#hauntingthoughts

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[orbitingreality]

Drowning in Velvet

The darkness was soft. Too soft. Like a lullaby meant to put me to sleep— forever. And I almost said yes.

[spectrasgothiccinema]

"Is Margot Robbie a 10 for You?"

Beauty is a strange and haunting thing. It can captivate, inspire, or alienate—it is subjective as the "eye of the beholder," shaped by a society where we are marks, targeted by marketing firms that brand and rebrand our ideals. When I think of Margot Robbie, I don't see her as a mere number on some arbitrary scale. She is an embodiment of grace, talent, and charisma—a living reflection of what captivates the human spirit.

Margot's beauty transcends the physical. Yes, she has the symmetry and elegance that align with conventional standards—her upturned eyes and radiant smile, her grace both on and off the screen. But what draws me most is her ability to transform. Whether she’s Harley Quinn’s chaotic brilliance or Barbie’s poignant existentialism, her beauty lies in her ability to embody multitudes.

It’s not just skin-deep; it’s soul-deep.

And yet, the question remains—"Is she a 10?" What does that even mean? Reducing someone like Margot Robbie to a number feels shallow, a disservice to what she represents. To me, her beauty isn’t something that can be calculated by the golden ratio or framed by societal ideals. Her allure is an alchemy of talent, depth, and the ineffable quality of presence.

But there’s something else, something darker about this question. It says more about us than it does about her. Why do we feel compelled to quantify beauty? To rank, to dissect, to judge? The very act of assigning a number to someone’s appearance feels sterile, mechanical, and cold. As if beauty is a currency to be valued and exchanged.

Margot Robbie’s appeal isn’t just her face or her form—it’s her humanity, her artistry, and the way she commands a room without uttering a word. For me, that is far more interesting than any superficial assessment.

So, is she a "10"? She’s an infinity—a constellation of qualities that can’t be contained by numbers or words. Beauty isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, essence, and the way someone makes the world feel a little more alive.

That, to me, is more powerful than any scale could ever convey.

[iamforeverunclassified]

Letter to you, Beginning or Ending?

But first a quote...

“I have questions, I've got questions haunting me...

I have questions for you.”

-Camila Cabello

To you...

This is a letter in a way to tell you how I feel. It’s not to attack you. I’m writing all of this with no hatred, anger, aggravation, or any agenda. Just one human to another.

I love you. We have both changed since when we first got together. We’ve both went through phases and both of us had fucked up at different times. I feel we are at a pivoting point in our relationship. Maybe that’s supposed to happen, maybe it’s not...idk. But since we have both changed I guess the best thing is to really evaluate ourselves and the situation. What I mean by that is I need to see how I’ve changed and you’ve changed. You do the same. Think about the differences in the points of view that we each have. Are they all things that the other can deal with/ adapt to? Or are there things that we can’t deal with/ adapt to. What are those things? Are we both willing to put in the time and effort to make it work? Are we willing to do whatever it takes for each other and the relationship? We need to be completely honest with ourselves and each other. Not even as husband and wife but as two people trying to decide what to do now. Like is it something that we are just wasting each other’s time with? Do we both feel that it’s necessary and both have the want to make it work? Because if just one of us feel that’s it’s not worth it then we are just wasting each other’s time. Because it takes two to make it work and if we don’t feel the same way we used to then there isn’t a point to drag it out.

I know that I have this numb feeling when it comes to us. It’s like I’m in the eye or a storm if that makes sense. Like it’s not even about whose fault anything is anymore. It’s just like we need to realize shit about ourselves and each other and figure out if we are going to mesh or not.

I know that there are things that I have issues with that Idk if you will understand/ be able to adapt to. I also don’t know if I can be okay with no changes on these issues. You know? I wonder if there are things you feel the same way about. What does it mean if there are things that we aren’t able to adapt to? Is it a matter of just overlooking them or is it bigger than that to a point to where it’s not going to work?

I wonder what you think about when you think about me. What you think of my name or hear my name what is the image you see? What am I doing? Am I smiling? Am I angry? What am I wearing? Is it something you like or don’t like? When you think of me as a person? What is the image you see when you think about the kind of person I am? Am I smiling? Am I happy? An I angry? Am I a bitch? Am I an annoyance? When you hear/ think about my name how does it make you feel? When you think about the kind of person I am, how does that make you feel? Do you like what you see in both cases?

Do I really matter to you? If so, as much as I used to? Do you still get happy when you think about me or see me? Does the thought of me bring you happiness, sadness, anger, aggravation? Does the picture of me look happy or like it was once happy? When you look in my eyes in the pictures in your head and in real life, what do you see? What emotions do I have/ do you have. These are all things I would really like to know and I will answer them for you too.

When you talk to other people about me, what do you say? What do you want to say? What things do you keep to yourself? What thing do you wish you wouldn’t have to keep to yourself? What is something about me that you would like for people to know about me if you knew judgement wouldn’t be an issue.

And we need to think about and answer these things honestly to each other and to ourselves. Or else there’s no point and it’s fake. And neither one of us deserve the other one being fake and wasting the other ones time. I feel like this is like the nitty gritty and this is what everything boils down to. Enough arguing and enough resentment. It’s time to think and decide, ya know?

-Me

[theceilingiswhite]

READ DESCRIPTION Tw: this is written about the aftermath of sexual assault. If you or someone you love is struggling with this please reach out for help. Visit the @nsvrc page, rainn.org, or call the hotline 800.656.HOPE.

[lampgang]

“Quälende Gedanken / Haunting Thoughts”: eine Kurzgeschichtensammlung von Pika Golob (TEXT/RAHMEN Verlag)

„Ich habe all meine Kraft hineingesteckt, all meinen Willen, den ich in den Tiefen meines schwachen Herzens noch übrig hatte. Schließlich wartete der Tod dort draußen auf mich – der schöne vergebende Tod. Kein Schmerz mehr, kein Hunger, keine Schreie, nur das Nichts…“, schreibt Pika Golob in einer der Kurzgeschichten mit dem Titel „Geralds Geheimnis“, reiht eine Fülle an Gefühlen aneinander und spinnt um diese ihre Gedanken in weiteren fünf kurzen Geschichten weiter. Neugierig hantelt sich die Autorin von Erzählung zu Erzählung und bewegt sich stringent zwischen Zorn und Zärtlichkeit.

Die slowenische Autorin Golob schreibt ihre Anekdoten nicht als ausufernde Stories. Die 33-Jährige balanciert in diesen Anekdoten solide und geheimnisvoll, transportiert Beziehungen über die Charaktere der Geschichten, beschreibt morbide Szenarien mit überraschenden Höhepunkten und formuliert freimütig und aufrichtig. Golob macht also das, was sie musikalisch in ihrer Scream-Synth-Duo-Band "it's everyone else" auch ausdrückt: Persönliche Erfahrungen und Ideen werden über Sprache bzw. Worte transportiert – nur noch besser. Hieß die letzte Platte noch „Heaven is an empty room“, könnte dieses Buch auch den Titel „Hell was full“ tragen. Die Erzählungen sind nämlich schroff, ergreifend und extrem eindringlich – außerdem sind die sechs Kurzgeschichten jeweils in Deutsch und Englisch abgedruckt und rücken somit das Gesamtbild sehr gelungen in die Auslage der Aufmerksamkeit.

„Vorahnung“ bohrt sich zu Beginn eingängig brutal in das Gedächtnis der Leserschaft und zeigt, wohin diese apokalyptische Reise gehen wird. „Geralds Geheimnis“ und „Verzehrt“ fressen die Leser skrupellos mit Haut und Haaren auf, bevor sie folglich brachial und bedingungslos in „Die Prozession“ wieder ausgespuckt werden. „Der Fluch von Lone“ dreht im abschließenden Kapitel „das Licht ab“ und lässt uns ungeschönt alleine im Dunkeln zurück. Schicht im Schacht! Jedes geschriebene Element greift (fast) ohne Knirschen in das Nächste; alle Handlungselemente zünden effektiv, lösen weitere Gedanken beim Leser aus und bleiben eindringlich und gedankenvoll. „Quälende Gedanken / Haunting Thoughts“ nimmt man die instinktive und doch strukturierte Entstehung ab; die Unbekümmertheit und der gleichzeitige Drang nach Kreativität der Autorin sind absolut glaubwürdig und die Tatsache, dass es für alle Beteiligten ein beeindruckendes Leseerlebnis ist, macht einfach Lust nach mehr. Pika Golob kann schon vieles, muss aber nicht alles. Stay true!

http://haubentauchers.blogspot.co.at/2017/03/kurzgeschichten-des-monats.html

[thewordofone-blog]

I am an untamed creature...

A wild child, born from craziness. Nothing will be able to cage me forever. Living a hectic life can get tiresome sometimes, but I keep on looking for the next thrill. It's addictive, almost like a drug. Can anything handle my brand of chaos? Some have tried... most are unsuccessful. The ones that can I call my friends, who also live like the unpredictable waves of the ocean. It's enjoyable, but sometimes it can get upsetting. Sitting alone at night sometimes I wonder how long can a life like that last? What are truly the consequences of the actions that we take today, and how are they shaping our future? These thoughts plague my mind, rotting my way of thinking into this skewed sense of what the words right and wrong actually mean.