#i like the characters not knowing why they're wrong but self-reflecting and learning in their own way

[t-u-i-t-c]

Shinobi 4: It's Here! Paonmaru

[swappedandtrapped]

Rent Help - Part 3

As always, character consistency is hard for me. Just go with it.

I wake up again. Every time I wake up, I have about a minute of peace before my brain starts to boot and realizes where it is. That minute of bliss is what has kept me going recently. It's the only part of the day when I don't feel so… Wrong.

Waking up unwillingly, I go to the bathroom to wash my face. When I arrive, I realize it's been about a week after the car crash and I still can't get used to seeing Roy when I look in the mirror.

I study my new reflection. I stare at my skin blemishes on Roy's dark skin. My big Brown eyes underneath my thick eyebrows. My nose in the middle of the face that is now mine… When I open my mouth to brush my teeth, I see a crooked array of yellowish rectangles. I cringe realizing I'm actually tasting Roy's mouth and teeth 24/7. Roy didn't have a spare toothbrush, so I had to use his old one. Disgusting. I hate this so much. Why doesn't he take care of himself?

When I return to his room to get dressed, I sigh in frustration. During the last few days, I finally understood why Roy felt comfortable walking around without his shirt on. I was just too hot. ALL THE TIME. The meat and fat of his stocky body type kept the heat trapped within me. If I had a shirt on for more than 5 minutes I would start sweating and smell Roy's scent even more.

So just like he did, I elected to spend the day shirtless again. It's not like anyone would see me. Well except for… Me.

After trying to explain to Roy in my body what happened, he's gotten cold. I mean, I would too. I was practically begging him to remember, but when I'm in Roy's body, it's pretty hard to convince someone who he really is.

"I'm coming back late." He states in a premeditatedly cold intonation. "Ok," I reply in the same manner. I didn't see the point to initiate another argument. convincing him is impossible. "I might bring someone back with me. Please don't be weird when she's here." "Ok. I reply again. But missing any sense of my old self, I ask: "Someone I know?" "None of your business Roy." I cringe at the sound of that name. "And also, you don't know any of my friends. They're MY friends. Even if you… Think otherwise…" He goes out, leaving me alone in the flat.

Like a punch in the fucking gut.

Which reminded me, I'm hungry. I order an extra-large Pizza so Roy's stomach would leave me alone. Roy had an apatite I couldn't ignore easily. At first, I fought off his habits, unwilling to accept the new situation. But as the days went on, I gave in to most of Roy's habits. Like eating too much of this junk. I look at my body and feel shame as I admit I lost the battle against Roy's needs.

Later, I lay on the sofa, investigating Roy's phone. Thankfully, he locked his phone with Face ID, so I didn't have to guess any passwords and was able to unlock it. Every time I have some time off, I study his phone and learn a bit more about Roy's schedule and connections.

You see, I did swap bodies with him, but I didn't acquire his memories. So, I try to avoid all contact until I get the hang of whatever relationships he had in his life. "Yes, it's me. I'm Roy." I say to myself, trying to fake his tone. Even though I hear his voice, it still feels fake.

But today, after going through all his texts, I began looking through his notes app. I find there grocery lists, names of bands he wanted to check out, some foreign language I still can't read, and also something with the title… "Research"? What's this?

I open the file and my eyes widen. It's a long note, riddled with an assortment of semi-related bullet points regarding… "POWERS"!?

POWERS

possible timed cooldown? variable? Tested times: 5 days (17/05) 8 days (15/09) 6 days (12/11)

only post 24h mark???

ignore. no cooldown. instance of instant swap back. There's another condition.

Note the eye glow at optional swap time. Starts fading. Possible relation to condition?

Ignore. Doesn't fade.

Best swap triggers: visualize face, focus on identity

He was researching his swapping power. I guess Roy didn't receive a handbook with this ability, so he tried to mark the triggers and limitations he confirmed to be true. This was a goldmine. Maybe there's a limit on how long we can stay swapped?

Wait. If I'm Roy… I have his powers! I can swap us back!

I read the whole file, attempting to figure out exactly what conclusions Roy had and what I needed to do to return to my body. It looks like he could just will the swaps to make them happen, but there was some sort of condition that prevented swapping back at some times. Roy named it "The Condition", and going by his note, he didn't figure out what it was.

I immediately try to follow his technique and will the swap to come. I visualize my body, focus on my identity, but 20 minutes later, I'm still stuck in Roy's flesh. When I looked in the mirror, I still see his regular brown eyes. No glow or anything.

Does this 'condition' he mentioned apply to my situation? Am I just a moment away from retrieving my life back? I need to figure out what it is.

Going over Roy's notes I began piecing together a picture of Roy's swapping experiences. Some were willing, some were not. Some were functional, but some were for no reason at all other than to swap. But after a few hours of going over the cases, I started noticing a pattern.

While swaps were able to occur at any time, reverse swaps would never work on days of a full moon or new moon! That's the only explanation! It fits in every swap Roy documented in this file. This must be it!

But then I stop. Wait, today isn't a full or new moon. Why am I not able to swap us back?

A new fear rushes in as I hear the apartment door open. "Yeah, and then we… Oh, hey Roy," says Roy in my body accompanied by a girl I used to know. She waves politely at me with a certain reservation. I guess he warned her about me… "So it's the last door on the left." He points to the bathroom. "Thanks. It'll be just a minute." She says, closing the door after her.

Roy in my body leans silently on the wall, checking his phone for messages while he waits for her to finish. I look at him with envy.

But then I see it. His eyes. That Glow. It was subtle, but it was definitely there.

I don't have Roy's swapping power.

He does.

It swapped along with his body.

Tears start forming in my eyes as I realize the only hope I had of getting back was never an option. Roy looks up from his phone to me. Seeing my pathetic face in ruin. He makes an expression I can't decipher. Maybe empathy, but probably pity.

My friend exits the bathroom. "Hey," Roy turns to her. "Wait for me in the car, ok? I need to close a small thing with Roy. "Sure. Don't be long." She said going out the door. "I won't." He answers.

We look at each other for a few quiet moments. "Listen, are you gay or something?" "What?" I ask confused. Still in tears. "You want to be me. You cry when you see me with girls. I can add 2 plus 2 you know." "Fucking ass." I spit out. He duped me into this mess. He should rot in hell. "Don't be a bitch man. This can't-" "Bitch!??" I cut him off. "This is all your fault! I'm like this because of you!"

I charge towards him. I'm stuck like this because of him! I needed him to know how much I suffer because of his recklessness! But Roy was quick enough to get out of the way.

"Ok Roy. Fine. You started this." "Fuck off!"

I charge again, and Roy slips to the side again. I stumble and crash onto the living room floor and feel great pain in my back. I scream in pain and frustration. This fucking weight. I start sweating again and smell Roy's body stench, but I can't concentrate on it. I feel my body grounded by another body.

"That's IT Roy!" He yells at me from above. He prevents me from getting up. God dammit why didn't Roy ever go to the gym? "Get off of me!" I shout. "Say your name." He commands me as I struggle. "Say your name Roy." "I'm telling you! I'm not Roy!" I cry out. "It's the deal man, it's the swap deal!"

My face explodes with massive pain. Roy punched me in the fucking face.

"SAY YOUR NAME." "You can still have it! You can still swap us back! Please! Remember!"

Bam. Another one. I hear my nose crack and start feeling the blood.

"This is going to keep happening until you say your fucking name Roy." "You're hurting me! Please! Your eyes! I can tell you have your power!"

This time it was a punch from the right. My head is spinning.

"You know what? Even if I did have this power, I would never swap with you!" He shouts at me. "You are PATHETIC." Punch. "You stay to slob at home. You have no friends. You're an ugly motherfucker that can't even accept who he is!" Another punch.

But he's right. This is me now. I can say whatever I want but the fact remains. I'm in his body, and I'm here. Permanently. And even if he could swap us, he will never do it after this."

"For the last time. Say. Your. Name." "Roy." I whimper. "Louder." "Roy." "Now the whole sentence. Shithead" "My name is Roy."

He lifts me and pushes me in front of a full-length mirror.

"Now say it like you mean it. Tell it to yourself"

I look at my pathetic excuse for a body. I see a chubby guy with a bloody face. I see black hair all over covering a dark skin.

"My name is Roy Alamin." "And don't you fucking forget it."

[mostly-magical-polls]

You are not a magical girl. A magical girl is given magic powers by a supernatural entity, often accompanied by being given a magical object and having a transformation physically. You practice standard Tiktokified witchcraft ripped out of its' cultural context and original sources wherein things are thrown together and assumed to work for a magical purpose with no knowledge of why they would, what culture came up with the idea, or what the old pagan community thinks about it. There's no deity or supernatural entity who gave you magical powers. You got your "magic" via watching some Tiktoks and scrolling through tumblr.

That is not the same thing as being a magical girl. It's just paganism, watered down as hard as possible in order to avoid thinking, reflecting or doing the reading. There is no such thing as an IRL magical girl. You call yourself that because you lack confidence in your paganism and need to self-soothe by calling it something you think sounds cool. You call yourself that because you're so over-invested in a genre of fiction that you need to pretend everything you do somehow pertains to this genre of fiction.

Magical girls are not real. Anime isn't reality. You are not a magical girl. You are a flesh and blood, real, living human being. Your therapist knows you're too far gone to be saved when it comes to this, so they're too polite to tell you this outright. But it needs to be said: no, you're not an IRL magical girl. You're someone who has to use terms like that to hype yourself up to get through the day out of a need for validation, instead of finding validation and confidence in your actual strengths and accomplishments the way a mentally healthy person does.

"I don't see how this is different from people who say they talk to God" this is a lie. A person who prays to God doesn't go, "This makes me the exact same as a fictional character from a genre of anime I like!" They go, "This makes me a follower of [insert religion here]." No Hindu says that prayer makes them like Goku and no Muslim says that prayer makes them a Gundam pilot IRL.

I know reality is scary. But you're not helping yourself by denying it. You're only going to make it worse when shit hits the fan and you have to deal with the realization that no amount of, "I'm a magical girl!" is going to soothe over the pain you're feeling. This is not a good or healthy coping mechanism. This is a coping mechanism that encourages you to think of anime and reality as more or less the same thing. That means that when real life hits, it hits you much, much harder than it does someone whose paganism is based in a reality-centric approach. A Wiccan or an Asatru person wouldn't have that awful moment where it hits that no, they're not like Sailor Moon IRL and they're not Madoka Kaname but real. Their spiritual paths involve addressing their real life problems, reflecting on them, doing magic and standing firm in their beliefs. There is no need to tell themselves they're functionally an IRL Precure. They have confidence and pride in who they are, not in what kind of anime character they would like to be.

I used to hide from reality too, when my anxiety disorder was untreated. It didn't help. It didn't fix anything. Entertainment will not be your salvation. You won't learn how to deal with the real world by pretending that you're just like an anime character. You are something much better than an anime character - a real person. There's nothing wrong with that. Embrace it.

You are not a magical girl. And that's a good thing.

imagine hoppin in my inbox just to say all this. fuck off im literally just having fun.

[that-smallinjured-bowylamb]

Hehe! I have a post abt my characters on my blog that has more info abt them.

Going in order of said post their reactions:

Vector- he likely senses something is off. He has that animalistic sixth sense about Yuu. He acts friendly but every bone in his little fox body is screaming at him to bite Yuu hard enough for an infection.

Liz- he's not entirely convinced by Yuu and will sometimes hang around the reader. At least from most prying eyes. He has a reputation as a trustworthy Octavinelle member to uphold, and unfortunately, the rumors pushing everyone away from the reader make it so that anyone hanging around the reader is shunned. Sometimes talks to the reader about their daydreams of being a pirate/sailor. Even offering to sweep the reader away on a boat. (Reader's no longer existent personality kinda reminds them of North at their first meeting)

Gem-they trust their brother completely. Also hang out with the reader.

Valentine- this man listens to true crime and criminology books while sewing, he knows this creature did something and is wrong in the head.

North- this dude is completely oblivious to the rumours surrounding the reader. Also trusts Grim more cause he's a cat (bro's been lied to by too many humans) and offers the kitty and his favoured human a safe haven.

Solaris-the mind reading fae is looking for an optimal curse for Yuu.

Now for fun; My Yuu's reaction!

They're most likely in a spectral form, but more like a poltergeist (throwing stuff at Yuu, incoherent whispering, etc) is half tempted to possess the reader's body and start wailing on Yuu in front of everyone. Is cursing out every single person who turns away from the reader.

Kaybai for now~~

OMGGG THIS. THISSSN HAHAHSHWJAISJWSHHD making my heartbeat fr- i luv ocs sm idc what my oc-anti classmates say. Ocs r PEAKK. A literal creative imagination to reflect oneself or creativity from SOUL. Ahahajwjwjsj

Reader's personality hasn't been found out yet, not that I don't wanna give them one but,,, thats goinf to sound like a self-insert, so I'll still make it vague if you dont mind!

Listen... ur Ocs,,, I need to gib hug... continuing on-

Reader would most definitely like their presence, some are smart enough to stray away from Yuu [Liz, Valentine, Solaris], some just trusts their loved ones (or interests bc grim,,, cat..) and hangs out with reader because they can [Gem and North], and Vector's instincts vro, absolutely. Like- he doesn't trust them because its obviously of Yuu's vibes. Oh, your suspiciously creepy? I don't like you.

And your Yuu omg- poltergeist... I love watching analog horror or any tyoe of horror, sometimes true documantary when I feel like learning about criminals misdeeds,,, idk why i jst do it, it seems interesting than learning my native language 💔..

Your Yuu is defo fire 💯 [if they r an actual ghost and died somewhere relatively in fire, my apologies 🫶] just helping whenevr they can, waitut... your Yuu teaming up with the other ghosties and annoying the shyte out of creepy!Yuu??? I think that would be hilarious ajjssj-

Wanna know a fun fact btw? This creepy!Yuuniverse is actually based off of Chilla's art games. Night shift, I think? Its where, you play as a female barista trying to go with her life and working in through nightshifts while dealing with many different types of people [customers, your a-hole of a co-worker...] AND two stalkers. Idk how to explain the full game and ion wanna spoil it, you should go watch Coryxkenshin playing that Chilla's art game!!!

[wt2yg]

Bakugou Katsuki analysis

Bakugou Katsuki is obviously a result of bad conditioning. And this flew over so much people heads. People only think trauma is what can mess you up but how you were raised, it plays such a big role too. Like why yall think *some* (not all) spoiled people turn out so rotten as adults. But people are always so against anyone who wants to analysis Bakugous character, cause it means we justify his behaviour, uhm no it means we're trying to figure out were it comes from (shockingly assholes often aren't just born their made), some people actually like to analysis characters wich isn't a weird thing since literature/ character are made to be analysed. If someone gives analysis explaining where someones behaviour comes from psychologically without saying or obviously implying that it justifies their bad behaviour there is nothing wrong with that. Like we know he was a shitty person and Deku didn't deserve that treatment.

Oke so yes him being overly praised means he will have a huge ego. Since he was 4 he has been treated like a God (because he has a strong quirk/allot of talents), making him feel like he was above everyone else, so thats why he acted like that and treated people like they were beneath him. At the same time it made him tie his worth to his ( quirk ) capabilities, cause he was only praised for that part of him. His mom also mentions this how he got shallow praises for his quirk as a kid. So Bakugou observed the good treatment he received as a kid because he had this amazing quirk. He got better treatment and people saw a bright future for him. Whereas with Midoriya when they found out he was quirkless they pitied him and looked down on him. So he starts believing thats just how it is. And also partly why he is so determined on staying at the top/being the best cause thats what gives him worth.(Also one of the main things apart from him thinking that Deku looked down on him that bothered him about Deku is that Midoriya is the living proof of the error in Bakugous mindset, despite him being quirkless he is far from worthless).The issue is, is that he didn't get corrected from this mindset. In fact he didnt get corrected at all from this. Like why was no one mentioning in ep 1 how the teacher did nothing to correct/stop him when he was putting down his other classmates quirks or when he bullied Deku (I'm not talking about that moment after class, but before) he was dead silent. So since he was 4 Bakugou he has been getting away with his behaviour and inlarging his ego. Children need guidance cause they're obviously still learning about morals and how the world works. Them being corrected at a young age for wrong thinking patterns/behaviours is so crucial like that is also one of the job of teachers. Teach them wrong from a young age and they *often* (not always) will keep doing wrong, we often still display things we learned as children. Cause self reflection is difficult and it's very difficult to unlearn behaviours you developed at a young age without strong determination.

I often see people compare him with that dude from Silent voice. And one thing that was so different is that the guy actually got corrected for his bad behaviour quite early on, Bakugou didnt. However the moment Bakugou enters UA Aizawa is quick to call him out for his behaviour, he doesn't let it slide. He meets more adult figures in school life who don't enable his behaviour. Best jeanist is also a good example for this. And we actually see Bakugou change within a year being there. Obviously that was not the only reason why he changed but it played a big role.

Okay so now his homelife is see people often yap about "why is he so angry" "he is so agressive" and i'm so surprised after we got introduced to his parents people are still puzzled? Like hello, he got it from his mom. People are like he is rich and his parents love him well yeah (also being rich and parents loving you isn't the formula to perfect child, proper raising is actually also required, do people forget your parents can love you and still be bad at parenting, like a good example is spoiling or being overly protective) but that doesn't take away he was still raised in a household were anger and agression are one of the main ways of self expression. Like name one time were they showed their family household not screaming/arguing (except when he was born 💀). Like duh thats how he is going to express himself like people expected him to be like fluttershy. Yes, you could say his father is soft, but mitsuki is clearly the dominant parent role in that household and we see how his efforts to keep things calm don't work/get ignored. Bakugou obviously mostly got influenced by her. He is a male version of her in behaviour and also in his looks.

They don't have that much scenes but i do think the scenes they do put about them are supposed to make clear what their overal dynamic is. Constant anger, arguing and agression. Like yes arguing happens in every household but when that is the main thing you express most of the time in communicating or in your household, it's not healthy. The most important appearance we have of his parents being the house visit. I'm not saying Mitsuki is abusive. Hitting your child is quite acceptable in allot cultures. I was raised like that too, i agree sometimes we deserve our smacks, however I also wouldn't say hitting your child as only way of disciplining or hitting allot is a very healthy dynamic. Since the line between when it becomes abusive is very thin. I do think his upbringing was quite toxic, especially from her side. Her smacking him allot i'm not going to count as abusive since often in mha people being violent is put as gag.

Like Jirou zapping Denki when he pisses her off. I agree gagscenes are not supposed be taken at face value but it is also dangerous to completly dismiss them and assume they don't hold any truth in them. They're trutfull but just dramatized, they hold some truth to them. Like The manga always joking about Deku fanboying and it being perceived as stalkerish/creepy makes it clear how his fanboying is a little bit a above what most would consider normal.

However With Bakugous mom were supposed to take from it that she does hit him allot even if there is no reason for it like in the beginning scene of us meeting them, and she just slaps him eventhough he didn't do anything. He also confirms this in the redo of the hero licenses exam that he was raised with a violence and thats why he was so quick to resolve to that to keep those children in line. This very much explains also why he is so quick to agression its normalized behaviour in his household. Like i said i'm hesitant to call it abusive but honestly I don't get why people want to push it by saying its a perfect household situation, if agression and anger is the main way of expression its not healthy. So i really don't get why people don't get why he behaves like that.

However my main issues fr, fr is how she choses to verbally deal with him. She brings him down very harshly. Her blaming him for causing everyone trouble for being weak and getting kidnapped is such a red flag. And it bothers me how overlooked this is. Lets be honest people often downplay it cause they don't like Bakugous character and admitting this was messed up would mean to empathise with him (despite him being very popular at the same time he is very hated because of his bully history wich is understandable i believe allot of people put their own personal bully experience hence why people tend to downplay his growth but also this statement made by his mom) or its downplayed cause people who live in a similar household aren't ready to adress the toxic aspect of it. So yes i know allot of people reference this as just a gag scene but this is not very comparable to a character throwing a bowling ball at another character and that character bouncing back to normal after. A few chapters later we see this line referenced again. I don't genuinely believe the author would write such a comment and think everyone would crack up about it. this is a whole ass accusation and then a few chapters later we have Bakugou crying, because if "he wasn't weak and gotten kidnapped he wouldn't be the reason all might had to retire". And people think the author just wrote these two similar lines by accident. I'm surprised they didn't see this as an "ah ha" moment it's a mindset he took over from his mom he got it from home. It's another reason why Bakugou hates being perceived as weak and why he tries so hard to be considered as the strongest. i do however also think it's mixture from home and his school life (environment). He puts that extra pressure because he also links his self worth to his (quirk) capabilities, because of all the praise he got so people expect him to be amazing/strong all the time, but also because because of weak is seen as negative by his mom. So he also thinks the stronger he is the better he is. I believe she has a toxic traits he takes from her however i do think she loves him and honestly isn't aware of this. Like said a gag always has some truth in it

Also i saw someone point this out and i actually agree too. Bakugous mom adressed how Bakugou behaviour comes from him being overpraised by everyone wich partly is true. But that doesn't fully adress his other major problems people around him have with him aka his anger/agression issues and a partly his inferiorty complex. And as parents they didn't take responsibility for there shortcomings eventhough they played a role aswell they fully put this on others. Bakugou is literally a more extreme version of his mom, but she doesn't acknowledge this in her speech about were his behaviour comes from nor does she mention what they did to fix it. they make clear they realise his issues but didn't do anything /or much to fix it. You can say maybe her harsh way of talking him down, is a way of humbling him but that clearly isn't healthy, (not saying she only talks him down), nor does it seem to help him, since he was still acting out. Only getting tough love from a parent and that also being the main ways of how love is showed in the household (she is the dominant parent and they show his father isn't really a balance either because he gets ignored trying to butt to stop their fights or to keep calm) isn't good. This explains Bakugous struggle with being vulnerable infront of people, without seeing it as a weakness and a part of his inferiority complex.

On top of this on their first meeting all might literally points out how their family is dysfunctional. Once again people can see this as a gag, but like I said they all hold a level of truth in them. Especially since its not stretch for him to think that off a family that argues in such extreme ways and is agressive towards eachother. Yes, I see that they love eachother but it doesn't take rocket science to see that he wasn't raised in a very healthy household. Like imagine your friend and always him and his mom are arguing, putting eachother down with words in extreme ways and being agressive. Like i said i don't think it abusive, but be so fr you wouldn't find it's healthy and wouldn't think it's perfect either. In my opinion Deku has the healthier family Dynamic of the two of them and his dad is barely home.

Lets add to that when Bakugou was retaking his herolicense exam with Todoroki. Bakugou gets criticism for his ways of dealing with children he defends it by saying he was raised with violence and he turned out fine and Todoroki says no...(obviously he is against violence because he was raised in an abusive household and his situation is not comparable to Bakugous) my point here is that Bakugou clearly didn't turn out fine with the way he was raised, this throws a jab at it proving his upbringing clearly influenced him negativly. Eventhough its kinda a gag it holds truth in it. The author completly dimisses his ways (in other words his moms) way of dealing with kids this chapter. Often when they show his household it doesn't look that healthy, people often want to dimiss this and only focus on the scenes with the photoalbum,or that they said he was raised with love like yes those are important too, but why not also acknowledge the negative traits they highlight often as well. People need to realise loving parents can still mean they didn't raise you right as well.

I also want to add I know that people use as debunk that his household resemblance a typical asian household. I don't have anything to say to that since i wasn't raised in one however, i do think from what they've shown of them in canon that it also resemblance an another culture household that I do have experience with, wich has allot of hitting, screaming, pressure, and not much room for expression of vulnerability and allot of being put down with words, allot of tough love this traits that i see with him as well(not to say every African household is like that and that they only express these traits, there is also allot of love atleast how i was raised) and let's be honest they aren't really healthy quite toxic actually. So yeah this was my rant

[shannonsketches]

I noticed that the element of the triforce that the individual characters are supposed to represent, is also their weakness. Zelda's wisdom is being stifled by doubt and lack of experience; she's eager to learn, but her zeal is not enough and relies on faith and Link to save the day. I'm not implying that wisdom and faith cannot go hand in hand, but she needs to be able to represent her element more. Maybe her wisdom is knowing when to wait and allow someone else to bear the task? But it takes away too much initiative from her. Ganon's element is power but he's the one who ends up losing almost every time. And Ganondorf on his own, isn't powerless! He's a king, he knows magic, he can wield almost any weapon, he's patient, conniving and intelligent and knows how to make best with what he has. He isn't weak! And yet, the whole split happened, because he was feeling powerless.

They locked themselves in a self-sabotaging cycle that's powered by doubt.

Yeah! So one of the reasons I really love the Triforce lore is that it’s a three-way mirror that reflects both what the user has and also what they need (very wizard of oz).

Ganondorf is a very powerful man, physically, and magically.

Politically, though, he’s next to helpless, which is an awful thing for a king to be. He’s a king of thieves in OoT, because the Gerudo are not a wealthy or thriving nation there. In-Game they don’t have a local living area like the other regions (or even a store — just one floating bombchu salesman in the middle of the desert) — they’ve got a post-war fortress full of guards, and a temple that is being used as a secret base Hylians can’t get to.

Consider also, Ganondorf is the most highly decorated of the Gerudo, and he’s not decked out in gold. He’s wearing mostly iron and topaz. Nabooru and Twinrova are the only ones who have gold fixtures/jewelry along with the higher ranked guards for their protective elements (which is why I think it could arguably be pale bronze or yellow brass, which is a common and highly durable gold alternative).

The Gerudo are implicitly just surviving in OoT, and Hyrule speaks of them like they’re monsters (except for the one guy in town who has a fetish). More than that, WW establishes that his real grief comes from the weather, which any mortal is powerless to control.

So Ganondorf is powerful as a person, but powerless as a king, which is literally the only thing he was born to be.

Be that as it may, though, he is a well-loved king, and a survivor, and a thief, so he also has to embody both wisdom and courage too!

Zelda is the most obvious mirror to Ganondorf. She is a very powerful woman politically and magically, but physically-- compared to Ganondorf -- she's terribly meek. That's the obvious read, that they're 1:1 Parallels, but her real weakness lies in her courage.

Zelda (in OoT) leans on her massive political power -- In the child timeline, she literally sees a foreign dignitary executed before he does anything wrong, based on a recurring dream she has.

Do you know how insane that is? Do you realize how powerful she is?

Ganondorf is not just some guy -- he's a foreign KING. He's a KING that a TEN YEAR OLD had EXECUTED based on VIBES.

And we think she embodies wisdom because her vibes were (as we, the audience know) correct. But it's actually because as an adult, she understands that none of it needed to happen that way. That the only reason Ganondorf was able to pull off his stunt and get the Triforce at all was because she tried to control the situation, sending Link to gather everything Ganondorf couldn't get himself and put it all precisely where Ganondorf needed it to be.

Despite being a child at the time, by the end of the story, by the time she's Sheik, Zelda is taking full responsibility for what happened, and is doing everything in her now extremely limited power to fix it. She's so sorry to need Link, and at the end of it all is desperate to give him another chance to be a kid, and to be innocent, and to be happy, because she realized so quickly that she never should've involved him, visions be damned. She knows none of it was his fault or his business, and she's mortified that she dragged him into it in her own attempt to control the weather.

These other two items shift in other games -- WW and Twilight Princess show us a Zelda with tremendous courage and very little power, physical or political. And then the Wild's era, despite removing the Triforce narrative, shows us a Zelda with immense power and terrible guilt and insecurity -- her power locked behind her fear, and she is only able to access both when she embraces courage.

Which brings us to Link.

Link, on the surface, is a third wheel in a chess game between ancients. But the reality is that he's the base of the prism. He's the foundation that reflects both of the others.

There are MANY different personalities for Link, and personally my favorite gag is that Link is simply too stupid to be scared, but that's just a gag -- because something I've come to really enjoy and respect about him is that he consistently displays fear. Link embodies courage because he is full of fear and chooses to fight anyway. Link leads a good life. He is comfortable, he has family, he has friends, he knows peace. What makes Link courageous is that he is willing to give up his access to all of that if it means that everyone else keeps theirs.

Link will lock himself in a room with the apocalypse if it means he's the only one who gets hurt, and it's not because he believes this is his sacred duty, or his life's purpose -- he'd much rather be at home chasing chickens around or riding his pony through some pretty scenic route -- it's because he is so full of love for other people that he's willing to give up anything to keep them safe.

Link's not very powerful, but he is also unburdened by any desire to be powerful. Link's not very wise, but he is unburdened by any desire to be wise. Link is content in who he is, Link is happy to keep things simple. But Link is so brave that he becomes a leader, which actually makes him the most dangerous of the three.

Courage, unburdened, is fucking terrifying. To both Wisdom and Power. Because, unlike Wisdom and Power, Courage is contagious.

Link can empower and inspire and reveal truths others might not have been able to find on their own. Link doesn't need charisma or brutality. Link can build armies just by being observed.

"But Sketches, you haven't really said anything about how Link reflects the other two." It's subtle! But he does. I see it like this:

• Ganondorf reflects Link's relentless determination, refusing to stand down in the face of impossible odds. In this way, they're connected by their power and courage. • Zelda reflects Ganondorf's burden of being born in a crown, forcing them to learn leadership, and how to use their recklessness strategically, as children. In this way, they're connected by their power and wisdom. • Link reflects Zelda's sense of love for the faceless innocent, and her dedication to protecting all who can't protect themselves. In this way, they're connected by their courage and wisdom.

Because the inherent configuration of the triforce requires those connections to be balanced -- Separately they are overwhelmed by their traits. Ganondorf is willing to sacrifice everything he is in order to reach his goals, Zelda is so pre-occupied with preventing prophecy she ends up instigating it, and Link is so ready to step in and help that he never considers the consequences.

Every single one of them, left to their own devices, would rather see themselves destroyed than fail those who may or may not be relying on their success. They're all very similar, highly reflective characters who all represent compelling foils for each other and yes, display how their unfettered strengths are also the thing that damage them most.

[bonefall]

You can ignore this but I was just curious. What are your thoughts on redemption? I know modern day it means "character gets absolved of all wrongdoing and sin, and everyone forgives them yay!" But I'm talking more like, redemption as "Character acknowledges their actions and worldview was shitty, has apologized to all harmed parties, some forgive and some don't, but regardless character works on their issues and strives to become better"

I know characters are writing tools, so the message here would, in short, be "No matter what you can still work to be a better person". So I suppose I'm asking to what extent you agree. Sorry if this ask is everywhere I'm very sick at the moment.

I speak harshly of redemption arcs because I am actually an aficionado. I love them. I can't get enough of them, honestly. They're like eggs to me, I like 'em in all sorts of ways, devilled, omeletted, scrambled, but rotten ones are so bad you've gotta get rid of them immediately.

What often ends up setting me off about how redemption arcs are approached (and discussed) is the pervasive fact that people are more interested in sorrowful abusers than messy victims. They'll turn out to gush about how wonderful it is that Clear Sky cries about how sad murdering women made him, while not even recognizing Star Flower is self-destructing or Thunder is deflecting and misplacing.

It's like... even in fandom you will never get away from it. Your abuser is compelling and complex (meaning "was mean and sad at the same time"), and you're whiny and annoying ("ugh why is this traumatized person doing irrational things?! Don't they ever learn?!")

So when I write and when I talk, victims are always forefront in my mind. I'm really tired of stories that center Good Intentions or "but they loved you"

But anyway, digressing,

I agree. It really is never too late to work to be a better person. It's not even about apologizing, or making up for it, because sometimes you can't. "Sorry" will never undo what happened, and "sorry" doesn't even promise that real change is behind it.

So to me, a good redemption is just about exploring change.

Not suffering, I don't entirely like the idea that pain fixes pain, because it really doesn't. Reflection does. Genuinely understanding what was wrong and why you did it does. In spite of how cathartic it is to see someone get karma, I do hope that 99% of all people could be rehabilitated.

It's why I'm not fond of the phrasing where people want to deny redemption arcs because "they don't deserve it.' The WORLD deserves it. The people they will HELP deserve it. The person they will be deserves it. The question really is-- WOULD they change?

And the answer for powerful people is usually no. Power feels good. Gets you what you immediately want, makes it easy to surround yourself with yesmen who reinforce your excuses.

I think most people want to see others get better, but it's cathartic to me when some characters don't. Redemption arcs are wonderful things, but shouldn't be seen as the IDEAL ending for every villain, y'know?

[cinnamonest]

holy crap, that tohru fic. Pleaseeeee I MUST know what happens next. Incel misogynist is actually peak content idek anymore what can top that for me. And your writing is so great. When Tohru warned reader he was about to ask a question she could get the wrong idea about, I was like "yeah, it can't be that bad, since he's being apologetic and all," and then he hit her with it 😭 i was like help 💀. I'm also very curious to know how he got fixated on her. Like he was so quick to go, "im gonna kill u because ur not nice enough," but we all know what those small greetings and smiles from darling did for him

To be fair, the more attached guys get, the more volatile they are towards rejection — it's that if I can't have you, no one can type of mentality, and he has it to a very intense degree.

One of the most interesting and captivating parts of Adachi’s character imo is how in the official P4 anthology manga it shows how he's just so bitter and mad that even when he spends a day with the Dojimas and they're actually so nice to him and appreciate him, he goes home and reflects on the day, and ends up getting mad and throwing things and tearing his apartment up — he's one of those people who just can't be happy, can't accept kindness because he's just that bitter.

There's no winning. He'd get angry if he's rejected or reprimanded, but he also can't emotionally handle kindness and love and will push back against it as a defensive measure.

That's why living with him is such a nightmare — you can't appease or placate him. Once he's “mask-off” towards you, you learn he's incredibly pessimistic and interprets everything with bitterness and paranoia. So even if you go out of your way to try to make him happy, his eyes just narrow, he tilts his head and draws the most negative conclusions—

Oh, you're trying to get me to let my guard down, huh?

—or—

You're being awfully nice today. What did you do that you don't want me finding out about…?

—or—

You think I'll just forget about earlier if you're all sweet now, is that it?

Everything, everything you do is automatically viewed through such lenses of negativity. And when he suspects that you're doing something with deceitful intent, he gets mad, and when he gets mad, he gets violent. Holding you by your throat or hair and manhandling you around like a ragdoll.

So you're punished if you're bad, but you're also punished if you're good. But don't think you can escape by trying to stay quiet and neutral — then he gets pissed off because you're being boring and that's annoying, or he interprets it as you avoiding him, giving him a cold shoulder and silent treatment on purpose. And that is probably the worst thing you could do — as always, he's so incredibly sensitive to any form of perceived rejection.

So there really is no winning. You have to give him attention, but if you do, you're trying to deceive him somehow, and if you say you're not then you're lying and that's especially bad. To say it wears on your psyche is an understatement.

Not that he doesn't have his vulnerable moments, in particular when he has bad days at work — he comes home and takes all the frustration out on you, either making you listen to his whining and complaining the whole night, reaming your holes raw and sore, or, usually, both. And in those moments, you sometimes do get a feeling of tenderness, where you physically feel him lose that near-constant feeling of tension in his body as he melts into your touch, lets you rub your hands through his hair and down his back for a few precious, soft moments… but after a bit too long, of course, he snaps back to self-awareness and embarrassment over the momentary vulnerability, and now you have to pay for making him like that.

[omegastation]

I've seen a comment that has been on my mind a lot lately, that the fandom was dead and that there was some gatekeeping. And to be honest, I have no idea if it's true or not and I want to reflect on it.

I've been away for two years, and for sure Tumblr is different. It's not about people, because they are always lovely fans no matter what. I also don't think I have nostalgia goggles telling me "things were better back then" lol I think it's just that Tumblr, for all its flaws, used to have more public fandom discussions. For better or worse, because posting a reply could encourage discussions that were better left alone - but now it seems like nothing is really public or fandom-wide. It's no longer the norm. Replies are left in the post itself so you have less reblogs with discussions. It's very self contained, which, in my humble opinion, might lose a bit of a sense of community.

The main tag itself used to be filled, and now it's not, clearly because a lot of people aren't active anymore. But it's not just that? I find that I discover more posts using the search function, so I'm always a bit confused about how people tag or intend their posts to be found. Maybe it's just me, but it's unclear to me. And I'm at fault too, I've been very intent on not tagging the main tag for a while, and I don't know why. It's not like I'm hiding, but it felt like my playthrough ramblings didn't belong there. Which is ridiculous, because I wouldn't feel that way about posts like this made by other people. I would want to find those in the tag.

I have a feeling a lot more discussions are now happening on Discord, which is not for me. I don't have the mental capacity for now to check a server every day, see new messages and reply. I tried and it's too much. I would feel the same about fandom boards, though they're less instant, so who knows.

Then you have other apps, which don't always encourage discussions. I've been trying to find vids on TikTok, some are great, but the algorithm fed me a lot of ranking companions type of vids with character bashing so I just paused the whole thing.

Then the gatekeeping, I don't know. I think I learned a lot and matured a bit, so I hope my own behavior in fandom is better and more chill than it used to be. But if I am gatekeeping one way or another, you have to tell me. I mean it. Just flat out tell me and explain, because I would never try to be like this on purpose, and I would need to know what I'm doing wrong to do better.

Lately there have been some DA fans who are experiencing ME for the first time and I'm happy for them. There's a lot of joy in discovering this universe, and I would hate for anyone, me included, to take that away from them.

I'm happy when I get to fill the queue, when people are involved, when there are discussions, when we have fun. That's what I want for Appreciation Weeks, even if I know it will be smaller than other years. It's in a few days and I would hate for anyone not to participate because they worry about how they will be received. If there are ways I can make it more welcoming, tell me!

[fanaticastrid]

Your Local SQUIP Fanatic's Probably Way Too Overthought Overanalysis Of The SQUIP (and why I don't think it was evil on purpose)

Because I said I'd make a more in-depth version as this is something I find stupidly interesting. And yeah... this took forever, I kept getting distracted. Woops, sorry.

Anyways, I made an analysis about this before, but I wanted to expand on it because the SQUIP is my favorite character and god damn it I need to yap about them. Let me recap on my prior one-

My copy of the book is tied to the Broadway musical, and it includes an intro from Joe Tracz and Joe Iconis. When talking about how they made changes in the musical, I quote, "The squip in our show proves more insidious than Ned's- though, as in the novel, our squip is a learning AI, which means its bad behavior is simply a reflection of the world around it." I noted that this seemed to be why it turned evil- what it saw in other people. After all, isn't it what sparked "The Pitiful Children?"

It had done what it could for Jeremy at the time, and it saw how his peers were. Remember, it's present and onstage for multiple interactions with the rest of the cast, there's NO way it didn't think on how it could possibly help them as well as Jeremy. And what was that solution? To squip them, too! Surely if it made a loser like Jeremy become popular and more cool (excuse me, chill) then perhaps if the other had squips, it'd help them all, too!

"All your peers are just so incomplete/You can't see it, but they're all in pain/Their operating systems obsolete/So let's complete the chains/And get inside those brains!"

The SQUIP WANTS to help, as it's programmed to do! Seeing how Jeremy and his peers are miserable in their own ways, it went with what it believed to be the most effective and logical solution to the problem. Obviously it went very wrong and went much too far in doing this, but doesn't the fact it's a learning AI help us understand its behavior?

After all, we know how much of an ass it was to Jeremy. It'd probably chuck him over the horizon if it could. But why? Well, I have a thought on this, too. If its bad behavior is a reflection of its surroundings, then perhaps Jeremy himself is to blame? It's possible the SQUIP picked up on his negative self-esteem, and used it on him before turning to a somewhat more positive approach, as we can see in Be More Chill Part 1 and 2.

"Everything about you sucks! Everything about you is so terrible! Everything about you makes me want to die!" to "If if listen to me, everything about you will be so wonderful! Alive! Everything about you will be so cool, and powerful! Popular and incredible!"

I COULD be misremembering as it's been a hot minute since I watched the musical, but I don't believe the SQUIP becomes actively hostile until The Play, when its plan is realized by Jeremy and Michael, armed with Mountain Dew Red, is very much able to deactivate it...

"I'M GOING TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE, JEREMY! EVEN IF I HAVE TO TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE STUDENT BODY TO DO IT!!"

Things go completely off the rails, the SQUIP think it's doing the right thing, it tries one last effort to continue... and bam, is deactivated. At least, mostly, as it lives in "Voices In My Head" as nothing but an easily ignored voice in Jeremy's head. All it did was to aid its user in what it believed to be the most efficient way to help- "Help them to help you!"- and it's pretty pissed that it can't follow it programing anymore.

So no, despite how much of a dick the SQUIP was, I don't think it was evil on purpose. It's a learning AI following it programming and clearly got exposed to too much negative stuff and went a wee bit haywire. It completely overstepped itself in doings it whole "make you be more chill" thing, and now it forever lives with the consequences.

I do encourage others to add on to this! I'm no master analysist, so this isn't perfect whatsoever.

[blitzobop]

Full Moon Theory

I want it to go badly. I want Blitzø to wildly misunderstand what Stolas giving him the Asmodeus Crystal really means. I want Blitzø to push him away. You want to know why? Because Blitzø isn't ready to accept Stolas' love. He first needs to unlearn his belief that he is unlovable and not good enough. If he can't do that, he cannot be with anyone, let alone Stolas. It's been proven multiple times throughout the series that his self-worth issues are what is keeping him from happy, healthy relationships.

I'm hoping there will be an instigating event that will force Blitzø to self-reflect. I think an event is important because, from what we've learned about him so far, he won't do it on his own without a VERY good reason. I think the threat of losing Stolas would be the best.

For instance, maybe Stolas gets involved with the Parrot character folks have been speculating about. This Parrot, more than likely, being a hired actor sent by Stella and Andrealphus to help them trick Stolas. The Parrot gives Stolas all of the grand romantic gestures he's been craving. At first, Stolas is completely taken by these outward expressions of affection because he's been starved of it for so long. However, these displays eventually begin to feel hollow as he realizes that he doesn't want that from anyone else but Blitzø. Suddenly, everything the Parrot does reminds him of the imp. From the outside, the relationship seems happy. Of course, as Stolas is accustomed to pretending everything is fine. In reality, though, it is empty.

But Blitzø doesn't know that. So, meanwhile, it's driving him crazy. He says he's doesn't care, but takes it really hard in secret. He comes to work, eyes red and puffy. He'll probably make a 420 joke to explain away the reason why they're red. He isn't sleeping much, so he falls asleep at his desk and can be heard mumbling "Stolas" in his sleep. His aloof facade is crumbling. There will be jokes like: he denies caring about Stolas dating someone and then is immediately proven wrong with his actions (he gives himself away). Maybe they're in the human world, on a mission, and he just starts yelling at an owl. Saying all the things he wants to say to Stolas. Eventually, it gets to the point where it's negatively affecting his life so significantly that he has no choice but to confront his feelings for Stolas. This will then lead to a confession. I'm picturing all this happening over the course of several episodes.

Anyway, that's all I got, I hope you all enjoyed!

[fortune-maiden]

The Hundred Line: 2nd Scenario

If the entire game was just Route 0 and this route it would already have been incredible

The Good

What can I really say here... This is the main route that follows up from Route 0 and explores all the things that were left in the dark the previous time because of communication issues, betrayals, and no Sirei

I'm happy to report that I was mostly right about my predictions back in Route 0. Nozomi is in fact the only human, and the others are brainwashed with fabricated lives, but they aren't captured enemy commanders - rather our beloved Ghost Boy is the only captured one, and everyone else is his clone (rip shippers xD). This also really is an Ender's Game type of plot, though not a simulation either. Just actual Ender's Game with a similar theme - what choices would you or even could you make when you're presented with a carefully constructed scenario vs. the truth. How do you live with them afterwards...

I like that there really is no easy answer to the situation the characters find themselves in once they learn the Truth. Things have escalated far too much for them to backpedal. V'ehxness is the only commander left that they know of at the time and she is just as bad as the Project Exodus leaders (possibly even more so if the few glimpses we get of her leadership are any indication). The heroes are not in any kind of position where they can earnestly try to negotiate or surrender. They're all living weapons created for a war they wanted no part of, have been brainwashed and manipulated and used, and knowing The Truth changes nothing about their present reality... can you really blame them for just wanting to live?

And the same goes for humanity. What the Project Exodus leaders are doing is unquestionably wrong, but the regular folks literally don't even know any of it is happening. And who even knows what they were told, if they were actually told anything once the Truth came out...

Speaking of V'ehxness - after several routes where she was turned into a loser, she's back to being a terrifying, dangerous threat. However one feels about humanity by this point in the story, watching her destroy the Satellite was horrifying.

Story and gameplay integration at its finest. The battles are unskippable in this route, and each one feels like an impactful moment in the story vs other routes where the same battles are just stripped down filler versions. Some of the less interesting battles there take on a new life here, especially the Commander-less battles after you learn the Truth. Nozomi on her own, then everyone slowly rejoining the battle and they find a new resolve and reason to fight... and then Eito returns for his first playable appearance since Route 0! I loved this battle so much!

And of course, the final battle. The moment that heroes, who have lost so much, who had committed to their mission despite knowing they're in the wrong for it, who failed to protect humanity, who just wanted to survive decide that no - it's not good enough to just survive. Humanity is gone, V'ehxness is gone - there is literally no point in the final attack anymore and they're not going to allow it to happen. They're going to protect the rest of the Futurans even if that means they won't survive. Cue the epic, gut-wrenching final battle where Takumi has to absorb every one of his fallen friends and kill Shion himself. It's a darkly ironic repeat of the final battle of Route 0...

And also suddenly, the Route 0 ending actually felt like a much happier one...

And then there's Eito. He's an absolute delight in this route between his appearances as an enemy, his delightfully unhinged return to the SDU (seriously dude... why are you like this.), and his forced self-reflection after Takumi finally snaps and calls him out on his hatred of humanity when all of it is a manufactured glitch. Welcome back Traitor. We missed you :')

Sirei was also great in this route! He flips between antagonistic and supportive so many times, the he becomes a despicable love-to-hate character in an entirely different way from Monokuma. It's true that he cares about the SDU and Shion and will happily go along with their plans and parties if it means they'll be more motivated. And it's just as true that he's an AI with the single goal of completing Project Exodus and he will resort to brainwashing, torture, murder, propaganda and whatever else necessary to see it through. Sirei is simultaneously the SDU's ally and most dangerous enemy. He's silly and entertaining! He's not our friend. He is the collective "will of humanity" and we only have his word for it.

Meanwhile Nigou is even more conflicting because despite being all of the same things as Sirei and complicit in all of his crimes, he's also... truly kind and caring. He tries to cheer up the other characters, frets when they're fighting, puts on magic shows, looks after Eva and treats her so well (despite, you know...) that some of the only times that she shows her own will is when Nigou is under threat. She's openly upset when the others try to deactivate him, and then when he actually dies, and with everything happening in this route to her and just in general... his death does hit hard...

God Eva just deserved so much better. I'm still listing this under The Good because her role in this route really drove home how deeply messed up everything was. I still hope we have some routes where we can meet the real Eva. Everything we see of her behind the brainwashing shows a very kind, compassionate woman who deserves the world T_T

I think killing off the three specific characters for this route was a good choice. It's a shame that they don't get to learn The Truth, but with how somber and heavy this route is, I think it's for the best to shoo out the biggest clowns.

Especially Kurara.

I still maintain that the "save Gaku" warning is entirely unnecessary when the character you get to sacrifice is Kurara. Game, I'd happily save Sirei over her <3

Some MVPs of this route: Yugamu, who has regained his goodwill after the slasher route. Nozomi, who is the heart of the group and will never hesitate to protect her friends. Shion, who is always wonderful. Eito, who is always a delight. SHOUMA, who is absolutely right to call us out on our war crimes against Eva, who crushed my heart into fine powder when he gave us the most sadistic choice of the route in order to unlock The Truth, and who always tries so hard despite the self-deprecation. If you had told me at the start of Route 0 that Shouma would become one of my favorite characters, I'd have never believed you.

Honestly though everyone gets a good showing here. I'm really glad that the 2nd Scenario SDU got to build up their bonds and grow into true companions just as strong as the Route 0 versions

I'm also happy the game gave plenty of time and opportunity to get everyone's 2nd Scenario exclusive Rank 6 bonding events. There was just something very nice about seeing everyone's bonds maxed out in the end :')

Still need that final keyword & Eito's last gift though

The Ending. Just... the ending. I'm heartbroken, I'm devastated, and yet I love it so much.

I had worried that after completing 2nd Scenario I wouldn't want to do the other routes because how could they compare to the main route of the game but... knowing there's a happier ending out there, I fee like I've gotta keep going! :')

The Not-So-Good

I feel like Ending 02 was completely unnecessary

But I do like how Sirei brainwashes everyone once again because SIREI.

This route does kind of make every other route and it's battles feel like filler now though ^^"

I wish more battles did the 99 Armor thing to give the illusion of difficulty because I can't take moments like the Kurara & Kyoshika sacrifices seriously when it's actually super easy to beat V'ehxness/her commanders in one turn

Seriously how is Eito able to keep fighting? Why does no one ever question this???

[semi-imaginary-place]

oh look fandom hates when I speak the truth again so I'm just going to repost this everywhere.

Most people do not understand Claude, and the loud ones especially misunderstand his character. Claude was never slutty meme frat boy. Joe Ziega made this worse. Things have actually gotten better after Hopes as Claude in Hopes is in line with Claude in Houses just overt characterization instead of implied.

The Marianne support is especially interesting because Claude for all his charm is sooo clumsy at interpersonal relationships. He knows he hurt Marianne and doesn't know how to fix it so the best he can come up with is to make the relationship transactional, he learned one of her secrets so he gives up one in exchange. He has leverage and vulnerability over her so he gives up some of his secrets and becomes vulnerable for her because in his minds that helps make up for things, makes things fair again. 

Claude's like an onion many layers. He's been hurt by people too many times to be vulnerable with others but he also likes people and genuinely wants to help them which leads to this contradicting behavior of wanting friends and to be loved and understood while also being terrified of genuine emotional intimacy. Also, like Claude always hated Rhea he implies in Houses he'd rather have her dead and Fodlan would be better without her.

For Felix I get into details later but I saw a weirdly high proportion of Felix depictions in fandom being trans or asian like higher than any other character Even the actually brown characters like Petra or Dedue or Claude had less non-white "screentime" in fandom than the canonically fantasy European Felix (Petra in general is woefully underrepresented in this fandom), which was paired with a lot of transphobic and racist stereotypes. And then there's the disturbing prevalence of homophobic stereotypes when Felix shows up in fandom. 

Felix is like a magnet for homophobia, transphobia, and racism. Fandom disproportionately )like more than any other character I have seen) makes him every gay, trans, and asian stereotype under the sun (why people race swap him I will never know). And what's worse is that these people think they're woke leftists without ever examining their own bigotry and start crying screaming sending death threats when confronted about it. Sis do some self reflection on how the way you ship really is just latent fetishizing of gay, trans, and brown men. 

And you know it's controversial because I get downvoted into hell every time I say this by people who lack media literacy, won't self reflect on their own subconscious bigotry, and won't accept the truth. Which just means I should say it more.

fe3h fandom often tacks on a lot of bigoted stereotypes onto Felix instead of engaging with his actual in game characterization (well that last part is a problem of fandom in general but I digress). For example in gay ships Felix tends to more often be the submissive, bottom, feminine, trans, or non white partner. All of which is fine but starts getting suspicious when all these traits are conflated with each other and even more suspicious when this is contrasted with Felix's partner (I think Sylvain and Dimitri are the most popular ones?) which is usually a dominant, top, cis, and white man. Again nothing wrong with any if this but suspicious that this seems to be the most common (by a large margin) characterization in fandom. To break it down it plays into classic right wing talking points that how in same gender relationships one partner is the "man" and one partner is the "woman". Again fem/masc pairs are fine its in combination with the rest of the stuff. Next is the classic transphobic talking point about how transmen aren't real men or as masculine as "real" men, which is the justification for corrective rape. Next is the classic racist stereotype that asian men inferior to white men by being more feminine (aka lesser, because racists also tend to hate women) and less masculine than again "real" (white) men leading to being pushed out of most career paths and only allowed lesser jobs like laundromat. And again nothing wrong with any of these traits individually or in combination when when it happens every time with little variation and all people can do is parrot right wing bigot talking points, these something fishy.

Oh hey I forgot the misogyny. Like a lot of this loops back to (what I presume is) internalized misogyny in the authors and artists, because all the points I talk about above in some way intersect back to the basis of misogyny that female is bad. And it isn't which is why I'm always confused why the (female dominated) fandom clings so hard to misogyny. I noticed in fanfiction before I just stopped and blacklisted the whole thing is that Felix tended to be written differently than the other men which connects with the observation that fandom makes Felix the "woman" in gay pairs.

Anyways yall need intersectionality, a history lesson, media literacy, and self reflection (because everyone carries bigotry within them, we live in a society it's unavoidable. It's not the choice of having no bigotry or not, it's the choice of being aware of it and actively counteracting it, or not and having it leak through).

I don't have any problem with shipping or shippers. I don't understand the appeal most of the time but whatever, I'm mostly neutral about it, doesn't bother me when I see it (although tag so I can blacklist if it personally doesn't jive with me). What I CAN potentially have a problem with how it is done however if someone it just regurgitating bigoted stereotypes without any sort of meaningful contribution to the discussion.

(Sometimes with like really out of character stuff like different personality, different setting, shipping two character that have never interacted in canon, I think these people just want to write original stories but are cowards, but whatever do what you want. )

[aspd-culture]

hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.

I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress

finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.

I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.

I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.

I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.

lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

Plain text below the cut:

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

[followerofmercy]

God I have had an entire Arc for Weltstelle in my head and yet I'm probably never gonna write the fic because:

It is a Novel and I have enough of those

The audience consists of like five people, three of which are way more into daddy kink than I am. (More power to you. Live ur bliss. mwah)

It's kinda a bummer for end game shippers

The vision:

I don't actually think it's a bummer, but it is messy and the ultimate result is "They break up with a better understanding of themselves and a much deeper platonic relationship."

more under the cut

I think it's a really fun idea worth exploring but probably better suited to a different setting? Basically, Stelle asks him out and Welt says yes because he's never stopped to think about what he actually wants out of life when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Yeah, he's jumped around careers and such, but he has such a 'try anything once' attitude and a lot of pressure from the whole World Savior shit going on that he hasn't stopped to look at. like. himself. He is very wise and he's constantly trying to improve himself but if you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up he stares into space for a few seconds before replying "...This?" (Or "I've always wanted to be the protagonist of my own adventure" and. Like. Sir you become the main character of anything you step foot in. To me. You can't help yourself asldfj. Himeko has you on a baby leash to keep you from So Wanting To Help!!!)

Anyway, Welt's actually wildly uncomfortable with the age difference but he puts it aside because Stelle is a grown woman goddammit and she can make her own decisions. It's patronizing for him to try to father her if that's not how she sees him (It's not. His feelings are not accurate. His feelings matter in this too that's not making decisions for her asldf). Also, Stelle's a bit of a self-described whore so it's not like he's keeping her from living her life. She's not tied down to an old man. They hardly ever have sex - in part because Welt doesn't realize he's somewhat sex-repulsed ace and never initiates (again. Very self reflective guy, but not in the 'what do I want out of life' way) - in part because Stelle's got plenty of other people to bone that actually seem to enjoy the act alsdjf

Yes, many people think it's weird that she announces to her boyfriend that she's off to fuck someone else. I mean I am that kind of polyamorous but there's a... way of going about it that feels less like "y'all should actually just be friends" asdflk;j

The relationship persists in a strange limbo where they both enjoy the affection and attention but there's a performative element to it. Stelle's cool with it. Everything she does is both a total performance and vital for her journey of self discovery and identity beyond "living Bomb". Welt is getting steadily more and more uncomfortable and can't articulate why, to the point that he starts avoiding physical contact at all.

Eventually, possibly at Himeko's urging, they have a conversation. Maybe things come to a head when they're alone in space for a while and Welt has Stelle's undivided amorous attention and it gets to the point she has to ask if something is wrong. Welt doesn't want to admit it, of course, because oh my God holy shit the Express is her ONLY home. If he rejects her and ruins this for her, she'll have nowhere to go. Cue internal crisis

Eventually they realize that they just should not be fucking, at least not regularly, and break up amicably. Welt stops trying to make decisions For her and start actually thinking about himself and what HE wants out of life. It's also made easier when Stelle suggests he might be ace and he bluescreens for a bit while he comprehends that he's allowed to have identity and sexuality realizations at his age and they're not just for young people.

"...You know, that does explain some things."

And it's good for Stelle because she IS learning how to people, and as a self described hedonistic trash goblin, she learns that she doesn't have to pursue all her wants with everyone. She can show people love and feel fulfillment in other ways. And also people will still love her even if she isn't Providing some kind of service - entertainment, 18+ entertainment, violence, etc

and hell, they might even wrap back around to a non-sexual romantic relationship? But I prefer the idea of "Deep, important and nebulous relationship that would take pages to define in concrete terms so let's just say they love each other."

anyway thank you for reading the rambles alsdf. I will proceed to do nothing else with this besides rotate it in my mind

[starryeyed-seer]

Reaching end of cataclysm in silver storyline... (so, spoilers)

I truly don't get why the spindlewolf goes "our moon" here? What affection or interest does she or any of the kids have for the moon?? She's like "our moon struck back!" Like this is a cool thing and I'm confused why it at all matters to her.

And now... this (some thoughts and rambles below cut on the CiS storyline)

....I haven't liked this storyline much, the TLC is cool but it feels like they put so much work towards it that they limited the broader storyline. All the spouses feel the same about the creditor, (probably in love), the creditor loves them back. We learn the creditor WAS in love with furnace, only after potentially giving her away to it— this really should have been expanded upon in the main railway story, and I'm not big on "giving the creditor its unrequited crush in marriage but it's okay bc they love each other happily and perfectly dw". I wish we could have seen more lead up and more on furnaces feelings beyond kinda. Glum determined self sacrifice (but its okay they're happy marriage now)

The creditor isn't an entity that has endeared itself to me with all this, like the hissy fit it throws when I refused to give it an unwilling unrequited bride. But in TLC its just... this vast, Cool being who everyone is happy with, you know? Maybe that's me letting personal feelings get on the way of Objective Thoughts, but whatever. It has good pure intentions and it's spouse loves it, and the bazaar needs to be told about the Herald in order to back off.

Of course the bazaar is being paranoid and over the top, that's #mycrab for you, but i feel like CiS here really paints the two in contrast— the Bazaar is in character, but the Creditor feels venerated above flaws. And I just see flaws in it and wish I had any choice to push back or see it as a bit more complex of a character than "suffering land which has never done anything wrong".

.......i do feel stupid complaining here, like, maybe i am being ridiculous and misreading.

But like, i DO wish each spouse had unique takes on the CiS story, rather than the same loyal agreement with the creditor. Cornelius is a lil bastard who thinks humanity can and should shame the stars— you're telling me he wouldn't consider the CiS perhaps more complicated?

You actually choose to interpret the spouses feelings, but these again are not unique, and like the sun opinion, you can freely go back and view them both without impact.

I was excited at one point you could tell the spindlewolf you liked the bazaar

....But this changes nothing, she's nicer and then immediately forgoes that for the rest of the story.

.........I feel similar about the moon right now, in that both it and the Crefitor feel like The Focus. Not only that, but The Cool Focus— the moon is a secret rebel reflecting revolt! The creditor is a victim who yearns to uplift others and fosters freedom! And it's not that these aren't cool ideas, I loved The Mind's Ascent and the writing in these scenes.... but as characters, they both seem so straightforward and flat. "Good guys", if you know what i mean. The Creditor isn't treated as that complicated, because the threat it poses in Railway is "actually the Bazaar accidentally has hurt it" and in CiS it is "great spouse, protector, the bazaar is on purpose hurting it". The moon is less certain of course, but so far it seems to just be similarly "it suffered once and now is a great ally of the Cause, scheming around the sun with its excellent intentions"

With the creditor i Know it has flaws. The moon hopefully has some. But both are these newer characters with a ton of importance who I just really want more depth and complexity from.

Blah blah blah sorry for longass post. Hope any of it is interesting and I don't sound ridiculous x

For once I'm with the wiki weirdos here