#gotta move eventually
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#big ol emotional rant warning#haven’t spoked weed in a little over 3 weeks (by choice)#trying to find a psychiatrist or someone who can help me figure out better medications#bc what i’ve been on is seriously lacking esp since no weed#so far soonest i can talk w someone is july 24th#heat is disguesting#was taking allergy meds but those can cause dark headspace#gotta move eventually#gotta get rid of a lot of mu junk bc new place will be smaller#gotta rehome most of my fish and get rid of most my aquariums bc probs won’t have the storage space#period kicking my ass and was delayed a few days bc stress#still dreaming about her#i still have Addy but she took her two cats Bean and Muffin#she left bc my life is too much of a mess and it was taking such a toll on her#i haven’t had a job since 2020#interviews are now more than i can handle#DHS is a catastrophic mess but necessary#but idk if they can help any more towards my rent#mom is here helping me sort thru my hoarder lair but can’t stay forever#dreading living by myself again#she and i had been together for over 10 years#living together thru most of college and in this apartment for 3#feeling burried by life
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Misc Werehog magma doodles
#werehog#sonic the werehog#sth#sth fanart#chip#tw blood#cw blood#its not really all that much/v cartoony but playing it safe?#its there bc a. wanted to draw blood and b. its actually chili from a chili dog incident. very sad. quite tragic really#been playing unleashed again and i gotta say. i remember now why i loved the werehog levels so much but why i struggled#being able to tear into a horde of enemies as sonic is FUN (day and night). my favorite move is picking guys up and throwing them at others#unleashed my beloved. professor pickle i miss you every day <3#higher effort drawings coming Eventually. when theyre ready
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people on tiktok are about to lose magical girl au privileges smh
#ppl keeping coming in my comments to demand characters#or they’re accusing me of having not done certain characters#and it’s wild bc half the time it’s characters i have already added#they just couldn’t be bothered to check my account#but pls stop demanding characters of me i’ve already set a lofty list#and i’m just one guy#no one ever draws my fav character#so you should do it#draw them for free otherwise i’m gonna insinuate that you’re problematic#<- that’s what they sound like#i gotta believe these people are kids#bc their art etiquette is awful#there are too many characters in dc for me to draw them all and i would like to move on from this eventually#txt
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I know the decision to have Julian's parents have him augmented was made on the fly but imo its pretty obvious from early on that Julian has Family Issues because he avoids talking about his family like the plague and I think they should've incorporated this into the Julian and Sisko dynamic right from early on because I think it would've made for some really compelling stories and moments and could've set up a REALLY interesting Julian and Jake dynamic which they kinda started to do but never fully went for
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#benjamin sisko#jake sisko#s1 Julian being so young and eager to prove himself and latching onto Sisko as this mentor figure to look up to#seeing Sisko with Jake and low-key seeking that fatherly figure connection which he won't even let himself think about#Sisko seeing this young brilliant doctor who's got all the makings to be something great and he's just GOTTA help him along#I think he would also catch on pretty quick that Julian's got Parental Issues#he tries to ask one day all casual like 'tell me about yourself :)' and Julian talks about nothing but Starfleet and med school#any attempts to ask about his family are met with awkward brief answers and redirections#and then theres the way Julian's eyes light up the first time Sisko invites him to watch a baseball game#like he Knows. he's a dad he Knows somethings up#but he doesnt pry#I also think it makes their dynamic more tragic towards the end of the series#where we have Sisko asking Julian to compromise his morals again and again#Julian's trust and respect for him gradually deteriorating#and then at the end of course Sisko is gone and they have no idea when he'll be back#which I think Julian would have a lot of complicated feelings about#but of course theres also Jake#I imagine they'd get closer#very brotherly dynamic#you know that scene in TNG where Wesley goes to Riker for girl advice and Riker and Guinan start flirting?#absolutely happens but with Jake asking Julian for girl advice and Julian wooing a girl at Quark's and Jake absolutely loses the plot#makes the events of ...Nor the Battle to the Strong more intense as well I think#also I like to think there'd be an episode where the B plot is Jake gets mad at Sisko and impulsively decides to move out#ends up at Julian's because he did not think this through#Julian is now very much caught in the middle of this family drama and he Fucking Hates It#also him and Jake are NOT compatible roommates but he's trying so so hard to be nice#eventually they have a talk and Julian cryptically hints at his own home life and tells Jake he's lucky he has a dad who cares so much#them being closer would work into what Alone Together sets up for them
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former inquisitor telithal lavellan goth slay cyberpunk era concept
#dragon age#da#inquisitor lavellan#in all honesty in his incurable Depression era#but alas gotta get up do ur makeup and feel like it's your personal task to save the world forever. probably#looking forward to what the game says inky has been up to but i've tentatively hc'd he probably moved to minrathous at some point#also glasses at last..<3 man went thru inquisition & trespasser refusing to get any even though he's blind af without them#maybe he eventually gave in#they can also have a little tint. as a treat#also there's no way you can see stars there but i wanted some for the pic. lol
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Am I emotionally prepared to move years of work from Google Docs to Ellipsus today?
#the elf talks#I’ve been using Google docs since high school my dudes there’s so much#but like… I gotta move it all eventually anyway so
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Heard Meant to Burn on my Youtube playlist earlier, thought of this post and how it relates to my Parker interp.
The thing is, mine’s not human. He’s not even technically a living thing in the traditional sense. He was pretty much made to play Blaseball, only related to Aequitas because she was terrible at creating life from nothing and had to use what used to be a small piece of her as a base.
He was entwined with the splort from the start, his mascot-like appearance only adding to that connection.
He had pretty much been given to the Immortals by their biggest fan at the time, so his first connections were mainly with his team.
He… hasn’t really lived life outside of that context. Not even while Vaulted. Parker probably got tastes of life outside of Blaseball while he was free, and could try to live normally during Coronation and the pause between that era and Blaseball’s death, but… it was always there, wasn’t it? The thing he was made for, always there, waiting for his inevitable return. He got used to living in that context.
…What in the world does he do when it’s suddenly, without warning, gone? No sign of it ever returning? No word from the gods on why they were all Released? Sure, Parker could eventually find a new purpose in life (maybe even find it in one of the many hobbies he must’ve picked up over the years… being the world’s oldest 19 year old can get boring sometimes), but he himself is always going to be a visual reminder of what his purpose originally was.
How are you just supposed to move on from the thing that defined you for your entire existence?
#blaseball#parker macmillan#man born directly into his job has to deal with not having that job anymore#this definitely applies to the replicas too. they were all made to be commissioner. what exactly can fives be the commissioner of now?#(and yeah my aequitas… my aequitas did care about appearances so she did TRY to care about the parkers#…emphasis on TRY. once they stopped being useful she eventually stopped caring about each one#immaterial plane’s worst mom award)#this post is also just… me also being unable to move on. definitely not for the same reasons as parker but the pain is still real#…i really gotta work on my stagnation era stuff haha
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books i got while visiting italy :]
#scribble.txt#book tag#i actually meant to like. post about it eventually shshss#i might one day possibly move to italy so i gotta learn italian (hence i got the italian-english book)
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group of drunk guys crowd around my swing and keep shouting random shit and threats at me and i try really really hard to just ignore them but i keep corpsing whenever one of them says something particularly stupid
#kot#me: im not gonna say anything they'll get bored eventually#one of the dudes: how long have you been here#me: i got here after you guys did are you fucking stupid. oh shit my bad#one of them did try to grab my swing but after a couple tries i think he realized that as long as it was in motion i was a projectile#i was trying not to kick him but y'know. gotta kick to keep moving. and my boots are steel toed so i could have caught him without feeling#it i guess.#im pretty sure i didn't though.i think he just realized i could have.#anyway. fun times aboard the ss night walk.#sighhh all this shit woulda gone so different if id had headphones that actually stayed in instead of falling into the sand.
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hopefully this full moon bullshit ends soon so I can go back to being comfortable with my aloof disposition and total detachment from human life instead of being overly upset that 'I don't have close friends anymore/at all' and 'wah wah wah I'm severely, unhealthily lonely'
#bee blabs#fkn get over urself bee ffs#u know u can't have or maintain friends in the first place#which is exactly why u have no close friends#and then whenever u do get them u either rely on them too much or they eventually move on#look I don't think I was made to have friends#I'm a million different people to everyone ik#there's so many faces the stranger can wear and I try all of them on without even thinking#I withhold so much all the time on instinct#there's no wonder no one can get close to me#and it's not like I can just let ppl in like some kinda secret club#u gotta have a quality and if u don't have it#I'll never be truly me around u#and that's shit.#and then sometimes I just disappear without warning#and u never hear from me unless u contact me first#bc i'm so used to doing my own thing and being by myself#and it's not like I forget my friends but when I'm so far in my bubble I forget other ppl exist#or even care abt me for that matter#idk man ik there's something horribly wrong with me#but all I can do and all I've known how to do is retreat into myself and hide#do I prevent myself from being loved ?#maybe I do but I can't help my own fkn reflexes#like I said I need this full moon over so I can be indifferent abt shit again
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{{reread the strange music transcript and help. help. im so foolish. i thought nikolas been ringmaster a WHILE but the photo with nikolai denikin titles the ringmaster as gregor, and the photo was from 1948??? THATS SO RECENT
{{ the wiki says the timeline for breekon & hope leaving is weird because they left After the gorilla skin was stolen which supposedly happened sometime After 2006 (when daniel was anglerfished) but they supposedly took over breekon & hope company after they left which they took the company in 1993.
{{ the timeline for nikola killing gregor and becoming ringmaster is then most likely somewhere between 1948-1993 Minimum. slightly insane to me what do u mean she hasnt even been ringmaster for a century. what do u mean its possible she hasnt even been ringmaster for 50 years. what. huh. i think she deserves the 50 year mark at least. im saying she struck sometime soon after that photo. maybe later the same year or even just 1949 or 1950 idk.
{{ nikolai denikin died in 2004 and had spent the prior two years being looked after by his granddaughter. so he left the circus in 2002 at Minimum. potentially either result of gorilla skin or if the skin was taken After his leave then it could be that he either made a personal decision OR he had some sort of issue with nikola becoming ringmaster (maybe fond of gregor or thought her unfit or just. generally something or another.
#“🧸back yard🧸”#{{sorry guys i love denikin hes gotta be one of my faves even though we know so little abt him#{{the calliope is ICONIC#{{and the. the whole thing abt breekon & hope leaving and how despite listening to nikola they dont seem to think Particularly highly of it#{{and how aside from those two denikin is the only other circus member we know that definitively left???#{{and it makes me wonder just how the leadership change affected the whole circus#{{i need to know how it all went#{{and then on top of nikolas 'unpredictable' leadership THE GORILLA SKIN THE VITAL ARTEFACT FOR THE UNKNOWING IS LOST!!!!#{{WHILE ITS THE RINGLEADER!!!!#{{it thought it was ok to leave the skin in the trophy room but then. she was wrong and they lost their vital artefact#{{i swear i had another thought to put in here. oops. i cant remember#{{but anyways yeah i love the circus i miss u denikin please come back#{{how many people did the circus lose when nikola became leader.#{{how many more did they lose with the gorilla skin#{{OH YEAH#{{grimaldi retired sometime in the 1820s which is when i imagine nikola ran into the circus#{{i imagine in tma grimaldis death is a sliiight mystery. general consensus is that he wanted to spend his last moments alone#{{grimaldi was like in his 40s when he retired or whatever? more or less??#{{then grimaldi is remade by gregor and becomes nikola for the intention of being the dancer in the unknowing#{{and then in 1948 they have that little photo and soon after nikola decides she wants to be ringmaster now#{{at some point after nikolas promotion denikin leaves and is looked after by his granddaughter from 2002-2004 until he dies#{{breekon & hope leave anywhere from 1993 onwards#{{nikola eventually comes in contact and rehires them#{{OH YEAH I REMEMBERED MY THOUGHT#{{the calliope is also taken in 2004 but i think itd be funny if nikola chatted with denikins granddaughter to see if she'd be +#{{interested in taking over her grandfather's former position#{{in response to this grand offer. leanne moves to south asia.#{{ok reading wiki more. she moves in 2014 ok whatever.#{{also the calliope ended up in the magnus institute around 2007 before the circus stole it back sometime in canon???#{{idk. timeline stuff smh
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Karen has four older brothers and this is Ross! He's the second oldest and he looks rather polite and smiles a lot and when he's at work he can behave most of the time... but he really has such a foul mouth it puts Right to shame.
And Karen when she was a kid couldn't pronounce S's and they sounded like Z's. So when her brothers would be leaving for school she would say "enjoy zool" and just. Could NEVER say Ross's name correctly so he told her to just call him Oz. And it stuck but only with Karen. She's the only one to use it and no one else is allowed.
#my characters#also fun fact she has decided to legally rename him for when shes mad at him#so instead of yelling his full proper name#she will yell OSWALD THOMAS WILSON which is the fake first name but actual middle/last#and its just thats a guy that she wouldnt want to admit to knowing if she saw him in public#hes actually p short so yeah hes a short king#the oldest bro and the second youngest are both taller#the middle middle is basically the same height as him so karen really is just the wittle bab#and all her brothers are super protective of her bc thats their baby sister#she does however have a strong sense of I GOTTA PROTECT THE MIDDLE GUY#so she is kinda used to standing up for older guys just bc of he#but it comes into being a problem when she meets rick and is like fuck it he may be older but#he is too kinda for this world and also theres no way i can love him hes basically a baby brother#and she will pick on him but also would absolutely throw hands for him#and and i know the tags are long as is but eventually karen and rick move past the whole youre like a brother vibe#and they become very good friends - still zero romance involved - but she starts to treat him less like a family member#and it makes him feel less awkward and in turn he feels more open to joke sometimes#cause for a long while rick is just this is really awkward and i wish we would stop matching on dating apps but she wont leave me alone#so its rude to turn her down when she offers a friendly drink to check up on me#but its actually karen being protective older sister mode despite being the youngest of five#this is the most i have managed to draw in like two weeks i think#now im super tired bye
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Do you think there are any ways ID software could fix or improve doom’s story in a sequel to doom eternal or is the only fix a full reboot?
Tbh i don't think there really needs to be a sequel doom game. For as messy as modern doom's writing is, I actually like the general premise of how it ends. Doomguy has already sacrificed so much to stop hell, he has already dedicated everything he is to this sole goal. It's thematically fitting that he would have to kill himself in the final blow. And that's clearly MEANT to be The End. Hell has been well and truly stopped, and doomguy is dead. No more loose ends. It's over. No more doom. The End.
That said, because of how modern doom is, ther ARE loose ends, and in fact, there's one very, very BIG loose end that leaves a lot of space for a potential sequel. The whole premise of TAG was that killing Davoth would destroy anything outside his realm that he made, ie any demons outside hell get vaporized. But then, the reason Doomguy dies at the end is because Dav, in theory, made everything, including Doomguy, so Doomguy goes down too. But then, since Dav made everything, Earth and humanity should also be destroyed, which is, y'know, kind of exactly what Doomguy was supposed to be stopping. So either there's some sort of loophole, or else humanity is still in imminent danger, and either way, there is potential for another story.
BUT.
The reason we're here to begin with is because of poor writing that prioritizes "wouldn't it be cool" and "what can we use to make an attractive trailer" over consistent, coherent, and in depth story. And since the current writer is the same writer who got us here... well, to be honest, I wouldn't put a whole lot of faith in a sequel OR a reboot.
(Not to mention that said current writer is the one who wrote the current big, final The End of TAG2, which implies he didn't intend for there to be a sequel. So any sequel written right now would be either him going "well, ACTUALLY-" yet again, or else the publisher pressuring id to make another doom game for money, and, well, y'know, neither of those things have a great history of working out well for good game development.)
So while I don't personally think any sort of sequel to Eternal/TAG is really necessary, they probably could make a pretty decent one... if they had a better writer. But they don't, so I'm not gonna hold my breath waiting.
#doom#pikspeak#bideogaem rambling :)#i have some Ideas about how stuff could happen post tag and#its stuff ill probably eventually get around to exploring in some form of fan content#(see: the start of that ask blog that i still have on hiatus... gotta get back to that eventually. maybe after dark ages comes out.)#but i think that stuff works better as fan content. i wouldnt want it to be official canon content.#i know they wont bc doom is id's Big Name cash cow but personally i think they should be done with doom#put it down and move on to a new franchise. the longer they keep trying to squeeze it dry the worse its gonna get.#i think tag2 being The End Of Doom works well enough for what it is#and hugo clearly wants to write warhammer 40k instead of doom. so just. let him.#let him make up a whole new ip or something n go wild instead of beating the dead horse he pretty apparently intentionally killed.#but again. they wont. bc doom makes money.#is that an unpopular opinion? thats probably an unpopular opinion. idk
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One of my biggest regrets is that I never drew as a kid. I did draw a little, but never really outside of an art class or anything better than a stick figure. Luckily for me, I can just start now! So, I'm going to slowly learn to draw. I'm thinking of posting some of it occasionally here as a way to keep a record of my progress and to just put some of my thoughts down.
I don't have a lot to say about this one except that shading is pretty nifty and it feels so much easier to draw a character without hands, hair, and a face. (All I have to do is just never draw a character with any human features!)

Drawing expressions is so fun! I have a lot to learn about it, but something about it just fills me with joy. I was testing out different small changes and I think the big smile is my favorite, though I like most of them.

I can draw Siffrin! It's not great, but I can draw the silly little guy. The bottom half is a bit rushed because it was 12 at night. There's a ton of things I want to do differently and better next time, but for now this will do.

I don't want to talk about it...
It was more about trying the technique and I'll get better at it eventually...

#i want to move to digital art eventually but i gotta walk before i can run#this also makes me notice so much more in other people's art#small things that made a difference that i never really thought about#tenrats art
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Tbh I think the whole class should get to smooch hajime. It’s what he deserves
im imagining hajime sitting in a kissing booth looking like lucy from peanuts in her psychiatrist booth. kisses are 5 cents. the hajime is IN.
#hajime deserves the love <3#LMAO im trying to imagine the line up>>#teruteru BOLTS for the front but quickly gets crowd surfed to the back of the line. chiaki is in line too but she's getting distracted#by her game and isn't moving forward so whoever's behind her just cuts. kazuichi is like 3rd in line bc logically speaking#if he's FIRST in line he'll look THIRSTY for his BRO and that would be CRAZY! BUT!!! no way he's gonna be LAST that's his SOUL BRO ok#if anybody deserves haji bro kisses around here it's HIM!!! 😤#nekomaru finds it to be a great team building exercise!! remember to kiss with your CHEST!!! 💪🏼 akane thinks it's a competition of sorts#OOPS so she tries to give hajime the Strongest Kiss Ever. does not go well but her enthusiasm is appreciated 👍🏼#ibuki will get a kiss and then run BACK in line to see if she can sneak another one :3c#gundham kisses hajime WITH TONGUE!!!!! lmao jk gundham would definitely be like 'nobody touch me >://(' but eventually....#he sends his sneakiest Dark Deva to run up to hajime and steal a kiss when nobody is looking... >://)c kheheheh!!#nagito is content with remaining last in line bc he's just happy to see his classmates having their little hopeful moment :) without him :)#(he does eventually get his kiss tho dw)#and uhh if you give mahiru like a dollar she'll take a pic of the kiss LMAO#ALRIGHR ALRIGHT I GOTTA STOP this is too long. god. appreciate this fucking post anon 🙏🏼#sdr2#danganronpa
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i've been a silent follower/supporter of ur work and i'm such a fan of your neo, i hope u keep creating cause it inspires me so much!!
HELLO??? THANK YOU THOUGH!!
Thank you for the kind words and enjoying my Neo!!
#Ask#kaelosmythos#I move 99% by self indulgence so I eventually gotta draw Neo more again#I'm still surprised when people like my interpretation so MUCH
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