#hha without context

[hethuisanubiss]

Het Huis Anubis without context part 5

[in-love-with-the-snake-sannin]

I imagine that if Orochimaru were to have a child —an infant— he would meticulously document and catalogue every sound and expression. For once he would write data down not with the desire to study and control, but out of fear of forgetting.

🤍💜🖤

It happened during a change of arms. Orochimaru had just taken the baby from her, hands practiced now, movement slow and steady. He was murmuring something—nonsense, really. Not language. Just rhythm.

And then—

The baby responded with a little soft noise. It was barely a vowel —a small sigh that curled up at the edges like a question and a laugh all at once.

Orochimaru stopped breathing. He looked down at the child in his arms and asked, barely above a whisper and more rhetorical than anything else: “Was that…intentional?”

The baby hiccuped once, then sighed again. It was a sound full of nothing but life.

Later, when the child had fallen asleep in her arms, Orochimaru sat by the lamplight with a scroll in front of him —clean, unmarked and unsealed. This wasn’t for research. It was for memory. He didn’t label it as an experiment. He didn’t include chakra readings or sterile clinical data. He simply wrote:

Entry One: Vocalization.

Time: 1312, mid-afternoon walk

Sound: “ahhh” (open vowel, lifted end)

Pitch: soft, sustained

Emotional context: calm; possibly curious

Response from subject: blinking, stilling, then repeated sigh

Personal note: My name has been screamed, whispered, cursed. This is the first time I’ve heard a sound that didn’t want anything from me.

__________

Entry Two: Vocalization, half-laugh

Time: 1946, evening feeding

Sound: “hha—ah” (gasp-chirp rhythm)

Pitch: short burst, caught breath

Expression: mouth curled briefly, not yet smiling, brows lifted

Context: ticklish response to cloth near neck

Note: Involuntary joy is a fascinating contradiction. It has no purpose. And yet it changes everything it touches.

__________

Entry Three: Quizzical, unsettled expression

Time: 0713, post morning feeding

Expression: one eye squinted, lower lip pulled forward, slight chin tremble

Response trigger: sunlight filtering in at angle

Note: Not discomfort. Just adjustment. The world, newly perceived, is not always welcomed—but it is not feared. I was wrong to believe fear is innate.

__________

The first smile wasn’t loud. It wasn’t even fully formed.

The baby lay between them on the bed, one hand curled around her finger, the other twitching like a dream was running through it. Orochimaru reached over, brushing a fingertip along the baby’s brow, and said something so low he didn’t even realize it was audible: “I’ve seen thousands of expressions. Most of them meant nothing...”

And then, like it had heard him, the infant smiled. Not gas. Not a reflex. It was a fleeting thing — uneven, only one corner of the mouth curving slightly — but unmistakably real.

He froze, and for a long moment he said nothing. It was as though the room itself had held still to witness it.

“You can write it down if you want,” she whispered.

“I can’t,” he replied, voice low. “Not without ruining it.”

The scroll remained untouched on the nightstand for a long time afterward. And when he finally picked up the brush again, he wrote slowly…deliberately.

Entry Four: Expression (True Smile)

Time: 2232, late evening

Trigger: unknown vocal stimulus (possibly paternal tone)

Duration: 2.4 seconds

Symmetry: partial; left corner lifted, upper lip stretched

Note: My hands have pulled open more faces than I can remember… but I’ve never earned a smile. Not like this.

[asexualmeansnosex]

My narrative begins with the yahoo group “Haven for the Human Amoeba.”   This group was formed in October 2000 but, other than the introductory post, there was no conversation until Feb 2001 when the founder was curious who the other people who had joined (but not said anything) were. In the following discussion, one person asked what an asexual was and the group founder said that being asexual means being not sexual—with reference to people, this means not being sexually attracted to men or women (or horses, cats, dogs or anything else someone might want to joke about.)

 (Asexual means not sexual.)

...

Meanwhile…in the 2000-2001 school year, there was a college freshman at Wesleyan University by the name of David Jay...

There wasn’t much information on this page—mostly just a definition of the term asexual and his email, asking anyone who knew anything about the subject to contact him.  The original definition was something like “a person who is attracted to neither gender.”  He then emailed his page to the heads of LGBT groups on college campuses around the US in an attempt to find other asexuals.  One of them wrote back to him about the “neither gender” part, informing him about trans issues.  In response to this, David modified the definition so that it did not assume a gender binary.  This was around March or April of 2001.

This initial definition—a person who is attracted to neither gender—fits well with the (now abandoned) meaning of the AVEN triangle, which I believe was also on the original AVEN page. 

(Asexual means attracted to neither gender.)

...

It was also around this time that people began to get an idea of the diversity that existed even within their small group.  One person who considered herself asexual said that she masturbates, and another was very confused by this.  She thought of asexuality as a lack of sexual attraction (likely reflecting the founder’s definition), and thought this was the same as sex drive (if you don’t experience sexual attraction, what’s the point?)  At this time, the concept of undirected sex-drive was introduced into asexual discourse and several people found it to be useful and adopted it.

People think asexual = no sex drive.

...

A couple weeks after David joined, he suggested that the thing that unified people on HHA was not experiencing sexual attraction—this suggests that by this point, he had changed the phrase “attraction/attracted” to “sexually attracted/sexual attraction,” probably on the influence of the founder of HHA’s definition and the one or two others who had adopted it.

This is around when the understanding of different attractions came up.

Late in 2001, there was a decent amount of discussion on issues involving defining asexuality.  The consensus opinion (at least the one expressed the most) was that asexuality is undefinable—each person had their own reason for calling themself asexual, and there was too much diversity in their (still very small) asexual community for any one definition to cover everyone.  

THERE IS NO ONE DEFINITION OF ASEXUAL.

However, people also agreed that it would be useful to have a definition that they could give to people—having a definition would be helpful for asexual visibility.  This was discussed, and there was no consensus.   David had proposed his definition, but there didn’t seem to be any strong support for it or disagreement with it...

Seen in this light, the Collective Identity Model makes a lot of sense: No single definition encompasses all asexual people, so the common theme is that asexuals are people who call themselves asexual because they disidentify with sexuality—i.e. they prefer not to have sex, and this affects how they go about forming relationships.  (The parts about identity and relationships were particular emphases found in David Jay’s writings more than in other members, but by and large, this definition fits pretty well with the early consensus.)  In this context, I think the definition “a person who does not experience sexual attraction” was intended to fill the need of a definition to be used for the purpose of asexual visibility rather than as the one that the community was based on.

Reading the history this way, David’s comment that I mentioned in a recent post makes perfect sense:  “A person who does not experience sexual attraction” is the definition used outside the asexual community. “A person who calls themself asexual” is the one used inside the asexual community.

Anyone who calls themselves asexual is.

...

However, there was one other important site which continues to be active—the asexual community on LiveJournal was formed in April 2002, about a month and a half before the AVEN forums began.  If we look at the “about” section of its profile, it says, “This is a community for asexual people to discuss living without sexuality. We welcome anyone with no or very little sexual attraction to others, people with low or no libido, and their allies.”  One thing you will find is that “a person who does not experience sexual attraction” does not appear.  The community was created because the community “asexuals” was considered too judgmental and was generally celibate people (termed “lifestyle asexuals”) rather than people with little or no sexual attraction (“classic asexuals”) and they spent a lot of time criticizing the sexual behaviors of others.

Asexual defined by celibacy and sex shaming.

...

If you read the early LJ posts, you’ll find that in several key aspects, it actually has a more inclusive approach than AVEN (LJ’s definition includes people who experience very little sexual attraction, people who experience sexual attraction but have such a low sex-they feel no desire to act on it, and a sharp distinction between asexuality and celibacy is not made.)  My suspicion is that AVEN’s inclusive approach was a necessary condition for its rise to prominence, but not a particularly strong factor since other sites also had inclusive approaches.

AVEN succeeded because it was INCLUSIVE of understandings of asexuality--some define it as no libido, some define it as experiencing sexual attraction but not acting on it.

...

One person suggested saying that asexuals are people who have little or no sex-drive, but this was rejected because of the fact that some asexuals have an “undirected sex-drive.”  Other than this, no one else proposed any alternatives.  In response to the “little or no” part of the rejected alternative, David mentioned a couple possible modifications: “experiences little or no sexual attraction” or “experiences negligible sexual attraction.”  He acknowledged these to be more accurate but was afraid that they would be confusing.  No one else commented on this, and no other definitions were proposed.

No agreement on a definition. Some say no sex drive, others disagree because some masturbate still (and sex drive within this history is VERY MUCH defined by getting relief from yourself, not from having sex with other people).

The majority opinion on that thread indicates that most people were perfectly aware of problems with the AVEN definition—it has difficulties dealing with the gray areas—but people didn’t seem to want to change the definition because they recognized that any definition is going to run into similar problems.  There is no perfect definition of asexuality.

...

Wow! It’s almost like this blog has a point in bringing attention to the fact that asexuality can be defined as things other than “does not experience sexual attraction” and that understandings of asexuality INCLUDE “does not have sex.” Many understand “does not experience sexual attraction” to mean “does not want to have sex with people,” that is to say sexual attraction MEANS wanting to have sex with other people.

[theoreticallytrying]

25 questions!! again i think lol

tagged by fae my best bae, she cray but she slay (@peachiichiim!!)

1) any pets?: ye! un shih tzu named coco, he’s crazy honestly

2) 3 things that are physically close to you: twelfth night, an exposed unmarinated chicken, and wuthering heights ( @peachiichiim @ummmm-n-o hc)

3) current weather?: dark and cold, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing, etc. etc. etc.

4) do you drive? if so, have you crashed?: ask me again in three years and probably it’ll be yes and yes

5) what time did you wake up this morning?: like 9...then i watched three episodes of merlin so technically like 11 bc i didn’t actually get out of bed until then lol

6) last time you showered?: like four hours ago. i love showering. it makes me feel all warm and tingly inside

7) last movie you saw?: i saw the new star wars yesterday but i fell asleep during the first one and didn’t see the second so i was basically very confused throughout the whole thing. rip finnpoe/stormpilot tho,,,

8) last text message?: ‘ceck card is best card’ no context is best context

9) ringtone?: n/a i don’t have a phone rip

10) have you ever been to a different country?: ya yeet! everyone in my family except for my parents and me lives in the philippines so holidays are lonely. but we visit every (other) year usually! 

11) sushi?:I LOVE SUSHI I HAVE SASHIMI LIKE TWICE EVERY WEEK LOL. BEST IS KANI I WILL FIGHT UUUUU

12) where do you buy your groceries?: safeway or target...if you blindfolded me i would know how to find my way through.

13) sleep meds?: “And I’ll sleep.” act 4 scene 1, as you like it bc sAMEE (again lowkey hated this play but it was a freakin meme)

uMMM about the question never! but last novemeber when i first got braces i was hella hooked on advil and i think i was taking six per day? also sneaking it into my no-medication-without-permission school and taking it at lunch?? so i started taking it b4 bed too so kinda ya.

i good now bc i ran out lmao

14) siblings?: si un brother. he ok i guss, mainly plays computer and minecraft all day so

15) desktop computer or laptop?: laptop

16) how old will you be on your next birthday?: older than juliet was when she married the dude who kissed ‘by the book’ haHAhA  14

17) contacts or glasses?: neither i do not like nonconsensual physical contact or wine glasses

18) do you color your hair?: i tried but it didn’t work, but depending on where i go for high school (all girls or liberal catholic or public) my mom said i could dye it purple this summer so that’s cool

19) something youre planning to do today?: entertain children, my dad’s godchildren from conneticutt

20) last time you cried?: omg this is the saddest thing ever but i was watching a bootleg of great comet a while ago hha and just dust and ashes man

21) perfect pizza topping?: sue me i like white sauce

22) hamburger or cheeseburger?: cheez w/ nO KETCHUP I HATE KETCHUP IVE HAD IT LIKE FIVE TIMES IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND NOOOO BLURGE

i like mayo tho. sue me for this too.

23) ever had an all-nighter?: oh MY GOSH so on my birthday in april, we had a poetry assignment due the next day. and i was a lazy arse and i was like ‘poetry is easy and ill just do it all in like three seconds’

i stayed up all night, on my birthday, to finish a hecking poetry portfolio which didn’t even end up going into the gradebook?????

to be fair it was terrible poetry but whatever

24) eye color?: “as brown in hue. as hazel nuts” more dark than petruchio says...like coffee (without the creamer :P)

25) can you taste the difference between pepsi and coke?: i’ve never had pepsi and i don’t like coke so nope

[sisikecil]

Putri Nurul Ilmi

Oh My God.

Tomorrow is your big day.

Iya iya Botan tau Uti marah sama Botan. But you have a right to do that tho 😢😔💔

Iya iya Botan tau it is my fault whose being so clumsy in following the instruction 😔

But it's a lie that i didn't think much about your big day as well.

Remembering we're just a young crazy girl few years back, whose getting intense in doing our KomBis Project, whose getting rich in making stupid plan whenever one of us having birthday, whose getting so bossy in judging Solo people's fashion style 😂 (lol we're so rude back then), whose getting so consistent it the context 'ga makan nasi, diganti tempe atau tahu aja dalam rangka diet wkwk', whose getting so 'kompak kalo uda ngerjain anak-anak 3 Dara', ga ada hari tanpa nge-bully satu sama lain ya kayaknya, belum sayang kalo belum bully bully-an tampaknya, Gosh... Time flies...

And tomorrow...

Tomorrow you gonna be a real woman.

Tomorrow you gonna have a new title.

A new level of your life, that people can't wait to see the happy ending of both of you ❤️

I wish i could be there. I really do.

But again.

It's my mistake to ruin my costume and yet as much i'm excited of your marriage as much as my family also persuade me to come to my cousin's marriage. So dilemmatic 😔

I still wanna come.

But i dont brave enough to ruin your ceremony by dressing up badly.

Plus youre right, i dont want to ruin your picture as well.

I know picture would be so important to you, camera has been your bestfriend since thousand years ago. And seriously, i dont want to embarras you by dressing inappropriately 😔💔😢

But if you allow me to say....

Dear Uti sayang....

Happy wedding day for you ❤️

You know you deserve the best. You are a good person. You are a very sweet girl that a man could falling in love without any effort. You cared people and think about them so much till sometimes you oftenly forgot to think about yourself (well, you should eat more tho! Inget pesen mamiiih 😠).

And tomorrow you gonna tie the knot.

You gonna walk to the aisle, coming to the one who so gently loving you (ciye ciyee abay botan pujiii wkwkwk, tp emg bener sweet sih dia klo dgr cerita uti).

And pick you up so that he could bring you to the new reality as a wife and a husband.

I'm wishing you all the best dear Uti-ku sayang ❤️

Sekali lagi maaf yaa botan ga bisa dateng...

Tp doa dan restu Botan mengalir dari sanubari botan yang terdalam. Percayalah Botan pun sedih pas nulis ini! 😢😢

Semangat ya sayangku untuk hari penantianmuuuuu.... Semoga dilancarkan semuanya, kesehatan, dan keceriaan pastinya aminnnn....

Tell me when you both are free!

I'm ready to fly to Kemayoran after your party! Hha

Happy wedding day, Uti.

I love you 3000! ❤️

[hethuisanubiss]

Het Huis Anubis without context part 2

[hethuisanubiss]

Het Huis Anubis without context part 1

[hethuisanubiss]

Het Huis Anubis without context part 4

[hethuisanubiss]

Het Huis Anubis without context part 3

[hethuisanubiss]

Het Huis Anubis without context part 7

[hethuisanubiss]

Het Huis Anubis without context part 6