#i decided to this for the second week of june and not the first bcs tbh...i thought itd be a bit short notice

[boimlerkisser]

🌈 Welcome to WLWeek 2024 🌈

Hello everyone, I wanted to put together a nice, low-pressure event dedicated to my fellow wlw self shippers for one week of June because it's pride month, babey!! This is the first time I've ever tried to 'organize' an event, so take it easy on me, I'll try to be as communicative as possible and if anyone has questions about it, asks and DMs are always open!

On to the details! Its gonna last from Monday the 10th through Friday the 14th, and anyone can opt in or out as they see fit! No one is obligated to participate throughout the entire week or from the beginning alone, just do what you feel like!

RULES:

NO PROSHIPPERS/COMSHIPPERS/NEUTRAL, all blogs with that will be blocked on sight!

Obviously don't participate if you're not wlw/not shipping with a female character

Lesbians, bisexual, pansexual, sapphic, and once again general wlw/nblw are welcome!

Essentially I am tolerating NO funny business, and I won't tolerate bullying either so everyone be very niceys and hey, try to support each other! 💖💖💖 now onto the prompt list

Monday June 10th: Favorite style/aesthetic-

draw you and your female f/o in your favorite clothing style (goth, Y2K, cottagecore, etc.) Or what you think their favorite style would be! alt. for writers, write a drabble about going shopping for these outfits with your f/o!

Tuesday June 11th: Morning routine -

draw you and your female f/o getting ready for the day. Who's the early riser and who's dragging them back into bed? alt. for writers, write an early morning cuddle session/chat. 

Wednesday June 12th: Date night-

draw you and your female f/o on a date! Is it a dinner, a picnic? Are you guys dressed to the nines or at home in your jammies? Alt. for writers, write a date gone slightly awry. How do you fix things/compromise? 

Thursday June 13th: Beach day-

it's summertime, draw you and your female f/o in beachwear and enjoying the sun and sand! alt. for writers, write out a nice dip in the ocean! Can you swim? Can your f/o? Does one have to teach the other? Is it nice and relaxed or does it dissolve into splash fighting? 

Friday June 14th: Role/Ship Swap -

draw your f/o as the self shipper and you as the fictional character role they fill! What kind of s/i do they make? Would they write fanfic, draw fanart? Alt. for writers, write a gush post from ur f/o's point of view! 

And that's it!! Do one of them, do all of them, or do none of them, it's your choice! I just wanted to show some love to my fellow wlw self shippers out there this month and so something fun for them!

Now if you got this far and you read the rules make sure to put 'great googly moogly' in the tags when u rb! And don't forget to tag my blog here when you write/draw for this event!!! 🫶🫶 everyone who does will get a rb from me and a little promo as well, and maybe even a follow cause I need more wlw mutuals :3

[sorryimananti-romantic]

sorryimananti-romantic's tumblr wrapped, 2024

tagged by @makeitmingi and @sungbeam <3

2024 review

this year i explored a lot of the darker characters/dynamics which was an absolute pleasure, but i think such heavy plots also drained the energy out of me (or maybe it was the absolute monster of a wip i was writing consistently all year). while i did slip in some fluffy lighthearted fics here and there, i decided to take a break in november from writing in general. after an actual no-writing few weeks, i went back to my wip series and decided to just follow my heart (as if i hadn't already been doing that before) but more importantly, not force myself to write.

as of 2024, i have written more than a million words in a span of 3 years. i think i deserve to be slow with writing now! (plus, life, folks. real life.) thank you to all my lovely mutuals and readers for the incredible support you've shown me here!

total statistics of 2024

no. of fics: 8 total wc: 190,299 (+ a solid 113,000 if we count the leaders) no. of wips: 1 (+ a few ideas that have only been brainstormed but not written)

genres explored in 2024

fantasy, supernatural, historical, royal, thriller, action, crime, psychology-ish, futuristic, tragedy, adventure, romance, mafia (basically... everything?)

first fic of 2024: siren

- posted: jan 2nd - pairing: siren!yeosang x sirenhunter!reader - comments: this was my first time writing anything related to the sea (if memory serves me right) so while this was quite the challenge, it was fun bc i wanted to make sth unique out of the typical siren x siren hunter plot. i'm glad the response was good!

longest fic: light

- posted: sept 10th - pairing: mafia/angel!seonghwa x chemist!reader - comments: i think this is my second fav fic from this year. the idea of 'what happens when an angel becomes evil' plagued my mind so bad that i just had to get this out of my system. plus, i love writing fantasy in general so this was fun.

last fic: the leaders | chapter I

- posted: dec 31st - pairing: ot8!ateez x reader, mafia au - comments: just posted, pls check it out! it's going to be a long series since it's been in planning and a wip for over a year now. the leaders is going to be my whole personality for the foreseeable future (plus, according to my schedule, it's going to end in the 3rd quarter of 2025 so... buckle up!)

top 3 most popular fics of 2024

guerrilla

- posted: jan 31st - pairing: serialkiller/vigilante/doctor!yunho x writer!reader - comments: when i wrote this, i had no idea it would blow up. it's lighthearted but i think the response triggered me to explore more morally grey characters and darker dynamics.

ateez as villains

posted: nov 5th comments: this marked the last fic of this year, and also the villain/dark characters arc I've had going the whole year. i think it was a nice wrap because i'm taking a break from writing other stuff and just focusing on finishing my ongoing series.

new world

posted: june 5th pairing: prince!hongjoong x physician!reader comments: i think this was peak morally black characters and peak toxic manipulative dynamics between the characters, yet there was a sad beauty to it. i enjoyed writing this very much.

yumi's personal picks

star 1117

- posted: july 10th - pairing: wooyoung x alienoid!reader - comments: and this is my fav fic from 2024! it has everything i love: wooyoung, space, time travel, wholesome side characters jongho and yeosang, alienoid reader who learns to connect with the human in herself, and such delicious plot twists and foreshadowing. i'm ngl, i'm the biggest fan of this fic, and it's prob also one my fav oneshots I've written. while this didn't blow up (why do my fav fics never do), i had sooo much fun writing this.

cyberpunk

- posted: march 27th - pairing: droid!jongho x programmer!reader - comments: this was THE toughest fic to plan (not the time travel ones, not even mafia, but THIS). i haven't read many droid stories so lack of reader knowledge, and then wanting to still make a plot out of it other than 'omg my boyfriend turned into a droid' was hard. i rewrote this so many times but i'm very satisfied with how it turned out.

wave (sneaking this here bc it's the only unmentioned fic LOL)

- posted: april 25th - pairing: teacher!mingi x teacher!reader (headcanons) - comments: this one was a fun filler fic (bc i'm guilty that I've not written much mingi, and bc i literally could not write at that time). i love a fluffy mingi, i love fluffy fics in general so this was the product of my simpness, if you will.

2025 goals

finish the leaders and finish posting it, not force myself to write, write better, read more fics on here, and explore more genres (atp will have to invent some), finish the current ideas before planning and obsessing over new ones vs writing whatever i want (a constant struggle), and finally, just survive :')

np tags: @lorensonebraincell @kitten4sannie @sp4ceboo @sweetinsaniiity @bvidzsoo @pirateprincessblog + anyone who wants to (if yall write for different fandoms, you can add a 'top artists/muses' section too.)

[miley1442111]

burnt- s.adamu

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two different sydney requests:

i got so excited seeing syd in the new trailer for the bear s3 😭 need something with reader x sydney bc i can’t wait until june 27!! anything you can think of possibly based on some stuff hinted in the trailer would be great :) thank you so much!!

requesting sydney x reader! feel like it’s been so long since ive seen any content with her, especially because we were robbed of even a glimpse of her in that new teaser they released the other day 😭

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a/n: i hope you both enjoy! thank you for requesting!

summary: your girlfriend doesn't take it too well when she finds out you kept your injury from her.

pairing: sydney adamu x fem! berzatto! reader

warnings: reader gets hurt, burned hand, i think that's it?

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Baste, pour, flip, repeat. Baste, pour, flip, repeat. Baste, pour, flip, repeat. God, did Carmen need to yell so loud? 

You looked up for a split second, not even- just a fraction of a half-second, and you felt the burn of the boiling duck fat begin to sear your skin. It bubbled the skin on your left hand, leaving it exposed to the heat of the room and making it so much worse.  

“Fuck!” you shouted, pulling your hand away from the hot stove and turning it off. You held your hand close to your chest with a pain expression as all eyes handed on you. 

“W-what, what happened?” Carmen asked, running over. 

“Fuck you,” you said through gritted teeth. “Why do you fucking shout so loud?” You asked your brother. He rolled his eyes and pulled you to the other side of the kitchen and looked down at your hand. 

“Oh fuck,” Richie mumbled, joining the huddle you and Carm had made. “You’re going to have to go to the emergency room for that one.”

“No fucking shit jagoff,” you seethed. “I’ll grab my shit and drive myself. Get back to service Carm.”

He stared at you for a second. “You sure?”

“I’m fine,” you nodded and he obliged, pressing a quick kiss to your temple like he used to when you were kids. 

---------------------------

The drive to the ER was agony. Every movement of your hand was like a thousand needles being pushed into the skin and the ice pack Carm had given you wasn’t helping.  

You debated calling Syd, but this was her one night off to spend with her dad. You didn’t want to bother her, and you sure as hell didn’t want her to wait with you in the packed ER for the next 3 hours. You decided to just stare at your phone screen and scroll instagram until you were called in. 

Ring, ring, ring. 

Sydney’s contact jumped up on the screen and your senses were immediately heightened. Had Carm told her? How did she know? Maybe she didn’t know… maybe she was just calling to say that she was going to stay with her dad for the night and that she wouldn’t be home, you didn’t know.

“You got burnt?!” she questioned, concern filling her voice. 

“Who told you that?” you asked. 

“Who do you think? Carm! Why wasn’t it you who told me?” 

“You’re supposed to be with your dad tonight, I didn’t want to be a bother,” you shrugged, hearing your name being called. “Anyways, I have to go I’m being called in, love you-”

“We need to talk about this-” 

Beep beep beep. 

You hung up. 

---------------------------

After a painful 30 minute talk with a doctor, she told you that you’d be fine in 4 weeks. She bandaged you up and gave you an antibiotic, in case it became infected. Waiting for you outside was Sydney, with a very mad look on her face. 

“You should’ve called me,” she sighed, taking your not-injured hand. 

“I didn’t want to ruin the one night you had off,” you shrugged, walking out to your car with her beside you. “Plus, it’s not like it’s the first or last time I’ve been burnt, right?”

“Was that supposed to be reassuring?”

“Maybe?” you chuckled. “Look, I’m fine! They bandaged me up and I have antibiotics in case it gets infected, plus I can hold this over Carmy’s head until either of us does something worse.”

“It might get infected?” she questioned and you rolled your eyes. 

“Only if I get lazy with changing the bandage,” you sassed back. 

“Oh, so you’ll get an infection then, great!” She sighed, getting into the driver’s seat. 

“Syd, stop being mean, I’ve been through enough tonight,” you deflated. “Let’s just go home.”

Sydney started the car, driving out of the hospital with your hand in hers.

“I’m sorry, I just worry sometimes…” she muttered. 

“It’s alright,” you nodded, then brought her hand up to your mouth, where you kissed it.

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the bear masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games :)

[sakuradeservedbetter91]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Hi, Anon!!! What a lovely surprise to see this 🥹

After much deliberation—here are five of my favorite fics plus honorable mentions because anyone who knows me knows I hate deciding 😂

1. Red Ribbon of Fate—T, Shisaku, complete, “Shisui and Sakura's love story begins with a red ribbon.”

This one I had so much fun writing because it was just based off the silly idea that Shisui’s hair gets too long, and he holds his hair back from his eyes with a red ribbon. This idea was formed in the Sakura Haruno server, and it just was so sweet and I loved every second of it 🥰

2. Stealing His Shirt Has Never Felt So Good—E, KankuSaku, complete, “Sakura keeps her boyfriend's shirt before he leaves to train. Boyfriend comes back, she's a bit of a brat, and he punishes her with a ton of orgasms.”

I have no explanation for this fic except for the fact that I saw some amazing horny art of Kankuro, proceeded to obsess over said art and write this fic for 9 months, and well, yeah. Here we are 😂

3. Not Yet—E, KakaSaku complete, “Sakura appreciates Kakashi wanting to properly woo her, but they’re together. She’s tired of waiting. And now, she’s going to go get her man to fuck her.”

This was actually my first smut I wrote for KakaSaku, and I remember writing this and screaming as I wrote because it was so filthy. But it was a good time, and damn, I need to write more of them agains soon 👀

4. fantasies can come true—E, AsuIno, complete, “Ino successfully seduces her former teacher, and she may be in for more than she bargained for, not that she'd ever complain.”

I’d been telling myself forever that I’d write a fic for these two, and then I finally did it, and it was so fun! Definitely am going to write more for them, and also the other ships for Ino I recently realized were super fun 🥰

5. oh captain—E, ShiSaku, complete, “Sakura and Shisui avoid their duties aboard ship to have a little rendezvous below deck.”

This is one of my more recent ShiSaku fics i did for ShiSaku week in June this year, and I had so much fun with the prompt, because it was pirates and of course I had to make it sexy. I also just really loved every other prompt I did for the week (I did one for every day bc I am crazy), and I just love writing this pair so much 🥹🥰

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

hey cowboy with that look in your eyes—E, ShiSaku, WIP, sexy, smutty pirates which I’ve been brain rotting over for weeks

the bird and the worm—E, KakaSaku, complete, CRACK, literally was challenged by Tipsy to use some bad smut words in smut and so I did 🤣

[star-lights-up]

we also went to two really neat museums for that unit (it did involve a two hour bus ride there and back tho, my state is like three hours across for some reason) and the reading we had to do was amazing. i wish that more people in english classes cared about what we're covering but that's wishful thinking

it's called the play that goes wrong! it was so soso good, like all of the actors were popping off, and there was one that i remember still, like he was doing god's work with that role (and he was cute). that play semi inspired a cherik idea i'm gonna be honest (stagehand/head tech person erik falls in love with lead actor charles throughout play/musical shenanigans), i love theater aus and i need to get back into my school's drama club

i'm also taking geometry over the summer, but the class doesn't start until like a week into june (which sucks bc i have a college visit that week and i'm getting my wisdom teeth out)

also i'm getting slowly pulled into two more marvel ships so my brain is just jampacked with ideas rn

-🧲

That's so cool!!!!

oh my god. i know english classes are like the wild west. We did a mock trial about 1984 in class today AND LITERALLY. EVERYONE. USED AI TO WRITE THEIR STATEMENTS. One girl who was a witness proceeded to go "wait what's victory gin" when answering questions. after delivering her entire statement.

she was the victory gin manufacturer.

anyways.

OMGGG YESSS!!!! I AM AN ABSOLUTE SUCKER FOR THEATER AUS, WOULD READ THE SHIT OUT OF THAT!!!!!!!!

oh man me too i haven't even done any drama at my school, i've just been doing a cabaret in the city. And that's just like, sing one song go backstage sit read fic, so not exactly a whole production. Still nice to keep my foot in the door though. You should so try and get back involved! I feel like some of the participation in theater stuff has been dwindling since the pandemic sadly. gotta get people back in!

aww man sorry. that sounds like quite a week. I wish you best of luck with your surgery and your college visit! And, actually, i took geometry last year and decided it was the one type of math that i liked, so if you ever do have questions or need any help feel free to ask!

i'm taking my second semester of chemistry over the summer (first one ends in a couple days, probably what i should be working on rn, oops!) it's.... an experience. I like bio better for sure.

LOL THAT'S HOW IT WORKS THE UNIVERSE GETS TO YA! what ships, if you don't mind me asking?

hope you're having a lovely day! Sorry again about my responding delay lol.

[maguneedsalife]

OK so I know it's been FOREVER since we talked BUT I have been watching a stream of someone playing FFXIV from the beginning and then I was also talking to a friend about the story of FFXIV and I thought of you.

I know if I get into FFXIV it will eat my life (and sometimes I consider it) but if I do, how should I start?

Also, what are the best parts of the story and/or gameplay?

(also Aoife is cool, I like her a lot, and I've just been casually following you long enough that she's like... my default WOL, just so you know)

aaa ty for the ask! (and it doesnt feel like forever somehow bc we reblog each other's posts all the time lmao)

anyway this ended up very long so im putting it under a readmore, but aaaaa im so happy you're interested in trying the game!!

ffxiv will absolutely eat your life, but! if you're interested in giving it a try to see if you like it, (deep breath) have you heard about the free trial of the award winning mmo final fantasy fourteen with no restrictions on playtime and content up to level 70 including the heavensward and stormblood expansio--

jokes aside, the free trial is my personal rec for where to start. you can play as most of the available races (viera and hrothgar are locked to shadowbringers unforch, but as part of the story you get an item that you can use to remake your character if you want, so if you decide to buy the game later you can use that to make the bunny or lion of ur dreams). there are some limits on things like buying items off the mb and how much gil/items you can have, but for the most part there's like 200+ hours of content that's just available for FREE. Idk if you have mmo experience, but if xiv would be your first foray into MMOs i would definitely try the trial first to see if you like it! and since stormblood is included in the trial now you can meet my favorite robot beetle without paying a CENT

the other thing to consider is that there is a big expansion coming at the end of June, which will also include a gigantic graphical update for the characters and world. right now the game is doing its best with ps3-early ps4 era graphics, but come june everything will look a lot prettier! (not that it isn't already pretty, but i won't miss the pixelated grass...). They'll also be adding furry lion ladies if that's your thing (though they won't be free to play as; you'll have to buy the full game to make a hot lion). the downside is the new expansion will be a tough time to start with everyone trying to get in for the new story, so I'd say if you want to start, either do it before dawntrail (easy to log in) or end of july (login queues have eased, and you get to see everything in the pretty graphics!)

normally here is where I'd put my "if you want to play around with the character creator, there's a free benchmark program you can download that includes it!" buuuut the dawntrail benchmark has uh, let's just say wip character models, and they're actually working on putting out an update to it sometime in the next couple weeks.... but when that update does come out, it'll be a great way to play around and see what kind of character you want your wol to be!

WHEW. Okay. that's the first part of your question.

Second part of your question - i wont discuss details of the story bc imo it's worth experiencing firsthand, but i think my favorite part about the story is that your little guy is at the center of it. a lot of the wol's narrative is left open to interpretation, and you are free to imagine how your character responds to the plot. every single person who plays this game has a different and valid experience with the same story, simply due to how they envision their character participating in it, and i think that's beautiful. i can't think of a lot else like it out there.

you'll see a lot of people online arguing that some expansions are "skippable" or base game is "skippable" but they're all lying to you. play all the main story. watch all the cutscenes. there's no need to zoom through it. the reason you are crying your eyes out at the end of endwalker is because you have watched your wol grow from the time they were killing level 1 ladybugs in the starting area. some parts might be stronger or weaker than others, but it all comes together to make one of my favorite stories videogames has ever told.

(also, no spoilers, but shadowbringers is still my favorite expansion for a reason. you've probably osmosized a fair bit of it from my posts about it but it's soooo good. it's worth seeing in person.)

also there are some surprisingly good storylines in the "side" content (raids, trials, etc), so it's definitely worth picking up those blue plus quests and seeing what adventures are to be had. not to be biased but the omega storyline is my favorite ("yes ren we KNOW you like the robot beetle"). some are serious (there's one about child soldiers) and some are goofy (in one questline you solve zany mysteries with the world's least competent detective) but all of them have heart, and a little final fantasy corniness.

as for gameplay, its probably obvious that i love the fashion aspect. Gear you obtain can be seen on your character (even jewelry!), and there's a whole system for saving outfits. people joke that glamour is the true endgame but i literally, like an hour ago, cleared a high difficulty raid because i wanted a specific shirt. So obviously the dressup aspect is a main draw for me gameplay wise.

but other than that, one of the game's strengths is there's something for everyone. if you want to be the sweatiest raider and optimize your rotation and get BiS and clear ultimates, you can, but it's not the only way to enjoy the game. i have friends who enjoy just dinking around in roulettes, friends who love to fish, friends who roleplay, friends who organize rare monster kill trains, and friends who spend a ton of time on minigames in the casino. that's just scratching the surface. there's so much to do!

anyway, whew, i think that maybe answered your question? or maybe you now have more of them?

i am always available here and on discord to answer questions and help you get started in eorzea :3 ty again for the ask!!!

and aaaaaaaaaa hearing that you like aoife makes me so happy 😭

[chevvy-ryder]

MY CHARACTERS — THEN AND NOW

hopping onto the hype train and doing this too since this is a rather chill thing to do than having to think intensely about lore. But since I'm always so bad at deciding just for two pics, I'm going to make it three — but Vijay gets the ps4 bonus since his origin is from console. So lets start this!

VIJAY STEYR

Vijay got the privilege to be my first V and he exists since end of 2020 but I didn't take any pics until 2021 of him. Back then I loved taking pics on my ps4 but I hated it so so so so much you weren't able to turn it into 90° — it was a pain for me to tae portait pics. Bc of the crisis back then I somehow stopped playing games (+ consuming social media for nearly 2 years) so, PS4 Vijay never made it trough the game. I started with him dark blonde but changed him to be a ginger when I picked him up again in June 2022 and found my way back to fandom so I wanted to post my boy.

vijay_first_shot_JAN17_2021_PS4pro.file vijay_second_shot_AUG04_2022_PS4pro.file vijay_most_recent_shot_AUG08_2022_PS4pro.file

He got warmly accepted even though he was just a smudgy PS4 cinnamon roll, but I was frustrated he couldn't have clothes I wanted him to have (fishnet shirt, my beloved), so I bought myself a gaming laptop real quick and recreated him exactly as he was on PS4 but added a few things as soon as I knew how to use mods and amm (took me about two weeks bc I learn fast) that disturbed me (red nose), so I gave him better skin and all the clothes he should have. Now he's got a new hairstyle too but aside of that didn't change.

vijay_first_shot_AUG27_2022_RB17.file vijay_second_shot_AUG30_2022_RB17.file vijay_most_recent_shot_MAY17_2022_RB17.file

RYDER VON SCHARFENBERG

My most precious boy had the privilege to get built with pc version already, otherwise he would have looked totally different. Like V, Ryder didn't change much afterwards. You only spot details I exchanged and these are minor. He got another skin tone, his nails are now pointy and he's got sharp teeth, thats it. When I create a character I'm not gonna change them afterwards. If they are not perfect right from the start, I won't create them. And visually Ryder was a perfect creation right from the start — he embodies my favorite style — but I'm honest, I had mixed feelings about him at first. The way he looked at me through the screen told me that he's a difficult one. Didn't know if I'd like him and if he's only to stay a side character or not, just the ex-boyfriend. But it took a journey I never thought I was able to produce for him. And somewhere along the process I fell in endless love with him — not even a full year has passed since his creation.

ryder_first_shot_SEP17_2022_RB17.file ryder_second_shot_SEP30_2022_RB17.file ryder_most_recent_shot_MUN26_2023_RB17.file

THYJS DE WIT

Okay listen, I did take pics of him right after I created him but I was not satisfied with the 'scars' on his face, the lip make up and he also had dark grey hair and the vanilla hair (I use for Jay now) at first but it was too dark, so I changed it immediately afterwards. I know some people seeing this first on the left now might scream "ooooh but he looked badass!" — I get that, but this look was drifting off way too much into the direction where Ryder is (and like I said - my fav style) but I wanted a soldier with albinism and not a second guy who would be falsely misinterpreted as another cyber goth guy like it happened with Ryder. So I gave him the silver hair and style and changed the lips to pale rosé, took another shot saw the scars needed to be different as well and now Thyjs looks like he is now. It's funny what only hair and lip color can make for a difference. I doubt I'll ever change something on him either except for a different hairstyle maybe. I thought about trying out the new KS Atlas body on him though but if the tummy cyberware doesn't work with it this will not change.

thyjs_first_shot_FEB18_2023_RB17.file thyjs_second_shot_FEB18_2023_RB17.file thyjs_most_recent_shot_JUN27_2023_RB17.file

JAYSEN STEYR

had the luck I was already fluent in everything vp after warming up, so there's not a single change to see except I started using raytracing shortly after I created him. He's basically a copy of Vijay and got everything I'd have wanted Vijay to be in the first place, but went a different way I didn't wanna change. I did not create Jay because of that, though, Jay came to be because of story plotting. he won't change either, except his tattoos one day (not the glowing things).

jaysen_first_shot_MAR26_2023_RB17.file thyjs_second_shot_APR30_2023_RB17.file jaysen_most_recent_shot_JUL09_2023_RB17.file

—

so the result of this for me personally when I look at the quality changes is I just had to warm up with using windows things (as I'm an apple user due to my job), get fond of amm, poses, using light and push the ray tracing button to get to the level I'm now. that why my quality got so good so fast. Just needed to get into virtual photography is all. Maybe I got better at sth but I do not notice it and I honestly do not care, I just do what I like still not holding much of myself and my art. Its a hobby that keeps me busy.

But I'm also glad my oc's didn't change much, only right after their creation I changed something bc pics showed me it was not what I pictured. And the rest is only minor cosmetic changes. So I think I always go in with a preceise concept, a plan I have made before I start the cc. I remember I scanned entire nexus mods 2 days before creating Ryder, picking out everything I could imagine, even his wardrobe, then built an imagine in my head and only started once my imagination was ready.

[takeyours11]

Chapter 1

June

My three year old self is screaming. I mean how she wanted (and still wants) to be a princess and a fairy at the same time is still strong. I would stay up all night watching Disney princesses movies and all the other movies until my dad would drag me to bed. But once the live action Cinderella came out my head of dreams exploded. I wanted to be her so bad that I begged my mom to make her ball gown. Lily James did a very good job at the role and all other live action movies suck minus the Lion King. But as my mom is she didn’t budge, even after I cried for a week after she said no. Her explanation is that she isn’t really good at sewing (even though she did most of mine and my older brother's Halloween costumes and pow wow regalia). She also mentioned the fact I might look like an angry bird at the end of the day. Now that's why I couldn’t get the princess ball gown of my dreams. But they did happen to promise me to find my dream dress once I found it. Now why is my childhood self screaming for joy? Well it has to deal with my dad's side of the family.

I have a confusing and interesting family which would take a while to explain so I will start with my dad. My dad is the second oldest out of his four siblings. He is also a part of a set of identical twins, he is also the youngest out of him and his identical twin brother my Uncle Keegan. My dad has been no contact with them since I was like six. But for some strange reason we are spending most of our summer with them. Strange, right?

“Holy shit,” I say breathlessly as I look up at the British royal palace. I always wondered what it looked like in person instead of on the TV. I mean it looks the same and big. I have always looked at photos on google and or on the website they have officially made.

“What she said,” Arthur says, agreeing with me for once in his life. Having an older brother sucks. I mean ya sometimes it’s fun but the rest is arguments and annoying. Arthur on the other hand exceeds the expectation.

“I keep on forgetting that you were rich at one point,” I say to Dad. Our dad was raised rich… I feel like that’s the wrong word to use in this situation? Okay… I have it now… our dad is the backup heir to the British empire. That really wasn’t one word. You would think that if one of the royal children decided to leave the family he would be set for life. Nope, here’s the thing our parents had us young. Like college young: they had Arthur in mom’s first year and dad’s second year…? (It gets kind of confusing after a while of explaining it). But after they had Arthur they planned on co-parenting, which failed and caused my birth. My parents weren’t meant to be tougher, I mean my mom came from the south from a lower class-ish Native American and Purtorican family and my dad came from the other end of the spectrum of social class. White, British, and with a silver spoon in his mouth.

My dad jokes that if he didn’t decide that he was done with the British bullshit we would have never been born. Which is true, he went to BC (one of the best colleges for athletes) and my mom went and is now a professor at BU (which is one of the best colleges for anything STEM related and or politics). They met at a college party where both of their new friends dragged them too. After a couple of drinks they had a hook cup which led to Arthur being conceived. He was soon born in July and they would be two people living in a three bedroom two bath apartment in Boston. Because my mom, like any strong woman, didn't like the idea of being a college dropout because of a stupid and dumb boy's dream of being a good rugby player.

“I mean I don’t blame you,” Mom says under her breath as the SUV comes to a stop in front of the little driveway. Seeing my grandparents standing there with their staff that help run this place. Seeing my dad roll his eyes as I quickly unbuckle and open the door to hug my grandparents.

“O how I missed you,” Grandma Elenor tells me as I try to get freed from her powerful grip. She isn’t like any other royal family member. She actually gets why we want to live the life we do. She herself was raised lower/ middle class. Well I mean if you count out the fact her family still owns their family castle which they lived in for generations out of the equation. Her dad, my Ducky, runs a pub both in Scotland and in London (for the only reason his daughter missed him) and has a farm on the family land. Which is very very big. I mean they have a stone circle in the backyard. But she did wear her brother's hand-me -downs, went to a catholic private school just because her dad knows the headmaster, and learned the value in life.

“Mom, can you let her breathe,” Dad says to his mother as he gets out of the car.

“Well this is what happens when you deprive me of my grandchildren,” she tells him as she moves onto Arthur who isn’t big on physical effection.

“Hello your royal highness,” I say bowing to my Grandpa Emmet who isn’t amused by my joke.

“Hello My little Loch Ness monster,” he tells me back, making me smile and giving me a hug.

“You saw them at June’s graduation,”Mom reminded them as she helps her husband out with the bags. That’s right, I am an official high school graduate of the class of 2024. It’s been a long run: first COVID, then my anxiety problems, friendship break ups, and a lot of essay writing. I am now an “adult”, which is so weird to say now. I mean the amount of flashbacks I have had is weird. It feels like I was five yesterday instead of twelve years ago.

“Why does this feel weird?” Arthur asks either to himself or everyone.

“Because you have seen us in normal clothing,” Grandma Elenor explains and that’s very true. We have seen our grandparents in clothes that you would never catch them in. Sweats, jeans, sweatshirts, and sometimes their pjs. They never really stood up to the standard when they were around us.

“Also because we came to you and not the other way around,” she adds, making another point. After I turned seven a few changes had happened: we weren’t allowed to fly to the UK to visit my dad’s side of the family anymore. Most of the time we called but my grandparents preferred to see us in person so they made the long flight to Massachusetts. My dad has also asked the president of the United States and the mayor of Massachusetts at the time if he could block any photographers from taking pictures of us. He didn’t care if he was in it; he only cared for the protection of me, Arthur and Mom. He basically turned into every middle class dad who works to make his kids have a better life.

“Also next time when you show up to my graduation make sure the cameras don’t follow,” I ask the both of them. That was the only damper on that day and the little side remarks on how the British royal family showed up. It was a surprise to the rest of my classmates when they noticed that they were there for me. It was a little embarrassing since I kind of don’t like attention. Which is hard when you're dyslexic with a chronic illness. Why o why was I born this way?

“We can try,” Grandpa Emmet answers. “But we promise nothing,” he adds as I roll my eyes.

…

I’m related to the British royal family, and it isn’t really as interesting than people think. One thing is that people think that they are always perfect but no once those halls are empty they tend to do whatever they want. And when I mean whatever I mean whatever. I mean my grandmother managed to convert all the rooms in this house to feel cozy, she didn’t care about the tradition her husband’s family had. But my grandfather being the king and the whole Round table against the idea she just did it to her kids rooms and hers. They all find the rules annoying but they are there for a reason hence why they never go against it besides my dad.

“Why do I have a giant ass bathroom?” I ask Dad as I lay on his childhood bed that is a king xl.

“You don’t like it?” He asks me,

“I like it,” I tell him truthfully. I mean who doesn't love a good luxury bathroom that is twice the size as the bedroom, clean, with gold furnishing, a nice bathtub that has its own little raised island, and don’t get me started with the walk in shower with a polished white marble bench. The toilet has its own little bathroom and the sink is big with too many gores. “But it is a little overwhelming,” I add.

“Everything about my family is overwhelming.” he reminds me as she unpacks his and Moms clothes. Then something catches me by the corner of my eye, picture frames next to his bed. Most of them are with his mother and father, his siblings, and then the rest are with people I have never met besides Archie.

“Who is she?” I ask, grabbing the picture of the woman who has pretty dark brown hair and blue eyes.

“Molly Finch,” he tells me with a smile.

“Did you date her?” I start as the questions roll into my mind. “Or was she like a one night stand you never forgot about?” I ask and hear him choke on something.

“What, no!” He grabbed it from my hands. “She’s a friends from school,” he answers, putting it back in its place.

“Who had a secret lover?” Mom asks to walk in.

“No one,” Dad tells her as he gives her a peck on the lips as I give a gage.

…

Grandma Elenor wanted to have a family dinner tonight since technically the whole family is here. But that kind of went down the drain since everyone decided they are not a family anymore.

“I’m not eat food made by him,” Leonora says in a discussion. Leonora and Alderic are the younger and the second set of twins my grandparents manage to give life too.

“Well last time I checked my brother can cook better than your boyfriend downstairs,” Isla says adding in her opinion as my dad walks in with a plate of skin on chicken thighs that have been perfectly seasoned and fried. When the fuck did Leonora get a boyfriend? I mean I’m not surprised she really is pretty but her attitude is not the same.

“Why are you dating the cook?” Uncle Keegan asks.

“None of your business,” she snaps back at him as she pouts.

“Stop pouting at the dinner table,” Grandpa Emmet tells her as he looks at his work.

“But Daddy!?” She says as Grandpa Emmet looks up from his work to give her a straight stair. As I look over his work to see he’s working on his next adventure.

My Grandpa Emmet is a man of wonder: he’s the king of a nation, a great husband, an amazing father, an amazing grandfather, and an adventurer. He likes to say historian but he’s basically Scrooge McDuck just in human form. It looks like he’s trying to find…?

“No work at the table,” Grandma Elenor tells him. “Especially work that intrigues our grandchildren,” she asks, closing the leather folder with his initials pressed into it before I could read it.

“Can we eat now?” I ask her.

“Big back,” Arthur fakes coughs and then gets slapped in the back of the head by Mom.

“What!?” He asks pretending to not know what he just did.

So why is Arthur trying to ruin my summer? Well that has to deal with the fact he and my… best friend are dating. They’ve technically been dating since mine and Rosie’s junior year of Highschool. Somehow they ran into each other at a party and hooked up. After that hook up came more up until I found them in my room having sex. Ya, I slept on the floor for two weeks even after my mom double washed my sheets. So they kept it a secret because they thought I would overreact. But then throughout the year Rosie was ditching me for my brother and his friends leaving me alone. She also had gotten an whole new friend group and just forget about me. So for the past year I have been trying to make lasting relationships in a short time. I did with my tutor Oscar, I’m not really good at it. So halfway through senior year I started to just distance myself from Rosie. She noticed towards the end since I said I couldn’t make it to her birthday in April. She showed up at my house and started an argument calling me some pretty nasty things and left more pissed off. Now Arthur is mad at me for hurting his girlfriend's feelings. So now I’m stuck with the bad guy because I told her how I really felt.

“You shouldn’t be the one talking,” I tell him.

“Why?” Arthur asks.

“Because last time I checked

“I do not have a big four head

God, this summer is going to suck.

[mostlymalena]

June 1st 2025 11:28pm

hey, dog with a blog here.

Just got back from a soggy run. It is the first day of pride today and it was so fun! It was at hi-wire and I had a blast. After Ethan and I went to see Macbeth because we have some friends in it and it started raining during the second act so we had to leave. A little rain does not stop my nightly walks/runs.

Wow is there a lot to catch up on!! I have like 3 videos to upload too and have been sooooo lazy.

Let's get a couple things out of the way. I was being really silly and nice on my stupid instagram story but this is the blog. Let's start with the very obvious and highly anticipated subject. My ex.

Oh boy. What I thought was left on an amicable civil note has clearly been one sided thinking (I am at fault). Let me remind you of this incident:

This was AFTER the whole lets sneak behind people's back and hookup in her car a bunch and yada yada old g+m stuff. I thought we left of good but she started talking shit again (old news same cycle) and I was like oh shit okay!!! But she still tried to say hi to bay and dani??? Idk I was like girl. I also had texted her some song I knew she would like and she didnt answer me so all this kinda gave me the clue that I was not in her favor again. This happens, and often. So duh. Nothing has been brought up since and she has avoided me and spat upon my name. Cursed it! Hexed it! My name is a disease she can not bleed her self enough from.

Now. The delish part. I get the amazing announcement that she is moving. I thought, honestly, that I would feel sad. Ive said this before but Grace was my first love, not sure if I was hers but we have a connection that quite frankly will always be there. Does that mean we will ever get along or speak again: no. But I have a lot to be grateful for about. So when I heard she was moving I was almost upset that I felt relief. This was also a week or two after Grace hard launched her new girlfriend who is also her roommate. NOW. NOW.... I don't give a fuck that G has a gf. It was just very shocking that it was the roommate. Not only is it just not expected by anyone but they just never ever gave off tension or vibes or whatever. Idk I was just shocked. Grace also decided to hard launch this new thing with a feed pic of her new boo's ass. Look I love a great ass pic but MY PERSONAL PREFERENCE would not be that. If my partner hard launched me to a picture I would usually nut to, I would be pissed. whatever thats their thing but you wanna be public then imma have a public opinion idk. The best thing about your roommate is not her ass anyways.

Reminds me of this girl who asked Jo at work if Grace and I were still together and when Jo said no the girl said "Thank god Malena is way to hot for that". I have heard this a lot (more when I was with her) and it always offended me. I think grace is one of the most attractive people I have ever met but thats because we were insanely in love and that does weird things to people's brain stems and stuff. Still!! I say this to say they do not make sense to me, not that it matters ofc but you look at them and a little question mark might appear above your head. Idk I don't have a solid thought about it bc who fucking cares but boy am I stumped lmao

It feels like walking on eggshells living in the same town as her. Not in a bad way but more in a way where I am really not sure if today is the day I wake up and she feels favorable towards me again. I think the part she hates most about me is that her feelings always change. If I could fix that I would. Thats the whole problem with me btw; I have more pity than love for her. I was always trying to save her from everything but in the wrong way. Anyways.

I have her blocked btw. I posted on lore a meme of chains breaking that says my ex is moving. Dumb, yeah I know thats the whole point lmao. Oh and moving where you might wonder??? PHILLY. WITH THE ROOMIE TURNED LOVER. Nothing like fucking your best friend and then moving together to a new city with 0 community 0 friends 0 family 0 familiarity oh and on a huge whim! That deffff wont bite anyone in the ass. Very smart. Very thoughtful. Very on brand. Very. On. Brand.

The gang goes out Friday. I drink, stay with me here, 3 bootleggers. They were actually 4 loko pre-gamers (14%) but no one calls them that. A new flavor dropped called "Galactic Sour Punch". Boy was I not on planet earth after those mother fuckers.

I mean, I was fucked up lmao. I'm walking out of husk, Grace and Roomie turned Lover are walking in.

I'm going to be mean but there is righteous cause. Just let it round itself out!

I take one look at them and say "Gross". Now. I know I was disrespectful, I know I was out of place, I know I was wrong.

Imagine a beautiful goddess is walking towards you, the very rays that beam from the sun bend to her will. Flowers sigh when she talks.

Now imagine behind her lurks what you could mistake for an ill victorian shadow. A 360p video of slenderman.

Now your mind has to force itself to remember that they rub minge.

My reaction was unnecessary and rude but it was also very valid.

Now this is where it rounds its self out. Ive known G for 5 years. I know when she is doing good and when she isnt. I'm not going to assume I know what her life is like but she looks sad and tired. She looks bad. Pretty but off. Something is just not there. Last time we spoke was in March after she did some fuck shit to me at bluepost and she was working a job she loved and saving up to move to Philly in a year or somewhere else her other friend might go.

and you know what there is a chance I just don't know this version of her. That is a huge possibility, idk if she changed her whole life or whatever but if she is happy, she is happy. Not my worry any more.

I did get a little spotlight on roomies story.

First - she looks so pretty. Like ATE.

Tbh you guys are not really on my mind too much, I think it was a reasonable amount of time (like maybe a day and a half when the hard launch happened bc whoa). and this is the first I'm writing about it and I did talk about it on a video update (about the ass pic). Idk where the three times came from but they could be mistaking posts made about other people. I'll start tagging you guys so you know which one's are you. Also I am surprised. Jordan's skin of all skins was not one I ever expected to get under. Like hello it's me. It's a Tumblr blog. I did not reach out, didnt post about you two, did not talk shit about your rent turned romance.

EDIT: i DID mention it before on the blog!!! You cannot be fucking serious bruh LMAO. Do they realize how on brand for a cancer it is to be upset about this Channel 7 Weather Update ass take on their relationship is. LMAO. Still not three times lmao.

The ONLY thing that upset me was the "die in this town<3"

I love this town. I love the people. My family is here. It was a little offensive because it seems like misplaced hate and anger. I'm glad you two are moving to #philly but it's not an insult to hope I never leave and die here. My family lives here and not only that but I am extremely well traveled. I literally just got back from a 3 month trip. Wilmington is not a bad place to live just because you never found proper foot holding and have bad memories you cannot overcome. That attitude follows you regardless of whatever city you decide to ooze into next. I left Wilmington, ive lived many other places, I would not be mad if I stayed here. It will be very hard to leave.

It's not an insult to belong somewhere. It's telling that you cannot hold the proper gratitude for a town that allowed you to meet your future ex-girlfriend. Kidding (not lmao)

Die in this town is juvenile and up until that I had a lot of respect and regarded Jordan as a person with intellect.

Anyways, I give it to maybe Christmas?

Honestly that all I have in me tonight - I wanna watch one piece and go to sleep. I'm finishing up some books so I'll have more time to write.

love and peace - Philly strong - and I typed this with my paws.

[matthewsturnioloo]

there's this guy i met on a dating app back in the june,then we started talking and like got to know each other better,he called me nicknames and made me really happy but we lived far away,so it was long distance,but we agreed we don't wanna be nothing more than fwb what soever cause we weren't ready for a relationship,and it was all okay..we txt every night..until one time he stopped txt me..and I did too. but he was waititng for me to tell him if im up for meet up and fwb cause he didn't wanna force me into something i don't want. then. at the 4th of july after some days of not txt i texted first,telling him no to our fwb thing and shit BC he wasn't serious and he said its bc he saw that our situationship was going more towards the way to relationship and yeah. then we agreed to stop contact and we did it on 4th of july. then HE BLOCKED ME. i deleted the app and just like i really liked him so i was sad. but all the time we weren't talking i was thinking about him anf just couldn't get him out of my head for some reason. so today i decided to download the app again after 2 months and see that he UNBLOCKED ME AND VISITED MY ACC SEPTEMBER 7TH which was like 3 weeks ago. and now i wanna txt him again since he unblocked me and visied my acc but idk how and what. im scared but i really wanna try again. and like rn minutes ago his FRIEND HIT ME UP FIRST and i was being dry cause i don't feel him sorry and the second we stopped txt THAT BOY VIEWED MY ACC. LIKE IM FREAKING OUT RN.☹️

-lili🧸 (sorry to rant but i had to)

Ugh Lili that’s so confusing 😭 I’m sorry babe did you talk to him?? (Sorry it took me a long time I was at my sisters thing)

[faerociousbeast]

hell list starting october 2023

- i make funny homestuck blog

- sister attempts to kill herself 3 days before her 12th birthday

- server is made for funny homestuck blogs

- there is naturally the hell that comes with putting homestucks in the same general area and i have to handle most of it

- parents decide they want to divorce and also decide they will not talk to each other and use me and my sister as messengers like to the point of calling me in class to go "hey your dad _" or "tell your mom _"

- since mom cooks and dad buys groceries and mom makes the lists this ends up translating to us having no food in the house since they refuse to talk to each other

- i am Ill™ and am constantly missing class for blood tests and to go to the hospital whatnot

- i start failing my math class

- the school somehow finds out about the situation despite me never telling anyone and they give me food but the walk from the office back to my locker shamed me so fucking bad i still feel ill thinking about it

- theres peanutbutter jelly and bread in there and i form an addiction kanaya calls it a comfort food but idk

- parents ultimately decide not to divorce but this does mean the arguing and everything is back

- they are now focused on being disappointed in me for doing bad in my math class

- shit happens on new years which is personal enoguh somehow more than all of this but it makes me feel sick and i spend the first days of the year trying not to throw up

- they find a knife in my sisters school backpack

- second semester starts and i am unable to get back on the grind bc im mentally fucked and unable to process it

- still having hospital visits and shit

- im pretty sure more stuff happens but i genuinely cant remember anything from february-june

- there is some. personal drama though that keeps happening no matter how many times we discuss it and i say i dont like it so i fairly consistently feel ill

- my only surviving grandma (dads mom) and grandpa (moms dad) are both in the hospital

- dad goes to home country to visit them and then the Political Situation starts while he is there (#bangladesh)

- we lose contact with him for almost 2 weeks

- he comes back

- i go to america to visit my partner

- parents find out that was not just a friend but my partner and that therefore i am queer

- plane rides delay for like a whole day so im jsut stuck in the airport with very pissed off parents for many more hours

- my theatre job starts its basically a 9-5

- my parents drop the bombshell that next year after me and my sister graduate we are moving back to our home country

- weve never lived there before i dont know anything or anyone or how to read or write our native language and they want me to find a university somehow and suddenly drop everything at 18 and become independent there and im just fucking freaking out except i Cant freak out because i still have to keep my grades up for senior year and my parents keep Hinting at a Talk about me being queer and lying to them but i just. idk

[johannacantsing]

six sentence sunday-30 june 2024

i finsihed both of my tefl essays for the module i'm on this week and i finally finished chapter 11 of my first novel (see below) and now we're finally at the ~*mall*~ which is great bc 1 it's so funny 2 the plot and character development is fun 3 it's almost completely finished already which is amazing and makes me feel like the story just got a springboard underneath and jump forward which is really nice bc i've been working hard for a little over a year on this and since i'm working on my tefl and learning korean and shit so i've been writing and progressing less in the past six months compared the the eight months before i decided to do that :p

although i still need to figure out how exactly to get to the next big plot point after they leave the mall :p probably being fucking stupid bc that's why most plot points happen tbh. we'll see

lol noah's not going to the hospital after the mall-sorry dude, although i guess i'll probably put him getting his finger stump looked at when they have to take tommy so it's probably all good, little guy

Uncle Viktor’s skin rippled from the bloodworms moving underneath. He slumped over and his body was twitching and jerking. His labored breathing grew quieter. 

I didn’t want to watch Uncle Viktor die in front of me, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t leave him to die alone horrifically. If I went over to him, the bloodworms would get me too. There was nothing I could do. My second favorite uncle was being ripped apart from the inside out right in front of me. I had to just stand there.

[honeybittersweet]

I HAVE NEWSSSSS (gossip about my life if you will)

Okey so yall don't know shit about this but last year I had A LOT of drama going on and all of that ended up with me finally deciding to cut off ties with a friend, because of a lot of mistreatment towards me, mixed signals, and feeling deeply hurt.

We went our separate ways in September of last year, we study the same degree so we have the same classes and all, anyways, when vacations started in November I didn't see her again until March when we went back to college. The first week even the mere thought of seeing her in class made me wanna throw up. It made anxious, my body was trembling, my hands got sweaty, my heart pounded way too fast, my brain got dizzy, there was a knot in my stomach and looking at her made my heart hurt, and tbh the list could go on and on and on. So the second day I felt this when I saw her, I instantly texted TWO psychologists and signed up at the gym, bc I wasn't going to let her have this power over my emotions and body reactions.

Ofc eventually I gave up the gym thing bc I didn't have time for it, but I kept going to the psychologist I had chosen. I talked about her a lot til I didn't have anything else to say. There were up and downs during those times when I would relapse into justifying her actions and feel sorry for her, but then again I'd remind me of my worth and focus again on myself.

I was scared of when I would have to talk to her again eventually bc we do a lot of group activities and sometimes they're selected by professors. I was scared of how my body and my heart would react. Today was the day and it was amazing.

I felt nothing. I was comfortable in my own skin, my voice didn't shake, I could hold the stare. It was amazing. I didn't even bat an eye at her voice, I didn't care about how she looked, or how she talked to me. It was like talking to any other classmate, it felt so good.

I'm so happy bc finally I'm at the other side of the process, I've healed so much since last June when everything happened and changed so much since March. God, I know past me would be so proud and content of finally being free of that constant anxiety she made me feel. I'm so happy.

[carrionkid]

Abbreviated timeline of my absolute hell on earth experience:

APRIL 2022:

had my first antibiotic resistant infection

(UTI that survived 2 rounds of antibiotics)

JULY 2022:

develop skin infection on my arm

topical antibiotics didn't work

oral antibiotics also didn't work

had to get it surgically fucking drained

given more antibiotics

kept refilling with pus

had to get it drained and irrigated AGAIN

AUGUST 2022:

second abscess showed up on my leg

given another course of antibiotics

ankle swelled up uncontrollably

weird joint pain all thru my legs

went to Canada on world's worse family reunion bc my grandma turned 100 and everyone thought I was literally dying

doctor gave me emergency visit for abscssses

swabbed for MRSA (no MRSA)

had 7 vials of blood taken between both of my arms for blood cultures

blood cultures negative

doctor has no idea what's up

-blood panel just says I have an infection

surgical site on arm finally stops oozing

tested for leukemia and lymphoma (for the first time) (negative)

SEPTEMBER 2022:

STILL have the spot on my leg, waiting for body to reabsorb it

month 3 of keeping my arm and leg dressed every day to avoid infection coming back

asked to give more blood to see if I still show signs of infection (I do)

piercing infected suddenly so I had to remove it

(no concrete timeline between these 2 dates but just know I was constantly fighting for my life with random open sores)

FEBRUARY 2023:

lost a total of 25 pounds since the start of this all

cut my hair off bc it was literally falling out by the fist full

got tested for cancer AGAIN (negative, still)

blood work was so bad I got 2 voice mails left for me by the hematology department

they decided I was anemic and had an eating disorder (????) despite all of this history in my chart

got a CT scan on the 28th

MARCH 2023:

got called the literal day after my scan and told to go to the hospital asap

10cm abscess in my pelvic cavity

5 days in the hospital

3 different IV antibiotics

blood draws every 4 hours

got an iron infusion

APRIL 2023:

bloodwork looks good

told to get another CT scan to make sure it's cleared up

started gaining weight back (yippee!)

hair stopped falling out (double yippee!)

MAY 2023:

CT scan shows a second abscess on my left side now, almost 4cm

can't be drained bc it's between blood vessels

have to see a gastroenterologist bc they think my intestines are wearing through and that's what's causing this

get put on antibiotics to try and do maintenance on the second cyst so it doesn't get into my bloodstream

basically just trying not to die before they figure it out

have to get colonoscopy and upper endoscopy in June

in my rot girl summer era because my innards are rotting

JUNE 2023:

got the upper endoscopy and colonoscopy

they took some biopsies but didn't find anything wrong with me

intestines aren't leaking at least

fatigue is coming baaaaack

weight is holding steady at least

JULY 2023:

more blood work (including blood cultures again)

CT scan on 7/22

the left side abscess is gone BUT there's another one on my right side now

got ultrasound on 7/26

gonna get scheduled for a consult with a surgeon

AUGUST 2023:

ongoing rotting

sleeping for 12 hours a day

finished last course of antibiotics

had consult with surgeon and decided to go scorched earth with a hysto

SEPTEMBER 2023:

CT scan showed the infection seemed to be gone finally

BUT there was a 3cm mass of inflamed/scar tissue on my right side

on wait list and cancellation list for surgery

OCTOBER 2023:

called on the 16th asking if I could be in for surgery on the 23rd

had like 3 appointments crammed into the same week

fought for my life to get last minute surgical leave approved

went in for surgery on the 23rd (yippee!)

surgery was supposed to be about 2/3 hours. It took 5 hours.

they called in general surgery to make sure I wouldn't need my bowels resectioned

they spent most of that time scraping scar tissue off my organs.

they sent literally EVERYTHING to pathology

My bruises continue to be ucky yucky but not too sore. I'm going to my one week follow-up tomorrow so we'll see what they have to say. Hopefully some news from pathology bc they sent literally EVERYTHING they removed, not just biopsies of the tissue

[frogl3gs]

here’s a breakdown of my breakdown and my former company’s marketing department breakdown. (this is for myself for future reference if i ever question why i left bc I’m scared of new things sometimes and romanticize past things) - me telling my boss i’m overwhelmed every month since july 22.  - my boss and I having an offsite meeting in oct 22 where she asks me if I’m “really in this” and that she will only help me if i’m “really in this.” a bee lands in my cup. i acquiesce and say i’m “really in this.” - my boss, is and has been, really shitty towards all of us (june 22-nov 22) and i’m afraid the whole department is going to quit and so I call her bosses, the ceo and the president (because if i’m “really in this” then i’m going to do it the “right way”) and say “if this doesn’t change everyone is going to quit and you won’t have a department anymore.” - i take a week off for thanksgiving and can’t get out of bed. decide to also take a week off in between christmas and new year’s. - i get called in during PTO on dec 28, 22 for a very important meeting* that is then cancelled 5 mins before it starts. - i am also not very good at getting out of bed this week either. - i get a new job description and a new report on jan 1, 23, except there isn’t really a job description just my boss telling me once exactly what she wants me doing which was this sentence, “own the leads.”  - my one report is on a vacation and the brand team utterly falls apart because they are running a brand awareness campaign with a digital component that is meant to drive interest but they have not thought about funneling that interest literally....anywhere and I must create a whole upper funnel marketing program by myself in the span of two weeks.   - i hire another report to help out with the leads but a person gets hired to the general marketing team (and reports to my boss) and I am responsible for training them so I spend over 40 hours training them and then they quit three weeks later at the end of feb 23.   - mar 23 - my original direct report goes on maternity leave and I start getting pulled into these interrogation type meetings in the board room. everyone with chief in the title on one side of the table and me, marketing manager (1 of 3 marketing managers on the team) on the other side of the table. it was the only logical seat because it was also the only vacant seat. i was actually terrified. these 2-3 hour long meetings happen every. single. day. until i breakdown crying in the middle of the 14th one (that’s business days only, readers). I lie and say that I had a family emergency to attend to. so I got up and walked out.  - the following monday, march 27, 23, I tell my boss I’m putting in my notice, without a plan. she responds, “can’t say I’m surprised” - that next week, the multi-hour meetings continue except they have pulled in the other 2 marketing managers so I am not the only one on my side of the table anymore. before the end of the week is over, they fire marketing manager #2.  - monday, apr 10, 23, i’m told to work from home the rest of the week and that my last day will be that friday.  - monday, apr 17, 23 was my first day of funemployment. I slept 15 hours. I have slept 9-10 hours every night since. - today, apr 25, 23, they fired my second direct report.  I could not eat well due to stress and anxiety during this time. I could not sleep well due to stress and anxiety during this time. I could not go to the gym due to stress and anxiety during this time. I could not take care of myself due to stress and anxiety during this time.  I will NEVER let that happen to me again.   

[steddiebang]

Hi mods! I have a question regarding the fic claims for artists. Do you already have a plan on how that's going to happen? Will each artist hand in a list with faves and you mods assign fics and artists OR is it going to be on first come first serve basis? I'd kinda like to know before signing up bc i cannot get up in the middle of the night to claim my preferred fic in time due to timezones differences. 🙂

We've done claims for past bangs and used the first-come, first-serve method, so we're planning to stick with that this time around. We absolutely get that it can be difficult (especially in wildly different time zones from the bang!) to be able to make it at a specific time - and those of you who have participated in bangs before know that during claims, fics can be snapped up really, really quickly. (I've been in bangs before where almost all fics were claimed within the first hour of claims opening! It was wild.)

However, while there are definitely pros to having artists email in their lists for mods to arrange teams, it's just not something either of us feel will work best for this bang. Claims are still a ways off, so obviously we can't say for certain we won't change our minds on that, but for right now, we're planning for the first-come, first-serve method.

As for specifically how claims will work, our plan is outlined below. Keep in mind that claims are in June, so we might update or shift this around as needed.

Authors will submit their fics to be claimed starting June 3 via Google Form. Mods will add their claim submission info to a slidedeck, which we will send out to artists to preview during the week of June 5 - 9. We will continue to accept fic submissions through June 9, and close the form late evening on that day.

On June 10, artist claims will open. We have not yet decided the exact time, as it will depend on mod schedules (since we will be very busy during claims) and what time works best for any overlapping time zones. It will likely be morning or early afternoon CST. Artists will have a Google Form they will use to submit their top five (potentially seven, if we get a lot of project submissions!) choices to claim. Since claims will work on a first-come, first-serve basis, artists will be assigned their first choice if it hasn't yet been claimed, their second if their first has already been taken, and so on. If all of their choices have been claimed, they'll be asked to resubmit a list with different choices, until they claim a fic.

We will likely do different "rounds" of claims to allow for artists to claim multiple fics (if they want) and to make sure all fic projects are claimed. First round would allow all bang artists to claim any fic, second round would allow all bang artists to claim any remaining unclaimed fic (even if they've already claimed a project), third round (if needed) would allow pinch hitters and non-bang artists to claim any remaining unclaimed fic. We will likely also do a quick bonus round of claims where we will open up all fics, regardless of if they have already been claimed, to be double-claimed (e.g. two artists on the same project). That would only happen if we get all projects claim - we're of the "everyone gets a plate before anyone gets seconds" mindset for claims.

Once again, all of this is still up in the air, since we're a few months out from claims. We're flexible on making sure they work for everyone, but this method has worked for us in the past to ensure all projects got claimed.

UPDATE: We forgot that one way bangs have mitigated the time zone issue is by offering artists the option to find a proxy claims submitter. They would have another bang artist, usually someone who lives in a closer time zone, submit their claims choices on their behalf. We’ll add a discord channel to request this as we get closer to claims.