#i could talk about this convo and their dynamic rn and why Communication Is So Hard For Both Of Them for like ever

[ua-monoma]

monoma 1:55 AM

@ua-iida  hi.

iida 1:55 AM

Hello.

monoma 1:57 AM

.. how are you

iida 1:58 AM

I'm alright. How about you? How are you feeling right now?

monoma 2:01 AM

pissed off tbh

not at you though

just the... mystery stuff again.

not just that but also everyone else that seems to be jumping on it... I don't know how much you've been following

You're not in the chat a lot anymore.

iida 2:03 AM

I try to stay away from Mystery as much as possible. For my own good.

The chat got too hectic for me to handle. I think the teachers do a better job than I do, anyway...

Plus it isn't exactly welcoming...

monoma 2:03 AM

It's not. It's literally just fighting all the time.

Plus it's bugged anyway.

But it has its uses...

iida 2:04 AM

Bugged?

monoma 2:05 AM

There's "a wolf among us"

Like a traitor, or probably just someone who hacked in and is looking

idk

Kendou 2:06 AM

(from Monoma's phone) Oh c dzfy tgc I am not sure hgfdsxb l of the fffffffffffffffffffffffff shhh y

2

2

iida 2:06 AM

....

monoma 2:06 AM

DAMN IT

SORRY

That was Kendou

She's a baby right now.

A baby that's about to get locked in a closet--

iida 2:07 AM

Oh--Did she get hit by the same quirk you were hit with as well?

monoma2:08 AM

I think so. Can't remember anything, she's the same age too.

Lot to handle... kind of fun though.

Anyway,,

... idk. A lot has been happening and I feel like I haven't gotten the chance to see you and

I miss you... 

I kind of just felt like saying that

iida 2:10 AM

I miss you as well.

I've been lonely.

monoma 2:10 AM

... I'm sorry

If I'd known that, I would've been there..

I mean, I still can be, obviously...

... After Kendou is back to normal

iida 2:12 AM

Focus on taking care of Kendou-san first. Take a lot of pictures while you can.

...Like I did.

monoma 2:13 AM

[Sends a selfie of himself and Kendou. They're forming a heart together with their joined hands.]

I am.

You never showed me all of the pictures. >:(

iida 2:14 AM

That is absolutely adorable.

monoma 2:15 AM

Ehehehe

iida  2:15 AM

I'd like to keep those pictures for myself!!

monoma 2:15 AM

Wh-WHY

I mean, that's fine...pff

I miss you a lot

iida 2:16 AM

Hopefully when things settle down, we can talk properly.

monoma 2:18 AM

Talk properly or... "talk properly."

That thing we keep not doing.

I'm starting to get afraid we're never gonna get a chance to do that, haha..

iida 2:21 AM

....

monoma 2:21 AM

...sorry

iida 2:21 AM

Well. If even if we don't talk, I suppose that is alright. 

There is no immediate need for any clarity anyway.

monoma 2:23 AM

I guess

can i say something

actually two somethings

iida 2:24 AM

Sure.

monoma 2:25 AM

I love you

a lot

and I hate the messages I'm getting... and you're getting

because I looked at them a lil a few minutes ago

and, y'know, I have... bad experience with, uh, messages...and it fucking sucks seeing all these strangers just kind of

ugh

likethe whole obsessing thing and acting like they love you when they don't

iida 2:28 AM

... It is a bit disturbing.

But you do know you are the only one I have my eyes on, right?

monoma 2:32 AM

Yeah...

...

I wasn't worried about that

idk

I do love you and

I know I've been saying this already but

I do wanna get better in showing that

and prove all them wrong... because they are wrong

and it's not like I think you believe them or anything, it just got to me. Because they don't know anything but they act like they do and

I'm rambling idk if any of this makes sense

iida 2:34 AM

It does make sense.

monoma 2:34 AM

I love you

iida 2:35 AM

...It's not necessary to explain yourself to me... 

Actions do speak louder than words do, after all.

monoma 2:36 AM

Yeah and I act shitty. Which is why I wanna say it...

iida 2:37 AM

Hmm.

monoma 2:37 AM

...

... I know you believe me. Or I hope so. I guess I'm just afraid of the day you decide you don't anymore

iida 2:38 AM

If the day ever comes, I know you will be alright.

You are very loved, after all.

As you should be.

monoma 2:38 AM

I wouldnt be

iida 2:41 AM

If I may be honest, this road that is laden with uncertainties does not excite me at all. Perhaps this may all be for nothing. Or it could end in both of us going down in flames. No matter how it ends, though, you will always hold a special place in my heart. At the very least, that cannot be taken away from me.

monoma 2:41 AM

... mine too

... that was gonna be the second something

except now i dont wanna say it lol

iida 2:43 AM

I hope you come to understand yourself and your emotions and be happy someday, Monoma-kun. Even if it isn't with me.

monoma 2:45 AM

I don't want to be happy without you

iida 2:47 AM

You may have to learn to do so.

monoma 2:50 AM

I don't want to though.

iida 2:52 AM

You may fall in love with someone else. Someone better. And you will be able to be happy without me. I do not think you needed me to be happy in the first place-- you are whole with or without me by your side.

I want you to remember that.

monoma 2:59 AM

... okay

iida  3:01 AM

Alright.

monoma 3:03 AM

... can i say my second something now

or should i just drop it

iida 3:10 AM

Just say it. If it's that important.

monoma 3:16 AM

[Sends a picture of a sleeping Kendou tucked into her bed.]

I got her to sleep

... Anyway

...

Okay. I'm really, really sorry that it's... been so hard with me. And I'm really trying. I try harder every day and it's really hard

And it.

...I'm really grateful that you're patient with me but

idk I wish you'd lose your patience with me more

or idk,

you tell me stuff is okay and then I believe you and then shit builds up and I can sense that but then you keep saying it's okay and then I fuck up and that's when you tell me anything

but anything between and I don't really know how you're feeling as much and idk, I feel like you're always taking care of me and I'm always trying to take care of myself but I don't get to try and take care of you

And idk if its because you feel like I don't have the right to or if you feel like I honestly cant or

or if it's because I make it too hard to

... idk what I'm saying really. I think I just feel like a burden on you constantly and there's nothing I can do about it

and I want to help you but maybe I just keep trying to look for ways to help you that aren't the ones you asked for

Ugh

I'm sorry

I want to be honest with you

iida  3:52 AM

Monoma-kun, the reason why I try to be as understanding as I can is because I feel like you need that support. People cannot always be at their best and that is alright. I don't expect you to help me in return nor do I think you are obligated to. I help you because I want to. I just need to understand the reasons behind some of your actions. I am alright enough to deal with my own emotions. And while I am still alright, I'd like to help you take steps to being alright, too.

But I cannot do that if you don't communicate with me.

monoma 4:27 AM

... okay

iida 4:39 AM

If there is something you want, I need you to tell me. 

What do you want me to do? What do you want us to be? 

Because I have been trying to read between these lines you draw but I cannot understand.

monoma 5:40 AM

... Can you list what you don't understand maybe

It'll help

sorry

I wanna answer these questions now but also idk

iida  6:03 AM

... Well.

I don't understand what you want us to be.

We have mutual feelings for each other-- we've established that. But then you go off and kiss one of my best friends before talking to me about anything.

You don't owe me an explanation, we aren't in a relationship, but, it does.. hurt. It confuses me still. And if there weren't other pressing matters I would still be upset.

monoma 6:10 AM

...

it's not like I planned that... He was the one that kissed me first and...

I mean, I assumed he would've told you this by now

And I know it's still largely my fault and I'm sorry about that but like

...idk

I get... swept up... I don't think about it

when it's happening, anyway

And I don't feel anything about it, I mean. I don't feel... anything for Midoriya

Kind of the point sometimes is just not feeling anything at all tbh

I do want... us.  though.... 

(I'd feel weird actually talking about us through text though..)

iida 6:40 AM

Do you want "us" because you legitimately do, or because you are lonely?

Sorry, that is a bit too heavy to ask over text.

I am just.

Wondering.

And I am never brave enough to ask you face to face anyway.

monoma 6:41 AM

Oh

Legitimately.

I never really got lonely until after we started spending time together

iida 6:45 AM

Ah.

Alright.

There's still a few things I don't understand, but, I think this is a conversation we should have in person.

Hopefully with no distractions.

monoma 6:47 AM

... Hopefully

iida  6:47 AM

It's very late.. We should get rest.

monoma  6:47 AM

Yeah

This was good I think...haha

iida 6:50 AM

It was.

monoma 6:59 AM

Goodnight then.

iida 7:00 AM

Good night, Monoma-kun. Sleep well.

monoma 7:12 AM

You too

[survivesalem]

Episode 3 - “This music video is kinda hot to be quite honest.” - Raffy

I think this may be the end of me. The worst possible thing has happened. We are tribe swapping....I'm the only member of my tribe over here.....its a 5-1-1......oof Can I get an F in chat? Here's to good luck and hope that there is fracture within the 5.

I am kind of glad to be swapped because it means that I am no longer stuck with a losing tribe. But, it seems no one knows how to edit which just sucks because that will surely mean we will lose the challenge. On the plus side, I have Mac and Jay with me. Our alliance will be stronger than ever! However, Mac let slip earlier that he knows a lot more people than he lets on which means I will allow him to choose the target if we go to tribal council as I don't need to accidentally target someone he's friends with. I feel that I can make stronger connections on my current tribe way more easily than with my old tribe.

Ben and Evelyn went. Inacts. Bye. Now it’s swap. I’m down the street when I see the “Announcement” pop up and I’m like AHH SHIT. I look at the tribes.....I wouldn’t say I’m in danger but the division is literally 3-3-1. Jessie as the swing vote. I need to work my ass off or flip to get myself safe. Oof I’m worried. Butttttt MUSIC VIDEO CHALLENGE TIMEEEEE. I was away when people discussed the songs, and it’s literally some random song I’ve never heard of. I’d love to bitch and complain but also not, so I’ll just sell this fucking performance xoxo

So we get tribe swapped and I’m the only og tituba still on the tribe . Gonna list my thoughts on my new tribe members Raft - seems okay we played a game in the past we’re he got out early . Picked the music video song seems to be a take charge personality . Jay : haven’t spoken much don’t vibe yet . Seems very silent Jessie: wow Jessie, it’s finally your challenge please snap or you’ll probably be yeeted off the tribe Lukas: haven’t spoken . Don’t think he’s gonna reach out first so it’s gonna have to be me . Keegan/Harley: played atomic didn’t work together we said we are gonna work together this time so hopefully it happens Mac/ Oak tree man: THIS IS THE MAN I SENT PICTURES OF TREES TO IN ATOMIC. He passes my vibe check . Brien: I’ve actually met him and he seems genuinely hyped that we get to play together . Don’t think he’s voting me off soon Rn my biggest concerns on the tribe are Jay and Lukas due to lack of communication. I’m sure they already have connections most people tend to . Anyways yeah I’m just hoping we win this music video challenge because honestly I love our tribes ideas. Spooky spooky witchy witchy

Despite being hesitant about editing, I think I am actually doing a pretty good job at this! This is probably going to be the best music video I've ever put together. Brien was talking to me earlier about how he thinks this tribe isn't going to be based on tribal lines. That the game would be more dynamic if we play without it. But, here's the thing, I don't believe that. I think we need to get rid of an original Good member since one of those people will come back if we go to tribal. Plus he wanted to get info out of me already on my old tribe like.... we're not that close bro. At least not yet.

My dumbass not submitting any confessionals before episode 3. Gotta love that INV1 rating! So, lots has happened. Gizmo and Cameron are sneaky sneaks who have been playing all sides and just being chaotic little shits. Our tribe had multiple alliances by like day 2, even before the first challenge results. Slow down there! We ended up coming in second in a challenge but since 2/3 tribes we’re going To tribal we still had to go. Eve was voted out 4-1-1 against Cameron and ME! How dare they?? I think it was Eve who voted me but whatever. And then we swapped into two tribes! And this is basically Nova Scotia 2.0. We’ve got me and Mac and Jessie! We’ll see if that goes anywhere if we lose a challenge. (This rounds is music videos 🤮) So anyways Brien, Lukas and I are sticking together for a bit based on OG tribes, and I’ll see if I can’t get Jessie or Jay (who I just voted out of Atomic oop) to work with us. But that leaves Mac and Raffy in the outs? Who I both enjoy a lot. So, we’ll see what happens. I don’t see myself being a target right away but you never know.

Well, I did not like this challenge at all. I'm a pretty shy person so this was really out of my comfort zone. Unfortunately I wasn't able to film a whole lot due to having to travel this weekend, but! I still at least got something in to show I tried. I may have figured a way to get myself into majority which I really need. I just hope we can get it all sorted out today.

This music video is kinda hot to be quite honest. I think we're going to win, unless they have some editing god on the other side. I would be so disappointed in myself if we lost cause I'm just an amateur. However, I believe that people have appreciated my efforts as editor, so I will most likely survive this round. I just need to protect Jay and Mac. I hope they have started being social with everyone. On this tribe, I want to work with Jessie because she's in the middle of the tribe line split. I have not told Jay or Mac this because I want to keep my cards as close to my chest as possible in the pre-merge. I do not even know if I even want to work with anyone in the long term. In any case, I am hoping to target either Lukas or Brien. I have talked to Lukas the least which is problematic, and Brien is always on game mode seemingly. He's been talking strategy despite not even going to tribal. That's a potential threat. However, I am going to let other people take the lead for this vote. I just want to focus on socially and strategically positioning myself with people that like me.

so uhhh....we’re doing my least favorite challenge. Music videos are the bane of my existence. I always end up editing and I refuse to do it now. Paolo is supposed to be our editor, but he has gone AWOL. I mean...I could offer to edit, but like.....why not let Paolo lose the challenge for us and then vote him out? Seems like an easy option to me. 🤷🏼‍♂️

The swap Tituba tribe are safe. HOT. Now. I’m super happy since this is the first time this season I’m immune. I can’t talk game with Liam and I hate this. But omg I need Alex safe. I also need Liam safe. Hopefully someone flops and they can leave. If my tribe lost, I’m pretty sure I would’ve had the numbers to send Keegan home. I make Brien seem like he’s in control of the vote while working with Jay and Raffy for a 4-3 vote or a 5-2 vote. That difference would be if Jessie was on my side or not.

we lost. i’m excited to start the game and go to tribal. idk what i plan to do yet, but I have ideas about who I want to work with.

Sad days. It's my first tribal of the season in the post tribe swap, and I'm not really sure where I've ended up on the tribe. I haven't spoken a word to Alex, and I voted Zach out in a prior game, so I don't know if he'll hold that against me. I like Austin, Gizmo, and Dylan, but we've never had a chance to talk game or work together yet. I'm also nervous that people will target me since I did such a bad job at editing compared to the other team, but who knows. It's gonna be a free for all on my end.

The other tribe, Osbourne, is going to tribal. In our tribe, it’s a 3-3-1 split. On the other tribe, it’s a 5-1-1 split. The 1 person also has the 5 from the other tribe, making all six. That’s worrying. If one of those 5 don’t go home then we may have to throw a challenge or two and make sure the 1 leaves. The only issue, that 1 is Jessie, and I really like them as a person. My new tribe has 3 OG Good; Keegan, Lukas, Brien, as well as 3 Osbourne; myself, Jay and Raffy. Brien is the outlier with Lukas and Keegan being close. Brien fed me useful info of Gizmo being new and close to Lukas and Keegan. On my personal hitlist; is Lukas, Keegan and Austin. I don’t trust those 3 out of the people left in the cast, even despite me and Austin never interacting yet. Austin is sweet but their style gameplay is a lil cutthroat. Pretty much what I’m saying is whoever goes from the opposing tribe is who I target in this tribe when we go to tribal. Either Jessie, or the Keegan/Lukas duo. Anyways, stream Sour Candy by Lady Gaga ft BLACKPINK.

Keegan definitely voted for Cameron bc he was scared of an idol I’m fairly certain of it but I understand why he did so I’m not mad at him and I think I trust him on this new tribe more then Lukas. But I fear they are a duo and I wanna talk to Jessie and tell her my fears so she knows she can trust me and maybe me her and Keegan can be a group. I wanna work with Jessie bc I know her pregame and met her irl but the only problem is her original tribe has not lost a member and if we don’t vote her out here then the other tribe might stick together and get Alex and Gizmo out before turning on eachother then we could have all of them at a merge which would not be ideal. So I gotta weigh if keeping Jessie as an ally is worth that happening. I had a good convo with Mac Idk where will stand on this new tribe but I wanna work with him bc I think he will always be perceived as more threatening then me. He even bought up the idea of a tengagers alliance with everyone in the game that has a tengaged which is me him Liam Alex and Cameron we will see if all of us are still around come merge time but I’m excited to maybe make that reality once we merge. We both kinda agreed Austin is shady. Keegan Mac and Jessie all just played atomic together which worries me that they will want to stick together on this tribe but I definitely want to work with Mac and I need to make sure he knows it. Atm the person I’m least closest to on my tribe is Jay so if we lose I’d want to try to make a move on him possibly. I wanna work with raffy but he sketches me out in our pms and isn’t willing to give me any info. I fear Keegan and Lukas are too close and I’m a 3rd wheel for them I wanna see if I can enlist macs help to take one of them out maybe Lukas because he talks to me less then Keegan does

I can't believe that I won a music video challenge with my editing skills. I am so proud of that video! I am going to take the time that we are immune to bond more with my tribe. I think I have gotten the best vibes from Keegan and Jessie. Brien is middling. Lukas and I don't really connect that well. I think I am still good with Jay and Mac, so there's no worry on that front. Now that I edited my tribe to victory, they will all probably like me and want to work with me a lot more. There's the benefit of volunteering as editor hehe.

So right now I would definitely consider Mac my number one ally and I wanna keep that lowkey so no one sees us as a duo he suggested throwing the next 2 challenges to get a mix of Jessie, Keegan and Lukas out which is interesting and throwing challenges rarely works but I love going to tribal so Im not gonna say no to it. Plus if it helps gizmo stay in the game on the other tribe longer that’s good. I really like him and want to see him make the merge and then maybe we can work together at the merge Mac really seems to think merge will be at 12 and I’m not too sold on that we could have a swap or not merge at 12 So the way this tribe is it’s me and mad together and he is playing Raffy and jay and I’m playing Lukas and Keegan and idk where Jessie figures into all this but I feel bad that she may have to go simply for numbers sake if one of her original tribe doesn’t go at this tribal. I’m trying my best to be social with everyone and I think I’m a good spot to not go if we go to 2 or even 3 tribals in this tribe that’s another reason I’m not opposed to throwing the challenges. I don’t see a reason jay would trust Keegan after he voted him out in atomic so we may be able to get a 5 person majority against Keegan and Lukas who I made sure Mac knew they were right. Or if we have to we can maybe get a unanimous vote against Jessie. Mac and I made all these grand plans to make the end game and have specific numbers come merge but things never work out the way you plan them so I need to have a plans b through z at the ready and I don’t wanna put all my eggs in the Mac train atm even though I think I convinced him to trust me and he can until I feel I can’t beat him or he is more loyal to someone else *cough cough* Liam they are both hosts together on tengaged I played their game so they are close but mac is certainly trying to downplay it I need Keegan and Lukas to trust me until it’s too late for them. Will I have some remorse going for my original tribe ehh not really in games if I see I better route or a better opportunity I’m gonna take it. I think I’m the real swing vote when we have to go to tribal especially if Keegan really thinks he can get Jessie on our side. So that puts me in an interesting spot a spot where I could be loyal to my OG tribe or I could make a move a change the direction of my game for the better. It’s weird bc I’ll have enemies after I make my choice but I need to make sure the allies I make won’t turn on me after I side with them. Idk the choice I’m gonna make yet I need to weigh out the pros and cons and decide accordingly but one thing is for sure I’ll be in charge at the next vote

Well, we lost the music video challenge. Can't say I'm surprised, we took forever to get it together. There isn't as much activity on this tribe as far as I can see at least. I really want to survive this tribal. I think I've gotten myself into a good position. I'm in a 4 person alliance which is majority, but who knows if they're being honest. I'm currently trying to get in with the three other tribe members. If i can position myself as the swing vote I think that would be good for me at least for this vote.

Flirting with Brien is fun. Maybe that'll bring us closer and he'll be my goat hehe. But who can never be sure

Jay brought up in the alliance chat what we are going to do if we have to go to tribal in the future. He's just trying to get out there who would be receptive of working with us (me, Mac, and him). Jay says that he's talked the most with Brien and Lukas. That is strange because I barely talk to Lukas. I probably should get on that. I said I talked the most with Brien and Jessie. I really want to sell them on Jessie so that we can make her work with us which will help us gain a majority on this tribe without stepping on tribal lines. Mac has yet to wake up, so I'm waiting to see what he thinks. It sounds like our alliance might want to work with Brien eventually, but we shall see. I am very hesitant to even mention working with anyone because I do not want to step on toes so early on. Maybe I should try to keep my mouth shut on game talk and work on being social for the time being.

Mac is spilling the hot tea today. He wants to throw the next immunity challenge to take out either Keegan or Lukas. I am in love with this idea as it puts the target on Mac instead of myself since he was the one who said it. I will just let people fight my battles for me until merge to avoid the big target. Apparently, Keegan is a past winner and Lukas is popular in the community. So, if we take them out now, then we can set ourselves up in a power position late down the line. I can see why Mac made POTS. He is definitely a strategic threat and has a very analytical mind. When I backstab him, I need to do it swiftly and effectively. I hoping that Jay follows through with the plan. I believe that we will target Keegan as he has not been the most active in the chats at all. This could make him the easy vote out. I want to include Jessie in on the plan in order to establish a strong connection with her. This is so when we do merge that she won't fall back to her old tribe and will fall back to us.

So uh........,,.,,.,.,..,shit hit the fan. Apparently Austin is targeting Dylan and I do yeehaw. I think Dylan and I are going to try and pull votes for austin.

When that chat was created between Alex, Austin, Gizmo & Myself I knew I had to expose it! AND THAT'S WHAT YA BOI DID! Austin is a rat and I've had shady vibes from him since the beginning and this just confirmed it. I told Dylan, Paolo & Zach what Austin said and some certain people were not that happy. I think it's either Austin or Paolo going but I'm still not 100% but if I managed to get numbers for Austin I'm so SHOOK