#he is not immune to cutesy things >:)

[moongothic]

Seen people share their headcanons of what would Luffy call Crocodile if Crocodad was Real, and it did get me wondering

Like on one hand, Luffy has a perfect track-record with respecting trans people and not misgendering anyone, so if Crocodad Real, Luffy wouldn't misgender him

But also, Luffy has two braincells, and having two people to call "dad" would probably be confusing for him. And Luffy doesn't seem like the type of guy who'd either of his parents "Father" either. Canonically Luffy tends to use more affectionate terms for his family, including Dragon despite never having ever met him ("tou-chan", "ji-chan" for Garp, "nii-chan" for Ace. Note the lack of the polite "o" at the begining, and the use of "chan" instead of "san". The take-away here is that he's basically being a bit familiar and kind of affectionate)

And let us not forget, how Luffy loves giving nicknames to people

So it would be perfectly on-brand for Luffy to come up with a new nickname for Crocodile, if only to help differentiate The Dads

(Like yes, Luffy does technically have a nickname for Crocodile already ("wani", lit. "crocodile"), but it's not really an affectionate nickname (or a particularly disrespectful one either, kind of neutral (though calling someone you're not friends with by a nickname is kind of rude)). And while Luffy can and does drop the funny nicknames for people if he decides he likes them enough (see Hammock turning into Hancock, or Luffy learning Bonney's name and using it because he felt bad for her), if Luffy did learn about Crocodile being his other dad and wanted to treat him as such (which he also might not, to be fair)... yeah he could come up with a new nickname)

Now the question just is... what kind of a nickname would Luffy then come up with?

And because I'm a fucking loser with a passion for translation and localization, I'm almost specifically interested in what kind of a nickname Luffy would come up with in Japanese. And partially because, depending on the nickname, it could just be the exact same nickname in English too. Like Luffy's "Yama-o" got localized as "Yamabro" because the "o" (written as 男, lit. "man") needed to be translated and localized for the nickname to hit the same in English. Same for shit like "split head" for Foxy or "giant shallot" for Moria, or "wani" getting localized as "gator" because Luffy calling Crocodile a "crocodile" as a nickname would not make any sense in English lmao

So... a cute nickname that makes it easy for Luffy to call Crocodile his "dad" without it getting confusing with calling Dragon "dad". Maybe something that ties to his name already and preferably rolls off the tongue easily in Japanese... Like we have our Crocodads and Dadodiles but these nicknames are based in English, so they don't roll off the tongue nicely -> Can't imagine Luffy saying either. But... I think the fans are onto something there... There must be a variation of this nickname that would work well in Japanese...

Papadile.

I could see Luffy coming up with a nickname like that. It would roll off the tongue pretty easily. The only counter argument against it I can think of would be that Luffy does not seem like the kind of guy who would call anyone "papa". Like that word does not fit in his mouth.

...Anything else?

Well. I guess there is the third, forbidden option of Luffy calling him "oyaji" ("pops"), much like Whitebeard's crew called their captain too.

But that just leads us to an interesting thought; what the fuck would Crocodile prefer Luffy call him?

I mean this is Sir "Call me what you will" Crocodile, who generally does not seem to care that much about what people call him. Like we could take that and just assume Crocodile would not give a fuck about what Luffy called him, but it's also possible this could be like The One Exception to The Rule. And there's many potential reasons why too

Like there's the practical side of things where it could be a pain in Crocodile's ass if the world found out the two were related, because it'd mean anything bad happening to either one could be used against the other. Someone targetting Luffy could be then used intentionally to target Crocodile and viceversa. As Dragon said, a child is a parent's weak spot after all. So it could still be in Crocodile's self-interest to keep their blood relation a secret. But also; Crocodile had to leave his child behind. Much like how Olvia felt like she had no right to call herself Robin's mom, it'd make sense to me if Crocodile felt kind of the same. That regardless of their blood connection, he had no right to call himself Luffy's father, let alone deserve to be called that after what he'd done to Luffy.

So maybe Crocodile would prefer to be just called by his name. Maybe he'd be satisfied with that. Perhaps being called "pops" would lowkey annoy the shit out of him because it would just remind him of That Asshole Who Took His Hand and beat his ass. Which, y'know, fair. Perhaps "Papadile" would be just a bit too ridiculous and cutesy for him tolerate. And perhaps Luffy calling him "dad" (or "father", or any variation of it) would be a lot more emotionally compromising to Crocodile than he'd like to admit, especially if he believed he would never be called that

But knowing Luffy, if he knows being called "dad" made Crocodile happy (even if he didn't want to admit it), and if Luffy did decide he liked Crocodile/accepted him as his other dad... He'd probably keep on calling Crocodile some variation of "dad", even if he insisted that "Crocodile was fine"

Also worth noting that according to this SBS, if Croc did raise a child that child would use 父上 ("chichiue"), which is quite a formal way to call someone Father

So that would be Crocodile's canon preferred term but god knows there'd be no way in hell he'd be able to convince Luffy to call him that, shit's way too formal for Luffy

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

for the megumi and the world's most inconvenient custody battle, i just head canon geto and gojo screaming at each other in front of kfc (AGAIN) and the conversation goes something like:

Geto: I HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE I HAVE TWINS AT HOME ILL BE A BETTER PARENTAL FIGURE THAN U!

gojo: THATS MY BABY I CHANGED HIS DIAPERS! HE CAME OUTTA MY WOMB! GIVE HIM BACK!

megumi and the kfc workers are so so done someone get these gay men couple therapy pls

i have so normal feelings for ideas i totally dont think about them every single day.

The funny thing is that Megumi actually have no awareness of Gojo at all during the custody battle due to the intricacies of the binding vow (there's a clause where Megumi has to kill himself if Gojo intervenes at all during the span of the agreement. Geto wanted the clause to be that Megumi has to kill his sister, but Megumi threatened to kill Geto and then himself if he made that the clause. Geto doesn't actually want to make Megumi kill himself, it's just a dead man's switch to keep Gojo from swooping in and ending the entire thing prematurely. There's nothing Geto can do to actually stop Gojo, but he can deter Gojo with the consequences of a binding vow which even Gojo cannot break, and he knows Gojo won't actually risk his son, so he'll let the entire thing run it's course naturally). So it's just:

Megumi: *very grumpily going ice skating with Geto's twins because he's under binding vow to play nice and cooperate with the cult members during the terms of the vow*

Geto and Gojo, squatting behind a vendor's cart: *having the world's quietest and most hostile divorcee bitch fight*

[kisses4reid]

hot | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,

sickness, comfort, spencer panicking slightly, ‘i love you’

just a short one to get me out of a slump, it’s cutesy, classic sick comfort fic. v short.

“Honey, you know how many germs I have right now, you really don’t have to be here.” You batted your eyelashes up at him from your deteriorating state on the couch.

Spencer ignored the nickname, or simply didn’t register it in his worry, “The longer you’re sick the more time the virus has to reproduce and evade your dying immune system. I have to learn to deal with it in order for you to get better.” Spencer spieled, pacing in front of you while wringing his hands.

“Spence, I can take care of myself.” You pleaded, more concerned about his comfort than yours.

“But I want to take care of you. I just have to pretend like you’re not sick when you really are. Badly sick. I don’t like it.”

“You don’t like pretending?” Head tilted, you tightened the blanket around your shoulders.

“I don’t like you being sick. I can deal with germs. I investigate dead bodies most of the time, I’ll be fine. You won’t be.”

You smiled, “Wow. Way to kill my immune system’s confidence.”

“Sorry, I’m trying to pep talk you and myself.” He stopped pacing and looked directly at you, regarding your figure with much concern.

“I know. You’re doing well. I already feel better.” You nodded to encourage him. Things like this was new to him, caring for someone he knew would reciprocate, so you didn’t want him to become insecure about it.

“That’s impossible. You’re still,” he places his hand on your forehead and you sniffle, “burning up.”

“Are you saying I’m hot?”

“Temperature wise, yes. And if you’re trying to insinuate me finding you attractive than yes, that too. I just don’t like the word ‘hot’ to describe you.”

“Why?” Your voice is audibly snotty, it makes you cringe.

“Because you’re not a temperature, you’re a beautiful woman. Who is sick, and needs honey tea.” He places a finger on his lips in thought and nods at his own idea.

“Spence?”

His eyes dart up at the sudden use of his name, “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

His anxious motions halted and his ears reddened, he looked down with a tiny smile that hurt your heart with cuteness aggression. You sneezed very loudly, your leg jerking along with it.

“I love you too. Now, I’m making you tea and some noodles. You sit there and look beautiful.”

taglist - @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es @0108s22m @aurorsworld @theoraekenslover @c-losur3 @littlelearningbrat @khxna @laurakirsten0502 @cultish-corner

[bewitched-hours]

Heya!! My request didn't go through last night bc of a power outage...its oki tho

Anyways could I request a jellyfish!reader x shedletsky fic...so basically reader has a stinger that stuns the killers right and while they are just cuddling with Shed their tail stings him we get scared that he would yell at us be he doesn't and says he's fine! I just need fluff in my life 😞🫰 (maybe you could sprinkle some suggestive bits in there...)

Aww, that sounds cute! Although, jellyfish don't have tails so I hope the tentacles/stingers are an okay replacement? (Unless I completely misunderstood this request-) Jellyfish are just silly little creatures (,,> ᴗ <,,) Did you know they can regrow parts of their bodies?

Reader's pronouns will be She/They!

You were less than amused when your calming float In the deep waters was interrupted by a sharp pain before total darkness took your vision.

Not long after had you opened your eyes again to find yourself in a cabin of strangers, offered a change of clothes and helped you dry up. At the time you were perceived as oddly calm and the survivors would just leave you be to sleep when you weren't stunning killers with your stingers and protecting them. It made you tired at first.

But Shedletsky seemed to have taken an interest in you after a while and began hanging around, talking with you and getting you to come out of your shell a bit.

He was how you went from a calm and quiet jellyfish to a loud and joyful one. He helped you develop a personality when all you had known before was the quiet and undisturbed nirvana of the deep dark ocean.

And for that, you were grateful.

Because he showed you there was more to life than darkness and tranquillity. There was fun, connection and thrill to find.

Although you weren't exactly thrill-seeking, you still enjoyed how Shed made rounds feel less terrifying and always managed to cheer you up when you died.

He also helped you figure out that your favourite food was Shrimp. Though your own tentacles were also a tasty snack, since you were surprisingly immune to your own stings. Luckily they grow back...

But because of this, Shedletsky made a habit out of not only getting himself a bucket of chicken but getting you a bucket of shrimp on the side. You didn't know why but you weren't about to question the man bringing you your favourite snack of all time.

Something about the way your tentacles wrapped around his torso in a hugging motion whenever he handed you your blessed bucket was cute to him. Like a silent sign of gratitude from someone he considers a crush friend.

Soon enough, those little hugs turned into full on cuddling as you'd eat your respective choices together. The other survivors saw it as perfect harmony. You two worked together like two peas in a pot. Two mice in a hole, whatever other saying there was to call you two by.

You barely even realized how fast things were moving when Shed asked you to be his girlfriend and had your cabins joined together. No need for a bigger bed though, you seemed perfectly content with sleeping partially on him and he loved having your body relax under his heartbeat.

It was calming, not too cutesy, what more could you ask for?

Well, apparently you had picked up the habit of stinging Shed during nightmares. It was all on accident of course but he would always be up earlier than you to cover the sting marks since they didn't really hurt. Since you weren't consciously stinging him, it felt more like a quick shock of heat than a stunning shock with the might of an electrical fence galore.

But tonight, one of those nightmares had woken you up... And you saw the marks...

"Oh no! Shed- Are you alright?!" You panicked, worrying that he was upset. How long have you been doing this for? Some of those marks seemed almost faded. How was he not upset??

You would barely even let him speak, your anxious thoughts filling your head as you tried to move and grab a hair tie or something to tie your tentacles up and keep them away from Shedletsky.

But he quickly stopped you and made sure to hold your face gently as he turned you to look at him.

"[Reader], look at me. These don't hurt, I'm fine." He spoke firmly at first to get your attention before his face and tone softened greatly.

"I couldn't care less about these marks. If anything, they remind me that I've got you by my side and that isn't changing." He began to pepper your face in kisses to wipe away your tears. "I'm not letting you hurt yourself over such a little thing."

You could only sigh, melting into his affections and letting your worries wash away as you smiled at him so softly. "Heh... You know how to make me feel like jello in your care..." You chuckled a bit, trying to joke around to ease the tension from before until you suddenly found yourself right underneath him with a playful chuckle escaping his mouth.

"Luckily there's more ways to show my love and make you feel like jello." He almost seemed smug as he saw your blush.

Let's hope the cabin walls are more soundproof than they look...

Anything you'd like to request/ask? Check out my pinned post first and I'll be happy to write up whatever you want!

[rottenstrawberrigirl]

Oh, my God, my eyes have been blessed. Nikolai content? In this economy? From the hands of Quality? Never let this Valentine's Day end. 🥺

Nikolai on Valentines Day

Mornings with Nikolai were never peaceful.

Today was no exception. You were woken abruptly—and rudely—by a flurry of kisses: light as air, insistent, pressed to every inch of skin he could reach. Your cheeks, your forehead, the tip of your nose, even the hollow of your throat—safe to say, you were kissed thoroughly before you even had time to object in indignation.

Then came the roses. One hundred and one, in fact. Blood-red, overwhelming, and filling the room with their cloying fragrance. You barely had time to process the tawdry display before Nikolai, beaming from ear to ear, bragged that he had arranged them himself the previous night.

“Why one hundred and one?” you asked, still groggy and a little dazed.

“Because an even number is for funerals, and you, my love, are far too alive for that!” He sang, tapping your nose.

You might've appreciated the sentiment more if it weren't for the headline flashing across your phone screen, which read: 'Local Flower Shop Broken Into—No Signs of Forced Entry.'

You gave him a suspicious look.

Nikolai simply smirked, dropping his head to a pretense of innocence. “First of all, I didn’t break anything! And I paid for them too. So basically, no harm done—just creative procurement!”

Before you could pry further, Nikolai, ever the whimsical spirit, had already set his sights on a new whim.

One moment, you were reaching for your coffee; the next, you were being were swept into the living room, your still-sleepy protests drowned out by his unchecked enthusiasm.

He placed a vinyl on the record player—the very same one that you'd both picked out together at the flea market a few days earlier. The needle settled into the grooves, and a golden, crackling melody filled the room—an old Italian love song, rich and mushy.

Nikolai stepped forward, facing you, mismatched eyes gleaming with roguish charm.

"I will and I shall take this dance," he declared, raising his hand and bowing his head dramatically low.

“Kolya, wait—” you tried, laughter spilling from your lips.

But he was already twirling you, his movements more enthusiastic than coordinated. You stepped on his toes once, twice, but if it hurt, he didn’t show it—too preoccupied with belting out the song’s lyrics in an off-key, utterly butchered rendition.

Neither of you had any idea what the song was about, but it didn’t matter. It felt romantic. And that was enough.

What were you going to do with this lovesick fool?

Most likely love him just the same.

Dividers: saradika-graphics

[edenesth]

Until Death Claims Us

Pairing: vampire!Hongjoong x human!reader (+ a bit of boyfriend!Seonghwa x girlfriend!reader)

AU: vampire au

Word Count: 5.3k

Summary: You were a fool to believe you could save him. You should have heeded everyone's warnings to run, but now you found yourself in need of saving—from him, the very embodiment of the devil.

Genre: angst, horror

Rating: Mature (M)

Trigger Warnings: violence, implied sexual assault, emotional abuse, kidnapping, gore and blood, coercion, isolation (being trapped/cut off from loved ones), substance use, death, self-harm, suicidal thoughts

A/N: Happy Halloween, folks! This contains dark themes and is not my typical cutesy little romance fic (been feeling violent lately), you've been warned.

ATEEZ MASTERLIST

"You're being such a good girl today," he taunted, pulling back slightly from your neck. The skin was bruised and ruptured from his relentless biting, a trail of blood staining the silk of your robes. "I wasn't expecting this—especially after the little show we put on for your poor loverboy yesterday. What was his name again? Park Seonghwa, wasn't it?"

You lay still beneath him, your gaze fixed on the familiar ceiling you'd come to know all too well during each struggle, each time he took you against your will.

"It's over, Hongjoong," you murmured, and his grin only widened as he licked his bloody fangs, mocking. "Over? For whom? You know you're mine, don't you? I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever, my pet."

A small smile crossed your lips. "Exactly. I'm counting on that. I don't plan on leaving without you either. I won't let you hurt or threaten the people I love again—my boyfriend, my brother, my best friend..."

His eyes narrowed at your words. "What are you—" But before he could finish, the poison you'd ingested began to take hold, creeping through him bit by bit. He gasped, his hand clutching his heart. "Wh-what have you done?"

You chuckled bitterly, a trickle of blood trailing from your nose. "Wolfsbane and monkshood, enough to kill us both within the hour."

He gasped at your words. Vampires were immune to many things, but the herbs you'd named were among the deadliest known to any living thing—even to his kind. His claws flew to your neck, tightening as he growled, "Are you out of your goddamned mind, woman?!"

You smirked humourlessly. "Go ahead. End me now. It'd be a mercy."

Realising the force of his grip on your throat, he released you quickly, a shaky hand brushing your face as he noticed the blood trickling from your nose. If the poison was already taking a toll on him, your mortal body must be suffering a thousand times worse. "Do you really hate me this much?"

You shook your head, pulling your face away from his touch, but he only grasped you again, forcing you to meet his gaze—just as forceful as ever. That was the Kim Hongjoong you knew. "You're joking, right? You took me from my family, my friends, my… my lover, and forced me to stay by your side, to be fed on and used as you pleased. What else could I feel for you?"

He furrowed his brows, the pain in his chest intensifying as he struggled to keep his focus. "But, darling, I did it because I love you. I've told you over and over. If you weren't so stubborn, you could've been my queen. I was going to turn you—"

Tears of disgust welled up in your eyes as memories of this endless nightmare resurfaced. Weeks, months… you'd lost track. Maybe your family would know how long you'd been gone. "Love? You call this love? You don't torture someone you claim to love. You don't even know what that word means, you monster!"

Regret.

Immense, suffocating regret was all you felt. It had consumed you from the moment you'd fallen into Hongjoong's trap, ensnared by his cunning words and dark allure.

It hadn't always been this way.

⸸

"Ow!" you yelped, clutching your scraped knee as you eased yourself into a sitting position, recovering from the clumsy fall. You should have watched where you were going, but your mind had been lost in thought, still sulking over your cancelled plans. Your boyfriend had last-minute work obligations, leaving you disappointed after you'd looked forward to your date all day. Worse still, both your brother and best friend had their own commitments, so you were left to walk home alone, wishing Seonghwa were there to pick you up.

"Hey there, you alright?" a warm voice interrupted, and you looked up to see a stranger standing beside you, his hand extended politely, yet without touching.

And that was how you met him, on a chilly autumn evening. Kim Hongjoong had been so kind, so gentle, as you spilt your frustrations to him. He listened with a soft smile, guiding you to a nearby bus stop, supporting you with a careful hold, and tending to your wound with a small bandage. Before leaving, he draped his coat around your shoulders, leaving you with a comforting warmth.

How sweet of him.

What you didn't know was that as he walked away from you that night, his soft smile faded, replaced by a dark scowl. His fists clenched at his sides, and he cursed himself under his breath. He had planned to drain you right there on that empty street; it was the sweet scent of your blood that had drawn him to you in the first place. But the moment he saw you—eyes wide, vulnerable, and tangled in frustration—something inside him shifted, and he had done something he'd never done before: he spared his prey.

Had it been any other woman, she would have lost her life in an instant. It went against his nature to let a meal walk away unharmed. But you had been different somehow, your innocence tugging at some long-buried part of him he'd rather keep forgotten. "Pathetic," he muttered, disgusted with himself, before casting a glance over his shoulder, watching you as you disappeared from sight, his coat still wrapped around you.

"Another time," he murmured to himself, eyes narrowing with resolve. If he saw you again, he wouldn't hesitate.

Another time, human.

"Babe? What's this?" your beloved's voice called out, and an instant smile lit up your face as you turned to greet him that evening. "Hwa, you're home!" But as you tried to rush to him, a sharp pang in your knee held you back, and his eyes quickly caught the slight wince. In an instant, he was at your side, Hongjoong's coat discarded on the chair beside you.

"What happened? Are you okay?" he asked, worry furrowing his brow as he knelt beside you, inspecting the bandage.

You laughed sheepishly. "I may or may not have tripped over my own foot. But a kind stranger helped me out—he's the one who gave me his coat." You nodded toward the garment that Seonghwa had been eyeing earlier. "He found me by the side of the road, got me to a bus stop, and made sure I was alright before he left."

Guilt flashed across your boyfriend's face as he cupped your cheek, his thumb gently stroking your skin. "I'm so sorry I had to cancel, baby. It's my fault you were out there alone. Does it still hurt?"

You shook your head, leaning into his touch. "Not anymore. You're here now, and that's all that matters."

His expression softened as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Well, I'm just relieved someone was there to help. Good thing that man found you."

At the time, you nodded in agreement, warmth spreading through you at the thought. But if you had known then what you knew now, you would have wept, realising that this was only the beginning of a nightmare you could never have anticipated.

⸸

Falling into his orbit had been so easy.

"It's you!" you beamed as you stepped out of your workplace, your face lighting up at the sight of the kind stranger who had offered his coat and helped you just days before. The man smiled, his expression warm and charming as he nodded.

"It is me. I was just passing by and noticed you finishing up your shift," he said. "Heading home now?"

You nodded, stepping closer. "I am! And I actually have your coat all cleaned and ready, but I didn't bring it with me today. I can return it to you next time you pass by."

He chuckled, his gaze unwavering. "Why wait? I'll walk you home now, and you can give it to me there."

Maybe you should have been more cautious about leading a stranger to your doorstep. But he was your saviour, after all—surely you could trust him… right? If only you had thought twice back then, if only.

"Would you like to come in for a bit? It's a little chilly outside; let me just grab your coat real quick," you said, hurrying inside, leaving the door open behind you as you went to find it. Unhurried, the vampire stepped in, his eyes alight with satisfaction. Your scent filled the space, sweet and intoxicating. He took a slow breath, biting back the urge to sink his teeth into you right then. How awfully trusting you were—it made him want to draw this out, savouring the game.

He wandered into your living room, pausing at the wall lined with photos. His gaze darkened slightly as he took in the images of you with another man, holding you close, kissing you in some. Ah, yes, the lover. His lips twisted in a faint sneer, though when you returned with his coat folded neatly in your arms, he met you with a polite smile.

"Let me guess," he said smoothly, pointing to a photo, "this must be the lucky guy who had to cancel on you that night?"

You glanced at the picture and nodded, smiling. "That's him—my boyfriend. He was really grateful you were there to help me out."

Hongjoong's grin widened ever so slightly, amusement flashing in his eyes. "Grateful, is he?" he murmured, his voice silky, almost too smooth.

But you missed the glint of slyness in his tone, sending him off with a wave and a warm smile. Later that night, the vampire clutched the coat to his face, breathing in your scent with a low growl, his grip tightening. He hadn't realised until now how intoxicating the pull was, but he knew one thing for sure: this coat would never leave his grasp again—not until he had you for himself.

Once again, he had spared you.

But this time, it wasn't mercy—it was control. He'd see just how long you would continue to trust him, let him in. And then, he thought with a twisted smirk, he would show you exactly who he was as he drained every drop from you.

If you thought that would be the last time you'd see him, you were sorely mistaken. Almost every evening after that, he would appear outside the cafe just as your shift ended, leaning against the lamppost as though he'd been waiting.

"Want some company on the way home?" he'd ask, his voice always gentle, words wrapped in warmth as he mentioned it was on his way anyway.

And so, you'd let him walk beside you, night after night. He always seemed to know just what to say, as though he could read your mind. Every word was perfectly timed, his soft laughter like music that drew you in before you even realised it. He began to open up about his life, weaving tales of heartbreak and loneliness that tugged at your heart, his voice so sincere that it was easy to believe him.

"They say life is easier with someone who truly understands you," he'd murmur, eyes dark and searching as he glanced your way. He'd mention how it felt to be isolated, misunderstood—and somehow, it felt like he was talking to you, like he was a lost soul just waiting for the right person to come along.

And he'd pause, his gaze softening. "It's rare to find someone who… just gets it, you know?"

You'd nod, heart aching, wanting so badly to be that someone, to fill that void you thought you saw in him.

You had no idea then that he was slowly slipping under your skin, blurring the lines of trust and intuition until you found yourself more invested in him than you ever thought possible. That he wasn't seeking connection or friendship—he was weaving a web, each thread perfectly placed. And all along, his hunger lay just beneath the surface, patiently waiting for the right moment to reveal itself.

If only you had known what it meant to be the "friend" of a vampire.

⸸

Then there was that night in the park.

You'd found him sitting alone on a bench, his figure slouched, his head bowed as though the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. His expression was distant, empty, as he stared down at his hands—hands that seemed unblemished but, if only you'd known, had just left a trail of lives snuffed out too soon. No human could have sensed it, but his hunger for you was unmatched, something primal that no other blood could satisfy, not even the hapless souls he'd claimed just hours before.

But you, blissfully unaware of the darkness around him, only saw someone you thought of as a friend. Someone you might save, if you showed him kindness. Your heart ached at the sight, and you quietly sat beside him, reaching out to take his hand. His fingers were cool against yours, a chill that settled into your skin, but you brushed it off as a sign of the evening's autumn air.

"Everything alright, my friend?" you asked, your voice soft, filled with worry you didn't understand.

He didn't even glance up, yet he squeezed your hand lightly, as though your presence had grounded him. "I… I think I might've done something I'm not exactly proud of," he murmured, his voice trembling just enough to pull at your heart.

You sighed, your thumb tracing small circles on his hand, offering him a gentle squeeze without pressing him to share. "It's okay, Joong. I… I know your life hasn't been easy. Whatever it was, you probably had no choice." You gave him a small, reassuring smile. "Nobody's perfect. I just want you to know you'll always have a friend in me."

As you spoke, he finally looked at you, but there was a sharp glint in his eye, a brief, almost predatory gleam that flickered just for a moment. And though you noticed the faint trace of crimson near his collar, you dismissed it as a trick of the streetlight or perhaps a stain from a spill. Why would you have thought any differently?

What you didn't know was that every word, every gesture, was like fuel to his fire. He'd lured you in, time and again, feeding off your kindness, growing closer with each moment, all the while concealing what lay beneath that soft, gentle exterior. And you, too blinded by trust, saw only the broken soul he wanted you to see, never realising just how deeply you'd fallen into his hands.

If you'd known what he was hiding, you'd have run. But then, if he had his way, running wouldn't have saved you.

⸸

Regret. Deep, suffocating regret washed over you as you recalled how blindly you'd trusted a stranger you barely knew, dismissing every warning from those who loved you.

"Babe, I really don't have a good feeling about this guy you've been talking to," Seonghwa murmured one evening, wrapping his arms around you from behind as you washed the dishes. "I know he helped you that night, but his actions lately…"

You'd bitten your lip, drying your hands before turning to embrace him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "I know it seems strange, Hwa, but he honestly just feels like someone who needs a friend. Maybe I'll introduce you two someday."

You had brushed off his concerns, convincing yourself you were just being overly cautious. How could you have known then what lurked beneath Hongjoong's warm smile and attentive gaze? The way he listened, the kindness in his eyes—it all felt genuine. But now, those memories were shadowed by the haze of your own naivety.

Thinking back to Seonghwa's concerned eyes and protective arms, the ache in your chest deepened. He had only wanted to shield you, to keep you safe, but you'd shrugged off his worries like scattered autumn leaves that night in the park. How could you have ignored the instincts of those who loved you?

You remembered your brother's warning too. "He knows you have a boyfriend, right? Then why is he still so…" he sighed, catching the frown on your face. "Just be careful around him, noona." His brow had been furrowed, his voice tinged with the protectiveness you'd come to expect from him.

Even your best friend had weighed in. "Gurl, he's hot, single, and lonely? Maybe he could use someone like me as a distraction!" she teased, laughing before her face turned serious. "But honestly, your brother and Hwa are right. You don't know him that well. Stranger danger, babe. You shouldn't be so trusting."

At the time, you'd laughed it all off, buoyed by a sense of invincibility in your own trust and optimism. But now, standing face-to-face with the darkness beneath Hongjoong's charm, the weight of every ignored warning settled heavily on your conscience. He'd played you, twisted your kindness into his own weapon, feeding on your good intentions to serve his own dark needs. If only you had listened.

⸸

"I find myself in a dire situation and in need of your help. If your words are sincere and your care for me as genuine as you've claimed, then please, come to me at once."

You should have heeded their warnings on that fateful day. As you picked up the note outside the cafe, your name scrawled across it, you noticed the handwriting—almost ancient, as if penned with a quill. It was signed by Hongjoong and carried an urgent request for you to come to his residence immediately.

As you read, questions flooded your mind.

First, why had he never exchanged numbers with you? Did he even own a phone? You realise now you've never seen him with one. His communication felt so… archaic. Perhaps he was simply a fan of old-fashioned ways, though the thought brought little comfort.

Then there was the urgency—what could he need you for so desperately? If he'd come all the way to leave the note, why not just speak to you? It struck you then that he'd never entered the cafe, never bought a drink, or even lingered to chat.

And the address… secluded in the middle of nowhere. Why would he live so far from everyone? A shadow of doubt tugged at you, urging you to reach out for advice from those who cared about you. But against your better judgement, you let the image of his pleading, dark eyes linger in your mind. Before you knew it, you were on your way, heart racing with anticipation and dread.

Each step felt heavier than the last, the echoes of your loved ones' warnings circling through your mind. Yet you pushed them aside, drawn by an inexplicable pull to see him again. It was as if you were stepping toward a dark abyss, its presence invisible yet pressing close. The setting sun cast long shadows, stretching as if to hold you back. But the illusion of connection, once so warm and real, propelled you forward.

As you reached his residence—a grand, ancient mansion, the air turned colder, a chill that crept down your spine. You paused at the door, dread settling in your stomach as if the very walls whispered the warnings you'd ignored. Was this a terrible mistake? You took a deep breath, pushed aside your hesitation, and knocked, the sound seeming to dissolve into the gathering twilight.

"You're here, at last, my dear," he murmured, voice dripping with sarcastic satisfaction. He turned, and in an instant, the false warmth vanished, twisting into a grin that revealed razor-sharp fangs.

"I've been waiting. And I'm starving."

⸸

Has it been days... or weeks?

"Wh-what the hell are you doing...?" you choked out, pressing a trembling hand to your neck to staunch the blood trickling from the bite he'd left. You were sprawled across his bed, barely able to move, every ounce of strength drained from you. Above, he stood with your phone in hand, snapping photos of you with a twisted, relished focus—capturing every vulnerable angle as if he were savouring an art piece on display.

"Making a collection to send to your little boyfriend, of course," he said, tone laced with mockery.

Your heart plummeted at the mention of Seonghwa. "N-no..."

Hongjoong smirked, his eyes dark and cold. "Oh, don't worry, darling. He wouldn't dare interfere if he knew what was good for you. And you'll behave yourself too, won't you? Wouldn't want anything happening to your precious family and friends, after all."

It hit you then—the grim reality. Your life as you knew it was over. He was a centuries-old monster, a bloodthirsty fiend who had you completely at his mercy. You were a mortal trapped in his web, no longer a person but a mere vessel to sate his hunger and whims.

Escape was a fleeting dream; you were too weak, too vulnerable. But in the dark corners of your mind, one thought persisted—an escape of a different kind. If you could somehow slip from this existence, you might at least put an end to this misery. Yet a lingering fear held you back: Seonghwa, your family, your friends. Were they still out there, searching for you, hearts heavy with worry? The thought of them stepping into this nightmare in a desperate attempt to find you gnawed at your soul.

You could take any fate for yourself, but the idea of your loved ones in harm's way was a weight you couldn't bear. So you swallowed back the dread, praying that they would find peace, that they would move on, even if you couldn't.

⸸

"Smile, darling. Loverboy has come to see you."

You gasped, a weak cry escaping your lips as his weight pressed you deeper into the mattress. You could barely push back against him, every ounce of strength drained, yet you clung to the disbelief—he couldn't have brought Seonghwa here. Not to witness this, not to see you in this state, drugged and used as Hongjoong's plaything. It had to be another one of his twisted games.

But as you turned your head to the window, horror struck you. There, just outside, stood your boyfriend. His eyes were wide, a mix of shock and agony contorting his face as he registered the scene before him: his first love, his entire world, bare and broken beneath another's hands.

A strangled sob left you as you watched him stumble back, his gaze a shattered mess of disbelief and betrayal. And then, without another glance, he turned and fled. The monster above you let out a dark chuckle, pressing a bruising kiss to your lips before pulling back with a smug, twisted satisfaction.

"And there he goes," he murmured, the words dripping with poison. "That should do it—no more foolish rescue attempts, no more endless searching. Just you and me, my dear. Don't worry; I'll take care of you from now on."

You lay there, his words echoing in your mind, the last remnants of your heart breaking into pieces. Your tears spilt freely, soaking the pillow beneath you as the reality sank in. With your boyfriend now gone, the final shred of hope and sanity within you slipped away. Yet, beneath the ache, something sharper flickered to life—a resolve you hadn't known you could possess.

The emptiness left you with nothing to lose. Hongjoong thought he'd finally won, thought he had you in his grasp forever. But he didn't know the lengths you'd go to escape him, the price you were willing to pay.

As your tears dried, you knew—if this was to be your end, he was going down with you.

⸸

Staring down at the wolfsbane and monkshood you'd collected, carefully wrapped in a small piece of parchment, your hands trembled. This was it. Once you took them, there would be no going back—the amount you'd prepared was enough to kill a bloodsucker within an hour, let alone you, a mere mortal. You took a shaky breath, steeling yourself to swallow the bitter herbs.

But just as you brought the packet closer, footsteps echoed down the hall, deliberate and unhurried. Heart racing, you hurriedly tucked the packet beneath the bed, barely managing to slide it out of sight as Hongjoong sauntered into the room, his gaze settling on you with that ever-present glint of sadistic amusement.

"Aww, look at you," he purred, eyes narrowing with mock sympathy. "Missing loverboy already, hm?" He let the words linger, watching the tension twist in your expression. "I am sorry he might not return the sentiment. Not anymore. Maybe you should just focus on me, darling." He crawled onto the bed, his movements slow and taunting, each slithering inch bringing him closer until his familiar, bone-chilling embrace enveloped you once more. The kind of hold that wrapped around your very spirit, pulling you down like an anchor.

The image of Seonghwa's face, etched with horror, surfaced in your mind, and you bit your lip to keep from crying out. How could he have been forced to see you like this? Swallowing hard, you clenched your fists, determined not to give this monster the satisfaction of seeing your tears.

But his lips grazed your neck, chilling as they pressed over the bruised, unhealed bite marks that would likely never get the chance to heal. A shiver raced down your spine. The coldness of him… It was like every hope of escape was slipping further away.

"Joong…" you whispered, voice barely audible. You felt him freeze for a moment at the sound of his name, the way you'd once used it back when you'd believed his act. Back when you'd truly cared for him. The silence stretched, the flicker of tension you'd caught in him melting back into amusement.

"Before I came here... before all of this…" your voice cracked, but you forced yourself to continue, needing to see if there was even a fraction of humanity left in him. "Was there ever one moment where the side you showed me was sincere?"

His eyes darkened, amusement shifting into something almost unreadable. His expression stayed carefully composed, but his grip tightened, as though he sensed the question held more weight than he was prepared to deal with. For a moment, you thought you saw something there—guilt, maybe, or regret? But it was gone in an instant, replaced by that cold, detached gaze.

"Oh, my poor, naive love," he murmured, voice soft but devoid of empathy. "Sincere? That side of me was whatever you wanted it to be. And it did its job beautifully, wouldn't you agree?" His lips curled into a smirk, as though he savoured the pain reflected in your eyes.

With that answer, a profound calm settled over you, solidifying the choice you'd been struggling with. He had no redemption. No humanity. And soon enough, he'd feel what it was like to be powerless, too. The herbs were just beneath the bed, waiting to release you both from this wretched game.

And it would be soon.

⸸

Your own recklessness had led you here; there was no one else to blame. And yet, the thought of Seonghwa tightened painfully around your heart. He had been everything—the one you imagined beside you in every future, the light in all your darkest moments. Now, he was left only with the haunting image of you powerless, taken by the monster who loomed over you.

The vampire had turned your suffering into a twisted show, a grotesque performance designed to break every last bit of faith Seonghwa held for you. How could he possibly still love you after witnessing this? How could anyone?

But perhaps that was for the best. If it meant he'd let go of the desperate need to search for you, you could leave this world knowing no one would mourn your tainted existence. And with that bleak acceptance, your resolve crystallised. Hongjoong had unknowingly given you all the tools you needed, and you were finally ready to use them. The knowledge from his library, the herbs in his greenhouse—all his arrogance had left him exposed.

You'd consumed more than enough of the poison just before his feeding time, driven by a singular determination to end this—no more hesitation.

The venom surged through your veins, dizzying yet invigorating, each heartbeat counting down to your final moments—and his. You focused on that thought as his grip on you began to waver, his dominant presence starting to crumble as the poison took effect.

As your vision began to blur, clarity sharpened in your mind. This wasn't just an escape; it was vengeance. The thought fueled the last remnants of strength in your body.

"Do you feel that, Kim Hongjoong?" you whispered, forcing your voice to hold steady despite nausea clawing at you. "This is the end for you, and I'll die knowing you'll never hurt anyone else again."

He looked down at you, disbelief flickering into grim acceptance, and then, to your surprise, a small grin crept across his lips. He lay down beside you, fingers reaching out to entwine with yours. "You sly little fox… this is why I love you so much. No one else could have done this to me, no matter how they tried. At least we'll be together in the afterlife. I may be dying, but I'll die happy knowing I've won over Park Seonghwa."

The poison surged stronger with every heartbeat, each pulse dragging you deeper into the icy grip of darkness as the final remnants of your strength began to fade. "You're delusional, Kim. You'll have me... only until death claims us."

⸸

"No! No, it can't be!" Seonghwa's voice tore through the night, raw and desperate as he tried to break free from the arms restraining him. His screams cut the air, his cries echoing in the vast, empty silence that had settled around the mansion. But the police officers, your brother, your best friend—everyone held him back from reaching you… or what was left of you.

If only you could have held on just a moment longer. The sirens had drawn near, filling the air with the promise of help, of escape, but they'd come too late. Your boyfriend had done the only thing he could, knowing that a rash attempt to rescue you would have meant his death too. He'd left after seeing you one last time, shattering as he took in the horror of your suffering, knowing you'd endured all this while he searched tirelessly for you.

Now, at last, he was here, hands still reaching out for you, ready to bring you back into his arms—but all that was left was an empty, still form entwined in the lifeless arms of the very monster who'd stolen you from him. His sobs were relentless, tearing from his chest as he stumbled forward, pleading, his body wracked with the pain of a thousand what-ifs.

If only he had fought harder to keep you by his side. If only he hadn't cancelled that night. If only he'd never let you cross paths with Hongjoong. The blame—merciless, relentless—wrapped around him like a noose, each regret tightening its hold.

This ache would follow him, a cycle of blame and guilt that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He would never be the same.

I'll join you soon, my love.

This has got to be one of my personal favourites, I do love me some sadistic shit from time to time. Hope y'all enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

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[dioslesbianwife]

Hey I have I idea imagine the Jofoes with a partner who has their most adorable stand but it's extremely dangerous

If don't judge the book by the cover of a stand

ooh totally- hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting!! :3

Dio

At first, Dio underestimates your Stand. It looks small, maybe plush-like, maybe with big round eyes, something that couldn't possibly be a threat.

Then he sees it obliterate an enemy in an instant, without changing its cutesy expression.

“Hmph. Now that’s power,” he says with an intrigued smirk, but he watches your Stand very carefully after that. Even he isn’t immune to its deceptive charm.

He absolutely tests if he can command it to stay away, but quickly learns that your Stand is truly only harmless when you want it to be, which both infuriates and fascinates him.

Kars

Kars is unimpressed at first because he believes nothing can surpass his own power.

Then he sees your Stand’s ability in action, and it makes him pause.

"Interesting," he muses, analyzing it like a scientist, watching as it annihilates anything in its path while looking like a harmless little creature.

He doesn’t fear it, but he does respect it, and he even tests its limits. Could it evolve like him? He asks you all sorts of questions, fully intrigued.

He loves the contrast. Something as cute as your Stand hiding a monstrous power? It reminds him of himself,  beautiful but deadly.

Esidisi

"Oh, what a harmless little thing" He immediately looks down at your Stand when he first sees it, thinking it’s harmless.

A moment later, it eviscerates someone with a single move, and Esidisi stops mid-sentence.

He looks on in shock, then laughs- he loves it. He absolutely adores how deceptive it is.

He'll 100% play along with your Stand, acting like it's a pet, but knowing full well it could wipe out an army if it wanted to.

"Such a deceptive monster"

Wamuu

Wamuu respects all power, no matter the form it takes.

He does a double-take when he first sees your Stand, though, because it looks too innocent.

But the moment he sees it in battle, he understands. Power disguised as weakness is a strong strategy, and he admires that deeply.

“You wield something extraordinary,” he says solemnly, watching as your Stand ruthlessly destroys an enemy without ever looking threatening.

He trains with you and your Stand, testing its reaction time and abilities in battle. You can tell he truly respects it, never underestimating it.

Yoshikage Kira

He finds your Stand visually pleasing. If it’s cute, small, and soft-looking, he might even say it’s relaxing.

The first time he sees it destroy something in an instant, his calm smile falters just a little.

"Ah… fascinating," he murmurs, eyes narrowing. He both admires and fears it.

He’s slightly nervous around it after that- what if it accidentally activates near him?

"You have it under control… right?" he asks, carefully watching as it blinks at him with an innocent expression.

Diavolo

This man hates anything unpredictable, so your Stand’s deceptively cute nature bothers him.

"How can something so small and… irritatingly charming be so powerful?"

He keeps King Crimson on high alert whenever it’s near. He trusts you, but the Stand? Not so much.

He considers it an advantage, though. If people underestimate it, that works in your favor.

You can tell he respects it, but he also treats it like a loaded gun at all times.

Doppio

He adores your Stand at first. If it’s fluffy, round, or makes cute noises, he’s absolutely delighted by it.

"Boss! Look how cute it is!" he happily tells Diavolo, probably trying to pet it.

Then it demonstrates its horrifying power, and Doppio freezes.

He’s a little afraid of it after that, but he still tries to act normal around it.

"Good… um, good little Stand," he says, forcing a nervous smile as it tilts its adorable head at him.

Enrico Pucci

Pucci doesn’t care about appearances- only results.

The moment he witnesses its abilities, he acknowledges its value, regardless of how cute it looks.

"Your Stand is a deception in itself…."

He incorporates its strengths into his own plans, using its innocence as a tactical advantage.

If someone laughs at it, he simply watches as they meet their untimely demise moments later.

Funny Valentine

He sees your Stand as a perfect espionage tool. No one would suspect something so harmless-looking.

He'd use it in political situations, sending it into places where normal Stand users would be seen as a threat.

"Your Stand is a blessing to this nation," he tells you sincerely.

Of course, he also keeps a very close eye on it. If it's that powerful, he needs to make sure it never becomes his problem.

Diego Brando

He acts unimpressed. "It looks ridiculous."

Then he sees it demolish an opponent, and his smirk fades.

"…Alright. Maybe it's got something."

He’d definitely test if it’s more destructive than Scary Monsters, pitting it against his dinosaur form.

He quickly grows fond of it, but would never admit it, except maybe to you.

Tooru

He finds your Stand hilarious. The idea of something so adorable being so lethal? Absolute perfection.

He teases people about it, playing up how harmless it looks before watching it destroy them.

"Why are you afraid of this? It’s just a little toy," he says, barely holding back laughter as your Stand wipes out an entire room.

He probably tries to use it as part of his manipulation tactics- getting people to underestimate both himself and you.

But deep down, even he is slightly wary of it.

[masternutswag]

♥︎♡︎ BF!𝒟EKU ℋEAD𝒞ANONS

genres: fluff, angst if you squint, gns!reader*

proofread?: yes

masternutswag’s note: I WROTE MY LAST DRABBLE AS A JOKE YALL I DIDNT EXPECT TO ACTUALLY GET NOTES SKSKSKFJDI anyways i think im gonna stick to posting on this account cuz its fun and i like the clout so here's some cutesy headcanons for yall >_<

*gender not specified

• bf!deku who has absolutely nothing to hide from you. you basically share his phone, all he wants is for you to trust him

• bf!deku who will never ever let himself fall asleep before you, he can only be peaceful when he knows that you're settled properly

• bf!deku who is always humming to himself your guys' favourite song at the time because he doesn't like when it's too quiet

• bf!deku who collects all of your figurines as a hero and keeps them in a cute little box (a massive ass tub) under his bed to pull out when he misses you

• bf!deku who you could spend literal hours yapping to and he would remember every single word you said for the rest of his life, remembering things about you even you forgot about 😭

• bf!deku who would honestly out-sass you any day

• bf!deku that when drunk, will be absolutely all over you, shouting to anyone who will listen about how much he loves and appreciates you (not like he doesn't do this when he's sober, too)

• bf!deku who finds your pulse on your wrist while cuddling and listens closely to your breathing just because he finds it comforting (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

• bf!deku who absolutely ADORES when you trace around his skin or scars with your fingers so does it to you too all the time

• bf!deku who is amazing at reading social situations and knows just when you start getting overwhelmed or uncomfortable, immediately moving you both away from the situation

• bf!deku who genuinely cannot stand to see you cry like it genuinely feels like a stab in his heart

• bf!deku who has the weakest immune system ever like it feels like you are taking care of this man because he's BEDRIDDEN from an illness every other week (you love taking care of him really)

• bf!deku who your parents would absolutely LOVE

• bf!deku who sends you a good morning, goodnight and i love you message every single day, even if yall are fighting

BF!DEKU WHO IS SO FINE AND SO MINE GRAHHHH 😖😖

- end ^^

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

(hi chat. i wrote a fic about oli cameo-ing in wild life. it’s about 1k words. lizzie jimmy and scar are in it. it gets a little sad. i hope you enjoy it)

Oli snickered at the absolutely dumbfounded expression currently being given to him by none other than Jimmy Solidarity.

“Hiya Tim. Did you miss me?”

Jimmy continued to stare with his jaw halfway to the void. “What- you- you’re not- how are you here?”

Oli just grins, sitting back and crossing his legs with what he hopes is an annoyingly smug expression. Judging by the way Jimmy’s eyes flash, it’s working.

“I’m just that special. Being practically god and all, I thought I should pay a visit to my sweet sweet boy.” Oli waves a hand, tilting his head. Jimmy looks cute when he’s confused.

“Does Grian know you’re here?”

Oli grins. “Who do you think invited me?”

If Jimmy wasn’t in shock before, he certainly is now. “Grian. Brought you. Here. To his death games.”

Oli swings his legs absently. “Someone had to write a song for that little trivia bot. 2 of them, actually. In one day. Not sure how I pulled that one off, not to mention the snails.”

Jimmy dissolves into a fit of nonsensical babbling, and Oli can’t help but it burst into laughter again. While Jimmy processes this, Oli decides it’s about time he takes a look around. He hops off the block he’s sitting on, spinning around slowly to take in Jim’s base.

It’s cutesy, he decides, and almost painfully familiar. The cherry theming, the hilltop location, the giant animal statues. It always comes back to death and canaries, somehow. Oli can’t figure out how Jimmy keeps getting away with this. He walks slowly, dramatically sweeping around to take everything in. Listening to cherry petals shift under his feet and trying to drown out the phantom sound of explosions in his head. Jimmy has stopped talking, and is staring at him as he wanders. Oli flashes him a smile. Jim just looks apprehensive.

Oli doesn’t blame him. He’s not supposed to be here, even by Grian’s standards. And mathematically, Oli has an infinite amount of kills per death games he’s been in. He’s not a player, and as such he can’t die. He’s immune to Grian’s wildcards and rules. He’s practically a god, in a way, which is not really something he’s ever experienced. It would be more fun if he was allowed to stay. Maybe he can write another song.

Deciding there isn’t much more to look at, Oli turns fully to Jimmy. It’s uncomfortably quiet. Oli is about to make another quip when the silence is broken.

“Oli? What on earth are you doing here?”

If Oli thought seeing Jimmy messed with his head, hearing Lizzie calling out for him is like a shot to the brain. Even so, he can’t help but smile as he turns around to meet her.

“Lizzie!”

She runs up the hill towards him, slightly out of breath, transparent wings twitching in an all too familiar way. She pauses a few paces away, shooting him a grin.

“I knew those stupid snails sounded familiar. Joel recognized you first. How did you even get here?”

Pretending the mention of Joel doesn’t make him want to explode, Oli just shrugs. “Grian invited me. Voiced some snails, made some songs, and thought I’d come by and cause problems before he kicks me out again.”

Lizzie rolls her eyes. “To be honest, I’m surprised he hasn’t.”

“Well, I am technically God now, so…”

“Is that right.” Smoothing out her dress, Lizzie moves closer, forming a small triangle with the three of them. Jimmy still looks befuddled and Lizzie has that same mischievous glint in her eyes she always does, and Oli is suddenly very homesick. Is that even the right word? Home is where the heart is, or something.

“Yep! 100%, genuine, certified, bona fide God. Can’t die, and my snails wreaked havoc like none other.”

“You’ve got me there.”

“So,” Oli claps his hands together. “This is your guys’s base? Very cherry-esque. Draw inspiration from anyone?”

Lizzie puts her hands on her hips. “Hey! Pink has been my thing since we were kids. Cherry biomes were made for me. I’ve been making cherry wood houses since before your stupid hog.”

“How dare you!” Oli gasps, putting a hand over his chest. “My hog was not stupid, he was magnificent. And pink was my thing too! I had pink hair for a while there, remember?”

“Yeah, cause of me! I’m the only reason you dye your hair at all! And besides, you don’t even die it pink anymore after-”

Lizzie cuts herself off suddenly, eyes wide, and Oli freezes in place. Jimmy looks taken aback by the sudden tension, looking nervously between the two of them.

After what feels like years, Oli exhales. “… Yeah. Alright. Pink is your thing.”

“Oli…”

Oli turns around suddenly, walking purposefully towards the large birds marking the front of their base. He adjusts the little green halo floating just above his hair, which is notably not pink. “These are cute.”

Lizzie, forever hyperaware of Oli’s incessant need to avoid his problems, just sighs. “Aren’t they?”

And just like that, it never even happened. Jimmy eventually realizes he’s never getting any answers, and joins in the banter, helping Lizzie take Oli on an official tour of their base. Eventually Scar returns, resulting in a 20 minute long argument that ends with Lizzie half dragging Oli down the hill and towards the cave BAM has claimed as their own. Lizzie bitterly shows him where her snail first made an attempt on her life, and Oli’s apology is ruined by the fact that he can’t stop snickering.

Eventually Lizzie drags him back up to the surface, and all too fast for Oli’s liking it’s nightfall. Scar unhelpfully comments that they’ll need their sleep to deal with whatever horrors will happen next session, and that Grian will probably be on Oli’s case soon.

Reluctantly, Oli says his goodbyes. And if he hugs Lizzie just a little too long, she doesn’t comment on it. And if his heart isn’t quite in the jokes he makes at Jimmy’s expense, no one says anything.

He doesn’t really know where he’s going. He’s not entirely sure how he got there at all, to be honest. He supposes he’ll have to track down Grian and ask. He doesn’t want to leave, he’s getting awfully tired of finally finding his friends just to lose them again.

Maybe Grian will add him to the next season.

[the-deadrobin]

Jason Todd Headcannons

I will probably add more later, because I surely forgot a few.

Half of these don't make sense, but they're fun.

Jason is a huge Literature nerd and an even bigger Jane Austen fan. He's also a huge romance lover. But he likes the wholesome cutesy shit. (I also think he just loves poems) But even so, he likes Shakespeare especially the tragedies like Macbeth.

He is the only Bat Alfred allows in the kitchen. Jason used to learn to cook from/help cook with Alfred back in his Robin days. Thus he is a surprisingly good cook, second only to Alfred.

Jason smoked when he was an Alley kid before being Robin and he still smokes as Red Hood. He also smokes on rooftops while Bruce has his Galas and the press are all over it.

This one is kinda funny but I love the idea of the Wayne family being like the Kardashians of Gotham (just much more useful) and Dick and Jason are absolute heartthrobs. (I'm so going to elaborate on this with detail in another post)

The Bat-fam don't know about the all-blades, or the all-caste. Because the situation just never called for it.

Anesthesia or sedatives either don't work on him, or wear off him much faster than normal. Same with alcohol.

Being a Gothamite, a Bat, and trained with the League Of Assassins, I imagine Jason has trained himself to have immunity to poisons and toxins (mostly but not all) (I believe its called Microdosing)

Jason has that good old white tuft of hair. Whether from head trauma or the Lazarus remains a mystery.

Jason is dramatic as hell. And extremely petty too. Spite drives this man. He does everything he can (no matter how small or big it might be) to spite Bruce.

Most of his younger siblings don't prank him unless they're looking for all out war, in which him, Dick and Steph form an alliance and go batshit insane (pun not intended)

Leading me to my next point: Jason is very competitive.

He's also a horrible role model because whenever any of the siblings fight (namely Tim and Damian) he just makes shit worse and watches the chaos he helped create.

Jason is big on revenge. He has a list is all I'm saying.

Jason probably has claustrophobia (what with being stuck in a damn coffin and all that)

I think that all of the bat siblings (except Dick, because he has the Big Bro power) has a blackmail list on everyone in the house. But no one can seem to find blackmail for Jason just because Jason is so damn good at covering up what he does that even if it was obvious he did something, there'd be no evidence of it.

Which leads to the fact that I think Jason is an extremely good liar. And he uses that to make his lies really weird and borderline crazy but people still believe him because he's just so convincing. Like, whenever he lies to Bruce, Bruce just believes it. And the other batkids are in the corner like: what??? It wasn't even a convincing lie!! But then they find out about an instance Jason has pulled this shit on them and realise how believable it actually is. (And that was only when he was caught) but Jason never does this to Alfred, because no matter what Alfred can always catch his lies.

Jason regularly has tea time with Alfred. They talk about books, food, Jason's schemes to fuck with his family and Alfred secretly gives him ideas. But everyone else in the family aside from Bruce and Jason always think Alfred is this innocent old man.

Also one of my favourites is that Jason jokes about his death. A lot. Everytime he sees an opportunity he takes it. Bruce and Dick (and to some degree Tim) are so uncomfortable everytime he does it, but Steph and Damian find it the funniest thing ever. Duke has absolutely no clue why Jason keeps making these jokes about dying, because no one told the poor guy. Cass is as clueless as Duke and Babs is always caught so off guard by it. Alfred is always mortified but he doesn't show it because he knows its Jason's coping mechanism.

I wholeheartedly believe that Jason drops off the face of the Earth occasionally. He just goes completely off-grid, no one (except sometimes Roy or Steph) know how to contact him or where he went. Not a single bat can find him when he does this. And that half the time he's doing this, he's just going to the Fields Of All to hang out with Ducra and some monks, or having mother son bonding time with Talia. Then the other half he's either having a nuch needed vacation in the beach, or going on a extremely dark and broody conquest to solve a large case and ultimately failing into its rabbithole and never attempting to get out. (He hates to admit it, but it's a lot like Bruce sometimes)

When Jason is out as Jason Wayne he totally wears makeup. Either just foundation to cover up his scars, or when he's feeling it maybe some black eyeliner and eyeshadow for Galas. So almost nobody recognises him as Jason Wayne while he's in normal civvies and he can wander Gotham freely. (Unlike Dick, who has to style his hair differently, wear a cap, change his wardrobe and still gets paparazzis)

Jason regularly quotes book and poems and the only person who has a chance of understanding him is Alfred.

This whole tumblr post.

Jason died before the Internet became as huge as it is now. So, Jason is the least technologically advanced in the family. He's the equivalent of a grandfather. Barely can use a computer without yelling for someone. Goes into Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss mode upon realising the stupidity of the scenario. It drives Tim and Babs insane. More of that here.

Everyone knows he loves Wonder Woman. He has Wonder Woman clothes, a bottle, a figurine, comics, etc. Once, he got a small tattoo of her logo under his ear mainly to spite Bruce. (Because he has accepted that, that's half his life purpose at this point).

But secretly, under the Wonder Woman jackets and tucked in between the pages of the comics are Green Arrow shirts and bookmarks. Only because he knows Bruce notices these small things and it gnaws away at him because Jason has never touched Batman merch since his ressurection. Roy does the same thing but with Batman merch.

Jason and Damian met in the League Of Assassins and were pretty close before going to Gotham for entirely different reasons. No one in the family knows about this and always wonder why they can communicate so well without using a word. (They did that a lot while sneaking around Nanda Parbat so Ra's wouldn't notice).

Jason and Steph are absolute besties. They're a chaos duo who love tormenting Bruce and are practically bff soulmates. But it's strictly platonic.

He's the kind of guy who would unironically recite a monologue from Macbeth without a hit him, just to motivate his goons.

This post

Also this post

Also, also, this post (I'm sorry, its just these posts are on point)

This one too-

[kosmicsandshoes]

KOSMIC WDYM 3P?? you just dropped a whole ass new au and act like nothing happened?! loredump PLEASE the people need to know

Alright alright alright lmao

It kinda started as me really just wanting an excuse to come up with more alternate character designs, but I did brainstorm it all day and really think about it.

3p, like 2p, is of course another alternate universe. Instead of being a dystopia, 3p is more of a paranormal world in the sense that the things seen in movies like The Blair Witch Project and Texas Chainsaw Massacre happen all too frequently and are normalized to an extent.

Basically, life is a horror movie in the 3p universe, and everyone just kinda has to deal with it.

Since I haven't had the chance to draw the others yet, I won't get into them, but I will explain the 3p big 3.

3p Nogla is the most manipulative of everyone in the group, for better or worse. He puts on the front of being the sweetest, most wholesome man to ever walk the earth and uses his silvery tongue to get people to do his bidding, whether that be to commit vehicular manslaughter or simply allowing him to cut in line. His borderline mystical powers also cause him to become obsessive to a creepy extent. If any one person peaks his interest even mildly, he obsessively stalks them and takes in their every move, and because of his cutesy, charming personality (and his own manipulative abilities), no one ever raises any suspicions. This usually comes to a head in 3p Nogla growing bored of the object of his obsessions, and discarding them one way or another.

3p Terroriser is a strange case. Much like his 1p counterpart, by some manner of the world, he gained sentience. Unlike his t-800 counterpart however, he's a t-900, the 3p universe's midway point between the t-800 and t-1000. He's more equipped to handle the burden of sentience than t-800 Terroriser is, but as a side effect, he's also more susceptible to negative human emotions. Such as flagrant narcissism. He's extremely prideful, and never does anything that he's told to, believing he knows what's right and wrong and everyone else is stupid. This also gives him absolute immunity to 3p Nogla's manipulation abilities.

3p Vanoss is definitely the most odd out of this bunch, and maybe even the whole 3p group. Completely different to both his 1p and 2p counterparts. Due to what can only be described as a series of unfortunate events involving illicit scientific experimentation, 3p Vanoss is not all there mentally. He's much like a feral cat cornered in an alleyway. He's manic and distrusting due to his past. He has a tendency to lash out and scratch and bite if he's too freaked out. His beak is typically tied shut as a result, and his bite seems to be lethal, as the only one who's survived being bitten by 3p Vanoss is 3p Terroriser (this is the canonical explanation as to why his endoskeleton arm is exposed, the bite corroded both his jacket and synthetic skin away). He's quick to anger as well, think like the tasmanian devil; any little thing could set him off, hence why 3p Nogla sticks around. While he's not as easily swayed like the rest of the world, he can still be talked down rather easily.

I hope this is a good explanation for now, I will definitely be doing more with this and making more designs since I just really like it.

[calmingpi]

Siblings computer ran out of battery just after lucrezia got downloaded into agatha, so heres the current sturmhalten (and end of circus arc) commentary

Im going to hand the phone to sibling, because they want to write it out themself, but also i told them they cant be too explicit so they said they'd censor things. I also put my foot down and said they cant call lars a "candy-ass," even if they meant it as a compliment about his ass

"Circus:

Payne and Countess Marie are both very fun characters, and good caretakers to the rest of the cast. Good Munkustrap and Cassandra vibes.

Lars is sweet, and im assuming he will die horribly and brutally. I have no hope for him. Nice butt. I wanna say Rum Tum Tugger but IDK, he isnt confident enough.

I want Zeetha to **** ** **** *** ***** *******-**** and i think her hair is neat. She should **** DuPree. Bombalurina, big time.

Pix is adorable and I love how schemey but sweet she is. She's like someone who steals your skittles then gives you a single peppermint and a smile. Like, not what i wanted, but you're very pretty so ill take what i can get, do you want my wallet too, or? Honestly, Rumpleteaser.

Thats honestly all my opinions on the circus people, the rest are fun but not fleshed out enough for me to hold harsh opinions.

Krosp is such a good contrast to Agatha and I like how much he obviously cares for her. she was one of the first people to show him kindness, and he clearly is repaying it in an angry feline way. Hes like a big brother who is also a cat. Hes an angry Asperagus the Theatre Cat.

I've hit Tarvek and I don't buy this cutesy sweet boy act at all. I KNOW YOU'RE A BITCH. MAN UP AND BE THE DIVA BASTARD I KNOW YOU ARE CUT THIS UWU BABY SHIT. loser. He's great. Mr. Mistofolees, but not the movie version. Pure classic era Mistofolees.

I think all the Jägers should **** ********* ** *** ********** and im not allowed to elaborate. Theyre all three Rum Tum Tuggers trying to out Rum each others Tuggers.

Anevka. Baby. Baby girl. She was the greatest guy arouuunnnnnddd! "What about the murder?" WHAT MURDAAAHH? im a transformers fan so robot women i am absolutely not immune to. Skimbleshanks if he wore prada.

Calm is making me stop. Anyway calm needs to post transformers opinions now becauses faes been watching that in exchange for GG readings."

... Sibling is a huge fan of cats the musical

[hummingbutter]

"we're all proud of you, buddy - it's gonna be alright .."

Talkign!! vv

I would give you the world Johnny Cade... Heartbreak Hotel is blasting in the background by the way because. Maybe Baby from The Outsiders show is mine forever/silly. I think brothers got the music POPPING, and it doesn't stir him a bit because he feels safe and comfortable like he should. i think whenever one of thems sleeping on the couch, they continue with their buffoonery like usual but they wont usually make an active attempt to get them up if that makes sense and isn't normal. I feel like thats normal but anyways.

Also, even if I made that silly Jally comic, I do not like the idea that Dallas babies Johnny frequently - like I see that a lot in cutesy posts but the big brother energy radiates too hard off of him for me to visualize it internally. Dal gets pissed at Two for trying to draw a penis on Johnny's face while he's sleeping because DAL wants to be the perpetrator of that - He wants to give him a curly mustache! He wants to cackle at him when he gets up! Brother flicks hair ties at him and kicks his shins when he isn't looking just to annoy him and Johnny giggles about it!! Dal calls Johnny a doofus and a dumbass, and Johnny's the only guy who can make fun of his accent, but isn't immune from threats like!! I think Dal would make Johnny an exception to a lot of things, but I don't think that would rewrite his personality idk, with love

[tuhbanbuv]

Ode To Ouroboros Headcanons

This turned into a massive ramble but anytime I have the chance to infodump about any of my fics or AUs I will take it.

So enjoy some Ode To Ouroboros headcanons/lore because yes:

Cutman “Cutty” considers himself a cousin to the Light trio. Not exactly a sibling but not as distant as the other masters.

Blues is the closest thing you’ll get to an autistic robot master, sensory issues, not getting social cues and all before and after getting repaired.

Blues has PTSD and low self esteem from…well, everything. But he’s a better big brother than he thinks.

Rock has a crush on Bass, though it’s probably 89% not gonna be reciprocated…sorry, Rock, you can’t fix him.

Roll and Kalinka definitely have crushes on each other and it definitely started out all cutesy like a spontaneous kiss before having to part ways without another word Owl House style.

Tango was intended to be a sort of therapy animal for people with animal allergies or patients with low immunities that couldn’t risk any type of contamination. He sensed that Blues wasn’t well even when Roll repaired him in the Archie comics and helps to aid in his emotional recovery.

The twins (Rock and Roll) and Bass are 14-16, while Tempo and Blues are 17-20. Though Bass is on the older end of the 14-16 age range.

Rock has some slight resentment against Blues for leaving and coming back, especially since he still feels the weight of being Megaman is still on him despite his older brother returning. This will probably lead to things being said that he’ll regret…

Roll doesn’t hold any ill will, however. She just sees Blues as troubled and regretful for everything, and is secretly happy to get another brother. The two have a somewhat stronger relationship.

Light and Wily used to be a couple before and during Blues’ creation, but it was especially toxic on Wily’s end. Until the events of Chapter 4, Light truly believed he could’ve changed. Now any chance of them rekindling anything is long gone.

Adachi has a somewhat positive history with the Sniper Joe line, to the point they influenced a good part of their love for robots and misanthropy.

Blues knows some Spanish and Japanese, but usually sticks to Spanish.

Tempo was accidentally made tall due to a typographical error on her blueprints. She’s twice as tall as the Light siblings and doesn’t hesitate to carry her Blues any chance she gets.

Tempo and Blues got engaged shortly before the events of Ode to Ouroboros. They just figured that they’d rather do romantic stuff with each other rather than anyone else so they basically got engaged then and there. Tempo wears her ring under her glove and on her civilian form and Blues wears it as an earring so he doesn’t lose it. He does get a wedding band to wear on his new civilian form later on so people aren’t confused though.

There’s a good reason why Blues can contact X in his dreams but that’s a major spoiler. Just know that his dreams aren’t just dreams…

Roll loves fanfiction and reads it as much as she can. Light regrets introducing the internet to her.

Blues secretly looks up to Rock, but is somewhat protective of him. If anything bad happens to him he’ll immediately blame himself.

Rock and Roll introduce video games to Blues. Blues prefers slower or quieter games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon, but also enjoys rhythm games (especially with Vocaloids, his favorite is Kaito). Roll loves Kirby and Rock loves racing games. Roll has never won against her brothers during game nights.

Light thought Blues’ injuries were from his core corroding his body. He was wrong…

Blues’ scarf is his comfort item. He loves the thing dearly and will cuddle with it like it’s a baby blanket.

Blues loves music, it’s basically his coping mechanism and love language. Tempo knows this and will sing to him if he’s having a panic attack.

Tempo definitely calls Blues her “short king” and would hold him over her shoulder, bridal style, etc.

Bass (before the infection) hid a lot of his feelings underneath his ego. At one point, he was just as naive and innocent as Rock. Roll teaches Blues how to sew and bake to help distract him from his anxiety/depressing thoughts. It’s become a nice bonding activity between them.

Blues would definitely throw down if someone even remotely insulted his siblings. Any previous jealousy has been replaced with genuine love and protectiveness for the twins. He considers X a baby or son of sorts.

Guts-man is pretty much friends with everyone. Unless you’re Wily he’s nice off the bat.

Cut-man is pretty much best friends with Roll. He loves the kid and would do almost anything she’d ask. Almost, he has some standards.

Wily was planning on giving Bass a sister. Was.

[yakuzacanons]

I have a vision just let me cook

The boys being forced by their S/O to play Minecraft. I need to know how chaotic it would be

Personally I just know Majima would get his grubby little hands on TNT and start going ham

Anon, I see your vision and I love it. Ask and ye shall receive.

Also I know I've got other asks in the inbox rn, I'll get to the rest later today as I'm posting this right before an Oppenheimer/Barbie double feature. So if you've sent stuff in, fret not. I'll get to it in exactly 5 hours. Meanwhile, enjoy this post!

Kazuma Kiryu

His main motivation to play will be from seeing how much the kids enjoy it. Plus, the only thing the kids like more than playing Minecraft themselves is crowding around Kiryu as plays.

Haruka and Taichi will be doing most of the guiding here. Minecraft might've been your idea but the kids always have this magic way of explaining things to Kiryu in a way that he'll get it.

He'll totally say something sappy like "Do you want to see what I made in Minecraft for you?" and will shyly ask you to play with him once he gets the hang of it. You'll also catch him on wiki pages trying to understand what the heck he's doing.

Majima Goro

Doesn't understand a darn thing and doesn't care. Turn your back for five seconds and he's on the other side of the map doing who knows what. It's not that he doesn't want to understand how to play, he just wants to learn things his way, which is often times the hard way.

Lots of exasperated noises when he dies but before you know it he'll be back at it again. Says dumb things like "Oi babe, what's this?" while holding TNT or "Don't worry 'bout me darlin', I'm immune to creepers" before instantly dying.

Actually gets super into decorating. Maybe some part of Majima Construction carries over into his gameplay. He's also very curious about literally everything. He might grumble at first about learning to play "A silly game fulla cubes 'n shit" but he'll end up loving more than you ever expected.

Saejima Taiga

He'll refuse at first because he knows he's completely illiterate when it comes to technology and he's embarrassed to make a fool of himself in front of you. The best way to get him out of this funk is to let him watch you play for a while. Eventually his interest and his desire to do an activity with you will outweigh his nervousness.

He will require the most handholding out of all the boys. However, he will beam with such pride when he accomplishes something himself. He will even hug you with glee when he gets something right. The game is challenging for him but he loves spending the time with you.

Is the most likely to dig a hole straight down into lava and die. Poor guy, he was just excited that he finally figured out how to hit stuff and wanted to see how far down he could go.

Akiyama Shun

Has zero idea what you're talking about when you ask him to play. He'll say something like "Mine-what?!" followed by a very confused look. He's a visual learner so once he sees the game he'll be like "Ohh, I think I get it now."

He in fact does not get it. It's not that he's never played games. It's just that he didn't expect the game to have so much stuff in it. Lots of "Huh?!" or "I can do that?!" while playing.

One of the more eager boys when it comes to playing Minecraft with you. He doesn't get super embarrassed when he messes up and you both get a kick out of building a world together.

Tanimura Masayoshi

Most likely to be an experienced gamer out of all the boys. When you ask, he'll be like "Really? You wanna play video games with me?" in a rather cutesy way.

Having said that, he will still try to impress you by acting super cool in the game. If he messes it up he'll just try to play it off like "Ah, I didn't mean to do THAT".

Will provide drinks and snacks while gaming. Probably some iced tea, chips, or pocky. He's a snacky boy.

Ryuji Goda

Honestly hasn't ever really had time to explore what video games are so he'll be curious to at least give it a shot. You'll both learn very quickly that he has a short temper with games.

He does not understand the purpose of dying in games. It frustrates him. He just wants to smack around blocks and stack blocks, what's dying got to do with these blocks anyways? That's his attitude.

Once you show him the ropes, he'll get a lot calmer and the more he learns the less dying bothers him. He's the most likely to watch let's play videos out of all the boys.

Nishikiyama Akira

His interest in games is about average, as well as his knowledge when it comes to video games. When you ask him to play, he'll say something like "Heh, only because you asked me so nicely, okay?". Secretly, he likes that it's an excuse to spend time with you.

Since his skill and your skill are relatively balanced, he doesn't need much help. He thinks it's cute when you show him something you worked hard on making in Minecraft.

Out of all the boys, he's the most likely to dedicate time to building a whole world with you, down to the last detail. He's a great creative partner in Minecraft.

Daigo Dojima

He's clueless. Someone help the poor man. Last time he had time for games, he was just a kid. Since then, games have changed so much that he feels totally lost.

He uses computers some at work so to him computers are for working, not fun. When you first propose the idea, he'll be like "Games? In my work computer?" but once you show him the basics, he'll be chomping at the bit to try it out.

Daigo works so hard that he doesn't get much time for leisure, so combining that with spending time with you is a golden opportunity for him. Even when he gets frustrated or dies in game, he'll calm himself and get back in the saddle. He really wants to learn how to play this well.

Mine Yoshitaka

He will refuse to play at first, saying something like "You play honey, I'll just watch". It's not that he doesn't find the idea of playing a video game with you appealing, he's just the type of guy who's so used to upholding appearances and his reputation that he doesn't want to look stupid in front of you.

Eventually his interest will get the better of him and he'll say "Okay, show me how this works" and he'll find it cute how excited you get that he actually wants to learn how.

Slowly he'll learn that making mistakes in games are okay and not nearly as terrifying as mistakes in real life. Playing this game with you will become a great outlet for him. Also the type of guy to give you shoulder massages if you play for a long amount of time.

[yvesgender]

gimme a sec i need to talk about this !!

so i saw a long ass reblog under an anti-sylki blog that started off as something like "actually loki & sylvie has good romance chemistry meanwhile loki & mobius doesn't have any romance chemistry at all"🤓– and in this moment i went "alright best frien i'm not reading all that" then went to block instead of arguing.

didn't try reading that bullshit of a post further either just to anger myself, i know better.

i especially didn't wanna argue cuz i think that was a child..??? (assuming from the miracoulus ladybug theme cuz no adult in their right mind enjoys that trash) but if i'm wrong that just makes it worse tbh, like grown ass ppl who srsly think toxic relationships should be the example of peak romance needs their brain to be studied fr.

i usually try to be respectful for others' opinion but i genuinely can't see where this opinion comes from.

makes no goddam sense to me.

maybe it's cuz i can't view things through a heterosexual lens, maybe not.

who knows?

but...(i won't make this abt lokius but focusing more on the "loki & sylvie" part) this made me wonder like...

what do sylkie shippers even post about?

no i won't check it out myself to spare myself from the headache but do they go "omg today episode's syIkie crumbs was so lovely dovely 🥺" and the crumbs in question is them disagreeing on almost everything and sylvie wanting to avoid loki as much as she can & constantly seeming to be angry at him.

sure, in s1 they did have a couple of cutesy romantic moments like being under blankets despite of them being supposedly immune to cold or the literal kiss but, it truly doesn't take a huge analyzation to realize that this "relationship" became one sided, even in that one little moment when they had to hold hands, sylvie immidiately goes "don't overthink it" like omgggsfg💀😭 and it's also clear that loki eventually got the hint, in ep3 he doesn't try to be with her anymore or gets emotional with her, he silently gave up.

not to mention loki avoiding to mention the kiss, when appearantly the two has nothing to hide? 😕

i don't know where this is gonna be heading off but if they randomly switch up after all this character & dynamic development then i have no hope for marvel's writing team cuz that would basically create a plot hole.

like aside from the psuedo-incest, that used to bother me in season 1 era but now i am concerned more about how this "ship" overall has no appeal, yet some of these ppl genuinely thinks it can work healthily between them and that ppl who are against it are just "petty that their gay ship isn't canon" when there's MORE to this.

in season 2 there's absolutely *nothing* happening with them that would make us, the audience, root for them to be together as a couple like i'm sry.

so yeah you can say i'm doing too much and too crazy over a fictional tv show (yes i know that babes i have full self awareness) but i literally cannot stress enough about how unhealthy it is to think that this is how a good romantic chemistry works.

based on a syIkie shipper's views: we could technically say that me + that one co-worker of mine who we always have disagreements on political stuff with & dislikes me for no reason is my "lover"... since we wanna pretend this is how love works 😀😀 no?