#i STILL can't listen to final duet without crying

[celestiachan]

16 year old me crying about Omori 🤝 20 year old me crying about NITW

[lyricsofravensong]

The beat of a longing heart

• Jake x MC • hurt/comfort, fluff • ~ 1 675 words + a chat•

• request by Anon:  hey, i don't know how to start this ask but... well i got the news that my favorite drummer has passed away and i can't deal with it without thinking about jake comforting MC... i think this is weird and I must be mixing things up, but it's a comforting thought...you are my favorite writer on tumblr out of all the blogs and i am always happy to read your works so if you are accepting requests could you please write something about jake and mc? thank you😢❤️

• Your evening was supposed to be a sad song until the end, but then an unexpected melody appears from the rain.

A/N: Here it finally is! 🌠 Thank you for the request dear anon, I hope you're doing well. 💕 Sorry again for being so slow! 😖

I wasn't sure if you wished for a chat or a written story, so I combined them a little. :) I was really struggling with the editing but this is the best I can offer at the moment and I don't want to make you wait any longer. I hope so much I'm not letting you down and this story gives you the comfort you were missing. 💚

And thank you @dreamer-writer-fangirl for the encouragement! ❤

When you're happy, the beat of the music resonates with your cheerful heart; it dances and flutters in every corner of your body, making you feel powerful and alive.

When you're sad, the lyrics of the songs portray the pain your heart is aching with; they poke and stroke every inch of your bleeding soul, challenging and healing.

The song of your evening starts with a heavy sigh escaping from your lungs. Disappointment burns in your throat, but you swallow it down painfully. It's not Jake's fault that the theme of your day had been nothing but a repeating chorus of a sad song, and it seems like the evening is going to continue the manner. But you can't deny that the absence of his presence is one note more to the chord of your grief.

Rain sets the tune by hitting the roof with a sound that's reaching the rumbling measures of a thunderstorm. The ambience of it is making you even more anxious.

The beat comes in as a pulse of your longing heart, echoing in every cell of your body. Your mind is helplessly out of tune and can't keep up with the racing tempo.

You give up on tears as the rain makes a crescendo that covers the voice of your sobbing. Your thoughts are a swirling mess of unsettling beats, counting every person there is for you to miss. A wave of sorrow floods over your soul and the pouring rain invades your brain until your tears turn to raindrops. 

You cry for a long time and the static rhythm of the rain is like a stereo to your feelings.

At first, the careful knocking on the door gets lost in the mixed concert of percussion going on in your head. When it comes again stronger, you sit up slowly. You have no intention of answering it, a single glance at your tear-stained face in the mirror confirms that. You're sure that the intruder will give up quickly since who in their right mind would be outside in that weather. The doorbell rings once and is followed by the uplifting tone of your phone receiving a message. 

Your heartbeat drops tragically as you read the text Jake had sent.

Tension builds up as you hurry to the door without a second glance at the mirror. The beat of your heart drums in your ears when you yank the door open. And then - every sound goes silent. 

There's Jake, standing in the rain outside your door. His black hair is dripping wet as well as his hoodie of the same color. In contrast to them, he's holding a white plastic bag in his hand, phone in the other. Your eyes meet his and you stare at each other equally shocked. The shaken expression on Jake's face indicates that you look as awful as you felt a second ago. 

"I can't stop the rain, but… here I am. Ready to hold you," Jake says and a hint of embarrassment appears on his face. You follow his every move as he puts his phone in the pocket of his hoodie and then - trying to figure out what to do with his freed hand - runs his fingers through his wet hair. 

"I hope you're not bothered by me intruding like this," he mumbles awkwardly, making a shy glance towards you.

Words get caught in your throat and come out pitifully feeble, "Or course not, but… how?" Your voice breaks and you have to gasp for breath. "How? Why?"

There's a clear twitch on Jake's face by the tearful sound of your voice. For a minute he looks almost panicked as he struggles to find the next words.

"I was getting this when you texted me." He lifts the plastic bag so you can see the logo of a nearby Chinese restaurant. "Rain offers some cover so it's safer for me to be out. I was so insanely worried about you that my legs just carried me here."

Your mind is gradually catching up with the new tempo of this turn of events. Another wave of tears is blurring your eyes and you slap a hand over your mouth to cover the weird grin spreading on your face.

"And I'm glad they did," Jake continues, pulling the corner of his lips into a sympathetic smile. "I'd hate to think of you being alone like that."

You shake your head in disbelief at this unexpected change of key in the earlier flatness of your emotions. You let out a trembling breath. A new verse in the song of your evening starts when you sprint out in the rain and throw yourself into Jake's arms. You bury your face into his chest and let out the forceful sobs. Jake drops the bag on the ground and wraps his arms tightly around you. 

The drumming of the rain fades to the background as you stand in its shower, crying the whole record of your sorrows over Jake. He listens to it quietly and doesn’t let go even when you raise your hand to wipe your nose on your sleeve. Gradually your weeps quiet down along with the rain which is throwing the last separate drops on your already damped clothes. You rest your head on Jake’s shoulder and squeeze the back of his hoodie. 

“Have I ever told you why I like the rain?” his voice asks softly beside your ear. 

“No,” you sniffle. “I don’t believe you have.”

“I like it because it reminds me of you.”

“Why is that?” You raise your head to look at Jake’s face, forcing him to loosen his grip which he fixes by resting his hands behind your lower back. 

“It was pouring when I contacted you for the first time,” he smiles. “That was the day my life changed. For me, rain symbolizes the unpredictability of life. I feel like anything is possible on a rainy day.”

“That’s something you just proved to be true,” you laugh and brush a strand of hair aside from his forehead. Jake stares at your face with such intensity that you suddenly become very aware of your swollen eyes and runny nose. You blush and lower your head.

“I’m sorry about crying so much. I know I look hideous.”

Jake sets his hand gently on your cheek, making you look up at his face again as he examines yours even closer. 

“No, you’re still fascinating.” His whisper makes your heart sing with emotions you have never heard so vividly before. 

“My face is all swollen and full of tears…” you splutter in loss of words. 

Jake’s smile only widens and he wipes your cheeks tenderly with his fingers. “They’re just raindrops.”

You chuckle, “Then you can stop the rain after all.”

Tears of the sky are still dripping from the trees and corners of the roof all around you. They form an uneven rhythm of a harmony you’re now hearing differently; not as an echo of your pain, but more as a ballad for sadness.

But sadness is not the theme of your feelings anymore when you share the Chinese with Jake on the couch in your living room. No food has ever tasted so delicious as this slightly soaked and chill portion of noodles eaten straight from the container, taking turns of using the one pair of chopsticks Jake had with him.

The second verse of your evening is composed from comfort. After the food is finished and Jake’s drenched hoodie is drying on the back rest, you lean against his shoulder and slowly give lyrics for your sadness by telling him all about your previous distress. His t-shirt is wet too, but you forget it when his arm wraps around you, pulling you closer to his side. 

Jake's presence is a lot like music; without saying much he still makes you feel understood and healed. His comfort is mainly instrumental but filled with so many soothing nuances of warm touches and thoughtful nods. He is the melody your evening missed. He is the lyrics for your love and the stereo for your desire; resonating stronger than the drumming of the rain. He makes you believe that just like music, your feelings are also made to be shared with your loved ones. And as you let your head fall to his lap and turn on your back to meet the softness of his eyes, you realize that this one you love very much. 

Rain starts a new solo on the roof with full force as the song of this evening comes to the bridge. Jake bends down to you, his intention written clear on his face. Still he stops hesitantly right above your mouth, pausing the music just before the beat drops. But your heart is singing and you hit the play by reaching your hand behind his head and pulling him down to your lips. The kiss launches a full symphony inside you and every note makes you yearn for more. 

On a short rest between kisses you caress Jake’s cheek and say, “Now I hope it will never stop raining.”

“I thought you hated it,” Jake points out. 

“Not anymore,” you mumble while your attention is drawn to the way Jake’s mouth forms the words he speaks and how his lips are tuning into an amused smile. 

“What made you change your mind?” he asks. 

“No one in their right mind would go outside in that weather, so you have to wait here until the rain is over.” 

When you're in love, music understands your every feeling; the fluttering happiness, the aching yearning, and the healing comfort. All the lyrics tell the story of the two of you, of every smile and tear you’ve had. 

A perfect harmony is formed when two beats of two longning hearts meet each other in a beautiful duet. 

This song of your evening does not end yet, the music of your hearts continues beating in the calming dusk of a rainy day.

_____________________

It was actually raining every time I wrote this. 🤭☔

[angelhummel]

If you could only have 3 episodes of Glee to watch for the rest of forever. Which ones would you chose?

What if you could only have 3 of the songs?

oh god that's such a tough choiceee. especially the song one bc omg my "glee favorites" playlist is over 500 songs lmao

Okay so for episodes, it's not going to be my actual three favorites. It would be something that I enjoy for the whole package. Whereas something like Prom Queen, while it's in my actual top 3, it's only there bc of Klaine. The rest I can just carve out and throw away. So if I picked it, it would be like picking a 10 minute episode of Glee, you know?? And I can't have that, I need all 42 minutes. So I'd pick...

New New York. Which is my over all favorite episode anyway. But it's got most of my favorite characters, it's in the New York setting, which I love. There's a ton of wonderful Klaine content. It's funny, it has some really good music, and I do enjoy it from start to finish!

Laryngitis. Best episode as far as music goes, let’s be real. I love almost everything about it. The storylines, the humor, the focus on Mercedes and Kurt. It’s a great Kurt story that tugs at the heartstrings without pissing me off too much bc of the hell he goes thru lol. It’s a good mix of serious, fun, and emotional and it’s a big highlight of s1

Journey to Regionals. Okay I figure I have to have one competition ep on here, right?? It’s the best season finale, the best competition ep, best set list, the best bittersweet ending bc they don’t win. Quinn has Beth, everyone sings a sad song to Mr. Schue that he almost deserves. I see my babies crying and I start crying. There’s a lot of good quotes. It’s very emotional and wonderful and top tier Glee

Songs are a lot harder. But I’m gonna go with the ones that are fun and I love singing along to, that I’m just always in the mood to hear

Rose’s Turn. Still the most played song on my old ipod. Love belting this one out super dramatically, and it’s one of, if not THE best Kurt solo imo

Somebody Loves You. Just a fun duet and it makes me think of happy dancing Klaine acting silly together, and that’s nice!

Valerie. The superior version of the song lol. I can’t just listen to the original anymore tbh. Santana killed it and I love thinking about her and her amazing voice and stage presence while performing

So those are my answers! Ty for the questions <3 

[creambunnie]

Break

YoungKXReader

Fluff Angst

You smiled widely when you saw him laughing on TV. You love him so much. He had went through a lot to be someone this great. A great artist, a great musician. He's a genius, you wouldn't deny that. You were happy you were able to support him during his troubled days. You managed to comfort him and cheer him up. Your wish was to be by his side forever. But sometimes, you wanted to be selfish too. You wanted him all for yourself. You didn't want to share him with thousands of people.

You chuckled and switched off the TV once you saw him leaning down to let his duet partner whisper into his ears among the busy crowd. You knew it was only for work. But you can't help but to feel jealous when he is around other women. You knew he was loyal. He was the nicest person you have ever met. Your heart just tightens when other girls get close to him. Was it your insecurity? Your anxiety? Your trust? You were confused.

*Younghyunnie♡*

The name popped up on your screen. You sighed and slowly unlocked your phone.

' Hey babe, I may come back late tonight. I have to help Sumin with her debut track. Just eat dinner first alright? ' . -Younghyunnie♡

You gulped and prevented yourself from crying. You replied him with an 'okay' and went to your shared bedroom. You knew Sumin was just a trainee Brian was helping out. But Sumin is such a beautiful girl and a talented girl. You could never beat her. You lied down on your bed and stared at the ceiling. It had been almost a week since Brian came home late because of his schedules and him helping the trainee out. Of course he tried his best to come as early as possible. But by the time, he was already very tired. You missed him. You didn't need him to be with you everyday, you just wanted a few hours from him where you could catch up with him and tell him your stories about your new online business. You didn't have the appetite to eat anymore. You just wrapped your body with your blanket and stared into space.

You were startled when you heard the front door being unlocked. You looked at the clock. It was almost 1am. You slipped out from your blanket and went out to welcome him. You gave a small smile as he saw you. "You're not asleep?".He asked softly. You shook your head and stood in front of him, waiting for him to arrange his shoes before greeting him with a hug. "I can't sleep. I missed you so much,". You whispered.

Brian carressed your hair and pecked the top of your head. "I missed you too Baby,". You pulled away from the hug and stared into his eyes. He smiled and carressed your cheek with his thumb. Brian suddenly frowned and carressed your eyebags. "Have you been crying, Baby? Why are your eyes swollen?". You chuckled and just gave him a smile. Brian pulled you to the sofa and sat down beside you. "If there's something bothering you, please tell me,". He asked gently.

Your eyes began tearing up. He was too nice. You were afraid of hurting this fragile being for confessing your true feelings and thoughts. You took a deep breath before facing your fiance.

"Look, I understand you and I support you with everything that you do. But, I can't help it. I feel hurt when other girls get close to you. I know you are just doing your work. But you are so nice to everyone that they might misunderstand your kindness as flirting. I'm not trying to control your life or whatever, I'm just, I don't know. One of the reasons I fell for you was your kindness. And it is no doubt others might too. plus, I know I'm not much compared to your talented duet partner or the beautiful trainee. I'm just afraid of losing you,".

You expected Brian to comfort you and give you a hug. But his reaction surprised you. Brian frowned and shook his head. He suddenly raised his voice at you.

"So you're saying that I might cheat on you with my colleagues? Don't you trust me? Am I that bad? Honestly, I'm your fiance, not just a mere boyfriend. How could you think badly like that of me?".

You shook your head and stood up, towering above him. "No! That's not what I meant!".

Brian scoffed and rolled his eyes. "That's what exactly you were implying on. I trust you so much but you don't trust me?".

You stomped your feet to stop him. "Stop! I was just trying to tell you my insecurities! I was not accusing you of anything!".

You squated and hid your face between your palms as sobbed.

"And i'm just trying to defend myself." Brian said coldly.

Your eventually cried loudly as you heard the tone in his voice.

He was silent for a moment as your cries filled the apartment.

You felt Brian squatting down. He wrapped his arms around your body and hugged you before peeling your hands away from your face. Brian cupped your face and wiped your tears.

"I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to shout,". He whispered before leaning in for a kiss.

You quickly pushed him away and stumbled as you tried to stand up.

"No Younghyun, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of making a kiss as the solver. A kiss that makes everything back to normal. A kiss that makes me 'forget' what the problem is. The kiss will never solve the discomfort I'm feeling just like that. I, I need a break. A break from you."

You managed to say as you quickly took your coat that was hanging beside the front door. Brian tried to pull you back but you pushed him violently and left the house with a slamming door. You heard him crying out your name.

You hailed a cab and boarded it before Brian could chase you any further. You were grateful

the road was still busy despite the time.

~

You stayed at your bestfriend's house and told her everything. She understood your feelings and tried as much to comfort you and advise you. She was the best bestfriend you could have. You know she is a very wise person. She always have the best things to say. You felt blessed for having her in your life.

You were watching a movie with your bestfriend in her bedroom when you felt your phone vibrate for the nth time since the day you left him alone at home. But this time, it wasn't his name. It was your friend's name. Your friend who introduced you to Day6. Who introduced you to Brian. Who is in the band with Brian. Park Sungjin.

'Urm, mind telling me why the hell Younghyun is staying at our dorm for 3 days and being a mess?' - Sungbob

You sighed as you replied him.

'We had a small fight.' -me

You rolled your eyes when you read his next text.

'Yeah small fight my ass. Why is he singing his emo song from 8 years ago, crying to sleep and calling your name in his sleep?' -Sungbob

You showed your bestfriend the messages and she asked if you were feeling better and suggested you to check on your apartment since Brian wasn't staying there for the past 3 days. You hesitated but you knew her suggestion was the right thing to do. You also didn't want to bother her for a long time. You decided to stay for a bit more before getting ready to go back home.

She accompanied you back home, afraid that you were still unstable. You thanked her for welcoming you and for advising you. The two of you shared a hug before she went back.

You slowly unlocked the front door. You were relieved as the house was empty. He wasn't there. You went to your shared bedroom and shut your eyes immediately to calm yourself down.

The mirror on your wardrobe was smashed and there was a little bit of blood smeared around it. You massaged your temple. *what the hell was he thinking* You thought. You quickly cleaned the scattered glass and wiped the smashed mirror clean.

You contemplated but switched on the radio knowing he was guesting on your favourite station.

"So YoungK ssi, the first song that you're going to sing for us is a song from 8 years ago?". The DJ started.

Your heart clenched as you heard his voice. He had been trying to call you but you of course ignored him. After 3 days, you finally heard your favourite soothing voice.

"Ah yes, this song is very important to me. This song depicts how I would feel if I actually let go of someone I love. I hope people could relate to this song. It is called, Without You.".

Your tears flowed no matter how many times you had listened to the song. His voice, his emotions, your situation. You were still afraid. Afraid of losing him. You thought you would be happy when he came back. But the moment he stepped into the apartment, your ego got over you.

"Oh, you're finally back. I missed you so much. I'm really sorry. I will never leave you. I assume you listened to the radio just now and I promise you, the song was for you. My feelings for you. I can't live happily without you,". Brian started as he saw you sitting on the sofa. He sat in front of you all the way as he spoke.

You knew you weren't suppose to do it but you rolled your eyes and turned away from him.

"You sure it's not for your duet partner or the pretty trainee or any of the girls around you?".

You heard him sigh as he tried to hold your hands. You pulled your hands away and said strictly. "Don't touch me." . You quickly stood up and before going to your bedroom, you pointed to the kitchen and said coldly.

"I don't know if you already had dinner but if you're hungry, there's some leftover pizza from my lunch. I reheated it." .

~

He stayed outside as you stayed in the bedroom. As you were getting ready for bed, Brian finally entered the room. He slipped in the bed and turned his body towards you. He stretched his arms to hug you but you quickly sat up and pulled a pillow. You put the pillow in between the both of you. "Don't touch me.". You glared at him. You pulled the blanket over your body and turned away from him before he could say anything. You heard Brian sighed as he lied down on the bed slowly.

You woke up as the sunlight hit you. You tried to get up but strong arms were wrapped around you. The pillow in the centre was now at your feet. You wanted to push his arms away but he tightened his grip and pulled you closer. Your face was buried on his chest. "Don't touch me." You mumbled.

Brian chuckled and carressed your hair. He pecked the top of your head.

"Let me speak now, Baby. I sincerely apologise for raising my voice at you. I was tired and I know you were too. I was just hurt knowing that you were feeling that way. I would never leave you. I love you. After being away from you for only 3 days, I realised that was how you might feel when I was always coming home late. I'm so sorry. When you said you missed me, I thought of it lightly. I'm sorry for not making time for you. I'm sorry for letting you bottle up everything, not having me to let out your feeling to. I'm sorry for asking only when I realised that you had been crying. I'm so sorry. I love you baby. If I don't, would I have proposed to you? You know very well that I take my relationships seriously. I don't want you to hurt yourself by having bad thoughts. Thank you for always supporting me baby. Thank you.".

He tightened his hug when your body started shaking. He felt his shirt getting wet as your sobbings filled his ears. He carressed your back, comforting you. He sniffed as his eyes get teary. You felt his tears dropping on your shoulder. Your sobs got louder as you let out all your feelings.

"Young--Younghyun?". You stuttered.

He hummed, encouraging you to continue.

"I'm sorry for leaving you like that. I was hurt too that you shouted at me. I'm sorry for thinking bad about you. I was just jealous and insecure. I'm sorry for ignoring your calls and texts. I love you too.". You managed to breathe out before you started sobbing again.

Brian continued carressing your back. He pulled away from the hug to look at you. He wiped your tears before kissing your forehead. He cupped your face and leaned in. "I love you so much,". He whispered before capturing your lips with his.

He pulled away and pecked your nose before pulling you into a hug again.

"I will try my best to be better. I will hear out your feelings and try to come home earlier and spend time with you. You are my first priority and I should know that better. I will not kiss you just to 'solve' the problem. I will kiss you after making it up to you to show you that I really love you.".

You finally hugged him back and snuggled your face on the crook of his neck. "I missed you."

all pictures credits to the rightful owners.

[richiefuckfacetozier]

Hey, you asked me to send my request to this blog for the one shots of Reddie's first dates from the Losers club chats (the one at the quarry and the one at Swirl World), so here it is! Thank you so much for saying yes, I can't wait to read them, again, you're amazing😊

Here is part 1 of your request! Sorry it has taken so long. I was trying to write in first person for a change of pace, but it was hard since I haven’t really done it before. I hope you like it!

Not A Date vs A Date

By @thetheatregal and @sam-i-am2468

Based off this text chat from our side blog @wearethelosersclub

Part 1: Not A Date - Eddie Kaspbrak POV

I knew this was not a real date. Something I had to keep reminding myself over and over. That didn’t stop me from staying up half the night worrying about it. Trying to calm my thoughts but tossing and turning instead. Now I had 45 minutes to kill because it also didn’t prevent me from getting ready way too early to make sure everything was perfect.

I steadied myself in the mirror, flattening my hair and straightening my polo shirt thinking about how I got myself into this “date” situation. You see, after having a huge fight with my best friend, Richie, about a guy who had asked me out. He wanted to make it up to me.

So he told me…we should go on a date.

I was not sure what to think when he suggested it and I’m sure he didn’t realize the complete mess he turned me into. I was fairly certain my brain stopped working for a solid hour before I agreed to do it. He was probably joking and being his flirty Trashmouth self, but the longer I thought about the idea of my first date being with my best friend, it sounded perfect.

Not to mention I am completely and utterly in love with him. How could this possibly be a bad idea?

I spent the 45 minutes I had until Richie came to pack a picnic basket I made. Then I unpacked it then packed it again with food we both love: roast beef sandwiches, chips, pesto pasta, sodas, a canister of hot chocolate, brownies, and an assortment of candy. The candy was mostly for my sugar toothed date.

Ugh…but it’s not a real dateeee.

Richie drove up to my house right on time and I dashed out before my mom could ask any questions. He smiled broadly as I hopped in the front seat. He looked effortlessly attractive with his messy black hair and big adorable red glasses. It is honestly unfair to my heart. He handed me the blankets he brought to keep us warm and his portable CD player. Then drove us to our NOT date and we caught up on everything.

We actually had a lot to catch up on because our fight lasted 3 days.

3 miserable as fuck days. I spent the first in my room pretending to be sick, crying a lot and wishing Richie would text me. He had sent a slew of messages yelling at me and saying I deserved better than the guy who asked me out. I was SO confused. It was unclear if he was trying to protect me as a friend or…something more.

The second day consisted of more moping, watching sad movies, eating all the ice cream in the fridge, and re-reading the horrible texts until they were permanently ingrained in my brain.

The third day, Bill forced his way over. He brought me more ice cream, bless his heart, and we watched The Notebook. I’m a cliché, I know. When we finally got around to talking about how Richie and I were going to make up and stop fighting, I was adamant about it not being my responsibility.

“He yelled at me.” I said to Bill in frustration. “I shouldn’t have to text him. He wants to be a dick? Fine. Let him live up to his name.” I remember feeling so mad that my hands were shaking.

“Eddie, I know you are st-stubborn but just text him.” Bill pleaded.

“No.”

“Do it for the Losers?” He coaxed.

“No, fuck you all.” I was in fine form that day.

“Wow, ok.” Bill stayed silent contemplating a new tactic. “You cuh-could give him your secret Santa gift?”

“Why?” I eyed him suspiciously.

“Peace offering wuh-without having to say a wuh-word.”

I considered it bitterly. He was right. I could leave the gift at Richie’s house and not bother with talking. I did want to give it to him. It was a mix CD of songs that remind me of us. “Alright, but you have to bring it to his house.” I pointed at his chest aggressively. “I’m not leaving and it is your idea.”

I crossed my arms petulantly and he frowned, “You’re such a baby.”

I wish I was Richie’s baby. Yikes. Where did that thought come from? I glanced back at Bill who was giving me an odd stare, so I stuck my tongue out and claimed I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

Anyway, it all worked out. We forgave each other. Things are fine.

And now we are on a date.

A “not date” date. Though I wished it was real because Richie is so hot, and he was right, going on a date with someone you like is way better than wasting it on someone who you think is nice. Even though my hands were sweaty, the butterflies were killing me and I almost passed out. It’s not a real date, get that in your head.

We went to the quarry for our NOT date, which was my idea because that’s where Bill introduced us. It’s where we became friends. We spent some of the best summers of our lives messing around and having a blast.

Which meant it was about as romantic a gesture as I could think of to make.

As adorable as my idea was, actually eating by a lake in December in Maine was a MISTAKE. I wrapped myself in four layers of clothing and still could not handle the cold. I shivered from head to foot. Every time I spoke, my teeth chattered and Richie would laugh.

“Sto-o-op fu-fucking laughin’!” I complained.

“He speaks! You’ve barely said anything since we got here.” Richie chuckled as he placed another blanket around me.

“I’m c-cold. It’s hard.” I responded anxiously.

“I wish I was hard.” Richie wiggled his eyebrows in that annoying way he does.

“Beep Beep.” I was not silent because of the cold. I was silent because I was so nervous my mind could not think straight.

Not that I ever think straight around Richie anyway.

We ate our sandwiches and Richie talked extra admittedly about something that happened with him and Stanley. I was busy watching his lips move and wishing I could kiss them.

Except THIS IS NOT A DATE.

Fuck, I wish this was a date.

There is this way Richie speaks to me, which is completely unique to our relationship. He checks my eyes making sure I am focused on every detail of his story. He usually wraps his arms around my shoulders or hooks his arm with mine so that my attention is constantly on him. He will make crude comments to get me to talk to him. Even when we are in a group, it always feels like every word is directed at me.

Maybe that’s my wishful thinking.

I also think he worries that I will get tired of him. I don’t see that ever happening. If anything, I am obsessed with him in every way. I love the sweet way he pushes his hair out of his glasses. Speaking of his glasses, sometimes I keep track of how many times he adjusts them on his face. He is at 11 times for today. I adore how he cannot walk straight to save his life and is extremely clumsy. I appreciate how easy it is to talk to him about anything and everything. I never feel judged for something I say. I always breathe a little easier when he is near me.

“Why didn’t you wear gloves? Eds, you are usually so careful about that.” Richie looked ready to grab my hands and warm them up but he held himself back.

Damn him. I purposely didn’t wear gloves so he would hold my hands, but of course…this isn’t a date so I shouldn’t be so desperate.

When he’s around, I always gravitate toward him craving his nearness. Richie’s the only person who I would honestly beg to just touch me. Any time he does, I pretend to be annoyed but usually lean in closer. Sometimes, he will hold my hand then swing it back and forth. If he tries to pull away I squeeze his palm without looking at him, so he will let his hand linger longer. I have been in an incredible amount of denial about how I felt for him for so long that I swear I don’t know how to act around him anymore.

At some point, Richie turned his CD player on. He skipped through a bunch of tracks to whatever CD was in there then let it play. I took a sip of the soda I was drinking then immediately spat it out. I started choking as Take My Breath Away played through the speakers. He patted my back and I put up a hand to signal I was alright.

I most certainly was not alright.

“We don’t need to listen to my mix CD for you.” I said hurriedly reaching over to turn it off. Richie grabbed my arms and pushed me back into my spot.

“I love this mix.” Richie grinned still holding my arms. I felt my cheeks heat up from the contact. His face was really close to mine. His eyes seemed to consider whether to kiss me as they flickered to my lips. He even leaned in a little more and his warm breath hit my face. I didn’t move because I was too focused on slowing down my pounding heart. Instead of kissing me, he reluctantly let go of my arms and sat back.

Guess he doesn’t want to kiss me.

Fuck my life.

The beginning of the mix CD was friendship songs but about halfway through were only love songs. Guess where Richie started the mix at? THE LOVE SONGS. He is a monster. As each love song played, I internally screamed at myself for how obvious and pathetic I am.

I waited for Richie to make fun of me for it but he didn’t comment on me being hopelessly in love with him. Instead, he mentioned how Ed Sheeran’s Perfect Duet was his favorite on the track. I put that song on because it basically described our entire relationship. Not that I would say that aloud.

The chords of the next song started to play. “This is my favorite.” I said quietly.

“Yeah? Elvis Presley? He was the King of sex and roll.” Richie smirked at me.

“I think you mean ROCK and roll.” I grumbled but smiled despite myself.

Richie barked out a laugh. “Then I will take the title, King of sex.” I don’t even want to talk about how much that line made my body heat up. Who needs four layers of clothes and two blankets when you have Richie fucking Tozier blatantly flirting with you?

Wise men say only fools rush in

Hello wise men, my name is Eddie fool Kaspbrak.

But I can’t help falling in love with you…

I wish Richie would stop staring so intently at the side of my face. I can feel myself fidgeting under his gaze.  

Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?

My mother would certainly think so. Gross, can I not think about my mother right now?

If I can’t help falling in love with you?

This song alone should have convinced Richie that I want something real.

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes s ome things are meant to be…

I believe we are meant to be. I wonder if he feels the same.

Take my hand, take my whole life too…

I was hyper-aware of how close Richie’s hand was to mine. There was roughly a half inch space between our pinkies.

For I can’t help falling in love with you…

Ain’t that the fucking truth.

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes…

He is such an idiot, who would not hold my hand during our not real date.

Some things are meant to be…

Just as I was ready to give up hope and put my hand in my lap, Richie grabbed a hold of it as Elvis sang:

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I can’t help falling in love with you…

Richie’s calloused hands felt strong and confident against my soft ones. He entwined our fingers together slowly. I peeked at him and he was smiling to himself.

For I can’t help falling in love with you.

I truly can’t help it.

We parked outside my house for a bit before I went inside just talking. As the last bit of the conversation died, I can’t even remember what we were talking about, the atmosphere in the car changed. It was a moment where my body was asking for one thing but then my brain was saying what are you doing just say thank you and goodnight. I didn’t want to say thank you and good night. I wanted to tell him how much I craved for us to do this again but for real. I wanted to hold his hand and tell him he is an idiot but at least he is my idiot. I glanced over at Richie, who seemed to be waiting for something. I wondered in that moment how long a person could stare at another before it became uncomfortable.

I kept telling myself to stop staring and say something because I look like an idiot and I am probably freaking him out.

“Well thanks, as far as a first date goes it was far from ideal,” I watched as Richie began to frown, so I quickly waved my arms letting him know I wasn’t done. “What I mean is, if it was with anyone else I probably would be complaining about it to the group now but with you…with you we could have been anywhere and it would be perfect.”

“Damn Eddie, I think that was the nicest thing you ever said to me.”

“Yeah well…don’t get used to it,” I smiled as the dufus gave me the biggest grin in return.

Ugh, why don’t you love me?

“Thanks, Rich, goodnight.”

Quickly, I got out the car because I really didn’t know what else to say. We had been parked outside for a while and I wouldn’t want Ma to come out to check on what was happening and anyway I didn’t want things to get awkward. Where neither of us knew what to say and then I panic and get weird.

Walking up to my front door, I heard Richie’s car door slam and I turned to see what was wrong. He came running up to me and before I could open my mouth his lips were on mine.

He fucking kissed me!

It was short, okay maybe more of a brush of the lips but still. My heart raced, I got these dumb butterflies and literally my brain shut down.

When Richie pulled back, I could see that stupid smug grin on his face as he soaked up my reaction. I’m sure I looked like a deer caught in headlights but honestly, if you asked me my name right then I probably would not be able to answer.

“First dates are important but so are first kisses. Thought you deserved one from someone important too. You’re very welcome Eddie.” he said bowing as if he just performed his greatest performance.

So, of course, I did the only thing that my brain would allow me. I punched him in the stomach, causing him to stumble back ever so slightly as he grunted. I turned on my heel muttered ‘asshole’ and walked inside. See what I mean? I panicked and got weird.

I couldn’t help but turn back and watch as he walked to his car, with a little pep in his step. Clearly, that ruined nothing and I laughed thinking back to that dumb little kiss.

As far as not dates go, it was incredible.

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(@reddie-brasil you didn’t ask to be on this but i love ya)