#i think ray ...? had an octopus personal post tag and i would always smile when i saw it ... oddipus

[shopcat]

is there a reason you sometimes don't tag personal posts or am i reading into it too much sorry i love you bye

genuinely i just don't like clicking the extra buttons sometimes it's at least 4 extra clicks it's far too much. i love you too we will meet again in the kingdom of heaven one day Ok

[floxalopex]

Why, to me, Adora didn't solve her trauma. Or at least, it was supposed to be only about that. Spoiler: anti Catradora and anti Glimbow. Please, this are just my opinions. Don't wish my death. These ships are canon anyways so yhhhh you won, ok? Everything is fine 🌈

Yh, I'm doing this very depressing, very akward and inappropriate post at last. With of course, a lot of self-centered story nobody wants to hear because I need examples to explain emotions. Hi.

So. I don't hate Catra. I vibe with her a lot. But I can't stand when people erase Adora's trauma saying Catra's was worse. Everyone has the right to experience their own sorrow. Pain is a subjective feeling.

I was always the Catra while my sister was the Adora. I was the nd who needed to go to the psychotherapist causing my family to spend money, not to mention other healt problems. My sister doesn't even wear glasses. I took three attempts to get a stupid car license and still have panic attacks when I need to drive. My sister is a talented pilot. I was more good at school than her, but she was always better at living. And you can't change that with anything.

Still, I never hated her. Nor was I jelous. I awlays loved her and will always do. We are very different but we balance eachother. You may think that she got it easy. She didn't.

My parents are amazing. And I love them, they never raised a hand on me. But it was hard. It's hard to love a kid everyone depicts as "creepy", "not normal". But they did.

I watched the episode with Catra and Adora's childhood flashback with my sister. We had goosebumps. Before that I believed I was the only one suffering, while in reality I wasn't. It's not easy being the "golden child", "the normal one" either. My sister was so used to being referred as "the non weird one" that she developed a very closed personalty. She is a ray of sunshine, always smiling, but she won't tell anyone if she is feeling bad. She has to be perfect. She has to be all right all the time. I tell her to open up, at least with me, but it's not easy.

Trauma can have many faces. And honestely I blame myself I lot for having caused this to her. If only my parents weren't so focused on me and my so many problems that started since the day I was born (so far I risked to die at least 4 times) they wouldn't have had so much stress. They would have focused more on my sister. We talked about this and she says it's not my fault and honestely after so many years I want to believe her.

Adora has a post traumatic response. She has a martyr syndrome so strong she even feels that sacrifing herself is the normal course of actions. "You deserve love too" means that you also deserve to be heard. Your feelings matter.

Now. *Sighs*. I don't hate Catra, but I don't like Catradora at all.

Another sad story.

I never liked in my life the troupe of the "best friends" who grow up togheter and are supposed to be soulmates. I don't believe in destiny. There's no superior order in life.

I know there are many cute and real stories of couples who start and end togheter. Honestely some years ago I would have felt envious of them, now I fell like the freest of birds.

I had a childhood friend. He was born exately 20 days before me and, since our mothers were best friends, those were the only days in our first 10 years of life we were apart. We grow up togheter like brothers. Of course (of course, because eh you know, hormons, not destiny or whatever) we ended up having a relationship when little.

I didn't have so many friends and he made sure of that. He isolated me from everyone. He was possessive and mean. He was aggressive and now that he is old he is even a racist, sovranist, fascist, sexist and lots of other amazing qualities.

He was my first good diagnosis. Cushing syndrome. So yh, even if I'm super short he is shorter than me due to the therapy he has to endure. (By the gods, I generally don't mind physical appereance, I've even recentely found out I'm panromantic so yh, I don't care about gender either... but dam, can I have a partner taller than me? It's not even difficult.) Honestely, sickness apart...he is not so very good looking. Neither was I when little, I was very chubby. With the difference that I still saw beauty in him, but he never did. He mocked me with his friends. He said things like "If I don't love you who ever would? I've known you for so long, that's the reason why I tolerate you". I always stood by his side when people bullied him for his frail body structure or because he couldn't swim (which in Sicily it's almost a disability). He never did the same for me.

We broke up badly. I wasn't the one who left him but anyways. We don't even say hello to eachother.

I know by some relatives of his (who adored me) that is he depressed and lonely now.

It's... hard. Not to care for him. I know I shouldn't, I don't even want to. But the sentiment is there. I was never enough for him while he was everything for me. I don't love him, I would say I even hate him (and to make me hate someone you really must work very hard). But...hate is an emotion too right?...the point is that he will forever be a part of me. Even if I wish we never met in the first place.

Anyways.

I don't have positive opinions on Glimbow either. I love Glimmer but dam she is possessive. I like Bow but he should have been more true with his feelings and not end up with her only to please her. Choose Sea Hawk or Perfuma.

In a childhood relationship platonic love, habit, hormons, friendship meld togheter in a ...peculiar way. But let's be honest, we change with aging. We are not mature, we are not sensitive enough. Polite enough when little. We are not aware enough.

I'm monogamus yes, but at least sexually speaking. In reality you should have experiences. Know other people to know yourself better.

It, again, may be my bad and traumatic relationship speaking. But said relationship never gave me positive personal growth. It was rather toxic.

Adora, dear. Humanity is not lost. But you can't save everyone. Not by risking your own happiness. Caring for somebody deeply and having sexual attraction for them...isn't enough. And you too Catra. Let it go, there are people out there (cough cough Scorpia) who can and will give you the world if only you let them. Give others a chance. Maybe you are not in love with a person, but with the memory and the idea you had of them. People change, it's not theirs or your fault.

People leave and you don't own them.

Lastly yes, I will put the Entrapdak tag. Really not for visibility, I have more feet than followers (no, I'm not an octopus monster) and honestely I don't give a fuck. (Yhh mean Floxy). I'm just here to say emberassing things and be a stupid fucking nerd.

*inhales*.

Entrapdak=the love of my life. The relationship between two adults. Two people who didn't know eachother and passed puberty (...Hordak baby, you there?) a LONG time ago.

Two people who reason with their minds and not entirely with their hormons. I'm clapping while typing.

No drama, no doubts. I could talk for hours but honestely this no sense is already a pain in the gut of everyone who reads so far.

[thegreatescape]

SHARE THE LOVE CONVENTION

Here’s what happened at the Share The Love Con in Milan! :) [Sorry for my terrible English lol]

At the con I was in the front row with my friends. It was amazing but at the same time I felt a little bit observed lol Pietro was the first one who greeted me and then Nicholas recognized me ;; 

After the panel, my friend and I decided to take a picture with Federico because he was too beautiful with that blue sweater and when we went to take the picture he gave us a tight hug that I will remember forever. I don't know why but I was more nervous than the previous times... maybe because he was even more beautiful than usual lol 

Then we queued for the Fede + Rocco duo and I don’t know where I found the courage but I showed them a photo in which two people were kissing a girl on the cheek and this happened sdifhoisadpo 

Damn Fede has really soft lips, I cry just thinking about it. I left the room shaking like a leaf lol Then we went to the autographs of Nicholas, Greta and Beatrice. Greta and Bea were a wonderful surprise. They are both so kind and sweet. When Greta saw my drawing she gave me a hug and said ‘thank you’ a hundred of times. She was sooo cute! ;; 

Even Beatrice thanked me so much and complimented me and said “You drew me so hot!” And I was like "Well, you are" haha ​​

Then I went to Nicholas and this happened:

Nicholas: Hi! I'm a big fan of yours!

And I smiled at him sooo embarrassed.

Nicholas: I don't know how to thank you! I’m very tired after a drawing, you draw 10 drawings every day! You're very good.

Then Greta arrived at his table and said: Did you see my beautiful drawing with the pink background?

And he was like: Mine is gray! :(

Me: I made the backgrounds based on the shirt you had in the photos and you always have a black shirt.

Nicholas: I have to do a photoshoot then haha

Nicholas then asked me to show some of my drawings to Bea and when I showed her my Instagram profile she remembered those I had done for her and Greta added: Oh my God you made me the drawing of me and Nini kissing? It's beautiful! ; _;

This is Nicholas’ autograph. He drew me Luchino eating pizza’s crusts LOL

Then we went to the autographs of Pietro, Fede and Rocco and I have to say that this was one of the most beautiful moments of the Convention. When Pietro saw me he greeted me with an "Hello darling, how are you?" And before I answered he said: "Did you bring me something?" And when I gave him the drawing he said: “Oh my God, it's awesome! This is a new one!”

Me: “Well, yes, I couldn't post it before, it had to be a surprise!”

Pietro: “Can I keep it? ;)”

Me: “Sure it's for you! Also, sorry if I tag you on so many drawings.”

Pietro: “It makes me so happy! You drew the futuristic black and white one, the one where I’m in Venice, the one with the flag you gave me last time and ... this, right? (he remembered all of them ; ___;) And then he added: “But you drew Federico more :( AHAHAH”

Then I went to Fede and he said: “I know that yesterday was your birthday so… HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” And he sent me a kiss. I died. Then I gave him the drawing and he thanked me and he looked at me with a pleased smile saying: “What can I write here ..?” And he wrote me this beautiful autograph that I’ve to frame. 

Then, without saying anything, he got up and hugged me and it was a beautiful moment because I didn't want to let him go. Maybe that was the best hug- not only because it lasted longer but because I could tell him how grateful I was for everything.

Then I went to Rocco and he greeted me with a big smile saying: “Hello Giulia, how are you ?!” And I was actually dying inside so I immediately gave him the drawing and he said something like: “Wtf is this a drawing? Oh my God it’s amazing thank you so much” and he showed it to Fede.

Then in the afternoon there were other panels but for those I will make a special mentions at the end of the post.

Then there was Fede and Rocco meet & greet. It was pretty weird because we were all so shy and we didn’t know what to say so they told us something that happened on set during Marti and Nico reunion on the terrace in 2x09.

Fede: “Ludovico told us ‘Kiss!', so we did it. It was so romantic, but when we stopped, I noticed that I had Rocco's snot on my cheek. So I said: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT? THIS IS DISGUSTING! and the atmosphere was ruined.

Rocco: “It's true HAHAHA”

Fede: “I had your snot on me all the time! You were always crying!

Rocco: "Yes, there was an important exchange of body fluids. AHHA”

Then we went to eat the pizza with the cast. The first one who sat at our table was Federico. I was the first one to get the pizza and he said: “Well you're the birthday girl that’s why they gave you the pizza first”. I just smiled like an idiot and he said: “Eat it or it gets cold!"

Me: "No, I'm waiting for you …"

He: “But if it gets cold, it sucks”. (it sucked anyway haha)

Then me and my friends started arguing with him bc Federico claimed that the pizza has to be cut in 8 pieces (and we were cutting it in 4). Thankfully Pietro arrived and supported us and told Fede: “Stop being so annoying” ahah.

After that, there was the most embarrassing interaction that I've ever had with him. We looked at each other and he smiled, so I smiled back but I was too nervous to say anything. Basically we kept smiling for like 15 seconds and it all ended with an embarrassing silence :))))

Then Rocco sat right next to me and he was so… excited? Haha

Rocco: “Did you eat today?”

Me: “No, we were anxious…”

Rocco: “Why? C’mon we know each other now! We’re friends!” (I almost cried, I swear).

Then I showed him a bracelet that my friends bought me for my bday (a heart with the word ‘Sbedemmic’ written on it) and he enlightened and said: “Nooo! Oh my god! Sbedemmic !? A-ma-zing!”

Then we asked him how to pronounce “Maxence” and Rocco called him at out table and Maxence rushed to us leaning towards us and we were blown away because he has really beautiful eyes and honestly I didn't even listen to what he said ahaha

Then Nicholas joined us and said  "I want to sit right next to Giulia” (I wanted to hug him ;u;) and we talked about drawings and it was wonderful. Then at a certain point I don't remember what he wanted to ask Bea and he started to call her addressing a girl at the table next to ours and only after a while we pointed out that Bea was sitting on the other side of the room and he was like: “Who was I calling? The girl doesn't even have hair like Bea!” HAHAH

Before he left we hugged each other tight and we  thanked each other for everything.

Maxence is literally an elf. He is nice, funny and he gave me a lot of positivity. We asked him to take a photo all together and he immediately put the glass of wine down because “If my mom sees the picture she gets angry” xD He said he never had the chance to interact so much with the fans at the events and that he thinks it’s amazing to create a bond with us.

Then I apologized bc I tag him on a lot of drawings and he asked me “Wait, what did you draw?”

Before I answered him he started to jump on the chair saying “The raccoon one!?”

Me: “Yes, even the-”

He: “The one with the shirt! Come on, let me see it!”

So I showed him the drawing and he exclaimed: “YEEEEES! THIS ONE! YEEEEES! THE SHIRT!!!”

He thanked me and I closed instagram, but I had forgotten to change my background and I had a photograph of me with Federico.

Maxence saw it and said: “Is that your boyfriend?"

And I said: “I WISH!”

I swear I didn't want to say it out loud, but it was spontaneous. He widened his eyes and literally burst into laughing while I turned RED. I apologized saying it wasn’t my intention to say it out loud but he said that he got that bc he read the panic in my eyes as soon as I realized it, but he appreciated my spontaneity and he said that it will be our little secret xD (then we talked outside and we took a couple of photos, he even chose the poses AHAHAH but then we got caught and the staff told him to go inside xD).

1 December

The second day in the morning we went to the autographs of Robin and Lukas and they both thanked me so much for the drawings (I will never forget their expressions ;;). 

After giving Lukas the drawing he stood up and hugged me tight and he was the sweetest, with his beautiful and kind smile :’)

Then I took a photo with Nicholas 

and a duo with Maxence and Rocco where I asked for a group hug and Maxence said: A POLIPATA ?! (an Italian word that idk how to translate. Obviously Rocco taught him that haha it’s like “hugging like an octopus” lol)

The last photos were those with Federico. When I showed him the photo I wanted to do he made an expression that I will never forget a mix between a smile and ;) and he said: “Uh, today we are in the mood for kisses”. And of course I turned BRIGHT RED :DDD

The last activity of the day was the autograph with Maxence. He thanked me for the drawing and said "You made me a beautiful drawing, so I will also make your own beautiful drawing" and he made a stylized character of me ahaha

At the cocktail party Maxence was the first one to sit with us! He didn’t know what to say so he asked us to do a toast and we all said in chorus 'cin-cin' and he said: "Do you know that ‘cin-cin’ means vagina in Chinese?” Ahah This was the highlight of our conversation.

Then Nicholas and Rocco came at our table and we talked all the time about medicines and reflux lmao We looked like the geriatric department bc they said that all the cocktails tasted like medicines lol 

Then Pietro and Fede arrived, both sooo tired, but Fede greeted us with "Hello rays of sunshine!" And we were literally dying . Pietro said he was worried about not being able to return home because he would have arrived after midnight and he didn't have the keys. "I can't call someone and say "Hi, I'm the guy who lives upstairs" ahaha

Then we talked to Lukas and Robin and they were so cute ;; Lukas is a very interesting person, he has a pure soul and it was a pleasure to know him ;; 

In the end, Bea and Greta arrived and we gossiped a lot, especially about boys haha

Best moments of PANELs:

-Nicholas said his favorite word is Australopithecus Robustus and Greta said "Fregno" (it’s a slang for ‘hot’) xD

-Fede said his Spirit animal is a Golden Retriever and that Martino’s is a fox

-Fede made fun of Rocco because he spoke with metaphors that didn’t make any sense so Fede was like: Enough Rocco, enough! Stop it! THAT'S ENOUGH!

-We made a video for Bea and everyone cried in the room

-THE KARAOKE

-Fede said that Rocco didn’t know how to ride a bicycle and they had to shoot that scene a lot of times

-Fede complimented Rocco and then he gave the microphone to him saying: “Come on, I’m waiting.” Because he wanted to get compliments too haha

-Rocco sat in the audience and asked Fede the story of Bambi and Fede called him “Er Lucertola (lizard)” in revenge and said that the name of Bambi was born because of a toxic (Rocco haha)

-Pietro who answered BOH to all the questions haha

-When a girl mentioned the 4th season (even if we couldn’t) and everyone said to keep hoping and thanked us for fighting so much during these months and then Rocco said: Yes, thank you very much for the support. Without you it wouldn't have been pos— Everyone: ROCCO !!!!! haha

-When another girl talked about Massimo Reale -Dr. Spera- (referring to the photos he posted from the 4th season’s set) and then Bea said: She just wanted to know the name of Dr. Spera and yes, it’s Massimo Reale xD

-Rocco screaming SBEDEM

Here’s some pics I took at the panels :) 

Everything was AWESOME! I miss them all so much ;;

Please if you want to use one of these pics tag my instagram account:  here