#headspace functions

[astrostx]

they should make pants that already have a hole in the ass so my tail can stick out easier. how many more jeans do i have to ruin in order to keep my tail free from the confines of Gross Denim

[nexus-nebulae]

known we were a system for about 7 years now, probably been a system for far longer, and just realised. we got an intrusive self-fakeclaiming thought today and laughed it away

[c-infinity-83]

I haven't a clue where Concept got off to [I'm sure Concept is still around, not dormant, but it's rare to see Concept these days] and the brain has decided to make me the current Hyperfixation Gatekeeper, so. Lovely!

With that being said I have written a short essay on some headspace functions if anyone is curious about my findings. It is related to recent happenings the past few days. It is also interesting to read I promise. Probably anyway. I think this is my way of asking if anyone would be interested in me infodumping about our headspace?

[divinekangaroo]

got that **** assignment in tonight 2 days early DESPITE every possible thing that could have blown up happening during the assignment's duration

[arsenicflame]

hi so, checking in (sorry, its personal bullshit again, ill get back to the fandom stuff you actually wanted,,,, eventually)

things. are going bad. like, really bad, like last january bad. like im about to lose all my personhood again bad. im hoping its still just going to be a small blip and things will start upticking soon, but. im bracing for that not to be the case. it feels different to me

i vaguely mentioned earlier in the week taking a bit of a step back, and ive decided to extend that into a full break. my queues probably going to run out before im back, though i have slowed it down some. thatll be the only noticable difference for 99% of people. i wont guarantee any dm responses on here, but ill do my best for the couple of people who have me on discord

i didnt really want to do this again but it gets messy in my head, and ive found the best way to control the clawing beast of attention and need and the things that make me want to be a person i dont want to be is to cut it off at the source. its not nice, and it hurts, and it definitely kills the chances of making friends but. i promise you its better than the alternative.

ill see you when i see you, i guess. i hope its soon. i hope this isnt how it feels to be. i hope the feelings that have existed this week go dormant again. but itll be what itll be. i can't change that

[skin-slave]

[faenights]

I had a therapy session that centred around being kinder and more forgiving to myself which was really great! then I proceeded to miss a train and spend 3 hours crying in my car about it so maybe I need more practice on that one

[jaerie]

Woodlands Texas - July 8th, 2023 

[bluteamplural]

well, that was productive! i got to change the ink in my pen to a color more fitting myself (sorry, 🧣! your pen was too nice to resist), i refilled a spare pen with invisible ink, and i was able to start relearning the handwriting script i used in my source. not only that, i plotted out some features to add to our headspace so it's less a nebulous thing compiled from ashes of thoughts and more a functional headspace.

there's so much functioning we could be optimising here, and nobody else is taking advantage of this huge opportunity. i guess that'll be my job!

[nexus-nebulae]

kind of want to start a sideblog where we give system advice (specifically on how to gain functions/dispel disordered symptoms) but we have no clue what to call it

[nsh-real]

being a fictive of a mechanical (mostly) thingamajig is funny because human bodies and lives are fucking strange in comparison.

what do you mean something can just go wrong while you rest and youll wake up tired (not supposed to happen, sleep is for regaining energy) instead if not in low-moderate pain. i feel like ive been dragged trough multiple regions by atleast 3 lizards

it is a bit funny though. despite the inconveniences there are benefits to the body we have (like food. and access to an near infinite amount of hobbies) and i like learning how things are like

[thehealingsystem]

I wish we could switch like other systems do I feel so bad about it. im thinking maybe there's things that could be so much easier if we could just switch front

[isopodisland]

I feel like we should properly document our headspace layout at some point, since it just recently "updated" again. It would just take some time to figure out how to organize the document for ease of reading...

I may attempt to make a simple map of it, that may help.

[neverendingford]

.

[wellthatschaotic]

hggg. the Problems

[unravelingwires]

Medulla

I learned, as a kid, that most of the noticeable symptoms of illness are your body’s natural responses. For a time, that felt ironic, and then I tried to convince myself that it was powerful: the viruses couldn’t harm me, but I could. Nowadays, it’s just a background fact of life. Fever, snot, sneezing to kill off the microscopic. Crying to beat back the fear. Writing to stave off the gray.

(People call me dramatic, a lot, and I do my best to own it.)

I get sick so often, one would think I’d get used to it. And I’m getting better: I can work with a low-grade fever, keep typing through my migraines, speak with a sore throat until my voice goes out. I once burst into tears the day before an exam, begging my TA for an extension, and when she told me no, I went home, ate, studied for three hours, slept, ate, then studied for eight hours more.

(Is that true? I’ve done such things for certain, but I can never remember exact incidents.)

Here’s something fun: most of the little things that get you through a bit of sickness actually make things worse. Blowing your nose, taking a cough drop, putting on band-aids. I’ve also heard that exercise can lessen symptoms, and of course you need to eat healthy and well. My mom was really strict about how many pills I took as a kid. Nowadays, I always forget you’re allowed to take your prescribed migraine medication.

(I don’t know how much of that is true. Then again, it doesn’t really matter: true or not, if there’s a way to make things go faster…)

I dreamed of drowning, in high school, then found lucidity to wake myself from nightmares. Nowadays, I get trapped in cycles of lucidity and dreaming until I gasp myself awake.

(My mom says I was born blessed. My teachers tell me I was born privileged. I’m lucky, when it comes down to it. I’m always a little sick, but never enough to stop. I wake up gasping, but never screaming. I’m lucky.)