#guess who just saw the whole series of Transformers prime

[xjulixred45x]

I can't be the only one who SG!Optimus reminds A LOT of Zarkon (from Voltron LD), right?

RIGHT??

Idea for a Drabble on the way ;)

_____

no puedo ser la unica a la que SG!Optimus le recuerda MUCHISISIMO a Zarkon(de Voltron LD) ¿verdad?

¿¿VERDAD??

Idea de Drabble en camino ;)

[bastardlybonkers]

THE WAY I GASPED OUT LOUD WHEN I SAW U WROTE ANOTHER STARBEE FIC....

your giving me one million billion added years onto my life when you post art or a fic i love it soooo soo much <<33 >_< !!!!!! ur writing style is so so sooooo good tytytysm for writing and sharing more starbee

also id kill for some good general tf fic recs from u <<33

tysm !!!!

thank you so much!!! i love writing and drawing starbee, i havent felt this motivated in so long lol im really glad that other people are enjoying it as much as im enjoying making it.

as for fic recs, im not sure if you mean 'general' as in the 'general' rating, or 'general' as in 'not necessarily starbee', so ill have two different sections for these recs, one for general and teen, and one for mature and explicit! lets go :D

GEN & TEEN

O Lazarus by Trinary: Starscream/Shockwave, Regeneration One continuity. i just absolutely love this fic, i think its so well written, and i adore regen1 shockscream. i think this fic really nails that awkward early dynamic between them, starscreams trauma, and shockwaves burgeoning emotions. i really like how viscerally you feel starscreams emotions in this one. if you havent read regen1 but want good shockscream, the fic provides context in the opening notes 👍

In a Different Light by jabberish: Jazz/Prowl, All TFS media. this ones fun and cute with just the slightest brush of angst, i love it. the whole premise is that theyre at a party, and jazz realizes that prowl has face blindness. they put their helms together to help prowl navigate the crowd. cute fun read, pre-relationship, could almost be considered a meet-cute were it not that they know each other already in this lol.

we will rest upon the ground by lunarblazes: Bumblebee & Elita One, TFOne. the two of them have a quiet conversation the night before everything goes to shit. contemplation about new bodies, getting to know each other, bee realizing that elita isnt as terrifying as he thinks and elita realizing that bee isnt as annoying as she thought. just a really great read, i love it and i love their friendship

Just For Tonight by Prowlsuniboob (orphan account sadly 😔): Fortress Maximus/Prowl, IDW1. i really like how well this one captures prowls character. oftentimes, ill see him kind of...woobified, i guess, in idw1 fics, probably because people are used to other continuities where hes nicer (or just want him to be nicer lol) but i really like how complex and messy he is in idw, i love how much he sucks lmao. i think this one strikes a great balance in how hes an asshole whos made a lot of terrible decisions but hes also so, so lonely. and fort max, whos been on the business end of prowls shit tier decisions firsthand, is like jesus christ. i hate it but i pity him now. prowl being drunk in this is the perfect way for him to be more unguarded.

Subharmonics (series) by neveralarch: Megatron & Starscream, Gen 1. this is The starscream dysphoria fic series, and i like megatrons dysphoria too! i also like the way that theyre experiencing two different types of dysphoria, and starscreams complicated feelings in the second one of the series. this is a rare one where they arent being as awful to each other as usual lol, i like to imagine this mostly takes place during a lull period in the war where they arent as turbulent and toxic. very very good

the war is over and we are beginning by lord_squiggletits: Megatron/Optimus Prime, IDW1. this one is part of a larger series of theirs, but i havent read it, i just love the megop angst and softness here. its not required to read the rest of the series, so thats why im recommending it by itself since thats what ive read lol. a very good look into how megatron feels that love has made him weak, while optimus doesnt feel the same.

Hazard Light by EatYourSparkOut: Brainstorm/Perceptor, IDW1. hanahaki au but like, robot hanahaki! extremely fun. ive always liked when people bend popular fanfic tropes to work with transformers instead of just throwing the trope on there, and i think this fic does that excellently. i also just love the way that they write perceptor, hes a character i didnt contemplate too much on until reading this fic and i was like man im missing out on this guy 🤔 i think this is a pretty popular simpatico fic so if u ship them youve probably already read it, but if you havent and youre in the mood for some light body horror, angst, cringy flirting, and perceptor being the most ridiculously avoidant mech known to man, please give it a read its great

A Slight Overreaction by Something_Wrong: Soundwave-centric, Gen1 & IDW1. i reread this one all the time. it is just so fucking funny for no reason, im obsessed with the way soundwave acts in this. like yeah of Course a dude so crazy about secret collecting and information acquiring would get so bent out of shape over something so simple. the author had really great comedic timing, its a great read if you want some silly soundwave that has you going 'ohhh buddy...please just take a nap 😂' by the end.

I prove a theorum and the house expands by apprenticenanoswarm: Dinobot/Rattrap, Beast Wars. dinobot has dyscalculia! thats pretty much the whole fic lol, just rattrap realizing that dinobot and numbers Do Not Mix. i really love their dynamic in this, its written very well and i love the sort of...idk, ease? to their interactions? its great

Helpless by platonicharmonics: Megatron/Optimus Prime (Megatronus/Orion Pax), TFP. in which before everything, orion pax meets the coolest bitch hes ever seen in his life at a gala, and that coolest bitch somehow also thinks that hes the coolest bitch. very sweet, excellent dialogue, and also autistic orion, which is one of my favorite hcs. its hard to find autistic prime without it feeling woobifying, but i think this one does an excellent job. if you feel like something romantic and charming with that hint of 'oh god they dont know the horrors on the horizon' feeling, check this out

Everyday Words by fowo: Megatron/Optimus Prime, Earthspark. just some old men being in love, and the most accidental, casual marriage proposal ever. very sweet and tender, healing for the heart. they deserve to be ridiculous old men together

MATURE & EXPLICIT

Constructed Hot by neveralarch: Starscream/Bumblebee, IDW1. THE starbee fic for me. seriously, i just adore how this one is written, starscream and bees dynamic is Peak here, and i love the balance between bees angsting over being a ghost and starscreams angsting over being. well. ig in his mind a sexual deviant lol. if the ageplay tag turns you off, its transformers ageplay, pretending to be newly built, not a child. ageplay is a personal squick of mine so id been tentative myself when i first read it, but if its also a squick for you, i dont think this one crosses the line enough for it to get to me lol. ugh god i just love this fic so much. also, its PLUG N PLAY!!! my favorite :D its also the one where i got the idea for the thigh ports!! i think its been in plenty of other fics, ive read it elsewhere since then, but this was the first i had seen it like that. top tier fic

Every Wise Man's Son Doth Know by zuzeca: Megatron/Optimus Prime, IDW1. another absolute top tier, constantly rereading this one. i love optimus being a freak and wanting megatrons hands back on his spark. and i love how megatron is written here hes so...megatron. augh. ugh. i dont really have much else to say other than read it, old man ptsd yaoi real.

stitches to show something's missing by Llwy: Tarn/Pharma, IDW1. this is the only fic so far thats inspired me to write a sequel, i just could NOT get it out of my mind. pharma takes things into his own hands to stop the djd, then he takes things a step further, then too far. i really loved how this fic makes you think about the ethics of it all, and wonder at what point did it stop being about saving lives and start being about lording power over tarn for pharma. and tarn...TARN...i wish i could write another sequel or SOMETHING i want more in this series i really care about their tarn. i think hes written in a very fascinating way here, though if youre looking for canon-typical tarn, this isnt it.

Fragments by Graveyard: Brainstorm/Perceptor, IDW1. rated m for the body horror more than anything sexual, since its sparkplay. brainstorm makes a terrible mistake and nearly dies, perceptor saves his stupid ass, and brainstorm has a nearly-died epiphany. despite the grave circumstances its also a very funny fic lol just by virtue of the characters being who they are (its very in-character, which i love). and, ofc, i loooove body horror i love it so much, this one isnt too much body horror if it makes you squeamish but he does start to melt a little lol. enjoy!

Something, Anything by absolute_minimum: Prowl/Fortress Maximus, IDW1. prowl is lonely (what else is new) and wants fort max to beat the shit out of him. but also he wants him to fuck him. they both just want to feel something, but after an incident, max wants them to feel something Good. i really like this one, once again i think this is one that captures shit tier asshole prowl very well while still making him a sympathetic character, just as the comics do. and fort max is also so good in this, how angry he is versus how he will Not compromise his principles, and when theyre softer its just. urreghhgh i want a part two. actually i also wish Just For Tonight had a sequel too...i think. i want more fortprowl lmao

Ghost in the Machine by EatYourSparkOut: Bumblebee/Starscream, IDW1. bumblebee accidentally possesses starscream and they jack off. its a fun time. i really like the descriptions of fear and violation in this, how visceral starscreams reaction is but also how earnest bumblebee is like 'i Did Not mean to do that oh my god'. starbee my beloved you can pack so many issues in you

Tarnished Silver by spockandawe: Sunstreaker/Mirage, IDW1. do you know HOW hard it is to find good idw sunstreaker angst??? ITS HARD. it is so fucking hard. premise is that sunstreaker and mirage used to have their bdsm sessions before. well. the Everything happened, and theyre having their first one again after everythings changed. this one really nails the angst factor, i love that the whole time youre reading, you can feel the loss of things that used to be pleasurable to him before he went through everything that he did, and his guilt is just ridiculously palpable. mirage in this is great too, i like how, just like sunstreaker, there are moments where you really dont know what hes thinking, so when he reassures sunstreaker you as the reader feel it too. very good i love this one so much

Stress Test by 0 (only_elsewhere): Starscream/Bumblebee, TFRiD. i didnt think i would like starbee in RiD, nor did i think id like anything with heats, but i really like this fic!! its another one where they robotify a common trope (this one being heats) to make it work for transformers, and i just love how in-character both bumblebee and starscream are. bumblebee especially is really standout in this, hes just that perfect blend of cocky and sharp both in tongue and mind, while still being young and trying to hide the fact that hes not sure what the hell hes doing. stupid kidnapping, fuck or die, and the most horrible feeling for bumblebee of 'oh GOD no. do i LIKE him now???'. very fun read

What You Can Have by DesdemonaKaylose: Rung/Swerve, IDW1. id never seen this pairing before this! really interesting premise, rung is tired of nobody remembering him and never being noticed, and his only coping mechanism that works is basically letting anyone and everyone fuck him (but nobody remembers it anyways 😭). problem tho! swerve remembers seeing him get fucked, and cant get it out of his head. theres a specific line in this that i think about all the time, i reread it so much just to feel that gut punch again of That Line auuugh so good. please check out if you want to feel things about a ship you probably never considered

[pigin-is-so-rad]

7 People I wish I knew better!

Me? Actually participating in an online community? Whoah!

Thanks @motelrdd for tagging me! You’re one of my major inspirations so I’m flattered ::)

Favourite colour: It depends on the situation but I’m a big big fan of neon orange, especially when paired with a cyan or turquoise

Currently reading: For someone who doesn’t read that much I have a loottt of books I’ve started and just kind of neglected.. most recently judging by the stack of books on my table I think it was either Wheelock’s Latin or the Wings of Fire graphic novels because I run almost purely on nostalgia

Last Song: I’m pretty sure it was Ojos Tristes because that’s what’s stuck in my head, but it could honestly have been anything from Yaelokre to Twenty One Pilots because my taste is not consistent in the least

Last Series: I don’t watch a whole lot of series… I’m pretty sure the last one I finished was Prime Target, but the last one I watched was Transformers Prime. Coughs. You know who you are.

Last film: Transformers One. I might have a problem. (I watched it twice in one week because I saw it and then absolutely had to show it to my friend. I swear I enjoy media outside of the Transformers franchise its just that I’ve been getting really interested in it recently)

Sweet/Savory/Salty: I’m a pretty big fan of savory food, but I do love a mix of sweet and savory. And currently I have a bubble tea that’s pretty fire so it varies depending on the moment I guess

Tea or coffee: Tea most of the time, but I really like a super milky unsweetened iced latte in the summer :)

Working on: a good number of things! Right now I have an animatic/storyboard/PMV type thing I’m working on for a class, but because I’m me it’s also an outer wilds project that I’m super invested in, so I’ll definitely be sharing it here when I’m done with it. I’ve also got a really big time buddies illustration in the works that I could probably call finished but I’m perfecting the details before I share it. Other than that, I’ve been redesigning some ocs from 2020 that I didn’t expect to get so attached to, and this morning I was bouncing around ideas for a potential transformers oc.

Here goes: @nephtheless @ezzriin @neflil @gem-is-bored @fcloudg @spacey-xannabelle @malk-with-tea (Sorry if you’ve already been tagged!)

[collecticon-lou]

'An Animated Assemblage' - Legacy: United Animated Universe Optimus Prime, Legacy: United Animated Universe Bumblebee, and Age of the Primes Fugitive Waspinator

While I haven't talked a lot about the Transformers TV shows here yet, do know I like a fair few of them. Of them all, though, I gotta say Animated was my fave. Hell, when I was a kid, it was the first Transformers show I watched back when it was new on Cartoon Network! I was even the show's version of Bumblebee for Halloween once. So Animated has a special place in my heart, and still does since I've rewatched the whole series last year. Just a solid show with amazing designs and a good story.

So, when I found out Legacy: United would be releasing figures based on the Animated designs, you know I had to pick them up! In fact, after the Go-Bots, these were some of my first figures I ever bought! Had to start with an Optimus and Bumblebee, ya know? Here they are: Animated Universe Optimus Prime, Animated Universe Bumblebee, and as an extra bonus, Age of the Primes Fugitive Waspinator!

Now, I know this isn't every Animated Universe figure they've released; I missed both Legacy: Evolution Animated Prowl and Legacy: United Animated Motormaster. For Prowl, I just didn't think his figure was that good, as it sacrificed too much of his stylization from the show to the G1-ification present in the Generations line, the headsculpt especially. As for Motormaster, I just had no interest in the character, least not the Animated version. Plus, it's just a retool of the Optimus figure I already own, so I saw little need for it. Maybe I'll pick up Prowl if they finish the rest of the Animated Autobot cast, but I'm unlikely to ever get Motormaster.

Speaking of, though, let's talk Animated Optimus. Hands down, right out the gate, this is a peak Optimus design. Genuinely one of my favorites, and brought to life expertly on screen by the goat that is David Kaye. The headsculpt especially looks like a perfect translation of how he looked on screen. In fact, dare I say they made next to no compromises for his actual design? Maybe a bit wider in the shoulders or thinner in the waist, but this is just how Optimus looked in the show! Nothing I can really criticize; just a great design turned into a great figure! I kinda wish it was easier to get him to hold his axe two-handed, but it still looks good in one-hand!

A thing I love about the transformation is that it's basically split into two different chunks: the cab and the bed. You have his arms form the cab, and his legs form the bed. Easy to remember and satisfying to pull off, turning into a VERY show accurate fire truck cab. Like, the robot mode is already very show accurate, but the truck mode is somehow MORE so. They really took the care to preserve the iconic style of the late great Derrick J. Wyatt in toy form, and it paid dividends. Also has room for the ax on the bed, and even some sculpted cab detail and seats! Totally unnecessary, but I love it!

Now, for Bumblebee. Now, I like Animated Bumblebee, but I wouldn't call him the definitive Bee. Honestly, unsure which Bee would be that, seeing as he's so different in almost every continuity. For what he is, though, I like this design! Not as perfect as translation as Optimus was in my eyes, but I can definitely see what they were trying for, especially with that headsculpt. The rocket stingers are great, but I wish they retained the gimmick of the stingers being able to plug directly into Bee's hands. Technically, they can when combined, but I wish they were big enough for each hand. Not a big deal, but still.

Transformation is quick and snappy, and like with Optimus, forms a VERY show accurate minicab. Even has the little siren on the top! If they had to make some compromises for his robot form so his car form could be this accurate, I guess I can live with it. It does look really good, and—

Oh, hey. Look who else is here.

Yep, he's finally here! Age of the Primes has given us the long awaited Animated Wasp, or "Fugitive Waspinator", at last! For those who don't know, Hasbro had originally planned to release a figure like this during the actual Animated line, being a green redeco of deluxe-class Bumblebee. He wouldn't have had a new head though, as it was either him or Ironhide that would have gotten one, and Ironhide both got the head and an actual release. No clue why Wasp was canned, though maybe it was for the best considering he looked more like Bumblebee in "Where Is Thy Sting?" when he had that paintjob on.

But hey! We have the figure now, and with that new head! Only took, what, fifteen years? Hehehe...anyways, as should be obvious, Fugitive Waspinator is a new head redeco of the previously discussed Animated Universe Bumblebee. All that's changed really is the headsculpt, and while a little inaccurate, Wasp's head was always a lil too thin, so it being bulkier as an actual toy is a concession I'm willing to take. I do like sticking his rockets on his back, if anything to evoke the wings he gains in his later mutation. The name is a bit of a misnomer, seeing as he was still just Wasp at this point, but as a callback to the original unreleased figure (and trademark issues, of course) it's not too bad, and we all know who this is anyways. I suppose I could complain about the Decepticon insignia since Wasp didn't have one in the show, but that's just splitting hairs at this point.

Transformation and vehicle mode is exactly the same as Bumblebee. Hiding all the lighter green parts really makes the dark green of this figure stand out even more, and those purple windows are an amazing touch. For some reason, the siren is now painted red as opposed to be clear plastic. No idea why, but it does stick out just a bit because of that. Again, not a huge deal, but it makes me wonder.

Overall, a good set! There's really very little I can do in the way of complaining about these figures. If you like Animated and want new figures based on those designs, these are it. I only hope they make more, and especially more Animated Decepticons!

Legacy: United Animated Universe Optimus Prime: 4/5

Legacy: United Animated Universe Bumblebee: 4.5/5

Age of the Primes Fugitive Waspinator: 4.5/5

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Adam Gets World's No.1 Worst Peepaw Shirt (2024)

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[Note: Please Click On The Drawing To Make It Bigger In Order To Read The Purple Words Better On Peepaw Adam's Shirt, and the speech bubbles from those who are speaking.

and incase it might still be a bit hard to read what Peepaw-Adam is saying here is what he is saying in the drawing: "What does this shirt say..? I can't read it Upside-Down. it was a Gift from a "Earth Angel Princess" who calls herself "The Eveningstar Princess" Whatever that means. but she is my Alternate Counterpart's Descendant-Granddaughter, who is also a Descendant of both Cain & Seth, as well as King David and King Solomon as well as King Solomon's Son, Rehoboam. man, sucks to be her, how unlucky is she to be the descendant of King Solomon! but at least she can be thankful to be My descendant! well, that OTHER me's own descendant anyway. man, the words on this shirt is VERY long, it must talk about how AWESOME I am."....despite what he might think, it doesn't talk about how Awesome he is. XD lol ]

Credit for Hazbin Hotel goes to Vivienne "Vivziepop" Medrano & SpindleHorse

Credit for Transformers goes to Hasbro & TakaraTomy

Credit for Transformers: Prime Series goes to Jeff Kline, Alex Kurtzman, Duane Capizzi & Roberto Orci

Credit Transformers Animated Series goes to Sam Register & Matt Youngberg

Credit for Steven Universe Series goes to Rebecca Sugar

Credit for Cuphead goes to Studio-MDHR

Credit for Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt goes to Gainax

Credit for Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts goes to Radford Sechrist & Bill Wolkoff

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I regret nothing...

and I think Ficto-Peepaw Adam deserves that shirt.

Cuphead is trying not to laugh, and Steven knows how bad it will be if Adam finds out what that shirt says, possibly thanks to Garnet's future vision.

also, I like idea of Knockout being Steven's Cybertronian Guardian and Knockout could of started out as Steven's Guardian when Steven was just a baby, and it being Rose who was the first out of the Crystal Gems and Other Humans besides Greg in Beach City that saw the good in Knockout, and Garnet was the second to see the good in him and Amethyst was the third but it took Pearl a lot longer to fully trust Knockout.

also Kipo in this, is a future version who still has part of her new hair style from the epilogue but this version of Kipo grew her hair longer and might be around her mid-20s and is married to a unknown spouse.

Sari in this drawing is 23 years old but close to becoming 24 years.

or she could already be 24 years old.

and yes, I am the "Eveningstar Princess" and "Earth Angel Princess" who gave that Adam the shirt. XD

I am Cain & Seth's Weird Descendant Granddaughter, Long Live The Divine Feminine Revolution and for it's Healing and Recovery!

we should put a protective barrier around the Earth to stop the Negative and Toxic energy from the Toxic-Masculine energy through, and only allow the positive Masculine energy through.

it might be able to help both Omni-Mom and the Divine Feminine heal even more if all Earth Angels worked together to form a protective barrier so that the Feminine part of the Earth can heal properly...and the whole two certain Masculine sides crossing the line with their fight is not helping in the recovery process.

Lucifer and Samael still ain't the boss of me, no matter which one of them is Cain's Dad...

also even if not everyone has to agree to it but respect my new view of belief...

but I'm still going to believe in both God/Heavenly-Father & Goddess/Earthly-Mother...

and I rather not have some Toxic-Religious jerk from before, make me feel really bad and cry and throw those misused words they threw me before...I'm still gonna hope I don't run into that Toxic-Religious Jerk again...that still might count as religious trauma, which could be second to any past life Toxic-Religious Trauma...

I guess it was a little surprised that fans were right about that Adam from Hazbin Hotel, being THE Adam...which means he is like a Alternate Counterpart of the one that was from here...

which still makes that Adam from Hazbin Hotel, "The First Peepaw"

don't know if Cain will appear in that series or what he would be like.

but no matter the Multiverse, he is still Grunkle-Grandpa, along with Seth being Grunkle-Grandpa...at least the descendants they had married each other many generations later...is that correct...?

they don't need to be marrying too close to the tree...

the descendants of the early generations that were descended from Seth and Cain, would have to have different DNA from another Paternal and Maternal source and they would have to still marry into different bloodlines to different humans in order for the descendants of both Seth and Cain back then, were to marry each other...because it would mean they would be hardly be closely related so there will be no possible problems with the future offspring.

which I'm glad to be a "Purple Blood" rather than a "Blue Blood", yeah being a "Blue Blood" is like another word for Royalty but given that is true, but I'm glad that some of my Ancestors are both Royal and Non-Royals, and I don't want to be called a blue blood, but instead a purple blood. :)

also even if ya can look to the situation with Cain and who his bio-dad is, either it be Samael or Lucifer, and it being like the same situation in a Hazbin Hotel AU's Fanon Timeline....with Adam being the Step-Dad of Cain...

it would still make for a good Jerry Springer comedy, but instead of Jerry, it's some guy named Perry who has to talk to both Eve and the possible fathers of Cain, and even have the Step-Dad Adam there as well...

I wouldn't be surprised if Adam and Eve from Hazbin Hotel are divorced, like for all we know, Eve could of left him like around early 202X.

Adam could act like it never happen and could be in denial that both of his two ex-wives Lilith and Eve left him...

which would serve that Peepaw Adam right, that's what you get for being a selfish, egoistical, toxic-masculine jerk.

I think it could be interesting if it turn out Cain and Charlie were half-siblings, which would mean that Lucifer from that series was with Eve first before he and Lilith fell in love...

like Eve and Lucifer had to have a mutual break-up, because they knew they couldn't truly be together because one of the reasons being Adam...and at some point Lucifer meets Lilith, falls in love again, but for all we know Lucifer could still have feelings for Eve as well.

and yeah, like the shirt that Adam is wearing points out...

Abel should not be around Fluffy-Babies, and if ever tried that "offering" stuff with my first or second cats (my first cat is no longer with us and had passed away a few years ago, and I was lucky to get my second cat when they were still a little kitten.) I would go Feral Earth Angel on him.

and like I said before, if those at the vet did anything wrong with my second cat or like if they weren't taken there on time...

if I had the power to, I would start Omnigeddon...

like in theory it is like Armageddon but FAR and way worse...

lucky it might not be thing...but yeah the thoughts of wanting to start Omnigeddon did come to my mind if anything bad happen to my second cat when they had to go to the vet and they had to have surgery.

also there could be better ways to spiritually offer food even if it is meat to like both the Heavenly-Father & Earthly-Mother...

like having to cook it, and serve it with fruits and vegetables and eating it with friends and family...

and also spiritually sharing it with both the Heavenly-Father and Earthly-Mother...

and yeah, I'm still going to view both Abel and Cain being in the wrong, but Cain only got far worse because of bad parenting and his depression getting far worse and reaching a very dangerous breaking point...

and if anyone needs to be redeem at Charlie's Hotel, it's both Cain and Abel.

oh, and yes Steven is holding a cellphone to talk to Knockout and one could view that Steven is whispering so Adam doesn't hear him.

anyway hope some like this Crossover Fanart.

and once again, when it comes to giving Ficto-Peepaw Adam that shirt, I still regret nothing. XD

[interstellar-elf]

I'm convinced, given GHOST's history, that this is all GHOST's doing. I also believe much of the comic's storyline , at least what we saw in the series was deliberately bowdlerized to an extant in order to sway humans to helping the Autobots but also to an extant that there were humans who firmly believe it was full on propaganda not just for Autobots but for the whole Transformer race (ie why there's anti-Transformers sentiments among people nowadays). Or people are convinced that the Autobots are trying to take over the Earth too.

Given that there's a lot of Bumblebee merch out there, even some not owned by Alex, I'd guess Bumblebee and Optimus Prime had a lot of merch of them to keep GHOST finances up. Given what I know of Transformers, maybe they did have bank accounts, given that in G1, Transformers used toll bridges and carried exact change on them for that. So Transformers do understand money, in a way. Or they got swindled out of it by unscrupulous humans.

I'd think the amount of merch dwindled sometime after the war or at least around the same time Megatron joined the Autobots as there were some Autobots who decided to defect out of GHOST (as per the guidebook). So all of the stuff Alex owns is literally collector items.

Been thinking way too hard about Earthspark's world implications again...

Do the Transformers get royalties for all their merchandise? The toys, the comics, the collectibles? There's no way people can just use their likenesses for walkie-talkies and coffee makers without permission, unless all the merch Alex owns are knockoffs. Does it go to the government? GHOST?

Bumblebee can't be accepting royalties for his merch when he's on the run. Does it go to Optimus? Does Optimus have a bank account? Can he list The Ark as his place of residence? Who balances the Autobot's books? Lord knows Optimus, Megatron, and Elita are far too busy to do it. Hopefully Prowl. I don't think Wheeljack is responsible enough to not be funneling money into his pet projects.

Does the Transformer themselves have to be there to approve each merchandising deal, or do they send a representative? There's no way they weren't making toys of the Decepticons to go against the Autobots, where did that money go?

I have a lot of thoughts about this. Probably too many.

[harbouredsoulss]

LURK

Author's note: You have no idea how happy I am to post again! 💞

I've been working on this for a while and am so excited to finally share this with you all. This is set to be a series, with the current number of parts unknown (though I'm currently working on that).

I also appreciate every single person who helped me when I was trying to work out how long my posts should be! You were all super helpful 🥰

warning(s): violence. mention of stalking. blood. a hint of smut. friends x lovers! panic.

pairing(s): ez reyes x [OC] ivána

word count: 2.3 k

summary: Ivána has a secret. She is in danger, and has kept this from everyone including her best friend Ez. What happens when this danger finally comes for her?

Nights alone were truly unbearable, though Ivána knew she was never truly alone.

There was always that heavy feeling -an inexplicable feeling that haunted her, to the point where she knew that he had to be out there watching her each and every move. The feeling clung to her, never abating.

Her home was locked down with the doors bolted shut, and windows sealed and secured. She had made it into a fortress since the first time he had made his intentions clear. She knew his kind; had seen it before. They liked to toy with their prey, and strike fear into their hearts, not long before they consumed them, body and soul.

Ivána knew she was just biding her time before the games would truly begin. The intimidation thus far had been nothing but mere warning of what was to come.

She lay in bed, tossing and turning, thoughts all consuming. She knew what she could do to make the problem go away. The police would be the best place to start and a smart move at that. Though that wasn’t who she was really considering turning to.

There were people she knew and trusted enough to protect her from harm. She had connections with people from all walks of life, some of which she grew up with, some of them considered family.

Her best friend, the one she had been secretly in love with for the majority of her life, Ezekiel Reyes, would do anything for her and she knew that. But she couldn’t bring herself to drag him into her mess. He had already gone through enough; he doesn’t need her problems added to his list.

At some point in the night, she did fall asleep. She fell to the faint pitter patter of the rain, which was rare for Santo Padre. It soothed her restless thoughts, and nudged her slowly to an unbroken sleep.

For once her dreams were not filled with terror, though there was still a flicker of anxiety as her thoughts shaped and manifested to their final form. In her dreams she spoke to EZ, hands caressing his face softly, lips barely a breath a part, whispering to him, telling him the truth, and allowing all her fears to be released. She allowed him to protect her. He encased her in his arms creating a barrier that separated her physical form from all the uncertainties her life was set to face -that plagued her mind incessantly.

Her mind gave in to her desires, ones she not would let happen in the real world. It allowed her a glimpse at what safety and love would truly feel like.

Unlucky for her, the dreams did not last, it was the arrogant sound of her alarm which happened to choose that precise moment, when her thoughts morphed into something more illicit, to interfere with her reverie. The idea of snoozing the alarm was tempting, as was remaining in bed hidden within the confines of her room. Though she knew she would be missed, and staying here, locking herself inside forever, would arouse suspicion.

The hospital would be nothing more than a brief reprieve from the game she had been made part of.

At least that’s what she told herself.

It wouldn’t stop her from looking over her shoulder as she made rounds, checking each bathroom stall, and cataloguing each individual in a waiting room. She was in a minefield and was sure to explode if she made the wrong move.

He had been doing this for quite some time now, though usually he left her alone at work. He left toying with her for when she was alone with no one to reach out to for help. He knew her hours, when she would begin her shift and when it would end. She figured he had someone hack into the hospital’s servers and access her roster. She also knew that if he was not going to be physically present, there would always be someone else from within his inner circle there to stalk her.

She stood in her bathroom, scrubs gripped tightly in her hands, eyes glaring at the fabric as she debated her choices. Her skin was like ice, with goosebumps coating her flesh as she stood there naked in the room, allowing her mind to tick over like a clock. She didn’t want to leave, and it took every ounce of strength she had to force her body to cooperate.

Her mind was at war with itself. Different parts of it were broken up over what she should do. Parts of her wanted to run and hide, whilst the other parts wanted her to stay, too scared to step a toe out of line and be killed.

Her eyes remained locked on her reflection, fingers tracing the length of her skin, up and down, from the curve of her breasts to soft bump of her waist. Her eyes fluttered closed as the soft movement of her fingers pulled her into trance.

It was kaleidoscope of colour that flickered beneath her eyelids as her body began to relax. Soon the mirage of colour transformed in to one whole image of Ez and herself.

Their limbs were intertwined, sliding against one another intimately. His breathing hot against the crook of her neck, fingers torturing her in the most delicious way possible. Sliding down the slope of her body, caressing her breasts, kneading her tender flesh as they ventured lower. They slipped between her thighs, and began rubbing her gently and softly. Edging her, at a leisurely pace, to her release.

It was a sound reminiscent to that of a gunshot that shook Ivána from her fantasy and filled her to the brim with terror.

She moved as fast her body would allow, though it resulted in her tangling herself in her scrubs, tripping over her own feet as tried to dress herself. She could hear the thrum of her heart pounding in her ears as she made her body move towards the living room, grasping onto the baseball bat she kept hidden behind her couch.

It was at that point she came to the realisation that it was not a gunshot she had heard, only what sounded like one. What she had heard was actually the sound of someone banging themselves against her front door.

She had every intention of calling out and demanding the name of whoever it was that was trying to take down her door, but it was the fear that froze her where she stood. She knew with every fibre of her being that the person on the other side of the door was not a friend.

It was only when she took a few hesitant steps away from the couch towards the entryway that the wood began splintering and a large crack struck through the length of the wooden panelled door.

Particles of dust and wood chips scattered across the floor as the banging continued. Her knuckles turned white; her circulation sure to cut off as she continued to grip the handle of the baseball bat, tighter and tighter.

She could hear whoever it was grunting as they continued to throw their body against the door.

It went on for a limited time, mere minutes, before she saw her front door fly off its hinges, bang against her hallway table, and land right before her feet.

A jolt of surprise and dread iced her veins as she took in the scene before her. It was only one man.

It took only one man to break into my home.

Recognition sparked as the cog wheels in her mind began to turn.

His face was red, with beads of sweat clinging to his flesh, soaking his brown hair, and plastering it against his face.

Ivána had seen this man before.

He smiled at her faintly, chest heaving, struggling to catch his breath. He held up his hand, his index finger pointed upwards.

“One…. Moment…” he rasped out; face still flushed as he struggled to catch his breath.

Her eyes were fixed on him, as he stood there both hands pressed on either side of the door frame, his head hanging low. It was a surprising sight for her. One that took an edge off the fear that was gripping her.

There was no awareness of time as she stood there like a deer caught in headlights. All the awareness was honed in on the man before her and his breathing, and how much easier it was starting to become. She knew she was running out of time, but she couldn’t bring herself to do anything.

It didn’t take too long for his demeanour to change. No longer was his mouth agape with salvia bubbling at his lips, slipping down his chin as he tried to capture his breath. He brought his hand to his mouth and begun wiping it slowly, removing any hint of weakness as he did so.

Finally, he took a step towards her, entering her home, stepping on the broken door.

“Let me guess,” she started, taking a step back, “you’re one of David’s men?”

Her fingers curled tightly around the handle of the bat, using all the strength within her, to hold herself up right. The target she’s had on her back, the dread, anticipation, never quite knowing when he would strike. It was always clear that he was waiting for the right moment, which had now come.

The intruder nodded in return, making sure to smile at her wickedly.

“Matteo.” He answered, though she had no care for his name. Being one of David’s lackies was all she needed to know.

Ivána ignored him and instead widened her stance, preparing her body for the inevitable swing that she would take.

Matteo took another step towards her, chest heaving. The knock down of the door had clearly taken a lot out of him, although he tried to show her otherwise.

He didn’t appear to be too old, though she could tell he was not in his prime.

“You know why I’ve come; I assume?”

“To finally take me?” She guessed with a slight shrug to her shoulders, stance still wide, arms ready to swing, “though after that little performance, you shouldn’t feel too confident on your mission being a success.”

He wasn’t fazed by the scorn notable in her voice. He just stood there with his hands on his hips; a smirk plastered on his face, pure excitement gleaming in his eyes.

His gaze remained locked on hers, never wavering, though that was not before he allowed it to lingered down her body slowly, zeroing in on the weapon in her hand. It transformed his smirk into something more wicked; sickening.

“Oh, baby girl,” he said, voice thick and husky, almost as if the mere sight of her holding a weapon turned him on. He licked his lips, clucking his tongue as he did so, with an evil gleam now luminous in his eyes, “surely you must know that it’s a massive turn on when you think you can fight back.”

“You’re disgusting,” she spat; voice laced with venom, “you and your entire crew are nothing but pigs. If your boss wants me, he can come and get me himself.”

He laughed, a hearty kind of laugh. One full of promise.

He began his attack.

_____________________

Blood trickled down the sharp edges of the blade at an unhurried pace. Each drop leaving a faint echo throughout the room one might miss if they weren’t listening out carefully.

Ivána stood there frozen, arms rigid, and glued to her side, clutching the kitchen knife. Her breathing ragged, chest heaving with every painful intake of breath. Her body was battered with cuts, and bruises which, unbeknownst to her, had already begun developing across her flesh. There was no mistaking the red, angry, marks on her skin that were sure to ache, leaving a clear reminder as to what had happened. Perhaps the physical marring of flesh would clear, in time. Though that moment, standing frozen over her assailant’s body, knife caked in blood, would never fade.

Her body convulsed, though she was unaware, as the shock washed over her like a tidal wave. The knife slipped from her hand, clattering to the floor as she fell to her knees. Her body was wracked with loud uncontrollable sobs as the image of the attack flashed through her mind at a hastened pace. Her hands crimson, caked in his blood. Her breathing grew erratic and the panic began to set in, eyesight blurred with tears.

“Yo! Hermana.”

Confusion triggered an innate reaction within her at the sound of Angel’s voice, one that she was not ready for. She jerked forward and frantically began trying to clean the mess around her. Hoping to hide the mess - afraid of anyone else seeing it.

Had she been in a rational state of mind, she would have stopped herself. The attempt she was making was needless given the fact that all she was doing was using her hands to rub the blood around her.

“Ivána…” Voice trailing off, Angel stood within the threshold of the doorway, gaze locked on Ivána as she continued to frantically clean her kitchen floor.

Crouching down he reached out to place his hand on her shoulder, his voice softly urging her to stop. As he touched her, she let out a shrill scream, and lashed out at Angel. Her body and mind were still locked in the fight of her life.

She mistook Angel for another one of David’s men, come to finish what Matteo had started.

“Please,” she begged, voice cracking as her sobs turned heavier, shaking her body further, “Please.”

“I’m here,” Angel murmured softly, attempting to soothe her, “it’s me… Angel.”

“I’ve got you.” He murmured again as he reached towards her, both arms open in attempt to pull her body towards his in an embrace.

She allowed him to take her, his heart shattering when her body went limp in his arms.

If you have stuck through with this part thank you so much! I am really excited to make this a series and worrying about it being a flop! Especially given this part doesn’t really have EZ it, merely mentions of him. I have honestly read and reread over this so many times it’s gotten to the point where I hate it lol. Please leave feedback (if you wish 😂) and pleeeease let me know if you are actually excited to see where this goes. Any guesses? Again, thank you so much if you have actually read all of this and didn’t give up! I appreciate you so much! 💞 I am truly sorry if this was boring!! It’s just the set up so pleeease stick around

TAGLIST (OPEN): @appropriate-writers-name @thesandbeneathmytoes @abby-splace @tartanbumsters @noz4a2 @sesamepancakes @montanaraed

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #29 - The One Where Everyone Gets Super Shiny

Our issue opens up with Swerve laying down the Story So Far in the Exposition Dimension.

Fantastic, you funky little man.

If Swerve looks like he’s been tossed through the car wash a few dozen times, it’s because this is where our new colorist comes in! Everyone, please say hello to Joana Lafuente- known for her love of gradients and attention to light sources, this actually isn’t the first time we’ve run into her. Lafuente worked on colors for several issues of The Transformers (2009), Last Stand of the Wreckers #3, and a few issues of MTMTE Season 1. However, she was matching the styles of her co-colorists on a majority of these, so we haven’t seen her style properly until now.

Getting into the story proper, Cyclonus is busying himself with staring out the window at a PNG of space, as he is wont to do, when he hears the tell-tale sound of tires squealing down the hall towards his room. Oh, goodness, whoever could that be?

Nearly forgot about him, didn’t you? Yeah, it’s a little difficult to follow up on things like a character’s recovery from a horrific disease when you’ve got comic event contract obligations to deal with.

After getting tackled by Tailgate, who reminds us all about the time he stuck his dirty little fingers into a dude’s brain meat, Cyclonus takes the little nerd on a walk through the ship.

You’re not going to convince me to reread “Dark Cybertron”. I don’t care how much of a marshmallow you are, it’s not happening.

They’re passed by Megatron and a bunch of crew members carrying that coffin we saw at the end of last issue down the corridor, Tailgate has a moment, and we get a taste of Cyclonus’ distaste for the Autobots as a whole. Tailgate is mildly offended by this, as he gropes his chest in distain, showing off his shiny new Autobot badge- a gift for not dying a terrible, gruesome death.

Good job, Tailgate. Proud of you.

They’re also passed by an absolutely blitzed Jackpot and Mainframe, the former singing Tailgate’s Tyrest-stopping praises as the latter carts him over to the Medibay to deal with the almost alcohol poisoning he’s got going on. Cyclonus remarks that Tailgate was missed, though Tailgate can’t help but wonder if that’s really true.

Y’all like slowburn romance, right? Because these two dumbasses have been roommates for two years, and we’ve just gotten to the point where physical contact can happen without one of them needing to be dying.

Anyway, it’s been a good day for Tailgate so far. Let’s hope it stays that way for the little dude.

...And that’s a series wrap on Tailgate! Let’s give him a hand, folks!

Hopping back in time to Megatron’s trial, things get underway, as Optimus Prime takes a nap in the judge’s bench as Gripper- whose name you don’t need to remember, as he’s not actually important- tells everyone about how brutal the Decepticon Justice Division is, even to Autobots. Which isn’t really supposed to be their deal, given their, y’know, name, but I suppose nobody’s perfect.

Up in the stands, in an… opera box, I guess? Rodimus is watching the proceedings, when Atomizer walks in. Which I guess you can just do in a Cybertronian court case. Sure.

Atomizer, in case you forgot, is the dude who has a bow and arrow, and used to be an interior designer.

Say, didn’t Whirl has a bow and arrow in the last issue when he attacked Megatron? Mighty curious, that.

Rodimus and Atomizer briefly reflect on the DJD, recalling the horror that was Vos- not that Vos, the other one. Rodimus would really just rather this all be over with so the Lost Light can get back to finding the Knights of Cybertron, and it’s at this point that Atomizer breaks out a thing he really ought not have- the count for the vote on whether or not Rodimus should stay on as captain. Rodimus doesn’t want to look at it, because it was supposed to be anonymous for a reason, and tells Atomizer to destroy the list entirely.

Hm, that’s not a terribly determined face there, Rodimus.

Back in the present, specifically in Swerve’s, Groove is threatening to break Streetwise’s arm, as we get the downlow on just what exactly our Legislator buddy’s deal is. Turn’s out, Swerve got one of the things reprogrammed, so that he follows not the Autobot Code, but something else entirely.

Hey, Swerve?

I don’t expect you to know this, because I don’t think you were present when they revealed this information to the readers, but… your new bouncer is made of people. He’s a dude made of other dudes, namely the Circle of Light. There’s a chance that you reprogrammed a sentient being, my good bitch.

Anyway, Swerve’s in a fucking mood because his shoulder hurts, someone’s stealing his shit, and Megatron has joined the narrative. Over at a nearby table, Skids, Nautica, and Riptide take a gander at the tabloids. Trailcutter, who is positively smashed, to the point where he’s just leaking booze out of his face like it’s his job, isn’t terribly interested in that, however.

What an astute observation, Riptide. And people say you’re stupid!

Trailcutter wants to drink some more, because it’s very likely he’s got a problem, but the mention of “Megatron’s super fuel” makes him feel like it’s time to stop hounding Swerve and start performing crimes.

Back during the trial, we get to Starscream’s testimony. He’s wearing his crown. He’s acting like a self-righteous asshole, as he defends Megatron.

Well, “defend” in the technical, legal sense, I suppose.

But really it’s more about him insulting Megatron’s intelligence, strength, and courage, in front of a LOT of people, while also trying to make himself look better in the war crime department. Megatron doesn’t appreciate this very much, if his murder-face is anything to go by.

Megatron lets Ultra Magnus (his defender, if you’ll recall) know that he wants a private word, and court goes into a brief recess.

Back in the present, Nightbeat’s busy looking at a pin-up of Rung’s alt-mode, when someone knocks on his door. That someone is Chromedome, who’s trying to solve the mystery of The Missing Declaration of Love. Not that he says that specifically out loud.

You two were married, why- okay. No point in yelling at this digital copy of a comic book.

Anyway.

So, the whole screaming thing only happened the one time, and everything was back to normal on subsequent plays of Rewind’s message. Nightbeat seems to be leaning towards the depressive isolating getting to Chromedome, which Chromedome responds to by telling him to get the fuck out. Alas, someone’s blocking the door!

YO WHAT THE FUCK-

Back with Trailcutter’s subplot, our drunken friend is in the middle of breaking into the Medibay. Our trio of cool-colored pals watch him from back at the bar, by way of a laptop that looks like it was built the same year I was born.

As Trailcutter attempts to commit a crime, Megatron, Ultra Magnus, and Ratchet pass by, trying to figure out how to handle the whole coffin situation. Trailcutter’s about to punch the locks off a door, and Nautica decides that this is where she’s going to draw the line today, leaving the gaggle of fools to their shenanigans. Then Tailgate glomps Skids, throwing the computer to the ground and breaking it, as Trailcutter finds the door to the Medibay magically open.

If you don’t know what glomping is, there’s a 60% chance that you’re not old enough to vote in the US.

Trailcutter sneaks into the Medibay, we get a reminder that Ambulon is super dead, and Trailcutter commits theft from a food bank. What a guy.

This is the point where security shows up, armed with a great deal of guns, one of which is Megatron himself. Trailcutter, instead of feeling super powerful, actually feels positively awful after consuming Megatron’s rations of “super fuel”. Because he, as an Autobot, doesn’t want to be within 50 yards of Megatron, Trailcutter breaks out the forcefields the moment the guy approaches him. And oh, what a doozy this one is.

Trailcutter’s gotten himself a fancy new trick- this forcefield he’s broken out lasts for a solid half-hour, and he can’t turn it off. I’m sure that won’t bite him in the ass at any point in the near future, no-siree!

Back in the past, Rattrap is commending Starscream on playing the field and getting the public slightly more on his side, but Starscream’s too busy patting himself on the back to really pay attention. He knew damn well that Megatron wouldn’t like what he had to say on the stand, and now things are finally looking up for ol’ Screamer.

Over with Optimus Prime, Slamdance is showing off how the general public is really into this whole “folks being held accountable for their actions” thing.

In the present, Chromedome and Nightbeat seem to have remembered they have alt-modes and are driving down the hall back to Nightbeat’s room- wonder what the speed limit for the Lost Light is?- and discuss just what the hell happened. The current theory is that the Rewind they saw was a Data Ghost- a collection of information so dense, it had a not-quite-physical presence that wasn’t 100% removed when he died.

Which is a little fucked up, but let’s see where this goes.

Nightbeat undoes the 40,000 locks on his door while Chromedome bleeds guilt all over the shag carpet over the fact that he hasn’t been looking for Dominus Ambus like he said he would.

C’mon James, gimme that Chromedominus endgame.

Nightbeat finally opens the door to find a small problem.

Hm. That’s… not normal.

Over in the Medibay, Trailcutter’s bubble has burst, allowing Megatron to slap him in the back of the head. This head-slapping induces his FIM chip permanently, making it so that he can never get drunk again.

Weird party trick, Megatron. Kinda shitty, really.

Megatron then gives Trailcutter the job of director of security, because he needs direction in his life. Trailcutter just sort of takes what he’s given, because I suppose you can’t really argue with a guy who can literally slap you sober, and also threatens to destroy you if you fuck up even once. Nice, Megs. Nice.

MEGATRON THAT’S BEEN SITTING LIKE THAT FOR OVER HALF AN HOUR YOU FUCKING WET NOODLE

So, since there’s mystery juice all over the floor and no one’s died, Megatron assumes that the coffin ought to be fine to crack open.

Please note that Megatron is not a medical professional, and his views are now peer reviewed by medical professionals. Megatron is in no way endorsed by the WHO.

Anyway, Rodimus is in there.

Pretty fucked up.

Back in the past, recess is over, and Ultra Magnus comes bearing bad news- Megatron wants to change his plea to “innocent.” This gets about the reaction one would expect from just about anyone.

Well, except Rodimus, who’s too busy reading that list that he wanted destroyed. He’s very sad about it.

I know, what a bummer!

[dappercritter]

Random She-Ra Season 5 Thoughts: THE FINAL RAMBLING

Yep. I finally got all my crazy absurd thoughts about this gay adventure-romance-drama cartoon summarized into one incoherent yet fun to read computer document/article! ...four months after the show itself ended. Oh well, no one’s perfect. Anyways, there are a whole lot more insane observations than ever before, so I had to put it below a link so this thing didn’t back up my blog or any of yours. Hope you enjoy reading through these as much I enjoyed spouting them for no discernible reason other than I felt like it!

-I feel that since is the last season, I ought to talk about an important part of the show that I’ve been putting off: the animation. It’s… okay. It’s definitely smoother than what the original 80’s show and it’s brother series (heheh) looked like, but at the same time it still seems to suffer from similar limitations which causes some distracting moments of stiffness. But other than that, it’s pretty good. It’s no Titmouse or Studio Mir but it looks good and it gets the job done.

         -After all, let’s not forget: “Imperfection is beautiful!”

-Even when things are at their lowest, Adora is a jock with a heart of gold.

-Horde Prime and the Galactic Horde’s aesthetic feels like a mixture of Catholicism, Scientology, Heaven’s Gate, and modern Microsoft, and honestly, that just makes him creepier.

-Speaking of Horde Prime, he didn’t waste any time with destroying Bright Moon. …apparently.

-Furthermore, on the topic of his giant holographic messages, WAS THAT A FREAKING MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE MOVIE REFERENCE?!

-Boy, Glimmer and Catra sure got along quickly! It’s almost like they magically understand each other because they both assumed leadership roles and screwed up big time! …I guess.

         -Either that or this season is going to be a speedrun.

-Wow, the Rebellion sure got used to having a once-thought-dead king as well as a known enemy general/abuser running around their camp awful fast, didn’t they?

-Mara’s got a spaceship, a cyber girlfriend, a magic grandma, a dragon, a tragic backstory, AND a force ghost?! Dang, even in death, the girl’s got it all. No wonder everyone likes her!

-(*me looking at the TV rating at the start of episode*) “Why is language in there? Is there surprise cuss words or something in this season?” (*sees Horde Prime seize control of a clone for the first time*) “HOLY FREAKING SH—oh that’s why.”

-Applause to the crew for making the “dinner with Prime” scene for making a meal between a sparkly princess, a catgirl, and alien cult leader feel even more uncomfortable than it had a right to.

-(*me throughout the season whenever a clone was onscreen*) Is that Hordak? Is that him? Is that him? Is that him right there? Oh it is—oh no wait. … Is that h—

-Extra applause for having Glimmer learn from her grey-area wetwipe phase and refusing to sell out her friends again whilst telling the imperialist cult leader where to stick it.

-I would pay a sizeable portion of my life savings to hear what a Scorpia and Swift Wind duet would sound like.

         -In fact, I’d double it if it was just Scorpia singing.

         -Ah what the heck. I would triple it for an entire She-Ra musical!

-As happy as I am to see to see Entrapta interacting with the other princesses again, I have to say that their big reunion left me with some mixed feelings. Here’s a quick rundown:

         -Entrapta, a grown autistic woman, being led around on a leash by non-neurodivergent teenagers—again: that’s bad.

         -The Princesses confronting Entrapta about joining the Horde: that’s good!

         -The Princesses blaming all their problems with the Horde bots on Entrapta’s actions and her hyper fixations alone: that’s bad.

         -Entrapta explaining herself, admitting that she regrets her mistakes, and getting the Princesses to understand that she thinks and communicates differently, but in spite of that, she really does want help find Glimmer: that’s good!

         -Entrapta never gets to call out the Princesses for how poorly they treated her: that’s bad.

         -Entrapta saves the day and goes to space: that’s good!

         -Scorpia and Entrapta still haven’t interacted even though the former is with the Rebellion in the first place because she went to look for her because she is her best friend: …can I go home now?

-How nice! Michah finally got to shapeshift!

         -And he’s rocking that She-Ra outfit to boot!

-So is Darla a back up of Light Hope or do they just run on the same operating system and have the same voice?

-I could watch an entire season of Adora, Bow, and Entrapta going on space adventure in a rundown ship with their custom-made spacesuits, tbh.

-Is anyone else weirded out that Catra’s younger self looked at her in her flashback(?).

         -Actually what WAS happening there, anyhow?

-(*watching Bow’s spacewalk to save Glimmer*) “Is that a Gravity reference?” asked the man who never saw Gravity.

-Speaking of spacewalks, how did Glimmer survive those precious few seconds in space? Does the teleporter teleport a breathable atmosphere too?

         -Also, Catra, WHY did you think it would be a good idea to teleport Glimmer into space? I know you had a plan and the ship was right there but… Ah, never mind.

-Not that I’m complaining but Glimmer’s apology to the rest of the friend squad for her HORRIBLE plan last season went… surprisingly quickly.

-You know as cool as The Star Siblings are, being a quirky band of space-travelling siblings with cool powers and some trans rep to boot, I only have one small problem with them: weren’t there already Star Sisters on Etheria back in season 1?

         -That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about Masters of the Universe characters to dispute it.

-Entrapta confirmed pan, objectum, AND horny on main. Dang girl, you’re gonna have fun whether you got Hordak back or not…

-“The Velvet Glove” is both a menacing and stupid name for a decadent overlord’s mothership.

         -Wait, it’s from the 80’s canon? Oh. That kind of explains it, actually.

-Goshdangit, I wanted Catra to face punishment for her crimes, but I didn’t think that would involve going to evil alien conversion therapy!

         -Nor did I want her to die! For a second. Actually, since it obviously wasn’t going to last I was… weirdly okay with that part???

-Horde Prime seems awfully okay with Catradora. I mean he’s still super creepy and manipulative about it, but also oddly progressive for an evil brainwashing cult leader.

-(*Adora transforms into a She-Ra through seer will*) First of all, called it. Second of all, WOAH MAMA now that’s a glow up!

-Wrong Hordak did not have to be a thing, and yet, I’m glad that he is.

-Hordak remembers the LUVD crystal and Entrapta… Hordak remembers Entrap—! It’s happening! Oh my gosh, it’s happening! Everybody stay calm!

-Wow, Entrapta didn’t have to be so forgiving of Catra for everything she’s done to her but she did. Only I’m not sure if that was Entrapta taking the high road or the low road.

         -Or which road the crew took for that matter.

-I remember when I thought those “Chipped AUs” floating around here on tumblr were just something the fans came up with and that chipping people was not an actual despicable thing Prime does in canon. I miss those days.

-I know it’s not the same as before or the original design, but True She-Ra’s designs and powers? I think they slappin’.

-Hooray, Adora and Catra are finally making up! And it only took four and half seasons worth of communication failures, toxic villainous behaviour, and physical violence for Catra to snap out of it!

         -…We can go back to Entrapdak now, right?

-Poor Elberon. First they unknowingly adopt a double agent then get invaded by the Horde and now they’re getting brainwashed and chipped by the Galactic Horde. They might be a cute village, but they got some pretty lousy security.

-You know it’s cute that Micah is doing his best to be friends with Frosta and get back in touch with his dad-side, but look I can’t be the only one worried about how the local King is a less proactive leader than the princesses or the known war criminal/abuser, right?

-“The Perils of Peekablue” or as I like to call it, “You Thought ‘Boys Night Out’ Caught You Emotionally Off-guard? Hah! Watch This.”

-You know I didn’t think Scorpfuma would be a thing aside that one moment of flirting near the end of season 4, but they really pushed for it to be a thing! This is… actually pretty great! Perfuma’s not perfect, and I would have appreciated giving them a little more time to bond and form some real chemistry, but at least she reciprocates Scorpia’s sweetness instead of rebuffing it in increasingly aggressive fashion.

-I’m not sure what’s more concerning: that Mermista set a boat on fire, that it’s worded like she had a fling as part of some experimental phase, or that Sea Hawk is turned on by this.

-Peekablue might not be real, (I think?) but he is one dapper dude! Female-to-male redesigns could learn a thing or two from him.

-It involved them getting stung and seizuring, but that was a heck of a way to reintroduce Double Trouble! I swear I got watching them cycle through their transformations in some sort of physical reaction.

         -Or maybe that was just me worrying about their wellbeing…

-Okay, I get the Chips are huge, and actually rather clever threat, but how do these characters get chipped in the first place? I get there are chipped people who spread the chips throught the population but where do they get those from???

         -Do one of those Horde Prime drones just sneak behind someone, slap a chip on their nape then hand them a whole bagfull and say, “Beep boop beep, Horde Prime’s Light, blah blah blah. Alright have fun, kiddo”?

         -Or is it some sort of Alien: Covenant deal where they’re just floating around and Lord help you if one sticks to you?

-HOLY CRAP THEY ACTUALLY GOT SCORPIA TO SING! AND SHE WAS GREAT!

         -Oh shoot. Guess I owe the crew twice my life savings now…

-Entrapdak might be what got me into this show, but it’s Double Trouble that kept me around, so you can imagine how happy I was to see them make their grand reappearance!

-Conversly, you can imagine my disappointment when they just disappeared until the finale.

         -And on that note: HOW DID YOU GUYS LOSE DOUBLE TROUBLE?!

                  -You forgot to cherish them, didn’t you?

-So, Scorpia sacrifices herself just after finding a new girlfriend and gaining some newfound confidence, Mermista and Sea Hawk are split up,and Double Trouble didn’t join the main cast. Why can’t you just have fun like a normal cartoon, show?

-Gosh, I love me some shifting title cards!

-Is it just me or did they sneak in some more Annihilation references on Krytis?

         (-Said the guy who was too chicken to watch the movie and just read about it and watched a few clips online.)

-(*audibly sighs*) FINE. I guess I like Catradora now. Are you happy now, SPOP Crew? ARE YOU?!

-Hooray, Catra’s got a emotional support animal! And they’re a shapeshifting magic alien cat. Those are the best kind!

-Is it weird that I knew that weird glowing stuff on Krytis was just magic all along, or was it just not hidden very well. Anyways, I like Krytis. I like that we got to see a truly alien world with its own form of magic.

-Plus, we got a logical advancement of the magic versus science subtheme with magic being Horde Prime’s weakness! Neato!

-Getting back on the “which is worse?” wagon for a second, I don’t know what feels less right: that Wrong Hordak’s big revelation and his resolution to free himself and his brothers and friends from Horde Prime’s control is played humorously, or that Real Hordak should be the one having this moment.

-That bit with Castaspella and Shadow Weaver where she tells Casta about Etheria being a living thing with inherent magical property, or whatever, while we got a peaceful shot of some boar creatures sleeping was actually kind of nice. It would have been nicer though if it wasn’t part of a power hungry abuser’s obvious scheme. If only there was a kindly old witch lady character who was in touch with nature and knew just what to say when someone was feeling downOH WAIT.

-Furthermore… Why did Shadow Weaver and Castaspella need to have romantic tension?

-Seriously though, where’s our Madame Razz quota this season? Where’s my supportive magic grandma timelord at, yo?

-Yup, they speedran this season.

-I’m actually really disappointed we didn’t see more of an intergalactic new rebellion rising up to fight Horde Prime’s forces across the universe. Especially if it meant we got to see more Star Sibling action!

-Again, I adore Wrong Hordak but I keep wondering what was keeping the crew from just bringing in Original Flavour Hordak. (You know, aside from teasing us Entrapdak fans and trying to distract us with a loveable new character in the meantime.) I mean he could have done the whole infiltrating the clone squads and tricking them bit, too.

         -Heck, he could have done the wink, too!

-I’d gleefully point out Loo-Kee’s cameo this season but apparently, they already made some several seasons ago. That’s what I get for not rewatching the 80’s show and training my eyes first.

-(*sees Erelandians*) Are those freaking Toads and Toadettes?

-So, what’s keeping them from just hitting Spinerella’s chip again? Besides emotional baggage and gale force winds, I mean.

-Perfuma coming out of a cave scared out of her wits, demanding to know who’s there, clinging to her friends as soon as they come back, and balling her eyes out is a big, BIG mood.

-Frosta absolutely decking Catra in the face was nestled somewhere between cathartic and excessive.

         -Netossa spraying her with a bottle of water on the other hand…

-Oh, so Greyskull was the name of a Rebel Squad! I think. Meh, the important thing is we got an explanation and it still sounds cool.

-Leave it to a couple of dads to make a secret message out of a dad joke.

-You know I made fun of Light Hope for being creepy, but I swear that avatar from the Spire is even creepier. I don’t know if it’s her face—those dang blank eyes, man—or just that it she’s less animated than the real thing, but it just felt… off.

-Aww, Noelle made Netossa’s princess weakness illustrations! So cute!

-Forget episodes that deserves Emmys, Keston John deserves one for voicing Hordak, Horde Prime, all the clones, and several minor villains and giving each and every single one a distinct voice! Where my king’s respect, eh?

-Yes, Catra you had a small disagreement with Hordak. …Over sending his girlfriend and your “friend” to DIE IN A LITERAL LIVING HELL.

         -Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system.

-Why does Perfuma get pressured to get angry and go wild when Entrapta’s the one who’s had it the worst out of all them? Why can’t my gamer girl go berserk, dammit!?

-Okay, but really, how do these fricking chips work??? Are they parasite devices who store Horde Prime’s Baptizing Dew then slowly pump it into their host’s bodies? Do they have their own nervous systems? Are they technorganic? Also, how and why do we need to make these chips are bigger threat then they need to be?

-Horde Prime showing up on Hordak’s throne in grand Killing Joke style and casually throwing shades at his brother’s overblown attempts to impress him is pretty awesome, but it feels strangely underdeveloped. Hordak’s not there to have his hard work insulted and we never got to see Adora have any similar encounter with Hordak here before, so unless you look at it from the perspective of someone who has been here before in the Horde story like Catra it lacks the dramatic weight it should have had.

-Scorpia resisting the chip to save her new friends was pretty great, though.

-I swear, when they got to the scene where Adora and the others figured out that Shadow Weaver was grooming her so she could use her to get to the Heart of Etheria, I was mouthing “You B***H” through the whole thing.

-They really brought back Etherian deep magic just so they had something to make Micah threatening. …okay.

-Okay, the rest of “Failsafe” messed me up, so here’s a rundown on all the other messy thoughts I had while the show ripped my heart and ground it to dog food:

         -Entrapta and Hordak reuniting: Yay!

         -Swift Wind yanking her away before she can get through to him: Boo.

         -Catra encouraging Adora to try and take care of herself for a change: Yay!

         -Adora hurts Catra and she runs away: Boo.

         -Adora finally calling out Shadow Weaver on what an utterly horrible person she is: Yay!

         -Adora resolves to risk sacrificing herself to save the world: Bo—okay, seriously, was all this suffering really necessary, show?

-I know I mentioned in my previous She-Ra random thoughts that I supported Glimmadora, but I am okay with Catradora and Glimbow ending up canon. The only problem I have is how rushed they feel—moreso with Glimbow. With Catradora, the crew had an entire season to make it work again and they took it. Glimbow it feels like they were down to the last few episodes and went, “Oh right, we were gonna do something with these two!” then did their darndest to fit in some chemistry in between all the other stuff going down.

-As ominous as it was, the music where Horde Prime starts hacking Etheria honestly SLAPS.

-Okay, I know everyone is magic or something, but I am legit surprised getting electrocuted in water didn’t kill the heroes right then and there.

-Sea Hawk tries to flirt with his girl even as she’s trying to kill him. Truly, he is a man of taste.

-What do you know, Shadow Weaver can only do good when she’s (canonically!) punch drunk.

-You know a whole lot of this could have been avoided if Holo-Mara was Adora’s mentor instead of Light Hope.

-When I think about it, it was actually really clever to make Horde Prime the final villain for Adora to face: a domineering decadent man who’s been in power forever against a humble emotionally vulnerable compassionate young woman.

         -Not to mention the divide between cult-like oppression and progressive freedom. Or something.

-Holy crap, did the First Ones get a great freaking a Great Old One for a guard dog?!

-So, you guys seriously didn’t bring Angella back to reunite with her family OR mention her all season after the impact her death had on everyone all last season until Glimmer needs a power-up at the last possible minute and then you never bring her up again. That is absolutely a dick move in bird culture.

-Entrapta’s hacker sticker gives me life. Gamer girl gremlin princess forever!

-On the one hand, I’m disappointed that Adora and Catra don’t get to have an awesome couple battle against the security monster and win. On the other hand, Shadow Weaver is finally dead. YAY!

         -With apologies to the writers and especially Lorraine Toussaint. She did splendidly bringing this character to life and even if I hated Shadow Weaver, I adored the effort she put into making her one of the most emotionally complex villains I’ve ever seen.

-Words cannot, will not, and will never describe the pure joy that I experienced when I first saw Hordak’s big scene: standing up to and disowning his tyrant brother, saving Entrapta, declaring his love to her (albeit in a nicely lowkey fashion), and then throwing Horde Prime to his apparent doom Disney style with Entrapta cheering him with sheer glee. GOSH, it was everything I could have hoped for from this season!

         -Now if only they kept the deleted scene where they got a moment to themselves before Prime body-jacked him again like the creepy sonuvabich he is.

-Horde Prime just wouldn’t be a religious villain if he didn’t tell everyone to burn.

         -Bonus points for actually trying to burn the frigging planet.

-Aside from the idea of Adora switching to wearing a She-Ra themed dress everywhere in the future, the future vision was really quite sweet, and seeing Prime step in to ruin it made it all the more impactful.

-Can I just say that it’s absolutely wonderful that the show, for all it’s flaws, said  “**** senseless heroic sacrifices”?

-BREAKING: Lesbian cat finally makes up with her jock ex, has a canon kiss so pure it saves the world!

         -In other news, Catradora fans are still spoiled rotten.

-Wow, look at all those character comebacks they skipped through! Look, there’s the chefs from Dryl, Double Trouble, Huntara, the Horde Trio, Imp, Madame Razz—are you kidding me?!

-Grumbling aside, I actually find the idea of the Horde Trio and Imp getting involved in a G-rated science-fantasy version of the first Hangover movie quite amusing.

-Oh dang, they pulled a Castle in the Sky with the Velvet Glove!

-As nice as it was to see Aodra save Hordak from Horde Prime and destroy the latter through exorcism via sheer compassion, I’m rather disappointed we never got to see She-Ra go full Metal Gear Solid Rising: Revengence on any creepy old cult leaders.

         -Yeah, it would have gone against the “love conquers all” set up, but love takes on many forms, does it not? So, why can it not manifest as cleaving your mortal enemies with extreme prejudice to save your loved ones?

-Furthermore, in addition to Holo-Mara being a better mentor, Hordak raising Adora instead Shadow Weaver could have prevented a lot of similar problems. Maybe. Possibly.

         -Eh whatever, he has a lifetime’s worth of fanfiction to make up for it.

-ENTRAPDAK IS CANON, ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

-And so is Catradora and Glimbow! That’s nice, too.

-Aww, how sweet of them to skip through Catra and Scorpia, and Glimmer and Micah’s big reunions! It’s not like we’ve been waiting forever for this stuff or anything. HahahahAHAHAHDHAHAHFHAFHKSADJHFKAJHDfine.

-And so it all ends with everyone either friends, in love, or both, as heroes decide to make up for it all with a grandiose sequel promising more exciting space adventures we probably won’t see! HOORAY!

-All snarky ranting aside, I actually really enjoyed the finale. It was exciting, heartwarming, and above all it ended on happy, hopeful note without leaving too many frustrating questions unanswered. (*glares with utmost contempt at Voltron and Star vs. The Forces of Evil*)

-You know, this wasn’t bad for a final season, but I think this might have worked better as two seasons. Not in Netflix’s cheap “split a regular 13-episode season in two 6-7 episode long seasons” strategy, but I mean two full seasons with their own storylines leading up to the grand finale:

         -First, one that starts out with Horde Prime’s arrival the downfall of Etheria, focuses on the space adventures, ends with their return to Etheria and gives the characters time to recuperate from season 4.

         -Then, we have one final season that focuses on the Best Friend Squad’s Return to Etheria, Horde Prime’s plan, gives everyone more time to properly reconcile before ¾ of the entire cast gets chipped, sets up a new Rebellion made up of Princess Alliance and former Etherian Horde members, maybe even set up a proper Hordak redemption arc or something, and then our big happy ending.

-On a mostly unrelated note, I also feel that the whole show could have turned out even better if it had been either a dedicated science-fantasy war drama with some levity (like the good Star Wars shows or Avatar: The Last Airbender) or a lighthearted yet empowering slice-of-life action-adventure romcom (i.e. basically a well-made remake of the original show in the style of Adventure Time and Parks and Rec or something).

-My final random thought for this whole thing: we really could have used a triumphant end credits song or something. Aside from obviously recommending Fabulous Secret Powers, I would have also recommended the original 4 Non Blondes “What’s Going On,” a reprise of “Warriors,” Gorillaz’s “We Got the Power,” or (my favourite) Talking Head’s “(Nothing But) Flowers” since the ending scenes remind me of it.

Thanks again to the crew for giving me something to live for and/or complain about!

Now, let’s hope the He-Man reboots do as well...

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I changed my mind, and decided I want to share some thoughts and initial impressions while I still have this show fresh on my mind, so here we go:

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Transformers War for Cybertron - Siege

The Good:

The transformation sequences, particularly the first ones we see, are so reminiscent of the stop-motion videos people do of their Transformer toys transforming, and I think that’s rather charming! I wonder if that was intentional or a coincidental side-effect of the animation style they went for.

Character traits aren’t set in stone. Although we, as a fandom, prefer certain portrayals (Starscream being a terrible gremlin, Skyfire/Jetfire being sweet, Bumblebee being a charming young lad, etc.) sometimes it’s nice to see something new! Both Cyberverse and WFC: Siege took a different direction with Jetfire’s character. Although it’s disappointing that we don’t get to see the Jetfire / Starscream friendship most of us expected, I think Jetfire’s growth throughout the season was interesting.

I also like that the colonies (Velocitron and Caminus, anyways) were confirmed to exist in this continuity. It was nice to see Chromia, Moonracer, Elita, and Arcee together in the same show too. That being said, Moonracer’s model looked exactly like Chromia’s so I was a little confused at first. The narrative also didn’t really endear her to me, so despite loving her in the comics, my thoughts were “Oh. That sucks but whatever I guess” when she died, which leads me to my next point:

The Bad:

The writing. 

This is particularly evident in the first three episodes; in fact, I almost stopped watching after Episode One. Siege lacks the soul and personality I’ve come to expect from the Transformers series as a whole. 

The script, particularly in the first few episodes, felt like it was written by people who aren’t familiar with these characters, so they’re writing Optimus, Elita, and everyone else how they EXPECT them to sound, not writing them as they actually are.

I don’t like to judge fellow writers too harshly because I know that often times, they don’t get a final say in a lot of things, but there were unfortunately a lot of things that could’ve been done better. 

As a Transformers fan, I’m already inclined to like the characters, but the show didn’t do much to make me really care about them or their problems* (with one exception, which I’ll circle back to). As much as I’d like to blame the 6 episode time-crunch, there was a lot of wasted dialogue time that could’ve been used to charm the audience. 

TLDR: There’s a lot of talking in the show but the dialogue doesn’t actually say a lot. It doesn’t reveal much about the characters, or tell me who they are, or why I should care about them.

* The one area where Siege actually did put in the footwork to make me care was in regards to Impactor and Ratchet (one of the few characters whose personality we really get a sense for despite not having too much screen-time). Immediately, we’re shown how Ratchet earned Impactor’s trust, and we see why Impactor is loyal to him. They built up that relationship, so when Impactor dies protecting Ratchet, we get to feel that payoff and actually feel bad about his death! (Unlike some of the other deaths in the show, which I just shrugged at.). Because of that scene, I’m hopeful that Siege will start focusing on building relationships between their characters more. The series got better as time went on, so I’m inclined to keep giving it the benefit of the doubt despite my initial misgivings.

I try not to compare different series too much because there are a lot of outside forces that determine what a show winds up being, but re: writing with a time crunch, I think it’s important to talk about a show that did use their time well: Transformers Cyberverse.

Cyberverse got me invested in its characters within the first episode. They only had 10 minutes to tell a story, yet they made good use of their time and wove a tight narrative while also giving their characters the opportunity to charm the audience. 

Although we can argue Cyberverse had more time to do this since they had more seasons, even one-off characters, such as Media Fire or Wild Wheel, had more of a personality by the end of the episode than some Siege characters did by the end of the season.

The stakes aren’t really clear. Why should we care about one side losing or winning? We’re given some reasons why it would be “bad” if the Autobots lose since Shockwave convinced Megatron to use something that will change their base programming (or whatever, even that was a little bit vague) but ultimately we don’t have clear motivation for Megatron OR Optimus, the two faction leaders! Although they imply that Megatron / the Decepticon’s roots were based in a civil rights revolution (a-la IDW1) even that is inconsistent. As a friend put it, “Megatron and Optimus are both huge idiots, why root for either of them?”

This is a minor thing, but as a writer it really bugged me so I’m making a note of it anyways: it was really annoying when characters kept pausing while talking. (Ex:  “I………*long pause* [the rest of their sentence]”). Characters also kept saying things, only to let their sentences trail off. The cadence of their voices felt unnaturally slow and scripted, so it was a little difficult not to zone out while they were speaking. Perhaps this wasn’t a problem for other people, but it really took me out of the moment. That being said, this wasn’t as much of an issue in later episodes, which I greatly appreciated.

Another minor detail: this show felt like a barren wasteland of comedy. There were one or two moments I chuckled at (and one I really laughed at---Shockwave and Soundwave’s reaction to Megatron telling Starscream “You’ve proven your worth to the Decepticon cause”) but for the most part, I would’ve appreciated a little bit more humor. I mean, I know this series is aimed at an older audience, but it’s a show about robots that can transform into cars. The entire premise is goofy if you think too hard about it, so a joke here or there isn’t going to ruin your vibe.

The Ugly

Decepticons and Autobots are two different races.

Even within the first few episodes, we know the foundation of the war started because of issues of oppression and slavery. This isn’t subtle---Megatron clearly spells this out for us on several occasions. This topic isn’t new, we’ve seen most other Transformers continuities parrot the same thing. So why is it different here? It’s a bit of a complex issue, but as a gal of color, it really rubbed me the wrong way, and I feel like it’s important to talk about.

The show implies many times that Autobots and Decepticons are inherently different. It’s not a matter of your allegiance or your beliefs---it’s what you’re born as. (Functionism, anyone?) 

Functionism itself was a very interesting Transformers-specific way to discuss prejudice and oppression, but to suddenly make it race-based feels a little...Hmm. More than a little uncomfortable.

It felt a little bit like they were saying: "Yes, we're tackling the topic of oppression! Yes, we're saying these two groups are inherently different, and therefore that excuses prejudice and supremacy arguments both the good guys AND the bad guys are making!" 

Big Yikes

The subject of genocide and eugenics-adjacent arguments came up several times, and while we saw aspects of that in IDW’s run, making it race-based puts it in a different light. An ugly light.

One final thing on that note: the entire thing with Prowl. "Prisoners outnumbered law enforcement so the council created core override implants as a deterrent. [...] It means we can remotely trigger brain detonation."

I’m sorry, what?

The entire concept of “Core override” was INCREDIBLE fricked up. Yes, they had the decency to make Prowl sound ashamed of it, and the rest of the Autobots sounded appalled, but the fact that they proceed to install it on Jetfire despite their initial repulsion was frankly disturbing, especially because Optimus (Optimus PRIME) agreed to it. It felt incredibly out of character for him, and it went against the Autobot code as a whole. Everything about that, and the race-division, made me really uncomfortable, and I’m not sure how well Siege is going to handle this moving forward.

As a whole, I feel like War for Cybertron: Siege has a lot of work to do. Although the last few episodes were definitely an improvement, there’s still significant room to grow and they need to work harder to create a compelling narrative with lovable characters.

In the meantime, what were your thoughts on the series? I’d love to know how other people reacted, particularly regarding the last bit.

[sepublic]

Region-District Parallels

           Fun fact; There is a direct duality, a parallelism between the six Elemental regions of Okoto, and the six districts of Xia in Bionicle: RaE! Each one corresponds to its other island counterpart, respectively, with Xia’s districts being a ‘dark mirror’ of the role the Mega-Villages serve on Okoto as well! Specifically, the Mega-Villages and their respective regions are synonymous in these dualities…

           Stelt parallels the Vuata Maca; The Macans grow flora, crops, and food, and Stelt is where nutrition and crops are mechanically-grown and hoarded within greenhouses and facilities! The Gukko Airforce acts as the primary means of transportation for people and goods across Okoto, and Stelt does the same with its Chutes for Xia! Trade and Okoto’s economy is facilitated by the Gukko Airforce, while Stelt is the main heart of its economy, with black markets, banks, smuggling, all that stuff going on.

           Tametru’s parallel to Tawahi is obvious; They both start with Ta and are adapations of Fire-related locations in G1. They’re both the hottest areas of their respective islands, and use that heat to melt down materials and reforge them into stuff. Weapons are made here, amongst other metallurgic tools.

           Now, despite its heavy reliance on water and its presence… Voymari is actually meant to mirror Marn! Yes, water is a big deal and Voymari has a few shipyards, but its primary export and industry is mining; Just as the people of Marn specialize as tunnelers due to their subterranean location. Voymari relies more on mining and changing the landscape than anything else, deals with minerals in the air, and so it’s just naturally more suited for the element of Earth.

           Zakaz and Levato go hand-in-hand. They’re both located in vast, barren deserts and rely a lot on scavenging. They have naturally brutal conditions, but also have entertainment; Levato specializes in the arts, in sculptures, as well as board-games, and sports like Kolhii. Zakaz’s entertainment comes in the form of brutal gladiator matches and races, but it also has its own sports like Akilini, and of course theater productions, studios, and casinos as well.

           Nynrah goes with Kiniga! This one is less obvious, and that’s my fault; I never DID make my own separate post detailing Kiniga, but I may do that soon! I think I’ve finally begun to figure it out, so look forward to that…! Anyhow, Nynrah was and in some ways still is the sector of education, and Kiniga is where a lot of schools and textbooks are located! Medicine and healing is a big deal in Kiniga, and in Nynrah, the Nynrah Ghosts work specifically towards the anatomy of others and how to alter it. Water is the stuff of life, and it can sustain it… But with Nynrah, it was used to carry chemicals, mutagens, and Visorak into the bodies of others, horrifically transforming and distorting them.

           Finally, Artidax is the direct counterpart to Kokoro! Both involve knowledge and information; Kokoro stores past texts, deciphers them, and reads the stars. It is well-versed in the lost traditions and ancient culture and religion of Okoto. Artidax’s computer-banks store vast quantities of information, and both areas value the power of the mind and ‘thought’. Artidax’s satellites can read weather patterns just as Kokoro reads the stars, and it relays information and decodes data transmissions, just as Kokoro interprets past texts and forms predictions, and then brings that information to the rest of Okoto through the Gukko Airforce. Both have arctic locations in the north; Or at least Artidax did, but most of the snow and ice has melted. Some of it still remains, however. Finally, while the Region of Ice hosts another race of sapient beings, the Frostelus, Artidax hosts sapience separate from humans in the form of AI!

           Additionally, each Xian District in RaE has the same symbol as their corresponding Metrus from Metru Nui, you can probably guess which is which at this point. As G1 fans may have noticed (so basically, 99% of the Bionicle fandom), I took a LOT of inspiration from Metru Nui’s industrial, hi-tech city setting! If Okoto adapts the mythical, island parts of Bionicle, I wanted Xia to be an adaptation of the futuristic, sci-fi part of it, its later years; This includes the Bara Magna saga as well, which is somewhat represented in Zakaz and its Baran Desert. Naturally, Xia’s G1 namesake itself, as well as the districts’ namesakes, played heavy roles in influencing the island and its landmarks and locations, to varying degrees.

           Each district also takes heavy, direct influences in terms of aesthetic, function, and appearance from locatons in other forms of media as well! Stelt is based off of the images we have of Xia in G1, specifically its polluted air and its dark, mechanical skyline. Its whole deal with trade is also from G1 Stelt as well. It probably has the least fictional influences, in all honesty.

           Tametru is based off of G1 Ta-Metru obviously… But a lot of it is also inspired by Hotland from Undertale! In fact, everytime I think of Tametru, Another Medium plays in my head… Hotland is almost entirely responsible for my conception of Tametru as a location, not gonna lie, and I personally consider Another Medium to be my ‘theme song’ for Tametru! I love that song…

           Voymari is actually based not only on Mahri Nui (specifically with the Fields of Airweed and the semi-aquatic setting), but also the look of its towns and the skyline and shipyards come from Corellia’s Coronet City from Solo: A Star Wars Story! Sue me, I thought it was a cool movie with lots of cool locations that visually inspired me… Also, the idea of ‘Saltlung’ comes entirely from the town of Stain’d-by-the-sea from All the Wrong Questions.

           Zakaz is… literally just Bara Magna from G1, combined with Mad Max. Not much else to say here, honestly, other than that it also some adequately-developed cities and small nations, kind of like how G1 Zakaz had some urban areas before Spiriah ruined everything. Like G1, Zakaz has a LOT of conflict, and the Skakdi as well to boot!

           Nynrah started off as Fallout’s post-apocalyptic wasteland, but then it was combined with a lot of Resident Evil after I got into the series and realized just how well it fit; Specifically, the whole situation with Raccoon City and monsters roaming about the streets. In all honesty, Resident Evil’s monster aesthetic and whole corrupt scientist group schtick has overtaken as Nynrah’s primary influence. There’s also just a LITTLE bit of Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, believe it or not. I went with the fact that G1 Nynrah had the Nynrah Ghosts, who are very science-oriented, and worked from there.

           Finally, Artidax is a combination of the aesthetic of Blade Runner and other cyber-punk settings, but is also blatantly ripped from Sanctuary Fortress, from Metroid Prime 2: Echoes! Brilliant game… Fun fact, Artidax was the last district to be planned and designed by me, by a LONG shot. For like three years, I didn’t even know what Artidax was supposed to be, what its function was, what it looked like; All I knew was that The Mountain existed within it, and that was about it. And even then, it wasn’t like I intended for The Mountain to have anything to do with Artidax’s lifestyle, as well! Occasionally, I even entertained just giving up and making The Mountain take up the entirety of Artidax…!

           But, I held on; I waited for inspiration, and lo it came to me with Sanctuary Fortress! I love Metroid Prime 2, it’s a great game and you should seriously play it! Metroid’s hi-tech, mythical settings are VERY conducive to Bionicle in general, and I have much to thank Retro Studios for their creative influence on me! Once I saw that mountainous region, with the hi-tech facilities of drones and computers, with coding that seemed to come from the skies… It all came into place!

           As you can probably tell, the Artidax District bears the least resemblance to its G1 namesake. The G1 Artidax was known for having a bunch of volcanoes and being where Makuta Miserix was imprisoned. I sort of tried to maintain that spirit by making the Artidax District mountainous (and mountains are basically sauce-less volcanoes), because I already had the heat and molten theme with Tametru. Mostly, I just took the name of Artidax because it was an island location in G1, and I needed a name for the final Xian district.

[dungeonbbq]

anyways. so. wfc siege was uh, something?

not nearly as bad as i thought it might be but theres certainly.... problems.

The animations not so bad imo, better than prime wars at least. Colors could use some saturation, and most of the setting is too... samey. Like, you’ve got grey, more grey, grey ruins, grey.... The only really distinct locations would be like, the arc, that arena megatron gave speeches in, and the sea of rust (but MAN did they go hard with that one, wish it had more screentime). Should’ve taken a cue from fall of cybertron for the rest of the settings. Uh, and the music was nice whenever I noticed it. Nothing really iconic that sticks into my mind but at the beginning I liked the combinations of strings/synths or whatever the hell they used. It could be worked on to be actually memorable though.

The voice acting is like. super hit or miss. Most of it was like, trying too hard to be dramatic and all “war is hell”. Plus I’m still miffed about hasbro clearly not wanting to pay cullen and welker, and apparently not wanting to work with union VAs. The decepticons also like, all have this same/similar quality even on characters I don’t think it necessarily fits? Like they’re all “yes, I am eeevilll” and then that voice comes out of frickin impactor, who I’ve always seen as more gruff. Also impactor should have gotten an f-bomb. Soundwave’s voice is off, and feels like he doesn’t have very much.... presence, compared to everyone else. Shockwave’s voice isn’t bad by itself but I think the VA would be better suited by a less G1 design.

Elita-1, arcee, chromia, and moonracer’s designs kind of suck. They all have incredibly similar silhouettes (to the point several of the subtitles incorrectly identified one as another) and stick out like a sore thumb against the dudes. They’re significantly more frail, and have alot of round shapes and lack of kibble, and it’s clearly because they’re girls. G1 accuracy is worthless if it it’s done like this. They have these like, weird necks too? The guys are more like, segmented from their heads, because fleshy looking necks has always been weird in transformers. Also, rip moonracer you had no character whatsoever but we’re still expected to be sad about you I guess.

Speaking of character, I feel like transformers media is particularly prone to relying on past material to do the characterization work instead of actually writing it in. We all expect a character to act a certain way, so the writers take advantage of that to fill in the gaps they’ve left. Most of the characters weren’t really compelling to me, and then the like, exact second I start giving a shit about impactor, he gets shot like once and dies. Death is largely inconsistent in this franchise. Dude has a skyscraper land on him and gets saved, but can’t take a bullet mr. president style without getting shafted. And not to mention like, whats-his-face. Cog. got half his torso blown out and he was back up in no time. It’s all about what’s convenient for the writers. Back to talking about characterization. 2~ hours of content isn’t enough time to flesh out the cast at all. You’d have to drastically reduce the amount of characters, and just aim for a movie instead of a six episode series. Like, we clearly saw what a lack of time did for cyberverse, hasbro seriously needs to learn that these kinds of constraints are always going to negatively impact the show.

Also, like, am I the only one who’s getting kind of tired of this whole megatron and revolution thing? Like, it keeps being done kind of. crappily. And nobody really wants to do anything different in a substantial way. Siege being absolutely no exception because it’s always talked about by the characters in extremely vague terms, like going back and forth constantly like “no YOU started the war” and  “no YOU broke the planet” and it’s so boring. Give me an actual series of events. Show me what happened, show me why characters did these things, show me a halfway new take on it.

Oh, and like... this weird ass forced oplita is weird. I’m not opposed to the pairing in concept but, like I’ve said, there’s not much room to make decent characterizations and arcs and develop relationships. Plus it’s like... they really go hard on the no homo bro thing with mags and megs. Like. They Knew. But after all that I’m betting money impactor/ratchet is going to be like, THE ship for this whole series, maybe with some impactor/mirage on the side. Anticipate that, hasbro.

In the end hasbro probably isn’t going to change much, because we’re all still going to watch it, and we’re all still going to buy the toys. Well, I mean, maybe not all the toys. Earthrise arcee sucks so bad.

[themoonthestarstheplanet]

Courage Of Stars Snippet

(This is a small snippet of my ‘Courage Of Stars’ Transformers series that follows Original Characters; Altair Prime, Moonbean, Drax and Honeypot as they try to solve their problems and find their place in life after Cyberton’s Fall. THIS snippet focuses on Autobot Jolt and how he sees the ‘Nexus’ around him and how he interacts with the people living there. 

Following characters; Jolt, Moonbean, Songbird, Daybreaker (Mentioned), Armsmaster (Mentioned), Faultline (Mentioned), Optimus Prime (Mentioned), Nova Prime (Mentioned), Altair Prime (Mentioned), Prima (Mentioned), Solus Prime (Mentioned), Megatronus Prime (Mentioned), Nexus Prime (Mentioned), Onyx Prime (Mentioned) Primon (Mentioned), Guardian Prime (Mentioned), Vector Prime (Mentioned), Alpha Trion (Mentioned). 

Songbird Belongs To @wolfsrainrules and @north-peach. Moonbean, Daybreaker, Armsmaster, Faultline and Altair Prime Belongs To Me.

Pinglist; @vice-virtue)

"Fleet Admiral!" A young femling called, catching his attention. He turned to look, saw Moonbean doing so at the corner of his optics, and watched a young, pale blue with dark almost Allspark blue highlights stumble to a stop a few steps away from them. 

She was pretty, not in the spark dropping way that some femmes had before their decrease in numbers but in the way she held herself. Soft, excited and happy. Her field bubbled with positive emotions that stretched out to envelop his own. 

He doubted she was aware of it, as she only had optics for the seeker beside him. Moonbean's lips twitched, telling him that she too had been subjected to the little femlings field. 

"You know my name, Songbird." She said gently, her denta curling slightly. 

Songbird, the femme, blushed a dark blue that spread across her faceplate and her cooling fans kicked on. "Fleet Admiral!" She said again, her fans turning off as she shook herself from her flustered state. 

Moonbean sighed, and because he was close to her he could feel her field flicker with resignation and a small amount of fondness that caused him to smile. 

"Yes?" 

"The Rarities are finished, ma'am!" The grounder femme said, throwing her hands in an untidy salute that screamed rookie. "Armsmaster and Faultline have finished updating them, the rooms are ready for use again." Songbird grinned, field bursting with joy. 

She was cute. And very bubbly. He thought to himself, amused. But, what was 'Rarities'? He hadn't heard of them before. At least, not that he could remember.  It might have been something from before the war, however. Jolt’s memories of those cycles were hazy at best and nonexistent at worse. It hadn’t helped that he had only been just reaching the age of youngling when the war had been kickstarted instead of the hushed whispers and rumours. 

"Oh?" Moonbean inquired, moving past the small grounder with a wave for him to follow. He did, curious over what they were talking about and where they were going. "Anything else?"

Songbird nodded, bouncing on her pedes as she walked between them. "Yup! Armsmaster said he made a few adjustments and stuff, Faultline called him a perfectionist and kicked him out, so he went off to sulk somewhere. Probably with Seafire." She looked over at the seeker pointedly with a small, teasing smile. 

Moonbean huffed, a small sound that somehow managed to carry her amusement, and shook her helm. "Of course," she said dryly. "What adjustments?" 

"He made them bigger, like the real ones, so it's easier to see them even if others are already there." 

"You've already played around with them, haven't you?" Songbird shot her superior an overly innocent look, causing both of them to snort. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She answered, convincing no one.

“I’m sure,” Moonbean answered. They moved down the corridor, passing by a couple cybertronian’s that nodded or saluted Moonbean. 

That came to a stop at a large blue door that Songbird opened and stepped inside, Jolt and Moonbean following behind her.   

The room was large, overly so with high ceilings that could probably have space even if Daybreaker stood on three clones of himself. Sitting in the middle of the room was twelve altars, one of them was covered in a large grey tarp that hid the name etched on the plague from view. 

Jolt hummed and after getting a nod from Moonbean walked closer to the altars. He squinted at the plagues and read the old glyphs there with a feeling of anticipation in his tanks.

PRIMON. One read in ancient cybertronian. FOREFATHER; FIRST OF THE PRIMES, it said underneath a small symbol of a planet.

It was curious, for it to have read of a cybertronain so ancient that the only mentions of him were in the recordings and documents of the Original Primes, and even then it was only in the letters between Alpha Trion and Vector Prime that they had managed to salvage that had even mentioned him.

PRIMA, the next one said and like the first, a large sword with the words Star Saber inscribed on it sat above the rest. VICTORY; ONE WHO LEAD OTHERS INTO LIGHT.

NOVA. He read the next one, his symbol small, almost unseen but undoubtedly of a telescope. CURIOSITY; HE WHO BROUGHT OTHERS AND MADE THEM INTO ONE. 

It was of the Primes, the first ones. The ones who had made Cybertron from the ground up, made their society and rules, traditions and others.

GUARDIAN. TRANQUILLITY; HE WHO BROUGHT BOTH THE GOOD AND THE BAD. A circle of flags, one with Cybertrons main symbol, another for Caminus. Antila. Paradon. Velocitron. Archon. Neutronia and a few others he didn’t have the name for but could guess were colonies. 

Cybertron colonies. He looked over the words and it hit him a moment later what the Prime had wanted when he lived. Equality and Unification. 

VECTOR. STABILITY; THE ONE THAT SOUGHT BALANCE BEFORE ALL ELSE. An hourglass half-empty-half-full, fitting for the guardian of time and space. 

ALPHA TRION; EFFICIENCY; HE WHO THOUGHT OF NONE BAR THE NEXT. A quill was next, amusing in its accuracy as Optimus had always called his older mentor an avid writer. 

SOLUS; COURAGEOUSLY; SHE WHO MADE THE OLD INTO THE NEW. Of course, Solus Prime’s symbol was that of her Forge, frighteningly detailed and realistic. 

NEXUS; IDEALISM; ONE WHO SEARCHED FOR PEACE IN WAR. Nexus Prime’s symbol was baffling, a shield that was marked and dented yet still usable even if it looked worse the wear.

ONYX; TEMPTATION; HE WHO BROUGHT HIS FATE UPON OTHERS.  Large wings, spreading to both of the edges of the altar. It was the largest picture he had seen on the monuments and if what he knew of the Prime was true, oddly fitting for the beast.

MEGATRONUS; STRENGTH; HE WHO BROUGHT BOTH FEAR AND COURAGE TO ALLIES AND FOES ALIKE. Underneath his words were visible even if his symbol was not, four large claw marks disfiguring the picture from view that he couldn’t make heads or tails of what it was. FALLEN, LOST HIS WAY FROM THE CORE OF THAT WHICH THE EVERTREE GREW.

ALTAIR; WISHFUL; THE ONE THAT LIVES IN THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE. Even more oddly, Altair Primes symbol was of three things, a circle, a square and a thin line that looked like a sword.

On the last one, covered by the trap he could make out just the slightest of writing. It seemed to call to his spark, seeping into his every joint and wire, warming his frame and leaving him in awe. And even though he could not see it, his optics seemed to light and glow a bright Matrix blue like never before.

OPTIMUS. It said, neatly etched into the smooth metal beneath the Autobot faction symbol. HOPE; HE WHO IN DARKNESS, BRINGS THE GREATEST OF LIGHTS.

It was just words, glyphs of a Prime, it shouldn’t have had him venting heavily and feeling weak in the knees, nor feeling like his spark was about to burst with how much it had swelled up. There was a feeling that rushed through him, powerful and relaxing in equal measures. It was an emotion he hadn’t felt in a long time, and even when he had never had he felt it to such extent. 

Hope.

He stared wide optic at the altar for an unknown amount of time and felt small, but not weak nor insignificant almost in a sense, protected and loved. It was something he could not name, it was a feeling that seemed to curl through his whole body and almost, it almost seemed to strengthen his frame.

“The altars have a purpose besides being a monument,” Moonbean interrupted him, breaking him from the foggy daze like trance he had been trapped in. He turned to look at the femme as she watched Songbird scutter over to the altar with Nova itched onto it. She was smiling, soft and at peace, in a way that he hadn’t ever seen her look like. 

It was nice. She definitely looked beautiful when she smiled like that. Her sharp features and piercing optics softening and making her look more approachable, to him at least. 

“Or for us to see what they looked like.” She continued. Songbird pressed something on the altar, close to the symbol - it probably was the symbol - and the top of it lit up, frizzily and sparking for a few seconds before a holograph appeared. A mech was made out of the pixels, he was tall, towering over Songbird and even though it should have been terrifying it wasn’t. He was black, with white legs and arms. Large with two wheels on both hands and feet and his biolights were a bright orange-yellow that came from his lower chest and kibble sticking from his shoulders. 

The strangest thing about him was the long, rotary blade-like kibble that extended from his shoulders-to-forearms and beyond his possible reach unless he was really, really flexible. The blades looked like helicopter rotaries but at the same time, they didn’t. 

“The response you got from Optimus Prime’s monument is normal.” She said. “The others get different reactions to the Prime the bot in question has the closest ties too.”

“Closest…?” Jolt wondered. “Then, who is the one you’re closest too?”

Moonbean’s smile dropped, not disappearing completely but not as content and happy was before. “Altair.” 

He nodded, watching her with considering optics. Wishful, huh?

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 17: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: No, no absolutely--but I'm talking about--

S:I know.

O: --like, Aliens!

S: I know.

O: You know, and it’s just like--

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 17: Autobot Spike.  Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Mm-hmm.

O: Also a note for, uh, I guess season 2 onwards?  Uhh, we are gonna go by the order that's on my DVD set, because that's the set we're using when we're scripting.  Ah, it technically, it seems like it's the um, airdate order versus if you go on the TF wiki it's like by episode--

S: It varies though, the page I was looking on for when I was doing the reordering on the fanfic rec document, it has like episode number or airdate number and then like, actual order number on the other side, it was like what?

O: Yeah, it was like the episode internal number for the studio or for the writing staff or something. I'm not really sure I understand it, but basically if you go on TF wiki or at least the page we have initially used to like, make our spreadsheet for things, it uses that number instead of the air date and I think the DVDs are using the air date.  So that's what we're gonna go off of just so we don't have to try to keep track of it as much.

S: So yes, some of these may not be in chronological order, I guess?

O: Uh so, if you're like, “Hey why did you do this episode instead of this episode?” that's probably why, we will still get to all of them though.

S: Yes, we will.  Just weird order.

O: Yeah.  We had to pick something and this is what we did.  Anyway, welcome to season 2 of the Transformers, complete with a brand new opening and teasing us with brand new characters. (And by characters we meet toys.)

S: Yes, yes new toys to add to your burgeoning army.

O: [laughs] Today at the Autobot base, Sparkplug is playing God!

S: The Autobots are just fine with this.  Apparently, they don't have um, moral or ethical quandaries with this.

O: I mean considering that um, Wheeljack and--

S: The Dinobots.

O: Yeah, I was going to say, Wheeljack and Ratchet just decided to create new life ah, no problem.  I guess, yeah, they must not be worried about a God complex.

S: I guess.

O: Uh, Sparkplug’s new creation is called Autobot X.

S: Unfortunately, he's definitely not a looker.

O: Autobot X is a literal Frankenstein's monster uh, made out of a hodgepodge of spare Autobot parts.

S: He's even got bolts on his helmet where his neck should be, it’s um, yeah.

O: He's like--I wanna say he didn't have much of a neck, which is why we phrased that way, but yes.  Uh, Spike even calls it a Frankenstein's monster.  Which confuses poor Bumblebee but Spike doesn't want to take the time to explain the human pop culture reference to his giant alien robot friend.  This is fine.

S: Honestly, he could just direct him to the library.

O: Or put on a movie. [laughs]

S: Yeah.

O: We know a movie exists in this world!.

S: Yeah, as we will um, see later.  Autobot X is an amalgam of Prowl, Bluestreak, Sunstreaker, Optimus Prime, Trailbreaker, Jazz, and Hound parts.

O: It's apparently got Jazz's crotch.  Uh, to which, all we can say is, he's got a party in his pants.

S: Yes, literally!  Especially if he can do that speaker doohickey--if he's got those speaker doohickeys somewhere.

O: Weirdly enough he seems to have a mostly unique face, uh, helm, uh, that kind of reminds me of Ultra Magnus?  Which is hilarious, cuz Ultra Magnus doesn't even exist in the series yet.

S: Yeah.  Sparkplu--well actually, presumably they know about him and they just decided to make his face look like that.

O: Okay, but if Sparkplug--

S: I mean in uni--I mean in universe not the--

O: No-no-

S: Oh no, you’re right.

O: Because Sparkplug’s the one that made him, and so Ultra Magnus, if he--it does exist which presumably he does--

S: Yeah.

O: He's on Cybertron--

S: Yes.

O: And Sparkplug would have never met him!

S: Yes, the Autobots didn't have any, like contribution to the--

O: The design? [laughs]

S: Unless they just had like, a face that looked like Ultra Magnus’s lying around.

O: I don’t know.

S: Which would be weird.

O: That’s so weird!

S: Let’s move on now, shall we?  Sparkplug is gunning for a Wheeljack's job as resident mad scientist.

O: Wheeljack seems vaguely insulted by this, as he should be.

S: Mmm-hmm.  Surprising no one, Autobot X begins rampaging around the room destroying things, and Sparkplug can't control it.  I'm not sure why they expected any differently, considering what happened with the Dinobots but...

O: This proves that Sparkplug may be at Wheeljack’s level, but he certainly hasn't surpassed it. [laughs]

S: Yeah...yeah.  So on the list of powers this abomination has, we have super-strength, force lightning as it combats the Autobots' attempts to subdue it.

O: Autobot X is knocked out and Sparkplug laments that it needs to be perfected.

S: [sighs] Sparkplug.

O: Everyone here makes terrible decisions.

S: They do, they do.  Wheeljack and Ratchet offer to help, with Wheeljack wanting to shove Autobots' consciousnesses into Autobot X while their bodies are being repaired.

O: Just put them in stasis!  It’s easier!

S: I'm not sure why their minds somehow, um interfere with the repair process but, that's the logic we're going with.

O: Apparently, and Optimus is totally okay with this horrifying idea.

S: Clearly he hasn’t put a whole lot of thought into it.

O: Like, it cannot be an easy process to swap bodies around like, otherwise people I think would do--er, um--robots would do it more often in this series!

S: Well, we do see the Combaticons’ like, does little cube thingies that Starscream steals from robot prison--

O: Yeah, but that’s not their--

S: --later but...

O: I mean, you’re right, but still.

S: It's-it’s very different, that's their personality components or whatever.

O: Yeah.

S: [unintelligible]

O: So, at this point in time, Teletraan I goes off alerting the Autobots to the presence of Decepticons.

S: And as the Autobots roll out we must remember that this is the start of a new season so let's have another toy roll call except--I think, these are--I don't think any of these characters are new?

O: I don't think they are, but they're reminding the kids who have come back you know, presumably after however long since the new season got, you know, uh--

S: Last season ended or whatever.

O: Last season ended, yeah, that’s what I mean.  The Decepticons are apparently attacking the *New* Air Force rocket base.

S: And then trained army men try to shoot the Cons with teeny, teeny, tiny handguns.  It's silly.

O: It's very silly, and then Megatron fires a warning shot that doesn't actually hit any of humans.

S: Though I must say, I don't think I saw any cannons in this particular base.

O: No, no this one actually looked like, you know it was maybe up to date with the 80’s weaponry!

 S: Yeah...those were some really big rockets.

O: Yeah.

S: The Autobots proceed to show up.

O: With Starscream wordlessly pointing as they approach.

S: And then a fight breaks out.

O: As it is prone to do in this particular series. Uh, and to get back on my high horse--fuck you Brawn, uh, he kicks Soundwave into a giant rocket here, which then proceeds to knock down a bunch of other rockets.

S: It's like dominoes.

O: Dominoes!  But with rockets!

S: Instigated by a robot getting kicked into them.

O: Yes, that was poor Soundwave.

S: Um-hm, and the Autobots were specifically trying to avoid all of this damage happening which makes it more infinitely hilarious that it actually happens.

O: Brawn clearly didn't get the memo. [laughs]

S: The fighting continues, with Thundercracker and Skywarp destroying the other rockets in the base.

O: Bumblebee and Spike arrive on scene.

S: There will be regrets.

O: [laughs] Just regrets!?!

S: Megatron and Soundwave take off, with Megatron turning it into his gun mode and Soundwave firing him at Bumblebee as a diversion.  And then Optimus gasps, “They hit Spike!”

O: No they didn’t!  They didn’t even hit Bumblebee!  They hit in front of Bumblebee and then he just kind of fell over on his side!  I’m not saying Spike would be unaffected, but I certainly don’t think this was--should be life threatening!

S: Yes, but this is like, a bug made out of a giant alien robot that presumably doesn't have fucking airbags and there is no restraining harness, no seat belt.

O: He wasn’t even going that fast though, and it was like, kind of this slow tip over!?!  It just--it didn’t look like a--just didn’t look like it should have done that much!

S: It probably didn't do much to Bumblebee but that doesn't mean that Spike didn't hit his head in an unfortunate manner.

O: I-- [unintelligible muttering]

S: I think is dumb but they went with what they went with and we can't really argue with it.

O: [groans]

S: At least I don't think we can.

O: Ohhh, watch me! [laughs]

S: Well, okay, yes we can.

O: [continues to laugh]

S: [sighs] Megatron is very happy at the possibility of having killed a 14 year old boy.

O: Ironhide and the others pull out Spike and load him up into Ratchet.  You know, moving someone who might have a spinal injury or a head injury.  This is fine.

S: They did not take proper precautions and Spike is apparently in critical condition so...probably the Autobots hurt him more than the fall did.

O: Quite possibly!  And then we cut to a doctor talking to Sparkplug and--who says, “If only we could separate Spike's mind from his body!”

S: It's called a medically induced coma, you ass.  And then Sparkplug says, “Oh hey, wait!”

O: Alright, I buy that we can move a robot's mind around because machines and electricity or whatever but why on earth can this be possible with a human mind in this series?

S: I don't know, but it sure set up some stuff that fanfic writers use.

O: Oh, did it!

S: Um-hm.

O: And as if we need more Frankenstein shenanigans in this episode, back at the Ark, the Autobots prepare to transfer Spike's mind into Autobot X.

S: Ratchet says that Spike’s mind not being in his body will allow the doctors to operate and I mean how does this help with anything?

O: I don't see how it possibly could.

S: I mean--

O: I really don’t!

S: Unless it's some sort of brain surgery, I could maybe kind of see that.  Maybe, maybe.

O: Even then that seems unlikely though.

S: Yeah, I don't-I- don't know. I'm spitballing here.

O: [laughs]

S: Is there a doctor in the house? No, no, we've just got a bunch of mechanics.

O: Surely nothing can possibly go wrong here!

S: This stupidity does indeed work.

O: And by work, we mean Spike begins rampaging all over the lab just like Autobot X!

S: He's a very unhappy camper. Anyway, Spike is ramp--anyway, Spike is rampaging around the lab yelling, “WHYYY!?!”

O: You know, why have I been turned into an abomination?

S: [sighs]

O: Sunstreaker and Sideswipe come in and try to restrain him, but Spike just yeets both of them through the air.

S: That's kind of great.

O: It is kind of great, but I feel bad for Sunstreaker and Sideswipe.  They did nothing to deserve this, this episode.

S: Yeah, and then Optimus shoots Spike to stop his rampagey ways.  And then Sparkplug is very apologetic for what they've done saying that did the only thing that they could think of.  Which was--

O: Which was clearly sneak Spike out of the hospital in the middle of the night because when Sparkplug told the doctor this was the plan, they must have thought he was nuts!

S: Who the heck knows, I think it's--I think the entire plot is dumb but let's move on from that.  Autobot X is super freaking tall, he's at least as tall as Optimus so that's kinda…

O: It's really big!  Cuz Optimus is like, one of the biggest ones.

S: Yeah, like Skyfire I think, is taller but..

O: Skyfire is way bigger but-but out of a like, kind of normal cast like, Optimus and Megatron tend to be the biggest.

S: Yeah.

O: Surprise though, Laserbeak has been here the entire time recording all of this!

S: He's a good spy.

O: He's a good spy, unlike Bumblebee. [laughs]

S: Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't--

O: I apologize for nothing!

S: Bumblebee, you do not stand up to transform when you are within sight--

O: [laughs]

S: --of the people you're spying on.  Don't do it.  Nevertheless, he totally did it, and then he got brain tentacled for his troubles.

O: Yep, cuz we needed more reminders of that.  Anyway, our good birb returns and reports to Megatron.

S: And then Megatron decides to see if he can use Spike's instability to destroy the rest of the Autobots.

O: With Starscream living on the edge again, ah, insulting Megatron to his face and getting shoved for his troubles.

S: Back at the Ark, Ratchet is still trying to fix Bumblebee and Spike has apparently been left under the care of Wheeljack.

O: Which by left under the care of Wheeljack, that means he got shoved into a room with a TV and you'll never guess what movie is on!

S: Yep, we're being very on-the-nose today.

O: Surprise, surprise--it's Frankenstein.

S: And as Igor shouts, “You’ve created a monster!” on TV, Spike destroys the television set. Which may or may not be part of Teletraan 1.

O: Yeah, he then begins to trash the rest of the room too.

S: That's it, no more TV for you for six months, Spike!

O: To add to Autobot X's weird power list--he also has jet feet.

S: Obviously, we gotta make this body that we're just gonna put people in occasionally very, very useful and let it fly.

O: Uh, Sparkplug decided he was gonna cram in the features here, you know.

S: He just wanted all the features.

O: He wanted all the features.

S: Ratchet, Wheeljack, Sparkplug, and Bumblebee attempt to calm Spike with little success.

O: Spike smashes his way out of the Ark, and we see that Reflector’s been left on surveillance on the Decepticon side.

S: You gotta use what you have and when you have a camera, yeah.

O: Still better at surveillance than Bumblebee!  [laughs]

S: Yeah. [laughs] Bumblebee follows on the ground, apparently without a working method of communication back to base as Ratchet has yet to repair his radio transmitter.

O: Reflector’s also following Spike, holding position until Megatron arrives.

S: And Spike is just holding an entire darn conversation with himself basically saying--he's a monster, so no helping humanity for him.

O: I know they keep saying he's unstable but him being evil here is just kind of weird.

S: He's more chaotic neutral than anything, I guess?  But I think, he's like--99% of his impulse control was split between Bumblebee and being super tiny and neither of those is currently available to him, so…

O: [laughing] True!  He’s currently as big as Optimus Prime and Bumblebee is not here quite yet.  Uh, Bumblebee does however, catch up with Spike and warns him that his current body is making it harder for Spike to think but Spike whacks him off a cliff with a tree.

S: I'm going to amend that and say that most of his impulse control was being tiny and not being able to do dumb shit.

O: I could--I can believe that, although Cliffjumper being tiny and doing dumb shit does not seem to be a hindrance.

S: Yes, but the thing is Spike is a lot squishier than Cliffjumper.

O: True.  Megatron shows up with other cons in tow.

S: And Reflector’s t-posing for dominance here so...um, take that as you will. [laughs] Spike and the Seekers fire on each other but Megatron lands and tells them to stop fighting.

O: We, uh get a glance at Megs’ apparently trick knee here as an animation error causes some really funky motion with him.

S: Yeah.  Bee is able to climb back up and he attempts stealth.

O: He is literally standing behind Megatron with his head perfectly visible, um, from behind some rocks.

S: [exasperated sigh] Then Megatron apparently offers Spike Starscream's job or being second, “Only to me!”

O: Spike seems to agree, as he shakes Megatron’s hand and wants to, “Make them pay real bad!”

S: [even more exasperated sigh]

O: [laughs]

S: Bumblebee escapes back to the Air Force Base, where Optimus and company are currently working.

O: The Autobots arrive to confront Spike, who is wielding Megatron and fires on them.  Weird Autobot X power number 4:  Boobs slash headlight cannon laser gun thing.

S: Considering but that's Prowl’s chest, that tells me more than I expected the cartoon to tell me about Prowl.

O: Yeah guys, tmi.  Tmi!

S: I mean, we never see Prowl do that.

O: [while laughing] We never see Prowl do that!

S: Apparently, he's just very polite so…

O: It is impolite to shoot things out of your boobs!

B: [giggle]

S: The Seekers enter the fray, and then Ironhide fires...oil from his arms at them?

O: I guess we'll just add that to the list of Ironhide’s Swiss Army knife abilities.

S: God, Ironhide can do so much stuff!

O: So much shit.

S: Sparkplug shows up then and gets shot at, but Spike panics and saves him with--

O: Autobot X power number 5!  Weird grippy claw, thing.

S: Which apparent--I think that's supposed to be like, Trailbreaker’ss gun, but I don’t know…

O: We don’t know what this thing is, but he uses it!

S: Yup, it’s like...yeah, yeah.  Megatron attempts to get Spike to defeat the Autobots, but Spike instead fires on the Decepticons

O: But Spike’s sworry, so he's forgiven.

S: Yeah, um, at some point Megatron and the Decepticons just...skedaddle.

O: Yeah, they just leave.  They're done for the day, this plan did not work, bye.

S: Yeah and so, Spike is zapped back into his real body and the transfer device breaks and then Bumblebee wonders what it would be like for a robot in a human body.

O: Sadly, when we actually do get this in canon or in the cartoon it's kind of boring and in my opinion, this is not the best characters they could have picked for the scenario.  Just legitimately, I think the entire thing would have been vastly improved if it had been all cons. Involved say, Starscream, Soundwave, and Megatron, yes?

S: There is actually um, a piece of fan fiction by Wayward [Insecticon] that is basically that.  All the Decepticons get turned into humans.

O: And I'm willing to bet it is better than the episode where fucking Arcee, Rodimus, and uh-- Rodimus, Ultra Magnus and--

S: Springer!

O: Springer do because that one...the only good thing in that episode was me dead-ass looking at the screen and going, “Rodimus definitely, definitely had sex with that woman the night before and she is bringing him breakfast in bed.”  There is another explanation for this and I will say the same damn thing when we go through the episode.

B: [laughing]

O: Regardless, that is it for today.  Join us next time for, “The Immobilizer,” or as I like to call it:  Hello Carly! [said in the same tone as, “Hello nurse!” from Animaniacs]

S: It'll be nice to see Carly.

O: I like Carly, so I'm looking forward to this, also, we get--Wheeljack cuz this is one of Wheeljack’s inventions, yeah?

S: Um-hm.

O: Alright, so Specs, what fanfic do we have for today?

S: Ok, today we have two pieces of fanfic.  There technically could be three, but the third one, it has actually been removed from the internet.  And while I could use the Wayback Machine to get you to the author's site.  Since they removed it from Fanfiction Net, I don't think that's a thing I should do.  Which makes me sad because I really, really like that one and...yeah.  And I've got well, I have a copy of it cuz I saved--I saved the mobi back when it was still on Fanfiction Net.

O: Yeah.

S: Um, but since I can't really share it with anyone I'm not going to include that one, though I might mention the name.  But, so, I have two that are readily accessible to share.  Um, “Chrysalis,” by Ape32.  It’s G1 cartoon AU, rated T, for teens, and it's Gen. I've only actually gone through the first three chapters of this one so if there is um, romance in later chapters I'm afraid I don't--I haven't reached that part yet.

O: So none as first we're aware, right now.

S: Yes.

O: Apologies if there is later, however.

S: Yes, thank you, thank you very much.  So characters:  Spike, Sparkplug, various Autobots and Decepticons.  And in summary, uh, “It’s g1 a season two AO.  Spike's life is changed forever by his single act of vengeance.  Now he must adapt or lose not only his mind and his friends, but his very soul as well.”  And so, uh, the reason for choosing this is that this is an alternate universe continuation of Autobot X, where Megatron makes a very cruel decision.  I think you can guess what happens, um…

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah, and so this is an incomplete multi-chapter piece of fanfiction that was last updated in 2008.  So, it's highly unlikely that it's going to be updated again but it's actually let me...

O: Sounds like a really interesting premise though, like, I'm gonna read it and I normally don't read it incomplete stuff, unless they're like, currently ongoing because I'm like, “Ahhh!  It's never going to be finished!”  But tha-that's a really interesting concept!

S: Yeah, and let me... it's 15 chapters.

O: Okay, so you know, still a pretty good read.

S: Yeah, sixty-six thousand words, or thereabouts.  Mm-hmm, and so, yeah, I'd recommend that so far.  And then my second recommendation is, “Hopeless,” by WaywardInsecticon.  I...it's actually been a while since I've read this and I'm pretty sure it's Marvel G1, but that's apparently what I put down in my notes.  I don't remember.  But it's definitely G1.

O: Yeah.

S: I think the reason I chose Marvel G1 was because Mindwipe’s in there.  But I've read it (actually several times), it's just been a while.  It's rated T for teen, it's Gen.  There aren't any pairings.  Uh, the characters here--it focuses on original characters but there's also Mindwipe and Flywheels, who are not particularly well-known Decepticons.  Though we do know Flywheels from…

O: The IDW comics.

S: Yes, his unfortunate big feet were the only things left off him.

O: [laughs]

S: In summary, “Dark Star is a Decepticon who used to be a 17 year old girl.  Now she's trapped on Cybertron with no friends, no idea how to function, and no help but Mindwipe who was the one who changed her in the first place.”  And yeah, the theme for this was humans getting turned into robots and--

O: Eyyy!

S: Pretty much, yeah.  And it's a one shot so, yeah.  I definitely recommend that and then the third one which I...which we won't actually be linking to--

O: We will not actually link to it.

S: For a variety of reasons.  Was the, “Starting Gate,” by Korat.  Which was a G1 cartoon, uhh, one.  It was rated T, Gen, no pairings.  The original--the main character was an original character and in summary, “Life has a funny way of throwing things at you sometimes, that you would never expect.  Either you learn to run with it or you don't.”  It was heavily G1 based, it was never completed and the author took it down, ah... When did I save this?  I think I saved it like, a little while before she took it to down--or they took it down.  I saved this in...2012.  June 29th, 2012.

O: Well then.

S: Ahhhh, the flagfic--the FLAG fanfiction downloader.

O: [laughs]

S: Yeah, so yeah, we're not gonna link to that, but it basically involved Starscream... Starscream basically it was--it sort of making friends with a human and then things go very, very bad.

O: Things go very wrong, very fast.

S: Yes, and let's move on to the art.

O: So, our recommendation for today is Coralus.  Ah, they primarily seem to do IDW, at least from a lot of the stuff I saw, but there might be some--a variety of things on there.  Their colors are GORGEOUS in everything.

S: They are!

O: Like, oh my god, seriously, some of my favorite colors out of all of the fan artists we've recommended.

S: Um-hm.

O: They have a number of Ratchet/Drift fan art, but there's also a lot of different art from-from various characters from the IDW comics.  We linked to a few pieces that I really enjoyed, uh, their Rung one in particular is one of my favorites.

S: I love it too.

O: It's really pretty!  Uh, so, I think we've mentioned this enough it should be apparent, but Rung is actually Primus in the IDW comics.  And so the piece of art with him is basically him, kind of drawn overlaid with more of what Primus probably looked like in the past.

S: Or, well the general Primus designs--

O: Yeah.

S: --that are considered canon.

O: Yeah, uh, but it's it's really pretty and also like, Rung’s expression is really lovely because it's just very kind.  Which is why I think-I think partially why I liked Rung so much of the comics is that like, Primus and a lot of them is like either you know the-the literal center of their planet--

S: Um-hmm.

O: --or kind of a warrior god.

S: Yeah.

O: And so to have it be this very kind, sweet character, is one of my favorite things.

S: Who's not a combatant, and he just wants to help people.

O: It's very sweet.  Uh, we also--we did link to some of their Drift/Ratchet art, which is very, very cute.  And then the last one we linked to was Sunstreaker, who is one of my favorite G1 characters who I haven't gotten to talk about enough. [laughs]  But, yeah, uh, we will be linking to their Tumblr… We are actually posting this on AO3 as well, or at least embedding it.  So any artists that make money through other avenues with their fan art we will not be posting links to.  I will also not be mentioning it in here, since we have to embed this on a site that forbids it.  However, if there are links, uh, you can find them on our Tumblr page, like our Tumblr Episode Notes, uh, at least as far as linking on an AO3 we will be linking to their Tumblr and their... I guess just their Tumblr because all those other ones make money.  They're all, like stores and stuff.

S: Um-hmm.

O: We will be linking to their Tumblr and you can also find links on our Tumblr, and you can, you know find the other places where they are online.

S: And that just about wraps up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher and Youtube, just to name a few.  Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

[sailor-cresselia]

The Great Ex-Aid Rewatch: Ex-Aid & Ghost, Part Two

Okay, back to it for part two of who-know-how-many of my Dr. Pac-Man liveblog!

Time for more gamers, doctors, ghosts, and terrible examples of science that people should in no way, shape, or form try to emulate!

––– –––

When last we saw our doctor heroes, they were escaping from Dr. Pac-Man with the victim-of-the-week, and the Ghost team was coming to their aid, leaving Shinnosuke back at the precinct.

We pick back up with Emu, Asuna, and Tougo running, but being blocked from one direction by Doral and Giril, and a still very glitchy Dr. Pac-Man on the other.

Turns out, the Pac-viruses aren’t technically bugsters at all – they’re just… er. Viruses, I guess, that Dr. Pac-Man used to set up a virus detection program. Specifically, to track the Bugster Virus, so that he could hunt down Tougo, who’s a carrier of a new strain.

Wait, so, the fevers that are hitting the people throughout the city aren’t the game disease, then? Or are there more forms to it than the bugster virus? …I may have to go into this in my fics at some point, but not now.

But anyway, it’s a new strain, one that comes from Hatesate Puzzle, so naturally the GenmCorp systems wouldn’t have any information on it – it’s not one of their products, so there’s no reason to expect it to spawn a bugster of it’s own.

Takeru, Akari, and Onari show up, with Takeru accusing Dr. Pac-Man of being Zaizen Michihiko. Fortunately for all of us, he is, and admits such as soon as Takeru brings it up. This means I no longer have to type ‘Dr. Pac-Man’ nearly as often, and we don’t have to deal with his squeaky voice changer anymore.

That thing was obnoxious.

Zaizen, who should have died six years ago, has managed – somehow – to revive as a Bugster. Which, as we know now, is foreshadowing for what happens down the line in-show. (Actually, this might be where Kuroto got that particular plan from in the first place.) He’s come back to finish his plans from back then.

He and his ‘team’ were working on a ‘genome project’, to create a new life form via operating on a patient infected with the game disease. A project to create a bugster.

But things went wrong.

Something happened, and we see the ‘patient’ – his face tactfully hidden by scenery the entire time – bucking on the table, the four ‘doctors’ drawing back in surprise. As a swarm of orange lights emerges from him and form into the shape of a person, lines of light form a game area around the room, while the four ‘doctors’ are dissolved into fragments of data.

And now? Now they’re back from being banished to the shadow realm game world, and ready to fulfill their ‘master plan.’

Emu – sweet, blissfully unaware, ten-episodes-in Emu – says that he may not know anything about this so-called master plan, but to use Pac-Man for this, to endanger all of these people… how can they call themselves doctors?! Doctors are supposed to help people!

Zaizen declares that anyone who stands against him must die, and Hatena – the latest Bugster – summons a massive number of enormous falling blocks. That would be bad enough, since said blocks are approximately person sized, and could easily crush someone.

Except that Hatesate Puzzle is a match three puzzle game. When three blocks of the same color line up? They explode.

Makoto and Alain show up from… somewhere, just in time to see Takeru make a dive to cover Akari with his body to protect her from another wave of blocks.

They are both caught up in the explosions. When the smoke clears, Takeru manages to wake Akari up, barely.

They both start to turn transparent, bursts of static crackling across them, at which point Akari passes back out.

Takeru, having had some very traumatic experiences with being transparent, makes the very natural assumption that they’ve both just died.

Fortunately, Emu is there, and able to yell that no, no, you’re not dead, that’s the bugster virus, please calm down!

Well, they’re not dead yet, according to Hatena, who says that unless someone manages to defeat him in the next 24 hours, they’re done for. This, naturally, pisses Makoto and Alain the hell off, and they go on the offensive.

I love civilian outfit fights, because you can get more of a sense of how the characters really move. I hold to the theory that putting on Rider armor, in any series, enhances the wearers usual abilities, so while you can see how they fight, you can get a far more accurate idea of it when they fight out of suit.

Against Giril, for all that the first part of the fight is more of a dance between her, Makoto, and Alain, you can tell that they’re skilled at this – that they’ve been through battles. They do eventually wind up getting hit – her fighting style is very different from the ones they’re used to facing, and Alain in particular takes some nasty palm strikes and kicks to the chest, but they’re still putting up a good show. (Especially for a pair who lost the majority of their effectiveness in battle once they joined up with Takeru, but that’s a complaint for a whole different season.)

On the other hand, Emu’s fight against Doral can barely be called a fight. He’s getting beaten, badly. Doral barely has to move to dodge Emu’s punches, and when they do connect, he doesn’t even flinch, moving with the punch to soften what little damage there would be.

Emu takes numerous blows to the torso, and I’m pretty sure at one point he just barely avoided a groin shot. He does manage a sweet flip and a roll, but it looks to have been accidental, given he then very quickly gets thrown several meters through the air.

Compare this to his first fight in-show, when he’d just gotten the belt, and had no idea what he was even getting into. In level one, he didn’t take a single hit from the Bugster Union, and when he fought Salty directly, he got hit maybe two or three times, but no more than that, and they didn’t effect him at all.

Early Emu has no idea what he’s doing in a fight, without actively being Ex-Aid.

Onari and Asuna carry Akari off to the hospital, escaping, while Makoto and Alain manage to literally hold Giril back, telling Takeru to ‘take care’ of Hatena.

Takeru’s punches do nothing, aside from make his knuckles hurt, and make Hatena chuckle. CHUCKLE. Not even LAUGH, just a quiet chuckle.

Emu gets grabbed, and Doral is trying to choke him out,  when freaking Tougo – who is, admittedly, in a bit of a bad way, seeing how he’s rather see-through at the moment – yells at Emu. He’s a doctor, right?! Then why isn’t he saving him?!

You know, never mind that you said it was pointless earlier, or that Emu’s getting his ass kicked and currently is having a bit of trouble breathing, just go ahead and guilt trip him. That’s totally a way to make people like you.

Oh, and then Zaizen tells this asshole that nobody can save him, and pulls Tougo into a bugvisor. Because that totally makes sense.

All four riders present – Emu, Takeru, Alain, and Makoto – get hurled down by their respective opponents, Emu internally apologizing to Tougo. Doral advances on Emu…

And is met with a spin-kick to the face.

Kiriya, Hiiro, and Taiga have arrived. Here’s their basic reactions to the scene:

Kiriya: More research data! Yes! (Also, time to save the Ace, because he’s the only person in this show who has even remotely tried to be a decent person, and was the only one who bothered trying to trust me.)

Taiga: Okay, shows over, freaks. (Why do people keep using Protogashats?! Are they all just stupid?!)

Hiiro: You look pathetic, intern. Also, here’s the new Legend Rider Gashat, the CEO wanted you to have it, for some reason.

Doral’s all ‘oh, so you want to fight, do you?’, and he and Giril pull out their gashats. Kiriya gives a sarcastic whistle, before Makoto and Alain shove their way in front, saying that this is their fight. I mean, it’s not, technically, but I get their reasoning. Also, Makoto literally shoved Hiiro to the side, and Hiiro takes a moment to come back to facing front, looking incredibly offended. Kiriya tries to point out to them that they’re already pretty beat up, and maybe they should take a back seat for a bit, but let if never be said that Makoto and Alain are anything but stubborn.

Giril takes off one way, Makoto and Hiiro in pursuit, while Doral goes the other, with Alain, Taiga, and Kiriya chasing after. Emu is still on the floor, slightly dazed, and presumably very confused.

–––

Hiiro and Makoto Vs Giril.

Makoto’s fighting style here is very… I dunno, like he’s a brawler? I guess? It’s not really refined, there’s a sort of brutality there. He uses the mooks momentum a lot, at one point pulling one of those ‘roll with the grab and use it to do a spin kick while on the mooks back’ tricks.

Hiiro, meanwhile, is quick and efficient, focusing on disabling mooks by going for the torso. Once again, he’s weaponizing CPR, just like when he originally used Doremifa Beat. At one point, he actually just flat out does a chop to the back of one mooks neck, which I find hilarious coming from Hiiro, of all people.

Eventually, Giril transforms, and Makoto hastily follows suit. Heh, suit. Because they’re transforming heroes. Hiiro, who saw full well that Specter isn’t exactly in prime condition, tries to tell him to wait, and heads into level two to join the fight.

–––

Taiga, Kiriya, and Alain vs Doral.

Taiga and Alain’s fight styles aren’t too different, outside of suit. They both favor quick blows that are still slightly showy. The main difference is that Alain’s more willing to rely on both his arms and legs for attacks, while Taiga’s more likely to dodge attacks. Kiriya… may as well be street dancing. Like, there’s a lot of streetdance type moves going on there.

…Dark Toei, give me the forbidden streetdancer Kiriya lore.

Eventually, Alain starts getting into a slightly more berserker style, Kiriya is getting somehow even flashier, and Taiga…

Taiga stole the sword off of one of the mooks.

…SWEET.

Doral transforms, and Alain angrily follows… and immediately starts doing worse. Seriously, the Necrom suit is a definite hindrance for Alain. He was great when he was in civilian attire – because he could move. Loose fitting clothes are far better suited for his personal style than the tight, controlled movements he has to use as Necrom. I mean, he really shouldn’t keep the scarf on in battle, but it doesn’t seem to slow him down, so I guess it’s okay.

Taiga looks a little disappointed that Alain just rushed in there like that, and once again it’s Kiriya who says that he’s getting ahead of himself.

The two of them transform, and Taiga visibly enters level two, doing a sweet flip over a fire projectile before getting into the battle. Kiriya says he’s leveling up, but we don’t actually see it, or him.

–––

Takeru vs Hatena.

This fight is not going nearly so well as the others. Takeru is getting shoved around like a ragdoll by Hatena and his staff, but still struggling back up, despite the copious pain he’s in, because he’s going to save Akari, dangit!

Emu’s still down on the floor, just barely getting around to picking himself back up in order to stop Takeru from advancing.

Zaizen says that all these struggles are useless. Without Ghost’s power, they can’t possibly beat Pac-Man, and he’s going to make them fear just how powerless they are!

He then proceeds to fire his bugvisor into the air, a massive swarm of Pac-viruses emerging from it… and then they all form into a GIANT PAC-MAN. The version with arms and legs, no less, before it pulls those into itself and becomes the more classic Orb Pac-Man.

Then it sort of… shudders, and glows a bit red, and oh look, everyone, Pac-Man’s got a mouth of fangs now!

Wisely, Takeru and Emu realize that being faced with a two-or-three story Pac-Man, who is clearly intent on eating them, is the point where they should be running away.

–––

Pac-Man chases them outside. They manage to avoid his barreling into them, but also he takes a bite out of a building, so there’s that. They’ve both fallen from their dodge.

Takeru pushes himself back to his feet, struggling to walk forward to fight.

Emu tries to hold him back, because it’s too dangerous, he’s too hurt, if he tries to fight like this, he could die-

Takeru shoves him off, saying it doesn’t matter if he can still transform or not. Yes, he doesn’t want to die, but if he can save Akari, then that is far more important. He’s going to do this. He has to do this!

Ghost’s powers are intimately linked to Takeru’s emotional state. They always have been, as far back as his first episode. His resolve summons the Ore Eyecon back to him from Dan Kuroto’s desk (because of course he didn’t give that to Hiiro to bring back), and the Ghost Driver reappears around Takeru’s waist.

(The, uh, the handle on that thing’s looking a little worse for wear. You guys couldn’t have, I dunno, wiped it down or something? Given it a little touch up?)

“HENSHIN!”

:cue fangirl grin:

Takeru gets to fly again! In base form, no less! …You know, outside of the first episode, and his guest previews in Drive, I don’t think Takeru actually got to use his levitation in his base mode more than maybe once or twice until after his season. I’m pretty sure he didn’t even get to do it in his own movies, outside of the finishing blow to the giant Ganma from the Ghost & Drive film. I don’t recall him levitating at all during Ichighost. If he used that power outside of the final battle in 100 Eyecons, I don’t remember it, and I know that time it was in Infinite.

Basically, I’m in the ‘Let Takeru Use His Powers’ camp. Also, I’m thinking that this might be where he basically… re-unlocked that for his base form? I dunno, just a thought that I might use in ReUnited, might not. Hard to say.

Anyway, Ghost! He’s flying around, kicking Angry Emoji Pac-Man while dodging storms of Pac-Viruses. Emu, in the meantime, is having a slight crisis of personal faith. He’s been getting his ass handed to him all day, even more so than usual, with people berating him left and right for not being good enough at his job – as a doctor or as a Kamen Rider.

Screaming to the sky, he somehow finds his resolve. Pulling out the Kaigan Ghost gashat, a breeze blows his hair back, and he transforms.

…Okay, yes, it’s a level ONE form right now, but he still gets to fight in-air with Takeru, both of them with that cool orange glow effect, so it’s worth it!

–––

At the Next Genome Hideout, Zaizen and Hatena arrive just in time for… Uh. What was his name again?  Ah, there we go. Kuruse Soji, also known as the Robol Bugster. For consistencies sake with the rest of his group, I will be referring to him as Robol from here on.

So, those two arrive just in time for Robol to finish the… I don’t even know what it is, some sort of genome re-mapping design.

Hatena is the one to ask Zaizen “Hey, are you sure about this whole ‘using yourself as a lab rat’ thing? You’re putting your life on the line, here.”

But nope, Zaizen’s determined to carry out his plan, and he’s fully intent on becoming a life form ‘to surpass creation.’

Hatena’s response is basically a silent “Well, okay then, it’s your funeral,” before raising his reality-warping staff up, and starting what is basically a reprogramming process on Zaizen.

Additionally, Zaizen seems to very quickly have at least a few regrets with regards to his haste, or at least didn’t think Hatena was going to just go ahead and start immediately. Having ones genetic structure re-written is not exactly painless.

The thing is… I don’t know what Zaizen doing this to himself would prove for any sort of proof of concept. We find out later on that his plan is to do this all over, and yeah, most people won’t survive, but the ones who do will be stronger for it. Which is all standard mad scientist stuff. However, he’s already a Bugster. He’s said as much, so his base makeup isn’t the same anymore. He has no way to prove this will actually work on a normal human! I mean, yeah, he’s trying it on Tougo simultaneously, albeit a little differently, but Tougo’s infected with the bugster virus already, so there’s good odds that the alterations are working with that more than anything else.

Basically, Zaizen, you’re a terrible excuse for a doctor and a scientist, and you should be ashamed of yourself for so many different reasons.

–––

Back at the Giril fight, Makoto uses all three of his regular Legend Eyecons to try and take her down, and even at one point using Houdini’s chains as whips! It gets to a point where we have Specter with Nobunaga preparing a finisher, and Giril sending energy slashes at him, only for Brave to use the ice mode of his sword to freeze the attacks in place so that Makoto can shoot through them.

Seriously, Hiiro, why can’t you use tactics this cleverly more often in show? It’d have gone a long way toward making me like at least watching you fight, even though it wouldn’t do anything for you as a character. The only times I can think of that were anything like this were the few occasions you used the sword to make an ice path to hold enemies still, your first time using Doremifa beat, and the way you got Taddle Fantasy by basically emulating some of Emu’s tactics, in using the energy items to your advantage.

But I digress. The two Riders switch into Deep Specter and Doremifa Beat to try and finish the fight.

–––

Brief cut to the Doral fight, where everyone is still in base forms, until Necrom gets knocked down and swaps into Grimm. I am reminded of why I would vastly prefer him to be using an eyecon at all times, because the helmet for Necrom is AWFUL without a cover.

Lazer and Snipe are still in level one and two respectively.

–––

Back to Giril.

Everyone launches finishers, starting with Specter, who doesn’t have much effect, but knocks her back a bit. Brave and Giril launch simultaneous ones, which create a huge chain reaction explosion that results in all three participants getting kicked out of their transformations.

Giril is still okay enough to run away.

Hiiro and Makoto are struggling on the ground. Makoto tries to get up to give chase, but collapses. Hiiro, in not much better state, tries to wake him.

–––

Back to Doral.

Necrom is using Sanzo for a bit, before getting dropped back down to normal. Okay, so, I may hate the transitional phase of Necrom, but it’s not fair to Alain for him to go the whole series without an upgrade. It’s even less fair for him to finally get one after the show… in the Specter V-Cinema. At which point he gets his ass kicked. By Specter. To make matters even more devastating? The single upgrade Alain gets is called Yujou Burst. FRIENDSHIP BURST. It’s ugly as all get out, and he only uses it in a single scene, in which, as mentioned earlier, he gets his ass kicked by Makoto. And you can’t even really see it in that scene, because it was so dark, which was not helped by Yujou Burst being black and gold.

ALAIN DESERVED BETTER, IS ALL I’M SAYING.

Okay, okay, lost potential complaints aside, the fight scene. Lazer and Snipe both enter level three, and I’m fairly certain Kiriya curses the day he blackmailed his way into getting a Driver, because he still has to go through the bike form anyway to get to higher levels.

Necrom and Lazer launch their finishers – Necrom with an energy punch projectile, and Lazer with that gloriously massive rain of arrows. This is followed by Snipe’s finisher, which involves a jetpack and LOTS OF BULLETS.

Man, if Jet Combat weren’t so hideous, I’d probably love it.

Doral gets knocked out of his transformation, and runs off. Necrom and Lazer drop theirs willingly, at which point Alain apologizes to Takeru, and drops to the ground, out cold.

Taiga lands. Specifically, TAIGA lands, dropping his transformation MID DESCENT and landing in a three point touchdown. He sneers, saying that Alain’s an idiot who over did it.

Well, at least the three of you came out of your transformations on your own, unlike the actual secondaries of the two seasons, who both got knocked down.

I mean, I really didn’t expect to find more evidence that Hiiro’s not nearly as good at this Rider thing as he thinks he is, but it sure looks like I did!

–––

Okay, over at the FIRST main fight, with Ex-Aid and Ghost versus a literally two story tall Pac-Man, two lads in black and orange land.

Ghost pulls out the Ex-Aid Eyecon, and we get an incredibly chaotic shot of Takeru entering Ex-Aid Damashi, and Ex-Aid leveling up his Ghost form.

Hnnnn I don’t like either of these legend rider forms. I think it’s in the eyes. Takeru winds up with Ex-Aid’s eyes on his faceplate, which makes sense, because that’s what his Legend Rider forms do. He gets their helmet’s appearance on his. It’s just weird with Ex-Aid’s eyes, is all. I’ll give credit to the jacket for being way better than his one for Drive, though.

The Ex-Aid Legend Rider forms, though… are so incredibly cursed. His chestplate takes on the appearance of whatever’s there on the OG rider, which. Okay, fair. I went to go look at his form for Drive, and the tire just Does Not Translate well to 2d. But the real problem is the helmet.

See, I’m okay with the helmets in Ex-Aid. I don’t care about the anime eye aesthetic, I’m all for it, because they manage to make something this ridiculous look good. Right up until that’s not what’s there anymore.

The helmet takes on an appearance similar to a slimmed down version of the legend rider, which I would be fine with… if it didn’t keep the frames from around Ex-Aid’s eyes. It’s unsettling, and invariably cuts across the eyes of the helmet it’s imitating, which just makes the whole thing uncomfortable.

And, of course, he still has the duplicate faceplate on his back, which makes it really weird when he’s facing away from the camera in the upcoming scenes, because we’re still getting Ghost looking at us. I don’t know why it doesn’t bug me nearly this much with Regular Ex-Aid, but this is really unsettling with a different rider’s helmet.

–––

Okay, okay, sorry, back to the show.

Emu’s gotten Ghost’s ability to levitate, and Takeru’s picked up Ex-Aid’s jumps. So they’re still able to bounce around Pac-Man, but they aren’t both flying anymore.

And then he eats them.

Like, I’m not even kidding, Pac-Man opens his mouth, they get pulled in, and WHOOPS suddenly they’re falling toward a suspiciously familiar maze!

Oh, man, I wish I were better at screencapping, but this goes by too fast for me to catch it. When they land? Takeru has a color-burst effect right out of one of Ex-Aid’s special effects. Nice touch!

Oh, and the walls of the maze, along with the dots, are an appropriate size for a two story tall Pac-Man. So, you know, the lads are a bit dwarfed by the scenery.

If you look carefully, you can see that when Pac-Man’s chasing them through the maze, the dots he passes by aren’t there anymore! He’s still actually playing by his own rules! … right up until they jump out of his way when they’re backed against a wall, and he just plows on through.

(Pac-Man, noooo! You can’t do that! That’s illegal!)

So they just start trying to slash at Pac-Man amid the rubble from the wall he just broke through – and then he starts shooting out beams of light every which way?

I don’t remember that being part of the game…

While they’re jumping and dodging, Emu’s still got Ghost’s glowing effects, and Takeru still has Ex-Aid’s impact stars, so that’s cool. They do that neat cross slash, where one rider goes horizontally around the Giant Kaijin and the other goes vertically… and it’s still not the finisher.

Emu, sweet, game-loving Emu, tells Pac-Man that it’ll just be a little longer. (Emu, he’s currently trying to KILL YOU. You don’t even know if the Regular Pac-Man is IN THERE, for all you know this is just an evil duplicate!)

So, actual finisher time.

Interestingly, the visual flairs when Emu puts the Kaigan Ghost gashat into his finisher slot and pushes the button are all orange. Nice touch. Even nicer is the touches on the emblem that appears behind Takeru when he does his finishers. Usually it’s a glowing orange, or rainbow, in the case of Infinite. But this time it’s pixellated and pink.

(please ignore the awful neon blue lines in the background, those are part of the maze.)

I’d say that “lasers don’t chase people like that” and “jumping doesn’t let you curve in mid-air”, but I don’t think the laws of physics actually apply to these two in most battle circumstances. Also, they’re about to kick Pac-Man in the face because that’s just what we’re doing today, I guess!

They land back out in the real world, where Pac-Man slowly changes back to normal.

(THE BACKS OF THESE SUITS ARE SO CURSED)

Pac-Man dissolves into the air.

Takeru, sweet precious cinnamon roll that he is, is still only thinking of saving Akari.

“I have… to save Akari…”

He falls to the ground, out cold.

–––

Asuna and Onari make it to the hospital, with him carrying the unconicious Akari, to see specks of yellow light streaming down to the infected patients.

Asuna thanks Pac-Man for curing those who were hit by his strain of the Game Disease.

–––

On a nearby rooftop, music from 2012 plays as a man with rings steps into view.

––– –––

Well, that seems like as good a place as any to cut off, narratively speaking! I’m about halfway through the movie at this point, so this should only take one or two more installments to finish.

I have work the next three nights, so I’m not going to be able to pick this back up until Saturday, at the earliest. It sucks, because I really, really wanted to watch this movie again, preferably a lot faster than this whole “three to four hours to get twenty five minutes” deal, but I guess that’s just how I’m watching Ex-Aid, now!

(Disclaimer before anyone gets on my case: Yes, I switched order of those last two segments. Partly it’s to have a better liveblog ending, and partly because that’s the order they should have been in, dang it! It flows way better to have the Pac-Man Fever subplot end before Haruto first shows up, instead of awkwardly inserting him between the last two related scenes.)

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye 2012 Annual - None of These Guys Know How to Be Nice to Others or Themselves

Hey, so you remember how every kids’ show until basically 2006 had a Fantastic Voyage episode, where they explored the inside of one of their friends’ bodies? We’re opening up with that.

Rodimus and a few pals are busy trying to clear out a nanocon infestation from none other than Ultra Magnus himself, and are doing it in the most convoluted way possible because Brainstorm wanted to try some new invention out, and I guess Ratchet just can’t say no to that faceplate. Whirl’s in there, which seems like maybe not the best idea. Wonder how Magnus feels about all this.

Oh my god he’s been asleep this entire time.

There’s this thing that doctors are supposed to do before performing any medical procedure on a lucid patient, and it’s called informed consent. It would appear that it didn’t happen here. Ratchet, your medical license, please and thank you.

Things start getting hairy for the Fantastic Voyagers during their throw-down inside Magnus’ mouth, and Ratchet’s forced to do something drastic: he has to ask Ultra Magnus, king-sized stick-in-the-mud, to smile.

Woof, that’s rough. Don’t worry, buddy, you’ll get the hang of it eventually.

The sudden engagement of the smiling pistons is so violent that they explode, thus destroying the nanocons entirely and utterly. Great!

Word gets out that Ultra Magnus smiled. Not so great.

Atomizer’s all about them crossbows, so I’m going to make a call and say his design aesthetic is probably rustic chic. Of course, rustic chic for a bunch of space robots probably looks a hell of a lot like brutalism. What I’m saying is, I don’t think Atomizer’s work before the war was too hot.

Everyone Magnus runs into and tries to inflict his job upon makes fun of him. Magnus is a sensitive soul, so he takes it to heart. Poor baby.

A bit later on, in the double page spread with layering issues, Chromedome wakes up from a nightmare.

Rewind has to think about this and double check his database to make sure that Chromedome hasn’t in fact tried to commit suicide by way of ingesting space napalm, and I think that says a lot about Chromedome from a mental health standpoint that even his husband isn’t 100% sure what all he’s tried.

Chromedome hasn’t tried this particular avenue of suicide, which means that his flashback nightmare is the result of one of the many mnemosurgery autopsies he’s performed over the years. Turns out digging around in someone’s memories has a few side-effects.

Meanwhile, Tailgate’s inviting Cyclonus to his Autobot graduation ceremony, because while Cyclonus pulled a real bastard move last time we saw him, Tailgate still seems to think he’s worth having around. Tailgate really wants to be liked by people. Cyclonus doesn’t even respond, and Tailgate decides to leave him alone to stare out at the free-to-use image of space that’s currently in their window.

Then there’s Swerve, who’s down in the engine rooms looking for his roommate, Red Alert. Yep, that’s right; Red Alert somehow ended up sharing a room not just in general, but with Swerve, who we established in issue #1 as being maybe not his favorite individual.

Swerve stops by the corpse of Ore, who I guess they haven’t scraped out of the side of the quantum drive yet for whatever reason, and he take a moment to pay his respects.

OH MY GOD.

Everyone looks like they’ve got retainers in for this issue too! What an oddly specific design choice to see repeated by multiple artists. And on that note…

The 2012 Annual was drawn by two people, Jimbo Salgado and Emil Cabaltierra, both of whom seem to only have this singular contribution to the Transformers franchise. Salgado appears to have been employed by DC Comics, and Cabaltierra’s most recent work seems to be on  the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics. There isn’t a ton of information on either of them, so I suppose we’ll have to take the art here at face value.

Over in Rodimus’ inexplicably not-pink room, he and Drift are discussing talking points for Tailgate’s graduation ceremony. Well, Drift’s talking while Rodimus half-listens. We get a taste of Rodimus’ motto for the series.

Drift thinks that less might be more in this case, but the saying, much like a majority of Rodimus’ personality, is based in feelings of inadequacy. Optimus says it- though not nearly as often- and if it’s good enough for Optimus Prime, surely it’s something to emulate. Rodimus, feeling a bit snippy over being called out on his hero-worship, accuses Drift of not actually caring about the ceremony and just wanting to get to the part where they hit up Crystal City to join up on the Knight Quest. Drift, admittedly, is excited to see the Circle of Light again, which is surprising considering what happened the last time he was in Crystal City.

I dunno, I just feel like things would be awkward.

Magnus walks in, demanding the whole crew be thrown out because they’ve been making fun of him. Rodimus tries to help Magnus see the lighter side of things, saying that a little harmless ribbing means that the crew is starting to warm up to him, but Magnus doesn’t see it that way.

There’s also the issue of the Lost Light still not having made contact with the Circle of Light. Magnus is concerned about the sect of religious zealot-pacifists having been attacked, but Drift fills Magnus- and the reader- in on the bad-assery he witnessed back in the Drift miniseries.

It’s later now, and Tailgate’s ceremony is about to start. In the audience, Jackpot takes bets on how long it’ll take for Rodimus to say the Thing, and Whirl confides in First Aid about the graffiti he left inside Ultra Magnus. Wonder what sort of violation that is. Defacement of personal property? Medical malpractice? Assault?

Rodimus kicks things off, Whirl wins a bet, and we get word that all the dead bodies they just keep stacked up in the medibay started moving and clutching at their heads as if in pain. Apparently First Aid doesn’t know proper ceremony etiquette, because he’s fully leaned over the seat in front of him, in a crowd that honestly isn’t nearly big enough to hide what he’s doing, to whisper to Skids about the whole thing.

Well well well, if it isn’t Mr. Grumpypants himself watching from the wings. Glad you could not-join the party, you night-creature. If you’re attempting to be a nice person, Cyclonus, the person you’re attempting to be nice to needs to be aware of it.

Rodimus makes his speech, reflects on his own right of Autobrand, and Tailgate gets his very own temporary Autobot badge.

Or not.

Rodimus, who didn’t mean to fuck up Tailgate’s paint, doesn’t even know what he just did. Rewind steps in to translate the gobbledygook, while Tailgate has a minor crisis over his ruined beauty, saying that it’s Old Cybertronian for “let me out.” Drift and Ratchet run out of the white void behind the stage, both touting their own theories on what just happened, and both at odds with one another. Skids interrupts the debate of science vs religion before it can start, stating that Swerve’s on the horn about that Duobot not being dead.

Ore being alive poses a problem, because he’s still stuffed into the quantum drive, and if he freaks out he could set the thing off and having them bouncing all over space. They just got to Theophany, home of the Circle of Light, so bouncing around would be really inconvenient.

But wait, there’s more! The Galactic Council has come calling, wanting to know just what the hell everyone’s favorite war-mongering race is doing on their turf. Rodimus is a rude little shit, because bonding with the Matrix doesn’t really do much for your skills in traversing delicate political situations. Luckily, Magnus steps in before Rodimus can cause a galactic incident.

Magnus, because he’s the Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord- Tyrest being seen as a neutral party by both the Cybetronians and the Galactic Council- is received much more warmly by such a bureaucratic organization. They have what might be considered playful banter to them, and an agreement is reached.

Ooh, that’s a spicy take there, Rodimus!

We get a brief explanation of what exactly the Galactic Council is- a coalition of sentient races who organize treaties between species and police the galaxy in an attempt to keep the peace. Obviously, they don’t much care for the Transformers.

Before we can get terribly deep into the history of galactic politics, there’s a bright flash of light that consumes Rodimus-

-and we cut over to Swerve and his zombie pal.

Hey, who wants to see some high-level self-sabotage of one’s sense of worth? Because if you do, you’re in luck, because Swerve’s apparently got it down to a fine art. After failing to identify himself, Ore- who cannot see or feel anything at present- thinks that he’s speaking with Pipes, and Swerve proceeds to offer up that thing that happened in issue #6 on a silver platter to the guy who apparently doesn’t like him a whole lot already.

Swerve, please, practice a little self-love, my dude. Don’t subject yourself to this.

Down on Theophany, the boys are driving towards Crystal City, and are none-too-impressed by what they find.

Rewind, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? You can’t do that, it’s been established.

It’s looking like Crystal City’s been proper fucked, and Drift’s none too happy about it.

Back over at the pity-party, Swerve’s ruminating on the difference between peace and happiness, and how he doesn’t think he’s cut out for either of them. Ore adds that they’ve only just ended the war, and it may take some time to settle into the new normal. Swerve worries that he’s wasting his bold new tomorrow by playing pranks on Red Alert when he could be using his medical degree for something useful and important. Poor Swerve, caught in the trap of “you’re only worth something if you’re productive”. We’ve all been there, man.

Because it’s trauma, and you don’t owe anyone to be perfectly healthy and fine when you’re traumatized by warcrimes and atrocities! Every single member of the Cybertronian population is chock-full of trauma, and they need, just, so many more mental health services in order for it all to be processes and dealt with.

Also, Ore is very scary and bad to look at, so I’ve cut him out of the capture for this little bit of dialogue.

Back in Crystal City, the boys have made the rounds, and determined that a fight did indeed happen, but there aren’t any bodies to speak of. Odd, that. Drift is a little on edge, as he snaps at Rewind that he’ll cut his camera off of his head if he doesn’t shut up, then decks Whirl for playing the name game.

Then Drift gets mad at god, and things go about as well as you’d expect.

Later, bitches!

Over on the Benign Intervention, the Galactic Council ship, we see where Ultra Magnus’ gotten to, as he has a meeting with a representative. The Council is offering Magnus a seat at the table, because he’s about the only member of his race the Council respects.

Back with Drift, the lads have picked themselves up from the fall and have found themselves a nice little surprise.

Ratchet and Skids up there just straight-up disrespecting gravity. Can you tell I’m not a huge fan of the art here? Because I’m not.

The fellas climb up on this giant’s face, Swerve shows up for a panel, and Rodimus has everyone jump down the Metrotitan’s throat to go find the thing’s brain.

Lot of vore-adjacent action this issue. Gotta love an Annual.

Once inside, they find a very big brain, and Cyclonus reflects on his faith. See, back when Metrotitans weren’t so rare and Cyclonus hadn’t spent 6 million years in the Dead Universe, he would worship in their shadow. Rewind, because he’s a history nerd, asks for a taste of that action, and Cyclonus indulges him, probably because he’s once again realized that he misses connecting with other people, and still doesn’t know how to handle the Tailgate thing.

This is where the Guido Guidi art kicks in, and it’s so friggin’ pretty. So pretty, in fact, you might almost miss Roberts slipping this into the lore dump.

An urgency, you say, which- stop me if I’m wrong- resulted in the creation of life.

Honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.

Anyway, this is where the Guiding Hand came to be- the five gods of Cybertron.

Now, back in The Death of Optimus Prime, it was established that the Guiding Hand were ancient, lost knowledge, only known to the Matrix and its bearer. Cyclonus is really fucking old, but I’m thinking that this discrepancy is simply a case of early-installment weirdness that’s now being rectified, so it isn’t too odd when members of the crew are revealed to have faith.

So the gods hung out, made a bunch of babies asexually, gave them the gifts of thought and feeling and being able to turn into tanks and shit, and it was pretty sweet for a while.

The Mortilus got a bug up his butt about killing things, and the Transformers found their true purpose in the universe- war. Mortilus was eventually defeated, but only after every other member of the Guiding Hand had been reduced to abstract sculpture art; Primus became Vector Sigma, Solomus became the Matrix- which, considering what happened to that thing prior to MTMTE, uh, yikes- and Epistemus and Adaptus became the basis on which the modern t-cog and brain module were built.

Because the god of death is no more, the Transformers were made immortal, which explains why it takes so much to fucking kill them. A bunch of the first generation of Transformers decided to fuck off into space to spread the good word about their pretty-much-dead gods, coming to be known at the Knights of Cybertron. The end!

Ratchet doesn’t appreciate the tale that Cyclonus just told, because Real Atheist Hours are 24/7 for him, and that fight that Skids managed to put a stop to starts up again.

Then Drift brandishes a sword a Ratchet, because this is how we deal with our problems when we’re Drift, and hiding behind a façade of being a happy-go-lucky flowerchild fails. Rodimus breaks the two of them up before someone gets stabbed, and drags Drift away as Chromedome sets up to do his thing on a brain the size of a school bus.

Skids comes up and starts chatting him up, and Chromedome reveals a little bit about himself as a person.

Chromedome, I’m happy that you found someone you love who loves you just as much, but I’ll go ahead and say it- I don’t think telling the dude with short-to-midterm memory loss to look for a relationship is the hottest idea you’ve ever had.

In a place that isn’t the inside of the Metrotitan’s skull, Drift asks Rodimus about his faith. Rodimus is a believer, then proceeds to put the guy on a pedestal as he make the claim that “everything will depend on him.”

Then Chromedome stabs his needly little fingers into a giant brain- much to Rewind’s chagrin- and all hell breaks loose.

Oh man, y’all are going to double space-prison for that one.

Magnus’ meeting gets interrupted, of course, and the Council’s automatic response is to assume they’re being attacked, and they break out the big guns to take down to the planet’s surface. Magnus, seeing the writing on the wall, teleports back over to the Lost Light awith the intent to call Rodimus to try and see just what’s happening now, when the entirety of the ship is encased in a forcefield, and not one courtesy of Trailcutter.

Back planetside, Chromedome’s flat on his back as he explains that the Metrotitan is screaming its friggin’ head off in a frequency they can’t hear, mad as hell that it can’t answer the call of Vector Sigma to come home. This frequency can also apparently raise the dead, and do a bunch of other really weird shit. Chromdome wants to dive back in.

Chromedome, are you sure that statement about being suicidal should have been past-tense?

The whole planet is a-rockin’ and a-shakin’, as the Council troops make their way towards our dear friends. Rodimus, thinking quickly, orders Whirl to take a few friends and keep the Council busy while Chromedome wraps up. Rodimus wants all that good, good Cybertronian history, and figures that they need to rip it all out of the Metrotitan’s brain while he’s still kicking. Brainstorm offers to shrink the guy, seeing as he brought along his mass-displacement gun, but Rodimus seems intent on using the method that could kill Chromedome and might not even get them what they need before the Metrotitan dies.

Before a decision can be reached, Ultra Magnus gets through to Rodimus. Turns out that forcefield the Lost Light’s in is an incineration shell, and things are about to get spicy for everyone on board. Said shell is also draining the power cells, so they can’t quantum jump to safety. Rodimus has an idea though.

Over with Swerve and Ore, the conversation turns to religion. Swerve is a man of faith, whereas Ore has a much more straightforward view of life- you live, and it’s odd and wonderful and terrible, and when you die that’s it. Ore does not believe in the afterlife, and believes that what you get is what you get.

This is about the time that Rodimus calls Swerve to have him set off the quantum drive by killing Ore via shock, by telling him the truth about his predicament.

Swerve just shoved those orders so far up Rodimus’ ass, he’ll probably blow them out of his nose in a minute.

So, the Lost Light’s done for, thanks to the power of standing up for yourself. I guess Scott Pilgrim got that one wrong. Chromedome asks Rodimus what he wants to do with the Metrotitan, and Rodimus says to let him free.

And then everyone died. That’s a series wrap, folks!

What do you mean we’ve got 49 more issues? Okay, let’s see where this goes.

So Brainstorm blasts the brain, everyone is enveloped in a bright light, and we smash-cut to Swerve talking at Rung’s headless body in the medibay, as he recounts the outright religious experience he had.

Ore’s gone, and Swerve believes that Primus came and took him to the Afterspark, the Cybertronian afterlife, and so it was that Swerve’s faith was strengthened.

Over in Rodimus’ office, we tear down that miracle with some equally unrealistic sci-fi bullshit. Brainstorm’s mass-displacement shrunk the Metrotitan down enough to allow himself to teleport, and some theorized psychic link with Ore allowed the Lost Light to piggyback to safety.

Still no clues as to what happened to the Circle of Light, though, which is troublesome. Probably kidnapped, or some such. Going off of that hunch, the Lost Light will be following some reports on Decepticon activity- because we haven’t gotten to the point of nuance with our former enemies just yet.

Rodimus has decided that winging things isn’t really working out like he’d like it to, so he’s going to try to be a better captain. Which, y’know, thank god. Let’s make an effort to keep everyone kicking.

We get a brief flashback to just what happened during Magnus’ meeting with the Galactic Council, and as it turns out, he turned down their offer, saying that he was needed on the Lost Light.

The Council is disappointed by his decision.

Oh well dang, I wonder who that mysterious figure could possibly be. Surely he will in no way factor into the entirety of every single problem ever faced or made by the planet of Cybertron and the galaxy it resides in. Oh, surely not.

While I got you here, let’s take a gander at the section blurbs.

We’re getting yet more mindsets about god and faith, from folks not in the narrative but adjacent to it. Alpha Trion is a well-respected, learned robot who has no doubt spent a vast majority of his time taking in literature and theory on the subject of religion. In contrast, we have Beachcomber, who in this particular continuity doesn’t have a ton of characterization, but does seem to be pulling from his hippy-dippy persona from the ‘80s cartoon at least a little for his excerpt here. New-age, we’ll call him.

And then there’s Megatron, who’s just straight-up torn the cover off of Karl Marx’s A Contribution to the Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right and is trying to pass it off as his own, but let’s look more at the actual meaning of such a quote.

Now the problem with that is, much like in real life, we aren’t seeing the entirety of the quote, instead having only kept the last little bit to play with. 

"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people".

Now, for Megatron here, we should assume that the front-end of this quote from Marx isn’t applicable, seeing as we seem to be operating as if it doesn’t exist. 

So, “Religion is the opium/engex of the people.” It’s a comfort, a drug, something to keep one docile. We’ll see the logical conclusion to such a mindset much later on in the series. As is, it gives us another glimpse at the creature that is pre-war Megatron. 

And now you know why the Annual subtitle was Primus: You, Me, and Other Revelations.