#i AM LEGIT CLOSING IT THO

[isalabells]

[bangcakes]

.

[problemtranny-moving]

Love how I can be relaxed and calmed by thoughts of my angel viciously beating me.

[minkieater]

yknow what ,,, who in atz makes love vs fucks ,, i am tinking abt it

FUCK THIS IS HARD. controversial take on atz tbh i cant believe mingi is where he is i want him to be a freak so bad but i must separate mental mingi and real mingi

FUCKS: freak bitches

1. hongjoong

hj is a possessive demon freak you can see it in his eyes fr. there isn’t a day that will pass without you getting split in two, he’s not just a freak but he has stamina and he’d rather do literally anything else but sleep, so what better way to pass the time when his brain is fried from making music than to fuck your brains out???? you love his libido and his ability to never turn it off, i don’t think his dick ever softens tbh not really. especially not when you’re talking to another man, that possessiveness really comes into play, it doesn’t matter who it is from your coworker to your friend he’s taking you to the next secluded spot and reminding you who the fuck you belong to. maybe toxic, but that’s hj, and when he’s done blowing your back out you’re reminded every single time that you don’t need anyone else but him (and you like it that way) (he’s my soulmate in the astral realm btw)

2. jongho

he’s a dominant freak and its so fucking sexy. his dominance slips into every aspect of your life, what you wear, what you do, who you talk to, what you eat, never in a toxic way, but in a way that he’s taking care of you, looking out for you, keeping you safe. he loves a good game of cat and mouse, loves when there’s a lil brattiness he has to tame, to assert his dominance all over again— there’s been several nights where you haven’t finished once because you disobeyed him, tears streaming down your cheeks with your legs shaking because you were so fucking close and he ripped it away last second, he knows every inch of your body like the back of his hand, he knows what you’re thinking half the time just by the look on your face. he’s got boxes of toys set aside, ropes and handcuffs and spreader bars, either for torture or your pleasure depends on your behavior (jongho ill be so good for you pls) and he is NOT afraid to use em. god hes so in tune with you and your body and his OWN his control is so fucking crazy i think i could keep going and actually talk about this for hours

3. wooyoung

he’s a fun freak!!!! giggly and experimental he wants you in every position he can think up, he’s creating his OWN positions when he runs out of ideas. he’s fucking you in public, in a dressing room, fingers slipping inside you under the table, a cocky little smirk on his face when you accidentally let a moan slip UGH he’s the type to not be weirded out by anything like if you find some weird shit on the internet and wanna try it out he’s 100% down. he’ll try anything once. you want to tap into omegaverse shit??? he’s barking for you and still fucking into you like its the first time. you wanna get into pee??? cum eating??? bondage??? cuckolding?? it literally doesn’t matter. he’s down and he’s researching and he’s educating YOU. he needs an experimental partner too tho cus his ideas are just as fucking crazy and he is NOT shy about sharing them with you. sex is fun with him, never boring, never stale, he keeps you on your toes just as much as you keep him on his, you’ve spent legit weekends in the bedroom because you tried something new and neither of you can get enough. toys, vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, cockrings, Strap Ons, you have them all, wooyoung is a yes man and no one can tell me differently. with a shrug and a smile on his face EVERY TIME he’s like yeah sure why not Omg and if there’s something that doesn’t work he’s like ok whatever and then just goes back to normal. sex is so chill and so fun and so experimental and there’s never any pressure FUCK wooyoung i fucking love you i got carried away

MAKES LOVE: sweet angels

1. yeosang

guys im sorry he’s here. i do think yeosang is versatile but not often enough to classify him in the middle, if you catch him on a day where is patience is thin he might be using his biceps to cut off your air flow while he’s fucking into you from behind, but on the day to day, he’s kissing every inch of your body, hands in your hair, petting your skin, cupping your cheeks, whispering sweet words, praises, everything is so fucking sweet it usually ends up with you in tears from the emotion passing back and forth between you. yeosang takes care of you in every way, there’s never a time where you finish unsatisfied, he makes sure of it. if you aren’t whining with tears streaming down your cheeks he isn’t done yet, he has stamina and he could fuck you for hours, even besides fucking he’s eating it for hours if thats the vibe. yeosang i want you so fucking bad

2. mingi

man :/

he’s a whiner. he’s sloppy and messy and so fucking virgin even after you’ve been fucking for years, every time is like the first time with mingi. while his hands grow more confident and his body has more stamina, he’s still fucking into you like it’s new, eyes screwed shut and staggered breaths leaving his chest because it’s inconceivable that you feel so fucking good— that’s something he’ll never get used to i fear, how you wrap around him so perfectly, how you’re so warm and wet it’s fucking war to not bust in you within three strokes. he doesn’t tho, he has pretty good control, up until you’re the one whining with tears slipping down your cheeks and he’s losing his fucking shit. elbows pressed into the mattress beside your head, tongue slipping into your mouth with no real rhythm, his cock rutting into you while barely pulling out, he’s addicted to your warmth, the feeling of being inside, the closeness, and god when he fills you up it just spurs him on farther. he’s not stopping until there’s three loads inside you with barely any reprieve between sessions, he’s spilling into you and fucking himself through the overstimulating, crying and whining and praising you because he loves you. im so fuckinf insane im an animal i fucking love this man i would die for him

3. san

this one should not be a surprise tbh san is a caregiver, the way he fucks is spiritual, its all consuming, its heavy and emotional and passionate and everything. you guys probably aren’t into anything hella freaky, farthest is probably a quickie in a dressing room every now and then, but most of the time he’s taking his time with you, stripping you of each scrap of fabric on your body with dainty hands and warm kisses, licking up your skin as if it was candy, telling you how you taste. he’s fucking into you with skilled precision, the movements of a man who’s taken the time to learn every inch of you, what makes you feel good. he’s big into breeding and he’s filling you up every time he def has a vasectomy. would never want u on any birth control because god forbid u change something about yourself for him!!! i feel like san is mad traditional in every way his fav position is probably missionary so he could see your face while he fucks you, holding your hands, kissing your lips that had long gone unresponsive against his own.

SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE: both ways

1. yunho

hahahahahahahahahahahahahha this fucking freak bitch you know exactly what im gonna say. similar to jongho in the sense that he’s controlling many aspects of your life just because he can, he thinks its hot, and so do you. if you disobey him/make him feel disrespected he’s fucking you into next week, and he’s cruel about it, he’s not letting you cum, he’s holding your hands behind your back with one of his own just so you can’t touch him. he’s degrading you, vile words flying off his lips that make you clench tighter around him, he’s pinching your nipples until you’re crying. yunho dom agenda is so real. but he’s not like that all the time, you have your nights where you’re lost in kisses and sweet words and slow strokes, he fucks three loads into you because he wants to get you pregnant, would probably start trying to make you a mother a year into your relationship. if even that long tbh. yunho is mad versatile and he checks off every single box jeong yunho can i please have your phone number

2. seonghwa

😛 I WANT HIM SO BAD this freak bitch i still think he loves voyeurism and cuckolding and shares u. that blurb lives within me. i also think he is mad freaky like wooyoung, nothing puts him off, everything is hot and he wants to explore your sex life as much as he can, if something doesn’t work he’s like whatever we just wont do it again. prolly an ass eater on the regular. super flexible too he’s probably fucking into you from crazy angles like you’re both pretzels LMFAO fuck hes so hot i think seonghwa can do anything at any time. he’s another that loves to fuck you slow, but in a torturous way, like only fucking you with the tip until youre a crying mess begging for more. he definitely gets off on your whines, laughing in your face above you, but when he finally gives you what you want it’s shattering you. deep, heavy strokes, each one has his pelvis hitting yours, all while he’s kissing you sweetly and telling you how good you are for him. seonghwa freakbitch truther!

[emmyrosee]

Okay listen when sunas kid calls his mom the same pet name Suna is like “oops” but tell me why if it was Atsumu he’d be like “excuse you that’s my wife get in line buddy”

Like the guy is very comically threatened over anything and everything you could be commenting the cherry blossoms and he’s like “ok but what about me tho am I also pretty”

OENDIDDND NO YOU DONT UNDERSTANDDDDDDDD

Atsumu legit like. Your BEING is his entire world, there is no life without you, nor does he want one. You are his rock, his soul, his heart, his life, and he will be absolutely DAMNED if Hisako and Kousei DARE try to steal HIS pet names for you.

LIKE-

“Hey beautiful,” he whispers, sneaking up behind you. His hands slip on your waist, big hands splaying out lovingly against the bone, and he’s sponging kisses along the side of your neck and face. “What’re you making?” On the counter, Kousei watches with big, soft eyes, watching his father closely.

“The tiny humans wanted cookies,” you hum, tipping your head back to rest against his shoulder. “Kousei wanted to help. Should be done soon.”

He lets out a sigh of relief, “you know how to make me happy, sweet girl.”

You laugh and press a kiss to his jawline, and you watch in your peripheral as Kousei bounces in excitement.

“Seet giw.”

You giggle fondly at Kousei blinking up at his father just past your shoulder, and calling you (as best as he can) the pet name he just whispered, probably in hopes of also receiving such an affection from you. “Boo-ful.”

“Hey,” Atsumu hisses. “She’s mommy to you, got it? Back off.”

“Tsumu!” You giggle.

Kousei clearly doesn’t understand his father’s threat, laughing at his intensity, but when you turn to look at Atsumu properly, his eyes are blown in possession. “You don’t call her that. Only daddy.”

“Daddy does what?”

Hisako comes in at the commotion, her babydoll dangling from one of her fists as she tugs on your pant leg. “What do daddy do?”

“Daddy calls mommy names, and only he can,” he grumbles.

Hisako gasps, “you shouldn’t do that!! ‘Smean.”

“Not those kind of names, sweetheart,” you laugh, scooping her up and into your arms, where she rests her head on your shoulder. “You know how sometimes daddy calls mommy pretty?”

“You are pretty!” She squeals.

“You don’t get to say that!” He whines.

“Atsumu,” you titter.

“Why not?”

“I’ve earned the privilege, you haven’t.”

“But I wanna call mommy pretty,” she pouts, genuinely in distress. “What do I say in school when they ask what mommy looks like?”

“Not my problem,” he grunts.

You playfully roll your eyes and kiss Hisako on the head, “of course you can call me pretty, baby. I would like that very much.”

“Pit-tea!” Kousei chimes.

“I’m about to send them both to their rooms,” he hisses.

“You so are not,” you snicker, turning to face your husband. “Besides-“ you kiss his cheek before whispering in his ear, voice low to keep Hisako from listening, “there are some names only you get to call me.”

He grins, demeanor softening. His fingers gently dig into your hips, making you shiver.

“Damn right.”

[mickules]

Do you want art of a beloved blorbo? Will you risk a tricksy trick for the chance?

🎃 Let's play a Halloween ask game 🎃

Here are the rules!

Send me a 'Trick or Treat' ask to my askbox with a halloweeny emoji and the name of one character!

Be creative! any given character will only get the chance to be drawn ONCE, multiples will all be collected together. Is there a fave you legit NEVER see art of? Chuck their name into the ring! Doesn't have to be someone I've ever drawn before, all bets are off!

Asks will be collected from NOW [12:00 noon GMT] for 24 hours, [until Oct 29th 12:00 noon GMT] when the ask box will be closed!

Every ask is going to get a number. EVENS or ODDS will determine if it is a TRICK or a TREAT. It will be a straight 50:50 shot!

Treats will get a little pic of their character! Tricks will get some miscellaneous sweeties!

Tricks and Treats will be posted on Halloweeen! (tho do bare with me, I am but one man, and I've no idea how many asks this'll get)

Happy Halloweeeen! Best of Luck~

[zeherili-ankhein]

Tell me the the thakumar jhuli storie please🥰

OKK SOOO TIME FOR MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE TALE EVERRRRR

This is my favourite favourite story of all time and i was so upset not many people know this 😭 there's an animated version too by ssoftoons but it doesn't do any justice to the story... So here's me rambling it out

Also tagging y'all @randomx123 @jeahreading @krishna-priyatama @foreignink @ishaaron-ishaaron-me @igotadigbickandureadthatwrong @dwarpharini @priestessofuniverse @no-idea-where-i-am-lost @desigurlie @shubhadeep385 @stxrrynxghts @no-idea-where-i-am-lost cuz the story is soo crazy and so dear to me I wanted to share it lol @wulfricnavy

Trigger warning: bitchass people, killing those bitchass people, traumatic childhood, raw meat, arrange marriage, breast milk, lowkey mention of sh accusations, long hair, and a lot of questionable stuff... And cannibalism... If that counts... 💀 And lots of swearing

So in the starting of the story, we are introduced to this really lazy brahmin. He's so lazy him and his wife are in poverty 💀 (like I can feel you sir I am lazy too!! but get some money dude) he does begging and goes with his day with the money he gets 💀

One day brahmani get's to know that the neighbouring kingdom's prince is getting married and the king is gonna arrange a feast for all the brahmins and everyone who'll attend, and gift them money and stuff.

So brahmani tells her lazyass husband to go attend the wedding and get the gold ✨✨ but dude is so lazy he's literally like laying on the floor whinning about not wanting to do any work.

Brahmin: im too lazy we are well with the money we have no?

Brahmani: go or I'll kill myself 🗿

Brahmin: ..... 💀🤌

But bou boleche so he needs to get going... 🗿🤌

........

So now while he's going he's literally so lazy and introverted he doesn't even know the way to that kingdom and didn't ask anyone 💀 and so now he's lost in the forest doing Dora the explorer shit

Then he's roaming in the forest and notices a Korir pahar (ig this was the time period when they used shells as currency...) so he's like “wtf?? there's literally so much money and nobody noticed??” but he continues to go on.. (dude is so unbothered bruhh)

Then he notices adhulir pahar.. (idk what that is but must be some kinda currency) then takar pahar and dude skips each of them like unwanted youtube adds 💀🤌

At the end he notices a gold coin mountain (mohorer pahar 🏔️) 🗿 and brahmin is like o.O seeing all that, then he notices that there's a big palace at the foot of that mountain (red alarm bro get out of there asap)

......

Then he notices a beautiful woman standing at the door of the palace motioning him to go near her. (Ig my guy doesn't know the rule to NEVER trusts sundari aurat at the middle of nowhere... Especially the one's that's calling ya to get close... 💀)

So he's now confused but get's to the door anyways... And asks her “who tf are you and why are you here???”

Sundari: you don't remember me? :(

Brahmin: ....no..

Sundari: how will you remember me... It was so long before, when you were kids..

Sundari: that we got married in this palace, it was so beautiful...

Sundari: now come inside and take some rest

Brahmin: GURL WHA-

He legit wonders when tf did that happen and why he remembers nothing, but thinks maybe they DID get married as kids because Kulin Brahmins used to get married more than once... (Now this is where I got to know this information lol)

Tho he warns her that he can't remember shit.. and she just laughs it of by saying he doesn't need to work his brain so much and can just rest without worries 💀

.....

The palace is BIG and is as usual filled with riches and golds and silvers and gemstones, BUT sundari stays alone in that place. And if the Brahmin wanted to know why, she just said a sad story and went with it... 💀

NOW here's a big plot revealed. The sundari is actually a rakkhushi who killed all the citizens of that kingdom and everyone in the palace and, just took over the place turning it into a forest 💀 (that's why you don't trust strangers brahmin bro...)

.......

So now Brahmin is legit staying in that palace with her 💀🤌 (ig they did the deed too.. lol) and he kind of forgot about his wife at home... (Bruhhh)

Sundari tells him to bring his wife to that palace so that they all can live together happily. Saying it's not her fault he mistakenly married her... 🤡 (The audacity bro the audacity!!!)

But brahmin is intelligent 🗿 he knows if he keeps both wives together they are gonna fight. And says “nahh she can stay at the city, I'll go visit her once in a while”

But sundari forces him to go get her saying they won't fight or be jealous and she'd stay nicely with her. So brahmin agrees to go get wifey...

.....

Now this side brahmani is like worried sick because dude is missing for SO long, and all the other brahmins that had went to the wedding had returned and they all said he wasn't with them at the wedding so she's like “more gache re amar bor 💀” and she's like on the verge of calling herself a bidhoba when dude returns.

That also in expensive clothes and with riches and clothes for her. So she's like happy that her husband is back and cries happily.

Brahmin tells her about everything that happened and she's like “bruhhh you literally returned back from a rakkhushi and you wanna go back? Don't be a dumbass” and he says “bu-but she's pretty 🥺 so she can't be a rakkhoshi 🗿” (aurat ka chakkar hai babu bhaiya....)

Brahmani gets convinced that yeah that might be cuz why tf it won't be. 💀 So they leave for that random ass palace in the middle of nowhere.

........

They take their gorib manush stuff (it's a joke im not making fun of anyone's econimic status 💀👍) and set to go settle in that palace.

When they reach the palace, that Sundari was already at the gate waiting for them with a big smile. And as soon as they entered she hugged brahmani like “yooo sautan how have ya been” 💀

She legit goes “we're sisters now don't worry about me being jealous hehe” (that's a red flag that's a BIG RED FLAG!!!”

.......

So anyways they stay there well and good, and years go by and now brahmin has two kids 🗿 One with the sundari/rakshashi — Shohosrodol (see see they did the hulalala) and one with brahmani — Chompokdol

✨AND THESE TWO ARE THE HEROES OF THE STORYYY✨

Well not for me I only consider Chompok my hero (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

But whatever back to plot....

.......

Shohosro and Chompok are like besties for life, two peas in a pod, two body one soul kinda close. They literally can't leave without eachother. 🗿✨

And they go to these neighbourhood kingdom school on their POKKHIRAJ GHORA BRO THEY POKKHIRAJ GHORA!!!! And study and play around and everything, they look good (Chompok looks better idc) and everything typical rupkothar golpo hero has.

Now amidst everything, while living with the humans around her, rakkhushi bbg kinda forgot the taste of raw meat and just became like a normal married mohila living with her family 🤡

But one day finally our lazy lad brahmin finally decides he's getting too useless doing nothing “khub beshi boshe boshe shorir e jong lege jachhe shikar korte jabo” 🗿💀

So whatever he goes hunting and brings back animals and stuff like rabbits or deer or swans. And the kiddos literally jump with joy each time he brings in a deer (and from here I got to know back then deer meat was a delicacy for bengalis)

And NOW NOW NOW, seeing so much raw uncooked meat in front of her our pookie cookie rakkhushi is like “DAMN BRO I NEED MEAT IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I ATE RAW MEAT” but for obvious reasons she can't tell that to anyone

So she decides she'd just regularly sneak into the kitchen take some chunk of the meat from the dead animal before it's cooked and DEVOUR it. 💀🗿

.......

Now one day brahmani notices that meat is going missing and one day decides she'd hide in the kitchen and see what's the matter.

She waits and watch as rakkhoshi comes and pulls the meat out from the window and eats it. And get's scared cuz wtf they are ACTUALLY living with a rakkhoshi.

She doesn't says anything but the next day she's like

Brahmani: didi do you know meat is going missing nowadays...?

Rakkhoshi: ....is it?

Brahmani: yeah you know why?

Rakkhoshi: how would ik

Brahmani: ik who you are stop pretending

Rakkhoshi: yeah whatever im gonna eat you and your husband now, be prepared you two would be in my stomach by tomorrow noon, then your son too

💀 So yeah... girlie went and confronted her like a dumbass in place of running away in secret 💀🤌

.....

Now brahmani is worried that even if she dies she doesn't want her son to die (mom cares) she stays awake the entire night wondering what to do. Then at dawn she wakes up Chompok urging him not return from school that day, telling him about the rakkhoshi and everything.

She gives him a small container with her breast milk in it. And tells him, if the milk turns a little red then to know Chompok's parents are in danger, a little more red and his dad is dead, completely blood red then his mom is also dead. 💀

Even tho Chompok didn't understood it completely he still agreed to do as asked amd goes to school with Shohosro on their POKKHIRAJ GHORA

.......

But on their way he kept looking anxious and continuously checked the container so Shohosro got worried and asked what was wrong but pookie kept denying and just said everything was fine even when th milk turned a little red.

But at one point he checked and it was completely red, because on that side while the Brahmin was bathing in a pond, the rakkhoshi killed and ate him then ate the brahmani. 💀

So now after seeing the red af milk, Chompok falls down from his pokkhiraj ghora while he was busy crying and trying to run away from Shohosro.

Worried Shohosro ran behind him, landing just next to Chompok taking his head in his lap asking what's wrong as he rambles and cries to him, telling him, that his rakkhoshi maa killed his parents. Now Shohosro is like 💀 cuz he's hearing it for the first time that his mother is a rakkhoshi.

Now rakkhoshi darling comes running in her real form yelling at them for Shohosro to step aside as that's her son so she'll not do him any harm and she would just eat Chompok.

BUT our hero Shohosro is like “fuck you woman that's my brother you are talking about I ain't moving aside I'm fighting you” 🗿🗿 (we'll he's a pookie cookie) and yeah... He killed his momma using his sword (slayyyyyyy like literally)

........

Now both Shohosro and Chompok are wondering in a new place thinking what to do with their life now because it's getting late

They come accross a home and decides to ask them to let them stay there for the night and goes to sleep as soon as they hit the bed.

When they wake up later, they hear some commotion happening in the front of the house, as the members of the family are arguing about something.

They are like “na na ami buro hoye gechi ami jabo” “na na ami shobar chhoto ami jabo ami gele karor jaye ashbe na” 💀🤌

So both the brothers are like tf is going on and they go ask the head of the family that what's the matter

Buro lok: so one day a random ass rakkhosh came from nowhere and terrorized us killed people here and there

Buro lok: so our king decided that we will offer one human to him every night so that he doesn't kill anyone

Buro lok: so now each night one person from a family goes and wait at that old Shib mondir at the end

Buro lok: untill the rakkhosh comes at the third hour of the night to eat them

Buro lok: and today it's our family's turn, so we are deciding who'd go.

Then Shohosro and Chompok are like

The bros: yeah we will go

Buro lok: but tomra amader otithi you can't go

The bros: you guys let us stay so now we are family we will go

Buro lok: .....ok 😔

These two bitches really argue like some pro debater to go to the death game that's about to happen 💀

.....

Now at the Shib mondir, Chompok is like “ykw im too sleepy you stay awake and I'll go take a mosher moto ghum” 💀 So Shohosro is like “ok little bro as you wish :3” and he stays awake.

In some time the rakkhosh comes banging at the door

Rakkhosh dude: bhetore ke re?

Shohosro: ami Shohosrodol sathe bhai Chompokdol ar duto pokkhoraj ghora 🗿

Rakkhosh dude in his mind: damn that's kid got rakkhosh blood in him can't eat him, I'll come later.

This happens another time before Shohosro wakes up Chompok cause he was feeling sleepy now, so he tells Chompok what to tell when the Rakkhosh comes, telling him to say that word by word before he nake tel diye ghumiye pore. 💀

......

Time comes and the rakkhosh comes too, and asks the same question but Chompok in a panic says “ami Chompokdol sathe Shohosrodol ar pokkhiraj ghora” and as soon as he said that rakkhosh is like yessss food and tries to break the door.

Shohosro wakes up with a startle hearing all the noice and as soon as the rakkhosh breaks the door, he kills him using his sword 🗿🗿 (boi is a warrior)

So now they are like okay yeah the rakkhosh is dead? and his giant head is laying on the floor? Who cares we are gonna give a moron ghum rn...

Next day people see the big ass rakkhosh's body and the news go to the king, who at first doesn't believe that someone killed the rakkhosh but later decides to go see for himself.

He comes and sees the body and is like shocked pikachu face, and opens the door to get inside seeing the head just randomly laying just like that. Then he notices as Shohosro and Chompok wakes up fron their beauty sleep and asks who killed that bitch.

They are like “Shohosro killed him 🗿” and king is like “thats it I had planned whomever would kill the rakkhosh, I'll get him married to my daughter so now Shohosro is my jamai 🗿”

.....

So anyways they get married and rajamoshai plans to give away half of his kingdom to Shohosro, so ofcourse they starts to stay at the kingdom. (ghor jamai my dear)

BUT the queen of that kingdom has a favourite dashi who's also secretly a rakkhoshi 💀 but nobody knows that. She goes out of the palace each night to eat, somedays picking up goru or chagol or somedays a randomass manush just like that. And nobody found out who's doing that bruhhh 💀💀

So Chompok, who usually sleeps late at night (just like mehhh) starts to notice the odd behaviour of that rakkhoshi dashi 🗿(btw the king built him his own palace to stay 🗿) but now dashi is alert cuz dude is literally a threat to her identity 💀.

So what she does? Complains to the queen that Chompok can't stand her and is threatening to kill her and everything (this didn't sit well with me, I feel like this perticular part had something... I feel like she was lowkey accusing Chompok of harrasment 💀🤌 cuz the words were like that)

......

Maharani ofcourse believed her favourite dashi over a randomass stranger boy (well not completely since he's her son-in-law's brother but still) and decided she'd go tell moharaj to throw out Chompok 💀 (sed life)

BUT our man our savior Shohosro heard her and he was like💀😰 what did my brother do to get this treatment I gotta save him...

So he wrote a letter saying “my dear brather I love you forever but you gotta get out of this kingdom... leave by tonight and don't come back” and send it to Chompok's place in secret (like bkl atleast have the decency to go tell him yourself 💀🤌)

So anyways... Chompok receives the letter and after reading it my pookie is getting all the bad thoughts he's like “kya itna bura hu main ma..? 😞 why my dada don't wanna see my face ever again what did I do wrong now where do I go 🥺”

But he still leaves the kingdom that night cuz dada boleche 🗿

.......

Chompok goes around like some dishahara prani in the forest and comes across a BIG palace in the middle of nowhere (why are all the palaces in some weirdass places??)

And what does he decides?

Ignore the palace and goes by with his day? ❌

Gets inside the palace because curiosity kills the cat? ✅

(And they say kids are not like parents 💀 baap pe gaya hai)

.....

Inside the palace my baby finds NO ONE legit no one 💀 (red alert bro should leave the place...) But then he reaches a room and goes inside just to discover a gorgeous maiden sleeping on the bed :3 (she's my sleeping beauty ok idc about anything else)

And he's like o.O ummmm wtf because obviously situation is so wild why tf is a randomass mohila sleeping in a sunsan palace in the middle of a forest.

So he stands there like 🧍for quite some time not knowing what to do and tries to wake the cutie up. But when he sees that she ain't waking up like that he finally notices the golden and silver sticks on both sides of her head (sonar kathi rupor kathi bro!!!! I've always known them from here)

The golden one on her right side and the silver one on her left side, and mr big brain is like “hmm ykw? Let's see what happens when touch her with both the sticks... and bro was right 💀 she woke up as soon as the golden stick touched her 💀🤌 (he tried the silver one at first too, but didn't work)

.......

As soon as the maiden woke up and saw an handsome young man standing near her head, she's like

Babygirl: who are you? Why are you here? Go away asap or they'll kill you...

Chompok: first of all lady calm down and tell me who are YOU? And who are THEY?

Babygirl: ...

Babygirl: I- I am the princess of this place, one day somewhat a thousand rakkhosh came and killed all my family and people and ate them :'(

Babygirl: they were gonna kill me too but the mom rakkhoshi said she kinda kinda likes me cuz she said I was too pretty to die, so to not kill me... (Well isn't that questionable? 💀)

Babygirl: so now I'm held captive over here and they make me fall asleep using those sticks and go to hunt and eat humans all day

Babygirl: and then they come back at the evening and wake me up and leave again the next morning.... :(

Babygirl: so now get out of here before they come and kill you too :'(

Chompok: gurl where am I supposed to go? I have nowhere to go... :'(

.......

So Chompok rattles out his entire history of being born in a weirdass family to parents dying to being told to get out of the kingdom and everything.

Babygirl: damn your story is honestly really sad... And now I see you really have nowhere to go

Babygirl: but those bitchass rakkhosh are about to arrive so ig you can go hide on the bel gach... They fear that tree for some reasons...

Babygirl: but make me fall asleep using that silver stick before you go

After doing as she asked and making her fall asleep Chompok goes and climbs the tree waiting untill he hears a bunch of rumbling dound coming from nowhere.

.......

[ Now why I haven't revealed pookie rajkonna's name yet? Idk bro the story revealed it quite late.. so ig im also waiting to give that suspense...]

Back to plot

Chompok waits and watch as all the rakkhosh come from every angles filling the palace. Then the maa rakkhosh steps in the front, waking up princess the same way he had done.

Then..

Maa rakkhosh: hmmm why do I smell human.... 🤨 Was anyone here???

Princess: ....I am a human silly (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

Maa rakkhoshi: ohh right I forgot whatever 💀

Then normal stuff happens the rakkhosh(s) all whin about wanting to eat the rajkonna but maa rakkhoshi tells them not to and then she gives rajkonna some normal human food (idk where she got that tho) And makes her do some seba 💀 and goes to sleep 🗿 (like gurlie probably stayed awake the entire night just like that)

......

Next day after those bitchass people are gone Chompok climbs down the tree and comes to wake her up and then they do normal human shit like eating and all ig...? (Idk where they are getting the food tho, ig Chompok can cook?)

And then they apparently talk and do more normal human stuff

Idk what these bitches are “talking” about... So I just kinda assumed they are having some Aurora x Philip ahh conversations throughout.... Roaming around the garden and shit who knows...

Then again by the evening he enchants her to sleep and goes to his hiding place on the tree 💀🤌

And the same shit happens like the day before. Rakkhosh gang comes does halla, buri rakkhoshi makes rajkonna do some slavery while the other rakkhosh(s) try to threaten her and eat her, they get scolded and again they fall asleep.

.......

This goes on for some days before Chompok is like

Chompok: girl how long are we gonna do this hide and seek from the rakkhosh gang? Donchu wanna be free???

Rajkonna: I do but it what am I supposed to do

Rajkonna: 😭😭🤌

Chompok: .....

Chompok: do one thing...

Chompok: pamper the old hag today and manipulate her to tell you how the rakkhosh party can die

Rajkonna: ok (⁠.❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

......

So that night when the bitch ass gang returns she does some extra seba and when the time comes fakes some tears (i can fake tears too 🗿)

Rajkonna: what will I do when you die? 🥺

Rajkonna: your kids are gonna kill and eat me 🥺😭💀

Rakkhoshi: ....

Rakkhoshi: lol girl rakkhosh people don't die like that we keep our pran bhomra somewhere seperate

Rajkonna: then where's it?? What if someone finds it???

Rakkhoshi: no one can find it 😌 (lmao wait you fucker just wait)

Rakkhoshi: see the pond right there? Yeah in the bottom if it there's a snail

Rakkhoshi: on that snail there are two beetles on top of it

Rakkhoshi: if someone is able to dive into the pond and bring out those in one breath and then kill those beetles then only we will die

Rakkhoshi: BUT not even a drop of blood should fall on the ground tho or a thousand more of us will get born

Rakkhoshi: but you don't worry no one can do that (overconfident much burima??)

Rajkonna: ok ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

And then they go back to sleep

......

Next day pookie cookie tells everything to Chompok and he's like “ok yeah go get a jar of ashes and I'll do what I need to do”

Bro dives in the pond brings out the beetles and then they hear a bunch of rumbling all over the forest and if those rakkhosh gang are running back to the palace.

Chompok tells her to spread the ashes on the ground so that the blood drops will fall on it and then he cuts the beetles in half bringing an end to all the noices and the rakkhosh gang.

And then overjoyed and glad the rajkonna is like

Rajkonna: MY SAVIOUR MY HERO! YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!! PLEASE MARRY ME LET'S GET MARRIED 🥹🥹

Chompok: umm... 👉👈 ok 😳🗿

(And that's how you get a girl people, now go kill some rakkhosh to impress her 🗿 jk jk lol)

So they do the Gandharva vivah just by doing mala bodol (that's how it was said there and it got me curious to do research and then I got to know about the different types of vivah in hindu scriptures)

.....

So everything is going fine they starts to stay in the palace all happy and newly married pookie cookie meow meow honeymoon phase etc etc (they are my blorbos my otp my lifeline whatever you say I love these two so much 🥹🤌)

But NOOOOOW coming to reveal the rajkonna's name.... She got really LONG hair and that's why they call her Keshoboti (idk if she has a birth name or anything lol)

One day darling Keshoboti was bathing at the ghat and a strand of her hair fell (girlie is experiencing hairfall for the first time smh smh) and she becomes sad... ): (ask us woman I experience hairfall on a regular basis)

So she ties that hair to a lotus and floats it in the river 💀👹

And guess where that bitchass hair floats to? TO THE GHAT WHERE SHOHOSRO BATHS 💀💀💀 (you thought you saw the last of him? well you were so wrong)

....

Shohosro while bathing notices that a randomass lotus floating weirdly and picks it up and then bro is like o.O because the hair attached to it is three hand long, and he's like “WHO IS THE NARI THAT GOT THIS LONG HAIR OMFG!?!?!”

Bro comes back but gradually becomes depressed and kinda obsessed wanting to know who that sundari is. And neglects going to court and eating and everything.

So now that bitchass sasuri maa is worried because her son-in-law is always locked in his room and doing nothing and falana dhimkana.

And she asks him and he is obviously embarrassed and doesn't want to tell his sasuri that he's obsessing over another unknown woman 💀🤌 (you nasty shit, this is the moment I started to hate on Shohosro because wtf bro) but tells her everything when she pressurized him.

So now that extra bitchass favourite rakkhoshi dasi is like moharani ik what's the solution just gimme a bunch of sweets and a boat and I'll to the trick.

Moharani blindly trusts her favourite maid (that's lowkey kinda gay ngl...) gives her the things she asked for.

.....

Now that rakkhoshi maid, takes the boat and does some blah blah montro jap and tells the boat to land at the ghat that sundari kanya baths 💀

And the boat does exactly that.

Once on the ghat, she calls for Keshoboti saying

Rakkhoshi: yo girl you remember me I'm your pishima

Keshoboti: ummmm...

Rakkhoshi: you have grown so much damn last I saw you, you were a baby (this single sentence was the scariest part of the entire tale fuck)

And my lovable dumb blorbo of a girl Keshoboti just believes her thinking maybe she doesn't remember anything cuz yeah she was a baby (why doesn't anyone got trust issues in this story??? 😭😭)

And that S.O.B Chompok also doesn't question anything like bruhhh

......

So now Chompok had a habbit of sleeping in the afternoon (bhat ghum supremacy Chompok knows that 🗿) but ig Keshoboti got insomania atp after deliberately being forced to sleep for so long... So she stays awake.

And on one of those days, the fake pishima is like “babygirl come to the boat with me I got some sweets for you, no need to tell your husband anything we'll be back before he even wakes up”

And that dumbass girl again trusts her and goes with her like bruhhhh 💀💀🤌

Once they are on the boat the fake pishima again does some montro jap and tells the boat to reach Shohosro's ghat.

.....

NOW the fucker is finally like “tf tf tf im being kidnapped omg omg hubby help!!!” and cries but it's too late lol 💀

So once back at Shohosro's place, the moharani is like “tell us who are you we won't harm you we just think you're very pretty so we'll keep you with us now” (MA'AM THAT'S CALLED KIDNAPPING)

But my dumbass of a girl is too busy crying and just rambles something about having a vrat for six months in which she can't speak about herself to anyone. So they just kinda keep her in a room, finding for a brahmin who can say the broto kotha for her 💀💀💀

.....

And back to my blorbo, Chompok is in shambles (chhan se jo tute koi sapna playing in the background). After he woke up and couldn't find Keshoboti anywhere 💀🤌

He's literally crying and searching for her like a madman for months atp. Bro even looks like a rastar pagol with stress and lack of haircut 💀 (again im not shaming anyone for their looks don't come at me)

.....

So in those months everybody tried to get words out of Keshoboti but FAILED because she was adamant on her demand for teh broto kotha.

So now as the six months are coming to an end, Keshoboti is getting worried what to do.

And Chompok in those months had reached that kingdom, looking like a mad dude. He hears some advertisement for a brahmin who can say Keshoboti's brotho kotha and he's like “wait...a min...” 💀

Then he basically sneaks to where Keshoboti is forced to stay and then they have an emotional reunion before he tells her he'd be back the next day with a plan and Keshoboti is again like “ok hubby (⁠.❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)”

.....

So next day the stage is set, someone is finally found who said they are gonna tell the broto kotha, and everyone is waiting with anticipation as Keshoboti comes and takes her sit, telling the dude to start his bok bok.

And then Chompok starts to say and BOIH DOES HE SAYS

Chompok: *ranting out his own life story* am I saying it right princess??

Keshoboti: perfectly correct! please continue

Chompok: *life story life story* is it correct so far princess?? (That's some odd flirting bro but im impressed)

Keshoboti: yes yes absolutely please continue

Shohosro: ....wait... excuse moi... OMFG THAT'S MY FOOKING BROTHA WTF WTF WTF

everyone else most probably: 🧍

.....

So yeah Shohosro finally realises that the brahmin in disguise is his chhoto bhai and gets too much ashamed because he had fucking held his brother's wife hostage for so long 💀💀 (good for you bitch cuz I already hate you)

Then everyone ask Chompok why he randomly disappeared from the kingdom and Chompok rats out the truth that moharani's girltoy (opposite of boytoy shut up) is a rakkhoshi.

And then rakkhoshi is like “ughh damn I'm exposed but whatever im gonna kill and eat everyone now” and starts to run towards Chompok

Then our local rakkhosh killer Shohosro pulls out his sword (no you dirty minded people not that go fuck) and SLAYYYYS the rakkhoshi.

And then everyone lives happily ever after ig...

Unless this bitches get their asses in trouble again 💀🗿🤌

.......

So... That's it. Amar kotha ti furalo note gach ti muralo...

Lemme know how you liked my all time favorite story hehe...

This story is really dear to me and I really really enjoyed doing this commentary explanation of the story too! :D

Also I think I should be banned from ever using the terms bitchass, randomass and weirdass lol...

[yatori-morgana]

Okay I was maybe gonna rant about the Tapis Rouge event, but part III turned it all around lol, return of the Fun

JK I'm still ranting (skip if you don't care)

In the other two parts, it felt like everyone was SO mean to the underclassmen. Jamil seemed to be doing his normal "give the same energy back to blend in and cause less problems" shtick, but Azul and Vil were just. No bueno. I obviously expected Azul to kiss ass the whole time, but it got unbearable — and he's my li'l guy. It's hard for me to get actually mad at my little goobers, but I was so over him.

You're supposed to be happy for Vil since he's so happy, but he continuously puts everyone down and constantly inadvertently reminds Yuu/player how fucking poor they are. Same to Ace, too, but at least he HAS things to his name. Jamil is just being responsible with his money, but when Azul dropped that ungodly amount of thaumarks/madols on those shoes, my soul left my body. Like, legit.

Buy stuff for yourself. Treat yourself. I don't care. But at that exact moment, it was poorly timed. Azul can be tone deaf, but DAMN.

Plus, Grim and Ace got dog piled REPEATEDLY for just…doing the same as usual. As far as those two go, they were actually very well behaved. Grim wandered around a bit too much, and Ace took some poor verbal snipes. That's it. But apparently their behavior is abhorrent while Azul and Jamil get to tear Ace a new one for literally no reason. It hurt to watch. At first, it was all, "HA! Now you know how it feels!" Then I just started to feel bad. Very. Bad.

Maybe it's just the localizers making it seem worse than the original JP event was, but it felt like the only saving grace before part III was Eric. He was actually nice, and it was a breath of fresh air after all of the mean-spirited behavior outside of the restaurant.

It's quite possible I'm simply sensitive. I'll take that critique. But WOW was I uncomfortable the whole time.

I get it. It's a business trip that's probably stressful for Vil, and we're only there because of him. For him. But that doesn't mean he should be needlessly rude, not does it excuse Azul's dumbassery or Jamil's hopping onto the Dickhead Bandwagon. (Tho I give Jamil a pass because he seemed to just be feeding off the present energy.)

And no, the outfits we got don't count as something for us. Because they're not for us. They're for Vil. Vil bought them to pretty up his accessories — us. We are his aides and decorations. That is it. That is our job this event. And I don't like it.

Though, that could be a case of it just not being my scene. I don't like environments like that. The city, the careers, the expectations, all of it. So maybe it just isn't the event for me. That's fine.

No closing statement because I don't know how to end things. If you read all of this 4 AM unfiltered rambling, thank you so much. I hope you have a great day/night!! :)

[ruckooos]

Can you pls pls pls make Erron, Kabal and any Mk11 character of ur choice w a hyperfeminine amab!reader? Legit no one does it 😭 fluff hcs pls!!!

(Sure!!!! I love love love Erron and Kabal, they're my husbands fr. I took some creative liberty with what counted as hyper feminine, so hopefully you're ok w it!)

Doll

(Erron Black, Kabal, Kano x hyper-feminine amab!reader)

Erron Black:

FIRST OF ALL LETS GET THIS STRAIGHT. He absolutely adores you

He thinks you are the cutest thing ever, it's honestly rotten

If you're into fashion and makeup, this man will FORCE you to let him be your bag carrier and ATM. No questions or no's allowed

I envision him to be a romantic gentleman, very trad since that was his time period, so he WILL be carrying your bags in his inner elbows, your clothes hangers on one finger, a basket of products in one palm, and your hand in his other.

Have you seen his arms? He can and will lift anything. He's not allowing you to exert any effort, I fear. He's too gentleman-ly for that.

Unfortunately, he will not allow you to put makeup on him :(( the closest you ever had to doing do is putting foundation on a bruise, BUT THAT IS IT. He won't let you do any more, no matter how many times you beg him to let you.

If you're shopping for clothes, this man will be blunt as well. When I say this, I mean that he spills the absolute truth of his opinions on how gorgeous you look in the clothes.

"You look like a model in that blouse, mister. You look godly in white. It fits you perfectly." "Oh-- thank you!??"

I am a firm believer that he spoils you so hard you'd get more cavities than a 9 year old after eating the whole candy aisle in one sitting. If he sees you as little as side eye something, he's staring at it, then you, then dragging you into the store.

"Don't worry about money, sweetie. Let's just say there are a lot more... vengeful customers in Outworld"

HOWEVER. If you're a pop culture gay, then that throws a wrench in things cuz...

He's lost. Like VERY lost

I hc him to be a more romantic type of gay who is not involved in pop culture at all, so if you said "diva", "girl", "mama" or, God forbid, you REFERENCE something??? He's staring at you like this

It's all in love tho

"Come on teletubby, teleport us to mars!" "Who? What? Who is that? Who are you talking to??"

"As if I was Paula Abdul herself." "But you aren't? Darlin, what the fuck are you talkin' about???"

"This is so cunt" "honey, do you hear yourself? Do you hear what you say when you talk to me??"

After a few "werk bitch"es and "that was fierce"es later he just accepts his fate that he will NEVER know what you're talking about, just quitting and nodding.

"No but Chappel's performance of Picture You was so tea. Like, I was gagged" " I-- sigh you know what, darlin'? Ok. Why was it tea?"

If he even tries to understand what you're talking about, you'll just give the poor man a headache :( he CANNOT understand that most of what you say are just based off of pure vibes. "When in the ever livin' fuck is being gagged a good thing?? Now that's just concerning, toots."

If you're a music gay, then this will be the easiest that he can handle. Blast Mariah Carey, Chappel, Charli XCX, Sabrina Carpenter or Beyoncé --if he sees you having fun, then he's willing to love it. Just for you

I imagine you two just hanging out, blasting HOT TO GO by Chappel while you desperately try to teach him the dance. He'll be reluctant to try, but you two just end up laughing and holding each other close, just wiggling for the rest of the song.

You didn't hear it from me, but... *looks around me to see if people are eavesdropping* ...if you pressed your ear against the bathroom door while he showers, you MIGHT just hear him singing Good Luck, Babe. And... *looks around again* ...if you follow him quietly down the stairs in the middle of the night, you might catch him doing the HOT TO GO dance.

Now! Lets say you two are holding hands and walking down the city, giggling and chatting, you wearing a cute fashionable outfit that does not present any masculinity at all. If some bozo was stupid unfortunate enough to badmouth you, probably saying some bs like "men shouldn't dress like that" or "men got so much weaker, nowadays", you best believe that erron hears that.

And if he hears anybody speak with even the slightest amount of disrespect to his boy; his angel; his doll, then you know he's not afraid to do something about it.

For the sake of keeping the blog sfw, I cant tell you how exactly he solves the ordeal

Lets just say... they had to repair the entire sidewalk and each establishment beside it after Erron was done with them. Teehee :3

Maybe afterwards, you two can cuddle close with one another. Him holding you close to his chest, mumbling how perfect you are, how gorgeous you are, how proud he is of you and how lucky he is to call you his boy

If you're into drag race, then this man will be the poor victim of you referencing and ranting about your favorites.

"And then Bendelacreme WON, but when she was going to vote who to eliminate, she chose to eliminate herself?!?" "Darlin' it's 4 in the god damn mornin. Please let me sleep." "OH that reminds me! In season 5 there's a queen who has a syndrome that makes her sleep randomly, and she won the season!" *he buries his face in a pillow*

"Please watch season 5 with me :(" "Sweetie I've already told you ten times that I will, let me sleep first.

The moment you ACTUALLY convince him to watch it with you, he's flashbanged with color, fashion, slang and a new obsession.

He's a bit shy about it tho so please don't bully him abt it :(

Overall, he reveres you and the way you wear yourself. He worships each step you take, and he may not understand you completely, he always has your back, front and sides.

He still won't let you put on makeup on him though (he'll only let you if you use puppy eyes, but you don't know that that will work... yet)

KABAL

Speedy McGee ^_^ my mannnnn

Since he's more modern than Erron, he is then more up to date. Granted, he kinda lost touch as he started working with Black Dragon, but he got a head start!

He defo gives me "secure masculinity jock" vibes. We ALLLLL know this man is a fag at heart, but I don't really see him as feminine

I see him more as "very masculine, but more than comfortable to be feminine if he wants to be"

... ykw nvm now that I say it he 100 is a diva

AND GOOD NEWSSSSS. Since he's comfortable enough to be feminine, you know what that meansssss...

He will let you put makeup on him! YESSSSSS *applause erupts, standing ovation occurs, roses thrown on stage*

"Kabal can I please practice eyeshadow on you?" "Depends. Only if you promise to make me look as cute as you."

It ends up with you giving him full eyeshadow, with eyebrows and lashes on fleek, and lips absolutely beat down with gloss. You also added some highlighter, contour and bronzer since he didn't stop you ^_^

(He didn't know)

But it's OK! When you gave him a mirror, he saw the beauty he was used to seeing on your face, put on his! That's a huge flattering remark for him and you best believe he's keeping it on

If anyone tries to make fun of him for it, you what he's gonna do? Laugh in their face and tell them "you wish"

"OH please, you're just pissed that I can look good and you can't!"

The way he sees it, you imparted your beauty onto him; you bestowed a piece of what he considered to be the most divine things about you onto him, so if anyone was to make fun of him, they're making fun of you.

And we know our baba grill doesn't stand with that

"Cry about it, snowflake" (GO GET EM KABAL 🗣🗣)

HOWEVER, if they were to make fun of YOU in particular. If he even catches the smallest hint that someone talked badly about you; the light of his life; his wil to live; his soul; his partner; his boy; his man; his deity, then they will never see it coming.

Literally. They quite literally can't see him coming, he's not giving them the chance

You're off limits. Completely. He can handle all of the criticism, blame, shame and taunts. You? No. You were his pride and joy, his most precious amulet. He was NOT going to let you get hurt, even if you try to convince him you're fine.

Is that a red flag? Ehhhh... Who cares is the real question. You have a big, speedy hunk who loves you to death and heaven and will protect you to the earth's end? What's not to love!!! :3

But if youre a pop culture feminine, then you best believe: you met your match

Chappel Roan? Guess what, he introduced you to her. As a matter of fact, he taught you the HOT TO GO dance!

"Y/N jump higher! Straighten your arm on the T! Bring the energy that Chappel would want! Don't half-ass this!! Again! 5... 6... 5, 6, 7, 8!"

Mariah Carey? He's singing the songs, much much louder. He's BELTING them, actually.

Charli XCX though is where you got him beat. But don't consider this a victory! He's got bright green sweat shirts and brat gym tank tops the next day, and his headphones are already blasting party 4 u.

He adapts, what can I say

If you're into fashion, then he's matching. No questions. Doesn't matter to him if it looks good or not. it doesn't matter if it matches his build or features -If you're wearing it, he wants to be right with you, literally and figuratively

Maybe one day you're wearing a denim jacket with cut sleeves, matching boots and a belt, with denim flare jeans? Maybe you're also wearing pitch black sunglasses just to feel classy with you're hair all done? Great! You walk out of your dressing room to see him wear the exact same thing, except sized up

But if he unfortunately can't match with you (he's upset and grumbling abt it btw), then he will just resort to being your scary dog privilege

You look like a celebrity wearing your outfit, and a tall, buff man is right be your side, arm wrapped around your shoulder.

He honestly looks like a bodyguard (which he is)

And the icing of the gay cake is that he somehow knows more pop culture than you do 😭

I can see it in my head how he will be able to reference Oda Mae Brown, Drag Race, Tiffany Pollard, Stan Twitter, The Craft, Clue, Cher, Jennifer Coolidge, Wendy Williams. basically ANYTHING.

He would 100% reference at least one of these every other sentence, and you are just clueless, listening to him like (▪︎ v ▪︎)

On the off chance that you DO understand what he's referencing, then you two will actually explode (in a good way)

"Somebody lied to her several times" "they said she's hot, sexy and fly and she's nothing of the sort" "...I love you"

"Guess who's jealous of Adele," Kabal says. "Beyonce." You respond. He then proceeds to charge at you and kiss you.

If you say "old maiden type of ___" he WILL be cackling for about 2 hours.

If you're watching drag race, let's say on the TV in a living room. The moment he hears the intro, he's rushing right next to your face.

"Which season is this?" "Who's your favorite one?" "What episode is this again? OH this is where ____ happens"

This man has watched every single season, no doubt in my mind. he has an archive in his head of each episode and season where he can instantly recall what happens, it's actually impressive.

His favorite season is S5, no doubt in my head. His favorites are Alaska and Katya, and if you listen very closely while he cooks, then you'll hear him hum: "Katerina Petrovna Zamolodchikova, but your dad just calls me katya". iykyk

He would 100% introduce you to UNHhhh, he'd actually force you to watch it

"It's just a show where Trixie Mattel and Katya talk about all kinds of shit (because its their show and not ours). It's really short, only 13 minutes! You'll love it, doll. Come onnnn sit down!"

And then you DO proceed to watch it, and you to proceed to become addicted to it. Next thing you know, it's 3 AM and you watch all of the episodes.

You two definitely watched Contact, but only after you both passed the fuck out in a cuddle.

Overall, this man is the perfect man for you. He adores and reveres you, your personality and style like it's a religion. He gives you the confidence to be who you are unapologetically, cuz he wouldn't allow anyone to make you feel ashamed of who you are. Like I said, you have scary dog privileges. He will always be your biggest supporter, and you will never have him any other way

He's your own merc Ken <3

KANO

Ok so you're into big boy murderer with over 30 felonies, love that for you!

Lets take a look at his profile: he's a wanted criminal around the world, owns a weapon dealing company, kills people just cuz, and is the boss of the deadliest people alive. If you're not catching the drift, he adores every inch of you

I dont even think this is OOC, judging by... *looks him up and down* ...his mannerisms, I 100% believe he likes hyperfeminine guys, ESPECIALLY you

He is emanating "sugar daddy of twink" vibes, I mean just look at him!!!1!!1

He is filthy rich (filthy and rich) and honestly when you're with him, your hands are gonna be softer due to lack of effort, and you forget what the texture of money feels like

Transacting money? That's too serious of work, let HIM handle that, your job is to look pretty, have fun and drain his savings

Just kidding! It's impossible to drain his savings, cuz did i mention he's absolutely DIRT RICH?

This man quite literally worships the ground you step on, somehow more than the last two. He would dig out the entire earth by hand if you even IMPLIED that you wanted him to do it. He has the power, he has the arms, he has the money, and he has the time; anything you want, he will get it for you

Is honestly pissed off he can't give you a galaxy, because you deserve one in his eyes

OH you glanced for 0.00001 zeptoseconds at that blush palette in a mall window? Hold on for a second, the company will hand deliver you 10 samples of each product they've ever produced, just for you and all for free!!!!

Don't worry! It's not like Kano hired people to hold them at gunpoint to give those to you... heh

Same goes with clothes! You're on TV or insta and you come across a model walk ad and you stare a bit too long at an outfit? "Give me a moment, love. I just gotta attend this... uhm...business meetin' about... business things these cunts are talking about. You understand, right sweetie? Yes, I'll get you somethin' on my way back, I promise!"

A few hours later, he returns and reveals he won an auction for the exact outfit you were looking at, and he had a box of donuts in another hand. He promised he'd get you something!

Istg it's like a spidey sense this man has. You don't even have to look at something for him to know you like it, it's like he's reading your thoughts like a newspaper. Don't stress yourself out about asking him for something, he can sense it :) no need to worry your cute, anxious head, just sit there and he'll figure everything out

This man is too obsessed with you, to the point where no shame is present like at all. You want him to wear a cute girly outfit in pink? He already put it on before you said anything. You want to match outfits? Bought 10 pairs in all shades (notice how I didn't say colors since he obviously only picked the shades of your favorite color already). You want to put makeup on him? He's sat in your chair, patiently waiting. There is quite literally nothing this man won't do or allow you to do

If some unfortunate idiot even thought about you negatively, Kano wouldn't say anything. He'd laugh and make jokes about them to you. "Old, busted twat ova the' didn't like yer outfit. I could tell in his eyes he thought it was tacky. Don't worry about it sweetie, I won't interrupt our day"

the reason why he lets it slide is because Black Dragon members are around you at all times; it's a protective measure he implemented when you two got together.

The moment you and Kano turn the corner and are out of earshot, the members will come out of nowhere and deal with him. And soon, everybody tool the hint that you're off limits

If you're a huge fan of pop culture, then this man is the most receptive to it. It doesn't matter how strange it is to him that calling somebody a cunt was a good thing, but if it made your pretty face giggle, he'd gladly say it for you all the time.

I'm sure he does not understand a single thing you say, but it's alright, as long as you're laughing, comfortable, and happy, so is he. So say all the references to your hearts desire! Kano will just smile (him and that damn smirk), give you a kiss and be happy that you're having fun

OH but if you love music, then he is 100% blasting their songs for you every day. When you're not looking, Kano will go online and search for every merch the artist has released and buy them in bulk, surprising you the next day with literal boxes worth of merchandise.

If the artist is really popular, then you best believe he's flying you to every single country the artist tours in so you get to hear them perform again and again

It's what his lovie deserves

If you watch drag race, then he will instantly become invested in it just for you.

Will demand that you two watch together and will honestly be upset if you watch even a minute without him (just as a plus, this is the only thing you could possibly do to make him upset)

He'll invest himself in the runways, the challenges, the humor, the references, because if you're invested in something, he wants to be too!

If he catches wind of who your favorite drag queen is, he's contacting them and hiring them to perform just for you and to hang out with you for the night. 100%!!! Because, let me reiterate, he has the money and power to do so

You deserve to have fun, don't stress yourself about people who won't accept you, or if xyz will affect ABC, let HIM worry about those things.

You deserve the endless pampering and you deserve him

Overall, if you and Kano get together, he will be your sanctuary, which is kinda ironic based off of his criminal history. When you're with him, he will make SURE that you express yourself so fully and honestly that you're exhausted, and he will take care of you until the world explodes. Nothing will happen to you when you're with him, no judgement or unacceptance will come out of his lips or actions, every aspect and component of you, he worships.

(authors notes)

Whoooo damn this was long! I had a lot of fun and a lot of this was self-indulgent if u couldn't tell. Sorry if it sucks, this is my first time writing fanfics and I went through this purely based off of vibes. Have fun, stay safe and love yourselves, my ruffles.

Have a good day :>

[faerghusfucker]

ingrid is my least favorite 3H character and it’s not even close lol. my second least favorite is edelgard and i literally like her. i am an ingrid hater for life though it’s not even funny everything she does pisses me off. even when she’s fully correct (like in the sylvain supports) she pisses me off. you will never catch me on ingrid’s side.

because like every other character i don’t really like that much (rhea, lysithea, edelgard) is at least interesting to think abt or has a valuable role in the story. ingrid tho????? she’s boring, uptight, and racist. what is there to like abt her im genuinely confused bro fuck ingrid 💀

she may be the only character in this game i have like legit seething hatred for. i could go on forever abt my ingrid hatred

[neunnnnnnn]

Astral Projection ?✨✨

I have been offline because I had a thought of permashifting to my LOK reality and I have been thinking ALOT of the consequences, the good the bad and what to expect from that reality. Yeah I still decided to do it because I think water bending is cool tbh.

Okay so I did my thing which was watch edits and like 3 episodes, put on rain sounds and got to bed there are some breathing techniques that I did, I'll link it when I find it, and then went to sleep.

I decided to try shifting while awake because it has never worked before, because I focus too much on my surroundings and I have noisy neighbours. Anyway I put on a rain subliminal ( I'll link it) and I closed my eyes, ( I was sleeping on my side) since I know that I'm supposed to be awake, I started thinking of my reality and used @sheeezu method and when I got to the part I am supposed to think like I'm in my Reality, there was suddenly this high pitched ringing on both my ears, I told myself to calm down because I legit thought my ears were going to explode or something 😭 I took deep breaths and I say this again!! the 5 senses method should be your best friend because I can bet my entire savings that you can shift if you use it😭.

Anyway I was doing the 5 senses method and I smelt roasted meat, and I was hearing ( faintly ) music playing and I knew that I had shifted but then when I opened my eyes I could only see darkness and I was soo confused to the point where my mind just went blank and I don't know why .

I closed my eyes again and when I opened them I was in my room. I was disappointed that I didn't shift and wanted to go to the washroom. I tried waking up but I felt all floaty and when I looked at my side I could see my hand was above my physical hand and when I tell you I screamed my lungs out 😂😂 Idek why because I'm not usually afraid of such but I literally screamed and then I was literally pushed back to my body it felt like someone literally hit me the force was so fast that I woke up not being able to breathe well but yeah that's it. I'm obviously going to try again tho

I found them✨

Breathing technique and the subliminal

[ladysavich]

PLLEEEAAASSEE COULD U DO A POST OF HOW EACH GRIMM MEMBER REACTS/LASHES OUT WHEN THEYRE ANGRY PLLEEEEAASSEEEEE

HAIIII!!! YES OF COURSE!! This will be a part 1, I will make a part 2 of the background characters of this team as well as coach belmont ;)

Grim FC, when they are angry/ feeling stressed ->

Vlad: 

He would be very composed and try his best to keep a strong front

Very good at keeping it in and refrains from saying something too hurtful

Most likely going to try to end the conversation quickly so he can leave 

If he were arguing with someone close to him, he would probably cry a bit afterwards

But if it was a simple disagreement with teammates, then he would just go wash his face or drink some cold water

2. Jones:

Doesn’t handle arguments well

Gets emotional while yelling and would start bawling within 2 minutes

He’d probably yell a few mean things just because he feels vulnerable

Would lock himself in his home/ room for the next 3 hours

Has a habit of being insecure and might feel like he is being a bother

Won't be able to sleep at all afterwards

3. Staples:

He would yell

Maybe because he felt disrespected or unappreciated

He would not let that shit fly and is just trying to defend himself and stand his ground

Or else he doesn't have a reason to be angry

4. Cedric 

Same as Staples, he would defend his reputation and stand his ground

He wont yell or scream, tho

He would keep his voice stern and wont let it budge

Another reason qhy he may get angry is because he is being protective of someone close to him

5. Sloan Wolf:

Would get aggressive and agitated

Probably the only member that might get physical

I can picture him getting angry and breaking a vase or punching the wall in the process as away to let everything out before saying stuff that can't be taken back

6. Scully moulder:

Legit know nothing about him. I am looking at a pic of him and trying to psychoanalyse his entire personality 😭

just like Sloan he might get ....loud and pissed off easily

he isn't as aggressive to the point of breaking something but he qould dig his nails in the palm of his hand as a way to stay composed (that's doesn't exactly work)

He isn't the type to exactly pin point stuff and be up front in arguments, but he might ask questions like

"So is that what you think?" "Tell me more about how you see me"

Has trust issues and clearly gets upset when someone breaks that trust

7. Franklyn Stein:

Again, I don't know ANYTHING about this guy. So psychoanalysis, here we go!!!

Lol I can't think of anything for this guy😭

OK, I am back

Franklyn is a listener more than a yeller when it comes to fights

He first listens, and when it's his turn to argue, he is reasonable

If things get out of hand or TOO heated, he just makes sure to stay stern and unbiased

Like if his teammates got into a fight, he would be the barrier instead of being involved in the whole ordeal

Not one to actually argue, just stops the fight

Hope you all liked this!! I personally enjoyed writing this. It was different from what I usually write and . Also, thank you @mimpinightmare for helping me with Franklyn!! seriously dude. This post was stuck in my drafts until you came in. Your little insight had opened my brain💕

[forsakenwitchery]

bts of these photos Aemond: ElvenDen Helaena by me

I know that gifs look weirdly cropped, that's because no one was looking how vids were recording, and it's a miracle some bts are salvageble at least as far as heads go. even without the necks. :c

still cute tho. and not-so-cute, the 2nd one will forever be whoa in gif or photo form for me.

My cosplay tags:

Photos, gifs, videos from costests/cos shoots/cons

Inprogresses (costumes, 3d printing etc)

since it's my blog and I can talk at length about anything, here's a story of how I came to ship Helaemond TL;DR: fanarts and actors. & my anti S2 / Condal & Hess musings again. Wasn't planning on venting, but TG treatment still makes me so mad that I can't do one without the other.

Okay so my friend kept telling me her friend looks a lot like Aemond. I've met him once before this costest at the elven photo planner & he really does, but I still wasn't fully prepared for how uncanny it will be in costest. 😹 It's uncanny to be point it's CRAZY especially as up close as in the gifs above. Y'all are not ready for the full cosplay.

ANYWAY. So I sort of started thinking who among HotD characters I could try putting together for a costest for this to make sense. Alicent was out of the question since I don't look like her at all, and with me tending to look younger than I am, it would have looked even weirder than in the show. Eventually, I was choosing between Hel and Alys. I didn't ship Helaemond at the time, and we had no stills of Alys back then, so Hel seemed like an easier choice, plus I had my Dany wig.

And then I realized people actually shipped them, and at first I was like, 'huh'? Since they barely had any scenes and whatnot. Not that the greens had a lot of scenes together even back then. I wasn't particularly in the fandom, too thank god, I wish I could unsee some TB's hot takes. ANYWAY. I genuinely wasn't planning for this costest to be shipping galore at first, because I didn't know this was even a thing. Then I started looking up the fanarts and started to see the appeal. xD No joke, it legit happened when I was looking for references in a span of a few days. Then I saw how Ewan and Phia were hyping them up for S2 and talking about them in S1, and I was fully on board... Only for S2 to turn out to be so underwelming and character assassinating for all the greens blacks too, I really liked Rhaenyra in S1 and it's insane how much of a nothing sandwich she is after S2. By the time we shot the costest right before S2 finale, I had so little hope we'll get anything. Or more like. I knew we still haven't seen the scenes Phia and Ewan were talking about, so I knew we were getting something, just probably something that will simultaneously shit on Aemond and the ship since TG can't have nice things or feel anything but disdain for one another per S2 aside from Alicent and Hel because they aren't male therefore can be nice to each other. And at that point, I was so invested that I'm in my delulu land now, surrounded by my plans to do Helaemond justice in the best way I can. With maybe some side plans to try gathering the whole TG to ya know. Annoy people who hate them even more. xD Jokes aside, I'd really love to do that, I'd love to at least shoot Targtower kids as, you know, not hating each other. Shippery or not, doesn't matter. I'd just really like to do some wholesome green things, but yeah atm we're just Hel, Aemond & Alicent, and tbh I don't think it's possible to find an Aegon over here. I tried reaching out to my friend in another city, but got more of a 'no', than 'yes' answer, so idk where to find Aegon unfortunately.

I might eventually do Alys since my face works for both Hel and Alys & I can pull off one hell of a bitchface I'm actually surprised how I somehow come off so soft as Hel, but I have a feeling the show will make her TB she practically already is, and since Aemond is the eViLeSt person to ever evil in Westeros per Condal & Hess aka the only character making sense amids ongoing war with magic medieval nukes ffs, and doesn't deserve good things... I don't see a universe in which Alysmond will be really inspiring, not fucked up from the get go. I don't trust them. At all. So like. Giant question mark there. Helaemond priority. Fuck this show. Like if I had the resources to, I'd honestly shoot a bunch of scenes, not just photos. Hell, I'd reshoot S2, TB included, lol. But my ass is broke and I'm doing both mine and Aemond's cosplays so. 🤷🏼‍♀️

'Cause not that they haven't fucked up Helaemond… Or Alicent's relationships with her sons... Every single relationship of the greens went down the drain so fast it's like. The. Fuck? No, seriously, it still enrages me Hel helped Daemon of all people?? And seemed to almost wish Aemond would just drop dead right there. ANYHOW yeah… Yeah. I legit have so many ideas. I love using props and all that, and with her needlework, love for bugs & her overall tragic story (plus the dreamer storyline on the show the show doesn't touch like AT ALL), I want to do so much!

TL;DR again: the fandom made me do it. Just like the fandom made me dislike TB a lot. Or more like, the loudest TB stans with double standarts and zero understanding of how Westeros and people in it should function. And that it's not real world and no one is 'coded' anything related to our world or politics (or at least they shouldn't be no matter how much Condal & Hess try to push contemporary problems into the show to pat themselves on the back).

I realize there are dubious people on both sides of the fandom, but really not even Condal & Hess can make people like or dislike characters as much as their stans can. Oh also, WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE EVEN SIDES. They literally pitted the fandom against each other, it's so sick and twisted and all sorts of fucked up.

Back to Condal & Hess, them trying to sink TG so much made me sympathize even with those on it I didn't care about at first, like Criston, and simultaniosly dislike the Saint-RhaeRhae side and it's vicious vocal part of the fanbase... I even liked Daemyra in S1, but after S2 I don't want to touch anything or anyone related to her with a ten-foot pole. Even tho I still like some characters on TB, they just ruined everyone. To some extent on both sides, but for TG I sort of want to do things in support of them and in spite of Condal & Hess. Thereas for TB... After S1 I was thinking of cosplaying Rhae, but LMAO NO. Just no.

Tagged this with all the anti tags I mention, so don't come at me, I don't have time, and do have a block list. You can argue with the wall or those who want to argue. If you can't disagree with someone & be civil about it, it's not my problem.

[blairdii]

You probably already know who I am, and I’ve come here to give my piece of opinion.

2023 season, Max literally wins almost 90% of the season (Carlos one race hehe always keeping this close to my heart). Everybody saying that Max is a machine, nobody even doubting his strength, his performance, the car is fucking fantastic because their engineering team is amazing and they have Newey.

And I mean, understandable, because Max is effectively fucking amazing in the car.

Across 2024 and 2025 season Lando Norris starts to win and suddenly it’s not the driver but it’s the car, the car is illegal, McLaren used a trick, McLaren did not follow the rules.

Can’t it be that they just have a fucking good team? That they built a good car, period? That they have fucking good drivers? That they only had a fucking good car just last year and that’s the reason why Lando has only ever started winning since (what a coincidence!) last year?

Is it just because Lando is not Charles or Lewis? (Of course it’s because of that).

And then they want to say this sport is British biased… mate they are hating on the Englishmen as if they killed their dogs.

the one thing this fandom has is fucking denial, because 80% of them refuse to accept reality, and try to push their fake, insanely ludicrous narratives all because they can't deal with the fact that max is no longer dominating due to LANDO NORRIS. and i hope they know that no one else but him has broken max's streak, and there probably won't be another chance for f1's longest domination run to be broken, in which their own drivers have a chance to do so.

honestly, this season is gonna be too long for me to continue being affected by the bullshit people spew online, saying 'what has lando done to deserve a fast car' and i legit felt such visceral delirium because this new height of degeneracy is pissing me off. if anybody in that team deserves a fast car, it's him, and i'm rotting on that hill. i love how threatened those fans feel tho, it gives me great gratification that lando's talent is now truly shining and it bothers them so much that their grasping for the lowest hanging fruit to try negate that.

in their eyes, it's either mcl has a shit car, and they're a shit team for that, or they have a fast car, and they're still shit, but also illegal. okay 😂

anyways, idk what they mean by this sport is 'british biased', ab21 wouldn't have happened if it was but i digress. people, i urge you, severely urge you, to stop being in love with your keyboards, and cease frying your brains with twitter academy. matter of fact, if this is what you call british bias, i hope it gets worse for yall

[restinslices]

Silly little request but how do you think LKB would dress like casually? Like once every blue moon they have a day off and ding need to wear their uniforms? Can you do this in bullet points?

Them not in their uniforms is such a normal concept but it seems so weird for them if you know what I mean. Like, wdym they don’t wear those outfits to sleep? Also this is probably shorter than other posts because it’s about outfits, yk?

Bi-Han

Black. Moving on-

On some real shit though, I feel like this man’s entire wardrobe is in greyscale 

Someone’s like “hey there’s this event coming up! Can you wear a blue shirt?”

You’d think he’d have blue but nope. Nothing but blacks and greys and maybe a white in there 

I saw a post of biker Bi-Han and I definitely see it now 

Idk if the pictures imma attach at the end are really biker tho so that’s why I’m saying mainly blacks 

Like Elsa, the cold doesn’t bother him anyway so jackets aren’t really a thing he has to wear. He kinda just does because it makes the outfit look better 

That’s all the brain power he puts into it though because this man doesn’t care about his wardrobe at all 

He cares enough to not look sloppy but he doesn’t care about piecing shit together or brands and designer. If you look closely you can see he’s wearing the same shirt he was wearing yesterday 

He wears black because he’s still thinking like an assassin. The whole “I shouldn’t be noticeable” thing 

Which is wild when you think about how he’s definitely noticeable in that blue outfit but idk

He also wears black because… he doesn’t know 

He checked his closet and realized that shit looked like a black void but refuses to actually wear more color 

I don’t see him accessorizing much either. He only carries stuff he can fit in his pockets 

Kuai Liang

Lazy 

Bi-Han adds a jacket for a bit of razzle dazzle but Kuai Liang doesn’t 

In all fairness, he gets hot easily (this is stereotypical but idc) so a jacket isn’t gonna work 

He wears the most basic t shirts and pants 

Like he legit got the same white shirt 50 times 

The shit is despicable 

I don’t think he adds many accessories either. He probably doesn’t carry much on him 

Long sleeves never really happen either 

Honestly I don’t think of any them dress with any special aesthetic in mind

But him? Extra lazy

I am being so serious when I say he buys the same clothes over and over again. He forgets he has a white t shirt in his closet so he buys another and the cycle repeats 

Probably doesn’t care as much because what are the chances he’ll be out of uniform?

You know how people say men's outfits are so boring? He’s the main example they use because there’s no personality with his shit 

I don’t see him doing much on his off days though so that’s probably why he just throws something on

He’s just getting dressed to go grocery shopping 

Tomas Vrbada 

The one with the most style 

Which isn’t saying a lot 

Wears multiple layers 

Why do I think this way? Idk. But if I said they all dress the same, it’d be boring so here we are

He probably has a normal type of body heat since he’s not a pyromancer or cryomancer so he’s wearing hoodies and jackets because he’s genuinely cold 

He accidentally has style 

Wearing a hoodie and jacket is stylish to people for whatever reason. He doesn’t get it but he’s like “yeah, I definitely have fashion sense. It’s definitely not because I’m cold all the time. That just doesn’t sound like me”

May accessorize a bit but not as much 

As a whole I think accessories can become heavy and get in the way and our boys gotta be ready to bust a move if something pops off. Just because they’re off duty doesn’t mean they’re not paying attention or in danger 

So that’s why our boys travel light 

He has those smoke bombs and shit so he might have a little pouch with him but I don’t think he’d carry a backpack. Goes back to being too heavy 

If something can’t fit in a pouch, it’s staying home 

Dresses in neutral colors. I don’t think any of them are necessarily into bright colors 

Doesn’t have the same exact clothes but wears them the same exact way. His outfits look like a skin variation 

He’s doing his best 

Remember all I do for you because imagining them in normal clothes fucked me up more than I’d like to admit

[7ndipity]

I thought about something and I can't help but laugh 😆

I'm absolutely terrified with spiders and I really hate wasps. Sometimes, when I see a spider on me, I slap it away with a hysterical scream. So imagine if the spider lands on one of the members!🤣 our poor Hobi🤣🤣 he would be sooo terrified!🤣

I know it's not nice to do that but I'm really scared whenever I see a spider. Sometimes, I even cry and can't breathe correctly. I've panic attack if the spider is bigger than a nail. It's weird but I can't control my fear. So sometimes, I just slap them away to protect myself.

Spider Landing on Them

Warnings: Mentions of spiders(obvi), just crack

A/N: I was the same way when I was younger(still kinda am, tbh). Like I can appreciate them for their design/role in nature and all, but I really don’t want them on me.(Also, I wrote this as a crack post, cause we need a laugh.)

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin: He would be screaming and flailing all over the place, you’re risking your own safety trying to get close enough to help him.

Yoongi: I feel like he’d be pretty chill about it, just knocks it off or moves it to a plant like it’s no big deal. Uses it as a metaphor on the next album.

Hobi: He’s flipping the fuck out just like Jin, screaming so loud that he’s setting off car alarms. Needs about three days to recover.

Namjoon: If it's just a lil guy, he’ll be cool and move it to a plant or smth. If it’s big tho, he’s swatting and cursing all over the place, probably breaks a lamp.

Jimin: He goes through about fifty ideas of how to get it off him(a few including a flame thrower), before just swatting it and running.

Taehyung: Legit fakes a heart attack and plays dead in hopes it’ll run away in shame. If that doesn’t work, he just swats it.

Jungkook: He kinda likes bugs, so I think he’d be calm. Gives it a name, takes it to dinner and drops it back at home. They’re going out again on Friday.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz