#i don’t really know what else to say

[totally-italy]

TW: Vent, mainly about my parents and ableism.

In continuation to my vent from the other day about my parents' reaction to the SEN department at my school saying that I might have AuDHD and that I should consider getting a diagnosis, in the conversation.that followed between my parents and I, they also started listing 'personal failings' and personality traits that I need to work on, including not isolating myself from people (which I usually do because of overstimulation as a result of AuDHD), being more sociable (again, I'm autistic, what do you expect?) and having more patience (ADHD, babes, go die in a ditch).

Coming back to more recent times and conversations, on Tuesday, my parents said that we would first go on a walk, have lunch and then return to the hotel where we are currently staying at (presumably at around 1 or 1:30 pm). However, due to the original walk being shorter than expected, we then ended up having lunch and having an additional 2 hour walk afterwards, even though my brother and I were both really tired and bored.

It feels really dumb to type out, but that whole change of plans, as well as the fact that we had to continue walking and could not return to the hotel yet, somehow led to me having a meltdown (I think), though I tried my best not to let it show. Ultimately, this failed and I was still really irritable towards my parents, though I did actually try my best to control it (I ended up just leaving and going to cry in the bathroom).

Anyway, afterwards, my father basically tried to start a whole entire new conversation with me (as in, he started lecturing me again and completely disregarding the fact that I'm neurodivergent, because clearly I'm just making that up in order to be interesting) and he essentially said that I need to learn how to relax (which I honestly find really difficult due to my ADHD) and that I need to have proportionate reactions to things such as plans changing (I think I was literally having a meltdown and I was really struggling to regulate my emotions).

I don't really know what else to say, I kind of just wanted to rant because every time I do something that is even just slightly unpleasant, usually because I am massively emotionally dysregulated and completely overstimulated, the entire situation escalates to my parents always treating me as though I'm the problem, whilst I'm just there barely hanging on and trying to manage both their emotions and mine. I feel really pathetic as a human being and I'm probably just being overdramatic, but it really hurts and every time I feel like I'm losing my mind because I can't tell if this is more of their emotional manipulation and abuse, because I have pretty much been trained to not believe in my own instincts or feelings, or whether I am just being overly sensitive, so I guess I am just partly writing this out because I mentally need to sort this out in my mind and figure out whether I am just a terrible person, as my parents keep on implying.

[qrrieterisunnq]

10 people I'd like to know better

tagged by @sweethischier 🤭

Last song: sweat by Haiden Henderson

Favourite colour: emerald green

Last Book: King of Pride by Ana Huang

Last movie: Creed II.

Last TV show: Supernatural

Sweet/Savoury/Spicy: Definitely Spicy. I don’t like sweet things, hehe

Relationship status: (currently in relationship with Rowan Kane but who knows tomorrow it can be someone else haha) single girl tired of boys’ shit

Last thing I googled: cyclegroover because i had to know how akinator (on discord) knows who am i thinking about

Looking forward to: See how this season will end for our Devils’ Boys and the start of f1 season (plus my high school graduation, because I want to have peace for a while haha)

Current obsession: With Quinn haha and motorcycle boys, like sorry but they are different cup of coffee

no pressure tags @cupidbedsy @toasttt11 @hhughes @mikkomacko @misschino @luvhughes43 @sc0tters @sweetestdesire @wineauntie @puckinghischier + all of you who’d like to take part in!! <3

[ari-continues-to-exist]

i just read your bio- same 🥲

you seem cool I just started following you

I won’t unfollow if no but do you follow back?

!!! Hello!!!! And Thank you, you seem cool too!!

I don’t currently follow you but I absolutely wouldn’t mind following you back! :)

[transgirl-from196]

Please just don’t do anything drastic anyone.

Life will keep moving. We will keep going. We will persevere.

My tumblr dashboard right now is filled with a lot of people (mainly other trans people, but also other groups too) who are very worried and scared about what the future might look like, understandably so. Not just people living in the US, but people everywhere who are affected by the US government and its politics and decisions.

Things might be shit for a while, for basically everyone. For some people it is going to get a lot harder. But things will get better one day. And there will be small wins and moments to live for, now and on the way.

You’re probably gonna feel a lot of feelings tonight and in the next couple of days. Don’t make any massive life decisions until the initial feeling of dread has passed you. I’m making this post for myself as well as others. If possible wait until your head has cleared before you operate heavy machinery

[keferon]

Omg Transformers Cyberworld turned out being much better than I expected

[awnrii]

uhm. raiden pony

[totally-italy]

TW: Vent, mainly about my parents and ableism.

In continuation to my vent from the other day about my parents' reaction to the SEN department at my school saying that I might have AuDHD and that I should consider getting a diagnosis, in the conversation.that followed between my parents and I, they also started listing 'personal failings' and personality traits that I need to work on, including not isolating myself from people (which I usually do because of overstimulation as a result of AuDHD), being more sociable (again, I'm autistic, what do you expect?) and having more patience (ADHD, babes, go die in a ditch).

Coming back to more recent times and conversations, on Tuesday, my parents said that we would first go on a walk, have lunch and then return to the hotel where we are currently staying at (presumably at around 1 or 1:30 pm). However, due to the original walk being shorter than expected, we then ended up having lunch and having an additional 2 hour walk afterwards, even though my brother and I were both really tired and bored.

It feels really dumb to type out, but that whole change of plans, as well as the fact that we had to continue walking and could not return to the hotel yet, somehow led to me having a meltdown (I think), though I tried my best not to let it show. Ultimately, this failed and I was still really irritable towards my parents, though I did actually try my best to control it (I ended up just leaving and going to cry in the bathroom).

Anyway, afterwards, my father basically tried to start a whole entire new conversation with me (as in, he started lecturing me again and completely disregarding the fact that I'm neurodivergent, because clearly I'm just making that up in order to be interesting) and he essentially said that I need to learn how to relax (which I honestly find really difficult due to my ADHD) and that I need to have proportionate reactions to things such as plans changing (I think I was literally having a meltdown and I was really struggling to regulate my emotions).

I don't really know what else to say, I kind of just wanted to rant because every time I do something that is even just slightly unpleasant, usually because I am massively emotionally dysregulated and completely overstimulated, the entire situation escalates to my parents always treating me as though I'm the problem, whilst I'm just there barely hanging on and trying to manage both their emotions and mine. I feel really pathetic as a human being and I'm probably just being overdramatic, but it really hurts and every time I feel like I'm losing my mind because I can't tell if this is more of their emotional manipulation and abuse, because I have pretty much been trained to not believe in my own instincts or feelings, or whether I am just being overly sensitive, so I guess I am just partly writing this out because I mentally need to sort this out in my mind and figure out whether I am just a terrible person, as my parents keep on implying.

[javierduffy]

MIV’s (mentally-ill-vaquero)s latest post on how javier has religious trauma has got me thinking …. with javier’s internalized dynamic of saviorship and worship and God and Man … there’s actually some parallels between his (history with) religion and the way he deifies and glorifies dutch and is so entrapped in dutch’s indoctrination. he’s already susceptible to manipulation because of the cultural differences and the way that dutch has intentionally positioned himself to force javier to rely on him for his literal survival, but i think his history with religion further bolsters his susceptibility to indoctrination and manipulation, and his fear of god bleeds over into his fear of dutch, who seems to have a similar hold on javier’s mortal soul. and the way that javier feels that he CANNOT leave the gang, and the way that he CANNOT doubt dutch (and when he does, he repents, by “proving” his loyalty, unquestioningly. he fears dutch’s wrath, and so he falls in line when he is confronted with it, even just a little bit.), it’s just like how many (and even dare i say javier himself) fear leaving their religion, and fear doubting god, for the intimidation of losing His mercy, and what that means for them. his relationship with religion, and with the way religion itself (especially catholicism and christianity) FORCES most people to stay out of the sheer fear of going to hell and experiencing the suffering of eternal damnation, i believe, influences his dynamic with the entire world, ESPECIALLY images of power, like dutch. god scares javier into confusion and anger and resentment, but most of all into submission and repentance, and, just the same, dutch does too.

but also, both of javier’s gods contradict each other. dutch asks him to kill, and god asks he repent for his killing. javier escuella, poor man, cannot escape a life of maddening confusion. no wonder he ends up as an angry, empty, hateful husk of a man in the end.

[mageknife]

Cole: His face in the stands, watching as I pass the test. So proud there's tears in his eyes.

Cole: Anything to make him happy, anything.

Cole: Why isn't that true anymore?

/

Dorian: He says we’re alike. Too much pride. Once I would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. Now I’m not certain.

/

Halward: This is not what I wanted.

Dorian: I'm never what you wanted, Father, or had you forgotten?

/

Nightmare: Greetings, Dorian… It is Dorian, isn’t it? For a moment, I mistook you for your father.

[ovaryacted]

I’m gonna be honest with y’all, I’m not answering these asks that keep coming into my inbox talking about the post I made, what I said, xyz because most of the talking points from said anons remains the same: I’m bullying people, not everyone thinks TLOU incorporates trauma porn as a plot device, liking the show isn’t an endorsement of zionism, I shouldn’t be engaging in the fandom if I hate the source material so much, I should have been nicer, I’m lying about my personal experiences and why I’m even bringing this up in the first place.

I knew from the jump that if I made that post I was going to get shit for it, and I also knew it wouldn’t have mattered if I added the screenshots, if I didn’t, if I shortened the post or were any less reactionary. I would’ve gotten the same response and reaction? Why? Because some people don’t know how to not be ignorant. It wouldn’t have mattered whether I made the post or didn’t, or if I liked somebody else’s posts about the same topics we keep talking about in circles, the result would have been the same. I knew in advance what was coming towards me, I didn’t anticipate how quickly, if I’m being real, but from the messages I have been getting, it’s obvious that people are more upset about me making the post versus why I made it.

Simply put, people just don’t get it. Whether they decide to purposefully ignore things or not is up to them.

Many of you are being purposefully obtuse about how that original post came off. Only a couple of people have been vocal about the problems of S2 of TLOU recently, regardless of the second game coming out, and how the show may include some of the same themes, if not worse, considering how they’re changing things in the show. That’s primarily me, Vetty, and Noelle. I’m sure others have been talking about it as well whom I probably haven’t had the pleasure of engaging with directly, but considering I have been one of the few people openly talking about the perception of the show, the connections to harmful themes behind it, and how Pedro being a latino man a color with a background of coming from a family of political refugees changes things; the original post does seem like a dig at the 5-6 people bringing that specific point up.

I’ve seen passive-aggressive posts on here talking about how those who talk about critiques of TLOU, plot issues and bad writing aside, are ruining the experience for others, and that we should just shut up. I think that’s the problem with this whole situation. A lot of you would rather ignore other people’s voices for your comfort and enjoyment at their expense, and you just can’t admit to that. Like so many people have said before, this is the approach many of you in the fandom have taken when it comes to literally anything, whether consciously or unconsciously. You all preach about spreading kindness and building community, but don’t care when those who don’t feel welcomed speak up when they are being targeted for actually existing in the same way their existence is targeted in real life.

Many of us, I’m sure, live in the imperial core, being the United States. We’ve grown accustomed to living through violence, mass death, and likewise have been conditioned to determine who should be put on the chopping block for our comforts. We are living and witnessing multiple genocides, some have “slowed down”, some never stopped, but acting like having critical thinking skills towards media that feeds off of these very concepts that will eventually trickle down to us is a crime and a personal attack, shows your lack of perception.

Of course, I was frustrated and reactionary when I made that post a few hours ago, it’s a talking point I’ve made personally, on this page, multiple times that many people have seen and unfollowed me for. Why are y’all blaming me for my tone and approach of all things, as if I haven’t been getting the short end of the stick every time I had something to say? Why do I have to be the one to remain cordial when damn near every one of y’all keep engaging in bullshit posts? Let me simplify why I’m upset and then maybe y’all will get it:

What many others and I have been saying repeatedly is that aligning yourselves with people who continuously post about moral justifications ruining their consumption and enjoyment makes your general approach to said consumption problematic. Nobody, literally nobody, is telling anyone to stop watching the show, because that would make us all hypocrites. We ALL are either watching the show, playing the game, writing about either source, etc. The main reason why is because we want to, because we can, because we enjoy it, because we love Joel Miller and want to fuck him, that’s a no brainer. That’s why we’re in the fandom, right? That’s why it exists. But the problem here is saying that those who bring up their critiques are purposefully making fandom spaces negative by using their critical thinking skills and viewing things in a real-world perspective, with current real-world politics, some do not have. Making posts like that is dismissive as hell; frankly, it’s dumb and petty. This is why I hate the fandom more than I hate the material, and I’ve already made peace with the fact that I don’t want to partake in this hellhole anymore. Y’all got it. Nobody is ruining the fandom, it’s already been ruined so many times over, it’s a dumpster fire now.

At the end of the day, you can have your opinions on the show; nobody is saying you can’t enjoy it, and nobody has been saying that. All I’ve been saying, at least, is to have some sense when it comes to people from marginalized backgrounds bringing up things you may not even consider. If you want to die behind the show and what it carries, fine, by all means, do that. But people see how you move on here, whether you think it’ll come off a certain way or not. We’re not stupid, I certainly am not even if some of y’all are thinking this all chronically online regurgitated bullshit as if my degree isn’t on the very institutional systems that harm us in modern day society and I have my personal experiences as a community member and legal advocate. Whatever you think of me doesn’t take away from the fact that marginalized voices are constantly suppressed, judged, and dogpiled everywhere constantly from those who don’t want to hear it or don’t care because it somehow interferes with their ability to enjoy things.

[quibbs126]

Oh yeah, I made these attempts at human designs for the TF One cast like a week ago, but I ended up becoming extremely paranoid I did something wrong so I never posted them

I think it was because that same day I had been reviewing my lectures for my online Anthropology exam due that night, which also talked about the unfortunate history of how anthropology had been used in the past, and that combined with my general overthinking and paranoia and the fact that I don’t know much on how to draw non-white features got me scared

But it’s a week later, I think the paranoia’s gone, and they’re just sitting in my files, so might as well. I was probably overthinking it

I’d say Orion probably looks the best, and Elita’s the worst. She’s probably the most in need of a rework. But overall it isn’t horrible?

Also as mentioned, and it was a thought while I was initially drawing this, I need to learn better how to draw non-white features, though I’m mostly thinking about noses and hair right now. With Bee I realized I don’t really know black hairstyles (though I was attempting to make Bee mixed here), especially for guys. I need to learn more, I’m just not entirely sure how

But yeah, these were some attempts I made. I don’t know if these designs will stick, there’s a chance I’ll rework them, or I might not ever use them again. But I might as well show you them

[boxxedsmosher05]

Ianthony week 2025 day 2: favourite modern moment

This moment right here with Ian gently caressing Anthony’s face and booping his nose HAS to be my favourite modern Ianthony moment, it’s so iconic and just really cute. No notes for this one, it’s just my absolute favourite clip of them together 🥹

(Also, here’s the link to my previous Ianthony week post that might’ve been made less visible due to a random automatic mature rating added to it that made no sense at all https://www.tumblr.com/boxxedsmosher05/786718254994440192/ianthony-week-2025-day-one-favourite-classic )

[sweetsylus]

i think one of the best parts about dating sylus would have to be how understanding/mature he is.

like when im feeling undesirable, weak, inadequate, etc., he gets that it’s not something you just say “no you’re not!!! you’re great/beautiful/whatever” to, and instantly, im gonna be like “wow you’re so right! i am great”

he’d get that years of such thinking can’t be changed overnight or fixed with one sentence

like of course, no one wants the love of their life to feel like that, but still. he wouldn’t let me wallow in it, but he would also give me the space to be able to have my own opinion about myself.

[angy-grrr]

spoilers for chapter 429

idk if you guys remember but ochako does have parallels with All Might, specifically as the side who saves. It’s not that he feels the same for them both or something like that, they serve to represent the type of heroism he naturally goes to; his friend is not his love interest, from his perspective she’s out there having a crisis over not being able to save her, and Izuku reminds her that she is a hero bc she is his hero -she saved him multiple times, and she should be able to feel like a proper hero.

This conversation is not about the nature of their relationship, is about heroism; Izuku relates to a conflict between being a hero who saves and failing to save someone, and doesn’t want to see Ochako ending spiraling because she couldn’t also fulfill that role as expected. She’s his hero not because he loves her romantically -he’s a nerd I’m sure he would be way more nervous and blushing if he was confessing anything he thought was romantic- but because she’s able to go and do what All Might does to Izuku, save him physically and emotionally.

He knows she hides her feelings in order to not be a burden, yet he doesn’t talk about his own feelings outside of his guilt in heroics -what does he feel about losing OFA? About his own failures? About the people he personally lost? He can’t talk for others and claim Ochako is everyone’s hero, but he can speak for himself, and that’s his personal perspective -she is a hero to him, she’s his hero. And then the class appears to make sure she’s able to get support and understand she’s not alone, and she’s important to them too.

but Izuku doesn’t get support. Izuku cries a little and talks a little about himself, but he doesn’t get supported. If this was meant to be romantic, I don’t understand why he would hold back what’s inside of him.

the end of the chapter reveals that boy is going to be helped by that woman who regretfully ignored Tenko, and they both witness it and are happy about it while hearing izuku inspired that change, and iida wonders what’s up with them -this is the conclusion to their relationship. In their hearts these two are saviors who struggle to be heroes who save others, and they are happy there are appearing more people who want to be heroes like them. Heroes who save. Save like All Might.

That grandma for example, interpreting the narrative as what I think is intended, would be that boy’s All Might; she’s his hero.

Izuku and Ochako are heroes who save, and Deku is here to remind her at least she did save him many times, that she is still a hero because she is his hero. I don’t believe is meant to be interpreted as romantic, not that Izuku sees that phrase as it neither -after all, he said he does want to be like All Might and feels good to imitate him, but he doesn’t love him.

Ochako’s All Might hair moment, the parallels with Toshinori telling him he can be a hero, the trying to save from black suffocating quirks, the we can do it and do your best…

Do I need to remind you heroes arent a romantic thing for Izuku Midoriya?

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

i am almost thirty years old. why must i still be plagued by the perpetual and unshakeable belief that everyone secretly dislikes me

[idkwhatimdoingbutslay]

Caitlyn literally went to war for the cooch. Caitlyn LOST AN EYE FOR THE COOCH. She set the bar imo.