#i just... *clenches fist* i wanna see him emotionally crumble

[dylanconrique]

i can’t wait for the angst that’s gonna hit when tim hears a call over his radio that there’s an officer down, immediately ditching his post behind that desk when they give out lucy’s name and badge number to find grey to give him keys to one of the shops so he can get to the scene as fast as possible.

[buckysswinter]

tolerate it- seven

18+ minors dni

warnings: angst, more angst???

not edited or beta’d- do not repost or translate!

(au)brother'sbestfriend!bucky barnes x female reader

word count: 1,123

<<previous part | next part>>

gain the weight of you, then lose it

she promised wanda that she would call her if he ever hurt her again. yet something was stopping y/n to dial wanda's number, she wanted to save bucky from wanda's wrath.

as soon as she got home y/n set her vinyl player up, playing some taylor swift, it had always calmed her down.

i wait by the door like i'm just a kid use my best colors for your portrait lay the table with the fancy shit

as the lyrics reverberated through the walls of her room, it somehow seeped deep in her brain that her situation with bucky was similar. she was always waiting on him like a puppy, constantly changing herself to fit his idea of her. the trying of making bucky like her more than his best friend's sister was tiring to y/n, more emotionally and mentally. the damage bucky did to her was grave, whether he meant it or not. and him fucking dot against his window for everyone including her to see was the last straw for y/n.

the tears were once again running down her face. her and bucky were supposed to be back again. mended. like nothing happened. although y/n thought this wasn't the best way to cope with bucky's words, they were still at least friends. she knows this wasn't the way to do this, the way to deal with the hurt and the situation. she needed to stop protecting bucky, he was man, he could take care of himself. she needed to stop hoping he would see her more than what she is to him.

the slamming of the door interrupted her thoughts, noah's voice along with bucky's alerted y/n. she didn't expect to see him so soon. noah's voice was muffled but bucky's laugh was loud and clear. her heart thumped at this.

you need to do this y/n. it isn't healthy to keep going. you need to break the cycle.

all of the butterflies she felt for bucky turned into hurt- she wouldn't call it trauma but no man, not even her father had hurt her so much.

y/n walked up to her vinyl player, turning up the volume of the song, she didn't want to get interrupted but as may fate have it someone was knocking on her door.

-"hey doll,-" his voice immediately brought an acidic feeling coursing from her stomach to her mouth. his gentle voice, the one she used to love hearing, made her wanna throw up.

how dare he act like everything was fine? that he had ended his relationship with dot when he clearly hasn't?

y/n couldn't believe the audacity he held as he stood in front of her with an endearing smile, greeting her as if she was a dumb little girl.

maybe she was, but it had too far. bucky had used all of his luck strikes- her heart could no longer make up excuses to her brain, she was hurting too much.

-"hey." her response was short, unusual and bucky noticed.

-"uh everything ok doll?" the look in his eyes looked genuine enough to fool her if she were still the pathetic little fool- she wasn't that anymore. the nickname she loved so dearly making her sick, fists clenched to her side she took a deep breathe,

-" 'm fine." she tried to offer a fake smile, though bucky would know- would he? he never paid that much attention to her, not that she's noticed. he's too busy breaking her apart again and again behind her back.

-"y'know you could always tell me anything right?" if bucky accepted her simple response instead of prying then tears wouldn't be streaming down her face. this concerned bucky, taking a stride to comfort her, hug her- this made her move away, the comfort he once brought her now haunts her.

-"y/n? what's wrong doll?" bucky's eyebrows furrowed, she never rejected his touch.

she was trying not hard to break, trying so hard not to let the facade crumble but the more he pried the more she was inclined to tell him the heartbreaking truth- that he never cared about her as much as she cared about him.

-"please don't call me that james." another red flag for bucky, she never called him james- she complained it was an old man name, no nine year old should be named james, she concluded once- this made bucky laugh, one of the first laughs he's shared with her.

-"y/n please tell me what's wrong?" the confusion in bucky's voice was evident.

-"i think you should leave," her nails were digging in her palms at this point, she didn't want to confront him- not after they had just mended their relationship.

-"no, i think we should talk about it? did something happen? someone hurt you?" the last question made her laugh- a pathetic choked laugh came out of her.

-"did someone hurt me? yeah. although he wasn't just someone to me- he was everything. but then i realized that i meant absolutely nothing to him." bucky's nose flared, cheeks turning red.

-"who is it y/n?" she was mad that he was still oblivious to the situation.

-"well he's standing in front of me." wil that she released a deep breath to calm her down, her fists unclenched, posture relaxed as bucky's jaw drops.

-"doll? yn? what do you mean? i do care about you" his voice faltered.

-"stop bucky, please just stop pretending you care when all you do is hurt me again and again." y/n's voice cracked

bucky took a step towards her and y/n backed away, shaking her head.

-"y/n please-"

-"enough bucky, i've had enough please. just leave." she didn't let bucky finish, his voice just drowned her.

-"please leave james, leave me alone. i need a break from you" her tears were fully falling now, a sob came out of her. bucky has a tear rolling down his cheek,

-"please tell me why, at least tell me why. you owe me that."

-"james, you think i owe you an explanation as to why i need a break? you go on tell your little play thing i'm just your friend's lonely sister, then i go to your house and i see you fucking her after you've told me you were done with her." she let the anger take over.

-"y/n i can explain-" bucky tried touching her but she slapped his hand away, pointing to her door in the process. bucky got the message and left, with his head hanging low.

y/n slammed the door and collapsed, clamping her hands in her mouth to minimize the sound of her echoing sobs.

taglist: @capmanranger @turbolisedcomet @kaitioo @red42985 @sipsteacasually @justyourlocalwhore @minetticatinwonderland @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @one-shot-plus-size @thatsbucknasty @simplefan-638 @lightning-fast54 @themorningsunshine @hotleaf-juice @adriii-omega

[hells-angel]

Love the way you Lie

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Michael x Reader

Word count: 1606

Warning/s: a little bit angst

Summary: a love story between the reader and Michael based on the song ‘I Love the way you lie’ by nightcore. (originally by Eminem)

On the first page of our story

The future seemed so bright

you flutter your eyes open, feeling the warmth coming from the arms wrap around you.

“Good morning” you groggily mumbled, already smiling at the sight of the archangel watching you with so much love on his eyes.

“Good morning my angel” he whispered back, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, earning a giggle from you. A sound he thought sounds better than the harps in heaven.

“what would you like to do today?” 

“hmm can’t we just stay in bed today?” you asked slightly looking up to meet his eyes.

“that sounds like a plan”

 Then this thing turned out so evil

I don't know why I'm still surprised

Even angels have their wicked schemes

And you take that to new extremes

 Michael was lost on thought as he continues to stare at you talk about a hunt with the Winchesters. Guilt was eating him up, everything was just supposed to be an act, a play he needed to do in order to get closer to the Winchesters and make Dean say yes.

He was supposed to be the one in control yet here he was having a ranging war between his feelings and his duties. His time with you was something he never knew he can attain, he felt free, no obligation to fulfill, no angels to order, no father to please. You made him feel certain feelings he never knew was possible.

And for the first time on his long life, he was scared.

“I love you”

He shouldn’t reply back, he shouldn’t say those words back, he knew it would only hurt you on the end but the look on your eyes looking up at him with so much love and admiration crumbles his will. And before he knew it he was saying back those words.

 “I love you too”  

 But you'll always be my hero

Even though you've lost your mind

 “Michael will never do that!” you shouted, your voice wavering from hearing the truth.

“well he did sweetheart, he had you at the palm of his hands” Zachariah said while he held you hostage along with the younger Winchester, Adam.

“I don’t believe you! Michael promised me he won’t fight his brother anymore!” you demanded, there’s no way Michael would lie at you, there’s just no way.

“Think what you want, the truth remains the same”

 Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

Well that's all right because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie I love the way you lie

 Michael kept his stoic face as he stares at your eyes full of hurt and betrayal, he knew it’s gonna hurt but he didn’t think it will be this painful. He stands besides Zachariah, watching you as you desperately hold onto Adam despite being in pain.

“Adam no!” you shouted, you knew if Adam says yes, the apocalypse would happen and it’s the least thing you wanted right now.

“you have to run, I’ll stall them as much as possible” you whispered to Adam, his eyes filled with fear.

“what about you?” he asked

“My life is nothing compared to millions that’s gonna die if the apocalypse come” you said, if only you knew how Michael badly wanted to correct you. Your life was worth millions more than those humans, yet he didn’t do anything.

Zachariah who was watching the two of you decided enough is enough, so with little movements from his fingers an unbearable pain erupt on your body as blood come out of your mouth.

“come on, she’s going to die if you wait” Zachariah taunt while Adam was painfully looking at your form that was covered on your own blood.

“I’m okay, It’s gonna be okay” you whispered to Adam, yet tears fall on your eyes as you took his hands on your but Zachariah sent you flying on the wall, an invisible force crushing you.

Michael who watch everything clench his fist so tight that it turned white, it took all of his will to not ran back in your arms and protect you, seeing you in pain was crushing his heart but in the end his duty wins over his emotion.

Now there's gravel in our voices

Glasses shattered from the fight

In this tug of war you always win

Even when I'm right

 Everything was blurry, there was pain all over your body, your head ringing before a bright light filled the room, when you opened your eyes, Michael’s old vessel was no longer in the room.

You always said you’ll recognize Michael whatever vessel he decided to possess and it seems to be right as you stare at Adam, but all you see was the confident Michael you come to love.

“Adam” you sadly mumbled. Michael stood confidently and upon hearing your voice he flickered his eyes over you a moment of concern passes through his eyes before it disappeared. With a flick of his fingers the invisible force that was crushing you disappear as you slid down the wall, broken and in pain, physically and emotionally.

But just like they say a broken heart hurts more than a broken bone.

“Michael” you weakly say in recognition as Michael stood over you, scanning over your battered body, how he desperately wanted to wipe away your tears. Just a few days ago if he saw you like this he would totally flip out yet right now his trying to convince himself that whatever it is he felt was just a lie nothing more.

 Cause you feed me fables from your head

With violent words and empty threats

And it's sick that all these battles

Are what keeps me satisfied

 He turned around to leave, as much as he wanted to stay he had a destiny to fulfill, he must fight his brother at all cause, those were his orders. 

“come back here, Look me in the eyes and tell me it’s all a lie” you weakly mumbled but was enough for him to hear and that’s all it took for him to stop on his tracks, his back still facing you.

“of course it’s all a lie” Zachariah answered instead but you didn’t pay him no mind.

“Michael "you softly called, you knew him way too much, he was an archangel, he was confident so you knew what that hesitation meant. Michael remained on his spot, he was too afraid to turn around and meet your eyes because he knew if he did, he’ll surely succumb to his emotions.

“I don’t have time for this” he mumbled followed by a flutter of wings before he and Zachariah disappeared.

 Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

Well that's all right because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie I love the way you lie

 “I’m sorry Dean, this is all my fault” you apologize as you rode on the passenger’s seat of the Impala while Dean drove to the cemetery where Lucifer who was possessing Sam and Michael who was possessing Adam was gonna fight.

“If I listened to you then maybe..” you start staring at your bloodied hands, you didn’t even have time to clean up your wounds.

“Hey listen to me, this is not your fault”  Dean forcefully said “ It’s those winged freaks faults for dragging us on their family issues” Dean added as he steps on the pedal.

Before you knew it you and Dean arrive on the cemetery, Lucifer and Michael were there both staring but one particular pair of eyes were staring back with yours.

“stay here” Dean ordered before he steps out of the car and talk, you didn’t know what they were talking about but all your senses woke up as Castiel appears, throwing a Molotov made from holy fire to Michael. And as he burned yelling in pain his eyes met yours momentarily.

 So maybe I'm a masochist

I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave

Till the walls are going up

In smoke with all our memories

 All it took was a moment, in a blink of an eye Castiel was dead, Bobby was dead, Lucifer was beating up Dean and the next thing you know a giant hole appeared on the ground as Sam was prepared to be locked away on the cage with Lucifer.

But before he can jump, Lucifer regained control and stop Sam from jumping. You knew it’s a bad idea but your body moved on your own as you ran will all your might to tackled down Lucifer, and as you were falling down you can hear Dean calling out your name.

You knew that was the end, you’re gonna die but as if time slowed down, someone grab your hands and pulled you back on the cause of his own peril, opening your eyes you saw Michael falling on the pit instead of you, mouthing of words that you quickly understood.

“your worth more than a million”

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

Well that's all right because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

@pastelxskull​

[miracvlovs]

✗✗✗   you see [ kaleb yıldırım ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis male ] is up to no good. [ he / him ] has been here for [ five years ] now but they’re still pretty [ abrasive ] which is fine because they’re also [ debonair ] so it balances out. the [ twenty-eight ] year old [ hitman for hire ] actually looks like a lot like [ alperen duymaz ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ strong cigarettes & even stronger whiskey ].

hey, hello, hi, bonjour! s’up buttercups? ‘tis i, your friendly neighbourhood loser chrissie ( a.k.a an irish doofus who is utter plot trash and the actual WORST at keeping track with discord messages, oops ) and i’m super duper excited to be here among you fab human beings! anywho, this is my first kiddo kaleb and he is … how do you say … morally grey. basically his morals are very questionable in every aspect. but! on the plus side, he’s very talented and good at his job even if he is ruthless and callous, oop. he is … the worst and also lowkey messed up inside tbh so pls excuse his blunt and sarcastic nature. plot-wise i’m open to literally anything and everything so come at me with any ideas ya got! i’m always diggity down to spit ball ideas and form some dope connections so pls feel free to invade my ims or hmu on le cord ( chrissie.#9606 ) and we can brainstorm until our heart’s content! if ya wanna, go ahead and light that lil grey heart up red and i’ll shimmy my butt your way for all of the good stuff. anywho, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?

fundamentals.

KALEB EMER YILDIRIM     —     twenty-eight, hitman for hire,   +   one snarky son of a gun   /   troubled dude with daddy issues   /   all issues tbh ! 

aesthetics   ➤   dried blood caked into the grooves of cut knuckles, the lingering scent of smoke and gasoline, silver slivers of past scarring, five o’clock shadow peppering a blunt jawline, discolourations of blue and purple decorating battered hands, a subtle smirk etched upon a devious countenance, calloused fingertips riddled with small paper cuts, dark circles under almost-black eyes, the noise of screeching tires in the middle of the night, a tall stature adorned in all-black attire, ghosts of bruises staining calloused skin green, a scuffed zippo lighter in a pack of marlboros containing only one cigarette, white shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a sly grin under stormy dark eyes, a sniper on the roof of a deserted building, the roar of a car engine, & clenched, white-knuckled fists.

nicknames. kal.

date of birth. november third.

gender. cis male.

pronouns. he + him.

birthplace. manhattan, nyc.

orientation. bisexual + aromantic.

education. bachelor of music degree obtained from manhattan school of music.

spoken languages. can speak fluent english, turkish, spanish, & french.

negative traits. haughty, abrasive, enigmatic, cynical, temperamental, calculating, hedonistic, distant, sarcastic, & volatile.

positive traits. adept, diligent, charming, resilient, candid, adept, charming, audacious, determined, & resourceful.

strengths. efficient, energetic, self-confident, strong-willed, strategic thinker, charismatic, & inspiring.

weaknesses. stubborn, dominant, intolerant, impatient, arrogant, poor handling of emotions, cold, & ruthless.

talents. piano, retaining information, memory recall, lock-picking, carjacking, hand-to-hand combat, automobile knowledge, tracking people down, & excellent problem-solving abilities. 

physiology. dark brown eyes. dark brown hair. six feet, one inch tall. of a lean, broad stature with a straight posture and evident height. has a few silvery scars littered across his skin. has a few tattoos in a few less visible places. is ambidextrous.

psychology. scorpio zodiac. water element. slytherin house. entj-a. chaotic neutral. type eight enneagram. choleric temperament. interpersonal intelligence type. addicted to alcohol, tobacco, prescription drugs, cocaine, and cannabis. suffers from addiction and insomnia. his vices are lust, wrath and pride. his virtues are ... honestly, probably just diligence tbh.

background.

possible triggers   :   infidelity, divorce, alcoholism, drug abuse, cancer, death, car crash, funeral, blood, murder, suicide mention, gun mention, & various references to death and murder. 

a synopsis.   ah, here he is—my tol, troubled, grouchy son : ' ) don't u just adore ur resident trashy, snarky, but precious and sad fuckboi muse? bc i know I DO! anyways, before i digress, i'll cut to the chase. so, waaay before he blessed the universe with his presence, his mother ( who was originally from turkey ) moved to the states where she met one alexander hale. you can probably guess the rest: the pair married, they had children, everything seemed to be going swimmingly, yada yada. here’s a lil background: the hale family—a line of manhattan-born businessmen / lawyers / diplomats etc. they're dripping in wealth, not always as squeaky clean as they portray themselves as to be. kaleb’s dad was a douche, expected both of his sons to follow in his shadow and become lawyers, ran around behind his wife's back: the whole shoot and shebang of a classic a-hole. he always kind of ignored kaleb in favour of his eldest son joshua so kaleb kinda became hard-hearted and resentful due to the lack of his father's attention. skip a few years and he spied his dad cheating on his mother with his secretary though he refused to tell another soul for fear of any potential backlash. soon enough, his mother found this out for herself, their argument ruined his thirteenth birthday party then they divorced soon after. his mother fell off the wagon, became terminally ill—all while his father was remarrying and expecting a daughter with his secretary. it was a hella rough two years for kaleb. it got even worse. eventually, his mother passed away and his step-mother divorced his father to breeze off into the sunset with her new lover; leaving her daughter with her piss-poor excuse of a dad. at this point, kaleb was lonely and angry but adopted the role of his step-sister's protector, shielding her from their father's increasing substance abuse induced violence. just before his seventeenth birthday, his father died in a car crash. of course, he didn't entirely mourn the loss. almost immediately, he and his younger sister moved in with their elder brother who helped kaleb get into university. with dear ole dad out of the picture, he could finally pursue his interest and flair for music. after he graduated, he moved to santa ysabel with his brother and brother's family. in the beginning, things were going fine. yeah, sure, he was struggling for work and felt bad that his brother had to keep him afloat. normal stuff. then, one day, things quickly turned sour in his world. [ TRIGGER FOR GORE, BLOOD, SUICIDE MENTION, GUN MENTION, MURDER, DEATH ] he’d came home to find the locks on the doors busted, advancing into the house carefully only to find his brother’s lifeless corpse crumbled on the kitchen tiles: his throat and wrists slashed, posed as a suicide. of course, kaleb knew better. he knew his brother; knew he would never leave him or his family. upon further inspection of the house, he’d discovered the body of his wife upstairs: a bullet hole between her eyes. [ TRIGGER OVER ] the whole ordeal was enough to turn his stomach but once the sickness had subsided, all kaleb felt was a strong thirst for blood. sure, it was pretty damn stupid to try and seek revenge or whatnot ... but kaleb had always been one to let his heart guide his brain. anyways, time skip now to the moment he’d uncovered his brother’s entanglement with some dodgy loan shark, drug dealing criminals who were responsible for his murder. in the end, he’d hunted them down and eradicated them one by one, over a span of weeks. at first, he hated himself and what his desire for vengeance had turned him into but he kept going until he’d got them all: until he’d grown numb. truthfully, how he wound up taking lives for a living is beyond him. he woke up one day, found himself hired by some big-wig businessman who wanted rid of his business partner and et voilà, he was tangled up in the dark side of existence. i mean, was he blackmailed into doing his first paid hit? yes. but who can blame him? especially when they claimed to have intel regarding the sudden demise of a prominent figure in the criminal underbelly of the city, a.k.a his brother’s killer. it was a risk kaleb simply couldn’t take. he prefers to keep himself anonymous, hidden behind shadows, unsuspecting. death has become a job. nothing more. nothing less. it’s simply the algorithm of his existence: receive a dossier, take care of the target, get paid a hefty lump sum. and all just for enacting a stranger’s revenge in the blood of another. he moves like a deadly phantom, his footsteps light as a feather, whipping through the night like a bullet through a target’s skull. sartre claims that hell is other people. and if you were to stare into kaleb’s eyes—eyes eerily similar to having been cut from coal—you might just see hell and everyone in it staring right back at you. as nietzsche wrote: “ he who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. and if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. ”

random extras.

he has a lot of small scars over his body, most of which he can’t account for or has forgotten about.

owns and drives a black 1969 boss 429 mustang which he loves arguably more than he loves himself.

speaking of, he actually is full of self-hatred so don’t let the haughtiness fool you.

trusts nobody but himself and is loyal to nobody but himself.

has a lot of anger issues so often ends up taking part in underground fights.

he rates around a solid three on the kinsey scale.

is a distant person; closed-off emotionally and prefers to keep himself to himself.

when it comes to whether or not he is morally decent or an extremely bad person, he is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.

he isn’t heartless but he isn’t exactly compassionate either.

kind of shady but knows how to pass himself as charming. 

has been thru sum shit n seen sum shit so he’s v messed up inside.

though he does have a soft spot for animals and children.

his marksmanship is impeccable.

he’s naturally gifted with firearms and his shot is always on point.

dark eyes and bruised knuckles are his ultimate aesthetic tbh.

actually really appreciates classical music, though he’ll never tell. blame it on his piano lessons from childhood.

speaking of piano, he’s low key gifted at playing although he rarely does these days.

has a very short fuse and can lose his temper quite easily.

he has a good heart and good intentions when it comes to those he actually cares about although he’ll never let this show.

favourite coping mechanism? isolation.

a bit of a lone wolf. he keeps people at arm’s length but acts in a way where people are under the illusion he’s their friend.

basically the tall, dark and handsome trope: ( most of the tall, dark and handsome men display aloof, cold and distant personality but they do have a gentle and caring side. )

is a little snarky and grumpy but if you manage to break this exterior, you’ll find he’s quite witty and easy going.

he got into fighting at a young age. it was the only way to try and learn how to defend himself against his father.

sleep?? he doesn’t know her.

tends to repress his emotions until he explodes.

healthy coping mechanisms?? he doesn’t know them either.

is prone to pushing the self destruct button.

you can find a pinterest board for him by clicking anywhere here.