#he has more........... its just a matter of finding them whoops

[discocandles]

i said id make a tierlist of fairy tail men based on how much of a smug motherfucker i think they are, and so guess what a bitch did

and ill put my thoughts under the cut bc i can(theres a lot of them fyi)

Fairy Tail is a series with an abundance of cocky bastards, smug motherfuckers, and annoying little shits(usually said w/ love). So I made the tiers accordingly:

Radiates cockiness constantly: self-explanatory. they're so smug you can like smell it on them. Jackassery off the charts(affectionate)

ofc Gajeel would be at the top of the list. you hear that man go "geehee" one time and its abundantly clear he's a smug motherfucker through and through. the people he's nicest to are Levy and Pantherlily, and he will still razz them all the time for shits and giggles. it doesnt matter if he's an enemy or an ally, Gajeel Redfox stays a jackass, and i love that for him.

Sting, has gotten less cocky over time. probs bc he got his ass beat so bad it was on the news. Before that tho, he was so cocky. he changed the vibe of sabertooth, bc everyone else was stonefaced. but post-smackdown he's gotten to be more goofy and cheerful(even if he is still brash & kind of a dick at times). I think its also bc he's guild master, and didn't want to be jiemma so he aimed for the opposite. plus lots of other guild masters have very goofy and/or jovial exteriors, and he's emulating that.

Dragon slayer tier: i said they were getting their own tier. i meant it.

natsu... is natsu, and he could fit in the top tier. But to me he radiates more goofiness than cockiness. like yes, he's a cocky little shit on the regular, but usually when natsu is being smug or bragging, its on behalf of others. ex: bragging about lucy's win over bixlow, cackling at how shocked everyone was over erza demolishing pandemonium, taunting the twin dragons in their fight less bc it was personal to him, but for his guild, etc.

Cobra/Erik: listen to him, basically every time he speaks you hear it. he's insufferable and he knows it. and its def bc of the hearing everything bit, bc its an "i know something you definitely don't" kind of smug.

Acnologia: i really have no thoughts about him, but like hes def smug about being a big bad evil guy. ok

Laxus was kinda like Sting in that he became less of a cocky asshole over the span of the show, partially bc he lost some teen angst and gained some perspective, but he's definitely still got the swagger of a guy who knows he can kick most anyone's ass in a moment's notice.

Rogue could probably be lower ngl. like he and wendy are the reasons i know that dragon slaying doesnt mean being over-confident. and like he also was in the his-ass-got-beat-so-bad-its-on-the-news thing but he is still generally pretty confident in his abilities, but hes not being over the top about it. i think he just lets sting take the lead there.

PLEASE beat his ass: these are the dudes that are so cocky that i find it grating. Jackassery off the charts(derogatory). altrnative titles: im beating you up, stfu tier, and DIE. DIE. DIE IN A PLANE CRASH

Zancrow is poster boy of this tier. hate his ass. i can't describe the face i make when i hear his laugh. the only good things he did were tell Meredy the truth about Ultear, then die horribly.

Bacchus: I do find his cockiness grating, but bc of the particular type of cockiness. because he's so misogynistic about it. like yeah, you won a drinking game, but that doesn't mean you can steal her bra off her back while she's passed out. yes, this guy agreed on a wager, but saying "if i win i get to sleep with both of your sisters at once"? ... ew.

bixlow is the one i mean this the least for. i was very happy to see Lucy whoop his ass, but post-fantasia, he's just kinda annoying, and i had to put him somewhere. he's like my detox so this tier doesnt make me punch something.

Mest on the other hand i want dead. like there's the obvious shit, but also he reads like a cop to me bc of all the shit he fully believes he can get away with, despite it being wildly corrupt. i hope your death is painful you scum

Taurus... what gives you the confidence to be saying that shit all the fucking time. also cockiness thats mixed with misogyny

It kinda depends tbh: basically these guys are fairly cocky, but it doesn't feel like the default. it should probs be like "vast majority of the time or something" idk.

Gray: i feel like im gonna get asked why he wasnt higher. listen hes definitely a smug jackass, im not saying he isnt, but it feels like he flips a switch to make that happen, otherwise he's just quietly brooding.

Zeref's curse probably plays a lot into how cocky he is, bc like when hes unintentionally emitting death blasts, theres nothing in the way of being smug, but like when we see him not caring about life, he's very sassy.

Lyon is in the same boat as gray tbh, but hes a bit more goofy id say. he's got more of a penchant for wanting to annoy his pseudo-brother than being a jackass, but when he atarts out, oh my lord, he's insufferable and pretentious so like he can vary.

Scorpio definitely had that one time he wasnt all "wicked" rock n roll and shit at least. i dunno we shouldve seen more of him outside of quick attacks and being aquarius' bf

Jet was wayyyyyyy cockier before tenrou. but even then he was seen as dependent on levy, and ofc he'd lose that type of stuff after the timeskip.

Prect/Hades: like he was mostly stoic and whatnot during ft zero, but then became a cocky asshole by going mad over like magic power and whatnot does put you into the yeah youre an ass sometimes tier

Capricorn: the guy means well, but like for deffos pretentious and a bit of a dick about it i thinks

Pretty boy smug(TM): this is kinda like the dragon slayer tier, but instead of smugness because of power, its bc of being attractive(this is functionally the middle tier fyi)

Loke: honestly he's got both kinds of smugness let's be real here. But given how he's very much a play boy(a renowned one in fact) and thats the main thing we know about him for a hot while, that's where the focus ends up. its all part of his flirtations at this point

Yuri: so he was actually supposed to be in the tier above pretty boy but then i was like "actually, this kinda checks and is pretty funny ngl." so yeah he's in pretty boy tier now.

pieces: i dunno man its just the vibes. we dont see enough of him in this form for me to get a real grasp on him.

the 3 blue pegasus motherfuckers(i aint listing them seperately): where the hell else would they go. its literally their whole thing

Self-assured ig: the first tier in they arent smug/cocky actually. i said fairy tail was full of cocky men. these guy's self confidence is either around or even below their general skill level

Pantherlily: the poster boy(cat?) for this. like Lily is a very confident guy, but he's got the skill to back that up as well as not trying to bite off more than he can chew. i wish we got to see more of him(totes not bc he's my favorite exceed and im biased)

Warrod: tbh he kinda seems to have less confidence than is probably merited for his power, but also hes usually so calm and nonchalant(or seemingly senile) that its really hard to tell that for sure

Cancer: listen the dude knows what hes good at, and that cutting hair, and given that lucy never summons him to ask about cutting anything else, i feel like that's a part of their contract or something.

droy: i dunno about droy. it feels like he was a generally normal guy but then he became the butt of a bunch of fat jokes and all of that makes it harder to read his character as a result. he seems normal

Alzack seems to have gotten more confident over time. i feel like its partially because how tied he is with Bisca, and while it feels like a detractor in earlier parts of the the series, after they get married, it seems like he's far more comfortable in the role of being her husband, and also being the best dad he can be for asuka. and like we stan a supportive husband and loving dad.

reedus.... hes normal ig. he paints and hes very proud of his abilities there. we really stop seeing him around like the grand magic games arc so eh?

sagittarius is in the same boat as cancer really. thats why theyre in the same tier

Catholic guilt tier: oh baby lets go its my favorite!!! this is where its like i dont think this is humility, i think this is some confidence issues or self-deprication

Jellal: god how could i have a catholic guilt tier and not put jellal in it? he reeks of that shit. and like sure, he was pretty cocky when he was evil and occasionally will have some general swagger when it comes to his fights, but that is so vastly outweighed by his severe self-worth issues and his constant desire to repent for his sins(you see where im getting the catholic guilt?). seeing him being cocky post-tower of heaven usually feels wrong and ooc, he's too much of a sad wet cat

Simon also kinda feels like he suffered from catholic guilt, but to a lesser degree. he also just had this vibe of consistently undervaluing himself, esp in comparison to the people around him(particularly with erza. hell esp with erza. he barely felt himself worthy of telling her he was in love with her ever)

freed may not radiate catholic guilt but he definitely doesnt radiate confidence in my eyes unless its confidence in Laxus. honestly hes lowkey catholic about laxus(specifically in reference to the one time he went on a job with Wendy and asked a laxus in the sky for advice?)

Mystogan may not be our main dimension's jellal, but he is still jellal, as seen by how he tries to take the fall constantly for reverse anima stuff.

Elfman: i feel like i may catch some heat for this, but like come on. i feel like his "oh im so manly all the time and im obessed with being a man" thing, is often a front, like hes trying to put on a brave facade for his sisters' sake. idk maybe its bc ive been watching the tartaros arc that i put him here but eh whatever

anyways, much love <3

[princessbrunette]

John b letting puppy reader paint his nails even tho she has shaky hands and paints outside the nail bed <3 (projecting)

��� • ﻌ - ა ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

“you know i don’t know if this bright pink is my colour, pup.” john b squints one eye with a sly smile, the expression telling you everything you needed to know — that being he really didn’t care what colour you chose for him.

“its my favourite, therefore its perfect. because you’re my favourite too.” you explain matter of factly as you unscrew the top, the dried paint on the inside making it momentarily hard to unscrew before you cracked it, grabbing his hand with your clammy one and laying it on your thigh. “you have to stay really still.” you instruct in a quieter tone, locking in with wide eyes as you dip the brush into the paint.

“still as a statue, got it.” he nods with faux seriousness, unable to wipe the adoring smile off his face as he places all his concentration into watching you instead. his eyes flicker down to his nails when he feels the cool paint breach his skin, the shakiness of your hands making it difficult for you to keep the paint on his nails alone. “oh, whoops.” his voice rumbles from above you.

you ignore this, continuing on with your job — tongue tucked between your lips in concentration, quietly humming under your breath.

after finishing up on one hand, you hold his palm up into the light to get a better look before folding slightly in frustration, face crumpling just a tad. “god, i messed it up so much.”

“hey, that’s alright. i think i like it better like this. looks more rugged and manly, y’know.” he nods and your eyes flicker to his, a small smile biting at the corners of your lips.

“umm, whatever. your nails are barbie pink, i’m not sure if rugged and manly is the vibe.” you let a giggle slip before leaning forward to blow at his nails to help the drying process, a few flecks of spit gracing his hand as you puff your cheeks out to do so.

“wow, puppy seriously it’s 2024. of course barbie pink is manly.” he sarks, eyes focused on making sure the nail paint bottle didn’t spill on your lap. “careful, sweetheart.”

your head raises, spitty lips smushing against his suddenly like you’d had a sudden wave of affection for your boyfriend. he cups your cheek with his non painted hand, smile curving against your lips. “and now you’re kissing me? kinda unprofessional for a salon if you ask me. think i wanna talk to your manager.” the mirth is evident in his voice and you giggle in retaliation, clambering onto his lap — your boyfriend saving the polish from being knocked over as you do so.

“‘kay… my managers in my pants. you gotta take them off if you wanna speak to her.” you laugh delightedly against his mouth, clashing teeth and he chuckles, lifting his chin for a moment to escape the kisses, hands carefully finding your waist.

“wow, okay.” he sarks, only making you giggle harder, kissing his jaw and writhing on his lap a little. “gonna get nail polish on your clothes, messy girl.”

you calm a little from your giggle attack, the arousal settling in. “s’okay daddy.” the change in your voice clear, becoming more slurred and needy as the moments pass. he centres in, realising that you really do need him now. the daddy nickname meant it was go time, and suddenly he didn’t care too much about having one set of unpainted fingernails.

૮ • ﻌ - ა ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

[attapullman]

INTRODUCTION: Just For Tonight One Night Only // series

A commitmentphobe and a serial dater meet in a bar. Then decide to have a one night stand. A relationship just for tonight.

All the paths they lead / To the single solemn place / Then we'll stay for a weekend / And leave without a trace - JUST FOR TONIGHT ONE NIGHT ONLY

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Maggie Brentley (female!OC)

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: 18+ (minors and blank dni), alcohol, yearning, later chapters will have explicit language, smut, anxious attachment style, and angst

A Note From Mo: Hello, I am nervous about posting my first OC fic! This fic has turned so deeply personal while still being so unbelievably fun and goofy, so I can't believe it's finally ready to share with the world. Enjoy!

ONO MASTERLIST

Nothing is permanent.

But how Maggie Brentley wished some things were. Perfume on the skin. The sunset over the ocean. Her dog’s puppy coat. Not anything too substantial, but the little moments that make life special. A smile to be enjoyed at any time without the sorrow when it leaves. 

Her whole life she had looked for something constant. A childhood shipped between military bases, the most consistent part of her upbringing had been the inevitable moving sign on their front lawn. The faces of friends had changed, neighbors had been replaced, and languages had swapped. Maggie just wanted something that was hers. Something that was forever.

And maybe holding onto a dream is how reality happens, sitting at this weathered Navy bar no better than the ones her dad and his colleagues hung out in, wearing her tightest jeans and too much mascara. Living this close to North Island almost felt comforting, all these men in uniform and the smell of engine fuel mixing with the sea air. It was a scent she’d happily enjoy for a lifetime.

Maggie chewed on her bottom lip as she surveyed the crowd. Close-cropped hair, biceps for days, not a scruff in sight. Exactly what she had come for. It wasn’t really a matter of if one of the uniformed men took her home, but which one. But for the love of all that is holy, could one of them please commit to happily ever after?

Her nails tap on the screen of her phone, the godforsaken app open to their messages all week. Some aviator hot shot who promised he could rock her world and show her the sky. His profile said he was looking for a long-term relationship and that was enough for her. When the bar is in the sand, find a guy who flies a plane. Worst case scenario he would buy her a well whiskey and soda and never talk again.

There’s a hand on the back of her barstool and suddenly a thick chest pushes into her line of sight as a man puts his tanned forearms on the bar. “Oh, Penny, my dear!” 

He could do. No ring, strong arms, the slick smile of a man who gets what he wants. Maggie’s hands fidget to straighten her top, make herself more open and alluring. The man casually looks to his left, unknowingly taking in the way she sips her sweating drink through its tiny straw and batted her lashes. But his sea glass eyes instantly drop away, uninterested. 

The man grabs his beers and heads back to the pool table, his group of khaki uniforms whooping and hollering loud enough to be heard through the bar. Maggie holds back the sigh she desperately wants to let out - a sound of defeat - and focuses again on waiting for her hot shot to text her back. Silence since last night, but her mother had always said she admired Maggie’s optimism. 

Any second now.

But when her first whiskey soda turned into two and a small clump of mascara collected under her eye, it was clear that hot shot had found another way to spend his evening. The evil part of her brain hoped it was in the infirmary with a full body cast. Or shipped out to a November in Oymyakon.

The ice in her glass melts a bit more - a sad excuse for a drink at this point - and Maggie knows she’s was avoiding the bartender’s questioning glance. Did she want to stay for a third? Between Hot Shot and the man with the sea glass eyes, any hopes of a self-confidence comeback were slim. Might as well pack it in and go home where at least her couch and dog would love her.

But despite the change Maggie disliked, everything happens for a reason. And that was how when she raised her hand to pay her tab, she accidentally smacked a cup of peanuts right out of some poor, unsuspecting man’s hand right onto the sandy, beer-covered floor.

“I am so sorry!” Her face floods with color as she leaps from her barstool. The man stands dumbstruck. Peanuts in his hand, gone the next. Without a second thought she’s crouching in jeans meant for standing, brushing nuts into the cup and hiding her embarrassment.

Most of the peanuts are swept up when Maggie sees khaki slacks kneel beside her, a large hand outstretched at the mess. “It’s okay, please don’t pick those up. I don’t even like peanuts that much.”

And when she looks up to apologize again - her cheeks hot and blooming with color - the freshest ocean blue washes over her. She didn’t know they made eyes that beautiful. Clear and honest, with a sliver of sapphire at the edges. The crafted frames resting on his nose only highlight their organic beauty. 

Words are lost on her lips, the last handful of peanuts falling back to the ground. Of all the Navy men in the world, she just had to hit the one with the prettiest eyes.

Before she’s even fully standing up Maggie’s waving down the bartender. Her elbow comes way too close to his face, another accident narrowly avoided. “Let me buy you another cup, that was full.” This whole situation is a disaster. He shakes his head, promising it’s fine. “Really, I insist.”

Her parents had always said she was too stubborn, too focused on having things how she thought they should be than accepting the world for how it was. Maggie would roll her eyes and say she just believed in fairness. If you destroy a guy’s cup of peanuts, you buy him another. Who cares if he doesn’t want one?

With a hesitant smile, the stranger takes the barstool next to hers. He falls into it, all limbs. She uses the support to hop up into the seat. Her original plans for the night might be dashed, but renewed optimism fills her senses at her new company. His face is warm and genuine. He looks like he steps out of the way for lady bugs. When it came to bed companions, he was looking promising.

“I’m Maggie,” she croaks, her hand shooting into the space between mechanically. Raised by a Navy General, she had a firm handshake before the third grade. Warm, calloused fingers slip around hers, palm zinging at the first touch. 

“Bob. Nice to meet you.”

Nothing is permanent.

It was a mantra Bob Floyd lived by every day. Every time he got up into that jet, it could be the last time. 

The temporary nature of it all was why he didn’t do relationships. The deployments, the constant moves. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been home for two holidays in a row. It was not only his own heart, but the hearts of others he was protecting when he said goodbye after a night between the sheets.

Attachments were messy. He was the best of the best, and any self-respecting WSO kept a tidy backseat. 

Plenty of squadrons had seen him deploy this method of dating - a girl never seen twice - and joked more than once that his call sign should be “One Night Only”. But he took their jesting in stride and continued to bade his goodbyes in the wee hours of the morning. When nothing was serious, no one got hurt.

So when he made his way back to the pool table and his cup of peanuts was assaulted, there was no harm in a little flirting. She had a too big smile and eyes that begged for conversation. But it was the mischievous grin when she slammed her card down to pay that kept him in his barstool, that familiar itch of want crawling up his spine.

Fresh peanuts in front of him and a full drink in front of her, Bob doesn’t realize he’s completely ditched his group until he hits the bottom of his cup. They’ve talked about different Naval bases they’ve lived on, whether pepperoni or sausage is better on pizza, and for the past few minutes she’s been guessing where his accent is from. She got it right on the first guess, but he’s enjoying watching her forehead crinkle as she goes through all the twangy states in her head. 

His mother had always told him he was too set in his ways, that sometimes a little hiccup or break in the routine actually benefitted in the long run. Bob had always rolled his eyes, there was a reason they were called routines. You could have a good time with just about anyone, his years of deployments were proof. Whatever this flirty bar conversation was, he enjoyed the moment for the temporary joy it brought, especially with Maggie’s outraged expression when he revealed where he grew up.

“That was my first guess!” Her hand shoots out and smacks the shoulder of his khaki uniform. The skin is hot where she touched him, a shot of warmth shoots down his arm fueled by flirty tension and whatever peppy retro track is blaring from the jukebox. Just as quickly, she tucks her palm back at her side with an almost guilty grin.

He can’t remember the last time he felt at ease in a crowded room.

Since initially sitting, Bob’s shoulders loosened and he’s practically on top of her with how far he’s leaned over during their conversation. Bright hazel eyes twinkle in the warm light, that mischievous sparkle beckoning him in.

“You want to get out of here?”

While Bob remained composed and lightly put his palm to the small of her back as he led them out, adrenaline rushed his system. The excitement of a new adventure ahead, of the unknown. The same energy as every time his front seater starts the engine. 

He heads toward a particularly thick throng of people in front of the entrance and his hand drops to let her go first. Maggie tugs his hand back, linking them together again - a zing of electricity! - and his fingers stray too close to the rounded seam of her impossibly tight jeans. The blood rushing to his lower extremities pleads to find out what those jeans look like on the floor. 

It’s an unseasonably warm night, the lightest breeze brushing the surrounding palms and loose sand. The absence of music and bodies and lights out here in the parking lot has Bob nervous. His eyes meet hers and a moment passes between the two amorous strangers. As if waiting for the other to come to their senses. 

It’s only one night. I’ll never see you again.

Bob motions to his truck, a small hopeful smile playing on his lips. “I’ll follow you?”

That obnoxiously wide grin splits open and lights up the dark lot. For the next twenty minutes his focus is solely on the taillights in front of him as North Island fills his rearview, her little sedan forking left onto Harbor Drive. His fingers drum against the steering wheel, the combination of road sounds and the staticky radio not enough to drown out his thumping heart. 

Blood rushes in his ears when they finally reach Maggie’s stucco-and-terracotta apartment a few blocks from the beach, the red paint on her door peeling. His hand makes its way to her hip - a comforting gesture -  as she unlocks the door and lets it slowly creak open. His sapphire eyes meet her hazel in the dim lamplight. 

Nothing is permanent, so let’s make the most of tonight. 

Now that you've met our players, who's ready for more? Our commitmentphobe and serial dater are almost here with their first chapter (which I promise is longer, there's a reason I made this a prologue)!

Since this is my first OC fic, I'm skipping a taglist and letting this find who wants it. But of course need to tag my babes who have been so supportive with this fic and the journey: @sorchathered @bobfloydsbabe @baezen @roosterforme

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

A promise kept

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 8

Prompt: Idiots to lovers

Rated: G

Tags: Childhood friends to lovers; Mistaken identity; Fluff; Modern AU if you squint

CW: none

Notes: @house-of-the-moving-image and I came up with this while bouncing ideas for another drabble and fell instantly in love with the idea. Be sure to also check out the precious art they made!!!

The bars of the jungle gym creak but Steve doesn’t lift his face from his hunched knees.

“Hey, big boy, don't cry.” 

“‘m not crying. Go away!”

This is ridiculous. He's almost eight, and eight-year-old boys don't cry. Not even if their only friend in the whole world just told them they're moving away to live with their uncle. 

They don't even know each other’s names. Names don't matter when you're eight and you're both at the park and looking for someone to play with. 

So Steve is big boy. 

And his friend … well, Steve mostly calls him his dragon.

It's because of this game they have. Steve is a king and the other boy his dragon and the jungle gym their castle, and every day, they have a new adventure. 

Except now, there won't be any more adventures.

“Oh? But how am I supposed to give you this?” 

Steve lifts his head, goes a bit cross-eyed at the flower that's hovering right in front of his face. 

“What would I want with that?” he snaps. “Flowers are for girls.” 

His dragon chuckles as he joins him on his perch. The playground stretches out under them. Their kingdom. 

“But this isn't just any flower. It's magical.” 

Steve wrinkles his nose. “Magical?” 

“Yup!” His friend's face breaks into a grin, two teeth short. “As long as you keep it, I'll always make my way back to you. It may take a while, but I'll find you eventually.” 

“Promise?” Steve murmurs. There's a lump in his throat and it comes out small and quiet.

“I promise.” The other boy winks and tugs the flower behind his ear. “That I'll find you, and that I'll always be your dragon. And now, my king … how about one final adventure?” 

*

The colors of the jungle gym are faded with age. Like the pressed flower in its frame on his bedroom wall. 

“Oh hey, Steve!” 

Steve looks up from the book in his lap to find a familiar someone next to their picnic blanket.

“Eddie, hi!” He smiles, even as his stomach drops. “I … what are you doing here?” 

“Steve?” Will asks, ogling Eddie's tattoos and wild hair with large eyes. “Who's this?” 

“Oh, erm …” Steve runs an awkward hand through his hair. “My friend Eddie. He just moved here. Eddie, this is Will and El, the kids I babysit?” 

“Of course,” Eddie dips into a bow, which makes the twins giggle. “Steve has told me all about you.” 

“Do you want to sit with us?” El asks. “Steve is reading the How to train your dragon books to us.” 

“Fuck yeah, I love dragons!” Eddie cheers. Only he doesn’t sit on the blanket like a normal person - he perches himself on the steps of the jungle gym and hisses, pulling a silly face and mimicking claws with his hands. El whoops and claps while Will smiles shyly. Steve needs to swallow against the memories that threaten to crawl up his throat. 

*

“Was it alright to invite Eddie?” El asks. They've finished reading for the day and she helped Steve get snow cones. “You said he's your friend, but you seem sad when you look at him.”

Steve sighs.

“It's okay,” he says, because how do you explain this to a seven-year-old? 

How do you explain I only met him a few weeks ago but I really like him and it confuses me because it seems like I've known him forever because he reminds me so much of someone I used to know and I'm scared because it feels like I'm betraying that person even though I'm sure they've long forgotten about me?

Will is up on the jungle gym when they round the corner, beaming from ear to ear and talking animatedly with Eddie, who is gesturing up at him from the ground. 

“El!” he calls out when he spots his sister. She smiles and clambers up to join him, handing over one of the dripping snow cones. “Eddie has the best ideas. He just told me about this game he used to play as a kid. Did you know the jungle gym could be a castle and we could be kings and dragons? What do you want to be? We could-” 

“Steve?” 

Someone touches his shoulder and he flinches back into his own body. Eddie’s voice is full of concern, and okay, that's probably because he just dropped their snow cones. They're forming rainbow-colored puddles in the grass. 

“Stevie, c'mon, talk to me! You're freaking me out here!”

He snaps his head up. 

“Oh, thank fuck,” Eddie smiles. His eyes are large with worry. Large and brown and crinkling at the corners and so familiar and Steve's an idiot. “You just zoned out there, I thought-” 

“It's you,” Steve mutters. His hands are shaking and his eyes are stinging and then the next thing he knows is that his arms are around Eddie’s neck and he's sobbing into his shoulder. “Holy fuck, it's really you! You're my dragon!” 

“Wait, what?” Eddie pulls back, smile wide and incredulous. His fingers wipe away Steve’s tears, trace the shape of his cheekbones and jaw. “You're- Shit, really? I knew you looked familiar, but I thought there was no way-” 

“I was feeling so bad!” Steve blurts, chest heaving with what might be sobs or laughter, and who cares really, when he found his dragon again? “I was so scared to fall for you because-” 

“Oh?” Eddie’s grin isn't missing any teeth, but it's still just as brilliant. “Are you now?” 

“Huh?” 

Eddie chuckles. “Falling for me?” 

Steve feels himself flush, even as he gives a shaky nod. Eddie’s eyes are soft as he pulls him in. 

“It's okay, big boy. You don't have to be afraid of anything while I'm around.”

“This is really weird,” El whispers from somewhere above them as their lips meet. “I don't think they understand how being friends works.”

All my holiday drabbles

[riality-check]

1.

There were scissors, once. Maybe. She thinks.

That time, the In-Between, has always been kinda nebulous. Floaty, like smog. No substance, like the colored fluff she’s sometimes seen topsiders take bites of.

Why the people with air decided to pay stupid money to eat it, she’ll never understand.

What was she talking about again? 

Oh, the In-Between. The maybe-scissors.

She remembers something sharp coming towards her, and then she bit on something like a carrot, ‘cept it was warmer and tasted way worse, and then there was yelling and red and her head hit the wall, but that didn’t really matter, did it? She had more than a few screws loose, and trying to tighten them was like using a staple gun instead of a screwdriver. Didn’t work all that well for how loud and painful it was. Might as well let all those loose screws rattle around up there. Might be the only thing loud enough to drown Them out.

No more scissors in the In-Between after that. Not that she remembers. She’s just going by the length of her hair.

2.

The scissors Before were dull. Vander - back when he wasn’t rotting with the rest, thankfully he’s not one of her ghosts - used to swear when he had to use them. She used to peek out from under the bowl he put on her head, and he’d laugh but swear again when he realized the whole haircut was crooked.

She made it crooked. Because she couldn’t listen.

Maybe that should have been the first sign.

But that was before actions had consequences that went boom and meant blood. That was when all her fuck-ups could be fixed by going to Vi, who had hands like Vander’s - big, brawny, bruised, lotta other b-words - but actually had the dexterity to braid the long, choppy parts back.

3.

Soon After, Jinx gets used to her name, and she gets frustrated with her hair.

It’s longer than it’s ever been, mostly evened out from the last crooked bowl cut she got from Before - the last one she’d ever get, which, hey, she can’t fuck those up anymore, one less thing, whoop dee doo - and it falls into her face ever time she hunches over something with her tools.

She does a lot of that. Focusing on something that Silco needs her to do, something that grinds and squeals in time with the screaming music she blasts is the only thing to make Them quiet.

They’ve been quiet, her ghosts, for a few days. Jinx knows better by now than to think they’ll be quiet forever. They always come back like they never will.

When her hair flops into her face again, she screams. She shoves everything off her bench and hunts viciously for a pair of scissors.

She doesn’t find any. Instead, she grabs a pocket knife. It’s from After, from now, and it doesn't matter that she can’t remember if Silco gave it to her or if it was a begrudging castaway from Sevika or one of the others. All that matters is that it’s sharp. It’ll be quick. Quicker than the Before cuts. And then she can get back to work. Back to good noise.

She holds it up to the first hunk of hair she can grab, about to cut it, about to do something actually useful, something that works for once, shut up They’re back shut up-

And then Jinx catches sight of herself in the mirror.

Faces flicker: hers, now, angry and wide-eyed and twisted into something painful, very nearing animal, and that girl from Before’s. Young. Happy. With hair the length Jinx was just about to cut hers to.

The faces will keep flickering if the knife has its way. She can’t put the knife down. The faces keep flickering, back and forth so fast Jinx can’t tell which one of them is crying.

The door of her workshop opens, and without thinking, she hurls the knife toward the sound.

She pretends she hears it stick in the door and not clatter uselessly to the floor.

“You know, you really should look as you throw it if you want it to do anything.”

This voice, not one of Theirs, gives her the strength to tear away from the mirror.

Silco straightens from where he’s picked up the pocket knife. He wipes it delicately on the leg of his trousers and flips it once, twice in his hand.

Jinx braces herself. She’s seen this sort of leadup before, watching from rafters in places she’s not supposed to be but are so easy to climb, knows it’s only a matter of time before he releases that knife aimed right at her.

She hopes he’ll miss on purpose. He does that sometimes, just to scare people. It’s funny. When it isn’t her.

But the knife never comes. Somewhere along the way, she closed her eyes, and she opens, them, startled, at the clatter of the sheathed knife on her workbench.

She follows the line of Silco’s open hand up to his face.

“Would you like to tell me why you threw that at me, Jinx?” he asks softly.

He’s the only person besides the ghosts when they’re mean and sister-not-sister, that makes her name sound natural. He uses it often. It sounds like a curse-not-curse.

Like me, she sometimes thinks.

“My hair,” she says because he doesn’t like liars.

A furrow appears between his brows. “Could you not cut it?”

Jinx knows Pow-the girl and not herself, thank you very much, ladies and gents, will be staring back if she glances in the mirror.

She turns away from it.

“No.”

“Would you like me to-” Silco starts as he picks the knife back up.

Jinx can only think of the In-Between, the maybe-scissors, the taste of iron on her baby teeth. She slams her hand down onto Silco’s, on top of the knife.

He stares at her. His left eye is cloudy. He should fix that soon. Jinx would do it, assuming she’s allowed to keep her hands after this.

She gulps and tries not to glance down at her painted nails, how much she’d miss having those.

Silco raises his eyebrows. Jinx puts her hands into her lap.

“Well,” he says, leaving the knife on the workbench and peering down at her. “It seems we’re at an impasse. If you can’t cut it, and you won’t allow me to, then-”

“I need,” Jinx begins, but her words are as scrambled as the screws in her head. “I need it back, out, not gone, because she had it gone, I need it-”

She didn’t have that way, not really, and it’s the only thing she can think of to make it go away so she can work and it can be loud-good-quiet again, please don’t come back please do-

“Braided,” she finally lands on. It’s right, and she feels bile rise up in her throat. She swallows it back down and looks up at Silco.

He looks satisfied by her answer. “So braid it.”

“I can’t. I don’t know how.”

Before, back when sister-Vi-not-sister did it, that girl never learned. She was happy. Helpless. Dependent.

No wonder I keep seeing her face in the mirror, Jinx thinks, barely keeping back a giggle. None of that has changed.

A stool rattles as it’s wheeled behind her. She glances up in the mirror, sees Silco’s face over her shoulder. That’s good. If she keeps her eyes on him, the faces don’t flicker.

The music is still loud enough to drown Them out, but not so loud she can’t hear him if he talks.

“I’ll try,” is all he says before he neatly parts her hair down the middle. His hands are cold like his voice, but his grip is light like his breathing.

Jinx waits far too long, staring at his focused face in the mirror, before not even that helps with the faces. They switch in and out again like candle flame moves, and it’s only a matter of time before one-both-neither-who-cares starts crying again. She grabs a small box on the bench, props some childish mechanical trinket on top of it so she doesn’t have to tilt her head down, and takes it apart to have something to do with her hands and her eyes.

She works. If it wasn’t for his breathing, she wouldn’t know Silco was even behind her. He moves slowly, never speaking, and never tugs once.

(Before, Vi-not-sister would sometimes get frustrated when that girl would mess with her, and she’d tug on purpose. The girl would smack her back, and that was usually the end of it.)

It feels like forever between the longer hair and the glacial speed. Jinx takes apart three little toys and sorts their parts by size and function when Silco finally speaks again.

“How is that?”

She looks up in the mirror. 

The faces stop flickering.

She just sees herself with her hair bound back into two long braids just past her shoulders.

They’re a little loose toward the front, where her hair is shorter, but she can deal with that just fine.

She can work. She’s herself.

She’s Jinx, everybody. Hell yeah.

She spins on her stool and wraps her arms around Silco’s waist just like she did that first time, when she was smaller. (Contrary to how he looks, he really is great to hug. Solid. Safe.)

Silco’s arms settle around her after a beat. He doesn’t let go until she pulls back.

“I’ll get you the new model tonight,” she says, because now she can work and think and focus and wow her hands need something to do right now and she might as well be productive with her hair out of her face and the energy and the drive-

“Anything else?” Silco asks, already rising.

“Nope,” she says, popping the p, already focused on figuring out how to make things work.

That’s something that girl from Before could never manage.

She’s already turned back to her prototype by the time she hears him shut the door on his way out.

Only then does it occur to her to dry her tears.

4.

By the time Jinx lowers Silco into the water, he hasn’t touched her hair in years.

He braided it a lot when she was young, when she still had to learn by watching because he never talked as he did it. Always so focused. So smart, she had to admit, despite him being a liar, but he needed all of his brain to braid her hair.

To be fair, it was a lot of hair.

He never tugged, and it never hurt, and no matter how exactly she mimicked the deftness of his fingers, she could never match that painlessness.

As he sinks, she gives one of her floor-length braids a little tug. Better get used to it now. Scissors and cutting it are a no-go, yessir, thanks so much but she’ll pass on wanting to stab someone on instinct instead of meaning to.

Just the braids now. And, as she pulls herself out of the water, Jinx reminds herself that without Silco, they’re always going to hurt to do.

Read it on AO3 if you'd like as well!

[moestavern]

The HOMOE Masterpost

Shoutout to @butchbarneygumble for oking me to steal this idea from their Moeney Masterpost! Go peep that btw.

I see almost no one acknowledge all the gay shit these two have going on so i have to ship them all by myself and honestly that's unacceptable given how much this show implies between them. And with a ship name like Homoe? You have got to be kidding me they were handed to me on a golden fucking plater.

Blah blah i know these are jokes or w/e but its a show, no one here is real, you are not affected by me wanting these middle aged men to kiss each other (more than they already do) so lets get on with it!

This is currently only clips from the show, i will go through the comics/books/etc. if anything's hidden in there and ill add it to this post in the future.

This is gonna be a long post so everything is gonna be under the cut.

Episode: (S2E11) One Fish, Two Fish, Blow Fish, Blue Fish

Homer Kisses Moe. Moe responds with "not in public". So in private then?

H: Oh words wont do it- I love you Moe M: Not in public

---

Episode: (S8E3) The Homer they Fall

Just this whole episode.

H: Are you an angel? M: Yes Homer, Im an angel. All us angles wear Farah slacks. H: But you stopped the fight. Wont everyone be mad at you? M: Eh, lettem be mad. The only thing that matters to me is your'e safe. - D: Homer, your manager obviously loves you very much.

---

Episode: (S9E16) Dumbbell Indemnity

Dancing together + hints throughout. "if you squint" kinda stuff but ill take my breadcrumbs.

---

Episode: (S11E6) Hello Gutter Hello Fadder

Homer and Moe consider one another life partners.

Ma: Well, the one sure cure for the blues is to talk it over with your life partner. H: You're right! - H: I cant believe it Moe. The greatest feet of my life is already forgotten. M: Geez, Homer. I never seen ya this depressed. As your life partner, Im very worried.

---

Episode: (S11E10) Little Big Mom

When Lisa calls the tavern, Moe asks if Homer is going to another bar like its a cheating situation. Look at me however you want that's how im taking this. Moe's clingy.

M: Hey uh- is Homer there? L: No, he isn't. I dont know where he is. M: Im a little worried. He usually stops in for an eye opener on the way to work. L: He told us he'd been going to the gym. M: Uhahaha- Wow. Anyway, you dont think he could be at another bar do ya? Because i couldnt take that- i- i just couldnt. *crying*

---

Episode: (S11E16) Pygmoelian

Homer tells Moe his acting is a turn on.

M: The one hole ive never been able to fix is the one in my soul. H: That was amazing Moe. Im actually a little turned on. M: Yeah, hey i gotta gift.

---

Episode: (S16E7) Mommie Beerest

The thing i dont say is that i primarily ship all three of them together especially during late seasons. Reading "Moe takes the place of marge" jokes as shippy is- a bit of a stretch? whatever, it includes Moe telling Homer "i love you" and Homer calling Moe "Honey".

H: What would Marge say? M: Do whatever you have to do to save Moe's. I love my Homie. H: Ok honey, ill do it! Ma: What's going on here? M: Nothin- Nothing.

Also Homer and Moe sharing a bed 1/2.

---

Episode: (S17E5) Marge's Son Poisoning

If i had a nickel for every time Moe and Homer were called life partners id have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but its weird that it happened twice. (This has to be a lie, im certain there is a third time this has happened, i have yet to find it again) "They're lying, they're trying to hustle" um stfu- idc that's his life partner. he said so.

RT: God dern it son- what tha hell kinna sissy are you? M: Hey are you calling my life partner a sissy? Cause a hundred bucks says he could whoop you in arm wrestling.

---

Episode: (S18E6: Moe n' a Lisa)

Moe tells Homer he loves him.

H: Seriously Moe, I think you have a gift. M: Thanks Homer, I love you man. H: OoooOH you love a man.

---

Episode: (S20E8) The Burns and The Bees

Moe explains bees having sex to Homer and Homer thinks Moe is talking about the two of them.

H: But how are we supposed to combine the DNA of two strains of the same species? M: Actually Homer *whispering* H: *gasp* You and me? M: No. The bees. H: Oh! Yeah yeah. That's what i meant too. I... have no... inclination...

---

Episode: (S21E30 The Great Wife Hope)

Moe takes Homer dressed as Marge to his class reunion. He says he took Barney the year before.

M: Lets go Marge. My class reunion starts in an hour. H: Uh, Moe, i have a confession to make. Im just Homer dressed as Marge. M: Yeah, but last year i took Barney dressed as Marge. Think how much better they'll think you look. Hmm? H: Well you better not leave me and talk to your old friends all night. M: Keep talkin like that and ill leave ya here right now.

---

Episode: (S21E21) Moe Letter Blues

Homer kisses Moe.

H: Moe, i dont know rather to punch you or kiss you. So im gonna do both.

---

Episode: (S24E2) Treehouse of Horror XXIV

Look, i know its a demon that looks like Moe and NOT Moe. But cmon what was this???

H: Listen, pal, you seem like an honest guy. Is there any other deal you can accept? D: Three way. H: Hm- You, me, Marge? D: Demon, demon, you. H: Sigh- I guess its one of those things a dad has to do. - H: Now before we start, what's the safe word? D: Cinnamon H: Oh! I like that. Now, id like to try something new, if you dont mind. D: Cinnamon. Cinnamon! Cinnamon! Cinnamon!

---

Episode: (S25E12) Diggs

Ok- so the way Bart describes his feeling for Diggs is really queer and Homer immediately compares that to his feelings towards Moe.

B: I met this kid. Little older. Kinda strange. I dont think other people get him but i just wanna hang out with him all the time. H: *gasps* Its even better than i thought. You found your Moe Szyslak!

---

Episode: (S27E10) The Girl Code

Homer kisses Moe.

M: Hey what tha hell? Get your kisser off my head puss! H: What? Its how greek men say 'hello'. Non sexual guy kissing is the best.

---

Episode: (S28E4) Treehouse of Horror XXVII

Moe kisses a picture of Homer twice.

Thanks @leibi97 for remembering this one for me!

--- Episode: (S28E13) Fatzcarraldo

Homer calls Moe his "sweet wonderful bartender"

H: i had a great day and i really wanna celebrate with the boys so dont wait up for me my sweet wonderful bartender, Moe. M: Alright but whos the boys? H: Marge's boobs. See ya!

---

Episode: (S29E16) King Leer

Homer carrying Moe into the store. But also i like this episode over all from a Homoearge standpoint.

M: When i cross this threshold i begin a new life! *Picked up by Homer* This is the first time that ive ever been carried into a store. Look at me now lady foot locker! Look at me now.

---

Episode: (S32E15) Do Pizza Robots Dream of Electric Guitars

Ok guys THIS is what im talking about when i say in later seasons i kinda ship all three of them.

Ma: Did you see how he ate his breakfast? He doesn't shuffle his pancakes like a deck of cards. He doesn't air drum while driving, or race the dog in butt scooting across the carpet. And he always won. He's not my Homie anymore. B: We didnt notice any of that. Ma: A wife knows. M: And a bartender. Hes just- hes just not the same. He dont spin Barney around on the stool no more. He dont drink beer from a crazy straw just a sensible straw. What are we gonna do about our little man Midge? Ma: Were just gonna have to love him that much more. M: I didnt think that was possible. - B: Im used to seeing mom upset about dad, but Moe. That really shook me.

---

Episode: (S35E7) Its A Blunderful Life

They love each other :)

M: How dare you show your face in here. H: Moe, its me, and beneith all the drinking and the jokes we have a real relationship. And that means something. M: What are you gettin at? H: C'mon man. Deep down, we kinda love each other. H: *thrown through window* M: Love you too

---

Episode: (S35E15) Cremains of the Day

Moe and Homer share a bed 2/2.

M: Oh cmon Lenny, ghosts aint real. eh

Holding each other.

---

Episode: (S35E17) The Tipping Point

Dont- Even- Get- Me- Started

M: Exact change huh? Thats it? H: Aw, i really wanna tip ya Moe, but i promised my wife id quit. M: Heres a thought Homer. What if you took the moolah outta your pocket but you just stopped before anything happened? Ya know, everything but the tip. H: That dosent seem like it could lead to anything. M: Sure it couldnt. H: *slowly hands Moe ten dollars* H: We shouldnta done that. M: Does that mean- that you wanna stop? H: No *hands Moe more money* *moaning* It feels so good *hands Moe more money* M: Dont stop you generous man *handed more money* *moaning* Aw yeah give it to me big boy H: *handing Moe more money* You like that? M: Oh thats the spot H: I can do this all night M: Right there H: Tell me you want it M: Oh god- Oh god- Oh god- Oh god! H: Yes- Yes- Yes- Yes! *Wallet sprays money on Moe* C: I need a new bar. - M: *following Homer out of the bar* Where ya goin? H: I cant stop tippin Moe. Im hooked on tha rush! I gotta monkey on my back and hes got his hand out. M: But, what about us? H: No one service worker can satisfy my needs. God help me im a tip-phomaniac.

---

Jesus ok i dont know how to conclude this post. I will make updates to this. I know im missing stuff.

This is about a 3rd of my "moe is bi" list so maybe ill make that its own masterpost.

Someone asked me today what ship dynamic they are and i told them "the dumb one/the evil one/the woman". My spouse and i have been watching Futurama and they pointed out to me it was the same dynamic when i said i saw something between Fry/Bender/Leela as a trio.

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Our Blue and Green World: Part 1: Review [Spoilers]

Welp, here it is, the Wild Kratts TV movie (not to be confused with the feature film they've been teasing us with since 2021). There's been a lot of hype around this special and season, especially with how much the latter was being hyped up during the hiatus. Let's see if the blue and green bros were able to deliver: Spoilers under the cut

Well, this is certainly an attention grabber!

This entire live action intro is shot and edited like an animated Wild Kratts episode, it's glorious.

Woah, intro change!

They said the thing! They said the thing!

HELP THIS IS SO RELATABLE. Also, THE BOYS ARE FIGHTING

Lmao I don't think they do it very often, but using animals/nature in their insults is very creative.

Also, whooping crane episode when?

This entire song is mercifully short. Like most character sung songs in Wild Kratts, it's not good, but this at least is clever in its lyrics and its visuals. It feels like a Disney reference at best and I am content with that. I also ADORED seeing the Draco and Walrus Suit return again. It's arguably the best musical number in the series. No, that is not saying a lot.

MARTIN WHY ARE YOU THE ONE WHO'S MIFFED YOU NEARLY MUFASA'D YOUR LITTLE BROTHER

CHRIS WHY ARE YOU MILDLY INCONVENIENCED YOU GOT ACRAPHOBIA FALLING FROM THAT HEIGHT

When I first saw the clip, I thought that they were going somewhere with this, like they'd activate Peacock Powers at the end when they recognized the compatibility and blue and green. But nope. Wasted potential is an understatement.

Also, where the fuck are they right now? In a previous shot there was Target the Chameleon, implying that they've been to Madagascar, but that is an Indian peafowl, and as far as I'm concerned, they don't live in Madagascar. Were they just having an off-day? These animals have little to nothing to do with the plot when they really shouldn't have, so I don't see why they couldn't have just shown a projector image or something.

Remember when I joked about the Wild Pony Power Suit returning in S7.... fuck you Apollo.

Man, they are eating it up with the animation here. It's hard to tell with screengrabs but man, is it fluid.

The first half of this episode is mixed. While it feels like the brothers are incredibly stubborn, it also does make sense for them to be this fixated on their favorites. So I can totally buy this. It could've been insufferable to watch, but it wasn't.

As if YOU haven't spied on them since the first time your dorito-headed ass showed up on screen

Did you find that funny? Because not only do they do a similar joke like that later on, but they follow through on that joke in the most unexpected way you will shit your pants when you first ingest it.

Oh my god if they make a Creature Power Suit off of that bird, I will take back any diss I've made, that is so beautiful.

Good to know that Aviva put the button near the chest and not near the back.

Maybe it's just me but this is kinda pushing it. Chris is literally getting his organs crushed, I think that should matter more than A) being right or B) trying to get 2 people to stop fighting.

I'm loving the callback and what this leads up to but ew, all this does is remind me about how ugly bright the color pallatte in S6. Really glad they fixed it in S7.

HELL FUCKING YES

This episode finds really unique ways of showing how the two different biomes are interconnected. It's like Rainforest Stew's (very brilliantly handled) message only to a larger degree. Kids can learn a lot from this.

I fucking love this episode, man.

Honestly, the way they write Paisley in the first half of the episode is very in-line with her character. Most shows that do what this episode does has them be out-of-character as a set-up, but here, she's just roasting the fuck out of Zach. Once again, recontextualized entirely in the climax.

HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET TO MADAGASCAR FROM THE GODDAMN AMAZON IN ONE AFTERNOON THAT IS LIKE MORE THAN 1,000 MILES AWAY?? ARE ANACONDAS THAT FAST?????

Also, INDRIS!!!!! :D

I was frankly expecting this to horribly backfire but spoilers, it doesn't. This actually winds up working. Common Aviva W.

To be continued.... will the blue and green rivalry end? Will one prove superior over another? And will they be able to stop Zach and Paisley and save the planet earth? And will this change the adventures of the Wild Kratts team forever? Stay tuned for part 2!

Pros:

The live action segments.

The animation of the earth's model.

The musical number not being ass.

Paisely's catty behavior.

The Anaconda Suit.

The inventive ways they show how the stability of the Earth is complex. There are a lot of ways it functions and thus a lot of ways it needs to survive

The comedy.

Cons:

The villains do not do anything until the second half of this episode. In fact, they're left completely in the backdrop. I expected them to make their prescence known and for Aviva to invent the discs to get them together for the SAKE of fighting the villains. But no. It makes the stakes feel hollow, which is the opposite of what they should be gunning for in an hour long special that they hype the shit out of.

CONCLUSION:

It was an "okay" set-up. It did live up to some of the hype it had, but not all of it. Honestly if it wasn't for the second half of this episode, this movie would be mediocre or slightly above average, but no. They do pick themselves off the ground and... they do jump the shark. But we'll get to that next time

[dawningday84]

A fun little fic to make you smile. 10 year old Sherlock mid bee experiment, and a grumpy 17-year-old Mycroft with allergies. What's not to love?! 🤣 (Contains my OC character, Eva — middle Holmes sibling. I've removed the AI generated picture, as it has led people to assume that the story is also. It is not. I put a lot of love and work into my writing and love these characters 💔)

Conversation stopped as they entered the kitchen. Triumphantly poised atop a kitchen chair, ten-year-old Sherlock's face held the unmistakable glow of a scientist on the verge of a tremendous discovery

In one hand he clutched a tablespoon. Holding it aloft, he used this to meticulously smear something over the kitchen lightbulb. A glutinous substance oozed down the handle, dripping slowly onto the kitchen floor.

Eva stared, slack-jawed, attempting to assign reason to the scene unfolding before her. Finding none, she gave a small helpless shake of her head and turned – wordlessly – to Mycroft.

Mycroft was edging nearer to Sherlock, eyes fixed on the spoon, an expression of dawning comprehension on his face – unshared by his sister.

Eva watched her elder brother’s eyes widen in realisation – his shoulders tensed. All of a sudden, he ducked – eyes frantically scanning the room as though expecting imminent fire.

Then she heard it. A faint, gentle humming – growing gradually louder.

Her eyes slid sideward towards the open window.

“Sherlock...” She began.

His face was alight with excitement.

“It's working!” He cried excitedly. “Listen! They're coming!!”

The horrified realisation grew in Eva like a slowly spreading heat.

“Sherlock – have you let bees into the house??”

He waved the spoon in the air enthusiastically, like a conductors baton.

“Not let – ” he corrected, “invited!”

Feet frozen in place, Eva's eyes found Mycroft’s. Simultaneously, their eyes travelled towards the open window and back to each other. Understanding shot between them –the unspoken question clear.

Is there time to shut the window?

Even as the question formed, the first few bees drifted lazily through the window pane.

Eva just had time to state the obvious — but none the less key point.

“Sherlock, Mycroft is allergic to bee stings!”

Before an ominous, buzzing cloud raced into the sunlit kitchen, causing Mycroft to back against the far wall, in soundless horror.

Sherlock let out a triumphant whoop, clapping his hands together delightedly, his eyes wide with excitement.

Automatically, Eva moved sideways, positioning herself slightly in front of Mycroft. Snatching a tea- towel from its hook, she brandished it like a whip in front of her. Mycroft’s hand — buried in his pocket — clutched tightly around his epi-pen.

“Don't worry,” Sherlock told them — entirely unconcerned. “They will only sting if you provoke them. Besides,” he added, with a brief nod towards Mycroft, “he has an epi-pen.”

The look Mycroft bestowed on him was equal in its incredulity and exasperation.

“That does not mean I've made my peace with anaphylaxis, Sherlock! It simply means that — despite your best efforts to the contrary — I am marginally less likely to die!!”

“Oh don't be so dramatic,” he responded, dispassionately.

At any other time, Eva might have been tempted to point out that neither she nor Mycroft were currently standing on a chair exuberantly conducting a swarm of bees with a honey-covered spoon... but there seemed more pressing matters to attend to.

The bees — no doubt disoriented by their new kitchen residence — were behaving increasingly erratically. The swarm — reasonably small in size, Sherlock assured them, consisting of only around 10,000 bees — bounced unpredictably off of walls, cupboards and kitchen surfaces.

“If I die here Sherlock —” Mycroft vowed murderously, cautiously edging his way along the wall, “I will haunt you. I swear to you, I will find a way!”

Sherlock ignored him. A number of bees had landed upon the honey-coated lightbulb, which immediately drew his attention away from his brother’s threats and onto more important matters.

“See!” He exclaimed, enthusiastically, “I was right! They’re responding to food and light source.”

Peering intently at the two-dozen or so bees that had settled there, he —inexplicably — began circling his hips in a figure-of-eight pattern, pausing only to wiggle side to side.

Eva — rendered temporarily speechless — watched him through the swarm of bees, wondering how this had become her life.

“It's called a waggle dance,” Sherlock answered, in response to her quizzical gaze. “Bees use it to communicate when they've found a food source —”

“You're not a bee, Sherlock!” Eva shouted — her tolerance hanging by a thread — “You’re a LUNATIC!”

Mycroft, meanwhile, was busy scanning the exit points like a general assessing a battle scene. Seeing both doors and the window still covered in bees, he sank slightly down the wall.

“Sherlock,” he began, “know this. If I survive this, I am going. To. Kill. You.”

Still waggling, Sherlock tilted his head fractionally.

“Statistically,” he replied, “my odds of surviving this outnumber yours.”

Mycroft’s reply was not meant for 10 year old ears, though — mercifully — the sheer volume of the buzzing bees meant he didn't catch all of it.

The bees, it transpired, were beginning to adjust to their kitchen environment — their flight patterns less unpredictable, more and more were starting to settle on the lightbulb. Sherlock, of course, was delighted.

“Look!” he exclaimed happily, pointing with his spoon and flicking honey everywhere. “They're establishing a flight path!”

Eva was done.

“Right!” she snapped, brandishing the tea towel, grabbing Sherlock by the arm and dragging him off the chair. “Enough! Get them out!”

Landing on his feet, like a cat, Sherlock looked up into Eva's face — his expression thoughtful.

He blinked.

Eva’s fingers flexed.

“Please tell me,” she said, in a voice of forced calm, “that somewhere in the planning stage you considered how you’re getting them to leave.”

He quite clearly had not.

Pressing his lips together, his brow furrowed for just a moment then his face suddenly glowed with inspiration and he bounded towards an opposite window. Flinging it open with a dramatic flourish, he pointed the spoon towards the gap, as though directing an army.

“Exit route established! Fly forth my sisters!”

Nothing happened.

“That's your grand plan??” Eva shrieked. “Open a window and bid them good-day?!”

A puzzled crease formed on Sherlock's brow. His arms extended slightly from his sides, palms up, in a gesture of mild bewilderment.

“They're highly intelligent creatures,” he replied, defensively. “I assumed that they would gather their data and leave.”

“They're not data analysts, Sherlock!” Mycroft shouted from his position against the wall. “They're bees!!”

“I think they're settling,” Eva cut in, her eyes on the ever increasing swarm jostling for position on the lightbulb. “My,” she looked to her brother, “I think we need to try and get you out.”

“Yes,” he agreed, faintly — his face rather white.

“Move slowly,” Sherlock advised, helpfully. “If you startle them you'll trigger their defensive response and the entire swarm will target you.”

“Yes, thank you, Sherlock!*” Mycroft responded bitingly. “Most helpful.”

The savage irony was lost on his brother, who gave the self-satisfied nod of someone who clearly felt he'd been supremely helpful.

Slowly, keeping his back to the wall and his eyes on the bees, Mycroft edged towards the back door. A few stray bees still flitted around the room; his fingers tightened around the epi-pen in his right hand. Eva hardly dared to breathe as — ever so cautiously — he reached for the handle, inching the door open. As soon as the gap was wide enough to permit a person exit, Mycroft fled as though propelled from the room, leaving the door open behind him.

Sherlock watched him in perplexed judgment.

“He's hugely overreacting. His own panic is statistically the greatest risk factor in the room.”

“And nothing to do with the 10,000 bees you invited for breakfast?!!” Came a incensed voice from outside.

Three hours later, the bee-keeper informed an incredibly disgruntled Mrs Holmes that her kitchen was now bee free.

Sherlock had been dragged off by their father for ‘words’ and Mycroft — who had set up camp on a garden chair outside — was flatly refusing re-entry of the building.

“I will take my chances in the insect-infested garden thank you very much,” he told his mother, whose initial sympathy and understanding was draining exponentially with each failed attempt to get him to return to the house.

With a huff of impatience, she returned to resume the removal of honey from the kitchen light and surfaces.

Mycroft watched her go, his face impassive, when there was a gentle nudge on his shoulder. He started slightly, fingers still clutching the pen, to see his sister standing there.

Eva gave a reassuring smile.

“Here —” she said, holding out a cup. “I've brought you tea. And — She continued, “biscuits.”

The corner of her mouth drew up slightly in a mischievous smile, a slight twinkle in her eyes as she slid him the pack of chocolate bourbons.

“Thought you'd need supplies of the essentials if you're out here for the long run.”

He gave her an arch stare over the rim of his cup, but accepted the biscuits nevertheless.

Pulling up a chair beside him, they sat without speaking, sipping their tea — Mycroft staring fixedly ahead of him, his right hand still clutching his epi-pen.

“Hey —” Eva’s voice was warm. She reached out a hand and placed it lightly over his clenched fist, her thumb lightly stroked his fingers, feeling the grip loosen fractionally.

“Relax,” she told him, kindly. “Operation Bee was a resounding failure and he's being so thoroughly berated in there that I think we have a while before he moves on to wasps.”

He shot her a significant stare, however — upon catching the gleam in her eyes — he felt his mouth twitch in spite of himself. He gave a small exhale of wry amusement and felt the tension in his shoulders disperse just a fraction.

“I was scared,” he admitted.

“10,000 bees and an allergy, My. You'd have been an idiot not to have been.”

A sound behind them caused them both to look around. Sherlock shuffled sheepishly towards them, stopping short when he caught their raised eyebrows — their identical stony expressions.

“Yes?” asked Mycroft, acidly.

Sherlock squirmed under the intensity of the gaze, looking at the ground and scuffing the toes of his shoes against the grass.

“Well —” he began, awkwardly, “If we're looking for a positive, I’ve learned a lot!” He looked up earnestly “If I were to try again —”

Eva threw a well-aimed biscuit at his head, to a nod of approval from Mycroft, who casually returned to his tea.

“One day, sister,” he told Eva later that day, as they watched the sun slowly sink below the horizon, “we may even laugh about this.”

He paused and took a slow sip of his drink.

“But not yet.”

[invye]

How They Met [1/3] - MiShanks

[CoraMiShanks Fix It AU]

I think it's time I write up my thoughts about how exactly Mihawk, Shanks and Rosinante met and outline the start of what will become their relationship. And since I am pathologically incapable of writing short posts, I'll cut it into three, so I can take my time.

Mihawk & Shanks [this post]

Mihawk & Rosinante/Corazón [link]

Rosinante & Shanks [link]

- Mihawk & Shanks -

The first meet in Loguetown, as they so often do. At the point of Rogers' execution Mihawk's exploits have pinged the Marine's radar once or twice, but he has not been given a bounty of his own yet as there were bigger fish to contend with. Mihawk attends to pay his respect to Roger as the Marine's greatest challenger, shoes that he doesn't expect - nor wants - to fill, but will aspire to anyway along his way to becoming the World's Strongest Swordsman.

He doesn't expect the reaction of the crowd to Roger sending them out to find his treasure, given that Mihawk himself doesn't care about treasure at all. Roger hasn't even taken his last breath yet and the pirates of tomorrow are running to be the first ones out at sea. It's a bit disrespectful, honestly. On top of that, crowds really aren't Mihawk's thing. At all. And he didn't bring Yoru (that would only have gone wrong with the amount of Marines all around), so while he's desperately trying to keep his cool and get out of the crowd's way, his mind is growing increasingly more frantic.

That is until he quite literally stumbles over Shanks. Mihawk recognises him immediately (really, it should be illegal to give minors bounties, no matter what crew they belong to), red hair, strawhat, planted like a rock in the moving crowd, the only person in sight to actually shed tears. Mihawk blessedly stops thinking (panicking) and instead starts acting. Grabs the kid, who no doubt would be the Marine's first target three minutes from now, and gets them the hell out of there, leading them away from the port instead of toward it.

They don't talk as Mihawk ducks them into an alley when the Marines start running by. It's not the best hiding spot, but with Mihawk playing up the bored noble act, shielding Shanks from direct view, its enough that the Marines don't look twice and keep going. Mihawk ends up handing Shanks his handkerchief, faintly hears himself giving a platitude about Roger having been a great man, and once things calm down he makes his exit, without looking back even once.

In the months following after, Mihawk is one of the many many new pirates who receive bounties during the rush onto the Grand Line. Shanks is elated when he finally gets to put a proper name to the man who helped him instead of thinking of him as Hawkeyes (he likes Hawkeyes though, and that nickname might already be stuck given how much he has asked around for him... Whoops).

Mihawk doesn't care for his bounty. Doesn't care for being a pirate either, but there's plenty strong people to fight among the pirates now, and a high bounty does attract interesting challengers... Also he does still have some unfinished business with the Marines, so.

Mihawk's bounty skyrockets as he's given the Marine Hunter epithet. Shanks turns around to newly recruited Benn and says: "This is gonna be our swordsman!" and Benn can't do anything but raise his eyebrows in open questioning of Shanks' sanity. Then again, he doesn't follow Shanks because he thinks he's sane.

It takes another year for Shanks to track Mihawk down. It really wasn't an easy task with how Mihawk seems to just go wherever the wind takes him, but he finds him none the less.

"Hawkeyes!!" Shanks yells (and Mihawk has a sudden epiphany about where that epithet came from, because he's heard it being whispered behind his back, but no one has used it to his face yet), "Join my crew!!!" "No." "Why not?" "There's nothing a crew could offer me." "I want you to be my swordsman though." "You carry a sword of your own." "You're better." "Obviously. I'll be the World's Strongest Swordsman before long." "See! That's why I want you on my crew!" "No." Had Mihawk known Shanks a little better at that time, he would have been worried about the sudden silence and the contemplating look on Shanks face. But he didn't, so he simply turned to leave. Then: "Will you join me if I beat you?" And Mihawk can't help but laugh.

They do duel after that. Mihawk thoroughly unites Shanks' behind with the sand under their feet. Shanks is weaker than him, a little off balance (might be the recent growth spurt [actually is mostly due to Shanks being flustered at realising he really likes Mihawk's laugh]), but his technique loudly speaks of his upbringing. It's exhilarating. There is a telling spark of Haki that Shanks is actively holding back and Mihawk can't wait to see what he can do when he decides to fully unleash it. Mihawk ends the duel by telling Shanks to keep up his training and try again a couple months from now.

Shanks is back the next month. He still loses, but from then on the duels are a regular thing, only becoming more frequent until there is barely a week going by in which they don't cross blades.

When Shanks eventually manages to eek out a win (by going all in with his Conqueror's Haki rather than his swordsmanship), he doesn't ask Mihawk to join the crew again. They've already long understood that if Mihawk ever is to join, he will do so on his own time and volition. Until then they will have their duels.

(Shanks is working on making Mihawk stick around for drinks every now and then, it's only a matter of time.)

[dalliansss]

Aegnor – Egg, wanders from Dorthonion to Dor-lómin and back without a warning, without fanfare. Such has always been his way even in Valinor, as a young elf, bouncing happily from his hanno’s house to Fingon’s. It has become such a commonplace thing that Egg has come to have a room always reserved for him at Fingon’s house – may it be in Aman, or here in Beleriand.

But today is special, because today it is the other way around – meaning, it is Fingon who visits him in Dorthonion, and they meet up by the shores of Lake Aeluin. When Egg gets there, Fingon is already there and by the looks of it, he has been there for some hours. His horse is wandering around, nibbling grass; a campfire burns merrily, a tent pitched, and Fingon himself is sitting by the lakeshore, breeches hiked up, and his bare feet dipped in the crystalline waters. His boots lay discarded near the campfire, as is his traveling cloak.

But the very best part: Fingon has freed his hair from its gold-twine braids, and currently his lush curls sway in the highland breeze, bringing a hint of his perfume– and Egg breathes deep.

“Finno!” He calls, already getting off his horse and letting the animal join Fingon’s. Egg jogs toward his great love.

“Egg,” Fingon greets, looking up just as Egg skids to a halt beside him. “Good morrow.”

Ah, ah! Look at those cheeks! That hair! Those dimples! Egg feels a warmth bubble in his chest and he leans close to kiss Fingon over his dimples, before kissing his forehead, and also on his nose. Fingon laughs softly under all the kisses. 

“Ai, Aikanár, I’m dusty from the road,” Fingon says.

“I care not!” Egg chirps. He promptly flops beside Fingon and claims the latter’s lap as pillow. He buries his face into Fingon’s middle, just as he feels the older elf card fingers through his flaxen blond hair.

A peaceful silence surrounds them, punctuated only by the chirping of birds and the little scratches of the insects. Somewhere, a dragonfly lands on Egg’s shoulder. 

“How have you been?” Fingon eventually ventures to ask after they enjoy the quiet.

“Well,” Egg answers. He rolls onto his back so he can look up at Fingon properly. “You?”

“Mhm,” Fingon shrugs, peeking down at him.

Egg grins. Pokes one of those dimples. “What does ‘mhm’ mean, Finno?”

Fingon catches his hand and rubs his thumb against the fragile skin of Egg’s wrist. “Mhm means I am well enough, but that the mind is swamped with matters of the kingdom, where I help Atar the most.”

“Nothing too burdensome I hope?”

“None. I can handle it. Just mulling my next steps, this is all.”

“Good!”

Again they lapse into quiet. Egg finds he minds not; he can talk for two, if needed – and between himself and Fingon, they do not need to keep talking all the time. This is more than enough for him– just to be close to Fingon like this. Fingon has never been talkative; the quiet observer in most instances, mulling his thoughts and choosing his words carefully.

Egg brushes his fingertips by Fingon’s jawline.

“Mmm?” Fingon hums, peering down at him again.

“You’re lovely,” Egg whispers, perpetually awed. “The loveliest Elf to ever exist.”

The words make Fingon laugh, his dimples showing. The faintest pink dusts his cheeks. He shakes his head, his curls dancing. “Oh you–. Truly you are Ingoldo’s son. Such a flatterer and charmer like he is. He taught you all his evil ways.”

Egg gives him a cocky grin. And a wink. Fingon laughs harder. Then he shoves Egg off his lap, sending the bigger elf rolling. Egg yelps in offense.

Fingon stands, pulls his arms up in a stretch. Then he begins stripping himself of clothes, until he is only in his breeches, and he runs and dunks himself into the waters of the Aeluin.

Egg scrambles back onto his feet. “Hey! Hey! Let’s have a contest! Swim to the other side of the lake! Loser cooks the midday meal!” And he too, gets out of his clothes until he’s completely naked, and whooping, also jumps into the cool, crystal waters, and he swims after Fingon, who already banked and aiming for the other shore. 

The sun shines serenely on Dorthonion. Egg and Fingon’s laughter and whoops echo amid the silent, peaceful trees, and the highland breeze seems to sigh.

[shirefantasies]

Congrats on 300 followers! You’re definitely one of the best blogs and best writers on this site so well deserved! I wanted to ask if I could get a matchup, I have no preference for lotr or The Hobbit and I don’t have a gender preference either. I have short blonde hair, green eyes and I’m leaning on the chubby or curvy side. I love to create anything and everything, drawing, jewelry making, even tried knitting. I love puzzles, riddles and trivia games too. Besides all that I love to have a special cup of tea at the end of everyday.

I hope you recover well from your surgery and have a wonderful day! 🍄

OMG thank you so much for your amazingly kind comments 🥰 I love being here but words like these are definitely a big part of why I stay. Writing is truly a passion of mine so I’m so happy to hear that!

Also sweetheart I had to match you up with…

Bilbo!

This hobbit never expected to find love outside of the Shire…or at all! But fate has its own plans for us all, hence the hobbit choosing to take the adventure of a lifetime. Maybe after all more than one 😏 Gandalf hadn’t just enlisted one player in the big burglary after all. You were well-studied, clever, crafty, many things needed on a journey like Thorin Oakenshield was embarking on. Bilbo wasn’t looking for love, but when you pulled out your knitting needles what else would you expect?

You’re like a figure from a great Shire tale he’d read with that golden hair and those bright green eyes. Hobbits love curves, too, so you know he is blushing around you! His first questions are anything but forward, though, just wondering where you came from and how you know the grey wizard. Cue stories of the man’s fireworks bursting over the lake! You’ve never visited the Shire, but with every word Bilbo speaks your beautiful eyes widen in wonder and you gush that you’d love to see it and before he can help himself he’s blurting out that he could always show you around there after this whole mess is through. He even finds himself getting quite protective of you, snapping at the dwarves if they say anything that remotely upsets you and finding the courage to draw Sting the first time he sees an orc look your way.

Because you both enjoy riddles and puzzles, whenever you have free time or need to decompress on the road the pair of you find yourselves solving any you have and swapping them back and forth. When Bilbo plucks up the courage, he tells you how much of a comfort you are on this journey; he's spent all this time missing home and yet now he feels like he's found a new one. Somehow even being out in the woods is not so terrible! Your jewelry making is fascinating to the hobbit, so expect lots of questions about the process ranging from is it dangerous to what your favorite gemstone is. Perhaps he is secretly fantasizing about purchasing you a piece for you to keep...

The fact that you both love tea! Bilbo one hundred percent commits your special tea to memory, it does not matter how specific the blend is or if you put an odd amount of anything in it. Both of you could make each other’s perfect cup of tea in the dark. If your tastes are quite different, expect some tittering and head-shaking and general teasing, but you will get what you request every single time.

The look of deep concern in your eyes when the hobbit returns, the way you take him by the shoulders and tell him you thought he was lost, well…let’s just say the emotions get the best of you. Before the orcs catch up the dwarves whoop at the kiss you two yank each other into! When he does use the ring, you can sense the panic striking him when he returns and you go right to him, which he appreciates more than anything. One time you even noticed he looked a bit cold, like all the color was drained from him, so you wrapped him up and let him share in the warmth of one of your handmade scarves…and yourself, of course! He often uses the ‘you look cold’ excuse on you so that he can take your hands!

When the journey is up, all you want to do is go to the Shire, the desire burning in your heart stronger than anything, and who is Bilbo to deny what he also wishes? Years can go by and you never fail to make Bilbo’s heart flutter. The way you pull him into your kisses by his suspenders, the illustrations you add to his maps and letters you surprise him with, inspiring him to do the same. Having a wonderful and creative partner means he can have a cozy life at home in Bag End, yet it is still an adventure every day!

Taglist: @mossthebogwitch @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @kilibaggins @pirate-lord-of-narnia @ibabblealot @joonies-word @stormchaser819 | Reply/Ask/Message to join!

[gloster]

FAVORITE FANFICS OF 2023

We did it. We made it. We made it through the end of 2023, and BOY AM I HAPPY AS HELL TO SAY GOOD-FUCKING-BYE TO IT. I don't know about you guys, but this year- particularly the last quarter- have been a lot to say the least. A lot of headaches, a lot of mental breakdowns, a lot of emotional gymnastics, and more.

But thanks to good friends, good shows, good music, and of course good fanfics I managed to see it through the end.

One of my favorite New Year's Eve's traditions where I do my annually fanfic recs/favorite fanfics of the year. This marks a whooping 5th year doing it, YAY 🎉💃🏿 If interested, check out 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022 lists.

Please know there's no real ranking, despite the number ordering. Loved all these stories listed. Loved all the fanfics writers featured. And of course highly highly highly recommend

Without further ado, here are my favorite fanfics of 2023:

1). Something Good by @no-net-ensnares-me (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: Eager to earn a wage that would provide a more suitable life for her family and prepare for Edwina’s debut in a couple years, Kate accepts a position as governess for the Bridgerton family and moves to London, where she finds herself thrown into the chaos of living with the severe yet handsome Viscount Anthony Bridgerton and his seven siblings.

or

The Sound of Music AU

The Hills are aliiiiiiiiiiiiive with the sound of music/and the feels are FEEEEEEEEEELT with each new chapter. LOL, but all jokes aside, yes it's been a year since we saw our dear Viscount and Viscountess yet I still ride hard for them like it's their season premire all over again. Thanks of course to the awesome fic writers who keep us well-feed as we wait for season 3, such as this gem right here

Seriously, I cannot stress how insanely good this was. A good retelling where you see elements of Sound of Music while also being its' own thing. The longing, the longing between Kate and Anthony is so good. READ IT.

2). A Devil's Love by FormerlyIR (Irony_Rocks), Irony_Rocks (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: When Kate's sister goes missing, she gets herself a waitress job at the Pebble Lounge to track her down, working under London’s seedy underbelly to find the only person she has left in this world to love. And Anthony Bridgerton? No matter how alluring and distracting he may be, he’s just a means to an end, his life defined by his family business built on corruption.

Kate won’t dance to that tune. She’s just trying to find her sister.

Two in a row. A win for kathony/kanthony. Where the first one for the most part is cozy and light, this one is dark. Not surprising since this story, according to the author, was inspired by the 2022's The Batman, focusing on the electric dynamic between our favorite Bruce and Selina Kyle. Or rather in this AU, the dynamics between a dangerous mob boss and a woman going undercover as a waitress to figure out what happened to her sister.

It's got everything. Protective/possessive Anthony. Stubborn, witty Kate. Great sexual tension. Fair warning, there is an unplanned pregnancy so keep that in mind. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride

3). Intent to Cherish by iffervescent (kinn x porsche)

Summary: A mouthy beta runs off with Kinn's watch. He goes to get it back.

4 chapters this story is. 4 chapters of hilarious back and forth. 4 chapters of Porsche keeping that stubborn streak in tact with Kinn trying to chip his way through. 4 chapters we get to watch Porsche go from intriguing thief, to Kinn's employee, and finally intended.

This story checks off so many boxes. ABO AU, which is always a favorite. Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy dynamic- never get tired of that. And of course Porsche being spoiled rotten. What more could you want?

4). burnt cotton series by taetaehland (taekook)

Summary: here's a series featuring your favorite bratty taehyung and his whipped husband, jeongguk (plus their adorable pups)

Once again, we got ABO and we so far have 11 stories of it featuring our favorite BTS as they grow more of their little family, grow more in love, and of course Tae growing more crafty and poor Kookie growing more insane. I love it.

Not to mention seeing all the ways Jungkook becomes more and more whipped for his husband is just the icing on the cake.

5). 'Tis a Far Better Thing by @the-sinking-ship (drarry)

Summary: 'Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people — or however the Muggle saying goes — because Potter is in need of professional help, and Draco is just the man to give it to him.

A Drarry Clueless AU.

Sometimes you come across two things, such as two fandoms that on the surface seem so far farfetched until one ambitious fic writer creates a story that combines elements of the two and creates a wonderful gem of a story. Which is exactly what happened here.

Draco Malfoy and Cher Horowitz are so much alike, it's not even funny. Thus enhancing my enjoyment for this story to outright love love loving.

Again, elements to a famous story that brings on the nostalgia and enjoyment while also being it's own fresh spin. Plus FASHION. Draco as a Fashion Designer with Harry being his newest client. Along with Draco massively simping- always a win in my book.

6). Tracklist by Mia_Moon (sukuita/sukuIta)

Summary: Singer Sukuna x Fanboy Yuuji

Where they do kinky stuff together first and then get to know each other later.

Sometimes you have that fandom with an OTP that's set and your loyal ride or ship. Then there are other fandoms, where you love most of the characters, see the chemistry between them, love the dynamics, and it's fair game for shipping season. Jujutsu Kaisen is one of those fandoms, and sukita/sukulta was one of those ships that I just ended up falling in love with it.

Listen. Listen. Listen. I know the synopsis just give smutty smutty good time, but you get that and MORE.

What more you say be asking? Well, for starter our dear boy Yuuji who gets spoiled rotten, pampered, and yes, also gets sexed up 7 ways to Sunday- featuring some of the hottest smut I've read so far might I add. Mia_Moon did their thing, and I definitely will be reading more of and more of their works.

I don't know why to explain it, but there's something about a celebrity AU, where we have one half of the ship be this famous celeb and the other being this outsider getting pulled into their world. I ate it up every single time.

7). I'm Only Going to Heaven (If it Feels Like Hell) by stereobone (eruri)

Summary: "Are you saying you want to be my sugar daddy?" Levi says.

This story, I kid you not, came at the best timing, especially as I still try to untangle my very tangled feelings regarding the final season of Attack of Titan. But one positive that came outta it was my ulitmate love for Levi Ackerman, along with rekindling my love for eruri.

Good to note, one of the quickest quickest ways for me to immediately read a fanfic is if I see the keywords: Sugar Daddy.

What can I say? It gets me everytime. And this one was no different. This story not only came to my radar at the perfect time, but it also was just so damn perfect. So damn good. And of course had me looking through whatever other eruri stories the writer had under their belt.

8). Minor Family Supremacy by @yoonmoonbii (vegaspete, kinnporsche,payurain, prapaisky)

Summary: Like Vegas, Venice Theerapanyakun was born into a dangerous world of crime and power plays. And unlike Vegas, he is well protected by his family who shelters the little boy and spoils him to the core. However, in a day like every other, Venice is kidnapped.

Oh dear lord, where do we begin with this one? Well, much as 2023 was a hot flaming mess, it also became the year of Love of the Air (my new comfort show) and Kinnporsche. For not only me but also for my dear friends @littlenightdragon & @kila09. And what does one do after getting into a new show/fandom? Find fanfics to satisfy the fangirl cravings.

Minor Family Supremacy, or as me and @littlenightdragon often like to call it, the Minor Family Saga was the fanfic for us. And deliver what we needed after finishing Kinnporsche and wanted more of Vegas, more of Pete, and see the other side of the Minor Family.

This one, massive massive props, praise, and all the kudos for @yoonmoonbii for putting this series together because wow. Series starts off with Payu aka Venice as a kid, best friends with his cousin Prapai, being protected by his loving parents until one day changes their dynamics forever- and further widen the gap between the two . But quickly as each story goes on, the two find themselves being more aware of their positions, the complicated histories of their families, and how to stay on course of their own lives without falling into the trappings of Korn's narcisstic chesse game.

It's that good. Each story is like a TV season to the vegaspete spin-off we were so badly owed and sadly weren't granted.

9). Haute Couture, Mon Amour by @goldentruth813 (sheith)

Summary: When a scruffy stranger walks into Mamora Designs, personal shopper Shiro decks him in finery instead of sending him away. Little does Shiro know there’s more to this man than meets the eye and while trying to give him a picture perfect moment he just might find his own instead.

When it comes to @goldentruth813, you can count on several things. Amazing sheith stories. Incredible moments that will make your heart swoon or flutter (depending on the rating). And of course for Shiro to be spoiled rotten and given more depth than the show did.

This one, one word: FASHION. Fashion, fashion, with a lot of a Cinderella-ish vibe, only slightly if you catch it.

Honorable mention:

Wishing on a Frat Boy

10). He's The Bride by @sashadistan (tododeku)

Summary: Fae Prince Shoto has been waiting his whole life to marry his betrothed. As it turns out, a few interesting details were lost in translation, but Shoto still thinks his bride is worth the wait.

Oh @sashadistan, how I adore thee. For the way you just drop these amazing stories for us peasants, feeding us with wonderful content one story at a time. I always love your stories whether it's sheith, tododeku, and more.

This one was no different. This story has everything I could want: Fae Shouto, possessive Shouto, body worship, Izuku being his stuttering and flustering mess, and arranged marriage.

If y'all told me 5 or so years ago, I'd get into arranged marriage, I would have been dumbfounded. Or wonder if you were trying to be funny. Now? I love it. Just goes to show that sometimes it takes a good writer to make something you don't like a win in your eyes.

And now for the Honorable Mentions that were insanely good but due to time & length, couldn't go into full depth:

Just Breathe by @icecream-suga (2 part series w/1st part focusing on yoonmin & the 2nd on taekook; gangsters, drugs, gunplay, OH MY. So goooooood)

Right at Home by cmere (firstprince, alex x henry; grad students in a non-royal AU, fake-dating, and hijinks)

Hair Ribbons and Silk Ties by writer_of_passion (tiana x nanami/tianami; loving husband goes bonkers seeing his wife's curls loose and it GOES DOWN, so so so good)

Bedroom Hymns by Writcraft (drarry; daddy kink w/dom & sub undertones, insanely HOTTT)

Like, Comment, and Romance by @xskyll (tododeku; Youtuber Deku, pro-Hero Shouto, mutual longing and pining wrapped in a insanely fun read)

And there you have it. As usual, thanks to the awesome fanfic writers who do what they do. Fanfics, literally, is the only thing keeping us sane. And please check out all these stories.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS

[infoglitch]

My very bad takes on rwby ships (the well known ones atleast. And yes most are jaune)

(i do not represent anyone except myself so do not judge others based on me because if you do. That's YOUR problem. Not the peoples you think I represent)

Hoi! I think its time I get crucified. Kidding obviously. This community isn't completely toxic, that much is obvious. Now let's get the obvious ones out the way

Bmblb.

Ok... time for the one I don't wanna touch because I don't have nice things to say.

Ok first. I don't mind this ship. Wanna get that out of the way because unlike most would assume. I don't hate or love this ship.

BUT. I got problems with how it was made fucking cannon. First off, fuck you rt and your "from the beeginning". I don't fuckin care how much you try to cover your incompetent asses. If the pants don't fuckin fit. Don't fuckin wear them!

Second. There was no real build up (you can argue there was. But it wasn't good. Anyone could have done a better job than rt). The only real thing that could "prove" this was planned was that yang "flirted" with Blake. Now you might be saying-

"oh but she explained her trauma to Blake that clearly means shes interested in her" in which. NO. Yes this moment is VERY good basis to build off these twos dynamic. And if rt kept building onto this by having yang slowly break down Blake's wall before eventually getting her to open up, I would be applauding rt for it, hell I would be a fan of it probably because for these two, it fuckin works! Blake clearly is alot more reserved and is rather prickly meanwhile yang is the rambunctious, ass-whooping, badass, and overall awesome ball of joy (sounds weird saying especially since yang is my favorite character). yet rt dropped the fuckin ball the moment sun showed up. Now I love sun and i enjoy black sun. But for the love of GOD if this shit is from the beginning than this clearly proves it was fucking not!

After volume three who did blake spend most of the time with in menagerie and rt was clearly trying to push? Not bmblb! BLACK-FUCKING-SUN. Let's give a round of applause to RT for making the dumbest decision of saying bmblb was planned from the start because bitch it was not.

And what did we get for yang. Oh only her trauma from one losing an arm and the fact she has PTSD from it. Oh yeah let's not forget the fact yang had ABANDONMENT ISSUES. Yet the moment her and Blake meet back up suddenly it doesn't fuckin matter because Weiss managed to somehow fix it by telling yang that Blake had suffered as well (i know that's not exactly what happened but point is I fuckin HATE the scene where Blake rejoins the team and yang is just "OK! I totally still don't have problems with the fact you left me and the team at both my and our teams lowest moment." Personally fuck you rt)

.....where was I again? Oh yeah rwby ships. So before I fuckin lose it at rt's incompetence at story telling, developing a romance and character building- let's move on to..... whiterose.... SON OF A BIT-

Whiterose

Look does the fact I don't care for BB and the fact I hate white rose with such a burning passion make me look like a misogynistic homophobic asshole a bad thing? Yes. But I just can't enjoy this damn ship because I just find it so FUCKING BORING!

I get it, it's "opposites attract". But I just don't care because this is so boring and basic that I can't even be glad a gay ship is actually popular instead of the same boring straight pairings.

I don't care if ruby could help Weiss be less of a bitch. Because that troop has been done to fucking DEATH.

There's not even the fact that it be a middle finger to Weisses dad because guess what he's already got his comupance and is also you know, FUCKIN DEAD. There's no satisfaction from any of this ship for me. Is it a bad ship? Fuck no we aren't even going to cover THAT!

But do I like this ship and hope it'll be cannon? No. And if it is? I won't care and I'm not even gonna celebrate it. You can take a fat piss on my grave before I say whiterose becoming cannon is the only option.

Now what ship is next- oh. Oh no. It's the ship everyone enjoys.

Arkos

Look I'm already gonna get fuckin crucified for my opinion of WR and BB. I don't feel like pissing off even MORE people!

... ok fine I'm saying my opinion.

I don't care for this ship. I don't care for pyrrha and I'm actively glad she is dead.

I won't even elaborate because this ship is dead and will gladly piss on its grave.

Rest in piss arkos. Overrated as fuck!

Next up is... rose garden. Finally a ship I dont mind supporting... but also... one thats gonna be hard to say

Rose garden

Look... their just fuckin cinnamon rolls and I love it!

"but you hated arkos yet both jaune and pyrrha were cinna-"

Uhp! No! None of your bullshit. But I will explain.

I don't care for arkos because I don't care for the fact pyrrha has no development. Not even a personality. She was always "the one girl that has feelings for jaune" which don't get me wrong, jaunes one of my favorite characters but I prefer the character he would be shipped with are actually characters and not... cardboard.

Now thankfully Oscar does not suffer the same fate. He's not infatuated with ruby, he is just a "kid" who just found a wizard stuck in his head and now he's off into a war he never knew about. He was timid (batshit terrified even) and yet when he sees the courage shown by the cast he slowly tries to be like them. with the moment between ruby and Oscar being a moment I fuckin love. Oscar is being honest and asking ruby why, why does she keep fighting? Keep marching into a unknown war that could very well kill her. And ruby simply answers by admitting she Is aware she might die, she even lost good people during the fall of beacon but she kept going because she wanted to be a huntress, she wanted to HELP people.

One of the many reasons I love rose garden is because these two fuckin dorks grow WITH each other instead of the simple "oh I'm the love interest of the main character I'm gonna be a cardboard cutout of the character I should be!".

I can't put it into proper words but I just love rose garden.

Whiteknight

Wait... are we actually talking about white knight and not another ship that I probably don't care about and get crucified because of them?

FUCK YEAH!

Gentlemen and ladies. I am proud to say I am whiteknight trash because damnit I love this ship.

I will say it now this ship is the shit that gives my Tumblr account LIFE. And like rose garden I can't even find words to describe how this ship makes me my brain go up with dopamine. This ship is just my favorite ship. Weiss and jaune have had so much buildup. Starting with jaune being a idiot and trying to flirt with a very much more cold Weiss (HA) To Weiss laughing at jaunes reaction to his voice after the high of depression that was V9! The little smile jaune had as he heard Weiss giggle. To the mother fuckin mature scene that has skyrocketed to memehood! I just love this ship because it is just everything I want out of a romance subplot!

Knightshade

Oh... oh we already at some.... unpopular ships.

Now this isn't exactly ship related as pyrrha was to arkos but I just don't like Blake, so you might be thinking "oh then you must hate knightshade". Well..

You.

Are.

WRONG!

I don't know why I like it I just like knightshade. It's cute, it's got enough crack to make it a crack ship, and the memes! The. Fuckin. MEMES.

God I love knightshade.

Knightfall

So... how do I say this?

I love this ship. Not joking I love this. I'd be peeved if this became cannon but as syndrome once said

"OH COME ON! YOU GOTTA ADMIT THIS IS COOL!" (Man was a salty man and died like a BITCH)

As to why?

The

Fuckin

ANGST!

I could write an entire fanfic of jaune and cinder fighting each other for days on end until jaune fucking loses but instead of killing him cinder just lets him live. To continue to fight as she gets some sick enjoyment from the attention.

That's all. (Also cinder please choke me with your thighs-)

[GLITCH HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED.]

Alright I'll behave. No thirsting, now onto.... Lancaster.... you know I can't tell if I want to be killed or be celebrated as a fuckin gift because this list is bizarre as fu-

Lancaster

.... where do I begin?

Ok I should probably state this now. I love this fuckin ship despite how... cliche it really is. I want these two dorks to be fuckin happy but I just can't say whole hearted this is my otp. It's just not for me, I'm sorry. But as you all know I have written.. some.. Lancaster fanfics (I am absolute jaune shipper trash, you can Bury me before I say any jaune ship is terrible except THAT! Even arkos ain't bad just overrated!)

But... yes I like this ship that why I'm writing fanfics in the first place I like alot of jaune ships (despite how much I hate THAT!) Because we'll most female characters that I pair with jaune have atleast some form of interaction. (Except silent knight. I just like that one because I like the "small murderous and tall gentle" dynamic. But we aren't covering silent knight.)

Now thats all I could say for Lancaster but there's one more sister that I wanna talk about but first.

For runner up on this list. Drum roll please.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Thank you-

.....

Huh I guess that drummer wasn't as dumb-

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Ok fuck you, your fired!

Now for runner up on this list (mainly because I like it but I don't have much to say-)

Martial arcs

(ha bet y'all rat bastards weren't expecting me to list a gay ship that I liked.)

Now all I have to say is.

🎶let them be fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!~

OH YEAH!🎶

Now onto... my favorite one thats not white knight. The one, the only, the truest form of "what the fuck is glitch snorting"-

Dragon slayer

This is the one ship that has continued to be a ship I love dearly.

To me yang and jaune feel like they would be each other's wing(wo)man and would just be an ride to watch.

There wasn't even any evidence in why this ship could happen. But I still love it. Y'all can call it "just a write inserting themselves as jaune" but let me say this.

Dragon slayer is the Pinnacle of the most wholesome moments! Not even Lancaster can compare to the intimacy of this ship and yes! I AM TALKING OUT OF MY ASS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS STUPID SHIP AND AINT NO ONE TELLING ME I SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

....

Ok I think that's enough talking about Rwby ships for one Day because I've caused three things.

1) probably pissed off arkos, BB, and WR shipers.

2) weirded out quite literally everyone with my batshit insanity.

3) probably started a debate on what I mean when I say "THAT!"

Anyway have a great day/night/or what other time it is bitches, bros, and non-binary rat bastards

I'm off to get crucified because OH BOY did I probably poke the bear.

[t4llhum4n]

So. It's time to fulfill my promise about Porter lmao.

Theory (and spoilers for Vincent and Sam's playlists as well as Sam's bonus scene) will be below the cut.

Well, at least we know now that he isn't Hush's brother.

In all seriousness though, I had no idea how to approach a theory about this guy that hasn't already been shouted from the rooftops on tumblr. So, I started with the bonus scene, and upon relistening, I heard something that I found.. odd.

Why, and how, was Porter the one texting Sam?

Everyone that I've seen is talking about Vincent and Porter's history (which is something I ended up doing too whoops), so with this, I want to theorize about Sam and Porter's (potential) history. Bear with me, I kind of lost interest in the Solaire's storylines in light of things like the Balance and Carpe Deus, so I might mess some things up lmao.

I've seen, and agree with, the "Porter is Alexis' progeny" theory, at least at its basic level. I do think that Porter was potentially turned by Alexis, hence the "Solaire," but I'm wondering if his situation wasn't closer Sam's than we originally thought. Let me cook real quick.

We don't know how old Porter is. We don't know when Porter was turned. Hell, we don't even know if this guy was empowered or not (different can of worms, I'm putting that aside). All we have is that he uses the last name "Solaire" and that he has Sam's contact information. Admittedly, we don't know much about Alexis past her age, but for the sake of this theory, that's all we really need.

If Alexis has been a vampire for over fifty years, and Sam has been a vampire for under twenty, then that leaves a little over thirty years where Alexis' could've been fucking around and finding out. The thing that people (including myself) tend to forget when thinking about Sam's turning is that Alexis knew how to do it. Sure, it was done to her by William, but we know from the timeline that she was badly injured when she was turned, so she probably didn't learn it just from that first instance. Furthermore, considering that she has been described as "difficult" and "a hellion" along with the fact that she was apparently so awful that William swore he'd never turn another person again, I'm guessing that she didn't study up on vampires and how they work.

So, what else is there? Hands-on experience; the best teacher. Enter, Porter. I'm not going to give an estimate of his age beyond "older than Sam," because an exact number doesn't really matter for this. I am, however, going to do what I do best, and point out parallels that I've noticed. Namely, the parallels between Fred and "Bright Eyes'" turning, and Sam's own experience with turning.

Time for a quick run-down for those who aren't too familiar with the Fred/"Bright Eyes" storyline! Basically, Quinn leaves both Fred and "Bright" on the brink of death. Sam sees Fred, turns him to save his life, and then tells Fred how to turn other people so he can save "Bright," which he does. From there, Sam takes on both vampires as his own, seeing as Fred is too inexperienced with, well, everything, to be a proper Maker. He teaches them for a couple of years, and then lets them go off on their own once he thinks they're ready. And at the end of it all, Fred decides to take Sam's last name.

Cool, great recap, but why am I bringing it up? Well, let's look over to Sam's story real quick. He was turned, though against his will, by Alexis, someone who we can infer isn't responsible enough to be a proper Maker. We know that once William caught wind of the full situation, he took matters into his own hands, separated the two, and set Sam up in a cabin on his own, as per his request. Knowing William, he most likely offered more help, but knowing Sam, he probably declined, and opted to live alone comfortably on the edge of the territory. In both situations, we have someone who can't or isn't a good Maker, and said vampire's Maker taking responsibility for their progeny's progeny.

What if this isn't William's first rodeo with caring for one of Alexis' progeny? What if Porter was one of Alexis' first progeny, with circumstances being similar to that of Sam's turning, and William took him under his wing? The difference this time, though, is that Porter accepted William's offer of more help. Now, this could be because William heard about Porter's situation sooner after it happened, or that Porter was unempowered and had no clue about anything -- either way, this next claim stands. What if Porter took the name "Solaire" from William, not Alexis?

If this is true, it would explain two things; 1) why Porter has Sam's number, and 2) why Porter and Vincent were at odds. The first reason is kind of self-explanatory. If Porter heard about what happened with Sam and Alexis via someone else in the clan and he empathized with it, then he probably would've reached out to offer support. What became of him reaching out could be a number of things, but it ended with the two of them exchanging contact information, and that's why Porter has Sam's number.

Now, on to the rockier claim. Let's start with this: I'm going to say that Porter is older than Vincent. If we run with the assumption that what I said earlier about William and Porter's relationship is true, Porter would've seen William as his true Maker, despite William not being the one to turn him. So, when Vincent gets turned, and William starts devoting his time to him, we can assume that Porter might get a little jealous. And that jealousy grew over time, especially because Vincent kept refusing the help that William was offering. He had the privilege of actually having a good and competent Maker, and he was spitting in his face? If what I theorized about Porter's past is true, then it's natural that that would irk him.

He kept it under wraps, though, and it got easier to tolerate Vincent; especially when he put his pride away and stopped being so difficult. But part of him was always stewing with jealousy. Now, I'm not saying that jealousy is the only reason why Porter and Vincent got into a fight that almost resulted in their deaths. I think that there was something that initiated it. Maybe it was something one of them said or did to the other -- I'm not sure. That being said, whatever it was brought all that jealousy to a head, and that's why they fought.

I don't know though! And I'm more than open to other interpretations. I have a few floater thoughts if we look at Porter in a more sinister light (e.g. Alexis and Porter are close and he got the number from her right before he sent the text), but I hadn't seen anyone make him out to be more sympathetic yet, so I decided to go that route! I hope you enjoyed this mess of a theory, and as always, if you notice any plotholes or have any evidence that contradicts this, please let me know :)

[aceouttatime]

7 and 10 for the shep game? :-)

Thanks for the ask Mars! <33

7. How approachable are they?

-> Pre-Lazarus? He's got a very severe case of resting bitch face, though not much more so than your average traumatized serviceman. I'm tempted to say not very approachable on that front.

He's decent at sussing out people's intentions, but generally gives them the benefit of the doubt, so once he's actually talking with you, he's less 'unknowably annoyed and terrifying.' I've mentioned before that his eyes are unnerving. Both how he's constantly shifting his gaze, like he's checking corners where there are none (whoops, paranoia), and the way that just-too-bright green bores into a guy when he's look at 'em. As far as body language goes, he's partial to leaning against walls and railings like he's cool (back issues) and doing the old 'crossing your arms and jutting a hip' type deal (also back issues).

Post-Lazarus? Downright unsettling, uncanny valley, kind of unapproachable. Even if you didn't know who he was or that he was supposedly missing in action for about two years, he has a presence about him that's not quite right. The angles of his face are too sharp, like the features were meticulously pieced together and ripping along the red-scarred, patch-worked seams of his body. When he moves, he moves like he is overly aware of his body, or like his body isn't in sync with his brain. He seems sensitive to even the lightest touch or sounds outside the range of what his hearing should be. It's most noticeable when he uses his biotics--he hadn't had them before Cerberus' intervention. He's the juxtaposition between a fawn finding its footing for the first time and an old god as assured and aware as the earth beneath its hooves.

'They came back wrong' is my favorite way I've heard Shepard(s) in general described, and that absolutely applies to Sylvan. This post sums up my thoughts so well.

10. How do they handle a teammate being badly injured during a mission?

-> A stranger would be different. Even a squadmate he has been able to stop himself from becoming emotionally vulnerable to, no matter how much he values them, would be different. But if someone close to his heart is injured in a life-threatening way, it impairs his judgement, and he'll take more fire than he should because of it. It can leave other forces vulnerable, and it's not yet been enough to entirely compromise a mission, but enough that his actions don't align with how he acts under other sorts of heavy pressures he's forced under.

It is a weakness that has been exploited, and it is one that has been attempted to be beaten out of him. It's the major one that almost made Nihlus keep hold of his recommendation of Shepard for the Spectres. He had planned to force Shepard to compensate for his deficiency.

Shep's had good conversations with Anderson about it, as the captain has faced similar lapses in judgement. It's a sensitive subject for Anderson too because of his past with Saren and the major difference between their modes of working being their regard for collateral. "That's our humanity, Shepard. You can't change it, I can't change it, shouldn't, really, if we don't want to lose it. It's almost selfish, that we're these vehicles of our own morality; Spectres are not. It's a numbers game for them. For you, now."

It's part of why he keeps up so many walls, and it's a byproduct of Akuze and Virmire and all of the other losses he's faced, but above all, Mindoir.

He's proficient in battlefield first aid, and he will laser-focus on that task if he's in that more panicked mindset. He's followed squadmates into the medbay more times than he should.

[lil-oreo-crumbles]

can you discuss the relationship between Toffee and Seth

Absolutely!! I’d be happy to!!

Normally, I see Toffee and Seth being depicted with a relatively positive relationship. However, I don’t and have never really seen it that way.

The full story is under the cut, but the TL;DR is this: Toffee does not like Seth hardly at all. Seth sees Toffee as his own son and loves him to death, but Toffee cannot stand being “fathered” by him. As far as Toffee knows, he never had a father and Seth was DEFINITELY not his father, and gets so upset when Seth refers to him as “son”.

Despite Toffee not being able to stand him, he can and does acknowledge his great diplomacy skills and that he is the best leader for Septarsis. His beef is a lot more personal. He will admit with no hesitation that Seth would have made a great ruler for Monsterkind and is personally angered and offended just like everyone else about Crescenta’s smear campaign.

Toffee also unknowingly bought into a lot of his ideals over the course of his life, he just adjusted his angle and took different actions into trying to solve the same problem.

It’s a mix of frustration yet begrudging respect for him as the man who took him in after his mother’s death on Toffee’s end. On Seth’s end, it’s praise, adoration, and a very fatherly view he has on Toffee, despite how pissed he gets at a lot of Toffee’s actions over the course of his life (i.e., Comet and his whole embarrassing “Bad Boy” phase).

-

AU Story:

For some context, I may need to explain Seth and his relationship with Toffee’s mother in my AU, Mylanie Ambrose of Septarsis, because that’s where their rocky relationship really stems from.

When Seth took his rightful place as the Supreme Lord of Septarsis (he hates the term King), he completely tore apart the system the previous (very corrupt) ruler (who brought Septarsis into its dark age) had been using for the two-hundred or so years he was in charge, and replaced it with his own system. Part of that system involves a rotating legislation of representatives (a council of sorts) every fifty or so years (can vary and there are exceptions). The Septarians would get restless with the same person in power for the centuries they live, so Seth ensures that there are new faces and new voices. No matter how good of a Supreme Lord or beloved by the people be is, he will never put just himself or his sister Zarina in charge of decision making.

With that said, Mylanie, a dreamer who strongly believes in a future of peace and harmony with Mewmankind in the future, joins the council. She is incredibly passionate and a very loud advocate for peace, catching Seth’s attention. The two form a friendship outside of politics and get along, but they are fiercely on opposite sides when it pertains to the Mewman problem. Mylanie wants to make peace with a future queen while Seth thinks war is one of their only possibilities. Zarina is the awkward middleman trying to find a truce between their fiercely opposed sides.

Seth is decidedly a gay man, but because he’s so deep in denial and closeted he mistakes the thrill and passion he gets from debating her as… romantic feelings (whoops) and starts offering his hand to make her the Lady of Septarsis. She always refuses.

Then Mylanie has Toffee. (His real name is Torrence but I’m gonna call him Toffee for simplicity)

So, essentially, Toffee’s exposure to Seth for his entire early life is through the eyes of his mother and the debates she has with him. He kind of sits back and watches the two of them go at it.

Seth is a lot more of a brute who values a good soldier at this point so he (playfully) critiques Mylanie for not teaching her son any defense skills or anything to do with fighting and instead just lets him “read books and frolic all the time”. He also jokingly teases her for how “girly” Toffee looks/acts (the long hair with flowers/flower crowns and his general soft/shy demeanor). Toffee, despite his young age, is very aware of all of this, along with the courting issue Seth still brings up every once in a while. He can get really protective of her.

But Seth absolutely tried to bond with him… and he considers trying to teach him how to fight “bonding”. Toffee’s not really into the whole war (he IS raised by his mother after all) and doesn’t really reciprocate.

When the Solaria’s situation happens and Mylanie passes away, Toffee is taken in by Seth and Zarina permanently. Seth really steps up and makes an effort to form a bond with Toffee, but he’s grieving really bad and Seth trying to make nice really hits him the wrong way.

While Toffee is friends with Eclipsa, Seth eventually finds out and discourages him from spending anymore time with her, but Toffee refuses to listen to him and still spends time with the princess regardless. He sees Seth as trying to take away the one thing he still has in this world. Seth tries to insist that the Mewmans and the world they’ve created are dark, selfish, and cruel, and Eclipsa is no different. Toffee fights with him on this, but it isn’t until the two friends have their tragic fallout that Toffee admits that Seth was right about Eclipsa and he should have listened to him.

Regardless of Seth being “proven right”, this still doesn’t make Toffee like him. During his bad boy teenage years he’s blatantly disrespectful, haughty, and an overall pain for Seth and Zarina to deal with. However, this is actually when Toffee starts to buy into Seth’s ideals. Toffee is unaware of just how much he’s starting to agree with Seth about his stances on Mewmanity, but his specific issue is on the magic they use. (If you ask him at this stage about it he’ll tell you you’re insane for the suggestion alone.)

Despite his bad attitude, Toffee’s natural talent in leadership and combat causes Seth to favor him a lot. Toffee rises the ranks quickly and becomes increasingly popular amongst the troops and the army. Toffee actually (begrudgingly) accepts advice and one on one training from Seth, which adds to his skill set.

But what Toffee HATES is how much Seth starts “fathering” him. Seth refers to Toffee as his son, and Toffee has to keep reminding him that he is decidedly NOT his son and NEVER will be, no matter how much Seth wants to think so. This ties back to Toffee’s lingering frustration over the whole “courting” he used to attempt with his mother.

When Toffee takes a break from the army to focus on studying Mewmans, magic, and their history, (and calming down and getting out of his weird bad boy phase in the process) Seth begs him to rejoin all of the time. He knows Toffee as a great military leader but Toffee spends most of his time curled up in his room reading into the night (✨insomnia✨) or breaking into Butterfly Castle to borrow more books. They hardly interact during this time.

After his time as a historian, Toffee is compelled to rejoin the army/war effort and moves up the ranks to eventually become the general we know he as. When the invitation comes for Comet’s banquet, Seth decidedly doesn’t want to attend. Toffee overhears and volunteers to go in his place. Seth has one rule: No harm is to come to the queen.

This is where I get to the point where he blatantly disrespects Seth’s instructions: He kills Comet. While decidedly NOT a primary or even important reason why he did it, a small very tiny microscopic part of Toffee did it specifically because Seth told him not to, and Toffee thinks he can handle things on his own.

Well… when Toffee returns to Septarsis humiliated with a missing finger, Seth. Is. Pissed. He KNEW this would do nothing but blow up in their faces and refuses to hear any of Toffee’s rationale for doing it, no matter how valid. He scolds Toffee harsher than he ever has before and blows up at him for this. By the end of the argument, Toffee is sick of and through with Seth and right then and there vows to leave Septarsis and never come back. Toffee does just that.

And… yeah. To be very frank, the relationship very complicated. Toffee can hardly stand him, but also Seth is probably one of his biggest influences at the same time. Toffee respects him as a leader of their civilization and as a diplomat, but has been known to forge his own path and blatantly disrespect his orders if Toffee deems his own ideas better (not ALL of them, Comet is the one notable instance of this). They both want monsters to be vindicated for all of the suffering they’ve been put through, but Seth sees Mewmans as the problem while Toffee sees magic as the problem.

I don’t know if this post fully encapsulates the true dynamic. This is an example of me trying to explain a dynamic that would be much better when I eventually show it… not sure if any post could ever do the story justice… but oh well.

But yeah I suggest keeping in tune. This is the rundown of their dynamic but it’ll be better when they actually interact in the AU itself 🤞