth.
It doesn’t go away.
Realising that you’ve been carrying your phone in your pocket this whole time, you tap the screen. A few new message from your mother and brother.
You hadn't even noticed.
Without checking, you turn your phone off, tossing it in your bag as you make your way to the bed.
You feel exhausted. Disgusted. Aroused.
This can’t be real.
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Forgiving
The sheets of the bed are soft against your skin.
The rays of the morning sun shine through your window, and in the glow of the day’s early hours, you feel rested; comforted by the cosiness of your bed.
As you turn to the side, snuggling into the duvet, you wonder why this comforting place ever caused you to feel unease.
And then you're reminded of last night.
The memory makes a shiver go down your spine and your body trembles; trying to shake the chill away. Still, the feeling crawling under your skin doesn’t quite disappear.
Usually, you wouldn’t be able to sleep in the anxious state you’d been in last night.
Yet, for some reason, as soon as your head touched the cool pillow, you’d fallen into uninterrupted slumber.
Though your mind was spinning from all the conflicting thoughts you were having, your body was surprisingly relaxed; well-rested and freed from tension.
You’re hungry too, you notice. The rumble in your stomach vibrates, prompted by the clatter of the residents preparing for breakfast outside.
Without much thought, you get up, get ready and head outside. The warm rays of the sun greet you and you have to squint in order to see who’s already seated at the long table.
To your surprise, you’re met by the same scene as the last couple of days.
Aemond is standing by the edge of the wooden table, speaking with Alys. Jon is carrying bread in a large basket, carefully placing a few buns in each empty bowl placed on the table. Helaena is fussing over the wildflowers adorning the table, laughing as Jayne tells her something you can’t make out.
The scenery is still perfect, despite what had occurred the day before between Aemond and Jon.
Between Aemond and you.
You walk towards the table and take your usual spot next to Helaena, offering her a strained smile as she greets you. You’d thought keeping up appearance would prove to be a true challenge, but right now you feel oddly at peace; calm even. And hungry.
As soon as Aemond finishes thanking the Seven in his morning prayer, you begin to pile food on your plate.
Everything looks mouthwatering, the freshly baked bread still warm in your hand as you tear it apart and smother it in butter. You usually weren’t the type to have an appetite when you feel anxious or stressed, but today your uneasy state only works to amplify your hunger.
As you eat, the stress that had been causing nervous waves to ebb through your body stills, and you feel more at ease. Your mind is calmer, less crowded with thoughts.
Numb.
As you finish your meal, you look up from your plate to watch the scenery surrounding you, appreciating the lush greenery of the commune that had been lost on you before.
The rays of the sun shine through the gaps between the leaves of the bright green beech trees encircling you, casting a gorgeous glow over the residence.
Gods, it's beautiful here.
You look over at Helaena, whose hair seems to shimmer in the sun. Her smile only highlights her beauty; lilac eyes kind with a glint of something playful.
“Do you want to help me with my insect farm today? I’m going to go check on the crickets now after breakfast”, she asks, tone as pleasant and upbeat as it always is here.
“Sure”, you reply, standing up to follow her.
She walks behind one of the small cottages, and an array of insect farms come into view.
They resemble little houses made of wood, and even standing a good few metres away, you can see insects crawling all over the wood.
Helaena moves between them swiftly, peeking inside to see how her favourite creatures are faring. You’d never understand her obsession with such creepy beings, but watching her now, you feel warmth in your chest. She looks so happy; so at peace.
This really is the perfect place for her.
She beckons you over to one of the miniature houses and you approach her wearily, unable to hide the aversion you felt for the bugs.
Helaena giggles as she sits down on the ground to gain better access to the farm, nodding her head in a silent instruction for you to do the same. You join her, though you sit down slightly behind where she is, hoping she can provide you some distance from the insects littering each piece of wood of the farm.
“Are you sure you have to leave by the end of the week? I’d love for you to stay here longer”, she sighs, eyes fixed on the insects in front of her. She’s brought a small pouch with her which she opens, fingers digging inside for some seeds to feed her six-legged friends.
“I have to get back to work”, you answer, already dreading the inevitable.
The constant stress, the sleepless nights, Gwayne's endless nagging.
Would you be able to sleep as well as you did out here back home?
Would sleep feel as serene?
Despite all the uneasy situations you’d found yourself in, an unfamiliar sense of calm settles on your chest, pushing down your anxiety.
Maybe things would be easier if you stayed out here? Just for a while longer?
You're pulled out of your thoughts as Helaena speaks up again, eyes still on the farm, hand now buried deep within its walls, placing seeds inside for the insects to fight over.
“I think you’d be better off here. I saw you in a dream, you know. You were smiling, wearing a beautiful crown of flowers, holding hands with Aemond”
You feel yourself stiffen.
“He told me you’d come when he invited me to live with him here”, she continues, eyes finally straying away from the crickets; meeting yours.
You want to tell her about what happened, but the words seem stuck in your throat.
Would she believe you?
Would she be disgusted with you?
“Hel, I-”, you begin, choking as tears well up in your eyes. You try to clear your throat so that the lump of sadness suffocating you goes away,
“I-, I don’t think Aemond likes me”, is all you are able to get out as unexpected tears spill out from the corners of your eyes.
You wish you could tell her more, but your body doesn’t obey you; mind feeling foggy and throat closing up.
You can't sort your thoughts, or feelings, out.
“Oh, don’t cry, love”, she says as she wipes away a fat tear sliding down your cheek,
“There's no reason to feel bad. Aemond likes you. He would never do anything to harm you. He cares for you so much”
Though her voice sounds genuine, her gaze seems to drift away as she talks about her brother.
“He’s cared for you ever since we were small, you know. Do you remember that summer when we were all together on Driftmark? Before Aemond lost his eye?”
You swallow thickly at the memory.
“You remember when you two asked me to wed you out on the beach because you wanted to stay together forever?”, she asks, voice gentle and a knowing smile playing on her lips.
The memory causes you to spill more tears. Everything was so much easier back then.
“Don’t you miss how close you two used to be?”, she asks, compassionate and caring.
Yes, you do.
“Yeah”, you let out, voice thick from sadness. “But everything changed after Aemond lost his eye. He-, he didn’t want to spend time with me anymore”
You sound so small; your own words make you feel like a child again, abandoned by your best friend.
“Well, we’re here now, together. So that we can all reconnect. We’ve missed you”
Helaena moves closer to you, throwing her arms around you and hugs you tightly.
You slump against her, burying your face in the crook of her neck. Despite all the weird interactions with Aemond during your visit, Helaena had been a constant; brightening your days and making you feel seen.
She was always so happy to see you.
She was always so genuine.
You pull away once your sobbing ceases, giving Helaena one last squeeze before mumbling a quiet “thank you”.
She smiles, wipes her thumbs over your wet cheeks and locks eyes with you,
“You’ll feel better once you’ve settled in properly”, she says with a smile.
You don’t really understand what she means but nod anyway.
Agreeing feels good.
Agreeing feels comforting.
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As you make your way back to your cottage, you spot Jon by one of the flower beds, watering the abundant plants fighting for space in their wooden confinement.
He doesn’t look much different from a few days ago, but when he spots you approaching, his slouching shoulders go rigid.
“Hi”, you say, trying to keep your voice light as you draw near him.
“Hey”, he replies, smiling in a way that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
Your eyes instantly move to inspect his hand.
The gauze has been changed recently, clinically white and neatly wrapped around his palm,
“How’s your hand?”, you ask, curiosity getting the best of you.
“Fine”, is all he replies as he walks towards the next flower bed, away from you.
He tilts the watering can, letting the water rains down on the flourishing plants.
“What Aemond did to you-, I-, it’s completely unacceptable”, you say as you trail after him,
“You could press charges you know”
Not that you actually think Jon would, for some unexplainable reason he had seemingly agreed to getting his hand slashed. But you wanted him to understand that this kind of behaviour was inexcusable, even if he'd consented.
Jon’s eyes darken as he turns his head from watching the droplets fall on the flowers to observe you.
“Aemond knows what’s best. No point in me going against him”, he says in resignation, eyes shifting again, looking out at the endless fields surrounding the commune.
“Aemond acted like a fucking psycho yesterday, you don’t have to excuse his behaviour”, you try to assure Jon, shifting your body to move a little closer to where he’s standing.
His eyes go wide in panic, quickly looking around to make sure no one is nearby.
“Do not say things like that”, he warns, voice barely above a whisper.
“Aemond and Alys hear everything. They have eyes and ears everywhere, especially Alys. She sees much and more”
His eyes have grown impossibly large, resembling those of an animal pestered by a predator,
“They say the Father is all-seeing; knowledgeable on all topics. Almighty. There are people here who-”, he pauses as his eyes again dart around in a stressed frenzy, making sure no one is listening in on your conversation,
“- who believe Aemond is the human embodiment of the Father”
Jon’s confession catches you off guard and you let out a snort at his utterance. His panicked eyes narrow in anger at you.
“You haven’t been here long enough to have seen what I have”, he tells you with a sneer,
“You do not understand the power that he holds”.
Though you'd initially thought Jon was someone you could become friendly with, you now find yourself backing away from him and his evident madness.
Aemond might be smart, but he is no deity.
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You’re slouching in the rocking chair in the corner of your room, trying to read the book Helaena had lent you.
This is the third time you feel like giving up; mind too fuzzy to fully take in anything you're reading.
Why is it so hard to concentrate?
To distract yourself?
You’d planned on giving your mum a call when you retreated to your cottage, but couldn’t even bear to pick up your phone.
She had a way of knowing what you were thinking, without you even telling her. She knows you so well.
Too well.
She would sense that something's off.
That there's something you're not telling her.
What if she figures out what you and Aemond had done?
You’re startled by a sudden knock on your door.
Quickly standing, you rush to the door, nerves on high alert.
Aemond’s ducks his tall frame as you pull the door open, face level with yours. You feel that familiar shiver run down your spine, making your body shudder slightly.
He looks as impeccable as always; hair half up so that the silver strands stay out of his face, button-down shirt and slacks perfectly form-fitted and ironed to eliminate any trace of a wrinkle; any indication of a flaw. His eyepatch is securely placed over his damaged eye, long scar poking through the sides.
“Can we talk?”, he asks, voice low and gentle.
You’re not sure what to say, and move to the side to allow him inside. For some reason denying him feels out of the question.
You go back to the wooden rocking chair, sitting down and pulling one leg up to wrap your arms around yourself, a meek attempt at shield yourself from whatever Aemond has in mind.
He sits down on the bed, back stiff and gaze darting around the room before settling on you.
“I wanted to thank you for yesterday”, he starts, face stoic.
“Thank me?”, you reply by reflex, not entirely sure of what he’s referring to.
He can’t be referring to what happened in the forest?
“Yes. I really appreciate you helping me out”, he continues matter-of-factly. You’re stunned, mouth half-open in disbelief.
“And I wanted to apologise for leaving you after. That won’t happen again”
His eye never leave yours. He sounds so sincere it is hard not to take his gratitude and apology to heart.
Still, the memory of what you’d done causes bile to rise in the back of your throat.
Forgiving him and moving on would be so simple.
“It’s okay, Aemond, we don’t have to talk about it anymore”, you mumble, eyes looking down to pick at the sleeve of the linen blouse you’re wearing.
You’d rather just forget.
Move on.
Never speak or think about it again.
It never happened.
“Alright”
He’s silent for a moment before he speaks up again,
“I also wanted to thank you for coming out here to visit us. It’s been so nice to reconnect over these past few days”
There he is again.
The boy who’d been your best friend all those years ago.
Fierce and attentive at once; contradicting in every way. His timid smile is still the same, just as inviting to mischief as it had been when you were little.
You still can’t quite find the words to engage in conversation with him. Half of you wants to run away from his unpredictability, yet the other half wants to stay and bask in it.
“I’ve missed you”, he continues. You know he is genuine when you look up to meet his gaze.
You’ve missed him too.
“I’ve missed you too”, you confess quietly. You can’t seem to look away from his eye. It's almost hypnotising.
“Wouldn’t you like to stay here for a while longer? I can talk to Gwayne”, he offers.
“Oh that’s not necessary, I have to go back. I already know I have a full mailbox waiting for me”, you quip, trying to sound witty. Aemond’s face remains impassive.
“I always wondered why you decided to work with my uncle. Such a waste of potential”, he muses as he regards you,
“I think you could achieve much more if you chose another path in life”
His expression is serious, still his voice is gentle.
Like he’s telling you, not advising you.
Before you have a chance to reply he speaks up again,
“I’d like you to join a sermon we’re having tonight. You could benefit from some guidance”
You can’t come up with a reason to decline his invitation fast enough, and Aemond lets out a pleased hum at your silence.
“Six o’clock in the Sept”
He stands and reaches his hand towards you, squeezing it in goodbye.
He leaves your cottage and you watch him retreat to the Sept through your window.
The tall building truly holds an imposing aura; the seven pointed star sinister in its daunting simplicity.
Unsettling.
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You enter the Sept right before six.
To your surprise, all residents of the commune are already seated, sitting in rows leading up to the unadorned wooden altar; carvings of the Seven decorating all sides of it.
The only one standing is Aemond, right next to the altar.
Next to him is a chair, and as you walk towards where the residents are seated, Aemond clears his throat and gestures for you to take a seat on the chair next to him, facing everyone.
“Please, join me”, he says and beckons you over.
Everyone present is watching you expectantly, leaving you no choice but to join Aemond and take a seat next to where he’s standing.
“Our guest of honour, everyone”
His voice is soft, yet you notice a hint of amusement hiding behind his stoic façade.
He says a short prayer, welcoming everyone to the sermon and expressing gratitude to all faces of the Seven.
“Today, I’d like to talk about forgiveness”, Aemond explains, and you watch as all residents observe him diligently, eyes rarely blinking.
He seems to hold such power within these seven walls.
Such authority.
“Granting someone forgiveness takes strength, given to us by the Warrior”
The residents are silent, but you see a few of them nodding along to Aemond’s words.
Helaena and Alys sit closest to where you and Aemond are, watching you attentively.
“All actions have consequences, and we must be reminded of this to prevent us from repeatedly committing wrongdoings. When I was 10, I was taught the consequences of my actions as my nephew brought a knife to my face, taking my eye”
His tone grows colder as he speaks, and you feel that all too familiar shiver run down your spine.
Only this time, you cannot shudder to make it go away. It stays at the base of your back; taking hold of you and keeping you in a state of acute uneasiness.
“Though I was consumed by hatred after being robbed of my sight, the Seven provided me with guidance, showing me the light in the darkest of times”
Aemond moves to stand in front of you, one hand coming up to pull the eyepatch that seemed to be a permanent feature on his face away.
You hadn’t seen him without it since the accident, and you have to stifle a gasp as you take in the entirety of his face.
The scar that your brother had branded him with is still red, still angry as you follow it with your eyes; starting at his forehead and ending on his cheek.
The socket where his eye had previously been is surrounded by scarred tissue; healed but still furious.
In the empty socket lays a sparkling sapphire, almost appearing alive as the light from the candles in the Sept reflects upon its surface.
The contrast of the beautiful gem nuzzled in the red, vexed scar reminds you of Aemond himself; full of rage and beauty.
“I’ll tell you the story behind this scar”
He moves to stand behind you as his hands rest on the backrest of the wooden chair,
“I was enjoying a day at the beach with my dearest childhood companion-”
His voice is borderline mocking. In your peripheral vision you see his knuckles go white from to the tight grip he has on the backrest of your chair,
“- though she adored me as well, she never defended me against the nasty remarks her brothers would throw my way”
His icy voice heats with anger,
“Having had enough of their torment, I defended myself, much like the Warrior would have. Like the Father, I demanded justice for their unbecoming behaviour. Yet, when I gained the strength to defend myself against my tormentors, the one who was supposed to be by my side abandoned me”
Although you can’t see him standing behind you, you can feel the infuriated energy radiating from his body. You desperately seek the resident's eyes for some sympathy, yet find none.
“That-, That’s not what happened Aemond”, you try to protest, but your voice comes out too weak to truly make an impact.
“Is it not? Then enlighten me. Did you not leave me to defend myself?”
One of the hands he has placed on the back of the chair moves to rest on your shoulder, squeezing it harshly.
“I didn’t-, you were fighting and I didn’t-, I was going to get an adult!”
You sound as desperate as you feel. The gazes of the residents feels burning as they regard you with disapproval.
You still remember how an innocent fight between children had escalated as soon as Aemond picked up a rock, refusing to take in your pleas to just let it go. Not knowing what to do, you’d sprinted towards the family’s summer house to get your mum or Alicent; anyone who could help you de-escalate the madness on the beach.
When you came back, Aemond was on the ground, screaming as he clutched his blood-covered face.
The memory makes you grow cold all over. That had been the worst day of your childhood; amplified by the fact that Aemond had refused to speak to you afterwards. Though your families had managed to mend the broken bond somewhat, Aemond had never looked at you the same.
“The Seven tell us that sins can be forgiven, and though I have forgiven you for this”, he gestures towards his eye, “you were never made to apologise for your transgression. I’d like to offer you forgiveness”
“Apologise to me”
He pushes at your shoulder, gesturing for you to stand in front of the onlooking residents. You heed his instruction, turning so that you're facing him.
"Kneel"
You get down on your knees, looking up at Aemond’s imposing stature. He is frightening, the clearly satisfied state of his face haunting you.
“I’m sorry”, you say meekly; low and defeated.
“Come on, you can do better than that”, he encourages.
His voice is loud and with a hint of poorly concealed amusement.
“I’m sorry”, you repeat, this time louder.
“You’re not going to address me when you’re on your knees, asking for my forgiveness?”, he asks, tilting his head.
You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling your face grow hot from the feelings rumbling in your chest; rage, sadness, betrayal.
Why is he so intent on humiliating you?
“I’m sorry, Aemond”, you bite out.
He approaches you, hand stretched out to touch your head, gently stroking your hair. He brings his hand down to cup your chin, tilting your head so that you look up at him; meeting his purple and blue gaze.
“I forgive you”, he says, and despite sincerity being evident in his voice, you cannot help but feel like this is all just a farce.
The onlooking residents stay silent, but you feel their eyes observe you like flames against your skin.
The only sound coming from the audience is from Helaena, who lets out a quiet “lovely” as her smiles at you and Aemond. You eye her in disbelief.
Does she not see how fucked up this is?
As soon as the sermon finishes you dart out the door, speedily walking the short distance to the cottage you’re staying at.
You cannot bear to stay in this madness for even a second longer.
You slam the door open, grab your belongings and stuff them down your bag with force.
The sun is setting and you know that there are no streetlights out here, only open fields and forest. You'll need to find your way back to the station alone, Helaena’s clearly as mad as the rest of them.
You peek out through the door. No one seems to be nearby and you know this is your chance to sneak away without being forced to face Aemond, Alys or Helaena.
The sun is hanging low on the horizon as you quickly move towards where you and Helaena had emerged a few days prior.
You walk briskly, the commune growing smaller as you move further away.
The forest that had mesmerised you with its beauty slowly turns terrifyingly imposing as darkness chases the comforts of daylight away.
Though you're sure you’ve been following the way you and Helena came, you soon find yourself at a crossroads in the middle of two paths, not knowing which will lead you back to the small village where the train station was.
As you briefly stop to contemplate your options, a dark figure appear on your side.
Jayne’s eyes are kind as she offers you a curt smile, reaching out to take your hand.
“Come with me”, is all she says before moving in quick steps, pulling you along the path to the right. You follow without protests; you wouldn’t know the way without guidance anyway.
You spot what looks like a street light ahead and you feel your body relax at the thought of being close to the train station, soon on the way back home.
Finally you’ll be able to leave this week behind.
As you come closer however, you start to recognise the small, wooden houses. In the middle stands a large, looming building with lights illuminating the seven pointed star in the middle.
You try to jerk your hand away from Jayne, but her hold on you is iron-like as she pulls you towards the Sept.
“Don’t worry”, she tries to reassure you.
“Soon you’ll realise that this is where you’re meant to be”
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Prospering
Jayne forcefully drags you into Aemond's office, quickly exiting to lock the door from the outside. You’re still in shock, adrenaline pumping through your veins.
You inhale deeply, trying to calm yourself enough to assess the situation.
Everyone here’s deranged.
You’re outnumbered.
You could fight as hard as you like, and you’d still lose.
You start to nervously pace back and forth in front of Aemond’s large wooden desk, attempting to expel some of the nervous energy within you.
They wouldn't hurt you, right?
That’d be mad.
You think back to the true crime documentaries you used to be obsessed with. The best thing to do was play along with the madness and strike when they least expect it.
Make them believe you’re not a threat so they’ll trust you.
You just needed to keep your head cool and play along a little while longer. Then they’d take you back to the train station and you could go back home.
A sharp rap on the door pulls you away from your thoughts.
You hear someone fiddle with the lock before the door opens slightly and Alys slips through the small crack. You can hear voices outside, but they quickly fade away as Alys shuts the door promptly.
She gives you a nod, expression as calculated as it always is. She’s carrying two wine glasses in one hand and holding an opened bottle of wine in the other.
“Oh relax”, she tells you with a smile,
“Have some wine, it’ll calm your nerves”
She places the glasses on the desk, pouring you both a serving each before putting down the bottle and handing you one of the glasses.
“Here’s to a prosperous future”, she says, raising her glass and giving you a nod. You match her gesture, bringing the glass to your lips as you watch her take a sip.
The wine tastes like the ones your mum usually orders when you go out to eat; rich and with some lingering spiciness.
“Dornish red. Aemond’s favourite”, Alys states. Her delicate fingers are wrapped around the stem as she holds the glass elegantly.
She seems to do everything with grace, never faltering. Never appearing clumsy or out of place.
It's hard not to admire her.
“You know he’s only trying to help you, right?”, she asks.
"I-", you’re quiet for a while as you rack your brain for something to say that won’t upset her, “I appreciate that, but I need to get back home and-“
“Just let him help you, okay?”
Though her voice rises slightly at the end, it doesn’t feel like a question.
You know that there is no room for argument. Alys has maintained her calm appearance, yet her eyes are so expressive; the only part of her face that she can’t force into submission.
Their intensity make the hairs at the back of your neck rise, demanding you obey her.
She downs her glass before placing it on the desk, leaving you alone yet again in Aemond’s office.
It’s gotten dark now, the sole window in the room not providing much light anymore.
You continue to sip the wine in your glass as you lean against the desk next to you. The alcohol might provide you with some comfort; sooth your anxiety.
A soft knock on the door announces the presence of your next visitor.
Helaenas’ silver hair brightens up the dark room as she enters. She’s holding a flower crown in one hand, beautifully crafted with wildflowers you recognise from the bouquets always adorning the table outside.
“Hi”, she greets with a smile.
You nod back at her, still not quite sure how to appraise her.
She’s been one of the people you’ve felt closest to your entire life, yet she seems to approve of the mad things happening here.
How can she not see how humiliating Aemond’s actions during the sermon had been?
“I made this for you”, she says and hands you the flower crown.
As your hands touch, her fingers linger on yours, tips dragging over your knuckles with a feather-light touch.
“Thanks”, you reply curtly, not sure of what to say.
You want to ask Helaena for the way back to the train station.
Ask her to come back with you to Oldtown.
But she’s so different here. She overlooks so much, agrees to so much.
Always with a smile.
“Put it on”, she urges, hands moving to the flower crown to help you place it on your head. You want to protest but you’re so tired of it.
Tired of asking questions.
Tired of going against everyone.
“There”, she says with a smile as she regards you, face even brighter than before,
“You look so beautiful”
“Hel..”, you try, tongue coming out to lick your lips as you choose your words carefully.
She’s still your dear aunt; still Helaena.
“I want to go back home, Hel. We could go together, if you like?”
Despite trying to keep your voice even, you sound a little frantic.
“No you can’t leave now”, is all she replies, dismissing you. She doesn’t appear to be upset by your words though, lips still forming a warm smile.
“Hel, listen. What you’re doing here is not okay. Aemond maimed a man! And he humiliated me in front of everyone. Something’s wrong with him”
Your eyes dart all over her face and stature to assess her reaction to your words. You’re astonished by her indifference, almost like she’s not taking your words in.
She places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly as her eyes lock with yours,
“All actions have consequences. We’re all made aware of that here. Aemond only wants what’s best for us. He’s worked so hard to provide us with this. You should be thankful”
She leaves you alone in the room once more, and as she exits, you hear her secure the lock on the door from the outside.
By the time you hear someone unlock the door next, you’ve finished the glass of wine Alys gave you.
The room is now illuminated by nothing but the light of the moon shining through the window, casting a silver glow over the office.
Matching the man entering.
Aemond’s tall silhouette appears, instantly making you straighten up, dread washing over you.
He has been so volatile during your stay here, making you feel unease by the mere sight of him.
You can still hear chatter and what sounds like furniture being shuffled around outside as the door is left ajar by Aemond, who moves towards you.
He stands so close to you that his feet are touching yours.
His face is stern, looking at you down his nose. Fighting the fright within you, you meet his gaze, refusing to give him the satisfaction of backing down too easily.
Still, you know that you’ll need to play your cards right, go along with the madness here momentarily, so that they’ll eventually let you go home.
“Why did you leave?”, he asks, eyes never leaving yours.
His voice is that unique mixture of being gentle and stern, demanding you obey him and tell him the truth.
“I tried to leave because of what you did to me during the sermon. What you did to Jon!”
You’re unable to hide the fear-laced irritation you feel at his audacity.
How could he expect you to stay? Wasn’t it obvious why you left?
“I might have been selfish for needing that apology, but it was necessary. Now we can move forward together”
He moves one of the hands he’s had clasped behind his back towards you, gently placing his it in yours.
Your gaze flickers down to where he’s holding you. Your hand looks so small and delicate in his large one. His touch is warm.
You scoff at his attempt to reconcile,
“Who said I’ve forgiven you for what you did?”
“You know you owed me an apology after leaving me alone with your vicious brothers that night”, Aemond says and he shuffles even closer to you,
“Do you think that what happened during the sermon can match the pain I felt when your brother took my eye?”
“N- no, but Aemond-"
“No. You’ll never understand the pain I’ve been through. But I’ve chosen to forgive you, and now we can move forward together”
His voice is slightly strained as he lectures you. His purple eye is piercing, and though you’d wanted to match his strength, you can’t help it when your eyes look down in shame.
“However”, he speaks in a lower tone, thumb moving to stroke the back of your hand,
“I am disappointed in your attempt to leave me and Helaena here without even granting us a proper goodbye”
“You’ll prosper here with us, but you’ll have to follow our rules. Dishonesty is not allowed, and your actions show that you attempted to act deceitfully".
His hand drops yours as he grabs your arms on both sides, swiftly turning you around and pushing on you back with a firm hand so that you're bent over his desk.
You’re too startled to fight back, letting out a yelp as you feel him tower over you from behind. He leans down over your body, hand still firmly on your back, pushing down,
“You have probably heard stories of whipping those who refuse to see the light. But I am no monster, so I will spare you from the whip”, he murmurs next to your ear, hand on your back trailing downwards,
“My hand will serve”
Before you’re able to reply, or even fully take in what he’s telling you, you feel his large palm make swift contact with your backside, the gesture causing a loud smack to echo through the quiet room.
You let out a startled cry in pain as you turn your head to face Aemond, confused betrayal reflected in how your mouth fall open and eyebrows rise.
His hand smooths over the material of your skirt where he’s just slapped you, somewhat soothing the painful sting on your skin.
“For being deceitful, I’ll give you five smacks. That’ll teach you to behave”,
The stoic gentleness of his voice borders on sounding amused as he takes in your shocked face.
Can you still play along?
What will happen if you resist?
While you’re trying to calculate your next move, Aemond’s hand land another harsh hit on your ass.
You sqeel from the pain, but quickly try to stifle the sounds coming out of your mouth.
Your painfully aware of the fact that he left the door ajar.
The residents outside might hear what’s happening. You feel tears well up in your eyes from the humiliation; from the stinging pain on your backside.
Aemond shushes you as he once again smooths his hand over your abused flesh in a comforting manner,
“You’re doing so well, my love” he tells you, eyes meeting yours once again.
You don’t understand why his words stifle the anxiety you feel, but they do.
“Only three more”, he states as he lands another stinging hit on your ass, even harsher then before.
You can’t hinder the tears that escape down your cheeks anymore.
“Good girl”, Aemond coos as he soothes your pain with his palm. Though the fabric of your skirt separates your skin from his, you can feel the warmth radiating off him.
Hearing him praise you shouldn’t sooth your pain, or make you feel better in the slightest, but it does.
You notice the soft look of satisfaction in his eye and you feel proud.
His hand lands on you quickly and you bite your lip desperately to not cry out. More tears slide down your cheek as you give Aemond a pleading look.
“Just one more, and then you’ve served your punishment”, he reassures you as he caresses your stinging flesh.
You close your eyes, bracing yourself for the last smack to land and when it does, you flinch before letting out a sigh of relief because you’d done it, you’d taken the punishment and now Aemond would be pleased with you.
The thought makes a warm sensation spread in your chest and when you open your tear-filled eyes, Aemond is already watching you with an expression that feels nothing less than loving.
While one hand stays on your backside to gently caress you, the other travels to you face, cupping your cheek. His thumb runs over your cheek, wiping away some of the wetness.
“You took your punishment so well. You make me proud”, he tells you, and his soft voice sounds so sincere. You lean into his touch on instinct, his palm providing comforting warmth to your cheek.
Being praised by him makes you feel happier than you’ve been in a long time.
It feels so good to be appreciated; to know you did something well. You can’t help but smile as your eyes lock with his. He smiles back at you.
“Now, I’ve got a surprise for you”, he tells you as he straightens up, grabbing your arm to link it with his. You know that there is more you need to talk about; more that’s unsaid. Yet, your mind feels fuzzy and you’re finding it hard to properly sort your thoughts out.
Aemond snakes his hand around your waist, pulling you closer to him and you lean into his warmth; it’s so comforting.
“Aemond, I-, I still need to know
”, your voice dies as you mentally search for a question.
What was it that made you leave?
Oh! Jon!
“Why did you cut Jons hand?”, you ask, hoping that the softness of your voice will prevent his impending irritation. You don’t think you could handle another punishment.
Aemond is quiet for some time, possibly pondering his response, before he speaks,
“Jon spoke out of turn, questioning my roles as the leader of this community. He now understands that everything I do is for the good of the commune and its residents”, he explains, arm still holding you by the side as his palm rests out on your stomach.
“Here in the commune, we know that scars tell a story; they remind us of our wrongdoings and guide us when we stray from the light of the Seven”
He stops in front of the door, turning slightly to look at you,
“You should be grateful I didn’t scar you, like I’ve done to others. Soon you’ll appreciate all that I've done for you”
He pushes the door to his office open, revealing the large hall where you’d been humiliated during Aemond’s sermon.
The residents of the commune are all facing you, watching you expectantly as you emerge from the office.
They’re all sitting on the exact same seats as before. The Sept is dark, illuminated only by the scarce moonlight shining through the seven-pointed star carved in the upper part of the buildings large walls, and by the candles lit across the room.
You see one of the residents standing by the altar where Aemond had stood during the sermon.
You recognise him as one of Aemond’s former professors in King’s Landing. The man is probably in his early to mid-sixties with grey specks clear in his brown locks. He offers you a smile as you approach with Aemond, his brown eyes warm and inviting,
“Welcome”
Aemond leads you to stand in front of the altar, arm still anchoring you to him.
“Is everything ready?”, your uncle inquires as his grip around you tightens.
“Yes. Let’s begin with the seven vows”, the elderly man says before reciting what sounds like a long prayer.
Having Aemond hold you makes you feel secure, and it takes you a while to really comprehend what is going on.
Why are the two of you standing here, instead of sitting with the other residents?
“Do you accept the seven vows, the seven blessings and the seven promises?”, he asks, warm eyes meeting yours.
“I do”, Aemond replies next to you, squeezing your waist in a silent command for you to do the same.
You turn to face him, brows furrowed in confusion.
What is it you’re agreeing to?
Aemond’s patience seems to run thin as you remain silent.
You notice his jaw twitch as he gives the resident in front of you a pointed look, prompting the man to respond in a quick nod before moving to join the onlookers.
Aemond turns to fully face you, yet he doesn’t move his arm, tugging you towards him so that your soft chest knocks against his.
“With this kiss, I pledge my love, and take you for my wife”, he says before he surges forward, crashing his lips against yours.
You stiffen in his grip, trying to back away from him but unable to move in his hold. You hear applause echo through the hall as Aemond retreats, a satisfied smirk on his lips.
You open your mouth to protest, but your voice is drowned out by the loud chanting of the onlooking residents,
“One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever”
They abruptly stand, chanting over and over as they move towards the large wooden doors of the entrance, going outside to leave you and Aemond alone in the Sept.
Even after the last person has left and closed the door, you can hear them chanting outside.
“One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever”
The slight tranquillity you’d previously found comfort in vanishes as you search Aemond’s face for an explanation; an answer as to what is going on.
His hand cups your cheek again, the loving look he’d offered you before you left his office still present,
“Your decision to leave tells me that you are lost. I’ll help you. I’ll help you see the light again”
You’re lost for words.
“I’m doing this for you. I know how much you crave to be loved. I’ll give you that. Just trust me”
His reassurance does little to calm your nerves as you feel dread pool in your gut.
“But Aemond, not like this, we can’t-”, you protest weakly. Despite the uneasiness taking root inside of you, your body betrays you as it still leans into the touch of his hand.
“I know how to fix you, just like I fixed Helaena”, he comforts you. His seeing eye seeks yours, silently inciting you to trust him,
“You were made for me, and I for you. I know you’ve been feeling lost for a long time. My uncle told me how depressed you were in Oldtown”
“The mother blessed women with wombs to heal their inner sadness. Becoming a mother will heal you”,
He pushes your body against the altar,
“We need to consummate our marriage, or it won’t be recognised by the Seven”
You feel dread settle in your bones as you take in his word.
“No, Aemond, please-, this is wrong! What would our mothers say?”, you desperately try to reason, panic making your breath quicker as he places his hands on either side of you on the altar; caging you in.ïżŒ
He lowers his head so closely that your noses touch, eye never straying away from yours,
“They’ll understand”
His lips find yours again. You know kissing him is wrong, yet your body melts into his touch as his soft lips press against yours.
Maybe they would understand?
Aemond’s tongue gently swipes over your lower lip, pushing to gain access. As he deepens the kiss, his hands travel down to your skirt, gathering the fabric in his grip before breaking away from you.
You’re both breathing heavily as you stay frozen, taking in each other's expressions. A thin line of translucent spit connects your lips and you notice Aemond’s eye flicker down to watch your kiss-swollen lips.
The conflicting emotions within you rage like the worst of storms, making your head spin. Aemond’s gentle prodding had successfully made you into putty in his hands, yet the uneasy feeling from before remains, steering you away from his control.
“No, no. We can’t, this has already gone too fa-”, you’re abruptly startled to silence as Aemond swiftly sinks down to his knees, pushing up the fabric of your skirt to expose your underwear.
You try to push your legs together but one of his hands quickly dart out to pull down the small piece of fabric separating your skin from his.
You place your hands on both sides of his head in an attempt to push him away, but his face moves towards your exposed centre with determination.
He grabs ahold of the outside of your thighs as he pushes your body towards his face, tongue immediately finding your bundle of nerves, swiping over it in rhythmic circles. Your grip on his head tightens as you push with all your strength for him to back away, but to no avail. He buries his face further into the apex of your thighs as he grips your tights painfully, fingertips leaving colourful marks of ownership.
You whine from the pain; from the pleasure building inside of you as Aemond forces your body into submission. He manhandles your right leg so that it rests on his shoulder, giving him further access to assault you with his mouth.
He sucks on your clit as he brings two fingers up to slide through your folds; the ease of which they glide lets him know the effect his touch has on you.
His fingers find your entrance, pushing inside to instantaneously curl forward, finding that spot inside you that always brings you waves of pleasure. You let out a startled moan as your hands go limp around Aemond’s head, simply resting there.
You close your eyes, violent pleasure making it hard for you to think clearly, just like how you’d felt in his office a few days ago.
Why does he have this effect on you? Why is he so good at this?
Why does it feel so good?
Another pathetic moan leaves your lips as he picks up the speed of his actions, purple and sapphire gaze watching you intently. You close your eyes once again, internally surrendering to his touch.
You want it. You need it.
You feel something ignite within you just as your peak crashes over you. The intensity makes your walls clench around Aemond’s fingers as you gasp in pleasure. Your legs shake from the force and you grab onto his hair for some stability.
He withdraws from you, slightly out of breath, and stands, large frame looming over you.
“No one else makes you feel as good as I do, no one else sees you like I do. We have found each other through the guidance of the seven, can’t you see that? We were meant to be”, he says and grabs your waist to hoists your slack body up on the altar.
He pushes your thighs apart, reaching down to undo his slacks and pulls them down just enough to free his length. It is just as intimidating as it had been yesterday; thick, veiny and ragingly red.
“You want this, I know you do”, he says before pushing inside you, causing you to whine at the stretch. You feel so full, and the impact of your orgasm makes your head feel fuzzy; like you’re floating away. Your walls contract around Aemond and he moans as he lowers his head to rest in the crook of your neck.
“You feel just as perfect as I knew you would”, he whispers in your ear. He draws his hips back, pushing them into yours with such force that your body jolts on the altar. You try to hold on to him with every harsh thrust, but your limbs feel too weak. It all feels so overwhelming, so good, that you can’t bite your lip hard enough to hinder the moans that bounce around the seven walls of the Sept.
One of Aemonds hands come down to draw circles on your clit once more. He pulls back slightly to watch you; to take in your pleasure-drunk expression.
“Let them hear you”, He presses down on your bundle of nerves harsher, still dragging his cock in strong, calculated movements along your walls.
The precision of his touch pushes you towards another peak, but when you feel it nearing, he withdraws completely, eyes flickering down to briefly admire the coat of your slickness adorning his manhood.
He grabs your hips, pulls you down from the altar and turns you around so that you’re facing away from him. Like in his office mere moments ago, he pushes on your back so that your chest makes contact with the wooden surface. He lets his cock glide through your folds before he leans down to mumble in your ear,
“Tell me what you want”
Robbing you of release has left you confused. Resigned and desperate, you let the throbbing between your thighs guide you,
“You, Aemond. I want you”
He pushes inside you again with a pleased grunt, picking up the pace quickly as he fucks you against the holy pedestal. Your hands grab both sides as it rocks in tandem with Aemond’s thrusts. His hand finds you clit again and this time you peak within seconds, pleasure washing over you as your legs turn into jelly.
You feel your legs give in, causing you to slide down on the floor. Aemond doesn’t let you go as he keeps fucking you, following you down to the floor. Your upper body jolts from the force of his movements, slowly slipping down to make contact with the cold stone floor.
He leans over you, pounding into you with force. One of his hands comes to rest above you on the altar, allowing him to fuck you harder, and you whine on the floor beneath him,
“Fucking take it”, he grunts as he goes harder, the contact of his hip bone against your abused backside sending stings of pain through your body.
His fingers find your clit again and you moan in pain-filled pleasure at the overstimulation, one hand reaching for his to push it away.
Aemond tuts behind you, “One more. Be good and give me one more”
You try to turn your head so that you can face him, but you’re unable to move, trapped under his body as he takes his pleasure from you. All you can do is take it; give in.
You cry out as you cum for the third time. Your walls clench down on Aemond’s length vigorously as they coax his release from him. You hear him sigh in pleasure as he fills you.
After a few moments, he pulls away from you, fingers moving to stuff whatever spend has trickled down your thigh back inside. You hiss at the pain. He whispers a gentle apology in your ear, helping you pull your underwear back up.
He stands and reaches down under the altar, picking up the flower crown that had fallen from your head sometime during the consummation. His fingers grasp it gently, placing it back on your head.
He looks so beautiful standing in front of you, the soft light from the candles and the silvery glimmer from the moonlight illuminating his features. He gives you another quick kiss before leading you out of the Sept to greet the residents still gathered outside.
As the two of you emerge from the building, beaming smiles, loud congratulations and well wishes for a prosperous future greet you and your husband.
Aemond never lets go of you, keeping you close to him as he chats with the residents; explaining his vision for the commune moving forward and the new role you’ll play as a permanent resident.
Somewhere inside, you know that you should feel ashamed over what just occurred; over the fact that the residents probably heard the entire ordeal as they patiently waited for you outside.
But all you can feel is bliss; a pleasant calm spreading from your chest. Heating up your insides.
Your life before now had been a long struggle, where you were forced to suffer. Forced to part from your closest childhood friend, forced to pursue a career to feel adequate, forced to live a mundane life in isolation.
Aemond pulls you away from the crowd, leaning down to whisper in your ear,
“Look up”
You see bright, green streaks of light decorate the dark night sky, accompanied by thousands of stars. It is the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen.
Aemond tugs you even closer to his side, resting his chin on your head as you silently admire the northern lights together. All you can feel is his warmth, the safety of being in someone’s embrace. Of being in Aemond’s embrace.
It’s warm.
Comforting.
Freeing.
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Thank you for reading! đŸ©”
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