#how am i even functioning
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Today has been terrible, i just wanna go home 🫠🫠🫠
#tenebra rambles#i am so tired#and dehydrated#and hungry#i only managed to chug down a protein shake 1 hour ago#been on empty stomach since 9 am today#how am i even functioning
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regretting abandoning american gods halfway thru in favor of reading good omens bc i have no self control BUT ALSO absolutely freaking out and loving good omens and dying over how much of the dialogue is word for word and also dying over spotting what little things are different and analyzing why they might have changed it for the show i adore consuming the same story in multiple forms of media so much
#good omens#i really thought the brainrot would have at least lessened by now#but we are still going so strong#like. i am spending most of my day panicking about the classes i’m taking#and at the same time spending every waking moment thinking abt these gay idiots#how am i even functioning
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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On a semi related note the more I am subjected to Microsoft products the more I become convinced that the reason so many people these days believe themselves to be “bad with computers” is that the programs they are forced to use in their professional life are utterly incomprehensible to ANY rational human being and they are (rightfully enough) extrapolating out that this is just how computers are. They aren't!!! In their quest to remove all the “scary” details from their poor fragile end users Microsoft have created an ecosystem that behaves completely erratically and unpredictably and is by definition unknowable. Things just happen. Then they stop happening. Nothing ever announces why or how. Just a thousand vague and useless popups that may or may not be there tomorrow. I PROMISE computers are actually extremely simple and logical beasts.
#brain.txt#the biggest barrier to widespread linux adoption is the fear of learning something new and i get it i really do#when youre at zero knowledge and dont even know where to begin its completely overwhelming and so much easier to stick with what you know#but the problem is no one ever really knows windows#youre sharing your room with a wild animal#you believe you know its mannerisms well enough to know when it is hungry and what it likes and dislikes but one day it might lash out#and there will be no way of ever knowing why#with open source software the only barrier to knowledge is how far you want your own curiosity to carry you at present#and yeah! ill readily admit!! theres plenty of components of my system i dont know too much about right now#but i feel inherently less lost and helpless knowing that the information is out there and i am actually capable of reading it#instead of someone actively obfuscating all possible attempts at understanding and also constantly changing everything from under me#(i have never owned a mac in my life so idk whats going on over there but my general impression seems to be that mac at least gets the whole#walled garden thing right in the sense that it is a cohesive and functional experience despite being extremely locked in. which i have more#respect for as a solution i am not interested in but i can see the appeal of rather than the FUCKING DISASTER microsoft has unleashed)
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You know in retrospect I now understand my parents concern when I, 22 and fresh out of college told them me and my long term boyfriend (now spouse) were going to buy his childhood home, an unmaintained 70s chalet style house they thought was a tear down. But it worked out and I love this property dearly.
(Also they rediscovered a childhood time capsule I made that was rolled up paper stuffed into a toilet paper tube and it DID say I was going to live in a old house in the woods with sled dogs so idk. Live ur dreams)
#not dogs#house stuff#I am so glad that they let me do my thing and that it worked out#but being in my 30s now and looking back on it I do understand how coo coo crazy this sounded#keep in mind this house had a roof that had never been replaced when we moved in#and every morning and every evening we’d have to clean up asphalt shingles from the yard lol#and lived with my mother in law two years renovating it to a state where it could even be sold to us#I am very lucky#but also a lot of it was kinda white knuckling through it#10 years later I finally have two fully functioning bathrooms!#renovating takes a long time when you have average money#and sometimes no money#I’ve been unemployed way too many times during this process than I care to admit#so things would start and then stall
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my thoughts on Conclave are like. I have never been religious and know very little about the catholic church and how it Works, but this movie clearly has Something To Say about women in the church and I thought it was very compelling and effective. like, through framing and dialogue we are told that women are absolutely vital to the workings of the conclave and should have a more central role, and then are further told that most fit man to lead the church, the one who the conclave is moved by their faith to elect, is not only a man who respects and appreciates and embraces women, but a man who essentially physically contains womanhood inside of himself, for lack of better phrasing
#conclave#like my takeaway was#big neon sign saying THE ONLY WAY TO MOVE THE CHURCH FORWARD IS TO GIVE WOMEN A MORE CENTRAL ROLE PERHAPS EVEN AS THE POPE#again. speaking as someone who doesn't know shit about how any church works.#now to be clear i would not generally describe an intersex person as 'containing womanhood inside them' or something like that#i am not saying that as a way to speak literally about intersex and trans folks#but it is one way that benitez being intersex is functioning symbolically within the film#in addition to the existing between certainties as he says#r.txt#posted basically this on letterboxd but it feels more like a tumblr post
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sick(?)
#messyr#doodle#vent art#?? well not really! just skl#coping through drawing bc its what keeps me from rotting in bed#my body cant keep up fjdshzhl and i just feel worse every time i try to 'function' even as basic tasks it makes me want to throw up AAAAH#this artist does not KNOW how to take care of themselves help help help help fsdjxhf#how am i supposed to fkin tell my dad nor my relatives im just so- PHYSICALLY- and MENTALLY TIRED without it perceived as lazy or an excuse#same goes to my professors bc ive been missing out ALOT in school lately and my classmates are also probably wondering where the hell I am#( group activities etc etc i want to km s - I've failed TWO MAJOR SUBJECTS BC OF HOW IVE BEEN DOING-AAAAAAAAAH)#if not physically then its my noisy ass brain that spirals me into depressive episodes where I literally cant do jackshit about
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something about un-roamed paths idk

#good mroning 5 30 am#stayed up because of this and then ninja turtles u know how it is#chonny jash#angelo tag#chat i dont like this very much ToT#i think#hey at least its done!#proud of myself for not making it another abandoned drawing#anyways#i know i absolutely cannot function without sleep and yet here i am#i used to be able to stay up all night what happened#i hear the birds#help#i feel myself slowly losing hp#imagine those minecraft noises when u take damage#auff#wait does steve even make those noises anymore?#like the oof oof sounds#didnt they change that#imma draft this then check hold on#wtf they did how did i forget#nevermind then
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Reading TGCF: Chapter 94

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

phew! Glad to be back at my hotel today; it's been busy! I've been clocking those steps; currently sitting at 9.14 Km and I sure hope this is the end of it for today because I have three more days to go lol that are equally or more busy.
Tonight I read and chill with a banger of a bahn mi and some white tea :)
Let's get into chapter 94!


omg don't hurt me like this! I'll be so sad if Lang Ying isn't real :( p97
oh. It's worse. He (white no face) devoured Lang Ying :((( I hate White No Face :(((((((((((((( p98
What an exit though! White No Face stirred the pot of insecurities and then left the situation with an avalanche. pp99-100
omg. This guy is about to get even stronger too!? Hualian better handle this! p101
KISS! KISS! KISS! p101
Also I am stressed. I thought only 1 person could come out of the kiln. wtf does it mean if if they both go in?? p101
Oh sweet flustered baby! We've got a blue screening Xie Lian p103
omg no. Xie Lian immediately lost Hua Cheng and ran into White No Face! pp104-105
Okay- at least Hua Cheng isn't in the kiln. But wtf is this ghost (white no face)!? p107
OMG NO! White No Face wants Xie Lian to become a supreme?!?!?!?!?!?!? S T R E S S E D! p109
What an arc
okay so this arc is done but y'all. I am not emotionally prepared for this next part :((((((((((((((( Truly I feel like it's just going to be trauma and pain for Xie Lian :((((((((
#bloopitynoot reads tgcf#tgcf mxtx#tgcf spoilers#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#mxtx#xie lian#white no face#hua cheng#pls send help this is STRESS#I cannot even quantify how worried I am#I hope he comes out of this functional :((
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“Scars,” Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu, (Vol. 2/2024), #5.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Devmalya Pramanik; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu vol. 2#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu 2024#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Khonshu#Stained Glass Scarlet mentioned whooooo#And even a reference to the Bemis run that’s wild#but mainly I’m distracted by how as per always Khonshu manages to be functionally the worst#like I know he’s a god and Marc’s his follower but the blatantly controlling behavior just gives me all the more reason#to loathe Khonshu (which is probably the author’s intent hahaha in which case it’s effective)#in other news I am also wondering where they got all these spectators from#like are they all with Fairchild????
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amazing stream never gonna shut up about this drawing love wins happy yaoimass all that
also heere is my pixmix this post will be there soon
#how TF am i just meant to like be normal tmr#like I have to GO TO CLASS AND LIKE FUNCTION AND DO WORK#i need like i dont even know how long i need#also pls follow me on pix mix its where i do my best works#pix mix nation RISE UP#gravity falls#gravity falls fandom#stanford pines#gravity falls stanford#bill cipher#gravity falls bill#gravity falls bill cipher#billford#bill cipher x ford#pixmix
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If anyone has any pictures of pets or plants that they’re willing to share with me, I could really use them today
#rae irl#my anxiety is so high i don’t even know how im functioning tbh#on top of election stuff i also had something else happen this morning that freaked me out#so i am a ball made of stress
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the more my brain turns the goddamn natlan rewrite over the more questions i have about the canon plot please i thought i wouldn't need to consider the canon plot (of natlan) yet here i am
#like why did capitano fight mavuika. what was the thought process. like- lore-wise#also if the brainrot gets worse how am i even supposed to get any of this out to you guys (the ones who sabotaged the prayer circle)#like yea sure i can make a fic of the actual archon quest#but where do i put all the context and thoughts behind it#tumblr??? with its phenomenal writing interface and even better archiving properties and blog search function??#am i gonna have to learn how to use carrd#or make a godforsaken youtube channel#2hr long natlan rewrite like i'm from the mlb fandom#i hate that it would probably work#natlan archon quest recap except i'm recapping a fanfic#what would i even call it nothing in my name works for this#trash natlan sounds like dogshit. so does natlan sprinkles. natlancan? that could work
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I've moved and want to get a library card, but my id doesn't have my current address and no mail has my name. Do I just have to wait
According to two of my local libraries' websites, they would also accept other proofs of address such as bank statements, utility bills, or rent/mortgage receipts.
That might not be universal though, so I would suggest getting in contact with your library or checking their website to get a more definite answer for you.
#i am always very happy to point people towards things but please remember i am neither an expert nor a librarian#and even if i find an answer it is not guaranteed it'll be the same at your library#so if you have a question specific to how your library functions youll probably get a quicker and better answer asking the library first ^^
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game dev is such an alluring thing to try to do bc its a kind of media that allows for such an active and direct way to interact with others like most things just dont
im still dreaming of trying it every now and again but, among my other problems, i run into the more unique problem of .. not knowing or not wanting to start bc i cant find tutorials that teach me about how i structure code, where do i begin, where does a script go, what makes sense to seperate into its own piece of code and what should stay together, what do i do first?? i have found ones that teach you about single things but never really how to structure it all, how it should look like as a whole, and idk what mental wall i run into but i need to know before i can even try!! its the not knowing where to start that keeps blocking me bc i dont want to make a mess, i am very chaotic and code is something hard to get right and hard to untangle so i dont want to just .. do stuff that wont work
#ganondoodles talks#personal#also if anything id want to use godot since that is an open source engine but its even harder to find anything there#maybe im not lookign at the right things#................ if could write well i could at least write some things while i cant draw#but i cant seem to be able to do anything but waste away and its infuriating#my writings gotten just as bad and messy as my art and im just#so fucking sick of it all#cant i just work for once- cant i just be functional for ONCE cant i just FUCKING enjoy doing things again for ONCE in months#im promising you im trying so hard to let go of all pressure but it just wont work regardless#i just keep doing very wrong looking shitty sketches of a vague horse shape and even that is like BOOM battery out goodnight#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#when i do pixel art i start to think about coding and how to make thigns work and what is even possible to make at all#then wondering if any effort put inot it is even worth it if its not doable for me or at all#when i listen to toby foxs music i want to try it so bad too but im a noob at everything#if i cant put in the effort to DRAW -somethign i have been doing sicne being able to hold a pencil- then how can i learn literally anything#i know brains need new stuff and need to learn new things but i am so incapable of even trying even though i want to#its that god dman clash of two sides- unlimited passion and need and want and an absolute blockage of fearing to waste time#i probably suck at everything i want to try but how will i know if i dont try it seriously at least a few times im hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrr
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thinking about how cut off tko is from forming even a vaguely normal relationship with people
#insane 50000 page essay in tags warning.#in his first appearence he only reacts violently when rad and enid overstep his boundaries#(in defense of rad and enid and everyone else they did not know what was going on and were doing their best)#tko reacts not ideally. and because he has the ability to he wrecks everything -> gives the impression that this kid is hecking evil#dont give a nuke to a kid with anger issues..#and it leads to him getting totally isolated- which again fair. and completely justified in the pov of other people#but it just results in him getting alienated more with no way to learn how to regulate his emotions#and people only see him when he's mad as hell and wreaking havoc which. Bad impression every time.#like how do you fix this#i think tko wouldve probably been treated better had he not been stupidly op#ALSOOO. I HATE THAT LFTTE JUST. FUNCTIONALLY CEMENTED EVERYONE'S PERCEPTION OF TKO AS 'EVIL MANIAC WHO KILLED EVERYONE'#WITH NO CHANCE FOR HIM TO EVER CHANGE THAT BECAUSE. MKO#like. who is left to apologise?? and who do you forgive ???#of course when mko says anything (doubtful. i bet it was a traumatic experience for him) theyll say “oh its fine that was tko's fault”#how do you. Explain. when all they know about tko is that he's evil. would you even want to explain#i am way too invested in the side character that was functionally not meant to be more than the main character's plot development device#cries and explodes into a pile of very sad confetti#incoherent ramblings#everyone else in the ok ko universe get the most satisfying and well-written endings ever and then there's my favorite character
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