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taylor-titmouse · 7 months ago

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2024 Book Retrospective

i did this last year for all the books i released in 2023, and i've been looking forward to doing it again for this year because it was Such a wonky ride. i released 3 new novellas, collected 3 old ones in a new illustrated release, put out a new freebie, and dipped my toes into artbooks for the first time. that's not even including the multiple extra things i wrote this year but will release next year. it felt to me like i barely got anything out in 2024, but looking back i really did plenty.

anyway let's get into it! these will probably contain spoilers for the books because i want to talk about them openly. if you haven't read them yet... they're on sale for 40% off until the new year!

The Masson Circle Collection (1-3), released in January

so! we started out the year with this updated version of some of my earlier works. daffodils, carnations, and laurels were among my first forays into publishing novellas, and were the last of my romances before i transitioned more deliberately into erotica. the distinction is practically arbitrary since i do still write about people in love, but it's not the focus so much as the sexual titillation.

but anyway. because these were romances and not Porn (despite having explicit sex in them), and because they came out before i'd really hit my stride as an erotic author/illustrator in 2021/2022, they never got the attention i'd have liked for them! they were the last before i made the switch to properly illustrating my books; they had sketchbook sections at the back instead. i started the roger crenshaw series shortly afterward, which is when my work really took off. so it's like these stories just missed their window.

but i wanted people to read them! these stories and characters are dear to my heart and i felt like they deserved a fair shake, so i spent a month or so at the end of 2023 revising the text to be closer to my standards (though they were pretty good to start with!) and made 30 new illustrations for it. i kept myself Busy getting this ready. it would be a huge release to kick off the new year!

.... and then it didn't do very well anyway. lmao. maybe i priced it too high, maybe i didn't hype it enough, maybe it's because as much as i love all the characters, they're hard to draw and not as exciting as a monster of the day. who knows! but i'm glad i did it, if only for myself. as i've said, these stories were important to me and my growth as an author. if you like historical queer romance with a crime thriller edge, something like kj charles (because she was my biggest inspiration at the time) you should check these out! i promise they're really good despite being on the older side.

The Long Road, released in May

boy that's a big gap between january and may. so what happened there is i actually wrote the night guest first in january-february, and then the long road in march-april. but IMPORTANTLY, i learned my editor @petitemortality was going to become available for work again in april. it'd been probably a year since i'd had his hands on my work and i was Gasping for it. i've compared it to receiving the sponge treatment--just being put through the wringer and coming out So much better for it after a year of bad habits and complacency building up. so basically i put all publishing on hold until he could Fix Me.

and then i ended up rewriting both of those books practically from scratch based on his advice and godddd they really Were so much better for it. it's AGONY in the moment, but the work is worth it. anyway let's talk about the actual work huh.

the genesis of these characters is So funny, because i don't think a single one of them was created for the purpose of this story, rather they all existed as various mobs/nobodies to draw. the goblins and bandits beside vanesse were just designs i used a few times when i wanted to draw characters getting gangbanged. vanesse and angre were created Just for a patreon suggestion of "trans femme bandit queen fucking a trans masc knight". and tourmaline only exists because i wanted to draw a princess getting gangbanged and eveline didn't feel "right" for it anymore. and i ended up with this perfect mishmash of characters that slotted together into a story so naturally that i remember waking up in the middle of the night and banging out the outline in the notes app before falling back asleep and starting to write it the next day.

and it was received pretty well! it had a ton of buildup from me drawing the characters constantly for the duration of the writing and doing a ton of public worldbuilding for dwarves. god i love the worldbuilding for the dwarves. i'm desperate to get deeper into it, i just need to find the story for it. and the goblins. everybody loves the goblins and so do i. and vanesse. ahhhhh.... i'm just so fond of everybody in this book lol. just a big confluence of Toys.

oh yeah and since last year i picked favorite scenes, i think my favorite is angre's internal monologue at the start of his chapter. we get a lot of the worldbuilding there (so of course i like it) but also the Point of the book comes together. i'd struggled a lot with that whole bit in the first draft, but the final draft really just *chefs kiss* it works, for me.

The Night Guest, released in July

as i mentioned before i actually wrote this one much earlier into the year! and immediately had known it wasn't ready, and so backburnered it for months until my editor could essentially fix it. and he fixed the hell out of it. it was a directionless mess in the first draft because i hadn't figured out the characters' voices, what they actually wanted, why they behaved how they did, none of it. it was his idea to structure it more deliberately like an old folktale of a woman outwitting a best, and it snapped into place. of course it was a nearly total rewrite that added like 7000 words (and to this day i'm still not sure how) but it was completely worth it. i feel like i've said that multiple times in this post but it's always true. i cannot stress enough how much i was gasping for a good editing. it's like a cleanse.

this is another story that just sort of Happened out of nowhere. mrs. arakawa was a side character in the dragon double feature 2, and people liked her, and asked about her getting her own monster boyfriend, and so toru was born. partially to get practice drawing that bodytype, partially because i think onis are hot, and then the general shape of a story came to me and i started writing it. without a perfectly clear vision of what it would be. and that's how we got to where we were at the start of this. oops.

i have two favorite parts, the first being this illustration:

when toru is describing the oni woman he was supposed to marry. his entire narrative arc and personal struggle was constructed for the purpose of this joke. i agonized for DAYS, maybe weeks, trying to make his motivation of "i didn't want to get married" work with mrs. arakawa's own feelings about marriage and him having to leave at the end and come back and all of that. it was killing me. but it worked out in the end and i'm so happy it did because i still think the joke that he didn't want to marry a shoujo nadeshiko archetype because he thinks she's ugly is fucking hilarious.

my actual favorite scene is him and mrs. arakawa telling each other stories about themselves. i had a lot of fun trying to ape the rhythms of kabuki performance and rakugo with it.

Spring with the Unicorns, released in June

technically this ought to go before the night guest because it came out first but considering i wrote the first draft of the night guest in january *waves hands* it's all loosey goosey anyway

so this came about because i had the idea to do a book called Season's Breedings (so many of my books happen because i thought of a title and worked backwards from there) and it was literally just going to be the breeding habits of fantasy fuckworld creatures arranged by season. i wrote this one first because it seemed the easiest and then it was less than 4k words, and every other story i had in mind was going to be Much More than that and also didn't come together as easily. so on a very last minute whim i illustrated this and threw it out for free on the last day of pride.

it's me at my loftiest because i was going for a sort of third person omniscient fable type beat, because that's what unicorns deserve. i like it, and it's a good little treat to give out for free. especially because everybody loves the unicorns and loves asking me the same four lore questions and i can just say 'go read the free story' lmao.

it's too short to really have a favorite Scene but barberry is my favorite unicorn. just love everything about that guy. angry little bastard.

Poker Night with the Arizona Dogs, released September

it's not prose but it counts! this is the first artbook i've ever released, though technically not the first i ever made. the unicorn stockades series came before it but will be released sometime next year. it's a bit more spring-seasony. but anyway.

these are a lot of fun to make! i am, at my heart, a comic artist (my day job is graphic novels, buy my graphic novel it comes out in february) so telling a single story in multiple illustrations is kind of my bread and butter. and free use/gangbang stuff is like. perfect for it. everybody has to get a turn! and on top of that it lets me play in a space in a way prose doesn't. prose feels so much more official, more canon (which is how i think of the difference between my drawings and my books--books are canon, drawings are not). but with something like this it's easier to say it was just for fun. because it was! it was a lot of fun.

my favorite illustrations were the jackie-ralph licking ones (because i think i did a good job with the mouths and the folds and all) and the one with johnny with his hand over roger's face and hiding his own. jackie-ralph is probably my favorite of the dogs to draw because he's easiest but johnny is certainly my favorite of the Boys.

Objects of Affection, released in December

boy, this one huh! there is so much to say about this one. this one has like three separate catalysts that blasted together at the end of the summer and it just Happened all at once. there was a person requesting variations on "a mechanic taking advantage of an android they're repairing" for a few months on patreon that i kept meaning to do because it kept winning second place. there was another story i wrote that was too short to publish alone that i was like "okay what if i make a sci-fi anthology and one of the stories is robots..." and then i started rereading chobits for inspiration and it Pissed Me Off So Much how little it wants to engage with its own ideas.

and then the sci-fi anthology idea became only about the robots and i never published the original little short (which will come out next year as a freebie). and then my editor's computer Exploded for two months and he wasn't able to edit it ; ; the wait was Agony because this was one i really, Really did not want to release without proper feedback. something fucking Possessed me with this book and what it says about women and consent and masculinity and all the shit. like those are themes i've already touched in my other works, but in this one it was like turning the knob on a pressure cooker.

it's tough to think of what to say about it that i didn't say in the days after it was released. i've always been frustrated with robot stories that preoccupy themselves with the Theory of rights for artificial life and not the reality of rights for the people we already have. i'd watched astro boy 2003 and pluto shortly before starting (so i guess that's actually 4 things that came together) so Robot Rights!! stories were fresh in my mind and i'd found astro boy particularly frustrating with its insistence on pacifism from the oppressed robots as the government and populace kept abusing them. it is very hard to watch something that says "violence is never the answer! don't fight back, choose peace!" while your own country is aiding and abetting a genocide and obsessing over retribution for a single attack born of decades of settler violence as if they are in any way equivalent.

breathes out

so anyway that's why i chose to write about robots who undeniably do not have sapience, humanity, or rights. because we haven't come even close to solving the issue of rights for ourselves, particularly women (an admittedly easier topic to approach in an erotic work than the horrors of racially motivated war). and between chobits, which suggests a world obsessed with androids but doesn't deeply explore the social ramifications of a female-shaped servant class, and my research into real dolls, the closest thing we already have to fuckable brainless androids, there is a lot of material to draw inspiration from. how a person treats an unperson, particularly one shaped like a woman, will reflect upon how they treat a real person, a real woman.

to be less of a bummer and talk about the Stories, ratna's was the first i wrote, and went through the most revisions between drafts as i tried to figure out her whole deal. she was always going to be a stone butch dyke mechanic, so how would that sort of person feel in her line of work? would she be a stereotype of man-hating lesbian, and sympathetic to the android girls she has to send home with them? or would she be an unrepentant sleeze, just as bad as everyone she works for? i think i ended up somewhere in the middle. she doesn't like men, but doesn't think of herself as better for not being one. she thinks she's better because she isn't better, but at least acknowledges it. and figuring that out was important to figuring out the character. and also going in way harder on the beauty of the mechanism. that was mainly for You Guys, but it was crucial to her character working.

touma and shima's story came to me like a lightning bolt as i was leaving for a vacation. it was going to be, if you can believe it, Even More toxic yaoi. touma ws going to jerk shima off from behind as he fucked mari-ko, it was going to be way more explicit that he was mainly attracted to shima. but ultimately none of that served the actual purpose of the book, about treating people as objects and tools, so i dialed it back. but don't get it twisted touma is still insane and obsessed with shima and wants to touch his cock. but the story as it exists is a more realistic place for him to be at.

and samart and marinette's story was pretty much unchanged from first to final draft. the concept waffled a bit before i started writing, where my first idea had been that he makes her participate in taboo fantasies (calling him big brother, telling him no etc) and the narrative basically asking the question--is this wrong? is it better because she's not real, because he's doing it with her and not a real woman? does her 'no' matter if it's a 'no' she was ordered to say? is it worse because she can't meaningfully consent to the play either way? does any of it matter beyond the effect it has on him?

but as much as i'm interested in unpacking those concepts, i decided they would be too difficult for the audience and potentially open me up to scrutiny and abuse, because you can't even breathe the word "incest" without having your doors beaten down. the book as a whole is difficult, and i want it to be difficult, but i didn't want it to become about That. so instead i went with exploring the sort of loneliness and misanthropy of a person who lives the way he does, and i'm satisfied with it. i think it's the sharpest of the three stories.

wow i had nearly twice as much to say about that one than the rest. lol.

but that's it! that's everything i released! as i hinted throughout there were several other things i wrote this year that will see release next year. i have a free short, a $3 short, a novella awaiting editing, and at least two more artbooks to release. there'll be plenty for me to write about in next year's retrospective.

my writing goal for 2025 is to finish a novel. i did actually reach a finished draft with starbuster, the novel i've been pecking at for the past two years, but having done so and mapped out all the work it needs to be submission-ready, i've put it down semi-permanently. it simply needs too much and it's a bit too niche for traditional publishing, and it's in a genre (contemporary) i don't really want to write more of. so the best use of my time is on something else. it's a shame, but it's for the best! hopefully something will crack me upside the head with inspiration and it'll just Happen like all my best work seems to, lmao.

but if you've read all of this, or just read some of it, thank you!! thank you for supporting me for another year, or the first year if you just got here. if you haven't read everything i put out in 2024, it's on sale until jan 1st! go pick it up for cheap!!

#taylor titmouse #tt talks writing

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homelanderbutbig · 3 months ago

Note

You are a tremendously talented artist, writer and shitposter. I have alerts for you turned on so I can see your magnificence as soon as you post. You’re seriously one of my favourite blogs and an integral part of this side of The Boys’ fandom. I’m grateful that I get to exist at the same time as. Never forget that you bring immense joy to all those around you, that your presence is a blessing, that you matter so much to so many people. You are very loved by myself and others, we will always be here for you ❤️

- Fridge Anon

I'll keep this under the cut for people who don't wanna get blasted with a wall of text, lol. Using this as an excuse for a life update.

I'm a very private person, I don't like to talk about myself and my issues on here. I've mentioned a few times in the past about my unsolved medical problems. It started out in 2023 with eye blurriness, then slowly evolved to include headaches, neck and shoulder pain, and light sensitivity. It's 24/7, I wake up and go to bed feeling the same.

I've had countless scans, tests, needling, injections, and pain/migraine meds. Nobody knows what's wrong with me, nothing has helped to alleviate my symptoms, and it's just been getting worse month after month. Every time I try to get my hopes up with a new practitioner, telling me they can 100% help me no problem, it all just comes crashing back down because it doesn't work. It's almost been two years of this now, no diagnosis, no recovery plan. Neurology wait times are 1 1/2 to 2 years, if I'm lucky.

As the months have gone by it's been getting increasingly harder for me to keep up with the hobbies that make me happy, especially with this blog. Writing fics is a struggle because it's difficult to make out the words I'm typing, everything is an unfocused blur. Drawing is more challenging because of my shoulder pain correlating to my drawing arm. While my head and neck are more of a sharp, stabbing pain, my shoulder is different. It's essentially as if someone has their hand digging into the muscle and is clenching with all their might, never letting go. It's just a hard rock that gets aggravated if you even touch it. I'd been managing for the most part to draw regularly, but since about January I've noticed my hand and fingers go numb the longer I try to draw. It's becoming increasingly limiting.

Basically, as time has gone on I've been just completely exhausted. There are so many things I want to do that I just can't do anymore. This depression has just been building more and more each passing month, like my life is just pointless. I've been feeling like I'm letting everyone down by not producing the same level of work that I could before, that I was proud of. I feel little joy in what used to be fun.

But I don't wanna be too much of a downer. While I'm still really unsure about my future, I want to at least keep this blog going because it really does make me smile despite all my personal bullshit. I might not be able to draw/write as frequently as I have in the past year, so please forgive me in that regard. This is a long road that I'm stuck on and I don't know when it will ever end. All I can do is navigate it the best I can.

And for anyone who's sent me an ask over the last month, I apologize if you're thinking I've been ignoring you! I like to take my time answering people who are kind enough to send me thoughts, and I've just been a bit swamped with life so my inbox has been on the backburner. Please be rest assured, if you've sent me something I will eventually respond. ❤️

I wish to bestow a sad lil' gremlin Homelander onto you, Fridge Anon. Please hold him close to your heart, print him out, stick him on the fridge and give him a kiss every morning for good luck.

Thank you again, to anyone reading this. You all have been pretty much the sole light in my life, and I wish you all know I would be nothing without your kindness. I hope you can forgive me venting this much, lol. 🫂🫂🫂

#asks #my art #personal #<3

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s0lar-ch3ri · 2 years ago

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what if i wanted to make another insane promo post?

yeah, ik, its promo time again. BUT this time around i do wanna add in the post both my cousin and niece

one thing i did get wrong, heartz is my niece, starz is my cousin! this will basically be going over what each of these 2 do (...and im also adding in a bonus competitor/promoed person, well actually 2 because I GOT A CHANNEL YIPPEE)

each channel will be seperated up so yeah lets go!

first channel:

Starzzz.andgalaxy (my actual cousin, lol) is a great yter who absolutely deserves to be celebrating more then just 170 subs! since shes actually here with me, i can let her say a lil something on the matter:

"hello! I would love to reach 200 subscribers at least, I think my hard work should not be for nothing!" <- her typing

shes very very fun (and also with this i hope all the god damn hate comments shut lol) and does very cool things such as:

Roblox videos

(comment is from me lol, we'll get there soon) For right now these are just rating videos of her avatar, but I find them very fun (plus since I play roblox if needed I can help with filming lol)! Not much to say on it cause it's not a common kind of post, so onto the next form, which is:

2. Art

As you can see, she does very cool art, this one in particular is a tutorial on how to draw bodies. Is it the best? No, but the fact she's trying makes it great! (this is also where I've seen a couple hate comments come up, so yeah, I'm trying to be mature enough to not commit violence for her upon them) She does admit this video isn't her best work, but she does A LOT of very very cool drawings! Go check them out and her channel of course! There is one thing she also posts about which I love most of all...

3. Paper Dragons!!

(the first image is her first dragon, second is her most recent i think) I don't get how these things are "paper furries", but I do know THEY ARE SICK AS FUCK. I got to see one in person and they're very cool, all with different stories! I honestly wanna ask for one but right now, I'm gonna stick with watching them.

Channel link can be found here:

(this section was finished on january first of 2024, so at the point of this being posted she wont be over here, but i had her here so yeah :D i love my cousin)

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Second channel:

Heartzzz.❤️ is my niece, and she does similar content, but still does good content! A couple of videos of Starz and Heartz are them promoting each other, so yeah. While she is on vacation and can't be here to give her reasons to subscribe to you, I certainly can!

Memes

One thing I forgot to mention my cousin doing (well, actually my cousin's section is just kinda old because it's from when she last came over, but she's back to help me again, yay!) is making memes like this. Sometimes they do involve a paper dragon, but I think they're pretty funny and/or relatable (also dragons very cool)!

2. Edits (and Undertale related things)

I'm putting these 2 in the same category just because of the example image above. While my cousin has recently started doing edits, Heartz is the only 1 of the 2 to make anything Undertale related. While the Undertale stuff comes once every blue moon it seems, that doesn't make it any less enjoyable.

I actually found in her description a run down on what she does post, so here:

Link to her channel can be found right here:

(okay ik this section was really short, again, she posts similar things to my cousin, and i didnt wanna repeat, so yeah, if you want more reason, here's what the cousin herself says: "[Heartz] is really nice, she's a good artist, and she's creative"; time i finished this section was 1/15/2024 lol)

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third channel:

Boli and gang (or as their original user is + the profile picture says, Boli the bear) is the channel belonging to 2 kids I babysit! They're pretty new to making content, but they have a promising start already! Currently, their content consists of...

Animations

One of them has really been getting into animation, posting things like ball loops and such on their account. They're very interesting to watch personally!

2. Cool places

I'm not sure if this is going to be a common theme, but there is around 3-4 videos of places like this one. I have to admit, this has to be the prettiest of them all.

3. Art (+FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's Content)

This is another one grouped together, but because this is the first drawing related one I've seen. They're very big FNAF fans, of course leading to things like this. Is it the best? No, but they tried very hard of course, and maybe you could leave some tips for them to improve with!

(they also post memes and funny videos, but I'd rather not do repetition; FINISHED THIS ALSO ON THE 15TH LETS GOOOOOOO)

Link to their channel can be found here:

Oh, one final reason, their profile picture is super cool! Can you guess who made it? This actually provides me with the perfect transition into...

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fourth/final channel:

ITS ME!!! FINALLY I CAN STOP DOING PROPER ASS TYPING

yeah, i have a youtube now, and there's like nothing on it minus a couple videos. all of them are made back in like 2021-2022? cant really remember, but i posted them for younger me's sake. i have like a couple more to get through, but afterwards im probs gonna do a bigger variety of content! art videos, jrwi edits, animations, rambles, essays, you name it! (might even stream again on twitch if that seems what the people like lol)

you may want actual reasons to subscribe, but i currently dont have any. i can only make promises of better future content, but right now i can admit theyre shit. i dont post often, its only oc related rn, all very vague, nothing that interests most people on my blog (cause i know a lot of you are here for jrwi content, huh?). this channel, the choice to subscribe is fully up to you, im not gonna sell myself to it, im simply just saying its real.

Link to the channel is found here:

if you at all took the time to read through my part, i appreciate it, but please do actually check out the other 3. after all, you can always find me here, but you cant find the others anywhere else!

(FINISHED THE REST OF THE POST ON 1/15/24 LETS GOOOOOOOOO)

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rebellion-star · 6 months ago

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Translation of Yukimura Makoto's interview in Yatta! (part 1)

Disclaimer : My first language is French so there might be some inacurracies when translating from French/Japanese to English. I will try my best to stay as faithful as possible to what was being said. If you see any mistakes please let me know.

Click here for the full interview (in French, Yukimura Makoto's voice is dubbed by a French speaker). The interview was conducted on January 28th 2025.

I will only be translating the questions and the answers. I will provide a quick summary for the intro.

(00:00 - 2:22) Intro : The anchor introduces the guests and thanks Yukimura for coming today.

(2:23 - 2:45) Quick sumary of Vinland Saga

(2:46 - 3:02) Your drawings showcase stunning landscapes and beautifully crafted backgrounds. The fight scenes are incredibly detailed. Do you create them with animation in mind, envisioning how they would move on screen?

Merci beaucoup (laughs). Well, I always strive to draw as precisely as possible. However, when I started Vinland Saga, I wasn't thinking about a potential anime adaptation. I drew freely, depicting violence without constraints. So when I found out it would be adapted into an anime, I was very surprised.

(3:38 - 3:46) Richard Fleischer's movie The Vikings was a major inspiration for you. Were there any other works that marked a turning point in the creation of Vinland Saga ?

The movie Erik the Viking starring Tim Robbins left a stong impression on me. It tells the story of a viking who begins to question his way of life, as he constantly steals to fund his next expedition, only to get trapped in an endless cycle of violence. A young woman calls him out on his actions and he gradually comes to a realization. This film left a strong impression on me.

(4:29 - 4:44) I learnt in one of your interview that you hate violence. Yet, Vinland Saga is filled with violence - both psychological and physical. Many fans are drawn to your work because of this. Do you portray violence so extensively as a way to condem it?

Si (note : French word for yes). Absolutely. My main character - Thorfinn - comes to reject all forms of violence as he grows. In order to understand why he rejects violence, I needed to clearly illustrate the reasons behind it. That's why it was a challenging process for me. However, I aimed to depict violence as precisely and directly as possible.

(5:29 - 5:38) In that sense, would you say Thorfinn’s journey of redemption is a message from the older Makoto Yukimura to his younger self?

Yes, in a way, it might be a message to myself. Today I am 48 and it's true that this series has been a way to reflect on my accomplishments. At the beginning of my carrer, I was impulsive and self-absorbed - perhaps not always considerate of those around me. I may have acted rashly and hurt people along the way. Like Thorfinn, I hope I can find forgiveness.

(6:20 - 6:33) You are extremely active on social media. Why is it important for you ? If Thorfinn had Twitter/X, what would he post?

Social media allows me to receive direct feedback from my readers—something unimaginable at the start of my career. That’s why I try to respond as much as possible to those who reach out to me.

As for what Thorfinn would say on Twitter, it’s hard to picture. I imagine young Thorfinn would ignore everyone completely. But as he matures and settles in Vinland, he would probaby be saying, “Thank you” and “Thank you so much” to his followers.

(7:37 - 7:49) People often call you the "GOAT" and at first, you thought they were referring to the animal. Do compliments like these give you confidence in your writing and art?

Actually, the first time someone called me the "GOAT" and sent me a picture of a goat, I thought I was being harassed (laughs). But once I understood what it meant, it made me really happy. When you work on a series a long as mine, it's like reading the same sentence over and over. After so many years, it's hard to assess the quality of your own work. So when I receive compliments on social media, it feels like a comforting pat on the shoulder.

(8:48 - 8:59) In a past interview, you mentioned wanting to leave the past behind and focus on writing a story set in the future. Do you already have an idea for your next project?

Yes, I have a rough idea of what I want to write next. But to be honest, after spending over 20 years working on Vinland Saga, I’m completely exhausted. I’m not sure if I’ll dive into a new series right away. It will be a battle between my desire to start something new and my own laziness.

(9:19 - 9:30) One scene that left a lasting impression on all of us is when Thorfinn allows himself to be (badly) beaten. Is not fighting back the secret to finding peace ?

It's a very profound question that invites serious reflexion. I've been exploring the theme of violence for over 20 years, and one question I've often wrestled with is how to break the never-ending cycle of violence. It's extremely difficult to answer simply. When you look at the police for example, they are armed and sometimes respond to violence with more violence. It's hard to stop violence through passivity or a pacifist stance. At the same time, I do believe that violence begets violence. So, if we want to end the cycle, someone has to take it upon themselves and make the sacrifice of not striking back.

(10:42 - 10:54) When Thorfinn gave up on his revenge, your editor (tantousha) said it would end the series. How did you convince them to trust you ?

I didn’t have to work hard to convince my editor. In fact, it was the support of the readers that allowed me to continue this series. When I told my editor that my character would become a slave and stop fighting, they thought the series would be over. However, the sales didn’t drop, and people kept reading, which motivated me to continue. I was prepared for the series to be discontinued, but that didn’t happen. I want to thank all my readers for sticking with me.

(11:45 - 11:52) So did your editor tell you "you were right" or did you say nothing (ie not tell him "I was right") and be the bigger person/stayed humble ?

It's true that my editor did not express any remorse about their doubts (laughs). To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure that my readers would continue to support me the way they did. Once again, I’m incredibly grateful to my readers, as their support gives me confidence—not only in my work but also in my ability to write freely and let the story unfold as I want.

That's it for the first part of the interview! I hope you enjoyed reading it. I will try to translate the second part tomorrow.

edit : part 2 is available here.

#makoto yukimura #vinland saga #interview #translation

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badgalsasuke · 4 months ago

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Kishimoto Interview for Da Vinci Magazine (2015)

Thank you so much to @whitestonecreek for providing all the scans of not only this interview but the entire special Da Vinci Magazine did in celebration of Naruto's finale.

Interview and text by Daisuke Yoshida. Photo by Shukafu

The whole of the ninja world was born here. Masashi Kishimoto Long Interview.

Masashi Kishimoto's debut serialization, "NARUTO", became a historic hit, selling a total of 200 million copies worldwide, and his name is now known around the world as one of Japan's leading manga artists. If you wonder what kind of genius he is, his true self is surprisingly unpretentious and gentle. However, once you talk to him, you can see his thoughtfulness, kindness towards people, and sharp sensibility in every word he speaks. Where does his personality and the appeal of "NARUTO", which appeals to the hearts of people of all ages and genders, come from? We approached the one and only "Jump" author, who has drawn 700 chapters, about his half-life and his passion for manga, which has not diminished at all.

"NARUTO" is a manga that has been serialized in "Weekly Shonen Jump" for 15 years since 1999, and boasts a total of 200 million copies in circulation worldwide. Its creator, Masashi Kishimoto, was born in a small town in the northeastern part of Okayama Prefecture in January 1974. His family includes a serious and reliable civil servant father and what the son calls "super airhead" mother.

"This is a true story, but my mother once stepped on a banana peel that she found on the street, slipped and fell over. I think it was very hard for my father to keep up with my mother'spontainety. … By the way, my wife is the reliable one, she says "My husband is the natural airhead because he ate the same food and grew up in the same environment (laughs)."

He has one brother, a twin. "We were always together and I think we were really close. We went to the same school and had the same friends, so we usually had the same problems, and it felt like we could talk to each other about anything. We both liked drawing, and my brother became a manga artist too.

The relationship between Naruto and Sasuke depicted in "NARUTO" is that of best friends, rivals, and even brothers. That relationship is said to reflect the bond with a twin brother. So, I can easily tell what my younger brother is thinking right now. When I watch my younger brother talking with his friends, I can tell that he doesn't really think well of them, even though he says "yeah" and "okay." So, when my younger brother was feeling bad, I started to feel bad too. Gradually, as the years went by, I started to feel the same sadness when my truly close friends were feeling sad. The other person's pain feels like my own pain. I tried to bring those feelings that I had actually experienced into the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke."

Just before the final chapter, Sasuke describes his relationship with Naruto like this: "We can share each other's pain." He adds, "Perhaps this can be said not only about me, but about something much bigger."

"NARUTO" is a work that goes beyond the framework of boys' manga and confronts the issues of "war" and "violence" head-on. The only logic that can stop "war" is to build a relationship in which we can feel each other's pain as if it were our own.

"It's wrong to think that only your own feelings are correct. I think it's very important to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and consider their pain, no matter what the situation. Of course, I know it's difficult. You can't really understand unless you've been in the same situation as them and experienced the same things as them. But I think it's good to at least try to imagine."

As I continued talking about his childhood, a flood of memories opened up.

"Now that I think about it, when I was little I had an incredibly keen sense of smell. So much so that I could tell people apart just by their smell. But I was the only one who had no smell. I was really troubled as to why everyone else had a smell and I didn't. Also, when the kindergarten teacher explained the steps for a play, the other kids were able to remember them, but I couldn't remember them at all. I felt a bit out of place with the others, or like I was missing something, and I had a complex about that."

Apparently, it was because of this complex that he came to love "Doraemon."

"I used to draw a lot of Doraemon pictures for a while. Doraemon is a cat-shaped robot, but he doesn't have ears, right? Doraemon himself feels sad or ashamed about not having ears. I also felt a complex about not having a sense of smell. So, I empathized with characters who had these kinds of shortcomings. I'm not really interested in perfect people or those who are cool and can do everything. When I see the parts of them that are lacking, I feel a sense of affection and I cheer for them. That's why even after entering elementary school, most of my friends were people who had their own struggles (laughs)."

Around that time, I became fascinated with Dragon Ball, Kinnikuman, and Fist of the North Star through TV anime, and started to read the original manga. What magazine were these manga serialized in? Of course, Weekly Shonen Jump. During breaks at school (and a little during class too), he would play around by drawing illustrations of Jump characters in my notebook. The first original manga he drew in his notebook at that time was called Hiatari-kun. It was a ninja manga.

"When the enemy approaches, he immediately hides in the shadows. It was a bit of a comedy."

He gathered all the tools and completed his first manga with neatly divided frames when he was in his second year of high school. "I showed it to my brother and my father, but they said it wasn't interesting at all." Motivated by his frustration, he continued to draw manga.

"A person who usually just draws manga, for example, when they manage to score a goal during a school gym class, everyone gets incredibly excited. The gap between someone who seems like they can't do it and then actually does becomes entertainment. Looking back now, it seems that everything I learned in places that at first glance had nothing to do with manga has somehow found its way into my work."

Ninjas are those who endure. And the Japanese feeling behind it.

After graduating from high school, he went on to study at the Kyushu Sangyo University Faculty of Arts in Fukuoka City. He wanted to improve his drawing skills in order to succeed as a manga artist. In his fourth year, he submitted a short story called "Karakuri" which won an honorable mention in the 132nd February Ho☆Step Awards, marking his debut.

"There is an enemy named Lloyd, but I didn't want to make him just a bad guy. When an artificial cervical vertebra containing a special medicine is implanted, the disease is cured, but the side effects make the person violent. As a result, he becomes a monster who has lost his personality and goes on a rampage… I portrayed the enemy as an entity like that. Well, it was too difficult to express in many ways in three pages (wry smile)."

He was assigned to an editor, and although he would send in short stories to be read as one-offs, they were rejected one after another. His drawings were powerful. But his stories were weak! He found room for improvement and decided to start learning storytelling from scratch. After graduating from university, he returned to his parents' home in Okayama, and spent his days holed up in the local library. For about two years until the serialization of "NARUTO" began, he spent his time here poring over books on the subject of "What is a story?" and developing his own theory, which proved to be a valuable experience. Of the countless things he learned at the time, he secretly shared with us the secrets of storytelling for our magazine's readers.

"When people are presented with a mystery, they instinctively have a desire to know the answer. If they don't know the answer, they feel uneasy, or rather, frustrated. They become curious about the ending and turn the pages, which is what makes a story possible. Take 'NARUTO' for example. For example, in the first episode, the Fourth Hokage's face is shown, but his existence itself has only come up as rumors. Moreover, the Third Hokage is now playing the role. So I wanted to make readers wonder, who was the Fourth Hokage? I set up a plot twist with the hope that it would tickle the reader's desire to know."

I see!!! Looking back, it's true that "NARUTO" is packed with "tickles" that make you want to know the answer and read on. And one more thing. The secret to Kishimoto's storytelling technique is the presence of a "reward."

"The results are shown first. For example, if the main character works hard and puts in effort, and grows, we show a character that shows what the result will be. In 'NARUTO', it would be Kakashi sensei. If Naruto, a genin, works hard, he can become like Kakashi sensei, a jonin, and if he works even harder, he can become like the Hokage… That's the 'reward.' Like anything, without a reward, motivation fades away, right? (laughs)"

However, everything he's said so far is just techniques to make the reader comfortable as they read through the story. He asserts that the most important thing is, "What do you want to communicate through your story?" Kishimoto had also discovered this during his time in Okayama. In fact, there is a short story of the same name for "NARUTO" that was published two years before the serialization began. That story was about "magic." However, the serialized version of "NARUTO" is about ninjas. This change was significant.

"The main reason was that there weren't any ninja stories in Jump at the time, so I thought it might be easier to get through the serialization meeting (laughs). I didn't intend to make it a "normal ninja story", so I thought of a new definition of a ninja, or an image that was different from the ninjas that had been portrayed in various stories up until then. And so I came up with the image of a "person who endures". I think that what I wanted to portray throughout Naruto is patience. In order to connect with people on friendly terms, patience is necessary in many ways, and patience takes guts."

This image was derived from a gaze directed at "Japan" and "Japanese people."

"Okayama is next to Hiroshima, so I've been there to see the Atomic Bomb Dome several times. When I see it… I realized that the generation before us endured a lot, persevered, and somehow managed to maintain peace, which is why Japan exists today, and why we exist today. I wanted to portray those feelings in my own way, entrusting them to the ninja, who are people who endure."

The innovation in "NARUTO" lies in its depiction of "friends"

"Even though he's a ninja, he doesn't have that shadowy vibe; he's bright, has blonde hair, and wears flashy orange clothes. Everyone was like, 'That's not a ninja!' or 'Naruto? Isn't that a ramen topping?' But you know, at that point, I think they were already a bit intrigued. I think the character was already starting to take shape within them."

After a long run-up and preparation period, in the fall of 1999, at the end of his 24th year, Kishimoto started his first serialization, "NARUTO." Even if it continued, it would be about 20 volumes in total. "I never thought I would end up drawing 3.6 times that amount," he said with a wry smile.

"At the beginning, it was really physically tough. I thought to myself that if it was that tough, the editor should have told me from the beginning. I did tell him, but I didn't take him seriously (laughs). Even after my body got a little more used to it, as you all may know, Jump has a popularity poll among its readers, and if you're not popular, you're immediately fired. It always felt like the Grim Reaper had a huge scythe held around my neck. I was desperate to survive until the very end."

Nowadays, "NARUTO" is considered the king of Jump. It is well known that it has garnered tremendous support from readers as one of its two flagship works alongside "ONE PIECE." But at the time, it was so fresh, so groundbreaking. It was a work that opened up new possibilities for shonen manga and created a new royal road. One of these is the depiction of "comrades." In the world of "NARUTO," "classmates" at the ninja school are also "comrades." What was the idea behind this lively sense of teamwork?

"First, there's the protagonist, then an enemy appears, they fight, become comrades, and the enemy joins the team. I think that's the 'Jump' formula—writing 'strong enemy' and calling them 'comrade'. That's what I liked about the unique sense of camaraderie in 'Jump.' So, I thought, why not start from the point where the team is already growing? I personally couldn't wait. I wanted to draw that scene quickly. So, I made the classmates part of the team, thinking I had introduced a lot of allies from the start, but my first editor said to add even more. After the Chunin Exams, it became a character overload, and it was a huge hassle, especially for the art (laughs)."

The characters were exceptionally captivating, and the intricately woven plot twists keeping you on the edge of your seat, sparking curiosity about the world of the "Five Great Shinobi Nations". What's surprising is that only eight chapters of the story were planned when the serialization began. However, the last scene was decided from the start: the battle between Naruto and Sasuke. This part also contained the innovative expression of "friend".

"Someone who was originally a friend becomes an enemy along the way. I thought that the plot of having them fight at the end isn't something that happens often in shonen manga."

Working backwards from that development, the story first depicts the deepening of the bond between the two, then records the moment of their separation (volume 26). Finally, the two, who are separated by an insurmountable emotional distance, finally meet again and exchange blows.

"Because they've been apart for so long, when they finally return to each other, a special feeling should be born between them. That's something I wanted to depict from the very beginning."

The only question that remains is, will the two fight as friends or enemies in the final battle? He intended to think about the answer and reach a conclusion as the series continued.

"It's like a mirror" that reflects your own values

The method the author chose to achieve this was to carefully depict the lives of each of the characters who were separated. What was most revolutionary about "NARUTO" was that it focused on the drama of the "enemy" as much as the protagonist. The important thing is to think from the other person's perspective. Imagine their pain…

"In mysteries or suspense, the motive behind why the criminal committed the crime is revealed at the end, right? You keep watching the drama because you want to know the motive. In fact, that's the only thing I enjoy about it. It's not the mystery of the murder or the trick, but the mystery of the mind, which I think is the biggest mystery and what interests the audience the most. That was important when I was drawing 'NARUTO' as well. When I think about it, maybe even from my debut work I was the type of person who wanted to draw the enemy. Why do people behave badly, why do they behave in a way that causes pain to others? I want to depict that process. It's not that I empathize with those people, but because I don't understand it myself I want to know what's going on in their minds."

It seems that he had similar feelings towards Naruto, who was on the side of justice and goodness.

"I wanted to depict whether people can live solely on goodwill. Despite being told by Sasuke, 'You're not even a friend' and 'I'll cut you down,' Naruto continues to believe they are still friends. I think that's not something everyone can do. There were times when I felt like it would be okay to just write off Sasuke as a "runaway ninja. But Naruto wouldn't do that. His own feelings didn't waver."

Why is that? He thought hard about the reasons why Naruto rejected even the author's wishes.

"I thought that the bonds a child who had no family and no ties would finally acquire wouldn't be so easily severed. Since he didn't have a family, the people he could consider family wouldn't be something he could just cut off."

Eventually, the two meet again and exchange blows. Here, let's just write about the outcome. In the end, Naruto's "love" wins. During the serialization, readers voiced their opposition to Sasuke's malicious words and actions. There were even opinions that Naruto's strong goodwill was hypocrisy.

"I can understand those opinions. I think for the reader, this work is like a mirror. How you react to the choices made by the characters reveals your own personality and values. I want readers to cherish those reactions. Even if you feel repulsed, don't just dismiss it with, "I don't understand this," but read to the end. I personally believe I was able to create an ending that would satisfy anyone, whatever their opinion."

The only way to express myself is through manga.

The story of "NARUTO" came to an end in January 2014 when the final chapter (chapter 700) was published in issue 50 of "Weekly Shonen Jump." In fact, "NARUTO" is the first "Jump" manga to be completed after more than 50 volumes.

"There's a saying that if you look back, it seems long but it was short, but I don't feel that way at all. These past 15 years have been really long (laughs)."

In interviews with various media outlets immediately after completing the manuscript for the final chapter, he said, "I want to take my honeymoon, which I haven't had yet," "I want to play with my two children," and "I want to lose myself in games and movies," but…

"I haven't been able to do anything at all. I've just got a little more time to play with my kids. I've got anime and exhibitions coming up, so I'm still really busy."

Apparently, his two young children have yet to read the Naruto manga their father drew.

"My oldest child has read up to volume 3 of the manga and the final chapter in Jump. He didn't understand the meaning of the ending, so he asked, 'Why did Sasuke and Naruto end up like this?' I gave him a rough explanation at the time, saying that in the end, this is what Naruto is about. But I don't want to say too much because people who read this article might think, 'Oh, I see,' and not read the manga (laughs)."

This spring, a new spin-off of "NARUTO" will be serialized in a short, concentrated period. The children of characters who appeared in the main story, such as Naruto's son Boruto and Sasuke's daughter Sarada, will play an active role.

"I will draw a new manga next. I have various ideas in stock, so it's still undecided which one it will be, but there's no doubt it will be completely different characters from 'NARUTO.' I think it will definitely be characters that will surprise everyone, just like the next one."

He loved drawing since he was a child and wanted to become a manga artist in the future. He made his debut while he was in university but couldn't get on the right track, so after graduating he spent two years holed up in a local library training in story creation. Then, at the age of 24, he started serializing "NARUTO" and continued drawing without a break for 15 years. His life was immersed in manga. Drawing manga should be fun, but there were many times when he felt it was painful. But he wants to continue drawing manga in the future.

"I express what I'm thinking through manga, and the readers react to it, whether it's positive or negative. Doesn't that mean that people understand and know who I am as a person? There were difficult aspects, but the joy I felt was far greater. Manga was the only way I could get people to acknowledge my existence, and from now on manga will be the only way I can express myself. As long as I have the energy, I want to carry on drawing manga."

#kishimoto interview #naruto archive #At long last the Da Vinci Kishimoto interview #the special is like 34 pages so I guess I'll be translating bit by bit

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the-colourful-witch · 1 year ago

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A short goodbye, but not farewell! I'm not going to dance around it, so here it is: I'm taking a little break from socials this upcoming month. ( cue: gasppppp) I already mentioned last week that I'm getting a bit overwhelmed by all the content I see daily. I love all the art and the artist that share their work. I appreciate all of it and I really enjoy seeing everyone drawing things that make them happy. I enjoy drawing things myself, and I always will. I've had a few bad weeks creatively. It's not just a hobby, it's my job. I'm working on a big children's book, my first ever big publication. It is a tough project and it's taking up a lot of energy. I want it to look good and I want to deliver quality work for the author, who put her heart and soul into this book. However, it's getting more and more difficult to have faith in my own work when all day, every day, I see all these amazing, talented artists getting book deals, releasing products, making double figures from their art... And I know very well that everyone has their own process, that some of these people have been in the industry for years without getting anywhere, so trust the process. I can and will. I can trust my own process and I will get there eventually. Right now, though, it's hard to stay focused. I'm on my phone too much during the day and it has to stop. For my own health and for my work. So, long story short. I will be off my socials for 30 days, just to see what I can create without all the input from the internet. I'm going to work on the children's book (which is a fairytale book, by the way, so cool!) and on new character designs for my blog. I've started working on the teachers now, which is a lot of fun. Also, I'm working on opening a shop, so I'll put my energy towards that as well. I guess I have no idea what the next thirty days are going to bring me. I'm going to start tomorrow, so today (5 Feb) I will be checking my accounts still, just in case you have questions or concerns :) For now, this is it. I love you guys, and I'm so grateful for the support. Sharing my silly little drawings with you is very special <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ PS: I never shared my Meet the Artist 2024 on here! Granted, I did make it for my art Instagram (splashofcolour23) where I post most of my book illustrations and other fun stuff. BUT! I wanted to share it here, too. If you scroll all the way down my blog, like far, far down, you'll see the 2021 (I think) version, with which I started this blog. It's my favourite January tradition every year, so here it is! Anyway, time to go. See you in 30 days!

#illustrator #harrypotteruniverse #social media #characterdesign #artistlife #meet the artist #meet the artist 2024

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citrus-cactus · 8 months ago

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Citrus' Art Summary 2024!

I made my own template this year, based on filling in all the squares of a 5x7 grid. Not sure I recommend this method; it was difficult to both place pieces in roughly chronological order and make the layout varied & interesting, and I feel like the final result is too easily divisible into (uneven) quadrants, which I wanted to avoid. Ah well, maybe I'll think up a better system next year! :)

This is a bit of an odd year for an art summary, because while I created something every month and I'm legitimately proud of SO MANY of these, I kind of... stopped publishing my art to the Internet in the latter part of the year. There are various reasons for this. I'm not sure all of them are good, especially given the above statement about being proud of everything I made on the whole. But I'll talk about that beneath the cut, since that's where I usually ruminate about the year. There are also links to full pieces (where they exist) at the very end.

***

First, the positive! I branched out a lot this year (or at least... continued the trends that were starting to form in 2023). I did a lot of uh... darker/more serious art? Which I have enjoyed immensely, though I know it can be a bit of a tone whiplash compared to most of my finished art from past years. I love cute, happy things!! But I have these other dimensions that have long been in need of exercising. My favorite thing that I did is probably the first Bad End Takuma piece from January, which was for Survive Week. I just... really love how it came together. It surprised me every step of the way, and it was full of happy accidents (despite the subject matter! Lol). I still look at it and am like "wow! I made that!!" But I really like October's piece too. It's an illustration for a fanfic I'm (still) working on, and it gives me emotions. Justice for minor characters. Justice for minor characters for 1000 years!!! XD

Besides fanart, I made some other things! I published a secret fanfic (it's absolutely not hard to find if you're willing to do a little searching, but there's no way I'm going to link to it ever! Sorryyyyy! :3). I spent two weeks in Iceland, and somehow that inspired a fair bit of artistic endeavors XD September shows a small sample of a digital collage that includes several photos my spouse and I took (as well as some other stuff. The full piece partially communicates my somewhat-cynical thoughts about being a tourist in Iceland). November shows a drawing from an 8-page zine about hiking the Laugavegur Trail, which was an amazing experience! I also cross-stitched a Christmas ornament for a family member this month! None of these were intended for an Internet audience, but they were all fun and somewhat different to do!

So... yeah, the whole "not sharing art" thing. It started because I was... kind of frustrated with how few notes I felt I was getting compared to how hard I felt I had worked on some of these pieces? Which is... I mean, I know it's silly. More effort =/= more notes, especially since I'm focusing my creative efforts on such tiny little niches of the Digimon fandom (sadly, Appmon and Digimon Survive are just not that popular, especially compared to Adventure!), so any "engagement" on that art is going to be low, because the audience is just not that large to begin with. Plus, activity on Tumblr just seems to be tailing off in general. And I GET that numbers on posts shouldn't matter. I really, super-duper get that! But when something you worked really hard on and are excited to see people respond to only gets a handful of notes... well, it does kind of sting a bit, or makes me feel like I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up about it being received well. And then I end up waiting with baited breath for the usernames associate I with the fandom to react to it. If I don't see them in my notes, does it mean they hate it? Or did they just miss it? It's not something I have any control over, so why does it matter to me?

And it's NOT to say I don't appreciate the notes and comments I DO get. I appreciate them so much!! I just hate knowing that my worth as an artist has become tangled up in this notice-me-senpai attitude I seem to have created for myself. I hate caring about numbers (I know I should not care about them!), and I hate how much I seem to care about numbers. Posting used to bring joy, but now it brings... I don't know, anxiety and entitlement mixed with disappointment, I guess? So I decided to remove it from of my art process. I took a purposeful hiatus from The Numbers and caring about who sees my art to really just create for myself, for the first time in many years... and overall, I think it was a healthy way to hit "reset" on myself and my ego's ravenous desires.

But now... well, I don't exactly know to proceed.

There are things I do want to post, that I want other people to see! But the situation on Tumblr and on the Internet at large really isn't any different, and I'm not sure it's different in my brain, either. Can I continue to not care about The Numbers if I put them back in my life? I hope so, but I'm not certain. On top of that, I'm doing a lot of of art for a different fandom, and I'm still unpacking... well, let's call it what it is: a seemingly unending supply of middle school shame that I feel about Liking This Thing Too Much, which (apparently) never really went away. Yikes! This is a "me" problem, it has ALWAYS been a "me" problem. So that's a fun feeling to have (...not :/). Plus it's just... idk, different fandom, different people, different opinions flying around, I've been away from it for so long, do I really belong here?? But of course I do (even when I feel like I'm being so incredibly cringe... looking at you, August). I bring my own unique viewpoints to all the fandoms that I'm a part of (as does everyone!), and by sharing our ideas and stories and passions, we create our own community and extend the lives of the things we love. I do want to continue to be a part of that, but getting back on that horse is hard for me right now! I took a posting hiatus for health, but it also made me that much more shy. I have been thinking about my Return to Posting Art for months at this point, which again feels silly, because it's so easy to hit "post" on one of the many things I have saved up. I probably will go back to it... I'm just not exactly sure when. Maybe when I have something Digimon-related to share. Digimon is comfortable and safe. It's the only fandom I've felt like I really belong in. Sharing anything else feels... too personal somehow, and also too unknown. All of these have been thorny problems to grapple with, and I'm still working my way through them, carefully and slowly.

So yeah. Phew! If you made it through all that existential angst, you deserve a medal! But I can't give you one, so here are those links to the full pieces that I promised:

JANUARY: Bad End Takuma #1 ("Cooperation")

FEBRUARY: Survive Week Day 5 ("Villains")

MARCH: Dark Ages Gargirls

APRIL: HaruShinkai-Daily 4th Anniversary/100 Follower omake

MAY: Bad End Takuma #2 ("Darkness & Loss")

JUNE: Happy Birthday, Haru! (2024)

JULY: OC drawn on iPad

OCTOBER: “True” fanfic illustration

#digimon survive #appmon #appli monsters #gargoyles #wow only three fandoms!#the cactus speaks #art summary #art summary 2024 #year-end summary 2024

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zexalisliving · 5 months ago

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Hey guys. I wanted to tell you about some stuff while I'm here.

First of all, I've been gone for a couple of days. I've been a bit busy.

Im working on some crack idea I had back in January called Astral and the quest for snazz.

Its some crossover au where Astral and some other characters from zexal meet the characters from in my favorite game called My Singing Monsters. It may sound like a silly children's game, which it is, but I actually recommend it heavilly. And, I think I'd be able to post up some pictures if you guys are curious.

Next, I've got a new tablet since a little while ago, and its fixed now. I can use that instead of my computer to talk and do stuff on here, I just have to find a way to update chrome so I can use Tumblr.

Also, I wanted to tell you guys back around valentines day that the month of February is actually my anniversary of watching zexal. I guess that sounds weird but its true. I think I started watching it on the 16th. And, the month of june, which also happens to be the month of my birthday, is when I started watching DM. It all started back in 2023. Its kind of hard to believe I've only had this yugioh hyper fixation for almost two years!

So, besides that, I've also been working on some art and on my novel(?). And, I've been dying to tell you guys, I have been working on that flip book a started on last year. Remember that? Well, I've added a couple of seconds to it, which doesn't sound like a lot, but it takes me like 10 minutes per panel. Not sure if any of you have tried animating, especially by hand, but its actually really fun!

And @bitchywitchheart, I remember that you requested me to draw something with the Arclights. I'm working on it, don't worry. I'm just loaded up with things to do right now. Same for you, @kannakakimari and to @pileofrocksjh and @galaxygirl-katie27, who requested those stories for me to write. And @nova-arclight, remember back when we first became mutuals and you requested that I draw some of the barians kind of like a boy band? I'm also working on that, so I haven't forgotten about any of you guys.

Oh, and I'm also thinking of a crack Key shipping story about Yuma and Astral being wolves in a pack. Yep. You heard me right. I'm a fan of writing cringe and so I'm going to write it. Maybe.

Anyways, thats all, I think. I'm going to try and visit here at the very least once every week.

So for now, bye guys!

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decrtheincr · 8 months ago

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My Art Through 2024

January

Ooof the calendar idea really fizzled out when i lost steam at the end of 2023 due to rotations, developed multiple illnesses, and got lowkey harassed out of the KnY fandom. The January spread was one of my favorites tho. Might publish the others on here for closure.

February

These two ended up being the most popular of the year!! still v fond of the tavhalstarion. Then i needed to take a hiatus for a while for studies.

May

Broke hiatus in May because HalTav week was too tempting!! I'll color the full one someday and upload somewhere

November

I seriously thought that I'd be able to lift hiatus in September but I failed one of my board exams, started a new job that made me hella depressed, and developed another chronic illness. so that didnt happen. I sketched both of these way earlier in 2024 but could only finish them in November once i fully passed all exams. Series of Touch still feels incomplete but i like it as is.

December

this was one of the first I drew from scratch post-hiatus and it felt like relearning how to draw all over again. very satisfied with how March turned out!

This year was a very complicated and difficult year for me in all aspects. The hiatus was especially hard on me. I went to see Look Back in theaters without knowing anything about the story and was just floored by how much I wanted to draw again and how miserable I felt during my hiatus. But at the time i had just failed my exam and I didn't feel like i could allow myself to draw again just yet.

I had thumbnailed several comic ideas during the hiatus I'm really looking forward to starting finally!

I'm also facing a dilemma with Patreon, which i only started using as a platform that wasnt twt to share nsfw work. But now that Bluesky's become more accessible and Patreon removed the option for Per-Creation Billing (as well as implemented the IOS app store surcharge), I'm reconsidering returning to Patreon and thinking of moving everything on there to Bluesky.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far! I'm getting used to being present online again! Thanks to everyone who stuck around this long and a big welcome to all the recent newcomers!

#year in review #tama talk #tama art

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mania-sama · 4 months ago

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march fic recs!

this list is otherwise known as: mania_sama's fic recs: marvel/sambucky addition! because somehow, of the 76 fics i read this month, 74 of them were MCU. of those 74 MCU fics, 61 of them were tagged with sambucky (including platonic). i don't know what happened. hyperfixation really cannot be forced because i was absolutely blindsided by this. never cared for TFATWS. still don't, honestly, but somehow i'm here. please enjoy. i assume next month will be a little more... diverse... in the fandom and ship selection.

organization:

➼ fandom

✎ [Fic Name] by [Author] ❧ rating, word count (in progress tagged if work is not completed) ❧ relationship tags ❧ my description/notes ❧ Quotation

featured fandoms: marvel cinematic universe

more of my fic recommendations: january | february | april | may

➼ marvel cinematic universe

✎ When You Awake by Lunar_Pull ❧ explicit, 19.3k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ sam has complete amnesia after falling from the sky in a terrible accident during a mission, written entirely in second person. i have said it once and I'll say it again: i find second person really interesting when it's not written from the "y/n" perspective. i like being placed directly in the shoes of a given character. the choice to use second person in this fic is an incredibly powerful one; you really do only know as much as sam knows, aside from what we've gleaned through the tags. we can only put things together as sam puts them together, which leads to some pretty crazy conversations, but also a pretty crazy amount of emotions that swell and tide all at once. i particularly enjoyed the beginning of the fic (though i love all of it); there is a segment where sam starts to truly remember some things for the first time, and he does it through natasha. he remembers loving her. i think it's important for love of all kinds to be showcased, and that intense feeling of love and loss for a friend cuts so, so deep in my heart. it's so well written. and then there is the development of bucky and sam's relationship, of bucky knowing more than what sam knows, but of sam also only knowing what sam knows. bucky's intense desire to do what is best for sam but also to return to what they had before the accident is a very hard emotion to parse through. the whole fic has its ups and down in terms of it being an emotional rollercoaster, but it is SO good and so worth the pain and the suffering that may happen along the way. ❧ You bite your lip nervously, hard enough to cut through the skin. You don’t want to say ‘who’s Sam?’ Because that’s crazy, that’s just insane. You’re Sam. Obviously , you’re Sam.

✎ TFATWS/CA Fics by midnightdragons ❧ general audience/teen and up, 36.0k (in progress) ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ this is an ongoing series of disconnected one-shots by midnightdragons. you may thinking, why not just recommend one or two fics by them, instead of all of their sambucky fics? truth is, i CAN'T. i can't just stick to one. all of their sambucky fics are phenomenal and i've loved every single one of them. they are all relatively short, so you can certainly go through them all. they are just MMMMMMMM. most of them tackle sam and bucky's respective traumas in one form or another. typically it's bucky's, but that is to be expected: the draw of the winter soldier's endless pit of nauseating, suffocating trauma is literally impossible to resist. but they do an incredibly good job of it; each one is a breath of fresh air from the next; each one addressing another segment that was usually overlooked by the movies and/or TFATWS. if i had to pick a favorite one, i'd probably say Daybreak, because it takes something so simple yet so vital to the relation of trauma: the prosthetic. it has always, always meant fighting. he has only fought with it - only went from one fight to the next for years on end. he only received an arm from the wakandans to fight against thanos. and now? now what is he supposed to do? these kids aren't scared of the arm, they think it's cool. which is so unfathomable to bucky, who simply cannot associate it as such. i think that's a good approach to bucky's character. and then there's the rest of the dynamic, the relationship between the two. it always alternates between sincere and cheeky, like always. and like always, they find room to love each other in between (romantic or platonic, it's up to interpretation. i kind of like the nebulous dynamic). ❧ “If you really wanna act like I’m on my deathbed, you can just sit there and be quiet,” he said at last, voice dry and light. Bucky’s mouth twitched a little, which was a positive. “Your pacing is loud as hell. It’s almost like you’re worried about me, or something,” Sam teased him.

✎ down bad (bone deep) by glittercake ❧ explicit, 16.8k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ during a new-avengers fight with the red hulk, sam completely shatters more than a few bones in his body and has to spend a long time in complete rehabilitation, starting from bed-bound, to wheelchair, to eventual full recovery. if it wasn't obvious by the first fic i recommended in this month's list, i love caretaker! bucky. i think it's neat. and this fic does it WELL. because while the other fic was in sam's point of view, this one is in bucky's. it's a whole different slew of emotions that come along (as well as the fact the original nature of their relationship is different, but i digress). aside from all of the delicious physical caretaking (of which i take GREAT pleasure in. i love it when character A has to fully, manually take care of character B, including washing B, moving B, feeding B, etc), the gradual process of bucky and sam falling in love over the rehabilitation period is something that i'm not sure i can put into words. it happens all so naturally, like how i would imagine two real life people would fall in love with each other. these two do it like they are real. and that is a master of an art, to bring out the reality in the fiction. the banter is, also, once again, absolutely amazing. it really isn't sambucky if there isn't a healthy amount of banter that makes you laugh. ❧ The rustling paper bag has Sam opening his eyes again. A quick, surprised expression passes over his face like he didn’t expect Bucky to be there. He blinks. “Buck,” he says with the faintest smile before he closes his eyes. “I missed beers.”

✎ this whole song and dance by Lunar_Pull ❧ general audiences, 3.7k ❧ michelle jones/peter parker, james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ peter comes by the diner mj works at every day, because he still loves her, and it's so hard to be away from her, even though it hurts him to see her serve him every day without a hint of recognition of their past relationship. one day, when he's there as per usual, sam and bucky walk in, talking loudly and acting as if most of the population doesn't know who they are. they then both talk to peter; in rounds, of course, and unintentionally doing so when their other half has walked away. peter has a lot of conflicting emotions in this fic. mostly, it's about peter having lost his entire life and being unable to give up the girl of his dreams. but it's also about how bucky and sam both individually relate to peter's situation and give him advice on what to do going forward. even though neither of them show a hint of remembering him, their words strike a deep cord within peter. because it's not just about the question of whether or not the love is real or if the other person will reciprocate; it's about being the best person you can be for your partner, and about waiting until you are both ready to indulge in something good. this entire fic is a wonderfully beautiful way to relate the complex emotions around love and loss. ❧ Barnes takes a deep, long breath. He shifts in his chair to lean over into Peter’s space. He’s frowning, his entire face is deadly serious, and Peter only briefly wonders if he’s accidentally triggered the Soldier somehow before Barnes responds. His voice is full of conviction when he says, “Then you work your ass off to become the best man you can be. The kind of man she’s not better off without. And when you’ve done that, if you’re lucky enough that she’s not seeing anyone else, you ask her out.”

✎ No Ordinary Love by TheFlashFic ❧ teen and up, 11.6k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ bucky develops hanahaki disease for sam - a classic. if anyone is going to develop hanahaki, across the span of time, space, fandoms, the multiverse, every show and every book and every film every created, bucky would be the one to do it. the intense yearning and longing he has for anyone he sets his eyes on is UNMATCHED. it would also be just his like, in my opinion, that he would finally have something good in his life, only for it to then be untimely ripped away from him. there is a lot that goes on in this fic, and it sort of tackles all of that. he loves sam, that much is undoubted. it's him learning how to cope that his love will be what strangles him. the worst part about it is that sam struggles to leave him along, so when bucky runs off to die alone like an animal would, sam tags along. and it's all just. it's all just exactly what a hanahaki fic should look like, with the addition of everything that comes with the trauma of having once been the winter soldier. ❧ “Someone in the far east however many decades ago saw the Winter Soldier, this mindless Hydra assassin, and said ‘yeah, someday he’s gonna fall in love, and we can’t have that.’”

✎ Constellation of Touch by st4rlabsforever ❧ explicit, 13.4k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ platonic touching is very special to me. despite, the romance tag and the explicit warning, that's honestly what most of this is: learning how to lean into a touch instead of away from it. learning how to love the feeling of skin-on-skin contact, of a body encasing another, without the price or expectation looming over your head. there is a certain catharsis to seeking out touch when you feel it should be banished from you, which is why i particularly enjoyed it in the context of these two. one person, who feels that he will get hurt again if he chooses to express his desire for contact and true friendship. a second person, who fears his own reaction to touch, as though it may turn him into something uncontrollable, and who is actively learning how to go through the steps of expressing any emotion normally. outside of the angst and the parts where they learn that "falling" does not mean "dying", it's also really funny. this author writes dialogue and internal monologues so effortlessly. it's all very natural and all of the voices are extremely in character. a great fic for my platonic touch lovers (TRUST ME ON THIS. THEY DO GET NASTY AT THE END BUT IT IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY). ❧ He smirks, directing his eyes skyward. In a roundabout way, being forced to acknowledge just how touch-starved they are isn’t so bad either. Neither is learning to lean on your partner from time-to-time.

✎ The Tucson Job by to_be_a_dreamer ❧ general audiences, 11.5k (in progress) ❧ joaquín torres & sam wilson, isaiah bradley & sam wilson ❧ joaquín goes mysteriously missing during an undercover mission that he didn't tell anyone about, and sam and isaiah team up to find him. there isn't much along in this fic yet in terms of the plot, it really has only just begun. but it is already SO promising and so good. the idea the author has is to mix joaquin's comic backstory with his MCU persona, which makes for the whole "missing" plotline. if you don't know what his comic backstory is and want to read this fic, i would say go in blind. it will be ten times more mysterious and intriguing, since you definitively do not know what will happen to joaquin. the story is also a little bit more than just a search-and-rescue. there is a lot of torres family drama, and a whole lot to do with the world of illegal immigration and helping those who cannot be helped by the law or by people who work under the law. it's an emotional piece for sure; the whole fic is about what happens when the government continuously does the wrong thing. i highly recommend this because it fleshes out joaquin's character in a very important and very interesting way. i also live for sam going against the government, because when is captain america not going against the government? ❧ Sam still looked worried, but Joaquín didn’t need him to think everything was okay, he just needed Sam to let him go without asking too many questions, “Okay. Okay, but if you need anything you call me, alright? I mean it, Joaquín, anything at all and I’ll be there, no questions asked.”

✎ diving blind by yukla ❧ teen and up, 10.7k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ i am a firm believer in bucky acting like a traditional gentleman to sam in a relationship. not that they are in an official relationship until the end, but bucky's trying really hard and that's what counts. he was built to open doors and bring roses and pay for dinner, what more is there to say? buried in the fluff of sam and bucky's adventures as a half-couple is the angst. something that yukla is good at is balancing the tones of the story and making the fic deeper than it originally seems. treading just underneath sam willfully pretending that bucky isn't into him, is sam's trauma. he doesn't want to hurt again. he doesn't want to hurt anyone else again. he doesn't want to have something good, and then watch it plummet to the earth like a bird shot out of the sky. he's done that once already. i can also appreciate how bucky is written, with his capacity to wait, even if it comes at some level of pain. and then, the moment when it shatters like ice between them. that is something i love about yukla's works: that breaking point in the tension, where sam and bucky actually communicate. good soup. ❧ “There are more ways to be hurt,” says Sarah, “than just losing someone.”

✎ the crossed threshold by yukla ❧ teen and up, 3.4k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ THE AUTHOR THAT YUKLA IS. i wish i could read 500 sambucky fics by them because they just get sambucky like no other has, in my opinion. but alas, they only have three fics, of which i am grateful that they have written any for sambucky at all. the thing i love the most. THE MOST. about their fics is their understanding of sam's character. nobody gets sam like yukla does, okay? it really comes out in this fic. the highlight of the story is this: nobody cared about whether or not sam wanted the shield in TFATWS. nobody cared what it would be like for him to carry the stars and stripes. they do address it, yes, in a manner of 6 episodes and a whole lot of flag-smashing in between. it's about a whole lot of things, carrying that shield. it's about a whole lot of things for sam in particular to carry it. in this fic, he reaches out to bucky in person before the events of TFATWS. he tries to talk to bucky; it doesn't go well. bucky terrorizes sam some. sam breaks. and then they do talk, eventually. because they hit that shatter point when all that's left to do it fit back together the pieces of the porcelain plate. in my mind, yukla and i are writing buddies /j ❧ “Listen to yourself. Listen to yourself talking about this damn metal disc. First it’s about Steve, then it’s about you, and then it’s about John fucking Walker, it’s all about power and legacies and the damn United States of America. There's no room in this conversation for me at all, not for people like me. Nobody asked me what I wanted, even once. Steve didn’t. The government didn’t. John Walker didn’t.”

✎ No more waiting by Barely_Vibing ❧ teen and up, 4.2k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ in other words: bucky, who hails from the 1930s, is not exactly built for modern-day situationships. because what do you mean you're calling me friend when we both obviously want to suck each other's faces off? yeah, he's not dealing with that. so he sets off to stop these almost-dates by making them official. it's very cute and very in line with bucky, i think, because i don't think he could honestly handle a situationship on top of everything else has constantly has going on. bucky is the president of the "death to situationships" club. he's also cute and gentlemanly in this fic, which i believe in wholeheartedly (as we know). great little fic, very fluffy. ❧ Bucky stepped forward, handing Sam the flowers. He took them if not just put of pure confusion. "They're flowers. For you." Straight forward and to the point. No sense being subtle. "Back in my day, y'know, it was the gentlemanly thing to do for your date."

✎ Fluent in Mistakes, Relentless in Pursuit by Bolets_de_Montjuïc (elsur1953) ❧ teen and up, 2.2k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ sam is learning spanish, and while he's good, he's certainly not perfect. learning another language is hard. his mistakes are hilarious. overall a very cute fic where sam has some misadventures when speaking the language, but all of his friends and joaquin's family help him along the way. mostly, though (aside from the funny bits), i appreciate the reasonings behind sam learning the language. his goal is to help people, and he can't expect all of these people to be able to speak English, especially since he's located in the united states. it's important for him, as an icon and as a savior, to speak the language of victims. i think that's pretty neat and very in-character for him. ❧ “You let me say ‘I’m pregnant’ in front of the Torreses, and multiple times?”

✎ The Waiting Game by BlueSpark96 ❧ teen and up, 6.0k ❧ joaquín torres & sam wilson ❧ this fic is really interesting. essentially, joaquin and sam take up a mission in antarctica to investigate a glowing cave they suspect is filled with a precious metal. the mission is odd, though. joaquin receives an odd text message on the plane ride over about starting "the waiting game". he ignores it, but then he sees the message again on a computer. he chooses not to think about it. other odd things happen, too. he keeps hearing people in his ear, saying words that they apparently aren't saying at all. then, the mission goes sideways. i can't say anything more because it will spoil the whole thing, so Iill be careful about what i say in terms of praise. it's a VERY entertaining and very interesting fic. i like the breaks in reality, joaquin's confusion, and the overall visuals of the fic. i like stories where reality is not what it seems, that the characters are in far more danger than is being portrayed, and this is exactly that. ❧ “I know,” Joaquín murmured. “Did you know you go to Antarctica when you die?”

✎ Five Times Joaquín Torres Isn't an Undercover Flag Smasher and One Time [REDACTED] by silver_penny ❧ teen and up, 5.1k ❧ joaquín torres & sam wilson, james "bucky" barnes & joaquín torres, joaquín torres & karli morgenthau ❧ this was a hard read for me. it still kind of makes my stomach gurgle when i think about it, which is kind of crazy considering that nothing much actually happens in the fic. it essentially tackles what i really didn't like about TFATWS, which was the fact that it kept trying to get me to sympathize with a t^rrorist group. or, at the very least, it kept trying to get me to sympathize with karli. and i'm sorry, but i couldn't. i couldn't get behind the flag smashers in any capacity, and because karli was part of it (without ever reforming), i couldn't get behind her, either. so, where does this leave this fic? well, it's set over the course of TFAWTS, except joaquín is an actual member of the flag smashers, and not just an undercover spy. it's a lot. it's a lot for me emotionally because i really, really like joaquín. the fic is written masterfully, to the point where it's genuinely believable and applicable to canon - almost like that is what happened, if it wasn't certain that joaquín's characterization didn't allow room for radical idealogy. and for the first time, i sympathized with a flag smasher - until i didn't. because i still can't sympathize, still can't get behind it in any capacity after all this time. it really sucks. this fic is so masterfully written and gut-wrenching in all of the right ways, and any fic that can twist and scramble my mind and stomach in such a way is well worth the recommendation and read. ❧ He leans back against the wall and flips the little scrap of paper over and over in his fingers. He has a choice, here; the last five years have taught him that you always, always have a choice, even if it is hard and vanishingly small.

✎ love, zombies, and barry white by zevlore ❧ mature, 8.3k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ a series of two fics set in the zombie apocalypse (no powers au), technically set in their own canon but following the same universe/storyline. it's also written entirely in dialogue, with the idea that we are reading transcripts of the conversations that have recorded over the several months that they are traveling around the united states during this apocalypse. it is SO good and so entertaining. the best part of any story, in my opinion, is the dialogue (should it have any - some are formatted differently). in this case, it is ONLY dialogue. it's impressive to be able to capture a character only by the way they speak, and this author does it perfectly. even in an apocalyptic universe, they find a way to be domestic and love each other and be happy, no matter what's burning around them. they've been through so much and yet the reach for each other's hands in every clip. and then when they fight - they make up, because there is no time to be angry in the end of the world. the first fic has a happy ending; the second... not so much. both of them are spectacular though in their own ways, and if you want amputee bucky, you'll have to read the sad one. but it's worth it, in my opinion. both are amazing. ❧ We found a radio to fill the silence a little. Whoever’s out there just playing Barry White, Marvin Gaye, and Tavares on channel seven, know that my husband loves you.

✎ so stay away (or maybe, baby, maybe you should stay) by zevlore ❧ teen and up, 7.0k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ i'm always an absolute sucker for a mermaid au. set in the 1880s, sam is a fisherman in delacroix, and bucky is a bayou half-man half-fish creature of some sort. when sam is finally able to coax him out, they become something like friends. it's all very sweet, as sam and bucky slowly fall in love with each other. even with a massive communication barrier (which is revealed to be a curse that a warlock had put onto him to not be able to speak more than a couple syllables at a time, all broken and choppy), they find a way to talk and share their lives. it's just. it's so beautiful. they love each other so much. the author's writing is also very pleasant and enjoyable; i recommend reading more of their works if you like one. there's a lot to find in their library, and all of it is delicious. ❧ Bucky shakes his head, looking grim. “Break. No. Love me. Can’t. Love me. Ree-pull-seeve.”

✎ Part of it, Parted by it by outsidertalk ❧ general audiences, 6.8k ❧ james "bucky" barnes/sam wilson ❧ sam has died, shot fatally during a public speech by a man seeking revenge, and bucky grieves. that's it. that's the whole fic. it transitions between certain points where he's reminiscing on the things that he has lost. that the only way he can now measure love is by what he does not have. it's a lot. there is a lot of introspection on his inter-relationships, on his and sam's lives, on their love, and of the future that they'll never get to have. mostly, though, he thinks of all that sam has given, and all that has been taken from him by the people he swore to protect. i think it accurately tackles what it's like to lose a loved in a way you could have never predicted, never prevented, and having nowhere to go with that idle rage and desperation to turn back the clock. you can only sit there and think. it's miserable. this fic is absolutely heartwrenching. and the ending line? the ending line destroyed me. despite the relatively short length of the fic, it feels like it stretches on, and on, and on, that months have passed in this hazy state. but then you find out how long has actually passed. great work. ❧ Tragedy was useless. Self-defense only invited more accusations. The greatest pleasure in the world was listening to tragedies that did not befall oneself—especially if those tragedies were soaked in suffering and spectacle.

✎ Got You Now, Kid by Forge_Makes_Stuff ❧ general audiences, 6.3k ❧ james "bucky" barnes & peter parker, peter parker & sam wilson, james "bucky" barnes & sam wilson ❧ my guilty pleasure are fics where sambucky are the only ones to remember peter parker in some capacity. and i'm not talking that they retain all of their memories of him or that they had some specific epiphany where things are rushing back, but they have some small thing. a deep, unsettling feeling that something is wrong. there's a scratch in the record when they look at spider-man and hear his voice, that there is, quite simply, something missing in their brain. it's a guilty pleasure for the reason of it being that there is no reason they would remember him. bucky has a slightly stronger case than sam (being that he's familiar with the tampering memories in his brain, and the separation of bucky vs the winter soldier), but sam... not so much. but i don't care. them recognizing peter and filtering through these blips of wrong in their brain is EVERYTHING to me. and them putting past their humiliation in Germany to help out someone in need? i love it. i also love the idea that, since they don't fully recognize peter, bucky has to wonder if this missing memory is one of the winter soldier's, which then leads to the problem if this is a victim. it would dramatically change how they approaches the whole idea in a way that greatly pleases me. it indulges me greatly in my guilty pleasures for sambucky + peter and for that i am grateful. ❧ Sam’s used to looking for Bucky’s little tells, the things he does when he’s hurting and won’t tell anyone. Right now, there’s a slight tremor in his right hand, and something in his face that says he wants to bolt. “Kid, I need you to be honest,” Bucky says, just as quietly. “Did I—did the Winter Soldier—”

➼ honorable mention

✎ Gojo Shows You His Gojo: Gojo x Reader by 1s4angelonia ❧ teen and up, 2.8 ❧ gojo satoru/reader, loki/reader ❧ the reason that this is an honorable mention is because, while it is technically a marvel fic, i would say this is moreso for jujutsu kaisen than it is for mcu. also this is a crack fic. but it is a MASTERFUL one. of all of the crack fics i've read, this is one of the best. there is a true art (and i believe this with full sincerity) to the crack genre and this author has it down pat. everything from the tags to the actual contents of the story. the verbiage, the prose, the characters, the backstories. it's amazing. i could only wish to produce a crackfic as masterful as this one. i don't want to get into the plot because i believe any crack fic is best experienced completely blind. i laughed at almost every single line. absolutely amazing work is done here, really the vessel of god's intent. i love crack fics. everyone should be a crack fic enthusiast. ❧ It’s Loki, from the famous Disney plus series Loki! (or from Marvel Comics, before y'all get your panties in a twist).

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alternativeminiatures · 2 years ago

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Ok, let's talk about Lost In Space.

In the early 2000's there wasn't as much 40k fanfiction as today, you had Turn Signals on a Land Raider, and... I really can't remember. But I do remember Lost In Space!

This is probably one of my favorite 40k comics, even if it only has around 50 strips and never was completed. Sadly the website was nuked on january 2006, and nowadays, it's a bit hard to find all its published content. But hey, guess what? I'm a data hoarder, and found almost all the comic on my external hard drive, and the four strips I didn't have, I found them on a russian website, in russian, but @varanguard did me the favour of translating them back to english.

So, what now? I think I'm going to put it here with tags, so people can find it; lost media is something we should take more seriously, books, videogames, series, music, etc... all human creation should have a place.

What happened to the website? I asked a friend if he remembers and he told me back then James was throwing a fit about copyright, and closed many fan content websites, so yeah, it could be the answer.

And what about the author? Ok, this is a complex subject. Technically, the last we know about the author is a post on DeviantArt where they talks about getting a copy of all the strips and wanting to publish them there, they started on september 2006, and the last one is from october 2006, there are only 11 strips, I think I have near 80 between LiS, Meanwhile and Grail Quest.

Soooo... I still wanted to know if it was ok to put the comic here, and you see, I am a very good internet sleuth, very good, so good that from a complete stranger putting funny drawings on the internets 20 years ago, now I may know their complete name, where they live, where they work, I got 4 different emails and their work telephone number*. And at this point I realized I had jumped head first without parachute into creepy territory (I blame my autism, when you focus onto something it's hard to know when to stop).

And now, contacting the author with the information I got that they didn't put out there to be contacted, to talk about something they haven't talked about for almost 20 years, feels disturbing, like crossing 30km of red lines and boundaries, and way worse than putting the comic out there without their permission.

I think I'm going to follow the spirit of their last post and share the comic, but if somebody has any idea, comment or observation, please, let me know.

*be vigilant about your internet privacy and what you put out there!! I'm just a basic nerd and was able to get all that information with just google! All the people telling you to be careful are not paranoid, they know how easy is to find information about somebody!

#warhammer #warhammer 40k #warhammer 40000 #lost in space 40k #lost media #space marines #sisters of battle #imperial guard

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boolger · 7 months ago

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Hi, I love lapdog on a farm! It’s one of my all time favorites, it’s like the hybrid fic I’ve always wanted!! Apologies if this has been asked before, and of course no pressure intended, but I was wondering if you’d ever consider writing a prequel? From back when John had first gotten her as a rescue and she was all scared and skittish— before she grew into being his very spoiled princess, and he had to earn her trust. If you’d like to let the series lie at the conclusion of lapdog on a farm, I understand, but I think the network of relationships and history you’ve made between daisy and John is really interesting and I would love to see more if you feel inspired for it!

Regardless, thank you for all of your hard work! It’s such a pleasure to read your stories and it brightens my day every time there’s an update!

Aaaaaa thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺❤️ really means a lot!!

But yes, I’ve strongly considered this - as I’ve grown fond of the series, however, I have plans to make a fic following Valeria for a couple of chapters instead, as I already have a lot planned out for her. I want her to find a stray hybrid who has somehow managed to escape some abusive owners and Valeria just instantly decides that she is her mate and that she will care and love her - even if that means she will have to hide her from Alejandro and Rodolfo, heh.

Tho I have been thinking about a sequel, I don’t think it would be as long as a lapdog on a farm, as there are certain things I think would be best vague (also bc I’m sometimes quite shit at timelines ngl).

I think their first meeting and perhaps a couple of short shots of their everyday and how they grow close - perhaps, especially with a focus on their individual loneliness and how it’s viewed in a world and society where hybrids aren’t considered human enough to have the same rights. And Daisy’s change from fear and anger to being spoiled, as you mentioned.

Seeing Daisy meeting Nikolai for the first time would perhaps be fun too, even though she doesn’t really remember it that much later on.

I might end up doing small one shots or something instead of a longer fic, as I think that would work good with some pressure issues (don’t worry it’s not about u dear anon, it’s more in general with my anxiety and shit.) on not updating quickly enough.

I can yap about my plans for this year so far, as I’m quite excited hehehe❤️ even though you didn’t specifically ask about that🥴❤️

I would also like to finish a few other projects, like my barracks bunny fic, which I started last January haha. I almost have everything in that written, so it won’t take too long. I have another fic, with 141 as werewolves that I’m also quite far with.

At the same time, I would like to work with my favourite baby, which is a fanfic in another fandom, Macgyver (2016), which is a cult fic and is very dear to my heart.

In general my plan for this year is also to write a bunch of gay stuff. Both reader inserts but also just w characters from shows.

When all of this is said, I’m kinda uh, still getting used to the idea of being a writer ?? I know it might sound weird but I genuinely never thought I would spend a lot of time writing like this, I always considered myself much more of a drawing and painting girly.

But I’ve somehow found a way of expressing myself in writing, not only in English but to a growing degree also in my mother language, which actually has become well. Quite nice. I use it in therapy. Write a lot for myself.

Enough yapping on this ask, lmao.❤️

Apologies if my grammar is kinda shit in this reply, I’ve talked danish all morning and I’m in the train, tired to the bones lmao.❤️

#boolger #my writing #boolger asks #ask boolger

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ryuichirou · 7 months ago

Text

Replies

Long time no see! More short replies… as always, mostly about recent posts, but also about some other stuff here and there.

Sorry, this week ended up also being quite busy, so I don’t have anything more substantial to show in terms of replies. Soon…

Anonymous asked:

Hi! I enjoy seeing your works! :) I understand your boundaries in your home rules (here page hehe) but I feel worried if I ask for pay request or commission of switch otp or something I would feel guilty for cross boundaries. Orz but I just wanted to make sure I understand I can handle rejection of unwanted I can change differently idea! :) Take care! Excuse my grammar!

Hi, Anon!

Thank you so much for understanding, it means a lot. I know it could be very frustrating.

But you shouldn’t worry or feel guilty about it; if anything, it’s kind of on me and not your fault! So even if you suggest something that I won’t be able to do, I’ll do my best to refuse politely, and there is no need to worry about crossing my boundaries. Just asking or discussing it in that scenario doesn’t count as crossing boundaries; plus, sooome of the things I wouldn’t usually draw are negotiable.

Have a nice day! Don’t worry and feel free to message me whenever you want!

Anonymous asked:

You done a lot of art and comic lately. How your health. Remember, you need to be healthy to be horny. A sick man can't go hard.

Thank you for being concerned about me going hard, Anon… 🫡 Very touching and sweet of you… making sure that all the horny drawings are safe and cared for.

Don’t worry though; I say it all the time but I’ll reiterate: we are strategic about our posting and do it in a way that doesn’t overwhelm me (pre-sketching, preparing stuff beforehand, etc), and if I am tired and don’t feel like it, we don’t post anything at all that day. In fact, this is one of the reasons there aren’t as many reply posts lately, even though I really, really want to fix that. I guess seeing all these pics without replies between them does look unusual lol

But also, January is always a busy month for me in terms of comic stuff, so I’m used to it~

Anonymous asked:

I just realized

Youre Ryu and Katsu

I think dragons can among other things be called Ryu or Tatsu in japanese, was this on pourpose?

Cool either way

Hehe thank you, Anon! But no, it wasn’t really on purpose; Katsu’s name is based on the kanji for Victory (勝). In fact, when I used to draw our OCs who are also named Ryu and Katsu more often (I still draw OC!Katsu a lot hehehehe), I used to give them dragon/tiger(cat) motifs every now and then.

Anonymous asked:

I see you put Trein as bottom. He already have 2 daughter a cat and a dead wife. Also, he OLD.

Those aren’t valid reasons for him to not be a bottom, Anon, if anything, those upgrade him to the babygirl status.

I couldn’t properly rewatch The Hunchback of Notre Dame last year because I kept yelling about Frollo being a little bimbo, believe me, Trein being old isn’t a concern… I’d love to meet his daughters though, I bet they’re cute lol

Now, about the Malleus drawing from yesterday:

Anonymous asked:

Why only 3 buttons, i need more.

I know you do, Anon. And Malleus knows too. That was the idea, to keep everyone hungry~

Anonymous asked:

Google: breed reptile man how?

Everyone gangsta until he starts laying eggs

Anonymous asked:

I late for Malleus tits.

You can never be late for that! Join the queue…

Anonymous asked:

https://www.tumblr.com/ryuichirou/770764983442210816/this-years-birthday-boys-what-a-way-to-end-this

Now Lilia and Malleus can join the party. Malleus is invite right?

Oh come on, Lilia is automatically invited to any orgy at NRC! When it comes to Malleus though… no one would have the balls to do it, I think lol

You know, Anon, you made me wonder if Malleus would be offended about not being invited to an orgy… I kind of like to think that he would. Of course this isn’t an event that he should be participating in in the first place, but… I guess he would be offended either way!

About the comic about Rook’s jar:

Anonymous asked:

Make love with a jar…DO HE WANT TO TURN THAT GHOST INTO A SEX TOY?

FOR SCIENCE! He wants to turn that ghost into a sex toy for science!

Anonymous asked:

Well, that escalated quickly.

Anonymous asked:

Poor Ace and ghost. They traumatized.

Anonymous asked:

Epel is very chill, this is not the first time.

youtube

Ace was too stunned to speak

Yeah this is probably not the worst thing he’s experienced with Rook lol

Ace, however… stay strong, buddy.

Anonymous asked:

Me next Rook!! Me next!!

I… don’t think you want to be put in a jar, Anon…

Anonymous asked:

Rook pls never change

(poorghosts-)

Worry not, this man’s nature is never going to change! <3

About the comic about Idia gifting Azul a coin:

Anonymous asked:

Dare I ask what else the coin does?

Anonymous asked:

What else can that coin do?

Anonymous asked:

I don't understand? Can you explain the story?

The most important question…!! lol

It’s Idia we’re talking about, he loves adding as many potentially useful functions as possible, so this coin possibly can be used as a taser, an air freshener, a communicating device, a radio, a thermometer, and also a bunch of other things…

What were you thinking? ;3 Yeah I thought so.

Anonymous asked:

I know you normally draw Azul/Idia as a toxic ship but I still squeal when you do more wholesome stuff with them. That last little comic was so adorable <3

Hehehe thank youuu Anon!! <3 Ironically, I think I have the most wholesome drawings/comics with Azul/Idia out of all the ships lol

I really love them being toxic, but it’s also very fun when they’re being their dysfunctional unhinged selves, and yet somehow manage to, uh, match each other’s freak I guess…

Part of it is also because wholesome and cute art is always the easiest to find about literally any character and any ship, and when we want something specific, I’m usually the one to provide... that’s why so many of my drawings are cursed or horny or both lol

Anonymous asked:

I love how you color silver eyes

Thank you so much!! <3 I’m happy I had a chance to draw them properly… There usually isn’t enough of a close-up to show them, unfortunately, but I love Silver’s eyes a lot.

Anonymous asked:

Now I want to bite some shota

Anonymous asked:

Godness why, it should been me who bite silver.

People are jealous of Sebek… good…he really is one lucky biter…

Anonymous asked:

Okay ryuichirou explain why sebek have fang but silver is not bleeding yet.

It’s either that he’s not biting hard enough and just nibs very aggressively, or he has little puppy teeth that aren’t too sharp yet!

About the Deuce-in-a-collar comic

Anonymous asked:

Holy mother of god

I mean daddy of pup

Imagine calling Crewel that during class…

Anonymous asked:

YES !!!GODDDD !!!CREWDEUCE !!!

I love the little accidental (or not, knowing Crewel) Pavlovian response that wearing a collar gave Deuce, especially since he seems just so flustered by it. And who’s that little text bubble from? Ace? A roommate? I wonder what they have to think about Deuces new accessory… maybe they’d like to get in on it

Anonymous asked:

What the "…" mean, who is that ?Acey?

Hehe it absolutely was at lease semi-intentional! And it works wonderfully – now Deuce is such a good focused student when he wears it… that’s good teaching, that’s education.

Also yes, it is Ace! I initially had a little heart in that speech bubble to indicate that it’s him, but it just looked like someone was being in love, so I erased it lol

As for what he (and other roommates think)… I initially thought that Deuce would do it secretly, when he is alone or when everyone’s asleep, but there is absolutely no way he would keep something like that hidden for a long time. I think Ace would either start teasing/mocking him, or pretend he doesn’t notice at first. Deuce really reallyreally doesn’t want others to see him like this though~

Anonymous asked:

I need to see Glory Hole with Deuce butt on it so much

Same :( Same, Anon.

#replies #Youtube

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