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colour-outside-the-liness · 4 years ago

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Oh Disneyland Paris sounds fun yeah! Were you and your roommate already close then? I went to Walt Disney's world with my aunt and cousin when I was like 11 but it would've been way more fun if I could've taken my best friend with me for sure. Maybe we can go to the one in Paris now that she lives just 3h away from me! Oh I see, sounds like LA was really fun for you yeah! your roommate didn't mind third wheeling tho? Hahaha

Yeah Canada is beautiful but what I liked about it the most was the massive improvement in quality of life I had compared to where I was living before and just being able to be who I am and people accepting me for it. Not being worried about violence 24/7 felt pretty fucking great too. So yeah I highly recommend living there if you ever get a chance. But I am loving Portugal so far, people are a bit more judgemental here tho but I like that it's easier to travel to a lot of countries I've always wanted to go to. Everywhere you go there are pros and cons tho so sorting out priorities is key. But Toronto is my favourite of all the places I've been, before living there for a year I had already been two times!

Jesus 50 states, sometimes I forget how big the US is. And you can totally do it if you plan it out! After watching Bly Manor tho I really want to go to Vermont especially during autumn season looks really pretty! There's this fic I love (only the sun by prestonarchives) where Dani and Jamie go on a road trip from Vermont to Maine and I did their entire journey on Google maps street view bc I was so obsessed with this one chapter fanfic I had to immerse myself entirety in it hahaha. So now I want to go there irl. Here's the link if you haven't read it before!

https://bit.ly/3BLy4WR

Omg I totally remember reading that on CBML and being a bit confused bc I was like why would she think you can't see the moon from the great wall of China HAHAHA but I thought it was really funny and endearing yeah it's even funnier now that I know you said it irl haha.

Oh so ENFP-T means extraverted, intuitive, feeling and prospecting personality with a bit of turbulence. Which just means you're curious, perceptive, enthusiastic, an excellent communicator, festive and good-natured. On the other hand you can be disorganized, unfucosed, a people pleaser, overcommitted, too optimistic and restless.

I wonder what Jamies and Danis mbti are as well as their zodiac signs 🤔 I think Jamie might be an ISTP-A bc she's definitely an introvert, very practical, stubborn, assertive, layed back and energetic at the same time. And Dani is either an ENFP-T like you or an ESFJ-T with the whole selfless thing going on.

AE already made it canon that Jamie's an aries (and it makes sense) but I can't figure Dani out. I've thought about her being a leo ♌ bc she's generous, passionate, warm-harted and dominant in her own way and THE HAIR haha. But she's got some pisces ♓ vibes going on too...idk. aaand I'm back at it again with the astrology signs haha.

To be fair your recent drunken exp it was dark and at least you didn't think the road sign was a bear or something (don't know what kind of wild animals you've got over there) that you wrestled with and ended up in a ditch and your best friend let you believe that happened for 3 years up until recently haha. 😂 but yeah some things happen for a reason, having life threatening health issues doesn't sound great tho, but I guess it's a good thing it stops you from drinking too much and making dumb decisions. And hey maybe I secretly want that to happen again idk maybe moving countries is not exciting enough, I have to go out and make a complete drunken fool out of myself in a completely foreign place hahaha. I guess that did kinda happen last month when my best friend came to visit me from Spain and we got drunk on wine, I got lost on the way back home and it was way past curfew. 🤔 shit I'm 29 will I ever learn...

Episode 9 is 😢😍🥰😰😭🤬☠️ just the worst roller-coaster I didn't even know I was on. Haha I was more pissed off than heartbroken the first time I watched it ngl.

Well then maybe the way you do accents is friendly and funny so people can't really get mad at you haha. Like Dani! Oh so that's called a Geordie accent! I see, it's really really cool. AE said Jamie is from Lancashire but that's a whole county isn't it? Idk if there's a specific accent to this region. Knowing you speak kinda like Jamie is something else tho, I think if anyone who spoke like her ever talked to me irl I wouldn't be able to pay attention to what they were saying 😂 just the accent haha.

Oh so you already have 4k something words for it nice. I'm kinda starting to feel an obsession with this medieval AU growing in me, I made a Pinterest board just for it ngl hahaha but I'm still resisting creating anything for it, I did a face study yesterday for Dani and Jamie to see if I finally pick up the idea and just do it but my brain was still like "I don't want to do this rn" and was just being a little bitch about it so I'll just let it cook for longer see if we can reach an agreement eventually (if ever) haha.

Glad to hear you had a good weekend! Even if it left you feeling exhausted in the end. And yeah it makes sense for you to say you don't have favourites haha! Have a great week Colour, take care! 👋✨

Yeah me and my roommate have been friends since we were like 14 so when we went to Disney Land we asked if we could be roomed together because we've been best friends for that long now... been best friends since school and now we live together. She's seen me at my best, my worst, has seen me in all my stages in life and has been there for a lot of the rough stuff I've been through and I've been there for all the stuff she's been through!! Nah she didn't mind at all we had some moments where me and my ex would just go and be a couple and have dates but my ex didn't want me travelling that far alone so invited my roommate too because she didn't like the thought of me flying 11hours alone or being in airports alone so my roommate came with me and we had a great time Awwh good I'm glad it was such a nice place and that you didn't worry about violence all the time but I'm so sorry you ever had to worry about that anyway that can't be easy. I would honestly love to live in Canada I really hope I get chance one day... I'm glad you're loving Portugal but sorry people are judgemental there but I am glad it's easy for you to travel around to other places... oh yeah every place has it's pros and cons I mean England has some pros but it sure has a lot of cons too so I know all about that Yeah America is SO big but I do want to get around all 50 states at some point and I am stubborn enough and determined enough to make it happen eventually even if I don't get around them all until I'm like 70 I'll make it happen haha!! No I haven't read that fic but it sounds amazing so I'll definitely check it out thank you for sending me the link Yeah... that really happened to me and it was just a dumb moment where I had this momentary lapse of knowledge in my brain and now I look back at that question and I'm just like... "you idiot" and this is why people are shocked when I get questions in quizzes right because I have said some really dumb stuff but I'm glad people found it funny and endearing... and I'm glad it makes it better to know I really said that haha Oooo I didn't know that, I like that and I think it's definitely fitting for me!! I think from what you've said about what ENFP-T means Dani could easily be that too and I don't know anything about the other one but I will take your word for it matching Dani because you know way more about this stuff than I do. I have no idea for Jamie though. And with zodiac signs I love that Amelia looked at Jamie and thought she was an Aries, as for Dani I have NO idea what her zodiac would be... in CBML she's a Leo but in MoU with what I have planned for her birthday she'd be a virgo but I don't know anything about zodiacs... all I know is all the pieces I've ever met have been the opposite of what Dani is so maybe that has something to do with their whole charts but I know a lot of other people always make her a Pieces and I trust what other people say about zodiacs more than what I know about them because I really know NOTHING about them haha Nah I knew it was a road sign because of how heavy and hard it was- nah we have no bears where I live... I don't think we have many dangerous animals where I live... got a couple of badgers that can be pretty aggressive but that's about it we don't have much that is scary here or at least not in the little part of England I live. Having life threatening health issues has been hard and since having my spleen removed in January (that was the surgery I needed to try and fix the issue I had) things are even harder now because I have to take antibiotics for the rest of my life to stop me getting any infections because if I ever get a chest infection now or a really bad cold it can be really dangerous but I take it all in my stride and not drinking is just a way to make sure the antibiotics actually work properly and to make sure nothing happens to me... and like you said, means I don't do anything dumb too... haha drunken stories are the best I have been lost a few times when I've been drunk... and I don't think you do learn, I have siblings that are

like 40 and still do dumb shit... I know at 27 I am still doing dumb shit too I don't think I'll ever learn haha 😂 Its such an emotional roller coaster and honestly I was just devastated the first time I watched it... no TV show or movie has ever made me cry the way Bly Manor did when I first saw it and it still makes me cry now. I can cry just thinking about that last episode. I definitely mean it in a friendly way so I hope it comes across like that. Yeah the accent in Billy Elliot is a Geordie accent and its my favourite accent there are other accents around the north that are called different things. Yeah Lancashire is a county and again in Lancashire there are loads of different accents I can't really pinpoint Jamie's down to a city I just know it's Northern. I'm from Yorkshire but don't have a strong Yorkshire accent I just have a Northern accent, like people never believe I'm from the place I'm from because I don't sound like I am but you can definitely tell I'm northern... honestly there are so many accents in England... you can drive for two hours in any direction in England and the accent will change like two times at least it's insane... see a lot of people say that but I am not a HUGE fan of the northern accent and I think it's because I grew up there. I much prefer Dani's accent to Jamie's but like I said to me, Jamie just talks normal there is no accent really haha Yeah 4k words for it but it's all jumbled up it's not like a chronological story yet it's just all over the place haha but I hope I can get it all structured properly soon!! Awwh good I'm glad you're already interested in this medieval AU!! That makes sense you're resisting creating for it but I think it's so cool you did a face study for Dani and Jamie even if you didn't wanna finish it I think letting things cook for a while is always a good idea if you're not in the right headspace right away I had such a good weekend but I am so tired and today I had a busy day too celebrating my roommate's boyfriend's birthday so I've had so many days that have been so busy and right now I am just really to sleep haha!! Yeah definitely don't have favourites but I have spent more time with one of my nieces than the others simply because I always look after her if her mum and dad are working and I'm not... like until I start this new job I am looking after her for an hour every day after school while she waits for her mum and dad to finish work but I don't have favourites haha!! Thank you so much I hope you had a great weekend and that you have a great week too!!

#lib3rtin33

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btsqualityy · 6 years ago

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BTS Toddler Series #30: Multilingual

Author’s Note: I did use Google Translate for the Korean translations. If something is wrong, it was not my intention. The English translation of what they say in Korean will be at the end of the sentence spoken. Hope you guys enjoy!

Kim Seokjin

“Kaiden, look who’s here,” you announced as you walked into the living room, Jin’s parents following behind you.

“Chin Mae!” Jin’s mother exclaimed and Kaiden quickly slid down off of the couch and ran over to her, throwing himself into her open arms.

“Halmeoni, Hal-abeoji,” Kaiden exclaimed, giggling when Jin’s mom pressed a kiss to the side of his head. (Grandma, Grandpa.)

“Neoneun neomu keojyeossda,” Jin’s father gasped dramatically as Kaiden hugged his legs. (You’ve gotten so big.)

“Naneun jigeum keun sonyeon-iya,” Kaiden stated proudly, and Jin’s mom chuckled as she ran her hand over his head. (I’m a big boy now.)

“Geulae neoneun,” she nodded before turning to look at you. “He looks even more like Jin now, if that’s possible.” (Yes, you are.)

“Doesn’t he?” You giggled, watching as Jin’s father picked Kaiden up and set him on his hip. “If we end up having another baby, let’s hope that one will look more like me.”

“You don’t want our children to look like your Worldwide Handsome husband?” Jin teased as he walked into the living room, stopping to give his mother a hug and a kiss and a half hug to his father.

“I mean, I’d like it to look like I had a hand in creating them too,” you pointed out.

“Don’t worry Y/N,” Jin’s father said. “Jeog-eodo chin maeneun abeojicheoleom haengdonghaji anhseubnida.” (At least Chin Mae doesn’t act like his father.)

“Hey, I can hear you,” Jin whined, while you giggled at what his father had said.

Min Yoongi

“Hi Kins,” you greeted her as she walked into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from her eyes since she had just woken up for the morning.

“Hi,” she mumbled, going straight over to Yoongi, who leaned down and picked her up before setting her on his lap.

“Hungry baby girl?” He asked as he rubbed her back softly, a chuckle escaping him when she nodded her head and stuck her thumb in her mouth as she laid her head on his chest.

“Do you want waffles or oatmeal?” You asked her, looking over at her and Yoongi.

“Oatmeal please,” she mumbled around her thumb.

“Ah, say that in Korean for me,” Yoongi requested and you rolled your eyes playfully. Yoongi had noticed that Kinsley’s Korean vocabulary was significantly smaller than her English one, so he had decided to work with her on it.

“Oteumiljuseyo?” She asked and you nodded your head, going to work on making it for her.

“And what about waffles? Can you say that?” Yoongi wondered.

“Wapeul?” She said as she looked up at Yoongi for confirmation and he nodded with a smile.

“Joh-eun jig-eob yeoja ag,” Yoongi praised as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. (Good job baby girl.)

Kim Namjoon

“Daddy!” Mason screamed as he ran into Namjoon’s office and Namjoon looked up in surprise as Mason dashed over to him.

“Whoa!” Namjoon huffed as Mason launched himself up onto Namjoon’s lap, making him laugh as Mason repeatedly tapped his shoulder. “What’s up Mase?”

“Haggyoeseo museun il-i iss-eossneunji chucheug?” Mason said excitedly. (Guess what happened at school?)

“What happened?”

“Seonsaengnim-i goyang-ileul haggyoe delyeo wassseubnida,” he rambled quickly and Namjoon almost didn’t catch what he’d said because he was gong so fast and his pronunciation was a little off. (My teacher brought her cat to school.)

“Did she?” Namjoon asked and Mason nodded quickly. “Did you pet it?”

“Geulae geuligo geugeos-eun maeu budeuleobjiman mopineun nae son jeonchee geollyeossda,” he giggled as he held his hands up. (Yeah and it was really soft but it’s fur got all over my hands.)

“Mase,” you called as you walked into Namjoon’s office, smiling when you saw him sitting on his Dad’s lap. “Are you in here talking your dad’s ear off about the cat from today?”

“Yeah, and in Korean,” Namjoon pointed out and you smiled proudly.

“Jal haess-eo,” you praised him, making him grin widely in response. “Why don’t you go wash your hands and I’ll come give you a snack, ok?” You said and Mason nodded before sliding down from Namjoon’s lap and walking out of the office. (Good job.)

“Have you noticed that he does that a lot lately? Speaking Korean,” Namjoon wondered.

“Have I? You’re asking this question to the person that was just in the car with him for 15 minutes, listening to him ramble in Korean about a cat,” you giggled, making Namjoon do the same.

Jung Hoseok

“Babo!” You heard Berkeley yell and your eyes widened at hearing the tone of her voice. (Stupid!)

“Dangsin-eun babo,” you heard Lennox retort and you walked out of your bedroom down the hallway to their bedroom, only to see them glaring at each other when you looked inside. (You’re stupid.)

“Hey! What is going on in here and why are you calling each other stupid?” You demanded to know as you walked inside and stood in front of them.

“Lennox took my book,” Berkeley said as she looked up at you. “And he didn’t ask first.”

“I don’t have to, it’s mines too,” Lennox snapped back.

“Hey, what’s happening?” Hobi wondered as he walked into the room as well and stood next to you.

“Lennox took Berkeley’s book and they were in here calling each other stupid in Korean,” you explained.

“What did I tell you two about calling each other names?” Hobi said sternly.

“But Daddy,” Berkeley tried to say but Hobi held his hand up, which made her stop talking.

“I don’t want to hear it. I told you both about being mean to each other multiple times,” he sighed heavily. “Taim aus,” he said and both of the twins pouted before heading to opposite corners of their room and sitting down in the corner. (Time out.)

“10 bun,” you said, waiting to get a nod from both of them before you and Hobi walked out of their room. (10 minutes.)

“God, I can’t wait for them to be out of this fighting each other phase,” Hobi groaned. “I thought twins were supposed to be best friends?”

“Best friends fight too babe,” you pointed with a giggle, making Hobi shrug and nod in agreement.

Park Jimin

“Mommy, Daddy,” Noah said as he walked into your bedroom, a small book in his hands.

“Yes Noey?” You asked as you looked up from your phone.

“Can we read a story?” He asked and you looked over at Jimin, who nodded.

“Sure, come up here mini me,” he said and Noah wasted no time in climbing up onto the bed and over Jimin’s body to settle in between the two of you.

“What book did you pick?” You wondered and Noah held it up so that you could see it and you couldn’t help but to chuckle. You and Jimin had been pretty adamant on Noah being fluent in Korean as well as English so the two of you had invested in some books that told the story in both Korean and in English.

“Can you read it Daddy?” Noah requested and Jimin chuckled as he took the book out of his hands.

“Why do I always have to read it when it’s in Korean?” Jimin whined.

“You talk it better than Mommy does,” Noah confessed and you gasped dramatically.

“I can speak Korean just as good as Daddy can,” you defended.

“Actually, you can’t,” Jimin spoke up. “Your pronunciation is still a little off sometimes.”

“The level of disrespect in this family is ridiculous,” you huffed.

“Yeah, it’s not nice when the shoe is on the other foot is it?” Jimin snickered.

“Daddy, eoseo,” Noah whined as he poked Jimin’s arm. (Come on).

“Al-ass-eo, al-ass-eo, jinjeonghae,” Jimin chuckled before opening the book and beginning to read. (Alright, alright, calm down.)

Kim Taehyung

“Mommy,” Spencer whined as she pulled lightly on your hand.

“Yes Spence?” You answered as you stirred the pot of tomato sauce in front of you with the hand that Spencer wasn’t currently trying to rip off.

“Can we practice Korean?” She wondered and you rolled your eyes lightly. Lately, Spencer had been on this kick of wanting to speak Korean as well as Taehyung was able to, and this led to you becoming her impromptu study partner and coach.

“Spence, we just practiced last night before you went to bed, remember?” You said, trying to sneak your way out of doing it.

“Need more practice,” she insisted. “Wanna be good like Daddy.”

“Alright,” you sighed, not being able to resist the pout on her face. “If someone asked you how old you are, how you would answer in Korean?”

“Naneun 3 sal-ida,” she replied carefully and you nodded your head. (I am three years old.)

“How about if they asked what’s your name?”

“Nae ileum-eun gimjin-ae,” she chirped and you smiled, knowing that she’d get that one right. (My name is Kim Jin Ae.)

“Ok, I have a really tricky one for you,” you said and Spencer’s eyes lit up at the challenge. “You ready?” You asked and she nodded quickly. “If someone asked what’s your favorite thing to do, how would you answer?”

“Oh,” she murmured, lowering her head as she thought for a moment. “naneun eommawa appawa hamkkehaneun geos-eul joh-ahabnida,” she replied slowly, making you grin at how well she’d said it. (I like being with Mommy and Daddy and Tannie.)

“Ulin neowa hamkkeissneun geos-eul joh-ahae,” you cooed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. (We like being with you too Spence.)

Jeon Jungkook

“Daddy?” Ava called as she walked into Jungkook’s office that was in your house, which doubled as both an office and his studio for making music and his GCFs.

“Yes Angel?” He said as he continued to focus on his computer in front of him.

“What’s Korean for not nice?” She asked as she leaned against his chair and Jungkook tore his gaze away from the computer monitor to look down at her.

“Johji anh-a,” he answered hesitantly. “Why do you need to know that?”

“There’s this boy at school who’s not nice,” she started to explain and Jungkook’s eyes widened.

“Is he bothering you Angel?” Jungkook questioned and Ava shook her head, which made him relax.

“He’s not nice to other people Daddy and my teacher said that we can’t tell people that they’re not nice so I wanna tell him in Korean,” she explained.

“Angel, you know your teacher can speak Korean too right?” He pointed out with a chuckle and Ava’s eyes widened.

“Oh,” she mumbled. “Well, I’m gonna tell him anyway.”

“You have to listen to your teacher though Ava,” Jungkook said seriously.

“Bulgongpyeong,” she muttered before standing up straight and storming out of his office. (No fair.)

“Naneun ttaettaelo geu aie daehae geogjeonghabnida,” Jungkook mumbled to himself before turning his attention back to the computer. (I worry about that child sometimes.)

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sarasfm · 5 years ago

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Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs

Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ? I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro

full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies

dormitory room: 105

birthday: 20 march 1995

soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza

favorite dish: efo riro

aesthetic: when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands

Bio Points

her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit

she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa

she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !

Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’

loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted ! was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states

her mom made some calls and went “ gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”

she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see !

Other Information

Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)

Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)

Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck

Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye

Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build

Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101

Personality

the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy.

she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu

easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready

rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart

she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming

is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand

she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer

just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich

Fun Facts

has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese

has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man

is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday

likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit

is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff

doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit

if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y

she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul

isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there

don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place

Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know

kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything

Possible Connections

crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok

flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her

enemies/angst !!! — or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that. so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!

fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !

friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right

mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”

anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu

( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )

#gallagher:intro

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phylumhearts · 6 years ago

Note

au where ansem the wise was f*cking around with dna as part of his research and ended up accidentally using his apprentices’ dna to make a red-haired purple-eyed baby girl. He obviously panics and gives it to some kindly old woman to raise as her granddaughter but long story short Kairi is the aeleus/dilan weird test tube baby: please discuss

[this got way out of hand! 2.3k, obviously aeleus/dilan, mostly fluffy af. sorry mobile readers if the readmore doesn’t work...]

Aeleus and Dilan stand at attention, wondering why they’ve been summoned. Sitting behind his desk, Ansem acknowledges them with a wave of his hand and they relax a little. There is a long pause before he speaks.

“My dear apprentices, you have stood by my side while I’ve worked to right my wrongs, and for that I am grateful. However, I have a final confession to make. In the first of my investigations of the heart, working alone, I attempted to create a new heart, and used material from the two of you to do so. My experiment was more successful than I’d imagined - I created not just a heart, but a child. A baby girl.”

Unusually, Aeleus is the first to repond. “What happened to her?” His face is tense. Ansem smiles.

“Worry not, she is perfectly fine. Ashamed of my oversights, I hid the records of the experiment and placed the child in the care of a kind citizen. She spent the first few years of her life happily here in Radiant Garden. I believe you may have even seen her playing by the front doors of the castle, with the woman she called her grandmother.” The guards flinch with realisation.

“That girl…” mutters Dilan. Aeleus runs his hands over his head, staring at the middle distance.

Ansem continues. “One of Xehanort’s experiments flung her from our world, but she found her way to the Destiny Islands. It was there that she met Riku and Sora, her best friends.”

Dilan gapes. “You don’t mean…”

“Kairi?” finishes Aeleus.

Ansem nods. “The very same.” He sighs deeply. “It was wrong of me to use your genetic material without your consent, and wrong again to hide it from you for so long. I beg your forgiveness.”

Aeleus and Dilan share a look. “We’ll need some time to process this,” says Dilan. Aeleus nods.

“Of course,” says Ansem, solemnly. “The decision of whether or not to share this with her in your hands. I will support your choice in either case.” He smiles a sad smile. “That is all.”

—

That evening they sit in bed together. Dilan stares at the pages of a book while Aeleus stares at the wall. They’ve barely exchanged a word since the morning.

“We have a daughter,” says Aeleus, breaking the silence at last. He watches Dilan’s face, expectant.

Dilan sighs and closes his book. “We do not have a daughter.” He frowns. “There is a child with our genes who was made without our knowledge. We had nothing to do with raising her and she barely knows us. She isn’t ours.” Aeleus crumples, pleading with his eyes. Dilan softens but shakes his head. “What have we done to deserve her, my love? She is a keyblade wielder with a heart of pure light - we are a pair of strange men who tried to do terrible things to her friends. What could we possibly give her that she doesn’t already have?” He is avoiding Aeleus’ eyes.

“You’re afraid you’d hurt her.”

“And am I wrong? My track record is terrible, I have nothing to offer her.” Aeleus pulls Dilan into his arms and kisses his head. “We shouldn’t tell her. Nothing good could come of it.” He pulls back a little to look Aeleus in the eye. “Please.”

Aeleus sighs and squeezes him. “Very well.” They hold each other close, finding what comfort they can. After a long silence, Aeleus asks, “What about Lord Ansem?”

Dilan grimaces. “He’s forgiven us for worse.”

—

It’s not long before Kairi visits. The guards manage to hold their composure when she shows up at the front door, casually asking where Xion is as if nothing has changed - for her, of course, it hasn’t. Aeleus finds an excuse to accompany her to find her friend and Dilan finds another to come with them. Xion is studying in the library, but immediately abandons her schoolwork to chat with Kairi. Aeleus pretends to organize a shelf while ignoring Dilan’s pointed glances.

“Have you grown?” Xion asks Kairi suddenly. “You seem… bigger?” Kairi grins and flexes.

“I think so! I’d say it’s all the Keyblade training, but I’m pretty sure I’m having a regular growth spurt too.”

Xion giggles. “I wonder if that means I’ll get taller, too? I don’t mind that much, but…” she glances at Aeleus and Dilan, who try not to look like they’re listening, “…everyone here is really tall. It might be nice to not have to look up at everyone all the time.”

“I dunno.” Kairi shrugs. “Maybe you could ask Even to make you taller. Sounds easier than doing it the old-fashioned way.”

“Oh?”

She grimaces. “I’ve grown out of a bunch of my clothes, even that cute dress the fairies made for me… and my legs always hurt when I sleep. It kinda sucks. It’ll be worth it if I get taller than Riku, though.”

Dilan speaks before he can stop himself. “Try eating bananas.”

Kairi twists to look at him. “Huh?”

“Bananas. Heat packs and massage when your legs are hurting, and plenty of bananas - the minerals help prevent the pain. I had the same problem when I was a boy.”

“Oh. Thanks!” She smiles at him and he nods stiffly. As she returns to her conversation, Aeleus gives Dilan a meaningful look. Dilan shakes his head and walks away.

—

Every time Kairi visits, Aeleus finds a reason to be wherever she is.

(”I won’t tell her anything,” he tells Dilan, “I just-” “You just want to protect her,” Dilan replies, “I know.”)

One such time Kairi arrives with a rowdy collection of friends. They explore the town, listening to Lea’s stories of his childhood exploits. Aeleus does some shopping, staying within earshot. When they arrive in the central square Ven initiates a game of frisbee - Kairi, Namine and Xion decline the invitation, instead finding a bench to sit and admire the flowers. Aeleus lingers near the exit, with little reason to stay but no desire to go.

“I thought I’d find you here.” Dilan appears at his side and slips his hand into Aeleus’ in a rare public display of affection. “Shall we find a seat?” Aeleus looks askance at him. “If you’re going to loiter, you may as well do it in comfort.” They walk to a bench and settle in, half-watching the game, leaning on each other. It’s warm, and after a while Dilan starts to doze on Aeleus’ shoulder.

He is woken unceremoniously when Aeleus leaps to his feet. Moving faster than it looks like he should be capable, he reaches the trio of girls just in time to grab the frisbee before it hits Kairi from behind. Dilan blinks the sleep out of his eyes.

“Be more careful,” admonishes Aeleus, tossing back the frisbee.

“Sorry!” Ven yells back.

“Thanks, Aeleus,” says Kairi with a grin. He nods and is about to turn away when her expression becomes serious. “Is everything okay?” He nods again, hesitant this time. She stands, turning to face him properly, and folds her arms. “Are you sure? It seems like every time I come here you’re always right behind me.” Aeleus shoots a glance at Dilan, who sighs and starts to walk over. “I appreciate the save, but I want to know why you’re hovering around all the time.” Aeleus is rooted to the spot.

“Perceptive girl,” says Dilan, arriving beside Aeleus and placing a comforting hand on the small of his back. “There is a reason, but it may be something you’d prefer to hear in private.” He glances at Namine and Xion, a little uncomfortable with three pairs of near-identical eyes - similar in shape to Aeleus’, he suddenly realises - staring up at him. Kairi shakes her head.

“If you can say something to me, you can say it in front of my friends.”

“Very well. Take a seat, at least.” The bench isn’t nearly big enough for five, so as Kairi sits back down the men take a knee facing her. They exchange a look - Aeleus apologetic, Dilan comforting. He waits for her nod before speaking again. “You lived here as a young child, correct? Do you remember any relatives here?”

She shakes her head. “I know one story my grandmother told me, but that’s all. I don’t remember anything about her, or anyone else. People keep asking me about it, but I was so small. My real home, and my real family, is on the island.”

“Just so. I wouldn’t try to tell you otherwise.” He swallows heavily. “It is possible you cannot remember any relatives from here because there are none to remember.” He exchanges a glance with Aeleus. “Lord Ansem was trying to create a heart, but instead created a whole person - you - then gave you to your grandmother to raise. In that experiment, he used material from Aeleus and I. From a genetic standpoint, we are…” he trails off, unable to make himself finish the sentence.

“Your parents,” Aeleus supplies, softly. Kairi blinks.

“Hey,” says Xion, gently punching Kairi’s shoulder, “guess I’m not so special to have been born in a lab, huh?” Kairi smiles but doesn’t reply.

Dilan clears his throat, composing himself. “Lord Ansem kept this information from us until recently. We weren’t going to bother you with it - as you said, you have a family already - but it seems Aeleus has had difficulty keeping his protective instincts in check.”

Aeleus flushes. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. I will leave you alone if you prefer.”

For a long moment, they are all silent. Namine pets Kairi’s hair with a gentle touch - Xion puts a hand on her knee. Dilan and Aeleus exchange tense looks.

Then Kairi laughs. Softly at first, then harder and harder until she’s cackling uncontrollably, infecting Xion and Namine with giggles too. Dilan chuckles nervously - Aeleus watches, taken aback. She laughs, and laughs, and eventually laughs herself out, wiping her eyes. She grins.

“Riku is going to flip! He was always so curious about where I came from, and now… now it’s you guys? Oh!” Her eyes sparkle. “I am gonna be taller than him!” She giggles again, and the men relax a little. She puts a hand on Aeleus’ shoulder. “Don’t be so worried about me. I can look after myself - I’m a Keyblade wielder, remember?” He nods.

Dilan stands. “If you don’t have any questions, we should be going.” Aeleus stands too, reluctantly. “I’m glad you aren’t upset by this.”

Kairi nods. “Thanks for telling me. It’s kind of weird, but it’s nice to know, I think. I’ll see you around.”

When they’re out of view, Aeleus slides his arm around Dilan and holds him tight.

—

At first, nothing much changes. Kairi visits now and then as usual, and if she stays at the gate to talk to the guards a little longer than she used to, they try not to read too hard into it. It’s when she starts to greet them with hugs that it feels like something is different. Not long after, they receive their first letter. It’s short but poetic, folded around a pair of pressed daisies. After they read it they hold each other for a long time, filled with something they can’t quite express.

On her next visit, Aeleus gives her his favourite book of poetry. He apologises for the cracked spine and copious margin notes. She tells him they make it special. He smiles for the rest of the day.

Kairi hears from Xion that Dilan gives her cooking lessons, and joins in on the next one. He finds she’s already a competent cook, and there’s something about the profiteroles they make together that tastes better than usual. She thanks him for teaching her with the brightest smile and a smear of chocolate on her cheek.

(”Even,” asks Dilan, “when Xion or Ienzo thank you for something, how does it feel?”Even laughs. “It’s a hell of a drug, hm?”)

She keeps writing, and they write back, including poems and recipes and greetings from the other occupants of the castle. She sends them handcrafted trinkets and souvenirs from the worlds she visits. They find a special box to keep them in.

It’s Ienzo who suggests they try keeping in touch via gummiphone. It feels strange to see her face on the little screen but they get used to it quickly. She takes them on video tours of the Land of Departure and Destiny Islands when she has time, and sends “can’t talk now - world order! :(” texts when she doesn’t. They worry about her when she tells them about the latest giant heartless or scheming villain she’s battled, but every time she assures them she’s fine, she’s a Keyblade wielder, remember? They nod and smile and keep worrying.

It’s the late evening in Radiant Garden. They sit in bed with a gummiphone between them, watching her talk against a background of steep misty hills.

“...I didn’t know what a llama even was before I came here, but I sure do now! Oh, is that-” the screen turns black as she hides her gummiphone, and there’s nothing but muffled voices for the next minute. She pops back onscreen, hunched over like she’s hiding them from someone. “Sorry, I have to go. Bye dads- oop!” The call ends abruptly.

“Did she...?” asks Dilan. Aeleus nods, smiling.

They laugh and hold each other tight.

#kingdom hearts #kh #kairi #aeleus #dilan #fic #if someone could beta this for me before I throw it on ao3 it'd be much appreciated

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scummy-writes · 6 years ago

Text

Stupid and Sappy post

*waves hands* It’s time for Scum to say bye to MM under the cut! (This is very stupid jhfbjhf)

I can already feel people rolling their eyes at me for this, especially folks who keep like, vague tweeting me and shit over my opinions about this game, but guess what bitch is gonna write this anyway! Me! sfbjhdf

(This post is going to be incoherent at places, like as I am as a person, but also! I talk about heavy subjects like suic*de, so if that gets to you, please don’t read!)

To start it off seriously: even though recently I’ve had a lot of issues over this company with their lack of warning over heavy triggering content, and their very blatantly bad customer service, I still love the original game a lot. Not in the “Oh this plot is beautiful” way, but like. This game helped me at a time when I was extremely lonely, and was dealing with a lot of heavy shit at home.

If you guys have followed me since the beginning, you know know I started this blog just a few months after downloading this game. Like riiight at the beginning of Jan 2017, I made my first post on here- this blog is two years old! I started out as a HC blog and stayed that way for a while, and I think after I hit 1k followers I finally brought up the fact that I had an AO3 account- and folks realized I had started writing fics in oct 2016 for this game! So, a lot of people know that, wow! This game inspired me a lot creatively and helped me hone my writing skills a bit more after a while not being in a writing class! (And yes, my early fics I absolutely refuse to look at because I hate how I used to write JHBJSBFS).

What a lot of folks don’t know, is that at the very beginning of august, I had gotten out of a ward after coming very close to doing something pretty bad to myself.

Granted, I didn’t have to stay in there long- I had put myself in there so I could also leave whenever I wanted (as long as the docs deemed me safe to leave as well) but I kept myself in there for a good bit so I could do a lot of critical thinking and not stress so much about my job at the time.

Afterwards, I got out, while I wasn’t still at That Point, I was still struggling pretty bad mentally. Home life was rough, my mom was battling with a terrible boyfriend at the time that lived with us, and I was still dipping back into some pretty bad thoughts.

Then, a friend I’ve had for a while now, introduced me to this game! And, well, I already covered that it helped me a lot in the creative process, but it also helped distract me a shitton from the bad home life I had.

A lot of people probably also remember that a month after having this blog up and running, my mom tried killing herself.

Everything is still really vivid in my memory about that- because like. So many things could have gone wrong. My little brother could have fallen asleep earlier before he found her, I could have picked up that extra hour for my shift at work, this, that- but long story short she’s still alive.

But it was a terrible year for me. Probably, arguably, all of 2017 was the worst year I’ve had in my life so far. So many things happened with my mother, she was mentally unstable, and after a lot of threats against me I even had to move out until she was more stable and, you know, not threatening to hurt me/break my shit.

And, a lot of you know, while I was constantly dealing with my own mother threatening me and trying to disown me, I was also being harassed on a constant basis over juz*n bullshit. Words cannot describe how laughably stupid that whole situation was, but it was completely, utterly, ridiculous bullshit.

Add that onto me dealing with the IRL struggles with my mom, some of which are somewhat starting to repeat even now- to the point where I’m going to be moving out again soon- well. Shit! It sucked, lol. It sucked a lot, and there were many times where I wish I was back in the hospital or worse.

But, and yes I’m gonna say exactly what yall are expecting, again- this game helped me out a lot. I constantly felt alone and worthless- my own mother was abandoning me- and these voiced sprites made me feel less alone. Gave me the attention I wish I had IRL.

And, well, a lot of my 2017 year is easy to summarize. Constantly harassed, bullied, and dealing with stupid fandom wank. But, also, filled with wonderful messages and support from you guys.

I’ve preached before how follower counts are ridiculous to base your self worth on- and yes I still agree to that, please don’t base your self worth on follower counts. Or anyone’s! - but some of you have literally followed me since the beginning, or for a Very Long Time, if not. I may be terrible with names, but I still recognize you guys and all the kind words you’ve sent me, and I hope you guys know you helped just as much as MM was helping me.

I’m getting incoherent, but a lot of what I’m trying to say is that, this game has helped me out a shitton. That’s probably why I get so vocal about issues concerning the company- not out of a sense of ‘they owe me’ (they owe me absolutely fucking nothing), but just. It sucks seeing a game that used to be so wonderful in its prime, go so fucking downhill so fast. Customer service used to be wonderful, I remember accidentally putting down my old address for the VIP package and messaging them right after I ordered explaining I needed a change of address, and a Live Person getting back to me within the hour and fixing the issue.

Comparing that with, you know, the Four Fucking Months it took to speak to Someone Successfully about the saeran daki bullshit- then you know...Well, yeah you guys know, I’ve went off about it before.

Now it’s apparent that they’re more money hungry, with how you had to pay 900+ hgs with the recent AE stuff with V, and...hoo boy, I’m sure everyones heard enough at this point.

So, backtracking a bit because I’m chugging coffee and all incoherent, this game has brought in a lot of positives in my life. You guys, healthier distractions than what I used to do to myself, friends, creative outlets being brought back to life again. I think thats why I get so upset at the fandom, at people snapping at me for not liking some of the recent things cheritz has done- people fucking vaguetweeting me, for fucks sake, and getting so personally angry at me over how I got upset at Cheritz. Like, I’m not shitting yall, I literally lost friendships over my opinions on cheritz.

And it sucks! Not gonna lie, like it sucks because it’s so fucking stupid. But then you take a look into the fandom- with the ongoing and constant harassment over contributors in charity zines, constant harassment over people if they like a character you don’t or vice versa, the harassment against artists concerning repostings or, god forbid, them drawing a ship you dislike- and it’s just.

How did a game, focusing on the message of how kindness and patience can help out in so many ways, create this rabid fucking fandom?

Even content creators fight against each other. I cannot explain the bullshit I’ve seen over people being mad that they’re not on someones personal “recommended blogs to follow!” lists, over people going out of their way to harass folks because they didn’t make it on a zine, over people trying to use a follow count over why they’re much better than so and so- It’s just...Bad. All of it.

And, well. Combine Cheritz rapidly making their own game worse, in ways we all have heard about me (or others) complain about, and this terrible fandom, I think that perfectly explains why I’m uninstalling and pretty much being done with the fandom once the other stuff I’m involved in finishes.

This game brought a lot of happiness for me, and even with my recent grievances with this game, it (laughably) hurts to uninstall it. I know its ridiculous, god trusT ME i know, but it still sucks saying goodbye to something I still love, but can’t stand being around anymore. At this point, the fandom feels like an abusive ex-friend/whatever and the game used to be what good the ex had left. And now that thats getting worse...orz

I’ll always treasure the doors this game opened up for me- how it allowed me to meet amazing people, some of which I can happily say are my friends, and how it helped me become creative again, how I’ve been able to be on zines to help charities, and how I’ve been blessed to hear my writing impact people in positives ways- but here’s my sappy goodbye while I try to scrapbook the positive memories and bury the negative ones in upcoming therapy session.

If you read this far- bless yoooooou I know I sound like the damn. Crazy image of the dude with papers pinned to the wall, but I hope I made some sort of sense. Thank you!

#scum talks

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neuxue · 6 years ago

Text

Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 43

I get the argument I’ve been waiting for, and Egwene wins (in absentia) the battle she’s preparing for

Chapter 43: Sealed to the Flame

Egwene sat quietly in her tent, hands in her lap. She controlled her shock, her burning anger and her incredulity.

YES. THANK YOU. This is precisely the reaction I was hoping for and I’m so very glad we’re continuing almost exactly where we left off, because I want to watch this.

Now let just a little of that control go and break up with Gawyn, please.

Egwene had allowed no attendants besides Chesa this morning. She had even turned away Siuan, who had undoubtedly come to offer some kind of apology.

Less dramatic than throwing an inkwell at her, but really I’m just here for the ‘Egwene being furious at being “rescued” against her will’ and will be content with more or less any form it takes.

Egwene needed time to think, to prepare, to deal with her failure. And it was a failure. Yes, it had been forced on her by others, but those others were her followers and friends.

Ah, Egwene. This was not your fault. You did everything you could.

And as I was typing that it occurred to me…this is right after the chapter where Rand absolves himself of responsibility for what is happening in Arad Doman, tells himself he’s done everything he can and there’s nothing else he can do, and walks away. And so of course we immediately get Egwene doing almost the opposite. Taking a situation where she really has done just about everything she could, and still looking at it critically for places where she could have done better.

She was carried away via gateway, just like Rand, but unlike Rand she looks back.

Perhaps she had been too secretive. It was a danger—secrecy.

3.5 MILLION WORDS BUT WE FINALLY GOT THERE.

Okay, fine, other characters have occasionally expressed similar sentiments. Still. For the effective Amyrlin Seat of all people to even consider that there are dangers to secrecy, that secrecy could be a failure is…quite something. Round of applause for Egwene.

Egwene ran her fingers along the smooth, tightly woven pouch she wore tied to her belt. Inside was a long, thin item, retrieved secretly from the White Tower earlier in the morning.

Vora’s sa’angreal? Or…the Oath Rod? And by ‘earlier in the morning’ does she mean she went back into the Tower? I suppose the game is kind of up at this point in terms of her being a captive of any sort, so she could in theory come and go as she pleases…

Yes, Egwene had made mistakes. She could not lay all the blame on Siuan, Bryne, and Gawyn.

It’s fine; if you don’t, I will. Egwene’s probably in the right here but do I care? Not particularly. (Oh wait, that was Gawyn’s mistake. Damn it, now I’m conflicted. FINE, Egwene, be the voice of reason).

She had likely made other mistakes as well; she would need to look at her own action sin more detail later.

I like this, because it’s honest self-criticism and self-examination without self-loathing or self-flagellation. (‘Self’ no longer looks like a word). It’s a more difficult balance than it seems, sometimes, and this is such a calmly rational example. She has made mistakes, and she can accept that and know that she needs to learn from them, without dwelling needlessly on them and berating herself for them. She can’t change what has happened, after all, but she can try to learn from it and do better next time. What a weirdly healthy and productive way of dealing with things!

She’d been pulled from the White Tower on the brink of success. What was to be done?

That’s a difficult question, especially given the huge blind spot she has in terms of: what is happening in the Tower right now? Also, how close to success was she? Narratively speaking, it feels like she was PRETTY DAMN CLOSE, and also there was that whole paragraph of ‘surprise! Elaida’s out of the picture’ but Egwene doesn’t even know that. So will those in the Tower decide that she is Amyrlin in truth, or will they look for another solution? And what can she do to push that the right way, without fucking everything up completely? It’s such a fine balance, and there are so many unknowns, and anything she does risks disaster.

So, no pressure or anything, Egwene.

So she remained seated, arms on the hand rests, wearing a fine silken gown of green with yellow patterns on the bodice.

Green and Yellow, for battle and healing. Battle or healing? Either way, both represent the conflict with the Tower right now.

Yeah, she definitely can’t just go back and resume her old role—she knows full well that only worked because they thought she was actually a captive. And in a way, the realisation that she wasn’t, that she could have left anytime she wanted and spared herself all that pain, might be another thing for those still in the Tower to think over. How many would willingly subject themselves to that, all for the sake of the Tower? It could certainly add to her…legend, I suppose. Or it could undermine her. It just depends on who’s looking at it and how they want to spin things. So many unknowns…

She was realising more and more that being the Amyrlin wasn’t different. Life was a tempest, whether you were a milkmaid or a queen. The queens were simply better at projecting control in the middle of that storm. If Egwene looked like a statue unaffected by the winds, it was actually because she saw how to bend with those winds. That gave the illusion of control. No. It was not just an illusion.

Surrender to control. Accept that she is as subject to the whims of the Pattern as anyone, and instead of fighting that, use it. Power is an illusion of perception, so creat the image of control, of power, of calm, and you’re halfway there.

It’s not the first time she’s had to think along these lines, but it feels like a…closing bookend, in a sense, where the opening one was Moiraine telling her ‘because I remembered how to control saidar’ and Egwene being faced with that notion, and what it truly means, for the first time.

She had to be as logical as a White, as thoughtful as a Brown, as passionate as a Blue, as decisive as a Green, as merciful as a Yellow, as diplomatic as a Grey. And yes, as vengeful as a Red, when necessary.

Of all Ajahs and of none, in truth. It’s what the Tower as a whole needs to be; the Ajahs must work together to make the Tower an entity unto itself, rather than a collection of disparate fragments. And so, in Egwene, that unity and diversity is embodied. And it’s not just empty words; she understands what it means to be of all Ajahs and none, and the importance of it.

That left her with a difficult decision. She had a fresh army of fifty thousand troops, and the White Tower had suffered an incredible blow. The Aes Sedai would be exhausted, the Tower Guard broken and wounded.

Ah. That’s…I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that this is her conclusion, given the information she has and the position she’s in. Because she’s right; if she’s going to do this, she has a very small window of time, and she could maybe succeed with minimal casualties, if the Tower is weakened enough to surrender rather than fight.

But…she just protected the Tower in battle. To bring another battle against it feels…

She hoped that history would eventually forgive her.

Oh, Egwene.

(Forgive me, for calling this mercy as well).

It just feels like a mistake, though from where she’s standing it’s entirely reasonable, and maybe the best option. She can’t wait for the Aes Sedai in the Tower to call her back as Amyrlin, because she has absolutely no guarantees that they would do so. She can’t wait here, because then the Tower will regain its strength and an attack would only be worse. She’s tried the diplomatic route, such as it is. She doesn’t know Elaida is gone. What choice does that leave her?

And she hates it; she is not approaching this unfeeling. But what else can she do?

It still feels like the wrong choice.

Seriously, Gawyn? You slept outside her tent? Someone needs to teach this boy the difference between ‘romantic’ and ‘excessive’.

But I am ready for this confrontation. For this to be a confrontation, that is, because if it is ANYTHING ELSE, I will probably just lose my shit. And not in a good way.

It was not the time to be a lovesick girl. It was time to be Amyrlin.

I like the way she consistently recognises the separation, and can shift between those roles without…losing herself, I suppose. Being the Amyrlin doesn’t mean killing the girl entirely, it just means knowing when to set her aside. And, fair, these days that’s most of the time. But she still allows that girl to be a part of who she is.

“Gawyn,” she said, raising a hand, stopping him as he stepped toward her. “I haven’t begun to think about what to do with you. Other matters demand my attention.”

THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. Well, honestly, I was up for just about anything that involved a confrontation, but Egwene opening with this not-mad-just-disappointed-don’t-talk-to-me-right-now calm yet exasperated and so very this-is-not-my-priority-go-wait-in-the-corner, only-adult-in-the-situation is DELIGHTFUL.

“No,” Gawyn said, stepping up in front of her. “Egwene, we need to talk.”

“Later.”

“No, not later, burn it! I’ve waited months.”

Oh, poor you. You know who else has waited months? Egwene. To deal with the Tower. Not just waited, but has been actively working towards this. This has been her job, Gawyn, and she needs to deal with it right now because it’s sort of non-trivial in case you haven’t noticed, and your ego can take a damn number and wait. You are not the most important thing here. It’s time you recognised that there is more going on than the things affecting you.

But that’s Gawyn’s whole…thing, isn’t it? He self-deprecates like no other, but he still sees himself as the centre of this story. He is the perfect heroic archetype, the golden prince who knows exactly how his story is meant to go, who knows the script and still cannot understand why it’s not…working. Cannot understand what story he’s actually in, and hasn’t yet worked out how to look past that and see the truth of what’s actually happening, unclouded by the lens of his own perception that tells him to look at everything through the eyes of the Hero Of The Story. That was who he was raised to be, after all, until the Pattern decided to deal him a hand of ‘fuck you’.

I’ve said it before; it’s a fascinating thing to do with a character—to basically have him read out, say, Romeo’s lines while everyone around him is doing Twelfth Night—but right now, when it’s getting in the way of Egwene being awesome and making him into every stereotype of That Guy, I’m just fed up with it.

Telling her ‘no, you need to talk to me because I’ve been waiting’ when she’s about to go do her job is just. No. Don’t be that guy, Gawyn.

“I said that I hadn’t sorted through my feelings yet,” she said coolly, “and I meant it.”

He set his jaw. “I don’t believe that Aes Sedai calmness, Egwene.”

Oh man I’ve heard this conversation. Hell, I’ve had this conversation. LISTEN. TO. WHAT. SHE’S. TELLING. YOU. When she says she’s not sure, or that she needs to think about something, especially when she’s angry at you, it’s probably a terrible idea to just…say that you know better. That you know what she’s thinking better than she does.

“I’ve sacrificed—”

“You’ve sacrificed?” Egwene interrupted, letting a little anger show. “What about what I sacrificed to rebuild the White Tower? Sacrifices that you undermined by acting against my express wishes? Did Siuan not tell you that I had forbidden a rescue?”

“She did,” he said stiffly. “But we were worried about you!”

“Well, that worry was the sacrifice I demanded, Gawyn,” she said, exasperated.

YOU TELL HIM, EGWENE.

When I said I wanted to be a fly on the wall when Egwene wakes up, this is exactly what I meant.

Because someone needs to get it through Gawyn’s head that he is not the only agent in this story. That yes, he has made sacrifices and yes, he was worried, but that doesn’t give him any sort of priority over other people who have done the exact same. It doesn’t give him priority over Egwene’s responsibilities to the Tower and her role, and it sure as hell doesn’t give him authority to override her decisions.

Do you even know what she’s been through, Gawyn? What she’s accomplished? What she’s working for even now? Has it ever occurred to you to ask?

Or did you never think beyond what you’ve been through and what you’ve done in order to be with her. Because obviously only your actions and thoughts matter in that regard, right? Because once you’re together she’ll just…exist exactly as you want and everything will go according to your plans and you’re the only one who could possibly make it so and what business could she possibly have of her own outside of that?

Am I being a little unfair to Gawyn? Maybe. But wow does this push all of my buttons regarding a specific pattern of behaviour a lot of guys show with regards to their female love interests, both in fiction and in reality.

So watching Egwene tear him a new one over it is wonderfully cathartic, I must say.

“Don’t you see what a distrust you have shown me?”

YES. THIS. EXACTLY.

He decided to rescue her against her express orders because…well, of course he has to rescue her! Of course he knows better than she does! And there is absolutely no trust in that. Even if Egwene were wrong, even if she did need to be rescued—and that’s certainly a possibility; there’s no way of knowing what would happen if she were still in the Tower—going against her wishes like this, without even asking her or trying to find a way to communicate with her or persuade her or explain your view of the situation to see if it matches hers is a massive display of…not even distrust but of failing to even consider her competence. It’s patronising.

Anyway I just love watching Egwene articulate all of this. She’s not just angry; she’s very clear about why she’s angry. And she gets pretty quickly to the heart of it: that he didn’t trust her. Or consider that her opinion and her read on the situation should be trusted. He just came in with barely any knowledge of the situation and assumed, immediately, that he knew better than she did.

Gawyn didn’t look ashamed; he just looked perturbed.

Yeah, well, he should. I’ll give him some credit if he actually takes to heart what she’s saying, but that remains to be seen.

“You love me, Egwene,” he said stubbornly. “I can see it.”

*flings book across the room*

Guys? Friendly piece of advice. Telling a woman how she feels, while ignoring what she is telling you regarding how she feels? Not attractive.

Anyway Egwene is doing a rather excellent job here.

“Egwene the woman loves you,” she said. “But Egwene the Amyrlin is furious with you. Gawyn, if you’d be with me, you have to be with both the woman and the Amyrlin. I would expect you—man who was trained to be First Prince of the Sword—to understand that distinction.”

Gawyn looked away.

DRAG HIM.

That was beautiful. Calm, cool, entirely justified, and right on target.

She has to walk that line so carefully herself, between Egwene the woman and Egwene the Amyrlin, and she’s absolutely right that if he is to be with her, he has to understand and—perhaps more importantly—accept that. Accept that she has a role and a duty that exists entirely outside of him, no matter what he might want, and that she can’t toss it aside for him. Nor does she want to.

And…yeah, he should understand that, raised as he was to be First Prince of the Sword to a sister who would be Queen. He should, but he doesn’t, because he was also raised to be the hero of his story, and Egwene is…not playing the role he thought she would, and he’s confused.

And being a dick about it.

“You don’t believe it, do you?” she asked.

“What?”

“That I’m Amyrlin,” she said. “You don’t accept my title.”

“I’m trying to,” he said as he looked back at her.

Yeah sorry but that only gets you a very, very small amount of partial credit. I get that it’s a surprise, and he’s hardly the first to react with disbelief, but…even if he doesn’t fully believe it, and even if it’s a struggle to get his mind around it, he needs to not let that affect his trust in her.

The appropriate response would be something like ‘yeah it’s a surprise, and honestly kind of hard to believe—how did it happen? Is there anything I can help with?’

Even Mat looks better in comparison—he acted like a complete arse when he first heard that Egwene was Amyrlin, but what he did just before he left for The Worst Plotline Ebou Dar, bowing to her and calling her ‘Mother’ to make a point in front of the Aes Sedai who saw her as nothing more than a puppet, was far more the right thing to do. He still doubted, but outwardly he did what he could to support her, and to let her know he supported her.

“But bloody ashes, Egwene. When we parted you were just an Accepted, and that wasn’t so long ago. Now they’ve named you Amyrlin? I don’t know what to think.”

‘But Egwene, it doesn’t make sense to me with my incomplete knowledge of the situation, so you must be wrong’.

Oh, sorry Gawyn, am I putting words into your mouth? Telling you how you really feel? Wonder what that feels like.

“And you can’t see how your uncertainty undermines anything we could have together?”

FUCKING YES.

DO NOT LET HIM OFF EASY.

ASSUMING SOMEONE’S INCOMPETENCE IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.

Every bit of this conversation—no, that’s a lie, every bit of Egwene’s side of this conversation—is exactly what I was hoping it would be and more.

And finally he’s like okay fine I’ll try to change but you need to guide me because I can’t seem to work it out for myself and need someone to hold my hand every step of the way.

I’m paraphrasing, but he deserves it.

“Fine,” Egwene said, passing him. “I can’t think about that now. I have to go order people I care about to slaughter another group of people I care about.”

What a beautiful dismissal. What a beautiful assertion of priorities. Sorry, Gawyn, go wait in the corner with your confusion and your feelings because the grown-ups have some tough decisions to make about, you know, the fate of the world and stuff.

On another note entirely…it’s again a contrast in the making of those harsh decisions between Egwene and Rand. For her, the caring is inextricably tied to it. This is a hard decision and people will die and she has to make it anyway, knowing that.

Gawyn’s like ‘but won’t that make you sad’ and yeah, Gawyn, it will. Better that it would than that it wouldn’t, because we’ve seen what happens when the latter state of mind is reached. (I mean, it was one hell of a beautiful scene, but it wasn’t exactly uh. A good thing).

“I will do what must be done, Gawyn,” she said, meeting his eyes. “For the good of the Aes Sedai and the White Tower. Even if it is painful. Even if it tears me apart inside. I will do it if it needs to be done. Always.”

And she will accept that pain as she has accepted so much pain already, accept it and let it tear her apart inside and go on anyway. She doesn’t spend time hating herself for it, or trying to wall it off; there’s no point. And so she accepts what she must do, and the pain as part of it, because she believes in her reasons for doing it. Because she’s fighting for something. She’ll make these decisions, but she will weigh them against those costs and against that pain and she will not take the harshest route simply because it is the easiest.

But she will take it, if she has to. She has the capacity to be ruthless, and if she needs to, she will be. She will order death today, unless something happens to prevent it. Like Rand, she will do what she believes is necessary, even if there is a cost.

‘This was your fault’ is always a good way to start a scene. No futile arguments here, definitely not.

We’re with the Ajah heads—that much was obvious from the opening dialogue, really. Who else would sit in a circle discussing whom among them is to blame? Get it together, please.

I’m pretty sure we’re in Jesse Bilal’s POV but it’s a little hard to tell. Okay, yes, we are. And she’s not exactly singing this group’s praises. That at least is promising; maybe Egwene’s not the only one capable of learning from her mistakes.

Ferane Neheran—First Reasoner of the White—was a small, stout woman who, oddly for a White, often seemed more temper than logic. Today was one of those times: she sat scowling, her arms folded. She’d refused a cup of tea.

What is wrong with you?

(I’ll take that tea, if you’re not having it.)

(And I no longer trust Ferane.)

Jesse, Adelorna, Ferane, Suana, and Serancha. Pretty sure we knew most of those, but it’s good to have a solid list.

“There is little use in assigning blame.” Suana attempted to be soothing

And, more importantly, the rational adult in the room, it would seem.

Meanwhile Adelorna’s still spoiling for a fight. Save it for Tarmon Gai’don.

“and the Dragon Reborn still walks the earth unfettered.”

In more ways than you know.

At least now they’ve moved on to ‘our’ fault, rather than ‘your’ fault. Accepting responsibility is helpful. Trying to pass it off to the next person like a hot potato is less so.

The first [opportunity] had been the easiest to take hold of: send Sitters to the rebels to steer them and hasten a reconciliation. The most youthful of Sitters had been chosen, their replacements in the Tower intended to serve only a short time. The Ajah heads had been certain this ripple of a rebellion could be easily smoothed over.

And so Siuan’s strange ‘pattern’ has an explanation at last. That’s…not too far off what I was thinking, though I certainly didn’t put together the whole of it. It makes sense—or at least, it makes sense that they would at least try something like this.

They hadn’t taken it seriously enough. That had been their first mistake.

Yours, and so many others’.

The didn’t take it seriously enough, and they vastly overestimated their own ability to control their agents. And vastly underestimated Elaida’s capacity to fuck shit up.

“And then there were the rebels. Far more difficult to control than presumed.”

Thanks in very large part to Siuan, Leane, and Egwene. Without those three, the Ajah heads’ plan may well have worked.

We never should have let Elaida disband the Blue Ajah, Jesse thought. The Blues might have been willing to come back, had it not happened. But it was such a dishonour that they dug in. Light only knew how dangerous that was; the histories were filled with accounts of how dogged the Blues could be at getting their way, particularly when they were forced into a corner.

Or trapped in another dimension?

“I think it is time to admit that there is no hope to save our plans,” Suana said. “Are we agreed?”

“Agreed,” Adelorna said.

One by one, the sisters nodded their heads, and so did Jesse herself. Even in this room, it was difficult to admit fault. But it was time to cut their losses and begin rebuilding.

Jesse’s not understating it—that’s a hard thing for anyone to admit, much less leaders of a group known for pride and stubbornness. For them to agree to move past it, to focus on rebuilding rather than on clinging to a plan and to power they’ve lost, is a major step.

Now make the right decision, you five.

So far so good: they’re pretty much immediately unanimous in the decision to abandon Elaida to her fate.

“The Amyrlin is buried somewhere in a mass of Seanchan captives”

An experience both Amyrlin claimants now share.

Of course, this means the days of keeping Travelling from the Seanchan are over, but that always felt like an inevitability. Too many people know it at this point; eventually, something was going to go wrong. You can’t keep a secret with that many.

“Then we need a replacement,” Serancha said. “But who?”

Three guesses how this ends.

But this is what Egwene has been driving towards. Not Elaida’s fall so much as the Aes Sedai’s choice. Her battle wasn’t truly against Elaida; it was a fight to unite the Tower around her, to heal the cracks with it and give them a leader they could trust and rely on and look to. And for that to work, they have to choose her.

So in that sense, it doesn’t matter than Elaida is out of the picture so much as it matters that they choose Egwene. It is about the choice, not about the fight.

“What about Saerin Asnobar?” Jesse asked. “She has shown uncanny wisdom of late, and she is well liked.”

“Of course you’d choose a Brown,” Adelorna said.

And that, right there, is why Egwene is going to win this. Because the divisions between the Ajahs still run too deep for any sister who wears the shawl to gain support. No matter the Ajah, it would be seen as unfairness.

Maybe a Blue would have a chance, as the Blue was disbanded within the Tower and therefore wasn’t really able to become as much a part of the inter-Ajah enmity. But that would mean choosing one of the rebels, and choosing someone who none of them have seen or interacted with for almost a year, and people don’t work that way.

So of course they all start advocating members of their own Ajah, and defending their own Ajah’s virtues as the best for the situation, and you’re all missing the point. All of those things are needed. That’s why the Amyrlin is meant to be of all Ajahs and none; because no one virtue or goal is sufficient on its own, or better than the others. But they can’t look past the Ajah traits and stereotypes to accept that a woman chosen from one Ajah could indeed embody all.

“Are we just going to squabble as the Hall has been doing all morning? Each Ajah offering its own members, and the others summarily rejecting them?”

I mean…yes. That’s exactly what’s happening, and it doesn’t take the Foretelling to have predicted it.

Which only leaves one eligible candidate, really. Who has, coincidentally, spent the past weeks running a rather effective campaign.

Of course, they still don’t jump to the obvious conclusion, but first have a go at choosing one amongst themselves. Before rejecting that idea, too, as it would upset the delicate balance here.

Any day now, ladies.

“They’re so divided they can’t agree on what colour the sky is.”

Yeah, well, neither could the clouds in the Prologue, so at least they’re in keeping with the Pattern.

Suana really is the only adult in this room, and her patience is truly that of a saint. How many times has she had to say something along the lines of ‘okay, but we still need to deal with the actual issues here’?

Serancha shook her head. “I honestly can’t think of a single woman that a sufficient number of Sitters would support.”

“I can,” Adelorna said softly.

And so here we are. Finally. It seems inevitable…but the way it’s played out also feels very true to who the Aes Sedai are.

“She was mentioned in the Hall several times today. You know of whom I speak. She is young, and her circumstances are unusual, but everything is unusual at the moment.”

And more importantly, she is the one person among them all who has put more effort into uniting than dividing. The others have accepted that they must work together, but it is still a fragile acceptance, and as this conversation shows, difficult to maintain when things get complicated. It’s too easy to retreat behind the walls they’ve built around their Ajahs, too easy to cast blame and judgements. Too easy to fall apart. But Egwene has been working tirelessly to unite them despite that; Egwene, who never chose an Ajah, and who fought for a Tower even as it tried to reject her.

Who else could they choose?

The others still aren’t so sure, but they’re very quickly talking themselves into it. That’s what happens when there isn’t much choice. And when she has made quite the case for herself.

“You’ve heard the reports of her actions during the attack,” Adelorna said. “I can confirm that they are true. I was there with her for most of it.”

And called her Mother, as I recall.

“Surely some of what was said is exaggeration.”

Adelorna shook her head grimly. “No. It isn’t. It sounds incredible…but it…well, it happened. All of it.”

This is almost as good as the outsider POV realisations of what—or rather who—was happening during that battle. The part of me that reads fantasy for good old-fashioned wish-fulfilment loves these moments where characters realise, or point out, or are faced with, just how incredible another character is.

And this is what Egwene has worked for, and bled for. She deserves this, and they’re recognising it, and Gawyn should be taking notes.

“If the Sitters will not stand for someone of another Ajah, what of a woman who never picked an Ajah? A woman who has some experience—however unjustified—in holding the very position we are discussing?”

Never underestimate the value of previous job experience in a candidate for a leadership position. Ahem. I am absolutely not in any way speaking of a real-life political situation here, whatever gave you that idea?

As for the rest…it fits rather nicely with Egwene’s thoughts about the virtues of each of the Ajahs earlier in this chapter, and of how the Tower requires all of them; how she must be able to embody all of them.

But how had the young rebel gained such respect from Ferane and Adelorna?

Good old-fashioned sweat, blood, and tears, mostly.

Also some well-timed fireballs and a killer Heroic Silhouette.

“Didn’t you yourself say that we had to heal the Tower, no matter what the cost?” Adelorna asked. “Can you honestly think of a better way to bring the rebels ack to us?”

That is also a very, very good point. It goes a long way towards allowing the rebels to rejoin the Tower and still save face; this way, both sides capitulate to a certain extent. The Tower accepts Egwene as Amyrlin, and the rebels accept the Tower, and Egwene can take care of the rest.

“You aren’t foolish enough to assume this woman will be led by the nose, are you?”

Good. Because the last…everyone…who tried that learned the hard way that no, she will not.

And so it is done.

Now we just have to hope they get word to Egwene before she orders an attack on the Tower, because that would ruin everything. After all she’s done…

Over to Siuan, who is watching Sheriam enter an apparently secret meeting with Egwene. Interesting.

At least she and Bryne understand that Egwene is Not Entirely Pleased with them and why.

“Nobody likes being disobeyed, least of all the Amyrlin. I will pay for last night, Bryne. You’re right that it probably won’t be in a public way, but I worry that I’ve lost the girl’s trust.”

Siuan, you are bonded to the man—I think you can call him by his first name.

As for the rest…Siuan still thinks she made the right choice, but the difference between her and Gawyn is that she also accepts the consequences of it. She knows she has likely damaged the trust between herself and Egwene, and she knows why, and doesn’t go on about how unfair it is.

“And what of the other costs?” Bryne added.

She could feel his hesitation, his worry. She turned to him, smiling in amusement. “You’re a fool, Gareth Bryne.”

He frowned.

“Bonding you was never a cost,” She said.

*Shakes head* what are we going to do with you two. Just kiss, damn it.

And coming from me, that’s saying something.

“I think I actually understand you now, Siuan Sanche. You are a woman of honour. It’s just that nobody else’s requirements of you can ever be more harsh or more demanding than your own requirements of yourself. You owe such a self-imposed debt to your own sense of duty that I doubt any mortal being could pay it back.”

That’s…a high compliment, from Bryne. And kind of sweet, I suppose. Either way, it’s a good contrast to Gawyn’s conversation with Egwene, in that this one is based on actual mutual understanding rather than on ‘I know half the situation and so I will Tell You How You Feel’.

Siuan’s still not entirely here for it, though.

“Are you going to tell me that other demand, or are you going to make me wait?”

He studied her stone face thoughtfully. “Well, frankly, I’m planning to demand that you marry me.”

And that’s…well, not the weirdest marriage proposal in these books, because Mat and Tuon exist, but it’s an entertainingly odd one. And fitting, for the two of them. Their entire relationship is like that—kind of adorably exasperating.

“But only after you feel the world can care for itself. I won’t agree to it before then, Siuan. You’ve given your life to something. I’ll see that you survive through it; I hope that once you’re done, you’ll be willing to give your life to something else instead.”

Aw. He gets it. He knows what this cause means to her, and he’s not going to ask her to decide between it and him; he’ll stand by her through this and then they can deal with what comes after. It really is a lovely contrast to Gawyn at the moment, who is…intentionally or otherwise demanding almost the opposite.

I think what makes this relationship relatively tolerable to me is more or less exactly this—it doesn’t really interfere with their plotlines. I mean, okay, it kind of does in the sense that it’s what brought Bryne to the rebels in the first place, but for the most part the two of them do their jobs first, and each other second. (Actually, I don’t think they do do each other; last we heard, Siuan was thinking about how he never even tried to kiss her, but my point is…)

I hope they do live through this. Mostly I hope Siuan lives through this, because the woman deserves some happiness in her life, and deserves to get to have a life, and I still need her reunion with Moiraine.

He replaced his hand on her shoulder. Soft, not forceful. Willing to wait. He did understand her.

TAKE. NOTES. GAWYN.

All right, Egwene, let’s see what this secret meeting of yours is all about.

Sheriam had seemed troubled as she entered. Did she realise what Egwene knew? She couldn’t. If she had, she’d never have come to the meeting.

Ah, is that what she’s called all the Sitters here for? A secret meeting, to do away with a very large secret, perhaps?

After what Egwene had been through in the White Tower, this squabbling felt ridiculously petty.

No shit. It’s all about perspective, isn’t it? Even the battle against the Seanchan begins to look almost petty when weighed against the imminent Last Battle…

“You said that there were important revelations to make,” Varilin added. “Is this regarding the Seanchan attack?”

Somehow I don’t think so. After Egwene’s thoughts earlier this chapter about secrecy, and the dangers of keeping secrets…

So it was the Oath Rod she took from the Tower this morning. Which means…

Huh. Of course. First, it means Egwene finally takes the Three Oaths. Here, with all the rebel Sitters to stand witness. A final step, in some ways; they’ve long since had to get over any hangups regarding her status as Aes Sedai, but those in the Tower still don’t all see it that way, and even amongst the rebels it was something that set her apart. If she is to unify them, she must be one of them.

However she may feel, or may once have felt, about the Oaths themselves, the point isn’t in them so much as it is in the indication of unity and community. They have these literally bone-deep oaths in common, and it’s been part of the Aes Sedai identity for so long that to question them, especially at a time when the Tower is already falling apart, could mean breaking the Aes Sedai completely. She has to swear, and have them witness her swearing, to demonstrate her commitment to that unity, that identity. To reaffirm it, almost, because in so many other ways they have lost sight of who they are.

None of them said anything about her not having taken the test to gain the shawl. She would see to that another day.

That almost does seem absurd, given everything they’ve seen her do, but again it’s more symbolic than anything.

“And now that you’ve seen me use the Oath Rod and know that I cannot lie, I will tell you something. During my time in the White Tower, a sister came to me and confided that she was Black Ajah.”

Oh, wow, we really are going for full transparency here.

Then again, this is one of those cases where the truth is more shocking and compelling than any evasion or truncation she could present them with. And Egwene does have something of a tradition of shocking the Hall.

“It is shameful, but it is a truth that we—as the leaders of our people—must admit. Not in public; but among ourselves there is no avoiding it. I have seen firsthand what distrust and quiet politicking can do to a people. I will not see the same disease infect us here. We are of different Ajahs, but we are single in purpose. We need to know that we can trust one another implicitly, because there is very little else in this world that can be trusted.”

But what colour is that trust, Egwene? Surely not any of the Ajah colours.

It’s such an important statement, though; and even more important that she’s backing it up by example. So much of this series has been focused around the consequences of not trusting, of keeping secrets, of operating on only partial information. And on those rare occasions when characters have truly trusted one another, it has almost always been rewarded.

They will have to trust one another if they are to face the Last Battle united. They will have to learn to work together, learn to be united, because otherwise they play into the Shadow’s hands.

Egwene looked up. “I am not a Darkfriend,” she announced to the room. “And you know it cannot be a lie.”

She demands trust and transparency, and so she begins by showing herself to be worthy of it. By telling them of that secret, and swearing in a way they know must be true that she does not serve the Shadow. Maybe they never doubted, but as with so much, it’s the symbolic act that counts here. She asks nothing of them that she will not do herself, and she proves herself trustworthy even as she demands that trust of them.

And now she’s going to use the same trick Seaine and the others used. Which might work in this sealed tent, but how is she planning to do that with all of the Aes Sedai, without word getting out or some of them running—or just attacking? Careful, Egwene.

Sheriam embraced the Source.

Ah. Well, there’s one. Subtle, Sheriam.

“Are you Black Ajah, Sheriam?” “What? Of course not!” “Do you consort with the Forsaken?”

(I’d have phrased that one a little differently, just saying…)

“No!” Sheriam said, glancing to the sides. “Do you serve the Dark One?” “No!” “Have you been released from your oaths?” “No!” “Do you have red hair?” “Of course not, I never—” She froze.

Does that actually work? If so, this is why you listen before you agree, and read the fine print before you sign. It’s well played on Egwene’s part, certainly, though it seems like Sheriam had already implicated herself enough by acting exactly like a child who’s just been caught with a hand in the cookie jar for the other Sitters to have restrained her and demanded that she swear on the Oath Rod, just as Saerin and that lot did with Talene.

But that would be less dramatic, wouldn’t it?

Or maybe Sheriam’s real secret is that she actually dyes her hair that colour.

“Ah, then,” the woman said softly, eyes mournful. “Who was it, now, who came to you?”

That’s…strangely accepting. I would have expected more fight from Sheriam, but in a way I suppose this also fits. There’s nowhere for her to go now, after all. And she only ever joined as a way to get ahead; I think she’s been regretting aspects of that choice for a long time now.

“Verin Mathwin.”

“Well, well,” Sheriam said, settling back on her chair. “Never expected it of her, I’ll say. How did she get past the oaths to the Great Lord?”

“She drank poison,” Egwene said, heart twisting.

“Very clever.” The flame-haired woman nodded. “I could never bring myself to do such a thing. Never indeed…”

It’s a quiet sort of testament to Verin’s strength, that she alone could exploit that loophole. That even someone like Sheriam might, in her way, admire her for it. Verin found a way out.

And Egwene isn’t hiding that. She promised Verin she would make sure the others knew she was never truly Black Ajah, not in her loyalties. And so Egwene tells what she knows, and doesn’t hide what Verin was and what she did, and what she sacrificed for it. She makes sure they know Verin for the hero she was, that her name is not tainted by the Ajah she had to claim.

Nice try, Moria. I’m still kind of bummed about that one, I’ll admit. She was such a critical voice in the vote to reach out to the Black Tower, and an important supporter for Egwene.

Egwene is not even remotely here for Romanda or Lelaine trying to start shit right now. Just…don’t even try it, you two. Not today. Or ever, really, but now is just so very not the time.

But they both submit to her request to re-swear the oaths, which in a way is almost a sign of respect.

Huh, none besides Sheriam and Moria, it seems. I’m a little surprised.

“From now on, we continue as one. No more squabbling. No more fighting. We each have the best interests of the White Tower—and the world itself—at heart.”

Clever of her, to tie those things together this way. The beginning of a…cleansing of the Black Ajah, and the need for unity and trust. She makes this into something that binds them, into a symbol of that trust she so desperately needs them to find, makes this as much a shared part of their identity as the oaths themselves, and directs it at the Tower and the world, aims it at a purpose. She binds them with this, and it works. Because she’s not just asking them to trust each other; she’s showing them why they should—showing them what they share, and proving the reasons for that trust, by also showing them who the enemy really is and forcing them to share in facing that truth.

It's very, very well done.

Now if she can do the same in the Tower…Seaine and Saerin and their group have made a good start, but part of their problem was the need to do it in secret, because they weren’t sure where they stood with Elaida, and also it was dangerous as all hell.

It still is, but if Egwene can work out a way to force this into the open, to make it a binding not just of these Sitters here but of all the Aes Sedai, to make it a point of shared trust and unity, and force them to recognise and look upon their true enemies—not each other, but the Shadow and those who serve it—it could go a long way towards closing those rifts.

She saw something of this, in her Accepted test. She remembered something about a ‘Great Purge’. So much from that test has come true, if often in a different way than how she saw it…

“It will be difficult, as we will have to seize all of them as simultaneously as possible.”

Their greatest advantage, beyond surprise, was going to be the inherently distrusting nature of the Black Ajah.

I mean, it’s not just the Black Ajah who are inherently distrusting, but I like your optimism.

Then again this is Egwene; she will make the rest of them trust each other through sheer force of will if she has to. She’s already made a good start.

Ah, so she does have a plan for how to accomplish that simultaneous arrest. IT could work.

“Light, what a mess,” Romanda muttered.

You’re not alone, Romanda. That’s a common sentiment these days.

“And what of the White Tower?” Lelaine said.

“Once we have cleansed ourselves,” Egwene said, “then we can do what must be done to reunify the Aes Sedai.”

“You mean—”

“Yes, Lelaine,” Egwene said. “I mean to begin an assault on Tar Valon by this evening.”

That’s…not a lot of time, for the Tower to get word to her. If the Ajah heads can even convince the Hall in time.

Could Egwene not make it an assault on the Black Ajah specifically, instead? Turn up in the Tower with the Oath Rod and find Sitters she can trust and tell them what Verin told her, and get them to swear? Even as I’m typing this I suppose there are so many ways that could go wrong. But there are also so many ways a battle against the Tower could go wrong, so…

“Light preserve us,” Lelaine whispered. “And forgive us for what we are about to do.”

My thoughts exactly, Egwene added.

A perfect echo of her thoughts. And a warped echo of another plea for forgiveness… This is not right. This could so easily break everything she has tried to build, and right as it’s about to pay off…

Next (TGS ch 44) Previous (TGS ch 42)

#now would be a very good time to invent the telephone #Wheel of Time #neuxue liveblogs WoT #The Gathering Storm

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plance-thoughts · 7 years ago

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Homesick

I'll admit I had a writer's block this couple of weeks but I am back friends!!! After my encounter with that bee and my allergies, I created a mixed plance one shot. It's short but I am proud of it ✨ Hope you all enjoy:

↓↓↓

Lance wasn't having the best of days. That morning he waked up extremely homesick and during the day, this showed up in his mood, creating a blue environment around him.

He didn't know what to do to feel better, neither the food that Hunk tried to prepare him or Coran trying to cheer him up with his friendly speeches seemed to work. Nothing was up to change his mood and that brought him even more down.

"I don't know, Blue... I just miss them more than ever right now. Even if I always feel homesick, today it feels impossible to ignore it" sighed the boy with an upset look in his ocean eyes.

He was in the hangar of the blue lion, resting his body in one of Blue's claws while he looked at its chin. He thought that perhaps he needed time alone to figure his problems out but it was being a difficult task.

And perhaps he didn't have to face time alone.

Pidge was on her computer by the kitchen while listening to Hunk complain.

"Man, I don't know what to do to help Lance, neither one of my recipes seemed to cheer him up"

Pidge made a face but kept silent. She wasn't going to give an opinion when she was awful treating with people. Even worst if that meant bonding with her crush. What if she screwed up? She didn't have the guts to look at him in the eyes if anything of the sort happened.

"Hey, what if you talk to him?" proposed Hunk looking at her with an inquisitive look, that Pidge decided to ignore.

"What if I do not?" she replied adjusting her glasses.

"Oh, c'mon Pidge. I am sure he would appreciate some company, he really likes spending time with you"

Pidge blushed and bited her lower lip however she shaked her head.

"The last time I wanted to make a real conversation with someone, I brought up their dead parents without warning. What if I say something that makes him even more upset than before? What if...?"

Before Pidge continued her rambling, Hunk decided to interrupt "And what if he thanks you for being a good friend? Pidge, c'mon it's Lance not some stranger".

"And why don't you go?" she asked bitterly and Hunk pointed at the vegetables in front of him.

"Then what would you eat for dinner?"

Pidge pressed her lips in a straight line but then with a huff she nodded "Fine, hope I don't blow it up".

With a final sigh, she disappeared behind the kitchen's door.

Lance was remembering all of his siblings with a sad smile and teary eyes. Oh, how much he missed his mother and the warm embrace she gave to him whenever he needed it. Lance was so into his daydream that he never heard Pidge sitting by his side minutes after. However when he heard a soft humming coming from someone near him, Lance opened his lids and stared at her.

He noticed that Pidge thought he was sleeping and decided not to bother him. So he took that time to observe her with soft eyes. His eyes viewed the way her glasses shined with the white light from her computer that she was holding on her lap. He observed the way her nose wrinkled when she saw something unsatisfying about her work and how her amber eyes glowed with pride whenever she corrected herself. He learnt that when she was very concentrated she stuck out her tongue in such an adorable way he couldn't hold back a chuckle.

He cursed under his breath when Pidge realized he was awake, because now, how could he appreciate her without looking like a creep?

"Oh, you are awake" her tone was against her thoughts, and by it, Lance's face dropped, while sitting again, making Pidge comprehend the situation "I-It's not something bad! I just, like you know..."

No, Lance didn't know. Neither one of them could understand what Pidge intended to say. Due to that, she sighed and closed her laptop.

"Well... how are you feeling?" she then clapped her hands with irony on her mind. What kind of question was that one? Of course he wasn't okay.

However Pidge didn't know how she took Lance by surprise. And Lance opened his eyes with realization and felt a little guilty. Been so mesmerized by the view of a serene looking Pidge, made him forget about his initial problems. But now that she reminded him about his feelings, his heart ached.

"I am sorry, I didn't want to..." Pidge started to talk but Lance quickly interrupted her.

"No... It's nothing important, I just miss my family that's all. Not a big deal" he replied looking down.

"That doesn't sound like nothing, Lance" admitted Pidge and forgetting all her negative thoughts, she placed a hand on his shoulder "If you want to talk about them it is fine, you know? I've been talking all our days in here about my family, why can't you?"

One tear dropped onto his lap and then he faces Pidge. His arms embraced her as an anguish sob left his lips and his face hided in a spot on Pidge's neck. Pidge was taken aback but then she hold him as if he was made of crystal.

"It's okay, Lance... I am here" she whispered with such sweetness in her voice it might've surprised her if it wasn't for the situation.

"I just miss them all, Pidge. I miss Veronica, mom... I miss them all so much it hurts me everyday being so far away from home. I miss the beach in Varadero and the incredible sunsets I watched with all my family. I just miss Earth, Pidge. I want to be at home"

Pidge listened attentively and with great care. She knew the feeling of wanting to be near your family so she understood Lance completely.

"Let it all out, Lance. Everything you need to say just say it, okay?" Pidge slowly reached a hand to his head and strocked his brown hair "I know how you feel, I truly do... and I believe we all do at some point. We miss home as much as you, you are not alone and it is not a far away dream either. We ae going back soon, I can feel it"

Lance's shoulders relaxed at the sound of her words and at the sodt touch of her hands on his hair. He then looked at her so she took both sides of his face with her small hands.

"Also, don't keep those kind of things to yourself. We are a team, a weird small family" she chuckled and observed his red and puffy eyes "So whenever you feel down, come straight to anyone of us, hell I am not good at talking to people and all that stuff but if you need a shoulder or a ear I will always be there for you... and I am pretty sure that if you went to Keith he would give some neat advice"

"Oh yeah he would" laughed Lance and rested his forehead against hers "Thank you, Pidge. I really needed this"

"Whenever you need it, sharpshooter..."

Pidge left her arms fall beside her body and then she stretched herself. She could sense an approaching awkward silence and she wasn't having it. Not after successfully bonding with Lance.

"So..."

"Do you want to play Killbot Phantasm I?" blurted Lance don't giving her time to start a sentence. However, Pidge smiled.

"Is that gonna help you cheer up?" she asked while Lance cleaned his face and nodded.

"Yeah when I beat you I am going to feel a lot better"

Pidge laughed and got up in a jump.

"You are never going to win me, I'll kick your ass even tonight" she admitted and helped him up.

When he saw her smile so bright and enthusiastic, he mimicked her. Perhaps he didn't have to go to Earth to be at home, perhaps... perhaps he was in front of his own home.

"Yes, you are right, I would never change that, pidgeon"

And as their looks lingered a couple of seconds more, when they broke apart, jokes filled the air and perhaps a sweet and lovely perfume by the name of love made them company so they could feel at home.

#pidgance #plance #pance #lidge #sassy flirt #flirty robot #rainforest #garden #voltron #one shot #smart water

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civilcoconstruction · 4 years ago

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Smart Digital Locks are a Necessity (Review)

Do you really need smart digital locks?

Some 15 years ago, smart digital locks for your door were for homeowners who could afford it. Others felt that smart digital locks weren’t as secure as the traditional lock and key and were easily hackable.

It’s different nowadays, where majority of the homeowners prefer smart digital locks for better convenience. Habits like digging through your bag for the keys, misplacing your keys when you’re in a rush to step out of home are no longer an issue thanks to smart digital locks.

There are so many brands of smart digital locks to choose from. But I went with igloohome for its award-winning design and technology. Being a local company, it is also a plus for maintenance. I am reviewing this as a first-timer’s experience using smart digital locks at home.

First impression

All of igloohome locks are black, which is the easiest colour to match with different kinds of door and gate colour or material. It can be boring for some, but I’m fine with just one colour as locks shouldn’t stand out too much.

Size and measurements of your door and gate matters for compatibility, so make sure you check them over at this link before making your purchase. Both the Mortise 2+ (for main door) and Rim Lock (for gate) come with an electronic keypad that brightens up upon touch. The Mortise 2+ has an additional fingerprint scanner.

Rim Lock

Mortise 2+

Smart Digital locks compared to traditional locks

We used to lock our main doors, then gate and we’ll add an additional padlock for enhance security—all with keys. How are these secured comparing with smart digital locks? It may sound dumb, but personally all locks can be open (if the perpetrator really wants to), regardless if it is digital or key. As such, it really doesn’t matter which is more secure. What matters more is—once again—convenience. In this case, going for smart digital locks makes more sense.

Choosing a secure smart digital lock

That said, I would avoid digital locks that require a WIFI connection to operate because they can be hacked. You will also want to find one that has Advanced Encryption Standard (AES). I read that having 2FA authentication is a plus, but I’m not sure if I will have this over faster access to open the locks. Finally, get a smart digital lock that has the ability to create longer passwords to prevent ‘brute force attacks’ from hackers. These are just some important security functions to look out for in a digital lock, and igloohome locks fulfils them.

How many different access options?

Everyone opens their smart digital locks differently, and it later on becomes a habit after choosing the one you find the easiest and most convenient. This is why locks have a variety of different functions made available, though most of the time you will use just one or at most two of the available options. Mortise 2+ can be operated with the following methods:

Fingerprint Sensor: My favourite option, because you have your fingers/thumbs with you all the time. And thankfully the fingerprint scan has a high success rate of getting it right. Out of the 10 times we tested, we managed to open the lock eight times. Fingers must be aligned straight though.

PIN Code: You can set a ‘Duration PIN’ that works for a period. It’s useful if you have temporary visitors you don’t want to give a physical Bluetooth key to, people like your part-time helper or a confinement nanny. The ‘Recurring PIN’ works every one day of the week. ‘One Time PIN’ works only once, great if you would like your friend to collect an item from your house while no one is at home.

Bluetooth Key: This unlocks the door via a mobile app. And as an admin, you can also set someone else in the family to have the mobile bluetooth key on their phone without them having admin controls.

Keycard: A physical small card which you can bring along and put it in your wallet. Notably, the keycard even works through a leather wallet. Multiple cards can also be registered through your mobile app.

Physical Key: This is also called the emergency key which you should carry it with you in case you’ve forgotten to bring along your phone, your keycard or can’t remember your PIN… which chances are very slim for all to happen at once. But I still carry it with me, just in case.

The best part about this smart digital lock is that all entry and exits are logged into your mobile app which you can review if required. It’s great because all individual access methods can be named, and you know who comes in or out and at what time of the day.

From Left: Emergency Key (M2+ and RL), Keycard, Key Fob

Home Page in Mobile App

Basic Unlock Button

Configurable Access in Mobile App

All Access of Individual Lock

So many options for what? Just gimmicky?

People like options, that’s just how it is for most products. Most importantly the options of the product must work well. Personally, the Fingerprint Sensor is a must-have and it works well. You can save both your left and right index fingerprints in the event you’re carrying items on one hand. It is simple to use and even my son enjoys using it effectively.

I haven’t been using much of the various PIN Codes because most of the time someone is at home, but it may be of great use to you if you’re often out and about. Sadly, the fingerprint scanner is not available in the Rim Lock (Gate), so I use the regular pin for that.

Good Sensor with High Success Rate

Battery type and lifespan

Thankfully, the type of batteries used for both digital locks are the same: AA batteries. With Mortise 2+ requiring eight pieces and Rim Lock requiring four. The batteries do last very long. For the M2+, it started operating on 2 February 2021, and to date, 87% power remains. That is six months of usage! Considering that a door lock is used daily, that is phenomenal performance.

The changing of batteries is easy too, especially for M2+ that only requires pressing on the back cover to open the battery compartment up. Rim Lock though will require a tiny Allen key to open it up, as it is reachable by outsiders.

Mortise 2+ Battery Compartment

Rim Lock Battery Compartment

Is the set up difficult?

The instruction manual can be found on the QR Code. Even without that, it is actually pretty simple if you just follow the instructions in the app. There are step-by-step guides from adding in a new lock into the app to giving access to your key cards. The UI/UX is very intuitive and most if not all the functions are within the app.

Also, there is no need for Internet connection at all. They have created a technology called algoPIN, that uses a combination of their mobile app, cloud system and PIN code to work. There’s a lot more to the technology behind, so if you’re keen to know how to works just check it out here.

Do note that it’s best to leave the film intact as it helps to keep off fingerprints. I regretted taking out my Mortise 2+ film.

Some REALLY useful features

Masking/Decoy pin: The purpose of the Masking PIN makes it difficult for anyone to see you pressing the PIN number or for anyone to guess your pin by the fingerprints left on the keypad. It is not foolproof, but at least it confuses people who wants to know your number. All that is required is to add in additional numbers in front of your actual PIN number.

Masking PIN & Actual PIN

Key Fob: This small key is included in the Rim Lock purchase. And its sole purpose, according to the installer, is to allow homeowners to open both the main door and gate digital locks with just a single press on the button from inside (at home).

How far a distance can you use the Key Fob to unlock? Can you use the Key Fob outside of home?

The sweetest part to the key fob is to actually bring an extra key fob when you’re out. I’ve tested it out myself and within a distance of approximately 6 metres away, you can press the key fob and both locks are opened by the time you walk in the front of your door. This is probably the fastest access method out of all.

Key Fob on the side of Main Door

Child Lock proved useful too for my toddler

Things to improve on

It will be great if there are widgets for the mobile app or even an Apple Watch. Imagine having a widget within easy reach that allows you to unlock the door even before reaching home, or being able to create a last minute random PIN that allows your Mother-in-Law a delivery person to drop off your online purchases from a widget—with the assistance of an in-house CCTV of course. At the moment, you will need to open the app and configure the above.

Pressing the Key Fob opens both locks, but it takes about three seconds for them to open, which I think could be shortened to 1 to 1.5 seconds.

There isn’t a button to unlock the Rim Lock from inside, which, obviously, is to prevent an easy reach-in by anyone who is outside. To do so, you will need to use the Key Fob or a Keycard to reach the Rim Lock sensor outside. But I feel there should be an easier way. For example, when you open the main door (Mortise2+) from inside, the gate (Rim Lock) automatically opens as well. I wonder if that is possible for other brands?

Internal of Rim Lock with small locking button

Summary

Although igloohome locks allow multiple access methods, it doesn’t force you to use only one just because the rest of them sucks. All methods work great, and you also have the option to disable (not use) certain access.

For example, you can choose not to use any Keycards if you’re worried that it may get lost. This adds versatility in how you want your lock to perform based on your lifestyle. If you want a very secured PIN number you can create a longer code, but that also means that you will need a longer time to access, which kinda defeats my personal purpose of having a smart digital lock.

Two daily changes to how I open and lock my door make a huge difference to my lifestyle: not needing to find the two keys within a bunch of other keys while carrying groceries, and simply having both the automated gate and door locked up when we are leaving home. You will know it is worth the change after experiencing it yourself firsthand. Smart Digital locks have been a great home product for my family!

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from CIVICLO Construction & Interior https://civilco.construction/smart-digital-locks-are-a-necessity-review/

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saastrac · 5 years ago

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TunnelBear Review 2020: Everything You Need To Know!

Internet these days is less secure than a Mercedes parked on a bad street. Everyone can view what you have done or doing. Some companies (don’t want to state any names here) even sell your browsing history and basic information for money. There is nothing secure anymore.

It is a big concern as we spend hours surfing the internet, browsing different apps. Most of which can be tracked without even cracking some major codes; that’s how unsecured our connections are.

That’s where a VPN comes in. VPN secures your connection by creating a wall between you and other people. TunnelBear does the same job, and I am here to tell you all about it in this TunnelBear review.

What Is A VPN?

VPN (Virtual Private Network) is a tool that creates a private network around the internet in which only you can surf. Your IP remains hidden from others, and your location is spoofed, resulting in a secure connection. It also helps protect your metadata, which your ISP’s sell.

To sum it up in simple words, think of a tunnel in which only you can travel. At the start, there is you with your system and at the other end of it is the website which you want to visit. This way, nobody can see and track what you have been doing. You are completely secure from cyber-attacks and other spying activities.

About TunnelBear!

TunnelBear is a Canadian VPN company, located in Toronto, Canada that offers its services to 20+ countries globally. It was founded in 2011 and later acquired by McAfee. The main objective of this company is to provide a secure VPN service to protect people from cyber-attacks and other potential internet threats.

It supports Android, Windows, macOS, iOS, and chrome as well as an opera browser extension. One can also use it in Linux distros OS with a little configuration. TunnelBear uses AES-256 encryption for all the latest operating systems and AES-128 for the device using iOS 8 or earlier.

Privacy Factor

TunnelBear is from the few handfuls of VPN service providers that offer such open and detailed policy. The company explains what data it collects, and why in simple language so that anyone can understand. And that’s what I like the most about this company. All the information is available to the users, and nothing is hidden. They also assure that they will not sell/trade the personal information of its users with any 3rd party companies.

Pricing and Payments

TunnelBear has three pricing options, which I have mentioned in the increasing order below:

1. Free Subscription

In this free subscription, you will get 500mb of free usage in a month with all the amazing features TunnelBear has to offer. It is a great way to test the company’s credibility and services. It is one of the few secure Vpn service providers that offers its full functionality in the trial version. If you are one of the chaps who like to test things before buying, this is the best plan for you.

You can get more data on your free plan by Tweeting about the company. With this, you get an extra 1GB of free data for one month.

2. Unlimited Subscription

This plan is for people who don’t want to take much risk and takes online security very seriously. In this plan, you will get unlimited secure browsing, up to 5 device connectivity, and priority-based customer service. All these features come at a price; this plan will cost you $4.99/ month, which is fairly cheaper if you compare it to other service providers.

Get A 2 Year TunnelBear Plan For Just $99.99

3. Teams

This plan is the newest addition to the family of bears, and it is aimed mostly at business. In this, you will get the functionality of using more than two users on the same account. In addition to that, you will get unlimited secure browsing, five devices connectivity/user dedicated account manager, and centralized team billing and management. This plan will cost you $5.75/user/month; that means you have to pay $5.75 for a single user/month double if you use two users and so on.

There you have it, the complete breakdown of the pricing section. TunnelBear has recently revised its pricing plans, so make sure you visit their official page to confirm.

Coming to the payment part, you can opt for any of the two paid subscriptions and pay for it via credit/debit card or via Bitcoin. It is a fairly simple and secure payment gateway. And this is the only place where TunnelBear uses third party protocols. It’s not a big deal as most of the websites use it, and they are more secure.

Speed Test

Now onto the speed test, which in my opinion, is the most important part of VPN reviews. I have tested TunnelBear on few different server locations, and the results are displayed below:

This was the test I did on my local server and without using any VPN services –

This was the test I did after connecting to US server via TunnelBear VPN –

This was the test I did after connecting to Hong Kong server via TunnelBear VPN –

And this last test I did after connecting to Japan server via TunnelBear VPN –

As you can see, the best result I got in this test when I was connected to the Hong Kong server while using TunnelBear VPN, and the worst was when I connected to the US server. It is because VPN services use servers located in different countries to bounce their signals. TunnelBear has 23 of these servers located worldwide, which works perfectly fine even if you are traveling. The closer you are to the server, the lower the ping you will get. In my case, Hong Kong won the test that’s because I live close to this country, but it won’t be the same for you. So choose the server accordingly.

Overall, the speed was pretty good, the US server was pretty slow, but the closest server was fast. Plus, it all depends on you, whether you want to trade that much speed to secure your connection or not.

Living With TunnelBear

I used TunnelBear as my daily VPN for a week and didn’t find that it lacked anything other than the countries’ options. The speed of the VPN server was fairly good, and it didn’t take much time, to connect either. I surfed many sites and watched videos on youtube; all worked perfectly fine.

Although, if you are looking to unlock Netflix or use torrent sites, that will not be possible with this VPN. The reason behind this is that TunnelBear is a Canadian company, and it follows Canadian legal rules. The Canadian government has strict rules about piracy and content duplication. Despite this, I was able to unblock BBC iPlayer and watch shows exclusive to the UK.

Should You Use It?

TunnelBear offers everything a VPN should, and no one can beat its open privacy tactics. The user-design is clean and simple, followed by a beautiful website. Plus, free usage comes with all the quirks. I think you should give this bear a chance.

If you think I have missed anything or have something interesting to share about TunnelBear, you can share it in the comments.

Originally Published on: SaaS Trac

About the Author :

SaasTrac is one of the trusted places where users can find reviews on different Saas Products, Software, and Platforms. Our major goal is to let users know the detailed and the most helpful information possible about every product — the good, the bad, and the ugly in the SaaS space.

#TunnelBear review #Virtual Private Network #vpn service #vpn service providers #secure VPN service #TunnelBear

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wrath-of-conlang · 8 years ago

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Fantasy Phonoaesthetics 4- Human

Okay, this one requires some explanation.

See, normally if human language is even addressed, it’s presented as common, or the default, and is therefore usually represented as the language the work is written in, so, usually English. If there’s a human conlang at all it’s usually designed to be the least “exotic” sounding of all the languages, and will often be based on English or Latin or another widely spoken/taught Indo-European language.

So I wanted it to sound super fucken’ weird.

I basically just heaped weird phonemes onto it. I thought about what the least common phonemes were and then threw my favorites of those onto it. Dental fricatives, sure, rare vowels, why not. Clicks? Hell yeah.

That’s the really experimental element of this language to me. I’d never studied a language with clicks before (and still to this day haven’t really, besides learning a very basic amount about Xhosa and reading some of a grammar of N|uuki). So honestly, I don’t know how plausible this phonology is, but on the other hand, that’s kind of the point. These are all sounds that exist in human languages so why shouldn’t the default humans have them, right?

(You might be asking, what about ejectives? Well, I can’t pronounce ejectives very well and I wanted to be able to at least say my example sentences out loud. So. Maybe one day I’ll figure out what ejectives sound like and be able to use them but for now that will just have to be a dream.)

Phonological inventory

p b k g i u

f v θ ð s z ʃ ʒ x ɪ

t͡ʃ d͡ʒ e ə o

m n ŋ æ ʌ ɔ

w a

ʘ ǀ ! ǂ ǁ ʔ

Wow, is this gonna suck to make an orthography for or what?

Orthography

Again, I’m trying to use only ascii characters for ease of typing. (I handwrote the notes for this originally, so it wasn’t an issue until right this second.) Luckily think I had the foresight not to include diphthongs or long vowels, so we can use digraphs for some of the odd vowels.

/æ/ > <ae> /ɪ/ > <ii> /e/ > <ee> and /ə/ > <e> /ʌ/ > <uu> /ɔ/ > <au>

Kind of ugly but functional. The tricky part is, of course, gonna be wrangling those consonants. Unfortunately, I used some consonant sequences so we’re gonna have to be a little more careful with digraphs here.

But, we can take cues from Xhosa and represent some of those clicks as letters that aren’t used in the normal orthography. Let’s see what we’ve got to work with.

taken - <p b k g f v s z m n w>

It’s pretty obvious to use <r> for the r sound and since there’s no /t d/ we can use <t d> for <θ ð>. Also, if we use <h> for /x/ then <x> is freed up for another sound.

So now we have to represent 11 sounds / ʃ ʒ t͡ʃ d͡ʒ ŋ ʘ ǀ ! ǂ ǁ ʔ / with six letters, < q y j l x c >. So we’ll probably need SOME digraphs. Of course, if we want we can also dip into punctuation, numbers, and even capital letters if we feel like going the Klingon route (which I am not opposed to, but can get complicated with some kinds of formatting).

A lowercase L looks the same as a <|> and there’s no /l/ in the language, so let’s use that. /ʒ/ can be <j>, /c/ can be /ʃ/, and since there’s no gemination in the language /t͡ʃ d͡ʒ/ can be <cc jj>. <ng> might as well be /ŋ/. <’> is usally used for a glottal stop, but I like <q> for that position, so <’> can be reused as <ʘ>. <x> can be /ǂ/, and y can be /ǁ/, and ! can stay as it is.

Got that? If not, don’t worry, here it is again.

Clicks:

ʘ labial click ‘ ǀ dental click l ! alveolar click !

ǂ palatal click x ǁ lateral click y ʔ glottal stop q

Other special consonants:

θ - t ð - d ʃ - c ʒ - j t͡ʃ - cc d͡ʒ - jj

It’s convoluted but I tried.

Grammar

Nouns and pronouns

This language has a case system, because I guess I decided to start hating myself somewhere past the halfway point of this project. I just lifted the case system straight out of Latin, too, but I think I should get a pass considering the extreme stress the phonology is causing me.

Pronouns decline according to the following table.

singular plural

1 2 3 1 2 3

nom ta veem ii tacc veemacc iicc

acc tae veemi i tacc veemicc icc

gen tad veemad iid tade veemade ide

dat tang veeng iing tange veenge iinge

abl ya veyim yi yacc veeyimiicc yicc

This orthography is a monster, I’ve created a monster.

Nouns have three declensions. The first declension is for words ending in -a.

singular plural

nom -a -acc

acc -ae -aecc

gen -ad -ade

dat -ang -ange

abl -ya -yacc

The second declension is for nouns ending in -ii.

singular plural

nom -ii -iicc

acc -i -iicc

gen -iid -iide

dat -iing -iinge

abl -yi -yicc

The third declension is for nouns ending in everything else. The schwa in parentheses is used as needed to break up consonant clusters.

singular plural

nom -(e)m -(e)macc

acc -(e)mi -(e)micc

gen -(e)mad -(e)made

dat -(e)ng -(e)nge

abl -yim -yimiicc

Nouns can be negated with the prefix bo!-/bo-

Verbs

I modeled verbs after Japanese again. They have four forms.

Base: ------- Negative: -ba

Past: -ux Past negative: -uxbe

Multiple negation is generally required.

There’s also a system of verb prefixes that can be added along with the suffix.

yiyi-: to be glad of the verb

fute-: to be unhappy of the verb

In context, these can be understood as imperative forms, and can be translated as something like, “I would be happy if you did this” or “I would be unhappy if you did this”.

Adjectives

Adjectives take the same ending as the noun or pronoun they modify.

Vocab

be- jjung love- fa!qga eat- reelong see- zog help- wa’u

permit/allow- !uw think- zaqa

home- zeeba friend- hoa water- ciltii tree- ngaufii name- xura dog- ccixa

human- tuja orc- gii!a elf- gabra dwarf- sonuli goblin- yida

good- yi- bad- fut- tall- ‘ek- short- ving- hot- daeq cold- !uang-

blue- nguung- desperate- yomii!-

goodbye/peace- fua

or- yoyo again- huvam

Example sentences

Jjung xura tad ___. Veemi ta fa!qga.

be name.NOM 1SPRON.GEN 2SPRON.ACC 1SPRON.NOM love

My name is ____. I love you.

Ta zeebang jjung. Ta hoae zogux.

1SPRON.NOM HOME.DAT be 1SPRON.NOM friend.ACC see.PAST

I’m at home. I saw my friend.

Ta bongauficc reelongba. Ta tuja jjung.

1SPRON.NOM NEG.tree.ACC eat.NEG 1SPRON.NOM human.NOM be

I don’t eat trees. I am a human.

Ta ‘eki ngaufi zog. Ccixa nguunga jjung.

1SPRON.NOM tall.ACC tree.ACC see dog.NOM blue.NOM be

I see the tall tree. The dog is blue.

Yiyizog. Futezog.

POS-REQ.see NEG-REQ.see

Look! Don’t look.

Ta futewa’uba, ta yomii!a jjung.

1SPRON.NOM NEG-REQ.help.NEG, 1SPRON.NOM desperate.NOM be

Help me, I am desperate. (The negation on the verb has a connotation of “if you don’t help me, bad things will happen”.)

Jjiim...fua, tad...tad ccehaila. Huvam veeyim yoyo xuraya veemad ta !uwba zagaba tae.

Jim...peace, 1SPRON.GEN...1SPRON.GEN t’hy’la.NOM. again 2SPRON.ABL or name.ABL 2SPRON.GEN 1SPRON.NOM think.NEG allow.NEG 1SPRON.ACC

Jim...Goodbye, my...my t’hy’la. I won’t permit myself to think of you or even your name again.

If you were paying very close attention, you’ll notice that in loanwords with L, the L becomes a dental click, not an R. I don’t know why I did that, but I honestly kind of like it.

Last one is goblins, and if you thought this orthography was a mess, wait til you see me trying to figure out how to represent a tonal system with ascii characters.

#conlangs #conlanging #my conlangs #humans #phonoaesthetics

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fywdh · 8 years ago

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( TRANS ) 161228 — interview with sedaily (part one)

translated by fy!wdh + originally from sedaily by lee hana please do not repost translations on tumblr and always credit page 712, or fywdh when posting elsewhere. please obtain permission before translating into other languages. click here for an alternate version with accompanying images.

It seems like the line "it looks pretty when you look closer, and looks lovely when you look longer" from that one poem does not apply to rookie actor Woo Dohwan. He stood out [even] without having to look closely, and made a mark [impression] without having to appear [on screen] for a long time.

Actor Woo Dohwan completed his first television drama through the recently finished KBS drama 'The Man Living in Our House'. 'The Man Living in Our House' told the romantic story between stewardess Hong Nari (Soo Ae) who lived two lives, and her newfound stepfather Go Nangil (Kim Youngkwang) who is younger than her. In the drama, Woo Dohwan played the role of Kim Wansik, who constantly stood [on the] opposing [side to] Go Nangil, creating tension [in the drama].

However, unlike the unusual [special] charisma and look in his eye that he showed in the drama, the Woo Dohwan we met in person was exactly that of a fresh and bright "25 year old, young man". Woo Dohwan mentioned the difference in his personality from his character by saying "Wansik is extremely cold and feisty, but me, on the other hand, am bright [happy] in everything I do" and "that's why I was more attracted [pulled towards] to him [the character of Wansik]. I wanted to express things [feelings/expressions] that I didn't have”.

“The character of Wansik had two sides which coexisted in him - he seems light [in presence] but is heavy, and is heavy but light at the same time. Looking at this character who changes with each situation, made me think ‘what is this kid?’. That’s what made him more appealing. I played the character [of Wansik] with the thought that it would be nice if viewers could feel the same way.”

Just like how Woo Dohwan mentioned, the character of Kim Wansik was both sharp [in personality] but miserable at the same time. He was a person who had complicated feelings making him put Go Nangil into crisis [dangerous] situations while offering his help [as well]. That’s why Woo Dohwan had to go through a process of a lot of thinking [worrying] before he could make [complete] the character. “Wansik felt an extreme amount of jealousy towards Nangil” Woo Dohwan started “But the only family Wansik had was Nangil. In order to express the love-hate relationship where Wansik worries about Nangil despite hating him, I thought about it a lot.”

Continuing on, he explained "In reality, Wansik is someone who is weak against the strong, and strong against the weak. Despite raising his fists at Nangil, he never laid a single punch on him. In the drama, I never had a scene where I hit anyone. Depending on how you look at it, I think that was the kind of character Wansik was. I was thankful that some people took pity on Wansik because of that. That was part of what I wanted to show [to the audience]".

It wasn't just the character on the script, but Woo Dohwan even worried about the projection of his voice. His voice which we heard in person was much lower and heavier than his voice in the drama.

"My voice is originally on the lower side, so I thought that there would be a limit to the character of Wansik if I expressed him through this tone. That's why I had a lot of concerns regarding that aspect. Of course acting begins within me, but it made me think that the tone of my voice right now [back then] was Woo Dohwan and not Wansik."

Despite him not having participated in a lot of productions up until now, and because he had only experienced the genre of films, 'The Man Living in Our House' was particularly meaningful to him. Woo Dohwan, who would watch the live broadcast of 'The Man Living in Our House' if his schedules allowed it [didn't overlapping with other filming schedules], said that filming for the drama was so fun and fascinating that time flew right by him. He said that through this opportunity in particular, he was able to experience with his whole body the difference between films and dramas.

“Since we work together for a long time with films, the period of time I have to prepare myself is longer as well. In contrast, the time we work together on dramas is short. There are times when we're basically filming in real time. That was a help to me. I like to think being able to monitor [receive feedback] on my acting right away was, in a way, an opportunity for me to grow [develop] a little more."

Woo Dohwan said that the nervousness that came with his first drama only lasted a moment, and that the atmosphere on set played a large role in the reason behind how he was able to break down [and understand] a character at such speed as he does now. He grew closer to the actors around his age including mood maker Kim Youngkwang, along with Soo Ae, Ji Yoonho, Lee Kangmin, and Jeong Jihwan etc creating a family-like atmosphere [amongst them]. Because of that fact, rather than thinking that filming was tough [or that he was tired], they encouraged each other even more with the thought that they were coming together and creating a production as a family.

"In order to help new actors like me relax before filming, the director would always come up and talk to me first. He would for my opinion on acting, which made it possible for my to [carry out his acting] act extremely comfortably. The staff members, Kim Youngkwang, and Soo Ae sunbaenim all gave me a lot of help. They never said anything negative, and helped me work even harder by telling me that I was doing a good job."

In particular, the 'bromance chemistry’ that he showed with Kim Youngkwang was enough to grab the interest [attention] of many viewers. In reply to a question regarding their chemistry, Woo Dohwan instead replied with his thanks towards sunbae actor Kim Youngkwang. Woo Dohwan mentioned that "Youngkwang hyung was very considerate towards me and complimented me a lot” and that “I was really thankful that he would call me over before we went into filming saying 'Wansik-ah, let’s go over our lines together’. He’s really a great sunbaenim and hyung”.

A lot of people would agree that this is one of Woo Dohwan's strengths. The fact that he has a face that has both elements of 'Good' and 'Evil'. Woo Dohwan positively reviewed his performance saying that his face [which has elements of both] helped him to express the character of Kim Wansik. People on set told him that he suited the genre of noir, and even called Woo Dohwan 'genre-style face'. [Woo Dohwan said that] Staff members actually even greeted Woo Dohwan by saying "noir Wansik is here?".

Woo Dohwan's impact was great [strong] despite his roles being relatively small [screen time wise], evident through the creation of a fancafe before his drama even finished. In addition, his fans actively gave him strength by sending him a coffee truck to the filming set. Just like Woo Dohwan's words of "at first I was extremely puzzled [confused]", even though this [acting] wasn't something he started in order to gain popularity, the interest and love of other's became the another motivator for him to [continue] act.

He mentioned them [his fans] saying "I think they are people who make me think that I should work even harder at acting going forward" and once again emphasized his gratefulness by saying "Thank you and thank you once again. I don't think there's another word that can contain as much as that word."

#우도환 #woo dohwan #woo do hwan #translation: interview #interview: sedaily #sedaily: 161228

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intaier · 8 years ago

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Ritual purity [in kemetic context]

I personally believe that it's simply respectful to approach the Gods when you are physically clean and wear clean clothes. But it's not always possible to change clothes and make a full bath/shower before every offering/prayer. After starting actively practicing kemetic religion, I began caring more about daily hygiene and before making the offerings I always make sure to at least wash hands (and face if needed). If I'm going to do a formal ritual, I would try to take shower before, or at least wash hands, face, feet. I keep a small faience kettle near the ritual space and most often before making a small offering such as lighting incenses and candles I use some drops of water with natron from this kettle to wash hands quickly. This became simply natural. I feel better when I wash hands and when I wear clean clothes (not necessarily special ritual clothes, it can be anything I wear for the office/home). But when at home, I sometimes wear very old T-Shirts, and if I want to approach the shrine, usually I feel like it would be better to change the t-shirt to something more pretty (even if old T-Shirt is clean). I just feel better trying to look nice for the Gods :)

About the periods, I think that now in modern times it's pretty much the question of hygiene and not ritual restriction. And that a person can discuss and settle the things between them and their Gods. For me personally period days are a "break" when I don't do rituals and don't make food offerings, but I still can offer incense. For other people, Gods may require different things. I don't think that period makes you "impure", but Gods may have personal reasons to let you have a "break" these days, especially if the flood affects your mood and physical well-being... I also care about "blood taboo" for offerings, this means, not offering raw meat products, well basically I prefer offering sweets and fruits and incenses. I only offered [cooked] meat product once and this was a special ritual of thanking Geb for all "fruits of the Earth"; in usual circumstances, the Gods in my home enjoy vegetarian diet :) The drinks may include tea and coffee made especially for Them, and milk, and milkshakes, and alcohol sometimes in the rituals. So, basically my opinion... try to be clean and wear clean clothes, it's better to wash hands at least before making offerings or generally working with the shrine. Don't let the period days keep yourself away from worship, unless the Gods give you specific instructions (if they want or don't want you to bring offerings while on period days; or partake in rituals). Also adding from my older post: Kemetic ritual shower [from my personal practice] Ritual purifications in Ancient Egypt was indeed very important thing. And while I’m not hardcorely-recon, I know that Djehuty values ritual purity and keeps me “in shape” about it - especially if I’m planning to do a long, more formal ritual. I keep some natron in the bathroom, and also a special cup that is dedicated for ritual purification (this cup was before used for liquid offerings, then I got the vibe that it’s better to take it for ritual shower use) So, usually, in the shower, there is a ritual part, - I may start regular bathing with it or in turn, bathe first, then make the ritual part. I add some natron to the cup, mixing with water. Then, there is a prayer for purification. I adapted this prayer from books of Kerry Wisner and R.Reidy; in “Eternal Egypt” it’s on page 200, however I shortened it for myself. You may do the full version. I say this prayer (in my russian translation) while pouring water with natron slowly - hands, feet, shoulder, head: “O water, may you remove all evil, As Ra who bathes in the Lake of Rushes, May Heru wash my flesh, May Djehuty cleanse my feet, May Shu lift me up and Nut take my hand. May Set be my strength, and may Sekhmet be my healing. […small part omitted here; see below] May Amun the Hidden One be my life and may He prosper me daily!” (In “Eternal Egypt it’s on page 200; I shortened it a bit, in the book it’s actually bigger. It has the beginning part I don’t use myself, but I will cite it here as well: so you may begin the ritual shower as this: “I, [insert reciter’s name], am a child of Ra. I am a child of the Lord of Life, Lord to the Limit. I am created from the tears of the Eye of Ra. As Ra bathes in the waters of the Lake of Rushes, so now do I bathe in the waters of the Lake of Rushes. As Ra I am purified and cleansed. As Ra I am renewed and rejuvenated. And this is the extended ending of prayer from “Eternal Egypt” – May Wadjet be my protection, May Anpu be my guide, May Wepwawet open the way before me in safety and in peace; May Heru grant me victory, May Heru bring me victory; May Amun-Ra grant me life and may He prosper me daily. May Amun-Ra be my life and may He prosper me greatly!” ) Also, I make 4 small pours of water on left and right shoulder, saying “wabet” four times; - that means, “pure”. [it’s feminine form of the word, for masculine, use “wab” instead] And so, this is enough - and I do it while standing in the bathtub. I try to keep things balanced and simple. If I have no time for shower, and no time to undress in this case, then I mix water with natron, and pour it on the hands/wrists, feet, and may be head (depends of what I’m wearing!) And what about chewing natron, I usually just put a very small piece in the mouth. Djehuty reminds that it was more a hygiene thing, so “just brush your teeth”! :) (Before ritual, there is sometimes putting some natron in the mouth too.) P.S. If anyone is interested in reading about ritual purity in AE, there is very good essay by magnificent egyptology scholar J.Quack; published in “Purity and the Forming of Religious Traditions in the Ancient Mediterranean World and Ancient Judaism” – see page 115. “Concepts of purity in Egyptian Religion”.

#kemetic #kemeticism #polytheism #polytheist #pagan*#advice on religion

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drink-n-watch · 6 years ago

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Want to impress you friends by throwing around fancy cinematography language? Want to convince them anime is a serious art by analyzing classical methods and their use in an animated medium? Well you’ve come to the right place! Unless your friends know anything about cinematography or proper usage of fancy words. Then we’re both screwed…

uhm…you know…I mean…

Lately, I’ve been fascinated by the use of cinematic language in anime. I’ve always had a certain affinity for the use of colour in any visual medium but in the past year or so that has extended to the use of camera work and blocking/framing in anime.

It’s one thing to play around with different angles or perspectives in a real life medium. To me, there’s something just inherently more logical to moving a camera around in a 3-dimensional environment. Recreating the same effect (and then some) through 2D images is just a little different. It requires a lot more planning and forethought. Re-shooting any scene from a different angle isn’t great for a production. It requires time and a lot of money. But redrawing the entire thing, to me, seems much more difficult. You have to re-plot and re-plan each frame, get your entire staff back together and then try adding that 10° just to see if it’s better… Ridiculous!

That’s why I’m always impressed by camera effects in anime. I understand that my knowledge of actual production is very limited, and I may be completely off on this. It’s entirely possible that modern animation techniques include scanning your beautifully hand painted image into a computer which will plot it out in 3D and allow you to distort and rotate it any way your want within second AND automatically generate all the in between frames… If that’s not the way it’s done now, it probably will be very soon. It’s logical. It’s just not terribly romantic. So, I’m going to keep pretending it’s exactly like what I saw in Shirobako and keep being impressed by camera angles.

it was a fun show by the way

I am 300 words in and I’ve yet to even mention what a Dutch angle is… I don’t know if I should be impressed with myself or exasperated. I guess both at once is the safe bet.

So first off, what is a Dutch angle. You may have heard the term before, it’s a pretty common and fairly old technique. Almost 100 years old! Whoa! It’s really just a fancy (and shorted) way of saying that the camera is tilted at an angle so that the vertical lines in the shot end up diagonal instead.

This sort of composition has a few effects. It gives the viewer a sense of unease or unsteadiness. Since the horizon is no longer level with the bottom of the screen, it visually simulates being on unsteady terrain (or being really drunk…) In some cases it can be a pot element (if the character really is very drunk OR maybe if there’s an earthquake), in other it’s to set up a mood, give a vague sense of dread or ominous foreshadowing.

This is a fairly basic idea of the dutch angle. In animation I guess you could just that your image and tilt it a bit. Nothing too exciting here.

It gets more interesting hen the angle starts playing with perspective. A slight dutch angle with a foreground character and vertical background can allow you to fit tall buildings in a frame without having to pull away too far from your character. It generally has the effect of making the taller element seem to really loom over the shorter one. It’s immediate and generally gives off the visceral effect of having the smaller element seem helpless or overwhelmed. It also artificially stretches the shot making it look taller than it is.

see – you can get so much more into the frame

Cinema screens are usually wider than they are taller. It’s a ratio we’ve learn to associate with big budget productions. Flipping that and creating a shot which is taller rather than wider, even if it is an illusion, creates a much more intimate (i.e. small screen) effect which grounds the story in spite of what may actually be happening. Traditionally, this type of framing is favoured for gritty crime dramas or thrillers where you want the audience to think they’re watching this from a window (or for more contemporary audiences, on a smartphone).

Shot composition rather than camera angle is often used the other way around, to make images appear wider thereby giving off a more cinematic or polished effect. Which generally is considered more suitable for stories with a lot of fantastic elements such as fantasy or superhero movies…

The thing about these more subtle dutch angles is that they play with depth of field. When in an actual 3-dimensional environment, there is often a slight curve to the rendered image such that the angle won’t affect things very close to the camera in the same way as things very far from it. This means that simply spinning your drawing a little will not give you the same effect in anime. To really get it right, you have to draw it that way. (Or a computer will do it for you, stop shattering my dreams!)

In live action cinema, dutch angles are a very obvious technique that can be and often is overused. As such, it can easily go from an interesting, mood enhancing effect to making your movie or show look amateurish and give people motion sickness. In anime however, because these shots have to get planned out more carefully, it’s still fairly unusual and generally only used with good reason.

dum dum DUM

I remember there ae a handful of these angles in the fifth season of Natsume’s Book of Friends. Oddly, for me they d=created a sense of space and clam when compared to the steadier head on shots we’d been getting in the 4 first seasons. That’s sort of the opposite of what the technique is supposed to be used for but Natsume is special in very many ways so we shouldn’t use it as an example.

More recently, the 3rd season of Bungo Stray Dogs (one of the most impressive productions I’d seen in a while) had subtle but consistent use of dutch angles. They were used in the traditional way, with single characters in frame to give off a sense of dread or loss of control on the character’s part. Not often though.

Most of the time, we saw them used in the city, on fairly neutral transition scenes. It’s an odd choice. Why use this particular cinematic technique on shots that are not meant to convey anything in particular and just hold the story together. It seems like a bit of a waste. Of course, it’s not a waste. First, they set up the next shot and get the audience in the appropriate mindset for whatever action there is to come. That enough would have been a great reason.

However, I think there’s a touch more to it. I’m just guessing here. Let me share my thinking with you. Season 3 of Bungo Stray Dogs was very particular and deliberate of framing. Scenes were often really well and unusually composed.

Keeping that in mind, I thought it would be unlikely for the director to throw in a bunch of random angled shots just for fun. The greater lore of Bungo Stray Dogs puts heavy emphasis on the city of Yokohama. Both the Detective Agency and the Port Mafia are created to keep the balance in the city (along with the Special Ability Department) and ultimately allow it to prosper. We’ve seen both Mori and Fukuzawa express that the welfare of Yokohoma itself was more important than their own lives or organizations. Their means differ drastically.

To me, these angled and wide shots of the city create a sense of dimension to the landscapes. It makes the city itself look a little odd without adding any surreal elements to it and it makes the city itself more like its own entity in the audience’s mind. This allows the viewers to connect with the reactions of the characters better and get more invested in the overarching story line.

I could be wrong but even if I am, it’s still what happened for me!

Personally, the idea of recreating practical effects in animation has always been a source of wonder. The fact that something so simple as an angle can be used create such an effect on the viewers is modern day witchcraft and I adore that anime directors are using it to their own ends.

Dutch Angles in Anime Want to impress you friends by throwing around fancy cinematography language? Want to convince them anime is a serious art by analyzing classical methods and their use in an animated medium?

#anime #cinematic language #Irina pretends to know things

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robpoolephotos · 7 years ago

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RP: Hi Jason, thanks for agreeing to talk to us to start please tell us a bit about yourself.

Hi Robert! Thank you for choosing to interview me! It is an honor to be among those that came before me, especially Jacob Murphy, Nick Mayo, and Wes Boker who over the last year have looked to for inspiration with my own Photographic Art.

Now about me, my name is Jason Brewer, and I am Full-Time IT Professional and Father of two (very soon to be three!) and a Photographer from Wisconsin where I focus on capturing Street, Fine Art, and Documentary Photography. I shoot mostly 35mm and 120mm Film but also shoot digitally on the rare occasions I am asked to capture for Volunteer events (which is something I recently stopped doing).

RP: what inspired you to become a photographer?

I have always been a bit of a shutterbug as a kid. I was regularly taking pictures with my parent’s polaroids, Kodak 110 and Disc Cameras. I didn’t have any close family members that were photographers so because of that; I had joined my High School photo club my senior year to learn more about Photography to take better pictures. However, it didn’t work out well as I quit after a week or two as I was more interested in skateboarding instead and I didn’t feel the drive to pursue it further.

I did keep taking pictures, and I was always interested in capture the mundane and banal things more than anything else especially after seeing the movie “One Hour Photo” with Robin Williams.

It wasn’t until about 20 years later at the end of 2012 and beginning of 2013 that I got serious and took the “Complete Course in Professional Photography” at the New Your Institute of Photography (NYIP) to improve my Photographic skills, and it boosted a love of the Art.

RP: You seem to have a good selection of prints and zines on your site, how important is printing your work to you?

I think it is vital to print your work. I believe we have gotten too far away from the tangible, tactile feel of holding something you created in your hands and being proud of it yourself first before you present it to the world. It feels like we all get caught up looking for instant feedback from others on social media like we are fishing for compliments and approval from others before we feel proud of it ourselves.

Additionally, printing has so many benefits. Two that stand out for me are: 1) Holding the print allows one to focus in on the good, bad, and the ugly of the image to better improve your skills and composition. 2) It helps you sort through a series of pictures by laying them out on the floor or table then physically arranging them together forming a sequence for a Print Project or Zine.

RP: Can you share with us what you’re working on at the moment?

To be honest, too many projects! As a full-time Father and IT Professional, I often have to sacrifice my photography time for work or time with my family. However, I do try to shoot during free time when on work trips or when my family is with me and make it an outing for all of us by combining Family Adventure time with my Photography Project time.

To answer your question though. The current ongoing long-term projects are focused on capturing the small Midwestern Life around where I have lived in a project called “Home Towns.”

I also drive around on weekends to surrounding small farming/pre-WWII industrial towns by documenting their forgotten history left behind by people migrating away from them to larger towns/cities for work in my “Small Town WI” project.

I new project called “Fair View” is one where during the late summers, I try to visit county fairs in the region and capture the people and activities on a Holga 120N.

In all my travels I also try to document smaller things we as humans have left behind but not torn down in a project called “Where We Were.”

Another project I have recently started though challenging my self to do more portrait work of friends and strangers is a project called “People are Strangers.”

Because these projects will go on for a long time and my limited time to shoot is why I created my “Oddments” Zine. This way I can share my projects as I work on them instead of waiting years to create a single complete body of work for each project.

RP: What/who inspires your photography?

Most of my inspiration comes from just wanting to capture what I find interesting around me. I do not have an Art background, and it wasn’t until about two or three years ago that I even heard of photographers like William Eggleston, William Christenberry, Lewis Baltz, Steven Shore, Walker Evens, and Henry Wessel. These photographers (especially Eggleston and Baltz) validated and confirmed that it was OK to shoot the subjects that I typically preferred to shoot growing up!

As far as more contemporary Photographers/Artist that inspire me, there is an even longer list. There are so many great people I have seen in the last couple of years out there that are producing great work both in film and digitally.

If I had to give a top 10 list of people I actively follow, it would be these people:

For color work: Jason Lee (@jasonlee) and Caleb Jenkins (@calebjenkins)

For Black and White: Nick Mayo (@nickexposed), Jacob Murphy (@jacobmurphyphoto), and Simeon Smith (@_simeonsmith)

For proving that I can be a Dadtographer: Matt Day (@mattdayphoto), Wes Bowker (@wesbowker), and Charlie Boucher (@charliewboucher)

For simple amazing cinematic aesthetic: Ken Kornacki (@kenkophoto)

Lastly for inspiring me to no having to choose between shooting only Black and White or Color Films: Sam Cashmore (@samcashmorephoto)

RP: What does photography mean to you?

As a Disabled Veteran, photography has been very therapeutic by allowing me to focus on something in a meditative way that engages my mind to reduce day to day stress when out on photo walks alone or with others.

I am glad I rediscovered my love for the Art and was able to learn not just from attending photography school but also from working with people that have mentored me and helped refine my Art and Vision more. The relationships I have built add to the fulfillment I get from photography and hope they grow along with my skills as a photographer.

RP: What cameras/films do you shoot with and why?

Digitally I shoot Fuji. I have an XT-1 and a few lenses and an X100T with the two adaptor lenses. I love the X100T as it is an unobtrusive street camera for digital shooters. My poor XT-1 has only been used once in the last year and a half; I should sell it in all honesty!

For 35mm film, I currently rotate between a Canon AE-1 and Elan 7e as main cameras. I recently picked up a $3 Yashica Microtec Zoom 70 P&S for a quick walk around camera when at work.

I also have a Holga 120N, FPP Debonaire, and Lubitel 166B for shooting 120mm film. I do love the unpredictability of those cameras when shooting as they produce exciting results!

For future wishlist items, I do hope that someday I can afford to get a better Medium format camera like a Mamiya 7 or 645 for more consistently in everyday work. I also would like to pick up an Olympus XA3 or Rollei 35SE for good pocket shooter to replace the Cheap Yashica.

RP: what’s your main reason for shooting film?

I use to say that fill was better because it slows you down and makes you think about your shots more due to the limited number of frames per roll or for some other reason along those lines that I feel is utter B.S. and a shallow excuse I used to be different than most everyday digital shooters.

In the last couple years I have come to realize, that for me, shooting film has become more about the process of using a type of physical media to capture my subjects versus using a digital sensor. The organic nature of the chemical reaction with the light inside a camera that physically changes the film to create the image has brought about a more profound connection with my Art. The addition of being able to hold the negative before moving on to work on the final image or print adds to the emotional satisfaction of physically holding something you created.

Lastly, and many others have said this too, but the community of film shooters is more welcoming and supportive than most others online!

RP: Any anecdotes you can share from your time as a photographer?

I don’t have any anecdotes or stories that I can tell. I have had it pretty easy for taking pictures of strangers. I have no problem just going up and asking, or if I can’t ask first, I say thank you or smile at them and wave in a friendly manner afterward. I try to be as non-confrontational as possible and talk to people I shoot when I can.

A tip I learned from Scott Kelby to make it easier when people seem like they are about to confront you is to keep a 10 to 15 Page Photo book on you that you created. Pick 10-15 images, upload them to Blurb and order a cheap book with a title and your name on it. When someone wants to know why you took a picture, you show them the book and tell them about the photo projects you are working on while letting them look through the book. Doing this often disarms the person and starts a conversation with them.

Additionally, take time get the person’s name and address or social media info and then send them a 5×7 print or tag them in your feed as a thank you for letting you take the picture! People will appreciate it.

I carry a proof copy of my first Zine in my bag just for this reason, and it has helped me get shots or keep shots more often than not when people have looked through it and talked with me about it.

RP: What are you looking for in a photo?

With most of the subjects I capture, I want to evoke an emotional response and curiosity in the viewer, but it doesn’t have to be the same emotion that drove me to capture the image. I like giving the viewer room for their interpretations and meanings to be assigned to the pieces I present. We come from such varied backgrounds and experiences, so by allowing them to attach their context, I as the artist get to collaborate with my viewers.

RP: Biggest regret relating to photography?

Getting caught up in G.A.S. (Gear Aquisition Syndrom) and buying too much digital equipment before I thoroughly knew what I wanted or genuinely liked to photograph. I wanted to try it all and be ready for anything, but in the end, it was just a waste of money that I will never get back.

RP: Any closing comments?

Just go out and shoot, make Art for yourself of the things that capture your attention and peek your curiosity.

If you are starting out in photography, fight getting G.A.S. Start with only one body and one or two lenses only. You will be amazed what you can create with a simple set-up!

Go out and meet people to ask your questions, stop using Google and YouTube (Sorry Matt & Nick!). Reach out to people via DM on Instagram or Twitter in your local area and go meet people at a Meetup!

Thank you again, Robert, for this opportunity to share my thoughts through this interview! I appreciate the work you put into these and have enjoyed reading about others that you interviewed!

Lastly, want to give a big Thank You to everyone that bought a Zine or Print since my shop went up last November! I still have a few Zines and Prints left for sale if anyone is interested at reduced prices.

Social Media Links:

Website: https://www.jasonbrewerphotography.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/jasonebrewer/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jasonebrewer

FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/jasonbrewerphoto/

In Conversation with Jason Brewer RP: Hi Jason, thanks for agreeing to talk to us to start please tell us a bit about yourself.

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