#ht . iv . — interaction

[text-doc-confess]

uhm confession i wanna make a text doctor but im scared and last time i tried it felt like being the new kid at a school and everyone was annoyed iwht me. some of ht e higher ups scare me frankly i just dont wanna dissapoint anyone

Ive been a part of this since 2021 and i was fairly young then but the text doctor community was a huge part of my life then and i looked up to it a lot.

Thank you text doctor community for preventing me from probably getting groomed because i was WAY too young to be on tumblr and if the community wasnt distracting me i definitely would have interacted with the wrong people

this is so interesting anon /gen

as someone who runs two text doc blogs: you belong here. there is no barrier to making art. just have fun

i remember having a convo with @the-arcade-doctor about how people feel intimidated by the existing lore and such and he said that is the exact OPPOSITE effect he wanted

🫂

[kanayatherainbowdrinker]

Happy New Year, Miss Maryam! Hope 2024 is filled with good things for you :D

--grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling happyTapirstudio [HT]-- GA: Thank You Tapir Your True Kindness Is Always Appreciated In Exceptional Quantities GA: Happy New Year ! GA: :' ) GA: I Too Hope Your New Sweep Is Filled With Just The Best Of Things To Come Quite Honestly GA: ... GA: I Would Also Like To Take A Moment To Update My Friends And Acquaintances On My Lifes Happenings GA: In One Week I Have The Most Spectacular Evening Planned With A Particular Special Someone GA: The Year To Come Will Certainly Be The Best One Of My Existence To Date GA: Ive Not Tired Nor Abandoned Blogging GA: I Simply Must Convert All My Build Grist Towards Other Tedious Endeavors To Navigate The Difficulties Of Capitalism GA: I Miss My Friends And Acquaintances On Here Immensely Ive Not Had Time To Message Or Interact Let Alone Put Effort Into Consistent Blogging As Of Late GA: I Put Exceptional Effort Into Blogging GA: The Numbers Of My Drafts Continues To Grow For When I Have Available Build Grist To Expend Here GA: Im Also Working On Documenting Dolorosas Tales With Redglare Such Fangtastical Romance GA: ... GA: ... GA: ... GA: Until That Time I Will Simply Be Lurking And Liking Time Permitting GA: Im Just A Message Away Everyone GA: ... GA: I Consider Anyone Ive Ever Interacted With Or Messaged A Handful Of Times An Acquaintance Or Perhaps A Friend So Dont Take It Personally If Im Not Following I Must Keep My Dash Small And Tailored Or Else The Horror Terrors Take Grasp Of Life GA: Thank You All For Reading And Happy New Year ! --grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling happyTapirstudio [HT]--

[professorxsmokesweed]

why the fuck did the writers have charles say the “they’re just following orders” line like why in the fuck would they make That Choice unless they’re trying to implicate erik is not wrong but then immediately after that they have charles get shot and have erik start his villain arc were they just trying to build sympathy for erik despite him being a “villain” cause it’s still stupid as fuck to have charles say that out loud. and also because the audience is supposed to side with charles in most situations/xmen media it doesnt have great ramifications!

cause that scene is supposed to show the divide between erik and charles and how they have different perspectives and we as an audience are not supposed to want erik to blow up the ships but the character we’re supposed to align with is saying stupid shit and i get that charles can’t actually truly calm him down for the plot to work so obviously he can’t say something that will help but why have him Quote That exactly of all of the things he could’ve said that wouldn’t help erik calm down like the solution to the “how do we make our radical villain seem sympathetic” is to have your less radical hero quote the nuremberg defense???? thats how you’re going to handle that??? and erik obviously condemns it when he says that hes had enough of that but it is going to fly over half of the younger audience and if we dig through fanfiction circa 2015ish you can tell it Absolutely Did

[unpeacefully]

tag dump ! 𝙎𝙖𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙖 𝙈𝙞𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡 .

[cloudysfluffs]

hellooo!! my name is cloudy (she/they) (adult), and this is my tkl blog!! <3

my main is @cloudyssskies​ and my art is @cloudysarts​ <3333 so if you see the first in ur notes thats me, and if you wanna look at my not tkl related art you can go to that blog!!

i take reqs for tkl art and tkl hcs!! i used to write fics but ive sorta lost my touch with it since its been so long </33. so dont be afraid to shoot me a request!! i LOVE getting them, even if i dont always do them :] if you’re curious what i take requests for, you can check my interest tab under the read more!!!

this is not a kink/fetish!!!!!!!!! do NOT interact if you like tckling in a sexual context, it makes me super uncomfortable!!!!!!!!!!!! it is a coping mechanism and just for fun!!!!!!!!!!!!

DNI if you are an nsfw blog, a terf, transmed, exclusionist, lgbt-phobic (including anti neos/zenos), discourse blogs, proshipper (meaning if you ship ANYTHING involving inc//est, pedo//phillia, ab//use WHATEVER, even if its an ‘au’ or ‘aged up’, or defend those who do), think RPF (real person fanfic) is ok, and pretty much anything else youd see in a typical dni. get off my blog!!!!!! zero tolerance policy!!!!!!! i check the blog of whoever interacts w my content and youll get blocked on sight!!!!!!! ||| every once and a while i post about how tkl drama is incredibly fucking stupid or generally shit on the community for being creeps (i do not interact with it and don’t consider myself a part of it) so if you dont wanna see that you can block the tag: ‘disc horse’

ANYWAYYYY, ive put a list of my interests under the read more!!!! in no particular order, my hyperfixations change rlly fast </3 feel free to send requests for anything you see on here :]

-under///tale

-delta///rune

-little sh///op of hor///rors

-the night///mare before christ///mas

-cor///pse bri///de

-rob///ots (the 2005 blue sky movie sdfjk)

-co///co

-le///go bat///man

-beetle///juice

-five nig///hts at fred///dys

-five nig///hts at fred///dys the MUSICAL (the ran///dom enco///unters one)

-the mark///iplier cinematic universe

-cath///erine: full///body

-wic///ked/the wiz///ard of oz

-the star///kid hatchet///field series 

-who fra///med roger rab///bit

-por///tal

-ha///lf li///fe

-spi///es are fore///ver

-mirac///ulous lady///bug (but i havent rlly been keeping up with the lore)

-hlv///rai

-sa///m and ma///x (all iterations except for the comics)

-ev///il de///ad (all three movies, all the old games, the musical, and MOST of the TV show B) havent seen the last season tho oops- also ive read like 3 of the comics hksdf)

-ml///p: fim

-gra///vity fa///lls

-the mo///nkey island franchise

-reg///ular sh///ow

-the o///wl ho///use

-dh///mis

-ri///ck and mo///rty

-adven///ture ti///me

-haz///bin ho///tel and hel///luva bo///ss (I THINK THESE SHOWS ARE OBJECTIVELY BAD AND I DO NOT LIKE/SUPPORT VIVZIEPOP)

[unpeacefully]

she couldn't help the small smile on her face or the scoff she gave when he said ' it was a pretty sweet gift right ' , " leave to you to say something DUMB like that during a time like this . " she said shaking her head . her eyes were trained on him trying to get a read on what was going on in his head , to say she was timid to trust any mannerisms he may drop was an understatement . she wanted to be that brave sister for not just sammy and bambi , but for connor as well . but it was difficult when she didn't fully understand everything that was going on . " you're a shit . " was all she said initially , of course she was going to worry about him he was a her brother despite everything and she was the annoying sister that chased after all her siblings with a first aid kit and a handful of well meaning sayings . " we'll figure it out , okay ? including where you're going to stay . "

𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓸𝓻

connor can feel the corners of his lips curl momentarily when the memory comes into mind, it– it was foggy at first but he still remembers it clear as day. “i panicked? i think.. if i.. remember it correctly, i was worried. worried because i thought you wouldn’t have liked just one, so i cleaned that store out of everything they had. in my defense, it.. it was a pretty sweet gift right?” nodding the more he thinks about it, just as he can feel his smile start to grow it fades and he feels that weight on his chest. the guilt running through him at whatever he’d done, the fact that he had hurt his siblings and he couldn’t remember a second of it? if he wasn’t tied up, he’d probably be running to the bathroom just so he could empty the contents of his stomach. connor puts his head back down so she couldn’t see the tears welling in his eyes and he shakes his head, but he understands their reasonings– understands hers. if things went as bad as she said they did, he had a lot of making up to do. “if… if that’s what it takes, i.. i will. i’ll stay with.. i don’t know, i’ll stay somewhere.. somewhere else so you guys can be comfortable. i don’t.. i don’t want you guys to feel unsafe at all, you.. you– don’t got to worry.. about me.”

[b0nywh0res]

☆ personal info & stuff ☆

hey, welcome to my page!! please dont interact if ur easily triggered or in recovery. i dont want to accidentally hurt anyone <3

im sage, born in '06 and ive struggled w food since middle school. i kind of recovered in 2019 but i relapsed in june '22 :/ im also a taurus for anyone that cares LMAO

i mostly just rant abt my life here, not always ed related but idc. i like talking and sharing my life w others :)

not looking for a coach!! i love making friends tho :)

♡ stats ♡

ht: 170 cm

hw: 55.7 kg

lw: 37.9 kg

cw: 53.5 kg (02/09/23)

gw1: 45 kg

gw2: 42 kg

gw3: 38 kg

gw4: 35 kg

ugw: 32 kg

ily, stay safe!!

[somnilogical]

case study: elle benjamin

the rationality community's least skilled exploiter of transmisogynistic coordination points known to me

when thinking about strategy, i often use the least sophisticated version of a given strategy that i know of to reason about the minimal elements of the strategy in general. i have an index of unsophisticated versions of things that i ping and ask "is this strategy basically this vector but with more optimization power behind it?" it helps compress a lot of information. to check, i can make a prediction given a set of examples of the pattern and test it.

(like i did with the transmisogynistic rationalist orgs "i bet this org has 0 transfems in positions of power" and yep they did, they all did.)

and thats how i factor strategies generated by agents with large amounts of optimization power. who might have more ability to optimize in a domain than i do.

both of these claims are false. elle benjamin never let emma into the group. shes culpable for her continued choice to "believe" bigoted propaganda. just as davis tower kingsley is culpable for "believing" that anna salamon, the president of cfar, isnt involved in cfar's hiring.

elle benjamin is deeply concerned about the treatment of trans people in the rationalist community. elle isnt that good at social optimization so this is an obvious false face. like a cop during segregation who runs an algorithm of "smile at people" if no black people are using the WHITE water fountain and "beat up a human" if a black human uses the WHITE water fountain. as long as trans women know their place as violent abusers like ▘▕▜▋, elle is happy.

if we start claiming we are women just the same as them and how people are treating us is wrong, if we protest against omnicide, if other people are coordinating against trans women along lines of transmisogyny; then elle decides its time to show us our place in the social order as male. violent, child abuse loving, misogynistic, strong-arming, men.

this decision-circuit is not peaceful. people who start trying to exploit transmisogyny in an attempt to coordinate with others against you only when you look vulnerable or they think they can get away with it and otherwise smile at transfems are with their whole soul given over to transmisogyny.

erica's post is so passive-aggressive!

<<One issue is that i think this group is just too large to remain a high trust environment.>>

<<Thanks everyone for keeping this a civil place that deals with sensitive issues all these years!>>

in reference to my blog posts about how they didnt have any transfem mods and immediately took down hot allostatic load because it was a [[bad culture fit]] and [[incoherent]]. as if i were expected to keep some confidentiality about transmisogyny. i have no loyalty to keeping secret that kind of oppression, i signed no contract to that effect.

as if telling other trans people exactly what they did was "uncivil"! as if it were ruinous to society instead of ruinous to a cis women coordinating on transmisogyny.

as if posting hot allostatic load and talking about transmisogyny on my blog were less "sensitive" than the other things the group was doing which included posts like "How many romantic novels/movies/etc do we have left, once we take away all the ones focused on a man relentlessly trying to convince a woman through trickery and persistence and stalking that she should really have sex with him" and "the White Knight/Damsel in Distress dynamic" at the time HAL was taken down.

https://somnilogical.tumblr.com/post/175420481784/i-tried-to-post-to-rationalist-feminists-closed

its an equilibrium where anyone opposing the "peace" of transmisogyny is labeled "antisocial" and "disrupting things".

would you say this woman is being misogynistic and "strong-arming" a female DA?

<<Last year, I was arrested twice in Sonoma County at Sunrise Farms and then Petaluma Poultry, two massive industrial farms that torture and kill hundreds of thousands of birds- while lying to the public about how these animals are treated. My crime? Asking the county to help the starving animals inside. Not just asking by email or phone call or office visit (though all these efforts were made and ignored), but asking by going right to the frontlines myself, exercising my statutory right to help neglected animals, and calling the attention of the authorities to this pervasive cruelty. The fact that the sheriffs chose to arrest us and ignore the animal cruelty broke my heart. It's hard to believe we live in a world where helping someone who is dying is the "crime" and not putting that life in danger in the first place. But have hope that this will change, and my hope growing.>>

<<Now, in response to the action at Reichardt, Sonoma County District Attorney Jill Ravitch has decided to file additional charges against me, Priya Sawhney, and Wayne Hsiung. We are already facing 7 felonies and 5 misdemeanors and we're still fighting for animals every day. Do you think new charges will stop us? No. And it wont stop the movement, either. They think they can stop DxE by targeting leadership, but they don't understand that we are a network of leaders. That every single one of us is leading the world to one of the biggest changes it will ever see. #RightToRescue>>

probably not because shes cis and looks like:

laying down and making it clear that you offer no impediment to mass murder is not a female thing, its not a feminist thing. its a *you* thing, elle benjamin.

someone commented on the screenshots:

<<(It feels relevant that when I met this person a few months ago they went on a rant about the evils of TERF’s before telling me I couldn’t experience misogyny bc I was “male-socialised.” They apologised quickly after having it explained but the idea of their being the Font of Wisdom about transness to rats is insane.)>>

https://loving-not-heyting.tumblr.com/post/614660027724283904/ht-somni-for-screengrabs-this-sums-up-absolutely

ozy brennan, i know what the fuck im talking about when i say "transmisogyny". ive been lied to then kicked out of a homeless shelter for being a trans woman. several men forced me to the ground and held me down and cut off my clothes while i shouted "I DONT CONSENT" locked me in a bare room then crowded around a window embedded in a door and said "i told you it was a guy" and a bunch of people came to gawk at my naked body. and so much more.

some of my interactions on the street in the bay:

<<at bart ppl would call me an ugly bitch and ask me to sleep with them in exchange for meth

someone tried to sell me something and i was like "im not interested in being scammed today" and they were like "bitch!!!"

i walked around in sf talking with a homeless women for ~8 hours and someone asked if we had boyfriends and offered to sell us meth if we went with him and i was like "no thanks" and she was like "how much?" but it was too expensive or something. she showed me lots of places to get food and shelter.

and like if i sit down in places for long enough people will come up to me and ask me if i have a boyfriend or if i want to go get coffee with them on a date.

sometimes ppl ask where im *really* from and if i was born a girl. sometimes ppl touch me on my back or thigh.>>

ive compared notes with cisfems, i get more solicitations to have sex with men in exchange for meth.

this isnt oppression olympics, this is "maybe 7-8 years ago when i started transitioning i didnt have a detailed model of transmisogyny, but now i cant not have one". alyssa vance could have one too (and know things like elle is the kind of person who exploits transmisogyny whenever she gets a chance) if she werent busy using her adult intelligence to defeat itself for miri/cfar.

what elle benjamin did was transmisogynistic and i can arbitrage actually being aligned with justice by taking a stack of screenshots of all the things she said and showing them to transfems uninvolved with the ambient miri/cfar gaslighting. and theyll be like "yup, thats transmisogyny". and other transfems can be like "yup, elle was also transmisogynist to me."

rationalists like alyssa vance and ozy brennan currently have an incentive to imply people who accurately identify transmisogyny are crazy. to go along with the status quo. (if i had to guess: ozy to protect an environment where they can provide for their baby, alyssa because she routed her hopes for personal immortality through miri/cfar.) though its not like i expect /alyssa vance/ to start calling transfems “gross uncle style abusers" like patrick lavictiore did or start listing off their "manly" physical characteristics contra anna salamon being a small feeble cisfem like peter did. not because alyssa vance is a particularly good person, shes not. but because thats paying in to a coordination technique that could be used against /her/. she doesnt expect social reality to label her "psychotic" anytime soon so she pays into that instead. ozy does and didnt call me "psychotic". this optimization is dumb, myopic, and doesnt serve their own values. but all evil is like that.

i dont hold by "use words for their expected value over a community" like scott alexander does. this is nice because i can align what i say with my internal cluster structure of anticipations of reality and escalate arbitrarily far without things breaking. elle benjamin cant escalate very far until her claim of ziz being a "misogynist" shatters, because its not exploiting the cluster structure of thing-space.

anyway GG on this front. the territory of "elle benjamin isnt transmisogynistic, somni is hallucinating transmisogyny" isnt worth enough for the miri/cfar campaign to expend energy on; elle benjamin isnt an important piece to miri/cfar like anna salamon is; and alyssa vance isnt in an environment with a bunch of warm bodies she can coordinate on a falsehood with. so afaict this region is ceded.

one technique of fem v fem cyberontological combat when you are right is arbitrage. when people gather a bunch of warm bodies together to gaslight you that elle benjamin isnt doing transmisogyny or whatever. instead of submitting to a series of increasingly arcane requirements until your writing looks like the inside of /principia mathematica/ and then have people complain about you writing long technical paragraphs saying they dont understand them dont care to understand them and you must be crazy;

just take a comprehensive recording of them all choosing to be dumb in a given direction and show it to people who dont have a political commitment to be dumb in that direction (which, when you are right, is often most people outside of the gaslighting bubble) and explain why its wrong. there are a lot of overlapping social spheres and you can iteratively arbitrage between them exploiting the fact that the methods of rationality and justice are more universal than specific false coordination points. in go terms, the spirit of this strategy is tenuki.

--

alyssa vance also says anna salamon isnt transmisogynistic, tried claiming ziz whistleblowing on miri/cfar paying out to blackmail was blackmail, and defends paying out to oneshot blackmail with subjunctive dependence for cdt reasons.

[ubemango]

ehh idk about that. i mean some armys are toxic im not gonna deny that but that’s like every fandom. ive been in the sailor moon fandom, the mortal instruments fandom, american horror story fandom, etc and i can safely say they’re not any different than the bts fandom. if anything im surprised armys are not more toxic than i thought they’d be considering their size n mobilization; they could easily abuse that power (e.g. mass dislike an mv of other artists’, trend hate hts, etc) but they don’t.

I think what’s worth having a conversation here is about fandom itself bolstering the presence of “toxicity”. I hear and see that word all the time, whether it be about gaming communities/music fandoms and it’s like... what are these communities doing about “toxic” behaviour? I know it’s not feasible to come up with actual solutions because these are spaces meant for fun and being a “fan” shouldn’t become some organizational process. like I said in a previous ask, Twitter changed my perspective about it as a medium of communication. ARMYs don’t usually mobilize to attack other groups because they focus all that energy into driving out their own members 😭😭😭 I understand that calling people in for their questionable (or just downright hateful) behaviour is a process meant to better a community/that specific person—I’m all for educating for the better, and I encourage that—but believing that this can be all done through Twitter in a productive way is Not It. Also, it’s worth noting the language (e.g. “mobilization”) being applied in fandom spaces. The fact that army twt is large enough for large-scale interaction is already soooo telling about itself as a fandom lol

[perfectlytinyworkspace]

Shadowing: Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, MD, IBCLC

personal background

from Queens, NY and currently in Pacific NW (Portland)

attended catholic school, Washington college in Maryland (BS in biology, minor in chemistry/english) 

Tulane university school of medicine - homeless shelter and reproductive healthcare clinic volunteering in first 2 years | survived hurricane!

evacuation to Houston due to hurricane, completed some requirements at Baylor college of medicine in Houston

passion for medical communication, british literature

Zeta chi alpha sorority activity, journalism

OB hospitalist, which is an OB/GYN specialization

couples matched to residency programs

why medicine?

only go into medicine if you truly want to do it

interest in science and love for patient care and interaction

possible medical writing rather than medicine, but...they were miserable

it’s okay to have doubts, but make sure you’re certain in the end that you want to go down the physician pathway

you can also go into medicine without physician ship

getting into med school

no secret to getting in, but you don’t need to be perfect! hard to believe, but try your best to push back against pressure to be perfect

you have to work hard, but take care of yourself. keep the fun-work balance!

develop your character and personality, and stay real with who you are. 

do your best but you don’t need to be pressured into the sciences. major in what you love and satisfy your prereqs!

remind yourself why you’re studying by volunteering outside of school!

PREP FOR THE MCAT!! 

address your flaws and point to reasons you still want and deserve to be here

be active and go all in on club activities | social media is fair game, stay professional

imposter syndrome is real!!!! don’t be afraid to address your shortcomings

professional and personal life

OB/GYN hospitalist - in-patient work with women, 12h day/night shifts part-time right now | expert in OB/GYN

medical director in postpartum care, safety net for issues after birth

IBCLC - lactation specialist (100h education, 1000 clinical experience, board exam)

Northwest Mother’s Milk Bank to distribute human milk to women in need

Write for Bundoo and Flo, credential protections with articles

Media and TikTok to combat misinformation in medicine and health

married to a pediatrician, 2 kids, reading and kayaking, coffee <3

work-life balance is important to career excellence, can’t hold patients’ issues with a full cup

SOGH - simulations, educational material from hospital work

why OB/GYN?

ultrasounds, deliver babies, C-sections, surgery, hysterectomies, contraceptive counseling, reproductive health counseling, menopause support

dealing with emergency surgeries in uterus, inform patients of ovarian cancer / stillborn / miscarriage

handling politically-motivated abortion access restriction

staying totally emotionally present is difficult but with support it’s achievable

becoming an OB/GYN

generalist or sub-specialization in OB/GYN-related fields to increase operative experience, clinical care time, etc., etc.

boarded and non-boarded sub-specialty areas differ in terms of required coursework and exams

start OB/GYN rotation with Active Internship and get letters of rec, experience. Can do more OB/GYN electives before residency or explore other specialities

4-year broad-training residency and graduation, taking written boards and practice for a year

collect cases in second year, and submit all cases - get board exams in Dallas, Q&A interview about all cases to convince OB/GYN board of qualifications

every year = maintenance re-certification to stay current with treatment

day in the life

see patients first thing in the morning

clinic shift 8-5 with all sorts of whatever cases come in

follow-ups with open cases

operating days - scheduling operations, prepping patients beforehand and then running through all steps before operating (major with in-hospital stay, or minor where patient goes home afterwards)

post-op checking and afternoon checks

labor/delivery day: 12h/24h shifts, check in on patients and address patients in triage (emergency room, essentially)

adrenaline rush, fast-paced work, body fluids don’t scare you, unpredictability

be comfortable delivering sensitive information

high malpractice rate in OB/GYN specialization

case study 1

Patient PIH - 18yo gravita 1 (first baby) | 39wks4d | well-oxygenated baby

headache, high blood pressure, proteinuria during labor contractions

need to treat blood pressure otherwise stroke is possible | high blood pressure is common, i.e., gestational hypertension

or complications = preeclampsia (HT and other problems, i.e., pulmonary, renal, neurological disturbances), leads to maternal death

differentiate mild or severe HT that impacts whether to keep her pregnant or deliver her

IV medications administered to PIH; lab tests return low platelets

PIH has tonic clonic seizure | low baby oxygenation and low heart rate in infant

treat seizure, not baby’s low heart rate; treatment of first is solution to second

put patient on her side to circulate more blood, give MgSO4, and move towards delivery

pre-eclampsia has reduced nutrition of placenta and baby is 5lbs at full-term delivery

case study 2

jane, 16yo | heavy periods | ask parent to leave the teen for anyone 13+

jane needs birth control but has not told her mother | protect patient (jane) first

treatment: need birth control, STI testing, IPV screening for partner - go to Guttmacher institute for state’s laws on minor consent to see what you can and can’t do without consulting mother of minor

know laws in your state | counseling and figure out insurance title, individual insurance so that title shows up for jane but not her mom’s insurance

make disclosure notes, check with jane on consult and suggest conversation with parents if appropriate

OB/GYN = not just medical things but also trust, patient relationship

[unpeacefully]

" ANYONE CAN GET KNOWLEDGE LIKE THAT . " her reply was rather cold . but she'd rather not be that open , her attention went back to her phone as she turned it over in her hands over and over again . chewing on her lip as she listened to him she measured her next words to the other before even attempting to string them together into a sentence . " remember the year you got me like twenty -- thirty boxes of those little chalky hearts because they were on clearance and you had forgotten to get me a birthday gift ? " the memory was a fond one and she could help the small smile that tugged at the corner of her lips . " i - i don't ... " don't what ? know if she can forgive him ? it was obvious there was some sort of war going on in his head with what he couldn't remember . " you did and said some really REALLY bad things connor . " was what came out putting stress on the word really , " it's going to take a lot of time to get back to a point where things are OKAY . " if the texter had been true to their word connor went through HELL too , but it still was up for debate that the connor she'd met brainwashed on the ship was completely gone . " and . and i think you should stay away from sammy and bambi until we're sure you're you . "

𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓸𝓻 ;

‘‘I DON’T REMEMBER IT THOUGH.’‘  probably not one of his best excuses, but it had been the truth & it brought him back to square one. he wasn’t going to complain much– or at least attempt to complain, because if she felt safe? so be it. letting his head hang in defeat, the fight seeming to leave him for the time being because he hated this look on sabrina. just felt like the wind had been knocked out of him hearing that it had made her feel safe & he had cheated at that game. ‘’your birthday is february sixteenth. you always have a thing with calling me turd whenever you’re.. you know, being ‘brina.’’ shoulders are coming up into what he can muster a shrug, his eyes focusing elsewhere like her shoes. like they were the most interesting thing between them. it  was worth a shot right? ‘’i’m… i’m sorry.’’ he wants to do more, wants to reverse the damage that had been done because it fucking pains him seeing that look on her face & knowing he’d been the cause of it. ‘’i wish.. i wish i could do something.’’

[unpeacefully]

" NO . NO . NO . COMPLETELY NECESSARY. you were a dick . " was all the brunette was willing to say clearing her throat in the process . she was TIRED there was no real bite and no real desire to actually look him in the face despite the eyes she felt on herself . " we tried playing that game . you cheated ... remember ..? " she sat down her phone still gripped in her hands , it was toast but the last text was still fresh in her memory . she was done with games she was done with A . she was just DONE . her eyes drifted briefly up from the phone in her hands up to her brother . " i honestly don't know what i'm doing , " she said with a shrug and a small flicker of a smile , " but you being tied up makes me feel just a little SAFE . " she finally gave him her full attention , her last few interactions with her brother she either found herself at a lose for words or saying too much . " i'm just tired con . "

E@unpeacefully​

‘‘MASSIVELY UNNECESSARY.’‘ the words are gritted out from him, finally snapped out of whatever.. whatever it was that A had done to him, but connor manages to put himself into both his sisters & brother’s shoes? honestly, he didn’t blame them when it came to him being tied up. hell, if this was going to get them to trust him again.. he was okay with it. when the anger simmers down and he’s quiet for a minute, trying to push his head back so he could get the hair out of his eyes and he could focus on sabrina. ‘‘.. fine. if this is one of your tests ‘brina, i’ll play.’‘ attempting to sit up straighter in the chair, trying to act as if he wasn’t bound. ‘‘ask away.’‘