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nemesis-is-my-middle-name · 1 year ago

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1 and 6 for Palina and Ingo?

(character dynamics ask game)

OOOOH these two are a really good duo. underutilized tbqh a LOT of fun potential btwn them

1. what were A’s first impressions of B? were they mostly correct or have they changed?

this is a toughie bc like most of these involving ingo it requires deciding things abt the time and circumstances of his initial intro to the pearl clan that i still don't have a going hc for that isn't just for one or two fic plots. but like, all those possibilities are so INTERESTING. was it before or after lord arcanine's death? the palina irida leader competition? how quickly did sneasler decide he was Hers and start acting accordingly? did they meet soon after he arrived or was it delayed a bit bc palina was living in the coastlands at the time? and all of those questions i think have a major impact on the start of their relationship and the way they would view each other initially.

i think most likely is that palina's kind of always accompanied by her two growlithe, so she probably would have seen him interact with them and that forms a large part of her initial opinion on him (he has a very good intuitive grasp of their body language/comfort zones and is overall good w/ them and also is very patient with the little lord being very shy, which is probably partially due to the fact that he might not know he's a lord, but palina still appreciates seeing it), but then she would probably also know he was Some Guy From Nowhere and i... am honestly not sure what she would think about that. like, i don't think she's as immediately hostile towards him as like, gaeric or calaba, but i think she's also a kind of cautious person by nature and they know literally Nothing about him, that makes her a little suspicious. but then sneasler likes him? and sneasler doesn't like Anybody. so she's like... wary, probably keeping him at arm's length like the majority of people, but willing to give him a chance. yanno

otoh ingo's initial opinion of her probably majorly depends on the circumstances and in particular what he knows about her going in. like, does he know she's a warden. does he know what a warden is. does he know anything about lord arcanine. not that ingo is particularly likely to be judgy or anything but the amount of background context he has impacts his thoughts bc palina is a person deeply defined by her circumstances. if she weren't traumatized and dealing with all of the things she's dealing with in canon i think she'd probably act very differently, especially to strangers. so ingo will have a different view on her if he thinks "this warden is just kind of quiet and depressed i guess" vs "you're probably quiet and depressed because your lord died and your whole clan hates you for it." yanno.

6. what does A think B thinks of them? or, if asked to describe their relationship, how would they do it? are they right?

HMMM well. the one thing abt these two that i come back to a lot is that i think ingo for sure agrees with palina about not pushing growlithe into lordship too fast, and i also don't think his own internal morals would let him sit and listen to anyone shit talking her for that choice. especially once he knows the story and has met the warden and growlithe in question, he kind of can't not defend her. this is sort of stupid considering his own position in the clan is so precarious and he probably should be keeping his mouth shut but that thought does not make it through processing in time to stop him.

idk if palina has ever like, been present for any of these arguments, but she would probably know about it secondhand at least. and it's definitely not something she gets a lot of from her own clan—even irida often sounds more like she's just being patient with her than anything—so it's... yknow. it's nice to have one other person on her side at least. so basically i think palina knows ingo thinks she's not just like, someone who's allowed to grieve, but that she's a good warden who is making the actively correct choice, and he feels strongly enough about that to actively speak up about it.

unfortunately i'm not sure if palina knows how to fully express her feelings abt this, especially if it's true that she views herself as someone dangerous to associate with and tends to push people away bc of it. and as mentioned before, common sense dictates ingo should be keeping his head down and not making waves etc. and i think that might kind of frustrate palina, that he won't just do the smart thing and let her be a pariah. the fact that he's kind and she likes him paradoxically means she has this instinctive desire to put distance between them so she doesn't hurt him by proximity.

and like, would palina tell him this?? is she even conscious enough that she's doing this mental math to be able to put words to it?? she's conscious and intentional about distancing herself from iscan in public, but i think iscan being diamond also might make it a little bit easier to rationalize. warden or no, the diamond clan can't hurt her as badly as her own clan can. so ingo's concept of her opinion on him is entirely reliant on whether he's aware she acts weird to the pearl clan specifically because she's afraid of being burned or hurting others, or not, in which case he would have no fucking idea why she seems to change her demeanor on a dime. at least she doesn't stop growlithe from coming to bug him for attention at warden meetings, so she must not be that hostile towards him. this is his only clue.

#the nemesis speaks #the nemesis answers #notadragon #pla analysis #ask game #continuing the trend of novel length replies. is anyone even reading these #whatever i have fun writing them

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hospitalterrorizer · 2 years ago

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diary15

9/19-20/2023

less exhausted now than yesterday.

i got 5 songs re-mixed today, which puts me at 13/25 (yes there are songs i forgot i had to work on and there's one i added that's out already but i should redo it for like, bandcamp and spotify/whatever (and there's some i'm still not counting because they're pretty simple and honestly i feel like they won't be too difficult)).

today i did get really happy doing all of this at least, i had a breakthrough w/ the guitar processing stuff that's at least gonna help a lot on some of these songs/tones, where i use something that simulates a lossy mp3 and stick it early in the chain, parallel with something, and then use the chime-y sound that it creates, essentially a warbly reactive bandpass with some random elements, and it helps add a sense of real guitar, it also helps un-deaden and de-cotton-ball some of the sounds, but i think i can work on that still. there's an answer somewhere to that problem.

maybe i can go do that now, who knows. i've got some loose time i guess but i should actually let myself relax, all the best ideas come to me when i'm not overworking myself. i think partially the problem is the sound loses a lot of dynamics/transients which would give it more textural shape.

it's also just the nature of distortion. stacking so much makes the sound, i dunno, rounder, or not round, it's sharp, but it's kind of like razor thin in ways. i like the razor part, and i like thin, but i want it to be a little more present, i think that means needing some more low end, it could be a situation where there's two channels, one maintaining the lower end.

also what the hell is up with impulse response cabinet things and them sounding so freaking, i dunno, weak.

whatever. but this is all my life is right now. kinda. tomorrow i'm going to do errands (woo (actually crying but whatever)) and hopefully i'll get to do some of the short songs before i am whisked away.

oh my god i can get post-grunge impulse responses. honestly i could on a lark but honestly no thanks i don't need to fool around with an impulse response based on the guitar cabs the guy from hoobastank uses. what is the point.

there's people who would see that and say they're going to make the most fucked up music ever using that, like a dare, i'm going to be brave and say that i am too good for that. even if i'm stupid and cleaning up a 25 song (+ more) mess. maybe i sound like i hate fun but i just hate what some people treat as fun, or i don't hate it. i just feel bored and frustrated by it cuz it's like, i'm gonna handle trash and act above it and also extol it because x y or z and it's a lame impulse and also i guess gently tied to some weird revivalist bent people can take up.

sorry for bitching and moaning about something that's essentially really specific and dumb.

listening to other fucked up guitar music makes me feel good about where my stuff is at, it's like i can figure out some tiny things and get it where it needs to be. i think as it stands the biggest issue could really be the bass sounds, they still come out a bit loud, which is an easy thing to fix, i just wonder if lowering the db is actually what i should do, but what else, who knows.

vocals also are a bit tough but they always are, you just find where they sit and stick them there, is how i feel about it.

who knows how much longer this whole mixing talk is gonna go on for. it could be my life forever. i don't want it to be, i want to write again soon but my mind is wholly on this, on the communion w/ soundwaves through abstract graphical and numerical means. an extremely material circumstance i think.

i got distracted from my #superimportant diary by a conversation with a friend, it's veered into a discussion of when we've felt insulted by artists people compare us to. the two of us have been burroughs'd by people, and not to say he's a bad writer or anything, but it's not what either of us are going for, and it's interesting how people can be really appreciative of what you're doing or something and vocalize that, and you can sit there and feel, in the wake of someone being really nice to you, and honest with you, and a lot of things i feel like i should appreciate, i am left incapable because of a bad taste. this isn't what happens even most of the time with comparisons, especially with my music. it's always nice to hear what people think. often they feel kind of left field, but good, or they're so left field it's like, i'm glad you got that out of it, but something about how people do it with writing in particular, there's a level of people treating your voice like it's a party trick and a condescension i guess.

it's also such an asshole thing to complain about someone being nice to you, but at the end of everything, it's just whatever, it's a thing. i think i'm allowed to ruminate when it's something that's a strange feature of my life. it's an ugly kind of rock formation i see that isn't a terrible eyesore but it's strange the earth's mantle and crust and everything conspired towards that, and the strangeness not so great and not especially meaningful, you are just put before it and nod at it and think about it later, i guess.

i shouldn't have to justify everything about my life or inside my head but i do i guess cuz i'm cuhrayzzzzeeeeeeee.

when i type like that i feel like i'm actually getting myself across, not in a way where like, i know someone understands, it's just letting something deeper inside out. it's how i actually feel and i guess no one could understand why it makes me feel, i dunno, whatever cluster of things it makes me feel.

i just remembered ryuichi sakamoto's passing, and almost cried, might cry, kidn of crying, crying.

not much to say about it, just a real tragedy, a real legend and genius. i love him a lot.

it's a bad idea to listen to forbidden colors, but i will.

what a perfect articulation of something, that song. i don't know why sakamoto is one of the musician deaths that makes me the saddest, i really do cry over him more than any other, it's not new at all really, it's not fresh anymore and it still gets to me, and he was old, it wasn't shocking really. but i guess we all knew it was coming, those who keep up at least saw the stuff about his cancer. i think it's because his music and how he wrote music represents something fairly singular to me. it's hard to get me to sit and listen to anything classical adjacent, him doing solo piano stuff a lot makes that easier, since i love that anyways, but his particular interpretations of older kinds of music are just really moving. you can sense his entanglement with that music and the will to move past it, the recognition of others, through time.

now i'm thinking about house music. good house music always makes me really melancholy, even if the song is happy, endlessly joyless, really it's the joy that makes me sad, it makes the gulf apparent, i am here and now, and all the parties these old songs were made to keep going and start and end, never even expected me to be there. meaner kinds of dance music are what i end up making, because of that emotional reality. i guess it's not that house is uncomplicatedly happy or something either, dj sprinkles talks about that on an album. it's also where a lot of queer people collected themselves, and partied, but not really escaping a miserable material reality, things like that. the sense of loss and distance and alienation is greater now. only for a night, and in the night, do you and your body join, a question is asked, how long can the night go on for, and a journey starts there, and what are all the ways we can modulate time, and so on, not to escape, but to be embodied, to exit the escpaism that surrounds us at all times (something something the spectacle (which on some level includes dance music, especially now.))

us being general and not localized to queerness, only to the downtrodden, of which there are many.

this is a lame pick, but for these particular emotional reasons/resonances, the song i'm your brother by round one (basic channel basically) is one of the best house songs, it feels like it's speaking to that exactly.

and i guess i'll end this entry with a link to another dance song, colder, not house, but it's a song that perfectly captures how it feels to walk home from work at night, not liberated but feeling liberation on your tongue and that denial, the slim hours you have to live your life, all our desperate existences, and stuff.

youtube

byebye !!!!

#Youtube

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thoodleoo · 3 years ago

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hi!!!

one of my friends is doing the whole english teacher abroad thing, and they’re disappointed they’ve been assigned middle schoolers. i’ve never been a full on teacher but i do have a LOT of experience leading swarms of children and some teens and i think middle schoolers are fun as hell!!!

what are some of your favorite things about teaching middle schoolers, especially compared to other ages? and why do u think ppl love to hate middle schoolers so much?

derision for middle schoolers is p wide spread, but ppl hate the concept of middle schoolers more than actual middle schoolers? which makes me think most adults haven’t thought about category: middle schoolers since high school, and retain the high school attitude about it. bc high schoolers love dunking on middle schoolers, to prove their own maturity (i’m not like those annoying dipshits!) and bc even the least cool high schooler is cooler than the coolest middle schooler. it’s like ppl hating new jersey. seeing full adults dunking on the concept of middle schoolers is kinda pathetic imo, but i also don’t understand adults who fear teens

idk if my experience of middle schoolers is skewed bc i’ve mainly worked w them in the capacity of ~cool older kid~ rather than fully in charge like i have w other ages (i keep remembering TAing a college science lab when i try to remember the last time i worked w middle schoolers lmao). the ~cool older kid~ role vs ultimate authority of teacher may be skewing this, but generally all i’ve had to do to get middle schoolers to work w me rather than against me is not go in with an attitude of “ugh. middle schoolers.”

huh. i have another question. so i’ve been in the ~cool older kid~/TA role a lot more than i’ve been the sole teacher, and when i’ve been the only teacher it’s mainly been for smaller groups. social stuff is a big part of the cool older kid role, in part bc ur a pseudo peer, kids are listening bc ur cool and they want to, more than bc ur in charge and they have to. even as a college TA, a lot of what i did was try and make sure everyone in a lab group was participating, get shy kids talking to their lab groups, and be an easy person to help with “dumb” questions. at one point, most of the groups forgot write down their data not just the final answer, so the next lab i went around to all the groups w super secret insider info and in a lowered voice told them how to get full points (write down these four data points in ur answer)- that info was listed in the instructions, but they paid attention to my super secret insider info in a way they didn’t when the prof announced it to the room. and they remembered it in future labs. i’m mentioning this bc it wouldn’t have worked if the prof had done it- my friend has some “mean girls” in their classes, which i found frustrating bc i’ve always considered the social dynamics of a class i’m partially/in charge of to be my responsibility, and mean girls fairly easy to defuse. now i’m wondering if the reason i think that is bc i’ve primarily been in the role of cool older kid, which has a different social weight than teacher. i haven’t had to change my techniques when i’m the teacher, but most groups i’ve taught knew me as cool older kid/TA first.

anyways what are ur fav things about teaching middle school? i haven’t worked w them enough to describe middle schoolers as a category rather than as individuals or small groups, so idk if the traits are unique to the individual or the age. all i can think of is a twelve year old isn’t afraid to love dinosaurs in a way a 16 year old is afraid to.

i am IMPRESSED with the fact that you managed to send something this length through my askbox

i dunno man. middle schoolers are cool. i think a lot of people who hate on middle schoolers are like...projecting? because they remember their middle school experience sucking and just sort of assume that all middle school kids are miserable

i won't say that it's all sunshine and rainbows, but i really enjoy the age group. part of it's that i get to see my kids grow up a lot over the course of their time with me. 6th grade to 8th grade is a HUGE developmental change. but i also just think they're a lot of fun! a lot of middle schoolers are goofy and funny, and it's fun to watch them start to figure themselves out. it's also SO easy to work with them as long as you treat them as human beings with thoughts and opinions. i don't tend to have too many behavioral issues (aside from the usual talking too much) because my students know that i'm not, like, out to get them.

that's not to say there are NEVER problems- this is the age when kids really start to push their boundaries, after all- but if you don't go in with the mindset that it's going to suck, middle school is actually a great age group to teach!

#sarah teaches latin

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tickly-trashcan · 5 years ago

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Practice Session {AkaKage}

A/N: ahh I’ve never thought about akaashi and kageyama before, they’re actually very cute together! This was fun to write, it’s always interesting to write for pairings I haven’t heard of yet to test out new dynamics. I hope they were in character enough and that you enjoy this one!

Summary: Akaashi and Kageyama are practicing setter dumps, when out of the blue Kageyama has a fit of frustration.

Word Count: 1k (under the cut)

“Ugh, I can’t get it right!” Kageyama yelled, throwing the volleyball against the ground as it bounced back up, hitting him in the face.

He let out a cry of pain and crumpled to his knees, clutching his face as he whined, Akaashi walking over and kneeling down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay, Tobio?” He asked gently, rubbing his hand on Kageyama’s shoulder blades.

They were currently alone in the gym at Fukurodani, Akaashi having invited Kageyama over so they could practice some setting together. Bokuto had wanted to join, but after Akaashi silently told him that he wanted it to just be him and his boyfriend, Bokuto quickly got the hint and ran off.

“Of course I’m not okay, how am I gonna be a good enough setter if I can’t even make my setter dump not obvious? You can always tell when I’m going to do it!”

“Tobio,” They had been practicing setter dumps for the last ten minutes or so, of course Akaashi was going to know he was doing them. “How about we practice something else for the time being? How about we do some serves, you can practice with your left hand if you want.”

Kageyama uncovered his face, leaning himself into Akaashi, something he only did on occasion. Neither of them were good at affection, so they tended to do it without thinking about it or in moments when they were feeling more emotional, like now.

Akaashi wrapped an arm around Kageyama, pulling him further in as he rested his cheek against his head, giving them both a sense of security in each other for a few moments.

Kageyama finally pulled out of the semi-hug, frowning as he shook his head. “I don’t want to practice anymore, I’m no good anyway.”

Akaashi was a bit taken aback by what Kageyama said, it wasn’t like him. Was he really that down…?

Akaashi thought for a moment, trying to think of something he could do to make Kageyama feel better, when he suddenly remembered a discovery from the other day.

Akaashi scooted himself closer to Kageyama, who currently had his back partially turned. Akaashi grabbed Kageyama’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the top as Kageyama blushed softly, turning his head to look at Akaashi.

“Keiji, I just want to go home…”

Akaashi nodded. He didn’t speak, but continued to rub his thumb over Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama looked at him with a confused expression.

“Keiji?”

Akaashi suddenly pulled Kageyama into his lap, Kageyama letting out a startled gasp as he stared up at Akaashi, who looked down at him with a faint grin on his face.

“Keiji…” Kageyama said nervously, starting to pull himself out of Akaashi’s lap, but Akaashi held him firmly, both hands on Kageyama’s hips. He squeaked, looking up at Akaashi again as he wiggled around, trying to free himself of Keiji’s grasp.

“I’m done for right now Keiji, can you please let me gohoho! Hey! Stop thahahahat!”

Akaashi squeezed his hands on Kageyama’s hips, making him shriek and giggle as he fell further back into Akaashi’s lap, holding onto Akaashi’s wrists as he tried to pull them off of his sensitive hips.

Akaashi smiled slightly, pressing a kiss against the squirming Kageyama’s forehead as he continued to thrash around, giggles pouring from his lips as Akaashi kept up his ticklish onslaught.

Akaashi kept kneading Kageyama’s hips, now digging his thumb between the bone as Kageyama bucked beneath him, shrieking in ticklish agony as the sensations fired on his every nerve, driving him up the wall.

“Stohohohop it! Keiji! Dohohohon’t!” Kageyama cackled as Akaashi now moved from his hips to his sides, pinching at the soft flesh as Kageyama threw his head back on Akaashi’s shoulder.

“Don’t what?” Akaashi asked innocently, now dancing his fingers along Kageyama’s ribs as he squealed, twisting from side to side in Akaashi’s lap as he continued to try and get away. Kageyama shrieked as Akaashi suddenly dug his fingers in harder than before, wiggling them between his ribs.

“Tickle mehehehe!” Kageyama squeaked out in response to Akaashi, not even realizing what he had said until the words had slipped out of his mouth. “W-Wahahait!”

It was too late, Kageyama had sealed his doom. Akaashi grinned as he dug his hands under Kageyama’s arms, making him almost scream with laughter as he kicked his legs out desperately as he squirmed, his arms clamped down.

“NAHAHahahaha! W-WahahaHAIT! KEIJI! Stohohop!” Kageyama screeched as Akaashi somehow managed to keep tickling Kageyama in spite of how hard his arms were clamped down.

“Why should I stop, Tobio? You seem to be enjoying this,” Akaashi teased, one hand moving down and squeezing Kageyama’s thigh as he squeaked again, dissolving into more cackles as the ticklish sensations continued.

“I-I’m nohohohot enjoying it! StohohOHOP!”

Akaashi smiled, leaning down next to Kageyama’s ear and whispering, “Don’t lie to me, I know you like this~”

Kageyama’s face went bright red as he continued to laugh, Akaashi now scribbling his hands across the expanse of Kageyama’s tummy.

Akaashi wasn’t necessarily wrong in what he said, Kageyama did enjoy whenever he experienced any form of affection from him, and if that affection came in the form of tickling he was all for it.

That said, the tickling right now was getting quite exhausting for him as his started snorting and a tear trickled from his eye. His laughter finally went silent and Akaashi took that as a sign to finally give poor Kageyama a break.

Kageyama panted, still in Akaashi’s lap as Akaashi rubbed his tummy gently, helping him wind down a bit after the intense session of tickling he had just experienced. Kageyama looked up at Akaashi, narrowing his eyes at him as he crossed his arms.

“T-That was mean, Keiji,” He whined, and Akaashi only smiled. He ruffled Kageyama’s hair playfully as he whined again, swatting his hand away.

“Do you feel a bit better now? Is your head clear?” Akaashi asked, Kageyama rustling out of his lap as he now sat across from him, cheeks still a bit pink as he averted his eyes, looking at a line on the gym floor.

“Yeah, I guess I do…” He said quietly, playing with his thumbs. Akaashi smiled, reaching out and grabbing Kageyama’s hand and standing up with him.

“Wanna practice some serves before we wrap up?”

Kageyama smiled slightly, nodding. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

#anon #tickle fic #haikyuu #kageyama #akaashi

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kidrat · 4 years ago

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☕ moash?

so like,,, back when I first got into stormlight I disliked him bc a) I was 15 and didn't always have the best takes I will admit it lol and b) that was the Vibe you know and then a while later like, it was one of those things where you share a fandom opinion but you don't really interact w fandom so then when you do go in tags and see the Takes you're like oh you guys weren't... joking??? lol

like specifically I thought we were all saying 'fuck moash' partially for the meme and partially because he upset kaladin. and to be honest I did/do find Elhokar somewhat interesting!! He's a great case of shit person good character and it was kinda fun to be like 'yeah fuck moash' as shorthand like.. 'I understand and agree with the choice to kill off elhokar but I also wanted to see what Brandon would do with him and if he would grow as a person seeing as the series is based off that kind of arc and Also I am fifteen and it's fun to do the fandom thing of silly exaggerated grief for some rando getting killed off'

and then when I started to see more good and nuanced takes around Moash when I started engaging with the fandom again I did agree w those BUT I can tell you the specific moment I was like 'actually Moash Rights'. which is when someone in the tag was complaining that the moash critical group were referring to moash moving gavinor(?) out the way pre assassination as 'moash kicking a child' and i was like the who are what now. (again I thought we were being HYBERBOLIC and unnuanced FOR THE MEME hello???) and that was just so stupid that I decided to embrace moash apologism.

anyway. speaking of the moash brain rot bc I realise I've mostly talked about my own character development so far lol:

more characters should be involved in failed assassinations. (ik he succeeded but it's so funny it's the Second killing-elhokar-plan after the guy he'd been hyping up as a great killing-elhokar-candidate bailed) more characters who needed a plan b for their murders please. it's so good

I've said this before in notes somewhere but I'm infodumping <3 so <3 in the kaladin isn't a centrist au, I like to imagine it's either kaladin who kills Elhokar, or that Kaladin helps moash or guides his hand to the stabbing. Specifically I crave the moment where kaladin sees moash reconsider or feel apprehensive about the murder and realise moash isn't bloodthirsty or evil, that he has doubts just like Kaladin, and that in fact he is incredibly brave for doing what needs to be done despite not being a cold blooded killer at all. and kaladin just kind of softens. and now I'm just thinking off the top of my head but imagine if killing elhokar was an act of love. imagine if the enduring imagery of elhokar's murder was kaladin's arm on moash's back and an easing of moash' burdens??? imagine if it was beautiful and the sun set over them and elhokar went out quietly.

related. kinda the same point in fact but we needed a paragraph break SO i just reread that scene and it's kinda sexy that moash a) uses a spear to do it when the series has so much symbolism surrounding weapons and has associated spears so much w darkeyes and specifically the oppression of darkeyes! and then that b) he KICKS AWAY ELHOKAR'S SHARDBLADE!!! he really said 'i will take down the bourgeoisie with the symbol of my low status and then reject the symbol of their power, explicitly stating that by removing those in power I do not intend to replace them but to reject the entire system that gave them power' that slapped. and then ofc the bridge four salute which is more of the same

'He looked at Kaladin, then quietly made the Bridge Four salute, wrists tapped together. The spear he held dripped with Elhokar's blood' worm

something something rosharan communist flag but it's a spear instead of a sickle idk what the other thing wld be tho

also going back to that quote, the dynamic of an assassin working For someone in their mind without that person wanting it is kinda cool like to take a break from political commentary... fellas is it gay to dedicate your kills to a man who is horrified by them and renounces you completely despite how you are tied to each other? fellas is it also very outdoor housecat to do that? in conclusion uuuh catboy moash I think? kinda lost the track on that one

to speak on the ship I do think they're both gay idk if Kaladin has a specific crush on Moash (i think he had like a small one on him in WoK/WoR) but Moash definitely is attracted to Kaladin. Like i'm not necessarily invested in the relationship, tbh it takes a lot for me to ship anything But i like the dynamic and the potential attraction involved in the dynamic and the fact it's a Queer Dynamic regardless of if it's a queer *relationship* does that make sense??? it does

I am cutting myself off here for the sake of my remaining dignity send tweet

#long post #oh my god i know u literally asked but no one asked #asks #thanks ella so uh i hope u like uh i hope u enjoy [gestures at this]#moash

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zirkkun · 4 years ago

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For the "Writers' Would You Ever..." game, if you are still doing that.

Would you ever write, hmmm, um, Sansby or Soriel? I know (at least I am pretty sure), you like both ships.

The Soriel stuff you rb'ed around Soriel Week was super cute by the way (I esp. loved renrink's stuff, esp. the one for the Unrequited (?) prompt; which was so gorgeous and got me right in the heart. The Underlust!Soreil you drew was also super cute; can always do w/ more UL!Soriel (as well as UL!Sansby).

So yeah, I know you like Soriel (I love it too). Still wanted to ask about it.

...However, I wanted to ask even more about if you would do/write Sansby (which, I know/pretty sure you like too. I love it too), because I am pretty sure in UL, Sansby was a thing (I think. Either way, I like UL Sansby a lot), but in ULR, Sans and Grillby hate each other. Why you gotta do us Sansby and/or UL Sansby fans like that, huh? Almost as bad as when Lynx japed/tricked us into thinking there might be nice, cute Soriel in Paper Trail; only for Sans to be basically trying to get info out of Toriel. Why must you both do us like this?

If you can't tell, I am not really being serious about; I mainly joking. Though, that stuff in Paper Trail did actually really get me though (loved how that conversation between Sans and Tori was written though), and Sans and Grillby hating each other in ULR does hurt my (I also find it really, really funny though. Esp. since you drew that scene with Grillby yelling at Ace to get out of his bar. Idk, I just find their whole dynamic hilalrous) Sansby and UL!Sansby loving heart. Anyway yeah, considering that. I gotta know if you write some Sansby in the future (Soriel too ofc). Also, you don't have to answer both (i.e. both Soriel and Sansby), you can just answer one or the other if you want to.

PS: I had such trouble figuring out how to do Asks. I couldn't find a way to send you an Ask if the your Tumblr was in fullscreen; I had to change and make it desktop/not fullscreen in order send this ask. It was so weird. It probably had something to do with your Tumblr's format change/new look (which, really surprised me, and took some getting used to. Esp. it being Green and not purple; though I really like both colors. And also the Underverse Ink Gif being gone; though I also like the 3 Pink Sanses (Classic, Ink, and Blue) that you have in the top right corner now though. I like the new look/format though; just took me some getting used to; since I was so used to your old look/format); hope Tumblr fixes that.

I am also guessing your new Format/look also has something to do with me able to write REALLY long asks now and apparently add images and gifs and stuff. I thought it was a mobile thing (I tried the Tumblr app, didn't find any options like that), but it looks like it is not (I am on pc now)?

Sorry, this Ask ended up quite long (if it is too long for you, you don't have to answer it, if you don't want to); I hadn't sent an Ask like this in a bit (since you were on hiatus and stuff, and I didn't want to bug you), and I ended up having a lot to say. Also, being able to send an Ask this long now in the 1st place; was just too much power for me; too much. Which reminds me! I am happy you are at least partially off hiatus! I hope you sorted things out well, and that you are doing well. :)

*cracks knuckles* alright lemmie go thru and answer this all!

As for your first question, maybe! I've never been too big on writing ship things much to begin with tbh, not because I have anything against them, but just cause I don't really get the same enjoyment out of them as I do writing self insert fics... but AU versions are fun! Not like how we have in the UT fandom but more like regular AU things, such as like an old scrapped fic i had for another fandom where the two characters were princes from opposing kingdoms but they couldn't marry because it would not benefit their families. The original show had nothing to do with that. Those are fun. So are the classic coffee shop or university AUs. So something like that for Soriel or Sansby would be fun too!

For the record though, I don't have anything against Sansby. I find it humorous that Grillby in canon literally says like nothing and yet a ship came out of Sans owing him money, but nothing against the ship. There's a lot of cute work out there with it and I could have sworn I'd reblogged some at som point? Hm. Maybe I'll just have to reblog more 👀✨

I think I may have said this a long time ago, before the rename for ULR; but Ace's role is probably one of the closest to his original character in UL, I merely added on to it and tweaked the story behind the Lust serum. Hugo and Ace did not always hate each other, in fact they were just as close as their UL counterparts at one point! But something happened that caused them to split, and the falling out didn't end well.

Also, as for the asks format changing, that's on Tumblr! They've been very glitchy and terrible on desktop. Hopefully my new theme hasn't broken them completely on top of that. It worked for me when I double-checked it, since I know a lot of people have been having issues with the update and literally everyone wants it to go back 😂 sorry you had such a struggle tho!

#long post #chatxkilluaxnoir #underlust reimagine question

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constantdangers · 4 years ago

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11 for walter, 13, and 16 for wilson? no idea if u want to specify muses but i did ✨anyway✨

Canon Questionnaire

[ Thank you sky and thank you for specifying the muses!! It definitely make it easier on me since I have quite a few ;w; I put it under a read more cause I got a little lengthy!

11. Are there some things you dislike about how the show/series/etc. portray the character you have picked up? If so, what?

I mean, I'm sure there's something? But off the top of my head I honestly can't think of anything, as Walter, Willow, and Wendy are tied for my favorite character in DST! Even my normal thought of "I wish we knew more about this character" isn't really applicable because honestly, that's just all of DST isn't it??

We know so little about everything and everyone and some people might find that annoying and I definitely understand that, but I do think it's part of the fun in terms of coming up with our own thoughts and stuff, especially when it comes to RP! Walter is honestly just...a very good boy your honor. I am picking him up and adopting him as we speak.

13. Are there any other characters from the franchise you’d like to play?

Ah, this is actually a question I've debated about! See, I'm very active on discord and me and my loved ones do lots of DST related rps. In me and my partner's threads we often share the burden of who plays who, but my other two friends play just their OCs and I play every single survivor as they're needed, on top of Charlie and the monsters. I don't mind, I actually enjoy it, but because of that I've thought about bringing more muses here and the only thing stopping me is I feel like I have too many kjenafjka;;

Out of everyone, I'd love to play Wormwood, Wurt, Wortox or Webber! They're on my list of favorite characters as well and I genuinely love them very much!

16. What is your personal ship bias for your canon character?

Oh boy...outing myself here huh? Wilson is one of those characters I multiship with and I think that's partially because he's very malleable to multiple scenarios and many of his ship dynamics just...work, or if it's because I've been into DS/T since it first released? It used to be my special interest for about six years alongside another game: an indie Russian horror game called Knock Knock. You might have seen the character from said game listed on my muse list, and that's just because I've had the crossover for DST/Knock Knock since the games existed and well...it's embarrassing to say I shipped Wilson and the Lodger for the longest time.

Anyway, in terms of actual other in game characters, I did always see Wilson as LGBTQ+ in some form or another (partially the reason why he's estranged from his family) and I think I would have to say Willowson and Wes x Wilson are my big two(I dont know the name for the latter though). Despite the previously mentioned biases, I am always opening to doing ship threads of any kind with Wilson minus Maxwil, just for personal reasons ^^"" ]

#(sorry for the text wall I've never been succinct ever /lh)#(i should probably specify 'ship threads of any kinds' does NOT mean gross stuff with kids or whatever or i will launch you into the sun #not you sky just people in general ;;)#🐺 In The Dark I Have No Name | Asks #🐺 Howling At The Moon | OOC #🔬 Blue Is The Most Scientific Color | Info/Headcanons #🌲 Inspiration For A New Campfire Story | Info/Headcanons #skyistheground

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literaphobe · 5 years ago

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The CorpseKkuno deal is pretty interesting, cause Sykkuno is straight (I don't remember of Corpse, he prolly disclosed it some time ago, if ever), but Sy has a trauma that makes him aversive of women, and Corpse is a Simp For Sykkuno, just as everyone else, but a bit more, even more than Toast. Plus, their social anxiety is through the roof. Videos don't bother them, but for example, only Anthony Padilla*, Pewds, Séan, and Dave, as far as we know, may know what he looks like. *Partially.

i think their among us dynamic is so sweet 🥺 also yeah corpse husband simping for sykkuno is very fun to watch. did y’all see that video where toast killed sykkuno because he was jealous (and also the impostor JSJSJDJ) and corpse was SO upset he was like i’m tunneling toast. i don’t care. how DARE you kill sykkuno. bro it was like a soap opera because sykkuno and corpse husband promised to protect each other but the lights went out and corpse went to do a task and when he returned sykkuno was dead :( BUT he managed to get toast voted out

anyway yeah i feel so bad for sykkuno :( he was apparently playing Minecraft w toast and sharing his women-related trauma :( some lady asked him for his phone number once and wrote it in a bathroom and he kept getting calls of harassment from strangers :( and now he doesn’t think that women can actually like him :( and he’s really like. pure hearted like someone made a “hey i have a really big chest” joke in Minecraft and there was this huge treasure chest and they were waiting for him to get the joke and he was like oh yeah you have a really big chest good for you!!! :D and they were like HHHHH and then he was like oh. oh omg sorry dndndnd And like he told toast “oh i feel better when men tell me i’m good looking than if a woman tells me because I get paranoid that the woman just wants to like flame me or make fun of me” and that’s just so :( like i get it. i am also traumatized i get it. but it doesn’t make him like mistreat women or like refuse to play w them like. i just get good vibes from him. anyway toast was like “bro ur good looking :(“ and simped for him only for CORPSE HUSBAND TO STEAL HIM

it’s really funny like sykkuno came online for the game and corpse husband was like HI SYKKUNO HI HI and sykkuno was like oh? hi corpse! and then corpse was like SEE he said hi back to me first he’s mine :) and toast was like sykkuno are u cheating on me???? and corpse was like sykkuno would NEVER cheat 😤 and sykkuno was so confused

there was also this other game where sykkuno and corpse were both chilling together standing together as crewmates in a room so they got DOUBLE KILLED FJDJD and sykkuno was like omg... we should stick together next round and protect each other :) and corpse was like ok :) AND THEN sykkuno was the impostor WITH TOAST and sykkuno felt SO bad he couldn’t bring himself to kill corpse he said we are NOT killing corpse and then toast killed corpse and when sykkuno walked back and saw it he mourned him but he couldn’t report it :( and when corpse saw sykkuno walk away from his dead body he was SO SAD :( he was like oh.... oh........ and then everyone accused toast of being jealous KFKSKDJSJ

#ask #there’s SO MUCH MORE #i found out about all this last night #i went to bed at 3 #it was a VERY long day #i could’ve slept earlier but i was watching #the 3 among us compilations corpse put on his channel #that dude is REALLY good at among us #also i agree #they both seem like really anxious people #i get the vibe that they have a lot of trauma #it’s so nice watching them befriend each other!!!#and other players!!!!!#and like the whole romance bit is really funny #i don’t mind at all that they’re playing into it #creating romantic subplots w ur friends on among us......#that is SO fun

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oh-for-merlins-sake · 5 years ago

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Congrats on 100 followers lovely! You’ve come up on my feed a few times so I thought I was following you but I wasn’t???? Wtf??? So hi now I’m actually following you and I’ll definitely be binging your fics when I have the time 😂💜

Hope you’re doing well lovely! Would it be alright to request a 🔮 for my George fic “stop trying”? Sending all my love and hugs, congrats again sweetheart!!!!!

omg hi!! thank you so much! i hope you’re having/had a fantastic day!

stop trying

ok we’re already off to a great start because george weasley owns my soul so thank you for blessing us w/ this content lmao

AND Y/N IS A HUFFLEPUFF 💛

i constantly crave weasley twins x hufflepuff content, which is partially due to the fact that i am a hufflepuff obvs, but also because it always turns out to be such a cute dynamic and I LOVE IT

p.s. now’s a good time to mention that if anyone has fred/george x hufflepuff content they’d like to share, PLEASE DO 💛

“Yeah,” George chuckled humourlessly, watching her walk away quicker than other people, still concerned. “Fun.”

omg i swear george weasley could run me over with a train and i would thank him

CUTE CONCERNED GEORGE IS EVERYTHING

aaaah i love when supportive wing-woman ginny makes an appearance!

This was George Weasley who we were on about. If George had enough courage to literally elbow a Slytherin in the face during a Quidditch game, then he could make a girl smile.

is it bad i think that image is kind of attractive.... LMAO

aw who hurt y/n :(

Maybe other people would’ve been annoyed at how quickly she shut him down, or even irritated by her snappiness, but instead George was a little proud that at least he got her to talk, and now he knew her name. If he was being honest he thought it was a pretty name, and he would’ve told her that if he didn’t want to leave her alone for a little while. Maybe she’d open up a little more as time went on.

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE PARAGRAPH! he is just so happy to know her name and have his presence acknowledged by her. it just gives me such “it’s her world, and i’m just livin’ in it” vibes, which i adore!

She didn’t.

LMAO oh no!! did you see how excited i just got!! dammit amber! 😔

oh no i really hope this doesn’t break my or poor georgie’s heart. i just want y/n to be happy :(

George stumbled over his words for a moment. What was he meant to say? He couldn’t say that she was interesting, because they barely had spoken properly. So after a moment he just sighed and decided to tell the truth. “Because you just seem a little down, and I want to help.”

my heart is bursting at the seams from this!! i love wholesome george!! like he literally just wants to help because his favorite thing to do is make people smile and laugh and bring joy to the people around him. i simply love the way you’ve written him here.

oh no... y/n.... i just want to hug her 😞

George frowned, his stomach immediately sinking. If he’d have known, he would have went around trying to make her talk to him a lot differently. He couldn’t help but feel guilty about thinking she was just moody, his gaze softening as he looked at her.

i love the internal monologues you’ve written for george. i always like reading pieces from their perspectives, which i think can be tricky to write, but i think you did a fantastic job w/ it here.

But after a while she started talking to him. They conversed through potions, and at breakfast when George had permanently started sitting with her, talking about the most random things. She smiled a little at a few of his jokes, and though it didn’t quite meet her eyes, it made George smile twice as wide to know he’d made her smile.

i am SMITTEN, amber. SMITTEN.

Eventually, he made her laugh.

AHHHH this is so bloody cute!

AMBERRRRRR! this was absolutely 10000% adorable. you wrote the dynamic between the two of them so well — not to mention, you just wrote george so well. stellar job!! i could re-read this piece a million times. it’s just such a nice feel-good piece and i think the world could always use more of those. WICKED WORK! xo

@hufflepuffgirly

#stef's 100 followers sleepover #fic rec #george wealsey x reader

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rivalsforlife · 5 years ago

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I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE DOING COMMENTARY hope it's not too late to ask for The Scene at the end of chapter 5 of the catch up game?? if no one else has asked?

It is never too late to ask!! Genuinely you could probably ask me six months from now and I’ll ramble on about all this, I’m generally down to talk about my writing all the time. (And I’m actually a little surprised nobody asked about The Scene yet... oh well haha)

First though: have you seen this art yet? If you haven’t you should. It was going around twitter again lately and I love it a lot so I wanted to advertise it while I had the chance.

Anyways, keeping under a “keep reading” here:

So. The Scene. First I’ll present my notes from the outline when I was trying to figure out this fic:

Miles lets his feelings slip, Phoenix doesn’t take it too well, they part on a kind of awkward note.

Somehow “kind of an awkward note” ended up being uhhh that!

Anyways before we get into this I want to say that I really did not think it would have that much of an emotional impact? I got a much bigger reaction than I thought and that’s around when people really started talking about it on the narumitsu discord and stuff, so I ended up for the rest of the week soooo stressed out that I’d accidentally gone in a completely different direction than I’d planned and set people’s expectations too high and they would be COMPLETELY DISAPPOINTED IN THE REST OF THE FIC but uh luckily that didn’t happen! I think. At least if anyone was super disappointed they didn’t tell me about it!

And it was probably partially that I am not very uhh good with emotions and also probably that I got pretty desensitized to my work but I genuinely did not think it was that bad until I saw Ro’s art and then went “ohhh suddenly I am consumed with so much guilt...” (and also doubted how in character this scene was. how can ANYONE say no to that face --)

Most critically though, this scene distracted everyone from whatever the hell was going on with the casefic earlier in the chapter, so overall I think it’s a success.

Sorry it’s taking a while to get to the actual scene, but I wrote a few drafts of this thing beforehand and modified it a lot trying to get it right. I needed it to be sufficiently dramatic but I didn’t want it to seem like... I was just adding it in there for extra conflict? Like you know sometimes you read stuff and you’re like “where the hell did this sudden argument come from” yeah. I wanted to avoid that if I could, so partially this was supported by the weight of chapter 4 to explain Phoenix’s reasons for the rejection and then chapter 6 is supposed to elaborate more, but I still needed this to stand fairly well on its own.

The overall theme of this chapter was “Opposites”, and again, here’s what I had in my fic notes:

I want to contrast how Phoenix sees Miles and how Miles sees Phoenix. Because they both kind of see each other as an amazing person while seeing themselves as failures. Maybe at the end Phoenix is kind of putting himself down and Miles argues about it and then they have a slight argument. Miles lets his feelings slip, Phoenix doesn’t take it too well, they part on a kind of awkward note.

I couldn’t really find a way to integrate this conversation in naturally, so I could only get Phoenix’s perspective in there a little bit. Originally Miles’ confession wasn’t supposed to be planned, just a spur of the moment in the middle of an argument where Phoenix kind of goes “I don’t understand why you keep hanging out with me, why are you spending so much time with me, I’m not struggling, I don’t need you worrying about me” and Miles interrupts with a “Because I love you, you idiot!” ... But I couldn’t get that to work because the buildup into the argument felt too abrupt.

Last little bit of something just before the argument (some of the dialogue here went into the chapter 4 dinner conversation instead):

Miles: (quietly) I’ve spent most of my life trying to climb higher in my career, in order to fight corruption as best I could. And I have, and every day my mission is growing closer to completion, or at least as much as it can. But after that… (staring at some kids’ toy) what’s left for me? I’ve taken a rather unconventional path through life. I’m starting to wonder about opportunities I’ve missed.

Phoenix: (jokingly) Is that some long-winded way of telling me you’re planning on settling down?

Miles: I’d never settle. But in some sense, I suppose so.

Phoenix: (stopping in his tracks) You’re kidding. L-Like, what, in a year or so I’m gonna walk in to your office one day and find you with a wife and kids?

Miles: (rolling his eyes) You do know that I’m gay, don’t you? And why would I keep them in my office? There’s no need to be so melodramatic, Wright.

Again couldn’t fit it in I just found it funny. ANYWAYS FINALLY MOVING AWAY FROM THE DRAFTS AND TO THE ACTUAL THING, I’ll skip ahead a bit to just before the confession:

“How long has it been since I came here?”

“I dunno… since before I got my badge back, probably.”

“That sounds about right.” Edgeworth sighed and leaned against Phoenix’s desk. “I’ve barely gotten the chance to see you, since you got your badge back and I took my new position. I’ve missed going up against you in court.”

“I don’t,” Phoenix teased, slipping his case notes into his desk drawer. “You’re a nightmare.”

“You’re one to talk.” The corners of Edgeworth’s eyes crinkled as he looked over at him. “You can be so infuriating, but I do like working with you. I had fun today.”

Phoenix raised an eyebrow. “Fun? You?”

“I suppose age has softened me up.”

“I didn’t think anything could soften you up.”

“You’d be surprised. I often have fun when I’m with you. I always…” He trailed off, averting his eyes and gripping his elbow. “I’ve been… thinking, a bit. On our earlier conversation.”

So basically... Miles got preeetty close to confessing during their dinner in chapter 4, but kinda backed out at the last moment, and he’s been agonizing over this ever since. Because the way he interpreted their conversation was sort of “We both want to move forward into a relationship but don’t know how to take the steps to do so”, whereas Phoenix interpreted more as a consensus that “We could probably start a relationship and there are feelings there but it wouldn’t really work out so we just won’t ever talk about it”.

And Miles throughout this fic assumed that Phoenix has been in love with him for a while and only holding back for Miles’ own sake, and waiting for Miles to signal that he’s actually ready to move into a romantic relationship. ... Which is very much not the case. What makes today different though is that Miles got to watch Phoenix solve mysteries, and I’m of the opinion that Miles considers Phoenix at his most attractive when he is uncovering the truth!! so Miles pretty much just saw him solve this case and go “I must kiss this man on the lips Right Now” but thought he should clear some things up before he did that.

which is good because if he just walked up to Phoenix and kissed him without preamble I’m pretty sure Phoenix would have died, so.

Something imperceptibly changed in the atmosphere. It made Phoenix’s heart race faster in anticipation. “Oh? Which one?”

“The one we had during the last dinner we shared.”

“O-Oh.” That had been weeks ago. Surely Phoenix had forgotten something.

“Everything has changed so much, over the course of my career, between us.” Edgeworth’s eyes flickered up to him briefly before settling back down on the desk. “I’ve never been afraid of moving forward, but this, I want…” He exhaled, shakily. “Give me a minute. This is… difficult.”

Phoenix kind of... knows, subconsciously, where this is going, but he’s trying to deny it until the last minute because he’s very unprepared and has no idea how to deal with this... which will become very clear by the end of the scene.

Miles is tricky to write in a confession scene because he can be kind of weird with emotions? Sometimes he’ll give these Grand Speeches about how much That Man means to him but at the same time he struggled a lot with talking about his feelings during the trilogy and I think he’d still struggle with it now. Especially something as raw and vulnerable as a love confession.

And Miles is also someone who is, at least by the Investigations duology, determined to pursue what is Right and what is the Truth without any sort of hesitation. However pursuing Wright is different. (insert horrible forced laugh track)

“W-Well, don’t strain yourself,” Phoenix insisted. “We can talk another day. I-It’s getting late, after all, we should —”

“We should stop dancing around the issue.” Edgeworth’s eyes snapped up and locked with Phoenix’s, pinning him in place. “Don’t go easy on me now, of all times.”

oh man I have to admit I got really into Persona 5 Royal for like a few weeks around the time I was writing this and that “don’t go easy on me now of all times” is looosely inspired by a similar line in there that’s like “do you think I’d be happy with being shown mercy now, of all times?” because although it’s a different dynamic than narumitsu I was uh. intrigued.

... sorry it’s so vague I wanted to avoid spoilers anyways, moving on,

Phoenix’s mouth ran dry. Edgeworth couldn’t possibly be planning to —

“Everything has changed between us,” continued Edgeworth. “I want things to — to continue to change, I-I want to be closer, is—” He sucked a breath in through his teeth “— is it not obvious?”

Hadn’t they agreed, in that way they could agree without saying a word, that they were never going to talk about this?

Phoenix broke his gaze. “No. It’s not. I— I don’t want to argue with you. It’s late.”

Pretty much same as previous notes: Phoenix in extreme denial that this is actually happening whereas Miles is just trying to force it all out.

Phoenix is kind of trying to talk Miles down from confessing; Miles is sort of interpreting it as “Wright isn’t going to let me get away with not actually saying this so I need to be more direct.”

I’m sure that later when Miles is curled up on his bed wondering where he went wrong he’ll think of that :)

“Phoenix.”

The use of his first name forced Phoenix to look up again.

Edgeworth stared at him for a long time. There was something impossible swimming just under the surface of his grey eyes.

“Phoenix Wright,” he said. “I am in love with you.”

HE DID IT!! He’s so brave I’m sure that nothing can go wrong!!

Gossip was one thing. Lingering touches and stolen glances, Phoenix could deal with those. The knowledge that Edgeworth was interested in him in a not-so-platonic way… that was more than enough.

This, hearing Edgeworth say the words out loud, was another thing entirely. Even if Phoenix already knew. Nothing could have prepared him for — for whatever this was, for Edgeworth, looking at him all open and vulnerable, and — and saying —

“Wh… What…?”

Edgeworth tilted his head slightly to the side, causing his bangs to fall into his face. “Surely you’ve figured it out already?”

“I-I don’t understand…”

At first there was a line right after “Even if Phoenix already knew” that was “Even if he felt the same”, but then I decided to make it so Phoenix can’t even admit his feelings to himself, so I cut that one out.

Anyways this is shocking to Phoenix partially because of Denial but also because he didn’t expect Miles to actually come out and say something like this. He’s used to Miles being closed off with his emotions and doesn’t think him the type to ever directly acknowledge them, so it’s got him totally off guard, too. It’s unpredictable for someone who is supposed to know Miles so well so it’s very unnerving for him.

“I… I think you are incredible,” said Edgeworth. “Your single-minded dedication to truth and justice. Your compassion. Your mercy. The way you… brought light, brought life, back into my world. You can be so frustrating, and stubborn, but that’s part of why I have always admired you so much.” The corners of his eyes softened. “You saved me a thousand times over, and I want to spend the rest of my life by your side… however you want me.”

Miles generally people go on at least one date before proposing marriage but okay.

One thing I find interesting about Miles as a character is that he’s very much an all-or-nothing kind of person... he doesn’t ever really half-ass things and he doesn’t know how to do things gradually haha. He won’t allow the truth to be covered in darkness for even a moment even if it makes things easier for him in the long run. Saying “I think you’re great, maybe we should go on a few dates and see how things end up?” is probably the SENSIBLE thing to say, but Miles puts 100% of himself into everything that he does post-character development; and he’s secure enough in his relationship with Phoenix that he doesn’t really feel the need to test the waters. Plus Miles is allergic to uncertainty, so by the time he confesses he’d need to be absolutely certain that he loved Phoenix Wright and was prepared to pretty much go all in with him.

after all Phoenix feels the same way right!!

Phoenix stared. His heartbeat was reverberating in his ears. “I don’t know what to say. … Me.”

“Who else?”

“Who — a-anyone else. God, Edgeworth, what even is that shit, about me being i-intelligent, and dedicated, and compassionate, and — and — incredible, geez, I’m a wreck! I—” His voice wavered into a fit of near hysteria. “The only reason I’ve gotten this far is ‘cause I’ve always had amazing people by my side, and — and once they’re gone I’m back to whatever I usually am, I-I only have this one suit, I still haven’t got my freaking driver’s license, I don’t think I’ve eaten anything but instant meals in a month—”

(And he looked to Edgeworth, desperately, but Edgeworth was still gazing at him, expression gentle, gentle yet unyielding, not taking back his words or expressing an ounce of regret — why wasn’t he changing his mind —)

“You’re describing yourself more than me,” said Phoenix weakly. “Really, I’m not — I’m not like that, okay, I’m not…” He forced himself to take a deep breath. “Why are you telling me this?”

This is the one part that stayed consistent throughout all drafts of this scene haha. Some of it is echoes from what Godot told him back in Bridge to the Turnabout about him always needing someone to swoop in at the last minute to the rescue; others are sort of a loose refence to his behaviour during the beginning of RFTA and Reunion and Turnabout where he couldn’t really function without Maya there to look after.

This part sort of ties more into that objective I had with this chapter of contrasting how they see themselves; they both see each other as incredible people, because they don’t really get to see inside each other and see how much of a wreck they feel.

Also the very first sort of script of this confession had Phoenix saying “I thought you knew me better than this!” but that just seemed way too cruel for this haha.

“I know that I… that I have difficulty with these things,” said Edgeworth, fingers gripping the edge of the desk. “I’ve never been the most open of people and we’ve — we’ve always been so distant, for so long. I wasn’t there for you when I should have been, and I want that to change. Because, ever since we met… you’ve been such a major part of my life. I never thought I would live to be older than my father. I never thought I would be happy with myself. But you, you came into my life, and you changed all that.”

(That wasn’t you,) a voice in Phoenix’s heart whispered. (You only started it. The rest was all him.)

“But I don’t want to be satisfied with what I have right now. I still want more. There’s still a part of life I want to explore, and… I want to do it with you.”

(He’s always been fine without you. One day he’s going to realize it too, and then…)

“I’m tired of hiding my emotions and being too afraid to upset the status quo when it comes to relationships. I refuse to be scared of that anymore.”

(Why isn’t he scared, too?)

ugh this was the hardest part to write I think...? Trying to figure out a way to get Phoenix’s internal feelings across where it doesn’t come out of nowhere. I settled with a lot of internal thoughts that are just like... self-loathing, pretty much.

Meanwhile Miles has prepared this whole emotional monologue that Phoenix is only half listening to, basically about what a huge impact Phoenix has had in his life and how he’s sort of... now that he’s presumably made large steps to fixing the justice system he’s turning to more personal goals in life, and one of those goals is spending his life with Phoenix, if he can be brave enough to do it.

Phoenix isn’t paying attention though because he’s too busy panicking...

“Most of all, I… I couldn’t hide anything from you for long. I’d trust you with the world. You’re my equal, and my opposite.” Something resembling a shaky smile crossed Edgeworth’s face. “And I love you.”

me shoving the “theme of the day” in there awkwardly

But he smiles!! This is one of the rare occasions where Miles kind of does smile... there’s a lot of “almost-smile”s or brief smiles and Miles is scared out of his wits here but he’s happy. he finally got that off his chest. he was brave and he told Phoenix how he felt and they’ll be so, so happy together, nothing can possibly go wrong,

The words knocked out any breath Phoenix had managed to regain. His skin suddenly felt cold and clammy, and he was faced with vertigo more intense than standing on rooftops. What was happening to him?

There was something he was supposed to say to this. He should react to this normally. His mouth was drier than a desert. His tongue felt unsightly and awkward in his mouth.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you that if I have somehow misinterpreted, I won’t mention this again.” Unease and uncertainty flickered behind Edgeworth’s eyes. “And I would never be upset, as long as you tell me the truth. I want to take the next steps of my life with you. … Do you feel the same way?”

oh yeah this part was a little tricky too. Pretty much Phoenix is on the verge of a full-blown panic attack and cannot think of a response, even a nice polite rejection... and finally Miles starts realizing that something’s off, because before he was just running on adrenaline to try and get his feelings out that he didn’t stop to examine Phoenix’s reactions, otherwise he would’ve started overthinking and psyched himself out. But now that he got it out and seeing Phoenix pretty much in shock he’s starting to worry he’d made a mistake.

Also “unease and uncertainty” is definitely an “unnecessary feelings” reference because I’m shameless.

Yes, Phoenix wanted to say, yes, I do, and say what he felt, what he wanted. But the words wouldn’t come.

Why couldn’t he say it? It should be easy. If he truly wanted this, it should be as easy as breathing.

His vision swam with pink butterflies, he ran his tongue over the scars in his mouth, his breath caught jagged on the edges of chains —

Aaaand if either one of them had the magatama right now there would be the psyche-locks! I was gonna elaborate on this a lot but this is so far waaay longer than I intended so I’ll spare you and give a brief summary.

Essentially there are three locks. I wrote them as sort of representing each issue that Phoenix needs to acknowledge for them to break -- not necessarily fix, because that would be a super tricky thing, but acknowledging they’re there is a start. They’re pretty much “Trust”, “Abandonment”, and “Vulnerability”. Later I realized those issues are pretty much tied up in each other so instead I just made it so that each one is set by a traumatic event, and then acknowledging those events is what breaks them.

The first is an obvious “Dahlia and Iris really screwed up Phoenix’s ability to trust a partner romantically”. I love Iris but she really did mess him up as well. Phoenix kind of convinced himself he’s over this issue now since Iris was a good person! but really he’s still messed up about it. (And that’s where the butterflies + scars in his mouth sort of come from). Talking to Iris and acknowledging that he’s still hurting over it is what breaks this one.

The second is more directly related to all the times Miles himself has abandoned him particularly throughout the series. Some of the hurt when Miles prosecuted him in Turnabout Sisters, and definitely a lot regarding “Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Death”, it’s pretty much him being scared to get /too/ attached to Miles because he fears Miles might abandon him again. This one breaks in chapter 7 when he has the whole realization that Miles might die and leave him regardless, and acknowledges how afraid he is of Miles leaving again.

And the last is more of acknowledging his need to be needed by people and help people but they move on without him and not don’t really him in their lives. This built up more gradually... with littler things like Apollo leaving the Agency and Maya not being around as much and Trucy moving out. Neither of these are Big Bad Traumatic Events like the other two but it’s still an issue Phoenix has that he needs to acknowledge. Trucy’s letter breaks this one by telling him he’s never going to be alone and they all love him and are there for him. And that’s why right after reading the letter he can tell Miles that he loves him.

So that’s that. Moving back to the actual story now...

“Phoenix?”

Edgeworth still stood so close, too close, and when Phoenix breathed his senses were assaulted by the scent of his cologne and — and he was too close, and his words were too much, Edgeworth couldn’t be in love with him. Attracted, sure, but love — how could he so easily say love?

This wasn’t like Edgeworth. This wasn’t how things were before, this wasn’t how things had always been, every time things changed too fast something would go wrong, every time things changed too fast Edgeworth would leave again —

(— and right now Edgeworth’s body was coiled tight with tension, like a spring, ready to take off at any sudden movement —)

— and Phoenix couldn’t say a word.

Fairly self-explanatory I think: basically acknowledging that fear that Miles is going to leave again.

Phoenix was standing on the edge of a turnabout. Somewhere he’d have to take the plunge for victory, for the truth. He’d never shied from them before. He’d always accepted the risks. And they’d (almost always) paid off.

But something had Phoenix in a vice. Dark chains that wrapped around his chest and constricted his lungs. Something that would drown him if he took the plunge. Something that whispered that he could not risk this, his heart and his life in one. There was too much to lose. It was all too much.

That little (almost always) there is referencing that one time he presented the critical case-changing evidence and got disbarred for it; his disbarment messed him up pretty bad too, I guess it’d fit in the category of the third psyche-lock.

And of course the second paragraph references the psyche-locks more directly before they actually show up.

The words came. They weren’t the ones he wanted.

“No,” said Phoenix. “No, I don’t.”

The rattling in Phoenix’s head cut out. Silence fell over the room.

Pretty much once Phoenix stops pressing the issue the psyche-locks stop shaking. I imagine they’re a pretty terrible thing to break directly; he can’t do it on his own like this.

“... I see,” said Edgeworth, and something snapped shut, drew tight, rigid, back to a statue. “I thought… nevermind.”

Miles kind of draws back into himself all tightly-controlled, less open than before, because that really hurt him a lot. He’d probably prefer it than Phoenix being all evasive and sort of reassuring because he prefers people just cut straight to the facts, but that was direct even for him.

And of course he thought that Phoenix did feel that way about him. He was certain of it. So hearing Phoenix didn’t and he was completely wrong is... not good.

He’d gone so still. At the sight of it, whatever spell was holding Phoenix in its grasp broke, and he came back to reality — this wasn’t right, this wasn’t good, he had to fix this, somehow, bring things back to the way they were, “Edgeworth—”

And the sight of Miles completely freezing up and closing himself off is enough to break Phoenix free of the initial panic, because he does care a lot about Miles, and seeing him withdraw worries him.

“It’s getting late,” said Edgeworth, and only someone as experienced as Phoenix could detect the waver in his voice. “Thank you for being honest with me, Wright. I’ll talk to you later.”

The remark stung worse than a knife would, he couldn’t let it end like this. “I—”

The office door shut, none too gently. Phoenix was alone.

“... I’m sorry.”

That “thank you for being honest with me” wasn’t SUPPOSED to be a jab, of course, because Miles would prefer that Phoenix was honest than lie to him. But Phoenix did lie and that’s what bothers Phoenix the most throughout the next couple of chapters; they both value the truth so highly that lying to each other is inconceivable.

And Miles probably should have stuck around for a bit and heard Phoenix out and maybe Phoenix could have managed a half-decent explanation of “okay I don’t know what that was but this was very sudden and I’m panicking, can you give me time to process?” but if Miles stayed for much longer he probably would have started breaking down and that’s the last thing he wants to do right now, especially in front of Phoenix, so he left as soon as possible.

I think he managed to repress enough that he could get home safely, but the moment he crossed the threshold into privacy he probably had himself a good cry... curled up on the couch and watched some Steel Samurai with a tub of ice cream... but he was pretty emotionally devastated by this. It took a lot of effort for him to open up and be honest about his feelings so just being shut down like that... hurt a lot. He’d never admit it though.

anyways I also have this short bit of writing I posted a while back about Miles actually getting a hug after all this, because he really needs one.

And that’s the scene!! I think I said more than enough so I’ll end it here haha.

#dvd commentary meme #the catch-up game #this one got SUPER long I'm SO sorry #asks

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addictedforbooksquad · 6 years ago

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B O O K R E V I E W

╙ T H E Q U E E N O F N O T H I N G B Y H O L L Y B L A C K

genre: fantasy, young adult

publication date: 19th November, 2019

rating (1-5 scale):

writing: ★ ★ ★ ★

characters & character development: ★ ★ ★ ★

could-not-put-it-down factor: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

general rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS!

“By you, I am forever undone.”

Exhilarating. Feels-inducing. Heart-attacking. I didn't just read this book. I devoured it. Inhaled it through my pores. Drank it in with haste and thirst as if indulging in faerie wine after a year-long fast. Perhaps from a storytelling point of view, this wasn't as good as “The Wicked King” but nevertheless, I revelled in every single page. I read it in one go, from cover to cover, and all I can say is that it was absolutely worth a sleepless night. And then it left me so satisfied and full of reflections and feelings, then I just cannot stop thinking about it. And aren't those books, which leave us content and sated, and yet somehow yearning for even more of a good thing, just the best? Now, onto the details, the good and (despite 5-star rating) the bad: I. the sister thing Anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely hated Taryn in the first two books. Betrayal of her sister aside, I just found her utterly and unforgivably...boring. In "The Queen of Nothing" though, I was happy to discover depths to her character that weren't that fleshed out before. From killing Locke (YASSS!!!) to standing up to Madoc, side by side with Jude and Vivi, Taryn finally showed with her ACTIONS, not words, which side she is on. And look, this perhaps doesn't erase what she did to Jude in “The Cruel Prince” but I liked how the story unfolded between them in this last installment. This is not a series about pure-hearted good characters. They all did awful things. They all did some of those awful things to each other. So in the end, I'm glad there was no "grovelling" on Taryn's part, no act of "official" forgiveness. That's not how things work in Faerie. More than that, all the sisterly moments! Loved them! Whether it was Taryn trying to gossip about Cardan with Jude or the three sisters united against Madoc, it was great to see a positive sister relationship in a fantasy for once. I definitely prefer them together than apart and set up against each other. II. the trick thing I had lots of theories after finishing "The Wicked King" about Cardan banishing Jude from Elfhame and damn, do I have a satisfaction of getting it at least partially right. I know a lot of people hated what Cardan did in TWK but personally, I loved that plot twist. I thought it evened out the playing field between them and I always knew there was more to it anyway. And would you look at that, it was indeed a trick! When Jude and Cardan reunited and he was so utterly confused that Jude WASN'T proud of him for pulling one over her...priceless. He did it to impress her. He did it to protect her (and his kingdom). He did it to, let's face it, get back at her. It's so wonderfully twisted, my pitch-black heart rejoices and flutters. Added to that delicious cake of dark and twisted is a cherry of irony on top which is the fact that Jude did realize that she could pardon herself...and didn't. She, who is usually so smart and devious and quick to pick up on other people being smart and devious, wasn't able to see through the smoke screen and guess Cardan's true intentions. Which isn't that surprising to me, because when it comes to feelings, my daughter Jude is the most hopeless and oblivious person in that fantasy realm. That lack of trust in Cardan cost her and it only underlined what needed to change - to be able to rule together, Jude and Cardan need to lower their defences when it comes to one another. But more on that in the next point. III. the love thing Jude and Cardan's dynamic has been one of my very favourite things about this series from the start. I love them both as characters and I love them as a ship. I was happy to find out that what unravelled between them in this last installment was utterly (with some minor mishaps) satisfying. Their reunion, untangling the coiled web of mistrust and misunderstandings, learning to trust and be trusted...it was everything. I longed to see them as allies and a team, rather than enemies and reluctant/forced co-operators from the start (not that it wasn't fun to see them as enemies and reluctant allies, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN) and here I got what I wished for. Love scenes, their talk of lowering their shields, those that had been kept up for so so long, melted my heart. Cardan's love confession? Perfect! And so fitting for him in my opinion. Only he would say ILY in such an off-handed manner.

Basically:

"Hi you probably already know this because you're so smart (and I love you) but I've loved you for a long time, OK we got stuff to do BYE" Perfection 😍😂 Cardan was also, quite obviously, Jude's first stan, and I just live for relationships like that. And the longing between them was so palpable. Especially in Cardan's letters to Jude, I could feel how much he missed his Queen *ugly weeping* I'd say that Jude's confession could've been handled better, as in, there could've been even more build-up to it, considering how good she is at holding on to her walls and defences. Still, I loved it in its own way. IV. the character development thing I know there are some who were dissatisfied with the plot twist and the ending. Personally, I thought it was very fitting though. The decision that Jude faces? Between love and power, between her own humanity and the possibility of utter control over Cardan? That dilemma was the best way to capture the character development she had gone through throughout this series. Ever since the beginning, Jude had been wondering about one thing - where will she draw a line? Is there a line that she won't cross to get more power? She got her answer in this book. As Jude was making her choice between killing Cardan or killing her chances at ruling Elfhame, I was crying heavy tears of someone who had witnessed a painful yet utterly satisfying journey. Jude had always been scared. Jude had always resented being weak and human. Jude had always craved power and security for herself. Jude had always hated being vulnerable and relished in the control she gained over Cardan. And with her choice, she embraced so much of what she had once resented. She chose hardship and uncertain future and opened herself up to being hurt. She chose love. She chose being human and weak and what-the-hell-I'll-deal-with-it-because-I'm-not-weak-at-all. She chose Cardan. *this reviewer took a 5-minute break at this point to wipe off all the tears from her keyboard* The point is, I loved the character development this choice represented and yet, Jude also remained very much herself by doing this. V. the loose thread thing Not to be overly sweet on this book, there were also some loose ends, all right. For one, I wish the relationship between Cardan and his mother was explored more, same with more insight into Jude's biological parents, especially her mother. It seemed like it was teased a lot in two previous installments and yet, I didn't experience nearly as much delivery as I expected on those subjects. I just wish there was more on this. VI. other things

Cardan calling Jude his wife, THE FEELS ARE REAL

the not-so-subtle hinting at the possible Taryn-Ghost romance, I dig it

loved the conclusion to Jude and Madoc relationship, he got exactly what he deserved

onto punishment topic, I also loved that Cardan left that responsibility solely within Jude's power

underlining the fact that Cardan is very stable in his feelings, very un-faerie-like was very much appreciated, I love one (1) Faerie boy

Vivi and Heather getting their HEA as well, YESSSS

the symbolism of Cardan creating two thrones from one, my heart stopped

Cardan in the mortal world (P.S. I NEED MORE OF THIS, approximately 483949 pages more)

I could go on and on but there was just so much - and in such a (relatively) short book too. What I will say is this - The Folk of the Air had been shaping up to be one of my favourite fantasy series, and "The Queen of Nothing" made it into a fact. Which it could have very well failed to do, as it often happens with final books in a series. Because ever since I finished "The Wicked King", I've been holding my breath, waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop and for this final book not to live up to the very high expectations I've had for a conclusion not only to a great series, but also some of my very favourite characters and relationships. But after reading this, "I feel as though I can finally breathe again."

#the folk of the air #the queen of nothing #queen of nothing spoilers #book recs #jurdan #litedit #bookworm #bibliophile #book reviews #jude duarte #prince cardan #our reviews #by kate

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modestmuses-a · 5 years ago

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SHIPPING INFO !! ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?

on here, my current favorite ship is probably ekko x ava with @bystcrdust, if only because i don’t have a lot of other ships! although, they are very cute.

for general otps, i also like snufkin x moomin, cindy slam x timmy of a thousand masks, and brit crust x sheldon lee. (that last one was born of me joking around and then accidentally getting invested.) but none of those ships have actually happened on this blog!

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?

just about anything, barring smut and pregnancy. i’m not very picky otherwise!

honestly, i would love to write more one-sided stuff for angst reasons... but i need more actual two-sided ships as well.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

it depends on the age of the muse, honestly. for teenager muses, i tend not to go for age gaps more than 1-2 years. like with ekko being 16 and brit being 17, i kinda have them closed off to muses who don’t fall in the 15-17 age range.

but then with 18yo muses like snufkin and ivy, i’m willing to go a little older (not younger, for obvious reasons), like into the early 20s or so.

then there’s the joxter, who regularly crushes on people 20 years older than him, but he himself is 41, so. basically, and i think this is true in real life as well, the older somebody is, the larger the age gaps that become acceptable are.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

ha! extremely, unfortunately! i have a very difficult time just jumping into ships without feeling out the chemistry between both the muses and the muns. i find it way easier to ship with people i can actually talk to and plot with.

that, and my muses are very picky with who they end up with, too. so many of my muses are difficult to get close to and really get to know without massive development. like cyborg noodle being a massive ball of paranoia and brit needing to learn to value other people and not be so stuck up. cindy slam is also very difficult to get in a healthy ship due to her anger issues and destructive tendencies (both towards herself and others).

i really do want more ships on this blog for someone other than ekko for once, but the muses... they just don’t cooperate. i want to ship all the aforementioned characters with someone, but i feel like i won’t be able to find anyone patient enough for it... everybody wants their ships and they want them NOW.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

i don’t really write anything that could be considered nsfw, so i’m not really sure! i’m just going to piggy back off of the answer of the person i stole this from and say that anything beyond heavy making out, like if the characters start feeling each other up and taking their clothes off and stuff, probably counts.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

ekko x cora x christophe is an ot3 i have going with pagan ( @delinquentborn / @martyrnot ), which is fun because it’s the first ot3 i’ve ever had on this blog. we haven’t done that much with them yet, but i like them nonetheless.

i also like the potential dynamic of snufkin x jack frost (rotg) and i’m looking at all these jacks like ship w me you cowards...

but really, there are very few people i’m not willing to ship my muses with. if there is chemistry there, i am usually willing to give it a shot.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

like i said, it’s easier for me to ship with plotting, so i would like to talk about it a little bit first, generally. however, i’m not opposed to ships happening organically through threads, either. it’s just going to take a long long time to get some of my muses to the point where an organic ship happens, haha! if you want to ship, it’s better to ask me so that i can start trying to nudge them in that direction, since 80% of the time, they will adamantly oppose going there on their own.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

ship more-or-less. i’m aromantic myself, so romantic stories aren’t something that i absolutely need. i do feel a little bit left out of the fun at times, but the rpc’s over-reliance on romantic plots grates on me sometimes. sometimes, a bitch just wants to see something original.

so, no, i definitely wouldn’t consider myself ship obsessed, and if somebody approaches me only with the intention of shipping, it is extremely off-putting.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

yeah! i don’t want to close myself off to what other people have to offer and miss out on all those sweet dynamics, so i keep myself open. at least, as open as i can be, given the way my muses are. :/

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

well, in the case of league of legends, i don’t actually like any ships that i can think of. all of the popular ships bore the absolute shit out of me, even the canon ones! not a fan of rakan/xayah, honestly.

for my other fandoms, though, i already mentioned snufkin x moomin, cindy x timmy, and brit x sheldon.

i’m also partial to joxter x fillyjonk, and between them and brit x sheldon, you can really tell i’m a slut for opposites attract ships, haha!

for ava’s demon, i was always most partial to ava x odin, although i like ava x maggie quite a bit, too.

and then of course, lain x arisu. i’ve made like... many amvs with those two. i watched a trippy cyberpunk anime with themes of identity and mental illness, and the only thing i took away from it was lesbians. ;)

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

well, first, if there’s a ship you think would work, just ask me about it! then, if it’s a muse that’s tricky with trusting people, find a way past their barriers. :^)

TAGGED BY: i took it

TAGGING: @supraxstcllas @magicxecustos @sanmen and anyone else who wants to!

#sad sappy sucker [ooc]#dash games

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