#i need to be there for my rats and bf and everything

[natsswife]

I kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend if you dont mind<3

pairings: nat x fem!reader

summary: nat is head over heels and kinda obsessed w you but thinks you have a boyfriend:(( (u dont)

cw: nat hatesss your “boyfriend”, brief mention of alcohol and cigs, “cheating” on ur bf from nats pov

notes: just something silly a wrote in one sit while listening to after midnight by chappell<3 *starts blasting it*

men&cishet ppl dni ty

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆˚

༘⋆ obsessed!Nat who loves to sit next to you during classes everytime she has the opportunity and that ugly rat- i mean boyfriend of yours isnt near bothering and taking all of your attention, because these little moments are one her biggest opportunities to talk to you, gossip about anything and try to see if there's at least a small chance that you like girls???

༘⋆ obsessed!Nat whose favorite time of the week is when the team have soccer match because that means she can shower u with lots of compliments without sounding weird (so in love with you) cuz for her you're one of the best players in the team, and also take it as an opportunity to ask you for advices and why not? train together everyday after classes so nat can improve her game (pass more time with you) <33

༘⋆ obsessed!Nat who sometimes finds her obsession with you weird because how comes the most “i dont give a fuck abt anything” girl is now giving too much fuck about someone and is now tracking down that ugly boyfriend of yours to see if hes cheating or something so she can tell you and enjoy how you break w him on front of everyone, cuz that means she will a chance with you.

༘⋆ anddd obsessed!Nat who got bored of tracking him down because she now discovered a whole new level of nerd thanks to your ”boyfriend” she almost finished her packs of cigs and he was still stuck at the library reading and reading some boring shit and not talking to anyone, not even some girl that help her caught him red handed or something, but the real question is how can *you* the coolest girl ever, be with such a loser?? how did you never got bored of just hearing him yap about some nothingburger comic?? maybe that's why she never saw you kissing or closer with him, and thanks to that Nat now knows that you need some real fun and she’ll make sure she is the one making you have it, because Nat needs to steal you from that man who’s making u lose your time and be with someone who really loves you and that's her!!!!

༘⋆ so its all set up, during that party some random is gonna throw in a few days Nat's gonna confess her feelings, and she's confident, not because shes kinda obsessed with you and tired of waiting (she is) but also bc it never went unnoticed to her how sometimes you looked at her while she was writing something during class, it always made her sweat and fuck up whatever she was writing, but she never moved because you looking at her made her feel that god heard her non existent prayers and made her feel like she might have a chance? whatever mixed signals you were giving her had nat jumping full of joy mentally

༘⋆ and when the day comes, everyone’s wasted and as soon she spot you with Tai and Van, Nat takes her last shot of whatever deadly combination of drinks kevyn made for her bc for sure she will need some alcoholic encourage to express her love and how she capable of kissing the floor you walk.

༘⋆ she just takes you to a more "safe of men and that ugly rat you have as a bf" space and lets everything out in a kinda “im sorry doll dont hate me but you look way too gay to be with a man, especially that ONE” way while looking at your bf who is talking with jeff and his group (how did he managed to not get bullied by them? she doesnt know and doesnt care lowk)

༘⋆ Nat’s heart did a 180 backflip inside her chest when she saw your beautiful smile just got wider after her confession and a “oh my.. nat are you serious” from you made her sweat like she has been in a marathon, were you expecting this orr…

 “yeah why would a lie” she let a nervous giggle out and with that something she never expected happened

༘⋆ you just threw yourself into her arms?? and started kissing her??? It was a short, nervous but sweet kiss, both of you nervous as hell but Nat is now confused because why are you cheating on your rat in front of everyone??

༘⋆ but anygays would he mind if she kinda wanna kiss his girlfriend? again after she made the first move?

“NONONO HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND DUMBASS” you let that out almost yelling, do you really look that straight??

༘⋆ u couldnt even hide your excitement because you’ve been waiting for her to make the first move, since you were such a pussy to do that, especially in the toxic world you're all living but now who give a single fuck, the beautiful girl you have been crushing for ages, the one who isnt afraid of showing who she is, dont give a fuck about anything (she now do and thanks to you) is now confessing how much she loves you, and ofc you wont miss the opportunity to kiss her again and again and again, after all everyone is wasted right now.

༘⋆ Nat couldnt believe when you told her that he’s just your childhood friend who got recently transferred and thats why you were close, helping him adapt to the highschool and everything, nat now knows she kinda fucked up by calling him names, tracking him down and deliberately hating him but thats on another topic.

༘⋆ but what she REALLY can't believe is when you confessed that you liked her as well!!! 

“I dont know if it's maybe the moonlight who have horny powers, this moment or whatever but… wanna go to my house?” Nat just kissed you as an answer, she’s not gonna waste the opportunity to have you all for herself this night and is gonna make sure you wake up in her arms everyday by now<3

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆˚

Do not translate w/o permission, copy or use for AI training, train ur useless brain instead<3

[sar3nka]

I hate depending on meds but it is what it is I guess. At least I was strong this time and did not call da ambulance lol

[stealchain]

im kind of glad i dont have therapy today 😣

[astonmartinii]

the king of monza can do what he wants | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem alonso!reader

the king of monza can win the race, have his relationship exposed and challenge his soon-to-be father-in-law to a duel, he can do what he wants.

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

oscarpiastri

liked by olliebearman, danielricciardo and 432,095 others

tagged: lilyzneimer, yourusername, charles_leclerc

oscarpiastri: double header means we crashed on my adoptive parents' couch and forced them to cook for me (only y/n, obviously)

view all comments

user1: does he know this isn't his private account?

user2: SHUSH DON'T TELL HIM

user3: we need to enjoy this while it lasts

jackdoohan: oscar, there's still time to delete this

oscarpiastri: why would i delete this?

oscarpiastri: oh

oscarpiastri: oh no

jackdoohan: you might want to warn your kinda dad you've exposed the identity of your kinda mum as your kinda grandad is probably putting out a hit on him as we speak

fernandoalo_oficial: don't call me a grandad 👿🤬😡😠💢😤

jackdoohan: OSCAR QUICK HE'S DISCOVERED EMOJIS HE MUST BE REALLY MAD

user4: fernando, are you okay?

fernandoalo_oficial: i want that frenchies head on a stick

charles_leclerc: i am monegasque!

fernandoalo_oficial: so you do actually want to die?

yourusername: okay let's calm down old man

fernandoalo_oficial: SILENCE I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! THAT'S THE MAN?

yourusername: yes!

fernandoalo_oficial: no.

charles_leclerc: i object!

lancestroll: his eye hasn't stopped twitching since

charles_leclerc: i don't care! he might be crazy but I'M IN LOVE SO BRING IT OLD MAN

user5: wtf have i woken up to this morning

user6: the public execution of the prince of monaco

yourusername: just because he has a samurai tattoo doesn't mean he knows how to use a sword

fernandoalo_oficial: i will tear him apart with my bare hands

user7: i fear this comment section alone has undone all of his funky grandad tiktok PR

user8: he's going to make charles cry in the press conference

yourusername: oh well, charlie is hot when he cries

user9: and how do you know that...

yourusername: that's none of your business 😈

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 2,312,088 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: italy has my heart and so do you <3

view all comments

user11: queen got exposed and immediately started flexing her unbelievably sexy bf

yourusername: why wouldn't i? he's so damn FINE

charles_leclerc: teehee (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

user12: you might as well have told me to kill myself

fernandoalo_oficial: enjoy your weekend charles, it will be your last

charles_leclerc: and if i win? i think suspended sentence?

fernandoalo_oficial: @carlossainz55 i have a proposition for you

yourusername: why are we acting like he wouldn't do that for free

carlossainz55: excuse me?

yourusername: i'm calling you a jealous bitch xx

carlossainz55: what is your price nando?

fernandoalo_oficial: i'm not fucking paying you, i was assuming you'd do it in a jealous rage anyway

carlossainz55: ???

user13: the way carlos is being jumped from both sides unprovoked

user14: which ever alonso it is, they choose violence

oscarpiastri: so ... am i off the hook yet?

yourusername: you know we can't say no to you

fernandoalo_oficial: oscar you might actually be my favourite now, thank you for bringing this to my attention

oscarpiastri: sure i'll take it!

charles_leclerc: you can have my heart and everything else for as long as you want

yourusername: looks like you'll never get it back ;)

charles_leclerc: that's fine by me if i get to spend it with you

yourusername: i love you :P

charles_leclerc: i love you more ( > 〰 < )♡

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by jensonbutton, aussiegrit and 1,209,566 others

fernandoalo_oficial: cash prize for anyone who can actually track down this little rat - i just want to talk i swear

view all comments

user15: it's official everyone, he's gone crazy

user16: as crazy as he is at least he's bringing the DRAMA 🤩

yourusername: this isn't very peace and love of you

fernandoalo_oficial: that has never been the way in this family

fernandoalo_oficial: but let me make this clear, i mean in a destroy all of your enemies way rather than a jos verstappen way

maxverstappen1: ???

yourusername: destroying our enemies does not mean you can do your best jos verstappen impression and drive your aston martin into charles

fernandoalo_oficial: don't be stupid y/n, the aston martin is too slow, i'm going to steal his brakes

yourusername: and how will you do that boomer

fernandoalo_oficial: ferrari are stupid they probably still haven't changed the passwords or locks since i left

yourusername: @scuderiaferrari excuse me???

scuderiaferrari: ....

user17: so like this is a genuine hit?

user18: mob boss!fernando alonso you are so special to me

user19: sorry charles but it's so sexy

charles_leclerc: drop the address senor i'm not scared of you

lancestroll: he brought the samurai sword btw

yourusername: @f1 DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANY SECURITY MEASURES ???

f1: it made a good tiktok 👍

yourusername: you people are useless

charles_leclerc: no worries my love it's all under control

fernandoalo_oficial: i will carve you like a christmas turkey

yourusername: you go anywhere near charles with that sword we're both going romeo and juliet style

user20: what on earth is going on

user21: just smile and wave i think we're watching collective hysteria

f1

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 3,562,778 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

f1: CHARLES LECLERC WINS FOR FERRARI AT MONZA

view all comments

user23: bro heard fernando was gonna steal his brakes and simply just drove so fast he didn't need them

user24: he was like 'oh you want my head on a stick? TRY AND CATCH ME'

yourusername: pretty boy is so so talented it's not fair

yourusername: who am i kidding

yourusername: STUNT ON THOSE HOES I LOVE YOU BABY

charles_leclerc: thank you baby, i simply had to drive so fast so i could give you a kiss

charles_leclerc: and also so i could tell your dad to SUCK ON THAT OLD MAN

user25: he's had too much champagne and might actually get himself killed

user26: i will throw myself in front of that sword for him

yourusername: you and me too buddy - i'll cover your drinks for this evening

fernandoalo_oficial: i still want him dead

charles_leclerc: what the fuck do you want from me? i just won? did you see that freak of an orange car? i look after your daughter like i looked after those tyres

yourusername: so romantic 🤭

fernandoalo_oficial: he just compared you to tyres? have some standards i raised you better?

yourusername: believe me, i do have standards - he's special xx

fernandoalo_oficial: i also won monza with ferrari he's not that special

user27: at least he's stopped with the samurai sword talk?

user28: he did say he still wants him dead though

maxverstappen1: @yourusername why couldn't you have dated lando? would've made this championship a lot easier

landonorris: HUH?

yourusername: please refer to my previous comment about standards

charles_leclerc: hehehehehe

landonorris: HUH???

charles_leclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 4,523,099 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: grazie mille tifosi !! this is for you and all of your support. i'm glad my family and my love were here to see this win as well. fernando, bring your sword, i'll fight for your daughter's hand.

view all comments

user29: i love this family and i've known them a week

user30: fernando might have to go through me as well at this point

yourusername: i love you so much and you have deserved this and more for so so long xx

charles_leclerc: i couldn't do it without you (and our weird little grid family)

yourusername: you're my favourite person in the world and i just love to see you happy

charles_leclerc: you make me the happiest man in the world

yourusername: i love you

charles_leclerc: i love you too

user31: as cute as all this is ^^ where is this duel

user32: can someone PLEASE STREAM IT !!!!! I WILL PAY

user33: I NEED IT I NEED IT

fernandoalo_oficial: come outside

lancestroll: he spent all of the debrief sharpening the sword btw

charles_leclerc: i'm ready girlypop

fernandoalo_oficial: GIRLYPOP ???

yourusername: PEACE AND LOVE BOZO

maxverstappen1: can we get this show on the road please?

lewishamilton: charles please hurry up i've got some serious cash on this tussle

yourusername: how much we talking?

charles_leclerc: i might die and you're checking the wager?

yourusername: because i have faith in you !!!!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, fernandoalo_oficial and 2,136,344 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: he's alive and he's a winner! the king of monza can do what he wants

view all comments

user35: prince of monaco? king of monza? bro is collecting titles

yourusername: my husband next 🤞🏻

charles_leclerc: bet

user36: is ANYONE GOING TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED IN THE DUEL

georgerussell63: it was extremely unprofessional and there will be an extensive powerpoint covering how this won't happen again

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll fight you next time george

user37: don't go off TOPIC

charles_leclerc: i out strategised him lol

oscarpiastri: what he means is that he surprised fernando from behind and wouldn't stop hugging him until he agreed that he wouldn't skewer him like a kebab

charles_leclerc: and it worked! now look he's on my boat giving me his blessing

user38: you're telling me charles hugged his way out of the conflict?

user39: perhaps the most babygirl he's ever been

user40: we need the pictures SHOW IT TO ME RACHEL

fernandoalo_oficial: fine, i guess he's okay. i'm not calling him the king of monza though

yourusername: i knew you'd come around

fernandoalo_oficial: i love my daughter SORRY

yourusername: don't lie to me you only calmed down and accepted it because i called in the reinforcements

user41: i'm crying she called babysitters for her dad

yourusername: jenson and mark, idk how you deal with him

jensonbutton: the stress of him and his antics keep me skinny

aussiegrit: i think we're all trauma bonded

charles_leclerc: i'll be the king of monza, if you'll be my queen

charles_leclerc: and i will continue to do what i want

yourusername: i'll be your queen anywhere you want

yourusername: and if doing what you want includes fighting my dad... let's turn it down a lil

charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything

fin.

note: here yall go - this was in my drafts half done from monza weekend but life got crazy

[setaretjd]

Being in a Toxic Relationship with Members of the Bonten Gang

Trigger Warning:

This post explores the dark, lawless side of the Bonten gang. If you're not into tragic or heavy stories, it's best not to read further.

Angst / Violence / Physical Abuse / Mentions of Death

This story is inspired by Tokyo Revengers and all characters belong to Wakui-sensei.

If you’d like to read more of my work:

Sukuna X You (Past life)

Izana X You X Reader (Izana is your toxic bf)

Mikey

I think it’s obvious—

If he ever starts a relationship built on toxicity,

it might just be the worst relationship in the entire world.

If Bonten’s Mikey doesn’t feel even the slightest obsession or weakness for you,

then, like the other women who died along the way,

you’ll probably end up the same—dead.

Without hesitation, without caring how much you might love him,

he’ll likely put a bullet through your head once he’s done with you.

Mikey, who seems so cold and violent,

would never even consider you a part of his life in a relationship like this—

except for the seconds he wastes on you.

Just a tool.

Just a body to pass a few minutes with.

Like someone sent into that room—a faceless, forgettable slave—

meant to entertain the man inside and then die once the fun is over.

That was the fate of anyone who dared form a bond

with the monster of Bonten.

Disobeying his orders?

It meant body parts of a woman surfacing in bags under the dock—

the kind of bags police already knew were linked to Bonten,

so they didn’t even bother taking the case.

That was all you’d get for defiance.

But either way,

they’d get rid of you eventually.

So most of the girls there probably chose to die a little later.

Sanzu

Sanzu Haruchiyo of Bonten

is, without a doubt, the worst possible person to even think of starting a healthy relationship with—

let alone when he slides that infamous contract across the table with that wicked smile,

asking you to stay loyal to him.

Being his lab rat,

for every syringe and substance he injects into your body,

just so he can watch you collapse and tremble with a twisted joy—

it’s probably the most pathetic way he proves that after signing that contract,

you’ve lost all control.

But that’s the difference between him and Mikey.

Sanzu won’t let you die.

You’ll suffer—

long enough to taste every emotion he’s ever endured in his miserable life.

And when you’re utterly weak, stripped of will, defenseless—

he holds you close.

So you start to hope.

So he can break you again—completely.

So he can gift you the belief that no one,

no one in this world but him, will ever care.

He brings you so low

that you’re forced to beg on your knees

just for a sliver of his attention.

Watching you lose your smile,

knowing you’ll never find it again without him—

that’s his pleasure.

He is, without question,

the most effective hallucinogen to ever wash someone’s brain.

The last time he drove you to the edge of madness

was when he lied and said he’d been with other girls.

And when he saw how, in a fraction of a second,

you went from quiet and soft

to someone seconds away from burning everything down—

he held you like a madman

just to calm you.

He probably knew then

that he’d never be able to walk away from you—

that he was taking a huge risk.

Because when a man already has his favorite doll,

he doesn’t really need another.

But he still enjoys pressing his toy

against the glass of the new display case.

So when you were out with him,

Sanzu forced you to watch strippers dance just for him.

And when you broke down crying,

he pulled his gun and fired shots until the whole place cleared—

just so your smile would belong to him again.

Being with Sanzu

is like running toward a noose—

one that only snaps right before it strangles you.

Ran and Rindou

These two brothers—

they're not as cruel as Mikey,

nor as psychologically twisted as Sanzu.

But they make it painfully clear,

through words and actions,

that everything depends on how much patience they have left

to tolerate your presence.

You’re definitely not the only girl hanging around for them—

but the first time you crossed paths with them,

you realized you were never going to live here quietly,

never without being watched.

Dare to speak to Ran,

and he’ll put out the tip of his cigarette on your shoulder.

Dare to cry in front of Rindou,

and he’ll make sure not a single tear rolls down your cheek

until the sound of your fingers breaking

echoes through the room.

During meetings at the Haitani tower,

some of you girls sat beside the brothers,

while the rest served the other gang members.

And if things didn’t go the way the brothers wanted—

you were the first one Ran would drag across the floor by your hair.

Rindou would smash bottles against the wall,

his angry eyes scanning the girls,

as the usual wave of tense, choking silence filled the air again.

That’s how it always went.

That’s how it always ended.

The bruises never had time to fade.

And after unloading their rage on you,

things only calmed down once they realized

no girl in that building could satisfy them anymore—

and they’d bring in new ones.

But that night—

when Rindou kicked your door open,

with Ran leaning against the hallway wall behind him—

you finally understood.

They didn’t want to punish you this time.

Not like before.

They just made you swallow those pills,

then both of them laid down in your bed,

quiet, still,

while you curled into Rindou’s chest,

and Ran held you from behind,

occasionally scraping his teeth against your skin in a drunken daze.

And after that night—

they never came back to the Roppongi tower.

They left you and the rest of the girls behind,

like forgotten toys in a haunted room.

Just as people expect from the yakuza—

those two probably don’t even remember

what kind of nightmares they left behind for the ones inside that building.

Kakucho

After being chosen as the only girl brought into Kakucho’s estate,

things didn’t go the way you’d been warned.

He gave you a choice.

Compared to the others you’d been with before—

he seemed calmer, more composed, more deliberate.

But his eyes—

his face when he delivered a command—

they made you shiver.

He looked patient, right up until you agreed to what he wanted.

But he was never going to act like a gentleman until the end.

The way he pulled your hair from behind,

the grip of his large, calloused hands around your throat,

his breath hot on your shoulder as he pressed his head against it—

whispering threats that you were never to do this with any other man but him.

When you needed space,

he didn’t argue.

He just knew.

Sent his men to find you at exactly the right moment.

You’d sneak out of his room while he was sharpening his knives by the tall window,

and you wouldn’t see him again until the next week.

He never became more than that.

Never let his emotions reach you.

Just a cold, unreachable man

who called you to his room when he wanted—

but never gave you a hug.

Never touched you with anything close to tenderness.

The only time you reached for him—

the morning he was leaving,

your hand wrapping around his arm—

he slapped you hard enough to remind you

you weren’t allowed to touch him anywhere but his bed.

But when the maid brought your clothes that day,

and he realized it was your birthday,

he said nothing.

Just sent a bag—

shoes, a purse, and flowers

delivered to your door.

When you thanked him the next week,

he said nothing.

Didn’t even look at you as you prepared for that night.

By then, you knew.

The wall he’d built around the two of you—

it was never coming down.

Not while he kept himself locked away in that frozen silence.

So you stopped trying to make him notice you.

"Thank you for reading my writing.

I’d be happy if you joined me again in the next ones."

[fear-is-truth]

How do you think Kai would handle a breakup? Especially with someone he loved. Maybe that person started seeing how Kai was becoming so much of a monster and deciding to end things for their own safety. Would Kai even allow them to leave his house?

content warning — toxic behaviour but kai is a warning himself lol

a/n : how i love to psychoanalyse my cult leader bf

he wouldn’t handle a breakup rationally, especially if it came from someone he genuinely loved. for him, love is about devotion and loyalty. if you wanted to leave, he wouldn’t see it as your right to protect yourself—it would be a betrayal of the highest order. he wouldn’t care if you said it was for their own safety; in his mind, leaving means rejecting everything he’s worked to build, in his movement.

guilt-tripping. he knows how to manipulate, and he’d make it seem like you were abandoning him when he needed you most. he’d tell you that you were giving up on something important, accuse you of being weak or selfish. he’d try to make you question yourself, turning the situation around so it wasn’t about his behaviour but about your inability to handle it. his goal would be to make you doubt if leaving is the right decision, to plant the idea that you’re the problem, not him.

manipulation wouldn’t stop at words. kai would have a plan. he’s not the type to let anyone leave without securing his leverage first. if you had been close, he’d already have things he could use—explicit photos, sex tapes. he’d threaten your family, your job, or anything else you care about, making it clear that leaving would come at a cost. he’d remind you that no one just walks away from him unscathed, and make sure you knew he could hurt you without ever laying a finger on you.

even if he allowed you to leave on your own free will, he’d still have his men keep tabs on you. he wouldn’t trust that you’d stay quiet, so he’d want eyes on you at all times to ensure that you don’t rat him out to the authorities. kai is deeply paranoid, and he’d make sure you live with it too.

his ego would take a hit, but he’d act indifferent, telling you that you were replaceable, that you didn’t matter as much as you thought you did. but deep down, it would eat at him. rejection isn’t something he’s equipped to handle. he’d obsess over the issue, retreat to his parents’ room, where he always goes when he feels powerless. sitting there beat to his mother’s corpse, he’d stew in his frustration, replaying the breakup over and over. it’s a place where his anger festers, where he lets himself feel everything he can’t show anyone else.

winter would play a key role here, too. kai would enlist her to stay on friendly terms with you, to keep a foot in the door, so to speak. he’d even talk her into trying to seduce you, framing it as a way to ensure you don’t end up with someone else—someone he sees as unworthy of you. it’s fucked up as hell, but that’s kai. even when he’s heartbroken, his love is possessive and all-consuming.

[elllisaaa]

sorry i just read you’re request rules😭 Heyyy i was wondering if you could do bf thoughts with dino or vernon🫶

hii ! no problem, here is the dino version and you can find the vernon one right here ! hope you'll enjoy it !

BF!CHAN who's so whipped, heart eyes everytime you enter the room or talk to him, ready to drop everything for you.

chan is definitely one of those clingy boyfriends. no matter the time or location, he needs to touch you but mostly, he needs you to touch him to feel alright. you're literally his safe space, so when he feels anxious or that he needs some reassurance, he will grab your hand and not let it go or rest his head on his shoulders. and chan gets even clingier when he's tired - though you don't really complain because he's very cute when he's pouting and asking for your attention. you and him cuddle every night without any exceptions, he literally needs it to sleep well. and even if he wants to be dependable and reliable to you, he actually loves to be the little spoon. for sure, he also adores holding you in his arms, but the best part of his day is when you hold him at night and that you run your hands through his hair. he also loves to fall asleep while laying on your chest, your heartbeat soothing every one of his worries. chan won't admit this before a loooong time, but once he does, he gets to be the little spoon even more so he doesn't regret it - he just needs to be loved as much as he loves.

"can you play with my hair too ? i love when you do that baby, it's so relaxing."

love languages are acts of service, physical touch and words of affirmation. talking about the first, he's often bringing you breakfast in bed when he has some days off, claiming it's for all the nights you stay up waiting for him to come home. he cooks everything by himself and spoils you before returning under the covers with you. he actually loves lazy morning where he can just spend an hour or two in bed with you, quietly talking and admiring your pretty face. talking about the second, chan absolutely needs a welcome home kiss when he gets home, and a goodbye kiss when he leaves - it's really important and he would be kind of upset if he doesn't get his kisses. talking about the third, he's saying "i love you" so much you think it's his most used words at this point. he confesses his love all the time, even when you look like a dead rat and just woke up, or when you're doing nothing particular - chan just feels the need to remind you of how down bad for you he is. and when you look him in the eyes to say it back, he melts inside because this man needs to be cherished too.

"i love you y/n." - "i'm just bringing you a cup of water, baby !" - "it takes nothing away from the fact that i love you. - "i love you too channie. so much."

chan giggles and blushes so easily around you, even if you've been together for a long time. anytime you're praising him about his looks, his dance skills or just something he does randomly, he gets so shy. but it's so cute, and you adore to kiss his red cheeks right after and hear him stutter over his words just like during your first date. he loves to do couple trends with you on tiktok. he obviously can't post them, but it's okay because you and him know he has these videos and he can brag to his members about how pretty his girlfriend is. the only downside is that he can't show off how lucky he is to have you. but he does find ways to signal to everyone that you're his, and that goes with his obsession for matching outfits. he definitely got the two of you matching pajamas and outfits, and when you go out, he always takes care of matching with your outfit. even on the days he cannot be with you, he always asks for a pic of your outfit so he can match with you. chan will also borrow some of your hair ties or accessories to keep with him so it's like you're actually here, especially when he goes away for extended periods of time. by the way, you expect a call from him everyday when he's not there because he misses you too much.

"i'm really happy to get to see so many carats but i can't wait to go home to you, i miss you too much… next time, i'm putting you in my luggage."

BF!CHAN who's passionate and intense, his sex drive always increases when he's near you because you're just too attractive.

just like he needs your hands on you at all times, he loves it when you put some kind of ownership on him. chan is proud to be yours, and he wants to show it off. so whenever you mark him, he's going crazy. you could suck hickeys on his neck, scratch his back with your nails or bite his shoulders and he would literally moan like a slut. the best part is that he doesn't even try to hide these marks, instead purposely putting on clothes that show them off, even if he gets teased by his members. also, if you leave lipstick stains on any part of his body - especially his cock after having sucked him off - he will take pictures of it. chan marks you too of course, but he prefers when you're the one doing it. if you catch him in a day he's particularly tired and sensitive, he reacts even more to your touches and you could bring him to cum just by kissing, licking and sucking on his neck. his moans are so loud every time you decide to mark him, eyes closed and feeling dizzy from having a beautiful girl like you all over him

"make me your baby, please, i want your marks all over me."

okay this one might be a little controversial but i think that he loves it when you wear heels. chan is definitely the type of boyfriend to get down on his knees and help you put on and take off your heels on date nights, going as far as putting your legs on his lap to massage your sore feets, your little noises of appreciation driving him mad. his fav is when you press down your heel against his crotch, getting him hard even in public sometimes, it gets him off so quickly. that goes with the fact that he's obsessed with you and your body. you're literally a goddess in his eyes and he makes sure to worship you everytime he gets a glimpse of you. i'm convinced that he gets pussy drunk very easily, losing himself quickly in the taste of your juices when he's eating you out. when he's inside of you, he's very vocal about how good you make him feel and chan goes crazy whenever you're squeezing around him.

"f-fuck ! you feel so fucking good, so wet and tight baby…"

sex with chan is messy - there's slick, cum, saliva, sweat and tears everywhere once the both of you are done. so obviously, the sheets have to be changed and showers after you've fucked is necessary. it's something he loves because it's intimate and he feels close to you, but it often leads to a round two in the shower. seeing you naked and getting to wash your body gets him going all over again. the hot water falling on the two of you and the slow, lazy thrusts heightening all his and your senses. also, he loves fucking in the bath. when he gets home from long days at practice and that you had run a bath for him, it already makes him fall more in love with you. so having you sitting behind him, one hand stroking his cock up and down, lips sucking on his neck and running your other hand through his hair to help him relax - it's truly one of the best feelings ever.

"feels good channie ?" - "mh.. so good, don't stop."

[hughesyodaddy43]

Pizza solves everything ⎸ L.H

pairings: bf! Luke x fem!reader. Platonic!Ethan Edwards and Mark Estapa x reader Genre: fluff warnings: angst?,mentions of cheating, stressed reader, exam season synopsis: Lukes girlfriend gets worked up over finals. Ethan and Mark attempt to make her feel better. requested?: yes word count: 3.1k authors note: I am not from America so i don't know how exams and schooling work over there, i hope this still makes sense. i gave reader a nickname, 'missy' and will probably use that name for future Luke fics.

You groan as you type on your computer, sitting at your desk with mindless tv playing in the background. You currently live in a tiny apartment with your best friend, Ethan. It's a two bedroom and can only really house two people before feeling cramped. However it is right next to Umich and is far more convenient than living in the dorms. 

You only started living with Ethan last year, after your previous roommate moved out and you needed someone to share utilities with. Seeming as though Luke was leaving for New Jersey and Ethan never left your house anyway - it seemed only logical that he started paying rent.

Having a boyfriend in the NHL is both a blessing and a curse, the blessing being the fact that your hot boyfriend is in the NHL and the curse being that everyone else thinks he is hot too. 

You never were the jealous type, or at least not before you saw all the girls that crowded Luke when he went to parties. Something in you cringed when you saw how awkward he got when denying girls, it was common that you'd have to step in otherwise that man would have just stood there like a statue the entire encounter. It wasn't like he would ever cheat on you, you were confident that he wouldn't. However when your hair is fitted to a much darker shade then the girls he interacts with, it's hard to not think about him wanting a more ‘conventional’ Hockey Girlfriend. 

Luke is always first to tell you he doesn't care about that stuff and you believe him, but when you haven't called him in days, sometimes weeks, it gets less easy to control the unsettling feelings.

Everytime you call with Luke, it's always cut short, whether it’s Ethan banging on your door at 11 o’clock  for a ‘late night snack’ or Jack barging in to argue with Luke about something, you never get to talk about what you're really feeling. 

Because of the distance and lack of communication, the relationship has been a bit strained, it's not like you could tell if luke felt the same since he's too busy sleeping or playing hockey to communicate that with you. You were so proud of Luke, no doubt about it, however something in you boiled when he only ever mentioned hockey during the ten minute phone calls.

Since the last phone call you had with him, you've only really exchanged small text messages every couple hours. It was upsetting that you couldn't talk to your boyfriend about everything going on but it was also a nice way to get away so you can finish up and focus on all the upcoming exams.

You had your next one tomorrow and really needed to knuckle down and get studying for it. You've managed to get what you needed done for tonight so you thought you'd call Luke for a final call before bed.

After wriggling comfortably against your pillows, you lean against your head board. bringing your phone up close to your ear, you press the dial on luke's contact  listening closely to the ringing sound on the other end.

Ring 

Ring 

Ring 

Your breath hitches as you hear Lukes voice on the other end, only this time it was his voicemail. You take one last deep breath before shutting your phone off and sinking into your pillows. 

Your phone vibrates on your nightstand and you view a message from your best friend and biggest hater, Ethan.

House rat: the team got too much pizza, if you're still up I can bring you some?

House rat : Silence speaks volumes missy 

Pissy missy : no. i'm just asleep

Pissy missy : You're disturbing my slumber 

House rat: oh well pizza is good for your soul. Mark is coming too ;)

Pissy missy: Fuck.

You sigh and put your phone back down, wiping your eyes, you sit up against the headboard once again and pull your computer onto your lap, Resuming your place in your essay.

“MISSY  COME HERE GIRL” Ethan calls out from the front door, walking towards your room in long strides. He bursts through the door with a box of pizza in his hand and makes his way to sit at the end of your bed, Mark slowly entering behind him. Mark moves to sit further on the bed, next to Ethan, pulling out a piece of pizza from the box.

“How are you?” Mark asks as he stuffs his face with the crust.

You sigh, reaching to rip a piece of pizza from the rest, bringing it up close to your lips

“Been okay, I guess” you take a bite, avoiding eye contact with the two boys in front of you “are you sure? You've seemed a bit distant'' Mark asks “im fine.” you say, taking another big bite of the saucy crust “are you sur-” “I'm fine so quit asking” you yell, adding an edge of venom to your words. Taking the boys by surprise “wow, someones a bit extra pissy tonight” Ethan adds. 

That's when something in your throat tightens, you feel yourself bubbling over. You don't understand why, your whole nickname stems from the fact that you get pissy from time to time but it feels like that was the last straw.

Tears begin filling your eyes, vision goes blurry as you feel your cheeks burn up. Sniffles are heard as the boys go silent before you. Tears drip onto the final bite of your pizza.

“Im-sorry-i-just-so-stressed-and-upset-and-luke-hasnt-been-talking-to-me-and-i-miss-him-and-i-think-hes-gonna-breakup-with-me-and-im-just-so-sad-and-i-dont-mean-to-be-mean-but-im-just-so-angry” you hurry through muffled sobs as your eyes go red and your sinuses block up.

“Woah hey hey, Missy i didn't mean to make you upset.” Ethan says , leaning forward to meet your eyes

“Yeah, talk to us..but a bit slower please” Mark says softly, careful to not make you cry again.

You take a deep breath, lifting your head up to see the two young hockey boys worried faces, your lip quivers slightly as you breathe in and out, ready to spill out what has been hurting you.

“I don't know, I'm just so stressed with these exams and I think I'm gonna do fine but I'm just scared.” you start, trying to get one problem out at a time 

“I know for a fact that you'll do fine in your exams and assignments” Ethan comforts “yeah! you're like the smartest person i know!” Mark chimes

“Thanks.. It's not just that tho” you say, sniffling a bit as tears continue down your face and onto your swollen lips, the taste of salt sinks into your mouth. The Hockey players stay silent, waiting patiently for you to continue. 

“Luke and I haven't really been talking and I think he wants to break up.”

 The boys share a knowing glance but say nothing. 

“And you know i've seen all the girls jack brings home, the pretty blonde girls i mean what if luke met one of them and they fell in love” you say, growing more and more hysterical as each thought processes through your head.

Logically you new Luke would never cheat but with your emotions running high you couldnt help but think that  Luke had fucked the entire female poplutation of new jersey ranging from 18-25 by now.

“And all he every talks about when we do call is stupid fucking hockey” you rise your voice slightly before looking at the boys 

“no offence” you add, placing your hands in your lap and finishing your pizza

 “ he didn't even answer my call tonight” you finish, the last sentence being muffled as you swallow your food. 

To your surprise the boys stay silent and stare at each other with Ethan looking down at his phone then back up at mark then sharing a look back to you.

“OMG SO HE IS GONNA BREAK UP WITH ME” you scream, tears streaming down your face harder 

“WHAT NO NO NO” the boys choir, eyes wide.

“Then why are you looking at eachother like that? And who the fuck are you messaging at 12o’clock at night???” you yell pointing towards ethan. 

“No-no one” ethan adds, throwing his phone away to the end of the bed.

Mark moves to sit next to you, throwing an awkward arm around you in a comforting embrace 

“missy, he's probably not gonna break up with you'' Mark adds 

“PROBABLY??” you cry 

“NONO he means he is NOT going to break up with you” Ethan interjects, throwing a pointed look at Mark “oh yeah sorry that's what i meant” Mark stuttered

You groan loudly as your head flys back onto your pillows, you bury yourself into your blanket

“Okayyy so you're tired so we're gonna get outta here” Ethan says, dragging the pizza off your bed with Mark sliding off behind him.

“Good night, Missy'' Mark says, patting your head, peeking out slightly 

“Good night!!” Ethan yells from the kitchen with a mouthful of pizza.

X

X

You wake up to the blaring sound of your alarm, you look at your phone that reads ‘7 am’ and still you have no response from Luke. You sigh and remove yourself from your bed, making your way towards the shared bathroom you have with Ethan. 

You walk down the hall and pass Mark who is sleeping soundly on the couch, you continue walking and stop by  Ethan's room, you peer in to see him sprawled out on his bed, keeping note that you should keep quiet as you get ready so you don't wake the two up prematurely.

You take time in your shower to clear your mind, enjoying the warm hug as the water runs down your back and soothes your sore neck. You recite in your head that everything will be okay and to just focus on your exam first, then worry about whatever bullshit Luke is pulling.you finish your shower and get dressed in warm attire. You pair your favourite long sleeve shirt with your fav baggy sweats and continue on with your hair and makeup. Finishing up, you leave the bathroom and are met with the inviting smell of fresh breakfast.

Walking down the hallway you are met with Mark and Ethan who have both woken up and are now stuffing their faces with every breakfast food you own.

“Good morning” you say, giggling slightly 

“Morning” Mark says, eyes still drawn to the tv 

“Heyy, do you want a bagel?” Ethan asks, walking over towards you “you're gonna need some brain food” he adds 

“Maybe not, i'm too nervous to eat right now” you say

“Hmm, are you sure? What about I make you one for later?” he asks

“Maybe next time” you say as you turn on your heels back to your room, rummaging through your cupboard you find a comfy hoodie to throw over your body to keep you warm and toasty throughout your exam. You pack up your bag and walk back out into the kitchen. You then return back to your room, retrieving your charging phone. 

“Missy, do you need a ride?” Ethan asks 

“Nah, the walk will be nice for me, good way to clear my head” you add, walking back out of your room. 

You grab your bag and sling it over your shoulders 

“Thank you by the way, for last night” you add looking back towards Ethan and Mark 

“No problemo, i'm sure you'll feel better soon” Mark says, turning his head to give you a cheeky wink 

You giggle a bit as You look back at ethan confusion still evident in your face 

“Don't listen to him, he's weird” Ethan adds as he walks towards you to give you a pat on the back “you'll do great” 

“Thank you” you say as you move out the door and towards school.

X

X

The timer blares through the room as everyone stands , making their way towards the teachers desk to send off their papers. You sit there for a minute, staring down at your paper, revising everything you wrote down. The girl beside you nudges you out of your trance as she waits for you to stand up and hand you paper i with her. All you can do is quietly walk your way down the daring stares that lead to the front of the class. You hand in your work with a deep breath and make your way back to your previous seat, ready to go home and eat your feelings. 

“How do you think you went?” the girl beside you asks as you both walk out of the room,

“Um i think i did okay, passable i hope” you responde 

“I'm sure you did great, you wrote a lot more than i did”

“Hmm how do you think you went?” you ask 

“Good.. i hope”

“You did good, i know it”

“Thanks, missy. I was gonna ask before but how's everything going with Luke? Are you gonna see him soon?” she asks

“Maybe, idk. We haven't been talking too much recently”

“Aww thats a shame well i hope all goes well”

“Yeah, thanks”

“Bye missy” she exits the conversation, making her way over to her next class 

“Bye” you add, thankful that this was the only class you had scheduled for the day.

The walk home was calming , the cold breeze blowing on your face created a refreshing cooling to your hot body as you walked through the campus, passing a couple friends and saying hi briefly before separating.

You make your way to your apartment, trudging up the stairs in a final burst of energy. Unlocking the door you walk into your heated apartment, looking down as you remove your bag, take off your hoodie and hang your keys up, not making note of the tall figure sitting on the bar stools next to your kitchen. 

You turn around and are met with Luke - your boyfriend. The man who you love. The man who's been ignoring you. 

“Hey baby” he says, standing up to walk towards you

You take a step back, anger and confusion plastered on your face 

“Well at least you have the courtesy to do it in person” you say, crossing your arms over your body, sliding your sleeves over your knuckles.

Luke looms over at you, he stares in confusion, trying to read your emotions.

“What are you talking about?” 

Your gaze leaves the floor and meets his, anger bubbling inside your stomach 

“You wanna break up?” you say bluntly, mono toned and unnatural 

“What?? No ??Why would you think that?” Luke argues, voice becoming higher and his breath itching slightly at the information that his girlfriend thinks he drove 9 and a half hours just  to break up with her.

“Are you serious? No call? no text? no nothing, not even a stupid instagram reel and you think my mind wouldn’t wander to that?” you say, stepping forward at each word, announcing your words with a spit of fury.

“I did call and I did text” Luke defends, hands slapping against his sides.

“Barely, Luke we only called for ten minutes a week and all you talked about was stupid hockey and I love hockey but that's all you would talk about. And not to mention the dry messages I mean we barely even talked like normal people, just robots with no love for each other.” you rant on, eyes feeling heavy as tears glistened in your sockets, afraid to let them fall you do your best to blink them away before luke notices.

“Missy” Luke whispers, snaking his hands to your forearms 

“I was only trying to give you space, I knew you would get stressed with your upcoming finals so I wanted to give you as much time as you needed to study. I didn't mean to be dry and unloving towards you” his voice was soothing and calm, his fingers brushing lightly on your clothed arms.

“Well it was a dumb decision” you grumble, earning a snicker from luke 

“yeah , it was and I'm sorry.” he agrees 

“So why are you here then? If you aren't gonna break up with me?”

“I was planning to come down after your finals were finished, I was originally driving in tomorrow but Ethan messaged me last night telling me to come early” 

“Oh. so that's why they were acting weird” you say, reciting the events of last night in your head.

“Yeah, Do you know why he said that?” 

“Well i was a bit emotional last night, i was crying while stuffing my face with pizza” you laugh looking back up at luke.

“Oh my, so is that why Ethan sent me 43  messages at midnight?” Luke adds, smiling to himself before pulling up his phone to show you the absurdly concerning amount of texts from the boy.

“I'll take it that Ethan and Mark were not very good at comforting you?” he says, sitting back down on the bar stool and pulling you to stand in between his legs 

“They weren't too bad , maybe not the best tho” you say, giggling slightly at the situation 

Silence fills the room for a bit before luke speaks up 

“I'm sorry I caused you so much stress, I love you and I wouldn't trade you for the world. Maybe I should try and talk to you more and not just about hockey, hm?” he speaks, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear 

“Yes please” you smile before leaning in to give him a deep kiss. You both pull away before going back in for a warm and comforting hug, swaying slightly.

“I don't know about you but i'm starving, do you wanna go get some food?” Luke asks, speaking into the crook of your neck 

“mhm, exams make me hungry and that breakfast bar Ethan snuck into my bag wasn't very filling” you add, moving so you can look at Luke once more, placing a delicate kiss on his lips 

“About Ethan, should I talk to him about how pizza doesn't solve every problem?” 

You giggle at his comment, staring softly into his muddy blue eyes before being interrupted by Ethan opening his door 

“PIZZA SOLVES EVERYTHING” he shouts just before slamming his bedroom door closed.

“He's been home this whole time?” I ask Luke 

“Who do you think let me in?” Luke chimes, smirking down at you.

wriggling out of his arms its not long till you're pulled back by a  gentle hand on your wrist 

“Wait, I  gotta ask how your exam went” Luke asks, hands sneaking around my waist and resting on my lower back.

“It went okay, i didn't give up so that's good” i say, shrugging.

“Mhm good, never give up” he says, finishing his comment by  patting my head.

Silence is left between us once again, eyes frowning as he tries to read my expression 

“I missed you, Lukey. Don't pull that shit again”

“I missed you too, and judging by how angry you were when you came home i definitely won't” he says as we both make our way out the door and down the stairs.

[thatbennybee]

ChordStriker!AU Q&A

I'm doing a bit of a Q&A about my ChordStriker!AU on insta after sharing this teaser WIP, so I figured I'd present some of the questions here! (Feel free to ask more btw!)

↓↓↓

Rock!Poppy

Q: "Is Poppy's family (Peppy & Viva) still with her since the Bergens didn't attack them?"

A: Peppy is with her, but he is confused/in mental decline like canon King Thrash was. Viva is missing. Poppy was old enough to remember her.

Q: "Will Viva play somewhat of a role in this AU?"

A: Yes, she's had a much bigger impact on Poppy's life, even till this day even though she's been missing for many years now. Poppy has never stopped looking for her.

Q: "Is King Peppy still a liar in your AU?"

A: Nah, he's normal. Sometimes hating him with my entire being is hard, so he gets to be a good dad this time. He's just not all there mentally so Poppy is more like his caretaker now.

Q: "Poppy's relationships don't last long because she gets bored... So how long is Branch going to last?"

A: The Rat Pack (Snack Pack) is wondering the same thing, but Poppy's never used the bf/gf/partner labels before meeting him which is strange... 👀

Q: "Does Poppy still party?"

A: She's a total party animal! Her parties are even more intense than a Pop Troll party since Rock Trolls are pretty extreme. LOL

---

Pop!Barb (Barbie)

Q: "What does Barb look like?"

A: For now, this is her design, it might change once I have time to draw her digitally.

Q: "Does this mean Barb has to go through the events of Trolls 1?"

A: Nope, Barb never befriends Bridget because they have never met. They have found a way to remain undetected in the forest. (Thanks to Branch’s constant nagging about safety)

Q: "How does Barb's gang look? Is there any significant differences in their dynamics?"

A: I haven't had time to finish them all, but here's some of them for now. There's more members of The Lunch Rush, but this is all I have for now!

Val Thundershock → Valentina Wondershock.

Only Queen Barbie calls her Val. She is very optimistic & loves to sing & dance! She's Barbie’s right-hand troll, BFFL & knows everything about her. They have a very... "close" relationship. ;] She's a popstar who's managed by Demo and loves to help make Pop Village a happier place.

Riff

He's a university student studying to be an engineer. He's very soft spoken, doesn't like to make a fuss and is probably the nicest guy around. He's quite close to Barbie and sees her as an older sister. He's actually on friendly terms with Branch. His favorite treat is lollipops. 🍭

Carol

But you can call her Carrie! Everyone does. She's a bit of a diva, loves to look good & dull things bore her. She will ignore anything that doesn't catch her eye, even trolls. Best to be looking your very best!

Sid Fret

Just call him Sid, no need to be so formal. He is every trolls dream guy and he knows it! He's a great roller derby racer and loves the attention trolls give him. Sure, he's a little self-absorbed, but he's a very loyal friend.

Demo

Not much has changed about Demo. He's perfect as he is <3 He's just a little more excitable & cutesy than before. He cares about Valentina a lot & they are very close friends.

Petra

She is the blueprint, she's the moment, she's everything. A model, actress, singer, you name it, she can do it. She's perfect... Who doesn't want to be her?

---

Branch

Q: "How different is Branch in this AU vs canon Branch?"

A: He is the same Branch essentially, just without the development he gains at the end of Trolls 1 & so-on. None of it occurred, so he is still grey, miserable & a recluse. He helped Barb to come up with a plan to keep everyone safe after nagging & warning her for ages, but after that, he returned to his bunker & is still not well-liked by the village.

Q: "Does she know Branch's whole past? If she does, what was her reaction?"

A: Not sure if you meant Barb or Poppy, so I'll answer for both. Barb—no. I don't think she'd ever find out, and she's also not the type to ask. Their personalities clash a bit too much, she stays out of his way like he asks her to.

For Poppy—I think it would come up naturally in conversation after a while when Branch feels more comfortable sharing. Poppy isn't the type to pry, but makes it clear that it's out of understanding, not a lack of caring. She can tell that he is closed off for a reason. She relates to that. I think she'd be beyond pissed once he told her, though.

Q: "Will Branch's brothers be in this?"

A: Yes, but Floyd will be getting the bigger role this time.

Q: "How quickly does Branch fall for Poppy? I'm sure the answer is yes, but is he happy?"

A: I'd say he's quite guarded in the beginning. He is cautious around her for the first few weeks, but he starts to come around once he picks up on Poppy being emotionally guarded herself.

Things move quickly once their walls come down around each other, & a mutual understanding is there. Poppy fell for him first. (At least, that's what Branch lets her believe, as it was love at first sight for him, but he'd never tell her that; she'd get a big head about it.)

[vitalverstappen]

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys - C. Leclerc

summary: after Charles broke your heart... again... you figured it was time to get your life together

pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

warnings: drinking, swearing i think?, simping for a man

word count: 3.6k

masterlist

the tortured drivers' department masterlist

You walked into your apartment to find your on and off boyfriend, Charles, sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. It was the third time you two were together, and things were going great up until recently. Up until the past week, the two of you clicked, just like two puzzle pieces. But now, the dates were few and far between, the texts were one or two words each, and the spark wasn’t there like it had been a few months prior. 

“Hi” You greeted as you set the groceries on the counter.

“How was shopping, amour?” Charles asked,his eyes still glued to the screen and his voice seemed to lack any real care. 

You chose to ignore it, knowing if you questioned him, it would lead to another argument. “It was good. I got everything we need for dinner tonight” 

Silence overcame the two of you as you put the groceries away. The only sound in the room came from the soccer match on the TV. Once you were done with the groceries, you sat down on the couch next to Charles. 

“Who’s playing?” You asked 

Charles motioned to the screen in front of you “Monaco and Lyon” He huffed 

You nodded, clearly getting the message he didn’t want to talk. The two of you were quiet until the half ended.

“I think we need to talk” Charles spoke, breaking the silence as the players rushed off the field. His eyes were much softer than before, with his face covered in concern.

Here we go again. 

Those six words were always the beginning of the end - a tell tale sign he was going to pull the trigger. 

“We’ve both been so busy the past few months, we’ve barely had time for each other. The spark isn’t there anymore. I think it’s best if we end it.” He said 

And there it was. 

As much as you wanted to argue and fight for the relationship like an army doll, you knew it would be in vain. You had tried to fight for your relationship before, all to end up separated anyway. So, as you barely fought back the tears forming in the corner of your eyes, a small plastic smile formed on your lips. 

“Yeah, I get it.” Was all you were able to get out 

“Thanks for understanding. We’ll both be better off”

Within the next two weeks, Charles had moved his things out of your apartment and loneliness filled the air instead. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. In fact, sulking just as you did the last time you two broke up, was almost comforting. 

You were laying on your couch in misery, watching your favorite rom-com and nursing a carton of ice cream. Was it stereotypical? Yes. Did you care? Absolutely not. Your head turned to the door as you heard a key rattle in the lock.

Charles?

“Alright, that’s it y/n. You’ve been sulking in here forever” y/bf/n said as she swung open the door to your apartment. 

It was times like this where you regretted giving her a key. A sigh escaped your lips as you sunk back into the couch cushions. The sound of her footsteps echoed as she made her way to you. 

“Being sad for this long isn’t healthy. You haven’t left your apartment in weeks. We’re all worried about you.” She continued

“I’ll be fine” You mumble “It’s just the worst thing about a break up is losing your best friend” 

“Yeah, the ‘best friend’ that wants nothing to do with you. I’m still here. The worst part is that you’re not gonna see his dog,” She said. You didn’t respond as you took another spoonful of ice cream. 

“Is that LEC?” Y/bf/n grabbed the carton out of your hand. “Why are you eating LEC?” 

“I didn’t wanna waste it” You mumbled. Even though Charles was the creator of the brand, it was really good ice cream. 

“Whatever” Y/bf/n mumbled as she handed you the carton again. “This isn’t the gym rat, adventure seeking, life loving y/n that we all know and love” 

“And who knows if she’s ever going to come back” You said as you turned your attention back to the movie that was playing 

Y/bf/n grabbed the remote and paused the movie, causing you to let out a groan. “No. We are getting her back, whether you like it or not. We are not letting a boy break you like a cheap toy.” 

The wheels started to turn in your mind. Charles did break you like a cheap toy. But once something’s broken, it gets fixed. And once it gets fixed, it gets used again. 

You sit up and look at your best friend. “Yeah, I need to fix myself.”

The progress started slow and with physical changes in your life. Instead of binge watching romance movies, you were taking a walk everyday. Instead of ordering takeout, you were making dinner at home. 

The changes then began to be mental. You had started journaling and going to therapy. Talking out your thoughts and feelings about the “on and off” again tragedy helped you get to a better spot. What started as fixing yourself to get him back, ended with you finding yourself again. 

It wasn’t easy and it sure took a long time, but finding yourself was the best thing that you could’ve done. 

A few months later, your group of friends decided to go out to Jimmy’z for the night. Clubbing wasn’t really your thing, but your friends had insisted you join them just once. 

And so you agreed, which is how you found yourself at the bar, a few vodka crans deep. As the bass boomed through your heart, you found yourself dancing like there was no tomorrow. Nothing, or no one, could ruin your night. 

Or so you thought. 

Hours after you had entered the club, you saw a group you knew all too well. Only four of the twenty possible guys were there but that was four more than you wanted. 

It was only a matter of time until you saw them - a handful of them did live in Monaco afterall. However, you had managed to avoid them for the past year, you were hoping you could push it one more night. 

You watched as the four guys made their way from the entrance, all the way to the bar. They practically parted the crowd as they walked through the packed club. Everyone knew who they were. 

“I’m gonna go outside for a minute. I need some fresh air” You told y/bf/n. You didn’t even wait to see her response as you turned and headed towards the patio. 

The chilly air sent a shock through your system as you walked outside. Even though it was summer, the sun was long gone and the sea was close, making it much colder. Only a handful of people were outside, which you were thankful for. 

It was the week between races, and Charles, Max, Lando, and Pierre all decided to pay a visit to their favorite club in Monaco - Jimmy’z. They made their way to the bar, and one by one, they got their drinks. 

Lando was the first one to spot your group of friends from across the club. You were nowhere to be found, but Lando was still a blabbermouth. 

“Y/n’s friends are here” Lando yelled over the blaring music to Max and Pierre

Max’s eyes widened and he glanced at Charles, who was still at the bar, then back to Lando, almost asking if you were with them. 

“Haven’t seen her” Lando continued “Just her friends”

“We should still be careful though.” Pierre chimed in “She could be in the bathroom or something” 

Charles finally got his drink and joined the three boys “Shall we go outside?” 

The second Charles got out to the patio, he wanted to turn around. He knew your silhouette like the back of his hand.The other guys seemed to notice as well, with all of their eyes on the Ferrari driver. 

“I didn’t think y/n would be here” He said 

You found yourself staring out at the sea, watching the waves crash on the shore as you tried to think of a plan out of here without seeing the guys. 

The train of thought was cut off by the feeling of an arm snaking around your waist. One you knew a little too well. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone out here?” An all too familiar voice slurred. 

Here we go again. 

You turned to find yourself face to face with Charles. The three other boys were off at a table on the patio, completely oblivious to what was going on. You could feel your heart pounding out of your chest as you took in the Monegasques features for the first time in a year. He had the same tousled black hair and charming smile, but he clearly put on more muscle and carried himself with the confidence of a god.

“Hey Charles” You said trying to calm yourself 

“Y/n, it’s been a while” He replied as he took in all of your features “You look amazing.” 

The two of you chatted about your lives since the split. Work, friends, traveling: the usual. It was a matter of time until the inevitable was asked. 

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve been good. I can’t really complain.” Charles said and a lull formed between you. He took a careful breath before speaking again “Are you seeing anyone?” 

There it was. 

“No, I’m not. I haven’t really been focusing on dating” You answered

A small smile formed on Charles’ lips. You could see his wheels turning as you returned the question, solely out of politeness. 

“I’m not either.” He paused, his green eyes meeting yours and his hand taking yours, “I realized I had made a mistake letting you go last year. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I left. Would you be willing to give me another chance?” 

You had imagined the day you would see Charles and the rest of the grid again, but that was when you were still miserable on your couch. The plan was that once you “fixed yourself” he would see how much better you were and how he was an idiot for leaving you. You imagined him admitting his mistake and asking to try again. But now that you were in that moment, you realized you didn’t figure out what would happen after. 

A year ago, you would have jumped at the opportunity to try again with him. No hesitation, you would have said yes. 

But that was then, and Charles is asking you a full year later. A year of tears, therapy sessions, working out, and reconnecting with friends. A year of finding yourself after the rollercoaster that was Charles Leclerc. 

“Look Char,” you began, taking a breath, reassuring yourself this was the right decision. “I had so much fun when we were together. I truly thought we were playing for keeps each time we got back together, but it ended up destroying me. I finally found myself, and I can’t stand to lose her again.” 

Charles nodded, taking in your words. “I get it. I’ll see you around, y/n” 

He began to turn and walk away, but something possessed you to reach for him. 

“Charles, wait” You grabbed his wrist, causing him to stop. His full attention was back on you.

“What?” He asked, annoyance filling his voice 

“We can still be friends. I do miss having you around.” 

“I’d like that actually. Start completely fresh” He replied, reaching out his hand

“And whatever happens, happens” You agreed, taking his stretched out hand and following his lead to his friends. 

The next morning, you found yourself back in your apartment, tucked in your own bed. Pounding filled your head, proof that last night wasn’t a dream - you were starting fresh with Charles. Last night replayed in your head, from getting to the bar, all the way to Charles walking you home. Reaching for your phone, you noticed a text from a certain Monegasque. 

Charlie: It was good seeing you y/n/n. Let me know when you’re free, summer break is around the corner.

You: Same :) I’m free most evenings and weekends, so keep me updated!

It took a half hour of battling the headache, but you eventually got yourself out of bed. Once you got to the living room, you found y/bf/n, along with all of your other friends lounging. 

“I really need to change the locks” You muttered to yourself 

“What the hell happened last night?” Y/bf/n asked “You say you’re going outside and all of a sudden Charles is walking you home?”

“It isn’t what you think” You said 

“What happened to the healing girl plot?” 

You threw your hands up in defense “Look, we were both drunk, but you should’ve seen the way he looked at me” 

“Y/n…” Was all that came out of your best friend’s mouth 

“We didn’t hook up or anything. We’re starting fresh. As friends.” You explained 

The next week consisted of you and Charles constantly texting, catching up on the year that the two of you missed. You finally got the chance to congratulate him on winning in Monaco, while he finally got the chance to ask about how your family was doing. 

Summer break finally came, and you found yourself constantly spending time with Charles (and Leo of course). Grabbing coffee, yachting, and clubbing became a routine of sorts, always ending with him walking you home, but never staying over. 

As the break progressed, you could see how much Charles had changed over the course of the year, just as you had. He was more open with talking about his struggles in F1, and more comfortable with showing his softer side in public. He was even more respectful to not push the limits, no matter how many times you saw him staring at you in your bikini. This wasn’t the same Charles who had broken up with you over a year prior. 

He knew you were a die hard Ferrari fan, long before you even met him, so he flew you out to Monza and even gifted you with a paddock pass. Though you had spent plenty of races in the Ferrari garage, being back after a split always made you nervous. Carlos, Fred and the rest of the garage always made you feel welcome, but the nerves seemed to spike more now that you and Charles weren’t even together. 

“If the fans see me, they’re gonna start saying we’re back together” You told him 

“I know, y/n/n, but remember how much you love Monza. Don’t let some petty rumors ruin your experience.” Charles reassured you “If you need anything, or need to rant, don’t hesitate to come get me,” 

“You have a race to win, I’m not going to distract you” You said 

“This race is nowhere near as important as your mental health. Come get me if you need anything” He repeated “I mean that” 

“Thank you Cha” You said, giving the driver a hug. After you wished him well on the race, you watched as he went about his day, just like you had time and time again years ago.

Sure enough, the tweets about you rolled in, ranging from support that the two of you were back together, to extreme hate that you wouldn’t even wish on your worst enemies. None of it mattered though as you repeated the words that Charles spoke to you in your head and watched as he drove the race of his life. 

With the rest of the Ferrari garage, you found yourself running to the barricade to watch Charles celebrate his victory. After jumping out of his car, he ran to his team, but the second he pulled away, he spotted you a few feet down, and he darted over. 

“Congrats Char!” You smiled 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming” He replied, overjoyed with emotion 

He engulfed you into a hug that you had grown so familiar with the past few weeks. With the TV broadcast and the cameras flashing, you knew that you were going to get attention and hate for being here, but you didn’t care. Your best friend won the most important race to him and the Tifosi. 

That night, you found yourself scrolling through social media, looking at all of the photos from Charles’ win. Eventually, you found yourself on Charles’ profile, where there was a post you weren’t expecting:

charles_leclerc: While I’m blessed to have a passionate fanbase, I ask that everyone respects y/n’s and I’s privacy. Our private life is just that: private. Thank you.

Years ago, Charles wouldn’t have made a statement. He would have told you that it’s a part of his job and to move on. But again, that was years ago, and this was a completely different Charles. 

The rest of the season came and went, with you and Charles calling, texting, and seeing each other as much as possible with his busy schedule. Before you knew it, he was back in Monaco for the next three months. Going out for coffee, yachting, and clubbing all picked back up. 

One night after going to Jimmy’z with the grid, Charles had walked you home like usual. The only difference was that this time, he was the one who drank a little too much and was stumbling his way to your apartment. 

The two of you got to the lobby of your building, and Charles was getting ready to get himself back to the streets of Monaco to find his way home. You knew you couldn’t leave him like this though. Guilt would consume you if you didn’t know if he was safe. 

“Do you wanna stay the night, Char?” You asked 

His glossy eyes softened at your invitation, as if he knew he couldn’t make it home in the state he was in. “Only if you don’t mind, chérie” He slurred 

“I insist, I need you safe” 

And so the two of you made your way up to your apartment, just like the two of you had done years prior. Except this time, there was no tension between you. No messy makeout session in the elevator, and no plans on what exactly would happen the second you got to your unit. 

Even though drunk Charles argued it to no end, you insisted that he take your bed. He was worse off and needed the better night’s rest. Eventually he obliged, and you found yourself falling asleep on your couch. 

The next morning, you woke suddenly to the clanging of metal. Jolting up from your spot on the couch, you saw Charles frozen in your kitchen with a pan in his hand. 

“I am so sorry” He whispered “I wanted to make you breakfast as a thank you” 

You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. “Only you would even try to cook. Here, let me help you” 

The two of you worked in tandem as you whisked up homemade pancakes for breakfast. As you manned the stove, you found Charles wrapping his arms around your waist. As if it was muscle memory, you leaned into him, getting a whiff of his leftover cologne from the night before. Though you had sworn off getting back with him, maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

SInce that morning, you could tell something had shifted in both of your heads. Charles began to make the hangouts more “date-like” without the label. And even though you had a feeling he was planning something, you didn’t dare question or bring it up. Whatever happens, happens. Remember?

The next week, you found yourself on the rocky cliffs on the outskirts of Monte Carlo with Charles. He had planned a picnic just to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Charles packed your favorite foods and even brought your favorite type of flowers. 

“I can’t believe you remembered all of this” You said as you popped a grape into your mouth 

“I never forgot it, y/n/n” He replied “I know we started this whole ordeal as ‘just friends’ and ‘going with the flow’ but the past few months have been the most amazing months I’ve had in a long time. I was wondering if you felt the same”

Your eyes drifted out to sea as you processed his words, underlying meaning and all. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the past few months. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t falling back in love with your best friend. 

The past still haunted you though. The fear that Charles would flip a switch and the whole ordeal would crash and burn still lingered in your mind. 

But then you turned to face Charles again and saw a completely different man. The man that was sitting in front of you begging for your love was not the same man who had broken your heart years prior. You may have changed and healed from the past, but so did he. 

You broke the silence with a chuckle, catching Charles slightly off guard, “Charl, I’ve had the time of my life getting to know you again. I did miss having you around so much”

Hope sprinkled through Charles’ eyes as he asked the question you were expecting to hear, “So would you be willing to try again? May I be your boyfriend”

“I would love that” You replied but then stuck a finger up “On one condition” 

“Anything, ange”

“This is the last time we’re trying. If it works, we’re staying together. If it doesn’t, I don’t think I can handle being treated like a broken toy again” 

“Deal” He smiled “Anything to make it work this time” 

[emotionaldamages]

Can you make an insta au of Jude and F1 driver gf :")) thank you!!

my girl- jude bellingham

a/n- this one’s a little short, send in more requests 🫶🏼

y/nverstappen

y/nverstappen practice runs

view comments

user I’m obsessed with her

user first formula one female driver is 😫

judebellingham that’s my girl

user I’m obsessed with her and judes relationship

user those eyes

maxverstappen I’ll see you in the track

user her and max being twins and racing on the same team is insane

user her and all the drivers are like everything

charles_leclerc stop throwing me off the track

y/nverstappen has posted a story!

caption {for those who didn’t know😱}

judebellingham babe this is no

you don’t love me 💔

judebellingham ofc I love you just why the photo

maxverstappen you have issues

we literally have the same problems 🤨

judebellingham

judebellingham date night

view comments

user I need a relationship like that

user their adorbs

user can I be the fly on your wall

user guys that’s actually me

y/nverstappen aw ur a softie

user I need a bf

user boo

user my bf needs to step it up

user I’m about to text a stranger just for this

user swap phones

user aw gross🥰

y/nverstappen

y/nverstappen p2 babyy (my brothers a little rat)

view comments

user SHE ATE

user CUTEEES

user her and jude celebrating was so cute

user her shading max is everything

maxverstappen learn to drive

judebellingham the best driver

user her and jude supporting each other is what I want in life

user p2 ALL THE WAYYYY TO p1

user ATEEE THE BOOTS HOUSE DOWN

user NEEDD

user P1 IS UP NEXT

y/nverstappen

y/nverstappen lanachella (no clue how I made time for coachella)

view comments

user the outfit is eating down

user yall are the power couple

user WE LIVE FOR THE OUTFIT Y/N

user she’s adorable

user I MET HER SHES SO SWEET

user I live for them

user I strive to be like her

user I NEED

judebellingham

judebellingham she my gf

view comments

user reminds me of my single days every time

user crying

user ALL I WANT

user that should be meeeeeeeeeee

user I pray to have this

user THIS IS SO CUTE I HATE IT

user me and my bf are like this

user me and my imaginary bf

user I adore this

user what I want

[vii0so]

[BSD 119] Theory/Analysis

"Other Half"

I think this ties into the 'opposites/complements'. Fyodor realised Dazai had Chuya and now he's about to realise Atsushi has Akutagawa (Light & Shadow). He is looking for his 'other half' quite literally - the sole being that will complement his existence.

Basically 2 halves that complete each other. Like a jigsaw puzzle (except it's only 2 puzzle pieces that only fit each other).

Fyodor's comment "even Dazai was not fit to be my other half" could be interpreted as this: 2 puzzle pieces that seem almost identical and look like they would fit, but when you try to connect them you realise there are small differences to the shape.

Meaning, the pieces - no matter what - are not meant for each other. In this example one piece has it's perfect match - the only puzzle piece that will ever be his other half: Dazai has Chuuya.

That leaves Fyodor searching...again (seriously, this guy has lived over 2k years and he is still at square 1). So for now I'd like to assume that Fyodor's realisation that Dazai couldn't be his other half happened during the prison arc. Fyodor had been 'testing' Dazai to see if he was fit for the 'other half' role.

Also, in the end (just before Fyodor's "death") where Dazai reveals that he's alive and that Chuuya was never a vampire, Fyodor's shock seems more on point if you think of it as the reaction of realising Dazai's other half was Chuuya this entire time.

Next part will be about Atsushi in Fyodor's endeavour for his 'other half' and how it involves Akutagawa:

"So, why can Atsushi NOT be Fyodor's other half?"

Glad you (nobody) asked!

...First I'll go on small rant on why it's impossible for our lovely 'bookmark' to be the 2k+ old rat's other half.

Enjoy my constantly changing mind's thoughts :)

█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

What's needed to be the 'other half' of anyone?

Synergy

This is the closest and most(?) accurate word to describe the 'other half' business.

In short, 'synergy' is the interaction of two 'anything' that produce a greater effect together rather than apart.

Think how Akutagawa and Atsushi work better and are stronger when fighting together/ complementing what the other needs (Atsushi using Akutagawa's coat/combining abilities is an excellent example of this) rather than when fighting alone.

"So, their abilities being compatible is all they need to be the 'other half'?"

...Well no

Synergy isn't just about abilities, it's about effect.

Imagine you have a fire...ok good, now think of something that would make the flame rage higher - destroy more...do you have it, good

I have no idea what you thought of and it doesn't matter (maybe this whole thing wasn't a good example...). Well I thought of gasoline. You know the "don't add fuel to fire" saying?...ok.

Now think of Dazai and Chuuya for a moment (shouldn't I be talking about Aku n Sushi???)

Hypothetical scenario:

Chuya starts a fire (small, like a campfire or smth).

Then Dazai comes along and pours gasoline where the fire is.

Well...it's interesting right? (you're getting sidetracked!) oh.

Basically that's 'effect' (cause and effect - gasoline and raging fire)

So synergy = effect(a) + effect(b) = cause = effect(c)

(I really hope this makes sense to you who somehow found this)

effect(a) = first half (FH)

effect(b) = other half (OH)

cause = e(a) + e(b)

effect(c) = FH + OH = Best performance, Godly power, and more.

We continue ;-;

I wanted to sidetrack and explain soukoku's synergy/other half bs but I need to get back to our (often forgotten) protagonist and his edgy bf...So off we go!

Ok, finally back on track! ...(did you forget where we left off?)

Here! "So, why can Atsushi NOT be Fyodor's other half?"

███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

2. Fyodor's obsession with the 'bookmark'/Atsushi's ability.

I could be done by just saying: "abusive relationship" but I won't...I'm too far in to stop now.

Let's start by seeing everything right with 'other halves':

Synergy: When they are alone, they are a pebble, but when they're together, they are a dual piloted mecha that in theory can kill a god...In short, they work best when together.

Ability compatibility/harmonisation

Essentially soulmates (the literal tied-together-by- the-soul type): will only ever have this synergy with their other half. Meaning the full potential of their power will never be understood/unlocked unless done with their other half.

Literal other half: basically all I've said above. Their puzzle piece only fits with their other half.

█████▒▒▒▒▒

⋘ ERROR ⋙

⋘ [Brain] is not responding ⋙

⋘ Ｒｅｓｔａｒｔｉｎｇ．．． ⋙

Ok...let's get back to the main Question:

"Why can Atsushi NOT be Fyodor's other half?"

I'll get straight to the point:

There is no synergy

They are not destined/fated

They don't help each other

Fyodor only wants to use him as the bookmark

Fyodor is aware that Atsushi is not his other half (he called Atsushi his "remaining option") but is still forcing it upon him.

You can't force someone to be your other half. It's a soulmate thing.

Fyodor is looking for godly power, not a companion/partner (not meant romantically).

Fyodor won't be able to do what he wants anyway because there is no synergy in play here. (maybe he'll use the 'page' to force it, but it probably won't work. He could also try getting Aku to kill him and then steal his body, but I still don't think it'll work)

And the last and most important point is:

Atsushi has Akutagawa

███████▒▒▒

Akutagawa is Atsushi's other half. Therefore no matter what Fyodor does, he will never be able to fit Atsushi's puzzle piece.

I considered writing down why Aku is Sushi's other half based on their abilities, but maybe it'll be in a seperate post. For now here are the main points:

Darkness and Light

Yin and Yang motif

Like, I'm sure most people are aware, these two might as well be the definition of this motif.

"Yin and yang can be thought of as complementary and at the same time opposing forces that interact to form a dynamic system in which the whole is greater than the assembled parts and the parts are important for cohesion of the whole." Georges Ohsawa. (1976). The unique principle : the philosophy of macrobiotics. George Ohsawa Macrobiotic Foundation.

Just realised this is the same as the synergy I was talking about earlier...Oh well, I guess it all ties together in the end! :D

██████████ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!

Here is the TLDR:

Fyodor is looking for some form of ultimate power, so he needs a 'other half'.

Dazai has Chuuya so Fyodor chose to instead pursue a literal God-like being - The Bookmark: Atsushi.

Atsushi's other half is Akutagawa, so Fyodor can't have him anyway.

Yin and Yang is an important motif in this whole other half business.

[quantum-moss]

Spoilers for the pitstop update!!! Look away!!!

Guys. Guys. Chat I dont think you actually understand how obsessed I am with this fuckass update. Like you're kidding. YOU'RE KIDDING?????????????????????/ YOURE FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT???

OTIS. THEY PUT OTIS IN THIS GAME. FUCKING OTIS??????????????????????????????? I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS FOR ME. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS FOR ME I HAVE BEEN ATTACHED TO THIS GUY FOR LIKE MONTHS. MONTHS. I HAVE SCREENSHOT PROOF OF ME BEING OBSESSED WITH THIS GUY. HE HAS LIVED IN MY MIND RENT. FREE. HIS VERY BEING WAS THE GOD DAMN RENT OKAY??? I HAVE ALWAYS HAD AN ATTACHMENT TO THIS FUCKER. I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN WHY. AND THEY PUT HIM IN THE GAME. IN ONE OF THE BEST SONGS EVER MADE. FOR THE GAME????????????? WHAT STRESS PICO MIX MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER ADDED TO THIS GAME I AM NOT JOKING. FROM THE SONG TO THE CHARACTERS TO THE MID SONG DIALOGUE AND THE END THIS HAS QUICKLY BECOME ONE OF MY FAVORITE PICO MIXES IF NOT ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS IN THE ENTIRE GAME. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT COMES TOGETHER TO CREATE GENUINE PEAK AND I CAN'T EVEN LIE I STARTED TWEAKING. I FULL ON CRASHED OUT. AND THIS LITTLE SHIT IS THE MAIN REASON. I WAS EXPECTING DARNELL. I HAD HOPES FOR CASS. OOMF SAID BF OR EVEN ANOTHER PICO LIKE WEEK 3. ALL REASONABLE, NOTHING, AND I MEAN NOTHING WAS PREPARING ME FOR OTIS. I WENT IN BLIND AND WAS JUMPED. God I can't even try to construct real reasons as to why I adore this fucking mix without tweaking. Like people who have seen me gush about Otis they know my love for this blue scrawny rat. I saw this ugly thing MONTHS ago and went "yeah... Yeah I like you." BUT I ALWAYS HAD THE THOUGHT HE WOULD NEVER COME TO THE GAME. HE WAS KNOWN BUT I JUST ALWAYS THOUGHT "Nah it could never happen..." NOW LOOK. LOOK AT HIM THEN LOOK AT ME. I WAS IN TEARS WHEN I SAW THIS I WISH WE RECORDED MY CRASH OUT I AM NOT JOKING. HE'S IN THE GAME AND IM GONNA BE GTWEAKING THE FUCK OUT FOR THE NEXT WEEK AT LEAST. THIS IS ACTUALLY EVERYTHING I WANTED "Oh it's just a few mixes it can't be too crazy" - says the guy who's absolutely unaware, unknowing, and unprepared.

[theoneandonlysemla]

Sujamma Sundas!

Thank you for the tag @skyrim-forever 💞

Tagging: @dirty-bosmer @friend-of-giants @firefly-factory @illumiera @hircines-hunter @lillxart @ladytanithia @pocket-vvardvark @rakaiawriter @sheirukitriesfandom @sanza-17

Topic: This week, Sujamma wants to know about YOUR OC's special someone. What makes their relationship special? How did they meet? Were they enemies to lovers? Lovers to enemies? Lovers AND Enemies? Are they romantic or platonic? What's their favorite way to cuddle? Favorite date night? Anything and everything you can think of 💕

Ohhh, do I need to decide who I'll be talking about here? Can I talk about all my main couples? :P

Let's start with Nevri and Morotar. What makes them special is him being a detestable cunt and her being the one to hit him on the head for it. They actually got to know each other because he saved her and Canmal's life when they were attacked by Boethiah's cultist. Back then he was "a mercenary" and travelled with them back to Winterhold, where they decided to hire him for getting Goldbrand. And while travelling, Nevri did fall for his looks and cunty character and the rare times he can be nice :P (She's vulnerable, okay??) One thing comes to another and after they got closer, everything falls apart. With DwD 2 their story goes on, Morotar has a severe loss of memories but as their paths cross again, he does one thing: he knows her. A lot of pushing away from her follows until they do get closer again (she has good reason for that) while he will utterly fall for her 😩❤️ I don't know how their story will end and what will come of them, but I love to picture them together in a calm future. Anyway, I guess they go like: strangers -> reluctant friends -> lovers -> enemies -> strangers -> whatever the fuck that mess is they are in in part 2 Thinking about it, they'd love to cuddle in a bed and have their peace together and I often picture how Nevri washes his hair and he does enjoy that so much because someone cares for him. Their idea of a date night might be sparring or something :P

Going on with my favourite toxic couple: Ancano and Faralda! These two idiots started out as... let's call it colleagues and the entire thing became a secret work place romance at the College of Winterhold. Until Ancano's toxic ass fucked up big time after gaslighting the shit out of Faralda and cheated on her with Nirya. Nirya does thing she has won, but ... the price is foul🤢 Anyway, they do have a toxic rebound after Ancano got stabbed by a certain Dunmer woman mentioned in the text before. For Faralda is really is the last time this has happened, until she sees him being a yearning mess for her and decides to play with him. Currently, we're at the phase where her sadism really spirals out of control (good for her). As they do not have a traditional relationship, I'd say their idea of a date is a little strange. Ancano would like to have her only for him and longs for her attention. He'd cuddle with her after sex, to keep the appearance that it means more to him but he's not really a cuddler. After he cheated in her, Faralda does want to cuddle with anyone but him :P Her perfect idea of a date is her throwing rocks at him ❤️

And here we are with my most fucked up couple, that is poor Ria and Mannimarco. Hell, she chose the worst man. But my bf likes to argue that Ancano is worse because he's racist and Mannimarco is too egocentric to be really racist 😆 Well, let's see. She is absolute delulu and unhappy in the place she is now, serving a group of men (ew) in a dilapitating fort. And there comes her worm knight in shining armour... or red cloak... to her rescue. He infiltrates her brain until she falls for him and she is absolutely and utterly in love with him. Too bad that he sees her as his little experiment. But that does not hold him back from fucking the lab rat. He's nasty like that ❤️ You could say, it is a very romantic gothic horror lovestory that I'm crafting there and so their ideal date would be basically what I've written in chapter two, just having sex in a fairy ring under the moonlight. And for Manni it may include feeding her corpses and counting how many maggots he can pull out of her orifices. Well... yeah. That's that!

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 5 I LOVE YOU vs. CAT

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for I LOVE YOU:

mappi’s spitting bars 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️

ok but i, as the iloveyoucountdown person before it released, waited 89 days for ily and SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥 go vote ily now bc its peak music

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the acoustic section where it just feels so raw and emotional it's crazy also we love to see mappi/miho okasaki rapping again and good lord mahiru delivered hadauwd, like you think about it a lot? like "Ishokujuu plus ai Miss you Raishuu aemasuka no Cadence Yurusarenai ikigai mou iki mo dekinai" it's also so catchy just "Dai- dai- dai- datte suki suki! Dai- dai- dai- datte daisuki."

it's such a quick song but it delivers and it DELIVERS WELL there's so much in the instrumental you can also miss, like sirens and such! again guitar section it's crazy!! i didn't even touch on the visuals, like the visuals are absolutely amazing and really touch on the toxic cycle of mahiru's relationship for example, the carousel turning into a forest! and also they were still able to implement some of tihtbilwy in the beginning of the song! we got to see mahiru's boyfriend as well!! additionally, RATS AND CAKE. HOLY SHIT we all know the absolute shock that appeared on everyone's faces the second that cake turned into a rat (to be honest, I was absolutely sick with shock for the rest of the day) It's really amazing as a song and MV, plus it did help give some more information on Mahiru!

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miho okasaki's vocals are so powerful. it sounds like mahiru is screaming because of not being forgiven and because of what happened to her boyfriend and because "she can't just do it right".

THE LYRICS ARE SO. "clothes food shelter + love and miss you"?? "my lethal weapon is how to be in love with you"?? "kiss goodbye to this feeling cuz it's too heavy"?? again, the "why can't i just do it right" line?? SO GOOD.

MAHIRU RAPPING. THIS SONG STARTS WITH HER RAPPING. LITERAL CHILLS

i've heard the i love you chorus once and now it's in my head forever. i wake up, i sing the i love you chorus. i go to sleep, i sing the i love you chorus.

the lyrics are so sad when you start thinking about them more. "saying i love you but doing what i did, i know i have no right, crossed and covered in sin"?? please, don't you want to give mappi a hug. please she deserves it. she needs it

the "DIE-suki" pun.

the mv is so. i can talk about it for hours. it literally starts with showing us what happened to her bf. i've watched it live, i knew about this part and i still was shocked. mahiru's boyfriend is dead. mahiru is also rapping. also, the lyrics. this scene is terrifying to me and i mean it in the best way possible.

the cake symbolism. mahiru refusing to accept her reality and the true nature of her relationship with her bf and still seeing everything around her as cute and soft and pink. her feeling guilty and not knowing how to express love properly and still choosing to continue to love in this way. i don't know, something about it is so.. it's so sad and so realistic and so heartbreaking

i love how we can say so much about her relationship with her boyfriend based on mv and the lyrics. this is more of a theory and i probably shouldn't talk about it but i like the fact that mappi and her bf's relationship wasn't just abusive or one-sided love or anything like that. it's like they loved each other, they just.. didn't know how to show it or express it in a healthy way (or maybe mahiru's bf did know, but he was okay with going through all of this for her). like this scene when they're both riding the carousel and looking happy at first and even when both of them look like a mess, mahiru's face expression is still pretty much the same while her boyfriend looks much more tired, but he's still smiling. something about that part breaks me.

the instrumental is so fun and chaotic and creepy please listen to it. all milgram instrumentals are great but ily instrumental is definitely one of my fav ones.

Propaganda for CAT:

"You like jazz? Jazz is chaos within order. Got to love the whole band. Vibraphone, saxophone, trumpet, flute, piano, guitar, drums, bass… Go, rhythm section, go! The song sounds tender at times and aggressive at others as different instruments pop up at different times. Sometimes they follow Kazui’s voice (“follow the king of the masquerade”). Sometimes they get to be the focus. You have the chill piano one moment and the screaming guitar in the next.

You’ve got a lovely “jingle” (“Lie until it gets better…”) which occurs at the beginning, middle, and end. It fits the “newspaper ad” style of the video really well. Also at the very end, there’s one more line that gives the jingle an upward contour, giving a sense of finality. “Until you can meet the king of the masquerade.” You’re there now.

The two verses start off differently before they take on a similar melody. It feels like Kazui is talking to a different person in each verse.

The chorus is a beautiful façade the first time and a sinister truth the second time.

The opening for solos shows that this jazz song means business. I love how the saxophone and trumpet especially get in your face. And with the tacet on vocals, the walking bass really shines if you lend it your ear.

And the smoke break! Silence is golden. Glass click. Lighter. Huff.

As always, Kazui’s voice is super deep. He hits even lower notes this time around. He’s a fifth lower than the next lowest singers (Haruka and Shidou)."

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-Great instrumental choice. Kazui and jazz is *chefs kiss*

-Symbolism. THE SYMBOLISM. I can’t type out all my thoughts but ifykyk

-The almost comic like style of the MV is really appealing.

-Lyrics!! There is so much to unpack but it’s really cool.

-Kazui eating the dove… fricken iconic.

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FIRST OF ALL the vocals????? BEAUTIFUL. His va put his whole pussy into this song and you can tell!! The way he sings the chorus is so damn addicting I'm so in love with him. His voice is more or less stable throughout the entire thing until the final chorus but you can hear the emotion peaking out which fits perfectly with Kazui keeping everything hidden. The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper during "all the things I wanna do that I can't say outloud"??? The way his voice starts trembling during "this feeling it's yearning to be satisfied"???? The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper AND starts trembling during "hey, if I said I liked-liked you, what would you?"?????? HEAVENLY! You can really feel how afraid Kazui is under his disguise and my heart breaks a little everytime I listen. Not to mention how absolutely powerful his voice gets at the climax!!!!!! It's insane!!!!!!! It's genius!!!!!! It makes me wild makes me crazy makes me eat my walls!!!!!!!!!!

THE SMOKE BREAK?????? What other song has something as powerful as that huh???? This isn't just a song produced by the milgram machine using his memories, this is HIS song and he is OWNING IT! The music builds up so much and gets so intense right before it, I can literally feel myself get tense and starting holding my breath right before he takes the break and everything relaxs… it's not just a break for him, but a break for the viewer. The song is spiralling out of control just like his life and his lies and he has no choice but to put it to a quick stop before its too much to handle.

THE IMAGERY IS WILD!!!!! He's a magician!!! Little magic guy!!!! Using tricks and lies to amaze and captivate the people around him! Trying desperately to magic his own feelings into something else! But it's all fake! It's all tricks and no matter how hard he tries he can never actually change himself into what he wants! But he's trying to convince himself the same way he's convinced his audience!! And when you're watching a magic act, are you there for the magician themself or are you there to watch the show?? The people in his life only cared for him when he performed for them, but they didn't give a drop of love to who he was a person! ALSO the transformation of the wedding ring to a cigarette to the dove at the end??? Makes me wild every single time! Right infront of his wife, he showed her that their marriage was something unhealthy for him that was slowly killing him from the inside. AND THEN he uses it to harm himself???? And then he turns that cigarette into a dove- a representation of love and literally TEARS INTO IT. He tears his marriage apart with his mouth!!! AKA HIS WORDS. makes me wild. Also fun fact Kazui says he started smoking because when he was younger it was "just natural for everyone to smoke" and that lines up with his reasons for marriage perfectly.

Kazui looks really hot in it. You should vote for Cat because Kazui is insanely attractive. What other reason do you need huh? Hot gay middle aged man.

[ch0rds0fsteel]

Claypollo hcs and other things idk

I need to yap so im listing everything i got of Claypollo because they ruin my life and they never leave my head:

Clay and Apollo cuddle most of the time when they get the chance to see eachother, since Clay is away from home (Clay just sees Apollo and hugs him like a koala)

When they were kids, Clay had a huge crush for Apollo, of course, Apollo was clueless of such thing

Apollo learn to dance because of Clay (Cheesy bf)

Apollo is the only one who knows how Clay really is (In terms of speaking when he is home, he is extremely lazy to be a gym rat lol)

Clay loves Apollo's cooking (Even tho Apollo doesnt cook anymore since he got no time to do so)

As kids, everyone thought they were dating cuz they were always holding hands

Surprisingly, Apollo was the one who confess despite Clay's huge crush for him

Everyone thinks Apollo is so introverted, but with Clay he is a different person (Only with him he lets his guard down)

So this happen, Clay used to be introverted and shy, Apollo was bold and extroverted as kids. As adults, they are the opposite lol

They hide their relationship from others (and Clay bring it to his grave...)

Methinks they were roommates (omg they were roommates...)

When they were kids, whenever Apollo mention the stars or moon, Clay would yap about everything he knew of space until he goes quiet of embarrassment. Apollo doesnt mind it because it was hard to make Clay talk sometimes

Songs that remind me of Claypollo:

(4 of 5 songs are angst forgive me)

Fly me to the moon - Yoko Takahashi (The one from Neon genesis evangelion teehee)

Without you - Casey Lee Williams

And then you became the moon - KIKUO (For some reason it makes me think of them)

My Immortal - Evanescence

Love like you - Steven Universe

Ship troupes i think it fits Claypollo:

Starcrossed lovers

Friendly rivalry (I got an explanation as to why)

Married but they act like homies (LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH)

Roommates (Classic)

Sun and Moon

Secret Relationship

Doomed romance (I mean they pretty much are so lol)

Sea and Moon (Might not be a real trope but think about it like this, the sea and the moon are far away from eachother. That's how far Apollo's love for Clay is now that he is... Gone.)

My opinion on Claypollo:

CRAZY SHIP IT RUINED MY LIFE !! /Silly

We know little of Clay yes but despite that, it shows that He and Apollo were extremely close, hearing an "Im fine!" Of either of them would bright up their day and make them choose the right decisions. Clay was the only person who stayed loyal to Apollo, who didnt lie to him, betray him, etc. Clay was everything Apollo had when it come to people he trust, most of the people he trust betray him or use him (For the case of Dhurke, Apollo thinks He abandon Him). I think Apollo deals with Abandonment issues (It's so implied tbh) and Clay knew that, so, in order to protect Apollo he didnt tell Him about the whole "secret mission" he was in because of Yuri Cosmos, to not made him worry. Maybe things would had been different if Clay told him the truth? Who knows..

Methinks Apollo couldnt dare to use his bracelet around Clay (I said this before) because, what does Clay have to hide anyway? There wasnt a thing he had to hide to Him? Right?

I just think they were extremely sweet and supportive to eachother and the tooth rotting fluff (And the sweet angst) is so much to me that it makes me so happy when i see them like "Claypollo yay!!"

I love my doomed yaoi they are dear to me