#hewd in hands

[snobwhimsicalityy]

hello ch at

[mallo-person]

Okay this is the 2nd time some random middle schooler with ADHD has became friends with me on the bus with no input on my end, what the fuck??

[asmodeusamaryllis]

The previews for the mafia chapter is insane

[skelavender]

sometimes i forget to pay attention when i’m making a queue of songs for a drive and then i end up watching my intestines slowly slide from my stomach to the floor from listening to ptolemaea by ethel cain and two seconds later i’m bopping to good luck babe by chappell roan and scream singing the bridge without a care in the world

[toast-in-a-cowboy-hat]

I steadied my pistow, bwought it as cwose as I c-couwd to the *boops your nose* back of Edgaw’s head without touching it, hewd >w< my bweath, and squeezed the twiggew. Thewe was a woud pop and Edgaw swumped against the window he had been pressed against, *huggles tightly* dead ^w^ instantwy. T-The buwwet exited >w< and stwuck the window, cwacking it but nyot shattewing it. Bwood dwipped d-d-down Edgaw’s face and into the seat ;;w;; undew him. I sat the gun in the centew consowe, puwwed out my phonye, and called H. My hands wewe shaking. I had actuawwy donye it. I hadn’t been suwe that I had it in me, but I actuawwy *screams* did it. *runs away*

[drdtdreams]

i had a dream that levi got a figure. The sprite that got figure-fied was the one where his hand is on his hewd and his other hwnd on his hip

in the same dream david got a nendoroid😭😭

.

[kira-mg]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Wat da heck did u just hecking say about me, u wittwe meanie? me'ww have u know me gwaduated top of my cwass in da navy seaws, and me've been invowved in numewous secwet waids on aw-quaeda, and me have ovew 300 confiwmed kiwws. Me am twained in gowiwwa wawfawe and am da top snipew in da entiwe us awmed fowces. U awe nothing to me but just anothew tawget. Me wiww wipe u da heck out with pwecision da wikes of which has nevew been seen befowe on dis eawth, mawk my hecking wowds. U fink u can get away with saying that heckers to me ovew da intewnet? fink again, fuckew. As we speak me am contacting my secwet netwowk of spies acwoss da usa and youw ip ish being twaced wight now so u bettew pwepawe fow da stowm, maggot. Da stowm that wipes out da pathetic wittwe thing u caww youw wife. U'we hecking dead, kid. Me can be anywhewe, anytime, and me can kiww u in ovew seven hundwed ways, and dats just with my bawe hands. Not onwy am me extensivewy twained in unawmed combat, but me have access to da entiwe awsenaw of da united states mawine cowps and me wiww use it to its fuww extent to wipe youw misewabwe ass off da face of da continent, u wittwe heckers. If onwy u couwd have known wat unhowy wetwibution youw wittwe "cwevew" comment was about to bwing down upon u, maybe u wouwd have hewd youw hecking tongue. But u couwdn't, u didn't, and now u'we paying da pwice, u goddamn idiot. Me wiww heckers fuwy aww ovew u and u wiww dwown in it. U'we hecking dead, kiddo.

[psn-stalling]

hydreigon mail!!

the hydreigon returns the cursed cat statuette to you. attached to it is a sticky note! the note reads:

“i think thiws wouwd be in bettew hands if uwu hewd onto iwt. cheews!

-the dwaystew”

- :3

... NONONO YOUWU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME.

BUWWY. YOUWU'RE BUWWYING ME. WUDE. MEAN. WHAT DID I EVEW DO TO YOUWU DWAGON BOY???

[yumemiyas-wips]

I use Reddit. I present to you:

The navy SEALS copypasta in OwOda speak.

You just fucking say about me what the fuck did, you wittwe bitch? Gwaduated top of my cwass in the navy seaws I have, and invowved in numewous secwet waids on Aw-Qaeda I've been, ovew 300 confiwmed kiwws and I have. Twained in gowiwwa wawfawe and the top snipew in the entiwe us awmed fowces I am. Hing to me but just anothew tawget you awe not. Nevew been seen befowe on this eawth. Wipe you the fuck out with pwecision the wikes of which has, I wiww, mawk my fucking wowds. You can get away with saying that shit to me ovew the intewnet you think? Again think, fuckew. Contacting my secwet netwowk of spies acwoss the USA I am, and being twaced wight now youw IP is. So pwepawe fow the stowm as we speak, you bettew ,maggot. Youw wife the stowm that wipes out the pathetic wittwe thing you caww. Fucking dead, you awe, kid. Anywhewe I can be, anytime, and kiww you in ovew seven hundwed ways, I can , and with my bawe hands ,that's just . Extensivewy twained in unawmed combat not onwy I I am, access to the entiwe awsenaw of the united states mawine cowps, I awso have, and I use it to its fuww extent to wipe youw misewabwe ass off the face of the continent, I wiww, you wittwe shit. Known what unhowy wetwibution youw wittwe "cwevew" comment was about to bwing down upon you if onwy you couwd have. Hewd youw fucking tongue maybe you wouwd have. But you couwdn't, you didn't, the pwice and now you'we paying, you goddamn idiot. shit fuwy aww ovew you, I wiww and dwown in it, you wiww. Fucking dead, you awe kiddo.

"He would not fucking say that" does not apply to Yoda. You could write the most batshit sentence and I could see him saying it if only to fuck with someone

Now. "He would not fucking say that seriously" does apply here

[argleblarg]

(31) if anyone dies howding of any escheat such as the honouw of wawwingfowd, bouwogne, nottingham, wancastew ow of othew escheats which awe in ouw hands awnd which awe bawonies, hiws heiw iws nowt tuwu give any othew wewief ow wendew any othew sewvice tuwu us thawt wouwd nowt have bewn wendewed tuwu the bawon if the bawony wewe stiww hewd by a bawon, awnd we shaww howd such things in the same way as the bawon hewd thewm, now, own account of such a bawony ow escheat, awe we tuwu have the escheat ow custody of any of ouw men unwess the man who hewd the bawony ow the escheat hewd ewsewhewe fwom us in chief. (32) no fwee man iws hencefowth tuwu give ow seww any mowe of hiws wand tuwu anyone, unwess the wesidue of hiws wand iws sufficient tuwu wendew due sewvice tuwu the wowd of the fee as pewtains tuwu thawt fee. (33) aww patwons of abbeys which have chawtews of the kings of engwand ovew advowson ow ancient tenuwe ow possession awe tuwu have the custody of such abbeys whewn they faww vacant juwst as they ought tuwu have awnd as iws decwawed above. (34) no-one iws tuwu be taken ow impwisoned own the appeaw of woman fow the death of anyone save fow the death of thawt woman’s husband. (35) no county couwt iws tuwu be hewd save fwom month tuwu month, awnd whewe the gweatew tewm used tuwu be hewd, so wiww iwt be in futuwe, now wiww any shewiff ow hiws baiwiff make hiws touwn thwough the hundwed save fow twice a yeaw awnd onwy in the pwace thawt iws due awnd customawy, namewy once aftew eastew awnd again aftew michaewmas, awnd the view of fwankpwedge iws tuwu be taken at the michaewmas tewm without exception, in such a way thawt evewy man iws tuwu have hiws wibewties which he had ow used tuwu have in the time of king h(enwy ii) my gwandfathew ow which he has acquiwed since. The view of fwankpwedge iws tuwu be taken so thawt ouw peace be hewd awnd so thawt the tithing iws tuwu be hewd entiwe as iwt used tuwu be, awnd so thawt the shewiff does nowt seek exceptions but wemains content with thawt which the shewiff used tuwu have in taking the view in the time of king h(enwy) ouw gwandfathew.

[fleshst4r]

I bring to you all, a copypasta I found through a fanfiction;

What the nya did chu just fucking say about me, chu wittwe bitch?? i’ww have chu know i gwaduated top of mwy cwass in the navy seaws, and i’ve been invowved in numewous secwet waids on aw-quaeda, and i have ovew 300 confiwmed kiwws. i am twained in gowiwwa wawfawe and i’m the top snipew in the entiwe us awmed fowces. Chu awe nothing to me but just anothew tawget. I wiww wipe chu the nya out with pwecision the wikes of which has nevew been seen befowe on dis eawth, mwawk mwy fucking wowds. chu fink chu can get away with saying dat shit to me ovew the intewnet?? fink again, fuckew. As we speak i am contacting mwy secwet netwowk of spies acwoss the usa and youw ip is being twaced wight now so chu bettew pwepawe fow the stowm, mwaggot. The stowm dat wipes out the pathetic wittwe thing chu caww youw wife. You’we fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhewe, anytime, and i can kiww chu in ovew seven hundwed ways, and that’s just with mwy bawe hands. not onwy am i extensivewy twained in unawmed combat, but i have access to the entiwe awsenaw of the united states mwawine cowps and i wiww use it to its fuww extent to wipe youw mwisewabwe ass off the face of the continent, chu wittwe shit. If onwy chu couwd have known what unhowy wetwibution youw wittwe “cwevew” comment was about to bwing down upon chu, mwaybe chu wouwd have hewd youw fucking tongue. but chu couwdn’t, chu didn’t, and now you’we paying the pwice, chu goddamn idiot. I wiww shit fuwy aww ovew chu and chu wiww dwown in it. you’we fucking dead, kiddo.

[nep-moved]

Iothric,, what if we kissed 👉👈

[saltpepdoomedtoxicyuri]

I'm gonna dump a bunch of copy pastas I have now teehee

FUCK YOU NIMBASA CITY! if you're dumb enough to take public transit this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to the Battle Subway. Joltiks! Pokemon that use Earthquake! No Legendaries! If you think you can win 20 battles at the Battle Subway, you can kiss my ass! It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker, that you'll battle for this bullshit GUARANTEED! If you find a better Battle Facility, shove it up your ugly ass! you heard us right, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS! Bring your team, bring your starter, bring your IV trained Pokemon, WE'LL WIN THEM ALL. That's right, we'll win ALL OF THEM! Because at the Battle Subway, you're fucked six ways from Sunday. Take a hike, to the Battle Subway: home of MULTI TRAINS - that's right - MULTI TRAINS. How does it work? If you can win 20 battles in a row, and not fuck up, you get to fist-fight us! Don't wait! Don't delay! DON'T FUCK WITH US, or we'll rip your Pokeballs off. Only at the Battle Subway: the only Battle Facility that tells you to FUCK OFF! HURRY UP ASSHOLE! This subway train leaves the minute after you board it, and you better not lose once, or you're a dead motherfucker. GO TO HELL! Nimbasa City’s Battle Subway. From the most filthy and exclusive the meanest sons-of-bitches in the region of Unova- GUARANTEED!

What the nya did chu just fucking say about me, chu wittwe bitch?? i’ww have chu know i gwaduated top of mwy cwass in the navy seaws, and i’ve been invowved in numewous secwet waids on aw-quaeda, and i have ovew 300 confiwmed kiwws. i am twained in gowiwwa wawfawe and i’m the top snipew in the entiwe us awmed fowces. Chu awe nothing to me but just anothew tawget. I wiww wipe chu the nya out with pwecision the wikes of which has nevew been seen befowe on dis eawth, mwawk mwy fucking wowds. chu fink chu can get away with saying dat shit to me ovew the intewnet?? fink again, fuckew. As we speak i am contacting mwy secwet netwowk of spies acwoss the usa and youw ip is being twaced wight now so chu bettew pwepawe fow the stowm, mwaggot. The stowm dat wipes out the pathetic wittwe thing chu caww youw wife. You’we fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhewe, anytime, and i can kiww chu in ovew seven hundwed ways, and that’s just with mwy bawe hands. not onwy am i extensivewy twained in unawmed combat, but i have access to the entiwe awsenaw of the united states mwawine cowps and i wiww use it to its fuww extent to wipe youw mwisewabwe ass off the face of the continent, chu wittwe shit. If onwy chu couwd have known what unhowy wetwibution youw wittwe “cwevew” comment was about to bwing down upon chu, mwaybe chu wouwd have hewd youw fucking tongue. but chu couwdn’t, chu didn’t, and now you’we paying the pwice, chu goddamn idiot. I wiww shit fuwy aww ovew chu and chu wiww dwown in it. you’we fucking dead, kiddo.

You sent me a message first, yeah. I live in Smethwick Birmingham if you want to FUCKING brawl. COME down, Smethwick, ask for Danny G, I'LL COME OUT MY HOUSE, AND I'LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS! YOU LITTLE PRICK! HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING?! HEAR WHAT I'M, FUCKING SAYING?! COME BIRMINGHAM AND I WILL FUCK YOU UP, COME BIRMINGHAM NOW, AND I WILL FUCK YOU UP! I TOLD YOU WHERE I LIVE, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE I LIVE?! I LIVE IN FUCKING SMETHWICK, NOW COME, AND I'LL KILL YAH. What's my problem? What's my problem? You, is my fucking problem. Shut your fucking mouth I'LL FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE AND I WILL COME AND FUCK YOU UP IN YOUR OWN HOUSE. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM GEEZER, I AM A FUCKING MONSTER. DON'T FUCK ME ABOUT AND I'LL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND I WILL FUCK YOU UP IN YOUR OWN HOUSE. I TOLD YOU WHERE I LIVE. COME TO MY HOUSE, SMETHWICK, COME TO MY HOUSE AND WE'LL SEE WHO KNOCKS WHO OUT MATE I'LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE. SERIOUSLY MATE I'LL BREAK YOUR FACE, I WILL BREAK YOU OPEN, I SWEAR TO GOD YOU LITTLE PRICK. YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE 17 YOU LITTLE KNOBHEAD. I'VE GOT FUCKING KIDS OLDER THAN YOU MAN, I GOT KIDS THAT WILL FUCK YOU UP YOU DICKHEAD.

so bECAUSE OF DREAMS FACE REVEAL I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM SO NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID DREAM AND ONE OF THE COPS EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID “HE FACE REVEALED??!?” AND THEN HE WATCHED THE VIDEO ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN POLICE MAN SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY CRYING AND CURSING AT DREAMUPDATES UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD

at least trent is gay. its like i always say. at least trent is gay. at the end of the day. trent is gay. dont cry ok? trent is gay. at the end of the day. trent is gay. whn all else fails. trent is gay. we'll always have. trent is gay

SATAN is👹⚔️ workin overtime 💪💪to make a new level of hell 🪚⚒🪚cause 🎉🎉💀HENRY PISSinger☠️ has FINALLY FUCKIN DIED🪦🪦🎉🎉!! u may know this proPIGandist🐽🐽 by his greatest hits: BOMBINGS 💣, GENOCIDES 👎😡😢, MILITARY💂 COUPS💥,  and other 🚔🚔CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY🏴‍☠️!! but DID U KNOW 🧠❓he was also someone hillary clinton 👵🏻 considered a close personal friend😘👯‍♀️🆒!! he devoted his life to DICKlaring 🍆🍆war 🚫AGAINST 🚫 the CUMMIES💦💂💦 and other unCUNTstitutional 🍑🦪🦪🍑things and ppl called him a hero🤔🤷😡👎‼️⁉️ today we pour one out 🍻🥂🍾 for one of the WORST PEOPLE🤢👿🤢 to ever do it‼️ so SPREAD ↔️THOSE LEGS 💃💃 like ur the freedom 🗽🗽of infWHOREmation 📚📜📚act && send this to 2️⃣1️⃣ people u want to give u their TRICKY DICK 👁👅👁. GET5️⃣ BACK, you’ll give someone a déTENTe ⛺️🪵 IN THEIR PANTS get 🔟 back and you’ll be getting realpoliDICKED 🤤🤤🍆🍆DOWN with that MISSILE TREATY😏🚀🚀😏 tonight‼️

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏

Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏?

For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME.

Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

[pedal-mail]

Thinkin about,,,,Martin,,,,,,,,

[bandydear]

me, writing HDM fic: Found Family to Enemies to Family, Mother-Daughter relationship, slow burn, mutual pining, bed sharing, blatant disregard for the geneva convention

[angelguk]

huh. so does this mean bb!joon is 6’ because 👀👀👀 understandable that bb!oc literally did NOT give a fuck if anyone caught her giving him head in that movie theater n then proceeded to propose to the guy after 😭

i wasn't aware of joons height when i was writing bb but yeah he is if u imagine him that way! i mean, joon 6'3 in my heart i will not lie. bb!oc also feel for his dimples....them shits cute as hell