#i love kim taehyung ^^ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

honeytae · 3 months ago

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synopsis: what happens when your relationship falls apart, and the connection you’ve been missing has been right in front of you all along? based off the song call me when you break up by selena gomez, benny blanco, and gracie abrams.

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 2.4k

warnings: mc has sm anxiety in the beginning, SO MUCH YEARNING, breakup scene, friendship tension & mixed signals between besties, confessions, K I S S I N G!

the apartment feels too quiet, the humming of the refrigerator only momentarily breaking the stillness. you sit on the couch, stretching your leg into the late afternoon sunlight spilling across the floor, but it doesn't feel warm.

you can hear your boyfriend shuffling into the room, his footsteps faint but familiar. you know him so well, and yet, in this moment, you feel like you're on opposite sides of an invisible wall. it's the little things—the way your conversations have become one-sided, the way his laugh no longer feels like home.

you’ve been meaning to talk to him, but the words keep getting stuck in your throat. it's strange, really, how everything in your life can feel so right on the surface and yet... nothing seems to fit anymore.

it wasn’t supposed to be this way, but here you are. sitting across from the person who’s supposed to mean everything to you, feeling disconnected. you shift your gaze to glance at your boyfriend, his eyes focused on his phone, and the emptiness inside you deepens.

how did it get to this?

you can’t even remember when things started to feel... off. maybe it was a few months ago when you started noticing how your conversations with him—taehyung—felt more real, more alive than anything you shared with your boyfriend.

you glance at your phone, hoping to see a message notifcation from tae. when you open your text conversation, you note that the last time you received a text from him was over a week ago. you sigh, tossing your phone across the sofa in frustration.

taehyung’s presence decreased in your life when you both started dating other people. despite your constant reassurances, your partners were never fond of how close you were to him, and vice versa.

tae had broken up with his ex a few months ago, but was still keeping his distance. you imagine it’s to be respectful of your relationship, but you’d be lying if you said you don’t miss him.

your heart stops as your boyfriend looks up at you, then at the quiet space between you both. you can feel it now—the unspoken distance. it’s there, heavy in the air, thick like smoke that’s hard to clear.

“you good?” he says, his voice low. it’s almost like a question he’s afraid to ask, as if he already knows the answer.

you swallow hard, the weight of the words you’re about to say pressing down on your chest. it's been coming for a while, and now you can't pretend any longer. the distance, the silence—it’s all too much to ignore.

“i’ve been thinking,” you begin, your voice shaky as you try to make sense of what’s in your head. “i think we need to talk.”

he looks at you, his expression shifting just slightly. he’s not angry—not yet—but there's something that tightens in his eyes. he’s bracing himself, but you can tell he didn’t expect this.

“i’ve been distant,” you continue, the words falling out in a rush. “and i can’t keep pretending like i’m not. i don’t know how to fix it, and i don’t even think i want to. i’m not sure how we got here, but i... i can’t keep living in this place where we’re both holding on to something that’s slipping away.”

there’s a long silence after that. he doesn’t say anything right away, just looks at you, his eyes searching yours. it’s almost as if he’s waiting for you to say something more—something that will make it all better.

but there’s nothing else to say.

finally, he exhales, a long breath that feels heavier than it should. “i thought something was off,” he says, his voice quieter now. “but i didn’t want to push it. i kept telling myself it would get better, that we’d figure it out.”

your heart aches at the words, but you know they’re true. you haven’t been there for him in the way he deserves.

“i’m sorry,” you say, the words feeling too small to express everything you want to say. “i should’ve said something sooner. i should’ve been honest.”

he shrugs, looking away for a moment before meeting your gaze again. “it’s not your fault,” he mutters, but his words don’t offer any comfort. “it’s just... we’ve both been somewhere else for a while now, and i don’t know how to reach you anymore.”

the truth hits you in a way you weren’t ready for. you feel the sting of it—because you’ve been avoiding it for so long. the truth is, you’ve already checked out. you just didn’t have the courage to face it until now.

“i’m sorry,” you say again, but this time, it doesn’t feel any easier.

he leans back slightly, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the conversation is settling on him too. “so... that’s it, then? this is what you want?”

you want to say something else, but you can’t. you’re not sure what else there is to say. you’re not even sure what you want. the feeling of being stuck has drained you, and now, with the reality of it staring you in the face, you realize you’ve already been gone for so long.

“i think... yeah,” you finally say, your voice quieter than you expect.

there’s a beat of silence where neither of you moves. you know it’s over, but you don’t know exactly how to close the door on something that was once so real.

“that taehyung must’ve got in your ear good, huh?”

the words cause heat to wash over your whole body, eyebrows furrowing in anger. you instantly go on the defense, like you always do when he tries to put tae down.

“what the fuck was that?” you ask, your voice shifting from your previous soft tone into an icier one.

“nevermind,” he raises his hands in surrender, and you pin him to the couch with your harsh glare.

thankfully, he doesn’t dare to say anything else.

you’re pissed, but knowing he’s not worth another fight, you get up to pack your things and let yourself out of his place without another word.

since the breakup, you’ve figured out the logistics and had your space to think, but nothing seems to fit right. you’ve stayed busy, tried to move on, but the emptiness lingers. you know you can’t keep pretending to be okay when you’re not.

and, if you’re honest with yourself, you miss taehyung. his absence feels like the one thing you haven’t been able to ignore.

it’s late when the sound of a knock at your door catches you off guard. you glance up from your social media doom-scrolling, frowning slightly.

you pull yourself up from the couch and move to answer it, your heart quickening in anticipation. when you open the door, you don’t expect to see him standing there—tae, looking like he just stepped out of your daydream.

“hey,” he says, his voice light but warm, though there’s a subtle vulnerability in his eyes that you don’t remember seeing before. “can i come in?”

you blink, surprised but not unwelcome. “uh, yeah... sure. of course,” you manage, stepping aside to allow him space in your small foyer.

tae steps inside, his damp jacket hanging off his shoulders, and you realize it’s still raining lightly outside. his presence fills the space, comfortable and familiar.

“so... this is where you’ve been hiding,” he says, his tone teasing as he glances directly at the copious amount of blankets bundled up on the sofa in your living room. “or nesting, i guess.”

you chuckle a little, a sound that feels foreign but nice. it’s been a while since you’ve laughed at anything. “yeah, whatever,” you retort, half-smiling. “how about you? you been doing okay?”

tae shrugs, a half-grin on his face. “i mean, i’ve survived. but i’ve definitely missed you.”

you raise an eyebrow, surprised by the honesty in his words. it’s as if he’s picking up on the fact that you’ve both been circling around something, and now, in this moment, it’s easy to bring it up.

“well, you were the one who pulled away, remember?” you try to joke, but it’s strained.

tae’s eyes drop to the floor for a moment, guilt flashing in his gaze. “i know,” he says quietly, then meets your eyes. “i just... didn’t want to make things more complicated.”

you take a breath, the words already tumbling out before you can stop them. “i could’ve used some company, you know. we broke up.”

taehyung’s eyes go wide, almost comically so. his neck moves forward, eyes hardening as he assesses the situation in a totally different light.

“he broke up with you? what the actual fu-”

“no, i broke up with him,” you cut him off before he can spiral any further, but the words feel strange. like they don’t belong in the same sentence as him. “a few weeks ago, actually.”

tae blinks, surprised, and steps closer, his hand instinctively reaching for yours. “you did? what happened?”

you can hear the concern in his voice, but there’s something else too. something almost like relief, like he’s been waiting for you to say it.

“i don’t know. it didn’t feel right,” you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “i couldn’t keep pretending, tae. not to him, and not to myself.”

he’s quiet for a moment, letting your words sink in. you can see the soft flicker of understanding in his eyes, and for once, you don’t feel like you have to explain it at all.

finally, he steps forward and wraps you in a hug. it’s not tight, but it’s everything you need in that moment—comfort, acceptance, and, above all, understanding. he doesn’t say anything for a while, but when he pulls away, his gaze softens. “i’m sorry you had to do that. i know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

you nod, the weight of it all crashing down now that you’ve finally said it out loud. “i think i was just scared. of choosing the wrong thing. of making the wrong decision. i don’t know,” you trail off, shrugging your shoulder in defeat.

tae’s fingers brush against your cheek, and you can feel the warmth of his touch, grounding you. “you don’t have to worry about that now,” he pauses, his voice becoming quieter, almost tender. “you’re here. that’s what matters.”

you meet his eyes, and for a moment, the world feels like it’s paused—like it’s just the two of you. you can feel the shift happening. the space between you both feels smaller now.

you take a breath, your voice low. “i missed you so much, tae.”

the words slip out, vulnerable and raw.

he smiles softly, his hand moving to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “i missed you too,” he says quietly. “more than you know.”

you smile, casting your gaze over to the couch in your living room. you grasp his hand, pulling him beyond the foyer and back to your couch. “c’mon.”

“you’re inviting me into your fort?” he teases, following your lead, although he knows your apartment like the back of his hand.

you roll your eyes at him as you both settle into the sofa, falling into a comfortable silence. it’s not awkward. it’s the kind of quiet that’s been long overdue.

neither of you is rushing to fill the space, but there's a palpable shift in the air—something deeper than just friendship, but neither of you is ready to call it out yet.

“i’ve been thinking about what you said before,” you say after a beat, voice soft but honest. “about giving me space.”

tae looks at you, his gaze intense, but there’s something comforting in it. “yeah?” he says quietly, though there’s an undercurrent of hope in his tone. “and?”

you can feel your chest tighten as you take a breath, trying to gather the courage. there’s a heaviness in the air, but it’s not just the weight of silence. it’s the weight of the truth, lingering between you both, waiting to be acknowledged.

“i don’t want that,” you say quietly, breaking the silence, your voice softer than you intended. “i miss us, tae.”

he doesn’t say anything right away. he just glances at you with that look, the one that’s always made your heart skip. “i know,” he says after a beat, his voice low and calm. “me too.”

you swallow, suddenly feeling vulnerable, like you’ve just exposed a part of yourself you didn’t mean to. you want to look away, but you don’t. you hold his gaze, and for the first time, you realize how much you’ve been holding back.

“i’m sorry,” you say, suddenly overwhelmed by the gravity of everything. “i’m sorry for letting it get this far without saying anything.”

tae shakes his head, a small, bittersweet smile pulling at his lips. “there’s no need to apologize.” he looks at you, his gaze steady. “we both knew, didn’t we? it was just... easier not to face it.”

you close your eyes for a moment, your chest tight with everything you’ve been holding in. but now, in this space, with him sitting right in front of you, you realize there’s no point in running anymore. it’s here. it’s real.

when you open your eyes again, you can see it in his. the way he’s looking at you now—soft, vulnerable, and completely open.

his lips are close to yours, but neither of you moves just yet. it’s like time is standing still, giving you both a chance to breathe, to let the words you’ve been avoiding finally come to light.

“you’re really sure?” he asks, his deep voice thrumming right through you.

you nod, humming your affirmation as your eyes try to memorize each detail of his face.

and then, it happens. without another word, you close the distance.

his lips find yours gently, almost hesitantly at first, like he’s afraid you’ll pull away. but you don’t. instead, you melt into the kiss, the warmth between you growing, soft and steady, like everything is finally falling into place.

when you pull away, your breaths are shallow, but there’s no more fear, no more uncertainty. there’s only peace. a quiet understanding that this moment, this feeling, has been waiting for both of you to acknowledge it.

“maybe we should have done that sooner,” you whisper, a half-laugh escaping your lips.

tae chuckles, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “maybe,” he agrees softly. “but it’s not too late, is it?”

“definitely not,” you smile, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

auther’s note: i hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it, although the breakup scene almost took me out entirely (it has been close to a decade since i broke up with someone so it was extremely difficult to tap back into that ancient history!)

this is the first installment of the i said i love you first series. i am so excited to share this universe with you all <3