#i hate how grades create a competitive relationship between students

[ablondpanda]

Seriously, school as it currently exists is making it very difficult for kids to stay focused. Them not learning about media literacy is largely the fault of a broken education system that fails to make learning engaging, interesting or even desirable.

“we need to teach media literacy in schools” guys was i really the only person paying attention in english class bffr

[seungmvnnie]

Ravenclaw!Renjun x Slytherin!Reader 

word count; 2.7k words (longest one yet, my bias really do be showing)

warnings; *very* suggestive kissing, female reader, bullet point au, unlike the other fics in this series, this one is pretty much entirely based on the build up to the relationship and has little about the characters together, enemies to lovers au. also i researched year 7 DADA content for this to make it realistic so never say i dont put effort into my writing ahahaha

Huang Renjun had been your enemy the second you had stepped foot into your first class at Hogwarts

It was only natural; you both came to school, bright eyed and ready, with the expectation and aspiration to be top of the class

you had read through and memorized all the books on the provided reading list before you had even boarded the train - everyone thought you were made to be a ravenclaw which is why it was a bit of a shock when you were sorted into Slytherin, but you supposed it was your ambition

you had planned to become the youngest minister of magic there had ever been since you were 4

which meant going to Hogwarts, achieving the highest grades and being top of your year, becoming prefect, head girl and going on to work in the ministry and work your way up

little did you know, Renjun also had big plans

to ruin your perfect record

the very first lesson you had with him; you hadn’t even noticed the quiet ravenclaw who sat behind you

that was until the Professor asked a question and he had stated the answer so confidently, you almost flinched

you had answered the first few, which was why his voice interrupting was so shocking

you hadn’t even gotten the opportunity to open your mouth

you knew the answer of course, you just weren’t as quick as he was

which is why the next time your Professor asked a question, you made sure to get there first

it continued like that the whole lesson, a vicious back and forth game of who could answer first

you enjoyed some healthy competition and all, but it was like he was purposely trying to annoy you

the final straw was when you turned around in your seat at the end of the class to glare at him and he had that stupid smug smile on his face that you learnt to despise over the next few years

ever since then, everything was a competition to you two

and everyone at Hogwarts knew it

quidditch

house cup points

you name it, you’ve had an argument over it

neither of you even played quidditch but you would still argue with him about how Slytherin was better

you even once partook in a particularly heated game of wizard chess that ended with a flipped chess board and a few choice words being shouted at each other

there were many people that Renjun didn’t like but you were the only one that could make him flip a wizard chess board in rage (Although, if you asked him he would say you were the one who threw it)

wizard chess was banned after that

everyone hated you for it

this competition was helpful to an extent; you were top of the class in most classes, except the very, very few in which Renjun had beaten you

your days were spent in the library, cramming as much as you could, the desire to beat Renjun outweighing your need for sleep or basic human needs

needless to say he was the exact same but you both made sure to sit as far away from each other as humanely possible in the library

you could honestly say the best day of your life was when you realized that you had made prefect and he didn’t 

that got held over him for a good two years

then again, Renjun could also say that he beat you in your O.W.Ls, so it evened out 

when you started dating Han Jisung in 6th year, who was another Ravenclaw, you had him reporting back Renjun’s grades in the classes you weren’t in with him

you both competed for who had the least amount of detentions given - you had 2, which were both caused by the few times your competition had turned physical and you had shot a few jinxes at him, and Renjun had 5, two from his incident with you and the other 3, a result of his unfortunate friends 

which meant both of you had pretty much squeaky-clean records

you attributed your near perfect grades and having the best record in your year as the main reason why, the summer before seventh year, a neat little green pin with, ‘head girl,’ had arrived in the mail

of course, you were happy that your parents were proud of you, but you felt a vindictive joy knowing that you had something new to hold over Huang Renjun

That was until, you showed up on the first day to the first prefect meeting on the Hogwarts express and were met with the one and only Huang Renjun, the pin on his chest sat bright blue with ‘Head Boy,’ proudly etched into the metal

according to the pale look on his face, he hadn’t expected you to be Head Girl either

Professor Lee, the Headmaster, seemed to recognize his mistake almost immediately, considering he had two teenagers debating each other in his office before the school year had even started

“You can hardly expect me to work with him-”

“Of course, you can’t expect us to work together, I actually know what I’m doing-”

“Know what you’re doing? You weren’t even a prefect you poser-”

“You’re right I wasn’t, but I’m still smarter than you!”

the Headmaster had silenced you both with a wave of his hand, before you could retaliate with the fact that you’re beating him at potions, what does he mean, smarter than you?

“Okay. If you can’t work together, that’s fine. However, I expect one of you to make the mature, adult decision to step down from your position, not push the other one to resign.”

You looked at each other

there was no way either of you were going to do that

He stared at you both for a moment, before sitting down calmly at his desk

“I chose you both because of your maturity, exam results and impressive behavior these past 6 years. I would appreciate if you both put aside this feud and worked together for your student body.”

You stared at your hands, refusing to look at Renjun as shame gnawed at your chest

“Now, back to your dormitories.”

And so you were stuck with him

you thought that perhaps, Professor Lee’s words of wisdom would create a newfound maturity

but no, he was the exact same annoying little shit he was before

just this time, he had authority

As Head Boy and Head Girl, you were required to do prefect duty late at night together

which essentially meant you both had to walk around Hogwarts late at night on a Friday and Saturday and make sure no one was out of bed and wandering the castle when they shouldn’t be

you spent those nights in an awkward silence

you wished you could split up but you had to walk around together for, ‘safety reasons’

realistically you thought that schools were meant to be safe to walk around late at night by yourself but Hogwarts is just built different

as head boy and head girl you were given the most hectic two days of the week as well, which meant you had broken up more parties than you were comfortable to admit

you had even caught your boyfriend at a few parties, but you discreetly avoided giving him detentions

he couldn’t say anything though, he had let off Donghyuck and his girlfriend when you had found them making out

speaking of which

the amount of times you had caught a half-dressed couple attached to each other was just kind of gross

the amount of time you spent with Renjun was starting to defrost you both a little

not a lot though; just simple things like how you would ask him how he found the potions homework

sometimes it would spark an argument, but you could now have a conversation without some sort of spiteful remark

you kind of had to; otherwise you were just left in silence

your time spent together was usually uneventful

 until the weekend of valentine’s day

that Saturday was valentine’s day and the day of a hogsmeade trip

Jisung had asked you to go, but you had an important Herbology exam on Monday, not to mention you had to be alert for prefect duty so you couldn’t be running around Hogsmeade

he had seemed annoyed, but he had always known how much your future meant to you

it seemed Renjun had thought the same because the only people in the library, or it seemed the entire castle was the two of you

prefect duty that night was the least awkward it had ever been

he had even said something that had made you laugh

however the lack of awkward tension between the two of you counterbalanced with the awkwardness of having to check every single broom cupboard you happened across as, as you had expected, many people had been affected by valentine’s day

what you hadn’t expected though, was to spot your boyfriend leaving the Gryffindor common room, hair disheveled and his t-shirt on inside out

“Jisung? What are you doing out of bed at this time?”

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights 

“Sorry, the Gryffindors were throwing another party again. You know what they’re like,” he laughed awkwardly

your eyes flickered down to the red and purple bruises which littered his neck

“I didn’t put those there. You were cheating on me, weren’t you?” You asked so matter-of-factly, that Renjun was somewhat taken aback

you were using the voice you used to answer the teacher or argue with him

you didn’t seem emotional at all

Jisung looked like he wanted to pretend, but his face fell into a tired, yet annoyed look

“Can you blame me?”

You blinked at him

“Yeah.”

“Your whole life is dedicated to another person, (Y/N).” Jisung gestured to where Renjun stood

“No it’s not! Don’t be so ridiculous.” You had scoffed

“You didn’t go out with me today because you wanted to beat him in a test and be awake to spend time with him.”

“That’s not true!”

“You didn’t spend time with me on my birthday because you couldn’t miss a prefect meeting or Huang would hold it over you. You made me spy on him, and he tried to get me to spy on you too. Ever since dating you my life has just been this whirlwind of Huang. You do realize everyone in school thinks you’re in love with each other!”

He was shouting at this point

You looked at him, unable to argue with him this time, but the coldness in your eyes refused to budge.

“That doesn’t give you the excuse to cheat. I’m breaking up with you.”

He rolled his eyes

“Fine. At least now you can fuck Huang to your hearts content, considering the whole school is already betting on it.”

Before you even had time to react, Renjun had shot across the hallway, raising his fist and, with a sickening crunch, broke his nose

“Renjun!” 

You grabbed his arm, pulling him back before he could do anymore damage

“Go to the hospital wing, Jisung.” You instructed

He glared at the two of you before swinging on his heel and leaving

you and Renjun didn’t look at each other for the rest of the night

or the next few weeks after that

Jisung had told everyone what had happened

he kind of had to, the bruising around his eyes gave away the events of the previous night

the whole school were watching you and Renjun intently, now that they knew how he had punched Jisung for you, thinking that this was finally it

you were finally going to get together

but you didn’t interact at all

not even to correct each other in class

the truth was, both of you were deliberating your feelings for each other

Jisung was right

you had told yourself that everything you did was for your career path, but why then did you have such a hyper fixation on Renjun?

you did well in life without your on-going rivalry with the Ravenclaw

was it just petty stubbornness? or was Jisung right in thinking that it was because of some other reason?

You found yourself staring at him in some of your classes

he was good looking, there was no denying that

but did you like him like that?

Renjun had been having the same internal battle 

why did he suddenly find it in himself to punch Jisung in the face?

that was incredibly unlike him

just the way he had spoken about you and to you had made him so angry

the year flew in, and soon it was June and you still hadn’t spoken to each other

It wasn’t until your very last day doing prefect duty that the silence was broken by you

“How’d you think you do on your exams?”

he looked at you, shocked. You hadn’t spoken to him in 5 months.

“Uh- good. I go stuck on familial curses on the Defense paper, but I think I did okay in the end.”

“Oh, I wrote that the spell needs to be tied to the bloodline as opposed to the surname.”

“I thought it was that you had to tie it to the surname, because it doesn’t count as a blood curse?”

“No, because if the caster doesn’t understand familial relationships it doesn’t work, any first year could understand that.”

He went quiet for a moment before mumbling,

“I’m going to cast a goddamn familial curse on you in a moment.”

“Why are we like this?” you asked, stopping your walk to pause for a moment in the middle of the hallway

He stopped too, but he refused to look at you

“You started it...” He grumbled, staring down at his feet.

You rolled your eyes

“Why did you punch Jisung?” You asked blatantly

His head shot up in surprise

“Why did you have Jisung spying on me?” He challenged back, taking a step forward

“Why did you have Jisung spying on me?” you repeated

you both fell silent, and only then you realized how close you had gotten

you didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment

“If you’re going to kiss me, kiss me. Don’t pussy out now.” you uttered, your words sharp and cutting

“Oh, shut up.” He replied, rolling his eyes

“Make me.” You challenged

Grabbing your waist, he pulled you to his body, colliding your lips with his violently

you let out a muffled sound of surprise, not expecting him to follow through, but upon feeling the smile which had grown on his face at your shock, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you

you couldn’t let him win, not after the past how many years of sexual tension

your lips competed in mess of sloppy kisses, his hands moving down from your waist to your hips, pushing you against the wall in the hallway as yours moved to the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of his hair, using the way he gasped at the feeling to deepen the kiss, sliding your tongue into his mouth

you let out a shameful groan at the feeling of his body pressing against yours and almost whined when he pulled away

your lack of contact didn’t last long, as he attached his mouth to your neck, biting down sinfully

you threw your head back against the cool stone wall which felt deliciously cold against the the heat of Renjun to allow easier access to him as he continued to suck marks into your skin until-

“Renjun?”

You practically threw Renjun off of you, ignoring how erotic the sight of his mussed hair and swollen lips were

in front of you stood the two hufflepuff prefects, Zhong Chenle and a girl who’s name you could never remember, staring at you

the girl seemed shocked, but Chenle simply had raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk on his face

you had forgotten him and Renjun were friends

“You do know I’m going to have to give you both detention for making out in the hallway. By your rules.” 

Renjun rolled his eyes

“New rule. We’re the exception.”

[seiin-translations]

2.43 S1 Chapter 3.5 - The Dog’s View and the Giraffe’s View

5. READY FOR SUMMER

You think Aoki reads shonen manga?

This is the end of the first half of the first season, a.k.a the first tankobon volume. I’ll be going on a short hiatus for a few week before coming back.

Stan Odacchi!

Previous || Index || Next

Thrusting a CalorieMate bar into his mouth and holding a sports drink in his hand, when he rushed to the washroom near the gym, he suddenly ran into Aoki. Aoki took one look at Oda’s face and widened his eyes for a moment, then cautioned him with a disgusted look on his face.

“You should stop it with that…in my opinion.”

“Can’t be helped. I didn’t have the time to eat lunch or go to the washroom.”

The CalorieMate had sucked up his saliva and was sticking to his mouth. He put the box that still had some left and the bottle on top of the urinal and lined up next to Aoki.

Immediately after serving as an assistant referee on the courtside, he immediately jumped into his own team’s match, served as an assistant referee again on the same court as soon as it was over, plus he had to keep an eye on the progress of the entire boys’ volleyball division, support the participants and instruct the other members… Needless to say, he didn’t have time to take a lunch break, and he wasn’t allowed to go to the washroom since morning. Still, Oda only had to watch the gym, but Aoki was frequently pulled back by runners from the executive committee’s tent on top of that. This was the first time he was able to make time to talk to Aoki face to face.

It was finally the day of the Seiin Ballgame Festival. Luckily, the last few days were breaks in the rainy season, and the event was held on a day that didn’t interfere with outdoor events. In fact, the weather was so favorable that the temperature has reached July-like levels, and the executive committee has been repeatedly urging people to be careful about heat stroke.

Boys’ volleyball had managed finish four of their six group games without incident on the stage side of the gym. According to gossip, from the first group Team C, led by Aoki, had two wins, and from the second group Team F, led by Oda, had two wins, so it had already been decided that they would clash in the finals. The remaining two games would be elimination games that didn’t make it past the preliminaries, whether they win or lose, but since points were added depending on the points won, the overall winner was still unknown.

“It’d be interesting if we train Okuma to be a center.”

Aoki said next to him as he relieved himself. As ever, Aoki’s shoulder was at the corner of his vision.

“Okuma’s on the rugby team, isn’t he?”

“Well, it’s just an idea. If we had a burly guy like that, we’d look a bit stronger, right? Suemori-san said boys’ volleyball is soft.”

“It’s all about looks?”

“It’s important to look scary, you know?”

Well, when he puts it that way, it’s true that even though Aoki is the tallest guy in school, he’s more “long” than “big,” so he doesn’t look all that burly. He’s a center whose traits are height and dexterity. Okuma’s likely to be a different type of center than Aoki though…

“Well, enough about Okuma. I want Haijima more.”

“You’re pretty fixated on Haijima.”

“What kind of guy wouldn’t fall in love with that play? You’ve seen him play two games, didn’t you?”

“I know he’s good, but that’s not enough. It’d be nice to have a character who can speak up and get the team going, but he’s the complete opposite of that. Your team isn’t attracting any amateurs, right? For events like these, it’s better to have a noisy guy like Okuma.”

“So you want Okuma more than Haijima? Aren’t you being pretty cold to him?”

He couldn’t help but sound grumpy. He understood Aoki’s objective point of view. However, he got angry when he was told things objectively.

“Hmm? No.”

Aoki’s voice was light, and his shoulders turned slightly towards him.

“I’m talking about the ballgame tournament. The captain of this team is you, and if that’s what you want, then I won’t object to it and cooperate with you. If you want, I can find Haijima’s weakness so he can’t refuse no matter what.”

“I don’t need that kind of shady business.”

When he glared at him sideways, his shoulders shook with laughter. “It’s a joke.” It’s scary because this guy actually does those things that seem like a joke.

“We don’t need Haijima’s weakness for him to join. The problem might be Kuroba. He’s doing well so far today, but I don’t know what’ll happen when he comes face to face with Haijima in the finals.”

“Just have them match up. A feud between freshmen would be all cleared up if they just punch each other once hard and tell each other their true thoughts, don’t you think?”

Aoki said carefreely while lightly shaking his hips up and down, then tucked his thing back in and left the urinal.

In the case of you and me, we missed our chance to go through the process of punching each other and saying our true thoughts, and now we’re here… Oda watched the tall silhouette disappear across the label of his plastic bottle with a look like he wanted to say something.

Even though he and Aoki had their disagreements, they always ended up sidestepping the issue instead of getting into a serious quarrel. Even though Aoki would attack others with a sharp tongue as much as he wanted if necessary, but when it came to Oda, he would take a step back. He didn’t have to retract his opinion if there was something about Haijima’s acquisition he didn’t like. I’m not such a tyrant that I won’t respect the opinion of the vice captain.

Oda still wasn’t convinced about how he was chosen as captain in the first place. Whenever Aoki gave him his due because he was the captain, it stimulated a deep sense of inferiority within him.

When the grade before them retired, Aoki was to be appointed as the next captain. He had a mild and calm personality, able to keep an eye on the whole team. He was the natural choice.

At the same time, Oda was advised to switch from attacker to libero. The introduction of the libero system had opened up a place for people with short statures to play an active role. They could only substitute with a back row player and couldn’t participate in the spikes and blocks in the front row, but a receive specialist was an essential position in modern volleyball. It wasn’t that the previous captain had any ill intent, but rather that he knew that Oda poured more passion into volleyball than anyone else.

However, right with that timing, Aoki jumped into the student council. As though he was purposely creating a situation where Oda was compelled to be the captain—he couldn’t hold an important position on the student council and be a team captain for club activities at the same time. That was why Aoki couldn’t take on the role of captain. And under the current rules, the libero couldn’t in effect be the captain. In other words, as long as Oda had no choice but to be captain, he couldn’t switch to libero. Oda truly felt humiliated at being stripped of the attacker position. Because Aoki had sensed that.

What’s with you? Was that pity for me, who never grew taller? Or was it the freedom of a tall guy? He was angry. However, he was unable to lay bare such ugly emotions in front of Aoki and in the end, it didn’t turn into a serious conflict at the time. The comfortable relationship that they had since they started high school had somehow created a wall instead, and there was an atmosphere where it would be too awkward to share their feelings at this point.

Although Aoki was his best friend and a trustworthy partner who was more easy to get on with than anyone, he also harbored a strangely twisted gloominess towards him.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

It was awkward, so he purposely waited for Aoki to leave the washroom before he did so himself, but he saw a tall and narrow back staying in the corridor in front of the gym. From the other direction, Suemori appeared and suddenly spoke in a reproaching tone.

“Oda-senpai, why were you taking your time in the washroom? Please don’t make me wait here.”

“I don’t remember telling you to wait…You could have given me a shout if there’s anything to take care of.”

“I don’t want to go near the boys’ washroom.”

Oda nonchalantly put his hand behind him, feeling that the food and drinks he brought out from the washroom were dirty. I’ve been slightly thinking this for a while, but I wonder if Suemori hates men. But she seems to be able to talk to Kanno normally.

“So, what’s up?”

“The old teacher collapsed.”

Aoki answered in place of Suemori.

“What!?”

The advisor for the boys’ volleyball team was an elderly teacher, just as Aoki called him. They’ve heard that he was rehired on a part-time basis once he reached retirement age. Apparently, he used to play volleyball when he was a student, but the form of the game of volleyball should be quite different between then and now. He was like a fossil from his generation.

The advisor had been the referee for the entire competition without a break since this morning. Even they, as active high school students, were likely to collapse from the hectic bustle, so it would be even harder on the elderly.

It seemed that he was feeling dizzy from the heat due to the temperature in the gym having risen. They said it wasn’t serious, but the referee’s chair was now vacant. There were still three matches left. Either Oda or Aoki should be the referee for the remaining two games in the group league, but the problem was the finals where C and F would encounter each other. Since the other positions also had the bare minimum amount of people in them, there were no extra hands.

“Well, I’ll do it.”

Aoki said without missing a beat.

“Aren’t you competing?”

“I don’t mind. From the start, I prioritized administration, so if there’s not enough people, I was going to pull out and head over there, but…ah, there’d be a problem with me refereeing a match with my own team.”

“You say that, but there’s no other way. I want to give Kanno a chance to be in a game, and there’s no reason to bother pulling Kuroba out. On the contrary, isn’t the balance better now that we have two experienced people on each team?”

“Even if it was still three on two, we won’t lose. It’s not that…it’s no fun if you’re not gonna be playing.”

He felt like he was the only one being childish and having a tantrum at a time when everyone had to back each other up, and his voice got quieter and quieter. He couldn’t bear knowing that Aoki and Suemori were exchanging worried-looking glances over his head. But he still didn’t like Aoki’s quick and easy way of splitting them up. Was I the only one who was looking forward to the match…?

“If that’s the case, let’s make it a little more interesting.”

Aoki proposed in a light tone. When he looked up with suspicion in his eyes, Aoki had a pensive look on his face with a faint smile hovering at the corner of his mouth. He looked like that when he was about to plot something.

“In other words, you’re saying it’s boring because you’re not in it. In the first place, you say ‘take’, but do you even have their approval…?”

“I’ll persuade Okuma. Of course that’s if C wins. If F wins, you’ll persuade Haijima. However, if you lose, you’ll have to give up on Haijima once and for all. —Kuroba!”

Aoki suddenly yelled. Kuroba, who had suddenly been poking his head in from the metal doors on the gym side of the corridor, made a “Mrp” sound and ducked his head.

“You and Nagato both don’t want Haijima to join, right? You were listening in on our conversation just now. Since it’s like that, crush them to bits. Treat this match like a real game.”

***

The chief referee for the finals was Aoki. The assistant referee, the point displayer, and two linesmen were all members of the team who weren’t playing in the game. The other two linesman and the ball retriever were help from the girls’ team, including Suemori.

It was past four o’clock in the afternoon, but heat was coming down the roof, which had been scorched by the midday sun, and accumulated indoors. The windless court wasn’t just completely covered in heat, but also some kind of strangely oppressive atmosphere.

As the team members took their positions around the court, they sensed a strange tension in the court that went beyond a mere school event, and their expressions tightened. Only Aoki had his usual relaxed expression, and he wondered what he was scheming. The way the already-tall Aoki stood on the referee’s stand and looked down at the court already somewhat made it a “tower.”

There were some spectators gathered along the walls and on the stage. The gallery installed on the second floor was also overflowing with students in sportswear. He thought that since it coincided with the futsal and softball finals, the spectators would be drawn to that, but it seemed that a surprisingly large number of people had come just to watch. Across the partition net, on the other side of the court, the girls’ basketball game was being held. The random bouncing of a ball other than a volleyball was jarring to his ears—he might be getting a bit nervous himself. He shrugged his shoulders up and down to release the extra energy. He was already sweating just by standing.

Team F got the serve through rock-paper-scissors. Haijima would serve from the right back row, and Oda would start diagonally from him at the front left. The opposing Team C’s starting order had Kanno at the front right and Kuroba in the back left. With two volleyball veterans placed diagonally from each other and sandwiching and supporting the amateurs, both teams had the most suitable formation.

Kuroba, getting ready to receive, kept pulling at his T-shirt and wiping the sweat off his face an unusual number of times. He wondered if it was just his imagination that the movement of his legs seemed heavy. Even though he was always jumping around on the court even when there was no need for it, now his feet were clinging to the floor. He’s pretty nervous. The fact that the crowd was much bigger than for the group league no doubt played a role.

What are we going to do for this game? He felt like it had become a farce starring the boys’ volleyball team, but of course he wasn’t going to lose on purpose. We’re going for the win. It was out of the question to give up on getting Haijima because of a single loss in a in-school match. If that was the case, he shouldn’t have taken this bet, but it was also out of the question for Oda to not buy a fight that had been sold to him.

He called Haijima, who was heading for the service zone, to a stop and he turned around and asked him something.

“It’s okay now, right?”

“Yeah. Do it with all your power.”

He heard the sound of the safety lock inside Haijima disengaging. In the previous two games, Haijima was banned from doing jump serves. It would no longer be a game against an amateur team if he did so, and someone were to get hit in the face, they risked injury.

“…Eleven months.”

Haijima muttered in a low voice, cast his gaze to a point on the other side of the net and narrowed his eyes.

“Did he get a little better?”

He smiled faintly. The depths of his eyes were boiling, as though he was even taking in this heat and transforming it into a part of the heat within him. Stimulated by that fighting spirit, Oda also felt his entire body trembling.

Just you watch… He glared at Aoki, but couldn’t meet his gaze with Aoki on the referee’s chair.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Haijima’s jump serve even drew the eyes of the first-timer spectators. He placed the ball in his left hand, stretched his arm directly before him and stood still. A beat of dignified silence that took the watcher’s breath away. The moment he tossed the ball up high with a spin towards the ceiling, there was a big “Ooh.”

From his graceful and refined form, as though he was dancing in the air, he let loose a sharp jump serve. Contrary to the slickness of his form, Haijima’s serve was quite unpleasant. It had a unique twisting spin, partly due to him hitting left-handed, and the one who was receiving was under immense pressure. Drawing a curving arc, it accurately aimed for the area Kuroba, who was positioned in the back row, was guarding. Kuroba, who didn’t say he was good at serve receives, managed to hit it with his arms with a panicked look on his face. Fortunately, it went up high, so his teammate went right below it and waited. Who was going to hit it?

Was Kuroba, who received it, going to hit it himself?

“Right court!”

He was astounded by the instruction that came from the referee’s chair.

Oi, wait a minute!? Is that even allowed!?

The ball was set to Kanno on the right court. Oda jumped to block in surprise, but Kanno dexterously shifted the core of the impact and changed it to a straight spike from the angle of a cross-court hit. Tch, he’s good… The spike that was as sharp as a needle went through a narrow course.

While landing, he turned his head to follow the whereabouts of the ball. He thought it might have been on the border of the sideline, but Nagato the linesman didn’t hesitate to indicate that it was in. The person who enthusiastically shouted “Yes!” from outside the court in place of Kanno, who had landed soundlessly, was…Suemori. I get the feeling that there’s a lot of officials that are emotionally attached to the opponent’s side, but…?

Team C’s first point was engraved.

“Oi, why is the referee giving out instructions?”

He snapped at the referee’s chair.

“If there are any objections, you can write them down on the record sheet later.”  

Aoki said calmly, then quickly blew the whistle to prompt Team C to serve. There was no way they were going to prepare a record sheet used for official games for a ballgame tournament.

“Do it in one go, Haijima.”

He turned his back on the referee’s stand in indignation and said that aloud in order to calm himself down. However, Haijima only sullenly muttered, “You haven’t gotten any better at defense though,” and it seemed that he didn’t care about the noise around him or the subtle and complex actions of the staff members. The intensity of his concentration after entering the court was astonishing, but…he felt that he was slightly different from the previous two matches. Isn’t his mind too focused on one point?

At the end of where Haijima’s eyes were fixed on, Kuroba was, as ever, looking around restlessly while worrying about sweating profusely. The complete opposite of Haijima, his concentration was scattered. It was a face that screamed that Aoki’s implication was bad.

Team C, under Aoki’s instructions (which he still couldn’t wrap his mind around), had adopted the strategy of gathering the ball to Kanno. The scene where Kuroba hit didn’t return immediately, but even so, that scene came when it was 3-3 in the beginning, the rotation moved three at a time and Kuroba in the front right was directly facing Haijima in the front left over the net.

The first setting of this set came from Kanno to Kuroba.

At Haijima’s instructions, a triple block was set up. Oda in the back row prepared to back them up. “That’s a hell of a jump from that guy!?” The jumping power of Kuroba, who was high enough for his chest to comfortably show up over the net, made the crowd go wild. Completing the rotation of his shoulders by arching his whole body in midair, his body bent back and his arms swung out, as though releasing a nocked arrow. This dynamic spiking form, which could be called the splendor of volleyball, was the usual Kuroba, but…he’s not looking at the blockers at all. The ball didn’t pass over the net, getting caught on the white band and falling to Team C’s side.

Right when F-team took the lead with 4-3,

“Time out.”

The head referee requested a time-out.

Oi…I’ve never heard of this.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

“Why hasn’t he fixed that habit of his yet?”

Haijima turned on him as soon as they gathered courtside. Team C was making a circle around the tower that was Aoki. So why was the chief referee coming down from the referee’s stand and being on the bench of one team? After glaring at the other party who made his temple spasm, Oda turned back to Haijima.

“It already became solidified within him when he joined in April. There’s no problem in practice games, but he always gets like that when it’s a game with a lot of pressure, and to be honest, he’d be useless in an official match.”

For last year’s middle school prefecturals, Oda only went on the second day, so Kuroba, who apparently only participated on the first day, went unchecked. When he first joined the club, Oda was simply excited that an unexpected find had burst in. In fact, when he was used in the May practice match, he couldn’t find any problems. There was an inconsistent feeling to him, like he was developing, but his energetic play was pleasant to watch, and his strangely likeable character also helped to energize the whole team.

Although they haven’t acquired Haijima yet, he was confident that their attacker lineup was in good order with this, and then the prefectural tournament in the start of June—

The god of volleyball seemed to like secretly digging pitfalls.

An odd habit had begun to show up. He either failed his spikes entirely that got caught by the blocks and got himself out, or it got trapped by the net. It wasn’t like his form was messed up, but he couldn’t settle it. Even when he asked the person in question, he vaguely answered with a somewhat spaced-out expression, like his feet weren’t on the ground, that even he didn’t know why it was like that.

“…Why…”

Haijima grumbled, glaring at his feet with a gaze that could scorch through the floor.

“Stumbling over something like that…”

Haijima, that’s exactly how I feel about you, Oda thought. If you ask me, I’m jealous of the both of you, and just looking at you makes me irritated.

“Hey, we have to do something about him. It seems that it has something to do with Nagato and the second round of the middle school prefecturals?”

At this point, I should create a front that would make Haijima take a step closer to us, even forcibly. Thinking that, he tried inducing him.

“The middle school prefecturals…?”

Haijima raised his head and furrowed his brow.

“Sometimes players fail in their debut matches and suddenly fall to pieces.”

“They said it was my fault? But…”

His voice jumped up for an instant. He immediately closed his mouth sullenly and looked down again, fiddling with the taping on his fingers in front of his stomach. He thought of him as a player who didn’t have the habit of making other people read his mind, so that behavior was unexpected.

“What was I supposed to do…I was waiting, on that day…but, he was the one who didn’t come…”

He felt like the view before him was suddenly blocked by a thin, but hard, shell.

***

Even after the timeout, Kuroba’s play was lackluster. It would have been excusable if he had been blocked by the volleyball team members, but he was messing up because he was minding the blocker, who was an amateur ten centimeters shorter than him and just standing in front of him. Really, when he was good, he was great, but once his gears went out of whack, he quickly fell apart on his own. To be honest, he thought it was better for him to withdraw, but Aoki, Team C’s captain as well as the referee (this dual role was strange no matter how you look at it), didn’t seem like he was going to replace him.

He could see the frustration building up in even Haijima every time Kuroba made a mistake. Even so, the thing that differentiated Haijima from Kuroba was that his play never wavered, or rather, became frighteningly sharp. Not necessarily in a good sense, as he even covered his teammates’ minor mistakes all by himself and ended up excluding the amateurs. It felt like the sullen aura emanating from Haijima’s entire body made it seem as if the temperature on only their side of the court had dropped down a notch. It was out of the control of even Oda and he called to him less and less, and he thought that he could imagine the atmosphere in the second round of the prefectural tournament Nagato was talking about now.

His irritation towards the two who didn’t appreciate at all the value of the treasures that had been given them became stronger. If it were those two, there was no doubt that they would be able to stand at the forefront for the next ten or twenty years. Was it asking too much of freshmen to be less small-minded when they had such high physical potential? But, if he had those two’s potential, he definitely wouldn’t waste it. A super-ace who was trusted by his team for his solid decision-making ability as well as enlivening the team as a mental pillar…He knew that he couldn’t be that kind of player anymore, but he still dreamed to this day.

The fifteen-point system was shorter than he expected. When Haijima rotated from the back row to the front row and match-upped against Kuroba with the net between them again, they entered the final stage of the first set. Kuroba, obviously bending back, took a receiving stance like he was shrinking away from the net. While glaring at Kuroba’s disgraceful behavior with a gaze that could burn the net to ashes, it was perhaps at this moment that a circuit somewhere in Haijima’s mind snapped.

The serve was Oda’s. His thoughts were so focused on the two of them that his aim was a bit fuzzy, so the easy and half-hearted ball ended up falling right in the middle of the opponent’s court. He ran back to the court, fed up with himself as he thought that he might not be better than Kuroba today. That was when it happened.

“Hit the ball, Kuroba!”

Haijima shouted. His carrying voice suddenly pierced through the court where all talking had decreased, and everyone on his own team was startled.

As in the first round, the set flew from Kanno to Kuroba. Almost as if by spinal reflex, Kuroba suddenly did a run-up and leapt. Haijima blocked it perfectly.

However, this time as well, Kuroba’s spike didn’t even go over the net before it was blocked.

They both landed on the floor at the same time, the net between them. Right then,

“Stop screwing around!”

Haijima kicked the floor right after he yelled that, and then barged into the other court from under the net and tackled Kuroba. At this unbelievable situation, Oda froze in the receive stance, unable to move. It’s different for baseball game broadcasts, but I’ve never seen a brawl at a volleyball game, and I didn’t think he was the type to lose his temper like that!?

Everyone on his own team was dumbfounded, and everyone on the other team jumped out of the way, startled. After blowing Kuroba all the way to the center of the court, Haijima immediately went to straddle him and grabbed him up by the collar as Kuroba was hitting his back and coughing.

“Don’t run away! At least give one decent shot! If you’re this nervous for just a ballgame tournament, you’re not cut out for this, so just quit!”

He was yelling at him, looking like he was about to bite his nose off.

Kuroba’s back lifted off the floor.

“Hey…stop it, Haijima!”

Oda came to his senses and hurriedly passed under the net.

Right when he was about to pin Haijima’s arms behind his back, Kanno wedged himself in between them and said, “Senpai.” While keeping Oda back, Kanno looked at the referee’s stand. Oda widened his eyes and looked up at the stand, where he saw Aoki leaning against the top of the pole and grinning down at the two first-years on the floor.

“If they had just one big fist fight and told each other how they really felt…” Their conversation in the washroom flashed across his mind.

Hah!? No way, don’t tell me you were expecting this!?

Kuroba, who he thought was just going to let this happen, surprisingly grabbed Haijima’s wrist and yelled back.

“I’ve never been in a game where I had to lose successfully, and I don’t know how to do that, so of course I’m not cut out for this!”

“What are you talking about…”

Haijima was speechless. Kuroba, hesitating to say further, glared at Haijima at point-blank range as he moved his lips soundlessly. Then, he suddenly cast down his eyes, drew in his chin, and pressed his fist that was grabbing the front of Haijima’s chest to his forehead. It looked like a gesture of prayer.

“…’Cause, he said that you’d come back if we lost… Hey, isn’t this enough… Come back already…”

Come back already.

Those were words that Oda couldn’t think of or say in his position. They made him realize he didn’t need any pretense, and that all he needed was such clumsy, straightforward words.

Haijima, having lost his outlet for anger, just looked bewildered. His face, looking like those straightforward words didn’t penetrate his stubborn heart very well, made Oda irritated again.

“Hai…”

Right when he was about to interject, unable to keep quiet anymore,

Beep!

“Oh, you guys done yet? It looks like you guys pretty much said it all.”

A fake cough and Aoki’s voice, dampening the tension, came down from the referee’s stand.

“If that’s the case, the two of you, leave the court.”

He said, calmly holding up a red card.

“Fighting in volleyball is unheard of. And freshmen, don’t say that this is just a ballgame tournament, because this is a lively event that I worked myself to the bone to prepare for without sleeping. They really do need to pay me for this.”

***

After seeing the overall results at the administration tent with his own eyes, he returned to the gym. The gym, where the partition net was removed and cleanup had ended, was empty, but the net and poles still remained on only the stage-side court where the boys’ volleyball match had taken place. It was as if only the net wouldn’t admit that the match was over. The enthusiasm for the finals that had engulfed the court had now been cooled by the evening air, and he suddenly felt lonely.

There was a figure standing before the net. Like the net in front of them, it seemed like they still wanted to continue the match. Well, he was kicked off the court after doing one set, so I guess I can’t blame him for wanting to rampage more. The taping on his hands hanging down on the sides of his body still haven’t been undone yet.

“Haijima.”

Though his back reacted slightly to his call, he didn’t attempt to turn around. He goes at his own pace, eh. Oda smiled wryly as he approached him.

“They didn’t put the net away?”

“I asked them to leave it. I’ll put it away.”

Just like on the first day of team practice one week ago, Haijima lifted his chin and looked straight at the white band of the net. The sunlight shining through the window weakened and it dimmed considerably in the gym, but he could see a light in his eyes. A dazzling light that welled up within Haijima, as though he couldn’t contain his feelings of dissatisfaction.

“This wasn’t set up at 2.4?”

“Oh, we only raise it to 2.43 at the finals. ‘Cause it’s a game full of experienced players.”

With his hand on the net, stroking it sideways, Oda walked to the edge of the court and put his hand on the pole. Since the protective mat was removed, his palm touched the cold metal directly. The surface of the old bronze-colored pole was rough with copper rust stuck to it.

“We’re going to a family restaurant for the team’s afterparty, so meet us at the school gate at six-thirty. Don’t worry, us third-years are paying.”

“Please don’t count me in.”

He was given an annoyed reply. There are still not enough reasons? Oda sighed. Even though it’s so obvious that he’s longing to play volleyball, what exactly is holding him back? Is there something else besides the Monshiro Middle incident? This guy who’s fundamentally arrogant and seems to not care about other people’s feelings is clearly afraid that something is going to happen.

“You know, volleyball really is a sport that chooses people. Well, what you do in it depends on the person. It’s not a sport where you can carry the ball by yourself, and even if one person is skilled, you can’t win. I’ve told you this before. Remember it.”

“I got kicked in my ass.”

Since Haijima was pouting with a bitter look on his face, a laugh unintentionally slipped out of his mouth as he recalled it. He immediately stopped when Haijima was getting more and more sullen.

“There’s also the fact that the difference in our sizes frankly makes me cry. It’s a cruel story, isn’t it. No matter how hard a guy like me works, even if I think I won’t lose in athletic ability, skill, attitude, or anything, I just can’t beat a big guy in that one factor, height. Why did I fell for volleyball, of all things?”

Too many of the words people hurled at him came from his own mouth. When he explained it to people, they made doubtful faces and couldn’t sympathize with him very much, so these days he had learned to ignore that kind of talk. Aoki wouldn’t understand this much either. They might show their understanding for me, but they wouldn’t have any sympathy for me.

Haijima didn’t worry over his answer. He tilted his head, as though thinking,　This guy’s asking something weird, and stated it definitively. He said it like he was talking about the completely natural activities of living beings, like saying,　Don’t calves stand up after they’re born?

“Isn’t it because there’s nothing more interesting than volleyball?”

Aah…I knew it.

I had a feeling he’d say that. What’s for us, the very simple truth of the world.

I wanted words from someone other than me. I wanted someone to affirm to me that it’s okay for even someone like me to be devoted to something. If a man with much more talent than me, who possibly loves volleyball more than me, said that to me, then I can believe that the time I dedicated to volleyball was never a waste.

Is there anything in this world that is as interesting as this, that can make me as passionate as this? The exhilaration when you release a powerful spike. The feeling of solidarity when a brilliant combination play is executed. The sense of accomplishment when you persevere and break away a rally with your teammates. The feeling of conquest when you force the opponent’s ace to yield with a kill block. That intoxication, when your concentration is at its peak and the team’s hearts are one, and you can clearly see the ball’s trajectory as an unbroken line——

Something hot welled up in his throat, and he suddenly felt like crying. But, it was too early for that. He still hadn’t accomplished anything yet.

So he bared his teeth and smiled instead.

“That so? Well, for me, I love volleyball to death. It’s the only thing where I’m confident that I won’t lose to anyone.”

It was funny that Haijima countered with an extremely serious expression, “I won’t lose either.”

“…Haijima. To be honest, it was for my convenience that I wanted you to join. I’m a third year now. Even so, I want to play as many games on the court as possible, even if it’s just one game. Even if it’s just for a day…even just for a minute, just a second, I wanna play volleyball. Can I borrow your strength for that reason? All of your strength…”

Wouldn’t I get the opposite result with that way of talking? No, it’s fine. These words shouldn’t make Haijima build a wall around himself. He seems to be terribly stoic to me and everyone else, but he won’t reject someone who’s facing volleyball seriously. Ultimately, it wasn’t about whether you were skilled or not, or whether you were tall or short. Whether you are serious about volleyball or not—that was the only line Haijima drew.

That’s why there was no reason to hesitate to step in. I’m holding the key to the door.

He really felt like he was gripping a small key in his right hand. Of course, when he opened his palm, there was no key actually there. However, he turned to Haijima and held out his hand as though to show it to him.

“Won’t you believe in me, Haijima?”

Haijima was silent for a while, staring at Oda’s hand with downcast eyes. He loosened his tied lips.

“…Spring Inter-High.”

A whisper slipped from his mouth.

“…You’re serious about going there, I see. A weak team that has never won a proper game within the prefecture is aiming for it, thinking they can seriously go there. The 2.43 meter net is for that reason, I see.”

Those eyes with a sharpness that seemed to pierce through anything before them were directed towards Oda’s face. He was surprised that something he only mentioned briefly a week ago seemed to have remained in Haijima’s mind. However, he was also convinced that just showed how strong his feelings were. By all rights, he shouldn’t be the kind of athlete who was stuck smouldering in a place like this.

He wasn’t saying it in a way that was making fun of him. On the contrary, if he was the one who poked fun at him even slightly or was ambiguous in his answer, he would without a doubt slap his hand away on the spot.

Neither deception nor half-hearted seriousness was allowed in front of this guy.

“Yeah. Now, all the actors are in place. I seriously believe that this year’s Seiin will definitely become a team that can go to Nationals.”

Oda also looked back into Haijima’s eyes with a piercing gaze and answered.

If you take this hand, I will have to meet your expectations with all my power. I’ll repeat it again with force in order to convey that resolve. There’s no need for complicated reasons. I’m sure that only straightforward words would reach his heart.

“I want you to believe in me. Lend me all of your strength.”

***

“Why the hell are you smiling? Did Haijima say he was going to join?”

Aoki jeered at him when he stopped by the administration tent. Am I smiling? Oda wondered, patting his cheeks. He might be.

“Who knows. Well, he’ll be coming to the next practice, won’t he?”

“Hoo. Personally, I don’t like it, but well, that’s good I guess.”

Aoki said that in a twisted and unstraightforward way. Oda, while wondering in astonishment, Weren’t you the one who set this up?, dragged a free folding chair over and sat diagonally across from Aoki. He leaned over the long table, thrusted his face at him and lowered his face, as though it was an interrogation in a detective drama.

“So, from when and how much of it all was within your calculations? Since you brought up that betting match in front of Kuroba, right? Since you stirred me up by saying you were more interested in Okuma than Haijima? No way, you’re not gonna say you were the one who arranged for Haijima to be in volleyball, are you? I don’t think it’s possible, but does that mean the ballgame tournament itself is a huge charade…”

“I must be the world’s greatest swindler then. You’re giving me too much credit. Originally, I planned to have Team F win the championship, and I wanted to go to the lodging house on the refreshing highlands and getting Haijima while we’re at it…that was all I was thinking. Well, the dream of the highlands lodging house is completely gone now. I really did want to go there.”

All but one of the administration tents that were lined up with their eaves side by side in a corner of the first sports ground were dismantled, and the lower grade members of the executive committee were clearing away the steel frames and sheets while bickering noisily. All of their voices had a listlessness to them, like they had finished burning, and they didn’t sound grating to his ears. Rather, the noise soaked pleasantly into his tired body.

On the grounds, members of the baseball club were doing somersaults. The clock tower behind the back net displayed the time of 6:15. The brightness of the sky dimmed, and grey clouds started to appear. According to the forecast, apparently it was still going to be clear during the day, but the rainy season was going to return during the night. There was the scent of approaching rain. The warm wind, which contained moisture, made his arms and body sticky again after his sweat had finally receded.

The uncoated paper with the overall results for today was posted on the tent’s support. If he thought that there was more enthusiasm about this year’s championship than last year, there was apparently a secret prize that was going to be given to the supreme general of the winning team. The contributor was the executive committee—of course Aoki was the one who was holding the wallet. That prize was the group accommodation at a lodging house on a highland area in the prefecture for summer vacation. It was a form of taking advantage of the fact that the captains of the major sports clubs were spread out across each of the third year classes and stirring up the competition between each team.

In the boys’ volleyball division, Oda’s Team F defeated Team C to win the championship. The referee Aoki’s blatant support for Team C in the first half was camouflage, and after ejecting the two first-years, he devoted himself to making fair and impartial judgements in the second half—or that was how it seemed. Skillfully weaving in a few advantageous judgements for Team F, he manipulated the outcome. He’s a crook through and through…but since it’s a school event, I can just barely forgive him, but if he pulled this kind of thing somewhere else, I’ll be done with him.

However, they didn’t perform so well in the other events, and in the end, Team F had to settle for second place overall. The guesthouse on the highlands was to be given over to another club.

“Aaah, I guess we’ll have to do it at school this summer too. It’ll be harsh without air conditioning though.”

“You know, you’re pretty practical even though you don’t look it…”

“Dunno what you mean by not looking practical, but I’ll accept the compliment. Well, the things you can get with cheap tricks aren’t that important, and there are plenty of things you can’t get...” a loud yawn slipped out from his wide mouth.

“Are you going to the after party? The first and second-years worked hard today, so we gotta thank them.”

“Sorry, but I’ll have to pass. I don’t mind splitting the money in half. I didn’t sleep for three days to finish up preparations.”

“Three days? And yet you managed to get in two games.”

“It’d be tough to do three games. When the old teacher collapsed, I thought in my head, ‘I’m saved.’”

He leaned back deeply on his folding chair, causing it to creak, and when he bent his neck and tilted it left and right, there was a cracking sound. Though he wondered if it was okay to speak that way about an elderly person, it seemed that after he rested in the infirmary for nearly an hour, he had readily recovered and went along with the teachers to their after-party, so perhaps it was okay for Aoki to say that, considering all his toil.

During this ball game tournament, which included preparations, while Oda was just saying he wanted Haijima like a spoiled brat, just how hard was Aoki working, even using his influence, for the sake of the whole team? When it came to Haijima, even though he wasn’t supposed to have agreed to it, he considered Oda’s feelings and took action like it was a matter of course. It had completely slipped from his mind, but it was time to think about summer training camps.

Since they knocked on the door of the boys’ volleyball club in April two years ago, he had helped him one-sidedly until now. The prodigy who had student council duties, and who on top of that could get accepted to Kyoto University, probably had any number of things he could do besides volleyball, unlike Oda. He felt a deep sense of guilt that because he invited him that day—because they were “Aoki” and “Oda”, an unexpected intrusion ended up coming into Aoki’s life.

“Ah, hey…thanks for everything…”

It was too embarrassing to say it now after two years, and he couldn’t look him in the eyes. He was grateful for the gap between their lines of sight right then. Every time he was covered for, it only deepened his own sense of inferiority, and he had never thanked him face-to-face until now.

Good grief, it’s not just my outside, I’m also tiny and worthless on the inside.

“But, sorry…you’re going to have to go along with my selfishness for just a little longer.”

His debt would increase even more in the future. It seemed that Aoki won’t be able to concentrate on his exams for a while yet.

“…That’s just like you.”

Aoki mumbled to himself, his head still turned away. From Oda’s position, he could only see his chin moving slightly, and he had no idea what expression he had on his face.

“You’re giving me too much credit. I’m feeling guilty now. Playing volleyball with you is what I want to do right now, and I’m not doing it unwillingly. I don’t need to be thanked at all. I’ve been saying this since before, but me not liking Haijima is completely my personal feelings, and I’m the one who’s just being selfish. I don’t really care about going to university or not, and I don’t mind if you want me to lower my rank so we can go to the same place…I’m basically just driven by my ulterior motives.”

“Ulterior motives?”

There was the sound of water drops hitting the roof of the tent. The people working outside the tent looked up at the sky and exclaimed, “It’s starting to rain?”

“…You don’t have to understand.”

Aoki raised his head slowly, like a giraffe stretching its neck to find leaves that were just right, and stifled another yawn. Then, he turned towards him and lifted the edge of his mouth. 

“Let’s go to Spring Inter-High. I’ll follow you until the end.”

For Oda, that thin, ironic smile was more reliable and trustworthy than anything. 

The prefectural preliminaries would start at the end of September, two months later. If they won there, his retirement would be extended until the final representative deciding match in November. And if they managed to win the representative deciding match, then it would be until the nationals in January——. Just one game more. Just a day, a minute, a second longer. In order to delay the “end” just a little bit longer, they third-years would clumsily make every effort with all their ability.

When the rainy season ended, their final summer would arrive. There was no doubt that that summer would be like a condensed version of the rest of their lives after graduation. His doubts about his career path cleared up. He would put all he had into everything he could do and wanted to do right now. He didn’t care if the next few decades would be the rest of his life. Even if he burned out here and had nothing left within him, he wouldn’t regret it now.

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[flowerspecial]

Enemy To Lover - High School Edition- Part 1

JB

So JB would be one of those people who everyone thinks is quite cool, but also a little bit scary. JB just has this very strong silent hero vibe about him. Everyone would either want to be him, or date him. He wouldn't say much in lessons, or in general, but he was never short of attention. You on the other hand, would be the opposite. For every introvert quality that JB possessed, you had the equal and opposite extrovert quality. You two were the same level of friendship and popularity, you just kinda got to where you are quite differently. At first JB could not stand your loud and boisterous personality, he didn't understand why you felt the need to shout about everything. You couldn't understand why JB had to be so moody all the time, like Jesus Christ lighten up a little bit. Therefore, when you two were in the same room, which sadly for you two was very often, because your friendship grouped often joined together, you couldn't stand it. It's not so much that you two would be mean to each other directly, it's more that you two would just avoid each other completely. You would stand at opposite sides of the room, and you would only talk to each other if it was absolutely necessary.  Maybe you two would be a little bit passive aggressive towards each other. If you were being particularly loud, you would notice that JB would roll his eyes. “Be careful, if you roll your eyes like that they might fall out of your head.” You would sneer at him. And when he is seemingly not joining in with the conversation, you would not so quietly mutter under your breath, “why come along if you aren't going to talk to anyone?” “Just because you need to shout everything to understand your own thoughts, doesn't mean that we all do.”

Mark

So Mark was always the loner kid, he just generally preferred to hang on his own than in any sort of group. But because of this, he had this delinquency aura hanging over him. Every teacher dreaded having him in their class, in fear that he is somehow going to be disruptive. No student wanted to sit with him either, his reputation precedes him too much. Sadly, that includes yourself. You were a hardworking student, always wanting to get everything done on time, not wanting to rock the boat at all. So students like Mark, who had little care for other people’s education, really annoyed you. If they didn't want to be in the class that's fine, they should just leave. But don't sit at the back and disrupt everyone else just because you are bored, that isn't fair on anyone. Just to make matters worse, because he had this bad boy reputation going on, it also made him appear very attractive to most of the female population in school, and some of the male population. Thanks to that, in every lesson you shared, there was always some random girl sitting next to Mark, trying to work her way in there. So all you could hear for the entire lesson was their shameless flirting. Eventually, a teacher grew bored of this and decided to reassign seating, and unfortunately Mark was going to be sat next to you. “Are you serious? I don't want to sit next to Mark. Give me anyone else.” “Well I don't want to sit next to you either.” Mark would retaliate. “This is the new seating plan, and this is final, now sit down.” You and Mark would begrudgingly sit down next to each other. What infuriated you further was now you were sitting nearer to the back, which obviously was not the best place if you actually wanted to get any learning done. “Well this is going to be a fantastic year.” You would say sarcastically.

Jackson

Let me tell you something, the relationship between you and Jackson was turbulent to say the least. Jackson was easily the most well known and the most like boy around school. He was also the star player in whatever sports team your school was famous for. This boy literally ruled the school, well almost ruled the school. You, on the other hand, were head cheerleader. You also were very well known and very popular around school. Everyone told you that you and Jackson should get together, you would make one hell of a power couple. But in real life, you two hated each other. You both hated the idea of having competition for the school’s affection, everyone’s eyes should be on you not him. Jackson would always tease you about being a cheerleader, because you have to go to all of his games and stand on the sidelines. “How does it feel knowing that people aren't actually here to support you? That you are just a little filler, some light entertainment before the real talent comes on the stage.” “How does it feel knowing that we have won more competitions than your team could ever imagine? At least my team is on top of it's game, whereas yours… well… at least you are trying.” Honestly you could cut the tension between you two with a knife, and it had no signs of letting up. Well, that was until prom season came around. Your brilliant cheerleader friends had the idea of setting everyone up with a member of Jackson’s team, and it was only natural that they decided to put you and Jackson together. “Why the hell am I going with him? We have this mutual feeling of hate for each other!” “Because you two look amazing together and seriously, all this tension is just pent up sexual frustration. So you two are going together, end of.”

Jinyoung

You had high ambitions at school, basically you just wanted to get the best grades possible so you could leave this town and never look back. It's not that you hated your home or anything, you just knew that there was more to this world than what was inside of the school grounds. You worked relentlessly in order to get the best grades and the best application colleges have ever seen. You were determined to get top of your class in everything, and any extra curricular activity you did, you were equally determined to succeed in that also. However, there was one small snag that was stopping you from achieving your ambitions, and that little snag was called Jinyoung. You and Jinyoung had been in the same school and the same class since you started school, and both of you were determined to be the best. It was just a constant ongoing competition between you two, and it was apparent to everyone. Your peers would always joke that there was absolutely no point even attempting to get first or second in class, because those two ranks were permanently reserved for you and Jinyoung. But the order of the ranks, well, that came down to the day. Every test you did, both of you were eager to find out the other’s score. Whoever managed to come out on top would always make a comment, you two had been fighting too long for the top position to not gloat when you achieved it. Because Jinyoung was your main competition, you resented him fiercely. You didn't have anything against him personally, but you hated that there was someone always in the way of you achieving your goal. Every night, you would revise for hours, wondering if Jinyoung is doing the same. As the time came for university applications, well, that was when the worst of both of you came out.

Youngjae

You never understood those people who genuinely liked school, like seriously what was fun about it? For you, it was just a place of fake people, backstabbers, and people who create drama for fun. You had never been one for having a lot of friends, but that was always your choice. Why be friends with people who are going to leave you the second you are no longer of use to them? Who needs that kind of stress? You had made this decision quite early on in your school career, so you were pretty well known for having no friends. Sadly, this only made matters worse for you. Because you had no friends, people had a habit of spreading absolute rubbish about you. You had more myths surrounding you than bigfoot. It was fair to say that school life for you was not easy, and you resented anyone who walked around campus with a smile on their face. There was one person in particular that particularly got on your nerves, Youngjae. Every time you saw him, he had this smile plastered onto his face. He was always around his face, laughing and telling jokes. You aren't stupid, you knew that you resented him out of jealousy, but he still annoyed you. Unfortunately, you shared a lot of classes, so there wasn't really a chance to be able to ignore him. You always tried to sit at opposite sides of the classroom, and always in front of him. That way you couldn't be tempted to turn around and see that annoyingly adorable smile of his. “So class, today we will start our partner presentations, and yes, I have assigned the partners.” The whole class groaned, awaiting to see if their presentation was about to be a complete disaster or heaven on earth. Obviously as luck would have it, you ended up with Youngjae. Fantastic… that was just what you needed.

Bambam

They always say that the first lottery you ever play in is your birth, some people are born into high society, and some people are born on the bread line. Thankfully you never had to experience true suffering, you and your family always worked hard to make sure there was food on the table. Of course it was hard that you had to try and juggle school and working part time jobs. Of course it was hard that you always had to buy school uniforms second hand, and if they ever needed repairs you would have to sew it yourself and hope for the best. Of course it was hard that you could never afford to go on any school trips, so you felt like your school life was lacking in some way. What made matters worse was that you attended a very elite school, full of trust fund kids who have never had to lift a finger for anything. You were the school’s token scholarship kid, your intelligence saw you a fully paid scholarship and your parents practically forced you to go. Not all of your classmates are as bad as each other, there were a few nice ones. But there was one group in particular that really got your blood boiling. Think of them as the group from Gossip Girl, but ten times more rich and ten times worse. At the top of the hierarchy, was Bambam. Bambam was the richest boy in the school, and god did he make sure everyone knew it. He also pushed the limits with how much he could customise his uniform, just to show off whatever designer he has just bought. And seriously, who brings caviar for lunch? You tried to stay away from Bambam as much as possible, he wasn't someone that you wanted to get on the wrong side of. You were happy being invisible, you were happy with absolutely no one knowing your name. Well, life has a cruel sense of irony, doesn't it?

Yugyeom

School really wasn't how the movies portrayed it, in good ways and bad. One of the main ways that school was not like how it is in the movies was that you were not constantly surrounded by a group of amazing friends. In actual fact, you were somewhat of a loner. It was not that you tried to be a loner, you didn't intend on avoiding people. You just could never seem to make friends that would stick around. Eventually you just stopped trying to make friends, and learned how to be happy on your own. It wasn't the best of school lives. You had always dreamed of having a big social circle, going to parties, having sleepovers etc. But it seemed like this just was not in the cards for you. The good thing though was you were never really picked on for being a loner, people just tended to leave you alone all together. Except for this one group of boys, and bloody hell were they mean to you. You never really understood exactly what it was that you did to upset them, but they seemed determined to get their revenge. At the top of this little group, was Yugyeom. A boy who seemed so nice to everyone else, god he had more friends than you have had hot dinners. But to you, he was the devil. If you had to walk past him, he would either knock whatever it was that you was carrying, or trip you up so he could watch you fall flat on your face. The torment became so much that you would try to avoid Yugyeom at all costs. If that meant walking the long way round to your lesson and being late, then so be it. You liked to seek refuge in the music department, getting lost in the music was always like a form of therapy to you. One day, you spent a couple of your free periods in the large room, playing the piano. Once you had finished your piece, you heard a round of applause coming from the door.

💕Does anyone want the second part to this? 💕

[ksmithhanke]

finding my calling as a teacher and creating my own teaching philosophy

Beginnings 

I grew up in a suburb of Washington, D.C. and went to a series of large public schools from K-12. My educational experience was competitive and cutthroat; I pulled more all-nighters junior year of high school than I did all throughout college. By the time I got to Swarthmore, I was burnt out and ready to reject the type of education that had gotten me there. I had always planned to major in biology, get through undergrad, and go to medical school where I would pursue a career in pediatric medicine. My burnout started to cloud my dreams of going to medical school as I imagined the years of competitive schooling I had in my future if I wanted to fulfill this dream. I chose Swarthmore in an attempt to break free of the type of academic competition that caused my burnout in the first place, so why was I about to commit myself to the same type of schooling I had come to hate? As my passion for medicine waned, I was left without the identity I had built for myself through my dedication to this idealized life plan. I was totally lost on where to go from there, I didn't even know how to go about rebuilding a new future. 

In this moment, I found myself seeking the advice of Rachel Merz, a biology professor who I had previously confided in about my 10 year plan. She asked me to reflect on my favorite classes: the kinds of classes where you can't wait to do the readings, the ones where you find yourself raising your hand at every opportunity. I couldn't help but think about Intro to Education, which I had taken in the fall of freshman year. She asked me why I was so excited by that class, and I responded by talking about the experiences I had in my field placement and the connections I made with kids. It was at this point that I realized the common thread between my previous life goals and my favorite class: a commitment to children. The driving force behind wanting to go into pediatric medicine was the same force that would push me towards education. I realized I could still accomplish my goal of advocating for children and trying to address injustices in their care, but rather than doing it in the operating room I would do it in the classroom. With revitalized passionate for education, I was ready to jump in to accomplishing my new 10 year plan - becoming a teacher. 

The Theory that Inspired Instruction  

I was cautiously optimistic about my dream to teach at the beginning, but this cautious optimism was replaced by true excitement after taking Educational Psychology. Yamuchi, Wyatt & Carroll's piece about contextualized learning inspired me to think about the cultural context of my students and forced me to consider basing my teaching in real-world problems. Faber & Mazlish's book, entitled How To Talk so Kids Can Learn, begged me to consider the positive and negative connotations of the way we phrase things when talking to children. Engle and Conant introduced me to the idea of giving students "elements of ownership and choice" over their curricula, which gives them authority and a sense of agency within their learning environments. Reading these authors ignited my passion for creating a student directed learning environment where "children are probing into the working of the world and teachers are providing, demonstrating, learning, observing and responding," (Lindfors 1991). 

It was at this moment that I knew the type of environment I wanted to teach in. Kids are naturally curious and love to be asked what they want to learn about, we just have to listen better. By asking students what they are interested in, not only are we giving them authority and increasing engagement by using natural curiosities to our advantage, but we are also listening to their thoughts and validating their questions. Through listening to their curiosities and showing them that we take their questions seriously, we are communicating that we respect them and value what they have to say. Creating a classroom environment where we respect and validate our students helps to build meaningful relationships and gives them a space where they feel heard. By ensuring we create a feeling of comfort and a sense of belonging in the classroom, we are supporting our students to engage more deeply with material and setting them up to succeed. 

Reading about the Watershed classroom from Mark Springer and Ed Silcox's book to then experiencing it in person through my field placement gave me the privilege of seeing the power of this sort of learning environment firsthand. Researching the positive impacts of project based, integrated education on mental health solidified my commitment to this style of education even more. Hearing the teachers say things like "in here there are so many ways to be valuable… they have value in ways that aren't just their grades and test scores and that helps lessen the anxiety and stress and promotes community,” and “students aren’t a number, they're not data," about their classroom was crucial in my development as a teacher. Coming from my educational background, where students were literally just numbers in a ranked list, hearing this point of view from a teacher was a breath of fresh air. I knew this was the place I wanted to be, so I pursued a placement here for student teaching.

The Reality of Watershed and the Power of Relationships

When the bell rang on that first Monday morning and the kids came into the room, I felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Do I even know how to teach? Will they like me? What am I doing? These questions were ones I continued to ask myself (and my cooperating teachers) over the course of student teaching. During that first week, however, my fears of being a bad teacher were pushed to the side by a focus on relationship building. We spent hours playing team building games, learning about each other, establishing a connection that would set the stage for the rest of the semester. Leading activities like this was in my wheelhouse, but as we got to the end of the first week and started really diving into content, my worries about classroom management and being a responsive classroom leader came back. I spent days planning my first lesson, getting feedback from my cooperating teachers, thinking of every possible problem and what I would do in response. But as I stood in front of the kids for the first time, with 40 pairs of eyes on me waiting for me to say something, I realized that the many hours we spent on building relationships made the task of teaching a lesson easy. I wasn't talking to just any kids, I was talking to my kids. I knew what they liked, I knew their senses of humor, I knew what could get them engaged. 

Building relationships didn't just help me understand them, but it helped them understand me as well. Because of our rapport, they trusted me to be honest with them and support them through tough projects and even tougher group dynamics. They felt comfortable communicating to me when something was confusing, when they needed more support, or even when they just needed a break from their group members. They were also able to give me feedback on my work just as I was giving them feedback on theirs. Having such a strong relationship with them put me in a position where I could learn from them about what it means to be a good teacher, and what I can do to support them as best I could. The lessons I learned from them about teaching were just as valuable as the theory I learned to get me there. 

In addition to teaching the content, my cooperating teachers and I put a big emphasis on social/emotional learning. There were days when kids would seek me out because they were stressed about finishing a project on time, upset about uneven distribution of work in their group, or even just having a bad day. These kids gave me the privilege to work with them from their most vulnerable to their most brave. Watershed taught me the value of not emphasizing academic achievement as the only/most important kind of achievement. As teachers, we should be helping our students develop skills outside of traditional linguistic and logical intelligences. By emphasizing academic achievement as the most important type of achievement, we harm both students who achieve in ways outside of the traditional (through constant negative feedback on academic pursuits and lack of outlets for intelligences in which they excel) and students who achieve traditionally (by neglecting their social-emotional growth and cultivation of other intelligences). I have learned both from my cooperating teachers and from the model of integrated learning about the virtues of educating the whole child. By giving the arts a place in the classroom, we can "suggest new explanations of ways to achieve full individual and societal competence," (Heath and Roach 1999). "Schools worldwide must give children intellectual and practical tools they can bring to their classrooms, families, and communities," and if we only focus on academic achievement in school we are missing out on a whole "set of skills needed to successfully manage life tasks such as learning, forming relationships, communicating effectively, being sensitive to others’ needs, and getting along with others," (Elias 2006, pg. 5).

Considering the Future

Seeing the theory I spent years reading and writing about at work in student teaching leaves me with a commitment to the idea of teachers as learners, and students as teachers. This experience has taught me about the wealth of information that comes from relationships with students. The value of things learned through the cultivation of trust with students is remarkable. I end this experience with an understanding of the importance of validating student experiences and supporting them to take ownership over their educational trajectories. I am thankful for the essential role my students have played in my teacher education, and I will continue to be thankful for the opportunities I will have to learn and grow with each group of students that pass through my classroom. My identity as a teacher has been defined by my students, and I am thrilled to redefine this identity every year for as long as I have the privilege to teach.

[drowning-in-dennor]

Answers

The gang's all here to answer your burning questions! Whether it’s the Oxenstiernas or the Wangs, or your favourite couples, they’re ready to face whatever inquiries you might have! [Written to celebrate two hundred and fifty followers.]

Question One: Literally anything about Bogden please uwu

Bogden: ...this isn’t really a question.

[Aleksander claps Bogden on the shoulder.]

Aleksander: Oh, whatever, just be glad we’re getting attention!

Bogden: Well, okay, but this is pretty weird. I mean, do they want to hear about my personal life, or my relationships, or -

[Aleksander muffles Bogden’s mouth with his hand.]

Aleksander: HIS MIDDLE NAME IS BORIS AND HIS BIRTHDAY IS THE THIRD OF MARCH ALSO HE REALLY LIKES YOGHURT AND HE REALLY LIKES ROSES AND ROSE-FLAVOURED STUFF OH AND HE HAS A PET BUNNY, IS THAT ENOUGH INFO?

Question Two: So what does the butter boy love doing the most with Henrik?

Stellan: I assume I’m ‘the butter boy’.

Henrik, sarcastically: Oh, no, I’m sure it’s Harald, or anyone but the one who stress-baked six hundred butter cookies after a final one day and mailed them to every person in the city!

[Stellan kicks Henrik under the table.]

Stellan: Well, to answer your question, I just love it when we cuddle while watching the sunset. We’re usually sitting outside, in this rocking swing we have in our front yard, watching the sky get painted all these pretty colours. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world to be able to see something so lovely with the person you care for the most.

[Henrik turns red.]

Henrik: Y-Yeah, those are really happy times. Holy fuck, I love you so much.

Question Three: What does Berwald like doing with Henrik?

Berwald: Fighting.

Henrik: Sometimes we just crack open a beer and talk about our husbands because we’re both awesomely lucky men. Then Stell has to pick me up the next morning while I’m hungover.

Berwald: Or we design some furniture together.

Henrik: We used to assemble IKEA stuff together until that time I screwed the legs of a chair on wrong and accidentally created a monster.

Question Four: Harald, how do you feel about Henrik and Stellan’s relationship?

Harald: When they got together all those years ago, I was too young to remember much, but when I got older and they got sappier, it was pretty annoying. Like, I’d be having breakfast, and they’d be across the table cuddling or something.

Stellan: Were we that bad?

[Harald crosses his arms.]

Harald: Yes, you were that bad. When you started high school it got even more annoying, because you two would be fucking like rabbits while poor me was right next door.

Henrik: Oh, yeah! We were pretty loud, huh?

Harald: Now, though, they have their own house, so I don’t really care. I get a cool brother-in-law, and Stell has a husband. Works out for both of us.

Question Five, from @kyrakira: What wouwd Stewwan wike mowwe? a pwug ow a couch owo?

[Stellan falls off his chair.]

[Henrik slams his fist on the table and bursts into laughter.]

Stellan, climbing back onto his chair: First of all, I hate how I understand what you’re saying. Second of all, I’d say the plug.

Henrik: HOLY -

Stellan: Fucking a piece of furniture is not as pleasant as it sounds, kids. Don’t try it at home.

Question Six: To Agata: sweet mother, I cannot focus; slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl, how not die?

Agata: Nothing you can do about it. You will look at your pretty girl, and you will have an internal heart attack.

[Tille giggles.]

Agata: You know how I met Tille? I was riding my bike, I saw her. She was pretty. I hit her with my bike.

Tille: You cried, you big kitty cat.

Agata: Yes, I cried. I was overwhelmed by your beauty.

Tille: Aww.

Agata: So, you see a pretty girl, you’re helpless to her charms. Too bad. I can’t help.

Question Seven: How close and warm are y'all nordicks? óuò

Henrik: ...I assume that means us?

[Harald cringes.]

Harald: What the hell is that cursed emoji?

Berwald: You mean emoticon.

Harald: Whatever.

Tino: To answer your question, we go over to each others’ houses for dinner every Friday! Sometimes we do it with Leon’s family, too.

Henrik: It’s really awesome! But when Stellan gets a little too competitive with Vicente, things can get, er, messy.

[Stellan throws up his hands.]

Stellan: The egg tart situation was one time, Henrik! ONE TIME!

Question Eight: To any of you, when was the last time you cried in front of a lot of people? 

Antonio: Gilbert made a face at me in the middle of a presentation, and I laughed so hard I cried.

Ludwig: Pochi...

[Ludwig buries his face in his hands.]

Ludwig: Pochi just tottered up to me and jumped in my lap. It was adorable.

Kiku: Then I cried because Pochi betrayed me for him.

Feliciano: Then I cried because Tama scratched me. I still have the scar.

Question Nine: Harald, out of everyone in your family, who's death would you find most disturbing and why?

[Harald’s eyes widen.]

Harald: Why would you ask something like that? What on earth is wrong with you? Any of their deaths would be disturbing, by the way. I don’t think I could ever bear to see any of them die before me.

[He sniffles and reaches in his pocket for a tissue.]

[Henrik jumps, scowling darkly.]

Henrik: Okay, who made Harald cry?

Harald: Wait —

[Stellan joins Henrik and raises a fist.]

Stellan: They’ll have hell to pay for this.

Harald: ...I love you guys.

Question Ten: Henrik and Stellan, how are your relationships with your parents?

Henrik: Oh, we get along just fine! They were a little shocked when I brought Stellan home for the first time, but not any more. 

Stellan: Between Henrik and Leon, mine have, well, resigned themselves to the fact that they most likely will not have biological grandchildren.

Henrik: We’re not sure if we’re gonna adopt just yet, but if we do, I’m sure our folks would be thrilled!

Question Eleven: To Al, Matt, Arthur, Francis, Ivan and Yao, what are your favorite memories about school?

Yao: Well, it has to be every prize-presentation ceremony at the end of each year. I went on stage every time!

Alfred: Yo, stop flexing, we know you’re a genius already.

[Arthur smiles, clearly lost in his memories.]

Arthur: My time at the school’s literature club was truly unforgettable. I was the president, if you must know, and I finally got an excuse to hide in the library all the time and read.

[Francis laughs.]

Francis: Ah, surely I thought your dearest memory would be of that one time you thought you were carrying around a copy of Pride and Prejudice, but was in reality holding a very saucy volume of Victorian er —

Arthur: HEY, ALFRED! You never told us about your favourite memory!

[Alfred jumps, accidentally smacking Yao on the shoulder. Yao gives him a withering glare.]

Alfred: Oh, yeah. It’s got to be when the soccer team won the last game of the semester, in my senior year! Dang, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

Matthew: And speaking of competitions, when I got first place in the school’s public speaking competition in grade seven, I completely lost it.

Alfred: You screamed, then hugged me so tightly I saw spots afterwards.

Matthew: I’ll never forget how it felt to win something for the first time.

Francis: My time with Yao in our school’s cooking club was magnificent. Yao, my friend, do you remember the mooncake project?

[Yao perks up.]

Yao: Yes, when we experimented to see how to make mooncakes less oily? That was fun. I still use that recipe to make mooncakes now. 

Matthew: Hey Ivan, you haven’t talked yet. What’s your favourite memory?

Ivan: My favourite memory? Let me think, now...

[Ivan taps his chin.]

Ivan: Meeting you all at the very start of the year, that was amazing.

Alfred: Oh, you big teddy bear!

Arthur: We love you too.

[The six of them collapse in a group hug. The sound of chairs falling fills the room.]

Question Twelve: Out of everyone, who was a dropout and who finished college?

Alfred: I, uh, never went to college. Just decided to go “fuck the system” and started a food cart that I still wheel around the States. If you wanna see me, look for Stars and Stripes!

Matthew: Like Francis, I survived culinary school, but unlike Francis, I only got a degree in the pastry arts.

[Francis rubs his temples.]

Francis: None of you have ever experienced pain until you’ve been through egg day. Nine hundred eggs, all gone to waste because the Chef thought they were bad!

Arthur: I got my degree in English literature at Oxford, and to this day I’m still surprised that I managed to get in.

Yao: I have a degree in medicine, but it’s pretty useless since I run my diner now. By the way, check out Wang’s if you have the time!

[Ivan rubs the back of his head sheepishly.]

Ivan: I got arrested in the middle of college. Now, I just help my sister run her store!

Feliciano: Kiku and I both went to art school! I went to culinary school with Francis after that, though.

Kiku: My student loans haunt me to this day.

Ludwig: It surprises a lot of people, but I dropped out of college while Gilbert’s the one with the degree. 

Henrik: I went to a super-obscure course, namely the textile arts. Most people don’t even know it’s a degree!

Stellan: I got a degree in creative writing at John Hopkins in the US.

Berwald: Went to trade school.

Tino: I don’t really remember much about college. I just remember a lot of coffee, screaming and complaining.

Question Thirteen: What do you love most about yourself, Henrik, Berwald and Stellan? uwu

Stellan: The next person to use “uwu” will have their spleens removed.

Berwald: Very threatening.

Henrik: Well, what I wuv mowost abowouwut mwysewelf is howow I’m able to awways pwiss owoff my bowoyfewnd!

Berwald: What.

[Stellan gets up.]

Stellan: I love you, but say “uwu” again and you’re sleeping on the couch.

Henrik: Why, uwu?

Stellan: OH, THAT’S IT —

[Henrik flees from Stellan.]

Berwald: I love that I married a sane person.

Question Fourteen: Why do you like your best friend, Tino? 3:

Tino: Oh you mean Ed? Well, we’ve been friends since forever, first of all, and we’ve stuck together no matter what! He’s helped me with homework and bullies and all that stuff since we were kids, and I’ve done the same. Best of all, he encouraged me to ask Berwald out, and thanks to him I now have an awesome husband!

[Nearby, Eduard is sobbing.]

Eduard: I love you too!

Question Fifteen: If a=b, multiply by a to get a²=ab, subtract b² to get a²-b²=ab-b², factor them (a+b)(a-b)=b(a-b), cancel a-b, and since a=b the equation is now 2b=b or 2=1; why does math exist? @the Wangs

Leon: ...what?

Vicente: I think I lost half my brain cells just by reading that.

Ling: This is bringing back trauma from school, and that question doesn’t even make sense.

Yao: I’m too old for this crap.

Leon: But to answer your question, math exists because once upon a time some asshole decided to invent numbers and make our lives difficult.

Ling: Seconded.

Vicente: Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to make dinner.

Question Sixteen: Stellan, what's the most difficult decision you've had to make to see your dreams come true?

Stellan: Ohhh, that’s a hard one. I’ve had to make a lot of sacrifices to become the person I am today. But if I had to pick, it’d be picking John Hopkins over Oslo Uni, and leaving Harald and Henrik behind. It was worth it, though, since now I’m happy and successful and I can’t have asked for more.

Harald: Aww, I love you too, you bastard.

Question Seventeen: Which family does Peter belong to?

Arthur: He lives with the Oxenstiernas, which is fine with both of us.

Tino: Artie couldn’t handle Peter after his parents passed, so it started out with Ber just babysitting him. But after the two of us got married, Arthur decided to put Peter up for adoption so he could become our son!

Niklas: It was a great decision.

Berwald: What?

Niklas: I mean, it was a terrible decision because now I’m stuck with an awesome — er, annoying — brother for the rest of my life.

Question Eighteen: What do you think is the best thing about your personality, Berwald?

Berwald: Uh...

[He stares off into the distance.]

Berwald: Uhhh...

Tino: Well, I love how everyone’s so intimidated by you, but you’re so snuggly and sweet in reality! 

[Berwald appears to stop breathing.]

Berwald: Thanks.

Question Nineteen: To Alfred, Gilbert and Henrik: what’s the dumbest yet smartest thing you’ve ever done?

Alfred: Dang, that’s a hard one. I’d say the time we threw a dictionary out of the car window, just because.

Gilbert: No, the time we put a block of frozen maple syrup into Matt’s showerhead. But then we got yelled at, so maybe not.

Henrik: How about when we tried to brûlée salt and set off the fire alarm?

[The three of them consider.]

Gilbert: Yoo, what about the frying pan thing?

Henrik: Oh, riiiiight, the frying pan thing!

Alfred: So basically, we put a frying pan on the heart for too long and it melted. Then it turned out that the frying pan was made with unsafe material! That’s kinda smart, I guess.

Question Twenty: Which one of you (anyone ig) has a choking fetish?

[The entire room erupts into chaos.]

Harald: OH MY GOODNESS!

Leon: Who the hell asked this!?

Alfred: You know what? Y’all need Jesus.

[Someone hits the camera and it switches off.]

...

A/N: Yes I know I’m very unfunny but I hope this was at least the tiniest bit fun to read

[neosummer]

Vindicated

A/n: Hey y'all this is the first angst post for this blog, it's a short scenario with our manadarin boii. Hope ya enjoy!

Pairing: LucasxReader

Angst like there's no tomorrow. Eventual fluff

"Okay, I know it may be too much to ask at this moment. But will you please get your shits together?!" Yukhei haven't raised his voice on you ever. Not when you are being too reckless with your driving, not when you are excessively punching him whenever you get excited with a Marvel related stuff. Not when you lost his keys to his apartment. He thought he will never, you thought so as well. However, here you are left speechless after hearing his booming voice. A subtle pain pinching your chest because you can't believe Yukhei just used those words and tone on you. Especially now that you are having one of your worst breakdown. His eyes were intense and his demeanor-commanding as oppose to his usual easy going and goofy mood. Yukhei is just staring down at you who's now sitting on your crumpled bed, shocked still. You wiped away your tears although your still hiccuping you did what he told you to do. You are now calm and so is he. "I didn't mean to scare you" He sat beside you, hands clasped and eyes closed. You know that he's about to say something serious and honest with those movements. He opened his eyes and you saw it glistening but he rubbed it in a way that wouldn't  look like he's wiping the tears forming "We've known each other for so long and deeply. I don't think going soft and easy on you will help this case y/n. You've been self pitying a lot and I can't do the same for you" you fight back the tears, but it felt like you are fighting the inevitable. "I just don't know what happened dude, I lost myself and I can't seem to find the old me" Yukhei stretched the sleeves of his grey pullovers and used it to wipe the stubborn tears rolling down you cheeks. "You will find her, I'm sure. You don't have to rush it. But please, cut yourself some slack. You see, you have developed eating disorder because of that punishment concept you created for yourself" you dragged yourself to this mess believing that this is the best way to motivate and push you to your limits. You're a scholar, dean's lister, and probably the most competitive student in the University. So when you started getting lower grades and fail some exams you thought one of your worst nightmare had already come and you brought it all upon yourself. You nodded to his words, your hiccups is still there so Yukhei stood and poured water on your Thor tumbler. "Here you go" His voice is softer, yet still firm. "Thanks" you gulped from the tumbler and somehow your calmer now that Yukhei is rubbing your back. "Honestly, y/n you shouldn't have let that boy get the best of you" See, all your problems escalated when you started dating that guy from another uni. He was your 'indie boy' dream. You both shared the same movie enthusiasm and music preference. You like to watch French films and hipster movies with him and you two shared playlist with songs consisting of anti-mainstream music. He was sweet and made you feel the heroine in your own movie. He'd make you poems and send flowers to your doorstep with notes. The guy even made you a montage video of yourself with your favorite song as the bgm. You are so in love, he was your first boyfriend. But the thing is, the guy seems to have some unhealthy emotional baggage. And you, being the emphatic girl you have always been thought that somehow you can fix him. Not knowing that you will be the one left more devastated. You lagged on your homework and missed some meetings with your group mates just so you can spend more time with the guy. You knew, being with him will make him happier and drop his emotional baggage. But the more you spend time with him the more things get worse. The guy resorted into using illegal substances to cope up with his mental health issues and unknowingly your own mental health deteriorated in return. He had treated you differently then, he became mean and hard to deal with. He caused you too much pain but you persisted because of 'love'. You tried harder to 'fix' him but your relationship took a toll on it  together with your studies. Yukhei was the only one who kept reminding you to cut down your unhealthy relationship with the guy. He kept reminding you but you never listened, until the guy broke up with you because he said that he wanted to find himself. Yukhei thought it was bullshit, having a mental health issue doesn't give you the right to destroy someone else. It's been months since your break up but your still on the dark well, unable to lift yourself up. You hated yourself for giving too much love and affection and developed that self punishment concept. Your studies haven't bounce back as well and now, you won't be able to graduate on time.

This heartbreaking news came to you 6 hours ago and you've been crying non-stop on your apartment and thought of ending yourself had Yukhei not forced himself inside your apartment you will be on the newspaper headline by tomorrow. "I don't know if I can ever face my parents again Yukhei" he let out a heavy sigh and said "Of course you have to acknowledge your shortcomings. But I believe they will understand. Besides, graduating on time may be just a social construct right?" He had already switched to his usual self. You smiled although afflicted. "Exactly, they are so forgiving. I'm ashamed of myself Yukhei" he shook his head "I'm not sure if I can bounce back" he cupped your face "y/n remember that time when you saved from falling over a cliff when we were 9 and you asked me if I believe and trust in you? Didn’t I said yes? That I believe in you and your fighting spirit. I meant it. Every damn word, I mean it. I will always" his voice cracked a bit and you felt a  sense of pride in you. A feeling that you haven't felt in a really long time. "I know, you are disappointed and broken but I'll always be here to help you pick yourself up" his thumb brushing your tears and his forehead close to yours made you feel safe and redeemed. "You're right, I should get my shits together" you both let out a short laugh while your foreheads are connected and now you two are crying. "Thank you for being real and not sugarcoating things with me" he pulled you into a tight embrace. "Things will never be the same. It doesn't get easier, but we must believe that it'll get better someday" you silently cry-smile because of the Yukhei's message to you. He had always been the realest person to you. Not sugarcoating and treating you as a fragile kid but at the same time making you feel safe and home. "You survived 7 semesters, another 1 1/2 surely, you will ace as well. And please remember that you don't have to prove yourself over and over again. Don't push yourself too much y/n" you're still tightly wrapped around him and all your frustrations seems to be washed out by his existence alone. But like what he said, it doesn't get easier so you promised yourself that you will survive this and learn the greatest lesson in your life. Yukhei released you but held your hands. "Besides, engineering is 5 years. That meant, we'll graduate together. You'll never be alone" he gave you a reassuring smile that made your heart melt in the most beautiful way. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind you ears. "We can do this okay?" He nudged your face with his nose and you felt like your heart would explode any minute. You were so overwhelmed by how much your bestfriend did to help you out from your worst state. "Together" you said. Yukhei pulled you once again in a tight and warm embrace "Together, no matter what" and left a soft peck in your forehead. After all this time, Yukhei was the one who believed in you the most and you are more that thankful to have him as your bestfriend. "I love you dude" he whispered and stroked your hair. He always says so but this time it felt different. You knew what he meant "You really are a true blooded engineer. You fancy building stuff. I'm a work in progress. Is that fine?" Your voice is shaky. You always knew that there is an unspoken tension between you two but you're afraid that it'll make things different for your friendship. But from all your experiences, and knowing that Yukhei was the one who still believes in you and cares so much about your well being after you messed up big-time made it easier for you to admit feelings that you hid deeply behind. "I don't mind at all, like you said I like building stuff and I would very much love to build a lot of new things with you, and a good building takes time to rise" Yukhei cannot hide his tears well and it is your turn to wipe it off

"Let's build us then" you whispered to him and this time there is no need to fix someone.

[realtalk-princeton]

Hey Maybach. Your long response was great. Thank you for putting thought and time into this blog. Could you elaborate on the problems unique to Princeton mentioned in the following section?“Are there problems that are unique to Princeton even if it’s only 10% of its total problems? Yes. And pre-frosh should be aware of them and I’m happy to talk about them.”-a different 2023 prefrosh

Thanks for stopping by. Sorry, it took me a week to get to this, I just had a lot of other things I also needed to take care of in addition to answering the questions before you.

As I’ve stated previously, most of the concerns students have at this school are largely similar to the concerns students have at all other elite schools (whether they know it or not).  However, one issue that I think Princeton has that is uniquely “strong” is a cultural preoccupation with prestige primarily through the lens of exclusivity and image. By this, I mean that the campus seems to foster this idea within students that they need to be constantly in the most visible and public elite and selective positions. This somehow permeates all throughout almost all aspects of student life whether it be in performing groups, clubs, work experience, academics, etc. I’ve talked to ivy league students from pretty much all the schools and this last point of this obsession with prestige in almost all facets of the student experience is what is uniquely problematic. For example, while people contemplating self-harm due to not gaining entrance to a social club is not unique (frats and sororities at Dartmouth and Vanderbilt have the analogous issue), what is unique is that this idea of NEEDING to be in these exclusive circles outside of just one particular area is what I find particularly troubling. I can’t tell you how many people come here and they have a passion. Just to give you an easy story, I know a person who was good at playing their instrument and tried out for “performing group x” (avoiding specifics here), but she didn’t get in (they accepted like 3 out of 100 applicants). Now because group x is the most “prestigious” and special group on campus this person lost motivation to practice their instrument because performing group y (the second best group) is not “good enough” to warrant spending time on when Princeton already makes us so busy. As a result, this horrible recursive loop happens where people no longer want to put effort into their passions and the next time they apply they do even worse because of this. There’s a culture of not being able to let go and just do things for the sake of fun or enjoyment. Same thing with internships. “I’m only making $15,000 next summer, but someone I know is making $20k at a company with better name recognition.” People just can’t stop comparing themselves to each other and constantly forming a culture and system of exclusivity based on trying to define as many of our interactions in this sense (whether consciously or unconsciously). Even more ridiculous is that people often base comparisons off of faulty data sources such as social media, which only strengthens feelings of inferiority. I actually read a really good article in the Daily Prince a while ago that was something like “you won the Princeton lottery, now play again to get into exclusive clubs” or something like that. Pretty much it was just talking about just this issue in a better way than I’m describing and how people who just want to do say “good” stand-up comedy vie for like 2 spots with 100 people applying and it creates this terrible binary huge win or huge loss, nothing in-between culture. However, I would like to state 2 big notes about this issue. While it is a problem, luckily it is not competitive between students, only from within. In other words, it’s not like people will go out of their way to denigrate people in less “prestigious” groups and people aren’t cutthroat about it generally. Secondly, there are still a number of people who literally give NO attention to any of this nonsense. They are the minority, but it’s certainly possible to ignore all of this and just be part of casual stuff. For example, there are now numerous clubs on campus that are non-audition based and allow people to put in as much effort as they want.

Another unique problem, I think we have is an excessive academic system at times. However, I think this issue is becoming less and less a problem year after year and certainly was not big enough of a factor to make my experience here bad. As previously stated, grade deflation was quite a bad system, but grades are now reaching all-time highs and the average GPA of each new class is significantly higher than the last. Another old systematic problem was the calendar, which I loathed, which put breaks before finals. This encouraged people to work super hard during the time for family in order to “beat” the kids who didn’t study on Christmas Day to do well in intro classes. It was horrendous and hearing stories of CS kids spending 80 hours on an assignment over the break and still not finishing was just terrible. Luckily, you will not have to deal with this though lol. Our academics were also too rushed with the old calendar and material moved SUPER fast. It’s still pretty fast, but that is expected. However, overall, I would say that Princeton is probably harder and more rigorous than most of our peers. I’ve taken courses abroad and at NYU, and for sure the standard was noticeably lower. I will say though that I learned more at Princeton as a result though. However, for some people, it’s too much and they feel overburdened by our system’s rigor and of course the independent research process. If you hate the idea of research and don’t change this perspective by your second year of college here, I can imagine that your academic life would be quite stressful.

The last major unique issue I think Princeton is a little bit too uptight at times. What do I mean by this? It’s probably a combination of the academic system, modern age, and students’ own egos, but the culture is sometimes not chill enough for my liking. For me, I’ve had to make my experience chill and more relaxed at times and it can suck when friends around you are just stressed out and don’t want to also make time to just you know… have fun. Have people forgotten about that concept? (joke) This is a bubble and at times that is problematic because like I said before, everyone has no sense of comparable reality and thinks they need to be overloaded with work. Obviously, it doesn’t apply to everyone (case and point me), but it’s still worse than most of our peers I think (except Columbia and University of Chicago and a few others that are totally insane). It’s shocking for me sometimes how “in the zone” people are and totally overfocused on their classes, a particular club, and getting an internship. I remember I told someone “did you hear the big news?” in reference to North Korea last year and the person replied “Yeah I know! It’s crazy! my math exam got rescheduled.” People seem to have commitment problems as a result of being super busy. LDR’s are rarer than leprechauns compared to other universities and people just seem to not prioritize things like maintaining familiar and friend relationships enough. This is not to say this isn’t a problem at other universities, but just a little worse here.

Anyway, so I hope you got something out of my candid answers. To be honest, it was hard coming up with unique problems. Only the first one I listed is REALLY unique. The other two are just noticeably a little worse than at the “average” elite school. So don’t think that by going to say Columbia over us is going to make your academic life way easier. Trust me, it won’t.

Edit. I forgot to add one more thing because I personally don’t consider it a “problem” lol. But I thought I’d be fair and put it in. Princeton is uniquely anti-drug compared to other universities. I’ve pretty much never seen weed here (except at Terrace after 2am when all the other clubs close) and hard drugs are extraordinarily rare. Compare this to say Berkeley or Brown and it’s like comparing night and day. We also actually punish students who openly use things like marijuana in their dorms and students have been turned over to the police and/or expelled for infractions such as this. Simple and to the point, we don’t have a very heavy drug culture. People still do them, but generally in more secret and secluded places like a private eating club, Poe field, etc. Now, I don’t consider this a “problem”, but if in the spirit of total transparency, those of you pre-frosh who like the kush ought to know this haha.

[mbarnshaw-blog]

Readerly Exploration - November 14th

Reading One: Rasinski (2012), “Why Reading Fluency Should Be Hot!”

Biggest Takeaway: There is a huge misconception that reading fluency is only related to the speed at which a person can read when in actuality, fluency is reading with and for meaning.

Nugget: Fluency has two essential components, automaticity and prosody. Automaticity is the ability to recognize words automatically. Prosody allows the reader to infer information that is not explicitly stated already in the passage. Both are developed through “wide” and “deep” reading practice.  

Reading Two: Applegate, Applegate & Modla (2011), “She’s My Best Reader; She Just Can’t Comprehend’: Studying the Relationship Between Fluency and Comprehension”

Biggest Takeaway: Reading skills such as fluency, word recognition and comprehension should not be kept separate from each other, they should be developing at the same time so that this issue of “good readers but not good comprehenders” is no longer a problem.

Nugget: From the research the authors conducted, they found that one third of the students considered to be fluent and “strong” readers struggled with the correct comprehension level appropriate for their grade level. It forces the teachers to ask the question, “Where is this good reading getting them if they can’t understand what they’re reading?”

Readerly Exploration Experience: For this readerly exploration, I decided to explore relationships with other people through reading by using texts as a shared experience with another person/other people or to gain insight into the perspective of another person, specifically by sharing the readings with a friend in another major to get his insight and perspective on it.

I was really moved thinking about the topics in these articles and wasn’t totally sure what I was going to do for the exploration. I hadn’t really thought about talking with a peer about it, but it came up naturally as a friend and I were having a talk about other things. We talked about what we experienced in school and found that for both of us, being a “good reader” in especially elementary, but even middle and high school, often meant being the fastest reader. I remember loving that in elementary school because I was one of the fastest readers, I think, because I read all of the time. I loved the challenge of being the first one to finish a passage in the class and when it came to the teacher asking for volunteers to read, I loved showing off my speed, but also my enthusiasm, to the rest of the class. However, for my friend, he has struggled with dyslexia his entire life, and knew, even from kindergarten, that something was off. He dreaded language arts and having to read in front of the class because he always knew it was harder for him and it was embarrassing. Him talking about his experiences throughout school, how much he struggled, and how much he ultimately hated school because of his challenges made me really reflect on my own experiences and evaluate what my students’ experiences will be. I’m so heartbroken to think that no one helped him and I hope to never be a teacher who tells a student “Well, just stop being dyslexic” which is something he remembers being told as a second grader. 

While the articles didn’t discuss learning disabilities, my readerly exploration made me think more deeply about the emotional struggles our students might face if we act as though reading is a “competition” or something to be good or bad at. I think those ideas can be commonly associated with reading fluency when it’s all about speed, being the fastest, and getting timed. 

Multimedia: After my conversation with my friend, I continued to look into strategies for reading fluency especially for dyslexic students. A lot of strategies I found look very familiar to strategies beneficial for all young readers so I feel like it would be easy to implement. After hearing his story, it made me more aware of how even the youngest students might be struggling and I want to be prepared to work with those students. The woman in this video has a child with dyslexia and she has created an entire website with strategies and multiple videos. 

[tactileconsensus]

I love writing, but my writing process involves a lot of procrastination because 1) I’m lazy, 2) I tend to ramble, and 3) I’m not actually that creative lmao

Regardless!! Kurtox’s academy life is extremely important to his character, and it’s also a thing that i’m really proud of. For the longest time, I’ve been meaning to write about this to explain everything... Looks like i finally did it! It’s all under a readmore because I know it’ll get long and I don’t want to clog your dash

TL;DR - Super smart, super charming Kurtox Galwes is a legislacerator in training who hates law and has no friends. We’re all very sad about this but, y’know, it’s not like he made things easier so we get to be a little less sad about this whole ‘loneliness’ thing he’s got going on.

For those who might not know Kurtox’s character very well (probably due to the considerable lack of plotting and headcanon-ing on my part), Kurtox is a dude who got himself into a prestigious legislacerator academy because he thought it was the “right” thing to do as a teal blood, since the best legislacerators tend to come from his caste. He was also encouraged by his lusus. Probably. 

"Birdad” fell into a deep slumber shortly after the two finished building their hive. Kurtox, who is creative and really good with science, has actually managed to keep him alive through medicine of his own creation, but he still doesn’t know why this happened. He doesn’t know whether his dad will ever wake up either. Dad could die at any moment and Kurtox struggles with this.

Living without a lusus and friends (we will get to that part soon) can be lonely; thankfully, Birdad can sometimes communicate with Kurtox telepathically, though he only seems to do it for important situations as it does seem to take a tool on his already poor health. One day, while wondering if legislaceration was the right path for him, his lusus came to him and encouraged him to join the academy. Well, at least that’s what Kurtox assumed he meant. His lusus always speaks in riddles, after all, so it can be hard to tell what he wants. The point is, his lusus tempted his health to provide insight on this issue. Naturally, Kurtox valued what he understood from it.

And so, Kurtox started his adventure. He didn’t know much about law, and his true passion in life has always been science, but Kurtox likes learning new things and he was convinced this was the right thing to do. 

These academies start training young trolls (6 sweeps and up) who get in through suggestions or a series of tests. Kurtox was tested and passed with flying colors, being admitted to Ykrat Academy of Legislaceration.

He got into it wanting to be the best, mostly for reasons of pride. While Kurtox managed to ace whatever the academy threw his way, it didn’t even take him 1 whole “human year” to realize he really hated law and law school. He had to memorize theory, watch a bunch of grown ups work, and do their paperwork. Go to sleep, wake up, repeat! Maybe even spend the weekend doing this really troublesome essay that is almost entirely a work of research and compilation and doesn’t actually require you to think about the subject at all. Classes were repetitive and time consuming. The bounty hunting aspect of the job didn’t interest him either. Kurtox started to care less and less about his duties as a legislacerator in training, already thinking about dropping out. 

Naturally, his grades started to suffer. His teachers were infuriated. It’s common for the best of the best to be recruited as soon as they finish the course (it’s why the students of the academy are so competitive), and it’s all because of the teachers. In what may or may not be a series of shady arrangements, the teachers make deals with highly ranked professionals, or negotiate to have the graduates for themselves. Kurtox’s teachers already had plans and expectations for him. They would never allow him to be anything but excellent. The meaner ones even threatened him with the possibility of culling, since many of them negotiate with highbloods. A young Kurtox (who, to this day, is extremely afraid of death) was intimidated into staying and excelling, despite his complete lack of passion. Having to wake up everyday to sit in a class you hate, only to have another you hate even more after that one... It’s hard being a kid and growing up. It's hard and nobody understands.

Kurtox is really easy to befriend, okay? He’s fun and charismatic. When school started and he got to meet his classmates for the first time, he quickly became friends with pretty much all of them. Everyone was smart and witty in their own unique way, so even if they knew they would be each other’s competition in the future, it felt like they were all starting on even ground, all of them evenly matched, which is a healthy way to establish friendly rivalries.

Sadly, tests, essays and assignments eventually started happening, grades coming shortly after. Kurtox wasn't just excelling in one or two things, he seemed to always find himself at the top no matter what. His colleagues didn’t know how to react. Most wanted to feel happy for their friend, to be supportive of his achievements, but Kurtox was frankly heartbreaking to watch. The problem wasn’t just that he was getting ridiculously good grades; it was that, despite all their ambition and hard work, they still never managed to beat someone who obviously lacked the passion they had. He made it seem so easy too! 

Kurtox could feel the tension build between him and his friends. Slowly, as the sweeps passed, their conversations consisted of more and more bickering disguised as innocent teasing. Imagine a bunch of teenage lawyer-wannabes trying to outsmart the smart kid out of spite, with the smart kid talking back because he’s also an idiot and doesn’t like to stay quiet. Yeah, that.

Growing tired of having his motives and abilities constantly questioned and teased by the people who were supposed to be his friends, Kurtox got increasingly more direct with his replies, still playing along with a fake friendly demeanor but knowing just what to say to sting the other troll into silence. In the rare cases it got someone angry or aggressive, he’d still call it a ‘win’, since he looked like the better troll to an unknowing audience. This led to a few black relationships that went nowhere (more on that later... hopefully), as it made his friends want to pay Kurtox back in his own coin.

While Kurtox’s friends created the rift that ultimately separated them, it’s worth mentioning that Kurtox made matters worse. He never once tried to understand or be patient. He never went out of his way to help them improve. He assumed they were just jealous of him and unwilling to work hard, and he never refused to talk back, simply because he’s that prideful. Kurtox can say whatever he wants about his class but it’s obvious that he can be just as chatty and insufferable as them.

The friends he’d made in his class were no more, and he couldn’t get along with trolls from other classes either. Rumors about him had spread around the academy, as it tends to happen to anyone who stands out from the rest for whatever reason. 

Most people don’t actually care about what’s being said about him, only indulging in the gossip because talking shit about others is fun. When the concept of 'the ideal student' is just some random guy who might not even be all that great, it's easy to dismiss it. This, however, doesn’t mean that those people don’t act strangely around him. Kurtox tends to approach others in a charming & flirty way; he’s heard “do you think you’re that interesting just because others gossip about you?” quite a bit, and it became boring after a while. Included in this group are those smarter ones that hear someone’s a rude fuck and stay away just in case.

Some others value the gossip, choosing to believe he’s a terrible guy who happens to be a genius. Whenever he meets someone like this, they usually speak like they’re expecting the self-important asshole to make an appearance, which isn’t exactly a great starting point to a relationship. 

Once, a pretty girl approached him with no cares for the negative gossip going around, and the two got on marvelously. This eventually led to a red romance that also ended poorly (i’m also leaving this for later... hopefully... I will say her name was Coruna, tho).

After all those failed attempts at getting along with trolls from other classes, he pretty much stopped seeking their company, at least seriously. Currently, Kurtox does have a few decent relationships with trolls from other years. Still, while he manages to have civil conversations with them, he seems to keep them at a distance so they don’t get to hurt him like his first friends did.

Kurtox has accepted that there’s very little about the academy that he doesn’t dislike.

Well. At least the canteen ladies are nice and cook well.

I THINK THAT’S IT??? fuuuck this got long. If you got this far I’m just... Amazed? And touched. Hopefully I’ll manage to make these more interesting instead of hitting y’all with the info dump. I’ll try, at least! :’)

[julia202020]

Ereri roleplay plots.

Since I'm bored all the time and stuff I have been looking for rp partners so I have a lot of plots to share and if you wanna rp just message me.. Mute AU – Levi (18) has been mute for almost 3 years now, after his mother was brutally murdered right in front of him. Levi goes to a therapist and learns sign language. Eren (21) is a support group leader and know sign language, Levi joins Eren’s support group like his therapist suggested and as the support group sessions progress Eren and Levi slowly get closer until on the Christmas party that was thrown for the support group Eren kisses Levi under the mistletoe and they start dating, once Levi got close enough to Eren he started talking again. Café love – Eren (24) owns a little café down town, he took over after the sudden death of his mother at the age of 18 and he loves the cute little café. Levi (23) is a just fresh out of uni artist, he comes into Eren’s café one night to get some inspiration but instead he and Eren fell in love and Eren becomes Levi’s muse. Arranged Marriage – Levi an 18-year-old uni student with an average life but suddenly his life gets flipped upsides down when his uncle tells him that he’s getting married. Eren the 20-year-old that suddenly is pushed into a marriage with another male for the benefit of his father’s business, the two males hate each other at the start of their arranged marriage but as time progresses they fall in love and don’t regret getting married. Reincarnation au – After Eren and Levi are brutally killed at titans they are reborn in the modern world without walls and titans and live normal lives, Levi is reborn as a 21-year-old that owns a tea house. Eren is reborn as a 20-year-old writer who writes about his life in the past, one day Eren bumps into Levi, quite literally, knocking Levi flat on his butt and the second they saw each other their feeling for each other instantly came flooding back into their lives, they slowly get to know each other and fall in love again. Wedding planner – Levi (24) is a very famous wedding planner and everyone wants him to plan their dream wedding. Eren (24) has just recently got engaged to Annie (26) and they came to Levi to plan their wedding, but since Annie is always busy Eren was stuck planning the whole wedding himself, but when it came to the day of the wedding Eren ran down the aisle away from Annie and pulled Levi into a passionate kiss. Omega x Alpha – Levi is the strongest omega to ever exist, they lived in a world where omegas were rare and since he was a male omega he was even more rare than female ones, he was also a police officer that everyone turned to for help. Eren Jaeger is a newbie policeman also one of the accident alphas that were hunted down for their DNA but no one so far has discovered Eren, the second Eren lays his eyes on the male omega he makes it his life goal to make him his omega. Rock star au – Levi (21) is the lead singer of a famous band called NO NAME, no one actually knows their identity because they always were always wearing bandages over their faces to hide their identity, but when they go on tour but a fan (Eren 18) sneaks onto their tour bus and finds their true identities and slowly falls in love with the lead singer while Levi slowly falls in love with the obnoxious brat. Best friends to lovers – Eren and Levi are both 16 years old, they’ve been friends since they were in kindergarten and since then they were attached at the hip, but Eren fell in love with Levi was starting to get a lot more nervous until one day when they were hanging out in Levi’s room Eren kissed Levi out of nowhere and that’s when Levi realized he was also in love with his best friend. Kitten & Puppies – Levi was a neko, a rare species of human that had genetics like a cat, he had the cute cat ears and tail and he was definitely more like a cat than a human. Eren is a rare species that’s a mix between a dog and a human, he had the fluffy tail and floppy ears and acted like a puppy. Hanji is a collector of different species and she owns Levi, but as soon as she adopts Eren he gets oddly attached to Levi and they end up falling in love. (Side note Levi can get pregnant) Punk turns soft – Levi (17) is the school’s punk. Everyone wants to fuck him or date him or be him. Eren (17) is the school’s adorable kid that everyone wants to hug or kiss or just cuddle. Eren had a huge crush on the punk and somehow they started talking and Eren changed Levi for the better and they started to date. Dance class – Eren is a dance teacher, he loves his job and loves dancing. Levi starts taking Eren’s class with his friend Hanji because she wants to do a competition with him as her partner. Levi takes a fancy to his teacher and Eren takes a liking to his student, as they go through class Eren and Levi grow closer and Eren asks Levi to dance with him in a competition and after they win the competition they start dating. Love on the battle field – Levi is a nurse in the army, taking care of injured soldiers. Eren is one of the best soldiers but on one mission he got injured badly and was sent under Levi’s care, Eren and Levi start talking and Eren falls in love, once both of them get dismissed Eren proposes and Levi gladly says yes. Movie stars – Eren and Levi are both movies starts and really good friends outside of filming. Eren is 24 while Levi is 19, they both work together in films making people ship them together, on one of the films the two males play as romantic interests and having to kiss which ends up with the two dating. Fix me – Levi is dating Erwin they’ve been a couple for almost 5 years and Levi was hopping Erwin would propose, he was madly in love with the male, but for Levi’s disappointment Erwin confesses to Levi on their 5 year anniversary that he’s been cheating on the raven, Levi instantly breaks up with him and runs to his best friend Eren, Eren has been there for Levi since day one but as they grow closer as friends and Levi dated Erwin, Eren fell in love and when heartbroken Levi came to his door he instantly pulling him close and trying to fix him and as time progressed Levi fell in love with Eren, he confesses to Eren on their 15 years of friendship anniversary and Eren is ecstatic. Angle with one wing – Levi was one of the angles that everyone knew, not because he was handsome, not because he was basically their rulers right hand, no, it was because he was only born with one wing, people never said anything but they pitied the male. Eren is a new angle, he was also burdened with one wing, his was pure white not creamy white like the others, whiles Levi’s is midnight blue. As so as Levi and Eren meet they fall in love and their missing wings appear, Levi having grown a matching white one like Eren’s while Eren growing a midnight blue one to match Levi. Children lovers – Eren and Levi are in grade school, they’ve been friends since the start of grade one and now being in grade 2 Eren heard about relationships, his friend Jean dears Eren to ask Levi to be his boyfriend, and when Levi says yes they start dating all the way to high school. After I come home – Eren is a marine, he’s also an alpha with an omega back home and a child, he fights every day to get back to his beautiful boyfriend and their 2-year-old daughter. Once Eren gets home to Levi and their daughter Carla some things happing making their relationship rougher than it was. But Eren works to fix it, Levi and Eren finally get married, and have another baby. Science and Love – Levi is a man that gave up his body up for science, also known as Hanji Zoe, who is his best friend, she wanted to change something about the male giving him the ability to become pregnant. Once the whole change was finished they needed to test it, so Levi and Hnaji went out to a bar, Levi and Eren hit it off and Eren takes Levi home and they do the do without using a condom. A week later Levi finds out he was pregnant, unfortunately for Levi, he bumps into Eren at work and Eren remembers him, they exchange numbers and Eren tries to get to know Levi but once Levi starts showing, Eren starts asking questions and when he finally finds out the truth he promises Levi that he’ll never leave him or the baby, and they start dating. Silly accusations – Eren and Levi have been a couple for at least 4 years, one night Levi comes home with lipstick on his collar that Hanji had left after hugging him, Eren noticing it starts to accuse Levi of cheating. Eren and Levi start fighting until Levi starts packing his things ignoring Eren’s yelling until Eren grabs him and Levi pushes him off, Eren starts begging Levi not to leave and one thing lead to another and Eren kisses Levi leading them to have make up sex. About an hour later Hanji calls Eren explaining how she accidently put her lipstick on Levi’s shirt and the two just laugh it off as Levi slept. Internet crush to real life husband - Levi and Eren are both well known youtubers, they both watch each other’s videos but they personally don’t know each other. One day Eren does a live stream answering questions from fans. One of his fans decides to asks Eren who his youtube crush is, Eren answers with Levi’s youtube name since no one actually knows Levi’s name. In Eren’s luck Levi was watching his stream and took the opportunity to tease the brunet. They decided to meet up at the biggest youtuber convention and they hit it off and start talking more, they eventually start dating and create a joined vlogging channel and film how they vlogged the whole experience, form moving in together and then getting married. Tattoos to love – Levi is a well known tattoo artist. Eren gets dared by his friends to get a tattoo done by Levi, when Eren meets Levi he takes a fancy to him and comes back to Levi to get more tattoos and they start talking and Eren finally gets the courage to ask Levi out on a date, after they spend a nice time together Eren and Levi go on more dates which leads them into a pretty serious relationship. Internet love - Eren loves the internet, he decided to get an internet friend to talk to, he got onto a website to find a friend and that’s where he meets the guy with the user name _Humanity’s_Strongest_, Eren wanted to get to know this guy and started talking as JeagerBombastic, and as they get to know each other Eren starts falling for him, then he and Levi decided to meet up and they start dating.

[msby]

“You’re such a bitch pala?”

by Cara Rosete (161732, 2 AB Communication)

People would say, genuinely surprised every time this five foot tall girl opened her mouth to say either her opinion or dark joke. 

I would hear this phrase constantly- from my family, friends, and sometimes nowadays, even myself. You would think that someone that seems wholesome, someone physically weak and short, someone that came from an all-girl Catholic school would only be associated with the words such as cute or friendly, yet somehow, I have earned the title of classic bitch- with a hard and rash B.

But why?

And more importantly, why does it not at all bother me one single bit?

According to Goffman and his Dramaturgical Model of Human Life as the Conceptual Framework for the Conception of the Self, we are all actors. We all have roles, which are basically the context we operate in. The audiences are obviously those who observe our actions, and attach meanings to any verbal and non-verbal cues we give them (whether it be international or unintentional). Clothing and dialogue, as well, are important factors that help the audience infer your character. Through these sign-vehicles, we create an impression that we both give and give off (Goffman, pp. 98-99).

Goffman distinguishes the two by saying that an Impression that we Give is one that is thoughtfully and purposefully constructed with intentional and voluntary actions. This is because we are aware of the meanings that are attached to these cues, henceforth, if we want to present ourselves a certain way, we are more likely to engage in that action (Goffman, pp. 100-101).

An example for me is that I come from a very educated background. I grew up in a very disciplined All-Girl Catholic school and am currently studying in one of the prestige collages in the Philippines. My class hence has me obligated to play a certain role in order to achieve coherence. I would intentionally do and say things that I know people associate with being disciplined, proper, and well-schooled. I make sure to always be mindful of my manners. I make sure to dress up accordingly and appropriately for a student. I make sure to always maintain a proper and efficient work ethic, without raising my voice or disobeying any orders. I make sure I do all that I can do to fit the ideals and values of being an Atenean and Povedan inside my identity. 

But is that who I truly am? Am I someone that is so well-behaved that I would obediently follow orders without any single objection?

Growing up, I would hear the word bitch being associated to women of power- females who assert and command themselves. This would connote her to being bossy or bitchy. It was something that I was told to avoid while growing up by my parents. I was always told to be compliant, respectful and full of grace. But how was being an opinionated and heart strong female the complete opposite of being courteous and feminine?

Goffman also talks about the Impression that you Give Off, which are the involuntary actions symptomatic to the actor. These are the actions you do unintentionally when you think no one is looking. These are the smaller gestures and more whispered words that you do not necessarily want other people to perceive you as. And this, I guess, is how I earned the title as “bitch” (Goffman, pp. 100-101).

Because I know, from the bottom of my heart, I am not meek. I am not coy. I speak my mind and defend my beliefs (even when I know it’s wrong). I am prideful. I am competitive and assertive, and have the guts to disagree and oppose. I secretly want to roll my eyes when someone says something I do not agree with or forces a statement on me without any justifiable reason. I push for debate when I believe I am right, and am disappointed when the other party simply surrenders without a single conviction. I breathe in passion, I breathe in ferver. And for some weird reason, being opinionated and commanding and a girl is not ideal. 

I always assumed that “bitch” was used for someone that is rude and uncaring of whether or not their actions and words hurt other people’s feelings. So how is being commanding and assertive automatically being a bitch? Even my family says that I’m the devil trapped in an angel’s body. I have the face of a anghel, but the heart and soul of a demonyo.

According to Grovetant and Cooper’s Model of Individuation in Family Relationship, child development focuses on the interplay between individuality and connectedness. There are four dimensions of the model: self-assertion, separateness, permeability, and mutuality. This engenders identity exploration. This model reflects a parent-adolescent relationship, and is vital interplay in order to transition from kid to teenager (Grovetant & Cooper, pp. 415-416).

Relating such concept with my life, I believe that there is a push and pull between my individuality and connectedness with my family. Most of the time, my individuality dominates my connectedness with them, thus me being labelled as the “independent” or “non-conformist” in our family of five. I was always the deviant growing up and had a hard time blindly obeying any orders from higher ups. I would always ask for reasons or explanation, and push for debate- which they absolutely hated. They thought it was me being disrespectful, I disagreed and said it was being tough. 

To add to the concept, I as well prefer to distinguish myself from my family. Both my parents are doctors and pushed for me to be an architect. However, being the rebel that I am, I went against their wishes and entered into Communication. When my family agrees on a consensus, I normally am the one that voices an opposing opinion. They find it annoying, I find it fun. And I guess, this won me the word as “bitch” in the family.

The last concept is New Media Relationship Development. Gesellschaft states that individualism does not equate to individual isolation. Humans by nature are social beings who live in social organization, which requires cooperation. However, as one’s individuality increases, individual priorities, personal goals, and interests triumph over that of the collective social group’s. In a highly individualistic society, individuals still forge interdependent relationships that are based under the following assumptions. The one assumption, however, that stands out to me the most is that one engages in an interdependent relationship mainly due to personal choice. One befriends someone because one wants to, not because they are being held at gunpoint and are forced to make friends (Greenfield, et al. p. 254).

I acknowledge such a concept, and this has allowed me to grow and shape my identity. I used to surround myself with people who were congruent with my role as an obedient and wholesome Christian. They thought I could do no wrong and would not go against any order given to me. In short, they perceived me to be a push over. This helped in shaping my identity further because the suppression of who I really was engendered the deviant in me to grow even stronger. 

People did not expect a voice out of me. In projects in Grade School, I would always watch passively and let someone else lead in fear that I would be viewed as too demanding. However, eventually, my real self gave way and peaked its terrifying head out. So you can imagine their shock when I finally opened my mouth to let out an opinion. 

Now, the people I choose to surround myself with are those who understand and accept me for who I am. Most of them, actually, are pretty similar in character. They know me beyond the goody-two-shoes I would normally be perceived to be, and know that I am willing to circumvent around rules and orders just to get things done. Surrounding myself with such accepting and similar people has encouraged me to continue being who I am today. They praise me for being efficient and leaderly. They admire and encourage my drive and passion. They do not disregard it and disguise it as being bossy or bitchy.  

Henceforth, call me a bitch all you want, I don’t care. If I get things done quickly and right, your ignorant comment will surely be the last on my mind. Actually, being called a bitch makes me work even harder now to be even more commanding and resilient. One thing I have said over and over again throughout this blog entry (which I will continue to repeat for good measures) is that I am stubborn. I am stubbornly in love with who I am. I am driven, opinionated, and filled with dark and offensive humor. I am not and was never the wholesome Povedan people peg me out to be. So, it is alright that people are surprised that I actually hold opinions and are not afraid to voice them out. This statement and their attitude towards me has shaped me to be even more competitive and strong-willed. 

And I’m not sure if it’s the deviant in me or me outright just being stubborn, but I like it just that way.

WORKS CITED:

Goffman, E. (1991). The presentation of self in everyday life. In J. Henslin (Ed.), Down to Earth Sociology (pp. 98-108). New York, NY: The Free Press.

Grotevant, H., & Cooper, C. (1985). Patterns of interaction in family relationships and the development of identity exploration in adolescence. Child Development, 56, 415-428.

Manago, A., Guan, S.A., & Greenfield, P. (2015). New media, social change, and human development from adolescence through the transition to adulthood. In L. Jensen (Ed.), The Oxford Handbook of Human Development and Culture: An Interdisciplinary Perspective (Ch. 32, pp. 519-534). NY: Oxford University Press.