#half-arsing is a skill and i do desperately need to learn it

[divinekangaroo]

got that **** assignment in tonight 2 days early DESPITE every possible thing that could have blown up happening during the assignment's duration

[mugiwara-rosewolf]

Alphabet Headcanons

One Piece Edition

Portgas D. Ace

SFW

A= Affection (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

Ace is a charismatic, kind-hearted man, and with an s/o he’s the consummate gentleman. Especially in the beginning, Ace will check in to see/find out what’s okay with you and what’s not.

For example, let’s say the two of you are walking down the street at a village market. If you feel his pinky twine with yours, the motion will be quickly followed by his warm breath murmuring in your ear; “Is this okay?”

Needless to say, if you reply by intertwining your hand entirely with his, Ace will be over-the-moon and beaming for the rest of the trip. If twining pinkies is all you can handle in public, that’s okay too. Ace will still be happy knowing that you trust him with your boundaries.

Once he knows you’re okay with physical affection, little gestures like these will slowly become the norm. He’ll hold your hand everywhere if you let him. He loves kissing every inch of your face when you’re looking especially cute.

The closer the two of you become, the more he’ll want to show how much he loves you. Whether it’s wrapping an arm around your waist/shoulders, or a fleeting kiss on the cheek--if you allow it, PDA will quickly become one of his favourite things.

As for when he wants affection from you--it’s a bit of a coin toss as to whether he’ll let on how he’s feeling. He usually hides his bad moods pretty well. But what you’ll learn over time is that he often looks for affection when he’s feeling down.

Sometimes he’ll ask to hold your hand or go in for a hug (often silently, he does tend to get quiet on these kinds of days) and has a hard time letting go once you do. In public, he’ll often opt for the former, because in private he won’t have to let go of you unless you ask him to. 

Other times it’s him just giving you a look. In public, he plays it off as a ‘suave’ eyebrow lift, like an open invite from Casanova. (Though the smile typically gives him away--he’s not always as smooth as he wants to be). In private, it’s the infamous sad, silent, yearning puppy-dog eyes following you around (you know it’s a real bad day when he’s just staring off into space with that look on his face).

All in all, Ace is a very tactile, and affectionate partner. But he will always be sure to confirm what kinds of gestures you’re comfortable with so as not to overwhelm you. He wants you to be comfortable and enjoy his loving gestures whenever possible.

B=Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Okay, there are two sure-fire ways to really impress this boi. 

First is with your kickass skills. If you can match him or beat him at something, this man will definitely take notice. It could be a physical skill, maybe matching him in a fighting or eating contest. It could be verbal skill--like when you’re roasting his arse for his damned-reckless behaviour. Either way is damn sure to capture Fire Fist’s attention. 

Second would be the smaller, more intimate things. Take his narcolepsy for example. When accommodating for Ace’s narcoleptic episodes, it tugs at his heartstrings when you lay his sleeping head on your shoulder, or bring him down to your lap. When he wakes up to your gorgeous smile and your fingers combing through his hair, he falls in love all over again.

C=Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

Honestly, all types of cuddles are Ace’s favorite, he’s just not the type to say so out loud. 

That’s not to say he’s ashamed of his tactile nature. On the contrary,  Ace is especially partial to cuddling you and giving you surprise hugs.

Hugging you from behind when you’re in the middle of a conversation and stuff like that are completely fair game unless you request otherwise. Sometimes he’ll place the faintest of kisses on your forehead as you cuddle into his embrace.

No matter what though, Ace radiates heat. So even just sitting together side by side you can feel how warm his thigh is against your own. He doesn’t really bother to regulate his body temperature either unless someone else points it out. 

But even then, it’s harder for Ace to relax if he has to concentrate on managing his body temperatures. So, cuddles with Ace are always hot. Which…usually means you both end up cuddling or falling asleep with the duvet shoved under you or to the side of you because the heat is too much.

Once he becomes comfortable enough (and ensures that you’re okay with it) there’ll be some nights where he’s just clingy. Sometimes draping himself over your back, sometimes clinging to your torso like a koala cub. He feels comfortable and safe when he can take a nap resting against you. It’s actually kinda cute. 

The only issue is when he falls asleep on top of you and you can’t get him off. He’s basically a human furnace so you just suffer there until he either wakes up or someone comes around to help you.

When he’s having a particularly bad day he gives you The Look (as mentioned in A for Affection) and you know what it means in an instant.

D=Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

“I’ll become a great pirate and show them what I can do!” That’s what Ace declared to his brothers as a child. And in some ways, it could be said he fulfilled that childhood dream. He became the infamous ‘Fire Fist’ Ace--known all across the world in one way or another, even before Blackbeard blabbed about his parentage. He made a name for himself, by himself just as he always dreamed he would.

Yes, his purpose did change upon meeting Whitebeard; wanting his new captain and father figure to become the next Pirate King in order to prove how great a man he was. 

That being said, I can imagine Ace’s dreams evolving yet again when he meets his s/o. Both of the aforementioned goals/dreams are ambitious, but one key commonality between them is that they both seek to Prove something. Therefore it would make sense to presume that the next evolution of his ‘dream’ would share the same foundation.

At the beginning of your relationship, for example, it’s quite possible that Ace’s goal would be to prove that he is worthy of being your partner or to prove how much he loves you in some tangible way.

He dreams of all the ways he can make you smile and laugh and ensure that you’re happy with him. 

He dreams of all the moments you’ve ever said ‘I love you’ and how he could find a way to hear those words again.

He dreams of all the times he’s told you that he loves you and all the possible occasions where he can hold you close and tell you over and over again.

He dreams of returning to Dawn Island, to Fuchsia Village and the mountains where he was raised so he can show you all his childhood memories. 

He dreams of sailing with you and the Whitebeards for the rest of his days. He dreams of proving he can make you happy, in any way that manifests.

In other words—what it all boils down to, truly, is—Ace dreams of being alive  Happy with you.

E=Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

One thing we all know about Ace is that he doesn’t do things half-assed. EVER. 

This boy is dedicated. Once he sets his mind to something, Fire Fist will always follows through (a trait which can turn deadly when combined with his short temper and impulsivity). 

Point being, if Ace wants your relationship to work, he will make it work. Whatever it takes. 

Don’t let his playful charm fool you. Ace is a gentleman who takes your relationship seriously, always treating you with the utmost politeness and respect. 

He’ll open doors for you, he’ll *try* not to swear in front of you (good luck, pirate)--and knowing him the gestures just get more ridiculous from there.

He just wants to show you that he values you and your relationship. The only other people who are of equal value to him are his little brother Luffy and his father Whitebeard. 

All the same, Ace has committed himself to love you, protect you and to make you happy no matter what it takes. 

F=Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

Ace is impulsive and protective. Whatever it is that scares you, Ace’s first instinct is to tackle it head-on. Nothing’s gonna hurt you, not while he’s around.

At his core, Ace is worried about you. When he sees your fear, he acts without thinking, immediately responding to anything that makes his blood boil. And nothing lights him up faster than his loved ones being insulted and/or threatened.

Fire Fist (with serious effort) can learn to take a step back when he thinks you’re strong enough to handle a particular threat/fear. 

But the moment he thinks you might actually get hurt, all bets are off. He can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt if he can do something to prevent it. This man will die to protect his loved ones. End of story.

G=Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Ace is not a terribly materialistic person, especially not by pirate standards. (He doesn’t even own a shirt, for God’s sake!)

But the things he does own, mean a hell of a lot to him. (Striker, anyone? Stetson, maybe?) 

So, in that way, finding gifts to give him is kinda challenging. You can’t really get away with the first little trinket that makes you think of him. It needs to be something of hefty significance. 

He doesn’t expect any gifts from you, not even on his birthday. He’ll always be surprised when people get him things. He’s surprised that people value him. 

Due to personal trauma, he doesn’t think very highly of himself. He desperately wants to prove himself a worthwhile part of other’s lives. He wants to be helpful--he needs to be needed. 

So when he’s searching for a gift to give you--he ends up having the same struggle you do with him. He wants to give you something really meaningful. Which is why a lot of his gifts to you will be handmade instead of bought. In each one you’ll be able to see the time and effort he committed to making it for you. 

If one thing can be said about Ace, whatever he goes for, he does so to the fullest.

H=Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

He may not always initiate them, but the boi loves hugs. If you’re comfortable with PDA, he’s definitely adding ‘Hugs’ to his repertoire of affectionate gestures. 

But even more than giving hugs, Ace finds love and gratification in receiving hugs from his s/o--especially when he’s having a tough time (See A for Affection).

Ace knows that he is a tactile person. It’s a truth of his personality that he knows and accepts, but doesn’t often flaunt without reason to do so. Finding his s/o, for example, gives him the perfect opportunity to express this part of himself. 

The second division commander is especially partial to cuddling you and giving you surprise hugs. Tossing an arm over your shoulder, tucking an arm around your waist, Hugging you from behind when you’re in the middle of a conversation--all this stuff is fair game unless you request otherwise (See C for Cuddles).

He especially loves those full-frontal Bear-hugs. You know the kind--the ones where both of you are swathed in each other’s embrace. Arms wrapped around each other, heartbeats pressed together, chins tucked into each other’s shoulders/chests/chins--(trying to accommodate for all heights here, bear with me). 

The point being, Ace loves the moments when the two of you are completely intertwined. That’s when he feels the most grounded. Certain in the fact that he is here, and he is loved. 

Oh! And one more thing. Ace gets surprisingly flustered if you hug him first--sometimes to the point where part of him accidentally catches fire--he’s super careful not to burn you, though. 

But when he hears your contented sigh--god forbid you nuzzle into him--the man just melts. All of his protests fall away, and he’s left standing there, tenderly wrapping his arms around you with the softest love-struck smile in the world.

I=Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

Ace is a romantic at heart, of that you can be sure. 

But, he also has deeply internalized abandonment issues and fear of rejection. His father chose to die before he was born. His mother died not long after he was born. Almost everyone who’s ever become attached to him has either died or not stuck around long enough to meet that same fate. 

Not only that but all throughout his life, Ace has been subject to degradation. Strangers saying that his father was a demon and that ‘the child of the Pirate King’ was nothing more than worthless spawn destined to be just as bad--if not worse--than Roger himself. 

As a result, Ace thinks that he is cursed, a worthless son of a demon who will be rejected and abandoned as soon as others learn of his parentage.

So, prior to him sharing his family history with you, Ace will definitely struggle with intimacy. He’s frightened of being vulnerable in case his expectations/fears come true...that you will think just as little of him as he does of himself.  

As his feelings towards you grow, the more those deep-seated fears will swirl in his mind; 

‘If I tell them who I am, they’ll leave me.’

‘They’ll hate me.’ 

‘It’s no use, the moment I fall, they’ll either leave me or die trying.’ 

‘I don’t know which is worse.’  

It’s going to take a lot in order to get through to him. You’ll need to be patient--you can start small and maybe ask about what he wants for the future, or sprinkle in little tidbits about the present, instead of wallowing in the past. You can pave a path forward together just by talking plainly about what you want from your growing relationship.  

As your mutual trust builds, Ace will slowly start to unwind. The more time you spend together, you’ll start to feel each other ‘sync up’ with teamwork and such. He’ll start to grow more comfortable sharing his ideas and opinions, even if the two of you disagree on something. Over time it may get to the point where you and Ace are both acting or speaking at the same time. (Ace finds it endearing, don’t worry). 

Once Ace knows that he can be his true self around you--that you won’t reject or abandon him because of his ‘monstrous’ parentage/lack of worth--he’ll grow more comfortable trusting you, sharing his thoughts and feelings with you. And in return, he will wordlessly swear to consistently support you and keep your secrets just as you’ve kept his. 

All throughout the growth of intimacy in your relationship, if you pay close attention, you’ll see slow growth in the number of romantic/intimate moments between the two of you. As the intimacy between you grows stronger, you’ll be able to feel its presence--something that brings peace and rejuvenation to both your souls. A bond that is unique to your relationship and allows you both to relax and be at ease. 

At first, moments like this are rare, probably in part because of Ace’s genuine responsibilities to the Whitebeards as a division commander. But as your relationship grows, you’ll notice Ace begin to commit himself more and more to making time for the two of you. Eating meals with you, a lingering hug and kiss at the end of each day and--if he can swing it--arranging a genuinely romantic ‘date’ between the two of you. 

Ace will definitely dance with you out of nowhere. He’ll take your hand and twirl you around just to hear your surprised laughter. As mentioned many times before, Ace will take any excuse to touch his s/o affectionately throughout the day, not just when either of you wants to be romantic. He wants to give you all of his attention whenever he can. Whenever you want to talk to him, expect direct eye contact, perked ears and an affectionate smile.

Though he greatly enjoys PDA with you, Ace also likes the intimacy that comes from privacy. Those moments when he knows you are both in a safe space and can share your feelings with one another, even uncomfortable ones. Privacy also gives him the space to be truly intimate with you, so that he can learn the way you like to be held and touched. He wants to learn about you just as you took the time to learn about him.

J=Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Oof. Okay. Yes, Ace does get jealous. And he’s exactly the kinda jealous you’d think of when the word pops up. There are two, maybe three big traits working against Ace in this regard. 

One would be his reckless and fiery temper. This is the trait that sent him on a deadly goose chase to capture Teach. His mercurial emotions lead him to make hasty, impulsive decisions, sometimes to the point of blatantly forgoing reason. This trait leads to your typical abrupt Alpha-Male confrontation with whatever stranger is trying to flirt with you. 

Second would be his wolf-like protectiveness. This is the trait Akainu used to goad him to his death, first by mocking Whitebeard then by targeting Luffy. Ace can be very protective, though he struggles trying not to be overbearing. If you’re capable of handling a situation yourself, he’ll try his best to stand back and leave it to you.

But, if he feels a situation is getting out of control, he’ll come to your aid in the blink of an eye—literally guns blazing. If Ace hears someone saying lewd comments about you or notices anyone targeting you--ya’ll better believe this man is gonna say/do something about it. 

Third, and perhaps the most powerful motivator in this scenario, is his deep-rooted insecurity. This is a man who has been questioning his worth, his very existence, for as long as he can remember. 

Then you come along, someone who makes this life worthwhile, and he sees you ‘getting comfy’ with someone else. It makes him angry, sure. But more than that it hurts--makes him a question and doubt all over again.

Thus, we have jealousy. Needless to say, Ace will not be thinking clearly when he confronts whoever is getting too close to you. He will be angry and protective and irrational. 

So, unfortunately, it will be up to you to de-escalate things and keep some sort of fight from breaking out. You’ll be the one to pull him away and get him to calm down. You’ll be the one to explain the situation, to talk him through what he’s feeling and why he feels that way. He’ll tell you the truth, you two will make amends (and hopefully plan in case of future incidents). 

Fair warning, in order to fully console your fiery partner, be prepared to give a whole lot of affection and reassurances. And patience, always patience--goodness knows this man is trying his best to be good. Please, grant him grace.

K=Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

Fair warning, it’s likely Ace would have had at least a few flings before you. He’s a handsome, charming guy—guys like him are like flypaper, attracting all the honey’s in a given radius. And with the company he keeps (PIRATES) he’s bound to have spent a night (or ten) in a brothel-esque setting.

All that to say, this man has experience. Not as much as Marco or the other Whitebeards, but still, a little experience counts for something, right?

At the very least, Ace will be a fantastic partner when it comes to kissing, 9 times out of 10, his kisses are either passionate & enthusiastic or affectionate & goofy, especially with an s/o. 

Yes, Ace likes to kiss you, the frequency is irrelevant. Yes, casual PDA is pretty commonplace with him, he fucking loves it. But anything heavier than a peck? He typically prefers to keep that between you and him. 

He is WAY too embarrassed to make out in public. Makino’s manners-lessons are ingrained too deeply by now, even if his s/o is purposefully driving him crazy. --He’s not opposed to a quickie in a broom closet or anything of the sort; just as long the two of you are out of plain view when snogging and such. If you two have at least some modicum of privacy in those more heated moments, Ace considers it fair game. 

The only two exceptions are when he’s feeling playful ‘bet you a hundred berries I can take your breath away’ or jealous ‘you are my treasure, those damned bastards better back off’ —those are his two very different kinds of showing off. 

L=Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

Honestly? He’s a little bit of both. 

Whenever Ace says “I love you,” those words are meant for your ears and your ears only. He doesn’t say them all that often, either. 

The more frequent sign of his affection, you’ll realize, is his peculiarly ‘discrete’ flirtations. Murmuring little comments/compliments whenever you cross paths;

 “Great job! You were wonderful back there, darlin’.” 

“That a new hat? Sexy.”

 “You look handsome/beautiful, my love.” 

and of course the obligatory “Last night was *spectacular*”

And it only gets more endearingly ridiculous from there. 

With the help of a bit of alcohol, Ace is plenty more affectionate towards you. He’ll shower you with compliments, make flirtatious jokes, and basically smother you with love. For example, say some of the crew are fawning over someone beautiful like Dracule Mihawk or Boa Hancock. Ace might joke with them, but the moment no one’s looking he’ll murmur in your ear;

 “The Greatest Swordsman ain’t half as sharp as you, babe.” 

or “The Pirate Empress ain’t got nothin’ on you, darlin’,” 

any reaction you might have will be met with a wink and a smirk.

At the start of every day--if he doesn’t say how he looks forward to seeing you again before he leaves, he’ll always acknowledge how much you mean to him-- “I love you.”

M=Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

When he first set out to sea? Ace had no intention of getting married. Falling in love, getting married--the only thing he associated all that with was settling down. ‘Settling down’ in his mind meant the opposite of freedom. So of course none of that ever occurred to him. Having been raised in the wild with only his little brother to love, Ace always assumed that ‘Falling in Love’ was something that happened to other people, not to him. 

As the years went on, Ace’s insecurities also played a role in this misconception--after all, who would want to fall in love with a demon-child like him? The son of the monstrous pirate king could never be loved by a stranger. Even if he did learn to care for someone that way, the moment they learned who he was, they’d betray him in some way. Maybe they’d leave him, turn him in, try to kill him; somehow the world would try to punish him for trusting someone, just like it did with Sabo.

So, even after he builds his own crew, joins the White-beards, even after he gains some experience pub-crawling with the WB Commanders, emotionally he keeps his distance from romance.  That is...until he meets his s/o. Everything about his relationship with you is completely unexpected. He knows that you like him, he knows that you trust him. You took the time to support and get to know him--something not many people in his life had done to such an extent. 

Suddenly, his entire perspective on love is turned on its head. He still doesn’t really give two shits about the institution of marriage. The whole ceremonial pomp and circumstance bit doesn’t really vibe with him. But the idea of you two staying together for the rest of your lives? That he can get behind.

N=Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

Honestly, unless someone else brought it up, Ace probably wouldn’t think to do anything fancy for a date. If you were with him and the Whitebeards as they landed on a carnival island or something he could certainly make a date out of it. But unfortunately for your resident hot-head, he doesn’t have much of a propensity of planning ahead. He’s a lot like his little brother in that way--outside of the battlefield, he’s a little bit of a dumbass.

Like, let’s say you land on an island that’s having some sort of cultural festival. The first thing Ace would do is dive head first to plunder all the food-stands, leaving you to trail behind and pay for the mess he made. After he’s had his fill, then you can get properly dressed (if necessary) and enjoy the rest of what the island has to offer. At that point, Ace would remember something besides his hollow leg and try to make up for his embarrassment. 

Good thing he has *the best* wingmen a pirate could ask for; Marco and Thatch. Marco has those empathetic sensibilities, if he’s met you before, then he has a pretty good intuition for the kinds of things you’d like. And Thatch, with that classic pompadour, knows how to put a romantic spin on just about anything. Hell, even Izo would put in his two cents more often than not.  He’d be more than willing to be a co-conspirator, guiding you to through the dates they plan for you and Ace without spoiling the surprise.

Thanks to friends like that, you and Ace get the crow’s next to yourself at least once a month, enjoying a picnic Thatch made for the two of you and basking in each other’s company under the stars. After a while, you might just be able to mark the dates on a calendar. But you don’t mind, Ace enjoys intimacy that comes from privacy. Those moments when he knows you are both in a safe space and can share your feelings with one another, even uncomfortable ones. And besides, the night sky seems to give Ace a certain peace of mind, so it’s all worth it.

O=Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

As mentioned before, Ace doesn’t often plan romantic happenings ahead of time. Mostly because he’s kinds clueless in that department. The most he knows how to do is those little tender gestures; Eating meals with you, a lingering hug and kiss at the end of each day, things like that. He wants to give you all of his attention whenever he can, but he’s not always the best at those big romantic dates. That kind of stuff either occurs by happenstance, or thanks to the orchestrations of friends. 

So whenever Ace does take romantic initiative--unprompted--you bet your bottom dollar it’s gonna be extraordinary. After all, this is Ace we’re talking about. When talking about elaborate activities spent away from the daily routine, the first thing his mind will jump to is Adventure. Nature hikes, scavenger hunts, stargazing on a mountaintop, all the roller coasters at a given carnival--the list goes on.

A lot of these ‘adventures’ will result in him giving you little ‘gifts’ as well; a bouquet of wildflowers he collected on your hike, a scavenger hunt ending in all your favorite things, a plush he spend God knows how many berries on to win for you. The gestures would only get more endearingly ridiculous from there. Granted, a lot of his gifts to you will be handmade instead of bought. But now matter how they were earned, in each one you’ll be able to see the time and effort he committed to making it for you (See G for Gifts).

Ooh! Ace will definitely dance with you out of nowhere. He’ll take your hand and twirl you around just to hear your surprised laughter. Ace will take any excuse to touch his s/o affectionately throughout the day, not just when either of you wants to be romantic (See I for Intimacy).

P=Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

There is no doubt about it. Ace is a complete and utter goofball. Therefore, he is also the goofy-type of lover.  If you ever blush at his teasing, Ace will absolutely relish in it. He’ll find it so adorable that he’s rolling around on the floor. The mental image of your flustered face would be absolutely priceless to him. In all honesty, he’d probably try to experiment from there--see what kinds of teases or compliments get the greatest reaction out of you. 

He does have some empathy for you, though. When Ace was younger he’d act the exact same way. Makino would lovingly tease him and he’d get all flustered too--definitely a shy boy. He loves to joke around and playfully tease his s/o, but at the end of the day, he’s always a sweetheart.

The funny thing about Ace is, the boy loves to not only tease you but to show off. The damned pirate is always trying new tricks with his powers at the most inopportune times. Literally the first thing he thought of when he got his Fire-power was ‘Oh my god, Luffy’s gonna love this!’ Now, the same applies to his s/o. He can’t wait to show you just what he can do. Whenever you are fighting Marines, if he beats one of them up, he always looks up at you and grins. 

Another thing to keep in mind is--regardless of what stage your relationship is in--Ace likes to drag you into his shenanigans. As mentioned earlier, Ace is an gung-ho adventurer. Plundering food stands, conquering roller coasters, this boy has a lot of energy. And if there’s not adventures to be had on a given day, what better way to release it than make himself and his friends laugh?

You need to be prepared for some risk, though. It’s no mystery that Ace is an adrenaline junkie and can have reckless/stupid ideas. Sometimes you both might end up hurt because of his bad decisions. 

Sometimes he’s a sweetheart, sometimes he’s an asshole. But whatever ruckus you got involved in, somehow you always end up happy and smiling.

Q=Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

This is an aspect of your relationship with Ace that develops slowly over time. At first, there’s that goofy, overly-polite layer of him that doesn’t think ahead enough to bother asking questions. At this stage of your connection he behaves in a way similar to the adage that says; ‘Better to ask for forgiveness than permission’. He won’t ask your opinion before he does something, but he may come to you afterwards, either to apologize or reflect on whatever he did. 

After peeling back that layer, you’ll find the lingering remains of his tsundere childhood roots. That lost, self-hating child so desperate to prove his worth and strength that he doesn’t want to be vulnerable to anyone. The boy with whose expression was a stony brick wall deflecting the rest of the world. This is how you’ll know, there’s a part of him believes that showing uncertainty is a sign of vulnerability, something others can mock and degrade, just as the bandits and so many others did. 

At that stage of your connection, it’s a bit of a coin toss as to whether he’ll let on how he’s feeling. He usually hides his bad moods pretty well. By the time the two of you come together, he’s mature enough to realize that scathing retorts are not the answer to everything. He’s no longer the kind to immediately lash out when someone asks him too many questions--but he certainly will if pushed too far.

But what you’ll learn over time is that he often looks for affection when he’s feeling down. Sometimes he’ll ask to hold your hand or go in for a hug and has a hard time letting go once you do. Other times it’s him just giving you a look. A lot of these gestures are often silent; he does tend to get quiet on these kinds of days. But it’s the first sign of him opening up to you. 

In public, he plays it off as a ‘suave’ eyebrow lift, like an open invite from Casanova. The smile typically gives him away--he’s not always as smooth as he wants to be. In private, it’s the infamous sad, silent, yearning puppy-dog eyes following you around. You know it’s a real bad day when he’s just staring off into space with that look on his face (See A for Affection). 

Once Ace knows that he can be his true self around you--that you won’t reject or abandon him because of his ‘monstrous’ parentage/lack of worth--he’ll grow more comfortable trusting you, sharing his thoughts and feelings with you. And in return, he will wordlessly swear to consistently support you and keep your secrets just as you’ve kept his (See I for Intimacy). 

In short, yes, Ace will eventually come to rely on you, quite closely, in fact. He will learn that he can ask your opinion on things, that he can share his own thoughts and feelings freely with you at anytime. But it’s a long, arduous journey for him to reach that level of trust. Showing that you love and trust him; asking his opinion on things, standing by him through thick and thin--those are a sure-fire way to build that faithful trust in your relationship.

R=Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

Spontaneity is Ace’s middle name (lol). It comes with the territory of being an impulsive, hot-headed dumbass with a penchant for adrenaline and adventure. There are seeds of it scattered throughout his personality and his relationship with you.

Ace will dance with you out of nowhere. He’ll take your hand and twirl you around just to hear your surprised laughter (See I for Intimacy). 

He’ll take any excuse to give you surprise hugs. Tossing an arm over your shoulder, tucking an arm around your waist, Hugging you from behind when you’re in the middle of a conversation--all this stuff is fair game unless you request otherwise (See C for Cuddles).

That combined with his peculiarly ‘discrete’ flirtations--never fail to take you by surprise (See L for Love). 

It’s no mystery that Ace is an adrenaline junkie and can have reckless/stupid ideas. Our resident hot-head doesn’t have much of a propensity for planning ahead. Regardless of what stage your relationship is in--Ace is going to drag you into his shenanigans (See P for Playful).  

And whenever Ace does take romantic initiative--unprompted--you never know what you’re gonna get. Could be nature hikes, could be scavenger hunts, could be stargazing on a mountaintop, or it could be just all the roller coasters at a given carnival (See O for Out of the Ordinary). Honestly, the possibilities are endless.

S=Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Oh, this one varies. A lot. 

First, there’s Ace’s narcolepsy, which very much affects the way he sleeps with his s/o. Hell, it affects the way he lives his life. But, one inadvertent positive of Ace’s narcolepsy, was how you could surprise him with those small, intimate moments of affection. If he falls asleep hugging you from behind, then he’d just stand there snoring with his chin propped on top of you head (depending on your height). 

If he fell asleep sitting next to you, you could let him rest his head on your shoulder, or pull him down into your lap. That’s one thing he loves, waking up to you. It tugs at his heartstrings when you lay his sleeping head on your shoulder, or bring him down to your lap. When he wakes up to your gorgeous smile and your fingers combing through his hair, he falls in love all over again (See B for Breath).

Second, Portgas D. Ace is a human fucking furnace so honestly, he’s always gonna be warm. The way you sleep together is gonna depend on how much you need that heat. 

If you and Ace are parked on a winter island, you bet your bottom dollar the two of you are gonna be clinging to each other for dear life. Not that Ace necessarily needs any more body heat in order to keep warm. He’s just taking advantage of this prime opportunity for cuddles. He can cling to you like a koala and you’ll actually welcome the gesture. It’s a dream come true!

If you and Ace are parked on a summer/desert island? That’s a whole other debacle. Summer islands are always hot. It’s just a matter of whether it’s dry heat or humid heat. With dry heat--you could *probably* get away with spooning? Or at least with one person lying on the other’s chest. With humid heat--everything is damp, warm, sticky and being near human skin is almost miserable. Your best bet is holding hands while facing each other in your cot/cabin/tent wherever you are. Desert islands are an exception to this because deserts often get pretty chilly once the sun goes down. This is where spooning becomes *most* likely. 

Beyond those two extremes, almost any position is fair game. Ace loves it when he’s in your lap and you’re playing with his hair. There are happy days, where he loves to be the ‘big spoon’ and nuzzle himself in the crook of your neck. And there are hard days, where his mind is a minefield and he just needs someone to hold him close. He loves lying face to face, weaving his fingers between yours. Could be any kind of day, doesn’t matter to him. What matters is that he can just relax and admire you, and just how lucky he is to have you. 

But maybe, just maybe, he does have a favorite way to hold you. Of all the ways in the world to hold someone, Ace loves when you lie on top of him. With your head on his chest, you can feel his heartbeat under your ear. And just like his heartbeat is to you, your weight is an anchor. I can feel you, know that you’re there, present and loving--always loving. So yea, that’s probably his favorite way to be.

T=Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

Given time, Ace will come to trust you with everything he has. But, as mentioned before, it is a very long, slow and arduous journey to reach that point. Luffy had to endure weeks, if not months, of Ace trying to lose his tail, if not actively trying to kill him, before they reached a point of mutual trust. From then on, Ace was willing to protect his brother with everything he had--including his own life. 

But before you can get to that point, you must assuage his deeply internalized abandonment issues and fear of rejection. All throughout his life, Ace has been subject to degradation. He grew up internalizing the hate directed his way, and no one knew to contradict it. Almost everyone who’s ever become attached to him has either died or not stuck around long enough to meet that same fate (See I for Intimacy). 

As a result, Ace has a lot of self-hatred accumulated in his heart. He also has a lot of problems being open about it. He’s so used to shouldering mistakes that are not his own. His blood carries all the crimes of Gol D. Roger, the Pirate King. He’s frightened of being vulnerable in case his expectations/fears come true...that you will think just as little of him as he does of himself.

Ace will definitely struggle with trusting you. This is an aspect of your relationship with Ace that develops slowly over time. At first, there’s that goofy, overly-polite layer of him; he’s cordial, charming, and fun to be around. But it’s hard to get a clear read on him at that point; who he is, how he thinks, and how his thoughts influence his actions (See Q for Questions). 

After peeling back that layer, you’ll find the lingering remains of his tsundere childhood roots. That lost, self-hating child so desperate for a reason to live. He tells the world that he wants to be remembered. He wants to prove that he, as an individual, is worth more than the legacy of his father. But that dream, that grand ambition, also translates itself in smaller ways. He wants to be wanted, needs to be needed. 

At that stage of your connection, it’s a bit of a coin toss as to whether he’ll confide in you. He’s no longer the kind to immediately lash out when someone asks him too many questions--but he certainly will if pushed too far. Even then, he’s not likely to explicitly tell you this deep-rooted need in the core of him. So it’s likely something you’ll have to learn by observing his words, his actions, his being (See Q for Questions). 

However, with you around--especially when your relationship becomes more stable and long-standing--he slowly breaks.  As your mutual trust builds, Ace will slowly start to unwind. The more time you spend together, you’ll start to feel each other ‘sync up’ with teamwork and such. He’ll start to grow more comfortable sharing his ideas and opinions, even if the two of you disagree on something (See I for Intimacy).   

That being said, once Ace knows that he can be his true self around you--that you won’t reject or abandon him because of his ‘monstrous’ parentage/lack of worth--he’ll grow more comfortable trusting you, sharing his thoughts and feelings with you. And in return, he will wordlessly swear to consistently support you and keep your secrets just as you’ve kept his (See I for Intimacy). 

In short, yes, Ace will eventually come to rely on you, quite closely, in fact. He will learn that he can ask your opinion on things, that he can share his own thoughts and feelings freely with you at anytime. But it’s a long, arduous journey for him to reach that level of trust. Showing that you love and trust him; asking his opinion on things, standing by him through thick and thin--those are a sure-fire way to build that faithful trust in your relationship. With your constant support, he becomes more confident and calm--and he’s definitely sure he is loved.

U=Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

Oh, so many things. Ace is such a unique combination of character traits, sometimes it’s difficult to articulate just how they call fit together in one human being. 

As an s/o, Ace is cordial, charming, and ever-the respectful gentleman. Then you get to know him, and he becomes this goofy dumbass who will take any excuse to touch you, hold you and take you on these crazy adventures exploring the world together. Dive even deeper, and you discover the utter depth of him. He is a vulnerable soul who has internalized the worst of the world he was born into--yet he stills finds reason to smile. 

What makes Ace unique as an s/o? His resilience. If you two come to a disagreement, he may lose his temper in the moment. But give him time, give him patience, give him grace, and he will come back to you. No matter his fears, no matter his doubts, he will find a reason to push through. If one thing can be said about Ace, whatever he goes for, he does so to the fullest (See E for Effort).

That’s not to say resilience can’t be a double-edged sword. There are a few coping mechanisms Ace developed in order to persevere through life that actually inhibited his ability to connect with people the way he longed to. After all, how many times did Whitebeard have to deflect Ace before the boy understood that he didn’t have to fight his way through life? And how many times did Luffy have to almost-die chasing the lonely boy through the jungle before he finally accepted the company? 

All the same, if you remain just as stubborn as he is, you will give him yet another reason to get back up; another reason to live. Take this hypothetical argument as an example. It may take a few tries to get through his thick skull, but he you will eventually talk things out and come to a resolution. He’ll grow from the experience and the two of you will be all the stronger for it. That’s what perseverance and resilience is all about.

V=Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

If you were ever vulnerable around Ace, he would support you wholeheartedly. If you were to get stuck in your own negative thoughts/feelings about yourself, he’d hold you as close as possible and refuse to let go until you admit you’re a good person. No matter what you say about your past/insecurities, Ace won’t judge you or let you feel as though you deserve any of the trauma you went through (big or small). He knows that you are better than you think you are and he won’t let you feel the same kind of self-loathing he has. 

Ace is a very outgoing man. He’s surrounded by countless friends and keeps making new ones every day. There’s something in his exceptional charisma that makes people cling to him. However, Ace does not open up easily to others. It would take a while for Ace to really open up to his s/o, just because he’s internalized all of his negative thoughts and feelings about himself from a young age. 

Over time, however, he’d slowly grow to trust you and one night, when it’s just the two of you together somewhere, Ace would just tell you what’s on his mind. “Sometimes I don’t think I deserve you--your love--or anyone’s really.” 

The conversation would turn into the two of you opening up to each other (equivalent exchange for the win!) Ace would tell you about all the things weighing him down; his father being Gol D. Roger, his mother dying to keep him safe from the World Government, being called a ‘Demon-child’ all his life, his time in the mountains with Luffy and Sabo, meeting Whitebeard and joining the family--all of it. 

By the end of his story, tears soak his cheeks, his lips are red and raw, his voice hoarse and his words thick with emotion. He looks like a mess and you won’t know how to fix it. The best you can do is hold him, guide him through it. 

The conversation would likely end with both of you promising to support each other from then on. Whenever one of you starts to feel insecure or lingers too much on the past, you’ll have a keyword to communicate how you’re feeling. 

He might not acknowledge ever being in this state later on, but he will thank you quietly that night--and every night after if you’ll let him. “Thank you...thank you for loving me.”

W=Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Ace does not share food. EVER.

His narcolepsy makes him fall asleep in the weirdest situations--and in the weirdest positions. You can’t possibly count the number of times you fell to the ground because he dozed off while carrying you on his shoulders.

Or because he does it mid-kiss or hug and just leans on you. Or because he trips and accidentally knocks you down. He’s not even ashamed of it--unless you get hurt somehow during these incidents--otherwise he’ll just laugh it off, if a little sheepishly.

X=X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

Ace is our resident self-deprecation machine. Whatever happened, however you got hurt, the man would find some way to blame himself. Always thinking; it should have been me. 

He would be terrified out of his mind. He knows you’re strong, but sometimes he forgets that you can still get knocked down. He’ll camp outside the infirmary door until he’s allowed to come in. The moment he’s given the go-ahead, he’ll charge into the room and wrap you up in his arms as close as he can. He needs to feel you and reassure himself that you’re alright. 

Even after he’s been assured that you’re okay and that you’ll recover, Ace will hardly leave your side unless there’s some unavoidable responsibility he has to take care of. There will be moments when his mind will try to twist things and make him feel like a bad partner; as if he’s the reason for your injury, whether because he was the target of the attack or because he couldn’t protect you. 

You’ll have to be the one who keeps those thoughts at bay. Ace will make sure you never want for anything, for as long as you’re recovering. He won’t ask for anything in return. But between him supporting your physical health and you supporting his mental health, the whole ordeal will only serve to make your relationship stronger.

HOWEVER-- once he finds out who hurt you--he’s going to be just as relentless as he was chasing Teach. The guilty party won’t even be able to hold a pencil again once Ace is done with them (if they’re even still alive afterwards). 

Y=Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

If you try and steal his food, he will bite you. There’s still a Little bit of that feral child energy that rears up whenever something annoys him. He does not appreciate jump scares for that exact reason. His adrenaline and danger radar will immediately be turned up to 11 and he is no longer responsible for how he responds to the perceived danger. (Though he’ll probably apologize profusely anyways, cause he’d feel horrible if you got hurt by his knee-jerk reactions). 

On the other hand, there are a few scenarios when perhaps his narcolepsy can become a bit trying. If he starts snoring when you’re in the middle of telling him something important. If he falls asleep on top of you and you can’t get him Off. There could also be situations where his formality gets in the way of what you’re really trying to talk about. Once he starts apologizing for something, things can go on for a while. But the level to which these quirks annoy people, depends on the individual.

Z=Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

Ace is, as always, full of passion and impatience. He’ll certainly appreciate a similar amount of fervor from his partner, but it’s not a criteria, by any stretch. Whether you’re extroverted, introverted, bouncy or chill AF, he’ll gladly accept you exactly the way you are.

On his end, however, there are instances where Ace’s intensely passionate personality can come back to bit him in the ass. One would be his reckless and fiery temper. This is the trait that sent him on a deadly goose chase to capture Teach. It also leads to your typical abrupt Alpha-Male confrontation with whatever stranger is trying to flirt with you (See J for Jealousy). 

His mercurial emotions and stubborn determination lead him to make hasty, impulsive decisions; sometimes to the point of blatantly forgoing reason. Once he sets his mind to something, Fire Fist will always follows through--a trait which can turn deadly when combined with his short temper and impulsivity (See E for Effort) .

At the very least, Ace will be a fantastic partner when it comes to kissing, 9 times out of 10, his kisses are either passionate & enthusiastic or affectionate & goofy, especially with an s/o (See K for Kisses).

In the end, if there’s one thing we all know about Ace--it’s that he doesn’t do things half-assed. EVER. This boy is dedicated.  Point being, if Ace wants your relationship to work, he will make it work. Whatever it takes.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Disaster Lads: The Inevitable

The third part of my AU collab with @whumpiary where Cass (Ace) and Kauri meet. Read Part One and Part Two for context! 

In Part Three, things heat up, get angsty, and then there’s a surprise at the end you’ve all been waiting for... or maybe you weren’t, but trust me... it’s fun.

CW: CONSENSUAL SPICE. This is not implied, fade-to-black, or suggested. These boys have a lovely time and they’re happy to share it with you. Discussion of abusive relationship/abusive past, conditioning, 

Tagging Kauri’s crew:  @maybeawhumpblog, @pepperonyscience, @haro-whumps, @18-toe-beans, @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @giggly-evil-puppy, @whimpers-and-whumpers, @moose-teeth, @whump-it, @lumpofwhump, @pumpkinthefangirl, @spiffythespook, @slaintetowhump, @astrobly

“I have stuff,” Kauri says, all at once. “In my. I always… I have stuff for it.”

And God, Cass nearly falls apart at the table at that. He wants to climb over the table, or under it maybe, and have Kauri begging right there. Instead he takes in a deep, even breath, tries to stay calm and in control as he pulls his hand back a little, creating distance. One of them had to, huh?

It’s so much better like this than it had been behind the bar. Kauri’s embarrassed and stumbling and wanting it so bad he can barely get his words out properly and the earnest nervousness of it all is so fucking hot. There was literally nothing more attractive than someone wanting something so badly they were ceasing to function.

“You’re doing just fine,” Cass says with a smile, goes in with the understatement of the century. “It’s kinda cute, actually.”

Cass’ eyes slide briefly over Kauri’s shoulder to where Nick is serving a few tables down. He wonders how much shit Kauri’s gonna get in for leaving a free meal behind. He grabs a napkin from the holder, wrapping up his own untouched burger and shoving it in his pocket to give to Kauri later.

“C’mon tiger,” he says, voice heavy with want he’s not even trying to disguise anymore “Let’s get you out back, shall we?”

Kauri wants to say fuck yes and you go first and it all gets too jumbled in his head and instead he mumbles something like, “Fuck first,” then turns an even brighter red and grins. He pulls the ten out of his pocket and drops it on the table. 

“Leave a good tip,” He says, sort of embarrassed. “Since we-... with the food. Brings good luck.” 

He gives Nick a sunny goodbye, stopping to go up on his toes to kiss his cheek before he pulls Cass out the door, leaving Nick staring wide-eyed with a weird half-grin on his face as they go. 

Kauri doesn’t really make it further than the first steps to the back of the building before he moves his back against a wall and pulls Cass to him, pulling him closer for a hard kiss. The skills were learned all the wrong ways but he wants to use them, he’s good at this. His brain is a blurring, fuzzy white noise of lust and it’s the best Kauri ever feels, just like this. 

Kauri kisses like he was made for it. Which, Cass thinks as his thoughts slip back to Kauri’s mention of training, maybe he had been. But the fuck does that matter when he moves his hips like this, when his tongue does that, when Cass is almost struggling to keep up, and shit, when did that happen. He kisses up Kauri’s neck and slips his hands under his shirt, breath quickening at the first thrill of skin on skin. 

“Tell me you want it,” he says against Kauri’s throat. Because yes he can feel it, he can feel it so strong it’s basically got him seeing double but he wants to hear it. He wants to hear that same irresistible desperation from earlier. Those practiced, expert hands paired with the overwhelmed little stutter of a guy who’s only just figuring out how to actually say yes. 

Kauri arches his back into the press of warm palms against his stomach, pushing back under the hands slipping under his shirt, almost whining with it. His skin lights up at the touch, and he's breathing hard around the next kiss, and the next. 

"I do, I want you-" He catches himself before he can slip into anything too practiced, refusing to let that in this time. 

Instead, he takes a breath, gives Cass a cockeyed smile, and says, low and soft and his blush is red enough to read even in the dark, "I, um. Gonna need you in some part of me tonight, pretty soon. I, I want-"

His mind supplies an amazing, confused flurry of thoughts of legs around Cass's waist or with his chest and stomach against the wall or bent over or on his hands and knees and he can barely think coherently enough to form words behind yes now again. 

"I, I'm not good at saying things right when I'm not acting, uh, I just-..." He slips a hand forwards, deftly undoing the button on Cass's pants and yanking down his zipper so he can slip a hand down, feel the warmth of skin there, different than anywhere else. "I want this," He says, half-breathes. "In me."

Cass jerks up into Kauri’s hand at the touch involuntarily, laughing against Kauri’s mouth, “That’s all you had to say, baby.”

He kisses Kauri hard as he fumbles with the button on the other man’s jeans, one hand snaking beneath the waistband of his underwear to palm at Kauri’s hardening cock as the other pulls his hips in tight to his own.

Working with Kauri’s body is like following the line of a road on a map. It’s so simple and so satisfying Cass could do it with his eyes closed. It would be so easy to fall to his knees, pull Kauri into his mouth with a cruel little ‘my turn first’ and drag it out until the guy was desperate and begging but God all he wants right now is to be inside of the guy, fuck him until he can’t breathe, until he can’t think of anything else. 

“You said you had stuff?” he says, voice low and grazing, free hand travelling over Kauri’s hips, down his back, over the shape of his arse while the other works at the guy’s cock. He breathes hot against Kauri’s neck. He doesn’t want to wait. He wants him now.

For once, Kauri isn’t really worried about how he looks. Normally there’s some hint of putting on a show, of looking the right way, training and need working together to make him the kind of lay people remember just looking at for some of the time. 

But he’s trying not to do that with Cass. Instead he’s more fumbling, even though his touch is expert, and he breathes in high little moans, hips jerking himself against Cass’s hand. He’s so hard he could scream so fast - Cass is good at this, too, so good, like he can tell every single place Kauri wants him to touch without him ever even saying it.

“Uh, y-yeah, in my… hnnnh, yes, right there-... in my pocket, h-hold on-” His pants are falling down around his hips and he probably looks ridiculous trying to hold himself together, digging into an inside pocket on his zip-up, flashing lust-bright eyes up at Cass, breathing hard. He holds up a condom in one hand and a little single-use packet of lubricant in the other. 

“Ta-da,” He says, with a hint of the shy, slightly nervous smile. “Always, um, always have stuff. You’re so fucking gorgeous. D’you want me, um, me to… I can put it on you with my mouth.”

It had taken three full training sessions to learn how to do that, and his jaw had ached for days. 

Cass’ smile falters for a moment before returning, eyes flicking between Kauri and the condom. He's so earnest it's almost devastating.

“Uh, no. No, thanks. You don’t have to do that,” Cass flashes a grin before snatching both packets, distracting Kauri with a kiss as he tears the condom open with nimble fingers, rolling it on blind. He tears the second packet open with his teeth, slicking himself up with one hand while the other pushes at the back of Kauri’s hips with enough pressure to turn him. “Now, flip.”

He pulls himself close along then other man’s back, reaching around to stroke him as he slips his slicked-up hand beneath Kauri’s waistband.

“I don’t need tricks,” Cass murmurs against Kauri’s neck as he presses a finger into him “Just be your gorgeous self.”

Kauri lets out a shuddering breath, turning quickly around - so fast he nearly trips on himself and has to throw a hand up on the wall to catch his balance. “I’m sorry, I’m-... sorry, I’m usually better at this part…” 

He’s trying not to use his training - somehow Cass seems to know when he does it - but taking away all the training means he’s mostly awkward and fumbling and feels like he’s barely had sex before. Still, he can’t quite help the grin on his face, pressing his forehead against the wall and shifting hands to his pants to undo them and push them lower down to barely stay up around his thighs as Cass presses his finger in.

“Hnnnh, you’re… fuck, that’s good,” He whispers. Something in him, some restlessness he can only rarely settle, is soothed as soon as someone does something like this. Wanted, he’s wanted, he’s someone, he matters to someone, if only for a while. “Can… can you, um, kiss my neck, a little, while you-... that…”

Cass laughs gently, teeth grazing Kauri’s earlobe as he starts to kiss down his neck in response. It’s relieving having someone arch up against him like this. He doesn’t have to think. He doesn’t have to analyse or second-guess. He doesn’t have to navigate the nuances of what they want or don’t want because it’s so fucking obvious and it feels so good to give it to Kauri. Like he’s falling back into the role he’s meant to be in. Like every other moment had just been lead-up, had just been treading water until he could be right back here, where he belonged, his body pressed up against another person, giving them what they needed.

“You feel so good,” he says, adding a second finger, curling them just a little just to hear the way Kauri’s breath hitches. He presses an open mouthed kiss to the join between Kauri’s shoulder and his throat, stroking him slow, easing in a third, “God I can’t wait to be inside of you.”

Kauri lets out a breathy little whine, not quite a moan, bucking his hips forward and then rocking them back, his head dropping forward a little and his eyes closing. Forward, into Cass’s grip around him, the way his hand is moving just a little slow, exactly how Kauri wants it - no one ever knows to start this slow, like this, no one ever just knows that but somehow Cass knows that’s how he wants it.

Forward into his hand, backwards onto his hand, Cass’s mouth on his skin. He’s drowning in the other man in all the best ways. “Fuck, you even smell good,” Kauri manages, his voice higher, breathy, rocking back and this time his back arches and his head falls back on Cass’ shoulder. “Ah! Haaah, ah, y-you, ah, shit, no one finds it this fast, want-... I want you so b-bad, Cass.”

It doesn’t come out practiced or trained, it’s all shaken up in him. He wants Cass’s cock in him so bad he can’t think. 

Cass tangles his fingers in those curls and tugs gently back until Kauri’s neck is pulled back in a delicious arc. He sucks kisses along it as he pulls his fingers out of Kauri, wraps them around his own length. 

He eases in slowly, so fucking slowly, too fucking slowly, and has to nuzzle along the length of Kauri’s neck, inhaling deep, breath hitching just to keep himself calm. He lets out a barely-there moan, more of an exhale of breath.

He’s so desperate for this, for Kauri. So desperate to make him feel good, to give him what he needs. It would be so easy to rut into him, fast and hard like an animal, have him stretched open and panting in seconds, but it’s good like this, better like this, because he can feel Kauri melting under his hands, keening at every gentle touch. 

“Can’t believe I-... I get to have you like this,” he says voice stuttering with his breath as he rocks his hips forward, slow and smooth. He runs his thumb over the tip of Kauri’s cock with just the slightest amount of pressure, matching his own rhythm in gentle strokes “So fucking- God you’re so beautiful. Can’t believe I get t- to do this for you”

Kauri relaxes around him, one of the first and hardest skills he'd learned was how to relax his body no matter how he felt and the skill comes in so handy now. He lets out a soft whine as Cass presses on, the sensation of being filled driving him as crazy as the hand stroking him off. 

"Next time I, I want to look at your-... ah, face-... Yes, yesyesyes-" Cass has a steady rhythm, slow but deep, and Kauri rocks his hips back against him, burying him deeper with each thrust. 

He feels like he'll collapse if Cass pulls out, just clatter to the ground. Like being full of his cock is all that's holding him together. 

Cass hits that spot inside him, then again, and Kauri moans, grinding back. More now harder. The best he ever feels, in moments like this. 

“I like the s- God- like the sound of next time.”

He pictures Kauri’s legs around his waist, or his mouth around Kauri’s cock, or making him fall apart with words alone, just begging for Cass to touch him. He imagines fucking him slow, flat on his back, keeping him on edge for an hour as he kisses him soft. He’d give him whatever he wants- everything he wants.

Cass braces one hand against the wall as he quickens his pace, the other wrapping around Kauri’s front, pulling him tight to Cass’ chest as he fucks into him. He buries his face in Kauri’s hair. He wants him close, even closer than this. God, he just wants more. He feels needy and desperate, even now, buried inside of him. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Cass manages out, thrusting in hard and deep. “So fucking good.”

He drops his mouth to Kauri’s neck again, nipping gently at the delicate skin. He’s close. He’s so damn close.

Kauri’s conscious thought shatters, finally, and he feels the need in him building, heat in him pushing him towards climax but he’s trained for this, too, on a level deeper than thought. Kauri knows how to pace himself, to make it perfect, to time everything just right so that the person inside him finishes before he does. 

He wants Cass to finish first, wants to feel him before he lets go. 

“C’n… hold on, can do… you want to feel good, let me just-”

Kauri lets out a breathless, half-moaned laugh and tightens himself around Cass, turning his head to kiss into Cass’s neck, nipping at his skin. “Need you to, to come so I can come for you,” he breathes into his ear.

It’s all he needs. Cass curls around the shape of Kauri with a moan, breath caught in his throat as he comes. He lets his mind go blank, his thoughts go quiet, wrapped in pleasure and pressed deep into another man’s body.

He stays there, continuing to rock into Kauri gently as his hand wraps back around Kauri’s cock, the other tracing pretty lines down his jaw, down his throat, down his chest with long, soft fingers.

“So perfect,” he whispers against his shoulder “Come for me.”

The command tips him over, and Kauri moans, rocking forward into Cass’s hand and then going suddenly still and tense, spilling with Cass still moving in him and against him, jerking his hips in small movements as he comes onto the wall and then the ground, soft little cries muffled against Cass’s neck.

He was made for this. It’s what he is, what he was remade to do. In the moment of orgasm and then in the afterglow, Kauri feels like a whole person. He’s wanted. Cass wanted him, and he did it all exactly right. He’s good, a good boy, good at what they made him.

He feels so warm, floating in post-orgasm bliss, wanting nothing more than this moment to last.

“Th-that was… was…” Kauri laughs, breathless, pressing kisses against Cass’s neck, sliding his arms up and around behind him so he won’t pull out too soon, enjoying the feeling even now. “Best sex I’ve h-had up against a wall in an alley… You’re so fucking good.”

"All you, gorgeous," Cass laughs, still rocking his hips slowly, drunk on the feeling. God, he could stay here all night. "You're so good, Kauri. So, so good for me."

He stays there for another few moments, peppering Kauri with soft kisses and letting the other man do the same. It feels like the world stops hurtling on so violently when he can just lean into this, stay here, forget about himself and forget about everything. Just give someone exactly what they need. Exactly what they want. It was so simple. 

Everything else was complicated, tangly and difficult but this… He knows he’s good like this. 

"Next time... we do that in private, so I can stay just like this for you," he says, another quick kiss against Kauris temple "But for now..."

He grabs Kauri's hand, moving it away so he can start to ease out. His own hand is still tucked around Kauri’s front, under his shirt, feeling every stutter and movement of his body as he pulls out. He tucks Kauri back in before he tidies himself up, pulling the condom off and zipping his jeans back up.

Kauri, used to mostly cleaning himself up and usually cleaning up the other guy, too - it’s part of training, he falls into it mindlessly and the guys never seem to notice and if they do, they just say thank you and don’t give it a second thought - blinks, staring down at Cass’s hands so carefully shifting his pants back up over his hips, tucking him back into them, even zipping and buttoning and he lets out a huff of disbelieving laughter.

What had he done to meet someone so nice? 

He turns to say thank you and instead Cass’s mouth is on his, insistent but still soft and sweet, and Kauri melts against him, sliding arms eagerly around his waist to hold him close, draw it out, make it last even longer. Finally, when they break apart, Kauri is still nearly panting, still feeling the languid afterglow looseness in his limbs. 

Cass keeps his voice low and soft in that way that seems to make Kauri short circuit, “Still wanna come back to mine?”

“Yeah, I… yeah, I do, I want-... I want to, um, to get a little longer with you. Plus, I can’t exactly write you a letter-” Kauri’s voice cuts off, and then he laughs, a little nervously. “Since I don’t have anywhere you could get me one back. I want-... yeah. If you’re still offering, I do.”

Kauri's easy to fluster, Cass is realising. Intensely so. There's been a permanent blush on his cheeks since before they left the diner, and everything he says is coloured by the adorable tripping over of words. He gives Kauri's hand a squeeze and a little smile, pulling him out towards the street before dropping it again, walking backwards as he talks. 

"Well you'll know where I live in about three minutes, so you can just leave me a love note like diner-boy did."

He flashes a grin and walks in the opposite direction than they'd come. Away from the bar, away from the burger joint. He can see the Facility buildings from here, nondescript and unsigned. It’s hard to tell, if you don’t know what they are, if they’re meant to be residential or corporate. Probably because they functioned as a mix of both.

He feels like a teenager sneaking someone in through his bedroom window. Like he’s breaking some private rule with himself that keeps his two worlds separate. He glances back to Kauri, smiles in that easy way, "Hey so it’s no big deal, but, uh...  guests aren’t exactly celebrated at the Facility so like, if we see anyone, just be chill, yeah?"

Kauri walks after him like a lovesick puppy and he knows it, a stupid smile on his face but Cass doesn't seem to mind and Kauri can't seem to stop. 

All his stuff will be waiting for him at the park even if it takes him a day. He's had to leave his backpack and everything before for nearly a week. Nobody knows about the loose tile in the bathroom ceiling where Kauri keeps things. 

It sounds so fucking nice to have a Facility you could just leave if you wanted. Kauri's vaguely jealous as he talks, thinking it sounds like the dorms in Owen's movies. 

"I can be chill," Kauri says seriously, with sparkling eyes and a flush still in his face. "I'm good at quiet, I was, I… learned how to be really quiet. I won't fuck it up." 

He was nervous, but he wanted more of Cass, for at least a little bit. He could be normal long enough to fool whoever they might run into. 

There's a part of Cass that wants to tell Kauri to stop talking. Every time he opens his mouth, some horrible line of tragic comes peeling out from nowhere. Cass tries not to linger on it, the little slips. About learning and training and being good.

"Well we don't have to be that quiet," he says, trying to keep it light. "Just careful."

The door unlocks with a quick little beep as Cass flashes some other guy’s keycard and he pushes it open. He gestures for Kauri to go inside, feeling suddenly embarrassed at how upscale the place must look in comparison to damp alleys and park benches.

"Not really my deal," he says, trying to shrug it off. "But I'm not paying or anything, so..."

The foyer is orchids-on-the-marble-desk kind of nice. There's a completely impractical couch to the left you could probably trade in for a decent car. Cass hates everything about this place but it was still better than Christopher's. And he'd bet serious money it's leaps and bounds from wherever Kauri last slept.

It looks like the lobby in Owen's condo, to Kauri, only even nicer. He presses himself to Cass's side, nervous in his grungy thrift-store clothes, worried they'll kick him out or know what he is by sight, that someone like him only belongs in a place like this if he's got a collar around his neck. 

Or it'll be like they said in training - runaway Romantics come to bad ends when someone knows they can't really fight back. 

By the time they get to the elevators he's holding onto Cass's waist tightly enough to probably hurt. 

"I'm a few floors up," Cass says, a flirty smile trying to smother the sudden tension running through him. "Reckon I could have you begging again before we get there?"

He doesn't realize his breathing has picked up until Cass talks again, and Kauri's answer comes out more breathless than he means it to. He nuzzles briefly into Cass's neck just for the reassuring hit of safe he feels when he's touching someone. 

"I'd beg for you right here," He says, and then turns red again. "I'm sorry. I get, um, I do that when I'm, um. Yes."

Cass feels on edge all of a sudden. Out of his element. He doesn't like bringing people back here, he doesn't even like being here. The whole point of going out and hooking up with people is that he can be somewhere else for a night. And he'd ended up hauling Homeless Hottie through the door instead.

"You don't have to come up, you know." The words come from nowhere. Not rude, just a little prickly. "Like I don't need you to be here, it's just a place to crash."

He rakes his eyes over the other man, who looks just as nervous as Cass feels. Jittery. Like someone’s about to arrest him. 

"I fuckin' hate this place so if it’s making you feel weird or you wanna leave, I get it," he tries to feel casual about it, watching for the elevator doors to open. Please stay though. I hate it here but I don’t hate you so please, please stay. "It's not like we didn't already fuck, so no hard feelings."

Kauri leaves places. It's what he does, stay long enough for someone to want him and then go when they don't any longer, or when the closed door might be locked and he can't handle it any longer. 

Weirdly, though, he doesn't want to leave Cass. 

"I'm sorry," Kauri says softly. He's made him mad, somehow, and he's not quite sure what he did this time. He started the whole night by getting Cass mad – Kauri's carefully-remade mind drops the simple fact that Cass had actually gotten mad at Matt, and substitutes himself as being at fault for not just taking the drink and being good with perfect seamlessness – and he's done it all over again without even trying. 

"I want to stay with you," He says, sincerely, truthfully. "Overnight. I think I want to know you better for a while. I just, um. No, you're right, if you don't want me in your place that's, that's okay. I was just being-... I haven't-... I get nervous about locked doors but it doesn't mean I don't want something."

Cass nods slow, trying not to prickle over the idea that this place is anything close to his. He flicks his eyes over Kauri, almost surprised at the amount of resolve in his voice. He shrugs. Makes a choice. 

"Okay. So no locked doors," he tosses Kauri the keycard that isn't his. Nobody was paying him to give a shit about facility security and he'd snag another one tomorrow anyway. "All I want is a good time, alright? For both of us."

Kauri takes the keycard and stares down at it, blinking, then the tension melts out of him all over again and he slips it into his back pocket. The elevator doors slide open and Kauri is noticeably more relaxed as he’s pulled into the elevator, looking up at Cass with all the humor and lightness back in his eyes.

Cass steps backwards until his back is pressed up against the mirrored wall with Kauri in front of him, hand reaching out to press the button for his level as the doors slide closed again. He tries to let the tension in his shoulders drop, fastening on a grin in its wake "Now tell me what you want."

“I want…” Kauri thinks it through - there’s a pile of responses on his tongue, ready to go, all of them trained and conditioned, memorized and repeated at the other end of a shock stick or tied up in ropes or hit on the knuckles whenever he got it wrong. He rejects every single one, because none of them are the true thing, the thing he really wants to say. 

It’s pure sincerity when he leans in closer to Cass, goes up on his toes to kiss him, and says softly, “I want you to kiss, um-... to kiss me stupid ‘til we get into your room and I want to ride you when we’re in there.”

Kauri’s so easy to kiss. He’s so easy to move with, so easy to tug and pull. He’s so easy to want. Cass pulls him in close, and with barely enough space between them to breathe it’s hard not to think God, he’s made for this.

“You’re so good,” Cass says, pressing up against him. The elevator doors slide open behind them and Cass kisses Kauri backwards until they’re up against the hallway wall, Kauri giggling quietly and running his hands up Cass’s sides and back down to his hips to pull them flush again.

The res level is featureless and clinical compared to the foyer. Why waste money decorating something the public didn’t see? Something only meant for those lowest on the company totem pole?

He leads Kauri down the hallway a few steps, pushing him gently into his quarters as the door slides open, kissing him all the while.

“Sorry ‘bout the mess,” he says with a grin, stripping his jacket and adding it to a chair piled with clothes. “My, uh, boss likes things to stay tidy, so naturally I keep it as messy as possible.”

Aside from the debris of his life scattered around – clothes on the floor, papers and books on the inbuilt desk, a couple pill bottles sitting pretty by the lamp – the place is stark and white. Featureless. The king single shoved in the corner lays unmade, white quilt gathered at the bottom a testament to the restless sleeper he is when he dains to occupy it. He feels strange with someone in his space like this. Exposed, almost.

“I’d offer you something to drink but, uh,” he looks around the room, shrugs “I’m not exactly well-equipped for guests.”

“That’s okay,” Kauri answers, sincerely, looking around the room with the opposite of Cass’s expression on his face. There’s a hint of nervous worry when he sees the stark white walls, the slightest hesitation before he lets himself be pulled into the room, but the simple mess is immensely comforting. 

Not a cell, not ‘resident rooms’ like his own had been, empty and with just the floor to sleep on unless you earned blankets and a pillow and there were rumors the really good trainees could earn a bed. No, this was like…

“Like a dorm room at college,” Kauri whispers, then winces at a spike of pain ricochets around inside his skull. 

don’t think about that don’t remember that that never happened you made that up it’s common to have false memories after training

He shakes it off almost instantly - it’s there and gone, barely a flicker of expression before he makes himself forget he’d ever said anything. 

“Are you allowed to have things for the walls?” He asks instead, his voice perfectly light and cheerful, moving forward into the room, grazing fingertips over the pile of clothes in the chair, as if considering something. “I could bring you a picture. There’s a lady down at the farmer’s market who paints, she likes me, she always says she’ll give me a painting if I ever have a place to put one.”

Cass closes his eyes, a smile creeping over his face. He can’t tell anymore if the way Kauri tilts the conversation onto easier topics is intentional or just a very well practiced habit. Either way, it's entirely sweet and a little disarming. 

“You know, I’ve never asked,” he says, sweeping in close again, wrapping an arm around Kauri’s waist. “But I’d risk breaking the rules for you.”

He tilts Kauri's chin up to meet him in a kiss, and as he does he feels an unpleasant twinge of jealousy. He can't help but feel like Kauri's unfairly lucky. He knows it's not a rational thought. He knows it's not. But still.

How the fuck do you stay homeless when people seem to be tripping over to try and help you? There seem to be so many people wanting to offer Kauri small kindnesses but instead he opted to turn them all down just to stay on the streets and desolate. And Cass had fought tooth and nail for a single bed in a room without a key.

Like a college dorm room, Kauri had said, before all but flinching away from his own comment. Like a college dorm room. Cass wouldn't know would he? Had never had the chance. 

“Where’d you go to college?” he asks, innocent enough. The other questions, the crueler, bitter-with-jealousy questions– were you any good? did you get kicked out? is that why you sold yourself? fucking piece of shit drop out, buried in fancy college debt? – stay at bay. 

Kauri's quiet, pressing the kiss closer, deeper, burying himself in it, more aggressive now. The headache threatens if he tries to ask too many questions, the memory of drugs woozily running through his veins, hooked to a wall and forget forget forget in his head obliterating whatever poor son of a bitch had lived in his head before.

Then, finally, he pulls away and shrugs, smiling sunny and bright, deflecting, distracting. "I don't know," Kauri says, voice perfectly, carefully constructed to seem careless, isn't it so funny that I don't know, but really, who cares? "It's not important to what we're for-... what we do. Not like I could write a fucking essay to save my life anymore. Or a poem."

Another flinch, as if Kauri had tripped over something, and he shoves Cass's back against the wall with a sudden aggressive need, slipping a hand into the waistband of his pants while shifting a leg between Cass's legs, an expert move to brush against him from two directions. 

"Doesn't matter."

A familiar rush of hot and cold runs through Cass' body at the answer, at the touch, at the rough push against the wall that makes him shudder with a kind of practiced thrill. Kauri knows exactly what he's doing with his hand and the bid for distraction spurs Cass on even more. 

Kauri's uncomfortable. He wants distraction. Deflection. To change the subject. But Cass wants to know. Cass wants to push. "So, what? They ju - hah - just keep the slutty parts and fry the rest?"

It's getting mean. He can feel it. A backwards kind of resentment clawing under his skin, twisting his mood. He catches Kauri's lips with his own, fingers brushing under the hem of Kauri's shirt. The kiss is desperate and rough, on the borderline of bruising, and when Cass pulls away he feels a childish sort of challenge pulling at him

Kauri ignores the first question entirely, sliding his hand straight down to brush over Cass between his legs, feeling him soft but he wouldn't be for long, Kauri knew just what to do to get past this moment and his thoughts, and he likes the rough stuff as much as he ever likes tenderness.

He's trained to. 

Jesus, I know I asked for a brainless slut, Kor-Bore, but this is something else. Do you even have brain cells now? 

He's just started to curve around him, to stroke him back to hardness, when Cass asks, "What if I wanted a poem?"

Kauri's face flickers with hurt, an oddly naive why would you ask that considering the practiced physicality on display. Then he tilts his head, looking up at Cass, and gives him the honest fucking answer while giving his cock just enough of a roll of his palm to feel good. 

"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself."

Cass knows an evasive answer when he hears one. It's not some sort of pathetic no homo-ism which would've been funny in its own right with Kauri's hand sitting where it is. It's something deeper than that. Something that hits close enough to home to hurt.

The energy in the room has shifted. Tense and pulsating. The undercurrent of something bitter. Territory Cass was more familiar with than tender kisses in alleyways.

"Seems like you're already doing that for me," he says, rolling his hips forward into the touch. He doesn't bring his hands up to touch back, to hold. It's a challenge in its own right.

How much will you still want me when I'm not acting how you want? When I'm not doing what you need?

Cass has been choked against this wall, threatened against this wall, had his head bashed into it more times than he could count. His eyes track across Kauri's face, land on his lips. He doubts the other man has anything even close to violence living in his veins, but Cass still juts out his chin, looks down at Kauri through lidded eyes. Even the thought of it sends something electric through him.

"You gonna make me sorry for asking?"

"No," Kauri answers easily enough, a short, almost curt single syllable. He can feel Cass getting hard again under his hand, and he tilts his head just a little, looking down, before he gives just enough of a squeeze to keep it interesting.

"I don't do that. I just make you stop wanting to ask." 

It's an honest answer - and Kauri grabs him by the belt loops in his pants, pulling him back until they stumble to the bed and Kauri half-falls to seated with Cass standing between his legs, yanking open Cass's pants with no gentleness this time. 

"Show you what parts aren't fried," Kauri mutters, half-under his breath, moving to shift his pants down and press a kiss to his stomach in the same moment. 

The sound Kauri pulls out of him is more of a grunt than a moan. Cass can feel himself starting to swim. That particular territory on a night out where old restless anger hollows him out and switches on the autopilot. He tilts his head back where he stands, tangling his fingers through Kauri's curls as he closes his eyes. He breathes in.

But this is his place. 

This is his fucking bed, his fucking room. 

He doesn't want to drift. He doesn't want to leave.

There were two ways Cass knew that kept him attached to the ground. The easiest was a punch in the teeth. The other was harder. Sharing something to make the other person feel closer to you, and then hold onto that like a tether.

It made them like you more, made them easier to stay hooked to. It made it easier to feel what they wanted, even. To ride that wave. But it meant sharing some broken part of himself. Sometimes he lies. Usually he lies. But tonight...

"I couldn't read until I was like 17," he says, voice is low, only opening his eyes after he's said it. "The guy who taught me how also taught me how to fuck."

He traces his fingers down the curve behind Kauri's ear, along the line of his jaw, tilting his face up with a gentle hand under his chin. Cass searches blue eyes and doesn't know what for.

"I'm fried, too."

"I'm… I'm sorry." Kauri hesitates, leaning forward with his shoulders so his chin rests lightly on Cass's stomach, looking up at him. "I can't… I can't read the note from Nick because I can't read. And I can't write you a poem because I can't write, either." 

He jerked Cass's pants down over his hips, to his thighs, and kissed into the flat spot just inside each hip, one on each side.

He looked back up. 

"I don't know what I look like. I can't look in mirrors. You guessed it right. They fried most of me. Now please push me back on the bed and…" Hold onto me, please, just want this, too, even if it's just to fuck me, just don't make me leave with this the last thing I said "-fuck me or something if you're going to keep me talking about this."

Hearing it all come rattling has something under Cass' skin curdling a little. He doesn't usually go for tragedy. He almost regrets pushing. He almost wants to apologise. Instead he straddles Kauri's hips, knees on the mattress as he pulls the guy's shirt over his head and throws it to the side before doing the same with his own. He kisses him until he's flat on his back on the mattress.

This part is so easy. Puzzle pieces fitting together, gears slotting into place, every kind of made for this metaphor rolled into one.

"We don't have to talk."

He apologises with his tongue, with open mouthed kisses that travel down Kauri's throat to the twisted scar along his collarbone and back up. He rolls his hips into the man beneath him, unbuttons those jeans with one hand and delights in the heat of Kauri's cock as he palms him, feels him start to harden.

His own jeans practically fall off as he stands, loose from Kauri's ministrations, and he kicks them to the side before leaning forward, kissing lines down Kauri's stomach and down his hips and down his thighs as he undresses him too. He presses his cheek to Kauri's leg, planting a kiss on his inner thigh.

"Just one more question." He brushes against Kauri's hardening cock with his lips, "This?" He slips his hand under Kauri's lower back, down the curve of his arse, just barely pressing into him again, "Or this?"

Kauri hums under the attention, he loves being pressed back into the mattress, a hint of weight holding him down. It’s what he wants, what he’s for. Any anger in him drains out with every kiss - Kauri is used to apologies that aren’t spoken or that don’t happen at all.

He wouldn’t even want an apology - he has no idea how to handle them unless they’re laced with reasons that Kauri’s really the one to blame.

Kauri pushes himself up on his elbows, nerves singing, and looks down towards Cass, the shy, sincere smile on his face as he pushes himself closer to sitting up. “Um, your-... your mouth,” Kauri says, hushed, almost shocked-sounding. “Mouth, please.”

Cass holds eye contact as he smiles, running his tongue along the underside of Kauri’s cock before taking him into his mouth. He hums deep in his throat, lets his hair fall in front of his face like a curtain and lets everything else fall away completely.

He will never understand people that don’t love this; that don’t love taking another person in with your mouth, with your hands, and making them utterly melt. It was so simple. So good. Skin against skin, another person to breathe in. He didn’t have to think about anything else, he didn’t have to worry about anything else. He could lose himself in wanting them, in being wanted.

He runs his hands up Kauri’s thighs as he works at pulling delicious sounds from him, finding a rhythm with his mouth, interrupting it again with the swirling of his tongue. Kauri tastes good. He feels good. It’s good, it’s all so fucking good. 

Kauri stays up on his elbows at first to watch him, taking the sight of Cass in with unadulterated, if oddly pure, joy. He’d had no idea what this felt like, beyond a sense-memory that told him he’d had one before, the first time someone he’d hooked up with had gone down on him after he ran away.

He never got tired of it - of how wonderful it was to have someone want him so much they would touch him even without taking anything for themselves. It felt so perfectly right, and he couldn’t keep the dopey smile off his face even as he had to shift and finally lay back, focusing his eyes on Cass’s ceiling, his hands sliding into his hair, running through the strands, hips moving gently up to push himself deeper, just a little. 

It’s not long before his soft exhalations are full-on moans, and he tries to keep mostly quiet since there are probably other people here but he’s never really been good at that - Owen didn’t want him trained to be quiet at times like this - and he can’t help himself, moaning, “You’re so good, this is so-... fuck, so good, Cass, under the-... yeah, like th-that, just like that-... ah, you’re so so good, so nice, so nice to do this, to, to, ah, ah, ah-” He trails off into a louder sound as Cass hits just the right spot just under the head and his hips jerk, hands buried deeply in his hair, eyes wide and hardly seeing.

It feels so good. For maybe the second or third time, Kauri’s genuinely a little sad he probably won’t see this guy again.

The sounds Kauri makes are so fucking endearing. He moans like he's never had a blowjob, like he's not sure he's ever gonna have one again. Was there literally anything better than hearing someone make sounds like that? It makes it easy to enjoy, to indulge in getting him off.

Cass can’t help but laughing under his breath as he pulls off, licking long and slow along Kauri’s cock.

 “Enjoying yourself, big guy?” he mutters, smiling up at Kauri’s blushing cheeks, the mass of dark curls against the sheet before swallowing him to the hilt. Maybe the only thing better than hearing someone make sounds like that was knowing you were the one that caused it.

He speeds up, moaning deep around Kauri’s cock. Hands down the best fuck Cass has had for months.

Kauri’s moans turn into something like loud, high-pitched whimpers as Cass’s throat vibrates around him with his own sounds, his fingers tightening to nearly painful in Cass’s hair and his hips jerking up harder than he intends them to, thrusting into Cass’s mouth unconsciously. 

“Y-yes, you’re so-... so good, this is so good, I’m, I’m going to-... wait wait wait if you keep g-going, I’ll, I’ll, um-... I’ll-” Kauri’s body tenses all at once, and he lets out a loud cry as he tilts over the edge, coming right down Cass’s throat.

He’s barely finished before he’s trying to pull Cass back up to him, to kiss him, to tangle every single limb around him and keep them pressed together at every possible level.

Cass finds himself, not for the first time tonight, laughing into Kauri's mouth. The guy holds him like he's gonna disappear the second they're not touching, and Cass wraps his arms around his waist as he kisses him.

I'm not going anywhere. God, please keep touching me like that. I want you, I want you, I want you.

He feels love drunk and loose, even though he's still achingly hard. He rolls his hips along Kauri's thigh, chasing the gentle friction as he rocks forward and back but not reaching for more just yet. Cass doesn't want more right now. Just wants to enjoy Kauri's body warm beneath him, the tiny electric sparks he can feel under every brush off his fingers. The desperate kisses, panting breaths, those pretty sounds still sighing out of Kauri's mouth.

He plants a kiss on Kauri's cheek, reaches down to brush his hand against Kauri's cock one more time. "That was hot."

Kauri jumps a little, letting out a half-squeaked whine at the hint of touch to his already overstimulated cock, then laughs and presses against him even more, tilting his head up and back for another kiss, taking the affection as it’s given with pure gratitude for it. 

“Yeah, you’re really good at it,” Kauri says, grinning. He can taste himself on Cass, and that’s a rare thing for him, this happens so rarely and it’s even more rare they want to kiss right after. “You’re so, so good. That was so good.” He can’t stop saying it, and he knows it’s stupid to repeat it over and over again, and he finally just ducks his head, tucking it under Cass’s chin, to hide his bright red flush, as much from the aftermath of orgasm as from his embarrassment.

“I like your bed,” Kauri murmurs, stretching his legs out, tangling them with Cass’s. He’d expected to be curled up on a park bench or lying under someone’s heavy weight by now. Lying like this instead - curled up with someone built more like he is, who seems to feel the same way about wanting touch - is so much better. “It’s really soft.”

Cass snorts, nearly makes a quip about razor wire bed springs and b-grade foam, but he stops himself, remembering where Kauri would've been if not here.

"You're really soft," he says instead, running his fingers in long circles along Kauri's arm, his back, down his side. He can feel his own body relaxing with the rhythm of it, with the feeling of skin on skin. 

He wishes it didn't feel so good to have someone tucked into him like this and pressed against him. He wishes he wasn't like this, he wishes he wasn't so needy. There's a tension in him he never knows he's holding and it releases when someone touches him. It's like he's never really breathing when he's not being held.

"I should thank that asshole for tryna spike your drink, huh?"

Kauri actually laughs, breaths against Cass’s shoulder, hands sliding across the muscles of his back. “Or I should, I guess,” He says, ignoring the flutter of nervousness. He's too loose, right now, languid and his eyes are finding it harder and harder to open.

“Used to get drugged all th’ time, anyway,” Kauri says, his voice slightly slurred with sleepiness. “It’d jus’ feel like home.”

Cass huffs out a laugh. He reaches behind himself to tap his fingers on the bedside table, one of the bottles from the random assortment of benzos and sleeping pills rolling away as he does. "I'm outta the good stuff but help your fuckin' self."

He wonders vaguely at what point the venn diagram between Kauri's experiences and his own would start looking close to a circle. He wonders too if maybe he should worry about that. He stares up at the ceiling, hand tracing lazy shapes along Kauri's upper arm.

"Mine put it in chocolates, usually," he whispers, not even sure if Kauri's conscious enough to hear him "Or in drinks. He liked it when I'd forget."

There’s a pause, like maybe Kauri had fallen asleep, before he murmurs back, “It was in our food, th’ water, all of it. Did y’... mmmmn…” Kauri nuzzles in closer, pulling Cass as tight against him as he can get, shifting around so he can bury his feet under the blankets at the end of the bed. “... tell you it’s what you’re for?”

Cass buries his face in Kauri's hair and closes his eyes. He feels sleep tugging at him now. Making his body heavy. Pulling him down. 

"Yeah," he mutters, pressing a kiss to Kauri's head "Told me I was made for it."

Kauri tries to think of a reply, but the moments lying together, the languid loose feelings of his muscles, and Cass’s warm body in the bed all work together to ensure he’s sound asleep before anything in particular comes to mind. He holds Cass tightly, and in his sleep he never rolls away, only shifts closer, twining his legs around Cass’s so their hips are flush even sleeping, as though he wants only to be touching Cass with as much of himself as he can, even fast asleep.

They’ve only been asleep for a handful of hours when the sliding door slams open. Cass sits up immediately at the sound, awake and heart pounding before Tucker even has the chance to thump the timered light back on.

“Rise and shine, Ace, we have a lot to-“ Tucker’s voice cuts off as he takes in the scene before him. He tilts his head to the side, blinks, a dangerous smile curling his mouth “What the fuck is this?”

[shealwaysreads]

Writing’s On the Wall

A little something inspired by THIS pic that @jeldenil shared on the Drarry Discord Server - hilarious lines contributed by her and @hogwartsfemme 🙌

Betaed by the lovely @malenkayacherepakha and cheered by the sweet @drarryruinedme7 ❤️

Drarry | 2586 words | Harry POV, Auror cadets Harry & Draco, graffiti, gratuitous use of the ‘just out the shower’ image

Summary: In which the Auror department is surprisingly artistic, Draco is still an overdramatic shit, Harry still makes the most of any trouble that finds him, and getting horizontal is the solution to everyone's problems.

Also available on AO3

The first time Harry ever noticed graffiti that referenced him had been in the Quidditch locker rooms at Hogwarts. He had been pretty sure it was Draco or one of his cronies that had slipped into the Gryffindor area and spelled miniature Dementors to appear whenever someone walked past the blank game-play board. Oliver Wood had cursed and spluttered when he realised they had erased his intricate diagrams and game-plans, fiercely complaining to McGonagall.

Some of the highlights while he was at Hogwarts had been during the Triwizard Tournament - there had suddenly been loads of graffiti about him. None of it complimentary until he’d completed the first challenge, admittedly. “POTTER STINKS” had flashed across every toilet door in the castle in a lurid, flashing green for three weeks before Filch managed to convince Professor Flitwick to help him remove the charms.

Then a tiny doodle of him and a dragon appeared in an alcove on the way to the History of Magic classroom. Complete with glowing dragon flames it showed Harry and the Horntail flying a wild and cartoonish circuit around a sketchy Hogwarts, their endless chase looping every minute or so. It was probably Dean’s handiwork, the lines confident and skillful even though it was charmed onto rough stone walls - and his practice with art charms had come a long way since his first Quidditch banner. Within a week it had been scratched through though, a proud ‘CEDRIC’S THE BEST’ scrawled over it.

After the war, he saw it more regularly. The mark of the Deathly Hallows spelled onto walls, scratched into bar tables. Sometimes a cheeky ‘If HP sees this and wants a good time, Floo me!’ with addresses charmed underneath. It made trips to pub bathrooms, usually home of the more lurid examples of graffiti, an embarrassing trial sometimes - his friends always welcomed ammunition for their endless teasing.

Thankfully, he wasn't the only one targeted by renegade artists and overzealous fans. Ron had flushed beetroot red (clashing horribly with his hair) for a full half hour after seeing a particularly explicit suggestion about himself scrawled in muggle pen across the wall in the Leaky Cauldron. Harry had cackled all the way back to their tabled and regaled Hermione, Neville, Seamus, and Dean with the details while Ron hid behind his pint.

He was pleased when he joined the Auror Cadets and nobody seemed to be star-struck. Their tutors were strict but fair. Even Draco Malfoy wasn’t up to his old schoolboy tricks. It appeared that his attitude had matured just as well as the rest of him.

On too many occasions to count Harry caught himself appreciating just how well Draco filled out his cadet uniform, especially the clinging material of their work-out gear which left less to the imagination than he thought he should be subjected to at work...while still desperately wanting to see more.

The only issue Harry had with his cohort of fellow cadets, and even some of the wider Auror staff, was the giggling. He knew it wasn't to do with his ‘man who lived twice’ reputation because they’d made a point of pairing him with an Auror in his sixties for sparring classes during his first month of training. He’d had his arse absolutely handed to him during class after class for four solid weeks, and that had quelled any potential hero worship before it could start.

No. This was the kind of giggling that made you think people were talking about you. He walked into the break room and was immediately on edge as three fellow cadets started sniggering into their tea cups, going silent as soon as he turned around and made eye contact. And it happened when Draco joined sessions too. Not to mention the sly looks and excited mutterings that broke out whenever he and Draco were paired together in classes or for fieldwork.

It was driving Harry mad. That morning in duelling practice he had been partnered with Draco to fight against another pair of cadets, learning how to effectively work offensive and defensive spells while working in a pair - just like they would once they were full Aurors. He had been surprised earlier in the year at how well he and Draco worked together when fighting, but on reflection realised they knew each other’s duelling style so well from attacking each other that it sort of made sense.

Thankfully it was Friday, and the day was done. He and Draco had been on clear-up duty, packing away the cushioned mats and returning the sparring room back to its blank slate, ready for the first class on Monday. So it was just the two of them in the changing rooms, showering before heading home.

Ordinarily Harry would have just skipped out and headed home for a shower in the comfort of his own place, but he’d promised to meet his friends at the Leaky and only had half an hour before he was due to get the first round in.

With just him and Draco in the shower rooms it was actually peaceful, no sounds but the rush of water, no laughing cadets making Harry feel like he must have something on his face. Other than the obvious of course.

Just as he was drying off, thoughts of beer and a big basket of chips filling his mind, Harry’s peace was rudely interrupted.

“POTTER!” Draco barked. “ Explain yourself!”

Harry hurried to wrap his towel around his waist, and padded out to the main changing area to see what he was being accused of. Even the sight of Draco, his own towel riding low on slim hips, his hair still dripping water onto his surprisingly broad chest, didn't distract Harry from the sheer horror induced by the entire wall of graffiti he found.

There was the usual house pride slogans, the Hufflepuffs perhaps not so surprisingly prolific taggers given their famous loyalty. There was even a Deathly Hallows icon - a remnant from those first months post-war when Harry saw them everywhere. Some clever bugger had even charmed a big marker quill to stick to the wall - so anyone wanting to add their own touch to the wall wouldn't find themselves without a writing implement.

But the pièce de résistance was the two feet tall portrait someone had drawn of him and Draco together. As in. Carnally. It didn’t have quite the artistic flair of Dean’s magical moving paintings, but mini-Harry and mini-Draco didn’t seem to let that hold them back - both of them looking over their shoulders with surprised expressions while they continued rocking and thrusting together. With gusto.

Harry felt a hot flush creeping up his neck, and it was only half from embarrassment. His fellow cadets’ laughter and meaningful glances between him and Draco suddenly made sense. Clearly the whole bloody lot of them were in on it - given the number of different handwriting styles decorating the wall.

Draco was similarly pink, points of colour high on his cheekbones giving away his emotional state - just like when he got angry at school. If Harry wasn't sure Draco was about to launch into a full blown rant he might even have taken a moment to admire the way his rage made his eyes so bright. But an angry Draco was a long-winded Draco, and the pub was calling Harry.

“Clearly I didn’t bloody do this, Malfoy.” He gestured at the layers of writing and doodles. “This is the whole fucking team at it. Look! I’m not a Hufflepuff am I?!”

A scoff was his only response. Then Draco pointed out the ‘I need HP like a grindylow needs water’ tag, and raised one pointed eyebrow meaningfully at Harry.

“I think this smacks of your usual ego actually, even if you did seem to have gotten over that recently. And look - isn’t that your abysmal handwriting?!”

Harry peered at the word Draco was pointing at.

“What the fuck is ‘drarry’ though? I definitely didn’t write that. I don’t even know that spell.”

Draco rolled his eyes so hard Harry was surprised they didn’t fall out of his head. So overdramatic.

“It’s clearly a fucking portmanteau, Potter, you absolute idiot. Anyway. Aren’t we ignoring the elephant in the room here? They’ve drawn us fucking for Merlin’s sake - in our place of work! ”

Draco was working himself up to high dudgeon now, and Harry couldn’t exactly blame him. It was inappropriate. But it was also pretty funny. And frankly, from his perspective, he couldn’t blame the rest of their class for getting a bit carried away. He knew he must have contributed to whatever idea they had of the two of them together, with the way his eyes lingered on Draco’s arse so regularly. Even so, they should probably talk to the head of the Cadet teaching team, get this all sorted out before it spilled into a more public forum.

But winding Draco up had been one of Harry’s specialty subjects up to this point in his life, and far more fun than resisting Imperio or defeating Dark Lords, so he decided to indulge himself. Even if he ended up late for pub night. Or with a black eye.

“You’re right, you know. This is wrong.” He paused for a moment, taking in Draco’s approving nod before gleefully marching on to turn it into a thunderous glare. “Who said you get to top?”

A strangled noise escaped Draco’s open mouth, his brows twisted with frustration. Harry tried to keep his soaring satisfaction hidden, loving the play of emotions over Draco’s usually calm face. There was just something about seeing him get all flustered that made Harry feel the same way he did when he reached out to grab the snitch. Elated.

“ That’s what you take issue with?”

He was even gesturing with his hands now. Elegant fingers pointed angrily at their twins on the wall - still merrily copulating - while the other hand gripped the knot holding his towel up. Harry couldn’t help but drop his gaze for a moment, imagining what he might see if he annoyed Draco enough for him to let go of that towel for a moment.

Ever the hopeful Gryffindor, Harry leant forward and grabbed the marker quill. He grinned at Draco before drawing a big arrow pointing at their doodled likenesses, then wrote in bold letters ‘OK BUT HARRY TOPS’. He drew back and watched as Draco read his addition to the wall, waiting for the inevitable bomb to go off. This was better than sparring.

“There. I fixed it.”

But instead of an explosion of the poshest invective he’d ever had the pleasure of hearing - Draco’s command of archaic swear words was genuinely one of the highlights of their working together - Harry watched as Draco fell silent. His eyes were wide as he stared at what Harry had written, the spots of pink high on his cheekbones blooming into a flush that travelled down his neck and even onto his chest.

And now Harry was looking at his nipples. Fuck.

When he managed to drag his treacherous eyes away from those pert, pink, perfectly lickable buds he found Draco’s sharp gaze trained fully on his face. This didn’t bode well.

“You...fixed it? ‘Okay but Harry tops’ is you fixing it? That was the only part of this whole thing-” he gestured wildly at the wall. “That’s the only bit you have an issue with? Not the whole. Drarry thing. Seriously?”

He actually sounded almost plaintive. Harry suddenly regretted taking the piss, even if he hadn’t exactly lied at any point in this little melodrama.

“Um. Well. Obviously we should talk to Auror Lessing about it, it’s not fair that they’re doing this just to us. But. Well. I’m not offended people might think of us together I guess?” He shrugged his shoulders and nodded at their graffiti counterparts. “They look like they’re enjoying it anyway!”

Draco’s eyes narrowed as he watched Harry huff a nervous laugh. He advanced one step toward Harry, and Harry couldn’t help but notice the way his body still glittered with droplets of water from his shower. Couldn’t help thinking about what a pleasant way to spend some time it would be to lick each one of them. He hauled his thoughts back from that treacherous direction; his towel didn’t hide much and it definitely wouldn’t hide a very work-inappropriate stiffy.

“They do look like they’re having fun, don’t they.” Draco murmured.

Harry swallowed hard at the deep timbre of his voice.

“ That Harry doesn’t seem to be too disappointed to be on the receiving end. Shame it’s not an accurate reflection of reality.”

All thoughts of propriety flew out of Harry’s mind at that. Draco sodding Malfoy was flirting with him. Undeniably. Could a bit of embarrassing graffiti really be the thing that pushed them beyond the weird tension they’d had since eighth year?

“Well. Um.” He cleared his throat. “It’s just the assumption really. Probably because I’m shorter than you. But I’m pretty, um, versatile. And, ah, height difference doesn’t matter much in bed, I find.”

For the span of a heartbeat Harry feared he’d misread the situation, overstepped the mark. But then a wicked grin grew on Draco’s face and he knew he’d hit just the right spot. He stepped closer still, making Harry tilt his head up slightly to maintain their eye contact.

The small space between them filled with heat, and Harry felt like if he breathed in deeply enough their chests might even touch. He wondered if Draco was still holding his towel so tightly, but didn’t dare look down, didn’t want to break this moment stretching between them.

“I agree Potter. Very unfair of them to pigeon-hole you. They should know better by now.” He raised an eyebrow, challenge in every line of his face. “I was thinking of skipping pub night this evening in favour of a hot bath and a curry. But, as you’re feeling so versatile I’m happy to be flexible too. How about I join you and the rest of the motley crew for the obligatory Friday night pint, and then you join me for food?”

Harry felt his mouth drop open, shocked Draco had been the one of them to finally come out and say it so boldly. Draco just leaned closer still, his breath hot against Harry’s ear as he whispered, sending a corresponding shiver of excitement down his spine.

“I reckon we can test out your height difference theory, I’m sure my sofa would do the trick too - if you want to demonstrate for me?”

The image that conjured in Harry’s mind was enough to make him snap his mouth shut and stifle a groan of desire. He reached out to finally touch Draco, and closed the tiny distance between them to kiss him fully on the mouth. A broad palm at his waist, gripping tightly, pulled a gasp out of him. He dragged himself away from Draco’s mouth with difficulty, already panting slightly.

“Fuck pub night, get dressed. Last one to the apparition point is paying for the curry.”

With that Harry dashed across the room to pull his trousers on, grinning as he watched Draco wrangle his own on over still damp legs. He couldn’t wait to see what this mutual competitive spirit would create outside of the quidditch pitch or duelling ring, but he was sure it would be absolutely worth the tongue-lashing he’d get from Ron for ditching the sacred Friday night drinks for Draco.

Tagging @tedahfromtayla @maesterchill @tomoewantsdolls

[ranawaytothedas]

The Event in Question

Summery: A funny little oneshot with Tamaris, Solas, Mathras and Dorian… out on a mission to find a book. Some amusing things happen a few days before and when Tamaris is the only one who could fit, it leaves the men left to talk about the events of the previous days. 

AO3 LINK - HERE

Word Count -  2,309

Rating - Mature (for swearing)

Ships -

Solas/F!Lavellan

Dorian/M!Lavellan

A/N - This really stemmed from be trying to just build some more background for Tamaris and Solas, that included relationship dynamics between them as a couple and Dorian and Mathras as a couple. So I decided to write this one shot of them basically fighting over sending Tamaris into a cave alone to retrieve a book they needed because she was the only one who could fit. 

*Full story below the cut*

The midsummer’s heat was oppressive in the thick, humid air of the Emerald Graves. It had been quite some time since Tamaris had crawled down a small opening into a cavern below in hopes of retrieving a vital piece of text that the Inquisition had been searching for months. Mathras had tried to fit but his shoulders were too broad, which easily excluded both Dorian and Solas as options as well. Leaving only Tamaris to risk the unknown alone. Something that Solas had been none too pleased about. Though, while he argued with Mathras about the merits of just widen the hole, Tamaris had slipped down the hole almost unnoticed, by the others. Not wanting to wait around for the men to make up their minds.

Solas paced in front of the entrance, carefully listening for any sign of her but the last noise they had been her shouting she was fine after climbing down. No footsteps, screams or even curses. Only silence. It was unnerving. “She really should have found it by now.” Solas stated plainly as he paused his pacing and turned to Mathras. 

The younger man was sitting on a nearby rock, his head resting in his hands as his knee jigged nervously. “You are not telling me anything I don’t know Solas.” Mathras snapped. He had been on edge as well since Tamaris had ventured into the cave. All their lives he had been there to protect her, keep her safe, till the Inquisition came storming into their lives and turning them on their heads. The twins were drifting apart, perhaps it was just natural with age, but it was more than that. Tamaris had been with Solas for several months by this point in time, he suspected their relationship started before they had found Skyhold but he had never been brave enough to ask his sister. His relationship with Dorian began after and with someone else in each of their lives they found less time to spend together. Which was part of the reasoning behind Tamaris asking him and Dorian to join her and Solas on this excursion. ‘It will be good for the four of us to spend time together. I miss spending time with you,’ Tamaris’s voice rang so clearly in Mathras’s mind and it did little to calm his nerves. “It think we need to just make the hole bigger… then we fit in and can get to her because what if she fell…” 

“She is very clumsy.” Solas noted quickly with a hint of panic in his voice that caused a dismissive chuckle to escape Dorian’s lips as he walked up behind Solas and place a hand on his shoulder. Slowly Solas’s cold blue eyes moved to Dorian’s hand clasped upon his shoulder. His lips pursed as let out a low groan, almost a growl and Dorian just smirked. 

“Stop it. You are all bark and no bite, Solas…” He quipped quickly before letting go of the elf’s shoulder and standing between Mathras and Solas. He had every confidence that Tamaris was going to be just fine and he needed to convince the other two men to have just as much confidence in his small, blonde friend. “Listen, I understand you both are worried about our delicate little flower, but can we not try to have a little optimism.” He gestured between the two men. “You both love her, in very different ways… as we are all well aware of now…” He chuckled softly to himself, recalling an incident a few nights before when Dorian and Mathras had inadvertently stumbled upon Tamaris and Solas down by the river in a very private moment. The reference of it alone caused Mathras to groan and Solas to cover his face with his hand to hide his own embarrassment. Their reactions caused Dorian to chuckle with amusement. “Oh please, stop acting so prudish the both of you…” 

Mathras’s eyes narrowed in on Dorian, a scowl painted across his lips. “I am not a prude, I just… never… ever…” 

“Can we not?” Solas interjected quickly, his hand still covering his face. 

Dorian laughed again. Seeing Solas and Mathras squirm over the whole incident was something he knew he would delight in for years. He turned to Solas with a bright smile on his lips,  “You two were the ones going at it out in the open when there was a perfectly good tent back at camp. You are not allowed to act like you have some giant stick up your ass now, Solas. Not with me.” Solas lowered his hand slightly to glare at Dorian who was still highly amused by his embarrassment. “I mean, it looked like you were getting the job done… so to speak…” 

A pained, retching sound escaped Mathras’s lips as he doubled over sticking his head between his legs. “Stop talking about sticks up people arses and my sister in the same sentence…” He pleaded as he tried to push the feeling of being sick from his mind. “Please… that image is forever burned in my fucking mind…” 

While Dorian was laughing at Mathras’s slightly over dramatic display, Solas turning his back away from the other because he was not going to engage in the conversation Dorian was attempting to have. The men were preoccupied enough that they didn’t hear the shouts coming from the cave below till Tamaris screamed. “DID YOU FORGET I WAS DOWN HERE?” which finally got the three men’s attention. 

Mathras lowered a rope down into the hole, once Tamaris had is tied around her she gave it a tug and the three men helped pull her from the hole. As she emerged it was obvious she had run into some trouble. Her hair had completely fallen out of the braids and bun she normally kept it in. Dirt and blood was smeared all over her face, and she was slightly out of breath as settled on the muddy ground once she was out. Solas and Mathras were fussing over her, talking over each other trying to figure out if she was alright.

“Did you fall? Anything feel broken?” Mathras asked as he took his sister’s bloody hand and looked at it closer. 

Solas pushed him out of the way as he looked her over, “What was in the cave? Do you feel well? You look a little pale?” Tamaris was not amused with all the fretting as she waved them both off her and raised her hand to Dorian who happily helped her to her feet. 

“I am fine, well sore and in desperate need of a proper bath… but fine.” She explained as she dusted offer her heavy leather coat before pulling the leather bound tome from her bag. “I got it though…” Her eyes were bright and a smirk played on her lips as she held the book up for the men to see. 

Mathras beamed at his sister, incredibly proud of her. A year ago if someone had told them that Tamaris could hold her own, alone in a battle he would have laughed. He leaned in and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “I never doubted you…” 

“He lies..” Dorian pointed out as he took the book from Tamaris’s hands. Giving her smirk and little nod towards Mathras. The smaller of the twin’s scowled at her brother with great disapproval as Dorian continued. “In Fact the pair of them were about to blow holes in the earth to come find you.” Tamaris gaze shifted to Solas who gave her an apologetic look. “Myself, on the other hand. I had nothing but the utmost confidence you would be fine.” He quipped as he began to thumb through the pages of the book to confirm it was the right one. 

Tamaris looked between Mathras and Solas, the two people she had expected to have the most confidence in her ability to hold her own in difficult situations. While her fighting skills were not near the level of other members of their merry little band, Tamaris had arguably made the greatest progress with training and learning how to hold her own. She had been so proud of herself, her first solo excursion being successfully only to have that pride hindered by the two people she cared about the most. Her deep violet eyes darted between their faces. Mathras was trying to laugh it off, with a mischievous little smirk playing on his lips as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Tamaris shrugged it off as she glared at Solas, his eyes still filled with a great deal of concern. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she glanced between them once more, “Really… you know I did go toe to toe with Corypheus and lived…” 

“Barely..” Mathras added half under his breath as he took a step away from his sister with his head down. 

Solas reached out and attempted to take Tamaris’s hand but she pulled it back. “Vhenan, we were concerned, you ran off before we had even made a decision.” His tone was calm but Tamaris could tell that he was annoyed with her choice not to wait. “A few more moments and we could have come up with a better option. One that did not put all the risk on your shoulders.” 

“All the risk is ALWAYS on my shoulders.” Tamaris snapped harshly as she took a step towards Dorian with her hands up silencing both of the men before they had a chance to respond. “Do you both forget so easily who has the fucking Anchor!?” She screamed frustrated that even though she was supposed to have some say in things, that it was still the men in her life trying to dictate her every action. “You know the thing that is slowly killing me but can fix the hole if the fucking sky!” Her gemstone eyes danced with anger as she scowled. “Do I never get to have a say in what happens to me? DO I?!” She bellows before turning around, pushing her way past Dorian who tried to cleverly block her path. Her hand shoving the book up into his face. “I hope your happy with your fucking book, Dorian…” She snapped bitterly before storming off. 

As he was going to follow her hand hand wrapped around Solas’s wrist stopping him. It was Mathras who just shook his head. He knew that following his sister was the worst possible thing Solas could do in the moment. He couldn’t let him make that mistake. “Not if you know what’s good for you…” He cautioned as he continued to shake his head. 

Solas pulled his arm away and scowled at Mathras. “We can not just let her..” 

“Oh you can and you will…” Dorian interject, cutting Solas off as he closed the book tucking it under his arm. Before Mathras was his lover,Tamaris was his friend. The first in the Inquisition to treat him without suspicion and like any other member of the organization. He was very fond of her, perhaps it was part of the reason he found himself so fond of her brother. He was not about to let either of them, particularly Solas treat her like a helpless child. He knew she had enough of that kind of treatment in her lifetime. “The woman has spent most of her life with someone always looking over her shoulder, telling her dangerous she is… how she can not handle things.” Dorian started rather upset, his free hand gesturing in the direction that Tamaris had stormed in. “She is now at the very center of an event that will in all likelihood reshape the very fabric of existence… perhaps we all should have a little more faith in her abilities to protect herself.” There was anger in his voice but also a bit of smugness. His deep chocolate eyes narrowed in on Solas. “You,” His hand swooping around and point at Solas. “Need to remember just because you may love her,” Solas looked shocked by the statement but even Mathras wasn’t buying it and certainly not Dorian. “Please Solas, we all see the way you look at her. You are hopelessly in love with her. But that does not mean you can control her every movement and whim.” 

Solas was taken aback by Dorian’s bold statement, not that boldness wasn’t expected from the Tevinter. He parted his lips to respond, yet Dorian beat him to the punch. “There is no arguing this point, Solas.” Solas was about to start his retort and Dorian lifted his hand as a mother to a child. “None.” He reiterated. 

His frustration growing, Solas turned to Mathras to look for some support on the matter. The other blonde elf shook his head nervously as he lifted his hands signalling he wanted no part in it. “Oh no, I am not getting involved in this for a number of reasons, least of all being if I involve myself in her relationship she will involve herself in mine and I really do not want that. So you two are going to figure it out amongst yourselves.” Mathras put his hands up as he began to walk down towards the stream. “I will meet you both back at camp…” Leaving the two mages looking at each other, both suddenly feeling quite out of place.

The two remained staring at each other in silence for a moment before Dorian cleared his throat. “I guess... I should ...um..” Dorian pointed off in the direction that Mathras had gone off in before going off in that direction himself. Solas went off in search of Tamaris, despite the advisement against such an action. 

It took Solas far longer to find Tamaris than he would have liked to admit, but when he did the sight of her was worth it. Tamaris sat next to her armor wiping the dirt and blood off it with a rag. She was wearing only a pale beige tunic that hit mid thigh as she knelt near the water. Her hair was damp and ride of the dibrise that been it when she had stormed off. Tamaris seemed calmer, from a distance at least, as she lent over to pick up her coat. It was in that moment she noticed Solas standing a few feet away. Settling back, now sitting on her feet as she knelt. Her hand patted the space next to her on the ground. When Solas hesitated she smiled softly as she repeated the action. “I am not that upset any more..” She playfully reassured.

With a smirk playing on his lips, Solas joined her on the ground. He turned to her and pushed a cluster of damp hair behind her ear. “Ir abelas, vhenan.” He murmured softly. 

A warm smile grew on Tamaris’s lips as she reached out and cupped her cheek. “I know the worry came from a place of love, ma’lath.” Leaning in she pressed her lips against his to stop him from over complicating the moment. It was one of her favorite tactics to quite Solas these days. Tamaris started to giggle as Solas began to trail soft kisses along her jaw and down her neck. As Tamaris ran her hand up the back of his smooth head, she laughed. “This is what got us caught the last time…” 

Instantly Solas stopped and lifted his head looking up at her, cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment before he started to laugh. “I could have sworn I set wards, I always set wards…” He settled back and slipped his arm around Tamaris. “I mean, I did set wards?” He questioned softly, unsure if he was recalling the events correctly. 

Tamaris let out a soft, amused sigh. “No, I do not think you did. I was bathing and waiting for you to join me, as we agreed upon before I left camp.” Solas nodded as he recalled similar events. “Then when you came down, it was as if all other thoughts had slipped your mind.” The chuckle in her voice as she spoke made Solas smirk as he leaned back recalling the event. 

He sighed blissfully, “Yes, now I recall.” He mused, glancing over at Tamaris. “I had expected you to wait for me but you did not.” A devious glint grew in his eyes as he could picture the image of her standing in the river, the water barely reaching her hips. He let out a ragged sigh. “I am a weak man…” He concluded. “Distracted by perfection.” Tamaris’s cheeks flushed as he leaned in and placed another kiss on her lips. This one more passionate than the last. It caught Tamaris off guard, a small yelp of surprise muffled by Solas’s smirking lips. 

As much as she wanted to indulge she knew there were still threats around and they were too far from camp to take such a risk. Her small hand slipped between their bodies and gently pushed Solas back. “We really should get back to camp…” She urged as she broke the kiss. Solas nodded knowing she told the truth. Tamaris could see the disappointment in his eyes. With a smirk, she patted his cheek. “Do not frett, ma’lath… there is a perfectly good tent and if my brother and Dorian must subject us to listening to them on a nightly basis…” 

A broad smile grew across Solas’s face, his eyes were bright and full of laughter. “You are such a devious little thing at times…” He teased as he watched Tamaris stand up carefully. Even standing the tunic still hit just above mid thigh, which was just enough to cover all the important bits to passers by. Solas had quite a different view from his position still on the ground. He smirked as he enjoyed his view before getting caught. 

Tamaris glanced over her shoulder and smirked. “I’m the devious one.” She chided softly as she pointed towards her armor. “Make yourself useful and carry my armor, please.” Tamaris watched as Solas sighed having to move from his rather advantageous position. It didn’t take him long to gather the garments. As they started to set beck off to camp Tamaris wrapped her arm around his, her cheek resting against his shoulder as she smiled softly. “You know, of all of them… you are the only I do not get mad at...well truly mad at… for bossing me around.” She mused softly catching Solas’s attention. 

“Not really.”

Smirking up at Solas, Tamaris stopped and turned to him. She laughed softly as he leaned up and gave him a quick peck. “Nevermind.” She tried to dismiss him but Solas shook his head as he reached out and placed his hand on her waist urging her to continue. Tamaris blushed. “Fine.” She conceded with a sigh. “With Mathras he worries because he feels obligated. He is my brother. My only family left. I am his responsibility…” She explained with a disheartened sigh. Solas shook his head in disagreement but Tamaris nodded. “It’s the truth. I have come to terms with it.” A small smile flashed across her lips trying to reassure him it wasn’t as upsetting as it sounded. Reaching out she gripped Solas’s arm. “With you, you chose me… you picked this mess.” The laughter in voice made Solas smirk. “Now, you are stuck with me.” She laughed as she took his arm. 

Solas beamed down at Tamaris and for a moment her forgot everything else but his feelings for her. “I would not wish it another way, Vhenan.” He kissed the top of her head as they set back to camp, arm in arm. 

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Part of Your World

Chapter 4: poor unfortunate simon

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 2432

Chapter 4/11 (All chapters)

Summary: Simon makes a life changing decision.

Read on AO3

AN: Well I finished my last exam yesterday, so in celebration, here's the next chapter early! Yay! Tbh I also felt the last chapter was too short/not enough happened so and I wanted to give y'all something new sooner. And from now on I'll be posting every Monday and Thursday! Double yay! Hope you like this :) PS: Creds to @carryonmylovelies for the incredible chapter title. She's a lot smarter than me, obviously.

———————————————-

“Simon? You in here?”

Penny stuck her head through the door, and her heart sank. It was worse than she thought. When she saw David come home alone fuming, she expected something bad. But this was just beyond terrible. Everything Simon had collected over the years, all the things he loved, were destroyed. The merman himself lay at the centre of the wreckage like the eye of the hurricane, face in his arms. Simon’s soft crying was the only sound in the room.

“Oh, Simon,” she sighed as she sat next to him. “I’m so sorry.”

He whimpered, burying his face further into the ground. Penny placed a hand on his upper back and rubbed soothing circles

“Why would he do this?” Simon whispered. “ I-I wasn’t hurting anyone. It was just stuff. Does he really hate humans that much?”

“I guess so.” She picked up a piece of debris next to her, half the prince statue’s face. She traced a finger over the sharp cheekbones, thin lips, and piercing eyes. “Destroyed your new one too, huh?”

His head snapped up and he snatched it from her. Penny backed away defensively. Simon looked at it mournfully, tracing a finger over the features. It was the last reminder he had of Baz. And his father had destroyed it. Out of spite.

“I hate him, Pen,” he muttered. “I really hate him.”

The ground shook slightly under Simon, his magic responding to his anger like usual. Penny was startled. This was the first time Simon had actually said he disliked David. Not an indistinct grunt or groan, but an actual statement against him.

“Yeah, I get it, Si. He did a really horrible thing. You can stay at my place for time being.”

Simon didn’t respond. He looked at the bedrock intensely. The thoughts were tumbling around his head like a hurricane. Sorting and choosing and rationalizing, all in what really was a few seconds. They filtered down to one conclusion. One stupid, reckless, amazing conclusion.

“I want to go to the surface.”

Penelope sighed. “Simon, that’s very risky. I know you want to replace this stuff, but what if a human spots us or-”

“No no no.” He shook his head rapidly. “I want to go there...to stay...”

She kept staring at him confused. He saw the revelation slowly hit her, eyes widening and mouth falling open.

“Oh my stars!” she yelled, jolting up off the rock and floating over Simon. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?!”

“Yes. Transformation spells are a thing, it’s possible”

Penelope rubbed her forehead, trying to smooth out her increasing number of worry lines. “You cannot be serious.”

“I am! Penny, I want to leave, so badly. And I...I want to see, him again.”

“Really, Si?!” She put her hands on her hips. “You want to become human and possibly leave your home forever for some pretty boy prince?!

Simon swam up to her level, throwing his arms skywards. “It’s not just that! I’ve never liked it down here, you know that. I’m a useless merman who can barely throw a spell. A-And Father is the worst. I can’t bear living for his stupid imaginary war anymore! I just-I just need to go there, to get away, and...to get to know Baz better.” His head and arms fell down. “I can’t get him out of my head, Pen. I want- I need to know if there’s a chance.”

Penny swam back and forth, running hands through her hair. “Simon this is totally insane! You’ll be giving up your tail, your magic, your life, just to go be with some human prince you’ve seen once. I mean, how can you not see the problems here?! I know your father’s an arse but that doesn’t mean running away forever! Why can’t you just stay here? Where you’ll be safe and...” Penny finally turned to look at Simon. Her heart sank at his wide eyes, at the way his slightly open mouth was curved in a desperate frown. “And...totally miserable.” She hung her head and groaned. “Fine. I’ll help you.”

Simon gasped, then promptly tackle hugged her, hurling them through the water. “Thank you Penny! Thank you thank you!”

“Don’t thank me yet, Si. I need to find and do a spell first.”

“You will, I know it. You’re the bestest spell caster ever!”

Penelope rolled her eyes with a smile, shoving him her. “Yeah yeah, no need to butter me up, I’m already helping you.”

Simon tugged her hand. “C’mon c’mon let’s go!”

Penny sighed. She always ended up doing the craziest things with Simon. But this would definitely top the list.

———————————————-

Penelope’s family spell collection was insane. There were hundreds of tablets with hundreds of different spells. That’s where all her family members were now, wandering around the ocean, finding and creating new incantations like the majority of merfolk so. Which gave the younger merfolk free reign of the spell room.

Simon and Penny sat with many pieces of stones surrounding them. Simon tried not to let his eyes glaze over but it was getting very difficult. He scanned over the words looking for a clue, any clue. But soon, his prayers were answered. He stopped at one spell. It was just what he wanted, created for a lovestruck mermaid to be with a human. Perfect.

“Pen! I found it!”

He raced over to her, shoving the tablet in her face. “Jeez Simon, let me actually read it.”

She looked the writing over, chewing on her lip nervously. Simon watched her intently as his heart beat so fast he feared it would burst. “So? Will it work?”

Penelope sighed and nodded slowly. “Yes. But...”

Simon’s face fell. “But what?”

“But it only lasts three days. For it to become permanent, he has to fall in love with you and prove it by kissing you before sunset on the third day. That’s a lot to do in so little time. I’d be surprised if this spell ever worked.” Simon made a sound far too close to a whine. She sighed. Why must he be so pathetic and adorable at the same time?

“I mean,” she said, scratching her chin. “I could push it to five days with some work. Give you more time. But you’d still need to get him to fall for you, and kiss you. That I can’t change. And...extending the days means you’ll have to give a sacrifice.”

“What, like for a power source?”

“Yes. It’s the only way to make it last longer. It needs to be an offering or show of faith. To do something this big you need to be willing to give up something big of your own.”

Simon had vague memories of his Father’s lessons. (He only ever half paid attention). Yeah, that seemed right. Spells that were strong, reality altering magic sometimes needed an extra push. And without aid from an outside power source, like David’s trident, you would have to relinquish a part of yourself. It was a quid pro quo.

“So what do I need to do?” Simon asked, determination in his blue eyes. “Cut off some hair? A finger? Let some blood? Give my soul? I hope it’s not that. I like my soul.”

Penelope rolled her eyes and shook her head, swishing her purple curls. “No, it’s not ever something so physical, Simon. Did you actually listen during your lessons?” Simon frowned, and Penny immediately felt terrible. He didn’t need to be put down any more today, or any more period. Which only reinforced why she had to do this. So she petted his hair, and felt relieved when she saw him smile.

“Well,” she said, “my Mum said a good sacrifice is usually a sense or ability. Like sight or hearing, or a skill you’re proficient at, like spellwork. The willingness to give up stuff that big is strong enough to enhance a spell. I’m not sure what you could do. I think-”

“What about my voice?”

Penny’s eyes went wide. She stared at Simon, looking at him blankly for a long time, before realising he wasn’t kidding. “What?!”

“What if I give up my voice? As the sacrifice?”

“Simon, that’s- I don’t know...”

He shrugged and looked down sheepishly. “I mean, I’m not good with words anyway. And of course I want to see and hear him. But he doesn’t need to hear me speak. I can use my other ways to talk, I guess. And-And it’s not like I’m good enough at spellwork for the sacrifice of it to be enough.”

“Si-”

“C’mon Pen, nothing else will work. We both know that.”

She rubbed her lips together, racking her brain for an alternative. But he was right. Taking anything else would be too much of a hindrance or not powerful enough. Penny sighed, then nodded. “Alright. Help me set up the ingredients.”

———————————————-

Penny tossed the entire glass bottle into David’s cauldron. The smoke within brewed and churned. Another beaker added and it turned green. Simon watched with absolute fascination. Only his father had ever done something like this and it was only once.

Penny held the sea cow tongue, the final ingredient, in her hand, just over the pot. But she was unmoving. Simon furrowed his brow.

“What’re you waiting for? Throw it in!”

“Simon,” Penny said. Her tone was sympathetic, that of a worried true friend. “Before I finish this, are you really sure? Do you remember how transformation spells work? Once it’s cast, I can’t turn you back, nothing can. You’ll be stuck unless the time runs out. You’ll...” She closed her eyes, biting back her more morose emotions. “You’ll lose everything you know, Si, possibly forever. So, are you are really, really sure?”

He took a minute, truly letting Penny’s question roll around in his head. Yes, he did know how transformation spells worked. He knew he’d be stuck as a human for at least five days, and yes, possibly forever if the spell was completed. He could permanently lose his magic and his tail. All for the world he’s wanted to learn more about since he was 11. As well as for a new person he couldn’t get out of his head.

There was only one answer.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Penny tightened her mouth, nodded, and finally, she tossed the last ingredient into the stone pot. It exploded in a mushroom cloud of bright greens and blues and purples. It roared like thunder, swirling like a storm. Simon backed up. He couldn’t help but be frightened.

“You gotta say something, Simon,” Penny yelled over the noise.

“Like what?”

“Anything! Just needs to be continuous.”

One thing popped into Simon’s brain. It was a simple vocalisation constantly stuck in his subconscious. It always sounded like it was sung by a woman. Simon sometimes wondered if it was his mother. And even Simon, with his harpy screech of a voice, could copy it.

He sang.

A smoking green hand reached out from the pot. It was bony looking with long claws, twisting towards him. Simon had to stop himself from running, remembering he wanted this. Getting away from David, going to land, meeting Baz, it was all worth the fear. It had to be.

The hand reached down his throat. It was like he’d inhaled a whirlpool, pulling and sucking within his windpipe. He couldn’t think or breathe or do anything but wait. And then he felt it, when the magic took hold. In one second he was singing the remembered song, and in the next he simply no longer could. His own voice was yanked from him, a piece of himself literally ripped away like it was nothing. As if it was plucking a mere hair from his head. The hand left his throat and held his voice out front of him. It was now a tiny golden ball of light, held between two smokey green fingers. He meant to say “Neptune’s beard”.

But no words came out.

The hand turned fiery orange, charged with the power of Simon’s sacrifice. It pulled back into the smoke soup, leaving the tiny sun floating aimlessly. Penny gently took the the orb and shoved it into her shell necklace. A spell only needed an act of sacrifice. So she could save the voice itself. What could she do with it? Who knew. As far as she knew, no one had ever gotten a sacrificed returned to them. Maybe it couldn’t ever be given back, even if the spell timed out. Simon could be voiceless forever no matter what. But she’d save it, just in case, for her best friend.

The smoke roared louder, becoming nearly deafening. Bright light washed out everything else in the room. The room vanished around Simon. Everything happened too fast. An orange bubble snapped around his whole body. The sensation and texture of it reminded him a jellyfish. The pain came next. It felt like a something sharp slicing right through the middle of his tail, splitting the limb in two. It was beyond agonizing. Simon screamed and screamed, but only released more silence.

And just like that, it was all gone. The room was back to normal, with no zero multi-coloured light or thunder. Simon flapped his arms and kicked his feet. His feet, attached to his long human legs. He kicked them frantically, trying to keep himself afloat with their relatively weak power. And...

He couldn’t breathe.

Water filled his lungs instead of passing through them like usual. He clawed at his throat, his eyes bugging out at his friend. He tried to speak with only a look. “Penny I can’t breathe, I can’t fucking breathe!” Penelope gasped and rushed towards him.

Simon's vision started to fill with black spots, his limbs familiar and new becoming heavy. He could barely feel Penny grab him and swim them up out of a hole at the top of her coral house. She swam faster than she ever had before. The water rushed around them as they rocketed towards the light of land above. And soon they burst through the ocean surface.

Simon took a deep gasping breath and came back to life. He floated in the water, new legs treading weakly, still panting heavily. His head slumped onto Penny. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave it a squeeze, saying “thank you” with the simple gesture.

Penny patted his hand. “You’re welcome, Simon,” she said, her own breathing laboured. “Let’s get you to your prince.”

Simon nodded. Then he promptly passed out.

———————————————-

AN: Simon is human and voiceless! What will happen next? Well, I know what will happen, I wrote it. But all of you will find out next Monday :D

[joyfullynervouscreator]

Guard-Recruit pt2

Chapter 1

word count 3.7k

Because it would have been your day off even if you hadn’t quit the Guard – the thought still made you scowl at Dwalin’s memory – Kíli showed up bright and early next morning as usual, eager to get some target practice in. He might be almost thirty years your junior and a mischief-maker to boot, but you’d found a fondness for each other as the only ones in Ered Luin who used a bow as your main weapon.

“Impressive,” Kíli whistled when you opened the door. You looked at him, not comprehending his meaning. With a sigh, the young prince gestured at the drying warg skins left on racks beside your house. You smiled.

“I’m making stock with the meat,” you said. Warg did not make good eating, the meat was stringy and oddly textured, but you could make surprisingly flavourful stock from the meat and bones with just a few herbs. It’d keep for ages in wax-sealed jars, too, so you’d have a ready supply for making stews and soups come winter.

“Really?” Kíli frowned, “Amadel tried that once, but it was horrid.”

“My adad had a trick for it,” you shrugged. Living in the middle of nowhere, you learned to get by, after all, and it had been a desperate winter the first time you tried warg-soup.

“Invite me over when you make food with it!” Kíli said, suddenly excited. You laughed fondly.

“Sure,” you promised, making him beam at you before he pulled you off towards the archery range where Álfífa would be waiting to teach her class. Neither of you really needed the class, but it was a tradition by now that you went and had a friendly competition. You almost wished that Álfífa had been your instructor in the Guard – she was Dwalin’s second in command and they traded training duties – perhaps then you’d still want to be in the Guard? You might have quit in a rage – how dare he call you not good enough, you were more than good enough! – but it didn’t make your desire to never see or speak to Dwalin again any less fervent. You firmly told yourself that had nothing to do with the disrupted kiss whatsoever.

 “I heard there was a small fracas yesterday, Arnfrith,” Álfífa said calmly. You envied her serenity; nothing ever seemed to fluster Álfífa or shake her calm.

“Arnfrith killed two wargs with Dwalin’s war-hammer,” Kíli piped up, proudly. You elbowed him, blushing redder than Álfífa’s hair. “They destroyed a pack of wandering orcs!”

“Shut up, Kíli!” you hissed, but Álfífa just smiled and waved you over to take your place in the line of archers. You breathed deeply, letting go of everything beside the bow and the target, feeling the longed-for serenity fill you. No matter if you were shooting targets or hunting, having the bow in your hand reminded you of quiet hunts with adad, of sitting by the fire and fletching arrows while amad knitted you a pair of new winter mittens. This was your peace.

  That night, you set about implementing the plan you’d concocted during the day on the archery range. Feeling a little bad about not saying goodbye to Kíli in person, you agonized for an hour about what to write him, sure that Kíli would be the only one to come looking for you. When you were finished with the letter, adding the recipe for warg-stock soup on a whim, you packed in silence. You didn’t own much you’d have to leave behind, but you had asked your friend to keep safe what was left in your small house, not knowing if or when you’d return.

 “Arnfrith’s gone!” Kíli shouted, running into their house and brandishing a letter at Dwalin. “She writes that she doesn’t want to stay in a place where surface-born Dwarrow are discriminated against,” he said, wincing at the thunderous rage that contorted Dwalin’s face.

“What?!” Dwalin roared. His fist slammed down on the thick oak table hard enough Kíli worried there’d be a dent. The noise brought Dís and Thorin running from other parts of the building, as Kíli sheepishly repeated his news.

“Guess you waited too long, Dwalin,” Thorin sighed, putting a hand on the warrior’s shoulder. Dwalin shook it off furiously.

“I’m going after her, bringing her home,” he growled. Kíli blocked the doorway.

“You shouldn’t, Dwalin,” he mumbled, adding something in an unintelligible whisper no one heard.

“Out of my way, lad,” Dwalin snarled, anger and fear sparking his temper. She might have died no more than two days ago, how could he let her go without at least making sure she was properly armed – preferably escorted by himself, of course.

“She doesn’t want you!” Kíli cried out, making Dwalin freeze in place. “She writes that she’s tired of you and others constantly telling her she’s not good enough… THAT’S why she left!”

“But..” Dwalin was flummoxed. He didn’t feel Dís’ hand guiding him back to his chair, falling heavily into the seat.

“I’m sorry,” Kíli whispered, feeling terrible. He had only been half-joking about marrying Arnfrith, but he’d miss her friendship deeply either way.

  “So, you trained under Dwalin Fundinul Shumrozbid, aye?” the burly Dwarf with the bushy beard asked. You nodded. You half wondered what had possessed you to think that joining Dáin’s army was a good plan, but you had tried sparring with the guard and it had quickly become clear to the Training Master that you were skilled enough to be a proper soldier. The ‘Uzkhas smiled broadly. “Well, that explains a lot,” he laughed, making a note on a piece of paper. “I know Dwalin from way back, of course, and his recruits are among our best soldiers and officers. You’ll do well with us, lass, wait and see.” You just nodded, vindictively pleased that you could use the name of the Dwarf who’d spent the most time belittling your skill to further your advancement in an area he’d obviously considered you unsuited for. “I’m Thekk, ‘Uzkhas for the third maznakkâ of Dáin Uzbad’s personal gangbuh. Welcome to the army of the Iron Hills, Arnfrith.”

  Watching from the back of your ram, your bow tied to the saddle like the other 6 mounted archers in your group, the Elven army looked like they outnumbered you three to one if not more. Lord Dáin, who’d been far kinder to a nameless orphan than you’d expected, called for the charge. A lot of this part was showing off, you knew, making the pointy-ears understand that you wouldn’t back off without a fight. Erebor was your people’s legacy and you’d defend it from any invaders. Bellowing war cries, you gave Gulla his head, raising your bow high.

The ground trembled.

Staring in horror at the far slopes, watching the Orcs break through the earth like an eruption of darkness, you tightened your grip on the reins, the Elven army forgotten as you faced the new foe. Controlling Gulla with your legs, you pulled your bow, in sync with the 6 other archers in the third maznakkâ and let loose a volley in tandem with the archers in the other 9 maznakkâ. The vanguard was forming a shield wall in front of you, while the battlefield engineers were scrambling to aim the spear whirlers and the portable ballistae in the direction of this new enemy. Half a war-cry drifted through the air from the mountain; turning your head, you could barely make out dark hair that could only be Kíli’s. You chuckled grimly. This wasn’t the way you’d wanted to meet your friend again after five years absence. Firing again and again, suddenly with aid from the Elven archers, you plucked off Orc after Orc, not even caring to watch your shot land before firing the next.

 A roar sounded, a horn being blown with power that could only come from a Dwarf’s lungs. A bell tolled, which was a bit peculiar, but you had little time to care about it, letting your mount have its head as it charged the orcs now in range of his deadly horns.

“DU BEKAR! BARUK KHAZÂD!” you heard, and for a brief moment you were back in a clearing in a mountain forest five years ago, hearing that same voice and calling it safety. You scowled, stabbing your long sword into the throat of a nearby orc. Now was not the time to be thinking about Dwalin… or that blasted kiss that still haunted your dreams from time to time. Whirling around, perfectly in tune with Gulla as you worked together to defend each other, you dealt death to any enemy daft enough to get in range. “KHAZÂD AI-MENU!!”

“Retreat!!” Thekk shouted, but you had no time to follow him back to the line, the Orcs coming at you thick and fast. For the first time in five years, you were afraid that you were staring at oncoming death. With a snarl, you threw yourself into the struggle to live, not willing to give the Orcs the satisfaction and hoping you might buy young Hrefn time to get back to the line while you held them off. He shouldn’t have been in your maznakkâ, really, he was not even of age, but you’d needed a 7th archer and Hrefn was the best among the younger recruits. “ARNFRITH, GET YOUR BONY ARSE BACK HERE!” You wanted to laugh. Thekk had taken you under his wing, almost a pseudo-parent ever since you’d arrived in the Iron Hills and you knew he wouldn’t forgive you for dying here.

“Arnfrith!!” Another voice screamed. Your swing faltered in surprise, hearing a voice you’d not heard in so long, his voice. And then Dwalin was there, having apparently stolen one of the ballistic wagons and shooting as though he’d been born to do so. His aim was shoddy at best, you thought, slightly smug, but the constant rate of fire meant accuracy only mattered in the Trials. You’d won in a wagon just like it for the last four years. Gulla headbutted another orc and finally you had time to draw a proper breath, once more aware of more than your immediate surroundings. You’d taken a hit to the head, you realised, feeling your helmet pressing uncomfortably against your skull. Taking it off, you inspected the damage. A sizable dent met your eyes, but you simply tossed the armour away, launching yourself from Gulla’s saddle and pushing Dwalin away from the Double Curve Bolter.

“I’ll do that, you fire!” you snapped, amazed that Dwalin actually listened. “Kíli!” you exclaimed next, finally recognizing his dark hair.

“Fancy meeting you here,” he replied, a cheeky smile on his face.

“Gulla, Gulla, Innikh!” you cried, watching as your ram turned with a snort, galloping back towards the Mountain, kicking a few Orcs on his way for good measure. You didn’t know the names of the rams that pulled the B-Wag, but they’d know the general commands. “Ihkirruki!” you barked, and the rams obeyed, putting on a burst of speed as you skilfully aimed the Bolter at the oncoming foes. “Where are we going?” you asked, your voice tight.

“Ravenhill!” Someone shouted, trying to be heard over the noise of the hooves on the frozen river. You nodded.

“Naibnisi!” you commanded. In the front of the B-Wag, you recognized the white hair of Balin, whose hands were tight on the reins though he seemed relieved to give command of the beasts over to your voice. The rams turned, dragging you up a small incline. “I’khizi!” you shouted, making the wagon come to a halt as you swivelled the Bolter around. “Ravenhill is behind us. I’ll keep them from following you,” you bit out between clenched teeth. Fíli was the first to jump from the wagon. Kíli followed him, a fond squeeze to your shoulder that you returned with a smile.

“Arnfrith,” Dwalin said, plaintive. Surprise made you look at him questioningly. “Please don’t hate me for trying to keep you safe,” he whispered, and suddenly you found yourself in the exact same position you’d been in five years ago. Only this time, the kiss had a hard edge of desperation, and ended far too quickly for your taste, staring up at blue eyes once again. You growled.

“We WILL talk about this, later,” you snarled, pulling him back to your lips for one more kiss, your hand fisted in the harness that crossed his chest. When you let him go this time, he grinned boyishly at you before jumping from the wagon and following the princes up the path. Balin took his place.

“You’d better not hurt him again,” he said placidly, before he began winding the crank that fired the arrows once more. You gaped silently. Dwalin wasn’t the one who’d been hurt the last time! With a scowl, you returned your attention to your task, taking out your rage and frustration on the Orcs that seemed almost innumerable.

  You woke up with no memory of having gone to bed. The room was dark, only a single candle burning. You blinked sleepily. Feeling surprisingly well, if a bit stiff, you slowly got to your feet. Your armour was gone, and you were dressed in a shift, but the lack of proper hurts told you that you hadn’t been wounded. Even the bump to the head you’d taken seemed to have healed. A chair creaked.

“Dwalin?” you asked, recognizing the shiny dome of his head. “What are you doing here?” You wrapped the fur blanket closer around yourself, moving toward the chair that held your dwarf – yes, yours, you weren’t about to let those kisses be forgotten too.

“Arnfrith?” Dwalin mumbled sleepily. You smiled, reaching out to cup his face.

“Hey, you,” you whispered. Before you’d realised he was reaching for you, you found yourself seated on his lap, straddling his strong thighs as he crushed you against his chest. Dwalin’s low sobs echoed in the darkness. You hummed soothingly, pressing kisses against his bearded jaw as you wrapped your arms around shoulders that were just as wide as you remembered. His lips found yours, in the softest of kisses as his large hands rubbed your back, making you moan and arch against him. Dwalin chuckled. You swallowed the sound as the kiss grew more passionate. You hadn’t remembered it being this good, but you couldn’t hold back a moan when his thick fingers squeezed your arse firmly.

“Arnfrith,” Dwalin nipped at your lips. Your eyes were growing accustomed to the darkness, making you able to see the whirl of emotion in his eyes. Pulling away slightly, you pressed a kiss to his nose.

“Yes?” You didn’t think he was entirely aware of the way he was moving your hips, but it felt so good to be pressed tight against him that you hoped he’d continue forever.

“Marry me.” You froze. Dwalin bit his lip, staring down at your face as that sadness began to seep into his eyes once more with your silence.

“But…” you tried to object, but he simply shook his head.

“Marry me,” he said, the words nearly a demand.

“You don’t want me,” you protested sadly, sighing as you prepared to move off him. Dwalin made a strangled sound of incredulity.

“I want you!” he nearly shouted. “Mahal wept, lass, I just asked you to be my Lady-wife!” You shook your head dumbly; he couldn’t mean it, didn’t mean it? “I want you now, just as I wanted you five years ago when you broke my heart running away, as I wanted you six years ago when you joined my class! I WANT you!” he almost roared the last part, claiming your mouth again as he pressed you hard against the evidence of his truth. For a long moment you lost yourself in his kiss; slowly beginning to believe. Those feelings your been denying for long years burst free in your chest, melting your resistance from the inside. Dwalin kissed you again.

“Dwaliiiiin,” you moaned, a needy sound you’d never uttered before. Biting his lip and snaking your tongue into his mouth when he gasped in surprise, you tightened your grip on his tunic. Pressing yourself harder against him, you rubbed yourself against the hard proof of his arousal. “Ask me,” you begged, feeling desperate to hear him again; convince yourself it wasn’t a dream. One of his hands found its way beneath your shift, the other tearing the loose fabric off your shoulder and baring your breast to his gaze.

“Marry me,” he begged, hoarsely, making you cry out in frustration when he simply breathed across your heated flesh.

“Yes, yes, Dwalin,” you moaned, one hand moving to grip the hair at the back of his head and guide his mouth where you wanted it. The soft beard on his chin stroked your sensitive flesh as he bent his head to draw your nipple into his mouth, his hands kneading your arse. “Yes!” you cried, only to moan it over and over as he systematically began to undo you.

“Say my name,” he demanded in a growl that reverberated through your bones as he increased the pressure against your core, rubbing rhythmically against him. You moaned. As your head fell forward, you turned slightly, catching his ear with your mouth.

“Dwaaaliin,” you moaned breathily, running your tongue along the shell and tugging on the cuffs with your lips. Your fingers travelled down his broad chest, undoing the laces at his throat. “Off!” you demanded, slightly petulant. With a screech of tortured fabric, Dwalin ripped off his tunic, letting your fingers dance across his naked skin, tracing the patterns of his tattoos. Trailing your fingers down to tug innefectually at his waistband, you smiled against his neck, suckling at his pulse to make him jump when you wrapped your hand around him.

“Mahal, lass,” he groaned, tilting his head to give you more room. Patience worn thin, he ripped your shift apart too, leaving the linen to float gently to the ground beside the chair. You shuddered, the warmth of his hands on your arse almost sensory overload. Keening into his skin, you panted harshly, chasing that peak you could feel coming with the force of an avalanche. Dwalin caught your mouth once more, a breathless kiss filled with tongue and teeth, and suddenly you exploded in pleasure.

 When you returned to your body, Dwalin was stroking along your back, still hard and throbbing beneath you. Pressing kisses against your tangled hair, his low chuckle rumbled through his chest when you sighed happily, leaning against his solid bulk.

“Bed, Dwalin,” you demanded, still floating blissfully. With little apparent effort, he picked you up, and once again you wrapped your legs around his waist. Sliding your arms around his neck, you pulled him down for another kiss, playfully duelling his tongue with your own. Dwalin groaned, thrusting lightly against you with each step.

“I want to have you like this, my Arnfrith,” he whispered, an admission, “just like this, against a pine tree with the thrill of battle setting my blood afire.” You could only moan in reply as you tightened your legs, rubbing shamelessly against him.

“I would have had you,” you admitted, hiding a blush against his bare shoulder. Your tongue darted out to taste his skin, “five years ago, I would have had you in that forest.” You nipped his shoulder, hard enough to be felt, though not to bruise. Dwalin moaned, his arms firmly around you.

“Please, amrâlimê, don’t say things like that if you want this to last,” he begged. You smirked, running one hand lightly down his chest until you could toy with the laces on his breeches.

“Did you want that, Dwalin?” you whispered, teasing, “want to lay me down next to our slain enemies and have your wicked way with me?” He shuddered in response and suddenly you found yourself bouncing on the mattress where he’d thrown you. Dwalin grinned darkly down at you, the sight making you shiver. Slowly, he untied his breeches, kicking off his boots and drawing the fabric down his powerful legs. Your mouth watered, staring at the corded muscles and the very obvious picture of arousal he presented.

“You’re a wee minx,” he claimed, his accent notably thicker. It did funny things to your insides, listening to his voice that low and husky. “Like tha’, is it, my wee lassie,” he crooned, moving to hover just above you on the bed. “Give me your pleasure, lass,” he commanded. You nodded fervently, moaning lightly when you felt him press against you, hard and wanting. Curling your hands around strong shoulders, you pulled him down on top of you for another kiss, sighing deeply into his mouth. Dwalin pulled your unresisting leg up, hitching it over his hip as he pressed against you, drawing back and pressing forth again without actually going where you needed him. You growled.

“Dwalin!” you pouted, trying to move him with the leg wrapped around his hip. “Come to me,” you whispered, enjoying the sound of his deep moan in your ear.

“Give me your heart,” he said, but you just nodded at the demand. One of his arms was holding his weight slightly off you, giving him space to stare down at your face. You smiled wickedly.

“Give me yours,” you demanded in return, making him laugh. Your chuckle turned into a broken moan when he surged forwards, trapping you against the mattress with his bulk in the best way. Bucking up to meet his every thrust was bliss. You weren’t aware of the way you moaned his name, the way he cursed you for being so tight he was ready to lose it already. Instead, you simply claimed his mouth in a kiss of pure passion, scoring your nails down his back at a particularly pleasurable move. Dwalin groaned. You distantly realised that he liked a lick of pain and did it again. Dwalin shuddered above you, but regained his iron self-control with a smirk you didn’t see.

“You’re mine,” he growled, nipping at your ear.

“Yours,” you agreed, nodding breathlessly as his clever hands roamed your responsive flesh, “all yours, my Dwalin, oh, Maker, yes!” you screeched, thrashing beneath his touch. “Please, amrâlimê,” you begged, “my Dwalin…” the rest of your words were lost in bliss. Dwalin smirked, feeling you shatter around him.

“Mine!” he roared, finding his own completion.

[screamingtofu]

We haven’t gotten to play dnd since like late feb because of the whole world ending plague thing so I’ve been getting antsy. Had @thisfireflyandaphoenix give me a story prompt for Eridol about “happy memories” and I made a short drabble about Eridol learning healing magic from his mentor in cleric school

Bradul Crolmusr had done this so many times before, he could practically script the damn thing. He gets handed a fledgling cleric to help train and to nudge towards whichever part of the church could best use their skills, Most only lasting two seasons before they receive a vision from Tyr to help guide their devotion. But before all of that, they needed to be able to channel the divinity they were gifted with. Which is why he found himself on an otherwise lovely summer afternoon, continuing to sweat his arse off in a courtyard on the outskirts of the church proper with a shit heel of a gnome with sever anger problems for the second summer in a row.  “C’mon Eridol, how is it that you spend 10 years in the military but you can’t even follow the simplest of instructions? You need to focus on a positive memory to help shape the energy, from there you can learn what it feels like and then you can focus on the feeling rather than having to call a specific memory” The gnome’s concentration didn’t waver from the chant he was reciting, but frustration was beginning to mount, he’d been at this for months and the closest he’d gotten was making a cut temporarily stop bleeding. Bradul tapped the gnomes shoulder to stop and knelt down in front of him. “You know, I’ve been overseeing your training for too damn long now and while it’s definitely been interesting watching you bash your head against what many would consider the simplest part of divinity, you keep hitting this wall and hesitating before just stopping outright. I know you want to get past this, you are surprisingly awful at hiding your feelings” Bradul pauses, looking at the frustrated fledgling before continuing “What happened to you was terrible, but you need to be able to work through it and I’m running out of approved methods to try and get you there” He sighs and watches the gnome retreat slightly inside himself. Still present, but Bradul would need to choose his words carefully to not trigger another episode. Bradul took out his waterskin and offered it to his protégé before continuing, observing the gnome for the slightest change in body or mind “ … Did you know that there’s some in the church who don’t think you should be here? They think that how you were chosen was not entirely Tyrs will and that you’re here to secretly bring us down from the inside. Told them that was rubbish of course, if you were really some kind of secret agent you’d have definitely been better at actually infiltrating further into the church that this” and he playfully punched the gnome. “There’s no easy way to escape what you’ve been through and it’ll surely leave a mark on you far after that brand on your side heals, but you’re at a cross roads here lad and you’ve got 3 choices. Stay as you are, a bundle of survivors guilt unable to move on and eventually take your place as a glorified alter boy attending to the church. Fall down and let this consume you and end up back inside the bottle like before you came here or hold onto whatever threads of hope and goodness got you to this point in the first place in a death grip and use them to elevate yourself out of the shit you’ve found yourself in. I can help you find those threads but it’s up to you to choose to take them” Bradul got up and walked over to one of the crumbling walls to watch the trees sway lazily in a distant breeze, knowing Eridol would follow him. “I want to try something if you’ll let me Eridol, just to get you to where you need to go. But it’s probably for the best you don’t go telling anyone else in the church or we’ll both get our arses kicked” After a silent nod of understanding from the gnome, Bradul calls on his own tether of divinity, plucking and shaping it into the calming words of a prayer that wrapped around Eridol. Bradul saw the fear and guilt and all the negative emotions welling up inside his young companion temporarily evaporate. “I want you to close your eyes Eridol, close your eyes and think of the greatest joys you can from before we found each other. What is the first thing that comes to mind? Be it a smell, a sensation, whatever first anchors you to that memory” Bradul watches the anger and fear flare up momentarily in Eridol before being smothered by the spell currently holding it at bay. Eridol closes his eyes, half listening to the surly dwarf, half letting his memories play out. From the inky blackness of his mind he smells the ocean, calm and steady and always in the background, he feels the parchment and wood of his mothers workshop running under his small fingers, he hears her humming slightly as she works pretending to be unaware of the small gnomish child peering in from the doorway. He remembers all the times she would scoop him up and bring him over to her blueprints or a small model on the workbench, completely enthralled with the trinket as his mother explained each component, excitedly swinging him around the workshop, their joy eclipsing everything else in the moment. The memory fades and Eridol can feel … something. He has to concentrate to hear Bradul “You’re doing wonderfully lad, how about another. Something you would never let go of, something to seek out and protect” Eridol smells sweat, feels the mountain chill in his nose, hears the laughter of his squad mates. They were fresh off a mission and heading back to civilisation for the first time in months, he looked around the barracks, their Commanding Officer, Goladius sitting in the corner reading some god awful elven poetry aloud, it had been 3 hours of him waxing on about the hues of a flower in the feywild to the group as Argus worked on the stew bubbling on the fire. Eridols vision shifts to Farsik and Yol, already out of their armor and bundled together in a blanket, lazily listening to the poetry in the background. The bond between them so pure it hurt to look at. They deserved so much more time together than they received. Eridol felt something shift inside him, the faint traces of ozone lingering as the memory fades away and Eridol finds himself back in the void, two threads of light hanging lazily in front of him. Bradul’s voice distant and strained wafting in from darkness “One more boy, then you should be ready. Something private, something you would fight through hell itself to get back if it were taken from you” This memory comes at him fully formed, he had just snuck out to get some of his favourite cookies and had come back to see Sutha sitting comfortably in front of the fire,  eyes closed and hair lazily tied back, charcoal dust still smeared across her cheek from a recent “improvement” she had made to his blueprints and forgot to clean her fingers afterwards no doubt. A perfectly mundane moment that he’d come across hundreds of times before since they had gotten engaged but each still more beautiful than any that came before. He stood there for what felt like an eternity just letting the sight soak into him like sunshine before she spoke , trying to wipe away the coal smudges on her overalls “My doll, my sweet and second best designer in the room” the smile on his face quickly giving way to a playful frown as she continues  “… before you get angry it was only a small tweak. The slightest enchantment to help cut down on friction you wouldn’t even notice it” a smile breaking across both of their faces as Eridol desperately tried to look shocked and betrayed and failed miserably at it. He wandered over to the couch she was on and they spent the night cuddled together arguing over design work and eating cookies, content to just be around the other. To enter the room and see the others face light up even if they wouldn’t admit it. To know that they loved each other entirely and could happily spend the rest of their lives on that couch bickering and eating cookies. Eridol found himself outside the scene, watching his younger self and the love of his life as tears started to cloud his vision. The scene shrunk till it was just a pin prick of light in the darkness, hovering between the threads of his other memories and Eridol heard Bradul’s voice again, this time almost a whisper “All good examples boy, unending devotion and joy the lot of them. Focus on those memories, protect those last shreds of your core till your dying breath and make any who try to take them understand that this will not be an easy fight. Now open your eyes, you rabid little gremlin, it’s getting cold out here and my knees hurts.”

The gnome opens his eyes, whatever afternoon light he was expecting long passed as he looked at the dwarf in front of him take out a small dagger and run it across his palm. “Now, focus on those memories, the joy, the sorrow but most importantly the love … the devotion between two people and try the spell again” Eridol gripped onto the threads of sensation, the smells, the sights, the emotions as he begins reciting the prayer, his thread of divinity mingling with those already in his mind, changing into something pure. Love, protection, devotion to another, spurred by the words of the prayer the thread appears and begins enveloping the wound, it smells like lightning, the sensation of ozone lingering at the back of the throat makes Eridol slow and stop before inspecting his hand. Traces of divine light linger on what would have been a scar, wiped away like dust. Too shocked to move, Eridol just stares at his mentor who was failing to hide the growing smile under his ludicrous beard “Congratulations cleric, you just healed someone … etch this moment into your brain Eridol, call on these threads whenever you need to and protect them with your life” He got up stiffly and stretched a bit “Now come on, I suspect there’s no shortage of paladins willing to kick your arse in the mess hall and I’ve got an ongoing wager with a couple of the other priests on who’s going to win”

[nordic-language-love]

Language Learning Log 2021 - Week 22 (24.05 - 30.05)

Norwegian

Online lesson (45 minutes)

Read 190 pages of Harry Potter og Føniksordenen

Read 1x article

Wrote 4x journal entries

Wrote 118 words of fiction

Watched 3x Kveldsnytt broadcasts

Watched 2x Ragnarok episodes

1x Silje Thorstensen yoga video

Mysteriet om Nils ch 43 exercises

Japanese

Duolingo: Hobby 2 & Weather 1

JFZ ch 13 exercises 4-6

Wrote 3x journal entries

Read a short story

Listened to the radio

Norwegian

This week in my italki session my tutor started actively using more dialect and teaching me little bits :D I hope this becomes a regular thing! I desperately need to get better at understanding dialects.

I also finally finished Mysteriet om Nils. I can’t remember when I bought the first one - early 2019 maybe? I’ve gotta say, it’s definitely one of the best textbook series I’ve ever used. I do wish there was one for C1 level - maybe I should write to them and tell them to make one? :D Next up: finish Norwegian Tutor and then Enjoy Norwegian. Then I’ll need to find some new textbooks lol.

Speaking of finishing things, I finally finished Harry Potter og Føniksordenen too. Next up, I’d like to go back through and note down some vocabulary/phrases that I highlighted/actually attempt to learn them.

I started watching Ragnarok this week too. I’d heard of it before but never got round to watching it, and now there’s a second season I figured I should probably get on with it lol. No spoilers please! I’m watching it without subtitles and I understand most of it - I certainly understand all the main points - but there are times when I don’t catch everything or even where I have to rewind because I have no idea what someone said at all.

(Side note... I cannot think of Fjor as anyone other than Penetrator Chris. And are we supposed to believe Laurits is a teenager? He looks like he’s in 30s. I mean none of the actors look like teenagers but especially Laurits)

Last week’s goals

Read 150 pages of Harry Potter og Føniksordenen [190/150] ✅

Mysteriet om Nils ch 43 exercises ✅

Listen to a podcast ❌

Watch 3x TV shows or news broadcasts [5/3] ✅

This week’s goals

Finish Ragnarok season 1

Note down vocabulary from HPoF chapters 1-5

Pick up where I left off with Norwegian tutor

Write 500 words of fiction

Japanese

Another textbook finished! Although, there are still more things I can do to get the most out of it. I’d like to go back and make some grammar notes and note down some useful phrases that I skipped over a bit to get them firmly in my head, and I still have some of the lesson quizzes to do online. So that’s gonna be my June goal!

I finished another short story too. I think I’m gonna wait a bit longer before I read the next one. While I do learn a lot of new vocab and grammar, I feel like it’s a bit overwhelming, and I’d get more out of it if I knew a bit more already. Instead, I’ll focus on Duolingo and getting to grips with the grammar I’ve already learnt a bit more.

Last week’s goals

Duolingo: finish Hobby 2 skill ✅

Read a short story ✅

Write at least 1 handwritten and 1 typed journal entry [2/2] ✅

Finish JFZ ch 13 ✅

This week’s goals

Duolingo: finish Weather 1 skill

Listen to 3x Nihongo con Teppei podcasts

JFZ: identify chapters I need to go through again, rewatch grammar videos + make notes for at least 1 chapter

Write at least 1 handwritten and 1 typed journal entry

Other

Uhh sort of forgot about having other goals. Still, I did some training (most of it was half-arsed, but I feel sore today so I must’ve done something right, and half-arsed is better than nothing), and I got somewhere with my strength & conditioning course. I have no idea why I’m procrastinating the aerial hoop learning tasks. I literally have the video for the first task ready to go. The second task won’t be difficult. The third task is 2 mins choreography and I already have 90 seconds. The fourth I just need to add some notes. And yet somehow?? it’s the most difficult thing.

Last week’s goals

Strength & conditioning course unit 7c [9/22] ❌

Stretch on at least 4 days [3/4] ❌

Train pole/aerial hoop on at least 2 days [3/2] ✅

Submit 1x learning task for aerial hoop instructor course ❌

This week’s goals

Strength & conditioning course unit 7c

Stretch on at least 3 days

Train pole/aerial hoop on at least 2 days

Train flow arts on at least 3 days (+ maybe make a training plan)

[noiseartists]

Shoegaze, Dreampop And Nugaze: The Facebook Group

Shoegaze, Dreampop And Nugaze is a Facebook group created by Kevin Cleary. The group is arguably the biggest one on Facebook counting over 40 000 members. Noise Artists meets the moderators.

How long have you been and admin for this group?

Mark: I joined the group back in January 2019 and joined the admin team shortly after as a mod so i'm the new kid on the block.

Darren: For several years now. Too long to remember when it all started.

Kev: I created Shoegaze, Dreampop & Nugaze in 2009. My reasoning at the time was to find bands that kept the shoegaze candle burning (damn that sounds cheesy, lol). Acts such as Airiel, Ides of space, Resplandor, the Meeting Places, Astrobrite, Mystery Machine, etc.

Nico: I can’t remember, I got asked maybe a year and a half ago? What are the perks of being an admin?

Mark: Meeting all the cool bands and fans.

Darren: To be able give a platform for new bands to be heard and discovered by a new audience.

Kev: Over the years I've become a bit introverted, don't belong to a band and not hitting shows the way I once did (Dad life). The biggest perk is the music that I would never have discovered otherwise and the friendships that have developed. No gaze orgies, groupies, monetary benefit, drugs, etc. Maybe things would have been different if this was 1993, lol.

Nico: I guess, it’s like running a fanzine back in the days? it’s a lot of work for very little reward but you do it cause you like music more than anything else

What are the drawbacks of being and admin?

Mark: Dealing with disputes and arguments on the group. Why cant we all just get along people?

Darren: Having to moderate the troublemakers and haters.

Kev: "Why did you delete my Radiohead post?!Facist!!!!" It hasn't been all that easy and trust me, the page burns me out at times. Pet peeves include, getting tagged in a post bashing the group, reading a post from a FB friend, "sorry Kev, but the page....." A lot goes into running a page with over 45,000 members! Thank the Gods for the current (Darren, Mark & Nico) and past mods.

At some point we got in a war with WHIRR, which apparently wasn't the band but someone moderating their social media.

Oh shit, the whole Pranav Agrawal thing!

Where to even start with that one?! Pranav was a professional English swimmer, living in India with his boyfriend Matt. Yes. He was one of seven of us managing the page.

We were a tight bunch, often chatting several days a week. He was an integral part of the page, with great ideas and input. Things got weird when one of the mods forwarded a google image of a professional swimmer Daniel Goodfellow. Pranav had created this entire persona based on the swimmer! We called him out and poof, just like that, he was gone! Keyer Soze style.

Nico: Oh definitely the people with zero social skills and a lot of issues who are desperate for attention but know only how to seek it in negative ways. They clearly need to be educated but you can’t do that publicly because they want the attention so the only way to deal with them is to not give them any, delete, block, gone. Is there any perks? groupies? drugs? free music? 😉

Mark: The only "perk" i've had so far is some boudouir snaps of my fellow mod Nico Beatastic! I still havent slept since seeing them.

Darren: I occasionally get free music. People often reach out to me directly to share music that they feel I'll enjoy.

Kev: Ehhhh, not so much for a 46 year old married dad like me. The free music that group members send me! Ooooo, I listen to it all and totally appreciate it. Another perk is hearing or reading about the page in a positive light. Nico: the true perk is having Mark to send my boudoir pics to, I know he truly appreciates them.

What do you like best about the group?

Mark: The community spirit. The shoegaze community is incredibly tightknit and supportive.

Darren: Always being turned on to new music and forgotten treasures.

Kev: The music I've discovered and friendships that I've made over the last decade. Wow, talk about generic answers! There was a time when Darren, Rayanne, Greg, Romini, Liam, Pranav and I would drunk message for hours most every Friday/ Saturday. Mind you, we were all in different time zones. Those were fun times!

Nico: when shoegaze started it was called the scene that celebrates itself, people were supportive of each other, I think that’s mostly the case, also it’s never been about who’s got the biggest one (it’s Mark) , there’s no macho bullshit.

What do you like the least about the group?

Mark: The posts that begin, Its not shoegaze but.... or What is the most shoegaze <insert inanimate object here>. Wasn't funny the first time, not funny now. Stop it

Darren: Just because some music has elements of shoegaze or exists on its peripheral, doesn't make it shoegaze. It's hard to draw the line sometimes and that comes from someone who's been listening to this music for 30 years, let alone for people who are new to shoegaze.

Kev: Damn, if I let the cat out of the bag it will invite in hundreds of trolls! Like the teenage British invasion of 2015. Darren is the only mod who was around at that time and it SUCKED!! So my lips are sealed on this one.

Nico: the little wars, the negativity, the group is meant to post music you like, no diss music you hate. If you don’t have anything nice to say , don’t say anything.

If you could have anyone join the group, who would it be and why?

Mark: Kevin Shields of My Bloody Valentine for he is our lord and father. All hail the Kev!

Darren: Erik Blood. He's my favorite producer and has had a hand in recording/producing/creating/performing some of the best music from the Pacific Northwest for years.

Kev: We've had quite a few genre icons come and go throughout the years. Rachel and Emma were both members until they were called out in numerous posts. I was blown away when the lead of my favorite band joined several years ago!

Nico: I’d have my fave musician ever, Billy Corgan

Who should be an admin?

Mark: Elliott Frazer from Ringo Deathstarr as i inadvertantly removed him from the group. That would let him get his revenge on me.lol

Darren: Someone who loves music, music debate, and has an insatiable hunger to hear and discover new music.

Kev: Easy; Darren, Mark and Nico! Now i'm going to try and name everyone who has helped moderate the page over the years. Rayanne Die, Vic Winters, Dean Bromley, Steven Webb, Romini, Mike Contreras, Liam Doyle, Greg Wilson, Krissy Vanderwoude.

Nico: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Nick Cave, Henry Rollins. You can’t mess with them and they’re good with words. I’d love to have The Rock turn his boot sideways and stick it someone’s arse when they make a homophobic/racist/rude/mean comment.

Who should never be an admin?

Mark: Anyone who posts Its not shoegaze but.... or Whats the most shoegaze <insert inamimate object here>.

Darren: Someone who is thin-skinned.

Kev: Anyone not ready to put time into building and maintaining. I'm grateful that we have a great team running the page now and for all of the past admins.

Nico: I agree with Darren.

What is the sweetest thing you've seen happen in the group?

Mark: I seen a member post that they had just had a bad break up with their partner and was looking for tunes to cheer them up. The comments below that post were 100% supportive and full of some of the best music. It was testament to the family vibe we are proud to have on the group.

Darren: I've seen small unknown bands and musicians grow into being leaders of the scene that celebrates itself.

Kev: Krissy Vanderwoude and Andy Jossi collaborating! Two phenomenal musicians. I also love seeing obscure, unknown bands grow in part due to this group.

Nico: I think each time anyone posts a band they like, it’s an act of communion with the world , we share what we want so we can improve other people’s lives and that my friends is what life should be about.

Have any couple met on the group and got married and have children?

Mark: i have no idea. One of the other more learned admin may know.

Darren: If so, send me pics of them making babies.

Kev: I haven't received any wedding invites. Not to say that it hasn't happened. A group member did create a Shoegaze romantic connection group.

Nico: Mark and I are expecting ;)

What is the best band you've discovered through the group?

Mark: That’s not fair. There’s too many AMAZING bands ive discovered via this group. If you absolutely forced me to name one id have to go with The Stargazer Lilies. Occabot blew my tiny mind.

Darren: Flyying Colours

Kev: Oooooh, a "best band?" As far as my personal favorite, I'd have to say Echodrone. Dean "Shoegaze" Bromley, one of the original page members/ past admin, turned me onto them. There are SO many greats that I never would have heard of if it wasn't for SGDPNG!!!

Nico: that Russian shoegaze scene is pretty cool. Maybe Pinkshinyultrablast ?

How did it get so big? (the group Mark, the group!

Mark: We have an open door policy and we get a lot of people inviting friends. We also have a lot of members who are in bands. It means they can interact with our members directly which is a huge thing for fans.

Darren: People love shoegaze and want a place to share and learn more about it.

Kev: Be careful of what you wish for!! There were waves of growth starting with the MBV/ Slowdive/ Lush reunions. Then there was the whole "bro gaze" movement, not the happiest of times on the page.

Nico: The big 3 coming back , the old school gazers have older kids now so more time on their hands and the brogazers. I went to see Slowdive a couple of years ago and the audience was clearly 14 to 60, lots of kids. The Rachel look is quite iconic, it appeals to a lot of young women.

Have you ever thought of making tshirts? mugs? merch?

Mark: I’d love that. We did that in another group i admin. See what King Kev Cleary has to say. He's the boss!

Darren: I would love if one day we could release music by some of the bands that we discover in the group.

Kev: A few years back I created a website with the intent of doing just that. Never materialized. I remember what Greg Wilson, one time page mod, went through getting DKFM to where it is today. Don't have that sort of time to dedicate.

Nico: it’s all very doable, especially a compilation series, that would be fairly easy.

[poweredboredom]

Pokemon Sun

It’s good. You should play it. It’s a Pokemon main series game and they’ve been pretty decent with each new addition since coming to the 3DS. The boost in power and interest makes them pretty accessible, fuller versions of Pokemon Colosseum the series has always wanted to be. 3D fights, enjoyable mechanics and enough here that mixes things up to make Sun/Moon worth picking up. 

It’s accessible while still being a challenge. Wonderful! But how does it pull it off? Well...

The first thing that comes to mind is that Pokemon, as a series, seems to be desperately trying to grow a personality. In games gone by, things such as stories or characterisation or even dialogue was costly. If you put in a diatribe about man’s inhumanity to man and pokemon alike, you might have to cut out a boss encounter. Give villagers too much to say and you may have to replace an entire town with it as there wasn’t enough on the cartridge. Pokemon lasted as a pretty basic looking RPG for many a generation while stuff like Golden Sun or Megaman Battle Network looked gorgeous in comparison. That pokemon database takes up a lot of space! Modern flash cartridges seem to have an acre of room for all the 3D rendered models and the lush looking environments. It seems there’s room for storytime with Uncle Pokemon.

And you know he has an epic tale to tell! So grab an eevee and listen.

The story told is the one they’ve been telling for years now. Blah blah, you just arrived in town, blah blah, you’re a natural trainer, blah blah, go become a Pokemon Master. The difference is in the flavouring. Not-Hawaii location of the Alola Islands do offer a new lease on life for a tired plotline for your mute-ten year old to run through in the form of The Island Challenge. Instead of battles upon battles, sometimes you have to best a dungeon or photograph ghosts or find then defeat a powerful Totem pokemon. This is neat. While I don’t bemoan the older games too much for their reliance on the gym system, which made each a house where the boss lived while occasionally having a small fetch quest. Usually a fetch quest you need to do in order to face them at all! Here though, Challenge Captains and Kahunas interact with the world. They ingratiate themselves with the islands, which helps sell their supposed knowledge and skill naturally. Previously, Gym Leaders would have to have special quests and things to prove that they did more than just stand in a big house behind some elaborate set of traps.Challenge Captains and Kahunas are part of the community. They run shops or perform for tourists. They’re active in the world, meaning you’ll likely bump into them as you meander around. It works so much better to make them at least a little intimidating when you have to face them yourself.

Weirdly, not everyone gets rich off of unregulated betting on battles with random strangers. Which seems strange to think about but then again, it’s you, the rando wondering around aimlessly with money to burn, that they sell to.

The other thing about the story is that there’s more characters. Somewhat like Pokemon Black/White you begin the game meeting with your new friends. They’re what replaces the ‘Rival’ of older games as they’ll challenge you to battles regularly like a surprise pop quiz. Hau is the trainer that tries to stack himself against you and he’s not bad. He throws regular challenges at you while also being an all right character. I like him but I also feel like he floats around the story at large without any major impact. He’s appealing enough; a hopeful, enthusiastic son of a Kahuna that likes to stuff his face and battle. Fair enough. He doesn’t get in the way but also does make you want to punch him, unlike Blue or N. He, and almost all of the game, is overshadowed by the adventures of Lillie, however, Lillie is positioned as something of an anomaly within this world: someone that abstains from Pokemon Battles. I mean, you assume they’re out there somewhere but it does appear to bite her in the arse regularly. I get the motivation of not wanting to see Pokemon hurt but in a world where the wildlife can, and frequently does, attack at random, you’d think she’d figure out that battles likely arose out of a need to protect herself. She’s fine not to want to take part in battles but we’ve seen time and time again that people should have a pokemon for protection at all times! Oak wouldn’t stand for it, Burch presented a lovely example of why you’d need one and Lille of this game gets attacked by a Spearow flock that she is powerless to fight off or flee from.

Then take one of my pokemon and go get him then! I have running around in circles to do until my pokemon are all level 20! Vital, important work here!

In short, she’s kind of an idiot that can never go anywhere unaccompanied. On the plus side, I can report that she’s quite a sweet person. Her care for Pokemon and everyone around her is genuine, making her somewhat endearing. This marvel was created because Pokemon’s writing has improved considerably. For once, they’re attempting jokes and jabs at things. Hau is a doofus but it plays into his character. Lillie is selfless and that plays into her character too. Their defined, distinct and decently memorable. I wouldn’t call them stellar or fascinating but I didn’t mind meeting them.

This writing buff has permeated everything else, teamed with the 3D presentation to make a greater scope than I thought possible before. Pokemon Sun actually attempts to have ideas greater than ‘bad guys find sleeping monster and fail to control it’. I always found the attempted return of Team Rocket fascinating but Sun throws around the idea of Pokemon from other dimensions, Pokemon gangs, loyalty to family members and when you cross the line as a parent into being a child yourself.

I’m not joking. 

While I will not say that this entirely works, I will say that it’s pretty out there for what I was expecting but I am so onboard for more. There’s elements that seem neutered or maybe didn’t connect as it should because it’s all still textboxes on a screen but there were clearly places where I was supposed to care but honestly didn’t. 

The game is trying though. You can give it that much.

I can identity one major weakness with it’s story: it’s not mine, it’s Lillie’s. Lillie is the one that grows, goes through an arc and learns the magic of Pokemon Battles, if I might spoil that for just one moment. You are the silent protagonist that has a completely different story happening outside of the conflict between Lillie and the Ultra Beasts. Say what you like but older games placed you at the center of the story. You fought Team Rocket when you tangled with them and they declared you an enemy. You fought Team Aqua or Magma and put and end to their accidental damage to the weather they caused. You changed N’s mind and stopped Team Plasma. 

But it’s Lillie that has the final say that puts the bad guys in their place after she sicks you on them. Sun has two stories that meet up then part ways at regular intervals. Do some island challenges, then go fight some story-related goons, then back to the thing you care about because it’s your story. Lillie’s little journey is fine but it feels like something I have little investment in because I don’t get the benefit of advancing there, Lillie does. My reward is being allowed to go back to doing what I want to do; catch pokemon and win challenges. The game will handhold and corral you into their straight path regularly just so that Lille gets her time in the spotlight.

If you could play as Lillie or fight your way through her story, then that would be something. But otherwise, I’m just her powerful trainer friend that she asks to solve her problems for her. And I ain’t that attached to her. A big problem when I’m a character that has no personality at all outside of my clothes.

That deep, unwavering stare forwards as if paralysed in the brain and only capable of that mild, cheery smile. Enjoy that for most of the game.

I love Team Skull though. The jokes and their personality was wonderful. Loved them! Keep them around.

Gameplay wise, it’s mostly the same. There’s a long list of tweaks and changes from previous titles that matter but ultimately don’t bother me so let’s focus on the major changes.  The pokemon here are a good selection of old and new that draws on the Hawaiian tie to spirituality and it’s tropical climate. Ghost pokemon have a real spotlight in this place, making it likely they’ll appear in most teams this time around, even giving a welcome return to Phantump and Gastly, two pokemon I had to go find when I heard they were in the game. I like Toxepex, a poisonous anemone that can withstand a beating, and I like Sandigast, a possessed sandcastle that eats life energy. Yes, that’s a thing. 

There are also regional versions of old pokemon, mostly in an attempt to make them a touch more appealing. Mostly, they’ve given dark typing to Raticate, Grimer and Meowth. Which is fine to me. I got a lot of use out of the new Grimer as it’s second typing allowed for more varied and interesting tactics. Dark works decently with Poison, I reckon. The other two are fine but are now fatter in design than before.. 

Pokemon seems to be trying to make it’s new additions stand out more though. And their method this time round is to make their lives a little more miserable. There’s pokemon that feast on others, there’s pokemon said to possess horrid powers but the breakout star for me is Mimikyu. Not only is this pokemon a wonderful Physical Sweeper, it’s appearance is a point of self-awareness. It’s lonely and jealous of Pikachu’s popularity. As such, it wants some of that attention so dresses as Pikachu to garner some love. Aww...Makes me want to hug it till the horrible phantom inside claws my soul.

Who’s my little hellspawn? You are! You are! Who sweeped half the opponent’s team?! You did! Good widdle snookums!

You see? Pokemon is trying to grow a personality. Some of it works.

Gameplay is also trying to aid in this: Pokemon may now call for help. At first, this sounds fine. More pokemon to fight means bigger payouts and you can always throw out a second pokemon to even things up, right? No! If a pokemon does this, you’re now outnumbered two to one. You cannot capture anything while the other pokemon is present. You also have a high chance that if you defeat one of the pokemon, the remaining one will attempt to call for further backup. Some pokemon have a high likelihood of receive help, giving the impression of fighting a pack that’s happy to wait in line for it’s turn. A good mechanic in theory but it drags out fights that you don’t want if it happens. It seems to have been implemented to allow for a new way of finding pokemon (Toxepex can only be found through coming to another pokemon’s aid) and to help make the relatively compact islands feel like their encounters have just as much impact as previous games as patches of long grass are often small with a clear path you can use instead. You have to want to go looking for pokemon to find them, usually, rather than having to wade through long grass that had overgrown paths you needed to cross to get somewhere. 

If you can’t force more random encounters, then give them the chance to increase in magnitude instead. Doesn’t entirely work.

You must be the most popular Pokemon in the world if they’re still coming whenever you use ‘Call for Family’! Are you royalty or something?!

What I am in full favour for is Z-Moves. These are special moves that act as an alternative to a Mega Evolution. Personally, I think they’re superior. Yes, having a big, nasty pokemon that boosted it’s stats and became more powerful when you needed it is cathartic. However, it’s limited to select pokemon and does nothing but change the pokemon’s capabilities. Z-Moves can be applied to any pokemon and any ability. While some pokemon have unique Z-Moves, all pokemon are capable of using them.  The reason this kicks so much arse is obvious: more powerful move that’s based on the type of z-crystal you give and which move you decide to turn into a decisive finisher. Where this gets interesting is that it can apply to status moves too. Performing Z-Status moves often grants additional effects to the move, such as some moves doubling the effect it has on a pokemon’s stats. Heck, a Z-Move Splash increases that pokemon’s attack by three stages. Not insignificant. So, your choice is now a powerful slam or a tactical edge but you can only choose one per battle. I think this is a lovely idea that means that any pokemon can become worth something, rather than hoping they’ll be given a Mega Evolution.

I like a game that can hand you a new tool to fiddle with and flip what you knew on it’s head.

It helps that they’re all kind of bonkers.

Oh! And there’s this thing where you can pet and feed your pokemon jellybeans. It is adorable. I’m not fully aware of how it benefits you but it’s cute to pet a Genga then feed him his favourite bean to make hearts appear. Bonus points from me.

So, yeah. Get this. It’s a little more self-aware and ambitious than usual. Either they had a change in design team or they wanted to make Sun stand above it’s competition, which appears to just be Yokai-Watch right now. If you enjoy pokemon or you enjoy a relaxing and simple RPG, this is worth picking up. 

[lindseydianataylor-blog1]

Working With Animals

Print article Report Add New Remark Working With Animals - Need to help? Log in or Create Account to submit a comment. Safety Code: Change Picture Related searches: Working With Animals - Want to assist? Related Articles Working With Animals - Need to assist? Can Animals Help With Depression? Writer: Dr. Jennifer Baxt, DMFT With different individuals looking for their own technique to deal with some light depression they could experience from time to time, a couple of have give you some interesting ways in which they believe will brighten their temper. For some, music can help soothe the soul. Music is what many will flip to because it not only helps them to calm down and leave their worries behind for a while, it can assist them feel refreshed after they have listened to some good tunes. Publisher: nevsaynes Animal portrait painting is, not unlike human portraiture except that animals not often prefer to pose.Animal portrait painting is simply the same as human portraiture with the exception that animals hate to pose. Wow, that adjustments things doesn't it? I imply, the rascally rodent probably zapped his naughty arse to kingdom come but if your own home burns down due to it, it won't be so humorous then! Not to mention the gnawing of your structural beams and pillars can over time, pose an inexpensive risk to the integrity of your constructing as properly. Another annoying trick these animals have up their sleeves is staining your ceiling tiles with their excrement. Being that they're in essence dwelling right on the opposite side of your ceiling, any waste matter, liquid or in any other case, will observe the course of gravity. This typically leads to an extremely repugnant stain on the underside of your ceiling. Varied diseases these animals are recognized to carry pose one other important risk. Rabies, mange, and salmonella are just some of the nasty diseases these animals carry. Don't get within biting range of those animals with out safety, and if in doubt as to how one can handle these creatures, get professional help!

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As roosters usually are not necessary in egg production and often trigger a disturbance to the neighbours, most councils seem to ban roosters from the yard flock. If you reside in a more rural space together with your neighbours an extra distance than within the suburbs, a rooster could also be allowed if it is unlikely to cause a disturbance. In this instance, I might counsel that you just call your native council or have a look at their website to see if roosters are permitted. Some enable roosters as long as the neighbours do not complain in regards to the crowing. Many Councils also have specific rules about how close a chicken shed could be out of your neighbours fence. This really only applies for those who plan to build a hard and fast hen coop, in contrast with the more and more common mobile hen coops. These restrictions are actually in place to stop poorly maintained rooster coops becoming a problem with the odour wafting over to the neighbours. I had been up early cooking sausages in order that Gus and that i might breakfast in fashion relatively than pay £4 for a crap bacon butty. The sausages were put in a thermos flask, we had buns, ketchup, sizzling espresso for me and scorching chocolate for Gus. We arrived and unloaded after which had to move the automobile and trailer to a discipline designated for trade parking. We trudged back speaking concerning the implausible sausage butties we were going to devour washed down with our own dwelling made hot beverage of choice. We arrived again on the alpaca marquee salivating and in one in all our customary starvation frenzies. Angus sat down and eagerly awaited the promised feast. It was then that I realised that we had left all the meals in the boot of the automobile! With the judges briefing quick approaching we didn't have time to go back and get it.

From the earliest script stages, all subject area content, pictures, and music are intensely reviewed and selected for meeting acceptable grade degree, curriculum targets and requirements for our proprietary productions. The videos we distribute are also screened to meet our excessive requirements. Log in or Create Account to put up a remark. Publisher: Alli Lawrence There may be little question that technology has made its method into the classroom. New types of training technology have changed the way in which that students be taught and work together with one another within the classroom. The roles of teachers and administers have also benefited from schooling expertise. The next record details a number of tools that faculty directors might want to make sure are in their classrooms. Publisher: Gareth Hoyle It's a truth of life that almost each college at some time or different can be wanting space. Whether or not or not it's as a result of reorganisation of courses or as a consequence of building works on site, there's little question that at varied occasions, schools will discover themselves without the required educating area to ensure that their students learn properly. Confinement in holding locations needs to be minimal as you would be obliged to hunt steerage from a certifying agency regarding the time allotment for confining natural hen. Any sort of medication and antibiotics is unquestionably not allowed. Nevertheless, if the hen does get sick, you are required to have it treated with medication. You just don't need to promote it as an organic chicken anymore as a consequence. On the lookout for more tips about beginning a hen farm? Discover the whole lot you might want to know and the way easy it's to boost your own hen. Separate your self from the standard chicken owners and avoid expensive errors. Log in or Create Account to put up a comment. Publisher: Tom S Williams Making a rooster tractor is quite a bit easier when you might have a great set of rooster tractor designs for steerage. Most individuals out of sheer desperation find yourself purchasing prepared-made hen tractor which value anyplace between 500 to a thousand dollars and which require them to be assembled anyways.

[lucywoodwood-blog]

Valentines day

Lucy was sat in the office her brother had given her in one of his main building. She loved spending time there for a multitude of reasons. One it meant she was close at hand if needed, two she could help out with bits and bobs that she knew she wouldn't have been asked to help with, three it got her out of her home for a few hours, and finally number four. Number four was probably the one she liked the most. Her office had a view or a large well maintained garden with huge flower beds, and she couldn't wait till the warmer weather came so she could see what they were. Staring out onto the garden she got lost in her own little world, her mind wondering about the flowers that would son enough be adding colour to dullness outside.

She hadn't heard her door open, someone come in and then it being closed, but she was soon snapped out f her own little world as a familiar voice began to speak. "Roses are white, some are blood red...."

"If you finish this poem I'll hit you over the head" She quickly replied cutting the male off from his words. Hearing him begin to chuckle she spun her seat around to face his direction. "And what can I do for you today. I'm pretty sure you didn't just come here to show off your poetry skills?" Leaning her elbows on her desk top and resting her chin upon her hand, her eyes watched him as he leaned against the door frame with both of his hands behind his back.

"Actually I did just come here to show off my poetry skills after all you never know when you might need the aid of someone that can rhyme" Letting out another chuckle he pushed himself from where he was leaning and began to slowly step towards her desk. "Well that's a lie I did come here for another reason as well." Stopping in front of her desk he smiled down at her. "Your still fairly new over here so I doubt you've had any time yet to meet someone who is special enough for today so....." Pulling his hands around from behind his back he smiled as he held out towards her a beautiful multi coloured bouquet of flowers. "I thought I would get you a little something"

Watching him step closer to her desk she began to smile and waited for some corny comment to slip from his lips, but when nothing insulting or button pushing came from him and instead he produced the flowers she was a little shocked. Reaching forward to take the bouquet her eyes went from him to the many colours of the flowers he handed her. "Thank you that's very sweet of you" Raising them up towards her face to inhale the sweet scent they were giving off her smile grew a little. Turning her attention once more up to him she laid the flowers down on her desk temporarily.

"You know I was kind of hoping I might get a little something back for getting you them. Oh I don't know something along the lines of a kiss maybe?" He quickly said as her eyes moved back up to him. The twinkle in his eyes and the playful smirk that danced upon his lips seemed to be the norm for him when he was around her and he still wasn't quite sure why himself. Watching her move to speak he quickly continued. "I mean I was polite enough to stop trying to kiss you that first time we met once I learned who you were so you do kind of owe me on. Also I didn't get a Christmas kiss, or a New Year one from you so." Letting out a little chuckle he folded his arms and locked eyes while he waited for her to shout at him to get out of her office.

Shaking her head as he spoke and letting out a laugh she locked her gaze onto his. "You are either very desperate, very lonely, or addicted to kissing the way you keep going on about them" Leaning back in her chair she held his gaze, she could tell he was waiting for her to make some kind of a move. Normally she would have either just kicked him out or found some horrible job to send him on, but after being shocked by the sweet gesture of him getting her some flowers, despite him soon dropping back into his normal pain in the arse self, she thought maybe she should return the shock back. Leaning forward once more she pushed her chair back and stood up. "Ok. I'll make you a deal" She said as she slowly walked around to the front of her desk her gaze staying locked on his. "I'll give you a valentines kiss as a thank you for those beautiful flowers, and also to shut you up about kissing me. But in return you have to not darken my door way for at least two whole weeks. No popping by to torment me, no calls to see if the phones are still working, no nothing. Do we have a deal?"

Listening to her talk he turned his body so that he was constantly facing her as she moved around the front of her desk. As she stood in front of him offering him a deal he couldn't help but smirk at the fact she was actually caving into what he asked for. Leaning down slightly he kept his eyes locked on hers. "I don't know two weeks of no pestering you. What would I do with my day? Give me a minute to think about it" Standing back up straight he looked off to the side as if thinking, all the time trying hard not to laugh. Nodding his head slowly as if coming up with an answer he turned his attention back fully to her. "I will agree to the terms of your deal with the exception that if the king orders me to be near you in some way then I will be. So if he sends me to be your driver if your going somewhere, or to escort you to something, then your stuck with me. Deal?"

Watching him turn his head to think she shook her head ad bit her lip so not to make some comment about how if he wasn't going to say yes she would go sit back down. When he turned to look at her again she was half expecting him to lean down toward her but when he offered her a counter deal she began to laugh. "I think I can live with the fact that for the next two weeks, unless ordered by my brother to be around me, you stay away" Nodding her head slowly she looked up at him. She had forgotten just how tall he was, although it was rare they were ever stood side by side so the fact it had slipped her mind should be of no shock. "We have a deal" She said as she stepped into his personal space. Reaching her hand up towards him she rested it against the side of his neck and smiled as he began to lean down towards her. His lips moving ever closer to hers she stood up on her tiptoes and closed her eyes.

He couldn't believe that she had accepted his counter deal, but he wasn't going to lie to himself he was actually glad she had. Feeling her hand touch his flesh he unfold his arms from across his chest and slipped one around her waist as he leaned in to receive what he had asked for. His hand resting upon the small of her back he pulled her in a little closer as he felt her lips begin to brush against his, the initial though that he had moment before their lips connected of 'I hope her brothers don't kill me for this' totally vanishing from his mind.

Feeling his hand upon her back pull her in closer and hold her body against his she had to fight her instinct to slip the hand that was currently resting against the side of his neck to around behind it and to hold him closer to her in response to his move. Instead she broke the long soft kiss and smiled, her lips still slightly brushing against his as she whispered. "Thank you for the flowers that truly are beautiful and now that you've had your valentines kiss in return you're free to leave my office anytime now"

Letting out a little chuckle as he stayed exactly where he was he gazed into her eyes, his smirk changing into a genuine smile. "As you wish. But first" Leaning in closer he reluctantly moved his lips from against hers and placed them close to her ear and whispered softly. "Best kiss ever" Pulling back slowly he captured her hand in his, before she could pull it free from his neck, and placed a little peck on the palm of her hand all the time keeping his gaze upon her and giving her a little wink. Then removing his arm from around her he took a step back. "M'lady" He said bowing slightly. "If you need me anytime in the next two weeks just call and I will be straight here" With that he stood up turned and left.

As he whispered in her ear she could feel her face start to flush crimson as that was a complement she had never heard before and be it a fake one or a truth it didn't matter. Watching him as he pulled back and captured her head she let out a little laugh as he placed a peck on the palm of her hand then then bowed to her. Bowing her head towards him out of politeness in response to his words and actions she watched as he left the room and closed the door behind him. Sitting down on the edge of the desk directly behind her she simply stared at the door, her face still a slight crimson colour and the smile on her face a one she doubted would fade for quite awhile.