#hints of spirk because obv

[c4t1l1n4]

So I wrote a quick little short fic about THIS cute comic by @uhuraborealis. I wrote it just now in like 10 minutes so it's not edited, but you can read it under the cut!

Vulcans Tell No Lies

Spock knows that when Jim approaches him with a look like that, nothing good is going to come of it.

“Spock,” Jim asks, voice full of wonder and eyes full of stars. “Can you meld with the Enterprise? Tell her I love her?”

Spock considers the captain for a moment. It’s not something he’s thought about—mind-melding with a ship. He doesn’t really think that anything would happen, as much as he’s touched the console and felt nothing in response. He knows that humans refer to ships as female and often personify them out of loneliness or a need for bonding. He doesn’t understand why humans can’t just appreciate a machine for the tasks it performs, but seeing as much as Dr. McCoy tries to project his human emotions on Spock himself, he supposes that it must just be second nature to them.

He indulges in a more human tendency, seeing as it was just him and Jim, and sighs. It cannot hurt to try, if not for the very least on the premise of scientific discovery, and it’s not like there’s anyone around to judge him.

“Fine.” He agrees rather bluntly, but Jim just looks at him, enthralled.

Spock supposes, as he places a hand on the console, that he can always lie for the sake of appeasing Jim. Vulcans do not lie, but as McCoy always points out, Spock is only half-vulcan, and half-vulcans can bend the truth. 

However, as he reaches out for what he can find of the consciousness of the Enterprise, he finds that he has no reason to lie. He is so caught off guard by the discovery as some form of being reaches back towards him, that he is overwhelmed by the experience.

The Enterprise does not think in the same way, with clear structure, intent, or words. No, she thinks with colors and emotions, bright and loud, filling up his senses. She is overwhelmingly a she, and she imparts him with the notion that she will tolerate nothing less from him, even if it means zapping him through the console like a misbehaving child.

He supposes that might be the best way to describe the way she feels about the crew—as children. They are all so much smaller than her, and she cares for them, treating them as gently as she can. In return, they treat her with love and respect and keep her in working order. If Dr. McCoy would stop hitting the biobed display screens when he was frustrated, she would appreciate that, though.

After taking a moment to reign the sensory flood back in, Spock organizes his mind and sends a specific train of thought to her. The words do not translate to her, so he tries to phrase them in a way she would understand, thinking of command gold, bright eyes, and a happy spirit. He focuses on the general sense of cheer, well-being, and concern that Jim carries for every member of his crew, but also on the horribly mushy feeling Spock gets on the inside when thinking about him.

Color ripples across his vision, something like laughter, and he thinks she gets the point. The reply he gets in return is what he sent tenfold—a tidal wave of things he could not possibly put into words and yet understands perfectly. He thanks her, sending a bright wave of gratitude radiating warmly from deep inside him, and pulls away.

He opens his eyes and looks over to Jim, who is waiting patiently. Curiosity and excitement dance in his eyes. There is no possible way to convey what he experienced in what felt like hours but was probably only seconds, so instead he says, “She loves you back.”

When Jim beams at him, smile wide and eyes glistening, Spock is glad it is no lie at all.

[rilldineth]

So a friend of mine told me that given that we are now in 2020, it will be fun if I did a top 20 ships of the past decade for me and boy, did I thought was a good idea and I have decided, why not right? I will be listing them here and...if followers decide to read it...well...

You will quickly notice that probably that most, if not all the ships fall on the following categories: a) rare-ships that are obv not canon; b) ships that are obviously crack; c) ships that had wasted potential, the ones hinted but never happened or briefly happened in canon and writers decided to fuck up. There’s also only one...one RL ship and I am ashamed yet not, but had to list it because I spent a long time hung up on it so don’t judge me.

So yes list...

Before the list, no list is complete without some honorable mentions, these are mostly ships I either got into the hype to recently (not being dedicated for years as the one I will list) or had my fancy then lost it.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Charlastor from Hazbin Hotel (recently got into it)

Clack from Final Fantasy VII

Cloud x Squall from Final Fantasy/KH series.

Hayffie from The Hunger Games.

TodoMomo from Boku Hero no Academia.

Gency from Overwatch series ( on and off )

RinMako from Free!

Terraqua from Kingdom Hearts series.

TOP 20 SHIPS OF THE PAST DECADE

20. Spuhura - Spock x Nyota Uhura (Star Trek original and reboot): Again this was another ship that I liked, since the original series, while everyone was Spirk this and that, I was like,’’yas, yas give me the sweet, sweet Spock and Uhura interactions’ and I was happy the reboot hooked them up, even if that ended dubiously but for a glorious moment, I had it.

19. Swarkles - Barney Stinson x Robin  Scherbatsky (HIMYM): This is one of those ships I am bitter, bitter and salty about, there are more in this list in fact next spot is another one. But I loved it and I did think they complimented each other better than the wet noodle they stuck Robin with, they took the time to know the other, grown separately and then together, the episode where Barney proposed to Robin gave me all the feels and it was so sweet, and then fuck the writers deciding to do what they did. It’s no wonder the finale of this show is so hated.

18. Lotura - Lotor x Allura (Voltron Legendary Defender): When they announced a new reboot to Voltron I didn’t think much of it. I had fancied Lotor x Allura in the original series, as dubious as that was, but then I started to watch this Netflix thing and there was something between them, something more tangible and I was happy. It was this strong woman with an equally strong man encouraging her strength and not putting her in the box of the exotic pretty princess, like a certain dude, and wanted to know her mind and interests, they discovered things together and for a brief moment knew peace and I was here so happy that we were getting something good and then fuck the writers again that decided ‘Nah bro, you’re not getting it’ and you know to fuck off again. I will always have fan fiction I guess.

17. VinTi - Vincent Valentine x Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII series): This is a ship that I think started to like during my second playthrough of the game, I always figured the both could work, both having loved people that for one reason or another couldn’t fully love them back (Lucrecia due to damn guilt and Cloud because of Aerith) and both were mature enough to fit together, I just like them okay.

16. Helsa - Hans x Elsa (Frozen): Truly, I have never made it a secret that I really dislike this movie, I truly do. The only good things were Hans (which I am still huh at the ‘turns out he is evil’ I still call trolls) and Elsa (because of her damn powers) and then the next step was shipping them and honestly, he should have gone for the older sister lmao, they make more sense and there have very nice fiction out there.

15. Yuzuvier - Javier Fernandez x Yuzuru Hanyu (Figure Skating): Ahh, we have reached my dreaded and dark secret only RPF fancy. Be it broship or more, I always liked the friendship and camaraderie these two skaters had with each other, they were rink mates and rivals but above all friends. I was kokoro break when Yuzuru was telling Javi that he couldn’t do it without him and stop it you two. I just like them, they are wholesome.

14. Victuuri - Viktor Nikiforov x Yuuri Katsuki (Yuri!!! On Ice): And here we have another precious figure skating duo when I started to watch this series it was only because it was a figure skating anime and I love figure skating, I never expected to see a wholesome and wonderful healthy relationship to explode in front of me. The relationship between Viktor and Yuuri is just so lovely, so mature, they both worked through issues, grew from them and accepted them even and I can’t I love it. (Special mention here to Yurio x Mila, as is another ship I love from this series and so underrepresented).

13. Jonerys - Jon Snow x Daenerys Targaryen (ASOIAF/GoT): Regardless of the stupidity committed in the series, I have shipped them since the books, because I can read in between the lines and there are too many parallels between them and their journeys, ones that at will some point collide and bring them together in a way that will be worth it, so better make it count George. 

12. Rhaegar Targaryen x Lyanna Stark (ASOIAF/GoT): Yes, mea culpa, I love tis ship and no one can shame me for liking it and boy has people tried to do so. Were these two smart of escaping like that and not saying a thing? Nope, they were so not. Was Brandon smart going to Kings Landing, knowing there was a crazy king with a penchant of burning people and demanding his heir's head? Nope, that was probably the stupidest move of all. Do I want to believe they loved each other? Why not? Martin has a penchant for tragic love stories, I know this ship is problematical for some, but I still love it and if you see spot 10 here, well I have varied tastes.

11. Soriku - Riku x Sora (Kingdom Hearts series): Come on, this is a given. Prior to Kairi appearing, it was clear Sora was Riku’s world and Riku’s was Sora, they were attached to the hip, the rivalry for Kairi more felt like Riku being jealous of Kairi and wanting Sora’s attention back. Then we have KH2 where Sora spent the whole damn game being all ‘Riku, Riku!’ and Riku doing his damn best to help him from the shadows, ashamed to be seen. DDD was more Riku protecting him and Sora leaning on him, even KH3 had Sora wanting to find and reach Riku, and then Riku going once again to find him by the end, so I am sorry but if there was a love story written here it was between these two. 

10. Hannigram - Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham (Hannibal): Quite honestly, from all the things I ship, they are probably what one will consider the most toxic one I guess, which fair considering one part of the ship is a charismatic yet cannibalistic serial killer. But there was something in the way this relationship was developed by Fuller and brilliantly brought out by Mads and Hughs that just hooked me, their soft moments, their violent ones, it just somehow worked for me. I guess this is also one of the few canon ships that I have, funny enough.

09. Rivetra - Levi Ackerman x Petra Ral (Shingeki no Kyojin): Who will have thought that a series about human eating titans was going to give me one of my most everlasting and also shortlived OTP’s. Years can pass by and I will still love this ship, my heart will still believe there was something more between them, something that was realized or something that wasn’t, I don’t know, but I will forever love it and even though years have passed since she died, I always enjoy the hints here and there that he still remembers her or hints where we are supposed to do so.

08. Squinoa - Squall Leonhart x Rinoa Heartilly (Final Fantasy VIII): People can say whatever the fuck they want ‘the love story was rushed’ ‘we hate Rinoa’ (fuck you btw) but it doesn’t change the fact that Squall fell in love with her and that Rinoa helped him to open up, to not take things for granted and Squall taught her to be even stronger and conquer her fears, they helped each other grow and it’s what matters in the end.

07. Feanor x Nerdanel (Tolkien): This is probably, from all the romantic relationships that Tolkien has gifted us, which I have loved the most and held my attention the longest. They have the happy times, the ones that were full of joy when they met and fell in love and had their children, then we have the tumultuous times when he became too obsessed with this craft, the separation when he left with their kids leaving her behind in her pain and then their possible reencounter when he leaves the Halls of Mandos and how they might deal with it.

06. ItaHina - Itachi Uchiha x Hinata Hyuuga (Naruto): Both the heads of two of the most important clans of their villages, both with heavy expectations upon their shoulders that nearly broke them, only one was talented from the start and the other had to learn, yet they are also similar. Both love their siblings to a fault, sacrificing so much for them and their happiness, both seem to hate conflict yet know is necessary and both are devoted and loyal to a fault, they would have suited each other wonderfully, in an AU probably they would have gotten engaged, who knows, but it would have been wonderful.

05. SessKik - Sesshoumaru x Kikyou (Inuyasha): A ship that could have been but that we didn’t have. This is a ship that has been with me for years and I don’t plan to let it go, they were the best players (in a sense) in that game against Naraku, also probably the strongest, both level headed and smart, not easily intimidated and calculating, together they would have been quite a formidable force and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see that.

04. Bethyl - Daryl Dixon x Beth Greene (The Walking Dead): Another wasted potential and gone so soon, not to mention forever salty at the waste. The way they were being developed promised so much, in the few time he was with her, well, she taught him to have faith and it’s something that apparently still shows from times to times (I am not sure as I stopped with this show) and imagine how it will have gone if they had more time. Just a waste.

03. Romanogers - Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanov (Marvel/MCU): I have been shipping them for years, like honestly, and when the MCU was showing me the seeds of potentiality I was happy, not even that stupidity with Bruce killed my hope, as they still had this steady relationship, he trusted her and she trusted him, something that she couldn’t say of many, they had each others back and took care of the other...but again another wasted potential right there.

02. Huddy - Gregory House x Lisa Cuddy (House MD): I spent years, kind of, season after season watching the delicious and lovely UST between these two characters, watching them snark and then help each other, watching the ‘won’t they will they’ dance, waiting for the moment when these two will finally collide and my lord was it glorious when they finally did, and I was eager to see where it went, as they both seemed to be in relatively good places, but no once again forbid the writers to stop House from being self-destructive and another ship I had waited years was ruined.

01. Terrence "Terry" Graham Grandchester x  Candice "Candy" White Adley (Candy Candy): And this is still my most important ship of the decade, I was forever bitter they never ended together and that their authors decided to make them suffer so much, but then Final Story came and all clues were pointing that aha they did found the other again and ended together as they were supposed to be, and before anyone says shizz, I did manage to read the novel and I do believe all hints were there to let us all know the identity of her husband was Terry and I am so happy.

And there it is, all the ships of the decade for me lol. Next stop, I should maybe make a list of mythos ships I like lmao.

[soyraktajino]

hi i’m having a really shitty day here’s a really embarrassingly detailed analysis of a fall out boy song that reminds me of spock regaining his memory after st:iv 

please don’t reblog this this is mostly a self-care post 

like if you read 

G.I.N.A.S.F.S by Fall Out Boy 

(Gay Is Not A Synonym For Shitty) 

the majority of this song works best from Spock’s perspective but the song itself changes perspectives (”you almost pick up the phone”/”i almost pick up the phone”) because it’s intended to be a love story between two broken boys who can’t admit to each other that they’re in love (which is. kirk/spock as hell)

I've loved everything about you that hurts, so Let me see your moves, Let me see your moves Lips pressed this close to mine, True Blue

this works as both Jim and Spock -- “I’ve loved everything about you that hurts” because they love each other through their insecurities and through the things that no one can understand and that hurt them to no end (Jim’s traumatic past ie Tarsus IV, his constant fear that he’s not doing enough for his ship; Spock’s internal turmoil over his conflicting cultural perspectives). 

also merriam-webster defines “true blue” as “unswerving loyalty (as to a party) ie a true-blue romantic, completely faithful and loyal to a person or idea” which i think is beautiful in that unswerving loyalty is. both of their defining factors. 

But the prince of any failing empire knows that Everybody wants, everybody wants To drive on through the night If it's a drive back home

yeah i’m not 100% on this i just like it conceptually as like... Jim and Spock driving back to their apartment in San Francisco (or taking the BART or smth) and wanting the drive to last forever because once they get there, y’know, they’ve gotta try and figure everything out. at least driving home holds the promise of maybe everything’ll work out. 

(pre-chorus 1) Things aren't the same anymore Some nights, they get so bad You almost pick up the phone

so my favorite fic about post st:iv basically has Jim ask the bridge crew to help re-arrange their apartment before they get there - hide all the things that’d suggest they were married, because you can’t just. force him into a marriage he doesn’t remember. so Spock stays in the guest bedroom. 

“things aren’t the same anymore/ some nights they get so bad/ you almost pick up the phone” sometimes Jim misses Spock so much he just wants to reach out to Spock and tell him everything, forget letting him figure it out on his own. but he never does. 

(chorus) Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns I sleep with your old shirts And walk through this house in your shoes, I know it's strange It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you I'm supposed to love you

this is my favorite part ok 

“trade baby blues for wide eyed browns” because Bones’ eyes (literally, literally called baby blues in-series) and Bones held Spock’s katra, wide-eyed browns as Spock’s eyes obvs and wide-eyed works because wide-eyed to the new world around him that he’s gotta relearn 

“i sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes”  so like Spock was only dead for like a few weeks at most between st:iii and st:iv so it’s. incredibly hard to say what the fuck happened to all of his stuff. there’s no way Jim could’ve thrown it out. so i like thinking of this from either of their perspectives -- Jim wearing Spock’s old shirts (he wouldn’t know, anyway) as a comfort and walking through their home trying to empathize with what Spock must be going through...... but more than that, it’s really from Spock’s perspective because of the next part of the chorus. so Spock wearing Jim’s old shirts (he wouldn’t know!!) because he subconsciously knows he has an attachment to them somehow and walking through the house trying to remember everything that Jim remembers about them 

“it’s a strange way of saying that i know i’m supposed to love you” is Spock’s realization that he and Jim were bonded. and it’s really painful because he knows he’s supposed to love him, he knows this is something his past self must have felt, but he doesn’t understand it for himself. as much as he may want to. 

I've already given up on myself twice Third time is the charm, third time is the charm Threw caution to the wind But I've got a lousy arm

i don’t have a spirk meaning for “i’ve already given up on myself twice/ third time is the charm, thirt time is the charm” because the irl meaning of it is that pete’s tried to kill himself a couple of times (7 minutes in heaven’s alternate title is atavan halen, a play on van halen, because his suicide attempt in 06 was with an overdose of atavan; i think his other attempt was when he was a young teenager iirc) and he’s really tongue-in-cheek about suicide which. i identify with so strongly because when i was 17 i planned out my suicide attempt and didn’t go through with it and now that’s in my medical history and it’s such a pain in the ass to have every psychologist ask about it, i was just a terrified kid and i didn’t see any other options, it was 5 years ago, i fixed it myself by getting myself help. anyway the “third time is the charm” is also related to a verse later, “you saved my life that night on the roof of your hotel” because patrick climbed his ass up there and talked him off the ledge. like this is overtly a song pete wrote about his affection for patrick. (pat’s eyes are blue and pete’s ex-wife ashley’s eyes are brown and they’ve definitely been seen wearing each others clothes). and patrick singing it is just. so emotional for me. 

“threw caution to the wind but i’ve got a lousy arm” is just a really nice phrase for either Kirk or Spock saying ‘fuck it’ and trying to hint that they’re in love but the hint wasn’t received 

i know this verse is really weak on the spirk just let me have this alright 

And I've traced your shadows on the wall Now I kiss them whenever I'm down Whenever I'm down Figured I’m not figuring myself out

god i love this verse too. (”figured i’m not figuring myself out” is pete’s tongue-in-cheek way of addressing biphobia, how ‘’’’’you’re either straight or you’re gay’’’’’’, look at this bi ICON)  

anyway this is definitely Jim. “i’ve traced your shadows on the wall and i kiss them whenever i’m down” no one literally traced anything ok he’s traced with his fingers shadows of Spock on their bedroom wall from his memories of them together and kissed them whenever he’s down... whether or not you want to imagine an incredibly depressed jim kirk actually kissing a wall is up to you my depressed little gay ass would 

(pre-chorus 2) Things aren't the same anymore Some nights, they get so bad I almost pick up the phone

“things aren’t the same anymore/ some nights they get so bad/ i almost pick up the phone” is a mirror of the first pre-chorus with “you” traded for “i” -- now it’s about Spock instead of Jim. now Spock wants to reach out to Jim. 

(chorus) 

(see chorus lmao)

Born under a bad sign, but you saved my life That night on the roof of your hotel "Cross my heart and hope to die Splintered from the headboard in my eye" Photo-proofed kisses I remembered so well

oh FUCK i always thought it said “bullet-proof” kisses because that ties it in to another song on Infinity on High, but photo-proofed kisses makes my heart ACHE; because these boys were constantly followed by the paparazi especially after pete came out as bi. pictures that caught them kissing were. proofed to erase that because the label didn’t want the mixed publicity. fuck me UP

anyway yeah this verse is also hard for me to make a spirk interpretation of because i know the actual story here so well. they were on tour and pete just, has depressive episodes and he climbed up on the roof of patrick’s hotel in the middle of the night and patrick talked him down. (which -- you could romanticize this so easily but pete doesn’t, he just comes right out and says “you saved my life”, because pete wentz fucking gets it and the only time he romanticizes mental illness is when he does it sarcasticly, and the sarcasm is biting; especially because these boys know all too well how their fan base is. a bunch of mentally ill teenagers. they talk about it a lot in a way that... it feels so much like how when queer folk talk about queer issues. we don’t have to step around shit like we do when we talk to allies. it’s such a comfort. that’s what fall out boy feels like to me, it’s written by these boys who know what it is to be deathly sick and who’re talking to kids who’re deathly sick themselves.) 

sorry fuck i... have a lot of feelings about fall out boy. 

anyway, spirk 

Born under a bad sign, but you saved my life That night on the roof of your hotel "Cross my heart and hope to die Splinter from your headboard in my eye" Photo-proofed kisses I remember so well

“born under a bad sign” can refer to genesis and spock being reborn but it can also refer just to spock being born into adversity. also jim’s a fucking pisces and so am i and listen, it’s the worst fucking sign okay 

“you saved my life that night on the roof of your hotel” could like. theoretically. just be something that happened. a small memory. they’ve gotta go to some stupid starfleet thing because let’s be real jim’s always under question as the captain of the flagship and spock’s always under question as a vulan in starfleet and. i think for the both of them the “you saved my life” is less urgent than ‘i was actually going to jump off this roof’ and serves as more of a ‘you made me believe in myself again’ because they do that for each other. so. often. 

listen i don’t even know what ‘splinter from your headboard in my eye’ means for the song meaning irl, i’m just ignoring this

“photo-proofed kisses i remember so well” the little Vulcan kisses they give each other all the time as small comforts through the day aren’t recognized by the press or the brass so they can do it in front of everyone as much as they like, as long as they’re discreet -- fingers pressed against each other at their sides, while passing each other in the hall, etc.  

i’m repeating the chorus here because i fucking love it 

(chorus) Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns I sleep with your old shirts And walk through this house in your shoes, I know it's strange It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you I'm supposed to love you

anyway this is the gayest thing i’ve ever typed out in my life, it felt really nice to do, thanks for your time

if you actually read this whole thing you are entirely too good to me and i don’t deserve your friendship, but thank you so much this really means a lot to me