#he has one of those like hand-sewn victorian surgeon's dolls with the removable organs he got at a flea market.
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barty's inscrutability is so funny just because its like. he's winning the repression olympics without even realizing by wrapping his true self away in endless untraversable turns like a conch shell. having a situationship with him is like volunteering to lock yourself in the torture labyrinth bro you are never making it out of there!! you will spend years trying to unravel his feelings and get absolutely nowhere but still constantly feel like you’re on the verge of getting there!!! (reg lived this #survivor)
but just imagine finally meeting the ONE (1) person who has ever managed to lock barty down. and it’s this tiny utterly demented blonde who dresses in lumpy estate sale cardigans and always smells a little bit like formaldehyde and mothballs and the inside of a hearse. he has the thousand-yard-stare and pop culture references of a feral child raised by coyotes because he didn’t have a single interaction with someone his own age (besides his equally strange sister) until he was like 17. he’ll cut you with zero hesitation 🔪. he's the most autistic person youve ever met in your entire life and whenever Notoriously Unattainable™️ Barty Crouch looks at him he’s like please evan let me lay down to be the ground under your feet so you never have to touch the earth again only me forever PLEASE
#for the record i think evan conceals his crush better but he is just as obsessed ok.#he has one of those like hand-sewn victorian surgeon's dolls with the removable organs he got at a flea market.#but he keeps it on his desk and silently pets its hair and pretends it's barty.#pandora walks in on him once and he’s like WHAT. YOU SAW NOTHING. NO YOURE WEIRD!!!!!!!!#t#yeah.#rose & thorn#evan meta tag
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