#i fully acknowledge these probably just exist because they look cool lol

[signalterminated]

these masks almost feel like the previous masks peeled back, in a way? like their faces hardened into this gilded tarblack snarl, and then it decayed into what was left underneath: chainmail sewn into weathered bone. the funeral shrouds of warriors permanently fused in undeath.

[anim-ttrpgs]

Hi! I haven't had a chance to play Eureka yet, but having read it a while ago and following your posts further explaining some of the philosophies behind it, I just want to say that, as someone with multiple disabilities, what you're saying here is really cool and i appreciate it a lot.

I was really hesitant at first glance, probably because of how long I've felt the need to justify my existence by minimizing the accommodations and resources I ask for, even (and often) to my own detriment. The whole idea of being a burden cuts in to that and hits at the heart of the insecurity, so it was a little hard to hear spoken so plainly. Ultimately, though, seeing someone acknowledge that there is truth to that insecurity - I am, indeed, asking for a lot more from the people around me than a fully abled person would be - but that it in no way undermines the worth of my own life was really fulfilling. So yeah, thanks lol

Thank you!

(some links to previous posts about this topic that are being referenced)

I know exactly how you feel. I don’t want to speak for all disabled people, but the shame of being a burden is something that I think most of us probably feel to some degree or another, and something that we would be better off without, which is of course a big theme of Eureka’s monsters.

Hell, even “able-bodied” people need to be taken care of when they’re kids, when they’re old, and when they’re sick. The distinction “disabled” practically only exists to determine who gets minor legal exceptions in a society where you’re only valued by how much you can do particular kinds of work, and plenty of “able-bodied” people do have a lot of things about them that hinder them but just aren’t visible enough or quite bad enough to qualify for the legal distinction.

So really, it’s something I think a lot of people could stand to unlearn. A little bit of selfishness is okay sometimes.

Sometimes, people take offense to the part of the metaphor that involves the actual killing and eating of other people by monsters, and say that the disability comparison works for the monsters that don’t have to kill people, but not for the monsters that do have to kill people, especially with the fact that their targets will often end up being other vulnerable people and not cops or CEOs or something. I have a few thoughts about that.

For one, well, the cool thing about fiction and fantasy is that it can present a more extreme and entertaining version of the real life problems that the art is about.

Secondly, for some of those monsters that don’t have to kill their victims or even technically have to hurt people at all to avoid dying, well, structuring your life around personal deprivation to ensure that you never harm or burden anyone else ever is kind of the thing that this anon brings up, minimizing their accommodations and resource consumption to their own detriment. “Disabled people should go without as much as possible and subsist on the bare minimum resources to sustain them” is pretty much the complete opposite of Eureka’s themes and I feel like saying that the only acceptable disability metaphor monsters are the ones that have a slightly easier time subsisting on the bare minimum harm without literally dying is not good.

Then there’s the issue of who they eat. Really, they can try to eat whoever they want, but the “hunting tables” that provide opportunities when (and if) the monsters go out looking for victims are primarily comprised of pretty average, often pretty vulnerable people, including old people, young people, homeless or just obviously poor people, etc.

One of the reasons is because, well, non-vulnerable people aren’t vulnerable. When a healthcare CEO makes decisions that result in many poor people being unable to afford proper medicine and thus becoming disabled, the burdens that creates don’t fall back on them, they fall back on other poor people. When a politician makes policy decisions that result in more people being unable to get money for food without resorting to violence, that increase in crime doesn’t affect their fancy gated community, it affects poor people.

I talk about monsters in Eureka as a metaphor for disability a lot, but that purposefully isn’t the only valid reading. A lot of them can represent anyone whose needs are impossible to meet without taking from others.

Eureka isn’t a masturbatory CEO-eating simulator because it isn’t about wish fulfillment or power fantasy. First and foremost that burden will fall on the shoulders of one’s own community, not the rich guy causing all the problems. Eureka (and future A.N.I.M. games like Silk&Dagger) doesn’t present a world as it should be, it presents a world how it is. And Eureka says if being a bit selfish and burdensome to your own community is necessary for you to not only live, but live with any degree of happiness, then that shame and guilt isn’t helping anyone.

Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. If you’re just now reading this and learning about Eureka for the first time, you missed the crowdfunding window unfortunately, but you can still check out the public beta on itch.io to learn more about what Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy actually is, as that is where we have all the fancy art assets, the animated trailer, links to video reviews by podcasts and youtubers, etc.!

You can also follow updates on our Kickstarter page where we post regular updates on the status of our progress finishing the game and getting it ready for final release.

Beta Copies through the Patreon

If you want more, you can download regularly updated playable beta versions of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy earlier, plus extra content such as adventure modules by subscribing to our Patreon at the $5 tier or higher. Subscribing to our patreon also grants you access to our patreon discord server where you can talk to us directly and offer valuable feedback on our progress and projects.

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

If you would like to meet the A.N.I.M. team and even have a chance to play Eureka with us, you can join the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club discord server. It’s also just a great place to talk and discuss TTRPGs, so there is no schedule obligation, but the main purpose of it is to nominate, vote on, then read, discuss, and play different indie TTRPGs. We put playgroups together based on scheduling compatibility, so it’s all extremely flexible. This is a free discord server, separate from our patreon exclusive one. https://discord.gg/7jdP8FBPes

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

[bogmommy]

I mean I am chronically online and it doesn't seem ironic too me

Like the 1830s thing is the exact kind of thoughtless attitude she has shown in the past (reminds me of the comments about capitalism in time's article, like so weirdly thoughtless)

And the tattooed golden retriever... again it's on brand for her. She says stupid stuff like that about weird men (travis being sweet and metal... we know he doesn't wipe his ass)

Like none of these lyrics feel like Matty Healy lyrics. They just feel like previous bad taylor lyrics dialed up to a hundred. It's like Me! But so much worse (or do you think that was ironic too?)

It seems a lot more likely that shes just surrounded by yes men and has no self awareness then shes doing a really bad job of parodying people like Matty Healy. Because her impression is a million miles off and just sounds like her on a bad day

Like I believe if she was making fun of him and guys like him, she'd do a better job

here is the full paragraph that that is from (taken out of context it sounds HORRIBLE, i agree) and i personally focused on "USED to play a game"..."everyone would look down cause it wasn't fun now" = the game stops being fun once you point out something that breaks the bubble of romanticism, in this case that the social conditions were horrible; both bc of racism, and in the next line she also acknowledges misogyny. idk how people miss the part where she says that in hindsight the "game" wasn't fun at all and that she would have hated it in whichever decade. nostalgia is a mind's trick = romanticisng the past makes you forget/ignore that "back in the day" actually kind of sucked (to put it lightly).

she has definitely said a lot of weird things and i'm absolutely not going to defend every single one of her actions, but which artist/celebrity hasn't? 😭 didn't matty healy have a scandal recently bc of his involvement with racist/violent porn? and he heiled on stage a few years ago, was that also ironic? personally that's a lot more icky to be than "you touch me as your boys play gta", it's obviously a shitty lyric but like? 💀 idk. that's just a bit cringe, not a fucking hatecrime. " I pissed myself on the Texan intersection" isn't particularily poetic to me either tbh.

i thought the tattooed golden retriever thing was a reference to that tiktok thing where people call their boyfriends "golden retriever coded" bc they're himbos. a LOT of people called joe alwyn that, and the whole song is making fun of him SO MUCH but again i guess you have to be a very specific type of chronically online find some of these things funny, otherwise it does sound stupid; when i saw an excerpt of that before i listened to it i was ready to HATE this album because it does genuinely sound SO bad out of context.

as for ME!, it's an atrocity and i try to pretend it doesn't exist ❤️ same with the entirety of reputation tbh and like half the songs from midnights, i hate it when she tries to be ~tough~ and ~cool~ and i don't think i will ever like those albums but i actually liked TTPD and it annoys me when people shit on things bc they don't understand them. i don't particularily care for her as a person, but i like a lot of her music bc i think it's just. fun to listen to? i like upbeat songs 😭 and i do find some of the songs to be relatable etc but i'm FULLY aware of the fact that some people just "don't get it" - i'm like that too with a lot of artists and that's completely fine! but i keep my opinions about them to myself :D

however at the end of the day i don't think she cares if people "get" the album or not; she probably did it for shits and giggles and it's not as if she won't afford to put bread on the table if this album flops lol. i don't even know why i got so worked up about this, i might be getting hangry tbh

[wedreamedlove]

Xu Mo vs. Mo Yi [Character Study]

I can never get over the aesthetic of these two pictures placed side by side LOL. But, anyway, the point of this post is to nip any undue comparisons in the bud and claims of copying organize my thoughts and compare these two characters to highlight their similarities, differences, and further explore each character through these contrasts.

Q) If you like Xu Mo, would you like Mo Yi?

Honestly, I think this depends on what you like most about Xu Mo. I already knew beforehand that I gravitate towards characters who think 5 steps ahead, are predominantly logical, and scholars/gentlemen, so it’s not surprising I bias both Xu Mo and Mo Yi.

However, as I got to know Mo Yi further (Themis is around 6 months old now), I find that he’s distinctively different from Xu Mo on three crucial points that’ll determine whether people from either camp will like the other character.

1) Stance on Others

In a post for Xu Mo, “Into Your World”, I argued that Xu Mo is an alienated genius who had troubles getting along with others, until he mastered the social game as an adult. However, you can still see glimpses of this as he tries to understand MC’s world and shares his own.

To be fair, Mo Yi’s past is still under wraps but I feel confident in saying that, while he was probably highly intelligent compared to his peers [SR Sculpted Heart], his isolation doesn’t seem to come from his innate nature but rather his social position (there’s heavy implications that he’s like some sort of noble or something) [SR Snowy Pine Fairytale].

IMO, these backgrounds really shaped the way these two men interact with the world.

Xu Mo has a detached and indifferent view towards other people. They simply exist and don’t bring anything positive or negative to him. His ambition to ensure the survival of humanity reflects this too because it’s pure utilitarianism; everyone (apart from MC) can be sacrificed equally for the greater good. If anything, he probably finds other people to be interesting subjects to study, no matter what kind of person they are. IIRC the only time he expressed dislike to people, or a group of people, was when he told Hades he enjoyed killing thieves LOL.

Meanwhile, Mo Yi has an elitist streak to the point where he and his MC actually clashed opinions and debated each other [SR Warm Fingertips]. It’s incredibly ironic because he’s a psychiatrist who treats his patients without judgment, but at the same time he looks down on so many things and people (PUAs, people who betray love, hypocrites who only seek power and fame) [Ch2; Personal Story Ch1-3; SSR Moonlit Ball].

One of the things I noticed early on is that Xu Mo draws from the Eastern scholar archetype, “Xu Mo Character Study”, while Mo Yi actually draws more from the Western gentleman archetype.

So, just to summarize this section, Xu Mo is detached from the world naturally and likes to observe people and try to blend in. Mo Yi deliberately draws a line between him and others and, at times, has the casual cruelty of someone born as nobility (arrogance is carved into his bones, even if he tends to keep it low-key because he generally has a “gentle and polite” attitude).

2) Stance on Love

Xu Mo didn’t understand love, or really even emotions. Love is grown between him and his MC (there’s multiple analogies throughout the game about how their love is like a seed). I think [Ch25] pretty much sums it up for Xu Mo, where he goes through that emotional rollercoaster and muses about how, at the end of human evolution, emotions should be discarded. He also admits that MC taught him the “fear” of a normal person, because now he has someone he cannot give up no matter what, which goes against his previous utilitarian beliefs.

Compared to this, Mo Yi fell in love at first sight. Yes, you read that right. The “scientist and logical” archetype fell in love at first sight LOL. Not only does he acknowledge it right off the bat, but he fully embraces it too and believes that real love makes people better versions of themselves [Personal Story]. Mo Yi is a through and through psychiatrist in that he never underestimates how primal emotions (and love) can be.

Heck, not only is this central to his personal story, but we also have hints that one of Mo Yi’s parents fell in love at first sight with the other person (and he inherited their predisposition for that). Unfortunately, their love had a tragic end and Mo Yi seems to have a huge grudge against his father for whatever happened to his mother (again, Mihoyo is keeping this a mystery LOL), but Mo Yi explicitly confirms that even if his love leads to a tragic end he will still walk down this road and attempt to change it [SR Cool Summer].

IMO one other difference between them re: love is this exchange that lives rent free in my head which I saw in a Xu Mo/Reader/Mo Yi fanfiction LOL. Bear with me here.

Mo Yi: Wearing a mask for a long time will tire you.

Xu Mo: It’s enough just to wear one in front of the necessary person.

Xu Mo and his MC make great efforts to understand each other’s worlds, but this understanding comes from the doors he chooses to open to her. He reveals himself as much as possible, but I think he’s an inherently private person (and there’s all that Ares stuff) so there are times where he hides things so that he doesn’t worry his MC. I think this is enough to count as a “mask”. Sometimes he pretends he’s okay when he’s not.

On the other hand, while I think Mo Yi shares the sentiment in not wanting his MC to worry unduly, he tries to reveal himself as much as possible. There’s an amazingly relatable conflict in him here where he wants her to know every side of him, but he’s also terrified of how she’ll react if he shows her his ugliest sides and imperfect sides (he has some sort of phobia or fear about imperfection, but Mihoyo has been keeping mum on the exact details of this so far) [Personal Story; SR Sculpted Heart].

It’s pretty ironic that Mo Yi wants to be perfect, but he realizes that the more perfect he is the more of a sense of distance there’ll be between him and his MC because of the subconscious pressure someone “perfect” brings LOL [SSR Border of Light and Darkness].

3) Stance on Growth

If you haven’t realized that one of Xu Mo’s greatest themes is the phrase “Take your time in growing”, then what have you been reading? Jkjk, but seriously this gets repeated in multiple places, although my brain always goes back to [Blossom Date] for this.

Even if he and his MC start off with fundamental differences (she believes all people have inherent worth and can’t be involuntarily sacrificed), he wants to personally watch the journey of her maturation. He also subtly guides and teaches her. Unfortunately, due to circumstances of the main story, he doesn’t get his wish and she grows up a lot out of his eyes, but their relationship still revolves around him wanting her to have as much time as possible to grow.

He’s, for a lack of better word, extremely gentle about this (setting aside as much of the Ares and story parts as we can, because LovePro’s story is tragedy on tragedy LOL). I think [Autumn Blaze Date] shows a good analogy for this, because he holds the bicycle steady for MC until she can get going on her own, and he also catches her the first time.

Meanwhile, Mo Yi... ha ha ha. I just came out of chapter 3 for his [Personal Story] and let’s just say his philosophy is tough love. It’s ironic because, in many of his other dates, he wrestles with an internal conflict to protect his MC but also to let her experience all sorts of things to both test and temper her.

This is going to touch on the previous topic about love for a moment, but a part of Mo Yi’s love at first sight experience is also “testing” the other person through all sorts of situations and, after seeing all their different sides, he can determine whether his love at first sight is one that’ll last for the rest of his life or if it’s just a fleeting moment of beauty and emotion.

He also extremely respects his MC’s sense of justice and pursuit of the truth in the world, no matter what she encounters, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is what drew him to her in the first place. But MC’s occupation and beliefs will make her confront a lot of dark and dangerous things and so, whenever possible, Mo Yi lets her confront these in “controlled” situations to train her. If I had to make an analogy, IMO, he’d let his MC ride the bicycle and pick her up only after she falls, or when she’s like 0.1cm away from the ground LOL.

Mo Yi is (perhaps rightfully) called out on this by another character, who believes Mo Yi is too arrogant in believing everything is under his control and he can prevent MC from getting hurt whenever he lets her get into dangerous situations, and I’m interested to see if Mihoyo will let him experience failures with his philosophy so he can grow more, like the things Xu Mo went through re: his personal beliefs [Ch24].

Overall

I don’t know how well I explained myself, especially for people who don’t know anything about Mo Yi, and each section goes back and forth between the two characters LOL so here’s another section that attempts to describe their overall atmosphere.

If, like I said in my Headcanon Notes, Xu Mo makes me immediately think of all the words for soft, gentle, light, still, water, etc etc., then the words I constantly think about for Mo Yi is messily human. He’s like a bundle of contradictions, but coherent because it’s being intentionally done.

Mo Yi doesn’t discriminate against his patients, yet he can be elitist and looks down on others. He wants to let MC have dangerous experiences, but also wants to protect her. He wants to be perfect, but he also wants to reveal himself entirely to his MC because that’s real love.

In contrast, Xu Mo has a very clean and orderly personality LOL. You can draw clear cause and effect lines from his personality to his actions.

So, anyway, these are two interesting characters who start off with similar archetypes as scientific logical men of scholar/gentleman dispositions, but yet they’re also on opposite ends for a lot of things such as their approach to emotions and the world.

Oh wait, lastly, because I don’t have a good place to put this—but I think it’s funny—is that both characters are pretty possessive and greedy, but while Xu Mo does things in a sneaky, cunning and fox-like way Mo Yi gets ridiculously open about his jealousy and it’s hilariously cute but also almost childish? I often forget Mo Yi is older than Xu Mo by a year, because Xu Mo honestly feels a bit more mature than him LOL. If we count them actually aging by when their game came out though, then Mo Yi is 28 and Xu Mo is 29 now.

[morwensteelsheen]

I might have just hallucinated this but at some point i saw something (maybe it was a fic? Idk) exploring Eowyn meeting Glorfindel. Just for fun do you have any thoughts on how that might have gone? I always thought it was an interesting little detail that so many elves were present in Edoras for Theoden's funeral/the trothplighting and wonder what they might have made of all that. It seemed to me a changing of the guard in a way as the age of elves was ending and the age of men began ascending

Oooh, fun question, and that's really such a beautiful way of putting that, I love the idea of it as a changing of the guard.

You definitely didn't hallucinate that fic, I'm trying to find it now — will update when I do!

So I think there are a few main factors that go into deciding what Éowyn would have thought about meeting Glorfindel, and vice versa. I’ll start with Éowyn because that’s what I’m more comfortable with.

The three main questions to answer here are: 1) Éowyn’s thoughts on the Elves generally 2) Éowyn’s awareness of the prophesy/the lore surrounding the Witch-king and 3) the extent to which Éowyn is impressed (or not impressed) by impressive things.

We’ll start with 1. Which rocks because it’s the one we have the least textual evidence for — classic! Legolas is almost certainly the first Elf she’s ever interacted with, and we see basically no interactions between them. So we have to look to the next Elves she sees which are… Elladan and Elrohir. And on those fellas, she’s got nothing particularly interesting to say:

The Lady Éowyn greeted them and was glad of their coming; for no mightier men had she seen than the Dúnedain and the fair sons of Elrond; but on Aragorn most of all her eyes rested.

So, she (rightly) thinks they’re pretty and strong, but really has nothing much else to say beyond that. This is mostly because she’s focussed entirely on Aragorn, but you’d think if she was going to have any strong reactions, now would be the time. Textually this is all we get, so now I get to dive into my HC. I think she’s basically unimpressed by them generally. Not outright hostile, because she’ll have seen what part they played in the war and have tremendous respect for them for that, but they’re not really a thing that exists in her life, so to speak. Plus, the first person she really talks to for any extended period of time who’s going to have any strong opinions on the Elves is Faramir and he is, objectively, deeply ambivalent (see: his takes on dealing with Galadriel and the Elves in Two Towers. King of Not Giving A Fuck).

On the Elf Question, she’s probably going to come to them with a general level of ambivalence and, maybe, some scepticism, and maybe some feelings of discomfort. They’re just very, very outwith her ken.

Okay onto 2. The prophesy and the lore. Yeah, Éowyn almost certainly knows jack shit about this. Not because she’s dumb, but just because it’s, again, not really part of her world. The Battle of Fornost is a somewhat significant battle, all things considered, but it’s so far before the establishment of the Mark that it’s unlikely they’re going to be dealing with the specifics of it, and certainly even less so with the airy-fairy shit some twunk is spouting off afterwards. Going into her fight, she’s really not going to know why it should matter that she’s not a dude, she just knows that the Witch king is bad and she wants him gone. She might not even know who Glorfindel is, to be honest! Which is also going to be funny because for those in the know, Glorfindel is, like, literally Jesus Christ Superstar. The question really is how many people know? The Gondorrim fo sho, I struggle with the extent to which the Rohirrim are versed in this sort of stuff. Éomer, maybe. Certainly he’s going to be briefed, being the King of the Mark and all that, but how much gets passed along to Éowyn? I’m not sure. My heart says all of it, my head says basically none.

And 3., how much is Éowyn impressed by impressive things? Well, that can go either way. She’s obviously very impressed by Aragorn, but that could be/is as much an emotional response to the act of heroism she sees as it is to his general impressiveness. The next impressive thing we see her deal with is the Witch king and, again, this is coloured by emotion, but she really does not seem impressed At All by him. So unimpressed, actually, that where braver men turned tail and hauled ass out of there, she starts monologuing lol. The next impressive thing is Minas Tirith, Gondor generally, and Faramir. She’s very iffy on all of these things, she’s certainly not much impressed by the power or majesty of it all, and it takes a lot of concessions on Faramir’s behalf before she’s out and out ready to deal with him. So, yeah. Not easily impressed our Éowyn.

Glorfindel, by comparison, is an absolute delight of a character who is almost certainly deeply, deeply impressed with Éowyn. And, I think importantly, is not liable to get bogged down into the hooha about whether or not it’s Merry or Éowyn who fulfils the prophesy. I think he’s going to be fucking thrilled to death (in his own, neat and tidy way) about Éowyn being who she is. His approach to this is going to be much less complicated than Éowyn’s — he’s seen fucking loads of great heroes in his life, no matter how cool she is, she’s just another one of them, so he’s not going to be starstruck.

I think their actual meeting would be fairly lowkey, particularly if it’s at any sort of major event. I might even go so far as to say that Éowyn’s not really going to differentiate between him and any of the other Elves that are cutting about unless someone either 1) explicitly gives her a heads up in advance or 2) he goes out of his way to explain who he is and what their implicit relationship to one another is. For my part, I’m not certain he would.

Part of the problem with dealing with this question is that Glorfindel is Tolkien’s hero’s hero. He’s a hero nonpareil, basically so heroic that he lacks any real distinguishable personality beyond inherent nobility, goodness, and courage. In any interaction between them, Glorfindel would sort of being fulfilling the role of a character trope, and Éowyn would be providing the bulk of the personality. Given that, I think I’m pretty comfortable in saying that Glorfindel would probably approach Éowyn as a warrior equal, and would compliment her on her feat, but would not, I think, necessarily be hanging around to chat complex history with her. If anything it’s probably going to be a drive-by conversation. They’ll meet, he’ll congratulate her, he’ll go on with his life. I don’t think she’s going to be starstruck by meeting him.

I also think she’s going to be at a very specific point in her life at any point where they could reasonably meet where she’s probably not going to be all giggly/happy/proud of herself for having killed the Witch king. It’s still going to be a really sore, traumatic moment in her life that’s going to be wrapped up in so many other negative emotions (not least of which is her stunted catharsis — which I am intending to write about later) that she’s probably fine acknowledging it but is maybe a bit emotionally ehhh on it. If he, say, swings by Emyn Arnen in TA 3021, maybe she’ll be a little more up for chatting happily about it and swapping war stories. But I think at Théoden’s funeral or Aragorn and Arwen’s wedding she’s just not going to be in the right place for big hype over it. And I suspect Glorfindel would recognise that and be respectful of it — he, too, has seen some shit.

What would be fucking fun is everybody who’d be trying to watch that interaction, especially if it’s going on at an event or in public. The rubbernecking would be absurd. For all his Elf ambivalence, I’d put a decent amount of money down to say that Faramir would be hauling ass over there to be a part of that conversation — mostly out of a detached academic interest, it’s not often you see the heroes of your childhood stories/Tolkien Jesus come walking up to congratulate your wife on being radge as fuck. If Aragorn’s around/aware, he’s definitely got some level of pride going on over it, and would probably try to see it from afar, if not being around for it. Éomer’s definitely hyped even if he’s not really got the full significance of it down, there’s no way he’s not going to be impressed by Glorfindel’s biography. Everybody else, even those without a personal connection to either of them, is probably watching because it’d be a cool as shit thing to see. I don’t fully understand the significance of, like, public marriage proposals or whatever, but if I see one happening I’m gonna watch it. That sort of thing.

[taxicabinmemphis]

7 and 1 with logan and whoever? H!!

“And did I mention, I’m sorry?”

“Stop being so dramatic.”

I hope the order doesn’t matter lol. Romantic Logince, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it background Dukexiety

(tw food)

Logan was dreading it. Valentine’s Day. Even putting aside how illogical the holiday was, he had other reasons for disliking it. There was someone he wanted to spend the day with—someone who surely didn’t want to spend it with him. Someone who had been hyping up the holiday since January second, the most romantic one of all...

...Roman.

No, it made no sense. No logical explanation for his feelings existed as far as he could tell, and even if it were logical to fall in love, loving who he loved made no sense. They basically hated each other. However, Logan was very sure of his feelings and had made peace with what they were.

(Of course, he had trouble at first. A lot of it. But his realization was eight months before this so he had some time to come to terms with things.)

So now, Logan was standing in front of his bathroom mirror, composing himself. Obviously, the day would be hard. Roman would be flaunting all through the holiday, celebrating love, finding love, and being loved. For all Logan knew, Roman could have found himself a date just for this day that Logan wasn’t aware of.

He took a deep breath and left his room. He walked into the kitchen and went straight to the coffee maker, ignoring the pink and red decorations surely put up by Roman.

He got a mug out from the cabinet and poured himself some coffee.

“Logan!” Roman exclaimed, bounding into the room when he spotted the logical man. “You’re up!”

Logan made a grumbling noise of acknowledgement, silently wishing the coffee wasn’t scalding hot and he could have some right then.

“Oh, come on, show some enthusiasm!” Roman said with a jump. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”

“Really?” Logan asked sarcastically, gesturing to the banner Roman hung up in the middle of the dining room. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Don’t be such a spoilsport, Specs.”

“Don’t bother me before my coffee,” Logan shot back.

Roman raised an unimpressed eyebrow, accompanying Logan as the latter took a seat at the table. “I’m not bothering you, I was greeting you.”

“What’s the difference?” Logan asked with a shrug, blowing on the coffee. “If you’re doing it, it’s sure to fall under both categories.”

Roman gasped in offense, putting a hand over his heart. “You hurt my heart this way? On the day of love?”

Virgil walked past them and to the coffee maker, clearly having just gotten up. “It’s the day of capitalization of straight couples in America, not love. Love doesn’t get a day, Princey.”

“Thank you, Virgil,” Logan agreed, but spared a lingering glance at Roman. “And your hand’s on the wrong side, Roman.”

Roman frowned and dropped his hand from his chest. Virgil left after pouring himself coffee, gone as soon as he came. He didn’t have much care for the holiday either. However, Logan imagined he wasn’t internally cursing his existence like Logan currently was. The emo did have a boyfriend, after all.

“I thought you’d be on my side this year, Virge!” Roman called after him.

Virgil took a step back and met eyes with Roman. “Dating your brother doesn’t make me share your opinions, moron. Nor does it make me blind to reality.”

The corners of Logan’s lips twitched and he took another sip of coffee. Roman sighed and dropped his arms on the table.

“Why do you insist on bothering me about my lack of enthusiasm,” Logan asked slowly, “when you let Virgil go just like that?”

“Remus’ll make him come around.”

“Nothing indicates Virgil’s views will change,” Logan pointed out.

“Maybe, but Remus’ll treat him to a good day and Virgil will enjoy it,” Roman explained. “You, however, seem resolute on bringing down love.”

Logan didn’t reply, but sipped his coffee.

“Ugh,” Roman groaned, dragging himself out of the seat, “you’re impossible.”

Logan hummed, continuing to nurse his coffee. He spotted a book on the table and immediately took it, opening it to the first page, not even caring to read the title. He was desperate for anything to distract himself from Roman’s dramatics. Holing himself up in his room would only make him suspicious.

Roman walked over to the sofa, grabbing a box that was lying on its arm. He brought it over to Logan and set it in front of him.

“Open it,” Roman said excitedly.

“I’m reading,” Logan declined monotonously.

“I can see that,” Roman said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Now put the book down and open it.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Please,” Roman begged, holding out the word and giving Logan puppy dog eyes.

Logan sighed and glanced at Roman, doing a double take when he noticed the puppy dog eyes. Logan stared at him for a second, before rolling his eyes and putting the book down.

He looked down at the pink box, only closed with a clasp. Logan undid it. He tilted the lid up.

Confetti exploded in his face and into the air, the pink and red fluttering up in the air and then back down onto a solid surface. Logan was very grateful for his glasses. His coffee was not as lucky as his eyes, however.

Logan exhaled slowly, extremely annoyed. He also found the action endearing, as well as the hopeful and excited look on Roman’s face, but Logan knew he couldn’t say that.

“Roman,” he started slowly, finding the right words, “it got in my coffee.”

Roman’s shoulders slumped, adorable smile disappearing off his face. Logan was both happy, as he was no longer tortured with having to look at the smile and not react to it in a loving manner, but also sad and slightly concerned as it meant his love wasn’t as happy as before.

“I can get you more?” he asked quietly.

Logan resisted every urge to stand up and cradle the prince’s face in his hands.

“That will not be necessary,” Logan said with a curt nod, getting up.

“Where are you going?” Roman asked, volume the same as before.

“I am getting more. I may not be pleasurable to be around, but I am even less so before coffee.”

Roman frowned, volume returning to his voice. “That’s-there’s-what...”

Logan stopped his journey, turning around and raising an eyebrow.

Roman’s heart fluttered at the sheer beauty of Logan’s face, but he was able to answer, used to being affected by a single look Logan gave him. “There’s a lot of things wrong with what you just said.”

Logan shrugged, walking over to the sink and pouring his coffee down the drain. He picked out the confetti and put it in the trash. He washed his hands and turned to see Roman facing him with a huge grin on his face and a full, steaming coffee mug in his hand.

The mug would likely have been Logan’s last choice (except for the ones without handles and the one coated in glitter that belonged to Roman). It was pink with a red heart on either side and a red handle. Lovey, mushy, and not at all what Logan wanted to be reminded of.

He took the mug graciously, giving Roman a thankful nod. “Your kindness is appreciated, Roman.”

“See? You’re not all bad before your coffee,” Roman teased lightly.

Logan huffed and walked back over to the table, sitting back down. He picked up the book he had been reading before, waiting for his coffee to cool a bit so he could drink it. Roman watched him for a second before pulling his phone out of his pocket. He connected it to a bluetooth speaker that was near them and put on a playlist. Logan vaguely recognized the song playing as a cheesy love song he’d heard on the radio maybe once before.

Roman put his phone down and shuffled over to Logan. He held out his hand. “Will you dance with me?”

Logan stared at the outstretched hand for a moment before turning back to his coffee. “I’m drinking coffee right now.”

“You can dance with me while it cools!”

Logan shook his head, turning back to his book. “I don’t dance.”

“I can teach you.”

“I don’t want to dance,” Logan specified.

Roman crossed his arms. “Not even with me?”

Logan opened his mouth, an insulting retort ready to leave his lips as a knee-jerk response (they argued way too much), but closed it as he didn’t want to hurt the prince on his favorite holiday. “No.”

Roman walked over to the couch and sat down. Logan’s eyes followed him, the creative man seeming to be both disappointed and deep in thought. Logan wondered what happened to make Roman so disappointed. Logan figured that a dance alone couldn’t have that much effect. He went back to his coffee.

---

Roman returned to where Logan was. He had gone upstairs to his room a couple hours before but was now back and looking very excited. He approached Logan, who seemed to be working. He was writing on a sheet of notebook paper, pen gliding across the page quickly.

Roman only took a second to admire Logan, though, and walked in front of the logical man and cleared his throat.

Logan didn’t even flinch.

Roman didn’t let that bother him, though, and decided that he could do what he was going to without getting Logan’s attention beforehand. He opened his phone, reconnected it to the speaker, and put on a karaoke instrumental of what Logan determined to be another cheesy love song.

Roman stood on the coffee table in front of the sofa and started to sing. Logan couldn’t help but listen intently, attention fully stolen from his work. He didn’t dare look, though, as he knew he would get captivated from every last thing about the dramatic man and not be able to look away for the duration of the performance. Logan didn’t want Roman catching him looking at him like that.

When Roman got half way through the song, he almost stopped. Logan hadn’t looked up from his work or even acknowledged his actions. He stopped writing, probably not able to focus because of the noise. Nevertheless, Roman soldiered on, deciding to sing louder and more passionately in the hopes of gaining the attention of the prince of his dreams.

Logan still hadn’t looked up by the time the song came to its end. When it did, he went back to writing, trying his hardest to force the memory of Roman’s angelic and tantalizing voice from his head.

Roman frowned, getting down from the coffee table ungracefully. He didn’t want to seem too dejected, though, as it was the day of love. So, he walked into the kitchen and took something down from the top of the fridge. He walked back over to Logan, who seemed to be writing incredibly quickly.

“Logan,” Roman said, standing in front of the busy man.

Logan’s writing pace slowed but he didn’t look up.

“I have something for you,” Roman tried, holding out a heart-shaped box of chocolates, a small but hopeful smile betraying his better judgement. At this point, Roman knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Considering Logan’s reactions to everything Roman had done so far, the red prince’s love was likely unrequited.

Logan finished his sentence and slowly looked up. He suppressed a surprised gasp at the romantic gift. His heart ached; he so desperately wanted to accept it but his heart couldn’t be played with like this. It was clear to Logan that Roman had prepared everything for a boyfriend he intended to get before Valentine’s Day, and, when that didn’t happen, was now demonstrating his efforts to Logan. Either that, or Roman was bored and in the Valentine’s Day mood. Roman didn’t feel for him that way. Not after all the late nights spent venting to Logan about how much he wanted a boyfriend, or about a cute guy he had seen that day.

Logan refused to hope. He didn’t even dare entertain the thought.

“Did you like my singing?” Roman asked when he noticed Logan’s attention on him. He held the box closer to Logan, hoping he’d take it.

Logan didn’t want to answer that. He didn’t want to lie and unnecessarily hurt Roman’s feelings but he also didn’t want to reveal his feelings by accidentally going on a rant. So, he focused on the chocolates instead.

“These are typically reserved for romantic dates and outings,” Logan stated, hand ghosting over the top of the box. “I’m sure someone would be very interested in this if he were on a date with you.”

Roman couldn’t believe how oblivious Logan was. He decided not to comment on it. “Maybe. It’s yours, though, if you want it.”

“Sugary foods are unhealthy and I do not prefer to eat them in larger amounts,” Logan said, deflecting the offer. “I’m sure someone else here would appreciate it more than me.”

Roman looked up. “You don’t appreciate it?”

Logan sighed. “Of course the fact that you thought of me counts for something, but ultimately it’s hard to find meaningful appreciation when there’s no reasoning for what you’re giving me, especially if it’s not something I take interest in.”

“You don’t appreciate it.”

“I do, just not as much as someone else would if they were given it.” Logan turned back to the paper and fixed his glasses.

Roman regained himself from the rejection of his gift. He set it on the table, so Logan could still have it if he wanted it. “What about my singing?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you like my singing?” Roman asked hopefully.

“I don’t understand why that matters. I’m one man. The quality of your voice doesn’t depend on my opinion of it.”

“I know it doesn’t,” Roman said, fiddling with the cloth of his outfit. “I just wanted to hear your opinion. The soul of music is found in the hearts of its audience!” He threw his hands in the air at the last statement and tilted his chin up to illustrate the drama in his words.

Logan rolled his eyes. “Stop being so dramatic. I suggest you do something better with your day than waste it on grand displays of passion for a capitalist holiday. I need to work.”

Roman’s heart dropped, every drop of confidence gone. That was it. Logan was the last person who would ever have interest in him. Roman had been rejected on the most romantic day of the year.

“Oh. Okay,” Roman said resignedly.

But he still had another thing for Logan!

Logan’s eyes widened, heart stopping and voice catching in his throat. His movements stopped. He went over the last few things he said and realized how cold he sounded. While that shouldn’t affect Roman as Logan was known for his coldness, he was rarely so unkind.

Roman walked over to the sofa where one last gift for Logan was. He decided that even if Logan had rejected him, he could still keep what Roman had gotten for him. He took it off the couch and walked back over to Logan.

“Roman, I would like t-” Logan started.

“Logan, I also have this,” Roman interrupted quietly.

Logan raised his eyebrows in surprise. Something else? Roman was really going to all this trouble for someone so cold and unkind on Valentine’s Day?

“Catch,” Roman said, throwing it his way, not wanting to be put on the spot right in front of the logical man where he could see the heartbreak in Roman’s eyes when he inevitably rejected it.

Logan’s arm shot up above him and caught the item, anxiety over missing and making a fool of himself in front of Roman increasing his catching skills that were normally nonexistent. He brought it in front of him, tilting his head as his eyes registered a cliché brown Valentine’s Day teddy bear that was holding a red heart that said ‘I love you’ on it in white cursive.

“It’s a stuffed bear,” Logan commented.

“Yes,” Roman said nervously, fiddling with his fingers. “It’s a classic-”

“The heart claims the bear loves me,” Logan observed. “Typical present for a significant other on Valentine’s Day.”

“Yes, well, there’s something sweet about tradition, isn’t there?”

“Surely. Roman, wh-”

“Do you like him?”

Logan sighed. “Roman, he’s a functional stuffed bear, however-”

“I thought flowers were too cliché, but if they are something you’d be interest-”

“Roman, I need to as-”

“-ed in, then I can do that easy as there is still a lot of time left in the day, but if that’s too much then I can promise that the chocolates are some of your fav-”

“Roman, I’m afraid you’re-”

“-orite, so please feel free to enjoy them.”

“Overthinking is very dangerous, so please listen to-”

“I know Valentine’s isn’t your thing, but I thought the bear was cute...”

“Roman-”

“It says ‘I love you’ which isn’t something crazy and dramatic and overwhelming like something I’d usually say, so I thought you’d appreciate that...”

“Roman! Listen to m-”

Roman looked fearful and anxious. “I get that this is a lot and you told me to stop with all this, so you’re probably angry but I just wan-”

“Roman, stop!” Logan commanded, standing from his seat. He put his hands on the desk and looked at Roman with an intense conviction.

Roman flinched back.

Logan’s gaze softened. “Roman, just listen to me for a second.”

“I-I’m sorry-”

“I just needed to ask you something,” he said, voice getting softer. “However, I also need to address something as well.”

“Whatever I’ve done-”

“Shh,” Logan said lightly, a concerned look washing over his face. “Just listen.”

Roman was still frightened and timid, but nodded, saying nothing.

“You’re overthinking right now, and jumping to too many conclusions. While they are understandable, you have to stop.”

Roman looked down in shame. Logan walked away from the table and stood in front of Roman. His hand reached for Roman’s chin, but decided against forcing the scared prince to face him.

“That kind of thinking is very unhealthy and blocks out anything could prove those spiraling thoughts otherwise. I implore you to only take what I tell you now as insight into my thoughts and emotions, not your anxiety.”

Roman nodded.

“Okay, now, I have a question for you. May I ask it?”

Roman nodded again.

“Why did you do all this?” Logan asked. “The singing, the chocolates, the bear. All for me. Why? Surely someone like you could easily get a date for this holiday. My guess is that you had one already and they cancelled after you prepared all of this. Would that be correct?”

Roman shook his head, indicating a negative.

Logan frowned. “Alright, then. Would you tell me why you did all this?”

Roman’s head tilted up a little but he still didn’t look at Logan. “I’m sorry if I’ve-”

“You’re spiraling,” Logan reminded him.

Roman stopped, shifting his sentence. “Okay, um, I guess I can tell you. I did it because...” he paused, taking a breath, before glancing at Logan’s eyes uncertainly, “...do you really not get it?”

“If I got it then I wouldn’t have asked.”

“Gosh, you’re so oblivious,” Roman muttered under his breath. “Smart but dense. Should’ve known.” He shook his head, the thoughts leaving. “I did it because I’ve been planning it for a while. I figured that the easiest way to show your love for someone was to do it on the day of love.”

Oh.

Logan blinked animatedly a couple times, the implications settling in.

Roman loved him.

He wondered why he didn’t see it before.

“Now, as you’ve shown, you in no way feel similarly. That’s okay. I fear, however, that I took it too far and offended you. If that happened, I’m sorry, I love and care for you and am more invested in making you happy than I am in convincing you to be with me. I in no way meant to disrespect you or ignore your wishes, all I wanted was to demonstrate how much I love you. I see now that I should have picked up on your cues and body language and subtext and stopped as soon as I noticed your disinterest and lack of comfort, but-”

“Roman-”

“I just love you so m-”

“Let me respond, please.”

“-uch, and I just had to do something about it-”

“Roman.”

“-but I see now that you are unhappy with my actions and I have ruined your day so you have my word that I will never act on my love for you again-”

“Please, Roman, for the sake of Nikola Tesla, just let me respond.”

Logan put a finger in front of Roman’s mouth as he knew the romantic man wouldn’t stop.

“I told you, please stop overthinking this. You are spiraling again.” Logan paused. “I need to address this matter, about what you’ve brought up.”

“Mm hmm,” Roman agreed, albeit nervously.

“I don’t know how to put it,” Logan murmured quickly. He furrowed his eyebrows, searching for the right words. “Let’s just say...that I would be very disappointed—” he took a deep breath, “—if you never acted on your romantic feelings for me again, and...I invite you to indulge in them for as long as time and our emotions permit you.”

Roman’s eyes widened in shock, jaw dropping and brown irises sparkling with happiness. He finally met Logan’s eyes.

“And, with your permission...” Logan fiddled with the plush fabric of the stuffed bear. “I’d like to indulge myself in my own romant- my own love, for you.”

Roman suppressed a gasp and bit his lip. Part of him wanted to squeal and kiss Logan while another wanted to cry tears of joy. His hands went to his mouth but he didn’t want to seem too cartoonish so instead they just flied around in the air, hesitating in their graceless movements every couple seconds.

“I...”

“You what, my prince?”

A grin slowly grew on Roman’s face. “I love you and I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Indulge yourself, my love.”

An arm wrapped around Logan’s waist and pulled him into the creative man’s arms, his other hand going to his love’s jaw.

Their lips met like a controlled fire; it was something red-hot from months of desire, but not uncontrollably bright. It was just as passionate as it should have been.

Logan’s arms went around Roman’s neck as Roman pulled him as close as he possibly could. He then picked Logan up by the thighs and set him on the table.

A couple minutes later, they pulled apart, eyes closed. Logan smiled and grazed his thumb across Roman’s bottom lip.

“I love you, Roman, did I say that?” he whispered.

“Basically,” Roman replied at the same volume.

“And did I mention, I’m sorry? And that I loved your singing?” he murmured.

“No.” Roman kissed Logan’s lips again for no more than half a second. “But I forgive you and am glad you loved my singing.”

Logan hummed and ran his hand through Roman’s hair. “I might require another kiss if I am to remain sane. Would you-”

And their lips met once again.

~

Hope you liked it! Sorry the rest of these prompts are late, I asked for the prompts pretty late into the night lol so they’re gonna take awhile and then also school. Also yes I know this got long don’t kill me.

[reineyday]

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

[missmillyashford]

Eight Hundred Eyes Are Better Than One - Reaction

I should have done this a long time ago but I just reread this chapter and reacted to it as I went if you’re interested @anbu-legacy

Because I’ve had a grudge against canon Jiraiya for so long it’s been an interesting but slow process of adjusting to this (better) version of him where his awful traits either don’t exist or are slightly more subdued, and traits I could actually appreciate are more emphasized. And saying that, I love this image of this giant, flamboyant man being so unsubtle about his summons that he just wakes up not just Kakashi but his entire FLOOR. Nice one. This man is a spy theoretically and I love that juxtaposition. At least it makes it easy to let Ryouma know they’re leaving.

“Dodomeki?” he said quietly. 

Boyfriends, Kakashi reflected, were supposed to be reassuring. “I’ll bring you an eyeball,” he promised. 

“Gross.” 

This reminds me of that time Kakashi found a weird creepy bug in that one cave during the kiri mission and instead of leaving it be like a normal person he decides to pick it up and bring it all the way back to the team to scare Ryouma with it. I always find it super funny when Kakashi pulls stuff like this, terrorizing his poor teammates with gross unwanted show and tell. I personally would love a gift like that, though. I am totally someone who would probably keep particularly interesting animal body parts preserved in a jar somewhere in my house because I find anatomy and physiology interesting. I once had the opportunity in one of my university classes to hold a horse’s brain and was quite enthralled. I just wanted a good look at it and was really curious what it would feel like.

“Just bring yourself home safe.” 

“Always do,” Kakashi said, which was mostly true. “Captain, too.” 

I’m reacting to this on a reread so hahaaaaaaa. Nice one, Kakashi. Your poor hands.

I would say I can’t believe that Kakashi actually WENT INTO THE ROOM to wake up Raidou and Genma, but this is Kakashi, so I can. He could have just knocked on the bedroom window, or just gone to the door, like a person with basic social skills and a modicum of decency. Kids these days. No respect for the general concept of privacy. Sheesh. Boundaries. I’m glad I’m not them. I will admit that I laughed though.

Raidou jerked, sat up wildly, and blurted, “What the hell?” 

“Taichou,” Kakashi said, with a little wave. 

Genma exhaled, tweaked the sheet so that it covered Kurenai more fully, then sat up — a much smoother operation. “Hatake,” he said tightly, visibly trying for calm. 

“Lieutenant,” Kakashi said. And, for good measure: “Yuuhi. Well done.” 

Asdfghgfds. This bastard. I love and hate him. DK is always so good at this sort of humour with Kakashi and it never fails to get me.

I feel bad for Genma and Raidou and Kurenai right now though because they didn’t even get to TALK properly the next day after getting together before Raidou had to leave.

Kakashi felt his spine stiffen. Reflexive, pointless defense of his parents, who had raised him on legends and myths, told in the few quiet moments between everything else. 

I really love the callback to Don’t Fear the Dark. It’s really interesting when we get little glimpses at what Sakumo was like, and what his family was like before it fell apart. The defensiveness about it has my heart hurting, because it’s one of the few tiny pieces he still has of his father. Speaking of Sakumo, mythology/legends, and Don’t Fear the Dark, I remember that there were traditional masks of demons and things in their home. For a very long time I’ve been very curious to see what the Hatake estate looks like, and what other personal items from Sakumo and their life before are still there. Here’s to hoping we’ll get to see it one day?

I like how these legends have been woven into the worldbuilding too.

Usagi thumped him on the shoulder. “Better dodge, then. We’ll bring some of her scrapings back in a jar for the lab.”

Genma would probably appreciate some jar-scrapings, though. 

Genma’s my type of person. I appreciate him.

I’m really enjoying getting to know a little more about the relationship dynamics of the members of team thirteen. Ginta and Usagi’s relationship is so fun.

I love Goya purely on the basis that she’s a badass archer lady with wicked aim and I feel like that’s understandable and valid.

While Raidou and Usagi bartered for shelter, and Jiraiya signed autographs for the goat herder’s starstruck daughter, Kakashi watched a handful of goat kids bounce back and forth over a fence with blithe disregard for its actual purpose.

The goats hopping over the fence makes such a great image. I adore Tarama the goat village, purely because of the goats. And the Katsuko callback.

I am weak to the characters being dumb reckless idiots experimenting with jutsu for science so I was LIVING for the thunderstorm Ginta-Kakashi shenanigans. I’ve also always loved thunderstorms so I might be extra weak to lightning users. Just casually detonating each other’s jutsu and hoping they don’t explode each other irreparably in the process. Good fun.

Actually getting so see Kakashi split lightning was so cool. We keep hearing about it in canon and legacy so to finally see it is so satisfying. I like the description of sharingan vision as “he tracked the bolt zig-zagging down as if it were made of syrup, oozing through superheated air, long, lethal fingers branching out towards them.” And I also particularly liked this line:

The lightning snapped towards him like a massive, elemental predator scenting blood. 

I am very amused:

In the dizzying aftermath, Kakashi had just enough time to think ow and awesome before the next strike threatened, and they both ran like hell for the village. 

Usagi’s childish glee is so great. And yeah, I feel both her reaction AND Raidou’s are pretty appropriate. But still, lol:

“When did you turn three hundred? Your rookie just did the coolest thing ever. Stop being miserable about it.” 

“You want him?” Raidou said. 

“Yes,” said Usagi instantly. “Hatake, you’re mine, get over here.” 

“Wait, no,” Raidou said. 

I’m glad Kakashi is being appreciated.

The conversation Raidou and Kakashi had about KureGenRai hook up was veeeeery interesting. I wasn’t expecting Kakashi to react so harshly. I guess it is hypocritical of Raidou to say what he said then do that, though Raidou has a point that it’s to protect rookies from senior officers. Lieutenants and Captains are different since they’re closer in rank. I’m guessing that Kakashi is kind of frustrated with how he and Ryouma have felt like they’ve had to keep their relationship secret for fear of getting in trouble, even if same rank liaisons are technically not against the rules, unwritten or otherwise. Because of Raidou’s whole boundaries thing and general testiness about that kind of thing?

I’m curious to see how keeping it a secret from Ryouma will go. How long will they even want to keep it from him, and if they do want to keep the secret how will Ryouma feel about both the relationship and Kakashi’s secret keeping once he finds out?

Another thing I’ll be curious to see is if this at all changes if Kakashi wants to keep his relationship with Ryouma secret still, and if so from who. I’d doubt it would since there are other factors but still. I am looking forward for when people find out, but at the same time I’ve been enjoying it being private. I think a temporary shared secret like this can feel kinda intimate so long as it doesn’t overstay its welcome. And we get scenes like Kakashi panicking and hiding in Ryouma’s bathroom while Ryouma clumsily lies and implies he may have hooked up with an Uchiha to evade arrest so that’s a bonus. I think being able to have their own relationship exist in isolation from judgements and comments from the outside allows them to take some pressure off their relationship, and gives them time to figure each other out and how to just be together unhindered. I can see why they’re doing this the way they are.

A mass grave. Whoever had dug it — Kusa ninja, most likely — had missed the small body on the hill. 

“Poor bastards,” Usagi said quietly. 

Kasumi, of all people, went back for the body. 

I like this detail about Kasumi.

“Now we track,” Jiraiya said. He gave a little wave in Kakashi’s direction. “Do the nose thing.” 

Some days, Kakashi didn’t feel entirely respected in his workplace. 

Loooool

It took two more days to even get close to the Dodomeki. For Kakashi, it was like living in dual headspaces — the clean, sleek arrowhead mind of a predator, and the disordered tangle of everything human. Team Thirteen, with their… themness. Jiraiya — firmly, unignorably himself. The discomfort of Raidou and the unhappy friction between them. No Genma to smooth down the rough edges. No Ryouma to distract with chatter or an unexpected, brilliant idea. 

I really liked this section for a couple reasons:

1)    I like how when certain members of the team are absent it highlights just how important they are to the entire team. Genma the vital lynchpin and mediator; Ryouma the emotional heart, friend, and innovator. I also appreciate that it’s not just their skillsets that are addressed either. They’re valuable for things like their kindness, level-headedness, and company.

2)    I love the acknowledgment of duality of Kakashi’s headspace and social interactions. The headspace required to do his job as a tracker vs. working as part of a team of antsy, ridiculous people are very different. The interactions he is going to be having with the wolfdogs that don’t even so much as speak human vs. his human coworkers are going to be very different too. Kakashi having an entirely different headspace with the dogs  to the point he actually separates it from being entirely human (like referring to “humans” as if it were a group he isn’t entirely part of) reminds me of all the way back to the thread Lost in the Dark when Raidou sees Kakashi speaking to the entire pack for the first time. He realizes Kakashi’s social skills have likely been influenced by his exposure to the dogs he grew up with. It was such an interesting revelation to me. This is the part I mean if you’re curious:

What followed was one of the strangest conversations Raidou had ever witnessed. Kakashi, with his economy of speech and movement that seemed so disjointed in human interaction, slotted into place as naturally as breathing. Raidou recognized that questioning head tilt echoed back by listening dogs; the silent, watchful glances that lingered a second beyond comfortable; the predatory edge polished like a fine weapon. Here, Kakashi’s hair and mask just looked like markings, no more notable than that shepherd’s black-tipped ears, or that hound’s white-ticked coat.

It explained a lot.

I really liked seeing Raidou defend Kakashi from Kasumi’s crochety and unjustified remarks. Progress!!! I’m proud.

I’ve probably said it before and I’ll probably say it again, but I always love your dialogue. There’s so much personality and liveliness in it. The banter is so entertaining. Usagi and Ginta especially right now.

I know the mythology the Dodomeki comes from is very different, but there is something about the descriptions of her that make me think a lot of what I felt watching the Netflix the Witcher series. Which might not mean anything to you if you haven’t seen it. Similarly horrifying and deadly and gross. It’s great.

The entire fight scene had my heart pounding. It was so intense and fast-paced. So many close calls and how fast she was was so terrifying. We just saw Kakashi with his sharingan so fast he was able to split a lightning strike in half, yet she’s so fast he can’t even hope to keep up. Fuck.

Abe had to chase him nervously around, attending to whatever bits of Jiraiya’s face he could reach, until the medic finally lost his temper and ordered Jiraiya to sit. 

I loved this.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about them theorizing about her sickly state, but I am very intrigued. I also love when little bits of real life actual science are incorporated in fantasy like this (ex. the mention of ketosis).

I am still very very worried for Kakashi’s hands. I suspect he won’t get out of this entirely unscathed even after treatment.

[echo-inthevoid]

Season 2 q&a and overall reaction

Jonny stealing everyone's names XD 

Is martin going to be ok!? I also need to know! 

He said no;-; 

ok ya, no one's gonna be ok. 

Ya, he must do sooo much research. 

Ya, except for "fatigue" lol.

Eyyy the mechanisms!! 

What's the red string brigade? Ok, I guess a group of fans theorizing about stuff. 

Oh ok so someone else did martins poetry. Ooh, there's more martin poetry out there! *grabby hands*

Ok ya, Alex clarifying that Jon isn't stupid he just makes poor decisions. Probably if he'd paused and thought about it (like I did lol, I had to go do some stuff in the middle of that ep and thought about it a whole bunch lol) instead of immediately going out and buying an axe and further isolating himself and panicking immediately he probably would have figured it out. This is why it's bad to panic in a crisis guys. 

Eyyy! Jonny's parents voiced Gertrude and Leitner! That's so cool. 

XD Jonny grumbling about having to work with his parents. 

Hmm, I hadn't really thought of Gertrude being like a mother figure in the story? She just seems very cut-throat I guess from what Leitner said. Idk so far I've been very suspicious of her. Especially since that one statement where her photo burned a whole bunch of people or something. She just seems very shady... 

Alex chortling over Jonny's pain. XD

Side note, Every time there's a q&a I just can't stop noticing Jonny's voice going in and out of archivist range? Like most of the time I'm just listening along and then he'll say a sentence a bit grumblier and my brains immediately like "ARCHIVIST! That's THE ARCHIVIST!!" 

Martin would be the last one alive in Friday the 13th! It's official! 

(Is it bad that this gives me hope)

Jon likes Nonfiction, documentaries, and probably collects something just a little bit weird. *writes down for use in potential fics* 

also while im at it I remember jon saying he dislikes coffee at one point,  and so many people have him liking coffee in their fics! This has been your daily reminder of that fact because ever since then it keeps bugging me lol. (But also do whatever u want.)

Alex's spluttering sounds so much like Martin.

Yes!! I want to hear jon sing!! Yes! Musical Episode When!!?

Ah yes yes yes! All the characters are so unique!!? How does he do it!! 

Ya, it being in audio format sometimes makes it hard to understand what's happening in the live-action bits. (Live-action is the wrong word but u know what I mean.)

Oh ok ya, how he mentioned he got a pipe was quite clever I didn't realize that that's why he mentioned it at all. 

Ooh, there's a manga where there's something similar to Michael? I'll have to look that up later...

XD Alex and Jonny arguing about apples. 

Ok, so all the statements we're hearing ARE for reals. I kinda assumed but good to have it confirmed.

They used to hang out together!!? Work function curry nights!! ;-; 

Ya Ya! Who made the leitners!?

"You are assuming a book needs to be written" ...ok then. (but it has to have been created somehow??? Did they just spring fully formed from the powers? why? And why take the form of books?)

Alex's mischievous laugh about whether jon has friends *trembles in fear*

Yes!! Micheal is so good! I'm so happy they love him too! Yesyes! His laugh! 

Ah Yes!! Mary kaey was so creepy! 

XD yes yes yes fatigue was written on zero sleep, I knew it! 

Akskdjdkd I love them so much. Also, I've looked up Michaels voice actor luke booys and he does some other horrory type sketches n stuff and I kiiinda want to do a little animatic with some of those but it's Michael like annoying some poor soul lost in his halls... I think that'd be fun. I wonder if anyone's done that yet? If so someone send me the links I neeeed iiitt :3

Season 2 summary:

Uuuuu ya so this season was really good. I kinda listened to it in bursts of about ten episodes every couple weeks and then have been saving up the reactions to post later so these are usually going up about a week or so after I actually listened to the episode just FYI. 

I also do have a lot of spoilers cause I can't keep myself away from fanfic and people don't always tag for spoilers and I kiiinda wana know what's coming beforehand anyway? Idk it's hard man I get very stressed about what might happen and then also listening to too much at a time is too spooky for my poor little heart so I gotta read the less spooky fanfic to fulfill the hyperfixation you see. (If anyone has fanfic with spoilers only up to season 2 that'd be great btw) 

Anyway, I try not to take spoiler type stuff into account unless I'm just so sure of it I can't really not acknowledge that I know about it. 

Also, can I just talk about Michael for a minute?? Cause he's such a unique character? And I guess maybe there are other characters like him but I haven't ever seen one -tho to be fair tma is only like the third horror thing I've ever really got into (the other two are the SCP Foundation in its various forms and Little Nightmares. Hence why I keep making reference to SCP it's really the only thing I know similar to this.) But he's such a cool concept!!? Like someTHING that still has a personality? He's so not human? Like I get what he says but also I don't really? Idk im pretty sure he's an avatar right? Right?? Idk if that means he was a person at some point? But all this to say that he is probably the most inhuman character I've come across so far and I'm trying to figure out what it is about him that's so "other" to me? Like... I don't really know what Micheal's deal is? he seems to want to be sort of a neutral mischief-maker but also it seems like he keeps getting invested. But also I just love the way he talks about himself. Like he's a monster that has a personality and is fully intelligent but isn't just evil but isn't neutral either and certainly isn't benevolent. Like he's so complex and just,,,, the idea of a "thing" that's got a personality?? I love it? Kind of like dryads or spirits of things? Like the idea that after a long time things gain personality just by existing? Not that that's what Michael is necessarily? but that same sort of concept applies to him I think. Like the way he IS the maze and wants to help but wants to just watch but wants to kill them all. He's just so interestinggggggg. (And another vision of what jon could become?)

 also "es Mentiras" is a beautiful name 💕

So are him and not-Sasha avatars? Not-Sasha also seems completely inhuman and I was under the impression that avatars were (or used to be) human? Or are they like personifications of their power? Do all the powers have personifications of themselves. not-Sasha seems even less human than Michael? Like she seems to just really genuinely enjoy causing fear? Tho I guess we didn't really get to hear a lot of her. She just seemed kinda gleefully angry most of the time we heard from her. Was she... Human once!???

Anyway. Also, can I just talk about leitners line about jon belonging to the eye!!? Just..*chefs kiss* hnnnngg I need more jon grappling with that. I just need more everyone dealing with the fallout post all of the finallies ok? I still need more of jon angsting over his worms scars and stuff and now I also need jon freaking out about belonging to a fear god power thing. 

Also Martin! Is Martin ok? He sure did a lot of yelling which he doesn't usually? Look I love him and he actually thinks before he acts (unlike SOME people *looks at jon*) and he writes poetry and it is pretty good poetry ok!! And he cares about everyone and just wants a happy ending and aaaaa😭

Petition to get some statements from Martin's pov tho? I mean that's not gonna happen cause Jon's the archivist but I want more martin pov!! Maybe we can get some of his poem tapes??? Pls????? 

I feel so bad for Tim. It sounds like he's kinda fallen into despair.

Also Elias!!? Is showing his spooky side!!? He can control cameras and beat a man to death with a pipe!!? This is his "place of powerr"!!? I am afeared!!? At least jon knows he shouldn't trust him now. Oh jeez, I wonder if jon will listen back to the tape and know what happened. Thhhatsss rough. Oh dear, I hope he doesn't feel guilty cause Leitner did keep trying to hurry him and now everyone thinks it was him. Even martin thinks he did it? Wich like I kinda want to hear more of his thoughts on that? How much does he believe that jon did it? Tim certainly seems pretty certain but he's a bit biased and cynical right now so. 

And they were in the maze for DAYS? 

Now I need martin recovering from being stuck with Tim in Michaels maze for days being angry and worried and hungry etc... Dksjdksa knowing jon could be dying RIGHT NOW and there's nothing he can do. Please someone give me the fic links if this exists!! I've already written like 5 drabbles based entirely on spoilers/other fics (which I'll probably post (w/ links to their inspirations) once I'm caught up and can make sure I'm not just completely demolishing cannon lol. 

Leitner didn't even scream or yell or anything when he was murdered. Literally the chillest dude ever. F

Overall super great, Elias is terrifying, let's dive into the next season!!! I've got 2 seasons to finish in like, less than 2 or so weeks(?) if I wana be caught up by season 5 hhhh,,,

Better get started I guess. 

[fallingin-like]

november 23

the real folk blues by @annawrites [requested by @allforthebee]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this absolutely amazing and captivating fic that has the foxes as space bounty hunters and neil who is, as usual, and exceptionally skilled runaway. set away some time to read this fic as soon as possible, because once you start, you won’t be able to put it down until you finish.

this is such an entertaining, fun fic and you did an amazing job at balancing the softer moments with intense, action-packed scenes. at all times i was fully immersed in the story, you handled everything so well. i’m always a fan of your writing, so it’s not a surprised that i had a wonderful experience rereading this.

bits that stood out to me:

”counting stars has become a habit, something to subdue the memories” ah this is really cute and i can totally imagine canon andrew, lying on the roof of some building counting stars instead of trying to sleep

”renee cracks a chicken bone smile in the corner of her mouth” i have never heard this phrase before but i love it!

”there’s a collective intake of breath - andrew, who remembers every single bounty ever placed, can’t remember it ever being this big” for some reason, i love when this kind of thing happens. it feels so cool, knowing someone wants that character that bad and gets me excited for what kind of skills the hunted person has, to be able to evade the people looking for them (reminds me of john wick lol)

”nathaniel wesninski alias neil josten is a hacker, con artist, engineer and pilot” BLESS HIM FOR BEING SO CAPABLE AND SKILLED

matt’s infamous bell peppers and beef with no beef!!! that’s funny and i think about it surprisingly often

”renee pulls up a few more photographs of neil wesninski on the hologram screen. she deals them out like cards until they fan out in a neat timeline of faded hoodies and various iterations of the same polished smile, a mouth sharpened to cutting perfection… the eyes, in contrast, look consistently hunted” holograms and just this space tech is SO cool. i love seeing how the foxes view neil before they meet him. it’s interesting how many sightings they have of him, but also how blank he seems, when we all know that there’s so much personality under that surface

”the ISSP are a bunch of corrupt, incompetent idiots” LOL

”’tone down the optimism, day,’ andrew drawls. ‘we might start overestimating our chances’” agh i love your characterization of all of these characters and this is a great example of why! and i like that you used drawls, it feels very andrew-like

”andrew waggles his fingers lazily in the air” yeah this is andrew

woah i have never seen the art for this fic (i guess because i have the fic downloaded and i just read that version instead of going on ao3, the pictures must not have downloaded) but it’s great!

gasp, i love the idea of the foxes Dressed Up

ALLISON BEING BANNED FROM PLAYING!! “her former alias - lady luck, also known as poker alice” oh this is great. for some reason, them having reputations like this really excites me

”it’s in my blind spot” ANDREW this is so funny

ahhhh i can’t believE you added the “better luck next time” line in!!

okay so the whole action part of this scene is so intense, love andrew throwing the poker chip as a diversion, and neil pretending to give up for a moment before ACTIVATING HIS ARMED SHIP AND SHOOTING EVERYONE. ugh, hearing about neil being so good at what he does (steering, hacking, while taking off his jacket) makes me love this scene so much

”vowels rolling like a pair of dice” this is so good on its own, but paired with the casino scene that precedes it? stunning

”kevin values his ship, and his life, in that order.” i can imagine. i wonder, is there competitive racing in this au? i can imagine kevin being obsessed with that

thank goodness riko is dead, one less thing (on a list of many things) to worry about. whoop and i see that easthaven has passed, good.

KEVIN DAY WITH A METAL ARM AND A TRANSMITTER PLATE THAT COVERS HIS TATTOO YEAH

oh dang limb regrowth tech in this au? wild

”’minyard and the monster, how lovely to see you again.’ neil greets him through the once more hijacked comm. they’ve been playing this game for weeks now, racing each other across the milky way like starved lovers. even allison is starting to run out of lewd jokes” i find it so interesting hearing about this relationship that’s being built between them even though they basically never meet in person, the joking from neil’s side

these hints of andrew’s eye mods are really great, i definitely didn’t notice them as much as i should have when i first read this fic, but every time after that, i appreciate little details like these more and more

RENEE WITH A KATANA YES PLEASE

”andrew shakes off the last dregs of sunday sleepiness that cling to his lips like the skin on warm milk. neil wesninski might have become a game by now, but the malcolms still mean business” ohhh boy, even knowing what comes next i get nervous hearing this. i love the contrast between the softness of what sundays mean with the conflict to come, especially when you jump right into the action

”renee pants, her voice cool and slippery like broken tiles amid the crackle of static” oh i love this description

LOL i can’t believe that andrew got matt’s dessert rations and gets to invite neil to be a part of their crew

”missions are slow and neil’s face keeps showing up on big shot, though not for lack of people trying to hunt him down.” i don’t know why but i really like this!! you go, neil!

oh oh thank you so much for the way that you describe neil alone on his ship, his hoodies, gloves, “one sad-looking sock”, “the one sock he’s wearing has holes”, talking to himself, “yet he’s still inexplicably trying to shield his robots from andrew’s gun” so cute!

”eyes like the gleaming insides of a wire in the dark” this!!!!

the! cats! neil made his robots cats!!

NEIL HACKING INTO THEIR COMMS I LOVE HIM

”neil is like a live fish under his hands, constantly wriggling and sliding out of his grip, fingers twitching back toward his abandoned project like flies caught in a spiderweb” ahh squirmy neil is super cute, “neil shivers under the touch like he’s not used to being touched at all” this doesn’t surprise me. even if i didn’t have an idea of what his childhood might have been like (with mary and nathan, i imagine there was not very much affection), he’s probably been alone for so long, when would the last time someone would have touched him? i don’t think i would be able to handle it

ahh barefoot neil is always cute

SCARS no matter how many fics i read, i always love moments when neil’s scars are revealed

NEIL RUNNING LAPS IN HIS TINY SHORTS AROUND AND AROUND AHH

”neil slinks into the room late, looking tousled and a little sticky around the edges like he’s just woken up from a nap. he freezes when he sees andrew, stuck standing right in the middle of the projection, and only moves when dan throws a cushion at him” your writing actually paints scenes in my head which for me, a person really bad at visualizing things, is really impressive. it makes the experiences of reading exponentially more interesting, and doesn’t happen that often.

renee as praying mantis!! what a perfect nickname. is she religious in this au as well? i can’t remember if any religions even exist in this au (whoops i know nothing about cowboy bebop)

”she looks stiff and faded like old newspaper in the light of the kitchen lamps” what a gem of a sentence

me: sees the nickname gorilla and gets excited because i know some action is going to go down

”the three of them would just  about reach his head if renee sat on andrew’s shoulders and lifted neil up” THIS IS AMAZING. i mean, andrew and neil are tiny but they are not that tiny

”andrew begins tonelessly, tracing patterns into neil’s skin” if we ignore the fact that andrew is telling a terrible terrible story, this is so soft

”his breathing is viscous now, like syrup in his lungs. his left eye aches and the corner of his mouth twitches painfully into the ghost of a manic grin. he bites his tongue and it tastes like the word please” i am speechless but i really wanted to acknowledge this sentences lakjsdf

NEIL WINNING THE BET ABOUT BEING ABLE TO STEAL THINGS FROM THE VENDOR AND ROBBING THE MAN JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING. uGH you do such a good job of integrating humour like this into your story and having it fit the tone and pacing of the fic effortlessly.

excuse me how is it possible that you followed such a lighthearted scene with something so devastating as andrew explaining his past to allison and neil and have it still flow??? “because… i did not mean for you to get hurt” ANDREW YOU’RE SO GOOD

”he’s smoking outside and watching the dusk unfurl like an exotic flower when there’s a crash inside the store” this description is so gorgeous

what in the world, andrew i don’t even know how to describe you. he really just helps catch the robbers with his headphones on while choosing things to buy, killing a dude, then checking out, no big deal???? i understand neil’s attraction to him a little bit more now…

andrew and renee sharing clothes is now canon, please and thank you

oh no, lola is Bad News, especially when it comes to threatening neil’s family

NEIL PACKING ANDREW’S LEATHER JACKET AHH

”the bebop crew are basically overgrown children and react very well to the little sugary rewards for good behaviour” yeah this is very true haha

”’your blatant flirting woke me up,’ matt grins weakly. ‘can i have a lollipop too, neil?” i remember this whole scene so well, the second the infirmary was mentioned i knew it was lollipop time. matt, is basically how i feel right now HAH

woah wymack taking care of bonsai trees? i didn’t know i needed that in my life so badly. just like neil and the twins, so tiny :’)

uhm so, the tape that nicky sent to andrew? it’s actually making me cry (which is super rare for fics) “i hope you know that i love you”, “things aren’t so easy at the moment, and maybe they still aren’t easy for you watching this ten years from now, but i’ll always be there for you, and for aaron, too. i hope that one day we can be a family. happy birthday, my little piyoko, don’t eat all the cake by yourself!” i love this so much, and it makes me so sad and happy. this nicky is so good, and as much as i think andrew needed to see this, i think that i needed to read this more. thank you

nicky calling the twins his little piyokos, his lucky birds ;-;

the reunion scenes are so good, i really don’t think i can write anything that sufficiently describes how i feel. the way that nicky acts, the new relatives, older aaron, it all feels so right, so real.

andrea minyard deserves her own bullet point

neil just goes and makes all the police ships crash by controlling them remotely just for andrew to be hit by a moon rock?!?!?

”something irritatingly warm rises and swells inside andrew like yeast dough and he plunges his fists into it and kneads it into submission, twists it until all that remains is sticky, frothy anger” and “andrew sits down on a crate and prods at the yeasty mass still fermenting in his insides. the sudden bloating of anger has subsided to the usual starchy nothingness, but there’s a sugary residue of unease that he doesn’t want to examine any further right now” as much as i adore your jokes and beautiful descriptions of scenes, sentences like these ones that blow me away completely are why you’re one of my favourite fanfic authors. these are the kinds of sentences that i carry with me even after i am finished reading

”i can’t decide if you two are more like toddlers or like an old married couple… either way, it’s really bizarre to see andrew having feelings other than hate and destruction” LOL

thea is the coolest person ever

”kevin makes a noise like a dying dog” me too, kevin

NONONONONO ICHIROU AND JEAN AND EASTHAVEN

thank goodness neil is here

apparently i am very fond of the words “juice pack” and think it is cute. why? i also do not know

huh, riko naming his identity kevin king?? feels… not good

oh boy, lola is back

ANDREW CAN PICK OPEN HIS HANDCUFFS THANK YOU FOR THIS

is it bad if i am happy that all these people are dying (proust, lola, etc.)

NEIL AMPUTATES NATHAN’S HAND WITH A CLEAVER WHILE HE’S HOLDING A CLEAVER AND THEN KILLS HIM LDKSJFLK

oh dang, it’s stuart (i trust him)

andrew’s eye! thank goodness, because although it kind of sucks, it also Really Does Not Suck

”it’s stiff and awkward and neil quickly wriggles out of it. kevin must be really shaken up, because he tries andrew next. andrew waits passively until he’s close and then steps to the side at the last moment, smothering his amusement in a cough when kevin walks straight into the wall with open arms. serves him right for thinking even for a second that andrew would let him” LOL i love you, anna, so so much

money!! woohoooooo (or should i say woolonghooo okay sorry that’s like the world’s worst pun)

BELL PEPPERS AND BEEF WITH ACTUAL BEEF AND NO PEPPERS YES! what a great way to bring things full circle, even though it’s small

sweet dumplings filled with fruit? i am intrigued

THE SHIRT

i can’t not acknowledge the bit with the key, neil is too clever for his own good

we finally get to see bee! ugh i love the relationship between bee and andrew

”they may be marks of destruction, but they are still andrew’s; still proof of his existence” yeah (like a good yeah)

interesting about andrew’s memory not being as good without his left eye. does he have eidetic memory in this au? maybe it’s better if he doesn’t

i remember the first time i read this fic, in startling detail. this fic was so good then, and it has been just as good, if not better, every time i have reread it

it’s kind of embarrassing, but one of the things that i remember distinctly (among a lot of other things) is the noodles! reading this fic never fails to make me want to eat instant noodles

so one thing about me is that i am actually really bad at visualizing things. when i read stories, i can never imagine what a character looks like, i just see the feature that is being highlighted at the moment, and the second that sentence ends, that image is gone. like i just have a magnifying glass to someone’s face but i can’t piece together the parts. it makes it so that i often struggle with the visualization of stories. but something about your writing makes it easy for me to pictures scenes happening. everything is so vivid, and real (hence, the instant noodle cravings lol) and i love that so much. it’s so special.

the flow of this fic is amazing, the characterization is incredibly authentic and really helps with carrying the plot. you integrated lighthearted scenes with pure angst and awful things (easthaven) and i’m honestly curious as to the cowboy bebop episodes you took inspiration from. this fic was so well written, you are so skilled at introducing characters, locations, plot points, although i’m not familiar with this universe i wasn’t confused at any point. you explained everything without me noticing. this was just a breathtaking fic. thank you so much for writing this!!

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

athenas or the new ign videos... hmmm

im gonna go for the ign videos (moze gameplay and sanctuary-iii, no guns yet, i have a reason for that) because athenas hasn’t gotten its sweet instagram video yet. once that’s released i’ll do a full post on it. by the time i got around to finishing this post, they had released the video. oh boy... gonna do the gun post then the athenas post, i think. alright, off we go.

tl;dr: we read the entire end user agreement DAHL thrusts upon us for using the ECHO device, talk about some stuff like how (spoilers) it seems like Lilith will be getting her powers back at the end of the game, and a voice line Lily says that sounds like “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like Tannis said: [inaudible] Siren” (altho im not 100% sure on the [inaudible] part because 1) it sounds weird and 2) there’s a drum beat and also the devs are talking over her, the Siren part seems fairly accurate because of the way her mouth moves). so you know. im gonna be agonizing over that until i can hear what she says. ive already spent an hour just repeating it over and over. i nearly fell asleep lol

we’re gonna start with the moze gameplay (the first 14 minutes of bl3) because chronologically it’s first in both timeline and release date

i love the license plates on the right there

also it looks like they added in claptrap’s old welcome sign from windshear waste! time to stand in front of it for 30 minutes to see if any messages pop up like bl2

fast travel station as well, definitely going to see if/where i can teleport and going there immediately. i imagine this is more for DLC stuff and grinding tho.

also! i do believe we saw Covenant Pass previously. good to know this is actually where it is!

Marcus saying “And Welcome to Pandora!” in the beginning confirms that, yes, they’re going to be on a bus!! i wonder if there will be a fight scene before that though. it’s interesting Clappy mentions that “those jerks who tried to murder you are the children of the vault!” so i mean... there’s gotta be... right?

im also convinced this intro is going to be a mirror of Borderlands 1. i stg if it starts out with the first few notes of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked and then swaps songs I’m going to lose my mind

also also, the order is totally going to mimic the bl1 one. Fl4k = Mordecai, Amara = Lilith, Moze = Roland, Zane = Brick. We even have Lilith taking Angel’s spot as the mysterious voice in our heads, and probably Marcus driving, AND being dropped off at a bus stop.

bet the reason they changed it from ‘Moze as the Bot Jock’ to ‘Moze as the Gunner’ is because it fits under ‘Roland as the Soldier’ better. Also, ‘Zane Flynt as Himselfs’ would be a play off ‘Brick as Himself’. Amara as the Siren is obvious, and ‘Mordecai as the Hunter’ vs ‘Fl4k as the Beastmaster’ is pretty similar as well, given Fl4k has all those Hunter skills.

the 4 basic emotes im guessing. im so glad we have the option to boop our friends in the face with emotes.

also moze’s little bunny skin is adorable

the ECHOnet used to be called “Riftspace”, “the Spline”, and... “MercTel: A Cyber-Dahl Joint” lmfao

specifically calls out Pandora. also, “artificial megastructures”??? THAT’S SO COOL

AND FUCKING

SENTIENT MEGASTRUCTURES???? 

gearbox. please. i have never ever wanted anything more in my life. please. it’s probably my birthday. PLEASE GEARBOX

also interesting that the user agreement specifically notes ‘Respawns’. I assume this is a joke because New-U stations have been confirmed not canon

“Core law”. Core law? Core... daddy? ... ????

core as in like a core government somewhere that’s not the border worlds? that’s interesting...

“The Legion”, okay, acknowledging TPS, that’s dope

“Project Blackrakk” ... im interested

“Thresher Company” lmao

im curious if Axton was apart of any of the mentioned ones. i don’t think it’s been stated, but i could be wrong

“Chieftain Oort”. also ‘Recently Legless Gary’, lmfao poor dude.

oh yeah im sure this is fine. also holy shit did they google the synonyms for ‘change’ and just start listing them? lmfao

“implicit subscription to the Digby Vermouth ‘Dig’s Gigs’ secret concert subscription service” 

sorry, what?

if this doesn’t come up again in the future- if we don’t get a spam letter or 3 in our mailbox about this concert subscription thing i'm gonna be so disappointed

Dahl hates you if you’re not a fan of hyper-jazz, “you snob” lmfao

my brain hurts, they’re good at writing these 

damn phones exist? i thought everything was ECHO. aight, that’s good to know. i guess there just aren’t any phone networks around the border worlds

also “shared dreamspaces” sound really cool

hm. that’s no good lmfao. also i love that the buttons are ‘Agree’ and ‘OK’. there is no escape, once you agree, you can’t even leave because you’re agreeing that you’re trapped with these rules even if you cancel.

that’s fucked up, DAHL. can’t believe you treat your user base the same way you treat your employees. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised.

anyway, shoutout to literally the only TOA I’ve ever fully read in my life.

also, clicking through this TOA too fast WILL end claptrap’s voice line early. so be careful if you want to hear what he has to say!!

oh shit lmao I gotta go edit that Fl4k post

ok im back ~time magic of being able to save things in drafts and post them at a later date~

sliding preserves momentum, so you can actually slide (nearly) the entire way down! i love this.

small, but claptrap bends his antennae when trying to be stealthy. i thought that was a pretty cool detail

“and some guns include an alternate shooting mode~! try it out!”

player: `immediately shoots claptrap in the face`

i died lol

a very nice look at this sign.

good to know that the twins really are tempting people to join with promises of food. i mean it makes sense, i imagine most of the cultists are desperate for stability and a reasonable life on pandora.

also, Shiv calls himself “holy influencer of the children of the vault” lol. i love that. gearbox really is going for the internet’s throat, isn’t it?

i do like that hovering over an NPC will give you their name only and not name/healthbar.

a better look at one of the signs referencing the Mother!!! i was waiting for this, the only real look we got at one was in that one scene with Moze and IB

“Behold the Mother strength surrender to the truth” 

yeah that’s not ominous...

i assume the mother and father are intended to be tyreen and troy? but idk how i feel about that implication...

i like the new little gear/spring effect for the magnet lol

new lilith! i know a lot of people don’t like it, but i do. she looks better than the bl2 vers. altho i think it’s weird they swapped both bl1 and bl2′s ‘AI’ effect to those dots and then didn’t bring it to BL3. the dots effect felt cleaner. curious why they’re not applying it to bl3 when they went thru all that effort in 1 and 2.

... back up please.

i like that there is a changing icon for long pressing now

“time to check out our slay of the day!” sounds like Tyreen but tbh i legit thought this was moze’s reaction to opening the chest at first lol 

you can hear someone start screaming in agony while she’s walking up the stairs, so i know it’s not moze, but im so used to the VHs talking when they see a new piece of loot my brain just assumed.

also THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS A REMIX OF BANDIT SLAUGHTER!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS I WAS FREAKING OUT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

also, claptrap when dropping health yells “this could save your life! then, you’ll owe me a life debt!” bullshit im pretty sure you already decided we owed you a life debt the moment we stepped off that bus

“i see it... the great vault” - a line from a cultist you kill

i know i mentioned in this post that the Great Vault may be already opened, but it could also just be a Vault they’re planning on opening and using the propaganda to convince the cultists to help them find it. 

“if you help us get this vault open, you’ll be handsomely rewarded! you’ll get superpowers! you’ll get regular meals! you’ll get money and guns and dates!” you know, the usual stuff. 

either way, elevating the Vault to a higher state (god/heaven/whatever) makes sense if you’re running a cult.

btw there is a hidden chest in the scaffolding to the left of the door, if you’re interested in grabbing some better guns before shiv. personally, i’ll be using the toy guns.

also the TVs are actually playing propaganda now!!

this one is asking questions that i cant understand due to the sound effects of the chest and claptrap talking, but it says something about “... the dust? ... join the Children of the Vault!”

“hey shiiiiiv all your dumb friends are dead!!”

shiv be like

“all my friends are dead”

some cool level-up art! I notice these are the same pictures as used on the japanese site. i wonder if they change depending on which VH you’ve picked (If you’re playing Amara/Fl4k, do you get pics of Amara and Fl4k? the player is playing moze, afterall).

also also “it’s a KIA on the knife wielding maniac. suuuper dead.” 

it’s cool that the VHs have specific lines for the deaths of bosses. i hope that continues and it’s not just a ‘15 min of intro gameplay’ thing. you know, where everything is super detailed in the beginning and then slowly gets less and less as the game progresses? anyway, moze’s little chuckle is fuckin adorable lol

ah. the door closes now so you can’t even explore Shiv’s room before Lilith shows up. gearbox plS you know me too well, i was looking for a g l i m p s e

claptrap’s voice line for getting released is SUPER off time, he hits the ground before going “you did it! i’m sa-ahhhhhhhh!” it’s weird, wondering if that’s just a glitch.

also also we get a nice listen to the revive ally sound. i could’ve sworn it wasn’t in the first look at this mission we got, because i heard it for the first time during the coop Zane/Amara gameplay on Promethea. i might be wrong, tho.

im very curious what these symbols are claptrap is beaming up

i mean you know what im gonna say

they look eridian

and they do

so wtf clappy why u beaming up eridian letters to Lilith

i assume maybe Tannis gave clappy some weird upgrade or something so he could communicate with the crimson raiders without the CoV listening in? it could be that Tannis or someone is decoding this message since Tannis does know how to translate Eridian (as shown in her bl1 ECHOs)

... or at the very least she gave Lilith a translator

the darkening makes it so that you can see the crackening. also this COULD just be a beam that lilith can see from wherever she is, but i want to believe there’s more eridian stuff. bc eridian stuff is fun.

this is so fu cking crisp im dying i love it

lilith’s tattoos spreading down her fingers

same symbol as her chest tattoo. maybe the symbol denotes new powers? like how lily has one on her chest for phasewalking, and a new one on her hand for teleportation

i love how her wings look like actual fire. i fucking love this

lilith is looking so fucking good in the new engine

im glad they got rid of her super red eyes, tbh it looked a bit weird

i think they are really pushing her fire affinity, im sure we’ll see Maya has an elemental affinity as well (im calling corrosive) and im sure Tyreen will too (slag). Amara looks to be Shock because that’s her ‘default’, but who knows until (if) bl4 comes out. but corrosive wings on maya would look SOOO fucking cool. please. please please please.

god she looks so good compared to bl2. i love how the tattoos softly glow in the dark, too. i gotta play this mission late in the day...

“you’re... the voice in my head, right?” i love this so much, i really hope my shitpost comes true.

lilith gives you a grenade mod for completing her mission! im really glad they are PUSHING through the tutorial/intro so you can get right into the game. bl2′s ‘intro’ of all these tutorials was brutal. especially waiting to unlock your action skill.

in 3 you get your action skill automatically at level 2!!! which is insane, i love it! they’re jumping right into it, it’s great. and they seem to be pushing for you to get all the stuff you need right away. 

it’s curious to note that in bl3 we get our class mods at the end of the Promethea demo (after Gigamind), since in bl2 you get your first (usually?) after the hunting the firehawk mission and both seem to take place immediately after we get to the ‘base of operations’ of the game (Sanctuary vs Sanctuary-III).

yep that quest is 100% in line with the quest marker. 

i imagine From the Ground Up may be discovering where the Vault Map/Key actually is? maybe bringing people to the Recruitment Center (notably Tannis)

for this scene. i hope this takes place after the HBC, because i seriously... can’t imagine the twins showing up, taking the Vault Map, bringing it to the HBC, and then NOT taking Lilith’s powers/trying to kill Lily and accidentally taking her powers. it just doesn’t make sense, Vault Hunters be damned, we are level 2 they could melt us easy peasy. 

If anything, it feels like we COULD find the Vault Map in the Recruitment Center, Tannis tries to activate it/fix it, we find out it’s mega broke, and then the Sun Smashers show up and take it. but i seriously can’t imagine Lilith nor the new VHs allowing that to happen while they’re still there. maybe if Tannis sends us to do something while Lilith is gathering other CR members? then it could make sense if they attack while Tannis is alone with the Key...

OR

we end up finding something in Shiv’s room that shows/helps us realize the Sun Smashers bringing the Vault Map to the Calypsos. tho this would mean the quest From the Ground Up is SUPER short and I imagine it’s not. Maybe we raid a camp of theirs like the one in front of Sanc-III with the bridge/ramp? We need to be about level 6 before we go and we start From the Ground Up at 2 so there’s obviously something DEEP we’re missing here. maybe this is a mission where we go gather the other Crimson Raiders? HMMMMMMMM...

.... oh.

nevermind lmfao

she opens her ECHO immediately after this LOL i feel kinda dumb now

raiding their camp it is! the Droughts sounds like a fun location. Very much like the dust. you guys think there’s a Shade situation going on there? i’m excited to see it. Still think we’re going to use Shiv’s room to get that lead, though. i just really wanna watch tv lmfao. i hope this means the bandits run from the camp to the HBC, or we find info that the bandit warchief sent a party to the HBC with the Vault Map. either way, i just don’t want the twins showing up until after the HBC or i will have so many questions. “why didn’t you kill lilith?” being the first. “the god queen wants her head!” ur goddamn right she does, so why doesn’t she (try to) kill lilith???

85% already?! hot damn

also

that’s one badass description there, Moze

also also

while having gun slots locked is pretty normal, im surprised they’re locking class mods and relics, too! i wonder when we’ll be able to equip relics. maybe when we first go to eden-6 or smth. or maybe after we meet up with Rhys. shit maybe he’s just handing us an artifact (im gonna interchange these a lot, sorry!) in that Promethea video lmfao

“ready to chuck some boom and frag some maniacs” lol moze i love you

if you’re playing Zane... `equips grenade mod for checkmark` `immediately equips second action skill and never actually uses grenade mod`

“it’s the firehawk! the god queen wants her head!” 

like i alluded to before, i would not be surprised if Tyreen doesn’t know she can absorb Siren powers... when she goes to succ lilith in front of Sanctuary-III, it’s totally possible she actually was trying to kill her. That could explain why she looks so intrigued at her hand like “oh shit okay lets see what this can do”

might be why she was okay with sending her cultists after her instead of showing up herself.

“alright, we got a foothold. maybe things are turning our way. come on killer, you’re with me” we are going to explore the SHIT out of shiv’s room.

alright alright alright

let’s move on to the Sanctuary-III stuff

yessss

i love the quest objective thing, it looks like we will be able to swap through our quests with the push of a button! also im curious why exactly we’re going to promethea right away. i wonder if the twins say something about moving there after getting the vault map/lilith’s powers, or if we hear from rhys. im expecting something about the vault map, since our vh will admit they don’t know rhys at all when talking to lorelei. but for some reason we need to be within the city limits? since lily says ellie got us within the city limits. 

hmmmmmm. okay, okay, maybe the map was trying to lead us to promethea for vault reasons during that short amount of time that we had it and it was working. maybe promethea is what we see when tannis is activating the key during that one cutscene? ohhh shit how dope would it be if we got that fucking easter egg message? omg “Children of the Vault. Come to Promethea. We are not on Pandora anymore. Tannis is not what she seems. Do not open the Vaults.” and everyone is like ‘uh did that thing just mention Tannis by name??’ and now it’s REALLY important to get the map back just so we can figure out wtf it’s trying to tell us. 

i will question how ‘Tannis is not what she seems’ would affect character relationships, especially if it’s said so early in the game. so perhaps we only hear the first part of the message. maybe it’s corrupted because it was recently broken. iunno. just playing around with ideas. the canon of this game is like flarp putty until sept. 13th

anyway moving on because this is literally the first f r a m e of the video

i like that you can see pandora’s eridian scar. if the destroyer is speaking through eridium to people, it’s gonna bust outta the side of this planet like you wouldn’t fucking believe lmao. eridium is a window to the soul and if you stare long enough into its glossy, shining sides, the destroyer stares back

that or it’s just like a beacon, slowly spreading its influence across the universe. but i like the idea that the destroyer can waltz out of a big enough hunk of eridium. so it will bust out of pandora’s eridium scar. F in chat for pandora but also lmfao the amount of tentacles and rage would be unparalleled.

reality is that the twins are probably farming this scar for eridium to turn into slag for multiple purposes. like brainwashing their cultists, giving them powers, and ensuring their guns have their manufacturer’s quirk (im getting to this in my next post bc im just gonna compile all the ign gun videos into one big post)

the floor art is different from the actual sanc-iii demo. i mention this first in my behind closed doors panel analysis, but im gonna mention it again because this is ~official~. the floor list on the first walkthru of sanc-iii we got had the names of all the crimson raiders and lines leading to their shops. so we had the infirmary/tannis, marcus, moxxi, etc listed on the floor. i imagine this new sanc-iii will change as we get more people on board or if we do a sort of re-decoration of the ship.

also also, it’s cool to see that we have 4 rooms on the minimap, likely one for each of the VHs (and your coop buddies). ive seen speculation that the other, non-played VHs will hang out in their rooms when you’re not playing them, and tbh i really hope this is the case.

we also know this version of sanctuary-iii is after pandora, so there are no promethea citizens aboard yet. which makes me double certain the first sanc-iii video we got takes place either after endgame (explaining why Lily has her tattoos back) or right after Athenas (explaining why Maya is there). which... i mean... spoilers, guys. 

that’s one good lookin fast travel station, holy shit

im in tears over here because “Caution: no steppy”. this is so fucking funny to me

no steppy on me

okay moving on because i will cry laugh over this for forever im allowed

moze’s room is so much different than amara’s

also i notice she’s on the left of the two on the top, which makes me hope the other 4 are reserved for the other VHs (or your coop buddy).

compared to the official sanc-iii demo video

and amara’s room

moze’s is so barren oh my god

someone get this girl like... a colorful throw pillow or something

baaank. also doubles as the secret stash. kinda upsetting, because that is infinitely less loot i can store when i make a lot of characters. also if i upgrade the bank once, is it upgraded across all my other characters too? or are the guns i put in storage slot 11 locked up until i buy the upgrade?

either way, i am saddened because no more mule characters. and way less space the more characters you make and more gear you find, because all gear you put in here is there across all characters. i hope this means our backpacks will be a lot bigger this time around!

supamax mfg shows up again

ppm/04-02 matches up with the number behind the fast travel station. i wonder if this will come into play. if the number changes later in-game im going to freak the fuck out bc that means wherever we are isn’t actually sanctuary-iii

ppm/04-02. remember that 👀

also, the wall behind the golden chest changed from red to steel/greenish. can’t tell the actual color. same as the floor

you know. that color.

“golden keys are popular. you can get some in-game and also get them online”

in-game you say??? im interested! i wonder if there will be some sort of arena (like moxxi’s) where if you complete it you get a key as a reward. i saw people speculating about some sort of randomized boss rush, that could definitely be a way to get gold keys, as well.

oooo engine room! im excited to explore here.

original size is 16. so, we have 40 backpack slots! still... you know... only 1 above the max of bl2, but hey. at least that’s an upgrade. as small as it may be

on the bright side: bank upgrades increase capacity by 5. with a base of 10, and 8 upgrades, we have 50 slots to fill. which is a big leap from the original 24. it is still a shame we have to share these across characters, tho

offline cultist stream? makes me think the CoV really was trying to steal/take over sanc-iii from the crimson raiders and we went to go take it (back?) in Taking Flight. either the CoV found/ordered Sanc-III, or the crimson raiders were building it/fixing it up, their stronghold got taken over, and the CoV were prepping it for takeover.

the shooting range. and if you notice that little CoV symbol in the bottom left there? yeah pretty much backs up my previous theory

all those red bits are tied to ellie’s crew challenge. so we’ll be collecting things for her!

an altar for scooter 😢

“we’re gonna get those cultism sumbitches, believe you me”

where you get yeeted out of Sanc-III. im definitely going to try jumping in it to see if it kills me. doesn’t look like the drop pods are available yet

that’s not clappy, pretty sure he’s hanging out on the bridge right now

schematics for veronica

the thing i was most excited about in this video!

loooots of customizations! which excites me because i know eridium used to get useless late game when you’ve grinded all the raid bosses. it looks like eridum is going to be in ultra high demand. but u can bet ur ass im gonna be unlocking all those fucking customizations asap.

veteran rewards is also super super interesting

hgggggg i wanna know what the shields do!!! 

i like the vault symbol at the top of the item card as well, shows you its a special type of weapon/item. im honestly surprised we’re able to buy ‘veteran rewards’ so early in the game? i mean obvi we won’t have enough eridium (look at the costs!) but it’s wild it’s even accessible. im personally a fan of the first bonus ‘anointed: gain life steal on action skill end’

looks like these guns have been chosen

to give them those special bonuses

i do see that just anointed is not class specific, but the ones that say anointed gunner or maybe anointed siren will be (confirmed by the devs in video).

you pay with eridium, so maybe the vending machine has some way to confer the power of eridium to the guns. or some shit. iunno. it’s possible this won’t be available until the end of the game, hence veteran rewards, and is only being shown to us right now since this is a showcasing video.

pandoran civilian. no promethea civilians today folks! i am CONVINCED that the old sanc-iii demo takes place after the end of the game. at least after athenas.

it’s weird seeing moxxi hanging outside her bar.

is also cool to know that the 4 slot machines are actually available. seems like npcs can play them, but we can use all 4 if we want to. which is really nice

the one on the far left is called the ‘loot boxxer’ and it gives mostly guns lol. i see they are taking jabs. good for them

better pic of the leftmost machines

Zer0 seems to have a bounty board? not sure if this is like a physical bounty board or if they will contact you when they want something dead, but it is cool to note. this isn’t shown in video, just the devs speaking about it.

similarly hammerlock has ‘big game hunts’ where you find “rare, challenging creatures” and kill them for him

apparently we’ll be killing something known as a manvark

this book

i fucking recognize this book

HAMMERLOCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

in all seriousness tho

hammerlock probably isn’t in his room because we haven’t rescued him from eden-6 yet.

a cool thing about the crew challenges: as you progress through the game and do these challenges, sanc-iii will ‘grow and change to reflect the things you’ve accomplished’. altho another dev says “sometimes these are optional things, like challenges” 

so now im like oh shit we’re gonna change sanc-iii as we play the game. i wonder if that means we’ll be changing the hull, too. because you know. the blue paint job. we gotta go STEALTH. sneaky beaky into the calypsos fleety

tannis doesn’t have the saurian on her table. also, interesting note, she DOES have the eridian log in the corner. meaning she must have had that before eden-6. interesting... maybe we’ll find more on Pandora.

she is still covered in blood tho. idk i don’t have an explanation for that. don’t think i want to think of one, to be quite honest.

oh no. (those are skulls next to all the gurneys)

“tannis plays a much bigger role in bl3 than she has in past games”. bigger than borderlands 1? that is... impressive. she’ll be running the health vending machines (which is weird bc i could’ve sworn in the promethea demo, zed was still running them... hm.)

another angle of sanc-iii

clappy? you good there?

the devs said they’re using him to plug a hole. i assume the calypsos shot at the ship as we’re leaving or smth.

lily with no tattoos, who also looks significantly more pissed than her other sanc-iii demo counterpart

you know. because she got her tattoos.

also

fucking

lilith says something right here. all i can make out is “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like tannis said. ..... [inaudible] Siren.” maybe some weird word i haven’t heard before? i swear she’s saying ‘like tannis said: a ‘m...’ Siren” but i am not 100% sure. if someone could help me out, that’d be rad.

so its sounding like lilith rushed in with explicit warning from tannis about tyreen stealing her powers, and tannis knew tyreen was some sort of Siren and warned lily, but lily didn’t listen. it could also be that lily is saying something like “im not a siren” but i can’t really hear it if she is. it sounds like she saying a word that starts with m to me. if someone could help me with this i’d owe you my life

whew. i am. fucking TIRED.

im gonna sleep for like 3 hours and then wake up and make food before the fl4k streams start.

[writcraft]

How do you feel about Neville Longbottom? Do you ship him with anyone specifically? And what are your thoughts on his boggart being Snape?

Hello!!! Thank you for the ask. I love Neville. A BAMF in a cardigan, honestly (sorry, film reference, lol). One period I’ve never fully explored in fic but love thinking about, is the so-called ‘Silver Trio’ of Neville, Ginny and Luna at Hogwarts during Deathly Hallows. I sometimes think of Neville as like a cosy jumper and then I catch myself and remember everything he has seen. The things he’s been through. Going to visit his parents, keeping the sweet wrappers. There are so many Harry/Neville parallels it’s unreal, and I think Neville shows unflinching bravery on so many occasions. He’s not the ‘chosen one’ and he’s a very different character to Harry, but he is motivated by similar things, by the fire and grief of having his parents stripped from him by Voldemort, by his unflinching desire to do the right thing. He’s a reluctant warrior, much like Harry, fighting a war he perhaps doesn’t feel prepared for, but picking up his sword and knowing instinctively who to trust, based on his beliefs and his big, strong, heart. He often instinctively feels quite warm and fluffy - which I love and totally buy by the way - but I also think (like Harry) there’s a darkness there too, a possibility for exploring all kinds of directions, particularly when factoring in what Hogwarts was like during the period Harry was off destroying Horcruxes. The hints we get about the school during that period are honestly devastating and I think they hardened Neville. 

HIS BOGGART IS SNAPE. Yeah, look, you know I am a pro-Snape blog but I’m fully prepared to acknowledge Snape was an absolute dick to Neville. Snape was a dick to a lot of people. That’s…Snape. I think what’s super fascinating though is how Neville’s ‘Riddikulus’ manifested. He’s scared of his grandmother and he’s scared of Snape and by merging the two together he banishes a fear of them both. What’s most fascinating of all though is unlike the other examples we see in the text, Neville is scared of humans, not monsters. I think that tells us a hell of a lot about Neville and the life he’s led and the things he’s been raised to fear the most. For Neville, monsters don’t exist. It’s human capacity for evil that scares him the most. I’m just going to cry, if that’s okay?

After waxing lyrical about my Neville love, I confess I don’t massively ship him with anyone. I don’t write a lot of Neville fic or have mad shippy feels about him with someone, but if I did I’d probably ship him with Ginny because canon(ish) or - oddly as this has just occurred to me - Charlie Weasley. I think that would be a cool pairing to play with.

ask me stuff, tell me stuff - whatever goes!

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam season 3, episode 8 reaction

I am so, so excited to talk about this episode. It’s probably my favorite overall episode of Skam, maybe tied with episode 5 of this season. It took me forever to write this one because it’s so jam-packed with things to talk about, and I know that despite my best efforts, I’ve likely forgotten something. 

This is the show firing on all cylinders: the acting, writing, directing, editing, music are all excellent. The social media content from this week is brilliantly deployed. Watching episode 8 in real time was one of the best experiences in the fandom, as Julie kept us happy with amazing Evak content and wonderful interaction with Isak’s friends, while also stringing us along with a feeling of dread. Something was off. Something was coming to knock us on our asses, and every clip and text message kept the speculation flowing as we waited for answers. 

I meant to get all the S3 reactions done before the first S3 remake starts airing, but lmao, that’s not happening. I do want to finish them by the end of October, though.

Episode 8

Clip 1 - The clip that turned us into Gabrielle stans

Saturday, 11:11 - the repeating numbers have returned!

Isak wakes up the morning after spending the night with Even, alone again. The other side of the bed is conspicuously empty. Poor Isak! You know how crushingly disappointed he must feel this time. Like … if Even has left him again, Even basically used him for sex and then bailed. What an asshole. That’s even lower than everything else that has happened so far. Isak must be feeling so stupid at this point. You know he thinks that he’s fallen for Even’s bullshit yet again, and angry at himself for giving in to Even’s Evenness. He just had the night of his life, and now it was all a lie.

He even checks the pillow for signs of a sketch left behind, and that little detail tugs at my heartstrings. He knows Even’s patterns now, and he’s really hoping for something.

He checks his phone but there’s no text from Even, just one from his dad telling him about wanting to go to a Christmas concert with Isak and his mom, but lol, Isak doesn’t have time for his dad’s shit right now.

Please note the strategically placed toilet paper on Isak’s nightstand. I will leave it to your imagination why it is there. But I will say that I kind of love the production team for even thinking of this, lmao. Talk about attention to detail.

Isak gets dressed and when he opens his door, we hear faint laughter coming from elsewhere in the apartment. I will say that when I first watched this clip, I definitely expected this to be the case, that Even was making breakfast or using the bathroom or doing something else in the flat and hadn’t actually left. Otherwise it would be too repetitive, you know? How many times can Skam show us Even bailing on Isak before enough is enough? But obviously, the seeds are in place to make us think this could be the case. It’s a clear parallel to episode 5 when Isak woke up alone to just a sketch and Eskild and Noora’s curiosity. Still, isn’t it such a relief when we hear Even’s voice? When he’s just hanging out charming the pants off Eskild and Noora?

The way Isak creeps into the kitchen like he’s not sure this is real, that maybe he’s still dreaming. Or maybe he just doesn’t know what to think about this whole thing. I mean, he did just sleep with Even after they were apart for weeks, he doesn’t know what Even’s deal is, if Even still has a girlfriend…

I love that Isak has a Simpsons shirt, by the way. The Simpsons peaked like … before Isak was born, but the older episodes are still classic. And we get this super intense scene where Isak is about to climb Even like the tall Norwegian tree he is and he just has Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie chillin’ on their iconic sofa to bear witness. Personally I don’t think The Simpsons are a good aphrodisiac but Even is so hot for Isak that Isak could be decked out in full Krusty the Clown cosplay and Even would want to hit that. (I think this is Tarjei’s shirt? I try not to dig too deep into that kid’s life out of respect for his privacy but at the same time, Tarjei’s existence is like … fascinating.)

But oh man, imagine Isak creeping into the kitchen and seeing Even interact with Eskild and Noora. These two people are meeting Even! They are meeting the guy he likes! Especially Eskild, who knows about the Isak/Even drama in detail! It’s got to be nerve-wracking even though Even is clearly getting a positive reception. I mean, it is like Mom and Dad are meeting the boyfriend, kinda? It’s a very tangible reminder that this thing with Even is real, that Isak’s relationship with Even is going to have to be public eventually, or at least known to the people in his life.

Let’s respect that it’s 11 in the afternoon and Noora is fully dressed and Eskild is just in a blue silk robe. That sounds about right for their characters. (Are you a Noora or an Eskild in terms of weekend apparel? I’m definitely an Eskild.)

I love seeing Even, Noora, and Eskild all smiling together. Noora and Eskild are smitten. I mean, who wouldn’t be? A cute swoopy-haired dude is cooking breakfast in your kitchen. Shout out to Josefine for getting in some light hair twirling as she stares at Even.

One of my favorite things about Even is how well he gets along with the other people in Isak’s life. He’s warm and friendly to his roommates, to his friends, etc. Even is just a very social person, but I think it’s cool how he makes other characters feel at ease. And Even being so likable has got to be helpful for Isak, too - it’s hard enough to come out, but his new boyfriend being charming and winning people over might lessen some of his fears about how they’ll be perceived. At least he won’t have an awkward divide between his friends and his boyfriend.

I love Even’s delivery of “God morgen” and the way he just plants that kiss on Isak. Isak is standing there with his hands in his pockets, not sure what’s happening, but Even is confident and happy (and well… manic). Still, the way he grabs Isak’s face before laying a quick, solid smooch on him? Swoon. You know Isak was wondering how he was going to introduce Even to Eskild and Noora, what exactly he was going to say (what did Even tell them before Isak walked in???) and then Even swooped in and planted a kiss on him and it’s like, well, that probably says it all, doesn’t it.

This is a good way to clinch that things have changed, too. Even isn’t going to run from this relationship this time around, he’s making more of a commitment. At least this is what I felt - I’m sure you could still have doubts about him, as many viewers did, but man, I felt sure from this moment that Even wasn’t going to bail like before.

Okay, it’s going to bug me what Even brushes away on Isak’s face. I assume it was some cooking ingredient, butter or oil or whatever, that Even got on Isak’s face when he put his hand there to kiss him. I have a lot of feelings about that little gesture, though! It’s so simple but such a sweet thing, just a tiny expression of taking care of someone. It’s so fond and domestic that it makes my heart swell. Even Bech Næsheim loves Isak Valtersen a whole lot, guys.

This exchange with the good morning kiss is shot over Eskild’s shoulder, and it gives you the impression of watching it through Eskild’s eyes. Imagine looking at this 17-year-old kid who you’ve known mostly as closeted and grumpy and miserable, who you let sleep in your basement and then move in with you because he didn’t want to go home, who’s been struggling just to acknowledge when a man is attractive, and here he’s got this very attractive man staying overnight and kissing him in front of other people. It’s like watching a butterfly break out of its cocoon. How happy and proud must Eskild have been of Isak in this scene! I mean, even if he’s still befuddled and dazed, Isak also just let Even kiss him in front of other people. That’s what we call character development.

Even making a ton of food for breakfast is very sweet, what a thoughtful boyfriend, but of course it takes on a new context once you know Even is manic. This was one of the little clues that people picked up on and that stood out to me. He doesn’t make just one or two dishes for breakfast, he makes everything. 

Honestly Even makes me really sad throughout this episode. I think he got it into his mind that making everything for breakfast was a romantic comedy thing to do. I mean ... it literally is. He gets some of his ideas in this episode straight from Pretty Woman, including this one from a part where Richard Gere orders everything on the menu for Julia Roberts; he remembered that scene and wanted to make his own version of it, and because he’s manic he took it further than it needed to be. And cooking a lot of breakfast isn’t a huge deal, but unfortunately it’s going to escalate.

Henrik does some of his best acting in this episode. A lot of it is related to him conveying mania but there’s also how wonderfully smitten he is with Isak. Look at how Even glances toward Isak while Noora is talking! Just lovely, taking in Isak in a way that’s casual but conveys his affection. Of course Isak is having a Moment but Even is, too. Even just got to sleep with the boy he’s been pining over for months. He looks at him so fondly. He has this slight smile on his face, like he’s just so thrilled to see Isak, and that he just wants to make Isak so happy.

Both Noora and Eskild shoot some looks at Isak, too. Noora realizes that Isak and Even probably want to be alone, so she tries to make an excuse for her and Eskild to leave. Eskild, I think, is still monitoring Isak’s reactions, making sure he’s okay with everything, taking in his godkitten’s emotions on this fine Saturday.

God, they’re all so cute. My heart grows a couple of sizes just watching this scene. I would give anything for more domestic snippets of Kollektivet + Even just hanging around on a lazy afternoon. I am happy that Evak got their own place in S4 since the flat was overcrowded and you know Even was over there constantly so it was like five people lived there, and the Evak love nest turned out to be a tiny domestic paradise. But I wish we could have seen more of this awesome Kollektivet dynamic before Isak moved out.

Lol, Noora is seriously checking out Even. She’s even more shameless than Eskild here.

Noora and Eskild are leaving to do “yoga.” Water yoga. What do you think they actually did? Grabbed coffee and gossiped about Evak?

Isak knows shit is up, and I’m pretty sure Even realizes there is no water yoga awaiting Isak’s roommates, but he’s just amused and delighted to get more alone time with his boy so he’s going to play along.

Eskild and Noora kind of dawdle out the door, knowing they should go but still wanting to see more, more! Noora gives Isak a big beam before she leaves and Eskild touches Isak on the stomach. They’re both so thrilled with this development. 

Even paraphrases Pretty Woman at Isak (“I didn’t know what you’d like so I made everything) and then quizzes Isak on what film it is. But when Isak is confused, Even doesn’t explain, give a hint, or pursue the question further. He just moves on. Again, a small moment. But it’s a clue as to how Even’s mind might be racing from topic to topic.

Even blowing on the eggs and then giving Isak a taste test - how gallant of him. He’s just so pleased and wants to do all these nice things for Isak, treat him to good food, sex, spoil him in all ways.

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, BEST OTP BEST BEST

This is Even’s dad’s recipe according to Julie’s script. I really want to know a lot more about Even’s parents and family life. They seem to be generally supportive of him, his sexuality, and his mental illness, or at least we don’t hear about any major problems with how they treat Even, but there’s so much more we could’ve known about his home life.

After I saw this scene I made scrambled eggs with sour cream a few times, and they were pretty good. Thanks, Even!

Let’s all admire that one jaunty curl hanging against Henrik’s forehead.

Isak’s reaction to everything is so good, I’m proud of him. He doesn’t get swayed by Even being all affectionate and cooking breakfast; he stands his ground and pushes Even about the state of their relationship, getting out his concerns, not being afraid to show what makes him less happy. He may have lost his chill when Even showed up at his door last night, but the morning after, he’s going to make sure they talk a bit. The shock of Even not being in his bed reminded him that, oh yeah, things between them are very uncertain and Even has been leaving him hanging for the last few weeks. Isak’s in too deep. This isn’t a casual thing. He cares for Even so much, so he needs to make sure Even is on the same page.

I don’t think Even realizes that Isak was pretty upset when Even wasn’t there. It might be because he’s manic right now, and that he cares for Isak so much that obviously Even wasn’t going to walk out on him. In his mind, the idea is ridiculous, so he’s trying to reassure Isak that he was here the whole time.

Isak is not reassured though, he has plenty more questions. Like “Does Sonja know where you are?” which is really code for “Are you still together with Sonja?”

Even responds so quickly that he’s not with Sonja. So as I stated in the last recap, I think he was broken up with her well before last night, and Isak was under the impression they were still together because of the kiss. But I think the kiss was a one-off or temporary thing. 

Again, round of applause for Isak for not dropping the subject, for continuing to push the topic of Sonja and letting Even know he can’t just forget about her.

I bet Even realizes during this scene that Isak saw him kissing Sonja. I wonder if he heard the rumors going around school that there was a fight at Emma’s party, between Isak and Mahdi, and that gave him suspicions. Because that would mean Isak was there, at the same party, and Isak had some reason he was pissed and physically lashing out at people, and it could possibly be related to Even dumping him or Isak seeing him and Sonja together. This just confirms that Isak knew all about it. You can see Even react to this information, that it’s probably something he feels bad about and that it’s something he doesn’t really want to talk about, or explain more about his thing with Sonja, but Isak’s called him out on it.

Even’s rant about Sonja is … off-putting. Sure, she’s his ex, and we saw them fight. But we also saw them be kissy and affectionate together. And Even is the one who’s dumped her, who cheated on her. It seems like a lot of anger directed toward her when we haven’t seen her do anything particularly wrong at this point, other than get on Even’s case about drinking too much beer in episode 4. But of course it makes more sense when you realize her attitude toward his mental illness.

Also, Even’s answer to Isak’s query isn’t really an answer? Isak wants to make sure that Sonja isn’t still in the picture and Even goes off on her personality and their problems. Which … isn’t really a yes or no. There’s no clear answer to why Even got back together with Sonja, or why she would have this control over him in this first place. This scene gave me a prickle of unease because something’s clearly going on with Even that we don’t know yet. I don’t think Isak really comprehends what Even’s talking about, either, just that his final point - that she can’t know what Even feels - is something he understands on a universal level, and an area where Even needs his support.

Notice that Even does most of this rant turned away from Isak, talking with his back to him, like he’s still hiding something. We can’t fully see his face or his expressions. That’s totally deliberate of Julie. Even could have been talking with Isak directly, with eye contact, but of course she wants to create the sense that something’s still off, there’s something we’re not getting. That Even isn’t letting Isak (or us) in on everything. We really don’t see his face at all for some of this scene. It’s only when he looks back to Isak, asking if he understands, that we see his face again. Because that’s when Even is inviting Isak in, not trying to keep him away from things he doesn’t want Isak to know.

Of course, Even’s rant makes a lot more sense after the hotel scene, and it’s a huge key to understanding his character and his relationship with Sonja. Even is used to relying on Sonja for “control” - as a presumably neurotypical person, her judgment can be trusted, while Even’s is doubted because of his mental illness. Their relationship is such that Sonja is the one who calls the shots and tells Even what he’s feeling. It’s gone on so long that Even now doubts himself and his own judgment and defers to Sonja’s. “Everything she says is true” - does he really think that? Or is he just used to Sonja’s judgment being “right” no matter if he agrees?

But he’s tired of it, and he wants some independence. And I think his feelings for Isak are that deep that they’re the catalyst for not wanting to rely on her judgment anymore. She’s telling him that his feelings for Isak are fake and he knows they’re not in his heart.(Though honestly, I think it’s likely that some part of him did kind of question whether Sonja was right about his feelings for Isak not being real. His rant gives me the vibe that her words wormed his way inside his head and he’s frustrated over that. Ultimately his feelings for Isak were so strong and vivid that he trusted them instead of her opinion. He could feel them and know they were real and that overpowered the doubts.)

But this is part of why Even ran hot and cold at first, why he was flirting with Isak while backing off and being with Sonja. His romantic feelings for Sonja have faded a lot, and he knows they don’t work as a couple. But Sonja has been there for him through the worst times, and she’s safe, she’s someone he can lean on. Dumping Sonja means he has to start relying more on his own judgment. And for someone who isn’t used to trusting his own mind, that’s scary.

My interpretation is this: Sonja told Even some version of what she tells Isak at the end of the episode - that Even’s feelings for Isak are not real and are just the result of his mania/mental illness. She did not really believe that Even was breaking up with her for good. It was just temporary and he’d come back to her once his manic episode had ended. When she kissed him at Emma’s party, it was under the assumption that they weren’t really done. Maybe she was even aware that Isak was no longer in the picture - it’s possible she and Even were still in contact, or Emma told Sonja that Even was at the party alone and not with Isak. Who knows! Many options. But I really think that Sonja doubted the veracity of Even’s feelings for Isak, manifesting in her kissing him at the party, and that’s what he’s addressing in his rant about her here, even if Isak can’t know that’s what it’s about. And this is why he chooses to tell Isak about these qualities of Sonja now, even though it seems almost like a tangent. I think they have a lot to do with his relationship with Isak, specifically - it’s not just random. Sonja has said things about Even’s feelings for Isak that are weighing on Even’s mind.

This sounds like a pretty harsh take on Sonja, so just to reiterate: I really like her as a character, I think she’s sympathetic and overall a good person. But she does have this big flaw.

Even looking back at Isak after his rant is so meaningful. He needs Isak to understand him. It’s so important to him that Isak get what Even is saying, even if Even isn’t being upfront about everything. Isak has to believe him that Even knows his own feelings, and that those feelings are for Isak. And even if Isak doesn’t know everything, Isak does get it. He gets that Even needs him to understand.

Again, Henrik does some good acting here. His rant is strikingly angry, totally different from his softness with Isak a moment before. Then he turns back to Isak, and that one little question and one look are super vulnerable. It’s a deft shift from emotion to emotion.

Let’s talk about chemistry again, because wow. Look at Tarjei swallowing when Henrik approaches, look at Henrik roaming his eyes over Tarjei’s whole face. These are two actors whose entire bodies are in sync with each other. They’re acting with everything they have.

Even literally closes the distance as they wrap up the tough part of this conversation that might push them apart, and they now can just be together again. He looks Isak up and down, vulnerable. He pushes his forehead against Isak’s and is sure to rub their noses together - their shared gesture of intimacy. He swallows before going into this big confession.

I love how you can hear every breath and every swallow over the background hum of the radio. Like we are right there in the thick of this private moment.

Even’s confession is so raw and intimate. Fragile. He’s really sticking his heart out there. He’s telling Isak that Isak is the one, he may have been with Sonja for years but what he feels with Isak is something special. It’s very, very real.

Again, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Even says this right after talking about Sonja thinking she knows what Even feels. Like it’s not just a romantic confession, but I believe it’s a refutation of what Sonja has said. She said Even’s feelings weren’t real. Even is saying they’re so real they’re not like anything else he’s felt before. Even is making sure Isak doesn’t just hear this, but that he feels it. Feels Even’s closeness, how Even looks at him so intently before and while he says this.

And Isak’s voice drops to a whisper - because this is just between the two of them - as if this emotion is so strong that he’s almost overcome with its power (good job on this delivery, Tarjei) and says he feels the same way. This is something special between them, on both sides. And then they kiss. Isak being able to be so candid and open about his romantic feelings for a boy is truly a gift. 

I 100% think it’s justified to have the camera on Isak’s face during this incredibly pivotal moment. But damn, don’t you wish you could have seen Even’s face reacting to Isak confirming his own feelings?

This kiss is beautiful, by the way. The good morning kiss was casual, easy, instantaneous. This kiss is coming after a period of some tension, and now their emotions and feelings for each other are being laid bare, it’s so delicate. They don’t kiss right away; there’s a pause as it’s like they’re breaking a spell.

When they break away, there’s that intimate little nose rub again, and Isak clearly looks ready for more kissing. Or more than kissing. He wants Even soooo much, he’s pushing his face forward for another kiss. 

Of course, St Gabrielle intervenes, and Even gets distracted from further makeouts. Even, you’re killing Isak here. The way Even turns his head away at first? A tease.

Now here’s where I really want to praise the hell out of Henrik’s acting in this scene. The first time I watched this scene, it was in unsubtitled Norwegian. Because frankly, how could I possibly wait for subtitles after that glorious finale of episode 7? I was hooked on this story, no fucking way I was waiting any longer than I had to for an update. I just watched the clips on the official website and read a transcript afterwards. And during this scene, without having any idea what they were talking about, I knew what was up with Even. I could tell just from Henrik’s acting (and Julie’s directing, of course). His body language, his facial expressions. The way he easily and rapidly shifted between moods. The fact that Even just seemed cranked up to 11 - this was an Even who seemed vibrating with energy. Compare him to the baseline Even of say, episode 2, when he’s hanging out and smoking and cooking with Isak. Even is an extroverted, charismatic guy, but this seemed to be … extra. Honestly, the first time I saw this scene? The cuteness of the Gabrielle lip sync-a-thon was overshadowed by this queasy feeling I couldn’t shake. I fucking knew he was bipolar and that he was having a manic episode. And again, that was without the context of their conversation. Henrik nailed it here. Even here is not a caricature, he’s still Even, he’s just … more. A little too much.

And of course then I read the transcript and holy shit, is there a ton of foreshadowing in this scene.

Time to talk about 5 fine frøkner! First of all, let’s marvel at what a huge success this song was. From what I understand, it was already a hit by the time this scene aired, but this clip just made the song so iconic and associated with Skam? They played it at award shows when Skam was being recognized. They played it at gay pride parades (and I know it was a hit before Skam but you can’t tell me Skam didn’t make it more of an anthem). Have you seen those Spotify stats? 

After being featured in an episode in the third season, Gabrielle's song "5 fine frøkner" saw a 3,018 percent increase in listening on Spotify, with over 13 million streams and, at one point, rising to eighth place on the Swedish top music rankings.

Damn.

Julie originally wanted several other songs in place. One was “Joyride” by Roxette, as Henrik mentioned in an interview. But they couldn’t get the rights and had to use a Norwegian song. Julie suggested “Take on Me” by A-ha, which is a hugely well known song and a karaoke classic, that happens to be by a Norwegian band, but they decided it was too cliche? (”Take on Me” has one of the most iconic music videos ever, by the way.) In the script she also has a note about Maroon 5, though not a specific song. They then settled on “5 fine frøkner” which Henrik didn’t want to do at first because it had been everywhere like Despacito, lmao. 

Can you imagine if those songs were used instead??? One of the most beloved Evak scenes could have had a totally different feel.

I don’t know how I feel about “Joyride” being used, although I adore the idea of Even imitating the whistling at 1:08. And it’s great fun and captures the feeling of getting on this wild journey called love together. Join the joyride, Isak! But I don’t know if it’s be as catchy to lip sync. Plus “Hello, you fool, I love you,” as adorable as that would have been to see Even mouth to Isak … it seems a little forward??? Like even in the context of lip syncing pop song lyrics, that’s got to seem loaded given their confessions a moment previously, and I think maybe it would’ve been better for Even not to sing “I love you” in this situation.

Now, “Take on Me” - that one could’ve been amazing. I am a fan of that one as an alternate version. Tell me it wouldn’t have been super fun to watch Even mimic the falsetto in the chorus. Or “I’ll be coming for your love, okay?” (Idk, that seems less loaded than saying “I love you” directly, but STILL ADORABLE.) However, it’s still a little ominous and provides some foreshadowing - Even would lip sync that he’ll be gone in a day or two...

However, despite these other options, I think Gabrielle’s 5 fine frøkner was the best option. It’s a newer song, less tied to nostalgia or pop culture and therefore more free to become the Evak song since it has fewer past associations, if you follow me. (I mean,  I just heard “Take on Me” used prominently in Deadpool 2.) And the lyrics are perfect for this scene. Fitting and cute in the moment, ominous foreshadowing in the larger picture.

Even is so delighted when that opening starts to play, and it takes Isak a few moments to break out of his Even haze and recognize that there’s a song playing on the radio and that there are like, other people and things in the world besides him and Even at this moment.

AGAIN, LET’S ADMIRE THAT PERFECT CURL. And Even’s little smile and head bop to Gabrielle.

Isak seriously cannot believe this shit. Gabrielle is breaking up his makeout-maybe-more with Even. Fucking Gabrielle of all people.

This is such a departure from Even as we knew him, too. It’s almost like the beginning of the end of Isak’s more idealized perspective of him. Even’s past behavior aside, he’s been the cool guy, the hip artist, the film expert. He’s put Isak on to both Nas and Romeo + Juliet. Here we see a less cool side of Even. An Even dressed down, his hair not perfectly styled. An Even who turns out to be a Gabrielle fan. Like this is a relatively small trait but it’s showing us that there are hidden sides to Even that we might not expect, that he’s not all Norwegian James Dean swagger and artful blunts behind the ear.

But also, despite Isak’s protests, this is really cool for him to experience! Gabrielle isn’t music you listen to when you want to feel tough, like N.W.A. Even is someone who’s just being himself, who has interests that don’t fit into the mold of stereotypical boy that Isak was trying to emulate. It’s great for Isak to recognize that in someone he’s so into, as it will help him incorporate that attitude into his own life (and not, say, modify his answers on an online test to seem less gay).

Isak tries to make a joke about hashtags and roll his eyes at Even, and instead gives away the depth of his feelings. Isak, you dork.

“Mannen i mitt liv” is literally “man of my life” but translates more into “man of my dreams” in English. But yeah, Even is That Guy for Isak.

If you watch carefully, you can see Even’s eyebrows fly up when Isak calls him “mannen i mitt liv.” He’s so happy about it. Really, from Even’s perspective, remember what happened with Mikael, remember that he’s given up this four-year relationship to be with Isak, remember that he’s been keeping himself away from Isak because of what Isak said about mentally ill people. Now think about what it must mean for Isak to let it slip that he considers Even the man of his dreams. He teases Isak, because that’s what Even does, but Even is so damn overjoyed.

Isak keeps moving his head in exasperation at Even making a big deal out of his comment, although he’s a little amused, he’s trying to downplay it. Ohhh, it’s just about the hashtag! He doesn’t seem panicked or anything though, just maybe a little embarrassed that he put his heart on his sleeve when he didn’t mean it. Get used to it, Isak. You’re going to love it.

And indeed, Isak looks so warm and fond of Even even when he’s being teased. You know he damn well meant it.

This little kiss, ahhhh! I love it! Even goes in for it and Isak is like, a little stunned and full of affection. Even gets in a quick nose boop. They’re both sooooo happy and rapturous about each other. I feel okay saying they’re in love at this point. I’m not sure Isak realizes this is full-on love yet, but it’s sure as hell something deep to him, and he’s falling faster with every second. (I think Even totally loves Isak and knows it at this point, though.)

Tarjei swallows and then Henrik swallows like right after him, again, that is some chemistry. They’re clearly responding to each other and feeding off each other’s body language.

Even wants Isak to say the man of my life part again. It meant that much to him. Even has gone through so much shit and has been pining after Isak for months, and now Isak is saying that Even is essentially his perfect guy. How amazing would that feel???

I guess less amazing if you think about precarious Even’s situation is, and how he must know it, that it all could come crashing down once his bipolar disorder makes itself known or Isak finds out.

NAH I’M NOT GOING TO RUIN THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT, IT’S AMAZING

Isak openly tells Even he’s the man of his life, and again, character development, that he can make such romantic statements to another boy. That he’s putting everything out there for Even. I love that his voice is lowered, too. Like a whisper. It’s more intimate that way. Not a performance. Just for Even’s ears.

Kiss! Right as the music swells, like a Hollywood smooch.

Even can’t keep himself from smiling and dancing. Isak tolerates it because he is in love with this goofball.

I love Isak’s slight shyness in this scene, like he’s so happy but doesn’t know what to do with himself, or how to be so open about it.

Look at Even pouting and upping his dance after Isak says the song is shit. He just takes it as a challenge. Isak gets in an adorable little head bob and Even counts that as a victory. 

Part of me wishes the camera pulled back so we could have full view of Even’s dance moves, but it’s truly for the best that he’s all the way in Isak’s face, because this is such a close, connected moment for them. We don’t need any distance.

When we cut to Even fixated on Isak’s face at the end … hooo boy. Get you someone who looks at you like that.

For real, look at Even trailing his fingers along Isak’s face and cupping his neck and jaw. Look how completely gone Isak is. Look how content and warm Even looks, look at how he teases Isak a little with the movement of his face.

There are little cuts in this scene that make it clear that this was more than one take or that some stuff has been edited out. Like Even is right in Isak’s space touching his face and then he’s suddenly standing back not touching him. It kind of muddles the perception of time just a bit, if you’re paying attention, because obviously this song is really on the radio and they can hear it, but their actions are not totally in line with how the song is progressing, if you feel me? And that’s probably just because Julie wanted to splice together the cutest or best takes but I like it because it’s just slightly hazy and dreamlike. Not on the “Head Over Heels” level by any means, but enough that things are a little cinematic. We’re using the best takes, and Isak is so swept off his feet that it makes sense for it to be a more like a movie, a dream.

I really want to know how much direction Julie gave Henrik for this Gabrielle scene, because he’s so charming in it. Bravo if he was just winging his dance moves. 

I love that you can vaguely hear Even mouthing the lyrics at a certain point. And that he teases Isak again and gets all up in his face. (I also love that Henrik didn’t completely know the lyrics, it’s realistic.)

Him touching Isak’s face in tune with the song!!!! What a charmer!!!

Love that shocked face he makes when he pulls back, and that Isak mouths something back and squirms because he is just that turned on. (It looks like he mouths “me?” but of course that’s in English. But I think “meg?” would look the same? Norwegians, feel free to weigh in on what Isak is mouthing.)

Isak finally having enough of this and going in for a kiss, and Even accepting it ferociously, but still wanting to pull back and dance and sing and smile a little.

Man, this scene is SO cute even after watching it a million times, but yeah, the first time I saw it, what stuck with me was the things that were lurking beneath the surface. The way we linger on Even’s face, the music continuing to play … somehow there’s just a beat off of it.

But of course the lyrics!!! The lyrics! All about how “you make me go up in smoke” - obviously a cute declaration of Even’s passion for Isak, but also foreshadowing as to his mania. This is why “5 fine frøkner” was a perfect song. That beautiful double meaning.

That breakfast totally got burned. Or it got cold while Isak and Even found they were hungry, just ... not for food.

I’m just imagining Isak and Even dry humping against the counter and Linn wanders in, makes a bowl of cereal, and wanders out without comment or anyone noticing.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure this is one of the scenes that most garnered attention on social media and got newbies to watch Skam, other than the episode 5 cuddle scene. The fandom lost its shit after this scene aired. We were all blessed with Evak’s power and chemistry and cuteness. And also worried and fervently debating whether or not Even was mentally ill. It was a hell of a time.

Clip 2 - Isak and Sana and religion

Isak is typing away at his laptop. Doing his homework because he was obviously, ahem, preoccupied this weekend.

He gets a text from his dad, who’s snapped because Isak’s been avoiding him. The following exchange is pretty illuminating as to that dynamic. Isak’s dad has been pretty polite up til now in texts - I feel like he’s been making a concentrated effort to reconnect with his son. He knows Isak is unhappy with him because he left Isak’s mom. You can read into his texts a sense of over-politeness, IMO. But here, unable to get through to Isak, he snaps and defends his actions. He says there was nothing he could do for Isak’s mom and that he’s doing the best he can. In it he acknowledges Isak’s feelings of disappointment and anger; however, he doesn’t really apologize or acknowledge he could have done better.

Isak also is done with his dad, and taps out a rather sporadic text. Frankly, it’s kind of telling that he comes out to his dad so easily. First of all, this is the easiest it’s been for Isak to tell anyone about Even - and I do think Isak expects his dad to be OK with him being gay, as he said to Even in episode 5, but I also think that it’s a mark of how fed up he is with his dad and how little he cares about his opinion? I mean, he’s basically throwing his relationship with Even in his dad’s face, in a way. Not to upset him because of his dad’s homophobia, but to lay this huge fact on him without warning. Fine, Dad, you want me to go with you to the concert? I’m going to take my boyfriend!!! 

And Isak’s temper is maybe in action here, because he does this without really thinking and out of spite, when for many people this would be a huge life moment. It was for Isak when he came out to his friends. It will be when he comes out to his mom.

The line about Even being a boy’s name is so funny. Tarjei came up with it on set, bless him. I know it’s because the word Isak uses for boyfriend is gender neutral in Norwegian (I think), but it’s also so dramatic, in a way. Just to drive it home that Isak is in fact in a gay relationship. Gay! Super gay, dad! Get the message!

Also, the only way Isak thought he might get through this concert with his parents is by bringing Even along.

Isak takes a moment after he sends the text, and I’m sure he’s thinking, oh, I really just did that, but it still seems like he’s more guided by anger that anything. He’s just so pissed at his dad. How dare his dad call him out when his dad left them and let them down? What right does his dad have to scold Isak for his behavior when his own is awful?

I feel like Isak wasn’t super close with his dad, maybe even before his dad left. He never really seems to miss him the way he misses his mom? That might be because his dad has disappointed him and he no longer cares, but who knows what their relationship was like before things went to hell?

Dad thinks Isak might be kidding and I mean, I don’t totally blame him, that was a thing Isak dropped out of nowhere. To his credit, Papa Valtersen seems fine with his son dating another boy, so that’s one thing he has going for him. However, he says Isak’s mom gets stressed very quickly, basically implying that bring his boyfriend will upset Isak’s mom. Implying that his mom is homophobic and will not approve. More or less suggesting that it might not be a good idea to bring Even to the concert.

You can imagine what the implication that having a boyfriend would stress Isak’s mom would do to Isak - the last thing he needs to think about is his mom’s possible rejection. I think you can see it in his face - he starts to type out a whatever reaction to the text, but Isak does look a little shaken. It’s subtle but there. So the following conversation with Sana comes at a really good time for him. It would be good at any time, but especially when Isak’s dad has just planted doubts on whether Isak’s mom would accept Isak’s sexuality.

Isak tells Sana he forgot to do the assignment. I mean, Isak did study plenty of biology this weekend! Just ... not in the way he was supposed to.

Isak is so focused on trying to get his assignment done that he doesn’t really take in the entirety of what Sana’s trying to say. Sana is the one who’s actually nervous and trying to figure out what to say.

She sent Isak a link. Isak isn’t paying that much attention, he didn’t see it. Who has time to look at links when you have an Even in your bed?

Iman does some good acting here, with how she struggles to get out what she wants to say, how to approach the topic, how she admits she was wrong. It would be so much easier if Isak had seen the article! You can see her not really wanting to explain the article or not knowing how to broach the subject in a completely natural way, but she’s trying. (From the script: “Sana wishes he had read it so she doesn’t have to talk about it.” Iman displays that perfectly here.)

When Sana says the article is about evolution and homosexuality, that’s what finally gets Isak’s attention. He looks at her, but then looks away and doesn’t say anything. Probably a little tense over the topic being raised again. He knows why she’s bringing it up. He knows how this conversation went last time.

Sana says, “I’m very seldom wrong” (lol) but admits that she was wrong this time. Because she knows this is not some random argument they had, but that this is important to Isak. Because Sana may have a tough exterior, but she’s a kind person at heart.

Isak looks at her when she starts to talk about how she was wrong. He smiles just a little to himself, because he sees this for what it is. It’s not just an apology for Sana being wrong, factually; it’s an acknowledgment that she regrets what she said. She understands why he was asking. It’s pretty great of her that she remembered this specific conversation from weeks ago and considered the effect it would have on Isak, once the rumors started swirling and she realized he was probably gay.

Isak takes a moment and then finally responds to her, asking about Islam. Because that’s the issue that’s hanging between them. As Julie puts it in the script, “there’s still an Islamic elephant in the room.” Sana may want to apologize for saying the wrong thing and not wanting to hurt him, but are they cool? Is she okay with him being gay because of her religion? This issue is bigger than Isak and Sana. The topic of homosexuality as influenced by organized religion has very wide-reaching effects, greater than any two people. And Isak’s concern was that Islam, as a religion, is against gay people. Sana might be OK with him personally, but Islam might not. 

Sana gets sturdier here, because it’s hard for her to admit she’s wrong, but it’s easier for her to speak about her religion because her faith is strong. I wouldn’t say she gets annoyed here even though Isak is still kind of confronting her about her religion. I think she wants to stand up for both of them: she wants to represent her faith well and help Isak. Because Isak’s question really is one of vulnerability. (And Sana herself asks why Islam has to be against gay people in S4, so there’s something to unpack with her own feelings toward it.) But she really finds her voice here, and she’s giving Isak advice not to listen to the people who use religion to hate.

Isak doesn’t say anything else, but wow, he is moved by this. This is exactly what he needed, especially regarding the topic of his mom. She probably doesn’t even realize what a godsend her words really were. She’s given Isak the strength to come out to his mom, despite her religious views.

In the script, Julie refers to the biology teacher as “Boobs,” and it’s pretty fucking funny reading it for this highly touching moment to suddenly be cut off by a line from a character called Boobs. 

Clip 3 - Even meets the boy squad, Magnus hugs ensue

Most of this scene up until Sonja calls was improvised. It’s a really adorable scene, and it makes you wonder who came up with stuff like Even suddenly being like “it’s for the best you guys weren’t there 😏” Like imagine that Henrik just dropped that shit in there and the reactions of the other boys were genuine. (They probably planned it out on set, it’s just amusing to consider.)

The boys are planning to go out for pizza. They’re trying to convince Isak, who says he can’t skip class. Can’t he study at home, the boys ask? Well, no, Isak cannot study at home. He says it’s because you do better by attending class, but somehow I think this has something to do with Isak having an Even at home and knowing full well that he won’t be able to study there. He can’t sex in class, he has to sex at home; therefore he can’t study at home, he has to study in class.

But also I like that Isak is studious. Nerd.

The boys are laughing and WTFing at Isak’s comment about studying in class - he’s laughing too so he knows he’s being ridiculous - but his expression suddenly changes when he spots Even coming up the stairs. Coming toward them. Him and his friends.

It’s the moment of truth! His two worlds are going to collide; Isak is going to have to introduce Even. He must be so nervous about it - are his friends going to approve of Even? Will they get along? How does he act with Even in front of his friends? They’re a romantic couple but surely Even isn’t like, expecting a kiss or anything? In public???

Even, meanwhile, glances side to side, before stopping and greeting the boys. He doesn’t pretend like he doesn’t know Isak or anything, he comes right up to them. However, he waits for Isak to make the first move and introduce them. He doesn’t go in for a kiss or hug or anything, he just waits.

Meanwhile, the boys pause and look expectantly. Who is this dude? Magnus especially is starstruck. (Bi Magnus headcanon, activate!)

Isak knows he has to say something so he says, simply, that this is Even. Not Even-my-boyfriend or anything like that. Just Even. Because the boys will know and hopefully they can connect the dots. Isak looks kind of shy and unsure of himself, but he does it! Good job, buddy! Proud of you!

The boys are great and shake hands with Even, they don’t make a big deal out of Even in himself. As has been noted, Jonas introduces himself as Marlon, lmao, and Magnus thinks Even is Eivind at first.

As Even asks the boys what’s up, Isak just kind of stands there awkwardly and looks toward the ground. He’s still shy and not comfortable with this being-gay-in-public thing.

Even, however, is not shy. He looks like a fucking prince, and he’s looking at Isak like he’s a five-course meal. For real, check out that look he gives Isak right there! In public!!! His eyes are glowing, he gives him this little smile. And even Isak, being shy, can’t help but smile a little back. Very small, very shy, but he’s internally glowing. 

It is really something how Isak and Even find each other even when they’re in groups of other people. They have these private looks, you can feel their attention gravitating toward each other. That’s a mark of great chemistry and of true attraction between the characters. It’s very astute of Julie to include this detail time after time. Because that’s really how it is when you have a crush, right? You can’t help but look their way.

And this is such a private little glimpse between them. So much is said in that look, just how happy they are to be with each other, happy and blushy at all the stuff they’ve been up to in the last few days. As the boys keep talking, they’re in their own little world.

Magnus has an OH SHIT moment that this is Even, not Eivind. Isak’s Even!!! The guy who was coming to the apartment on Friday!!! Jonas and Isak are like, goddamn our friend is dumb. Isak is like cool, now Magnus is going to make a big deal out of this.

You can see Isak still trying to retain a semblance of casual and cool until Magnus is like, this is the guy you threw us out for, right? Magnus ruins everything, but he’s so earnest about it.

LMAO I love Tarjei’s reaction to this, his utterly exasperated face. That’s a good face.

Magnus makes sure to call Even handsome, hmmMMM (bi Magnus rise) and Isak weakly puts up a protest that he didn’t throw them out, while Even looks on, at first baffled, then amused. Look how fond Even is! He’s so happy that he was worthy of Isak kicking out his friends. That for all the cool Isak was playing it with Chiller hjemme, he was just as desperate to see Even as Even was to see him.

And look at that malfunctioning wink he gives! He’s adorable. Like you know he’s thinking how lucky he is that he gets to be with Isak, that he’s so happy at this moment in time.

The way Tarjei plays Isak’s feeble protests about throwing out his friends is so cute. He’s almost a little squeaky, his body language is young.

Even is like, wow, I guess this is a good time to drop in that we totally had sex.

I want to highlight Mahdi’s reaction, because he is fucking delighted by this news.

Isak is a little shocked, a little embarrassed, because holy shit Even is talking about their sex life in front of his friends?? But he’s also like … oh yeah, Even and I had sex, and that’s pretty cool. AND everyone here is cool with it, and that’s also cool.

Headcanon: Magnus actually has no idea what Even meant by “it’s a good thing you guys weren’t there” but he’s going to laugh along with everyone else and ask Jonas about it later.

Magnus and Even hug when the boys leave and my soul ascends. It’s beautiful. It’s so sweet, Even looks so happy, Magnus is so lovable here, like he’s saying, welcome to the family! Adorable. Even Isak has to smile a little at that even though his phone is ringing. I love Magnus/Even hugs and I will die on the hill of that friendship.

Jonas doesn’t actually say much in this scene. Maybe just because Magnus running his mouth dominates the scene, but you could interpret it as Jonas being a little more cautious than the others, because he is Team Isak first and foremost and he wants to get a read on this guy who’s been running hot and cold with his friends the past few weeks. Can he trust Even? Like he’s not going to be a jerk or anything, Jonas is a chill guy, but he’s going to scope out Even and make sure he’s good enough for his bro Isak.

Man, Even’s mood changes so fast when Isak say it’s Sonja who’s calling. He goes into scarily efficient panic mode. He shuts that shit down fast. Imagine what’s going through his mind? He was just SO happy about meeting Isak’s friends and bragging about them boning, and now here’s Sonja as a reminder that she’s going to ruin everything.

I mean, from his perspective, I also get why he’d be annoyed? He’s broken up with her and she’s trying to interfere with his life. She’s trying to tell Isak personal, sensitive information about him, something that should be private and his story to tell. Now it is possible that she knew something more - for instance, maybe she had been contacted by Even’s parents because they were worried about him, as he hadn’t been home much. In that case, I think her contacting Isak is more justified, especially if Even wasn’t responding to her texts or calls. But the idea that she’s calling Isak just to tell him about Even’s mental illness is not great. It’s extra not great if she was going to at some point include the whole “he doesn’t really love you” bit of information.

Isak is of course flabbergasted not only by why Sonja is calling him, but how Even’s mood changed so fast. I remember people were making serial killer jokes after this scene and suggesting that Even’s big secret was that he was a murderer and I mean ... there’s an AU for you.

“She wants to control you.” Uhhh, what? Again, Isak is confused. Nothing Even is saying makes sense. Because Isak doesn’t know Sonja, how the hell can she “control” him? This is also just such an over-the-top thing to say. Even could have said something like, “She just can’t handle that I broke up with her,” to get Isak to not pay attention to her. But instead he’s making Sonja’s sound something a step above in terms of nefariousness, like she’s a Bond villain.

I like that little tongue gesture Henrik does here, it’s like a tip-off that Even is lying or hiding something. Also his eyes are locked onto Isak, as if trying to make sure Isak buys what Even is selling.

Isak is not buying what Even is selling. Instead, he is making a lot of memeable faces.

Why would Sonja control Isak, of all people? Because she does not like people who live free and are genuine, according to Even - a nod to Even maybe not taking his medication, perhaps? We never hear more about this or Even’s treatment plan regarding his mental illness. Or else it’s just a reference to Sonja trying to monitor stuff like Even drinking and smoking weed. In any case, it’s a strange, confusing statement.

Even just goes in for a kiss, taking Isak off guard. Which is probably the intent. Get Isak’s mind off the Sonja incident with Even affection. Put him at ease, show him Even’s feelings for him.

I don’t want to attribute everything Even does here to being manic, because Even does do some impulsive or TMI stuff when he’s not manic. I mean, one of the first things he said to Isak was about sucking dicks. Dude is not shy about posting sex pics to IG and post-coital tissues on YouTube. But I do think you can see how being manic may influenced his behavior in this scene. He drops a sex comment and kisses Isak in ways that seem impulsive. If the kitchen scene shows him exhibiting signs of mania, then this one does too, especially considering he must have booked the suite later that night, and his texts after this clip make him seem like his mind is racing.

Isak is super surprised by that kiss. They’re basically alone in the stairwell so he doesn’t really freak out, but you know he was startled and panicked by that. Not to mention Even’s very strange behavior and answers that don’t really answer anything.

Even tells him how hot he is. Again, a distraction. Again an attempt to show Isak how much he cares. Isak is very confused but also flattered and a little horny, let’s be real.

Put yourself in Even’s mind during this. Sonja is potentially about to ruin everything. I feel like Even was aware that maybe there was an expiration date on this relationship. It’s interesting because part of his behavior with the songs and emojis and suite seem like mania, it’s just too much. But some of it isn’t that abnormal for a teenager in love, someone who is head over heels and in the flush of a new relationship. And some of it feels like a kid who is scared to lose someone, so he overcompensates to make the most of the time they do have and to try to convince his boyfriend that he does love him. That if Sonja tries to say his feelings aren’t real, Even can convince Isak otherwise. He wants to hang on to Isak so much.

This was a huge week for theorizing as you might guess. I think some people were still believing that Even was a creep and a two-timer, but more people were coming around to the idea that he was mentally ill (and bipolar in particular). It made sense with the hints dropped throughout the season. With this clip I remember more certainty from the fandom that Even was manic, because even Isak seems thrown by Even’s strange behavior.

Clip 4 - The hotel scene that destroyed us

15:15 - 1:01

Here we fucking go!!!!

Listen, I can completely understand why the hotel scene is traumatizing and hard to watch for people. Because it traumatized me too. However, it’s one of my favorite scenes of the season nevertheless. Everything about it is superb.

I’m pretty sure this is one of the only Skam clips to feature not just a starting point, but an end point. Some of that is surely because of how the clip stretches over one night, but it also gives it kind of a foreboding feeling, personally? Like …. This clip has an end point. Something’s coming to an end. (And it’s also the title of the clip, calling attention to the period of time.)

If you were watching this season in real time, you can remember when the clip went up, the events were still “happening” in real time for hours afterwards and it made everyone freak out that Even was leaving the hotel naked that moment, Isak was wandering the streets that moment… 

We see Isak at Kaffebrenneriet. I’m not sure if it’s the KB that Henrik Holm worked at but I think Julie got the idea from that, just like she had Even work there in S4 because of Henrik. (Who remembers the fandom when Henrik was still working at KB and all of a sudden fans starting taking pictures of him at work?)

Isak is sitting there by himself, waiting for Even, looking out the window, until he starts to write a text to his mom. I feel like Isak was psyching himself up to write this text, it wasn’t spur of the moment. Especially with how long it was and how he seemed to know what to say, other than a few pauses.

But he’s writing this text message because of Sana! I mean, not just because of Sana, obviously, he has to come out to his mom eventually. But his talk with her has given him the courage to face this moment. He’s taking her words, about God creating everyone to be of equal worth, and applying them in this situation with his mom. That’s why he phrases it like this. He even hesitates just a little bit as he’s typing that part, as if he’s trying to remember what Sana said or phrase it similar to how she did.

He’s also writing this thinking that he and Even will be going to the Christmas concert together next week, and perhaps he wants to tell his mom ahead of time instead of springing it on her. Just in case she does get upset.

But actually, how much did Isak think that through? Because we know he thinks he’s better off without mentally ill people around him, and he’d be introducing Even to his mentally ill mom. That’s a HUGE step. Isak doesn’t know Even is mentally ill at this point; he’s counting on Even being OK with Isak’s mom and not thinking she’s weird. He’s counting on himself not to feel embarrassed or ashamed of her. So I do think the the concert comment had a lot to do with annoying his dad, but I wonder if, had they not been separated at the time, Isak would have really asked Even to go with him. I can see it both ways.

Again, he comes out to his mom by telling he’s been with a guy - what he has been doing. Not that he’s gay - what he is. I think it’s especially important in this case with his mom how he phrases this - perhaps he thinks it’s better that she not see him as inherently something she might not approve of. 

In the script, Isak writes that he thinks he’s gay. On the one hand, I like him making the shift and being able to say that about himself in a text to his mom, of all people, since that makes it even more of a pivotal character moment. But him saying it in terms of dating a guy rather than being gay is consistent with how he comes out to everyone else throughout the season.

It really hurts that Isak says, “Sorry if it makes you sad.” I totally get why he says that, considering his mom’s condition and his dad suggesting that knowledge of Isak’s boyfriend would make her “stressed,” but it still hurts. No kid should have to apologize to their parents for “Making them sad” just by existing and being gay.

“Hugs from Isak.” Babyyyyyyy.

He pauses before he sends the text. For understandable reasons. 

This is a really important moment in itself, obviously. Isak is reaching out to his mom on his own, after being on the receiving end of her Bible-quoting texts for God knows how long, and presumably not responding. He’s being proactive and so, so brave in this scene. He knows there is risk in telling his mom that he’s dating a guy, but he does it anyway, with a clear head and some conviction in what he’s saying.

Isak’s mom doesn’t respond until the following day. Do you think she needed some time to process the text? It’s possible she just didn’t check her phone right away, and narratively her response has more impact if it comes right when Isak is at a low point and could use some words of support. Plus, it would have interrupted the flow of the hotel scene. But within the story, she might have needed some time to take in the information. I mean, we know Isak’s mom loves and accepts him. But it is possible that the news took her by surprise, and that she wasn’t sure how to react. Or maybe she did get “stressed” and needed to think it over or consider how she would respond.

I love that we see this whole text being typed. It’s just a scene of a text being written. Most shows wouldn’t consider this worthy drama to depict, but Skam does. We go through this process with Isak and it’s so immersive. We are there in his mindset.

And actually, I never thought about how acting this out would be? Obviously you have to strike the right balance of emotion, but you have to type for a while so you probably have to memorize the text so you can type it out for the right length of time and perhaps with convincing finger placement. Isak pauses at several points so he probably needed to remember to include pauses, and then the graphics team syncs up the text on screen. But it seems like kind of a challenge for an actor. You need to make this mundane moment compelling.

Isak rests after sending this text (or not since he’s probably thinking of how she could respond) but not for long because Sonja texts him. Sonja waited until now to text him, by the way, not right after the phone call yesterday. Probably she just waited until she thought Isak and Even might no longer be together (physically). 

I don’t know if saying “Even’s Sonja” is just a simple way of identifying herself as the girl who Isak would know through Even, or if this is a way of saying she’s still with Even, not quite believing that they’re broken up.

This adds to the tension since Even is clearly hiding something at this point and Sonja knows something we don’t. However, Isak and we the viewers don’t really have time to process her text, because guess who knocks on the glass? It’s Even! And he and Isak are wearing like the exact same outfit, lmao. OK, not the same outfit, but similar colors. It’s like they’re mirroring each other here, with their outfits and the fact that they’re not just face to face, but there’s glass between them, making it seem even more like a reflection. 

Henrik is fucking adorable in this scene, by the way. Look at that little head tilt as if to say “come outside”! And Isak instantly relaxes and smiles, no thoughts of his mom or Sonja, because here is Even. Even who makes his heart warm and who is so happy to see him. Here to make everything better.

The heart!!!! It’s the cheesiest, most beautiful thing in the fucking world! They improvised this moment on set, apparently, and I don’t know if it was Julie or Henrik or Tarjei or random grip #2 but bless whoever had the bright idea for the heart.

HE DRAWS A LITTLE I INSIDE OF IT

HIS WINK IS THE CUTEST. This is possibly the most darling Even is in the entire series. He’s bursting with happiness and love.

Isak is sooooo happy, too, guys! He has this dreamy boyfriend who clearly adores him! After going through the motions with girls, here’s a real relationship with someone who’s showering him with affection.

Isak is not happy, however, when Even tries to kiss him outside, looking around to who might be nearby. He might have been OK with a peck in front of Eskild and Noora (and he obviously wasn’t expecting it then, either) but on the street? In front of like … other people??? It’s understandable. He’s newly out of the closet to anyone, to the people he truly cares about. But being casually out and affectionate to his boyfriend in front of total strangers, where anyone can see them … he’s not ready for that. And that’s fine, and Even seems a little confused, but he doesn’t make a big deal out of it. Isak actually leans in just a bit for a moment, as if to say, I want to kiss you but not here, and Even seems to go along with that. He’s so damn happy to see Isak that it’s fine. To be honest, I think his mind is racing at this point and he might not even understand what just happened, but it’s good, it’s cool. Isak is here, that means all is well. He just looks at Isak and smiles with fondness.

He’s also so excited about this suite. He kind of draws out telling Isak about it, just a bit, and Isak doesn’t take it too seriously for a second, until he sees that Even is not kidding.

Even does his Even thing and just walks away backwards, mysteriously. Isak is like, why you always walking backwards like that? This line is not in the script so I would not be surprised if Tarjei improvised it, lol. But that Even, doing the most. Always favoring the drama of his exit rather than where he’s going.

“Daddy I love him!” is the place where it cuts off and it might be coincidence, but here’sanother opportunity to say that both Isak and Even are in looooove. Like I think Even knows already, and maybe this night, before shit goes down, is where it really starts to sink in that it’s looooove for Isak. I also think it’s possible Isak starts to realize it once he thinks he’s lost Even. I don’t know! Their relationship is so rich with content, you could point to any number of scenes and be like, ah yes, that is where they fell in love/realized they were in love.

The Danish receptionist! One of the few adults on Skam, and a nod to the Danish Skam fandom.

Look at Isak kinda trailing behind Even and hanging back just a bit, watching Even confidently check into his suite. It has to be a little nerve-wracking, right? This is a big gesture. But also, look at him watch Even and be like, wow, my boyfriend got us a suite. He did this for us. Even is spoiling Isak.

So Even has his own credit/debit card and is using it to book the suite, right? Since he shows his ID, that means he didn’t borrow (or “borrow”) a card from his parents? How expensive is this suite, anyway? On the hotel website it says to contact the hotel for rates for their signature suites, which seems like a sign that it’s pricey. And checking Expedia, the regular suites were in like the $700-$800 range, so it’s got to be more than that.

They don’t really go into what happened with Even booking this expensive suite and apparently ordering lots of room service and champagne, but it’s something that really makes me wince. I’m not sure what would have happened, if Even’s parents took care of the expenses afterwards, or if Even had enough funds to cover it. 

By the way, this is the suite they stay in. It’s the Polar Suite at the Radisson Blu in Oslo, which I know has been visited by Skam fans. It looks like the Skam crew perhaps moved some of the furniture around for filming.

Even’s delivery of this whole conversation with the receptionist is cute, really. Isak watches him, a little proud and charmed. And a little like lmao, this is weird. But I really like the inclusion of this conversation, because it suggests that Even is manic but it’s not like … over the top. It’s harmless enough that you could just take Even as being a very extroverted, friendly guy, who likes films and Danish things and is really happy about getting to check into a hotel to bone his boyfriend. All of that is true! There’s just something about it, though, the intensity, the talkativeness. For me it was that the Even we saw in this episode was a few notches above normal, from what we’d seen of him in earlier episodes. More hyper. Burning more brightly. 

As you might guess, Brothers and Antichrist are well-regarded Danish films, and Stjerner uden hjerner (Stars without brains) is a flop and one of the worst films ever, apparently. Antichrist is directed by Lars von Trier who’s one of the starters of the Dogme 95 filmmaking movement, the manifesto of which is shown on the Evak apartment wall in S4. So Even’s probably a big fan.

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but Even’s film taste is really varied! He can talk about Romeo + Juliet and Pretty Woman, he has Star Wars posters, he likes artsy depressing Danish cinema. He knows his shit.

I want Even to talk Star Wars with whoever in Kollektivet owns that Star Wars mug we saw in episode 7.

I kind of feel like Even asking Isak whether he likes Denmark is similar to him prompting Isak to catch his Pretty Woman references in the kitchen scene or in the burgers scene. His mind is flying and he’s expecting Isak to keep up. I’m not sure Isak is keeping up with the Danish film talk but he’s charmed by Even’s enthusiasm.

EVEN INTRODUCING ISAK AS HIS BOYFRIEND, WOW. WOWWWW. Earlier this week Isak was like, “We’re not official.” Son, you thought wrong. 

I mean, this has to be a little awkward for Isak, too, because surely this Danish receptionist knows now that he and Even are going upstairs to, well, fuck, and though I’m sure she doesn’t care, for Isak his sexuality is being made public and I can see how, for a guy who’s afraid to kiss in public, it would be a little overwhelming? But also, this has got to be one of the best moments in Isak’s life. Even is showing him off as his boyfriend and talking about how handsome he is. Tarjei plays that blushing pride so well. You can almost ignore that Even’s being a little TMI - not that he’s saying anything inappropriate, but that he’s just volunteering more information than necessary, unprompted. And that he keeps talking. He could probably have talked to this receptionist all day if he didn’t have an Isak to take to a suite. 

Isak’s reaction to Even calling him beautiful (”Isn’t this man beautiful?”) is utterly fucking cute. He just rolls with it, plays with it. He’s having a good time.

ISN’T THIS MAN BEAUTIFUL? Magic words, let’s be real.

Even says, “Very beautiful” in Danish but you can understand why people would interpret it as “My beautiful” since he was just speaking in English and it sounds exactly the same. 

ISAK IS NUMB WITH HAPPINESS

NUMB WITH HAPPINESS

Oh, Isak. I’m glad you got to feel this good in this moment, at least. He’s with his cute boyfriend who’s showering him with gifts, affection, and compliments. He must feel like a king. How did he get so lucky to find someone like Even? That Even chose Isak?

THIS FUCKING SCENE

The way the scene in the elevator is shot is so beautiful. Isak and Even ascending, looking down at Oslo, leaving it behind to go to their own private world. The constant movement of the elevator, slow and steady, makes it feel so calm.

There’s this one shot where they both look out the window where I personally read it as some awkwardness, like they’ve been fooling around all week and getting boners from stuff that happened in the shower but there’s some nerves in like … getting a hotel room on their own and what might happen there. And this utterly beautiful kiss from Even on Isak’s cheek, which feels like he’s not just trying to show Isak how much he cares, but soothe him and make this less nerve-wracking. And then that hug while Even kisses the other cheek, before they finally, finally kiss each other on the mouth.

Isak raises his eyebrows before the kiss and it’s just. All so good. Like this moment is just as intimate as what follows. They couldn’t kiss in public, but they can kiss here, in their own little space, alone together. And with their outfits and the positioning of the kiss, they’ve never seemed so in sync, like they’re two halves of a whole.

Skam’s music game is at its best here. “High for This” by The Weeknd is a phenomenal choice because that double meaning is sharrrrrrp. This song is apparently about drugs but it sounds like it could apply to sex, too. Personally, I do think that these lyrics apply to the fact that they’re going upstairs to have sex - if you view this as a new step in their level of intimacy, then these lyrics apply to any potential nervousness. “You don’t know what’s in store/But you know what you’re here for” fit that scenario perfectly, particularly with Isak, and with Even telling him not to be scared, they’re in this together. BUT of course it hints at what will happen later in the evening, too - “You don’t know what’s in store” because Isak has no idea his night is going to end in disaster. The song itself has an unsettling feel, too, like it’s the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. 

I do want to talk about the sex scene here and overall how sex was portrayed in S3. Overall, Skam does right by Isak and Even in its depiction of the sexual side of their relationship. Canons often feature noticeable double standards in their portrayal of the gay couples compared to the het couples. And it’s not that a canon has to include sex scenes for anyone, including its canon gay pairings, but the thing is, there is a stigma specifically against gay sex, and a tendency to make it seem dirty or perverted, with no room for love or romance. Or the straight pairings will get explicit sex scenes, while the gay couple will get ones that are comparatively more chaste, if they even get sex scenes. Skam does a really good balancing act. Isak and Even have sex and it is not the focus of their relationship, but it’s not something that’s ignored, either. Not only that, they get sex scenes like Jonas/Eva and Noora/William did. The fact that they get sex scenes on par with the straight couples is important, because they’re not othered, they’re treated like the other romantic couples on the show.

Lmao, let’s just address it: I have heard many debates about who is topping and who is bottoming in this scene, using evidence like thigh placement etc. It’s not something I personally care about unless it’s relevant to characterization or story for whatever reason, but I don’t think people are bad for being curious or wanting to make sense of what they see on screen. Personally, I think Julie shot this scene precisely to sidestep the top/bottom discussion. This isn’t a linear sex scene, there are a bunch of edits and jumps, we only see them in closeups and not from wide shots across the room where there would be less debate over the specifics. So I can see your arguments but IDK, to me it’s a little like asking what’s in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction. It’s whatever you want it to be. (If you want to laugh at me or roll your eyes because OBVIOUSLY X topped and Y bottomed, go ahead, lol.)

(Also they were in this suite for hours, guys. And they’re horny teenagers in love who have been together only a week, and Even was likely having an increased sex drive which is a common symptom of mania. They did it more than once. Both sides could be right!)

But on that note, I love that Julie shot it this way. She focuses on their faces and their expressions, rather than the gymnastics of their bodies. Not only does it feel very intimate and emotional compared to a lot of movie and TV sex scenes that are all about the mechanics of thrusting rather than feelings, but it’s a respectful way to film a sex scene with two young actors, including a 17-year-old, who have to act out this scene together in a room full of crew members, to later be viewed by like everyone in the country (and all over the world as it turns out). The idea gives me hives, personally. Or maybe it was NBD to the actors, who knows. Another day at work!

Even’s voiceover (“How many Isaks and Evens do you think are lying like this right now?”) starts while the sex is still happening. This is one of the only scenes in Skam that is non-linear to this degree, I think? Another one is Eva and Jonas’ breakup. 

Lmao, that look Isak gives as he watches Even eat his burger. That’s the look of a man who is having the time of his life.

Remember when Henrik posted about filming this scene as a farewell to 2016 and mentioned that the burgers were amazing? Quality content, bless that dude. (I’m kind of curious to know if those burgers were like, just high-quality standard burgers with the usual fixings, or if they were artisan burgers with unconventional toppings.) (I definitely did not just spend a few minutes checking out the Radisson Blu Plaza website to see if the room service menu was available online.)

This is the point where the cringe starts, and it becomes hard to watch. I feel terrible for both Isak and Even. Like I think people acknowledge how awful this was for Isak since we’re with him every step in his confusion and heartbreak, but I keep coming back to how Even is going to feel about this night once the high wears off. And that’ll happen as he’s crashing into a depressive episode, making it worse.

It’s also where the ambiguities of Even’s behavior start to lose their, well, ambiguity. Previously he acted in ways that were maybe odd but still cute or within the realm of normal behavior, such as the kitchen scene or the conversation with the receptionist, but here this conversation really isn’t something you can file away as normal. It doesn’t make sense. For instance, Even starts talking about their wedding, and I mean, I firmly support Evak becoming husbands in the future, but it’s a little forward to present that event as a certainty when the two of you are still in high school and have been together a week, no? 

Isak thinks so, too, but he’s not fully weirded out right away, not really. He goes along with the wedding talk at first, because hey, he’s with his boyfriend in a fancy hotel suite and they banged and now they’re eating burgers and life is good. Sure, let’s talk about our wedding. It’s just silly, idealistic chatter. Maybe it’s even fun, like Isak is too young to get married but it’s nice thinking that he could get married to a guy in the future, now that he’s out and more comfortable in his sexuality. But it’s not serious or anything.

Again, the acting from both of them is excellent. Henrik really got to me here when I was watching it without subtitles - he gets goofier and it just feels off. Not just that he’s messing around, but that he doesn’t know he’s messing around. And of course Tarjei’s reactions to him over the course of this conversation are amazing, we see him slide gradually into knowing something is wrong.

I want to perish when I see Isak and Even looking at each other on that bed. Even cannot stop touching Isak. The tracing of his eyebrow, over and over! It’s almost like he wants to make sure Isak is real, or to preserve the memory of Isak solidly in his mind, because who knows how long Even can have him?

We cut from this conversation on the floor with the burgers, to them in bed, and it’s like Isak is recalling this talk in bed later, like there was something strange about it to him that he can’t get it out of his mind. He might be having a good time with Even but there’s a puzzle he needs to solve. But the timeline really isn’t that certain - it adds to the instability of this scene. You could possibly read the entire hotel clip as a series of moments that Isak is running in his mind later, trying to make sense of everything. Most Skam scenes are so firmly planted in the “real-time” aspect that the idea is to feel that the clips were happening at the moment of their release, which was evident if you watched the season in real time. But this clip? The one that’s got a set time frame, one that’s significant enough to recognize in the yellow title cards and the name of the clip itself on the website? The one that jumps around over a period of many hours? When I was watching it live, I was just freaking out about what happened to think much about the timeline. Watching it now, I can totally see this clip as a collection of Isak’s memories, maybe after he got home later that night and he couldn’t sleep. All a blur of love and chaos.

Even some of the cuts on the floor feel disjointed, or they aren’t smooth. Like Even goes from talking about the wedding to suddenly having a champagne glass in his hand.

These sound effects also make things uneasy and unstable. Not in an over-the-top-way, but enough to make you aware of them and how they’re intruding on what could be a cute scene.

There was also supposed to be the scene of them in the shower mixed in here. Just imagine that gorgeous image of them under the water together! And then imagine it with the creepy music over it, or cutting to it like we do to Isak staring at Even in bed with fear in his eyes.

Even says that they’ll dress as God and Julius Caesar for their wedding, so they can get married in the clothes they were wearing when they first kissed. It’s pretty sappy! But kind of cute, right? Again, just silly conversation, fun to relive the memory of that night.

It’s when Even starts to talk about showing up naked that the joke starts to go too far, get too serious, too weird. Have you ever been messing around and laughing with friends and then someone takes a funny idea and keeps going further with it, until it’s a little too intense and you’re like, all right, it’s done, let’s leave it? That’s what this is. Especially because Even is really getting into this. Isak can be like “lol Even” at first when Even starts talking about going everywhere naked - because that’s still part of the joke, right? Except Even keeps going, recapping the ending of Pretty Woman. And Isak doesn’t know Pretty Woman, so this all seems baffling, but Even expects Isak to get it. Because Even knows Pretty Woman and therefore Isak should know Pretty Woman, obviously Isak will keep up with him.

When Even says “Princess Vivian!” it’s kind of cute, but in this context it’s like he doesn’t realize how he sounds to himself. It’s like when you remember something funny and start laughing out loud, and the people around you are confused as to what’s so funny. 

They cut to Isak in bed after “Princess Vivian!”, looking dramatically less happy, more concerned, because this is the point where Even really loses Isak and the dread starts to sink in. We notably don’t see Even’s face like we did in the previous jump, because Even has locked us out at this point. He’s lost us, too.

Speaking of Pretty Woman, as I mentioned earlier, Even most likely got the idea for the suite from Pretty Woman in the first place. If you’ve seen the movie, Richard Gere’s character is on a business trip, and he pays Julia Roberts’ character to stay with him while he’s there, and most of the movie they’re staying in this luxury penthouse suite. He’s been romancing Isak this week with cues from that movie - making everything for Isak for breakfast, renting a suite, detailing his proposal plan that’s straight out of the movie’s ending. He is literally trying to capture a movie romance with Isak.

“The whole joke is that you think it’s a Romeo and Juliet reference but you don’t get that until you enter the balcony.” Isn’t that what’s happening here? We were so sure this love story was Romeo and Juliet, but now Even’s all about Pretty Woman. Romeo + Juliet, a tragedy, perhaps represents more of his depressive tendencies while the references to Pretty Woman, a comedy, spring up while he is manic. 

But speaking of the connection drawn between the two and how they both feature famous balcony scenes, the fandom had so many theories about how Isak was going to reunite with Even on a balcony in the next episode, like maybe he would climb up the stairs to Even’s apartment. People also suggested the stairs on Even’s loft bed, like maybe Isak would climb them to see with Even while he was depressed and couldn’t get out of bed.

The “naked in a tie” thing is also from a scene in Pretty Woman, although it’s not the ending. Even’s kind of jumbling a lot of the film’s moments together, making it more confusing even if you have seen the movie.

Again, amazing acting! Henrik keeps selling it; Even isn’t a caricature, just a heightened version of himself, still Even and not an offensive depiction of a craaaAAAaazy person. He never feels like he’s overplaying, he’s just taking it far enough, in a way that feels natural.

Tarjei’s facial expressions are excellent as piece by piece he realizes that something is wrong. Even has already lost Isak with him rambling, Isak is hanging by his fingernails trying to keep up. Especially when Even wants Isak to complete the quote, and Isak is just totally lost, but he offers the smallest, weakest smile. And Even is impatient and wants Isak to keep up, he thinks this is something Isak should know.

“I’ll save you right back.” Cool, I’m flinging myself into the sun right now.

They did save each other! Even is the catalyst for Isak coming out and becoming an authentic version of himself - as he tells Eva later, even if it doesn’t work out with Even, he’s so happy he met him for this reason - and Isak is able to save Even before he hurts himself in O Helga Natt, as well as pulling him out of some of his worst ideas about himself - Isak can’t “save” Even from his depression but he’s able to get through to him with the “minutt by minutt” approach, and it’s because of Isak that Even can break out of a stagnant relationship where he doesn’t feel he can stand on his own.

I’m not sure Even literally wants Isak to rescue him from his mental illness, or something like that, but I think he wants to be accepted by him. The part where he’s like “It’s one of my dreams!” - Even is fantasizing about another epic movie ending, except interestingly, he’s changed his tune from thinking a romance needs to end in death for it to be epic. Here it’s like, with Isak, he can see the light. But there’s also something really vulnerable about it, how he longs for that type of love and acceptance.

The way the camera lingers on Isak’s face at the end, as it sinks in, then he looks back to Even, breaks my heart. He’s probably drawing a slight connection between Even and his mom. Now it seems like Isak’s mom has a different mental illness than Even, but it’s possible Isak recognizes similar behavior, such as expecting Isak to know something that isn’t grounded in reality and doesn’t make sense. In any case, he recognizes that this isn’t Even just being weird, or love-drunk, or whatever.

And it doesn’t help that the freaky tense music starts at the end, right before we cut back to Isak and Even lying in bed. We hear the question from Even again: “How many Isaks and Evens are lying in bed like this, right now?”

Actually, that really makes the burgers scene like a flashback, because it’s asked first at the end of the sex scene, and then again here, and it makes what happens in the middle (sitting on the floor eating burgers) seem like it happened earlier, and those shots of Even tracing Isak’s eyebrow in bed and such are when Isak reflects on this conversation. (To clarify: sex -> burgers -> lying in bed -> Even touching Isak and Isak looking at him with some concern thinking about how off the wedding talk was -> Even asks, “How many Isaks and Evens are lying in bed like this right now?”)

I don’t know if I over-explained that or if the whole scene is really obvious, lol. I think no matter what, this scene is edited in a way that is supposed to be a little hazy in order to add to the unease.

Heh, I do notice that Even’s hand placement doesn’t match up with the shots focused on him versus the shots focused on Isak.

Isak looks like he’s about to fall asleep in this scene. I wonder why? 🤔

Isak seems so pleased to answer the question, though. Even has really considered Isak’s worldview regarding parallel universes, hasn’t he? And what a gorgeous, heart-stopping thing to say, of course, that Isak and Even are together in infinite universes. This motif is one of my favorite parts of S3. It’s lovely and romantic but also vulnerable, and it doesn’t feel like some generic platitude? Like plenty of romances in media will have the characters make grand, sweeping statements, but many times they’re just the usual dialogue, empty words. When Isak and Even talk about parallel universes, it’s not just a cute idea - it is a concept that ends up profoundly affecting them, telling us about their personalities, becoming a lifeline when it seems they can’t be together in this universe, and turning into a core idea for their relationship. It’s incredibly specific and it adds texture to the entire narrative, not just a scene or two.

The way Even says “In infinite time?” with the utterly love-struck look on his face KILLS me. He loves this idea, because he’s a romantic soul, but he’s also looking for reassurance, because deep down he has doubts that it all will be OK.

The way Even’s face changes between the two shots freaks me out. First he’s glowing with happiness, his eyes full of love, and then he’s just … blank. Like Henrik was able to turn off the light. He looks dead inside. It’s alarming how fast Even switched moods, it really is. And we didn’t even see the transformation in action, since we cut to Isak’s face between shots. Imagine how it looked to Isak to see the happiness drain from Even.

And then Even comes out with just this deeply depressing comment. The only way to have something for infinity is by losing it. It sounds strange but there’s a certain logic to it. When you lose something, it remains that way in your memory. Imagine if Even loses Isak here. He will always have this moment, where they’re together and full of love and happy, where everything is basically perfect. But if Even holds on to Isak, he must know that the truth will come out, and everything will be tarnished. That’s how I interpret his remark, anyway.

In any case, Isak realizes how terrifying this comment is, how upsetting it is to have Even talk about losing something. He sounds very fatalistic. Like loss is inevitable. As someone who has dealt with depression, this part hit hard. I think everyone is capable of these pessimistic ideas at times, but for people with depression, these terrible, lonely ideas can be deeply embedded in your psyche, to the point where thinking of them feels as natural as breathing. They become part of your core as a person and it’s hard to overwrite them.

 Isak tells Even not to say stuff like that because Isak is genuinely scared, and a little bit of Even comes back to himself. Just a little, though, a tiny bit of warmth. He gives a small smile and tells Isak he’s just kidding. Obviously he is not kidding, but he doesn’t want Isak to worry. This little smile is for Isak’s benefit.

Isak really isn’t buying it, but he’s tired and so his eyes close. Even touches his mouth, end me with that intimacy, JFC.

ARRRRGH THAT FUCKING MUSIC

I was a wreck watching this scene for the first time. I remember that Rogue One was released not long after this episode and I walked out out of the theater like, “yeah, the third act of that movie was suspenseful and all, but it had nothing on that scene of a guy taking a shower in the background while his boyfriend sleeps.”

For some reason I thought Even might try to jump out of the window??? Even though many hotel rooms do not allow you to open the windows wide enough to fit through, for good reason. Or I thought Even was going to hurt himself in some way. Him walking out naked was almost tame to what I had feared, but then I was like, “Phew, he just walked out naked .... HOLY SHIT HE WALKED OUT NAKED.”

The editing here is clearly similar to Noora’s blackout in S2.8, another traumatic scene that had people freaking out over what happened. The fact that the screen is just black for several seconds, to the point you might wonder if the video has frozen, and then cuts to the activity in the room, makes it so fractured and confusing.

This actually simulates Isak’s grogginess, perhaps? The blackouts are him drifting in and out of consciousness. You know how when you’re mostly asleep but vaguely aware of stuff happening around you? Especially because Even’s out of focus, it’s like Even’s doing stuff but Isak is too sleepy to really take in what. The sound and the movement are enough to rouse him, but not make him entirely alert until it’s too late.. 

The blackouts also make the timeline very distorted. For instance, how long was it between Even lying down for a second and him running around the suite again? Did Isak fully go back to sleep? This whole thing must have seemed like a dream.

That Isak is sleeping peacefully in the foreground while Even is messing around in the background, out of focus … it’s just so eerie. Not getting a clear glimpse of him makes it worse because you’re not sure what’s going on. And the thing is, he’s just taking a shower, it seems? Nothing that weird in itself. Except that he’s doing this while Isak is asleep. And because it’s late. And because the show has built up the tension and planted all kinds of questions that haven’t been answered, and by now you have realized something is happening with Even, so even an innocuous act like this puts you on edge.

The sound editing is very good. Even’s clanging around is loud and sharp, it’s jarring. He’s just walking around making noise, like … what the hell is he doing?

Isak voices our concerns, asking Even if he ever sleeps, as it should be apparent to us by now that Even’s sleep schedule is out of whack. Even manages to temporarily keep Isak’s question at bay with a kiss on the cheek and a cute comment about Isak looking hot. Isak makes a sleepy, content sound, and Even touches his face again and lies beside him. But only for a moment. The fact that he lies there looking at him but gets up so quickly and decisively is unnerving. It’s like he can’t lie there, that even with Isak lying there looking like a snack, there’s too much rustling under Even’s skin and he can’t stay still.

Remember the baby/Evy debate? When this clip aired, apparently the official Norwegian captions had Isak referring to Even as “Evy” while other people heard “baby.” Julie Andem herself had to show a snippet of the script to prove it was “baby.”

But Isak calling a boy his “baby”? Character development! Interesting how he just breaks out the terms of endearment so quickly. He just wants Even to lie down with him in this comfortable big bed and enjoy this time together.

Isak finally wakes up more thoroughly when Even says he’ll get McDonald’s, because obviously it is pretty damn late to be getting burgers. I don’t know how late McD’s is open in Norway but uhhhh, not that typical to just leave your naked boyfriend and grab snacks this late, especially when you’ve been gorging on the superior room service burgers.

And you know, generally you have clothes on.

This part shocked me on first watch and I still have trouble watching it now. I can make it through the burger conversation without peeking through my eyes, but I have to look away when Even walks out naked. I just feel SO BAD for him. I feel completely terrible for Even throughout these final episodes. It’s a humiliating thing to do, to go out in public naked, even if you can laugh about it later. And he left Isak alone, confused and scared, and ended up getting picked up by the cops. Of all the ways that Isak could have learned that Even was bipolar, there’s not much that could have been worse.

Plus it’s cold enough that they’re wearing scarves and coats. I mean, this did air in early December in Norway. And Even’s also potentially got wet hair from the shower. Very much not optimal conditions for nudity.

This is also apparently not a great part of Oslo? Or it’s an area that makes Isak concerned for Even in itself, he’s concerned that Even will get beat up in this part of town. 

Kudos to Henrik for doing this scene, though, because it’s about the most un-sexy nude scene you could do. Also props to Julie for keeping the moment short rather than making it exploitative, like we’re not here to gawk at the mentally ill person’s nude antics. We’re concerned that Even is in trouble. (I remember after this scene, the fandom’s reaction to the sex or Even’s bare ass was tiny compared to everyone having a collective meltdown over Isak and Even’s well-being.)

I think the fact that the glimpse of him walking out is so short adds to the effect, too. Did we just see what we thought we saw? Did Isak see what he thinks he did? Like you just see him lift his head and stare at the empty doorway in confusion. I’ve seen YouTube reactions to this part where the reactor is clearly like, “Wait, what??”

This scene is brilliant in putting you in Isak’s shoes. The fact that we don’t see Even actually leave the room naked, that there’s a pause as we wait for the slam of the door and then we realize exactly what happened, that this is really happening … that’s what it’s like for Isak. And the way Isak runs to the door, wrapped in the covers, looking out after Even and then taking a moment to process it all. Isak doesn’t know why Even just did that, he just know that everything has flipped upside down with the slam of a door.

Let’s appreciate that in all his confusion, though, that Isak has the foresight to grab Even’s clothes before he runs out looking for him.

Tarjei’s so good in this scene. Isak presses both buttons for the elevator and then again when they don’t come fast enough, because he’s panicking and every second that goes by means Even gets farther away. When the elevator is arriving, he gets RIGHT up to the door and stands there and waits for it, like the extra second he would have wasted standing farther back is too precious to lose.

One of the moments that makes my stomach churn is when Isak gets out in the lobby and he asks the receptionist where he (Even) went. There’s no need for Isak to explain what’s happening. No need to describe who he’s looking for. They know exactly who he means, meaning that yeah, this situation is real and it is bad. The hotel staff are gathered around, worried. They’re probably in shock. IDK, I imagine you see a lot of shit go down when you work in a hotel, but guests going naked through the lobby out into the cold is probably rare enough that it gets your attention. Who knows exactly what Even said or did when he was leaving, too?

But Isak just runs out, not wasting any time. You do have to hand it to this kid for handling this crisis in the moment probably as best as he could. He has one objective and that’s to find Even and keep him safe. 

I’ve often thought, from an AU perspective, what would have happened if Isak caught up to Even on the street or found him on his own. I think it might have been better for both of them even if the police arrived, since Isak would at least get to see Even again, and maybe not hear what Sonja says later. But maybe not? Maybe the situation would have been too much for Isak to handle and things would have been ever worse. It’s an interesting what-if scenario.

Isak knows it’s time to call Sonja. From Sonja’s perspective, she’s probably thinking that of course this is what happens when she’s not there to take control. That Isak is in way over his head and not equipped to deal with this. Even though she and Even are broken up, this has to be one of her worst fears, Even in danger. And that’s part of why it’s so easy to take out her feelings on Isak.

The fact that the streets are so empty as we follow Isak on his futile search makes it even bleaker. Especially that final image of Isak at a distance, small, looking around. The people passing by looking at him, noticing this kid carrying a bundle and looking distressed. If the streets are so empty, it should be easier to find Even since he’ll stand out, and be safe from any crowds, but that Even isn’t there makes you wonder where the hell he could be.

Poor Isak. Look at his huge sigh of relief when Sonja tells him that the police have Even so he’s safe. That was his only concern, making sure Even was okay. Questions can come afterwards.

Sonja, however, looks pissed, like she’s sizing up Isak and wondering how he can let this happen.

Confession: now I have to say, this scene with Sonja really surprised me the first time I saw it. Because I know there were a lot of people hating on her beforehand and suspecting the worst - she’s abusing Even, she’s stealing his medication, she’s a witch - but I figured she was probably just worried about him and trying her best. I thought she had good intentions, and that some of Even’s complaints about her were exaggerated, because from his perspective, she was the enemy. He was biased. And Sonja does have good intentions. But from this scene, it is clear that her POV of Even’s mental illness is very flawed, and that he is not wrong about her. 

I say this as a mentally ill person myself - I realized I had given too much credit to Sonja’s POV and not enough to Even’s. I had somewhat downplayed his complaints against her in my mind, because she had “good intentions.” Frankly, it was ableist of me, and as someone who’s gone through mental health issues, it was sobering. Especially because I loved Even’s character from the start and guessed that he was mentally ill early on - I felt like I should have known better, if that makes sense? Not downplayed his perspective. And I felt ashamed because I would hate for people to apply that perspective to me, were someone minimizing my complaints about a person because of my mental illness. It’s a lesson I’m glad I learned.

When Isak asks what happened, it’s like Sonja lets out all her anger. Theresa shows that moment really well. For this kid not know what the hell he’s doing, so Even got into trouble. For Isak ignoring her messages until it was too late, when she probably would have explained her perspective in a more measured way. For having to clean up this mess. For being cheated on and having her four-year relationship end because of this boy. 

I can sing Tarjei’s praises endlessly. When Sonja is tearing into Isak, he’s just stunned, he’s even nodding a little as if of course what she’s saying must be true.

This part where she says Even is not in love with Isak, it’s just a sick idea in his head, though? That’s fucked up and it’s hard to justify it as just anger. Because on some level, Sonja actually believes in this, that Even’s feelings are not real. And like, I can understand why she would think this more in light of S4, when we learn about the Mikael situation, and it’s possible to see why she assumes this is another repeat of that - that Even is manic and deciding he has feelings for a boy again. With Mikael he obviously made a move on him, but was rebuffed and got back with Sonja, so why can’t it be the same this time? Sure, she might be mostly in denial over their relationship ending, and this is a grasp to rationalize things will be okay in the end, but even if that’s the case ... she still said this. The idea went through her mind.

Also, I don’t want to demonize Sonja, but I do wonder if she would have reacted this way if Even had left her for another woman. I think she would have been angry, of course, and justifiably upset, but would she have called it a “sick idea in his head”? Would she have been so quick to assume he was manic and his feelings weren’t real if Isak were a girl, or did him being a boy make it more likely for her to think that - because of the similarities to the Mikael incident, or because she wasn’t sure Even wasn’t straight, or what? To be clear, I’m not saying Sonja is a raging homophobe who thinks men being together is gross. I mean, I like the idea of her knowing Even was pansexual and being supportive, and maybe she was! But it’s also possible she lumped Even’s attraction to men in with “manic things” rather than Even just not being straight. 

The flip side of that is that Even’s suicide attempt was connected to his feelings toward liking guys, and I would hope she would take that seriously. (This is why I want to know so much more about the Even/Sonja relationship, it’s incredibly interesting to me.) Whatever the case, Sonja definitely accepts Even’s feelings for Isak were real not long after this, so she reconsidered her opinion. 

The fact that she lumps in Even’s feelings for Isak with him memorizing the Quran in Arabic because at the time he thought that was a good idea … yikes. That’s really dismissive. And not a great glimpse into how she views Even as a person. (Although we now know that Even was memorizing the Quran because he felt shame over the Mikael incident, so double yikes. It feels low to bring in Even’s romantic relationship with a boy and compare it to an incident where he tried to cure himself of liking boys, as if they’re equally ludicrous.)

She’s also implying that Isak is making Even’s condition worse because they’ve been smoking, which is not fair. That’s Even’s fault if he’s smoking, it’s not Isak’s responsibility to keep him from doing so (especially when he doesn’t even know Even isn’t supposed to smoke).

Sonja asks him to stay away. I think that, despite Even’s warnings about Sonja’s POV, Isak takes her very seriously. After all, she’s the one who showed up and handled this awful situation. She’s the one who had the answers. She’s the one who has known Even for much longer than Isak has - she has a whole history with Even that Isak doesn’t know. So yeah, as Magnus points out, it is silly to listen to your boyfriend’s ex, but I completely get why Isak does.

The sirens in the background may or may not have to do with the police picking up Even, but they sure do contribute to the stress of the scene and represent Isak’s state of distress.

I wondered for a while why Sonja appears to knock into Isak, because even if she’s angry that seems a little harsh, lmao, but I realized that she’s probably grabbing Even’s clothes out of his arms.

After she leaves, Isak looks like he’s shedding a single tear but Tarjei is managing more than one, his face is just in shadow. Goddamn. I feel so bad for Isak. This amazing night ended in disaster, he’s been told that his wonderful new relationship that makes him happy and free is all fake.

I have so many questions about what happened after this from Even’s POV. Did his parents come and get him? How did he interact with Sonja?

Also, I’ve wondered what happened with the hotel, like Isak had to go back and get his things since he had his backpack there … and Sonja or someone must have gone to pick up Even’s things. (Imagine how awkward it would be to walk into the suite where your boyfriend was just sleeping with the guy he dumped you for. Though I guess she had more urgent things to worry about.)

I forgot exactly what happened but lmao other members of the production team getting angry at Julie for this scene. The fandom was distraught, I enjoy knowing that even the people making the damn show were upset.

WHO WANTS THAT PERFECT LOVE STORY ANYWAY, CLICHE, CLICHE, CLICHE

May I just say that this is the perfect song for the closing credits to just like, really twist the knife in your gut? I was already traumatized watching the clip; watching the full episode with the credits and THIS DAMN SONG OVER THEM broke me. NOT A FUCKING EXAGGERATION. Julie is a monster for using Beyoncé for evil like that. 

For real, just murdering us because we were head over heels for this “perfect love story” but of fucking course something had to come and take it away! Fuck off!!!!

Isak thought he was in a perfect love story and then lost it and was told it was never real! I mean, that’s fine! Who wants that!

who wants that hero love that saves the day ... anyway ... anyway

sob

Social Media and General Comments:

This episode is the game-changer for this season, the one where we finally get answers to all those offhand comments or moments, and where certain events finally make sense. It’s a roller coaster, with the euphoria, the anticipation, the swoop in your stomach as you drop. I love it.

And this was one of the BEST weeks for social media in Skam, that I experienced, anyway. It was an example of how this format can contribute so much to the storyline and string along audience emotions.

Eskild sent some texts to Isak after the end of episode 7, noting that Even’s shoes were in the flat. Isak must have been awake since Eskild notes that he leaves him on read, but understandably does not reply.

There was a gap from the kitchen scene to the next update, which was an IG pic of Even playing FIFA in Isak’s room around 9 Friday night. I remember everyone was freaking out Saturday and Sunday waiting for the next update - did Even spend the weekend with Isak? What happened next???? And well, it was smart to keep us hanging. I mean Isak and Even were clearly busy and it was like they had their own private weekend away from us nosy fans. Julie and Mari must have been laughing at our thirst for more details.

Also Even is wearing Isak’s shirt in the pic. That’s not quite a coming out statement, unless you’re overly acquainted with Isak’s wardrobe, but it’s a sign of Isak being ever slightly more comfortable with people thinking he’s dating a guy. He’s not hiding Even. In fact, if you take into account all the rumors flying at Nissen about him and Even, Isak’s really not a giving a fuck about them anymore. Anyone can see he associates with Even by looking at his Instagram. (He’s banging Even. Who gives a shit about anything else?)

The famous shower text was this week on Monday, in which Even says he can’t concentrate in class because he’s thinking about what Isak did in the shower that morning and he has a boner. And Isak says he’ll do that shower thing again after school. They arrange to meet at KB after classes end at 15:35 and if you were in the fandom, you know all our asses were on the Skam website hitting refresh at 15:35. Alas, no clip. Mari was fucking with us. But honestly, it’s the kind of gentle trolling I can appreciate.

This shower text is likely making up for the fact that we did not get the actual shower scene between Isak and Even that was written in the script. 

Kevin McHale, who played Artie on Glee, is a big Skam fan and giant Evak shipper, was once asked what he thought Isak did in the shower, only to reply with a series of salad emojis. I just think people should be aware of this. 🥗🥗🥗

Also, Isak uses a red heart emoji in this text? What a sap. And he’s so flirty and confident about his sexuality! He’s probably thrilled and happy to make plans to continue shower activities! 

Eskild snapped a pic of Isak and Even looking cute and sends it to the Kollektivet group chat. Linn seems oblivious and asks if Isak is gay now. I like to imagine that Isak and Even have been making out on every surface the last few days, well within her view, and she just hasn’t been paying attention. However, she and Noora agree that the boys look good.

Isak has a line here asking Eskild not to post it anywhere, because they’re not official or anything. Makes you think how damn great it would have been for him to hear Even introduce him as his boyfriend to the hotel receptionist. But also, lmao, Isak, you know Even is like 10 minutes away from putting a ring on it, right? Not official my ass.

It’s completely understandable that he doesn’t want it posted publicly, that is a pretty big step and we know he’s not comfortable with PDA. A pic of Even playing FIFA is one thing, a cuddle pic? Very big move. (But also, makes you wonder if Isak can’t help but be a little insecure and wonder if Even is going to bail on him again. I hope not! They seem very settled throughout this week. They can even joke about breaking up over Even’s musical taste and not have it be weird.)

The picture Eskild shares is from that string of cuddle pics that Mari gave up and posted during the last episode, so Eskild was like, having a whole-ass photo shoot.

On Wednesday, Even says he doesn’t like his own bed because he’s used to Isak’s, so he’s probably been sleeping at Isak’s since Friday night.

Isak is behind on studying, HMMM I WONDER WHY

Isak is confident enough to drop a link to the Mikael video, but also insecure enough to do it? Like there’s definitely an inquiry there in “Who is Mikael” that’s not casual, you know Isak wants to know if Mikael was Even’s ex or something. And Mikael is also no longer in the picture, even as a friend, so Isak has nothing to go on. Even kinda dodges the question by making a joke about how he’s the previous man of his life, then saying Isak is the only one. Swoooooon. Even, you charming fucker.

Except after S4, this seems way more like a dodge and Even’s occasional tendency to skirt hard questions with jokes or answers that aren’t really answers. But yeah, Mikael was not someone who wanted Even back. Isak is the only one, and the person who makes Even feel something he’s never felt before.

Even “casually” exits this potentially difficult conversation by saying he’s going to shower, and those are the magic words, these kids sure love getting clean! Isak doesn’t need anything else to tell Even to come back to him. SWOOOON. That Isak just gives up and tells Even he wants him? Goddamn.

The texts from Thursday are EXCELLENT in establishing tension. Especially because “This is Even” dropped first, and we were already on edge from his weird comments in that clip about Sonja and whatever was happening there with his odd reactions.

Even suddenly decides, after yesterday’s complaints that he no longer likes his own bed, that he will sleep in his own bed tonight. Why? He says it’s so Isak can study, but does it have to do with what happened earlier with Sonja and wanting to avoid the topic? Or does it has to do with his increasing mania and lack of need for sleep? Because when he says “sleep in his own bed” we know that little sleep will be happening.

He’s also saying that Isak should get a surprise if he does well on his test, so he was also planning to book the suite that night. He sends Isak lyrics from “Bliss” by John Legend ft. Teyana Taylor, which are about jet-setting away and being surprised with luxurious gifts, so a big hint about what he has in mind for Isak’s surprise.

I recommend listening to “Bliss,” by the way, it’ll give you Evak feels. 

Pure bliss Like you've got the key to my heart Simple as a touch and a kiss Never knew a feeling like this Pure bliss, pure bliss Nobody can tear us apart Baby it's as good as it gets (Kiss kiss kiss kiss) Loving you will never be hard This is pure bliss

This is how Even feels about Isak! He’s never felt this way before!

Let's run away Let's run away Our friends, say we're crazy But we can't listen baby They've never had it like this They don't know what it is

And it’s all about getting away! Even’s surprise for Isak is specifically so they can get away from everyone else, say, meddling ex-girlfriends who might want to share some sensitive information. Like does Even want to just get away from it all, or is there a part of him that thinks it’s coming to an end, and he wants to make their time together as memorable as possible?

I also think he’s trying to prove his love to Isak, trying to overcompensate, so if Sonja says something like Even’s feelings aren’t real, he can convince him otherwise. The lyrics say that Isak shouldn’t listen to Sonja, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

But Even’s mind is already racing. He texts Isak a little while later, asking if Isak liked the song, and when Isak is confused, he says that Isak’s not following. It’s as if in his mind Isak was definitely going to register his comment about jet-setting away and gifts from Tiffany as song lyrics and go look it up, or recognize them immediately. It’s not a totally absurd expectation, but it is like he’s already beginning to leave Isak behind, just like in the suite when Isak doesn’t know the Pretty Woman reference and Even expects him to know it.

Still! Isak “breaks up” with Even for joking that he doesn’t like hip-hop. THIS IS SO CUTE. IT ENDS WITH MUTUAL HEART EMOJIS. I can’t help but imagine Isak seeing that red heart and clutching his phone to his chest like in episode 5, unable to stop grinning.

Even sends yet another text at 1 am, with a Seinfeld meme. It’s surprisingly unsettling - it’s late at night, it’s very random, Even initially means to send something else but clicks it away which to me means that he’s distracted, there’s another heart emoji … if you suspect Even is manic by this point, this is a big sign. This is what I mean by using social media effectively in this episode. Like this should be a weird but innocuous text and instead it made people uneasy, because of the timing and the random content.

Let’s appreciate Even’s use of emojis when he’s meeting Isak at KB. An eggplant is pretty clear, but what does a dolphin mean? I guess I’m not emoji-savvy enough to understand?

With the hotel scene, Isak had some IG stories before the clip appeared, including a view from the suite window and a selfie of him and Even. If you were in the fandom then, you might remember that the fans managed to figure out they were going to a hotel (and which hotel) before the clip even dropped. (Also, Isak and Even are bundled up in their coats and hats and everything in the selfie, so they did not just immediately tear off their clothes when they entered the suite, lol.) This was one of the coolest things about watching in real time, the fandom’s detective prowess.

Isak’s text to Eskild after the hotel scene is one of my FAVORITE texts on the show. I would include it in my favorite moments of Skam, period.  Isak reaches out to Eskild, wanting to know if he’s home, and he doesn’t say in detail what happened, just that everything has gone to hell. And Eskild IMMEDIATELY drops what he’s doing to come home for Isak. This is so touching and beautiful, it’s the heart of Isak and Eskild’s relationship right there. There are no questions from Eskild about what happened, all Isak has to say is that something went wrong and Eskild just goes to him. And Isak reached out to Eskild - I mean, I guess he could be asking “Are you home?” because he wanted to know if Eskild had a guy over or something, but I think he just needed someone at that moment. Isak has been increasingly asking Eskild for his advice, he values Eskild’s input and presence.

And it’s telling that he thought of Eskild, like, Eskild is really family to him. I mean, Isak could have written to Joans, and I’m sure Jonas would have been amazing, but I think Isak needed kind of like .... more of an adult’s help, if you get me? You know how sometimes when something goes wrong, you want a hug from a parent, specifically? I think Isak needed that kind of reassurance. I don’t know exactly what happened between them prior to the opening scene in episode 9, but this act alone says it all about the closeness of that relationship. It is one of my favorite relationships in all of Skam. (Really, Isak has so many incredible relationships in this season, doesn’t he? Even, Eskild, Jonas and the boy squad, Sana...)

Thank you all for reading my rambles on Skam! I love hearing from you all, and I so appreciate the kind comments I’ve gotten. You guys are so sweet ❤️❤️❤️

[fairyroses]

please share the thoughts!

(For those not in the know, this is referring to my Thoughts about the way Nura’s name was dropped in the most recent SG episode.)

Okay, so I wrote out a ridiculously long and kinda confusing explanation the first time I tried to answer this, so I’m gonna try to Condense it this time. (Edit from future me, who just finished writing this whole long-ass meta: Sooo, condensing it Didn’t Really Work, and it’s obnoxiously long anyway. Oops. Oh well. At least it’s more coherent this time.) 

(general warning for people reading this post who aren’t rachel: uhhh, maybe don’t look below the cut if you’re a big Brainy/Nia shipper? there’s no Hate, but there is a lot of theorizing about why I don’t think the ship’s actually gonna sail the way most ppl are thinking it will, sooo if you don’t want to feel bummed out, then maybe don’t read this. cool? cool.) 

(also I fully acknowledge that all of this is Pure Speculation, aided by some ridiculously intense scrutiny of a tv show, and thus not an exact science, and completely likely to be wrong. but man, would I love to be right.)

So first, I’m just gonna talk about the existence of the namedrop in general. So, before that moment, we had no idea how important Nura would actually be to Nia’s story. The writers could’ve chosen to not even name her at all, and could’ve just left the reveal as something more general, like “Brainy knows something about Nia in the 31st century, but can’t say what because of Space-Time Continuum stuff.” But they didn’t - instead, they created a Very Specific secret that Brainy is now keeping from everyone. 

This is absolutely a deliberate choice made by the writers. They already have Nia as a Nura-like character. They didn’t have to namedrop the actual Nura if they didn’t want to. They didn’t have to create that specific problem (the problem being that Brainy apparently knows Nia’s descendent really well). But they did anyway.

Additionally, the fact that they didn’t have a follow-up scene later in the episode where Brainy explains who Nura is means that all of this WILL come back up eventually. They won’t just leave that thread hanging. So, an important question to ask now is: What Big Thing is gonna happen between Brainy and Nia that forces Brainy to finally spill the beans about who Nura is? 

My personal guess? Nia gets the wrong idea about their relationship, and either kisses Brainy or tries to kiss him, and he panics and blurts out that they can’t do that because he knows her descendent, so being with Nia either feels weird to him, or he’s worried about screwing up the timeline and potentially Marty McFly-ing Nura out of existence. Of course, in telling this to Nia, he’d have to explain who Nura is to both her and the audience.

(Wishful thinking? Maybe. Kind of a cruel bait-and-switch for the writers to pull on shippers? Yeah, I’d say so. But it’s not that different from what they did with Kara and Mon-El last season, and I actually think it’s a VERY plausible ending for Brainy/Nia, sooo…) 

The Reveal™ could happen any number of ways, though, and I realize that. This one just seems like the most CW-style one lmao.

Okay, now I’m gonna analyze the Actual Namedrop Scene, because I can’t stop myself from theorizing and Tinfoil-Hatting™ about Brainy and Nura’s potential relationship in the 31st century.

First, I wanna talk about how intimately familiar Brainy is with Nia’s powers, and how they work. 

He obviously knows these things because of how often he’s worked with Nura in the past - tbh, he and Nura probably discovered these techniques while working together to help her figure her powers out. So, Brainy doesn’t have to do any kind of trial-and-error process with Nia here, because he’s already gone through all that with Nura. This is his second go-around with all of this. 

The concept of Brainy and Nura as a Dream Interpreting Duo is further solidified by this line:

Without Nia even really asking him to, Brainy automatically assigns himself the role of her Personal Dream Interpreter, which again tells me that this is probably the exact kind of relationship that he has/had with Nura. He’s recreating his interactions with Nura without really realizing it (yet). 

Note his body language throughout this scene. It’s not clinical or distant, which would imply that his dynamic with Nura was an impersonal one driven by duty or scientific curiosity - rather, it’s very personal, and intimate, and even Soft in a way that we’ve never really seen Brainy behave with anyone before. 

(Brainy/Nia shippers are, of course, going to interpret this behavior as evidence for their own ship, but IMO it’s actually much stronger evidence towards a (former) Brainy/Nura romance, more than anything else.)

Whether or not there’s a romantic angle, though, Brainy and Nura are still clearly very close. I’d say that’s pretty undeniable at this point.

This is Brainy’s face right as he calls Nia by Nura’s name, btw:

(So frickin’ cute, oh my gooood. This is one of the biggest things that makes me question if his relationship with Nura might’ve been romantic at some point, because LOOK at this! Look at his FACE!) 

Aaaand this is his face once he realizes that he Fucked Up™:

It isn’t even an ‘oh shit!’ reaction. He doesn’t blink or look startled. He just immediately and completely walls himself off. Because that Softness that he accidentally showed here? That smile, the Sparkly Eyes? Those were his feelings about Nura, getting tangled up in his conversation with Nia. Those words that he said to Nia? Are ones that he’s undoubtably said to Nura before. 

That’s why the slip-up happened in the first place. He was talking to Nia, but due to the familiarity and intimacy of the moment, he was thinking about Nura. 

Now I’m gonna talk about Tropes. Because I LOVE tropes. And as soon as the namedrop happened the way it did - in the middle of an emotionally vulnerable moment - my mind instantly went to the Wrong Name Outburst trope:

(these screenshots are courtesy of TVTropes, obvs. highlights are courtesy of me.) 

So like, Brainy saying Nura’s name when he did isn’t as bad as, say, him blurting it out in the middle of sex (lmao can you imagine), but it’s still not a good sign for Brainy/Nia, as far as I’m concerned. It’s never a good sign when a dude calls his supposed Love Interest by the wrong name after knowing her for a while. It just isn’t. 

(It’s different if the Wrong Name Outburst had been a mistake from the first time they met - that’s a different version of the trope. Like, if Brainy had called Nia “Nura” outside of the pizzeria, then that’s an understandable case of Mistaken Identity. But to call her that when he already knows full-well who she is? Yikes lol, that’s a BIG romance no-no.)  

Anyway, speaking of the pizzeria, if you click on the “You Remind Me of X” trope link, you can then scroll down to find this section: 

The Flashback Echo mentioned here definitely applies to the pizzeria scene, right down to Brainy’s “Do I know you?” moment of startled recognition. If we’re following the logic of the trope, then it’s not a far stretch to assume that Brainy’s connection to Nura might’ve been romantic, most likely a “failed romance” (since I doubt Nura is dead). 

Of course, Nura could also just be a really good friend, and maybe that would be enough to trigger the same reaction from Brainy…but there’s no way of knowing for sure until he lets the audience in on his secret. I’m really, really curious about what explanation they’ll go with, though. Personally, I hope it’s romance. But maybe that’s just me.

And now, finally, an add-on (because I can’t figure out where else to put it). Why do I think that Nura would specifically be a former love interest for Brainy, if she’s going to be one at all? Well, for two reasons:

1) They already pulled a Surprise Wife/Girlfriend trope with Mon-El and Imra last season, and IMO that’s a unique enough story beat that they wouldn’t want to use it again with Brainy and Nura, lest they risk the show becoming weirdly repetitive. 

2) Revealing that Nura is Brainy’s Amicable Ex (meaning: they’re still good friends even though they’re not Together anymore) would be a good way to pay homage to the Brainy/Dream Girl relationship from the comics and give a definitive reason why Brainy/Nia can’t happen, while still leaving the door open for the writers to potentially explore…uhh, certain other ships next season. *COUGH* You know…potentially. 

Thus my assumption that, on the off chance that they DO make Brainy/Nura romantic, it’ll be something in the past, that’s now over and done with. 

(NOTE: The Brainy/Nura romance angle is really just a Pet Theory that I’ve grown particularly fond of over the past few days. Like…if I’m being Realistic, I think it’s much more likely that Brainy’s never been in a romantic relationship before in canon, given how little he seems to know about relationships and social cues in general. So, Nura will probably just be a close friend. But I think most of the stuff I talked about can still totally apply even with them just being close friends.)

Aaand…that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. 

P.S. Like I said at the beginning of this post, this is all just Pure Speculation and Tinfoil-Hatting and I’m aware of that. I mean really, who tf knows what’s actually going to happen on this show? Def not me lol. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

So please don’t come for me if you have a different opinion lakjsdfkjd 

[murasaki-murasame]

Episode 23 of :re continues to be a really solid adaptation, even if it’s of some very flawed material. And this final arc at least feels a bit less exhausting and overdone than it did in the manga, so that’s neat.

Anyway, detailed thoughts under the cut, and spoilers for the whole manga.

As I expected, this episode covers the first half of volume 16. Like, literally half of it. The volume is roughly 320 pages long, and this episode adapted the first 160 pages, lol. And as I also expected, it worked out just fine, pacing-wise. Barely anything actually got cut. A few scenes got made a bit more concise, and Takizawa didn’t watch Donato and Amon fight, but that’s about it.

At least in terms of the stuff specifically from this part of the manga alone. I think it’s worth noting that they bring Ayato back into the story in this episode, but they don’t really talk much about what he was up to, and it looks like they’re completely cutting out the detail of him bringing back some feral children that lived underground.

I think I like this change a fair bit, even though I can tell it’s gonna annoy a lot of people. I always really disliked how Ishida handled the entire plot point of Ayato finding that underground city and the corpse of the old dragon, so I can certainly live with how the anime is removing a lot of the focus on it. The time spent setting it up in the manga just made it all the more disappointing when absolutely nothing of value came of it, so at least in the anime it’s upfront about how much of a background detail it is.

On the topic of things I didn’t like from around this part of the manga, I’m vaguely disappointed that the anime kept the stuff with Eto being brought back at the last minute, but I can’t really blame them for just being faithful to the manga. I still think that the anime is at it’s best when it’s actively going against the execution of the manga, and this is something where I think they could have easily just cut it out. I have a feeling it’s also going to be something where anime-only people wind up understandably assuming that the manga must SURELY have done more with this plot point, and taken even the SLIGHTEST effort to actually explain why the fuck it’s happening, but yeah no lol. The way that Ishida brought her back out of absolutely nowhere and then almost immediately kills her off was so awfully handled that most of the fandom genuinely hates it and wishes it never happened. There’s a lot of things where I’m in the minority for disliking some parts of the writing, but trust me when I say that nearly everyone hates what Ishida did with Eto here. I honestly still don’t fully grasp what he was even trying to achieve with this, other than him trying to bring the Owl back for the final arc just to . . . make some last-minute parallels to the end of the first series? Who even knows.

That’s actually my only real complaint about this episode, though. Everything else was very solid and well-executed. They didn’t really add anything or flesh anything out beyond what happened in the manga, but they just adapted what happened in the manga in a really solid, satisfying enough way.

I remember disliking how the Donato-Amon and Yomo-Uta fights were handled in the manga, but I think that was mostly a pacing issue. The manga devoted several chapters exclusively to those fight scenes, which just felt unnecessarily drawn-out. It feels a fair bit more natural in the anime, partly because both of those fights are a bit more concise than they were originally, and partly because I think the anime cuts between them a bit more than the manga did, which makes it feel less like you’re following one fight for a weirdly long time. I’d have to reread this part of the manga to remind myself exactly how I feel about it, but I also think that the resolution between Yomo and Uta felt more satisfying and less underwhelming than it did originally.

Also, I can’t really remember if an anime-only person would know about Amon’s history with Donato by this point. I never got around to watching Root A, so I genuinely have no idea if that season talked about their backstory. I know that it hasn’t come up in the :re anime, but even in the :re manga there’s barely any references to Amon’s childhood. So maybe that whole scene was something that wouldn’t work at all for anime-only people, but I can’t tell.

I still have a lot of complicated feelings about Amon’s entire place in :re’s story. It ultimately just feels really unnecessary, like he was mostly brought back just so he could wind up dating Akira and have a happy ending. There’s not really much that the story actually does in :re to substantially develop him or explore his character. On it’s own his whole confrontation with Donato is very nice and bittersweet, and it’s good to see him acknowledging that he’s a part of the warped world he lives in, and that he can’t avoid taking responsibility for that, but overall it feels particularly odd to have his big final moment as a character be focused on his relationship with Donato, given how little screen-time that plot point gets, especially in :re. It feels more logical for the story to focus on how conflict with Kaneki, but that whole thing just gets kinda . . . brushed under the rug in a really unsatisfying way.

I’ll at least say that the disappointing aspects of how Amon is handled as a character are much less obnoxious and jarring as they were in the manga, if only just because the anime has been covering like two thirds of :re in twelve episodes. It’s more reasonable for Amon to not have THAT much focus or development in a 24-episode anime than it was for his moments to be so few and far between across 180 chapters of a manga that ran for like three years. It’s still not the most satisfying thing ever, but at least people watching the anime didn’t have to spend literal YEARS watching basically nothing happen with his character, lol.

Oh right, I just remembered that V exists, and that I guess they’re another part of the episode I disliked. I mean, they’re involved with the whole Eto thing, but my reasons for disliking them are entirely separate. They’re another whole plot point that I think Ishida handled terribly, and there’s not much the anime can do to improve that. They’ve always just been this really lame, cliche shadow organization with murky goals, and nothing much ever gets done with them. I can’t blame any anime-only people for thinking that they’re really boring and under-utilized and unexplored, but the manga doesn’t do much more with them. To be blunt, the fact that I completely forgot about them right after the episode ended kinda says everything you need to know about how badly they’re handled even though they’re kind of sort of the Big Bads [tm] of the entire series, lmao.

I said before that this episode didn’t necessarily add anything new to what was originally in the manga, but after going back through my copy of volume 16 [I donated my English TG manga collection to my local library last week but I still own the last three volumes of :re in Japanese], it looks like that short scene with Mutsuki getting protected by Urie and Akira was anime-original. Which is a bit surprising since it was a fairly minor scene that didn’t impact much. I really liked it though. It’s just a neat detail to show Mutsuki’s friends and colleagues protecting him, and there’s something really bittersweet about how it comes across like he was willing to accept his fate and let himself be killed by the fake Owl, and was surprised to find himself being protected. It helps really hammer in the character growth and reconciliation that’s been going on with him and those around him lately, and it just works really nicely. It continues to be really interesting to me that almost all of the most major changes/cuts/additions in the anime thus far relate to Mutsuki’s character, and in general improving upon how Ishida handled him originally. I really appreciate it, but I’ve already talked about that a lot so I don’t need to go back over it.

Getting to the final part of the episode, the whole scene with Kaneki confronting Furuta wasn’t substantially different to the manga in how it plays out, and what sort of a note the episode ends on, but it’s interesting that the anime is portraying him in a more serious and genuinely threatening light, whereas this bit from the manga really played up his joke-y attitude. I think I prefer it this way, but it’s not the biggest change ever. In general I really like the note this episode ended on. I think the fact that they cut out one or two instances of Kaneki cracking his fingers previously in :re helped make this moment feel more important and surprising, so that’s cool.

Now that we’re halfway into the final volume of the manga, that just leaves the final half of it to adapt in the final episode, which should be totally fine. There’s a lot of scenes that can go by REALLY fast in the anime. Especially the epilogue, since a huge chunk of that can probably just be handled as a montage while the ending theme or whatever plays, rather than how we had to slog through so many pages of so many pointless narrative exposition boxes in the manga. Some of the final scenes between Kaneki, Furuta, and then Rize also felt almost comically drawn out in the manga, which always felt a bit weird given how rushed the overall ending felt, and how tight of a schedule Ishida was working on. You could really tell that he tried and failed to get the ending extended by an additional three chapters.

We don’t know what the final episode will be called yet, but they’ll probably have that sorta info up in the next day or two. I’m kinda excited to see what they call it, since the final episode of :re s1 ditched the naming scheme of the rest of the episode names to give it something more unique. So it’ll be neat to see what they do for the final episode.

I’m of course gonna hold back on giving my final thoughts on the :re anime until it all ends in the next episode, but I think we’re close enough to the end that my feelings on it won’t really change much, so I just wanna reiterate that I genuinely really love it, in spite of it’s flaws. I would have preferred something more . . . ‘transformative’, if that makes sense, but as an adaptation that takes the existing story and just tells it in a better way, I think the anime works surprisingly well. This final season in particular has been a big step up from the manga.

All in all I just have a lot of affection for it and what it’s been trying to achieve [especially with how they’ve done so much to improve the endless list of issues with how badly Ishida handled Mutsuki as a character], and I don’t think that goodwill could be tarnished at this point with just one episode left. I’ve jokingly said before that even though there’s more objectively good options, this is probably one of my favourite anime of this year, but I think I genuinely stand by that. There’s been some REALLY great stuff this year, even in terms of just stuff I’ve fully watched [like Devilman Crybaby, Revue Starlight, Planet With, etc etc], but I just feel really strongly about the :re anime. Also there’s some recency bias going on, lol. It’s been so long since I watched Devilman Crybaby. This year was a goddamn decade long.

[inyournightmares97]

Masterlist

CEO!au Chen

You never imagined that you would spend your New Year’s Eve at the office party. You’d had a long and tiring week, and personally, you were fully prepared to go home and sleep through the New Year in your warm, comfortable bed.

Except the CEO had forced you to come.

Well, not really. You’d been sitting in Chen’s office earlier that afternoon, going over the recently amended marketing strategy with him. You’d reworked most of the distribution chains for the company’s products and you needed his approval before you could go ahead with anything.

Chen, of course, was a wonderful listener. He always had a welcoming smile on his face and nodded eagerly at everyhting you said. You could have been revealing the spoilers to the latest Star Wars movie, not explaining the profit percentages that you were negotiating with wholesale dealers in Busan. Except his secretary had walked in and informed him that he had an appointment with an important client.

“I’m so sorry,” Chen apologized to you kindly. You found your face flushing. He was the first boss you’d ever had who valued your opinion and genuinely seemed sorry when he didn’t have time for you.

“That’s all right, sir, you should meet your client,” you reassured him.

Chen gave you a cheerful smile. “You’ll be at the office party tonight, won’t you? You can finish telling me about it then. I’ll grant you the approval right after the New Year.”

Which is why you had to squeeze into a formal dress and turn up to the office’s lavish New Year’s party, when you’d rather have been in front of your cozy television with a glass of wine.

But no. You were watching Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol from Sales down tequila shots like miniature yogurt cups while everyone cheered them on.

You had barely seen Chen all night. He’d turned up rather late, dressed in one of his usual suits that made even his slim build look extremely attractive. The only thing that stopped him from looking like a supermodel for Hugo Boss was the mildly ugly festive tie that he was wearing. It was splashed with little colorful fireworks and looked like a 3-year old had painted it.

Not that Chen had a three-year old. He was a perfectly single, eligible bachelor, as the magazines on the stand near your apartment reminded you regularly. It was almost as if the media was afraid that people would forget Kim Jongdae, the CEO of EXO Enterprises was single. Not surprisingly , you’d never seen a single article about how well he treated his employees, or his fantastic managerial skills.

Not that you ever read those magazines.

Well, you did buy one. Once. Only because it had a huge Chen on the front cover wearing a white button-down that was just tantalizingly transluscent enough to reveal the outline of his abs. But looking at it made you flustered so you buried it under a pile of cookbooks and refused to acknowledge it’s existence.

But Chen with his designer suit and ugly tie was completely unavailable to you. In all sense of the word, because you couldn’t even get near enough to him to discuss your marketing proposal. There were just too many people crowding around him, trying to use the informal atmosphere at the party to draw his attention towards a new grant or to listen to how the quarterly goals had been achieved.

So much for that.

You picked up a passing glass of wine; something that you’d been avoiding because you didn’t want to ruin your neatly applied lipstick. But the night was nearly coming to an end and you were miserable. You watched some of the managers coax Chen into taking more drinks and try to talk to him about tbeir yearly bonus.

Snakes.

“Hey!! Is anyone sober? We need a driver here!” called out the CFO. You sat up and made eye contact with Xiumin, who had been the one who asked. Yes! Here was your ticket out of this place. You could leave without seeming rude and even save on cab fare! Ka-ching!

“I’m sober!” you called out, hurriedly putting away the wine glass. You’d barely taken two sips anyway. “I can drive anyone who wants to go home.”

“Great,” Xiumin came over to you and handed you a fancy-looking car key. “You sure you don’t mind driving Chen home? He always gets tired at these parties and we can’t have him falling asleep in the lounge again.”

You blinked. “Uh…”

“Chen!! Come here. Your favorite employee is going to drive you home. Don’t give her a hard time, all right?” Xiumin insisted, as he helped a tipsy Chen over to the elevator. Chen only grinned a little stupidly and waved a hand at you in an adorable manner.

“Hi,” he greeted you cutely.

You flushed deeply. “Uh, are you all right, sir-”

“He’s fine, he just needs to be put to bed. You can drive yourself home in his car afterwards. We can get someone to pick it up tomorrow. Don’t give her a hard time, okay, Chen?”

Chen only smiled happily, getting into the elevator along with you. He leaned a little heavily against the wall and gave you another child-like smile. It was slightly amusing to see your usually cool-and-composed CEO like this, but you only found him adorable.

“Do you like my tie?” he asked you suddenly.

You blinked. “Uh, your tie, sir?”

Chen nodded and smiled, his eyes a little droopy but he opened them wide. He lifted a hand to clumsily pull at his tie. “It’s pretty, right? I like colorful ties. Xiumin says it’s ugly. Is it ugly?”

“No, it’s… very pretty.”

He snapped his fingers in your direction, satisfied smile on his face. “See? I always knew you had good taste. You’re a smart one. Your marketing proposal was great too. You should go ahead with that. You should go ahead with everything!!”

You flushed as the elevator dinged open. Chen stumbled out and began to walk towards his car and you followed him nervously.

“Thank you, sir.”

“You should have been a shittier employee,” he mused to himself as he coolly sat in the passenger’s seat. You hurried into the drivers seat and watched as he fumbled with the seatbelt. He had a small pout on his face. “If you were a shittier employee, I could have just fired you. But I can’t. You’re too important to the company.”

You were alarmed. “Why would you want to fire me?”

Chen glanced at you and gave you a small pout. “Because you’re too pretty. I can’t work around you.”

You stared at Chen. He was drunk; did he even know who he was speaking to? Either way, your heartbeat was thudding and this conversation didn’t seem like something you should be having with your CEO. You started the car and quickly pulled out of the basement.

He sighed happily and sank back into his seat. “Are we going to my house?” he wondered out loud.

You nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“You’re much nicer to look at than my usual driver. He’s bald and kind of scary-looking. I’d be terrified of him if he didn’t work for me.”

You had seen that driver, and you had to agree.

“Is he on vacation because of the holiday season?” you asked lightly.

Chen frowned and nodded. “He wanted to spend the New Year with his wife. Who am I to say no? Just because I’m miserable and lonely doesn’t mean he shouldn’t see his family. Isn’t that why I came to this stupid company party? Because I’m lonely?”

You bit your lip. “You’re a very eligible person, sir, I’m sure you’ll find-”

Chen scoffed. “Eligible. I hate that word. It means you have all the necessary qualifications, but you don’t have the post. Isn’t that sad? Wouldn’t you rather just not be eligible for it anyway?”

You had no idea what he was rambling about.

“Uhh…”

“How would you like it if I told you that you were eligible to be my girlfriend? No, no, see, I’m not asking you to be. That’s not the point. I’m just saying you’re eligible. You get it?”

You smiled at his drunken attempt to explain himself. “Sir, maybe you should take a nap while we get to your place.”

He hummed and closed his eyes. “Okay.”

You let out a shaky breath and focused your attention on the driving. Hopefully you could get this drunken man back home safely and not get fired. But Chen looked adorable as he curled up in the passenger’s seat. You glanced at him to see that he was peeking at you with one eye open.

“You’re not, though,” he told you quietly.

“I’m not what, sir?”

“Eligible to be my girlfriend.” You barely heard the next words that came out of his mouth because they were slurrered and muffled. “You’re not just eligible, you’re perfect.”

X-X-X-X-X-X

A/N: Happy New Year, everyone! Sorry this took so long, I’m having a crazy week with a load of extended family over. Hope you like it, @noona-clock

This is probably the fluffiest piece I’ve ever written. Lol. I’m working on the other requests soon.