#i have realized there is probably more like 15 scenes left. sad for me

[emilyjunk]

could we get a synopsis of what your ongoing fic is about?

To say that Regina is making an effort to be a better person would be, in her personal and superior opinion, an understatement. Just this morning in homeroom, for instance, after Kevin G. made a math pun that functioned as a raunchy innuendo truly so horrific that everyone in the vicinity lost several brain cells, Regina bit her lip so hard in an attempt to hold back her comment that she drew blood underneath her several layers of lip gloss. Growing pains.

Still, despite her efforts to change, she kind of thought senior year might not be that different. She thought everything would go back to normal, or at least some version of normal in which everything stayed the same except for her. Obviously not everything is about her, but, like, this is her moment of growth, hello? Can the universe not acknowledge that?

But it turns out that a semester of high school in which a math teacher is falsely accused of pushing drugs, a new girl with zero fashion sense wins Spring Fling Queen, and Regina gets hit by a bus is wont to transform the entire DNA of the senior class population. 

This is probably great news for everyone else. 

For Regina, well. Like a caterpillar in the chrysalis, she temporarily died. Only for 15 seconds, but still. Metamorphosis is a real bitch.

//

Anyway. Back to the point. 

So, Regina thought things might be the same this year, or at least similar enough that she could follow the initial blueprints of teenage socialization she’s been carefully crafting since 6th grade, barring a few modifications to fit her new and excruciating improved outlook on life. The world of course has other plans because it’s a cruel and unrelenting place (re: Regina got hit by a fucking bus). She’s attempting to adapt, but there are a few crucial changes to her life that are making it difficult, such as follows:

The Plastics become friends with the Art Freaks

Regina comes out 

Cady and Aaron break up

Regina joins the lacrosse team

Regina falls in love

[piratefalls]

welcome back to the latest edition of biweekly fic recs! as always, mind the tags, if you can't leave a nice comment don't leave one at all, and happy reading!

masterlist.

There's No Problem That San Diego Can't Solve by @historicallysam

Alex doesn’t even bother knocking; he simply twists the knob on the door and shoves it open. His eyes narrow as the door bangs against the wall and he sees Henry on the phone. Maybe (definitely) it’s rude but his blood is fucking boiling so he doesn’t really care.

All the Ocean was Sleeping by @sparklepocalypse

The worst part about being a siren in the modern era, Henry ponders as yet another ship flies past his cove at a speed that he knows will disturb the anemone gardens below, is the yacht bros. Between the sound of their vessels’ motors and the dissonant noise the humans call music, Henry’s singing has no chance of attracting anyone’s attention.

cause you're a classic, and i'm reckless by @firenati0n

“I've, actually, uh. I've never done this before.” At this, Henry stops short, takes a second as his gaze moves up and to the left, trying to recall something. “I've seen your films. You most certainly have done intimate scenes.” Alex clears his throat. He hopes his nerves aren't completely obvious, the slight waver in his voice about to give him away. “Yeah, well. Never with a man, so. Not at this scale, anyway.” “Would it help to, er, practice?" Henry winces a little as he says it, which does not inspire confidence. But Alex is shocked nonetheless. What the fuck?

Over Land and Sea by SatinBirds

Alex and Henry come from very different worlds, and still, they manage to find each other.

Clean Slate by smc_27

“Henry.” Pez comes over, puts both hands on Henry’s cheeks and looks him dead in the eye. “You are not a sad man who’s gotten dumped. You’re in the prime of your life, and I quite desperately need you to act like it.” “The prime of my life,” Henry scoffs, more incredulous than questioning. “I’ve just gotten out of a 15 year relationship, endured a divorce, am suffering an almost impressive case of writer’s block, and your hands are like bloody icicles.” Pez grins, doesn’t take his hands away. “Explain to me how this is my prime. Please.” Pez tilts his head, and sounds entirely serious when he says, “Literally anything can happen from here.”

in bloom by stutteringpeach

Yoo, can u hook me up with some flowers?? It's the busiest day of the year for florists. Alex texts Henry with a last minute request.

here is a map (with your name for a capital) by @alasse9

That day at the Rio de Janeiro Olympics, Alex comes across the very same Prince Henry who just dismissed him having a panic attack in a bathroom. The choice Alex makes then has ripple effects neither of them could have ever expected. What's the story like, when they actually are friends all along? “So, you’re going back to England tonight, and you’ll spend the next three days pretending you two are the closest and best of friends until we can put this mess behind us.” And there are reasons he hasn’t told anybody this, good reasons, even though he’s sure June and Nora saw through him ages ago. Faced with his mom’s disappointment, though, and with the realization that the entire world apparently thinks he hates Henry and would willingly shove him into a fucking cake, he can’t stay quiet. “But we are friends,” he says, vehement and serious. “We have been for years. He’s—he’s probably my best friend, actually, along with Nora.”

thoughts of you consume by yrsonpurpose

Henry sees Alex appear on the red carpet in a blue suit that screams sex on legs and is ready to throw away all attempts at concealing their secret relationship in the name of dropping to his knees at the first available opportunity.

eyes on me by matherine

Alex’s hips buck back against Henry’s mouth the moment his tongue does more than tease, and Henry squeezes his hip in gentle consternation. But before he can say anything, Alex is already rambling. “Sorry, I’m — I’m sorry, I know you said not to move, and I’m trying, I — I’m trying to be good, I promise,” he blurts, voice shaking ever so slightly from something that certainly doesn’t sound like pleasure, resolutely refusing to turn his head so that he can meet Henry’s gaze from where he’s positioned behind him. Henry’s heart aches. “Alex — love, it’s alright. Where’s your mind?” Or: Sometimes, Alex needs a distraction. Something to take the edge off, to scrub away at the stress of the day. Some days, it works better than others. 

the evolution of intimacy by Poutini

There’s no spontaneity anymore. One might think this boring. That the novelty had worn off. The spark snuffed. Absolutely not

Want Me by OrchidScript

Henry had always been weak for a nice smile, but his was impossible to ignore. Blame it on summer heat and a fresh flush in his cheeks. Blame it on sunset painting the outdoor bar sweltering, romantic colors. Blame it on two healthy glasses of albariño thrumming in his bloodstream, or the good music floating on the air. Henry could blame it on anything liked if he thought long and hard about it, but that didn’t change much at the end. The core remained the same: he had been gone from the jump. -- Henry and Alex hook up on a vacation in Spain. Henry falls a bit deeper.

fill my lungs with sweetness by @priincebutt

Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor wakes up at 3 AM on his birthday to an empty bed. What could Alex possibly be getting up to at 3 AM the night before his birthday? The possibilities are endless.

got myself in quite a tangle by coffeecatsme

"It seems I've gotten myself in quite a tangle." "Tangle?" Henry's voice is hoarse, eyes darkened as they travel over Alex's body. They stop at his crotch, and Alex can see it even under the dim lights—Henry's growing hard too, a visible bulge pushing at his sweatpants. Alex's cock gives a desperate twitch. "Y'know, I was trying to put them around the tree," he starts, gesturing at the plain tree at the corner. It's clear he didn't even attempt to touch it. "And somehow I've managed to completely trap myself. Can't even move my hands." Henry makes a desperate noise at the back of his throat as his eyes snap up to Alex's face. Alex flashes him a suggestive grin, teeth biting down on his lip. "Seems I'm completely at your mercy."

The Forces of Chance and Coincidences by @stellarm

Bad weather leads to a late flight that leads to no one being where they wanted to be, but maybe everyone was where they needed to be.

I've never felt safer (than when I'm with you) by viciouslyqueer

Alex takes the bag and opens it slowly, careful not to rip it, and gasps quietly as he sees what’s inside. “H, you didn’t…” Strong arms wrap around his waist from behind, Henry’s chest warm against his back. “Do you like it?” Henry asks in a whisper, resting his chin on Alex’s shoulder. Alex doesn’t know what to say. Gingerly, like he might ruin it with even the smallest touch, he takes out the silky fabric and holds it up in front of them. It’s a gorgeous dress, fancy too, in a deep red color with thin straps and an open back. It’s long, almost touching the floor even as Alex holds it up and has a slit on the left side that would probably end a little above Alex’s knee.

An Amateur's Guide to Professional Gift-Giving by anincompletelist

Alex, a former-law-student-taking-some-time-off turned professional part-time gift giver, is tasked with finding a gift for the most high profile client he's ever worked with, both in and out of the world of law. It turns out finding the perfect gift for the Prince of Wales might be easier than he'd anticipated.

Love At First Bark by everwitch

“I still don’t know your name, do I?” Henry watches Alex where he’s crouched down in front of David and gently scratching David below his chin. David absolutely loves Alex. Henry can relate. “It’s David,” Henry supplies. “Cool,” Alex says. “And what’s the dog’s name?” Henry blinks at him. “... David?” “What?” Alex exclaims. He looks from David to Henry and then back at David again. “Wow, okay, that is a choice.” Henry wants to sink through the earth and never come back up again.

don't let me get drunk again by headabovethewater

Alex had never wanted to cancel plans as much as he had while watching Henry pull a pair of light wash, tight jeans over his stockinged legs and bare ass. Christ, he’s getting hard thinking about it now.

The Beginner's Guide to Floristry by clottedcreamfudge

As if there's anything romantic about it; as if it's not the most humiliating death Alex can imagine. This is why he doesn't do relationships. This is why he never will. The risk, as far as he fucking sees it, is too great. -- Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible.

Everything you take, you make it better. So go on, take forever by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

It's 2024, and nobody knows they're engaged. But they will, just as soon as Alex can decide what to wear to his birthday dinner. Henry has an idea and a special gift to match.

false pretenses by rizcriz

Henry spins around, glaring at Alex. “For christs sake,” He hisses, holding a hand out between them. “Can we just not? I do not have the capacity to pretend to hate you today.” Alex splutters as Henry turns on his heel and starts to walk away. He stares after him helplessly. “Pretend?” After a beat, he starts to follow after him, “What the fuck do you mean pretend?” Three years of breathing down each others necks, fighting every time they come in contact with each other. And if Henry is saying every single thing on his end has been pretend, Alex Claremont-Diaz is going to have a fucking breakdown. Because he has been harboring this stupid fucking crush and burying it beneath false antagonism, meeting Henry where he’s at, for three years, and if Henry is implying that they’re both faking it— -- or, Alex learns better.

turn the desert to glass (you would be the one) by @taste-thewaste

Henry and Alex's domestic bliss has lead to some changes in Henry's body. Henry doesn't really mind being a little chubby, but he wonders if Alex does. Alex, it turns out, does not. Not one bit. He does not mind one bit, and he is more than eager to prove it.

coming on fast like good dreams do by cricketnationrise

When Henry recovers from his unexpected factory reset, he still can’t really breathe properly and somehow Alex is still standing in front of him with a hopeful and excited expression on his face. “Run that by me again?” he asks faintly. “I need your help.” “Right…” “I need you to edge me. Like a lot,” Alex says with a shrug. Nope, it’s not any clearer a second time around.

as always, let me know if you want to be tagged in future lists, whether you're a reader or writer!

tagging @starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp @sarahjswift @enablelove

[chaoortu]

after hearing your thoughts on Nick’s friendships in the comic/show, i’m curious to know what you think of the scene in S1E7 where Elle tells Tao that Nick and Charlie are dating.

it always left a weird taste in my mouth. Charlie was already worried about telling Tao, and it just makes me so upset every time i watch it.

but it especially makes me sad when i think about it from Nicks point of view. i don’t know if i’m being too judgmental or nitpicky, but i don’t remember a time when Nick said he was okay with his sexuality being talked about outside of the small group that already knew. yes, he came out to most of the friend group, but he was still figuring things out and there were still a lot of people he had yet to tell. with each of his friends, coming out was a really big deal for him so it kind of sucks more knowing that decision was taken away from him in that moment.

also, it was always a weird change to me since in the comics, Charlie is the one to tell Tao about their relationship.

i love Elle so so much, this scene just really caught me off guard the first time i watched it

tbh! I always wonder if it was changed for Elle to do it to add more to the Charlie anorexia plot. Things are outside Charlie's control-- Charlie starts controlling things the way he knows he can through food. But I also think Elle revealing that Nick and Charlie are dating comes from a place of their relationship being very OBVIOUS to anyone with eyes, but also a nod to the fact that Elle may feel more entitled to sharing Charlie's business because she and Charlie were being bullied at the same time and became friends (iirc), but also because she saw how much the secret keeping was hurting Tao and wanted to help that. It's for real one of those moments that highlights how messy Charlie's friendgroup is? Part of that is just age, I feel like 15 year olds tend to get messy and Tao especially is sooo prone to being messy just because he is the way he is, but the thing he and Elle have in common is this attraction to drama, "tea" if you will. Charlie's also prone to it, and so is Isaac, but I think the drama amplifies with Tao-- which beyond Charlie protecting Nick, is also probably why he didn't want to tell Tao at first because Tao would make it a huge deal and run the risk of outing Nick. Something I think that is worth mentioning is that while Nick isn't prepared to be out as a couple or to the rugby team, he never explicitly tells Charlie whether or not it's okay to share his sexuality/their relationship with his friends, and it seems like Nick actually assumed that Charlie WOULD tell them because he knows how close Charlie and his friends are

That and like-- he knows Charlie's friends are safe people vs. like the rugby lads who have participated in like homophobic talk and behaviors where coming out could put him and Charlie in danger. Although, Nick's issue with coming out before he realizes he's bi actually seems to be that he's not ready to come out because he doesn't know what his label is and that bugs him for a while, the not knowing. Because the thing is that Nick has always been really proud to be Charlie's boyfriend. I do agree though that his initial coming out was such a big deal to him, but the thing with being queer is that you basically spend your entire life coming out over and over again. We see Nick get comfortable with his "I'm bi, actually's" in season 2 as he becomes more secure in his identity as a bi man, but I do think he sincerely just assumed that if he was going to be Charlie's partner, than Charlie probably would've told his friends because... if Nick is a man dating another man, he's gotta be queer someway? I'm pretty sure Nick only ever shares that he thinks he's bi with Tara and Darcy

[rat-a-toot]

I think it's just me and im probably going crazy but is anyone else that's obsessed with good omens just listen to random songs and when it gets to certain parts of the song, you'll be like "OMG IT'S THEM. "

example number 1.

I was walking to school today listening to the neighborhood when reflections came on. OMG....

"Where have you been?

Do you know when you're coming back?

'Cause since you've been gone

I've got along but I've been sad"

Crowley after aziraphale left him 😔😔😔

"i tried to put it out for you to get

Could've, should've but you never did

Wish you wanted it a little bit

More but it's a chore for you to give"

Crowley's pov with him showing how much he loves aziraphale but aziraphale not showing it back?

"we were too close to the stars" THE SCENE WHEN CROWLEY WAS CREATING THE NEBULA

"falling just as hard"

AHHHHHH when crowley fell from heaven OR when he fell for aziraphale 😭😭😭😭

"I rather lose somebody than use somebody"

aziraphales pov when he "abandoned" Crowley in season 2???? he rather loses the friendship (or more...) with Crowley than use him (as protection??? maybe aziraphale thinks that he should fend for himself after all that Crowley has done for him and doesn't want to get Crowley in danger )

"maybe its a blessing in disguise"

is this our hint after what happened in season 2💀

"I see your reflection in my eyes"

that one interview when Micheal sheen said that he could always see himself in David's Crowley sunglasses.

OR

that one scene when Crowley thought he lost aziraphale after the bookshop burned down and he was drinking when aziraphale appeared in the reflection of his sunglasses... OMGGGGG

"Hoping you fix whatever's broken"

aziraphale trying to "fix" the situation up in heaven as he's the new supreme Archangel. "we can make a difference" as he said in the last 15.

"You and I were bright, shooting through the sky daily"

NEBULA SCENEEEEEE

"Yeah, every time that we realized it's crazy

And you save me"

Crowley always having to come to aziraphales rescue 😭😭

example 2.

Lana Del Reys "chemtrails over the country club"

"your in the wind"

ERM, THE SCENE WHEN THEY SWITCH BODIES AND CROWLEY'S IN AZIRAPHALES BODY STANDING IN THE FIRE TORNADO.

"I'm in the water"

excuse me, CROWLEY'S BATHTUB SCENE???

I'm literally crazy over them sorry guys😹I think I'm probably delusional and crazy

[teriwrites]

The Fatal Choice: Part 3

My Live Reactions to Reading Through My 2013 Novel

Delroy is not, in fact, gone

‘The longer it took them to realize he was gone, the less of a chance there would be of him being caught.’ literally everyone knows you’re leaving, bud

He’s saying alcohol has been forbidden… earlier he explained that alcohol was their primary beverage bc the water was unclean??

This scene of Delroy hiding in the griffin’s stable is one of only two scenes I actually had a vague memory of in this draft

The dickwad arranged to marry Raelyn (looks like that’s off btw) is actually defending her to his dad

Delroy started riding with one hand on the reins, and the griffin looked back mid-flight to level a dry look at him lmaooo

Bro the Isolates are literally set up like two days away from the capital by griffin(/horse)… that’s not really that isolated lol

Apparently this nation works on a barter system, fun!

Awwwwwwwww he pricked his finger to test the sharpness of his arrowhead (as a diabetic, I love a fingerprick moment)

(That said, I was not a diabetic when writing this and had no intentions other than testing the arrowhead lol)

‘Delroy grabbed a handkerchief and put pressure on the cut. Then he wrapped it around his finger to keep the small cut from getting infected. That was the last thing anybody needed.’ okay then maybe don’t test its sharpness on your own finger???

Raelyn, I know you’re sad your crush left and is probably going to die, but please get a grip

I say that 90% as a joke but fr this woman needs some Direction, some Reason to have her own POV

Like?? ‘There was nothing outside worth getting out of bed for. Delroy was gone already.’ Girl Please

Her father truly made zero attempts to wheedle the truth of Delroy’s whereabouts from her, she just had to say ‘I’m not his maid, dad!!!!’ and Hayden just immediately stfu

Anyways they for sure know he left now

‘Admittedly, he probably wasn’t much to look at. His face hadn’t been washed, his teeth not brushed, and he had laid in the dirt a couple times on the past day.’ okay genuinely I’m so proud of 2013 Teri’s consistency in characterization (it’s not just Delroy’s tidiness, but this is the easiest trait to demonstrate for that rn), like it’s a little heavy handed at times but that’s what it needs to be when starting out!!

Bro this guy waltzes up to the gates of the capital and only on being asked what his business is realizes he doesn’t have a cover story

“I am here to visit family,” Delroy explained, though he wasn’t at all. He was there to try and break out some prisoners, but something told him that they wouldn’t be so receptive if they knew that.’ still goofin’

I’m gonna level with you, I don’t think 15-year-old Teri really knew what bergamot smells like

You can tell I was doing research into aromatherapy (the ‘why’ will come later)

Once again, characterization: Delroy’s first act in the inn room he’s renting is to hang up all of his clothes

Ending Thoughts:

Okay!! I feel like these little wrap-ups are shorter than previous projects’, and I think that’s for a couple reasons. Firstly, I only have access to 42.5K of this WIP, so the sections are shorter. But also, we’re reaching the start of what I’m gonna call the ‘mediocre midsection’ (yes we’re not near the midsection, just bear with me). Starting with a WIP from when I was 13, there’s a lot of heavy extremes in the writing - the wildest, most entertaining nonsense, and the worst, most backwards BS. Lots of ups and downs, not much in the middle. As we push into the space where there’s less of those extremes, we find a much more present degree of simple, inoffensive mediocrity. Not too many standout highlights, lowlights are a little less heinous. Just a lot of plain spoken sentences filled with unnecessary detail for every action made in a scene. That’s not a bad thing, to be clear! I’m so proud of how much maturation I can see between 2012 and 2013. I took a huge step forwards as a writer in that year. The mediocre midsection is essential on the road towards what will hopefully be a little nicer later on. It just doesn’t make for as many entertaining over-the-top reactions.

[prettygoododds]

20 Questions for fic writers

Thanks @wellbelesbian for tagging me. Such fun questions! Tags below the cut.

How many works do you have on AO3

68! Wow, I did not realize this.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

134,335

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Carry On Series aka Simon Snow fandom aka Snobaz

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When the Ink Dries

Can I Change My Mind (this one blows my mind, how it continues to stay at the top)

Namaste Away

Every Lover Has A Little Dagger In Their Hand

We're So Starving

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or Why not?

I try to, but I'm very bad at it. It's something I need to work on.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

We Were Pity Sex, Nothing More and Nothing Less It doesn't even pretend to be kind.

Also, I'm Right Where You Left Me It's short, but cuts right to the bone.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of mine do have a happy ending (when I go sad, I go hard). If I had to choose a few, I suppose:

Where Did the Party Go?

Believe

Namaste Away

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. Had a few recommendations on how to tag a few works, or to make it more user friendly but everyone has always been very kind with those suggestions. The Carry On fandom is a really good fandom.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I'm slowly dipping my toes in that water. I've posted a few works that have smut, but I'm still very tentative about it. I don't know what kind really. Regular?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do not

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but I'm not opposed to it.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Snobaz, hands down. It's the one I come back to every time. My comfort ship.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have 2 WIP currently and both of those will be finished. My other WIP not on AO3 are just sitting in my google docs, where no one can see them shivering in the corner, neglected.

16 What are your writing strengths?

Oof. I'd like to think I'm good at dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions and setting a scene. I'm working on it though, and that's the important bit I suppose *shrugs shoulders in Simon*

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Not something I've attempted. I won't say I never will, but I will probably not unless I absolutely have to

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Somewhere, in the depths of fanfic.net are my abandoned Twilight fics. And that is where they will stay until the death of the planet.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I have a few and when I'm questioning why I think I should be doing this at all, I read them to remember I started because I wanted to write the stories I wanted to read.

When The Ink Dries - I started this fic waaaaay before I ever posted it and it was the reason I decided to participate in my first Carry On Big Bang. It's my fic first born.

I'm Not A Pitch - This fic popped my AO3 cherry. I posted it before I could second guess myself. It's full of errors, but I wouldn't change anything about it.

Vibe Check - I wrote this in a few hours when I was feeling silly and it is still one of my favorites

Who Wants Ramen? - My friend and I giggled endlessly when I plotted this one out.

You Can Call Me Babe for the Weekend - I spend a lot of time listening to music and plotting out the story that a 3-4 minutes song can tell. 'Tis the Damn Season was an immediate movie in my head and as soon as I could plot it out and put it on paper (so to speak) I did.

And last but not least Sugar, We're Going Down Swingin - This is pure self indulgence. I got into hockey, I wanted the boys to be hockey players...bam, here's a fic with almost no hockey in it, but sometimes they talk about it.

I'm don't know who's already been tagged, so sorry if I double up:

@facewithoutheart @imagineacoolusername @artsyunderstudy @shemakesmeforget @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ionlydrinkhotwater @rimeswithpurple @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla @blackberrysummerblog @nausikaaa @supercutedinosaurs @nightimedreamersworld @valeffelees @iamamythologicalcreature @shrekgogurt @ileadacharmedlife @martsonmars @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[falasta]

🧵 What's your favorite production and why?

✍️ If you had total creative control over a production of Cats, what would you change and why?

🐾 How did you 'discover' Cats?

it's a me, @cryptidvoidwritings

A ME!

Look how long I've been siting on this beautiful ask 😭

All of this is keeping in mind I've only been "in" to Cats for the past three years, and I've actually seen a limited number of productions.

Favorite just has to be Vienna Revival. Not to say other past productions haven't been as amazing, but this is the one I saw in the theater and am most attached to. The amazing cast. The beautiful theatre. The teeny tiny stage which squished everyone together. The incredible interaction between all the cats. The gorgeous makeup and costuming. I will never ever ever ever ever be over Vienna. I mourn everyday for its closing 😭

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA If I had total creative control?

Dump ALW and any influence he might have. Resurrect Gillian Lynne would be an option if I could managed it ajsdklfaj;

Hire back Karen Dawson and give her creative control over makeup. Emphasize individual looks based on each performer.

Allow different productions to use their own designs as desired.

I don't need to say that Pekes & Pollicles will henceforth be put back in it's proper place as *Munkustrap's Song* and the cutest, silliest moment on the musical. I will never ever ever forgive RUG for dumping it and creating that unholy mishmash of P&P with Growltiger than does a disservice to both.

Overhaul Growltiger put keep the panto pirates and let the crew be part of the action! Growltiger is *enormously* important. What the people who crudely substituted P&P for it seem to have completely missed (I have no idea how), is that Growltiger is a FLASHBACK. It's a silly fun pantomime with the Cats playing "characters" in Gus's mind. When the scene ends Gus is left alone, reliving a scene and seeing an audience that no one else can. It's sad moment full of pathos. When Gus slowly walks off stage it's with the cats that love him mourning his loss. Which is WHYYY they call for Skimbleshanks because Skimbleshanks cheers everyone up!

Find all the cats alums, especially those that worked with Gillian, and get their opinions, thoughts, and expertise worked into the productions. Pay and treat them well enough that you get experienced Cats back on stage teaching the younger ones

Do I even have to say keeping Gillian's choreo?? Also bring back the entire Ball including British Airways.

Bring back the swings and stop cutting Electra and George and Etcetera

Round theater or thrust stage!

Get rid of NuGriz and bring back the original

Letting productions have more creative control in general

I know Covid ruined it but give me allllll the audience kitties

Bring Vienna cast back to the Ronacher and never let them leave 😂

Discovering Cats!

So I grew up in the 80s and 90s and Cats was absolutely everywhere in popular culture. But the only time I actually saw the production was when I was quite little (probably around 4 or 5 years old). I have a vivid memory of the cats creeping along the theater and hanging over the balconies. I thought it amazing but mostly I thought it was terrifying and I *really* didn't like the makeup or costumes because I didn't think they looked like cats!

Scoot forward to 2019 when I put the Movie on for a lark and then about 15 minutes in decided I need to see the stage musical - since I couldn't remember enough about it.

And holy COW was I blown away!!! My background is more in dance than anything else, and M&R was the first number I watched. After that it was Old Deuteronomy and that's when I realized that Cats was about Dancing and the music for Old D was so beautiful that I ditched watching the movie and found 1998 instead. Fell for Munkustrap and Tugger immediately and went searching for fanfiction XD I'll say from the moment I watched Cats I never got any sense that any of them were "related". The idea of brothers or mates or sisters or Dad or whatever really didn't factor in. They were just actual cats all thrown in together. So I really consider all the extra stuff just fanon.

[minniepetals]

How much did you cry after writing after each chapter of 'Cry me a river'

I really cried a river, I haven't been like this overwhelmed for a long time and trust me I have to go back time to time to BTS content to realize that they are kind men irl. Gosh you were so good at writing angst, makes me hate you because I fell into deression after reading this but I LOVE YOU A LOADS!!!

and can I know how many chapters are left 'cause I feel like I might get some panic attack (atleast a guess??)

it's hard writing it and wondering if i've gotten my message and emotions across lmao but i can tell you my imaginations be wild because a lot of the sad scenes, i always end up crying.

as for how many chapters left, haha... 💀

i'll break it down to help the both of us lmao. there's 3 chapters left of the norway arc, after that there's probably gonna be another huge thing going on with y/n and the boys (particularly namjoon) -- which may be an estimate of hopefully only 2 chapters. then we're meeting a new "enemy" that may be 2/3 chapters, after that another huge thing with the boys (particularly namjoon) which hopefully will be 1 chapter, then probably the REVEAL! which will maybe be 2/3 chapters? and then another important thing going on, which may be 2 chapters. after that, y/n's meeting her final enemy in the new york arc which will hopefully be 3-ish chapters, and then finally the healing arc which will continue on for maybe a while lmao.

those estimated chapters for the upcoming arcs are probably not reliable (aka will likely be more) because i tend to write more and drag on (not to mention i'd like to add some moments with the other boys as well -- like when i added yoongi with nari and jk with alexander)

so in conclusion there's still 15+ chapters left... 😮‍💨

[pluviatrix]

i was going to leave this as a comment on ASTCB itself, but it felt too personal. you don't have to post this, considering the personal bit 'n all, but you are welcome to if you feel so inclined! i won't mind. sorry in advance for splashing this into your askbox on tumblr of all things, but also thank you for reading.

i need you to know that i never thought i would relate with twilight of all links. i did not even know that i could do that until i read your piece and it filled me with words and then wrung them right back out of my soul until i was sobbing right along next to twilight. i've been dealing with mental health issues for a very long while but they have been getting really bad recently, and the way you wrote twilight's own long-term grapple with the same instilled something so Whole and understood into my being.

you didn't get rid of it, either. it wasn't cured, didn't get moved to the back burner or forgotten after a few paragraphs and never mentioned again. it was there throughout the whole piece. it was nice. i definitely didn't feel alone in my experiences while i stood next to twilight to watch as the story unfolded, and while it might sound sad that it took a fictional character to ease my mind, i don't think i mind. comfort in weird places, or whatever.

your writing feels like balm on a sunburn that just refuses to go away. the ending left me crying like a babe in the weirdest (/pos) mix of emotions i've felt to date. the scene where warriors asks if twilight has a death wish rattled me so badly because it hit Close. i realized a few things, just then, and had to take a very gentle moment for myself ( i cried into a pillow). the scene nestled itself right under my ribs and i've still not been able to pry it out just yet, and i don't think i'll even attempt to anymore. it deserves to be there as far as i'm concerned. it serves as a good reminder, but so does the entirety of ASTCB. so.

i didn't know i could relate with the country bumpkin, the absolutely limp-wristed horsegirl supreme with a cowboy hat, but i'm glad that it was with you that i did. thank you so fucking much, and if you ever write more i will be right there waiting to experience the story you decide to tell us all over again.

okay, so, i've read this whole thing probably 15 times over and after several days of internal debate i decided to post it mainly because i afear the machinations of a tumblr inbox and i dont wanna lose it in the gears

just.. like,,, nodding. yeah. this is what i wrote it for

[kpop---scenarios]

Torn Apart (2 Final)

Pairing: Surprise! x Reader

Warning: Smut, Sadness, Angst Maybe? Mean People

Word Count: 5.4k

It had been weeks. 

Weeks of sobbing into your pillow, weeks of feeling like things were going to get better, until you found the most insignificant thing that belonged to Chanyeol and you broke down all over again. You missed him. You missed his touch, his warmth, his smile, the way he made you laugh when you were sad. You missed it all. You were broken, and it was all Chanyeol's fault. 

Until you scrolled through Instagram, and saw pictures of him with Maya, that bitch. You had never hated anyone in your life until you had met her. You couldn't even begin to fathom what even slightly redeeming qualities Chanyeol saw in her, but apparently there was something to that wench.

You were curled on your couch in the fetal position as you cried at the ending of Strong Girl Bong Soon. You wished you had a love like that. The way An Minhyuk loved Bong Soon was the relationship you wanted, the one you would strive for. He loved her so much and you just wanted to be loved by someone like that. 

You groan loudly as your doorbell rings, and then whoever pounds on your door. You didn't want visitors, you didn't care who it was, you wanted to hermit. 

"What?" You yelled from the other side of the door. 

"Y/N, let me in." You hear from the other side. You recognized the voice immediately. 

"Baekhyun, I look like a troll. Kindly leave." You sigh. 

"Y/N, if your trolly ass doesn't let me in, I will break down your door." He threatens, which makes you laugh for the first time in days. You both knew he would never be able to do that, and he would likely end up hurting himself. 

"Baek, you would break your leg." You say, pulling the door open. On the other side was a sympathetic Baekhyun, who had tissues, ice cream, chocolate and a bag full of movies. You smile at his kindness. "You know I have Netflix right?" 

"Shut the fuck up and move, this shit is cold." He barks, moving past you and into your kitchen. "Look, I have all the necessities. We will get you through this. Because I for one, cannot stand the sight of Mayeol and I want to gouge my eyes out, and I need someone to do it with." 

"I don't understand how that has anything to do with me." You say, grabbing two spoons.

"Sehun is gone, he's so in love with those two, hes bordering being a psychopath, Jongdae and his wife are just tolerating, Suho, Kai and Kyungsoo are avoiding them like the plague and Minseok and Lay have been MIA, so you're my last hope, Y/N." 

"I really don't want to talk about him, Baek." You admit, the hole in your heart somehow feels larger than before. 

"That's fine, I'll stop, let's start a movie." He suggests, grabbing a random one out of his bag. 

And for the next few hours, that's all you guys did. You watched movies, making comments, laughing and you genuinely had a good time with him. It had been so long since you actually felt happy and you were grateful to Baekhyun for bringing at least a little joy back into your life. 

Until he left, and you were alone again. All the feelings came rushing back, except they hurt a little less this time. You didn't miss him quite as much. 

** 

The next day, at the same time, your doorbell rang again. You open the door, your eyes puffy and bloodshot and you see Baekhyun standing there again, a new flavor of ice cream in hand, a new kind of chocolate, and a new bag of movies. This time he said nothing to you, instead pushed his way past you and through the door, setting everything down on your living room table as he popped in the movie. You smiled to yourself before turning around to join him, it felt nice to be cared about, and the fact that he was going out of his way to do this for you, and make you feel better. You truly appreciated Baekhyun. 

As he sat there and watched the movie, you watched him. The way his eyes lit up at a part of the movie he enjoyed, the face he made when he took a bite of his ice cream, the wrinkle he had in his nose when there was a cheesy scene. You never truly noticed how handsome Baekhyun was until now. His distinct jawline, his large hands, his toned body, you briefly.. very briefly began to wonder how large his..

"No Y/N, no. Do not go there with your existing bestfriend." 

You quickly shake off the thought, moving your eyes to the TV screen, trying to focus. 

"How are you feeling today?" Baekhyun asks, sliding his phone back into his pants pocket. 

"A bit better, I guess." You answer. Before Baekhyun could say anything there was another knock at the door. "That's good." He smiles, standing up. "There are some people who wanna see you." He says, opening the door. 

Minseok, Suho and Kyungsoo file through the door, looking at you with pity as they all sit, surrounding you.  

"Hiiiii." Suho pouts, protruding his bottom lip. "How are we feeling today?" 

"Um, hi." You laugh. "I'm fine." 

"Oh good, so we can go." Kyungsoo pipes up, standing up and walking towards the door. 

"Sit." Minseok sighs, pointing back at the seat. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, shuffling back to his spot and flopping down. 

"She's fine, Chanyeol is fine, so why are we here? Everyone is fine." He groans. 

"Have you seen him? Is he fine?" You hesitantly ask. You weren't even sure if you wanted to know. 

"Oh he's more than fine." Kyungsoo groans. "He and Maya are all over each other all the time. It's honestly nauseating. Like I want to be able to eat my sandwich without hearing your girlfriend moan when you kiss her." He gags. 

You bite your bottom lip as you slowly nod your head, tears welling in your eyes. These were most definitely details you did not need to hear about your ex and the girl he cheated on you with. All the men whip their heads to look at you, who now had your head hanging low as your shoulders shaked. They all look back at Kyungsoo, with only one speaking up.  

"That's it." Baekhyun growls. "Kyungsoo, get out." He spits, pointing to the door. 

"What did I do?" Kyungsoo asks, innocently. Baekhyun rolls his eyes, looking at you, softly whimpering into the sleeves of your sweater. 

"Out. Now." Baekhyun says, giving him the middle finger before flinching as Kyungsoo stands up, whispering "Don't hurt me."

"Don't listen to him." Minseok sighs. "Kyungsoo has zero social cues, he also could not read a room if his life depended on it." 

As Kyungsoo opened the door to leave, in rushed Lay, who looked at the man leaving and just nodded his head, realizing he had probably said something rude and was asked to leave. It wasn't the first time and would not be the last either. 

"Y/N." Lay breathes. "How do you feel about tall, muscular men who sing?" He asks. 

"I do enjoy them. Why?" You ask. 

"I have a friend from the hospital.. I think you two would get along really well. He's in his third year of surgery residency and is looking to date. I may have shown him your picture and he instantly said yes." He tells you. 

You look around the room, Suho and Minseok are nodding enthusiastically, while Baekhyun sits with his arms crossed against his chest, and a pouty look on his face. 

"What do you think?" You ask Baekhyun. He looks up at you, his face softening immediately. 

"I uhh, it's up to you. Yanno, if you're into muscular, tall men.." he mumbles.

"You know what? Sure, yes, I will. Chanyeol and Maya are out there living their best lives while I'm sitting here sulking, mourning a love that clearly didn't mean as much to him. So yes I will go out with him." You announce, perking up already. "When?" 

"Tonight." Lay says. "More specifically, an hour." 

"I need to get ready." You smile, jumping from your seat to rush to your room. You slowly peak your head around the corner, softly smiling at your friends. "Thank you, you guys. You've all really helped me these last weeks. I greatly appreciate you all." You finish, heading back into your room to quickly throw yourself together. 

By the time you were done, you had 15 minutes to spare, and you were damn proud of what you accomplished in the last 45 minutes. You showered and shaved to become a hairless human from the eyelashes down, you managed to get the knots out of your hair and it looked in decent shape, as well as hide the semi-permanent redness of your eyes with a lot of makeup. You almost didn't recognize yourself in the mirror when you looked. You didn't see the heartbroken girl anymore, you saw someone confident, hot and worthy of a great love. 

Stepping out into the living room you blush at all the 'oohs and ahhs' from your friends. 

Except for Baekhyun. 

When you looked at him, his eyes shined and for some reason it made your heartbeat a little faster. You watched his eyes trail up and down your body, seemingly taking in every curve, every inch of you. When he notices you staring, he clears his throat and looks away. "You look prettyish." He mumbles as he walks away, there's a knock at the door. Baekhyun is the one to answer and looks up at the tall man. 

"You must be.." he begins, moving out of the way, letting the man walk in. 

"Hi." He smiles at you. "I'm Matthew." He says, holding out his hand. 

"Hi Matthew." You grin. "Y/N." You finish, introducing yourself. 

"It's really nice to meet you. You look phenomenal." He says, holding your hand up to spin you around. You can't help but let out a loud laugh as a blush spreads across your cheeks. 

"Thank you." You whisper. "Shall we?" 

He waves to Lay and everyone else before taking your arm in his and leading you out the door. You left three excited men behind you and one who felt annoyed but didn't quite know why. 

** 

You hadn't laughed so hard until tears rolled down your cheeks and you held your stomach for a very long time. You honestly were surprised at how much you and Matthew had in common. You both enjoyed the same type of music, food, and pastimes. You had yet to meet someone who loved the same authors as you, who enjoyed doing your favorite activities and who genuinely seemed like a great person but here he was, sitting right in front of you at this nice restaurant. 

"I have to admit something." Matthew begins. Your stomach drops as you feel like he's going to tell you he's married or has a girlfriend, something that's going to make you lose trust in men, again. 

"Go on." You say, forcing a smile before taking a sip of your drink. 

"I really like you." He grins. "It's insane, I have never met someone I had so much in common with until tonight." 

"I was just thinking the same thing." You laugh, feeling relieved at his confession. You liked Matthew, he seemed as though he would be good for you and treat you right, although you thought that Chanyeol would do the same and look how that turned out. 

Beep 

Beep 

Beep 

Matthew's pager beeps incessantly. He takes it from the waistband of his pants, checking the page and stands up abruptly. "I'm so sorry." He sighs. "I have to go, there was an accident and I'm needed in the OR." He explains. 

"Go." You say, waving your hands to emphasize. 

"I had a wonderful time Y/N, and I hope I get to see you again." He grins. He places down a few hundred bills on the table before kissing your hand, and with a wink he was off and your heart was pumping fast as red spreads across your cheeks. 

Oh boy. 

Your blush is still present as you walk through the door of your apartment. You see Baekhyun sitting on your couch with his arms crossed as he watches a show, not even acknowledging your presence. 

"Why are you still here?" You ask, tossing your purse on the chair. 

"I wanna hear all about Matthew." He mimics, rolling his eyes. "How was your date?" 

"It was really nice. We have a lot in common, which is strange. He seems really nice and we get along amazingly. He was paged into surgery so it ended early." You tell him. "So cool." 

"Oh wow, surgery huh?" Baekhyun says, nodding his head. "Did I tell you I'm auditioning for a band?" He smiles. 

"Are you really?" You ask, a little shocked. 

"Maybe." He says, clearing his throat, turning back to the show. 

You sit beside him, you dress riding up just a little to expose your thigh. You're focused on the show, barely realizing that Baekhyun has now rested his hand on your bare thigh, his thumb lightly rubbing the same spot. 

Why did you feel butterflies? Why was your pussy throbbing? It's probably just friendly, there's no way Baekhyun has feelings for you. 

Right?

As the show played on, your eyes became increasingly droopy, feeling the exhaustion and excitement of today finally catching up with you. Your eyes slowly close as you lean your head back onto the couch. 

You weren't sure when it happened, but you woke up, what you're assuming is a few hours later with your head on Baekhyun's lap while he gently rubbed your head, running his fingers through your hair. Your body shivered at the gentle sensation and you closed your eyes once again, feeling safe and happy as you dozed off. 

** 

When you woke up the next morning, you were laying on the couch, alone with a blanket draped over you. Your eyes searched your apartment and there was no sign of Baekhyun.  You had no idea when he had left but a part of you felt a little hurt that he left without saying goodbye to you. You rolled yourself off the couch and shuffled into your room, changing your clothes to something more comfortable. 

When you were done you made your way to the kitchen to find food when your front door opened. In walked Baekhyun with a large bag from your favorite food place. 

"You didn't." You grin. "It's so far away." 

"I did, and it was worth it to see the look on your face." He laughs, setting the bag down on the table. 

The two of you sit down, and have breakfast together and chat. You hadn't realized that Baekhyun actually had a lot in common with you as well. You didn't know why the two of you had never talked about these things but you felt like it was a crazy coincidence that two men match with you so well. Although you knew Baekhyun's feelings were strictly platonic, there was no way that he felt anything romantically for you. 

"I gotta go to work, but we'll hang out later, if you're up for it?" He asks, throwing his garbage away. 

"Of course." You smile. You look in his eyes, his beautiful brown eyes and you just want to melt. You liked Baekhyun, alot. Maybe it was just from how good he's been treating you lately, or maybe the feelings were real, you would never know because you were going to focus on changing your feelings for Baekhyun to feelings for Matthew, someone you knew you actually had a chance with. 

** 

Later that day you were doing some work on your computer for the company you work for, luckily you're able to do your work from home, giving you plenty of time to be free during the day for activities. You're brought out of your zone by a text from Matthew, asking you if you wanted to grab a late lunch around 2pm, and immediately your mood changed, and you happily replied that you would love to. 

At 1:50pm, you sat at the restaurant, a drink in front of you while you waited for Matthew. Seeing him walk through the door, your heart did a mini dance as he smiled at you, heading towards the table you had already gotten. 

"Hey there beautiful." He grins, sitting across from you. 

"Hi." You giggle. "How has your day been?" 

"Busy and stressful, but that's all been forgotten now that I have you in front of me." He says. You smile widely, burying your head in your hands. He was so sweet, and you didn't know how to react to it. After the two of you order, you're in the middle of a conversation about a movie you had each recently watched, when out of the corner of your eye, you notice someone familiar. You look over and at a table that was too close for your liking sat Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Maya. Your attitude, demeanour and mood completely changed when you noticed them. You could feel the tears welling in your eyes as you looked away. You look at Matthew who instantly looks concerned. 

"What's wrong? Did I say something?" He asks, leaning in closely to whisper to you. 

"T-that's my ex.. and the girl he chose over me, and his best friend who I'm still friends with." You whisper, nodding your head towards them.

Matthew discreetly looks over and notices the blonde man looking in your direction, pain in his eyes from the moment he saw you. 

"Look at me." Matthew whispers. You look up at him, trying to control the tears. "That boy is an idiot for giving you up. You are one in a million. You're smart, funny, beautiful, caring and an all around amazing person to be around. Don't give them anymore of your tears, princess. They don't deserve them, and you don't deserve to cry over them." He smiles. 

You sit up, taking a deep breath, smiling at the man across from you, staring at his beautiful smile. You glance over to the table and see Chanyeol staring at you, sadness in his eyes while Maya glares at you and Baekhyun, he stares at you with what seems like a look of anger. He glares in your direction, his face like stone and you had no idea what you did to make him so mad at you. 

"Would you like to go somewhere else?" Matthew asks. 

You nod your head, knowing you didn't want to be in the same restaurant as Mayeol, it was bad enough to have to be in the same city as them. Matthew grabs the check, escorting you out, his hand hovering over your backside as you walk out, the feeling of eyes watching you burning into your back as you exit the restaurant.  You and Matthew stand outside your door, and he smiles at you. "I'm sorry about the date." He sighs. 

"It wasn't your fault. If anything I should be sorry." You say. 

"You did nothing wrong." He tells you. "I have to get back to the hospital now, but I'll call you." He says, leaning down he presses his lips to yours quickly before pulling away and saying goodbye. 

You walk into your apartment, feeling a little confused. That didn't go how you imagined it at all. As you're trying to get out of your sundress, there's a knock at the door before someone walks in. You turn around and see Baekhyun standing there, watching you. 

"You looked pretty comfortable and intimate with what's his name." He blurts out, walking towards you. He stands closely behind you, you can feel his breath on your neck as he pulls down the zipper of your dress. 

"Yeah well you looked pretty comfortable with fucking Maya and Chanyeol." You retort, trying to storm away from him. Your dress slips off your body, landing on the floor. Baekhyun follows you, reaching out to grab your wrist. He spins you around to face him. He pulls your body closer to his. 

"What do you want?" He asks. You don't answer, your lips parted as you try to form a sentence. Baekhyun's eyes drop down to your lips. He licks his lips and sighs. You can feel his breath, so close to you, almost kissing you. "What do you want from me, Y/N?" He asks. 

Your heart is practically beating out of your chest. You look into his eyes, one word on the tip of your tongue. 

You. Just say it. You want him. Tell him. 

But you say nothing. 

Baekhyun sighs. "That's what I thought." He says,  moving away from you and picking up your dress from the floor. He hands it to you, leaning in to press his lips against your temple. "Call me when you know what you want." He says, walking away from you and out the door. 

What did that mean? Did he want you like you wanted him? Why couldn't you have just told him right then and there? 

You were scared. You were scared of rejection, you were scared he didn't mean it, maybe his feelings towards you weren't real. But then again, you would never know unless you talked to him. 

Later that night you laid in your bed, thinking about Baekhyun. You couldn't sleep, so you grabbed your purse and your keys, drive aimlessly around town. A little while later, you glance at the clock that reads 2am, you park your car and you pull out your phone and call him. You felt like you were going to vomit as the phone rang. 

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered. 

"You." You whisper through the speaker. "I want you."  

"Y/N." He breathes. 

"Open the door, Baekhyun." You whisper. 

You can hear him get out of bed and stomp towards the front door. He pulls it open and there you are, your phone pressed against your ear, wearing a nightshirt and shorts. 

"I want you." You say again, pulling the phone away from your ear. 

Baekhyun pulls you inside, slamming the door behind you before pinning you against the front door. 

"Fuck it." He groans, crashing his lips against yours, pulling your body in closer to his. His hands roaming your body as he slides his tongue into your mouth. His hands move under your shirt and up your torso, cupping a bare breast. He groans into the kiss as he pinches your hard nipple, rolling it between his fingers. He presses his crotch into your leg, allowing you to feel his hard cock pushing against his boxers. 

You reach your hand down, sliding it into his waistband, grabbing his cock and slowly pumping, making his knees buckle. 

"Fuck." He murmurs, breaking the kiss. He leans his head into your neck, placing small kisses as you stroke his cock. 

Suddenly he stands up straight, pulling your hand from inside his boxers. He grabs your hand and leads you to his bedroom. 

"Take off your clothes." He growls. 

You maintain eye contact as you slip your shirt off your body, dropping it to the floor and the shimmy off your shorts, letting them pool around your ankles. You stand there naked in front of Baekhyun who takes in every curve and crevasse of your body. 

"Get on the bed." He whispers. You move to the bed, slowly climbing on and laying on your back. 

"So fucking beautiful." He moans, crawling on top of you. "I just wanna be inside you." He whispers. You nod your head, giving him all the consent he needs. 

Baekhyun spits on his hand, pumping his cock. He lifts your legs over his shoulder before lining him up with your entrance. He pushes himself into you, stretching your pussy out, making you cry out loudly. 

It had been so long for you, you forgot what it felt like to be fucked. Your hands grip the bed sheets as Baekhyun slides his cock in and out of you slowly. 

"How do you want it, baby?" He asks, moving slowly still. 

"Faster." You moan. "Fuck me Baekhyun." 

His eyes become dark after hearing your words. His hands wrap around your ankles as he starts thrusting harder into you, the sound of skin slapping fills the room.

"Oh god." You cry out, your hands cupping your breasts, pinching your nipples as he pumps his cock into you. 

Baekhyun releases one of your legs, placing his thumb between your lips to rub your clit. He rubs in circles, making you clench around him. 

"Just like that." You cry out as you buck your hips. You knew you were going to cum soon, you hadn't had an orgasm since Chanyeol left. 

"Fuck." Baekhyun groans. 

"I'm gonna cum." You scream as he fucks you harder, and continues to rub you. 

Your orgasm hits you, making you scream out in pleasure, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you tighten around Baekhyun once again. 

He groans loudly, suddenly cumming, shooting his load inside of you, breathing heavily as he works through his orgasm. 

"Holy fuck." He sighs, pulling out of you. He lays next to you, and you snuggle into him, not caring about the mess, just being completely and utterly happy in the moment.

**

"So.." Baekhyun starts off the next morning, as you lay in his bed, tangled in his sheets. You have one leg and one arm sprawled across him as you snuggle in closer to him. "What about Matthew?" He asks.  

"I called him yesterday after you left, and I told him I didn't think things were going to work out, but I would like to remain friends." You explain. 

"And he was fine with that?" He asks. 

"He asked if there was someone else." You sigh. "I told him I wasn't sure, but I hoped and he wished me luck." 

"I didn't like you seeing him." Baekhyun admits. "It hurt but I felt like I couldn't do anything." He says. 

"Why?" You ask. 

"Because.. Chanyeol is my best friend and you were his." He tells you. 

"Chanyeol made his decision, and he chose Maya. I'm free to date whoever I want, and I want you." You whisper. 

"Oh baby girl." Baekhyun growls. "You have no idea what you do to me." He whispers, rolling over on top of you, pressing his lips to yours. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him in closer to you, never having felt so wanted or loved. 

** 

It has been a few months of you and Baekhyun dating, and you've kept it under wraps for the most part, wanting to stay in your little bubble of happiness. But now your friends were getting suspicious and you felt like it was time to tell them. And what other perfect time to tell them then at a dinner party that everyone is attending. 

That night you and Baekhyun had brought a spinach and artichoke dip that you made together and it was the best thing ever. You told Jongdae and his wife the news first, and they were both extremely happy for the both of you. 

Next, Minseok, Suho, Kyungsoo, Kai and Lay were told and they were all happy for you two, except Lay who was disappointed that things didn't work with Matthew, but he was happy that you were happy. 

You all sat around the dinner table when Chanyeol, Sehun and Maya walked in. Things instantly got tense and quiet the minute they entered the room. They hadn't noticed you yet and you could feel the knots forming in your stomach. 

"Hey guys." Chanyeol smiled, looking around the room and then his eyes landed on you and his smile dropped. 

"Hi friends." Maya chirps up, not realizing you were there until Sehun pointed it out, quite loudly and rudely. 

"Why is she here?" He asks, nodding his head towards you. 

"Because she's our friend." Jongdae pipes up, glare at Sehun.

"It's just weird." Maya comments, sitting down at the table. You ball your hands into fists under the table. Baekhyun reaches under the table, grabbing your hand to calm you down, showing you he's there and has your back. 

"It's not weird, actually." Baekhyun pipes up. "What's weird is coming to a gathering when you know no one here likes you. That's weird." He says, looking at Maya. 

"Baek." Chanyeol sighs. "She's my girlfriend." He says, as if that's a good enough reason. 

"Okay." Baekhyun says. "And she's mine." He says, nodding towards you. "So tell your girl to show some respect." 

"You're what?" Chanyeol asks, staring at you and Baekhyun, not even acknowledging the fact that Maya is sitting there with her mouth open and offended. "You're dating my ex-girlfriend?" 

"I am." Baekhyun says, not caring about Chanyeol's reaction anymore. 

"You.. you can't do that." He says. 

"And why not?" Baekhyun wonders. "You left her. You chose that over this amazing woman. You have no right to be angry here. You broke her, tore her apart and I'm putting the pieces back together." 

"I don't want her here." Maya pouts. 

"And no one wants you here." You chime in. You were tired of her and she had only been here for a few minutes. 

"Chanyeol." She whines, nudging him but he's still not paying attention to her, only looking at you and Baekhyun. 

"So.. what did you guys bring?" Lay asks, nodding towards their dish.

"Buffalo chicken dip." Maya says, with a smile.

You burst out laughing, rolling your eyes. "You mean you're still making the recipe that Chanyeol and I made together?" You ask with a smile on your face. 

Maya's smile instantly drops, looking at you with disgust. "Chanyeol." She yells. 

"What?" He snaps, turning to look at her. 

"Do something." She whines. 

"You don't have to do anything, man. We're gonna go. Thanks for having us, Jongdae. It's been interesting." Baekhyun says. He looks at you and holds out his hand. "Ready?" He asks you. You smile at him, taking his hand and walking out, hand in hand with the man who made you the happiest you've been. 

** 

A few days later you're in your apartment, singing and dancing as you clean up the place. You no longer missed Chanyeol, his name no longer brought pain to your heart, seeing things that reminded you of him no longer made you cry. You had Baekhyun now, and he treated you like a queen. 

You're walking past your front door when you hear a faint knock. You open it slightly and see an exhausted looking Chanyeol standing on the other side. 

"Can we talk?" He asks. 

You didn't want to hear what he had to say, but you decided to be nice and let him in. 

"What?" You ask, sitting on your couch as he stands in front of you. 

"I fucked up." He blurts out. "I should have never chosen Maya over you. I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, Y/N, please forgive me. I miss you. I miss us. We were great together." He breathes. 

You're shocked. You had spent weeks crying over him, wishing for him to come to you and say these words to you but now it was too late. 

"You're a little too late now." You say to him.

"I know you're with Baekhyun, but I had you first." He says. 

You scoff at him. "How dare you? How could you come here months after you left me for Maya and beg for me back when I'm finally happy again? It took a long time for me to be okay. Baekhyun has been there for me, he was the one who helped put me back together. You chose Maya. You made your bed." You yell. "Get out Chanyeol." 

"Y/N please." He begs. 

"No, you need to leave. I don't want you. I don't love you anymore." You tell him.

Chanyeol walks out the door, looking back at you with tears in his eyes. You felt no remorse for him. You had felt the way he was feeling, it was his own fault and you refused to be torn apart by him  again. Chanyeol was now your past, and Baekhyun was your future and you couldn't be happier about it. 

[stabbysideblog]

BBH’s Prison visit (scene-by-scene)

(To make things easier I’m going to put the timestamp for the END of each scene I talk about)

Link to the vod 

Very long post warning! This is going to center on Dream so if you aren’t into that don’t click the read more. 

28:46 - Bbh comes up to Dream and even walks past him a bit before Dream turns and starts moving again. This is our first sign of him being spacey. After he says hello he takes a deep breath. This sounds like the type of breath you take to calm down. 

29:14 - We can hear how Dream’s voice is different even from the last time we heard him. To make sure I checked Tommy’s vod and it is completely different. He speaks slower, with more spaces, less enunciation, sometimes there’s a slight slurr to his voice. Bbh asks how he’s doing and he replies and goes to spin his clock. I don’t know how intentional this is but BBH asks what he’s doing and Dream stops and looks at the floor instead of at BBH. 

29:33 - Bbh asks if spinning his clock is what Dream does in his free time and Dream says yes. He used to write but he burned a lot of his books. He doesn’t say why. We can assume based off what he said he doesn’t write anymore. That means all he has to do is spin his clock round and round. After BBH opens the chest 6 spaces are empty. One book is on the lectern. He assumedly burnt all the books Tommy made him write. Why? He never elabirates on this so we don’t know

29:52 - Bbh asks if Dream likes it in here and Dream takes almost 3 seconds to respond. He describes it as “really good”. Before while bbh is talking about the cell he doesn’t say anything. He looks at the lava but doesn’t move towards it.

30:11 - Dream talks about how he gets potatoes :] But they’re raw :[. He goes close to the lava but comes back to talk to bad. Also whenever he walks he runs. Dream is notoriously very active, he bounces around he can’t do that in the cell so instead he runs from place to place. “he said he- I tried to get out and so he made it so I couldn’t have visitors for a few days but” He completely drops the potatoes conversation to say that then drops this conversation. 

30:47 - Bbh tells Dream that he’s done bad things that got him in there. Dream doesn’t argue he simply repeats “that’s true”. He also says he gets to “think and think and think... and play with my clock”. In that sentence he looks at the damage pot dispenser then plays with his clock. 

31:36 -  When Bbh asks if Dream wants to hear what’s going on outside he perks up somewhat and asks how George and Sapnap are doing. He remarks after bbh says they probably miss that they haven’t visited him. He then makes a reason for it because there were a few days he couldn’t get visitors. Bbh accidentally rubs in that they haven’t come by at all and Dream goes and spins his clock for 31:24 - 31:33. He says nothing in this time, then he asks what’s happening outside. 

32:41 - While bbh talks about that’s going on outside Dream spins his clock, he stops to chuckle at what Tommy’s up to. Bad says he’s sure a lot of people miss Dream while Dream is turned around and Dream snaps to attention looking at bad. He laughs at Techno “still doing the whole anarchy thing” then asks for a 3rd time what is happening outside. He goes back to spinning his clock while Bbh talks. At this point it’s very obvious how much Dream uses the clock. It’s like he relies on it. 

33:28 - Bbh talks to Dream about  the egg. He simply says “I remember the egg” and “that’s intresting” before going back and spinning his clock. “I don’t really have anything else other than the clock”. That’s sadly true. As far as he knows everyone hates him, he’s lost everything. The only thing he has left is his clock. Bbh asks if he’s named it and he has but he doesn't want too say the name. Instead of that he just keeps spinning it.

34:29 - Dream takes out at book and starts writing in it. Bbh asks what he’s writing but Dream doesn't reply simply giving bad the completed book. It’s titled “thank you!” and the inside says “thank you for visiting me badboyhalo!” Dream tells bad he won’t be able to take it out. Bbh says that once Dream gets out he can take it with him. Dream doesn't reply and spins his clock. If you haven’t noticed how much he uses this clock you’re blind. He says that his sentence is forever when bad asks. “Forevers not that long” Way to rub it in bad. At least Dream chuckles a little.

35:40 - Bad tells him he likes what he’s done with the place before realizing how that sounds. Dream moves his clock to the other side of the room. “I like to watch it and then when it hits halfway *pause* then *pause* then I’m happy”. Note that in this chunk Dream is particularly bad at replying to bbh. They watch the clock move together. Dream says that it was “awesome” he seems to not have been the biggest fan of redecotaring because he moves his clock back to it’s original location. 

36:43 - Dream makes a sound like when you are sad and have to take a breath before you start crying. He says that he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to do. Bad mentions that Dream has a heat source. From that we can assume that Dream’s tiny prison is pretty darn hot. He also asks how long he’e been in there suggesting that he has lost track of time. That’s pretty common in people who are in solitary confinement. Bad gives a timeline of a few weeks to 2 weeks. For reference the United Nations says solitary confinement for more than 15 days is torture. 

37:20 - Bad asks who’s come and visit Dream, Dream says only Tommy and bbh is surprised. Dream remarks that “he’s the only one actually, until you” and goes to stand close to the lava. He goes close to it a second time while he justifies no one visiting by saying there’s limited visiting hours and overtime more people will (come visit). 

38:18 - Dream tells bbh about the #epic prank he does on Sam where he burns his clock so he can see Sam and say hi. The clock that he’s spent most of his visit spinning. So he can see someone else. I wonder if Sam decided not to give Dream another clock what else he would do to get Sam to visit. Bbh asks if he gets in trouble for burning his clock and Dream says sometimes he gets less potatoes. 

"oh so he starves you"

 "no I'm not s- I dunno- I wouldn't say I'm starving but-" 

"you have 3 square meals a day?" 

"........... i have potatoes"

The concerning parts are how much he stumbles over his words and the I wouldn’t say I’m starving. What would you say you are then? 

39:38 - Dream chuckles and throws his clock into lava. It’s gone now. Let’s see if he acts any different. Dream moves around a bunch while talking about what will happen later, you can hear his chuckle and smile at his ‘prank’. Dream tells bad that Sam is going to make a system so that the potatoes are dropped in so he doesn't have to see him to give him potatoes. Bbh says that he should keep sam from doing it because doesn’t it brighten his day? Dream admits it does but everything here is automated so it’ll make it better. Bbh asks if awesamdude treats Dream well and Dream says he does while he keeps glancing at the lava.

40:28 - Dream sniffles and tells bbh that it’s fine in here. He has his clock and his book and,,, he’s happy in here...right? He finishes off that sentence by sniffling and clearing his throat. All signs point to him not being happy in here. Where before he would spin his clock now he,,,, tries not to cry. Bbh asks if he’s allowed to have anything else, Dream tells him he can ask. While bbh talks about how maybe he could get a potted plant he sniffles again. Dream is obviously upset but he does as Dream does and says he’s okay and things are fine. 

42:00 - Bbh asks who Dream wants to come visit him, he says that he wants george and sapnap to come visit him. Bbh accidentally makes it sound like they don’t want to visit Dream, he says that they probably just need to be reminded that Dream is available for visitors. Dream takes 4 seconds to reply and it’s just a sad “yea”. Bbh tells him to look on the bright side and Dream just looks at the floor. I think that he knows that George and Sapnap don’t like/hate him. He also takes awhile to reply to Bbh saying that he’s been on good behavior right? If that’s because he hasn’t or because Sam’s idea of good behavior is hard for Dream we don’t know. 

42:51 - Dream throws himself into lava and Bbh reacts with horror yelling at him what is he doing? He says that sometimes he swims in there. What exactly made him decide to swim in the lava? Maybe him remembering how he he lost his friends, maybe him realizing he’ll never be free, maybe he was bored? We don’t know. What we do know is in this cell healthy coping mechanisms do not exist. They aren’t allowed to exist by nature of it. He tells bab that going into the lava keeps him entertained and sometimes he likes to set himself on fire with it. He demonstrates this and while bad asks if it’s a prank he just chuckles. This demonstrates how in the cell he’s willing to put himself physically into harms way for any more stimulation. It’s sad honestly. 

44:12 - Dream says that bbh’s time is probably almost up and thanks him for visiting him. Bbh says he wants to get Dream a pet and improve his living conditions. Dream talks about how long it takes to break a block, he once sat there for over 20 minutes with basically no progress. He helped design the prison and knows that if he broke a block the guard would be teleported in (and kill him). He realizes if bbh becomes a guard it could be a way to get him to come visit him :D he’ll simply punch a block for hours until it breaks so the people tasked to kill him can be there. Dream is desperate for human contact. He realizes that would make awesam really mad and he doesn’t want to do that. 

44:35 - Bbh says maybe he can get his sentence commuted from forever to 10 or 20 years. Dream says he’d like that if he has good behavior. I can’t help but feel noones idea of good behavior is lining up. Sam wants to think and see Dream as little as possible. Dream, I don’t know what Dream considers good behavior. Bbh sees good behavior as not trying to escape or messing with anything. Bbh says he doesn't wanna get Dream’s hopes but but Dream should look in the bright side. Dream sniffles and clears his throat. As this goes on it gets harder for him to not cry it seems. Bad tells Dream to look on the bright side and Dream says alright in a way that obviously suggests he wont. 

45:43 - Bad says that he’ll come visit Dream again really soon. He says he’ll bring George and Sapnap, Dream reminds him only 1 person can visit at a time. Bad says then he’ll schedule for them to visit. Bbh alost saays that they need to visit their friend but instead says they need to visit you (Dream) instead. From Dream’s POV this celents that they don’t care for him anymore. Bbh ends his visit and Dream somehow sounds more dejected than ever. 

50:42 - Sam while HOLDING a clock says that he might not give Dream a new clock. It also doesn’t matter whether Dream knows if it’s daytime or not. Bbh seems to have picked up how important the clock is to Dream. Sam also asks if Dream “said anything(????)” while he was in there. He also says that Dream swims in a lot a lot and usually he just wants attention. Sam also says with the way Dream has been acting that he probably won’t get his sentence commuted.

 Overall very concerning! From the way Dream relied on an inanimate object and the moment it was he started sniffling, to how he talked and sounded different, to how he swims in lava and sets himself on fire for fun, to how he’s starved if he misbehaves, to how he was spaced out and slow to respond. This all paints a picture of someone not doing well but pretending he isn’t. If he were to not get a new clock, and sam installs the automated potatoes machine I feel like he would get worse much faster. Unless bbh gets on that prison reform fast it’s not looking good for him. Not even getting on how the warden of the prison hates his guts. 

[jojikawa]

Mrs. Bucciarati | Bruno Bucciarati x Fem! Reader | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

┊❥ Part 6 - Down Time

MASTERLIST

✧『Fandom』: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

✧『Character』: Bruno Bucciarati

✧『Word Count』: 3,129 words 16,714 characters

✧『Summary』: The group kills time as they wait for Giorno and Mista to reach their destination.

The group quickly made its way back on the road to Venezia. Mista, Fugo, and Giorno were on the surface, driving the car while everyone else stayed inside to protect Trish as a second line of defense.

Inside the turtle, you had been sitting in between Narancia and Abbacchio. You had sat there first because Narancia wanted to show you something in the magazine he was reading but Abbacchio made it awkward by sitting next to you.

You had taken notice because previously, he was trying to avoid you.

Bruno was sitting on the other side of the table, his head tucked into the laptop that was used for communications. You wanted to talk but you felt like that would be distracting since he wanted to focus.

You didn’t know why but often, you would think of the first time the two of you met and the events that followed. You used to cringe at the memory of it but now that you were sure about your feelings towards him, it was wholesome.

One of your favorite memories with him was during a “charity” event your father held a few years ago. It wasn’t actually for anything charity-related.

Just another excuse to greet Italian capos. You hated it. You hated how corrupt your father was. He had a way of keeping investors while still doing dirty work.

Amongst them was Polpo from Passione in Italy and with him was a young Bruno Bucciarati. He was 17 at the time and you had just turned 16. Polpo agreed to take Bruno with him after much begging on his part. The boy just wanted to see you again.

That night, you were completely upset. Your father wanted you to sing since he and much of the staff agreed you had a nice singing voice. You were too nervous and honestly, you couldn’t even see yourself singing well at all. This upset him and he made you stay by him all night.

The ball was boring until Bruno had arrived. He found you quickly and wanted to talk. He figured that you were being held hostage by your father and wanted to help.

When we walked over, he cleared his throat. “Excuse me.” He said, grabbing your father’s attention. Your father had been speaking to a popular district attorney.

“It’s an honor to have been invited here, Mr. (l/n).” Bruno bowed, trying to seem as gentlemanly as possible.

Your father finished up his conversation before nodding the attorney away and taking a sip of his drink. “Oh, Bruno Bucciarati. I didn’t know Polpo was bringing you. I’m sure I only sent out one invitation.” Your father joked, even laughing when no one found it funny.

You just tried to tune him out, fiddling with your dress that was the same color as your father’s tuxedo.

Bruno humored him, laughing as well. “Well, you see, I couldn’t pass up the chance of hearing (y/n) sing so I had Polpo make room for one more.” His eyes lingered over to you. Bruno seemed so friendly and soft but he was tall for his age and it was almost intimidating…

You looked away, blushing after seeing the innocent twinkle in his eyes when he saw you were all dressed up. Normally, you were wearing loungewear since you were always inside. You looked so stunning!

“That’s too bad because little (y/n) over here decided that she didn’t want to help me pull any investors and she’s not singing at all tonight.” Your father lazily waved his hand in your direction, sipping more of his wine.

“I don’t believe I can sing. I’ve never had any lessons.” You spoke up for the first time. Your father narrowed his eyes at you. “Then after tonight, we’re getting you some.”

You sighed, looking away from your father and off to the side. This was so awkward… you wanted to leave.

Bruno saw what was unfolding and intervened before things could escalate.

“There’s nothing to worry about, Mr. (l/n). I’m sure (y/n) has an amazing voice. She’s just shy and there’s nothing wrong with that. Perhaps, I can help her build her confidence.” He offered his hand to you. You just stared at it.

Your father sighed. “I suppose so. I trust you, Bruno.”

Your father then let you spend the night with him and it was a lot better than just standing around.

All night, Bruno had been such a gentleman and even slow danced with you when no one was watching. You weren't very good and neither was he but you still found it enjoyable.

You had been reminiscing about the past when your thoughts were interrupted by Bruno who had been speaking to Abbacchio.

Bruno had gotten a message on the laptop asking Abbacchio to use his stand to reveal a message that was left behind.

Everyone had gathered around and you got up to look too.

Abbacchio decided to go back 15 hours. The person Moody Blues took the shape off was of the older man you had seen when you all first picked up Trish.

He explained more instructions for the team to follow. You felt so out of place. Everything about this was so bizarre. The moment you get to be with Bruno, you get wrapped up in some elaborate plan. You haven’t sat down with him since you arrived.

When you came to, you saw the image of Mr. Pericolo with a gun to his head. You had only zoned out for a moment! What happened?

Pericolo explained that because of his influence, the enemy knows that he’s helping Bruno deliver Trish. He isn’t a stand user so he doesn’t know how he could defend himself.

His only escape was killing himself before they got to him. It was tragic but these are things you sign up for in Passione.

He pulled the trigger and you saw red before Bruno hugged you to his chest and turned around to block the image of what you almost saw.

You tried to resist but he only held you tighter until the image of it was gone.

“Oh my god!!” You heard Narancia yell.

Trish and Abbacchio were speechless. You had wished that Bruno could’ve used his energy to protect the eyes of one of the children, especially Trish, but it was over now.

You wanted to cry but you were in so much shock. You felt like after everything was over, you would need some kind of therapy. It’s only been a few days and you’ve endured so much trauma. You were just a human.

“Bruno…” you tried to loosen his grip. “…let go.”

He squeezed you again when you had said his name but then without a word, he let go of you. He stood up to talk but his eyes were darkened and he was visibly sweating.

“Mr. Pericolo.”

You were dazed for a moment by his behavior but then you looked over at Trish who must have been traumatized.

You walked over and grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry that you had to see that. Are you okay?” You asked, sweetly. Her eyes darted over to you. She was shaking and sweating as well. It hurt you that she had to deal with all of this at such a young age.

“M-mhm.” She nodded and gave your hand a tight squeeze. “It’s going to be okay.” You told her.

You then realize that you would have to comfort Narancia, Fugo, and Giorno, as well. Being a mother figure wasn’t easy. You felt so obligated to be there for all of them but it was impossible.

You didn’t know how helpful Bruno was towards the younger members but you could only hope he took their mental health into account.

Before you could ask everyone about how they felt, Bruno had sent Mista and Giorno to drive while the rest of you stayed inside the turtle.

You couldn’t figure out why Bruno kept sheltering you. He wanted you by his side or inside the turtle at all times. You wanted to be able to help him protect everyone. You were tired of him acting like he could do everything on his own.

It was hard trying to get a good word in since everyone was in such close proximity. To everyone else, the way you and Bruno interacted was similar to parents. All of the kids had prominent parental issues so the two of you served as a support system when they needed it.

You were sitting next to Trish and you were unsure if you should give her space or make yourself available to speak to. You thought that maybe you should use this time to talk to Bruno but Trish had actually spoken first.

“Mrs. Bucciarati, what was your life like before you came here?” Her voice was pretty monotone as always but you could tell she was sad.

“My life? Well, I was pretty much a homebody. I just tended to my garden and practiced Italian.” You answered.

“Practicing Italian? Why?” She looked at you before realizing you weren’t a native Italian. It’s probably why your dialect sounded a bit different than most. You had a more formal way of speaking compared to the others.

“I’m from America and I know Bruno because I’m the daughter of a boss as well.” You explained with a smile. She didn’t reply to you. She just stared at you with her mouth opened a small bit. Maybe she could finally relate to someone.

You then turned your attention to Bruno who had been using the laptop. You were so worried about the boys. It didn’t feel right for you to send Mista and Giorno out on their own.

“Bruno.” You got up from your spot with Trish and went over to Bruno. You didn’t want to create a scene, so just in case things escalated, you spoke in English.

“I know you have faith in the boys, but is it really wise to send them out on their own? I could’ve gone with them.” You said down next to him, not really interested in what he was doing enough to look.

He just hummed before saying. “I don’t want you to be separated from me anymore. The last two times we got separated, you were hurt and every time we’ve been attacked, you were hurt.”

You huffed. “But you told me you were proud of me. You still don’t believe I can handle myself?”

“Cara mia, I know you can handle yourself but I just can’t have you hurt anymore. You were only taught to fight to a certain extent. If either of us makes a mistake then you could be killed.” His voice was firm. He’s never spoken to you in this tone before and it almost embarrassed you.

“But we have made mistakes. We both have. I’ve done my part in helping. I just still haven’t proven myself to you.” You turned away from him, upset that he was babying you and belittling the training you went through just for him.

Bruno look over at you who had been completely facing the other way. He reached over to your shoulder but you lightly jerked it away.

Why couldn’t you just understand that he was trying to protect you? Was it really wise to promise Giorno this ridiculous plan? Your first impression of Italy has just been filled with bloodshed. Although, if he didn’t then he never would have been Capo.

How long would it have taken him to reach the status of Capo normally?

Bruno pushed those thoughts out of his head. Maybe he was smothering you a little. It was just so hard not seeing you as a delicate flower anymore. He wished that he could’ve seen you more.

As an attempt to show affection, he reached out to your hand that has been free and resting on the sofa. The tips of his fingers brushed yours lightly but you had quickly curled them up, hiding them in a fist.

You didn’t seem to want to hold hands either.

Across the room, Fugo and Narancia were pondering on what you two could’ve been talking about. They didn’t know much English either. It was easy for the others to pay so much attention to you because of how new you were to them.

“Hey, Fugo, you know some English right? What do you think they’re talking about?” Narancia asked. “I’ve never seen Bucciarati so soft!” He hoarsely whispered into his ear.

Fugo, who was trying to rest his eyes, was getting annoyed at the boy. “No, Narancia, I don’t know what they’re saying. I’m not going to violate their privacy either. If it were meant for us to hear, then they wouldn’t have changed languages in the first place.” He explained. This made Narancia frown and retract himself.

You figured that maybe you should talk to Abbacchio for advice. You went over to the purple schemed man and Bruno’s eyes followed you curiously.

He watched as you talked to Leone with confidence and not anything at all like he expected. At first, when you first met them in Naples, he could sense your fear for that man but now you didn’t seem like you were at all.

“Leone,” You sighed and his head snapped over to you. You jumped at his reaction. “A-Abbacchio, I mean, sorry.” You raised your hands in defense and began to sweat. His neutral expression didn’t change. Deep down he didn’t mind your voice saying his name.

“As Bruno always called the shots this way? Sending the children out?” You asked softly.

This annoyed Abbacchio but still, his expression didn’t change. Of course, you would want to talk to him about Bruno of all people. Since you’ve been here, it’s just been about you and him and can’t even last 2 minutes apart when you’re just a foot away from him.

He knew that the only reason he felt this way was that he was jealous. He was probably just jealous of Bucciarati the whole time. What would it take for him to get a woman like you?

“Yeah. Always been that way.” He replied. “They know that they’re doing. Nothing new.”

A small gasp left your mouth. Everyone seemed so uncaring of the safety of the boys. But this didn’t have to mean the end.

You just had to be strong enough to protect them yourself. “I see.” That was all you had said. You didn’t care if it didn't seem like Bruno had faith in you or that there were so many children or how nonchalant Leone was about it. You had a stand too and you knew how to use it.

“Th-That’s all.” You smiled nervously before giving the man his space. You scooted further away, not wanting to move around too much and irritate everyone.

When you looked up, you saw that Bruno was just staring at you, watching. He looked upset but not angry. You wanted to comfort him but you were still upset with him. You’ve worked so hard and it’s like it doesn’t even matter to him.

For some hours, you occupied yourself with a magazine. You tested yourself by reading Italian fashion articles and keeping notes of things you wanted to buy with Bruno’s money. You made sure to bookmark pages with nice shoes and dresses you’d like to try on.

Your actions were interrupted by feeling a portion of the couch next to you sink. You looked to your left to see it was Bruno with the computer resting on his lap. He didn’t say a word and only shifted his weight so that his thigh was touching your exposed one.

This made you blush, so hard that physically acknowledged that he had done this when his goal was to be smooth with it.

“B-Bruno-” You whispered. Bruno ignored you, resting a free hand on the thigh closest to him. He leaned over, so close that the message you got was that he was trying to kiss you.

Really? In front of everyone? What’s gotten into him?

“Are you upset with me?” He whispered into your ear.

Your face heated up. You would feel his breath hitting your ear.

“N-No.” You replied, turning your head to him.

His eyes were narrowed and his face frowned. He leaned in further but he didn’t kiss you. He…licked your face?!

You yelped, breaking contact with him. What the hell was that!?

“To me, it seems like you’re lying.”

“Huh? Is this that lie detection thing you told me about? I thought that was a joke…” You wiped the faint sign of saliva on your face. “Warn me next time, okay?”

He chuckled before kissing you softly. “I thought it would cheer you up.” He said in between breaths.

You kissed back tenderly, your cheeks burning at his actions. Was this a dream?

Your minor make-out session was cut short when Narancia had brought you both back to reality.

Butterflies grew inside of you as you covered your face and turned away. You were always such a shy and delicate flower and now he knew that he could tease you with a public display of affection.

Narancia had been volunteering to be the one to go out to be on the surface so that he could use Aureo Smith to find Mista and Giorno.

You parted from Bruno, enjoying the remaining time just leaning against him. His body was warm and his cologne was faint with a hint of sweat from all the intense fighting.

You were an odd couple but the love was undeniable.

Mista and Giorno were found. Mista had sustained a lot of injuries, which the blonde male healed with his stand.

You played your role and scolded Mista at his lack of awareness to which he replied by calling you “Mom.”

“You should be more careful. You can’t always expect your wounds to be fixed. Giorno can’t help you forever!” You tapped his forehead aggressively.

“Hey, Hey! Yeah, I get it, okay, mom?” He swatted your hand away. This made you giggle.

“Mom? Where’d that come from?” You asked, chuckling to yourself.

“ ‘Cause, you’re annoying like one.” He yelled at you with faint pink dust on his cheeks.

You were the first female figure in his life that worried about him the way you did. It was very easy for them to get attached to you since they were all from broken homes.

It has only been a few days but with Bruno’s tough love and your soft and gentle nature, you two were scaffolding for what having parents was like. Minus the killing of the mafioso members pursuing you, of course.

It was unfortunate that such a cute “family” would come to an end.

[sierraraeck]

A Cruel Joke

Emily x Bi!Fem!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You find solace in the arms of a hurting FBI agent after she comes to investigate the death of your best friend.

Category: Angst, implied smut.

Warnings: 15 year age gap between adults (37/22)

Word Count: 4.9k

A/N: If you don’t like the name Alexa, I’m sorry, just try to imagine that it’s a different name.

A lesbian and a bisexual walk up to a crime scene. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but this situation was very real, and very unfunny.

You’d had a bad feeling. That should have been enough to get you to stay with her, you’re best friend, but you didn’t. You had been selfish.

And now she was dead.

Alexa was dead.

And it was your fault.

Had you just pulled yourself together and been there for her as a friend, stopped worrying about how you felt, she wouldn’t have walked back to your campus apartment from that party alone, and she wouldn’t have been vulnerable to the monster that took her and he wouldn’t have…

But he did, and now you were numbly walking down the sidewalk that led behind the sorority house you’d been partying at and to the local park, not even registering anything that was happening around you.

You’d heard the news before you could even press send on a text making sure she was okay. You’d heard the news, but you had to confirm for yourself. She couldn’t be dead, she just couldn’t be. You saw her only last night, not even six hours ago.

Despite officers and other important people yelling at you to get back, you just kept walking towards the crime scene, taped off with that awful yellow color.

Just as you were about to duck under the tape, approach the group of suits standing with their backs to you in a half circle, you felt a hand on your shoulder, a presence appearing in front of you.

“Miss, I’m sorry but you can’t be here.” It was a delicate voice, belonging to a woman.

“I have to know if it’s her. I just saw her, it can’t be her, I have to know if it’s her,” you mumbled in a panic, still trying to get a glimpse of what was sprawled on the ground in front of the officers. You realized they were staring at you now, but you couldn’t look away. You had to know.

“Miss, please, you shouldn’t be here,” the woman repeated. Her hand was still on your shoulder, and you finally looked her in the eyes, took in her face. Her features were gentle yet strong, and there was something striking about the contrast between her dark hair, fair skin, and pink lips.

You were trembling, something she could feel against her fingertips, and the water brimming in your eyes was enough to let her know how much you cared, probably more than anyone around.

She quickly glanced back at the other men behind her, and the tallest one nodded. With her hand still on your shoulder, she escorted you away from the scene, and away from prying eyes to a secluded park bench.

“Would you like to take a seat?” she asked.

All you could do was nod. Nothing felt real. Her voice sounded like it was reaching your ears by an old, fuzzy radio set up 10 feet away from you. This can’t be happening.

You plopped down on the bench with much less grace than the woman before you, who introduced herself as Agent Prentiss. “But you can call me Emily,” she’d said. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you whispered. Your arms were wrapped around yourself as you asked, “Is it her? Is it Alexa?”

Emily dodged your question with another question. “Who’s Alexa?” You later realized why she didn’t ask you how you knew her. She didn’t ask because she’d have to ask ‘how did you know her’ and not ‘how do you know her,’ something that surely would have set you off.

“She… she’s my b-best friend,” you mumbled around the lump in your throat.

“You mentioned that you just saw her. When was that?”

“Last night. We decided to crash the party with some of our friends who are actually in the sorority,” you explained meekly. “Please, Emily. Would you please tell me if it’s her? I have to know.”

Emily sighed and gave you a sad look, which was really all you needed, but hearing the words made it final. “Yes. We found identification on her with the name Alexa Stephens. I’m so sorry.”

Your whole heart shattered. You cared about her more than any of her other friends, and you sometimes wondered if you cared about her more than her family. She had a rough childhood and couldn’t stand to be in the same state as them anymore, which is why she transferred halfway through her freshman year. You immediately connected with her and you’d been friends ever since.

Your mind was racing, thinking of all the questions you needed answered, all the things you could have done differently to keep her alive. If you would have just been there…

“It’s not your fault,” the angelic voice broke through the static in your head, as if she could hear your thoughts.

“It is,” you whimpered, “If I had just pulled myself together, we would have walked home together, and she wouldn’t have been alone. Oh god, she died alone.”

“You did nothing wrong. You didn’t know, you couldn’t have. I’m sure you did what you thought was best in the moment.” It didn’t make you feel a whole lot better, but you grasped onto her words in an attempt to calm yourself down. You knew there was still more information she probably needed from you. You took some deep breaths, closing your eyes. A warmth spread its way through your palms, and you realized that the agent had put her hands in yours, giving them a reassuring squeeze. You held onto them like an anchor point. “Can I ask you a few more questions, or would you like to take a break?”

In through your nose, out through your mouth. You opened your eyes and nodded. “I want to help in whatever way I can.”

Emily continued to ask you questions about your night and if you remembered anyone suspicious. She asked if there was anyone who was staring at her, to which you told her that would be half the people at the party. Alexa usually had a steady stream of boys coming and going, some she dated and some she didn’t.

You never really understood that. You barely liked one person, let alone multiple back to back or at the same time. But Alexa just had this appeal to her, and while some would disagree with you, you thought she had a big heart. A big, blind heart.

“Thank you so much for your time. Give me a call if you remember anything else, anything at all,” Emily said, handing you her business card, “and I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks. I will,” you answered dryly.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

You woke up feeling out of sorts. You’d dreamt of her last night. Well, you’d dreamt of them. You saw Alexa laughing, and then you saw her sprawled on the ground, an image your mind had created all by itself, and then you saw Emily. Felt her soothing hand on your shoulder, her warm palms encasing yours.

Then you woke up. The whole thing made you feel weird and sad and tired.

You picked up the business card Emily had given you, twirling it in your hand. You hadn’t remembered anything new, but you felt safe around her. Noticed, important, like you mattered. You realized just how much you were lacking that from Alexa, from your other friends.

Simply calling her wouldn’t do, though. You wanted to see the woman that for once in your life made you feel like you didn’t have to pretend you were okay. She knew you had lost someone close to you, and didn’t expect you to keep it together.

What were you saying? You put the card down, remembering that you’d only spoken to her for all of 30 minutes and she was just doing her job. Nothing more, nothing less. You also had the wherewithal to know that you were probably only grasping at any minute display of affection since you’d just lost the one person you so desperately wanted it from but could never get it. It made you feel pathetic and angry.

God you were also just so tired.

Classes were not going to happen, so you just laid back down, hoping to be swept into another dream.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

A knock at the door woke you up. You weren’t sure what time it was, but you didn’t really care as you walked to the door.

Without looking through the peephole, you eked the door open. Emily was standing there along with another agent you’d seen at the crime scene.

“Hello. Y/N, right?” the blond asked. You nodded. “My name is Jennifer Jareau, and I believe you’ve met Emily.”

Emily smiled at you and you forced a small smile back. “What can I do for you?”

You invited them in and they asked you a few more questions. However, you were only half paying attention to what they were saying, and more paying attention to the way the two women were interacting. You’d sensed a tension the minute they walked in, but it seemed to be one sided. You figured it out by about the eighth time Emily glanced over at Jennifer. You recognized the look in her eyes: a mixture of love and hurt. You’d seen it too many times in the mirror not to pick up on it. But what really caught your eye was how many times Emily’s gaze traveled down to Jennifer’s hands. Specifically her left one with a shiny diamond on it. One look at Emily’s hand, and well, it wasn’t too difficult to put the rest together.

“Thank you again for your time,” Jennifer said, shaking your hand. Emily was slower to move, making eye contact with the other agent, some message you were not privy to passing between them. Jennifer gave you a tight lipped smile and left, but Emily stayed.

“I wanted to give you this,” Emily explained, holding out her hand. There was a small necklace in it, one you recognized immediately. “She was still wearing it and I thought you might want it back.”

You took it out of her hand, admiring the small heart pendant that dangled at the end. You’d bought it for Alexa for her 21st birthday. Her last birthday. “Thank you so much,” you said as you started to tear up. Just when you thought you’d cried yourself dry.

“Of course.” You thought Emily was going to leave after that, but she lingered a moment longer. You looked up at her, and she bit her lip, probably trying to decide if she should ask her next question or not. “She wasn’t your best friend, was she?”

You gave a weak smile, dropping eye contact. “That depends. Are you asking her or me?”

“I’m asking you.”

“No, she wasn’t. She meant more to me than that. But I never meant more to her. I sometimes wondered if I even meant that much to her,” your voice wavered.

“I’m sure you did,” Emily tried to reassure, but you weren’t buying it.

“Hope so,” you muttered. Looking back up at Emily, you held her eyes this time. “What about you and Jennifer?”

Her response was immediate. “What?” She sounded shocked, but you could tell she was trying to play it off.

You offered a single laugh. “I may not be a genius FBI analyst or profiler or whatever, but I know a hurting gay when I see one.”

Her mouth was still open, like she was going to try to come up with an excuse, but instead she just sighed. “That obvious?”

“Clearly not to Jennifer.” You shrugged. “Looks like I’m not the only one to lose someone recently.”

“It’s not the same thing,” Emily shook her head.

“You don’t need to downplay your pain,” you told her. “I know how bad that hurts. Why do you think I left that party early?”

A look of understanding flashed through her eyes. “A constant stream of guys…” Emily quoted your from earlier.

“Yeah,” you shrugged again. “Sometimes it’s just too hard to watch. Sometimes it’s just too hard to listen. When she’d come back to me crying over a break up when I was sitting right there… it’s painful. And that night I just couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t watch her waste her time on another guy who was going to hurt her. So I left. Look where that got me,” you mumbled the last part.

Emily gave a sad, bitter laugh. “She asked me to be her maid of honor.”

You sighed with her. “I’m sorry.” You had barely noticed the tear that escaped her eye before she forcefully brushed it away.

Something changed in her demeanor when she realized a tear had escaped, speaking faster as she headed towards the door. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you this. You already have a lot on your plate, and I don’t need to be unloading my personal issues on you. Again, I’m sorry, I will make sure-”

“Emily,” you cut her off, grabbing her arm and turning her towards you as she was about to reach for the doorknob. You weren’t sure what you’d been planning on doing once you stopped her, and the first thing you thought to do was hug her. You pulled her in close and wrapped your arms around her. She seemed shocked, but put her arms around you like it was the most natural thing in the world for the two of you to be doing.

You don’t know how long you stood there, but you would’ve stayed there forever if you could. The warmth and safety of her arms was something you’d never really experienced before.

When she pulled back from your embrace, you realized you’d both been silently crying. Her fingers traveled over your jaw, and her thumbs brushed away your tears. Your faces were only inches apart, but something in the back of your head told you that it wasn’t the right time.

Instead, you leaned forward and kissed away her tears, pressing your lips to her cheekbones. You felt her eyelashes on your face, a feeling you tried to commit to memory. A feeling you never got to experience with Alexa. One you never would.

“Y/N,” she whispered. You heard everything in the way she said your name, a warning that no matter how badly the two of you wanted this right now, it wasn’t a good decision.

“I know,” you whispered back, resting your forehead on hers, “Just please. Please let me live in my head for a little while longer.”

You stood there for a few more moments, her hands cupping your face and your hands on her back before she completely pulled away. “I will make sure we do everything we can to find the man who did this.”

“I know,” you repeated. “Thank you, Emily.”

She offered another small smile, but this time it felt a bit more sincere. With that, she left to continue fighting the monster that had ripped the earth out from under you.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

Three more days and another victim later, the case was closed. Emily and her team had caught the bastard, putting him away for good.

You felt like you owed it to her, to the whole team, to go down to the local station they were set up in and thank them.

The moment you walked in, Emily spotted you. She put down whatever pictures and maps were in her hand, and rushed over to you. Without exchanging a word you embraced, similarly to how you’d done a few days ago, although much shorter this time as you were in public.

“We got him.” Her voice was assured and her lips curved in just the smallest way as she studied your face.

“I don’t know if I could ever thank you enough,” you told her. You looked over her shoulder to the conference room she’d just abandoned, catching the majority of the other members looking your way. “Is that your team?”

Emily turned around to follow your gaze, most of the others looking away as she did so. “Um, yes. That is them.” You couldn’t exactly figure out what subtle meaning was in her tone of voice, but ultimately chose to ignore it.

“Can I… um, well, can I talk to them? I want to thank them,” you quickly explained. Emily turned around to give you a shy smile.

“Sure,” she agreed, heading towards the conference room. You figured that was your cue to follow her, so you did, trialing close behind her.

She pushed open the doors and introduced you. Of course, they all knew who you were as you’d been a mess when you showed up on their crime scene, and had apparently been a ‘big help’, which the tallest man with a stern face, told you.

“Oh, I didn’t really do anything,” you waved him off. “You did all the hard work, which I wanted to thank you all for. It means a lot that you were here and able to close this case. So thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” a tall, strong-built man replied. “Happy that we could help.”

“But a lot of the credit should go to Emily,” a thin man with curly hair stated, a small smirk on his face, “She really did most of the work.”

Emily opened her mouth to protest as she gave both men a dangerous side eye, to which all they did was fail to suppress a smile. You stopped her before she could refute, “Well, thank you.” The message was broad, directed towards everyone, but your eyes lingered on Emily.

She gave you a single nod, and you quickly glanced around the room at the agents that helped get justice for Alexa before heading out the door. You looked back at Emily before you left, her eyes following you out while the two tall men behind her were passing knowing looks. You caught a glimpse of the blonde agent staring at the whole interaction, then biting her lip and looking away. You looked back towards Emily and the two male agents, the bald one shaking his head in what you could only guess was amusement, something you felt a little flattered about. Again, you weren’t a profiler, but you could read the classic signs of friends teasing friends over something like a crush. You hoped your brain wasn’t too foggy from the whirlwind that your life had become to mistake those signs for something they weren’t.

You were just getting into your car and pulling the driver’s side door shut when the passenger side swung open. Emily plopped down in the passenger seat of your car, quickly shutting the door. Surprised to see her, you just sat there like a fool looking at her.

She glanced over at you, biting her lip, a little bit of mischief in her eyes. “Are you going to drive or should I?”

In response, you finished shutting your door and started the car. “What took you so long?” you teased. “Was it Jennifer?”

“Let’s not talk about Jennifer,” Emily responded, a level of conviction in her voice you hadn’t heard yet.

“No, let’s not,” you agreed. Let’s not talk at all. You leaned across the console, bringing her face to yours with a hand on her cheek. She kissed you back, deeply. Oh what it was like to kiss someone you had feelings for, and not only kiss them, but have them kiss you back. You hadn’t realized just how starved you’d been of this feeling.

You pulled back first, needing to get some air back in your lungs. You plopped back down in your chair a little dazed.

Emily wetted her lips. “I know you wanted to do that before. Why’d you wait?”

“I waited to help you. To help get justice for Alexa,” you briefly explained, pulling out of the parking lot. “I know how important it is to have a clear head.”

“And now?”

“The investigation is over, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Emily confirmed.

“Then I am done waiting. That was the biggest mistake I ever made with her. I waited to tell her until she… until it was too late. I’m never going to do that again. Never.” It was a promise you intended on keeping.

“I did the same thing,” Emily shared, her voice getting quieter.

“I know. So let’s both just agree to be honest and forward with what we want,” you suggested.

“And what is it that you want?”

“You,” you confessed.

The drive from the precinct to your apartment was short, and you were there within the next couple minutes or so.

Taking Emily’s hand, you led her up the stairs and through the door of your apartment. The moment you shut and locked it, Emily was there, pulling you close and kissing you with much more passion than she had before. You pushed off her blazer and started frantically working on the buttons of her dress shirt. You had to part for a moment, just long enough for her to pull your shirt over your head. You were going in to kiss her again, when she stopped you.

“Woah, woah,” she whispered. “Slow down. I want to savor every last moment of this.”

Her eyes tore down your figure, fingers brushing over your collar bones, down around the swell of your breasts and over your stomach. When they reached the top of your jeans, she looked up at you. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t… I don’t want to be pushing you to do something you’re not ready for yet. I don’t want you waking up regretting this because you still haven’t taken the time you need to grieve Alexa.”

“Let’s not talk about Alexa,” you copied what Emily had said about Jennifer earlier. “I want to be here with you. Will you let me be here with you?”

She slowly nodded, and the moment she did, you put your lips back on hers. They were soft, just a bit swollen, and she swiped her tongue across your bottom lip, asking for entry. You gave it to her without question, and did you best to resume the work on her dress shirt buttons. Your tongues tangoed as you finally got her shirt off her.

As you led her to your room, you were thankful you didn’t have to pass Alexa’s, and even though no one else lived in your apartment anymore, you shut the door out of habit.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

You woke up just before the early morning sun, drinking in the sight of the sleeping woman next to you. Your legs were tangled in the sheets, arms wrapped around each other.

Even though you’d had the entire night to admire her body, you couldn’t keep yourself from looking over her in awe. The way her face looked so at peace when she was sleeping and the way her dark hair messily fanned around her head made her look too perfect to be real. Everything that happened must’ve been a figment of your imagination, and the little solace you found in her felt like it was going to evaporate with your dreams.

And in a way, it was.

Once she woke up, she’d fly back across the country and go back to working her job like she’d never even met you. Maybe she hooked up with girls all over the country. She didn’t really strike you as that type, but you didn’t really know her.

The universe was playing a cruel joke on you. When you had the chance to spend years with the girl you were in love with, you didn’t have the guts to tell her how you felt, and now that you did, you only had a day or so with her. But in the end, both would leave. Both would be out of your life forever.

You’d been so caught up in these thoughts that you hadn’t noticed Emily peek her eyes open. The sun had just started shining through the blinds, and she squinted against the light. She was also able to see the wet streaks glinting against your skin.

That jolted her awake, sitting up on her elbow. “Hey,” she soothed, cupping your face, “What’s going on?”

You placed your hand on top of hers and wiped at your tears with the other. “You’re perfect,” you told her, voice barely above a whisper, “And you’re leaving. Everyone leaves.”

Instead of responding, Emily tucked you under her arm and held you while your wept. She whispered sweet nothings into your hair and cradled the back of your head. You held onto her like she was the only thing keeping you together, keeping the withering pieces you called yourself from crumbling completely.

But, as you’d said, at some point she’d have to go. She’d have to pick up her things and head back to her life. You were going to have to figure out how to manage on your own.

Once you’d calmed down enough, you apologized to her. She told you that she was there for you, and that you’d always have her number, which helped you feel a little better. Just as she was finishing putting on her clothes and heading toward the door, you said, “You know it’s not too late to tell Jennifer your feelings, right?” Emily gave you a sad look, one that told you it was too late, but you persisted. “She’s only engaged, and engagements can be broken. I saw the way she looked at you yesterday.”

“What do you mean? I thought you said she was oblivious?” Emily countered.

“True, but I was paying a lot more attention to you that day,” you informed her, which made her lips turn up. “But I’m talking about back at the precinct. As I was leaving and you were looking at me, and those two male agents were making eyes about the whole thing, I saw how she looked at you. She was jealous, and I think a little sad too. I’m just telling you that the worst thing that could happen if you tell her is she says no. The worst that could happen if you don’t tell her is you miss out on a life with her. Or before you know it, she’s getting hurt in the field and you end up right back here, just like me. Please, Emily. You have a chance to go for it, to tell her how you feel, something I was too stupid not to take advantage of when I could. Do it before it eats away at you any longer.” It was a plea by the time you finished.

Emily had never looked at you with pity before that moment, but there was a hint of the feeling in her eyes when you finished, like she thought you were desperate or naive. And, maybe you were, but you also thought that some of the pity might have been for herself.

You stood up out of bed, and approached her. She was standing frozen in the doorway, and the look of pity disappeared when you whispered, “It’s not too late.”

Emily pressed her lips to yours, in a slow, delicate way, one that felt like a goodbye. When she pulled back, her eyes were still closed and she barely spoke against your lips. “I hope you’re right.”

You looked deep into her eyes once she finally opened them, trying to remember the shape and the color, and how it felt to get lost in them. But then they were gone again, replaced by the hair on the back of her head as she walked away. She gave you one last small, sad smile before walking out the door of your apartment. That, you knew, would be it.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

~11 months later~

Voicemail from: Emily Prentiss

“Hey Y/N. It’s me, Emily. I know we haven’t talked since the last time I saw you, and I know this phone call is kind of out of the blue… but, uh, I just felt like I should call you and tell you this myself. You were right. It wasn’t too late, and I told her. I told Jennifer how I really felt, and she broke off the engagement to be with me. We’ve been together now for about ten months, and um… well, this time around we both have rings on our fingers. So I guess what I’m really trying to say is thank you. Had it not been for you, or what you said to me that last night, I would have had to be the maid of honor at her wedding and watched while she married someone else, and the guilt would have eaten me alive. So thank you. You’ve changed my life. I hope that things are going well for you because you deserve everything that’s right in the world. Really, you do. And you always have my number if you ever need anything. Okay, um, I guess that’s all. Goodbye Y/N.”

#

#

Taglist

@90spumkin

[20moonchild21]

𝗦𝗲𝗵𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵𝘁 [𝗯𝘁𝘀]

⇉ 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 16

[pairings]

JK x female!oc, Bunny!JK x human!female!oc, Jin x female!oc, Leopard!Jin x human!female!oc, Jimin x female!oc, white Tiger!Jimin x human!female!oc, Taehyung x female!oc, black Tiger!Taehyung x human!female!oc, Hobi x female!oc, Fox!Hobi x human!female!oc, Namjoon x female!oc, Wolf!Namjoon x human!female!oc, JK x Jin x Jimin x Taehyung x Hobi x Namjoon xfemale!oc

[warnings]

none

[words]

4.0k

[author]

A little late but here it is! I already had saved the draft, but I somehow forgot to upload it yesterday. I am sorry.

In case I will forgot again to upload punctually, I want you to check out @starlightauroras-writes and her story Inferiority Complex. She is so talented in writing, so leave her a lot of likes and comments!

I also wanted to say that I am not a lawyer! I just wrote how I imagined it in my head, so please, don’t blame me😅I tried really hard. If you like this chapter anyway, feel free to leave a like or comment. It would make my day!

Stay healthy and safe!

Mꨄ

[chapter 15 ||| chapter 17]

„Okay, how does this look?” All the boys looked up when Hope walked around the corner and into the living room.

It was the day before Hope would start her first day of working and right now, the boys were all helping her with choosing the right outfit for that special day. She had started with some simple dresses, which had left Jimin’s open in amazement.

He had always thought of her as a beautiful girl, but seeing her in those dresses that had hugged her waist and chest perfectly was a picture he would never forget again. When he had looked from side to side, he had spotted the other boys making the same faces as him.

Right now, Hope walked into the living room, wearing a black, tight trouser, combined with a white blouse and a black jacket. Jimin felt like she was walking in in slow-motion. In his eyes, everything she was putting on her body was fitting perfectly.

“Wow.” He whispered under his breath, as the girl stood in front of them and in front of the large mirror that was hanging next towards the front door.

She was turning her body from side to side, sliding her hands over her shirt and trousers from time to time and knitting her eyebrows together. Jimin absolutely adored those small habits of her, like she would chew on bottom lip every time she was concentrating, or how the cringes would form on her forehead when she was thinking about something really hard.

“Hope, you look amazing.” Jungkook stood up from the sofa and walked up towards the smaller girl.

When he reached her, he took her left hand, lifted it up and just twisted her around. Hope began to giggle, before she fell against the bunny’s chest and placed her hands there. Jimin should probably feel jealous or hurt while watching that scene in front of him, but he didn’t. Not even when the younger boy bent down and pressed kiss towards the girl’s cheek.

By now, he was so used to Jin and Jungkook that he almost saw them as his brothers as well. He just felt that somewhere deep down, there was a deeper connection between them. The white tiger wasn’t quite sure what the connection between them was, but he was sure that the other were feeling the same way.

Jimin didn’t realize that he had been spacing out, until his brother beside him slightly nudged his arm.

“Close your mouth, or you will catch flies while staring at her.” He joked, before he was throwing his arm around the smaller boy’s shoulders and pulling him closer. “How cute. You were drooling over her again.”

“Like you.” He joked back, poking Taehyung’s side, who’s cheeks were slightly redden now.

Taehyung had gone through a major change since the both of them had been living here. He had been a grumpy boy in the beginning, but now, he was a normal boy. He would show more physical affection to him but also to the other two hybrids and even towards the girl.

It made Jimin happy to see his brother’s transformation but also his own. He was not the shy, and shaking boy anymore. The white tiger had learnt that he actually was a pretty physical person. He loved to hug and cuddle with other people, showing them how much he liked them and how thankful he was. He was thankful that Hope had taken them in, that Jin had given him his trust from the first

night, and he was thankful that Jungkook had given him and his brother a chance to live here.

He even had found his passion for music and dancing a few days ago when Hope had given him her MP3 player. It was amazing what his body was able to do and how to move to the beat of the music. If he would ever have the chance to lean a profession, he was sure that he wanted to do something with dancing and singing.

His gaze fell on the girl once again. When she had come home yesterday, she had pretended to be sad when actually she got the job she had ever wanted. Now, she had a real chance to change something in this world and maybe, just maybe, Jimin could someday make his dream come true.

“Are you nervous, Hope?” Hobi’s voice pulled him out of his mind.

The white fox had wrapped a fluffy blanket around his shoulders and was now sitting crossed legs on the couch. Jimin had noticed that Hobi was a pretty curious and open minded person. He never seemed to be scared to ask questions, and he would always listen to every little detail he was told.

“To be honest, yes.” Hope drove one of her hands through her thick hair, before she let herself sink down onto the corner of the sofa. “I mean, it is good to be nervous, isn’t it? I should be worried if I wasn’t, but I am also a little bit scared that I won’t do a good job and that maybe –“

“You will be the best lawyer girl, Hope.” Jimin pushed Taehyung’s arm off of his shoulder moved closer towards the girl, before he took her left hand. “I know it.”

“Yeah, you will.” Jungkook sat down next to her other side. “You will safe all Hybrids who need help and then the world will be a better place for everyone.”

Jimin didn’t miss the red shade that was now covering her plump cheeks. She pushed a strand of her almost golden hair behind her ear, while she started giggling slightly.

“But please, don’t bring all of them here with you.” Tae mumbled, as he was still laying on his back with his eyes closed.

By now, the girl’s giggles had turned into a real laughing, and as the corners of her mouth went up, Jimin could only stare at that beautiful pair of dimples that were now forming on her cheeks. Automatically, he started laughing along with her.

In that moment, Jimin realized how lucky he had been. Of course, there had been hard times for him and his brother in the past, but he knew that from now on, his life was heading into the right direction.

“You must be Ms. Carson, right?” The brown haired woman smiled widely at Hope, as she stretched out her hand. “It is so nice to finally have amplification to our small team. We need every possible support. I am Laura and I will show you around today.”

Still overwhelmed from all the new surroundings and people, Hope carefully shook the woman’s hand.

“Hello, Laure. Please, call me Hope.” She politely answered and let go of Laura’s hand.

Laura was a taller woman with wavy brown hair that fell over her shoulders and chest. Her smile was authentic and bright, and Hope immediately felt a heavy weight falling from her shoulders. The fear that she would not get along with her new colleagues had held her wide away through the previous night. But now, as she already had met a few people, she knew that she would not have to worry about anything.

“Okay, Hope.” Laura turned around and started walking down the hallway with Hope walking beside her. “Firstly, I want to show you the building a little bit. You will be confused, but I promise that you will get used to it in just a few days.”

Together, the two girls made their way from door to door, looking into different rooms and sections of the company. The building was located a little bit outside the city of New York in an older building, but that didn’t change the fact that inside, it looked exactly like Hope had imagined it.

After the reception and waiting area, Laura first showed Hope alle the meeting rooms where they would hold their weekly conferences, but also important customer talks or presentations. All the meeting rooms were completely surrounded by glass windows, so you could see right inside without hearing anything.

When they kept walking through the hallways, Hope suddenly spotted that one of the 4 meeting rooms was currently used by a smaller amount of people. Hope watched with wide eyes, how one of the men bent over a sheet of paper at the desk, pointing his pencil onto it. He was talking to a woman, who was standing next to the table and was looking at the sheet of paper as well.

But what fascinated Hope the most was that when the woman took a step to the side, she could actually see the reason she came here for. Opposite of the man in the black suit and next to the woman was a Hybrids boy sitting. The boy was carefully listening to what the men and woman were explaining to him, because he had his golden ears up in hight in the air.

From his body expression, Hope could see that there was still a hint of fear in his eyes. While he had one of his eyebrows cocked up, he also had wrapped his slim, long tail with the fluffy tip around his calve.

“What you are seeing there is one of our newest cases.” Hope just noticed that she had stopped walking when she saw Laura walking back towards her with a small smile on her face. “Adam Neil is a lion Hybrid. He wants to lawsuit against his adoption in court, because his owner locked him up in the basement for a few days. It took him a while to finally talk to us but now, it’s going forward for him.”

Hope didn’t miss the bitterness in Laura’s voice as she talked about the lion’s case. Her eyes were fixed on the boy, as Hope’s curiousness grew more and more. She wanted to ask more questions about every little detail of the case, but Laura had already started walking again.

They took turn after turn until they reached another section. Down the hallway, there were several doors on either side. Most of those doors were closed, but some were also opened so Hope could peak inside. The rooms weren’t big, but inside, they all had a desk and many book shelves.

“Those are our offices.” Laura pointed her fingers from door to door, as they kept walking down the hallway. “We do most of our paper work in here – and believe me, you will have a lot of paper work to do – but we also have private talks with clients here. You will have your own office once your trial period is over. Until then, you will help out in my office.”

“Wow.” Hope whispered, before she quickly walked up beside Laura. “This is amazing. I can’t wait to finally have my own cases.”

Laura looked down at the smaller girl with a slightly smirking expression.

“You remind me of myself, when I was just starting here.” She laughed and took another turn into another hallway. “I came from university and couldn’t wait to go in front of the judges. I can see how passionate you are, Hope. We need people like you, who want to defend our clients until the last second. May I ask you where that passion is coming from?”

Immediately, a large smile formed on Hope’s face. It was the though at her boys who were currently waiting for at home, but also the memory at her mother who raised her to be that open minded person she was now.

“I – my mother taught me that we all are equal.” She said and looked up at Laura. “She worked in the hospital and saved some Hybrids during her career. It made me so proud, and I just wanted to do the same things as her. I just think that we are living in a crual world, you know? People say that they changed their minds, but they also torture living beings at the same time.”

This time, it was Laura who stopped in her tracks. She turned around in one smooth movement and looked down at the blond haired girl with wide eyes.

“You are really mature for your age, but I like it.” She said, before she carefully walked closer and laid her hands on Hope’s shoulders. “You will fit perfectly in here.”

Both girls continued their tour through the building. The next section was a very special and rare among all companies for Hybrid rights. The company had built a small, separated building next to the main house, that was just meant for the clients to live in. If a Hybrid would decide to accuse someone or lawsuit someone in court, his owner would probably not welcome them back home with open arms. The company provided them a bed to sleep and something to eat while they had to wait for their verdicts.

Hope had seen all kinds of Hybrids walking around in that building. Some of them looked at her in a scared way, other were more open and asked her what she was doing there. Every time Hope had told them that she was a new addition to the company, the Hybrids’ eyes would began to sparkle with hope. Sadly, they couldn’t stay as long as Hope wanted to stay, because they had a strict schedule.

“Okay, we are now coming to our last section. In those rooms, there are the interrogations are taking their places.” Laura explained, before she turned around o face Hope directly. To the smaller girl’s surprise, her face was now worried and strict. “We have all kinds of cases there. The ones who came willingly, but also the ones who have to. For the papers, every Hybrid has to deliver a statement, but as you know, most of the judges doesn’t care about that. Like I said, it’s just for the papers.”

Laura pushed open a new door and lead both of them into a totally new room. The room looked similar to the reception room they had passed in the beginning of their tour. There was also a reception and many, different doors on every side of the room.

“We will also start our work here.” Laura told her, as she showed the lady at the reception her ID-card and walked towards a big shelf with many different folders. She grabbed one of them and shoved it into Hope’s arms. “Here. Our long-time and hardest case. He was accused for aggressive behaviour against state authorities. He had been here for almost two months now, but unfortunately, we don’t know anything about him, because he refuses to talk to us. His court date is in 30 days, and if we don’t get his statement, he will go straight to jail for several years.”

Hope’s heart was racing in her chest when she opened the folder with the Hybrid’s information.

Name: Kim, Namjoon

Date of bird: 12th September 2026

Breed: Mexican Grey wolf

Origin: Seoul, South Korea

Accusation:

Illegal abidance without a registration, resistance to state orders, aggressive behaviour against state authorities

Hope’s eyes fell onto the picture that was pinned at the top of the file. It showed a picture of an actually beautiful, young man who looked pretty tiredly and powerless into the camera. Immediately, Hope had the feeling that she should protect that boy from everything. The way his emotionless eyes were looking into the camera made it clear that he had already given up.

“What are we going to do with him?” Hope carefully asked but never took her eyes off of his picture.

“The same procedure as every day.” Laura dryly answered, before she walked towards the last door at the end of the room. “We will try to talk to him. If he answers, we can finally take a step forward and if not, we will do the same tomorrow.”

Hope closed the boy’s file and walked with confident steps towards her new college. She was determined that she would help this boy at all it would cost. She took a last, deep breath, as Laura pushed the door of the interrogation room open.

The room was decorated decent with only a table in the middle, a small cupboard and some flowers. It didn’t look intimidating though. On the other side at the window was a boy standing. He had his back turned towards both woman and was not turning around when they entered, his grey, fluffy tail was waving slowly from side to side.

Even from the distance, Hope could see that Namjoon was pretty tall and muscular. The grey jacket he was wearing was falling over is broad shoulders and over his baggy pants.

“Good morning, Namjoon.” Laura calmly said towards the boy, who had suddenly stopped to swing his tail around. “I brought a guest with me today. This is Hope. She is working with us from now on, and I hope you don’t mind her being here with me.”

Hope took another step further inside the room, with her eyes still fixed on the only boy here. Namjoon took a few deep breaths, before he slowly turned his head around. Hope held her breath when his sharp, dark eyes met hers for the very first time. For the split of a second, they just stared into each other’s eyes like there was nothing else around them, before Namjoon moved his eyes up and down her body an turned back to look out of the window.

Laura let out a small sighed of frustration. She gave Hope a last glance, before she sat down at the table. Hope on the other hand didn’t sit down. She guest that Laura and Namjoon had in some way a connection to each other and after all, Hope should just watch.

“So, how have you been, Namjoon?” Laura tried again, talking directly towards the boy.

The room fell in silence for a few minutes. Namjoon completely ignored both woman who were still looking expectedly at the tall boy. He just kept looking out of the window, his tail slightly moving through the air. Hope could see the sadness in his deep brown eyes. He looked so tired and powerless, but not because he didn’t sleep, more because he had mentally no energy left.

“Okay, Namjoon.” Laura sighed again, before she opened up a small note book. “You know I will have to ask you the same questions as always. I would love to see you cooperate with us, so we can help you.”

No reaction. It seemed like Namjoon was blocking out everything Laura was telling him and Hope already knew why. Laura was a nice and calm woman, but her strategy to get him to talk was completely wrong. At least when it came to the wolf Hybrid. How could he possible trust Laura, when he had absolutely no emotionally connection to her?

It was something Hope had learnt in the last few months. The process of trusting someone, especially when someone had been hurt and betrayed so many times, needed more space and much more time. It was not enough for Namjoon to gain trust in someone who would only spend two hours a day asking him questions.

“Hope.” Laura turned her head towards the blond haired girl. “I will go and get the three of us something to drink. Do you think you can stay here alone?”

Hope quickly nodded her head, and Laura headed out of the room, leaving the wolf and the small girl alone. The tension in the room seemed to grow with every passing second. The girl knew that she had to be really careful with what she was saying and doing. He should know that she was someone he could emotionally trust.

Slowly and with small steps, Hope walked around the table and over towards the large window. Standing there with a certain distance to Namjoon, the small girl leant her hands onto the window sill and looked outside. It was obvious that the tall boy was yearning for freedom. Of course, he was practically free to do everything while he was living here but after all, he was also like a prisoner who was waiting for his last day to come.

“You are wasting your time here.” Namjoon’s deep voice suddenly filled the silence in the room. “They have sent many psychologists here to get me to talk. I don’t need this.”

Hope turned her head to face the boy to her left. Though he had sent his words into her direction, he was not looking at her. His grey and white ears were standing still on top of his head, while he was now wrapping his tail around his right leg.

Hope knew this gesture by now. Jin would always wrap his long tail around his left leg when he felt embarrassed or shy, while Jimin would always do it when he was scared or insecure about something.

“I – I am not a psychologist. I am a lawyer.” She almost whispered, as she turned her head away from Namjoon. “I just finished my university degree. That’s why Laura brought me with her today.”

From the corner of her eyes, Hope saw how Namjoon turned his head to look at her side. He looked at her for several seconds, before she could suddenly head him sniffing the air a few times.

“Your scent is – quiet unusual.” He stated and this time, it was her who turned her head.

A small smile formed on her lips. She knew exactly what he was referring to when he mentioned her scent. Living together with 5 male Hybrids who wanted to cuddle as often as possible, left the girl covered in all of their scents.

“Our home is pretty hectical.” She laughed, before she lifted her gaze and met the boy’s eyes. “I live together with 5 Hybrids. All of the boys – they literally stumbled into my life, and it just clicked with us.”

Hope paid especially attention to use words like our home, together or us, to show Namjoon that she didn’t have any intentions to harm anyone. The tall boy on the other hand was now looking at her with wide eyes.

“You adopted 5 Hybrids?” He mumbled under his breath.

“No.” Hope replied calmly. “Just two of them. Jin and Jungkook have been living with me for several months now, but Jimin, Taehyung and Hobi have only been with us for a few weeks. We all are still getting used to each other, but yes, I – I also want to adopt them someday.”

Hope didn’t knew if it would be the right choice to tell him about how they all had ended up together, but he needed to knew where her passion to save Hybrids was coming from.

“I – I kind of rescued them.” She started talking again. “Jungkook and Jin came from a really bad home. Their owners had much money, but didn’t care about them. I found Jungkook by accident, and when he told me about his brother, I had no other choice than getting him out there. Later, I met Jimin. He and his brother needed help, so I offered them to stay with me and the boys. Hobi came to us a few days ago. He recognized Jin when we went shopping together. I saw and I still can see their suffers and I knew that they are safe with me. But I also know that thousands of Hybrids are not that lucky. That’s why I am here for.”

Both adults were now looking deep into each other’s eyes. Maybe Namjoon would not trust from one second to another, but he now had enough time to think about what she had told him and after all, he already spoke to her. That was a good sign.

“I am not here for the papers or to tell you some psychical stuff, Namjoon.” She said again after a few seconds of silence. “I know how hard it is for you to open up. I went through it more often than I would like, but I will defend you in front of the court, whether you talk to me or not.”

[Inspirations | Recommendations]

@starlightauroras-writes

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[ender-baggins]

Just watched 14x13 Lebanon.

Will preface with the fact that this was a bit of my commentary on the previous episode, and that I do think John Winchester was a crap parent

Lebanon was a pretty good episode, actually. I know some people hate it, and I started off prepared to seethe every moment that John was on screen. but then I managed to get one foot out of the John-crit zone and put it in Sam and Dean’s shoes, and looking at it from both perspectives? The episode has a lot of nuance to it.

Spoilers for this 14x13 Lebanon (obviously)

Overall I think the most important thing to remember about this episode: the theme is that some things are too good to be true.

I knew which episode it was, but I was surprised because I thought it has been in season 15, and then John didn’t show up for a while, so I thought I was wrong until the Pearl came up.

I gotta hand it to Jensen. When John appeared, there were so many emotions packed into Dean’s face in that first short scene, I had to rewatch it several times to get them. Part of it was simple shock, but I could also see… something a little like panic in his face, along with Waay too many emotions for me to name.

The conversation between Sam and John was… I started off mad and then focused more on Sam’s perspective and realized that… yeah, Sam isn’t the same person he was last time he saw his dad. And he didn’t get closure. He never got a chance to get real closure on it, and then here, he did, at least in some form.

Also, interesting thing I noticed- I could see the beginnings of how it could turn into another argument, and John said something that seemed a little accusatory, “you didn’t have a problem talking about it before you left,” and then Sam was like “nope, not gonna argue, not gonna do it, REDIRECTING-“ Which, after what Dean said in the scene before—

—Sam doesn’t want to mess this up for Dean. No way is he gonna start a fight, not now, not when they just got their dad back.

I don’t like the last line of Sam and John’s conversation: “But you did your best, dad. You – you fought for us, and you loved us, and… that’s enough.” Because honestly- it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t. And… dammit he could have done better. But then again, that’s Sam’s dad, and he’s been dead for over a decade, and sometimes people tend to put rose-colored glasses on over the past. So I’ll still happily condemn John’s parenting but I won’t condemn Sam just because he’s unable to see things for what they are in this case.

Now- my absolute favorite part of this entire episode is the section of Sam and Dean going to get groceries and noticing things are changed, and realizing “oh shit, what else is different?”

One, gotta love Dean for implying that Sam being a kale nut is a worse thing than Dean being considered a serial killer by society (which, it’s not like society is wrong??). Like, ah yes, wonderful priorities there, Dean. You’re a wanted killer with your face up in the town, but clearly Sam giving a lecture about the wonders of kale is a much worse thing. (If you can’t tell, I’m being incredibly sarcastic here)

And then here. Castiel’s appearance. I was screeching watching this. Completely freaking out- so much adrenaline. I bet if I’d taken my pulse it would have been skyrocketing-

This was followed by the scene of Castiel and Zachariah in the restaurant, which was Awesome, very clearly highlighting the difference that Dean and the Winchesters made in Cas’s life (later this will be relevant in the Confession - “You changed me, Dean”).

*cue me posting an unnecessary amount of screenshots*

Castiel unfurls his wings—

(Note the messy hair from flying around everywhere. Not the same as his old haircut, but they did what they could with Misha’s hair at the time)

Notice that Dean’s got the angel blade point down, and when he attacks Castiel, he’s using the blunt end to hit him, not the sharp end

(On the other hand, Sam uses the sharp end of the blade to swipe at Castiel. No judgement from me here, Sam sees this as “not our Cas” while Dean still sees this as “my Cas, I can talk him away from Heaven again.”)

Then, the most interesting thing here- when Cas pins Dean agains the wall, Dean’s not even trying to fight Cas here.

See how his hand settles on Castiel’s chest? Not really pressing, just touching. His other hand is gripping Castiel’s wrist, I imagine to try to remove enough pressure from his neck that he can speak. Trying to use his connection to Cas to get Castiel to stop hurting him. And it doesn’t work. Castiel stares him the eyes, not even a flicker of doubt or questioning.

You’ll note that I referred to alternate Castiel in this episode as exclusively “Castiel” and not “Cas.” Because it’s not Cas. Cas is the angel that saved Dean from Hell, and the angel that’s been by Dean’s side for 11 years (at this point in time). And this Castiel has not done that. So he is not Cas.

I’m reminded of the scene wayy back in season 5 where Cas beats Dean up in the alley for trying to give up and give in to Michael. There, Dean actually encouraged Cas to kill him, at the end, and Cas softens. Can’t exactly parse out the parallels there because my brain isn’t working, but there you go.

Now, probably my favorite conversation with John is this one, with Dean.

Right here. The way that Dean says “I have a family.”

It feels almost defiant. “I do have a family. I have Sam, Cas, Mom, Jack. My mother, my brother, my best friend… and I have a son, we all have a son. And beyond that, I’ve got Jody and Donna and Claire and the girls. I do have a family. Yeah, it doesn’t look like the apple pie life, the white picket fence, wife and kids, and yeah, our son is the child of Lucifer, and yeah, I’m in love with my best friend who’s an angel in a man’s body, and I wouldn’t trade him for any woman, and you’d hate that. But they’re my family. And I’m good with that.”

It’s proud, it’s a little defiant, it’s also a little bit of a reassurance, as we see from John’s smile afterward. I don’t think John caught the hint of a challenge in there.

I loved that moment. That might be my favorite line in the entire episode. “I have a family.”

I also like… Dean’s acceptance, “I’m good with who I am.” Part of that… I think it’s both a good thing and a sad thing and also a half lie at the same time. I think he’s good with who he is, in the sense that he’s accepted that he and Sam are the people that have to fill this role in the world, y’know, saving everyone. I think he loves the people he’s with, he loves his family and wouldn’t trade them for anything, not even having John back. No way would he ever trade Cas or Jack or Sam, or Mary, for anything else, ever.

It’s sad, though, because it’s like… he can’t imagine who he’d be if he had a different life. Yes, he’s had a few runs at an apple-pie life, but they weren’t happy, there was always something wrong nagging at him. He… I think he believes there’s no way for him to be happy, and that this is the best he could have.

I’m not even sure how to analyze the goodbye scene. I mean, the clearest thing here is just so much grief from everyone. They got a taste of their father back, and now he has to go back to being dead. There’s so many complicated feelings for both of the brothers, because of the complicated relationship with John, but in the end? They can’t help but love him, and they can’t help but feel grief at losing him. I won’t fault them for that.

In short, I wanna give Dean a gigantic hug and also give him therapy-

And then Cas coming back to the bunker when he did. I bet he sensed something and headed back to the bunker as fast as he could. Also, no clue what he experienced during the whole “Castiel and Zachariah are alive” thing. I imagine it’s possible there were two Cas’s running around for a bit? Because Mary didn’t get affected by the pearl. And Sam was there with his own memories, despite there being videos up of him doing things in the parallel universe. As for Cas, he’s part of Dean’s group of “people” so my guess is two Castiels running around for a little bit.

I like how Dean looks at Cas at the end. He’s relieved to have his angel back.

In summary-

The theme of this episode is “some things are too good to be true.” John came back, the four of them got their moment together, but John couldn’t stay. Things were good for that single afternoon, because everyone was just happy to see each other again, but it sent so much stuff into chaos that it couldn’t last, it had to be undone. And even then, if they’d tried to keep going with it, I know it would have degraded, the illusion of perfection would shatter, and they’d fall into old habits, old arguments and new ones.

And so it had to end.

[horansqueen]

New Angel - Chapter 17

story masterlist [x]

chapter 1  ☆ chapter 2  ☆ chapter 3  ☆ chapter 4  ☆ chapter 5  ☆ chapter 6  ☆ chapter 7  ☆ chapter 8 ☆ chapter 9 ☆ chapter 10 ☆ chapter 11 ☆ chapter 12 ☆ chapter 13 ☆ chapter 14 ☆ chapter 15 ☆ chapter 16

NOTES

☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.5k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

NIALL

As soon as I entered the bar, the smell of cigarettes invaded my nose. I raised it up slightly and tried to follow Millie through the mob of people already gathered near the scene. A few more were sitting at tables with a drink and I let my eyes roam around quickly until I felt a hand reach for mine. Millie squeezed my fingers and pulled on my hand gently. I was not really sure if it was so I would walk quicker or if she was just scared we'd lose each other but I squeezed her fingers back, apologizing as I pushed people on my way.

We ended up in front of the scene and I glanced back to see if anyone was pissed at us for stealing their spot until the lights turned down and everyone started screaming. Three guys appeared on stage and immediately started playing. One of them sent a smile to my best friend, greeting her with a small chin movement and a wink, and she smiled back, waving slightly.

When Millie proposed that we'd go see one of her friends' band play tonight, I didn't expect it to be in some unknown bar with a bunch of drunk losers but the atmosphere was nice and after the third song, I realized that I actually enjoyed the music even if it was not the type I normally listen to.

Millie was jumping around, dancing pretty much in the same way she did in the living room of our apartment, and it made me smile. I watched her for a few minutes until she turned around and bent down slightly to grab one of my hands. Without thinking, I pulled on it and made her twirl around. I couldn't hear her laughter but I saw her laugh when she faced me again and she pulled on my arm, inciting me to join her. We danced for a few minutes before I actually started feeling at ease but I couldn't help it and from time to time, I made her twirl around just to see her smile grown every single time.

I don't know how many songs they played or for how long but when they finally left to stage, I was panting and exhausting but the smile plastering my face wouldn't leave. We walked to the bar and its only when Millie let go of my hand to lean her elbows on the counter that I realized we had been hand in hand the whole time, even as we walked up to order drinks. It didn't bother me. In fact, it felt quite nice to get some human contact, and I stared at my friend as she ordered some fancy drink.

"So, how did you like it?" Millie asked, raising her eyebrows.

I blinked a few times, getting out of my thoughts slowly and my lips curled again. "They're amazing! How do you know them?"

Her nose raised up in a grimace and she shrugged a shoulder. "I dated the guitarist."

"Oh." I just said, a bit surprised.

He didn't seem to be her type but I didn't comment anything and just ordered a beer.

"Yea, I know. But I really liked him." she explained with a shrug, looking away.

"You don't have tio justify yourself, Mill." I pointed out, reaching for her arm and squeezing it gently.

She turned to me and sent me a smile but I jumped slightly when someone actually touched me. I turned around meeting the brown eyes of a gorgeous brunette who was sending me a smile, her head slightly tilted.

"Hey, uhm, I was wondering if you wanted to buy me a drink?"

I felt Millie's arm slip away from my hand but I remained motionless as I stared at the girl smiling at me. I was already having problems deciding between two girls, adding a third one to the story, even if only for one night, was way too much to handle at the moment. Besides, I knew she was gorgeous but for some reason, I was not attracted much. Perhaps the fact that I was not over Grace yet and that I was sort of seeing Summer didn't help but it didn't matter.

"I'm sorry, maybe an other day."

The girl's smile faltered for half a second and she finally just shrugged. "You don't know what you're missing."

She turned around and left, pushing her hair off her shoulder and it made me chuckle and shake my head. Somehow, she reminded me of Grace and it annoyed me. Was she really like Grace or was I just too obsessed with my ex girlfriend, resulting in me seeing her literally everywhere?

"Wow, that was awkward." I pointed out with an amused smile, turning to Millie who just raised her eyebrows.

"Imagine for me."

I frowned and moved my head but just as I was about to ask her what she meant, that guy from the band (and her ex boyfriend) appeared. She turned to him, sending him a big smile, and threw herself in his arms. He held her tight, lifting her of a few inches for two or three seconds and finally put her back down. I had no idea why but he was annoying me but I was not going to mention it.

I followed them to a table and somehow, as I watched them interact, I realized that I barely knew anything about the old relationships Millie had had before Louis. I couldn't understand how I had not been interested in befriending this girl before and it was crazy to think we could have had this friendship years before if we had taken the time to talk.

Millie and Peter talked for half an hour and every time he made her laugh, I frowned and I was not sure why. It was a bit scary to think she could want to go back to this guy because of how badly Louis had hurt her and at the same time, I would understand if she wanted to throw herself into something new if only to forgot or try to move on. After all, I had started some sort of relationship with Summer even if I was clearly not ready to move on from Grace.

I got out of my thoughts and held my breath when I noticed Millie leaning her head against his shoulder and just quickly got up to get an other drink. I knew it was better if I gave them some space but when I walked back to the table, Millie was getting up. I frowned as she turned to me and sent me a smile and I couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Do you want to leave?"

"If it's okay with you."

I nodded and took a long sip of my beer before handing it to her. She smiled a bit and took it from my hand, swallowing what was left and leaving it on the table.

"Thank you."

"Of course, pet."

I was expecting her to complain about the nickname but she just walked past me and I followed her until we were out of the bar. We remained silent for a while as we walked to my car and after a while, I just licked my lips and glanced at her.

"Did something happen with Peter?" I asked softly, making her turn around and frown at me. "You seem... I don't know... sad."

Millie avoided my gaze and brought her shoulder up as she wrapped her arms around her waist. Without thinking, I took my hoodie off and handed it to her. She stopped walking and looked at the navy sweater in my hands before shaking her head slightly.

I didn't insist but let my arm fall down next to me with a sigh. "What's wrong, Mill?"

She sighed too but turned around to keep walking. It's only when we reached my car that she leaned her butt against it and closed her eyes. I took a step closer in an attempt to hide her from the cool wind and waited.

"That girl earlier, the one who flirted with you." she paused and licked her lips, keeping her eyes closed. "She knew someone like you would never date someone like me. It didn't even cross her mind that we could be together, even if we had danced together, even if we held hands and even if you were holding my arm when she arrived. She knew. And I know I normally don't give much attention to these things but... it hurt. This time, it really hurt."

"That girl was entitled and a bit stupid." I explained, moving closer and putting my hands on her shoulders. "That's probably why she flirted. I also know a few girls who really dont care if the guy is taken or not. To be quite honest, she most likely didn't even notice you! She was probably obsessed with how handsome I am."

"Oh shut up!" Millie laughed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

"Mill, anyone would be lucky to date you."

"Oh yea? So you'd date an average fat girl?"

My traits softened and in the way she had talked, I could hear all the pain she was feeling at the moment. It was crazy how I seemed to connect to Millie, probably because both our hearts were broken and we could understand each other.

"You know who I'd date? I'd date someone I love, someone I trust. I'd date someone who cares about me, and that I care about. Someone who listens to me, makes me laugh, someone empathic, kind... someone who helps me become a better person, a better version of myself. Someone I'm at ease with and feel safe around. Someone I connect with. It doesn't matter if that person is fat or skinny, tall or short, Blonde or brunette. It's not what matters."

Millie stared in my eyes for about a minute, nibbling on her bottom lip and finally licked it.

"Wow, I always thought you were shallow." she admitted in a very low tone, making me raise my eyebrows.

"What? Why?"

She raised her nose up, a bit embarrassed by her word and finally shrugged a shoulder. "Because of the type of girls you date."

"God I hate when you day that." I confessed, letting my hands slip on her arms and fall on each side of me. "I hate that you think I'm like that. When you mentioned it at the bar, it really hurt me, or annoyed me. Or both. That's why I picked Summer, because she was the complete opposite of the description you gave of my 'type'." I added, doing quotation marks with my fingers as I said the last word. "I don't want you to see me as a shallow man who cares only about the body or whatever."

"I don't see you like that." she whispered. My eyes met hers and my heart skipped a beat. "I mean, I used to, it's true. But in the past few weeks, I got to know you and... I love what I see, Niall. You're a good guy with a heart of gold. You're funny, smart, open-minded... And that thing you said about the person you'd date? That was deep, I love it."

Slowly, my lips curled on the right and I nodded. I suddenly felt lighter, knowing that Millie didn't see me as a horrible and shallow person anymore.

"I was wrong about you, Niall."

"Yea, I was wrong about you too."

Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her closer. I felt her hands on my back and leaned my cheek against her head for a while before finally pulling away and bending down slightly to look in her eyes.

"Ready to go home?"

"Fuck yes." she chuckled, nodding frenetically. "I need my sweatpants and a warm tea!"

"You can still put my hoodie on, you know." I proposed with a smile as I walked around the car.

"I told you, Niall, your clothes don't fit me."

I lost my smile, not knowing what to answer, and finally just opened the door to sit behind the wheel. When we walked back home, Millie walked to her room and I walked to mine, putting sweatpants and a t-shirt on before searching through my drawers. I walked back to the living room, seeing my friend already sitting on the couch wearing pretty much the same outfit as me. I sat next to her and handed her an other hoodie, making her frown.

"Please, try it on."

Her gaze moved from the hoodie to my eyes, then back at the hoodie. She licked her lips nervously and finally grabbed it and put it on very quickly. A big smile drew itself on my lips when she raised her eyebrows, staring at the front of the shirt she was now wearing.

"Perfect." I pointed out in a low tone. Her head moved up quickly and her eyes met mine before I leaned against the couch, still looking at her. "It's yours, now."

I watched her traits soften and her expression change into a loving one. She tilted her head again and brought her shoulders closer to her cheeks as she nibbled on her bottom lip some more. "Thanks, Niall."

"You're totally welcome."

I placed my arm on my thigh, palm up and fingers spread. A bigger smile appeared on her lips and she placed her hand in mine before we intertwined our fingers together. I started the next episode of a new tv show we were watching together and smiled more when I felt her head on my shoulder.

I thought about Grace suddenly, and then about Summer. It made me realize we hadn't talked about them or about Louis at all on that evening, and that the lists we were supposed to fill were totally forgotten but somehow, it made me feel good. I didn't want to think about it, I didn't want to feel nervous about the fact that I was supposed to pick the girl I wanted to be with in less than three days.

I also felt like Millie was happier when we didn't mention Louis and I just hoped he wouldn't show up while we were watching tv together, knowing it would literally ruin Millie's night.

We would probably fill the lists on the next day and I found comfort in the thought of sharing that with Millie. I don't know what I'd do if I'd have to go through all of this by myself.

After a while, I felt Millie's head heavier on my shoulder and noticed that her breathing had slowed down. I looked at her, trying not to move too much to make sure I wouldn't wake her up, and noticed she was asleep, her lips slightly parted. I don't know how long I stayed motionless with Millie sleeping against me but eventually I fell asleep too, realizing I hadn't felt that light and happy in a very long time.