#i remember finding a chocolate egg in the washing machine

[isabela-merceds]

for clarification: parents hid chocolate eggs, or plastic eggs with candy, or real eggs around the house/garden on easter sunday.

[cowboybarzy]

easter egg hunt

mat barzal x reader

word count: 659

note: forgot to post this on Sunday, so happy belated Easter. I’ll also be mia for the next few days and I’ll be swamped with finals :( but if you have any requests, I’m hoping to post more next week (those who sent in requests last week) and I’ll definitely have the time after next Tuesday!!

“Maty, wake up”, you whispered and continued shaking him at his shoulder. “Wake up. The Easter bunny was here.”

He stirred and rolled to his back. His eyes fluttered open to you grinning above him. “Morning.”

“Good morning.” You pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“Did you say something about the Easter bunny?” Your grin widened again. “Yeah, I just went to get some water and saw a bunch of Easter eggs hidden all over the place.”

“Come on! We don’t want all the chocolate to melt.” You jumped out of bed and held out a little basket for him. “Good luck.” He got up laughing and accepted the basket from you. “I would start in the living room.”

So you made your way out of your bedroom into the living room. You had hidden little chocolate eggs and candies along the way, some in obvious spots, others in more challenging places. But it wasn’t just candy and chocolate, you had also hidden little random presents that reminded you of Mat. It brought you a lot of joy seeing Mat walk around the apartment with a pink bucket picking up little Easter eggs.

“Ok, I think you found everything except for one thing”, you said eventually when his bucket was getting full.

“Babe, this is way too much. You didn’t have to do this.”

“Well good thing I didn’t then. It was the Easter bunny.” He laughed in response and wrapped an arm around you. “Ok here’s a clue: that’s where things are cleaned.”

He frowned. “I already checked both bathrooms. Hm. The kitchen too.” He walked back into the kitchen though and checked the cabinets and dishwasher again.

“Nope. You barely use it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Think about it. Where do we wash things? And you make me do it most of the time?” You laughed at his offended face.

“Hey! I do laundry.”

“Oh really? When’s the last time you did it?”

“Uh, I don’t know, just a few weeks ago.” You laughed again, knowing it had been at least a few months.

“Ok then, let’s see if you remember how to open the washing machine.”

“You’re mean”, he said and made an adorable sad face.

“Aw. Here, eat some chocolate, it’ll make you feel better.” You offered him a chocolate egg and a kiss, both of which he happily accepted. Then he made his way to the laundry room to find his final present. He came back smiling like a little kid, already stuffing his face with the chocolate he just got.

When he found you in the kitchen, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tightly to him. “You’re the best. This was fun. I don’t even remember the last Easter egg hunt we had. Now I feel bad I didn’t get you anything though.” But seeing him happy was all you really needed. Plus, you had bought yourself some chocolate, too.

“It’s ok, I had fun doing this. And watching you with that pink bucket was all I needed.” He smiled, before lowering his lips on yours.

“I love you.” He kissed you again and again until both of you were breathless.

Then you got started on making breakfast. You made pancakes, while Mat prepared a smoothie for the both you. He had to leave for practice a while later and when he came home he got a big bouquet of pink and white tulips that looked absolutely beautiful on the dining table. You spent the rest of the day together, going on a walk to enjoy the warmer weather and then at night you cooked a nice meal together. And while you were sad you weren’t able to spend the day with your family that lived far away, you were still extremely happy that you were able to spend it with Mat, who you already considered family.

[shiftylookingcrow]

A (not comprehensive) List of Little Self Care Things I Do When Everything Feels Like Too Much:

Bathing

Wash just your body, or just your hair. You may not be completely clean, but you ARE cleaner

Still feels like too much? No problem!

Take off any jewelry from your hands/wrists and wash your hands up to your elbows, just taking your time

Then wash your arm pits and groin, those are the stinkiest parts of the body

If you're feeling up to it, wash your face too

Once you're done washing, take your favorite body lotion and massage it in anywhere you washed

Shaving

Shaving takes time and patience (especially if you prefer to be mostly hairless), but you don't have to go through the whole process every time

Wanna wear that cute tank top/crop top but don't feel comfortable with how hairy your pits are today?

JUST shave your arm pits then

Wanna wear shorts/capries/a skirt, but feel your legs are too fuzzy?

Where on your legs do the cuffs/hem sit? JUST shave from there down

Facial hair looking kinda scruffy? Got an electric shaver? It won't give you as close a shave as a razor, but it'll help neaten you up a bit

After any shaving, get back in there with your lotion and work it in well

Laundry

Don't have the energy to drag that big basket you've been avoiding down to the washing machine? Out of clothes but need something to wear tomorrow?

Wash ONLY what you'll need for the next 1 or 2 days. A smaller load means less to put away after

Need a bra/binder/mask/etc for tomorrow? Wash ONE, then hang it to dry with a fan blowing on it.

The air movement will help it dry faster, and while it may not be 100% dry by morning, it should be dry enough to wear comfortably

This can be done for underwear and socks as well

Dental

Mouth feeling like sandpaper, but you still can't find it in you to go through the whole tooth care routine?

JUST brush your teeth before bed. You can floss in the morning

No energy to get in there and really scrub like your dentist told you to? Even just a quick scrub is better than nothing

You know those little Gum brand toothpick things? With runber bristles on them? They can't replace proper flossing, but the CAN at least get the worst of the gunk from between your teeth

Food

Hungry but can't bring yourself to put together a whole meal? That's okay!

Get all the fixings for a sandwich (bread, spreads, cheese, meat, etc), put them on a plate and eat that. You're still eating a sandwich, it's just not an assembled sandwich

Want a smoothy, but don't want to fuss with the blender? Put it all together as a yogurt bowl instead

Want a salad? Grab a couple lettuce leaves, a stick of celery, half a tomato, or whatever else you'd have in there, and toss it on a plate. Grab some dressing (or not) and you've got a personal size veggie platter

Cut an orange in half and eat the pulp out with a spoon

Cut an apple in half, and eat JUST one half. You can save the other half for later, or eat it right after the first if you feel up to it

Cutting a banana in half and squeezing out the fruit means you don't have to worry about those gross stringy bits

Simple Smoothie Recipe:

1 banana

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp honey/sugar

Milk (dairy, soy, almond, whichever)

Berries, yogurt, chocolate chips, jam (optional)

Directions

Put all ingredients except milk in a blender (or 4 cup measure if using a hand mixer)

Pour in milk until ingredients are ALMOST covered. There should be about 1 inch/2.5 cm of solid ingredients visible

Blender/mix for 30-60 seconds, or until desired consistency. Pour into your favorite glass, or drink straight from the container

Simple baked potato:

Clean a medium to large potato and use a fork to stab holes down the sides and at each end. Depending on the size, you should have stab your potato somewhere around 9-12 times.

Place the potato in the microwave just off of center, one end facing the center of the spinning plate

Microwave for 15 minutes, flipping the potato end for end after every 5 minutes

Put the potato on a plate with some sour cream or ranch dressing, and dip it like a big ol' french fry

House Cleaning

Feel like there's too many dishes? Pick ONE place setting (bowl, plate, knife, fork, spoon, cup), and ONE pot/pan, and clean those. Do the same at the end of each meal, and while it might take a while, you'll eventually get things down to a manageable level

Dust bunnies breeding in the corners? Pick ONE room or hallway every couple days and just clean there. ONE clean room is better than NO clean rooms

Your room is so messy you don't know where to start? Every time you enter your room, put ONE thing back where it belongs. Every time you leave your room, take one thing that doesn't belong out with you and put it where it belongs.

Sink looking kind of gross? Give it a quick wipe down the next time you wash your hands

Toilet needs a clean? Pick a part (lid, seat, back or bowl) and just clean that bit. Even if you're just wiping some of the dust off the back.

Scum ring building up in the shower/bathtub? Give it a quick scrub next time you bathe. Maybe you don't get the whole thing, but you DID make a start.

Fitness

No energy for a full walk? If you can, walk around your house/apartment building. You might not have gone far, but you were UP and you were OUTSIDE.

Can't get out for whatever reason? Are there stairs in your house? In your apartment building? If you can, walk up and down those a few times.

Not really able to do stairs? Do some simple stretches instead.

Reach down and try to touch your toes, holding for 20 seconds. Reach up over your head as high as you can, holding for 20 seconds. Repeat 5 times

Sitting in a chair, reach your right hand across your body and over your left shoulder and try to grab the back of the chair without lifting your butt. Hold for 20 seconds. Do the same with your left arm, holding for 20 seconds. Repeat 5 times

Standing, or sitting on a chair, gently pull your head towards your shoulder (right hand, right shoulder; left hand, left shoulder), reaching the other hand down towards the ground. Hold for 20 seconds, then gently push your head upright again (lifting your head with just your neck muscles can cause them to seize after a stretch). Repeat 5 times

Miscellaneous

Need to trim your nails, but don't feel like sitting through both hands? Pick one finger on each hand, and just trim that nail. Do another nail on each hand tomorrow, and another the day after that. You don't have to do them all at once

Having trouble remembering to drink enough water? Find a water bottle/mug/glass that you like and try to keep it near you as much as possible. I find actually having a bottle with me helps me remember to keep sipping.

Still having trouble with your water intake? Fruit and veggies (specifically like apples, oranges, tomatoes, bell peppers and avocados to name a few) have high water content and can help keep you hydrated

Even if you can't get to sleep, lieing in bed with your eyes closed is more restful than trying to wear yourself out by reading or something

Alternatively, doing some mild stretches, or a few sit ups/push ups/jumping jacks can help wear you out without engaging your brain too much

You are aloud to say "no". You don't even need to give a reason. If everything feels like too much, taking on more responsibility will only make it worse, which will only make your output poorer as a result.

A reminder that this is by no means a complete list, just some things I've found helpful in my journey through adhd, depression, and anxiety. Not all tasks need to be done all at once. Maybe you can't do much, but that doesn't invalidate the some you did. Just because you take longer to do a task doesn't mean your bad at it, or that it isn't worth doing. You'll get there when you get there.

Please feel free to add to this post, I'd love to see what self care tricks other people are using!

[anagentinwriting]

Lifeline - Part 15

Summary: (First Responders!AU) Moving to Los Angeles and living with your brother, Thor, was never part of your plan nor was being a 9-1-1 dispatcher, but plans change when you are faced with your own emergencies. In your case, it was leaving behind a relationship that wasn’t as perfect as it seemed. Will this be the fresh start you were hoping for or will your past find a way to catch up with you?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Odinson!Sister Reader

Word Count: 4800+

Warnings: Fluff, angst, language, fighting

Lifeline Masterlist / Main Masterlist

“Okay, girl. Let’s move onto your two-three combo, and then you are going to come at me with a right hook as if it was your ex’s face,” Val instructed, holding up her mitts.

You dropped your hands, looking at her. “I’m not doing this because I want to kick his abusive ass. I am doing this for me. To build up my confidence and get stronger.”

“Yeah, yeah. You just want to look good naked for Rogers.” She wiggled her eyebrows, and you started punching the mitts. “Thata girl, I knew I could hit a nerve,” she chuckled to herself. 

You completed a few more rounds, then Val decided it was time for a cool down. You nodded, breathing heavy, and stepped out of the ring. You wiped the sweat from your brow with your forearm while Val came over to help get you out of the gloves. 

“You’re killing it, YN. Like, if someone ever decided to jump you, well, I think they would lose a hand.”

You chuckled at Val’s compliment. “Thanks, I do feel more confident in my movements, and my punches feel like they have more power behind them.”

“They do,” she agreed, “but it’s not hard enough to make me need to ice my hands or anything, like some of the coaches have to do when M’Baku is practicing.” She raised her eyebrows, shaking her head. “Men always have to be the strongest, but they’re not always the smartest.” She let out an annoyed sigh, rolling her eyes. “How are things with Rogers?”

You smiled as she started to untie your other glove. “He’s good. I think we’re good. Why, what’s the gossip at the station?”

“There’s not much. He tends to keep to himself about you, but there are times when he does get all flustered, blushy, and red when we pick on him about you. It’s cute,” Val smirked, eyeing you over, feeling yourself have the same reaction as him. “Have you two kindled the flame yet?” She wiggled her eyebrows, making your face heat up even more. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you chuckled, shaking your head. 

“Don’t tell me then,” she winked. “When Carol and I talk about you two, we think you two look good together, and from what you both have been through, you both deserve a win, and I’m happy you two found each other.”

You smiled, undoing the hand wraps. “Thanks, Val. Speaking of Carol--” you peeked up at her, watching her closely “--how are things? Have you told the crew yet?”

“Not yet, but I am sure most of them already suspect something is going on?” Val shrugged, taking a sip out of her water bottle. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure. I mean, they’re men,” you chuckled, rotating your wrists back and forth.

“Good point,” she laughed, tilting her water bottle at you. “They can be a little slower at picking up hints.”

____________

You sat on the couch folding laundry, following a developing armed robbery happening downtown at the Ideal Federal Saving Bank. 

“Christine, how are things looking there? Have any of the robbers been identified?” Megan Henderson asked from the KTLA studio to Christine Everheart at the scene. 

“Yes, Megan. We know two of the assailants at this time, Jack Rollins and Jasper Sitwell. They are two notorious criminals who have been involved in numerous robberies throughout the state of California, Nevada, and Arizona. We are still unsure about the three other associates assisting with this robbery at this time…”

The monitor by the front door started buzzing, pulling you away from the screen to see who was there. You smiled at the screen, seeing Thor waving at the camera with his hands full of groceries, and you buzzed him in. 

You walked over to grab the remote, seeing the film crew circling the bank in a helicopter, and switched off the tv. You would need Thor's full attention when he helps you make your mom's chocolate chip cookies for fire safety at the station tomorrow. 

“Sister, I come bearing gifts,” Thor shouted, somehow being able to open the front door with his hands full. “And did you see that robbery hostage situation--” he pointed in the direction to downtown LA “--Nat and Clint have their hands full with this one.”

“Yeah, they do,” you agreed, leading Thor to the kitchen to drop off the bags on the counter. You furrowed your brows at the multiple bags of groceries. “What did you all get? All I needed was flour, chocolate chips, and eggs.”

“They were having a sale, and I couldn’t resist.” He lifted up a six-pack of beer, smiling like a child on their birthday.

“Well, that’s not going to take you long to finish,” you smirked at him, pulling groceries from the bags.

“No, I got this for us to drink while we bake mom’s cookies,” Thor added with a sincere smile, scratching his beard. “You know brother-sister bonding. I also grabbed snacks, so we are less tempted to eat all the cookies.” 

You grinned, staring at him in awe. “Sounds like fun, let’s get these cookies started.”

“And I’ll open a beer for you and supervise,” Thor added, going into the drawer to get the bottle opener, and you narrowed your eyes at him.

___________

“Are you sure you’re doing it right?” Thor watched over your shoulders while you started creaming the butter and sugar together. “I don’t remember mom using one of these fancy mixers. She did it with one of those hand mixer thingies.”

“It just makes it go quicker,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “And you can do a bigger batch.”

“They’re not going to taste the same.”

“This is how I’ve always made them. You have literally watched me make these cookies with this machine before.”

“Oh well, I noticed they tasted different.”

“You’re insufferable, Thor,” you stated, turning around and pushing him to the other side of the counter. He laughed, taking a seat on the stool across from you.  “Do you want to find my cookie scoop? You’re scooping once I have everything mixed.”

“Finnneee,” he dragged out, complaining. He went over to the drawer and pulled out the scoop, and returned to the stool. “How have things been going with Steve?”

“It’s been fun,” you smiled, adding the eggs to the mixer bowl and turning it on.

“I’m glad. I’m the one who told Steve he could date you.”

“Wait,” you narrowed your eyes at him, “did he ask for permission?”

“No, I just told him that if I had to choose someone from the station to date you, I’d pick him.”

“Oooooh, so you picked him for me?” You scoffed, eyeing him while you added the dries in a little at a time.

“No, no, nothing like that. You can make your own decisions, but you’re a good person, and I wanted you to be with a good man. Besides, Steve is an old fashion guy, and with Dad not around anymore to ask, I figured I was the next best choice since I am the eldest.”

“And Loki was okay with your decision.” You scraped the bowl, adding in the chocolate chips and turning the mixer back on. 

“Well...I didn't ask him per se, but I think he would agree with me on this,” Thor stated, taking a sip of his beer.

“But, when have either of you agreed on anything...ever?” You turned off the machine, taking the bowl off, and started scraping the dough off the paddle. “Besides, you know I can make my own decisions right. I’m an adult.”

“Yes, of course,” he chuckled, playing around with the cookie scoop until it flew out of his hand and skimmed across the kitchen island. “Of course.” He nodded. 

“Says the man child, playing with a cookie scoop,” you snorted, shaking your head.

The last batch of cookies was in the oven, and the rest were cooling on sheets of newspaper. It wasn’t uncommon for you to get a few stares when you made cookies with an audience, but every time you made them with your mom, she’d use a spatula to get them off the pan and then place them on newspaper. You didn’t want to break that little tradition you got from her. 

Thor plopped down on a stool at your small island. “Why did I have to scoop them all?” Thor asked, taking a sip of his beer. 

“They’re for your job, I’m not going to do all the work,” you sassed, shaking your head, forcing him to crack a side smile. “Now you wash, and I’ll dry.”

“Do I have to? I just sat down,” he asked with a slight frown.

“Yes,” you stated as he groaned, standing up and making his way to the sink. 

He let out a loud sigh, turning on the faucet, and narrowing his eyes in your direction. You stuck out your tongue at him while you continued to put ingredients away. He sighed loudly again, and you gave him the side-eye as he leaned against the counter, watching the suds magically appear in the water. “I’m happy for you.”

“Okay?” You replied more in a question than a statement. You narrowed your eyes at him, not knowing where that came from. 

“It’s nice to see you smiling and having fun again. You know, putting yourself out there. It’s nice having the sister I grew up with back. I’ve missed her.” He stood up straight, cracking a child-like smile at you. 

“Me too,” you smirked, leaning against the counter. 

He turned back to the sink, placing a few dishes in, and started washing them before placing them on the drying rack. It was weird to watch him do civilized things because he never did them when he was younger. When he left New York, the annoying older brother you grew up with started taking responsibility for his actions. While most actions not involving his nightly escapades. You take a sip of your beer, grabbing a clean cloth to dry, and start putting the dishes away. 

“I filed for divorce yesterday,” you mentioned, hearing Thor drop what he was washing into the sink.

He placed his hands on the edge of the sink, clenching his jaw at the sudsy sink. 

“He’s going to know where you are. Are you okay with taking that risk?” He inquired, scratching at the short beard on his face, turning to you.

“I know it’s a risk, but the only way I am ever gonna feel free of him…is to be free of him.”

He nodded, clearing his throat. “Are you going to feel safe here? Cause I can take the couch and stay for a few days. I can take work off and…”

“Thor, Thor,” you interrupted, placing your hand on his upper arm. “I’ll be okay.”

“I know, I just… I want… I want to make sure you’re safe.” 

“I know, and I will be,” you smiled at him, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze.

“Is Steve gonna come and stay with you?” 

“I don’t know, maybe.” You shrugged, keeping a close eye on your brother; his bottom lip trembled as his eyes darted in all directions. “Is everything alright?”

He nodded his head aggressively. “Yeah, I’m fine. Totally fine,” he stated in a high-pitched voice, laughing it off.  “But um…I think it would be better if someone stayed here with you, so I know… so we--we all know you’re safe,” he stumbled over his words, wringing his hands together. “Have you at least talked to Loki? What does he think? Does he want me to stay with you?” He asked, rambling on in one breath. 

“I was going to call him tonight and let him know,” you informed softly, trying to calm him down. “Thor--” his worried-filled eyes connected with yours “--I’ll be okay. Okay?” You gave him a reassuring nod. “I know after what happened before...that you blame yourself or you feel like you failed, but you didn’t. I don’t blame you for what happened because it wasn’t any of your doing. I put myself in that situation, and I continued to go back.”

“But, I could have gotten you out of that situation. I am the eldest, and I should’ve done a better job at protecting you, or at the very least, listening to you. I shouldn’t have taken Billy’s side, and for that, I blame myself,” he sniffled, clearing his throat. 

“Thor--” you rubbed his arm, making him look at you “--Billy is and will always be a master manipulator. We all fell for it…”

“Loki didn’t. He saw right through the man,” Thor tried to reason, raising his eyebrows. 

“But he didn’t stop me from going back to Billy. I mean, he tried, but Billy already had me wrapped around his finger.” You paused, biting your lip. “There is no sense in playing the blame game when the only person we should be blaming is Billy.” Thor opened his mouth to say something, but you continued. “You’ve helped me more these last few months than you will ever realize. Don’t think about the past and how you could’ve helped me, but think about right now, and how you did help me. I still don’t know how to thank you for it.”

“You can thank me by letting someone stay with you for a couple of weeks.”

“Wow...we’re still on that,” you scoffed, forcing a trembling chuckle out of him. “I know open communication was never our family's forte, but I love you, brother.”

“Love you, too, sis,” he smiled, leaning towards you and pulling you into a hug. 

___________

You walked into the station through the open garage doors, noticing the spotless, shiny red trucks glistening in the sun, bringing a sense of ease over you and a smile to your face. This place felt like a second home that came with a family that you didn’t know you needed. You spotted Steve helping a few guys set up chairs in front of a portable tv while others set up tables for interactive activities for the kids to participate in. There were even goody bags with plastic red firemen hats and the treat table that continued to grow. 

“YN, I see you got talked into making something, too?” You looked over to see Nat, holding a pan of brownies, and you lifted your two containers of cookies. “I swear these boys wouldn't survive without us. I mean, Val and Carol would be safe, but the boys.” She shot you a tight smile, shaking her head. 

“Agreed,” you chuckled.

“And there is my nerd now, I’ll be back,” she winked, walking over to Bucky. She handed him the brownies, and he leaned down and kissed her ever so gently. 

“It’s disgusting, isn't it?” You looked to your right to see Sam with his arms crossed, rolling his eyes. 

“I think it’s kind of sweet,” You chuckled, rubbing your lips together and glancing at them one more time. Steve caught your eye, and a sweet smile broke across his face. “You’ll find someone, Sam. You’re such a catch.”

“Uh-huh,” he grunted.

“Would some cookies help?” You offered, handing him the containers. 

“Yes.” Sam grinned his gap-tooth smile, taking the container. “Thank you, YN. This is why you’re my favorite.” He took a bite out of one of the cookies, walking away, holding it up in the air. “The best batch yet.” 

Steve shook his head at a grinning Sam, walking over to you, and pulled you into a hug. You giggled into his chest, wrapping your arms around your waist, and he started swaying back and forth. You rested your chin on his chest, staring up at him. He leaned down, giving you a quick peck on the lips. 

“How did Bucky and Steve get girls like that?” Sam asked Val at the treat table.

“I guess some people just get lucky.” Val shrugged, and Sam angrily took a bite out of another cookie.  

“Want some ice cream?”

“Yes, I want all the ice cream,” Sam added, following Val to the break room. 

“Question--” Steve stopped swaying and pulled away from you “--do you have any plans for tonight?” 

“No, why do you have something planned,” he teased, shooting you his signature smirk.

“Maybe.”

“What are we doing?”

“I’m afraid that is classified, but I have something for you.” You reached into your purse, pulling out a manila folder, handing it to him. 

Steve narrowed his eyes in curiosity. He opened the folder, his eyes scanning it over. “Divorce papers. This is a big step, YN,” He smiled at you, but it quickly dropped to concern. “Billy is going to know where you are.”

“I know, but I feel like it is time to put the past behind me and move on with my life.”

“Okay, as long as you’re ready, then I’m here for you with whatever you need.” 

“I know,” you smiled shyly.

“Isn’t it amazing?” Thor clasped a hand on Steve’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, I’m proud of her,” Steve winked, making your smile spread wider.

“As am I,” Thor smiled, squeezing Steve’s shoulder. 

You shake your head at them. “I better get to my shift, but Sam has the cookies, and I want my containers back ASAP, or I am going to hurt you, Thor.” You stated, walking backwards.

“I’ll make sure they are in your possession tonight.” Thor saluted, making you shake your head.

“Have a good shift, YN. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Just know this, Steve, if you hurt my little sister, we will have more than words,” Thor stated, squeezing Steve’s shoulder a little harder watching you walk out of the station with Nat by your side.

Steve nodded, turning to him. “I don’t intend to.”

“Good man.” Thor patted him on the shoulder, giving him a closed-mouth smile. “Before she met you, she was lost in her own little world. Fighting the beast, invading her dreams, and trying to tackle her own troubles. She thought she could only rely on herself to make the important choices but soon realized she had supporters, like you and me. So, thank you, Steve, for helping bring my sister back.” 

Steve nodded to Thor as the tall man went back to help the group set up.

“Did he threaten you?” Bucky asked with a breathy laugh, coming over to him.

“Ahh…yeah…sort of….I think.” Steve's eyebrows knit together, trying to figure out what exactly just happened. “But, I’m gonna make a quick call.”

“Do your thing, pal?” Bucky patted him on the shoulder and went over to help the group finish up.

Steve took out his phone until he found the name he was looking for; He brought it to his ear as soon as it started to ring. 

“Hey, Steve. How’s it going?”

“I’m good. Listen, I’m not going to be able to play pool tonight. I got a...I  got a date,” Steve smiled at his own words, scratching at his beard.

“Oh, is this the one you have been kind of seeing?”

“Yeah, YN.”

“Good for you, man.”

“Thanks, but I gotta get back to work. I’ll see you later.”

“I have a feeling we’ll see each other soon. Have a good night, Steve.”

“Bye, Jig,” Steve smiled, sliding the phone back into his pocket, and headed over to finish getting everything ready for fire safety.  

__________

The team stood by one of the open garage doors in anticipation for the first group of young students and their teachers to arrive. The workout room was transformed into a small teaching area, complete with fold-out chairs and a roll-away tv. Snacks and goody bags were also waiting for them with a welcoming banner hanging from the second-story loft. 

Steve let out a deep breath with his hands on his hips, eyeing at what they were able to accomplish.  It looked very welcoming, but he didn’t know what was going to happen. He liked kids but wasn’t always great at talking to them, but Carol reassured them that the first group of students might not go as planned, but they had another six to make up for it. 

“First group approaching,” Sam shouted, going over to the door to greet them. Sam shook the teacher's hand, flashing her his famous gap-tooth smile. 

Bucky scoffed beside Steve, gripping his shoulder. “Don’t be nervous, pal. Just avoid swearing or talking about anything too scary. Kids think we are badasses, and they look up to us. We are heroes to them.”

Steve swallowed, nodding at him. He rubbed his hands together, taking in the twenty little kids, grabbing snacks, and taking their seats while Carol stood in front of them with a huge smile.

“How’s everyone doing today?” Carol asked, earning a group of students shouting while others remained silent. “I’m glad to hear it. My name is Captain Carol Danvers, but you can call me Ace, and I am in charge of Station 107. Those wearing the dark blue shirts around you are my teammates.” She pointed to Sam, who then introduced himself as they went around the room. “Now that you know my team, what are your names?”

The teachers introduced themselves before the kids went around the room saying their names. Steve stood off to the side, nodding his head, trying to remember every kid’s name. His eyes stopped on one familiar little girl, Morgan Stark. She caught his eye, and she waved with an exciting smile on her face. He nodded at her, mimicking her expression on his face. Steve noticed she also waved at Sam. Seeing her brought back the memory of his first encounter with YN and losing his dispatcher cherry while saving Morgan from the electrified pool in the process. 

“Do any of you know the number to call in case someone needs help?” Danvers asked, bringing Steve's attention back to the present. Hands flew into the air, including Morgans. Danvers pointed to one of the students, and he replied with 911. 

Steve zoned out as Danvers continued to talk with the young kids. His eyes traveled around the room, noticing how some of the teachers would catch his eye but then quickly look away. He smirked, realizing Thor and YN weren’t kidding when they said the teachers would flirt with them. Thor winked at one of them, and she blushed, unable to keep the smile off her face. Steve shook his head at them, returning his attention to Danvers.

“....when you dial 911, your call gets directed to a dispatcher, and they use a system called CAD, which is a computer-aided dispatch. They punch the address you give them in, and the dispatcher can figure out what unit is closest for them to send help. Now, how many of you know your address?” A few hands shot up, and Carol nodded. “It’s okay if you don’t just go home and talk to your parents about it. They love to watch you learn and would be more than willing to help.” She nodded, clasping her hands together. “We are going to watch a quick safety video and then break off into groups and do a few different activities and see some cool things. How’s that sound?” She got a few cheers from the students while the others kept quiet. Danvers smiled, switching the tv on and pushing play on the DVD player, before stepping off to the side. 

The kids broke off into four smaller groups; Bucky and Steve took their group around, showing them different trucks, and explained their purpose. Steve couldn’t help but smile when the kids’ faces brightened up upon seeing the inside of the trucks. They did their best to explain what some of the equipment inside was, but most of the kids seemed too excited to listen. According to Bucky, kids like seeing the trucks and could care less about the other activities they had set up.

The first group's time was coming to an end, and the team could see the next class approaching in the distance. The team handed out gift bags, and all the kids were smiling and putting on their red plastic hats. The teachers told the students to say thank you, and they did so in unison before they retreated towards the door.

Steve stood by the entrance waving goodbye to the previous class, awaiting to greet the next class. He felt a tug on his pants, and he looked down to see Morgan smiling up at him.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be up there with your partner?” He leaned down to her eye level, resting a knee on the ground.

“She is waiting,” she pointed to her, and Steve smirked, seeing her waiting impatiently. “Besides, my teacher is still talking to the tall one.”

He glanced over to see the tall one was Thor, and he was doing the thing he always did. “Look at that, you’re right.” He nodded. “What can I do for you, Morgan?”

“I wanted to give you this--” she handed him a homemade card “--the tall one helped me make it at the coloring table.” She rocked back and forth on her feet and blushed.

“Aww, thank you.” He opened the card, reading: Thank you, Fireman Steve, for saving me, and it was an image of her in a pool with him on one side and Sam was on the other. “You’re welcome. I like it. You are quite the artist.”

She smiled. “I gave one to Fireman Sam, too.” She pointed at him with a smile.

“I’m sure he loved it, too.” Steve smiled at it. “I'm going to have to put this on my fridge at home.” He chuckled, and in an instance, the little girl wrapped her little arms around her neck and pulled him close. He patted her on the back and pulled away. “Stay out of trouble, and don’t get into any more electrified pools.” 

She shot him a funny look. “You too,” she smiled, running over to her partner.

Her teacher passed by him, folding a piece of paper and sliding it into her pocket, which Steve could only assume to be Thor's number. He shook his head, looking back at Thor to see him staring at her retreating figure. 

Thor caught Steve's eye, and he shrugged. “What? I like women, but you know, not in a creepy way.”

After the first class came through, the rest of the groups were easy; having got the lay-of-the-land and knowing what to say. Although towards the end of the day, the older kids, the 2nd graders, asked more daring questions, in which Steve tried to keep it G or PG.

“And with that, class is dismissed,” Danvers stated, plopping down in one of the fold-up chairs, sighing loudly. 

“Hear, hear,” Sam nodded, plopping down next to her. “It’s the repetition that gets me. I could go home and fall asleep right now. Who knew kids could be so exhausting. I praise the teachers cause I know I couldn’t put up with their shit all the time.” Everyone murmured in agreement.

“How are you all tired?” Thor asked with his hands on his hips.

“We weren’t at the coloring station. We were explaining and answering questions trying to keep things kid-friendly.”

“Well, you should’ve been. In my opinion, it’s the best station.”

“No, the trucks are, the arts and crafts station is the boring table. The kids were talking about it,” Bucky added, folding up a few chairs. 

“Doesn’t matter, I got a few numbers. And...” he walked over to the snack table, taking the last of YN cookies “--I got the last cookie,” he chuckled, taking a bite.

“Let’s quit complaining about what activity was better and remember it was about teaching the kids,” Danvers stated. “Now, let’s get this cleaned up, so the crew can do their job tonight.” Everyone mumbled, nodding in agreement. 

Thor snapped the container to your Tupperware shut, shoving the last bite of cookie in his mouth. “I could drop off the Tupperware tonight if you’d like. I’m meeting up with her after her shift,” Steve offered, packing up the leftover snacks. 

“Yes, I suppose you could, but if they go missing and she doesn’t get them. This all comes back to me, and I don’t need that on my conscience right now.” 

“Probably a good idea you do it then,” Steve chuckled. 

____________

Standing in front of the mirror, you try to get your hair to do a thing, but it isn’t doing the thing, so you decide to leave it as is. A buzzing sound at the front door brings an excited smile to your face. You trotted down the stairs, seeing Steve and Cosmo at the gate. You buzzed them in and went into the kitchen to grab two wine glasses and a bottle from your stash. You set them on the kitchen island, hearing Cosmo barking on the other side of the door. You smirked to yourself, walking over to the front door, remembering Steve mentioning how much Cosmo missed you. It was utter nonsense, but you couldn’t help but smile. You opened the front door, and your smile quickly disappeared.

“Billy.”

“Hi, honey. Did you miss me?”

_________

AN: Thanks for reading part 15! Those pesky cliffhangers! Where did Billy come from? Has he been watching her this whole time? Hmmmm....any theories?! And of course, all of this had to happen when things between her and Steve were finally going forward. It's almost like I planned it! Muwahaha! And speaking of Steve...what could’ve happened to him and Cosmo? Besides the ending, did you like Thor and her little chitchat, the brother-sister bonding sesh. We did learn that Thor clearly still blames himself for what happened way back then, but maybe now after their little chat, he will finally start forgiving himself, but who knows with the current revelation happening! 😬 And Val and Carol, did anyone guess that happening?! Also, did you enjoy fire safety day?! I thought it would be a good throwback to the first chapter and bring Morgan back, and I thought it would just be cute seeing the team trying to keep things G/PG when talking about their job. Haha! Better prepare yourself for the next couple chapters, cause things are going get deep! As always thanks for reading, comments always welcome! 

[mmvalentine]

The Washing Machine | Jurdan

Canon complaint. Post QoN. Smut warning.

The next time we return to the mortal realm is for Oak's tenth birthday.

I do not much like leaving Elfhame these days; the mortal realm has never held especially fond memories for me. My family visits often enough, and Oak is now attending school in Faerie and returning to his parents in the holidays. Hadn't wanted to, of course, having been able to play such marvelous tricks on his mortal friends, but since he's part of the royal family Oriana insists he have an education amongst the Folk. Personally, I think it can't hurt for him to have to contend with other faerie children, either.

This year, Oak wants to have his birthday at Time Zone.

To my great surprise, Cardan declares it high time we took a break anyway, and thinks we should spend a week in the mortal realm. I can't help but be skeptical.

"The mortal realm?" I ask in disbelief. "You, Cardan Greenbriar, High King of Expense and Excess, wish to spend a week in the mortal realm?" "Sure," Cardan shrugs. "Don't worry so, wife of mine, I'm sure it'll be fun." I shake my head. "Alright you weirdo. This I've got to see."

And so next thing I know we're in the spare bedroom of Vivi and Heather's apartment. Cardan finds the whole experience fascinating for all of three days and then promptly gets very bored.

"Let's go home," he says, flopped over our bed on his stomach. "No," I reply curtly, not looking up from my book. I've got my feet up on Cardan's back, and having seen this coming a mile off, I'm not letting him bail out now.

"I've had enough now," he says. "You're the one who wanted to spend all week here," I point out. "I was wrong. I take it back. Let us depart." "We can't go yet, Oak's birthday is tonight."

"Fine," Cardan says through gritted teeth. "Let's go tomorrow." "Tomorrow is Heather and Vivi's engagement party." "Since when?" I turn the page. "Since Monday, they announced it when we got here, remember?" "No, I do not." "Would I lie to you?" I meet his eyes over the top of the book.

Cardan growls low in his chest, and his tail flicks back and forth through the air.

"Okay so what, we just sit around waiting?" he demands. I don't know why he's so antsy, I swear he spends most of his days lounging around on his behind. I snap the book shut and put it down on the night stand.

"I'm so glad you asked," I tell him brightly. "In actual fact, we have several chores to do today!" "What are you talking about?" Cardan says crossly. "Here there are no servants," I remind him, bopping his nose. Cardan is now irritable, and swats my hand. I ignore him. "We need to get groceries for the next few days, and go to the laundromat.

"What's a laundromat?" Cardan asks. "It's where we wash our clothes." "We have to wash our own clothes?" "For the thousandth time, yes we have to wash our own clothes."

Cardan opens his mouth to protest, then shuts it again.

"Fine," he grumbles. "But if we're going to the shops I want ice cream." Of all the human foods he had tried so far, Cardan loves ice cream the most. Is an absolute sucker for ice cream.

"It's a deal," I say, sliding off the bed. "Now glamour up."

Cardan groans loudly, and rolls over onto his back.

"Now what you big baby?" I asked, exasperatedly. There really is no end to his complaining. "I'm sick of looking mortal," Cardan grumbles. "And just what exactly are you implying?"

Cardan looks at me upside down, his head hanging off the end of the bed. He reaches out and snags my waist, pulling me down next to him.

"On you it's beautiful," he says, nipping at my lower lip. "You have fewer sharp edges than faerie women." His eyes trail down to my chest. "You have more... more." He grazes his thumb under the curve of my left breast, and kisses the hollow at the base of my throat.

"Let's not go out at all," he says. "I can think of far better ways to beguile the time." His hands slide down my back, and for a moment I think we totally could just stay in here all day. But I also refuse to give in to him.

"Are you trying to use sex as an excuse to not have to be glamoured?" I accuse. Cardan makes a face.

"On me it just looks..." he gestures vaguely. "Bland."

"Too bad," I tell him. "We're going." Cardan harrumphs, and then a shimmer ripples through the air. His ears round down, his tail disappears, and the clawed tips of his fingers reduce to short, tidy nails. He keeps all the rings in his ears and on his fingers.

"I just don't want to go out like this," he says, pouting. I whack him with a pillow. "If I paint your nails, will you leave the house?" "Yes!" Cardan said, sitting up quickly. "Shiny black to match my eyes." He holds out his hands imperiously, and I bite his fingers savagely before rummaging through my bag for the nail polish.

Fifteen minutes later, we are walking down the street. I'm carrying a bag of laundry, and Cardan is blowing on his nails. He may not think much of mortal fashion, but I rather like him in his soft, black cotton t-shirt, and black jeans that hug his backside. He has kept his own boots, and he looks good. Not that I'm was going to tell him that, of course.

Our first stop is the laundromat to put our load on, then we continue on to the grocery store. I load Cardan up with a loaf of bread, bag of oranges, peanut butter to replace the one we've finished at Heather and Vivi's, a carton of eggs, a pint of milk and two packs of tampons to take back to Faerie. While I'm doing this, Cardan also grabs a bag of marshmallows, a box of froot loops, and a stack of flavoured condoms that I choose not to acknowledge at all.

When it comes to picking ice cream, Cardan spends a good ten minutes just going over all the flavours. He's transfixed by the multicoloured boxes and various promises of chocolate fudge and strawberry cheesecake utopia.

"One," I tell him firmly. "But there are so many I haven't tried yet!" he protests. "One." "You know we're not exactly short on funds, right?" "We're short on freezer space, and we're only here a couple more days. Pick."

Cardan takes on a pained look like I'm making him choose between children, and eventually selects a tub of rocky road.

We make our way home, and the laundry still has twenty minutes left on the timer. Cardan is eating ice cream out of the tub with a wooden stirrer he snagged from a coffee cart.

"Now that you've seen me do this one, you can do the next load, before we go home," I say to him. He feeds me ice cream.

"Why wash before we go home?" Cardan asks. "We've got people to do it for us there." He sucks on his makeshift spoon.

"Yes," I agree, plucking the whole tub from his hands. "But it's still a good thing for you to know how to do." Cardan reaches to take it back, but I yank it out of the way and continue eating. "You're a grown ass adult," I say. "You can't always have everyone do everything for you."

Cardan snarls.

"And stop growling and snarling at me, you're in the human realm now, act like it." I point the stirrer at him for emphasis.

Cardan raises his eyebrows.

"Do I detect a hint of vexation, my dear?" he asks. "You're awfully harsh with me today." It's true. Cardan in the human realm is like a little kid, needing constant supervision and cajoling. Not for the first time, I pity his servants at home.

"Because you're awfully annoying today," I say, putting the ice cream away. "You've been whingeing all day, consider me vexed." Cardan just grins, and it's infuriating. I hate the way he lights up when I'm annoyed at him, and it makes me all the more mad.

"Stop smiling at me like that," I snap. Cardan only grins wider, and then suddenly he's scooping me off the bench.

"What are you doing?" I yelp, as I'm lifted into the air. He sets me down on the washing machine, slides his hands behind my hair, and kisses me softly on the mouth.

"Still annoyed at me?" he asks against my lips. "Yes," I say. He kisses me again, and although I don't approve of this as a method of getting back on my good side, nor can I quite bring myself to push him away.

"How about now?" he whispers. "Kissing me doesn't make you less annoying." I try to sound stern.

Cardan smooths his hands down the outside of my legs, pulls them around his waist, and moves his lips under her ear. "Are you sure?" he purrs. Damn him.

He kisses along my jaw, lifts my hands to his shoulders, wraps his arms around my waist, and then licks at my tongue as he kisses me again. My mouth opens automatically for him, and despite myself, I shiver under his touch. It's always, always like this with Cardan and it'll be the death of me. When his mouth curves against mine, I know that he knows it.

"Seems to be working, to me," he murmurs.

"And that makes me hate it all the more," I say, a last stab at irritation before I give up, grab a hold of the front of his t-shirt, and pull him back to me. Cardan laughs as he kisses me, and the movement of it is echoed in the movement of the increasingly active washing machine he has sat me upon. I am suddenly very aware of the vicious vibration of it beneath my thighs.

"For fuck's sake," Cardan says, "this thing feels like it's about to take off. It's like video of the rocket thingy Oak showed me." "Shhh," I tell him, and drag his lips back to mine. I tighten my legs around his waist, as the whine of the machine gets higher. Cardan raises an eyebrow.

"I thought you were annoyed at me," he says. "I am," I reply, and then continue kissing him. His skin is delicious, and I want to taste more of him. I move my mouth down his neck. "It doesn't feel like... Oh. Oh." He pulls back.

"Jude. My love." A wicked gleam comes into his eye. "Are you rather enjoying this here washing machine?" "I don't know what you're talking about," I said steadily. But then the machine speeds up again, is shaking steadily under me and a shudder goes through my legs.

"How very delightful," Cardan says, and I want to slap him. He puts his lips to my ear. "Are you turned on right now, sweet nemesis?" he asks. "Do you want me, you angry little thing?"

"Shut up," I say, but then Cardan's hand is sliding up my thigh, slipping under my skirt and even though it's broad daylight and a public place, it's exactly what my body wants right now.

He licks his tongue up the column of my throat, and as he does the lights go down in the laundromat. Magic hums in the air, as the glass front frosts over and Cardan's glamour fades. His tail winds its way around my calf, and I hear the click of the lock in the door.

"Oh come now," he says. "Is that any way to talk to your husband?"

I opened my mouth with a retort on my tongue, but then Cardan is kissing me again and I forget it. He yanks me onto to the edge of the machine and before I know what I'm doing I'm reaching for the button on his jeans.

Cardan pushes my underwear to the side and sinks into me with the most delicious moan. Even thought he doesn't move for a minute, the rocking of the washing machine moves us enough that we are clutching at each other desperately and trying to get closer. Cardan hooks his elbows under my knees and my hands fall back to catch myself as he tilts me up toward him, and then he's fucking me right there in the laundromat.

The double sensation of Cardan moving inside me and the vibrations flooding through us both is almost too much. My moans turn to screams, but they are hidden by the clanging of the machine, and then Cardan's thumb is hovering over my clit and the pressure building in my abdomen is now threatening to surge up my throat and pour out my mouth.

With no warning, Cardan lands a stinging slap across my backside, where it is lifted off the machine. This last push, the flash of pain amidst my pleasure is what has me falling over the edge and I hit my climax hard, barely aware of Cardan falling right behind me.

We just stay there while the washing machine slows and beeps to tell us the laundry is done. Finally, Cardan speaks.

"You know," he says, "I think I like doing washing after all." I roll my eyes at him. "So what comes next?" he asks, and that's when I get my own wicked grin.

"The dryer," I say, and suddenly I, too, am excited by the prospect of more laundry.

****

I'm deep in my Jurdan feels, can you tell? If anyone is interested, I'll start a Jurdan taglist separate from my Feysand one. Let me know if you'd like to be on it.

For now, I'll just tag @asteria-of-mars because you got me into this mess and now you have to be subjected to my feelings...

JURDAN MASTERLIST (there's not much on it but may as well get into the habit)

[softholand]

chocolate kisses - t.h

pairing: bestfriend!tom x youtuber!reader

words: 2.9k

warnings: none, just pure fluff

a/n: so... i did it again!!! i had this ideia after watching a video like this from one of my favorite youtubers. anyway, i really hope you guys enjoy and please do let me know what you think!! again, english is not my first language so that’s that. thank you @definitely-not-black-cat for proofreading this, you’re the best and i love you 💛 enjoy!!!!!!

You adjusted the lenses of your camera one more time, making sure everything was ready to start recording. Since you started making videos for the internet and became a youtuber, you were practically obligated to learn about filmography. Sometimes you had your friend Harry around to help, since he’s a professional but today he got a job to do, so you were on your own. In fact, you had another Holland around, the oldest of them all and your best friend since you were kids, Tom.

Ever since you made your youtube channel, your viewers have been begging you to bring Tom to a video, so when the opportunity came, you finally asked him and he was more than happy to accept.

“You ready?” You asked your brown haired friend.

“Yep!” He said, making sure to really pop the “p”, knowing you hated when he did that.

“Tom, I was being serious earlier. I need you to behave!” You said, feeling like you were talking to a child instead of a 24 year old.

But that was the thing about your friendship with Tom, when you guys were together it felt like time hasn’t passed at all and you were still two little kids, doing stupid things and constantly misbehaving.

“I got this! Don’t worry!” Tom answered, a smile wide on his face.

“Saying not to worry actually makes me worry even more, you know?” You huffed, making sure the memory card was in.

“It’ll be fine, y/n! I promise!” He said, looking at you with those big brown eyes that made you forget what you were even asking.

“Okay, I’m going to start!” You told, seeing him clap his hands excitedly, but the years of friendship had taught you that this was just a thing he did when he was actually nervous. “And go!” You said, pressing the record button and joining your friend behind the kitchen island, where you had all the ingredients for the recipe already measured.

“Hey everyone, welcome back to another video! This week we have another one of the baking series and if you couldn’t already see, I have a guest with me today. Ladies and gentlemen, the star of the moment and my very own best friend, Tom Holland!” You said enthusiastically, while he observed you with a big smile on his face.

“Hello everybody, I’m Tom and I’m really excited to be here today!” He said, giving a little wave at the camera.

“Today we’re making a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. This is one of my absolute favorites and it’s actually your mom’s recipe, that she was kind enough to pass me so I could share it.” You explained, looking at your friend.

“I love this cake! Mum used to make it when we were kids but suddenly she stopped doing it, saying we were too grown up.” Tom pouted to the camera, making you laugh.

“Well, it’s your lucky day because we’re gonna start making it right now. You ready?” You asked, seeing him nod, looking at all the ingredients in front of him. “I know it seems like a lot but this cake it’s actually pretty easy and quick to make, just take a little while on the oven.” You explained, knowing he probably thought it was way too difficult for him to make a cake like that.

“Great! Where do we start?” Tom said excitedly, which again made you laugh.

“Okay, the first step is always preheat your oven, in this case at 180 ºC, for at least fifteen minutes before putting the cakes in. Then we can start creaming together the butter and sugar. I’m using a stand mixer today but you can totally use a hand one. It’ll work perfectly fine.” You said, pointing to the ingredients.

“This is such a pretty mixer, y/n! I wonder who could have given you something like that.” The boy beside you pointed to your pink Kitchenaid with a smirk on his face. “It was you, dumbass!” You said, shoving his shoulder.

“Wow, I’m such a good friend!” The smirk on his face grew even more, seeing you rolling your eyes at his antics. “Can you stop praising yourself and start making the cake?” You pleaded.

Tom nodded and after you told the camera the ingredients and correct measurements, he put them in the mixer, looking confused when he couldn’t find the buttons.

“It’s on the side, Tom!” You told him with a laugh, showing exactly how to do it.

While the butter and sugar creamed together, you took the time to observe your friend, who seemed completely entertained with it. A couple minutes passed and when everything was looking good, you told him to stop the mixer, so you didn’t have to shout at the camera.

“When you mix those two together, you can start adding your eggs, one at a time. Always remember to crack them on a separate bowl, to make sure you don’t ruin your mixture with a bad one.” At that, Tom’s eyes light up, as if you had said the most clever thing in the world. “You can turn the mixer on low while I’m adding the eggs.” You instructed Tom, who nodded and made exactly that.

“This is looking gross!” He said to you once he turned the mixer off.

“Yeah, it does not look pretty when you put the eggs in but as soon as we put the flour, it’ll all be fine.” You reassure him. “Also, stopping the mixer and scraping down the sides of the bowl will help everything incorporate much better.” You advised, giving a pink rubber spatula to your friend, so he could do what you just said.

“Still look gross!” Tom scrunched his face, making you laugh.

“Stop it, we’re going to add the rest of the ingredients now.” You scolded, which caused him to pout at you. “We’re going to put 1 tablespoon of baking powder, 1 teaspoon of bicarb, a pinch of salt and 1 cup of cocoa powder into the flour and mix it really well before alternating this with the buttermilk. Got it?” You asked him, making sure he understood your instructions.

“So, baking powder, bicarb, salt, cocoa powder, mixing really well.” He kept narrating his moves, which you found adorable.

“Okay, now we have to put the mixer on the lowest speed, otherwise we’ll have flour everywhere. And don’t look at me like that, we DO NOT want flour everywhere, Thomas!” The smirk plastered on his face was the same one of a child before doing something they shouldn’t be doing.

“I swear I didn’t think of doing that, y/n/n!” He stated, putting his arms up in surrender.

“Yeah, right! Like I didn’t know you for twenty four years.” You rolled your eyes, making him laugh.

Once he turned the machine back on, you slowly started to add the flour, followed by half of the buttermilk, more flour, more buttermilk and finally the rest of the dry mixture.

“Perfect! Now we can turn off the mixer and scrape the sides one more time, then turn back on for about a minute or so, just to make sure everything is really well combined.” You said smiling.

“That’s it?” Tom asked, as soon as you took the bowl out of the mixer. “That’s it, the batter is done! Easy, right?” You said and he nodded. “Now we can divide the batter into three separate pans that I already greased and lined with baking paper.”

“Baking paper?” He questioned, seemingly confused.

After explaining to him what baking paper was, you proceeded to put the batter equally into the pans.

Just as he was about to lick the spatula, you swatted his hand, making him wince. “Don’t eat that!” You exclaimed. “Why?” Tom asked.

“It has raw eggs and flour. It’s not safe!” You told him, sounding obvious. “Fine, I won’t.” He promised, putting the bowl and spatula aside.

With the pans ready, you told the camera you were going to put them in the oven, for about 40min or until a toothpick came out clean. While you were away, Tom looked right at the camera and sneakily gave the spatula a good lick, scrunching his face at the taste of raw batter. When you came back, you rolled your eyes at your friend.

“What?” He questioned, trying not to sound guilty. “Was it good?” You asked him with a smirk.

“What?” He repeated himself. “The batter, was it good?” You laughed, seeing him widen his eyes. “How do you know?” He asked, confused.

“You have some on your face, silly!” You said, throwing a towel at him. Tom flushed, feeling embarrassed for being caught. “It wasn’t even good!” Tom said, cleaning his face. “I told you!” You laugh at his scrunched face.

“Okay, now we’re going to clean this up and wait for the cakes to bake, then we’ll come back and make the icing.” You told him, walking to the camera and stopping the filming. “You’re such an idiot!” You tell your friend, making him laugh.

Even after you denied, Tom insisted on helping, but his help ended with him splashing and playing with water more than actually washing the dishes. When you finally got the kitchen cleaned, the timer of the oven went off, indicating the cakes were ready.

While the cakes cooled, you prepared the ingredients for the icing, which consisted in butter, icing sugar and melted chocolate. Once everything was ready, you joined Tom on the couch, where he scrolled through instagram on his phone.

“What are you looking at?” You asked plopping down next to him. “The comments on my last post.” He said, looking at you.

“Yeah? What is it?” You questioned, looking at your own phone, seeing a brand new notification. “It was you.” Tom answered plainly.

“What?” You almost yelled, quickly clicking on the instagram app, where you found a picture of you taking the cakes out of the oven. “Tom!” You exclaimed, sending an annoyed look at you friend.

“What? Everyone’s saying you look good!” He told you, making you groan. “Yeah, gorgeous!” You mocked.

“Oh, there’s one saying you have a great ass!” He smirked. “Thomas!” You send him a reproving look. “Not my words, darling!” He shrugged, the smirk he wore growing even bigger.

“They’re also saying we’ll make a cute couple.” Tom smiled, looking at you and catching your eye. “As if, Holland! As if!” You mocked, getting up from the couch and making your way back to the kitchen to check your cakes, while his eyes stayed on your body.

“You know what? They were right! You do have a great ass!” He smirked. “Can you stop being a flirt and help me finish this cake?” You asked, not believing the words that left his mouth.

Once your annoying friend joined you, you hit the play button again and started recording. “We’re back!” You said enthusiastically. “We’re back!” Tom repeated, making you laugh.

“Our cakes are baked and cooled, I’ve put them in the fridge now, just to make sure they’re completely cold when we put the icing, which we’re going to start making now.” You said to the camera, followed by the ingredients and correct measurements. “Once again, we’re using a stand mixer, but just as the cake, a hand mixer will also work. Now Tom, you can put the butter and sugar in the mixer, but be careful with the icing sugar, it’s very powdery and can go everywhere, so start at a lower speed and just go up when it’s fully incorporated.” You warned him.

“Right, boss!” He mocked, making you playfully hit his arm. “While you do this, I’m going to melt the chocolate, okay?” You asked and he nodded.

Just as you turned around to put the bowl in the microwave, you heard your mixer going on full speed. The sight that greeted you once you turned back to your friend, was unbelievable. Tom was covered with powdered sugar, from head to toes, his curls where white with the powder and the look on his face was one of pure regret.

“It really does go everywhere!” He said looking guilty.

“I can’t believe it, how old are you? 5?” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m old enough to do this!” Tom said before jumping at you and wrapping his arms around your body. “Tom!” You yelled, getting out of his grip.

“Now we’re equal!” The brunette winked, making your blood boil.

“You idiot! You know we’re gonna have to clean this mess, right?” You questioned, shaking some of the icing sugar from your clothes.

“It was worth it!” Tom laughed and hearing that sound made you chuckle too.

After a little bit of tidying up in the kitchen, you started recording again, this time hopeful that you could finally finish the cake.

“Now that the butter and sugar mixture is light and fluffy, we can add the melted chocolate and mix everything really well.” You informed, both Tom and the camera in front of you.

Tom helped you with the chocolate and after mixing the icing for a couple of minutes, you passed him a spatula to scrape the bowl and make sure everything was well combined. But, just as you were about to take the spatula back from his hands, he put it in his mouth, licking a stripe of the chocolate icing.

“Tom!!! Not the spatula that you’re mixing the frosting!!!” You yelled, seeing him roll his eyes. “Why not?” Asked the brunette.

“I’m going to eat that cake too!” You exclaimed, sounding obvious. “Oh, c’mon! It’s not like we never shared saliva before.” Tom smirked.

“You know I’m gonna have to cut this part off of the video, right?” You questioned, shaking your head at his cockiness. “Why?” He insisted, not taking that stupidly handsome smirk out of his face.

“Your fans already think that we’re a couple, they don’t need to know that we drunk kissed at my twentieth birthday party.” You stated, shaking your head to try and get rid of the memorie.

“Whatever, I think they would like it!” Tom winked, giving the spatula another lick. “Oh, they sure would!” You said, taking the object out of his hands and putting in the sink.

Back to the recipe, Tom helped you put the icing stuff away and bring the now cooled cakes, a knife, a cake stand and of course, a clean spatula to start icing it.

“Now with a clean spatula…” You said, glancing at your friend, that couldn’t help but laugh.

After filling the cakes, you helped him spread more chocolate icing on the sides and the top, before putting some sprinkles.

“It’s finished!” You screamed, making Tom laugh. “It looks really good. Can we eat?” He asked with hopeful eyes.

“Wait! I have to take some pictures first!” You warned, before taking your camera and snapping a few shots of the finished cake.

Once you were done, you finally let him slice the cake, putting the piece on a plate for you guys to try. “This cake it’s so good!” Tom moaned, taking another bite.

“It’s so moist and the icing is not too sweet. It’s just… perfect!” You agreed, also going for another bite, but Tom was quick to playfully take the plate away from you.

“Well, that was it! I hope you guys like the recipe and try to make it at home because it’s delicious. Thank you again for joining me today and helping with the cake, Tom!” You smiled, looking at your friend.

“Of course, thank you for inviting me and you guys for requesting this video.” He said, smiling at the camera.

“Don’t forget to subscribe and like this video, also leave your comments down below letting me know what other recipe you guys want me to make. I’ll see you next week. Bye!” You said waving at the camera, followed by Tom.

Once you finally finished recording, you and Tom got each one another piece of cake and went to sit on the sofa, where you eat it while watching some tv show.

Your attention was brought away from the show once you heard Tom lightly chuckled beside you.

“What?” You asked, already knowing he was up to something.

“You have chocolate on your mouth.” He said, pointing at your face.

“Of course I have chocolate on my mouth, I’m eating a freaking chocolate cake.” You rolled your eyes.

“No, I mean… outside of your mouth. Here, let me help you.” Tom offered, getting face to face with you.

And of course, just when you thought he was going to clean your face and just forget about it, he surprises you once again, this time taking you by the neck and sealing your lips together.

You were so startled that your first instinct was to fight, but once you realized the familiarity of his lips, you relaxed and kissed him back. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t leave you wanting more.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this…” Tom, being the gentleman he was, started to ramble and apologize for what he had done but you just rolled your eyes.

“Just shut up!” You smiled, leaning back in and kissing him again.

You knew that you two would have a lot to talk about after this but right now, all that you wanted were more of those chocolate kisses.

tagging some mutuals: @stuckonspidey @bi-writes @missnxthingg @peeterparkr @tomhollandthing @wazzupmrstark @screamholland @fallinfortom

[meet-me-in-the-kitchen]

(Accident)ally in Love

Y/N bleeds over Harry’s sheets, and he reacts in ways she doesn’t expect.

-

As dawn breaks, Y/N tosses and turns a bit uncomfortably, waking—what seems to be—unusually early from a swelling, nauseating ache in her stomach. As the pain intensifies, she has no choice, but to crack her eyelids open. When she peeks her eyes open, she sees the warm glow of a newly risen sun just barely streaming in through the thin curtains. Too tired to think anything else of it, she just huffs, adjusting her position a bit more so the warmth of Harry’s sprawled body is closer, almost pressing entirely to her backside, and tries to urge the pain away with use of his heat, and the delicious scent of his cologne. Despite her dead-set, fierce will, her body still betrays her—back and stomach aching something fierce, and she sleepily runs the possible reasons for her pain over in her head, wondering if it’s take-out, but she hasn’t had take-out in weeks, because Harry had cooked for her. Then, she remembers it’s December 22nd, and it sort of clicks in her mind. Her period.

She doesn’t think much of it, too sleepy to grab Midol or Ibuprofen, and the aches are still moderate; they ebb and flow, and the nausea isn’t too bad. she just sort of takes his hands from where they are strewn haphazardly about on the pillows and her body, and places his big palms over her aching belly.

He stirs a bit from the action, but hums contentedly in his sleep, his long fingers splaying out under the thin material of the packer’s jersey (his) she had on, and they soon engulf the whole surface of her tender abdomen and the heat and subtle pressure is just wonderful and what she needs to comfortably take the sharp edge off the dull pain and she hums plaintively, and he kind of reflexively wiggles closer to her and nuzzles her shoulder, lips pressing feverishly to his girl’s cheek, before falling back to sleep. And with her hands still over his hands to keep them in place, she finally dozes off a little, too. 

As her lids grow heavy with sleep, a sudden thought interrupts her zen moment: period. Periods meant blood, and... she was suddenly hyperaware of the intensity of her cramps indicating she’d been on her period for quite some time overnight, and the thinness of her panties and jersey, Harry’s jersey, drenched in the same substance wetting the inside of her thighs. Fuck. Her eyes shoot open, pupils enlarging in panic. She’d bled onto Harry’s jersey, Harry’s bedsheets, and, judging from the close proximity by which he clung to Y/N, Harry, as well.

She felt the sudden desperate urge to cry. This was mortifying, embarrassing, humiliating—

“Fuck,” she whispered, tears brimming in her eyes from the overwhelming amount of shame coursing through her in this cursed moment. “What am I gonna do?”

These accidents are usually fixable, and, for the most part, unnoticeable. Maybe, if she snuck out of Harry’s hold and grabbed some Oxy, she could—

She tentatively lifted herself up a bit, and the tears began to fall as a glaring, emergent bright red splotch, basically akin to the size of a small country, stared her in the face challengingly.

She knew it was normal to bleed through or get your period at unexpected times. However, even when her bedsheets got stained or she had to throw her perfectly fine clothes in the wash, she felt frustration. Now, these were Harry’s things she was ruining, and he had every right to be mad or disappointed at her for doing this to his bedsheets and jersey, and him.

Unable to just sit there and pretend her period didn’t exist, no matter how strong the urge was to do so, she decided it was best to rip the bandaid off, albeit she was crying out of anger at Mother Nature as she did so. She tore herself out of Harry’s arms, sniffling in response as he made incoherent noises and stirred, arms grabbing for her but coming back empty. So as to avoid any more public humiliation, she hopped to the bathroom, quickly grabbing an extra pair of clothes along the way.

“Love?” He croaks, rubbing at his eyes groggily, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she sniffles, flinging open a closet door and letting out a strangling sound from the back of her throat as a hoard of bathroom supplies came tumbling out, something that had Harry sitting up worriedly in bed. She reaches to grab a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, when her eyes catch onto an unopened box of pads, with a little sticky note reading a stupid period joke only adding on to her guilt. She’d ruined this thoughtful man’s sheets, and the urgency to fix it before he got disappointed or mad had her changing quickly, exiting the bathroom and swerving past Harry, avgedting eye contact while clutching hydrogen peroxide in hand like a weapon. She was on a mission to save the remaining bit of dignity she had left.

A colourful selection of expletives spew out of her mouth as a particularly vicious cramp causes something to twitch in her belly.

“Hey, hey,” he stops her, gently placing his hands on her shoulders. He tilts her chin up with a finger, using it to stroke her cheek as her panicked gaze finally meets his curious one, forest green eyes searching hers. “What’s wrong, hm?”

It’s like a dam breaks with those kindly spoken words.

“I was asleep,” she blubbered mournfully, eyes shining, “but then— and I, I’m so sorry, Harry. I messed everything up, and your sheets—“

“Breathe, lovie,” he coaxes, eyes widening a bit at her explanation. She takes a deep breath, and he smiles lightly, before his fingers press into her upset frown again. “Now tell me what happened.”

“I don’t want you to be mad,” she whispers.

“At you? Never.”

“I ruined the bed,” she sniffed, “and your jersey.”

“The bed...?” His eyes unconsciously dart to the piece of furniture in question, the confusion on his face disappearing as he scanned the tell-tale red stain on the white bedsheets, realization settling into his features. When he reverted his gaze to her, he found her staring at him anxiously, and soothingly rubbed circles into her hips. “Hey, that’s no big deal, angel.”

“B-but, I ruined your sheets. Aren’t you mad?”

He swipes a lone tear from her cheek with his thumb, wrapping his arms around her in affection.

“You know,” he teases a wet smile from her, “there’s this wonderful invention, ‘s called a laundry machine, you send the clothes off and they come back clean.”

She swats at his shoulder lightly, and gazes up at him tentatively. “You sure you’re not mad?”

“No,” he kisses her on the spot, to ease her worries. It had been an eventful morning for her.

and the rest is like clockwork. He tells her to take a warm shower, and gathers the sheets and soiled undergarments and jersey to put in the wash. After that’s done, he changes the bedsheets and heads to the kitchen once he feels a bit more awake.

Once she’s back from her shower and feeling considerably more collected, Y/N walks to the kitchen timidly, to the enticing scent of bacon, eggs, and chocolate chip pancakes. There’s a cup of tea waiting for her on the counter in her cup, and a couple of Advil pills set aside next to it. She finds Harry bare-chested, a spatula grasped in his hand as he tends to whatever’s cooking on the stovetop. She gingerly takes a few quiet steps and wraps her arms around him from behind, burying her face in his back as he relaxes. “Thank you.”

He doesn’t think much of it, only muttering “‘s only some blood, innit?” while rubbing her back. He’s grown up around two women, and knows the ins and outs fairly well: a period is just as natural as sneezing, and, at the end of the day, he reckons a period is considerably harder than a quick run to the laundry room. He’d be a bit of a shit person if he didn’t rub her cramps away, do the washing for her when she was clearly stressed out, and generally help her get as comfortable as possible. He’d wash the sheets a million times over, if it meant she’d feel better. Caring for his girlfriend is less of a kindness and more of a given, isn’t it? Nevertheless, he presses a kiss to her full lips; her humming at the taste of chocolate and warmth, and then going back for more.

MASTERLIST

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Anything can be our pet.

The shuttle gently glided down from the sky and rolled across the runway at the spaceport, the heat from reentry still fresh on its hull giving it a near mirage appearance to the waiting ground crew that were rushing over.  The coolant trucks pulled up one by one and the ground crew attached their hoses to them and began spraying down the shuttle as the disembarking tunnel attached itself to the side hatch.  A few moments later the hatch opened and the passengers of the shuttle began piling out. A large Draxic male, a lizard man like species, crouched down through the tiny door frame and entered the tunnel followed by a spry human female. Some of the other passengers hurriedly stepped aside as the Draxic stomped past while the female followed behind embarrassingly smiling and apologizing. She quickly walked up to the Draxic and kicked him in the leg. “What was that for?” He spoke, his lizard eyes narrowing down at her pouting face. “You shouldn’t be pushing past people.”  He tilted his head to the side. “Then they should move out of the way faster. They haven’t been crammed into a seat half their size for the twenty solar hours” As if to emphasize his point he rose to his full height and extended his legs, the sound of creaking bones resounding through the tunnel.  The human crossed her arms and continued pouting. “It’s still very rude.” The Draxic looked at her for a moment longer before grunting and continuing along his way.  She no doubt thought that he was agreeing with her, but in reality the mixture of smells emerging from the world, the cooling shuttle behind them, the various mechanical machines around him, and even the other humans on the plane was beginning to make the Draxic sick. He wished for nothing more than to get to his friends home were hopefully the smells would diminish. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  The world was known as Typhon Socundus, an ocean world whose entire landmass could be summed up as less than the country formerly known as the “People’s Republic of China”.  The largest of the islands held the spaceport that the duo had exited on, while the rest was scattered around the planet forming smaller islands and island chains   Because of the reduced landmass the planet’s population had been kept considerably smaller than other galactic worlds. Some had tried to create floating cities that glided across the waters in an attempt to increase the population, but that en-devour had ended rather shortly for reasons which seem obvious now to those who call the world home.  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Draxic gripped the side of the boat tightly as his friend steered the small “dingy” towards her families island. The sea was calm in every direction and the sky was as crystal blue as the ocean water themselves.  When the Draxic had heard that his friend owned an entirely island he was impressed as the land rights of the world were highly sought after. The land was given to her family several generations ago she said because since the time of her great grandfather her family had provided a “crucial” service to the planet’s government. What that service was exactly she had refused to tell him, saying seeing it would be far better.  So caught up in remembering how he had been roped into taking his vacation with her he nearly failed to notice the boat slowing to a near complete stop.  “Why have we stopped?”  he asked his friend as she turned around from the steering wheel and opened a nearby crate that he had been resting his feet on.  “This is part of what I wanted to show you.” she said while digging through the crate before pulling out a small package. She turned to unwrap it and though the Draxic could not see the package he could smell the mixing stenches of meat . “Besides, if I didn’t do this they’d probably wouldn’t let us pass.” Before he could inquire as to what that meant she chucked the contents of the package far out into the water.  The contents hit the water and sunk beneath the calm waves. “What was-” the Draxic begun but stopped himself when he felt something. His keen senses felt something from far away sending ripples through the water and nudging the boat. He stepped to the side of the boat and began scanning the horizon.  He felt the ripple again but this time was able to judge the direction and gazed across the water. Far off in the distance, as far as his eyes could clearly make out detail, he saw the water begin to slowly become wavy. Starting small, the waves quickly grew in intensity until the waves were radiating outwards.  “What did you do?” he spoke as he turned to his friend. She was leaning over the side of the boat and tapping the water with her right hand in a rhythmic pattern.  “If you didn’t see it with your own eyes I doubt you’d have believed me.” She continued tapping the water, unfazed by the growing disturbance of the water. “All I’ll say now, is don’t do anything. Just stand and watch, they don’t like new comers.”  A gout of water shot up into the sky where the Draxic had been focusing on. Emerging from the water loomed a massive form, a shadow that cut through the clear blue sky like an obelisk of darkness. The shadow dove back beneath the waves before he could get a clearer view but whatever it was was now speeding straight for them.  “By the seven suns! What is that!”  Whatever it was dove beneath the waves again and was hidden from his sight. He quickly stepped to the side of the boat and began peering into the waters below, but he could not pierce through the murky gloom of the water. ‘There you are silly boy, come to mama.”  At the words from his friend the Draxic turned and saw her laying her hand and head against what appeared to be a living wall of flesh and scale. An eye easily twice her size looked at her and the Draxic and he could sense the creature was that of a race of predators.  His eyes calmly looked over from left to right and saw that he was in fact looking at the head of a massive Wave Serpent, a creature rumored to grow for eternity so long as it feeds and strong enough to crush the hull of a space vessel as if it was made of paper.  The head of the beast slowly rose higher out of the water until the Draxic saw the mouth was wide open showing row upon row of teeth three times his size glistening in the sun light. He was left speechless as he came to realize that this must be his end and that he would be reunited with his ancestors in the eternal fields of war.  While he was transfixed with his imminent demise his friend picked up several more packages and chucked them into the gaping maw. The creatures mouth clamped down with a thunderous boom that knocked the Draxic off his feet. The boat bumped against the scales of the beast and his friend continued to stroke the scales and talk lovingly to the Serpent before it retreated beneath the water once more.  With the creatures passing she resumed her post at the helm of the ship and fired up the engine once more.  “First time seeing one up close?”  Her words seemed distant as the Draxic began to regain his composure.  “What......just happened?” was all the formerly proud warrior alien could say.  “My family raises Wave Serpents for the world.” She said as she steered the boat onwards. “That one was “Charlie” and I’ve had him since he was just an egg. He likes to showoff to strangers.”  “What do you mean by “raises” them?”  “When my granddad was young he came upon a Wave Serpent egg that washed up upon the shore. Since they grow up to be the size of spaceships he didn’t think the egg that was the size of a football was the same beast. He cared for the egg night and day until it finally hatched, he then cared for the little serpent every day. They developed such a close bond that it actually understood what he was saying to it which became mighty helpful when it grew to the size of a cruise liner.”  She steered the boat around an outcropping of strange rocks, but as the Draxic looked closer he saw that they were in fact spines of several slumbering Wave Serpents that were resting on coral reefs just below the surface.  Some he saw opened their eyes as the tiny boat passed their massive forms while others even raised their heads like cats finding something interesting before returning to their sleep.  “Eventually that little one grew so large it became the queen of her species on the planet. She returned to the island my granddad had raised her and laid her own eggs there. So several generations of the creatures grew up under the stewardship of my family.”  “But what does this have to do with the planet’s government?”  “Well, once the people in power learned that there was someone out in the back country that could tame the beasts that were sinking their cargo haulers they attempted to pay him to teach others. He refused to teach anyone outside the family, but agreed he’d start teaching the serpents not to attack ships if they give him ownership of the entire island.”  The Draxic looked stunned for a moment. “He blackmailed a planet’s government for a island?”  “My granddad was a nice man, but he was also a clever devil when it suited him.” she chuckled.  The Draxic pondered how she seemed perfectly fine around some of the galaxies deadliest creatures and even treated them like pets when something else struck him.  “What did you feed that beas-” “Charlie.” she corrected him.  “Yes; what did you feed “charlie”?”  “I gave him a mix of beef and chocolate. It was his favorite treat growing up and even though he’s so big now his taste buds can still taste anything that touches them, regardless of how big or small it is.”  The Draxic slumped back into the boat and watched as they neared the island she spoke of. Several serpents were strewn out across the island basking in the sun while several more circled it in the surrounding waters, nipping at each other to get closer.  He felt as if his vacation was about to become far more exciting than his lizardman heart would be able to handle.  

[smallzerowaste]

Check your water footprint!

Today I checked my water footprint. And the result wasn’t very satisfying. I was counting myself, my mother and my father since we live in one house. 

As you can see the standard is for US, and we are European, it doesn’t change a lot, but in the calculator you have to pick a state in US. 

My favorite tips for saving water are:

use only as much water as you need

no needlessly running faucet 

repair leaky pipes

brushing teeth and shaving with the tap turn off (how can it be otherwise?)

eat more veggies 

cook with no more water than it is needed

wash fruit and vegetables in a bowl

make for own dog food

reducing consumption of some foods (mainly meat, alcohol, junk food, animal products...)

minimalism - reducing consumption of items (e.g. clothing)

shower with a bucket to collect greywater 

shorter showers

don’t flush things in toilets! (even things like tissues and paper towels are really troubling)

wash clothes less 

use washing machine only if it’s full but don’t overload it

buy second hand clothing and technological products

repair broken things if possible

upcycle instead of buying new

mow your lawn less 

plant trees

use self-service car washes

save energy

drive less

think before you buy

don’t throw out things in good conditions - donate, give away, sell

use less disposable items

drink tap water if you can

recycle

Remember the water is used where we can’t see it. Especially in production of food as:

Chocolate – 17,196 litres per 1kg

Beef Meat- 15,415 litres per 1kg

Sheep Meat – 10,412 litres per 1kg

Pork Meat – 5988 litres per 1kg

Butter – 5553 litres per 1kg

Chicken Meat – 4325 litres per 1kg

Cheese – 3178 litres per 1kg

Olives – 3025 litres per 1kg

Paddy Rice – 2497 litres per 1kg

Pasta – 1849 litres per 1kg

Bread – 1608 litres per 1kg

Pizza – 1239 litres per 1kg

Apple – 822 litres per 1kg

Banana – 790 litres per 1kg

Potatoes – 287 litres per 1kg

Milk – 255 litres per 250ml glass

Cabbage & Lettuce – 237 litres per 1kg

Tomato – 214 litres per 1kg

Egg – 196 litres per one 60 gram egg

Wine – 109 litres per 250ml glass

Beer – 74 litres per 250ml glass

Tea – 27 litres per 250ml cup

(Source)

So many things I love to eat! Mostly chocolate, bananas, pasta, tomatoes and eggs :D 

If you have a chance to grow some of the plants, do it! Tomatoes, cabbages, lettuces can be easily grown even in flats ;) I saw some materials on the internet proving it. For example here is a TED about it. 

Bread, pasta and pizza also can be made at home but remember you still need products to make it. 

And production of items as:

Car from 13,737 to 21,926 gallons

Leather Shoes - 3,626 gallons

Smart phone (mobile) - 3,190 gallons

Bed Sheet (cotton) - 2,839 gallons

Cotton – 2495 litres per 250g 

Jeans (cotton) -  2,108 gallons

T-shirt (cotton) - 659 gallons

(Source)

In that case it is an indisputable argument for buying the things second hand, taking care of them, repairing and making sure they will last you for many years. Okay, maybe if it comes to bed sheets we don’t really want to buy it second hand, but that bought this way are usually in very good condition, furthermore you can find unused bed sheets in second hand shops or in an online auctions ;) I buy pre-owned bedding if you want to know ;)

And let’s be honest the top 3 things are very expensive so not many people can afford it new ;)

Check your water footprint! The site is safe and you can find some more tips ;)

The climate change is real so let’s slow it down. Let’s fight it. All of us have so much to change in our lifestyles and our actions matter!

[crutchie-with-a-y]

Can I got some tomeo? Tommy boy x romeo

yes! the last one i did for tomeo was newsies era so I’ll do this one modern, you can find that one here. i will def write for tomeo more if y’all are liking it…

Tommy Boy popped an Advil in his mouth and dry swallowed, his head pounding. 

“Jesus.” He staggered into his aparment kitchen and turned on the lights, only to turn them off when they blinded him and sent stabbing pains through his skull. He threw some cabinets open and smacked some things around, eventually starting a pot of coffee. He groaned and leaned his head against the counter while it brewed. He felt awful, as per usual when he was hungover, but this hangover hadn’t even been worth it. He’d had a pretty shitty night too. After an intense breakup a month ago, he thought he had finally gotten his life back together, and then low-and-behold when he dropped by a local bar to say hello to a friend who worked there, who did he see? His ex, cuddling and kissing with someone they had told him was “just a friend.” This painful night had lead to way too many rounds, and then walking home in the cold to drink another couple beers. And sob his heart out. 

Tommy Boy’s painful memories were interupted by the ding of the coffee machine, even that light bell being too much for his head. He straightened up, rubbing his eyes and stepping back against the wall, only to be met with a knock at his door that felt like someone detonated a bomb in his head. He groaned again and staggered to the door, expecting to open it to a Girl Scout with a shrill voice trying to sell him cookies. Was it even that time of the year? Or maybe a couple of Mormans, who would try to convince him to come to a serive. He didn’t know who it was, all he knew is he wanted them to go away. He opened the door to a shorter man, with a big smile that scrunched his nose and made his eyes twinkle. Tommy Boy’s heart leapt into his throat. 

“Romeo?” He squinted in shock. “What the hell are you doing here?” Romeo chuckled. 

“You were that drunk, huh?” Romeo put his hands on his hips, grocery bags hanging off his wrists. 

“What?” Tommy Boy stared at him blankly.

“You called me last night drunk-crying, but I couldn’t understand what you were saying so I said I’d come over tommorrow and make breakfast.” 

“Oh.” Tommy Boy bit his lip. I’m such an idiot, he thought. But that was so nice of Romeo. Then again, Romeo was always very kind. “Well, um, you don’t have to-” 

“I don’t care,” Romeo pushed past him into the kitchen, plopping his bags on the counter and taking out several boxes and cartons and jamming somethings into the fridge. “I’ve been violently craving pancakes all week and this gives me an excuse to make them.” 

“Oh, well.” Tommy Boy ducked into his bathroom to run his fingers through his hair and swish around some mouth wash against his stained teeth. God, I look disgusting, he thought, if only he’d remembered he was coming. “If you’ve been craving them…” 

“Exactly.” Romeo banged around in the cabinets and pulled down a few bowls. “Now, you talk me through what is going on while I cook.” He poured two mugs of coffee and handed one to Tommy Boy as he stepped back into the kitchen, knowing he liked it just black, with no cream or sugar. Tommy Boy smiled and took his mug over to the kitchen bar and sat down on a barstool, leaning foward on his elbows and warming his hands with his coffee. There was no use arguing with Romeo. When he decided he was doing something, he did it, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. 

“Well,” Tommy Boy started, slightly embarassed. “I went over to Mack’s after work yesterday, to say hi to Casedy, she just started working there.” 

“Oh my god, really? Casedy Stevens?” Romeo asked, folding up a grocery bag. Tommy Boy nodded and Romeo waved at him. “Continue, apologies for interupting.”

“No worries. So, I went to see her, and when I walk in there, I see fucking Sam.”

“Not fucking Sam!” Romeo complained as he turned dumped flour into a bowl. 

“With! With that asshole Tod, who Sam said was ‘just a friend.’“ Tommy Boy added, hardly able to believe it himself. 

“WITH THAT ASSHOLE TOD?” Romeo spun around, his jaw hanging lose dramatically. Tommy Boy chuckled, and it felt good. The last twelve hours had not been very smiley. Romeo could always make him laugh.

“Yeah. And it wouldn’t bother me at all, well it would, but it’s their choice and it’s none of my buisness, and I would want them to be happy, so I would just shut up, ya know?”

“You are a good person, I know that.” Romeo nodded, cracking eggs. Tommy Boy blushed, despite the fact it was much of a compliment. 

“But! Literally the reason we broke up was because I asked Sam about Tod. I had noticed they were really flirty and affectionate and hung out a lot, so I genuinely asked, ‘Do you like him? Are you guys a thing, because I will get out of the way if you say so.’“ 

“The right thing to say.” 

“Yeah,” Tommy Boy took a sip of his coffee. “But Sam got super mad at me for even asking, and we kept fighting about it until they dumped me. And it all just like.” He took a deep breah, feeling his eyes start to water. “Sucks. I thought I had everything together. I was even planning on asking someone else out, and now I just feel…” Romeo turned to look at him, leaning against the counter with one hand and holding his coffee in the other. 

“Like shit?” 

“Yeah,” Tommy Boy smiled sadly, a tear sliding slowly down his cheek. Romeo rushed over and wrapped his arms around him, causing butterflies to begin flapping their wings in his stomach through his tears. 

“Hey,” Romeo brushed a tear off of his friend’s face and smiled at him. “It’s going to be okay. It’s okay to feel like shit.”

“Oh good.” Tommy Boy rolled his eyes sarcastically, and felt like a jerk immediately afterward. Romeo pulled back and grabbed his shoulders so he had to look him in the eye. 

“Hey! I meant it’s okay to feel like shit now. It’s okay to take a day to cry and listen to sad songs and not do much of anything. Everything will feel better soon, I promise. But until then, it’s okay to take a day for ya heart.” Romeo winked, and Tommy Boy could barely breathe. His face was so close. And he was so sweet. And that little bit of flour streaked on his cheek was adorable… “Alright?” Romeo raised an eyebrow. Tommy Boy shook his head and nodded, blinking away the tears that clung to his eyelashes, and hoping the boy in front of him wouldn’t notice how red his ears were.  

“Good. Now, what do you want in these pancakes? I got blueberries and chocolate chips.” Romeo spun around and marched back into the kitchen. 

“Uh, blueberries sound good…thank you, Romeo. For, uh, everything.” Tommy Boy rubbed his knuckles awkwardly. 

“Don’t mention it.” Romeo clicked on the stove and set a pan on top, dropping a bit of butter onto it before begining to scoop batter. Tommy Boy watched him. He loved watching him. He always had. He liked watching him talk, write, walk, laugh, everything he did was fascinating. Back in high school, he remembered, he liked to watch him at choir concerts, where he would make silly faces to jazz up the rather boring songs. Romeo had always been like that, making everything more fun or less dreary. It was one of the many things he liked about him. To be fair, he liked everything about him. Tommy Boy had a huge crush on Romeo for so long, and he knew the real reason he had gone out with Sam was to get over how devastated he was when Romeo went out with someone else, though that relationship had ended long before he and Sam’s. Yes, Tommy Boy had always had a special place in his heart for Romeo, and as he watched him flip pancakes and blabber about how much blueberries cost, he realized it never really went away. 

“Here ya go,” Romeo slid a plate stacked with a couple pancakes across the counter to him. “First round.” He walked back over the the fridge and bent down a bit to grab maple syrup from a shelf. Tommy Boy stood up, walking quickly towards him before he lost his nerve. When Romeo turned around, Tommy Boy was standing directly behind him. 

“Um, hi.” Romeo’s eyes went wide and he clutched the syrup bottle a little tighter. Tommy Boy looked him over. The way his brown hair fell slightly in his face, the long, the dark lashes that fanned his bright eyes, and the thin lips that were at this moment pressed together. Tommy Boy grabbed his shoulders, pulled him closer to him, and, before he could think twice, pressed his lips against Romeo’s. Romeo had just lightly began to kiss back when Tommy Boy had to pull away to breathe. 

“I’m, uh, glad you enjoyed the pancakes.” Romeo said, blushing. Tommy Boy laughed. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just.” There was so much he wanted to say, but it was so hard to put it into words. “You’re just so sweet coming over here for me, and listening to me, and you’re so cute and silly and-and….you were the person I was going to ask out.” There was a loud thud when Romeo dropped the maple syrup on the floor, almost has loud as Tommy Boy’s heart, pounding in his ears as Romeo slid his hands into his hair and kissed him passionately. 

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,” The wonderul moment was interupted when the smoke alarm went off, triggered by a burning pancake. Romeo pulled away quickly, ripping the pan off the stove as Tommy Boy fanned the smoke alarm with a towel 

“Well,” Romeo turned around, only to see Tommy Boy looking at his feet, which were covered in syrup. “Oh my god.” 

“The bottle fucking exploded when you dropped it.” Tommy laughed, pointing at the splatters all over the floor. 

“Well, maybe if you weren’t such a good kisser, this wouldn’t have happened!” Romeo joked, grabbing a rag from the edge of the sink and dropping to his knees to clean up. 

“Well, excuse me!” Tommy Boy said dramatically, bending down to help. “Ya know, gotta say I’m really loving Tod right now.” 

“Why’s that?” Romeo raised an eyebrow as he scrubbed the floor agressively.

“Because if they hadn’t been more than friends I wouldn’t have gotten to be more than a friend to you today.” 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #222

“hold your breath, my dear, we’re going under.”

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. Have you ever stayed online for a long time waiting for someone? Ha ha, yeah... I did that for Mini a lot when I was younger. Would you survive in prison? I can almost guarantee I'd find a way to kill myself, no. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Obsess over if I'm making eye contact correctly. Like the WHOLE time I will be thinking about it. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? I had a lot of childhood cats run over, and that was always hard to see. As for coping, I just... did. What else do you do. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. Mini skirts, slutty or stylish? Um, what you wear doesn't determine whether or not you're "slutty." They don't bother me. Do you like a partner who is clean cut or rugged? A mix. Pale or tan, which would you rather be? I like pale skin, I just don't like the texture of mine. The negative of pale skin is the fact you can see flaws more clearly. Is walking cats strange? (like walking dogs) No. What about kids on leashes? What do you think about that? That shit is wild. Teach your children better, or keep them in your sights at all times if they have some kind of condition that makes it challenging to teach them properly. How many piercings have you had, BESIDES ears, no one cares. Two. New tats in your near future? Whenever I myself have the money, my next tattoo appointment will be to enhance my Mark tribute one to better the galaxy texture. I love the guy who's done my tats so far, but there are better out there, and I don't feel he achieved my vision. This tattoo is WILD important to me; it has to be perfect. After that, a "new" tattoo probably won't happen until I have a job or I'm gifted money. How about piercings or re-piercings? "In the near future" is the criteria I'm guessing is still relevant? It depends on how quickly I lose enough weight for my collarbones to be clearly prominent to get dermals. I've been fucking stagnated for a year, though, so I don't know when the hell that's happening... Who would you like to hang out with? There's a lot of old friends and acquaintances that fit this. Next new thing you are wanting to try! Idk. Some sort of job I can actually accomplish. Would you ever visit a psychic medium? Definitely not; I don't believe they're legit. Are some days a waste of makeup? Um so idk if you know, author, but people wear makeup for their own satisfaction. If it makes you feel beautiful, then hell no it's not a waste. Do you watch any beauty gurus on YouTube? Okay I fucking adore Jeffree Star y'all. He's a goddamn Mood and inspirational as ALL hell in terms of his determination, work ethic, and open-mindedness. I watch everything he uploads ever, even though I'm not really interested in makeup. It's cool to watch though; it's an art to me. Do you have a PillowPet? No, but omfg. One of my favorite Christmas memories ever is the night my niece, when she was around two or so, was given one (or something like it?) the night before, we turned the lights out, and lit it up so the colorful stars were all over the room. She was absolutely marveling over it. That was the same night my sister revealed she was pregnant with my nephew, actually. That was a great night. Actually felt like a family. Do you have sleep paralysis? Thank FUCK no. Have you ever wanted an ex back, but found out they were dating someone? I've talked about Jason and Ashley before. God that was a bad. Bad. Fuck-ing. Time. Do you like Placebo? I don't listen to them. Has anyone ever carried you to bed? I mean as a kid, yeah. Idr as a teenager or adult. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? The greyhound. Dachshunds are precious, but as of semi-recently, I'm personally against breeding pets with damaging/unhealthy traits, and dachshunds are very susceptible to spine issues. Idk if greyhounds have any issues like that. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Bitch we poor, no. What is the next craft you are going to make? Probably something for Sara for some special event. I don't think that's much of a spoiler, so I don't mind sharing it. Do you learn choreography easily? I was decent when I was a dance student, but no, I can promise you no. My memory is laughable. If you had to choose, would you rather be taller or shorter? Taller, I guess? Idk. Do you believe that Jesus will come back in your lifetime? No, I don't believe he ever will. What color is your winter coat? ... Shit dude, idr. Idk if I even have one, actually. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Gimme all ur Reese's cups. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? No. Have you ever had a themed b-day party? I'm sure I did as a kid. Were you afraid of heights as a child? No. I am now tho. Which dollar store is your favorite? Here, Dollar Generals are everywhere and generally the preferred one, I believe. What food gives you diarrhea? Totally serious, most exceptionally "fancy" foods; by that, I assume things with lots of intricate spices and other ingredients. At least severe gas pains are almost guaranteed when I eat out somewhere. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Ha ha man, I remember as an elementary school student though, we had a play where I SO wanted to be Snow White. What is the most fascinating part of nature? Evolution. I don't know how I once didn't believe in it. Would you ever go vegetarian? I am serious about returning to vegetarianism when/if I get to a weight I'm satisfied with (losing weight w/o meat is more difficult than with, particularly for an extremely picky eater). I wish I could be a total vegan, but I know I'm not capable of that. Once you actually learn about slaughterhouses and farm life... no. What berry is your favorite? STRAW!!!!!!!BERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is your dream house? Something in the woods with a nice yard/outdoor decor, flowers, wildlife... What was the reason in you crying last? PTSD. Are there any movies in the theater that you’d like to see? The new IT and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. What do you think of Coca Cola? It's my third-fave soda. What about polar bears? Gorgeous animals. I will R I O T if they go extinct. My best friend(s) are/is... Sara. When do you want to have your first kid? Never. I am faaar from cut out to be a mother. Which stovetop burner do you use the most? I don't cook, so. The times I've made eggs, uh... I think I use the bottom right? Do you use a dishwasher or wash dishes by hand? Ugh, we don't have one. What year did you graduate high school? 2014. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I should with how paranoid I am. What is your favorite gas station? Sheetz is the way to go down here. What have been some of your best garage sale finds? *shrugs* Idr the last time I went to one. Ever worked two jobs or more at once? Hell no. I wouldn't survive. How often do you check your email? Every day, mainly for school. What would you do if your ex came to you crying? It would depend on who. "The" ex, I don't give a fuck how I feel about him, he's getting a tight-ass hug because seeing him cry is awful, and I will always care about him to a certain degree. Well actually, I'd ask him before hugging; I don't know if he'd be fine with me touching him. Girt would get a big 'ole hug for sure. Juan, Tyler, and Aaron I'd ask if they wanted a hug. I'd definitely ask any of them if they wanted to talk/vent to me about whatever is wrong; I can't stand seeing people cry. What school do you go to, what grade? I'm a super late freshman in college. How do you feel about school? It's been a drastic change in my daily life and thus has caused stress, but nevertheless I'm ecstatic to be back because I'm actually making progress towards going somewhere. Are you still a virgin? So I know it sounds like it makes NO sense w/o details, but seriously, I don't know. We had "cheaty" ways to just barely skirt around it because at the time I was abstinent, but pretty sure at some point it became sex. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Man, I haven't had chips in a loooong time... though I love them, man. We have crackers at the house usually, and I snack on them occasionally. Is your bed next to a wall? Who doesn't have their bed against at least one?? Is your bed next to a window? There's one beside me against the wall. Do you have neat handwriting? I think so. The only thing I don't like is I write SOOOOOOOOOO slow. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? Dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? Painter. What did your hair look like in high school? Long and normally brown, but sometimes I dyed it black with colored highlights. Favorite flavor of hot chocolate? Normal?? What is your top priority in life? My happiness, probably. Have you ever made a gingerbread house? Yeah. Sucky ones, but they were gingerbread houses, lol. Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? EW both are gross. Skeletons or scarecrows? I'll see you in the Skeleton War, fuckers. Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? My Writing teacher. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? I did a TOTAL 180 on LGBT rights, and my former, intense pro-life stance has altered quite a lot to mostly pro-choice. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? Man, a lot... A total ban from plastic and finding an alternative for it would be great, as well as the cure of cancer and H.I.V. Make gay marriage legal worldwide. Make great progress on cleaning the oceans. I could go on and on. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? As far as personally, possibly. Like, obviously my doctors do. How do you feel when you’re the center of attention? *buys that red button that says "no" in various fashions solely for this occasion* Are you and your S/O Facebook official? She doesn't have a FB, but mine does say "in a relationship." Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Not that I know well anymore; a former best friend is in the process of becoming one, though. So proud of her. Which would bother you more: being told you’re not likable or being told you’re not sensible? Being told I'm not likable would really hurt. How many bedrooms does your house have? Two. Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Yeah. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not really. Everyone gets them. Do you use Snapchat? No. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? Yes. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I was a sales associate at GameStop. I was employed for like two months, but I worked very few days before I crumbled. Where is the last place you were other then where you are right now? School. How do you feel about the last person you kissed? I adore her. Lol, Lawl, Rotfl, Lmao, or Lmfao? (Which you use most) Lmao or lol. Have you/Do you know anyone that grows weed? Not knowingly to me. Do you really care about name brands? Not just for the sake of being a certain name; I do, however, care about the quality of brands, of course, such as taste for foods or being comfortable in clothes. Describe your favorite pair of jeans to me please. I don't have any. When I was actually slim though, I had a pair of maroon skinny jeans with a black dappling texture, and there were holes in them where the fabric was just black, and I loooooved them. Those and my leather boots was A Look. To wash in the shower, do you use a loofa? That's not the technical name for what I use according to Mom when I've called them that, but rather a body sponge or something like that, but it's like the same thing. Have you ever ridden on a horse? Yes, though not at a gallop or anything "real." Just at things like school fairs. Are you polite? I think I'm very polite, honestly. Do you prefer bright or muted colors? Bright, usually. Can you roll your tongue? I used to be able to after practicing all day once with a friend ha ha, but I haven't been able to for a long time. Definitely can't now with snake eyes. Are you a light weight when it comes to alcohol? No, apparently. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? British and country. How loud do you listen to music? Too loud, I know. Are you more awkward talking to people in real life or online? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, real life. I don't think I'm half bad online. Do you bruise easily? So easily that I was tested for anemia or whatever it's called where you bleed easily (the test was negative, thankfully). Despite feeling bruised, though, I usually don't have an actual mark. Have you ever bought pre-ripped jeans? All my jeans were. I hate plain, boring jeans. What are you most likely to spend money on? Tattoos, lol... I genuinely think I'm good with money, I feel because of the financial position I've grown up and lived in, although I have never had a stable source of income, so it's hard to really determine that yet. I'm quite sure I'll be fine, but I really do hope I handle my money well when I do and don't invest all my spendable (as in, not money that I'm saving for emergencies) money into just tats. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Welcome to my life, lol. I'm at an age where it's starting to get embarrassing, but. Idk how to change it. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever heard somebody die of? *shrug* When was the last time you (dis)liked someone without really knowing them? I dunno. I try to not do that. When was the last time you wore a mask? What did it look like? Hell if I remember. I don't even remember wearing any on Halloween as a child. What comes up on your recommended list on YouTube? Mainly let's plays or music. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? Hell no, that wouldn't last long. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? My mom has a gay cousin. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? No; I don't care enough about them too. I wish they were smaller. I liked mine when I was a healthy weight, so, let's get back to that size, please. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? Aaron, I think he actually is. Juan, trust me, he's not. Jason couldn't convince me he was gay even if he tried. I very highly doubt he'd be bi/pan, either. Girt, I would be surprised, but not like, immensely. I don't have a clue about Tyler and if he has any gay tendencies/history. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? NO SIR-REE. Do people ever compliment your eyes? Yeah. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? I don't know. I used to feel REALLY strongly about porn just being a big 'ole fucking nope, but whatever man, we're sexual animals. Better you take care of urges yourself rather than, you know, raping someone or something. If I personally caught my s/o doing it, idk how I'd feel, but knowing me and my self-esteem, I'd feel I'd probably jump to the whole (if we were serious) "um hi I'm your fckng gf what am I not enough" thought path. I don't think I'd be livid, though. Ask the old Britt, and we would've broken up there, probably. Who’s the last person that hung up on you? *shrug* Do you have a common first name? Yeah. Have you ever been engaged? No. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Four, currently. They're gonna be covered one day. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No. Have you ever been punched? No. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? I will, without fail, get the spicy shrimp fritas and be the happiest human being on Earth. How do you feel about bats? I absolutely adore them. Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up? Quite the opposite, actually. What brand of hair spray do you use? I don't use it. Do you like it when guys wear hats? I have zero opinion on this. Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's? I prefer Wendy's. If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? No. Are you the type of person who would study for a test for hours? No, I'm not. I generally don't even have to like, intensely study; I tend to learn upon reading things, or in like math, performing the actions just a couple times. "Studying" doesn't tend to work for me; if it gets to that point, it probably won't stick, regardless of how many times I try. Are you a lazy person? I hate admitting just how lazy I am. But I mean again, it also depends on what is at stakes. Does your house have a doorbell? Yes, though I actually don't know if the doorbell works... Favorite album? Ozzy Osbourne's Black Rain. Favorite farm animal? PIGS! Has your Facebook ever been hacked? No. Do you spell gray with an A or an E? I use the American spelling ("gray"). Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? I would be perfectly and entirely happy with purely money for my birthday, because that equals tattoos, lmao. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Have you ever played laser tag? Once on a double-date with Jason and our old roommates/friends. Do you ever share things on Facebook? Almost all I do are share things I support, find funny, find as inspirational or cute, stuff like that. I can confidently say the majority of people I even have as "friends" on there do not care that much about my personal life. Is anyone you’re close to in the hospital right now? I mean, define "close." My grandmother's going through chemo, but we're not like... my definition of particularly "close," though she's close-ish family, so idk. Is your Wifi protected? Of course. What did you have for lunch today? I didn't eat lunch. How often do people write on your Facebook wall? On my birthday, lmao. Does your phone have a cover on it? No. I'd say I want one, but way more than that, I want a new phone. Mine is godawful. What color was your swim suit this year? I mean my most recently-worn is black, but I think it'd probably be too big for me now. I haven't swam in a long time. Do ladders scare you? Yes. Do you have any pictures of you and your friends in your bedroom? No. How do you eat Oreos? I'm one of those people that breaks the cookie to eat the cream first. Who or what sleeps with you? My cat Roman. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yes, but spelled differently. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? Honestly, it's become almost embarrassing to say I was ever pro-life. I'm vehemently pro-choice now. What color LED is the display in your car? Okay so Mom's has a rainbow of options, but I think it's currently stuck on... purple? I think? How am I unsure???? I'm in it every day?????????? Who was your first kiss with? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. What kind of milk do you drink? I'll drink anywhere between skim to whole milk, but I'm not really a fan of skim despite having grown up with it. What aren’t you afraid to stand up for? I'd stand up for gay rights if it killed me. Do you know anybody in the military? Loosely. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have any STDs? No. What’s your preferred salad dressing? YO the Olive Garden dressing is b o m b. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver? No. Who’s your celebrity crush? I'm almost 24 years old ha ha ha hahaha I'm too old for a celebrity crush aha hahaa haa aahha ah hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa- What color is your fridge? Black. Do you know the metric system well enough to live in Canada? No, admittedly. What was the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Tell me the place (on your body) and the story of it! Idr. If you have Etsy account - show the very last item you added to the favorites. If not - either skip or just visit Etsy and find one thing you like: I think I have one, but I don't use it. I don't feel like looking. What would you do if you knew that you will be single to your very death (even if you’re in a relationship now)? Nothing would change...? My relationship status doesn't alter my goals and such. Are there any exchange students at your school? We have a LOT of foreign students at my school, so I'd assume so. Have you got any half or step siblings? I have three (actually four, but I don't know one tho) half-siblings and technically a step-brother, but I don't see him as a "brother," really. What cars do your siblings drive, if they do drive? My older sister has a red car, and my younger has a... black Kia, I think? It's dark is all I know for sure, and I only know the brand because it's new. I don't live with either or see their cars frequently elsewhere, so idk. What about your parents? Idk what kind my dad drives, but BOY do I know my mom's car, lmao. It's an older white Kia (I think?) with the bumper fuckin zip-tied onto the car bc it was given to us after a dance friend hit a poor deer, lmao. Look, we don't complain, shit was free. Do you like kid’s movies? Yo I do NOT trust you if you claim you like NO "kids' movie." Describe your handbag. I'm actually gonna look it up. (https://sourpussclothingwholesale.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/night-owl-bag.jpg?w=584&h=364) When was the last time you had to take someone home? ME, never. I don't have my license because I'm terrified of driving. Who was it, and where did you take them home from? N/A Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? Sara Jaaaaaane!!! :'> There are other friends I'd like to meet, too. If so, which website did you meet on? Sara and I met via YouTube when it was actually community-oriented. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, multiple times. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, I guess. She didn't actually like, force me outside, but I had to call my mother to pick me up. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. Did you get swine flu? No. What is your favorite type of cat? Aesthetically, I find Persians to be way too cute, though I don't support their continued breeding. It's literally abuse to breed animals that deformed. Do you support the LGBTQ community? I'm bisexual, so like- Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? Yeah, the Morningstar brand from Burger King (not the Impossible Burger one). It's genuinely not bad. If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? I'm not educated enough on like, any, to properly answer this question. If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? N/A Do you own any Webkinz stuffed animals? I was that Bad Bitch(tm) with like,,,, almost all of them back in the day. If so, do you have a Webkinz online account? It exists, but idr the password sobs. If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? I would have a character for like two days, not go back on for years, repeat a couple times... but idk how old I was. Do you own any Nintendo video game consoles/handhelds? GameBoys and a DS Lite, yes. What religion were you raised in? Roman Catholicism. Are you still that religion, if you had one? Far from it. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Buddhism and Wicca. What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? Idk. Were/are you a teacher’s pet? Not like, the kind that sucked up to the teacher for their personal benefit, but if you mean just as in the teacher's favorite, yeah. Do you like pink lemonade? Hell yeah man. What’s your favorite U2 song, if you have one? I don't listen to them. Were your parents born in the United States? Yeah. Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? I want it to be perfectly and violently clear that I fucking despise you if a child being fed fucking offends you. Why or why not? Because women's bodies aren't sexual fucking objects designed for your viewing pleasure. Write an unpopular/offensive opinion of yours here. I’m interested. Buckle up, lads. Seatbelts fastened? Ass properly in the seat? Airbags in place? There are two genders.

[ebhenah]

Klancemas December 18: Snowed In

@monthlyklance 

Klancemas 2018

"Jigsaw"

Dec 18: Snowed In

(A future Klance-Family Fic)

Keith woke to the smell of food. Something vaguely reminiscent of bacon and eggs, but not… quite. There was a very strange quiet stillness to the air that he wasn’t a huge fan of, too. And he wasn’t the only one who felt it- Kosmo was pacing. Weird. There was something weird going on.

He was just about to call out to Lance when the bedroom door swung open and Lance appeared before him, dressed in pj bottoms and an apron, carrying a tray, and holding a neon green alien flower between his teeth, tango-style. “Ayyy-baape,” he said around the stem, the flower making his pronunciations strange, and set the tray over Keith’s lap. He pulled the flower out of his mouth and bowed dramatically, offering up the pleasant smelling plant with an over the top flourish. “Breakfast in bed for Mr. Kogane, prepared especially for you BY Mr. Kogane.”

“Lance, the wedding was six months ago,” he laughed, accepting the flower, “when are you going to get sick of that joke?”

“Ummm… never!” He looked scandalized, “you, sweetums, did not get to see the look on your face when you found out I was taking your name. If you had, you’d know, I am never going to get sick of reminding you that I am Mr. Kogane. Ever.”

“Dork,” he muttered, letting his hair fall into his face to hide his blush… because, despite his protests, he loved it. He loved that Lance took his name. Loved Lance’s reasons for it “your Dad was a hero, and he had one son… who is also a hero… I am VERY proud to be a Kogane”. Loved that Lance made a point of reminding him of it, or correcting people who called him McClain. Loved that even now, half a year after the wedding, he’d still find ‘Mr. & Mr. Kogane’ doodled on scrap paper and napkins and the margins of paperwork that had been within reach when Lance was trying to pay attention to something that bored him. It was something he hadn’t thought mattered to him until the instant that it happened.

Lance had a knack for knowing what would make him happy, or upset. It sometimes felt like Lance knew him better than he knew himself. When he’d mentioned it, Lance had waved him off saying that Keith knew- he’d just spent so long convincing himself not to care so he didn’t get disappointed when it didn’t happen, that he just ignored it. Lance didn’t ignore it.

Lance’s long fingers cupped his chin and tipped his face back up, “but I’m YOUR dork, so… what does that say about you, Mullet?”

“That I am incredibly lucky?” he guessed, smiling tenderly at Lance.

“Nice save,” Lance laughed, “you’re learning.”

“Maybe marriage just agrees with me,” he countered, closing the distance between them to give his husband a kiss. “Is this all for me, or are we sharing?”

“We are sharing,” Lance crawled into the bed beside him, “it’s more romantic…. And there are fewer dishes that way.”

“Alright, but we shouldn’t get distracted,” Keith said, trying for a serious tone, despite the huge smile on his face. “It feels really late. We need to get going.”

“Yeahhhh,” he drawled, “about that… we aren’t going anywhere.”

“What do you mean?” Keith froze, his fork mid-air. “We finished up the mission YESTERDAY. We need to get back.”

“Soooo, while we were sleeping, it snowed,” Lance offered him a wan smile.

“Okay- snow isn’t a big deal.”

“On thiiiiiiis planet, it kinda is, though,” Lance said, “because the entire cabin is buried. I was talking to Rigrill on the intercom- remember Rigrill? He was the check-in guy at that weird pool-slash-gym-slash-bouncey-house- building? Anyway, he said that this happens all the time and that we should be able to leave by the end of the night.”

“The end of the NIGHT?” Keith echoed.

“Yeah…” he looked sheepish, “by the time we get out of here, get to the Lions, and make our way home…”

“It will be lunchtime, at the earliest,” he sighed.

“Yeah.” His shoulders sagged, “I’m sorry. I know you promised my parents we’d be there for Noche Buena celebrations tonight, and your mother and Shiro were going to join us for Christmas brunch in the morning. I shouldn’t have pushed to spend the night here. I messed up our first Christmas as a married couple.”

“You didn’t mess anything up, Lance,” Keith sighed, “you had no way of knowing that we’d get stuck here.”

“I just thought it was so pretty with all the ice walls and the rainbow lights and stuff.”

“I know,” he smiled at Lance, “and it was. We had a really great night. Stop being so hard on yourself. I can think of worse things than being stuck in a luxury cabin with you for a day.”

That seemed to cheer Lance up a bit, he peeked up at Keith, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “you’re sure?”

Keith laughed, “yes, Lance. I’m sure. Now, eat… before the breakfast you made us gets cold.”

Lance picked the flower up from where Keith had set it on the tray and tucked it behind his ear, the bright green standing out against Keith’s black hair. “Love you, Mullet.”

“I can’t believe you STILL call me that,” Keith sighed, “my hair was never a mullet. It’s just long.”

Lance paused in his eating long enough to snicker at him, “mullet… mulllllllll-et…”

“You realize that your mother loves me and has offered to show me allllll the photo albums, right? I heard rumors from your brother about some kind of mishap with beard trimmers?”

Lance gasped, clutching his chest dramatically, “you wouldn’t! You PROMISED!”

He took a bite of the not-bacon and quirked one eyebrow in a clearly challenging expression.

“Keith!” Lance squawked, “I’m serious! No looking at childhood pictures with my Mom! I almost put it in the VOWS!”

He washed the bite down with some water- which tasted oddly perfumey. Not BAD, just weird. “You realize that’s VERY strange, right?” he laughed, “almost concerningly so. Silvio looks almost exactly like you and he’s a cute kid- what on EARTH could be so awful in those pictures.”

“Nope! Not telling! And you are going to KEEP that promise. Right?”

Keith narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but relented. “Fine. I promised. I keep my promises.” He leaned over to kiss Lance’s jaw softly, “just… remember that I ALSO promised to love you no matter what the universe throws at us. I think some bad photographs and embarrassing home videos falls into that category… don’t you, Tumbleweed?”

“Yeahhhh,” Lance drawled, “I don’t want to risk it.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Keith muttered, shaking his head.

“Hey! You knew that when you married me!”

“I wasn’t claiming it was a NEW development, Lance!”

The conversation devolved into their unique brand of flirting- half good natured ribbing, part challenging each other, and part genuine affection. Most people didn’t quite get it, but it worked for them. By the time the food was gone, they were both well-fed, as was Kosmo, who was routinely snuck morsels from each of them as they both pretended not to notice the other breaking the ‘no table scraps for the space wolf’ rule.

Keith insisted on clearing the tray away, since Lance had cooked. The cabin had started to get chilly, so after he loaded the dishes into the cleaning machine, he built up the fire. The alien wood burned blue and purple and green, but he’d been assured that it was absolutely safe. It was pretty, actually. Once the fireplace was pumping heat out again he wandered over to the funky windows. They looked like the rest of the wall, but you could trigger a panel and they turned completely transparent. He and Lance had spent a good few hours taking in the breathtaking views from their windows of the ice walls- huge cliffs of what looked like icicles, that caught the light and glowed in rainbow hues. There had been some absolutely gorgeous pale blue and lilac swan-like creatures that Lance had fallen in love with, too. As the sun set, the entire place lit up, and the birds took to the sky once full dark hit, luminescent against a starless sky. It had been well worth getting stuck here an extra day.

He wanted to get an idea of how the snow clearing was coming along, so he triggered the windows. At first he thought it hadn’t worked- there’d been so little change in the greyish blue wall. It took him a moment to realize that the light was different in the window sections. The walls were the same color as a drift of snow. Lance hadn’t been kidding when he’d said the cabin was buried! Yikes!

“Cool! I found some… umm… I think that’s a board game, but I don’t know the alphabet, so probably not gonna be able to figure out the rules… Oh! This is a jigsaw puzzle! No language barrier to a jigsaw puzzle, right?”

Keith looked over to see his husband, barefoot and bare chested, but wrapped in a blanket he’d stolen from the bed, holding up a wide, shallow box triumphantly. His heart skipped a beat, just at the sight. They’d been married for 6 months, engaged for a year and a half before that, dating for almost a year before THAT… and before they’d started officially dating… well, things had been complicated and confusing and intense. But he could barely remember what life was like without Lance by his side. He SHOULD be accustomed to it by now… but no. A few times a day.  Everyday. Every SINGLE day. Without fail. A few times a day, Lance would say something, or he’d catch a glimpse of him doing something totally normal and unremarkable, or he’d catch a whiff of Lance’s scent lingering on his skin, or the pillow, or his collar and he’d fall, all over again. His breath would catch, just like it was doing right now. He’d get butterflies, just like he had right now. His heart would skip a beat, just like it just had… and his blood would sing,  drowning out everything but Lance. “No, I guess there isn’t,” he answered with a smile.

“Spiked hot chocolate and puzzles in front of the fire?” Lance suggested, “I’ll share my blanket…”

“I think that’s OUR blanket, babe.”

“Possession is nine tenths of the law, love. I know you know that.” Lance tsked, “but my offer to share still stands…” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, making Keith laugh.

“Alright,” he agreed, “you get set up with the puzzle, I’ll make us some spiked cocoa.”

“Yes! Best hubby ever!”

“Are you talking about me? Or patting yourself on the back?” he teased.

“A little of column a, little of column b,” Lance shot back.

It took four rounds of spiked hot chocolate, and a fair bit of good natured squabbling to complete the puzzle. When they’d pressed the final piece into place, the image on the puzzle changed. What had been a simple geometric pattern of softly shifting colors morphed into a holographic image of the ice cliffs, a flock of those swans taking flight and dissipating into twinkling lights that lingered in the air for a moment.

“Wow,” Lance breathed, his face flushed, eyes bright, features soft and relaxed from the buzz they’d gotten from the hot chocolate, flickering light from the fire dancing over his face and hair. “Soooo beautiful…”

“Yeah,” Keith agreed, heat coiling in his gut, skin crackling from being so close to Lance, curled into the same blanket, brushing and bumping against each other for the last couple of hours. “Gorgeous…”

Lance turned his face, it looked like he’d been about to say something, when he’d caught the expression on Keith’s face. Keith could watch the realization that he hadn’t been looking anywhere near the hologram when he’d agreed wash over Lance’s face in a sweep of color. The flush from the alcohol deepened into a true blush, those blue eyes darting away and then back again, “did you even see what the puzzle did?”

“Mmhmm,” he nodded, “kinda… corner of my eye…” He reached out to trace his fingers along Lance’s jawline, smiling when Lance let his eyes drift shut in a very long blink and sighed.

“You know,” Lance whispered, wrapping his arms around Keith under the blanket, “technically, we are still newlyweds…”

“Mmmm?” He tipped his face up to Lance’s.

“Mmmhmmm… and newlyweds are kind of notorious for not being able to keep their hands off each other…”

“Ahhh… yeah… that… is a thing that is true…”

“And it’s not like we can really GO anywhere…” Lance’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“Not safely, anyway,” Keith agreed, inching closer, “and we have a limited supply of firewood…”

“Very true… we should,” his gaze settled on Keith’s mouth, his own tongue peeking out to lick his lips, “do all we can to… conserve heat…”

Keith nodded slowly, completely mesmerized by Lance’s face, “keep each other warm…”

“Yeah. That.” And then Lance was kissing him and they were falling back onto the plush rug in in front of the fire all hungry kisses and lazy caresses… and by the time either of them was ready to pay any attention to anything but each other, the snow had been cleared- much earlier than expected.

If they rushed, they might just be able to get to Cuba before midnight. Maybe. Keith slid into the pilot seat in Black’s cockpit and rolled his eyes at Black’s almost teasing reaction to his emotional state. “Stuff it, Kitty. I’m a newlywed. I’m supposed to be lovestruck,” he muttered, getting situated.

“Keith?” Lance’s face popped up on the display in front of him. “There was a gift on my seat when I got here. Is this from you? Or did someone find some way into Red?”

“It’s from me,” Keith answered, smiling, “Kosmo played Santa for me.”

“You want me to open it now?” Lance asked, beaming.

“Up to you,” Keith answered, “it’s nothing that NEEDS to be private, if that’s what you are wondering.”

“Then I think I’ll wait,” he answered, chewing at his lip as if he was second guessing himself. “Let’s get home.”

About halfway back to Earth, Lance popped up on Keith’s display again, “when did you find the time to get this!?!”

Keith laughed, “I thought you said you were going to wait?”

“I DID wait,” Lance huffed, “we are halfway home! Now, answer me!”

“I asked Rigrill about it when we were leaving. He said the gift shop had a bunch. I bought one, the shop wrapped it, Kosmo dropped it off- all while we were walking back to the Lions. You like it?”

“Babe! I love it. That was the coolest puzzle I ever saw,” Lance gushed, “and I like… having… a reminder…” Lance flushed adorably.

Keith smiled, “good. Me, too. I really liked our first Christmas Eve as a married couple.”

“Aww, you’re being all romantic on me and I can’t even kiss you right now. Evil, wonderful man.”

“I feel so loved,” Keith teased.

“You should,” Lance replied, his voice soft and loaded with emotion, “because you are. So loved.”

“I know,” he answered, softly, “I DO know, I never doubt it… and so are you.”

“I never doubt it, either.”

[crazyblondelife]

Everything I Bought on Amazon in March

At the end of March, I did a post about what I bought on Amazon and it was really well received, so I decided to do it again for April. I’m not sure what the psychology is about what you purchase, but it might be interesting to know based on these purchases…they seem very random. I am a bit impulsive and like instant gratification so clearly Amazon can be dangerous for me! I really laughed when I saw the strange combination of things I bought. You’ll see I was clearly going through an organizing phase! It’s funny how you can go back and remember the times in your life based on what you bought! Anyway…here’s what I bought in April on Amazon in reverse order!

The beach towel above is linked below and very plush…just the way I like them! I’m planning to order more!

I’m still in Germany and I know this lens has been delivered! I am beyond excited to get home and try it out!

Summer is the perfect time to try out some new grilling seasoning! I love curry and can’t wait to try this on chicken and shrimp!

These foil packets are great for grilling shrimp and veggies!

I bought this citrus reamer for my daughter and son-in-law! I’ve had one like it for years and use it all the time!

Another gift for my daughter! I realized that she only had one sauce pan and that will never do!

These strainers are indispensable for so many kitchen tasks!

If you’ve never tried Maldon Sea Salt, you are truly missing out! This is a finishing salt and great to sprinkle over salads, or any food really after cooking! It’s also the best in chocolate chip cookies!

I bought these for my flight to Germany! I’m so ready to stop wearing a mask, but for now…

I want to start drinking celery juice every morning but I hat the mess that my juicer makes! A friend told me to get these nut milk bags and easily strain my celery juice! I haven’t tried them yet, but I’m sure they’re much easier because you just put them in the dishwasher or washing machine!

As you scroll down, you see that I’ve been on an organization tear! This rack is perfect for under the sink and it makes me so happy to have everything neat and tidy!

I’m actually using this container to hold my dishwasher pods. I’m always running out and now I can store 3 large bags of pods and see when they’re getting low!.

I like to store my leftovers in glass containers so they’re easier to reheat in the microwave!

I put this lazy Susan in the refrigerator to corral my jars of jam, mustard, etc. Everything is easy to find and looks so much neater!

This egg holder holds 18 eggs and I love how it looks! I have a glass front refrigerator and want everything to stay looking organized at all times!

These containers are being used in my refrigerator as well as in my pantry! When I get home, I’m going to order more because they’re really perfect for both!

As I said above, these beach towels are so plush and come in other colors! I can get one to match every swimsuit

I am curious to know what you’re buying on Amazon these days?

[peterstestkitchen]

Circus Peanut Peanut Butter

Rating: 5/5 ~ 16 votes

Time: 5 minutes (omnivore, unhealthy version), 7 minutes (vegan, unhealthy version), 1 hour (vegan, healthy version)

Every Thursday when I was a kid, my mom would plop me and my brother down at the local library for children’s storytime. When it was over and the head librarian had dismissed us, I would roam the library in order to gaze upon my favorite library things: the model ships, the strange YA cartoon books, and the aisle where every book had a blue sticker of a man smoking a pipe. When mom showed up again and it was time to go, a video cassette—the Star Trek episode, “The Trouble with Tribbles,” usually—was clasped between my grubby paws. In my brother’s, the latest installment in the Hank the Cowdog children’s book series. Ahh… just thinking about the VHS section and I can smell the polypropylene-imbued air sure to be found when in close proximity to the clamshell case palisade!

Come spring, a box of circus tickets would appear on the library counter suspiciously close to the checkout machine. The circus was coming to town! ...And our parents would never let us go. ...Until the day they did.

In truth, I don’t remember much from the circus. It wasn’t in a tent, it was in the town’s hockey arena—and poodles took the place of elephants. In fact, I didn’t even eat circus peanuts while there! Get this, my dad bought a box of Cracker Jacks—for himself! However, this was the genesis of my love affair with the circus. Sorry, honey. There’s someone else… and his name is Barry Lubin! (Barry Lubin is a famous clown.)

Fast forward to the near present and after getting the quarantine spring jibblies, I finally snapped and declared, “If I can’t go to the circus, well, in fact, I’ll bring the circus to me!” (Side note: still to this very day I have only been to the circus once. It’s more about having the feeling that I could go to a circus if I wanted to, rather than the feeling of being barred from a yearly ritual. After all, circuses are generally banal and raise many animal treatment issues. Again, it’s the romanticized circus I like. The Idea of Circus.) So I decided to acquire some circus peanuts, having never actually tried them before.

“So, from where did circus peanuts first appear, even?” you ask. Well, it appears no one knows. They are believed to have come onto the confectionary colosseum sometime in the 1800s, making them one of the oldest continuously produced candies. Well, I shouldn’t say continuously produced, as they originally were a seasonal treat before better packaging techniques were invented! Thank you, science! :) My best guess is that they originated as an ersatz peanut product, similar to how the hazelnut was used as a filler with which to cut chocolate products during a cocoa scarcity in Italy during WWII. (More talk about hazelnut spreads below!) Whatever the case, this homemade recipe is on scale! :) Okay, so back to business.

Acquiring circus peanuts in quarantine was a bit harder than expected. Every store I visited was sold out: Fleet Farm, Walgreens, Kwik Trip—all out! Alas, toilet paper wasn’t the only thing people were snatching up! Curse you, omnivores! (Side note: lest we forget this pandemic would have never happened had the world been vegan. I don’t think it’s wrong of me to suggest that everyone who consumes animal products from factory farms should have to pay the unemployed vegans an extra $600 a month. Why should I, a humble plant eater, pay for the mess of the omnivores yet again? Stop eating meat, y’all! Factually stated, 41% of all land in the United States is used for livestock! What a fuckin’ waste! And excusez mon français!)

So instead of continuing on a wild goose chase to find these golden eggs, I decided to take a radical approach and make my own circus peanuts. (Plus, I found out after Googling around that circus peanuts aren’t even vegan! For shame!) This is where things start to get a little tricky. You see, I’m a bit of a health nut. Well, maybe a little more than a bit of one... I may be a full-on health peanut! Peanuts like me would never eat something so processed anyway... But who’s to say I can’t have a taste of the circus in a healthy, vegan way? Why not make homemade circus peanut peanut butter? And better yet, why not use duckweed as a base instead of circus peanuts? You get all the goodness of the circus but in a spreadable way with all the health benefits of the most nutrient dense plant known to humanity. For yumzeez! :)

World’s healthiest food

For those who only know duckweed from smelly retention ponds, duckweed (also known as water lentils) is actually a great food for humans. It has more protein than soy, has many antioxidants, and is a natural source of B12. Get this, the bacteria that make B12 grow in a symbiotic relationship with the plant! Question: How neat is that? Answer: That’s pretty neat! And by the way, omnis, B12 comes from bacteria in the dirt that vegan animals eat. Given that most cows and chickens eat feed that’s been washed, these animals too have to be given vitamins—the meat you eat is trash :) 

So I finnicked for a long time to get the duckweed circus peanut peanut butter spread consistency right (we’ll save that process for a different post!), bought some peanut-shaped molds from eBay, found some food coloring in the back of the cabinet, and I was off to the races! Err, Circus! I had done it! I had made circus peanut peanut butter! Granted, it tasted more like an artificially flavored banana salad than candy, but it’s the thought that counts!

So… days go by and I get tested and find out I don’t have the coronavirus. Yipee! Time to see my folks! ...But I couldn’t serve that to my family. They’d think I’d lost my marbles! So instead, I came up with a more palatable, albeit less healthy, option. Instead of duckweed, I would use Trader Joe’s brand vegan marshmallows, dye them to the proper color, and mold them in shape. Then I could serve my folks organic, gluten free, non-GMO circus peanuts, or I could blend them to make totally delicious circus peanut peanut butter. Then maybe make a circus-y themed fluffernutter? Mmmmm!

And there’s even an option for the omnis among us: get real circus peanuts and follow the same procedure. (Just know if you do that, the gelatin you’ll be consuming will be from the bones, skin, and hooves of dozens of different cows or pigs.) For simplicity’s sake and also because I am collaborating with an omni for this post, we ended up going with regular circus peanuts. She had already purchased the circus peanuts before I could alert her that it had to be vegan. My bad! :^O “’Tis better to use the food you have than to let it go to waste.” Plus, they were Spangler brand, the classic choice for circus peanuts!

Aforementioned, I called in the big guns: food stylist, chef, event planner, and artist, Kendal Kulley. Check her out on Instagram! She assisted me as we made her favorite sandwich with the addition of my favorite ingredient: the Circus Peanut Peanut Butter and Pudding and Chocolate Peanut Butter Sandwich! First, take lightly toasted Whole Wheat bread (100% whole wheat works best). Then, slather a thick layer of homemade circus peanut peanut butter followed by a smathering of lemon pudding (Snack pack brand is my favorite, lemon is her favorite flavor (within the Snack pack brand family)). Next, add a sprinkling of hemp hearts for a bit of protein and roughage—not to mention polyunsaturated fats!

After that, Kendal likes to add a squidge of chocolate flavored peanut butter or hazelnut spread to thicken the whole thing up. Please note that I do not condone the use of most flavored peanut butters or products like Nutella as they often contain palm oil, a cash crop leading to rainforest deforestation. The same goes for cocoa. Instead, I propose we continue to advocate that the UN apportion monies to residents of poorer rainforested countries so they can live comfortably and keep our biggest source of oxygen intact. I’m happy pitching in a handful of dollars every year if it means I can keep breathing clean air :)

Then, simply close it up and enjoy! Buuuuuuut, if you’re feeling really ambitious like we are, you can make… wait for it… a TRIPLE DECKER! Just repeat the process over again with a third slice and add it on top! YUM. Cut it in half and there you have it! A perfect guilt-free (provided you followed the vegan duckweed version and omitted the peanut butter and used a more hearty bread) lunch item! Bon appétit!

I hope you enjoy this recipe and let me know in the comments how it turned out! It shouldn’t take any more than five minutes if doing the omni method (grrrr!) and about one hour for the healthy vegan method. It makes one jar worth and will last three to five days in the refrigerator—but it never lasts that long! Oh, and if you do end up having sandwich leftovers, it works great for a morning hash! But again, I, for one, almost never have leftovers! :)

Peace!

Peter 

Omnivore version (unhealthy):

Ingredients:

1 package Spangler brand circus peanuts

4 tbsp water

If making chunky, set aside one circus peanut to mince in a food processor or with a knife. In a large bowl, add the circus peanuts and water. Microwave for two minutes on high or until the circus peanuts have expanded to twice their size. Serve immediately or add to an airtight container.

Vegan version (unhealthy):

Ingredients:

1 package Trader Joe’s brand vegan marshmallows

4 tbsp water

2 drops natural banana flavor

4 drops orange food coloring

In a large bowl, add the marshmallows and water. Microwave for two minutes on high or until the marshmallows have expanded and softened. Mix in the food coloring and natural flavor and microwave for another minute. Add to mold and set sit until at room temperature. When fully set, add to Vitamix and blend until desired peanut butter consistency is achieved. Serve immediately or add to an airtight container.

Vegan version (healthy):

Ingredients:

6 cups fresh duckweed

4 tbsp flaxseed meal.

4 drops natural banana flavor

12-18 drops orange food coloring

If making homemade duckweed, follow these instructions and skip the next step. If collecting from a pond, read on. Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. In an Instant Pot or lesser pressure cooker, steam the duckweed for one minute on high pressure with the valve set to sealing. Do five minutes of natural pressure release. Blend in the Vitamix with food coloring, flaxseed meal, and banana flavor until it becomes a fine mush. Put in peanut mold. Place in the oven for 10 minutes, or until the peanuts have mostly dried out. Put back in the Vitamix and blend until you have the desired level of consistency. Serve immediately or add to an airtight container. 

Captions:

Oh look! An ant wanted to join us! Hello, little ant!

Comments:

Feel free to email me your comments and I will add them below :)

OMG this looks so goooood!

Thanks for the post, Peter! I just wanna say that I too used to go to the circus with my family every year and loved it! I will try this recipe ASAP.

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

kids again --

Beep. Beep. BeEP. BEEP.

Indiana H. Jones peeped open one brown-green eye as he shut off his alarm, swearing in mumbled Spanish. Shit, it was 6:30. Why the hell was he awake? He squinted at the glow of his phone screen, reading the reminder he’d set for himself.

WAKE UP DUMBASS AND CALL IN FOR ASH

Oh, right. Quietly easing himself away from his deeply snoozing girlfriend, the curly haired skateboarder crept into the kitchen, pulling a monster can from the back of the fridge. It wasn’t coffee, or his usual, but it’d have to do. There was no earthly way to make coffee and not wake Ashley West. He popped the top and drank it while he dialed, retreating into the bathroom because it was easier to talk without having to muffle himself.

When he, unsurprisingly, got the answering machine, the man grinned. “Hiya Deb!” He chirped, addressing the cranky receptionist, “Seems like Ash is feeling pretty sick today, like, so bad that she can’t even call in for herself. So I’m callin’ in for her, alright? Tell everyone that needs to know that she’ll be back to perfect health on Monday,good as new, promise!” Maybe even better than good as new, if his plan worked as he hoped it would. He said his farewells and quickly hung up, peeking in on his girlfriend to make sure she was still asleep resisting his strong urges to climb back into bed and catch a few extra Z’s himself and instead padding into the kitchen to get a start on breakfast.

He made the pancakes as he knew she liked them, adding maybe even too many chocolate chips. He also added bacon and eggs and all the other traditional breakfast foods to the order, half cooking out of nervous before he started the pot of coffee he knew’d start pulling Ash from sleep.

Sure enough, little more than about 15 minutes later, Ash was padding into the kitchen, sleepily rubbing one eye. “Indy, you’re up early...” She mumbled, pouring herself a mug of coffee. “And you made breakfast too.” Her eyes narrowed the slightest bit as she turned to him. “Okay, what did you do? It’s not that I don’t trust you, but you’re only ever up this early unless it’s a weekend, which it’s not, or if you did something bad and you want me to fix it.” 

Indy didn’t reply, simply pointing at the clock above their fridge without saying a word. Ash blinked at it, stare darting between him and the time before her lips curled into a frown. “Oh very funny, aren’t you, Jones?” She muttered, grabbing a piece of bacon and sitting at the table. “Changing the clocks around the house to make me think I’m late for work.”

Indy tossed his monster can into the recycling with a slightly smug, crooked grin, “nah, time’s right.”

“Are you kid--IndIANA JONES, WHY DIDNT YOU WAKE ME, YOU DORK?” Ash yelped, downing the rest of her coffee and scampering off towards their shared room. “I CAN’T BE LATE.”

"Well, it’s a good thing you aren’t.” He grinned as she reappeared around the corner and stared at him, more confused now than upset. “I thought you could use a day off, so I called in for you.”

Ash stared him for several minutes before she spoke again, sounding the words out slowly. “You did what?”

“I called in for you.” Indy repeated. “Look Ash, you’ve been working yourself to the bone lately for no reason, so I figured I would help by giving you a day off.”

“A day o--Indy, now I’m gonna be behind!”

"You’re already like four weeks ahead. There’s nothing to get behind on. Plus, I’ve already called in. So you might as well just enjoy it.”

She stomped towards him, Indy preparing himself for a lecture about the importance of work and how she did not appreciate him doing this even though the gesture had been out of kindness, when instead she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. “You’re such a dork.” She mumbled into his chest. “You’re lucky I love you, Jones. Otherwise, I might actually fight you for this.”

“Oh yeah? Bring it, shorty. I’ll just sit on you.”

Ash glared at him, but before she could reply her stomach growled loudly. She flushed bright red, “You’re on, you giant! But... after breakfast.”

“After breakfast,” Indy agreed. He watched as she piled up her plate, just drinking in the sight of his girlfriend without the rush and stress of work on her shoulders. After a moment, he piped up again. “So... I did plan something if you’re up for it.”

“Something?” Ash said, raising one curious eyebrow as she drowned her pancakes in syrup.

“Uh-huh.”

“What kind of something?” 

“Something. It’s a surprise.”

She frowned at him, but didn’t press any further. “Okay, but why? I thought this was supposed to be a day off, not an ‘Indy drags Ash around the world’ day.”

“It’s not around the world! It’s to a few places, and like I said, if you’re up for it. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. So are you in or not?”

“Fine. Fine. I’m in, I guess. This better not be something questionable, Jones.”

“Me?” Indy feigned offense, “Questionable things? Why, Ashley I’m surprised at you.”

She snorted at him and they finished breakfast in silence, deciding to wash the dishes together. “Guess I can take an actual bath for once, ” She said as she dried and put away the last dish, striding towards the bathroom. Indy grinned crookedly and bounded after her, the short girl whirling to stare at him. “No.”

Indy pouted, eyes rounding in a way that he knew would crumble Ash’s defenses. 3, 2, 1... “Okay fine, but we’re bathing. No wandering hands, got me Jones?” 

Well it takes forever, and the water is damn cold by the time they finish, but hey at least they’re clean. A couple more hours and they manage to actually get out of the house and headed towards their destination, fingers interlocked and walking close and it’s early afternoon. “So, where exactly are we headed?” Ash asks Indy, green eyes sliding his way. “And why couldn’t we bring Queso? He could use a little time outside.”

Her boyfriend simply grins and doesn’t give away a thing. “Surprise, remember?” He throws back brightly. “Plus Queso is fine, I took him out this morning and I’ll take him out again when we get back.”

Ash hums noncommittally at that, but doesn’t argue as they continue onward. The city is more crowded than usual today it seems, bustling with people. Pretty as always though, she thinks, quickly distracted from this by Indy tugging her along in the opposite direction towards the park. “So we’re going to the park?”

“What we’re going to is at the park, yes.” 

She can hear the music from here, something light and poppy that kind of makes her want to dance, and the crowd goes from being kind of big to being large as hell as they round the corner and arrive at the front gates of the park. “The carnival?”

“Surprise,” Indy declares. Ash blinks at the carnival’s sign and then at her boyfriend, still not having said anything. “Surprise!” Indy repeats, starting to look a little crestfallen. “Er, do you not like it? We can do something else if you want. I haven’t even bought the tickets yet so--”

She cuts him off with a kiss and grins, “I love it.” Her eyes crinkle at the corners in a way that makes Indy’s absolutely adores. “Also, I’m going to kick your ass at the games. Our fight from this morning, remember?”

He grins then, agreeing, “It is after breakfast.” 

They stand in line and bicker in good spirit the entire time, but as soon as they get inside Ash is dragging him towards the ring toss star. “I bet I win a bigger prize than you!” 

“Wrong!” Indy replies. It’s only later that he realises that he must’ve been talking about himself as Ash tosses her ring over a bottleneck in her second shot (he wastes all five of his and doesn’t make a single hit, but Ash is a gracious girlfriend and gives him her teddy to ease his sorrows).

At the ball throwing stall, he does better, winning a giant plus dog himself that kind of reminds him of Queso and that he gives to Ash, but just as quickly ends up holding himself along with the teddy as she scouts out other spots for them to go. “Oh!” He hears her exclaim before he’s being dragged elsewhere.

They end up in a photo booth and do their best to pose their silliest and cutest each time the flash snaps, Indy only just remembering to grab their pictures before they head into the section of rides. 

They ride two roller coasters, and an off-brand tunnel of love, and a bunch of really ridiculous and really slow kiddie rides just for the hell of it. “Let’s go on that!” Ash declares, pointing up to one huge tower ride. It’s called The Hurricane and if the title makes Indy a little queasy, he doesn’t really remember to feel it with Ash grinning as brightly and as happily as she does.

It’s rare to see the young councilwoman let loose and Indy appreciates it more and more with every laugh that she gives him. The rides more of a whirlwind than a hurricane and as they land and stagger off, giant plushes attached to his back and still holding Ash’s hand, she tugs him after her again. 

They do more competitions and eat terrible carnival food and visit the bigtop and it’s so, so much fun that Indy catches himself staring and realises with one tilt of his head and a heartbeat that he’s so very deeply in love with Ash and that if he had a ring, he’d marry her here.

Soon enough, they find themselves near the band. Indy doesn’t know them and it’s obvious they’re a local group and they’re playing cheesy pop and no one’s really listening minus a couple of people but the music and his feelings make him giggle giddly and Indy pulls Ash close to snag a kiss before twirling her away and calling “dance with me!” over the music.

She pauses and looks at him and Indy wonders if he’s said the wrong thing, but then she grins and boogies to the music, Indy following along. It’s admittedly a little awkward and he knows they look like dopes, but they’re having fun and it’s apparently catching because a few other people join in and before they know it they’ve started a nice little dance floor.

It keeps going even as they stumble away, leaning into each other, wandering past the carnival and off to the skate park. They don’t have their boards though, so they just lie back and look up at the stars and they’re love-drunk and kind of sleepy and coming off the high of being together and having fun and Indy looks at Ash and grins and thinks, “I’m gonna marry you.” except it’s out loud and Ash agrees.

“That sounds nice,” she says with a loud yawn, “what’s our wedding gonna be like?”

“Big!” Indy decides, “all our family. Bread and Queso, too of course though I guess they kind of fall into the family part of things.”

“Sounds great.” Ash mumbles.

“D’you think Stacc’d be my best man? I think he would, but I dunno. Finn and Mase and Humph can be my groomsmen I guess. Do you think we could get a giant cake?” Ash snores and curls up tight against him and Indy only grins to himself and pulls out his phone to start researching engagement rings. He’s gonna marry this girl if it’s the last thing he does.

[siren-dragon]

Blankets and Boxers (Ardyn Izunia x Reader) Ch. 1

Hi again everyone!

I was finally able to put this into writing for a FFXV Imagine I did a while ago here: https://siren-dragon.tumblr.com/post/162513236781/imagine-this when my washing machine broke.

Sorry this chapter is so short, as I’ve started my Fall Term and had spent the entire day running around like a headless chicken looking for my classes. Anyway, please in enjoy this! ^_^

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To the typical individual, Sunday was a day of rest. It was the one time a person could sleep in without any consequence, or go out to brunch with their significant other. Perhaps they wished to walk through the park with their dog and enjoy the beautiful sunshine that graced all of Insomnia. Or maybe it was a time for people to spend their hard-earned money on required necessities or frivolous items of interest. Sunday truly was the one day where people could relax and enjoy their weekend.

Sadly, you were not a member of that great society.

Instead you had woken up at an ungodly hour to organize your laundry so you could wash the select clothes you would need for the coming days of work. A job that would have been unnecessary had Prompto and Gladio not started a fire within the washer, effectively killing the poor piece of machinery. Though how they managed to do that remained a mystery to you even a week after the incident. As a result, you ended up having a stack of sugar, flour, and egg covered clothes lying in your hamper from your work at the patisserie.  

And even though you were angry and distraught at the loss of your washer, you couldn’t bring yourself to not forgive your two friends. Though they did manage to sneak their way back into your good graces by doing some heavy lifting for you around the pastry shop.

Tossing the last of your dirty t-shirts into the hamper, you dragged the laundry basket out of your flat, to the elevator, and out the front doors.

“Good morning Crowe,” you called to your brunette neighbor who had just walked inside the building.

“What the hell are you doing up so early (f/n)?” Crowe, your next-neighbor asked, stifling a yawn.

You sighed, heaving the laundry basket higher to rest it against your hip. “Laundry, unfortunately.”

“Your washer is broken? What happened?”

“Prompto and Gladio happened, that’s what.”

Crowe laughed, “I’m going to assume it was a pure accident; though with those two, who knows. But I feel your pain; remember when Nyx melted that bowl on the top of my stove.”

“The scent of burnt plastic still haunts me to this day.” You chuckled, “anyway, I’d best get going before the place becomes too crowded.”

“Sure thing, and I’ll be thinking of you and your misery as I lay happily in my bed.”

“You are too kind Crowe.” You huffed sarcastically, ignoring her roaring laughter that echoed within the small lobby.

While Insomnia was a large metropolis and always busy, many took advantage of the weekend by staying within their homes and enjoying the start of the weekend. And due to it being 06:40 AM, the usually crowded city streets had considerably less traffic than was normal. Placing the basket within the boot of your car, you took off toward the closest laundromat you could find.

Within 20 minutes you had reached your destination, a simple store front that sat underneath another apartment complex and across the street from a florist. Pulling your car into the small, 8 car parking lot, you grabbed hold of your basket and marched as purposely as you could with your slightly sleep-deprived brain.

The launderette was rather small, consisting of two back-to-back rows of washers that sat in the middle of the room to your left, while another two rows of washers sat to your right. Against the far-left wall sat dryers of various sizes, some already filled with clothing. Tables and cheap, plastic lawn furniture littered the room to provide a place to sit or fold your clothes if you desired. All around people who had the misfortune of not having their own washers tried to snag any unoccupied machine. Moving through the cramp walkway, and past a head-bobbing college student that nearly spilt detergent on your hamper, you managed to claim an unused washing machine.

“Let’s see…300 gil for each.” You muttered under your breath, trying to fish out the required currency. “Alright, so then clothes first and then detergent-”

You glanced down at your basket and groaned, realizing that you had ended up forgetting the soap at home due to your exhausted state. Placing the basket atop the washer, claiming it as your own to ward off other customers, and walked toward the vending machine which dispensed the necessary items should one forget them at home.

“Are you kidding me?” You moaned, glaring at the “OUT OF ORDER: FOR REAL!” posted on the machine. “For the love of Shiva, this is ridiculous!” You snapped, kicking the vending machine angrily.

“….Excuse me,” a voice spoke from behind you.

Sighing, you spun around to ask what the problem was, only to have your mind black out as you stared at the person before you. The first thought that crossed your mind was that the man was tall, easily 6 feet if not more. Hair the color of a fine, red wine spilled around his head in a mass of curls that put even your messy ponytail to shame; matching the stubble that was scattered across his jaw. The man was dressed in a black t-shirt that said Ebony: Human Gasoline with a pair of grey basketball shorts and a pair of well-worn running shoes with no socks. Golden-amber eyes stared at you from behind a pair of black-framed glasses, which oddly enough, reminded you of a cat.

“Erm…..you aren’t the owner of this place, are you? Because I didn’t mean to kick the machine.”

“No, I am not the proprietor.” The man chuckled, the sound smooth and rich like a bitter chocolate. “I thought you could use some assistance,” he answered, holding out a bottle of detergent.

“How did you- oh you….saw me….with the vending machine….” You trailed off.

He smiled, “that machine has been broken for several weeks now, so you are not the first to have expressed violence against it.”

You blushed in embarrassment, grinning sheepishly before accepting the bottle of soap. “Well, that makes me feel a little better. And thank you, by the way.”

“Your welcome,” he replied politely before leaning against a washer once more.

“So….” you started, causing him to turn back toward you. “…Is your washer broken too?” Mentally face-palming yourself at the awkward conversation starter.

The man smirked, as if he knew how awkward and ridiculous your question was. “Yes, but the new washer has been delayed with its shipment. And what of you?”

“My….friends, managed to set a fire within my washer.” You replied with a shrug.

He roared with laughter, the infectious sound causing you to smile. Huh, he was rather cute when he laughed….”

“I-I am sorry, but how in the name of Ifrit did your friends manage that.” The magenta-haired man asked, still grinning.

“To this day, it remains a mystery.” You said, raising the pitch of your voice like one would when telling ghost stories, causing both of you to laugh.

And so, your morning went, with you washing your clothes while conversing with your new companion. You had to admit that the magenta-haired man was certainly attractive, and a welcomed distraction from your mundane chore. He introduced himself as Ardyn; a name you thought suited him very well, to which he thanked you kindly. In exchange, you told him you owned a patisserie, and laughed as his eyes lit up at the mention of sweets. But time seemed to fly as the two of you spoke together and before you knew it, it was already 08:30 AM.

“I’m afraid I must take my leave.” Ardyn spoke, placing the rest of his clothes into the hamper that sat beside him.

“Yeah, me too. But it was nice to meet you; and maybe I’ll see you around….” you replied, holding out your hand to him.

He grasped your hand gently and lifted it to his mouth, placing a chaste kiss across the back. “It was a pleasure, (f/n). I do hope we meet again.”

You felt your skin flush as your face flushed as red as a tomato. Quickly you grabbed the basket and gave a nervous laugh, “M-Me too. I- um…enjoy your Sunday, Ardyn.”

“You as well, (f/n).”

With that final farewell, you all but bolted for your car, waved goodbye, and drove back to your flat. Quickly you ran up the stairs and into your 4th floor flat, humming happily to yourself while your cat meowed from his place on the sofa. Grinning, you heaved your basket toward your bedroom and proceeded to place you clothes back into their designated places within your dresser. Yet when you pulled out the first piece of clothing you froze, staring in horror at the white, collared shirt that was certainly NOT yours.

“This….This is a man’s shirt. What the- where are my clothes-” You stopped abruptly, eyes widening as you retrieved a pair of black, cotton-blend boxers from within the basket. “Oh no…..”

Ardyn stared in surprise at the article of clothing he had retrieved from “his” laundry basket; the lacy, lavender bra hanging from his finger like a freshly caught fish.

“Well….that can’t be good…..”