#heart starting to go
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old man in the sun 🥲




#cats of tumblr#catblr#he is ailing#CKD#heart starting to go#minor respiratory issues#arthritis#and the hyperthyroidism is no longer controlled by meds — i'm looking into the radioactive option but it may be time for palliative care#he lost another half pound while I was in Texas#so I'm just trying to give him sun and birdwatching time#and see when spending money is liable to improve his quality of life#and when it's time to start preparing to say goodbye#such a hard call#although at least since I got him when he was 11#I knew he might not have much time with me and in fact he's had more time than I expected
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not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]
#'your moon is here' things that make me explode like a supernova#UGHHHHHHH what if i was perpetually in your orbit. influencing the tides. protecting you from asteroids. and slowly drifting further away.#then you stopped moving and i was only pulse to your dead heart. orbiting you. right where ive been left. and so you started turning again.#ria.txt#personal#space opera au#(<- not about what you think is about)#hiiii this is gaining traction so glad we're all going insane :D your moon is here is SO fucked up. so good.#xkcd#randall munroe#space#moon#anyways xkcd comics are so good. entertaining witty and informative. check em out!#ok this is about false and ren from hermitcraft#falseren
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eastern european haunted emily axford pc, transfem daughter of libertarians ally beardsley pc, spot on pub representation grizzled old british lady siobhan thompson pc, nasty old gun guy zac oyama pc, posh boy brian murphy pc, famous explorer with a book series that really falls off lou wilson pc we're fucking eating this season my god
#the comment about old white women who don't know what suncream is and have only ever worked outside sent meeeee#is that just every person I've ever met growing up in rural england I think so#this was so fucking good I just smiled the whole way through I love them all so much#transfem pc time let's fucking gooo!!!!#there's nothing funnier to me than the fact that the gotch sons names get more normal as you go down the line#like the fact that they started at samwell and then there's hatwell and wealwell and we end with maxwell is so fucking funny#van using normans as an insult had me crying#the wildly impressive old woman married to just a guy and they have a pub and are like completely infatuated with each other is perfect#and very accurate#the fucking gentrified pub idk why I'm only thinking about the gentrified pub in all of this but it's so real#also everyone slagging off lou's book series before he even gets to introduce his character screaming#I'm literally obsessed with all of them#cloudward ho!#cloudward ho#dimension 20 cloudward ho#dimension 20 cloudward ho!#d20#dimension 20#marya junková#van chapman#olethra macleod#daisuke bucklesby#montgomery lamontgomery#maxwell gotch#the names are fucking banging as well omg#love steampunk with all my heart
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98 lovemail doodles >_<
#trigun#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#nicholas d wolfwood#i was able to convince my friend to start 98 after we got back from AX HAHA and so i wanted to doodle the gang again ^_^#it's so funny how i always draw trimax ww super grumpy but then my 98ww is always such a goofy goober BAHAHA#trimax ww is still pookie to me tho dont get it twisted!!! ^_^#but yeah it's fun to decide how i want to differentiate between the different versions of ww#also i love 98 meryl so much she is so let me speak to the manager core (heart eyes)#and the color palette for vash i referenced from the lost july episode bc I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH THE COLORS IN THE PLANT STATION SCENES#idk what it is abt it but it tickles my brain. so pretty T__T#man im fr that type of artist who is posting different versions of the same drawings on different platforms LOL#but yall on tumblr and ig get it better imo hehe. when i post on twitter im like fucket whatever#i usually dont post on tumblr/ig until a day or two later so by then i make a couple of changes/finish stuff/color stuff#so here u go enjoy the colored versions of these doodles HAHA
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#putting this here in case anyone decides to go looking for more info about my particular guy here#1) soccer player 2) gay 3) started for italy met and got engaged to his future husband while there and adopted a girl#4) ends up spending the rest of his life in germany bc he got traded but he WAS able to get gay married there#because it's legal in germany and not italy. ENGAGED FOR LIKE 15 YEARS BTW!!!!!#5) husband dies at 110 and then my guy dies 7 years later also at the age of 110#6) I don't want to start a new life in the game because I played as him for hours and don't have the heart to wipe the slate clean#yusuf yacob you will always be famous. to me. sorry for making your penis injury gain interest#and sorry your mother died after being charged by a hippo
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Woe, Nightgoober be upon ye
#kurt wagner#nightcrawler#x men nightcrawler#x men#marvel#marvel comics#solacespades art#yeah okay so I made another goober#because I’m starting to get into the x men and Kurt specifically has my whole heart#this fucking guy my beloved#he is creature#I love him#at this rate I might just start a series where I continue to gooberfy the sillies#if I did matt would his glasses be gigantic or miniscule who knows#anyway#maybe I’ll make a Logan to go along with Kurt eventually#be the sillies together#once again by the way everyone feel free to use him as a discord emoji
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This side by side makes me cry. Those are the exact same eyes. Despite everything it's still you :(
#look how big and innocent his babydoll eyes used to be. look how big and vulnerable they still are years later#remember how joker thought about kid akechi and instantly started sobbing in the OVA? yeah hes real for that#i promise i'll stop yapping about that engine room sprite one day but i cant help it. it makes me so sad bro#change of heart is not enough i need to go Sinfull Shell on Shido and Yaldobaoth's asses#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#my post#goro akechi#shuake#p5r akechi
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God, the little-kid panic-excitement of Van going “I’m gonna call my mom!” This woman we KNOW isn’t a present or really functional parent, but Van’s impulse is still to reach for her. Van, who has nearly died so many times, who is faced with a piece of tech that is designed to save her life. Who finds it broken. Who finds it just out of reach. You can keep going, but we’re gonna keep pulling that football before you can kick it. You must keep going, but the flames will just keep licking your heels. Of course she grows up fixing old tech. Of course she does. Of course she still dreams of flames. Of course she does.
#yellowjackets#yj spoilers#van palmer#Van palmer my most beloved character of all TIME#Jesus Christ even just the ‘we get to go home’ from the very start#of course it’s van#and the delivery is so soft and hopeful and full of need#it broke my goddamn heart
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with that said there are characters that a fat maybe not canonically but they are spiritually. to me. they may not be drawn that way but i know whats true. ive seen it like a sort of prophet
#serizawa. send post#he did NOT live his life as a shut in for almost a whole decade to be drawn SKINNY! not by me at least#also like so many characters over the age of 30. no more fit moms and dads GIVE them that divorce body fat NOW!#*strikes you down with the force of god*#but honestly alternative for serizawa that ive always liked is that he gains weight when he starts working for reigen#because he can now go out and eat new foods :D he has actually gained an appetite because he's moving around more#and isnt just eating like instant ramen or whatever his mom brings him#see how easy it is you can just believe it with your heart. you just have to find the ways to make true waht u know#scratchpost#txt
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#AND WE WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT BLOODSHED CRIMSON CLOVER !! THE WORST WAS OVER!!! MY HAND WAS THE ONE YOU REACHED FOR!!!!#sskk and the great war….if you even care#listening to crying and sskk on the t swift playlist#like do you ever sit and think about all the times aku reached out to save atsushi before even admitting that it wasn’t hate#before realizing he was his heart#and when atsushi started reaching back?!#yeah#bsd#bungo stray dogs#sskk#shin soukoku
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ppl in love r so annoying smh
#jk i love them sm😔#late but i just started thamepo!!#i feel the need to redraw this ending a little before going to ep5#i can't believe im into idol genre i've never been a fan of😭#thanks to williamest ig#they really got me hooked fr 4 eps felt so fast#also hello again!! and happy new year!!#hope i can be back here again🥰#thamepo the series#thamepo heart that skips a beat#williamest#thamepo#thamepo fanart#thai series#my art#artists on tumblr#nandskarth
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please never go away
#enstars#ensemble stars#valkyrie enstars#mika kagehira#shu itsuki#shumika#erhm...........if you want me to explain this i feel like i would be the gif of the girl going “eto...bleh” lmao#it all started because of a video of moments of shu growling in songs and then i l read the lyrics for amor vincit omnia#i also feel like it doesn't make sense but i think that's the beauty of putting this in mika's perspective#cause i feel like he wouldn't be able to convey his love to shu the way shu would to him#i feel like he would just go 'oshi-san can i eat your heart?' cause that's where shu's love is stored in and that's the faster way to it#anyway i can't wait for my valkyrie trip album to come#art tag
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i NEED to talk about the fact that Aditi canonically taught Jesper how to shoot (Crooked Kingdom page 257: “And she taught him how to shoot. First with a child’s pellet gun that was little more than a toy, then with pistols and rifle.”)
but Aditi died when Jesper was SEVEN. and he was presumably already pretty damn good if he was advancing from toys to real guns and learning how to use different types. which means that Aditi Hili looked her FIVE YEAR OLD SON dead in the eye and thought “yeah i should hand this hyperactive child a gun and teach him how to shoot it” that is fucking insane
#do you think colm knew#or did she tell jesper to keep it a secret and it wasnt until after she died that he found out#like do you think he just walked home to find his eight year old shooting cans off a fence and had a heart attack#lowkey colm probably started going grey as soon as jesper leanred how to crawl#jesper fahey#aditi hilli#six of crows#crooked kingdom#shadow and bone tv
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Protective Instincts
Hmmmmmmmmm
Idea.
So we all mostly headcanon that Jason was around tiny Damian when in the League right? And if we do demon!twins or siblings Danny they meet too?
Well what if, now hear me out, what if while taking care of them Jason notices early on how Danyal, or as he likes to be called Danny, doesn't seem to have the heart to be an assassin compared to Damian. And even under the pits influence and the LOA teachings, Jason's protective instincts of protecting kids is still strong. And notices how... lack the protection around Danny is compared to Damian, the true heir.
What if, when Jason leaves the League to start his revenge against Bruce, he fakes Danny's death by killing off the little 'guards' he did have and takes the kid with him.
But as he goes to Gotham Jason has to decide.
Drop the kid off in a good family, give him a new identity and keep him hidden or keep the kid and raise them?
#danny phantom#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny fenton#crossover#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Jason while in LOA notices Danyal al Ghul doesnt put his heart in being an assassin#knows eventually Ra's will see it as a weakness and would get rid of Danyal#and Jason who still wants to protect kids decide to 'spirit' him away#Jason fakes Danny's death#does Talia know the truth? maybe. maybe good mom Talia#Damian doesnt know the truth#is he happy his 'competition' is gone? maybe? or upset his baby brother is gone?#idk leaving that open ended#does Jason drop Danny somewhere to get adopted?#or does he keep him and raise him in the shadows of Gotham?#either one works#if we go with him being raised. i can see it being a reincarnated Danny#if not kept I can see Danny being adopted by the Fentons thus starting the Phantom timeline
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Being with you is what I do for myself. THAMEPO HEART THAT SKIPS A BEAT (2024-2025)
#thamepo#thamepo the series#thamepo heart that skips a beat#heart that skips a beat#thamepoedit#asianlgbtqdramas#williamest#estwilliam#william jakrapatr#est supha#mygifs#i can't believe it's over 😭#i'm going to make a thousand gifsets but i had to start with this one#genuinely was not expecting their kiss scenes to be this good#or for their first kiss to go that hard lmao#also...is thame's eyes always being open a director's choice or is that just william 👀
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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