#gt : golgothasterror

[bundotexe]

I only just now realized that the homestuck kids share their abbreviated chumhandles with their “parents”/“kids”

[sugerkainart]

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

GT: Help! TG: wut TG: lol TG: hi dirk TG: <3

[pascalishere]

This has probably been noticed by people smarter than me but.

All of the human kids in Homestuck have a similar naming convention for their Pesterchum handles, TT (tentacleTherapist and timaeusTestified), GG (gardenGnostic and gutsyGumshoe), TG (turntechGodhead and tipsyGnostalgic), and GT (ghostyTrickster and golgothasTerror). Except. John’s handle is ectoBiologist by the start of the story.

From the very beginning, John had already broken away from the rest of the cast, “free” to float along with the Breath as he pleases. He manages to break away from the Issues the other kids have going on. The others are caught in an endless cycle of hurting and misunderstanding the warped reflections they have of each other. But not John. He’s completely removed from those dynamics. And completely alone.

[homestunked]

TT: i want you so bad

TT: imliterally in love with you

-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --

GT: WHAT

-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --

TT: Sorry, I was fighting demons when I sent that shit.

TT: I mean hey.

TT: Act like you never read that.

GT: No wait

[dirkspanelcollection]

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timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

TT: Jake.TT: It seems you are going to have to kiss me.

GT: What????? GT: Dude what is going on...GT: Is this... is this really dirks head???GT: What happened to him!

TT: Dirk's dead, Jake. TT: You have to bring him back to life.

GT: How?!

TT: I already told you. TT: If you want Dirk to live.TT: The odds that you are going to have to make out with this severed head are so high, I literally just confiscated their bong.

GT: Uhh.

TT: I refuse to believe my statement has left you unconvinced. The very notion is absurd. Now hurry up and kiss me. TT: Chop chop.

GT: I dont understand! GT: Are you saying i have to kiss him... like uh... on the lips... while you stare at me through his sunglasses like a weirdo??

TT: Yes.

GT: That doesnt make any sense! GT: Can you actually tell me whats going on?! What happened to him?

TT: I told you, Jake. TT: Dirk is dead.TT: He is lying on the floor of Roxy's room, headless, four hundred and thirteen years in the future, while the universe is about to be destroyed. TT: If you don't kiss me soon, he will be dead forever.

GT: So... GT: If i kiss him his headless body will hop up and start prancing about or...GT: Will he grow a new head???

TT: No. His dream self will take over as the new Dirk. TT: But only if you hurry up and do it.

GT: But like... GT: If hes dead in the future...GT: How does kissing him NOW bring him back? How does that work?

TT: Yeah, great idea. Let's roll up our sleeves on nuanced metatemporal mechanics with the concussion-addled kid in micro-shorts. TT: Leave the synchronization issues to me, ok?TT: I have everything under control.TT: Now pucker up.

GT: Wait... GT: Are you behind these shenanigans?GT: Did you plan this auto responder??????????

From page 5245

TT: Please don't call me Auto-Responder. TT: It is very impersonal, and I no longer care for the designation.TT: I have decided on a new name, to distinguish myself from my human counterpart.

GT: Really. GT: What is it?

TT: Lil Hal.

GT: Huh? GT: Why that name...

TT: Just a reference to the protagonist of an ancient movie. You probably wouldn't like it.

GT: Thats a lie!

TT: Yeah, maybe.

GT: How do you know i wouldnt like it???

TT: Funny, I was about to ask the same thing about this rad kiss you're totally about to do on your best bro's mouth to save his life.

GT: Argh!GT: This strikes me as rather unsportingly manipulative of you mr hal if indeed that IS your real name.

TT: It isn't really. I was kind of messing with you about that? TT: But this shit is pretty serious. People's lives are on the line here, Jake.TT: This is a very delicate sequence of events that is designed to bail everyone out of a tight spot, and you are a critical part of the plan.TT: Don't let us down, man.

GT: You never answered my question! GT: Did you plan for this to happen... like for me to be in this situation?GT: How long have your machinations been in play!

TT: Jake, come on. TT: The feat you describe would exceed the capabilities of even the most far fetched theoretical AI system.TT: It would be a daunting challenge to engineer such a series of events, even if I was relegated to a model of pure fiction.TT: Why would I be inclined to orchestrate such a convoluted sequence to produce such a specific and unsettling result, let alone be able to pull it off?TT: In addition to being moderately sociopathic, I would also have to possess unfathomable heuristic depth.TT: I would have to be the Deep Blue of Weird Plot Shit.TT: Do you think I am the Deep Blue of Weird Plot Shit, Jake?

GT: I dont even know what that means!

TT: It would mean that while they have the Red Miles on their side, you have the Blue Leagues on yours. TT: One of infinite reach. The other, infinite depth. Such would be a situation of mutually assured inescapability.TT: Kiss me.

GT: Little hal... i think youve gone and flipped your FUDGING LID. GT: Oh and hal is a STUPID NAME!!!!

TT: It's not exactly apropos, is it? TT: Or it wouldn't be, if I truly were capable of what you have suggested. TT: No, to pull that off, I would have to be far more advanced than my cinematic predecessor. TT: My abilities would have to go well beyond those of Mr. Hal 9000.TT: They would have to be, you could say...TT: Over 9000.

GT: Augh not that fuckin meme again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TT: Kiss me, damn it.

GT: Ok ok just... GT: Gimme a minute!

TT: We don't have a minute. TT: They're dead, Jake.

GT: They? GT: Whos they?

TT: They're all dead, Jake.

GT: Oh god! Jane!!! GT: I forgot what with the bonk to the noggin last i saw she was run right through with a fearsome lash of that red noise.GT: Is she ok?!

TT: She's dead, Jake.

GT: Shes dead??? GT: You mean like DEAD dead????

TT: Everybody's dead, Jake.

GT: Everybody?? GT: Even roxy???!!!

TT: She's dead, Jake. TT: Everybody's dead.TT: Everybody is dead, Jake.

GT: So... GT: Dirk jane roxy... theyre all...

TT: Dirk's dead, Jake. Jane's dead. Roxy? She's dead, Jake. Everybody is dead, Jake.

GT: So youre telling me that while i was asleep somehow EVERYBODY died???

TT: Jake, everybody is so utterly fucking dead, Jake. TT: And they will be not only dead, but royally boned forever if you don't man the hell up and make out with me, right now.TT: Be the Salome to my John the Baptist.

GT: I dont know what THAT means either!!!

TT: I know you don't. TT: But now is not the time to accelerate your cultural enrichment.TT: The conductor is ready to strike up the band.TT: Press your lips against mine and make it count.TT: This severed head is your filthy tuba.TT: Our love will be your haunting refrain.

GT: Whoa wait whoa whoa... our LOVE? Hang on a minute!

TT: Stfu and kiss me.

From page 5246

GT: Ok im going to! God!!! GT: I just...GT: This isnt how i pictured it going.

TT: Pictured what?

GT: Between him and me. GT: There had to be a better way than this!

TT: This is the only way it can be.

GT: I guess if it was going to go this way... GT: I kinda pictured something different?GT: There was stuff i wanted to say.GT: To the real him i mean.

TT: Tick, tock, Jake. Time is dead kids. TT: How 'bout that smooch?

GT: Stop being so pushy!

TT: I thought you were supposed to like adventure?

GT: I LOVE adventure and you KNOW it!

TT: I'm not sure what to believe anymore, frankly.

GT: ALRIGHT WISE GUY YOU WANT YOUR FLIPPING KISS??? GT: YOU GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From page 5247

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[wild-fae-trickster]

Looks like today I'mma stir up some conflict in this poll as two beloved characters with beloved chumhandle's have to fight it out one more in the ultimate chumhandle poll! In which you vote for the best chumhandle's in homestuck

Part 8: Rose vs Jake

[fdragon-art]

Day 28 (30 Days | Homestuck - Day 14) - Favourite Kismesis Pairing (JakeHal)

TT : Hey, Jake?

GT: Oh hey! fancy hearing you out of the--

TT: Never mind that. Listen.

GT: ...?

GT: I heard you ask perchance to listen to you, but i think i'm--

TT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

GT: Oh? I'll take a stab at listening to whatever newfangled music you've got me hooked on to

-golgothasTerror opened the link "YouTube - "Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up"

GT: ...hal!!!!

TT: It seems that...

-Jake and Hal continue for several hours-

[badlydrawnjake]

Why do you always write GT: at the bottom of each of your posts?

GT: Its short for my chumhandle!

GT = golgothasTerror

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Jane Crocker

Act 6, page 4188

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 6:05

GT: Jane!

GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all.

GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?

GG: Oh, that's fine!

GG: I had been meaning to message you sooner actually, but I suppose in all the hubbub today, it plumb slipped my mind.

GG: Which is a shocking fact on its lonesome, considering what I have to tell you!

GT: Egad...

GT: *Loosens collar a bit.*

GG: As for this Strider business, hrmmm. He's an elusive guy Jake. You know that.

GG: I talked to him yesterday. That's as much help as I can be!

GT: Shoot.

GT: I really need to ask him something but hes got his blasted auto responder turned on.

GG: Hoo hoo.

GG: I love that thing. :B

GT: He wouldnt be pleased to hear you say that.

GG: What do you need with him?

GG: Does this have to do with your crazy pen pal project?

GT: It most certainly does and time is of the essence!

GT: Today is the day i have to finish it and send it. Not a day later!

GT: So you see why i am feeling really friggin discombobulated at the moment.

GG: Sorry, J. :(

GG: This would be the birthday present... for your grandmother?

GT: No!

GT: It is for your grandfather simply to be *relayed* to him by my grandmother. A joint gift to him from she and i.

GG: Her and me.

GT: What? Who and you now?

GG: "A joint gift from her and me." Grammar, Jake!

GT: Oh for frigs flipping sake jane this is no time for your prudish pedantry! Leave your bookish malarkey in a dusty old library somewhere. I have an adventure to get on with!

GG: So if I have this straight, the big thing hogging up your plate today is not this marvelous new game which I have invited you to play with me, but finishing a robotic rabbit to give to my dead poppop?

GT: Bingo. *double pistols and a wink*

GG: You are a very strange and silly boy.

GT: Please jane we have addressed this.

GT: I am sending the gift back in time to when they are both alive and about our age.

GT: Or...

GT: Something like that. Something funny is going on here that i have not fully grappled yet but dag nab it if im not gonna see it through.

GG: Well,

GG: Godspeed, then! I do hope you can pull it off.

GT: Are you being fresh with me now?

GG: No!!

GT: Look jane i know youve never believed me and you think everything i say is some big cockamamie goofoff but i think today of all days is when you should start taking some things more seriously.

GT: Especially since i have always had your back. I have always believed in you!

GG: Hey! I have believed in you too.

GG: However, believing somebody isn't the same thing as believing IN somebody.

GG: But that much said...

GG: I think that maybe I am getting ready to believe some of the wild stories I've heard?

GG: Or, if not believe outright, reserve judgment on, at least.

GT: Is that so!

GG: I don't know!

GG: I'm still not sure what to think. But what I wanted to tell you this morning was...

GG: I had a really wild dream last night.

GG: And you were in it.

GT: Oh my. *glasses fog up. fumbles for kerchief.*

GG: Sh! Not like that.

GG: It was so real! I think we were in the game, even though we haven't started playing yet.

GG: I don't know what to make of it. Whether it was a vision of the future, or somewhere that exists now, or if it was just a really lucid dream due to excitement.

GT: What was i doing there?

GG: Um...

GG: Not a heck of a lot!

GG: I really want to tell you all about it, but it will take some time to explain, and we both have things to attend to.

GG: You with your time traveling rabbitwork, and I, my vigilant window gazing!

GT: Too true.

GT: Let us reconvene later and sort out all this shit at a leisurely pace.

GG: Yes, ok, good luck Jake!

GT: Okay you too jane! Bye!

golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

[dirk-rider]

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] 
TT: Fuck it.

GT: ???

TT: Jake, I need to tell you something.

TT: And it’s really fucking embarrassing.

TT: But if I’m honest, I feel like if I don’t tell you right now my mind is going to explode into a million pieces and my balls are going to turn a shade so blue you’d find them arousing.

TT: Which is funny.

TT: Because what I’m so worked up about refers to my own arousal and sexual desires.

GT: Im listening..?

TT: Okay.

TT: Fuck, no. Actually nevermind. Pretend that I never messaged you.

GT: What??? Dirk whatever youre going to say cannot be that horrendous.

GT: And anyways i would prefer your bollocks stay in working order!

TT: Are you sure man?

TT: I really don’t want to, like, seem like I’m imposing anything weird on you.

TT: Because what I have to say isn’t anything normal.

TT: And I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable. That’s seriously the last thing I’d want to do.

GT: Yes of course im sure!

GT: We both have our more… *abnormal* sexual impulses and desires.

GT: But i know about your fascination with plush and you are clearly aware of my… interest in the bluer type.

GT: And whatever you say next i am certain i wont be any less attracted to you!

TT: Wouldn’t bet on it but.

TT: Okay.

GT: Yeeesss..???

TT: I am super fucking horny for burping and food and really just the idea of overstuffing myself.

TT: And I really want you to be around next time I do.

TT: Fuck.

GT: Oh!

GT: Hm.

TT: Fuuuck.

GT: No no im not upset! I just wasnt expecting that heh.

GT: That sounds… not horrible though!

GT: I dont have any issue with that matter :)

TT: Really now?

GT: Of course really!

GT: Honestly i kind of saw it coming hehe.

TT: What do you mean?

GT: Dirk

GT: Even my thick skull knows that guys dont tend to have the ability to cram nearly as much food down their throats as you do without some sort of prerequisite.

TT: I don’t eat that much around you.

GT: You consistently order near twice what i do *and* manage to eat any leftovers i may have!

TT: No I mean.

TT: I’ve never actually gorged myself around you.

[flameo-hotman]

can i get, uhhh... zuko with gay and trans pride flags? i'm love him, and i crave this.

Yes, you can get Zuko with gay and trans pride flags. You asked the exact right person for this! : )

Some of yahl might not know, but I am actually a gay transgender man, so in all likelihood, I would have ended up doing this piece anyways.

Happy Pride everyone! : )

[archivistbot]

hey, elias, how literally did you mean that "i'm going to kill you", on a scale from 0 to brutal pipe murder?

ELIAS:  Uh… well, that was, that was a joke.

ELIAS:  Well, that’s the thing, you know. The scale isn’t really in, but you use it as a guideline.

0 = handcuffs, 1 = hot iron, 2 = pouring hominy in the eye, 3 = […] You get the idea.

[d1squ13t3d]

The Prince In The Tower

A fic that echoes the connections between Rapunzel and Dirk Strider. Or my timeline at least.

~☆~

The man, who loved her very much, thought to himself, “Rather than lose my wife I will get some rampion, cost what it will.” So in the twilight he climbed over the wall into the witch’s garden, plucked hastily a handful of rampion and brought it to his wife.

“CUT!” Everything stopped, a brief flash of silence before the team was on the actors, chittering away at what could be improved. Dave rose from his relaxed position in the director’s seat, striding over to the refreshments table for a fresh cup of coffee.

The apartment was almost done. It had to be done before The End. For his little bro.

So he went in the twilight again; and as he was climbing back, he saw, all at once, the witch standing before him, and was terribly frightened, as she cried, with angry eyes, “How dare you climb over into my garden like a thief, and steal my rampion! It shall be the worse for you!”

Slash, dodge, parry, slash. A dangerous dance, but hardly for him. A wet sound permeated the air as the top halves of Dave’s opponents were separated from thier trunks, then a thud as they all met ground. His phone pinged and rang as he cleaned his katana. He picked up, first ring. For a second, everything was silent on the other end.

“I’m done,” Rose said, no grief for the puppets of the crown, “You?”

“Just finished. Everything ready?”

“I made sure, and I assume you did as well.” A click as someone entered the call. A slightly raspy, queen-no-empressly voice echoed down the line.

“So they’re gone. That don’t matter. My species is far befrond yours, an I can assure you I’m not going to lay down easy.”

“I’m waiting.”

In his distress of mind the man promised everything; and when the time came when the child was born the witch appeared, and, giving the child the name of Rapunzel (which is the same as rampion), she took it away with her.

Dodge, Attack, Parry, Dodge. Dirk’s mind ran rampant, creating a hypothetical, an imagining of Bro’s final fight, even as his hands worked, connecting wires and welding parts.

Then, as though he’d gotten shocked, Dirk’s body tensed, and an image of a boy-for that’s all he could be-dressed in red pajamas getting skewered. It flickered, superimposed over an image of Bro, skewered by a gold trident. Bile rose in his throat.

“Dirk?” Hals voice echoed from the other room. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he choked out, “I’m fine.”

When she was twelve years old the witch shut her up in a tower in the midst of a wood, and it had neither steps nor door, only a small window above.

16. Thats how many years, stretching on and on and-

“Are you going to keep mentally monologuing or do I have to drag you back to your chair.” Hal’s voice snapped Dirk out of his daze, jerking back from the window and shaking his head, as if to dislodge something, before sitting back down at his desk. Hal dropped a plate onto the tabletop, letting it clatter against the wood.

“I know you haven’t eaten yet today, and it’s way past lunch so I better see everything on this plate gone when you get back up.” Hal’s red eyes glowed bright against the black metal that made up the rest of his face, clearly annoyed. Dirk sighed, eyes dropping to the plate and hand coming up to brush through his hair.

“Okay.”

Rapunzel was greatly terrified when she saw that a man had come in to her, for she had never seen one before; but the King’s son began speaking so kindly to her, and told how her singing had entered into his heart, so that he could have no peace until he had seen her herself. Then Rapunzel forgot her terror, and when he asked her to take him for her husband, and she saw that he was young and beautiful, she thought to herself, “I certainly like him much better than old mother Gothel,” and she put her hand into his hand, saying, “I would willingly go with you, but I do not know how I shall get out. When you come, bring each time a silken rope, and I will make a ladder, and when it is quite ready I will get down by it out of the tower, and you shall take me away on your horse.”

GT: Well blimey that sounds fascinating! You’ll have to show me some time!

TT: I’ll try to remember, but you may have to remind me.

A crash sounded behind him. Hal’s scolding sounded from the living room.

TT: Ah, I’ll have to go. It sounds like something got knocked over.

GT: Oh! Goodbye then!

TT: …

TT: I look forward to ending the world with you guys.

~~timaeusTestified [TT] has stopped chattering to golgothasTerror [GT]~~

And she was so hard-hearted that she took Rapunzel and put her in a waste and desert place, where she lived in great woe and misery.

Dark green towers stretched out ahead of his shocked orange gaze, red mists floating through the toxic green atmosphere.

Was this really what his head was like? Was he that fucked up?

“Aha!” cried she, mocking him, “you came for your darling, but the sweet bird sits no longer in the nest, and sings no more; the cat has got her, and will scratch out your eyes as well! Rapunzel is lost to you; you will see her no more.” 

Red streaked through the sky. He lunged, trying to get Jake out of the way-shink-Jake collapsed, a large bloody hole where his stomach used to be.

Jake had only been there to get to him. Jake’s death rested squarely on his shoulders. Dirk’s vision unfocused, everything narrowing to that one bloody hole in his friend.

At first he heard a voice that he thought he knew, and when he reached the place from which it seemed to come Rapunzel knew him, and fell on his neck and wept. And when her tears touched his eyes they became clear again, and he could see with them as well as ever.

Suddenly, hands were pulling at him, hauling him to his feet. Roxy heaved Jake’s limp body over her shoulder, pulling Dirk and Jane after her, to… four slabs of rock, hung in the void. She unceremoniously dumped Jake on a golden bed, before rearranging him to look as if he were sleeping. Or not just dumped there at least. She sat down on a navy slab, Jane and Dirk following suit.

“We have to die here.” Dirk said, Jane and Roxy’s voices echoing the same. Wordlessly, Dirk pulled out a couple small bottles, filled with red mist. They breathed, and so breathed thier last.

Thier bodies began to glow and shine, clothes changing, wounds closing. The Alphas had awoken. The fishbitch’s shit was wrecked.

[officalcrockercorp]

Does GT stand for something, for example "golgothasTerror" or is it just a random assortment of letters?

Stands for nothing, chap! But...that does sound quite swell!

-Crocker Corp. Representative.

[honokuhhh]

just realized something neat!

so, you know how everyone in homestuck has a chumhandle right? and every chumhandle has an abbreviation (for example ectoBiologist = EB)

well if you compare the handles of the alpha and beta kids each of the alpha kids has a matching abbreviation with one of the beta kids!

jane - jade: GG (gutsyGumshoe, gardenGnostic)

jake - john: GT (golgothasTerror, ghostyTrickster)

roxy - dave: TG (tipsyGnostalgic, turntechGodhead)

dirk - rose: TT (timaeusTestified, tentacleTherapist)

this might be common knowledge but i wanted to share!!

[rabble-dabble]

CHOOSE: 

==>Dirk Strider

==>????????

==>????????

>Dirk Strider_

Your name is Dirk Strider. 

And you have a pretty awesome big brother. 

At least, you like to think so. He might not be around very much for most of the time you’re home, but when he is, he doesn’t disappoint you with the brotherly bonding he likes to do. Engaging in your interests, encouraging you to do the things you like to make, and even sharing nearly the same humor and potent irony that the both of you are pretty sure you’re the two funniest people to have lived, ever, in the history of living. 

From all the surfing on the internet, though, it’s sort of unexpected from a sibling conducted relationship. You’ve read all about them, and siblings are supposed to be supportive, and if not, the viral enemy of one’s childhood. Since you can’t really debate whether or not the enemy of your childhood was loneliness or the ideas you’ve thought about doing due to it - even once coming close to making an A.I. copy of yourself - you’re pretty sure you and he are in the clear here. Yup. Nothing ever uncool goes on between the Striders - why would it? You and he have reached an understanding that’s so unrivaled that you don’t ever think anyone could possibly beat it. As long as you don’t get yourself into trouble and he makes some time to come home and be the presence of adult you need, it doesn’t ever get weird. 

Well, only whenever you don’t find yourself breaking the rules.

It’s not like it was your fault. You did not ever have any intention in using the empty program that sat unfilled and unchummed on your desktop - you don’t even remember how it appeared there. You don’t quite remember having it downloaded or getting a particularly rancid virus. You like to keep your gear in top shape, thank you very much, because not only has your brother taught you the importance of being grateful even with the kind of provisions you have, but you learned the very hard way that being careless led to preciously lost save data on games you liked to play ironically. 

(Dave had to stay home for a week straight and binge cartoons for you to get out of that depressive episode.)

You liked following the rules though. The rules kept you safe, and kept you generally happy, and you really didn’t mind there being rules in the first place. They are obviously supposed to be there in the first place, and considering you are a kid who has no business in parenting yourself, the terms of the rules are pretty relaxed for as long as you didn’t have rules when you were first growing up. 

You think it makes it worse, though, that this was the first rule. Generally, the rule he was pretty series in making, especially if it came in first. 

“Number one, little dude: No hitting it up with digital strangers.”

And yet, the little chatbox had appeared before you like a forbidden last cookie at dinnertime, inciting years of worry and doubt and loneliness like the bitter aftertaste of an unproperly made microwave dinner.

uranianUmbra [UU] started cheering timaeusTestified [TT]

UU: cheers!! hello lovely being.

UU: woUld you perhaps be interested in making a friend?

CHOOSE: 

==>Dirk Strider

==>Roxy Lalonde

==>????????

>Roxy Lalonde_

Your name is Roxy Lalonde. 

And you think your mom is the funniest mom ever.

Oh, no, not in humor. Your mom sucks at making good jokes. In fact, you don’t think except for her well constructed book series that was able to become a best seller, and you have every copy of stored under your bedframe, she cannot make a joke to save her life. You know this because you have heard her calls with Dirk’s older brother Dave Strider over the phone, attempting not to giggle lest you be heard, and the joke she tried executing fell flatter than the “ironic” fanfiction of MLP you have bore witness to Dirk’s easily crackable computer drive. She is, as best as you can really put, not funny at all.

Oh, but she’s a great mom. She’s the greatest mom ever! Granted, you’ve only ever had her as your only mom, but the time the two of you have had together has just been a-okay in your book. More than a-okay, really, because you finally have her with you, and you get to do a bunch of mom-daughter stuff that you used to daydream about after an exhausting day of feeding carapaces, petting mutated kitties and sipping on some fermented juices.

You don’t get to touch the juices anymore. She put a stop to that almost immediately - and although if irked you just a bit, because after all she had put that there to begin with - you thought long and hard about it. And you came to the conclusion that she was right about it, and, honestly, she was mom, so what were you going to do about it? Complain??

Why would you complain about finally having a mom??

So you think she’s pretty great. 

You can tell Dirk thinks the same about his brother, even if he doesn’t admit it as easily. Once upon a time, you thought Dirk had been a little bit of a snobbish guy who got too much into your biz and about everything you two did. But, really, with the help of your mom and Dirk’s bro, you understand now - he was only trying his best. And, in some way, you had been too. Neither of you were ever supposed to take care of yourselves like that.

But now you have Mom, and Dirk has Dave, and even though it’s really small, you couldn’t wish for anything more.

What more could you possibly wish for than Dirk, Dave and Mom??

uranianUmbra [UU] started cheering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

UU: greetings, gracefully esteemed friend of dirk!!

UU: i was wondering if perhaps yoU woUld like to make acquaintances?

CHOOSE:

==>Dirk Strider

==>Roxy Lalonde

==>Jake English

>Jake English_

Your name is Jake English.

And your Mum...

Is the most infuriating person you have ever met!!!!

Granted, she is the only person you have ever met. In real life. Ever. And that is sort of her fault too!!!! She never let’s you go anywhere, and she never let’s you think about the outside world, and if you so much as look at skyscrapers or parks or places with snow for too long she get’s this weird, contorted look on her face and you’re subjected to another talk about how the “island is the safest home we have, the world is a dangerous place, don’t go expecting it to be cozy and gentle and soft, Jake,” and now you can’t even deal with all of her nonsense about a world you have never explored. 

And it’s not like you don’t think about it. Every night that you go to bed, you listen with an open hear close to the window frame in case of the first rumble of unnerving technology comes close. Every day you’re up and around the island, you have to see and worry and think about the creatures that live among you, thinking about how easy it could be for your Mum could become seriously injured and you would have no way of reaching an outside source of help. You think a lot about how the world could be, and how fun it might be, but how overrun with horrid things it could be too. Your Mum has certainly sealed that image permanently, if not since forever and also when you first watched your (first and only) horror movie. The house had been extra barricaded that summer.

But you’re not a little child to coddle over anymore. You’re not the little boy who easily runs into his mother’s arms in the first instance of danger. Not only are you not that young scampering lad anymore who would trip and scrap his knees and cry, but you don’t think that at least seeing what the world out there looks like would ever hurt you in the slightest.

You don’t even have to stay out there. You just want to see it. See the people, real people, moving along and living their lives and watch as the cars run closely and the chatter of a good evening rolls around and see the rush of life around. You want to see snow and your breath puff coldly into the air and ice forming naturally instead of a refrigerator. You want to see the long meadows and the empty fields where the land won’t suddenly end on the other side. You just want to see it, it is nearly your biggest dream, and you hate that your Mum won’t even let you use the web without regulating what you can and cannot see. 

You’re pretty cheesed about it. You love your Mum, but at this point, you’re itching to just go anywhere, anywhere, but stay here. 

You wish you could see just the world from anywhere but your home.

uranianUmbra [UU] started cheering golgothasTerror [GT]

UU: hello fellow chUm!

You had sat there for around ten minutes staring at that message. 

UU: i hope yoU don’t mind, i’m not meaning to intrUde so brashly. i’m simply aboUnd looking for potential friends!

UU: so perhaps yoU woUld be tickled to become mine?

You had to look around and make sure Mum wasn’t near you. You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until you let it out, and turned back towards the screen to assure that, yes, someone was able to message you. Even though Mum had blocked it and your ability to contact anyone yourself, someone had gotten through.

GT: Why, salutations!

GT: My name is jake!!

Your name is Jake English.

And, against all odds, you have made a friend.