#haha fortunate. like. Like. Like

[renshengs]

hmm i do think that danmei and dangai (censored danmei cdrama adaptations) being many non-chinese fandom people's first impression of chinese media has given them some misconceptions about mainstream chinese media, and it shows in a way that i find very frustrating when seeing discussions about cdramas on here. dangai dramas aside, even if government censorship didn't exist, the chances of your favorite cdrama gay ship becoming canon is about as high as the chances of any of those iconic homoerotic male friendships in a western TV show becoming canon. which is to say: extremely low.

what i think is that internationally huge danmei fandoms like mdzs and tgcf and drama adaptations like cql and shl have really fucked with people's conceptualization of danmei, in that they're using it as this reference point when analyzing relationships in all other forms of cn media, including cdramas and chinese games, which then manifests into people making very bold, very dubious claims about "queercoding" because 2 characters from a random cdrama reminds them of the one or two danmeis they'd encountered that shaped their entire perception of chinese media. basically it's this meme:

many people here need to understand that cdramas and chinese films are obviously mainstream forms of fictional media in china, just like how the mcu or the doctor who franchise is mainstream in the US and UK, or like shonen is mainstream in japan. not to burst your bubble of happy ignorance, but homoromantic relationships such as qingming/boya from the ying yang master are—for lack of a better term—fujobait. they are fujobait. bromances, because those sell well and everyone knows it. popular ships like bakudeku were not actually made canon in mha because shonen is mainstream, and in most industries geared toward maximizing capital, having full-on gay people front and center is considered a monetarily risky move. which sucks, of course, but china is absolutely no different. i promise you that if the govt removed their censorship laws for TV broadcasts, your favorite gay ship from mysterious lotus casebook or the blood of youth or fangs of fortune still wouldn't be canon. they might be allowed a bit more intimacy due to the lack of restrictive filtering, but they are not going to be sucking face for the same reason that gojo and geto from jjk didn't suck face.

danmei is still widely considered niche and risky in china, and if you haven't seen the recent news, authors are still getting arrested for writing it. assuming that chinese fiction, mainstream chinese fiction in particular, operate like dangais where the two guys with the most gay tension would be made explicitly canon were the censors to be lifted, is frankly pretty ridiculous. dangai dramas are adapted from danmeis, which are stories centered on a gay romance and narratively depend on the two guys falling in love. non-dangai dramas are very much... not that, hence why people shouldn't watch them expecting a censored danmei and then forcing assumptions of "my ship would be canon if only it weren't for censorship" on them.

it's very clear when someone who knows absolutely nothing about the actual situation with danmei and queer existence and mainstream TV censorship in china is trying to push their, if i put it crudely, "boss baby meme" perspective onto cmedia. fandom is all about poking at interactions between your favorite characters and giggling and speculating, but i think lots of fandom people (many of them safe in the pockets of their more progressive areas) view govt censorship as this big abstract dam that, if broken, would result in the canonization of all their favorite ships, which is not only an incredibly naive belief but also one that shows how much they view TV censorship as more of a personal inconvenience that's preventing their favorite ships from kissing on screen instead of the looming, deep-rooted issue depriving mainland chinese people of creative freedom it actually is. with cmedia fandoms there's a specific widely popularized "they're so gay omg how did censorship not notice" gag when there's any perceived homoromantic undertones in a story that's both rather insensitive and also ignorant, and many dangai and cdrama fandoms in particular (donghua fans too, link click shippers i'm looking directly at you) could really use some more education and sensitivity regarding this.

i've been in danmei & cdrama fandom spaces for years and post-pandemic this kind of nonsense has definitely gotten worse, especially when you compare shipping discussions here to shipping discussions in cn fandoms. here every 2 seconds someone makes an off-color censorship joke about tgcf donghua and over on douyin they are straight up commenting under the nezha sequel announcement post if there's going to be an oubing kissing scene. granted i obviously cannot see or know everything going on in cn fandom spaces because they are incomprehensibly enormous, but in all the spaces i've been in i've never seen a single censorship joke from anyone. why do people here absolutely insist on making them?

anyway. fandom be normal about chinese media challenge!

[thecoolerliauditore]

beauty of the divorce quartet actually is that no matter where you draw the relationship lines you get a fun and fucked up dynamic to think about

[dramashutup]

They look like a mafia family for the iqiyi scream night 2024 award event :3

I love the hair color on HMH <3

I didn't really pay attention to who won which awards; I know HMH and Chen Duling did receive an award individually and together, I was paying more attention to their arrival clothes and photoshoot than the award show itself lol. As I always do with other award shows too pffftt

[tetedurfarm]

look at my cocks, boy

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

he'll get it eventually

[dramas-and-stuff]

So, about this exchange:

He greets him like that, but then ZYZ:

Ouch? </3 haha...

I know Lilun made the wrong choices, BUT look at him. His "so you haven't changed your mind..." expression there makes me think that deep down, he hoped ZYZ would reconsider his anger towards him after not seeing him for so long, but no... poor thing just missed his best friend!

[fortune-maiden]

Feveruary Day 7: 'I'm still not used to being taken care of'

Live action verse! :D

And also a double drabble because Huang Shaotian Cheng Xiaoshi cannot be contained!

“ – and you can forget the top bunk, when it comes to concussions, let me tell you – ” Cheng Xiaoshi’s mouth didn’t stop moving as he went in and out of the living room, bringing more of their bedroom back with him each time. From the couch, Lu Guang watched helplessly, icepack to his brow, unable to follow the dizzying whirlwind of conversation. That wasn’t because of his actual dizziness. That was Cheng Xiaoshi’s usual effect. “There. We. Go!” The two-hour countdown was set, and Cheng Xiaoshi nodded at the filled up room satisfied. With everything he needed for the night, and then some, he settled in his chair cross-legged with a bag of chips and a smug grin. “It’s funny, isn’t it. I’ve taken so many blows to the head tonight yet I’m still perfectly fine. You, meanwhile, took one and landed in the hospital. Aiyah, lie back down. Didn’t you hear me say I’ll look after you? Is that so hard to accept?” “No, it’s just,” the corners of Lu Guang’s mouth involuntarily twitched upwards. “I guess I’m still not used to being taken care of.” Cheng Xiaoshi gave him a long look. Then piled on another blanket.

[mengyan]

i had been made into an archer, the shadows suiting me best; you were a sun-bright girl forced into immortality, eternal servitude to chosen sacrifice for the people.

i think the first thing you taught me was absurdity. no one that knew me ever dared— through these years i’d become as much of a man as the rest, and it was rare for someone to think of wanting me. not that you did— did you? did you want me, wen xiao, or did you not think so much and just trusted that i would catch you?

sleep was always restless when it came. the heartbreak in a-heng’s new-blue eyes always marked the end of my dreams, because i was too afraid back then to turn around and see the rest of him. one month was enough to grow sick of my chambers, and i retired only when i could no longer keep my eyes open.

but then: a forest, a sea. fog cleared and the ink of you kissed my palm, calling me awake.

xiao, for daybreak, but if i allowed my tongue to loosen just the slightest— xiao, for you.

was it then that i became unable to see much else? was it then when i started seeking you first in every room, your voice in every pitch, your hands, arms, fingers touching mine— and me racing to reach you before you changed your mind? was it then that my heart wavered, and i thought, perhaps, that the dark wasn’t so lonely after all?

i never intended to keep you. i knew your eyes strayed elsewhere— i always noticed you first, but so did he, and him, and everyone that has ever met you. the fate of a goddess, maybe, to be beloved by all, to spill her love as floods to the people— but i knew you had long found your home in the soul of one. bloodbound by contract, kindred through heart and mind— how often i’d find myself rushing to stand before you only for him to already be there. 

the place by your side was never meant to be filled by me. but wen xiao, i’m no less absurd than you taught me to be. i would pray to a false god if it would make you safer; i would shoot even at the heavens if they tried to take you. flesh and blood is all i can offer you— is it too much to let me shield you with it?

later the worst of winter stole away your beloved, your closest friend, but kept me. still alive, rosy-cheeked and frostbitten on my knees in front of you, but the snow might as well have buried me too. live with me, die with them— and you picked up the dagger.

what does that mean, wen xiao? what am i supposed to do about what that means? you pulled me from the abyss, but am i not worthy enough to do the same for you?

the cold began to cling to me. one by one we lost the best and bravest of us, and i could do nothing to stop it. i thought myself useless, a drag, but you took my hand and said, so earnest, so warm, so thawing— i need you. you wouldn’t lie to me, but how badly i wish it were the truth.

it had been at least four fortnights since i’d ceased being afraid, since the fears in my heart stopped festering. they never disappeared, but i could stare at them head-on now, knowing that what a mortal lacks is only the difference of a body. you said that you thought of me as irreplaceable, and so i believed that’s what i was.

a fool’s tenacity is, perhaps, the strongest of all.

i woke to everyone but three gone, your tears pouring from the skies. he left to him white streaks in his hair, horseback roaming, world seeking; he left to you an age-old vow on paper, in jade, an impermanent parting, a once-more isolation.

and you left to me not even a farewell.

how is it that the demon hunting bureau is fuller than ever yet so grave with silence? how is that what i guard is no longer home to anyone that used to live in it?

i must be going mad, sometimes, to hear bells that no longer ring, bickering that never ends, idioms i’ll never be able to correct; to smell food i’ll never taste again, wine i’ll never get to drink, sulfur from cases unsolved; to see golden eyes, the rustle of notebook pages, the swoop of a brush— and feel the lilt of you, so willing for me to stay.

and so, absurdly, ridiculously, stupidly— i’m still here, wen xiao, and this is how i’ll remain. come and see me just once, and ask me what i asked you. three hundred years in a sundial: was it hard? the rest of my life with only your memory to keep me company— i’ll answer you the same.

don’t you want to know what my big-as-him secret is? i’ll give you a hint: if you see him in the rain, i see you in stone. just as pillars hold up these roofs, this city— the cliff i hung from was too-steep, yet you held me by the soles of my feet, dug yourself into my palms, and said look up, pei-jiejie. dawn has come.

the morning will always return after night. but wen xiao, when will you?

[ryuki-draws]

She hasn't been let near the kitchen her whole life

[weaselishmcdiesel]

katnep katnep katnep katnep katnep katnep

How sad, how lovely How short, how sweet To see the sunset at the end of the street

How Sad, How Lovely - Connie Converse

some katnep angst for you :)?

[kittyb1tz]

prertty

[i-cast-zone-of-truth]

So something I really like is how Thich Nhat Hanh defines love in Teachings On Love (I mean, it’s Buddhism, but that comes in a lot of varieties, many of which center concepts differently than this one, etc).

Any way. Pretty much the first thing he does in the book is explain The Four Immeasurable Minds: love, compassion, joy, and equanimity. None of those are defined exactly the way i’d have thought, from a culturally Christian perspective. And in more than one of them he stresses the importance of understanding the beloved. In fact, to the point that understanding is a PREREQUISITE to being able to love someone at all well. And seeking that understanding as a skill that can be cultivated.

What I’m getting at is: the more Zhuo Yichen understood Zhao Yuanzhou, the more he loved him. Even more so, the more Li Lun understood Zhao Yuanzhou, the better he was able to love him. Zhao Yuanzhou, although he came at his new friends with a lot of benevolence, hurt them by assuming about them instead of trying to understand. And that’s really real. (Wen Xiao was miles ahead of everyone with this skill).

I’ve tended to think, ok if I love someone I’ll want to understand them. But it’s really turning out to be that understanding is necessary for love that feels like love to the other person to be possible in the first place.

[gifti3]

do not let this guys polite behavior lower your guard, my goodness

[chemicalarospec]

Gabilliam isn't even rpf to me it's a collective hallucination vision received from angels of god myth passed down from the elders of LiveJournal

[90494]

i just stumbled into this account by chance and i just gotta say that i LOVE your art style (plus you like Hannibal, therefore you’re cool)

YAY HOORAY

[thunderheadfred]

I won’t be able to use the tub tonight because the silicone needs to dry around the drain, but I have been promised a bath as soon as tomorrow evening!!!!

I had a short bath in the hospital recovery room, (not counting the actual water birth) but this will be my first relaxing at-home soak since then and I am SO. READY

I don’t even need walls, just tub