#honestly they’re pretty much unstoppable force meets immovable object to me

[andromebaa]

Togakure Moodboard 2/??

AKA the one primarily focused on Byakuya being bad at feelings

[peeterparkr]

invisible string;tom holland.

summary:  life has a way of pulling you and Tom close to each other, then it pulls you apart. 

 “It is like an invisible red cord or thread which connects you to that one person you’re destined to meet, your true love.” 

soulmate au

word count: 6.4k

pairing: tom holland x reader

warnings: breakup mention, fluff, angst. fluffy angst. 

LOOK I TRIED TO WRITE FLUFF BUT I’M NOT GOOD AT IT SO ANGST CAME BUT I TRIED BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

heavily inspired by folklore and evermore by taylor

thanks @jambrosemc for helping me you’re amazing

So, this is for one of my best friends here, @badhollandfluff, Delaney I’m sorry this took so long but I wanted it to be perfect for you, surprise!!! I’m your secret Santa! Love you, hope you had an amazing Christmas and I wish you a happy new year, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

Thanks to everyone who joined, happy holidays!! 

No one ever has time. We’re always running and rushing and trying to save a little, it’s always like we have it counted and we never truly realize time is passing by. The clock keeps ticking. You were a victim of that, sometimes, always running, never knowing why. Time always going faster than you wanted it to be. 

Until it stopped, it had stopped since last year. 

There you were now. A white mug. These days you don’t really see that. Everyone has the paper cups with the coffee collar. Their names scribbled on black that probably still smells like sharpie. But you were holding a white mug, that now was just slightly stained by your pink lipstick. 

The mug was stained inside too, with the leftover foam of your capuchino. You were letting it set cold, watching as the people would walk in. Waiting. 

You trailed your gaze around the room, there are some couples around you.

You liked the idea of this café, with people gathering around just for the simple fact of drinking a hot coffee out of a mug. You like to come here, to sit out your thoughts, sometimes you’ll find some time to work, read. But you’d be alone. You’ve been lonely lately. 

It didn’t matter, it’s fair to point that out. But today, you were going to meet him. Again. 

But you didn’t know that yet. 

You had once read about soul connections, interested if you’d ever find your own, seemed like most people around had met them. You hadn't. Not the one you were longing to find, that is. 

Bizarre. 

Honestly, you didn’t believe in them. Or you liked to say that to yourself, sad enough to admit you hadn’t found any type of strong connection. 

Or maybe you had. 

But it made absolutely remotely no sense, at all. 

How could you? There was absolutely no scientific proof that there were soulmates, and though everyone said you could feel them, that you’d sense it, and though the extinguished sadness on your friends could be proof enough, you were still sceptic. Maybe just doubting if you’d find yours. Or maybe you didn’t want to accept who was yours. 

Because Tom had left. 

Your friends had assured you that when they’d found it the world had turned idyllic, a pink life. 

Yeah, it had felt like that when you’d found Tom, but now everything was gray. 

However, you knew more about them than anyone else. You had researched about them, you had read about them and you were so informed that you sometimes didn’t even believe it. 

Though you liked to ignore that sometimes there was a song stuck in your head without reason or there was a sudden joy, that had no possible explanation. 

“It’s your soulmate,” someone would point out. 

It wasn’t, it’s just Tom’s favorite song. 

There was also a sense of pain, sometimes you didn’t understand why you felt such a heartbreak, how bad had they hurt them? If they did exist, that is. 

They didn’t, though. 

You’d read about that heart connection, that feelings connect trying to understand how it comes and goes.  

There are three types of connections. Karmic partnership, soulmates and twin flames. Different types of connections. 

First ones, karmic partnership, and it is as bad as it sounds. They’re often confused as soulmates and people like to cling to them. They’re… awful,  being the one heartache that is there to teach a lesson, the one person that is there to show you something about yourself, the one person who is strictly there for character development, let’s say. The one person you fall in love with and keep falling in love, but it’s not love,  no matter how many times they hurt each other they go back. It’s not love, though. Or maybe it is, but there reason they exist is strictly to make you reason. It becomes….Cyclic. Until you finally decide to break the cycle. Intense transformation, the one person that makes you see yourself from a different perspective and change. There is, however, no compatibility. 

Probably what you had with Tom. But… no, it wasn’t… There was too much compatibility. 

You’ve had your fair share of them, maybe you’ve had 

Then there are the soulmates. The perfect compatibility. 

The one connection that is beautiful, a person that you just… feel it. The one person you feel like you’ve waited for them your whole life. Strong compatibility, there are more than one soulmate, that is to say, it could be friends, it could be family. It doesn’t have to be a romantic partner. There are soulmates that you wonder how they can be such an incredible connection. 

Everyone has soulmates. You knew you’d met some of them, the friends one that is. None of them a connection strong enough to be your partner. Not that you didn’t want to, though. 

Or maybe you didn’t want to acknowledge it. 

You’ve read somewhere in the internet that there are connections that go beyond your wildest imagination. Go beyond soulmates. The… twin flames, the one your soul is so attached to, you can feel their pain, their joy. 

Journeys end when lovers meet. 

It’s fair to say, you’ve never believed in that information. Less after a heartbreak. 

You had a million thoughts over your head, oozing you with stress and feeding your not long enough sleep schedule. You were slightly angry, you’d say. You didn’t like him anymore. 

There are two kinds of people when it comes to liking someone. The ones who go forward it, fighting for it, hinting on it. Flirting as if there was no tomorrow. People like Tom. 

And then there’s people who run away from feelings and try to pretend to act natural around their crushes. People who definitely don’t want to overstep boundaries and are afraid of ruining friendships. People like you. 

But there was nothing to ruin now, was there? 

Because there’s also people who give up. People like him. And people who never dare to forget. People like you. 

It was never even. 

But you keep daydreaming about him and can’t help that tinge of red spreading across your cheekbones every time he was near you. You shouldn’t have given in. You should’ve fought, but you were reckless. A sunrise dropping by again, and you wondered what had gone wrong.

Tom wanted to talk, you didn’t. You loved him, he didn’t love you. 

Tom was gone. For good.

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object. 

It’s the kind of love that you’d probably want to avoid. You at least, avoided all kinds. After him, who’d want to love anyone else? He was the only one who could tell if you dared to smile with your eyes only. 

How stupid were you to believe he was your soulmate. 

But no, this wasn’t right. Because feelings make everything blurry and it’s something not exact. If it wasn’t for science and numbers you didn’t like to believe anything.  If you don’t know how it’ll turn out then you’ll probably avoid it. And when it comes to relationships, you never truly know. Or sometimes you do, but it’s usually... not pretty. You’d learned that with him. 

Relationships end, and while you don’t want them to. You’ve sensed it, from the beginning. And you just hope that they’ll remember you in a nice way. Did he? Or had he just passed the page. 

You still felt stuck in a chapter. He had stopped reading. So hard to be on different books now. 

But with him, He was an exception. He was pushy and wasn’t giving up at the beginning until he did. You had seen him fall out of love, and that’s the worst kind of thing you get to face, when you see them slowly trailing far from you. 

Plans? Dreams? The willow tree in that park when you had first kissed was still crying over your breakup. Your head had been low since you’d last kissed him. Had you known it was your last, you’d probably would’ve made it last longer, you would’ve held him for more time. You wouldn’t have let him leave. 

But you had had your moment with him. It had been the last time you saw him. The one moment when you realized that his  fake smile was just that, how convenient and cliche. But you didn’t want to give you in, just yet. No, you wouldn’t. He’d changed, and you didn’t like who he was now. Too changed, too built up, too busy, too whatever you could come up with. 

You got tired of begging, and then he was easy to forget, you hadn’t forgotten. Just two years ago you thought he’d made a decision, you had made it. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. But he didn’t. And you couldn’t stop him, he was growing and growing and simply he escaped from your touch. 

Then it had been a goodbye, and nobody had seen it coming. You had, you’d known it for a long time. And it was weird, you were so in love with him that you knew that it was the best for you both, to get away because though you loved him, you knew he wouldn’t be happy with you. It’s difficult to let go of what makes you happy. 

You remembered it, how both of you would only smile at each other, like damn strangers, say a few hellos, and a fews how’s the weather, as if you hadn’t spent countless nights in between the sheets, as if you hadn’t danced in the middle of the night, as if you hadn’t given him each of the stars in the night sky, as if you hadn’t shared enough drinks together. Or as if you hadn’t fought for your love. You with that red jacket of his. How every path led to him. How every stupid weekend belonged to him, but now you wished they’d pass by sooner. 

Maybe that’s why you were always rushing, so you wouldn’t feel it. You didn’t like the weekends anymore. 

And now, she looked at him the way you were supposed to look at him. At first, it had hurt just a little, you hadn’t believed it. You knew it, everybody wanted to love him, but nobody knew what it felt, the crushing feeling that was loving him. How much it hurt, to watch him paddling with a precious smile, and those pair of angelic eyes, so pure and then turn into a devil just for you. 

Nobody knew how it felt. Anticipating a heartbreak every time he walked in, and to pretend that you didn’t feel that anymore. 

Last time only you thought you’d give him your heart, and he had pushed you away because his heart belonged to someone else. Then it was forbidden, to think about him, to dream about him, to still smell his scent on your pillows. It wasn’t right. 

How could his heart ever belong to someone else but you? 

And you had to smile, to say you were happy for him. Because you were, and that new girl was a fool because anyone who dares to fall for him is a fool, tangled in between lies. She who dares to love him is willing to have her heart crushed by him. And who but a fool is willing to let your heart be crushed by him. 

Last time you’d seen him had been a friday night, 10pm on that one pub he liked going to. You had gone out with your friends, and he was there, with her against his shoulder, her with the long hair and the perfect smile, perfect laugh. 

To think that had been your place once. You had avoided his gaze, ignored he was there. Pretending he hadn’t seen you. But he had. Pretending you hadn’t seen him. But you had. 

Someone had said there is life after love, but there is not love after him. It’s like you’d thrown everything to the fire, and he had watched it burn. Everyone said it: you’ll be happy. 

When? 

Sure, it’d come, eventually. But it had been a year. 

You’d heard he had broken up with her, a while ago. Then it was that hope again, probably why you were recurring to that café. 

It’s funny to think you’ll love someone forever, and then it just… disappears. Every promise eventually breaks, every kiss eventually fades, and love is eventually gone.

Then why wasn’t it? 

Time was your biggest enemy. 

Your story with him, from the moment you’d first seen him, he was just—perfect, you thought about it, how everyone said it was your soulmate. And you believed it. From the moment you’d met him, you had finally believed in soulmates, because it made sense. How your story had been built up to him, and how many times of sudden joy had you had before meeting him because of how close you were. 

Life had been so reckless. You were supposed to meet him several times before you actually met. It was stupid to think, how you were always thinking about it, now that you were apart. 

The first time you’d ever crossed paths had been when you had been very, very young. You didn’t know he had been there, not aware, at a park. And there had been this sudden joy. You remembered feeling it, you’d said it, felt a spark. 

Just children unaware of a flame burning too deep inside of you. 

That other time, at the supermarket when both of you had gone with each other’s mothers and both of you had been playing with the toys. 

You’d never forgotten that one very time, first time your hands ever touched, and it had felt like electricity. Two kids very confused by that spark, when both of them had reached to that one toy, confused. 

Or that one time at the café when he had walked in, you were sure he had walked in, you’d felt it, how your heart had started to beat so fast,  but before you could even glance at him he had walked out. Lost in the crowds, always. 

How both of you had had a broken heart at the same time. First kiss had been almost at the same time, just blocks away, actually. 

Or how you’d both been at that one party, but didn’t know about it. It made no sense how life had been so desperate to get you together but both your surroundings pulled you away. That night had been so close, both dancing behind each other, singing on top of your lungs to the same stupid song. 

Or that one time when someone had pointed him to you when you were at that one pub, “look, that guy is cute.” 

You had looked at him, he was. Shy smiles had only been directed in each other’s direction. 

You’d later learned he’d sent you a drink but the waiter had mistaken the table. 

That one time when you had run out of cash at that sandwich place because their card machine had stopped working, you were rushing, and you were missing only cents, and Tom had come to your rescue. 

Or how he worked near you and his dad had been friends with your mom at some point. How his favorite song was the same as yours, and how often you’d be at the same park, him on his phone, you reading a book. 

How you’d once met his dog that had run over to you. A dog that would learn to love you and did miss you from time to time. 

How Tom had randomly found that one book you’d lost at the park once, under that willow tree and he’d read it. Loved it and then lost it again at that same park, with a random paper note that read: “Jerry’s 8pm, wine.” he’d used as a book separator. 

Who was Jerry? What would happen at 8pm? Wine? What type? Red? Rose? White? Why were you so intrigued by that note? 

You’d kept it to this day. Still didn’t know what it was. You knew Jerry now, though, he was a friend.  And now you knew that he liked wine but preferred beer. 

You’d given him a pretty book separator. He still had kept it to this day, never used it, he always used random notes or napkins or whatever he found. At first it stressed you, how many book separators did you not have and he’d use napkins or those fortune papers that come with fortune cookies. So you had transformed into a better habit, you would write notes so he’d used them. You’d order chinese food more often, too. 

He said he’d always remember that, your little notes, the way you always stained your cup of coffee with lipstick, your two left feet when you danced, or the fact that your laugh would be heard across a room. He’d always recognize your laugh. 

What a Whimsical thing love is when it’s not the right time. 

How many times have you not felt like there was something missing? Until he appeared, at that one park near the cafe where you are sitting right now. The first time you’d ever officially met. Nothing out of a book, something very casual. Both of you at that café, it had been crowded that one day and the only chair available was the one in front of you. 

“I’m sorry, hello,” he had said, making you look up from your book. “May—I sit here?” He asked. “There’s no other chair left in the room and—“

“Yeah, yeah, hi, you can sit,” you had said, without really looking at him, but the moment you had, the moment your eyes had met his, you had…. felt like the whole surrounding had disappeared and you were the only people in the room, it seemed he had also noticed something.

A cold november evening, both of you had a reason to go home yet neither of you had  gone home. Both of you had found a way to that café, with coffees in a mug. The leaves falling outside.

He had sat right in front of you, you couldn’t help but blush when noticing he was attractive, very attractive. But there was something else about him, maybe it had been the way he couldn’t sit still. He had stared at you, and smiled. 

From the very first time you’d ever seen his smile, you knew three things,

His smile was the prettiest thing you’d ever laid your eyes on

His smile was so familiar 

His smile would eventually break your heart.

The third one wasn’t as cheerful but you could tell, he was one of those guys who could easily break someone’s heart in a blink. 

It didn’t take him a blink to break yours. You’d need a lifetime to break his. 

“I’m Tom.” 

“Y/N.” 

Both of you liked to debate over who’d talk to who first, it didn’t matter honestly. You both remembered how both of you had ordered the same drink, a cappuccino. Neither of you liked it, but apparently both of you had wanted to ask for something new. 

You’d always do that. Taste new drinks. 

And it had been… as if you’d met before. You had, multiple times before, but neither one knew, of course. Not at that point, but like you were meant to find him. The sun had gone down and it had been hours and hours of you talking to each other, like old friends who knew their deepest secrets and were catching up, laughs becoming one melody, and both of you had soon realized the cafe hadn’t been that crowded. Maybe it had been the damn destiny pulling you together. To that cafe near the park with that willow tree. 

He had asked questions you didn’t have the answers to back then. You did now. 

Before you knew it, you were walking with a stranger through the London night, seeing people walk by and not looking at them, because somehow you’d both walked to that one park. Both of you had discovered you both liked to sit on that one bench near the willow tree. How many times had you missed the other jusy by a matter of minutes. 

“You’re kidding, I love this place, I’m always here,” he had said. 

“I am, too, weird we’d never met before,” you had chuckled. 

You honestly didn’t remember how or why it had happened. A kiss. You’d kissed a stranger who didn’t feel like a stranger at all. 

“I’m sorry, I-” He had started. 

“No, it’s--” 

And then kissed again. Your stomach had dropped and had been replaced with butterflies. How had a simple cappuccino led to this? 

He’d given you a smile and a promise. You’d met him the next day, and the other one, and the next one. With that stupid smile of his. 

You missed that smile, or how he flirted with you, make you giggle with a stupid joke, or how he’d open his arms to you and kiss you, tumbling down to the couch. The way he’d make you listen to him ramble about his latest discovery. How he always found a way to make you smile in the crowds, always holding your hand, new dates in different places.

“What do you mean you’ve never gone paintball?” 

Weekends only for him, going for breakfast, for dinner, for lunch, for tea, for this, for that. . Then it was the weeknights too, always finding time for you, traditions you created and that you got rid off. Laying down on the grass, looking at stars, kissing in bars, dancing in his living room, your head on his shoulder in movie theatres, his scent on your pillow, his favorite movies next to your dvd, your perfume in his closet and your toothbrush in his bathroom. Notes he’d written to remember things all around your place. Birthdays, new year, parties. 

Endless nights of laugh, of wine and of nothing at all. Kissing. Video Games you didn’t understand, failed attempts to bake, watching sport games he loved and you… tolerated. Him finally agreeing to watch that movie with Ryan Gosling. 

“Why Ryan Gosling?” 

Building plans together, nights of both of you debating on something stupid. Singing on top of your lungs without knowing the lyrics. Getting lost together, that one roadtrip where neither of you knew the way and ended up at that one hotel in the middle of the road. Kissing. Learning to read every emotion, and being each other’s blankets. Hearing each other’s ugly laughs, and crying in front of the other. Being each other’s confort. Hugging him when you were scared at the movie. Meeting the parents. 

“They loved you, don't worry.” 

Always holding each other’s hands.  Fights under the rain. Making up hours later and cuddling to let go of it. Being friends with each other’s friends. Seeing friends getting engaged, going to the weddings. Talking about a wedding. Learning, becoming their best selves. 

Then…. Cold. 

He’d left you when you had been the most in love with him. When you thought he’d shows up with a ring. But he had said goodbye instead. With his picture on your phone and your hand cold with no one to hold. He’d changed your life, completely. 

You’d learned so, so, so much. And at some point you…. Realized it. 

You should’ve known, he was not your soulmate. 

You’d read somewhere about twin flames. Yeah… you had, about the one soul that changes your life. 

You’d learned about the importance of the sunrise and the sunset, how beautiful both of them are, and how dizzy you can get when you get to see both because you didn’t get to sleep because you had laughed and kissed all night. 

They say time is wise, yet you still were hurting and you still loved him. Because it was like his love was a thread still engraved to your own very soul. And though when you were with him it was timeless, you’d learned to give more minutes to the hours you were with him so you spend just a little bit more time staring into his eyes. How you’d learned about the importance of one’s sight, and how the eyes are the doors to the soul, he’d opened his soul completely to yours. And it was so beautiful and so easy to read. 

You’d learned a lot of things, like how to throw pebbles in the ‘right way’ to the river. You’d learned how to lie to your friends so you could go see him, late at night when the moon is the only light shining above yours. You’d learned that mistakes aren’t the end of the world and that you actually are very good at baseball. 

Tom had shown you how to distinguish between a guitar and a bass, not sure why you’d always confused them. And that it’s okay to sometimes leave the clothes on the floor if you’re rushing to get somewhere. Or that sometimes the clothes end up on the floor because you’re both… rushing. That it’s okay to have breakfast for dinner and that you can have dessert before the actual main course. He’d also taught you that facetime isn’t as good as being together but it’s enough to listen to each other’s voice. He had shown you that it’s okay to laugh at sex and that sometimes it’s not as romantic as it should be, that sometimes it is silly and other times it’s passionate. That it’s okay sometimes to say what you want to say before thinking. 

And you’d shown him how to enjoy a bad movie, or how to tie his shoes this other way, and that though the night kept changing, and you both kept growing and learning, you were still the same. You taught him that it’s okay not to know the lyrics and still sing the song, and that if you add a pinch of salt to the cookies you’re baking it’d make it sweeter. 

You’d taught him that Chinese legend. The red thread. 

“It is like an invisible red cord or thread which connects you to that one person you’re destined to meet, your true love,” you had told him. “In China it’s around your ankle, I believe… In Japan, male’s thumb and the female's little fingers, and in Korea are both little fingers.” 

He’d once, jokingly but not really wrapped around both of your pinkies a red thread. 

“I made it visible, see?” He had said. 

“You’re an idiot,” you had chuckled. 

“What happens if you’re apart?” He had wondered. 

“It’s supposed to bring you back together, it…” 

“Can I pull it, if I ever need you?” 

“I guess,” you chuckled. “I’m not sure.” 

“Can it break?” He asked. 

“I… don’t know,” you had confessed with fear.

Because you didn’t know. Maybe yours had been broken. 

But you kept teaching him things, and he kept teaching you other things. You’d also taught him not to never mistake salt for sugar to add to your tea. 

“They’re both a white powder I thought-” 

“Yeah I can think of more white powders that would’ve also gotten us in trouble.” 

You’d taught him that as long as you were his and he was yours, you’d shine as bright as stars. He’d shown you how to say ‘I love you’ to someone for the first time. Because you had, when you least had expected it, just about a weeks after you’d first dated. 

You wanted to order something for dinner, that one night, he was on his laptop ordering food,  you were cuddled against him reading who knows what. 

“Is it weird I want more fortune cookies? Would you be weirded out if someone was asking for more fortune cookies?” He had asked. 

You chuckled. “To get more fortune?” 

“To get more cookies, darling,” he had grinned. “Can’t be more fortunate than this, I am dating you, ain’t I?” 

“Very fortunate” you chuckled as he was ordering. 

“How much food would I have to order for them to send us like ten cookies?” He asked, mostly to himself. 

You laughed, “why don’t you bake them yourself?” 

“We both know we suck at baking, baby,” he reminded you as he kept adding food to the cart. “Besides we wouldn’t get the fortune paper thing, I like those as book separators.” 

He did use them as book separators and liked to randomly leave them on your nightstand  

“Why do you want them? We could buy them next week at the supermarket 

“They’re so good, darling and it’s not the same, they’re not fate then.” 

You only smiled, watching him. 

“Why don’t they sell like… the cookies?” He asked again. 

“They do—“

“No, not but like at the restaurants because they choose which ones to give you, that is fate,”  he continued. “Or like… Okay is this enough food so they think we are like ten  people here? Like if I order enough food they’ll send it to us, right?” He kept rambling to himself. “Like okay, we’d have to eat this for a while but baby look at the bright side we’d have more cookies and that would make me happy because I like the cookies, plus I wouldn’t steal your notes to use as a book separator and we could have like enough fortune things to… I don’t know wrap presents with.” 

And it had come out, so easily, “I love you,” you’d said without thinking about it, interrupting his rambling. You’d felt it for long enough, first time you’d ever kissed him  but somehow you’d never said it. 

And he had stopped worrying for the cookies suddenly, as he only looked at you, he hadn’t been prepared. He had only opened his mouth with surprise. He wasn’t as hungry anymore. 

“I--” he hadn’t said it back. 

“No, I’m sorry, no, no I’m sorry,” you gulped and sat up to get away. “No I didn’t--No, I don’t… I mean, no, yeah I do, I’m… Look you don’t have to… say it…I don’t love—No, I do, I do—“

He had smiled and took a deep breath, with surprise. 

You walked away. “No, baby, sorry—Tom, I’m sorry you don’t have to say anything I’ll just—Yeah.” 

You had tried to walk away but he had tackled you from behind, and turned you around to kiss you in his very way.  “I love you, too.” 

And the food had eventually arrived after kissing for god knows how long and you remembered opening that one fortune cookie. 

“Love, because is the only true adventure.” 

And it had been. The greatest adventure of your life, and it hadn’t been one of those crazy adventures. It had been small, but great. Good enough He’d forgotten one thing, he’d never shown you how to get over him. How to live without him. 

And you had said it, how it would never be too late for him to come back. He wouldn’t, you know. But he knew it, you’d always have each other. 

You had read about twin flames. How the compatibility and energy is so strong, so, so strong, so meant to be.  An intense soul connection, sometimes called a "mirror soul," thought to be a person's other half.  A same soul. And at times it did feel like it. 

But it doesn’t have to be forever. 

It should’ve been, though. 

But Tom was easily scared, and maybe he’d felt like his life with you would be forever, and you didn’t blame him for being scared. Finding the love of your life doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have to spend your whole life with them. 

“I’m always going to love you,” he had said. You knew he wouldn’t. 

But he’d never leave your heart or your mind, no matter what, day, noon, midnight. He was always there, but he had moved on. Or had he, really? 

He hadn’t. But both of you had a very different version of the relationship. He had waited for you at that willow tree, you’d waited for him at that café. And it had been like that for a while, both of you waiting at the wrong place, at the wrong time. 

He did miss you, very, very much and he also couldn’t get over you. You didn’t know, but even when he was dating this other girl he kept going back to you. He had kept his promise, he would always love you. With every cell, with every bone on his body. With his entire soul, because it felt like it was missing its other half. 

He had stopped burning when he was apart from you. No light, no nothing.

Because everything led back to you, everything was about you. And he had bumped into you several more times, you hadn’t seen him, but he’d seen you walking in the rain, and he’d seen you when he stared at himself in the mirror. He saw you in every fortune cookie he ate, or in every book separator he found. He had felt incomplete when he wasn’t with you. 

And after you’d broken up, Tom had felt incredibly numb and sad, your pain combined with his. He’d always wondered why that happened how he knew how you were feeling, a hunch he’d say. 

He’d always have a song stuck in his head, and he’d be thinking of you at the most random times. He’d always expect to find your lipstick stain on his mugs 

He always wanted to call, he never did though. But he was there, even if you didn’t notice. Like how he’d randomly send you a coffee with your friends, asking them not to tell you it came from him, or how if he ever walked by your place, he’d clean the dust from the mailbox because he knew how much you hated when it got dirty. How he had become friends with that guy from the Chinese place you liked to order from and he’d told him to always give you extra fortune cookies.

Tom wasn’t the same when he was apart from you, he hadn’t slept, he hadn’t smiled. But he did see one bright thing because it felt like he was being pulled back to you. 

He regretted breaking up because he’d been too scared to admit you were on the other side of the string. He feared it could break. But he was also scared that he would become the person he was before you, and how you probably wouldn’t like who he was before that. 

He also didn’t believe in soulmates, until you came. Because he thought And he thought your connection was too strong to be a simple soulmate. His soul and yours were one. 

But he’d left because he had to learn the last lesson, the one lesson you couldn’t technically teach him, and that lesson could only be taught by missing you. And damn, did he miss you. 

Because no one was you, no one knew his smile like you did and no one could read him like you. Your perfume still lingered and he missed your toothbrush in his bathroom. He missed having to get your hair out of his face when you were asleep. He missed the way you’d leave your books around his house or the way that he heard you sing the wrong lyrics. Tom missed the way you’d kiss his temple when you woke up earlier than him and how you always covered him with blankets. Tom missed looking into your eyes and making you laugh by making a stupid joke, knowing you’d be the only one laughing. 

He missed having you around at parties, when all of his friends were talking about things he didn’t like and he looked for you to give you that one knowing look but you weren’t there. He missed you when he got drunk, he missed you when you he woke up, when he wanted to run to you and kiss your cheek from behind. When he wanted to watch a bad movie and laugh at it, he’d miss you all the time. 

Tom was gone, yes. But Tom was gone because he wasn’t with you, and he couldn’t be himself again. How could he after you? 

Was there life after love? 

And eventually he’d seen you, always running into you but not letting you see him because he knew it would hurt you, it hurt him too. But how many times had his shoulder not bumped into yours without you noticing because your head was low. Or how many times had he not heard your laugh across the room and seen you. You were everywhere. 

And he didn’t know why he couldn’t get the courage like that one first time when he’d first asked to sit with you, that one time when he’d first kissed you. No other pair of lips deserved to be kissed after he had kissed you. 

And life was pulling him back to you but he didn’t know if you’d take him. He was scared that you had moved on, but something told him you couldn’t. He somehow knew that you still loved him because he loved you too. 

So he’d sit there, under that willow tree waiting for you to come back. But he was always running out of time, always having elsewhere to be. Because no one ever has time. 

You did, too, always rushing and that’s why you never saw him. Until today, with that mug in your hands, watching people, couples. Soulmates. And there you were, at that cafe, waiting for him to come, near that one park with the willow tree where you’d first kissed. 

Wishing he would come. 

But life is a strange thing, and maybe it had been the fact that the foam on your cappuccino had spoken to you, or the fact that you’d still kept that one fortune paper on the back of your phone, hidden underneath the case, or the fact that you had almost poured salt into your coffee instead of sugar, or maybe it had been  that thread around your finger or maybe a coincidence by itself, but somehow you’d left that café that day, willing to go to that willow tree for the first time.

Because no one ever truly has time, but he had pulled the string. 

tagging some other people who might like this: tag list   @spidxrparkxr​ @mukesnugget @anxiousdesignerdancerbandlover​ @happywolves81   @happywolves81 @applenter @silver-winter-wolf    @applenter @claredolphinbear24​ @bookgirlunicorn​   @tomshufflepuff @avengersgirllorianna​ @nevertoofarfromivar @saintlavrents​ @herofiennestiffinashardinscott.  @tomzfrog @dark-infernal-instruments​ @awkwardfangirl2014 @spideysimpossiblegirl  @tomzfrog  @xapham @awkwardfangirl2014​ @xapham @tomhollandisagod @xapham​ @laurfangirl424 @vintageroses1014516 @cinnamon-roll-peter​   @the-lost-fairy-tale @the-lost-fairy-tale @lala-florez​ @lala-florez​    @ilcveyou3000 @xxtomxo @socorroann​ @muffinmari25   @cassindeansass  @rogers-obsessed-barnes-curious​ @southsidespideyy @southsidespideyy​ @nathaliabakes​ @nathaliabakes​ @embrace-themagic @embrace-themagic​ @sanniegirl1214 @sanniegirl1214​  @softholand @fairytaleparker @underooling​ @griff1ndor @griff1ndor @thatweirdomimic​ @avengersgirllorianna​ @reginalaufeyson-holmes @better-daisy @yeahimcrying @allmonstersxarehuman @spider-manholland @better-daisy​ @itstaskeen @georiaang @sebxstianbarnes @kissingtrutharchives  @snoopy3000 @prettymessygurl @spideyparkerstark @fanfic-4-you @lexshead @officiallyunofficialperson​ @mannien @whitewolfandthefox​ @melodiclovesong @bizzlepotter​ @bizzlepotter​  @localfangirlx @acceptance07 @witchythingscore @witchythingscore @swaggyspiderman @localfangirlx​  @queengemsworld @liberty0123 @stiles-banshees @itsjusttor @stretchkingblog97 @annathesillyfriend @itsjusttor​ @tomshufflepuff @thewayilookatbacon @petersdiaries @emjaywrites @emjaywrites @thewayilookatbacon​ @jungeunave @emjaywrites​ @ispiderdudei @ispiderdudei @literalfsngirltrash @quacksonhq​ @it-is-rebel-owl-ma-dudes​ @desir-ae @desir-ae​ @desir-ae​ @peterporkpie @peterporkpie​ @smolpeachees @thenoddingbunny-blog @quackeroos @quackeroos​ @spideyyeet @astoldbydanid @astoldbydanid @hollandcreep @hollandcreep @astoldbydanid​ @hollandcreep @rebekkah4766 @farfromtommy  @rubberducky-jrr @oh-whatabeautiful-parker​ @coveredinthemessimade​  @shameless-self-promo-of-a-shrub @sweetiesangster​ @thatdamjoke​ @annathesillyfriend @annathesillyfriend​ @witchythingscore​ @witchythingscore @bookworm06  @bookworm06  @lala-florez @lala-florez @chaoticpete @bookworm06​ @peeterparkr @chaoticpete @shezzalocked​ @cosmichollands-blog @frenchfrostpudding @badbitchydecisions @w4ybefor3nir4na jj @saintlavrents @americaswritings @ilovepeterparker13 @lukesbabylon @lukesbabylon @iamaunicorn4704 @simple-things @simple-things @sip-portteam  @herondale-snow-carstairs @tony-starks-ego @quaksonhehe0 @stargazerholland @marvelslut-musicalnerd @hotrubycrab @sovereignparker @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash @belleknows @mysticalinsomniac @nycparkers @nycparkers @anythingthaticareabout @spn-assemble-seven @tanyalooovesyou @somethingchaotic  @heartofholland @peachybloomss @youcompletemesk @emyla3305 @emyla3305–butt  @hollandstanevans @farfromtommy @farfromtommy @southbeachfeeling @eridanuswave @tonguetiedholland @wolvesofthewinter @quacksonobrien @dcnerd98 @ifntelyinspirit @electraheart-3174 @julialucena5 @itsmilamawson @harryssuckz @harryssuckz @xstarbae @xstarbae @xstarbae @peterbparkerrwrites   @averyfosterthoughts @darethedragonknights  @hannahholland1811 @justanamesstuff @emyla3305 @abbiefangirls247 @onewithnomightypowers @itscaminow @youllbmineandillbeyoursbabelove @hotrubycrab  @spidey-holland-96 @awkwardnesshabitat @geminiparkers@primadonnasdream @slytherinambitious @maybecharming @where-art-thau-romeo @viagracex @viagracex @sspidermanss @pcterparxer @whatevshollandarchive @aleyabee @aleyabee @lovewolfspirit @viagracex  @xallyouneedislovexx @panicattheeverywherekid  @pcterparxer @thehauntingofmymind @redhoodparker @redhoodparker @cakepopcriss @allthisfortommy @aleyabee @perspectiveparker @let-me-luve-you @xxpeachyxo @m-a-r-i-n-t-p @superstarchick @notjustpenandpaper @morbiddanvers @runaway3 @runaway3 @runaway3  @lu-morningstar @th0ttie4tommy @riasaurusrex @riasaurusrex @frustratingpaperclip @readheadwriter @geesquariid @noxceleste @noxceleste   @peterparker-rickybowen-mybabies @witchything @peterporkpie @bookworm06 @panicattheeverywherekid @imthefloor @ohmyquackson @seaveyheartful @wangtan-boys @obiwanownsmyass @sadisticfries @not-some-docile-teenager @galaxystern08 @lovemarvelousfics @tomzfrog @calsthomas @thearchersupremacy @nikitajackson @dayazenn @the-fandom-life-forever @just-kickin-ass @quaksonhehe @dummiesshort @samaratheweirdo @fr3akingphantrash @i-love-superhero @mandeeleebeebee @captainamirica @dramaticdiva @halparkebitch @uglypastels​ 

[pastelninjaimagines]

B, F, K, L, X for the founder trio? 💕

 Hashirama

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He really loves your pretty smile, and the way your eyes light up when you see something you like or when you’re talking about something you’re passionate about. He loves how happy your face gets and that endearing sparkle to your eyes. He’s just so taken by your eyes (no matter the color) bc it’s the most expressive part of you, “the gateway to your soul” as he puts it. He could stare into your eyes for hours and be the happiest man on earth. 

He truly admires your enthusiasm and your passion for life. He loves that you’re just a genuinely happy person bc you both just enjoy life’s joys with one another. 

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He hatesss fighting with you, like it really kills him inside. He tries to do everything in his power to keep you from being angry at him, whether it’s through jokes or kind gestures. He’ll try to make whatever it is right, say extremely smooth things. Basically you can never stay mad at him for long. However when he gets angry, it’s a pretty scary thing and you know to avoid his path. Though he calms down pretty quickly. This man just hates fights with you, he wants tranquility and happiness, and for that, he’s pretty accommodating. 

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

The god of kissing. Like my god his lips make you swoon like nothing else. He takes your breath away, literally. His lips are incredibly soft too, so it’s incredibly enjoyable and comfortable. He can literally kiss you for hours. Pls kiss this man’s ears, it’ll drive him literally insane and ravage you with even more kisses. Super big on kissing the palms of your hands. Honestly, just loves kissing you anywhere and everywhere. Completely unabashed kissing you in public too. 

You and him were having a rock skipping competition. And the bet was whoever could skip the rocks farther got to request one thing of the other. Hashirama won (ofc) and he turned to you, an uncharacteristically smug expression on his face, and gestured for you to come closer. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “As the victor, I have one request.” He placed a finger under your chin and tilted your lips towards his. It only lasted a few moments, but he was grinning from ear to ear when your lips parted. 

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Incredibly nonchalant about it. You felt a bit blindsided by his confession only bc he’s flirtatious and kind to everyone, not just you. So you never expected to be the object of Hashirama’s affection. Of course you’d fantasized about the man, bc who wouldn’t? But you never imagined that he felt this way about you. You occasionally accompanied him on walks he likes to take to decompress and emerge himself in nature, when he threw his arm around you and said, “You know, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head for a long time. You mesmerize me, y/n.” This accompanied by the wink he gives you just obliterates you on the spot. You’re just a gushy mess as he asks you to be his. 

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

The king of cuddles. Like you can’t pry this man off you. He’s always touching you in some way whether you’re in public or in private, his hands are always on you. When you’re in public it’s normally his arm around your waste or he’s holding your hand. In private he’s all over you. He loves nuzzling his head to your neck, loves burying his nose in your hair. loves picking you up in a big hug and swinging you around. He lovessss nose kisses, forehead kisses. All kisses are good kisses. Shower him in kisses, he’ll shower you in kisses. It’s a never-ending affection train with Hashi. 

Tobirama 

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Already answered here

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He’s incredibly cold when he fights. Will give you the silent treatment. And he’s good at it too. won’t talk at all. Not even pleasantries. If he’s not talking to you he means it. It has to be a serious fight to get to that point too and that means you’re both on complete opposite spectrums of things or one of you majority messes up. Sometimes giving you the silent treatment is Tobi’s way of punishing himself if the fight is bc of him and he knows it. 

Your more petty fights, he’ll have a very sharp tongue and be very cold and logical. Not much rage or emotion goes into his arguments with you. And if you get emotional, he’ll walk away telling you to come around when you’ve stopped having a childish tantrum. He’s not dealing with you crying or yelling, he’ll tell you to take it up with someone else. Develop thick skin to deal with arguing with him bc it’s not pretty. He will apologize if he really hurts your feelings undeservedly, but it’s just a simple sorry without much fanfare. 

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He gets good after a while into the relationship. At first he’s incredibly hesitant with his kisses, but after a while, he learns exactly what works and what doesn’t. He’s a little cold, preferring little pecks here and there. But when he actually deems to make out with you it does drive you wild bc he’s very skilled with that tongue. 

Your first kiss was late at night. You were helping him with his research, pouring over scrolls. You moved to show him something when he put his hand on yours. He silenced your words with his lips, just a simple peck, fleeting, but when he pulled his lips away, he had a little smile and said, “You don’t know how long I’d been waiting to do that.” And then he gets back to work like nothing happened while you’re at a loss for words. 

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Tobirama never truly confesses per say. He kind of just assumes that you understand his feelings for him in the beginning of your relationship. He treats you completely differently than everyone else and it’s very obvious. He’s softer around you, concerned after your health, your well being. He looks after you, is more lenient with you. And of course, the way he looks at you, the way he smiles often in your presence. It’s incredibly obvious that he has feelings for you. Him confessing is him getting more physically intimate with you. His hugs, when he kisses you. It’s just something that’s understood. You’re the only person he’s doing those things with you. Months after you’re actually in a relationship you’ll be like, “Are we officially together, or…?” He’ll give you a scathing look and say, “You’re kidding, right?” You have to laugh bc you knew that was exactly what he’d say. 

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Already answered here 

Madara 

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

So he’s a sucker for your lips. He loves the little flush of pink they have, and how they’re always parted when you’re absorbed in whatever he’s saying. He loves how plush and soft they are, and how pretty you look when you say his name. 

He admires the fact that you actually put up with him and how patient you are. You have the patients of a saint. You take your time with him, listen to his endless rants with a sympathetic ear. You understand him. At times it feels like you’re the only one who can. And he loves you and admires you for it. To Madara he sees things as that it’s you and him versus the world and he loves you for it. 

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Fighting with Madara is like the unstoppable force meets an immovable object meme. He is stubborn. He will not admit when he’s wrong. And he will outlast you. He refuses to speak with you no matter how long it takes for you to either apologize or admit that you were wrong bc he certainly won’t. And if you try to argue your case he will get nasty. He’ll twist your words, say harsh things, he’s not above fighting dirty. Unfortunately when either of you are mad about something, it’s easier for you to just yes him to death bc he won’t quit until he feels like he’s completely in the right. And Madara’s petty as hell, so watch him get mad over stupid shit that means nothing and have you explain yourself to him bc he misinterpreted an offhand comment of yours that he hella took offense to. He just gets upset sometimes and you can’t figure it out, his ego’s kind of fragile when it comes to you. So you’ve gotta placate him a lot. Arguing is never good, avoid it when possible, bc while he will apologize if he realizes he’s said something that’s taking it really too far, he is brutal and will tear you down to win an argument. 

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Yessss he’s amazing. He’s a little aggressive. Loves to bite your lip and the dominant one with how you’re kissing. He’s always gotta be in charge and leading your little dance. Also kissing you down your neck is his favorite thing ever, giving little bites here and there just to hear you gasp. It drives him crazzzyyy. 

Your first kiss was after a battle. He found you and in the heat of the moment grabbed hold of you without saying a word, still on an adrenaline high, and kissed you hard on the lips. You were too frazzled to process, but he noticed how you kissed him back. He apologized afterwards for being so abrupt, but it came off as such an offhand comment that you knew he fully meant it.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Oof him confessing is a little awkward. He wants to get you alone so he takes the pressure off himself having a potential audience. So that might take some doing. He’s busy, your busy, he also doesn’t wanna blow his intentions right off the bat. So he’ll make some really shitty excuse to get you alone like “I need some help with something. Come over later tonight.” Super cryptic. Won’t give you any further information no matter how much you pester.  

But once he gets you alone, he’ll come right out with it. No fanfare just say, “For a long time I’ve had feelings for you. I hope you feel the same.”

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Madara is only affection when he wants to be. He’s very much like a cat. When he wants attention he’ll be all up in your space, but if he doesn’t want it, he’ll be a prickly and tell you to leave him alone. And you better leave him alone or you’ll receive a death glare you wish you hadn’t. 

He’ll really only be lovey dovey in private. He’ll want you on his lap to give you little kisses and hold you close when you’re all alone, preferably in your home. One of his favorite things is to rest his chin on top of your head while he’s holding you. He also loves when you play with his hair while cuddling. Like yes please fix his tangled mess of hair bc he sure as hell won’t

[matteredloyaltyaa]

@nvrlasting​ asked: 👫 // for joel & artie ofc!!

send me a 👫 for four headcanons about our muses’ relationship -- somewhat selective, still accepting

    I.   With the number of similarities they carry in both mannerisms and flaws, Arthur finds himself honestly not sure how things will go with him early on in their relationship. Sometimes they get on really well and sometimes it’s like unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. Fights happen and Arthur doesn’t really find himself all that surprised in the long run when they do happen, much as he gets better at navigating that as things go along. Arthur’s severely loyal but he’s questioned what the hell he’s doing with him during the odd point. 

    II.    Arthur doesn’t have a musical bone in his body (at least, in so far that he’s came to that conclusion about himself after an attempt or two) so teaching him guitar is likely a failed venture. Considering how Joel and Ellie are bonded through that, he kind of envies it in a small way but it’s not something that effects him majorly. However, he may give him the odd drawing or two for woodwork ideas. 

    III.    Considering they’re both pretty big fans of coffee, I imagine Arthur helps in keeping an eye out for it when people comes through and has probably surprised Joel with some every now and again. He’s usually fine with parting from the bag so long as he’s promised a cup when he wants some. 

    IV.    Arthur’s in a strange spot with him in regards to the secrets Joel keeps about his life, considering he’s not a huge fan of that but is all too aware that he’s not all that open about his life before the collapse or even Jackson either. They’ve both done some shitty things to get themselves where they are, and Arthur does eventually find some understanding in and for that, but it takes a while before any of it is out in the open between them. 

    Bonus:    Artie is a nickname that is like nails on a chalkboard for him, never call him that. lol

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 64: Keystone Motel

“IT’S FUSION, SAPPHIRE!”

Keeping It Together suggests that despite Steven and the fans clamoring for more Ruby and Sapphire, their return would only come about in a calamity. So, erm, thank you Pearl?

It would be so unfaithful to Garnet’s character for Ruby and Sapphire to pop up all the time after the big reveal, because the whole point is that they’re in a stable fusion. But despite the circumstances, it’s great to see these two again. Charlyne Yi Ruby left a bombastic first impression in Jailbreak, so she’s always welcome, while Sapphire was barely in her debut, so we want to know more. And while later episodes like Hit the Diamond where the world isn’t falling apart are fun, characters in crisis are inherently interesting to watch. 

The structure of Keystone Motel takes the familiar introductory approach of meeting new(ish) characters together, then separating them to explore them as individuals, then joining them again to see them as a unit in a new light. Gem Glow did it the same way, but now we have the benefit of sixty-three episodes of show to let us focus harder on the characters instead of meeting an entire world (even if we do touch on that with the new environment). And just as importantly, we also have sixty-three episodes establishing Steven’s particular lens.

I didn’t mention much of Steven in my Cry For Help review, as he exists solely as an observer with Amethyst, and of the two, Amethyst is far more important to the episode. He’s still great, particularly in the small meditative scene where he teaches Amethyst how to make her fingers float by crossing her eyes, but plotwise he’s an ancillary character in the Week of Sardonyx.

Except for here. In Keystone Motel, he spends most of the episode doing what he does for most of the week: distracting himself from the mess at home, and observing the Gems as they deal with Pearl’s actions without much interference. He’s not Amethyst, trying to make the peace or consoling his friends. Maybe one day he will be, but for now he’s a child, and it’s incredibly unfair to expect a child to act as a mediator between arguing parents.

Instead, all he can do is get upset, and at his breaking point he wonders aloud if mom and mom are fighting because of him. Logically, this is an absurd assumption: he saw what Pearl did and knew it was wrong, and Pearl is clearly who Ruby and Sapphire are arguing about. At no point does Ruby or Sapphire bring him into the conflict by accusing him of taking a side or getting mad at him for not backing them up. But when you’re stressed and confused by clashing parents, logic takes a backseat to emotion. Self-blame is a tried-and-true method of tricking yourself into thinking you have control over a situation that’s out of your hands: it sucks when something’s your fault, but it sucks even more to be powerless.

Unfortunately it’s a coping mechanism that Steven will learn too well when he takes the weight of his mother’s sins on his shoulders, but for now it doesn’t take long for his unwarranted guilt to crack Sapphire’s icy front. This turning point is definitely Steven’s biggest contribution to the week, because nobody else was in a position to move things forward. Ruby and Sapphire’s impasse was based on them each being so used to, and annoyed by, their reactions to upsetting situations. 

Sapphire internalizes her emotions with the knowledge that things will resolve, and Ruby lashes out at everything like an eternal flame, baby. Neither is willing to show the vulnerability necessary to let down their defenses and talk things out, and both are stubborn enough for a feud to last for who knows how long: this is unstoppable force/immovable object territory. So just by expressing the emotional turmoil of a kid in a breaking home, Steven saves the day. And the show doesn’t even feel the need to verbalize that subtext, even though Greg is around and he loves doing that. Way to go, Keystone Motel.

Speaking of Greg, this may be his greatest episode as a side character. The distinction between being a main character or a side character is admittedly nebulous at times—for instance, which is he in Winter Forecast or Steven’s Birthday?—but here he’s a driving force (literally) who graciously cedes the spotlight to our leads, even though he’s killing it on the comedy front. From casually instructing Steven to call the police if his internet deal goes south to waxing poetic about pizza, his humor is grounded in his core dadness in a way that’s as funny as it is endearing. How great is his hyping up of motels and wanting to spend time with his son on a boring business trip? He’s just the sweetest.

And on top of his daditude, this episode gives us two great insights into Greg’s life outside of Steven. The first is the catalyst for the road trip in the first place: his need for cheap equipment for the car wash. We don’t focus on money much in Steven Universe until Greg hits it rich, but there’s a clear sense of financial hardship to a guy who lives in a van working at a car wash where business always seems slow. And while it’s never stated that he’s Steven’s sole financial provider, who else is getting this kid food and clothes? I love seeing the scrappy side of him that he largely hides from Steven (and thus us), and his chill attitude in poverty pays off in a big way when he’s just as chill with his sudden wealth.

The second is his brilliant reaction to seeing Sapphire: a weary “Oh boy, where’s the other one?” It helps that Tom Scharpling is so good at encapsulating Greg’s quintessential “oh boy” approach to conflict, but after We Need to Talk it’s another small reminder that Greg has a history with the Crystal Gems independent of Steven. Of course he already knows about Ruby and Sapphire.

I mentioned Charlyne Yi earlier, but oh my goodness is she amazing. I know I already compared Ruby to Daffy Duck in my Jailbreak review, but it’s honestly the highest compliment I can give: she’s frustration personified, and almost every frame where she’s not exploding is spent winding herself up to explode. Yi is everything to this character, starting at a fever pitch and maintaining a sputtering episode-long tirade without missing a beat. Look at those Rebecca Sugar sketches of Ruby: they’re based directly off of Yi’s physical performance while voice acting, which in turn directly influenced the animation: 

Holy crow does this woman commit. Deedee Magno Hall might be my overall voice actor MVP for the show, but maybe the only thing stopping Charlyne Yi from taking the throne is Ruby and the rubies’ infrequent appearances. 

Which is hardly to take away from Erica Luttrell, whose deep, slow serenity makes for Yi’s ideal counterpart. Like I said, it’s wonderful to see more of Sapphire than the blip we got in Jailbreak, and Luttrell terrifically conveys the emotions seething behind Sapphire’s icy exterior. Here, it’s all in the pauses, the perfectly uncomfortable moments as she works to keep her cool: it’s most notable in her frozen “I’m...fine” as ice tightens behind her.

(Fun fact: when Luttrell was a kid, she was the voice of Keesha on Magic School Bus, and when I was a kid, I loved Magic School Bus, so it was a delightful thing to learn.)

Although Garnet is obviously a blend of both Gems, we see far more patience than fury from her. So while Ruby’s a bunch of fun to watch (particularly as she rambles her way into the pool), the challenge is differentiating Sapphire from that other calm, collected, authoritative, and distant Gem with future vision and a deep voice and hidden eyes. The solution is to make her a bit too in touch with that future vision, and I love how it’s used for both humor and drama to showcase just how vital it is for Sapphire, and thus how important Ruby is at grounding her in the present.

The resolution of their argument is essentially Sapphire remembering this, and in doing so, Ruby finally cools down. Unfortunately her idea of cooling down involves putting herself down; just like in Jailbreak, she sees herself as worthless compared to Sapphire, which the latter thankfully disagrees with. The root of Ruby’s deep-set insecurities might not get explained until The Answer, but there’s a clear lived-in dynamic between these two that there really needs to be for the whole “fused together for thousands of years” relationship to make sense.

Finally, even if they’re short on screentime and Michaela Dietzes, Pearl and Amethyst leave a huge impression in this episode. Pearl’s in full manic mode, which is exactly where she should be, and I love the quiet scene of Amethyst consoling her as Steven comes back in. Garnet deserves to be the main focus of Cry for Help’s immediate fallout, but these two are still a major factor that shouldn’t be forgotten.

This isn’t a perfect episode. It might sound like a nitpick, but it bugs the hell out of me that the motel and diner are totally empty minus one waitress, especially when so much care was put into these new sets (although I do realize that the time spent on these new sets is likely why we don’t get new character models). It takes me right out of the critical diner scene every time I watch it to be reminded of the constraints of animation, which is a bummer on a show that’s so good at not doing that.

Still, our journey to the Keystone State (by which I of course mean the state named Keystone) is an important success. Time limitations often make arguments in episodic media pretty simple, but here we slow down to tackle the consequences of Cry for Help on multiple fronts: to even begin considering forgiveness, Ruby and Sapphire have to process their emotions after being betrayed. It’s a risky move, especially given how new these characters are, but it pays off in a way that deepens Garnet and the show as a whole.

Future Vision!

Mr. Greg, of all episodes, is a great follow-up to this adventure of Steven, Greg, and another Gem traveling to another state, staying in a rented room, and resolving tension between the two parent figures. Going to a hotel and rolling in money is nice, but it’s even better when juxtaposed against going to a motel and working to make ends meet.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Even if it sucks that Ruby and Sapphire go on a break, I can’t say I’m unhappy to see them. While it’s not all that rewatchable for me given it’s in the middle of a pretty unpleasant Bomb, execution and tone go a long way. 

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

Chille Tid

Keeping It Together

On the Run

Warp Tour

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

The Test

Future Vision

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

     4. Horror Club      3. Fusion Cuisine      2. House Guest      1. Island Adventure

(Like Keeping It Together, no official promo for this one. This time I’m going with the brilliant imamong, whose title cards for Steven Universe astound and amaze.)

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters Eleven and Twelve

Chapter Eleven – The Rift

Oh no the Blackthorn has Plate now. As if he weren't an unstoppable juggernaut already.

….of course he kicked the guy off a cliff. That's just as Extra ™ as I should have expected from him.

Calm? Calm? Gavilar's right, Sadeas, there's something of that chained axehound in all the Kholins, apparent even down through to the next generation.

He's associating Shardplate-power with the Thrill, and I'm still not sure how accurate a comparison that may be, since it's not yet been revealed what exactly the Plate is (though I am particular to the Shardplate-is-a-Radiant's-manifested-spiritweb theory)

With Dalinar like he is now, it's no wonder Navani turned him down in favor of Gavilar. Presenting him as a respectable arranged-marriage partner would be difficult even with the benefit of alliances and rank he'd bring! Still, his single-ness is a bargaining chip for Gavilar to use as best he can…

“Fuck off, I'm the barbarian, you're the Face, do your damn job and don't expect me to pull good Charisma rolls.”

Drunk during battle briefings? Of all the times I expected young!Dalinar to be sober, that was highest on the list. If I wasn't all but certain before that he'd been an alcoholic, that'd definitely be another point in favour.

Aaaaand, there goes Gavilar. Sadeas, somehow you are the Only Sane Man in this group. The other two… well, they're Kholins.

This scene is beautifully visible in the mind's eye - Dalinar dodging ballista bolts, bounding and hefting himself up the wall, great swings unimpeded, the three of them cutting through the defending forces like axehounds through cremlings

Again, the Blackthorn is fucking terrifying

...and then lands smack on his Plated ass

And then resumes being utterly terrifying, now helped along by Sadeas' warhammer. If he'd had both that one and his own… I'm getting flashes of a scene somewhat akin to the suicide stand in Reinhart's backstory video, only with more wholesale slaughter.

How much impact can Shardplate take before cracking or shattering. BrandoSando I want numbers, graphs, tables, and indication if Radiant Plate is any more durable than 'standard' Plate.

“Who put chicken feathers on their helms?” Coming at that from an Earth perspective makes that line even funnier

Teleb! Ahhh, hearing about you now only makes me sadder that we lost you last book.

And there it is. Oathbringer.

Too bad that Dalinar's an unstoppable force, and you sir, are no immovable object.

(!!! canon delineation of accents in the Alethi regions! EEEE)

Tanalan's got a point, Dalinar. You take care to trample and destroy and leave behind a smoking ruin. Right now, you really are monstrous.

Covered in blood and cracked armor, eyes lit by the Thrill, a vision of death incarnate.

The boy. Does he haunt your nightmares, Dalinar?

Kadash. Is this the battle that broke his resolve as a soldier?After what we've read, I can't fault him in the slightest. That wasn't just a massacre, it was destruction. Still, it seems pretty par for the course for Gavilar's forces. And he didn't seem overly bothered? But I thought he said he left after the battle at the Rift...

Shame? You manage to feel that, now that the Thrill's worn off? What part of that bloody day managed to pierce a sliver of regret into your heart?

Gavilar at least is less bloodthirsty, though was he ever as bad as you?

Oathbringer was the Sunmaker's? WUT

I already have What Did You Do in the War, Dad? on a Kholin playlist and suddenly it's become just that much more relevant with that last line of the chapter.

Chapter Twelve – Negotiations

It must be such a tiny yet strange shift in perspective, having never known windows facing east before.

COME ON STORMFATHER ANSWER THE QUESTION. WHAT HAPPENED AT THE RECREANCE.

….okay, yeah, that was a stinging comeback, granted.

The emperor? OOH DO WE GET TO SEE GAWX AGAIN. LIFT?

Oooo, a meeting chamber that was designed to accommodate the spren as well? Ahhhh, that's too cool! And it means the old Orders must have been able to see each others' spren? Tbh I can't imagine Syl sitting still on one of those pedestals for more than two seconds

Navani with her shoes off

GAAAAWX

Actually, the Azish government is sort of the opposite of a mess, Dalinar – they just love their paperwork and red tape. Alethkar's barely-monarchy with its divided association of warlords who somehow deign to work together even part of the time? Now that's a mess.

I'm happy that Dalinar's finding love again. It's so strange to see the juxtaposition between him now and the younger him that Navani turned down (and we can all see why).

“Highness” - that's the first time we've heard that title here, isn't it? I'm so used to “Brightness” and “Brightlord” now that it stands out as odd.

Oh Dalinar, you're as bad as Adolin – far too straightforward and Not Here for roundabout conversation when you're trying to make a point. Really though, did you just expect the Emperor of Azir to come out to this “ancient and beautiful city” and out of the seat of his power with all this turmoil going on? At the invite of an Alethi warlord? Honestly.

Negotiating? So… are the parshmen there controlled by Odium or not…?

This is sheer Azish polite deflection against Alethi arrogance and it's great

Dalinar is ready to flip a goddamn table, he's just not made for politicking

I LOVE THE THAYLEN QUEEN ALREADY

Hah, she knows you, Dalinar, that much is obvious. “you old brute. Quit spreading chull scat.” indeed.

“Her Majesty seems to be having a bad day.” and apparently speaks entirely in Snark when that happens.

Stole their ships? Stole their ships? The parshmen knew how to sail and apply that sailing knowledge? Yeah, no fucking kidding you don't know near enough about these Voidbringers

“We speak again their ancient oaths, and bind the Surges of nature to us.” - aka we have powers now and they involve bending physics to out will, so You Will Listen. [sighs] Talk about a warlord Highprince through and through…

Oooo, are you thinking of giving someone the Honorblade, Dals?

That's either an excellent idea or a fucking terrible one.

Well, that went about as well as it could have. Dalinar may have been holding out hope that the monarchs would be immediately willing to come to his side, or at least meet with him, but there's no way that was going to happen so early.

[winces] Oh, Elhokar, lurking around like you've been banished from your own throne room…

Which is entirely the point. This conversation has been a long time in coming.

“Perhaps… perhaps I'm a fine king.” !!! That is more than I ever expected Elhokar to say out loud, especially after that conversation with Kaladin in the last book! And he's still going, on a roll, what's he-

…..well then

This is actually a very reasonable arrangement. Dalinar is going to need an authority separate from Alethkar, especially if he's going to be ordering (or trying to order) the monarchs of all the other kingdoms around like he does Elhokar. It's a whole new level of organization, a global one, and that necessitates a new station.

Dalinar, Highking of Urithiru and the Shattered Plains

Oh thank the Heralds and Elhokar's sense, they're finally going to find out what's happening in Kholinar!

RADIANT STRIKE TEAM. I nominate Shallan and Renarin.

Ahhh, he gets gloryspen, Elhokar needed this. It's a weight off of his shoulders, a relief to finally confront Dalinar about this, and then he gets to go and do what he believes a king should, after all this time feeling usurped. He so very needed this.

“The hero, preferably.” ELHOKAR, YOU FANBOY

Dalinar is confused and oblivious and Elhokar is crushing on Kaladin so hard

So hard

Elhokar you are not straight at all

HOLY SHIT ANOTHER RADIANT?! WITH TARAVANGIAN?!

Dalinar. Dalinar, your shitty Insight roll is failing you yet again.

[siverwrites]

           send me a ship and I'll tell you...

I am 100% self-indulging and want to ramble about my trio hush.

who is more likely to hurt the other? Physically: None unless there’s an accident or Alma slaps one of them for being an idiot.

Emotionally: Jowd. Not EXACTLY sensitive.

Cabanela: He knows Cabanela best past shiny shields of flamboyance. If he wanted to, to push him away or something he’d know how to get to him. (And I kind of wish I’d kept this in mind when writing Cabanela questioning him which was causing me a lot of trouble anyway...)

Also hurt him by virtue of shutting him out.

Only under specific set of circumstances for this to happen buuut there we go.

Alma: Less likely to happen with Alma though avoidance and shying away when clearly hurting can hurt. So goddamnit Jowd, you’re lucky they love you.

who is emotionally stronger? OH BOY! Emotions!

Alma. Alma the stabilizing force or attempts to be - it’s a hell of a job - and the one most likely to try to deal with things earlier rather than later. Generally healthier about handling things. 

Cabanela and Jowd on the other hand... both repressed balls of joy! Still, Cabanela comes second. We know how well Jowd handles things. Cabanela is more likely to eventually get things out - taking longer than he should if it’s severe then we get to safe mode Cabanela and etc - and will get there with less prodding than Jowd - and then bounce back. In general he bounces back more easily.

Jowd just... Jowds on. Deal with things in a healthy manner??

I like to imagine in a post-game scenario in which time doesn’t reset that Jowd would be awkward and avoidant and in general completely at a loss as to how to actually handle things. And having to process that Cabanela and Lynne were working on his behalf and still care about him and error error. Okay that all applies in canon ending as well, though a difference in that Cabanela knows everything too... But for Cabanela below:

Once things normalized after recovery and getting Jowd’s life back in order Cabanela would completely break down under the weight of everything he repressed for five years to focus on Jowd. One sobbing Cabanela all over Jowd or on his floor for Jowd to awkwardly hug and not know what to do with beyond that (the hug’s enough). But then he’d be okay once he got that all out. And getting things out is the healthy thing to do, Jowd.

Cabanela is better at doing what needs to be done despite emotions possibly getting in the way although you could argue he’s fueled by anyway - with Jowd being his motivator. So he’s got control and will display (when he thinks he can). Except then it circles back around to just pushing aside and repressing sooo back to unhealthy.

Under more normal circumstances I imagine Cabanela being better at handling things anyway though that’s not saying much.

But Alma wins hands down in any sense.

who is physically stronger? Jowd for sure. And I like to imagine he’s probably had to overpower Cabanela a few times to keep him from doing something he shouldn’t.

who is more likely to break a bone? Cabanela, oh he of flinging himself into everything. And he has had broken bones before so... yay canon?

who knows best what to say to upset the other? I kind of want to say all three; they all know each other well enough that they’d know how to twist the knife. Jowd is most likely do so depending on the situation though. Talked about this already in first question. Not really Cabanela’s style and while Alma may have ideas on how to wrench the boxes open she’s not going to usually want to upset them, though things could slip in a really heated argument but she’d feel bad and make it up to them.  who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? Probably whoever started it. Alma followed by Cabanela who might be more rapid about it than a certain other someone to get the whole thing out of the way and move on. Any apology from either Cabanela or Jowd doesn’t tend to look like a standard apology but they understand each other. who treats who’s wounds more often? Exasperated Jowd by virtue of Cabanela getting banged up more often. Alma wouldn’t mind doing so but Jowd has more first aid knowledge and experience.

who is in constant need of comfort? Jooowd? But good luck ever getting an admission of that. Go by the signs and do the comforting anyway. More relevant to post game. who gets more jealous? Uhhhh. None feel like the jealous type. Closest you might get is OT3 situation of Cabanela being envious of Jowd and Alma but quietly stepping aside. Until they yank him in you silly Cabs you

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? I mean. Jowd walked out on everyone depending on meaning here. But aside from THAT situation I don’t know.

If we just want to go the route of a bad fight but no permanent leaving Jowd shuts down. Alma bounces off his walls then will stay but go quiet as well. Cabanela might leave temporarily in a furious huff to go settle before going back especially if Jowd is being a stubborn wall of getting nowhere. Alma prefers to deal with things as quickly as possible.

Alma and Cabanela fights are especially rare and more loudly explosive but more quickly resolved and neither are likely to leave.

who will propose? Alma proposed to Jowd. Jowd had plans to, but Alma beat him to it.

Cabanela gets all don’t intrude, step aside, so Alma and Jowd joint propose and I may have written that before cough.

who has the most difficult parents? Gotta wonder about who spawns a Cabanela. But I have thought of Alma coming from a fairly wealthy family and a family member not entirely approving of marrying some detective.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? Alma and Cabanela

who comes up for the other all the time? ?? Still don’t know what this means.

who hogs the blankets? Cabanela and Alma rival each other but Cabanela is a bed hog. Spraaawl. Gotta put those legs somewhere. Despite Jowd being like 2 Cabanelas wide. Jowd can only suffer. who gets more sad? Jowd if post-game but attempts with varying success to not show it. Alma gets the most obviously sad. It’s very hard to bring Cabanela down

who is better at cheering the other up? Alma is best at actually getting some conversation going and she will care for and possibly has some bad humour of her own to slip in if the situation warrants it. She will also supply the comfort drinks, hugs, quiet time whatever is needed.

Jowd is good at calming Cabanela down. Between those two in particular not sure. I kind of want to say Jowd is better at cheering him up than Cabanela is at Jowd, but only because Cabanela would be easier to pull out of the dumps genuinely so. Success with Jowd sometimes looks to happen but would really just be Jowd being Jowd - depending on how on serious things are. Cabanela’s sheer optimism meets the wall of pessimism and we get unstoppable force meeting immovable object. ( Honestly I feel like that phrase sums them up.)

Jowd wins second only by being far more difficult to deal with than Cabanela.

On the other hand Jowd’s own um... comments would work against him but Cabanela and Alma know he’s trying and depending on what’s said may be amused.

Alma’s pretty good with both, Cabanela being easier. Jowd is good at Cabanela. Both struggle with Jowd because he’s impossible.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes? Cabanela wonders how he got both of them.

who is more streetwise? Cabanela and Jowd

who is more wise? Alma followed by Jooowd...? Unless we’re getting into certain situations of shove self in jail and chase everyone off.

who’s the shyest? Jowd. Alma’s pretty outgoing and friendly. Does Cabanela know the meaning of shy?

who boasts about the other more? Cabanela. Jowd and Alma know Cabanela most definitely does not need an ego boost. Not that Jowd does, but Cabanela can’t help it. Alma quietly prides in them.

who sits on who’s lap? Alma sits on Jowd. Cabanela sits on Jowd. Jowds are comfy.

Alma and Cabanela lean all over each other in a tangle of too many long limbs.

[kosmiklove]

I'm dying, Kay, truly. Kaezlo will kill me. But tell me: What's the relationship between Kal and Kylo like? How do they "get along"? What was the catalyst to them pairing up in the first place? They obviously have similar tastes in certain 'lovers', but do they share any other common interests? Are their conflicting personality types difficult to work with, or does it make their dynamic more interesting in the long run? I am dying.

The relationship between Kal and Kylo is sort of… complicated. I mean this as in, Kal is a person who does not let bullshit slide without comment, and Kylo is a heaping pile of bullshit. They’re opposites. Where Kylo is someone who came from a loving family and chose to leave, Kal is someone who’s family neglected him because of his sister and still struggles with this. What do they have in common? Well, they both left. They both wanted to make something of themselves, for themselves. And yes, they have different reasonings, and yea, way different approaches to life, but they can see that same drive to do something in each other. They can see how lost the other is, in reality. 

how DO they get along?????? Because Kal’s thoughts are never pulling punches, and Kylo can hear them. In fact, despite how harsh and blunt Kal’s thoughts on Kylo are, the Knight tends to appreciate the fact that they’re always entirely truthful. In fact, in my mind Kylo finds it sort of refreshing that Kalduur is completely unable to put him on a pedestal, or pull any punches. Kal isn’t afraid of Kylo, he knows he’s powerful, he knows he’s killed, he knows that he’s ranked pretty high up there. In fact, for all intents and purposes Kal should be afraid of Kylo but the Sakroemi really just can’t get past the fact that when he’s upset the man throws tantrums and breaks things. Kal’s like “how old are we again?”. He’s very dismissive and unimpressed. which. really. isn’t a healthy set up, but I’m sure they get better. Because Kylo pauses and goes “you know what-” and then they’re bickering, so. *shrugs*

The catalyst, quite frankly, was that Kal is a raging horn dog. I’m serious. If you aren’t in a relationship and you’re on the Finalizer, Kal has been with you. It might have only been a blowjob, it might have only been a quick bang in a broom closet on level four, but he’s done it. And if you’re down, he’ll do it again. This is how Kal gains his information. He knows secrets about a ton of people, learned from the technicians and security that no one really talks to, the troopers behind the video cameras, the guys who have to do the filing and double check that things are there. Kal is their favorite person, becuase he makes them feel good and praises them for jobs that are generally unappreciated. And yeah, he has a great body and his mouth, ass, and pussy can make any person quake once inside him. And one of those people happened to be Kylo. Kal was generally like “let’s see what all the hype is about” and like tall strong men just as much as anyone, so he was down. so down. Kylo happened to also be down. That’s how that happened :P. Now and then their bickering will turn into a fun little anger fuck where Kylo takes out his frustrations and Kal tries to act unimpressed afterward, but is really unable to feel his legs. It’s a mutually beneficial partnership for what it is.

Kal and Kylo do share a love of Caez, that’s for sure, but anything else? Well… I like to believe that they’re both also adrenaline junkies. They’ll both do stupid things when they get emotional, and will do what they believe is necessary if need be. They’re also similar in the way that they care for others sort of oddly. Like, for example, rather than stop Rhell from drinking, Kal just started replacing her alcohol with juice, and she didn’t notice for a while there. This is the same sort of caring thing I think Kylo would do, probably. Honestly other than that I haven’t thought about it enough.

I honestly think their difference in personality is what makes them interesting. It’s very Unstoppable Force Meets Immovable Object. Kylo finds himself trusting Kal’s judgment on things becuase Kal is always 100% honest when it comes to how he feels. It’s something he can logically follow. Kal is also kind of used to Kylo’s presence in his head by now, because the dude is just invasive and smothering when it comes to that. Kal is someone who refuses to be bullied into feeling any type of way, and Kylo is, with his knee jerk reactions, a bully. Together they sort of balance each other out? 

really I gotta work on this dynamic more, Chris. I hope this wasn’t too disappointing