#i will read/write the same one again and again

[yan-randomfandom]

I've been reading the fanart. You have a natural talent for creating a more distinctive personality for the Saja Boys from the bits and pieces they gave us in the movie!

Ever since that fanart where the Saja sneaked into the reader's room, I couldn't stop imagining what they would be like sleeping alone with her, as if every day of the week except the weekends they will take turns sleeping with the reader or something like that.

And again, I love your writing. I hope you like the idea. Have a nice day!!!

Saja Boys x GN!Reader

a/n; anon thank you so much heheh!!! this one isn't too accurate to your idea, but i love it and i hope it's still okay!

summary; physical touch with the boys and why they wanna go to your bedroom :))) (touch starved. written separately but they all live in the same housing)

warnings; stalking (watching you sleep), body curious, touching w no permission, nothing sexual tho!

— 🍃 [Monday]

Here's the thing, guys. The boys don't actually need sleep. They're demons. Sleep isn't something their bodies need—instead it's something they want. They are still aware and can feel through touch, which is exactly why they'd prefer to sleep with you.

You're warm, so alive, and they don't know it yet.

Surprisingly enough, Jinu is the first one to knock on your door.

"Jinu?" you drawl, voice laced with sleep. He stands awkwardly by the doorway, patiently waiting for you to process what's happening. Glancing idly at your sleepwear and dimlit room.

You yawn, widening the door. "What's up? Need something?" You pause, raising a lazy accusing finger. "Wait. You're not here to suck my blood, are you—?!"

"What? No!" Jinu gasps, almost offended. You sigh out of relief anyway.

"...We're not interested in physical bodies. Anyway, uh, sorry for waking you up. I just need to see how our socials are going," he explains as he steps into your room. "You can power your computer and go back to sleep."

As soon as you heard the word 'social', you were already turning it on. "'kay, buddy. You sure you don't need help, though? I know I taught you a bit but I understand it can get confusing—"

"No, no," Jinu huffs, denial flooding his form. "I can do it."

"You remember how to turn it off?"

"Yes. Don't worry."

Then you fall asleep next to him, your body slightly pressing against his. His eyes slowly drift away from the glow of the computer screen to your sleeping form. He stares for a moment.

Soft, warm. It reminds him of the past on how he couldn't sleep with his own fam—

Jinu pulls the computer plug off and teleports away.

—💐 [Tuesday]

Baby made you piggyback him. A lot. It was sort of your fault.

You saw the Saja Boys taking turns carrying him—it was a pretty funny ordeal. Then you jokingly offered to piggyback him to see what the hype was about.

He accepted it all too eagerly. As soon as his full weight falls on you, you're genuinely surprised at how light he is. It's probably equivalent to a box full of volleyballs.

"You're lighter than I thought," you say, adjusting your arms behind his legs.

Baby suddenly lets his head rest on yours. "Why are you so..." Warm. He buries himself into your shoulder, his arms tightening around you.

"Why am I so what?" you ask, turning your head, only achieving to tickle him more.

He doesn't let you go for the rest of the day.

And by extension, night.

You tried to complain at first. "Didn't we agree to—"

"Just this once, please?"

You folded.

He snuggles all comfortable within your arms, acting as the little spoon, greedily content in your warmth and breathing.

But then you wake up with his mouth on your skin. He wasn't biting, sucking, or anything. It was just.... there.

Still, though, you assumed the worst.

"I thought you said demons don't suck blood, Jinu!?!"

"We don't!!?!"

—🪷 [Wednesday]

Abby wanted you to touch his abs for some mysterious reason. Yapping about how "no one else will have this chance," or "you might not live long enough to feel it!" and "I actually haven't let anyone touch my artificial abs yet" — it was really weird, but you shrugged it off and agreed anyway.

Like hell yeah. Sure, why not?

So he unbuttons his shirt, all giddy, and watches as you reach for his skin.

You make contact with his abs. Caressing it gently, it feels normal in texture — but you suppose it's a little too cold. The fact didn't totally sound weird at the time.

Looking up, you flinch at Abby's expression. You thought he'd be smiling, like he was the whole time, but he looks so serious that it's actually concerning. He's not looking at you; his eyes were down and fixated on your hand.

You notice, pulling your hand away from him, and snapping your fingers. "You okay?"

He blinks. "Uh."

Later that night, Abby welcomes himself into your room.

He stares at you from the corner. From the center. From the edge of your bedframe. On your bed.

Sometimes, he'd gently let his hands roam over your exposed skin. Mostly your warm hands. And your warm face.

You wake up to find his face in front of you.

Screaming, you unintentionally kick him in the abs.

"Ow, my perfectly crafted abs!"

— 🪻 [Thursday]

Mystery almost lost it when you pat his head.

You did it voluntarily. It's a nice, comforting feeling as you pat his shoulder, his arm, and his cheek. He utterly melts under your casual touches without a single word.

He loves it. You leave him demanding for more. So, Mystery decides to linger around you like a guard dog. Who hopes to be spoiled, who wishes to be held.

But, then, night comes.

"You're not exactly allowed in my room," you say, only to pause when he straight up whimpers.

... You folded. With a sigh, you step away from the door and give him space to walk in.

He happily skips into your room, flopping face-first on your bed. You stare at him for a moment, thinking about how despite them not being human — they really love to rest.

You lie down, feeling Mystery move around under your blanket, closing your eyes when he finds himself comfortable against your chest.

Your chest rising and falling with every breath—Mystery simply can't help but feel envious.

— 🌺 [Friday]

Romance is confused.

There's a buzz between his band members — apparently, they visited your bedroom? Didn't they agree to avoid that specific place in this house?

He doesn't realize he's been staring blankly at nowhere. Reality hits him hard when something gentle touches his hair.

"Might wanna style your hair again, Rome," you chuckle, brushing his hair with your fingers. He shivers when your skin grazes his forehead. "You got the bed head. Though I guess you just snap your fingers and it'd be all okay."

You leave right after that, but Romance keeps staring at the last place he saw your figure, his fingers fidgeting with the hair you just touched.

Okay. He gets it now.

Next day, you woke up with him hovering over your head.

You suddenly grab his shoulders, push him back against your bed, breathing heavy from the shock. The bed sinks under both your weight.

Romance stares immensely up at you.

"You guys," you breath, "will be the death of me."

He smirks. "I can only imagine."

— krazy

[pitlanepeach]

Radio Silence | Epilogue

Lando Norris x Amelia Brown (OFC)

Series Masterlist

Summary — Order is everything. Her habits aren’t quirks, they’re survival techniques. And only three people in the world have permission to touch her: Mom, Dad, Fernando.

Then Lando Norris happens.

One moment. One line crossed. No going back.

Warnings — Autistic!OFC, time jumps, slice of life.

Notes — There are no words, really. I hope you cherish all of the tiny, specific details I added here. I spent a lot of time on it. Yes, I will possibly write some additional snapshots/oneshots of their future.

2025

Autism, Womanhood, and the Mechanics of Belonging by Amelia Norris

Autism presents itself in females in many ways.

Sometimes invisibly. Often misdiagnosed. Frequently misunderstood.

In me, it’s always looked like this: a difficulty with eye contact. An inability to read the curve of someone’s mouth or the sharp edges hidden beneath their tone. I learned early how to catalogue expressions the way other girls my age collected dolls — not for fun, but for function. A survival skill. A flash of teeth? Friendly. Or hostile. Or forced. Raised eyebrows? Surprise. Maybe judgment. Maybe not.

Memorising made things manageable. Predictable. Less scary.

Sarcasm took longer. I still miss it, sometimes. I can design a suspension system from scratch, but I’ll still turn to my husband after a conversation and ask, “Was that a joke?”

It used to bother me. It doesn’t anymore.

Touch has always been strange, too. I don’t like uninvited contact. Hugs feel like puzzles with warped edges — familiar in theory, but always a little off. It’s not dislike. It’s friction between my nervous system and the world. I used to think that meant something was wrong with me.

I was wrong.

I’m not broken. I’m just calibrated differently.

And then there’s the focus.

When I was a child, it was Formula 1. Not the drivers, not the glamour — the systems. The telemetry. The pit stop choreography. The physics. The math hidden inside motion. While other kids learned to swim, I was memorising tyre degradation patterns. While girls my age planned birthday parties, I was building aerodynamic models from cereal boxes.

I didn’t understand how to be part of the world I’d been born into.

But I always understood how cars moved through it.

That obsession became a career — eventually. But not right away.

My father, Zak Brown, became the CEO of McLaren Racing. I thought that would be an advantage. I was wrong again. He loved me, but he didn’t know how to take me seriously. I brought ideas. He catalogued them without thought. I handed him data. He passed it off to other people without remembering I’d written it.

He didn’t mean to hurt me — but he did. In a hundred careless ways. 

Enough to make me leave.

I was already seeing Lando, quietly. It was early. Tentative. I was cautious because I didn’t always understand people. He was cautious because he was getting advice, loud, well-meaning advice, not to date the boss’s daughter.

He disappeared on me for a while. And I didn’t understand why.

I remember thinking: I must have done something wrong and not realised it.

But I hadn’t.

Eventually, he came back. Explained. Apologised. We learned each other slowly, and not always easily — but deeply.

Around the same time, I left McLaren. I took a job at Red Bull. Not for revenge. For recognition.

Max Verstappen didn’t care who my father was. He cared that I understood race pace like a second language. We won two championships together.

And in the meantime — Lando and I kept finding our way back to each other. Every time, more solid than before.

Eventually, I came back to papaya. But on my terms. Not as Zak’s daughter. As a lead engineer. With Oscar by my side and Lando in a car I had helped design, shaped precisely to fit his hands, his shoulders, his driving style.

Then I had my daughter. Ada.

And the hyper-focus I’ve carried my whole life shifted again — narrowed, but deepened.

It’s still data. Still equations and airflow and lap deltas. But it’s also Lando, who stopped having to ask to touch me years ago. Who doesn’t need explanations but still listens when I give them.

It’s Ada — glorious, curious, sticky. Who throws glitter onto my schematics and insists I help her fix the broken boosters on her cardboard spaceship with grunts and wife, pleading eyes.

It’s both of them.

And the quiet, terrifying vastness of being truly understood.

My autism didn’t vanish when I became a wife. It didn’t soften when I became a mother. I am still who I have always been: meticulous, sensitive, blunt. I still script my voicemails. I still shut down when I’m overstimulated. I still have meltdowns. I still need more sleep than most people and can’t fucntion in rooms with flickering lights.

But I’ve grown. I’ve adapted. I’ve made peace not just with structure, but with chaos. With change. With soft interruptions. With a life I never thought I’d be able to build.

I’ve created a life where I don’t have to perform.

I just get to be.

And for the first time, I’m letting people see me. All of me.

Which is why I’m writing this.

Because I know I’m not the only one.

Because somewhere, there’s a teenage girl memorising lap times and scared she doesn’t belong in a world that moves too loud, too fast, too unclearly.

Because I wish I’d known sooner that I wasn’t alone.

Today, I’m proud to announce the launch of NeuroDrive — a foundation dedicated to mentoring, supporting, and funding autistic young women pursuing careers in motorsport.

We’ll be offering scholarships. Internships. Mentorship. Resources. Community.

From engineering to analytics to logistics to aero to comms — every role that makes this sport move.

I want these girls to know that their focus is a gift.

Their precision is power.

Their minds are brilliant.

I want them to know they don’t need to hide.

There’s room for them here. There’s room for all of us.

And they belong — fully, loudly, exactly as they are — in motorsport.

With hope, Amelia Norris

—

Amelia sat back from her laptop screen.

She hadn’t meant to write it all in one frantic breath. It had just… unfurled. A loose thread tugged gently free at the edge of the day, unraveling steadily until it wove itself into something whole.

She stared at the last line. Her hands hovered over the keyboard, then lowered to her lap. She exhaled.

Behind her, the wooden floor creaked softly.

A moment later, familiar arms wrapped gently around her waist — warm, unhurried. Lando pressed a kiss just behind her ear, right in that small, quiet space that always made her flinch less than anywhere else.

“She’s asleep,” Lando murmured, voice low and amused. “Finally. Made me sing the rocket song. Twice. And do the hand movements.”

Amelia huffed a small, warm laugh but didn’t turn. “You hate the hand movements.”

“I hate them passionately,” he said, bending slightly to press a kiss to the space just behind her ear. “But she likes them. And I happen to love her enough to tolerate them.”

She could feel him smiling against her skin.

The sea air had slipped in through the open balcony doors behind them, warm and salt-tinged, carrying the gentle hum of nighttime Monaco. 

Lando’s arms slid comfortably around her waist. He rested his chin on her shoulder and peered at the screen. “Let me read it?” He asked after a pause.

“You already know all of it,” she said softly.

“Yeah,” he replied, nudging her temple with his nose. “But I like hearing it in your words.”

She didn’t answer, not with words anyway. She just leaned into him, letting her body relax in increments. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard for a moment longer before dropping quietly to her lap. Her pulse, which had been buzzing all evening, finally slowed. The cursor blinked in the corner of the screen — steady, patient, waiting.

She would post the piece eventually. Maybe not tonight. But soon. She’d promised the women helping her build NeuroDrive that the launch would be personal, rooted in something real — something true. And this essay… it was all of that. Raw and oddly fragile. But hers.

Behind them, the linen curtains shifted in the breeze.

“I think she likes it here,” Lando murmured, after a few minutes had passed in quiet. “Monaco.”

Amelia blinked, surfacing. “Ada?”

“Yeah. I had her out on the balcony earlier. She liked the sun.”

“She gets that from you,” Amelia said, dry as ever.

He laughed softly. “She does like the heat. More than I expected.”

“She likes everything here,” Amelia admitted, watching the night settle over the marina. “The boats. The water. Max’s cats.”

“She said ‘cat’ three times yesterday,” Lando said proudly.

“She’s five months old, Lando. It was probably just gas.”

“No,” he insisted. “She looked right at Jimmy and said it. Loudly.”

“Well, Jimmy did bite her toy rocket.” She said, her lips twitching at the memory of her daughter’s appalled face as the cat attacked her beloved stuffy. 

Lando huffed a laugh. “Valid reaction.”

They both fell quiet again, lulled by the rhythm of the moment. Amelia let her gaze drift across the open-plan living space of their Monaco apartment; all soft neutrals and clean angles, intentionally simple. 

This was Ada’s first real stretch of time here. The first time Monaco would ever feel like home to their daughter, not just a temporary stop between England and wherever Lando was racing next. Amelia had worried about that — the splitness of things. Of belonging to multiple places but never fully resting in one. But Ada, with all her glittering confidence and stubborn joy, didn’t seem to mind.

“She doesn’t mind the change,” Amelia said quietly. “She just… adapts. Quicker than I do.”

“You’ve been adapting longer,” Lando said simply. “She’s still new. You had to learn the hard way.”

“I’m still learning,” Amelia admitted.

He brushed his lips against her cheek, slow and careful. “I love how your mind works,” he said. “I loved it when I didn’t understand it, and I love it even more now that I do.”

She swallowed. Her throat felt tight in the familiar, unwieldy way that happened when someone saw her too clearly. “It’s almost done,” she said, nodding toward the document. “Just a few more edits. Then I’ll post it. The site’s ready. The social channels are scheduled. The first mentorship emails go out next week.”

He squeezed her waist gently. “You built a whole new system, baby.”

“I built a team,” she said, glancing at the screen. “It’s not just going to be mine.”

He nodded. “You’re going to change lives, baby.”

“Hopefully not just change them,” she said. “Build them. Design them. Like a car.”

He grinned into her hair. “You and your car metaphors.”

“I don’t use them that often.” She frowned. 

“Mm. You’re right. Only four times a day.”

He was teasing her. The lopsided smile, squinty eyes and tiny red splotches on his cheekbones told her so. 

She rolled her eyes but leaned back into him anyway. Lando’s arms around her. Ada safe and sleeping. The sea just a five minute drive from their inner-city apartment. 

It didn’t matter that the cursor was still blinking on her screen.

She’d found her place in the world; or built it, piece by piece.

And she was going to help other girls do the same.

—

@/NeuroDriveOrg Today, we’re launching NeuroDrive: a charity organisation formed to empower autistic women in motorsport — because brilliance comes in many forms, and it’s time we celebrate every one of them. Find out more and discover how to get involved by clicking the link below. #NeuroDriveLaunch 

Replies:

@/f1_galaxy

OMG AMELIA???? This is so crazy but I’m so here for it!! #NeuroDriveLaunch

@/racecarrebel

Autistic and a gearhead? That’s me lol. Signing up right now!

@/sarcasticengineer

wait so I can geek out about torque and not pretend i get social cues? literally a dream 

@/cartoonkid420

*gif of a car drifting sideways* When you realize your fave F1 engineer is actually a real-life superhero  #NeuroDriveLaunch

@/chillaxbro

Amelia Norris (CEO) IKTR

@/maxverman

Yk honestly big ups to @/AmeliaNorris for making this happen. What a woman. 

@/indylewis

This being the first post I see when I open this app after my diagnosis review? CINEMA. 

@/f1mobtality

BEAUTIFUL. INCREDIBLE. AMAZING. BREATHTAKING. #NeuroDriveLaunch

@/notlewisbutclose LEWIS ON THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS? IKTR MY KING 

@/LewisHamilton Proud to see and have a hand in making initiatives like NeuroDrive happen. It’s about time that we start making strides to pave the way for real diversity in motorsport. Change is coming, and it’s about time. #NeuroDriveLaunch

@/landostrollfan99 PLS I KNOW LANDO IS CRASHING OUT BC HE’S SO PROUD OF HIS WIFEY RN 

@/NeuroDriveOrg Thank you everyone for all the love! Our virtual mentorship program opens next week; sign up to be part of the first cohort! Over 18’s can sign up themselves, but anyone younger must have parental consent. Thanks, Amelia. 

@/AnnieAnalyst

My mom has been a hardcore motorsport fan for decades. She’s on the spectrum. She’s found such joy in watching Amelia Norris take the F1 world by storm over the past eight years. I know that she’s going to be so happy about this. Can’t wait to tell her. 

@/samliverygoat

This is sick. I’m a guy, but my sister is eight and autistic and wants to be a mechanic. I’m gonna tell my mum about this and get her signed up. Big ups your wife @/LandoNorris 

—

Lando woke slowly, the Monaco morning sun spilling in through gauzy curtains and casting pale gold across their bedroom. The room was still, quiet in that delicate way that meant someone had been awake for a while already.

He blinked, then turned toward the warm shape beside him; and stopped, his breath catching slightly at the sight.

Amelia was sitting upright against the headboard, hair pulled into a messy knot, one arm curled around Ada who was nestled into her chest, half-asleep and nursing. Her other hand held her phone, screen dimmed low. She was speaking quietly — not in a cooing baby voice, but in her normal cadence, clipped and slightly analytical.

“…recognises familiar people, understands simple instructions, imitates gestures, like clapping or waving; well, I’ve literally never seen you wave unless it’s to say goodbye to your own socks.” She frowned.

Lando smiled into his pillow, eyes still half-closed.

Amelia glanced down at Ada, who blinked up at her with wide eyes and a dribble of milk on her chin.

“That’s fine. You’re spatially efficient already.”

“Are we reading milestone checklists?” Lando’s voice was thick with sleep, rough-edged and fond.

Amelia didn’t jump, didn’t even look away from her screen. “It’s her birthday. I thought I should make sure she’s not developmentally behind.”

“She’s licking your elbow,” he pointed out.

“Which is not on the list,” she sighed. 

Lando scooted closer, propping himself up on one elbow to see them both better. Ada detached with a soft sigh, then yawned, full-bodied and squeaky. Amelia adjusted her shirt without ceremony and let Ada rest against her, one hand gently stroking her hair.

“She’s perfect,” he said, leaning over to kiss the crown of Ada’s head, then Amelia’s shoulder. “Milestones or not.”

Amelia hesitated. “She’s not pointing at things. That’s apparently a big one.”

“She screamed at Max’s cats until they moved out of her way, does that count?”

Amelia hummed in thought. “I suppose we could classify that as assertive communication.”

They sat like that for a minute, wrapped in the warm hush of early light and baby breaths. Monaco in June was hazy and beautiful, a perfect little jewel box of a day already unfolding around them.

“Do you think she knows it’s her birthday?” Lando asked, voice still low.

“No,” Amelia said simply. “Probably not. But we do.” She glanced down at their daughter again, something unreadable, almost too tender, flickering behind her eyes. “I know it’s been a year since I stopped being one version of myself and started being another.”

Lando’s hand found hers where it rested on Ada’s tiny back. “Yeah, baby?”

Amelia tilted her head, considering. “Maybe. I feel… broader. Like I can stretch in more directions now.”

He smiled. “You’re perfect.”

Ada, half-asleep, made a soft gurgling sound and grabbed Amelia’s Lando necklace in one surprisingly strong fist.

Lando leaned in again, voice warmer now. “Happy birthday, sweet little pea,” he whispered to Ada, then kissed Amelia’s jaw. “And happy birth-day to you.”

Amelia made a face. “That’s not a thing.”

“It is,” he insisted. “You did all the work. You should get recognition too.”

“I suppose.” She considered it for a minute. “Does that mean I should congratulate you on the anniversary of her conception?”

She was being serious — which was why he just smiled instead of laughing the way he desperately wanted to. “If you want to, baby.” 

She nodded and catalogued that away in the small corner of her brain that contained a long list of dates that mattered most to her. 

She think about it like this: dates she will never forget. Not because she wrote them down, but because they’re carved into the soft machinery of who she is. 

October 9th — Her mother’s birthday. 

November 7th – Her father’s birthday. 

December 12th, 2021 – Max’s first championship win. 

July 5th, 2022 — Her wedding day. 

July 2nd, 2023 – Oscar’s first Grand Prix start. 

May 5th, 2024 – The day Lando won his first race. 

June 30th, 2024 – The day Ada was born. 

She’s always catalogued things.

It made the world digestible.

But those dates don’t need charts or colour codes.

They live in her like heat. Like heartbeat. Like gravity.

Later, there would be cake. Balloons. Chaos. Max will appear with sacks full of wrapped gifts. Ada will probably eat something that she isn’t supposed to. 

Lando takes Ada into his arms and lifts her above his head, blowing a bubble at her with his lips. 

She drools sleepily, and Amelia winces when milky bile spills from her mouth. 

Yeah. Not a good idea to jostle a well-fed baby. 

Lando made a face and then used his t-shirt to wipe their little girls’ lip clean. 

She stared at him. 

And at their small, wondrous girl. 

A year old. 

—

Seventeen Years Later

The sky was brightening in soft lavender layers over the marina. Monaco looked almost quiet for once — like it was holding its breath.

Ada sat cross-legged on the bedroom floor, her back pressed to the base of her mother’s old desk. The drawer had stuck for years, warped with sea air, but today it had slid open easily. Like it had been waiting for her.

Inside: one neatly folded sheet of thick paper. Her name was written in the corner in her mum’s handwriting. Clean, sharp letters. 

She unfolded it carefully, even though part of her already knew what kind of letter this would be. Not sentimental. Not flowery. Not emotional in the ways people expected. But honest. 

My beautiful Ada,

I’m writing this on your first birthday.

You’re asleep right now — finally — with vanilla frosting in your hair and a purple sock on one foot and not the other. Your daddy’s asleep too, mouth open, curled around the giraffe that Maxie gave you today. I should be sleeping. But I’m here, writing this. That probably says a lot.

I don’t know who you’ll be yet. Not really.

Maybe you’ll love numbers the way I do. Maybe you’ll throw yourself into art, or animals, or flight, or noise. Maybe you’ll carry the softness your father wears so easily. Maybe you’ll burn hot like me and never quite know how to dim it.

Or maybe, hopefully, you’ll be entirely your own: unshaped by us, unafraid of being too much or not enough.

All I know is this: whoever you are, whoever you become, I will love you without condition and without needing to fully understand.

Because understanding is not a prerequisite for love. It never has been.

I want to get everything right. I won’t. I already know that.

But I promise I will try. Fiercely. Unrelentingly.

I will learn what you need from me, over and over again, as you change and grow and outpace me. I will listen — even when I don’t know what to say. I will ask you what you need, and believe you the first time.

Love isn’t easy for me in the way it is for your daddy. I don’t always say the right thing, or give affection in the way people expect. But please know: I love you with everything I have. In every way I know how.

It may not always look loud or obvious. But it will be real. And it will never leave you.

I will always be in your corner. 

Even if I’m quiet.

Even if I’m late.

Even if I’m gone.

Always.

— Mum

The letter smelled faintly of ink and something older; lavender, maybe, or the ghost of her mum’s favourite perfume. Ada folded it carefully along the worn creases and slid it back into its envelope, fingers tracing the edge before getting up and going back to her bedroom, tucking it inside the drawer of her nightstand.

The light from the marina hadn’t reached this side of the house yet, but the sea breeze had — soft and salt-laced through the open windows. Ada padded barefoot across the wooden floor, familiar as the lines on her own palm, and moved quietly into the hallway.

The balcony door was already ajar.

Her mother was there, as she always was on mornings like this — perched in her usual chair, legs tucked under her body, a latte cradled in both hands. Her hair was scraped back in a low twist, pale in the early morning light, and she hadn’t noticed Ada yet.

Amelia was humming. Softly. Tunelessly. A little stim she’d done for as long as Ada could remember.

Ada hesitated in the doorway, just for a moment.

Then she stepped forward, slow and quiet. Climbed into her mother’s lap without a word, curling against her like she was still small enough to belong there.

Amelia stilled for half a breath. Then she shifted, just slightly — letting her daughter fit against her without comment or tension. One hand settled over Ada’s spine. The other stayed wrapped around the ceramic heat of her cup.

She didn’t ask questions.

She didn’t need to.

Instead, she kept humming. A low, constant thread of sound that vibrated in Ada’s ribs as she pressed her cheek to her mother’s shoulder.

They watched the sun climb over the harbour. The light came in slow and sure, brushing over the rooftops and catching on the water in amber fragments.

Amelia didn’t speak. She just held her daughter. One hand stroking the same pattern — left shoulder to elbow, up and back again.

And Ada breathed. Steady. Whole.

She was older now; too big, probably, to sit in her small statured mum’s lap like this. But not today. Not just yet.

In her mother’s arms, she was still allowed to be small.

Still allowed to be quiet.

Still allowed to simply be.

And Amelia, in the language she had always known best, presence over words, held her through it.

As the light shifted across the sea, the only sound between them was the soft hiss of foam against porcelain. The familiar hum. The heartbeat of love — silent, constant, and entirely understood.

— 

2025

It was impossible to sum up the 2025 season in any cohesive way. 

There were days she felt like she was balancing on the tip of a needle. 

Her car was perfect. That much was undeniable. For the first time since she’d begun clawing her way through every door that had once been locked to her, the machine under her boys wasn’t just competitive — it was untouchable. Fast on every compound. Nimble in the wet. Ferocious in the hands of a driver who knew how to take it to the edge.

And she had two of them. Two.

Oscar and Lando.

Her driver. Her husband.

It would have made a weaker team combust.

But McLaren hadn’t combusted. Not yet, anyway. Not under her watch.

Oscar had grown into himself in ways that still caught her off guard — all lean control and precision, carrying the ice-veined patience of someone who had watched others take what he knew he was capable of. He drove like someone with nothing left to prove and everything still to take.

And Lando... Lando had grown, too.

There were days he was still impossibly frustrating — still too harsh on himself, too reactive on the radio, still hurt in ways she couldn’t always patch. But he was stronger now. Calmer. Faster. And he trusted her. Not blindly, not because he loved her — but because he believed in her. Her mind. Her leadership. Her.

Every race had been a coin toss. Oscar or Lando. Lando or Oscar. Strategy calls had to be clinical. Unbiased. And every week she made them with the knowledge that whatever she chose could cost someone she loved the chance at something immortal.

She wouldn’t let herself flinch.

Not when the margins were this razor-thin.

Not when the car was finally everything she’d spent her life trying to build.

When the upgrades landed and they locked out the front row, she didn’t smile. She just stared at the data until the lines blurred, heart thudding, and told herself she’d allow joy when it was over.

When they took each other out in Silverstone; barely a racing incident, but brutal nonetheless, she didn’t speak to anyone for two hours. Just shut herself in the sim office and breathed through the silence until the tightness left her hands.

When they went 1-2 in Singapore, swapping fastest laps down to the final sector, she didn’t even hear the cheers. She just watched the replay of the overtake again. And again. And again.

Precision. Patience. Courage.

They had everything. And they were hers — in the only ways that mattered in this arena. Oscar, her driver. Lando, her husband. Both brilliant. Both stubborn. Both driving the car she had finally, finally perfected. 

In the garage, she never played favourites.

In the dark, she ached with the weight of both of them.

Now, the season was nearly over. One race to go. One title on the line. Between them.

And Amelia?

She felt something not quite like calm. Not quite like pride.

Something vaster.

She didn’t know who would win. She truly didn’t. She wasn’t even sure if she had a preference. Her love for Lando, loud and chaotic, as real as gravity, lived beside her fierce loyalty to Oscar, who had never once asked her to earn his trust, only to maintain it.

She loved them differently. But she loved them both.

And whatever the final points tally read, whatever flag waved first in Abu Dhabi, it would not change what she’d built. What they’d built. A machine so complete, so purely competitive, that the only person who could beat it was someone inside of it.

That, she thought, was the mark of something enduring.

And in the quiet before the finale, Amelia allowed herself a breath of pride so deep it nearly broke her open.

It wasn’t about the trophy anymore.

It was about the fact that the world had doubted her. Them. 

And now they couldn’t look away.

—

2026

Amelia had been keeping a spreadsheet. Of course she had.

A private one — just a simple, tucked-away Google Sheet with six columns: Developmental milestone, Average age, Ada’s age, Observed behaviour, Paediatricians’ notes, and Feelings (which she almost always left blank).

She updated it weekly. Sometimes daily. Just in case.

And she knew, clinically, that speech development wasn’t one-size-fits-all. That some children talked at eight months and others waited until twenty. That it was normal, even healthy, for some toddlers to take their time.

But normal never did much to soothe her.

Especially not when the silence had started to feel louder than it should.

Ada babbled — just not much. She gestured, pointed, tugged their hands, grunted with specific frustration when her needs weren’t met. She understood them. That wasn’t in question. But her lips hadn’t shaped a word yet. Not one.

At twenty-two months, Amelia was trying not to spiral. But her spreadsheet had too many empty cells. Too many quiet mornings.

“Maybe she just doesn’t have anything she feels like saying yet,” Lando said one night, rolling onto his side to face her in bed. Ada had gone down late and Amelia had spent the evening researching speech therapy assessments and second-language interference. 

“She should have at least one word by now,” Amelia muttered, eyes on her screen.

“She’s got plenty. She just hasn’t said them out loud.” Lando reached out, nudged the laptop closed. “She’s fine. You know she’s fine.”

Amelia sighed. “You always say that.”

“Because it’s always true.”

She wanted to believe him. She really did.

—

The next afternoon, Ada was with them in the garage — tucked into her earmuffs and her tiniest McLaren hoodie, perched in her playpen while Amelia ran final aero checks on a new floor configuration. Lando had stopped by between simulator sessions and was now crouched beside Ada, offering her a padded torque wrench like it was a teddy bear.

Amelia looked up from her laptop, distracted by a little squeal.

Ada had pressed both palms against the concrete floor. And a smudge of oil had made its way across her hand.

She looked at it, then at Lando, wide-eyed.

Then she scrunched up her nose, a perfect mirror of her mother’s expression, and said, clearly and without hesitation, “Yucky.”

Lando blinked. Froze. Then looked up at Amelia, stunned.

“Did you—? Did she just—?”

Amelia’s heart felt like it missed a step. Her head jerked up so fast she hit the underside of the wing she’d been crouched under.

“Ow—shit—”

Lando was already lifting Ada out of the playpen, laughing in disbelief, oil smudge and all.

“Say it again,” he coaxed gently. “Yucky? Yucky, bug?”

Ada just beamed at him and smacked his cheek with her dirty little hand, leaving a streak behind. “Yucky,” she declared again, giggling like she knew exactly what she’d done.

Amelia didn’t know whether to cry or pass out.

She walked over in a daze, eyes locked on her daughter. “She said it. She actually said—”

“Yeah,” Lando said, grinning. “You heard it too, right? I’m not making this up?”

“No,” Amelia said, soft and stunned. “I heard it.”

Then she reached for Ada without hesitation. Let her daughter press her messy little face into her neck and pat her collarbone with smudged fingers.

Yucky.

It wasn’t what she expected.

But it was perfect. 

—

2027

Grid kid.

Ada Norris was a grid kid.

Not the official kind, with a lanyard and uniform and carefully timed steps. She wasn’t old enough for any of that. She wasn’t even tall enough to reach the front wing of her father’s car without climbing onto someone’s knee.

But she was there — always. Like a mascot, a comet, a little bit of joy wrapped in neon.

At three years old, Ada had developed a sense of style entirely her own. This week, it was neon pink. Head to toe. From the glittery bucket hat she refused to remove, to her sparkly tulle tutu layered over orange papaya leggings, to the pink Crocs decorated with star-shaped charms.

She stuck out like a sore thumb against the rest of the paddock; all matte branding and fireproof greys. But nobody dared to comment.

She was Ada.

Everyone knew Ada.

She’d grown up within the walls of paddocks. Learned to walk behind the McLaren hospitality motorhome in Hungary. Her first solid food had been a biscuit stolen off Oscar’s pre-race snack plate. Her mini paddock-pass gave her access to every team’s motorhome, just in case she got lost and needed a soft place to land.

By now, she knew the names of every mechanic, every engineer, and every race director on the rotating FIA schedule. She greeted them all by name. Correctly. And she remembered who liked what kind of sweets.

The media barely saw her. That was a conscious boundary. Amelia — razor-sharp, unbothered by PR expectations — had drawn the line early and made it immovable. No up-close photos of Ada’s face. No intrusive questions. If Ada wanted to be public someday, that would be her choice — not something sold for a headline before she could spell her name.

But within the paddock itself, Ada was a fixture. A streak of colour and mischief. Fiercely protected. Fiercely loved.

And she had routines. Rituals, really.

One of them involved storming onto the grid like she owned it (Amelia walked slowly behind), pushing past engineers and camera rigs, and beelining toward two very important people.

The first: her uncle.

“Ducky!”

Oscar turned the moment he heard her voice, already crouching down with open arms. He was in his race suit, grinning like he hadn’t just been pacing with nerves ten seconds earlier.

“Oi,” he said, “that’s not my name, trouble.”

“But it’s what Mummy calls you!” Ada argued, already climbing into his lap like a koala. “I remember!”

“She’s got you there, mate,” Lando called from a few feet away, amusement curling through his voice.

Oscar rolled his eyes but leaned forward for his good luck kiss. Ada planted a dramatic one on his cheek, complete with a mwah sound effect, then hopped off and marched across the grid to Lando.

Her daddy.

He crouched before she even reached him. She barrelled into his arms with the enthusiasm of a girl who had never once doubted she would be caught.

“You ready, Ada Bug?” he asked as he scooped her up.

“Ready!” she chirped.

“Gonna give me a boost?”

She nodded solemnly, then leaned forward to kiss him right on the tip of the nose — her signature move. Soft, sticky-lipped from the fruit pouch she'd insisted on finishing on the way in. Then she whispered, very seriously, “Be fast. And be smart. Love you, Daddy.”

Amelia, standing just behind them, caught Lando’s expression shift; just a fraction. A sudden, raw quiet behind his eyes. He pulled Ada closer, briefly, wordlessly. Pressed his nose into her hair.

Then, carefully, he passed her back to Amelia.

Amelia took her easily — muscle memory now — resting Ada against her hip like a second heartbeat. She adjusted the strap of her crossbody bag with her free hand and took a long sip of her iced coffee.

“Drive fast,” she said evenly, meeting Lando’s eyes.

He smirked faintly, already turning back toward his car.

“Be safe,” she added.

He nodded once, familiar rhythm.

And then, casually, almost too casually, she added, “I’m pregnant.”

He froze. One step from the car. “What?”

“I’m pregnant,” she repeated, softer this time. No smile, no build-up — just fact, like announcing the weather.

They hadn’t expected it. Not exactly. They’d been trying for a few months, hopeful but guarded. Amelia had been tracking everything — methodical as ever — but refusing to let herself get too wrapped up in the outcomes. Lando had taken a more gentle approach. Faith over control. He’d just kept telling her, It’ll happen when it happens. We’re already a family.

And now it was happening.

For a heartbeat, Lando didn’t move.

Then he turned fully — slow, like gravity had stopped working — and blinked at her.

Ada, oblivious, was babbling about how she wanted to wave the checkered flag today and if Max’s cats could come to the garage next time.

But Lando only stared at Amelia.

“Oh,” he breathed, voice cracking wide open. “Holy shit.”

Amelia’s mouth tilted upward. Barely.

He was already in his race suit, just minutes from lights out, about to hurtle into one of the most competitive qualifying sessions of the season — but suddenly, he looked younger. Dazed. Entirely undone.

His hands hovered in the air like he wanted to reach for her — didn’t know where to begin.

And Amelia, ever precise, ever composed, leaned in and kissed him. Quick. Solid. Grounding.

“We’ll be fine,” she murmured against his lips. “We always are.”

“Another baby?” he whispered, reverent.

She nodded.

Lando let out a breath. One hand came up to his chest like he needed to physically hold it all in — the awe, the fear, the quiet wonder of it.

Then his comm crackled: “Two minutes to final call.”

He blinked. Straightened. Looked at his wife. Then at his daughter. Then back again.

“Okay,” he said, drawing in one last steadying breath. “Right. Fast. Clever. Safe.”

“Love you,” Amelia told him.

“Love you,” he echoed, already stepping toward Will, adrenaline and awe carrying him forward.

Ada tugged gently on Amelia’s shirt.

“Mummy?”

“Yes?”

“Can I go and tell Maxie you’re gonna have a baby?” she asked, eyes wide and serious.

Amelia bit back a laugh and turned them toward the edge of the grid. Her mum was already waiting near Lando’s garage to take over babysitting duty.

“Not yet. Your daddy drives better with adrenaline,” she said, adjusting Ada’s ponytail with one hand, “but your Uncle Maxie gets distracted. We’ll tell Maxie another time, okay?”

“When?” Ada asked, frowning a little.

“I think… we’ll tell him next week. At the wedding.”

Ada’s face lit up. “I can’t wait to wear my pretty dress, Mummy!”

Amelia kissed her forehead, pulling her a little closer as they weaved between team personnel.

“I know, baby,” she said softly. “You’re going to look beautiful.”

—

202X 

He did it.

The air was electric. No — it was charged, like the world itself had paused mid-spin to catch its breath.

Lando stood on the top step of the podium, champagne in one hand, heart in his throat. There were tears in his eyes — real ones, wild and stinging, completely unfiltered. His face was flushed, soaked from the spray, but his grin was a thing of pure, stunned wonder.

He’d done it.

World Champion.

A cheer rolled across the circuit like thunder. The fireworks lit up the sky behind him in great booming waves, streaks of orange and silver and gold — and below, just past the glittering wall of photographers, she was there.

Amelia.

The crowd blurred. The moment blurred. But she didn’t.

She stood at the base of the podium steps, her hair tousled from wind and chaos, arms crossed tightly across her chest like if she didn’t hold herself together she might simply combust. Her eyes were glassy. Her face unreadable — until it wasn’t.

Until he stepped down and reached for her.

Until she moved without hesitation.

He caught her with the kind of ease that didn’t need choreography — years of knowing her weight, her stillness, her everything. His arms wrapped around her middle, and before she could say a word, he spun her. Under the lights. Under the fireworks. Under the full, beating heart of a decade in the making.

Her laugh cracked open the noise. Her legs curled up instinctively. Her hands dug into the back of his fire suit.

She said his name, just once. No title. No superlatives. No team radio.

Just him.

Lando.

He set her down slowly, like she was fragile, like the moment might shatter if he moved too fast — but she leaned forward and kissed him, hard, on the corner of his mouth, where the champagne had pooled and the smile wouldn’t quite leave.

The world spun again.

And somewhere, behind it all, Ada was being passed from Oscar to George to Max to Amelia’s mother, hands raised above the crowd as she screamed, “Daddy, daddy, daddy!”

@/f1

Lando Norris is the 202X Formula One World Champion.

What a season. What a finish. What a moment. 🧡👑 #WDC #LandoNorris #F1

@/mclaren

No words. Just joy.

Congratulations, Lando. You’ve earned every second of this.

And yes — that podium was everything. No, we’re not crying, you’re crying. 🧡🧡🧡

@/formulawivesclub

There is NOTHING more powerful than a man who wins the WDC and immediately spins his wife under literal fireworks. Iconic. Romantic. Cinematic. I am unwell. 😭😭😭

#WifeOfTheChampion #AmeliaNorris #PowerCouple

@/uncleducky44

the most magical WDC celebration this sport has seen in decades. maybe forever. PAPAYA ON TOP

@/maxverstappen1

*photo of Ada asleep on his shoulder post-podium, wearing her dad’s cap*

she said she had to stay up to see the champion. i think she made it to the fireworks. ❤️

— 

202X

Final lap.

The sun was setting in streaks of copper and violet. Floodlights cast the track in electric brilliance, shadows long and sharp. And the world was holding its breath.

Oscar Piastri led by six seconds.

Not enough to coast. Not when Lando was behind him.

Not when the championship hung in the balance — years of sweat and heartbreak and razor-wire precision culminating in this.

From the pit wall, Amelia’s voice came through steady and clear.

“Final sector. No traffic. You’re clear. Bring it home, Ducky.”

No theatrics. No screaming. Just her voice, the one constant he’d had for the entirety of his F1 career. Focused. Fierce. Full of something rare and warm and undiluted: belief.

“Copy,” Oscar said, breath hitching.

And then, in the most un-Oscar voice imaginable — thick with feeling, stripped raw, “…I don’t think I’m breathing.”

She laughed. A beautiful, cracked little sound. The comms team didn’t mute it. No one could. “Please breathe.”

He crossed the line a moment later. P1.

The fireworks hit the sky immediately; red and gold and brilliant. The pitman and garages erupted. McLaren, orange-clad and screaming, split open with euphoria.

And then Amelia’s voice again; louder this time, breaking apart at the edges: “Oscar Piastri. You are a Formula One World Champion.”

Silence.

Oscar didn’t reply. He just let out one long, disbelieving breath, and you could hear the hitched sound of someone trying not to cry and failing anyway. “We did it, Amelia.”

“You did it,” she corrected.

“No,” he said, firm now. Fierce. “We did. All of it. Every lap. You’re the best engineer and best friend I could’ve ever wished for. God, I love you so much.”

The audio went everywhere. Uploaded by the team, by fans, by rival engineers who had no choice but to respect it.

Two minutes of radio. Intimate. Impossible.

It was the most-streamed F1 clip of the year.

Because there he was — Oscar, still barely in his mid-twenties, helmet resting on the halo of his car, chest heaving as the gravity of it sank in.

And there she was; Amelia, halfway to the pit barrier, shoving her headset at a stunned junior engineer, sprinting.

He met her halfway. 

She didn’t usually hug. But she did then. Tight and wordless. Face buried in his chest. Years of partnership and pride wrapped into that single, silent second.

And when they pulled apart, he knocked his forehead against hers, grinning like a boy again. “Told you I’d win it.”

“I never doubted you.”

—

The footage of the podium showed Amelia next to the team, arms crossed, blinking hard. Oscar had to compose himself twice during the anthem. And when he raised the trophy, he pointed straight at her.

No words.

Just… pride. 

—

2028 

It started with coffee.

Not just any coffee — her coffee. The specific roast she loved from that tiny roastery near Lake Como. Brewed in silence while she slept in. No baby monitor, no toddler noise, no midnight feeding schedules. Just the steady hush of morning, and Lando moving through the kitchen like a man on a mission.

Amelia stirred around 9:00 a.m. — a luxury in itself.

There was a note on the pillow next to her.

Happy anniversary, baby. Today is yours. We’re doing it your way. Uncle Ducky has both of our babies today. Yes, willingly. Yes, I’m sure. No, you don’t need to check in on them.

Come downstairs when you’re ready. I’ve got step one waiting for you.

Love you forever,

— Lando

She blinked. Then smiled. Then got up without rushing — another gift.

When she padded downstairs, wrapped in one of his old t-shirts, she found him barefoot in the kitchen with a table set for two, sunlight spilling through the open balcony doors.

"Happy anniversary," he said softly, crossing to her with a hand on her cheek and a kiss that lingered. "Sit. Eat."

There were croissants from her favourite bakery in town. Raspberries and whipped butter. Her coffee, perfect. And Lando — already looking at her like the day was made.

“The kids?” She asked eventually, narrowing her eyes.

“Totally fine. They always are with Oscar. He made me promise not to call unless someone was bleeding. He said that you deserve a proper day off.”

“I don’t need a day off from my children,” she muttered, but the corner of her mouth twitched. “But it’ll be nice to be able to kiss you without tripping over one of them.” 

“Exactly,” Lando said.

Breakfast faded into a walk — hand-in-hand along the coast, slow and sun-warmed. No schedule. No pushing. Just the faint hush of waves licking the edges of Monaco and the occasional squeeze of Lando’s fingers in hers.

They didn't talk much, and that was deliberate.

Afterward, instead of a spa or anything tactile, he drove her twenty minutes out to their favourite low-key golf course — a hidden gem tucked against the edge of a hill, quiet in the off-season.

It had started a few years ago, this habit of hers. Her golf-ball collection was ever-growing, each one labeled and tucked into a little wooden tray above the fireplace. A more serious, tactile comfort that had slowly morphed into a silly, sentimental thing. 

Lando had never once questioned the golf ball. Not in the beginning, not in the middle. 

He just brought her to find the next one.

They played nine holes. She beat him on five.

He whined. She smirked. It was perfect.

She picked out a new ball from the pro shop (green) and tucked it into her coat pocket. 

“You’ll label that one later?” Lando asked, swinging her hand between them as they walked back to the car.

“Yeah,” she replied. “It's Ada’s favourite colour.” 

“This week.” He said. 

She smiled fondly. “Yeah. This week.” 

—

Lunch came after.

A rooftop place they both loved but hadn’t been to since before Ada was born. White tablecloths, soda on ice. Her favourite risotto, his ridiculous stack of truffle fries, two hours of soft conversation without a single interruption from a baby monitor or a toddler needing to pee.

No baby wipes in her bag. No cutting food into tiny, manageable pieces.

Just them.

—

The sun was setting when they got back to their place.

Amelia kicked off her shoes by the door and reached for her hair tie. Lando caught her hand before she could disappear upstairs.

“One more thing,” he said, almost shy. “Come with me.”

They climbed to the top-floor balcony; her favourite spot in the house. There, waiting: a blanket. Two glasses of wine. A bowl of green olives (Amelia’s vice). And a tiny projector already humming against the far wall.

She raised an eyebrow.

Lando pressed play.

Clips started to roll. Grainy little moments he’d stitched together over months — Ada’s first steps down the hallway at the MTC, the hospital selfie when Amelia had delivered their second baby (Lando’s eyes red from crying, Amelia’s thumb still smudged with blood), lazy footage of her asleep on the couch with both kids curled up on her chest.

Her laugh in the background of a hundred quiet seconds. The clink of teacups. The sound of a little voice calling, “Mummy, look!”

Then his voice — low, warm, recorded late at night from the quiet corner of their bed, “I’m so in love with this life.” 

Amelia said nothing. She was biting her lip a little too hard.

Lando didn’t push. He just shifted behind her on the blanket, pulling her gently between his legs and wrapping his arms around her waist — not too tight, just enough to say I’m here.

“You always make things perfect for everyone else,” he said into her shoulder. “So I wanted to make one perfect day for you.”

She swallowed once. Then leaned her weight back into him, just a fraction — a silent thank-you.

The sun dipped lower.

The stars began to nudge through.

And finally, softly, “Thank you,” she whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Impossible, I think.” She admitted, truthfully. 

Lando smiled into her hair and didn’t let go.

—

Later that night, Oscar sent a photo of Ada fast asleep on a pile of couch cushions in the middle of his flat, a cereal box half-open in the background.

Amelia texted back a blurry photo of her and Lando curled up on the balcony under a blanket, the projector still casting shadows across the wall.

Perfect day complete.

—

2030

The meltdown crept in slowly.

It always did.

Amelia had been trying to hold it back for hours — maybe days, if she was honest. The world had gotten too loud again. Too bright. Too many textures and demands and interruptions.

The fridge was humming wrong. Ada had spilled orange juice and then cried when her leggings got wet. The baby had been colicky all night. Lando was out doing media. Someone had moved the coffee mugs and none of them were in the right order.

She was standing in the kitchen, clutching the edge of the countertop so hard her knuckles were white, when it all finally crashed down on her. 

Her chest seized. Her eyes blurred. The sound in her ears turned to static.

Everything felt wrong. Too much. All at once.

And she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

She slid to the floor, knees curling up, hands covering her ears. Her breathing shortened. She rocked back and forth. Tears leaked out — not from sadness, but from pure sensory overload.

Across the room, Ada, six years old, in a T-shirt covered in glitter paint and crumbs, froze where she stood.

For one long moment, she just watched.

Not afraid.

Just... thinking.

Then, without a word, she turned on her heel and sprinted down the hallway.

She found her daddy in the bedroom, changing the baby’s nappy. He’d only come home a few minutes ago. Her little hand tugged at the hem of his shirt urgently.

“Daddy,” she whispered, breathless. “Mummy needs you.”

Lando paused. His head whipped up instantly. “What’s wrong, little-pea?”

“She’s on the floor. She’s crying with her hands on her ears. She’s not talking.”

Lando’s jaw jumped, but he kept his cool and handed Ada her baby brother. “Stay here, okay? You hold him and don’t move. I’ll go help Mummy.”

—

Amelia was still in the same spot, crumpled in front of the dishwasher, the noise of the appliance now too sharp, like claws dragging through her skull.

Lando knelt slowly beside her. Not touching. Not speaking yet. Just breathing in sync.

A beat passed.

Then two.

“I’m here,” he said quietly.

She didn’t answer. Couldn’t.

“I knew the dishwasher was making a weird noise,” he added gently, knowing exactly what she was hearing. “I’ll call someone to fix it tomorrow.”

Her shoulders twitched.

Still too much.

He sat down properly beside her, close but not touching, and began counting out loud.

“One. Two. Three. Four. Five…”

The rhythm gave her something to hold on to.

He kept going. Soft. Steady.

“…twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

When he finally reached forty, her hands lowered. Just a little. Her breathing slowed.

Lando waited.

And when her eyes finally fluttered open — puffy, red-rimmed, exhausted — he reached out with one hand, offering it but not insisting.

She took it.

No words, just pressure — fingers threading through his, grounding herself.

“I hate this,” she rasped, barely audible. “I was fine. I should’ve been—”

“Nope,” he said. “No rules. No shoulds. You just were. And now you’re here. That’s all that matters.”

Amelia blinked. Let out a breath that stuttered on the way out.

From the doorway, a soft voice, “Mummy?”

They both turned. Ada was peeking in, barefoot and clutching the baby monitor against her chest.

“I put the baby in his chair,” she said proudly. “And I put my light-up shoes away so they won’t hurt your eyes.”

Lando smiled faintly. Amelia just blinked again, overwhelmed by the careful compassion of a six-year-old.

Ada padded over, crouched carefully beside her mum, and offered a tiny, glittery toy dinosaur — the kind she usually kept in her backpack for comfort.

“You can hold this if it helps,” she said seriously. “Sometimes it helps me.”

Amelia took it with shaking fingers.

Then, finally, finally, she opened her arms.

Ada climbed into her lap.

And Lando wrapped them both up in his arms, squeezing tight. 

—

Later that night, when things were quiet again and the world had shrunk back to something manageable, Amelia whispered into the crook of Lando’s neck, “She went and got you. She knew.”

Lando kissed her hair. “She always knows,” he said. “She’s yours.”

Amelia smiled, small and raw. “No. She’s ours.”

— 

2033

They were sitting under the shade of an umbrella, barefoot and sun-drowsy, watching their children build increasingly complicated sandcastles twenty feet away. Ada had her arms bossily crossed, giving instructions like a forewoman. Her little brother — all curls and slightly sunburnt cheeks despite the copious layers of SPF50 — was digging trenches with his hands. 

Lando passed Amelia a cold can of peach iced tea.

She took it, absently, eyes on their kids.

Lando leaned back on his elbows, sighing. “Is it Thursday or Friday?”

Amelia didn’t answer immediately. Her sunglasses were halfway down her nose. Her hair was damp at the ends from her swim. “Friday,” she murmured. “Pretty sure.”

He nodded, squinting toward the sun. “Days have been blurring. If it’s Friday, it’s already the twelfth.”

He was right. The days had all started to melt together. Long mornings. Naps tangled in hotel sheets. Late dinners with sticky fingers and endless laughter.

Amelia sat up a little. Not sharply — but enough to catch her husbands attention. “Oh,” she said, very quietly.

Lando stared at her. “What, baby?”

She furrowed her brow. Like she was doing mental arithmetic. Calendar math. Gut instinct. “I’m… late.”

He blinked.

“…Like, how late?”

“Four days?” She said it more like a question. “Maybe five. I didn’t notice. With travel and the kids and— I don’t know.”

Lando sat up straighter, heartbeat suddenly louder in his ears.

They looked at each other.

Neither of them moved.

Down by the water, Ada shrieked with delight. “Mummy! We made a castle for the sea princess!”

Amelia waved back, mechanically, then turned back to Lando. “I didn’t bring a test.”

He scratched the back of his neck. “Should we go find a pharmacy?”

She hesitated. Then shook her head. “No. Not yet.” She reached for his hand, threading her fingers between his, palm warm. “Let’s just sit. Just for a minute. I want to stay here a little longer, before everything changes again.”

His grip tightened on hers. “Is that okay?”

Amelia nodded. “I’m happy. Just… surprised.”

Lando exhaled, gaze flicking back to their children. Ada was crowning her sandcastle with a plastic fork she’d found. Their son was diligently filling a bucket with sea foam.

“I think we’re gonna be outnumbered,” he said softly.

“I think we already are,” Amelia murmured, smiling faintly. “But that’s exactly what we wanted, isn’t it? Three of them. A couple of years apart. It’s perfect.” 

And they sat there. Under the umbrella, hand in hand, watching the beginning of their forever shift again.

The ocean kept talking, its waves crashing against the rocks at the other end of the beach.

So did Ada — ever the chatter-box. 

Amelia smiled. “Three is a good number.” 

“Three of them. Two of us. Five total.” He murmured. “We’re missing four.” 

“No we’re not.” She whispered. “You’re right here.” 

He blinked, then he leaned in and kissed her. 

—

2034

Ada slammed the front door shut with the theatrical force only a ten-year-old could manage.

“Mummy!” She yelled before she was even properly out of her shoes. “Mummy, I have to tell you something very important!”

Amelia looked up from the kitchen table, where she was re-assembling a snapped pencil sharpener and ignoring the half-eaten apple Ada had left on the kitchen bench to rot that morning.

“In here,” she called calmly.

Ada thundered in, socks half-falling off, her backpack barely zipped. Her cheeks were pink. Her plaits were lopsided.

“I’m in love,” she declared.

Amelia blinked once. “You’re what?”

Ada flopped dramatically into the chair opposite her. “I’m in love, Mummy. With a boy in my class. His name is Ethan and he wears Spider-Man socks and he let me use his sparkly blue gel pen for colouring even though he really likes it. He said I was clever.”

Amelia stared at her daughter for a long beat.

Then, she said plainly, “You’re ten.”

Ada sighed. “Yes, mummy. I know that.”

There was a pause.

From the hallway, the sound of keys jingling, the front door opening again.

Lando’s voice: “Where are my girls?”

“In the kitchen!” Ada called sweetly. And then, switching gears with dizzying emotional agility, she leaned in and whispered to her mum: “Don’t tell Daddy. He’ll make it weird.”

Amelia frowned. “I don’t lie to your dad. You know that.” 

Ada just sighed because yeah, she did know that.

Lando appeared in the doorway a moment later, freshly back from sim training. “Why do I feel like I just walked in on a crime?”

Ada beamed. “No crime! Just secrets!”

“Oh, cool, that’s comforting,” he deadpanned, kissing the top of her head. Then he gave Amelia a suspicious side-eye. “What’s happening?”

“Well,” Amelia said, “your daughter thinks that she’s in love.”

Lando’s eyebrows shot up. “I leave her at that school for six hours—”

“Daddy!” Ada groaned, flinging her arms dramatically over her face.

“—and now she’s in love?” He leaned over her chair, mock-serious. “Who is he? What does he do? What are his qualifications?”

“He’s ten!” Ada squeaked.

“That’s not a qualification,” Lando said, faux-grave.

Amelia was biting back a smile now, watching them.

“Daddy,” Ada said solemnly, peeking at him through her fingers, “his name is Ethan, and he gave me the good gel pen. The sparkly one. That’s basically marriage.”

Lando clutched his heart. “God help me. Wait until I tell Max about this.”

“I knew you’d make it weird,” Ada whined.

“I am weird, Bug,” he replied, scooping her up despite her protests. “That’s your legacy.”

He spun her around like she weighed nothing. 

Amelia smiled as she watched them. 

But when Ada caught her eyes mid-giggle, cheeks flushed, safe and loved and full of her first little crush, Amelia just smiled at her.

And Ada smiled right back.

—

Nine Years Later

She doesn’t marry Ethan.

Of course she doesn’t.

He moves to Devon at the end of Year 6, and she forgets the way his name made her stomach flutter by the time she’s twelve.

The next crush is taller. The next one after that plays guitar.

None of them stick. None of them feel right.

But she never says anything. Because… she’s Ada Norris.

And Ada Norris grew up being known. Watched. Treasured.

She keeps the sacred things close to her chest.

Until one day, fourteen years after her dramatic kitchen confession, she finds herself in the back of the paddock in Monaco, barefoot and suntanned, her hair in a braid, with a camera slung over her shoulder and dust on her jeans.

She’s nineteen.

She’s laughing.

And in front of her, sitting on a pile of stacked tyres, grazed knees tucked up under his arms and ice cream dripping down his wrist, is him.

Ayrton Verstappen.

One year younger than her.

A lifetime of familiarity.

She’s known him since before either of them could talk properly.

They played tag between hospitality units. Swapped Pokémon cards in Red Bull’s simulator room.

He once peed in her toy car. She once cut his hair with nail scissors because she thought it would make him less ugly. 

She never thought about marrying him.

Not seriously.

Not until she did.

It doesn’t happen all at once.

It’s the way he listens. The way he gets it — the legacy, the pressure, the strange ache of being a paddock kid with a famous surname and the expectation to become someone.

It’s the way he defends her when people assume too much.

It’s the way he doesn’t flinch when she stim-rambles or tells him she needs exactly ten minutes of silence.

It’s the way he waits — patient, steady, eyes bluer than any sky she’s ever seen.

She’s Ada Norris.

And someday soon, someday when the dust settles, and the stars line up just right, she’ll be Ada Verstappen.

And damn… it does have a nice ring to it.

—

2035

Amelia sat in the doorway of Sienna’s nursery, back pressed to the frame, coffee cooling in her hands. The house was quiet — unusually so. Ezra was napping. Ada was at school. Lando had taken a rare moment to go for a run.

And Sienna… Sienna was asleep. Peacefully. A soft halo of curls pressed into her muslin blanket, one fist curled beneath her chin like she’d already begun dreaming of something secret and important.

Amelia watched her, and breathed.

Three children.

Ada, her first, her fiercest, had taught her what love felt like when it broke you open.

Ezra had come quieter. A gentle soul with his father’s smile and a knack for slipping into people’s arms like he’d always belonged there.

And now… Sienna.

Her last. Her littlest.

Her loudest silence.

Almost entirely deaf. Diagnosed at three weeks old.

Amelia hadn’t cried — not then. Not when the results came in. Not even when the specialists had spoken gently about cochlear implants and early language support and accessibility.

She’d just… stilled. Absorbed. Pivoted.

It wasn’t grief.

Not exactly.

It was adjustment. Recalibration. Learning a new language — not just in signs, but in patience. In pace. In how to prepare for a life she didn’t know how to predict.

Sienna would be fine.

Better than fine. She had her father’s stubbornness and her mother’s ability to see patterns in chaos. 

She had a sister who’d already started practicing fingerspelling at the dinner table, and a brother who kissed her ear every time she blinked up at him. She had grandparents, uncles, a paddock full of honorary aunties and mechanics and engineers ready to build her whatever she needed.

She had love. The whole, complex, unshakable kind.

Still, this baby, this challenge, this gift, it had made Amelia stretch in ways she hadn’t before.

And there, on the floor, in the hush of a warm afternoon, she finally let herself feel it all. The fear. The wonder. The sheer magnitude of how much she loved these children — all three of them. So differently. So fully. So irreversibly.

Sienna shifted in her sleep.

Amelia didn’t move.

Just smiled. Tired. Whole.

“Okay,” she whispered, more to herself than anyone else. “We’ll figure it out together.”

And they would.

They always did.

—

2038

The garden behind their Monaco home wasn’t large, but it was theirs.

The sea glittered just beyond the hedges, and the sunlight slanted golden through the lemon trees. There were chairs set out in uneven rows, a makeshift arch wrapped in white linen and fresh lavender. No press. No guest list politics. Just the people who mattered — their parents, their siblings, a few of their closest friends, and the three children who had rewritten their lives in the best possible ways.

Ada was fourteen and refused to wear anything but the pink dress she’d picked herself. Ezra, five, clung to Oscar’s leg until Lando knelt and whispered something that made him laugh. And Sienna — three and a half, curls pinned back with daisy clips, cochlear implant nestled behind one ear — was already signing “cake” to anyone who made eye contact.

Amelia stood barefoot in the grass, holding her bouquet with one hand and Sienna’s palm with the other.

Her dress wasn’t new. She’d pulled it from the back of the closet — the pale ivory one she’d worn to a gala years ago, the one Lando had stared at like he’d forgotten how to speak. Soft and silky against her skin, it still felt like him.

Lando met her halfway up the path, smiling like he always had.

“Hi,” he said, taking Sienna’s hand too. “You look beautiful.”

“You look sunburnt,” Amelia replied, then softened. “But handsome.”

Beneath the lazy sway of the breeze and the quiet murmur of waves, Lando took both her hands and said, “I’d marry you a thousand times in a thousand different lives. But I’m really glad I got this one. With you. With them. With all of it.”

Amelia, ever spare with her words, just said, “You’re the love of my life, Lando Norris.”

Later, while the kids played under the fairy lights, Max and Pietra poured champagne, and Oscar stole cake straight from the platter, Lando found her standing off to the side, heels dangling from one hand.

He wrapped an arm around her waist. Kissed the top of her head.

“That felt special,” he murmured.

“It did,” she said.

Because it only confirmed what they already knew. 

They had each other. They had their home. 

And their love had only deepened with the quiet weight of time.

The rest — as always — was just radio silence.

[ursus-argenteus]

I'm an editor and a writer both and the way this post speaks to my experiences I feel like I need to comment about.

When I was young, I grew up nurtured by literature. I learned to read at an early age, but I fell in love with words and language thanks to my mother. At the time, she was a doting lover of language, story-telling, and poetry. We would often cuddle together in my parents' waterbed and read together from her books of classic poetry. I had Paul Revere's Ride memorized, though I can't remember why that poem in particular was so foundational.

Naturally I grew to love vivid, beautiful language. "Show don't tell" was ingrained in me even early as a writer, and so my fiction writing would be full of detailed - often superfluously so - descriptions of characters and scenes. I also wrote poetry, and by my late teens, was participating in slam poetry competitions online.

I look back at that era of my poetry, the incredible visuals and feelings and experiences that it gives, and wonder why I lost that.

The answer isn't simple: it's a complex weave of trauma and mental health and personal growth and college classes and career seeking that formed my young adult life. It wasn't a sudden switch - just a gradual retreat into the shadows as the style I started with withered from all of these things, including expectations.

One pivotal experience in this was my creative writing course in college. My instructor was an ex-hippy who was drunk on literary minimalism. "If you are going to write that the truck is blue," she said, "then what is the reason for it being blue? If it does not add to the story, remove that detail. For that matter, why a truck? If the truck does not reflect on the plot or the character, if it does not give meaning, then eliminate that too."

I hated that stance, and I despised this approach. But it was not the only place I encountered such smothering of prose, especially in college where academic writing is taught to absurdity, and in self-doubt, and fear of rejection, I found myself cutting away little details everywhere. I refused to be as minimalist as my instructor, but the effect was still noticeable.

Years later, I found myself stumbling into a career as a writer for online media and journalism. I had always enjoyed writing non-fiction, though it wasn't my primary passion, and as it turns out, I am good at it. There is very little room for pretty language in news media, however, and while I would often slip in a creative metaphor or delicate phrase, I found myself adhering strongly to the Plain Language Movement (Plain English). Which I still do, at least for that style of communication.

For a good ten years plus, non-fiction writing was almost entirely what I produced, outside of text roleplay and a few small stories. When I found myself stumbling again, this time into a lore writer position, I found myself falling in love all over again with fiction. But my relationship to writing fiction is no longer the same, and poetry? Hah.

It is hard for me now - four decades into my life - to find that joyful, descriptive language I once used. I have been trained out of it, and I have been abused out of it. But I do love and miss it dearly.

This is a dangerous sentiment for me to express, as an editor who spends most of my working life telling writers to knock it off with the 45-word sentences and the adverbs and tortured metaphors, but I do think we're living through a period of weird pragmatic puritanism in mainstream literary taste.

e.g. I keep seeing people talk about 'purple prose' when they actually mean 'the writer uses vivid and/or metaphorical descriptive language'. I've seen people who present themselves as educators offer some of the best genre writing in western canon as examples of 'purple prose' because it engages strategically in prose-poetry to evoke mood and I guess that's sheer decadence when you could instead say "it was dark and scary outside". But that's not what purple prose means. Purple means the construction of the prose itself gets in the way of conveying meaning. mid-00s horse RPers know what I'm talking about. Cerulean orbs flash'd fire as they turn'd 'pon rollforth land, yonder horizonways. <= if I had to read this when I was 12, you don't get to call Ray Bradbury's prose 'purple'.

I griped on here recently about the prepossession with fictional characters in fictional narratives behaving 'rationally' and 'realistically' as if the sole purpose of a made-up story is to convince you it could have happened. No wonder the epistolary form is having a tumblr renaissance. One million billion arguments and thought experiments about The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas that almost all evade the point of the story: that you can't wriggle out of it. The narrator is telling you how it was, is and will be, and you must confront the dissonances it evokes and digest your discomfort. 'Realistic' begins on the author's terms, that's what gives them the power to reach into your brain and fiddle about until sparks happen. You kind of have to trust the process a little bit.

This ultra-orthodox attitude to writing shares a lot of common ground with the tight, tight commodification of art in online spaces. And I mean commodification in the truest sense - the reconstruction of the thing to maximise its capacity to interface with markets. Form and function are overwhelmingly privileged over cloudy ideas like meaning, intent and possibility, because you can apply a sliding value scale to the material aspects of a work. But you can't charge extra for 'more challenging conceptual response to the milieu' in a commission drive. So that shit becomes vestigial. It isn't valued, it isn't taught, so eventually it isn't sought out. At best it's mystified as part of a given writer/artist's 'talent', but either way it grows incumbent on the individual to care enough about that kind of skill to cultivate it.

And it's risky, because unmeasurables come with the possibility of rejection or failure. Drop in too many allegorical descriptions of the rose garden and someone will decide your prose is 'purple' and unserious. A lot of online audiences seem to be terrified of being considered pretentious in their tastes. That creates a real unwillingness to step out into discursive spaces where you 🫵 are expected to develop and explore a personal relationship with each element of a work. No guard rails, no right answers. Word of god is shit to us out here. But fear of getting that kind of analysis wrong makes people hove to work that slavishly explains itself on every page. And I'm left wondering, what's the point of art that leads every single participant to the same conclusion? See Spot run. Run, Spot, run. Down the rollforth land, yonder horizonways. I just want to read more weird stuff.

[heejakeswifeyyy]

~ENHYPEN fic recommendations (hyung-line (heeseung and Jay) )

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these stories!!! I’m simply appreciating the writers work . Kisses to all these amazing writers who wrote those amazing fanfics💋💋💋

Some of these have nsfw so mdni!!!!!

•Lee Heeseung

1. You make me @heesdreamer (stranger heeseung )

one of first fics ive read when I first joined tumblr I love this smmmmmm!!!!!

2. Player rank : platinum @simpjaes (sisters bf)

Is is even an Enhypen fic recommendations without simpjaes being mentioned????? Her work is just so good and well written

3. Only if you say yes @jaylaxies (Enemies to lovers)

I literally love all her work . Her brain just works differently yall 😣😣 wanna kiss it fr

4. I’m burning hot pt2 @orimuraa (idol x idol )

Idk if it’s just me but I’ve been looking for idol x idol fics for SO LONG and this was really good

5. Reasons to (hate) love you @hoonjayke (Academic rivals)

Words can’t describe how much I enjoyed this 😞💋

6. Cumming of age @enhaflixer (bfs brother)

Okay first of all big warning for this!!!!! I FUCKING LOVE IT??????? This is just crazy cuz it’s so well written

7. Miscommunication @jayparked (best friends to lovers)

Okay hear me out I usually don’t like this trope but when the writer is amazing as this u gotta expect a masterpiece

8.waiting room @heejamas (friends to lovers)

Same thing with this one literally amazing

9. Childhood best friends complex, p2 , p3 @myinaru (best friends to lovers)

Can u tell that I LOVE long fics? Low-key felt like I can went through my own break up 😭😭😭 an emotional ride fssss!!!

10. Make be mine @cutehoons02 (hybrid deer hee)

I literally lover all her work and this is just a chefs kiss fr💋

11. Nothing safe is worth the drive @calumcxke (playboy heeseung x inexperienced reader)

I LITERALLY REMEMBER WAITING FOR THIS bro I low-key felt so jobless waiting for this I’m literally an adult for ffs 😞😞 but who gives a fuck this was so worth the wait 💋

12. No hands @jaeyuniversal (loser heeseung)

3 fucking words : A FUCKING MASTERPIECE!!!!!!!!

13. Trapped @lassiie (step brother hee)

SHE WRITES SO WELLL I CANTTTTTRRRR PLEASE READ THIS?!!!!!

14. Kiss me he’s watching @enhaflixer (stranger hee)

I feel like I got so into it 😭😭😭 but so worth it <3

15. Closing shift @manifestobackshot (coworkers)

again literally waited so long for this AND IT WAS SO WORTH ITTTTTT the ending made me a bit sad tho :/

More under the cut

•Park Jay

1. Speed it up @mssishipi (bf Jay)

She lowk never disappoints I wanted to recommend other things but like there’s so much other good things 😭😭😭

2.Babysitter @jaysbaefie (age-gap / CEO Jay cheabol reader)

THE TENSION!???????

3. Pushing all my buttons @gyuuberryy (bodyguard Jay)

I literally love all her works they’re so funny and good?!!!!

4. DTF (Jake x reader x Jay) @simpjaes (neighbour Jay . Jake and reader are married)

Again it’s simpjaes what do y’all expect her work is always so yummy 😋

5. My kink is karma @sundives (strangers to lovers)

This was such a ride I love writers who pick up the pen and decide today I’m gonna destroy everyone with what I wrote

6. The art & science of parenting 101 @jakesimfromstatefarm (Academic rivals)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE ALL HER WORKS SHES SUCH A SWEETHEART 22😭😭

7. Leather jackets @cutehoons02 (frat gym boy Jay x book girl reader)

YALL YOURE GONNA BE SEEING LOTS OF HER WORKS RECOMMENDED HERE SO BARE WITH ME 

8. Symphony of us @heartsriki (band mates)

THIS MADE GO UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT WAS SO GOOOOOODDD😣😣😣

9. Yours (maybe?) pt2 @jaylaxies (Jake x reader x Jay) (academic rivals to lovers)

10. Shoe designer Jay x cheabol reader @hoondrop

Sigh I love being manhandled what can I sigh 🫩

11. Pretty kitty @sunniques (hybrid cat reader)

The smut was smutting fr DONT even argue w me on this one 🥹

12. Bad romance @cutehoons02 (vampire ceo single dad Jay)

the tension was so real bro I felt it irl istg….

13. Hate to have you @heesmiles (hocky player Jay)

Didn’t continue this yet but bro I’m literally dying I wanna finish it so bad but (WARNING) I have work😰

14. The intern @jaysbaefie

Pls I need her writing injected in my veins and blood

15. Burn the city for me @wetdarkprincess (Mafia au )

I LIVE FOR THIS 💋💋

YALL I promise I was adding Jake and Sunghoon but my laptop started to crash out so in p2 ig 🥰🥰🥰 pls DONT hate me 😰 anyways I really wanted to add more heeseung and Jay fics but Yk

I’m so so so sorry for all the writers I tagged 😭😭😭😭😭 pls forgive me 🙏

[writing-munchies]

NSFW HC's— Mateo, Hector, Eddie & Volt x GN!Reader (MDNI)

A/N: Wrote these as more of a practice to get back into the swing of writing after Uni fucked me in the ass with no prep. Thank you for reading<3 not proofread sorry for any mistakes as English isn't my first language :-] if you have a request for a specific character id love to see them!

WC: 2.1K

⋆.𐙚˚ ⋆.𐙚˚⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⋆.𐙚˚ ⋆.𐙚˚ ⋆.𐙚˚⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹⋆.𐙚˚

Mateo

With Mateo, you’re going to find a lover that is gentle and accommodating, firm on boundaries but not harshly so! He genuinely loves you with his entire being, that's why he’s willing to have these could be hard conversations.

Definitely a pleasure top, loves taking orders, loves seeing how he makes you feel good. Loves asking how you feel when his hands are exploring your body, “How’d that feel?”, “Does that feel good? Yeah?”, asks the same questions when he’s deep inside you, he doesn’t want to hurt you and… he gets carried away when he’s balls deep inside his favorite human, so he makes sure to prioritize your comfort and pleasure above his.

Dare I say, foreplay is his favorite part. Loves pawing at your clothes, his fingers playing with your already sensitive sex as your pajamas are ruined because of him. 

No matter how embarrassing it sounds, one of the quickest ways to get him horny is to sleep with him—your blanket—between your legs, especially if you’ve just masturbated before going to bed.

Mateo loves having his mouth on you in general. Sucks on your nipples, licks the cum spilled on your stomach, licks your neck after giving you a hickey, licks between your pecs/breasts, man just loves the taste of you. 

If you let him cum inside you—the affirmation alone makes his cock throb inside you by the way—he’ll let out a whine so pathetically needy, thanking you over and over again as he slams his hips down, capturing your lips in a kiss before thrusting as deep as he can. Biting down on your lip in pure ecstasy. Tears forming in those beautiful eyes of his as you feel him filling you up.

As mentioned above, very vocal and whiny when he gets needy. When you’re in the middle or even just foreplay, his voice is low and breathy, as he gets closer to the edge, his thrusts getting sloppy and your name starts to spill out of his lips non-stop; that’s when he gets whiny.

Receiving blowjobs are kind of a guilty pleasure for him. You did so much for him after all, asking you to suck him off without gaining pleasure in equal measure in return— hr can’t even get himself to ask. Even though he has had at least 3 wet dreams about it, the way your mouth envelops all of him, you wouldn’t let go until he came down your throat- fuck he knows you wouldn’t. He wants that shit carnally, if you tell him you want to make him cum with your mouth, he almost cries and cums on the spot.

Please, pretty please force him to cum down your throat, he might actually pass out, but it would be the best way to go in his mind. Don’t let go of his thighs and bury your head even deeper. Take his dick so deep that you feel his tip press on the back of your throat. The sensation alone will have him cry out your name and cum so fast and- so much.

After foreplay, aftercare is his favorite time. Loves spoiling you, feeling your warmth as you wrap him around you. Kisses you everywhere, makes sure to clean you up before himself, always puts you above himself. Cuddles you to sleep, a temple kiss as you fall asleep is a Mateo guarantee every time.

Hector

Honestly, he’ll be whatever the hell you want him to be, but he’s a pleasure top at heart. He loves being dominated, but also wants to be the one that gives you the pleasure. He wants to be the reason you can’t form coherent sentences as he’s fucking you, just like you asked him to.

He really can’t help himself sometimes, he just has to tease you. Like the hand on your nape being way colder than you expected as the hand he’s using to tease your sex being way hotter than expected— it creates a heavenly overstimulating experience that has you squirming in his hold, much to his delight.

One of his biggest kinks is being tied up, completely helpless. You could just leave him there while you watch and tease the tip of his dick with your index finger, just pressing on his slit a little bit to tease him about how much pre is coming out, and he just cums on the spot. Something about feeling like he’s your present, especially if you use pretty ropes— that’ll make him feel so pretty, actually!

Continuing on with the tied up part, he loves it he really does it’s just sometimes, not being able to touch you as you’re going down on him feels like pure torture. Of course, you’re going to make him cum just from getting his dick sucked, and his hole fingered as he begs and cries about wanting to touch you so badly, his fingers are itching, he’s crying and begging but know that the longer you deny him what he wants the more you’ll absolutely ruin him when you give him what he wants.

Ride him. That’s the fastest way to make him cum. You’re in control, on top of him and using his dick for your own pleasure? Oh yeah, he has already made peace with the fact that he’s going to cum as soon as his tip even touches your entrance. He’s just so, so sensitive to your every touch. He eats up every bit of sensation you make him feel. Though, he is very durable. He can go for a few rounds   even if he’s crying because of the overstimulation, it doesn’t matter as long as you’re getting use out of him. He was made to please you, after all. 

By any chance you give him free rein and let him fuck you however he wants to, prepare for it to get messy. His dick will slip out of you multiple times, pre and cum will be all over your inner thighs, but somehow it’ll be the best fuck you’ll ever have because it is driven by desperation, by love and fully shameless attraction towards your whole being outside and inside. Will cry if he cums inside of you prematurely, apologizing again and again whether you two used condoms or not. 

His body temperature will be a mess as well. When he’s so close to the edge, his entire body will burn up and up and as soon as he orgasms he will be ice-cold, it’ll take a while for him to adjust back to a comfortable degree. His fingers will be so cold from sheer excitement and nervousness bubbling inside of him while in foreplay, then it’s just going to get hotter and hotter until you’re both sweating buckets. He will do his best to adjust the temperature of his dick, finger, and mouth as to give you the full experience of getting it on with your…well, HVAC.

Would do his best to give you after care, but the poor thing’s nerves are fried beyond belief, so it’s up to you most of the time. Please never put off physical contact for long after sex, he’ll get so insecure about if he did well or if you’re disappointed or if he upset you. Loves kisses on his temple and tips of his fingers the most. So sweet to you after it, even more so, basically sings your praises with every breath he takes just to make you understand how much he loves you and how much of a treasure your body is to him as much as you yourself are.

My baby…

Eddie & Volt

Good God, these two. Prepare to be double-teamed or participate in double-teaming one of them because it is a guarantee that it’s going to happen.

Classic position in any throuple having sex, you’ll suck Eddie off as Volt is fucking into you from behind. They are both gentle but firm in their movements. Gentle to make sure they don’t hurt you or make you uncomfortable, firm in their movements as they do love using their most likely more superior physical strength on you. Such as, Volt practically gripping your hips with a force tethering on the edge of bruising as he thrusts into you with a good amount of force. Eddie will cup your chin in his palm as he forces you to look up at him as you take his dick all the way when Volt thrusts particularly slow and deep, leading to a cacophony of sounds of their moans and grunts and wet noises you can’t really control when your mouth is stuffed.

This position could also be varied in this way; if you have a dick or are willing to use a strap, Eddie will fuck into you as you’re deep inside Volt. Eddie loves having his hand on your throat as an anchor as he’s essentially fucking your brains out from behind as Volt has his arms wrapped around you, you’re using his thighs as an anchor with a death grip on them as the sensation of being full and being inside Volt along with both of their moans, whines, and praises does leave you a dumb little thing. “Close already, live wire?” as Eddie’s breathy voice is brushing against your ear, Volt is digging his nails on your back at the same time, “Look how needy he is already, don’t want to disappoint him do you?” when you shake your head, you hear him let out a deep chuckle, “Then don’t stop moving those hips, he needs to cum before you, don’t forget,” releasing your neck from his hold as Volt hugs you even tighter. With a loud moan as you feel Eddie hit that sweet spot, you let your hips move on their own with desperation, earning a moan of your name from both of them. 

You’re getting on that damn counter if you ever, and I mean ever, tease them on the opening hours. Your punishment? Spreading your legs for them on the counter while Volt uses his mouth on your sex in a way that’s barely stimulating but so tantalizing that you can’t help but thrust your hips up for more friction as Eddie’s fingers once again knowingly brush over that damn sweet spot. They’re doing it on purpose, giving you the sensation of pleasure but keeping the actual pleasure itself so, so close yet so far away to melt you into a begging, desperate mess.

This specific scenario will never leave my mind: You're on Eddie’s lap, your thighs are right on top of his, him opening his legs and yours in the process as he watches Volt fuck into you as he forces you to open your legs up when they close on instinct.

Volt’s guilty—but not really— pleasure is eating you out after Eddie just came inside of you:

If you’re AFAB he just loves the taste of both you and Eddie as he rubs your clit and fingers you with a brutally fast pace on your already overstimulated sex to make you cum on his tongue one more time, moaning into your cunt when you do so.

 For AMAB, he loves eating you out yes but his favorite thing to do is lick all that pre off of your tip, he loves the clean you up after a good fuck with Eddie, his tongue never leaving your tip as he sucks on the already sensitive tip and moans as your cum fills his mouth and the feel of your tip throbbing on his tongue is just heavenly.

You and Volt love teaming up on Eddie, it’s just so damn good. Volt takes Eddie’s dick out of his pants, gives his tip a kitten lick and helps you take all of it into your mouth. Stroking him as you suck Eddie off, Volt’s other hand cupping Eddie’s balls as he tells you to give them attention too. Teases Eddie for the very whiny noises that escape him, especially as he cums down your throat, he lets out such a pretty moan when he does so. Oh, Volt will never let him forget that, endless teasing material.

I wanted to write about how they’d try to fuck you with both of their dick’s in only one of your hole, but I don’t have much energy, so I’m just planting that idea in your lovely heads.

Aftercare will be 10/10 every time. Some cool water, both of them cleaning you up as you just lay there and get treated like royalty. Eddie will even have your favorite fruits stocked in their fridge just to give you some with a deep blush on his cheeks as if he didn’t just fuck your brains out 5 minutes ago. Volt is amazing at making you feel at ease, his voice is just so damn soothing, and he knows where to touch as he’s massaging you. Three-way cuddle, of course you’re in the middle.

[midniqhtt]

part two comfort reads II 4k celebration

₊˚⊹⋆ main masterlist ꨄ︎ part one list ₊˚⊹⋆

a/n: ran out of links and tagging blogs. thus part two!

hi loves! i never do anything for celebrating but i thought i could make a big list of all my favorite fics i’ve read over the past few months/years and continue rereading. i can never get enough of showing my appreciation for writers and all their hard work, and i want them to know i think of these fics/series at least once a day ♡︎

key- A: angst II F: fluff II S: smut II C: comfort

.𖥔 HARRY POTTER UNIVERSE .𖥔

𝑺𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑼𝑺 𝑩𝑳𝑨𝑪𝑲

ꨄ︎ tulips part two II @amiableness II A + F + S

After finding out Remus Lupin has found himself a girlfriend, a devastated Y/n L/n asks Sirius Black to help her get over him. Except Sirius has feelings for her.

ꨄ︎ if you love something II @mischievousmoony II A

Your boyfriend, Sirius Black, hasn’t been faithful and you can’t stand it anymore.

𝑱𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹

ꨄ︎ time warp II @astonishment II A + F

when the time-turner breaks, you find yourself at the start of 6th year once again. the only difference? it’s 1976. stuck in a time you shouldn’t even be alive in, you do your best to blend in, anxiously awaiting to see if dumbledore can help you get home. that all goes out the window when you catch the eye of a certain bespectacled boy. and the more time you spend with him, the harder it gets to walk away. but you have to…right?

ꨄ︎ why didn’t we work out II @/astonishment II A + F

James Potter had two girlfriends in seventh year at Hogwarts. Y/N Y/L/N, who he dated for five months; and Lily Evan’s, who he dated afterwards. When he’s dared to call on of his exes, guess who’s number he dials…

ꨄ︎ i can see you II @pretty-little-mind33 II A + C

James panics when he sees what his boggart is.

ꨄ︎ i’ve got plans sorry part two II @livinginshambles II A + C

James is whipped. He adores his girlfriend so much, to the point that it starts to bother his friends. His reaction to a confrontation about it with his friends is to completely pull away from you, always finding new excuses to avoid you, leaving you to try and approach him. When you overhear him trying to be cool under peer pressure and say that you're too clingy, you also start pulling away, using the same excuses.

𝑹𝑬𝑴𝑼𝑺 𝑳𝑼𝑷𝑰𝑵

ꨄ︎ a man with a plan II @ellecdc II A + F

Remus planned to never fall in love. Moony had other plans. [link is ch8]

𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑶𝑫𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑵𝑶𝑻𝑻

ꨄ︎ peonies II @/amiableness II A + F

Reader is devastated when Mattheo gets a girlfriend and asks Theo to help her get over him.

𝑺𝑬𝑩𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑨𝑵 𝑺𝑨𝑳𝑳𝑶𝑾

ꨄ︎ the night shift pt2 pt3 pt4 pt5 II @writing-intheundercroft II A + S + F

You're the lead healer in the St. Mungo's intensive care unit, and a painfully familiar face ends up in your ward.

𝑮𝑨𝑹𝑹𝑬𝑻𝑯 𝑾𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑳𝑬𝒀

ꨄ︎ illicit affairs II @festivalsofmargot II A + S

Garreth thinks back on his life with you, and it was far from perfect. But he’d relive every second if he had the chance.

.𖥔 STEVE HARRINGTON .𖥔

ꨄ︎ i’d knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss II @andvys II A + S

Steve was slipping through your fingers and you desperately held onto him not realizing that his heart wasn’t yours anymore. Dealing with the aftermath of your breakup turns out to be harder than you thought. Steve’s presence still lingers and while he keeps a hold of your heart, someone else sneaks their way into it too.

ꨄ︎ second chance II @astermath II A + F

steve decides to ask out the girl who he keeps seeing around hawkins with her nose in a book. he’s a little surprised when he gets brutally rejected, only to find out his “king steve” era is haunting him more than he expected. he attempts to make it up to you and show you he’s changed, even if it takes him a couple of tries.

ꨄ︎ hot for teacher II @handful0fteeth II S

you’re going on your first date with steve harrington, and hours before he’s due to pick you up your best friend gives you some rather unsavory information.

ꨄ︎ five tickets II @slashersteve II F

Steve couldn’t pass up a chance to be able to kiss you, even if there is a price.

ꨄ︎ for a good time call II @chestharrington II S + F

In the Summer of 1985, Steve's social standing is at an all time low. In an act of sheer, pathetic desperation, he calls a phone sex hotline. Little does he know, his dream girl from the hotline is just an escalator away.

ꨄ︎ christmas affairs II @maroon-cardigan II A + S + F

your christmas turns into a chaotic mess when your boss can’t fly back home and you end up stuck in New York City with him.

ꨄ︎ maybe this christmas time II @headkiss II F

working as an elf during the holidays (which he isn’t a fan of) is not how steve would choose to spend his time, neither is doing a bucket list of your creation. you end up changing his mind.

.𖥔 PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS .𖥔

𝑫𝑰𝑵 𝑫𝑱𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑵

ꨄ︎ best kept secret II @lincolndjarin II A + S + C + F

Married off to a prince on a planet that you hate? New husband doesn't know you, and doesn't want to know you? New husband gifts you a personal Mandalorian body guard as a wedding present? Mandalorian is a wiseass who won't leave you alone? Lucky you.

ꨄ︎ in a perfect world, you love me pt2 II @theidiotwhowritesthings II A + C

On the way to visit an old friend, you and Mando find trouble. Both of you are subjected to a drug that puts you in your perfect world. But, when you can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t, how do you know what to trust?

𝑱𝑶𝑬𝑳 𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑬𝑹

ꨄ︎ somewhere to run II @punkshort II A + S + C

You move to a small town in the middle of Texas to escape your past and start over. You don't expect to fall for the town's handsome sheriff.

ꨄ︎ i know who you are II @/punkshort II A + S + C

A fall on patrol causes you to lose your long term memory, forgetting the identities of your friends and loved ones. You have to learn all over again how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and you learn things about yourself along the way.

ꨄ︎ the fisherman’s wife II @joelmama II A + S + F

The free-spirited Reader is arranged to marry a divorced Fisherman named Joel Miller. And although she protested this at first, she soon wonders if maybe she could be happy with her new husband.

ꨄ︎ we bleed together II @bubbles-for-all-of-us II A

what if the last day of humanity was different? What if instead of loosing Sarah, Joel lost you - the mother of his two children and the person who had built him up to a better man.

𝑱𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑫𝑨𝑵𝑰𝑬𝑳𝑺

ꨄ︎ cupcake II deactivated blog II F

Jack Daniels, lead used car salesman at his dealership, has a crush on you, the pretty receptionist. It's too bad he can't get out of his own way. Luckily for him, you have patience and a soft spot for shy cowboys.

ꨄ︎ hot chocolate II @/punkshort II F + S

You lead a quiet, boring life in a podunk town, but when a certain secret agent stumbles into your world needing your help to catch a criminal at the local carnival, your quiet little life changes forever.

𝑱𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑬𝑹 𝑷𝑬𝑵𝑨

ꨄ︎ online love II @absurdthirst and @storiesofthefandomlovers II A + S + F

Coming home after Cali, Javi finds that his dad has moved into modern times. There's a computer in the house. Unsatisfied with his reputation proceeding him, he decides to go online to find out if he can be the man he wants to be. Except the one he connects with, you, has a very complicated past together.

.𖥔 MISCELLANEOUS .𖥔

𝑷𝑶𝑬 𝑫𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑹𝑶𝑵

ꨄ︎ hard landings II deactivated blog II A + F

Everybody in the kriffin galaxy seems to know you...Except for Poe.

ꨄ︎ something forgotten II @bensolosbluesaber II A + F

Poe Dameron is the love of your life, but he can’t remember you. Still, Poe finds himself drawn to you and seeing flashes of a life he has forgotten.

ꨄ︎ nine part two II @foxilayde II S

Idiots in love. You’re the idiot, mainly. You happen to hear something quite salacious about your bestie. And oooh boy, are you awful at keeping your shit together.

𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑵𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹

ꨄ︎ impetus II @wildwestdean II A + F

dean gets targeted by a witch while working a case, and she curses him to yearn for what he secretly loves the most. it seems to have no effect, until it's pointed out that he can't seem to stay away from you - but what happens when he tries to fight it?

ꨄ︎ friends after all part 34 II @angelkurenai II A + S

Dean Winchester. Mechanic. Neighbour. Best friend. Single father. And fake boyfriend? You babysit his daughter. You’ve known him for years and you’ve been really close. Everything will be put to test though when your sister's wedding approaches and he has the brilliant idea of pretending to be your boyfriend. Nobody would have ever thought of the result. Certainly not you.

𝑨𝑨𝑹𝑶𝑵 𝑯𝑶𝑻𝑪𝑯𝑵𝑬𝑹

ꨄ︎ sick of maybe II @luveline II A + C

You worry your boyfriend is ashamed of you. This is very much not the case. Or, 5 times Hotch hid your relationship (+1 time he didn’t).

ꨄ︎ three cents II @xneens II F

you butt dial your boss during a girls night … the girls night where you told them you’d fuck aaron hotchner for three cents.

𝑻𝑶𝑴𝑴𝒀 𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑬𝑹

ꨄ︎ wrong place, right time II @hauntedhowlett-writes II S

what if joel didn’t answer tommy’s call from jail? and what if the waitress he’d been defending that night bailed him out instead?

𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑯𝑼𝑹 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑮𝑨𝑵

ꨄ︎ fakin it II @hihomeghere II S

After a botched robbery, Arthur and you take refuge in a hotel, hiding from the O'Driscolls outside your door. When they do decide to search for you two, how will you throw them off your track?

[silveredinvadermyth]

I read Looking for Alaska at age 15 in 2005. I overheard my very Methodist grandmother, a children’s librarian, expressed shock over a part of the book that features a blowjob. Being a sexually frustrated teenager in a conservative Christian household, I immediately wanted to read the book. I borrowed it covertly from the library on CD, and listened to it on my Walkman at night. It turned out to be far less lurid than teen me expected, much to my disappointment. It also turned out to be fair more funny and relatable and poignant than I thought, much to my joy. I reread it recently, and loved it just as much as I did then.

My last time reading a John Green book was when I was 31. I was in a psychiatric hospital during Covid. (A place you never want to be during a good time, but even less so during a global pandemic.) A very close friend brought me Paper Towns. (Never take for granted the one friend who will bring you books and willing call you while you’re in the psych ward. Those kind of friends are your family.) Paper Towns helped me through my rough patch and took me away from the general horribleness of the hospital and my life at the time. I appreciated the distraction and a comforting and familiar writing style while I was in a rough time in a rough place.

I am now 35. The same friend who lent me Paper Towns (my big brother from another mother, the John to my Hank) recently recommended The Anthropocene Reviewed to me, and I loved it. (Minus John’s opinion on Canadian geese. I massively disagree. Canadian geese are 10/10 for how honest they are about being dicks and how adept they are at scaring tourists and small children.) It was a book that resonated with me just as well as Looking For Alaska did at 15. I looked him and Hank up and was very happy to see the Nerdfighter Community still going strong and doing amazing things.

I started watching the vlogbrothers in 2007, and was a part of nerdfighteria until I was about 20 or so. I loved the humor and insightful thought perspectives on everything. (Hank and John convinced me I was on the blue side of the aisle much to my families chagrin. My first vote ever was for Barrack Obama when I was 18. Obama Llama Duck did have a small part to play, admittedly.) I enjoyed them so much I very nearly got DFTBA tattooed on my arm at 19. (I mean, I still might. Nothings off the table.)

Over the years I lost track of vlogbrothers for the most part with life being….life. Since all of the everything *gestures broadly at US dumpster fire* I’ve taken a lot of comfort in the vlogbrothers again. It’s given me a lot of comfort, just to see other people somewhere are going “Wtf?!” with me regarding so many things. John and Hank still talk about a lot of serious topics, in a funny and nuanced way that takes into account their adult audience as well as their young adult one. Also, it’s just nice to see others going about their life the best way they can during this craziness, same as me.

Thanks John and Hank, for being there for my teen and young adultyears and now, in my 30s. I grew up with you, and hope to keep doing so. I rate vlogbrothers 10/10.

“I’m so proud of you that it makes me proud of me. I hope you know that.”

— John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson

[nerdycheol]

A Seat Across from You

☘︎ pairings: choi seungcheol x reader [afab]

☘︎ warnings: strangers to lovers(?), fluff, a lots and lots of slowburn, reader is annoyingly dumb, miscommunication, too much running away & avoiding

☘︎ wc: 9.5k

(a/n): FOR YUKI'S 100 MILESTONE EVENT!! do check out everyone else's work too, they're all are amazing!! I had sm fun writing this. thankyou lexi (@ikeukiss ) for this amazinnggg banner <33 also thankyou to the ones who brainstormed ideas with me calli (@hhaechansmoless), yuki (@eclipsaria) daisy (@flowerwonu) ily'all smm :3 it was originally supposed to be this long, but i wanted to make it as natural as possible :| so forgive me and hope you like it ;) this is not proof read so ignore slight mistakes. tagging alaska (@cherry-zip) because i love them

playlist recommendation 🎵: traingazing-sam wills, sunny-rocco, from the start- laufey, dive- olivia dean, fool-kidsnot$aints, fall in love-jukjae, lily of the valley- daniel, l-o-v-e -rocco, hold me never let go- rocco

(inspired by traingazing- sam wills)

dividers by @cafekitsune

i’d love to hear your thoughts, i love reading your comments and seeing your reblogs! 💗

DAY 1

Morning comes the same way it always does — too soon, too cold, too reluctant to let you ease into it.

You woke up ten minutes late today. Not enough to send you into panic, but just enough to make the morning feel a bit rushed. Your sweater slightly mismatches your coat, but you tell yourself it’s fine. Your bag feels heavier than usual, though you can’t remember adding anything new to it.

The streets are damp from last night’s rain, and a few early risers move with purpose, clutching coffee cups like lifelines. You walk the familiar path to the station, following the same cracks in the pavement you always do.

The train is late today. Two minutes, maybe three. Enough to remind you that the world doesn’t run on your schedule.

When it finally arrives, you step in, immediately greeted by the usual low murmur of conversation, the shuffling of feet against the floor, the faint scent of someone’s too-strong cologne. You shift your bag higher on your shoulder, scanning the car for a spot, eyes moving without much thought.And that’s when you see him. He stands by the farthest door, one shoulder pressed against the glass, gaze turned outward.

You don’t know why you pause. Maybe it’s the way the early light spills across his face, casting faint shadows along the bridge of his nose and his sharp jawline. Or maybe it’s the way he seems entirely detached from the rush around him, earphones in, lost in something only he can hear.

He wears a brown high-neck sweater, the kind that looks soft even from a distance. One hand is tucked into his pocket, the other wrapped around the strap of a worn black backpack. His expression is unreadable—not bored, not impatient, just… distant.

You don’t think he notices you.

It’s silly, the way you keep looking. He’s just another passenger, someone you’ll probably never speak to, never know. But still, you watch him for a moment longer, as if memorizing this version of the morning before the spell breaks.

A man steps in front of you, shifting to adjust his briefcase. The moment lasts only a second, but when you glance back.

He’s gone.

You blink, scanning the space where he had been, but now, it’s empty.

For some reason, the thought lingers as the train lurches forward. You shake it off, exhaling softly. It’s nothing. Just another passing commuter, another stranger among many others.

As you grip the pole tightly, you wonder

Will he be here tomorrow?

DAY 2

The train doors slide open with a mechanical sigh, and you step in. Your usual spot is taken today by an older woman clutching a canvas tote, her head tilted forward in light sleep. So you move a little further down, fingers curling around the overhead rail.

And then you see him. You don’t mean to look, not really. But there he is again, standing in the exact same place as yesterday — leaning against the glass panel near the doors, hands tucked into the pockets of his coat. Today, a book rests in his grip, fingers idly turning a page as his gaze flickers across the words.

You wonder, briefly, if he ever misses his stop. If he ever gets so lost in thought that he forgets where he’s going.

The thought lingers for a second too long.

A jolt in the tracks sends the train swaying, and you glance away quickly, feeling oddly self-conscious. It’s nothing. Just another passenger in the sea of strangers.

And yet, when you step off at your stop, you catch yourself glancing back. Just once.

_

DAY 10

It’s been ten days since you first saw him. Ten mornings of stepping onto the same train, gripping the same pole, and watching him from the corner of your eye.

Every day, he’s there — leaning against the glass panel, the same sky-blue book in his hands, which makes you wonder if he ever really reads it. His hands are always in his pockets; sometimes, his gaze turns toward the window.

You don’t know when you start expecting to see him.

He’s just supposed to be another passenger, another face in the blur of morning commuters. But now… now, the moment you step onto the train, your eyes move without thinking, searching and waiting.

The next day comes like all the others. But lately, there’s one thing that makes the mornings feel less mundane. 

You find yourself on the platform, scanning the crowd before you even realize what you’re doing. Maybe you’ll never know his name, never exchange a single word, but that doesn’t stop your mind from conjuring a thousand possibilities, fleeting thoughts that leave you restless.

The train arrives with a familiar hum, and as you step inside, your eyes instinctively seek him out.

There he is.

Standing in his usual spot, clad in a high-neck sweater and loose-fitted trousers. But today, something is missing — his book.

Instead of reading, he simply watches the city blur past, his reflection faintly mirrored in the window. One hand is tucked into his pocket, the other grips the strap of a worn brown suitcase.

And then his head tilts slightly.

For a brief second, a flicker of something unfamiliar stirs in your chest.

Is he looking at you?

The thought unsettles you more than it should. Your fingers tighten around your phone as you glance away too quickly, pretending to check the screen. A silly reaction. He’s probably just lost in thought, staring past you like people often do.

Even as you tell yourself that, the feeling still lingers.

DAY 11

You’re not a superstitious person. You never believe what people say about black cats crossing your path bringing bad luck. On the contrary, you feel good things happen to you when you see a black cat.

And weirdly enough, the man on the train feels like your black cat. It’s not that he actually brings good luck. It’s just that your day seems a little better whenever you see him.

Today, you oversleep. Miss your alarm. Burn your toast. Everything feels five steps behind as you shove your shoes on and fly out the door, heart pounding at the thought of the impending scolding from your manager for being late.

You’re breathless. Disoriented. Out of rhythm.

The train is already at the platform by the time you arrive, and you squeeze in just before the doors seal shut.

But it’s okay, you think — as long as I see him.

And then, your gaze lifts instinctively.

He’s not there.

Your eyes dart across the carriage — once, twice, again. Nothing. Just faces you don’t recognize. None of them are him.

Your heart sinks, and it shouldn’t. You know it shouldn’t. People have lives. Schedules change. Trains get missed.

Still, you lean your head against the glass, suddenly aware of how loud everything feels in his absence. The usual quiet thrill has dulled.

You spend the ride staring out the window. Trying to mimic the way he does it. Trying to imagine what he sees in the blur of grey buildings and sleepy streets.

It doesn’t work.

You get off at your stop and walk a little slower.

Funny, how much space a stranger can take up in your head.

_

DAY 13

Today, you see him again. And somehow, that alone makes you feel like the day might not be so bad after all.

You can’t find a seat in the morning rush, so you claim a spot near the door, your shoulder resting against the cool glass panel.

Just like any other day, he enters.

Today, he’s in a dark blue satin shirt tucked neatly under a black trench coat. He takes his usual place across from you, setting his suitcase down by his foot before pulling out the same sky-blue book he reads every day.

You squint slightly to catch the title — Ikigai. You make a quiet mental note to buy it later.

The train halts at the next station, and a new wave of commuters pours in. The space tightens. You try to brace yourself, but the crowd pushes you forward.

Your shoulder bumps into someone — him.

You freeze, flustered, about to apologize when he looks up from his book.

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice deep and smooth like velvet.

You nod, maybe a little too quickly, mumbling a quiet thanks before turning your face away, hoping the heat on your cheeks isn’t too obvious.

And then he smiles. A perfect little curve that deepens into a dimple.

Oh man.

If you weren’t in deep before — you are now.

DAY 20

It takes a whole twenty days for him to finally notice you.

Like any other day, he enters the train and occupies his spot near the door. This time, you happen to be standing beside him. Like clockwork, he pulls out the book, slides the bookmark free, and holds it between two fingers; eyes moving smoothly over the pages.

The train screeches to an abrupt stop between stations, and the lights overhead flicker once before settling into a dim, humming glow.

Around you, the usual groans begin. A man sighs dramatically. Someone taps their foot like it might make the train move faster. The lady next to you mutters something under her breath about being late again.

The volume of your earphones must be louder than you think, because he looks at you and asks, “Laufey?”

You let out a sigh, glance at your watch to check the time, and look up instinctively because he’s here today too.

Just in time, his gaze lifts and finds yours. The corner of his mouth quirks up, and you can’t help it — you smile back.

Not entirely sure he’s talking to you, you pull out one earbud and mumble, “Sorry?”

He gives a little smile before repeating the question — and god, that damn smile will be the end of you.

You don’t put your earphones back in. Somehow, it feels rude now. Your gaze flickers around the coach, searching for something, anything to keep the conversation going.

“Ikigai! I’ve read it. It’s nice,” you blurt out, nodding toward the book in his hand.

“Really?” he says, sounding pleasantly surprised. “I haven’t met many people who really understand it. It’s nice to find someone who appreciates it. What part did you like the most?”

Idiot. Why would you say that? 

You haven’t even finished the book. You bought it on a whim, sure — but gave up halfway through because it was too dense for your brain to grasp at 10 p.m. on a work night.

“Uhh… the… the living part.”

What the hell does that even mean? Could you make a bigger fool of yourself?

“That’s… interesting,” he replies, polite but clearly unconvinced. You can feel the moment your credibility starts slipping away.

“I mean, I really like the concept behind it,” you add quickly, grasping at straws. “You know, the idea of ‘the happiness of always being busy’… things like that.”

You let out a nervous laugh, hoping it masks the rising panic. He’s still looking at you, curious. That unnerving kind of silence that feels like he’s trying to decide whether you’re genuinely insightful or completely full of it.

Just when you’re about to change the subject or fake a sudden phone call, he smiles again. A little smaller this time. Softer.

“That is a nice thought,” he says, his voice warm now. “I think that’s what I liked too.”

You blink. He’s letting you off the hook?

Relief floods through you, and you feel yourself relax just a little, your shoulders easing out of the tense shrug you didn’t even realize you were holding.

“You probably understood it better than I did, though,” you say with a sheepish grin.

“Maybe,” he says with a shrug, “but I haven’t finished it either.”

“You’re evil,” you mutter under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear.

You stare at him, stunned for a beat — then laugh.

Of course he hasn’t. Of course he let you sweat for a full minute before throwing you a lifeline.

He chuckles, and the sound settles somewhere low in your chest.

For the rest of the ride, you don’t put your earphones back in.

DAY 30

You finally get to know his name. Seungcheol.  It suits him, you think.

You’ve started greeting each other every time you meet. You don’t talk much, just small conversations here and there about your day, the weather, or whatever comes up.

At some point, you admit you gave up on Ikigai because it was a bit too complex for your “small brain,” as you put it. He laughs at that. Really laughs but ever since, he’s taken to explaining parts of the book to you whenever you meet.

And you can’t help but think… if you’d known him during your college years, you probably would’ve passed every exam with flying colors.

You find out that he works in finance and surprisingly, his office is near yours. The revelation makes you wonder why he never gets off at the same station as you, but you don’t ask.

Some things feel too delicate to question just yet.

One morning, you notice a small Captain America keychain dangling from the zipper of his suitcase — a new addition. Curious, you ask if he likes Marvel.

He laughs, shaking his head. “My nephew stuck it on and insisted I keep it. I haven’t really watched many of the movies.”

You gasp dramatically, loud enough that a few passengers turn to look. “You’ve never watched Marvel?!”

He winces, grinning. “Maybe one or two? I don’t remember much.”

From that moment on, your train rides take on a new rhythm. You start explaining the entire Marvel storyline, movie by movie, diving into characters and chaotic timelines, your hands animated and your eyes bright with excitement.

And Seungcheol? He listens. Really listens — eyes on you, smile tugging at the corners of his lips, occasionally asking questions or teasing you gently when your passion makes you trip over your own words.

_

DAY 40

Lately, Seungcheol starts getting off at the same station as you.

The first time it happens, you shoot him a curious glance, unsure if it’s just a coincidence. But when it happens again, and then again, you can’t help but ask.

“Sorry if it seems like I’m intruding, but… why didn’t you get off at the earlier station?” you ask, brows slightly raised.

Today, as the train slows to your stop, you notice he doesn’t move toward the doors like he usually does.

Instead, he waits beside you.

He catches your glance and smiles casually. “I used to get off early to grab coffee. Their brews were the best I’ve ever had.”

“So… no coffee today?”

He shrugs, hands tucked in his coat pockets. “I woke up early to get it before the train. That way, I could ride with you.”

Your heart thumps a little. Not enough to show on your face, but enough that you feel it in your throat.

You look away, trying to hide your smile.

“Ah… well,” you say lightly, “must be some really good coffee.”

“Second best part of my morning,” he replies without missing a beat.

DAY 46

Walks with Seungcheol are part of your routine now.

You used to drag yourself out of bed to start the day, but lately, you wake up on your own even before your alarm rings.

You learn he has a dog. Kkuma. A pretty little Coton de Tuléar with soft white fur and a habit of stealing the spotlight. He goes on evening runs with her every Sunday, and almost without fail, he sends you a picture afterward. Kkuma, dressed in a tiny hoodie or a frilly bow.

At some point, the two of you exchange numbers. It starts with simple texts — “I reached safely” and “See you tomorrow” — but quickly grows into something more.

Now, you text nearly every day, even though you see each other just as often.

And while Kkuma is adorable, you can’t help but zoom in just a little to catch a glimpse of the man holding the leash, his messy sunday hair. The hint of a smile he doesn’t realize he’s wearing.

__

It’s pouring today.

You’re already halfway to the subway when the first drops begin to fall. Too light to worry about, at least at first so you keep walking, brushing damp hair from your face as the drizzle picks up.

Seungcheol boards the train two stops after yours. And the moment he enters, his eyes scan the crowd searching until he sees you. Then he makes his way over.

You talk about your weekends — easy conversation, soft laughter. It makes the ride feel quicker than usual.

When you step out of the station, you realize you forgot to check the weather. The rain’s still coming down, steady and unrelenting. You don’t have an umbrella.

Seungcheol, like some savior from a drama scene, wordlessly opens his umbrella and holds it over your head. You offer to carry it, but he refuses. So you ask to hold his suitcase instead.

But a few steps later, he stops. With his right hand, he adjusts the umbrella and then with his left, gently pulls you closer, tucking you beneath the canopy again.

You walk side by side, shoulders brushing now and then.

After the third time, you shift slightly away, not wanting to invade his space.

Your arm brushes his.

“If you get sick,” he says, eyes forward, voice casual, “who am I supposed to go to work with?”

You don’t say anything, just look up at him and smile. But you don’t move away either.

DAY 50

You and Seungcheol start growing closer.

It isn’t just morning walks anymore. Sometimes, you stop by a café after work, sit across from each other with drinks in hand and talk about everything and nothing. You walk home together too, shoulders bumping every now and then, especially when the sidewalk narrows.

If one of you is running late, the other waits—no matter how crowded the station gets.

Even the metro rides become something you look forward to. You talk about dinner plans or what shows you’re binge-watching. Some days you just share a playlist, sitting in companionable silence as the train rocks gently beneath your feet.

The evenings are always busier than the mornings. Too crowded to sit together, too loud to talk. So you both end up standing on either side of the door, listening to the same song through your AirPods, synced through Bluetooth. It becomes a little ritual.

Still, you hate the space between you.

It’s silly. Just a few feet. But Seungcheol has this quiet warmth to him—like being near him makes the train feel less suffocating, the day a little lighter. And on the days when the coach is packed and you have to stand apart, you miss that.

Then, one day, you fish into your bag and pull out your wired earphones instead.

Seungcheol notices immediately. “What happened to the other ones?”

“Oh… um, they broke,” you say, not really looking at him.

He doesn’t ask anything else. Just smiles and reaches for one side of the wire, placing the left earbud in his ear while you take the right.

You stand side by side that day, close enough that your arms touch. Close enough to hear him hum under his breath. And when the train jolts forward suddenly, he reaches out instinctively to steady you—fingers curling briefly around your wrist before letting go.

Neither of you say anything about it. You just stand there, sharing music.

And somehow, the ride home feels shorter than ever.

That night, after dinner and a long shower, you flop onto your bed and reach for your phone.

No messages.

You stare at the screen for a moment before opening your playlist—the one you listened to with Seungcheol on the train.

You scroll down and tap on one song. The one that was playing when his fingers brushed yours.

You don’t think too much about it—you just send it to him. No caption. Just the link.

A few minutes later, your phone buzzes.

Seungcheol [11:47 PM] good taste also… I liked this part the best [audio snippet attached]

You play it. It’s the chorus.

Your phone buzzes again.

Seungcheol [11:48 PM] reminds me of train rides and someone hogging the right earbud 👀

You smile, cheeks warming.

You [9:49 PM] i offered to switch sides you’re the one with territorial issues

Another reply, instantly.

Seungcheol [9:49 PM] fine, next time I’ll hold the wire hostage

You laugh, phone resting against your chest.

DAY 69

You don’t expect to see Seungcheol on a Sunday.

Today is supposed to be all about the Han River. There’s a lantern festival happening, something your friends have been buzzing about for weeks. If it were up to you, you’d spend the entire Sunday curled up on your couch, binge-watching Friends for the third time this year.

But your friends are determined. They show up at your apartment in full force, barging in with iced coffee and snacks. Apparently, they don’t trust you not to cancel again.

And honestly? Fair enough.

Last year, you claimed you had “urgent office work.” The year before that, you said your grandmother was sick and needed to be taken care of. 

(Sorry, Grandma. You’re doing great. I love you.)

So here you are dressed, dragged out, and mentally preparing yourself to be social for the next few hours.

Your group decides to head to the river early to avoid the crowds and grab lanterns before they sell out. After a long walk under the sun, everyone is tired and hungry, so you volunteer to run to the convenience store and grab some ramen.

What you don’t expect is to bump into Seungcheol doing the exact same thing.

And judging by the surprised look on his face, he doesn’t expect to see you either.

He lifts a hand in a small wave, his voice matching it in volume. “Hey.”

You open your mouth to respond, but before you can, Jihyo appears at your side, arms full with four cans of beer.

“Oh, hello,” she says, giving Seungcheol a polite nod before turning to you. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, we go to work to—”

But Seungcheol doesn’t get the chance to finish.

“You go to work with someone?!” Jihyo gasps dramatically. “Wow, didn’t think you had friends outside of us.”

Before you can react, a blond-haired man strolls up to Seungcheol’s side.

“Cheol, there’s no space outside.”

“Then we’ll just sit here—” Seungcheol begins, but Jihyo is faster.

“You guys can join us!”

“Oh, that would be lovely,” the blond man grins. “Sitting with pretty ladies and eating good food? Count me in.”

“Jeonghan—” Seungcheol starts, but again, Jihyo cuts him off.

“This is going to be so fun!”

Just like that, she walks off with Jeonghan, chatting like they’ve known each other for years. You can’t help but envy her a little, for how effortlessly she talks to new people.

That leaves you and Seungcheol standing alone, both a little thrown off but smiling anyway.

You exchange a glance, share a quiet smile, then follow after the two of them, side by side.

By the time you all finish eating, the sun has dipped low in the sky. The festival is about to begin—lanterns being unpacked, children running around with glowing sticks, couples picking spots near the river.

You and Seungcheol haven’t talked much since the ramen store encounter. Not because anything is wrong, but because suddenly, things feel… different.

Awkward in a new way.

Even though you’ve known him for a while now, even though you’ve shared coffee, playlists, and half your mornings—something about seeing him here, outside your usual rhythm, throws you off.

You keep catching each other’s eyes and looking away just as quickly, only to glance back a moment later. Each time your eyes meet, he gives you a small smile. You return it, cheeks warm.

The boys couldn’t buy the lanterns because all sold out early, so you decided to share yours.

The six of you split into groups to light and lift the lanterns—Jihyo and Nayeon pair up, Jeonghan and Joshua team together, and that, of course, leaves you and Seungcheol.

You sit on the grass with the lantern between you, a set of markers in hand.

“Should I draw something meaningful or just… stars?” you ask, uncapping a pen.

“Stars are meaningful,” Seungcheol says, kneeling beside you.

You smile and begin sketching— tiny stars, a moon, a little ramen bowl in the corner for fun. Seungcheol adds a small Kkuma doodle near the bottom. Your hands brush once. Neither of you moves away.

When it’s finally time to lift the lantern, you both stand, holding it gently between you. Around you, dozens of lanterns floating into the sky, glowing orange and soft against the inky blue.

“Ready?” he asks, glancing at you not at the lantern.

You nod. “One, two, three…”

You let go.

And for a second, your gaze follows the lantern.

But his stays on you.

The sky is dark and clear, making every light stand out sharply. Lanterns float up one by one, glowing softly in warm shades of orange and gold. They move slowly, carried by the breeze, flickering light. The river below mirrors them perfectly, like the sky has dipped down to meet the water. It’s calm, almost still, just the soft rustle of grass and the low hum of people watching in silence.

The sky sparkles above you, but you feel the warmth of his eyes more than the lantern lights.

_

Later that night, back home, your phone buzzed with a message from Jihyo.

It was a photo.

You and Seungcheol standing shoulder to shoulder, watching the lantern rise. The light from the flame illuminated your faces, casting a glow that made the photo look straight out of the Tangled movie.

Then another message follows.

Jihyo [11:59 pm]  you & your lover boy 💗

You roll your eyes, already typing a response.

You [typing…] “it’s not like that—”

Before you could even hit send, another message pops up.

Jihyo [12:00 am]  “and don’t even try to say no. i’ve seen the way you look at each other.”

You stare at the screen, speechless.

Because, maybe you don’t really want to deny it.

DAY 70

Jihyo’s words stay with you the whole night. You keep reaching for your phone, opening it just to stare at that photo again. You don’t see it, the so-called look Seungcheol is giving you—not the way Jihyo describes it.

Still, it’s enough to keep you tossing and turning, caught between curiosity and denial.

When you wake up, there are faint dark circles under your eyes. You even stare at yourself in the mirror, wondering if it’s actually possible to get dark circles overnight.

You start your day later than usual. Not because you oversleep. No, you’ve been awake for a while—but because you’ve been trying to avoid Seungcheol. You time your routine to reach the station half an hour late, thinking—no, hoping he’s already gone.

You aren’t ready to face him. Not after everything in your head starts sounding like Jihyo’s voice.

But of course, life has other plans.

Seungcheol is still there—standing on the platform, eyes scanning the crowd like a puppy trying to find its owner. And when he finally spots you, his face lights up instantly. He waves too eagerly, too wide and jogs over to meet you.

“Oh! Seungcheol,” you say, caught off guard.

“Hey!” he grins. “I was this close to calling you.”

“Why didn’t you go?” you ask. “Won’t you be late?”

“It’s fine,” he shrugs. “Just a few minutes.”

“Seungcheol. I was thirty minutes late. That’s not just a few minutes.”

He smiles, almost like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“I wanted to go with you.”

And just like that—your heart does that stupid thing again. The thing where it thumps in your chest a little too loudly, like it’s trying to remind you you’re not as unaffected as you pretend to be.

You look away, down at your shoes, anywhere but at him.

Because Jihyo might’ve been wrong about the look. But you aren’t so sure about yours.

_

When it’s time to get off work, you make some excuse that you have to stay over longer because of some pending work and ask him to not wait for you.

To which he replies with a pout emoji and an ‘okay’ with it.

DAY 74

Over the next few days, you try to avoid him—subtly. At least, you think it’s subtle. But apparently, you aren’t as discreet as you’d hoped. Because on the third day, Seungcheol texts you, asking if you are avoiding him, if anything is wrong, or if he did something wrong.

You stare at the message for a long time, guilt creeping in.

You don’t mean to hurt him. Truly, you don’t. But the space helps. You need those few days to gather your thoughts, to figure out what’s going on inside your own head.

And somewhere in that quiet, you realize something.

You might actually like Seungcheol.

Not just the morning walks or the shared playlists or his little smile when your eyes meet. Him.

And now, all you can do is hope—really hope that Jihyo has been right all along about the way he looks at you.

So you decide not to avoid him anymore. And also maybe try to come clean about your feelings.

_

DAY 75

You wear your pink skirt and a white off-shoulder top today—the one Jihyo swears makes you look like an angel. You wake up extra early, wanting to take your time getting ready. Something different from your usual pencil skirt and tucked-in blouse. A little blush, soft liner, your favorite lip tint. Nothing too dramatic, but just enough to make you feel… pretty.

Because today, you decide. You are going to confess to Seungcheol.

You are nervous, no doubt about that. But mixed in with the nerves is something else—something bright and fluttery. A little thrill at the thought that this could be the day everything changes.

It feels like either the last day you’ll see Seungcheol as just a friend… or the last time you’ll ever see him.

When you reach the station, he’s already there. He hasn’t noticed you yet, which gives you a quiet moment to take him in.

He looks good. Too good for a regular weekday.

A crisp black shirt tucked into slate grey pants, sleeves rolled up just enough to show his forearms. His hair is slightly messy, like he’s been running his fingers through it while waiting. He has one hand in his pocket and the other holding a coffee, eyes scanning the platform casually.

You walk over and gently tap his shoulder.

He turns, smiling. “Hi—”

Then his eyes widen slightly, his smile freezing for a second before softening into something warmer.

“Woah… you look amazing. Is there any occasion today?” he asks. “Wait, is it your birthday?”

You shake your head, shy. “No. I just… felt like wearing this.”

He tilts his head slightly, still smiling. “Well, you look really pretty.”

You mutter a quiet thank you, cheeks already heating up. Before you can say anything more, the train arrives, pulling into the platform with a gust of wind and that familiar screech of brakes. You both step in together, falling into your usual routine—music, small talk, the shared comfort of standing close.

Later, as you walk out of the station toward your offices, Seungcheol glances over.

“Hey… would you mind coming with me somewhere after work?” he asks.

“Where?” you ask, surprised.

“I need to buy a gift. For someone.”

You blink. Is he buying something for you? But that doesn’t make sense. Why would he take you along to pick your own gift?

Still, you nod. “Sure.”

—

You manage to finish your work quickly and leave the office earlier than usual. Outside, leaning casually against the building wall, is Seungcheol—head tilted down, focused on his phone.

He looks effortlessly handsome. Same shirt from the morning, sleeves pushed up a little higher now, hair ruffled even more from the long day. He glances up as you walk over.

“Hey,” you greet, and he slides his phone into his pocket.

“Hey,” he replies, smiling like he’s been waiting for you.

You fall into step beside him, the two of you making your way to wherever this little errand of his will lead.

The shop is located on the corner of an alleyway. No wonder you’ve never seen it before. Inside, it’s small but cozy, filled with shelves lined with candles, handmade accessories, tiny notebooks, and other gift-y things that feel both thoughtful and random. Seungcheol walks ahead, scanning the displays carefully. You trail behind, heart beating just a little too fast.

He eventually makes his way to the counter and leans in slightly, speaking to the worker.

“Do you know what would be a good gift for a lady?” he asks, voice polite.

The worker looks up. “What age range are we talking about?”

“Around 25?” he replies casually.

You don’t wait to hear the rest.

You quickly turn away and wander to the far end of the shop, pretending to browse a shelf of overpriced bookmarks.

Your stomach drops.

Of course he’s taken. Why wouldn’t he be?

You feel like an idiot. A man this kind, this funny, this good-looking—how could he possibly be single? You scold yourself internally for even letting the idea of confessing take root.

You don’t know what you feel more—embarrassed that you almost made a move, or heartbroken that he’s already someone else’s.

Maybe you should be grateful. At least you haven’t actually said anything. You can still keep the friendship. Things can stay the same.

Right?

Even if all you want right now is to go home, bury yourself in a blanket, and scream into your pillow.

DAY 87

You start avoiding Seungcheol again. This time, it isn’t subtle.

You don’t reply to his texts. When he messages asking, “Are you avoiding me again?”, all you can bring yourself to respond is a simple, “I’m sick.”

Technically not a lie. Just… not the whole truth.

You begin leaving for work fifteen minutes earlier than usual, hoping to slip away before he even reaches the station. On top of that, you start taking the women’s coach—just in case he happens to come early too.

It is ridiculous, you know that. But the thought of seeing him, knowing what you know—or rather, what you think you know is too much. You don’t trust yourself to act normal, and you don’t want him to see through you.

So you do the only thing you can think of. You disappear from his mornings. Even if it breaks your heart to do it.

—

But what you don’t expect is to walk through the door and see him there.

You decide you hate Jihyo.

She texts you earlier saying she and Nayeon are going out for drinks with some people, and asks if you want to come. You have been a mess for days—mopey, overthinking—so you figure, why not? A night out might help. Distraction can’t hurt.

You freeze just a few steps inside the bar, hand flying out to grab Jihyo by the wrist.

“What are they doing here?” you hiss, nodding toward the trio of familiar men at the bar counter—Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua, laughing over drinks like they have no idea they are ruining your life.

“Oh, I invited them,” Jihyo says with a shrug, like she just asked them over for coffee.

Your jaw drops. “How? How did you even get their numbers?”

“I exchanged numbers with Jeonghan the other day,” she says simply, brushing past your panic like it is nothing. And before you can protest, she is already walking over to greet them smiling, waving, completely unbothered.

You don’t have the energy to chase after her.

The rest of the night is a blur of noise and lights and everything-you-wanted-to-avoid crashing into you all at once. Seungcheol tries to talk to you more than once, always gentle, always a little concerned, but you keep brushing him off, pretending you don’t hear, pretending someone has called your name.

You laugh louder than necessary, drink more than you should’ve, and cling to Nayeon’s arm like it is a lifeline.

By the time it’s time to leave, you can barely stand without holding onto something or someone.

And when the drinks start to hit, you get drunk. Properly drunk.

Because maybe if your head is fuzzy enough, you’d stop remembering the way he looks at you in that photo or the way he looks at you right now.

Your head feels heavy, and your voice comes out slower than usual. Jihyo and Nayeon aren’t much better off. They giggle as they sling their arms around each other, tipsy and carefree. The problem is—they live in the same direction. You don’t.

Even in your dazed state, you can vaguely make out Seungcheol speaking to Jihyo.

“I’ll drop her home,” he says, voice calm and firm.

“YOU’RE THE BEST—thank you!” Jihyo shouts, completely unhelpful, before stumbling away with Nayeon, leaving you behind.

You stare at Seungcheol, swaying slightly, hugging your bag tightly to your chest like it is some kind of shield. He walks ahead, opens the passenger door to his car, and turns back to you with a tired sigh.

“Can you please get in?”

You blink at him. He raises an eyebrow. You don’t move.

“I’m not kidnapping you,” he adds dryly. “Just trying to make sure you get home in one piece.”

You hesitate for another beat before finally moving, sliding into the passenger seat with a clumsy thump. He closes the door behind you and circles around to the driver’s side.

“Can you put your address in the GPS?” he asks once he is settled.

You fumble with your phone, hands still trembling a bit. Eventually, you manage to type it in and pass it to him.

The car pulls out onto the main road, and for a while, there is only the hum of the engine and the soft sound of the air conditioning.

Then he rolls the window down a little.

The cool night air hits your face, it helps for a moment. You close your eyes, breathing in deep. The nausea settles just a bit, and your thoughts start to line up again, one by one.

Still a mess, still confused. But slowly sobering up.

You ask him to drop you off a little farther from your house—somewhere down the road, away from your actual address.

But, of course, Seungcheol doesn’t listen.

He stops the car right at the bottom of the slope that leads up to your place, shifts into park, and turns to you.

“Stay here,” he says gently, before getting out of the car.

You blink, confused, until you see him circle around and open your door for you. He holds out his hand.

You hesitate, but your legs aren’t steady enough to argue. You let him help you out, his hand warm around yours. He doesn’t let go even as you both start walking up the quiet slope together.

The silence between you stretches for a few minutes, just the sound of your shoes on the pavement and distant insects chirping in the dark. You aren’t sure if it is the alcohol still in your system or the storm in your chest, but eventually, you break the silence.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” you ask.

He glances at you, eyebrows pulling together slightly. “What do you mean?”

You exhale slowly, avoiding his eyes. “You know it’s not exactly gentlemanly to lead on a lady when you’re already in a relationship.”

He stops walking.

“…What relationship?” he asks, voice cautious.

You keep your eyes forward. “The bag you bought the other day—it was for her, right? Your girlfriend.”

He says your name softly. Then again, firmer. “Look at me.”

You do. Slowly.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he says. “In fact… there’s someone I like.”

Your heart sinks anyway. Just hearing those words “someone I like” even if it isn’t someone he is with, it still isn’t you.

You look away. “Then go tell her. Why waste all this time on someone who you won’t like back?”

Your voice drops to a mumble at the end, but he still hears it.

He squeezes your hand, just enough to make you look at him again.

“You’re the one I like”, he says.

You don’t know if it is the alcohol or the months of slow-burn tension finally snapping but you lean in.

“No,” he holds you back by your shoulders. “Not like this. Not when you’re drunk. Not when you might not remember.”

Your lips part in protest, but nothing comes out. Your face crumples instead, and without another word, you turn around and start walking ahead.

“Just go,” you mutter. “I’m fine. You don’t have to follow me.”

He doesn’t argue. Doesn’t call out to stop you. But he doesn’t leave either.

He stays parked at the bottom of the slope. Watches you unlock your door. Waits until you step inside. Stays there until the lights in your house turn off.

You don’t know what exactly you’ve done.

But one thing you are sure of. The ghost of tonight is going to haunt you tomorrow.

DAY 90

You were right.

You don’t remember everything that happened last night. Bits and pieces come to you in flashes—your head pounds every time you try to force the memory. You vaguely recall leaving the bar, Seungcheol’s car, walking up the slope...

The more you try to piece it together, the worse your headache gets.

You pop some ibuprofen, hoping it will dull both the physical ache and the mental chaos. It doesn’t do much, but it helps just enough to drag yourself out of bed and into work clothes.

When you finally make it to the station, still feeling like your brain has been put through a blender, you spot him.

Standing exactly where he always does—except now, just the sight of him sends your stomach into a spiral.

You freeze in place.

Few memories flash by. You remember asking about the gift. You remember accusing him of leading you on.

Oh no.

Oh god.

Did you try to kiss him?

Before you can figure out how to vanish into thin air, Seungcheol is already walking toward you. Calm. Collected. Way too composed for someone who might’ve been kissed by a drunk mess.

He reaches into his pocket and holds out a hangover medicine to you.

You blink. Then take it with a quiet, “Thanks.”

“About yesterday…” he starts.

Panic flares.

“Nope,” you blurt. “I mean—OH LOOK! The train’s here, let’s go!”

You practically speed-walk past him and into the nearest compartment like your shoes are on fire.

The entire train ride, you keep a very safe three-foot distance between you and Seungcheol, standing awkwardly near the door like you don’t even know him. You avoid eye contact like it is your job. If someone had drawn a chalk line around you, it would’ve been labeled “emotional damage containment zone.”

You have no idea what to say or what he wants to say. But whatever it is… you aren’t ready.

_

DAY 94

You had, against all odds, successfully dodged the talk with Seungcheol. And honestly? You were kind of proud of yourself.

Sure, it wasn’t the most mature move, but avoiding awkward emotional conversations? You were practically a professional at this point.

Not that he made it easy.

He still waited at the station for you, even though you started leaving earlier than usual in the hopes of missing him. On the train, you avoided any and all eye contact like your life depended on it. And despite that, when evening rolled around, you’d still find him waiting outside your office building, casually leaned against the wall like he hadn’t been ghosted for a week straight.

You’d just mumble something about needing to finish up emails and hide behind your monitor.

Even your coworkers had caught on.

“Your handsome man is downstairs again,” one of them would say with a teasing grin.

“You shouldn’t keep a man that fine waiting. It’s rude,” another would chime in.

But today… Seungcheol clearly decided enough was enough.

As you walk out together after work, the sun just starts to dip low in the sky. He glances sideways at you and asks casually, “Do you like cafes or parks better?”

You blink. “Huh?”

“The vibe, I mean. Like if you had to pick. Cafes or parks?”

You furrow your brows, confused but grateful he isn’t bringing up that night.

What you didn’t realize, of course, is that he wasn’t just making small talk—he is trying to figure out where you’d feel more comfortable. Where you’d feel safe enough to finally talk.

Which, honestly? Is kind of really sweet.

The park is quiet this time of day—just a few people jogging, some kids chasing each other near the fountain, the sky turning that soft, cotton-candy shade of evening.

You aren’t sure how you got here, really. One second you’re walking with Seungcheol, and the next he is leading you toward a bench under a big tree, acting like this is just another casual detour.

Except… you know it isn’t.

You sit beside him, not too close, not too far. Your hands rest in your lap, picking at your sleeves. You can feel your heart beating in your throat.

Seungcheol doesn’t speak for a while. He just sits there, hands resting loosely on his knees.

“I thought you were mad at me,” he finally says.

You keep your gaze ahead. “I wasn’t.”

“You avoided me like I had the plague.”

You let out a breath—part laugh, part guilt. “I panicked.”

“Why?”

You hesitate. “Because I remembered bits and pieces from that night. I thought maybe I said or did something I shouldn’t have.”

There is a small pause.

“You didn’t,” he says. “Nothing weird happened. Except maybe how fast you ran off afterward.”

You smile despite yourself. “I was embarrassed.”

“Why?”

You glance at him, then look back at your hands. “Because I started overthinking things. You were just being nice, and I made it weird.”

He is quiet again for a moment. “I wasn’t just being nice.”

That makes your heart skip a little, but he doesn’t press it.

Instead, he nudges your foot lightly with his. “Anyway, I just didn’t want it to be awkward.”

You nod. “Yeah… me neither.”

“Cool,” he says, leaning back slightly. “So… we good?”

You look at him, and something about the way he is watching you makes you feel lighter.

“Yeah,” you say. “We’re good.”

The conversation shifts to safer topics after that. You stay on that bench for a while longer, talking about random things—the weird subway ad you both hate, the café with terrible coffee he swears he only likes for the muffins.

And just before you leave, he glances at you and says, casual as ever, “Hey… let’s hang out next week. Like, properly.”

You blink. “Like… outside the train?”

It isn’t like you haven’t seen him outside other times, but this time it might be just you two. You and him.

DAY 99

The days passed quicker than you imagined.

You and Seungcheol still took the train to work together every day, but somewhere along the way, those commutes turned into something more. You started stopping by cafés on the way. Tried out that dinner place that had been all over your feed. Even ended up at an arcade once—half-tipsy from drinks at a pojangmacha tucked into the corner of some quiet street, laughing so hard you nearly cried when he lost to you in a dance battle.

Today, you stood on either side of a fogged-up train door.

Absentmindedly, you doodled a tiny smiley face on the glass with your finger. When you looked up, you caught Seungcheol doing the same—drawing a tiny heart just beside your smiley.

You didn’t say anything. Just smiled to yourself the rest of the way home.

Later that night, as you were drying your hair after a shower, your phone buzzed.

Seungcheol [9:13 PM]      hey!! can we meet tomorrow?

You blink. Sit down on your bed and quickly type back:

You [9:13 PM] (indented) sure!! where tho??

It takes him a minute to reply.

Seungcheol [9:14 PM] (indented) there’s this garden café near dongmyo… it’s quiet and pretty at night. 7pm?

You bite your lip, smiling at your screen like an idiot.

You [9:17 PM]     sure 😊😙 see you then!

DAY 100

You are nervous as hell. You are sitting on one of the corner seats at the café, fiddling with your hair, smoothing down your skirt, rubbing your hands against your thighs like it will somehow calm your heartbeat.

Now you sit in that café, trying not to look at your phone every five seconds. He isn’t late. You are just early. Painfully, ridiculously early.

You dress up more than usual today—okay, a lot more.

A sheer, light mocha-brown ruched blouse with soft, billowy chiffon sleeves and a deep V neckline. A high-waisted, dark chocolate brown maxi skirt with a gentle drape and ruched detailing at the hip. You even do a winged eyeliner—after three failed attempts. You check the mirror at least ten times before finally forcing yourself out of the house.

Five minutes pass.

Then the bell over the café door chimes, and you instinctively look up.

There he is.

Seungcheol walks in, dressed in a warm chocolate-brown crew neck sweater and cream-colored corduroy pants. His hair bounces slightly as he moves, and somehow, he looks even better than you remember—soft and put-together and annoyingly, heart-flutteringly handsome.

You stand up as he reaches the table, and he gives you a breathless smile, holding out a small bouquet—white lisianthus and garden roses, sprinkled with baby’s breath.

“You’re early,” he says, just a little out of breath, eyes scanning your face and outfit in a way that makes your skin buzz.

You nod, shy, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “So are you.”

He chuckles softly. “Guess we’re both a little eager, huh?”

And just like that, the nervous weight in your chest lightens, bit by bit.

Dinner is perfect.

Seungcheol insists you try everything. Every time you so much as glance at something on the menu, he tells the waiter, “We’ll have that too.” Your table is overflowing with plates by the time the mains arrive, and you lose count of how many times he leans forward to ask if you are full, if you like it, if the dessert is too sweet.

He keeps spacing out mid-sentence, staring at you with this dazed, boyish look before shaking his head and mumbling, “Sorry, what were we talking about again?”

You tease him for being distracted. He claims it is the lighting that makes him space out. You know it isn’t.

And even though he laughs and looks like he has everything together, you notice the way he fidgets with the hem of his sleeve when he thinks you aren’t looking. How he checks his phone screen just to lock it again.

After dinner, the two of you step out onto the quiet street.

The rush has died down. The air has cooled just enough to make you pull your cardigan tighter. Street lamps cast soft glows on the pavement, and the sounds of the city fade to a distant hum—just footsteps, laughter from across the block, and the occasional car passing by.

You walk side by side. Close, but not touching.

Until he stops walking.

You turn to him. “Cheol?”

He looks nervous. Palms in his pockets, shoulders drawn in slightly, eyes fixed on the road like he is rehearsing something in his head.

Then he looks at you.

“I know this is random,” he starts. “Well—not random, but kind of sudden? Or maybe not. I mean, it’s been a hundred days. That’s a lot. But also not enough, I guess, to say something like this—but it also feels like it is.”

You blink. He isn’t making much sense.

Seungcheol takes a breath and scratches the back of his neck.

“What I’m trying to say is…” He looks at you, really looks at you. “I like you. Like—really like you. More than a ‘train friend’ or a ‘text you memes at 11PM’ kind of way. I think I’ve liked you for a while now, and I kept waiting for the right time, and then today just feels like it. Because it’s special, right? A hundred days. And I—”

“Seungcheol.”

He keeps going. “—I mean, I didn’t want to make it weird, and maybe this is weird, and I’m talking too much—”

You step forward and wrap your arms around him.

He freezes. Then melts. His hands hover for a second before resting gently on your back, holding you like he doesn’t quite believe you are real.

You pull back just enough to meet his eyes. “I like you too.”

It is quiet for a moment. His eyes search yours like he is waiting for you to take it back, like he has to double-check that he heard you right.

You smile. “I was kind of hoping you’d say something.”

A quiet relieved laugh slips from him.

Then, softer, “Can I kiss you?”

You nod.

Seungcheol steps in close, one hand resting lightly on your waist, the other hovering just beside your cheek like he is scared to touch you too fast. His gaze flicks from your eyes to your lips and back again, as if he is memorizing you right here, under the soft yellow glow of the streetlamp.

His fingers finally brush your jaw, a soft touch, careful—like you are something delicate. Your heart thuds in your chest, loud enough you’re sure he can hear it.

Then, slowly, finally, he kisses you.

His lips are warm, soft, hesitant at first—testing the waters, afraid to mess it up. You tilt your head and lean in, and that’s all the reassurance he needs. His hand slides to the small of your back, pulling you a little closer, and he kisses you again—this time deeper, more certain.

There is just the feel of his lips on yours, the quiet rhythm of his breath, the faint scent of his cologne—something warm and woodsy that makes your knees go weak.

When he pulls back, just enough to rest his forehead against yours, neither of you say a word. Not yet.

The night is quiet around you, just the hum of distant traffic, the glow of streetlamps, and the soft sound of your breaths mingling in the small space between you.

He finally speaks, voice low, like he doesn’t want to break whatever this is.

“Do you know what today is?”

You smile. “A hundred days.”

He nods. “A hundred days of you. Of seeing you on the train. Of wanting to say more, stay longer.”

You blink up at him, heart full.

“I want more,” he says, thumb brushing your cheek. “Not just another hundred. I want all of them. Every day.”

You lean in, kiss him one more time.

And as you stand there, in the middle of a quiet street with the man who used to be just a stranger on the train. You think the next morning, the train will still come.

And this time, you’ll be boarding it—hand in hand.

BONUS - SEUNGCHEOL’S POV (DAY 1)

The train pulls in, slowing with that familiar screech of metal. Seungcheol leans against the glass panel, one hand in his pocket, headphones in, watching people come and go.

Then she steps on.

He doesn’t recognize her — she’s new, at least to him. She looks around for a moment; the seats, the windows, the slow-moving scenery outside. There’s no rush in her expression, just quiet observation.

She finds a spot across from him, steadying herself on the rail as the train lurches forward. For a while, she just watches the buildings go by, eyes calm, thoughtful.

Then she pulls out her phone, scrolling through something, expression soft and unreadable.

He looks away, pretending to focus on the song playing through his headphones. But it’s hard not to notice her — how she stands a bit straighter than everyone else, how she seems almost peaceful even with the crowd pressing around her.

She doesn’t look at him. Not once. Or so he thinks.

Still, he catches himself checking.

And then the train keeps moving, same as always.

He hopes to see her tomorrow too.

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[delilahsturniolo]

— 𝜗ৎ l’amour de ma vie . . . c.s

in which . . . you doubt your childhood rival chris is good in bed, and he proves you wrong quickly

warnings . . . smut, unprotected sex, masturbation, arguing, kissing, clit play, oral, (fem!recieving) dirty talk, multiple orgasms.

written by @delilahsturniolo. do not copy, steal, or modify my works. if you are taking any inspiration from this, please ask me first before posting and credit me in your description. happy reading! :)

HIT ME HARD AND SOFT WRITING MARATHON . . . fic #7

you and chris have been at each other's throats for as long as you can remember. the rivalry between you two is palpable, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. every interaction is filled with snarky comments and biting remarks, each of you trying to one-up the other.

one particularly heated argument turns towards the topic of sex. "i bet you're terrible in bed," you sneer, your eyes narrowed at chris. "you probably couldn't even make a girl come if you tried." chris smirks, a dangerous glint in his eye. "oh really? care to put that theory to the test?"

you scoff, rolling your eyes. "as if i'd ever let you touch me." but your body betrays you, heat pooling low in your belly at the thought of chris' hands on your skin. you ignore it, turning away from him with a dismissive wave of your hand.

later that night, you're lying in bed, trying to sleep. but your mind keeps wandering back to chris, to the challenge in his eyes when he offered to prove you wrong. before you can stop yourself, your hand slips beneath the waistband of your pants, seeking out your clit.

you imagine it's chris touching you, his fingers circling your sensitive nub. you let out a soft moan, your hips rocking against your hand. in your mind, chris is kissing his way down your body, his lips hot against your skin.

just as you're about to reach your peak, a knock sounds at your door. you freeze, your heart pounding in your chest. who could be at your door this late at night? you quickly remove your hand from your pants and sit up, pulling the covers up to your chin.

the knock sounds again, more urgent this time. with a shaky breath, you slip out of bed and pad over to the door. you press your eye to the peephole and gasp. chris stands on the other side, his eyes dark with lust.

you open the door, your heart in your throat. "what are you doing here?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. chris doesn't answer. instead, he steps inside, crowding you against the wall. "i was thinkin’ bout what you said earlier…" he growls, his hands gripping your hips. "i'm going to prove you wrong…make you cum so hard you'll be begging me for more…we both know you want it.”

he’s right, you do, more than anything. although you were supposed to hate chris, you couldn’t help but find him attractive. before you can respond, his lips are on yours, hot and demanding. you melt into the kiss, your arms winding around his neck. chris backs you towards the bed, his hands roaming your body. he grips the hem of your shirt and pulls it over your head, exposing your bare chest to his hungry gaze.

"fuck," he mutters, his eyes darkening as they take in your naked flesh. "you're so fucking sexy." he lowers his head, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth. you cry out, your fingers tangling in his hair. chris moves to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment. by the time he pulls back, you're panting, your pussy throbbing with need.

chris pushes you back onto the bed, making quick work of removing your pants and underwear. he settles between your legs, his hot breath ghosting over your clit. "lemme know if this feels ‘terrible’" he mocks your words from earlier, his voice low and rough.

but gosh it felt anything but terrible, chris buries his face in your pussy, his tongue lapping at your clit. you moan loudly, your hips bucking against his face. chris grips your thighs, holding you in place as he feasts on you. it doesn't take long for you to reach your peak, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave.

"chris!" you scream, your fingers fisting in his hair. "oh fuck, chris!" chris continues to lick you through your orgasm, prolonging your pleasure. only when you've come down from your high does he pull back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "see?" he smirks, his eyes glinting with satisfaction. "i told you i could make you cum."

you glare at him, but there's no real heat behind it. "shut up and fuck me," you demand, reaching for him. chris chuckles, climbing up your body. he kisses you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his lips. you moan into the kiss, your legs winding around his waist. chris reaches between your bodies, gripping his cock and lining it up with your entrance.

with one hard thrust, he buries himself inside you. you cry out, your nails digging into his back. chris stills, giving you a moment to adjust to his size. "you feel so fucking good," he groans, his forehead pressed against yours. "so tight and hot." he starts to move, his hips snapping against yours. you meet him thrust for thrust, your moans filling the room. chris fucks you hard and deep, hitting your g-spot with every stroke. it's not long before you feel another orgasm building. "i'm gonna cum," you whimper, your head thrown back. "oh fuck, chris, i'm gonna cum!!”

"cum for me," chris growls, his hips pistoning against yours. "cum all over my cock." his words send you flying over the edge. you come with a scream, your pussy clenching around his cock. chris follows soon after, his hips stuttering against yours as he fills you with his cum.

he collapses on top of you, both of you panting heavily. after a moment, chris rolls off of you, pulling you into his arms. "admit it," he murmurs, his lips pressed against your temple. "i was right. i made you feel good." you roll your eyes, but a smile tugs at your lips. "fine," you grumble. "you were right. you're amazing in bed." chris smirks, his eyes glinting with satisfaction. "i told you so." turns out he wasn’t as mediocre as you thought

© delilahsturniolo

💌: someone please convince me this is good :(

[liuhsng]

─────⋆˚࿔ ⋆ eyes on me ( lhs ! ) — part 1

✩ˎˊ˗ enhypen masterlist

⤷ pairing — heeseung x fem!reader

⤷ part 1 | part 2 ⤷ word count — 13.7k ⤷ based on this and this by my lovely anons ⤷ permanent taglist — open !

⤷ a/n — as promised, here it is, i fear this might be one of my best works yet… and definitely the longest. part 2? i’m already writing it as we speak. the last fight between heeseung and the reader was heavily inspired by moonstruck (iykyk), and i really poured so much into this one. enjoy reading, loves—i hope it hits all the right places in your heart 🤍

⤷ warnings — idol au, idol!heeseung, dancer!reader, slowburn, enemies to lovers trope-ish, emotionally awkward heeseung, emotionally constipated reader, cold!reader, loser!heeseung, whipped!heeseung, heeseung’s down bad, reader does not care that he’s famous, miscommunication (so much miscommunication), hurt/comfort undertones, fluff (eventually), heavy angst

✩ˎˊ˗ summary — as a rising dance prodigy, you're no stranger to idols—you’ve trained with them, performed behind them, and watched some fall from grace when the spotlight turned harsh. so when you’re cast as one of the dancers for enhypen’s newest comeback, you already know what to expect: long nights, hard work, and an idol or two trying to get in your pants. lee heeseung, you decide, is exactly that kind. smiles too easily. stares too long. he sees you once and falls all at once—messy, quiet, and stupidly soft. or, where you think he’s everything you should avoid, and he thinks you’re everything he’ll never deserve—but still wants anyway.

You were panting, chest heaving, sweat trailing down your temple as you leaned against the mirror—fingertips grazing the cold glass to keep your balance.

The song you’d been replaying for nearly an hour echoed faintly from the speaker still running in the corner of the room, but you’d long tuned it out. The only thing you could really hear now was your heartbeat and the silence that always came after giving everything.

It wasn’t even your scheduled session.

Not really.

With Le Sserafim on pause before their next comeback and your calendar suspiciously clear, you found yourself gravitating to HYBE’s third practice room on the fifth floor.

Same old lights. Same scuffed flooring. Same drawer in the corner where you kept your charger and your lip balm—your unofficial locker in a room that wasn’t really yours but somehow felt like home.

You pushed off the mirror with a sigh and padded across the studio, footsteps soft against the wooden floor as you reached the familiar drawer.

Your phone sat inside, screen lighting up with two messages from Yunjin and one chaotic selfie of Chaewon in the groupchat you never muted.

yunjin [8:00 P.M.]: tell me why i just heard you’re at the building practicing again, girl sleep

chaewon [8:00 P.M.]: we miss you bitch come downstairs after ur possessed dance session

You cracked a grin despite yourself.

Being under HYBE was never the dream—but dancing was. Always had been. And when Le Sserafim debuted and you got scouted as part of the core backup team, something clicked.

Not just because the girls welcomed you like you’d grown up with them—dinners after rehearsals, borrowed hoodies, inside jokes—but because for the first time, your work felt like it belonged to something bigger.

“Should’ve debuted,” people often said. “You’ve got the talent. The look. The stage presence.”

Maybe you did.

But the contracts? The rules? The never-ending line of expectations and media training and image polishing?

You loved the spotlight, not the cage it came with.

So you danced. You lived. You stayed free.

Grabbing your phone, you wiped the back of your hand across your brow, tying your hair back into a loose bun and tossing your water bottle from one hand to the other as you headed toward the center of the room again. Just one more run-through. You weren’t tired—you were wired.

You tapped the playlist again.

Until—the door clicks open.

You pause mid-step, halfway through a turn.

Your brows furrow, already annoyed. This room was empty for a reason—booked by staff, reserved for registered dancers. If someone forgot to check the schedule again, you were not in the mood.

But then the door swings fully open, and Lee Heeseung walks in.

Baseball cap, all black sweats, and a water bottle tucked under his arm like he owns the place.

You recognize him immediately, not because you follow ENHYPEN—god, no—but because you’ve seen him around enough. Stage rehearsals. Passing glances in the hallway. One of HYBE’s golden boys.

The second he steps inside and hears the track echoing through the speakers, he freezes.

Eyes wide. Shoulders stiff. Like someone just pressed pause on his whole system. His gaze slowly scans the room—until it lands on you.

And for a second, he looks like a deer caught in headlights.

You glare instinctively. “This room’s booked.”

“Oh,” he says, like he’s only now realizing you’re real and not part of some fever dream. His voice is soft, almost breathless—like you startled him more than you should’ve.

He doesn’t move.

You shift your weight onto one hip, fixing your posture as you cross your arms over your chest. His eyes follow every movement, slow and wide-eyed, like he’s trying to memorize the moment. Your brow arches higher.

“…Are you lost?” you ask coolly, tone laced with dry amusement. “Or are you just staring for fun?”

Heeseung blinks again, visibly short-circuiting. “What? No—I mean—uh, sorry. I didn’t know anyone was still using the room.”

You roll your eyes, unimpressed, turning your back to him as you stride toward the speaker setup. Your phone’s still tucked into the little drawer beside it. You tap the screen to shut the music off mid-chorus, and the room falls into a painfully loud silence.

From behind you, his voice comes again—hesitant, awkward. “You were… practicing, right?”

You shoot him a look over your shoulder. “No shit.”

He flinches slightly—not from offense, but from the sheer tone. Like he’s never been spoken to like that in his life. Like no one’s ever looked at him like that—like he was in the way.

His lips part, stunned. You watch his mouth open, close, open again like he’s buffering.

You sigh. “Do you need something?”

“I just—uh. I have practice. After this. With the group. Here.”

You stare at him flatly. “…Congrats.”

Your phone finally detangles from the charger and you tug it free, slinging your towel across the back of your neck as you gather your things without urgency. You don’t rush, but every move says this conversation is over.

Heeseung doesn’t move out of your way.

He just stands there, eyes tracing the motion of your hands as you zip your bag shut.

His gaze follows your every motion, like your movements are a routine he can’t quite catch the rhythm to. There’s something almost boyish in the way he stands—hands at his sides, weight shifting between his feet, unsure if he’s allowed to speak again.

You don’t give him the satisfaction of eye contact.

You feel his stare burning into your back, heavy and annoyingly curious, as if he’s trying to figure you out like a puzzle someone dared him to solve. But you’ve played this game before. With idols who smile too easily. With eyes that linger too long.

You toss your bag over your shoulder, grip your phone in one hand, and walk past him without a glance.

The scent of his cologne barely reaches you—a subtle, clean warmth—but you ignore it like you ignore everything else about him.

Heeseung turns slightly as you brush by, part of him wanting to say something—anything. Maybe an apology. Maybe a compliment.

But you’re already out the door.

And behind you, Lee Heeseung stands frozen in the center of the practice room, watching the space you left behind like he’s never been dismissed that fast in his life.

The steam from your ramen curled lazily into the air, untouched and slowly going cold as you sat hunched over the dining table, poking at the noodles with your chopsticks.

The soft chatter of your friends buzzed from your phone, propped up on a half-empty water bottle in the center of the table.

Yunjin was in her usual spot on her bed, animatedly talking with her hands as she ranted about the upcoming concept, while Chaewon nodded along beside her, munching on what looked like a rice cracker.

“…and if they make us do that choreography again, I swear to god I’m filing a complaint,” Yunjin groaned dramatically, falling backwards onto the mattress. “My knees weren’t made for this. I’m an idol, not a gymnast.”

“You’re just mad you have to wear those boots again,” Chaewon snickered.

Yunjin gasped, pointing at the screen. “Don’t expose me like that!”

You didn’t respond.

You barely even blinked—chin resting in one hand, the other absentmindedly swirling your chopsticks through the broth.

You weren't even listening, really. Your mind was still in that practice room, rewinding and replaying something you refused to admit got under your skin.

“…Hello?” Yunjin’s voice cut through your fog. “Earth to (Y/N)?”

Nothing.

“(Y/N),” she called again, louder this time, leaning closer to the camera. “Are you even with us right now?”

You blinked and finally looked up. “Huh? Oh—sorry. Sorry, I wasn’t—yeah.”

Chaewon tilted her head. “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

You shook your head quickly, lips pressing into a thin line. “No, it’s nothing. Just… tired, I guess.”

Yunjin raised a perfectly sculpted brow, not buying it for a second. “That didn’t sound convincing at all. Spill.”

You sighed and dropped your chopsticks, leaning back in your chair. “It’s not even a big deal.”

“That’s what people say right before they drop the good shit,” Yunjin said, crossing her arms.

Chaewon chimed in, “Come on. You’re never like this.”

You hesitated, then finally muttered under your breath, “…I just—bumped into someone earlier.”

Yunjin perked up. “Who?”

You sighed, scrunching your nose as if the memory physically pained you. “That deer-looking member from ENHYPEN.”

Chaewon immediately burst out laughing, nearly dropping her snack. “You mean Heeseung-sunbaenim?”

Yunjin’s eyes lit up like a fire had been lit under her. “Wait—Lee Heeseung? That Heeseung??”

You groaned, dragging your palm down your face. “I didn’t even do anything. He just… walked in. Stared at me. Looked like he forgot how doors work. And then tried to talk like he wasn’t mentally glitching the whole time.”

Chaewon snorted. “That’s so specific.”

“I thought he was gonna pass out when I asked if he was lost,” you muttered, slumping forward dramatically. “Why do idols act like no one’s ever spoken to them like a normal person?”

Yunjin snorted. “Because they’re so used to everybody praising them and giving fake smiles. One real sentence and they malfunction.”

You laughed, dry and amused. “Amen to that.”

Chaewon, who’d gone quiet for a moment, suddenly spoke up. “Well… I mean, Heeseung-sunbaenim’s pretty notorious around here.”

You blinked. “What do you mean by ‘notorious’?”

Yunjin clicked her tongue and shot Chaewon a look. “Unnie.”

Chaewon just shrugged with a guilty smile, like she realized a little too late that she opened a door you were definitely going to walk through.

You narrowed your eyes. “What did she mean by that?”

Chaewon held her hands up innocently. “Nothing! I mean—I just meant… well, it’s really not my story to tell.”

You stared at her flatly. “You already started the story, might as well finish it.”

She sighed dramatically and leaned in closer to the camera, as if anyone was around to overhear. “Okay, fine. But lower your expectations—it’s just… you know how it is in the building. People talk.”

You nodded once, wordlessly. She took that as her cue.

“Well,” she began slowly, her voice dropping a little, “he’s kind of… known to be a—I don’t know—player, I guess?”

Yunjin shifted uncomfortably but didn’t interrupt this time.

“There was this whole thing a while back,” Chaewon continued, eyes flicking down like she didn’t want to make it a big deal. “Rumors said he used to date one of the backup dancers from a different group. And, um… it didn’t end well.”

Your expression didn’t change, but your fingers stilled against your water bottle.

“Didn’t end well?” you echoed.

Chaewon bit her lip. “Word is he ghosted her after a few weeks. Left her totally heartbroken. Like—treated her like she never existed.”

You raised a brow. You weren’t one to believe in gossip, but… these weren’t just random trainees or building buzz.

These were your girls. They never lied to you. Never exaggerated unless it was for comedic effect. And they weren’t even speaking with drama in their voices—just quiet caution.

Yunjin finally sighed and folded her arms. “Look, we’re not saying he’s evil or anything. But just… be careful, okay?”

“Careful?” you scoffed. “Yunjin, I threatened his life with a single look. I think I’m good.”

“Still,” she said, chin propped on her hand. “Guys like that? They love a challenge.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue. You hated that they might be right. Hated more that part of you had noticed the way he looked at you—like you were choreography he couldn’t quite learn but desperately wanted to.

Chaewon tilted her head. “So… are you gonna see him again?”

You blinked. “God, I hope not.”

You reached for your water again, swirling the bottle absentmindedly. “I mean—I just bumped into him. Literally. Once. So yeah, I hope not. Let’s leave it at that.”

Yunjin leaned in closer on camera, resting her chin in her palm. “Well… you’re contracted to us. Technically. So unless Heeseung-sunbaenim suddenly joins Le Sserafim, I think you’ll be safe.”

You snorted. “Right? If he pops up in our choreography, I’m quitting.”

“Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t volunteer for that,” Chaewon said under her breath.

You groaned, dragging your hand down your face. “Okay, can we not do this? He was barely in the room for five minutes and he was already glitching like I punched him with my eyes.”

Yunjin gave you a look. “You kind of did.”

You rolled your eyes, slumping back in your chair. “Whatever. It’s not like I’m ever gonna see him again. I’ve got enough going on.”

Yunjin tilted her head knowingly. “You’re only this defensive when something’s getting to you.”

“Getting to me?” you scoffed. “I’ve dealt with idols before. He’s not special.”

“Mm-hm,” Chaewon hummed, clearly not believing you.

“I’m serious,” you insisted. “He’s not even my type.”

You weren’t exactly sure how you ended up in this situation.

One minute you were running choreography drills for Chaewon’s solo part, and the next, you were seated stiffly in a cold conference room across the HYBE annex building, sipping on watered-down coffee like your future wasn’t being casually decided in front of you.

You sat silently as two managers—one from Le Sserafim’s team and one from ENHYPEN’s—talked over each other across the glossy table, voices overlapping in between manila folders and open schedules.

“We’re short one female dancer,” ENHYPEN’s manager said, flipping through pages.

“It’s a center piece too. A lot of exposure. We need someone who can hold their own without relying on the main members to carry the dynamic.”

“She’s perfect for it,” your manager added without hesitation. “She already has chemistry with the camera, she’s sharp, precise—and she’s worked alongside the girls long enough to adapt fast. She’s ready.”

They kept talking like you weren’t even there.

Your elbow was propped up against the table, chin resting on your hand as you tuned them out somewhere between “urgent casting call” and “we’ll handle the paperwork.”

All you could think about was this:

You were about to work with hormonal male idols. For a solid month.

And one of them just so happened to be the infamous deer-eyed flirt you had the misfortune of meeting barely 24 hours ago.

You’d heard the rumors. You weren’t new to this industry. You just never thought you’d be getting paid to be around them.

But god, the paycheck.

ENHYPEN wasn’t just big—they were everywhere. If you signed on, it would double your rate. Triple it, even. And it’d look good on your record. So good.

You sighed, finally tuning back in to the sound of your own name.

Both managers had turned to look at you, expectantly.

You blinked, eyes flitting between the two of them. Their faces were hopeful. It wasn’t like you had a million options.

You mumbled, “Yeah… I’ll do it.”

Cheers erupted immediately. The ENHYPEN manager clapped his hands together, standing to shake yours. “Knew you’d say yes. Great call—seriously. You’re saving us.”

You gave him a tight, polite smile, shaking both their hands with the enthusiasm of someone who just signed a deal with the devil. You adjusted your blouse, brushing invisible wrinkles from your skirt as your manager smiled at you.

“You can go now,” she said warmly. “We’ll finalize the transfer.”

You bowed slightly. “Thanks.”

As the door clicked open, your shoes echoed lightly against the tiled hallway floor—and you stopped short.

There they were.

Seven heads turned the moment you stepped out. ENHYPEN, all seated against the wall outside the conference room like they’d been waiting for their turn—or your decision.

You didn’t even let your gaze linger long enough to tell. You simply dipped your head in a short bow and kept walking, barely glancing their way.

But you felt it.

The same eyes from last night locked on your back again like a magnet—quiet, unblinking, and far too curious for your comfort. You pretended not to notice, walking right past like he was part of the wallpaper.

As soon as the door swung closed behind you, the hallway fell into silence.

Jake leaned over, nudging Heeseung with an elbow.

“Hey,” he said casually. “What was that?”

Heeseung blinked like he was just coming out of a daze. “Huh? Sorry—yeah. What?”

Jake raised a brow. “You good?”

Heeseung cleared his throat and looked down at his hands. “Yeah. Just tired.”

Jake didn’t believe it for a second, but he let it slide, leaning back against the wall with a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Right. Tired.”

Heeseung only smiled in return—soft, distracted—and fiddled with the rings on his fingers as if his thoughts were too loud to sit still.

His thumb brushed over the silver band on his index like it could help him, but it didn’t help much. Not when his mind was still stuck on you.

The manager’s voice called out, sharp and professional, “ENHYPEN, let’s go. We’re starting the prep meeting.”

Heeseung stood, brushing imaginary lint off his jeans before quietly following the others into the room—head down, heart louder than it should be.

You, on the other hand, were on the verge of a very quiet breakdown.

Your steps echoed through the hallway of the HYBE building as you made your way toward Le Sserafim’s practice room. You pushed the door open a little too fast, and the moment it swung wide, five sets of eyes snapped toward you like you’d triggered some kind of alarm.

“Whoa,” Yunjin blinked. “You good?”

You ran a hand through your hair and didn’t answer. Instead, you walked straight past the mirror and started pacing near the center of the room, your brows furrowed in thought.

Kazuha stood up first, moving toward you with a gentle hand reaching for your arm. “Unnie… are you okay?”

You blinked down at her, lips parted, and then forced a tired smile as you licked your lips and sighed. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just—I have another schedule right after this stage, so…”

The girls exchanged glances, the air shifting with curiosity.

“What do you mean?” Eunchae asked, already scooting closer beside you on the floor like she was preparing for a full story.

Kazuha guided you to sit in the middle with them, and you gave in, sinking onto the practice mat as you exhaled again, hands resting on your thighs.

“I was offered something,” you said slowly.

Chaewon’s eyes narrowed slightly, protective by nature. “Offered what?”

You looked at her, then glanced down. “I was hired… for ENHYPEN’s upcoming comeback.”

A chorus of squeals and gasps broke out instantly.

“Unnie, what?!”

“No way—”

“That’s huge!”

“You’re gonna be in the center??”

Sakura clapped her hands together. “Isn’t that a great thing? That’s such a big opportunity!”

You gave her a pout. “Unnie, won’t you miss me?”

She laughed, crawling over to drape her arm across your shoulder. “Of course I will! But that doesn’t mean I’m not proud.”

“You’re gonna kill it,” Yunjin said, pointing at you with certainty.

“I mean, we’re still in the same building,” Eunchae added with a small giggle. “It’s not like you’re moving countries.”

You groaned, throwing your head back dramatically as you let your hands fall into your lap. “Yeah, but I’m gonna be working with Heeseung.”

Sakura blinked. “Is that… such a bad thing?”

You didn’t respond. You didn’t need to.

You just slowly turned your head and sent a pointed look toward Chaewon, one brow raised like a silent accusation.

Sakura’s eyes widened instantly. “Wait—you told her?”

Chaewon raised both hands in mild defense. “Okay, well—she bumped into him last night! Practically had him shaking in his boots. What was I supposed to do, not say anything?”

Yunjin leaned back on her palms, letting out a low sigh. “To be fair, it’s just a rumor. About Heeseung-sunbaenim, I mean. No one really knows what happened with that backup dancer. It could’ve been blown out of proportion.”

Sakura sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose like she was the only adult in a room full of unhinged daughters. “Still… Heeseung-sunbaenim? That’s not exactly the kind of name I like hearing next to yours.”

You exhaled loudly, falling back onto the wooden floor with a light thud. “What am I even gonna do?”

“You’ll survive,” Chaewon said, grinning down at you as she leaned forward on her knees. “You hate male idols. So I’m guessing you’re safe.”

You gave her a flat look from where you were sprawled out. “I do.”

Yunjin shrugged. “She really does.”

“I mean,” you went on, dragging your hand over your face lazily, “they’re loud. They reek of fabric softener and expensive cologne. And most of them only train hard when a camera’s on.”

“Damn,” Eunchae muttered with a small laugh.

“And they all flirt like it’s their job,” you added for good measure, removing your hand off your face and staring at the ceiling. “Which, I guess… it kind of is.”

Chaewon raised a hand in mock prayer. “May the gods protect Heeseung-sunbaenim.”

You sat up slowly, shoulders sagging. “I mean, it won’t be that bad. Right?”

Kazuha patted your back gently. “That’s the spirit.”

“Exactly,” you nodded. “I’ve worked with guys before. I can be civil. Just gotta stay professional.”

But beneath all the teasing, all the nervous tension, and the semi-unfounded panic, you were trying your best not to wonder what working beside him would really be like.

Because no matter how much you insisted otherwise—the look in his eyes—the way he’d stared at you like you were some kind of glitch in his system.

You remembered it a little too well.

You sat cross-legged on the polished floor of the massive HYBE practice room, surrounded by six other girls—all dancers like you, all chatting quietly as they stretched, refilled water bottles, or scrolled through their phones between warmups. Despite only meeting earlier this week, you already liked them.

Maybe it was the familiarity in movement. Maybe it was the shared exhaustion.

Or maybe it was the way everyone kind of understood how tiring it was being in the shadows of the spotlight without actually resenting it.

You leaned back on your palms, listening to one of the girls, complain about her past contract. “I used to be assigned to TXT for their last few comebacks,” she sighed, brushing her bangs out of her eyes.

“But with ENHYPEN blowing up like this? I couldn’t even breathe during rehearsals.”

Another dancer, laughed. “Girl, be serious—it’s not even TXT’s fault. You just like sleeping.”

The group chuckled and you smiled, nodding along. “No, I get what she means though. These kinds of projects get intense. One delay and everything collapses.”

“Exactly,” One of them said, holding up a triumphant finger. “See? She gets it.”

Even one of the choreographers nearby, who was mid-conversation with another coach across the mirrors, looked over and grinned. “She couldn’t survive another world tour. This is her redemption arc.”

That earned more laughs from the dancers, and the room softened with warmth again.

Then a new voice piped up from your right. “So, (Y/N), who did you used to work with?”

You glanced over. Another dancer, tilted her head curiously. “Like… which group?”

You shrugged, casually stretching your arms. “Ah—I was with Le Sserafim.”

Immediately, someone gasped. “Wait, really? Is it true they’re super kind? Like, off-cam too?”

You smiled automatically, fondness slipping into your voice before you could filter it. “Yeah. They’re honestly the sweetest. Super hardworking. It was… fun working with them. Like, really fun.”

“Aww,” someone said, and another sighed dreamily. “See, I knew they were angels.”

You laughed under your breath, tucking your hair behind your ear—just in time for the door to swing open with a solid click.

The entire room paused.

And in walked the seven boys you were assigned to work with for the next four weeks.

The same boys you’d passed in the hallway. The same ones from all the stages, the headlines, the insane fan energy. And the same group that just so happened to include him.

You stood automatically with the others, muscles tight from both habit and something else.

“Good morning!” their manager called behind them.

“Good morning!” the dancers and choreographers chorused back, all polite smiles and tiny bows.

The boys followed suit, each dipping into a respectful bow before scattering around the mirrored room—bags being dropped, jackets shrugged off, water bottles set down with practiced ease. You bowed too, forcing your body to stay neutral.

Your eyes found him immediately.

Lee Heeseung.

He moved like he belonged in the center of the room. Not because he demanded attention—but because his presence pulled it. Effortless, fluid, camera-ready even in joggers and a hoodie.

His hair was silver now.

Freshly dyed. Still glinting slightly under the overhead lights, strands catching the soft fluorescent white like moonlight turned solid.

He was scanning the room—just like you were—and the moment your gazes met, it was instant.

Sharp. Heavy. Lingering just one second too long.

You blinked.

So did he.

Then he quickly looked down, fumbling with the strap of his bag like it suddenly became a Rubik’s cube. You rolled your eyes to yourself and turned away, muttering under your breath as you took a step back toward the center.

“Well. This is gonna be great.”

You muttered it mostly to yourself as you adjusted the hem of your loose tee, tucking it into your joggers while quietly making your way to stand beside the other dancers near the wall.

The mirrors across the room stretched from end to end, reflecting the hum of quiet excitement as both groups began gathering in clusters.

And even from across the room, Heeseung’s ears burned. Because even if you weren’t looking anymore—he still was.

You stuck beside one of the girls you’d spoken with earlier, both of you choosing to hover just slightly farther from the others—close enough to listen, far enough to not be the center of attention.

Not yet, at least.

“Alright, let’s get started,” Jungwon’s voice rang out gently over the low murmurs, ever the natural leader. “Hyung, they’re all here.”

One of the choreographers clapped his hands together in the center of the mirrored room, stepping forward with a wide smile. “Perfect. Good morning, everyone!”

A chorus of polite greetings echoed back.

“We’re all here today to begin blocking for ENHYPEN’s upcoming comeback performance,” he continued. “Congratulations to the group, by the way—this one’s big.”

Everyone clapped.

The dancers. The choreographers. Even a few stylists and managers along the back wall clapped and grinned, nodding toward the boys with pride.

You clapped too. Briefly. Quietly. No emotion behind it—but polite enough.

“Let’s start with greetings,” the second choreographer said, motioning toward the group. “Boys first. Formalities matter, okay?”

With that, Jungwon took half a step forward, his signature dimple flashing as he smiled like it was second nature. “Okay, okay. One, two—connect!”

The rest of the group snapped in sync: “We are ENHYPEN!”

It earned a few amused reactions from the dancers around you—some cooing at the professionalism, others just watching with quiet admiration. They really were idols through and through.

“I’m Jungwon,” he said warmly. “I’ll do my best to keep up.”

“Jay,” came the next, a sharp bow and his eyes flickering briefly toward you and the other girls. “Thank you for working with us.”

“Jay,” came the next, a sharp bow and his eyes flickering briefly toward you and the other girls. “Thank you for working with us.”

“Sunghoon,” said the next, voice cool, expression unreadable.

Then came: “Sunoo! I’m looking forward to dancing with you all.” followed by his signature grin.

“Ni-ki,” the youngest nodded, already swaying slightly like he couldn’t stand still. “Please take care of me.”

“…Heeseung.”

You didn’t realize you’d turned slightly until your eyes locked on him—and once again, he was already looking.

Hard.

You could see the tightness in his jaw, the awkward twitch of his fingers as he bowed slightly, his voice just a pitch softer than the rest. “Nice to meet you.”

Heeseung’s eyes trailed after you long after the boys stepped back into line.

His ears were burning.

He couldn’t even pretend to look somewhere else. Not when you were standing like that—posture sharp, head high, exuding confidence like it was woven into your skin.

The way you carried yourself—like you already owned the room. And maybe, maybe that was what made him feel like he forgot how to stand.

“Your turn, girls,” one of the choreographers said, gesturing toward your side.

The girls began one by one. Bowing politely, offering soft greetings.

“Hi, I’m excited to be here.”

“Looking forward to working with everyone.”

“Hope we’ll all get along well.”

You stepped forward, just enough. Bowed once—sharp, respectful, effortless. When you lifted your head, your voice was even, steady.

“I’m (Y/N),” you said. “Please take care of me.”

Simple.

Straight to the point.

And Heeseung was gone.

He stared—eyes wide, lips parted ever so slightly. Your name hit him like it echoed, like it attached itself to his spine and rewrote his posture.

“(Y/N),” he mouthed, almost unconsciously.

His fingers moved without thought—tugging at the top of his ear where the skin felt like it was on fire. He rubbed the shell of it, trying to focus, to breathe, to not look like a complete idiot.

But it didn’t help.

Jay, standing next to him, leaned in just enough to whisper without breaking formation. “Dude.”

Heeseung blinked. “Huh?”

“You’re staring like you’ve never seen a girl before.”

“I’m not—”

Jay snickered, looking ahead again. “Your ears are literally red.”

Heeseung didn’t respond. Just kept fiddling with his earring, swallowing once. Twice.

Then, like even that felt too revealing, he let his hand drop to his side and instead started tugging at the sleeves of his oversized sweater. The cotton bunched in his fingers as he pulled them low—hiding his hands, letting the ends fall just enough to brush against his palms.

His gaze never found you again. Not directly.

He kept his eyes somewhere safe—like the mirrors. Or the floor. Or the vague corner of the room that wasn’t currently occupied by the girl who now had a name. A name that rolled around his head on loop like a song he couldn’t shake off.

You raised a brow at his odd behavior.

Heeseung wasn’t exactly subtle. It was like watching a deer try to pretend it wasn’t cornered.

Before you could dwell on it, one of the choreographers clapped their hands sharply, recentering everyone’s attention.

“Alright! Let’s jump in,” she said, spinning back toward the room’s center. “We’ll be starting with the title track first—‘Bite Me.’”

There were a few audible reactions to that.

Jake nodded, lips quirking.

Sunghoon crossed his arms, unreadable.

“Oh no,” he whined, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Don’t tell me it’s another dark concept. I was made for cuteness!”

One of the other choreographers laughed. “You’ll survive, Sunoo.”

“Barely,” he muttered.

“We’re leaning heavy into the vampire theme,” the choreographer continued, pacing slowly as she spoke.

“Dark, dramatic, a little seductive. Think… elegant, but dangerous. Intense, but controlled. It’s a visual-heavy piece, so expression work is just as important as the movements.”

Another coach jumped in, voice sharper, more technical. “Blocking and formations will start today, but we’ll ease in. Dancers—you’ll be working close. Touching will be part of this. We’re not going cutesy here.”

You blinked, processing.

“Did she say seductive?” one of the girls whispered beside you, stifling a laugh.

You sighed, arms crossing as you tried not to react, eyes flicking briefly toward the group across the room.

Heeseung was still fiddling with his sleeves. Still avoiding your gaze. Still pretending to be very, very invested in the floor.

You exhaled slowly through your nose.

“This comeback’s all about energy,” the choreographer said firmly. “That tension between danger and desire. We want chemistry. We want heat. If it doesn’t feel electric, it’s not working.”

Fantastic, you thought dryly.

Someone from the staff behind you quietly passed out water bottles and printed choreo maps.

“Partners will be finalized in a few minutes,” the head coach added. “But today, we’re just learning formations. Take mental notes of who moves where—chemistry’s part of the selection process.”

You nearly flinched.

Because just the word partners sent something uneasy crawling up your spine.

You didn’t know if it was nerves or dread.

You exhaled slowly, reaching up to move your hair from your shoulders, pulling it back into a loose ponytail as if the movement would also push away the anxiety building in your chest.

“Alright,” Jungwon clapped his hands once, the sound clean and polite. “Let’s find space so we can stretch first. Coach said to keep it light for now.”

Around you, everyone shuffled into place.

The music started low, steady from the mounted speakers—an instrumental beat pulsing soft but cold, fitting the vampire concept too well.

You padded toward a space near one of the other dancers, taking your mark as your arms loosened at your sides. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught movement.

Jay and Heeseung stepped into the spot diagonally across from you.

A few feet away.

Just far enough to notice.

Silver hair. Pale under the lights. A tall frame you could not ignore if you tried—and you really, really tried.

Heeseung moved precisely, even when doing something as simple as a forward fold. Every stretch, every posture, even the subtle turn of his wrist as he reached upward, had the kind of practiced grace that only came from years of muscle memory.

And fine, maybe the way the hem of his sweater rose a little to reveal the curve of his waist was—not an eyesore.

He bent forward, long legs folding in near-perfect symmetry, and you hummed to yourself in thought as you copied the motion, fingertips brushing your sneakers as you leaned into the stretch.

You closed your eyes briefly.

He’s not ugly, your brain offered helpfully.

But it wasn’t about looks. Never was.

You didn’t trust the type. Not the idol charm. Not the carefully curated appeal. Not the ones who knew they were beautiful and acted like it was a favor to the world.

Still, you found yourself peeking again, through the fall of your lashes, just in time to see Heeseung adjust his sleeves and glance up—and this time, his eyes nearly caught yours.

You turned away before they could.

You reached upward on cue as Jungwon led the next stretch, voice light and encouraging from the center.

“Arms up,” he said, demonstrating. “Inhale, and—fold. Let’s warm up your legs and lower back.”

You followed the rhythm, letting your body fall back into instinct.

Jungwon’s voice carried steady through the room as he guided the group through the last stretch. “And exhale slowly—come back up.”

Everyone rose from their positions in a wave of motion, quiet exhalations filling the space like a shared breath.

The choreographers moved to the front again, clapping once to gather attention.

“Alright, now that everyone’s loosened up,” one began, “let’s talk a bit more about the concept before we get into teaching.”

You rolled your shoulders back, settling into a comfortable stance, arms crossed loosely as you listened—nodding every so often, even if most of it passed over your head like background noise.

“‘Bite Me,’” the head coach repeated. “We mentioned earlier—vampire concept, but we’re going deeper. Think power. Think seduction. There’s a desperation to the choreography, like you’re drawn to each other, pulled in and pushed away again.”

You blinked slowly.

“Now, before we assign partners,” another choreographer chimed in, “we’re going to teach the first part of the chorus. Just to see how the movement flows. Chemistry matters—and it’s easier to feel that when we see you do it alone a few times first.”

Alone.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

“Everyone, shift to formation, please,” the head choreographer instructed. “We’ll teach the base steps first, no pressure, no full-out yet.”

You moved into place with the other dancers, falling naturally into a slot near the right. The ENHYPEN boys were mirrored on the other side of the room—learning the same steps, taught by a different coach with half the mirrors angled toward them.

The music started again.

Slower this time. Stripped. Just beat and breath.

And then the first movements were demonstrated—an arch of the back, a turn on the heel, a downward drag of your hand down your neck and chest. A flick of the wrist. A step forward with intent.

You weren’t a stranger to dancing in close contact—but this was different. Every move screamed tension.

Everything about it screamed closeness, heat, the kind of near-touch that burned more than actual skin-on-skin.

Still—you adapted fast.

Even without a partner, your movements flowed smoothly. The twist of your body, the precise lines of your arms, the slight drop of your head when instructed to lean back with your neck exposed—

“Nice, (Y/N),” one of the choreographers called out, eyes sharp as she passed you. “Try leaning your head back just a bit more. Let it feel surrendered.”

You nodded quickly, making the adjustment as you repeated the movement again from the top. Fingers ghosting your collarbone, chin tilted higher this time, lips slightly parted with the breath it took to move like that.

You caught your own reflection in the mirror.

And for a moment, even you did a double take.

You hummed under your breath and went back to hitting the formation, silently wondering how the hell you were going to do this with actual physical contact involved.

And across the room, Lee Heeseung was spiraling.

He couldn’t look away.

Not really.

He tried—god, he really tried—but you were in his peripheral vision like gravity, like something pulling him in every time you moved with that sharp, fluid control.

There was no faltering in your rhythm. Every drag of your hand, every arch, every twist of your body—it was like your bones knew the beat before the music even dropped.

And it was doing things to him.

His jaw clenched. So did his hands, tightening into loose fists at his sides as the choreographer called out the next set of steps.

Heeseung had a half-mind to listen. The other half was firmly rooted in the sight of you dragging your palm over your throat with your eyes closed.

Jake, next to him, didn’t even look up as he sighed. “Stop acting like it’s the first time you’ve seen a girl besides your mom,” he muttered under his breath.

Heeseung whipped his head toward him with a scowl, voice low. “Shut up.”

Jake raised both hands in mock surrender. “I’m just saying. You’re being so obvious right now.”

Heeseung glared for another beat before turning back toward the mirror. He adjusted his footing, shook out his arms, and tried to fall into formation again—but it was impossible.

Because now the music was picking up, and the choreographer’s voice cut across the room sharply—

“Focus! Don’t just mark it—move like it means something.”

He bent his knees slightly, timed the flick of his hand to the beat. But then came the next count—hips sliding forward, one arm curling behind the neck as if gripping something—or someone.

And his eyes flicked to the other side of the room.

To the way your neck tilted back like surrender. The way your lips parted ever so slightly with the breath it took to dip into the move. The sheer ease of it.

He blinked.

His thoughts were so loud he nearly missed the cue to step again. He silently begged the universe to make it stop.

Or not.

He didn’t know what he wanted anymore—does he want to be paired with you or not?

Because, on one hand, if he was—he’d combust. On the spot. Sweaty palms. Shaky voice. Couldn’t make eye contact for days.

On the other hand—if he wasn’t, he might die anyway.

The thought made him exhale sharply through his nose, dragging a hand over his face as the song faded out and the choreographer’s voice came in again, too chipper for the tension in his bones.

“Alright,” they said. “I think we’re ready to try that with partners now.”

A collective groan passed through the room.

Everyone drifted from their positions, regrouping in the center of the studio. The casual chatter returned—water bottles uncapped, someone fixing a hair tie, another adjusting the waistband of their sweatpants.

“Actually,” the assistant choreographer interrupted, stepping forward, “line up by height first. Let’s just get a visual.”

Sunoo blinked. “Are we back in high school?”

You barely suppressed a laugh, biting the inside of your cheek as a few dancers giggled around you.

But when you realized where you were standing once the line shifted into place—right at the front—you frowned almost instantly.

You exhaled slowly, arms folded over your chest as the choreographers paced the length of the line, murmuring notes between each other.

Occasionally, one would glance up, pointing briefly at a pair as if mentally bookmarking the duo. Once they reached the end of the line, the head coach nodded.

“Alright, back to the side please. We’ll start pairing off.”

Everyone shuffled away again, some more eager than others, some already whispering guesses. You stayed quiet.

“Let’s get this over with,” the choreographer continued, scanning the clipboard in their hand. “The sooner we find working chemistry, the better. We’ll try each pairing for a few counts, take notes, and go from there.”

You leaned against the wall, towel over your shoulder, fingers nervously tracing the hem.

“Heeseung.”

Your head turned.

He stepped out from the crowd smoothly, all quiet confidence and long strides. His silver hair glinted faintly under the studio lights, and despite the way his sweater clung to his back with sweat, he moved with ease.

He stood in the center of the room like he was born there, and maybe he was.

The choreographer tilted their chin. “Let’s see the male part from the top. Just walk us through it alone.”

Heeseung nodded, rolling his shoulders out as the music cued.

He moved like water—sharp but fluid, clean but emotional. Every movement was deliberate, every beat executed with the kind of skill that only came from years of muscle memory. You couldn’t deny it.

He was good. Really good.

The choreographers scribbled something down as he finished the last beat, chest rising and falling lightly.

You hummed under your breath.

“(Y/N).”

Your eyes flicked up. You pushed off the wall without a word, making your way toward the center as Heeseung stepped aside instinctively, giving you enough room to take your mark.

You dropped your towel, exhaled, and rolled your wrists once.

Your steps hit beat-for-beat with the track. Smooth twists, steady isolations, a sharp flick of the wrist here, a dragged palm across your jaw there—every motion etched in muscle and instinct. When you tilted your head back for that final count, eyes fluttering shut, it felt like electricity humming down your spine.

Even Heeseung blinked.

The choreographers paused. Whispered again. “Heeseung. Step in.”

He did. Hesitantly. Carefully. At least three feet away from you.

Laughter erupted from the other side of the room.

Jungwon scoffed playfully. “Hyung, what is that? A long-distance relationship?”

Heeseung scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, the tips of his ears already red. “Just… giving space.”

“You won’t be giving space when you’re doing the actual choreo,” one of the choreographers said dryly. “Move closer.”

Heeseung inched forward—half a step. Barely noticeable.

“Closer.”

Another half-step.

Heeseung’s mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. “…Right.”

You nodded once, sharp and simple, then turned your attention to the choreographers. You needed to keep it together—focus. You’d done harder routines than this. You’d worked with idols before.

But none of them had stood next to you like this.

None of them had made your skin crawl in a way that felt more like heat than discomfort.

You barely registered Heeseung fidgeting again, fingers tugging at the ends of his sleeves like they might hide the way his hands wouldn’t stop twitching. You didn’t even look at him.

The choreographers, clipboard in hand, were murmuring something. Their voices low, but not low enough.

“She’s a full foot shorter, but I think it looks great on camera.”

“Yeah, there’s contrast—but not awkward. They match. Perfectly.”

“I think this could work.”

You said nothing and let it slide.

Because if you were going to do this—you had to act like Lee Heeseung’s existence didn’t crawl up your spine like static. That his height didn’t make you feel cornered. That the word match didn’t make your stomach twist uncomfortably.

You straightened your posture.

Heeseung cleared his throat softly beside you.

The choreographer clapped once, “Alright. Let’s walk through it slowly first—no music yet. Get into your first position.”

You both nodded. You stepped back into formation, facing each other with about a foot of space between. Heeseung took one breath in—then another. You didn’t dare look at him.

“On my count.”

One. Two. Three.

You started slow, like instructed—bodies circling, moving around each other.

The first few steps had you moving away from him, then pulling close again. As the count hit, you slid your hand up—just under his chin, fingers hovering at the edge of his jaw. Your eyes flicked up briefly, catching the slightest flicker of hesitation in his.

Heeseung inhaled—shallow and sharp.

Still, he leaned in, just like he was supposed to. The distance between your faces cut down to mere inches. You could feel the heat radiating from him, smell the faint scent of cologne and fabric softener and nerves.

You dropped down—one knee softly touching the floor.

Your hands moved slowly up from his hip to the hem of his shirt, grazing the fabric there, before trailing higher, across his abdomen, tracing a path to his chest.

His jaw clenched, but his arms remained at his sides like he was afraid to move too early.

You heard the choreographer’s voice again, distant but present.

“Nice. That’s good. Keep going.”

Heeseung finally reacted—just in time for the next cue.

He moved his hands to your waist, gentle but firm, fingers curling against your sides as you rose slightly from the kneel.

The contact startled you more than it should’ve, even though it was expected. You glanced up instinctively—only to find him already looking at you.

His gaze dropped immediately, like he got caught.

You cleared your throat and placed both hands on his shoulders, grounding yourself, letting the last beat echo in silence between your bodies.

You could hear everything—the beat of your own pulse, the slight shift in his breath. His fingers still rested on your waist, not too tight, not too loose. Just there.

Holding you like he was still figuring out if you were real.

The choreographers finally broke the silence.

“Alright, not bad. Let’s do that one more time. Try to make the connection feel more intentional.”

Heeseung beat you to a response.

“S-sorry,” he muttered quickly, bowing slightly. “That was on me.”

The second choreographer chuckled under her breath. “You’re being too careful, Heeseung. This is a dance, not a bomb you’re diffusing.”

Heeseung gave a sheepish laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “Right. Got it.”

His ears were already red.

You just raised a brow at the way he looked everywhere but at you.

“Places,” the coach clapped once.

You rolled your shoulders, exhaled through your nose, and stepped into formation again. Heeseung followed, a breath deeper this time.

The beat kicked in, and this time—he was different.

Gone was the awkward fumbling. Gone was the frozen posture and hesitant touch. He moved with rhythm. With ease. With intent.

Every shift of his body matched yours, every brush of his fingertips felt steadier. More confident. The moment your hand ghosted up his chest again, his jaw clenched—but not from hesitation.

He arched into it this time. Deliberately.

When you circled him, he matched the pace with a slight smirk playing on his lips, eyes sharp. There was no sign of the awkward boy from five minutes ago.

Only the performer. The idol. The center.

Your hands slid across his shoulders. His gripped your waist—not tentative, not light—just firm enough to make your breath hitch for half a second.

You weren’t expecting that. You were not expecting him to suddenly be good at this.

The last beat hit. Your chest close to his. Breaths heavy. The song faded out.

And just like that, Heeseung stepped back. Not far. Just enough.

Enough to breathe again. Enough to stop looking at you like he forgot how to speak.

The choreographers clapped slowly.

“That,” one of them said, beaming. “That was it. Excellent. You two have great chemistry. This might be a breeze.”

You nodded politely, brushing a loose strand of hair from your face. “Thank you.”

Heeseung did the same, his voice calmer this time. “Thank you.”

But when you turned to walk back to the side of the room—Heeseung followed.

Not close enough to be weird, but close enough for you to hear him exhale softly when he caught up. Close enough for your skin to still remember the imprint of his hands on your waist.

You sat down without looking at him.

Lee Heeseung was everything you didn’t like about male idols: too pretty, too confident, too adored. You’d heard the whispers, the quiet little stories shared in half-jokes around company dinner tables.

The dancer he used to date.

The heartbreak. The ghosting. The way she supposedly cried in the hallway of the studio one night before switching agencies altogether.

You shook your head. You had no business even thinking about the way his grip had felt—firm, steady. Like he’d done it a thousand times but had only now started to mean it.

You didn’t care how steady his hands were. Or how he watched you like he was trying to memorize the shape of your silhouette.

You didn’t care.

Except he was still looking.

You could feel it—his gaze hot on the side of your face. Not cocky, not smug. Just curious. Like he didn’t understand what just happened either.

From the corner of your eye, you saw movement. Sunoo plopped down next to Heeseung with all the grace of a cat, glancing between him and you like it was nothing.

Then, casually, he patted Heeseung on the back.

“Hyung, you didn’t trip,” he said, voice light. “Proud of you.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, barely registering the words. His reply came on a delay. “I, uh. Yeah.”

You kept your expression unreadable. Your towel still pressed to your neck. The choreography hadn’t even reached the hardest part yet, and already—your limbs felt heavier than usual.

This was going to be a long month.

It had been two weeks.

Two weeks of long rehearsals. Late nights. Sweat-slicked skin and sore muscles. Two weeks of fine-tuning footwork and syncing counts to the breath.

Two weeks of him.

Two weeks of Lee Heeseung glancing at you when he thought you wouldn’t notice. Two weeks of him acting like you’d shatter if he so much as stepped too close.

Two weeks of slow, stuttering hands on your waist when the choreography required it—and apologies mumbled under his breath every time your eyes met.

You were in the middle of running through his solo transition in the second verse—just before the chorus kicks in again. It was one of the more intimate moments in the choreography. One that required connection. Chemistry. Conviction.

Which was currently nonexistent.

You stood in position, the rest of the dancers fanned out behind you in a wide semi-circle as the music paused.

In front of you, Heeseung exhaled hard.

His hand fell from where it should’ve rested on your hands, and the choreographer clapped once to cut the tension.

“Heeseung,” one of them sighed. “Focus.”

“Sorry,” he muttered, rubbing his palms on his sweats. “I just—can we run it back one more time?”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Barely.

The choreographer waved a hand at the sound tech, who restarted the instrumental from the top of the chorus.

As everyone began shifting back to position, you crossed your arms and turned to him.

“Are you okay?” you asked, voice flat but biting.

Heeseung flinched at the way your words landed—like ice across his skin. Your voice wasn’t harsh, but it held no warmth either. No softness. Just clean, sharp indifference.

Heeseung blinked at you, startled. “What?”

You stared at him for a beat longer. His silver hair was tied up today, loose strands sticking to his forehead. His chest rose and fell like he was mid-marathon instead of just missing a step.

“Because I’m not going to carry this part on my own,” you added, voice still calm. Cold. “This is your choreography.”

He blinked, jaw tightening ever so slightly. “I never said you had to.”

“Then act like it.”

That made something in his face shift—like the words cut deeper than intended. His smile dropped entirely. A faint frown formed between his brows as he looked down at his shoes.

But you were already walking back to your mark, not sparing him another glance. Ignoring the way his eyes followed you.

Jay nudged him lightly with an elbow, “You’re overthinking it, bro.”

Heeseung didn’t answer. Just inhaled. Exhaled. Rolled his shoulders.

The music started again—bass thumping low, count-off syncing everyone back into motion.

He moved with more control this time. You could tell he was trying. His footwork was cleaner. Timing sharper. But the second verse solo was his moment. And he knew it.

So when the cue came—the one where you stepped behind him, hands skimming lightly down the length of his arms—he stepped forward too early.

Not by much. Barely half a beat. But it was enough to throw off the rhythm. Enough that your hand missed his shoulder completely and hit air.

The head choreographer raised a hand, halting the music mid-beat.

“Take five,” they said, sighing as they turned to the sound tech.

Everyone scattered instantly, water bottles and towels in hand. Some of the other dancers stretched quietly in the corner, a few whispering about the mistake under their breath.

You pressed your lips together, jaw tight as you reached for your towel.

Heeseung hadn’t moved from his spot.

Jay clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Relax. It’s fine.”

But Heeseung didn’t look relaxed. Hands on his hips, sweat lining his jaw, hair a mess from the constant movement—and still, his eyes flicked to you.

Just once.

Just long enough to catch the way your gaze slid past him like he didn’t even exist.

He swore something cracked in his chest.

Heeseung looked at himself in the mirror—chest rising and falling, expression pulled tight with something he couldn’t name. Was it disappointment? Embarrassment? Whatever it was, it felt heavy.

He walked away slowly, grabbing his phone off the floor and padding out of the room with barely a sound. His head hung low, lips slightly parted as he exhaled shakily.

He turned the corner and made his way to one of the vending machines stationed near the end of the floor. Neon lights flickered faintly above as he crouched slightly, scanning the QR code on the machine’s screen with his phone.

A soft beep.

A second later, a familiar thunk as the bottle of banana milk slid down the chute.

Heeseung grabbed it, twisting the cap with one hand. He took a long gulp, only to cough right after—choking slightly from the rush of cold liquid.

“Are you seriously an idol?”

He turned, startled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You were leaning against the wall, arms crossed, expression unreadable. The pale gray concrete made your figure stand out sharper, fiercer.

“Uh—” He cleared his throat. “Yeah. I mean. I guess. Practice kept getting held up because of me so I just—needed a break. I’m… sorry.”

You scoffed, pushing off the wall with one shoulder.

“Stop apologizing and focus,” you snapped. “You’re dragging everyone down with you.”

He blinked, stunned by your bluntness—still unused to anyone speaking to him like that. Not his members, not the managers, never anyone outside his circle.

“I’m trying, okay?” he muttered, voice lower now, like the words hurt to admit.

Your brow twitched.

You stepped toward him—slowly, purposefully.

Heeseung tensed, eyes wide. You stopped just a few inches away, close enough that he could see the slight sweat sheen on your cheekbones, the fire in your gaze.

Heeseung was tall, but the way you looked up at him made him feel small.

“Then try harder,” you bit out. “People are just trying to do their jobs. People who actually care.”

He opened his mouth to defend himself—but the words caught in his throat as your finger jabbed into his chest.

“I don’t care if you’re tired, or nervous, or whatever this is,” you snapped. “If you’re gonna be in the center, then act like it. Earn it. Not just for yourself.”

You stared at him a second longer. Heeseung didn’t even breathe. And then you pulled away with a scoff, shaking your head as you turned on your heel.

He didn’t say a word. He just stood there—silent and still, banana milk cold in his hand.

And only when you were completely gone—your footsteps echoing down the hall—did his head drop again, shoulders slumping like the weight finally cracked through.

He blinked fast, hoping to stop it. But his eyes were already stinging.

Jaw tight, thumb absently fidgeting with the plastic bottle cap as his other hand wiped at the corner of his eye with the sleeve of his hoodie.

Heeseung sniffed once.

He was the center of the comeback. And he was falling apart over one dancer who probably hated his guts.

And yet, all he could think was—you’re right.

Heeseung sniffed again, the burn behind his eyes finally dulling as he blinked rapidly and wiped at them with his sleeve. Another shaky exhale. Then another.

Until he felt composed enough to not look like he’d just had a breakdown beside a vending machine over a girl who barely said two nice words to him.

He dragged himself back to the practice room, the hallway suddenly feeling too short, too bright, the hum of the aircon too loud in his ears.

The moment the door slid open, all heads turned.

Heeseung kept his gaze down, refusing to meet any of their eyes. Not Jay’s. Not Jake’s. Not yours.

Especially not yours.

He padded in quietly, setting his half-finished banana milk and phone down beside his bag like nothing happened. His face was mostly hidden behind the sleeves of his sweater again, his silver hair falling slightly over his forehead, damp with sweat.

“Positions, everyone!” one of the choreographers called out cheerfully, clapping their hands twice as they stood near the mirror.

You watched him move.

He didn’t hesitate this time.

He stepped into the center of the room, right where he belonged. His jaw was set now. Shoulders straighter, feet firmer, like he was holding himself together with everything he had.

Your fingers curled slightly at your sides as you took a step forward, trailing behind the others who were getting into position. Your eyes didn’t leave him.

Not once.

You watched as he stood there silently, hands flexing and unflexing by his thighs. Like he was waiting to be told what to do. Like he was afraid to mess it up again.

And then his eyes flicked up—just briefly. Not even a full second.

But they met yours. Red-rimmed and soft.

Your heart twitched against your will.

“Alright,” the choreographer said, clapping again. “From the top of the chorus. Everyone ready?”

You nodded along with the others and moved into place, still watching him.

Still unsure why it suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe right.

As the music began to hum from the speakers again, you shifted forward, placing yourself behind Heeseung—just like the choreography required. You noticed the slight tremble in his fingers. The way he inhaled through his nose like he was bracing himself.

And maybe it was stupid. Maybe you shouldn’t have felt anything at all.

But you leaned in slightly and muttered, just loud enough for him to hear, “Don’t mess this up.”

It wasn’t mean. Not sharp. Not scolding.

But Heeseung didn’t lift his gaze. Didn’t say anything in return.

Just gave the smallest nod—like he was afraid even that would be too much. His eyes fixed straight ahead, shoulders rigid but steady, jaw ticking faintly as the music started again.

And this time, he didn’t stumble. He remembered the counts. The shifts. The way your hand was supposed to trail across his chest, the way he was supposed to hold your waist just tight enough to keep the tension.

Heeseung danced like he had something to prove. Like proving it would mean something to you.

The second the last beat hit, a wave of cheers erupted from the room.

“Nice! That’s it!”

“That’s the energy!”

But not a single sound came from Heeseung. Not even the usual, breathless laugh he let out when he nailed a routine. Not even the bright smile that usually curved his lips when he got praised.

Instead, he let go of your waist slowly, barely brushing your arm as he stepped back.

Eyes still downcast, expression unreadable.

He reached for the hair tie at the back of his head, quietly tugging it free. His silver bangs fell into his eyes again, and he swept them back absently with one hand, a habit so practiced it didn’t even look intentional.

Then he turned without a word.

Heeseung walked across the floor, sneakers making barely any sound on the hardwood as he crouched beside his things.

He grabbed his phone, sat down with his back against the mirrored wall, and stared at the lockscreen like it would give him something to focus on.

Your brows furrowed slightly as you watched from a few steps away, towel still hanging from your neck. The cheers died down, but you barely noticed. Your eyes were still on him.

Not because he was Heeseung, but because he looked—small.

Small in a way that didn’t make sense on someone so tall. Small in the way someone looks when they’re trying not to feel something too loud.

And you hated it.

You hated the way your hands twitched at your sides. You hated that he wasn’t smiling. That he wasn’t doing that dumb, nervous laugh anymore. That he didn’t even look proud of himself for finally getting it right.

"Why does he have to look like a kicked puppy," you muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes before wiping at your face with your towel.

Because you didn’t feel bad.

You didn’t, right?

“Alright, take five and we’ll break down the transitions,” one of the choreographers called. “If anyone needs water, now’s the time.”

You made a move to walk toward your own bag, but your eyes—again—betrayed you.

Heeseung was still sitting. Same spot. Same posture. Thumb hovering over his phone but never typing anything.

Jungwon passed by him with a water bottle and a small pat on the shoulder. “Good job, hyung.”

Heeseung looked up with a tight smile. “Thanks.”

He didn’t smile for real, and that’s what got you.

Because Lee Heeseung always smiled.

Until now.

And it was all because of you.

It was nearly midnight.

The halls of the HYBE building had gone still, that hushed kind of silence reserved only for the end of long days and overworked idols.

You were curled into one side of one of the couches in the lounge area, legs folded underneath you, your bag slumped beside you like it was just as tired.

Your phone glowed in your hand, thumb scrolling mindlessly through Instagram. Not liking anything. Not even looking, really. Just passing time. Trying to breathe.

The last two weeks had been a lot. And you didn’t know how to feel about any of it anymore.

You were about to shut your phone off when someone cleared their throat gently nearby. You looked up, blinking at the figure that stood in front of you.

Sunoo.

Ginger hair bouncing lightly, a hopeful, careful smile on his lips.

“Hi,” he said, his voice sweet and just a little unsure. “Can I sit here?”

You blinked once. Twice. Then nodded, gesturing to the empty space next to you. “Yeah. Of course.”

He plopped down beside you with a soft huff, his hoodie sleeves slipping down to his hands as he leaned back into the cushion.

“Hi, (Y/N)-noona,” he greeted, brighter this time. “How are you?”

You couldn’t help but smile a little—his energy was just that infectious.

“I’m fine,” you answered, voice softer than usual. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be at the dorms? It’s late.”

Sunoo laughed, brushing a bit of his hair from his forehead. “I stayed behind. Had to re-record some of my lines for Karma. I think I messed up a vowel or something—Jake-hyung said it sounded like I was crying.”

You let out a soft laugh, the tension in your shoulders easing just a bit. “Well, at least you got it done.”

He nodded. “Barely.”

For a moment, it was quiet again. Your phone dimmed in your lap, screen turning black.

Sunoo glanced at you from the corner of his eye, fingers fidgeting with the ring on his thumb. And then—very softly: “Noona… can I ask you something?”

You turned your head to look at him. His brows were drawn in slightly, lips pressed into a pout that made him look younger than he already did.

You nodded. “Sure.”

He hesitated.

“Do you hate us?”

The question landed like a pin drop in a silent room.

Your brows furrowed. “What?”

He looked at you this time. Really looked at you. “Me. The guys. Heeseung-hyung especially. You kind of… look like you do.”

“I mean,” Sunoo rushed to explain, hands flailing slightly, “it’s not that we want you to like us or anything! Well—I mean—it’d be nice, I guess, but—”

He huffed. “I just mean that you always look like you’re ready to run the second practice ends.”

You bit the inside of your cheek.

“I don’t hate you,” you said eventually. Quiet. Honest. “I just don’t know you.”

Sunoo nodded slowly, looking like he was trying to understand. “And Heeseung-hyung?”

You paused.

Then shook your head. “I don’t know him either.”

“But you… don’t like him.”

You let out a breath, turning your gaze away. “I don’t trust him.”

Sunoo’s mouth parted slightly, like he wanted to ask why—but something in your expression must’ve warned him off. Instead, he just tucked his hands into the sleeves of his hoodie and nodded slowly.

“That’s fair,” he said. “I just… I think he really wants you to.”

You looked at him, startled. “Wants me to what?”

“Know him,” Sunoo said, shrugging. “He sucks at it, obviously. Like really, really bad. But I’ve never seen him get so quiet around anyone before.”

You didn’t say anything.

Not because you didn’t have anything to say—but because you didn’t know what to do with that.

“Heeseung-hyung’s usually…” Sunoo twirled a finger in the air, searching. “I don’t know—composed? Effortless? He walks into a room and owns it. Like, even when he’s being a dumbass, he’s a confident dumbass.”

You snorted quietly despite yourself.

“But with you?” Sunoo tilted his head. “He gets all… careful. Like he’s afraid he’ll breathe wrong and piss you off more than he already has.”

Sunoo offered a small, almost sheepish smile. “I think you scare him. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.”

He let that settle for a second, fingers absentmindedly fiddling with the hem of his sleeve before he added, “But… it’s weird. Seeing him so hung up over something somebody said.”

You glanced at him, but he wasn’t looking at you. He was just gazing ahead, voice softer now.

“I thought he let go of that since I-LAND, you know?” Sunoo continued.

“All the doubts, the overthinking. He’s worked so hard to be… sure of himself. Confident in what he does, who he is. But you—” he paused, almost amused, “—you say one sentence and he looks like he’s about to rewrite his whole personality.”

You still didn’t say anything, because… what could you say to that?

Sunoo looked at you now, not accusing—just honest, open, like someone who’d seen the best and worst of the people around him and still chose to believe the best anyway.

“I just hope you let him in soon,” he said, voice steady. “And us too.”

You blinked.

“Heeseung-hyung’s really nice if you get to know him,” Sunoo added.

“A little dramatic. Kinda dumb sometimes. But he’s not the person people make him out to be.” Then, a small laugh escaped him. “You should see how many playlists he makes for songs he never finishes. Or how he hums when he brushes his teeth. It’s stupid.

You smiled despite yourself.

Sunoo tilted his head, smile gentler now. “Just… don’t write him off too quick, noona. He’s not perfect. But I think he’s trying.”

And for a moment—you didn’t feel like arguing.

“Anyway,” Sunoo said, standing slowly and brushing imaginary lint off his pants, “thanks for letting me sit here. I’ll see you tomorrow, noona.”

You nodded wordlessly, watching as he offered you one more smile before turning and walking off down the hall.

And when he disappeared around the corner, you leaned back against the couch and stared at your phone again.

Only this time, you weren’t scrolling.

Just sitting there. With your heart beating too loud in your chest.

And wondering why Lee Heeseung—of all people—wanted you to know him.

You sighed, dragging a hand through your hair and sinking further into the cushion behind you, head tipped back to stare at the ceiling.

Sunoo’s words echoed in your head.

“I think you scare him. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.”

You didn’t mean to scare him.

You just didn’t know him.

All you knew was the rumor mill: that he toyed around with backup dancers. That he used to date one. That he left her crying and never looked back.

You knew he was a damn good performer. A strong voice. A face that pulled attention. A body that moved like water.

But who was Lee Heeseung when he wasn’t on stage?

You didn’t know. And you hated that not knowing was starting to bother you.

“Ugh,” you groaned, frustrated with yourself, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder.

You just needed air.

You paced down the hallway, letting your footsteps echo through the emptying building. The elevators were at the far end—but you slowed when you passed by another open lounge area, tucked to the side.

Three familiar voices. One unmistakable.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” It was Heeseung, his voice cracking mid-sentence. “Like—seriously. I feel like I’m ruining the entire choreography.”

“Hyung, you’re just stressed—” Sunghoon began, but Heeseung cut him off.

“It’s not just the choreography,” he snapped, quieter this time. “It’s her. I can’t even look at her properly without feeling like I’m gonna throw up. Or say something stupid. Or trip on my own damn feet—!”

There was a thud. Probably Heeseung slumping back onto the couch.

“She probably thinks I’m a joke,” he mumbled. “And maybe I am. I don’t even know why I care this much. But every time I see her, I just—”

A pause. A shaky breath.

“I feel like I’m messing everything up. And she hates me for it.”

You stood there, frozen, lips parted slightly as your fingers hovered over the strap of your bag. You knew you shouldn’t be listening. But you couldn’t move.

“Hyung…” Jay’s voice was quieter. Gentler.

“It’s not that deep—”

That was your cue.

You reached for the white AirPods hanging from the keyring on your bag, shoved them in like muscle memory, and walked—like you hadn’t just overheard the guy who’d been dragging his feet around you for two weeks quite literally crumbling over your mere existence.

The soft mechanical chime of the elevator landing saved you from having to hear anything else.

You pressed the button—twice, even though it was already lit up—and stared straight ahead, pretending you didn’t notice the way all three heads turned toward you as you walked past.

Heeseung sat up straighter in his seat, hurriedly wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. He didn’t even try to hide it.

Jay and Sunghoon just looked between him and you silently, Sunghoon with a slow, barely-there shake of his head.

You didn’t look at any of them. Didn’t flinch. Didn’t say a word.

But Heeseung’s stare burned at your back—like he was silently willing you to turn around.

You didn’t.

You stepped into the elevator when it dinged and let the doors close in front of you.

But even as the floor shifted beneath your feet and the numbers ticked downward, you couldn’t shake the image of Lee Heeseung—shoulders hunched, eyes red, voice raw—murmuring that he was the reason everything was going wrong.

And all because of you.

It was barely past ten and the practice room was already flooded with artificial lights—white bleeding in, casting long stripes across the mirrored walls and polished floors.

The speakers hummed softly with the instrumental of ‘Bite Me’, looping from the top as you stretched in the center of the room. Your arms raised above your head, your body bending gently from side to side.

The black crop top you wore shifted with every breath, exposing brief slivers of your waist before you pulled at the band of your white sweatpants to fix it.

Your neck rolled to the side, hair slipping over your shoulder as you exhaled and let your muscles relax.

The door opened.

Your eyes flicked to the mirror.

Lee Heeseung.

Black oversized tee, light gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips, hair slightly damp like he’d just washed his face in a rush. But more than anything, you noticed the puffiness around his eyes—still red, slightly swollen. As if sleep had been a stranger to him last night.

He looked at you.

Just for a second.

And then immediately looked away.

Your mouth pressed into a line as he walked to his usual corner, dropping his duffel bag onto the ground with barely a sound. He didn’t say a word. Just crouched down and pulled out his phone like it held the meaning of life—eyes glued to the screen, thumbs unmoving.

Not even pretending to scroll.

Not even pretending to scroll.

Then let out a quiet breath and shook your head.

“He doesn’t even say hi anymore…” you muttered to yourself, barely audible over the light beat in the background. “God, he’s really that sensitive to me being in the room?”

You shook your arms out and turned away.

It stung. You weren’t gonna lie.

Not because you wanted him to talk again. Not because you needed him to smile at you.

But because now you knew. Now you’d heard it—his voice, raw and trembling, saying your name like it hurt to speak.

And still, he said nothing.

You shifted your weight to one leg, crossing your arms as you glanced at the mirror again. He was still sitting there. Same position. Same phone. Same silence.

It was almost pitiful.

Like a kicked puppy in sweatpants.

And you hated the fact that your chest twinged a little at the sight.

Your jaw tensed. You looked away again.

Because you didn’t know what to do with the version of Lee Heeseung who didn’t smile. Who didn’t joke. Who didn’t even pretend to look okay.

And a few feet away, Heeseung exhaled quietly—his shoulders sagging with the weight of something that didn’t seem to lift no matter how long he sat there.

He finally unlocked his phone. But he didn’t scroll. Didn’t tap any apps. Didn’t open messages.

Just stared at his homescreen like it might offer him answers.

The soft hum of the speakers continued. His gaze flickered—briefly, hesitantly—to the mirror across the room.

To you.

You weren’t looking at him.

Of course you weren’t.

You were stretching again, arms over your head as you twisted at the waist, back arched. You looked so calm. So unbothered. So… indifferent.

Like he didn’t exist.

Like you hadn’t told him off. Like you hadn’t jabbed a finger into his chest and practically told him he was worthless. Like you hadn’t shattered him with one glare and a scoff, then walked away like he was nothing.

And still, he looked.

Still, he watched you.

Heeseung swallowed the lump rising in his throat and leaned his head back against the wall, his phone still lit in his palm. A notification came in—a text from Sunghoon probably, or Jay—but he didn’t bother reading it.

He ran a hand over his face. Fingers pressing into the skin beneath his eyes.

He wanted to talk to you.

He wanted to explain.

But how the hell could he explain what even he didn’t understand?

Why your voice stayed in his head like a loop.

Why he couldn’t sleep until two a.m. replaying that moment in the hallway.

Why he felt like the air disappeared the moment you looked at him like that—like he was just another arrogant idol who didn’t care.

He bit the inside of his cheek.

And still, you didn’t even glance his way.

The tension in the room hung thick and unmoving until the studio doors creaked open again.

The two choreographers walked in—smiling, laughing about something that died the moment they caught sight of their two lead dancers. You, standing in the center, eyes distant. Heeseung, sat by the wall, eyes lower.

But both of you bowed anyway.

You straightened your posture and offered a polite greeting. “Good morning.”

Heeseung scrambled upright at the same time, tripping slightly over the strap of his gym bag before stumbling into a clumsy bow. “Ah—g-good morning!”

One of the choreographers blinked at the awkwardness before grinning, pretending not to notice. “You two look awake at least.”

They walked toward the mirrored wall, settling their tablets and notes on the low table. One of them looked up and waved a hand toward both of you. “Come here for a second?”

You nodded, not sparing Heeseung a glance as you walked over. He hesitated, then followed behind you. You could hear his footsteps. Could practically feel the distance he was keeping behind you. It was like his shadow didn’t even want to touch yours.

The four of you stood in a half-circle. You to the left, Heeseung on the right. Silence stretching so tightly between you, it might’ve snapped.

But the choreographers didn’t seem to notice. “How’s progress?”

You answered without hesitation.

“It’s going well,” you said calmly. “We’re still polishing the transitions, especially around the solos. Some of the blocking needs tweaking, but otherwise, everyone knows their parts and is keeping up.”

They nodded, taking notes on the screen of one of the tablets. “Good. And you, Heeseung?”

You didn’t look at him. But you heard the way he shifted his weight.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, uh… I’m okay. Just tired. Sorry.”

That awkward laugh of his was barely a breath.

Both choreographers chuckled kindly. “Tired’s normal,” one of them said, smiling. “But that’s not what we wanted to talk to you both about.”

You blinked, waiting.

They glanced at each other. “So, we’ve been reviewing the recordings. And while your initial chemistry was great, things have been feeling… well—tense.”

You froze. Heeseung did too.

“We just want to ask—are you both okay?”

“Yes,” you said immediately, not even letting Heeseung open his mouth.

Your voice was even, firm. Almost mechanical. “We’re just both equally tired. I want to apologize if that’s been noticeable.”

The choreographers didn’t seem entirely convinced, exchanging a quiet look before one of them tapped on the screen again. “We believe you. But we also had a small proposal we wanted to run by you both—especially before filming starts.”

You lifted your eyes. Heeseung did too—slowly.

“If it’s alright with both of you,” the choreographer began gently, “we’d like to request recorded video updates. Just the two of you. Every three to four days.”

Your heart stuttered once.

Heeseung blinked. “Just us?”

“Yeah,” the other said. “Not the group. Not the others. Just your partnership parts. The lifts. The proximity work. The stuff where chemistry matters.”

Your lips parted, but no words came out.

“Again,” they added quickly, “only if you’re both okay with that. It’s just that Heeseung’s got a lot of center time, and your blocking overlaps more than anyone else’s. If you two are more aligned—it’ll elevate the whole comeback.”

You stayed quiet.

Heeseung nodded after a beat. “Understood.”

Of course he’d agree.

You exhaled slowly and muttered, “That’s fine with me.”

One of them smiled. “Great. Then let’s aim for the first clip at the end of the week. You can find a free room or ask staff to reserve the small studio downstairs.”

They moved on, discussing timing and files and where to upload the clips, but you weren’t listening anymore.

Because out of the corner of your eye, you saw Heeseung’s head dip lower again—like the weight of his thoughts was pulling him into the floor.

And suddenly, it was you who didn’t know what to say.

You stood side by side. Silent. Cold. Strangers.

But at least now, you were strangers who had to see each other every three days.

Just the two of you.

And not even the floor could swallow you whole fast enough.

⤷ read part 2 here !

⤷ permanent tagllist — @m1kkso

© 2025 liuhsng — reblogs are highly appreciated and please don’t hesitate to request some fics here if you want me to write anything !

[karikitdemonrp]

Kari sniffled, looking into her papa's eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks as she just sniffled and listened. She looked down for a moment, processing what the hero said and gave a nod while her eyes narrowed a bit in thought. "I... Think I get it." She muttered, voice still slightly trembling as she spoke. She looked back at the projection and sighed. The child slowly backed away from Hawks and went back to look at the journals again, one last time.

There she read a few more journals from her mother. A few from when she was pregnant with her siblings.

"Today is September 29th, I gave birth to my little boy Kitearo a few days ago. It's been exhausting but he's worth it. Lynx has been a huge help in taking care of our son. I looked into Kite's future and I saw he was going to have a lot of siblings. Not my first choice honestly. If you asked me five years ago I would have said two or three kids would be enough, not seven. But it feels right at the same time. While I saw his whole life unravel I couldn't help but feel helpless... But a part of me knows it can't be messed with, even though I want to save my son from an early grave. I'll have to wait until all my kids are born to get the full picture."

Kari frowned, figuring out pretty quick that her mother knew the whole time, or at least had an understanding.

"It's Febuary 23rd. Flo and Fino are a few days old now. I got a bit more of the picture since seeing Kitearo's future. They meet a similar fate. It hurts, but seeing them work hard to protect their youngest sister, a little girl with white hair, something isn't adding up. I know I can't stop it but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt a whole lot."

"It's been a rough few weeks, Shade has been a bit of a handful. Always curious but always quiet which is a bit unnerving. Sure she cries and makes noises but she's more quiet than not. The doctor says she has nothing wrong with her but I still worry. I was able to see into her future. Lynx has his work cut out for him that's for sure. So far I know all my kids and my husband die on the same day, doing the same thing. I can't say for sure where I am but I can make a few guesses. Again that little girl with white hair makes a big appearance. I'll name her Kari. Kari Kana Lee Himura, long name but it looks like it suits her. When she's born I'll hopefully get all the answers and try to write them down."

"Another pair of twins. I'm not super surprised, Lynx had twin younger brothers after all so I think that runs in the family. That and I saw them while looking into their siblings' futures. These two look mirrored, it's kinda cute. I've named them Boom and Beats cuz the symbols on their cheeks are cute music notes. They are the loudest that's for sure, it's funny. I've had so many kids and all of them are so different even though they're under the same roof and have me and Lynx as their parents. I know why they look so different and why their quirks are different, it's a side effect of my quirk after all. But their behaviors and personalities aren't tied to it, I don't think. It's so fascinating to watch them grow and develop... I know I probably only have a few more years to live. I've concluded I die in child birth when giving birth to Kari. I know I'll be leaving behind my family and my friends... But I noted that my nephew is the one responsible for the deaths of everyone, under the control of my sister given his pupils... Something isn't adding up but I'm guessing Kari develops my quirk. If that's the case then she needs to exist. It strengthens our quirk and hopefully she'll be able to help others like I did, in someway. Though that's her choice and I don't want to force it onto her. I'm glad dad talked me into writing that one entry about my quirk, I hope she can read it one day so she can meet me... Well, a snap shot of me. It won't be the same I know but it's better than nothing. I just hope she doesn't hate me or get mad. It's kind of a selfish reason but there's so much going on... I just hope she understands."

Kari sniffled, rubbing her eyes. "I... I don't hate you mom." She whispered after a few moments of silence, hugging herself. "I just wish I knew you." The child gulped and moved to look back at the journal about All of the Above and began taking notes. "But yea, I'm glad grampa talked you into writing about your quirk too... It's gonna help me a lot." She muttered then looked at Hawks. "You think we can go somewhere I can train? I... I wanna try doing this thing mom talks about. I'm not sure if I can get back into that weird mind space thing but... But if I can maybe you can meet my siblings, well a snap shot of them... This is kinda confusing." Kari puffed out her cheeks then went back to writing. "But we don't have to do it today if we can't."

Hawks didn’t speak at first. He just let Kari cry. He didn’t try to hush her or pull her away. He dropped down to one knee so she could lean into him easier, wrapping his arms around her small frame like he could shield her from every painful word she had just read. His wings even curled in slightly, a quiet gesture of shelter.

He held her gently as the sobs came out in waves—her pain wasn’t small, and it didn’t deserve to be treated like it was.

After a long moment, his voice finally came—soft, steady, low enough it didn’t try to overpower her crying but just… sat with it.

“I know, kiddo. I know it hurts. It’s not fair. None of this is. You didn’t get a choice in any of it.”

He tightened the hug slightly, one hand cradling the back of her head.

“But I need you to hear me when I say this next part, okay?” He pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes, his own golden ones steady and full of something more than just compassion—it was conviction. “She didn’t die because of you. That’s not how this works. She died for you. And that’s something only someone who loves their kid more than anything in the world would do.”

His thumbs gently wiped her tears.

“Your mom knew the risks. She was a top pro. She wasn’t someone who walked into things blind. She fought to bring you into this world anyway, Kari. That means she wanted you here. She made a choice—and that choice was you.”

[luvergirl-535]

off-limits, on purpose

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 9.4k

c/w - privateschool!au, paige and nika are rivals, incredibly self-indulgent with little to no plot. read at your own will 😔.

a/n - reworked fic that i had written from a couple years ago, rediscovered, and decided to make pazzi lol. there will be one more part, which will be incredibly unserious and stupid, but what’s new?

extra a/n - i haven’t added any of my italics/emphasis yet (i’m high asf and too tired to do it) but i wanted to release this for yall now anyway! i’ll edit it tomorrow 🙂‍↕️ love you pookie bears

“I just don’t think they’re a very good fit. Not to be rude or anything—I mean, she’s probably super nice—but don’t you think he’s a little out of her league? I mean, a lot out of her league.” Nika smiles a little, amused at herself. “Like, miles out.”

“Stop, I’m so glad I’m not the only one.” Jana picks up her phone and starts searching for something. “Have you seen the picture she posted on her story yet? It’s so embarrassing.”

Nika snorts. “I don’t keep up with what she posts.” But she still looks eagerly when Jana hands her the phone, and her eyes widen when she looks at it. She clasps a hand over her mouth, looking almost nauseated, like she just watched one of those weird animal birth videos they were forced to watch in health class.

Azzi shovels another bite of pasta into her mouth, hoping they don’t rope her into whatever they’re talking about because she didn’t have time for breakfast this morning and she’s hungry, but unfortunately, Jana nudges her and shoves the phone in her face. “Look, Az. It’s bad, right?”

Azzi spares a glance at the photo. It’s a picture of this random girl that she kind of recognizes but doesn’t know the name of, and Jalen, a mutual friend of theirs, has his arm wrapped around her. She has to admit, it isn’t a very flattering picture on the girl’s part. It’s not bad, but not good, either. She looks a little jaundiced, maybe, but that’s just the lighting.

Needless to say, it’s not very interesting. At least not more interesting than her food. So she just says, “Why are we talking about this girl, again? Do any of us even know her name?”

“Well, no—she’s just dating Jalen. And she always stares at us in chemistry.” Nika gives a dainty little shrug. “But that’s the point. She’s…weird. She’s always writing in that little notebook and I’m pretty sure she grows weed in the school greenhouse.

Okay, Azzi has to agree. Whenever she sees this girl, she always has an aroma, and she usually has pit stains, which is, like, a surefire way to knock yourself down a couple of pegs on the social hierarchy.

“We might have to disown Jalen if he keeps dating her,” Jana says, her voice low and conspiratorial, like she thinks Jalen himself might sneak up on them at any moment. “She’ll definitely take him to the dark side.”

“Ew, gross. Let’s hope he has more common sense than that.”

Azzi pulls her phone out of her pocket, officially bored of the conversation. The gossip has been lame today, with Jalen’s new love interest being the only thing her best friends can seem to talk about. She sort of wishes for something terrible to happen to somebody, like a circulated sex tape or an unwanted pregnancy, but then she scolds herself for thinking that because it’s one of those thoughts that Jana would call ’fucked up’ and ‘crossing a line.’ Jana is the moral compass of the group.

Just as Azzi is about to suggest they go vape in the bathroom or something, a general hush falls over the cafeteria. She recognizes the sudden silence as the same silence that falls whenever she walks into a room. And besides Nika and Jana, there’s only one other person in the whole school who can elicit this kind of reaction.

Nika’s eyes widen at something behind Azzi and Jana, and the two share a look before turning to see what all the fuss is about—though there’s no reason to look. They already know.

It’s Paige Bueckers.

And she’s dressed in the exact same outfit as Nika.

At their private school, there is a standardized uniform that everybody has to wear, which are only slightly less horrid than the standard public school uniforms in their area. Even though they’re expensive and made of high-end fabrics, the student body hates wearing them. They’re stuffy, hard to get into, and the skirts that the girls have to wear squeeze your waist until you’re blue. So, in her freshman year, Azzi, as student body president—three years running, now—fought long and hard to give them all a day every two weeks where they can wear whatever the hell they want.

Some come wearing shorts and bikini tops, even in the winter.

Some come wearing the most outrageous, hideous costumes Azzi has ever seen in her life.

And Nika Muhl? She comes wearing all of her daddy’s money in the form of a stylish top and jeans tailored specifically to her. She makes absolutely sure that every outfit will be nothing any of her peers have seen or even dreamed of wearing before.

And here Paige is—Nika’s self-proclaimed rival and toughest competition—wearing the same exact outfit as Nika, all the way down to the baby pink lipgoss.

Azzi puts her head in her hands and groans. She does not have the energy to deal with the storm that will surely follow this. Not today.

“What. The. Fuck.” Jana’s mouth is slightly open, and she’s giving Paige her most practiced mean girl stare, but Paige couldn’t care less. She struts across the room like she owns the place and sends a chin nod Azzi’s way. The smile on her face is probably the most satisfied, egotistical expression Azzi has ever seen.

After Paige and her little posse have sat down at their respective table, and the noise levels in the caf have gone back to normal, Azzi spares a glance at Nika. On the outside, she looks calm and collected, perfectly unbothered. But Azzi can tell by the way she fidgets with her hair, by the way her cheeks are a touch pinker than her Dior blush usually makes them, that she’s absolutely seething on the inside.

“Oh, my god.” Jana looks at both of them, her mouth still open, and Azzi nudges it closed before she starts drooling or something. “Nika, I…”

Nika puts a hand up, effectively silencing their friend. “Don’t. Don’t even try to talk to me right now. I think I’m going to faint.” She says all of this with a small smile on her face, like she’s gossiping with them about something funny, but her tone is pure venom.

Though Azzi gets scared of Nika in these moments, she decides to speak up. “Maybe we should go to the bathroom and—“

“Don’t be dumb, Azzi.” This is a sentence that is repeated a lot whenever they all spend time together. “Do you know how bad it would look for me if we got up and left right after that?” she shakes her head decidedly. “No. We’re going to sit here and eat our food until five minutes before the bell rings, and then we’re going to go and grab drinks from the cafe before lunch is over. Just like we always do.”

Azzi wants to roll her eyes, because Nika’s really being just a little dramatic about all of this, but her phone dings and she looks at it before standing up. “Okay, well, I’m leaving. I have to piss. Nika—“ she reaches across the table to pet Nika’s hair—“we can work this out later, babe. It’ll be fine until then. You’re wearing the outfit better, anyway.”

“I know that,” Nika snaps, but she leans into Azzi’s hand and smiles just a little.

Azzi blows them a kiss as she walks backwards, her heels clicking on the floors. They both pretend to catch it like the giant dorks they are and then they go back to gossiping, this time more heatedly than before. No doubt they’re talking about how they’re going to get back at Paige for this little stunt.

As soon as they’re distracted, Azzi spins around and makes a beeline for room 203A. This room used to be a counseling office, like, years ago, but then the counselors all got their own classrooms and the school must have forgotten about this one, because it’s relatively small and tucked away in an easy-to-miss hallway. It’s also perpetually unlocked. A perfect hideaway.

Azzi closes the door behind her with a soft click, and she thinks that she’s alone until someone speaks up from a dim corner of the room.

“Hey.” It’s Paige, sitting on top of the counselor’s desk, leaning back against her hands. “That was fast.”

Azzi doesn’t comment on how Paige was the fast one—seriously, Azzi hadn’t even thought she’d left the cafeteria yet—because she’s too upset. She crosses her arms and glares at Paige. “That was a bitchy thing to do.”

Paige raises her eyebrows. “What was?”

Azzi does roll her eyes now, and she rolls them hard. “You know what. I’m going to have to deal with Nika for probably the rest of the week because of you.”

“I mean, you don’t have to.”

“Yes, I do. Because she’s my best friend, Paige.” Azzi leans back against the door, trying to act like she doesn’t want to walk over to that desk and stand in between Paige’s legs. “And it really wasn’t cool of you to mess with her. Not today, out of all days.”

For a moment, Paige’s eyebrows furrow like she’s confused. And then the realization dawns and the easy smile turns to a frown as she slides off her desk. At least she has the decency to look guilty. “Right. Your game. I—“

“Forgot?” Azzi scoffs. She feels sort of bad for making Paige guilty about this, because the whole wearing-the-same-outfit-as-Nika thing really isn’t that big of a deal. But the fact that Paige forgot about her soccer game? She’s been talking about this for weeks. “Yeah, I thought you might’ve. I mean, it’s not a surprise.”

Azzi isn’t oblivious to how Paige is slowly making her way towards her, but she ignores it. “You’ve barely been answering my texts the past couple of days. You haven’t so much as made eye contact with me in Spanish. This is the first time this week that we’re meeting in here, the first time this week that I’m actually talking to you in person.” Paige’s close now, within reaching distance, but she doesn’t touch, which is good because Azzi’s not finished yet. “And I was already kind of pissed at you, Paige, and then you forget about this game when you know it’s important to me. And now I’m really mad at you. Like, really, really mad.”

The corners of Paige’s lips quirk up for just a moment, which makes Azzi even more angry. “That mad, huh?” she almost seems amused, but then she’s frowning again. “Listen, Az, I’m—I didn’t know you were so upset. I didn’t mean to ghost you or anything, I swear. I thought you were fine with the distance, because you didn’t say anything.”

How could Azzi possibly have been fine with the distance? Sure, distance is okay—healthy—but without warning?

Azzi sighs, reminds herself that she’s getting all worked up over next to nothing, that this is just pent-up frustration from the past week. She runs a hand through her hair and looks down. “I guess I just got a little scared.”

“Of what?” Paige asks gently.

“I don’t know.” Paige reaches out and tugs on her wrist, and Azzi lets herself be pulled into her arms, because she’s been missing this closeness all week. She wraps her arms around Paige’s waist, rests her head on her shoulder, breathes her in. “That you found some cooler, smarter, taller girl than me and were planning to, like, dump me in front of the whole school.” She pauses. “Or something.”

Paige takes her upper arms and pushes her back a little so she can look at her face. Paige definitely looks amused now, and Azzi feels silly. “Taller? You think I’m going to leave you because you’re five ten?”

“Don’t laugh!” Azzi hits Paige’s midriff, embarrassed. “I’m serious. You just stopped talking to me out of nowhere and I got scared.”

“No, you’re right,” Paige says, and she seems to be serious now. “I shouldn’t have done that. And I also shouldn’t have forgotten about your game. I know how excited you’ve been for it, but I guess since we haven’t talked a lot this week, it just…slipped my mind.”

Azzi takes a step away.. “Can you tell me why you stopped talking to me?”

Paige shrugs uncomfortably. She avoids Azzi’s eyes. “I guess…I don’t know. We’d just been spending sort of every waking minute together for the past couple of weeks, and I wanted…needed a little space.” She glances up nervously, and Azzi realizes with a sinking feeling that Paige thinks this will make her more mad.

“Paige, you know that’s okay, right?” she cups Paige’s face in her hands, making her look her in the eye. “It’s totally fine to need space. I get it. I was starting to feel a little suffocated too with how much time we were spending together,” Azzi admits. “All you needed to do was say that, and I would have given you space.”

Paige takes Azzi’s hands off of her face and wraps them around her shoulders just as the bell rings. Neither of them pay any mind to it. “I’m sorry I didn’t do that. And I’m sorry for making you so mad. And I’m really sorry for forgetting about your game.”

Azzi smiles softly, because she’s a sucker. “It’s okay. I should have communicated better. But, to be honest, I think I’m just sort of grumpy because I haven’t gotten to kiss you all week.”

“Oh, that makes sense. That’s an unfortunate situation.” Paige nods somberly. “I would be sad about not getting to kiss myself, too.”

Honestly, this girl needs to get her ego in check. Majorly. “Shut up.”

“Not unless you make me.”

Azzi shakes her head at the dumb line, but she leans up and kisses her girlfriend anyway.

Paige presses her against the door, pushes against Azzi’s lips with her tongue, and Azzi opens up for her. They make out like that for a while before Paige kisses her cheek and then traces a wet path down Azzi’s jaw, playfully nibbling at a ticklish spot that makes Azzi giggle.

“Be honest,” Paige says, pulling away to smile at her. “I’m pulling off this shit way better than Nika is, right?”

All Azzi really hears is pulling off, which is certainly something she’d like to do to the outfit because Paige always looks best in nothing, but the thought is concerning enough to make her lean away. She’s never skipped class before, and she’s not going to start now.

Paige senses that their time is almost over, and she slips a hand under Azzi’s shirt, rubbing small circles on her tummy with her thumb. “We’re okay, right?”

“Yeah, P,” Azzi replies honestly, because she can never stay mad at Paige, not when she looks at her like she is now. “We are.”

“Okay.” Paige presses one last kiss against her lips, then takes a reluctant step away. “I love you.”

Azzi blushes, then really hates Paige for making her the type of girl to blush at all. “I love you, too.”

She collects her bearings, and just before she walks out of the door, she says, “And yes, by the way. You’re definitely pulling it off better than Nika.”

She gets to her class only ten minutes late, but Jana still looks at her weirdly when she walks in. Azzi doesn’t know if the look is because of her tardiness or the probably stupid smile on her face.

“What’s up with you?” she whispers when Azzi sits down, immediately handing her one of her earbuds to share. “Did you take a really good shit in the bathroom or something?”

Azzi shoves her. Jana says gross things sometimes. “No. Just hit my pen.”

Jana hums suspiciously, then gets back to the writing exercises that they’re supposed to be doing. Azzi pulls out her laptop to do the same, relieved that Jana’s not going to interrogate her like Nika most definitely would.

But as she’s moving onto the second exercise, Jana brushes a thumb over her jaw and says, “Is that lipgloss?”

Usually, Azzi is very good at controlling her reactions, but now she lifts a hand way to quickly to cover the side of her jaw that Paige was kissing just minutes earlier. She can’t believe she didn’t check herself in the mirror before coming to class.

“It looks like the lipgloss Nika’s wearing,” Jana comments. Azzi clears her throat and brings her pencil back to paper, trying her very best to act nonchalant.

“Yeah, she kissed me on the cheek earlier. It must have smudged.”

Azzi feels Jana’s eyes burning into the side of her head, but still she looks firmly down, refusing to give anything for Jana to catch onto.

Eventually she just shrugs. “Oh. Okay.”

She hardly sounds convinced.

If you were to ask Azzi why she’s secretly dating her best friend’s rival, she would tell you it’s because the secrecy, the sneaking around, the Romeo and Juliet-esque relationship, is exactly what makes dating Paige Bueckers so fun.

This, of course, would be a lie.

The real reason is because Azzi doesn’t think she’s ever met anyone who can make her feel quite the same way that Paige can, nor does she think she ever could. Which may sound a little pretentious and naive, but it’s how she feels.

Paige brings her flowers for no reason at all. Paige listens when she talks about her absentee dad and insufferable mom. Paige lets her lean on her shoulder when everything else in her life is just a little to heavy for her to bear on her own. And, maybe most importantly of all, Paige is, like, a really good kisser.

It all sounds so cliche and juvenile even to Azzi’s own ears, but to her, what they have is maybe the most substantial thing in her life.

Which makes her feel beyond guilty, because since when does she betray her best friends? Has she forgotten how Nika was the first person to ever really listen to Azzi, to talk her through any and every problem she may have? Or how Jana is the only person in the entire world who can help Azzi breathe through a panic attack, who can sense when something is going on at home?

Her friends aren’t artificial. Her friends are just as real as Paige is. Her friends don’t deserve to be left out of the loop of such an important aspect of Azzi’s life, and they certainly don’t deserve for Azzi to turn around and stab them in the back like she does every single day, like she’s been doing every single day for the past three years.

But Azzi is happy with Paige. Happy with her in a way she isn’t with her friends. And, despite all her flaws and all the admittedly mean things she’d said about people in the past, doesn’t she deserve to be happy?

“I can leave, if you want.”

Azzi bites her lip and glances over at Paige, who’s watching her cautiously. She wants to ask Why? or Did I do something? But she knows exactly why Paige’s offering.

She’s having a bad day. She woke up wallowing in her insecurity and has spent the day an anxious ball of guilty energy. She really should have said no when Paige offered to come to her place after school to study, but she thought maybe the company would make her feel better.

Instead, it might be making her feel even worse. All she can think about is how terrible of a friend she is and how terrible of a girlfriend she is and how she’s also sort of a bad person in general.

So, obviously, she’s a little irritable and more than a little distant. When Paige kissed her when they got up to her bedroom, she pulled away almost immediately; when Paige reached over to hold her hand while they were doing homework, she let go as soon as possible under the guise of needing to find a new pencil; and just now, while Azzi was questioning her place in this world and why she deserves it, she had shrugged Paige off when all she did was lay a comforting hand on her shoulder.

It makes sense why Paige would want to leave. But, as badly as Azzi’s PMS-ing today, she still doesn’t want Paige anywhere else but here.

So, she replies with an earnest, “I don’t,” and when Paige looks at her skeptically, she reaches up from her place on the floor and lays a palm on the bed where Paige’s sitting. Paige puts her hand over Azzi’s, albeit tentatively, and looks at her expectantly.

“I’m sorry,” Azzi says with a pout, trying to forget guilt and self-deprecation and just letting herself enjoy holding Paige’s hand, enjoy being in her space. “It’s just been a hard day. I shouldn’t take it out on you, though.”

Paige slides off the bed, sits next to her on her plush carpet. “Did something happen?”

Azzi pulls Paige’s hand into her lap and twiddles with her fingers. “Not specifically. I just woke up feeling bad and pretty much everything that’s happened today has made me want to cry.”

“I could kinda tell,” Paige says, and Azzi worries that she was too obvious about it, but Nika and Jana spent all day with her and they didn’t say anything. Azzi thinks Paige is probably an empath, or maybe she’s just attuned to Azzi’s emotions by now. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want me over, but I figured I’d ask just in case and when you said yes I thought it’d make you feel better to have someone around. But if you want to be alone, that’s totally fine.”

“I don’t. I think I’d be lonely if you left and then I probably would cry.”

Paige smiles, opens her legs, a silent invitation much like Azzi’s hand on the bed, and Azzi doesn’t hesitate to move and sit between her legs, leaning back against Paige’s chest, letting herself be held and not feeling suffocated by it.

“If I were a really evolved, in-touch-with-emotions type of girl, I would tell you that you probably should cry,” Paige says, face nuzzled into Azzi’s neck. “But I say we just drop the homework and kiss until your mom gets back instead?”

Azzi giggles, presses her lips against Paige’s, and they do just that. And Azzi is very glad for a girlfriend who has such good ideas, because this is definitely more fun than crying.

Having a secret relationship is probably one of the hardest things Azzi has ever done. Of course, having a secret relationship can never be easy, but Azzi thinks she has it especially bad because the very friends that she is trying to hide Paige from also happen to be very nosy and very susceptible to barging into Azzi’s house without any warning whatsoever.

Usually, Azzi and Paige are doing something like making out on Azzi’s bed whenever Nika or Jana invite themselves into Azzi’s home. It’s always pretty nerve-wracking, but it’s also not that difficult to just shove Paige under her bed or into her closet the moment they hear Jana’s yelling or Nika’s loud-ass laugh in the hallway. Of course, the fact that Paige has to sit in a cramped space until they can find a way to properly sneak her out is unfortunate, and it’s also sad when their time together is cut so abruptly short, but they usually just end up laughing about it later. No harm done.

Today, though, is different.

Paige and Azzi are not in Azzi’s room today, because they are in the kitchen instead, baking cookies.

Azzi’s mother is out on a trip with her latest boyfriend, and her brothers are out doing whatever they do on the weekends, leaving the entire house to her. Which means they don’t have to hide out in her room like they usually do.

Of course, maybe baking was a mistake, seeing as neither of them exactly know how to bake. There’s flour everywhere, the cookie dough has a weird texture, and they’ve spent more time ‘taste-testing’ than actually baking.

But, still, Azzi is having more fun than she’s had in a really long time.

“This is a good look for you,” Azzi says, inspecting the flour stuck to Paige’s eyelashes. “The white really brings out your eyes.”

“Oh, yeah?” Paige bats her eyelashes, then pulls Azzi in by the waist and kisses her.

Azzi pulls away, nose wrinkled. “You taste like flour, Paige.”

Paige kisses her nose, then her jaw, then her ear before saying, “That’s probably because you threw flour at me. Like a psycho.”

Azzi wants to tell her that she didn’t mean to throw it, it just flung out of the measuring cup when she slipped on the oil that Paige spilled earlier, so really it’s her own fault that she’s covered in flour, but Paige is kissing her neck and pressing her against the cupboards, and all she can really do is sigh contentedly.

After a minute, Paige grabs the bottoms of her thighs and lifts her onto the counter, probably so she doesn’t have to bend down so much to kiss where she wants to. Azzi gasps when Paige sucks at her collarbone, and she tangles her fingers in Paige’s hair, and she’s just worrying about the cookies and how they’ll probably burn if they get any more distracted when the front door opens.

Paige detaches from Azzi’s neck, though her hands stay underneath her shirt, still playing with the wire of her bra. “What—“

“Az!” it’s Nika. Of course it’s goddamn Nika. “You’re home, right?”

“Azzziiiii,” sings a second voice. Jana. “Azzzziiiii!”

Paige tries to say something else, and Azzi shoves her face in her chest to silence her while she tries to think. The front entryway leads into the living room. There’s a door from there that leads to the kitchen. If Nika and Jana decide to check the kitchen first, then Azzi and Paige are screwed.

Azzi holds her breath, clutching anxiously at Paige’s head as the footsteps get closer. The girls are still calling for her, and Azzi thinks she hears them pause outside the door, but the next second the footsteps get fainter as they walk towards the staircase.

“Shit,” Azzi mutters, releasing her girlfriend’s head. “That was close.”

Paige rubs at a spot on her scalp where Azzi must have dug her fingernails in too hard and glares. “You didn’t tell me they were coming over.”

“I didn’t know they were coming over.”

“They’re kind of shitty friends. They always show up without asking you if it’s okay.”

There are a lot of downsides to dating somebody who hates her best friends, but the biggest one is probably the arguments they get into whenever Paige says things like this and Azzi gets defensive.

She slips off the counter, straightens her shirt, and gives Paige a little shove towards the door. “They knew I was home alone. They had no reason not to come over.”

Paige pouts at her. “I don’t wanna leave.”

“You have to, Paige.”

“Why?”

“Because you just do.”

The pout falls, turns into a frown that is much less cute and much more angry. “Kick them out instead of me.”

This takes Azzi aback. Paige has never asked for such a thing, has never questioned it when Azzi has to choose her friends over her. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Paige’s tone is challenging, and she crosses her arms over her chest. “Why can’t you just tell them that you don’t feel like hanging out today and ask them to leave?”

Azzi hesitates. The change in the atmosphere has thrown her for a loop. A minute ago, they were kissing, and now Paige looks like she’s rearing up for a fight that Azzi doesn’t want to have. “I don’t know. I don’t really want them to leave, Paige. I like hanging out with them.”

“You see them all the time at school,” Paige says. “You’re with them every weekend. If I don’t ask you to hang out a week in advance, you’ve already made plans with them. Moments like these—“ Paige motions at their surroundings—“are getting way too fucking rare. And even when we do hang out, this always ends up happening. You have to sneak me out like I’m some dirty secret when they show up unsolicited, because you choose them over me every fucking time.”

“You were just saying you needed space because we were spending to much time together, and now it’s not enough?” It’s silly, but all Azzi can think about is how she and Paige made a rule to never cuss while they’re angry at each other, and Azzi finds herself wanting to bring that up rather than face this poorly timed argument. Instead, she just tries to keep her voice down because the footsteps from overhead are getting louder. She sighs. “Now isn’t a good time for this, Paige.”

“Of course it isn’t.” Paige scoffs, runs a hand through her hair, and grabs her phone off the kitchen counter. “You know what? Fuck you, Azzi.” And then she turns around and just…leaves.

Azzi stares after her, even after the kitchen door has closed and her footsteps have long disappeared.

Her phone starts ringing. The sound startles her into movement, and she looks around, realizes Paige left her sweater sitting on the island. She hides it. Then, she answers the phone.

“Where are you?” Nika says accusingly. “Your car is in the driveway, so we know you’re home.”

“Are you guys over?” Azzi asks, trying her best to sound aloof rather than panicked. “I’ve had my earphones in for the past, like, hour. I’m in the kitchen.”

“Since when do you even step foot in your kitchen?”

“Since today, I guess. I’m making cookies.”

“Okay, we’re coming down.” On cue, Azzi hears footsteps descending the staircase. “Hold on.”

Nika hangs up, then appears in the kitchen with Jana a second later. “Hey, pretty.”

Azzi takes a shaky breath and smiles. “Hi.”

Jana stares at her. “You have flour on your neck.”

Azzi wipes it away, unworried about whether it was left in the shape of Paige’s lips or not.

“We thought you might be bored, all alone in the house.” Nika wanders around the kitchen. They hardly ever come in here, because Azzi has a mini fridge and candy stash in her bedroom and Nika’s house is where the good snacks are at, anyway. “Obviously we were right. You were reduced to baking cookies.”

Azzi tries for a laugh. Nika seems completely unaware of her strange behavior, but Jana is still looking at her intently. “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah.” Azzi can never lie to Jana, so she says, “I mean, I sort of have a headache, but it’s okay.”

Nika hoists herself onto the counter, sitting at the same spot Azzi was a few minutes ago, when Paige was here and close and warm. “Want to go shopping later?”

Azzi nods, and can’t help thinking she’s made a terrible mistake.

The first time Azzi met Paige, she was fourteen.

Paige was some sort of basketball prodigy, a year older than Azzi and yet playing at a higher level than any other sophomore, and when Azzi saw her standing at the front of her lit class, introducing herself all-too confidently, her first thought was that she was very, very pretty.

Her second thought was that Paige could fit in perfectly with Azzi and Nika and Jana. This was her first mistake.

When she told Nika about it later that day, her best friend was furious. She told Azzi about how Paige had already tried to one-up her in debate club (which was Nika’s thing) and had also already been named the school’s basketball star before even playing in a game (also definitely Nika’s thing).

Obviously, this new girl was trying to take Nika’s spot as queen bee. Azzi still didn’t see why Paige couldn’t just join their group and be with them rather than against them, but Jana seemed to agree with Nika on this one, so she was sort of outnumbered.

Paige found her own group of friends soon enough, and the rest of the year was spent as some sort of long competition between the two groups—Who can silence a room the fastest? Who can wear the most expensive clothes? Who can throw the best parties?—and neither one of them ever came out on top. It was a constant tug-o-war.

For some reason, Nika was under the impression that since Paige was from a different state, that meant she was only going to be in Virginia for a year before she moved away again. Nika spent the whole summer singing about how the next year was going to be a fresh start, an amazing, Paige-less year—she was ecstatic.

(One June day, Azzi was out shopping with her brother and she saw Paige browsing one of the shops. They made eye contact. Paige waved, and Azzi smiled shyly. It was their first real interaction besides sharing blushing glances in class.

Azzi didn’t tell Nika about that.)

After the interaction, she found herself hoping that, since Paige hadn’t moved away by June, it meant she would still be around for the school year. It was no surprise to her, then, when Paige walked through the doors of the high school on her first day as sophomore, looking really cute in her school uniform.

Nika nearly fainted, and Azzi pretended to be shocked and angry when really she was just hoping for a chance to speak to Paige this year.

And then they got paired up together for the biology assignment.

“Hey,” Paige had said after the teacher had announced their partners and instructed them to go to each other’s desks to get to know one another. “You’re Azzi.”

Internally, Azzi was flipping her shit. She had never seen Paige up close before, and she was even prettier when she was standing right there. Plus, there was a pink tint to her pale cheeks and she was wringing her hands nervously, which let Azzi know they were feeling more or less the same way.

But on the outside, Azzi was as cool as a cucumber. She was known for her I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude and effortlessly pretty smiles, and squealing at Paige’s closeness would be a foolproof way to ruin her brand.

“Yeah, I am,” she replied, and then she thought of Nika. She couldn’t keep something like this from her. She still didn’t understand why Nika and Paige hated each other so much, but she was in no place to argue against their little rivalry. All she could do was try to stay loyal to her best friend.

But that didn’t mean she had to be a bitch to Paige. Paige seemed nice, and if she was okay with setting she and Nika’s strife aside to be friends with Azzi, then Azzi was perfectly fine with that, too. Even if the friendship had to stay a secret.

Nika freaked when she found out, of course. She gave very specific instructions to Azzi—don’t speak to her unless it’s about the assignment, don’t let her into your house, and don’t, under any circumstances, tell her anything about the group. Anything and everything she said could be used against her, against them, as blackmail.

Azzi broke basically every one of these rules within the first week of she and Paige’s partnership. Because Paige was cool, and funny, and she told good stories and turned out to be a great listener. And, again, she happened to be very nice to look at.

They got an A on that assignment, and Paige didn’t stop coming over after they finished it.

Needless to say, Azzi soon realized why she got all giggly and nervous around Paige—it was because she had a crush. Which brought on a whole slew of identity crises and a lot of looking back at certain events in her life and thinking Oh, that makes so much sense now, but the side effects that came with realizing she was queer could be saved for later.

For the moment, all she could think about was how maybe, maybe, Paige just might have felt the same way.

Azzi spent a lot of time picking petals off flowers, she loves me, she loves me not, and analyzing basically every single thing Paige said and did while they were together. Paige grabbed her hand at a jumpscare in the movie, did that mean anything? Or what about when Azzi caught her staring and she looked away and blushed—that had to mean something, right?

The end of the year rolled around before Azzi could figure out if anything actually meant anything. Paige and Azzi made plans to see each other over winter break. The night after the last day of school, Paige showed up at Azzi’s front doorstep and said, “I like you a lot, and I don’t want to end the year without kissing you,” and Azzi said, “We’re seeing each other on Wednesday, silly,” and then she leaned forward and kissed her for the first time.

All promises about staying loyal to Nika flew out the window the minute their lips slotted awkwardly together, but that didn’t matter so much to Azzi anymore.

She’d pulled away and said, “We won’t tell Nika about this, right?”

“No,” Paige replied. “I guess not.”

And that’s how their relationship started—with a secret friendship and a hidden first kiss.

They are used to their world being confined in a tiny locked box, never to be opened by anyone but them. But worlds can’t grow, Azzi will come to learn, without space.

The curious thing about Paige is that she’s the type of person who looks like she could never, ever get angry, let alone at someone she loves as much as she loves Azzi. But then you catch yourself saying the wrong thing, or stumbling over your words at the wrong time, and she explodes, because when all that time you thought she was simply a happy, contented girl without a hateful bone in her body, she was really letting the anger sit just underneath her skin to fester.

Paige does not explode, however, in the way that explosions usually happen. Even when the anger bubbles up to the surface and bares its ugly teeth, she is quiet about it. She doesn’t scream, or demand answers, or stomp her feet and yell. She looks you in the eye, says what she wants to say, and leaves.

She leaves, and she takes your heart with her.

It has been four days since Azzi and Paige fought. Or, to put it more accurately, since Paige fought and Azzi sat there like a stump. A stupid, clueless stump. Azzi has been trying to contact her girlfriend basically every spare minute she gets since then, but there has been nothing. Paige’s ghosting her.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. Last year, they got into a fight much bigger and louder than this one, and in the middle of it Paige had said something like “I can’t do this anymore” before walking out the door.

Paige had no idea, then, that Azzi’s father left them after a big fight with her mother. She did not know that he had said almost the same words, worn almost the same expression as he walked away as if it were nothing.

Azzi panicked, surprised by the likeness of it all, surprised by her own reaction to it, surprised that Paige could leave her as easily as he did. Her mom found her in the bathroom, trying and failing to breathe properly because she’d driven somebody away again.

She was scared of the rejection that would surely come with reaching out, but she did it anyway, sending Paige one long text and reminding herself that this is why she doesn’t let herself care about people too much when Paige didn’t respond.

But the next day, Paige knocked on her bedroom door with a bouquet of flowers and begged to her, please, I’m sorry, I love you, and Azzi told her about her past, about why her dad isn’t around anymore.

Paige held her, and said, “I will never leave you again. I will stay right here forever. I promise.”

And yet, here they are. And maybe that’s what hurts the most.

But Azzi knows that, this time, Paige is not the one who needs to apologize. So, after four days of radio silence, she shows up at Paige’s doorstep after school when she is supposed to be at a soccer game, because Paige was right. Azzi has had to choose between Paige and everything else in her life for a long time, and she always goes for everything else when she’s pretty sure that Paige is her everything. So, here she is, missing a pretty important match, freezing her ass off on Paige’s front porch, and hoping that Paige will just answer the door and give her a chance to explain herself.

The door opens, but it’s not Paige. It’s Paige’s stepmom. “Oh, Azzi. Hi, honey.” She looks quite confused, for some reason, but not angry, which makes Azzi think Paige hasn’t told her family about what happened.

“Um, hi. Is Paige home?”

The confusion on her face deepens. “No, she went out with KK about a half hour ago. Said they were going to watch your soccer game.”

Azzi stops. She stops because this whole time, these past ninety-six hours, she has been terrified because Paige left. But now Paige is trying to come back, despite everything.

“Thank you,” Azzi says, and then she walks back to her car and pulls her phone out of her pocket just as it starts ringing.

“Azzi,” Paige says when she picks up.

“Where are you?” Azzi asks, because she needs to apologize in person.

“I’m at your house. I—I went to the school, to see you, but you weren’t there, and you’re not at your house either.”

“I know. I came to see you. It was more important than the match.”

There’s a pause, and then Paige exhales something like relief. “Come to me?”

Azzi starts her car. “Always.”

When Azzi was little—when her parents never fought, before her younger brothers were adopted—she had a universe for a bedroom.

Now, this is a very well-kept secret of Azzi’s, but she was sort of lame back in kindergarten. Her father was really into astronomy, and Azzi was able to read the stars like a second language before she ever opened a book. So, for her fourth birthday, all that she asked for was a space-themed bedroom.

She fell asleep in her older brother’s room the night before her birthday. And when she woke up, she had been magically transported to her own room, except it wasn’t her own room anymore. It had been professionally painted, and murals of all the planets in the universe had been painted on every wall, making her feel like she was taking a walk through the sky. The ceiling was split into two halves: on one side, there was the sun, this giant fiery ball of yellow that Azzi was sure would fall down on her if she wasn’t careful—and on the other, the moon sat not quite as bright nor quite as extraordinary as its counterpart, but Azzi thought it must have been much less lonely because it had all the stars and constellations for company and the sun only had itself.

That night, her parents lay in bed with her. Her dad pointed out all of her favorite constellations which the painters had so carefully constructed, and her mom stared around the room with something like wonder.

“So, we got you the universe,” her dad had told her as he tucked her in, after her mom had already left the room. “How can we top that for your big O-five?”

“Don’t be silly, daddy,” she’d giggled. “I can’t have the whole universe.”

“Why not?” he’d asked.

Azzi found that she didn’t know how to answer him.

It starts to rain while Azzi’s driving, and usually she would slow down because it terrifies her to drive in the rain, but today she can’t seem to be that scared of hydroplaning or careening or dying because all she can think about is how Paige hates the cold and she’s standing outside of Azzi’s locked, empty house with nothing but the roof over the front porch as shelter.

She gets to her house in ten minutes, which is a record time considering it’s a busy Saturday afternoon and there’s traffic lining every street. Paige is sitting on her porch in a t-shirt and baggy jeans when Azzi pulls into the driveway, and she gets out of her car, passes by without even looking at her to unlock the door. She hears her stand up, take a step towards her. “Azzi—“

She opens the door. “Let’s get inside. You’re gonna catch a cold.”

Paige looks at her a little hesitantly, but she does what Azzi asks anyway.

Once they’re inside, Azzi splays her palms over Paige’s forearms, thumbs rubbing at her cold elbows, animosity and fear forgotten for the moment, overpowered by the need to take care of her girlfriend. “How long were you outside?”

Paige stares down at Azzi for a moment, looking at her as if this is some sort of trick. “Azzi…” but Azzi levels her with a look that says later, and she relaxes a little. “I don’t know. At least ten minutes, I guess.”

“You should go change. You left your sweatpants over awhile ago. And I have your sweater from Tuesday.” They both flinch a little at the mention of Tuesday, like even mentioning it will take them right back there. Azzi backs away and nudges her towards the hallway. “I’ll make hot chocolate, and then we can talk.”

As soon as Paige is upstairs, Azzi goes to the kitchen and puts the kettle on to boil. She’s trying to think of how she should apologize, how she can make up for all the mistakes she’s made in the past year. Well, almost two years. Their anniversary is in a couple months. Which reminds her that she needs to start looking for a gift, because shipping is slow this time of year.

That is, if she and Paige are still together a month from now, if Paige doesn’t break up with her today. Which, yeah, maybe she’d deserve that because she hasn’t been a great girlfriend. But she doesn’t think she could get over it if Paige broke up with her.

The milk starts boiling just as Azzi starts crying just as Paige walks into the room, dressed in warm clothes and looking pretty enough that Azzi cries harder and turns away, embarrassed, busying herself with turning the stove on low.

Paige doesn’t say anything about Azzi’s sniffles or the way she’s wiping her eyes angrily with the sleeves of her sweater. She just grabs two mugs and moves Azzi’s hands away from the stovetop, pours the boiling water.

Azzi watches her miserably. “I’m supposed to be making it for you,” she hiccups.

“It’s okay, mama,” Paige murmurs, and Azzi knows that this is Paige’s way of comforting her without the risk of getting too close.

Azzi goes into the pantry, mainly to collect herself and to try to stop her lips from quivering anymore. When she comes out with three hot chocolate packets, the tears streaming down her cheeks are silent.

She pours them into the mugs—two packets for Paige, one for herself—and lets Paige stir them in, watching the milk turn brown and creamy.

By the time they’re settled in the living room, Azzi’s properly embarrassed. She hides behind her mug, pulling her legs into herself, and tries to remember how to speak. She’s spent every second since their argument going over how she’s going to apologize, what she’s going to say, what she’s going to do. But now that Paige is here, sitting in front of her looking tentative and a little angry, all of that seems useless. Instead, she blurts out the one thing that’s been in the back of her mind since she realized that Paige came back for her. “Are you here to break up with me?”

Paige sighs, sets her hot chocolate down on the coffee table. “Azzi, no.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” Azzi adds, but the words choke her up again so she closes her mouth.

“Just because we argued doesn’t mean I want to break up with you.” Paige avoids her eyes, picks at the expensive fabric of Azzi’s couch. She says, voice a little shyer now, “I asked you to come to me, didn’t I?”

Yeah, she did.

“Are you…” Azzi peers at her over the rim of her mug, “angry with me?”

“To be honest? Yeah,” she says quietly, like a part of her is scared to hurt Azzi. And it does hurt, a little bit, but Azzi would rather she be honest with her than hide her feelings for Azzi’s sake. “I’m not just angry with you, though. I’m also hurt, and sorta sad, and I miss you a lot, despite everything. And I’m mad at myself for how I handled…everything.” She meets Azzi’s eyes sort of sheepishly, and then shrugs like none of what she said matters.

Azzi opens her mouth to apologize, but instead what comes out is a soft, “I’m proud of you for telling me that,” because it’s always been incredibly hard for Paige to communicate, to put her feelings into words.

Azzi isn’t sure whether her being proud has any substance right now, but Paige’s eyes widen and then she smiles just a little bit, looking back down at the sofa bashfully. “Thank you,” she murmurs.

Azzi hums, and then she puts her hand on Paige’s knee, lightly enough that she knows she can move away if she wants to. She doesn’t move away, though, just lifts her eyes, and Azzi says, vehemently, “I’m really sorry, Paige.”

Paige nods, places her hand over Azzi’s, and watches her expectantly.

“What you said that day…Paige, I’m not going to say I hadn’t noticed the way I’d been treating you. I’m not going to say that I had no idea I’ve been putting you second to everything in my life for awhile now, because of course I did. Every time I chose someone, or something, over you, I was making a conscious decision to do that.” She stops to frown at herself—this is more difficult than she thought it would be. Paige rubs a thumb over her knuckles, gives her an encouraging nod, and that’s enough to make Azzi continue. “I guess it was just easier that way. It was easier to cut you out of my life whenever it was convenient, knowing you would come right back the next day acting like it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Which sucks,” Paige says.

Azzi looks down shamefully. “I know.”

“I know that what we’re doing is complicated,” Paige says, scooting a little closer to her. “But the way you’ve been treating me…it’s mean, Azzi.”

Tears well in Azzi’s eyes when she hears the hurt in Paige’s voice, and hearing that—seeing it written all over her face up close—she understands now the weight of everything she’s done, all the mistakes she’s made. And yet Paige is still here, holding her hand, willing to make this work.

And Azzi is sure as hell willing to change. For her. For them.

“I know,” she whispers again. “I’ve been a really shitty girlfriend.” She wipes a stray tear away with her free hand, and Paige’s lips wobble. She looks away, probably to pull herself together, and Azzi reminds herself of the one-cry-a-day rule that she put in place for herself a few years ago, which sort of helps her stop sniffling. “And I’m really, really sorry.”

Paige squeezes her hand. “I know you are.”

It’s not forgiveness, not yet, but Azzi feels better knowing that Paige knows how sincere she is.

“I could’ve handled it better, too,” Paige says after a silent moment. “I never meant to blow up on you like that, and especially not at such a bad time. I was just…I had had enough, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me sooner?” Azzi asks gently.

Paige gives her a sad little smile. “I was sort of hoping I wouldn’t have to.”

Paige hates conflict, but Azzi knows it’s not about that. It’s about the fact that she shouldn’t have had to talk about it—Azzi shouldn’t have kept treating her like shit until she reached the end of her line. But she did. And here they are.

“Baby,” Azzi breathes, a new wave of guilt crashing over her, and she wonders if she will ever stop feeling bad about this. It’s probably for the best if she doesn’t, anyway.

“I know,” Paige whispers. She takes Azzi’s hand off her knee, and for a moment Azzi is worried that she’s going to turn her away, but she just starts playing with her fingers like she does whenever she gets anxious. “I should have talked about it before I got so angry, though. Or I at least could have picked a better time to yell at you about it.” The teasing lilt in her voice makes Azzi smile a little, but then Paige’s wincing. “And I’m sorry for cussing at you. I feel the most bad about that.”

Azzi has spent the better part of the year treating Paige like she’s nothing more than a second thought, and yet Paige is still apologizing for something so small, so insignificant in the end, and Azzi almost wishes Paige would break up with her, find someone a million times better, someone who can treat her right.

“It’s okay,” she says, knowing Paige won’t let her dismiss the apology. “Hey,” Paige is avoiding her eyes, so she takes her chin, angles her face towards her until they’re looking straight at each other, “I’m going to be better, okay? I don’t care if my friends can’t know about you. I don’t care if it’s easier to keep them from asking questions than it is to ask you to stay. I care about you.” This, most of all, is what she wants Paige to know, because she deserves to feel nothing but loved, respected, cared for. “From now on, I’m going to show it better, okay? I love you. I love you so much I don’t even know what to do with myself sometimes. I want you to know that, even if it feels stupid to say.”

Paige juts her bottom lip out a little bit, and she leans into Azzi’s touch, leans into Azzi, getting close enough to her that Azzi can feel her breath on her lips when she murmurs, “Promise?”

“Promise,” she echoes, and she does. She stays where she is, letting Paige decide whether she wants to move away or close the gap, and she almost gasps when Paige bridges the space between them, even though she sees it coming. It’s a soft, tentative kiss, like they’re trying to remember how to fit together, trying to be gentle with each other in the way they weren’t four days ago, trying to say I love you and I’m sorry and I promise all at once.

It takes a moment to catch her breath when they separate because Azzi’s heart and lungs had already nearly forgotten what it was like to kiss Paige, but by the time she finds her voice again, she says, “Can you promise me something, too?”

Cupping Azzi’s face in her hands, Paige nods and pecks her on the lips.

“If we ever find ourselves here again, please do me a favor and dump me. Like, don’t be nice about it, either. Pull a Regina George and sabotage me, or something.”

Paige stares at her for a moment, and then she laughs, that loud, full laugh that Azzi loves so much. “You’re ridiculous.”

Something inside Azzi slides into place, like she’s been missing a vital organ and just got a life-saving transplant. “I’m serious! You need to have some self-respect, baby.”

“How about,” Paige kisses her again, “we just try not to find ourselves here again. Yeah?”

“Seriously,” Azzi says, more to herself than Paige, “you have such good ideas.”

Paige giggles, calls her a dork, and kisses her. Just like that, everything is right in the world once again.

[dakusan]

First Claim I

Vampire!Seo Changbin x Reader | neck-biting, desk-fucking, plushie-bribing menace who accidentally imprints and panics

🔞synopsis: You’re a human research intern at Luxe Health—smart, stubborn, and the daughter of one of Chan’s closest human allies. You wanted field access. Real data. Real vampires. You didn’t expect to be assigned to Seo Changbin. Cold. Ruthless. Director of Hostile Containment. And now—completely obsessed with you. One blood-slick riot drill, a desk-breaking tension spiral, and a bar incident later, you’re covered in bite marks, plushies, and an illegal contract that says you’re his. You didn’t mean to fall in love. But then again, neither did he.

💌a/n: OH MY GOD I DID IT. I FINISHED IT. FIRST CLAIM I IS HERE. THE “I” IS NOT FOR AESTHETICS. IT’S BECAUSE I HAVE SINNED. 😇 You’re probably wondering why the title sounds like a vampire legal document and also why there’s a Roman numeral in it. WELL. FUN FACT. This fic was supposed to be a single thing. But then I blacked out halfway through writing the office scene and woke up with so many words, 17 plushies, a blood contract, and Jeongin threatening to flee the country. So now it’s in two parts 😇. Second part, click me, to continue reading 💋. Sorry it got this long that I had split p.s. reblog for clear skin, forehead kisses, and a vampire bf who growls when someone else touches you p.p.s. not to be dramatic but Changbin is the reason vampire HR exists now (hi seungmin, he's not getting paid enough for this) p.p.p.s. if you've ever had a thing for dangerous men who call you “baby” while saving your life and then ruin your life… same

⚠️ warnings: 18+ / MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | oral, penetrative (wrap it up people), multiple rounds | breeding kink if you squint | blood-sharing / vampire biting (consensual) | choking (consensual) | marking / possessiveness / claiming | rough sex → soft aftercare | desk sex, couch sex, morning sex | slight somnophilia vibes (you wake him up riding) | jealousy & territorial behavior | Jeongin trauma (comedic)

📌 Please read responsibly. Lock the door. Don’t bleed in front of rogue vampires. Stretch.

📍credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

🎧 » Guilty — Taemin « 0:58 ─〇───── 3:10 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

Your father was one of the few humans who could walk into Luxe Health and be bowed to.

He never wanted the spotlight—didn’t need it. Power, he’d always told you, was quiet. It was in the rooms no one saw. It was in the contracts they couldn’t understand. His pharmaceutical empire made him a billionaire. His shadow investments in vampire medicine made him untouchable.

You’d grown up watching boardrooms turn silent when he entered. World leaders called him by his first name. Vampires—old ones, cruel ones—inclined their heads in recognition. His reach extended beyond patents and patents—he helped build Luxe, quietly backing Chan during the facility’s earliest expansions.

A legacy man, through and through.

And you? You were expected to be his reflection.

But instead of joining the executive suite, you carved a different path. PhD in biogenetics. Trauma recovery specialization. Graduated top of your year. Published early. Interned in high-risk human clinics. Refused nepotism—until now.

Because Luxe was different.

Luxe was where vampire biology met experimental care, where research meant risk. And you wanted in.

You’d stared Chan down during your interview, both of you seated in a private wing lit by enchanted glass and scent-sealed vents. You wore a black turtleneck and a steel charm under your wrist to keep your pulse from triggering a blood response. He wore concern under his professionalism.

“You could work anywhere. Hell, I’ll give you a lab myself.” “I don’t want a desk. I want data. Let me near the real ones.” “You understand this isn’t a simulation?” “I understand blood. I want to see what it does to them. I want to help.” “You get hurt in containment, your father will kill me.” “Then don’t let me get hurt.”

That got a small, reluctant grin out of him.

He still tried to assign you to Bio-Monitoring. You refused. He offered Private Recovery. You declined again. It was only after hours of back-and-forth, after you signed the enchanted consent papers and passed an emergency restraint drill that he finally gave in.

“Fine. I’ll assign you a handler.”

“Who?”

“Someone who’ll hate having you. Which means you’ll be safest.”

Enter Seo Changbin.

Director of Hostile Containment and Physical Defense Operations. Known inside Luxe as The Wall. The Lock. The Enforcer.

He was Normal-born—bloodlines rooted in protection, not politics. His family didn’t scheme. They didn’t climb. They stood in front of danger and took the blow first. The Seo name was legend in containment sectors, and Changbin had turned it into scripture.

He wasn’t like the other executives. He didn’t wear tailored suits or silk-lined coats. You first saw him from across the upper observation deck of Containment Wing B. Tactical gear. Armored sleeves. Twin silver hoop earrings—enchanted for sun protection. He barked orders with the gravel in his voice, hands wrapped in reinforced gloves still smudged with someone else’s blood.

You watched him haul a rage-state vampire back into a suppression cage with nothing but brute strength and clenched fangs.

You said nothing. But you felt your breath catch.

He turned—just once—to look up at the deck, meeting your gaze through reinforced glass.

It was the most silent threat you’d ever seen.

Your official orientation packet didn’t include a welcome. Just your schedule. And a warning scribbled in red at the bottom.

Changbin will meet you in Training Bay Four. Do not be late. Do not lie. Do not bleed.

Training Bay Four

You arrive two minutes early.

The corridor to Bay Four is silent, save for the hum of reinforced lighting and the soft tap of your shoes on vampire-grade flooring. Your badge grants you clearance with a flicker of enchanted silver. You note the biometric seals, the backup vents, the locked cabinet labeled "Anti-Feral Protocol: Class B+".

Cute.

The door slides open.

Inside: dim lights. Floor mats. Medical staging equipment along the walls. A tranquilizer gun laid casually on a side table. And him—Seo Changbin, arms crossed, shirt tight across muscle, sleeves rolled to his forearms like he’s about to kill something and doesn’t want blood on his wrists.

He doesn’t acknowledge you right away. Just glances once. Then keeps inspecting a steel baton in his hand.

You step forward, crisp and polite. “Director Seo.”

He doesn’t look up. “No.”

You blink. “No…?”

“Not Director. Not Sir. Not Handler.” His voice is low, flat. Dangerous. “I didn’t ask for this. So don’t pretend we’re in some stupid chain-of-command arrangement.”

Okay.

That’s the energy.

You clasp your hands behind your back. “Noted.”

He looks up then—eyes dragging over you slowly, not with lust, not yet, but suspicion. Like he’s cataloging every inch of you to determine how much of a liability you’ll be.

Hair tied back. Neutral expression. Enchanted cuffs, like Chan insisted. And a slim tablet tucked under one arm, filled with blank logs you’re meant to fill with field notes.

Changbin stares at it. Then at you.

“You bring that thing near a rage-state vamp and they’ll shatter it into your throat.”

You don’t blink. “Then I’ll take notes after they’re restrained.”

His jaw ticks.

It’s subtle, but you catch it. That flicker of annoyance, or maybe grudging respect, coiled tight in his posture. You know his type—military-minded, logic over emotion. He’s been trained to view anything human and rich as soft, as disposable, as protected by systems he doesn't trust.

You, unfortunately, were designed to make men like him twitch.

“You’re human,” he says bluntly. “I don’t care what degrees you’ve got. If they turn on you, you’re dead before I can move.”

You nod. “That’s why I’ll stand behind you.”

It slips out—a little bold, a little flirty, maybe. You can’t help it.

He scowls.

“Cute,” he mutters. “Let’s hope you’re still standing after your first bleed scare.”

You don’t respond to that. Instead, you cross to the nearest work station and begin pulling on a lab coat—charms embedded in the seams, scent-masking threads at the collar.

He watches you. In complete silence.

“What did you think I’d be like?” you ask, just to needle him.

“Worse,” he replies.

That makes you laugh, short and sharp. “Disappointed?”

He tosses the baton into a bin behind him without looking. The sound clangs off the wall. Then he steps toward you, stopping close enough that you feel the thick static of vampire presence—more force than temperature. Like a shift in gravity.

His voice lowers.

“I don’t care whose name is on your badge. You don’t belong here. That’s not a threat. That’s biology. That’s reality. You’re not built for this floor.”

You tip your chin up. “And yet. Here I am.”

Something flickers in his eyes—rage, maybe. Or something darker. “You bleed, and they’ll tear each other apart to get to you.”

“Then I won’t bleed.”

“And if you cry, I’ll have to restrain them. Not because of the sound. Because they’ll smell it. Because it’ll make you taste better.”

You swallow.

His gaze drops to your wrist. The vein there, soft beneath the cuff.

Then—

“You’re not mine,” he says finally. “That’s why this is a problem.”

And he walks past you. Straight into the containment wing.

The rest of the week is… interesting.

Changbin doesn’t speak unless he has to. You suspect it’s a self-preservation tactic—less words, less risk of snarling them. He prefers barked instructions, curt assessments, and the occasional dry, "Don’t do that," when you dare to observe too closely.

You’re not offended. You’ve been ignored by worse. And at least this vampire doesn’t smile at you with fake charm—he just stares at your pulse like it’s his job.

Because it is.

Still, the chemistry starts to hum beneath everything. Silently. Inappropriately.

Like the time you dropped your pen near an observation cage and leaned down to grab it—and he was suddenly behind you, one hand ghosting your elbow like he’d yanked himself back at the last second.

“Don’t kneel in containment zones,” he snapped.

“Why?”

“You don’t want to look like prey.”

You stood slowly. His eyes stayed on your throat the entire time.

Or when you laughed during an intercom briefing—just a soft exhale, something about the absurdity of rage-state protocol involving the phrase “de-escalate with tone modulation”—and he turned so sharply you thought he’d dislocated his neck.

“Something funny?”

“Tone modulation, Changbin.”

“My tone is modulated.”

“It is,” you grinned. “Modulatedly pissed.”

He looked away before you could see his mouth twitch.

divider

And then there was Hyunjin.

Director of Sensory Magic and Bond-Stabilisation Therapy. Ethereal. Tall. Wears flowy black trousers that are definitely cursed for dramatic effect. Smells like sandalwood and metaphysical trauma.

He appears at 8:04 AM, waltzing into the containment briefing room with a portfolio under one arm and a crystal cup of black tea in the other.

“You’re the intern, right?” he says to you, voice like a lullaby dipped in sarcasm. “Hi. I’m Hyunjin. I specialize in trauma, blood, and unbearable beauty.”

Changbin: sighs like he’s aged six years.

You blink. “Pleasure?”

“Likewise. Your scent is... odd. I like it. Feels like lavender anxiety with a hint of ‘my dad’s the reason this building exists.’”

“That is disturbingly accurate.”

“Thank you. I smell emotions for a living.”

Changbin, already done: “Why are you here.”

“Art therapy,” Hyunjin replies cheerfully. “One of your patients bit a guard and then painted a ceiling mural in dried blood. So now it’s my turn.”

You nod solemnly. “That's either deeply poetic or a workplace hazard.”

Hyunjin gives you a conspiratorial smile, then leans toward Changbin.

“You’re vibrating.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. You’ve been vibrating since she got here.”

“Get out.”

“Oh, I will. But not before I tell you this—”

“The bond lines are reacting.”

A silence falls.

You frown. “What?”

Changbin goes very still. Hyunjin just sips his tea.

“I don’t think there’s a full imprint,” Hyunjin muses, eyes half-lidded. “But there’s a shimmer. Minor resonance. Micro-claim reaction, maybe from proximity or blood compatibility. Nothing formal. Yet.”

“Explain,” Changbin says darkly.

“It means,” Hyunjin purrs, “that your subconscious thinks she’s yours.”

You try not to choke on your breath. Changbin’s jaw clenches so hard you hear it crack.

“Get. Out.”

“Love you too~” Hyunjin sings, walking pleased with himself.

You don’t speak. Neither does Changbin.

He storms past you. You catch the heat in his eyes as he brushes your shoulder—intentional this time—and the word he mutters beneath his breath.

“Fucking bond magic.”

You find him ten minutes later in the weapons sanitization bay, rinsing blood off his gloves like the scent offends him personally. You’ve learned not to speak until the first rinse cycle finishes—he doesn’t like being startled when he’s armed, which is fair, given that his fists are already registered as weapons.

Still, you’re kind of proud of yourself for finding him at all.

“Director Seo,” you say, purposefully polite, like nothing awkward or claim-related was dropped into the air twenty minutes ago. “Reporting for observation duty.”

He doesn’t look up. “You’re not scheduled for containment until this afternoon.”

“I reviewed the schedule. You approved my presence for the morning tier-three briefings.”

Now he looks up.

Slow. Irritated. Maybe impressed.

You smile. Not too much. Just enough to say: you may be terrifying, but I am very smart and very annoying, and I know what I’m doing.

He exhales through his nose and turns to unstrap his arm guards. “You’re exhausting.”

“You’ve barely spoken to me today.”

“Exactly.”

You follow him down the hall.

“So. What’s the plan for the briefing?”

“We sit. We talk about the vampires that tried to kill us yesterday. Then we eat sad protein bars and pray the afternoon isn’t worse.”

“Do I get a protein bar?”

“No.”

“Rude.”

He opens a door with his palm print. You keep walking two steps behind, like some kind of blood-resistant intern duckling.

“Stop following me like that,” he mutters.

“Like what?”

“Like you trust me.”

You pause. Just a beat. “Shouldn’t I?”

He doesn’t answer. Not with words. Just stops at the door to the observation deck, turns on his heel, and pins you in place with one look. Not violent. Not even angry. Just—charged.

His eyes drop briefly to your wrist.

You know why. The cuffs. The enchanted ones. Your pulse hides behind them, but not perfectly. Not anymore.

“That bond shimmer thing,” you say casually. “Is it real?”

His jaw clenches. “No.”

“Hyunjin said—”

“Hyunjin says a lot of shit when he’s bored.”

“But he’s Director of Bond-Stabilisation—”

“And half-little shit. So maybe don’t let him seduce you with theories about what might be humming in your bloodstream.”

You try not to laugh. “You’re jealous.”

He levels you with a stare. “I’m protective.”

A beat.

“Let’s go. You’re already late to pretend you’re qualified.”

The observation deck smells like silver disinfectant and anticipation.

A long arc of reinforced glass separates the interns, researchers, and field techs from the three vampire patients below. Tier Three—partially stable, partially sedated. They pace like sharks in segmented enclosures, each one built to suppress a different aspect of their bloodlust.

One wears a pulse collar. Another has her hands in anti-magic cuffs. The third—

The third just stares at the ceiling, whispering to someone who isn’t there.

You’ve read their files. Watched their intake footage. Memorized their reactions to auditory triggers, temperature shifts, scent stimuli.

None of that prepares you for seeing them in person. For feeling the way the air tightens when their eyes flash toward the deck.

You exhale slowly.

Changbin stands behind you now. Arms crossed, expression unreadable. His presence is less a body and more a barrier—a pressure field humming behind your spine, like even your heartbeat has to ask permission to move.

You speak low. “I thought Tier Three wouldn’t react to observers.”

“They don’t,” he says. “Unless they smell something… interesting.”

You glance back at him. “Am I interesting?”

His gaze flicks down your neck. Just once. “You’re a problem.”

Your lips twitch. “Is that why you’re standing like a vault?”

He doesn’t answer. Just nods toward one of the staffers entering the lower level—tranq cart in hand, ready for standard evaluation.

You go still.

Because the vampire closest to the glass has stopped moving.

He’s looking at the intern. Then, slowly—too slowly—his head turns toward the deck.

His nostrils flare.

And his eyes lock on you.

A sound escapes his throat. Low. Animal.

The lights shift in warning—soft amber glow pulsing into a harsh, sterile white. That means pre-breach aggression. No movement yet. But something is rising in him, and it’s not from visual cues.

“Changbin,” you say quietly. “He’s scenting me.”

Before you finish the sentence, Changbin steps between you and the glass. His hand comes up—not touching you, but close, too close—and his body covers yours like instinct.

“Do not move.”

You freeze. Not out of fear. Out of recognition. This is what he was made for. Not planning. Not speaking. Not strategy. Just this. Standing between danger and what it wants.

The vampire lets out a snarl. Not at Changbin—at you. At your blood. Your presence. At whatever trace has started seeping through your enchanted cuffs.

“He shouldn’t be able to scent me through protocol,” you whisper.

Changbin’s voice is low. Controlled. Not for you—for himself. “He shouldn’t. Which means something changed.”

You swallow. “Is it the bond shimmer?”

He doesn’t answer. Just turns to the observation technician and snaps, “Trigger level-one sedative protocol. Now.”

You don’t speak as the team below confirms sedation, locking the cell with reinforced restraints. Changbin watches the whole process with his arms folded tight over his chest, jaw clenched hard, like he’s holding back teeth and truth in the same breath.

You feel the tremor in your own fingers. Faint. Ridiculous. You’re not supposed to shake. Not after everything you’ve trained for.

So instead—you do what you’re meant to.

You sit. You pull out your tablet. You start writing.

Tier Three Observation Log: Day 7 Time: 14:31 KST Subject: Patient 3 Status: Rage-state response triggered. Sedation successful. Unscheduled aggression. Cause: Unknown.

You pause. Your fingers hesitate over the stylus. Then, slowly, you write:

“Possible external stimulus: researcher blood compatibility breach. Protocol seals potentially bypassed via resonance shimmer.” “Unknown if catalyst is environmental or biological.” “Proximity to Director Seo… may be relevant.”

Behind you, you feel it—the shift in air pressure. Changbin moves.

You keep writing.

“Subject’s behavioral pattern deviated within 5–6 seconds of visual contact. Breathing irregularity noted in researcher. Physical response from Director Seo immediate. Shield positioning, non-contact but full frontal coverage.” “Verbal command issued: ‘Do not move.’” “Researcher obeyed.”

You shouldn’t write that part. But you do. Because it’s the truth.

You stop.

Because there’s a shadow over your shoulder now. His breath, soft. Controlled. Right beside your neck.

“Are you writing about me?”

You don’t look up. “This is observation. You're part of the response system. Therefore, you're in the log.”

He’s quiet.

Then—

“You wrote down that you obeyed me.”

Your throat tightens.

Still, you force your voice to stay clinical. “It was a direct command. I assessed the situation. You were correct.”

He huffs. Not quite a laugh. Not quite not one either. “You always do what you’re told, then?”

You tilt your head. “Are you asking professionally or personally?”

Silence.

Then he steps back, just enough for you to exhale fully again. “Pack up. You’re done for the day.”

You blink. “What? No. That was one anomaly—”

“It was one second from breach. One second from your blood on the glass. You’re done.”

You rise, slowly. “You don’t get to bench me, Changbin. I’m here to learn. I’m not afraid.”

He moves so fast you don’t see it—only feel it. Your back hits the wall. Gently. Caged. Not rough. Not dangerous. Just… immediate. His hand braces near your head.

You could push him away. You don’t.

“Do I make you nervous?” he asks, voice low.

You lift your chin. “No.”

“Then why are you standing like you’ll bolt the second I move?”

Your breath hitches. His eyes drop to your mouth.

“You need to understand something,” he says, voice darker now. “This isn’t a lab anymore. You’re not some ghost in the background. Not to them.”

Not to me, either. He doesn’t say it. But you hear it anyway.

“You bleed down here,” he murmurs, “and they’ll turn on each other just to see who gets to taste it first.”

You swallow. “And you?”

A pause.

“I’m not them.”

His eyes are still on your mouth.

Your breath stutters. The room feels smaller. Like the space between your spine and the wall is folding in on itself. Like if he leaned forward just one inch—

The door hisses. And everything stops.

You both freeze like teenagers caught under the bleachers.

Then: “...Wow,” comes a familiar voice. Flat. Dry. Absolutely done. “Am I interrupting?”

Changbin doesn’t move. Doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t even pretend to look guilty.

You, on the other hand, do the awkward shuffle-of-shame, stepping sideways out of his arm cage like oh nothing to see here despite the fact that you’re flushed, your pulse is audible, and your cuff is glowing faintly.

You don’t have to turn around to know it’s Chan.

CEO of Luxe. Founder. Friend of your father. And currently standing there with his arms crossed like he walked in on two pit bulls mid-mating ritual.

“You know,” Chan says, squinting at Changbin, “when I said ‘protect her,’ I didn’t mean press her into the infrastructure.”

You cough.

Changbin doesn’t react. Just exhales slowly, gaze still on you, dangerously unreadable.

“Nothing happened,” he says.

Chan raises a brow. “Sure. And I’m a priest.”

You attempt to salvage your dignity by fixing your shirt and clearing your throat. “Director Seo was explaining scent-driven aggression. We were discussing field protocol.”

“Yeah,” Chan says. “Your field protocol involves pinning interns to reinforced walls and breathing like a dying wolfhound?”

You frown. “That's oddly specific—”

“—because that’s exactly what I just saw,” Chan cuts in. “Look, I get it. Trauma bonding. Biological resonance. Forbidden attraction. Super hot. Not here.”

Changbin finally turns. “We weren’t doing anything.”

“Your arm was over her head. There was breathing. You were doing something.”

A long pause. You bite your lip.

Chan runs a hand through his hair. Then looks at you. “Are you alright?”

You nod, heat crawling up your neck. “Fine. No contact.”

“No contact yet,” Chan mutters under his breath. “Hyunjin’s going to have a field day.”

Changbin glares.

Chan throws up his hands. “Alright, alright. Just—dial it down, yeah? Last thing I need is her father calling me to ask why his daughter is suddenly branded like Luxe property.”

Your heart skips. Changbin stiffens.

“That’s not happening,” he says, too fast.

Chan raises an eyebrow. “You sure? Because your scent is all over her cuffs. And she’s glowing.”

You glance down.

Shit. Your cuff is glowing. Just faintly. Silver shimmer, almost imperceptible—except you know what that means.

Resonance.

“Fantastic,” Chan sighs. “If you bite her, I’m firing both of you. And also throwing a party, because finally. But then firing you. Definitely that part.”

He turns to leave. Pauses in the doorway. “Oh—and we have a board meeting in twenty minutes. Thought you should know, Bin. Maybe wipe the murder off your face.”

And he’s gone.

The door hisses shut.

Silence.

You stare at the wall for a full beat before turning back to Changbin, who’s now leaning against a metal cabinet, arms crossed, smoldering with quiet fury and something else.

“So,” you say lightly. “That was... educational.”

He exhales.

“I need to kill Hyunjin.”

You grin. “You want to kiss me.”

A pause.

Then: “That’s the fucking problem.”

Your cheeks are burning.

Not in the cute, girlish way. Not in the “oops he caught me off guard” way either.

More like: Changbin just said he wants to kiss you, in that low, ruined voice of his like it physically hurts him to admit it, and now you’re standing here flushed, breathless, trying to decide if you need a cold shower, a therapy appointment, or a restraining order.

And yet, you're frozen in place, mouth open in mild, stunned betrayal of your own hormones.

“I—excuse me?” you manage, voice pitching slightly.

He doesn’t repeat it.

He just turns away, rubbing the back of his neck, muscles shifting under his shirt like anger barely contained by sinew.

You blink. Once. Twice.

Then, with as much dignity as you can salvage: “Okay. Great talk. Loved that. Definitely didn’t almost faint. Gonna go now.”

You turn, fast. Start toward the door like it hasn’t been absolutely defiled by tension in the past three minutes. You nearly trip on your own tablet case.

Changbin doesn’t say anything—of course he doesn’t—but you can feel his eyes on your back. Watching you leave like you’re some kind of… temptation with legs and clearance level three.

You smack the door control.

“See you later,” you call without looking.

“Not if I see you first,” he mutters.

You pause. Glance back. “Was that a threat?”

“No,” he says. “That was restraint.”

Luxe Health: Secure Conference Chamber 04.

The lights are low. The table is long. The vibe is supposed to be “strategic think tank,” but it’s rapidly deteriorating into “eight vampire men trying not to talk about the girl their enforcer wants to throw against a wall.”

Chan sits at the head. Arms folded. Pretending to be in CEO mode.

To his right: Minho—sharp suit, sharper cheekbones, reading a file with the kind of expression that says I will kill you if this isn’t worth my time.

Next: Changbin, still silent, jaw tight, the ghost of that wall scene clinging to his shoulders like scent.

Across from him: Hyunjin, dressed like a cursed gallery curator, twirling a charmed ring around his finger like he knows exactly what happened and will Not Be Normal About It.

Felix, beside Hyunjin, radiating golden-boy calm but quietly watching Changbin like he’s a patient with rising vitals.

Jisung is already bored. Playing with a vial of enchanted hemalixir, mumbling something about “scent stabilization is a myth, unless the girl’s really hot, in which case—yeah.”

Seungmin, pristine as always, flipping pages in the Medical-Legal Binder™ with the calm of someone who has absolutely drafted “What To Do If Your Co-Worker Bites a Human Intern” policy before.

Jeongin sits at the end, very clearly not supposed to be here, scribbling notes like do not flirt with rage-state interns even if they are pretty???

Chan clears his throat. “Alright. Meeting agenda. Let’s start with the containment breach.”

Minho: “Handled.” Chan: “Great. Sedation delays?” Seungmin: “Filed. Disciplinary warnings pending.” Felix: “Patient is stable. No residual psychic fallout.” Hyunjin: “No feedback loops. But there was—” he pauses, smiling slowly “—a resonance flare.”

Seven heads turn.

Changbin doesn’t move.

Jisung: “Like a shimmer?” Felix: “How strong?” Hyunjin: “Enough to make her cuff glow.” Seungmin: “Her cuff glowed?” Jeongin: “Her?”

Minho sets down his file. “Who’s her.”

Chan exhales loudly, temples already throbbing. “The intern.”

Minho stares. “The intern?” Seungmin: “The investor’s daughter?” Hyunjin: “Oh, she has a name now. Fascinating.” Felix: “This was during observation rounds?” Jisung: “I thought she was in Bio-Monitoring.” Chan: “She asked for Containment. I approved it.” Minho: “Why?” Chan: “Because she’s qualified.” Hyunjin: “Because you’re afraid of her dad.” Chan: “Also that.”

Pause.

Then Hyunjin, with all the grace of a panther mid-gossip: “Changbin pinned her to a wall.”

Silence. Absolute silence.

Minho looks at Changbin. Changbin doesn’t blink.

Jisung drops his vial. “WHAT.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Changbin mutters.

Hyunjin: “Oh, you’re right. It was much worse. You said—and I quote—‘That’s the fucking problem.’”

Felix is gasping, Seungmin is writing furiously and Jeongin? Well, his mouth is full open and he's horrified, possibly traumatised but also amazed.

Minho: “Bin.”

Changbin: “Minho.”

Minho: “You touched her?”

Changbin: “I didn’t bite her.”

Chan: “Which was somehow the most shocking part of the encounter.”

Hyunjin, dreamy: “He wanted to. The air was thick. You could feel the denial.”

Jisung: “DID YOU SMELL HER?!”

Changbin: “No.”

Seungmin: “But you’re emotionally compromised.”

Felix: “And scent-bonded.”

Jeongin, whispering: “Does this mean she’s gonna be his?”

Everyone turns.

Jeongin blinks. “I—I mean, that’s how bonds work, right?”

Long pause.

Hyunjin nods solemnly. “He’s right. It’s giving First Claim.”

Chan groans. “Do not name it like a romance novel.”

Jisung: “Too late. That’s what I’m calling it now. First Claim. Sounds hot. Who’s writing the fic?”

Seungmin: “I’m writing the liability clause.”

Minho rubs his temples. “Focus. What’s our next step if this escalates?”

Chan: “We don’t panic.”

Hyunjin: “We monitor.”

Felix: “We support.”

Jisung: “We watch the slowburn unfold.”

Jeongin: “We take notes.”

They all look at Changbin.

Changbin exhales, voice flat: “I hate all of you.”

Hyunjin smiles. “That’s the bond talking.”

Meanwhile...

You sit alone in one of the upper-level staff lounges. Not the fancy one near Chan’s office. The dusty one tucked behind a corridor labeled “Emergency Sanitization Supplies — Floor Two.” Which is exactly your vibe right now: emotionally spilled bleach in human form.

There’s a half-melted iced Americano in your hand. Cold and bitter as sin, and entirely useless at stopping the blush that has not left your face in the past thirty-seven minutes.

You take a sip. Pause.

“Okay,” you mutter to no one. “So maybe you’re a little attracted to him.”

You shake your head.

“No. No. That’s not attraction. That’s a biological stress response. He’s massive. His arms are the size of your thigh. Of course your brain is confused.”

Another sip. Stronger this time.

“Besides. He’s grumpy. Doesn’t talk. Glares like you keyed his car every morning.”

Beat.

“…Which is hot. Ugh. God. Okay. Shut up.”

You lean back in the chair, bumping your head lightly against the wall. Your enchanted cuffs hum faintly on your wrists—still active, still shimmery, still threatening to give away your entirely inappropriate emotional situation at any moment.

“You are not falling for Seo Changbin,” you say out loud, stabbing your straw like it personally offended you. “You are here to research biological trauma responses. Not become one.”

A janitorial bot wheels by. You stare it down.

“Don’t judge me.”

It beeps and rolls off.

You groan.

“Okay, but he did say he wanted to kiss me.”

A beat.

“No. He said that was the problem. Totally different. Very unromantic. Entirely scientific.”

Another pause.

“...Except he looked at your mouth like it was his last meal.”

You let your forehead drop to the table. “I need a new lab. Or a tranquilizer. Or both.”

From down the hall, you hear footsteps. Familiar ones. Heavy. Measured. Your whole body goes still.

“Oh my god,” you whisper. “If that’s him, I swear to every vampire council on Earth, I will throw myself out this window and enroll in accounting.”

You peek over your arm. It’s not him. Just a courier bot.

You sigh in relief. Then disappointment. Then immediate confusion. “I need therapy.”

You’ve just convinced yourself that you’re not in love with him—truly, deeply, definitively not in love with Seo Changbin—when the facility-wide comms system crackles to life.

“Attention all Containment and Observation units: Tier Three Drill commencing in fifteen minutes. Standard breach simulation, sedative protocol live. Assigned teams, report to Deck B.”

You blink.

A beat later, your tablet vibrates with a direct dispatch message.

CONTAINMENT DRILL TEAM C Supervisor: Director Seo Changbin Team Members: Y/N (Intern Observer, Clearance 3), Dr. Lee Yejin, Tech Operative Ryu, MedOps Rep Kwon.

You reread it three times.

“Okay,” you whisper to your coffee. “That’s fine. It’s fine. Just a drill. Just a very physically intense, close-quarters drill... supervised by a man who literally wants to bite me.”

You get up. Straighten your jacket. Slap your cheeks. Mutter something about professionalism and “Don’t you dare look at his mouth.”

And then you go.

Deck B is chaos. Organized, high-security chaos, but chaos nonetheless.

People rushing to prep sedatives. Armored gloves being locked in place. Staff adjusting their neck seals and throat shields. It’s all routine—but there’s a charge in the air, the kind that only happens when danger is about to pretend to be real, but everyone secretly knows it could become real anyway.

You arrive at the meeting point and immediately spot him.

Changbin.

In full Containment gear now. Tactical black, reinforced sleeves, cuffs over his wrists. His enchanted silver hoops glint under the sterile lighting. His face is unreadable, like he’s already halfway in fight mode.

He sees you.

You swallow. “Reporting for drill duty,” you manage, voice mercifully steady.

He gives a curt nod. “You stay behind me at all times. Log what you see. Don’t engage.”

“Got it.”

“And don’t bleed.”

You offer a very dry smile. “I’m aware.”

The rest of the team gathers. You all get briefed, handed mock protocols, sedative vials, dummy tags. Then comes the worst part: the formation split.

They divide you into pairs.

You already know what’s coming.

“Intern Y/N,” the ops tech says. “You’ll be with Director Seo.”

A brief silence follows.

Someone coughs. Someone else definitely smirks. Changbin doesn't blink. Just mutters: “Let’s move.”

The drill progresses.

Zone One: Cleared. Zone Two: Dummy vampire restrained. Zone Three: Simulated aggression triggered by shouting and flashing lights.

Still under control.

Then you reach Zone Four. Where something feels... off. The lights are slower to respond here. There’s a faint hum of magic in the air—sharper than usual. Your cuffs prickle on your wrist like static’s trying to get in.

Changbin stiffens. His hand lifts, a silent signal to halt.

You obey instantly.

The dummy vamp in Zone Four is chained. Supposed to be dormant. Eyes closed, breath shallow—controlled simulation.

But it sniffs the air. Its head twitches. Its eyes snap open. Not red. Black.

“That’s not a dummy,” Changbin says quietly.

“What—”

“It’s real.”

You feel your blood go cold.

“That’s a live rage-state. Someone fucked up the deployment roster.”

The vampire lunges against its chains. The others around you freeze.

The sound that rips from its throat is not an actor’s growl. It’s low. Bone-deep. Hunger manifesting as sound.

“It’s scenting,” Changbin mutters. Then, sharply—“Get her out.”

Someone grabs your arm. Starts to pull you back.

You don’t get far.

Because the vampire speaks. “Yours,” it snarls. Voice distorted. “She smells like yours.”

And then the chains break. Not by accident. Not by wear. By force. It launches. Straight at you.

Everything happens at once.

Screams. Sedatives deployed. Magic barriers flaring—

And Changbin moves. No hesitation. No words. Just speed.

He tackles the vampire mid-air, slamming it against the reinforced wall with a crack that shakes the entire floor. His fangs are out. His whole body is glowing with rage—not hunger, not loss of control.

Claim.

The vampire snarls, twisting beneath him, repeating it over and over: “Yours. Yours. Yours—”

Until Changbin’s hand wraps around its throat and slams it into silence. The vampire chokes once—then goes still. Not unconscious. Held. Crushed into compliance.

Changbin's forearm pins the creature’s chest. His other hand is still around its throat.

Your breath is loud in your ears.

Changbin doesn't move. Not right away. Just stays there, caging the creature against the wall like some monstrous, divine sentinel—fangs bared, gaze locked not on the vampire…

But on you.

Finally, Changbin’s grip tightens.

Crack.

The vampire slumps, unconscious now. Not dead. But close enough. Silence falls, broken only by the whir of containment drones resetting and the hum of the barrier recharging.

A long pause.

Then: “Director Seo,” one of the ops officers says carefully. “We’ll take it from here.”

Changbin steps back. Breathes once. Just once. Then turns to you. His voice is steady, too steady. “You’re off this floor for the rest of the week.”

You frown. “I didn’t—”

“Not a request.”

He walks past. Doesn’t look back.

Three nights later.

You're in a booth with a glittering drink in hand, skin still glowing from the bathroom highlighter your friend insisted on using (“you need shimmer, bitch—post-trauma sparkle tax”).

The music is too loud, the air smells like spiced rum and citrus perfume, and your heels already hurt.

But the buzz is warm. The girls are laughing. And you… are babbling.

“—and then he just walked off, like full dramatic coat sweep, and I’m standing there with adrenaline in my mouth and a full trauma boner or something, I don’t know—”

“Wait, trauma boner?” Your friend Zara chokes on her drink. “What does that even mean?”

“It means,” you say, stabbing your straw into the crushed ice like it personally wronged you, “I need therapy. Or a different internship. Or a restraining order. Or him. Honestly, I don’t know anymore.”

Your best friend Hyerin leans over the table. “Okay, wait. Let’s back up. Did he save your life?”

“Well, technically—yes,” you admit. “But also, I wouldn’t have been in danger if someone didn’t bond-glow like a possessive hellhound and piss off a rogue vampire in the first place—”

“You like him,” Hyerin grins, leaning in conspiratorially.

“No, I don’t.”

“You do.”

“I don’t!” You throw your hands up, nearly sloshing your drink onto your dress. “I like peace. I like science. I like not being tackled by muscle demons with jawlines sharp enough to slice through reinforced cuffs—”

“Right,” Zara hums. “And when you say jawline, you mean—”

“This isn’t about his jawline!”

Pause. You stare into your cocktail like it might offer answers. It doesn’t.

“…It’s a little about the jawline,” you mutter.

The table bursts into laughter. Hyerin’s already pulling out her phone.

“I’m texting him,” she says.

“YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE HIS NUMBER.”

“Not yet.”

You scream into your hands.

But, the universe hates you and you're sure of it.

Because not five minutes after you scream into your hands—screaming about him—the music shifts, the crowd parts like some hedonistic Red Sea, and in walks the reason your blood pressure has had a permanent residency in the clouds: Seo Changbin. Black shirt, tactical boots like he stomped straight out of the field and into the VIP section. Sleeves rolled. Forearms coiled. Expression unreadable.

And beside him?

Hwang Hyunjin, shirt unbuttoned halfway like a walking sin. Felix, honey-blonde hair and already blowing kisses at the bartender.

You—mid-sip of a definitely-too-strong cocktail—choke. Loudly.

Zara slaps your back. “Oh my god—what is it?”

“Don’t—look—now—” you wheeze, clutching the table, “but the reason for my imminent emotional breakdown just walked in with his vampire boy band.”

“What—” Hyerin starts, glancing over—And immediately gasps. “HOLY FUCK, IS THAT—?!”

“Yes!” you hiss. “It is! And now we’re gonna leave quietly, like normal people who do not talk shit about their boss and then get haunted by it in real time.”

Too late.

Felix spots you first. Smiles like he’s already decided to ruin your life for fun. He taps Hyunjin. Hyunjin turns. Sees you. Smirks like he’s proud of himself for causing all this. Like he’s got a bingo card and just checked off “accidentally start a soulmate crisis.”

And then—

Changbin looks up. Finds you. Freezes.

You freeze, too.

It’s mutual nuclear deer-in-headlights energy.

Then—and this is the worst part—he visibly exhales. Rubs the back of his neck. Says something to the others.

And starts walking over.

You panic.

“Abort,” you whisper. “ABORT MISSION—HE’S COMING—WHY IS HE COMING—”

Hyerin hides her face behind her glass. Zara just leans in like this is the season finale of a drama.

Changbin reaches the table. “…Intern.”

That voice. Low. Calm. Slightly hoarse like he’s been shouting over noise—Or thinking about you.

You blink up at him, stunned. “D-Director.”

“Didn’t know you frequented this club.”

“I—don’t,” you stammer. “I mean, I do. But not, like—frequently. Just—on occasion. Very rare occasions. Like now. And maybe never again.”

He looks vaguely amused. “Shame.”

You short-circuit. “Sorry?”

He leans in a little. Just a fraction. Just enough for your drink to forget how to exist and nearly spill itself. “Shame,” he repeats. “I was starting to think this place had good taste.”

You black out a little.

Felix, ten feet away, definitely whoops.

Hyunjin raises a brow like he’s just been fed.

You pray for the earth to swallow you whole.

It doesn’t.

Instead, Changbin steps back—cool as ever—nods to your friends, and says, “Don’t stay too late. You’re still technically under blood-scent restriction.”

And then he’s walking away. Felix blows you a kiss. Hyunjin mouths, “You’re welcome.”

You collapse onto the table.

Zara: “I’m gonna need you to explain everything. Slowly. With details.”

Hyerin: “You’re so in love with him.”

You: gargling incoherently into your straw.

Somewhere, across the bar, Changbin slides into a booth beside Hyunjin, downs a drink like he’s trying to forget his own existence, and mutters: “…I’m so fucked.”

Hyunjin watches Changbin slam his drink like it personally insulted his ancestors.

Then, with all the grace and smugness of a man who has never once minded his business, he drawls: “Soooo… when were you planning on telling us you’ve imprinted on your intern?”

Changbin glares at him over the rim of his glass. “I didn’t imprint.”

Felix snorts. “You tackled a feral vampire like a rabid Cerberus because it looked at her. Your aura’s been glowing since Tuesday. You’re literally scent-marking her by accident.”

“I’m not—!” Changbin exhales, runs a hand down his face. “It’s not like that.”

Hyunjin raises a brow. “Oh? Then what is it like, Binnie? Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like you’ve got yourself a little intern-shaped problem. Or, more accurately—” He leans in. “—a little intern-shaped crush.”

Changbin doesn’t respond. Which is, obviously, confirmation.

Felix grins. “Awww, hyung… You’ve got a type.”

“I do not have a type—”

“You do. And apparently it’s smart, clumsy, slightly sarcastic science girls who wear combat boots and forget how to breathe when you look at them.”

“I swear to god—”

“She was literally squeaking at the table. You know how hard it is to make a scientist squeak?”

Hyunjin nods solemnly. “It's usually the lab rats that squeak. Not the interns.”

Changbin slumps in his seat. “You two are insufferable.”

Felix beams. “We’re supportive.”

“We’re observant,” Hyunjin adds.

“We’re just saying,” Felix continues, “that if you don’t make a move soon, she’s gonna keep thinking she’s hallucinating the sexual tension. Which, by the way, is not subtle. It’s practically a hazard.”

“I can’t make a move,” Changbin mutters. “She’s under my department. It’s complicated.”

“You tackled a rogue vampire for her,” Hyunjin says, sipping his drink like he’s delivering a TED Talk. “Pretty sure the ethics line was already blurred when you went full murder-glow in front of ten ops staff and a clipboard.”

“And she blushed,” Felix adds. “Like, blushed. The kind of blush that requires ice water and therapy.”

“She screamed into her hands,” Hyunjin says thoughtfully. “Cute hands, by the way.”

Changbin growls. “Touch her and I’ll dislocate your soul.”

“There it is,” Felix sings. “There’s our favorite blood-stained simp.”

Changbin slams his glass down again. “…I hate both of you.”

Hyunjin shrugs. “You hate yourself more. For feeling things. Tragic.”

Felix leans in, bright-eyed. “But also… so hot. Honestly. We’re rooting for you. And if you ever need help figuring out how to ask her out without sounding like you’re proposing a hostage trade—we got you.”

Changbin just sighs. Drags a hand through his hair.

Across the bar, you're still hiding behind your drink. Still red in the face. Still not over it. He sees you peek out from behind your straw. You meet his eyes. Then duck back like you’ve been caught.

Changbin exhales through his nose. “…I’m so fucked,” he mutters again.

Hyunjin grins. “No, Binnie. You’re in love.”

Back at your booth...

You slip away from the booth with a muttered excuse—something about needing another drink, maybe some air. Really, you just need a minute. A minute to breathe without Hyerin’s knowing smirks or Zara’s whisper-yells of “he’s literally looking at you again—right now—look—”

So you push through the low-light crowd, heels clicking on scuffed tile, until you reach the bar.

The bartender’s busy with a round of orders. You lean against the counter, nursing the last of your drink, trying very hard not to glance back toward that particular booth.

(You fail. Twice.)

Behind you, the crowd shifts. You barely register the presence until someone leans in—too close. A voice at your ear, slurred and syrupy:

“Well, well. What’s a little thing like you doing all alone in a place like this?”

You freeze.

The man—no, not a man. You feel it instantly. The cold, too-calm stillness of him. The unnatural sharpness beneath his smile.

Vampire.

Not glamoured, not registered, not glowing with the controlled hum of city-trained restraint.

Your instincts scream.

“Back off,” you say, louder than intended.

But he laughs, low and slow. “Easy, sweetheart. Just being friendly.”

His hand brushes your wrist. Too fast. Too cold. You slap it away—but he grabs instead. Tight.

In a second, he’s behind you. Hand curled over your pulse point, voice rasping in your ear: “I can smell it on you. Something sweet. Someone’s touched you recently. Staked a claim…”

Your blood chills.

“Let go of me.”

“No.”

And that’s when the air changes. A blur cuts through the room. A gust of wind and rage and fire. And suddenly he’s there.

Changbin.

One hand wrenches the vampire back by the collar, the other slamming him into the bar so hard the counter cracks.

No warning. No mercy. Just fury. His eyes are glowing. His fangs are bared. His whole body radiates kill energy.

“She said let go.”

The vampire chokes. “Y-You’re—she’s marked—by you—?”

Wrong answer.

Changbin’s fist slams into his jaw. “Don’t ever touch her again,” he growls, voice pitched so low it could gut steel.

People are staring. No one interferes. Because every creature in this place knows exactly what just happened.

Possession. Protection.

He doesn’t let go until the vampire is limp. Until bouncers come, dragging the rogue away.

Then—and only then—does Changbin turn to you. He’s still shaking. “Are you okay?” he asks, low. Urgent. Too close.

You nod, numb. “Y-Yeah. Just… shaken.”

He exhales. Looks like he might kill someone else, just to be safe. And then—he touches you. Carefully. A light hand on your arm, grounding. His thumb strokes the spot where the vampire grabbed you.

“You’re not walking anywhere alone again,” he mutters.

You blink up at him stunned, lips slightly parted.

Behind you, from the booth, Hyunjin howls. Felix starts clapping. You scream internally. Changbin stiffens at the sound of Hyunjin’s howl. His jaw ticks and Felix’s enthusiastic applause is not helping.

You’re frozen, wide-eyed, still clutching your half-empty glass like it might shield you from this mortifying reality.

Then—Changbin sighs. Long. Suffering. Like a man just barely holding it together. His hand is still on your arm. He hasn’t moved it. Hasn’t looked away from you once.

“…Come on,” he mutters, voice low. “Let’s get you out of here.”

Your eyes flick up. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he says, and it’s so firm, so quiet, so final that you stop arguing.

He gently guides you toward the exit, threading you through the pulsing crowd like you’re something precious he needs to protect. His hand never leaves your lower back.

You pass the booth. Hyunjin wiggles his fingers like a cheeky villain. “Have fun~”

Felix leans across the table, stage-whispering: “Use protection. Emotional or otherwise.”

You hiss: “I hate both of you.”

Changbin: “Mood.”

The door swings shut behind you, muffling the music. The night air hits you—cool, quiet, a little sobering. You’re standing on the sidewalk now. Streetlights glowing. People still spilling into the night around you. But none of it touches the little bubble you’re in. Him. You. Too close. Not close enough.

“…Thanks,” you say, because you have to say something. “For—y’know. Back there.”

Changbin tilts his head, studying you. “You’re trembling.”

You glance down. Damn it, you are. “I’m fine,” you start, but it’s a lie, and he knows it.

“Come on,” he says again, voice gentler this time. “I’m taking you home.”

You blink. “You don’t know where I live.”

He lifts a brow. “Then give me the address. Or come to mine.”

You open your mouth. Close it. Open it again.

“…Option two.”

His jaw ticks—just once. “Yeah?”

“…Yeah.”

He nods. Doesn't look smug about it, not even a little. Just serious. Focused. Concerned in a way that makes your stomach flip. He leads you to the car and opens the passenger door and waits for you to climb in.

You do.

You buckle in. You try not to feel the weight of this. Of him. Of what this is starting to mean. He pulls into traffic, jaw tense, one hand on the wheel, the other flexing in his lap like he’s trying very hard not to reach for you again.

Finally, softly: “I meant it,” he says. “No more walking alone. Not with rogues sniffing around. Not with you glowing like…” He swallows. “…like someone’s already claimed you.”

Your breath catches.

You stare at the window. At your reflection. At the tiny shimmer in your wrist where that rogue touched you and your magic had flared in instinctive response.

“…Did you?” you whisper. “Claim me?”

The car is very, very quiet.

Then—

“I think,” Changbin murmurs, “I’ve been trying not to.”

Your heart stutters. He pulls into his building garage. Parks. Turns to you. “I don’t think I can help it anymore.”

Your mouth goes dry.

You feel it—the tension laced through the silence like a livewire. The air between you sparking with things unspoken. Untouched. You turn slowly to look at him. At the way his hand tightens slightly on the gearshift. At the muscle ticking in his jaw. At the way he’s not looking at you, like one glance might undo him entirely.

“…You’re not helping,” you say quietly. Half a joke. Half a truth.

His eyes flick to yours—fast, sharp, dark. “I’m not trying to.”

Your stomach flips.

For a moment, neither of you moves. Then he gets out, walks around the car, opens your door like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he doesn’t. You step out, legs unsteady, and he’s right there—close but not touching. Always not touching.

The ride up is quiet. Elevator soft and silver. You watch the floor numbers climb and try not to think about how his shoulder nearly brushes yours. His apartment is sleek, clean, dimly lit—him, in every way. Cool-toned. Quiet. Safe.

He hands you a blanket. Points to the couch. “You can take the bed if you want.”

You blink. “You’re giving me your bed?”

He shrugs. “You were almost attacked tonight. I’m not gonna add back pain to the list.”

“…I’m not fragile.”

“I know,” he says. And that—that—comes out rough. Like it costs him to say it. “You’re not. But I care anyway.”

Silence.

You stare at him. He stares back.

Then he turns—like he has to physically pull himself away from you—and heads to the kitchen. “You want tea?” he asks, opening a cupboard. “Chamomile? Peppermint? Something to help you sleep?”

“Do you ever sleep?” you ask, still standing there.

“Not well,” he says, then glances over his shoulder. “Especially not when you’re walking into danger with a straw in your mouth and no backup.”

You scoff. “That’s oddly specific.”

He gives a faint, crooked smile. Then hands you a mug. “Drink. Couch or bed—your choice. I’ll be out here if you need anything.”

You take the mug. Your fingers brush. He freezes.

You both do.

Then you take a step back. He exhales. Like that one inch spared him from crumbling.

You sit on the couch, curling up under the blanket. He doesn’t go far—just settles at the far end, close enough to hear you breathe, far enough not to cross the line he’s clearly drawing for himself.

“You meant it?” you ask softly. “What you said earlier? About… not being able to help it?”

He doesn’t look at you. Just stares straight ahead. “Yeah.”

You nod once.

Then: “Good.”

His head snaps toward you. Eyes wide. Disbelieving. But you don’t explain. Don’t press. Just sip your tea and look ahead, heart pounding so hard it rattles your ribs.

The Next Morning. LUXE HQ — Sublevel 4, Operations Command

Changbin slams a file onto the desk. “Okay. No, seriously. What the fuck.”

Chan blinks over his coffee. “Good morning to you too?”

“I claimed her.”

“You what.”

“I didn’t bite her. I didn’t mark her. I didn’t even kiss her. I’ve had literal breakfast sandwiches more intimate than this—how did I claim her?!”

Hyunjin: “You cuddled a little aggressively. Maybe that counts now.”

Changbin whirls on him. “I didn’t cuddle.”

“Sure, sure. You just cornered her against a bar with glowing rage-fangs and vowed eternal protection. Totally platonic.”

Seungmin looks up from his tablet, deadpan. “You’re all idiots.”

Everyone turns.

Seungmin sighs. “She glowed.”

“…Okay?” Changbin scowls. “So?”

“She glowed for you. Back. You both flared at the same time. That's enough.”

Chan squints. “Wait—flared like a synced pulse?”

Seungmin nods. “Uh-huh. That’s proto-bond activation, dumbass. Happens sometimes when a vampire's instinct collides with a compatible magic signature. If she didn’t resist—and you didn’t stop it—boom. Partial imprint.”

Hyunjin gasps. “You magic-matched?! Like in those scandalous shifter novels?!”

“God,” Changbin groans. “Why is everyone insane.”

“You imprinted,” Seungmin repeats flatly. “Like a duckling. Congratulations.”

“I didn’t imprint—”

“Too late,” Seungmin shrugs. “Duck-mode engaged.”

Changbin blinks. “But… she’s human.”

Seungmin doesn't look up from his tablet. “And yet. Duck-mode engaged.”

“Stop saying that!” Changbin practically yells. “What does that even mean?! I didn’t do anything! I didn't bite her! I didn't mark her! We didn’t even touch—okay, maybe her arm—BUT THAT DOESN’T COUNT!”

Chan slowly sets his mug down. “Okay. First of all—calm down. You're glowing through your shirt again.”

“Second of all,” Seungmin adds helpfully, “it’s not about species, genius. It’s about resonance.”

“Resonance of what?! She’s human. She’s caffeine and sarcasm and zero threat response!”

“She’s also a latent,” Seungmin says casually.

Changbin freezes. “A what.”

“A latent. Human with dormant arcane receptors. Rare, but not impossible. Probably doesn’t even know it.”

Chan nods like this makes perfect sense. “Makes sense. Explains the glow. Explains the surge. Explains why your bitey instincts went nuclear.”

Hyunjin sips his drink. “Explains why you look like you wanna chew drywall.”

Changbin runs both hands down his face. “Okay, so let me get this straight. You’re telling me I accidentally started a soul-bond with a human scientist who drinks iced Americanos like a war crime and actively hates that I exist?”

Seungmin: “Correct.”

Hyunjin: “Romantically hates you.”

Felix (just arriving): “Wait—did you guys tell him about the duck thing yet—”

Changbin lets out a guttural scream.

Felix immediately turns around. “Nope. Nope. Not dealing with that energy. I just got here.”

Chan sighs and looks at Seungmin. “What now?”

“Nothing,” Seungmin says. “We wait.”

“For what?”

Seungmin shrugs. “For her to walk in, glow at him again, and trigger phase two.”

Hyunjin lights up. “Ooooh. What’s phase two?”

“Denial,” Seungmin deadpans. “And then sex.”

Chan promptly walks into the wall.

Later that day...

Changbin walks into his office with the weight of twelve hours of emotional torment and zero hours of sleep on his shoulders.

And there you are.

On his couch. Legs crossed, tablet in your lap, stylus tapping in that specific rhythm you do when you're thinking—but also trying to annoy someone.

"—and technically, if you inject nano-trace silver into vampire bloodstreams in microbursts, you could mimic a detox reaction without permanent damage. But the ethics board won’t approve it. Cowards."

Changbin pauses in the doorway.

You don't even look up. "Also, your potted plant is dying. Again. I watered it for you. You’re welcome. God, do you ever hydrate anything?"

He stares at you. "How did you get in here?"

“I have a passcode,” you say sweetly, still not looking up. “You gave it to me. Remember? Post-bar-murder cuddle tea?”

He grits his teeth. “That wasn’t a cuddle, it was proximity-based grounding.”

“Sure,” you say, scrolling. “Anyway, I reorganized your research drive while I waited. You had like four folders labeled ‘fuckshitlater’ and one just called ‘bite?’ with a question mark. Are you okay.”

He groans. “No. No, I am not okay.”

“Because of the rogue vampire attack?” you ask, finally glancing up at him with infuriating innocence. “Or because of the whole soul resonance proto-bond imprinting duck-mode glow-surge sex-prophecy thing?”

He slams the door behind him. “WHO TOLD YOU?!”

You blink. “…Hyunjin texted me a duck emoji and then just, like, thirty fire emojis.”

“Of course he did.”

You fold your hands in your lap, lips twitching. “Soooo. Duck-boy.”

He glares. “Do not call me—”

You smile, absolutely evil. “Quackbin.”

He collapses into his desk chair with a groan like his soul is leaving his body. “I liked it better when you were scared of me.”

“No, you didn’t,” you say, voice soft now. “You liked it when I trusted you.”

That shuts him up.

For a moment, it’s quiet. Just the hum of your tablet and the static weight of your words in the air.

Then—

“I’m still not biting you,” he mutters.

You look at him over the top of your tablet. “Who said anything about biting?”

Silence. Too long. You go back to scribbling like you didn’t just send him into a silent breakdown spiral.

And Changbin's staring at you.

You’re not looking at him. Or rather—you refuse to look at him. Because the heat of his gaze is melting through your skull, and if you meet it, you will combust. Internally. Physically. Spiritually. Biblically.

So instead, you tap your stylus. Innocent. Unbothered. Professional.

“You reorganized my drive?” he asks, voice hoarse.

“Mmhmm.”

“And you saw the ‘bite?’ folder.”

“Mmhmm.”

Silence. Tension coiling like a wire between you.

“…You know,” he says, leaning back in his chair, voice low, rough, dangerous, “it’s really fucking hard to be a good man when you’re sitting on my couch like that, talking like you didn’t almost get mauled last night, glowing like you want me to finish what we started.”

Your stylus stills.

“I wasn’t glowing,” you whisper.

“Oh, sweetheart.” His voice drops a full octave. “You were fucking radiant.”

Your thighs press together instinctively. He notices.

His fangs throb behind his lips. His hand twitches. His desk creaks.

You should stop this. You should get up. Leave. Think. Anything.

Instead—

You slide your tablet to the side. Stand. Walk to his desk.

He watches every step. Like prey. Like worship.

“Binnie,” you murmur, placing your palms on the desk and leaning forward—into his space, into the flame, into him. “If you’re going to keep protecting me, maybe you should figure out what you’re protecting me from.”

His breath stutters.

And then—he’s up.

Chair shoved back. Hands on the desk. Caging you in. Not touching—but so close.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” he growls.

“I’m not asking.”

Silence. Heavy. Electric.

Then—

“Last chance,” he whispers. “Tell me to stop.”

You tilt your chin up, lips parted. Eyes burning. “I dare you.”

He’s on you in a second.

Not kissing—consuming. Mouth crushing yours, hands still gripping the desk like they’re the only things keeping him from tearing the room apart. His teeth barely miss your lips. His growl vibrates straight through your chest.

You gasp. He shudders. Like that sound is his favorite drug.

One hand finally lifts—cups your jaw, thumb dragging along your cheek like you’re porcelain he’s terrified to break. Like he knows he will anyway.

“You’re mine,” he breathes against your mouth. “I didn’t even bite you and you’re—fuck—you’re already mine.”

Your hands fist in his shirt, yanking him closer. “So do it.”

“What?”

“Bite me.”

He stills. Completely. His pupils blow wide. The air between you crackles. “…You don’t know what that means,” he says. But his voice—his voice is wrecked. Strangled.

“Yes, I do.” You pull him down. “I’m not glowing because I’m scared, Binnie.”

And that’s all it takes. His lips crash back into yours.

He breaks from your mouth and growls, low and guttural against your throat.

“Tell me again,” he pants. “Tell me you want it.”

“I want it.”

“Louder.”

“I want it—” you gasp, and then—

He bites.

White-hot. Sacred. Feral. It’s not pain. It’s release. Your entire body arcs, grabbing at him, breathing him. He moans against your skin. Deep. Broken. “Oh, fuck—you're perfect—you were meant for me—”

You whimper and his hand’s already under your shirt. Already gripping your waist like he’s anchoring himself to the earth. He pulls back from your neck slowly, licking the blood, sealing the wound. His fangs glint in the light.

“You’re mine now,” he whispers, reverent. “Do you feel it?”

You do. Gods, you do. The pulse under your skin—matching his. “You feel it?” he whispers again. His breath ghosts across your lips. “Right here—” He presses his palm to your chest. “Right here where it started.”

You nod, dazed. Eyes wide. Glowing, just faintly, like your body can’t help but respond to his anymore.

And then—

He moves. Effortless. His arms sweep under your thighs and back in one motion, lifting you like you weigh nothing. Your tablet clatters to the floor, forgotten.

“Binnie—”

But you don’t get to finish. He's walking towards the couch where he sits—wide-legged, strong—on it like a throne. Settles you on his lap, thighs straddling his, your knees framing his hips.

You can feel him. Hard. Pulsing. Right there between your legs.

His hands grip your hips. Not pulling. Just holding. Like he still can’t believe you’re real.

“You sure?” he murmurs. “Because once we start—once I have you—I won’t stop at one night.”

You lean in. Press your forehead to his. Your breath fans his lips. “Then don’t.”

His resolve snaps.

The kiss is searing. Tongue, teeth, want. He’s everywhere, hands on your back, your thighs, under your shirt. Lifting it. Sliding it off. His mouth moves down your throat, tongue lapping over the healing bite mark like he needs it again.

“You smell like mine,” he groans. “You feel like mine.”

He lays you back across the couch. Kneels between your legs like he’s worshipping at an altar. Like his entire being has narrowed to you—the sound of your gasps, the curve of your waist, the way you already arch for him without shame.

He growls when his fingers fumble at the waistband of your pants. The fabric won’t budge fast enough, caught around your hips, and it tears a low, guttural curse out of him.

“Fucking—stupid—pants—” he snarls, tugging with enough force that the button snaps open, the zipper halfway down before his hands drag them down in one desperate, furious motion. “Why do you wear so many fucking layers, baby?”

You laugh—breathless, wrecked—until he leans down and bites the inside of your thigh. Not hard. Just enough to make your laugh stutter into a gasp.

“Not funny,” he mutters, voice dark, lips brushing your skin like a threat. “You don’t get to make jokes when I’m trying not to devour you.”

Your panties are next. Gone in one motion. He curses again when he sees the slick already glistening between your thighs.

“Oh fuck,” he breathes. “Look at you. You’re dripping."

You whimper. Arch. One hand threads into his hair, the other fisting the couch beneath you.

Changbin looks up—eyes glowing, fangs just barely showing. “Don’t worry, baby,” he purrs. “I’m about to ruin you.”

And then he lowers his mouth.

Tongue hot. Skilled. Starving.

He moans the second he tastes you—like it’s the first meal he’s had in a century—and you shatter against his mouth, hips bucking, body already twitching like he’s possessed you with just a single lick.

He groans again, deeper this time, as his tongue dips between your folds—slow, savoring, like he’s mapping every part of you. His grip on your thighs tightens, holding you open, steady, as he works you apart with practiced precision.

“God, you taste—” his voice is muffled, reverent, hungry. “Like I’ve been starving for this.”

You whimper, hands curling tighter into his hair, hips instinctively lifting toward his mouth. He groans in approval, dragging his tongue up again—slow, thick, unhurried. He lingers at your clit, teasing flicks that make your whole body jolt, then seals his lips around it and sucks.

Hard.

You cry out. He doesn’t stop. One hand slides up, spreads across your belly like he’s grounding you—his weight, his heat, his claim—and the other presses your thigh wider, deeper, closer to ruin.

The noises—his mouth, your breathless gasps, the wet drag of tongue and lips—are obscene. Worshipful. He eats like he’s praying with every lick, every suck, every growled “mine” that vibrates straight into your core.

Your body trembles.

You’re close. You know it. He knows it. And he doesn’t let up—just flattens his tongue and drags it over you again and again until your legs are shaking and your voice is breaking and—

“Binnie—fuck—I’m gonna—”

He growls into you, low and possessive, and that’s what sends you over. You come hard, bucking under his mouth, moaning his name like a chant, like a plea, like a promise.

He holds you through it, mouth still working you gently, easing you down from the high like he never wants to stop tasting you.

And when he finally lifts his head—face glistening, eyes blown wide, lips parted like he’s drunk on you—you don’t even get the chance to catch your breath.

Because he crawls up your body, slow and dangerous, voice a dark rasp in your ear:

“Next round,” he says, “I want to feel you clench around my fingers. Gotta stretch you out baby.”

You nod—barely a breath, barely a sound—and that’s all he needs.

“Good girl,” he murmurs.

His praise sparks something molten in your belly, your thighs already trembling as he kisses down your body again—slow now, like he’s savoring the aftershock. One hand strokes your inner thigh, the other cradles your hip, grounding you as his mouth ghosts over your navel.

“You’ve been holding back on me,” he says against your skin. “Didn’t know you could fall apart so sweet.”

You arch. Whimper. He grins, a little feral. A little in awe.

And then his fingers—warm, thick—slide between your folds.

You gasp.

“Still so wet,” he groans, like it physically affects him. “Fuck.”

The first finger eases in slowly, just enough to tease. He watches your face the whole time—like he’s cataloging every twitch, every flutter, every breathless moan. The second finger follows not long after, and you feel the stretch—tight, aching, divine.

“You’re already squeezing me,” he mutters. “God, you’re gonna feel so fucking good when I’m inside you.”

He moves them slow at first. Curling. Testing. Finding every spot that makes you jolt, your body clenching tighter with each drag of his fingers.

And then—he adds pressure. A twist. His thumb brushes just right and—

“Bin—!” you cry out, hips jerking.

“I know, baby,” he says, voice thick. “Let go. I’ve got you.”

His fingers keep working you open, steady, relentless, obscene in how perfectly they move inside you.

He grins—sharp, wicked, knowing exactly what he’s about to do. And you know it too. Because the moment his fingers thrust in again—deep, curling just right—he lowers his head back to your thigh.

Changbin sinks his fangs into your inner thigh.

The twin puncture stings for a moment—sharp, shocking—before it’s drowned out by the wave of heat that floods your body. Your hips buck against his hand, a broken moan tumbling from your lips as the blood rushes from the wound and straight to his mouth.

He groans. Loud. Filthy. Like the taste of you—your blood and your cunt and your ruin—is the single most divine thing he's ever known.

“Fuck, baby…” he pants into your skin, voice low, wrecked, drenched in hunger. “Sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”

And then—he starts drinking.

Slow pulls. Tongue lapping between sucks. All while his fingers keep fucking into you, faster now—deeper, harsher, relentless.

The pain and pleasure twist together—searing heat in your thigh, soaked heat between your legs—and it’s too much. Your body starts to shake, your hands scrambling for anything—his shoulder, the couch, his wrist, his hair—just to anchor yourself.

He doesn’t stop. He won’t stop.

“You were made for this,” he growls, lifting his head from your thigh, blood-streaked lips glistening. His fangs flash in the low light, eyes burning. “Made to bleed for me, to cum on my fingers, to take every fucking drop of what I give you.”

Your walls pulse around him as if to answer. And fuck, he feels it. “Oh, you liked that, huh?” he laughs, dark and breathless.

Your name leaves his lips like a prayer and a promise all at once—then he leans back down, licking the bite to soothe it, even as his fingers slam harder inside you.

His thumb circles your clit—rough now, merciless—until you’re sobbing his name, thighs trembling, your body a livewire of heat and overstimulation.

“Give it to me again,” he whispers, mouth brushing your thigh, his voice soaked in greed. “Cum for me while I’m still inside you—fuck, baby, cum while I’ve still got your blood on my tongue.”

You break.

With a strangled cry and your back arching clean off the couch, you cum—again—clenching so tight around his fingers he has to curse, biting back a groan as he feels you pulse around him.

He keeps fucking his fingers into your cunt, slowly, riding out the waves of your orgasm before pulling his fingers out slow—wet, shining, ruined—and licking them clean.

Every drop. Every flick of tongue. Like it’s the only meal he’ll ever need.

“Still hungry, baby. Don’t think I’m done yet.”

Your thighs are still trembling, overstimmed and slick, body twitching from aftershocks when you feel the shift—Changbin rising above you, the heat of him crowding close.

He’s panting, flushed, eyes blown wide with hunger as he shoves his sweats down in one desperate motion.

And when his cock springs free—thick, flushed dark, glistening at the tip with pre-cum—your breath catches.

“Oh my god—” you whimper, voice cracking, eyes locked on the size of him. “Binnie, I… that’s not gonna—there’s no way you’re gonna fit—”

He grins.

That grin. The one that splits his face in half. Filthy. Cocky. Dangerous. The one that says: he knew you’d say that.

“Why do you think,” he growls, sliding one hand down your thigh again, fingertips brushing your soaked pussy with reverence, “I made you cum twice on my mouth and fingers first?”

He leans in—grinding his cock just barely against your slick folds, dragging the tip through the mess he made of you. You twitch, hips jumping, a sobbed gasp tearing from your throat.

“I had to get you ready, baby,” he whispers in your ear, voice molten. “Had to soften you up. Make you all loose and wet and perfect.”

You whine. Beg. Legs spread wide, fingers digging into his back, helpless and aching and needy.

“I—Binnie, please, please—”

He shudders at your tone. Cock twitches against your slit, smearing more of his precum along your folds.

“Oh, look at you,” he breathes, licking into your open mouth like he owns it. “Begging so sweet, baby. So fucking desperate.”

His cock nudges at your entrance—just barely—and your whole body arches like a live wire.

“You want me to ruin this little cunt, yeah?” he asks, dragging his tip against your slit again, teasing, leaking, cruel. “Wanna feel me stretch you open? Fill you up?”

You nod, babbling now. “Yes—yes, Binnie, please, I want it, I want you—”

“Then take a breath,” he grunts, lining himself up. “Gonna give it to you slow, baby. Gotta feel every inch.”

And fuck—

The stretch. The burn.

His cock presses in, just the tip, and already your mouth falls open, head tipping back against the cushions with a broken moan. He watches your face. Watches the way your lips part, your lashes flutter, your fingers claw into his arms like he’s too much—

But you’re still taking it. Bit by bit. Inch by aching inch.

“That’s it,” he whispers, awed, watching you swallow him whole. “That’s my good girl. So tight, baby, fuck—”

Your cunt grips him like a vice, soaked and fluttering around his cock, and he has to stop—just for a second—jaw clenched, breath punched from his lungs.

“Jesus fuck,” he hisses. “You’re gonna make me lose it.”

He’s only halfway in.

And already—already—your walls are clenching around him like they can’t let go, like your body’s trying to pull him in deeper even as it struggles to take him.

Changbin groans—low, guttural—like it’s tearing through his chest. His hips twitch forward another inch, and you choke on a moan, body arching, back scraping against the cushions.

“Fuck, baby…” he pants, stilling there, halfway buried inside you. His eyes drag up your body, drinking in every inch like he’s starved for the sight. “You look so—fucking—good.”

His hand comes up slowly, fingers tracing your jaw, thumb brushing your parted lips. And then—

He wraps it around your throat. “Look at you,” he mutters, squeezing just enough to make you gasp. “Cock halfway in and already losing your mind.”

Your eyes flutter. A soft, wrecked sound leaves your throat. You try to move—hips tilting up, desperate to take more—but his hand around your neck tightens.

Still.

“You gonna let me in, baby?” he whispers, voice dripping with sin. “You gonna take the rest? Let me ruin you properly?”

You nod, barely able to breathe now. Lips parting around a gasp, fingers gripping his forearms like please, please, please—

And then—

He snaps his hips forward. All at once. To the hilt.

You scream. Your body arches, eyes rolling, cunt spasming around him so tight he growls, low and vicious, fangs flashing.

“Fuck— that’s it.” he bites out, hand still firm around your throat, pinning you.

You can’t speak. You can barely breathe. All you can feel is the burn, the stretch, the fullness—his cock buried so deep it feels like he’s rearranging you, like he’s claiming places no one’s ever touched.

He holds still, grinding just enough to make you cry out again, your whole body twitching under his.

“So tight,” he breathes, voice full of dark reverence. “So warm. You were made for me.”

His hand loosens, just a little—enough to let you suck in air, enough to let the tears gather in your lashes. And then his other hand finds your waist, gripping it hard.

“Now hold on, baby,” he rasps. “I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t say anything but my name.” And the second your breath stutters under his hand—eyes dazed, lips red and kiss-swollen—Changbin snaps.

He pulls back just enough to feel the drag of your walls around him—tight, fluttering, soaked—and then he slams forward.

Hard.

You cry out, choked by his grip, back arching, legs trembling where they’re spread wide beneath him.

And then he does it again. And again. And again.

His pace is brutal—merciless—hips snapping into you with the force of someone barely holding on, cock pistoning deep with each thrust. You’re wrecked, voice gone to gasps and sobs, hands clawing at his back like you don’t know whether to pull him closer or push him away.

“Fuck, listen to you,” he groans, mouth right at your ear now, voice dark silk. “Whimpering like a little bitch every time I fuck into you.”

He grinds down between thrusts, making sure you feel him—every vein, every inch, every filthy promise his cock is making inside your cunt.

You sob his name, barely a sound—“B-Bin—”

His hand tightens around your throat. Your walls clench, pulsing, fluttering around him. “That’s it,” he whispers against your throat, and then—wet, open-mouthed kisses.

He devours the side of your neck—tongue dragging over skin, lips sucking marks into the curve of your throat, his fangs grazing every so often like he’s teasing the idea of biting again.

“God, you feel so fucking good.” he pants into your skin, hips hammering into you.

His free hand grabs under your knee, yanks your leg up over his hip, angle shifting—

And fuck—

He hits that spot. Again. And again. And again—

“Bin—please, I—!”

“Oh? Gonna cry for me?” he taunts, tongue licking over a fresh bruise blooming on your neck. “Go ahead. Cry while I fuck you dumb.”

Your whole body’s shaking, throat going raw from the sounds he’s dragging out of you. You’re gasping around his grip, every thrust shoving the air right back out again.

“Gonna fill this pussy up,” he groans. “Breed you like you were meant for it.”

Your moan—sharp, cracked, desperate—makes his thrusts get rougher.

The couch creaks. Your skin slaps against his. The room is full of nothing but obscene, messy, feral sounds. And when your body finally breaks, cunt spasming hard around his cock, stars bursting behind your eyes—he feels it.

He growls, deep in your throat. “Oh you’re cumming? Fuck, that’s it, squeeze my cock—take it—fucking take it, baby—”

Your orgasm crashes into you with devastating force. Your vision blurs, body going taut, your scream caught beneath his hand around your throat as your cunt clenches hard around him—tight, pulsing, desperate.

Changbin snaps.

“Fuck—fuck—fuck, that’s it, baby—”

His hips stutter, rhythm breaking as your walls milk him, suck him in deeper, tighter—your whole body shaking beneath him, back arched like you’ve forgotten how to breathe. His fangs flashing as he drives into you, cock twitching with every thrust.

And then—he cums. Hot. Deep. Endless. He growls, low and filthy, his whole body curling over you like a beast as his cock jerks inside you, painting your insides with thick, pulsing ropes of cum.

You moan—wrecked, breathless, barely conscious—feeling every pulse, every spurt. But he doesn’t pull out. Not yet. Instead, he rocks into you again—slow now, but deep—like he’s riding out the high, dragging both of you through the aftershocks together.

“Still twitching, baby,” he murmurs, voice rough silk, kissing your cheek, your jaw, your throat. His hand releases your neck—just enough to let you breathe, to suck in broken, wet gasps between sobs and moans.

“You feel that?” he whispers, cock still moving inside you, slow and obscene. “Feel how fucking full you are? God, you’re leaking already.”

You whimper, helpless, every inch of your body undone, trembling as he thrusts once—twice—just enough to push his cum deeper.

“Just a little more,” he breathes. “Let me have a few more, baby. You can take it. You’re being so fucking good.”

And fuck, you do.

You let him roll his hips, dragging his cock through your oversensitive cunt, both of you panting, covered in sweat and come and the kind of pleasure that breaks people.

Each stroke slow, reverent, dragging you both through the final waves of high until you’re trembling and gasping his name like it’s the only word left in your vocabulary.

And finally—finally—he stills.

His forehead drops to yours, eyes closed, chest heaving. His cock rests deep inside you, twitching once more before it settles, his cum slowly seeping out around him.

He kisses you—soft now, messy and lingering before pulling back. His breath evening out before yours does. You’re still trembling—body slick, wrecked, stuffed full and stretched wide, lips kiss-bruised and pulse still fluttering where he bit you. But it’s the way he holds you afterward that undoes you completely.

His nose nudges yours. “Hey,” he whispers. “You okay?”

You nod—barely. He shifts just enough to cradle your face in his hand, thumb brushing your cheek. “I need words, sweetheart.”

Your voice comes out cracked. “I’m okay. I’m… more than okay.”

His eyes search yours. Devour you, even now—but it’s not hunger anymore. Not like before. It’s reverence. Wonder. Like he still can’t believe he gets to touch you, much less have you.

He presses a kiss to your forehead. Then your temple. Then down the bridge of your nose like he’s mapping your whole face in devotion. “You didn’t just let me feed,” he murmurs. “You gave. That’s…”

He swallows hard. “That means something.”

You blink up at him. “I know.”

And that’s when it hits him. The weight of what just happened. What he is to you now. What you are to him.

“Come here,” he whispers, voice gone hoarse. He pulls out slowly, careful like he’s afraid he might hurt you, and you whimper at the loss—already aching. He hushes you instantly, curling you into his chest, one hand gripping your thigh.

He kisses the bite mark on your neck like an apology.

You're still tucked in his lap, legs draped over his thighs, your body humming from every place he’s touched you. There’s a strange quiet between you now—intimate, heavy, not uncomfortable. Just full. Like something sacred has been spoken without words.

“Mine,” he murmurs again against your skin, soft this time, like a prayer.

And then the office door opens.

“Hyung, I need to talk to you about the security issue at the northern—”

Jeongin freezes. Absolutely freezes. His eyes go wide.

He sees your shirtless body curled into Changbin’s chest, the half-buttoned shirt hanging off Changbin’s shoulders, the damp marks on his throat, your thighs, everything.

He turns. Immediately.

“NOPE. NOPE. NOT AGAIN. WHAT THE ACTUAL—”

“Jeongin,” Changbin tries.

Jeongin throws a hand in the air, walking backwards out the door like he’s warding off a vampire exorcism. “DON’T EVEN. I SWEAR TO GOD.”

You choke on a laugh and bury your face in Changbin’s chest. He groans.

Jeongin’s voice echoes from the hallway. “YOU WERE THE SANE ONE, HYUNG. THE ONLY ONE. WHAT IS THIS—CHAN HYUNG 2.0??? I NEED A VACATION. I’M BOOKING A FLIGHT TO MALTA. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS WHOLE COURT.”

Seungmin’s voice drifts in from further down the hall. “You’re not going anywhere, Jeongin.”

“I DESERVE PEACE!”

“No one told you to barge into Changbin’s office without knocking.”

“I KNOCKED! I ALWAYS KNOCK! THEY NEVER LISTEN!”

You’re trembling with laughter now. Changbin sighs and kisses your temple. “We might’ve... soundproofed the room.”

Jeongin’s distant shriek: “SEUNGMIN LET ME TAKE A SINGLE DAY OFF—”

“No.”

“WHY IS THIS A SEXUAL COURT NOW? IT USED TO BE BLOOD AND BUSINESS AND NOW IT’S BITE MARKS AND BONDING—”

You finally break, giggling uncontrollably against Changbin’s chest. He just groans and hugs you tighter.

“…He’s never gonna let this go,” you murmur.

“Nope.”

“…Should we lock the door?”

“We’re soundproofed, baby. We don’t need to lock shit.”

You glance up at him. He smirks.

[sevarchive]

જ⁀➴ blue lock ; kahoot edition

synopsis: in which nine blue lock players are forced into a “team bonding” on kahoot! starring: isagi yoichi, rin itoshi, shidou ryusei, bachira meguru, reo mikage, nagi seishiro, chigiri hyoma, barou shouei, gagamaru gin, and kunigami rensuke

a/n: this took me an entire day to write, edit, and recover from emotionally TT i really hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed losing my mind making it. have fun, i hope your brain short-circuits at least once. enjoy the ride 💀🧹

[ isagi started a call. ]

isagi: okay—okay, everyone’s here, let’s just—

barou: if one of you makes a fart noise into the mic i’m blocking you

isagi: i didn’t even say anything yet 💀

shidou: YOOOOO START IT I’M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH. MY MOUSE IS READY TO VIOLENCE.

bachira: wait i can’t hear anything is that my mic or shidou screaming again?

reo: your mic’s fine. shidou can we please act like people for two seconds—

shidou: NAHHHHH I’M LOCKED IN CHAT

nagi: …i still haven’t opened it btw

barou: STOP BEING LAZY. OPEN IT. YOU TAP TWO BUTTONS AND YOUR WHOLE LIFE’S NOT THAT HARD.

gagamaru: gu—ys—wai—i—he—lp—

isagi: gagamaru are you STILL lagging???

gagamaru: i’m in a forest

rin: bro what

reo: are you in the middle of a national park right now—

gagamaru: it’s fine, i climbed higher. might have signal now… i think

shidou (laughing way too hard): MY GUY IS PLAYING KAHOOT FROM A BRANCH. A BRANCH.

barou (losing it): IF I LOSE TO SOMEONE USING TWIG SIGNAL I’M FLIPPING MY WHOLE SETUP.

rin: i hope this kahoot crashes

bachira: same but in a fun way

shidou: IM READY LET’S GOOOOO

isagi: okay okay i’m sending the game pin—we're not starting until everyone’s in, alright??

reo: someone tell nagi it’s not a visual novel he actually has to do something.

nagi (deadpan): idc. i’m just here to breathe and get questions wrong.

isagi: code’s 666420. join the kahoot. don’t pick dumb names this time.

chigiri: …that feels illegal.

bachira: OMG that’s my angel number!!!

Nagi: too lazy to type it. someone click for me.

gagamaru (faint, laggy): wai—don’t—start—i can’t—my screen’s—fro—

[ gagamaru left the call. ]

bachira: GAGAMARU NOOOO

reo: bro he’s gonna rejoin and say “wait what question are we on” when we’re on like #19

kunigami: wait what’s the code again i just got here—

shidou: THE CODE IS 666420—YOU’RE WELCOME! LOCK THAT IN YOUR MUSCLE BRAIN

chigiri: someone mute him PLS

[ gagamaru joined the call. ]

bachira: OMG TREE WIFI IS BACK

gagamaru: uhhh so signal’s kinda better now. a crow moved off the branch so that helped ig

reo: bro kicked karasu off the tree just to join kahoot

shidou: LMAO karasu somewhere in the woods like “damn my bad bro, didn’t know you were lagging”

isagi: ok who the hell just joined as @ben.d.over

everyone (talking at once): NAHHHH

kunigami: wait why’s everyone laughing what’s wrong with ben

rin: read it again slowly

kunigami: …oh my god

isagi: i’m ending this game already and we haven’t even started—

rin: i should’ve muted you all when i had the chance

reo: too late we’re in the trenches now

[messi_is_me has joined the game.]

[rin has joined the game.]

[HUGH MUNGUS has joined the game.]

[ben.d.over has joined the game.]

[richdaddyreal has joined the game.]

[leftthumbonly has joined the game.]

[imagine losing has joined the game.]

[EMPEROR_OF_GOALS has joined the game.]

[muscle_reaper7 has joined the game.]

[forestwifi_survivor has joined the game.]

isagi: bro who the hell is HUGH MUNGUS 😭

shidou (already dying): NAHHHHHHHHH whoever typed that needs jail and a hug

bachira: sobbing at ben.d.over omg pls whoever you are never change 💖💖💖

kunigami: this is actually a crime against maturity

reo: bro we’re in 8th grade again and it’s kinda fun ngl

gagamaru (still lagging): wait who’s hugh? did another person join??

barou: TCH. EMPEROR_OF_GOALS has ARRIVED.

everyone: bro. we KNOW it’s you 😭😭😭

isagi: ok BUT why is someone just rin 💀 that’s worse than being cringe

shidou: LMFAOOOO bro typed his name like it’s a school test

chigiri: nah bro said “i’m not like the other girls” and then picked nothing

rin: i am literally just rin. i have dignity. unlike the rest of you parasites.

bachira: ok “rin” 🙄✨

[ host clicks “start game” ]

[ kahoot music starts blaring ]

barou (mic BUSTED): LETS GO EMPEROR OF GOALS! I WILL ASCEND.

shidou (yelling over him): AYYYYYYY GET READY TO LOOOOOOOSEEEEE 🔥🔥🔥

bachira (cackling): MY EARS JUST LEFT THE CHAT 💀💀💀

chigiri: somebody MUTE THEM.

shidou (immediately): EZ. it’s RED. next question.

isagi: BRO DON’T SAY THE ANSWER DIMWIT 😭😭😭

reo: YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY IT OUT LOUD YOU WALKING CONCUSSION

bachira: LMFAOOO not shidou speedrunning self-sabotage

kunigami: this is why we can’t have nice things

nagi: does that mean it’s not red? 🤨

gagamaru (from the trees): wait hold up i just got signal what did he say

barou: TCH. if you don’t know the answer, don’t play the game.

chigiri: bro has the audacity to scream the answer like it’s a flex

rin: first question and the stupidity’s already astronomical

shidou: ok but like. i was RIGHT tho. you’re welcome.

isagi: this isn’t a group project bro SHUT UP 💀

[ leaderboard after Q1: ]

🥇 ben.d.over 🥈 EMPEROR_OF_GOALS 🥉 messi_is_me 4th — leftthumbonly 5th — HUGH MUNGUS

barou: SECOND?! I AM THE EMPEROR. I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS.

isagi: how the hell am i losing to a guy named ben.d.over

shidou: i’m FIFTH??? i SAID the answer out loud 😭

reo: you helped everyone and still fumbled.

nagi: me being 4th is actually a miracle. i clicked by accident

gagamaru (finally loading): wait the leaderboard’s up?? guys. what place am i

chigiri: bro you’re not even on it 😭

rin: one question in and i already want to mute this entire call

bachira: #1 babyyyyy catch me if you cannnn

gagamaru (already overwhelmed): ok wait wait. it SAYS “red” but the box is BLUE! do i click the blue box that says red?? or the RED box??

reo: just click the one that says red 😭 it’s not a trick question

barou (yelling): NO—JUST PICK THE COLOR

gagamaru: WHAT—WHICH COLOR?? THE COLOR OF THE BOX OR THE COLOR OF THE WORD??

bachira: i’m wheezing he’s getting gaslit in 4K

shidou: bro’s fighting kahoot, barou, and his internet all at once 💀

kunigami: nah that was dirty i won’t lie lol i had an existential crisis

nagi: i think he just blacked out and clicked uno

isagi: whoever designed kahoot is actually evil for that one

barou: IF YOU FELL FOR THAT YOU’RE A MORON. WORDS OVER COLORS. THINK WITH YOUR HEAD.

rin (finally losing it): you are all COLORBLIND. you are COLOR. BLIND.

[ leaderboard after Q2: ]

🥇 leftthumbonly 🥈 ben.d.over 🥉 EMPEROR_OF_GOALS 4th — messi_is_me 5th — rin

gagamaru (finally catching up): NOOOO i should’ve clicked the blue one that SAID red

reo: bro that was 2 minutes ago 😭 you still processing??

nagi (deadpan): ayo??? how am i first

bachira: YOU??? i was #1 you fraud

barou: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. EMPEROR OF GOALS WILL NOT STAND FOR THIRD.

isagi: i’m 4th. this is bullying.

bachira: wait bro where’s imagine losing 😭😭😭

reo: nah don’t tell me chigiri’s not even on the board 💀

shidou: bro’s the fastest in real life but couldn’t even click a button in time 😭

isagi: he’s got 40-yard dash speed but lagging in kahoot reflexes 💀

chigiri (furious): I MISCLICKED ONCE

barou: sounds like skill issue to me

chigiri: ok but when i beat all of you in sprints i don’t wanna hear a thing

shidou: not if kahoot beats you first 🫵

isagi: there is ONE correct answer here. and if y’all pick anything else i’m calling the cops

reo: WHAT IS THIS QUESTION??? 😭

bachira: i voted for my imaginary friend. he told me to

shidou: gagamaru’s wifi is NOT the goat that’s the villain 😭

gagamaru (suddenly cutting out): i clicked m– krrch —own wifi an— skshh—wait why— disconnects

[ gagamaru left the call. ]

chigiri: NAHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭 HIS WIFI TOOK IT PERSONALLY

reo: he clicked “gagamaru’s wifi” and it jumped him on sight 😭💀

shidou: HIS WIFI SAID “WHO’S THE GOAT NOW?” AND YEETED HIM OFF THE CALL 😭😭😭

bachira: self-inflicted lag. beautiful

barou (suddenly SCREAMING): WHY. IS. MY. REFLECTION. ON THIS DAMN LIST. WHO. PUT. THAT.

isagi: you sound mad for someone who looks in the mirror every 4 minutes

barou: I’M MAD IT’S EVEN AN OPTION. THIS BETTER BE THE CORRECT ANSWER OR I’M ENDING THIS GAME.

isagi: calm down emperor palpatine it’s not that deep

barou: SOMEONE CHANGE THE QUIZ NAME TO “WHO WANTS TO DIE TODAY”

shidou: NO LMAO SOMEONE GIVE HIM A POINT JUST FOR SELF-LOVE

[ leaderboard after Q3: ]

🥇 HUGH MUNGUS 🥈 leftthumbonly 🥉 ben.d.over 4th — richdaddyreal 5th — EMPEROR_OF_GOALS

isagi: HUGH MUNGUS???? bro HOW are you first 😭😭😭

shidou (screaming): LET’S GOOOOOOO I AM HIM 😤💥💪

bachira: how did he climb all that from the pits of dumbassery

barou (still fuming): you’re telling me my reflection wasn’t correct?? YOU’RE SAYING RONALDO OVER MY MIRRORED GLORY???

reo: it’s literally a real person vs. your gym selfie 😭

[ gagamaru joined the call. ]

gagamaru (reconnected, confused): wait i got booted mid-question did the wifi option win or what

isagi: nah bro your wifi sabotaged you 😭

gagamaru: my router’s holding a grudge i swear

rin: i hate that HUGH MUNGUS is at the top of the leaderboard. i actually hate this.

bachira: don’t worry rin, you’re top 1...IN SULKING SPEEDRUNS

rin: i hate all of you

reo: WAIT. IS THAT RIN IN A BALLGOWN 😭😭😭

isagi: YO WHO MADE THIS QUIZ. WHO DID THAT TO HIM 💀💀💀

nagi: nah he lowkey serving… but also threatening

shidou: bro looks like he’s about to hit a pirouette and a homicide 💃🔪

rin (furious): WHAT. THE HELL. IS THAT PICTURE.

bachira: you in your disney princess era bestie 😚

barou: ENOUGH. I BETTER NOT BE THE RIGHT ANSWER. I AM FASHION.

kunigami: you wore zebra pants with gold chains last week–

chigiri: don’t forget the crown and the “born to score” crop top

barou: SAY THAT AGAIN AND I’LL SCORE YOUR FUNERAL

gagamaru (still buffering): wait why is rin dressed like elsa

reo: can we circle back to the fact that I’m an option too??

bachira: yeah that’s for all your rich boy yacht outfits 😭

rin: WHO MADE THIS. WHO ACTUALLY MADE THIS.

shidou: these questions got more violent than blue lock itself 💀

isagi: nah fr. this isn’t trivia, this is targeted bullying

bachira: AND I’M ENJOYING EVERY SECOND 😍

[ leaderboard after Q4: ]

🥇 HUGH MUNGUS 🥈 ben.d.over 🥉 leftthumbonly 4th — EMPEROR_OF_GOALS 5th — messi_is_me

shidou (wheezing): BAROU WAS THE CORRECT ONE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

bachira: LMAOOOOOOO I’M ACTUALLY CRYINGGGG

barou (screaming from his soul): EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!?!

reo: oh my god he’s gonna suplex the kahoot server

isagi: no bc the zebra pants were a crime and the quiz just confirmed it 💀

kunigami: justice has been served. with glitter and shame.

barou: WHO DECIDED THIS?? WHO HAS THE AUDACITY TO PUT EMPEROR OF GOALS AS A FASHION FAILURE

nagi: you wear gold chains to practice bro

chigiri: and you showed up in crocs once. crocs. with spikes.

rin: Y’ALL ARE LAUGHING AND I’M STILL IN A DAMN GOWN

gagamaru (delayed): rin look like he’s about to sing “let it go”

bachira: BC HE’S LETTING GO OF HIS DIGNITY

barou: THIS. QUIZ. IS. RIGGED.

reo: NAHHHH THIS QUIZ JUST WENT PERSONAL 💀💀💀

bachira: “rin (but he’ll never admit it)” is insane levels of violence 😭

nagi: picked blue. left foot supremacy

shidou: i picked yellow. i want drama 😈

isagi: bro this is less trivia and more emotional exposure therapy

rin (furious): WHY AM I EVEN AN OPTION. WHO ADDED THAT.

bachira: sorry rin ur tsundere lore is out 😚

shidou: “he’ll never admit it” is SO real tho

barou: I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GAME ABOUT SOCCER. WHY ARE WE IN A TELL-ALL CONFESSIONAL

kunigami: lowkey “the idea of being better than everyone else” might actually be the most accurate

gagamaru (late as always): wait did sae join the kahoot??

bachira: no but i wish he did just to see him pick “himself” and log out

rin: this quiz is sick. i’m reporting it.

shidou: what’s wrong rin. you don’t love yourself the way sae maybe does??? 😭😭😭

[ leaderboard after Q5: ]

🥇 HUGH MUNGUS 🥈 ben.d.over 🥉 leftthumbonly 4th — richdaddyreal 5th — EMPEROR_OF_GOALS

bachira: nooooo not “himself” 😭😭😭 SAE YOU SELF-LOVING BASTARD

isagi: bro really looked at love and said “me, myself, and i”

shidou: LMFAOOO RIN GOT LEFT ON READ BY HIS OWN BLOOD 💔💀

reo: can someone hug rin before he explodes

nagi: rin’s emotionally speedrunning all five stages of grief

barou: i don’t care if sae loves a brick, can we move on

gagamaru: wait so sae doesn’t love rin?? 😔

rin (low, dead inside): i’m. not. crying.

bachira: you’re just allergic to emotional damage??

shidou: guys don’t make fun of him. he’s top 1 in having a fictional situationship with his brother

isagi: can someone play sad violin noises over vc

reo: we need to end this before rin disconnects permanently 😭

nagi: yo is this next one the last question??

isagi: yeah yeah ONE MORE. FINAL ROUND. everyone breathe and brace!

isagi: WHAT AM I LOOKING AT

reo: WHY IS HIS APRON SO TIGHT WHO DID THIS

bachira: NOOOO HE LOOKS SO ANGRY YET SO SERVING 😭😭

nagi: this is the scariest and sexiest thing i’ve ever seen

shidou: TRUE. TRUE. TRUE. I CLICKED TRUE BEFORE IT EVEN LOADED

kunigami: what the actual hell is this quiz

barou (deranged screaming): WHO MADE THIS. WHO FOUND THAT PICTURE. I WILL END YOU.

isagi: bro why does he still look like he could bench press all of us in that outfit

gagamaru (in awe): wait fr… why is he kinda…

chigiri: no say it. we’re all thinking it.

gagamaru: …kinda bad

bachira: BADDER THAN YOUR WIFI 😭😭😭

rin: i think i'm gonna be sick..

shidou: maid barou supremacy forever. that apron’s doing heavy lifting

reo: he looks like he’s about to hand me a cupcake and then body slam me

barou (still unhinged): I’M ENDING THIS QUIZ. I’M DELETING KAHOOT. I’M BLOCKING ALL OF YOU

bachira: too late babe you're trending on maidtok 💅🧹

[ FINAL KAHOOT LEADERBOARD ]

🥇 HUGH MUNGUS 🥈 ben.d.over 🥉 leftthumbonly

shidou (screaming): I WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

bachira: NOOOOOOO WHY DID I GET SECOND 😭😭😭 i wanted the power

nagi: i was just pressing colors. what happened

isagi: i dropped from 3rd to off the podium like my stocks crashed bro

reo: wait. where the hell did I go. am i in NINTH??

kunigami: i’m BELOW gagamaru. and he picked options with lag.

gagamaru (re-entering from the woods): i think i clicked red but it was actually green and the crow started screeching again

chigiri: y'all just imagine me being the fastest in blue lock and the slowest in kahoot like shut the hell up

bachira: chigiri fumbled the click bag 💀

rin: i hate that HUGH MUNGUS is the winner. i genuinely hate it.

isagi: ok rules are rules… winner gets to choose anything, right?

shidou (with the most evil smirk): YES. and i’ve decided 😇

barou (already panicking): no. NO. WHATEVER IT IS, NO.

shidou: you… barou-sama…are going to wear. the maid outfit. AGAIN. 😈 but this time... we’re POSTING IT ON TWITTER 🧍‍♀️✨

barou (screeching): WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

bachira: LIVE YOUR TRUTH MAID KING 😭😭😭😭

reo: we are boosting the tweet. everyone turn on RTs

nagi: wait let me edit the photo. adding sparkles and cat ears rn

gagamaru: can we tag ego

kunigami: you are all going to hell gagamaru. DON'T

barou (frothing): I WILL UNPLUG EVERY ROUTER IN JAPAN. I SWEAR.

shidou (typing on phone already): caption: "maid barou ready to serve AND score 🧹💘"

rin: i’m leaving. i’m logging off. this is brain rot.

bachira: SEE Y’ALL AT THE NEXT KAHOOT 😍🎉

[ vc disconnected ]

જ⁀➴ © sevarchive ✦ masterlist like/reblogs are appreciated ꣑ৎ

[sha-n-dowbannedlol]

Phainon — My Way Of Life

read this first!

cw: knight!phainon, fem!princess!reader, animal cruelty, manipulation, grooming (but not sexually), emotional abuse

an: to be honest i've been writing bits and pieces of this au since i finished 3.0 (the same day it was released) because phainon is such a sweetheart that i cant help but feel like he's too good to be perfect, thus, this au. and i havent really wrote a sequel yet, to be honest, but what i do have written up is the prologue, which is this... practically just parts of what i've already written compiled into one lol. im assigned to the OR so im not sure if i can write up a sequel soon but i do have ideas already hehe

The infant’s wail echoed through the marble‑lined corridors, the sound bouncing off vaulted ceilings until it spilled into the royal nursery. In the obstetrician’s arms—swaddled in linens still warm from first breath—the newborn finally quieted, and at the sight of such, Her Majesty’s lips curved into a rare, unguarded smile.

Moments later, attendants had bathed and bundled the child in soft blanket. The newborn slept now, cheeks flushed, unaware of the world he'd entered. Beside him lay another babe, barely a few months older, yet already every inch a princess; Her gown an explosion of pastel silks and seed‑pearled lace. Tiny fingers fluttered from the ruffles, reaching instinctively for the newcomer.

"Look at them," the Queen whispered quietly, as if she might shatter the spell if she spoke a little louder. The princess’s chubby hand closed around her companion’s.

"Have you chosen his name?" Her Majesty turned to the young woman—her maid, still resting on the bed, the sheets pooling around her waist.

"Phaenon," The maid said, voice velvet‑soft. "He will be called Phaenon."

"Phaenon," the Queen repeated, letting the syllables roll off her tongue. "The Bright One."

Her gaze lingered on the intertwined hands of her daughter and the maid’s son, a tender cradle of fingers—royal lace against humble clothing.

The Queen leans closer to the toddlers until her words brush the downy curls of both children, whispering.

"Phaenon... May your light forever chase away my little princess’ shadows."

Thus, marks the beginning of two lives fated to always be intertwined.

They grew up within the same garden walls, the princess and the boy named Phaenon. Raised under two very different ceilings but always ending up beneath the same sun-dappled canopy—feet muddied, laughter echoing off marble columns, the air between them always thick with make-believe kingdoms and imagined rebellions.

It was innocence, in the purest form of the word. Two children, barely old enough to count past twenty on their fingers and toes, who didn't yet understand borders or bloodlines, only the strange gravity that drew one to the other.

"P-H-A-E-N-O-N," he spelled it slowly, crouched beside her in the dirt, a twig scratching the letters into the soil between them.

"You spelled it wrong." The princess frowned, brows furrowing.

"No, I didn’t." He responds in protest.

"You did." The little girl tilted her head, braid slipping over her shoulder. "It’s Phainon. Like phaíno, to shine. I heard it in Father’s study. Your name is Greek. That’s how it’s supposed to be."

He hesitated, glancing down at the letters.

"But… my mother said..."

"Besides, I like it better with the i," she interrupted. "It's prettier."

And that was that.

He stared at the name in the dirt. And then, with a sigh that almost sounded amused, he watched as her little hand was already scribbling again in the dirt, the stroke of the 'i' tall and proud.

"Fine," he muttered, a little too easily. "Phainon, then."

The princess beamed, victorious.

That night, he carefully crossed out the old spelling on the little wooden tag he kept hidden under his pillow, carving a wobbly 'i' in its place.

Their mothers often watched them from the veranda, sharing quiet conversations behind gloved hands, their laughter soft like silk rustling in the breeze. Her Majesty insisted the two play together, said it was good for the princess to have someone constant, someone who didn’t look at her and see a throne.

So, they had play hours in the garden, poetry lessons shared between two cushions instead of one, toys not handed over, but passed between small fingers.

And for a time, they were safe. Phainon laughed freely, and the princess learned how to give as much as she received. There were tea parties with unevenly poured cups and games of hide-and-seek that always ended with both of them giggling under the same curtain, their tiny feet sticking out.

But not everyone agreed.

They weren't supposed to be friends, that much, the King clear with every tightening of his jaw.

"You are not equals," the king growled to the little boy one day, voice as cold as the steel of his crown. "She is of royal blood. You are not her friend, you are hers. She commands you."

Phainon stood still beneath that glare, hands clenched behind his back after his hand was ripped away from the princess's own. His own father stood beside the king, face unmoved. A wall of tradition and stubborn loyalty.

Phainon didn’t understand all the words, but he understood the tone. And the way the King’s hand lingered on the hilt of his sword even while speaking to children.

Later, when the King was gone, silence filled the space he left behind, until Her Majesty gently broke it. She kissed her daughter’s forehead, then turned to Phainon and combed his snowy white hair with her own fingers.

"You are more than what they say," she told him, voice quiet like prayer. "And to her, you’re more than even you know. And her thoughts are all that should matter."

Behind her, the maid stood quietly, a flicker of something knowing in her eyes. She had always understood the cost of being near royalty, and as much as she worried for her son, she trusted in Her Majesty more.

But childhood does not protect against the cruelty of the world forever. The quiet world they’d built of play and storybooks eventually shattered.

It happened in the same week.

The Queen’s room was sealed first, rumors fluttering through the castle like moths drawn to flame: an illness, a poison, a betrayal. By the time they carried her body out under black velvet, the maid was gone too—disappeared without a trace.

Not even a funeral, not even a grave.

Phainon cried the first night. Curled up beside the princess on her bed, he clenched the hem of her nightgown in his fist, as if it could keep him tethered to something that hadn’t vanished.

Both were still too young to understand death, but were old enough to feel the emptiness it brought. The princess reached out and ran her fingers through his hair.

"She said you were bright," she whispered. "So don’t go dim."

Phainon didn’t answer. He only cried quieter.

Time, as it always does, moved forward—uncaring.

The laughter that once echoed between the hedgerows wilted like the roses left untended. The princess no longer ran barefoot across the grass with Phainon trailing behind her, no longer insisted they chase fireflies until their fingertips glowed.

They were growing up... and apart.

It wasn’t sudden. It was slow. The space between them grew not with a single moment but with a thousand small silences, like frost creeping over a windowpane, easy to miss until everything was cold.

The princess became a fixture in court: upright, poised, learned in the languages of diplomacy and cruelty alike. Every step she took was watched, weighed, recorded. Every mistake was punished before it could become rumor.

Phainon, too, was growing. But unlike her, he grew like a shadow that had forgotten how to be a boy.

Without his mother’s hand to smooth back his hair, no warm voice to remind him that he was more than what they told him he was, there was only the King.

And the King was merciless.

"She is your purpose," he would say, voice like steel scraping bone. "You are not her friend. You are not her equal. You are hers. You exist because she lets you. Because I let you."

"You’re the sword sheathed at her side. Her creature. Her proof of power."

Phainon would nod, like he understood. He was still so small then—barely taller than the armrests of the thrones—but the words lodged in his ribs like splinters, festering.

"She doesn’t need your friendship," the King would sneer when Phainon dared to ask why she no longer looked at him the way she used to. "She needs your loyalty. Your obedience."

And when the King judged Phainon ready, he gave him a lesson, one he would never forget.

"Now, Phainon."

The 9-year-old looks up with big eyes, his face framed by a mop of snow-white curls. His Majesty towers over him, regal and imposing, but Phainon’s gaze quickly drops to the table. There, cold and gleaming, lies a small knife.

His hands twitch at his sides.

From across the table, the soft, terrified hissing of a kitten echoes. It's chained now—an iron collar around its tiny neck, the other end of the leash held in the King’s hand.

"This kitten hurt the Princess, didn’t it?" the King asks, his voice calm, but weighted, the kind that makes your stomach twist into knots.

Phainon’s lips twitch into a frown. His eyes glisten, wide with guilt. He doesn’t want to look. Doesn’t want to answer. But he nods, just barely.

"He did," he admits, voice trembling, nearly swallowed by the stillness of the room. A pout pulls at his mouth, quivering like he’s holding back tears. "I’m sorry, Your Majesty. I was supposed to protect her."

"No, no. Keep your tears, boy."

The King’s voice is quiet but firm, sharp enough to halt the trembling in Phainon’s lip. He doesn’t raise his voice, instead, he lowers himself, crouching just enough to meet the child’s eyes across the heavy oak table.

"Let this be a valuable lesson," he continues, gaze locked on the boy’s wide, blue eyes—eyes that are too young for what he's about to see, and yet too old to ever forget this moment. "You can't always protect her. She's bound to get herself hurt, one way or another... but..."

The word hangs there, a sharp hook in the air. The King watches him, making sure the boy doesn’t miss a single word.

"...There’s always something you can do to whoever dares to hurt her."

His Majesty’s voice never rises, but the tension behind it tightens like a drawn bowstring. Then, slowly, deliberately, he pushes the blade across the table, and the hilt stops just inches from Phainon's trembling fingers.

And then, with terrifying ease, the King lifts the hissing kitten and drops it on the table.

The creature scrambles, chain rattling as it claws at the polished wood. It’s small. Helpless. Hissing. Ears flattened. Tail lashing.

Phainon flinches.

"It's your job to ensure the Princess is safe," the King says, no longer a lesson but a command. A command that Phainon has carried since he first learned what her name was. "Or, at the very least... get revenge on those who hurt her."

The boy stares.

The blade.

The kitten.

The King.

"...You know what to do, don’t you, Phainon?"

His breath hitches.

The color drains from his face.

Still, the knife waits.

Phainon trembles.

His tiny shoulders shake as he stares at the blade, then at the King, and finally at the man standing silently behind His Majesty—Phainon's father. There’s no comfort in his presence. The man doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. His expression is unreadable, even as Phainon's eyes shimmer with unshed tears.

"I-I can’t." Phainon chokes out, voice cracking like thin glass. Terror wraps itself around his words. "I can’t."

Blue eyes flick to the kitten again, its fur puffed in fear, its hiss now a desperate whimper.

"He didn’t mean to hurt her," Phainon pleads. "He was just scared."

The King doesn’t blink.

"I’m afraid you don't have a choice," he says, still with that eerie calm. A cold decree wrapped in velvet.

"It hurt the Princess," he continues, voice unflinching. "The moment it did, it stopped being a living being."

He leans on the table, not getting any closer, but his words, his presence felt heavier. Like it was enough to fill the room, to crush the air from the boy's lungs

"It’s a monster now. Do you hear me, Phainon?"

The boy swallows hard, blinking past the blur of tears. He looks at the kitten again—still hissing, still trembling.

"But he..." Phainon begins, voice soft, breaking.

"The moment it hurt the Princess," the King cuts in, low and final, "it gave up its right to live."

His voice doesn’t rise, but it sharpens like the blade between them.

"Think of her cries. The pain in her voice. Her tears—" his tone dips into something dark, something that coils around Phainon’s heart and squeezes. "—and all because of those claws."

The kitten whines.

Phainon stares.

And the knife waits, still, and terribly patient.

Phainon doesn’t move.

He just stares. At the kitten, at the chain, at the trembling bundle of fur crouched on the table before him. But as the King’s voice continues, low and relentless, something begins to shift.

He’s no longer seeing the animal at all.

Instead, it’s the Princess he sees.

All he sees is the scratch on the Princess’s cheek.

The red that soaked into her sleeve.

Her lip quivering.

"It hurt her." The words fall from his lips, quite and hollow. His voice no longer shakes. His hands no longer tremble.

"It hurt her."

"That's it," the King says, voice like silk.

He watches as the boy reaches for the blade. Small fingers close around the hilt. The metal gleams.

The kitten hisses again, louder now, as if it's sensing something.

Phainon leans in, drawn not by hatred—no. Not even by rage. But by something... colder. Something he just learned.

Duty.

"...Now," the King murmurs, like a prayer or a curse, or perhaps, both. "I'll ask you again."

"You know what to do to those who hurt the Princess, don’t you, Phainon?"

The boy doesn't answer.

Not with words.

At the age of nine, Phainon took a life for the very first time.

And thus, he became her shadow. Silent, swift, ever-present. He followed her everywhere now—not as a companion, but as an extension. An arm. A blade.

He stopped asking for stories at night. Stopped humming the lullaby his mother used to sing when she brushed his hair. He stopped spelling his name in the dirt.

All he knew was how to wield a sword.

All he knew was being a knight.

All he knew was being hers.

The King was pleased.

The shadow had taken shape.

Phainon was never meant to shine. He was meant to burn—for her.

But beyond the palace—far from the King's gaze—Phainon wore a different face.

To the townspeople, he was kind. The kind of kind that never asked for thanks. The kind that carried baskets for old women and walked street children home during storms. He remembered their names. Remembered birthdays. Helped patch broken fences with his bare hands and paid out of pocket for medicine when a healer couldn’t be summoned in time.

When he smiled, it was real, soft at the edges, like morning light peeking through shutters. They called him The Perfect Knight. A flicker of warmth in a place where royalty rarely stooped low enough to see dirt on their boots.

"Such a good boy," the bakers would say, handing him extra rolls. "That’s a noble heart, that one."

He wasn't sure why he was doing what he did, but perhaps it was a shadow of what his mother once taught him, echoes of a time before the King rewrote him from the inside out.

But there is one thing he's sure of....

He's in love with the princess.

He loved her the way the King taught him to. The way a blade might love its sheath. The way a shrine loves the god it houses: devotion soaked in dread, worship steeped in dependency.

He consumes her with his eyes from a distance, always from a distance, because that was what shadows did. Though she barely noticed him. Not truly. Not like before.

She had grown into her crown. Her voice sharp, her spine steel. Her eyes, once full of sunlight and laughter, now held the weight of ruling too early, of losing too many things too soon.

Sometimes, he wondered if she missed their garden days. If she remembered how she used to trace letters into the dirt, if she remembered every smile she gave him before her mouth learned how to frown with dignity, every laugh before it was replaced with silence, every touch before she stopped reaching for him at all.

But he never asked. And she never said anything.

He just served. Always.

Anything for his light, his star, his sun.

And like all things that orbit too close to their star, he was burning from the inside out.

Phainon was in the room when the King said it.

He hadn’t been summoned; he never was, but he stood by her as he always did. Unmoving, unacknowledged.

"Her betrothal will be announced at the Festival," the King said, voice clipped and final. "A prince from across the sea. Wealthy. Fertile. That’s all that matters."

The words left the King’s mouth like a verdict.

Phainon didn’t move. Didn’t blink.

But inside, something cracked.

He looked at her—at her—sitting tall beside her father, silent and unreadable. Her hands were folded in her lap like a good heir. Her eyes forward. Her crown, a little heavier than usual.

She didn’t protest. Of course she didn’t.

She had been taught not to.

And so, quietly, something began to stir in him.

It started small.

A slip into town disguised in worn clothes, no insignia on his shoulder. Then another. And another. Phainon slipped out of the palace, and none of his fellow knights stopped him. No one ever did. They all knew him as the loyal one, the sword at the princess’s side. A boy who would die before he disobeyed.

The townspeople gathered at the edge of the square when he called. He stood beneath the statue of the old Queen, the one whose smile he barely remembered, but whose absence carved the path to where he now stood. His cloak pulled low, moonlight silvering his hair.

He never used the word rebellion. Not once.

He called it restoration. Correction. A return to what should have always been.

He didn’t want blood. Gods, he didn’t. Not hers. Not ever.

"We do this quietly," he told them. "No blades unless you must. No fire. We win hearts, not wars."

Because if she ever looked at him with fear in her eyes, if she ever thought him a traitor instead of a savior... He was sure he wouldn’t survive it.

This wasn’t just about the kingdom. It was about her. It had always been about her.

And even as he planned her father’s downfall, Phainon still prayed she’d understand. That one day she’d look at him not as the shadow she outgrew but as the light that refused to leave her side.

But things didn't go quite as he planned, there was a variable in his plan that he didn't expect, didn't think of happening...

The princess was meant to smile. To nod. To accept the prince’s jeweled hand and become a symbol, not a sovereign.

But she stood now, right there in the throne room, her voice sharp, unwavering, cutting through generations of obedience like a blade through silk.

"I refuse the betrothal."

She didn’t flinch even when her father turned to her. Didn’t lower her gaze.

"I will not marry him," she repeated. "I will not tie myself to a man I do not know to please a throne I am already an heir to."

Those words were like a balm to Phainon's soul, for the first time in years, he felt something bloom in his chest. She was still in there. His princess. The girl who made him spell his name in the dirt.

The King, however, did not feel the same.

The back of his hand cracked across her face.

A gasp tore from the maids in the throne room, sharp and ugly. She staggered—staggered—and Phainon moved without thinking, his footfall silent, breath caught like prey in a snare, and was quick to keep his liege on her feet.

As his sapphire gaze turned to look at the one across them, he didn’t see a man anymore. He saw a threat.

"You know what to do to those who hurt the Princess, don’t you, Phainon?"

The plan was supposed to be bloodless. But now? He stopped thinking of it as prevention. As resistance. He started calling it what it was.

Revolution.

And this time, there would be blood.

He made use of his status and privileges as the crown heir's personal knight; He knew where the guard loyalties fractured, knew which generals still grieved the Queen, which councilmen resented the King, and most importantly, the people trusted him.

Phainon was practically everywhere. Whispers in corridors, secret meetings in cellar taverns, folded letters inked with the sigil of a sun.

The night they rose, it was quiet. No drums. No banners.

Phainon planned it perfectly. The guards loyal to him moved swiftly through the corridors, disarming without killing where they could. He had studied the castle like a living body: where it bled, where it healed, where it could be broken.

And at its heart, the King.

"You traitor. I made you." the King hissed. "You would kill your King?"

"No," Phainon said softly, drawing his blade.

"I would kill the one who raised its hand against her."

But revolution, he learned, doesn’t end with a king’s death.

It spreads.

The man's blood had barely dried on the stone when the castle doors were thrown open, and the people surged like a tide. Phainon had expected fire, but fire with purpose. Order, not chaos.

A clean slate.

He had orchestrated everything down to the breath: which gate would fall first, which noble to spare, which guard to bribe, which lie to whisper into which ear.

It was supposed to be over—The King was dead.

But the revolution had grown teeth he hadn’t sharpened......

And now, they're about to bite her.

[levanswrites]

troubled cure, for a troubled mind

pairing: eddie munson x reader

summary: “It’s called E.” He tilts the tin toward you. “MDMA, if you wanna get technical.”

He pauses, raising his brows.

“This is what you were asking about, right?”

warnings: first time drug use, underage substance use, slow burn, intense pining, first kiss, light angst, fluff

word count: 4.7k

A/N: spent the last week doing nothing but thinking and writing abt eddie munson b/c i finally got around to watching s4 of stranger things. so late to the party, i know.

The pizza bagels were burning.

Eddie swears under his breath, yanking the tray from the rickety oven and dropping it onto the stovetop with a loud clank. 

From across the kitchen island, you flinch.

He winces, then apologizes, both sounds muffled as he crouches to shut the oven door. Peeks his head back up to see you perched on one edge of his couch, legs bouncing, hands fidgeting in your lap—the same restless energy you had earlier that day, at the forest bench behind the field.

That version of you who had toed the dirt with your shoe: I just… Chrissy said you could… Looked around all paranoid and jittery, like you were nervous to even be near him, let alone ask for something stronger than weed. 

And still—you’d shown up.

Though now, in his trailer, you look like you might change your mind again.

He fills a glass at the sink and sets it on the coffee table in front of you. Your knee is nearly vibrating.

He wipes his hand on his jeans and stands back up, divot between his brows.  

“You, uh… you sure you’re ok?”

Your fingers are clenched tight over your knees, knuckles pale like you’re bracing for impact—or escape.

But then, a breath. Slow.

And when you look up, something steadier settles behind your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Well,” he blinks, nudging the glass toward you with two fingers, “First step is this. Hydrate. Golden rule of every good night.”

You pick it up with both hands, barely casting him a glance, and take a careful sip.

“Thanks.”

Eddie nods, flopping into the armchair across from you, letting the cushions swallow him whole.

The silence that follows isn’t heavy. Just… taut.

Like a wire pulled tight between two fence posts. 

And maybe he should’ve said no the first time you asked. Maybe he should’ve said something different earlier, back at the bench, when you kicked at the dirt and couldn’t quite look at him.

His leg bounces once. Then stills. 

That guilt—it never shouts. Just sits low in his gut, chewing at the lining.

Nope. Just can’t let it go. 

“Listen, can I uh…” He frowns, rubbing at the bridge of his nose like it might knock loose the right words. “Can I ask why you wanna do this?”

Your fingers tighten around the glass, knuckles going pale again.

“I mean,” He’s leaned forward now, elbows to knees. “You don’t exactly seem like a…”

He trails off, the rest catching in his throat.

Junkie. Loser. 

Freak. 

The words hover—ugly, too easy—and he forces them back down, eyes locking on your mouth instead. It opens, then closes, like the answer’s caught somewhere between your teeth.

You glance up, eyes unreadable but not cold. Just distant in a way that makes him desperate to know what’s underneath. Beneath the gloss of mascara and lingering scent of floral hairspray.

Still, you don’t give it up.

“I just… wanna see what it’s like.” You shrug. 

And he might’ve failed algebra twice before Ms. O’Donnell finally let him slide by with a mercy D, but—this? 

This he’s good at. 

This he’s been doing long before he ever started selling anything. Rich jocks. Burnouts. Townies.

Different stories. Same hollow-eyed ache.

He could read through them like water spots on a page. 

But with you?

He’s got nothing.

Aside from Chrissy, you’re the first girl he couldn’t pin down at a glance.

You’re quieter, even more elusive than her.

Because Chrissy had that sparkle—that first-row cheerleader, homecoming queen kind of shine. Queen of Hawkins High. Everyone knows Chrissy Cunningham.

But you—you aren’t like the schoolyard royalty and laundry-basket-shooters you hang around.

Careful. Smart. Untouchable in a whole different way.

And that’s worse. That’s harder.

He nods, slowly. Stirs in his chair and tries to convince himself that he’s convinced. 

Then: 

Churn. 

Nope. 

“Yeah, see—” He lets out a sharp sigh, twisting in his seat. Rubs hard on that scar above his brow, left over from when he’d tried to give himself a piercing: “—I just can’t in good conscience give you this stuff without like… knowing? You know, like what it’s for?”

You’re silent for a while, and then: 

“Do you ask everyone else why they want what they’re buying?” 

There's something sharp in your voice, there. In your gaze. 

And yeah. That hits. That cuts through the fog.

Eddie lets out a short breath. Finally—something. You’ve given him something.

“Well, no,” he quirks a smile, scratching the back of his neck—because, yeah, you might’ve gotten him a little with that. “But with other people, I usually don’t have to ask, so…”

You blink at him. Once. Then again.

Then you sigh—a slow, low rush of air that softens your whole posture. The mask slips a little with the sag of your shoulders.

“I just… I get in my head sometimes.” You twist the glass in your lap. “I thought it could help.”

It’s less than he hoped for. But enough.

“Okay.”

He turns, finally dipping into the space between the armrest and the cushion, where loose change and guitar picks go to die. Comes back with a small silver Altoids tin, scuffed at the corners, hinge a little crooked.

“I keep the good stuff close,” he grins, jiggling it, but you don’t smile.

He pops the lid with his thumb. Inside, a few round pills rest against the scratched metal—tiny, pale, each stamped with a heart.

“It’s called E.” He tilts the tin toward you. “MDMA, if you wanna get technical.”

He pauses, raising his brows.

“This is what you were asking about, right?”

Barely more than a rumor out here in hicktown Hawkins, but enough to make ears perk up in locker rooms and parking lots. The all-new party drug that makes you want to feel everything and touch everyone. 

Your eyes land on the pills and they flicker—not quite fear, but something adjacent.

“Yeah… I think so.”

He knows that look. It’s the same one he wears in the mirror when he’d hold something in his palm and wonder if it’d make him feel better or worse.

“Got this fresh from an old buddy up in Chicago,” he sighs, flicking a pill gently with his nail.

You nod, slow. “And it’s… safe?”

He gasps—sudden, dramatic—snapping the tin closed and clutching it tight to his chest.

“Wow. You think I’d sell you something dangerous?” He flails backward, tongue out, flopped against the back of the armchair like he’s been mortally struck. “You wound me.”

“No, I just…” You blink, startled, then almost smile. “Sorry?”

He grins, easing upright again. Looks back down at the tin and sniffles quietly. 

“Nah, it’s safe.” He murmurs, quieter. He’s only tried it twice, sure, but both times came up clean—no spiraling trips, no laced crap. Just warmth. Connection. The kind of high that softens edges instead of cutting them open.

“They call it the love drug,” he adds, picking one up to roll it between his thumb and forefinger. “I’s not like acid. Doesn’t mess with your head like that. Just… makes things feel good. Music sounds better. People, too.”

You grow still, but his level gaze finds your fingers twitching in your lap. Just once.  

And that ache in his gut returns. Low. Uncomfortable.

A long pause, then:

“There’s a party, right?” His voice dropping, because he knows he’s toeing a thin line, “…that’s why you wanted to buy tonight?”

You look up, fast. And for a second, he thinks he’s screwed it, gone too far. That flicker in your eyes, like a match trying not to catch. 

But then you nod. Press your lips together.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” He dips his gaze, cracks the tin again with a little grin and pretends to count. “Well, I’ve only got enough for like… four, five people?”

You shake your head quickly. “No, it’s, it’s just for me.”

Figured.

The tin is strangely loud when he snaps it closed.

He slides one pill across the table between you. Halfway. 

“If you wanna try it,” he gestures, “I’d start with a half dose.”

A beat.

Then: “When’s the last time you ate?”

You blink cutely, then shake your head. 

“I don’t know—lunch, maybe?”

Eddie grins, bouncing off the armchair with a dramatic exhale. 

“Then you, my friend, have arrived just in time for the gourmet portion of the evening.”

Another twitch of a smile from you—small, but real. 

He jogs to the kitchen and comes back with a plateful of burnt pizza bagels. 

“I was nine, okay?”

Your laughter spills over the rim of the Shasta can, teeth clicking softly against the metal. You wave your hand like it’s nothing, like the story isn’t objectively ridiculous—but your eyes are bright now, and you’re actually laughing, so he’s calling it a win.

“And you faked rabies.”

You nod, completely serious. “Chewed up an Alka-Seltzer. Full commitment.”

He barks a laugh.

“You’re a menace,” he grins, biting down on the skull on his ring finger. “How’d I not know you back then?”

“I dunno,” you shrug, sly smile on your tongue. “Maybe you were too busy lighting things on fire behind the gym.”

He blinks, surprised. So you do remember him.

“Hey. Only twice.” He grins, pointing.

You roll your eyes, still smiling, and settle deeper into the couch. Shoulders dropped, legs tucked. 

He’s busy observing the way the streetlamp light flickers across your hair through the slatted blinds, when your gaze slides to the broken clock on the VCR.

Your smile falters.

“Shoot, what time is it?”

He squints at his wristwatch. “Uh, 9:30.”

Only a half hour ’til your little party. Your boyfriend, Andy Reynold’s party, to be exact. 

Well, you never actually use the word ‘boyfriend,’ but you also can’t hold eye contact when you talk about him, either.

Not like it matters, anyway. He’s pretty sure that whole group—Carver, Reynolds, the rest of Hawkins High’s Letterman mafia—are just dating each other in one endless ego-loop.

He looks over to find that you’ve gone still again. Back to perching, hands in your lap.

“Okay, so I should…” Your eyes flit to the white dot on the table. “I should take it now, right? Just so it’s… y’know. Working by then?” 

He straightens a little, blinking slow. Wonders what he should say. His head tilts just off-center, hair slipping into his face.

“I just…” you add, voice a little smaller. “I want you here when—if anything feels weird.”

That look. Wide-eyed. Bare.  

He swallows.

“Yeah, if you…” Nods once. Then again. “Sure, okay.”

A pause.

“How long?” you ask.

“Hm?”

“How long ‘til it… works?”

He scratches the back of his neck, shrugging. 

“Half an hour. Hour tops, depending on your stomach.”

You nod, steady now. Inhale. Exhale. 

Then you reach for the whole tablet.

“Whoa, hey—” He stops you gently, a smile ghosting his lips. 

Presses his nail into the heart and snaps it clean in two.

“Start with this,” Drops one into your palm, the other half still balanced in his hand. “See how it sits.”

You blink up at him one last time, then slip the pill past your lips.  

He watches, brows arched—at the way your face scrunches at the chemical taste, the way you desperately chase it with soda.

“Yeah,” he mutters, lips twitching, “they don’t exactly make ‘em in cherry.”

Then he leans back, drumming idly against the armrest. 

Thinks about the joint in his vest pocket, burning a hole through the denim.

His fingers twitch. 

“Hey,” He looks up with a loud grin, “You know how to play UNO?”

Eddie notices it long before you do.

He clocks it between turns, glancing sideways from where he’s migrated—no longer in the armchair but slouched on the other end of the couch, more than a cushion’s width and a sprawl of half-played cards between you.

You’re still in the same spot, but something’s changed.

One arm hooked loosely around a throw pillow. Sweater sleeve slipping down your shoulder. Your head tilted just so, resting against the back cushion.

Not fully surrendered, but close.

He tosses a yellow 4 onto the pile, watching the way your eyes drift around his living room, catching on the clutter—the mugs, the hats, the crooked posters, the tiny army of miniatures marching across every shelf.

“Do you live here alone?”

“With my uncle,” he mutters, scratching the side of his neck, rings glinting dull under the light. “He’s working nights lately, though, so it’s just me.”

A pause, then:

“Uno.”

“What? Aw, c’mon—again?”

You giggle, pupils dark and stretched like spilled ink. You drop a green 4 on the pile, fingers a little slower than before.

“Gotta keep up, Munson.”

He watches you—openly now. A little shameless.

Thinks about how many people must look at you all the time.

But no one watches.

“Hey, uh,” he murmurs after a beat, “If that stuff starts kicking in soon, you might feel warm. Floaty. Or, like… hyperaware of everything?” 

He crinkles the flimsy card edges in his palm. 

“That’s normal. But if anything feels bad, you tell me. Kay?”

You blink, pursing your lips, then nod. 

“Okay.”

He nods back. Pulls a new card from the deck. Doesn’t even look at it.

“I’m glad it’s you.”

He freezes, feeling something shift behind his ribs.

He blinks at the stack of cards in front of him, then glances up at you. 

“Alright,” he grins defeatedly. “Your turn. Finish me off, Ms. Rabies.”

You haven’t said anything in a while. 

But when he looks over, he notices warmth rising up your neck, blooming across your cheeks. And the sheen in your eyes—bright, glassy. 

Yep. The E had you riding high now. Soft, euphoric, buzzing gently beneath the skin.

You sigh quietly. 

“It’s kinda warm in here.”

“Yeah, that’s the stuff kicking in,” he murmurs, getting up. “One sec.”

Flicks on the small fan next to the TV and cracks the window behind the couch, letting in the early sounds of night—crickets, the whispers of dry grass, distant music from a trailer window. A dog barks. 

An easy draft slithers in, and the curtains flutter like breath.

When he turns back around, you’re watching him, pupils blown so big they almost swallow the pool of your eyes.

That open, wide-eyed look. 

“You’re really nice.”

He huffs out a smile, caught off guard. “I—uh. Thanks?”

“No, like…” You purse your lips, “You didn’t judge. Didn’t try to convince me or make it a thing. Just… let me be.”

He exhales, scratching at the back of his neck as he eases back down beside you. “Well, I think I’m like, the last person in Hawkins who gets to judge anyone else, so…”

Your head tilts—curious, genuine. 

“Why?”

He blinks slow, leaning back a touch.  

“Uhh,” Brows knit as he studies your earnest expression—not a hint of sarcasm in sight. 

A cursory glance at your surroundings would more than suffice as an answer, yet your eyes are only fixed on him.  

“I mean,” he shrugs, smiling, “I live in a glorified tin can with like, 200 mugs and a broken microwave? Been held back from graduating twice, so—” 

He laughs. 

“Not exactly in a position to judge.”

Your jaw shifts, tongue tracing the edge of your bottom lip in a slow drag.

Then you mutter, voice low and sticky:

"That’s the thing, though. You don’t pretend. Everyone else does."

You let out a soft breath, shaking your head and looking out through the half-open window. 

“You don’t… put on a show. Not like me. I’m like, ninety percent fake smiles at this point.”

A soft pause. The dog barks again somewhere outside. A voice shouts faintly in the distance.

This time, when you look back at him, your smile is different.

“Plus, I like your mugs.” You shrug, eyes flitting over to the collection on the far side of the wall. 

You lick your lips again. 

“Here.” He clears his throat, and reaches for the glass of water on the table, still nearly full.  

He swallows thickly as he watches you drink, like he’s the one with dry mouth. 

After that, you go quiet again for a while. 

The couch had you now—your spine curved, head tipped against the cushion as it swallows you whole. Eyes studying the ceiling, like the stucco texture is some kind of holy map only you can read.

And your fingers.

The way they drag along the edge of your jeans, catching and skating over seams. Trailing along the hem of your sweater, pluck at a little loose thread. 

You twirl it between your fingers like it’s a secret, like it’s talking back.

And your face—fuck. That slow-bloom softness, lips parted just slightly, a tiny crease between your brows that comes and goes like a tide.

Eddie doesn’t say anything. Just watches.

Then you let out a soft hum, the faintest sound in the back of your throat. 

He smiles, soft and unseen.

“Hey,” He whispers, cheeks pressed to his fist, blinking through the curtain of his hair. “You still with me?”

You hum again—low, distracted. Head still tipped upward. 

Then:

“Your ceiling’s moving.”

He grins, relieved.

“Yeah? What’s it saying?”

You tilt your head toward him, pupils blown wide, smile lazy and dream-slanted.

“Dunno yet. But I think it likes me.”

He laughs, leaning back, and you giggle—so easy, effortless, like you weren’t fighting it anymore. And god, he liked hearing that. Could’ve kept feeding you lines just to keep it going.

He watches you breathe in, slow and even.

“I keep thinking about the sky,” you murmur suddenly. “Is that weird?”

He blinks. “Nah. The sky’s a solid topic.”

“No, but like… I feel like I’m inside the sky.” Your head rolls back against the cushion. “Like it’s in here now.” Your finger slides over to a spot on your chest, right above your heart.

His throat tightens a little. Watches your finger for a second longer than he should. 

Then he shifts, folding his own hands over his lap, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling like he might be able to see through it too.

Then, after a long pause:

“I don’t want to go to the party tonight.”

Eddie blinks.

“Don’t think I’m ready to, you know… go there, with him.”

Him?

He doesn’t ask. Just tilts his head toward you, cheek pressing into scratchy fabric. 

You're rubbing over that spot on your chest, frowning. 

“I keep telling myself I should. Like it’s… the thing I’m supposed to do. Like it’d make me feel normal. Or good. Or something.”

You lower lip twitches.

“But I just keep feeling sick.”

You blink. Eyes glossy but steady.

“I dunno, I thought this stuff would make all that easier. Heard it was s’posed to make you… want, or whatever.”

It hits him, then, like a slow punch to the chest.

And he wants to say, That’s not what this is for. Or, You don’t need to be brave for something that isn’t right.

But you already know. 

So when your eyes meet his again—searching, unsure—he just smiles.

“Then fuck him,” he shrugs, “And I mean that in the anti-literal sense.”

And it anchors something deep in him, the way you laugh in response—sharp through your nose, soft at the edges. A real smile creeping in as you look back up at the ceiling.

A long pause. Heavy in a good way.  

Then, just barely audible:

“K.”

“C’mon, gorgeous, where are you…”

Eddie croons into a dusty stack of cassettes, shoved into a sagging cardboard box next to the TV. He’s crouched on his knees, elbows planted, brows furrowed—a man on a mission. The kind of mission that only makes sense when your skin’s still buzzing and you’ve got just enough time to chase the perfect song before the comedown sets in.

He flips through the collection, cracked plastic cases clicking under his touch, until his index finger lands on the one he’s been looking for—old, label half-peeled, probably dubbed over a dozen times.

“Yes. Found it,” he calls over his shoulder, triumphant, and jams it into his uncle’s battered boombox, pressing play. 

The soft whir of the tape rewinding. A second of static crackle.

Then it begins, the first few notes drifting out slow, warm, and low. Deep guitar, hushed vocals—something from his secret stash of ‘not metal but still fucking magical.’    

When he turns around, you’ve already slid off the couch and onto the floor, limbs flopped out, eyes fixed on the ceiling. 

He smiles, dropping down right beside you, body parallel to yours. Joins your gaze on the ceiling and lets himself drift in the same space. 

The song starts to weave around you like fog. Soft, sticky-sweet, old tape hiss woven between each note. Your arm feels close. Closer than before. The backs of your hands just shy of brushing where they lay side by side on the floor.

He lies like that for a while. 

Listening to the hush and haze of the tape—warped edges, gentle warble, every note stitched with the soft static of time—and wonders what it sounds like to you. 

If the music brushes your ribs like it does his,

If it stirs the same ache in your blood,

If it's drawing maps he’ll never get to see.

Then—he feels it.

The slightest twitch in your fingers. Just once. Barely anything. But his senses are lit up, stretched thin in that dreamy in-between state despite the fact that he’s completely sober, and somehow he knows. 

Doesn’t see it, just feels.

Like a pulse. Then still again.

He keeps his hand exactly where it is. Palm to the ceiling, not reaching. Just open.

And then—

You move again.

Slow, like you’re thinking through every inch, crawling closer and closer. 

The side of your hand brushes his, barely there, and then your pinky moves—climbing onto his thumb, curling over it tentatively, like a cat settling into a warm lap. Testing weight. Seeking stillness.

And then the rest of your fingers follow, one by one, slow as breath, until your hand settles against his—

Palm to palm, not laced together. Just touching.

His throat goes dry. Not in the holy-shit-she’s-touching-me kind of way. No, this isn’t a move.

This is you anchoring.

He shifts, just enough to clasp his fingers between yours. Fills in the gaps and settles.

You exhale.

And it sounds like relief.

He’s pretty sure he blacks out for a good minute or two.

Silence so thick it swallows the music and the steady hammer of his heart.

Then, a whisper—something like his name—floats up from beneath him.

Your fingers squeeze his, curling around the back of his hand.

“Is this okay?”

He turns his head—slow, drawn—to find you watching him. He barely nods, the rough carpet scratching his right ear, your hair tickling warmly against his cheek. 

You roll a little closer, breaths mingling—shoulders press, knees graze.

The scent of floral hairspray, cherry lip gloss—all pretty and done up for the party you missed. 

Then he realizes you’re staring at his lips.  

Not subtly. Not accidentally.

Intense enough to burn a hole through him. 

And before he can make a sound, you lean in.

And he—

He just lets you.

Doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe. 

Just closes his eyes the second he feels your breath against his lips. 

The kiss is almost chaste—barely there, a whisper of a thing—yet it sears behind his eyes like the afterimage of the sun. Bright. Burning. Eternal.

And he thinks it has to be you. The way you glow. 

With your flushed cheeks and trembling hands and the ridiculous way your soul still shines through all your careful armor.

You pull back a second later, though it feels like hours, and exhale a small, stunned laugh against his lips, a happy little sigh that makes him want to die.

Or melt.

Or explode.

Or sink straight through the floor and burn alive in eternal damnation, because that’s where he’s falling—straight down.

Down through the cheap floorboards, through the cracked linoleum and worn carpet of his piece-of-shit trailer, straight to the molten core. Down, down, all the way to Nessus—the ninth layer— where the fire burns clean and nothing escapes the pull of its lord. 

Fuck—he’s so far gone and he’s not even high on anything. 

That thing writhes low in his stomach again, curling in on itself, and twists.

Inviting a pretty girl over to his place, late at night, for drugs she’s never even seen before. Kissing her on the dirty floor of his trailer, like he’s some cliché with bad intentions.

But then—

You open your eyes.

Long after he’s opened his.

And your smile—that quiet, blissed-out curve of it—sends something crashing through him.

Your head tips back against the carpet, your hair spilling like light around your shoulders.

You mumble something about how much you love this song, letting your eyes slip shut as you turn your head toward the ceiling.

He stares up at the rusty-white overhead of his trailer, and thinks about the sky. 

It hits in small shifts.

Still soft, still close—but quieter. Only the low whir of the tape spinning in silence, long after the B-side’s ended.

He swallows. Scratches at his jaw.

“You feelin’ okay?” he asks, voice low, trying not to spook it.

You give him a delayed nod. 

“Yeah. Just…” You trail off. Sigh through your nose. “Feels weird now.”

He nods.

“Yeah. That’s normal. It fades out kinda slow.”

He shifts onto his side, props himself up on one elbow.

Glances at his wrist—past midnight. 

“It’s late, I could, uh…” He stands slowly, bones cracking like he’s twice his age. Offers you a hand. “If you want, I could drive you home. Or… wherever you’re going.”

“Home’s fine,” you say eventually, slipping your hand in his. “If that’s okay.”

“Sure.”

“I’ve got gum if you want it,” he calls out, moving to the clutter near the sink while you stretch out your limbs. “Helps with the jaw thing.”

The clock on the microwave’s still frozen—3:17.

You blink. “Jaw thing?”

“Some people clench while coming down. Not always, but… y’know. Just in case.”

You take the gum—spearmint, probably stale. He shrugs his jacket off the hook, and tosses you your bag.  

Neither of you talk much on the drive.

He keeps glancing over, just to make sure you’re still breathing easy.

You stare out the window as streetlights flicker past, gold stripes cutting through the dark.

When he pulls up at your curb—headlights painting lazy arcs across your front walk—neither of you move to open the door. 

Something crinkles beside him and he turns to watch you fish out a handful of bills from your sweater pocket, pushing them awkwardly across the console. 

“For the…” You trail off, unable to meet his eyes. 

He gives you a look. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, folding the bills gently back in your fist. “Consider it a… friend discount.”

A protest starts, then dies. You close your hand around the money and hold it until your knuckles grow white.

With one hand on the doorframe, you look back:

“Hey, Eddie?”

“Yeah?” He glances over, rings cutting into his fingers where he clutches the wheel. 

“Thanks for…” You step back, hand sliding down the chipped paint and returning to your side. “Y’know.”

He grins, shooting you a wink. 

“Anytime, Rabies.”

Back outside his trailer, Eddie stands in the patchy yard, head tipped back, the air thick with cut grass and trailer-park gasoline.

Above him, the sky drapes over him like velvet—deep indigo, a thousand pinhole stars clinging in wild clusters. 

He stays like that for a while, jaw tight, hands in his pockets.

He stares up at the endless stretch of night, and thinks about you.

A/N: I had fun writing eddie for the first time! also went down a rabbit hole researching ecstasy + the 80s lol. lmk ur thoughts! comments and reblogs are always appreciated :)