#guy who likes things with wires and circuits a normal amount

[roadkill-punk]

Been a minute since I made one of these

[honeytea8]

“Mister Fix-it” - Josuke/gn!Reader

A/N: Something I posted a while back on AO3 and now I’m dumping it here, I edited it to be gender neutral, pls let me know if I missed anything, enjoy!

Word Count: 2.7K

Summary: When your brand new air conditioning system doesn’t live up to the hype, you’re left with no other choice but to call Josuke Higashikata, the neighborhood handy-man and Morioh’s local heartthrob. (Post-canon; Josuke is 19/Reader is 23ish)

There is not a single ‘moderate’ thing about the summers in Morioh Cho and you come to this shocking discovery during your very first year back in this crazy, noisy town.

One early morning, a wave of heat sweeps in like a thief in the night, creeping over your body and making your nightshirt cling to you like second skin. A relentless force of nature that saps any residual moisture in the air. Everything is left high and dry—you lament over your dying succulent.

You can’t count how many cups of ice water you’ve guzzled or how many cold showers you’ve taken just to end up sweaty again, but something’s got to give. The day after Kai Harada announces the possibility of record-breaking temperatures in the following weeks, you delve into your emergency savings for a solution only money can buy.

Two days later, a portly electrician comes and installs a new air conditioning system for your home. He’s yammering on about how it’s supposed to be the best on the market. State of the art and all that jazz. You don’t really care for the details; you just want to be comfortable in your own house lest you end up a melted pile of goo. Who the hell would take care of your vegetable garden then?

You inspect the newly installed system with subdued interest. Truthfully, it doesn’t look like anything but an eyesore that’s completely thrown off the ambiance of the entire living room. It’s practically hanging out of your window. However, the only thing keeping you from complaining about its appearance is the dusty fan overhead that’s been circulating the same muggy, warm air for over an hour now. You prefer functionality over appearance, screw feng shui, you needed this AC.

“So, you’re positive it'll cool down the entire house?” you question one final time.

As if to prove his point, the electrician flicks a switch and the machine attached to the wall comes to life. The droning hum is annoying and would take some getting used to but it’s blowing the coldest air you’ve felt in a while. Both you and the electrician remain standing in front of it for a few seconds, basking in wonder.

Like magic, the heat-induced stress and tension leave your body all at once.

“Well then,” you say with a smile, “It’ll do.”

One week. Seven days. A hundred-and-sixty-eight hours of pure, absolute, uninterrupted bliss. You are in heaven! Your plants are flourishing as usual, and you aren’t sweating profusely like a pig for slaughter. Life is oh so good.

Until you wake up on the eighth day at four am with the worst case of cotton-mouth you’ve ever experienced.

You tumble out of bed, delirious from the sudden onslaught of heat that has transformed your bedroom into a sauna. Loose cotton sheets tangle with your ankles and you hit the ground, chin scuffing against the floor in your haste. The adrenaline pumping through your veins keeps you from wincing, or even feeling the pain. All you can hear is the sound of your own two feet pounding on the polished wooden staircase.

“Please, no, no, no, no—“

You sweep into the living room only to find the new air system is completely silent and no amount of switch-flicking or button-punching is going to change that. Mouth screwing into a scowl, you glare at the overpriced piece of junk with unbridled disdain.

This has become personal.

A hard smack from the palm of your hand to the surface of the machine echoes through the room—still nothing, not even a stirring. 

Big fat tears well up in your eyes. Whatever hormones fueling your rage are now flooding you with sadness. Your hand and chin are throbbing from the pain. The money spent on this crap was gone and now you’d have to shell out another hefty amount just to get it fixed. You want to pull out your hair in frustration.

Glancing around the room, everything is so still and calm. It’s still quite early in the morning, a few hours before dawn and you are tired as hell. The heat is making you lethargic, so after drying your tears and chewing on some ice cubes, you curl up on your sofa and go back to a fitful sleep.

.

.

.

Later in the day, you’re hanging clothes out on the line when your neighbor comes out to greet you.

She’s a grandma who lives alone except for when her grand kids come to visit, and despite her penchant for being a nosy gossip, you kind of like her. She waves and meanders over to the edge of her fence. 

“This is some heat, I tell you.”

“Right! I didn’t realize Morioh could even get this hot,” you pick up another sheet and toss it over the wire. “Would you believe that I spent two paychecks on an air conditioner that doesn’t even work.”

Your neighbor gives you a look of pity. “Oh dear, such a shame.” You watch as she adjusts the chairs and tables around her patio.

“You know, I have a teacher-friend with a son who has a knack for fixing things. Had him take a look at my plumbing a few weeks ago and he had it working right as rain. I can ask him to come by and take a look at it for you.”

You shuffle the empty bamboo basket in your arms. “I...guess that could work. Have him drop by sometime.” 

What’s the worst that could happen?

Two days later, you’re tending to your many plants—because you’d be damned if another died because of this heat—when a Greek god falls from the sky and onto your doorstep.

“Hi! I’m Josuke Higashikata, your neighbor said you had a problem with your air conditioner.”

To say you’re surprised would be an understatement: the young man standing on your porch is a damn stunner. His pouty lips, broad shoulders, and slim waist are more than enough to fuel a wet dream or two. Your brain short-circuits for a solid minute. Is it hot in here or what?

(And for once, you aren’t talking about the actual weather.)

He shifts nervously from one foot to another when you don’t immediately respond, but all you can do is stare. You’re thirsty for more than just a drink of water right now.

“Um,” he looks down at the sticky note in his hand and mumbles to himself. “This is the address, right?”

That snaps you out of your stupor. You internally berate yourself for looking like a gaping idiot in front of this knockout.

“YES! Ahem—yeah, y-you’re at the right place.” you move aside and allow him in. And good Lord, he’s tall. You wouldn't mind climbing that beanstalk.

Josuke is dressed in a striped yellow tee and pair of boardshorts that fit just right, a real sight for sore eyes.

You try not to swoon and realize rather belatedly that your own attire isn’t hiding much from view. Since the air conditioner stopped working, you reverted back to wearing tank tops and shorts around the house. Josuke, for what it's worth, isn't ogling you but he’s obviously noticed if his reddened cheeks are anything to go by.

“Right over here.” You say breezily.

The sway in your hips is subtle enough that it doesn’t look intentional. You guide him over to where the AC is sitting in the wall like a heap of scrap metal. Josuke didn’t bring any tools with him, so you’re skeptical about how he plans on fixing it. Honestly, even if he can't, you plan on making the most out of this.

You enter the kitchen adjacent to the living room, allowing him to take a look at the thing without you hovering.

As you’re straightening out the dining table, you ask, “So, how old are you, Josuke? You look a little young to be a handy-man.”

There’s a pause in his movements. “I just turned nineteen!”

Your fantasy dies a swift death somewhere deep within the dredges of your subconscious. Of course he’s young, as if you hadn’t noticed. Dialing back on the flirtation, you hum out an ‘oh cool’. The last thing you want to be is a cradle robber!

You aren’t that much older than him...but it still feels a bit wrong? You’ve never been with a younger guy before.

A startling hum resounds throughout the house and you feel a gust of cool air coming from overhead. Josuke has managed to fix it! You rush back into the room just in time to catch him stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“All done!”

“That—That was really quick? What was wrong with it?”

Josuke only shrugged. “Not sure, but it seems to be working now.”

You stare uncomprehendingly.

“So...was there anything else you’d like me to fix?”

Blinking you look around for something but come up short. “No, not unless you can bring plants back to life.”

Now it’s Josuke’s turn to blink as he takes a look around with wide eyes. He hadn’t noticed all the plants in the various corners of your home, he had been too distracted by—

“Which ones?” He says before he can stop himself.

You point to the succulent perched on the coffee table, it’s dried up and brittle in some parts, but it’s not completely dead. He kneels down to its height, touches some of its chubby petals. Then he silently calls on Crazy Diamond and with a single touch, it’s restored back to its normal health.

A few years post-Yoshikage Kira, Josuke has gotten a lot better with his powers, utilizing his stand with ease. He turns and gives you a smile and has no idea he’s giving you heart palpitations just by looking like that.

“Woah! Josuke, what the hell was that?”

“Ahh, it’s hard to explain. Just know it’s something I’ve been able to do since I was a kid.”

“Wow, th-that’s some trick,” you glance at your plant in shock. It’s literally back to normal. You recall all the time spent nurturing it, along with your other plants. All the sweat doled out during back-breaking gardening. How could you ever repay him for making sure your hard work didn’t go down the drain?

Before you know it, you have his face in your hands and you don’t know what the hell you're doing but you're holding him and staring tearfully.

“Thank you times a million. Seriously.”

Josuke just gulps and nods. “Uh huh, not a problem.”

You really try to ignore the way he’s staring at your lips or the heavy blush on his cheeks because, again, you are not robbing the cradle. With more self-control than you knew you had, you let go of his face and step back.

“S-So would you like some tea, or lemonade or—“

“Lemonade,” he says as he stands to his full height. “Lemonade is fine.”

You nod with your bottom lip trapped between your teeth. He is so cute. You scamper off into the kitchen and pull out a full pitcher of homemade lemonade. Meanwhile, Josuke is left to take a look around your house.

There are plants everywhere, most are leafy, green, and healthy. The ones that aren’t, get a boost from his stand power.

Josuke wants to compare your home to a jungle or the Amazon, but that’s not quite an accurate comparison. Even though there’s clearly a lot going on, it’s not cluttered or disorganized at all. It’s just...really freaking amazing! There’s even a flourishing terrarium built in the walls near the staircase.

With your obvious love for nature, Josuke thinks you’d get along great with Mr. Jotaro, but for some reason he doesn’t feel too inclined to introduce you two.

When you finally return, you catch Josuke eyeing your little turtle tank with a weird look.

“That’s Kame, I just got him a month ago.”

Josuke laughs, “Kame, huh? That’s pretty clever.”

“I thought so too,” you hand him the cold drink and as he takes it, his fingers graze yours. “He doesn’t do much, so if you’re expecting him to do a trick, you’ll be waiting a while.”

“Oh nah, it wasn’t that. I’m just…kind of afraid of the little guy.”

Biting back the urge to say ‘awww’, you usher him over to the engawa overlooking your vegetable garden. “A fear of turtles is understandable. But would you believe that I used to be afraid of fish?”

“Fish? No, I can’t say I would. But I also wouldn’t judge.”

You smile at that because of course, he wouldn’t judge you. “Yup, had a bad experience when I was five. My father used to live in Morioh, near the coast. He was a fisherman,” you pause, momentarily distracted by the bob of his adam’s apple as he takes his first sip.

“H-He umm, took me fishing once... and it was the first time I’d ever laid eyes on a real fish. Needless to say, I screamed my head off.”

“No! Seriously?” Josuke chuckles and it’s so contagious and addicting. Soon you're laughing too.

“I swear, I cannot make this up!”

“So, what happened?”

“Okay, so I’m screaming like a mad person and running away. You know what my dad does? That asshole chases me with the thing still dangling from his fishing rod.” You shake your head at the memory. “I literally got sick and threw up that night, and boy did my mom chew him out for it.”

“That sounds so hilarious and yet so traumatic.” He laughs again. “That’s terrible!”

“Right! I could never look at a fish after that or even be around them. It took years before I finally got over it.” You sigh and shake your head again.

Silence ebbs between you for a moment before Josuke clears his throat. 

“So, this might seem a bit forward, but would you like to go on a date with me?”

The question doesn’t register in your head all at once, leaving you to stumble over your words until you can finally think coherently. “Josuke I...I’m a bit older than you. Shouldn’t you go for someone more closer to your age?”

“No, and I’ve never believed age should stop two consenting adults from getting to know each other better.”

“Josuke, I’m old enough to be your big sibling though.”

He quirks his brow at that like you’ve just said something weird. “Well, Mr. Joestar, was like ancient when he met my mom so that really doesn’t bother me.”

For some reason, that comment breaks the tension. You barely hold back a grin. “This Mr. Joestar guy is your father then?”

“Biologically speaking, yeah. He’s pretty old now and I never really knew him, but my mom still loves him with everything she has.”

Okay. Now you are really having heart palpitations.

Josuke is exhibiting a surprising amount of maturity right now, making you eat your words about him being too young for you. Why did he have to be so convincing on top of being cute?

“Give me a chance,” he says. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

After mulling over it for a moment, you finally acquiesce.

“Alright, Josuke. One date, and we’ll see from there.” and just to catch him off guard, you peck his cheek. “Okay?”

“Y-Yeah! Of course, it’ll be perfect!”

Taking the empty lemonade glass from him, you both re-enter your home with smiles on your faces. Josuke stays a little longer and you both chat for a while then make plans for your date. You get to learn about how much of a hopeless romantic he is and how he’s a firm believer in love. He makes it very clear that he doesn’t want a fling and that he’s looking for long-term. All of these things surprise you, as they aren’t what you’d expect from someone as gorgeous as him.

By the time the sun is setting, you know it’s time for you two to part ways. Josuke stands at your foyer with pursed lips and a blush on his cheeks. “Can I...kiss you?”

To answer his question, you lean up and press a soft kiss on his mouth. Josuke’s strong arms snake around your hips, drawing you closer into his sturdy frame. His plush lips are gentle and pliant against your own. 

When Josuke finally pulls back he is presented with the sight of your closed eyes and kiss-reddened lips and it’s the most enthralling two seconds ever. He thinks you're so freaking beautiful.

“Alright handy-man,” you say as you give him one last peck on the corner of his mouth. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, sure thing!”

Ironically enough, you have this nightmare of a heatwave to thank for your date with Morioh Cho’s favorite dreamboat.

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB MIV Week 7 Roundup!

Title: From the Heart (Literally)  Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Card Number: 4042 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K1 - Strawberries Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: Iron Man 3 extended/missing scene, fluff & humor, light angst Summary: Tony gives Pepper the shrapnel necklace. Word Count: 1494

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Title: On Wedding Planning Collaborator: pinkybitesu Card Number: 4106 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S3 - Laughter Ship: IronFalcon Rating: T Major Tags: Fluff, Tooth-rotting Fluff, Established Relationship, Wedding Planning; No Archive Warnings Apply Summary: Sam and Tony take a breather while wedding planning to have a laugh and to snuggle a bit. Word Count: 1147

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Title: friendship goals Collaborator: JehBeeEh Card Number: 4058 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T4 - Image: HumDrumVee Ship: Stony, IronBros Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: After being away for a while, Rhodey comes home and gets to meet Tony's new BF. Word Count: 1413

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Title: Music Make You Lose Control Collaborator: Ducky Card Number: 4013 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R3 - No Modesty Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Crack, Don't Try this at Home Summary: Tony gets himself a speaker buttplug. How long before the Avengers can tell where the sound is coming from? Word Count: 892

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Title: Sleeping with the Enemy Collaborator: eachpeachpearplum Card Number: 4003 Link: AO3 Square Filled: Adopted - Pseudo-villainy Ship: Gen Rating: Teen Major Tags: Endgame 2012 AU, infiltration, terrible plans, crack Summary: After a troubling conversation with Rumlow ends with the words hail Hydra, Steve, Fury, and the rest of the Avengers decide an investigation is necessary.Steve just really wishes this wasn't what they'd decided on. Word Count: 316

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Title: One Song (My Heart Keeps Singing)  Collaborator: iam93percentstardust Card Number: 4012 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S5 - Misunderstandings Ship: ThunderIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Soulmates, Fluff and Angst Summary: When Thor is old enough to understand what a Heartsong is, he goes to his mother to ask her why he can’t understand the language his is in. He listens as she tells him about the first soulmates who couldn't understand their Heartsong until the day they meet, excited by the thought of a grand adventure, one that will take him across the cosmos in search of his One.He’ll search all the Nine Realms if he has to. Word Count: 6683

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Title: Apollo’s Gift Collaborator: camichats Card Number: 4049 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R3 - Fortune Telling Ship: Sharon Carter/Tony Stark Rating: Teen Major Tags: None Summary: Sharon didn't tell anyone about her visions, mostly because she never knew when she'd get one. She'd done pretty well ignoring them for her entire life, but when she gets one of Tony dying, she decides that ignoring it isn't an option.  Word Count: 2293

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Title: A Fairy Tale, This Is Not Collaborator: Fighting_For_Creativity Card Number: 4004 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Adopted - AU: Reincarnation Ship: WinterIron (endgame for the fic), Merlin/Arthur, Merlin/Morgana, Merlin/Gwaine (due to the nature of the fic, bear with me folks) Rating: G Major Tags: Reincarnation, dreams, visions, Tony’s workshop Summary: Sometimes, unbeknownst to Tony, his reflection doesn’t show the man the world sees. Word Count: N/A

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Title: untitled Collaborator: chel Card Number: 4011 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A3 - Free Ship: IronHusbands Rating: G Major Tags: N/A Summary: Moodboard Word Count: N/A

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Title: It Always Ends in a Fight Collaborator: poliZ Card Number: 4007 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S5 - Wolf Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard, shape shifting, collars Summary: Anthony watches over James as he shifts back to his normal form for the first time. Word Count: N/A

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Title: Childhood Sweethearts Collaborator: camichats Card Number: 4049 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T4 - Magical Mishaps Ship: Sharon Carter/Tony Stark Rating: Gen Major Tags: none Summary: "Exactly what does de-aged mean?" Sharon asked. "Adult Tony got shrunk down to being six." "Why are you calling me? Jim would probably be more help; he's good with kids." "You and Tony knew each other since you were born, didn't you?" Natasha asked. Sharon regretted the day she ever shared that detail.  Word Count: 1001

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Title: From the Latin for ‘Distance’ Collaborator: poliZ Card Number: 4007 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S2 - Ridiculous Amounts of Tech Ship: Pepperony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Smut, Mutual Masturbation, Sex Toys, Fluff & Smut, Pepper POV Summary: Tony sends Pepper a package to make their time apart a little less lonely. Word Count: 1046

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Title: What’s in This Coffee Anyway?! Collaborator: Faustess Card Number: 4059 Link: AO3 Square Filled: A3 - Free Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: none Summary: Bucky is a barista and Tony Stark is his favorite customer. Today is the same as any other day except the espresso machine makes a weird sound and... sends them both back in time. Word Count: 100

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Title: This Is Not Gardening (You Can’t Fool Me) Collaborator: Faustess Card Number: 4059 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T4 - Shapeshifters Ship: IronWarHawk Rating: Gen Major Tags: hapeshifters, sleepy cuddles, domestic fluff, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War, Cute Ending. It's kind of salty re: CW Steve, but not overly so, I don't think. When CW is addressed, it's still in the process of being sorted out, but the characters weren't sure how anything would shake out. Otherwise no warnings. Summary: Tony and Clint are waiting for Rhodey to come back from his run. Tony's got an event later that day, but some things are more important than galas. Word Count: 1605

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Title: It’s Not the Ritz, It’s the Four Seasons (Total Landscaping) Collaborator: deehellcat Card Number: 4028 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T4 - Framed Ship: Stuckony, background PepperNat Rating: Teen Major Tags: Four Seasons Total Landscaping AU, Multi-directional Pining, Smol Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers is a Little Shit, No Powers AU, not Trump friendly, Veteran Bucky Barnes, War Injuries mentioned, Pre-Polyamory, Misunderstanding, Covid-19 Summary: three small businesses, three friends (who might want to be more than friends) and one very strange press conference. Word Count: 6765

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Title: I die with variety - Chapter 3 Collaborator: simi Card Number: 4066 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S2 - More Than a Partner Ship: IronHusbands Rating: E Major Tags: major character death, immortality in a way but it will end at some time, explicit sexual content. Warnings for this Chapter: torture, body image issues, deaths in various, graphic circumstances, violence. Summary: The first time that Tony dies, he is four and he’s building his very first circuit board from scratch. He’s connecting the finished product to the multimeter to check the voltage, the current and resistance, when a lead slips, a shock ricochets up through his spine, and he sees black. He’s on his back, when his eyes flutter open, and he’s staring up at the ceiling. He gets up, frowning, rubbing at his eyes, and then, he sees the frayed wire on the end of the multimeter. Huh, he thinks and moves on almost immediately. Word Count: 12,110

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Title: Acrobatics Collaborator: Ducky Card Number: 4013 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T2 - Anticipation Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: N/A Summary: Moodboard Word Count: N/A

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Title: Bring the World Back Into Tune Collaborator: ceealaina Card Number: 4008 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T1 - Asking for Trouble Ship: Stony, background WarFalcon Rating: E Major Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Meet-Cute, Steve Rogers Has No Chill, Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs Summary: Steve's just minding his own business when he spots the most beautiful man he's ever seen. So of course when he gets the chance to meet him, he manages to make a complete fool of himself. (Luckily, Tony kinda likes a guy who accidentally proposes at first sight.) Word Count: 4143

[red-rosa]

All right. So. The following has been bouncing around my head for days and is more of a practice in internal voice than anything. It’s not pretty like some of my others, not really edited much, and not even particularly good. In fact, I’m probably going to delete it later. But it wouldn’t leave me alone, it’s silly and somewhat entertaining, and sometimes I like to think I’m funny, so here it is. 

Mentions of Old World Blues and such so if anyone hasn’t gone through it, here’s your warning. 

Also @gutsngrace? It’s your fault this is seeing the light of day. Look what you have done. 

Two hours until sundown, until the great, slumbering creature that was the goldmine of the desert would wake for a night life that, though it was only a ghostly remnant of what was centuries ago, rivaled any “modern” entertainment around. Two hours that would burn by in sluggish seconds, occupied by simmering heat and sun radiating off cracked payment few seemed to be around for. All was quiet (As quiet as it could be with the now all too-familiar sound of gunshots and fights for survival in the surrounding sand dunes) and calm, the crackling speakers outside droning on once again with the same rotation of songs all knew by heart. However, every now and then a yawn would puncture the suffocating blanket everyone seemed covered by, or perhaps it was the light ding of a machine and muffled curse of some day drunk tourist in the background. Those starlets, those clambered for by the night crowds…they weren’t around yet. Still asleep, maybe, or just tucked away in rooms away in privacy and what peace someone could get in a world such as theirs. There was one noticeable absence; boss wasn’t around, and hadn’t been for days. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. She’d often up and disappear, the restlessness of muscles used to eating up miles of dust and adventure that sung in an (admittedly) practiced nervous system driving her away from the bright neon and sloshed merriment. But it wasn’t a concern. She’d come back. She always did.Not that it mattered all that much. Whether she was present or not had little impact on the day to day responsibilities of the city’s inhabitants. It was just business as usual, and one of waiting those long seconds, minutes, hours away. Until it wasn’t. 

CRACK.

Inside one of the casinos those behind the counter up front jumped to attention, startled out of their naps by what sounded at first like a gunshot. Before anyone could react beyond that, however, a blinding light seared across vision, everyone in the vicinity flinching away. What the hell? The screaming that followed, however, was anything but ordinary.

 ——

MUGS! GIMME GIMME GIMME-

Hang on. Who was shouting about mugs and why? Why was this important? Why was her head ringing? …. And why did her tailbone hurt like it’d been shattered and put back together (Something she was uncomfortably familiar with due to other unfortunate circumstances that seemed to follow her like bad habits)?

 It took a few seconds but soon enough the courier had realized that she was no longer standing in front of the too friendly auto-doc listening to a bewildering set of AI but instead was…back at the Tops? Wait, what? Since when had that…?

And who was saying her name?

“Boss? Damn it, Six, come on. You gotta hear me.”

Looking around with bleary eyes, it took Willow a moment to realize the hand on arm belonged to someone who might actually need some explanation as to why there was now a miniature securitron racing around his lobby screaming about porcelain. Oh, she hoped the robot didn’t reach for one. 

From what she could see from her now sitting position (Rather than the ragdoll sprawl she’d apparently been thrown into when she was…whatever from the Sink), the Chairmen were (understandably) jumpy and upset. She wouldn’t put it past one of them to put a bullet through the brain of wires and circuit boards just to make…him? It? Whatever. To make Muggy (Ha! Right! That was his name!) shut up. Which would be a shame, all things considered. She’d promised to help-

“Willow.“ 

Oh shit, she’d been drifting again, hadn’t she? Giving her head a shake and instantly regretting it (Okay, ow, brains were heavy and she’d forgotten that in their brief separation), she forced herself to look back at Swank whose own expression had shifted between alarm, annoyance, and concern in an extraordinarily short amount of time. Awww, was he actually worried about her?

"What is that?” Hmph. Apparently not. Just about the robot causing havoc among his family. Wasn’t that rude?

“It’s just a securitron.”

“I can see that." 

"He has problems.” “….I can see that too. What is it doing here?”

 Good question. When they (Strange asshole computer brain things that shouted too much and apparently couldn’t remember one damn name) had said she could leave, she hadn’t imagined she’d be ejected from the facility immediately. She still had things to do! She had to help round up the last of the renegade robots, for one. Not to mention there was still the other Sink AI she had to find, the materials to update the proton axe, the trauma suits….There had been much to be done, and she’d been thrown out like….well, just another lobotomite.

 "Well, you see…“ She paused again, trying to find the right answer that wouldn’t have her thrown out of another building in less than five minutes. "There was this…thing." 

She felt more than saw him pause in his inspection of the new scar on her head (Damn, for a guy that rolled his eyes every single time she "jokingly” called him her brother, he sure was acting like they were family now), the hand on her arm tightening. 

“A thing?”

“Yeah, a thing. It was projecting…” Gosh, why was it so hard to think? Maybe the surgery had gone wrong? “An eye. On this giant screen.”

 "….Are you high right now?“ Talk about insulting. She never took chems! It was a rule. Smoking and drinking, fine. She’d do that socially; it was part of the game, after all. She was in control of the Strip and thus had to…had to…

Shit, what did she have to do?

"I am no-”

“I had to administer Med-X after we angered the last robo-scorpion. I’m sorry. Was I not supposed to do that?”

“Holy..!” Both she and Swank jumped at the unexpected voice, though the courier did have to appreciate the fact he hadn’t abandoned her to this unknown entity. Or, at least, he hadn’t let go of her and run for the hills yet. That had to count for something, right?

“I thought I told you not to give me that stuff.” Oh God, was she whining? That sounded like whining. At least it explained why her head was feeling both heavy and stuffed. A sigh escaped her as she glared down at the too tight stealth suit that had, until the least inconvenient time, stayed silent.

 ….And now it wasn’t saying anything at all. Great. She hadn’t looked crazy enough before. Why not add to it? Risking another peek at the new head of the Family, she grimaced at his expression. Right now she was probably up there with No-Bark on the sanity scale, and he was probably regretting the moment she’d stepped onto the Strip. So much for a normal day.

“Okay look, I can explain….” She huffed, attempting to rise to her feet and cursing her inability to handle chems in any capacity. Well hell, if anyone found out about this particular weakness…

She’d deal with it another day. Maybe when standing didn’t require slinging an arm around the shoulders of another person and allowing them to take most of her weight.

“Okay.” One step, then another, then another, then an-

Wait. Yet another pause. Willow, being careful not to let the Pip-Boy on her wrist smack her poor (Friend? Employee?) ally upside the head at the abrupt halt, fought past the haze one last time in an attempt to handle at least some of the situation. She hadn’t come back alone…?

“GIVE ME THE MUG!”

 Right. Had to handle that. She glanced around, squinting until she found Muggy who’d been rounded up to a corner by a gaggle of people and one normal-sized securitron that, if she was seeing things correctly (which was questionable under current circumstances), appeared to be inching towards the door. “Hey! Leave Muggy alone, okay?" 

….She was getting really tired of these looks the Chairmen kept giving her. 

"Muggy, behave.”

"BUT-”

“No.” With another hard glare at the little robot (Or, at least, the best version she could give while trying not to go cross-eyed under the influence of Med-X), she sighed and turned back towards the stairs. Another climb. Wonderful.

“Make sure they get along until I can do …something about this.” This last was directed towards Swank who, much to her annoyance, seemed to have gotten over his worry enough to shoot her a smirk as he helped her up. Cocky son of a bitch. At least he wouldn’t drop her down the stairs. He’d want the explanation of this too much to risk further injury to her now. Some small comfort that was.

“Sure thing, boss.”

“And that someone makes sure nothing else appeared and caused problems.”

“Whatever you say." 

”…You’re never letting me live this down, are you?“ 

"Not a chance.”

[toonerdyandiknowit]

Hardware

Part 2

You just wanted to live a normal life, damnit! Also, bonding with Tony.

I’m not sure how many chapters this thing is going to be, but I’m aiming for about 5.

Little bit angsty! 

[Y/N] = Your Name

[Y/H/L] = Your hair length

[Y/H/C] = Your hair colour

"So..." you hummed, "Now what?"

------------

The answer to that was, apparently, move in with the Avengers.

Your new place was nice, sure. All your things had been moved and placed the way you liked them in your bedroom and living room. Stark "Call me Tony" had even gifted you with an amazing bookshelf after his first "welcome to the building" visit a week and a half ago.

You were a bit of a book hoarder, with no particular bias towards any one genre. You even had an "Engineering for dummies" that had sat gathering dust since you first discovered your powers. You'd reasoned, at the time, that you should probably know something about what you could do on instinct. You quickly gave up. Mostly, though, you just had sci-fi and fantasy. Either way, you'd never invested in buying a bookshelf yourself, preferring to just pile them up on any available space, a process you had brought over to your new place.

You'd been a little mortified when you realised he must have overseen the organisation of the enormous bookshelf himself (or maybe he just did it all, something that gave you nightmares). You were leaning towards the latter, especially when you realised all your, ahem, adult novels, had been organised by colour on the bottom shelf - and each was covered in post-its with winky faces on. You were also pretty sure there were new ones added to the collection. You were going to have to have a chat about boundaries.

The kitchen was downstairs in the community area, huge and always well stocked, seeing as it was a communal kitchen for the whole team. Thankfully your rooms came with their own bathroom and it was to die for. Also huge, the bath could seat four, had a Jacuzzi setting and built in mood lighting. There was a T.V. in the wall opposite the bath, and the remote was built into the side of the tub. The shower was also within sight of the T.V. and had more settings than you knew what to do with.

Every room was tastefully decorated in your style and in your favourite colour. All in all, living in the base was pretty great.

There was only one, teeny, tiny, problem.

The place was crawling with Avengers.

They were always trying to get you involved in their group discussions, which Tony was always somehow absent for, and at first it seemed nice. Like they were trying to get to know you and make you comfortable. It became quickly apparent that wasn't the case. They spoke about super hero things you didn't understand or want to know about, and you were treated as though that was some kind of failure on your part.

The truth was you weren't interested in the newest work out or the latest weaponry. You didn't care about how their new outfits were so much better for field work compared to the old ones. You didn't want to trade opinions about the state of this country or that country, and when would be the right time to interfere in this situation or that situation. You didn't care about being an Avenger.

It was not a popular opinion.

"If you don't want to use your powers for good, then why have them at all?" Spat Wanda one day. You'd made the mistake of comparing your situations - sure, you both had powers, but you didn't want to use them the way she did.

"Look," you sighed, pushing your half eaten bowl of cereal away, "I didn't choose this, ok? I didn't sign up, or volunteer, or whatever, for these powers. I wasn't soldier or a spy before I got them. I was a student. An English Literature student." You raised your brows, hoping that that would be enough to get the message across.

"But..." started Hawk.

"Look, no. Just no." you barked, standing, "I've been trying to play nice here why you all prodded and poked at me, trying to figure my powers out, but enough. Once your pals at SHEILD decide I can have my life back, that’s what I'm doing: Going back to my life. I fix things because my powers mean I can - and don't have to actually know anything about what I'm fixing."

" [Y/N] If you have the power to make a difference," intoned Steve, "Don't you think it's your responsibility to do something?"

"Tell me something Captain, do you think everyone who takes self defence, everyone who knows how to fire a gun, everyone who knows martial arts, do you think they should all join the army?" you snap.

"Of course not." he scoffs.

"Well? Why not? They have abilities, they can fight and look after themselves. How many times do I have to tell you? I am not a soldier. I was a librarian. Now apparently I'm the best, most ignorant mechanic alive. I do not want to be an Avenger. And no amount of whinging, complaining, or guilt trips, will change my mind." You tossed the last few sentences over your shoulder as you stormed out.

You'd never liked conflict. Sure, you'd sass your way in and out of all sorts of situations, and you'd throw a punch if you had to...but no. Conflict and arguments were not your forte.

Your feet seemed to know where to take you, even if your head wasn't caught up in the act, and you found yourself cautiously tapping at the glass doors of Tony's lab. He grinned when he saw you, hopping over to open the door for you.

"Hey Sparky, been wondering when you'd take up my invitation to come play engineer." He laughed, turning back to his desk to tinker with a pile of circuit boards. On the surface, they made no sense to you, but when you closed your eyes and focused, you could feel the little guys humming with...something. That indefinable something that let you understand tech of all kinds.

"Hm." You grunted, flicking your eyes open and darting them across the lab. Every surface was littered with electrical gear, tools, wiring, pipes and god knows what else. Some walls had burn marks and others had chunks missing piles of dust and rubble scattered around them.

"Sparky?" You heard, twisting your head to look Tony in his concerned puppy eyes, standing much closer than he was a minute ago.

"You're shaking."

It wasn't until he said it that you realised he was right, a shiver had set in deep in your bones, wracking your body with minute quakes as you folded in on yourself.

"Ok, what's going on?" Tony asked, his voice concerned, but tinged with an underlying sharpness as he slowly reached out an arm to touch your shoulder.

"I just.." you sighed, grabbing fistfuls of your [Y/H/L] [Y/H/C] hair to brush it back off your forehead, dislodging Tony's hand as you did so, "I don't like conflict. Arguments, raised voices. And all everyone wants to talk about is if I'm going to be an Avenger."

You cursed silently as you realised your voice was shaking too, and your shivers were getting stronger as you started to get angry.

"And no matter how many times I tell them no, I'm not going to be, I don't want to be...they still just keep pushing. Trying to make me feel bad." Folding your arms across your chest, you looked at the ground, waiting for Tony to tell you that they were right. That you were being selfish, that you don't get to have a normal life because you're not normal anymore.

"Steve said that I have a responsibility to help people, cause I have these stupid powers. He made it sound like I don’t have a choice." Your voice was low and miserable as you hung your head.

You chanced a look at Tony, and couldn't help but flinch at the angry look you found there.

"Alright Sparks," he sighed, scratching at the back of his head, "Come take a seat."

You dawdled behind Tony as he led the way to a worse for wear leather sofa, and you couldn't help the way your lips twitched up as he threw all the gear strewn across it onto the floor. He fell back into the seat with a whumph, and sat staring straight ahead, waiting for you to sit down, but not trying to rush you.

You sat, curled in on yourself slightly as the shivers finally started to die down, though they didn't completely go away in the face of your assumption that Tony was about to start yelling too.

"Rogers seems to be forgetting that we picked you up to register you, not recruit you." He started, and you frowned as you turned to look at him, though he continued staring straight ahead, "See, he, and the others, have this thing about heroism. And the idea that some people don't want the lives they lead is...I dunno, they're a bunch of idiots that think they know best in all things to do with the safety of the planet. My point is," here he turned to look at you, "Any idiot could see you're not cut out for this life. I mean, they raise their voices and you turn into a shivering mess. No offence... and one of these days you're gonna tell me why that is. But for now, I'll talk to them. Try to get them to back off a little. In the mean time, you're welcome to come down here and talk shop with me, or just come down on your own, whenever you need a time out from them."

As he finished his little speech, your shivering finally stopped, and you watched with wide eyes as he looked up at the ceiling and told Friday to give you clearance to the lab, whilst making sure that everyone else on the team (with the exception of Bruce) couldn't enter without being let in by someone with authorisation.

The action reminded you of when you'd spoken briefly with Spider-Man, back when you first arrived, and he'd told you he didn't live with the others. He was still just a kid under the mask, went to school and lived with his aunt, and only Tony knew his real identity. Spidey (He said you could call him that, he actually preferred it over "Kid", as Tony had taken to calling him in front of the team) said out of everyone, Tony seemed to understand wanting to balance a normal life with hero work the best. You were shocked when he told you it was Tony who tried to talk him out of being Spider-Man until he was done with school, and that Steve had actually tried to get him to move in with the Avengers, even though he'd said no.

You didn't think Steve, or the rest of the team, were bad guys...but they were starting to sound more and more like they wanted to collect powered people to defend the world. Whether they liked it or not.

"Thank you." You were in awe. You'd naturally gotten along with Tony from day one, well...after you’d exchanged a few snide comments about kidnapping and Stockholm syndrome,  but you knew he was Iron Man, an original Avenger. And you'd thought he'd be on their side. But when you thought about it...

"Why did you even come back?" The words were out of your mouth before you could take them back, "I mean, never mind."

"No no, you wanna know why I'm still here, after everything that happened with the Accords?" he chirped, seemingly cheerful as he jumped up to continue his tinkering.

"Well, the world was in danger, yadda yadda yadda, same old same old. By the time the dust had cleared we'd all fallen back into our old roles and it just seemed like a waste of time to pick at healing wounds." His voice had grown harder as he pulled at a stubborn piece of machinery.

You knew a little of what had happened, and what you did know pointed towards most of the others turning on Tony for trying to do the right thing, ending with one of the team paralysed. You felt bad for picking at that particular wound, especially since, despite what Tony said, it didn't seem like it was healing all that well. Standing up and following him to the work bench, you peeked over his shoulder.

Focusing of the lump of metal in his hands, you asked it what was wrong.

"That bit."

"Huh?"

"You said to talk shop...so, um, it says that that bit is wiggled too far to the left and that it's disrupting the flow?" You glanced up at him sheepishly as he looked at you with raised eyebrows, before turning to glare at the contraption in his hand.

Passing him the small pair of tweezers by your hand, you giggled as he swore under his breath, trying to realign the wonky piece.

Sliding it into what you could only assume was some sort of software reader, data suddenly sprung up onto the nearby screen and Tony let out a shocked laugh.

"It told you?" He asked, a genuine smile in place as he glanced between you and the screen.

"Well, yeah? It's kinda how my power works, I guess I talk to the equipment."

"Really?" he asked, spinning to face you properly, "Well, what else is the stuff in the lab saying?"

You laughed, pleased to be of some use around here, and pleased to have taken his mind off of the darker aspects of your conversation, and spun in a slow circle with your eyes closed.

There was a lot of half finished stuff here, but mostly everything was singing happily. A smile wormed its way onto your face as you listened.

"There's a few things calling out for you to come finish fixing them but mostly.."

"Mostly what?"

"Mostly it's singing."

"Singing?" he asked sceptically.

"Well, what do you expect machines to do when they're happy and working perfectly?" you sassed, your tone indicating that this was a piece of obvious information.

"All right, all right, Sparky. Damn, wish I could hear that." The wistfulness in his voice made you twist your lips in sympathy, when a strange new voice in the song caught you attention.

"Well, now who are you?" You called over to the robot in the corner, whose “voice” told you it wanted to come say hi.

Pushing your power out, you stroked along its power base until it purred, rolling your way for more attention.

"That's Dum-E." said Tony, raising his eyebrows at the whizzing and churring coming from his robotic assistant.

"He's a sweetie!" you crooned, reaching to rub your hands under Dum-E's claw slash head, simultaneously continuing to stroke his electrical currents with your powers. Dum-E stretched his head out and twisted it to the side like a cat being fussed in just the right spot.

You stayed that way for a few minutes, allowing yourself to lose the days worries while you fussed over the sweet-natured machine. When you finally looked up, Tony was watching you fondly, a new piece of machinery to tinker with in his hands.

"You sure are something else Sparky."

[nevermind-goaway]

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Vested Interest_Chapter I

Title: Vested interest

Pairing: Aluseras( Alucard x Seras)

Fandom: Hellsing/Hellsing Ultimate

Warnings: Blatant Alcoholism 

Chapters: 1/?

Summary:

Seras has feelings for Alucard, and so does he, however, to Seras, she knows her master better than anyone and knows how he can be and what he is capable of and is completely unsure of her former master intentions or the length of his apparent devotion, and accompanied by an ever changing world, old allies dead, as new ones rise, she wonders if she will be able to pull through, as well as be able to maintain a romantic relationship with her former master.

*I’m reposting this fic on my blog again*

Edit:  Nothing major, I just wanted to fix a few things, and spelling errors, and give this first chapter a little bit more meat, such as adding and changing dialogue.  

  A/N: This is a serious canon-divergence and is a part of an Au; I’m creating, so this is kind of the first part.  This takes place 500 hundred years, after Integra’s death, just to let everyone else, I hope I didn’t confuse anyone.

Comments, Reviews, Criticisms are all welcomed!!!!!

Tell me what you guys think!

“Have you changed your mind, yet?”

Seras huffs, before chugging down a significant amount of ice, cold beer and contemplated whether or not to drink until she was too plastered to stand. She couldn’t do this now or more like she didn’t want to deal this now, it was childish of her, she knew, it wasn’t like high school, where she could forge a make up a doctor’s note to skip out on gym- she was adult now, and being adult meant being mature, even when you desperately, desperately don’t want to, but! But! - UGH!

Can’t she just slam her face on the table! This was an entirely different situation, and it wasn’t like she could fake an illness to get out of it either, seeing that she came here out of her own accord.

She just didn’t know what to do. Her heart said one thing, while the more reasonable, sane, logical side of her brain completely argued against her acting on impulsive emotions.

“If you were human you probably would’ve damned your liver right about now.”

She finally removed the glass from her lips, placing it delicately upon the bar table with a click.

She looked at him this time for the first time since they’ve been here.

 Here, being a bar, a bar named Igor’s, promptly named after the owner Igor, who was just as ancient as her former Master, except for the fact that he was of the Lycan variety, and except for the fact he did appear worn down by age, from the hard wrinkles under his eyes, the rigid scar that tore through his left eye sealing it shut and a strip of flesh ripped from the right side of his face, giving a grotesque view of red gums, and his sharp, pearly white canines.

He was quiet, a type of no nonsense man, a very large man who only responded in gruff, grunts and growls, and stood a good two feet above her master. And speaking of her master, Igor wasn’t his biggest fan and wasn’t afraid to show it, since he busted up his bar in some petty fight a couple of years back. Breaking hundreds of bottles of expensive liquor and countless damages in infrastructure. Surprisingly, enough her master paid for the damages with 70% interest drawn from one of  his, probably many treasuries that he has hidden all over eastern Europe. He was a king before; at least she hopes that’s where his money is coming from, either way she really didn’t wanna know.

 And grudgingly and beyond her comprehension, he let her master come back, he still didn’t like him (she doubted that Igor was a very forgiving man) but, Alucard left generous tips, so he left it at that. From what she could tell her master seemed quite fond of the little bar.

It was small, cozy even and surprisingly, sit -spot clean and she also suspects what honestly, caught master attention the most was that it was pretty quiet, never too crowded most of the time and was simplistic in design. For Seras she could almost call it home, she found the place soothing to be in, many times she found herself here on raining days, lounging about and reading one of the many novels she “stole” from her Master endless library. Not to mention Igor served more than booze and had an array of coffee and teas, much to her pleasure.

 But she was getting off track here, trying to avoid the topic at hand.

 From the looks of it he hadn’t moved his gaze from her not once, and it unnerved her to no end, as he peered at her with half-lidded eyes and a passive gaze, which perturbed her more because of the ridiculous beard. He appeared so different……..with that thing on his face, and she desperately hid the urge to want shave it off his smug face.

“Being inhuman certainly has it perks; I don’t have to worry about liver failure.”

“That still doesn’t make you any less of an alcoholic, Master. That’s your fifth glass of scotch, and we’ve only been here 30 minutes.” she nodded towards the shot glass in his left hand, while the other supported his chin. He was also, startlingly, dressed casual, a white dress shirt and black slacks, it was a breather, to actually see him in normal clothing, and not any of his tone deaf attire that he is, so fond of wearing, the pimp hat, the 80s trench coat, well at least he didn’t really wear those anymore not since Integra’s passing, anyways, she thought solemnly.

“I don’t get as drunk easily as you, my dear.”

She stuck her tongue at him, mainly because he was right, one beer was usually enough to have her slurring her words and giggling like a lune, but she’d be darned if she admitted that to him.

“And I’m not an alcoholic.”

“Uh-huh.”

There was a moment of stillness, the delay of the inevitable, so to speak.

Seras mind was running amok, she only came here on a whim, when her master, former master, she should say had called her out of the blue, and asked her to meet him here.

 She should’ve said that he was bonkers for calling her out here at three in the morning, and hung up, because after a long, stress inducing day of work, from listening to one person after, another complain to her about whatever, to settling disputes that almost turned violent if she hadn’t intervene between councils members, comforting others, and dealing with screaming children, she had quite enough dealing with other people’s emotional turmoil, and drama. All wanted for her weekend off, was a cup of hot coco, her soft pjs, and array of rom coms to compensate for the lack of a love life, was that too much to ask for.

 But, she didn’t-

   However, the quietness continue with the couple, occasionally sipping on their respective beverages, as they listened to the news which was currently splayed upon the small television that sat at, well more like hung at an angle over the bar, it was cracked and had many wires sticking out of it, but apparently it’s been working for years, seeing that not once did it short circuit, since they’ve been coming here.

Seras, barely paid attention, one thing that about being a vampire these days is that human politics have no effect on her anymore, well somewhat if you count recent events, and second, British politics or anything involving politics  is endless hell, you better off with setting your own self on fire, then trying to reason with other people, and lucky she didn’t have the responsibility concern herself with it, unless Hellsing was involved in any case, but human-vampire relations was something else entirely.

Alucard listened more closely, yet remained apathetic, it was all Greek to him, voting, elections, parliament, electoral colleges, primaries, it was all nonsense, it didn’t make any sense to him, leave it to humans to make everything more complicated than it needs to be. Everything was better when the world adhered to monarchies and systems, everyone had a place and duty, and none one didn’t question things, like the good old day.

 “Y’know in retrospect, it makes our jobs a whole lot harder doesn’t it?” someone had to cut the ice, she supposed, but could herself laughing bit too nervously.

His attention snapped back to reality or to the woman before him. She abruptly went silent, her gaze met his from brief moment, brows raised and her fingers tinkering with her locket that hung from her neck and rested at the valley of amble chest.

“Seras?”  She quickly fixed her attention back on her locket, he threw his head back, and took a long, burning swig from his drink - it was now or never, he didn’t call her down her here at 3 in the morning to discuss politics.

 “Why?” she murmurs, at bit pitifully, her brows scrunched together tightly, her lips pursed, her shoulders raised in apprehension “I mean-” she huffs at her.

 He knew that look, she was thinking, trying to pick and choose her words, so he gave her, her space which was alright with him as it gave him extra time to just - look at her.

She was wearing a short, black dress, which modestly reached her knees, the prude,

And had long sleeves.

Her lips and nails were painted a bright crimson, as he observe them tapping ceaselessly upon her golden locket and her hair was left untouched as it rolled down towards her waist in a heap of curls. After, what, he honestly, couldn’t remember, she stopped cutting her hair and just let it take a course of her own, he didn’t know about her, but to him it was the best decision she ever made. He liked how soft it looked, how it framed her face, how it made her look mature, like the master vampire she’s supposed to be. However, despite this, her expression was sullen; her red lips were twisted in a long frown, as she watched the drips of water slid down her glass.

“Um-Master, how long have we’ve known each other?” she voice started off low.

“ Since the day I put a bullet through you, why?” he was a bit taken back, out of all the ways he predicted this conversation to go, this wasn’t one of them

 Her sapphire gaze snaps in his direction “I’m being serious!”

 “Alright, Alright, a couple of centuries.” he narrowed his eyes “and May I ask why that matters?”

“Remember, back when I told you how I felt, about how I was in love with you and you rejected Me.” it was more matter of fact than anything. She wasn’t upset, well maybe not too upset, because she knew the answer beforehand. She knew he would reject her, and it hurt, but not as bad as it would have been if she entertained the fantasy of him actually being in love with her. She had feelings, but she was also no fool. But, now, so many decades later-

“…..Yes.” he winced that wasn’t his most shining hour in his opinion, and there were plenty of them.

“Yet, after all this time, you love me, now. Why?”

She gazed back at him, her sapphire eyes filled with confusion.

He didn’t break contact; he hoped all that liquor he drank would give him the confidence to speak his mind, without hinges, without being vague about his emotions.

 “Let’s just say, the past few years, I’ve had a couple of eye openers.”

“Are you talking about “her”?”

“Sort of off, but not quite.” she had an odd look in her eye, wide, and in some sort of disbelief, until it dawned on him “and no, I’m not chasing after, you because my other relationship went up in flames, so speak, and trust me I’m not crawling back to her, ever, hell would have to freeze over before that happens.”

 “A-are you sure?” she scrutinized him, eyes narrowed, her nose wrinkling, a quirk of hers every time she seemed to be contemplating something.

 “Yes, Seras. She is out my picture book forever, trust me, a pit of vipers would be more welcoming than ever sharing her bed again.”

“B-but?”

 “But?” he waited for her to continue.”

“But, that doesn’t explain, why you-you love me now.”

“Seras, I have long since stopped viewing you as just my loyal servant. You’re -you’re more to me than just that, over the years you been my partner, my companion, someone that I could trust.”

 “It doesn’t seem like that all the time. “She whispers.

 “I know. But, that was because of my own hubris than anything. It was nothing you did, my dear.”

She smiles, softly at that, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, shyly.

 “So, am I more to you now?”

 “You are mistaken on that part.”

“How, so.”  

“I’ve had…. feelings for you four quite some time.”

“Y-you have?” she should be ecstatic, yet caution was the only thing blaring through her thoughts. She knew her master and knew him well, both the good and the bad, well more bad than good. “Even, when you were with-”

“Yes. Look, Seras, I know our relationship hasn’t been-” he was looking for a word that didn’t come as harsh.

“The best.” she adds in, a little too quickly.

 “I was thinking a bit dysfunctional lately, but I guess “not the best” sounds….better put. But anyways, what I - what I’m trying to say is that I’m interested in courting you.”

Courting was such an odd word then again using the word dating, when referring to herself and Alucard was even stranger.   

 “Seras?”

“Huh-yes.”

“Will you?”

“Will I what?

“Will you let me court you?”

“Master, I-”

“Vlad.”

“What?

“That is my birth name. I want you to call me by it from now on.” he raised, a cautious hand, a bare hand, relieved of his gloves, to push a strand of golden hair behind her ear, gently brushing his knuckles against her cheek.

Seras bit her lip, what was she to say? What should she do? She felt the beer she drank desperately, wanting to make an encore.

“Mas-Vlad, I -I don’t know.” she murmurs, peering down at her locket, again, twirling it between her slender fingers.

“Why?” he had to stop himself from saying more, before he starts sounding desperate. He will not be one of those “men”.

“What you said before about people changing.”

“Yes, what about?”

“It’s just that-just -I mean- Vlad, sometimes……sometimes….. People don’t change. Especially, people like you.”

“What’s that supposed to me?”  He should have taken offense to that, but the stinging pain of hurt was the only feeling that was consuming him at the moment.

“I know what you are. I’m not blind. Please, don’t look at me like that, I’m not saying that to hurt you, trust me.

I love you, I really, really do. Sure I can deal with all your bizarre idiosyncrasies, but that was only because our relationship was- well was master and servant, I could live with that then. But, now, now I don’t know if I can. Your impulsive, rude, I can never anticipated your moods sometimes, your fickle when you want to be, not to mention cruel and bloodthirsty. How do I know you’re going to be committed, and not just one day get up and leave without so much as a single word? How do I know this isn’t all a game to you? How do I know that you truly want to love me and be my equal, if you keep shutting me out all the time or pushing me away when you don’t feel like being bothered? “She paused a moment, looking him dead in the eye to make sure she got the point across.

“I-I can’t do this, I can’t be with you, if you’re going to act that way. I can’t.” she didn’t want to cry, she told herself, lectured herself not to cry, but the tears involuntary came forth, warm, as well as unwelcoming, burned a pathway down her face.

He was stunned silent for a while he didn’t know what to say, his mouth felt uncomfortably dry, like his mouth was filled with sad, but it did stop him from wiping her tears away with the side of his thumb.

“Seras? Seras look at me.” he lowers his voice, to attract her attention. She wiped her nose and face with the back of her hand, sniffling as, she tried to gain the courage to look at him.

“Y-yeah.”

“You speak the truth, people don’t change, especially people such as I, we never do nor ever will, but for your sake I’ll do anything you wish of me, I promise you that at least.

I know I’m more monster than man, and I can never be what you truly deserve, but I can do what I can, if you’d be mine.” he sounded, so sincere, so sincere that she couldn’t bare it anymore, and the impulsive need to wrap her arms tightly around his neck and kiss him senseless was overpowering and that’s why she needed to leave. To leave, so she could think rationally and thoroughly.

“Vlad. Vlad can you give me some time to think about?”

“Of course, I don’t want to pressure you. Take your time.”

 “Vlad.”

 “Hhhmmm.”

 “Thank you.” she couldn’t help herself, but she threw her arms around him, placing her face in the crux of his neck, nuzzling his shoulder. “Thank you.” she whispers.

He pats the top of her head, feeling slightly awkward by the sudden intimacy.

It took a few good moments for her to let go “Um, I have work soon, so I better get some sleep.”

“Ah, right. Do you want me to accompany you home?”

She shakes her head “That’s alright I want to walk by myself tonight, if you don’t mind.”

“Are you sure.”

She nods her head in affirmation, slowly sliding off her seat, to leave, however, another wave - call it a need or maybe want, but whatever it was made her lean over and press her lips to his. It was chaste and he certainly wasn’t expecting it, but he returned it with fervor, pulling her closer and gently biting bottom lip, as she held onto his shirt for dear life. He wanted more, he wanted her, yearned for her taste and her touch, her scent alone, smelling of sweet vanilla, drove him mad, but in the most delightful ways, he wanted to continue, but was suddenly interrupted, by  loud grunt. Seras immediately pulled away from him, her cheeks flushed, and bottom lip swollen and her hair in slight disarray, she looked absolutely tempting - but the dirty look Igor gave him kept him doing anything further.

“Sorry, about that.” Seras smiles apologetically to the old bartender. He only tips his head in acknowledgement, quickly turning back to washing glasses.

She glances back him a shy expression lightens her face “Good night, Vlad.”

“Good night, Seras.”

“ Alright, see you later.” she waves, as she particularly skips out the front door, her heels clacking against the wooden floors, the bell up to the entrance signaling her departure. He sighs as leans back, having zero intention of leaving anytime soon.

He jiggles his empty cup devoid of anything, but halfway melted ice.

“Do you have anything stronger than Vodka?”

“Mmmmmhh.” Igor responded, completely disinterested.

“I’m very sure that you can actually talk.”

Igor grunted, turning from his finished task to stare at the other man, he glances down at the no-life king’s empty glass, back up to him, glaring.

“What!?…. Trust me I haven’t had my fill of alcohol; he didn’t want this man to break up his bar again due to being in a drunken stupor.

Igor shakes his head, arms crossed, clearly exasperated. He hated it when customers’ abuse their drinking privileges, and it pissed off even more, because was one that had to clean it all up, after closing.

“I’ll pay extra; I’ll even buy you a brand new television set.”

Didn’t this man have anything else better to do than, spend his nights indulging in alcoholism? Igor, sighs beside himself, well, whatever, it was his life that his was drinking away, not his, beside brand new television did sound pleasing, he was getting of watching his soap operas on a cracked scene, anyways, and maybe his regulars will stop complaining about how small his t.v set is.

Without another word, he traveled to the back to pick out a bottle of Everclear, which just came in this afternoon, maybe this will shut the lunatic up.

Alucard was curious when the Werewolf reappeared again with a large silver bottle of clear liquid, and handed it to him, practically shoving it in his arms.

The master vampire spinned it around, it was room temperature “ Everclear” he twisted it around once again to read the table of contents on the back with a raised eyebrow “ colorless, flavorless, 95 % concentrated Alcohol”  he whistle at that.

He glance back at the bartender, he just shrugged in response and continued about his work.  

Well, he certainly wasn’t going to leave this bar sober, hopefully.

TBC

Edit: Nothing major, I just wanted to fix a few things, and spelling errors, and give this first chapter a little bit more meat, such as adding and changing dialogue.  

Like for the instance, the part where Seras assumes Alucard has treasuries hidden all over Western Europe,I didn’t think much about that line, until now, realizing that Alucard is Romanian, which is in Eastern Europe, so he would have secret stashes hidden all over Eastern Europe, not Western.

   A/N: Is this chapter a bit too sappy, I don’t know maybe. I’m just wanted to write a Aluseras fic, where alucard doesn’t act like a grade A- A-hole with no redeemable qualities and for absolutely no reason, which I see an abundance of in a lot of fan fictions concerning this couple, note that I have nothing against anyone who does write these kind of fics, nothing personal, just not my cup of tea.

Anyways, can you believe it took me a whole day to write this, not to mention on a horribly upset stomach, ugh, it was the only way to keep me distracted from the pain.

Well, that’s it for now, Comments are always welcomed.

 @deyity @kyoandyuya @these-three-peeps

[anactualferret]

II’m too well known on other media sites... and now I’m going to hope they don’t follow me here. I have to get everything out. Even now I am terrified to write this and may not even post it because I’m too scared that they will see. Less than two years ago- I had a horrible falling out with my roomates. Long story short, they were costumers and blamed me for their mess. Eventually i stopped caring to pick up after them, and they began spouting horrible things behind my back. Without so much as speaking to me about the things being thrown around, I lost at least a half dozen friends. None of whcih ever told me why they suddenly wouldn’t speak to me, avoided me, and outright ignored or yelled at me whenever I was in the room. I still remember that time I finally got over my fear and went to a get together at a friend’s house- I hadn’t been there in some time. I walked into the door and say Hello- immediately greeting by my roomate telling me angrily that my ferrets had chewed a cord and that I owe her $10. Not another cord, $10. I politely accepted, but mentioned that ferrets don’t chew wires, and it was more likely that her loose chinchillas had frayed the cord. No. This was unacceptable and it was clearly my ferrets. I was ignored the rest of the night, and left early.

I quickly found myself making fast friends with another group. This group saved me at the time. Instead of staying at home with my favorite box cutter, thinking of new ways to disguise the wounds, I would stay out with them and be invited and welcome. Instead of forgetting to load the spare gun, I was laughed with and met with cheer... I quickly begun seeing only these people. I made it a point that I would rather be with them than the “Friends” who were patronizing me. They shortly began chiding me for hanging out with new friends, rather than them. One friend even went as far to say “Well, Carissa, Don’t forget, We’re your friends, too,” snobbishly to me as I politely refused to join them for another get together. My reaction was mixed whenever they decided to move out... together. They were essentially packing up and leaving me behind. My other roomate even refused to take our shared dog for *Any* amount of time. He is rightfully mine now, and he is far better off. It was to be the two of them and one’s new boyfriend. I figured this would be the end to all of my friendships from that group. Every day our whole house was littered with props, costumes, fabrics and scraps... Making it impossible for our dog to get around and dangerous for my cat as they would leave scissors, pins, needles and other dangerous things laying in the middle of the room. Small accessories and beads that any animal would try to eat. And everytime I tried to be helpful and move their things, I’d get yelled at for “Touching their stuff” before they were done using it. Good Riddance. Could finally clean my damn house. I was mostly happy because four of the friends I had come to love in the other group had decided to move in. Two would live upstairs, and two downstairs. At first, we noticed an electricity problem with the basement. This caused us concern, but my wonderful father was able to swoop in and save the day. With his own time, money and resources he was able to set up several outlets and circuit breaker just for the basement. It was phenomenal. They were happy. They basically had a whole house downstairs at half the price. They said it couldn’t get better. They said they were planning on staying for a long time. They all did. Things went wrong. The first issue happened near Christmas time. We had been warned before that our downstair’s roomate had issues with new years and Christmas because his Grandma had commit suicide. We all felt badly for him, and gave our condolences and told him we’d try to make it better for him. That was well in theory, not in practice. I don’t remember how it started... All I remember is the slamming on my door. I remember the insults “You’re fucking filthy” “You have no idea how to handle animals” “You’re dog is a piece of shit” “You’re fucking stupid” ... I could only meekly stand in the doorway as these things were screamed at me, right to my face, centimeters away. I remember willing myself not flinch as he rounded on me threateningly- seemingly towering above me at that instant. I also remember not a single person in that house standing up for me. At one point, I yelled back. Screaming as he left after insulting me about my animals and intellegence. “You need to come back here, and say that my Fucking Face!” I didn’t know i was able to yell anymore. I don’t remember what ended it. He suddenly seemed to snap out of it, and apologized. He hugged me and light heartedly told me I snapped him out of it after yelling (This was another 5 minutes after he continued to scream). I was shaking. I was shaking too badly to even react. I did not want to hug him. Everyone forgot about the incident after that. They sat with each other joking about his “Bad temper”... It was over for him and the others. I stayed in my room and cried myself to sleep. Days went by, and I convinced myself that it was me. Maybe the ferret cage could stand to be cleaned more. Maybe the dog would benefit from a tie out and more tricks. Maybe I am stupid. Maybe I don’t deserve the job or animals I have- and all of the animals in my care- at home, and at work- are suffering. We began to roll back along, and he assured me that it wouldn’t happen again and that he would be seeing a therapist. I just remembered what started it. I usually park my car in the carport, and that night I had parked it in front of the house instead. The girlfriend downstairs came into my area, mad that I had “Taken her spot”- we had no designated spots, and I had previously stated that our driveway was a 90 degree angle and that sometimes I couldn’t get up it. A neighbor had taken up the other spot in front of the house, forcing her to park several more feet away. “I’m sorry, I can’t control where the neighbors park. It’s just going to happen sometime.” I said back. She left, seemingly appeased. Not five minutes later there was slamming on my door for the first attack. Screaming and Demanding that I “Move my fucking car right this fucking second”... That is how it started. Little attacks would happen here and there. He would get angry about noise, slam his way upstairs, throw something against a wall, tell we’re all fucking idiots and that would be the end of it. He works morning shifts, so often has to be in bed by 7:00pm. We tried our very best- but none of us were used to be dead silent by those times at night. It didn’t help that downstairs girlfriend would bark at us if even a sliver of noise was made while she was sleeping. There was no talking allowed most times. Between 7:00pm to Noon the next day there was no singing, talking, no cleaning or vacuuming... Heaven forbid the dog bark or try to play... There are two instances that stick out. I’ve started a youtube channel- one that focuses on letsplays and cover songs. Original, right? One night, around 9:00, my other GOOD roomate and I decided to do a letsplay together. We were playing and talking at a less than normal volume- laughing and having fun. Not ten minutes into the game, Downstairs girlfriend texts us “You’re being too loud and I open tomorrow. Please quiet.” She opens at 9am. There was another instance where I was finishing up a cover song, and silently singing in my room. I get a text “You’re voice sounds wonderful but trying to sleep” Irked, I decide to at least practice and whisper sing. I am listening to a track on headphones, and whispering it in order to get some work in. “I can still hear you. Pls shh” I closed my program and gave up. There are other little things. Making me seem the outcast of the group in a joking way- “Everyone come sit on the couch that Carissa’s NOT sitting on!” or “Oh, Carissa’s here- Time for everyone to leave!” ... Small things that I assumed were just their way of showing love... Odd love. None of the other four roommates ever said anything.  Until my good roommate began to catch on. She would go out of her way to include me- not call me stupid names and invite me with the others. They would often leave without saying anything. By they- I mean the three actual, paying, roomates- and their friend who lived in our living room three days out of the week for free. No one has ever seen this as a problem? He stays here three days out of the week, every week. He uses the shower and toiletries every day.. He sleeps with the TV on and uses our WiFi and data... No one can use the main room while he is here... Three days out of the week.. He makes a mess out of the kitchen, but it’s okay that he doesn’t clean up after himself because he made everyone food? Oh- Just you guys because you paid for ingredients? LET ME REPEAT. NONE OF THEM SEE WHY THIS IS WRONG EXCEPT MY GOOD ROOMMATE AND I. We have brought up the cost of the extra person to all three of the others, even the good roommates BROTHER chided her for not being “Welcoming to our friend”. Our friend who rudely chastises her and I. A friend who frequently ignores and doesn’t speak to the two of us. A friend who has recieved gifts and praise from us without so much as a thank you. Our friend. It didn’t help whenever the brother roommate actually managed to land a girlfriend. I’m sad to say that I had been crushing on him FAR TOO LONG (At all) and I essentially set him up with his new girlfriend. Upsetting at the time, but Thank Hell it happened. Within a month of dating, she is here several days and nights out of the week. She as a person is wonderful- very friendly and sweet and always brings baked goods... But also another person using internet, electricity, utilities and shower and such... We are essentially living as a Seven Person Household in a house meant for three. By this point- It is never clean. Sure- it’s “Clean” but how clean can a house REALLY be with seven people essentially living there, one living in a room you can’t touch for days because they sleep in there ALL THE TIME throughout the WHOLE DAMN DAY. Good roommate and I notice a trend. The dishes that don’t get done all belong to the roommates who have now been hassling us about keeping the upstairs clean. The towels and underwear that are left in the bathroom belong to no one on the upstairs. The mail and papers left littered on the table belong to other hands... The floors are dirty and we hadn’t walked on them in days... Good roommate and I were getting fed up with cleaning for the others. At this point my hand is insanely cramped. I am going to take a break for a bit and come back.

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 116, August 2018

Last Saturday afternoon, I decided to spend my day off work by visiting the Mornington Peninsula Regional Gallery for the National Works on Paper 2018 exhibition. It’s not very often that I have a day to myself to not worry about the many commitments in my life. Being on open area at Dunns Road Reserve, there was absolutely no protection from the strong gusty winds blowing over the peninsula. As it turns out, today they had some artist talks on that afternoon and I figured that I might as well stick around for at least one of them.

The first talk was by Cameron Robbins who produces “wind drawings” using a wind machine which features many turbines, pulleys, wires, a rotating drawing board, a weather vane and a black fineline pen. Along with the MPRG curator Danny Lacy, Cameron discussed how variables such as the wind speed, wind direction, rain and sunlight impacts on what the drawing produced will look like. He also brought up concepts like Chaos Theory and Fractal Design as inspirations for his work as an artist.

The artist talks drew quite a large crowd today of around 50-60 members which was very unexpected. I had a brief wander around the exhibition and was very impressed by the high quality of the artwork. Lots of hours and so much detail went into these pieces which covers everything from paintings and drawings to sculptures, collages and mixed media works. Whilst I’ve pretty much gone on hiatus as an artist myself, I will always have a huge appreciation for art and fellow artists in the community. https://mprg.mornpen.vic.gov.au/Exhibitions/Current-exhibitions/2018-National-Works-on-Paper

On Monday night, I had my second session with the Men of Doveton health and fitness program at Doveton College. This week we started the session downstairs in the gym where we did some footy training lead by Mitch from the Casey Demons. It’s actually been about 16 years since I last did anything football related and re-learning the sport tonight brought up some emotional issues in me from high school. Part of it is that fact that I’m not the biggest fan of footy and never really got into it. http://www.melbournefc.com.au/casey-demons

Playing any kind of team sport during my P.E. classes was something that I really didn’t enjoy whatsoever. I had fears around being hit in the face by the ball, being tackled by other students, doing something dumb if I was in possession of the ball and been made fun off because I was really terrible at footy. It was a huge weakness of mine both ball-handling skills and getting involved during a game.

Thankfully tonight, all of those hurts from the past have been laid to rest. All the guys in the Men of Doveton program are starting at ground zero and this is very much a supportive and encouraging environment. The aim is to basically just have a go and participate as much as possible. We started by doing some hand balling at a distance of 5 meters then doing some kick-to-kick at 10 and 15 meters.

Of course the footballs were flying in all directions but it was honestly fine. It was all about having fun and not taking things too seriously. I did well to not let that 16 year old version of Michael Dixon out. He would have been off the footy field trying everything possible to avoid the ball. Next we did a few games and drills, learning how to bounce the ball properly, aiming and kicking at goals and avoid being tagged by other players.

Lastly, we got divided into two teams: the plains and the whites and played a game of basic footy with just hand balling and no contact. This was another thing I used to struggle with back in high school is that nobody ever passed the ball to me because they knew I was a weak player and would end up making the team lose. But again that stuff was a long time ago and I did my best to get involved by passing the ball around and being distracting to the opposite team. It actually felt good participating in a sport I haven’t played in a very long time.

The second half of the session focused on mental health issues. After catching our breaths (Seriously so not used to running up and down a basketball court), we returned to the theatre and Mo gave everyone a journal for us to keep and write down any positive thoughts, things that we’re grateful for, reflections etc in. Writing is a huge part of me and probably the area I have the least amount of difficulty in. However, I do sometimes get forgetful and need to remember to actually do it.

Lastly we had a guest speaker named Greg from Beyond Blue talking about his personal experiences with Bipolar disorder. Being an Irishman, we was very animated and funny but also understandably nervous about sharing his story. I could very much relate to his degree of denial and assuming that “I’m fine” after one or two counselling sessions. There are always underlying issues to be found and back when I was originally diagnosed with depression and anxiety over 10 years ago, I wasn’t ready to open up or unpack my baggage. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

The most important things I learned from Greg’s talk is the importance of finding the right counsellor or therapist for you, having lots of support and people you can trust in, not being afraid to speak up about mental health issues, accepting that it’s okay to not be okay as well as express normal human emotions. I really didn’t feel comfortable enough to speak up about my own issues in this large group setting but it’s something that I’m working towards. https://www.caseystadium.ymca.org.au/whats-on/upcoming-events/event/men-of-doveton-free-health-program-2

On Tuesday night, I attended the first of four NDIS workshops hosted by AMAZE (Formerly Autism Victoria) at Bunjil Place in Narre Warren. I haven’t fully processed the fact that my access request was successful and that I’m now officially an NDIS participant so now I have a reason to attend these workshops beyond just gaining knowledge and information. A lady named Pamela Gatos, who presented at the info night a few months back, has returned to run this workshops designed to better prepare NDIS participants for the journey ahead. http://www.amaze.org.au/2018/04/amaze-announces-ndis-information-sessions-and-workshops-sign-up-now/

There were about 20 other parents, carers and people with autism in the same meeting room as I was. The silence was very uncomfortable for me but I was 100% determined to push through it. I did find that Pam could come across as blunt, intimidating and snarky at times, often making very sarcastic comments about the NDIS and all the negative stories she’s heard about it.

To be fair, her opinions can be justified as I myself has found the NDIS to be a very daunting, overwhelming and confusing system to wrap my head around. She also has a lot of experience working with current participants and families with autistic kids and adults so she knows what she’s talking about.

Tonight’s workshop focused on the topics of: The 3 types of management for the funding of supports (Self Management, Plan Management and Agency Management), the NDIS Pricing Guide July 2018, how to access the NDIS portal via the mygov website, the 3 types of Supports (Core, Capital and Capacity Building) and the 15 support categories. https://www.ndis.gov.au/participants/reasonable-and-necessary-supports

It was a lot of information to process but it did get me thinking about which supports I should be asking for in my plan. The ones I could identify for myself include: Improved living Arrangements, Increased Social and Community Participation, Finding and Keeping a Job, Improved Health and Wellbeing, Improved Life Choices and Improved Daily Living Skills. https://abilityoptions.org.au/ndis/ndis-supports-categories

The challenge now is to find arguments to justify why these supports are reasonable and necessary. It’s probably the most difficult part of the whole process as it’s an important part of the planning meeting and developing my first plan. It’s going to take many baby steps but I know I’ll get there. Still I really wasn’t a fan of Pamela’s attitude and personality. She came off as a judgemental bitch and wasn’t very constructive.

Being the odd-one-out (an adult diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder rather than a child), I didn’t feel supported or accepted in that meeting room. I walked out of this first workshop feeling very conflicted and confused as I really didn’t like Pamela’s views or approach to NDIS preparation. So I think that I’m going to look elsewhere. https://www.ndis.gov.au/operational-guideline/planning/participant-statement-goals

On Friday afternoon, I saw my counsellor Ruth at Piece Together Counselling in Narre Warren. The high velocity winds outside and poor quality of sleep have really impacted on my moods and emotions this week. I’ve found myself taking a lot of things personally including my opinions about the UNIFY 2019 lineup and my decision not to go next year, the pressures placed upon me by others including customers and members of the general public. It all got a bit much for me this week and now I’m feeling drained and exhausted.

Ruth reminded me of the importance of using Cognitive Behavoural Therapy and not allowing myself to fall into the trap of maladaptive thinking. It’s the reason why I often take things so personally. To essentially consider alternative explanations for the way other people react to situations and not believe that I’m the sole cause of it. She also pointed out that using my journal more regularly is vital to focus more on the positive aspects in my life. https://www.succeedsocially.com/challengethoughts

On Friday night, I went to my Strength and Circuit small group training session at CinFull Fitness. I was honestly feeling like shit after some posts on social media was dragging me down inside plus I was mentally drained from how busy my week has been. Tonight I was training with a couple of other clients. We did some warm-up drills with the dead balls doing overhead squats and ball slams plus walking lunges with dumb bells, kettle bell swings and push-ups.

Next we did a series of exercises to work and tone the biceps and triceps including rows, kick-backs and curls, tricep push-ups and lifts. Lastly we did some core training using the med balls including overhead situps, pull ups with leg extensions and Russian twists. It was very difficult for me to keep up as I was fatiguing and feeling out of breath a lot quicker than the others and Cinamon noticed straight away. Plus lots of sweat but that’s nothing new for me.

I guess I want to do the best that I can but also have to be aware and mindful about my physical limitations. I have to keep reminding myself that there’s no shame in needing to stop and rest, that nobody is going to judge me for not being as physically fit as they are. Doing strenuous exercise is still a struggle for me but I’m determined to keep plugging away at it, no matter how long it takes me. I want to continue to lose weight and improve my fitness as I need to make classes like these a regular part of my routine. https://www.facebook.com/CinFullFitness/

“I watched them go 'round and 'round. My blouse wrapping itself in your trousers. Oh the waves are going out. My skirt floating up around my waist. As I wade out into the surf. Oh and the waves are coming in. Oh and the waves are going out. Washing Machine.” Kate Bush - Mrs. Bartolozzi (2005)

“There were hundreds of people living here. Sails at the windows. And the planes came crashing down. And many a pilot drowned. And the speed boats flying above. Put your hand over the side of the boat. And what do you feel?”  Kate Bush - A Coral Room (2005)

[pawlikautomotive]

2002 Porsche 911; Electrical Short Repair Bernie Pawlik, Pawlik Automotive Vancouver, BC http://pawlikautomotive.com  (604) 327-7112

Mark: Hi, it’s Mark from Top Local, we’re here with Bernie Pawlik, Pawlik Automotive in Vancouver, Vancouver’s best auto service experience. Merry Christmas Bernie.

Bernie: Merry Christmas Mark

Mark: So we’re getting to the end of the year, I guess you guys are going to be closed from this, so this is probably our last broadcast for this year.

Bernie: It is, but a good year of broadcasts, we’ve done a lot and I’m proud of the content we’ve created. It’s pretty awesome. All the people who have watched, so thank you everyone who watches.

Mark: Good bye 2017

Bernie: Yes, good bye 2017. You can count on a lot of new content in this coming up year in 2018.

Mark: Yeah, so today we’re talking about a Porsche 911, a 2002 you had to do an electrical repair. What was going on with this fine German sports car.

Bernie: The client came to us with a, he was blowing a couple of fuses and the fuse we found blown were for the turn signal and the hazard lights. So the first step of course, is to verify the clients concern and replace the fuses which promptly blew as soon as we turned the right signal on, not the left, but the right.

Mark: Ok, so you tried the fuse, what did you do next?

Bernie: So the next step of course is go ok why fuses? Fuses normally blow for a reason. Occasionally we’ll actually replace a fuse and it won’t blow, it’s fine, it was like a one off occurrence but most of the time, there’s something going on there and if a fuse blows immediately and when you turn the right signal on, you know the problem is somewhere in that area. So we diagnosed a few things, looked at several components, found an issue with the turn signal switch and also the flasher relay as well. They weren’t functioning properly, so we replaced those two pieces and the fuse continued to blow. So we’ve repaired a couple things but hadn’t got quite to the root of the problem yet.

Mark: Ok, so this is getting deeper, so where do you go from there?

Bernie: The next step is to pull a wiring diagram out of the vehicle and go ok where are things hooked up. The other thing I didn’t mention is we also pulled the lights out, we looked at the bulbs because sometimes a bulb will have an internal short. We replaced the bulbs, we inspected everything in the light house are some of the easiest things to do. It may verify that everything was working fine in that area but also unplug the lights, you know again, the fuse would blow. So we knew the problem is in the wiring of the vehicle somewhere. So our next step was to pull up a wring diagram and at this point I’ll share a few pictures, so let’s get into some photos. So here’s our 2002, nice convertible 911 sports car. I just want you to remember this area of the car here where I’m circling my mouse pointer, this is where the actual issue, well actually on the other side of the car but this is the area where we found, finally found the problems. We’ll just give you a little pre idea of where things went. Here’s a wiring diagram of what we had to deal with. So you’re thinking, oh it’s an electrical problem, probably easy. Well, sometimes it can be but a lot of times it can be really complicated. This is the entire lighting system of the 2002 911. There’s a lot of wires here, obviously, these items on the top of the wiring diagram indicate the various components, this is the front right lighting system for instance, so there’s a number of bulbs. I guess that this picture is not big but it kind of gives you an idea. This is what goes into the right front headlight assembly. This goes to the left and these are the right rear light, the left light is I believe this one here, it looks like a similar item. This yellow mark here, the first thing you do when you’ve got a wiring problem, you go, ok it’s definitely on the right hand side of the vehicle because that’s what always pops the fuse. Let’s look at the circuit, what’s on it and where could the problem be? We found an interesting test, you know, and we eventually instead of just keeping blowing fuses, we have a circuit breaker we can connect. So what we found was interesting is when you turn the right light on, the right front light would come on just before the fuse pop and when we turn it on the left, the right rear one would not come on which kind of indicated the short was probably in the back and that’s the direction we started to go. Now, you know what’s involved in something like that. Well a lot of stuff needs to be removed. Here’s the interior of the vehicle with the turn signal switch, steering wheel off,  this is exposing a lot of the wiring down here to test the various circuits. You’ve got to start at one end and pick your end and that’s where we went. So I’ll share a couple more photos here. Actually we’ll get to this one in a second. We’ve got this is the tail light here, so that’s kind of where the direction we went, we knew there was a short in the right rear circuit somewhere. So where am I at in my questions Mark? I know I’ve done a lot of pictures here.

Mark: Well just that next was the wiring diagram, was that unusually complicated?

Bernie: It’s actually not. I mean there’s, it’s not actually really any more complicated than you’d find in probably a Toyota of similar vintage. I mean you’ve got basically four bulbs back here and you’ve got your bulbs in the front so it just gives you and idea of what goes into building a car and the wiring systems within a car, there’s a lot to it, not exceptionally more complicated than a lot of other cars. Although a number of cars have bulb warning systems. I don’t believe this car does have it but if you have a light bulb that’s out, a lot of European cars have them. If you have a bulb that is out, it’ll put a warning on your dash. It’d be kind of annoying because cars, you see in the back right here, there’s four bulbs, I can’t even think you know, there’s got to be at least 20 exterior bulbs on every car and so if one of them goes out and it puts a warning light on and it’s good to know, but it can be kind of annoying because you fix one and then a month later another one goes off and you know, at least you know but… Ok yeah, it’s not exceptionally more complicated. I’ll just get right to the heart of what we found with this vehicle. So what we did eventually find is after accessing this wire here, which gets buried into, goes into, through a hole and then into a grommet, and if you’d wiggle the wire around it would start popping the breaker which is great. Ok we’re on the right track. When we started peeling the covering off the wiring, we couldn’t find anything. To access the wiring further we had to move the convertible top up and down, so we did that and all of a sudden the short stopped and ok what’s going on here. It’s like you know we couldn’t, it wouldn’t blow the fuse anymore. Ok well what have we done here that’s different? Well we moved the top. So we peeling some of the covers back to access the wiring and that’s where we found the problem and that is right here. This wiring harness goes in from the engine compartment in through, under the convertible top under a cover and this is a little bracket that just holds a little cable for the convertible top mechanism. The bracket is bolted down but it does move around a tiny little bit so over the years, you can see this wiring isn’t fallen insulated, you can’t quite see down here, but this is where the short was occurring and when we finally found it, I could actually touch the wire, you could see it sparking against the metal piece. So it’s good we have fuses because otherwise wires would melt. There’s another picture here and this actually shows the shorted wire here. So again here’s our bracket, there’s the wiring harness bundle and you can see this black spot on the wire here, where the arrow points, that is the shorted wire to the right rear turn signal. So the steps of course to repair it are, disassemble the wiring harness, repair the wire, tape everything out, make sure there’s no further damage, then we put some extra protective rubber coating around the wire so this would never happen again. So that’s our wiring repair in a nutshell.

Mark: So how often you come across an issue like or similar to this?

Bernie: You know, not that often. I mean we do get wiring shorts from time to time but you know, they do happen but it’s not too common. Usually there’s a component at the end of the circuit or something that’ll cause a problem so it’s usually easier to figure out than this. This was, I like doing this hangout because this kind of shows some of the work we have to go through in our business. People have an expectation though it’s probably something like a simple short. Well these can be the worst problems to find because they’re just, you know, just a slight little manufacturing defect, had they put a little more insulation on the wiring harness, it wouldn’t of happened and of course, the car is 15 years old. So that’s a fair amount of time and things happen. i wouldn’t call it bad manufacturing or anything but that’s kind of the way things work. We don’t see a lot of them but enough of them to keep life interesting.

Mark: And how is this generation of Porsche for reliability?

Bernie: They’re really good. Yeah, they’re very good cars, I you know, they’re the kind of sports car where you can drive it every day, quite reliable, they don’t break down, they don’t need a lot of tuning and tweaking, there are relatively few problems. The owner of this vehicle has ben a client of ours for a long time and we don’t see him very often, you know if doesn’t really need a whole lot of work. So it’s a pretty good car.

Mark: So there you go, if you’re looking for some service for your vintage Porsche in Vancouver, the guys to see are Pawlik Automotive. You can reach them at 604-327-7112 to book ahead, that’ll be in January 2018 though. You can check out in the meantime our website pawlikautomotive.com tons of videos and information on there or check out our YouTube channel Pawlik Auto Repair, 4 or 5 years worth of videos there. Thanks Bernie.

Bernie: Thanks Mark.

https://www.youtube.com/user/pawlikautorepair https://plus.google.com/u/0/104437348234668995906/about

2002 Porsche 911; Electrical Short Repair 2002 Porsche 911; Electrical Short Repair

[thegnasticious]

Funeral For A Friend

It’s a typical January day, chilly and no oxygen in the air. 

Grey from the sky above seems to resonate through the streets below. 

Not one bird dots any of the barren trees. Little colored lights blink throughout the fronts of houses. Christmas and the rush of December had come and gone leaving the stale stench of engine fuel about. 

A little funeral home sits, almost glowing in the pale winter weather. Inside the ceilings are much too low, there is a stench of dust throughout the whole place. People are about the funeral home, drinking, talking and gathering for someone who was taken too soon.

Two women in Black dresses sit deliberating in corner.

“Did you see Johnny back there?” one woman said.

“No” the other responded.

“He just offed and cried, like it was about him or something, I mean I wanted to do that, but just like hold together you know....” the woman said.

“I can’t believe he did that in front of everyone, I mean if you’re a girl it’s one thing, but I mean if you’re a guy, it’s like come on, the least you can do is hold it together for the rest of us. I don’t think anyone wants to be here” the other said.

Above them a little light seemed to stutter with electricity. It dimmed than lit really bright. Neither of them or anyone else seemed to notice. The electricity hummed through the little copper lined wiring throughout the ceiling. It traveled at an impossible speed, like a seismic tremor. The hum hit a junction box nearby and sputtered as it met it’s conductor, being generated into a million little volts in all directions. 

In a junction box very similar, this sputter transfers hitting the wires of a phone line and traveling to a luxurious condo far in the hills of California. 

A man with Dark Black hair sits amongst of a slew of lavish partygoers. Far above the Arroyo Seco trenches, his house looks like a monolith of unknown proportions. This man just ingested an amount of cocaine that would most likely put down a full grown horse. Somehow he was still cohesive enough to sense the people raving about his house, in his trance he could see through the walls, see their heat, their movement; the inhuman nature of the whole thing. He focused on one woman not too far making out with a man in a corner, that was when his friend and accomplice, Frank, smacked him in the face

“You still here Greg? Someone’s on the phone for you”

he said, handing him a custom-designed black phone.

The man grabbed the phone, his pupils growing in size as the phone neared his ear.

A dark voice sounded in, “Funerals have begun. Money on it’s way”.

The phone then clicked off, and Greg slammed it back to his friend’s chest, almost knocking him off his feet.

“Don’t ever smack me again” he said,

and continued to rail gigantic lines of white powder.

Far below the echoes of the party above bounce off the canyon walls. The loudness carries and syphons into the caves below, twisting into inhuman pitches and noises. From below, you’d think the people above were the true ghosts of the valley.

In this valley there walks a lone man. Fully suited and smoking a cigarette. He seems out of place, almost like an alien. The evening sun was beginning to sink below the cliffs and darkness was growing throughout. He did not seem slightly phased, and continued to walk through the valley. As the darkness grew ahead of him, a cypress tree grew from the sand. It’s barren branches reached and creaked out. An ancient melody began to emit from the creeks and groans, in an enchanting fashion. The man walked closer to the tree, and a bird flew from the darkness. It perched a branch right in front of him. It’s feathers glowed a golden glow around it’s shape, alike to a finch.

“Greg” he said, and reached out to it.

The bird pecked him, dotting a bit of blood on his hand.

“They turned me into a fucking bird, Johnny” 

it said with a man’s voice.

That’s when Johnny snapped out of it, partially. 

A picture of different species of finch’s adorned the wall in front of him.

“You fucking idiot Greg” he thought out loud.

After gathering himself and wiping away some tears he decided to approach the only 2 people he knew in the whole place. 

“How’s it going girls?” he said to the two black dressed women in the corner.

“About as good as a funeral goes” one said.

“Not really a place to see people” the other one said.

“Haven’t seen you guys in years, when was the last time we saw each other? It was at Greg’s party right? Wow, that brings back some memories” he said partway smiling now.

“Not things we all want to fully remember” one girl said and laughed

“Give ‘em a break Beatriz” the other girl said.

“So where have you guys been?” Johnny said.

“All over, we’ve stuck together like birds of a feather since that party at Greg’s. He just left me so bad that night. I miss him, but I don’t, you know” Beatriz said.

“I understand. He slashed the wheels on my motorcycle a few times and stole things from me when I was trying to help him out. Everything with him, was just like a nightmare you know. Especially after that night. Some people said it was so bad that the feds were watching him. I used to think, Greg no, that’s not him, but too many times I’d find myself cleaning his messes then, making him look like what I wanted him to be, maybe that was my mistake. Having faith whatsoever. Why do so many people kill themselves at Christmas? I just don’t get it” Johnny said.

“This town, the drugs, the energy, we keep losing people, when is it going to stop? Why can’t anything be right?” the other girl said.

“This night is for Greg, lets get off this topic” Beatriz said.

Yet again a small stutter happened in the light above. This time it glowed much brighter, Johnny was the only one to take note of it. But he ignored it, figuring it was just an electrical problem. This tremor traveled to the same junction at a much slower speed, almost turtle like, the growth of vibration cascading throughout the millimeter sized wires. As this vibration grew towards the circuit junction a color ignited from the normal blue of electricity. Warm pinks, deep reds, and the blackest of blacks exploded throughout. The tremor traveled to a light far away, still blinking at a party somewhere, above the same three people. A disembodied presence climbed to the corners of their vision, dancing in the darkness, and etching the ceiling. The light blinked showing increments of actions between the three. An exchange of words, an exchange of drinks and feelings. Soon enough their actions became animated in the strobe like flashes. Then it flashed to a bathroom mirror, blank.

A face grew from reflected darkness. It was Greg, but he was unlike I had ever seen him before. A crooked grin held his face, soon it tuned to a broken smile as it grew closer. I could see his features beginning to disappear, first his nose, then his hair, soon enough he formed into a mass of deformed matter. He looked at his deformed self, blank and souless. His eyes darkened to a deep black, and he slipped out 4 different doses of LSD from his pockets. 3 Were marked in deep Red. “This’ll do the job”, he thought

 He took the Blue slip, and his face receded into the darkness reflected in the mirror. 

Soon enough it flashed back to the room, and he was giving the other three to them. The flashes continued turning into a fast sequence of groping and sex, as if none of them had any control. Greg could see himself far above in the darkness, pulling the strings of everyone below, but every so often, he’d make himself out, and for some odd reason, he no longer recognized the being that was down there. The face would deform, and alter into a timeless being. A lost narrator guiding the story at every unforeseen switch-up. The flashes soon eased to the morning sun coming up. Greg was no longer there, but the three lie sprawled out on the floor.

None of them seem to move, Police knock the door open and within seconds they were all pronounced dead. 

Johnny’s motorcycle was towed away to the local junkyard. 

Beatriz and Gwen’s cheerleading uniforms were put into evidence bags along with cocaine that was placed all over the scene. 

The house was soon to be demolished to a vacant lot of land, where one lone cypress tree would grow in coming years