#i like suffering

[fredshechinger]

©

joel miller playlist

[xiwatchthemoon]

déjà-vu

pairing : xavier/shen xinghui x mc

warnings : angst, probably ooc xavier since i suck at writing fictional characters in character, this was made super fast so it probably sucks lol

background : based off the lumière myth

word count : 1,01k words

AN : hi so this is the first oneshot and LADS fic i've done. it may be ass. i'm sorry. doing this to challenge my writers' block. btw english is not my first language so i apologize for the mistakes. and i suck at angst so this might be ass i’m sorry 💔

you find it odd that minutes ago, you were on the set of a movie. and now, you're in the middle of the city, taking care of the hordes of wanderers coming your way. xavier was on his own separate mission. jenna didn't assign him any teammate. you wonder if he's fine.

he's strong. he'll make it. he has to.

the commercial center is filled with wanderers. although the other hunters do their best to evacuate the civilians, casualties are inevitable. the news broadcasts were right on one thing : all of linkon needed a miracle, and that miracle should've been lumière. but rumours of his appearance were very weak. xavier explicitly said lumière must be hiding from the public after all these years.

it's no use getting your hopes up.

while you were too busy worrying about xavier, a wanderer sneaks up on you and slashes the right side of your waist. you suppress a scream after you feel the overwhelming, excruciating pain. you shoot the wanderers gathering around you, but they were definitely too many.

"[name], are you okay?"

captain jenna's voice sounded in your earbud.

"fall back. it's no use dying here."

"i can keep fighting..." you utter breathlessly, taking down wanderers one by one.

you feel yourself bleeding out. one hand on your open wound, you have to sheathe one of your guns. your mind gets hazier by the minute. your limbs, limp. you are not in control of your body anymore. at least, you don't feel like you are. your consciousness is slipping away.

you hear a scream coming from the commercial center. civilians try to escape, but around ten wanderers are blocking them. the last bit of strength is consumed at that moment, where you take down the apparitions. you feel your legs weakening, and before you know it, your knees landed on a pool of blood on the concrete. your wound got worse.

your mind is hazy. you can't stay focused. the sounds around you blur. you actually lose control over your senses.

the face of your boyfriend popped into your head.

"is he... okay?"

you blink, your eyes closed for a good second, and at that moment, you see someone in a familiar costume.

“lumière?”

how similar to the chronorift catastrophy. but you recognize some striking traits belonging to your beloved.

"xavier...?"

your eyes get teary. the man says nothing and teleports you to a quiet and safe place. the stars are shining brightly. he holds you in his arms, and once he takes his mask off, the distress is the first emotion you notice.

he puts his hands over your wound, trying to contain the bleeding. however, his hands are already drenched with blood.

"you're safe." you say laboriously, in between breaths.

"take deep breaths. people are coming for you. we're gonna get you patched up, okay?" he ensures, the despair heard in his voice. you just shake your head slowly.

"it's too late. i'm already dying."

he was too late.

he's always too late. he may give up his freedom, his life, he'll always be too late. whatever the sacrifice, he will always be too late, won't he?

"no, wait. you lasted until now. wait until help arrives, please..."

"stop. it's gonna be okay."

his hold on your wound gets weaker before he ultimately releases it. he holds your body in his arms. the night sky was dark, free of stars, which reflected the sorrowful events quite well.

"i'm happy i got to see you before i die," you say. a weak hand goes to his cheek, slowly stroking it.

xavier, who's seen you die already, should be steeled by now. but he's actually weaker than ever, a tear falling from his eye to your cheek.

"we still... have so much to do together," he whispered, his voice cracking.

"don't worry," you say, a small, weak smile plastered on your face, getting paler. "i'll find you in my next life. then, we'll be able to do all we promised."

"starting with watching a meteor shower together," he suggests.

"of course."

you chuckle, stroking his tearful eyes gently. however, he looks like he already lost you. his mouth twitches ever so slightly, as if he wants to muffle his cries.

"i didn’t want to be sad,” you say with a chuckle. “these last few months with you are everything to me. so please, don’t be sad.”

he nods his head slightly. you couldn't see his eyes, they were hidden by his hair.

"thank you for saving me, all these years ago."

"i'll keep saving you, over and over again."

"i know. but i wanted you to rely on me sometimes" xavier's breath hitches in his throat, a choked sob escaping his lips.

“but look what happens then,” he whispers. you could only sigh.

a tear drops from your eye to your cheek. you knew it'd be soon. you couldn't feel the warmth of his body anymore.

"i love you," you whisper.

"i love you too. i'll always love you."

"don’t forget me, okay?" your voice weakens. he nods, holding your body tighter against his body, trying to feel warmth. but there was no warmth. you were gone.

xavier feels constant vibrations from his hunter’s watch. eventually, out of anger, he opens them and hears jenna’s panicked voice.

“xavier, get back here. you’re gonna make us all die.”

he couldn’t speak. and when he did, he could only utter this.

“[name]’s gone. again.”

the captain stayed silent and let him process his emotions alone for a few minutes. the man cradled his beloved’s dead body, his tears staining her bloody clothes. as he eventually leaves their body, he only felt more and more nauseous, unable to truly leave them.

the next day, the fascinating tale of lumière saving linkon city was the talk of the town. and on the news, a hunter was reported dead after saving many lives in the battles. the report was ignored by everybody.

everybody but a man named xavier, who lost his beloved in the fight.

★no reposts ! please give credits to xiwatchthemoon★

[kelsunnie]

mb guys i been ded im working on another paper as we speak,,,,,,,, ts never stops ong but ngl this is fun...!

[goodobservationshirley]

Durin will come.

[literallyandrewminyard]

Gonna start reading Die free or die a failure today yall wish me luck🧚‍♀️

[maiasnumber1fan]

Anyone else headcanon that after Noatak went missing Nya subconsciously got more protective of Tarrlok

[new-tella-us]

Omaizel’s decision was not a light one. She did love her son, but she was going insane. She just needed some peace. Besides, he would have just been sold off to a different kingdom anyway and if his role was anything similar to hers, this was mercy in comparison. That’s what she’ll tell herself anyway. That’s what she has to tell herself to cope. She had to do this with no hesitation. After all, if she fails then there’s no other way out, nothing she could say would make this better. And if she succeeds, no amount of begging will bring him back.

[annionebutme]

Framing this comment. I love making people cry. Fair warning to anyone holding on for the end of keep me safe it's a fucken long way away but it will have SADS

[rainbowwwanon]

Mod, was it that their hands were disappearing?? Was that correct??

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, who's to say?? You're all gonna have to keep guessing until something happens! /Ooc

[color-ns]

Sometimes tweeter people know their stuff- this is the right kind of toxic angst I want to read.

[pioupioufindme]

i enjoy writing fic that demands my brain cells to explode on my computer

[bogkeep]

ok so i think that my favourite fantasy subgenre is The Inherent Tragedy Of Being Born Into Royalty. which mostly means that i like to read about gay princes but with some nuance

[mobydyke]

we need 15-20 episode seasons again these limited series have the worst pacing in the world and none of the character decisions hold any weight

[factual-fantasy]

Following the release of TADC episode 5, I have made a liiiiittle change to my AU.✨🐸🤝🐰✨

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[lesbianshepard]

funniest thing about dnd is that I made my character a failson specifically to make a rich guy suffer, but I keep rolling really high on important things, so everything has been working out for him really well, and his belief that rich people should never face any consequences just keeps getting reinforced again and again