#i didnt think much about this yet tho
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So I met Jessica Madsen (Bridgerton's Cressida Cowper) on the weekend and she is now one of my favourite people 🥹
Got her autograph, sat in on her panel, and thanks to encouragement from a new friend I also went along to a special lil event and got to chat with Jess over dinner for 2 hours 🫠 It was her, Sam Phillips (who plays Lord Debling and is also a joy of a human) me and 7 other lovely folk.
They were both really relaxed and chatted openly about the show - both love the change to Michaela and that there will be more queer rep. They asked which order of Bridgerton siblings we thought the show would be going with and seemed really amused at our guesses (I dont know if they even know what the order is themselves, they were playing very coy about it 😅).
A highlight of the night tho was early on I mentioned that I had to drive 2 hours to get home afterwards, and didn't think she even heard me. But then when she was leaving she touched my shoulder and told me "drive safe!" And I just 🫠 - so sweet she remembered 😭
Anyway, I am now forever a Cressida defender, my girl can do no wrong and deserves the world
#like it was a full 2 hours so there was SO much said#cant repeat all of it#and wont repeat a few things cos 👀#but it was amazing and i love her#oh i asked about the ice cream scene#tho i think other people did at the con too but nice to hear about it directly lol#she just loves Cressida so very much#and Sam is so invested in the show and Debling too#he has a whole back story for him#hes a truly lovely person too#hope he comes back next season#and i hope jess comes back for another con!#this was her first ever i hope she had a good time#i think she did#oh i dont have any photos from the dinner cos we werent allowed#but there was a group photo taken we just havent gotten it yet#i need some proof i didnt imagine it 😂😂#cressida cowper
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yu yu hakusho three kings arc but theres intense demon politics and an actual war instead of Dark Tournament 2.0: The Lesser Version and yusuke isnt suddenly Actually Has Been Mister McSpecial Guy All Along with mazoku blood and is still Just Some Dude with the power of stupid luck and friendship on his side and also KUWABARA IS STILL THERE AND SIGNIFICANT!!!!!!!! AND BOTAN DOES SHIT BESIDES JUST WATCHING THE GUYS DO THINGS !!!!! AND FURTHER EXPLORATION INTO FUCKING UP KURAMA AND HIEIS MENTAL STATES ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YAY SUFFERING!! WITH A BONUS OF KURAHI MUTUAL GAY YEARNING THATS FINALLY EXPOSED WHEN THEY MANAGE TO SNEAK A MEETING AND SEEK COMFORT IN EACH OTHER. and also a sprinkle of some making fun of yomi for my amusement. all this and more in the current brewing ideas of a three kings rewrite in my head right now
#another one for the fic wips!#yu yu hakusho#three kings arc#i have a Lot of complaints about this arc. my least favorite of the show for sure#but so many Good Elements. i want to reshape in into what it couldve been if health/work issues didnt fuck togashi over#and well. add my own preferences to the mix. because its my rewrite and i do what i want. this is for ME first and foremost#hence must have VERY much kurahi#will have to restrain myself somewhat tho bc i KNOW im gonna being hyperfixating on their parts most of all#but i want to focus on everyones situations during this and not push anyone aside. esp my buddy kuwabara :(#sorry man im gonna be giving you more shit to deal with while youre trying to work hard on your studies </3 but i believe in you!#absolutely no clue when this may come to fruition as An Actual Fic. but i need it do it someday. its a Necessity#even if it takes me a bajillion years I MUST MAKE IT#yusuke urameshi#kazuma kuwabara#botan#kurama#hiei#youko kurama#shuichi minamino#yyh#kurahi#accidentally typed botana at first when putting her tag. give botan a katana and name it botana LOL#anyways. cant sleep bc my brain is hyperfixating on this right now#ive already been awake for over 24 hours And Yet.#apparently my brain thinks laying down after ive already been awake for a full day is the Perfect time to hyperfixate on fic ideas
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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#been pretty much a full year since i started learning ab how Hellish my past was and well i think despite everything im fairly well adjusted#FHSJDHDJS#had a childhood of bein trfficked and in and out of shelters and so many untreated bad injuries and yet somhow im still alive 2day#didnt even know until last year thst my abuse being reported caused intrafamilial gun fights#its only funny bc from a logical standpoint i rlly should Not be alive rn but i Am#its been a strangeweird year. anyway this year im focussing on getting medical help for ye olde injuries that never got treated#frank.txt#also still havw to call so many numbers and email so many emails so i can access old case files and stuff#they rlly dont have like. a wikihow article or smthn about recovering old legal information . and im too lazy to try n contact an advocate#anyway idk yayyy happy Mid March aand im still alive#ask to tag#abuse m#csa m#trafficking m#honestly tho i sometimes get bummed bc i feel like im.not doing a lot w my life but then i remember that like#there r SO many reasoms why i shouldnt be alive rn but i Am. a bit of an isolating feeling but knowing there r others tht feel th same helps#sorry for the bummer post i was told its good to Acknolwedhe Small Wins LOL . anywayback to funnys
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Ok had to stop for the night bc i am so so so so tired. But I got all the way to Tainted Lumière. Been taking notes. Been learning some new things. I'll share those later tho. For now, I sleep
#speculation nation#fanny plays expedition 33#me taking notes has slowed me some but also this place is just fucking huge#the biggest revelation tho is the fact that i was misled by the fact that 'Aline' aka the paintress has a room along the kids' wall#*not* with Renoir. so i assumed she was an eldest daughter. then Alicia middle child. and Verso the youngest.#but in the memories ive been seeing. and Especially the greenhouse in the manor. it's revealed that Aline is in fact the mother.#i WAS right to point out theyd barely talked about her. bc their relationship with her was Difficult.#she rejected her husband. to the point where she straight up sleeps in another room i guess.#she also couldnt stand seeing Alicia because of... mirrored pain? aka Aline seems pretty fucked up and was taking it out on her daughter.#'a mother's love' is the record found among flowers in the greenhouse. then we find the journal where shes talking about how she cant talk#to alicia. sounding so bitter. a mother's 'love' indeed.#we havent seen how she was to Verso yet. but given his vague comment id assume their relationship is tenuous too.#but. the boy. the wisp. my theory that that's Verso grew stronger when the boy talked about how much he loves trains. and Verso loves trains#the boy mentioned his mom bought him a train. he sounded so happy. i dont think hes ever sounded happy when we talked to him b4#is it the true him? is he being mislead? or did she actually treat him better than the others in the family?#it's so curious. lots to figure out.#OH YEAH and the fucking. Clair and Obscur. i recognized the Obscur from the statue in the meadows. along the way to the indigo tree.#and i started calling it an Obscur bc it matched the outfit Maelle can get from the vendor in the battlefield. called Obscur.#then the thing attacked and i was like 'wait this is actually an Obscur?!?!?!' so i had great recognition skills there 😂😂#and theres smth to be said about the default expedition uniform being black and gold like the Obscur#and the 'pure' uniform being white and gold like the Clair. it feels intentional. tho moreso by the game devs.#idk how the people of Lumière would know about the aesthetics of the Obscur. but who fuckin knows.#APPARENTLY we arent the first expedition to get into the monolith. besides 00. fucking expeditions 70 and 60.#who the fuck are you guys. i havent found journals for them yet. im burning to know how they got into here.#and why they didnt succeed if they got so far...... CURIOUS.....#anyways yeah 👍👍 fun stuff!! unfortunately i am only human and i must sleep#but i shall finish the chapter. tomorrow probably.
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HOW DO YOU JOIN WITH BASE 32 STRENGTH?? KJELLE JOINED WITH 18 HOW DO YOU HAVE 32?!?!?!
#ann plays awakening#i got his mom late so i recruited him two chapters after everyone else#so about half of them have made it to promoted classes#HES STRONGER THAN ALL OF THEM?????#closest ive got is two units at like 30 str#UNLEVELED GEROME JUST HAS 32. WHAT#this fucking guy. i love him so much#havent recruited him yet cuz im tired and his paralogue on lunatic is daunting#i was j grinding his moms’ support rank which is mindless#so his paralogue is a tomorrow thing i was just looking at his stats to know if i should pass lethality to him#im not going to do that 😭#i just. i wasnt expecting 32 i was expecting like 28 at most#i am surprised he didnt cap strength actually but looking at mods he actually gets +6 strength which is like. insane#i think the highest u can get without the avatar is like +7?#so not bad. i honestly didnt think say’ri had a str mod im kinda surprised. definitely pleased tho
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I CANT I CANTTTTTTT I WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE RJIKNHGKRSBKFUCKNHJHFBNJEA JFHBAEJHBFJHBHBHBHBHBBAZHJDBAJHDBAJKHBDJKNA????A//////!?!!!!!!!!??!!???!?!?!??!! I CANNOT I LITERALLY NOT THE CAN I CANTTTTTT RAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#⚠️WARNING⚠️TAGS R SUPER FUCKING LONG I NEEEEED TO RAMBLE ABOUT LOVE AND DEEPSPACE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS#SUGGESTIVE ART? NSFW? LITERAL GODDAMN PORN? LIGHT WORK NO REACTION#POV ROMANTIC OTOME GAME SHIT WITH THE TINIEST HINT OF SPICE??? I CANNOT ITS TOO MCUH I ITS AUGHHH IM JNUHJHFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK#IM LIKE FUCKING PLAYING THIS GAME WITH A HAND COVERING MY EYES WHILE PEEKING ITS TOO MUCH#I AM LOOKING AWAY EVERY SECOND IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FUCKUNGBHGJGHJHGHGBJJH#I HATE HATE HATEEEEE (not rly) IT WHEN THEY GET NEAR U ITS AUGH ITS SO WEIRD I PUT MY PHONE FURTHER AWAY FROM ME OUT OF EMBARASSMENT#SOMETIMES I LOSE MY IMMERSION AND GET SELF AWARE AND THINK TO MYSELF THIS IS SO FUCKING WEIRD... THIS IS WHY I DONT PLAY OTOME GAMES DUDE#like no hate to otome games its just way too much for me i get way too embarassed abt playing them its def a me thing#ok first of all the combat is p ok actually it reminds me of pgr and hi3 altho i like pgr better :] (lee my beloved)#i did burst out laughing when i found out abt it cause i thought it would be like mysme and its just visual novel shit but its really okay#also i did a bit of thinking as to why i dont find the charas super appealing & its cause theyre obv manifactured to b 'the perfect guy'#like you know how pugs were bred to be cute but end up deformed and stuff? yea kinda like that#im not saying theyre deformed but thats the vibes im getting#deformed pug vibes#the jp vas are pulling thru though#ALSO I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF GACHA pleaseee i alr play hsr + gi + /occasionally/ pgr and stopppp i hate the gamba aspect of the games#AND IM NOT JUST SAYING THAT BC I DIDNT GET THE CARD I WANT#.................. OKAY SO MAYBE I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANT THE POINT STILL STANDS#i like them (reluctantly) all so far ? idk no one is rlly my fav yet tbf im still at ch. 2 so..#theyre all cute ig zayne is nice maybe i dunno i like his shoulders......? hes very cold tho cause haha ice powers#i call him elsa in my head#xaiver is also nice? hes cute? hes sleepy n shit#rafayel is kinda goofy? aloof? but in the 'she's so crazzzzzzzzzy! i love her!' way (look it up if u dont know) and im not super into that#hes the one whimpering though so it is what it is#overall i think ill keep playing until i get the card i want ill also prolly play it on my laptop instead cause its super laggy on my phone#idk how ill deal with the combat part tho but thats a problem for future me lolol#okay yea idk if anyone is still reading this but i dont want my irls to know that im playing this game so here we r#idk why im using the tags to ramble its way more fun like its more casual i think#OKAY YEA BYE#frambling...?
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fascinated by mindt being found in temenos' house at night for some reason. what are u doing in here.
#temenos and mindts relationship is kind of interesting to think about in general but this certainly adds to it#like its. kinda hard to tell exactly how 'close' they are disregarding. everything that happens#judging by the dialogue of various townsfolk in flameschurch it seems like temenos is a well known and loved member on the community#which yknow. makes sense. hes a cleric. thats basically part of his job#and the children especially love him (which is why theyre mean to him lol) which is very sweet to see#but hes also. very deeply lonely#its more evident later in the game and mostly expressed in travel banters but its very much there#even before rois passing iirc#like obviously he had roi as a close friend and brother but it seemed implied that he was more. isolated from others#doubting others bc roi wouldnt#despite caring for the pontiff who adopted him he even seems to be somewhat distanced from him too#similar to ophilia. they both usually refer to their adoptive fathers w formal terms ('your holiness')#. and while i adore the parallels between the 2 octopath clerics thats not the thing im going on abt rn. anyway#that makes it kind of interesting to see how mindt seems to be making an effort to get close#casually barging in on his convo w the pontiff. asking him to write after he leaves. seeing him off. trying to act as an emotional pillar#but he immediately lies to her abt what exactly his journey is for. but he also never suspected her#not being able to account for her immortality aside i wouldnt doubt that part of that was bc she was the last maybe-friend he had there#its no wonder his anger slips there he deserves to be well and truly pissed off. he lost literally everyone he cared for in some way#hang on im looking at the cutscenes for reminders and im sad abt crick again .#ANYWAY man thats just super interesting. she may not have had temenos the same way she had tanzy#but she didnt have to really. what she did worked in the end and she ruined his entire life over the course of like 5+ years#not fully trusted but still familiar. enough that u can find her in his damn house#what IS she doing in there tho. does she also live here. is she being nosy. is this just normal for her and no one would find it weird#also mindt noting multiple times that she wished she knew what was going on in temenos' mind..#yet she already seems to know. to some degree#subjugate their hearts and minds..#octotag#octopath traveler#octopath traveler 2 spoilers#good to know thinking abt temenos still makes me feel ill
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ok why did my computer crash out over an outdaded version of MODGUARD of all things
#like. my other ts4 mods are all from safe sources (afaik)#i'm doing a total virus scan just to be safe but the quick one showed no viruses#isnt modguard like. supposed to help against my computer crashing out bc of mods#its a safetynet sure and its a mod i trust to keep my pc safe#but like. seriously.#either it was a rlly funny coincidence or my pc is fucked#bc ts4 crashed. my browser crashed for a moment. the only thing that didnt crash was task manager#and also a few other apps (rainmeter) didnt crash I think#anyways yeah#im gonna suffer thru this virus scan before opening ts4 again :3#nix's random posts#this is about ts4 btw#i was making levia and behemo and just got them an apartment#and then my game crashed :(#didn't lose much tho I have them saved in my library and I hadn't begun building their apartment yet
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Not to localizationpost but the reason Daigo's line sounds off is because it is <3 Not in that it's a mistranslation per se... He was saying he felt like he was the only coward among them, and "You're making me look like I have no balls." is One Way You Could Put That I Guess, but it loses his established character voice and is at odds with the delivery.
It's actually even more Kansai-like in the dub script, since dropping the G like this is near-exclusive to Kansai:
In Gaiden, I've noticed there's been a significant hemorrhaging of dialects that has at best been hastily cleaned-up. It's most evident with Nishitani III because he was, practically up until release day, localized like he's from Kansai even though he doesn't speak Kansai at all. I think I last talked about that before the game came out, but having experienced the game, there are still remnants of that in parts of the sub script and especially the dub script. You can also see it pop up with Kiryu using words like " 'bout" and " 'course," which He Would Not Say.
The introduction of slang where it doesn't really belong and the mixups with the dialects are relatively minor issues... until you have the accidental sexual abuse censorship fiasco on your hands because you decided to translate from Kanto rather than Kansai... lol...
In that instance and that instance only I feel entitled to monetary compensation from the localization team for all 60+ tweets I had to see questioning Shishido's abuse (yes I counted) (for this week's/tomorrow's video) because GODDDDD I can't even blame the players at that point... I just feel it fundamentally changes how you look at Shishido and Nishitani As Characters I will neverrrrr be over it I'm sorry...
On another note, while I'm talking about Shishido, setting aside the many actual mistranslations with his dialogue, I do kind of feel like they struggled with his character voice. He's notably much more polite than you'd expect, and I could tell the effect Yokoyama and Furuta were originally going for was something along the lines of the contrast between Mine and Jo's usual formality (depending on who they're addressing anyway Lol) and how vulgar and aggressive they get when they snap, just with the added layer of Shishido not looking as outwardly professional/put-together as those two.
Like. Y'know. It's not that Kansai is casual in and of itself, it's that many Kansai characters speak more casually and there's a higher ceiling for how colorful their language can get, but you still have to keep the individual character's voice in mind... Shishido also slips into the Kanto dialect on occasion, which has interesting implications for his character, and it's somewhat disappointing to not see that noted when the team for K2 did note when Sayama switched accents lol...
Anyway none of that matters what does matter is that in the scene you were referencing, in spite of making Daigo's line more vulgar than it is, they replaced Shishido calling everyone "dickcheeses" with "pricks" LIKE C'MOOONNNN YOU'RE TELLING ME JO CAN TALK ABOUT TEATS BUT SHISHI CAN'T GET PROPER NARSHTY... I get that it's kind of an unwieldy phrase but c'mooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnn it's his birthdayyyyy
i woulda just bout lost every marble i had left if they really let shishido get away with callin everyone smegma liiiikkkeee i wouldn't have survived LOL
#long post#havent used that in a. /long/ while HAH GOTTEM anyway.#snap chats#anyway thats fun :) <- its not fun 'interesting' is a word that exists and fits#yeah sorry you had to deal with. The Affects Of Localization LMAO ITS WHY I TRY NOT TO MENTION IT MUCH#its an annoying topic so i try dodging it and yet i failed.. the line is still really funny to me. ill try to stop talkin bout it tho#there is a point is 'loss in character voice' tho since. thats what I Think i was rambling bout in my post lol#but yeah. thats fun :) <- its still not fun#despite shishido Looking Like That adn Being Built Like That at the very least i did feel like he was SOMEWHAT polite#idk how to describe it but i didnt feel like he was as vulgar or . bombastic(?) as ryuji (who he was compared to at some point)#NOT A BAD THING OF COURSE i should stop talking :) i dont have a phd in. anything LOL but esp not shishido#i dont know what im talking about half the time anyway... lol...
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Oh yeah yesterday I went to my C programming professor's office hours to ask about what's being covered in class tomorrow. Since I can't go bc of my PT appointment overlapping with it & I'm apparently the kind of student that cares about attending every single class now.
While I was there, I ended up chatting with him about a few things, including my current standing in the class. He asked what I got on the midterm exam, & I answered it was an 87, and he told me I was one of the top 5 or 6 scores in the Whole Class (this being a like. Maybe 70 or so person class). Top score was a 92 or 93 (idr lol) & the class average was a 72. Apparently there were a few of us in the upper 80s/lower 90s, but most people got 70s or lower. And once he does the curve on the exam, he said I'd probably end up with a 97 or so on the exam. So yay!!!
And then he told me how he's noticed how I come to class every day and am really active with taking notes and answering questions. Bc I also sit up front all the time lmao. Hadn't even realized how much of a damned teacher's pet I've been being, but I've been Trying to be a good student this year. But he said I was the type of student that if I got an 88% or smth in the class, he'd likely bump me up to a 90% so I'd get an A lol. But he also said so long as I keep up with how I have been, I could possibly get a 100% in the class by the end (bc I've been there for all the extra credit questions in class and whatever).
And just. I went there bc I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything important in class on Wednesday, and I ended up having my ego stroked for Real. Felt good to have my efforts be recognized.
#speculation nation#now if only i could care that much for my web coding class. but oh well im still keeping up even if its a reluctant shamble much of the time#other stuff we talked about was how im graduating this semester & how i plan to stay in indiana to work#bc i have family here & i like the relatively low cost of living. & im not particularly ambitious.#just wanna make enough money to live comfortably. dont need anything fancy beyond that.#& he talked about how that's a good outlook in life. how he's known ppl who went to fuckin silicon valley or whatever#with high paying jobs. but the cost of living is so high that theyre effectively not making much more money than here#he said smth about like. a $70k salary has just as much strength here than a $120k salary there. smth around those#& he praised me on how i seem genuine and hard-working. so he thinks im gonna do just fine in the industry 🥺🥺🥺#i kinda wanted to keep chatting with him but i had to go to bowling class lol. ended up late to it even#bc i checked my phone for the time while chatting and went Oh Fuck bc it wss 1 min after the class started hfkshfks had to rush off then#but yeah makes me feel very nice about that class. i think it rly is my favorite class this semester.#web programming is pretty rewarding and im glad im taking it. but i was basically a complete newbie in html css and javascript#so ive spent quite a lot of time wanting to tear out my fucking HAIR over these labs. b4 it clicks and im like Haha yayy :3#i like C programming bc it's just so much more logical and regimented. it IS the language that got me to give up my engineering degree#since i was thinking about computer engineering. took my first coding class freshman year. and went 'i love this. i want to do CS now'#didnt do that obviously. but im happy where ive ended up. i wouldnt wanna be a programmer lol#and then my quality engineering in IT class. it's certainly engaging. it's the class i constantly have presentations in tho#had Another one this morning. blah! good to keep in practice but i still dont rly enjoy public speaking lmao#probably the most work intensive of my classes. interesting but Blegh#C programming i just keep up with the labs and do the exams and it's wonderful... so logical and comforting...#oh yeah web programming i also have a few presentations. also gotta fucking. code my project pages by next week 😭😭😭#i think it's just the html and css? no javascript yet. thank god. javascript is by far the hardest to learn#but css is so finicky too!!!! ive been struggling with trying to move these fucking input boxes around#i wanna have them on the right!! but they wont go there!!! gotta poke at it more. at least i managed to finish building the form.#still have to finish the lab tho. that was due 2 days ago. lol. also have another one due sunday. AND the project pages. gah!!!#they havent even graded the wireframes yet. i wanted their feedback b4 proceeding to coding >:( oh well#anyways yeah..im keeping busy lol
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god the amount of hoops one of my coworkers jumps through for this violent autistic male is insaneeeee
#god please never let her have kids like she wants to have#she would be the absolute worst boymom#also her boyfriend is a serial cheater and has cheated on her 6 times. and hes like 20 and shes a senior in highschool.#also she was my work bestie#needless to say how she treats this one male changed my whole view on her#he is the only kid she treats like this btw#and it's purely bc shes friends with his sister#kids who act way better than he does get her full force of rage and annoyance and she immediately turns around to move the earth for him#like literally whenever theyre in the same room together i need to just wlak away because she pisses me off so fucking much#'hes having a really hard dayyyyyyyy he needs to be allowed to do this thing that literally no child in this school is allowed to do#and he needs to be able to walk the school unsupervised even tho he has had multiple instances of stealing valuable items#and even attempting to break out of the school and run away bc he was told to do something he didnt want toooooooo it's only faiiiirrr'#like literally shut up. this is exactly why we have so many horrible males. bc theyre babied by women like this.#every day i feel my patience and ability to act like i give a shit slipping away more and more and more and more.#since i started this job the absolute bane of my existence has been horrible and violent autistic males.#like my first year where there was a giant 5th grader who had repeatedly sexually assaulted myself another staff member and a student#and he was NOT ONCE EVER punished for it or given a write up. not once. no; instead we had policies in place where he couldnt be left alone#with specific women and girls.#placing the blame on them if they were caught alone in a room with him instead of kicking the dangerous male out of the program#the day he aged out and went to middle school was a glorious day. i hope the middle school teachers ripped him a new asshole. i truly do.#these genuinely dangerous and predatory male children are always given thousands of chances and excuses and are coddled#yet girls who display trauma responses and ptsd are full on demonized and kicked out of the program within a few weeks.#on their very first minor offense.#like there was one girl who was quirky and hyper active from her adhd. you'd think she killed my coworkers children from how much#they hated her. for no reason. literally no reason. i only had to speak to her maybe three times in the 2 years she was in the program#like goddd it annoys me so much i hate working with boy moms#another girl is sexually assaulted by her brother in front of us and never gets into trouble. ever. and yet my coworkers talk shit about he#at least once a week and mock her and her intelligence#meanwhile her brother; who is loud obnoxious and sexually assaults her other students and EVERY STAFF MEMBER in our program?#'i just love that kid he's so cute'
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Planning out my outfit for my concert shit. I think I've got good pants for it, maybe got shoes for it. Gonna look for a blouse tomorrow + possibly some new shoes. Bc the maybe-shoes are those shoes I got for the suit that I HATE. They gave me such terrible blisters. And I think the pants I have would look better with some kind of heel. But if I don't find anything good I can just use those flats. And for the blouse, it's gotta be black and long sleeve and also have enough flexibility to not restrict my playing. Flexible Clothes. All the better to play a funky little tune in.
On top of that tho I've got several assignments I gotta do this week. Gotta make a wireframe prototype for my web app for web programming class. Tonight, really. Bc the official thing is due Sunday but I gotta get it reviewed by classmate(s) (and also review someone else's, too), so better to have that done sooner rather than later. There's also a lab for my C programming class due on Friday, which I need to have done before the end of lab so I can get it checked off. Gonna try to get most of it done tomorrow night, if not all of it, so that I can just go into lab and get it checked off and then LEAVE. Bc if I stay the full lab I will have less than an hour b4 I gotta be at the venue for sound check. And I really would prefer to have more time before that. Tbh the lab probably won't take TOO much work, since it's just using recursion to make a lil maze solver thing. Not too many lines of code, since the recursion does a lot of that. The tricky part is actually figuring out the logic for it properly. But I took good notes on it when my professor talked about it in class so MAYBE I didn't attend the last 2 labs and MAYBE I haven't even started the thing. But it's ok. Fuck it we ball. And ON TOP OF THAT... the assignments, the orchestra prep, etc... I also wanna clean my apartment some, probably on Friday morning, bc nonzero chance of visitors after the concert. Not for long if they do come in. But Still.... #Embarrassed. It's not as bad as it was b4 bc thankfully I did manage to do my dishes. But there's still some things I should get cleaned up.
AND THEN...!!!!!!!!!!
Well I mentioned the prototype thing. I gotta review someone else's prototype, and I also need to update my own prototype depending on what people say about mine. Tbh I'm kinda planning on doing a lower-effort version to start with (instead of trying to make it perfect from the start) so that it'll hopefully be easier to adjust the prototype to whatever the advice is & make it seem like an actual improvement. There's also a presentation over this thing, which thankfully I'm presenting on... Wednesday, I think? But I gotta have the slides submitted I Think Sunday night (when the prototype itself is due). So I gotta prep the presentation alongside prepping the prototype. AND I have a lab for this same class due on Sunday too, so I'm a busy bee!!
And ON TOP OF ALL THAT, I have a midterm exam in-class on Wednesday for my C programming class (same day as the web programming presentation, ugh 🙄), a presentation for my quality engineering in IT class on Thursday (over ISO 9001 quality standard), AND a paper for that presentation's content due on..Friday, I think? It's a group presentation/paper, same group I worked with last time, which Thankfully they can pull their own weight. It's just more to do lol.
God. I'm being worked to the bone, actually. Feels like everything is happening all at once. But then I remember that it's midterms time and I have spring break the week after next. And I'm like. OK, that makes sense.
Just gotta survive the next week and a half... lol...
#speculation nation#HOW DID A POST ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I GOTTA DO IN A WEEK AND A HALF END UP THIS LONG.......#well the good news is that bowling class is gonna do more fun practice things next week#so maybe i have a million and one things to do. but i will have fun things too!!!#anyways this means that i really cant slack on doing my work anymore. i keep putting things off.#but with this many things? every day has a Requirement and i Cannot afford to push any of them off to the next day.#id still find a way to do them but i'd risk losing sleep by that point. which i really would prefer to avoid.#especially tomorrow night. which is the night im most worried about turning into a sleep deprivation night.#if i cant finish that lab fast enough. bc that lab HAS to be at least mostly done before 2 pm on friday. it HAS to be.#and by god id fuckin do it. but with my concert being on Friday?? no time for a nap in between???#i play worse when im tired. so the best thing i can do for friday's me for the concert is making sure im well-rested.#also gonna do some practicing tomorrow. a lil before rehearsal (if i have enough time after going to the store for clothes)#and maybe some After too. depending on if theres anything i mess up enough during rehearsal.#but yeah so to make sure i dont have to stay up too late tomorrow i Need to do this prototype tonight.#even tho i reaaaaaally dont want to 😭😭😭😭#i got frozen like a popsicle on my way home from class today. biking in 28F windchill while raining. brr.#i was actually planning on going clothes shopping tonight. but after that? i didnt wanna go back outside lol#just went scrounging to see what clothes i already have. which the pants are old-ish but theyve barely been used#and theyre nicely flexible (which is good bc i tend to play my violin with my knees open. more room for bow movement.)#theyre a lil dusty and a lil wrinkled but i wanna do another load of laundry tomorrow evening regardless. so it works out fine.#spent my whole shower after getting home today thinking and planning out how im gonna make all this work.#not much wiggle room but it SHOULD be fine. so long as i dont act like a dumbass.#as that vash meme says: Can You Stop Fucking Around?#i will honor it. 🫡 i will. fuckinnnn manage-kit web app prototype Here i come#(stupid thing is titled manage-kit. or ManageKit? idk yet. it's a manager assistant thing. in theory.)#(i forgot about the project proposal thing until literally the last half hour b4 it was due. so i fell back on prior experience.)#(a little tool to make store management easier! my professor liked the idea at least 😂😂)
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The thing is, I already wrote this story....
#writing#usa#unfreedom#i wrote a grand conspiracy#i see the inner workings#since i was 13#how freedom can be hijacked#i am a writer so i even have insights into minds of dictators#no illusions about someone who admires a dictator#who speaks against others#rich who pretends to speak for working class#just a powermonger#using narrarives he thinks will propel him to power#my story was better tho#at least the dictator was good looking#even then i wasnt taken in unlike my alter ego who i despised for falling for him lol#i wont be taken in by anyone#in ny story a few brave ppl stopped the takeover#at camp david#i dont quite remember the specifics....#it wasnt election i dont think yet but a cabinet member or sth? was a senator#i didnt really know much but still imagining such things does help u see#maybe i just see truth easily-- behind lies#i also see story and global machinations and big picture. not believe conspiracy ad fsct but what if.#and if things look a certain way....#also following Ukraine and russia i see patterns. most americans practically blond bc they dont know history or world events#not outside their own filter which is very limited and selfish and ignorant
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