#i need this. medically. or something

[crow-caller]

i get stuck in longass 'podcast i listen to late at night' loops and im proud (???) to say after like. months of only being stuck on relistening to 372 pages. im back on my mcelroy saga. starting from like episode 300 or so. maybe ill even make it to modern times. maybe not.

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)

[catboybiologist]

By now, there's lots of people have heard about the internal CDC memos for all newly prepared manuscripts (like future scientific papers waiting to be published):

There's so much to comment on, and I'm seeing it all right now. What the state of science is. What this means for the queer community. All of that.

But fuck, I think I might genuinely start crying over this. As a transgender biologist, this feels like a brutally personal blow. I slowly accepted my gender alongside my biology education. The more misinformation that was spewed about "biological sex" by mainstream media, the more my professors, colleagues, and primary sources would casually drop information that proved they have no idea what they're talking about. I'm not an expert on sex determination, gender, or transgender biology specifically by any means. But my worldview has been crafted by my studies in genetics and molecular biology.

Engaging with this research helped me demystify transition. It helped me optimize my transition. It helped me explain how HRT and other steps of trans healthcare work to other people. And it helped me overcome my own internalized transphobia, and finally start transitioning, despite knowing I wanted to since my preteen years.

Who knows how enforceable internal guidelines like this will be. But its certainly going to scare a lot of researchers away from transgender healthcare and science in the coming years, and that breaks my heart.

There's a lot I can say here, but fuck. I just needed to vent for a moment. Fuck.

[collapsethevillain]

More silly sketches and unserious art cause I finished more artworks from my “work list” and I needed to draw him(them) to rest ✨

They’re very precious to me

And solo Knockout stuff:

[weepingalaxy]

if jeremy and michael knew each other, don't you think the bites would feel rather similar?

[laser-tripwires]

really appreciate the full canon confirmation of the likely reason that eliot has dated so many doctors and nurses. aka he keeps meeting people in the ER. it's great.

[lockandkeyblade]

Not so Fun Anymore

Gotham is good for a lot of reasons. Excessive amounts of death leading to a lot of ambient ectoplasm, a (mostly) quiet ghost population, and enough problems that Danny could have his slice of the Obsession with protection cake and eat it, too.

There's also Red Hood.

He's not exactly sure what the man is yet. Excessively Liminal or Revenant or some kind of halfa, but that is, admittedly, part of the attraction. Red Hood finds him when he's flying close to the roof tops of Crime Alley-- one moment Phantom is flying through the air, the next there's a hand around his wrist that slams him down into the concrete. Pinning him beneath a body that's got more bulk than his little undead body will ever have.

And... he's a halfa. In that moment, he is strictly more ghost than human, and what Red Hood just did? It's an invitation. An open house opportunity to have some tussles, communicate with the undead like he's used to. So he phases out from underneath the man, chuckling quietly to himself, and pins him right back.

This escalates. This escalates drastically.

Because Red Hood seems to have it out for him now. It takes Phantom far too long to realize that they aren't playing the same game, and by the time he does the Not A Game has culminated into being shot at and grabbed and pinned down the second Red Hood registers him in the vicinity.

He doesn't mind that part. He doesn't mind being held down with another man panting heavily into his ear, and he doesn't think Red Hood is protesting that, either.

But Red Hood seems to find him no matter where he is, these days. And it's still escalating. They're starting to fall off rooftops, several storeys at a time. And though the bullets are honestly useless, there's something... not good, when Red Hood solely aims for places that would likely down a human and stop them from getting back up.

It starts to become worrying. Then, it stops being fun. It stops being fun the day Red Hood comes across him in his human form.

At least he genuinely seems freaked out about the blood staining Danny's shirt, thanks to the bullet he just put in his shoulder.

[housecow]

seeing you outright mention you have death feedism tendencies is like a shotgun to the chest (positive)

i have a medical phobia that’s somehow twisted itself into death feedism ngl. also, evil feeders. 😳

someone hellbent on keeping me as fat as possible for as long as they can—knowing what cocktail of drugs keeps my heart pumping, dumbing me down and keeping me pliant with edibles hidden in my food, waking me up every few hours for feedings and funnel sessions instead of letting me sleep so the weight piles on faster than it should..

somewhere deep down i know it’s not good for me. maybe my feeder tells me about all the health problems i have while the feeding tube is in my mouth and i can barely think, but i can’t focus on what they’re saying without getting overwhelmed. if i don’t remember later, it doesn’t really matter, right?

maybe occasionally i’d “come to my senses,” during a lull in the feedings. when my feeder is busy and away for a while, after i’ve made my way through a small mountain of snacks and the mini fridge (full of shakes laced with THC to keep me docile) is just out of reach. maybe i’d try to get up, only to collapse back down because my knee problems finally caught up to me and fuck, it hurts to even try to walk. maybe then i’d finally take a look at where i am, how i’ve given up my life for someone’s (and my own, let’s be real) sick pleasure.

i’d have to deal with that realization for a while. maybe i’d start to cry, unable to handle the reality. eventually, though, my feeder would come back. they’d find me in this state and console me, getting the funnel ready because they can hear my stomach rumbling and it’s been too long since i’ve eaten. they’ll coo into my ear about how it’s all okay, how i asked for this and it’s what we both want.

they’d give my belly a shake, grasping the lowest roll in their hands and enjoying the way it makes my entire body wobble. they’d press a kiss onto the vast expanse of fat above my belly button, an area they were so excited to see expand under their care. they’d struggle a bit to lift one of my tits, eager to see how my breath hitches at the thought of their mouth on me. these are all distractions. they’ve mastered this game of manipulation and there’s no way i’d be able to find my way out of their control. their touch, the food they offer me, even those moments when i’m not high or in a haze of fullness and pleasure, were meant to further ensnare me and ensure i’m theirs for as long as i live.

my health, my life, is in my feeder’s hands. they know what’s best. as long as i keep eating, keep taking the pills they hand me, keep ignoring how hard it is to move and breathe, it will all be fine. or, that’s what i’d tell myself.

[leffee]

Some time has passed so I decided to update my Scout ships tier list (I still like them all)

I just

Mmmmm (sorry for shitty screencap, I tried my best). Like, sir??? You can't just show me a man bride carrying a smaller man and expect me to remain normal. I gotta tell you, I regret watching Jungle Inferno so late, cause fking look at them >.>.

Can you tell I like size difference as big as possible

Anyway, I need more Saxton x Scout

Also if polys where there heavymediscout would be right up there with heavyscout

[un-till-the-end]

All evidence Till survives (2/4)

Blink Gone Observations

1. Inconsistencies compared to previous rounds:

In every single one of these above, the image goes out quickly and then the winning contestant moves up the bracket.

Till is the only exception. His image doesn't go out until after Luka's image has moved into the winning spot and it visibly flickers before it does.

After Sua, Ivan, and even background characters died, they all had large pools of blood under them.

Till is the only one who does not.

2. Hiding his status from the audience

His heart-monitoring earpiece falling out which would tell if he is alive or dead as identified by @pixelifiedcation. @tillsfan recognized the teaser emphasized the earpieces are heart monitors, which, among other reasons, could be to direct fans to this detail.

@asteriass realized how the red spray paint at the bottom of Till's pants and the red soles of his shoes creates the illusion he bled out to the segyein audience. The platform is raised and the floor is reflective.

Unlike previous stages, which were surrounded by the audience on all sides, Round 7 can only be viewed from the front.

Till's leg and Mizi's arm obstruct the segyein's view of Till's actual injury.

Combined with the misdirection of Hyuna's presence, and the excitement over Luka's win, the segyein do not notice there is no pool of blood.

3. From a medical standpoint:

There's lots of different claims people have made, so I consulted my friend who is a medical resident. After laying out the details, he concluded Till's wound is most likely a tracheal injury - not arterial. If so, Till is coughing up blood that is draining into his lungs. My friend's main reasoning is the lack of pooling up blood. The wound still needs immediate medical attention though.

Based on the chart provided by @lost-fugue, this would fall into the orange region with a 50-15% chance of survival. It can be lethal but it should be treatable.

@verdantlights explained the animation team has been consistently accurate with portraying gunshot wounds.

That said, humans can survive virtually anything. They can live after being shot in the head, jumping off a high bridge, or skydiving without a working parachute. So there's no scenario in which his wound is "impossible" to survive.

Till's leg would have fallen down due to gravity since he would have no muscle tone (passive muscle contraction).

If his right foot was pinned under his left leg, then his leg could remain up even if he was dead. However, this is visual storytelling and it would be confusing, ineffective, and illogical for that to be the reason for the positioning of his leg.

Wiege Observations

The morse code at the start of the song spells out "ALIVE" as identified by @awaggaa. While this has the thematic meaning of what it means to be alive, it could also serve a literal meaning that Till is still alive.

@honeybeetlejuice informed there is a heartbeat at the end of Wiege. Compared to Cure, in which Till's heartbeat was speeding up while Ivan's was slow and steady, this heartbeat is faint with long pauses between each one.

Foreshadowing | Official Art & Symbolism | Criticisms & Commentary

[lovesickgoose]

I've been spicing up my medic gameplay by crossbowing snipers from across the map. I have discovered it really pisses them off and also makes them hunt you down

[positivelyadhd]

reminder that there's nothing wrong with needing medication to do things.

it doesn't make you any less than the people that do those same things without any medication.

taking medication has no moral value, it's about looking after yourself and your health and it's not fair of people to try and imply that there's anything "good" or "bad" about taking any sort of medication.

taking something that works for you and helps you feel better is never a bad thing.

[self-made-purgatories]

So it's Kirk's birthday but Spock has to work so Bones shows up at the door in these skintight hoochie cowboy pants with a bottle of really strong illegal liquor and hands Kirk a little pouch and Kirk's first question is whether the pouch contains Klingon aphrodisiacs like that's a perfectly normal thing Bones sometimes brings over and I'm not supposed to ship McKirk?

[nerdgirlnarrates]

Even though it's been months since I switched from neurosurgery to internal medicine, I still have a hard time not being angry about the training culture and particularly the sexism of neurosurgery. It wasn't the whole reason I switched, but truthfully it was a significant part of my decision.

I quickly got worn out by constantly being questioned over my family plans. Within minutes of meeting me, attendings and residents felt comfortable lecturing me on the difficulties of having children as a neurosurgeon. One attending even suggested I should ask my co-residents' permission before getting pregnant so as not to inconvenience them. I do not have children and have never indicated if I plan to have any. Truthfully, I do want children, but I would absolutely have foregone that to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than anything. But I was never asked: it was simply assumed that I would want to be a mother first. Purely because I'm a woman, my ambitions were constantly undermined, assumed to be lesser than those of my male peers. Women must want families, therefore women must be less committed. It was inconceivable that I might put my career first. It was impossible to disprove this assumption: what could I have done to demonstrate my commitment more than what I had already done by leading the interest group, taking a research year, doing a sub-I? My interest in neurosurgery would never be viewed the same way my male peers' was, no matter what I did. I would never be viewed as a neurosurgeon in the same way my male peers would be, because I, first and foremost, would be a mother. It turns out women don't even need to have children to be a mother: it is what you essentially are. You can't be allowed to pursue things that might interfere with your potential motherhood.

Furthermore, you are not trusted to know your own ambitions or what might interfere with your motherhood. I am an adult woman who has gone to medical school: I am well aware of what is required in reproduction, pregnancy, and residency, as much as one can be without experiencing it firsthand. And yet, it was always assumed that I had somehow shown up to a neurosurgery sub-I totally ignorant of the demands of the career and of pregnancy. I needed to be enlightened: always by men, often by childless men. Apparently, it was implausible that I could evaluate the situation on my own and come to a decision. I also couldn't be trusted to know what I wanted: if I said I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than a mother, I was immediately reassured I could still have a family (an interesting flip from the dire warnings issued not five minutes earlier in the conversation). People could not understand my point, which was that I didn't care. I couldn't mean that, because women are fundamentally mothers. I needed to be guided back to my true role.

Because everyone was so confident in their sexist assumptions that I was less committed, I was not offered the same training, guidance, or opportunities as the men. I didn't have projects thrown my way, I didn't get check-ins or advice on my application process, I didn't get opportunities in the OR that my male peers got, I didn't get taught. I once went two whole days on my sub-I without anyone saying a word to me. I would come to work, avoid the senior resident I was warned hated trainees, figure out which OR to go to on my own, scrub in, watch a surgery in complete silence without even the opportunity to cut a knot, then move to the next surgery. How could I possibly become a surgeon in that environment? And this is all to say nothing of the rape jokes, the advice that the best way for a woman to match is to be as hot as possible, listening to my attending advise the male med students on how to get laid, etc.

At a certain point, it became clear it would be incredibly difficult for me to become a neurosurgeon. I wouldn't get research or leadership opportunities, I wouldn't get teaching or feedback, I wouldn't get mentorship, and I wouldn't get respect. I would have to fight tooth and nail for every single piece of my training, and the prospect was just exhausting. Especially when I also really enjoyed internal medicine, where absolutely none of this was happening and I even had attendings telling me I would be good at it (something that didn't happen in neurosurgery until I quit).

I've been told I should get over this, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop being mad about how thoroughly sidelined I was for being female. I don't know how to stop being bitter that my intelligence, commitment, and work ethic meant so much less because I'm a woman. I know I made the right decision to switch to internal medicine, and it probably would have been the right decision even if there weren't all these issues with the culture of neurosurgery, but I'm still so angry about how it happened.

[nitewrighter]

Stuck in the "You fucked up" vortex. Admitted I fucked up. Physically working to figure out how to un-fuck things. Still, mentally, stuck in the "you fucked up" vortex.

[skunkes]

day 1 med dosage raise