#i can name 500 things wrong with it and i can talk for hours about each and every one of them

[thegreatyin]

@rainrein you should. the insane blonde man is really high quality (despite what the fandom would make you think)

[lady-forest-1142]

hiii I'm reposting my review of cordelia's honor here from my goodreads bc I need more ppl to share in my obsession dammit! (also if I've misspelled any names have pity on me, I read this on audio)

an instant favorite? an instant favorite that I read on audiobook?? in this economy??? unequivocally, yes. holy fuck. this had everything. large cast of compelling characters, fast-paced plot, romance, explorations of war and violence and power and motherhood and disability and morality, tight writing, dry humor - the works. I wish Barrayar had been six hours longer. I need to start the next book immediately. I don't know that I can do it justice in a review.

Shards of Honor: okay, after all that gushing this was only ("only") a 4.5. we've got a survival story, a galactic war, a psychological thriller, and a romance all combined, and the plot shifted tones and focuses just a little too much for me (plus I'll admit the space battle parts lost me a bit). we're following cordelia naismith, a research officer on assignment on a (unbeknownst to her) politically-advantageous planet. cordelia's base is ambushed by a mutineering band of barrayaran soldiers, the enemies of her people of beta colony, and she finds herself stranded on the planet with the notorious barrayaran admiral aral vorkosigan. the plot escalates in leaps and bounds from there - to outline anything more would be a spoiler. needless to say, cordelia and aral fall in love, against a backdrop of the aforementioned mutiny, a war, a scheming emperor on his deathbed, and a masochistic officer. cordelia is a soldier, a captain, a captive, a prisoner of war, a psychic patient, and a lady in the course of 336 pages. and I love her. she's an absolute badass, she's deeply compassionate, she isn't afraid to call anyone (particularly aral) on their shit, she's reckless. she waterboards someone in a fish tank. she utters possible the most metal romantic line I've ever heard ("when he's cut, I bleed"). I want to be her when I grow up. aral falls sickeningly in love with her - he literally admits that he first got a crush on her upon seeing her throwing up in a creek and proposes marriage to her after less than two weeks. he's also a (CANONICAL) disaster bisexual whose idea of therapy is getting drunk in hideous hawaiian shirts with sentimental value and he has a sadistic murdering ex-boyfriend. actually this is a great book to read as a bisexual. I want to be their third so bad.

Barrayar: yeah this is the book that sealed the brainrot for me. political intrigue, a fancy-dress ball, assassination attempts, high emotional stakes, cordelia being the only rational person in the room 80% of the time, the BEST side characters, all escalating to a civil war that, naturally, involves cordelia beheading people? sign me the fuck up. I'm not gonna talk about cordelia and aral again save that I love them even when aral is being a moron with a horrible father. he doesn't rly deserve cordelia and he knows it. ok. now. koudelka is my babygirl and can literally do no wrong, okay? even though he is a moron of the absolute highest order who needs to be slapped approximately every 50 pages (cordelia usually takes care of it). (actually all the men in this book are morons and the women are perfect. no wonder I like it!) hottest man to carry a walking stick / sword since jem carstairs. droushnakovi my QUEEN, idolizes cordelia (as she should) bc barrayaran society is stupid and misogynist and she's never seen a female soldier before, deserves every good thing in the world (first and foremost a briefing on feminism). bothari....I am clenching my fist in emotion. when we are talking of COMPLEX MORALLY GRAY MEN....look no further. when he calls himself cordelia's pet dog???? gnawing at the bars of my enclosure. he is FAR from perfect and I'd probably want to be at least 500 meters away from him irl but GOD does he get in my FEELINGS. plus also girl dad, so we have to cheer. ohhh my god and I haven't even gotten into the politics and social structure of barrayar and how it is so similar to our own and how cordelia is in the perfect position to critique it bc beta colony is suuuper different and way more advanced, and critique it she does. the conversations about motherhood and the expectation that mothers carry their children to term biologically even when technology exists elsewhere in the galaxy to literally replace and replicate a uterus? actually every single discussion about motherhood and social expectations on barrayar vs beta colony. frighteningly prescient for a book published in 1991!! ALSO the conversations on disability and the validity of disabled life that I am sure will only continue?? (count piotr can go kick rocks btw). can you tell this is my favorite book of the year yet?? jesus christ. I need the next one immediately.

[filth-burps-writing]

Dating as a secret man

Lily got home from their date. An ever immaculate queen always in heavy makeup and heels. Their newest boyfriend Evan was an absolute gentleman. As they closed their bedroom door and his car left the driveway they thought about their magical night. But amongst the feelings of being in love and pampered were feelings of shame, disgust, fatigue and fear. Because Lily wasn’t real. The guy who pretended to be them, was starting become frustrated.

The first thing Will did was fart. Evan fed him like a prize pig and his dress was incredibly tight. He pulled off said dress and pointed up his head as he replaced the lacy bra with a binder. Wills sweatiest hoodie and shorts combo was calling his name. Three things always helped him take his mind off things; getting drunk, getting high and playing video games. He popped a gummy and cracked open a beer as he logged in. Apparently they adding a new player to the team named Ev07. The team was mostly queer people so he hoped that this wasn’t just another meathead who looked at their stats. As he settled into his stained gaming chair Will belched repeatedly.

The team all warmly greeted each other and talked strategy until Ev07 logged on. He had a pretty average avatar with no visible mods and his stats weren’t great. As he introduced himself to the team he let out a loud belch making the whole team laugh. “ Hey maybe you should have a burping contest with Will later that was almost as gnarly as one of his” “Hey Will dude, if you can even match my burping volume I buy you a health pack ok”. Will felt his competitive side bubble up but he also got Deja vu. Where had he heard that voice before?

Evan woke up in a cold sweat. It was admittedly a little stressful dating a woman while having a crush on a guy. He’d been playing on the team for two months and playing solo with WhereTheresAWill for six weeks. He sat through stiff dinners with Lily, who was classy and beautiful then sped home to run through game scenarios and have burping contests with Will who … wasn’t. The day Will sent a blurry pic in a hoodie and shorts was his best in a while. He looked at his phone and saw his notifications.

Gamehub WhereTheresAWill sent you 500 credits!

Daterz Evan your so sweet

Daterz It’s Lily! Let’s talk on chatline

Chatline Lily sent you a video request

Chatline Lily sent you a message

Chatline Lily sent you a message

He felt guilty but he was a gentleman and knew the right thing to do. He put on a clean t-shirt and sat up in bed then accepted Lily’s video request.

“Hi Lily sorry I look a bit scruffy I was sleeping. Why are you up it’s the middle of the night?”

“ I was at work and I got kept late to keep a guy company on his birthday.”

Lily was a home health aid and super passionate about her work.

“ Anyway I know you usually wake up at this time with your night stuff and I’m gonna be sleeping all day so I figured we could talk now instead of going on that date.”

“Aww that’s kinda sweet. I didn’t make a reservation this time so it should be alright.”

“You know me. Anyway.”

They engaged in stiff formal chatting for hours. Evan had just never clicked with Lily but he didn’t break up with her because it kinda felt … wrong. She was conventionally attractive, sweet, kind even fun sometimes. But he never really felt anything for her. The whole time he was thinking about Will and the 500 credits. Will and his easy laughter filling the audio chat. Will who got him to upgrade his avatar. Will and how gross habits mysteriously stirred him in the crotch. But he was straight and being attracted to burping was just too weird.

Later that day he was talking to Will of all people while practicing his triple shots.

“Hey Evan you all there?”

“ Can I ask you for some dating advice?”

“Dude I’m a massive *burp* nerd. The only hookups I get are at comic con.”

“Will no. I don’t have the patience for your self deprecation today.”

“Alright try me.”

“I’m dating this girl but I don’t … like her. She’s everything I want in a girl but I feel nothing when we’re around each other. What should I do.”

“ Wait is this the girl you bought a Persephone necklace for?”

“ I like spoiling women. Even if I don’t nessesarily have super strong feelings for them.”

“ You gotta cut her off before she gets the wrong idea. She might think that your generosity means you wanna go long term. She might be expecting commitment while you’re stringing her along.”

“Woah that’s really wise. Thanks bro. Why did you send me 500 credits?”

“I was returning the credits you sent me I’m not one of your girlfriends.”

“That was for your birthday!”

“And?”

“You’re a dick.”

“Aww are you not gonna come to my sleepover party.”

“ No i’m having one at your dad’s.”

They continued like that all day. With Will it was easy. They joked around constantly and went with each other’s bits.

Will breathed a huge sigh of relief. Keeping his cover as a lady was difficult. His pink collar job was doing a lot of heavy lifting. But resisting the urge to belch after the meals Evan gave him or sass him on a date the way he did in chat was get harder and harder. It seemed like Evan was purposely testing him. He knew it wasn’t true because of the Persephone necklace glittering in the tub of femme items he kept in the bottom of his closet. Fuck he was generous. And handsome. even his new avatar in the game was hot. Will thought about what it would be like if he could date Evan as himself, as Will. He thought about trips to the arcade, cuddling together in his unmade bed, Evan kissing him…

Now Will was even crustier than usual. He’d been masturbating for hours just thinking up scenarios about Evan. He got up to look at himself. He had been wearing the same black hoodie and shorts without washing them for a month. His hair was an ocean of grease with messily dyed waves cascading across his forehead. His now fat belly stuck out the bottom of his hoodie after weeks of Evan’s clueless ministrations. The weight gain kinda made him look… manlier. He reached up and uncovered his belly. He squished the hair covered flesh between his fingers. It certainly added something to his appearance. He farted and felt himself squirming. He was attracted to himself! He stared into mirror enraptured. This was the first time he’d actually felt sexy. Suddenly he heard a familiar voice yell out “babe I let myself in we need to talk I’m coming upstairs”. He didn’t have time to change. He was gonna have to tell him.

They stared at each other. And stared at each other. Then Will broke the silence. “ *sigh* look I’m a trans dude it’s super hard to date, plus I don’t exactly look traditionally sexy as myself. So I go on dates as my old self, as Lily. I lied to you and you can get as mad you want just don’t leave the team. We really need your averages for the competition next week.” Evan was just sat there with a furrowed brow. “ If it helps I do have feelings for you. You’re a genuinely sweet person and very handsome.” Evan looked at Will like he was trying to assess him. “ I’m sorry I lied.” Evan stood up and looked at his face. Will thought for a second he was about to get punched. But then Evan kissed him. He leaned into the kiss. Evan pushed him against the bed. “ oh fuck Will! I had a crush on you for months while I was dating … you. I was so scared but now” Evan let out a huge belch in Will’s face “ I don’t have to worry about it”. He pressed a kiss on Wills forehead. Will grinned and burped himself which turned to the boys pressing burps against each other’s necks.

[hayatoseyepatch]

hello sam pam (happy 500!!!)

want the full experience so i am on anon ( why was it was so hard to describe myself)

personality: she/her, intp, stem major. likes: spring, the beach, green apples, bears, cats, woody&earthy scents, short nails, indie games, peppermint tea, silver, watches, blue tights (that i recently got), smiskis, pineapple pizza. dislikes: the rain, food that's too hot, cherry flavored things, calling, wearing socks to sleep, card games. pet peeves: slow drivers, people who eat with their mouths open, talking during a movie, people who cut in line

fandoms: ive read/know all of the fandoms u listed except love&deepspace

tropes: so many but i will list fake dating and drunk confessions

type: someone easy-going and can take things slow

icks: people who cant hold a convo

idk what else...i will await ur verdict judge sam 🫡

Hi there undercover mootie ( ˶˘ ³˘(ˊᗜˋ)!♡ I hinestly saw your trope and ran with it, I had so much fun. I hope you enjoy! MWAH

I'm gonna pair you with Jo Togame from Wind Breaker!

⤜♡→ Jo Togame is more caring than I feel people give him credit for, we see it through his interactions with Sakura and Choji. He hangs onto your every word loving to talk to you about your interests. He loves just talking to you. He too hates someone who he cant just talk to. So the both of you could spend the longest time just talking, its ow he fell for you in the first place, getting to know you through your words and quality time.

⤜♡→ If you’re looking for easy going look no further than Togame. He is perfectly content to just enjoy your company. He doesn’t need much or have to have anything extravagant so long as he has you by his side that’s all he truly wants. Whether its just taking a stroll along the beach or sitting at home contentedly watching you play one of your indie games. He’s happy as long as he’s with you.

⤜♡→ I’m so glad you brought up earthy/woodsy scents because that’s exactly how I think Togame smells. Just this comforting scent of the outdoors not too powerful or overpowering, just a nice amount that you can smell as he holds you in his arms.

You blink the sleep from your eyes at the sound of your phone ringing, checking the clock you see it reads close to 01:30 am. Who could possibly be calling at this hour? Checking the contact you see that it was Jo. It was unusual for him to call you at this late hour, thinking something was wrong you scramble to answer it. “Jo is everything okay?” It’s silent on the other line, only for a moment before you hear his voice on the other end. His voice comes out slurred, obvious he had been drinking. “Babesss” He drawls, Togame always had a habit of calling you countless pet names. “Why aren’t you here, where are you?” You could hear the pout in his voice. Togame, the usual calm and collected one of the bunch tended to get a lot more loose when he drank, it was always amusing how especially clingy he became when it came to you. “Jo its almost 1:30 in the morning I’m in bed.” You can hear his whine, trying your best to stifle your laughter. “Well get out of bed, I miss you, come here. I wanna kiss your face.” That was new. You felt your face grow warm with the intentions behind his words.

As you were taking a moment to recover from his words, there’s a significant amount of fumbling on the other line. Sako’s voice rings through, definitely more sober. “I’m sorry about that we’ve been trying to keep him from waking you up.” You hear a lot of movement on the other line, no doubt Sako avoiding Togame’s confiscation of his phone, hearing his voice once more. “Sako, you ass give me the phone, I wanna talk to her.” To which Sako just lets out a burdened sigh. You giggle, shaking your head as you pull yourself out of bed. “It’s fine Sako, let me come take him off your hands, you guys are at the auditorium right?” After he confirms, you quickly grab your letterman, heading out the door to come pick him up. Once you arrive, you can see him perk up immediately, rushing over to you instantly. He wraps himself around you, placing a good bit of his weight on you as hangs off you, the impact knocking some of the wind out of you due to his large stature.

He smiles, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. “I missed you.” He mumbles, works slurred into your skin. You had a feeling it would take quite a bot to pry him off of you and he would be deeply regretting his actions in the morning with the hangover he no doubt would be having. After some minor convincing you managed to get him to leave with you. Taking him back to your apartment, you gave him some water and painkillers to try and prevent his head from splitting when he awoke. As you went to go set up the couch for yourself for the night, you feel his grip on your wrist, he tugged you into the bed with him. His body curling around your own. “Don’t leave me.” His words were so pleading, he was hanging on to consciousness as it was, so you decided to stay. He smiles as he rested his head on your chest. “I love you, I hope you know that. Wanna be with you for the rest of my life.” His words trail off and within moments his breathing evens out before soft snores fill the room. You lay there in shock from his words, but knowing even in this state that he meant them. You just hoped he wouldn’t be too embarrassed when you returned his confession in the morning.

[banananutsmuthie]

I seldom talk but let's all be real here. What do pedo writers and 18+ writers have in common? The answer: They both write SMUT. They just have different targets, that's it.

In the end, what you smut writers do is SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND LIBEL. You're just using handles/nicknames here to escape CRIMINAL LIABILITY from the idols you write smut about. There's no such thing as 'righteousness' in those things, so to speak.

Welcome back, reader. I say "back" because some random person unaware of this community wouldn't just happen to stumble on Peach's blog and find the one post calling out UA writers (in an untagged post, no less). A random person unaware of this community doesn't then proceed to find one of the least active 18+ writers (19+ if you consider my personal rules), one who hasn't posted/reblogged anything in the last 10 days and hasn't written a fic in the last 5 months. A random person unaware of this community doesn't then just send an ask to said writer chiding them about being self-righteous while calling us the same kind of bad as UA writers, despite the fact I've not mentioned anything about being righteous or openly called out UA writers (but don't get confused, I am strongly against them).

So welcome back, reader.

Here's the thing: your opinion isn't wrong and your concerns are valid. You are more than welcome to freely think what you want and call me out on it. That's the beauty of free speech we're lucky to have. There are other people in the world who aren't as lucky, and my hope is that you're as passionate about this as you are with real world issues. Right now, people are starving. There's genocide. Slavery. Human trafficking and sexual exploitation are still a thing. All of these issues are worth getting angry about.

Based on this ask you sent sins, I see fighting child sexual exploitation is an issue you care about. So, I am donating $100 USD to a non profit called Coalition Against Trafficking in Women, an international organisation working hard to end the trafficking and sexual exploitation of women and girls.

So that brings me to a proposition I have for you: we can sit here while I listen to your grievances about this community or we can work together and actually make a difference in the world. Pick a charity. Any charity fighting any issue you care about. Any donation you make to that cause, I will gladly match up to $500 USD. My only stipulation is you send a screenshot of the receipt and send it over in an ask— not as anon, not with some burner account made 3 hours ago, but with your actual account. You talk about hiding behind handles and nicknames; my real first name has been in my pinned post since I started. I think it's only fair we get to know who you are.

The offer is valid for the next 72 hours. Any further asks sent anonymously will be ignored. Any attempt at defending p-dophelia will earn a block. This will be the first and only time I will be addressing this. I strongly urge you to think about this: that's $1,100 total in donations we can contribute. I look forward to your response.

CJ

[pomefioredove]

First of all congrats on 500!! I only recently followed but I can already see how much you deserve it, I definitely will request you again if i have a good idea and the box isn't full! Anyways here's some details for the match-up thing!

(´.•﹏•`)

-I use she/her and if you want a name you can use Eden

- I'd like to call myself smart (doing a degree atm as i'm working to be a geneticist ^^)

-I'm also quite into musical theatre but i don't sing i just like watching them and listening to the music

-On the topic of music I listen to quite literally everything from MCR to taylor swift

-I also try to be nice but i can be pretty judgemental and mean in my head but try to never say anything about that

- With a partner i'd definitely try to go on cute dates like picnics if the weather is nice or coffee shops. Would definitely do museum dates if they could keep up with my info-dumping..

SORRY FOR BAD GRAMMAR I JUST WOKE UP!! Thank you again!

I match you with 𝐊𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐥-𝐀𝐬𝐢𝐦

The First Impression:

Kalim gets along with everyone (well... he thinks he gets along with everyone), so first impressions aren't that important to him. If you get off on the wrong foot, you can always try again, right?

Not that it matters for you two! The connection is almost instantaneous, and soon after meeting him, you receive an invitation to a Scarabia dinner at your door.

Why He Fell:

Kalim is blown away by how smart you are, and will never let you forget it. He could listen to you talking for hours without getting bored (if you don't mind him excitedly interrupting every now and then, that is) and is genuinely fascinated by everything you have to say. The epitome of "you're so smart, wanna hang out?"

Though, it's really your passion for music that brings you closer together. Exchanging favorite songs, making playlists for each other, and recommending artists becomes a weekly ritual between the two of you.

The Relationship:

Kalim is pretty much down for anything. Picnics, cafes, museums, whatever! As long as it's with you, he's happy.

His listening and empathy skills certainly improve throughout the course of knowing you, though even in the beginning he's there to hear you out on all of your thoughts, positive or not.

You add a whole new perspective to the world for him, and he's there for whatever you need.

[adrianastrix]

Since I'm in a Writing Mood(TM) today, here comes a small piece of advice from a seasoned internet/writer person (I'm doing this for *checks notes* almost 25 years by now holy freaking cow), take it as you please:

If you want to be a writer, even a hobbist one, Do. Not. Settle. For. Mediocrity. In. Reading.

I'm not talking about only reading pretentious Classics(double-TM-somehow). I'm talking about reading books beyond what is on top charts or fandom talks.

Don't get me wrong: fandoms are great and those books can be well written and unexpectedly artistic and stylized. And even if they aren't, they are great sources of inspiration for your subject matter, so go ahead!

BUT. It's still good to do your writing homework, just like it's generally a good idea for an artist to study a bit of anatomy, a bit of perspective drawing and a little bit of colour theory to hone their craft, even when they only draw cartoons.

And WHAT is the writing homework, you ask?

Things that push the envelope artistically and break for any expected rule. Books that are NOTHING but exposition, but manage to still be good (or, at least, to be praised as a Classic(TM)). Books with no plot, just characters being characters. Books in which the main character is a inanimate object. Books that use invented words every sentence or more. Books that have a single period in a whole page. Books that are a single 100-page poem telling a story that would fill a whole paragraph in prose.

But not ANY book that does those things. Classics(TM). Books that school tells you to read because they ARE homework, they are MEANT to be studied for their techniques, not just read for leisure (unless you happen to enjoy its thing). I ASSURE you that if you read those books in a spirit of "let's see how this Great Author(TM) handles this thing" instead of "let's have fun for a couple hours", you will be more pleasantly surprised than not. Many of the classics I read weren't things I enjoyed, but I blazed through them because the writing was THAT good.

It's hard for me to recommend English classics for writers because I'm a Brazilian born and raised, and our Classics are different, and most of them are character-based fiction with little to no regard to exposition of the environment or plot. Most of our literary icons have never been actually described in their books, and if they have, it was just by a few passing details scattered through the whole thing. For instance, we only know Capitu's appearance a bit because Bentinho is a creep (whoever knows what I'm referencing KNOWS).

Our biggest Brazilian fiction name is Machado de Assis. Lots of people (understandably) hate reading him in high school because language teachers rarely teach us to read and comment a book for study rather than enjoyment (or, if they do, we are rarely interested because we don't usually see what we can learn from it and how to use it in our own writing). But BOY, Machado is a World Classic(double-TM). Not because he writes in a complex, classy way or anything.

It's because he is HILARIOUS. And often in meta ways that will DESTROY you, like the chapter he left blank so you could recover for the one before. And his irony is a finely sharpened sabre, it cuts so deeply that it tickles your liver. Chef's kiss. Sure, he uses 19th century slang, so it feels old-timey and, at times, hard to understand without a dictionary nearby, but ANY effort you take to understand him is paid in TRIPLE OR MORE.

Couldn't recommend more. Look for his books in English, they are worth it, and I've heard that the latest translations are good.

My other venerated prose Classic Author is, sadly, basically untranslatable to English without serious effort: Guimarães Rosa. I SWEAR TO GOD that I read a 500-or-so pages book from him in little more than a sitting. And I barely understood what I read in an intellectual manner, but by the end, I nebulously KNEW what had happened without remembering, like someone trying to remember a dream they just had.

It was one of the best literary experiences I had, but I fear it will never be the same again.

But say that you don't want to spend hours on weird experimental novels absorbing their techniques and convention-breaking (sometimes convention-SETTING for being so good) powerful imagery. Then, at the very least, take this second piece of advice:

Read poetry.

Not any poetry. Artsy-fartsy, teacher-brought-to-class poetry. Don't stop to the couple of poems of that author you were forced to read. Comb through their library for themes you might enjoy. Poets are usually notorious for how horny and/or existentially terrifying their poems are, so TAKE NOTES.

Poetry is playing with words transcending the narrative mold. In poetry, words don't have to tell stories, words don't have to adhere to traditional meanings and spellings or even pronunciations. Words don't even have to have any of those things, they can become drawings in a piece of art that reminds us all that writing is a very specialized form of drawing.

Rhyming poetry, in particular, often leads poets to pair ideas that would never be paired together just because they want a rhyme that doesn't sound stale. Or because they have to fit an idea in a set amount of syllabes with the tonic in this fixed position, so they have to get CLEVER about how to word a sentence.

Picking a classic poetry mold that you are unfamilliar with and trying to write even a small poem in it is a writing exercise that might improve your writing more than 50.000 words of vanilla prose (believe me, I was the crazy one that decide to write Alex and Rose's chapter titles in Alexandrine verses because of the pun - and God Gracious in Heaven, it took me longer to write the 10-verse poem than it took me to write half the book).

To wrap it up: read authors doing crazy stuff. You will see that most of the "boring stuff in traditional books" is boring because the larger your intended audience, the less daring your publisher allows you to be. You don't need to reinvent the wheel: the world is chock full of crazy writers writing crazy experimental stuff just RIPE to be used in your fanfiction for maximum gut-wrenching or knee-slapping. New ways of describing things (or not caring a flying rat about describing anything), new ways of writing dialogues, new words, new ways of creating words, weird paragraphs, blank chapters and sentences so beautiful and poignant that you will forget everything else about the book and still be haunted by those words (mine are some of the closing sentences of Kafka's The Metamorphosis *shivers* - or the arc words "he died in the wrong lane, messing up traffic" in the song Construção - a brilliant piece of tragic narrative poetry, elevated by being turned into a cheerful samba-like song).

If anything, it will improve your writing, keep you from always copying an author who copies an author who copies classics. And you might find a WORLD of fiction that is more challenging and/or will tickle your artistic appreciation in different ways that canned books with the same old tricks, the same old silent pleas of "please adapt me into a film/netflix script/RPG manual/visual novel/comic/fanart/any other visual media, since I didn't have the money to comission it to begin with!" that excess visual descriptions often exsude.

Good luck in making your readers feel what is like when a cookie crumble in your mouth not like it should, but like a great glacier cracking, releasing a waterfall of filling that gives that bite a flavour of coarse cement and butterflies. Make them feel their stomachs sucking themselves in, as if they were sealed vacuum bags, in antecipation of swallowing that... stuff. Let them know that the feeling of coarse cement and live butterflies WILL transcend the flavour once the swallowing begins. I didn't say the butterflies were live? My bad!

I think a big part of why I read way more fanfiction than books is that there’s just a hell of a lot less exposition

the first 10 pages of most books are always “these are the main characters and here’s some background on each of them and this is the setting etc etc” and it’s such a fucking hassle getting to the plot sometimes

fanfic is just like “fuck it you know all of this already let’s go”

[saving-word-crawls]

A Storm of Words crawl (Game of Thrones)

By: Rob_Pine

This is A Storm of Words , the crawl for A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones ! Finally, the two are combined into one consistent narrative. Canonically. Absolutely. This crawl is divided roughly into seasons of the TV show.

There will, of course, be spoilers from all books and seasons.

If there’s demand for it, I’ll post more of these, based on the rest of the story. Subsequent parts of the crawl, when posted, will be linked in a reply comment to this post. Please don’t directly reply to the subcomment as it will prevent me from editing it

Your result from the first challenge will tell you which character you are. Only do the challenges associated with your character, unless you’re really bored!

Some challenges require dice; I recommend random.org 3 as a slightly less satisfying substitute.

Some challenges can be ‘failed’; failing a challenge provides you with a prompt that you must write into your next scene .

Prologue. You are on a ranging with the Night’s Watch, sent out to track nearby wildlings… but something has gone very wrong. Write for ten minutes while you hide in a tree, watching your comrades die.

If you wrote less than 200 words , you are a moody Northern bastard known as Jon Snow.

If you wrote between 201 and 400 words, you are a refugee princess called Daenerys Targaryen.

If you wrote more than 401 words , you are maligned highborn dwarf Tyrion Lannister.

Jon Snow

Your noble family is hosting the king’s entourage at dinner, but because you’re a bastard you’re not allowed to sit with them. Write 200 words in ten minutes to get the rage out of your system.

If Jon fails: the next scene you write should contain a dog, or characters talking about dogs.

You’ve made it to the Wall, but apparently you’re not allowed any adventure yet. “A man gets what he earns”; well, show your worth by making it to the next round thousand-word mark .

You’re named a steward, to your disappointment, but it does mean you’ll be working closely with the Old Bear himself. Show him you’re not afraid of hard work – roll a 6-sided die . Write at your own pace for five times as many minutes.

Jeor Mormont has brought you terrible news: your father has been executed as a traitor. You try to escape, but you barely make it to 500 words in half an hour before your comrades drag you back to Castle Black.

If Jon fails: the next scene you write should include a betrayal, or a reference to betrayal.

Daenerys Targaryen

You’re unlucky enough to be a thirteen-year-old girl whose creepy brother considers her a commodity to be traded for a crown. Do the Three Digit Challenge as you attempt to ignore his weird, weird comments.

Life’s not been kind to you so far, but you’re settling well into Dothraki culture and, even though you’re a woman, you’re commanding a lot more respect than your brother ever could. You’re even becoming fluent in the language: write 200 words in five minutes to show your command of the Dothraki tongue.

If Dany fails : the next scene you write should include a reference to a foreign language.

Your brother drunkenly threatens you and your unborn child, which is a problem for your husband. Write 1000 words in half an hour as you try to deal with what you just saw.

If Dany fails : kill a character, however minor, off in your next scene.

Things were looking up, but now you’ve suffered a miscarriage and had to perform a coup de grace on your sun-and-stars. However, only death can pay for life… write 100 words for each day in November so far.

Tyrion Lannister

You’re on a visit to the Wall, for largely urinary purposes. Your companion asks why you’re reading on the journey; perhaps a fifty-headed hydra will show them the benefit of a sharp mind. Attempt to write five hundred words in five minutes without ANY corrections or backspaces. Typos mandatory.

If Tyrion fails: the next scene you write should include books or reading.

Anticipating a nice rest, you’re instead accosted by a woman you’ve barely met and accused of trying to kill her son. It’s a long way to… wait, this isn’t the way to Winterfell! Talk your way out of execution by writing 2000 words in an hour.

If Tyrion fails: the next scene you write should include imprisonment or captivity, or a reference to these.

You’re finally allowed to leave the Vale, but you have to take the highroad. You’re ambushed by mountain clans, but perhaps you can win them over by writing until your word count is a palindrome (e.g. 31313, 5555, 929).

You join your father on the battlefield, bringing your army of clansmen with you. He agrees to reward them for saving you, but only on the condition that you write 1000 words in fifteen minutes! … oh, and lead the vanguard into a losing battle.

If Tyrion fails: the next scene you write should include an allusion to a family reunion.

[yoongissweetdream]

500 Followers + 500 Words: S. Coups

-> Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Ex-GF!Reader

-> Requested by: Anon

-> Prompt: 38 - Y/N has no one else to call, she calls her ex-boyfriend who still has her back no matter what.

-> Warnings: talks of a clean break up. mentions a sick parent. There's no hate between Coups and Reader. Right person, wrong time vibes.

-> Word Count: 502

-> Request: Closed.

500 followers Event M.List | Seungcheol Masterlist | SEVENTEEN Masterlist

© yoongisssweetdream - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead. 

Y/N couldn’t believe it. She felt so embarrassed as she sits in the passenger’s seat of her ex-boyfriend's car.  

An hour ago, the guy she's been seeing for the last month left her stranded on the side of the road. This came after he told her that he come to the realisation that he doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship just yet. That he wanted to keep things casual and open to seeing other people all because he met another woman couldn’t decide right now who he wanted to be with. Instead of letting her anger get the better of her, she ended things, telling him that’s not what she wanted. After his failed attempts at trying to convince her to change her mind, he kicked her out of his car, leaving her standing in the rain. 

As she stood there, drenched and shivering, Y/N scrolled through her phone for someone to call but quickly realized she had no-one. She didn’t have enough money for an uber, her best friend was away on her honeymoon, her mum was taking care of her sick dad, her brother’s away for military training and she didn’t have any co-workers willing to drive the distance to pick her up this late at night. A majority of them had children to take care of.  

When she landed on her ex’s name, she debated whether she should call him or not. They were still sort of friendly. Their relationship didn’t end badly. They both became busy with their jobs and finding time for each other became difficult, so they just kind of drifted apart.  

After a good five minutes, she called him and he didn’t hesitate to come and pick her up.  

“Thank you for coming all this way to get me,” she thanks him, breaking the silence that had fallen over them, after he started the drive back to her apartment. “And on your birthday of all days. I’m sorry if I interrupted any plans you had.”  

"Don't worry about," he assures her that it's okay. "When Seungkwan, Mingyu and Hoshi found out it was you calling, they insisted I come and get you and bring you back. I told them you might not want to." 

"I want to," she tells him, wanting to celebrate his birthday with him and his chosen brothers. A part of her also wanted to see them all again. Feeling a little guilty for not having kept in contact with any of them since her and Seungcheol’s break up, she missed them like crazy.  

"Are you sure?" he asks, "You've had a rough night. It's okay if you don't want to come and socialise with all of us." 

"I'm sure, Seungcheol," she assures him. Even though they’ve been broken up for a while now, she still cares about him. "It's your birthday. I would love to be there to celebrate it with you." 

Seungcheol, smiles and changes from driving to her apartment to where his birthday celebration was being held.  

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[the-firebird69]

The Best Motorcycle Riding Gear On The Market!! #shorts #motorcycle

He ran into the block wall and wanted to go back in time and he's just a kissing loser so we're going to rip them apart again and he's doing this idiotic theatrical s*** all day to our son and gets killed in is Trump getting killed of course and he's an argumentative little prick but this is the motorcycle and we don't want to talk about this useless twat next door you want to talk about this bike because we were talking about the single cylinder of Harley-Davidson x 440 and they made that in India and they make a 500 in the United States and it goes pretty good but it has a twin engine a son suggested it because he's single cylinder that he drove sounded like weird like a Japanese bike and people said that too good it's a good idea but we won't be able to start our idea with a 883 V-Twin or a V-Twin 737 because it won't be allowed and they're going to fight over Harley-Davidson and we'll start off the 883 again maybe about 225 lb off of the 450 lb motor solely weighs 225 lb with the transmission and the whole bike will be less weight it'll go from about 8:90 because they have like a 1,200 in it two about 450 with an 883 that's going to be very fast bike and 450 doesn't weigh much. We're going to go ahead with this and we're going to try and get the striker out there Saturday and Salazar and got his wife for now proceeding and they sent over 3D rendering and earlier today he's trying to print one and he did and he's got in the office it's pretty big it's like 3 ft long and it's just a mock-up they said I can print it real fast if I don't make it too big and he had one that's lowered now it's not lower because what our son and daughter said was if you lower it first it won't be able to fit but then it'll look too much like a mega car or a hyper car and we'll get too much attention and it won't sell as a kit that easy they put actual race cars out there that didn't sell because they look too racy and it's true it takes a little bit out of it and it looks really nice it looks awesome and if we can't get it out there we might be able to we'll get it somewhere else but we can put the mock up we have to build another one here and we can put that online if someone did it really is nice and that's not the car it looks really cool that car that's cool a lot of people are going to look it up it's not the same kind of car. This is going to rock I've never seen anything quite like this this car and the concept it is going to really fly and we think it comes out Saturday somehow and people start copying it and they try and find out which one's the real one and usually these dicks don't do it right and they ignore some suggestions enjoy their own stuff and the emblem is not going to be right and won't say striker with the car they'll put their own thing and they'll stay there then and it's kind of lame that's what they do

Thor Freya

Olympus

We're going to go ahead with it and I hear the song and they say we want to be ourselves and do things but nobody wants to see it usually it's cute with rounded edges. So he says Sarah is a leader and there's nothing wrong with having your own car like the dagger and you should revamp the whole thing in other words the lights and other stuff for hours and the front end so she's thinking about it and you make your own dagger company again with your brother husband. And they're thinking about it and she wants to make it rounded so he says make a round car. But he said something quite unique to me he said that this car is very nice and I'll be there Saturday and it's going to cost the song to be made for some reason and you're talking about so the engine too so I think people show up with knh engines and in different motorcycles it's the mini Harley that's what they're going to call in and he did name it that and you can't really name it Harley because that would be a Harley. And he's looking for a name like three times you're out they start off as natives they become clowns and at the end they become some sort of trooper or soldier. And it's not really sure what to call it but trooper becomes very famous

Hera Zues

Is what we say trooper is like from a heavy metal band and it's the name of a character that looks like George and they're thinking about Mars and him leaving and it goes away from the clown bike but it's still really is one but just like troops instead of clowns and that's what they're supposed to become and that's what a reminder is and they need that real bad and they change it and it does work

Thor Freya

I don't like the verbage but he's saying it about gas cuz he really is you Garth knows code and these guys do and they just don't tell anyone

Gu Oya

Olympus

[bike42]

Monday September 18, 2023

Nice morning - yoga and breakfast and we were in the library at 8:30am to pick up our lunch boxes, whatever snacks we wanted for the day, and to have our daily briefing.

Jenn described that there are 282 Munro’s (mountains over 3000 feet) in Scotland and it’s sport to “bag” them all! We’ll walk on the foothills of a few of them, but not to the top. Some people vie for bagging them in record time in a self propelled manner - cycling or paddling to reach them!

The leaders decided not to offer the 11 mile hike today due to the rain last night. They’re concerned about slippery conditions. All 17 of us opted for the eight-mile, 1000 ft gain (most of it in the beginning) option. They enlisted the Local Taxi Driver, Donald McDonald (supposedly they’re two of them in town) to help with the shuttle today.

It was a quick 15 minute drive to the trailhead. Keith had said we might meet a Stag named “Collin” at the car park, and he was there to greet us and ask for a handout. I was kind of shocked when Keith fed him a banana. Seems wrong to encourage what should be a wild animal in that manner! Jenn said the locals look after him year around and a vet even comes by to check on him. Still seemed wrong.

We climbed a bit, then as we overlooked and old homestead, Keith gave us a chat on “Highland Clearances.” Ruins like the one we were viewing, are known in Scotland as “scars on the land”. After Industrial Revolution, the land was “cleared” of original landowners - many were offered one-way tickets to US / Australia / Patagonia. If they didn’t leave, the “sheriff” tore off the roof and burned the house. The land was developed into large hunting lodges and sheep grazing. Scotland’s system of land ownership is said to be one of the world’s most inequitable: 83 percent of the land is privately owned, and about half of it is owned by just 500 families - many not from Scotland originally, or living outside of Scotland.

People in this area had a great cultural hub - exported whisky. Many sheep herders from this area did go to Patagonia, and came back. The old traditions are being reestablished, which is refreshing.

Right to Roam - runs deep with Scottish people! Before “The Clearances,” many Scottish families earned their livelihood as “sustenance farmers” on public lands. Now land ownership is concentrated in a few hands, but all are free to enter and landowners must maintain the trails.

Keith grabbed a handful of Spagham Moss. He squeezed it to show us how it retains water. Dried out, it can be used as a wound dressing. Compacted, it becomes a peat bog. Keith’s grandma told him be careful of the Bog man (precursor of the boogie man). Bogs can be used to pickle and preserve things (bog butter).

This area would have had trees in the medieval days - lumber used for building and fires. Landowners now keep it open as a heather meadow for hunting purposes.

Jenn talked a lot, or rather, wondered out loud, about the creation of this landscape - water and glaciers, sedimentary rock and sandstone. It’s clear to see the glacier involvement, but were there also volcanoes and/or earthquakes? Such lovely, yet different rock and scenery. And the power of water - so much water coming out of the mountains and making its way to the sea!

A first for us while hiking, we took a break about an hour into the hike and Keith pulled out a bottle of Whisky and small paper cups. I skipped the cup and had him add a dram to my tea flask - hit the spot. As our break time was ended, it started to rain so I put my rain pants on. Since it had also gotten a little chilly, I added my puffy jacket under my rain jacket thinking I’d take it off in a bit … I didn’t!

The group started splintering, Kelli had a busted boot and Keith tried to tape it up for her, but it slowed them down. We got behind 4 others and the ladies seemed to be having a tough time with the terrain and were taking it slow. We all stepped aside to let some crazy mountain bikers through, and Jeff and I took the opportunity to pass them and work on catching up with the others (the 4 from WI and the 3 ladies). We caught them, but then had a stop in the rain so Jeff and I decided to sit and eat some lunch. Jules was there too, having hiked up from the end.

We continued our hike, odd being all alone now, but we enjoyed the solitude and the trail was obvious so we didn’t have concerns of being lost. The rain came and went, but we were warm inside our rain suits. The river grew larger and the number of waterfalls dumping into it increased in numbers and volume - very spectacular.

We reached the parking lot and found two Backroads vans (a third had driven away just as we reached the end of the trail). John and Rhydian (the newlyweds) were there, along with the coolers full of drinks. I grabbed a Gin and Tonic and climbed in the van as the rain increased and I wanted to finish my lunch! About 15 minutes later, Jules came back and picked up the 4 of us and delivered us back to the hotel.

We went up to our room. Jeff showered, then I took a long, not bath. I could barely stand afterwards - maybe it was too hot. I laid on the bed trying to cool off enough to get dressed with JT napped. We dressed, grabbed some umbrellas and walked to another bar/restaurant on property for a wine tasting session, followed by dinner.

The wine tasting was led by Shane, originally from France. He came to The Torridon six years ago for a six month gig, but fell in love with it here. He said what he likes best is the people are so nice! He added “you know how we are in France!” We tried three difference single malts - I liked all, but preferred the non-peaty varieties. Here are some other facts we learned:

Five Types of Scotch

Single Malt

Blended Malt Scotch Wiskey

Single Grain (corn etc added to Barley)

Blended grain

Blended scotch (Johnny Walker Red)

France is the top consumer of Scotch Whiskys

The Angels Share - check out the movie

We had a nice dinner sitting with John and Rhydian, learning more about them. Afterwards, we headed back to the main building and had a nightcap (Scottish version of Bailey’s on the rocks) and chatted more with Shane.

[nangbaby]

I'm a member of a model horse group on Facebook and I watched a pile on that was ended by blocking. I'm a mod and this behavior was appalling. Names are changed here to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Asker: someone who knows a decent amount about Breyers and is thinking of buying a very rare, very damaged model: Hey, guys, this model looks like he's covered in oil and some other gross things. The current bid on him is $500. Is he worth that and more if I liberate him? In the absolute worst case scenario, if he's been peed on by a cat, how do I clean him?

Asshole #1: Immediately accuses Asker of scamming and scaring people off/owning the model/not knowing anything

(the model in question looks absolutely gross AND this is a group for exactly that kind of question. I approved the post myself - Asker did nothing wrong)

Known Scammer: Joins in on asshole #1, starts brow beating Asker and joining Asshole #1 in being very rude

Asshole #2: Directly accuses Asker of trying to scam people by posting a picture from eBay

Asker: Proves they are the highest bidder, says they knew the price would rise (it doubled), but they don't know how to clean a damaged model.

Assholes #1&2, And known scammer: proceed to make Asker's life hell for the next two hours, while blatantly saying that Asker doesn't deserve a rare model because they are so stupid

Known Scammer: starts replying with porn gifs to everything Asker posts in the chat

Asshole 1&2: start replying with laugh emojis and tell Asker to soak the model in a mix of bleach, lysol, and ammonia

This only stopped when Asker blocked those three people. This only REALLY stopped when I threw those three people out of the group. Asker was absolutely being harassed. Those three weren't going to stop until they were physically prevented from harassing Asker.

My question is this: should Asker have submitted to their harassment, all over a very valid question? And should I have let those three run amok and ruin the group for everyone else?

Before I answer your question, I believe I should clarify something. When I talk about blocking is bad, it should be noted that I'm talking about places like Tumblr, Twitter, and other social media where one solicits an audience and solicits followers. I'm talking about open forums like Reddit, old-style forums, and to a certain extent Discord where the door is open. I'm not talking about invite-only private groups that require manual approval by moderators to join and view. I'm also not talking about things that involve monetary exchange, because scammers do change an environment from one that is merely unpleasant to one that is legitimately harmful.

That said, in answer to the question, the asker should have just cut and run. People tell me all the time I don't have to say anything and that complaining is whining, so why should an asker be immune to blowback?

As for the three miscreants, that depends. If it's a closed group that no one can see unless they are part of the group, kicking them out is a good idea because the space is personal. If it's an open group that people can easily join and see on Facebook, then, no you shouldn't have kicked them out. They aren't ruining the group. Their actions reflect on them. It's up to the other people of the group to argue against them.

[hetalia-club]

Russia won because multiple big named artists in this fandom was sharing the posts on Twitter and other sites. You even said sabotage was allowed? Why you mad?

pay attention please....you could easily find your answer if you scroll down just a little to read but you clearly can't do that so I will again repeat myself so there is no confusion.

I'm MAD because people were saying they would kill/harm themselves if certain characters didn't win leaving me in a bad position. also mad is not the word. Disappointed/annoyed is a better word I am not someone who gets 'mad'.

Also as I said when I said sabotage was allowed creating thousands of fake accounts was not what i had in mind. 1 or 2 sure but hundreds just defeats the purpose and destroys the fun of actually seeing who people like more. if it's just a few people battling it out on who can make the most accounts faster is dumb. Idk what you say it's just stupid. Maybe it would be Russia maybe it wouldn't we'll never know now because teh voting was thrown off by people making a ton of fake accounts

there was mass fake blog making on BOTH sides. Not just Russia OR Romano's side. just a few hours I watched it go from 51% Russia 52% Romano 52%russia and back to 51% Russia that is over 500 votes in like 3 hours. it is just not possible idk what you say. How the votes would be mass and sway so heavily one side at a time is just not possible. Sure a few votes here and there is possible but not hundreds and hundreds back and forth. As I said I had the annons admitting they rigged it i have admission from both sides from multiple annons.(I did clean out my inbox because there was a ton in there but they were there) Once I mentioned I was disappointed by the mass rigging the votes stopped completely. I know what I am talking about. you can think I'm stupid and disagree if you want but i know what I'm talking bout.

i don't give a fuck if Russia would have beaten Romano fairly. To think Romano would have taken the whole thing fairly on his own is a long shot. I said in the tags when I posted this round 'the king had a good run but i don't think he could pull this one off'. i said the only person i didn't want beating Romano was Spain but that is for a personal vendetta.

you can ask people I DM with in private messages I said "hey I would love Romano to win he has my vote but I really don't think he can do it realistically." I told people I DM NOT to make a bunch of accounts and to just let it be fair.

I still don't know what I am going to do about the results. I do wish people would think about ME. i am not just a faceless account I am a real person you are demanding answers from as if you know me at all or know what I've been dealing with in my ask box.

if you have been following this poll you would know that I did not disqualify Spain when 1 person was sending me dozens of hate mail every day for about 2 months.

maybe I'll change my mind when I get over it. like I said IDK what I'll do but sending me asks saying 'why you mad bro' is not helping me epically when I have stated like 15 times 'why I'm mad bro'

also don't fucking blame Ironic-Orange OR Grims for this they have no control what their followers do just like how I don't. They didn't tell everyone to go make hundreds of mass fake accounts and spend actual real life hours swaying votes. The didn't tell their followers to send me asks implying they would hurt themselves if the polls did not go the way they wanted. They did NOTHING WRONG. I don't want another person in my asks or tags saying other wise I have already deleted several. I'm not upset with them at all I blame them for nothing! That would be dumb. All they did was promote and say they would draw art if they won. Which GREAT! i love that! Now you get your art! everyone wins. Everyone should be happy. Idk why you aren't unless you were one of the ones spamming new accounts and you feel invalidated. Which you shouldn't because you won! congrats!

[shardofhope-fanfic]

A celebration of life for a very special rat.

Juice Box, May 2021 to April 5th, 2023

I knew that neither of them would be around very long. I was told time and time again that they only lived 2 years or so, 3 if you were lucky and 4 if you had an immortal on your hands. I thought I would have been ready for it, when the time came. I had seen people and pets pass before. I was wrong.

I'm not going to talk about his sudden failing weight. I'm not going to talk about him shrinking compared to his brother. I'm not going to talk about the medications and special diet I used to try and ween him back to health. I'm not going to talk about the half a dozen vet visits I took him to in two months, trying to buy him comfort and health for as long as I could. And I'm not going to talk about the gradual recovery, only for a steep decline to suddenly take him within 36 hours. That's not what this was about. This is a celebration, a show of love to the little gremlin that improved my life tremendously even while causing me problems. The best I can give him now is a digital memory that will, luck serving, even outlive me. An extension of existence that only I can provide. A digital rat ghost, and a way to show off my best boy to the world, one last time.

I had bought them on a whim. I was working nights, my mental health was at its worst, and like all fools, I decided on a bit of retail therapy. I have no idea how I landed on a rat breeder site, but it went downhill from there.

I drove for 3 hours after a 12 hour shift to pick these two goones, Juice box and Jimmothy from the breeder. Those are the names I gave them because at that point I was delirious from caffeine and excitement, so named them the best I could

I had no idea what I was getting into whatsoever. You look at that adorable, photogenic man and tell me you expected trouble! But he was. Although not as brash and indipendet as his brother, he was a escape artist through and through. He was the one that first broke out of the cage when I wasn't looking. I found him 10 min later, watching me from the trash can.

And then under the dresser

And later, on the bed after breaking into the snacks.

I would later have to modify the cage to keep him and his brother from escaping. What I learned first is that rats were smarter than you would give them credit for. They would engineer escapes if they caught me slacking, pull things through the bars of the cage, the works.

But what I learned about my pocket puppies was a diffrence of personality. Jimmothy was, and still is, a tank of a rat. Even at two years old, he fights off my younger rat Jeepers with ease. The man is nearly 500 grams but according to the vet is "Healthy as a old man could possiably be, if a bit fat." Hes always had a personality to match. A rowdy, demanding rat with an independence streak a mile long Juice box turned out to be a god-damned goofball.

Jimmothy, if given the ability, would mug you for cheese. Juice box? oh he would just share it and try to be your friend. There wasn;t a brain cell rattling around in that head that wasn't dedicated to friendship. So he was a goofy, dumb little goblin.

Unlike his brother, he would sometimes come up and just flop in your lap, or hang out on your shoulder like a fuzzy parrot. He didn't pretend he didn't want your love like his prideful brother.. He had no pride, only love in his little heart.

He of course, cuddled most with his brother, something he grudgingly went along with. he was the runt after all, and like the little brat he was he got what he wanted. But that didn;t mean he shunned human company completely.

He would let me pose him for these silly little photos as well, but I didn't just use him for my own artistic desires, I enjoyed some smuggle time as well.

not to mention he would groom me constantly. At first I thought it was just something tastey on my hands. I would not assume love out of this simple act. But after some tests, washing my hands with non sented soaps, and even showering, he still groomed me. A simple act that showed me how much he cared, in his own little air headed way. I find it funny that I have so few picures of this act, despite the fact he would do it for half a hour if allowed. I guess I was too busy enjoying the moment.

That's not to say his brother didn't love me, Juice was just more willing to show it. Jimmothy had his ways but he was much like a cat in that respect. I was also his second fav. His love for his brother was unmatched, even when he was being a bit of a bully.

They would fuck with each other constantly, steal food from each other constantly, and play wrestle. Pretty much brothers through and through. Little shitheads that they were

But although his brother hadn't aged a day, Jimmothy began to slow down. I won't torment you with that slow painful process. But what I will share with you is a small ray of sunshine. A small, warm moment, from me to you. And a comfort most other rat owners needed to hear.

As he got older and started to slow down, he grew more gentle and more attached. he would run to me during their playtime and cuddle into me. He would bury his little face into my shirt. He would even hide under my shirt. The little scamp was most likely getting away for his more energetic younger brother. But then he started getting sick.

And all he did was seek time with me. He would, even wobbly and ill as he was, clamber up to the cage when opened and try to climb up my arm. He would fight me when I went to put him back in the cage, weakly, but still. I thought at the time he was seeking comfort and quiet with me, while the other two healthy rats ran rampant. Now, I'm half convinced he did it for me too. I had thought them animals, smart, but animals none the less. I am convinced he knew his time was coming far before me, as I stubbornly fought to keep the reaper at bay for a few months more. But he sought me out for comfort, to be held, every single time, even when he could barely move he strive to climb up my shoulder or fall asleep in my arms. He felt safe. He trusted me when he must have been scared

The last week he spent alive was spent close to me. He didn't want to wander so I would keep him at my desk, so he would be close. He had put on weight that week, and had been eating pretty well and responding to antibiotics. But on his last day on this earth, he refused to eat but would bury himself in my warmth whenever he could. I remember watching shitty youtube videos while petting him the entire morning, a day I had had off for once in a long time. I was showered from the gym and in fresh clothes. I put him down in his pet bed, tucked him in, and got a little writing done. And then he was gone. It's the only comfort I had, really, that I was with him when he died. That although I wasn't holding him, he didn't feel alone, he didn't feel scared. Rats tend to go out loud, screaming and fighting. Juice box passed so quietly that I only noticed when I picked him up and he was cold. I am sure, that he knew he was loved. All your rats know that you love them. Take some comfort in that although their lives were short, you were their entire world.

[honeyquinns]

DRUG BUST

eddie munson x reader x steve harrington

requested: when eddie gets busted for selling ketamine, he uses his one phone call to contact reader and says he needs her to bail him out. she does everything she can to get the money but it’s not enough so eddie tells her about the stash of money steve has and reader seduces him into giving her the money.

warnings: drugs, cussing, seducing men. nothing insane…per say

——————————————————————————

*phone rings*

"hello"

"hi mrs. riley, is y/n home?"

"yes she is, Eddie. i'll get her for you"

"thanks"

you hear your mom yell your name from the kitchen, letting you know Eddie was on the phone. you picked up the phone from your room. "hey Ed, what's up?" you here him sigh on the other end "wait a minute-mom! hang up the phone!" you yell slightly “fine but you kids better not be discussing any involvement in sneaking out like last time. i will be on the first way to Wayne's house." she hangs up the phone, leaving you and Eddie in private. "what's wrong, Eddie?" he hesitates to answer, "don't get mad at me...i'm in jail and i need you to come bail me out." you sit up fast, moving your hair out of your face "what the fuck did you do!?” “i got caught selling special k to one of the assholes on the football team” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose “where am i supposed to get the money Eddie? and how much even is it?” he hesitates his answer and talks slightly low “500” “excuse me?? repeat that” he speaks up clearer “it’s 500 bucks but i have 300 in my safe under my bed that i saved for emergencies!” you start slipping on your long sleeve sweater, pulling your hair out from inside of it, still on the phone “okay but i’m gonna have to dip into some of my savings and i can only get 80. my mom keeps track of that shit.” you can almost hear Eddie get excited “great! yes! all we need is 120. where can we find that?”

you thought for a second and remembered one person who would easily give you money “ Steve Harrington” Eddie scoffed “you’re kidding me. the babyshitter.” you roll your eyes at him “do you want to get out or not” he sighs “fine okay but don’t tell him it’s for me, he won’t even give you the money if you did that. hell he probably won’t even give you the money at all. we’re both freaks in his eyes” you sat silent knowing Eddie had no idea what you knew and that’s that Steve had the biggest crush on you. you found out when babysitting Lucas and he rambled on about how Steve was an asshole at first but that he changed and when he met you after hanging with the kids at scoops ahoy, he started to have the biggest crush on you. honestly as much as you wanted to like Steve, you couldn’t stand the fact that not only did he bully your best friend but he also slut shamed Nancy, who you weren’t super close to but because of the kids, you considered her your friend and could always talk to each other.. especially about things Eddie wouldn’t understand. “don’t worry Munson, i know exactly a way to get the money from it. keep to yourself, i’ll be there in an hour. don’t drop the soap.” “y/n-“ you cut him off but hanging up.

you slip on your shoes and jacket and grab your safe from your closet, pulling out 80 bucks cash. you look out from your door and see the lights out downstairs, meaning your mom is asleep. you sneak downstairs being as quiet as you could, grabbing your house keys and slipping out the back door. you knew your mom would hear your car start or see it gone if she wakes up for a glass of water so you settled on taking your bike. you live 5 minutes from Eddie so you get there quickly and knock on his door revealing his uncle. “hey Mr. Munson! can i come in?” he gives you a warm smile “ofc y/n but Eddie isn’t here” you walk in and turn around to face him “uhhh yes! i’m with Eddie- well he’s over at the bench in the woods, i’m just grabbing something of his.” Wayne knew you two typically hung out at the benches to smoke weed, he didn’t really mind as long as he knew you kids were safe and where he could easily find you. after all, you were both 19. there’s not much he could control about that. “alright but don’t stay out too late, yeah? i don’t want your mom getting worried.” “of course!”

you head to Eddie’s room going under his bed and grabbing his safe, counting out the 300 dollars. you put his safe back and bike all the way to Steve’s house. his parents were always on business trips so you knew he’d have the house to himself. you made your way up to his door and knocked. 20 seconds later, you see Mr. scoops ahoy himself, dressed his pajama pants and no shirt. this should be easy, you thought. “y/n? what are you doing here? it’s 11pm.. and how did you know where i live?” he gives you a confused, tired face. “i’ve been here to pick up Lucas and the boys annnnd i need your help” you inch a little bit closer to him. “what-what’s wrong?” he says stuttering a bit. you usually kept your distance from Steve so you being closer to him made him nervous. “well you see i’ve been saving up for this gift i wanted to for Lucas. some big science machine he’s been wanting and i thought i could ask you for a bit of the money?” you bit your lip at him, giving him eyes which makes him weak at the knees. “i-i mean how much do you need?” “$120 dollars…cash” his eyes widened “woah, that’s uh pretty penny” you nod your head “yeah…i mean if you want something in return i can do that.” you stand closer, leaning your arm on the front door seal looking up at him.

“i- uh well i mean not that i wouldn’t mind a night with you- or! uh not that i would appreciate a return but it’s not needed. i care about Lucas so i could do it for him” he smiled but still nervous in your presence. you gave him the biggest smile you could. you were honestly surprised that he wouldn’t want anything in return. all you ever seen and heard in school was how much of a player he was and the amount of hookups he had. i guess maybe the kids really had changed him..or the fact that he got his ass beat by Jonathan Byers. either way, it almost made you want to return the favor anyway. he opens the door more, revealing his entry way. “you can come in.” you slide in and stand awkwardly by the steps. “i’ll grab the money, i’ll be right back.” he jogs up the stairs and you look around. you turn to see lots of pictures of his family, even his baby pictures. he looked like such a sweet kids but how did he grow up to be an asshole? you heard feet shuffling down the steps and turned around “120 cash” he hands it to you with a small smile.

“thank you, Steve. i appreciate it a lot” you almost felt bad you lied to him but you would also do anything for Eddie. he was practically your soulmate. platonic or romantic you never knew but he’s your best friend and somewhat playing Steve is kind of like revenge for all the girls he’s played. you couldn’t really regret. Steve leaned in closer to you, “i know you think i’m just some asshole but believe me, i’m not that bad of a guy.” you didn’t really know what to say so you nodded your head “maybe i will. you never really know, Harrington.” you backed out of his house and got on your bike. 20 minutes later you made it to the police station and nearly out of breath. “i should’ve just taken the fucking car” you whispered to yourself, breathing heavily. you got yourself together and walked into the police station, being greeted by “y/n, i see you’re here for Eddie” you roll your eyes at him. he was always a sarcastic smartass. “yes.. officer calla-ass” you mumbled. “okay alright, whisper all you want i have ears like a hawk.” he puts his hands up annoyed and walks away. you wait a couple of minutes until you see Chief Hopper.

“y/n” he said monotone “Jim” you matched his tone and frowned your brows to mock his little anger face. “seriously? okay, just come get your little friend and go home before i call your parents.” you follow him to the back where the cells are and see a tired Eddie laying on the cold bench. Hopper bangs on the gate and pulls out his keys “wakey, wakey Munson. your girlfriends here.” and just like that Eddie pops up, wipes his eyes and stretches. Hopper open the gate door and Eddie spots you running up, picking you up and twirling you around “there’s my girl! i thought you’d never get here” he kisses your forehead multiple times and gives you another hug. you were just happy to see your best friend again. you both walk out with Hopper and you pay him the bail money. you both walk out and Eddie stared at your bike “you couldn’t give take your car?” he gives you a look. “do you want to deal with my mother?” he shook his head “absolutely not.” with that he hops on the seat and you stand on the back wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

you made it back to your house and hopped off the bikes. you were about to tell Eddie goodnight and go inside when his voice stopped you “so did you uh.. do anything with Steve?” you raised your eyebrows at him “no. why do you ask?” he shrugs “i mean i don’t know.. you said you’d handle it but we all know Steve is a player…so i just thought-“ you stop him “no i didn’t. but i did.. somewhat seduce him into giving me the money for Lucas and it worked. he didn’t ask for anything though” he smiled then it dropped “what if he did? you know- want you do give him something in return” you gave him a soft smile but didn’t want to lie to him “Eddie, i would’ve done anything to get you out of that situation. even if that means sleeping with Steve Harrington” he pushed his lips together and chewed to the side “well i guess i should make sure not to put you in this situation again” you both laughed. “goodnight Eddie. get some rest please” you give him a hug and head toward your back door.

“wait-“ you turn around to face him. “we’ve been best friend for a long time right?” you nod your head “yeah duh of course” he puts his hands in his pocket and kicks an invisible rock. “would it be weird to..ask you on a date?” your eyes became wide, you never thought in a million years your best friend since age 12 would ask you out of a date. “what made you ask me that?” you said curiously. he shrugged again “i just- realizing you were with Steve, even thought didn’t do anything, just made me feel like i should admit my feelings for you.” you were shocked. yeah you always had a small crush on Eddie but you never thought a relationship would happen, actually you thought it would ruin the bond you two had if it ended badly so you just shoved the feelings away but him admitting to liking you back just brought back the butterflies you always had. “you have feelings for me?” you ask smiling. “oh don’t give me that y/n, i know when you start teasing.” and he was right, you had to tease him just a little bit. “you like me, you wanna kiss me, you wanna hug me, you wanna love me” you sung dancing slightly. he couldn’t even contain his laughter at that moment “oh my god. yes y/n, i do. would you like to go on a date with me?” he pushes out “yes Ed i would love to go on a date with you.” he smiles and gives you a hug. “i will pick you up tomorrow.”

you smile and turn to your back door, opening it “leave the ketamine at home” you said jokingly “ha. ha very funny. i’m stealing your bike”. as you turn around to stop him he already chases away with it, his hair flowing in the wind and he hops on the bike peddling fast “see ya tomorrow!” he yells down the road. you look at him until he disappears into the next street and head to your room. you lay in your bed, staring at your ceiling thats flashing lights from your tv. all you could think about was that you bailed your best friend out of jail for drugs and now you’re going on your first date with him. you weirdly felt super happy and went to bed excited for the next day.

——————————————————————————

a/n: one thing imma do… is always slide y’all a friends to lovers trope. i live for it. 🤭 i also don’t get many eddie requests so send some in!!!

[atozfic]

lessons in law.

⎘ pairing: fem!reader x choi san.

⎘ genre: dilf!san, lawyer!san, tutor!san, law-student!reader, smut, all parties are of legal age!!

⎘ warnings: dom!san, sub!reader, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), dirty talk, hair pulling, light name calling, mentions of punishment, san is a simp in denial.

⎘ description: sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with an oral exam.

⎘ word count: 1.6k

⎘ author’s note: this was supposed to be a less-than-500-words timestamp. 🧍‍♂️

⎘ taglist: @yunhobabygurl, @eonghwa, @iusrene, @nari-nim, @couchpotatoaniki, @vanishingboots, @yoheyyosup, @spacepiratehongjoong, @rainteez02​ unable to tag: @harry-the-pottypus

masterlist.

navigation.

© atozfic, 2021.

“for a d-defamation lawsuit to turn out success- fuck!” from the moment your resolve slips, you regret it, almost going as far as to complain verbally, if you didn’t already know better.

talking back will only get you punished, and not in the way of whips and chains and all things spice, but in the way of being left high and dry, pussy wet and unfilled. 

cold air brushes up against your sensitive folds as the man beneath your desk pulls away from your sopping core. you glance down in time to catch the way he swipes his tongue over his lips, collecting the juices you’ve covered him in, in as little as the three minutes he’s been down there.

he’s looking at you with one eyebrow raised, expectantly, awaiting you to correct the error of your ways.

“did i tell you to stop reading, princess?” his voice, the way the gruff in it curls over his words and his beautiful lips move as he speaks, sends a fresh rush of arousal down your nerves.

“no, mr. choi.”

“and what did you do?” 

“stop-” you start, only to do the very thing you said when you jolt in your seat, moments after he’d blown air onto your pulsating heat, torturing you with the minimum amount of pressure against your clit. it takes a deep, calming breath on your end to centre yourself again. “i stopped reading.”

“tsk.” his response worries you. so vague, you’re yet to figure out if he’s going to even bother continuing with the pleasure he was giving you. as if sensing your unsure nature, the drag of his pointer finger over your soaked entrance becomes his answer to the unasked question. “how am i supposed to know you’re studying the notes i gave you if you do that, hmm? do it again and we’ll have to cut the tutoring lesson short today.”

he could have whispered the words and you still would have heard him loud and clear. your eyes reluctantly snap back to the textbook instead of staring down at the sight of him between your legs, hair perfectly slicked back and begging to be messed up, tie undone and hanging from his neck, shirt sleeves rolled up his arms and straining against the muscles of his forearms.

“the act of defamation occurs when someone makes a false and harmful statement...” you begin reciting the words again, after you’d cleared your throat.

as san’s face lowers back onto your aching cunt, you remind yourself over and over to read, just read. that’s all he wants you to do and, in exchange, he’ll take you to heaven with his tongue. but oh, it is so much easier said than done. your hands soon find a grip on the edge of the desk, a place to root yourself down while his tongue drags over you lazily.

“there’s two different types of defamation-” his tongue teases at your hole and you want to beg him, scream at him to shove it- or any other part of him- into your cunt, walls clenching around nothing but your own wetness, causing it to ooze out onto your tutor’s waiting tongue. “libel is the name given to any defamatory words that are written...”

“my princess has the prettiest pussy.” a hand snakes it’s way up your leg, wrapping a tight grip around your thigh before he props it onto his shoulder. when his tongue finally breeches your walls again, it’s at a whole new angle than earlier, and that alone has you wishing you could throw the textbook off your desk only for you to bend over it while mr. choi takes you from behind.

“slander is spoken defamation, and often more trickier to prove in court...” instead, you keep reading so that he’ll keep eating.

“what would your dad say if he knew this is what you use our tutoring sessions for, huh?” san continues to taunt you between licks of your cunt, switching his focus between your hole and your clit. he’s trying to get you to disobey him. “if he knew his dear friend who he asked to help his pretty little daughter get accepted into his law firm has actually been teaching her how to take a proper cock? oh, and just imagine his face if he knew that i fucked you under his very own roof.”

“d- defamation cases are often costly and are a long procedure...” you can’t help it when, instinctually, your hand flies down to tangle itself in his perfectly done hair. instead of pushing you away like you’d thought he would have, san only closes his eyes and let’s out a moan as you tug his hair, face nestling itself deeper between your legs and causing his nose to bump against your clit.

“you have no idea how much i think about you, baby.” his free hand lands on your heat, cupping it as he pulls back to stare up at you. “got me wishing i could have you every hour of the day. that you were mine alone to touch, and fuck, and kiss.”

“w-what would-” you become brave suddenly, spurred on by the moment of vulnerability from the man between your legs, looking so much more at your mercy than ever before, like he’s begging to worship the only goddess he’ll ever know. “your son, or your ex-wife, say if they knew you were doing this, hmm? that you took on an apprentice only to corrupt her?”

“you were corrupted long before i got my hands on you, y/n.” he smirks up at you, only to chuckle when he thrusts a finger into your cunt, no warning, and you gasp, tugging on his hair again. “the only thing i’ve done is show you how good sex can be when you’re doing it with someone experienced instead of some sweaty frat-boy who finishes in two minutes and doesn’t even know where your clit is.”

“you’d be surprised, some of them are better than you give them credit.” you’re lying, without an ounce of shame about it. and it’s more than worth it to see the way his eyes darken, his eyebrows frown, his hand picks up the speed that his finger thrusts into you.

no warning comes when he inserts a second finger. 

“really? can they make you beg for their cock like a bitch in heat?” he doesn’t bother to stall any longer, head diving back down between your legs to shut you up.

his mouth latches onto your clit, rolling it between his lips and prodding at it with his tongue while he continues to fuck you with his hand. a third finger enters you and you throw your head back, body curling off the leather of your desk chair while you tighten your grip on san’s hair.

“mr. choi, please.” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for.

“yeah, just like that. a little slut begging to be fucked full, that’s all you are, right? and no one knows how to give you what you want but me.” every whine, moan of your voice, every time your walls tighten around his digits, it strokes his ego and keeps him giving you more, more, more.

when the coil in your body is so close to finally snapping, he rips his hand from you. it’s a moment of devastation only, until you feel his hand, soaked in you, clasping around your other thigh and dragging it over his shoulder too. then his tongue is back in you, drinking in every bit of essence your quivering hole offers him.

when you cum, it’s with your body more sat on him than the actual chair, hands on your ass and holding you against his face as his tongue continues to work you through the electrifying feeling, nose bumping over your clit every so often. while your jaw is slacked open in a silent scream, san makes no attempt to hold back the moans and grunts ripping through his chest.

“shh, shh, i’ve got you.” he coos when he rises from under your desk, lowering your still quivering body back down onto your chair. you have half the mind to wonder if he’s a completely different man to the one who’d been buried between your thighs minutes ago, as he brings up a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. instead of a smirk or a scowl, he wears a smile, even when you feel his fingers dip back between your swollen folds.

“mr. choi, i need a break first-”

“shh, it’s okay.” and you believe him, as he retracts his hand and brings it up to your mouth, commanding you to open it. your eyes flutter shut as your mouth wraps around his fingers, tasting yourself all over them. “so pretty, aren’t you?”

you can only nod, so relieved he gave you what you wanted even though you’d stopped reading. you’re unsure how long he lets you sit there with his fingers in your mouth but him removing them brings you back into the room instantly. coating your cheek in your own spit-mixed cum as he cups it, he leans down to place a kiss on your neck.

“i need to go make a quick call but, when i come back, i expect you to be naked on your bed, ass up and face down.” this time it really is nothing but a whisper, yet you hear him loud and clear.

“why?” it seems like a silly questions to ask, when you already know exactly why he wants you in that position.

“you didn’t think i was really going to let you get away with talking back to me, did you?”