#i wouldnt be doing so to try and get into a relationship
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I really want Mane to come back in uu maybe its just cause I’m a Mane enjoyer and I’m sure hes busy irl or smthn but I really, really want him to come back as a villain for honestly anyone
originally I thought Wemmbu would be the coolest to have Mane as a villain, because it would be good to see how Wemmbu has grown since the Mane training arc and have Mane either praise or ridicule Wemmbus progress. it would also seriously fuck Wemmbu up, having someone that he looked up to so much and has been more or less friends with since the prince Zam empire arc not only try to kill him but actively hate him. this could either be because Wemmbu didnt trust Mane and left him, or because someone else intervened and gave Mane a reason to kill Wemmbu (yes another hired assassin arc ik), or maybe there was something Wemmbu did on accident or offhandedly that was a personal slight to Mane. maybe Mane has bigger plans and needs Wemmbu out of the way for them, similar to Ashs view on Parrot(note! I havent finished parrots pov that might be a shit take on ash as a villain for parrot). maybe Mane wants Wemmbus mace, since i dont think he has one and its directly referenced as part of Manes fighting style and is already shown to be important to him, being the initial reason Mane decides to train Wemmbu. whatever his reason, I would love to see Mane and Wemmbus semi rocky but overall very good (for wemmbu) relationship go seriously sour. Wemmbu would be hesitant to fight him and they would both be a little too familiar with each others combat style and the insults or jabs they would exchange would be cutting.
on the other hand, Mane could also be a really good enemy for Flame. its established from Wemmbus videos that they had a relationship either before or during princezam empire, and theyve had SOME kind of problem since Mane betrayed. so Mane pretty much already has a motivation and Mane would actually get Flames attention, even without the insane levels of annoyance the toxic players had to reach before Flame considered them an issue. also it would be a really really cool way to explore Flames past, considering he was such an important antagonist for multiple s1 protags and has clearly been a major player on the server in general, even though we only get to see him in a ver specific light. but seeing Flames past relationships, obviously I’m thinking about with Mane but even with Zam or Sorrin, and seeing what they think of him now- god that could be cool. and similar to the idea with Wemmbu, Mane could be a serious threat because he knows Flame, or at least he did. Mane could reasonably be someone who would know Flame well enough to pose a serious threat, maybe Mane couldnt take him in a straight fight but if Mane got a mace or if hes playing mind games with Flame, he could use his knowledge of how Flames brain works to always stay one step ahead. this could also work with the foreshadowing of Lomedys friend and ego being Flames downfall, since Flame would assume Mane is less of a threat because he knows hes better at pvp than Mane, which Mane would use to probably lure him into a trap. Mane has been trying to i think kill Flame for a while now, so ofc hed continue with that maybe with some new weapon hes been busy getting for the past few months. maybe hes had to travel trillions of blocks to find an undestroyed trial chamber for a mace.
but also also, playing off of the idea I had while watching Wemmbus new tournament video, what if we did both? what if Mane came back to fight Flame, but because of Flame and Wemmbus friendly rivalry, he keeps running into Wemmbu too. even better, maybe the first time or first few times Wemmbu and Mane are almost avoiding each other- theyre both fighting Flame, they used to be friends, so they should work together, but it feels wrong. their opinions on him and feelings about Flame are so different and they best they can bring themselves to do is to not get in each others way. ofc, that wouldnt work for long, and at some point Mane would start trying to kill Wemmbu too, which could lead to Wemmbu deciding to put the fight with Flame on hold to deal with the much bigger and more genuine threat of Mane. the banter would be crazy, Wemmbu and Flame would be constantly arguing and butting heads, maybe to the point that one of them leaves at some point(maybe wemmbu to work with mane again). and since all three of them know each other so well, any and all comments and tactics would be incredibly personal and emotional.
I also wouldnt mind Mane being a villain for Parrot or Spoke for a completely unrelated reason, like hes trying to kill one of them and they accidentally run into Wemmbu or Flame and Mane is just like are you serious not this guy again. Maybe Spoke invades his base too, or Wifies hires Mane as a guard for Parrot(I personally dont think he will be hiring any guards or anything because he wont trust them with parrot but yk). it would be really cool for a character with history to show up somewhere that ISNT their history, like Minute showing up in Wemmbus video. if Mane showed up in Spoke or Parrots pov and either his past isnt mentioned or its only talked about indirectly(looking at minutes ‘you dont want to become the villain of your own story’ that was NOT about our purple bug </3), I would still go feral.
this ideas are combinable, I also really like the idea that Mane or anyone honestly causes problems for every protag, similar to Ash, and forces the gang together. but also what if each problem was like personal, where each of the protagonists genuinely fucking hates Mane for their own reason. in s1 Wemmbu specifically didnt really have a reason for hating Ash, he just happened to dislike someone working with Ash and it was pretty much just convenient for him to team up with Parrot and Spoke. he didnt have a lot of emotional stakes in it, it was more like Ash was causing problems for everyone and Wemmbu was coincidentally an everyone. but Mane could have personal beef with each protagonist- using the ideas I have already, Mane comes back to try to kill Flame and as a side hustle to get him rich and shit he works for the Director to keep Parrot trapped somewhere (maybe Parrot manages to get away from Wifies and Mane gets hired to track him down). While doing this, Spoke starts fucking with his base(probably after loot Wifies gave him) and Wemmbu is also trying to fight Flame at the same time. Its a lot of layers and moving pieces, but i really like it when everyone has multiple things going on at the same time and theyre all overwhelmed n shit. Parrot would be mainly dealing with Wifies and Mane would just be someone Wifies hired, Spoke would just be being spoke, Wemmbu could be trying to balance his morals and pick between two people he hates, and Flame kind of gets the short end of it all with Mane and Wemmbu giving him grief.
I just want a serious villain with emotional baggage guys I love uu but I’m so sick of faceless underdeveloped unimportant villains
#I’m kind of desperate but also I just do this with stories#this is why I like bingeing content the moment you leave me without content this happens#and then I get sad when it doesnt happen how I imagined#I’ve taught myself to be terrible at predicting plot twists because if I think ahead at all I do this and get waaaaay into it#my bad chat :3#unstable universe#uu#uu spoilers#technically#wemmbu#parrotx2#spokeishere#wemmbumc#flamefrags#manepear#its like mostly about manepear how did that happen#ashswag#wifies#minutetech#lomedy#all four of them get mentioned I think#I’ve been fed NEW#UNSPOILED#UNKNOWN#uu content (wemmbus new vid) and now I’m going insane bcuz this is what happens when the fandom doesnt dictate my thoughts about the sillies#princezam#he gets mentioned tangentially too
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more stuff i found/more timeline thoughts
mostly inspired by this post by bibi
okay so first i wanna adjust a lot of the years of the timeline a bit. the post mentioned that zooble hadnt been there that long before pomni. i also forgot that goose confirmed ages for characters, so everything gets pushed back a few years. ragathas is now gonna be 2013 rather than 06, kaufmo is now 2014 instead of 09, jax and ribbit are now 2017 and not 2012, gangle is now 2019 and not 2015, zooble is 2022 and not 2018, and pomni stays at 2023.
this does throw off the whole "longest time without an abstraction" but fucks with jax a lot so the angst balances out for me. it also means the abstractions are happening more often, possibly from the circus starting to glitch out more intensely
the post also mentions the idea of zooble and gangle having not seen an abstraction, which i like. my thoughts now are that jax was there when ribbit abstracted, possibly in physical contact when it happened, and it was *devastating*. in order to try and protect the new members, gangle wasnt told about ribbit and (lets be honest, it was ragathas idea) was distracted when they noticed the signs of the last unnamed player abstracting. zooble also wasnt told about the previous abstraction when they arrived.
anyways. this means that kaufmo was the first abstraction that gangle and zooble actually witnessed in any real capacity.
speaking of that, age thoughts!
okay so confirmed ages (in 2023) are
jax, 22, born 2001
zooble, 22, born 2001
pomni, 25, born 1998
gangle, 26, born 1997
ragatha, 30, born 1993
kinger, 48, born 1975
so, based on these ages and my revised timeline of when they joined the circus, (and assuming the ages are their current day ages and not the ages they joined the circus), kinger joined at the age of 25, ragatha at 20, jax at 16, gangle at 20, zooble at 21, and pomni at 25.
im also assuming that jax and ribbit were the same age, so yes, im implying that jax watched their childhood friend "die" in their arms before they even got halfway through highschool.
and speaking of angsty implications. oh boy do i have thoughts about how the fuck an abandoned building managed to keep paying its power bill enough to run the digital circus for almost a quarter of a century with no maintainence. right now im torn between two possible ways that this works. either the bodys are absorbed into the circus with the minds, or they arent. if they are, then it means that someone working for/with C&A are actively luring people into the circus when they notice the signs of an abstraction in order to maintain 6 players. if the bodys *dont* travel into the circus however, then not only are they lured into putting on the headset and replacing the abstractinf member, but someone is then collecting the body and moving it to avoid suspicion near the headset. why would they do this? fuck if i know tbh, im just mentally ill about this animated horror show. but it does mean they lured two teenagers to go missing inside the circus. anyways im gonna transition to backstory implications now and why each person was chosen for the circus!
first off, easiest to explain. kinger worked for C&A. all the initial circus members probably worked on it or were specially invited like queenie due to a connection on the team. the team going missing couldve been covered up by C&A
next up, most explicit backstory, ragatha! she very clearly had a... complicated... relationship with her mother, and growing up on a farm was possibly very isolated from everyone else growing up. this combined with her more anxious and aggressively positive nature pushed people away and she likely had nobody who wouldve gone looking for her when she entered the circus and vanished.
gangle, fairly sad, but its implied she was very isolated and depressed, and possibly entered the abandoned C&A building to end her life in a secluded area where it wouldnt catch any attention, thus she also had nobody to go looking for her when she disappeared
zooble. zooble fucks up my ideas like the queer icon they are. they seem pretty well adjusted and had fairly normal jobs where they wouldve made a lot of connections, i cant really explain how nobody would go looking for them. either C&A covered it up, or they got desperate when players started abstracting faster and didn't care
pomni is similar, but untitled does make a point to say nobody watched her YouTube videos and that she explored the abandoned buildings out of boredom, so this could imply she didnt really have friends and nobody looked either.
jax. oh the angst with jax. for this timeline, hes not only the youngest irl but also the youngest by far to enter the circus. when everyone else was talking about their adult jobs and the lives they had before the circus he simply recited a tv show that he had seen. not wanting the others to realize that he didnt have the same life that they did. jax looks away when ragatha talks about her mom, almost like he understands not having anyone to guide you. but at least he had ribbit right? jax and ribbit were just kids when they arrived. ribbit was still just a kid when they abstracted. and jax was still just a kid when they watched it happen.
anyways, sorry for the angst, love yall, ill add more to this later probably
Quick lil TADC timeline cuz hyperfixation
While we dont have much to go off for a lot of this, theres a few things that do lead to a rough timeline of events for when everyone got to the circus and how they got there. if ive gotten anything wrong or missed anything that goose has confirmed before then please correct me. also obv this is all mostly theories so might change with new episodes or based on how you interpret my proof. while i dont have any proof in universe for specific years i mention, ill be giving specific yearss for thematic reasons towards the end.
Sometime in the vauge past, though judging by the computer and kingers age id guess around late 90's, C&A creates The Amazing Digital Circus for... reasons. It is a virtual reality multiplayer game in which the helpful artificial inteligence of Caine creates fun short adventures for the players to go on. Something in this development goes wrong and during testing, at least two players are "trapped" within the game. Since Kinger has been in the circus the longest and has 7 years of computer science experience it makes sense he worked for C&A and was the first to enter the circus.
Kinger, his wife Queenie, and 4 others enter the circus in 2000, and sometime later Queenie is the first to abstract. I believe this happened before anyone in the main cast entered since the others didnt really seem to know about her.
Based on the crossed off doors weve seen at various points, we know of at least 12 players who have abstracted. Based on the trend of a new circus member entering when an abstraction happens, I believe that Queenie and 4 others all abstracted and were replaced with new players, the next player to abstract brings in Ragatha.
Ragatha enters sometime in the mid 00s, id guess around 06' based on nothing but vibes. She mentions being in real estate and was possibly looking around the now defunct C&A building attempting to prep it for sale when she found the headset.
Slight weird idea, but i think it makes sense. Next to join the circus was Kaufmo. we know very little about kaufmo so hes here mostly because it just feels weird for him to have joined after jax and gangle did. he joins sometime around 09'.
at this point in the timeline weve had Queenie and 6 unnamed players abstract, the most recent two having been replaced by ragatha and kaufmo. the circus currently consists of Kinger, Ragatha, Kaufmo, and 3 unnamed players.
2 of those players abstract fairly close together and are replaced by Jax and Ribbit. This happens sometime around 12' since jax makes the breaking bad refference in ep 5 and that didnt really have major success until it was added to netflix in 2011. Jax and Ribbit likely went in together and knew each other outside the circus like Kinger and Queenie did, but after over a decade in the circus (plus seeing 9 abstractions already) Kinger has become unstable enough to not mention any similarities. Jax and Ribbit were very close.
Sometime later, ill say 15', Ribbit abstracts and is replaced by Gangle, which seems to have deeply affected Jax. This likely caused his tail to fall off as that can happen to rabbits due to injury or trauma, alongside him symbolicly losing a part of himself with Ribbit. Based on his manerisms its also likely that he blames himself in some way for Ribbits abstraction, anger which he externalizes and takes out on Gangle
A few years later the last unnamed player is abstracted and replaced with Zooble, ill say sometime around 18' for thematic reasons in the next point. We know Zooble enjoyed to look around abandoned buildings and likely found the headset inside the now very abandoned C&A building that Ragatha was attempting to sell.
Its now 2023 and our current cast is Kinger (in the circus for roughly 23 years), Ragatha, (~18 years), Kaufmo (~16 years), Jax (~11 years), Gangle (~8 years), and Zooble (~5 years). Queenie and 10 unnamed players have abstracted, many of them within the first 5 years of the circus first being created. its been roughly 5 years since the last abstraction, the longest period of "peace" since the circus first opened at the turn of the century.
Kaufmo then abstracts and is replaced by Pomni. She was exploring an abandoned building and found the headset, putting it on and finding herself in the digital circus. She tries to leave but its too late. Kaufmo has abstracted, and she is now trapped.
To Pomni its meaningless, at least when compared to everything else going on. To Zooble its a coincidence that they both joined right as another abstracted. to Gangle its a pattern and another cause of anxiety. To Jax, its a sign that maybe it wasnt his fault, that he doesnt need to lash out any more. To Ragatha its another tradgey, another lost friend. And to Kinger, its another one who he hopes can find some peace and quiet inside the darkness of the Cellar, just like how Queenie found some peace and quiet inside their fort together.
I dont believe any of the main cast will properly abstract. theyll definitely get close for the sake of stakes and drama, but the circus seems to like having 6 cast members at a time.
okay ramble time now
ooo wow writing out this timeline was really fun for me, i absolutely love it tbh and it became way more then i was initially intending. my initial post was just gonna be "Kinger and Queenie joined first, then it went ragatha, jax, ribbit, gangle, zooble, pomni" and then it just kept growing as i looked through more of the wiki and everything kinda fell into place for me. this is definitely not the full extent of the theories i believe (saw someone say C&A could mean Caine and Abel and i love that. also love the trans jax truthers, idk if ill fully commit it to my headcanons, but i do appreciate yall) so i might make more scattered posts about theories and headcanons, but this is a good balance between every thought i have about this show and the barebones "what order they joined" timeline i initially planned to make.
#tadc jax#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc zooble#tadc kinger#tadc kaufmo#tadc gangle#tadc theory#tadc#the amazing digital circus theory#the amazing digital circus#the amazing digital circus timeline#tadc timeline
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#rejection and heartbreak rant part 3#i wonder if hell let me adore him as friends#but im right back where i started before confessing#where im afraid to be affectionate because i dont know how he feels about it#except now i fear even more than hell be uncomfortable#i asked him his boundaries on physical affection once and he said he wasnt ok with it when there was a deeper meaning#idk being in love with him seems like a deeper meaning to him#i wouldnt be doing so to try and get into a relationship#i really just want to fucking relax and enjoy one of my two comfort people#but everythings messy#im pretty sure id be happy without a relationship as long as i could freely show my love#but i dont know if hed be alright with that#we starting talking a bit about that#but i didnt get very far because i didnt want to overwhelm him with everything at once#why does he have to be the most complicated and closed off person ive ever met /aff#i wish i knew all his thoughts#i wish he wanted me#im not delusional when i say were practically perfect for each other#oh and im afraid that even if i am happy adoring him but not being with him#that hell choose a romantic partner over me and leave#because lets me honest#thats what happens in society#i dream of having a home and raising a family with him and my qpr#(who he loves /pl as well)#(or at least i assume platonically)#(but a part of me fears that maybe he likes her instead)#(he always did prefer fem people and shes way more confident and funny and similar to him than me)#anyway returning to my dreams with him in the next part#him
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Just to be clear: Rook does not save Lucanis. Lucanis saves Lucanis. Lucanis gets himself out of the Ossuary in his head, Rook just gives him a safe space in which to figure out what that means for him. They fall in love because they like each other, actually.
#which is why its stupid to be jealous of the Neve romance because they just like each other too#if rook expresses interest in him he wouldnt even GLANCE at anyone else i can promise you that#besides my own problems with neve/lucanis like i think that relationship is mostly beneficial to lucanis#and neve doesnt really get anything out of it#but you are not fixing the uwu sad pathetic assassin with wings#hes doing that you are just being nice#i think that makes it better#also try and convince me he is not just as flirty if not more so with rook than neve#try and convince me hou will fail#lucanis dellamorte#datv#dragon age#rookanis#rook x lucanis
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Johan with a gun kink is fine and all but Anna Liebert with a gun kink is just ✨ chef's kiss ✨.
She probably has no qualms over pulling the gun during your sex sessions. Might even fuck her darling with it (it's not loaded but her darling doesn't need to know that 💋). She probably licks the tip of her gun, before sliding it in her darling's mouth/pussy. This is probably when she's feeling extra sadistic and wants to see her darling in that fear and aroused state while anna just laughs and fucks her darling harder . She's a disgusting menace (affectionate)
anon, anon, wait. Anon wait WAIT WAITTTT WAITTTTTTT THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE. KEEP COOKING.
No because the gun basically becomes another way for anna to have a dick...................... making darling deep throat it like if it were her actual cock.
Speaking of cock, hear me out anon hear me out... But imagine if anna uses a freaking revolver on darling instead of a pistol here. That way, when anna slides it inside those gummy walls, she can goad darling for a little game of russian roulette.
Tw: gunplay, and slight talks of necro ( NOT REALLY. It's just anna egging you because whats a little gunplay without genuine fear of dying), and uh... Dollification, and also body mutilation mention.
Just the pure FEAR of you laying there, legs spread because she told you if you try to close your legs on her, she'll pull the trigger.
So you do your best to be obedient and listen and take in everything even though you're unable to feel the pleasure anymore through the sheer numbing shock and fear of you getting fucking SHOT down there.
and the cockiness (and slight insanity) comes in when anna, knowing the next might be blank, pulls the trigger while its still inside.
The full bodied sob that flinches throughout your body when you both hear the click of the gun while its so far deep in your pussy is enough to make annas brain go haywireeeee. The gun is so far deep in you, you can practically feel the cold metal nudge against your cervix.
All while you have this blonde maniac on top of you pulling the trigger and goading you if you might not be so lucky next time, and how she'll miss you dearly if that were the case. But dont worry baby, she wont find anyone else.
No, no you're it for her.
She'll find a way to still keep you all warm for her even after. She's got a way around dead bodies you know? And she'll keep yours extra nice and pretty, keep you in a nice glass storage like a doll. You want that? Wanna be her little babydoll all clean and pretty and hers to play with whenever she wants to play house? no?
Well then how about you be a good little girl, do the sign of the cross infront of her right now, yes right now- don't make her repeat herself, and say a little prayer that the next click won't be the one that'll put a hole in your womb.
#Nothing really happens promise. Anna loves your pussy and your womb (okay maybe also you. But you dont need to know that) to actually shoot.#And like?? Duh. Her breeding kink is too strong to do all that. Why would she kill/ruin the place that'll hold her babies?#Also anon hear me out but if reader and anna are in an established relationship. Reader slightly knows anna wouldnt actually do anything to#Actually kill you no matter unhinged anna may get.#So.... this in a noncon scenario where some random woman kidnaps you holds you hostage and does this with you.... Hell if this is anna and#Readers FIRST MEETING?#.......waow....... God.#Like god anon. Anon hear me out. But the pure fear of trying to be polite to this kidnapper. Calling anna m'am all throughout.#Like “p-please m'am i wanna go home.... I wont tell the police i promise. P-please let me go m'am.”#tw gunplay#tw body mutilation mention#tw dollification#And its not in the post but i dwelve into it in the tags but:#tw noncon#Goddamit anna. First post i make about you when im back and it already has 4 trigger warnings.#c.anna liebert#anna liebert x reader#yandere anna liebert x reader#yandere anna liebert
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I know that, as of right now, Lucy and Maximus are the canon relationship in the show (and I like them together)... But I can't help but think that the show has the perfect opportunity to use Dane and Maximus as commentary on the way queer people in the military were treated in that era (40s-50s) and what their lives were like, if they decide to make Dane and Maximus have at least a little thing together...
#Im hoping next season maybe Max will become a knight and Dane becomes his squire#Tho I do believe that this could still work if it was one sided maybe....#The more I watch the show the more I start to realize#I think they are trying to imply indirectly that at least Dane might have feelings for Max#With the way they always come to his aid#the way they take the blame for things so Max doesnt get in trouble#the way they injured themself so they wouldnt leave Max behind......#Its all coming together#I also think itd just be nice to have. a canon queer relationship#with two poc... one of them being canonically nonbinary#We never see canon relationships between a man and a masculine nonbinary character#Fallout#Fallout TV#Daximus
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I think Jmart would work really well in a Pride and Prejudice au bc I think Jon proposing to Martin while insulting him would be funny.
#a talking bunkat#jmart#tma#The question of who else close to him Jon would be insulting remains. Martin doesn't have a lot of family like Elizabeth#which could be interesting#Also I don't want to write a period piece so like. I would have to make office politics the equivalent of 17th century social hierarchy#but like in other ways it works so well. Tim as Mr. Bingley would be perfect. And Elias could be. Mr. Wickem I guess?#I guess actually that Elias and Jonah could be different characters...#Hm. Something to think about I guess.#Sasha would take Jane's role and then I'd have to come up with a reason for Jon to sabotage her and Tim's relationship...#WAIT UNLESS I CAN WORK NOTSASHA INTO THIS ALSO. And Jon's season 2 paranoia.#Hm. Much to think about.#Martin showing up to Jon's house (the Archives) uninvited on some kind of like. Tour? For a class? Martin goes back to school au?#And obviously Jon doesn't have a sister like Mr. Darcy so Martin meets... Daisy?? WAIT GEORGIE I'M AN IDIOT THEY EVEN HAVE THE SAME NAME-#Hm. Miss. Bingley who would she be... like of I was going purely based on actual relationship it would be Danny but I'm not doing that#I mean we have no evidence that Danny WOULDNT try and get with Jon for his money/social status but let's be fucking real here for a second.#Idk. Literally no one other then Martin is interested in Jon in any romantic way.#anyway none of this matters I should go to sleep.
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oh to have a patron god who unconditionally loves you to bits.....
//








#s-class heroine spoilers#a transmigrator's privilege#the perks of being an s class heroine#voice that shapes the world#the one whr ailette says 'please protect me by my side' always makes me tear up a little ngl#its the part whr voice takes a while to respond. and the fact that they say theyll be overcompensate. it gets to meeee#i love voice theyre almost as cute as hestio to me. which is saying a lot#and the self-assured 'thats my god' arg 🥺#i wuv them....#ailette is voice's favouritest little blorbo#except theyre treating ailette soooo well#like honestly this story is full of soooo many deux ex machinas#esp no thanks to voice spending divinity to save ailette / just make her life easier#its truly the transmigrator's privilege except she kind of only has this much privilege bc shes so likeable#and so good at maintaining social relationships that ALL the gods like her and try to find ways to help her#and bend and break rules for her#which i think makes the story more enjoyable bc it feels like SHE did all that. no other protag in her place couldve done all that#bc they wouldnt have been able to form such friendly relations with the tm gods#so it doesnt feel like a power fantasy even though it very much is a power fantasy. do i make sense#bc the power ailette has to bend the plot to her will isnt inherent in her... its granted to her by the tm gods#who are written to feel like they have their limits and therefore when they do bend the rules it feels like a lot#rather than just any old deux ex machina or flimsy plot point#like. this story is sooo orv-esque in that deux ex machinas keep happening but it doesnt rly bring you out of the story#bc the story requires those plot points to happen. bc the general narrative has so much more gg on in the background#and not simply just boss fights#do i make sense....
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Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.
#can anyone provide me guidance on this? ill bring it up with my therapist but i dont see her for another week#anyways im making myself cry late at night whats new lol ive been processing a lot this week#ok eta: and theyll always make you feel bad for this!!!!!#theyll be like ''ok so everyone has to bend to your commie regime to have a relationship with you 🙄''#like yeah actually you do#if you really loved me like you claim to you wouldnt be FUCKING VOTING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY#yes you do have to respect my rights if you want to have a relationship with me that is completely reasonable#whats ACTUALLY unreasonable is you asking me to ''just get over'' the fact that yall support people who think i shouldnt have human rights#right wingers will try to gaslight you into believing basic human decency is an unattainable and torturous request#then when you get upset theyll be like ''god the left is so emotional 🙄''#like yeah. i am. and you should be emotional too about human rights violations. the fact that youre not is pure evil.#anyways ill go cry myself to sleep like a faggot now#it just breaks my heart that i dont have any immediate family members who dont blatantly hate me for being queer/first nations
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oh chat..
#navigating losing my entire family amongst an accelerated curriculum which is Already baseline fast paced is so interesting /lh#in all seriousness i fear im slowly realizing the weight of how.. incredibly Unsustainable the relationship i have with my family is#esp given how ive been like literally.. slacking off on classes to the point of getting lower grades (mind u i think i ended off frshman yr#w a 3.96)#so..#trying to be kind and js move thru all moods with grace but chat it is Hard.#oh to deal with having no family while surrounded by people who do is so. like. disorienting#esp when ppl r like ‘yeah i wouldnt care if i was disowned’ but still say ily to their moms and cry over their parents like#chat i dont think ur being truly honest here.. and its not only unfair to you but it is to me ? bc like.. be so fr this is such a big. thing#looking into getting a depression diagnosis and Mayb meds tho so pray for me#currently struggling tho.. how does one communicate the loss of financial#familial#and cultural support#to their professors ??#blegh vent post bc im lowk losing my mind with how crazy everything is
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i am once again thinking about the missed opportunities of a garth and jackson mentor/mentee brother in arms relationship
#OUGH#dc stop trying to write garth out of the aquafam challenge intentionally whiffed#they hate him sooo much it makes them look stupid#alhgd#its genuinely insane to me how dc writers are incapable of showing garth caring about the aquafam and the titans at the same time#insane#but anyway#OUGHHHHHH#what couldve been...#its just INSANE how garth immediately gave this random teen he just met like five minutes ago his entire ass name#and then never talked to him ever again like i simply do not believe you#and while i still dont Like rebirth garth i feel like being put into more a mentor role Especially while he's Actively with the titans !!!!#would be really good for him!#and like dont get me wrong im perfectly fine with jackson being the next aquaman i actually prefer that#However its like dc doesnt realize that he can be close to and respect both of them#theyre giving him this Super Cute brother sister relationship with andy and its !! amazing !!#but i also cant help but Scream a little cause ohmygod why are we pretending garth never existed#why are we pretending that garth would ignore this teen boy with family issues who needs a safe place to learn and live !#why are we pretending that jackson wouldnt talk to him or ask him for advice or At Least bitch to him when arthurs being arthur !!#insane to me absolutely mental up the whazoo#all of their interactions are so awkward and feel so coworker and eeewwwwggg i hate it#im not saying that every New person needs to be immediately treated like family#but also come the fuck on its GARTH he's not icing out the new kid !!!!!!!!#swear to god garth has had more full blown conversations with tusky than he has with jackson#while jackson is def still underappreciated at dc theyve still managed to give him some really amazing well thought out#relationships with the rest of the aquafam#and its so weird to me that they seem so insistent on garth not being part of that#when he's consistently one of the most loyal members of the fam anyway#i just Know the two of them could be really close if dc would let it happen... they will not give it to me though..... the scoundrels......
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getting to knowww you getting to know all abouuuut you
#my art#calikiwi#its funny to imagine characters acting a bit strange/off their game in the early stage... i like it a lot#i imagine this would be very early on.. before any real relationship is established#after a particularly difficult time trying to find a quiet place to do her work [before getting her own office]#fossey eventually gives up and asks sniper if he can work in his camper and that he promises he really wont be a bother#in fact he'll be SO quiet youll forget hes there!! i swear!!#since they do really admire him but are fairly certain that hes Way out of their league + wouldnt like them much anyways#however sniper was very very passively intrigued by fossey on the grounds of Oh youre new and idk you that well#so he agrees! but unfortunately he looked at them a little too long and now well. you know#🗃
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Need somebody to bonk me on the head. Vent in the tags. They get off topic and its all not great so idk
#briefly started romanticizing cults#what i /want/ is community and support and a unshakable feeling of love#it just sort of turned into well if i joined a cult i could feel that way since its sort of baked into things and ive done the religious#trauma before so i could tottttaaallly handle that again so maybe i could join something like that and feel like im part of something??? idk#i know all the bad stuff and its not good and theres a lot of caviots and stuff and theres not one that would accommodate my beliefs which#is /why/ these cult things wouldnt work well for me#anyways im.unwell.#we've all been sort of getting flashbacks to our previous relationship and like. that put a lot of awful thoughts in my brain but i dont#think sharing would be a great idea. its all very bad and i wouldnt want to burden other people with this just. list. of awful things that#have happened to us but its hard#living inside that while trying to do everything#the mundane tasks arent helping really i guess. i dont know. its been a couple days of this
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Sae itoshi is slowly infecting my thoughts and it's shidous fault
#i think a lot about their relationship and honestly i probably wouldnt like him (sae) so much if not for that#like. shidou originally likes him bc of soccer but i imagine he also loves sae for how sae treats him#like he understands him and knows when to indulge him and when to redirect some of his worse impulses#he plays a little hard to get but doesnt push ryusei away completely#i think shidou could do a lot for sae in helping him rediscover a love and passion for life#anyway sae itoshi is me and ryuseis pretty little side piece we are trying to court but he needs therapy and time and a hobby. desperately.#and he doesnt know how to accept our romantic advances lol#romy can talk
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Random limlife Scott rant, GO!
I got this ask and decided that I’d give it my best shot but got so mad on my skim through some of the moments I remembered that I gave up.
#Okay im half joking#I got angry enough for me to decide that writing a post without careful consideration would probably lead to an inaccurate little ramble#I need to like. actually sit down and watch limlife and do a full overall analysis#because the context for how scott acts each season is so important. a skim just wont do#The reason I dont have notes on him to share with the class already is because when it was coming out I was pretending that—#Scott grew as a person after 3l and I wanted to believe that so badly I started making stuff up about memory erasure and limlife being—#dubiously real so that I could look the other way when scott started being weird about jimmy again#I was like yeah they barely remember it thats why scotts being uncomfortably weird about jimmy this season#not because scott doesnt think about jimmy like a person and just wants to hear him say words that make him feel better about his—#rough relationship history#not because the idea of jimmy gaining independence from him makes him feel insecure or anything#sighs. sorry im just saying things. again its been a while since ive watched it so I need to actually. Yknow. Watch it before making posts#Its just crazy how he treats it like proving a point more than actually caring#“I mightve given you the 30 minutes last week if youd said love you” he wouldnt have. he was already leaving when he said it#he’s literally just trying to get him to feel bad about not saying it#pretty sure he kills jimmy in the same episode he lets jimmy kill him. Like. He doesnt really care like that#He just likes to pretend that he does. He is going through the motions of caring#Its like he needs to believe jimmy still needs him. in like a possessive way. Its really weird man#I will say though since I see this a lot: I dont think him singling out tango in the 30 seconds scene was intentional#because if im being honest. I dont think he sees the ranchers as anything serious#He assumes tango was just putting up with jimmy bc he had to. He doesnt think tango actually cares about jimmy#in his mind no one actually cares about jimmy. because if scott struggled to care about jimmy and Scott is known for being an amazing ally#that must mean everyone else struggles to care about jimmy. If that makes sense#rant over I think. tldr limlife scott analysis postponed until I get my life together enough to be able to sit down and watch forthree hour#bree barks so fucking loud#asks
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sorry im a god gale truther btw i DO think he should get to usurp mystra and ascend to godhood and i do think that should be an absolutely awful thing to happen to him but also literally everyone else. sorry
#bg3#not main tagging this further bc its. mad man 1:30am rambles#but listen. mh.#ok so. heres the thing.#while i do think. their relationship was absolutely fucked. and yeah we can argue for grooming and or abuse.#i also dont QUITE enjoy how ppl make gale like. the poor poor totally blameless victim. like. mh#how to phrase this so it DOESNT sound victim blame-y. but like.#from how i interpret the things he told & what the game shows.#my mans REALLY struggles with No's and rejection. and i wouldn't just put that as a Mystra Aftermath Thing#he WAS forbidden from trying to ascend/was told by her she wouldnt make him an equal. and his response basically was.#'but let me prove i am worthy of this'#which yeah. plays into the fucked up self worth. ill get back to that.#plus the uh. touch the orb scene? he just. grabs your hand and pulls it towards him because he WANTS to show you this. Now.#any rejection within the relationship? I Should Blow Myself Up#he got that gifted kid energy of everything always came easily to him and yet it wasnt ever enough and the relationship w a literal goddess.#certainly didnt help that.#so hes constantly reaching for more. and thats a fault of his because he will do that even if told not to because#at the same time he thinks of himself as smart enough to actually Get to that More.#and yknow w the orb? he literally. got So Badly Burned. is it deterring him? nnnnnnot really.#and i think. godhood would. idk i think he could do it. and i think it still wouldn't be enough.#and having an all powerful deity who ALSO a) still never is satisfied with his amount of power and control and b) thinks he know better than#anyone and could do better than anyone#sounds like its gonna fucking suck#anyways im rotating this all in my brain + ofc the delicious bloodweave combo of ascended astarion + new god gale bc thats just. ough#the mess. of this combo.
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