#has more to do with the fact that it will never preface with a proposal from a bloodied john cusack on his knees than anything else 😔🙃

[mobius-m-mobius]

Some people say, forgive and forget. Yeah, I dunno. I say forget about forgive and just accept. And... get the hell out of town.

GROSSE POINTE BLANK (1997) | dir. George Armitage

[charkoal]

Hi! I've read some of your Arcane posts and I was curious to ask what do you think/how do you interpret Vi rejoining the enforcers after the breakup? I haven't read anyone doing an actual analysis on it, most people complain that she's "washed" or that the writers hate her, which doesn't feel like doing a deep dive into her character at all. Thank! Have a lovely day.

Hi! I'll preface by saying I'm not a league player so while I know general lore, most of this will be my personal take and headcanons to fit what I know of where Vi and Caitlyn up in the game.

Vi as a character has always been driven by her loved ones and her need to protect. It's both her greatest strength and her fatal flaw. And I think initially this may be what causes her to re-enter a system she has always stood against. Caitlyn doesn't ask Vi to put the badge on again, would never ask that of her. In fact, I don't think Caitlyn herself wants to go back to the enforcers at first, what with all the guilt from her time as the Commander. She doesn't trust herself to hold that power, and even if she did, she would make sure Vi is okay with her joining before doing anything. And she wouldn't ask Vi in the first place because she'd never want to put Vi in that position, so she would never go back even if she wanted to. I think it's imperative that Vi approaches Caitlyn about it, decides for herself that this is something she wants to do. That's the only way either of them goes back.

Caitlyn is probably talking about some document or other that's made its way onto her desk amongst the numerous piles of papers, detailing how the council is trying to decide what to do with the enforcers. She isn't in the council, but she is still heavily involved in the relief efforts for both Piltover and Zaun. She mentions reading the council's proposed reforms, how she's weary to trust anyone to execute the overhaul properly, and how she thinks they might be better off abolishing the enforcers as a whole and rebuilding from the ground up.

And Vi just knows. Knows that whoever the council picks will never measure up. Knows that she can't stand to watch another generation of kids grow up in fear of those who are supposed to protect them. Knows that she doesn't trust anyone else with this but Caitlyn.

Caitlyn, and maybe herself.

She tells Caitlyn as much. And Caitlyn hesitates, says she shouldn't hold that kind of power again. Refuses to cause any more hurt than she already has, wonders how Vi can still place her trust in her after everything, especially with this.

And Vi just takes Caitlyn's face in her hands and tells her she trusts her because she knows her. Promises she won't do it alone this time, promises "together" and—

And well, Caitlyn has never been able to say no to Vi.

Neither of them are naive enough to think it will be a quick or easy process. Caitlyn is there to make the enforcers better. Vi is there to keep them from getting worse.

Caitlyn creates new policies, roots out corruption, sets the example as sheriff. Vi ensures that that example is followed. She's boots on the ground, leading the enforcers with an iron fist and greeting Zaunites with a gentle heart. Setting her own example even if she doesn't realize it.

Vi couldn't care less about the enforcers. She cares about Caitlyn and she cares about Zaun. Wearing the badge lets her keep other enforcers in check without being framed as an instigator and arrested immediately. She can keep a watchful eye, ensure that at least while she's around, the enforcers won't abuse their power in the name of the law. It might seem small or trivial, one person against dozens, but I don't think Vi has ever been an aerial view kind of person. She can't just trust that the enforcers are getting better, even if there are less incident reports and less arrests being made. She has to witness the change herself, has to look into the face of each and every person she encounters while wearing the badge and see to it that they are not mistreated. She needs them to see a friendly face. And even if some call her a traitor, a deserter, she takes it all in stride. If the price she pays for keeping an enforcer's baton from striking innocent flesh is petty names and the mocking lilt of "lapdog," then she'll shoulder that title gladly.

She wants better for the children of Zaun, better than what she had. That's always been the core of her character, to give to others what she never got. It's even vocalized by her in the first act of season one. She doesn't want kids to grow up without parents, taken by the very people who are supposed to protect. She doesn't want them to feel like they have no one to turn to, no one on their side. She doesn't want them to feel lesser. She wants them to see her and know that as long as she's there, no one will hurt them. And maybe, in the future, it won't just be her and Caitlyn they can go to. Maybe the number of friendly faces can grow.

With Caitlyn spearheading change at the top level, I think Vi believes one day they can achieve that. But it takes a long time for water to trickle from a river to the ocean, and so while they wait for that day to come, Vi will be there to make sure the well doesn't dry up.

That's at least my take on it, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts. Have a good one!

[boy0gutz]

[long rant i am a professional yapper]

something i haven’t really seen anyone point out about the Online Safety Act is the simple question of, why now?

to preface, i don’t at all buy into the rhetoric that it’s “to protect the kids” i honestly could not give less of a shit if a teen watches porn. it is well known that most kids develop an interest in sex during puberty and it’s a completely healthy thing to experience and explore. and the uk government clearly know this because the age of consent is fucking 16. so a 16 year is fully allowed to go out and actually have sex with another real person, but they’re not allowed to watch two people go at it online from the comfort of their own home? and yes, porn has issues, but a) if, again, according to the UK gov themselves, 16-17yos are supposedly mature enough to have sex and accept any potential consequences, including pregnancy and STIs, surely they’re mature enough to be critical of what they watch, and b) the way to address the potential harm of porn is not censorship. proper sex education teaches kids about consent and how to understand and express their desires in a healthy way. censorship leaves kids in the dark and leaves the space unregulated, so they’re actually more likely to find harmful content and more likely not to know how to recognise or understand it. and yes, teens are just going to find alternatives and workarounds anyway and i wish the government the best of luck in trying to ban VPNs, Gmod and Death Stranding lol

but let’s say, for the sake of argument, there is a legitimate concern for the safety of under 18s. again, the question is, why now? what events in the last year would necessitate this level of government intervention over “adult content” when it was seemingly never an issue before? genuinely if there is something i’m missing feel free to point it out but from my perspective, even if there is a potential issue, it’s not any more of an issue now than it was in the many years before this legislation was proposed, and it doesn’t seem like a big enough issue to warrant this grand of a response, if anything it should be the responsibility of parents to monitor what their children are doing online.

recent events would suggest that the true reason this legislation has been introduced is for the purpose of censoring content the uk government finds unfavourable. if you don’t think it’s suspicious that this legislation is following the rise of anti-trans initiatives and crackdowns on pro-palestinian activism by the uk government, and specifically targets sites that speak out against the genocide and provide resources for trans people, and just so happens to use the language of “protect the children” that is so often used to justify fascist measures, then i regret to inform you that the word gullible is written on your ceiling

the governments intentions are very transparent here. the fact that they’re literally calling people who disagree with it nonces should tell you everything you need to know

[welcometogrouchland]

May I ask about your Jason Todd idea? <3

Hm, okay so. How to lay this out sensitively since I know it might be a tad controversial...

Prefacing by saying I'm not an expert on the minutias of Jason characterization. I like him when he appears, I think the battle for the cowl/Morrison era and some parts of modern era for him are Weird and Bad, but I'm not Jason scholar (for that I'd say maybe check out @/tumblingxelian and their great video essays), I'm just trying to think of what might be an interesting step forward for him.

First, the canon facts

Jason got lobotomized and has panic disorder on steroids. By the end of Gotham War (specifically when Jason was. Flying the batplane into the asteroid. God I can't believe that's the plot) he was finding it in himself to power through said panics

In Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #12, the joker gives Jason a "low dose" of joker venom, which has an ambiguous effect on Jason, allowing him to power through the fear (which joker explicitly states is still very much present, just not physically debilitating, like when Jason couldn't run over in either Catwoman #57 or #58, the one with the kid in the building) even though he'd been able to do that sans venom over in Gotham War, like I previously stated.

The effect of said joker venom seems to be lingering for now, minus the creepy grin side effect it gave Jason over in that man who stopped laughing issue, as seen in the latest batman issue (number is escaping me rn, #147??). He still has the stutter which is a shorthand for fear, he's drawn with fearful expressions by Jorge Jimenez, but he says that he's "working through it" thanks to the chemicals

This is both super interesting and kind of maddening as it doesn't completely remove the consequences of what happened in Gotham War, but is trying to sweep them under the rug and get back to business as usual. I, however, propose making said consequences front and center like a fashionable urn on a mantle piece:

Since it's never stated how exactly the joker venom works, and I think the current answer is "it works how the story needs it to" I've decided that because it's a low dose, it eventually wears off. And when it wears off, Jason's back to square one in terms of mental state. Ergo, if Jason doesn't want to live the rest of his life as quaking shivering husk of his former self...he's going to need more.

(read more for the meat of things)

So, Jason self medicates for a condition given to him by the father he has endlessly complicated feelings towards with a cure invented by a man who represents everything he hates in the world who once tried to take everything from him.

Which, insert poetic cinema gif here, I'm quite proud of myself for that one.

Anyway, there's a lot of directions you could take this. Personally I think it'd be interesting to explore Jason trying to get back into the drug trade like he did in UTRH (FULL TRANSPARENCY I HAVEN'T READ THE FULL COMIC, I KNOW BROADSTROKES BUT IM NOT GONNA TRY AND MAKE PARALLELS) as he tries to use the resources (production plants and other drug runners who can hook him up with samples of joker toxin/similar stuff you can probably find around Gotham) to manufacture his own cure that means never having to go back to the joker again. Maybe he ambushes a joker toxin chemical production plant to get his own supply, and then Jason uses this as his foothold back into that world.

This isn't necessarily me saying we should regress Jason alll the way back to UTRH, that was before his anti-hero era and I'm not willing to fully shoot him back into the past. I just think that's not how you tell good stories in a medium like comics. But it'd inherently be a little different just bc he's doing it for different, slightly more self motivated (depending on your take on villain Jason) reasons and the people around him would have a different reaction to it.

Anyway, all sorts of problems can arise! Depending on how you wanna characterize Jason (wayward son who longs to be back in the fold or black sheep who doesn't play by daddy's rules, etc) he can either a) try and hide this criminal enterprise from his giant family full of nosy detectives (good idea there jay) OR do it out in the open, trying to justify himself but still putting himself on the opposite side of the family again (not the law bc that boy hasn't been on the 'right' side of it since he died)

There's also the fact that Jason now needs to take something 24/7 in order to live his life. He essentially can't be without it, he's dependent on it, in fact he'd get sick without it despite any adverse effects it may have on him (which are guaranteed, I mean. No clinical trials)

I imagine it'd be easy to become addicted to it in some way.

And uh. This is the part where it works slightly better as a fanfic pitch than an actual comic pitch. Because as much as I think it'd be such an interesting beat for Jason's character considering his fraught history with addiction and drugs (looks away from that one urban legends story where he suggests terrorising addicts to get to the suppliers and bruce lectures him. The easiest way to make Mr "we don't sell drugs to children" sympathetic and you beefed it)

I also fully recognise that this is a sensitive topic that DC doesn't have the best track record with (although addicts aren't a monolith and feel a number of ways about addictions portrayals in comics) and that there's probably some pitfalls inherent in the premise, namely bc of Jason's background as an impoverished kid and his grey morality, and how those play into stereotypes of addicts. Addiction is already such a misunderstood and stigmatized condition that I imagine playing with it with an antihero might be enough to turn some people off. Addiction is not a moral failing and I'd hate to write it as a moral failing of Jason akin to his willingness to kill, etc.

But with all that said, I think that stereotypes are primarily harmful because of their shallowness. They inhibit understanding of groups labeled "other" by presenting them in simplistic ways that don't portray richness or complexity. And I think a truly good red hood comic could give both sympathy and complexity to Jason, even as an addict. If anything, Jason is a popular character (mostly) and there could be something nice about seeing a main character go through what you're going through, gritty details and all. YMMV (can we bring that back btw?) and it depends on execution. There's a lot of ways it could go wrong, but seeing as it just lives as a hypothetical rn, I think there's also a lot of ways it could go. I mean, not right, it's a downer story beat for Jason but it's mostly meant to be interesting and a vehicle for more stories as Jason navigates it, ya know?

Anyway, I have a lot of spiels littered in my notes app and discord DMs that elaborate on all this (how this could work as act 1 in a broader Jason story where his little operation goes to shit and he has to hit the road (jack) and maybe do some character development for better or worse. I'm a sucker and wanna say better- not squeaky clean better but. Yknow, finding himself to an extent. I recognise I'm a sap and a fool tho. Or how a new outlaws team could factor into either of those eras (since I do like Jason with an outlaws team. It gives him an excuse to exercise his compelling relationships and dynamics with other characters without having to constantly tip-toe around the elephant in the room whenever he's with the batfamily all the time. He just needs a good lineup) but that's all for another time

... though without elaborating on the vision in my head it kind of just sounds like my pitch is "Jason gets addicted to his hyper-anxiety medication" BUT I SWEAR ITS MORE THAN THAT.

It's like. If Jason has struggled as a character (and this is very subjective on my part so feel free to disagree) because he has compelling relationships with all of the batfamily, but also has compelling grey morality that makes it hard to capitalize on those relationships, without the conflict always coming to "Jason stop killing!" "Nuh uh!" OR just being ignored, and the main way writers have addressed this is via reboots instead of arcs...

Then giving Jason and the bats:

real, legitimate and fresh reason for jay to be mad at Bruce (taking their relationship of love with very little understanding to it's most dramatic conclusion)

give the family a real reason to want to bring him back into the fold (feel bad about the lobotomy and it would be pretty immoral to let Jason waste away slowly and painfully because of something Bruce did)

capitalize on all the ways Jason is sympathetic (bc the addiction is a natural lead into his backstory, which is one of his most sympathetic elements)

And the ways in which he's very out of step with the bats post-resurrection (I'd be mad asf too if i came back to life just for my dad to a) not avenge me and b) LOBOTOMIZE ME meanwhile the cunt ass clown giving me my meds is just lurking out there).

Idk it's not a sophisticated pitch as of this moment but I think a real chef (writer) could cook something w/ this

[unseenacademic]

👄 Your OTP are having their first kiss. What song do you imagine is playing?

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment?

🥘What wip are you most excited about?

🎬One of your fics gets turned into a TV series. Which one is it and what network is it on?

🐸 If you incorporated your OTP into a Disney movie plot, which would it be?

👄 Your OTP are having their first kiss. What song do you imagine is playing?

"Everlasting love" by Love Affair. Or the original, lesser known but at least equally as good "Everlasting love" by Robert Knight. Timewise, it almost fits diegetically. Almost. 😊

🏡What is your perfect writing environment?

Me with my laptop on my lap, leaning against large pillows, with a glass of water/cup of tea/coffee or something stronger, depends on the mood and what I'm writing. Oh and very very importantly, without anyone walking around or behind me. I can write while doing other things, like watching TV, listening to music or talking to someone in at least one language lol, but I can't write with someone looking over my shoulder.

🥘What wip are you most excited about?

I'm gonna quote you on that and say all of them!! 😅😅 (if you want to know more about any of these, pleasseeee ask away 💜💜) but let's go with "It Never Could Have Happened in New Hampshire". There's also 'the Proposal Fic' aka my fourth and final contribution to the Valentines Day prompts (fun fact: the title is going to be a line from "Everlasting love", I'm not sure which one yet). "The Hospital Fic" which sadly still doesn't have a title is also something I'm actively working on and can't wait to finish it. I actually watched "What Kind of Day Has It Been" and ITSTG last night and wrote a lot of angsty paragraphs to preface the actual hospital scene. I actually have to credit you & your ask from a few days ago for my renewed interest in that fic 💜💜 Aaaaand finally, there's the "Missing Scene from Dead Irish Writers" that I hope to finish by the end of the month as a birthday present to myself 😅

🎬One of your fics gets turned into a TV series. Which one is it and what network is it on?

The First Lady. It's The West Wing, exactly as it was, but Abbey appears in every episode! So Warner Bros + Max.

🐸 If you incorporated your OTP into a Disney movie plot, which would it be?

Wow, this one is sooooo good! It got me thinking. Okay, having watched Knuckles with that one episode where Stockard (or her double, they really messed that one up lol) beats bad guys up with a frying pan, I want to say Tangled. And I love LOVE "I See the Light", it's a beautiful song. Howeverrrrrr, my answer is The Rescuers! It's absolutely one of my favorite Disney films and honestly, it could work as a sequel to TWW

Thank you, friend! 💜💜

[bisluthq]

As a Chiefs/Travis fan during his relationship with Kayla, I will preface this by saying I don't know what ABSOLUTELY happened and I really have no judgment towards either of them. It just didn't work and I think that both really learned from it. However, Travis and Kayla's relationship was way more on/off than I would presume Taylor and Joe's was. The reason for the breakup was probably that Travis didn't want to marry her. This is evidenced by the fact that Kayla continues to say there was no cheating and he is a great dude. Plus, Kayla would consistently write stuff in the comments like Mrs Kelce or like comments like "Travis, where's the ring", and the fact that she was talking about the ultimatum (marry or breakup ?) show on Netflix right before they broke up. But, I will say their first breakup in 2020 was a sign because they broke up and Kayla then proceeded to just move back into his house like nothing happened (Travis never contacted her beforehand). See my impression of Travis is that he can be really dominated by a stronger personality in a relationship and has a hard time pushing a hard line/doesn't like creating conflict. Also, I will say Travis still had a lot of immaturity during their relationship like letting his friends continue to live with him despite complaints from Kayla. So, it definitely perked my ears when Travis bought the new house (w/o friends) immediately after the start of his relationship with Taylor, and do think it is evidence to show how much he grew up/ liked her (Also, that SHS is a little bit of teasing/shaming from Taylor). That's not to say Kayla had no faults because I personally found it a bit ugh how she bragged about having all of his passwords, would literally fight random women on Twitter who would say stuff like "Travis is hot", and consistently call Travis "stupid" "dumb" "lazy" on Instagram lives. In conclusion, I think that Travis definitely showed growth after their relationship ended. Additionally, he and Kayla's relationship always seemed combative and on/off so it never was shocking to me that he would refuse to propose.

good background info thank u

[addermoray]

Rauru’s Hyrule isn’t the first. It’s the 2nd (or 3rd in the adult timeline)

Let me preface this with a self-quote:

They absolutely post-hoc these games into the timeline. But the fun part is figuring out how they're gonna decide to fit them in.

With the knowledge that I’m operating from that viewpoint, hit the jump and let’s talk how the events of TotK don’t have to retcon a single thing that came before if they don’t want it to:

“And now you rule as king and have taken a Hyrulean woman as your wife.”

That line didn’t inspire this notion. I’d already had it worked out before I’d even given it a thought. But it did catch my ear on rewatch after the fact. Ganondorf refers to queen Sonia as a Hyrulean Woman. Not a Hylian woman. A Hyrulean woman. It doesn’t make sense if she and Raoru are the originators of the Kingdom of Hyrule, does it? Sonia is no more or less a Hyrulean woman than Raoru is a Hyrulean man. Hyrulean refers to all of the people of the Kingdom of Hyrule, after all. And I would assume both of its founder would qualify as Hyrulean as well, yes?

But not if the term “Hyrulean” existed before they established their kingdom. Raising the question of how. And why.

I propose that Old Hyrule (or Middle Hyrule in the Adult timeline) existed before Rauru and Sonia’s era. That it fell and that, like in Wind Waker, the land the Zonai descended to was a post catastrophic Hyrule that had long forgotten the details of its past.

If this is the case, it makes everything fit nice and neatly into the existing timelines. OoT Ganondorf remains the first Ganondorf with the Ganondorf Rauru bound being either his reincarnation, or simply another Gerudo male chosen to bare Demise’s hatred (for all we know their single male every century is ALWAYS named Ganondorf). Calamity Ganon would then be Demise’s curse separate from Ganondorf’s body trying to take form again as its host has been bound for so long.

It reconciles the monsters and the blood moon being a thing in this world in Rauru’s time, during the calamities, and in the present, but never between those points. Monsters didn’t work that way before because they were a creation of a Ganondorf who came after any prior point in time.

Hell, it could even, if they so chose, be used to justify the timelines coming together and everything from every game being true. Whatever disaster ended Old and Middle Hyrule happened across the timelines and collapsed them into one. The evil was defeated, but the damage was done. The survivors carried with them bits of three different histories that all contradicted one another but were all real and passed them down. Hyrule, the kingdom, was gone, but the peoples still called themselves Hyrulean. 

Anyways, just doing some musing on what I think would be the best direction to take with this. 

[inconveniently-discorporated]

Everything is meant... Or is it?

First I would like to preface this by saying that I'm splitting this off because I've been kicking it around as its own thing, but was inspired to actually post it based on the meta @ineffablebookgirl did and the thoughts from @skeetlebeetle on the paintball scene.

So, is everything meant?

This is a question I've thought about a lot with all the meta I've consumed and posted. There are a lot of analyses that go on based on tiny details, micro expressions, so on and so forth. There are different interpretations one could make about different scenes and different characters. Throughout this I've asked myself: does it really count if the author/creator didn't intend for it to be this way?

It doesn't help that Neil Gaiman is a lot like the God he and Terry Pratchett wrote:

“Are you saying,” said Crowley, “that He planned it this way all along? From the very beginning?”

Aziraphale conscientiously wiped the top of the bottle and passed it back.

“Could have,” he said. “Could have. One could always ask Him, I suppose.”

“From what I remember,” replied Crowley, thoughtfully, “—and we were never actually on what you might call speaking terms—He wasn’t exactly one for a straight answer. In fact, in fact, He’d never answer at all. He’d just smile, as if He knew something that you didn’t.”

“And of course that’s true,” said the angel. “Otherwise, what’d be the point?”

There are times where Neil will clarify something, or confirm or deny something, but mostly I've seen him take the stance of, "Isn't that the beauty of art? Everyone can interpret things in different ways."

He doesn't clamor to correct people on their interpretation of his work, and that's something I've found very admirable and will certainly be taking with me as I put my work out in the world. It allows us, the fans of this media, to enjoy it to the fullest extent. It lets us take from it what we need, and that's truly a beautiful thing.

"Yes, but, how could it mean anything if that's not what was meant when it was written? How do we know we've gotten it right?" -- does that sound familiar? Because that reminds me of a certain angel who has spent the better part of six thousand years collecting Bibles and books of prophecy and everything else, seemingly in search of The Answer. In search of what it all means, in spite of its ineffability.

And as we can see throughout the story, the common thread seems to be: it doesn't matter what it means, it doesn't matter what it's meant to be. We can take from it what we wish, and our choices are our own, and our own choices are the ones that really matter. That's part of the beauty of being human.

Really, the conclusion I've come to, is that I suppose I don't mind if things were meant, or if they were beautiful moments of accidental serendipity.

It's truly admirable when an author can tie together all of these amazing details, on purpose. However, as I've discovered through my OWN writing, it's sometimes even more amazing when these details fall perfectly into place, all on their own. Those are the moments I sit back, look at what I've written, and go, "Holy shit, that is AWESOME!"

It's just like life, and it's just like Good Omens -- maybe it's written, maybe it's not. You don't need to see the story for it to happen, you don't need to be told what decision to make in order to be happy with it. That's why Anathema burned the second book at the end. To hell with the answers or what is meant, she can create her own answers and find her own meaning.

I feel like it can seem less impressive if something happens by accident rather than the author intending for it to happen. I would actually propose that it is MORE impressive.

What is the difference between intelligence and artificial intelligence? Sentient and non-sentient? The non-sentient AI does what we tell it to do. Sentience is when it takes on a life of its own. In that way, by facilitating these accidental moments of poetic meaning, I feel like the creator has imparted into their work a little bit of the magic that makes us who we are. They've harnessed the spirit of life well enough that it got away from them through their work, and created something utterly lifelike.

I've thought about this particularly when it comes to people speculating about neurodivergency. People recognize a lot of ADHD traits in Crowley, and a lot of autistic traits in Aziraphale. I'm actually not sure if Neil and Terry intended that (Neil has responded to the question in a similar way as sexuality, in that he acknowledged they behave like neurodivergent humans in some ways, but they're not human, so he wouldn't call them that -- but I haven't seen a yes/no on whether it was intended).

Regardless, even if it's not, I find that incredibly impressive. It means the creator has done a good enough job of creating a whole character that they can consistently embody this aspect of human psychology, without it being seen as pandering or like the author took a neurodivergent checklist and tried to cram it all in there. It's quite an impressive feat, considering the human brain is, well --

I suppose the point of all this is, life is utterly beautiful and so is art, especially when art mimicks life, and especially when it does so by accident. I love seeing all the meta going around, and I love when creators are able to let this sort of stuff just be. It's my favorite part of this fandom in particular, because I've been scared out of a lot of other ones because I enjoyed it the "wrong way", according to the fandom's interpretation or the creator's own rigidity.

I think the other point is that we all have the power of this kind of creation, especially if we take a page from Crowley's book. We can wall our characters and plotlines in the Garden of Eden where everything is meticulously perfect, but if we let them eat the apple and grant these things the freedom to take on a life of their own, even if it seems disastrous at first, our creations could go on to create things we never saw coming. If we let ourselves explore our stories freely, and we let our audience explore freely, we can see our own creations transform into wonderful things we never imagined.

And then, maybe, one day, you can reflect on this when someone asks you, "Did you mean for this to happen?"

Then, once you're done autographing their treasured copy of your book that they've dropped in the tub at least once and taped together with yellow tape, you can just sort of look at them and smile, as if you know something they don't.

[bethanydelleman]

Mary and Henry Crawford’s Flawed Moral Codes

I believe that in general, people who do bad things justify it to themselves and find a way to feel like what they are doing is normal. People don’t want to be evil, they want to convince themselves that they are good/normal. An Austen villain like Wickham’s moral code is probably pretty simple, something like, “I deserve it so I should have it.” But with the Crawfords it’s far more complex, which is part of the reason why they are such interesting characters and why I get so angry when people think Henry is just a cheating cheater who cheats (his flaw is vanity not lust!).

As a preface, I am not excusing Henry or Mary’s behaviour, I am trying to understand the psychology of their characters.

For background, Henry and Mary are orphans who have been raised in a fairly broken home. Admiral Crawford and his wife hate each other and it seems fair to suppose by Admiral Crawford’s actions after his wife’s death, that he probably had a mistress/affairs and wasn’t even kind enough to be discreet. Mrs. Crawford, according to Mary, was miserable. The Crawford’s upbringing and the fact that they have mostly lived in London, are important to their characters according to the narrator.

Both siblings don’t seem to really think that love exists, which is the basis for their behaviour. 

Mary is mercenary, she plans to marry high and she knows that she can with her beauty, education, and wealth. This is because she thinks love is either fake or fleeting, so you might as well just take the most wealth and put your faith in that instead. She tries for Tom first, but when she fails, she finds herself falling for Edmund. Mary finds a charm “in his sincerity, his steadiness, his integrity”. She spends the rest of the novel struggling against her inclinations (marry for wealth) and her growing understanding that Edmund is actually a good person and she would be happy married to him, wealth or not. This is because she knows Edmund would never do to his wife what Admiral Crawford did to her aunt. But as she can’t totally abandon her ideas of what her life should have been, she pushes him to change professions and conform to her idea of happiness.

Mary actually does give in and decide to marry Edmund, but he doesn’t propose before Tom gets sick and Henry and Maria elope. After that, their marriage is impossible. It does seem like Mary learns something from the experience, and determines not to marry until she finds a man as upright as Edmund. But she also wants a first son, so the lesson is only half learned.

As for Henry, we can assume from the other novels, and from Mary’s account of her friends, Mrs. Fraser and Lady Stornaway, that he’s been surrounded by mercenary fortune hunters for most of his life. He has watched women pretend to be in love with wealthy men just to marry them, which we see in P&P with Caroline Bingley. But he also isn’t handsome and he knows it, which may increase his perception that women are only interested because he’s rich. He likely sees his flirtations as fair game, if women use love as a weapon why can’t he make it a toy? We also know he doesn’t believe that he does lasting damage, he thinks Maria’s feelings should already be gone.

I can kind of see his point. Maria is engaged to a man she doesn’t even like. She hates Rushworth, but she goes through with it because he’s rich. It sounds like Mary’s friends have done the same thing, and that was what Mary was also planning to do. It makes sense that these women’s “love” would be fleeting because it is manufactured. Also, unlike some other Jane Austen characters, we have no evidence that Henry would actually sleep with/ruin an unmarried woman. He flirts with Maria because she is sexually unavailable, not in spite of it. He did take advantage of the play, but I really feel the Bertrams were never in real danger physically. As Mary said, they just were in danger of having their hearts broke. This is also probably part of Henry’s justification of himself and why he thinks he isn’t doing real or lasting damage.

All of this also explains why Mary defends Fanny from Henry but also gives in pretty easily. Mary knows that Fanny isn’t the sort of girl to pretend to be in love, she doesn’t “deserve” to be tricked. But, since neither of the Crawfords believe love is real or that flirtation does lasting damage, Mary is soon convinced that a little attention may do Fanny good. I think Henry is sincere when he regrets toying with Fanny later, because she is a type of woman he didn’t believe existed, one who isn’t in love with money and who has moral integrity.

Again, this is why Mansfield Park is a tragedy, because it’s just sad that Henry and Mary are this cynical. It’s sad that Mary is in love, but wishes that Tom will die because of her conviction that money (not a person who would never hurt her) is the best recipe for happiness. It’s sad that one of Henry’s many reasons for wanting to marry Fanny is that he could actually trust her. Has he really met so few people in his life that he finds worthy of trust?

Lastly, because I must address it at some point, would Henry have cheated on Fanny? I think it’s a complex question. Henry does not want to marry, probably because it would make flirting much harder (he calls marriage, “Heaven’s last best gift“ implying it will ruin all his fun). Maria thinks Henry will propose, which he literally can’t do once he’s married to Fanny. So what did he think marriage would look like? He might have carried on with his emotional affairs and just switched to married women. He might have a mistress or something like that (especially since sex and faithfulness are separate in his mind). However, he also has a saviour attitude towards Fanny. He wants to see her happy. I don’t think he’d openly do something to make her miserable and his flirting thing would make Fanny miserable.

I think Henry would probably find another outlet for his charming vanity game, such as going into politics. And yes, that is slightly terrifying given his morality, but remember that in Jane Austen’s world, both John Willoughby and Sir Walter Elliot have seats in parliament. JA’s England is already screwed.

To summarize, Henry doesn’t think he’s a bad person for flirting because love isn’t real and the women he messes with deserve it. Mary thinks men will treat her poorly no matter what, so she might as well be rich. Their worldviews and moral codes reflect their fake and cruel upbringing and the people they have associated with until coming to Mansfield.

[undead-moth]

Ok so I’ll preface this with saying I’m not fighting with you, just elaborating on my thoughts. I’m not trying to put your tags on blast either. Sorry if I come off as argumentative.

I know there are arguably in-universe reasons Marcus got it and she didn’t. I’ve seen other people point out how much creative control and freedom Marcus was given, and this season he was even handed Luca, basically on demand, just because he asked. I was mainly considering out-of-universe reasons the writers gave it to Marcus and not Sydney.

It isn’t fair to say Carmy never collaborated with Sydney. In season 3 Carmy didn’t, but in season 3 that was kind of a major theme, and he didn’t collaborate with anyone else either. He wasn’t the best to Marcus in season 3 either.

Carmen hasn’t, apart from season 3, held back Sydney either. It isn’t fair at all to say she hasn’t learned anything from him. When she first got hired, her dishes weren’t ready. She was “green.” That’s why they weren’t being put on the menu, and Carmy is the reason, at least in part, that she has improved. He is the one who was able to tell her that her dishes weren’t ready, and why, and prior to season 3, he was encouraging to her.

I know he wasn’t always the nicest about it but between the business they’re in and just like, the reality of teaching someone a prestigious skill, you have to be honest and firm with them. Sydney needed the honesty and firmness of Carmy’s season 1 criticism. By season 2, she’d already improved, and we still saw Carmy advising her on how to do even better.

And we might not like to admit it, but Sydney is working at the level she is because she got hired by Carmy. He didn’t have to choose her as a CDC. He didn’t have to choose her as a partner. He didn’t have to leave The Bear to her. If she had not decided to apply at The Beef, she wouldn’t have any of that right now. It is because of Carmy she has been given the opportunities she’s had.

I agree that the writers make Sydney’s story revolve around Carmy too much. I wouldn’t say the opposite doesn’t apply to Carmy at all, but it’s certainly not as blatant or as much.

But the thing about that is, I don’t see that as a conscious choice the writers are making. I don’t believe they are purposely giving Sydney differential treatment. I don’t believe they would agree they’re doing that. I don’t even believe they’re purposely making a point about Marcus having more control and freedom and encouragement with his desserts. I think they’re just being racist and misogynistic to Sydney’s character and that’s kind of the very reason I don’t think that’s why they gave Marcus the award. Since they aren’t purposely making this part of Syd’s story, they aren’t making that kind of decision consciously for that reason.

Personally, I think the reason they gave it to Marcus is so that it can be used to get in Sydney’s head next season. She’s afraid of failure. She wanted to be like Carmy. Now Marcus got the same award Carmy did. It’s going to be used to make her feel inferior and doubt herself. At least, that’s my prediction.

But that bores me. It bores me because if they do it, it’s predictable, but also because I’m sick of Sydney getting secondhand treatment from the writers. It also bores me because I’m over it. We’ve done the whole ‘Sydney is afraid of failure’ thing for a while now and I’m ready for something new. Im guessing most Sydney fans are too.

That’s why even though I knew the writers had a reason - regardless of if my reason is right, or your reason, or anyone else’s proposed reason - they gave it to Marcus instead of her, I still would have preferred they gave it to Sydney and went that direction instead. In fact the entire direction season 4 went, however good or bad it arguably was, is just a different direction than I would have preferred.

I don’t know if any of that makes sense. I don’t entirely disagree with you. Me wishing Sydney got the award isn’t just about thinking giving it to Marcus didn’t make as much sense narratively, I guess. I just want the story that would have given it to Sydney more.

This isn’t like a fully formed argument I guess but I feel like Sydney should have been the one to win Best New Chef.

Not because Marcus didn’t deserve it, or anything. It’s made obvious in this season that he did earn it. But just like Marcus, Sydney had two dishes that Carmy immediately put on the menu, and she was the one who could make the pasta in under three minutes. We were shown that Sydney very obviously deserved it too.

And granted, based on the fact that the camera immediately panned to Sydney when Sugar announced someone won Best New Chef, we were clearly supposed to assume it was her. I’m sure there’s a reason why they (the writers) decided to give it to Marcus and not Sydney. It possibly relates to Sydney’s biggest fear being failure and her desire to be great like Carmy and I’m guessing that fear and desire is going to continue to contribute to her character arc in season 5 and that’s probably why they couldn’t give it to her.

But I just feel like. If you’re going to, throughout the entire show, purposely draw parallels between Sydney and Carmy, end then in this season have it end with Carmy telling Syd she’s The Bear, narratively speaking it just makes more sense for her to win it? It would have been proof he’s right, ya know? And it would have tied in so well to her story, firstly because of the parallels created between them, but also because she started at The Beef to work under Carmy. We see in season 1 him telling her that her dishes aren’t ready. In season 2, she’s improving but still not there. In season 3, she grows a lot but Carmy is too wrapped up in his own inadequacy to care or notice. This season, she proves how much she’s grown to him and could have had it made narratively clear further by making her Best New Chef.

It would have been so satisfying, and would have made so much sense and the writers clearly knew this.

I’m reserving judgment on this choice until I see in season 5 where it goes but man, as of right now I’m just like. Can Syd ever get the credit she deserves?

[k-odyssey]

A Business Proposal | ep7

I just watched ep7 of A Business Proposal and I want to write my thoughts now, while I'm still in that happy bubble, cause I've learned from experience that if I wait I won't find the same energy and enthusiasm later.

Let me preface this by saying that the most common kdrama watching experience for me is first being super into it, loving the concept/all of the possibilities, and then getting a bit disappointed by the execution from ep10 or so. This is not how I've felt about A Business Proposal. I feel like it's getting better as we go! It helps that this is a 12ep drama. There's no time for filler in a shorter show.

But it's just such a fun, comforting, happy drama! This is achieved through a clever use of romantic tropes, and great friendships, and just good writing.

Tae Mu should be a walking cliché (he's that insanely rich chaebol whose family wants him to settle down with someone from their social circle, obviously handsome and smart, with some rain-related childhood trauma, who falls for his employee) and yet he's ... not? Like, he feels like more than the sum of his parts, if that makes sense.

In the same way that Ha Ri isn't a helpless heroine who needs saving. (Well, occasionally she needs someone to salvage her reputation.) She's good at her job, demonstrably so. Intellectually, they're definitely equals. She also has family and friends, she's loved, and she's not in a particularly vulnerable situation. So it doesn't feel like he has the upper hand all the time, and that's refreshing for this type of drama.

Usually a character telling another they won't stop pursuing them after getting rejected would be a red flag for me tbh. But idk it doesn't feel too bad when Tae Mu says it somehow, because it's pretty obvious that a lack of feelings on Ha Ri's part isn't the problem, what she's afraid of is being treated differently once they become a couple. So it feels more like an affirmation that he's sincere and that he'll make sure they can be together/protect her, rather than pushing his feelings on her.

Also I'm really glad that she kisses him!! Which is what happened with the other couple too!!! The writers were like, let's have women take the initiative and I can only say thank you.

Anyway, is fishing supposed to be cool? Is this a class/cultural thing? I laughed hard at their silly competition. In my mind, fishing isn't something that'd look cool, but I guess doing it on a yacht, looking as they do, as a contest in stereotypical masculinity.... I appreciated Tae Mu's apology and admission that jealousy clouded his judgment.

The chef is looking worse and worse as a person. He's been enjoying the fact that he was Ha Ri's one and only all this time, while never considering dating her. It's like he doesn't want her, but he doesn't want someone else to have her. Boy, she's not yours, and she can date whoever she likes!

We've been blessed with great best friends. Young Seo is so entertaining and charming and great. And somehow relatable at times, even tho she's like,,, also insanely rich. Sung Hoon is... well, he's definitely here for the visuals and I can't blame the people who cast Kim Min Kyu, but he's also very funny and keeps Tae Mu in check!! These two (YS and SH) are the same type of die-hard romantic who fall in love at first sight and also just sleep together on the day they admit their feelings?? And it works.

[187days]

Day One Hundred Thirty-Seven

It’s supposedly going to start snowing in a couple hours, and even the born-and-raised north country kids I teach just want it to warm up already and stop doing that. The spring athletes are especially frustrated. No one’s on the fields, we’re barely on the track (my sprinters did 150m repeats today in the cold), I get it. So I’m crossing my fingers that it’s just rain, not snow, but the forecast isn’t looking good.

Aside from grumblings about the weather, though, the only other issue I had today was a minor incident Block 2. There are two boys who constantly play-fight (despite having been asked to stop), and today one hit the other harder than he meant to, the other swore at the top of his lungs, I sent them both to the office to talk to Dean 1. They came back about twenty minutes later and apologized, and we moved on. Five minutes later, we’re cracking jokes and doing work, it’s all good.

The assignment today was an information hunt- so it doubled as citation practice- about the US government. I prefaced it with a quick lecture through the history that led up to the drafting of the Constitution, and explained that the information they’re supposed to find addressed the challenges the country was facing at the time of its drafting, as well as future challenges. We’ll go over the answers tomorrow, then talk more about other democratic republics in the world, and how they differ from ours.

Oh, and during my Block 3 class I gave into the online chess craze. Two of my students finished the assignment with about fifteen minutes to spare, and they were playing against each other, so I said I wanted to play the winner. I wasn’t actually sure I could win- I’m a decent player, but it’s been a while- and it was a close match, but I pulled it off. 

Instant cred for me. 

Heh.

Block 4, my APGOV students and I started class by discussing the former president’s arraignment, then shifted to discussing the state of civil rights in this country. There was a tangent, too, about divisive concepts laws. I showed them the one on the books in our state, and an addition that was proposed last year but didn’t pass (and they remarked that, had it passed, I’d have broken the law repeatedly). Lastly, we did a bit of test review, since there’s a full-sized practice exam in their immediate futures: MCQs tomorrow, FRQs on Friday. 

Amusing: I post a review outline at the start of each unit, with any new concepts highlighted and bolded, and during test review I tell them they can ask me anything about it. Today they realized that, despite the fact that there are obviously more concepts on each test, the review sheet has never been more than a page with two columns of information, and it doesn’t seem like I’m changing the font.

I am, of course, but only slightly, and obviously I didn’t admit to that. Instead, I told them that I’m a wizard.

Which is also accurate.

[juniorgman187]

Be Forever Young (Reid Fluff Fic)

Summary: After Penelope’s resignation from the BAU, she attempts to set up her tech protégé, Reader, with Reader’s intellectual match yet much older counterpart - Dr. Spencer Reid. 

A/N: The POV switches between Reader and Spencer, just use context clues to detect who the narrator is.  Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Content Warning: 21 year age gap, headcannon proposal Playlist: Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny Word Count: 6.1k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Prologue

Events like these weren’t exceedingly rare. They weren’t anything like Halley’s Comet, by any means, where it only happens once in your lifetime - if you’re lucky. But they weren’t exactly sunrises - something that you can count on occurring every day without fail. 

The best celestial phenomenon I could compare it to are blue moons. Rare enough to still have an element of surprise when they came, but not so rare that I should never expect them. 

These ‘blue moons’ are actually the events in which I meet an intellectual match. 

It’s not too often that I find a mind quite like mine, so you’ll forgive me for the reaction it elicits to watch them transcend the physical level and connect with me on the psychological one. There’s only been a handful of people who’ve ever had the exact standard of aptitude to be permissible into this metaphysical world with me, but now - there’s a handful and one. 

The newest addition to the list is her. 

_ _ _

Getting a word in edgewise when it comes to a conversation with Penelope Garcia is nearly impossible. Getting a word in edgewise when it comes to a conversation with Penelope Garcia about Dr. Spencer Reid is impossible. 

I couldn’t tell you when the first time she brought him up was, but I could probably tell you just how many times since then she’s mentioned him. 

A trillion. At least. 

For months on end, he was the only thing she would talk to me about. Morning, noon, and night. Every single day she’d gush about him with the same unrelenting zeal as she had the day before and the day before that. It was both scary and impressive how she never seemed to run out of good things to say about him. 

“You would just die for his apartment. It’s got this super chic dark academia thingy going on. You’d be really into that,” she would say. Or something to that effect. I was never really listening. 

Not that I wasn’t interested in learning about Dr. Reid - I was very interested in him.

As a superior. 

I first learned of him when he taught my Psych 101 class. Freshman year me was simply enthralled with him as a speaker, probably due to the charm of his awkward humor. I found it eerily relatable and touching, in a way. That was probably my favorite class, minus the assholes who made it less than enjoyable at times. (That’s a story for later).

The next interaction I had with him happened not even a year later when he came back after temporarily teaching to sit in on a philosophy class. Even though he was only auditing the lecture, whereas I was enrolled in the course, he ended up sitting in the seat right beside me. Had he not been gifted with an eidetic memory - a fact I found out during one of my obsessive research sessions - I doubt he would’ve even remembered sitting next to me.

Our shared field of work helped to bring us back together repeatedly throughout college. I would run into him at seminars, workshops, once even at a library where we were both looking for the same book. 

But for the most part, our relationship was parasocial. It largely consisted of me learning from him at a distance. I would use his brilliant research to support my own assignments, read the books he recommended, audit the classes he would teach. 

Rather than accurately interpreting my very limited, very professional connection to Dr. Reid, Penelope was deliberately using it as ammunition for her arsenal of reasons why I should consider dating him. 

“You guys are basically already friends, and nothing is cuter than the friends-to-lovers trope!” Now that she actually did say, and the only reason I remember it verbatim was it was so outrageous I couldn’t not remember it. 

And probably because she just said it to me right now. 

“We’re not friends! We’re ... acquaintances. Colleagues, if you will.” My attempts to gain distance from Penelope and this topic of conversation were crashing and burning. The more I tried to walk away from her, the faster she would chase me. It was inconceivable how she managed to do that and continue to pelt me with her perky persistence. 

“Even better! You know I’m no stranger to workplace romances.”

That I did. One Derek Morgan or one Luke Alvez ring a bell?

“Dr. Reid and I don’t work together,” I reminded her, if only to burst her bubble of insanity. 

“Exactly my point! If you two don’t work together, then there’s nothing keeping you apart.” 

I was stopped dead in my tracks, almost causing Penelope to trip since she was right on my heels. 

“Nothing? Really? Try 21 years.” 

That surely kept us apart. 

Our age gap was one of those glaring disparities Penelope couldn’t wave away with her magic wand. Frankly, it wasn’t an age gap so much as it was an age Grand Canyon. He was a whole person of legal drinking age older than me!

Hell - our age gap itself was older than me!

Maybe there weren’t any contracts or agreements or supervisors to keep us apart, but there was still one significant thing doing that. 

Time. Arguably the most important thing you needed to get right for a relationship to work. 

If there were any chance that he and I were good together, that was squandered by our divergence in age. 

Right person, wrong time ... but wrong time by more than two decades.

I could see the smallest fragment of hope wither away in Garcia’s eyes, and it actually hurt to have known that I caused that. Her voice was more solemn when she said, “You don’t have to date him, I just want you to go on a date. Get to know each other better. Who knows? You might finally graduate from colleagues to BFF’s.” 

Not that I was seriously considering the possibility of growing closer to Dr. Reid, but there was one question lingering in my mind.

“Does he even want to go on this date? Have you asked him how he feels about it?” 

Part of why I was wondering was on the off chance that she’d tell me he had the same objections towards this that I did, which would be good news for me since it would mark my reluctance as a sound judgment. If there was anyone whose opinion was worth something, it was his, right? After all, he was the provable genius in the same compromising position as me. 

“Trust me, he’s been dying to do this.” In spite of her preface to trust her, I didn’t. I couldn’t be sure if she was suggesting that he’d been dying to go on a date with me or if he’d been dying to go on a date in general.

No offense to him, but I guessed it was the latter, and if that was the case, he was only being a team player because she hadn’t told him it was me she was setting him up with. Already suspecting that I’d probe further to navigate through her vagueness, she cut in with one last Hail Mary. “One date! That’s all!”

Whether you believe me or not, 100% the only reason why I said what I said next was to put an end to this madness. “Fine. I’ll go.”

Maybe 99.99%.

_ _ _

I never knew how I could lose so much time. Sure, if anyone asked, I could probably account for everything I’d done in my day, second by second. But still, there was this cloudiness, a fog, inhabiting my brain, casting this haze on whatever else dwelled in my mind, too. 

I couldn’t focus on anything for more than 4 seconds at a time, and while that wasn’t incredibly concerning for the average human, it was disconcerting for me. 

What was going on? 

What is going on?

“What’s going on?” 

Suddenly, a hand began to wave in front of my face. “Yoo-hoo? Anybody in there?” JJ wondered aloud, causing me to realize it was her voice that asked the question from before. 

“Yeah, sorry,” I shook my head to regain some clarity, but that did me no good. My foggy brain still remained. It goes without saying my words were worth nothing as well. JJ saw right through me in a way that never failed to scare me shitless. I could never conjure up a lie good enough to follow that look she’d give me. So I settled for the truth. The question that cast the haziness in my brain to begin with. 

“What do you think about me dating again?” 

If I thought that first look was bad, then the one she was giving me now was something of a nightmare. At least with the first, I knew what she was thinking. With this one, I hadn’t a clue. 

To relieve us from some of the insufferable silence, I found myself speaking again in my defense. “Garcia mentioned something earlier about setting me up with someone and it got me thinking.”

Thinking about Max that is. 

Being my most recent girlfriend, it made sense why she was freshest in my mind. That being said, we’ve been broken up for 14 months, which in any other context would seem like more than enough time to start dating again, but therein lies the catch. 

We didn’t just break up. She said “no” when I asked her to marry me, which, if you ask me, is one hell of a way to break up.

So from that perspective, it obviously begs the question: is 14 months too fast to move on from something like that? 

JJ sharply inhaled. “Well, are you ready to start dating again?”

I still didn’t have an answer for that myself. “I don’t know. There isn’t exactly a rulebook on how long you have to wait until it’s socially acceptable-”

“Lemme stop you right there, Spence,” She placed her hand on top of mine. “You can’t just do whatever statistics or studies or science say is right all the time. You not only need to be more in tune with your own needs but accepting of them, too. Screw what anyone else has to say about you dating again - including Socrates, including Einstein, including Aristotle ... including me. Do whatever you think is acceptable by your standards - not society’s. Do what you wanna do and I’ll support that.”

There was something special about having JJ’s approval. It was like getting permission to be excited, something I didn’t know I needed or wanted. 

“I’m ready.”

Born ready, as Penelope herself would say.

_ _ _

I was starting to get suspicious that maybe I had an invisible string attached to me and on the other end of that string was Penelope. It was the only explanation as to how she managed to trail behind me at an isochronal pace. Perfectly equidistant, perfectly equal intervals of time. Must’ve been some form of magic that she was able to synchronize that connection for as long as she did as we pranced around the office, basically chasing me.

“Okay, I know the date isn’t until Saturday, but I really think we need to amp up your wardrobe choices ... like stat.”

Hearing that I was seeing my superior still didn’t settle well with me. I don’t think I could ever get used to the thought. 

I should’ve been offended at her suggestion to change my clothing taste as it implied my stylistic choices weren’t up to par, but a part of me, a very small part of me, knew she was right. And just because I wasn’t keen on the idea of going on a date with Spencer didn’t mean I didn’t want to look nice for him for it.

“I’m assuming you’ve got some ideas in mind,” I said in a teasing voice, knowing that’s precisely why she brought it up.

“See! You are a genius! Exactly why you and Spencer are meant to be together!” Her exclamation was just as loud as it was outlandish. 

“Alright, calm down sparky,” I shot a warning look. “It’s just one date - we’re not soulmates.” 

Then, talking in the quietest voice I didn’t think Penelope was capable of speaking with, she said, “Not yet.” 

I knew the minute I showed even the littlest bit of interest in Penelope’s fashion guidance, I’d end up draped in ruffles, sequins, glitter, tulle, rhinestones, or all of the above. Nothing again Penelope’s personal style - it’s just not mine. 

I was scared to ask, but I had to know. “So what were you thinking?” 

Before my very eyes, Penelope’s constantly-there smile transformed, something akin to the mischievous grin of the Cheshire Cat. “I was thinking …” 

In a Mary Poppins-esque fashion, Penelope produced a dress that in no feasible reality should have been able to fit within that little Hello Kitty side bag. 

I suppose it must’ve been absolutely backbreaking for Penelope to refrain from choosing a multicolor or at least pattern-riddled dress, so as compensation for the fact that it was only one singular color throughout, it had to be a bold one. 

Red. 

“Not too shabby, right?” Her eyebrows jumped on her forehead, knowing she’d made a good choice. 

And a part of me actually died saying this, but it was pretty perfect. 

_ _ _ 

My life didn’t flash before my eyes, per se, the moment I finally arrived at the delicatessen. It was more like a very specific, singular memory had flashed before my eyes. 

That story for later? This is the one. 

Psych 101 was my best class in Freshman year ... by a long shot. Come rain, wind, or snow, I was always excited to go. It was a standout course on its own, but not because it was terribly spectacular or the most fascinating subject in the world, but more so because of how it changed my own person. It challenged me, like all worthwhile things do. 

There were more judgmental meatheads - boys, if you will - than not, who would jump down my throat for being a smart ass or a teacher’s pet if I so much as answered one of Dr. Reid’s questions. Par for the course, really. 

As a result, I had a proclivity to avoid raising my hand. It wasn’t that I was hyper-fixated on managing my reputation, just that participating wasn’t worth the eventual harassment from my dimwitted classmates. 

Nonetheless, one day, I felt compelled to answer Dr. Reid when he asked what our thoughts were about the sampled, pretense manifesto.

No one else was jumping at the chance to speak, perhaps they were just as cowardly as I was, and it was clear that he was going to stand there waiting until someone finally would. The silence was painfully awkward for everyone and so I felt obligated, as a student who was actually enrolled in the class for credit and not just to audit like 90% of the other girls here, to break it.

Slowly, ever so slowly, my hand hesitantly inched up into the air until it floated just high enough above the student in front of me’s head. As soon as I knew he saw it, I let it plunge straight back down. 

“Yes, Ms. (y/l/n)?”

I could already feel the dirty looks and snide comments coming before I even said a word. 

“I know we’re all collectively referring to this unsub as a man, and while that might just be a general assumption or Freudian slip perhaps ... I think the language is steeped in betrayal and contempt. And it would be ignorant not to notice how it reads more like the wrath of a woman scorned than your typical jilted male lover.” 

“Lover?” Someone two rows back snickered quietly, clearly to mock my choice of words. I didn’t even have to look to know it was Brad who had said that. Nevertheless, Dr. Reid was impressed with my answer. His lips curved into the faintest smile as he nodded his head. If he had heard the commentary of one Brad Sterling, he made no visceral reaction to it.

With an extended hand, palm facing up, he gestured for me to, “Please. Stand up.”

I fumbled my way up and out of my seat to possibly delay the shit I’d get for this mere action.

“That, ladies and gentleman, is what it looks like to have courage,” He underlined his words with a grand flourish of his hand in my direction. “Putting yourself on the line even in the event you’ll be mocked and ridiculed or deemed wrong. That’s something you’ll need if you are seriously considering being part of the BAU, or the FBI at any capacity.”

My face was flushed from the acclaim he was showering me with. Suddenly, I was glad I volunteered. 

Taking me completely by surprise, Dr. Reid wasn’t done yet.

“So, Mr. Sterling,” He began, directly calling out the boy in the back who without a doubt made the remark. I wouldn’t have had any reason to believe he heard it since his attention never diverted away from me long enough to catch the comment, much less the culprit. I wonder if he’d heard all the times Brad made jokes at my expense. Was he finally at his wits end with the sarcasm? “Make fun all you want, but might I suggest that if you like a girl, you do the opposite of that.” 

His sickly sweet drawl was followed by a short wink at me as if to say ‘I have your back’, and I was lucky to have already been in the process of sitting back down because my knees would’ve given out underneath me from the sheer exhilaration of his praise. 

The thought never once crossed my mind that Brad was so fixated on me because he had a crush, but it all made sense once it did. And if I didn’t know any better, Dr. Reid only humiliated him and brought it up because the realization dawned on him, too.

Was it possible that Dr. Reid was ... jealous?

In the spirit of complete transparency, that suspicion may have lit the tiniest wildfire imaginable in my chest. A wildfire that, even now, has yet to extinguish. Perhaps that little flame is the 0.01% of the reason I said yes. I could only imagine what kind of omnipotence it would soon gain if this date went well. 

If he could light such an enduring kindle with simple praise, think about what would happen if he smiled at me. If he laughed at my jokes. If he held my hand. 

If he kissed me.  

Dr. Reid’s validation would be something I actively sought from all walks of life, I knew that much. What I didn’t know was how far that desire would take me.

I would have never guessed it would lead me here. 

Standing in front of a fancy restaurant in a pretty red dress with the tenuous hope that the professor inside might just like it so much that he’ll end up liking the girl wearing it, too.

_ _ _ 

No matter how many times I adjusted the bouquet of poppies, they sat perpetually crooked on the table. Much like the dark gray tie around my neck that tightened around my throat with every passing second. I had to keep messing with it to loosen the noose-like grip it had on me. Who knew if it actually was becoming more restricting or it was the flourishing bundle of nerves in my stomach that made it harder to breathe. 

I was never very good at lying in wait patiently. Especially if I was expecting something. Now that I was expecting someone? I could say with perfect clarity - I was not good at waiting. 

I don’t wanna seem the way I do 

Every time the door opened, my eyes flashed to it instantaneously. And every time it wasn’t her, a little part of me was disappointed. It was still too early to say for certain that she was standing me up, but my mind was doing what it did best. It wandered. There was nothing else to do after all. 

Except maybe adjust those blood orange poppies one more time.

I’d picked them out specifically because Penelope slipped in a not-so-subtle comment about her dress being “a perfect match to the color of papaverales” - her words exactly. I thought if she went through that much trouble to find a color coordinated plant and say the scientific name for me to decode, it was worth picking up a bouquet of them on the way. 

It was only the most ironic occurrence in the world that when I went to rearrange them one last time, I devoted my full attention to the action, missing the very moment I was on the lookout for the past hour and a half. 

I didn’t even see her until the red poppies camouflaged into the identically colored setting of her dress. 

Then there she was.

All the disappointment in the world was worth that first time I saw her with fresh eyes. 

I was dumbstruck for a moment, long enough that it warranted an apology for not standing up sooner. 

“(Y/n)! Hi!” I accidentally squealed. I couldn’t control myself, let alone control the pitch of my voice apparently. 

I could see, in her, youthful naivete where, in others, I saw their age. She paradoxically had not aged a minute, and yet a new womanhood was piercing through her ultimately adolescent appearance. 

“Hi, Dr. Reid,” She said through a laugh and a smile, shaking my hand politely and professionally. She was greeting me like I was still her professor and she’d just happen to run into me on an errand. Next, she’d be attempting small-talk for as long as it took for me to let her go. 

Unfortunately for her, I had no plans for that. 

But I’m confident when I’m with you 

“Please, it’s just Spencer,” I reminded her, hoping to break down that governing image of me she surely maintained. 

“Spencer,” She tried again; doing it more to be obedient to my instruction than to satisfy her own desire. It sounded so unnatural to her, just as it did to me. I found it adorable, actually. It seemed like she was breaking this unspoken, and very much illusionary rule to say my first name. “It’s nice to see you again,” She added after I pulled out her chair for her.

“Is it?” I asked when I rounded the table to get to my seat. “I get the feeling you’re a little disappointed.” The only reason I pointed it out was that it was true, not just that I’d observed the notion grow more poignant in her face for the past minute.

“Not at all,” She shook her head, which luckily for me, drew a line of congruence between her body language and verbal language. At least, she was being truthful. “It’s just that I’m sort of embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?” I repeated in astonishment, unable to cultivate a list of reasons that would justify her feeling that way. I couldn’t think of a single thing I’d done to provoke that emotion, and it nearly broke me to consider her internal being substantiating it. 

“Embarrassed isn’t the right word, but I can’t find a more accurate one for what I’m feeling,” She shied away from my eyes when she lowered her head as she spoke. 

“You could try to explain it to me?” I offered gently. It took an overwhelming amount of self-restraint to not offer my hand with it. It would’ve been so easy to slide my hand across the threshold to enter her territory of the table, but who knows if doing so would just make her that much more uncomfortable. 

“Well for one thing, I don't really go on dates,” From this alone, I could already relate to her enough to laugh at the fact. “Don’t laugh at me! You know how dangerous first dates can be,” She swatted her hand in my direction to chastise me. 

“I do! I do! I think it’s really good that you’re protecting yourself to the point of avoiding dates,” I was teasing the implication that she wasn’t asked to go on very many, which was thankfully delivered well enough to make her laugh again. 

“Hey! Many people have wanted to go on dates with me, thank you very much. You included.” 

“Me included.” I nodded in approval. We sat in a short period of silence while we exchanged one soulful glance, borne from the insinuation of what I just said. 

“And for another ... I respect you too much as a figure of authority to see you in that way.” 

_ _ _ 

“In what way?” 

Rather than tossing me a lifeline, he was feeding me to the sharks. Forcing me to dive into the deep end. He wanted to see me struggle to stay afloat in the sea of his sticky toffee eyes. He knew I'd get suspended in them when he gave me that look. How much I’d be willing to get lost in them just so I could wander in the depths of his honeyed orbs for a little bit longer. 

That look ...

“You don’t find it weird?” This was the most honesty I could’ve demonstrated. 

“Find what weird?” For someone with such a high IQ, you’d think he’d be quicker on his feet. 

“This! You - me. On a date!” I gestured to the space between us. “You’re ... well frankly, Spencer, you’re old enough to be my father.” 

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” He genuinely cared about the answer.

“Only in theory. Not in actual life,” was the most precise response I could give.

“So what is making you uncomfortable?” Again, I could tell my answer mattered to him. 

“You were my professor once, and now I’m just supposed to go on a date with you and see you as my equal when I’ve spent the entire time I’ve known you, putting you on a pedestal? Do you know how much pressure that puts on me? To be perfect?”

“Who says you have to be perfect? Who says you’re aren’t already?” 

That one caught me off guard. I had to gulp down the lump of shock. 

“You think I’m perfect?” 

“That, or you’re pretty close to it.” 

Lately all I feel is bad and bruised

I could’ve smiled, I could’ve thanked him, I could’ve fallen at his feet and thrown my dignity down there along with it, but I just laughed. I laughed. 

“That’s ridiculous! You barely know me.” 

“You’re wrong,” He simply replied with a firm shake of his head and a cavalier sip at his drink. It showed just how confident he was in his answer. How cocky he was. 

“How am I wrong?” 

He cleared his throat as though he were preparing to deliver the world’s greatest speech. Then, he leaned forward, motioning with his fingers for me to do the same. 

“If I’m remembering correctly, which you know I am, you were the student who had the gall to raise your hand and correct me on my gender identification of the unsub, right?” 

The second the sentimental thought, ‘aww he remembered’, came into my head, it was soon followed by, of course, he did, idiot. Eidetic memory, remember?

Tired of tripping on my shoes

“What does that have to do with me being perfect? Or so you claim?”

He was piercing deep into my eyes now, his gaze overwhelming my senses and sending shockwaves akin to the feeling of butterflies everywhere … and I mean everywhere.

“Bravery is the audacity to be unhindered by failures, and to walk with freedom, strength, and hope, in the face of things unknown.” 

I recognized the quote as one of Morgan Harper Nichols, but the words went right to my chest like they were his own. 

That damn wildfire just got a whole lot bigger. 

“I’ve always thought about how if I could be unfazed by failure or even just the prospect of it, if I could just be strong enough or have enough hope to face what I couldn’t predict, I’d be set. I’d be golden,” He paused. “I’d be perfect ... but you? You, little one, have already got that figured out. So whether that means you’re perfect on your own because of your bravery or you're a perfect match for someone fainthearted like me, is up for you to decide. Whichever interpretation of being perfect you choose would be correct, but you should know - I meant both either way.”

But when he loves me I feel like I’m floating

When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody

Even when we fade eventually to nothing

You will always be my favorite form of loving

“Do you want to get out of here?” He asked when he finally refound his voice. 

“Since the minute I walked in.” I replied after refinding mine. 

_ _ _ 

“You always take girls to your apartment on the first date, Doctor?” Asking this in the name of taking a jab at him was the most clever way I could think to conceal my underlying motive of trying to gauge how giddy I could let myself feel about the fact that he’d taken me to his ‘super chic dark academia’ themed residence - Penelope’s words, remember?

“Well, in my abundant dating history,” He sarcastically began, “I can’t say I ever have, no. You’d be the first.”

That shot another quick bolt of lightning to the wildfire in my heart that I’m ashamed to admit made the heat reinvigorate. The flame must’ve been too much for my chest to contain so it had to relocate to my face, where my cheeks were left to burn under his gaze and thanks to his admission. 

I was the first. 

He must’ve seen the glint localizing on my countenance and decided to speak on it. “Why does that amuse you?”

“I don’t know,” I dumbly but truthfully replied. He didn’t need any more information to get his answer, though. Because even if I didn’t know what amused me about being his first, I never denied that it did, and that was more than enough confirmation for him. 

“You promise to be here when I come back?” He wagged a cautionary finger at me like it might persuade me to stay and hold me accountable if I didn’t. 

Spencer needed to go into his room to collect an item that ‘shall not be named’ but was apparently essential for our super secret plans tonight (secret to even me) and he was leaving me in the living room while he did so. I guess being the initial girl he took home on a first date was okay, but being the initial girl he took into his bedroom on a first date was crossing a line. 

That was alright with me, though. I was in this for the long haul.

“I promise I pose no flight risk, Your Honor,” I taunted with a coy tone. “But I can’t promise I won’t snoop around some.” Hey, at least I was telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 

“Snoop around all you want,” He laughed ruefully, demonstrating an openness I quite envied and admired. “You’ll probably learn a lot about me that way. And you won’t even have to talk to me to do that!” I knew he was only saying that out of self-deprecating tendencies he harbored, but I couldn’t help feeling that a small part of him actually believed that I wasn’t interested in talking to him.

“Spencer, you know I do like talking to you right?” I caught him just before he ran into his room. Already halfway in the door, I could still catch the megawatt smile on his face. 

“So stay then,” His smile grew impossibly bigger. “We can talk all you want when I get back.” 

The door closed, and then suddenly reopened to let just his face through, a face that said, ‘Don’t go anywhere.’

After a few minutes of loudly sorting through his room, I heard the sanctimonious cry of victory. “Found it!” 

I could hear the little pad of his feet and he happily trotted out of the room. “Ta-da! My stargazing kit.” He said it as though he were introducing the basket he was holding to me, and me to it. Like it was a real person he wanted me to know. I almost felt obliged to say, ‘Hi stargazing kit! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m (y/n)!’

“Let’s go,” He smiled, reaching for my hand. 

I unabashedly took it, because although it meant that I was truly leaving his apartment, I had a very strong feeling that I would be back here again one day. 

_ _ _ 

We were lying there on this big quilted comforter that was stashed away in that stargazing kit of his, staring up at the sky, drunk on the sound of our occasional fits of laughter. 

“It’s Earth Day, you know that?” I wondered aloud in a state of complete euphoria.

“I actually did,” He said through a sheepish laugh, almost as if he was admitting the knowledge of it against his own will to protect my fragility. 

From out of nowhere, there was a small tug on the skirt of my dress. I looked down to find Spencer’s hand there, playing with the fabric until it lay perfectly on my leg. 

I coughed to possibly relieve the tension brewing in my loins. “So then you know the Lyrid meteor shower is tonight,” I moved the tiniest bit closer to lean into his touch.

“At exactly 4:33 a.m,” He moved too.

“Is that why you brought me here? To watch the shooting stars? To make a wish?” I thought for a second that I would appear exceedingly childish - more so than I already did being 21 years his junior. But he didn’t judge me at all for the kid-like notion of making a wish on a shooting star or the implication that I still believed in those things. 

In fact, I piqued his curiosity, telling by the way he moved only his head to the side to watch my reaction. “Say I did. What would you wish for?” 

In the throws of dreamy elation, I softly murmured the only honest answer. “To be older. But not the unfulfilling 9 to 5, loveless marriage, ‘I do my taxes for fun’ older. I want to be old in the ways that the stars and the sky are old. I want to be infinite.” 

“...To be infinite.” He whispered my wish back, sounding sort of in awe of me. 

Just then, the overhead horizon grew larger. With no buildings or people to block the view, it was just us, the stars, and the sky. I could actually feel that I was lying on a planet. It was so wide. So infinite. 

“Can I hold your hand?” I asked softly, in a manner so vulnerable it scared me.

Without any words or hesitation, he put my hand in his.

“The universe seems so big right now. I just needed something to hold onto.” I explained quietly, practically with the hopes that he wouldn’t hear me. But he heard.

“I’m here.”

We didn’t know what was ahead of us then. We were just two people, looking up at the sky on a cold February night. We weren’t divided by power, or age, or space. We were ourselves and no one else. 

My eyes fluttered shut again and a smile stretched across my face. “Stargazing was a good idea.”

The world and the sky and the stars and I - we were all infinite. I couldn’t have felt bigger in my own body. In the best way possible, I was taking up so much space. I was occupying the earth. I was made up of matter. I mattered. 

Just as I began to open my eyes, I caught a glimpse of a fading shooting star. Though I had wished to be older, I still felt like a child. Then it hit me. I didn’t feel older because I wasn’t older.

I was infinite. 

Yes, I was a child, but not in the pinch your cheeks, bottles and pacifiers, babyish way. I was a child in the ‘you have a life full of possibilities ahead of you’ way.

You are young. He tells me with his eyes. And that is a good thing. Be forever young. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

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[some-pers0n]

Alright: context. I'll leave out names and such. Strap in boys, girls, neithers, boths, and in-betweens. It's a bit of a doozy.

Around April of 2022, I was randomly DM'd by the one of the head moderators (or head animus) with a proposal for becoming a trial mod. I accepted.

Let me preface this by saying that picking the mods and such for this server is wacky and biased. They do not do applications, but rather DM people they believe to be sufficient enough. This could be people they've noticed are active, friendly, and, in my case, stick around to a couple channels. Most of the mods in the server will stick around the central chat channel, leading to an echo chamber and backlog of most mods being chat members who the past mods took a liking to and wanted to give mod perms to.

Because of this, a lot of the other channels weren't as moderated. I stuck around in the WoF channels, particularly the spoilers and discussion one. I'll call it just SAD. SAD is the most active WoF channel that isn't art related, with a bunch of people talking about stuff relating to the books. I'm buddy-buddy with a lot of the regulars there, and I don't really mingle with a lot of other people.

I am not familiar with people from #chat. A lot of the mods I've never even interacted with. In fact, the three other people who were put on as trial mods were #chat people.

I felt isolated and alienated in those mod chats. They had a more chaotic and xd random style of humour. Bunch of "kys" jokes and whatnot as well as generally being kind immature. I was used to the book club full of band and theater kid vibes in SAD than this. However, I'm a stubborn moron who knows when something is wrong.

Which was why I felt uncomfortable where people would use the mod channels to dunk on users. Several times I would check in and see that some of the people there would be bad-mouthing some members in #chat. Or they would be complaining about the users not respecting them.

TOP is no stranger to drama. Over the couple of years I've been in that server, I've seen a number of call-out docs and whatnot. One of them was being planned for months. One of the mods went into the server they were using to create the doc under an alt account. The doc was full of the same old stuff. Nothing new. In fact, it was one of the least interesting docs I've seen and had evidence that was incredibly old and not too great.

However, that's not the main issue. The mods were talking about rebooting the server. You read that right. They were going to shut down the server for months, basically leaving maybe one channel visible and only on read, until they could "put in the rules that people wanted" or "add channels people wanted". A server of 30k members suddenly shut down without any warning or notice. From June all the way until perhaps Christmas, the server would be pretty much closed. This would happen after the doc dropped too. That was the original plan.

...

What kind oF DEMENTED IDEA IS THAT??? HUH??? ARE YOU STUPUD?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN???

For starters, nobody already trusts the mod team. There has been a history of the mods going behind the server's back and doing stuff. THIS??? This is BEYOND anything before. To plot and plan this sort of thing without at all considering the server of 30k people is LUNACY.

Secondly, doing it after a call-out doc is a TERRIBLE IDEA. It makes people think that you're trying to hide evidence and cover it up like nothing happened, making the allegations (which are entirely true btw) even more apparent.

Thirdly, this is a server of 30k people. Sure maybe 4k are active and regularly come in, but there are a ton of people here. This is a space full of queer, neurodivergent teens. A lot of people in there feel as though this is their only real safespace where they can openly talk about their sexuality. Some people hinge a lot of their social life on chatting and talking with people. It sounds stupid, but imagine the pain somebody would feel when their only place to be themselves and talk to other people like them is taken away without warning. Their only place of comfort and joy.

Fourth, you can just implement the rules now??? Nothing is stopping you??? You don't have to literally shut down the server for months on end to add a goddamn writing channel??

Actually mindrotting plan and I am genuinely concerned as to why they ever thought this was anything more than a horrible plan.

I am not an argumentative person, especially when it comes to things like this. I like debating and arguing over silly things like characters and media and whatnot, but something like this?? WAYYY out of my comfort zone, even more so when it's against actual moderators and I'm a merely new mod. However, I knew this was a horrible idea. I knew that this was bad. There were literally no upsides to this.

So, I cracked. I went to a server with my SAD friends and told them. Obviously they reacted similarly, with saying how this was a awful idea and would just harm the community more. They gave me the encouragement and motivation to do what I do best: write an essay.

I wrote a two-thousand word essay that basically went: "Guys this is a terrible idea, please don't do this" and sent it to one of the other head mods. They read through and surprisingly enough agreed with me. The other mods talked about it, and eventually they decided to call it off.

Not without some hesitancy. It was mostly the careless mods who clearly didn't care about the community and wanted the power. "Who cares what they think!" "Imagine getting so tilted over a Discord server LMAO" Yes the person who most commonly said this was also the one who victim-blamed Peril.

All it took was one person pointing out the extremely apparent flaws to call off what is the worst idea I've ever seen.

I'm not a moderator anymore. I went on a road trip across my country and ended up at my grandparents house (which doesn't have wifi) and couldn't really do a lot of mod things. Eventually in like September or something I (and the other new mods) were temporarily demoted because of a lack of reporting (which is bullshit I worked my ass off and did more than some other mods). I decided to step down entirely, even telling them to take away the retired roll that mods get when they aren't one anymore. I wanted to return to just being a normal user.

I like being a normal user. The status of being a mod is nice, but not really one I wanted. I didn't really find the other mods too fun to be around and the general vibe was kinda hostile.

Yet, I can't help but wonder what's going on behind the scenes. I just hope they aren't doing anything stupid.

you modded the r/wof discord server..? a thousand blessings upon you. i cannot imagine what hell that must have been.

I actually was a moderator for the Talons of Peace Discord server for a short period. Lotta shit happened there. Honestly if it weren't for me stepping up and saying: "Hey maybe we shouldn't do this and this is a godawful idea" the server would be closed and I would have 500+ DMs of people telling me to kms

[sailorwritesstuff]

let's talk about Alma Madrigal. NOW.

warnings: spoilers duh, mentions of death, and emotional and verbal abuse, but also This is less of a polished essay and more of the ramblings of a madman. I most likely will rewrite this entire thing when I gather all my thoughts completely.

I like to preface this by saying I am going to attempt to be non-biased in the fact that I don't like her as a person and associate her with my own mother and say that I do enjoy her thoroughly as a character, who has depth and a reason behind her actions. However nothing that I say about her is meant to justify her actions. Even so INTENSE Alma Madrigal slander will not be tolerated.

that being said...

I enjoy her as a character I think it's interesting watching her interact with each of her family members and all the small details that go into her behaviors even as far as the photos on the wall.

I think it's very interesting her color palette that they chose for her because her main color being magenta (specific shade of magenta is #97253E If you were curious.) and her other surrounding colors being a darker magenta/purple and black. But first I want to talk about the light magenta and then talk about her black shawl. magenta is the color of universal harmony and emotional balance. Everything that she supposed to be for the family she's the holder of the candle, The matriarch, Her job is to make sure her family thrives and succeeds however after so many years of taking care of other people outside of her family she forgets that that's what her main focus should be. But her black shawl is important!! as you know Black is a grieving color (although it wasn't always that way and the black was actually often worn to weddings while white was a grieving color but that's a topic for another time)

in the film during the song dos orgaquitas Her husband dies She leads all these people to safety and then automatically she finds herself in her early twenties essentially a mayor to this town while taking care of three newborn triplets with no husband and no time to mourn. immediately after she settles down she puts on her black shawl and she puts on a fake smile and she walks in front of the people of her newfound Encanto.

her not being able to grieve plays a big part in the movie but I specifically want to talk about how it affects her relationship with Isabela.

Isabela is notably the more indigenous looking of The third generation. She looks almost identical to her grandmother and I some people have pointed out Isabela is her favorite. I think it's an interesting detail but in the background when Mirabel is staring at the photos of all of her cousins and her mama and her siblings getting their gifts. Alma and every picture has two hands on the candle except for in Isabela's picture where she has her hand placed firmly on her shoulder and she smiling proudly. and then with the wedding proposal as some people have already pointed out she specifically chose Mariano. SHE chose him. and he looks almost identical to Pedro (Her late husband if you missed it)

I think it's also important to understand that that's why Isabella's color palette is different from the rest of "the cool tone family" who's comprised mostly of deep blues and rich purples. It's lavender because it's a much closer color to magenta. (It's similar to Dolores who wishes to be more like Isabela who's the only one in the warm colored family to sport red)

All the pressure she's putting on Isabela isn't intentional it's her trying so hard for her firstborn grandchild her favorite grandchild to have the life that she never got to She's living vicariously through her because she looks like her It's her form of self-projecting and grieving Something she's been putting off for YEARS She's never properly grieved.

Which is why the scene with Mirabel by the river is so important. she's finally talking about it with someone.

by no means does hurt inability to properly grieve excuse her of the years of pressure she projects onto the rest of her family But what says the most is the fact that she didn't notice. A lot of people who do that project onto their family members or put so much pressure on them they notice the growing drift and the quiet voices whenever they enter the room. They will almost ALWAYS notice the fear of disappointing them and they either a.) Ignore it because they don't want to admit that they're in the wrong or B.) notice, and ignore it because they can't realize why their family is distancing themselves. But she doesn't notice until the event of the movie. Even when Bruno left because he was scared of how she would react to his bad vision.

All in all I think she was written well and she is much like a real person She's got flaws and she is not my favorite character by a long shot however she is very interesting and I feel like more people should look more into her character. However her ending did leave a lot to be desired It doesn't feel really like she grasped the entire concept of moving on and rebuilding their family. and I wish that her "apology" would have been more.

Her "apology" to Mirabel seems half-assed so much that some people didn't even realize she was apologizing.

and her "apology" to Bruno is almost non-existent because she isn't apologizing to just him for all the things that she put him specifically through she throws it out like a general apology to the entire family.

also A somehow unpopular opinion but besides Mirabel and Bruno. But Pepa, Isabela, and Luisa in that order deserve an apology the most.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

so there was this tiktok about the mcu movies and how many passed the bechdel test, and like none of them passed. anyway, I commented on how Alison Bechdel created the test not as a serious critique of whether a movie is objectively good or bad, but because she wanted to headcanon the characters as lesbians when she watched movies. and I commented this, told people to look up the original comic that was from "Dykes to Watch Out For", etc etc. and for some fucking reason, like fifty people got pissed at me a week after I posted that comment. "do you have a source for that" "that never happened, you're making that up" "stop lying, asshole" like holy shit, I was just commenting a fun fact. I literally prefaced my comment with "fun fact:". it's not a critique or attack on the guy's video. I linked the comic and her wiki page. I said, "here, look. Alison made the comic 'the rule' as a joke. because she's a comic artist. not a film critic."

and the weirdest thing is that the people yelling at me aren't mad for reasons I thought they would be. they aren't lesbians who are saying that I'm oversexualizing lesbians for having headcanons or something stupid. they aren't third wave feminists mad that the bechdel test isn't the be all end all on whether a movie is objectively good or bad. they aren't terfs saying that I'm appropriating lesbianism or whatever. no. they're just guys mad at me for, get this, not posting a peer reviewed source on a fun fact that doesn't affect their lives whatsoever in a 150 character comment.

holy shit, what do they want now? "the sky is blue. source: Wikipedia.com/sky". not every single thing needs a source. and what infuriates me is that I did give a source. if they bothered to read the replies, they'd see that I told them to look up the original comic, and see that it is a comic about two lesbians joking about watching movies, and not a proposal to the critic board for a new form of film critique.

look, I understand the importance of citing your sources, but it's only necessary either in essays and scientific papers and news articles, or when you're making a bold claim that has the potential to harm someone like saying that masks are fake or something. me commenting a fun fact like "a lesbian wrote a comic, and that is the origin of a thing" isn't a scientific study or an antivax conspiracy theory. it's just a fun fact. I'm just taking about a comic that I like, and that I wish more people would read.

people on tiktok are a different breed. they have no chill at all, and are so self centered that they think every single comment is a personal attack against them.