#i have to go through them manually to keep them in order so this is why it feels so tedious 😔😔😔

[starmocha]

wanting to do some writing but also wanting to take more illusio screencaps (especially of Zayne in That Hairstyle) but also needing to download all of the illusio screencaps i've already taken and helpppp i've just downloaded 1.2k screencaps and not close to being done 😭😭😭 and i also need to transfer them to my old laptop and also backup all of those files Just In Case 😔

i might have a problem 😔

this will be worth it, i say with tears in my eyes as i do this miserably tedious task

[astrolook]

Venus in the houses

Venus in the 1st House : Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the most fabulous of all ? It's Me.

You’ve never met a filter you didn’t like.

Love at first sight? You’re basically an app for it.

Getting married? You’re the whole package—gift wrapped in glamour.

You can make a paper bag look like haute couture.

Open to plastic surgery/beauty enhancement procedures.

Venus in the 2nd House : I’m just financially fabulous.

You’re a walking manifestation of “treat yourself.”

Your idea of a “fun investment” is high-end makeup.

Money may not buy happiness, but it buys a killer wardrobe.

Cosmetic collection? It’s more of a museum at this point.

You could turn a thrift store into a designer boutique.

Venus in the 3rd House : Talk to me. I make every word sound like gold.

Beauty tips? You pass them on like life-changing wisdom.

Makeup is optional, but your smile is mandatory.

Takes 25 pictures to make sure whether you look good in a selfie.

You could make an IKEA instruction manual sound like Shakespeare. You’re not just talking, you’re seducing with your words.

Love letters are basically your second language.

Venus in the 4th House : Home is where the luxury is, and so am I.

Probably have a Pinterest account with luxury home décor pins.

You take pictures like you are in for a Vogue photoshoot.

Your partner requirement: must appreciate candlelit dinners and spontaneous home makeovers.

Your family is either all-in for gourmet meals or leaving the house for takeout.

Your house plants probably have their own Instagram.

Venus in the 5th House: I don’t just fall in love, I make it a production.

You don’t “date,” you audition for the role of soulmate.

Your flirt game is so strong, even Siri has a crush on you.

Your idea of a “low-key evening” involves five outfit changes and a selfie.

Your idea of “casual” is wearing heels to the grocery store.

You don’t “catch feelings,” you produce them—like a movie sequel no one asked for.

Venus in the 6th House : Effortlessly fabulous, even while folding laundry.

You love self-care—so much that it’s practically a ritual.

Probably post pictures of their prepped meals on Instagram.

Your health routine involves pampering, not sweating.

You’ll never date someone who doesn’t have their life together (including their laundry).

You attract people with cleanliness, not just your charm (but mostly your charm).

Venus in the 7th House: I’m not picky, I just attract perfection in love.

You attract love like it’s the latest fashion trend.

Kind of partner? You wrote the manual on that.

Love is art, and you’re the masterpiece.

Your soulmate better have their life together, including an emergency fund and excellent taste in movies.

Your relationship advice is as chic as your wardrobe.

Venus in the 8th House: I love deeply… and live luxuriously in the process.

You’ve got that “rich in mystery” vibe going on.

Your partner could be wealthier than you.

Your love life is so intense, it might need a fire extinguisher.

You don’t just fall in love—you plunge.

You’re basically a passionate volcano of emotions.

Venus in the 9th House : I’m off to discover the world… and look fabulous doing it.

You fall in love like you fall in love with new cultures or people of other nationalities.

Your idea of romance? Passport, plane ticket, and luxury.

You’re not just looking for a lover; you need a travel buddy with a PhD.

If they can’t keep up with your wanderlust, you’ll probably ghost them at the airport.

Your ideal partner? Someone who can read Kant and order food in French.

Venus in the 10th House: Looking for a partner? Better come with a résumé.

You don’t date; you network—and maybe fall in love later.

Your ideal relationship is as high profile as your LinkedIn.

You’re not here for a fling—you want a power couple partnership.

If love’s a game, I’m playing to win.

Could meet your partner through your job.

Venus in the 11th House: Looking for love—must like my friends (they come first).

You need someone who shares your love of weird hobbies and social causes, or else it’s a deal-breaker.

You’re not falling in love, you’re curating your social circle... one date at a time.

Relationships for you? They're like your social media feed—always with a “#couplegoals” vibe.

Follows skin and hair care or hair style tutorials on YouTube.

90 percent of your google searches would be "how to make your hair grow faster", "best products for glowing skin",etc

Venus in the 12th House: Can’t love you if I haven’t analyzed my dreams first.

You don’t date—you swoon from afar in secret, like a true romantic introvert.

Probably have some skin and food allergies.

You fall for someone and then ghost yourself—the ultimate Venus in the 12th move.

You only fall for people who don’t even know they’re in love with you yet.

Your idea of a date? Talking about your past lives—or maybe just your weirdest dreams.

Love is like a hidden treasure—you’ll find it, but only if you’re deep enough in your feelings (or your journal that you don't show it to anyone).

So whether you're romancing in secret, hosting a business meeting disguised as a date, or curating your perfect Instagram-worthy love life, remember: Venus is just here to make it fabulous. Just don't forget to bring the skincare, Wi-Fi, and maybe a Google search or two. Keep shining, keep loving, and keep being your amazing, quirky self—Venus has got your back!

Curious about your birth chart and what it's really saying about you? 🌟 Slide into my DMs for a personalized astrology reading, and let's unlock the secrets of your stars. ✨ Don’t forget to check out my pinned post for pricing details! 🔮 Let’s make those cosmic connections happen! 🌙🌌

[mylovesstuffs]

OT13 with high maintenance s/o

A/N: Lost that ask in the void probably but this was requested by an anon 😭

Seungcheol: He’s high-key into it. He’ll really buy you five perfumes for one outfit because he knows how you love to have options. Carries your bag, memorizes your skincare steps, and pre-orders your faves before you even ask. The man lives to spoil you.

Jeonghan: Master manipulator meets diva energy; a match made in heaven. You want all the attention? He’ll give it, but he expects it back. He’s playful about it, teasing, “You’re so high-maintenance, how do I even keep up?” But he still loves being your only person. Lovesssss to buy you random things and loves how you take care of yourself.

Joshua: Smiles through it but definitely needs a manual at first lol. He adjusts quickly though. You want to look fancy for brunch? He’s coordinating his outfit. You’re picky about your drinks? He’ll memorize your order. If it makes you happy, he’s down, becaussseeeeeee, you’re his priority. He loves it that you know what you deserve and don't settle for anything less.

Jun: He actually finds you fascinating and loves you for iy. You take two hours to get ready, you'll find him watching you get ready. He’s supportive, maybe even starts copying you lmao. You want to look like royalty? Let me help you pick your crown; prime example of this behaviour.

Hoshi: In the beginning of the relationship, he was very confused but committed. “Wait… we’re late because your lashes weren’t symmetrical?” He’s learning on the job but he tries so hard. Gets overly proud when he finally gets your coffee right. Always enthusiastic: “You look like a queen!!” his queen.

Wonwoo: Ykw? Chill king with the drama [slaying] queen 💅🏻 Your energy overwhelms him a bit, but he secretly likes that you bring noise and color into his monotonous world. He’ll listen patiently to you rant about hair serum vs oil like it’s life-or-death. Buys you gifts with zero complaint [and he actually wants to buy you things you like].

Woozi: Internal screaming intensifies. You’re the opposite of his minimalist lifestyle, but he adapts because he cares. “Why do you need thirty throw pillows?” But he’ll fluff them anyway. He’ll get grumpy sometimes, but his love language is lowkey acts of service. Expect him to custom-make you a personalized closet system just because he can 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dokyeom: Thinks it’s adorable, will hype you up so much. “You’re so picky about everything… that’s so cute!!” He loves and so into pampering you and making you happy. Carries your shopping bags, takes outfit pics from every angle, and sings to you while you do your 10-step routine.

Mingyu: He’ll do your skincare with you. He’s got the patience for your outfits, the taste for your aesthetic, and he lives to treat you like royalty. “You want another lip gloss? Cool, let’s get six.” He’s your chauffeur, chef, stylist, and biggest fan. He's a loser for you fr, mark my words.

Minghao: Absolutely supports it—as long as it’s within lines. He doesn’t mind your preferences, but if it’s for show or insecurity, he’ll call it out. “If this makes you happy, I’ll support it. But don’t feel like you have to be perfect for anyone, not even me.” Will treat you with respect and spoil you in his refined, minimalist way.

Seungkwan: Overwhelmed, but will do it all anyway. You want to go to three stores for the right nail polish shade? “I—okay, let me grab my bag.” Complains like a sitcom husband, but deep down he loves being needed. Will absolutely turn into your glam team. “You want curls or waves today, baby??”

Vernon: Baffled, blinks a lot, He’s like, “You need four lip oils? What do they even do?” But he’s chill. He won’t always understand the need, but he’ll support you. Might even help you compare filters for selfies. “You like the third one? Cool, post it.”

Dino: You confuse the hell out of him at first, but he adapts. This man is willing to learn. You want luxury, so he’s reading reviews. You like constant attention? He’s there. High-maintenance doesn’t scare him, instead, it motivates him. If that’s what you need, he'll figure it out.

[winterdeepelegy]

Vanilla Gpose Tips

I get asked occasionally how I make my screenshots if I'm not using shaders or mods. The short answer: Patience. Gpose's suite of tools is a lot more robust than it used to be when it was first released. But if you want a screenshot to really shine without using third party add-ons, it's not something you can just go into gpose, take a printscreen and get back out. You might capture a moment with nice lighting that way, but it takes more than that. 1. Choosing a location and time of day is job one. What kind of mood are you trying to convey? Does your intended screenshot have a theme (or a prompt?) or are you just looking at your new glam and marveling at how fine your character looks in it? Does a lighter or darker setting suit the character better? Setting, time of day, and weather can affect this. 2. You can stop time and weather from changing. I keep this on by default because it can take upwards of 30 minutes IRL to fine tune a screenshot. The middle button below. Make sure it's highlighted.

3. Toggle battle effects on/off. It's the button right next to the time/weather stop, the icon of the guy holding the sword. If the icon is highlighted as it is in the screenshot, your battle effects are on. If you want to capture pure motion and not worry about battle effects, turn this off. 4. Wet effect. Use it, use it, use it. It doesn't just make clothes look wet and make skin glossy, it actually helps to bring out texture and detail on the character's outfit. Especially since the graphics updates in 7.1. I've found it also adds shine to hair and can help the eyes stand out more.

5. Sticker Mode. Yes, there are oodles of cute minion stickers, flags, and numbers, but there are also some great effects to be found in the Decorations category! Sparkles and twinkles, lens flare, among other things can help enhance metallic points on a glamour, AND they can be resized! So if you want a more subtle twinkle on the edge of your spectacles or earrings, you can tilt and downsize your desired sparkle. There are also cute flowers and hearts. 6. Quick Keys. If you're playing on a keyboard, the 1 on your top number row freezes the screenshot. This is extremely helpful if you're trying to catch a battle emote right at a specific moment. If you miss it, keep trying because emotes will continue to cycle until you change them. R and Scroll Lock will both hide/unhide the gpose controls. X will turn on lighting. Space Bar will toggle your character to stop them from facing the camera and vice versa. 7. Lighting Intensity is Dependent on Distance. The closer you're zoomed in on your character, the brighter the light is going to be when you turn it on. Try adjusting your zoom in or out and toggling the light to see if the illumination is to your liking. You can also adjust the RGB on the lights to fit the mood/environment. I also recommend turning on Manual Brightness. 8. Color Filter and Screen Effect. These two features, in my opinion, require the most patience. Not every color filter and screen effect will work well together in every scenario. Click through and preview all of them in your screenshots and see if some SE's work better with your preferred CF. You might find an unexpected combination that you love. Trailer and Echo color filters are great for flashbacks (no one uses Aetherometer, it's an eye bleeder). Use the Pencil or one of the monochrome CFs and Noise 2 SE to create a nice black and white film or photo effect. 9. Frames. Frames are one of the more limited features and not always needed in order to capture a great screenshot. Action poses benefit from the Cinema frames, however, while more lighthearted moments play well with the photo options.

10. Emotes. Before you enter Gpose, be sure to /groundsit to clear your most recent emotes. Summoning mounts and minions also count as emotes for the sake of Gpose. By the same token, you can use battle abilities before entering Gpose, and this is what it will cycle through. You can't activate a battle ability while IN Gpose. You will have access to all of your non-battle emotes and facial expressions, though. You can combine any emote with any facial expression by choosing the action first, and expression second, so you can /prettyplease and /awe at the same time to make your character look hilariously horrified. If you enter Gpose with an active battle ability, you can still apply a facial expression to it from within the tool. 11. Bits and Bobs. Enable Manual Focus and Depth of Field will help bring out the details of the background more, and will help to make a more cohesive screenshot. Manual Focus is great if you want your character in the frame, but you want to shift the focus elsewhere, to an object or another person in the background for example. In the same menu where you'll find emotes, click the second eye button to "Track Camera". Your character's eyes will follow the position of the camera. Lastly, again, have patience. Allow yourself time to play with all the tools Gpose has to offer. You're probably not going to get the winning screenshot after clicking Printscreen just one time, you should take multiple shots from different angles with different lighting and effects, then compare them all and pick the ones you like best. And remember, even if it's the true endgame, it's not a competition. Your screenshots are not "worse" or "boring" just because you're not using third party tools. I look forward to seeing what you create, and you should too.

[carriesthewind]

Ok. I am maybe kind of losing my mind just a little bit.

A few days ago, I mentioned in a post that the IA only cares about information being digitized, not about actual digital access. And I mentioned that access includes patrons being able to actually find what they are looking for, and suggested IA did not prioritize that critical aspect of access. But I didn't really go into any more detail.

So someone over on bluesky linked to this write-up of a talk Brewster Kahle gave about using so-called AI. And one of his reported statements made my mouth drop open in shock.

...and then I read further in the article and realized it was incorrectly reporting basic facts around Hachette, so I had to go and listen to the whole speech myself.* (And I want to say, briefly - he raises some legitimate potential uses for LLMs! He's kind of a dick about some of it ("it's up to us to go and keep [Balinese] culture alive"), but some of the things he's talking about actually seem useful.)

*Incidentally, while Kahle doesn't lie about the ALA brief in the speech, he absolutely misleads about the nature and facts of the case and deliberately omit the part of the story where the IA decided to suspend the one-to-one owned-to-loan ratio thing, despite repeatedly emphasizing that one-to-one was what the IA was doing with their lending program.

And oh my god. He really said what the article reports. (This portion starts around 20:10.)

He says that the IA has scanned over 18,000 periodicals. And that they used to have professional librarians manually create descriptions of the periodicals in order to catalog them. (Sidenote: there are existing directories, but he describes their licensing terms as "ridiculous." This is not a field I know much about, but I spoke to one person who agreed, though for different reasons. His reason is that you can only license, not purchase, the directory descriptions. The person I spoke to was instead focused on the prices demanded for the licenses. Regardless, the idea of creating an open, free directory seems both like an incredible amount of work and an amazing resource...if it was accurate.)

But according to Kahle, it took 45 minutes to an hour to create a description and catalog each periodical.

And so now, instead, they're using AI to make the descriptions and so it only takes 7-10 minutes!

"And yes it hallucinates, and it has some problems, and whatever — but it’s a lot faster than having to write it yourself!"

Oh. My god.

Just.

YOU ARE KNOWINGLY INTRODUCING AI HALLUCINATIONS INTO YOUR CATALOG?!

(And yes, he says that they are "confirmed by a librarian" but it can't really be, not if it's only taking 7-10 minutes! Maybe the librarian can do a quick check for super obvious errors, but actually checking a AI's summary work requires actually going back to the source and reviewing it yourself!)

I just....

I need to emphasize for those of you for who aren't familiar - if a book or article is miscataloged, it is effectively lost. Because it doesn't mater if a library or an archive owes it - if someone can't find it when they are looking for it, it is not only inaccessible, the only way to find it again is through chance. Imagine if you went into a library, but instead of organized shelves (where if even if you can't find what you're looking for, the librarians know where to look), every single book was just piled in a heap.

If a book is miscateloged, it still exists, but it is lost, not truly accessible. And they know that this is happening, "but whatever." Because Brewster Kahle doesn't actually care about real, practical, digital access. (Much less non-digital access.)

(And then to top it off, he goes on to criticize the Library of Congress for not being "access oriented.")

I just. 18,000 periodicals. And they've knowing, recklessly lost who knows how many of them. I feel like crying.

18,000 periodicals.

[kociakarma]

Hiii I really love your art and was wondering if you wouldnt mind showing what kind of brushes you use for your recent drawings thank you so much and i look forward to your future arts!

Of course! I've answered this a few times before but have never really tagged it properly, and I also realised that I've never actually explained what I use each brush for so I'll do that now!:

I'm gonna go through each of these brushes in order (and if i remember correctly, I'll link the top two since they arent default CSP brushes). (NOTE: almost all of these brushes have anti-aliasing turned off so that it can look more crispy and pixely!!! there is one exception to this that I will get into)

For this brush, I exclusively use it for sketching, it's advertised for inking digital manga panels, but with how the pen pressure is I feel like it adds form to my sketches

This brush, Sleuth-y Pen, is what I use mostly for MSPFA panels, mostly for lining, but sometimes for sketching too if I'm having a hard time with my usual sketching pen. It's really good if you want to replicate the homestuck style, and good for broad strokes on smaller canvases. The only issue is that the brush isn't great for that style if you use it on a larger canvas (ideally you would want 650 x 450) and can be especially messy if you're trying to get smaller details, such as open mouths, and certain facial details. I use another brush for that, which I will get into soon.

My second use for the sleuthy pen is for lineart on larger canvases in my usual artstyle! It has a texture to it that I like, as I like having my art appear a little rough around the edges, and the issue regarding small details isn't nearly as prominent of a problem

Almost done! Now we have the G-pen, a default CSP brush! This used to be one of my top 2 pens, along with its counterpart "Real G-pen" but nowadays I use it for two things: clean-up during rendering (usually getting those smaller details done that the sleuthy pen has difficulty with) and for doing SOME MSPFA panels (Vast Error, for example)

As you can see here, Liaaam's face is a little smoother than the rest of him, that's because I use the G-pen for those details, to keep things a lot cleaner! As for my other use, Vast Error's style from my understanding is a lot more "smooth" and "clean" which is why I exclusively use the G-pen for it, you can also make a lot of thick, juicy brush strokes with it which I feel works really well for the hair and folds in the clothes!

Finally, the Real G-pen, another default. This one is very similar to the last, its only differences are that it's slightly sharper and ever so slightly more messy. It's almost like a medium between the sleuth-y pen, and the g-pen.

I'll be honest, I don't use this pen much anymore, BUT, I still consistently use it for one thing and one thing only: Friendsim sprites. If you want to make friendsim sprites I highly suggest this pen, and making sure it's set to "weak" antialiasing. If you want to go the extra mile, I like to use a lasso-fill tool to block out shadows in all of my art, although if I'm using a rougher brush I'll usually do that manually. There's also other brushes I've been using more for rendering full pieces, such as a "rake brush" and a "design pencil" with low pressure to get details like blush down without making it too intense. That's basically it! I'll link the brushes below if I can find them: sleuth-y pen textured pen rake brush

[rhaenyrathecruell]

          Angelic

            Aegon ii Targaryen x pregnant wife! Reader  

Word count:1,108 

  Warnings: pregnancy, Aegon is his own warning, and labor, blood and mentioning of death.  

A/n: hey y'all, happy house of the dragon Sunday!  sorry for the long wait for this one shot. If you like this I made a Robb stark one shot too!  Thank you! Enjoy! 

 Screams could be heard through the red keep, servants scrambling grabbing towels. The princess had gone into labor. Aegon is drowning in his cups as usual. He groaned as he clutched his head, what was all this commotion about? He jumps up as his mother the queen slams open the door. 

 The displeasure of being interrupted and his headache did not help his mood to not be sour. “What? Must you be so loud?”  

He looked up at his mother noticing his mother’s scared expression and labored breathing. “Mother?” the prince asked now suddenly sobering up at the sight of his usually calm mother so stressed and disturbed. The queen stared at her son and said in a Shakey voice “y/n has begun her labors.” Aegon jumped up from his bed and quickly rushed out the door with Alicent following him. 

 “Where is she? In her chambers?” Alicent quickly replied “yes, she’s in her chambers with the maester and a couple midwives. She was asking for you.” Aegon may not be the most caring person to his wife but he loved her in his own way. He could feel his heart beating like it did when they got married. 

 The halls feel never-ending as they make their way to the princess’s chamber. When they finally make it to the door, they can hear cries of pain and hushed talking between the midwives and the maester. Aegon burst through the door, the hinges rattling from the force of it. 

“Y/n! My love I'm sorry it took me so long.” he cried out as he rushed to her side. Alicent closed the door and went to converse with the maester. 

“Aegon I'm scared.” y/n said, with tears in her eyes from her physical pain and from her worries. Aegon puts his palm on her cheek and wipes her tears with his thumb. He could see the pain and fear in her eyes.  

He finally finds his voice and says in a shaky voice “i won’t let anything happen to you or our child. I swear this on the old gods and the new.” He cringed internally, he sounded so unsure when he said that. He had to be strong for her, for their child. Y/n rests her head in his palm, exhausted from everything. Aegon looks over at the maester and his mother, they speak in whispers. 

 “What are you whispering about over there? My wife needs assistance maester. You are here for that not for gossiping with the queen.” he says with pure frustration in his voice.  The maester immeditally comes over and checks how much y/n is dilated. He looks slightly worried. Aegon’s heart drops in his stomach. “what? Why do you have that look on your face maester?!”  

The maester sighs, “your grace she is dilated but the babe is breached.”  

Y/n gasps “what oh god.” 

Aegon is confused, “what does breach mean maester?” he asks his heart rate going up by the minute. He squeezes his wife’s hand in silent support. They would figure this out, they had to.  

“During a normal birth the babe is facing head first. In your wife’s case the babe is coming feet first. I must go in and manually turn the babe before she starts pushing.” The maester explains, while ordering the midwives in position.  

Aegon sits there like a fish out of water for a minute before immediately turning to his wife.  As he looks at her face his chest tightens with worry and sympathy for his wife as he sees her scared expression.  

Y/n pulls aegon close to her as she is moved downwards on the birthing bed so the maester can attempt to move the babe. She gets close to aegons ear before saying “if they can’t turn the babe, they will want to cut me open like my mother. Please don’t let them aegon. Please don’t let me die.” she sounds frantic and scared.  

Aegon tightens his hold on her as her words sink in. He pulls her chin up to look at him, before he looks deep into her teary eyes and says “i would never allow them to hurt you, my love.”  

Y/n visibly relaxes at his words, the maester looks at the young couple. 

“are you ready for me to attempt this your grace?” he asks aegon. 

Aegon replies “don’t ask me, ask my wife you idiot.”  

The maester’s eyes widen in apology before looking at y/n, who nods in agreement. The maester’s hands are cold and rough from age. Y/n tenses as the maester attempts to move the babe. She clutches Aegon's hands tightly as he whispers encouragements in her ear.  

The maester’s sudden words break the silence as he exclaims “i feel the babe! I'm going to attempt the rotation now.” the maesters hands leave y/n’s body and he lets out a relived sigh.  

Aegon asks suddenly “is it done? Did you, do it?”  

The maester nods “it is done now all that is left to do is push.” 

Everyone in the room lets out a sigh of relief that the princess and the baby were out of danger for now.  

Alicent finally breaks her silence “thank the mother!” 

Aegon kisses his wife’s head as she begins to push. Y/n’s face is scrunched up in pain as she pushes. Shes sweating and grasping Aegon's hand in a iron grip. Aegon is not fazed, as he gives words of encouragement and tells her she's doing good. 

Y/n stops pushing to catch her breath before she pushes one last time with all her might with a scream.  

Finally, y/n collapses on the bed in exhaustion as the babe comes out with a shrill cry.  

The maester hands the baby over to the young couple, the babe resting in its mothers arms no doubt feeling the love in the room. The maester speaks “a boy your grace.”   

Wides smiles are on Y/n and Aegon's faces as they sit and admire their beautiful son. Aegon breaks his eyes away from his newborn son and looks at his radiant wife. In that moment he swore he would never dishonor her. She was angelic like she was sent from the gods themself. He was never more in love than in this moment.  

Y/n breaks the silence “Aemon, his name is Aemon.”   

[ikeukiss]

3 MEN & A CRIB | 박성훈

⟢ PAIRING: park sunghoon x fem!reader ⟢ WORD COUNT: 1.2K ⟢ GENRE: fluff, comedy ⟢ TAGS: established relationship, soontobedad!sunghoon, married!au, pregnant!reader ⟢ SYNOPSIS: Sunghoon is wasting time not building the furniture in the nursery, mainly the terrifyingly intricate crib his pregnant wife ordered. What else can he do besides call Jake and Jay to help him?

How did he end up in this situation? Sunghoon is staring down the cardboard box in his living room, armed with a handful of tools and an instruction manual that might as well have been written in an alien language.

“I can do it when I get home from the shower,” you told him two hours ago, pouting at the fact the crib still had yet to be constructed. The baby would be arriving in less than three months and there was still so much of the nursery that needed to be completed. The main piece being the place your child was meant to sleep.

Sunghoon shrugged off the idea. No way were you going to try building furniture when you should be focusing solely on relaxing. Your belly was too swollen at this point for Sunghoon to let you even carry in a heavy bag of groceries without assistance. What kind of husband would he be if he let you do manual labor in your condition?

“No, baby,” he said, kissing your forehead with reassurance. “I promise to finish it. Just focus on having fun today and when you get home it’ll all be done, you’ll see.”

With a sigh and a kiss to his lips, you were off with your mother to your baby shower. Heeseung’s wife Yunjin organized the entire day for you, and Sunghoon wouldn’t let something as simple as a piece of infant furniture get in the way of your good time.

But now, staring down the dismantled pieces of the crib, he’s starting to grow anxious at the thought of you coming home to his empty promises and utter disappointment. He reads over the first step of the instructions again, and the words practically bleed over and into each other on the page. Admittedly, Sunghoon was not well-versed in carpentry, but surely it shouldn’t be this hard to understand.

Whatever he has to do to figure it out, he won’t let you down. And he won’t look like an incompetent father because of some measly, complex instructions.

So, he does the next best thing he can: he calls in backup.

Jake and Jay sit next to Sunghoon on the living room floor, looking over the parts of the crib that they’ve agreed go together first and have to be constructed in the proper order. 

After forty-five minutes of assembly, the three men feel an acceptable amount of confidence they completed the crib.

Except for the fact there’s a random piece of wood sticking out in the center of the crib itself.

“I’m telling you the directions said that that was supposed to go there,” Jay insists, skimming the manual.

Sunghoon groans. “Tell me exactly Jay what the fuck that is supposed to do.” He emphasizes his argument by pointing directly at the block of wood in the middle of the crib.

“I don’t know, man, to keep the baby from moving?” Jay retorts.

“Okay, let’s just start over,” Jake says to both men, tired of their bickering already.

Just when the men think they’re getting somewhere, they read the next line of instructions and feel like idiots for putting this piece of wood with that screw.

“This might as well have been written in ancient Egyptian, man. Why did she have to buy the most annoying crib in existence?” Jay grumbles and flips through the manual again.

“She said it comes with a lot of safety features,” Sunghoon answers, taking apart the two pieces of wood that Jake put together initially. Sunghoon wishes he could go back in time and stop you from buying it in the first place. Of course he also wanted the best for your child, but did the damn bed need to come with so many bells and whistles for all of this hassle?

By the time Sunghoon dismantles the pieces and puts them back in an organized pile on the floor, Jake looks ready to give up and raid the fridge.

“We could just find the model online and order it assembled,” Jake suggests. A yawn leaves his lips, already fatigued at the minimal effort he put in.

“And say what to my wife?” Sunghoon asks with a scoff. “That I was too stupid to make it without help?”

Jay and Jake look at Sunghoon without a word, their stares saying enough.

“You know what I mean, assholes.” Sunghoon looks at the instructions over Jay’s shoulder again and grunts. “We are three strong and capable men. We can do this!”

Less than an hour later, Jake is on the manufacturer’s website. Thankfully, the model number was written in bold font on the front of the manual. And even better, crib assembly and one-day delivery is only an extra hundred dollars.

“I’ll name the next kid after you, man.” Sunghoon pats Jake on the back as the older one puts his card information into the order.

“Whatever. Just don’t expect me to not spill the beans if your wife asks me about this.”

Jay chuckles and helps Sunghoon put the pieces of the original crib back in the cardboard packaging.

Three hours later, two delivery guys come up the elevator with the crib to bring into Sunghoon’s apartment. It fits with the rest of the nursery, the color of the wood matching well with the decorations you had already put up for the baby’s arrival.

You walk into the apartment later in the day to find Sunghoon sitting at the couch waiting for you. You smile at him and immediately snuggle in close to his chest.

“How was the shower?” Sunghoon kisses the crown of your head as his hand runs across the center of your stomach. His warmth immediately calms you after the long day of greeting family and friends.

“Fun, but a lot. By the third hour I was over talking about breastfeeding.”

Sunghoon chuckles and kisses your cheek. Even now, after four years of marriage and a baby on the way, he still managed to make you feel like the same lovesick teenager you were when you first met. The feeling sank deep into your bones and made you even more sure that you picked the right person to spend forever with.

“Thank you for putting the crib together,” you say. You squeeze the hand that’s on your stomach with your own. “We appreciate you so much.”

Sunghoon smiles earnestly and kisses you on the lips. “And I appreciate you. None of this would be possible without you, you know.”

You grin. “Likewise.”

When you wake in the middle of the night later on, waddling to the nursery and admiring the quality of the crib, you chuckle quietly to yourself.

Sunghoon was completely unaware of how cute he looked in the Ring camera helping the delivery guys bring in the assembled crib. He also had no idea that you had watched from the comfort of Heeseung’s couch as the gentlemen, with Jake and Jay in tow, all shuffled into the apartment hours ago with the second crib.

Maybe the biggest lesson of parenthood was that sometimes it was better to work smarter and not harder. And regardless, Sunghoon would do anything to make sure you and your child were happy. What more could you ask for?

[falling-star-cygnus]

asked my mom to watch the Sonic movies with me today 😚 -> she has no idea i only want to rewatch for Stobotnik

these two little freaks have had my entire attention lately, i love them so much and i've been subsisting off technically-human's comics [not tagged because i don't want to bother them, but linked to their profile] go follow!

also hc that Stone can read really fucking fast ↑ largely based off the second movie, when he says 'right here in the manual :)'

[When still working for G.U.N, Walters hands Ivo some leatherbound journal that pertains to an assignment he's being sent on] Robotnik, holding it by the corner: Eugh- sadly, you'll find I do not have time to read this... sentimental drivel. Agent Stone. [The doctor drops the thing vaguely behind him, appearing uncaring that Stone barely catches it- in order to keep up his impatient genius image] [Stone mirrors the expression as he flips it open, thumbing through the pages so fast that-] Walters, tilting his head just slightly: ...Agent Stone, I must ask that you take this seriously- Stone, still reading: Of course, Commander. . . . Walters: Is he- Robotnik, trying and failing to not look smug: Actually reading that fast? Why, yes he is! Quite the agent you've assigned me, isn't he? Walters, in disbelief: It took him a week to read through his last assignment.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

one thing about tumblr that I don't see anyone talk about even with all the discussion about horrible changes is what happens when someone blocks you.

how it used to be is that you could still go to their profile, and would be able to report them or block them back. but you couldn't see any of their posts. and if one of their posts did happen to show up on your dash through reblogs, you couldn't like or reblog it. of course, it wouldn't tell you any of this. it would just give an error message or load indefinitely pretending like something was happening, rather than just saying "hey this person has you blocked, so you can't interact with them"

now it's a lot worse. idk when it was, but some change made it so now you can't even click on their blog at all.

now you might say "what's the big deal? why would anyone even want to go to a blog that had you blocked if you already couldn't see any of their posts in the first place?" and while true, there was at least something you could do on that blank blog. blocking them back and reporting them.

here's how it worked in the past. if someone sent me a rude message or tagged me in a dumb post and then blocked me, I could simply go to their blog (which would be blank for me) and block and report them.

now, if somone does that, I cannot click on their blog. in fact, because I can't block or report them, they can keep sending me horrible things, or even do the same to others without any fear of consequences. in order to actually be free of them, I'd have to go onto the desktop dashboard which a lot of people don't use, go to blog settings, scroll all the way down to blocked accounts, and manually type in their url exactly and add them to my list of blocked accounts.

and also, there is no way to report them. if someone is being racist or antisemitic or homophobic, and they have you blocked, you cannot report them at all.

I'm not going to say that this change was made by the sympathizers on staff specifically to protect terfs and white supremacists who spend all their time harassing and stalking and abusing people online while making it harder for their victims to protect themselves or even make those people face any consequences for their actions at all...

but the fact that this change happened around the same time as the whole "scorched earth / partyjockers" situation where staff entirely disintegrated a post and all it's reblogs because op said that one of the people on staff was a hairy potty fan, it's a bit too suspicious for me to call it a coincidental change.

[howlingday]

RWBY Fast Food Confessions

Ruby: I meant to ask a table of customers, "You guys need anything?"

Ruby: But instead, what came out was, "YOOOU GEEEEEESE?"

--------------------------------------------------

Weiss: One time, a customer ordered a plain biscuit, but I couldn't find the button for it...

Weiss: So I panicked and asked them, "Are you sure?"

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: Last week, I was trying to manually enter in an item, but instead of writing "PIES" with a bunch of S's, I made a mistake and wrote "PISSSSSSSSSS".

Blake: And you can see what I'm typing on the customer's side, so everyone can see what I'm doing.

--------------------------------------------------

Yang: One time, I answered the phone, and said, "Thank you for calling Help, how can we Milk you?"

Yang: The guy on the other side said, "Nevermind."

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: A guy at a table I seated asked me, "Will that be all?"

Jaune: But what I heard was, "You're tall." And I laughed and said, "Thanks, I don't get that a lot."

--------------------------------------------------

Nora: One time, I got a cake for a customer and I tried to tell her to freeze it until she needed it.

Nora: But instead I said, "Let's keep you in the freezer, yeah~?"

--------------------------------------------------

Pyrrha: I had to tell the customer where the bathroom was, which was "past the fishtank, on the left".

Pyrrha: Instead, I just stared at them and said, "THE FISH".

--------------------------------------------------

Ren: One time, over the drive-through mic, my co-worker screamed,

Nora: "I'M GONNA SHIT MY PANTS!"

Ren: Unaware that her microphone was on. And the customer drove away.

--------------------------------------------------

Penny: A customer ordered a sandwich, and instead of asking what their name was, I asked them what they wanted to name their sandwich.

Penny: And then I started crying.

--------------------------------------------------

Oscar: One time, I turned my headset on, but instead of greeting the customer, I said,

Ozpin: "NUT TAP".

Oscar: I don't know why.

--------------------------------------------------

Emerald: There was a customer yelling at me over the scroll and they told me to "SHOVE A PIZZA UP YOUR ASS!"

Emerald: And I instinctively said, "Okay..."

--------------------------------------------------

Cinder: One time, I was seating a table and a little boy came up to me and said he had a present for me.

Cinder: He then spit out his chewed gum into my hand.

--------------------------------------------------

Watts: I asked this woman what kind of drink she wanted, and she replied, "I dunno. Purple?!" And then sat there silently.

--------------------------------------------------

Hazel: One time, I needed this woman's ID for a membership.

Hazel: She pulled out a pocket-sized picture of Monty Oum.

--------------------------------------------------

Roman: Someone threw a baby alligator through the window.

Roman: They then ran inside, asking for it back.

--------------------------------------------------

Tyrian: One time, a guy asked me for a cup of yogurt.

Tyrian: I told him I'd be right back with his "YOGA-CUP-URT~!"

--------------------------------------------------

Neo: Asked a customer if she had any allergies, and she said, "Yeah, BITCHES!" I smiled and wrote back, "Me, too". Neo: I then got a panicked reply of "What if I go into anaphylactic shock?!" Neo: Turns out, it wasn't bitches; it was fish.

--------------------------------------------------

Winter: One time, a woman came up to me and said, "Hi."

Winter: I then proceeded to have a coughing fit for a solid 30 seconds before weakly replying "Why...?"

--------------------------------------------------

Qrow: We had a snowstorm the other night, and instead of telling a customer as they were leaving to be careful not to slip, I said,

Qrow: "Have a great night, and please, slip and fall~!"

--------------------------------------------------

Raven: One time, I had a co-worker ask me, "How many pans short are you?" as in how many I needed.

Raven: I replied, "How many pans short AM I? I dunno, 5'10"?!"

--------------------------------------------------

Taiyang: Had a guy ask how big our Supreme Taco was and Ieaned back and said, "Uh... Yeah, it's... Well, it's probably... It's pretty big."

--------------------------------------------------

Mercury: One time, I had a customer change his order four times and I yelled

FUUUUUUUUUU

[hedgiwithapen]

Leverage timetravel, pre pilot/child ot3 meet their redemption era selves

(I took some liberties re: /meeting/) In hindsight, visiting the US Patent office was probably not their smartest move.  Never return to the scene of the crime, and all, at least not if the job was finished. 

But they'd put a pin in going back for the time machine, and not even a really bad idea could deter Hardison from an actual time machine. Well. Portal, like Eliot had said. 

It hadn't come with an instruction manual, but the three of them, Hardison, Parker, Eliot were professionals at figuring things out on the fly . Even lost in the past. Even scattered. 

Hardison knew he just had to wait, though. They'd find each other. They'd lived through the past once, they could deal with it again, especially knowing everything they did. And it wasn't like they had to live through the whole span of years, either. They just had to find each other, put the pieces back together, scattered with them, and go home. Easier said than done--he was starting to think they might have ended up in different times--but still, the Estimated range was fifteen to twenty years, so that was only five max before they met up, right?

Hardison had gotten right to work. Ads in every major newspaper in the heartland cost plenty, but he had years of criminal practice on top of knowing what tech to invest in, so he really wasn't that worried. He guessed Eliot would be betting on sports games, like in Back to the Future. Parker... well, it was hard to guess where she was. Once he and Eliot met up, they'd have to wait for her to get to them. He did have a few things to do, first.

He knocked on Nana's door, feeling like maybe he ought to be wearing a bow tie. 

"What is it? You from the county?" she asked, when she opened the door. He could see behind her a few curious faces, including his own. Damn, he'd been so tiny. 

"Yes, Ma'am," he said brightly. He could remember this day, vaguely. The box he held was more familiar than his adult face. "I'm here to install your new computer."

"I didn't order any computer," Nana said. "Run your scam someplace else."

"It's not a scam!" he heard his own voice say. "I entered a contest at school."

He had. And he'd lost. Stupid Jake Puckett had won, a kid who could have easily afforded a computer. Alec hadn't known that though, until Hardison'd checked idly. And he wasn't about to just let all of history change. Well, all his own history. 

"You got some proof of that?" Nana asked, and Alec went  scampering off to his room to find his copy of the essay.

Satisfied with the expertly forged documents (wow! it was much easier to forge past documents when you were in the time they were from!) Nana let him in and pointed to a corner desk near an outlet. 

"You ever use your own one of these?" Hardison asked Alec, who shook his head. " just the one at school. I really won?"

"Sure did. Now, let me show you what this thing can do."

~

Eliot stood at the edge of the field, a newspaper crumpled in his hand. Hardison was in Boston, if the ad was right, and of course the ad was. No one else put that much effort into a coded message. 

He watched the football fly. In two weeks, the kid throwing it would be on a bus to boot camp. He closed his eyes. There were options.  Kid wouldn't believe him, of course. There were no secrets yet, to spill as proof. And he was too stubborn to buy the warning.  A good solid tackle, though. Break his arm bad enough...

He'd thought about it. And then about the what ifs. The blood would still be spilled, he knew that. Someone else would end up on Moreau's chain. Someone else would end up with a half dug grave for Flores, and maybe keep digging it.  Everything he'd done for money, the money'd go to someone else. Job might not get done, or it might. 

He'd be there for his mother's funeral. He'd miss Katherine Clive's. Rebecca Ibanez.  the way the drinking might have gone... he'd miss Nate Ford's.  He'd go to school, like his dad wanted, never play college ball. Study something-- art history, maybe -- but no, that was him now. Not him then. Him then would be angry and broken. Him then wouldn't have... his people.

He crumped the paper further. "Dammit, Hardison," he said quietly, and walked away. 

~

Parker had a code. Some things, you just didn't do. Some were big and flashy and obvious. Some were smaller, quieter. 

Hardison would say she shouldn't do this, she knew, and she usually listened to Hardison. He knew what he was talking about, most of the time. You can't change the past. That'd been part of the lecture before they'd gone to steal the time machine.  You can do things, sure, but you always did them. 

Well, Parker hadn't done this. No one had, back the first time she'd lived through this day. But she was doing it anyways, breaking his rule and her own. You don't steal from kids who don't have anything. 

Carefully, she picked the lock on the child's bicycle chain. 

[drwcn]

After many months of not posting anything and not writing anything, I recently made a rant post about how I hate Grey's Anatomy and other medical dramas. I think I called them monstrosities that disrespected my profession lol. Alto I do hold a special place in my heart for House MD because I'm an asshole like that.

But because fuzzballsheltiepants said "Try The Pit! By far the closest thing I’ve seen to reality in a medical show ever plus incredible acting", I've decided to make this post.

I've never heard of The Pit, but my friend has Crave, so I tried watching it in order to see what the big deal is. My friend told me that she saw lots of good reviews on twitter.

The Pit is meant to represent American hospitals. I am Canadian. I work in a Canadian hospital. Obviously things are not gonna be 100% the same where I'm from. Keep that in mind.

I lasted about 15 mins. Based on 15 minutes, here's my snap shot impression of "The Pit". Also.... this is a rant, not an essay. It is WORD vomit, don't judge me for composition. I'm not submitting this for publication.

It's much more realistic. The waiting rooms really are that busy. The big screen with the colour coordinated patient assignment is really something we use. The ED docs do dress like that. These days, no white coats (or rarely any white coats). If you noticed, one of the senior residents was wearing a red Patagonia sweater. That's very on brand. The introduction of new residents coming in, new medical students coming in, that's all very realistic. The one random psych patient running butt ass naked through the ED, yeah... yeah I've seen that shit. The fact that the charge nurse is everyone's boss. Lol. Yeah that part is true too. So in short, the set up of this tv show is very much more realistic than other shows.

But that's also kind of where things are starting to go south. Because the setup is so real, the unrealistic parts of the show become that much more jarring.

One, yeah trauma bays ARE chaotic. But there's an algorithm to the chaos, an approach. There is at least AN ATTEMPT at clear communications between different members of the team. None of that was happening in the show. First of all... who was Trauma Team Leader? You don't know. Who's on airway? You don't know. That new resident was put on eFAST duty on her first day. She's a PGY2... does she... know how to do a eFAST? Nobody bothered to ask. Pretty sure that fresh green medical student intubated a trauma patient on her first shift. Lol. Not just intubated a trauma, intubated a trauma with manual in-line immobilization of the neck, who had a LMA in place meaning it might have been a difficult intubation in the field (hence the LMA instead). LOL. That is the biggest fucking LOL. That medical student (those medical students) would've been No Where Near the trauma bay in rea life. The medical students would've been sent to talk to the coughs, and rashs, and abdominal pain, and diarrheas, and asthmas attacks sitting out there in the waiting room. Trauma Bays are high stress, high intensity environments. It is chaos, but it is organized chaos. What I saw...was just chaos and rude people. Also... 140mg of ketamine and 80 of rocuronium on a bleeding trauma patient who is less than GCS 7?? lol bruh... You're not trying to put down a horse. Try flipping those numbers: 70 of ketamine and 100 of rocuronium. Even 70 is too much.

I lasted about 15 mins. Right up until they intubated the first patient and said "the cords are anterior"....and then had the senior resident say, "keep the hockey stick up" (which by the way is referring to the shape of the endotracheal tube being bent into a specific hockey stick shape by a stylet AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE VIEW of the vocal cords). They showed me a Grade 2B? Grade 3? view for 2 seconds, and somehow that Grade 3 view magically transformed into a Grade 1 view on the glidescope screen after a minute. How?? Because the medical student held the hockey stick up??? If you were gonna make the senior resident give advice and guidance, you could've said, "lift up more, pull back a bit, I'll give a bit of BURP". See the problem is... the equipment they've shown in this episode are all things I actually use. They could be actual doctors I work with... except they're all really bad at their jobs and I would hate them LOL. Sorry not sorry.

And I don't know how trauma bays are run in other trauma centers, but... ED residents and attendings do NOT run the trauma bay where I work. There is a Trauma Team Leader (which could be an ED attending, or a surgical attending aka trauma surgeon, or an anesthesia attending), and there IS A TEAM. Medicine a MULTI DISCIPLINARY JOB. In my center, the trauma team gets paged/called to the trauma bay in ADVANCE to the patient's arrival. We already know from dispatch roughly what to expect. We're all gowned up and gloved up and ready. We are thinking about our plan in our heads, maybe we’ve talked it out. And in our trauma bay, the TTL (trauma team leader) stands at the Foot of the bed so they can see everything, and the anesthetist stands at the Head of the bed directly facing the TTL, but more important that is where the airway is. You don’t put a fucking 3rd year medical student at the airway on her first shift. What. The. Actual. Fuck. On either side are orthopedic residents and general surgery residents ready to do their assessments. eFAST falls under GenSx's responsibility. There are nurses there ready to put in IVs. There are RTs there ready to assist with airway. There is a Xray tech with the portable xray machine ready to go. There are nurses standing to the side ready to chart everything that happens. But in the Pit...all we see are emergency room doctors doing everything.

And I see them doing a bad job. That brings me to my third point.

It's a show that's meant to glorify the Emergency Department and ED doctors. I said it, and I'm not sorry. Now I'm not saying ED docs aren't great doctors and deserve all of our respect. In fact, I have no issue with a show that pays tribute to one specific type of doctors. But The Pit has made the same mistake as every other medical drama. It gave ED doctors the...Hermione Granger treatment. That is, it plucked the good qualities and skills of OTHER specialties and gave them to ED doctors. There was not a single other type of doctor in the trauma bay. (I was also told by other friends of some of the crap this show pulled later in the season, and my specialty was snubbed unjustly, but I won't talk about it because it's gonna give away too much info about me). TV has not been able to produce a show where they can prop up one specialty without putting down another specialty.

The Pit made the same mistake as Grey's Anatomy...but in the opposite direction. Grey's Anatomy portrayed all these different surgical specialties constantly interact with each other, who would never cross paths in real life on a normal day. And The Pit decided that having only emergency room doctors run the trauma bay was a good idea. Unlike surgical specialties, the Emergency Room is like... THE PLACE in the hospital where you might be able to cross paths with a friend from another specialty, because just about everybody gets called down to the ED to do consults. Ortho and Gen Sx - every broken bone and appendicitis - they're there. Your dumb brother hits you with a beer bottle while you're both pissing drunk and cuts your face in a delicate spot - oof someone page Plastics. The SMR (senior medical resident on call for General Internal Medicine) is basically shackled to the back room in every emergency department, the Big Sister/Brother to her throng of baby ducks (juniors medical residents and med students). Together, they take in endless consults 24/7. Neurology is there for all the strokes. Cardiology is there for all the heart attacks. Occasionally anesthesia will come down because there's a difficult airway ED isn't comfortable dealing with, and they have to secure it. Neurosurgery is there more often than you think; lots of people bleeding in their heads from aneurysms and accidents. If you hurt your teeth, ED WILL PAGE DENTISTRY. Yeah. Dentists work in the hospital too. They're special dentists called oromaxillofacial surgeons. (I've never seen a dermatologist though... not sure what the hell they are. They're basically fairies.) If your first episode of your medical drama set in the Emergency Department isn’t as confusing as the first episode of Game of Thrones, where they throw hmmmm 20 new characters at you all at once, then you’re doing it wrong.

Nurses speaking Tagalog, damn, that’s too real.

[aringofsalt]

diy ao3 wrapped: how to get your data!

so i figured out how to do this last year, and spotify wrapped season got me thinking about it again. a couple people in discord asked how to do it so i figured i'd write up a little guide! i'm not quite done with mine for this year yet because i wanted to do some graphics, but this is the post i made last year, for reference!

this got long! i tried to go into as much detail as possible to make it as easy as possible, but i am a web developer, so if there's anything i didn't explain enough (or if you have any other questions) don't hesitate to send me an ask!!

references

i used two reddit posts as references for this:

basic instructions (explains the browser extension; code gets title, word count, and author)

expanded instructions (code gets title, word count, and author, as well as category, date posted, last visited, warnings, rating, fandom, relationship, summary, and completion status, and includes instructions for how to include tags and switch fandoms/relationships to multiple—i will include notes on that later)

both use the extension webscraper.io which is available for both firefox and chrome (and maybe others, but i only use firefox/chrome personally so i didn't check any others, sorry. firefox is better anyway)

scraping your basic/expanded data

first, install the webscraper plugin/extension.

once it's installed, press ctrl+shift+i on pc or cmd+option+i on mac to open your browser's dev tools and navigate to the Web Scraper tab

from there, click "Create New Site Map" > "Import Sitemap"

it will open a screen with a field to input json code and a field for name—you don't need to manually input the name, it will fill in automatically based on the json you paste in. if you want to change it after, changing one will change the other.

i've put the codes i used on pastebin here: basic // expanded

once you've pasted in your code, you will want to update the USERNAME (highlighted in yellow) to your ao3 username, and the LASTPAGE (highlighted in pink) to the last page you want to scrape. to find this, go to your history page on ao3, and click back until you find your first fic of 2024! make sure you go by the "last visited" date instead of the post date.

if you do want to change the id, you can update the value (highlighted in blue) and it will automatically update the sitemap name field, or vice versa. everything else can be left as is.

once you're done, click import, and it'll show you the sitemap. on the top bar, click the middle tab, "Sitemap [id of sitemap]" and choose Scrape. you'll see a couple of options—the defaults worked fine for me, but you can mess with them if you need to. as far as i understand it, it just sets how much time it takes to scrape each page so ao3 doesn't think it's getting attacked by a bot. now click "start scraping"!

once you've done that, it will pop up with a new window which will load your history. let it do its thing. it will start on the last page and work its way back to the first, so depending on how many pages you have, it could take a while. i have 134 pages and it took about 10-12 minutes to get through them all.

once the scrape is done, the new window will close and you should be back at your dev tools window. you can click on the "Sitemap [id of sitemap]" tab again and choose Export data.

i downloaded the data as .xlsx and uploaded to my google drive. and now you can close your dev tools window!

from here on out my instructions are for google sheets; i'm sure most of the queries and calculations will be similar in other programs, but i don't really know excel or numbers, sorry!

setting up your spreadsheet

once it's opened, the first thing i do is sort the "viewed" column A -> Z and get rid of the rows for any deleted works. they don't have any data so no need to keep them. next, i select the columns for "web-scraper-order" and "web-scraper-start-url" (highlighted in pink) and delete them; they're just default data added by the scraper and we don't need them, so it tidies it up a little.

this should leave you with category, posted, viewed, warning, rating, fandom, relationship, title, author, wordcount, and completion status if you used the expanded code. if there are any of these you don't want, you can go ahead and delete those columns also!

next, i add blank columns to the right of the data i want to focus on. this just makes it easier to do my counts later. in my case these will be rating, fandom, relationship, author, and completion status.

one additional thing you should do, is checking the "viewed" column. you'll notice that it looks like this:

you can't really sort by this since it's text, not formatted as a date, so it'll go alphabetically by month rather than sorting by date. but, you'll want to be able to get rid of any entries that were viewed in 2023 (there could be none, but likely there are some because the scraper got everything on your last page even if it was viewed in 2023). what i did here was use the "find" dialog to search the "viewed" column for 2023, and deleted those rows manually.

ctrl/cmd+f, click the 3 dots for "more options". you want to choose "Specific range", then "C2:C#". replace C with the letter of your viewed column (remember i deleted a bunch, so yours may be different) and replace # with the number of the last row of your spreadsheet. then find 2023, select the rows containing it, right click > delete rows.

it isn't super necessary to do this, it will only add at most 19 fics to your count, but the option is there!

alright, with all that done, your sheet should look something like this:

exposing myself for having read stardew valley fic i guess

now for the fun part!!!

the math

yes, the math is the fun part.

scroll all the way down to the bottom of your sheet. i usually add 100 blank rows at the bottom just so i have some space to play with.

most of these will basically be the same query, just updating for the relevant column. i've put it in a pastebin here, but here's a screenshot so i can walk you through it:

you'll want to use lines 3-10, select the cell you want to put your data into, and paste the query into the formula bar (highlighted in green)

so, we're starting with rating, which is column E for me. if yours is a different letter you'll need to replace all the E's with the relevant letter.

what this does is it goes through the entire column, starting with row 2 (highlighted in yellow) and ending with your final row (highlighted in blue, you'll want to change this number to reflect how many rows you have). note that row 2 is your first actual data row, because of the header row.

it checks each row that has a value (line 5), groups by unique value (row 6), and arranges in descending order (row 7) by how many there are of each value (row 8). finally, row 10 determines how many rows of results you'll have; for rating, i put 5 because that's how many ratings there are, but you can increase the number of results (highlighted in pink) for other columns depending on how many you want. this is why i added the 100 extra rows!

next to make the actual number visible, go to the cell one column over. this is why we added the empty columns! next to your first result, add the second query from the pastebin:

your first and second cell numbers (highlighted in yellow and blue) should match the numbers from your query above, and the third number (highlighted in pink) should be the number of the cell with your first value. what this does is go through your column and count how many times the value occurs.

repeat this for the rest of the rows and you should end up with something like this! don't judge me and my reading habits please

now you can go ahead and repeat for the rest of your columns! as i mentioned above, you can increase the amount of result rows you get; i set it to 25 for fandom, relationship, and author, just because i was curious, and only two for completion status because it's either complete or not complete.

you should end up with something like this!

you may end up with some multiples (not sure why this happens, tagging issues maybe?) and up to you if you want to manually fix them! i just ended up doing a find and replace for the two that i didn't want and replaced with the correct tag.

now for the total wordcount! this one is pretty simple, it just adds together your entire column. first i selected the column (N for me) and went to Format > Number > 0 so it stripped commas etc. then at the bottom of the column, add the third query from the pastebin. as usual, your first number is the first data row, and the second is the last data row.

and just because i was curious, i wanted the average wordcount also, so in another cell i did this (fourth query from the pastebin), where the first number is the cell where your total is, and the second number is the total number of fics (total # of data rows minus 1 for the header row).

which gives me this:

tadaaaa!

getting multiple values

so, as i mentioned above, by default the scraper will only get the first value for relationships and fandoms. "but sarah," you may say, "what if i want an accurate breakdown of ALL the fandoms and relationships if there's multiples?"

here's the problem with that: if you want to be able to query and count them properly, each fandom or relationship needs to be its own row, which would skew all the other data. for me personally, it didn't bother me too much; i don't read a lot of crossovers, and typically if i'm reading a fic it's for the primary pairing, so i think the counts (for me) are pretty accurate. if you want to get multiples, i would suggest doing a secondary scrape to get those values separately.

if you want to edit the scrape to get multiples, navigate to one of your history pages (preferably one that has at least one work with multiple fandoms and/or relationships so you can preview) then hit ctrl+shift+i/cmd+option+i, open web scraper, and open your sitemap. expand the row and you should see all your values. find the one you want to edit and hit the "edit" button (highlighted in pink)

on the next screen, you should be good to just check the "Multiple" checkbox (highlighted in pink):

you can then hit "data preview" (highlighted in blue) to get a preview which should show you all the relationships on the page (which is why i said to find a page that has the multiples you are looking for, so you can confirm).

voila! now you can go back to the sitemap and scrape as before.

getting tag data

now, on the vein of multiples, i also wanted to get my most-read tags.

as i mentioned above, if you want to get ALL the tags, it'll skew the regular count data, so i did the tags in a completely separate query, which only grabs the viewed date and the tags. that code is here. you just want to repeat the scraping steps using that as a sitemap. save and open that spreadsheet.

the first thing you'll notice is that this one is a LOT bigger. for context i had 2649 fics in the first spreadsheet; the tags spreadsheet had 31,874 rows.

you can go ahead and repeat a couple of the same steps from before: remove the extra scraper data columns, and then we included the "viewed" column for the same reason as before, to remove any entries from 2023.

then you're just using the same basic query again!

replace the E with whatever your column letter is, and then change your limit to however many tags you want to see. i changed the limit to 50, again just for curiosity.

if you made it this far, congratulations! now that you have all that info, you can do whatever you want with it!

and again, if you have any questions please reach out!

[dark-elf-writes]

“Shen Jiu. Shen jiu! Jiu-gege stop ignoring me!”

No matter how much time Shen Jiu spent with Wei Wuxian, he was never fully prepared for his incessant teasing and constant demands for attention. Part of him regretted ever giving a reaction the first time Wei Wuxian had called him gege — if a slight widening of his eyes and a lift of his brow truly counted as a reaction — but a larger part of him, the dark part of him that wanted to keep Wei Wuxian whining for his attention, thrilled every time he heard the name from those pouting lips. With how little he actually knew about Wei Wuxian, he wasn’t even entirely certain that he was the older of the two of them, but the other man seemed to find it so amusing that Shen Jiu supposed it didn’t truly matter either way.

Currently, Wei Wuxian was sprawled over the table of the room the two of them had booked (only ever one, and each one made into a veritable fortress that no one but the two do them could hope to enter with the talismans Wei Wuxian painstakingly placed in every corner and over each entrance. A haven safe enough for even Shen Jiu to fall asleep, pressed under the sprawl of Wei Wuxian’s limbs and the spicy scent of the tiger omega filling his senses) with his outer one hanging off of one shoulder and those laughing silver eyes looking up at him through criminally long lashes.

Beautiful.

And oblivious to the effect he had on everyone around him.

It was fortunate Shen Jiu had taken to the sword so easily, if only to protect Wei Wuxian from himself.

“Surely you can wait for me to finish the cultivation guide you assigned me to read, A-Xian.” The diminutive tumbled from his lips before he could stop it, easy and teasing in a way he would not have allowed with anyone else.

Something flashed in those silver eyes. Something dark and aching and full of a pain so all consuming Shen Jiu thought it would have shattered a lesser man entirely. Would have thought it would Shatter Wei Wuxian’s if he had not seen that same pain brushed away countless times since they had met.

But, sure enough, Wei Wuxian fluttered those lashes at him with another sweet pout, and the pain in those eyes was gone. “A-Ying.”

“Hm?”

Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes, then all of him so his back was against the table and his arms stretched above him, blocking the manual Shen Jiu had been reading. Shen Jiu recited the last paragraph in his head to beat back the flash of heat the sight inspired deep in his gut.

“I call you by your given name, Jiu-gege. It’s only fair that you call your A-Ying by his.”

This minx would be the death of him. Would drive him mad with glittering silver eyes full of mischief and a plush mouth pulled into a teasing pout.

Shen Jiu would allow him to.

“My A-Ying should learn to be patient,” He said, savoring the words on his tongue nearly as much as the sight of pink staining Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. Ever the one to jump on a weakness, Shen Jiu let his arms rest on either side of Wei Wuxian’s head, leaning down until he could feel the warmth of Wei Wuxian’s rapid breaths on his face. “Your Jiu-gege will play with you later, A-Ying.”

He pulled back at the odd choking sound Wei Wuxian made, letting the little terror scramble away with a weak excuse about ordering food for them both, and allowed a smug smile to pay at the corners of his mouth.

A-Ying might be the death of him, but at least the two for them would be going down together.

[tectosilicates]

the warriors first two years behind the wall must have been so difficult for them.

here are three spies in enemy territory, and they are all children. i wonder if they knew how vulnerable they were before then, now that they must pose as orphaned, regular children (they’ve been handling guns since age six). and regular children can’t use weapons. they can’t turn into titans (hell as far as paradisians know, no human can). and they certainly can’t decide what they can do or where they can go. they have no connections here, there are no grownups they know who can help them out.

they are stranded here with the devils, and the devils would fear them (just like the marleyans do) if they knew what they were. the weight of the world is on their shoulders, and they’re completely aimless. how can they sneak into the innermost wall when theyre just kids? doing what they can not to starve is already a task in itself. and even when they do everything they can to get food the legal way (through manual labour, the way the maria orphans do, as anything less would attract attention they can’t afford) there still isn’t enough.

and here’s where the horrible, awful headcanon comes in: when you are hungry enough and your limbs can grow back, does your body become a source of food? do you think reiner ever ordered annie to chop his legs off so they could eat meat for once? they’re starving and he knows her resentment towards him will keep growing if not offered a means of release (two birds one stone). they always wait for the cover of nightfall, and reiner’s healing is always fast enough that his legs grow back overnight. they’re always careful to be quiet about it. bertholdt acts as lookout, yet once the deed is done he always seems to be the one who’s cried the most. do you think they were ever caught with the meat? do you think adults assumed they stole? do you think older kids fought them for it? do you think they ever had to bite their tongues, stomach grumbling furiously, watching others unknowingly consume their human flesh?