#i go to the office two (2) days in a row and i cant wait to work from home for the rest of the week thank you

[disgustinggf]

sorry boss i can't come to work today i'm down with the tired sleepy

[magic-missle-blog]

Ghost division 2 – The belly of the beast

2nd story in what will hopefully be a series. Roughly 6k words. Hope you enjoy

:readmore:

Four missiles streaked through the darkness of space from the canadation destroyer as it smashed through the human battle group.

The warship TDF Glasgow rocked as a missile impacted the hull. Point defence had taken out three others but the fourth slammed into the starboard side.

“Damage report!” the captain shouted as he swivelled his command chair to face the tactical officer.

“The hull plating is scorched and buckled, but no internal damage. We were lucky.” The tactical officer replied, shouting to be heard over the various alarms and beeps in the small bridge.

“We cant rely on luck. If we get hit again its your head!” The captain growled. His hair was cut close to his scalp and a sheen of sweat reflected in the bright yellow light on his dark skin.

Tactical officer Rotchford nodded. Her brow furrowed as she quickly typed into her console. “don’t worry I’m on it, I’ve analysed the firing pattern and I can probably take out most of the missiles, its those fucking fighters and energy weapons I cant do a thing about.”

Just as she finished speaking a swarm of small locust shaped fighters buzzed passed the ship, pelting the armour with energy weapons.

Turrets tracked the fighters, spitting hypersonic tungsten shells. One of the Canidation fighters exploded, the rest of the group took evasive action and continued on the attack run through the human fleet.

The ship rocked again and various alarms clamoured for attention. Lights on the bridge flickered.

Captain Conroy nodded and straightened his uniform. He brought up a tactical display on the console built into his chair.

Five Canidation warships had engaged the fleet of seven Terran defence force destroyers and the humans were loosing badly. The Canidations had the firepower and faster ships. Fighters swarmed over the fleet firing kinetic weapons and lasers, some with great effect.

He watched as another of the fleet exploded. That was the second ship they had lost. The battle had been raging for what felt like hours but in reality it was only 30 minutes. The Canidations had dropped out of hyperspace in this remote system to ambush a Human supply run. The freighters had escaped unharmed but the escort fleet couldn’t leave, not without leaving this Canidation battle group free reign to attack other convoys.

“Shit. That was the Newcastle!” the first officer said “Fleet captain Broadie…he was a good man”

The computer screamed out a proximity warning as another salvo of missiles streaked towards them, but true to her word the tactical officers new point defence programme took them all out. She returned fire with the main cannon as the destroyer elegantly swung around, scoring a direct hit to the Canidations engines. The insectoid ship vented atmosphere and appeared to lose power as running lights flickered out and the ship drifted

The other enemy ships moved towards the remaining fleet.

“Scan that ship, is it dead?” Conroy commanded the science officer as the warship rocked under more impacts

“yeah it appears… Fuck” the science officer said as his console went dark and the lights cut out.

A few moments later the ships emergency power kicked in and the lights came back on, but dull red colour. His console lit up. “ yeah its dead. I think. Scans are all over the place.”

Conroy nodded, as the most senior officer left in the tattered fleet he assumed command.. “signal the fleet. Lets get the fuck out of here...but slowly, I want to draw them away from that damaged ship.” He plotted a course that would take them deep into the Oort cloud of this system.

The remaining ships of the Terran defence force broke off the engagement and retreated. Caught by surprise at the sudden change in tactics, The Canidations stopped dead, recalled the fighters then followed, slowly gaining ground on the slower terran warships.

Glancing at his command console captain Conroy opened fleet wide comms. Signalling the other commanders he said “Listen up people. Once we are in that cloud drop sensor decoys try to buy me some time . I’m going to double back and capture that ship.”

The crew looked at him in astonishment

“Damn” said the first officer. “And I thought today was going to be a quiet day.”

************************************

The war against the Canidations had been raging for 3 months, and the Terran empire was losing.

The Canidations ships were more advanced, and they had the numbers. The only saving grace is that the Canidations were fighting two other larger empires. Humanity, as a relatively new race to the galactic stage, hadn’t been seen as a concern. Almost an afterthought.

No one knew why the war started. Canidations were a reclusive species. They had no trade with the wider galactic community, no embassies, no contact at all. No one really even knew if “Canidation” was their species name. They stayed in their home systems, A group of a dozen or so stars a few light years around the Canadathon, their home world.

A decade ago the Canidations has blasted out of their home system with an over powering military force and attacked a neighbouring world without warning. Everything was a viable target to them and they didn’t take prisoners…or at least they didn’t keep them alive for long.

For ten long years they attacked and destroyed any neighbouring species, expanding their empire. The first races, unused to galactic warfare on such a scale had fallen quickly. Other species had tried to build up their own military force but simply didn’t have the infrastructure in place and couldn’t come close to the Canidations speed of production. It seemed like for every Canidation ship that fell two more would take its place.

The Canidations were an insectoid race, they looked like an unholy amalgamation of a spiders body with a praying mantis torso, like an insect centaur. They didn’t seem to capture any world they won, they destroyed it. Left it a lifeless husk, took any easily accessible resources then moved on like locusts. Maybe they would be back to terraform it later, maybe not. No one knew.

The destruction on such a scale seemed senseless, and completely alien. Not even the best human generals, phycologists or philosophers could come up with a reason for this carnage.

What was known was they had a lot of ships. More than every other military in this region of space combined. They had been building up for decades and it seemed like now was the time to unleash their might.

******************************

The Glasgow had ducked behind a dwarf planet in the Oort cloud and waiting while the remaining fleet had drawn the Canidations away, then used a risky in system jump to get back quickly to the battlefield. They had scanned for survivors of the destroyed Terran ships but unfortunately found plenty of debris but no life signs.

TDF Glasgow slowly drew up alongside the crippled Canidation vessel, comms jammers at full power blocking any communication from the hulk. It had been few hours since the shot had crippled the Bug ship, but it was still drifting without any main power, its engines dark and cooling.

It looked like reserve power had kicked in and there was several Canidations on the main hull close to the breach in what looked like dark space suits, although it could have been their flesh. Conroy didn’t know enough about the species to tell. It was obvious the Canidations were trying to repair the damage.

The insectoid ship was large, at least half again as big as the Glasgow and followed an unorthodox design. It was nothing like the sleek Terran ships, whose lines were reminiscent of the war planes that fought in earth’s skies in the 20th century. Human ships were long and sleek, with swept back retractable wings protruding from the mid section to allow atmosphere flight when fully extended. Canidation was bulky, and looked like a flattened pinecone and close range scans showed it be highly modular.

The bridge appeared to be at on top of the bulky front section. Conroy guessed below this would be weapons, crew quarters and the like. Engineering and the ships drive core, and sub light engines must be located in the tapering end. Cannons clustered around the front with turrets in two rows along the top and bottom of the ship.

Conroy assumed there would be about 60 or so crew on board. Terran destroyers had a crew of 30 plus 10 marines. Not good odds Conroy thought.

“Easy to build, quick to swap different sections out if needed” Science officer McCallum said as he looked over the data.

Conroy nodded to Commander Paulson, the first office. “Pauly, get a boarding party ready. Find any intel you can get your hands on but don’t take any stupid risks. Focus on engineering, medical, ship deployments, shit we can find to kill these things.” Looking at McCallum “what do they need?”

McCallum brought up all the information he had on Canidations, which wasn’t a lot.

“Scans show gravity and life support is still active and the ship has atmosphere, although I use the term loosely. Their air is made up of 30% oxygen, 15% Co2, 10% Hydrogen sulphide, the rest is nitrogen, water vapour and trace gasses. Average temperature is roughly 30 degrees Celsius and humidity is close to 70%. Gravity is low, roughly 0.6G. So basically your walking into a hot sweaty hellhole that’ll smell like Satan’s ass. Enjoy” he finished with a laugh.

Paulson looked at the captain “Gee thanks Boss, you give me all the best jobs. Breathing units all round then.” He saluted as he left the bridge.

“Mac…what killed this ship? Did we get a lucky shot?”

McCallum looked over his reading for a few moments. “Yeah, very lucky. Looks like there is a weakness around the main engine core on this ship. Plasma exhaust has weakened the hull armour in a small area right above the main power linkage, its little better than paper. Must be a design flaw…if that shot had hit even a few meters on either side it wouldn’t have made a dent.”

Rotchford laughed. “luck had nothing to do with it. It’s pure skill.”

She grinned

Conroy rolled his eyes.

“Yeah yeah if you say so” he said grinning. Conroy didn’t mind a bit of banter with the bridge crew. He felt it build camaraderie and they all worked better as a result.

Turning to Macallum he said

“Deep scan this bitch, I see what else you can find, anything that’ll give us an edge.”

From over the other side of the bridge the tactical offer said “Captain, I think I’ve found something too. The missiles on the ship are armed.”

Conroy looked over “So?”

Rotchford brushing her brown bangs that had escaped from the severe bun on her head said “Our missiles auto arm a second after launch to prevent any accidents, these appear to pre arm before launch, Probably as soon as they find a hostile ship. Once direct hit could detonate the entire missile battery. The armour is thick but the launch tubes are vulnerable . “

“Comms” Conroy said excitedly “Tight beam the rest of the fleet and let them know what we’ve found…might give them an edge.”

Turning back to tactical

“Why would they do that?”

Rotchford shrugged. “not sure. It does mean the missiles can be fired much closer then we can shoot. Out missiles travel so fast that by the time they arm they’re a couple of hundred kilometres away, makes them useless for close engagements. By pre-arming them they get around that problem. Makes it almost impossible to shoot them down when the bugs get in close.”

Minutes passed slowly. Soon the boarding party was on board a small ship to ship shuttle and on route to dock with the crippled ship.

The shuttle did a quick fly over the damaged section and fired small arms at the Canidations working on the damaged hull, Killing the repair team. The aliens magnetic grips kept the bodies stuck to the hull like bugs splattered by a windscreen.

McCallum looked up “I’ve found something else captain, it wont help us now but I think we can take advantage of it.”

He put his display on the main screen, All eyes turned to it.

“I thought about using some kind of plasma weapon to weaken the armour of the whole ship, and that’ll probably work, we don’t use plasma tech, but I’m sure the weapons experts back home can build something.” He took a breath “Anyway, that got me thinking, Plasma is basically really hot ionized gas. Its expelled as exhausts right away as too much heat inside the ship it bad. As you know its almost impossible to loose heat in space, so we use active cooling systems to…”

Conroy interrupted before McCallum could go into a lecture on the finer points of starship heat management. “Get to the point”

Mccallum looked sheepish “Sorry sir, anyway, the Canidations seem to use radiator panels, they’re well armoured but vulnerable to excessive heat. A focussed laser beam could overload them. If they cant loose heat they’ll cook inside the ships.”

“Well done Mac, get everything we’ve found so far and bundle the data ready for transmission back to HQ”

Minutes dragged as Mccallum compiled the data.

Everyone was on eggshells, watching the boarding shuttle latch on to the Canidation hull and begin cutting through. Tactical constantly scanning for any Canidation ships that might be inbound. Conroy wondered how the rest of the fleet was fairing. The TDF ships were more manoeuvrable than the larger Canidation warships, so as long as they kept in a dense part of the Oort cloud, dodging comets and dwarf planets then the TDF ships should have an advantage.

*****************************

Inside the shuttle the atmosphere was tense. Paulson looked over the assembled combat team. All had breathing units over their lower faces. The units would filter out the harmful gasses and reduce the oxygen pressure to something breathable, but as they weren’t full space suits or fully sealed Paulson knew the stench would get through, he grinned inwardly he hadn’t told the team what the Canidation air was like, he wanted to see the reactions.

The ten member boarding team all had dark grey combat armour, and each carried a small side arm and a combat knife. Eight also carried an assault rifle with enough ammo to take on a small army, the other two combat engineers carried various tools and computer equipment. Their mission was to hack into any systems they could find and mine it for data.

The shuttle bumped into the hull and latched on. A magnetic tube made an air tight seal around the hatch. It opened to show a sold hull. The engineers immediately started cutting to gain access. It was slow going. Armour that can withstand heavy ship weapons wont easily fail to small plasma torches.

Sargent Waltham stepped up next to Paulson. “We’re ready to go” She said coolly.

Paulson nodded. “Get in and secure the area. Set up fire lines kill anything that’s got more than two legs.” He said to Waltham.

She was tall, blonde, very pretty in hard way. People, especially men, tended to underestimate her due to her looks, thinking she was just a made up barbie doll. Paulson had thought the same thing once, until she kicked his ass in hand to hand training. The first round he went easy on her and he was flat on his back in 5 seconds. The second round he went all out, and to his credit, he managed to last a full 7 seconds before she had him pined, face pressed against the floor and his left arm twisted up his back. Waltham, like all the other,s had earned her place in the combat team, but unlike the men she had to continually prove she deserved to be there. This constant striving for perfection had made her one of the best solders Paulson had ever worked with.

The thick hull armour fell inwards with a heavy thunk. The sound echoed around the shuttle. The stench of rotten eggs filler the small enclosed space and everyone wrinkled their noses.

“For fucks sake… is this ship full of farts?” Jones, the lead combat engineer said.

Paulson grinned. “Ok move out. Slow and steady, I don’t want any fuck ups.”

The team moved slowly into the alien vessel. The interior was dark, smelly and hot, lighting was a deep red that cast odd shadows. Paulson didn’t know if this was normal or if it was due to low power.

Waltham took her place first in line as the engineers cleared the hull and opened a portal to the interior of the ship. She directed one of her team , Ramerez, a young marine on his first away mission , hang back and guard the shuttle just encase they needed to make a quick exit.

Ramerez took position just inside the the shuttle door, he pulled a couple of boxes containing emergency supplies across the entrance and dug in.

The rest of the team followed her lead, with Paulson acting as rear guard, scanning the corridor behind him with a quick practiced eye.

One of the marines whispered in a low voice “damn, this is weird.”

“what is? Looks like a normal ship corridor to me” Paulson said

“sir...that’s what I mean. I expected...well dirt..or tunnels like that old movie ‘Aliens’. You know, the one where the dildo bursts out of some guys chest and all these Marines hunt it down? I mean they’re bugs for Christ’s sake..but this just looks normal.”

Paulson shook his head.“Lay off the old horror flicks. Keep it together”.

Looking at a handheld scanner Jones said “looks like there might be a room down the corridor to the right, I’m reading power spikes, it could be a place I can hack into there systems.”

The team crept inward, the low gravity giving them a bounce to their steps. They were searching for a room with a computer access, but all the could see were long featureless corridors. The came to a junction and as they passed a blast of plasma energy almost took Walthams head off. She Pulled back just in time, lightning quick reflexes saving her life. As it was the plasma shot singed her combat helmet.

Risking another blast, Waltham popped her head around then quickly pulled it back. Three Canidations waited around the corner, plasma rifles at the ready for another shot.

Pulling a flashbang from her belt she leaned out and expertly tossed he weapon into the centre of the group, a second later a loud BANG and a FLASH of bright light lit up the corridor. She could hear a smattering of legs as the Canidations fell back. Her and two of her team ran around keeping low and opened fire. The sound of the assault rifles sounded odd in the dense air. the Canidations tried to return fire but there shots went wide, scorching the metal bulkheads, obviously still blinded by the light. The skirmish was over quickly.

The team crept up slowly to the dead aliens. One in the was headless. Its body twitched, a dark yellow fluid pumping from its neck. The other two were still. Red faceted eyes that took up most of the head were dull and lifeless. Mandibles closed tighter than a vice.

Bullets had ripped the skinny top part of one in half, and the others larger thorax between the spiders-like legs was riddled and leaking the same yellow fluid.

The team looked at the corpses, they were…creepy. They unnerved the humans just looking at them. Jones knelt down and pointed something out. “Look, this one has a couple of cybernetic legs. That one has a cybernetic head…That’s so weird. Gives me the creeps.”

Paulson looked. “Why weird?”

“Think of what this means. They use medical tech to repair wounds. Replace missing limbs like we do. You don’t think of bugs caring for individuals I guess. I assumed they would be like a hive, like ants or termites just mindless soldier’s, disposable and replaceable. Maybe they’re more than that.“

One of the other marines, Patel a tall solid build man with a cold gaze said in a whisper “They’re like spiders, I fucking hate spiders. Normal spiders are bad enough but these are super sized fuckers with guns. “

He shivered as a cold chill ran down his spine. Taking one last place at the dead Canadation he walked slowly past, rifle ready for another attack.

As the team moved on one of the corpses stood up with a clatter. It swiped at a passing trooper with its upper limbs, razor sharp claws sliced across his face and chest, cutting flesh and the scoring deep cuts on his combat armour. He fell back shocked. The headless alien thrashed about, seemingly attracted to the noise the shocked humans made. It tried to reach for another one but a burst of fire from Waltham’s rifle tore through its thorax . the alien twitched again then fell back. She crept up, gun ready and kicked the corpse. No reaction. It was truly dead.

Patel looked a mess, his face had been cut to the bone, but he’d live. Two others helped bandage him up.

“fucking fuckitty fucking spiders! “ he shouted and kicked the corpse, holding his wounded face and blood soaked bandages.

“get back to the shuttle” Waltham commanded him.

He nodded, his face screwed up in pain, The bandages soaking with blood. He got to his feet and headed back the way he came.

Paulson looked at jones “What the fuck?”

Jones shrugged “I’m no medical expert, but I guess a head shot wont kill them. Maybe they keep their brains in there ass or something, I guess the head is just for eating and seeing.” Pointing to the Canidation with the cybernetic head “Maybe loosing the head for them is just like loosing an eye for us? Or maybe they’re like cockroaches. We should drag these things back to the shuttle. Medical back at HQ would have a field day.”

Paulson nodded “team, forget headshots, aim for the centre mass.” He directed a couple of team member to take the most intact body back to the shuttle “Keep it under guard…just in case”

The diminished team made there way deeper into the ship. Paulson was aware of the time he was taking, he knew The Glasgow couldn’t wait forever, but he wanted more than a few dead bugs. Soon they came across an empty room. The door was closed but a kick and a shove and it slid back into the wall. The team entered. Looking around, there was a lot of electronics that Paulson couldn’t guess the function off. Jones quickly set up his scanner. Pulling open a panel he found circuit boards. After quick scan he attached a lead from his scanner to one of the chips.

“If i can hack this, this should give me access” he worked quickly The rest of the team took up positions around the door. Paulson moved to the back of the room and signalled Waltham.

“thoughts? He said after she walked over

Waltham shrugged “they don’t seem too tough. Decent weapons though.“ she pointed to the plasma rifle she’d captured.

“hows things between you two?” he nodded to Jones

Relationships were against regulations but as long as it was discreet no one really minded. It could be lonely in deep space.

Waltham smiled. “he’s sweet, like a puppy. Always eager to please. But utterly fearless too. He could be a great soilder, but likes his gizmos too much.”

“Yeah jones is a good one.” Paulson agreed. He’s been friends with jones for years. They grew up in the same town went to the same high school, and went through training together.

Minutes ticked by. Jones had attached a large data cube to his scanner. He came over to the pair while the data downloaded “. I can copy the full ships hard drive. Shouldn’t take long. There’s not a lot of data, mainly seems to be the ships opperating system. Seems pretty basic. I did find something interesting though, I found ship schematic. We’re not far from a path to fire control. Its down the end of that corridor out there. “

Paulson thought for a second. “no, we have enough we need to get back”

Just as he said that his communicator beeped. It was the shuttle “Sir, get back here we need to go! A Canidation warship is on approach, ETA 7 minutes!”

“Ok people pack your shit up, we need to get out of here! Double time!”

The team grabbed there gear and quickly made there way back into the corridor. Several canidations ran down the steel hallway, the hack had triggered some kind of security protocol. These Canidations didn t have weapons but they moved so fast in the lower gravity that the quickly closed the distance, soon it was a melee, claw against fist.

****************

Alarms cried out for attention on the bridge of the Glasgow. A Canidation warship was closing in.

“eta?” asked Conroy. His calm voice a counterpoint to the frantic activity on the bridge.

“roughly 7 minutes until weapons range. I’ve contacted the shuttle”. maccalum replied.

Conroy nodded. Looking at the helmsman her said “keep that bug ship in between us. We’re smaller and so keep us in its shadow and hopefully they won’t get a weapons lock.”

Nodding, through helmsman fired up the thrusters.

“’ll try time get a target lock on the missile batteries.” Rotchford reported as she programmed the ships turrets.

Captain Conroy starred at the main screen, his fingers tapping a rhythm on the arm of his command seat.

Paulson tried to get a clear shot as a canidaton reared up on its four rear legs. It brought its full weight down on Waltham. Its mandibles opened and snapped closed right over her head. Only her quick thinking and combat helmet saved her from decapitation. She ducked her head and trusting the hardened carbon nanotube and ceramic construction she head-butted the bug right in its open mouth. Mandibles crunched against the helm. The force of through blow and the weight of the bug staggered her for a second, but years of hand to hand training came to her and with a twist and a flick she grabbed the alien and slammed it against the bulkhead. The lower gravity and adrenaline giving her almost superhuman strength.

Her combat knife flashed on the low light as she stabbed the mantis like torso. There was resistance then with a crunch she forced the blade through the carapace. The bug shuddered and wrenched. Flailing its limbs then it was still.

The skirmish was over as quickly as it started. Looking around Paulson shouted “sound off”

A chorus of voices said “here” or “i’m good”

A few troopers took minor injuries but no fatalities.

They sprinted down the corridor. The sound of gunfire brought them up short. The bugs were trying to capture the shuttle. Paulson knew if they lost that they were dead.

A scream echoed down the steel corridor. One of his men had fallen. Canidations pressed on.

“We need a distraction” Paulson shouted to Waltham over the blaring alarms.

“i have an idea. Hold here for a few seconds”

With that she sprinted back the way she came. Moments later an explosion rocked the ship. The lights and gravity cut out, then seconds later they came back on. The unprepared soilders hit the ground but were quickly back on there feet, the Canidations were not as lucky, they were a tangle of legs and claws further down the corridor.

Seizing his chance, Paulson shouting a battle cry and his boarding party fell in the bugs from behind. The battle was short and brutal but they pushed through just as Waltham returned. Her hair was burned and armour scorched.

“What the fuck did you do?” shouted Paulson

“I overloaded that plasma rifle and tossed it in the fire control room. I think we need to get out of here, that room is burning and it’s right next to the missiles”

Once everyone was on board the hatch slammed shut and the shuttle detached then raced back to the Glasgow, just as another explosion ripped through the Canidation warship. A series of smaller explosion’s rocked the ship them with a blast like a supernova the power core blew up. The shuttle was caught in the fireball but escaped with minor damage.

Paulson looked at his and bruised team as the shuttle pilot plotted a course back to the Glasgow.

Paulson pushed one of the Canidation corpses to the side, making down room in the small shuttle. He sat next to the body of a young man, almost a boy. Ramerez. It was his first tour, he was 18 and fresh out of boot camp. Ramerez had taken a plasma blast to the chest. His armour was burned through. Mercifully he had been killed instantly.

************

Conroy watched as the Canidation ship exploded. The shuttle streaked towards the hanger.

“well... shit” he said “get the shuttle on board and get ready to bug out”

calls of “aye” and “yessir” Echoed around the bridge..

The Canidation warship closed in, spitting fire and death at the Glasgow. Point defence destroyed the incoming missiles but the ship rocked from impacts

The Glasgow returned fire, turrets pounded the underside of the Canidation ship as it passed overhead passing through the expanding could of gas and debris.

The helmsman kept a steady course until the shuttle was back in then started evasive manoeuvres, he would have to hold the ship steady for a few moments to allow the hyperdrive to spin up, but the Canidation ship was not making it easy.

“Shuttle is on board. Prepare for Jump in 3...2...1...”

The ship lurched to the side and spun almost 90 degrees, crew members were thrown around the bridge like sticks caught in a hurricane. Alarms blared.

The main lights were down, red emergency lamps cast an eerie glow. Groans came from the crew

Rochford pulled herself back into her seat. Blood running from a head wound. She checked her console “sir..the hyperdrive core has been hit. We’re venting plasma and atmosphere...main power is down. Weapons down....the Canidations are coming around for another pass...”

Before Conroy could respond an explosion tore through the bridge as a missile impacted the armour surrounding the command center.

A ceiling panel that had been knocked loose earlier in the fight fell with a resounding crash pinning Conroy to his command chair and knocking him unconscious. Bones snapped under the force of the impact.

Rochford as the most senior officer left standing opened ship wide Comms “all hands. This is commander rochford. The captain is incapacitated abandon ship. I repeat abandon ship”

She moved as quickly as she could to try to help Conroy, Macallum was at his side trying to move the panel. “mac..leave him. We need to go...” she grabbed his arm “come on...move it soldier” macallum looked at the damaged viewscreen. The Canidation ship was baring down. Any second now it’s main cannons would finish the job. They were out of time.

White hot plasma blasts leaped from the Canidation vessel tearing across the cold black darkness. Promising death to the Glasgow.

A flash and a massive lurch pulled maccalum and Rotchford off their feet, but it wasn’t a weapon impact. It was the lurch of a gravity field forming a few miles away as a ship dropped out of hyperdrive.

A dangerous and potentially fatal move – a single miscalculation could have dropped the new ship right on top of them - but it saved the Glasgow. The rest of the fleet, the few ships that remained had jumped back to help. The TDF New York had jumped In front of the plasma blasts. Taking the hit that would have finished the Glasgow off. It opened up with its main cannons, rail guns blasting the armour above the Canidations missile batteries. Another Terran defence force ship TDF Cardiff jumped in behind and opened up on the bugs with everything it had. The Canidation vessel was powerful, but it couldn’t withstand the combined firepower of the vengeful human warships.

Explosion and explosion, hit after hit. The Canidations withered under the combined firepower and with a final flash it vanished as it’s fusion plant exploded.

The TDF Glasgows communication system beeped for attention. Maccalum moved slowly across

“This is captain Yoshimoyo on the New York. Prepare to receive medic and engineering teams. Your information won us the day Glasgow. All Canidation vessels have been destroyed. This is the first human victory in this war...”

“This is science officer McCallum. “thanks for the help. That was a risky move I owe your helmsman a beer. Captain Conroy has been injured. We don’t know how bad, the ship has taken heavy damage.

*****************

Weeks later Captain Conroy stood in front of admiral Wong.

Conroy had spent most of the time unconscious. His injuries sever, but with advanced medical skill, talented doctors and a dash of luck he had made a full recovery.

“Captain” the admiral began “I’m glad to see you’re back on your feet. I’ve out an official commendation for yourself and your entire crew. The information you fought so hard for will prove invaluable in this conflict”

Wong continued “The data contained ship specifications, technical manuals, training documents and recent fleet movements. With that information we’ve managed to push the Canidations back in a number of theatres , you and your crew have saved thousands of human lives. We all owe you a debt captain.”

“Thank you sir...i'm eager to get back to the Glasgow sir, to get back in the fight.”

The admiral shook his head

“I’m afraid not Conroy. The Glasgow was heavily damaged and will require months of repairs and refit. We can’t have a seasoned crew out of action for so long. You and your crew are being reassigned.”

Wong passed a pad to the captain

“Our newest, most powerful warship. The TDF Lucifer. You’ll be part of a task force – the ghost division. The Canidations are throwing more and more ships against us, and while we’ve slowed the advance to a crawl we are still loosing. You’ll go behind enemy lines and fight a guerrilla war. Do everything you can to bring the bugs down. Everything is a viable target, including the Canidation homeworld. Teach them to fear the wraith of Earth.”

End

[orionares]

BTHB: Comatose- Part 2

A/N: Don’t have a title yet. Here’s part 2. =] -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She dreams of possibilities. 

These possibilities had been buried in the back of her mind a decade ago into the category of ‘broken dreams’ when her partner had disappeared. The particular possibility crossing her mind is a new one, spurred by the day she had jogged away from him with her son in tow on a snowy afternoon.

Noah’s fifteen, tall and lanky with his reddish brown curls, standing with a group of teenagers in matching shirts, black pants and tap shoes. He grins ear to ear with his troop as parents in the audience cheer for an encore.  

In this possibility, she’s standing in the second row, clapping and letting tears of pride run down her cheek. Her not-so-little boy has fought like hell for this moment. An arm wraps around her waist and pulls her close to the only person outside her son who has a piece of her heart. 

"You did good."

She laughs at the compliment  from her once again partner and rests her hand against his cheek. "We did good!”

Her once again partner’s blue eyes sparkle with admiration and love that she’d gone ten years without seeing. In this possibility, they move fluidly as they had before as partners but with a new level of intimacy. 

“This isn’t real,” she whispers, barely audible over the cheering and his attention turned towards her son. She knows she shouldn’t lose herself in this possibility. 

But this possibility is free of saving the world from predators, abandonment issues, lingering fears of the pandemic and pain. And she’s emotionally exhausted. 

So maybe she can stay a while. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elliot’s woken by a kick to his chair leg. 

Expecting Bell and a well needed cup of coffee, Elliot opens his eyes to a blonde haired, blue eyed woman looking extremely unimpressed at the sight of him. The woman had been in Olivia's office, leaving her likely to be one of her detectives. 

"Get up," the blonde commands with a southern drawl. Rollins or Rowan, he guesses as her last name from a foggy memory, turns away from his makeshift cot and gives a lingering sad look towards the unconscious Olivia. She huffs out a breath and returns her attention back to Elliot, saying, “Let’s go for a walk.” 

"Do I get a choice-" Elliot stops mid question at the I freaking dare you glare very similar to Olivia’s. Ignoring the sudden urge to smile in reminiscence, he coughs and swings his legs off the chair serving as the foot of his 'bed' and tweaks his question," What can I do for you, Detective…"

"Rollins, Amanda Rollins," she finishes. "First off, I don’t like you, Stabler. I don’t like how you up and disappeared without a word for a decade,” Amanda continues as she ignores Elliot’s pained expression. She notices Elliot's flinch at the mention of his disappearance. "Come on. I don't have a lot of time."

Elliot takes a beat to read Amanda- she holds onto a coffee tightly as its a lifeline, wears a grey sweater and black slacks with a small stain likely to be from a marker near her knee.

"Are you a parent?" Elliot probes. Standing elicits a yawn and a useless stretch to fight his tight, aching muscles. 

Amanda's expression lightens briefly for the briefest moment. "Two girls. Captain's the godmother for both my girls. Let's head to the garden and chat. Come on.”

------------------------------------------------------

Manhattan is grey and unusually cool for a summer day in July. The hospital's garden has only a handful of visitors that scatter throughout the stone garden. Elliot instinctively scans every face he sees for any ties to Wheatley, even with Richard Wheatley sitting in a jail cell. Amanda leads the way to black steel bench and sits, giving him ample space to sit. 

"So why’d you leave her?" Amanda asks as Elliot lowers himself onto the bench. She avoids his anxious look by eyeing the lukewarm coffee in her hands. 

"It's complicated-"

Amanda scoffs before taking a sip of her coffee. She fidgets in her seat briefly before leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. "That's bullshit."

Elliot runs a hand over the back of his neck and sighs. He replays bits and pieces of his conversation with Noah in his head whispers he fishes for the most diplomatic answer to say. Amanda narrows her eyes at the silence before snapping, "You broke her trust, you know that? My old partner, Nick Amaro, had to double our efforts to gain Olivia’s trust because of you!" 

"I know, " he answers weakly. The weeks after landing in Rome are a blur, thanks to alcohol and sleepless nights. "I can't imagine. "

"No, you can't."

The silence that follows is thick between them. The blonde haired detective stares straight ahead with a small white dove statue surrounded by colorful peonies. She takes a long sip of her coffee and mutters, “She’s been through a lot in the last ten years- things that…”

Elliot flinches. Among the suspicious glances of the infamous rogue detective, he’s heard whispers and vague references of “with all she’s been through” whenever he’s been within arm’s reach of Olivia. 

“Did something-” the question that’s been buried between his grief for Kathy and hatred for Richard Wheatley spills out, “-did- what happened?”

Amanda finally turns her head to meet Elliot’s eyes. He can read hesitancy in her eyes to trust the man that abandoned Olivia. He also reads a desire to either punch him in the face or shoot him that he’s seen from Fin, the young dark haired officer he met briefly in Olivia’s office, the ADA and oddly, Chief Garland. 

“It isn’t my story to tell,” Amanda replies carefully. “There’s actually multiple stories but the big one is something you need to hear from her. Look, Stabler- I’ve only heard bits and pieces about you and Liv and I want to say that I trust her judgement.” 

Elliot pushes past his mind already fervently making a plan to scour his ex-partner’s file once he’s back upstairs. A lone raindrops hits his cheek, warning a need to go inside and an end of their conversation. “I’m not going anywhere. I-I’m not- I can’t lose her again.”

Amanda rises to her feet and tosses her empty coffee cup into the black garbage bin next to the bench. With a quick glance to her cellphone screen, she sighs, “Stabler, don’t screw this up, ok?”

He unconsciously fidgets with his wedding ring and only nods in response.  There's a never ending list of screw up he carries in the back of his mind where Olivia and Kathy sit. 

Two women, lives affected by his indecision. 

"Stabler?"

Elliot glances up to Amanda who hasn't moved from where she stands. She sighs before stating ,"William Lewis. He's the big one."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You got a good group of detectives," are the first words Elliot stammers fifteen minutes later once he's back alone with Olivia. "I met Amanda Rollins and she's tough. I like her."

He can imagine her nodding in acknowledgement at the comment with pride. Instead, the heart monitor continues to beep steadily. "She mentioned that things happened while I was gone, "he pauses as his guilt once more bubbles up," Bad Things."

Elliot lowers his head into his hand. "Liv, if I'm being honest, there's a selfish part of me that doesn't want to know. I want to live in a world where- I'm terrified of what I'll find."

Although he had never told her, the near rape at Seaview Corrections Facility had forever seared a permanent place in his mind. He's eternally great full for Fin's save but the could have's sitting in his mind,  flaring up with every glance or comment by a suspect-

"I don't…." Elliot pulls his cellphone out of his jacket pocket and notices how much heavier the object feels. "William Lewis- did he try to kill you? Did he ra-"

He cant even finish the sentence before he chokes back a sob. "If he...I shouldn't have left!"

The image of her shifting in her seat, her brown eyes shifting from item to item in her surrounding in a tact to prepare herself comes to mind. Elliot reaches out to brush his hand against her right hand resting on her stomach in an unconscious attempt to comfort her.  

And if he's honest- himself.

With two quick inhales, Elliot opens the NYPD database on his cellphone and maneuvers to case search. He sneaks another glass to her before typing William Lewis in the search bar. When a dark haired, empty-eyed man appears, Elliot flinches. 

September 25, 2013

January 8, 2014

April 30th, 2014

"Christ," Elliot mutters. 

Three different dates. 

Three separate incidents.

 Less than one year. 

The detective readies himself to open the file before his guilt, now running rampant in his mind, flashes a memory of what he had been doing in September 2013. 

Camogli. 

He had finally slipped into some form of normalcy with his family and had gone to the quaint fishing town on the coast of Italy. 

Elliot takes one more glance at his unconscious partner- ex-partner - and opens the file on William Lewis. 

And cries.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

She now dreams of Elliot in a jail cell. 

He's sitting on a silver bench, leaning forward with an elbow on a bouncing knee. She can see his knuckles to be bloodied and torn and follows the trail of dried blood running up his arms to the bloodied dress blue shirt.

"El," she calls out. Her eyes droop even as she stands on four days of food and sleep deprivation. "You didn't-" the words spill out, "You didn't have to kill him."

There's an emptiness in his eyes that shares space with the lack of regret. "I had to. Lewis hurt you."

Wait- realization comes in dread. Elliot's never been arrested, she's never found him bloodied and bruised in this state and overall, when it comes to William, Lewis- he wasn't there. 

She staggers back into the wall.

This isn't right- he wasn't this isn't a memory or a blissful possibility now that he's home. 

No, this is 2013 and he's killed William Lewis.

No. This isn't right at all.

[ladyideal]

Ficmas~ Day 5

Pairing: Jim Kirk x Gender Neutral!Reader

Word Count: 1421

Warnings: Canon death, all fluff

Requested by: @mournthewicked

Summary: Jim asks you to be his fake s/o, then you both end up falling in love.

A/n: 😍😍😍😍 went a little different then I intended but here we go.

"Captain," You greeted after ringing the bell. "Care to share some whiskey?"

You held up a bottle and 2 glasses.

"Sure, come in come in."

Shore leave was announced a month ago, and the ship buzzed to life. Crewmembers swapped plans, friends made stops together, vacations were researched and booked. Everyone focused hard on their reports, sending them up to their immediate commanding officers when finished and relayed to Command.

"Made any plans yet, Y/N?" Jim popped the cork off, pouring a generous glug into each glass and handing one to you. 

You shrugged, swirling the alcohol around the glass. "Not sure. Definitely visit my dad and then maybe go on a plane to Europe probably. Have you?"

"Of course I have! See my mom, see how it's going with Bones and Joanna," He answered, taking a sip. "Get called Uncle Jim and how I owe a blanket fort. Can't wait. What kind of plans do you call yours?!"

"Impulsive plans."

He snorted, but before he could reply a call came in from his PADD.

"Shoo. Go take the call," You took a sip, taking out yours so you didn't eavesdrop.

"Oh it's mom. I'll be right back," He looked apologetic before answering the call and taking the PADD into his bedroom.

You made yourself at home as you waited. Jim was one of your close friends ever since you stumbled across him during one of his nightly ship rounds. It was one of the rare nights you took on Gamma shift when you found him strolling through the corridors near your lab. 

"Uh Jim?" You called, drinking the last of your glass. "I think I'll leave first, and stop by another time."

"James?" Winona spoke, loud enough you could hear. "Who is that in your room?"

"Mom, it's Y/N. I've talked about them before. They're one of my-."

"Oh my lord, are you seeing them?" His mom squealed in delight, covering her mouth with both hands. "Why didn't you tell me you were dating, Jim? Your father would've been delighted to meet them."

As Jim rounded the corner, you could see the confusion, desperation, and the anxiety flipped through his face before turning his attention to you. "Go with it for me, please?" He mouthed over the PADD as his mom continued gushing over him. 

You furrowed your brows at him before realization dawned. He didn't want to disappoint his mother. After so long on being on his own, no wonder Winona was excited. 

"Hi Mrs Kirk," You answered loudly. 

"James Tiberious Kirk, you turn the screen over to them right this minute," He did so, cringing at being called his full name. "Oh my god, I'm so happy that you make my son so happy. It's so wonderful to finally meet you. Here I was thinking that my James would be in love with anyone. How long has it been?"

"Around three months," You made up an amount of time, scooching over the sofa so that the blonde could sit next to you. Your knees touched briefly, and nearly everything within shriveled up.

"Only three months! All my son talks is about you and only you. You make him so happy. Oh, I'm so happy he found you. Stop by soon and see me, will you? I can't wait to see you in person, Y/N."

You and Jim shared a look.

And that was exactly how you found yourself getting out of the airport taxi and thanking the driver. 

"So here we are," Jim spoke, taking out the duffel bags. "Iowa, home."

"Home," You echoed, listening to how odd the sound tasted. The ship was your home now, since your immediate family stopped communications when you enrolled into Starfleet years ago. 

He attempted a smile. "Thank you for this, Y/N. I just don't want to see my momma sad. I'll make this up to you."

"James, Y/N! You're both here!" Winona danced out the front door, hugged her son, and then you. "Oh it is so wonderful to see you in person, Y/N. I couldn't believe my ears when James said he was dating."

"Mom," Jim mumbled, looking embarrassed. "Could we head in first? It's been a long ride."

"Of course, come in, come in. Let this be your home too, Y/N," She led you in, peppering your supposed to be boyfriend with questions. You didn't have the heart to correct her. Even after 3 years of graduating from the Academy, not even a message was sent your way. "I have the guest room all ready for you."

"Here, let me show you around the house," Jim offered, and gratefully you accepted. Two story houses was definitely going to be confusing.

"So uh this is my room," He spoke, opening the door and letting you go in first. There were photos of his family hung on the walls along with some band posters, medals, certificates, his Starfleet Academy diploma, and various other items. The wooden desk was on the far right corner, complete with a desk light and some extra stylus. To the immediate right was the closet, a bookshelf on the left, and a freshly made bed tucked into the far left corner. 

"You have a brother?" You asked, beelining for the photo frame first.

"Sam, but he's named after dad," The blonde spoke, placing both duffel bags on the bed. "He's on Deneva, working as a research biologist for Starfleet too."

"You've never mentioned him before," You pulled your attention away from the frame and other parts of his room. 

"Never came up."

That was true. He'd talk about his mom more often than not, but no one else. You weren't nosy either. But that was how you started your first few days at Jim's and getting to know him and his mom a little better. After a week, things were more comfortable and routine. 

Some days he would take you on a trip with his dad's motorcycle and show you around Riverside. Some days he would take you out on dates, catch up with old friends, and enjoy being back home. 

For the first time, you even wondered if this was even be called fake dating anymore. The man himself could easily drop the act when his mom wasn't around, 

Unless…

"Hey, Y/N. Mom wants to head to Dad's cemetery, said we should go say hi and clean his place. Do you want to come?" Jim spoke from the other sofa, feet still on the arms and watching you. 

Meet the famous First Officer George Kirk of the USS Kelvin?

"Yeah, I'll come," You spoke, getting to your feet. 

The memorial was open when the car pulled through. Rows of names could be found etched on stones in front of a small lot of flowers or a tree, while some only had just the headstones. The trees gently rocked alongside the cool breeze, as birds chirped under the sunlight. Snow flurries drifted down, floating along the wind that carried it far and wide. 

"Here we are," Winona spoke, finally stopping at a name. "Not a day goes by that I don't have him in my mind. I'm sure he would have loved to have met you, Y/N. It takes someone special James after all he's gone through."

You eyed Jim as he knelt down, dusted the dirt and the fresh snow off the memorial, and placed fresh flowers to the side. 

"Come, Y/N. Let me introduce you to my dad." He spoke, patting the patch of green grass beside him. 

"If you say so, Cap," You shuffled closer, despite feeling that you shouldn't intrude on the family's privacy. 

And so Jim introduced you to his father, how he knew you, became friends, and then started dating not very long ago. That he was happy and excited that someone made him happy. While he spoke, your thoughts wandered off to your previous ones. 

Was this all a ruse or was he really actually wanting this? Of course, like many others, he was once the source of your romantic interests, but never got the courage to speak to him till that night.

On the ride back home with his mom driving and singing along to a song on the radio, you confronted him. 

"I don't think we're playing pretend anymore, are we?"

He took your hand in his, gently squeezed it, and smiled his usual beautiful blinding smile. "Welcome to the Kirk family, Y/N."

"Love you too."

Eats Everything: @mournthewicked @asraime @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @aspiring-ginger @groovyfluxie @also-fangirlinsweden @keijibum @bluesclues-1234 @mysoulshideaway @fandom-imagination-ss @mayday1284 @sayanythingcreations @charlielotte @supergeekfangirl​ @your-sparklywinnercollection​

Trekkies: @marvelouslytrekking @lykxzandlove @april-showers-and-flowers @mrs-l-mccoy @piccolaromana @strange-old-worlds @scraftskhu35 @worm-cant-read @fandomismymiddlename @childofthecornflakes @yueci @lgbtqcontinuum @dartheldur @goddess-of-many-fandoms @crackheadcastdirector @writerdee1701​

[cilldaracailin]

I like to come on every now and again with something that is not Robyn and Taron related and today is that lucky day!

So I got...

A ticket to see Elton John in Cork in July next year!!

(I wanted to put a gif of Elton John in here but A) There are very few and B) They are of Taron playing Elton John...)

And actually I currently have two tickets to Elton John next year.

So here is the story part of the post.

I knew I wanted a ticket. Last time Elton is ever preforming in Ireland, hell yes I want a ticket. I have seen him before and it was amazing (Pissed rain and was freezing cold but it was amazing) so I definitely needed to get a ticket to go and see his tour.

I brought my laptop into work, ready to go at 9am to get a ticket. Except the internet would not load for me!

The other manager then set up her hot spot for me so I could get online. Woohoo. Back in the queue and got my ticket for pitch seating, row X, seat something or other, I can’t remember and I was thrilled! Pitch seating? Hell yes and row X was amazing to me. That was like 24 rows from the front. Perfect. 

Except I needed to log into my Ticketmaster to pay... Think I could remember my password? Of course not! Hit the ‘forgot password’ option so many times but the clock is ticking down for my time for my ticket purchase! No email, lost the ticket.

In I go again, same ticket, same problem! It was just not sending me the email to reset the password. I was then trying on my phone and the time was running down again!

One of staff members (I used to work in the room with her) came in and was like ‘well you get the ticket?’ and I was like ‘no i cant remember my password!’

So she got her phone, logged onto Ticketmaster on the app on her phone and got onto the tickets and got a row z, seat 172 I think it was (I am still waiting for her to send me on all the details..). So I was like yeah just book it, cos I was worried I would end up with no ticket or a seat on the stands way high up, so through her Ticketmaster, we got my ticket booked!

Delighted I was... Though a little put off that I didn't have any of the details on my Ticketmaster (Cos I am weird like that and hate having to ask and ask for my confirmation etc.. I would rather have it myself..)

But...

Then I came home  on lunch and my curiosity got the better of me and I logged into Ticketmaster, changed my password and searched for Elton tickets.

First one that came up for one ticket was row H, seat 68! I was like Oh my Goodness! That seat is amazing and SO MUCH better than the one I got earlier...

So I kinda bought the ticket... 

So hence I have two tickets for Elton next year and I know it is Elton so I didn't mind paying the massive price, but I paid it twice.... woops!

I am going to sell the first one and just keep my row H one! That is 8 rows from the front! Delighted!

And sure look if I can’t sell it, I will figure it out closer to the time. It is nearly a year away.

I also booked my hotel for the stay over too and goodness that was a tricky one. Already there was very little left so that was a bit expensive too but look it’s next year, I can save my pennies and justify the ticket and hotel and as Cork is about a 2 and a half hour drive so I will just take the day off work and get down early. Might even look to get an early check in so I can get in the hotel early and get settled. The hotel is half an hour walk from the stadium..

But woohoo! (Still with two tickets though... haha!)

So it was a mad ticket buying day. I forgot the nervous/stressful/exciting rush of buying concert tickets and I am glad I can ‘save’ for the year to pay for it. It is very pricey and I know I am super lucky being able to go and finger crossed by next year, all will be good to go.

Anyway. that is my story of the day.

In other news, Ireland is basking in 28 - 30 degree heat and has been since Saturday. I actually have a bit of a tan but while work hasn't been too bad during the week (The office has a desk fan that I can sit in front of), today was ridiculous. So much so I had to shower on my lunch! I love the heat but working in it is hard and we have no magic air con in our building. Each room has a fan but the temperature in the rooms is hitting 29 or 30 degrees so the staff and kids are melting.

Thankfully tomorrow is Friday and then the weekend and I do believe the weather is meant to change over the weekend to about 20 degrees and rain so hopefully it will cool down a tad!

Ok I think I am done with my stories and catch up now!

I am still working away on Robyn and Taron. It is slow going ( I have been enjoying the sun after work and working on my tan ) but I have been writing it.

Anywhoo, I will stop now, I will just keep rambling otherwise!

Hope everyone is well!

Suze xxx

[anne-white-star]

Young Jon pertwee x waitress!reader 

Notes: reader is a waitress jon saves her from a scary situation and more will happen read to find out😊

Please ignore any spelling mistakes thank you 😊

There are hystorical mistakes im sorry about that i tried my best

Warnings : cursing nothing bad or explisit

Words : 2067

It was 1947 2 years After the war of 1945 people wer trying to pick back up their lives. A lot of buildings were destroyed many people died, lots of people fled and fought the war it was a big chaos the last 5 years, but things were calm now.

Jon pertwee came back home from the war after serving as a marine in the navy on the HMS Hood also in the ww2 many of his men died one of the only survivers of his group was him and Ian Fleming. (I hope i got it corect if not my excuses)

"Hey jon! How are you doing mate?" Jon turnd around at the mention of his name.

"Oh hey ian, it has been a few years" jon grabed his hand and shook it "im doing fine how about you?".

"im doing alright, im just trying to pick my life back up you?" They started to walk next to echother.     

"Yes me to the past years have been really tough" as they both crossed the street jon his eyes fell on a bar/restaurant/pub "shall we go get a beer? Than we talk further".

"Sounds good im always if for a cold beer" ian laught

Walking in they were greated by lots of men sitting and drinking their fill, waitresses were serving food the bar tender was filling their beer mug. And there were a few cooks in the back prepairing some food. They sat down at a table and a women walked up to them.

"Hello welkom to the fox and hounds my name is y/n and i will be your waitress this afternoon would you like to eat or drink something?" She grabed a pen and note book out of her apron ready to Wright down their order. (The Fox & Hounds is locaded at 29 Passmore St, Belgravia, London SW1W 8HR, not far from jon his old home at 66 Chester Row it was build around 1960 but lets pretend its older)

"Umm yes" jon looked at the menu

"I'll take a pint" ian said

"I take one as wel"

Y/n looked up from her note book "anything ells?"

"No this is fine" jon smiled at the women

"Alright two pints coming up" she walked back to the bar to get them

"Are you starting to like her don't you?" Ian asked

"What?"

"I saw the way you looked at her"

"Oh be quiet you" jon punched his shoulder while grining  

"So here you go two pints that be 2s 4d"( its origanaly 1s 2d im not british i Googled it but i really don't know how this works it was after the war) she smiled and put them down on the table before them

"Here you go i pay for both of us" ian said to her and smiled

Y/n took the money from the table and put it in her apron

Jon started to drink his beer and they talked with echoter for about 30 minuts when

"Hey let me go aaahhh!!!"

They both turned around to look where the scream came from, when they turned around they saw y/n being hold back with a gun pointed to her head

"Give me all the money out the register or the pretty girl will pay with her life"   

"Please let me go" she asked while crying softly

Jon put his beer mug back down on the table and stood up "let the girl go"

"Hmpf" "what are you going to....." the man was caught of guard by jon punching him in the face "agh!! you fucking cunt!" the gun fell out of his hand and His hands flew to his nose. Jon grabed the gun from the ground and went to stand in between y/n and the man.

"Now put your hands up turn around and face the wall" jon pointed the gun in the back of the man "someone call the police"

Ian walked up to y/n and sat next to her on the ground "are you alright?"

"Yeah yeah im fine..... i just need a moment" *sigh*

About 30 minuts later Two police officers stept in "Good afternoon we got a call for a attempt of robbery and a hostage"

"Yes sirs here he is" jon said while still pointing his gun at the man.

"Alright we take it from here thank you so mutch for keeping him under controle" one of the police man took handcuffs and arested the man.

"Also here is his gun" jon gave it to the other officer

"Thank you sir, we will take care of all this".

After the police officers took the man away jon turned to y/n sitting on the ground with a blanked over her shoulders. "how are you feeling?"

"Im feeling better now thank you" *sigh* "i just feel a bit scared now to get home"

"Where do you life?"

"About 30 minuts away but i have to be at work tomorow"

"If you want you can stay at my home i don't live far from the restaurant"

"That would be Nice sir"

"Oh please don't be so formal just call me jon"

"Thank you jon" y/n smiled at him.

Ian had been gone for a few hours after the insedent, after y/n her shift they walked to jon's house

"So this is my place" jon unlocked the door and let her in. "Make yourself at home"

"Its quite lovely" she looked around, y/n put her bag down and hung her coat on the coat rack.

"You must be hugry" jon said while walking to the kitchen "what would you like?"

"Hmm is (favorite food) alright?"

Jon laught "sure but i don't know how to make that, perhaps you could help me?"

"Of course i will help you jon its the least i can do" she went to stand next to him.

After they were done preparing the food they both sat down and started to eat

"Hmm this tastes great"

"Im glad you like it jon"

When they were done with eating their food y/n went to prepare herself for bed "where can i sleep jon?"

"you can take the bed y/n i'll take the coutch"

"Are you sure?"

"Its fine don't worry, good night dear"

"Good night".

The next morning both jon and y/n had breakfast with echoter and talked about all kinds of stuff

"i can't thank you enough for helping me out yesterday"

"Oh its nothig i dealed with worse"

"You fought in the war din't you?"

"Unfortanetly yes" jon looked down sadly "so many died, i lost a lot of comerats in battle"

Y/n grabed his hand softly in hers "Im so sorry, that you had to go trough that jon"

Jon smiled at her "Its alright I only hope this never happens again"

Y/n looked at the clock "oh goodness i have to get ready my shift starts in an hour" she stood up and went to get ready for work.

The few days that y/n had to work she would sleep the nights at jon's house so that she could be at work on time when she had off from work y/n would go back to her own home. Jon had to admid the days when she wasn't there during the late afternoon and diner it was quite lonley, but the days she was at his house they enjoyed cooking, reading and playing games to pass the time.

6 months had passed sinds the incedent at the fox and hounds and y/n and jon got very close with echoter they became great Friends even to the point that they both fell in love with one another but both din't know it that they were.

"Hey jon in a few days there will be music at the fox and hounds and i was wondering if you would like to go with me?"

"Sure it sounds like fun"

The evening came around and people were dressed up formal y/n was wearing a long black dress with long white gloves and golden wristbands plus a pearl necklace around her nek her hair was in pretty waves down her back. They were enjoying them selfs when the bar tender came up to y/n

"Y/n can i talk to you for a moment"

"Alright sure, i be back in a few minuts jon" they both walked to the back of the restaurant "whats wrong?"

"Wel i got the news that the last person who was suposed to sing could't come because their car broke down"

"Oh no what are we going to do"

"Cant you go up there?"

"What me? Really?"

"Yes you, i have heared you sing something while being in the back your voice is very pretty y/n"

"Hmm... Alright i'll do it"

"Thank you y/n you are a life saver"

About 30 minuts later it was time for her to come one the stage

"Ladys and gentelmen may i have your atention for the last act y/n y/l/n"

(Play the song from here if you want)

🎶He was a famous trumpet man from old Chicago way

He had a boogie style that no one else could play

He was the top man at his craft

But then his number came up and he was gone with the draft

He's in the army now, a-blowin' Reveille

He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B

A-toot, a-toot, a-toot-diddelyada🎶

Y/n looked over the crowd trying to find jon

🎶Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai

Have you ever danced in the tropics?

Well that girl's a fool

With the Gaucho?????

Of the South American way, hey!

Ai, ai, ai, ai. ai

Could you have ever kissed in the moon light

If you never kissed

Who knows what you've missed

In the South American Way🎶

Again looking around she still could't spot him

🎶Bei mir bist du schoen

Please let me explain

Bie mir bist du schoen means you're grand

Bei mir bist du schoen

Again I'll explain

It means you're the fairest in the land

I could say "bella, bella"

Even say "wunderbar"

Each language only helps me tell you

How grand you are

I'll try to explain

Bei mir bist du schoen

So kiss me and say you'll understand🎶

"Okay guys, grab your gal and hit the floor

'Cos here's that beat you've been waiting to swing to" said the bar tender to the crowd of people

🎶Who's the lovin' daddy with the beautiful eyes

What a pair o' lips, I'd like to try 'em for size

I'll just tell him, "Baby, won't you swing it with me"

Hope he tells me, "Baby, what a wing it will be"

So, I said politely "Darlin' may I intrude"

He said "Don't keep me waitin' when I'm in the mood"

In the mood

In the mood

In the mood

It didn't take me long to say "I'm in the mood now🎶

She finaly spoted him in the crowd he was looking at her with a dreamy look.

🎶If you ever go down Trinidad

They make you feel so very glad

Calypso sing and make up rhyme

Guarantee you one real good fine time

Drinkin' rum and Coca-Cola

Go down Point Koomahnah

Both mother and daughter

Workin' for the Yankee dollar🎶

🎶Oh, Tico Tico, tick

Oh, Tico Tico, tock

This Tico Tico, he's the cuckoo in my clock

And when he says "Cuckoo"

He means it's time to woo

It's Tico time for all the lovers in the block

I've got a heavy date

A tete-a-tete at eight

So speak, oh Tico, tell me is it getting late?

If I'm on time, cuckoo

But, if I'm late, woo woo

The one my heart is gone to may not want to wait🎶

🎶In Spain they say "Si, si"

In France you hear "Oui, oui"

Ev'ry little Dutch girl says "Ya, ya"

Ev'ry little Russian says "Da, da"

La-la-la-la-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-de-de-da-da

De-da-da-da-da-da-da-da🎶

When the song was over people clapped and cheered for her performance. Jon walked up the stairs of the podium.

"That was amazing y/n i din't know you could sing so wel"

"Thank you jon it means a lot" y/n smiled

"I want to ask you a question y/n"

"Yes jon go ahead"

"Would you like to be My girlfriend?"

"I would love to"

Jon kissed y/n a top of her head knowing that this women wil be a great joy in his live.

The end

I hope you all enjoyed reading 😊

[wikipediathefreeencyclopedia]

compilation of my favorite otp prompts 5

tag

cute weather/seasonal AUs your OTP [x]

when it rains

who wears the designer raincoat/umbrella set and who is wearing oversized polkadot rainboots and a huge yellow duck raincoat

going for a walk in the rain and splashing in puddles

which one seduces the other into standing under a tree before shaking the branch and soaking them

gOING SWIMMING IN THE RAIN and making out maybe 

fall (aka autumn)

who buys mulled cider, who buys hard cider

who wears the really intense halloween costume, who wears a sheet with holes in it 

snow/winter

Who builds the snowman, who eats the carrot nose bc they weren’t paying attention (”OH THATS what the carrot was for, my bad”)

oh no we stayed out too long and need to warm up better share the shower/hot chocolate to conserve resources

person A burying person B in snow and then kissing their forehead and walking away (“YOU MOTHERFUCKER YOU CANT LEAVE ME HERE” “I love you too I’ll be back!” “EXCUSE ME”) 

imagine your competitive otp [x]

making ridiculous bets on whose wind-up toy will win the race (may include sabotage)

having a food competition (with a food both of them hate)

having a cake-baking competition

sabotaging each other in mario kart

Some height difference things for your OTP [x]

The taller one sitting on the floor between the shorter one’s knees as the shorter one braids/plays with their hair. 

The shorter one tackle-hugging the taller one when they come home from some sort of trip, hoping that they’ll both fall to the floor in a pile of limbs and cuddles/kisses, but unfortunately the shorter one isn’t strong/heavy enough and they both remain standing. 

Bonus: to compensate, the taller one decides to pick the shorter one up. 

The shorter one having to sprawl like half their body across the taller one whenever they ride the bus/train so as to give the taller one all the leg room.

Or, the shorter one sitting down and immediately noticing that their feet don’t touch the floor, becoming embarrassed by this, and then pretending that they’d rather just snuggle up super tight with the taller one.

Bonus: the taller one realizes exactly what’s going on but says nothing. Or teases them endlessly about it, up to you.

The shorter one physically sitting in the taller one’s lap.

The taller one standing behind the shorter one and putting their arms around their shoulders, then resting their chin on top of the shorter one’s head. 

Bonus if they’re watching the stars/sunset/ocean together.

Imagine your OTP: Orchestra edition [x]

‘I didn’t bring my music but you gave me your extra copy and I blurted out that I loved you, and we could have awkwardly moved past that but then you accidentally said that you loved me back’

‘I was in the very back row of your concert so I could barely see the stage but I was so impressed with your performance that I decided to hang around and see if I could meet you, and it turns out that you are actually very cute holy shit’

AU List #3 (Theme: Jobs/Work) [x]

“You stood up for me against that really rude costumer who almost made me cry, thank you.”

random aus to consider though [x]

we pulled an all nighter trying to play monopoly and i think i may have confessed some weird shit

Hospital OTP Prompts [x]

I’m a bit loopy on the drugs they gave me for the pain and I told you that I love you and it’s the only thing I remember afterwards AU

The doctor is constantly telling you off cause you keep making my heart beat go faster when you’re talking to me AU

Things I need to be written [x]

person B is a half mermaid and person A orders the salmon for the both of them

Who wants some AUs? [x]

“‘You’re gonna get a cold if you stand out in the rain!’” AU

“I’m on the swings at the park and looking real depressed why did you come over to talk to me?” AU

Weird OTP Prompts for all your fanfiction needs [x]

You’re colourblind, and I managed to get you glasses that will let you see all the colours, but instead of being amazed, you’re just really offended by the colour purple, and you’re yelling at me for wearing a purple shirt.

“Do you masturbate?” “I–I’m sorry, do I know you?” “No, now answer the question.”

I’m colourblind, and you gave me these really awesome glasses that let me see colour, and I’m pretending to really hate the colour purple because I want you to take your shirt off. But really, purple is a fucking ugly colour.

Some of my actual experiences in musicals/plays... [x]

hey we’ve never talked before so now we’re playing love interests how about that AU

hey we’ve been good friends for years so now we’re playing love interests how about that AU

I play a police officer and at one point I get to arrest and drag your character offstage and I’m having a little too much fun with it AU

Did somebody say OTP PROMPTS? [x]

Person A dips Person B (like the dance move, but then get distracted and drops them).

A walking in on B absolutely killing it at Just Dance.

Person B wins Person A a gigantic stuffed animal at the fair.

Person B reading to Person A on the couch to help them fall asleep.

A and B having no mercy on each other in Super Smash Bros.

Person A playfully teasing Person B about how cute they are.

your otp finding each other annoyingly endearing [x]

you’re so stoic or deadpan most of the time but when you get flustered your face lights up red like a beacon and it’s so cute.

you have no idea what personal space is and it’s really distracting when your face is two inches away from mine, what if i turn my head and accidentally kiss you

you don’t like snuggling or a lot of touching but when you’re asleep you’re a cuddler for better or for worse

MORE AUs for you [x]

you’re a magician and you pick me to be your assistant for a trick but the real magic is how you managed to slip your phone number to me while you were sawing me in half au

I made my thousandth paper crane and wished to find my soulmate and the next day you move in next door to me what does this mean au

AUs based (loosely) on things that have happened to me recently [x]

I just watched you fill up a container with dry dog food biscuit by biscuit what the hell are you doing

76 OTP prompts list [x]

Person B is reeaaaaaally tired, but Person A is super, super energetic and loud. Trying to get Person A to shut up, Person B kisses Person A.

Imagine person A of your OTP relentlessly flirting with B in public, just to see B blush.

Imagine Person A of your OTP seeing Person B with bed hair for the first time, and being totally blown away by how cute/hot/etc. they look with their hair being a huge mess. Bonus: if Person A gets flustered when Person B pokes fun at them for liking it.

Imagine your OTP getting in a fight and one of them yelling that they love the other one and then it gets really quiet.

Imagine your OTP cuddling under a blanket on a cold winter night. Person A gently wrapping their arms around Person B and lightly kissing down their neck making Person B shiver from something other than the cold outside.

Imagine your OTP running into each other under the mistletoe. Person A blushes and goes to suggest that they don’t have to kiss but Person B cuts them off with a kiss.

Imagine person A walking out of the bathroom after a shower, half-naked and wreathed in steam, and B immediately dropping whatever they were holding. Bonus if it’s an animal which gives them the stink eye before slinking away.

Imagine your OTP living in a dorm. Person A thinks that person B is kinda cute, but otherwise doesn’t feel much for them. Person A goes to borrow a textbook from person B and walks in on person B in their pajamas with their hair all messed up and person A thinks it’s the cutest thing ever.

Imagine person A of your otp is reading a book late at night and person B can’t sleep so they ask person A to read to them so person A starts reading out loud and a few minutes later person B is completely knocked out and person A gives them a kiss on their forehead.

Being on the brink of admitting their feelings for each other but then getting interrupted.

“You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”

OTP Prompts [x]

Imagine Person A seeing Person B and just having the most powerful, undeniable urge to have sex. Just out of the blue with no provocation except for Person B’s existence. Bonus if they’re having conflicting feelings about acting upon the urge because they’re in public.

no title [x] 

‘i keep bumping into you everywhere and you’re starting to get weirded out but i’m not stalking you it’s just a string of coincidences i swear no wait let me explain’ au

Random OTP Prompts [x]

Everyone I talk to mentions you at some point and I didn’t get it but now we’ve met and I do. I definitely do.

We knew each other when we were like 2 years old because our moms are friends and we haven’t seen each other since but now your family is visiting and you’re a lot hotter than you were when you were a toddler.

Everyone thinks I have a crush on your friend but actually I like you which is even more embarrassing.

Reunited AUs [x]

“we’re texting for the first time in forever and i told you about some stupid thing i did and sent a sarcastic ‘you must really miss me, huh’ and you just replied ‘yes’ and i think my heart just broke” au

Spoopy Halloween AU’s for ur OTP!!! [x]

we were supposed to go on a double date to this horror movie but neither of our dates showed up and it’s really just our friends trying to get us together 

we both got dragged to this stuffy Halloween party by our parents wanna kiss in the corner? 

[gaynarutodude]

Long dream post sowwy

Had a dream Stephen King had a 12 y/o son who looked exactly like him and they put out a new movie called House Orphan set in like some old fishing town in Maine (like usual) and Little Steve starred in it, then I WAS Little Steve in the movie and i was riding my bike through the town on Halloween Eve with one if my friends (Friend A) when two kids who used to bully us but went missing a year ago showed up out of nowhere and asked us where we'd be going on Halloween, and before either one of us could answer, the other bully said we'd be going home and we both just nodded and they laughed and rode off--

Dream cut to Halloween day after school where I'm now riding with 2 friends trying to go home when I start losing control of my body and no matter how many times I try to turn around or go someplace different, my body wont listen to me and keeps heading towards House Orphan (a really big abandoned and cursed home near the docks) rather than home,,, on the way, I look at the windows of houses I'm passing closer to the home and try to call for help but all I see are other people in the window pressing their mouths against them and they're stretched unnaturally wide and vibrating, their skin pale and their eyes focused on me---

Cut again to me being outside of the home and a crowd of tourists, my two friends and I are the only locals from town save for these 2 girls from high school, has gathered outside the building,,, someone whose features I cant remember but I think his name was Lee Ola tells us that the goal of the night was simple: to enter the house, find the letters written to us, build our tome, and only then can we leave,,,, everyone was super excited except for me, and we all rushed to find the clue on the outside of the home that supposedly had the combination to the lock on the door,,, we scrambled trying to decipher this 7 foot tall block of wood with seaweed and aged carvings on it, but the two highschool girls got impatient and broke the glass on the door and unlocked it, going inside---

Everyone else followed them in and I was about to too when my friend (Friend B) said that that wasnt playing by the rules and we shouldnt follow them in,, I said okay and so we waited outside but a gnawing feeling started eating away at me and when I looked at my skin it was clammy and getting pale and translucent, I thought in the distance I could hear the calls of people growing louder, the need to enter the house soon was killing me,,,,, Friend A and B argued because Friend B was feeling it too, so we decided to go in, but first Friend A said a little prayer asking for forgiveness from God (she was a little religious + superstitious),, seconds later the sky darkened a a dark red cloud of locusts swooped in and ate a message in the dead grass that said "Lee Ola forgives you"--

We enter the house and we dont see any of the 10 or so other people who were outside, we walk through a foyer and living room, the house isnt as decrepit on inside as it is outside, in fact, it was eerily modern, as we went to go up the stairs in front of the entrance, the two highschool girls stormed down the steps, one in tears, the other fuming, telling us that this house is a sham and that we should leave before the freaks here mess with us too, and as they walk out the door, I feel the need to look away as if something was going to happen to them and I didnt want to know what---

Anyways,, the dream was freaking me OUT because it was shot just like a movie in my brain and I had a front row seat for each scene while also being the main character so it started unraveling as I struggled to wake up,,, we find a 6 year old girl wandering around, bring her with us,, we run into a police officer as well who takes the 6 year old into a candy shop on the second floor of the house,, Friend B and I hid down a long hall from Darth Vader who showed up out of nowhere saying Darth Vader things,, I found a letter but it wasnt mine,,, then as I got closer to waking up, my perspective cut to a monkey man who I guess was super smart, and he was observing all the people in the home, when suddenly a ship arrives with more monkey men and they rejoice at finding him, but Me Monkey Man says that I'm not done finding the one,, and they ask me to come back with them, but Me Monkey Man is too embarrassed to admit that he made a mistake leaving and tells them that he's waiting and too good them now, so they leave and he cries while watching his terror house

[texanredrose]

Kindred Ch 2

This chapter brought to you by Moonwatcher13! Thanks buddy!

Winter cursed under her breath as she got out of her car, reaching down to pull on the hood tab to pop it open. By the smell of it, she could tell she’d gone far too long without an oil change, but it wasn’t until she yanked- using all her body weight and strength- her dipstick out to find it bone dry that she realized her understatement. That didn’t bode well at all; at least she’d made it back home before anything too detrimental happened.

Getting it started that evening, however…

Dragging a hand down her face, she sighed heavily, the weight of everything sitting on her shoulders almost crushing and exhausting her purely through the circumstances alone. She didn’t have the luxury of wallowing in the frustration of too many bills and not enough money, though; her daughter was waiting. Summoning her focus, she marched up to her apartment, closing the door behind her softly. Her sister had some sort of early meeting today, meaning her girlfriend would be looking after Penny until she arrived and the slam of a door could be painful to her sensitive hearing.

Of course, she could never be silent enough to escape the notice of her daughter, though.

“Mom!”

“There’s my angel,” she said, a smile on her lips as she knelt down and gathered up her daughter in her arms, pressing a kiss to the top of Penny’s head. “Were you good for Aunt Blake?”

“Uh huh!” Little arms wrapped around her neck, giving her a fierce hug before Penny began to squirm, apparently ready to return to the ground. “Right, Aunt Blake? I was real good!”

“You absolutely were,” she said, coming out of the kitchen as the smell of freshly brewed coffee began to waft through the apartment. The Faunus had already changed into her work uniform, a simple black coverall with a white overall for her name on the right side of her chest. While she didn’t do any actual automotive work, the uniform seemed mandatory even for one who worked the counter. “Now go finish your breakfast.”

“Okay!” 

Scampering back to the dining room, they both kept pleasant expressions on their faces until she’d disappeared. However, once she’d gone, Winter leaned back against the door and stared down at her feet. “Thank you, Blake. I appreciate your help.”

“It’s no trouble, really.” Even though the words remained unsaid, she could hear the breath the Faunus took in preparation before letting it go. 

When she’d moved to Vale, Winter made it expressly clear that she didn’t want her decisions to impact Weiss in any way, despite her sister’s insistence that they could move in together. Weiss had her own life and while her help was invaluable, she’d imposed enough and would never be able to repay it; she’d given up and forsaken plenty in her life, but she still had her pride. Raising Penny herself was her decision and she wouldn’t put her sister in a position where she didn’t have a choice whether or not to help.

“You should probably get to work.” Winter winced, not wanting to ask but also highly aware of her reality. “Also, would it be possible for you to give me a ride to work tonight? I’m… not sure if my car will start.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Blake tilted her head, feline ears canted forward a moment before her expression sharpened. “I understand you prefer handling problems yourself but I literally work for an auto shop. If there’s something wrong with your car, I’m sure my bosses will let you use my employee discount.”

Pushing off the door, she moved towards the dining room- really, just a nook that fed into both the kitchen and living room, hardly big enough for the four person table that she owned, with its scratched table top and wobbly legs- and checked on Penny, who was doing very well in finishing off her cereal. She’d even drank all of her milk. That brought a small smile to her lips before she returned her attention to Blake and lowered her voice.

“There’s no oil left in the line; it’s all burned up. I’ll need at least five quarts and a new filter. But it’s not that expensive and I’ll go to the store while we’re out for our walk.”

“When are you going to give your car an oil change yourself, Winter?” Blake set her hands on her hips, a stance she’d adopted from Weiss for exactly this circumstance, it seemed. “I know you won’t accept money from us, we’ve both fought that battle with you already, but this is about your time. You hardly get four hours of sleep; are you going to sacrifice even more when there’s a perfectly logical solution staring you in the face?”

“And what is that?” Frustration colored her tone, conscious effort necessary to keep from raising her voice and alerting Penny to the argument. “I’ll not have you deceive your employers by saying it’s your car needing the oil change.”

“Fine, then let me go into work and tell them the situation. If they agree, you can meet me at the shop.” Crossing her arms over her chest, the Faunus’ ears twitched, a clear sign she was doing her best to hold in her frustration as well. “They’ll probably knock it out before we close up or first thing in the morning; either way, I’ll be your ride to and from work today and tomorrow. Weiss was going to watch Penny tonight anyway, so there’s nothing to worry about there.”

Part of her wanted to object on principle. So much of Weiss’ and Blake’s lives were dictated by her current financial position; it wasn’t fair to either of them but they refused to simply let her struggle in silence. “Ask. If your boss says no-”

“I’ll still give you a ride and we can pick up the oil on the way back in the morning,” the Faunus said, raising her hands in a placating gesture. “I’m not trying to force your hand, Winter, but you have to be reasonable. There’s no reason to force yourself into a bad position- or an even worse one.”

With a sigh, she nodded, heading into the kitchen by way of the dining room so she could press a kiss to Penny’s head in passing, smiling at her daughter while making herself a cup of coffee. Hopefully, they wouldn’t spend too much time expending a lot of energy today. “Say bye to Aunt Blake.”

“Bye bye Aunt Blake!” She jumped down from her chair, quickly running over for a goodbye hug which Blake returned.

“I’ll see you later, Penny.” Then, the Faunus collected up her bag and left, closing the door behind her for Winter to lock.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Can we draw today?”

Winter chuckled. “Of course we can, Sweetheart.” 

She took a sip of her coffee, silently sighing in relief. In the back of her mind, she noted that all the drawing and coloring they’d been doing would mean she’d need to stop by the store and get Penny more crayons. 

Ultimately, she just needed to sit down and reexamine her budget. Living paycheck to paycheck frustrated her greatly, of course, but that provided no excuse for failing to provide for her daughter.

---

Yang hit the buttons to open the garage doors while finishing off the last of her morning protein shake. They still had about an hour before the front office opened but she’d woken up a bit earlier than normal and opted to head into work so she could finish up that engine rebuild from the night before. Aside from the alternator they were waiting on, that meant they had a pretty clear schedule for the day, a string of simple fixes over the past few days giving them a bit of breathing room. On the one hand, a lot of small problems were quick to fix and quick to get paid for, but on the other, the bigger projects consumed more time but usually came with a higher price tag.

Tilting her head to either side to stretch out the muscles, she ducked into the garage office, setting down her protein shaker on her desk. Ruby would probably remind her to clean it up at some point, invoices littered across the top of it just below the picture frames she kept. A few fast food bags lay crumpled and shoved onto one corner because they’d forgotten to take out the trash two weeks in a row. She’d make sure to get it tonight.

By the time she made it back out to the garage, pulling her gloves on and setting her safety glasses in place across the bridge of her nose, Yang found she wasn’t the only one in the shop, and she had to raise a brow. “Blake?  You’re in early; I thought you were helping your sister-in-law.”

The Faunus offered a small smile and a shrug, ignoring the slight misnomer. “Well, I’d planned on having breakfast with my girlfriend before coming into work but… I kinda have a favor to ask and didn’t think it would be a good idea to be late.”

“What kinda favor?” Heading over to her workbench, she pulled out her tools from the nearby box and got to work on the engine rebuild.

“My girlfriend’s sister, she needs an oil change, bad.”

“How bad?”

“Bone dry.”

Immediately she winced, not looking forward to what sort of damage might’ve been done to the engine. “Yeesh. Yeah, tell her to bring it by, we’ll knock it out today. Not much of a favor.”

“Well, it might have to be tomorrow morning; she works the night shift and I’m going to be her ride to and from work.” Although she had her work to focus on, Yang could hear Blake moving around and preparing the auto shop to open for the day. “That is where the favor part comes in.”

“Helping a friend isn’t a favor; it’s being a friend.” Chuckling, she paused and made a motion with her hand. “Look, do what you need to do and the oil change is on the house, no worries.”

“That’s another thing; I can almost promise she’ll insist she pays something.”

“Well, it’s my shop, my rules, so she ain’t paying a dime.” Yang paused. “Or she’ll pay one dime, if she insists.”

“Can you fight that fight without getting me in trouble? It’s still my girlfriend’s sister we’re talking about.”

“Leave it to me, Blakey.” Doing the math in her head, she figured even a bone dry engine wouldn’t cause too much trouble. “Hell, if you wanna bring her in earlier, we don’t have that much going on. Probably have it done before she has to leave for work.”

“I’ll offer but that depends on whether or not Weiss is out of her meeting. She’s… got a busy day today.”

“That’s fine, just let me know; I’ll take care of it myself, okay?”

“You got it.”

Shaking her head, Yang got back to work, absently greeting her sister when Ruby came in a bit later. She got completely lost in the project as time passed and hardly registered Zwei coming to lay at her feet, having spent the night with her sister. Although she took the brunt of his care, they agreed to share him between their respective apartments, both wanting their independence after working side-by-side all day but also not willing to give up their dog.

Unsurprisingly, he never complained.

“Hey, Rubes?” She called out when she reached a stopping point.

“Yeah?”

Looking over her shoulder, she flashed a smile. “Remind me to give Blake hell later. It’s been two years; she needs to marry that girlfriend of hers.”

Her sister laughed. “Will do!”

---

Penny bent over the little desk Mom got her, working to furiously finish the drawing she’d started before Mom put them both down for a nap. Even though she should’ve probably slept, she didn’t feel tired, so she snuck out of bed earlier to work on her drawing a little more. Mom probably wouldn’t like that if she knew; naps were so Mom could sleep without worrying about what she was doing, but Penny always got back into bed before Mom woke up or one of her Aunts arrived. Then, she’d pretend to wake up while Mom got ready for work. One day, Mom would let her stay awake while she slept, but until then, Mom needed to sleep as much as she could, regardless if she felt tired. As long as Mom didn’t wake up to find her out of bed, she wouldn’t get in trouble.

The doorbell rang and Mom went to answer it, meaning she probably didn’t have much time left. She really wanted to finish this one before Mom went to work.

She could hear Aunt Weiss’ voice, which was weird because usually she wouldn’t be here this early, unless they were having dinner together. Oh, maybe this was one of those special occasions where Aunt Blake’s work let her go home early and she was on her way!

“Sweetheart?” Mom came back into the room, wearing her work clothes and kneeling down. “Mom has to go to work early today.”

That was exactly the opposite of what she’d hoped, turning to look up with pleading eyes. “But Mom!”

She felt bad immediately, seeing the way Mom’s expression saddened as she coaxed Penny into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart, but I have to drop my car off so it can get fixed. That means I have to leave early and I’ll be home late, but Aunt Weiss will watch over you, okay?” A kiss pressed against the side of her head and she tried not to cry. She didn’t like when Mom had to work more; she worked so much already. “Be good for Aunt Weiss.”

“I will.” Mom started to stand up but paused, obviously looking at the drawing. “It’s not done yet.”

“Can you tell me what is it?” Mom had that look in her eyes, the one that said she was a little bit worried but not in a way she’d be willing to talk about- at least not to her. Aunt Weiss would probably ask about it, though.

“It’s the house we’re going to get,” she said, pointing out the features proudly. “Here’s your room, and here’s my room, and Aunt Weiss and Aunt Blake have their own house over here, and we’re happy.”

Mom pointed to one of the other features. “What about here?”

“That’s the doghouse, ‘cause we’re going to have a dog one day, right Mom?” She’d seen a lot of dogs- people would walk them outside all the time- but she wasn’t allowed to get close. The only one she’d ever gotten to play with was Zwei, Yang’s nice dog, so she colored the dog house like that, black and white.

“One day. A big yard and a dog to play with, I promise.” Mom smiled and pressed another kiss to her forehead. “It’s a beautiful drawing; make sure you put it up on the fridge when it’s finished, okay?” 

“Okay. I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Sweetheart. Now, be good tonight and I’ll see you in the morning.” Standing up and wincing slightly, Mom left the room.

“Yes, Mom,” she replied, trying not to sound as sad as she felt. As much as she hoped they could have a house of their own one day, what she really wanted was her and Mom being able to stay home for a day. No work, no meetings, no waiting for someone to show up and ask her questions, just her and Mom.

And maybe a dog.

“Penny?” She looked up, trying to hide her frown away as her Aunt came into the room. However, Aunt Weiss always seemed to know when she was sad. “Come here. It’s okay.” Getting up from her desk, she went over and gave her Aunt a hug, feeling her fingers card through her hair soothingly. “You know Mom wishes she could be home more, right? She doesn’t want to leave you.”

“I know.” Penny hugged her Aunt even tighter.

Then, Aunt Weiss picked her up, rocking her gently while leaving the bedroom. “You know, when I was small, your Mom used to do this for me. We’ll curl up on the couch, watch cartoons, and in the morning, we’ll see about going for ice cream, the three of us.”

“Mom’s going to be tired, though.”

“Not if we meet her at the ice cream shop. Maybe Aunt Blake can join us, too.”

That brightened her mood slightly- at least enough that Aunt Weiss thought she was in favor of the plan. She still hoped one day Mom wouldn’t have to work but expected it to be a while yet before that dream could come true.

---

Yang cursed under her breath, leaning back from the engine and stretching her back. She’d just spent the better part of the past hour getting the rebuilt engine set back in place and hooking everything up properly and figured it’d be a good time for a break. Not only would her back thank her but she’d heard the jingle on the front door a few times, which meant they probably had a car or two waiting for something simple; with Blake handling the front office, Ruby had to do most of the parts running, which meant no one else was working on cars. Usually, they weren’t busy enough for it to be a problem, but business had picked up recently and she’d considered hiring a dedicated parts runner to keep up.

Grabbing the rag sticking out of her pocket, she started wiping her hands while striding towards the front office, whistling along to some pop song on the radio. All in all, a pretty good day; she’d knocked out a few inspections, oil changes, a tire rotation, installed a new muffler for a long time customer- while biting back the comment about how mufflers are supposed to make less noise, not that he intended for it of course- and almost had the engine rebuild done. In between running around, Ruby knocked out a few simple maintenance tickets, too. 

All in all, they were looking pretty good.

“Oh, hey, Rubes,” she said, pushing into the front office and casting a glance around. “Didn’t know you were- shit!”

Immediately, she dove behind the counter, flat on the ground, and crawled into the corner like she had barbed wire above her, drawing more than a curious glance from her sister.

“Yang, what are you doing?”

“Winter’s out there!”

“Who?”

“You remember, that lady with the kid I met in the park a few weeks ago? Her name was Winter- didn’t I tell you that?”

“No, actually, you didn’t, and you didn’t describe her beyond ‘really pretty and kinda terrifying when pissed’ which was all that seemed important at the time.” Ruby looked through the glass windows at the front of their shop. “And all I see are Blake and her girlfriend’s sister. At least, that’s who I assume is with her; Blake asked to go out to talk to her when she pulled up.”

“She hasn’t come in yet?”

“I don’t thinks so? I just got back from picking up that spoiler we ordered.” Silver eyes flicked up. “They’re both coming inside.”

“I’m not here!” Yang immediately tried to push herself up under the counter as best she could. She was going to chew Blake’s ears off after this; there’s no way the Faunus didn’t know who Yang was talking about, and suddenly that look she received afterwards made so much more sense, but no, of course she couldn’t give Yang a heads up, damnit.

Of course, there existed the possibility that, maybe, Winter wanted their paths to cross again, but she’d come to know her mischievous friend rather well by now and firmly believed Blake was up to no good.

“Hi, Blake!” Ruby waved, smiling bright as ever. “Is this the friend who needed the oil change?”

“Yeah, this is Weiss’ sister, Winter. Winter, this is Ruby, one of my bosses.” Oh, yeah, there was definitely a thread of ‘I know exactly what I’m doing’ in her voice.

“Nice to meet you,” the woman said, her voice sounding tight. “Thank you for giving Blake the time off to help me with this.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all!” Her sister leaned, not doing a good job of hiding her wince. “Is, uh, is that your car?”

“Yes. I’m aware it’s in need of maintenance but all I can afford right now is an oil change. Speaking of, what’s the projected cost for the oil and filter replacement?”

“Well, we do it at cost for employees, but Ya-”

“Would twenty suffice?” Before either employee could interject, she continued. “I’m not an employee; while I can accept a discount, I’ll not abuse your generosity.”

Yang cringed, already able to picture just how livid the woman must’ve been when the waitress brought her the bags of to-go food and told her the bill was already paid. This did not bode well.

“Uh, alright, we’ll, uh, settle you up tomorrow. We’ve got a spot, so it should be ready for pick up first thing.” Ruby accepted the keys and filled out a work order, asking a few more questions just for clarification purposes. “Hey, by the way, do you remember-” Alarm bells went off in her head as her hand shot out, lightly knocking against her sister’s ankle- enough to get her attention but not to leave a bruise, at least. “Ah! Uh, sorry, knee’s been bothering me recently. Do you remember what kind of oil you use? Synthetic or no?”

“Whichever’s cheapest.”

“Uh, right. Okay! And Blake’s taking you to work now, right?”

“Yeah, should be thirty minutes, depending on traffic,” Blake said. “Ready to go?”

“Of course.” Winter seemed to turn away from the counter. “Thank you again for this.”

“Oh, it’s no problem! And, Blake, mind looking over this order real quick? You might be able to grab the part on the way back.”

“Sure. I’ll meet you at the car.” The moment the door jingled, Yang started crawling her way out from under the counter but found herself looking up at one very smugly curious Faunus, who herself was leaning over to look down at her. “Really? You hid down there the whole time?”

“If someone had given a little warning, I would’ve hid in the back office!” Grumbling, she knelt behind the counter, not wanting to risk standing up quite yet. “What’s the idea, Blake? You knowshe said she didn’t want to see me again.”

“From her version of the story, she definitely didn’t say that; you offered it.” One brow rose before she leaned back, no longer laying across the countertop. “Anyway, I would’ve told you but you made it seem like you were going to forget the whole thing happened, so who am I to change your mind?”

“Bringing her here without any warning kinda says you’ve got an answer to that.” Yang scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. “Seriously, what gives?”

“Aside from the fact you two would actually make pretty good friends if you allowed it? Simple: my girlfriend’s sister needed an oil change and I work at an auto shop.” She shrugged. “How you two decide to handle the ‘it’s a small world’ thing is not my prerogative.” Her lips curled into a small smile. “Speaking of which, I have to get her to work now. Whether or not you ever talk to her, that’s on you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind!”

Although she'd remained silent on the whole situation thus far, something obviously bothered Ruby, something she wouldn't let go without remarking upon. “Uh, just… real quick, she doesn’t… let her daughter ride-”

“Oh, no, no one but Winter gets in that thing. It’s purely to get her to work and back; everywhere else, she walks.”

Yang raised a brow at her sister’s obvious relief, the door’s chime signalling Blake’s departure. “Let me know when they pull away.”

“Three, two, one- and you’re clear.”

Getting to her feet, she looked towards the parking lot prepared to ask which one belonged to Winter. However, given the options, she really didn’t have to ask. “What the fuck.”

“I’ve… seen worse.”

“Yeah, in a junkyard about to be scrapped.” She shook her head. “And even then, I’ve seen better.”

The body had large spots absolutely eaten away by rust. The doors and quarter panels were dented all to hell and the windshield had a crack all the way across it. Even at a distance, she could tell the rims were damaged and probably rusted as well, not to mention the absent grill. 

“Maybe it doesn’t look so bad under the hood?”

“I doubt that.” Snatching the keys, she went outside with her sister trailing a step or two behind. Popping the hood, both of them groaned. The timing belt looked like it was seconds away from snapping, what looked to be some manner of corrosion leaked from the battery, the whole thing smelled like burnt oil and probably coolant, and she could see where an improper attachment on the belt was rubbing what looked to be the radiator hose raw. “Holy shit.”

“She drives this?” Her sister ran a hand through her hair, the other perching on her shoulder. “This is- this is a rolling death trap.”

“Wait, you smell that?” Inhaling deeply, she got down on her knees and looked beneath the vehicle, cringing immediately. “Damnit, there’s a gas leak. It’s small, but it’s there, probably a hole in the line.” Sitting back on her heels, she drug a hand down her face. “Ruby, we can’t let her drive this thing away with only an oil change.”

“Yang, think about this; we could lose our license doing work that wasn’t approved.” Her sister furrowed her brows, lips pressing into a thin line. “I mean, I’m all for it, absolutely, but we gotta be smart about this.”

“Right, you’re right. Lightly used parts, give ‘em a grunge look so they won’t look too out of place.” She leaned towards the side, looking at the tires. Absolutely no treads. “Think we could sneak on some new tires?”

“Part of me says ‘not any I’d feel comfortable with’ and the other part says ‘anything’s better than those’.” Looking back at their shop, she sister started running everything through. “I might have an idea… but all this work-”

“Take my share to cover it; I’ve got a cushion,” she said, immediately banishing any considerations for the amount of lien they’d need to pull this off. “Whatever thought you’re having, run with it.”

“Let’s start copying down sizes; as soon as Blake gets back, I’m making a run, but I can make a few calls first.” A growl. “By the time I get back, though...”

“I’ll handle it.” She looked up at Ruby. “I promised Blake I’d do the work myself. We’ll be ready to rock by sunup.” Then, a laugh. “Would be great if we had a parts runner though, huh?”

“We’ve got someone coming in tomorrow morning for interview,” her sister replied, silently acknowledging that didn’t help them in the slightest at present.

“Well, let’s start moving; I’ll get this pulled into the second bay.” She got to her feet, dusting off her hands. “I think I see something on the front axle I want to take a better look at.”

“Don’t go overboard, remember-”

“Hey, remember who you’re talking to here!”

“The lady our customer met in a park, who kinda sorta bullied her into taking a bunch of food home for free?” Ruby raised a brow. “This is the same woman you hid under the counter from, remember?”

Ah, that was a point. “... right. Sneaky and subtle.”

“Who knows.” A grin. “Maybe we can turn her into a repeat customer, do a little bit at a time.”

Yang wasn’t so sure about that- mainly because she didn’t want to spend random days hiding under the counter of her own shop. Plus, they might be able to buy some time and maybe avoid a catastrophic failure, but they weren’t miracle workers.

---

Winter winced, leaning down to rub at her knee briefly. During that last move, something knocked against it- either a cart or a furniture box she hadn’t seen- and would leave a sizable bruise come tomorrow, but she couldn’t concern herself with that at present. She still had another two hours before quitting time and several more large furniture boxes to move. They had about ten more on the truck they were busy unloading and hopes to get the next one started before the following shift came to relieve them.

“Schnee!”

Straightening, she plastered on an indifferent expression before turning to face the team’s supervisor. “Yes, Sir?”

“For the last time, this isn’t the damn military,” he said, sighing while looking over his clipboard. “And, I’m afraid I have some bad news. They’re coming down pretty hard on us about the overtime, so we’re going to have to put you on a full forty, but nothing over that.”

For a moment, her heart skipped a beat in her chest. “Sir, with respect-”

“Listen, I know, this isn’t ideal for anybody.” To his credit, he looked genuinely upset having to inform her, rubbing at the back of his neck subconsciously. “You’re one of the hardest workers we’ve got on payroll, and I know you’ve got your little girl to think about, but it is what it is.”

“I understand,” she replied, nodding stiffly before moving to rejoin her team, their short break already over. Without the overtime, she’d be even more hard pressed to find ways to make ends meet. Although she’d have more time, her only option seemed to be finding a secondary source of income, and hope it fell into a similar time slot. That, and she’d likely have to dip into what little she’d managed to save up over the past five years.

Briefly, Penny’s drawing from earlier flashed in her mind, and the weight of the world bearing down on her seemed even heavier than before.

Yet, she couldn’t allow it to own her. No matter the trials ahead, she’d chosen her path and refused to back down. After she finished her shift, she’d ask Blake to help her look around for some work, perhaps pick up a few applications on the way to get her car.

---

Yang downed her upteenth cup of coffee, starting to feel a strange buzzing sensation in her fingertips as the overindulgence in caffeine promised one hell of a crash in a few hours. She could worry about that later; right now, she had the last touches to put on Winter’s car.

After pulling it into the garage and giving it a thorough inspection, she’d nearly lost her mind. The fact the whole thing hadn’t fallen apart or suffered a severe mechanical failure defied her knowledge, seemingly held together by bubblegum and hopes. Compiling the parts list alone took the better part of an hour, during which she’d knocked out the other customers they’d gotten- nothing major, good busy work for her hands- and put everything else off to the following morning. Then, she took what parts they had and got to work, replacing what she could and pulling out everything that they needed to find, allowing Ruby to put together a list.

Replacing the engine- with a more functional one, even if it looked about as old- took the better part of the night and replacing the gas line gave her a headache but she’d gotten most of the work done. Looking under the hood, it looked almost as bad as when they first popped it, but a trained eye could see the obvious improvements. Add to that a new oil filter and all she really had left was replacing all the fluids and trying to crank it. She had one shot to make this work; with sunrise on the horizon, she didn’t have an abundance of time for trouble shooting.

“Come on, baby,” she said, setting aside the coffee cup and wiping at the sweat on her face. “Let’s hear you roar.”

Grabbing the oil and a jug of coolant, she went about the final step with the constant thought that, as long as they didn’t get caught, they’d done some great work.

If they got caught, though, it might be her license on the line- she’d been sure to usher Blake and Ruby out of the garage without explaining further, just for plausible deniability purposes. As much as she hated playing the legal game, she wasn’t a fool.

Well, at least, not by her estimations.

---

On the way to the auto shop, Winter tried to focus on the positive side of things. Soon, she’d be back home, and Penny would greet her like she was the most important person in the world, and all the bad things would just… slide away.

“I’m sure I can ask for a day off soon, if you need some time-”

“Thank you, Blake, but this is already an imposition,” she said, biting back the anger her wounded pride sparked. “I’ll fill out the applications today and drop them tonight on my way into work. I’ll… find something.”

“Have you considered trying for something at the bank or-”

“I’m afraid I don’t have the luxury of looking for a job I want. Right now, I need a job as desperately as someone needs an employee.” Two fingers rubbed at her temple. “I just need to find that connection.”

“If you say so,” Blake replied, ceding the argument quickly. 

She felt a touch of remorse- the Faunus only ever tried to help, much like her sister- but neither could fix her many problems. While she took their suggestions to heart, the years spent in Vale looking for any manner of job that could pay her bills and provide her more time with Penny taught her that it was an endeavor that required more energy and time than she typically possessed. However, she would try again, on the off chance something had opened up.

Pulling up to the auto shop, she spotted her car sitting in the lot, in a different space than she’d parked it. Hopefully, that meant the work was completed and a quick payment meant she’d be well on her way home. If she had just a bit more luck, she might even get to spend another day drawing or watching cartoons.

Rubbing at her eyes, she entered the shop after Blake, once again finding the young woman she’d dealt with the day before. Idly, she wondered how many red undershirts a person could own, seeing as she definitely had on a slightly different shade than the day before; while the coveralls might be part of the shop’s uniform, the undershirt didn’t seem to be.

“Oh, hey Blake! And Winter!” Something about the woman’s smile seemed nervous as she retrieved a folder with the paperwork from the day before. “Long night?”

“You could say that.” Pulling out her wallet, she grabbed the twenty lien card she handed it over while accepting her keys back. “That’s what we agreed upon, correct?”

“Uh, well, I’d really rather charge you fifteen, if that’s okay.”

Summoning her willpower, she let out a short sigh. “Fine. Fifteen lien.”

“Great!”

“With a five lien tip.” She raised a brow. “That won’t be a problem, will it?”

“Uh, heh, no, I- I guess not.” Silver eyes looked away as she frowned- Ruby, that was her name. 

“Understand, I appreciate your… generosity.” Again, her pride tickled; a stubborn thing that refused to let her accept the help she obviously needed. At the same time, one could hardly blame her. “But I know this was a favor and I’ll not take advantage of that.”

“I get it.” Ruby smiled and shrugged. “Points for trying though, right?”

She gave a small smile in response. “Thank you again, both of you. I’ll see you later, Blake. I’ll be sure to give Weiss your love.”

Exiting the shop, Winter did her best to keep her mind engaged, not wanting exhaustion to make her careless on the drive home. The moment she turned over her car, however, she noticed something.

The air conditioner kicked on. She had to double check to be sure, blinking a few times and putting her hands over the vents. Neither the AC nor heat had worked since she’d gotten the damn thing. Why would it work now?

Getting out, she popped the hood and lifted it up, narrowing her eyes as she studied the components. She couldn’t be sure, but it all looked… different. A bit shinier, as if some parts were cleaned up, which made enough sense if someone spent a suitable time elbow deep in it… but it looked like more than that. She felt certain it didn’t look like this the morning before.

And then the obvious answer smacked her in the face.

Letting the hood fall shut, she turned around and marched back inside the auto shop, two sides warring within her mind. On the one hand, she’d been keenly aware her vehicle needed a fair amount of work and she was grateful the mechanic saw fit to do it. However, she couldn’t possiblyafford it, and if Blake had tried slipping one past her, she wouldn’t be accused to taking advantage of someone’s kindness. They’d already done enough to help her.

The moment she pulled the door open- sharply, causing the chime to sound out- she noticed the Faunus’ earnest confusion with her return. “Winter? Something wrong?”

“Bring Ruby back here, now,” she said, setting her hands on the counter and curling them into fists. 

She wasn’t angry, per se- it wasn’t that she valued her pride above her sense. Winter simply understood that those who helped her put themselves at a disadvantage and had neither the strength nor the patience to deal with a stranger potentially setting up a debt without her knowing. She’d spent far too much of her life being put in that position, being tricked into feeling like she owed something to someone other than herself- her loyalty, her time, her energy, her very life. Reclaiming it was the first step to finding freedom and she’d not make those mistakes again lightly.

Without Blake having to do much of anything, she could see Ruby take note of her return and hurry across the garage, plastering on a smile that seemed a touch too wide to be sincere as she opened the door. “Oh, uh, something wrong?”

“How much work did you do on my car?”

“Well, we did the oil change and replaced the filter.”

“And what else?” Her gaze flicked over to Blake, who suddenly stiffened and moved a bit away, as if absolving herself from whatever decisions her boss made. “I can tell a lot more work’s been done than I asked and I-”

Suddenly, she felt a small bit of pressure against her leg and looked down to find a dog swatting at her pants.

A very… familiar dog.

And suddenly, it all made sense.

“Hello, Zwei,” she said, reaching down to pet the dog’s head. Then, she rounded on Ruby. “Where is she?”

The woman looked like she might try to make an excuse for all of two seconds before sighing and hanging her head in defeat. “She’s in the garage office- but it wasn’t-”

Winter held up a finger, stopping all manner of excuses while stepping around the counter and heading into the garage. Finding the office didn’t pose too much of a problem, seeing as only one door seemed to lead to an area, and she opened it with every intention of getting to the bottom of the whole issue.

The words caught in her throat, however, when she found Yang- the same woman she’d met in the park a few weeks ago- slumped over the cluttered desk, soundly asleep and snoring softly. She had all manner of grease and oil on her face and arms, even some in her hair, and her coveralls were pulled down and tied off at her waist. The yellow tank top she wore clearly was clearly stained with drying sweat and dirty from work but it looked like Yang hardly had the energy to sit in the chair much less change, considering the cot a few feet away.

Then, blue eyes fell on the few photographs in frames. One was of a family, she assumed: mother with a soft, round face like Ruby’s and father with the same wild hair and wide grin as Yang, plus a little blonde girl and a baby swaddled in blankets, standing in front of a house out in the woods. Another of the same man but with younger versions of Yang and Ruby, their manner of dress clearly indicating the former had just graduated- either from high school or trade school, it was difficult to say. A third, the two sisters standing in front of the auto shop, their father nowhere to be seen.

“Because I was your kid!”

Silently, Winter stepped closer and, with all the care she could muster, picked Yang up from the chair. The woman hardly moved, obviously exhausted from her night of unexpected work, and that made it all the easier to lay her down on the cot and draw the thin, well worn blanket over her without rousing her from slumber.

They’d talked about it, briefly, during that morning, how Yang had grown up in a single parent household. She’d neglected to mention her father beyond that and never in the present tense. Winter hadn’t thought much of it until now.

Going over to the desk, she found a scrap of paper that seemed more or less unused and disposable and penned out a quick message, taking it with her as she returned to the front office, where both Ruby and Blake seemed nervous.

“She’s asleep,” Winter said as means of explanation, handing over the paper. “Give this to her when she awakens. And Blake?” Breathing in deeply, she let it out slowly. “Did you know?”

“I had a hunch,” the Faunus replied, crossing her arms over her chest. “Neither of you mentioned names and I didn’t clarify, but aside from the previous meeting, I didn't know anything.”

“Did she know?”

“She, uh, hid under the counter when you walked in.” Ruby offered with a weak smile. “She… reallythought you didn’t want to see her again.”

Reaching up, she rubbed at her temple. “Be sure you give her that. And thank you, for all the work done on my car. I know it needed some… serious repairs.” Her gaze snapped over to Blake. “Weisswill deal with you tonight.”

Winter turned, ready to head out of the shop without waiting for another word from either of them, but found herself nearly bumping into a redhead just an inch or two shorter than her. 

“Sorry!” Sparkling emerald eyes shone with sincerity as she stepped back. “I’m here for the interview.”

For a moment, her tired brain didn’t connect the dots, until she remembered her work uniform- a similar set of coveralls- closely mimicked that of the two employees and moved aside. “I believe she’s the one you want to talk to and… good luck.” She glanced back at the other two. “They take care of people here.”

Then, she left, intent only on getting home, seeing her daughter, and talking to her sister.

She didn’t plan on the Faunus getting in trouble, of course- obviously she’d kept the details vague for plausible deniability purposes- but she fully intended on having a serious conversation with Weiss about this. Penny would be willing to give them a bit of space to have that talk, hopefully, and they could discuss the whole situation. 

Because what bothered her the most about the whole ordeal was just… the warring sensations of constantly being in debt to Yang- this stranger she didn’t know beyond a few details- and the acknowledgement that the woman probably didn’t see it as such. A proper discussion to work out some manner of compensation would’ve been vastly preferable to driving away with so much unsaid but she wouldn’t interrupt much needed sleep for the purpose of mollifying her own pride.

Plus… she needed to see if her sister happened to have any sort of tips for making a home cooked meal.

---

Yang stretched her arms over her head, yawning while slipping out of the garage office. She’d need to thank Blake and Ruby; it must’ve been a chore moving her from the chair to the cot they kept for emergencies but her back appreciated it. Absently, she reached down to pat Zwei’s head while walking over to where her sister stood in front of a minivan, elbow deep in changing the timing belt.

“Hey, Rubes,” she said, chuckling slightly as her sister jumped. “Easy, killer. Just wanted to say thanks for moving me; that chair is not comfortable for sleeping.”

“Oh! Uh. So. I have some news. About that, specifically.” She raised a brow, confused by Ruby’s sudden nervousness. “I didn’t move you.”

“Blake-”

“Nope.”

“Then, who-”

“Winter did.” Fishing into one of her pockets, she pulled out a piece of paper even as the bottom dropped out of Yang’s stomach. “She noticed we did a bit more work on her car, came inside to interrogate me about it, recognized Zwei, and… went into the garage office. When she came back, she told me to give you this when you woke up.”

Hesitantly, she took the paper in her hands and read the tiny, neat cursive.

I owe you dinner. This is not optional. Call me.

And then a number.

“Oh, shit.” She ran a hand through her hair and winced. “Was she, uh… you know. Mad?”

“I… you know, it’s really hard to tell with her, but I don’t think so? She told Pyrrha we take care of people, so I’m pretty sure there’s no hard feelings.”

“Pyrrha?”

“Yeah, our, uh, new parts runner. Her interview was this morning, remember?”

“Oh, right. Sorry, brain’s a little scrambled.” Dragging a hand down her face, she let out a deep sigh. “Guess I have to call her… is Blake in trouble?”

Ruby winced. “Jury’s still out on that.”

“Great.” Shrugging, she looked at the piece of paper again. “Think I should call now or wait?”

“Blake said she usually wakes up in about an hour.”

“Wait it is.” Tucking it into her pocket, she looked around the garage. “Got something small I can do in the meantime?” 

“There’s an inspection waiting outside. Think you can grab it?”

“Done.” Anxiety lurked in the back of her mind but she realized there was nothing to do but wait.

Wait and hope.

[midoridragonuus]

< previous | compendium | next >

- x -

from: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co to: gabe69@schwartzind.co cc: maeharamahouji subject: hey

hey gabe can you log into siims? thanks

- Secretary and Head of Divisions, Ellie Schwartz

- x -

from: gabe69@schwartzind.co to: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co cc: subject: RE: hey

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- gabe bar owner. business guy. stud.

- x -

from: gabe69@schwartzind.co to: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co cc: subject: FWD: RE: hey

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- gabe bar owner. business guy. stud.

- x -

from: gabe69@schwartzind.co to: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co cc: subject: FWD: FWD: RE: hey

ok ok ill be right on dont b mad at me ily

- gabe bar owner. business guy. stud.

- x -

gabe69 has signed into the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: hello??? anyone here?? woo hoo????

schwartzellie has signed into the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: ellie! hey honeybuns. ive missed u whats ^

gabe69: ellie?

maeharamahouji has signed into the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: whats going on here

maeharamahouji has uploaded a file: sserver470.exe

maeharamahouji: hey gabe. can you test this for me? thanks. send me a report when you're done.

gabe69: what

maeharamahouji has signed out of the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: whats going on

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schwartzellie: Click the file, stupid.

schwartzellie has signed out of the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

gabe69: fuck

gabe69 has signed out of the Schwartz Ind. Internal Messaging System (SIIMS)

- x -

> initializing sserver470.exe > protocol and logs will be erased upon exit > "hope it helps. - m."

gabe69 has signed into SSERVER470

gabe69: what is this place?

schwartzellie: Oh thank the Gods.

gabe69: elliepop? what the entire fuck is going on?????

schwartzellie: Look. I couldn't talk to you sooner. I wanted to. I really did. I couldn't... I was afraid to contact you.

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schwartzellie: It's not you. It's who's listening. I'm pretty sure my office is bugged. My phone is too. I've had to be really careful with what I say in case it's distorted. I don't know how to explain it better than that.

gabe69: ellie i dont get what ur saying can u start at the top?

schwartzellie: Okay. Okay. Do you remember a few weeks ago when Carlos interrupted our dinner and told me it was an emergency?

gabe69: vaguely. i remember his smug ass ruining a nite w ur beautiful face ♥♥♥

schwartzellie: Right so, I went with him. He was silent through the whole walk to the archives.

gabe69: the archives?

schwartzellie: Yeah. Where we keep files on literally everyone and everything. You know. Contracts. Secret info? Well, we got stopped by security, so I know there's at least one witness out there that knows we entered the archives; that the whole thing really took place.

gabe69: what do u mean "took place" ???

schwartzellie: Shut up and let me type!

gabe69: k

schwartzellie: So we entered, and we walked into the middle of the room. I'm not sure if it was the exact middle or anything, but that's what it felt like neck deep in the rows of file cabinets and servers. Anyway, the archives are heavily guarded. I'm pretty shocked he had clearance but in hindsight, but also? Not really. I told you his files were a fucking mess and his permissions were probably redacted as well.

gabe69: uh huh

schwartzellie: There's cameras all over. Lasers. Devil's traps. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if any flat surface read DNA or heat signatures or something. Schwartz is really out-there about security. I mean, there's less than a handful of people who can get into the archives, and they're 99% accompanied by Schwartz herself.

gabe69: sounds high key

schwartzellie: It is. As far as I know, the only people with permissions to enter the archives are Schwartz, Irkalla, myself, and now... Carlos. It's under such heavy security that two people on shift have to watch it. One physically, and the other in a special cam room somewhere on site. Like... it's really guarded.

gabe69: and u 2 just waltzed in there huh?

schwartzellie: Yeah. And when we got to the middle, he just stood there and wouldn't look me in the eyes. He literally titled his head back and locked eyes with one of the, what I assume was, a camera. Stared into it the whole time we talked.

gabe69: what a fuckin weirdo. whatd he tell u babe?

schwartzellie: I don't.... I don't really remember. I was so weirded out by the whole experience... I remember getting goosebumps. My stomach hurt. I was feeling pretty nauseous and

gabe69: ok but it wasnt my food so

schwartzellie: Oh my Gods, I didn't say it was!

gabe69: just makin sure ;)

schwartzellie: Ugh. But...

gabe69: but?

schwartzellie: I remember staring at him really intense-like. Squinting and trying to figure out what his motive was. What he was saying. Like, his mouth was moving and words were coming out, but my brain couldn't figure out what they were! I even tried to remember later on, but none of the sounds or words I made felt right. I don't even remember leaving, or how I got back to my room... I slept with a diary that night in case I remembered anything in my sleep, but my dreams were blank. When I went to the security office, there was no record of us visiting the archives. And the guy on duty who stopped us outside the door? Gone. Vanished. I asked around and no one knew of anyone who matched that description ever working at SI. No one knew who I was talking about, and by then, his face was too blurry in my memory to ask again. After a few days of frustration, I asked Jade to help me. He reads lips, you know. So I tried to make the same movements I remembered Carlos making with his mouth, but Jade had no idea what I was trying to say. He said it was just gibberish.

gabe69: ellie this is fucking weird

schwartzellie: I know.

gabe69: so what ur telling me is that that dick took u 2 a place w heavy security did some mumbo jumbo magic shit that u cant remember and now ur phones being bugged and a guys missing???

schwartzellie: No, there's more to it than that. I think...

gabe69: ???

schwartzellie: So I tried to do some more digging about him, in hopes that it might.... I don't know... tell me something? Anything? But then more people disappeared.

gabe69: what do u mean? who disappeared?

schwartzellie: I... don't know.

gabe69: then how do u kno theyre gone??

schwartzellie: I have a list of employees on my desk for the monthly newsletter that have left the company. We publish goodbyes every month, but I don't remember any of them on this month's letter ever working here.

gabe69: well SI is a big company! surely a few slip by ur ever watchful eyes. u cant do everything doll

schwartzellie: No, but I sign every employment contract as Schwartz' witness. Even when they're mostly redacted. I've seen every person who enters this company, including business partners in different districts, contracted/affiliated help, and even have the names for people who work FOR our associates. But I don't know any of these names or faces.

gabe69: and ur sure they worked for SI

schwartzellie: The list is from Schwartz. I'm sure of that. But even she's been... off? There's something going on with her too. She won't reply to any non-related business mail.

gabe69: and ur surprised by that of all things?? ms unfeeling not talking about feelings?

schwartzellie: Well, no, but you don't know her, Gabe. It's like she's shutting down.

gabe69: uh huh

schwartzellie: With SI off the table, I told Wendy I had to look up something in Crowley's office, so I shadowed her to work. I wanted to check if maybe the city had those names on file, somewhere. They didn't.

gabe69: and?

schwartzellie: What they did have, though, was a blank space where those names SHOULD be. I don't think the person who was supposed to clean up got rid of the dividers.

gabe69: elliepop this is nuts like wacky pistachi kiddo! people fuck up on putting dividers in. it happens. i sometimes order double my stock on accident

schwartzellie: Okay, one? Wasteful. Two? I know I sound paranoid, okay? I know it. But something's going on. There's more, okay?

gabe69: more?

schwartzellie: Yeah.... After I left Crowley's office, Wendy stopped me on my way out. She asked if I found what I needed, and I told her I did. As she turned around to go back to work, I saw something around the corner. At first I thought it was a shadow. Maybe my eyes playing tricks on me. Shit happens, right? But I know someone was watching me.

gabe69: ellie

schwartzellie: No, listen! So I.... I didn't go straight home. I decided to take the bus, rather than get a cab, just in case. Better safe than sorry, right? And as I was waiting at the bus stop, I felt eyes on the back of my head.

gabe69: ellie....

schwartzellie: Gabe will you shut the fuck up? I know I sound crazy, but just let me finish. Please. You owe me this.

gabe69: ok elliecakes. im sorry :((

schwartzellie: I felt really antsy, rocking back and forth. I knew someone was watching me. I just knew it, okay? So I get on the next bus, not knowing where it was going. If someone was really following me, they probably wouldn't go somewhere random, right? Risk being seen by a lot of people? Turns out the next stop wasn't too far from Karen's, so I got off there. I went in, grabbed a latte, and sat down until my nerves returned to normal. I thought I was also being pretty ridiculous and letting weird events turn me into some sort of conspiracy theorist. Half way through my drink, I looked up and... there was nothing wrong. I didn't feel anyone looking. There were just some random people in there eating breakfast and drinking coffee. I was so relieved. Honestly, I felt so stupid.

gabe69: :( i love ur smarts

schwartzellie: So I paid my bill, and waited for the next bus. I rode back to SI, got off, and felt like a huge idiot for being so nervous. I was home! No reason to feel afraid when we have the best security in the District. I waved to Kat and sat in the lobby for a minute with weak knees. Like, I was just really relieved it was all in my head.

gabe69: that sounds good

schwartzellie: Until

gabe69: o

schwartzellie: I checked my phone for any alerts I might have missed while snooping, or trying to chill in Karen's. A few e-mails, a few texts, and then one weird notif from an iSpy app? But... I never installed anything like that. I checked my apps, but there wasn't one installed on the phone or the SD card. I started to get really freaked again. I mean, iSpy? Of all the alerts that could be the result of some virus or something... So I took the next elevator to the Tech Division. Mahouji was on shift, so I gave him my phone to look at.

gabe69: let me guess he found something

schwartzellie: He sure fucking did. He ran a scan while I was standing right there. The first one didn't pick up anything, but I insisted that there was something on it that I didn't put in there. After another unsuccessful scan, he ran his own with his.... I don't know. Whatever it is he works with. Personal code or program or something? I don't know. But he looked really disturbed. He fiddled with it, then downloaded an iSpy game from the app store.

gabe69: what

schwartzellie: Yeah, I was really confused too. He explained to me that it was probably just an advertisement for a new game that was mass spammed from a link I might have clicked and that, with the actual app in, he was able to turn off the notifications. But that's what he said, not what he showed me.

gabe69: what i dont get it

schwartzellie: While he was telling me all this and pointing my phone at me with his left hand, he pulled some paper and a pencil out of his own desk and wrote on it with his right hand. "Ellie, there's a nasty program on here. I don't know what it is, but I know it's not something anyone should tamper with. I don't even want to try to debug it. It has access to everything, including your cam and mic. Getting rid of the phone will only make whoever's watching suspicious. I recommend playing dumb while I investigate."

gabe69: holy shit

schwartzellie: I... I thanked him and left. I thought that it might just be a huge prank on me, but I don't think he's that kind of guy. I mean, we're not close friends or anything, but of all the people in this company? I think I can trust him.

gabe69: u sure u dont trust him just bc he validates w/e ur thinking is going on

schwartzellie: So you don't believe me?

gabe69: no elliecakes its not that. u kno im always on ur side. i just gotta play devils advocate yea???

schwartzellie: Yeah. Yeah. So.... Like.... I took the phone with me. I tried to keep it pointed away from me unless I had a message. I've been really jumpy and trying not to give too much info away in my emails or texts. I've tried changing my writing to kinda make it seem like it might not be me in case I disappear so people can figure out the dates things went wrong.

gabe69: ellie wtf nothings gonna happen 2 u. not when im around. i promise. u kno that.

schwartzellie: No, but-

gabe69: that y u emailed me the way u did earlier??

schwartzellie: Yeah, I wanted to leave a trail, okay? So anyone else who looked into it could tell something was up and I wasn't just making things up. And I thought that things were finally going back to normal, you know? I wanted things to be less weird, and they were, until earlier today.

gabe69: what happened??

schwartzellie: I was coming back to my office. I was thinking about finally getting back to my social life.

gabe69: so me

schwartzellie: Sure.

gabe69: :( cmon u love me

schwartzellie: Sure.

gabe69: ;*

schwartzellie: And on the way, I saw a guy standing in front of one of the windows in the hall. I didn't recognize him, so I asked him who he was. He didn't answer. I asked again, and still nothing. So I approached him from the side.

gabe69: ellie!

schwartzellie: I know it wasn't the smartest thing. Approaching some rando? But he was weird. Out of place weird. Because I know all of the employees. I know who has access to my floor. And this guy! Was just standing there! Looking out the window! I sent a text to security as a precaution, and then went to tap him on the shoulder. Then I blinked, and the window was broken. Alarms were going off. There was a woman screaming from below. The wind blew my hair out of place! I remember the tears coming down my face at the shock because what the fuck just happened?

gabe69: wtf i dont remember any alarm

schwartzellie: My legs gave out, and after a few seconds, I crawled to the window to look out. I was expecting to see the guy on the pavement below, you know? All bloody and broken and... yeah... But the window was fine.

gabe69: what

schwartzellie: The window! Was fine! It wasn't broken. There was no one below but regular day traffic! I was still on the floor, still with tears, but nothing happened? I checked my phone for the text I sent and it was in my drafts folder, saying "Message failed to send. Try again." I called the security office to ask for video of the hall, and got sent a video where I just walk by the window like nothing happened. Then I come back, sit down, and cry.

gabe69: ellie

schwartzellie: Gabe, please. Please just... I'm almost done.

gabe69: ok

schwartzellie: I called Mahouji and asked him to come pick me up from the hallway. He thought it was weird, because one? He was asleep. Two? We're not friends. Not really. And three? He's def. not security. So he was concerned.

gabe69: yea so am i y didnt u call me babe??

schwartzellie: Because when he got there, I showed him the video and told him that I must have not been paying attention because I was playing my iSpy app. He's smart enough to figure out the hidden meaning there. He asked if I needed to go to see a doctor in case I hurt anything falling down, but I told him that no, I'd be alright, but I did want to see you. Privately.

gabe69: oh hon hon hon baguette

schwartzellie: Can you be serious for one fucking second? Like, this is my life, Gabe!

gabe69: sorry go on

schwartzellie: Again, being the smart man he is,

gabe69: >:|

schwartzellie: he figured out what I meant. Told me that maybe it wouldn't be smart to go see someone if I was dizzy from the fall, and that I should message you instead using his computer.

gabe69: that y i had 2 click that weird file?

schwartzellie: Yeah. It's something he made to delete all records after we're done talking. It's safer that way. Because Gabe? I'm scared.

gabe69: ellie....

schwartzellie: I'm really scared. I don't know what to do now. Mahouji told me to try and back off. To forget the whole thing.

gabe69: suspicious

schwartzellie: No, I think he's really just concerned. He doesn't seem weird? Not like that hallway guy. Not like Carlos. I think he's worried. I think he knows there's something going on but I don't think he knows how weird it is. How twisted it is? There's something going on, Gabe, and it's so big. People are disappearing. Things are happening and not happening at the same time. Schwartz is off. I'm going crazy. There's something going on and someone who's not this deep in needs to know before I don't know anymore. Does that make sense?

gabe69: ellie where r u? u still in the tech div?

schwartzellie has signed out of SSERVER470

gabe69: fuck

gabe69 has signed out of SSERVER470

>initializing shut down of sserver470.exe >initializing self-deletion sequence >del470.exe in progress, authorization m confirm >ERROR >ERROR >ERROR >ERROR >ERROR >ERROR

- x -

from: gabe69@schwartzind.co to: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co cc: subject: HEY

um where are u elliepop? wanna get a coffee? nite cap? ;))

- gabe bar owner. business guy. stud.

- x -

from: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co to: gabe69@schwartzind.co cc: subject: RE: HEY

Downstairs at the cafeteria. Why? Wanna join? lol

- Secretary and Head of Divisions, Ellie Schwartz

- x -

from: schwartzellie@schwartzind.co to: gabe69@schwartzind.co cc: subject: RE: HEY

error

- Secretary and Head of Divisions, Ellie Schwartz

- x -

[wwoofcsa]

October 2018

So its been a crazy few weeks,

We got back from the burn, mikey, jake and i went camping with jordan rabin in big basin, south of san francsico. 

We had a beautiful experience, with deep reflecting and processing. We took some psychedelics and i came away with reevaluating my relationship with marijauana. I had some time to come to terms with the fact that this substance was no longer serving me and that i am taking some space from this relationship. I had some time to connect with jake and jordan, and mikey was able to process on his own, as he took the day to stay sober, and work on himself in a clear headed way. 

It was a beautiufl day of self and group exploration, and a very good transition period

We then dropped mikey and jake off at the airport, jordan and i got some good time to hang for a minute and then i went out to vipassana, headed down to hang out with avi in palo alto and relaxed a bit before the journey 

One night after spending a lovely day with avi, i went up to jordan edelheits house. In these few weeks in san fran, i had such an incredible opportunity to connect and grow my relationship with jordan. I feel like we really had time to sink in a bit more, and i truly feel that the bond between us is one of the more beautiful and healthier bonds ive had in my life. I have so much love with her, and so we have so much depth, that i feel like i was able to swim around in the pool of love with her. It was a similar feeling to my past “in love” experiences, but i noticed, that i had very little (or no) attatchement toward her. I had nothing i wanted from her, i had no expectations, and no desire for her to be a certain way. I was just able to share love with her, it was incredible. She is such a passionate, inspiring woman, and i was blessed to share space and time with her.

On that note, jordan met a man who was been running an event for the past 10 years in san francisco, called “you are going to die”. At this event, any one in the audience, has the stage for 5 minutes. They can perform whatever is on their heart, as long as it revolves around the idea of death. In this powerful emotional experience, people share songs, poems, short stories or anything else that expresses their connection to death. Some people share about the death of an experience, or an identity; some share about the death of a car, or a loved one. Some talk about their fear of death, some dress death up to be a beautiful woman and describe a dance they once had with this woman. There are countless beautiful 5 minute incriments. The goal of this event, is to foster vulnerability and intimacy around something that we all experience. It’s to create community through sharing our fears, joys and emotions.

Jordan had attended a few of these events and really vibed with the idea, so other than approaching the guy who ran it, and proposing they work together to expand the organization, she also developed a small, more intimate spin off of the event in her home. She was living in a moishe house (a jewish co-op) where her rent was subsidzed and in return she was required to facilitate a few events a month for young jews in the area. So she decided to run an incredible event, in which i had the pleasure of attending. The event was a similar format to “you are going to die” but the topic, instead of death, was love and sexuality. 

What an incredible night it was. It was a group of about 20-30 of the most beautiful people. People wrote and performed songs, shared poetry, told stories and shared themselves, in a small living room, off the panhandle in san francisco. I asked jordan if i could share part of one of the meditations i had been doing throughout this year. She seemed a little hesitant, as she didnt know what vibes i would bring and what crowd was coming that evening. As the evening started, jordan was supposed to start us off with a little poem but she was having some jitters. I, feeling very very nervous, knew that this was my opportunity to step up, and i did. 

“Hey, ive got a meditation to share to help everyone connect and calm down, and to set the tone of the evening, can i share?” i asked.

She smiled lovingly, and introduced me, and that was that. I had my five minutes, and the beautiful, sexy, intimate night began. I am so happy to have been able to frame the evening with safe and loving atmosphere. 

About a half hour in a girl came late, and asked jordan if we had all taken mdma because we all felt so connected hahaha

I cant even begin to express just how magical those beautiful beings were, how at home i felt, and how in tune with the universe i felt.

MY TRIP! Mikey bribes a federal official

From avi’s, maytal dropped me off at the airport and i was off.

Max and D were in java, indonesia, finishing up a vipassana and mikey and i were gonna meet them and start our travels together. Plot twistttt, after vipassana, mikey told me he was gonna be on standby for the next few days because he was getting a free flight from ika, his previous lady friend. Maya faya messaged me, telling me that i should come see her in bali for the last few days of her trip. I could meet her for a few days as she moved on to australia, and i started my journey. Because i didnt wanna chill in java alone, and a guy at my vipassana told me java didnt offer a great deal for backpackers, i decided to hang out with maya for a few days. We had a nice few afternoons together, we tripped acid on the beach, talked about life, and processed her trip. Mikey was supposed to arrive the day before she left and we were all gonna do a bit of hanging for old times sake. So mikey calls me and tells me that he cant fly in until the day that maya flys out but he may be able to land a few hours earlier so we can all chill for a minute or two. 

Maya and i are a bit bummed but, at least we got our time together. So i tell maya that ill drop her off at the airport and pick mikey up at the same time. This is the plan

BUT THEN!

Mikey calls me the morning of his arrival, and tells me that he landed in the singapore airport. All seemed well until he tried to get the airline to print out his ticket. They told him he wasnt allowed to get on the flight because he has a temporary passport and he wont be allowed to enter indonesia without a special visa prior to his landing. Hes freaking out a bit (completely valid) and were trying to figure out the best plan of action. The officials told him to go to the immigration office in singapore and take out a visa, which could take one to two weeks. FUCK

My thought process was that if could just get onto the plane, and land in bali, we could figure the rest out. It would be much harder to get rid of him once he was already in the country, and either way, it wasnt illegal for him to get on the flight. so the next step, was to figure out how to get him onto the flight

our game plan was as follows: 

-try to ask another flight attendant to get him a ticket (because they might not ask for his passport)

-if that didnt work, leave the airport and come back in and try and check in, as if he had been in singapore

-if that didnt work, find him a hostel, find the immigration office and get him a visa asap

Heres what happened

Mikey asked three other flight attendants, all of whom denied him of a ticket and now knew his face. 

Plan A-failed

So we moved to plan B, but not before figuring out plan C as a back up, because mikey was running out of internet time in the airport. So we found him a prospective hostel and found the quickest route to the immigration office just in case.

So mikey leaves the airport, and enters again. He does some shmoozing with the ticketing agent and GETS A FUCKING TICKET. 

Ok so now he has to go through security, and then get passed the flight attendants, who all denied him, and know what he looks like. He manages to slip through, (at this point he’s experiencing an immense amount of anxiety)  but then ten minutes before the flight, he finds out that the gate changed. So he runs across the airport and somehow sneaks by the attendants AGAIN!

He calls me and hes on the flight, thank fucking god. So i leave to drop off maya and i wait at the airport for mikey.

I get a message from mikey while im waiting for him at the airport telling me that shit went down and that if he makes it out, he has a crazy story for me.

I wait a bit longer, nervous that mikey may not appear. But then, like an angel decending from the heavens, mikey magnificently comes out, super suspiciously and finds me. Lets get out of here NOW, he says.

As we walk out towards the parking lot, he tells me part 2

PART 2

Mikeys on the plane, and the flight attendants (who previously denied mikey) stop the plane, get on, and start looking around for someone. They walk up to mikeys row, and look at the guy next to mikey, check his ticket again, and then leave the plane. The plane is about to start moving and then it stops again, the flight attendant comes BACK ON! Goes to the row where mikey is sitting, and CHECKS THE GUY AGAIN! All without noticing mikey sitting right next to him. She says its ok, and the plane takes off, thank god.

So mikey lands in indonesia, and here’s a voice recording of what happened when mikey landed….what a shit show

[askthealaskan]

OCT 16 2019

I woke up not knowing at first where I was. Boston. The answer came to me through a sleepy haze that only 4 hours of sleep brings. My plane was 2 hours late from my scheduled arrival at midnight and a ride to an affordable hotel an additional hour more. After a $50 cab ride I determined I needed a cheaper way back to the airport. So I asked the hotel, and checked with my phone, to find the best route. They both said catch the red train on the nearby MTA station. No problem I think to myself, Ill just catch a train. Twenty five minutes later a cab arrives. Is this guy the only cab in Boston I ask myself. It takes me awhile to realize I’m watching a species becoming extinct. Taxis are being “uberized.” I think to myself that I could be riding the last cab in Boston. We arrive safety to the station.

Ah the MTA. The station is humming and I feel like I’m back in a real city again. This must the MTA that Ive heard folk songs about the guy who never returned after getting on it.

I usually fly through these stations. I learned how in my backpacking years some 30 years ago before the internet was invented by Al Gore. Back then we had to carry guide books along to clue us into how each city’s system was set up. Still, we can have problems. My problem was since I was moving in, I was carrying all the luggage I was allowed by the airline to carry on the plane with me. I had two large bags each carrying just under the max weight level, and the two allowed hand carry bags. The killer was one of the hand carried items was small enough to qualify to fit as a hand carry, but it weighed as much as an anvil . I had devised a method of carry it all but it would take some organizing and a little time before initiating each stage of the trip.

There are two types of subway ticket gates in the world, one you grab the ticket back AFTER you pass through the gate and one when grab the ticket BEFORE you pass through the gate. Apparently in Boston its the later to the amusement of locals when out of towners try to pass through the gates with 4 bags at once without a ticket.

I refuse to be flustered I reorganize my luggage and instead adopt the New York attitude before I arrive at the platform. Im not sure what direction I need to go as a train pulls into the station. I quickly ask the guy next to me if the train is going toward South Station. I say it like Im going to “fire his ass” if he doesn’t give me an answer right now. It works and it is my train but not his. I scramble onboard with my bags in good order but take up two seats doing so. As the train gets closer to town the car fills up. Across from me the occupants watch me as I shift my bags around. They do it in the way big city people do - always avoiding direct eye contact but sneaking in glances when you seem to be not noticing. They are all women. One is black lady late 20’s and seems to be dressed for work someplace that requires uniforms. Next to her is a short older Vietnamese looking oriental woman sitting next to a young blonde white girl with a backpack. She soon reaches into her pack and grabs what looks like are lecture notes and is going over them with a high lighter ( do people still do that?) Standing next them is a young Japanese girl fashionably dressed with a handbag. She looks ready to do some serious damage to a credit card balance.

More and more get on the car and soon every seat is taken. As my train gets close to my station I begin to try to organize my burden in the only configuration that I have found that works. But that takes more time and space than a train stop allows. We arrive anyway and it is apparent I need help getting things off the train. The little Vietnamese lady speaks to me. Its obvious she doesn’t speak English but just as obvious she wants to help me. She offers to take one of the bags for me. I quickly evaluate my options and decide that I could probably catch her if she tried to take off with it. With her help Im able to get everything off the train. I start to thank her and retrieve my bag but she’s not done helping me. She takes off for the escalator looking back to see if I am following her. Nevermind that I had planned to use the elevator. I took off after her and up the escalator we went. When I reached the top she was just a little bit in front of me when I realized she was trying to take me to the airport train. She is thinking that’s where most people with luggage are going. I grab my bag and begin trying to communicate that to her while at the same time she is emphatically trying to explain in rapidly spoken Vietnamese that I needed to hurry. It becomes a bit of a scene and I hear a voice say “Can I help?” I turn around and a large nordic man with a beard looking like a New England Loster fisherman, however that’s supposed to look like, is standing there. It slows the Vietnamese Lady but doesn’t totally stop her. The fisherman explains to me where I need to go then hops on the train he was waiting for to come. The Vietnamese lady seems to have grasped my intended destination and takes me over to the elevator that I need to take me to the bus station. I thank her many times over and the door closes. Im free!

A friend recently told me I need to trust and let people help me. Today was reassurance that people are good and if you feel right about it, you should trust those instincts

Next its the three hour bus ride to Montpelier, the capital of Bernie Sanders land. I realize now that Boston is not the best place to fly into to get to where I’m going. Nothing really is. I booked the ticket, actually two because they limit bags to one per seat, before I left in case it sold out. No worries about that for this Wednesday departure . It appears this route is catered to students of Vermont University judging by the youthful faces hauling backpacks. A lady appears with a roster and checks for tickets. I fumble with pulling out my phone with the 12 digit ticket number. She grows impatient and waves me on board. It becomes apparent she has her own bus and is not the driver of this bus . The driver is beside her but he doesn’t speak. He has a scowling disposition that is clearly not suited for guest service. She’s obviously filling that role for him. I remember my days trying to recruit driver/guides to work the summers in Alaska. Very seldom did you find a candidate who could drive a 30 foot bus and have an engaging personality. My driver only mumbled stops. We took off for the three hour ride and it wasn’t until the bus arrived in Burlington that I should have gotten off a half an hour earlier at the park n ride. On the map It looked like the bus went right through MontPelier on the way to Burlington. Not so, it skirts the town. So I get off with the students and call my people at Country Camper. Its too late to pick up Morrison today so I tell them Ill catch the bus down in the morning. As I walk to a nearby hotel that wants to charge me a three figure price for a room, I pass by the transit station and see that there is a bus leaving for Montpelier in 20 minutes. I can get a cheaper room.So I haul my bags over to the bus stop trying not to look like the homeless person that I actually am. The bus driver pulls up and shakes his head at the load Ive got. He grudgingly allows me on the bus. He tells me that it wilI only be this one time. I assure him that it will never happen again. I pile my stuff in the front row of seats. The fare is $4 but I have no change. I show him a twenty Im about to put in the fare box. I tell him that since Im taking up four seats that I’ll pay for them. I try to explain that im a visitor and was not trying to disrupt his day. The next few stops he picks up regulars that catch his bus. We make the thirty minute drive over to Mountpelier and the bus empties most of its occupants at a park’n’ride. He ask me where Im getting off. I tell him Im not certain. He gets frustrated . I tell him im just trying to book a cheap hotel for the night and planned to get off where I could take a taxi to it. He says there is an Econolodge on his route and we head off. He takes right to the hotel and makes an unofficial stop in front of the hotel. He helps me to off load and wishes me well. The desk clerk who sees this comes down to help with the bags. I get to my room finaly and collapse.

People are basically good at heart and I am learning to accept their help.

In the morning Connor from Country Camper comes and picks me up. I have talked with many of the staff in the process of buying this rig. I know them by name, Conner, Dan, Thomas, Merwin, Krista. My arrival is highly anticipated, everyone wants to see the guy who came all the way from Alaska to buy the van. I try to explain that Alaska is far from anywhere else and if im going to fly it really makes no difference where Im going. The owner Lance pops out of his office to say hello and pretty soon I’ve drawn a crowd of curious employees and customers who want to see the Alaskan who came to Vermont to buy a camper van. When Im finally pulling out the staff has made their way outside to take pictures and wave goodbye. I have my Alaska License Plates on and looking good.

First stop is Walmart and Goodwill to get supplies. Lance has bought me a hotel room for the night. So I am staying I Downtown three blocks from the capitol. It reminds me of the Baranof hotel in the capital city I know so well. I don’t get back until 8pm and im starved. I try to google a close by place to eat. I head out but the place I chose cant be found. There is nothing else but this bistro. I enter and get seated. It becomes apparent that this place is out of my price range but im out of time. I order just the tomato soup. It was the best tomato soup I ever had.

The next day I drive out town with the goal of finding fall foliage. A storm hit the area and many leaves fell but the show was still good. I drive toward Green Mountain with the goal of generally heading toward Portland Maine. I follow my whims and that leads me to Darmouth before I turn to the north. I get tired so pull over on remote road and camp in my van for the first time. I have to admit I didn’t sleep well. The silence only accentuated the alien sounds that the coach makes. I ll get used to them.

In the morning I am up before the sun and outside early on the road. I see a spur road that the morning sun is lighting up nicely. I turn down it until I reach a good place to pull over and park. I take my camera and walk down the road and past some nice properties . I reach the end of the road when a car comes down the road with a yellow English lab sticking his head out of the window. The car stops and Im ready to explain myself and my intentions. No need to. Ive been approved by Blizzard Andy’s companion . Andy bounds from the car and offers to show me his property that I did not dare venture down without permission. He’s a carpenter and interested in my travel plans. I mention that I am looking for a builder for a piece of property that I own in Juneau. He is interested and we hit it off. Andy is in his mid thirties and unmarried. He hopes to build a house on his property one day. He was an extreme snowboarder on the circuit but one too many concussions ended his career. He gets around his home town of Romney New Hampshire and offered to take me around town. He takes me two a rock that has been split and craved by water. He waves at people he knows and they wave back. Its clear that he is well liked in the community. After touring and talking about everything from politics, travel, and even women we head for the ski resort in hopes of lunch and a possible ride up the lift for some potential great shots. Unfortunately the owners had closed the restaurant for a wedding. Back in town we went for lunch and Andy knows everyone. He introduces me and mentions my quest. They size me up like Im something the cat dragged in. Then Nick, the shop s owner, strides across the space between us to shake hands. Everyone else relaxes. Its clear that they are protective of Andy an want to be sure im not going to do him harm. But its clear by our banter that we share much already.

AFter lunch we visit Terry, a friend Andys my age who lives nearby. He is a graphic line artist and has a studio. When we arrive Terry is watching the last of a college football game featuring Terry’s alma mater Miami. We talk and Terry gets distracted from his game.It ends and we visit his studio. He teaches art at the local University and serves as the towns Bernie Sanders campaign chair. His wife pops her head into the room and Terry introduces me. She miles but then leaves without saying anything. Andy tells me she is battling Alhiemers disease. We don’t speak of it or of politics. We head out to his garage shop and Terry shoes me his work and how he makes his prints using plates. His work reminds me of a friend back home Evon Zerbets. After a while we leave but not after they share a bit of “Parkenson’s “ medication . Andy drops me off with Morrison . There is live folk music at the cafe that night but I regretfully decline the offer. In my younger days of trailing I would have been right there but “a man has to know his limitations” We say goodbye and exchange email . Hopefully Ii will see Andy again one day. In the morning I take afew shots down by the river that passes below Andy’s land then hit the road.

#AskTheAlaskan #morrison

[micallefsamantha-blog]

4 Different Ways to Purchase Broadway Tickets

After realizing an individual wants to see a musical on Broadway there is a planning process that an individual must go through which includes doing research on specific shows, picking the time and date of the viewing and last but not least the purchasing of the ticket. Contrary to popular belief, there are many different ways to obtain a ticket to a musical or play - some are easier than others.

1) The Box Office. An opportunity that not a lot of people are aware of is the way the theater sells tickets first hand. The box office at each theater offers the opportunity for individuals to purchase tickets.  Even though this seems like the best way to purchase the ticket for the show it may be one of the more costly ways to obtain a ticket. There are other ways to obtain tickets. Mitchell Broadwater - an outreach leader for the Straz Center for the Performing Arts in Tampa, Florida - is an avid fan of Broadway and has been to Manhattan multiple times. According to Mitchell, he purchases his tickets for the shows he sees through a concept called “rush ticketing.” This is when “customers wait outside the box office about 10-15 minutes before the show starts and the prices are slim to none,” Mitchell said.

2) Discount Booths. TKTS discount booths are a great and affordable way to obtain tickets to a Broadway show in New York. According to tdf.org, the TKTS booths offer “a wide array of Broadway and Off-Broadway musicals, plays, and dance productions on sale every day at 20% to 50% off regular prices,” (TDF). The booth’s most popular location is located under the red staircase in Times Square. A fun fact that not a lot of people know is that the discount booths support a nonprofit foundation that supports fine arts. This is ultimately one of the most resourceful ways to purchase a ticket as it is cheaper and also gives back to the future of the industry. If you can handle the lines that tend to be longer than the box office, these tickets are the most affordable.

3) Online vendors. Those who plan trips to New York already purchase their tickets before they even enter the city. Websites like Ticketmaster.com and Broadway.com are incredible resources to those seeking tickets before they get to Manhattan. Even though these ticket prices can be altered and inflated it’s a great way to secure seats before an individual even arrives in the city.

4) Sweepstakes and Contents. Shows have incredible opportunities to win tickets through a lottery system. Opportunities like contests and raffles happen in the Broadway industry where fans and lucky tourists have the chance to win seats at their favorite show. For example, the show Hamilton: An American Musical has an incredible opportunity for fans to win seats by donating just $10. Since Alexander Hamilton is one of our founding fathers and is pictured on the 10-dollar bill, the creators of the show decided it would be a cool opportunity for fans to potentially win front row seats to the show for only $10.

Overall the path to purchasing a ticket for a Broadway show can be different for everyone. Some may grab tickets two months before visiting Manhattan or may luckily win a seat to the newest hit show hours before the curtain opens. Either way, hopefully you've found resources in this post.

Photo Citation: TDF Stages: I Can't Believe I Missed This Show. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.tdf.org/stages/article/1227/i-cant-believe-i-missed-this-show

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[jamieloveharris]

four words.

“there’s no heartbeat today. i’m so sorry.” 

those four words. the weight they hold and the heartbreak they bring. you just don’t think it will happen to you, especially not two times in a row. that’s not how our God works right? he won’t put us through this again. what did we do to deserve this? why us? why can teenagers get pregnant on accident who don’t even want the baby and people who couldn’t want it more have to suffer like this? it just seems so unfair. i understand how unhealthy it is to think this way, but it’s also just the reality of the situation and the real thoughts you have. it’s hard to find a starting point to talk about this because emotionally, you’re all over the place. sadness, anger, confusion, unfairness, bitterness, selfish, devastated. it’s hard to compartmentalize how you feel when you feel so many different things all at once. you’re never taught how to deal with grief and honestly, i think we all deal with it very differently. and there’s not a right or wrong way.

let me back up and start from the beginning. writing has always been an outlet for me (not that I do it much, but in my head I’ve written a ton ;) ) . I don’t know that it’s the right time to share our story, but is there ever? i feel like miscarriage is a topic that’s not talked about enough because it’s just hard. what do you say to someone dealing with it? how do you deal with it if you’re the one going through it? why does it happen? why can’t they give me an answer? a lot of times i think as humans, we avoid hard discussions because it’s just easier. and i know i’m guilty of that a hundred times over but now that i’m in this position, it’s become more important to be open about it even if it’s hard and even if it’s very raw emotion. chris & i knew we wanted kids quickly after we got married. we weren’t trying super hard, but we weren’t not trying either. when we found on february 7th, i was in complete shock and even more excitement. waiting for him to get home that day truly felt like the longest day of my life because i had to keep it to myself alllll day long (like literally from about 9am until 8pm when he got home from a work event). we had plans to go to the Biltmore Estate the next day and all weekend we couldn’t stop talking about it. planning out our future, and how the rest of 2019 would look. there’s just no words to explain it. fast forward a week and all of our plans were shattered just that quick. Sorry for TMI, but I started bleeding and hurting, and didn’t stop. I knew what was happening right away. I went to the dr as soon as I could and it was true. we weren’t going to have a baby anymore. you truly feel like your heart is ripped right out of you. we only knew a WEEK, but the love you develop that quickly for a child you’ve never met cannot be explained. you just instinctively make every decision from the moment you find out to do what’s best for your child. then it’s gone. it was confirmed on valentines day and the next 5-7 days were just pure hell in all honesty. physically and emotionally. you don’t know what to say or do or think. you also realize how common it is, and for all the stories you’ve heard of those people you know, and those you don’t who have gone through this, you realize you are now one of them. i TRULY believe that unless you have actually gone through it you cannot understand. you can empathize, hurt for someone, be unbelievably sad and sorry for them, but you cant fully understand. and i say that from experience of having so many friends and/or family go through it. you say all the right things but it doesn’t help. yes, you know “it’ll be okay one day,” and “i’m so sorry, we’re thinking of you”, and you do appreciate all of the love and support you get but you’re also just so sad. 

fast forward again to march 22. we were close to closing on a new house and moving. i had not had a cycle yet, but that wasn’t abnormal since it can take your body 4-6 weeks to get back to “normal.” I had a pregnancy test in the closet from last time and just randomly took it. I really don’t know why and had exactly zero reasons to think i was pregnant. i put it down and started packing and kind of forgotten i had taken it. i walked back in and almost fell out on the floor. there was NO WAY. I mean, not a chance right? pregnant?!? I hadn’t even had a cycle and it had just been a few weeks. google, google, google. okay it can happen. what the WHAT? gosh we are so blessed, God knew i needed something to keep me going. these are the thoughts you have. again, i had to wait for chris to get home. i laid it on the table and when he looked at it, i actually got kind of upset because he thought i was lying and playing a joke on him (for reference: this would never be a funny joke to anyone, EVER. please dont try and do aprils fools jokes about pregnancy.) he’s like, we have to go to the store right now and buy 10 more tests, this can’t be right, it’s probably “leftover” from last time (lol, good try but no). so we went and it was true. i immediately called the dr and scheduled an appointment because I needed extra confirmation. and it was true, we were having a baby! due the week of thanksgiving. how THANKFUL are we? the holidays are amazing enough, but with a new baby? what a blessing. 

you go through a lot of anxiety after you come down from the high. every day you’re nervous. every day you think you’re going to lose it again. every time you go to the bathroom you pray you’re not bleeding. you want to enjoy it and soak it all up, but you also want to protect yourself from heartbreak again. i didn’t tell many people. i wouldn’t even let chris tell his mom or sister because I didn’t want to “jinx” it. sounds crazy and I get that, but you truly try and do anything you can to make sure it doesn’t happen again. you know that doesnt really prevent it but you just can’t help it. then it happens, and all of your worst fears come true again. it was last thursday afternoon and again, i started bleeding but just a little. and no pain. i was terrified and called the dr immediately and said I need to come in today. i don’t care what has to happen but i just need to know everything is okay. it wasn’t okay. i rushed there as quickly as I could. they tried to find the heartbeat on the doppler from the outside of my stomach but i was early still, almost 11 weeks, so she wasn’t concerned at all since you normally can’t hear it externally yet anyway. i saw a dr (not my normal one) - she checked me and said my cervix was completely closed and i was most likely completely fine, “sometimes pregnant women just bleed.” WHEW, WE’RE OKAY. then i went to ultrasound feeling pretty optimistic. i felt so silly rushing down there because i was totally fine right. they tried to find the baby from the outside but my uterus is tilted so it was blocking it. they did a vaginal ultrasound and then i heard the four words. i was in shock. I didn’t say anything for probably 30 seconds and even then, i just cried. she took me back to the drs office and we just cried together for a long time. i just couldn’t believe it was real. but we had to talk about next steps and I had to have a D&C. it was late in the afternoon and scheduling was gone for the day so i would have to wait until monday. i couldn’t imagine waiting 4 days knowing what was going on inside of me but i didn’t have a choice. i dont even remember driving the hour home. i just cried. first thing friday i called scheduling and thankfully they were able to get me in that afternoon. it sounds very harsh, but i couldn’t help but feeling like i just wanted it out of me. i couldnt deal with the pain i had last time all weekend. i couldnt deal with the mental side of it for 4 days. and in just a few hours, i’m getting wheeled back into surgery and 11 minutes later, there is no longer a baby inside of me. and then in another hour, we’re on the way home and it’s just back to normal life but no more holiday baby, and no more telling everyone the good news. mother’s day is this weekend, and we had planned to tell chris’ mom. we COULDNT WAIT. just the night before I miscarried, i got on etsy and ordered cute little “big cousin” shirts for my nieces and nephew.they came in today. i can’t bring myself to open them, so i just put them in the closet. i was starting to feel a little less anxious last week, because i was so close to being out of the first trimester. i just knew it was going to be okay this time and all that we had hoped for was going to happen. 

i wish this was a happy ending, inspiring post on why to not give up. i wish i could say the things like, “we now understand why we had to go through all of this pain,” or “all the heartbreak was worth it for our miracle”, and the list goes on. i’m not there. I don’t understand why. It doesn’t make sense to me right now. what I can say is that ONE DAY, i do think it will, and i do think we’ll be able to say those words but that day is not today. i think so often when people share their stories, it’s after they’re healed (as much as you can heal after something like this), and they have a happy story to report. i think it’s so important to understand there is an in between period as well and that it’s okay to not be okay in that time. i truly don’t know what’s next. i can’t say that we will ever be able to tell that happy story with certainty. i do hope & pray every day we can but the truth is that i don’t know. i’ve found myself almost feeling guilty for sharing this, because so many couples go through so much more and still may not have their miracle. so many have 10 miscarriages, and spend thousands and thousands on IVF, and their bodies are basically a needle cushion from all of the shots, and their life revolves around trying to create a life that they so badly want and here we are, having suffered through 2 miscarriages and i am writing like we’ve had it so bad.on the flip side, the truth is that a loss is a loss. whether it’s one baby when you were 6 weeks pregnant, or 8 babies when you were 12 weeks pregnant, the heartache is the same. i am so so sorry for all of those women who have gone through this, for those who are currently going through it, and for those who will go through it in the future. you are not alone. 

i was so nervous to reach out and share with people, even those i know had gone through it. i can’t explain how much it helps to just talk about it and allow someone to listen to you, even if they don’t have the words to comfort you or make it better. truthfully, nothing will make it better except maybe time. maybe this time next month i’ll be a little less sad, maybe i won’t cry when i think about it. but maybe i will - and that’s okay too. 

for whatever reason i also feel like it’s important for me to say that i’m choosing to share this because i hope that maybe just one person will read it, and feel encouraged to talk about what they’re going through or know that people do love you, and are always there for you even when you feel like you couldn’t be more alone. if there is someone experiencing what I have, I hope they’ll reach out and I hope that I can pay it forward to someone what so many have done for me during these last few months. i can say with 100% fact that you are truly not going through this by yourself and no one should ever have to. i could never put into words how thankful i am for my support system and those who have known about this journey and who have checked in on me everyday, and prayed for us, and cried with us. it does not go unnoticed. so if you have been a part of that this far - thank you :)