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BTS, 2.03 — ALYS RIVERS.
“There are lots of different versions of who Alys Rivers is. She has most likely been there for a very long time. How long? We don't know. Some people say she's a greens here. Some people say she's a witch. But she is not someone who causes anything to happen in as much as she guides people towards what the world wants to happen for them.”
#‘she is not someone who causes anything to happen in as much as she guides people towards what the world wants to happen for them’ !!#alys rivers#hotd alys#harrenhal#gayle rankin#hotd 2×03#hotd bts#behind the scenes#hotdatgifs#hotd gifs#gifs#house of the dragon#hotd#tv shows#hotd s2#hotd cast
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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 — ( h. jisung. )
pairing: Han Jisung x fem!reader [multiple characters mentioned]
genre: fluff, idol-fan to lovers
words: 11.1k
summary: At fifteen, Jisung’s music becomes your comfort. You send him letters, never knowing he treasures them. When the letters stop, your connection is lost. Years later, you are 22, at a Stray Kids concert, you hold a sign with a familiar phrase. As Jisung steps on stage, your eyes meet—fate reconnecting you.
desc: I care about this ff in really deep and distinct way from the others, some things really happened. I hope y'all will like it. the first letter event - and what jisung said - actually happened. <3
ᯓᡣ𐭩 ( masterlist ) . Spotify playlist. @cherryheaart @hijadeplutao @diekleinesuesse
The first time you listened to a Stray Kids song, you were in your room, knees pulled up, back pressed against the headboard. Your phone’s glow cast soft shadows across the walls, blending with the warm, amber light of the salt lamp on your nightstand. Outside, the world was asleep. Inside, your thoughts were restless.
The music from your headphones filled the room, drowning out the hum of loneliness that had settled in your chest like an old, unwelcome friend. It wasn’t just sound—it was something else. Something alive, something electric, something that made the walls feel a little less suffocating. It was loud enough to make your pulse quicken, yet comforting enough to make your shoulders relax. Exactly what you needed.
Your phone buzzed. Messages. Conversations waiting for a reply.
You had been diving headfirst into the world of K-pop, losing yourself in vibrant performances and voices that felt like a safe place. BTS, GOT7… Their music had been your first taste of something different, something exciting. And they were beautiful, too—effortlessly captivating in a way that made you wonder if people like that even existed in real life.
But you still felt like something was missing.
Like your entire life.
You were missing something. You weren’t sure if it was something or someone, but you were always searching for it as if your life depended on it.
But still, something felt… off. Like an itch you couldn’t quite reach, a gap you couldn’t name.
You had always carried this feeling—a quiet, persistent yearning, as if you were chasing something just out of reach. You didn’t know if it was a person, a place, a dream, or just the idea of belonging. But the search never stopped. It was stitched into your skin, woven into the way you looked at the world, always waiting for that moment when everything would finally click into place.
It was as if Stray Kids were the flicker of light in the darkness you had been wandering through. Their music wasn’t just something to listen to—it was something to hold onto. Each beat, each lyric, felt like it was speaking directly to you, as if they understood that deep part of you that was searching, the part that couldn’t quite put into words what was missing.
Their voices, raw and full of emotion, seemed to pull you out of the silence that often echoed in your mind. The chaos of the world around you was still there, but it didn’t matter anymore. In those moments, when the rhythm of their songs wrapped around you, it felt like you weren’t alone. Like someone, somewhere, was lighting a path for you to follow.
There was a comfort in knowing that Stray Kids, despite being miles away, were somehow close enough to touch. They didn’t promise to solve everything, but their music became a refuge, a constant in a world that often felt too big, too overwhelming. You could feel it—their energy, their passion, and that undeniable sense of unity. It was as if their light was meant for you, guiding you through the quiet darkness you didn’t even know you had been hiding in.
You stare at the blank sheet of paper in front of you, the pen clutched tightly in your hand. It’s a little crinkled from the several times you’ve picked it up and put it back down again. The clock on your wall ticks loudly, as if mocking you for still not writing a single word. You take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and then glance at the paper again. Blank. Still blank.
"Dear Han Jisung." Nope. Too formal. You scratch it out quickly, the line looking way too stiff and impersonal.
"Hey Jisung!" Ugh, that’s even worse. Is that too casual? Is it weird? Maybe it’s weird. What if he thinks it’s weird? He probably gets a million “Hey Jisung!” ‘s every day. Okay, scrap that. You grab the pen again, staring down at the page like it’s some sort of exam you forgot to study for.
"Hi Han Jisung!" Nope, not that either. Now it looks like you're writing an email to your grandpa. You just want to say something to him. Why is this so hard? Why is writing a letter so difficult? You’re overthinking it. This is just a letter. Just… write. You tap the pen on the table, trying to find the right balance between casual and too casual.
"Hello stranger!" Yeah. Simple. It’s a start, right? Sure. You nod to yourself, like that was the breakthrough of the century. Now you just have to… actually write something. You wince and let out a tiny sigh. You take a deep breath, then, with some hesitation, scribble the first sentence.
Hello stranger! I have no idea what I’m doing right now. Seriously, I’m probably overthinking this way too much, but here I am—writing to you. Why? Well, because your music has literally been the soundtrack to my life for the past few years, and I thought maybe—just maybe—you’d want to know? I don’t know. I could be totally wrong, but here we are. You might not even read this. This could end up in some random staff member's hands or the “fan mail pile” for all I know, but hey, I’m doing this anyway because I really need to get it out there.
You pause and re-read the last line. Oh my god. Why did you write that? That’s so awkward. You’re cringing already. Why can’t this be easier? You take another deep breath and keep going.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, your music means so much to me. I’ve been listening to it for years, and it’s honestly helped me through some really tough days. It’s not just the beats or the lyrics, but there’s something about it that makes everything feel… less heavy. So, thanks for that. Really. You probably don’t know this, but your songs have been like my personal comfort food. Which sounds weird, but I think you get what I mean.
You stop again. Comfort food? Did you just compare his music to food? Why do you always sound like a weirdo? You shake your head and cross out "comfort food," then quickly scribble:
Okay, scratch that. What I meant to say is, your music is like a little piece of happiness in my life. Better? Probably not, but it’s all I’ve got right now. Anyway, you probably don’t need to know all that, but here we are.
You stare at the page again. Why is this so hard?
P.S. If you do happen to read this, I just want you to know that you’re amazing, and please keep being you. I’m rooting for you all the way, Jisung.
You set the pen down and lean back in your chair. Your heart is racing like you’ve just run a marathon, and now that it’s finally done, you're not sure whether to be relieved or hide under your bed.
You take one final look at the letter and squint. But then, in the silence, you decide to just do it. You fold the letter, seal it in an envelope, and—without thinking too much about it—write “Han Jisung” on the front. And with that, you shove the feeling of nervousness down and send it off into the universe. Maybe he’ll read it. Maybe he won’t. But you don't actually care, you liked the shaky feelings of writing for him, for only him.
A month or so later, you’re sitting in your room, staring at your phone screen. You’ve checked the notification tab for the hundredth time, just in case, but there’s still no sign of anything that might be important. You’re about to give up and go back to scrolling aimlessly when you see it.
A new Stray Kids video.
It’s one of their weekly promotion updates, just a casual vlog-like video. You freeze. It’s not like you didn’t know the video would drop eventually, but suddenly you feel... jittery. You pull your knees up to your chest, nervously adjusting your glasses, and hit play. It starts with Jisung grinning at the camera, a little wave. Typical. But as you watch, something makes your heart stop.
You blink.
Jisung’s holding letters in his hands.
Your stomach drops, and you lean forward, gripping the edge of your desk. Is that... your envelope? It looks like it, but this can’t be real, can it? You never imagined he'd actually hold your letter, much less... read it. He looks up at the camera, holding it for all to see, and smiles. "Ah, It’s in English, but it’s okay because we can communicate with our heart."
Your heart stops.
He... he read it. He actually read your letter, and what’s even crazier is that he’s holding it up, like nothing. Like it is nothing. But for you? Oh for you it’s the entire world. The camera catches a glimpse of his expression, a small smile creeping on his face. You can’t help but notice how soft his eyes look as he reads, his voice filled with warmth as he says the words.
The video continues, but you can barely focus on what he is doing or saying next. You’re too busy re-reading that line in your head.
He actually read it.
Your heart flutters, and you feel this mix of emotions you can’t even begin to describe. Excitement. Nerves. Awe. And somewhere deep down, a strange sense of warmth. He’s not just an idol on a screen anymore. He’s someone who’s heard your words, someone who knows... you exist. In a small part, of course.
You laugh to yourself in disbelief, eyes wide. “He… he actually said that.” Your hands are trembling as you watch the video again, replaying that part over and over.
Suddenly, the awkwardness of it all hits you again—he’s never going to see you the same way again, right? This is totally insane. What do you even do now? Do you keep writing to him?
From that moment, you kept writing him, only once a month, just to... support him from afar at your way. He was your little secret, your hour to write something that only one person, that could understand you in a unique way.
11.07 maybe we're not all meant to be loved for every time I say to myself "I'm okay" I find a hundred more reasons not to like me to tell myself again that I'm not okay I have severe self-esteem issues and I think you have noticed this for a long time Maybe I'm not made for love feel it yes, you find it in every action, a pinch of love is in everyone maybe it's just me who finds it distant Or is it distant But I feel a gash in my chest Because I can't be loved like everyone else because everyone finds the one who can love him, even just a little bit is it me? is it me who is not good enough for everyone? is it me who just don't go? who knows where the future will take us I know I wish it was with you but oh Jisung, you had me at hello. I love you, yours y/n
After that small phase, that changed your whole world, he didn’t say or do anything anymore. Then after 5 years, you stopped; between high school and the search for a work, your little reality stayed like that. But your passion for the Stray Kids music, never stopped.
It’s a typical afternoon, and you’re scrolling through your phone, trying to pass the time. Your mind is in autopilot mode as you check social media, not really expecting anything exciting. But then, something catches your eye. You blink, and your heart skips a beat.
A post from Stray Kids’ official account.
“Stray Kids DominATE World Tour: coming to your country!”
Your breath hitches. You blink again, as if the words on the screen will change if you look at them long enough. But no, it’s still there. Stray Kids, your favorite group, is coming to your country.
You feel your heart thudding in your chest. It’s been years since you last sent a letter to Jisung. Years since you even thought about the idea of seeing him in person. After everything—the letters, the time passing, and the uncertainty—you never thought you’d have the chance to see them live, let alone in your own country.
You would have flight to the other side of your country to see them.
You stare at the screen for a moment, hands trembling as you scroll through the details. The venue, the date, the tickets—it all feels like a dream. You think about how much you’ve changed over the years, how different you are from the shy girl who used to write to Jisung from her small room, unsure of what the future held.
But this… this is real.
You can already picture it in your mind: the stage, the lights, the energy of the crowd. And then, suddenly, you imagine standing there in the front row, surrounded by your friends, the atmosphere buzzing with excitement.
Your stomach flips with anticipation, but there’s a flutter of nervousness too. You haven't seen Jisung in person yet, and even if you’ve followed him for years, this is different. It's real. You can’t help but wonder if he’ll recognize you, if he’ll remember the letters from so long ago.
You lean back in your chair, the excitement taking over. Your best friend’s message from earlier pops into your head: “Are you really going to let this chance slip by?”
You pull your phone up again, heart pounding as you consider what to do next. The thought of being that close to him, seeing him perform live… the nerves and excitement mix into something a little more overwhelming than you’re used to. But this is your chance.
This is your chance to finally see him.
You take a deep breath and, without overthinking it too much, text your best friend: “I’m going to the concert. I have to. I can’t miss this.”
Their reply comes almost instantly. “I KNEW you would. You’re going to make it happen!”
You stare at the screen for a moment, your hands shaking a little. You don’t know what the future holds or what might happen at the concert, but one thing’s for sure: you’re not letting this moment slip away.
You sit there for a second, staring at the ticket page like it’s a dream. You feel like you’re about to faint, but you don’t care. After what feels like an eternity of checking your bank account, double-checking your credit card, and almost losing hope when the page freezes for a second—there it is. The confirmation email.
Your hands shake as you open the email, your eyes scanning over the details.
“Your tickets are confirmed.”
Your chest tightens. It feels like everything is crashing in all at once. You did it. You actually did it. You’re going to the concert. You’re going to see Stray Kids in person.
You sit there, staring at the screen, feeling a wave of pure euphoria wash over you. It’s like the weight of everything you’ve been holding onto for years suddenly melts away. The letters, the waiting, the uncertainty—it doesn’t matter anymore. You did it.
You spring out of your seat, almost tripping over your own feet in your excitement, and run to your best friend’s room.
“I got them! I got the tickets!” you scream, practically bouncing with joy.
Your best friend, who’s sitting casually on their bed, looks up at you like you’ve just won the lottery. You’re already tearing up, and your best friend’s eyes widen with surprise.
“Oh my god, y/n,” they say, standing up quickly. “Are you crying?”
You nod, wiping your eyes quickly but not really caring that you’re already a mess. “I can’t believe it,” you choke out, barely able to keep it together. “I’m actually going to see them. To see Jisung. In person. Like—I’m really doing it!”
Your best friend wraps their arms around you in a tight hug, clearly more than ready to celebrate with you. They hold you close as you try not to sob into their shoulder, laughing between hiccups of breath. It’s the most emotional you’ve felt in a long time.
“I’m so happy for you,” your best friend says, gently pulling back to look at you. “You deserve this. You’ve wanted it for so long.”
You laugh again, your tears turning into happy, shaky giggles. “I can’t believe it’s real,” you whisper, holding your phone to your chest like it’s a precious treasure. “I really thought I was just dreaming about this.”
You sit down on the floor with your best friend, still in disbelief. You clutch the phone and tickets like they’re your lifeline, feeling overwhelmed by the sheer joy of it all. Your emotions are a whirlpool—excitement, happiness, a touch of fear, and this deep sense of relief.
"I’ve never been this happy," you admit, a few more tears slipping down your face. "It feels like everything is falling into place."
Your best friend smiles softly, their eyes a little misty too, because they know how much this means to you. “I’m so proud of you. I can’t wait to see you finally living this dream.”
You snuggle up to them, feeling a comforting weight in your chest, and for the first time in a long time, you let yourself be completely overwhelmed by the moment. You let yourself feel every ounce of happiness, even if it means crying like a total mess.
But you don't care. Not anymore.
This is real. And nothing is going to stop you from seeing Jisung and Stray Kids. Not now, not ever.
You’re still holding onto your phone like it’s the most precious thing in the world when your best friend suddenly squints at the confirmation email on your screen.
“Wait… y/n.”
You sniffle, wiping at your face as you try to calm yourself down. “What?”
They grab your phone, scrolling through the email like they’re scanning for something important. Then, suddenly, they freeze. Their mouth drops open slightly before they whip their head toward you, eyes wide.
“Y/n.”
You blink at them, confused. “What? Why are you saying my name like that? You’re scaring me.”
They turn your phone around and point aggressively at a specific section of the email. Your eyes dart over the words, still teary and a little overwhelmed, until one sentence jumps out at you.
VIP Standing – Early Entry & Soundcheck Access
Your brain short-circuits.
“Wait…” you breathe, staring at the words like they might morph into something else. “Wait, no. That can’t be right.”
Your best friend grabs your shoulders, shaking you a little. “You got VIP, you idiot!”
Your stomach drops. Your heart flips. Your breath gets caught somewhere between your lungs and your throat. The realization hits like a lightning bolt to the chest.
“I—I what?”
Your best friend practically cackles. “You have VIP! You’re going to be in the first row! You’re going to see them up close! You’re going to breathe the same air as Jisung!”
Your entire body freezes. You suddenly feel like your soul has left your body. First row. Close to the stage. Seeing them up close. Seeing Jisung up close.
Oh. Oh no.
Your face instantly heats up, your hands gripping your phone as if that’ll somehow keep you grounded. A nervous giggle escapes your lips, but it’s high-pitched and slightly deranged. Your best friend is watching you with pure amusement as you slowly curl in on yourself, overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of what just happened.
“I can’t—I can’t do this,” you whisper, eyes wide. “That’s too close. That’s too real.”
Your best friend laughs, nudging you playfully. “Too late! You’re gonna be right there, front and center. If you make eye contact with Jisung, you might actually pass out.”
Your brain goes into meltdown mode. The thought of seeing Jisung from the crowd was already a lot to handle, but this? Having a chance to be in the first row, close enough to see every little detail, every expression on his face? The mere idea makes your cheeks burn.
You groan dramatically, flopping onto your bed and burying your face into your pillow. “I’m going to die. This is how I die. I’m going to stand there, blushing like an idiot, and Jisung is going to think I’m some weird giggling mess.”
Your best friend flops down next to you, grinning. “Oh, absolutely. You’ll be the most adorable, awkward VIP in the history of Stray Kids concerts.”
You peek at them from the pillow, lips pursed. “That’s not comforting.”
They just laugh, ruffling your hair. “Hey, you’ve been waiting for this for years. Freak out all you want now, but when the day comes, you know you’re going to love every second of it.”
You groan again, but deep down, you know they’re right. No matter how shy or overwhelmed you feel now, the reality is… this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You’re going to be right there.
Jisung is going to be right there.
You kick your legs a little, giggling into your pillow again, feeling like your heart might actually burst. You don’t know how you’ll survive it, but one thing’s for sure—this is going to be the most unforgettable experience of your life.
Your best friend is staring at you with that mischievous glint in their eyes—the kind that only means trouble. You don’t trust it. You know this look.
“…What?” you ask cautiously.
They flop onto your bed dramatically. “You need a sign.”
You groan, already regretting everything. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.” They sit up, pointing at you with way too much enthusiasm. “You have VIP. You’re going to be right in front of the stage. If you don’t bring a sign, how will Jisung know it’s you?”
You scoff, crossing your arms. “He’s not going to remember me just because of a sign.”
“Uh, yes, he will,” they argue, scooting closer like they’re about to hit you with the most brilliant idea ever. “You need something eye-catching. Something that will force him to look at you.”
You squint. “Like what?”
They pause, thinking. And that’s when you know you’re doomed.
“Okay,” they start, clapping their hands together. “Option one: A huge, bright neon sign that says, ‘Jisung, you had me at hello.’ Since you used to write that in your letters, he’ll definitely notice.”
You chew your lip. That one’s actually kind of cute. But before you can say anything, your best friend is already moving on.
“Option two: A wanted poster with Jisung’s face on it. But instead of ‘wanted for crimes,’ it says, ‘wanted for stealing my heart.’”
You burst out laughing. “That’s so embarrassing!”
“Exactly!” They grin. “He’ll love it.”
You shake your head, covering your face. “No way. Not happening.”
“Fine, fine.” They wave you off. “Option three: You hold up a sign that says, ‘Jisung, if you read this, you owe me a high-five.’”
You pause. That… actually doesn’t sound too bad.
“Wait,” you mutter, lowering your hands. “That one might actually—”
“Or,” they cut in, way too excited now, “we go completely insane with it.”
You regret ever opening your mouth.
“Like?” you ask, already knowing you’re going to regret this.
They take a deep breath, dramatically extending their arms. “A giant sign with the worst pick-up line possible. Something so dumb, so cringe, that Jisung will have no choice but to notice you.”
You snort. “Like what?”
They immediately pull out their phone and start scrolling. “Let’s see… oh! How about: ‘Jisung, are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.’”
You groan, covering your face again. “Nooo, that’s so bad.”
“Or—wait, this one’s even worse: ‘Jisung, are you a bank loan? Because you’ve got my interest.’”
You throw a pillow at them.
They dodge, cackling. “Oh! Oh! Or, ‘Jisung, I lost my number, can I have yours?’”
“Stop!” you wail, flopping back on the bed. “I am not holding up a cringey pick-up line at a concert!”
Your best friend leans over you, grinning. “You’re right. We should make it worse.”
They sing, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you gently. “Come on, Y/N, you have to do something. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
You bite your lip, thinking. You’re so shy, and the thought of holding up something ridiculous in front of Jisung makes your stomach twist into nervous knots. But at the same time… you do want to do something. Something just for fun. Something that might make him smile.
With a deep sigh, you finally give in.
“Fine,” you mumble. “But no pick-up lines.”
Your best friend fist-pumps the air. “Yes! Okay, okay, we’ll come up with something perfect.”
This is how, unfortunately, you ended up there. Pressed against the barricades, right in the front line.
Your hands are slightly shaking, your heart is sprinting like it’s in the Olympics, and your sign—the one your best friend practically bullied you into making—is clutched tightly between your fingers. Big bold letters, scribbled with a mix of nerves and nostalgia, stare back at you:
"You had me at hello."
It feels surreal. You’re so close to the stage that you can see the setlist taped down, the microphones arranged neatly, and the faint outlines of shadows moving behind the curtain. Every time the lights flicker or the music changes, your breath catches in your throat like a glitch in your chest.
Your best friend is next to you, vibrating with excitement and nudging your shoulder every thirty seconds. “y/n,” they whisper for the hundredth time. “This is really happening.”
You nod, too stunned to even speak.
The crowd behind you is wild, cheering and chanting, ocean waves of sound crashing all around you—but you’re in your own little bubble. One where your knees are jelly, your cheeks are on fire, and your brain is screaming something like, “WHAT IF HE SEES IT? WHAT IF HE ACTUALLY REMEMBERS?”
You glance down at your sign again. That phrase—it’s more than just words now. It was in every letter you sent him. A silly little line you always ended your thoughts with, back when you were fifteen and awkward and full of hope. Back when you never thought he’d even open one of your letters, let alone read it out loud with that soft voice and smile.
“Oh, it’s in English, but it’s okay… we can communicate with our hearts.”
You clutch the sign tighter, heart squeezing. Suddenly, the lights go out and the crowd erupts. The music booms through the stadium like a thunderstorm of joy and adrenaline. And then— Stray Kids walk out.
You don’t scream. You forget how to. You forget how to breathe. Because he’s right there. Jisung.
He’s laughing at something Changbin says, mic in hand, messy brown hair slightly tousled from movement, and he looks even more unreal in person. Like someone sketched him out of your dreams and pressed copy-paste into real life.
Your best friend is elbowing you, but you barely notice. Your eyes are locked on him and then—he’s scanning the front row. You panic. Instinctively, you lift your sign. Your arms are trembling. Your lips are slightly parted. You don’t even know if he’s looking. But then—his gaze stops.
Right on you.
His eyes flick down to the sign, and for a split second, something changes in his expression. His smile falters—not in a bad way, just like someone pressed pause on his face. His lips part, just a little, like maybe he recognizes it. Like maybe…
Maybe he remembers. Your heart explodes. And just as quickly, he smiles. A small, warm, knowing smile and then the music kicks in, and he turns away—off to his next cue.
But your legs feel like Jell-O. Your eyes sting. Because just for a second, it felt like he saw you. And maybe—just maybe—he did.
The music is pounding, the lights are flashing in every color imaginable, the crowd around you is bouncing and screaming—but all you can think about is that moment. That split second when Jisung looked at your sign. Really looked.
And then… He doubles back.
You swear your soul almost leaves your body when Jisung turns his head and glances your way again. Just briefly—but it’s enough to make your heart catapult into your throat.
He squints, grinning, and this time he definitely reads your sign properly. His eyebrows lift in recognition, and he points—actually points—right at it. Right at you.
Your best friend shrieks beside you, shaking your arm like they’re trying to restart your brain. Then it happens. Jisung raises his mic, leans slightly toward your side of the stage, and mouths something exaggeratedly with a huge grin— "HELLOOOO!"
The fans scream like crazy, but all you can hear is your heart breaking in the best way possible.
You’re laughing and covering your face at the same time, suddenly so aware of your cheeks burning up. You feel stupid and giddy and emotional all at once. You peek between your fingers, only to see him doing a cheesy little heart with his arms and tossing it right in your direction.
You don’t even care if it’s just fanservice. In this exact moment, it feels like the world is narrowing down to just the two of you.
Like he remembers, like your letters meant something. Like this stupid, beautiful sign actually found its way to him again after all this time.
Your best friend is crying now too—probably from secondhand embarrassment, or maybe they’re just as soft as you. You scream. You cry. You laugh. You want to vanish and also replay that second a thousand times and even though the rest of the concert is still ahead of you, packed with lightsticks and choreo and noise— that moment?
That was yours. And he saw you.
You start noticing it somewhere around the third song.
At first, you think maybe you’re just being delusional. Wishful thinking, overwhelmed from that one unforgettable “HELLOOO” moment and still floating miles above Earth. But then… it keeps happening. Jisung keeps drifting to your side of the stage.
Every. Single. Time.
Whether it's during choreo or while they’re walking around to wave at fans, he’s always near. Hovering within your section, sneaking glances more often than your heart can handle. Sometimes his gaze flicks toward you so quickly, so naturally, it almost seems like habit. Like he's checking.
Your best friend notices first. “Okay, I’m not crazy, right?” they yell over the music. “He’s literally glued to this side. I swear, he’s looking at you again.”
You don’t answer. You can’t. You’re too busy trying not to combust.
There’s a song where he kneels near the edge of the stage, close enough to make out the shape of his earrings, his breath catching under the lights—and while the others wave and smile at the crowd, his eyes scan the front row. When they land on you, you feel it. The tiny pause. The almost imperceptible softening in his expression.
He smiles. Not big or loud like on TV, but something smaller. Something that feels personal. You can barely function.
He’s performing—singing and rapping and dancing like the powerhouse he is—but still, he sees you. Not just your sign, not just your face in a sea of fans. It’s deeper.
You can tell by the way he keeps looking like he’s trying to confirm something. Like he’s thinking: Is it really her? After all these years?
And maybe your face has changed a little. Maybe your hair’s different or your style’s matured—but the phrase on your sign hasn’t changed. Neither has the way your eyes shine when you look at him.
When the stage goes dark between songs, you catch him glancing over again. This time, he lifts his water bottle to take a sip and… winks. WINKS. You nearly pass out on the barricade. Your best friend has to literally fan you with the concert pamphlet.
And all night long, he’s still there. Dancing dangerously close. Sending hearts in your direction. Like a loop. Like a full circle. Like fate standing onstage in front of you wearing black boots and a mic. Han Jisung is a lot of things—idol, performer, artist. But tonight, he’s the boy who recognized you. And that might just ruin you forever.
The concert ends in a blur of lights, confetti, and screams that echo in your bones. As the last note fades and the boys disappear backstage, you’re left standing there, gripping the barricade like your life depends on it.
You can’t move.
Your knees have officially turned into jelly. Useless, wobbly jelly. The kind that doesn’t support a person who’s just experienced 2+ hours of direct Han Jisung fanservice.
Your best friend catches you the moment your legs give out. “Oh my God—okay, okay, I got you, sit down before you melt into the concrete.”
You let them half-carry, half-drag you a few steps back, where the crowd is slowly thinning out. Your heartbeat still hasn’t gone back to normal. Your eyes are wide and glassy, your cheeks hurt from smiling too much, and your brain is… not functioning.
You plop down on the ground, legs out, clutching your sign to your chest like it’s a priceless artifact. Your best friend crouches beside you, eyes shining with the kind of joy reserved for someone who just watched the most surreal rom-com moment happen in real life.
“Okay,” they say, “I know you’re about to spontaneously ascend into the clouds or whatever, but can we talk about how Jisung, THE Han Jisung, literally spent the whole concert stalking our section?”
You blink. You open your mouth. Nothing comes out. Then—“I. I don’t. Did that even. Was he—? Was that me?”
They let out a wheeze. “Yes, babe. That was you. He was looking at you. You were like… his anchor point on stage. His little human lighthouse. His—”
“Okay stop,” you squeak, slapping their arm lightly. “I’m already not breathing.” You fall back onto the ground dramatically, hands over your face, kicking your feet in the air like an overwhelmed anime character. “I literally cannot walk. I’m never recovering. This is it. I peaked.”
They lie down beside you in the parking lot chaos, laughing like you’re both ten years old again. “So when’s the wedding?”
“I’m gonna faint.” “You already did.”
You both just lay there, staring up at the Roman sky filled with leftover glow from the stadium, and for the first time in forever… you feel like maybe the universe really did hear all your letters. Because Han Jisung saw you and tonight, you’re more than just a fan. You were seen.
You’re still on cloud nine—maybe cloud ninety-nine, honestly—when it happens. You and your best friend are waddling toward the stadium exit, limbs aching in the best way possible, still squealing every five seconds about “THAT LOOK” and “HIS SMILE WAS FOR YOU,” when two staff members in sleek black jackets gently stop you with polite but firm smiles.
“Excuse me,” one of them says, glancing at your badge. “You were in the VIP section, yes?”
You blink. “Uh… y-yeah?”
“There’s just one quick thing we need to double-check with you and security. Won’t take long.”
You exchange a look with your best friend, confusion furrowing both your brows. But everything seems official enough—lanyards, radios, serious vibes—so you nod slowly. “Just her,” the second staff member adds. “Won’t take more than a few minutes. You can wait outside.”
Your best friend looks very skeptical, but you give their hand a squeeze. “I’ll be fine,” you whisper, heart already fluttering with curiosity, nerves, and—somehow—a sense of déjà vu. They guide you down a hallway behind the stadium, past doors labeled “Authorized Personnel Only.” Your heart is pounding again, the post-concert haze starting to shift into something else entirely—something warm and terrifying and electric.
You expect to find a security desk. Maybe someone with a clipboard asking you about your badge. Instead, they open a nondescript black door and gently motion you inside. And then?
They close it behind you. Leaving you in a quiet room, with one Korean staff member sitting by a small table…And Han Jisung. Standing there. Looking right at you.
You freeze. Your brain full-stops. Your hands go clammy, your vision tilts a little.
He’s dressed in casual post-show clothes now—oversized black hoodie, damp hair pushed back, skin still glowing under the fluorescent lights. And he’s holding a stack of papers in one hand. A Non-Disclosure Agreement.
“Hi,” he says, smiling nervously, like he’s the one about to faint. “I—I hope this isn’t too weird. But… I think we have a lot to talk about.”
You blink once. Twice. You point at him, dumbly. “You—uh—you’re real.”
He laughs. “So are you.”
You stare at him, brain not computing. “I—what—what’s going on?”
The staff member slides the NDA toward you gently and nods. “We just need you to sign this first. Then you can talk.”
You glance down at the document, then back up at Jisung, who suddenly looks very, very shy. “You had me at hello,” he murmurs, voice soft.
And that’s when it hits you. Your fingers are trembling. Not dramatically—just enough to make the pen slip weirdly between them like you’ve never held one before in your life. “This is… this is a prank,” you whisper, laughing nervously as you eye the NDA in front of you like it might suddenly morph into a math test. “Is this a prank? Are there cameras? Am I on Korean Punk’d right now?”
“No prank,” the staff member replies kindly - in a broken English you would say, and even they look a little amused.
You glance at Jisung again. He’s still standing there, fidgeting slightly with the sleeves of his hoodie, like he’s the nervous one. Which makes absolutely zero sense because he's Han Jisung. Global superstar. Idol. Rapper. The guy who lives in your playlists. The guy you once wrote a letter to while wearing pajamas and eating Nutella from the jar.
“I—okay,” you mutter, cheeks burning. “Yeah. Cool. Sure. Just signing… a totally normal legal document. In front of Han Jisung. Casual.” You bend over the table, but your hand stutters halfway through your name, and the result is this ridiculous, uneven signature that looks like a toddler tried to draw a bird.
You stare at it for a second.
“Oh my God,” you mumble. “That looks like a sneeze. That doesn’t even look like letters.” Jisung chuckles quietly behind you, and it sends a warm buzz all the way down your spine.
You slap your palm over the signature in defeat. “Can I get a redo? Please? Just one?”
“Don’t worry,” the staff member says, gently taking the paper. “You signed it. That’s what counts.” You nod quickly, awkwardly, then stand up so fast your chair squeaks loudly against the floor and you wince like you just stepped on a puppy.
Jisung steps closer. “You really didn’t think I’d remember you, did you?”
You meet his eyes—those soft, too kind eyes—and feel your heart thump all over again. “I didn’t even think you’d read the first letter,” you admit quietly.
He smiles. “Well… I read all of them.”
You blink up at him, brain still rattling around like a loose marble in a washing machine. Everything is surreal. The room. The papers. Him. Especially him. So, naturally, the words that tumble out of your mouth next are: “You’re lying.”
Jisung’s smile drops into something halfway between offended and dramatically scandalized. “Lying?!”
You immediately regret it. “I didn’t mean—I mean, I did say that, but—what I meant is—it just doesn’t make sense!” He crosses his arms, eyebrows lifting as he leans back slightly, all mock betrayal. “Wow. I invite you to my post-concert secret lair, I give you an NDA, and this is how I get treated? Accused of perjury?”
You let out a wheezy laugh, covering your face with both hands. “Okay, okay, but come on! You get like, thousands of letters! There’s no way mine stood out.”
Jisung’s expression softens. “Yours did.” Your breath catches in your throat. He shrugs a little, looking suddenly bashful again. “They weren’t like the others. Yours were messy. Honest. Funny. You rambled a lot.”
“I do ramble,” you say into your palms.
“And you always ended them with ‘You had me at hello.’ I started looking for that line every time a new letter came in. It felt like a secret code.” Your heart flips so violently it could probably qualify as a gymnastics routine.
“You’re… serious?” you whisper, peeking at him through your fingers.
Jisung steps a little closer, eyes locking with yours.
“I’m very serious. You made me feel… seen. Not like an idol. Just a guy. A guy who drinks too much iced coffee and overthinks song lyrics at 3 a.m.” You slowly lower your hands, blinking at him in disbelief.
“…You’re still a liar.”
He groans, dragging his hands down his face with a laugh. “Unbelievable.”
“I’m sorry!” you giggle, cheeks hurting from how hard you’re smiling. “I’m just—I don’t know how to believe this is real.”
He gestures to the room. “You signed an NDA. This is legally real.”
You snort.
Jisung grins again, “Wanna sit down? We have a lot of catching up to do… and I want to know everything.” You blink at him again, still partially convinced this is some elaborate prank or a very intense lucid dream. But then Jisung grabs two water bottles from a mini-fridge in the corner like it’s the most casual thing ever, cracks one open, and hands it to you.
“Alright,” he says, flopping onto the couch like he owns the universe. “Welcome to today’s episode of 'So You’re the Girl Who Wrote Those Letters,' hosted by me, your favorite idol-slash-detective, Han Jisung.”
You’re still standing awkwardly by the door, clutching the water like it’s a stress ball. “Is this really happening?”
He pats the seat next to him. “Very real. Very much happening. NDA signed, remember? No turning back now.”
You shuffle over, sitting on the edge of the couch like you're scared it might swallow you whole. He wiggles dramatically to make space, grinning at your stiff posture.
“So!” He clears his throat with fake professionalism. “Question one: On a scale from one to microwave popcorn, how nervous are you right now?”
“…What?”
“You heard me.”
You laugh—loud and surprised—shaking your head. “I don’t know… burnt popcorn?”
Jisung gasps. “That bad? Harsh. Okay, question two. Favorite ice cream flavor. Go.”
“Strawberry.”
He nods seriously, typing nothing into his imaginary clipboard. “Noted. Question three: why did you stop writing to me?”
You freeze.
He says it so casually, but his eyes—his eyes are serious now. You look down at your hands in your lap, fingers tightening around the bottle cap. “I think I just.. felt like I was bothering you for years. So I stopped.” A beat of silence.
"Y/n, you were never a bother."
Your heart cracks a little.
“And now…” he continues, voice lighter again, “Question four: What does ‘you had me at hello’ actually mean? Because I googled it once and ended up in a rom-com spiral.”
You snort, feeling your whole body loosen just a bit. “It’s from Jerry Maguire! It means… I liked you from the beginning. From the very start.”
“Ohhh.” He squints at you. “So you liked me before I even read your first letter?”
“I liked your music!” you clarify quickly, feeling your cheeks flame. “You were just… really inspiring and talented and—ugh, don’t look at me like that!”
“I’m not looking at you like anything!” he says, leaning forward, clearly enjoying your slow descent into social panic. “I just think it’s cute.” You groan into your hands.
He chuckles. “Okay, final question: do you still write letters?”
You peek at him through your fingers. “Sometimes. I just never send them anymore." Jisung leans back, arms crossed, giving you the softest smile you’ve seen all night.
“Well,” he says, “maybe you don’t have to send them anymore. Maybe you can just… say them. To me.” And just like that, you’re microwave popcorn again.
Your eyes finally rise to meet his again, and it hits you like a quiet storm.
Han Jisung is right in front of you. Up close, he’s unfairly beautiful in a way that your brain isn’t equipped to process. His hair is longer than usual, falling in damp strands that cling to his forehead and the sides of his face, still glistening with sweat from the concert. His honey skin shines under the backstage lights, flushed with heat and adrenaline, and there’s a soft heaviness to his breaths, like he ran straight from the stage just to see you.
You shouldn’t be staring. You know you shouldn’t. But how are you supposed to look away?
His eyeliner is slightly smudged at the corners, making his eyes look even deeper, darker, almost like they’re pulling you in. His lips are parted just a little, and for a terrifying second, you’re not sure if your legs are still functioning. Your whole body feels like it’s melting—cheeks burning, hands clammy, stomach turning into a rollercoaster.
Oh god. He’s looking at you too.
“Are you okay?” he asks, voice soft, still slightly breathless. “You look a little—uh… pink?”
You want to respond, say something clever, but all that comes out is a panicked squeak and an awkward cough as you drop your gaze to the floor. Your heart is doing parkour. Your brain has gone offline. You’re ninety-nine percent sure you’re blushing in every shade known to man.
This is not how you imagined meeting your favorite person.
You’re still trying to gather the shreds of your dignity from the floor when he suddenly reaches behind him and pulls something out from the table.
A pen and a notepad, he holds them out to you like he’s offering you his soul. “Write me one,” he says, eyes twinkling, lips curved into that signature mischievous grin. “A letter. Right now.”
You blink. “What?”
“You heard me.” He nudges the pen into your hands. “You wrote the first one when I didn’t even know your name. Now that I do…” He shrugs, leaning back on the couch with way too much confidence. “It’s only fair.”
“I—I can’t just—write something now,” you stammer, gripping the pen like it might explode. “You’re literally watching me.”
“Yup.” He grins wider. “And I won’t read it until you’re done. Promise.” He covers his eyes with one hand, peeking through his fingers. “Okay, mostly promise.”
You sit down slowly, legs still wobbly from concert-induced jelly mode, and rest the paper on your lap. The room goes quiet except for your shaky breathing and the rapid tap-tap of the pen against your palm.
hello stranger, This is so awkward I might actually pass away—
You pause. Scratch it out.
Hello stranger, You’re very sweaty right now and I’m trying not to faint—
Oh god. No.
You quickly fold the page over, hiding it from his view.
Jisung’s shoulders are trembling from silent laughter, his hand still over his face. “That good, huh?”
You grumble, “This was a terrible idea.” But you keep writing anyway. Because deep down, it kind of feels like everything you never thought could happen… is actually happening.
You chew on the tip of the pen, brow furrowed in concentration, totally lost in your own little whirlwind of panic and ink-stained emotions. The world has shrunk down to this piece of paper, this moment, this boy who once lived in your headphones but is now sitting across from you, waiting with a soft grin and stars in his eyes.
And while you're focused on your shaky handwriting, completely unaware of how adorable your nose scrunches every time you get stuck on a sentence—
Jisung is staring at you like you hung the moon.
He leans forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees, chin propped up by his hand. His expression shifts, playful grin softening into something quieter, something a little stunned. It’s like he’s watching something rare, something fleeting. Something that doesn’t even realize how beautiful it is.
You’re right there, nervously scribbling out sentences and sighing dramatically when things don’t sound perfect. Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, your cheeks still warm from the earlier fluster. You keep whispering the words under your breath as you write them—like you want to make sure they feel right.
And Jisung can’t take his eyes off you.
He’s seen crowds of thousands. Stages filled with flashing lights and screaming fans. But somehow, in this quiet room with your knee bouncing anxiously and your fingers smudged with ink—
You’re the only thing he can focus on.
For the first time in a long time, Han Jisung isn’t thinking about lyrics, or cameras, or performances. He’s just watching you, heart thudding in his chest like a drum beat only he can hear.
You’re still hunched over the paper, determined to finish your masterpiece of a letter, when the door suddenly creaks open with a sharp click. You flinch, nearly dropping the pen. Jisung doesn’t even look up. He’s too busy watching you like you’re made of stardust.
"Yo, Jisung—" Chan’s voice cuts through the soft stillness. "We’re leaving in five, man, so if you’re—" He stops dead in his tracks when he notices you.
The silence that follows is loud.
Your head snaps up. Chan stares. You blink. Jisung turns his head slowly, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "...Oh," Chan says.
"Hyung," Jisung coughs, straightening up so fast his hair bounces, "I can explain."
Chan raises an eyebrow. "Should I be... concerned or congratulating you right now?"
"I—um—neither?" Jisung scratches the back of his neck. "She’s the letter girl."
Chan's eyes widen just a bit. “The letter girl?” You give the most awkward little wave in human history. Chan just laughs under his breath and runs a hand through his hair. “Well, that makes sense now. You were obsessed with those letters.”
Jisung shoots him a look. “I wasn’t obsessed.”
“You read them like bedtime stories, bro.” You shrink slightly in your chair, cheeks burning. Chan notices and immediately softens, raising his hands.
"Sorry—didn’t mean to embarrass you. Just… this is kinda surreal."
"Tell me about it," you mumble, still gripping the pen like a weapon.
Chan smiles and backs up toward the door. "Alright, alright. I’ll give you two a few more minutes. But Jisung—three tops, or I’m dragging you out myself."
“Got it,” Jisung says, not even looking away from you.
And just before Chan slips out, he glances at Jisung one more time and adds with a smirk, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” The door shuts again.
Silence returns. You glance at Jisung, heart racing. “So… ‘letter girl,’ huh?”
He grins. “Told you were unforgettable.”
The room settles again after Chan’s exit, but your heartbeat refuses to calm. You’re pretty sure it’s echoing off the walls. You try to focus on the letter again, but your hand feels shaky, and Jisung’s eyes haven’t left you since. He leans back a little, resting his palms on the edge of the couch, lips pressed together like he’s holding back a thousand things at once. “So…” he says slowly, voice warm and teasing, “you’re kind of famous in our dorm, you know.”
You snort, embarrassed. “Yeah, well, I didn’t expect that anyone actually read those letters. Let alone… multiple people.”
“I didn’t just read them,” he says, more serious now. “I waited for them.”
You look up. He’s already looking at you.
“Every month,” he continues, softer now. “I’d hope for your handwriting. Your awkward little jokes. The way you signed them with those weird doodles in the corners.”
You blink quickly, swallowing a sudden knot in your throat. “They were really bad doodles.”
“They were the best part,” he grins.
A quiet beat.
Then Jisung shifts forward a little, fingers nervously tapping his knee. “Hey, um…”
Uh-oh. The stammer is back. His usual confidence slips for just a second.
“If you’re not—like—leaving right away, or busy, or… I dunno, allergic to Korean food…” he chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Would you maybe… wanna grab dinner? With me?”
Your brain short-circuits.
Dinner.
With Han Jisung.
Dinner.
You open your mouth, but nothing comes out at first. You have to take a breath and reboot your voice system entirely.
“I—I mean, yeah, I could eat,” you say. “Not, like, desperately hungry or anything, I just… yeah. Food. Cool.”
Jisung laughs, the tension in his shoulders easing immediately. “Cool. Awesome. Yeah.”
You both sit there for a moment—smiling like two idiots, hearts pounding, cheeks burning, knees brushing under the table without meaning to.
And just like that, the boy you once only knew through a screen is standing up, holding the door open for you, and smiling at you like a sunshine, “C’mon, Letter Girl. Let’s get you some dinner.”
The hallway is quiet as you and Jisung slip out of the room, flanked by a silent Korean staff member who guides you toward a black van parked just behind the venue. You can barely feel your feet on the ground—everything’s a blur of fluorescent lights, adrenaline, and the fact that you’re walking beside Han Jisung like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Except it’s not.
Not even close. As the staff opens the side door of the van, Jisung gestures for you to go in first. You nod and awkwardly half-bow, then climb into the seat behind the driver. Jisung hops in right after you, sitting beside you with barely a few inches of space in between.
And that’s when it hits you.
You’re in a car with Han Jisung. After a concert. His concert. Sweaty Han Jisung. Oh god sweaty Jisung. Who invited you to dinner.
You inhale through your nose—trying so hard to be normal—but it doesn’t help. Because the smell of his cologne, mixed with just a little leftover sweat and stage energy, is literally intoxicating. And unfair.
He buckles in, leans back, and casually glances over at you. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” you blurt, way too fast, your voice cracks on the word “fine.”
He stifles a laugh. “You sure? You look like you might short-circuit.”
“I feel like I might,” you admit, covering your face with your hands and groaning softly. “This is so weird.”
“Not in a bad way, I hope?”
“No! No, no. Just… weird in a ‘how is this my life right now’ kind of way.”
Jisung smiles, shifting to face you more directly. “It’s weird for me too. In the best way.”
The car starts moving, and you both fall into a gentle silence—one that feels warm and oddly familiar despite the circumstances. You sneak a side glance at him.
His hair is still slightly damp, a few strands curling at the tips. His cheeks are flushed from the show, his eyes soft now, not wide-eyed and loud like on stage. He looks… real. And that’s when he catches you staring. “Something on my face?” he grins.
You snap your head forward so fast your neck nearly cracks. “No! I mean—yes. I mean—your face is on your face, but nothing wrong with it—”
He chuckles, low and fond, and leans his head back against the seat. “You’re cute when you panic.”
You press your lips together, letting out a weak little whimper. “Why would you say that out loud?”
He smirks and shrugs, gazing out the window. “Just speaking from the heart.”
The restaurant is dimly lit, stylish but cozy, tucked in a quiet corner of Rome. The kind of place you would never walk into alone, let alone with Han Jisung sitting across from you.
The server seats you both in a corner booth. Jisung shrugs off his jacket and settles in, his damp hair finally drying into soft waves that brush the tops of his ears. He stretches a little before glancing at you. “What do you wanna eat? I’m starving.”
You open the menu and nearly forget how to read. Confused words blur into nonsense, and your eyes dart nervously to the little pictures beside each dish. You point randomly. “That one looks… food.”
Jisung snorts. “That one is food. Solid choice.”
The server returns and Jisung takes over with shocking ease, placing the order in basic but charming Korean. You blink at him, because that was hot as hell.
“You’re nervous,” Jisung says through a laugh, resting his chin on his hand, smiling lightly. “It’s okay though. you're cute when you're nervous.” Despite the mess, despite the way your nerves are doing backflips, this already feels like a core memory. And Jisung—he doesn’t seem fazed at all.
You mumble lightly with hands that cover your face. “You’re really going to ruin me tonight, aren’t you?”
“Maybe a little,” he says with a wink. “But in the sweetest way possible.”
The dinner wraps up and the two of you step out into the cool city evening, the air crisp and fresh after a long, heated meal. The city feels different at night—quiet yet alive, with a gentle hum of conversation and the soft clink of glasses from nearby cafes. You can see the faint glow of the lights in the distance, and it feels like the perfect backdrop for a night out with Jisung, though you’re still trying to convince your body it’s actually happening.
You and Jisung walk side by side, the streets gently bustling with life, but it feels as though the world around you has slowed down, just for a moment. Every few steps, your hands brush together, sending little jolts up your arm, and each time, you quickly pull your hand away, your heart racing like it’s trying to escape your chest.
You’re not sure if he notices, but it feels like you’re walking in a dream. You’re not supposed to be this close to him. You can barely remember how to keep your hands to yourself.
And then—he stops.
Right in the middle of the cobblestone street. A car passes by, headlights painting the two of you in a fleeting, golden light. Your breath catches. “Uh… Jisung?”
He’s standing there, staring ahead, his hands shoved in his pockets, his face tight. You can see the muscles in his jaw working, and for a second, you think he might be upset. But when he looks at you, there’s a storm behind his eyes—a frustration you can’t place.
“Y/n…” he starts, his voice low, almost like he’s trying to keep it steady. “I need you to stop.”
“Stop?” You blink, confused, trying to figure out what he’s talking about. “Stop what?”
He turns to face you fully now, his shoulders tense. “Stop pretending like you don’t know what’s going on here.”
Your heart skips a beat, and you frown. “What do you mean?”
His expression softens for a second before the frustration creeps back. “I mean… stop acting like you haven’t noticed how I’ve been looking at you all night.”
You freeze. “Jisung, I—”
“No, listen,” he cuts you off, running a hand through his slightly damp hair. “I’m not saying you’re doing this on purpose. But you keep pushing me away, like you’re scared. But I’m not some... some idol you have to be afraid of, okay? I’m just me.”
You open your mouth to protest, but he continues, voice rising a little more in frustration now. “Every time I think maybe you’re starting to trust me, you pull back. And then when I think I’ve done something wrong, you just—” He stops, taking a deep breath. “You don’t understand, do you? You don’t get how much I’ve thought about you.”
Your breath hitches in your throat, your eyes wide, and it’s like the world slows down even more. You stand there in silence for a moment, processing what he’s just said. Your chest feels tight, your palms sweating.
And then you manage to speak, voice shaking, “I—I didn’t know you felt that way.”
He laughs, but it’s a low, frustrated sound, not like before. “Yeah, I know. I’ve been terrible at showing it. But I want you to know, Y/n… I’m trying here. And I don’t want you to keep pushing me away. I want you to let me in.”
You swallow hard, your heart beating faster now, and for the first time, you realize how ridiculously close you are to him. You’re both standing on the cobblestones, inches away, and your pulse is thundering in your ears.
“Jisung…” Your voice falters.
He looks down at you, eyes softer now, but still intense. “I know you’re scared. I know it’s a lot. But I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
And just like that, the tension in the air shifts. His words—raw and unfiltered—wrap around you, and for a moment, everything feels different. The world feels a little smaller. His gaze softens, and he reaches out, barely brushing his fingertips against yours.
This time, you don’t pull away. Your fingers tangle with his, just a touch, like a quiet promise. And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself feel it. Whatever this is.
You stand there, still trying to wrap your head around everything that’s just been said. Jisung’s words are echoing in your mind, like a melody you can’t shake. You’ve been trying so hard to keep it together, trying to make sense of the whirlwind that is him, that is this. But you’re still so shocked, still so shaken by everything happening, you can barely breathe. You look at him—really look at him—and the storm inside your chest only grows.
“I’m just—” You shake your head, your words tumbling out in a rush. “I’m still trying to figure all this out. I’ve never been in something like this, Jisung. I don’t even know how to react. You’re you and I’m just… me. And I don’t get why you even… want this, want me.”
You let out a short, shaky laugh, but it’s all nerves. “I’m just—so surprised, and it feels like I’m waiting for someone to wake me up and tell me it’s not real. It’s a lot to handle, and my brain is still catching up.”
Jisung stands there, silent, watching you with an expression that’s almost unreadable, but his eyes never leave yours. You feel the weight of the night, of the connection between you two, hanging in the air like an unspoken truth. Your pulse quickens as the words tumble out of your mouth, but the moment they do, you feel silly for saying them.
“I just don’t know if I’m ready for all of this, Jisung,” you whisper, stepping back slightly, almost as if you’re trying to distance yourself from the intensity of it all.
His gaze softens. He’s still standing just a few inches away from you, but there’s a distance between you now—a distance you can’t seem to bridge. You look at him, your chest tight with a hundred different emotions, and before you can continue your rambling thoughts, he steps forward in one fluid motion.
And then, without any warning, he reaches up, his hand cupping your face with a tenderness that takes your breath away. His thumb brushes your cheek, a silent gesture that sends a wave of warmth rushing through you.
“You don’t need to figure everything out right now, Y/n,” he murmurs, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I’m not asking for all of you at once. I just want you to be real with me. You’re not alone in this, okay? I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
You swallow hard, still lost in the weight of his words, when you feel his fingers gently lifting your chin. His gaze drops to your lips, his breath brushing across your face. Everything about the moment feels like a slow-moving storm. You don’t even realize you’ve been holding your breath until it catches in your throat.
And then, without any warning, Jisung closes the small gap between you two. His lips are soft, tentative at first, like he’s waiting for you to pull away. But you don’t. You don’t want to.
The kiss starts slow, almost hesitant, but as soon as his lips press against yours, a quiet fire blooms in your chest. Your mind blanks for a split second, everything else fading into the background. It’s gentle at first, just a brush of lips, a quiet meeting of worlds that shouldn’t fit but do, somehow. You feel his warmth, the soft pressure of his lips against yours, and it all feels like something you never could’ve imagined before.
But then he deepens the kiss ever so slightly, his hand shifting to cradle the back of your neck, pulling you in closer, and your knees feel like they might just give out. The kiss becomes more urgent, more alive, and the world tilts around you as his lips move with a careful urgency, like he’s telling you something without words.
You respond instinctively, your hands coming up to rest against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart through the fabric of his shirt. You can’t help but melt into him, your senses overloaded by the sensation of him—his warmth, his touch, the way his kiss makes everything else feel so far away.
When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, his breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps. You’re both still, your chest rising and falling together, and for a long moment, neither of you says a word. The city around you fades away completely, and all that’s left is the feeling of his lips, the softness of his touch, and the steady rhythm of your hearts beating in sync.
“I don’t want you to be scared anymore,” he whispers, his lips brushing against your cheek as he speaks. “You don’t have to be.”
You stare up at him, your heart still racing, still trying to comprehend what just happened, but there’s no denying it. The quiet promise in his words, the sincerity in his eyes—it makes something inside you stir.
“Jisung…” You whisper his name like it’s the only thing that matters right now.
His eyes meet yours again, and this time, it’s clear. He’s not going anywhere. Neither are you.
"You had me at hello."
#han jisung#( skz. — 💭! )#stray kids#han jisung skz#han jisung x reader#han jisung smut#skz#han jisung fluff#fan x idol#fan x idol relationship
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“Who’s your crush?”
carlos sainz jr x fem!model!reader
fc: pheobe tonkin (i love her so much)
warnings: some cussing!!
authors note: just fluff, some comedy ig, i love doing smaus! any feedback is appreciated and please like, comment, and reblog!! hope you enjoy!!
f1 masterlist
y/n_ig

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bts for vogue 😘
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bellahadid obsessed with you 😍
↳ y/n_ig in love with you!!
yourbff my stargirl 🥺
↳ y/n_ig 🥺
carlossainzjr beautiful 😍😍😍
↳ username9 @.carlossainzjr day 3482 of carlos being a simp and y/n not responding
↳ stany/n @username9 help why’d you do him like that 😭😭
↳ username6 @username9 it’ll happen one day (i’m delulu)🥲
username3 she’s so gorgeous it’s insane 🥴
zendaya 😚 liked by y/n_ig
arianagrande my sweet girl 🥹💋
↳ y/n_ig 💋💋💋
username5 she is the moment. 🤭
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scuderiaferrari post a new video!!


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italy 🇮🇹 with @/versace 😚✨
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carlossainzjr absolutely gorgeous 🫣❤️
↳ username9 @.carlossainzjr day 3832 of carlos being a simp and y/n not responding
↳ username6 @username9 helpjkjlsksk the numbers got bigger 💀😭
bellahadid 😍😍😍
username3 face card never declinessss 🤩
kehlani my gf 💋
↳ y/n_ig muah 💋
yourbff speechless 🫣
↳ y/n_ig 🤭
username miss y/nnnn
username1 yes yes yes 🤭
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in paris 🇫🇷 with @.chanel
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beyoncé gorgeous honey ❤️
↳ y/n_ig queen!!! i love you ❤️
carlossainzjr effortlessly beautiful 🥴😍
↳ username9 @.carlossainzjr day 3852 of carlos being a simp and y/n not responding
arianagrande my queen 🤧✨
↳ y/n_ig i love u 😚
zendaya okay skinnnn 🤩 liked by y/n_ig
stany/n face card never declines my gawd 😫🥴
username2 her✨
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@.chanel cruise 💋✨
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carlossainzjr truly devine 🫣😘 liked by y/n_ig
↳ username9 @.carlossainzjr oh 👀 a like huh 🫢
kehlani i’m in love 😍
↳ y/n_ig with you 💋
bellahadid my girl 💋
↳ y/n_ig my heart 🥰
damsonidris beautiful liked by y/n_ig
username5 she loves bathtubs 😭
↳ stany/n @username5 girll shhhhh
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diamond girl 💎✨ @.cartier
username5 stunning my lord 😩🤩
bellahadid marry me pls 🫣😵💫
↳ y/n_ig yes 😚
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carlossainzjr i’ll give you all the diamonds in the world cariño 🤧❤️
↳ y/n_ig 🤭
↳ username9 @.y/n_ig AHHH OMG?!?!!! YOU RESPONDED!! 🤯🫢
zendaya i fainted 🤧
↳ y/n_ig 🤭
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stany/n sorry for being on the same earth as you 😖😫
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when in madrid 🇪🇸✨
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carlossainzjr would you like a tour guide? i’ll show you the most beautiful places here and maybe we can get dinner after? 🫣❤️
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↳ y/n_ig i’ll see you soon, promise 🥹😘
username3 be mine 😫😫😫
username10 how can someone be so beautiful 🥹🤩
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the date was perfect 🤧❤️
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bellahadid 🥰
yourbff 🤧✨
kehlani 🤭
arianagrande 🥹💖
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perfect like my view 😍❤️
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charlesleclerc congrats carlos!! 🥰
landonorris about time!!! 👏🏼
scuderiaferrari welcome to the family y/n!!! 🥰
f1 yay!!!
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© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own
#ꨄ࿎victoria’s writings!࿎ꨄ#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x female reader#f1 smau#f1 carlos#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 imagine#formual one#formula 1 smau#canadian gp 2024#max verstappen
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thank all the gods in the world jayvik isn't canon
Oooooh ohohoh, what a way to jumpstart my day! I could have just ignored this and deleted it, or written something like "lol sucks to be wrong", BUT, instead, I am delighting in a lengthy response as I sip my coffee, whether you read it or not. Because y'know what, Jayvik isn't just a ship to me; these two characters represent a bond that *literally* redefines a universe. So many people look to their fictional relationship as a hopeful guide for their own real situations, and I'm not gonna let some cowardly anon dismiss it. I didn't survive the Klance trenches to just ignore this.
Also, I'm an aethiest, so I neither thank nor blame any Gods.
First of all, have you seen this show? Have you truly watched it? Or did you just consume it shallowly, only once, not taking in any of its deeper meanings? Have you absorbed the level of compassion and love these two fictional men hold for each other? If one of these two had been a woman, perhaps you wouldn't have visited my blog and left this little gift, anon. I mean, I don't want to assume, but you haven't given me much to go on.
MANY creators contributed to this beautiful fandom, launching thousands of pieces of cosplay (notably BBN0$), fanart, fanfic (it ballooned on A03 after S02). Pinktea_san on Twitter made this timeline:
Have you watched any of the BTS of the voice actors? Harry Lloyd (VA for Viktor) gives a beautifully crafted answer about whether or not Jayce and Viktor are platonic.
Oh yeah, Harry also freakin signed one of the top kudos'd Jayvik fics. Pretty big win for the author!
Here also is Jayce's VA signing a beautiful piece of fanart:
Do you know the ending is left open for interpretation, but a largely agreed-upon ending for Jayce and Viktor is that they're happily existing in companionship somewhere, in a little cottage by a stream, with their four children, baking each other cupcakes?
Christian Linke actually signed an iconic Jayvik meme~
There's actually a whole Twitter thread here: "jayvik being supported by arcane staff (and other silly details in the series) — an endless thread"
There was also a gallery event at Gallery Nucleus wherein merch was sold (screened by Fortiche and Riot), including Jayvik-themed stickers:
I think at this point, dear anon, you've either left or blocked me lol, but I will conclude this essay with this piece from Amanda Overton, a writer, co-producer and executive story-writer:
I want to highlight this line: "Oh, well maybe there is hope [for] these guys to have some future beyond what the show intended."
All this to say: the show's ending is LEFT OPEN FOR INTERPRETATION. Your comment catalyzed me to spend my limited free time compiling these lil fandom-bits (flashbacks to composing scientific papers, oh man), because I truly believe Jayvik is a powerful and beautiful ship, in one of the healthiest fandoms I've ever been in. It's canon to a lot of people, including the freakin staff of the show, and it's canon to me. I won't force the ship on anyone, and if you want to think it's not canon, freakin' go ahead I guess. It's a goddamn multiverse of options. At this point, this response is for me, and anyone else who finds beauty in Jayvik.
Jayvik Nation, never die.
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How to speak without words
a simple guide, by Jikook
This post is all about context, so for context 31 March is Trans Day of Visibility.
Its a day be your authetic and true self and to show the world that trans people exist.
I'm also going to use it as an opportunity to talk about something that comes up over and over, especially with Jimin & JK.
How do we share our story if we can't speak directly?
In the spaces around Jimin & Junkgook, there's a lot of discussion about the messages they are or aren't sending.
For some people these messages aren't significant enough to validate or even to make them wonder. They don't see the broader context or the cumulative effect of the many small moments. Its easy to dismiss it all as isolated incidents.
But for those of us who are seeing the whole picture, nothing is lost or ignored or dismissed.
We understand how these small moments fit together to create a complex story because we see the wider context. They are individual threads in the tapestry of their lives.
When JK goes live on Weverse on White Day wearing a white shirt and not much else and has a drink with ARMY, and we know Jimin is not around, we get what's happening. When Jimin posts a photo of the two of them wearing white on White Day, he doesnt need to say anything else.

When JK sends a thirst trap birthday message for Jimin and ends it with a clunky 'happy birthday bro', we know why.
When he uses the sign language for love on a stage in front of the whole world and directs it at Jimin, we see what hes doing.

When Jungkook presents himself as the vampiric stereotype - lusting for the forbidden - in his photo folio and Jimin parallels this with his own mythic themes and darkly sensual imagery in the same project, we can't misunderstand the symbolism.

When Jimin says "hurry up and be me soon", when he presents feminine for one concept and masculine for the next, when he stands on the Miss Dior red carpet in a cape and full face of make-up but with his bloodied knuckles on full display, we can't pretend we don't see it.

When Jimin & Jungkook wear matching outfits, even even when they're not together...

When they publicly conform to couple stereotypes - off stage and outside of BTS...

We know. We see it all as a single woven story and we know.
And like any truly committed couple, they're there for each other in good times and bad. They celebrate their successes, comfort each other, and stick together when times get tough.

And no, they've never verbally confirmed or denied. The context of their lives makes any such declaration incredibly difficult, if not impossible. Regardless, they owe no explanation. But being so visible would be confirmation enough for almost any other couple to be acknowledged.
They tell us over and over who they are.
Showing so undeniably that they are always there for each other is more than enough, honestly. If you can accept all the things you cannot see, how can you look at these two and not see love?
💜💛
That's essentially what the Trans Day of Visibility is about.
Showing that you exist.
Being seen and believed.
You don't needs to make a speech or an announcement. You can if you want to of course. You can go to a rally if you want to be with the trans community, and in the current political climate that might be safer if you want to be seen.
Maybe you just want to drop a hint ... iykyk
But you don't have to be seen at all if you choose not to...

Shout out to all the trans, gender diverse, gender questioning, and gender non-conforming humans in the world and all our allies and supporters too.
On this year's Trans Day of Visibility, I understand more than ever why people might prefer to remain invisible. It's dangerous out there.
Nevertheless, celebrate yourself today and every day. Being authentic and living your life as your genuine self in a way that makes you happy is your right.
If you aren't there yet, take your time, be brave where you can but be safe, and know that you are amazing.
Trans right are human rights.
And in case it's needed, here's a message for the haters: You will never win. We've always been here and we will always be here. Just like every other human, we belong here too 🏳️⚧️
#seeing is believing#park jimin#jeon jungguk#jikook#kookmin#국민#true love#jungkook#jimin#trans day of visibility#transgender#how much hate will i get for posting about trans rights?
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Hiii 💜 Your blog has become such a safe place for me. If it isn't too much and isn't triggering for you, would you be willing to write OT7 headcanons for them finding the reader's old SH scars? Maybe some angst, but definitely more comfort. Thank you so much! 💜
💌 Reply:
hi, there 💜 first THANK YOU for trusting me with this request. your words mean the world, and i’m so glad this space feels safe for you. that’s what i hoped to create... I loved writing these headcanons (angst with comfort is my Roman Empire), and i hope they wrap you in the warmth and care you deserve Sending you universe-sized hugs (id you want). Feel free to reach out again – c –🧸
BTS OT7 x Reader Finding Old SH Scars Headcanons
Pairings: OT7 x Gender-Neutral!Reader (Romantic) Rating: PG-13 (T) Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff Warnings: discussions of self-harm scars, emotional trauma, references to past pain
If you or someone you know needs support, here’s a resource for emergency contacts worldwide.



KIM NAMJOON (RM)
HOW HE NOTICES
on rainy afternoon in his home library
you’re reaching for a poetry anthology on the top shelf
your sleeve slipping slightly as you stretch
he is seated cross-legged on the floor with a notebook
glances up just as the light catches the faint, silvery lines along your forearm
his pen stills mid-sentence
Initial Reaction
his breath hitches
doesn’t gasp or stare
sets down his notebook with deliberate calm
= as if afraid sudden movement might startle you
his mind races
“How did I never notice? Was I not paying enough attention?”
his expression remains soft
brows furrowed in quiet concern
WHAT HE THINKS/FEELS
Guilt
“I should’ve seen it sooner. Did they think they couldn’t tell me?”
Sadness
deep ache settles in his chest
imagining the pain you carried alone
Resolve
“They’re here now. I’ll make sure they never feel that alone again.”
WHAT HE DOES
Grounds Himself First
takes a slow breath
steadying his own emotions
thinks he needs to be an anchor, not another storm
Approaches Gently
rises to stand beside you
hand hovering near yours on the bookshelf
“Can I… help you with that?”
his voice is feather-light
giving you space to pull away
Creates Safety
if you tense, he steps back
“No pressure. Let’s just sit, yeah?”
guides you to the window nook
his arm a loose, comforting weight around your shoulders
WHAT HE SAYS
Opens the Dialogue
“You don’t have to explain. But if you ever want to… I’ll listen.”
thumb brushes your wrist
he's avoiding the scars but radiating warmth
Metaphors of Healing
“You know how trees grow stronger around their wounds? These are like rings.”
traces the air above your arm, not touching
"Proof you grew through the hurt.”
Affirmation
“You’re not broken. You’re brave. And I’m so proud you’re here.”
HOW HE COMFORTS
Physical Reassurance
lets you lean into him
your head tucked under his chin
his heartbeat steady against your ear
= a silent promise
“I’ve got you.”
Symbolic Gestures
later gifts you a potted olive sapling
“They symbolize peace. Maybe… we can grow it together.”
Ongoing Support
leaves a blank journal on your pillow
“For the days words are too heavy. Or for grocery lists. No rules.”
starts a ritual of “quiet hours”
no talking
just shared presence
you find him sketching constellations in the margins of his notebook/or writing lyrics
his shoulder pressed to yours
note: would cry privately afterward, angry at a world that hurt you, but he’ll always smile when you enter the room



KIM SEOKJIN (JIN)
HOW HE NOTICES
happens while you’re baking together
in his sunlit kitchen
you’re rolling dough for sugar cookies
sleeves pushed up to your elbows
Jin, flour dusting his apron, reaches over to steal a chocolate chip
freezes
his eyes catch on the faded lines along your forearm
his playful grin fades
replaced by a stillness that feels heavier than the silence
Initial Reaction
hand hovers mid-air
trembling slightly before he pulls it back
he doesn’t gasp or recoil
his shoulders tense like he’s bracing for a blow
talks softly
voice uncharacteristically quiet
“Let’s… take a break, yeah?”
WHAT HE THINKS/FEELS
Heartbreak
visceral ache
imagining you in pain he couldn’t shield you from
Guilt
“How did I miss this? Was I too busy joking around?”
Protective Fury
at the world, at himself
“I’ll never let them feel that pain again.”
WHAT HE DOES
Creates Space
turns off the oven
guides you to the couch
his hand at the small of your back
his touch is firm but gentle
= like he’s afraid you’ll vanish
Silent Solidarity
doesn’t push
pulls you into his lap
your head tucked under his chin
arms wrap around you like a shield
one hand cradling the back of your head
Acts of Service
finishes baking alone
presenting you with imperfect heart-shaped cookies
“Made with extra love. And… hyung’s tears. Secret ingredient.”
WHAT HE SAYS
Soft Validation
“You don’t have to explain. But if you ever want to… I’ll stay up all night listening.”
Raw Honesty
“I’m not gonna say I understand. But I’ll always try.”
Vow
“You’re stuck with me now. I’ll annoy you with love until you forget how to hurt.”
HOW HE COMFORTS
Routine Reassurance
starts a nightly ritual
texting you a single 🌟 emoji
“So you know I’m here. Even when I’m not.”
Gentle Touch
traces your scars only if you let him
each pass of his thumb a silent promise
“You’re here. You’re safe.”
Unyielding Presence
shows up at your door after bad days with takeout and a dumb rom-com
“No talking. Just… let hyung be your distraction.”



MIN YOONGI (SUGA)
HOW HE NOTICES
late, the kind of night where the studio feels more like a sanctuary than a workplace
you’re curled on the couch in his studio
sleeves rolled up as you sketch absentmindedly
Yoongi glances over from his mixing board
his eyes catching the faint, faded lines on your inner arm
his breath stalls mid-exhale
fingers freezing over the keyboard
swallows hard
heart jumping a beat
Initial Reaction
his shoulders tense
he doesn’t gasp or look away
shuts his laptop with a quiet click
= the sound deliberate but not sharp
his mind flashes to his own past
= sleepless nights, the weight of expectations
he pushes it down
"This isn’t about me."
WHAT HE THINKS/FEELS
Empathy
“I know that kind of pain. I know how it echoes.”
Guilt
“Why didn’t they tell me? Did they think I wouldn’t get it?”
Protectiveness
fierce, quiet anger
not at you
at a world that made you feel this was the only way
WHAT HE DOES
Grounds Himself
takes a swig of water
his jaw tight
won’t let his own history cloud your moment
Approaches Without Pressure
walks to the couch
sits beside you
not too close
hands you his half-finished iced coffee
“You look thirsty.”
= peace offering, not a demand
Creates Space
if you stiffen, he nudges your ankle with his socked foot
“Stay. I’ll… work. If that’s okay.”
WHAT HE SAYS
Soft Opening
“You don’t have to talk. But if you do… I’ll listen.”
his voice is rougher than usual
= like gravel under snow
Shared Truth
“I’ve got scars too. Not the same, but… I get it. The weight.”
rolls up his sleeve just enough to show the faint marks on his wrist
you talk for hours
Promise
“You’re not alone anymore. Not unless you want to be.”
HOW HE COMFORTS
Silent Solidarity
doesn’t push
lets you cry
his hand resting palm-up on the couch cushion
= silent invitation
Practical Care
orders jajangmyeon at 3 a.m.
chopsticks split and ready
“Eat. You’ll think clearer.”
Music as Medicine
plays you a demo track later
= moody piano, no lyrics
“It’s called ‘Enough.’ For… when you forget you are.”
EXTRA: ONGOING SUPPORT
Routine Check-Ins
texts “Studio?” every friday
lets you sit in silence while he works
Small Acts
leaves a hoodie in your bag
“In case it’s cold.”
it’s always his softest one
but also so you can hide the scars when you don' have anything else
Advocacy
quietly donates to mental health orgs under your initials
you find the receipt once
he shrugs
“Tax write-off.”



JUNG HOSEOK (J-HOPE)
HOW HE NOTICES
during a late-night dance practice
you’re both sweating
laughing as he tries to teach you the choreography for “Dynamite”
when you spin, your sleeve slips
revealing a cluster of faint, silvery lines on your inner arm
Hobi’s smile falters mid-count
“Five, six, seven...”
his eyes lock onto your wrist
he freezes
smile dropping
Initial Reaction
his breath catches
he quickly masks his shock with a forced grin
“Let’s… take a water break!”
fumbles with the speaker
hands trembling as he pauses the track
his voice cracks slightly
“You’re doing great, but hydration first, right?”
WHAT HE THINKS/FEELS
Guilt
“How did I miss this? Was I too busy joking around to see they were hurting?”
Heartbreak
imagines you hiding your pain behind laughter
just like he sometimes does
it guts him
Determination
“I’ll be their light. Every day. However they need.”
WHAT HE DOES
Creates a Safe Space
leads you to the practice room floor
sitting cross-legged and patting the spot beside him
“Let’s just… breathe together for a sec.”
mirrors your posture
grounding himself to stay calm for you
Gentle Initiation
slowly reaches for your hand, palm up
= an invitation
“You don’t have to talk. But I’m here. Always.”
Distracts First, Comforts Later
if you tense, he lightens the mood
“Hey, remember when Jin-hyung tripped during the Butter shoot? Classic.”
his eyes stay earnest, waiting for your cue
WHAT HE SAYS
Soft Validation
“You’re so strong, you know that? Like… warrior strong.”
his thumb brushes over your knuckles
avoiding the scars but radiating warmth
Shared Vulnerability
“I get it... feeling like you’ve gotta be ‘on’ all the time. But with me? You can just… be.”
Promise
“However you feel today, tomorrow, forever... I’ll be there. Dancing with you through all of it.”
HOW HE COMFORTS
Physical Reassurance
pulls you into a hug
it's so tight it feels like he’s trying to absorb your pain
rocks you gently
humming “Sweet Dreams” under his breath
Joyful Distractions
shows up the next day with a “Happy Survival Kit”
= silly stickers, banana milk, and a disco ball keychain
“For when the world feels dark. We’ll make our own sparkles.”
Routine Check-Ins
texts you sunrise photos daily
“New day, new Hobi hype! You’ve got this. 💜”



PARK JIMIN
HOW HE NOTICES
during a lazy morning in bed
you’re curled against his chest
his fingers idly tracing patterns on your arm
his touch stills
he grazes a patch of skin that feels uneven under his fingertips
he shifts just enough to see
= cluster of faint, silvery lines you’ve always kept hidden
his breath catches
his hand trembles slightly
doesn’t pull away
Initial Reaction
his eyes widen
lips parting in a silent gasp
tears pool instantly
he blinks hard
biting his lower lip to steady himself
his free hand tightens around yours
= as if anchoring both of you to the moment
WHAT HE THINKS/FEELS
Heartbreak
“You were hurting, and I didn’t know. How did I not know?”
Guilt
sharp pang in his chest
“I should’ve been there”
“I’ll never let you feel that pain again.”
Protectiveness
chest aches with the urge to wrap you in a cocoon of safety
WHAT HE DOES
Fights Tears (And Loses)
presses his forehead to your shoulder
single tear slipping onto your skin
“I’m sorry...”
whispers, voice cracking
“I’m so, so sorry you ever felt this alone.”
Cradles You
gently turns you to face him
hands framing your face like you’re something fragile and sacred
thumbs brush away your tears before tending to his own
Silent Affection
pulls you into his lap
arms locking around you in a hug so tight it steals your breath
his lips press to the crown of your head
"I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
WHAT HE SAYS
Soft Promises
“You’re safe now. Every part of you... every scar, every memory, is safe with me.”
Gentle Questions
“Can I… hold you like this? Always?”
doesn’t ask for details
only for permission to love you through the ache
Raw Honesty
“It hurts to think of you in pain. But I’m proud of you. So proud you’re here, letting me hold you.”
HOW HE COMFORTS
Kisses as Balm
presses feather-light kisses to each scar
his lips trembling
“These don’t own you. You’re the strongest person I know.”
Cuddle Rituals
builds a nest of blankets and pillows
insisting on “us time”
strokes your hair for hours
humming until your heartbeat syncs with his
Affirmation Overload
leaves sticky notes on the mirror
“You’re my hero...” “Your courage takes my breath away.” “I love you exactly as you are.”
EXTRA: ONGOING SUPPORT
Daily Check-Ins
sends sunrise selfies
captions like “Today’s a good day because you’re in it.”
if you’re quiet, he shows up with tteokbokki and a weighted blanket
“No talking needed. Just… let me be here.”
Healing Together
joins you in therapy-approved habits
= yoga at dawn, painting sessions, screaming into the void (his idea)
“However you heal, I’ll be your shadow.”
Guardian of Joy
memorizes your triggers
deflects prying questions from others
becomes your fiercest advocate
“You’re not ‘too much.’ You’re everything.”



KIM TAEHYUNG (V)
HOW HE NOTICES
happens while you’re baking together
you reach for a bag of chocolate chips
sleeve riding up as you stretch. Taehyung
freezes mid-laugh at your joke
eyes lock onto the faint lines trailing your wrist
his wooden spoon clatters into the bowl
= breaking the cozy silence
Initial Reaction
smile fades
replaced by a flicker of raw pain
he doesn’t stare
tho his jaw tightens
hands gripping the countertop like he’s steadying himself
voice uncharacteristically gravelly
“Let’s… take a break, yeah?”
WHAT HE THINKS/FEELS
Anger
hot, helpless rage at the world for hurting you
“Who let this happen? Why didn’t I find you sooner?”
Guilt
“Was I laughing too much? Did I miss the signs?”
Protectiveness
fierce, almost primal urge to shield you from every past and future pain
WHAT HE DOES
Stays Grounded for You
bites back the storm of emotions
focusing on your comfort
takes your hand
calloused thumb brushing your pulse point
“Come sit with me.”
Creates Safe Space
leads you to the couch
wraps a fleece blanket around your shoulders
disappears into the kitchen
returns with two mugs of hot cocoa
piled high with whipped cream and sprinkles
= his go-to comfort ritual
Physical Reassurance
sits close
knees touching yours
doesn’t push
just waits
= his presence a steady anchor
WHAT HE SAYS
Raw Honesty
“I’m mad. Not at you. At everything that made you think this was the only way.”
his voice wavers
tho he holds your gaze
“But I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere.”
Gentle Promises
“You’re mine to protect. Every scar, every secret... I’ll carry them with you.”
Hopeful Affirmation
“You’re the strongest person I know. And I’ll remind you every day until you believe it.”
HOW HE COMFORTS:
Hot Cocoa Ritual
makes it your nightly routine
adds silly marshmallow shapes
learns to carve hearts with a toothpick to make you smile
“Extra sprinkles and love for my warrior.”
Silent Vigilance
starts sleeping with his phone on loud
just in case you text late
“Wake me up. Any time.”
Tangible Acts
buys you soft, long-sleeved pajamas
“For cozy days. Or… whenever you need to feel safe.”



JEON JUNGKOOK
HOW HE NOTICES
during a shared gym session
you’re spotting him during bench presses
sleeves rolled up to stay cool
he racks the weights
his eyes catch the faint lines on your inner arm
sits up abruptly
gaze locked on your skin
you yank your sleeve down
he’s already reaching for your wrist
his touch firm but feather-light
Initial Reaction
his grip tightens instinctively
not to restrain but to ground himself
his jaw clenches
veins in his neck taut
“Baby… what’s this?”
voice is low, strained
= like he’s holding back a storm
WHAT HE THINKS/FEELS
White-Hot Anger
first, it’s rage
not at you
at whoever or whatever made you feel this was the only escape
“I’ll kill them. I’ll end them.”
Guilt
“Why didn’t I see it? Why wasn’t I there?”
Heartbreak
throat burns imagining you alone, hurting
WHAT HE DOES
Stops Everything
abandons the weights, towels, water bottles
focus narrows to you
Guides You to Privacy
leads you to the gym’s empty stretching room
locking the door
sits cross-legged on the mat
tugging you down gently
Silent Examination
turns your arm over
tracing the scars with trembling fingers
his touch lingers on his tattoos nearby
= the ARMY ink on his knuckles
(as if reminding himself you’re his to protect now)
WHAT HE SAYS
Raw Honesty
“Who did this to you? Was it you? Why?”
his voice cracks
tears spilling despite his iron grip on your hand
Fierce Promises
“Never again. You hear me? I’ll fight the world before I let you hurt like that again.”
Soft Pleading
“Talk to me. Please. I’ll listen. I’ll always listen.”
HOW HE COMFORTS
Physical Reassurance
pulls you into his lap
arms locked around you like a shield
lips press to your hair
heartbeat frantic against your back
“You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
Vulnerability Shares
rolls up his own sleeve
showing faded scars he hid under tattoos
“I hated these. Still do. But you… you make me feel like they don’t matter.”
Action Plan
texts his manager cancel his schedule
“We’re staying home. We’ll eat junk food and watch Howl’s Castle. No arguments.”
EXTRA: ONGOING SUPPORT
Bodyguard Mode
becomes hyper-attentive to your moods
if you retreat to the bathroom too long, he’s knocking with a shaky “Baby? Let me in.”
Tangible Reminders
buys you a delicate chain bracelet
“Wear it when you’re scared. Squeeze it, and I’ll know.”
wears a matching one under his sleeve
Late-Night Rituals
learns your favorite lullabies on guitar
plays them when nightmares strike
his voice rough but steady
“You’re not alone. Ever.”
#magicshopstories#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts comfort#bts fluff#bts angst#namjoon scenarios#jin scenarios#yoongi scenarios#suga scenarios#jhope imagines#jimin scenarios#taehyung scenarios#jungkook scenarios#namjoon fluff#jin fluff#suga fluff#yoongi fluff#jimin fluff#jhope fluff#taehyung fluff#jungkook fluff#bts x reader#bts x you#bts x y/n#bts x fem!reader#yoongi imagine#jungkook imagine#bts headcanons#bts requests
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💎Masterlist💎
All my writing can be found on ao3 and there’s no way I’m putting my gigantic stories here 🙈😅
That said, I’ll still put here the list with all my stories and links to find them!
[All my stories have angst - from just a misunderstanding to full-blown out-of-proportion fights 😋]
🔥 » SMUT | 📚 » multichapter | 🎀 » fluff [G- general/T- teen/M-mature/E-explicit]
Series
{ongoing 💜} Soul Palette (Soulmate AU) >> [Masterpost] >> In this soulmate alternate universe, there are no marks, no strings, and no traces to guide them to their other half. But if they listen carefully, destiny is just around the corner patiently waiting to mix them in the soul palette and create universes - together.
✔ SX Seoul >> [Masterpost] >> SX Seoul is a new club in Itaewon. Decorated with neon lights, its cozy and enveloping ambiance will have you living your wildest dreams. Each story is standalone - one per member!
RM
{ongoing 💜} Unique (E) 🔥📚 - OC x idol!NJ - Namjoon dedicated his whole life to being a diligent idol, putting the music and group above his individual needs and desires. He believes he's doing the right thing until an unexpected meeting shifts how he sees the world. But life isn't easy, and even a unique connection can't change fate. Or can it? [Masterpost]
Klartraum (E) 🔥📚 - OC x idol!NJ - Fantasy AU » A story that follows Namjoon as he takes notes of his dreams of you in a dream journal.
Smoke Sprite (M) 🔥 - idol!Namjoon x So!YoON! - A short drabble about the song [Tumblr]
Closer (E) 🔥 - SX Seoul Series » NJ x Reader » Namjoon and you were friends for years — he was your confidant, protector, and haven. You didn’t want to risk it, no matter what, but some things can’t be kept in the dark. [Tumblr]
Jin
Carnation (T)📚 - Soul Palette (Soulmate AU) (1st entry)» OC x idol!SJ » In early 2018, BTS were at a crossroads: after working so hard to set foot in the music industry of South Korea, their sudden jump into stardom became something they never anticipated. Jin believed in his dongsaengs but was just as lost as them when his soulmate entered the picture. [1st chapter - Tumblr]
Break-line (E) 🔥 - SX Seoul Series » Jin x Reader » You’ve been chasing dreams and medals ever since you can remember, with your best friend Seokjin by your side. You thought you had everything you could possibly want — until you find out Jin is keeping a secret from you. [Tumblr]
Suga
Call you mine (E) 🔥📚 - Soul Palette (Soulmate AU) (3rd entry)» OC x idol!YG » A slowburn rejection soulmate story about falling in love with Min Yoongi. [1st chapter - Tumblr]
Sugar Rush Ride (E) 🔥 - SX Seoul Series » YG x Reader » You produced a song based on your hidden desires for your fellow producer and promised yourself that tonight, things would change. You were done pining after him, but then he arrived at the listening party. [Tumblr]
Too Sweet (E) 🔥📚 » You x Demon!YG » Coming from unabashed wealth has its perks — like never having to lift a finger in your life. When that suddenly changes, you end up at a crossroads: how far will you go to have everything you want? [Masterpost]
Stellar Behavior (E) 🔥📚 » Officer!Yoongi x Mafia (f)reader » Yoongi has been in the police force for long enough to know that the system isn’t perfect, so when an injustice is about to put his protégé in jail, he has no other choice but to go to you. You’re the devil, but you’re hard to resist, and he needs to decide between falling into temptation or showing you that two can play the game.[Masterpost]
J-hope
Seeking the sunrise (E) 🔥📚 - Soul Palette (Soulmate AU) (2nd entry)» OC x idol!HS » No one needs a soulmate to have love, right? [1st Chapter - Tumblr]
Adage (E) 🔥 - SX Seoul Series » HS x (f)Reader » You have an exclusive interview with the event coordinator of SX Seoul, who happens to be your teenage crush. [Tumblr]
Moving On (E) 🔥» HS x (f)Reader » All you wanted was to help your best friend move in with her fiancé, Jin — you just didn't know putting up with Hoseok came with the deal. And now there's only one bed. [Tumblr]
Jimin
Dress (E) 🔥 - OC x idol!JM » After pining for years, she has reached her breaking point — and it started with a dress. [Reader version - Tumblr]
Like Crazy (E) 🔥 - SX Seoul Series » JM x Reader » You let your desires run wild and things got too far while figuring out the choreography for Jimin’s next single. You thought it was best to pretend it never happened, but he decided to chase you, hoping to set things right. [Tumblr]
Down Bad (E) 🔥🩸 - Vampire!Jimin x human(f)reader » You find the cure to your clumsiness in becoming Jimin’s dance partner. But twirling in his arms risks more than just your heart, especially after he bites you. [Part 1][Part 2]
V
Love Crumbs (M) 📚 - OC x Office!Tae - Office AU » Quinn’s plans were simple: win that promotion and maybe have a little fun on the side. Taehyung was in love with someone else, but that wasn’t an issue. It’s a shame things are never really that simple. [1st Chapter - Tumblr]
A woman's best friend (E) 🔥 - Tae x (f) reader » When you met, you and Taehyung hit it off instantly, becoming the closest of friends. You thought he was off limits, meanwhile, he’s been begging for a chance to put an end to your friendship. [Part 1][Part 2]
Paramour (E) 🔥 - SX Seoul Series » Tae x (f) reader » You were born for the quick and glamorous life surrounding celebrities — they had their little dramas and breakdowns, and you were there to clean up the mess. But you have your own secret, and doing your job might get you in trouble with your paramour. [Tumblr]
My Demon, My Love (E) 🔥📚 » Demon!Tae x human (f) reader » All Taehyung wanted was business as usual — strike a deal, claim a soul, and enjoy dessert. But somehow, he ended up powerless, with no choice but to ask for your help. [Part 1][Part 2][Part 3]
Jungkook
Far Cry (E)🔥📚 - OC x idol!JK - Lost AU » After barely escaping captivity, Jungkook is lost in a jungle on an unknown island with an injured Namjoon and an amnesiac girl. [1st Chapter - Tumblr] ➡ snippets
Standing Next to You (M) 🔥 - You x Demon!JK - MV based » JK is a lust demon — a powerful being that inflames desires at the simplest glance. That is his nature and all there is to his existence. Until there was you. [Tumblr]
Bubbles (E) 🔥📚 - SX Seoul Series » JK x Reader » You’re back in town and your first stop in a night out with friends is a new club: SX Seoul. You had no plans, but when you see your ex, everything changes. - [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]
How to Choose a Valentine (T) 🎀 - reader x idol!JK » Who knew the best company for Valentine’s Day would be a lovely Doberman? And who knew he’d get you a Valentine? Well, sort of. [Tumblr]
Be as it must (E) 🔥📚 » Alpha!Jungkook x Omega(f)reader » It’s hard being an omega in a world where they've all but disappeared, but you're safe as long as you stay under the radar. What happens when you're found and taken to your boss, CEO Jeon Jungkook?[Masterpost]
Make It Right (E) 🔥📚 » idol!JK x (f)readed » After the last concert in Busan, Jungkook decides to stay at his parents' and make the best of that pause. He never dreamed he would have the chance to meet you again, but now that he has, he won't give up. This is his chance to make things right. [Part 1][Part 2]
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☆last update: 17/10/2024
☆a/n: here is my new masterlist! It's going to be... a lot better than the old one hahaha. Please don't hesitate to send an ask if you want to talk. Fyi, requests are closed at the moment, so please do not send any! I always feel bad when I have to say no to your requests haha
masterlist guide
☆a for angst | s for smut | f for fluff
☆all the content on this masterlist is 18+ so minors, please DNI
☆warnings are on each series/fic directly, not here so please check them out!
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All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2022-2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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as you all know, I mostly post for BTS so here are each of the members' masterlist! In here you can find all one-shots, series, milestone celebrations (you can find the link to the prompt list for the celebrations on each one-shot) that I have written for BTS.
EMOTIONS OF THE SOUL | a, s, f | one-shot when Namjoon reappears in your life after thirteen years of absence, you find yourself unsure of what he means to you, and of what you mean to him. Anxiety reigns over you, but will it be enough to drag you away from Kim Namjoon? ➳Namjoon's instalment of the Life Goes On series
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CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION | s | one-shot Request!! Could you do 98 on the smut list with namjoon and reader? Maybe he wants to try getting fingered and is a little embarrassed because he’s normally in charge or something? Wherever your inspiration takes you!❤️❤️❤️ ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
FOREVER | a, s, f | one-shot three years ago, your relationship with jin ended in fights and tears. When life puts him back on your path, you catch a glimpse of light in his eyes that you thought had died when you broke up. Will your relationship blossom into a well-deserved forever or will you lose the love of your life again? ➳Seokjin's instalment of the Life Goes On series
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SWEET | a, f, s | one-shot Congratulations on the milestone ! Can we get a Drabble of idol Jin coming back from the military and trying to sort out his situationship with the girl he left behind when he went into the military? ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
NOW WE REIGN | a, s, f | one-shot when working on a collab together makes you and Min Yoongi seek comfort with the other, you discover there’s more to life than loneliness. Only, hurdles mark your path in Min Yoongi’s life, and it’s unclear what the outcome will be. Will you be destroyed by him and his world, or will you learn to reign over it, together with him? ➳Yoongi's instalment of the Life Goes On series
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SINFUL LUST | a, s, a bit of f | series in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...
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THE WORST COWORKER YOU'VE EVER HAD | s | one-shot Ooooh how about a little enemies to ? Smut with Yoongi where OC/reader makes him come his pants? Little sassy/angry/ bratty vibes? Prompt 58 from the smut list? Feel free to adjust however inspires you!! Love your work!! ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
TWO HUNDRED AND NINETEEN DAYS | a, f | one-shot Ella! Congrats on your milestone, you deserve it! Can I request this one from the fluff list, with Hobi please? 23. “I fell for you without even knowing it and, jesus, does it hurt that you can’t see it.” ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU | a, f, s | one-shot moving to Seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is Park Jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. Will the reality of Park Jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream? ➳Jimin's instalment of the Life Goes On series
CRAZY FOR YOU | s, a, f | one-shot you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse? ➳Taehyung's instalment of the Life Goes On series
THE BOY WITH GALAXIES IN HIS EYES | s, a, f | one-shot you had never thought the night sky could be found in someone’s eyes. That is, until you met Jeon Jungkook and his gravity pulled you in. Will he crush you with the galaxies in his eyes, or will you learn to explore his worlds and make them yours? ➳Jungkook's instalment of the Life Goes On series THE FIRST TIME | s | drabble ➳a The Boy with Galaxies in His Eyes story
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SINFUL LUST | a, s, a bit of f | series in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...
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THE FORGOTTEN SPACES | a, s, f | series you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you? ➳sequel of What Was Hidden, a Taehyung fic written by @daechwitatamicrecs
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WHEN THE END COMES | a, s, f | series seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook? ➳The Forgotten Spaces' sequel
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NOVEMBER SUN | a | one-shot whenever he breaks, the november sun shines on him. and jungkook chases you across the sky - but you've gone some place he can't reach you now.
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TO GIVE A HELPING HAND | s, a, f | series ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 you’re a fan, you're untouchable, yet Jungkook finds he’s far too attracted to you.
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CHASING CARS | s, a, f | series when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
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COFFEE STAIN | a | one-shot you grief, and it’s the expression of your everlasting love for Jungkook.
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WHAT'S WRONG? | a, f | one-shot hii i have an angsty drabble request for jk x reader pleasee but with a happy ending :) Reader overhears Jungkook talk to his friends and mention how she’s always clinging on to him and doesn’t let him breathe sometimes and that she’s annoying because she’s too loud and energetic. When he comes back home she acts the complete opposite and tries to avoid him without letting him know what’s going on, until he realises that he actually prefers her clingy and loud🥺 Sorry if i went into too much detail ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
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THE BANE OF YOUR EXISTENCE | s, a | one-shot A drabble with jungkook, smut 87 and angst 12 / 99, tysm 💘💘💘💘 ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
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THE COINCIDENCE OF FATE | f | one-shot Hey!!! Do u think u could make an JJK FF about two people falling in love bc of fate and coincidences? ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
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LET ME KISS YOUR MOM | f | one-shot Okay so I saw this pic and almost cried cuz he looks so sweet and happy! Could I get something fluffy about dad jk? Maybe yall went surprise him at a performance or shoot or u can make up something else just the vibes I got from this pic made me (please see the post for the pic) ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY | a, f | one-shot In that case I’ll request jungkook x oc with angst and fluff❤️🩹 He forgets her birthday😭😭 ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
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UNEXPECTED MESSAGE | s | one-shot
I would like to read a smut fic with little bit of plot where it involves girl x girl x jungkook. Pls there aren't many fics on this. Congrats and take care Stay healthy ➳part of a follower milestone celebration
I do not have a lot of skz fics so I don't have much to say except that I hope you enjoy it <3
ALWAYS BEEN YOU | a, f | one-shot when two estranged best friends meet again at their friends' wedding, an old spark reignites. You swear to yourself that you won't fall for Hyunjin again, until alcohol blurs the line between you two. Is it your fault if you find yourself drowning in the familiarity that is him?
and last but not least, here are my ateez fics! hope you guys enjoy these ones just as much as you enjoyed the rest <3
LOVE IS A LASERQUEST | a, s | one-shot years after your break-up, Choi San comes to you for help. In an attempt to save his life, you escape to your uncle's cabin in the woods far from civilization. Will nostalgia and longing make you fall again, or is Choi San just spinning more lies to you?
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BE WITH YOU | s, a, f | series coming soon
you've come to the end of my masterlist. if you have any questions, or want to discuss any of my fics, don't hesitate to send an ask!
#masterlist#bts fic#jungkook fic#namjoon fic#seokjin fic#hoseok fic#jimin fic#yoongi fic#taehyung fic#stray kids#hyunjin fic#ateez#san fic#bts angst#bts smut#bts fluff#stray kids angst#stray kids fluff#ateez angst#ateez smut#ateez fluff
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— Rest, Relax, Reserve ⊹ Series M.List
⭔ : Welcome in! Here at the Humbolt Insect Hybrid Conservation Park, we implore all of our guests to experience the wonderful world of hybrids living in their natural habitats! Feel free to interact with any hybrids that may approach you— however, please keep in mind that this is a no-touch park, these are wild animals after all. Please stay safe, stick to the trails, and enjoy your stay!
Please note: we are not responsible for any risks associated with entering our parks. Keep this in mind when exploring.

Information Board
⭔ : warning! most stories on this list are yandere-themed, meaning they may have elements of dark content in them. all have mature content within them as well. please read all warnings before reading each one!
⭔ : a/n! this series has spawned from my entomology class this semester! so enjoy a lot of useless facts about arthropods while falling in love with hybrid bts <33
⭔ : status! ongoing -> last update: Chasing Tornados

Looking for a sneak peak of the stories? Click here!


Kim Seokjin
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: blue morpho butterfly
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, lepidoptera
-> information this species not found! check back later?

Chasing Tornados ⊹ Min Yoongi
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: fattail scorpion
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, arachnida, scorpiones
-> Ever since you were young, you found solstice in the clouds. Found haven in their winding winds, their chilling storms. Monsters of the air meant to destroy became your love— your safety. You know everything about the skies, yet you only want to know more about him. Wish for him to love you just as much as you do him. Your best friend. Your scorpion. Your impossible. Your Yoongi.

Jung Hoseok
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: warrior wasp
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, hymenoptera
-> information this species not found! check back later?

Kim Namjoon
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: honey bee
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, hymenoptera
-> information this species not found! check back later?

The Pitfalls of Silk ⊹ Park Jimin
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: cobalt blue tarantula
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, arachnida, aranea
-> The winter gods are out to get you. That could be the only possible explanation for the series of bad luck tumbling before you— tropical vacation cancelled, snow locking you inside. Hell, even your shovel broken in half has got to be the gods playing some sort of trick on you. Pulling you along, making decisions for you as they guide you along the red string of fate. Guide you towards the very spider that found his way into your basement. Allowing him to fall into your heart all the same.
— bites: 01

Kim Taehyung
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: domestic silk moth
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, lepidoptera
-> coming soon . . .

Jeon Jungkook
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ species: black garden ant
⊹ ׁ ݂┊ ⭔ classification: arthropoda, insecta, hymenoptera
-> information this species not found! check back later?

⭔ : disclaimer: all members of bts are face and name claims for all works on this blog. the pieces on this blog are entirely fictional and are in no way meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. any representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.
© all rights reserved to ctrlhope 2019-2024 ; do not copy, plagiarise, or translate.

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CODE : EPITAPH
-˚ a story about blood debts, survival instincts & the cost of hatred when the world's already dead ˚-

"The only thing worse than sharing your blood with the enemy is knowing that for you to live, he has to die. And the only thing worse than that? Not being sure which outcome you actually want."

˚ ✧ quick links ✧ ˚
read on ao3
read on wattpad
read author intro and TWs (MUST)

˚ ✧ synopsis ✧ ˚
In a world ravaged by the Veris virus, the Consortium created the Epitaph System—a brutal solution to save what remains of humanity through genetic matching and blood transfusion. One match lives. One dies.
You’ve spent your life hacking systems and surviving in the shadows of Veyrah's broken sectors. Namjoon has spent his perfecting the algorithm that keeps the last fragments of civilization alive. When you're identified as a 100% match—unprecedented, dangerous, perfect—the clock starts ticking.
60 days until one of you dies.
60 days forced together across war-torn sectors, completing missions, dodging assassins, and fighting rebel factions—including your own.
60 days to despise the person whose blood might save you.
You hate him for creating the system that executed your parents. He loathes you for threatening the fragile order he's sacrificed everything to maintain.
But as the broken world around you continues to crumble, you might both discover something far more destructive than hatred.
Understanding.

✧ details ✧
main ship: namjoon x f!reader side ships: taehyung x f!reader (past), yoongi x f!reader, 2seok, taegi, bts x ocs genre: ANGST in capital letters, dystopian sci-fi, enemies to lovers, slow burn with teeth, pure raw hatred (and i mean i wanna kill you), bleak world building, gritty, oppression rating: explicit (18+ only) words: 11k/? chapters: 2/40 status: ongoing

˚ ✧ chapter guide ✧ ˚
early access + snippets
➳ #01 | snippet #1
volume one: genetic matches & mutual threats
➳ #01 | perfect match, death protocol ➳ #02 | valis core ➳ #03 | ➳ #04 | ➳ #05 | ➳ #06 | ➳ #07 | ➳ #08 | ➳ #09 | ➳ #10 | ➳ #11 | ➳ #12 |
volume two: violent patterns
➳ #13 | ➳ #14 | ➳ #15 | ➳ #16 | ➳ #17 | ➳ #18 | ➳ #19 | ➳ #20 | ➳ #21 | ➳ #22 | ➳ #23 | ➳ #24 | ➳ #25 |
volume three: cracking foundation
➳ #26 | ➳ #27 | ➳ #28 | ➳ #29 | ➳ #30 | ➳ #31 | ➳ #32 | ➳ #33 | ➳ #34 | ➳ #35 |
volume four: revolution & revelation
➳ #36 | ➳ #37 | ➳ #38 | ➳ #39 | ➳ #40 |
BEFORE THE MATCH
➳ cipher's first raid ➳ warden's algorithm [WIP] ➳ shroud initiation ➳ consortium academy (young namjoon) ➳ black market exchange (seokjin's debut)
THE BROKEN SECTORS
➳ valis core protocol breach ➳ the first veris outbreak ➳ mournwell uprising ➳ virex shard sabotage ➳ collapsed pulse rail
TRANSFERENCE RECORDS
➳ subject file: jimin ➳ subject file: yoongi & redacted ➳ consortium calculations
HIDDEN HISTORIES
➳ cipher's parents: execution logs ➳ warden's lost sibling ➳ red verge manifesto ➳ the chain ceremony ➳ pulse transmission: final hour
Key:
Regular titles: upcoming chapters
[WIP]: fragments currently being written
Strikethrough: future content & concept ideas
Read order: chronological by volume, fragments can be read anytime

✧ content includes ✧
♡ explicit sexual content ♡ graphic violence and medical procedures ♡ power dynamics & psychological warfare ♡ dystopian brutality & survival horror ♡ alien world physics & non-earth environments ♡ body horror related to virus and transference ♡ dubious ethical choices in apocalyptic scenarios ♡ enemies-to-lovers with emphasis on the enemies ♡ blood bond dynamics

˚ ✧ extras ✧ ˚
✧ playlists:
code : epitaph - the soundtrack
songs that play in the citadel and drive yn crazy
✧ code : epitaph art: drawings ✧ pinterest: aesthetic & vibes ✧ moodboards: characters | relationships ✧ location maps: veyrah sectors
• consortium territories
• the verge wastes ✧ tidbits/headcanons: #c:etidbits ✧ quotes/favorite lines: [coming soon]

˚ ✧ disclaimer ✧ ˚
please be reminded that members are purely used with visual purposes. this is a work of fiction merely written for entertainment purposes.

© jungkoode 2025 | my partner for the maps (code)
no reposts, translations, or adaptations
#namjoon x reader#namjoon x you#namjoon fanfic#namjoon fic#namjoon smut#namjoon fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts fic#bts x you#bts x reader#bts angst#bts fluff#bts smut#slow burn#dystopian AU#jungkoode#code : epitaph#c:e
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Stars We Never Caught | jhs

— summary: At eleven, you met Hoseok. He was your older brother’s best friend, and for years, he was a constant in your world. Growing up alongside him, with Yoongi, your brother, and the rest of your crew, you never imagined that anything would ever change. Hoseok felt like family—always there but never quite a brother. It was a strange kind of closeness, one that never quite fit into the lines of what you understood.
But as you grew older, things started to shift. You got caught up in your own life, distracted by the swirl of adulthood. Now, back in Seoul, you find yourself drawn back to him. Whether it’s fate or coincidence, Hoseok is still there, and you can’t shake the pull that you’ve buried for so long. But perhaps some things are never meant to be—some stars are never meant to be caught, no matter how brightly they shine or are they?
— playlist: what was that - lorde, ribs - lorde, panic - beomgyu, wildest dreams - taylor swift, i need u (urban mix) - bts, run (ballad mix) - bts, cigarette daydreams - cage the elephant, the less i know the better - tame impala, 0x1 love song - txt, writer in the dark - lorde, somebody else - the 1975, your dog - soccer mommy + every mitski album.
— word count: 24.4k for this part—this is a long one shot like around 60k for the full thing and the tumblr editor hates me so we'll have like 4 parts of this
— warnings: angst, longing, yearning, deep Yearn (I meant this), pinning (sorry), slow really slow burn (I meant this), brother's best friend, coming of age, yoongi being a big bro (we love you yoongles), overthinking, lots of inner monologue, growing pains in your 20s, adulthood being a pain in the ass, lots of deep talks, tension... so much tension (shit goes wrong or not....) OKAY, now onto other warnings: sweet love making—then horny people being horny people because they're deep in feelings but freaky as hell: big dick! hobi, f! m! masturbation, sex with feelings™, strenght kink, hickeys, HICKEYS, biting, deep throathing, choking, missionary, manhandling?
please, check the end notes in part four
part 2 | part 3 | part 4

When you met Hoseok, it wasn’t fate or magic—it was more like a random glitch in the universe. Ironic, really. He’d somehow managed to get lost in your tiny house, wandering around like it was a maze instead of a modest three-bedroom.
“Hey, kiddo, where’s the bathroom?” he asked, peeking into the living room with that same bright-eyed grin that would someday undo you.
You were eleven, stubborn, and already suspicious of anyone who called you kiddo. You stared up at him, unimpressed, then pointed to the door literally right beside him.
“Right there,” you said flatly. “Congrats, big guy. You survived the great labyrinth.”
He blinked, looked at the door, then at you again. “Guess I needed a guide.”
“You need glasses,” you muttered under your breath, but he just laughed like you’d told the funniest joke in the world.
“I’m guessing you’re Yoongi’s sister,” he said, squinting at you like you were a puzzle missing the picture on the box.
You didn’t bother to smile. Just crossed your arms and gave him the most unimpressed look an eleven-year-old could possibly summon. “Touché,” you replied, dry as ever.
He blinked, clearly not expecting sass from someone half his height. Maybe he thought you’d be shy or starstruck. Instead, you stared him down like he owed you rent.
“Wow,” he said, a chuckle slipping out. “You really are Yoongi’s sister.”
You tilted your head, slow and judgmental. “And you really got lost in a house with three rooms. That takes talent.”
He laughed—full-on, like you were the best thing that had happened to him all day. “Okay, okay. You got me. Note to self: don’t underestimate the small ones.”
“Good. Because I bite,” you said, deadpan.
He looked mildly alarmed for half a second before grinning even wider. “Duly noted.”
Just as Hoseok opened his mouth to say something else—probably another attempt at recovering from your verbal jab—Yoongi’s voice echoed from down the hall.
“Hobi, did you fall into the toilet or what?”
You smirked.
Hoseok turned toward the hallway. “I got a little… turned around.”
Yoongi appeared a second later, already wearing that look of brotherly exasperation. “How the hell did you get lost? The bathroom’s literally right there.”
“I told him,” you chimed in, hands on your hips like you’d just saved the day. “But apparently, he needs a map. Or a chaperone.”
Yoongi shot you a look, but there was no real heat behind it. “Don’t encourage her,” he told Hoseok, but you could see the faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Hoseok held his hands up. “Hey, I’m just trying to survive here. She’s got your attitude, but, like—weaponized.”
You looked up at Yoongi. “You bring home lost puppies now?”
Yoongi groaned. “He’s not a puppy, he’s a person. Unfortunately.”
But Hoseok just laughed, shoulders shaking. “Nah, she’s cool. Sharp tongue, too. She’s gonna be dangerous when she grows up.”
You didn’t know it then, but that was the first compliment from him you’d ever remember. And years later, you’d still feel the echo of it every time he looked at you like you were the only one in the room.

You were twelve when you realized Jung Hoseok had become a permanent fixture in your family—not out of necessity, but because he simply belonged.
He had parents. A home. A life separate from yours. But he was the kind of person who attached himself to the people he cared about like it was the most natural thing in the world. Loud and vibrant, always quick to laugh, Hoseok moved into your everyday like sunlight slipping through the blinds—quiet, warm, and impossible to ignore.
No one questioned it. He had a seat at your dinner table, his shoes in the entryway, his jokes echoing through your house more days than not. He and Yoongi were inseparable. And somehow, without you noticing, you’d become part of that orbit too.
It didn’t feel strange anymore.
You were twelve too when you started to understand something you couldn’t name yet. And it happened, like most things in your life lately, by accident.
It was a weekend night, the kind where Hoseok and Yoongi holed up in your brother’s room with snacks and open windows and music low enough not to wake your mom. You were passing by the door—okay, lingering near it—when Hoseok’s voice floated out.
“She kissed me first, but… I kept thinking about it afterward.”
You stopped. Not for the first time that week, Hoseok sounded different. Not in a bad way. Just—older.
“I mean,” he continued, “I didn’t feel weird about it. Just… curious. Like, is it supposed to feel like that? Or is that just me being a guy?”
Yoongi let out a quiet snort. “It is you being a guy. But it’s not a bad thing.”
There was a beat.
“It’s not about sex or whatever,” Hoseok said. “I just—I like her. I think I do. But I don’t know what I’m doing. Like, where’s the line between just liking someone and wanting more?”
Yoongi’s voice was softer now. “That’s what growing up is, Hobi. Figuring out what your more is. You’re allowed to want things. You just gotta want them with respect. With clarity.”
“I don’t want to mess it up,” Hoseok murmured. “She’s not just someone I kissed. It’s more like… I want to hold her hand and not let go until she wants me to. That sounds dumb, right?”
“No,” Yoongi said. “That sounds honest.”
You didn’t mean to stay and listen. But you also couldn’t walk away. Because that Hoseok—the one whose voice cracked a little when he talked about someone he liked, who sounded half-nervous and half-hopeful, who admitted to wanting and not knowing—that Hoseok wasn’t just the boy who made up dances in your living room and teased you about your choice in cereal.
He was a guy. A real, living, breathing boy, standing on the edge of something big. Not perfect. Not polished. But real in a way that made your chest feel strange.
Later, you found him in the hallway, stretching his arms over his head. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?” he asked with a smile.
You shrugged. “Shouldn’t you?”
“Touche,” he said, then tapped your head gently with his knuckles. “Your brain never turns off, huh?” You gave him a look. “Takes one to know one.”
He grinned at that, all bright teeth and dimpled cheekbones. For a second, it was just Hoseok again—the one you’d always known.
But something had shifted. Just a little.
"Keep being brilliant, star."
You didn’t know why your face got hot, or why your chest tightened just a little. Maybe it was the way he said it so casually, like he hadn’t just branded a memory into your mind that you wouldn’t be able to shake. You mumbled something back, pretending it was no big deal. Pretending you didn’t already know, deep down, that you’d remember it forever.

It was one of those nights at your house, the kind where everyone was sprawled out in mismatched pajamas, the dim light from the TV flickering softly as a random movie played in the background. The air was heavy with laughter, chatter, and the scent of snacks, but it felt like time was stretching out—suspended, almost.
You had all crammed into Yoongi’s room — yes, you too, despite his half-hearted protests that Hoseok always overruled with a grin and an arm slung around your shoulders, claiming you were “officially part of the crew.” (Yoongi never really meant it anyway. If he had, he would’ve locked the door.)
The night blurred into snapshots — pillows flying through the air, laughter loud and untamed, the stupid kind of jokes that only made sense when you were too young to care about looking cool. The music was ridiculous, some weird mix Yoongi had found online, but Hoseok and Yoongi still danced to it anyway, competing over who could come up with the worst moves.
You sat cross-legged by the dresser, half-watching, half-sinking into the warmth of the room, your cheek pressed against your knee. Hoseok was at the foot of the bed, laughing so hard he nearly tipped over, and you swore you could feel his laugh vibrate through the floor, through the air, through you. It filled the space in a way that made you feel safe. Seen. Like maybe you belonged here too, if only because he made it feel that way.
It was strange, how natural it all felt. How Hoseok fit. Not just in Yoongi’s room. In your life.
At twelve, you didn’t know why your chest squeezed tight when Hoseok caught your eye across the room, or why your stomach flipped when he grinned like you were in on some private joke no one else could hear. You didn’t know why you wanted to memorize the way his hair stuck up in messy tufts, the way his laugh curled around the syllables of your name.
You just knew it mattered. Even if you couldn’t explain why.
“Hey, kid,” Hoseok said, nudging you with his elbow, his voice low and soft, like he didn’t want anyone else to hear. "You good?"
You blinked, startled out of your thoughts, pulling your knees closer like you could hide behind them. "Yeah," you said, too quickly, the word barely a breath.
He looked at you for a beat longer than necessary, head tilted slightly, a small crease between his brows like he didn’t quite believe you.
“You sure?” he asked, quieter now, the teasing edge slipping away. “You’ve been kinda quiet tonight.”
You wanted to tell him it was nothing. That you were just tired, like you always said when you didn’t have the words for the heavy, shapeless thing sitting in your chest. You shrugged instead. "Yeah. Just tired."
Hoseok smiled, easy and warm, and something in you unraveled a little.
“You know, Yoongi always says you’re an old soul,” he said, bumping your shoulder with his, his voice dropping into a conspiratorial whisper. “I think you’re just trying to act cool.”
You huffed, the barest hint of a smile tugging at your lips. “I’m not acting cool. I just… don’t talk when I’m stuck with two idiots.”
Yoongi, catching only the tail end of the insult, scoffed from across the room. “Please. You’re the dramatic one. I deserve a medal for surviving you.”
You grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at his head without thinking. Yoongi retaliated instantly, and just like that, the room filled with the sound of laughter and flying pillows once again.
But even as you shouted and ducked for cover, even as you pretended to be annoyed at Yoongi, you could hear Hoseok’s laugh, steady and golden, threading through the noise like music only you could hear. It wrapped around you, soft and aching. It made you want things you didn’t have the language for yet.
Later, when the chaos burned itself out and the room sank into a heavy, comfortable silence, you caught him again — Hoseok, leaning against the wall, head tipped back, eyes tracing invisible patterns on the ceiling. Gone was the teasing, the bright-eyed energy. There was something almost fragile in him now, like he carried a thousand thoughts he didn’t know how to say out loud.
You watched him through half-lidded eyes, pretending you were too tired to notice. Pretending you weren’t memorizing him all over again. The soft rise and fall of his chest. The way his hand twitched restlessly against his knee, like his body couldn’t quite sit still even when his mind drifted somewhere far away.
It hurt. In a small, stupid way, it hurt — wanting to reach out, wanting to stay frozen in this exact moment forever, wanting something you didn’t even have a name for yet.
And somewhere deep inside, you understood: Some part of you would spend the rest of your life chasing this feeling. This night. This boy.
You closed your eyes and let the moment etch itself into you, down to the bone. Knowing even then that you would never really forget.
You sat there, in your pajamas, suddenly aware of how much his presence filled the space around you, how his easy grin and loud laughter had always been there, woven into the fabric of your life.
“Are you awake?” he asked, voice soft, like he wasn’t sure if he should disturb the quiet. You weren’t sure if he was talking to you or just to the room in general, but you answered anyway.
“I’m awake,” you whispered, unsure why your voice felt so small.
Hoseok looked over at you, his smile softening into something... different. Something you couldn’t quite place. "Good."
He didn’t say anything else, and you didn’t either. You could feel the space between you stretch and stretch, an invisible line that you didn’t know how to cross. You just stayed there, side by side, the weight of all the unspoken things hanging in the air.
When he stood to go, he ruffled your hair one last time, and it stung more than it usually did. “Goodnight, star.”
You didn’t reply right away. You just watched him walk out of the room, the sound of his footsteps echoing in the hallway, and suddenly, everything felt too quiet. Too still.
It was the first time you realized that you weren’t just waiting for him to notice you. You were waiting for something else. Something you didn’t know how to name.
And years later, when you looked back at that night, at the way Hoseok’s smile lingered a little longer than it had to, you’d ache for it. For the way you had no idea what you were feeling then, how you hadn’t known that it was already too late to go back to the way things were before.
The room had quieted even more now, the world outside feeling a million miles away. Yoongi was already half-asleep, his head tipped against the headboard, mumbling nonsense under his breath.
You stayed curled up by the dresser, feeling the heaviness of your own body sinking deeper into the carpet. You could hear your own breathing, soft and even, but more than that — you could hear Hoseok shifting, the quiet shuffle of him moving closer.
You didn’t dare open your eyes, too afraid the moment would break.
A hand brushed lightly through your hair, feather-light, so careful you almost thought you dreamed it. Then Hoseok’s voice, rough with sleep, low and barely-there:
"Get some rest, star. You’re gonna outshine us all someday."
You bit the inside of your cheek to keep the sudden, stinging heat from spilling out. You didn’t move. Didn’t answer. Just let yourself pretend — for one night — that he saw you the way you saw him.
Somewhere between one heartbeat and the next, his hand lingered against your hair just a second too long before slipping away. The last thing you heard before sleep pulled you under was the faintest sound of his breath — a sigh, almost a wish — drifting into the quiet.

You were turning thirteen when things got somewhat serious — and not. Deep conversations were starting to be your thing. Funny.
You found Yoongi out on the back steps, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, a hoodie pulled over his head even though it wasn’t cold. The kind of night that smelled like rain and damp earth, thick with the kind of silence that made your chest feel tight.
You hesitated for a second, your bare toes curling against the cool floor. Then you padded over and dropped down beside him, close enough that your shoulders brushed.
Yoongi didn’t look at you. Didn’t have to.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked, voice low and rough, like he'd been sitting there a while.
You shook your head, picking at the frayed edge of your pajama sleeve. "You either?"
He gave a humorless laugh, soft and tired. "Yeah. Guess not."
You sat in the quiet together for a long time. The kind of quiet that didn’t need to be filled.
It wasn’t weird. It never was with him. He was always just... there. Solid. Even when the rest of the world felt like it was shifting under your feet.
Maybe that was why you were so restless lately. It felt like everyone was expecting something from you — parents with their questions about school, teachers who suddenly wanted you to plan your future, even your friends who already seemed to know who they wanted to be. You didn’t know. You weren’t sure you even knew yourself yet. And somehow, it already felt like you were falling behind.
"You ever feel like..." you started, then trailed off, cheeks burning. Stupid. He probably thought you were being dramatic again.
But Yoongi just waited, like he had all the time in the world.
"...Like you’re supposed to be someone," you mumbled finally. "But you don't even know who yet. And it’s like — it’s like you’re already failing at it."
The words fell out, heavy and clumsy, but real.
Yoongi finally turned to look at you, his eyes shadowed under the hood. And then, without saying anything, he reached out and flicked your forehead, gentle but firm.
"You're thirteen," he said, voice a little rough. "You don’t have to have it figured out."
You scowled, rubbing the spot he flicked. "Yeah, well. It feels like I do."
Yoongi smiled — small, crooked, the kind of smile he only gave you when no one else was around.
"Listen," he said, bumping his knee against yours. "You don't have to be anything yet. You’re allowed to just... be a mess for a while. You hear me, kid?"
You made a face at him, and he ruffled your hair so hard you nearly toppled over.
But then he pulled you into a headlock — gentle, loose — and you realized he was hugging you. Sort of.
The way Yoongi did when he didn’t have the words either.
"You’re already my favorite person," he said, so soft you almost didn’t catch it. "Even if you’re a mess."
Your throat closed up. You buried your face against his arm and didn’t answer.
You didn’t have to. He already knew.
Maybe that was why you missed it at first — the way his arm stayed around you just a second longer than it needed to. The way his shoulders, usually so loose and careless, felt a little too tense under your cheek.
Maybe you would only realize it later. How Yoongi, seventeen and already carrying more than he let you see, had needed to hear those same words just as much as you had.
But that night, you were just a kid, safe in the only place that didn’t expect you to be anything more.
And Yoongi? Yoongi just sat there, holding you tighter, like he wasn’t quite ready to let go either.
Later, you'd wonder if Yoongi had been talking to himself just as much as to you.
It was the night before Hoseok's sixteenth birthday, and somehow you found yourselves sprawled out on the living room floor — you, Hoseok, and Yoongi — passing a half-eaten bag of chips back and forth while a terrible movie played on TV.
The kind of night that felt like it could stretch on forever if you just didn't move. If you just stayed.

You didn’t even realize you were watching Hoseok more than the movie until you caught the way he was fiddling with the hem of his hoodie, like he had something he wanted to say.
"Hey," Hoseok said suddenly, glancing over at Yoongi. "Can I ask you something?"
Yoongi grunted, not looking up from his phone. "When have you ever waited for permission?"
Hoseok grinned, but there was a nervous edge to it. He glanced once at you — quick, like he wasn’t sure if he should say it — then back at Yoongi.
"It's just... I dunno. Kinda dumb."
Yoongi set his phone down with an exaggerated sigh. "Out with it, idiot."
You hugged your knees to your chest, pretending you weren’t hanging onto every word.
Hoseok shifted, running a hand through his hair.
"Have you ever kissed someone?"
The question hung there, heavy, making your heart thump a little too hard against your ribs.
Yoongi barked out a laugh. "Seriously? That’s what you’re asking?"
"Shut up," Hoseok muttered, shoving his shoulder. "I mean — like — what’s it supposed to feel like? The first time."
You stared hard at the TV, pretending you weren’t listening.
Yoongi leaned back against the couch, smirking a little. "Depends. Was it good or did you both just bump noses and freak out?"
Hoseok groaned. "Not helpful."
"First ones are usually bad," Yoongi said, sounding too casual. "You figure it out."
You could feel Hoseok squirming beside you, the way his leg kept jiggling against the carpet.
"I kissed someone," Hoseok blurted. "Last weekend. Kinda."
Your chest squeezed so tight it hurt.
"Oh?" Yoongi raised a brow. "Kinda?"
"It was just a stupid dare thing," Hoseok rushed to say, looking vaguely embarrassed. "Doesn't count, right?"
Yoongi snorted. "Still a kiss, dumbass."
You didn’t say anything. Didn’t trust yourself to. The words stuck somewhere behind your teeth, thick and aching.
You wished you could laugh it off too. Wished it didn’t feel like you’d swallowed something sharp and bitter.
Hoseok glanced at you again, sheepish. "Not a big deal, Star," he said, nudging your shoulder with his. Like he could sense you withdrawing without even realizing why.
You managed a weak smile. "Yeah. Not a big deal."
But it was. It was.
You were thirteen, and you didn’t have the words for it yet. Didn’t know how to say that you already felt the world tilting — already felt him slipping just a little out of reach.
And Hoseok, still laughing, still right there beside you, didn’t realize he was breaking your heart.
Not yet.
After the conversation about kisses — the one that made your chest feel tight and your breath shaky — the night carried on like nothing had changed. You could still hear Hoseok’s easy laugh. Could still feel his presence next to you, warm and constant.
But somehow, it felt a little quieter. A little farther away.
You weren’t sure if it was just in your head or if something was really shifting. But when Hoseok threw an arm around you later, like he always did when he was feeling too goofy to sit still, it didn’t feel the same.
His arm was heavy around your shoulders, but the touch wasn’t familiar anymore. It didn’t make you feel safe or right in the way it had before. It just felt... wrong. Like you had outgrown it, even if you weren’t ready to let it go.
You let him pull you closer, resting your head against his shoulder, even though your heart wasn’t in it.
"Relax, Star," Hoseok teased, his voice light and playful. "I know you want me to steal the show with all my charm."
You should’ve laughed. You should’ve made a joke back, like you always did.
But you couldn’t. Not tonight.
Instead, you stayed quiet, letting your eyes drift to the dark window, wishing it was easier to ignore the way your heart was pulling in the wrong direction.
When you shifted, trying to get comfortable under his arm, Hoseok didn’t notice. He was already talking to Yoongi about something else, something that made him laugh again — bright, carefree. The kind of laugh that didn’t reach you anymore.
And when he looked down at you, his eyes full of playful energy, you wondered if he had ever really seen you at all. If he ever would again.
"Come on, kid," Hoseok said, giving your shoulder a little shake, pulling you out of your thoughts. "You gotta have more fun on my birthday eve. Got it?"
You looked up at him, forcing a smile. "Yeah, sure," you mumbled, voice hollow.
He didn’t seem to notice. He never did.
But the ache was there, deep in your chest, each beat of your heart a reminder of how everything was already starting to change.
And Hoseok, so lost in the excitement of his almost-birthday, didn’t see it. Didn’t see that even now, you were already slipping further away from him — and he didn’t even know.

At fourteen, you decided you had enough. You had always been the kind of person who, when something really clicked, when you truly wanted it, could put your entire heart into it. And now, as you started becoming aware of the things you didn’t want, the parts of yourself that felt like they were suffocating — that’s when you finally took it seriously.
You’d spent so many years in Yoongi and Hoseok’s orbit. It was almost like you didn’t need anyone else. They were your world — they were your friends, your brothers. It was easier to just be with them. Their laughter, their chaos, their endless antics filled up the spaces where you might’ve needed something else.
But as you turned fourteen, you started noticing the cracks. It wasn’t that you were falling apart from their crew, not exactly. You weren’t leaving them behind or anything, but something inside you was shifting. You weren’t just the girl who hung out with her older brother and his best friend anymore. You were growing into something else — someone else.
You started hanging out with your own friends, something you never really had the chance to do before. Not because you didn't want to, but because Hoseok and Yoongi were around all the time, always the first ones to grab your attention, to fill up your time. But now, with a new sense of self, you realized that you didn’t have to always be the younger one, the one trailing behind, laughing at jokes that only Yoongi and Hoseok found funny.
Jungkook, for instance — he wasn’t the first person you’d met, but somehow, he was the one who stayed. You had something with him that didn’t require much explanation. It wasn’t intense, not like the kind of connection you felt with Yoongi or Hoseok, but there was something comforting about it. Jungkook was just... there. And that mattered.
Then there was Yeji. Slowly, over time, she became a part of your circle, and she had this effortless way of making you feel seen, like you didn’t have to always be the side character in someone else’s story. She made you laugh in ways you didn’t know you needed, and more than that, she made you feel like you could stand on your own.
At fourteen, your world started to look different.
You had Yeji.
It was funny, because you never realized how much you needed a girl like her in your life until she was right there. You had always been with the boys, never really having a close girlfriend. Sure, you’d gotten along with other girls in school, but it was different. Yeji was different.
It wasn’t just that she understood the girl things you never had anyone to talk about before. It was more than that. It was the way she would pull you into her world, the way she could turn a casual conversation into an hour-long talk about everything. She was the kind of girl who would share her deepest thoughts and her biggest secrets, and for the first time, you could do the same. You found yourself talking about things you never thought you’d share with anyone: crushes, the weird shifts in your body you didn’t quite understand yet, or the moments of pure frustration with everything around you that made you feel like you didn’t fit.
Yeji didn’t judge. She just listened, and that made her someone you could trust. A girl who would get it.
You weren’t sure if it was because she was the first girl who really saw you — understood you, without needing to ask the typical “girl” questions, but there was a comfort in her presence that you hadn’t realized was missing. She wasn’t just a friend; she was becoming a part of your inner circle, a person who could share those moments with you that only a girl would understand. The girl things. The little giggles, the late-night secrets, the makeup tutorials, and even the way you both could laugh at something that no one else understood.
And then there was Jungkook. He was... different.
A boy, but so effortlessly part of your world. It wasn’t because he tried to be — it was because he was. He wasn’t the kind of guy who would try to outshine everyone or act like he was too cool for the girls. Jungkook was soft, respectful, and the kind of person who understood when to step back and when to step in. There was something so honorable about him, the way he treated you, Yeji, and everyone around him like equals. Not like the girls were some kind of afterthought, but the kind of respect that made him an important part of the crew, without needing to prove anything.
He was the boy who listened. The one who would just show up, no questions asked. The one who would hand you a hoodie without a second thought when it got chilly, or quietly offer to carry your books without making it a big deal. It wasn’t anything special on the surface, but it was. He was a gentleman in the truest sense, without even trying.
With Jungkook, you never felt like you had to second-guess his intentions. He wasn’t trying to fit into a mold; he was just being himself. And that made it easy to talk to him. Easy to be around him. Easy to let him be a part of the little group that was starting to feel like it was growing into something more.
Your world had expanded beyond Yoongi and Hoseok. You still shared everything with them, of course, but now it was different. You weren’t just the girl hanging around their world anymore. You had your own people, your own circle, your own way of being.
Yeji and Jungkook made sure you never felt alone in this transition. They were there when you needed them, and without even realizing it, they filled spaces you didn’t even know existed.
The three of you, together, were something else. You had your own rhythm. You didn’t need to worry about fitting into the mold anymore because with them, you were finally becoming yourself.
You were growing, yes. And you were growing with them.
Not away from Yoongi and Hoseok, but into something more.

At fifteen, the three of you had an unspoken ritual — after school, you’d all meet up at the small café near your school. It was a cozy little place, tucked away on a quiet street, away from the bustling crowds. The soft hum of conversations, the gentle clinking of coffee cups, and the comforting smell of freshly baked pastries always made it feel like a small haven — a space where you could just be yourselves, without anyone expecting anything more.
It was the kind of place that felt like home, even if it wasn’t. You’d sit for hours, talking about everything and nothing at all. It was where you laughed the loudest, where your hearts felt the lightest, and where things between you, Yeji, and Jungkook just… made sense.
Today, however, the usual comfort of the café felt different. Yeji, usually the life of the group, was quieter than usual. Her eyes, usually bright with laughter, were clouded with something you couldn’t place. You, on the other hand, sat there, trying to make sense of the shift in the air, and Jungkook, the ever-soft and caring presence, seemed to sense it too.
The silence between you felt like a weight, one that only seemed to get heavier as the minutes ticked by. Yeji wasn’t talking, wasn’t joking, wasn’t even smiling. And it bothered you more than you wanted to admit.
Finally, you couldn’t take it any longer. “Yeji,” you asked softly, your voice cutting through the stillness, “What’s going on?”
She looked at you, her eyes wide, as if she hadn’t expected you to ask. And then, after a long pause, she let out a shaky breath and spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t think I can keep pretending,” she admitted, her words fragile and heavy. “Like everything’s fine. Like I’m fine.”
The words landed with a weight in your chest. Yeji had always been the strong one, the one who laughed through the tough moments, who pulled everyone else up when things got hard. To hear her say those words, to see her vulnerability like that — it hit you in a way that made your heart ache.
“What’s going on?” you asked, your voice quieter now, the concern creeping in as you reached for her hand, gently brushing your fingers over her trembling skin.
She swallowed hard, her eyes cast downward. “It’s my parents,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “They’re always fighting. Yelling at each other all the time. I don’t know how to deal with it anymore. I feel like… like I’m falling apart. And I don’t even know how to talk to anyone about it.”
You felt your heart twist, an ache forming deep in your chest. It was the kind of pain that hurt but made you want to do something about it, to ease the weight that was pressing on her. Yeji had always been the bright one, the one who made you laugh even when you didn’t want to. To see her like this was jarring, unsettling.
You squeezed her hand gently, trying to offer the kind of comfort she’d given you so many times before. “You don’t have to carry it all alone,” you whispered, your voice firm with quiet determination. “We’re here. You can talk to us. You don’t have to hide it from us. Not anymore.”
She looked at you, her expression softening just a little, but the rawness of her pain was still there, lingering beneath the surface. The silence that followed wasn’t heavy — it was filled with understanding. Jungkook, who had been watching from across the table, finally spoke, his voice calm but filled with warmth. “We’ve got your back. Always.”
Yeji’s lips trembled as she tried to smile, though it was small, fragile. “I don’t know what I’d do without you two.”
And in that moment, as you sat there with your friends, it felt like time slowed down. Everything else in the world faded away, and the three of you were the only ones that mattered. The love between you wasn’t perfect — it wasn’t even always easy — but it was real, and that was enough. No matter what came next, you would face it together.

It was the kind of evening that made the house feel warmer than it actually was. The laughter from the living room carried through the walls, but you found yourself alone in the kitchen. Your parents were hosting their usual get-together with friends, their voices filling the air like background noise to your thoughts.
You were fifteen, not quite ready to step into the world, but also not quite ready to stay in the same place. Everything was in that limbo, like you were floating somewhere between childhood and something else, something that felt exciting and terrifying. The taste of adulthood, or at least the idea of it, was closer than ever, and tonight, something was off. You felt restless.
The kitchen was quiet, except for the hum of the fridge. Your eyes wandered to a glass on the counter, its pink hue promising something sweet, something light. It didn’t smell strong, just sugary, like it was meant for someone your age. Maybe a cocktail, but not something too serious, not something you couldn’t handle. Or so you thought.
You grabbed the glass without a second thought, sipping it slowly, then quickly, as it spread warmth through you, making the edge of your thoughts blur a little. There was a lightness in your chest, but a nagging sensation too—something you couldn’t explain, like you were caught in between.
And then there was Hoseok. He appeared in the doorway, his presence warm like always, but there was a tension in the air that you couldn’t quite place.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice a little lower than usual, like he was concerned, but still playful. His eyes settled on the glass in your hand, then back to your face.
You blinked at him, your mind fuzzy, but still clear enough to notice how his gaze softened. “I’m fine,” you mumbled, though it felt like everything was spinning in slow motion. “Just a little... fun. You know?”
His eyebrows furrowed as he stepped closer, his smile not reaching his eyes. “You sure about that? You’ve had a lot to drink, Star.”
You only half-heard him. You didn’t care. The world felt too far away, and all you could focus on was him—Hoseok, the one person who had always been there. The one person who never made you feel small, who always made you feel... important. You didn’t know why that mattered so much at this moment, but it did.
You took a step forward, unsteady on your feet, but you didn’t notice the way Hoseok’s face tightened with concern. “Hoseok,” you said, your voice soft, slurring just a little, but he could hear the longing in it. “You’ve always been there. Always.”
He hesitated for a second, his hand instinctively reaching out to steady you as you swayed slightly, and his touch lingered on your arm for just a moment too long. “Hey, hey, you’re not thinking straight, alright?” His voice was soft but firm. “You’ve had too much to drink. Let’s get you to sit down, okay?”
You shook your head, but your feet didn’t seem to listen to you. You were too close to him now, the air between you charged with something—something you couldn’t understand, but you felt it in your chest, a sharp, aching desire. You looked up at him, eyes wide, searching for something in his gaze, anything to make sense of the confusing feelings inside of you.
“I just...” You paused, and your heart raced as you took another step forward, reaching for his hand. “I just want to be close to you.”
His face softened, but there was a quiet sadness in his eyes. He gently pulled his hand back, just enough to put some space between you. “You don’t want that, not like this.” His voice was gentle, the words not sharp, but carrying a weight that made your chest tighten. “You’re drunk. You need to sleep this off, alright?”
You didn’t understand what he meant, but your vision blurred again, the world fading in and out, until all you could focus on was him. You wanted him closer, needed to feel his warmth, but he stepped back, his presence still strong, but now filled with something that felt almost like regret.
“I can’t, Star,” Hoseok murmured, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder, his touch warm but careful. “You’re not ready for this.”
And then, as if sensing how lost you were, he gently guided you to sit down on the kitchen counter. His hands were steady, but there was an unease in him, something he wasn’t showing outwardly. He didn’t want you to remember this moment, not like this.
The last thing you remembered was his voice, soft and calm, saying, “You’re not yourself right now. But you will be again.”
You couldn’t remember what happened after that. Everything slipped away like sand through your fingers. The alcohol fogged your memory, and the next morning, when you woke up with a dull headache and no recollection of the night, something in your chest tightened—a dull ache that lingered but couldn’t be explained.
And Hoseok? He never mentioned it. Never brought it up. As if it had never happened. Maybe, in some part of you, you’d been relieved that he hadn’t.
But for him? Maybe it was just another moment he’d quietly tucked away, hoping you’d never remember.
And you never did.

At fifteen, everything felt like it was happening all at once. Your body was changing in ways you didn't understand, and your emotions were even more confusing. One moment, you felt like you could take on the world. The next, you were staring at the mirror, wondering who the stranger was that was starting to appear.
You hated how your body was betraying you, slowly and relentlessly. It wasn’t just your growing boobs that made you self-conscious. It was the little things. The way your clothes fit differently, the tightness in your jeans that made you uncomfortable, the extra curve in places you didn’t know you could have curves. And then there was the damn pimple that appeared out of nowhere—right on the tip of your nose. You’d never felt so aware of your face.
You spent most of the day trying to cover it up with makeup, but nothing worked. All you could think about was how it made you look like a teenager who still didn’t know how to take care of herself. What if Jiwon noticed? What if he thought you were ugly?
The thought of it gnawed at you as you walked to the café after school, where you met Yeji, Jungkook, and Jiwon. It was a weird dynamic. Yeji had been your best friend for so long, but there was something different now. You and Yeji were becoming closer in ways that felt almost… feminine. The kind of friendship that had secrets and whispered conversations about boys, about growing up. It was a side of yourself you hadn’t realized you’d been missing.
Jungkook, on the other hand, had become a bit like a brother to you. He was always respectful, kind, and effortlessly sweet, but he’d also become part of your growing crew, someone who always made you feel safe and valued.
Then there was Jiwon.
He’d started as just another face in the group, but somewhere along the way, he’d become something more. It wasn’t intentional, but every time he looked at you, it felt like he was seeing you in a way no one else did. It was a weird mix of excitement and fear. You were growing, but you didn’t know what to do with the feelings you had for him. He made you nervous in a way no one else did, and it was all so new.
After the café, the group started walking home, the usual chatter filling the air. But as you neared your house, there was this weird tension between you and Jiwon. He had been close all afternoon, his elbow brushing yours more times than you could count. His smile was easy, but there was something different about how he looked at you. It made your heart race.
You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you turned the corner to your street. You hadn’t planned for this—this awkwardness, the sudden shift between friends and something else.
“So,” Jiwon said, his voice a little quieter than usual. “You live around here?”
You nodded, suddenly aware of how close you were to your front door. “Yeah. Just up there.”
He grinned, his eyes glinting with mischief. “That’s cool. I’ve been meaning to ask you… want to hang out sometime? Just the two of us?”
Before you could even process the question, he was already stepping closer, his hand lightly brushing your arm. You looked up at him, and for a moment, it felt like everything stopped. You felt it—the fluttering in your stomach, the heat of your cheeks, the nervousness that made your hands clammy. And then, just like that, he leaned in.
It was quick, sudden, and so soft that you barely had time to react. His lips brushed yours in a gentle, hesitant kiss, and for a split second, everything in your world felt like it was both spinning out of control and perfectly still. Your heart was racing, your thoughts scattering, and the only thing you could focus on was the warmth of his lips against yours.
And then, just as quickly as it had happened, he pulled back, a shy smile on his face. "Sorry," he said, his voice almost apologetic. "I didn’t want to make it weird. But, uh… I liked that."
You were speechless, your heart still thudding in your chest. You didn’t know what to say, how to process the flood of emotions rushing through you.
But just then, you heard a voice—a familiar, distant voice—calling out from the porch.
“Oh?”
It was Yoongi. He had been standing there, watching the whole thing unfold. Your heart dropped. You hadn’t even realized he was home, let alone that he’d seen everything. You turned to him, wide-eyed, suddenly feeling exposed, vulnerable in a way you weren’t used to.
Yoongi didn’t say anything at first, just stared at the two of you with a look you couldn’t quite read. His eyes flickered between you and Jiwon, and for a moment, there was an uncomfortable silence.
“Uh, hey, Yoongi,” you said, trying to sound casual, but your voice was high-pitched, like you were a deer caught in headlights.
Yoongi shrugged, his expression unreadable. “I didn’t know you were hanging out with this guy.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, but you knew he was trying to hide it.
Jiwon, being the brave soul he was, chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I think we’re getting to know each other better.”
Yoongi raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything more. He turned and disappeared into the house without another word. You felt a wave of relief wash over you, but the awkwardness lingered. You looked back at Jiwon, your heart still racing, and for a moment, neither of you knew what to say.
“Well,” Jiwon said, his grin returning, “I guess I’ll see you around, huh?”
You nodded, still a little dazed, but your lips curved into a small smile. “Yeah. I’ll see you.”
As he walked away, you stood there for a moment, still trying to process what had just happened. Everything was changing—your body, your feelings, your relationships—and it was all moving so fast that you didn’t know how to catch up. But one thing was for sure: you were no longer the same person you’d been just a few months ago.
And that kiss? It was the first taste of a world you didn’t yet understand, a world that was both exciting and terrifying in equal measure.

It had been a few minutes after that kiss—the kiss with Jiwon—and you were figuring out what the hell it even meant. Honestly, it was nice in a way, but you couldn’t help feeling a bit... awkward about it. That kiss was just one small thing in a much bigger world of changes you didn’t know how to handle.
The thing that made it a hundred times worse? Yoongi.
You should’ve known since Yoongi saw both of you. You should’ve know. You could almost hear his smirk as you walked into the living room, his eyes lighting up when he saw you.
“Well, well, if it isn’t the girl who’s been kissed.” Yoongi’s voice was casual, but you could hear the amusement dancing in his words.
You froze, feeling your heart drop into your stomach. “I’m not dealing with this right now,” you muttered, trying to walk past him.
Yoongi blocked your path with ease, his arms folded. “Oh no, you’re dealing with this. So, how was it?” His grin was mischievous, the kind that made you want to disappear into the floor.
You sighed, exasperated. “Yoongi, stop.”
He didn’t stop. He never stopped.
“Oh come on,” he teased, his voice light but edged with that playful brotherly tone you knew all too well. “You’re turning into a real heartbreaker, huh? First kiss and all, with Jiwon of all people.” He laughed, clearly enjoying the moment way too much.
You bit your lip, trying to hide your embarrassment. “It was just a kiss, Yoongi. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“Oh, really?” Yoongi raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Then why do you look like you’re about to burst into flames when I mention his name?” He took a step closer, his teasing growing more intense. “It’s obvious. You’ve got a crush. No need to be shy about it.”
You could feel your face burning. “I don’t!” you protested, but it came out weaker than you intended.
He smirked. “You don’t, huh? Then why did you hide the whole thing for so long? You didn’t want to tell me? You were trying to keep it a secret?”
Before you could reply, Yoongi took it a step further, and you heard the worst possible thing.
“Hey, Hoseok,” Yoongi called out to the other room. He was there too, shit. “Guess what? Our little girl got her first kiss. From Jiwon! Can you believe it?” He gave you a sly wink, as if this was all just a funny game.
Hoseok’s voice echoed from the room. “Wait, what? Friend Jiwon? She did?” He appeared in the doorway, his eyes lighting up with amusement. “You kissed him, huh? Nice one!” Hoseok’s grin was like the cherry on top of your misery.
“No, I didn’t—” you started, but it was no use. Yoongi was already on a roll, and Hoseok had joined in, both of them feeding off each other’s energy like they had no mercy.
You couldn’t even get a word in edgewise. It was like Yoongi and Hoseok had become one unstoppable force of teasing. You buried your face in your hands, wishing for the ground to swallow you up.
You couldn’t even look at Yoongi the same after that. He was the worst kind of older brother—the one who knew all your embarrassing moments and made sure everyone else knew too. He’d throw a random “Hey, don’t forget about Jiwon!” at you while you were in the middle of trying have dinner alone. And Hoseok? Hoseok joined in like it was his new favorite hobby, throwing in his own playful jabs.
But, deep down, you knew they didn’t mean any harm. They were just teasing, and in their own way, they were showing that they noticed—that you were growing up, and that they saw you in a different light.

It had been a couple of days since the kiss with Jiwon. You hadn’t really talked about it with anyone—not with Yoongi, who had been unbearable with his teasing, and certainly not with Hoseok, who had an uncanny way of making everything feel like a joke. But now, as you sat across from Yeji at your usual spot in the park, the weight of it all seemed harder to ignore.
Yeji was always easy to talk to. She had this calm, steady way about her that made everything feel less complicated. You had known her long enough to know that she didn’t judge, and she wasn’t afraid to call you out if she thought you were being ridiculous. And right now, you were feeling ridiculous.
"So, how was it? With Jiwon?" Yeji asked, casually nibbling on a snack, though you could see the curiosity in her eyes. You could never hide anything from her for long.
You shifted uncomfortably, staring at the ground. “It was... nice. But also weird,” you admitted, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. “I don’t even know what I’m doing, Yeji. It’s just... everything’s changing so fast.”
Yeji nodded, her expression softening with understanding. “You’re not alone in that, you know. I remember feeling all over the place when things started shifting for me. Our bodies change, we start liking people differently, and sometimes we feel like we don’t even recognize ourselves. It’s okay to feel confused.”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “It’s like... one minute I’m fine, and the next, my heart’s racing and I can’t even think straight. And then Jiwon kisses me, and it’s all I can think about for days. But then it’s like... am I even ready for all this?”
Yeji leaned forward, her gaze steady and reassuring. “No one’s ever really ready for it, you know? Love, or whatever this is. But it doesn’t mean you’re not worth it or that you can’t figure it out as you go along. If Jiwon makes you feel good about yourself, that’s all that matters for now.”
You smiled, grateful for her words. It was simple, but it made you feel less alone in all the confusion. “Thanks, Yeji,” you said softly.
A few days later, you found yourself sitting next to Jungkook during lunch. He had this way of making you feel like everything was less serious, even when your mind was racing with a thousand questions. He was always so laid-back, but you knew he was thoughtful in his own way.
“So, Jiwon, huh?” Jungkook asked, nudging your shoulder with his. “You two still going strong?”
You laughed nervously, looking away for a moment. “I don’t know, Kook. It’s all just... confusing. I mean, I like him, but I don’t even know if I know what I’m doing.” You paused, feeling a little embarrassed by how unsure you sounded. “Is that weird?”
Jungkook shrugged, his smile small but comforting. “Nah, not weird at all. You’re still figuring things out. You’re not supposed to have it all figured out. I don’t think anyone does.” He leaned back, glancing at you with those warm, soft eyes that made everything feel more okay. “And if you like him, then you like him. That’s enough, right?”
You couldn’t help but feel lighter after hearing that from him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you said with a sigh. “It’s just... I never thought it would be like this, you know? It’s hard to just... go with the flow when everything’s changing.”
“I get it,” Jungkook said, his voice sincere. “But you’re not alone in it. I mean, I’m here, Yeji’s here... we all are. And no matter what happens with Jiwon, you’ve got us.”
His words felt like a quiet reassurance, like a promise that things would be okay, no matter how messy they felt right now. You looked over at him, feeling grateful for how much he cared, and for the way he never made you feel like you had to be anything other than yourself around him.
“I’m glad you’re here, Kook,” you said softly.
He smiled at you, a little shy but warm. “Always. That’s what friends are for.”
As you laid on your bed later, reflecting on everything—Jiwon, Yeji’s advice, Jungkook’s words—you realized something important. It wasn’t that you needed to have everything figured out, or that you needed to rush through your feelings. You just needed to be honest with yourself, and to trust that whatever was happening with Jiwon was part of your journey. You didn’t need to have all the answers, just the courage to keep going.
And maybe that was the first step toward learning what real love and friendship meant.

Yoongi’s graduation ceremony was a quiet celebration of change. You watched him—your older brother, the one who had always been there in ways only he could—standing in his cap and gown, the weight of it all settling in your chest. He wasn’t just growing up; he was stepping into a future that was further and further from you, and that realization was a strange kind of ache.
He was leaving for Seoul next month to attend SNU, and with each passing day, it felt more real. He wasn’t just your brother anymore. He was someone on his own path, and soon enough, that path would take him places that you wouldn’t always be able to follow.
For the first time, you could feel that distance creeping in—not in the obvious ways, but in the subtle, unspoken shifts. You both understood that things were changing.
“You okay?” Yoongi asked, his voice soft but teasing, as if he already knew what was going through your head. He nudged you lightly with his elbow, the same small, familiar gesture he had always done.
You nodded, but there was a lingering ache in your chest. "Yeah, just... thinking. It’s just weird, you know? You’re going to SNU. Things are really changing, aren’t they?”
Yoongi's gaze softened, the teasing edge to his smile replaced with something quieter, something that seemed to settle between the two of you. “Yeah, they are,” he agreed, pausing for a moment, as though searching for the right words. “But I’m still gonna be around. I’m not going anywhere.”
The way he said it wasn’t just reassurance. It was an understanding. He was making a promise, but you both knew it wasn’t about physical presence—it was about knowing that no matter where life took him, you were still part of the same story. Always.
You swallowed, trying to push past the emotions rising in your chest. “It’s just... you’ve always been my favorite person,” you said, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “You’ve always been the one I could count on.”
For a moment, Yoongi was silent, the air between you two thick with everything unsaid. Then, finally, he spoke, his voice soft but full of that quiet certainty you’d always loved.
“And so you are to me, kiddo,” he said, his voice breaking through the ache in your heart. It was simple, but there was so much meaning behind it.
It wasn’t just a throwaway line. It was Yoongi, admitting, in the quietest way possible, how much you meant to him. He didn’t need grand gestures or words to express it; it was in the weight of those few words, the sincerity behind them.
You couldn’t hold back anymore. Your eyes welled up just slightly, not from sadness, but from the realization that even though things were changing, this—this bond between you two—wasn’t going anywhere. It would stretch, it would bend, but it would never break.
“I’m proud of you,” you said, your voice unsteady. “So proud of you. You’ve always known exactly what you wanted, and now you’re doing it.”
Yoongi looked at you, and for the first time, there was a flicker of something vulnerable in his eyes. He reached out, his hand ruffling your hair in that familiar way that felt like home.
“Don’t get all sentimental on me, alright?” he teased, his usual smirk returning, but it was softer now. “You’re a big girl now. You can’t cry over a stupid graduation.”
But there was no hiding the pride in his voice, the pride he felt in you, too. It was the unspoken connection that tied you both together. Even as he took this next step in his life, he knew you were always going to be there, just as you knew he would be.
“Yeah, I know,” you said, forcing a laugh, but it was laced with the emotions you couldn’t quite explain. “But you’re still my favorite person, Yoongi. Even if you’re going to Seoul. Even if things change.”
Before he could respond, Hoseok, ever the interrupter, popped up behind you, his grin wide and mischievous. “I swear, if you two keep this up, I’m going to need a tissue,” he said, laughing. “Come on, man, don’t get all sappy on us. You’re supposed to be the cool one, Yoongi.”
Yoongi shot Hoseok a look, rolling his eyes but with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Shut up, Hoseok. I’m allowed to be sentimental every once in a while, right?”
Hoseok laughed, shaking his head. “Only because it’s your graduation day. After that, you’re back to being the stoic, mysterious guy we all know and love.”
You smiled at the two of them, the warmth between you all unmistakable. Hoseok had always been the one to break the tension, and right now, his presence reminded you of the little crew you had—Yoongi, Hoseok, and you. Even as things were shifting, that bond was unshakable.
Yoongi took a deep breath, his gaze briefly softening before he spoke again. “I’m gonna miss you, kid,” he said, his voice quieter now, the teasing edge gone. “But I’ll be back. And when I am, we’ll make up for all this sappy stuff.”
You nodded, smiling as you fought back the small knot of emotions in your throat. “I know. Just... make sure you come back and visit, okay?”
“I’ll be back,” Yoongi assured, his tone full of quiet certainty. “And when I do, we’ll do this whole thing all over again.”
You both stood there, in that shared moment of understanding, as Hoseok cracked another joke, but the feeling between you all was deep and lasting. The future was starting to pull them away, but the bond you all shared wasn’t something that would fade with time. You really hoped for that though.

At sixteen, or more accurately, soon to turn sixteen—your birthday just two weeks away—you broke up with Jiwon. It was the kind of breakup that didn’t feel dramatic or full of shouting, but it left an emptiness in its wake, a quiet ache you couldn’t quite place.
You started this whole relationship—or whatever it was—with excitement. You imagined butterflies in your stomach, the thrill of late-night texts, the kind of sweet, innocent things you had read about in books or seen in movies. But, as time passed, it all started to feel... cold. Not in a harsh way, but in a way that made you realize it wasn’t what you had thought it would be.
Jiwon, he was sweet, funny, and yes—he made your heart race in a way that was new, in a way you hadn’t experienced before. But for some reason, that racing heart wasn’t enough to keep you going.
It wasn’t that he had done anything wrong. Jiwon was a good guy. But when you looked at him, you didn’t feel the same pull that you thought you would. The butterflies had faded, and all you could hear was the quiet thrum of uncertainty growing louder inside you.
Part of it was the distance. He was moving to Seoul soon, only a couple of hours away by train, but that felt like the distance of an entire world. And you weren’t sure if you were willing to hold onto something that wasn’t fully there.
Your heart wasn’t in it—not the way it should be, at least. It was a confusing, uncomfortable feeling—like you were floating just outside the lines of what you were supposed to feel. You were supposed to be devastated, right? To have that gut-wrenching pain that everyone talks about after a breakup. But instead, all you felt was a strange kind of relief, mixed with guilt, like you had let something slip through your fingers before you could truly understand it.
“You’re making the right choice,” Yeji had told you, her voice gentle, almost knowing. She was always good at reading you, especially when you didn’t know what to say yourself. “It’s not about him, you know. It’s about where you’re at. You’ve changed. You’re not the same girl you were when you started this.”
And she was right. You had changed, slowly but surely. You didn’t need Jiwon to make you feel complete anymore. You were starting to realize that you needed more than just the idea of a relationship. You needed something real, something that stirred you at a deeper level—something that felt like it would last longer than a few fleeting months of puppy love.
Jiwon wasn’t the one who did it for you. And that was okay. It wasn’t his fault. You just weren’t the same person you had been when you first started the relationship. You weren’t the same person you were at the beginning of the year, at fifteen, with all your emotions so easily tangled up in the idea of romance.
As you sat there in your room, phone in hand, the message you sent him still lingering in the drafts—I think we should take a break—you couldn’t help but wonder if you were making a mistake. But then again, you couldn’t keep pretending either.
There was a subtle ache in your chest, but it was the kind of ache you knew would fade. Maybe not now, but eventually. It was a lesson you had to learn, one that had come a little too soon, but one you were glad you were starting to figure out.

At sixteen, you didn’t fully understand what heartache was until the day you got heartbroken, and even then, you pretended like you didn’t know why it hurt. But you did. You always knew, deep down, but you had never admitted it to yourself. That was the day it all came rushing back—the feelings you had tucked away for so long, buried under layers of denial and distraction. They had always been there, quietly creeping inside your heart, only now did you finally recognize them for what they were.
It was a nice day, the kind of summery warmth that hung in the air before school started again, full of the easy, laid-back vibe of the final days of summer. You were out shopping with Jungkook, a typical day in the life of your friendship. He was excited, nervous even, about buying Eunbi a present. Jungkook, your sweet, loyal friend, had the biggest crush on her, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched him overthink the smallest details. The way he talked about her, the shy look in his eyes, it was the cutest thing, honestly. Puppy love, you called it with a teasing laugh, but deep down, you couldn’t deny the twinge of something else.
You, being the good best friend, were helping him choose something perfect. Yeji wasn’t with you today—she had to go to a wedding in Seoul, a family relative’s, and she had given Jungkook some advice before leaving. So, there you were, navigating the jewelry stores with him, pointing out earrings, necklaces, and bracelets, trying to find the one that screamed “perfect” for Eunbi.
It was supposed to be a fun day, but then, it happened. Right after Jungkook paid for the gift, his face lighting up with that pleased, nervous smile, you turned and saw something—no, someone.
You saw him.
You saw Hoseok.
See, the thing was, you had seen Hoseok kiss someone before—just once by accident, then again because, well, you were curious. There was that one time when you caught him with a girl at the park, their lips locked in a moment that was more heated than you expected. You remembered feeling something then, something that made your chest ache in a way you didn’t understand. It wasn’t the kiss that bothered you. It was how he was with her, how natural it looked, how right it felt in a way you hadn’t felt about him in a long time.
But that wasn’t the worst part. No, the worst part was when you realized what you had been denying all along.
Hoseok had grown up. He wasn’t the same playful older brother you used to cling to, the one who made you laugh with his dumb jokes or wrapped you in his warm hugs. That version of him had faded, and you hadn’t even noticed it until now. He was taller, more defined, his features sharper. And it wasn’t just his body that had changed—it was how he carried himself. He was different, and in a way that made him... hot. You hated that word. You had never used it to describe him, but now, it was the only word that fit.
His hair, that messy, wild style he used to wear had evolved into something effortlessly cool. He looked older. He looked... like a man, and suddenly, you were curious. You wanted to know what it would be like to see him as someone who was more than just Yoongi’s best friend, more than just that guy who always teased you. You wanted to know what it would be like to feel that about him.
But standing there, frozen in the doorway of the store, you realized you didn’t just want to know. You already did.
And then, you saw it.
Hoseok was standing there, near his car—his car now, because he was nineteen, he was grown up. The girl beside him was someone you recognized, but you hadn’t paid much attention to her before. She was older, confident, and the way she leaned into him was enough to send a wave of unease through your chest.
You weren’t sure what made you step closer, what made you want to see this so badly, but your feet moved before your brain could catch up. And then, it happened.
Hoseok’s hand slipped under the girl’s skirt, his fingers barely brushing the fabric, sliding upward with a confidence that made your stomach flip in ways you didn’t know were possible. You didn’t want to look, but you couldn’t look away.
They weren’t kissing now, not in the way you had seen before. This was... different. More private. More intimate. More inappropriate. His hand, so sure of itself, was moving against her, and the girl’s breath hitched, a soft sound that shouldn’t have been heard by someone standing across the parking lot. You didn’t know how long you stood there, watching, feeling like the world had suddenly gone silent around you. It wasn’t just that you didn’t want to see it—it was that you didn’t want to feel this, didn’t want to feel the ache in your chest, the twisting of your heart as if someone had squeezed it in a vise.
You had known, deep down, that Hoseok wasn’t yours. You had known it in your mind, but your heart... it had been clinging to that hope, to that quiet, secret wish that maybe, just maybe, one day you could be the one who stood next to him like that girl did.
But here you were, watching him with someone else, and everything inside you felt like it was collapsing.
As they pulled away, laughing, Hoseok’s eyes scanned the lot—and for a second, they met yours. His smile faltered just slightly, like he recognized you, but the moment was fleeting.
You quickly turned away, retreating into the store with Jungkook, who was oblivious, still holding his little bag of jewelry for Eunbi. You were glad he didn’t notice the way your hands shook, the way your heart was still racing for reasons you didn’t want to admit.
And as you walked out into the warm summer air, your mind was full of confusion. You had thought you’d moved on from Hoseok. You had told yourself you didn’t feel that way about him anymore. But now, everything felt different. You weren’t sure if it was the kiss, the girl, or something else entirely, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you had just seen something that would change everything.
The ache in your chest wasn’t going away, not anytime soon.

Hoseok and you acted like nothing had happened. Like the image of him, his hand slipping under another girl’s skirt, hadn’t been burned into your mind. Like you hadn’t seen it, like you hadn’t felt every inch of that uncomfortable, aching feeling in your chest. You went on, pretending nothing was wrong. You saw him, of course, passing by your house just like he always did, his presence familiar, his smile as easy as it had ever been.
But it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t.
Sometimes, he’d stop by to chat with your parents, always charming them with his usual warmth, always the one who knew how to make everyone feel comfortable. And sometimes, he’d linger just a little longer, waiting for you to walk through the door or step out into the yard, as if you were still the girl who had his attention without question, as if you were still the one he came to see.
"Star who shines the brightest," he’d call out, that playful nickname he used to tease you with, his voice light, but underneath, there was an unspoken layer of familiarity. You hadn’t heard it in so long, hadn’t felt it in the way it used to make you smile. You would freeze at the sound of it, that little pang of nostalgia hitting you before you could brush it off.
“Hey, Hoseok,” you’d reply, trying to sound casual, trying to pretend like the knot in your stomach wasn’t there. “I’m sure whatever it is, I can help you with it.” You said it like you meant it, like it was all just another normal day, but the words felt hollow in your mouth. It wasn’t the same. Nothing was the same.
He’d smile that easy, wide smile, the one that always made you feel like everything was going to be okay, the one that used to fill the spaces between your heartbeats. "I’m sure you can," he’d say, but there was something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite read. Something that lingered in the air between you two—an unspoken tension, a shift, a feeling that neither of you were willing to acknowledge, but that was there nonetheless.
You couldn’t look at him the same way anymore. Not after that day. Not after seeing him with her. Not after you had realized that all these years, you’d been in love with him without even knowing it. How could you face him and pretend everything was fine when you were carrying this heavy ache inside? How could you laugh at his stupid jokes and pretend you weren’t desperately trying to keep your distance, to stop the feelings that you had hidden for so long from bubbling to the surface?
But you didn’t know how to stop pretending. How to stop being the girl who had always been by his side, the one who had grown up with him, who had been his little sister in every sense of the word. You didn’t know how to say what you were really feeling because it was messy, and it hurt too much. And maybe, just maybe, you were still afraid of what would happen if you said it out loud.
So, you went on like nothing had changed, like it didn’t eat you up inside every time he said your name. Every time he smiled at you, so casually, so easily. You pretended, because you couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, even if the person you were pretending to be wasn’t the real you anymore.
And Hoseok? He acted like nothing had happened, too. Maybe he didn’t know what to do either. Or maybe he knew and just didn’t want to face it. He’d still show up, still ask for your help with the dumbest things—little things, like helping him with some paperwork or giving him advice on something small. But it always felt like it was more than that. It felt like he was searching for an excuse to be near you, to hold on to that familiarity. Maybe he wasn’t ready to admit that something had shifted between you, either.
But you were the one who felt it. The weight of it. The aching, quiet realization that you couldn’t stay the same. That things had changed, but you couldn’t stop pretending that they hadn’t.
You had to live with it. Live with the feeling of wanting him so much it hurt, and the knowledge that he was with someone else, that he was out there, living his life without even realizing how deeply you were still affected by him. You had to live with the silence that followed him every time he left, that feeling of emptiness that lingered long after he was gone. The feeling that no matter how many times he smiled at you, you’d never be able to go back to the way things used to be.
You couldn’t go back to being the girl who didn’t know how much you needed him, how much you loved him, until it was too late.
Later that year, after playing this endless tug-of-war with Hoseok, pretending that nothing had changed—pretending that you hadn’t seen him with that girl, pretending that the weight in your chest wasn’t there—you finally felt a little bit of freedom. Freedom in the most unexpected of places.
It was the night of Hoseok’s graduation, and the air felt magical, like something out of a dream. The stars hung low in the sky, not too cold, not too warm—just the perfect night. Perfect for him. Perfect for the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. He was leaving Gwangju, heading to Seoul, and you knew this time, it wasn’t just about the transition from high school to university. This was a bigger shift, one that meant he was starting to move away from everything familiar, from everyone who had always known him as the guy who could light up any room.
You tried not to think about how you couldn’t remember the last time you had looked at him without feeling that quiet ache. How it used to be so easy, how everything about your relationship had been so comfortable until suddenly, it wasn’t. But that was the thing, wasn’t it? This ache had always been there, creeping in the shadows, just waiting for the right moment to show itself. You had tried to ignore it, tried to pretend it wasn’t real, but tonight—it was too much to hide anymore.
“Never thought you’d be good at math,” you joked, trying to sound light, to ease the tension that had settled between you.
“Neither did I,” he murmured, his eyes momentarily drifting away from you. He was always so good at pretending nothing was wrong, so good at hiding what was really going on behind his smile. And yet, you could see it in the way his shoulders had squared, in the little lines that formed between his brows. It wasn’t all just about the graduation for him, either.
“Shouldn’t you be happy?” you asked, your voice quieter now, almost hesitant. It wasn’t the question you had meant to ask. But it was the one that slipped out. Because you couldn’t ignore it anymore—the way his eyes never quite met yours, the way his smile seemed forced tonight.
“I am,” he said, but his words were laced with something you couldn’t quite name. “I’m happy. I wanted something practical, something I can do for the long term. I’ll be teaching dance on the weekends, but I’ve got my degree to fall back on.”
You laughed, a small sound that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “You’ve always had a plan, haven’t you?”
He smiled that crooked, easy smile. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
You nodded, but inside, it all felt so much heavier than you expected. You had been expecting this—his quiet confidence, his carefully constructed path, the way he could make everything sound so easy. But you couldn’t help feeling like he was already slipping away. And in a way, you had been preparing yourself for this moment, even if you didn’t know how to let go.
The thing is, you had loved him long before this night. Long before any of this became complicated. You realized that now. The feeling that had been there for so long, the one you had buried deep down—only now, it wasn’t something you could deny. It wasn’t something you could push away anymore. You had loved him for so long that it had become a part of you, woven into the very fabric of who you were. And when you finally accepted that, it was like a heavy curtain had been pulled back, and you saw him clearly for the first time. And that scared you. Because it wasn’t just the boy you had grown up with anymore.
This was Hoseok, the one who had always been there, and now, the one who was leaving.
And yet, tonight—tonight was a new beginning, wasn’t it? He had invited you. Specifically. He had wanted you there. Even now, as he was on the cusp of leaving everything behind to start something new, he had reached out to you. It felt like the perfect chance to close the gap between you two, to break down the walls that had been building over the past months.
He wasn’t just someone you had known for years anymore. He was someone you cared about deeply, someone you had wanted to be close to for so long, even when it hurt. And now, you weren’t sure where this moment would lead.
“Star,” he said suddenly, and your heart skipped at the familiar nickname. “I’m glad you came. I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed tonight as much without you here.”
The ache in your chest deepened. The old, familiar feeling of being the one who belonged to him—the one who had always been his “Star”—seemed to echo in his voice. But there was something more, something heavier in it now. And you didn’t know if it was because he was leaving or because you were finally facing the truth.
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” you said softly, your voice trembling just slightly, even though you tried to hide it. “You know I’ll always be here for you, right?”
He smiled, his eyes softening for a moment, just the smallest crack in his facade. “I know, Star. You’ve always been here for me.”
And for a moment, you just stood there, the silence between you heavy, but warm. You were both standing on the edge of something, not quite sure what was next. But you knew that even though he was leaving, there was no way you could forget how much you had cared for him. No matter how hard you tried to push it down, no matter how hard you tried to pretend, he had always been there. Always.
And maybe, just maybe, tonight—this night, the perfect night with the stars shining down on you both—was a way for you to let go of the past and finally take that first step toward whatever was coming next.

At seventeen, life felt like it was finally yours. For the first time, you were truly free, unencumbered by the shadow of your older brother or the weight of expectations. Yoongi wasn’t around already, neither was Hoseok, no more pretending that everything was fine when it wasn't. The world suddenly seemed vast, and you were ready to chase it on your own terms.
Yeji and Jungkook were still your crew, always your foundation, but along the way, you had adopted Jimin and Taehyung into your world. It felt natural, like they’d always been a part of the group, like they just fit. And they were the ones who pulled you into a world you hadn’t quite been ready for but somehow felt like you were meant to step into. The world of parties, the world of carefree fun, the world of no boundaries, of dancing until your legs ached and laughing until you forgot how to stop.
Jimin and Taehyung were the life of every party, always at the center of things, pulling everyone into their orbit. And that night, they had invited you. Your first real party. You had never felt so alive—so free.
It was a Friday, and you had already asked your parents for permission. It wasn’t even about convincing them; they knew you were growing up. They trusted you. Your mom reminded you to call at 1 a.m. if you needed a ride, but that was it. They gave you a little money for a cab, just in case. And then, they let you go. It wasn’t the first time you’d gone out, but it felt different—like you were finally stepping into a new chapter of your life, a life that wasn’t so tightly monitored, a life where you were free to make your own decisions.
The party was in full swing by the time you arrived. Music thumped through the walls, and the warm summer night air wrapped around you like a blanket. The smell of alcohol, sweat, and perfume filled the air, but you didn’t mind. You were here. You were finally here, in this world that felt so different, but so right. Yeji was already there, her laughter carrying across the room as she caught sight of you. And then Jungkook, who always seemed to know just what you needed—an easy smile, a warm greeting, a constant source of comfort.
And then, of course, Jimin and Taehyung. They were already in the middle of things, as always, pulling you into their circle, making you feel like you were exactly where you were supposed to be. But the night had barely started when the shots began. Taehyung had the mischievous glint in his eyes that told you this was about to get out of hand. “Come on, it’s one shot,” he had said, grinning. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
You had laughed it off. Just one shot, you told yourself. But somehow, it never stopped at one.
By the time you had lost track of how many shots you’d had, the world felt like it was spinning in the most wonderful way. The music was louder, the people around you felt closer, and your laughter was genuine, unburdened. You felt light, like you could float away.
That was when the words spilled out, uninvited, like a confession you had been keeping for far too long. You didn’t even think about it. You were just there, surrounded by your closest friends, and somehow, it all just came out.
“I think... I think I’m still looking for someone else,” you said, your voice slurring just a little, but there was truth in it that couldn’t be ignored. “I keep meeting people, and they’re nice, and they’re... good. But it’s just not enough. I keep looking for him.”
They all stopped, eyes on you for a moment. You didn’t even need to say his name. They all knew. They had always known. Everyone had always known who him was. Who Hoseok was.
Jimin raised an eyebrow, his usual playful smirk fading for just a moment, replaced with something softer. “You’ve always been obsessed with him, haven’t you?” he asked, his voice teasing but warm.
You looked at them—Jimin, Taehyung, Yeji, Jungkook—and realized how much they understood. How much they cared for you, how they could read you without you even saying a word. They had all seen it: the way you carried Hoseok’s memory with you, the way you tried to ignore it, push it away, but always came back to it. Always came back to him.
“Yeah,” you said quietly, almost ashamed of how much you had let it affect you. “I didn’t mean to. But I think I always have.”
The group went silent for a moment, each of them processing your confession in their own way. But then Taehyung, ever the one to bring the mood back to light, clapped his hands and grinned. “Well, now we know,” he said, raising his cup in a mock toast. “The mystery is solved. You’re still in love with Hoseok. And you’re not fooling anyone.”
You laughed, but it was bittersweet. Because the truth of it settled in your chest. It had always been Hoseok. All those feelings you tried to bury, all that distance you had created between yourself and the truth—it was never going to go away. No matter how many parties you went to, no matter how many people you met, you were always looking for him.
The night continued, but it felt like it had changed. You were still with your friends, still laughing, still part of the group. But in the quiet moments, you couldn’t shake the truth that had just spilled from your lips. Hoseok had always been there, lurking in the background, and now—now that you had confessed it out loud—you weren’t sure what to do with it.
You needed to move on, to let go, to forget—but you couldn’t. Not when he was still the one you kept looking for in everyone else.
And as the night went on, you realized something: You couldn’t hide from your feelings anymore. You couldn’t bury them deep enough that they wouldn’t come back up. He wasn’t coming back either. And at seventeen he wasn’t going to take you seriously. At seventeen, him being twenty, nothing was going to happen. It ached, but it was okay too. He had no fault in this.

At nineteen, you were finally graduating. It was a mix of excitement and relief. The years leading up to this moment had blurred together—endless laughs with your group: Yeji, Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. They’d always been there, constant in their own ways. Yoongi still dropped by whenever he could, despite his busy schedule at med school, but he wasn’t home much these days. Hoseok? You saw him only when Yoongi was around. He and Yoongi were at the same university in Seoul, but despite both being on the same campus, their paths didn’t cross too often.
It was exactly one week before graduation.
And today? Hoseok had come over on his own. Yoongi had left with Sunhee—his first girlfriend to officially meet your family—and it was just you at home with Yeji.
You were in the middle of an easy conversation with Yeji when Hoseok arrived. The door creaked open, and there he was, standing in the doorway, a bottle of soju in hand, a sheepish smile on his face. He was tipsy but not out of control. —just enough to give him that carefree energy, a hint of something else in his eyes. Still weird though. What was he doing here anyway?
“Hey, Star,” Hoseok greeted you, his voice warm but quiet. You hadn't heard him call you that in a while. It hit you more than you expected.
“Hey, what’s up?” you replied, trying to keep your tone casual, though a part of you couldn’t help but feel that old familiarity and something else—a pull that felt like comfort mixed with something a little more complicated.
“I need your help with something,” he said, grinning like he was trying to hide his real reason for coming over. His eyes flicked to Yeji, who was standing near the couch, clearly trying to figure out what to make of his presence.
“Oh?” you raised an eyebrow, teasing him. “I’m sure it’s something more than just that.”
Before Hoseok could answer, Yeji, sensing the shift, stood up. “I’m gonna head out for a bit, y’know, errands and stuff,” she said, clearly making her exit. You could tell she was giving you and Hoseok some space—she always did, when it felt like it was time. “Don’t stay up too late, alright?” she added with a smile, disappearing out the door.
And just like that, you and Hoseok were alone.
The silence between you two hung in the air, thick and palpable. Hoseok took a few steps closer, and for a moment, you thought he was going to say something. But instead, he just stood there, holding the bottle loosely in his hand.
“I didn’t expect to see you today,” you said, almost as a way to break the silence, but the words felt hollow the moment they left your mouth. It wasn’t like you hadn’t seen him before, but right now, things felt different—off. Maybe it was because you hadn’t spent time with him alone in so long. Maybe it was just the way everything was changing, slowly, but undeniably.
Hoseok’s gaze softened for a moment, a flash of something you couldn’t quite place. He shrugged and took a step closer to the couch. “Yeah, I know. I don’t know why I came, really... just felt like I needed to be around something... familiar. I guess,” he said, his voice trailing off like he was still trying to make sense of his own words.
Familiar. You. The word settled in the pit of your stomach.
“I get it,” you said quietly, your heart a little heavier than you expected. There was a quiet ache, but you weren’t sure where it came from. Hoseok had always been there. In your life, in your space, your family. And yet, something had shifted. Not just with him, but with you, too.
He let out a small laugh, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, I mean... I guess things have been weird lately. I don’t know how to explain it.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I guess, I don’t want to feel like everything’s changing. I don’t know... does that make sense?”
You nodded, even though it kind of didn’t. “It does,” you said, but your voice sounded distant, even to your own ears.
Hoseok looked at you for a long moment, his gaze lingering, almost searching, but also filled with a kind of exhaustion you hadn’t noticed before. It was the same exhaustion you saw in Yoongi sometimes when he came back from school, looking like he was carrying more than he could handle.
You didn’t know what else to say.
But the air between you two felt thick, not with the ease of how it used to be, but with the strange tension of something—maybe old memories, maybe feelings that didn’t have names yet. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was familiar, and you both clung to that. Even though you didn’t know where this feeling was coming from, you both knew it was there, hanging in the room, unspoken and heavy.
Finally, Hoseok took a deep breath, like he was ready to change the subject, but before he could speak, you heard the soft sound of Yeji’s car pulling out of the driveway, her engine fading in the distance.
Hoseok stood up, walking to the window as if he didn’t want to break the silence too quickly. “I should probably go,” he said, his voice softer now, more like he was saying it to himself than to you.
You didn’t want him to go, not really. But you didn’t know how to stop him, or if you should.
“Yeah, maybe,” you said, standing up and walking over to where he stood by the window. Your heart was pounding, but you couldn’t tell if it was from the ache or from the weirdness of being so close yet so distant. “I’ll see you later, alright?”
He turned to look at you, his expression still unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—something that made you want to reach out, but you didn’t. He nodded slowly, giving you a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah. Later, Star.”
And with that, he left, leaving you standing by the window, still feeling that strange mix of comfort, hope, and confusion, unsure of what was happening or what would come next.

Graduation day arrived in a burst of light, and you had never felt more alive. The air was crisp, carrying the buzz of excitement, and everything seemed perfect. Yeji was by your side, her fingers expertly applying makeup as you both laughed at the absurdity of trying to look perfect for a day that would soon be over. You helped her with her makeup, too, and despite the nerves, there was warmth in the moment. It felt like all the years of hard work were finally culminating in this one day, and you were here—alive, surrounded by your closest friends and family.
Yoongi made sure to make a scene when they called your name. His proud grin was unmistakable, and your dad, smiling broadly, stood next to your mom, both of them cheering you on like they always had. It was the kind of moment that felt timeless, as if you could hold onto the warmth of their pride forever.
But then... there was Hoseok.
Hoseok, standing on the other side of the ceremony hall, his voice almost booming as he yelled, "I knew my Star would make it big!" The words were loud, filled with genuine joy, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. His happiness was infectious, and you couldn’t help but smile, even though the warmth of his voice didn’t quite reach your chest in the same way it used to.
The moment passed quickly, but that smile stayed on your face as you took the family picture, standing between Yoongi and your parents. They all stood so close, like a unit, and as Yoongi whispered in your ear, his voice quiet but full of emotion, “I’m proud of you,” you felt the lump in your throat. This was it—the moment you had been working towards.
But when you looked around, something felt off.
The crowd began to disperse, the noise around you dying down, and you caught sight of Hoseok lingering near the side. His smile had softened, but there was a strange distance in his eyes, something you hadn’t noticed before. It was subtle—just a flicker, but you could see it. His usual brightness was muted, replaced with something heavier. His gaze wasn’t focused on anyone in particular, but on something in the distance, like he was lost in thought.
You excused yourself from your family and made your way toward him. The moment felt inevitable. You had to speak to him—had to acknowledge the strange tension between you two that had been growing ever since the night of your graduation. It wasn’t anything overt, but it lingered.
“Hey,” you said, your voice tentative as you approached him. “I didn’t know you’d be this quiet today. You’re always so loud.”
Hoseok glanced at you, his lips pulling into a small, tight smile. “Yeah, well, things are different now, aren’t they?” His voice was light, but there was something in his eyes that didn’t match the tone.
“Different how?” You pressed, your curiosity edging out the cautious distance you felt between you.
He shifted his weight, hands stuffed in his pockets as he looked away again, almost like he was searching for something in the crowd. “I don’t know.” There was a hesitation in his voice, a hint of something that didn’t belong. “Just... feels like the end of one thing, you know?”
You frowned slightly, your chest tightening. “Yeah... I get that,” you said quietly, suddenly unsure of where the conversation was going. “But it’s not really the end, right? We’ll see each other more.”
His eyes flickered back to you, but they weren’t as bright as they used to be. There was a sadness in them, subtle yet unmistakable. “Yeah, but...” His voice trailed off, and for a moment, it seemed like he didn’t know how to finish the thought. “You know, I’ve always been here. But I feel like we’re all heading in different directions now, and I guess it’s just... hard to tell what’s next.”
Your stomach twisted as you processed his words. There was an ache in his voice, a rawness that you hadn’t expected. Hoseok was always the one who seemed certain of everything—the one who could brighten any room with his presence. And yet now, he sounded uncertain, hesitant, like he wasn’t quite sure where he fit anymore.
You swallowed hard, suddenly aware of the growing distance between the two of you. “I thought things would feel... different,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “But now I’m not so sure.”
He finally looked at you, and for a fleeting moment, it felt like he was seeing you in a way he hadn’t in a long time—like he wanted to say something, but the words were stuck. The sadness in his eyes deepened, but he masked it with a quick flash of a smile. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I get that. I think we’re all figuring things out, in our own way.”
There was something unsaid between you, something that neither of you wanted to face, but the silence spoke louder than anything else. Hoseok wasn’t just any friend anymore—he wasn’t the boy who used to be part of your world in such a seamless way. And somehow, that truth hurt more than anything.
“I’ll always be here, you know that, right?” Hoseok said after a long pause, his voice sincere, but with an edge of something unspoken. “But maybe... maybe things are just changing, and we have to let them.”
You nodded, though the ache in your chest was heavier than ever. “Yeah. I think I’m starting to understand that.”
Hoseok gave you one last lingering look, his eyes softening as he gave a small, almost imperceptible nod. “I’m proud of you, Star. You’ve got a bright future ahead.”
And with that, he turned, slipping back into the crowd, leaving you standing there, with a heart full of confusion and a lingering sense of longing that you couldn’t explain. You had always known Hoseok, but suddenly, it felt like you didn’t know him at all.

You shocked your parents—and honestly, everyone—when you told them you wouldn’t be going to university in Seoul. Yonsei University had accepted you, and that should have been the dream. It was everything you’d worked for, everything you thought you wanted. But somehow, something didn’t feel right. The more you thought about it, the more the doubt started creeping in. Something about it felt... wrong.
You had always been the person who sought out logic, who found comfort in planning, in structure. Marketing made sense. It was creative but stable, a perfect balance of ambition and practicality. You could see yourself working in that field, building a career, maybe even making something of it. But every time you imagined yourself walking through Yonsei’s gates, something deep inside you twisted. It wasn’t fear, exactly—just a sense of being trapped. A nagging feeling that if you stayed in Seoul, you’d be stuck.
Was it fear of being tied down to a place that wasn’t really yours? Or was it fear of growing into a life you hadn’t chosen for yourself?
You had always done what was expected of you. Your family’s pride was always there, lingering, and you couldn’t shake the idea of disappointing them. But in the quiet of your thoughts, a voice kept telling you it wasn’t enough—this life wasn’t enough. You weren’t meant to be confined to one place, to live the same life your parents had lived. You wanted more.
It wasn’t an easy decision. It wasn’t something you made lightly. You felt a pull toward something different, something far away from the expectations that had been sewn into you from a young age. So you did what you had always done when faced with uncertainty: you pushed forward, took the leap. You applied for scholarships, even though you knew it was a last-minute decision. The kind of decision that could either change everything or fall apart completely.
When the letter from New York University arrived, everything felt surreal. You’d made it. But in the quiet after the excitement, there was this strange mix of relief and confusion. Why didn’t this feel like the victory you thought it would?
Marketing. The major was still there, and it made sense. But now, tucked in the margins of your future was something no one knew about—something for you. A minor in creative writing. It was a part of you that no one expected, not even you at first. You had always been a quiet dreamer, someone who got lost in words but never really let anyone see that part of you.
As you sat there, staring at the acceptance letter, the weight of it all settled in. You could finally take control of your future. But it didn’t come without a price. You’d be far from home, far from the people who had always been there—Yoongi, your family, your old friends.
Was it selfish to choose yourself now? Was it selfish to want something more than what was expected?
But in the end, you didn’t care. You knew this was the right path for you. It didn’t matter that it was scary or uncertain—it felt like freedom. A chance to break away from the life everyone thought you should have and create one that was all your own. But it also felt like a goodbye, like you were walking away from a part of yourself you weren’t sure you were ready to leave behind.
It was bittersweet. It felt like stepping into the unknown, like taking a leap off the edge of a cliff and hoping there was something—anything—to catch you. You didn’t know what your future would look like, but for the first time in a long time, it felt like you were going to be the one to define it. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

Yoongi was still your rock, even if things felt different now. The distance between you two, now that you were in another country, had stretched the connection in ways you didn’t quite expect. Sure, you had more conversations than when you lived under the same roof, but they were always brief and less meaningful. Med school had swallowed Yoongi whole, his residency demanding so much of his time and energy. Still, he always found a moment to check in. It was like a habit now—quick messages, updates on his day, sometimes more about his exhaustion than anything else.
“Residency’s kicking my ass, but I’m surviving,” he’d text. You could tell he was tired, not just from the demands of his profession but from the weight of the years he’d put into his studies. Yet, amidst the chaos, there was something that still kept him grounded. He’d mention how music, in the form of an old music set up he found in a second-hand store had become his salvation. It had become an unexpected escape for him.
As for Hoseok, things had changed too. It wasn’t that you and Hoseok didn’t care about each other—it was just that the busy lives you both led had naturally created more distance. Hoseok, now in business school, was submerged in the grind of classes, networking, and all the pressures of pursuing a future that had little to do with dance these days. You were glad he didn’t abandon dance completely though. The spontaneous texts, the late-night talks—all of that had faded away. It wasn’t intentional, just life pulling you both in different directions.
Yoongi would bring him up from time to time “Hoseok’s still in business school, right? He doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore.” It wasn’t a judgment, just a statement of fact. But then Yoongi would chuckle, and you could hear the amusement in his voice when he’d mention Hoseok’s latest endeavor. “He actually joined a street dance crew recently. I think he needed something to balance out the stress. You know how he is.”
But even with all of this change, you knew Yoongi and Hoseok still made time for each other. It wasn’t often, but sometimes, after a long week of med school or business school, they’d find a moment to grab coffee or hang out. It was rare—sometimes it was just a few hours, sometimes it was a quiet evening catching up. But you could feel, even from afar, that those moments meant something. They were still holding on to what they had, even if it was different now. Even when with you it was different. It was bound to happen you guess.

It was sometime during your second semester of Marketing when you met Daniel. Daniel—your first everything, really. Well, everything except for a kiss. You weren't quite sure what you had expected love to feel like when it finally arrived, but with Daniel, it wasn’t the way the movies had promised. There were no fireworks exploding in your chest, no immediate breathlessness. Instead, it felt... right. For the first time in a long time, your heart didn’t ache for someone you couldn't have. It didn’t hurt at all. It just settled, quietly, almost shyly, into something that felt warm and safe.
You remember how desperate you were to tell someone about him. Yeji and Jungkook were the first to hear, of course—dragged into a half-asleep conversation at three in the morning because you couldn't keep it to yourself. You whispered about him through your phone, clutching your pillow, smiling so hard your cheeks hurt. Jimin and Taehyung hadn’t been there for the call, but they heard about Daniel soon after, when you couldn’t resist gushing in your group chat. There’s someone, you had typed with trembling fingers. And I think he’s...different.
Your friends were supportive, naturally. They urged you to give it a shot, to open your heart a little. So you did. Hesitantly at first, like stepping into a pool and letting the water slowly rise up around your ankles.
Daniel was sweet—almost painfully so. He held doors open without thinking about it. He remembered the little things, like how you preferred hot chocolate over coffee, or how you always carried a book in your bag even if you knew you wouldn’t have time to read it. He listened—really listened—to your dreams, your fears, your stupid little stories from when you were a kid. He made you laugh, made you feel seen.
Your first date was cute in the way first dates should be. Nervous smiles, accidental brushes of hands, endless conversations about everything and nothing. You wore your favorite sweater, the one you always wore when you needed a little extra courage. You didn’t kiss him that night. You both wanted to, you could feel it, but somehow it felt more important to savor it, to not rush. To let it mean something.
The second date felt like an extension of the first—effortless, bright. He took you to a bookstore downtown and then for ice cream, and you thought, Maybe this is what it’s supposed to be like. You liked the way he looked at you, like you were some sort of wonder he couldn't believe was real.
And by the time three months had passed—after countless late-night texts, studying together until you fell asleep on FaceTime, clumsy jokes and shy confessions—you were officially dating.
You didn’t know it then, but this was your coming-of-age in motion. You were living it, one soft, uncertain step at a time. You were discovering how thrilling and terrifying it was to be vulnerable with someone, how it meant giving them all the parts of you you usually kept tucked away. There were nights when insecurity gnawed at you, when you wondered if you were saying the right things, doing the right things, being enough. But there were also nights when you felt braver than you ever had—when you realized that maybe growing up wasn't about erasing the fear, but learning to move through it anyway.
Daniel didn’t erase your insecurities. But he stayed. He held your hand through them. He was gentle with you, and in turn, you learned to be gentle with yourself.
It was imperfect. It was real. It was yours.

He was your first.
It was strange, in a way you hadn’t expected. Not bad—just unfamiliar, like stepping into a space you had only seen through windows your whole life. You tried to prepare yourself. You asked your friends at university about it, half-whispered questions between classes or after late-night study sessions, trying to piece together what it was supposed to feel like. You texted Yeji one night, fingers hovering over your phone before finally hitting send: "Is it normal to feel nervous even if you really like someone?" She replied almost immediately. "Of course. Just make sure you’re doing it because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. Trust yourself."
You trusted yourself. You were sure. You liked Daniel—you really liked him. He was sweet, patient, and never once made you feel rushed. He always waited for you to meet him halfway. If anything, you felt lucky to be figuring it out with someone like him.
Still, when the moment finally came, everything felt...awkward. Not wrong, just clumsy, new. You fumbled with your own nerves, overthinking every little thing—the way your hand should move, whether you were supposed to say something, how you were supposed to breathe. Daniel noticed, of course. He noticed everything. But instead of making it worse, he laughed softly and kissed your forehead, whispering something like, "It's just me. No pressure." And somehow, that made you exhale. That made you brave enough to keep going.
The experience wasn’t perfect. It was a little bit messy and a little bit shy, full of quiet giggles and whispered apologies when you bumped into each other awkwardly. But that was part of it, wasn't it? It was supposed to be a little messy. It was your first time learning someone else's body, learning how to be open and vulnerable in a way you had only ever imagined before.
Later that night, lying next to him with your heart still pounding from both adrenaline and tenderness, you texted Yeji again: "It felt weird but...good. Like...like it mattered." And she sent back a long line of hearts and a simple, "It should matter."
You realized then that growing up didn’t mean shedding the nerves or the awkwardness—it meant embracing them, allowing yourself to be imperfect and afraid and still moving forward anyway.
Daniel made it easier. He kissed the top of your head when you overthought. He held your hand when your mind raced ahead of your body. He was gentle with you in every way a person could be gentle, and you knew—even with the doubts, the clumsy moments—you were safe here. You were seen.
It wasn’t a grand, cinematic first. It didn’t look like the movies. It looked like two people trying. Two people caring. And maybe that was even better.

Your friends came to the US, and for a little while, everything felt perfect again.
It was supposed to be a vacation, a treat for surviving your first exhausting semesters abroad—but in so many ways, it felt like reality hitting, too. You were all growing up, you realized. No longer just kids hanging around the same streets, no longer seeing each other every day without trying. You were still tied together, still orbiting around each other's lives, but now there were new paths carving distances between you.
Jimin was specializing in dance at Korea University, pouring every bit of passion into perfecting his craft. Taehyung had decided he wanted to build something of his own, diving headfirst into Business at Yonsei University with a confidence only he could carry. Yeji—steady, kind, wise Yeji—had always known how to listen, how to see people, so it made perfect sense that she found her way into Psychology, also at Yonsei. And then there was Jungkook. Dreamy, sweet, endlessly respectful Jungkook who had once seemed like he could be anything and still somehow managed to surprise you by choosing the uncertain path: photography. He wanted to create things that made people feel, and for the first time, he was serious about it. Really serious.
They all had their own lives now. Their own dreams, their own schedules. And yet—they still chose to come see you. They saved up. They planned it months in advance. Because you weren’t going back home that winter.
The storm had ruined everything. Flights canceled, alarms going crazy, streets flooded and closed. You got your money back, sure, but it didn’t fix the hollow ache that came with realizing you wouldn’t be home for the holidays. You missed your parents. You missed your brother. You missed the warmth of Seoul, the comfort of streets you knew by heart. You missed your friends. You missed Hoseok.
You hadn’t even realized how much until you saw them at the airport, standing there with wide grins and sleepy eyes, dragging their suitcases behind them like lost kids finally found again. You ran to them without thinking, laughter bubbling out of you so fast it almost hurt. They pulled you into a messy, loud group hug, everyone talking at once, the smell of airport coffee and the sound of Yeji’s familiar giggle making your chest squeeze in the most beautiful, painful way.
It felt like nothing had changed. It felt like everything had changed.
The week they stayed was a blur of late-night talks, messy takeout dinners, walking around the city pretending you weren't all a little bit lost. You caught up on everything—Jimin’s dance competitions, Taehyung’s wild business ideas, Yeji’s long, quiet talks about the things people carry inside without ever saying them out loud. Jungkook showed you photos he hadn't shared with anyone else, images that looked a little like homesickness and a little like hope.
Somewhere in between the laughter and the stories, you introduced them to Daniel. It felt big, in a way. Daniel—sweet, kind Daniel who had quietly carved a space in your life over the past few months. The first person who made your heart feel less like an open wound and more like something steady and alive again.
They were curious, naturally. Protective, in the way old friends always are when they meet someone new in your world. But Daniel was... well, Daniel. Gentle, funny, endlessly patient with your friends’ teasing and Jungkook’s wide, curious eyes.
It was surreal to watch your old world meet your new one, to see them laugh together, to realize that somehow, you were weaving all these separate pieces of yourself into something that still made sense. Something that still felt like home.
When they left, you cried. Quietly, after they boarded the plane, tucked away in a corner of the airport where no one could see you. Not because you were sad, exactly. But because you had been reminded—so vividly, so achingly—that even across oceans and time zones, even as life pulled you all in different directions, some things were too deeply rooted to ever really be lost.
You had people worth missing.

Time moved faster than you ever thought it would. One minute you were adjusting to your first year in a foreign country, clinging to calls from home and late-night talks with your friends, and the next—you were standing on the edge of something new, about to graduate.
Somewhere between the lectures and late submissions, you’d found an internship at a mid-sized IT company. It wasn’t exactly where you pictured yourself when you first applied to University, but it taught you things you didn’t know you needed: how to hold your own in meetings, how to send a proper follow-up email, how to find small corners of pride in the work you did, even if no one else noticed it. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was yours. And for a while, that was enough.
Your parents had visited you throughout the four years you spent abroad—sometimes once a year, sometimes less if things at home got too busy. You made it back to Korea too, but only for the holidays. Sometimes for Chuseok, sometimes for Christmas. Always a week at most, a blink and you were gone again. There were years you saw Yoongi in those short trips, catching him between his packed shifts at the hospital, and there were years you missed him entirely, your schedules never quite aligning the way they used to. As for Hoseok—you hadn’t seen him properly in a long time. You heard about him through Yoongi mostly: how he got a corporate job, how he’d somewhat still found time to dance, chasing that old part of himself he couldn’t bear to leave behind. It was strange, the way time stretched between you and the people you once thought you'd never drift from. But you supposed that was just another part of growing up too.
Things with Daniel changed, as things sometimes do. You spent nearly two years together—growing, learning, falling in and out of rhythm. He met your parents during one of their visits to the U.S., and later, you introduced him to Yoongi too, when you finally managed a trip back home that lasted more than a handful of rushed days. Even Hoseok had been there that time, crashing a casual dinner you hadn’t planned on becoming so emotional. It had been... sweet, in a way. A small blending of past and present. You could still remember the way Daniel smiled nervously, how Hoseok had clapped him on the shoulder and said something that made your mother laugh until she was wiping tears from her eyes. For a little while, it felt like everything fit.
But life, as it tends to do, kept moving. Slowly at first, then faster. You both knew it was ending before either of you could say it out loud. He had plans that would take him across the country; you had dreams that hadn’t fully found their shape yet. The breakup wasn’t dramatic or messy—it was mutual, full of quiet sadness and lingering kindness. The kind of ending that didn’t leave you bitter, only a little older, a little wiser, a little more aware that love, no matter how good, sometimes simply isn’t enough to anchor two people in the same place.
By the time your graduation day arrived, it felt like everything had come full circle. Your parents flew in, proud and beaming, holding signs that embarrassed you more than you'd ever admit. You stood there in your cap and gown, diploma in hand, watching the last four years stretch out behind you like a film reel. There were so many things you still didn’t know. But standing there, blinking against the sun and the weight of it all, you realized maybe that was okay.
You had made it.

You hadn’t planned on coming back to Seoul right after graduation.
The original idea — the one you clung to through endless library nights and lonely winters — was to stay in the U.S. a little longer. Find a job. Maybe move to New York or Boston, chase the skyline, lose yourself in the noise. You had dreamed of it for so long it almost felt real. A life crackling with endless, towering possibilities.
But sometimes, life quietly rearranged your plans without asking first.
It was Yoongi who made the choice easier — or maybe just a little less terrifying. He was already a doctor by then, deep into the grind of hospital shifts that stretched until morning, his voice always a little rough around the edges when he called. But he still called. Somehow, despite the impossible hours and the exhaustion you could hear even through the static, he made time.
"You can figure things out here," he said simply. "You don’t have to do it alone."
And somehow, those few words — casual, tossed out like no big deal — cracked something open inside you.
Your parents had been supportive, too. Telling you there was always a place for you back home, a kitchen table with your seat still waiting. A life you could step back into if you wanted.
You thought about it. Really thought about it. About coming back to your childhood home, about building something steady and safe. About giving up the version of yourself you had fought so hard to create on your own.
But the truth was — you didn’t fit there anymore. Not in that version of yourself. Not in that house where the walls still remembered who you used to be.
And Seoul — restless, ruthless, electric Seoul — felt closer to who you were now. Or who you wanted to be, even if you didn’t quite know her yet.
So you said yes.
Landing back home was surreal. The airport smelled like coffee and humidity, like childhood and heartbreak all at once.
Your parents were there, waiting with open arms and bright, shining smiles that made your chest ache. Yoongi too — a little thinner, a little sharper, his white coat slung carelessly over his shoulder. He had carved two whole hours out of a packed schedule to have lunch with you all.
The food was delicious. The conversation was easy. For a little while, it felt like slipping on a favorite hoodie — familiar, broken-in, safe. Your brother teased you over side dishes. Your mother asked if you were eating enough vegetables. Your father told bad jokes that still somehow made you laugh.
It was perfect. Maybe too perfect.
Because later — after the plates were cleared and the hugs exchanged — you found yourself alone in Yoongi’s apartment. The afternoon light slipped in through the windows in muted gold streaks. Your suitcase sat half-unpacked by the door. Your phone buzzed weakly with half-hearted texts from your U.S. friends.
And you sat there, cross-legged on a couch that wasn’t yours, in a city that should have felt like home, with a degree tucked safely into your bag — proof that you had done it. You had finished what you set out to do.
You should have felt proud. You should have felt invincible.
Instead, you just felt... small. Small, and out of place, and a little bit scared.
Because no one told you how hollow it would feel to come back a different person — to find the same streets, the same shops, the same skyline — and realize you didn’t know how to fit yourself into it anymore.
No one told you that success could taste so much like loneliness.
You curled your arms around your knees, your forehead resting against them, feeling the old, familiar ache building quietly behind your ribs.
What if you weren’t enough here? What if you had changed too much — or not enough? What if all the growth you fought for overseas wasn't visible to anyone but yourself?
You stared at the muted blue of the carpet, your chest tight, your breath shallow.
Everyone kept telling you you were doing great. Everyone kept smiling like you had already won.
But they didn���t see the way your hands trembled sometimes when you opened a job application. They didn’t see the doubt gnawing at the back of your mind, whispering that maybe you weren’t as capable, as brilliant, as brave as you had tried so hard to seem.
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push the noise away.
You were home. You were supposed to be happy.
But sitting there, in the golden hush of Yoongi’s living room, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe — deep down — you were more lost than you had ever been.

Yoongi had warned you before you even sat down at lunch. "I'm on call tonight," he said, raking a hand through his hair, the circles under his eyes deeper than you remembered. "Might have to leave early if the hospital needs me."
You nodded, smiled — understanding the way you always had with him. Yoongi didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep. But he also belonged to the world now, not just to you.
Still, when his phone buzzed halfway through the meal and he stood with a sigh heavy enough to pull the air out of the room, it hit you harder than you expected.
"Sorry, kid," he said, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head. "We’ll catch up properly soon, okay? I swear."
And just like that, you were alone.
You thought, maybe, you could call Yeji. But she wasn’t in Seoul.
She had left for a volunteer project months ago — tucked away somewhere in the countryside, helping rebuild after the floods that summer. She sent photos sometimes: muddy boots, cracked hands, wide fields stretching past the horizon. She was doing something good, something real. But it meant that for now, she was a hundred miles away and unreachable.
You thought about Jungkook too. But he was gone, too.
A last-minute opportunity had whisked him across the world — a creative residency in London, something about music and exhibitions and a chance he couldn’t afford to miss. You had seen the announcement two weeks ago, his excited face lit up under the headline. You had smiled, proud of him, even as a little piece of you folded up inside.
It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Everyone was growing, reaching, becoming more than the little lives you used to share.
You were proud. You really were.
But it didn’t stop the quiet from pressing against your ribs now, in the backseat of the taxi, as the city blurred past — neon-bright, indifferent.
Yoongi’s apartment greeted you with nothing but stillness.
The keys scraped awkwardly in the lock. The door swung open onto spotless wood floors, pale walls, a couch too neat to be truly lived in. A few framed photos leaned on the shelves — crooked smiles, memories that didn’t include you anymore. A half-wilted plant sagged in the corner, stubborn and tired.
You dropped your suitcase by the door. Your sneakers thudded against the floor, the noise too loud, too sharp.
You stood there for a moment, your backpack still slung over one shoulder, your jacket still clutched in your hands — waiting, stupidly, for something to happen.
Nothing did.
You wandered to the kitchen, opened a cabinet, closed it again. The fridge buzzed, empty except for some yogurt cups and two lonely bottles of water.
You weren’t hungry. You weren’t tired either.
You were just... dislodged. Suspended between the life you had built so far away, and the life you were supposed to rebuild here.
You curled up on the worn couch, dragging an old blanket over your shoulders. Your phone sat face-down beside you, buzzing occasionally with messages you didn’t have the energy to answer.
The city pulsed just outside the windows — relentless, glittering, alive.
You stayed very still.
You thought about the degree tucked away carefully in your suitcase — proof that you had finished something, proof that you were supposed to be somebody now.
You thought about the friends who were oceans away, chasing their futures.
You thought about Hoseok, for a brief, aching second — but shoved the thought away before it could bloom into something dangerous.
And you realized, for the first time in months — maybe years — that you were really, truly on your own.
You buried your face into the scratchy fabric of the couch cushion, breathing in the faint scent of detergent and city dust.
You had made it home. You had done everything right.
So why did it feel like you had never been farther away?
Two weeks back in Seoul, and you were going crazy.
At first, it hadn’t seemed so bad. You told yourself you deserved a few days off — a few mornings sleeping in, a few afternoons wandering old streets like a ghost trying to recognize the bones of her old life.
But the days stretched, and the silence thickened, and the applications piled up.
You sat at Yoongi’s kitchen table every morning with your laptop open, wearing the same pair of sweatpants, staring blankly at cover letters you didn’t know how to finish.
Every listing sounded the same: dynamic self-starter. fast-paced environment. salary based on experience.
Experience you didn’t have. Confidence you were quickly losing.
You clicked "submit" on half-hearted applications and tried not to feel like you were throwing little pieces of yourself into a void.
You refreshed your inbox obsessively. Nothing. Or worse — polite rejections that started to feel like tiny fractures spider-webbing through your chest.
By the tenth day, even Yoongi noticed.
"You gotta get out of the house, kid," he said one night between bites of cold takeout, not even looking up from his medical journals. "You’re driving yourself insane."
You had flipped him off half-heartedly, too tired to argue.
He wasn’t wrong.
The walls of his apartment felt closer every day, pressing in. Your own brain felt like it was buzzing, restless and too loud.
You weren’t even sure who you were anymore. A college graduate? A jobless daughter? A drifting stranger in her own hometown?
You scrolled through your phone late at night, seeing snapshots of your old friends — the ones who had stayed in the U.S., the ones who had gotten promotions, internships, shiny new apartments.
Meanwhile, you were stuck here, pressing "apply" over and over into the abyss.
The only thing tethering you to sanity was the news that Yeji was coming back soon. Finally.
She texted you late one night, her photo blurry and grainy from bad countryside signal — muddy boots, windblown hair, wide grin. coming back next weekend, babe🌟 get ready for me 💥
You stared at the text for a long time, heart pinching.
Yeji — your Yeji — the one person who had always known how to pull you back when you drifted too far. Maybe once she got back, things would start to make sense again.
Maybe you wouldn’t feel so lost anymore.
Maybe.
You set your phone down on the nightstand, rolled onto your side, and stared at the pale ceiling above Yoongi’s borrowed bed.
You had thought coming back to Seoul would make you feel whole again. Instead, you felt like a puzzle with pieces missing — scattered and unfinished.
You pressed the heels of your hands against your eyes, breathing out slowly into the empty room.
Two weeks back, and you still didn’t know who you were supposed to be now.
It was a strange thing, feeling out of place in a city you had once dreamed about.
When you were a kid growing up in Gwangju, Seoul had always felt like the answer to everything — a glittering world just out of reach, buzzing with possibility. You were supposed to come here for university, supposed to start your life under these neon skies.
But life had shifted — the U.S. happened — and now, somehow, you were here years later, a little older, a little more worn down, and nothing felt the way you thought it would.
You told yourself this disorientation was new. Something about coming back after so long.
But if you were honest — if you stripped everything else away — maybe it had always been there, waiting underneath.
You had done what you were supposed to do. You had graduated. You had succeeded. You had come back to Korea because it felt safe. Familiar. Because a part of you still believed Seoul was the dream.
But sitting here, drowning in unanswered job applications, scrolling endlessly through postings you couldn't care less about, you were starting to realize: You hadn't just missed your family. You hadn't just missed the comfort of home.
You had missed yourself.
The version of you who moved through life with want instead of fear. The version who chased things for the thrill of it, not to prove a point. The version who said yes to a creative writing minor just because it set her chest on fire — not because it would ever fit neatly on a resume.
The internship at the mid-sized company? You had done that for the validation. For the polished bullet point you could show people back home, proof that you weren't wasting your time.
You sat back in Yoongi’s too-quiet apartment, your chest aching with the weight of all the things you hadn’t admitted until now.
Maybe the scariest part wasn’t that you didn’t know where you belonged. Maybe it was realizing you had built a life chasing a version of yourself you didn’t even recognize anymore.
The front door buzzed, sharp and sudden.
You blinked. You weren’t expecting anyone.
Another buzz, louder this time.
You stumbled up, crossing the room barefoot, and pressed the intercom.
"Star, open the damn door! I’m freezing!" a familiar voice crackled through — blurry but unmistakably Yeji.
Your heart nearly leapt out of your chest.
You flung the door open without even checking, and there she was — Yeji, standing in the hallway, messy ponytail, cheeks pink from the cold, dragging a battered duffel bag that looked about three times her size.
"You look like crap," she announced gleefully, before you could even say hi.
You laughed — this wild, cracked sound that burst out of your chest — and launched yourself at her.
Yeji caught you in a bone-crushing hug, the kind that squeezed the breath right out of you, and you held on like the ground might give out if you let go.
"I missed you, idiot," she muttered into your hair.
"I missed you too," you said, your voice splintering.
Later, you ended up sprawled on Yoongi’s worn-out couch, two mugs of cheap instant coffee between you, legs tangled together like you were sixteen again.
Yeji talked first — about the countryside, about building homes with her bare hands, about the long nights and longer bus rides. You listened, soaking up every word like sunlight after a long winter.
Then it was your turn.
You told her about the job applications, about the quiet panic that crept into your chest when you opened your laptop every morning. You told her how weird it felt to finally be living in Seoul — the Seoul you had dreamed about — and still feel like you didn’t fit.
Yeji didn’t interrupt. She didn’t laugh. She just listened, her face serious, her hand steady on the coffee mug between her palms.
"You don't have to figure it all out right now, you know," she said eventually, her voice soft but certain. "You’re allowed to just... be lost for a bit."
You looked down at your hands — at the invisible tremor you felt deep in your bones.
"But what if I forgot who I’m supposed to be?" you whispered.
Yeji smiled — the kind of smile that was a little sad, a little proud.
"Then maybe it’s time to figure out who you actually are," she said. "And not who you thought you had to be."
You swallowed hard.
Maybe she was right. Maybe it wasn’t about going back to who you were before. Maybe it was about giving yourself permission to start over — here, in this messy, uncertain, imperfect Seoul that didn’t look like your childhood dreams anymore.
Insecurities aside, you and Yeji had a sleepover — and it was pure, chaotic magic.
You dragged every pillow and blanket you could find into a giant mess on the living room floor, ordered enough fried chicken for a small army, and let yourselves be twenty again — loud, messy, unfiltered.
"Babe," Yeji said dramatically, waving a chicken drumstick like a magic wand. "You have missed so much, it’s actually criminal."
You snorted, reaching for a soda. "I was getting a whole-ass degree across the world, Yeji."
She rolled her eyes so hard you thought they might get stuck. "Babe, that’s not an excuse. Life was happening here!"
And then — casually, like she wasn’t about to emotionally assassinate you — she dropped it:
"Anyway, Jungkook set me up on a blind date."
You choked so hard on your drink you actually saw stars.
"WAIT. WHAT?!"
Yeji grinned like the evil little gremlin she was. "Yup. Your sweet little golden boy decided I was 'emotionally constipated' — his words, babe — and said I needed to get laid or I’d wither into a husk."
You howled with laughter, slapping the couch cushions.
"That sounds like Jungkook," you gasped. "I leave for five minutes and you’re getting pimped out like a drama character?!"
Yeji cackled. "AND GUESS WHAT. The guy? Actually hot. Actually amazing."
You sat up, alert. "Okay, DETAILS, BABE. I need the whole menu."
She leaned in like she was telling you state secrets.
"His name’s Namjoon. Works in publishing or editing or something sexy like that. He’s tall — like skyscraper tall — and he has dimples, babe. DIM. PLES." She clutched her chest like she was actually in physical pain.
You shrieked into a pillow.
"And he’s smart — like scary smart. He was talking about some book project and I swear, half the words he used aren’t even in the dictionary. I just sat there nodding like an idiot while falling in love."
You were CRYING laughing at this point. Yeji was full-body storytelling, waving her arms, reenacting every single moment.
"And THEN," she said, grabbing your wrist dramatically, "he took off his jacket, right? And — babe — the forearms. I was actually fighting for my life."
You wheezed. "Yeji, please, I’m BEGGING you."
"I’m not even joking, babe," she said solemnly. "The veins? The watch? I almost proposed."
You were half-sobbing, half-wheezing, sprawled backwards on the floor.
"And he listens, babe. Like actually listens when I talk. No pretending, no glazed-over look. Just... full attention. Like I’m saying something important."
Yeji’s voice softened a little then, and you caught the shine in her eyes.
You sat up properly, resting your chin on your knees. "You deserve that," you said, meaning it with your whole heart. "You deserve someone who looks at you like that."
Yeji smiled — that crumpled, overwhelmed smile she only got when she was trying really hard not to cry.
"And so do you, babe," she said fiercely, pointing a chicken bone at you for emphasis. "You deserve someone who doesn’t make you feel like you have to earn being loved."
Your throat closed up a little.
You grabbed a pillow and chucked it at her head instead of answering.
Yeji caught it, laughing, and for a little while, you just stayed like that — two girls in a blanket fort, talking about hot boys and scary feelings, trying to stitch yourselves back together with bad jokes and too much fried chicken.
The future could wait. Tonight, you had each other.
And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

The door swung closed behind him with a soft thud.
You stood frozen, blanket slipping off your shoulders, heart crawling painfully up your throat.
It wasn’t Yoongi.
It was Hoseok.
You stared — half-awake, half-shocked — as he stepped inside, keys dangling from his fingers, a bag of takeout clutched in one hand.
It had been a long time.
Too long.
He looked different.
Not drastically, not in a way most people would notice. But you noticed.
The set of his jaw was a little sharper. The shadows under his eyes, a little deeper. The way he carried himself now — less bounce, more quiet gravity — it was all there, woven into the lines of his body like threads only you could see.
Still, he smiled when he saw you — easy, warm, familiar.
Like he always did.
"Long time no see, Star," he said, voice low, a little rough around the edges from sleep and travel.
And you —
You, who had loved him quietly, hopelessly, across countless summers and half-shared glances — you felt the name hit you square in the chest.
You forced a smile back, your fingers tightening unconsciously in the sleeves of Yoongi’s hoodie.
"Yeah," you managed, your voice thinner than you wanted it to be. "It’s been a while."
The words hung awkwardly between you, like wet clothes refusing to dry.
Hoseok shifted, scratching the back of his neck, glancing around the apartment without really seeing it.
He didn’t seem uncomfortable, exactly. Just... unsure.
Like he felt the weight of the years too — heavy and clumsy on his shoulders — but didn’t know what to do with it.
You watched him set the bag of food down carefully on the counter, his movements slower, more measured than you remembered.
You wondered if he noticed it too — the space between you, cracked and uneven now.
Life had pulled you apart. Not in a dramatic, explosive way. No fights, no betrayals.
Just... time.
The slow, inevitable erosion of closeness when neither side tries quite hard enough to hold on.
And it hurt, in a way you hadn’t been prepared for.
Because you remembered — God, you remembered — every stupid little moment from when he was a permanent fixture in your life.
The late nights talking about nothing. The way he used to steal your fries and pretend it was a fair trade. The way he used to laugh — head thrown back, completely unguarded — like nothing in the world could touch him.
You remembered all of it. And looking at him now — older, quieter, somehow lonelier — you realized with a slow, sick twist of your heart:
He probably didn’t.
Or if he did, it wasn’t etched into his bones the way it was for you.
He was just here. Dropping off food. Smiling at you like you were an old photo he forgot he ever loved.
And yet — in the way his eyes softened when they landed on you, in the small crease that appeared between his brows when you hugged your arms tighter around yourself —
you saw something.
A flicker.
A question he didn’t know how to ask.
He felt something too. He just didn’t know what it was yet.
Yeji stirred on the couch behind you, groaning loudly and kicking off a blanket.
You both startled, breaking the heavy, fragile eye contact like it hurt.
Yeji cracked one eye open and grinned sleepily.
"Morning," she mumbled. "Hope I’m not interrupting a moment."
You flushed, ducking your head, while Hoseok huffed a laugh — easy, thoughtless — and turned toward the kitchen.
"No moment," he said lightly.
And it was true.
There was no moment.
Not really.
Just a hundred thousand memories humming between you — all the things you never said, and all the versions of yourselves you could never go back to.
You watched his back as he unpacked the food, your heart heavier than you wanted to admit.
You were older now. You were supposed to know better.
But you still wanted — in quiet, stupid, impossible ways — for him to turn around and see you.
Really see you.
For the first time.

The second his plane touched down in Seoul, Hoseok called Yoongi.
It was instinct, not thought — muscle memory after all these years.
He leaned back in the taxi seat, exhaustion creeping deep into his bones, phone pressed loosely against his ear. The scent of rain on hot pavement bled in through the half-open window.
Three weeks away — three weeks of conferences and endless business dinners in Singapore. It had been good, objectively. A success, by anyone’s standards.
But Hoseok couldn’t shake the hollow feeling that clung to him — something he didn’t want to name.
It wasn’t that he hated what he was doing. It was secure. It was safe.
It just... wasn't the same.
Not the way dancing had been. Not the way it set his veins alight and made him feel like he was alive instead of just existing.
He pushed the thought away, listening as the call rang through.
It went to voicemail.
Typical.
Yoongi was busier these days — a head doctor now, constantly sprinting from one emergency to the next. Hoseok didn’t take it personally. He just shot a lazy text instead: yo you home? just landed.
Yoongi’s reply came a few minutes later: not till lunch. you can wait there if you want. key still works.
No details. No explanations. Just Yoongi.
Hoseok smiled faintly, the way you do when you miss someone without even realizing it.
He checked the time — almost noon.
He figured he had enough time to swing by the old place — their favorite little restaurant tucked behind a pharmacy on the corner — grab some takeout, and settle in at Yoongi’s apartment to wait.
No big deal.
He wasn’t expecting anything.
Definitely not... you.
When he unlocked the door with his copy of the key (because yes, they were those friends — the kind who shared everything without ever needing to ask), he thought he’d find an empty apartment, cold and still.
He did not expect the first thing he saw to be you.
Blankets everywhere. Messy hair. Oversized hoodie swallowing your frame.
And you — standing there barefoot, half-blinking at him like you were still halfway inside a dream.
For a second — a full, frozen second — Hoseok's entire brain short-circuited.
Star.
The name crashed into him like a freight train.
He hadn’t thought about you in months — or maybe he had, in small, quiet ways he hadn’t dared to admit.
You looked... different.
Not in the way that was easy to name. Not just the longer hair or the softer shape of your face.
It was deeper than that.
You held yourself differently now — a little heavier, a little slower, like life had settled into your skin instead of sitting lightly on your shoulders like it used to.
Your body, too — he noticed it before he could stop himself.
The curve of your waist, softer and fuller than he remembered. The slight dip where your hips met the hem of the hoodie, barely hidden, barely decent. The way your legs — longer, stronger — braced you instinctively like you were ready to run, or maybe stay.
You were a woman now.
Not the messy little girl who used to chase after him and Yoongi, trying to keep up. Not the bright-eyed teenager he used to laugh with in the summers.
A woman.
And fuck, it hit him so hard he actually forgot how to breathe for a second.
You were still you — still that soft, stubborn, reckless light he remembered — but everything about you was heavier now, richer. Alive in ways that made something deep inside him ache and burn all at once.
You stared at him like you couldn’t quite believe he was real either.
He managed to pull himself together — just barely — and smiled.
It wasn’t the easy, boyish grin he used to throw at you years ago. It was something smaller. Older. Sadder, maybe.
"Long time no see, Star," he said, voice low and a little rougher than he meant.
You flinched — not in fear, but in recognition.
Like hearing that name had broken something open between you, something you had both tried so hard to bury.
He watched as you fumbled for words, clutching the hem of your hoodie, cheeks coloring even as you tried to act casual.
He could see everything — the nervous twitch of your hands, the way your breath caught at the back of your throat, the way your gaze flickered over him like you didn’t know where to land.
It mirrored the way he felt: unsteady, too full, too much.
You said something — something about Yoongi not being there — but Hoseok barely heard it.
He was too busy memorizing you all over again.
The small things. The new things. The old things you still carried, tucked carefully inside yourself.
Something twisted in his chest — something dangerous and familiar.
He hadn’t expected this. Hadn’t expected you.
And standing there, with your bare feet on the hardwood, hair tangled, hoodie slipping off one shoulder, blinking at him like he was a ghost — he realized, dimly, terrifyingly:
He was completely fucked.

Hoseok had always been a happy teenager. Full of energy, full of noise, full of this impossible need to fill every room he entered.
But there had always been a sadness, too — quiet, stubborn, tucked deep in the marrow of his bones.
Something about him made people notice. Maybe it was his laughter — loud and reckless, daring the world to keep up. Maybe it was the way he carried his heart in his hands without apology.
But there were moments —moments even then where all that light would slip through the cracks, where he felt older than he had any right to be.
He was sixteen when he first realized it — that feeling of being too much and not enough all at once.
He hid it well. With teasing, mostly. With jokes and grins and a devil-may-care attitude that made it easy for everyone else to believe he was fine.
And he was. Mostly.
Especially around you.
You, who he loved to tease more than anyone.
You, his Star — though you didn’t know it then.
You never really knew why he called you that. You never asked. And he never told you.
But it was a memory he kept tucked carefully inside him — something small and sharp he would trace with his fingers when the world got too loud.
It had been a bad day. Not catastrophic. Just... bad in the quiet, ordinary ways that left bruises you couldn’t see.
His parents arguing again like they did sometimes — voices rising, anger curling under the doors. He was fourteen. Reckless, restless, angry at everything and nothing.
So he ran. Not far — just far enough.
He ran to the one place that still felt safe. Your house.
His second home.
And there you were — not waiting for him, not expecting anything—just there.
Sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, a book propped open in your lap, your tongue poking out slightly in concentration.
You were eleven. Far too young to understand the heaviness he carried in his chest.
Far too young to realize you saved him that day without even trying.
He remembered pausing in the doorway, breathless from running, heart pounding against his ribs — and for once, not from movement.
He watched you for a second. Just breathing.
You, who were calm where he was chaos. You, who were stubborn and sweet — to everyone except him. (He liked it that way. He liked that he had to work for your smiles.)
You noticed him eventually — glanced up, wide-eyed and bright.
And without hesitation, you started talking — telling him about whatever story you were reading, voice eager, stumbling over the words in your excitement.
He didn’t hear a single thing you said. Not really.
He just watched.
Listened.
Let the sound of your voice — full of something he had almost forgotten how to feel — wrap around the cracks inside him.
He didn't understand why it mattered so much. Not then.
All he knew was that, for a few stolen minutes, the sadness in him quieted.
And when you smiled God, when you smiled
It was like a whole new universe cracked open right in front of him.
You were so full of life it made his chest ache. So bright it hurt a little to look at you.
So he called you Star.
Because you were.
Because you were light when he needed it most. Because you reminded him — in that stupid, reckless, perfect moment — that not everything in his world was broken.
And even years later — even now, older and quieter and heavier — he remembered.
That day. That smile. That moment of peace he hadn’t known how to ask for but found anyway.
His Star.
Always his Star.
Even if he never told you.
Even if you never knew.
#hoseok smut#hoseok x reader#bts smut#jhope#hoseok#hobi#bts jhope#bts hobi#jung hoseok#bts#jung hoseok smut#namjoon smut#yoongi smut#jin smut#jungkook smut#taehyung smut
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Possibilities of a Robin + Mike Partnership

Stranger Things has a LOT of characters and relationships between these characters. These two (Robin + Mike) have never interacted other than in group settings. So it is very strange that of the few bts photos we get, that they are included together.
If the writers have chosen to expand on their relationship (which I dearly hope they have), it opens a whole world of possibilities including both of their character arcs.
A Brother-Sister Relationship: Similar to the pairing of Dustin + Steve we could hope to see Robin in a guiding role. This would expand the scope of her character, but especially Mike’s. We don’t get to thoroughly explore Mike’s relationships with his siblings, and since Holly Wheeler is getting a larger role this season, we will get to explore this, which will open the door to his relationship with other sibling-esc relationships.
Queer Guidance: Robin will pick up on Mike and Will’s feelings towards each other as soon as she starts spending time with them. How she uses this knowledge can help build up Mike and Will’s relationship. It will also help Mike and Will to know that they aren’t alone.
Robin + Vicky: Allowing Robin and Vicky to work as a team helping Mike and Will, could strengthen their relationship, and help them understand themselves better.
Robin + Nancy: Robin creating a strong relationship with Mike could also allow for more conversations between Nancy and Robin, as they could work together to try and help or understand Mike and his struggles better. This bonding between the two could also lead to Robin coming out to Nancy. Which would create strong development for both characters.
Robin will be an conduit for Mike’s self discovery and/or acceptance. She will also be a mentor and someone Mike looks up to. Mike finally having somebody who is similar to himself, someone who will help to battle his internalized homophobia, someone who will help him realize that he can have relationships with women that aren’t romantic, and one’s with boys that are, will greatly expand and develop his character.
💌 MiKayKayRae
#mike wheeler#byler endgame#byler nation#fan theories#stranger things#robin buckley#lesbian#gay#queer#mentor#theories#mike queerler#will byers#vickie stranger things#rockie#Byler
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bts and how they would love their plus size s/o

pairings: bts x reader genre: fluff, smut, warnings: suggestive but also more, face sitting, thigh riding, body worship, possessive jungkook, hobo is a boob man, mr tongue technology, masterlist
Namjoon
loves to kiss your stretch marks. like absolutely loves them. loves to trace them as well
"they give me a map to loving you"
insists on cuddling on the couch, knowing there isn't a lot of room so you have to lay on him
"it's okay, baby, come lay on me"
loves when you where his clothes, especially when you only wear one of his shirts (loves how they barely cover your thighs)
his favorite physical part about you is your thighs, they literally make him drool
"c'mere babygirl. let me help you" when he sees you struggling with your thoughts. he knows you constantly think you're too heavy or big for him. he's not having it
holds your hips and guides your movements as you ride his thigh. loves knowing he can make you cum with just his thighs, flexing it and holding you tight.
Jin
also a thigh man but for different reasons (kind of)
loves wrapping his arms around you and holding you from behind
loves to make new recipes for you to try and test out
loves that he can provide for you and your shared love of food
"just one more minute, baby" when you try to get out of bed but he isn't done cuddling you yet
will happily hype you up in new clothes
"world wide beautiful" is your new title
his love of eating translates to other things as well
"please babygirl" as he pleads for you to sit on his face
will happily die under your pussy and the way your thighs clench around his head when you cum
loves to take care of you and provide for you
Yoongi
doesn't take anyone's shit when it comes to you
very protective lover
don't have to think around him at all
will only do interviews with weverse if even one person does an unflattering article about you (will sue anyone and everyone)
at first you are uncomfortable with his constant touches and hungry gazes but then they become almost comforting
always keeps snacks for you two to share, especially tangerines
writes numerous songs for you
loves to hold you with his hand resting on your stomach (will rub at the stretch marks and whisper absolute desire in your ear)
loves to claim you in his studio, vocal about his desire and love for you
passionate in his body worship of you, especially when he finds out how much you love his tongue and how it feels on you
"feel so good against me, princess"
Hosoek
loves to dress you and help expand your fashions sense
is the one to help you feel more confident in your body and happy to show it off
loves when you come home and do a fashion show of him in your new clothes (especially when you buy some lingerie)
can't keep his hands off of you
ever
loves how soft your skin is and is constantly fondling your curves
wants to just hold your breasts in his hands
says his hands could be a better bra for you (hates how you end up with marks from the wires in your bras and how they hurt at the end of the day)
loves to just randomly nibble at your skin (thinks it looks delicious and loves the giggles you make every time)
"all of this, just for me" as he thrusts deeply into you, kissing at your breasts
Jimin
loves how warm you are and will always be found cuddling you no matter where you both are
finds you absolutely adorable and smiles wide every time you come into a room
loves to dress you up and take pictures of you (keeps you as his lock screen and home screen)
can get jealous when other people look at you
"say you're mine, baby"
is there to listen and help you with your own body image issues,
is always there to remind you how beautiful you are
is completely into body worship
"look so pretty for me, all dressed up like this"
would also love face sitting to be honest. like cannot get enough of the way you look down at him, pulling at his hair as you cum
Taehyung
thinks nothing of your weight until he sees you looking in the mirror, holding and becoming insecure over every one of your "problem areas"
will have nothing of you thinking you have problem areas
thinks you're a goddess
"all art work must be thoroughly examined to be fully appreciated"
will spend hours making you feel good and loving on each of you "problem areas" tell you each reason why he loves you
loves to see you in his jackets,
ends up buying matching outfits for you to wear out
will kiss you every couple minutes, just because he loves the feeling of your lips
Jungkook
would be the person to keep going to the gym for you
"I will always be able to carry you"
loves to manhandle you (knowing you get absolutely horny for him when he does so)
is possessive of you and your body
loves when you were dresses that are sort of revealing because it means you're feeling good in your body (and he's the only one who can touch you)
his favorite position is when you ride him so he can see all of you
especially loves watching your breasts bounce from each thrust up he makes
loves seeing his handprints on your hips or ass from you riding him
is also into body worship because he loves your body and just how perfect it is for him
"so perfect for me, baby. take my cock so well"
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forest hookup | pjm



prompt: sex with jimin late at night in the forest
♡ pairing: bf!jimin x fem!reader
⸝⸝ warnings: smut, bts jimin, fem reader, bf jimin, orgasm, cumming, risky, forest sex, kissing, bts jimin, PASSIONATE
♡ word count: 712
⸝⸝ note: kinktober 🤍 day eighteen :)
• nsfw/18+
kinktober masterlist
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the moon hung high in the sky, casting a silver glow over the quiet forest. the air was cool and crisp, filled with the scent of pine and earth. you had come here to escape the chaos of the city, seeking solace in the tranquility of nature. little did you know, you weren’t alone.
as you wandered deeper into the woods, you heard a rustling nearby. curiosity piqued, you turned to find him—tall and lean, with relaxed blonde hair that glinted in the moonlight. He stepped closer, his eyes sparkling with mischief and desire.
“ironic meeting you here,” jimin said, a playful grin spreading across his face. you rolled your eyes, not surprised he had followed you here after a big argument. you had always felt drawn to him, even when you were mad at him. now, with the forest as your backdrop, that attraction ignited into something more.
without thinking, you closed the distance, your lips crashing against his. the kiss was passionate, a fierce clash of wanting and need. his hands found your waist, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing against yours.
the soft sounds of the forest faded away as you lost yourself in each other. you stumbled back against a tree, the rough bark pressing against your back as he crowded you. the world around you disappeared, leaving just the two of you and the heat building between your bodies.
“here?” you whispered breathlessly, glancing around to ensure you were truly alone. the thrill of being out in the open only heightened your desire. jimin smirked, his eyes dark with lust. “why not?”
with that, he took your hand, guiding you to a small clearing where the moonlight illuminated the ground. the soft grass beneath you felt inviting as he pressed you down, his body hovering over yours, blocking out the world. he kissed you again, slower this time, savoring every moment.
his hands explored your body, tracing the curves of your waist, the softness of your skin. you gasped as he found the hem of your shirt, lifting it just enough to expose your midriff. his warm touch sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you.
''god, you're so beautiful,'' he murmured against your skin, his breath hot and teasing.
you responded by arching your back, craving more of his touch. he obliged, his lips trailing from your neck down to your collarbone, leaving a path of heat in their wake. you tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer, urging him on.
the forest was alive with the sounds of night, but all you could hear was the heartbeat of desire thrumming between you. you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as he pressed against you, the friction sending waves of pleasure coursing through both of you.
“please,” you breathed, the need in your voice evident.
he looked into your eyes, his expression a mix of mischief and passion. in one swift motion, he positioned himself, and you gasped at the sensation of him filling you completely. the world around you faded even more, leaving just the two of you lost in each other. everu thrust was met with a soft moan, the sound echoing in the quiet night, mingling with the rustle of leaves and the distant call of an owl.
the connection between you deepened with each movement, your bodies moving in perfect harmony. time seemed to stand still as you surrendered to the pleasure, the forest becoming your sanctuary, a hidden world where nothing else mattered.
as you reached your peak, the world exploded in a flurry of sensations, and you clung to him, your cries mingling with the night. he followed soon after, the two of you shattering into ecstasy beneath the moonlight.
breathless and spent, you lay together in the clearing, wrapped in each other's arms, the forest enveloping you in its serene embrace. the night was magical, and you knew this secret would forever be etched in your memory.
''i'm still mad at you.'' you say, staring up at the bright stars that sprinkled above in the sky, hiding a small grin. ''yeah right.'' jimin says, snuggling his face into your neck as you both lay on the grass.
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tags: @ririkookiemonster @rispwr
(comment/dm to be added)
#bts#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts x reader#kpop#bts smut#park jimin#bts jimin#jimin x reader#jimin smut#bts fanfiction#bts ff#jimin bts#bts army#bts layouts#jimin#jiminie#jiminsmut#jimin smuts#jimin ff#jiminbts#smut#smuts#bts smuts#smut bts#kinktober#kinktober 2024
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BTS : Members and their Future Person's Current Energies Tarot Reading
Paid readings are open :)
This reading is for entertainment purposes
1. Kim Seokjin and Future Person



For Jin, it looks like he is fully enjoying his time and connecting with his spiritual side. He is becoming more and more aware of himself and what he can do to become a better version of himself. He might also be planning for the future carefully which includes a lot of personal endeavors too. Careful strategies about how and when to move forward with new activities and projects. He is being approached by many other famous people too for collaboration. Looks like he has many people behind his back who envy him and the group's success. A lady who is eyeing him waiting for his downfall.
Jin's FP is currently balancing their energies. They are trying to reach some kind of personal milestone that they have been working hard on. His FP is someone who might be well established in their career already and is about to reach a new peak. Just like Jin, they might be connecting with their spiritual side and could be even traveling soon. They might have just undergone a huge transformation that might lead them to meet Jin. (Or they could have met already?)
2. Kim Namjoon and Future Person



RM's energy feels similar to Jin's. Even though he might be in Military service he is already working on his future plans, making strategies about what to do after military. He might even open his own personal brand or write a book in the future. He is taking everything slow and appreciating his life more than ever or could be appreciating someone in his life who is making him feel grounded. He is definitely considering doing something else like a parallel career or something to bring out his creative side. I am also getting something about showing his real self to the people.
His FP is also working on themself currently. Their energy is all about getting the bag for themself. They are welcoming abundance in their life and might be in a joyous period of their life. I am getting a lot of energy from them also very excited. Just like Jin's FP, Rm's FP energy is heavenly fixated on being financially independent. They might come from a wealthy family but they want to be a self-made person and they are already walking towards it.
3. Min Yoongi and Future Person



Just like Jin, there is a deceptive and envious energy present near him. This could be the same woman or someone with dominant feminine energy who is lurking and trying to drag him down in any way possible. Yoongi is doing fine but he is thinking about either getting financial advice from someone professional or might be too focused on earning finances right now. He is thinking about his future too and looking forward to changing his views about the world? Something inside him has changed and he might be in a situation where he is looking for a way to escape it safely.
Yoongi's FP- They are also kind of in a similar energy right now? They might have been deceived by someone near to them or this is someone keeping an eye on them and not in a good way. (The man in the first picture is really creeping me out). But they are supported by their angels, also this is someone Spiritual and awakened. Might be into spirituality and religion too. They have the support of their Angels and guides and whoever is trying to harm them won't affect them in any way. His FP might be currently in a loving connection with someone(maybe) or is looking for a caring connection with someone.
4. Jung Hoseok and Future Person



Jhope- He is feeling enthusiastic. Many doors with plenty of opportunities have opened up for him recently making him busy and happy at the same time. (uhm uhm) might be in a romantic relationship too with someone he deeply adores. Out of all the above members, his energy feels lighter. But there is also a warning for him to look out for someone who might want to backstab or spread rumors about him. This could also be someone who he knows personally. He is either being challenged currently or will be in the future. Or it could be he too pushing his ways to attain perfectionism.
His FP- Just like Jhope, his FP's energy is also lighter. They feel like someone who comes from a wealthy and well-known background. Their energy is giving me "Richie rich" vibes. They could also be serving their community in any way. Might be even on a vacation enjoying their time and appreciating the beauties of the nature. They are pursuing their goals and balancing themself. They could be in a transitional period in their life where everything is shifting for their highest good.
5. Park Jimin and Future Person



Jimin- He might have recently gone through a major transformation or currently might be at the end of completing a cycle. He is letting go of everyone and everything that doesn't serve him anymore. He is looking out for something or someone, He feels like he is tied up to his current situation. He needs to make a very important decision but is hesitating. He is taking his time but fails to reach a conclusion. There are multiple options in front of him and this could be majorly about his career. He must make this decision for himself because I heard nobody is coming to save you again. He kind of also felt betrayed or disappointed by someone.
Jimin's FP- His FP is on a different journey than him. Their energy is about love and not just self-love but also romantic love. The cards say it all. They are currently enjoying their time with someone they love and care about deeply, not this is just about romantic connection but also their family and friends. They are in opposite energy to him, where Jimin feels indecisive, and his FP is on the journey to find themself and what they want from life. Even could be traveling with their loved ones too. This could also talk about them mending their personal relationships with their loved ones.
6. Kim Taehyung and Future Person



V- He could be facing some issues related to his emotions and his guides are stepping in to help him go through it smoothly. He is also realizing what he actually wants from life and what not. He is done being played and now wants to take control of his emotions and decisions. He is investing in himself a lot lately and letting go of all the unhealthy attachments he had from the past. This could be someone who wasn't good for him or energy and kind of had him under their control. But now that he has realized it he is letting go of them and anything that might be related to them. He is ready to commit or is already committed to becoming the best he can. He might be signing a contract with something or someone that might benefit him a lot in the future.
His FP- It looks like his FP is on their spiritual journey. They could have recently begun their journey and are evolving spiritually. I heard- they are on their soul path and fulfilling their soul's purpose. There could have been problems in their throat chakra- not being able to speak their truth but they overcame it and are now stepping into their power. They know their path is difficult and they could face a lot of storms but they are determined to work and become their best version just like V. Diffcut time might be approaching for them but they are ready to face it.
7. Jeon Jungkook and Future Person



Jungkook- He has been healing a lot in silence. He has been on a healing journey for quite a long time and is already on his way to bringing positive changes in his life. His life is opening up and he is breaking free from some addictions/energies that were holding him back from being his highest version. New doors of abundance and opportunities are opening for him right now or in the upcoming days. He is doing well, receiving blessings from the Universe, and spending his time being more creative than ever. Again, he could be working on his skills silently more like polishing them. There could be a female or someone with dominant feminine energy in his life - a friend, romantic interest, mentor,r or his mom who could be helping him deal with his personal issues.
His FP- I heard they are soul-searching and questioning everything they are feeling currently. They want to know what they are supposed to do in their life and could be balancing a lot of things from the past. External forces might have pushed them to go inward and find this balance. Angels are guiding them through this soul-searching path they are on. They could be very spiritual. They are embracing their own powers and strengths. Taking control of their life and making their own decisions. Similar to Jungkook, new doors of abundance but mainly in the form of spiritual powers are opening up for them because they might have done some really hard spiritual work in the past.
#tarot#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#kpop tarot#celebrity readings#celebrity tarot#bts tarot#jin tarot#namjoon tarot#yoongi tarot#jhope tarot#jimin tarot#taehyung tarot#jungkook tarot
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a simple stray kids guide (for baby stays) ✨

overview: stray kids, or skz for short, is an 8-member korean boy band that debuted on march 25th, 2018 under jype ent. they were formed through a survival show in 2017 with originally 9 members, but one member left the group a year after debut for unknown reasons. there are three subunits to the group: 3racha the rap/producer unit, danceracha the dance unit, and vocalracha the vocal unit. of course, though, all of them do a bit of everything.
stray kids were considered an “experimental group” since the leader of the group was tasked with choosing all the members himself, and coming up with the name, logo, and fandom name of the group. as a group, they produced all their own music as well. they were relatively small for a while but by the time they released their song god’s menu, they were growing in popularity.
now stray kids have had many accomplishments, including: performing at lollapalooza twice, being the first k-pop group invited to the met gala, becoming ambassadors for brands like versace and gucci, winning around 80+ awards, and producing an ost for the deadpool movie. they've also recently set a guinness world record for the first ever group to have #1 albums 5 times in a row over the course of only 8 months!
while they are incredibly talented and successful celebrities, they’re also very down to earth, and very connected with their fanbase. they’ve shown openness and vulnerability with their fans by releasing songs with serious topic matters, crying on stage, and talking about their emotions/experiences. personally, they’re the only band i’ve ever seen who feel genuine love for their fanbase.

name: chan bahng
english name: christopher
stage name: bangchan, cb97 in 3racha
age: 27 (october 3rd, 1997)
nationality: australian-korean
languages: english, korean
positions: leader, producer in 3racha, dancer, rapper, vocalist
skzoo: wolfchan
instagram: gnabnahc
basics: chan was born in korea, but moved to australia when he was about 3 or 4 years old. he remained there with his two younger siblings, hannah and lucas, and their cavalier king charles mix named berry, until he was 13 when he went back to korea to become a k-pop trainee. he trained for about 7 years until he was finally able to debut as stray kids’ leader. chan is very reliable as the leader and dad of the group, but he’s also australian, so he adds to the chaos very well.
fun facts: chan has hypermobile arms and legs, and can turn his hand 360°. he sometimes wears wrist and knee braces due to overextension. chan won many medals in swimming growing up and could’ve gone into that career. along with that, he’s also good in many other sports like soccer and track. chan's hair is naturally curly!

name: minho lee
english name: rhino (yes i’m serious)
stage name: leeknow
age: 26 (october 25th, 1998)
nationality: korean
languages: korean and basic english
positions: lead dancer in danceracha, vocalist, rapper
skzoo: leebit
instagram: t.leeknowsaurus
basics: minho was born and raised in korea as an only child, aside from his cat siblings soonie, doongie, and dori. he moved out of his parents’ home at a fairly young age in order to be closer to his university, where he was said to have studied dance and comp-sci, as well as worked as a waiter for some time. he was called in to train under jype in 2017 and he ended up passing the dance test in only 2 weeks, the shortest period among jype trainees. minho is considered to be a “tsundere” since he’s very blunt, loud, and a bit rough generally, but is very kind and caring inside.
fun facts: minho toured in japan with bts as a backup dancer when he was in highschool. minho has acrophobia, the severe fear of heights, and he cannot swim. minho is well-trained in taekwondo, boxing, and bodyguard martial arts. minho said that the reason he isn’t comfortable showing his abs like some other members do is because he has a scar on his stomach from a surgery he had as a child.

name: changbin seo
english name: lewis
stage name: spearB in 3racha
age: 25 (august 11th, 1999)
nationality: korean
languages: korean and intermediate english
positions: producer in 3racha, main rapper, vocalist, dancer
skzoo: dwaekki (pig-rabbit)
instagram: jutdwae
basics: changbin was born and raised in korea, along with his older sister, in a fairly wealthy family. he originally joined jype as a trainee at age 17 to debut as a vocalist, but was convinced to debut as a rapper by a counselor. unfortunately i don’t know much about changbin’s trainee days, other than he trained for about 2 years, and he was part of 3racha who uploaded their first rap song on soundcloud in 2017. changbin is a pretty silly and loud person, but has been described by his members as someone they can approach and who will notice/remember the smallest things about them.
fun facts: changbin prefers plants as he’s allergic to both cats and dogs. changbin is a blackbelt in taekwondo, and he named his own pecs "jut" and "dwae". changbin has said he would like to own his own gym or be a tattoo artist. changbin is the shortest member at 5 '6. changbin was named the fastest male rapper in the k-pop industry with 11 korean syllables per second, i believe.

name: hyunjin hwang
english name: sam
age: 24 (march 20th, 2000)
nationality: korean
languages: korean and advanced english
positions: dancer in danceracha, vocalist, rapper
skzoo: jiniret
instagram: hynjinnnn
basics: hyunjin was born and raised in korea as an only child, along with his long-haired chihuahua, kkami. he was approached by two k-pop company scouts at a young age, one of which while he was out shopping with his mom. and, of course, he chose jype. he trained as a dancer, and admitted he had hated dancing at first due to the emotional toll it took on him, but now he says dance is like another language he can speak. unlike minho, he attended university online, all during his busy career as an idol. hyunjin is introverted, but very silly and dramatic at the same time.
fun facts: hyunjin has a fear of sudden loud noises, like balloons popping. hyunjin is the tallest member at 5 '11. hyunjin was going to be an interior designer before he became an idol. hyunjin is an artist in multiple forms of media, but he’s most interested in sketching and painting. hyunjin had a live called “counseling center” where he would read his fans’ comments and give them advice/encouragement. hyunjin once broke his hand and now he can't really bend his right pinky finger.

name: jisung han
english name: peter
stage name: han, and j.one in 3racha
age: 24 (september 14th, 2000)
nationality: korean
languages: korean and advanced english
positions: producer in 3racha, rapper, dancer, vocalist
skzoo: han quokka
instagram: _doolsetnet
basics: jisung was born in korea like his older brother. his family moved to malaysia when he was about 8, where they stayed for a while before coming back to korea. his parents weren’t particularly supportive of his desire to become a trainee at first, but they made a deal with him that if he could be accepted into a company before a certain amount of time, they’d let him continue. if not, he’d have to go back to school to get another job. luckily he made it into jype, and became chan’s very first member of choice. like hyunjin, jisung is an introvert, but he’s very loud and energetic at the same time.
fun facts: jisung started learning english in malaysia, which may be why his accent when speaking english is faintly british. jisung has been open with his fans about his struggles with social anxiety and depression. he also supposedly has trypophobia, the fear of clusters of holes, but that isn’t proven. jisung has a bichon frise named bbama. jisung and hyunjin were the real enemies to besties.

name: yongbok lee
english name: felix
age: 24 (september 15th, 2000)
nationality: australian-korean
languages: korean, english, basic french
positions: dancer in danceracha, vocalist, rapper
skzoo: bokkari
instagram: yong.lixx
basics: felix was born and raised in sydney, australia, with his older sister raechel and his younger sister olivia. he was 17 when he moved to korea to become a trainee at jype, where he studied korean at the same time, as his parents didn’t raise him to speak the language very much. it’s been said by chan that he was particularly hard on felix during their time before debut because he saw potential in him, and he wanted him to do his best to succeed. felix is known as the sunshine of the group, for the fact that he’s incredibly sweet and happy.
fun facts: felix debuted his runway model career at a louis vuitton fashion show. felix is a 3rd degree black belt in taekwondo, which he won 63 medals in over the course of 12 years. felix has a very deep voice that doesn’t match his face, and he will occasionally make his own asmr content. felix has volunteered in laos with/become an ambassador for unicef. felix is so afraid of scary things, he’s admitted to reading his bible after watching a horror movie. felix cries easily.

name: seungmin kim
english name: sky
age: 24 (september 22nd, 2000)
nationality: korean
languages: korean and advanced english
positions: lead vocalist in vocalracha, dancer, rapper
skzoo: puppym
instagram: miniverse.___
basics: seungmin was born and raised in korea, along with his older sister. he moved to LA as a child for only about 3 months, but that’s where he started his study in english and where he got his english name from a teacher. he trained for one year after winning 2nd place in jype’s 13th open audition, before debuting with stray kids. seungmin is basically an ambivert (it’s not conclusive if he’s introverted or extroverted), and tends to playfully bully his members. he can be pretty random and silly.
fun facts: seungmin wanted to be a baseball player before becoming an idol, and he actually pitched a strike at a game for the second time recently (the first time he was about 9 years old). seungmin was into boxing, although i’m not sure if he is anymore. seungmin and felix have a live called “cat puppy school” where they just mess up recipes constantly. seungmin is the only idol i’ve seen that seems to have autistic traits, from my own autistic prospective. i’m not diagnosing him of course!

name: jeongin yang
english name: bobby (i refuse to call anyone under the age of 60 bob)
stage name: i.n
age: 24 (february 8th, 2001)
nationality: korean
languages: korean and intermediate english
positions: vocalist in vocalracha, dancer, rapper, maknae
skzoo: foxi.ny
instagram: i.2.n.8
basics: jeongin was born and raised in busan, korea, along with his older brother who’s in the military, and his little brother yoon. he was a trainee for about 2 years, and was only 17 when they officially debuted. he bonded especially with hyunjin, who basically took him under his wing at the time. jeongin is introverted, but follows his hyungs’ lead into chaos. he’s very clumsy, and he’s known as the spoiled maknae. the “baby bread” of the group.
fun facts: jeongin wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, social worker, or priest before becoming an idol. jeongin has a more nasally voice, so he’s particularly good at the trot singing style. jeongin has claimed he was a naughty child, running away from home and laying down in the middle of stores when he couldn’t get what he wanted. jeongin is incredibly good with fashion, so his members come to him for advice, and he often posts ootd’s on his instagram.
#original content#positivity#safe space#sfw only#aesthetic#kpop#stay-dazed#stray kids#skz#stray kids introduction#stray kids guide#baby stay#stray kids everywhere all around the world#you make stray kids stay#you make stay stay#we love you stray kids#bangchan#lee know#changbin#hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#seungmin#jeongin#stray kids ult group
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