#i’ve never been more grateful for first lap contact

[midnight-chevy]

Abu Dhabi GP weekend overview :)

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 48: Wild Times

Summary: Things begin changing between you and your pack as someone says goodbye.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 6,518 words

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, explicit sexual content, smut, anal sex, oral sex, handjobs, cockwarming, teasing, lots of kissing, language, slight dom/sub dynamics, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, alternate universe, emotions, slight angst

A/N: I wrote this in like two days so forgive me if it sucks

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“How do you feel?”

“Good. I feel really good.” You say honestly.

“Good. You’ve come a long way and I’m very proud of you for the progress you’ve made.” Dr. Keller says. The two of you are sitting out on the back porch. It’s a nice day, the sun out after a few days of rain and clouds.

“Why do I feel like you’re about to tell me something.” You say, staring at her. She almost looks nervous, the professional facade cracking just a little bit. Just enough that you can tell something is going on.

“I do have something I need to tell you.” She says after a moment. “You’ve come a long way, you’ve overcome hurdles and grown so much in the time that I’ve known you. I’m so very proud of you, but...I’m not sure how much more I can do for you now.”

You expected this was coming. With your life turning around as it has recently, with the growth between you and your pack and your healing after the ordeal, you knew there would come a time when Dr. Keller would leave. There’s no point to her staying here with you, now that Shepherd is gone and things have calmed down.

“Things are going to change here soon,” she continues. “And I’m not sure how much more you’re going to need me for. You’re doing so well and your pack has improved so much over these last few weeks. I’m so very proud of all of you and the work you’ve put in. I think you’re ready to graduate from needing an omega specialist.”

You try to fight the tears gathering in your eyes. You don’t want her to go. As much as you understand and you know, you don’t feel like letting her go yet. You’d cling to her forever if you could, but you know that’s all the more reason for her to go now. She’s done more than she should have, more than she needed to and no doubt she’s feeling that need to move on as well. It makes your stomach ache, but at the same time, you understand.

“I don’t feel like I am,” you say honestly. “But at the same time I know it’s not fair to keep you here. You’ve done so much for us, for me, and...and I want you to know that I’m forever grateful for that.”

“I know.” She says, giving you a smile. Despite it there’s a sadness in her eyes. She has to be torn about this too. The two of you have bonded so much in the year that you’ve been seeing her. It hurts breaking that bond, but at the same time, it’s a necessity. “I’ll always be here for you, but I have to move on to other things.”

“Where are you going to go?” You ask, trying not to cry. You’ve never been good at goodbyes. It’s probably the trauma.

“I’ve accepted a position in Exeter at a clinic.” She says.

“Exeter as in close to Ashley?” You give her a knowing look.

That bashful look crosses her face again, and for the first time she breaks eye contact, looking down at her lap.

“I’m happy for you,” you continue. “I really am. Technically if the two of you get together you’ll be extended family.”

She huffs out a laugh, shaking her head. “You’re not wrong.” She looks back up at you, smiling softly. “You’re taking this better than I expected.”

“I knew it was coming, in a way.” You say. “It would happen eventually. Things really are changing and now that Shepherd’s gone...there’s nothing holding us here. We’ll have to return to the real world eventually. As much as I’d like to be selfish, I know there’s other omegas out there that deserve to have your help.”

She reaches out, taking your hand and squeezing it softly. “You’ve always been so sweet, so caring. I’m honored I got to serve as your omega specialist. I am so very proud of you and I always will be.” She squeezes your hand harder. “You have my number. You need anything you call me, okay?”

You nod, tears blurring your vision despite your fight to hold them back. “Yeah. I will.”

“Good.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes, tears welling in hers as well.

You reach over, pulling her into a hug. It probably breaks some sort of doctor/patient boundary, but after everything the two of you have been through, you’re willing to break past that realm of professionalism.

You breathe in her comforting scent one last time, burying it in your memories. You’ll always remember her and what she did for you, the ways she helped you overcome the lies drilled into your head, how she helped you grow into your own person. She kept you alive, helped you heal from a traumatic event. She kept you sane, helped you realize just how powerful you truly are and that you shouldn’t be afraid of your pack and taking charge.

You’ll be forever grateful for having her in your life.

“Take care of each other.” Dr. Keller says, standing next to the car. “I don’t want to get any calls with bad news.”

“We’ll do our best.” John says, his arm around your waist.

She looks over your pack before nodding. “Some part of me doesn’t want to believe you, but a bigger part of me knows you’re telling the truth.”

“Thank you for everything you’ve done.” John says, his grip around you tight. “We are forever in your debt.”

Dr. Keller smiles, it’s a sad smile, but it’s a smile nonetheless. “I was just doing my job.”

“You did more than that.” Kyle says. “Far more.”

Dr. Keller stands there for a moment before nodding. “I suppose so. I wouldn’t take any of it back, though.” She looks over you once more, her eyes pausing in you for a long moment.

“We’ll take good care of her.” John says, his arm sliding from your waist to wrap around your shoulder. “If not, we give you full rights to come back and take her from us.”

Dr. Keller gives him a pointed look. “I’ll hold you to that.” She opens the car door, letting out a heavy breath. “You have my number. Don’t hesitate to call. Good luck to you and whatever is coming next.”

“Best of luck to you as well.” John nods.

“Say hi to Ashley for me.” Kyle grins.

Dr. Keller rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know.” She gives you one last smile. “Take care. I’ll be here if you need me.”

You watch as she gets into the car, John’s grip around you tightening just a little. Tears start to blur your eyes as you watch the car disappear down the road until it’s out of sight. Two goodbyes in such a short amount of time has you feeling devastated, but at the same time, you know it’s for the best. It’s not like it’s forever. You’ll likely see both Dr. Keller and your family again in the future.

Yet you can’t deny the ache in your chest at watching them go.

John kisses the top of your head, his hands squeezing your arms. “You alright?” He murmurs against your hair.

You stand there for a moment, staring down the road before you nod. “Yeah. I will be.”

“How are you holding up?”

“Fine.” You shrug, marking your place in your book.

“It’s a big change.”

“I knew it was coming.” You shrug again, setting your book on your nightstand.

Kyle sinks down onto your bed, laying himself down against your pillows. “It’s okay to not be okay about this.”

You let out a sigh. “I mean, it’s sad that she left, but at the same time I’m happy she’s getting to go do what she wants now and is getting to help other omegas that need it. They’ll be lucky to have her. Ashley is lucky to have her.”

“They are a good couple.” Kyle says, reaching for your hand.

“Big power couple vibes.” You say, lacing your fingers with his. “I’m glad Ashley is part of the family. Your sister is an absolute angel.”

Kyle snorts. “You should have seen her growing up.”

“Everyone was a terror growing up.” You say, letting him pull you closer.

“Imagine Johnny as a kid.”

You both make a face, imagining the high-strung beta as a pup.

“No thanks.” You say, resting your head against his chest.

“You sure you’re alright?” He asks, wrapping an arm around you.

“Yeah. I will be.” You say. “It’ll take some getting used to, not having a personal therapist in the house.”

“We can get you a new one.” He says, patting your back.

“I think I’ll be okay.” You reach up, cupping his cheek. “You’re so sweet, caring about me like this.”

“Well, Christine has been a big part of your life for the last year.” He shrugs. “Just making sure you’re gonna be okay once she’s gone.”

“I’ll be fine. Just get ready to hear about my problems a lot more than you have been.” You grin.

“Oh good.” He playfully rolls his eyes.

“Rude.” You giggle, squeezing his side to tickle him.

“Hey!” He shouts, wiggling to try and get away from your hands.

Despite his size advantage you pull up a hazy memory of your training with Simon, wrapping a leg around his waist to force him over onto his back. You wind up sitting on top of him, your fingers dragging along his stomach to continue tickling him. He continues to laugh, playfully batting at your hands.

You wrap your fingers around his wrists, pinning them to the bed by his head. You lean over him, staring down at him as you pin him to the bed. He could easily get out of this, use his weight against you to force you up but he doesn’t, instead laying there limp under you.

“I quite like this angle.” He says, his eyes hooded as he stares up at you.

You smirk, leaning closer to him. “I’m sure you do.”

His arms flex under your hands, a reminder that he could easily flip the script and put you in this position. He doesn’t though, almost too happy to be pinned to the bed under you.

You lean down even further, your breath mingling with his. He tilts his head up, trying to kiss you but you hold back, not letting him have the satisfaction. His bottom lip puckers in a pout as you deny him what he wants.

“Been a long time.” He murmurs, pushing against your hands.

“For you maybe.” You say, but you can’t deny the warmth starting to pool in your stomach. It hasn’t been long for you, but it’s been a long while since you’ve been with the other members of your pack. You miss them. You miss all of them.

“Don’t mean to interrupt.”

Your head snaps to the side, looking back towards the door at the new voice. Simon stands there, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. His brows are raised, eyes trailing over you and Kyle.

He stays there for a moment before pushing off the frame, his steps slow as he approaches the bed. Neither you nor Kyle move, frozen there as the alpha stalks towards you. He looks like a hungry animal that’s caught its prey right where he wants it.

His hand is warm as it drags down your back, fingers pausing just above your tailbone. His other hand cups Kyle’s chin, fingers holding his jaw. “Pretty in’t he?” Simon mumbles, brushing his thumb across Kyle’s lips before pressing it between them.

Kyle parts his lips, taking Simon’s thumb into his mouth. You watch as he sucks on the appendage, still pinning him down on the bed. Simon’s hand slips beneath your pants, cupping your ass over your underwear as he leans in closer to you.

“What were you planning?” He murmurs into your ear, lips brushing the delicate skin. “A quickie before lunch? Like a couple of naughty pups?”

“Maybe.” You say, pushing back against his hand.

“Maybe?” He smirks. “Should have locked the door then.”

His teeth sink into your earlobe gently, and you can’t stop the shiver that runs down your spine. He pulls his thumb from Kyle’s mouth, trailing it down over his chin and his throat. His other hand sinks lower, fingers pressing between your legs.

“She likes this, you know?” He says to Kyle, feeling the dampness in your underwear. “Pretending to be dominant.” His hand closes around Kyle’s throat, fingers flexing just a little. “Then again, so do you.”

He pulls Kyle up to sit, forcing you to drop back into his lap. He’s hard, pressing between your thighs as you’re pushed up against his chest. Simon’s hand slips around to the back of Kyle’s neck, holding him in place.

“Just a couple of pretty pups playing pretend.” Simon says, glancing between you before leaning in to Kyle.

Your lips part as they kiss, Simon’s tongue sliding into Kyle’s mouth. Kyle moans, the sound vibrating through you. It’s a beautiful sight, watching them kiss. You hadn’t put much thought into them together before, even though you know it has happened in the past. They always seem to gravitate towards their respective mates naturally. The ideas floating around in your head have you gushing into your panties.

You let out a little whine of your own, hips pressing down against Simon’s fingers still resting between your legs. You’re getting wetter and wetter as you watch them kiss, Simon devouring Kyle’s mouth, all tongue and teeth as he teases the beta.

The sight has you clenching your thighs around Kyle’s hips, more slick gushing into your panties and wetting Simon’s fingers.

Simon hums against Kyle’s lips, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip before pulling back just slightly. “I think she likes it.”

Kyle groans, pushing his hips up against you. Simon presses his hand down, grinding it against the bulge in Kyle’s pants.

“I think you both like it.” Simon pushes Kyle’s head closer to yours and you get the memo, closing the distance to kiss him.

Simon lets out a breath as he watches the two of you kiss, his fingers stroking you through your panties. His scent is strong in the air, mixing with the scent of arousal wafting off of you and Kyle.

“Look at you.” he murmurs. “The two prettiest members of the pack together. What a sight.”

Kyle’s tongue flicks against your own, mimicking what you know he’s capable of doing to your pussy. You can’t stop the moan that sneaks out, Kyle swallowing the sound as he kisses you.

Simon hums before pulling his hand from your pants, wrapping that arm around your waist before lifting you off of Kyle. You let out a loud whine in protest as you’re pulled apart, struggling against him but he’s stronger than you. Kyle catches himself before he drops backwards as Simon lets him go, lifting you to your feet as he rises to his.

“Time for lunch.” He says, still holding you as you struggle against him.

“No fair!” You whine, going dead weight against him to try and slip out of his hold.

He chuckles, still holding you up easily. “Be a good girl and I’ll let you sit on his face later.”

You pause, thinking it over for a moment before pushing yourself up to stand straight. “Okay.” You slip out of his grasp, heading for the door and out into the living room.

Both John and Johnny look up as you come out of the room, no doubt the scent of your arousal strong in the air. There’s probably a cocktail of scents wafting through the door: yours, Kyle’s, and Simon’s.

Johnny sets down the bag of chips in his hand before bee-lining to you, nearly colliding with your body as he frantically presses his face into your neck.

“Fuckin’ Christ.” He groans, his hands dropping to hold your ass as he keeps you pressed against his chest.

Your body flushes as his tongue laves over your skin, licking up every drop of scent he can from your gland. A quiet sound leaves your lips as he sinks his teeth into your skin, almost like he’s trying to drink the scent of your arousal directly.

It’s almost too much after the stimulation you just received from Simon and Kyle. You could cum in your pants just like this, with Johnny’s hands gripping your ass, his boner poking you in the hip. He’ll probably cum in his pants if he keeps this up.

Johnny lets out a groan as a hand wraps around the back of his neck, pulling him away from you. You stumble as he tries to pull you, but his hands release your ass before you can fall. John holds him back, leaning over his shoulder as he scruffs the beta.

“None of that.” He chastises Johnny. “We have lunch to eat.”

“Fuck sandwiches,” Johnny groans. “Lay her out on tha table. Let me feast.”

“We spent all this time making a nice lunch and we’re going to eat it.” John says, releasing Johnny. “Now take a seat.” He pushes Johnny towards the table with a slap to his ass.

Johnny grumbles but acquiesces, making his way to his seat at the table.

John steps up to you, staring down at you intensely. Despite his insistence on the moment ending, you glimpsed the small bulge in his pants. You’re tempted to touch it, drag your hand across the denim to tease him, but you’re caught in his gaze. His hand lifts to your face, thumb tracing over your lips. You part them slightly, but he pulls away, crossing his arms as he stares down at you.

“Can you behave?” He asks.

No. You wouldn’t mind being spread out on the table for them to enjoy. But you know that’s not the answer he’s looking for. “Yes.” You nod.

“Good.” He turns you towards the table, sending you to your seat with a pat on the ass.

He turns to Simon and Kyle, both of them moving to their seats wordlessly.

Lunch is filled with a tense silence. You’re glad Dr. Keller has left with the way all five of your scents are thick in the air. It’s heavy with arousal, no doubt all four men sporting hard-ons under the table. The thought of sliding under there to suck them off one by one is tempting, but you’ll get in trouble. Not that punishment wouldn’t be worth it, but you’ll be good today.

At least for now.

Simon makes good on his promise.

Kyle’s lips are wrapped around your clit, suckling on the sensitive bud as you grind down against his face, hands braced on his chest. Simon has him nearly folded in half, tongue wrapped around yours as he snaps his hips against Kyle’s ass.

“Fucking hell.” Simon groans, sinking his teeth into your bottom lip as he thrusts hard into Kyle. Kyle moans against your clit, making your legs squeeze tighter around his head. “Make her cum and I’ll let you.” Simon grunts, his hand wrapped around the base of Kyle’s cock.

Kyle swirls his tongue around your clit before taking it between his lips again, sucking it hard. You’re already close from how long you’ve been here, perched over his face. He’s close too, hard and almost pulsing in Simon’s hand. Simon hasn’t let up once, fucking into him hard and fast. There’s sweat beaded across all of your bodies, sliding down your faces, dripping onto skin.

God it’s been so long.

“C’mon.” Simon grunts, holding himself back as well.

“Fuck,” You whine, legs shaking around Kyle’s head as he sucks hard on your clit, nipping at the sensitive bud with his teeth. You grind down against his mouth, his tongue swirling around your clit before he sucks on it one last time.

You cum, gushing all over his face with a cry.

Kyle moans against your pussy, licking up every drop of your juices as your nails sink into his chest.

“Good boy.” Simon praises, finally releasing Kyle’s cock. He lifts Kyle’s hips, changing the angle at which he’s thrusting into the beta. “Cum for me.”

Kyle’s body trembles, his hands tightening around your thighs as he gets closer and closer to the edge. You lean over, reaching down to grip his cock in your hand. He groans louder, twitching in your hand as you pump his cock in time with Simon’s thrusts.

It doesn’t take him long to cum, spurting against your hand and his stomach as he moans so beautifully. Simon curses, hands tightening around Kyle’s hips before he cums as well, spilling into Kyle’s ass.

You gather his cum on your fingers, sitting up on Kyle’s chest before bringing your fingers to your lips. You hold eye contact with Simon as you take them into your mouth, cleaning Kyle’s cum off your skin. Simon’s eyes are dark as he watches you, following the path of your tongue as it licks the viscous liquid off your hand.

His hand sinks into your hair, pulling you close to his mouth before kissing you. His tongue pushes into your mouth, licking at the remnants of Kyle’s cum on your tongue. You moan into his mouth, pressing closer to him. He kisses you for a moment before pulling away, pushing you over to the side.

You roll unceremoniously to the side, watching Simon lean over Kyle. His face is still shiny with your juices, Simon’s tongue darting out to lick a stripe from his chin to his lips. Your lips part as you watch Simon clean your slick off of Kyle’s face, Kyle panting into the kisses. Warmth starts to pool in your stomach again as you watch them, lips parting slightly. They make such a pretty couple, Simon’s rough hands and Kyle’s malleable nature.

“Think she’s feeling left out.” Simon murmurs against Kyle’s lips.

Kyle turns his head, Simon kissing down his throat. He reaches out, wrapping an arm around you before pulling you closer. You wind up snuggled against his side, immediately leaning in for a kiss. Kyle kisses you, a hint of your own taste still on his tongue, along with a hint of Simon. It’s an intoxicating cocktail, almost as intoxicating as the scents in the air.

Oh god how you’ve missed this.

Simon watches the two of you for a moment before getting up, Kyle moaning as he slips out of his ass. Kyle’s arms wrap around you, pulling you tight against his chest as he continues to kiss you.

Simon returns with a rag, wiping down Kyle and between your legs before disappearing back into the bathroom for a moment. Kyle rolls to his side, pulling away from your lips as he slips an arm beneath your head. He stares at you, his eyes roving over your face for a moment.

“Hi.” He breathes, a small smile pulling at his lips.

You can’t help but grin back. “Hi. Feeling better now?”

He hums, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “Much better. Missed you so much.”

“Me or my pussy?” You smirk.

Kyle pretends to think for a moment. “Both. Definitely both.”

“I’ll try not to keep you waiting so long next time.” You say, resting your head against his bicep.

“Blue-balled us all.” Simon says, coming around the other side of the bed. He lays down behind you, tossing the sheet over your bodies.

“Sorry,” You hum, getting comfortable between them.

“Working backwards this time.” Kyle says, draping his arm across you to reach Simon. “Poor John has to be last.”

“He’ll be fine.” Simon grunts. “Johnny’s probably got his dick down his throat right now.”

You let out a noise at the mental image that flashes through your head. Johnny on his knees, that needy look in his eyes, face flushed as his mouth spreads wide around John’s cock.

Simon chuckles darkly, his hand resting on your hip at your shift in scent. “Like that, do you?”

“Can’t help it.” You murmur, rubbing your legs together. “He’s just so...fun to play with.”

“He’s our favorite toy.” Simon says.

A thought crosses your mind. Johnny on his knees in front of the three of them, taking turns as he goes down the line.

You lick your lips. “Have you ever…”

“Course.” Simon grunts. “Lots of times.”

“Oh.” You blink, staring at Kyle’s chest as you think it over. Of course they’ve all been together at the same time. Why wouldn’t they? “Would...would you ever...with me?”

Kyle hums. “If you wanted to. It’s a lot all at once though.”

“Think I can’t handle it?” You say, your omega starting to stir, though you’re not sure if it’s the idea of being surrounded by them or the insinuation against your strength and stamina.

Kyle shrugs. “I don’t know. Do you think you could?”

Could you? You’ve never really thought about it that hard before. Sure the fantasy has been there, but the reality? The admin behind making it work…

“Don’t know.” You say, curling in on yourself. “Never been in an orgy before.”

“You’d never had sex before you joined our pack.” Simon reminds you.

“Now look at me.” You say, rolling onto your back, tits out above the blanket. “You’ve properly corrupted me.”

Simon growls low in his chest, his hand sneaking under the blanket to rest right below your breasts. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?” you tease. “You destroyed my innocence? Corrupted me into a needy little omega desperate for alpha cock?”

You can feel his cock start to stir again against your hip as his hand slides up, fingers closing around your nipple and tugging.

“Careful,” he warns you. “You’re getting yourself all worked up again.”

You sink your teeth into your lip, fluttering your eyelashes at him. “What are you going to do about it?”

He grunts, laying there for a moment before he slips his hand under your shoulder, turning you over onto your side against Kyle’s chest. “Stay.” He commands before moving behind you, the bed dipping as he rolls.

Kyle watches him over the top of your head, and you hear the snap of a lid. A few seconds pass before Simon rolls back over, shoving the blanket down before two wet fingers prod at your pussy. Kyle lifts your leg up as Simon slips them into you, pumping them a couple times to lube your walls before pulling his hand free. You lay there as he saddles up right against your back, the head of his cock pressing against your hole.

You gasp as he pushes in, the lube aiding as he presses his hips until they’re flush with your ass. He stills there, his cock seated inside your pussy.

“Keep that in there all night and I’ll put your knees up by your ears tomorrow.” He grunts before settling behind you.

“Well how am I supposed to sleep now?” You whine, clenching around his cock.

“Figure it out.” He murmurs, his breath fanning the top of your head.

“Fuckin’ still at it.”

“They’re young.”

“Christ almighty.” Johnny groans, shifting in his seat. “Feel sorry for the poor hen.”

“Why?” John snorts. “Sounds like she’s enjoying herself quite a bit.”

A loud, keening moan sounds through the wall, paired with a rough slam of the headboard.

“Gonnae put a hole in the wall.” Johnny grumbles, sipping his coffee.

“We can fix that easily.” John says, taking a bite of his toast. “Surprised Simon didn’t make several during her heat.”

Johnny huffs. “Thought he did a few times.”

Another long, drawn out moan sounds, an echoing deeper one following.

“There she goes.” John says, the house falling silent.

“Think it’s over?” Johnny asks.

John nods. “Most likely. I doubt they’d push it much further so early.”

“For our sakes I hope yer right.” Johnny grumbles.

A few moments later the door opens, a proud looking Kyle making his way out of the room. The scent of musk, sweat, and sex follows him reaching their noses quickly. Johnny lets out a quiet sound, nearly a whine at the rich scent.

“Screamin’ fuckin’ Jesus.” Johnny groans. “Did ye kill her?”

“She’s fine. Be out as soon as her legs stop shaking.” Kyle smirks.

Johnny spouts out a curse none of them quite understand as Kyle makes his way to the kettle for some tea.

“What’s for breakfast?” Simon asks, appearing through the half open door to your room. He’s bare chested and looking quite proud of himself.

“Oh yeah, ye come out here peacockin’ expecting a Full English laid out?” Johnny snaps.

Simon smirks. “What, pouting because you didn’t get to join in?”

“Woulda been easier if I didnae have tae listen to it!” Johnny fumes.

“You could have stayed upstairs.” Simon smirks, approaching his fired up beta. “I think you’re just upset you got left out.” Simon cards his fingers through Johnny’s hair. It’s getting long, his fingers sinking into it easily. He grips it, tilting Johnny’s head back slightly so they’re looking each other in the eye. “Be a good boy and maybe next time I’ll let you in.”

Johnny nearly turns to goo in his seat, deflating instantly. He can’t be mad, not with Simon’s dominant side coming out. He can only imagine what he did to you in such a state. No wonder you have yet to be seen.

“Every man for himself this morning for breakfast.” John says, breaking the tense energy of the moment. As much as he’d enjoy watching Johnny get bent over the table, Simon has likely exerted himself enough for the time being. The last thing they need is an injury.

Simon smirks before releasing Johnny, the Scot sinking down into his chair as soon as he’s free. Kyle makes his way to the table, sitting down next to John gingerly.

“Not ye too.” Johnny says, staring at Kyle with hooded eyes.

Kyle smirks, saying nothing as he takes a sip of his tea.

Simon starts on some eggs, the smell starting to waft through the house.

The door creaks quietly as it opens, all of their gazes drawn across the room. You appear out of the darkness, hair mussed, bruises on your neck visible thanks to the loose fitting shirt you’ve donned (likely Simon’s), walking with a noticeable limp.

“Morning sweetheart.” John says, taking a sip of his tea as he watches you slowly make your way to the table. “Have a good night?”

“Mhm.” You hum, lowering yourself slowly into a chair. “Great night.”

“Sounded like it.” Johnny mumbles.

“Did you have a good night?” You ask, voice airy.

“We did.” John says, hiding a smirk behind his mug.

“Good.” You smile, leaning your head on your arm.

“What kind of magic did ye work Simon?” Johnny asks, staring at your blissed out face.

“Just gave her what she wanted.” Simon shrugs, plating the eggs. He carries two plates over to the table, setting one in front of you. “Folded her in half and fucked her till she cried.”

Johnny curses, shifting in his seat again as Simon takes his seat next to him.

“It was quite the sight.” Kyle grins.

“I bet.” John says.

“You can fuck me next if you’d like.” You say, spooning some eggs into your mouth.

He smiles. “You’re sweet to offer, but I think you need a break for a bit.”

“Wha’ about me?” Johnny whines.

You turn your gaze to him. “I’d rather watch you get dicked down.”

“Oh shit.” Kyle breathes, looking between you and his fellow beta.

Johnny lets out a moan at your words, his body shuddering.

“Did you just cum in your pants?” Simon asks, looking down at his beta.

“No…” Johnny flushes, looking bashful.

“’S alright. Happens to the best of us.” You say, taking another bite of your eggs nonchalantly, like you didn’t just make a grown man cum untouched in his pants like a teenager.

“Fucking hell what’s gotten into us?” Kyle asks, looking around the table.

“It’s been far too long since we’ve gotten a chance to be so free with each other.” John says. “Between what happened and then for Christine’s sake, we held ourselves back. Now we have the space and the desire to do as we wish.”

“Be nice while it lasts.” You say, mumbling around your eggs.

“What do you mean?” Kyle asks.

You shrug, eyes down on your plate. “Have to go back eventually, right?”

The table falls silent at the sudden drop in energy, all of them sharing looks but none of them brave enough to say anything.

“I still don’t get it.”

“It’s not that hard once you get the hang of it.”

“But you have to get the hang of it first.” You say, staring hard at the chess board.

“You’ll get it eventually.” Simon says, moving his piece.

“You just won again, didn’t you?” You groan.

“I did.”

You shake your head. “It’s not fair. I still don’t know what I’m doing. Can we go back to playing checkers?”

“You lost at that too.”

“But at least I know how to play.” You say.

“Still beating you?” John asks appearing in front of the fireplace.

“Yes.” You pout.

“We’ll find a game your good at.” Kyle says. “Then we’ll let you beat us.”

“Hey!” You say, lifting yourself off the floor to sit on the couch. “That’s not fair!”

“Better than you losing all the time.” Kyle says, sitting down across from you.

Johnny takes the seat next to you as Simon lifts himself onto the couch next to Kyle. John stands before you, and you can already tell you’re in a pack meeting just from the look on his face. He’s wearing that mask again, the mask of the Captain, the Head Alpha, the Leader.

“I’ve called you all here for a very important announcement.” He says, holding a folder in his hands. You hadn’t noticed it before.

The four of you sit there quietly, waiting with bated breath for what he’s going to say next.

“Our time here is ending.” John continues. “Now that the winter season has passed, and the threat against us has been eliminated, we have to move on to what comes next. I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few weeks thinking about what’s going to happen next, about what direction our lives are going to go. The easiest option is of course going back to the way things were before, going back to the military, living out our lives as we always planned.”

His gaze drops to you. You’re avoiding looking at him, instead focused hard on the checkers box still on the coffee table. You’re waiting for the shoe to drop, for him to say that is what you’re going back to. You’ll be a military pack, you’ll be a military wife, watching them go and waiting for them to go home. Maybe he’ll be nice and let you live off base, or at least in better housing outside of the barracks. Maybe he’ll bring you back here every so often so you can enjoy the sea.

“But…”

That word piques your interest. ‘But’ means something is following, usually something contradictory. Something opposite of what was just said. Your mother used to say “if you follow a statement with the word ‘but’, you don’t mean what you said at all.” You try not to have hope. You try not to think too hard on that ‘but.’

“That’s not entirely fair to all of us.” He continues, still looking at you. “I made a promise that things would change, and I’ve broken that promise over and over again. So I’ve taken it upon myself to make sure things do change.” He takes a step closer to you.

The folder appears in your line of sight. He’s holding it out to you. Your hand shakes as you lift it, closing your fingers around the thick paper. He relinquishes his hold on it, dropping his hand as soon as you have a grip on it. He takes a step back, all of them watching you as you hold the folder.

The plastic clip catches on your finger but you ignore it as you flip them open, reaching in to grab the stack of papers. It’s a thick stack, the papers shaking just slightly as you free them.

You take a deep breath, steadying yourself as you flip them over so you can read them. Your eyes trail over the top, a mix of letters and numbers that mean something unknown to you. It’s a form of some sort, holding John’s information. More information than you’ve ever seen about your alpha.

Your brow furrows as you stare at it. “I don’t know what this is.”

John shifts on his feet. “Consider it a letter of resignation, of sorts.”

Your eyes snap up to him at those words. You know what that means. Your eyes dart between him and the stack of papers, back and forth in disbelief. Letter of resignation?

���Cap, you’re-” Kyle starts but he can’t finish before you cut him off.

“You’re retiring?” Your voice displays just as much disbelief as you’re feeling.

Please don’t let it be a joke. Please don’t let it be a lie.

John nods. “Yes.” He shifts on his feet again. He’s nervous, something you never thought you’d see. “I always thought I’d spend my entire life in the service, until I was forced to retire or I died in the field. Then things changed. This pack was formed, we were given the gift of an omega.” He turns to you again. “I know how much living this life has drained you. These last few months we’ve spent here have proven that to me. You don’t deserve to be forced to wait on us, live the life you don’t want in favor of us living the life we do. You deserve to have comfort and security in knowing your alpha will always be here for you.”

Tears gather in your eyes as you continue to stare at the paperwork. Letter of resignation. He’s really doing it. He’s really going to retire. It’s not some trick, some lie, some sort of dream. He’s going to put aside what he wants in favor of what you want. For the first time you’re going to get a chance to live out a life outside the military.

You’re getting what you want.

“John…” You breathe, fighting back a sob.

He kneels down in front of you, cupping your face with his hand. “You deserve to live a happy life. I’m going to be the one to give that to you.”

You lean into his touch, pressing your nose into his wrist. Petrichor, rich earth, the forest.

The scent of your alpha, the scent of home.

NEXT ->

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[cursedyuri]

𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 | 𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

description: you’ve been getting closer to ellie lately and, unbeknownst to you, your blossoming crush is entirely reciprocated. cue your first smoke sesh together… and a little something more, too. [modern au, ellie and reader are both over 18]

warnings: weed use, oral sex, fingering. this fic is 18+, minors do not interact.

author’s note: my first ellie fic and my first fic on this blog! pls be nice :) let me know what you think <3

The first few times you hung out with Ellie, she’d offered you a joint. It’s no secret that Ellie’s the town’s top dealer, a welcome sight at rowdy house parties, her backpack stuffed with ziplock bags of the best bud around. You’d tried weed before, had taken a puff or two from poorly-rolled blunts here and there, but you’d never particularly enjoyed it. Mostly, you’d just coughed up a lung and felt nothing but a vague lightheadedness. So when Ellie rolled up a joint the first time you’d come over to her place, offering you a drag after she’d sparked up, you’d politely declined.

Ellie had arched a brow. “You mind if I smoke? Shit - I can put it out.”

Before you’d had the chance to respond, she was already reaching for the ashtray on her nightstand, ceramic and painted to resemble an eight-ball.

“No, no, it’s fine,” you interjected, reaching out and touching her wrist almost involuntarily. You pushed down the flurry of butterflies that erupted in your stomach at the contact. God, you had to be touch-starved or something. Since when did touching someone’s arm make your heart skip a beat?

Ellie looked at you with a guarded kind of suspicion, like she didn’t believe that you were fine with her smoking. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” you said, lips curling into an encouraging smile. “I don’t mind weed, it just doesn’t do anything for me.”

“Huh.” Ellie nodded. She lifted the joint to her lips again and you glanced away, chest tightening from the sight of her lips pursing.

“If you ever wanna try again,” she paused to exhale a plume of smoke, intentionally avoiding your direction, “let me know. Not to, like, toot my own horn or anything, but I’ve never had someone try my weed and not like it.”

You let out an easy laugh. “Okay, we’ll have to see about that.”

Ellie was smiling at you, those green eyes twinkling like so many stars. “No pressure.”

That was months ago, when the summer heat still blazed from sunrise to sunset. It’s mid-winter now, the chill nipping at your cheeks and the end of your nose. To your agony, it hasn’t gotten any easier to breathe when you touch Ellie - when she greets you with a hug and a smile at her front door, you feel like you’re paralyzed with want. And Ellie’s probably none the wiser, of course. You wonder if she’s ever noticed the way your breath hitches when she stretches out on the couch beside you, leaning her head on your shoulder while some tacky eighties film lights up the television screen. You figure she’s oblivious - she’s just being friendly. She probably doesn’t even know you like girls, anyway. Plus, she doesn’t shy away from talking about the girls she’s been with before. You’ve spent more than a few nights seething with jealousy as she recounted her latest hookup, schooling your expression into one of disinterest or even mild enthusiasm.

It’s been a while since she’s talked like that, luckily. You’re grateful you don’t have to feign excitement about Ellie’s latest conquests anymore.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Ellie interrupts your internal monologue, hands still working at the joint in her lap. She’s got a pile of ground-up weed on a rolling tray, sprinkling it into the perfectly-rolled cone like it’s muscle memory. It probably is.

“Nothing,” you blurt, cheeks warming. “Sorry, just zoned out for a second.”

“Oh, bullshit,” Ellie quips, rolling her eyes despite the smile playing at her lips. “What, you can’t tell me? I thought we were friends, cherry.”

You flush anew at the nickname. She’d picked it out for you after you’d scarfed down an entire jar of maraschino cherries one night, after Ellie had bought them for ice cream sundaes. You’d never live that down… But you’re not sure you want to, because every time the nickname leaves Ellie’s lips, you feel like you’re glowing bright red with admiration.

“We are friends!” You nudge Ellie’s shoulder with yours, rolling your eyes with that same playfulness she’d expressed. “Sorry, it’s just - it’s embarrassing.”

Ellie narrows her eyes. It’s like you can see the cogs turning in her head. “Embarrassing? What, you got a crush on some guy or something?”

You open your mouth to respond, but before you can, she’s prattling on again. “Y’know, just ‘cause I’m gay doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me about your crushes. Swear I won’t be weird about it.”

Oh god.

“It’s not - I’m not…” You sigh, gaze lowering to your lap, where you’re fiddling with your hands. Should you tell her? You should probably tell her.

“I like girls, you know.”

It’s quiet for so long that you need to look up at Ellie to make sure she’s still there, still listening. And she is; her eyes are glued to you, wide in disbelief.

“What?” You feel like a bug under a microscope with her looking at you like that. “Is it that hard to believe?”

Ellie shakes her head emphatically. “No, no - it’s not. I just didn’t expect that.”

She turns away to finish rolling the joint, twisting the very end of the paper until it forms a little point. “Guess you’re just full of surprises, huh, cherry?”

You bite your lip to stifle a smile, but Ellie sees it anyway.

“So who’s the lucky girl?” She asks, rummaging through her pocket until she finds her lighter. You watch Ellie spark the joint, the twisted end catching fire until the cherry starts to glow. Ellie takes a few puffs and the scent of smoke tickles your nose.

“I’d prefer not to say,” you tell her, chewing on the inside of your lip. Your nerves are off the wall; you’re so anxious that the joint in Ellie’s slender fingers is suddenly tempting.

Ellie scoffs. “Boring.”

She looks up at you as she flicks ash off the end of the joint, and when she notices you eyeing it, her brows lift.

“Want some? Will that make you spill?”

You huff a nervous laugh, toying with the ends of your hair. “No… I don’t know. Maybe?”

Ellie whoops, her free hand curling into a fist of victory. “Fuck yeah. Here, take it.”

She offers you the joint and you take it, but not without a moment or two of hesitation. You will the anxiety away with the thought that you probably won’t feel anything. Ellie watches as you bring the joint to your lips and inhale, praying you won’t cough and make a fool of yourself. Especially not with Ellie watching so intently.

By the grace of some kind of divine being, you don’t cough. Your throat tickles, and you feel emboldened to take one more hit, letting the smoke fill your lungs. You imagine your body relaxing, the knot in your stomach unwinding. You hand the joint back to Ellie and she takes a puff of her own, her lips curled into the faintest little smirk.

“So…” Ellie trails off expectantly.

“God, you’re persistent,” you groan. She just peers at you knowingly from behind a veil of smoke.

“There’s not much to tell,” you say. “I’ve had a crush on this girl for a while now, but I don’t think she feels the same.”

“Have you asked her?” Ellie prompts, flicking ash off the joint.

You shake your head. “No way.”

“Then,” Ellie pauses to take another hit, “how do you know she doesn’t feel the same?”

You should be feeling anxious with her drilling you like this - you know you should. Usually, you’d be retreating into yourself with every prodding question Ellie asks. But all you feel now is yearning; there’s an ache in your chest that only she can remedy. And, clearly, Ellie’s clueless about it.

You don’t want her to be clueless, you realize.

The words leave your lips before you can think better of them. “Do you, Ellie?”

Her brows knit together, forming a crease that you’ve memorized by now - like every other freckle and wrinkle on her face. “Huh? Do I what?”

You reach for the joint and she yields it without question.

“Do you feel the same about me?”

The weed has certainly helped with your nerves, you think, watching Ellie’s expression shift from confusion to realization. Her plush lips part, but all that comes out is a series of stammers and false sentence starts: “I—you—what?”

Fuck it, you think. You stretch out to reach the nightstand beside Ellie’s bed, leaving the joint in one of the ashtray’s notches. A steady stream of smoke ribbons upward from the fading cherry.

“Ellie,” you start, settling back into your place on the rug. You look at her to find her already staring at you, blinking. “It’s you. I have a crush on you. It’s been—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ellie interjects, voice softer than you’d expected.

You blink. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, I guess. And you always talked about other girls, so I thought you just… Weren’t interested.”

“Cherry.” Ellie sits up on her knees so she can get closer to you, the sleeves of her oversized flannel slipping down to her forearms as she reaches out and grabs your face. Her touch is gentle but firm, insistent. You can feel the callouses on her fingers against your skin, her thumbs brushing up against your cheekbones, and the air is suddenly so thin you can hardly inhale.

“I have… I’ve had feelings for you for so long. So fucking long, cherry.” Ellie’s gaze is intense, eyes boring into you. You feel exposed, raw, alive with something electric.

You stare right back at her, frozen in her grasp.

“But you were always talking about other girls,” you say. Doubt lingers in the back of your head; this is too good to be true. Right?

“I know, fuck, I’m sorry,” Ellie sighs. “I thought you weren’t interested in me. Thought it was hopeless, y’know? My perfect best friend having feelings for me? Unreal.”

One of Ellie’s hands smooths over your hair; it’s something she’s done plenty of times before, but it feels different now. More intimate, with your shared confessions between you.

“Wanna know something?” Ellie asks then plows on, not really waiting for an answer, “I stopped hooking up with other girls a while ago. I just… Couldn’t.”

You nod in understanding. Your eyelids feel heavy all of the sudden, each blink heavier than the last.

“They weren’t you,” Ellie adds.

They weren’t you, her words echo in your mind.

“Ellie,” you breathe. Her face is impossibly close; you can pick out every detail of her face. Each pore, each freckle, each fleck of brown in her green eyes. You can smell the weed smoke on her breath.

“Cherry,” she responds, voice hushed just as low as yours. “Cherry. Can I kiss you?”

“God, yes,” you practically whine.

When Ellie kisses you for the first time, she tastes like relief.

Her lips are soft and insistent against yours, the pad of her thumb warm against your cheek as you lean in closer to kiss her back. It’s like time has gone still; the hum of the speaker on Ellie’s dresser fades away, as does the sound of the winter winds hissing and whooshing against the window. All you know is Ellie: her hand slipping down the length of your back to grab your hip, her mouth hot and needy against yours. It’s a desperate sort of kiss, one that you’d both been yearning for, and months of pining drain from your mouth to hers, then back again.

You’re not sure if you’d been kissing for seconds or hours when Ellie finally breaks away, gasping.

“Fuck,” she whispers. The tip of her nose brushes against your cheek, then your nose. “We should stop, before I…”

She trails off but you know exactly what she’d left unsaid. And your stomach flips in response; the mere thought of what else Ellie might do with her mouth has your cunt throbbing.

Ellie’s hand leaves your hip and it’s like she’s left a burn there - one shaped like her touch, a scathing outline on your skin.

“I don’t want to stop,” you find the courage to admit.

You’re not sure who makes the first move this time - only that you’re kissing again, swallowing Ellie’s pleased moans as your tongue prods between her lips. You gasp and pant into each other’s mouths, hands roaming on newly discovered skin; Ellie’s hands slip beneath your tee, her palms hot against your abdomen, your hips, your lower back. When her fingers find the clasp of your bra and unfasten it, you practically shiver with anticipation, back arching into her touch.

“Whoa there,” Ellie laughs, nudging her nose against yours. You go in for another kiss, annoyed that she’d stopped, but she pulls back. “You’re sure you want this, cherry?”

“Please,” you say, taking advantage of the moment to pull your shirt over your head and set it aside. You toss your bra into the growing pile, turning back to Ellie to find her gaping at you.

“Christ,” she says, licking her lips, “you’re fucking perfect.”

She gives you one last heated kiss before her mouth moves to your jawline, then the column of your neck, where she leaves a trail of wet kisses. She sucks on a spot right on the crook of your neck, just shy of leaving a hickey, and your toes fucking curl.

Ellie only gives a low hum of approval at your reaction before she’s moving lower, lower. Her kisses cover your breasts, every inch of skin worshipped by her lips until she finally takes a peaked nipple into her mouth. You feel her tongue swirl against the sensitive bud and you nearly cry from the pleasure, one hand flying up to knot into her hair and tug.

Her gaze moves up to meet yours, and your cunt tightens again at the look of unbridled desire in her eyes - her lids are heavy, too, but you can’t tell if it’s from the weed or sheer lust. Maybe both, you’re not sure, but you don’t have much time to consider it before Ellie’s moving to your other nipple, tongue laving against the taut flesh before she closes her mouth around it and sucks. A ragged moan tears from your throat and you tense, tugging again at the locks of Ellie’s hair in your fist.

She leaves your nipples flushed and sensitive, shining with saliva, and you’re suddenly very aware of the layers of clothes separating you from her. Separating the wetness of your cunt from hers, the bony curve of her hips from your needy mouth. You need those layers gone.

“Ellie,” you whine, pulling at the collar of her flannel.

“Shh, I know,” she coos, voice dripping with syrupy sweet lust. “Why don’t you get on the bed for me, hm?”

You nod and oblige, but not without stopping to slip out of your jeans. You leave your panties on because, well, they’re cute. A white lace thong with a tiny, silky pink bow just below your navel - Ellie’s eyes linger there as she stands at the edge of the bed, unbuckling her belt and stepping out of her cargos. You can feel the wet patch on your panties as you press your thighs together and watch her undress. She’s always been on the thinner side, but as she slides off her flannel and pulls her sports bra over her head, you realize that she’s much more toned than you’d imagined. Her arms flex with each movement and her abdomen is clearly taut with muscle; every inch of new skin she reveals only adds to the agonizing desire churning in your stomach.

Luckily, she seems just as eager as you are. She’s still in a pair of oversized plaid boxers when she grabs hold of your hips and yanks you toward the edge of the bed, pulling your knees apart so she can see what’s between them.

“Look at you,” she says, eyes wide at the sight of your soaked panties. “I didn’t realize you were so needy, cherry. Should’ve let me take care of you sooner.”

Her words send another gush of arousal flooding from your cunt, your stomach twisting. “‘M sorry, Ellie.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she says, lowering herself onto her knees before you. Her fingers hook beneath the lace of your panties to pull them down, leaving them in a crumpled heap on the rug.

Her face sinks between your legs, and the first stroke of her tongue against your folds makes you shiver with relief.

“Oh my god,” you gasp. Ellie moans against your pussy, tongue splitting through your folds, spreading your wetness with every swipe and lick. Your back arches involuntarily, your toes curling in sheer pleasure.

She laps at your cunt like a woman starving, hot tongue drawing circles around your puffy clit. It’s maddening, the way she knows exactly what you need, speeding up and slowing down in accordance with your moans and sighs and whimpers. You’ve never felt so close so quickly, but you don’t want it to stop - her mouth is magic between your legs, and as you hurtle towards your orgasm, she slips a finger into your clenching hole. You nearly scream.

“Ellie,” you moan shakily, your thighs tightening on both sides of her head. “Ellie, I’m gonna…”

She just moans again, mouth working at your clit while her finger sinks in and out of your cunt. She adds another not long after and it’s hardly a stretch with how wet you are. You’re trembling with every stroke of her tongue against your clit, and soon enough, you feel yourself slipping off the edge into oblivion. Your orgasm tears through you like never before, hot and electric, every muscle tensing as Ellie finger-fucks you through every wave of pleasure. Eventually, you push the heel of your hand against her forehead, too overstimulated for her to keep sucking at your too-sensitive clit. She pulls back and sits on her heels, fingers leaving the tight grip of your cunt as she wipes her mouth with her other hand. Your slick covers her from the nose down, the shining evidence of how good she’d made you feel.

“So fucking pretty when you come,” Ellie tells you, standing up and lifting a knee onto the bed beside you. Her hair is a mess, you’d made sure of it, but she doesn’t seem to notice or care.

“Think you’ve got a few more for me?” She smiles at you, wolfish and wicked, and her hand moves to grope at one of your tits.

“Mm,” you hum, reaching out for her. “Only if you have a few for me.”

When she’s close enough, you slip your hand between Ellie’s legs, your fingers brushing through sparse curls to find the heat of her folds. She’s soaked, you realize with self-satisfaction, your tongue swiping over your lower lip.

This will be fun.

[charliedawn]

THE LAP DANCE

WARNING: MINORS KEEP OUT. DO NOT READ THIS. PLEASE.

Slashers x Reader

(Nurse Y/N is different from you here for plot purposes. I have nothing to say as to defend myself on why I wrote this. I just had the urge to do so. I…yeah. Enjoy.)

The hospital had reluctantly agreed to Bo’s request for a “supervised outing,” for Bo’s birthday—especially after weeks of surprisingly good behavior. Of course, they had no idea that Bo had something very specific in mind when he requested a trip to “somewhere lively.” He’d picked the club himself. Low lighting, pulsing music, velvet couches…He didn’t tell the others what was happening—just that they were all invited to celebrate with him. He grinned as he sat and invited the others to join him…

The paperwork the Head Nurse had to fill to make this happen was colossal, but Bo had been adamant about his birthday present.

Worth it when he saw the faces of the others when the girl arrived…Most of those guys had never had a lap dance in their lives. He smirked. Oh yeah. That was gonna be fun.

Jason Voorhees:

Frozen. Absolutely paralyzed. Jason doesn’t know where to look or what to do with his hands. His entire body is tense like a statue. Inside ? A confused whirlwind of “???” and “why is this happening ?” but also…maybe a little flustered and shyly grateful. He’d never ask for it, but wouldn’t stop you either.

From the moment you straddle the chair in front of him, Jason stiffens. He doesn’t move—doesn’t blink, doesn’t breathe. His fingers dig into the armrests like they’re the only thing tethering him to the earth. Under that cracked hockey mask, his single visible eye widens ever so slightly, flicking to your hands, your hips, your eyes when you make contact. It’s not lust so much as bewilderment—why would you do this for him ? Is this a trick ? A trap ?

But the longer you dance, the more his breathing changes. He starts shifting slightly in his seat, body quaking with barely restrained energy. His hand reaches out…but hovers in the air, not quite daring to touch. He has seen many teens having intercourse but this is…quite nice actually. It is dancing and you aren’t being particularly rude or loud or touchy…He likes that.

Michael Myers:

While the others hoot, shift, or lean in with hungry stares, Michael sits still—hands resting on his knees, mask tilted ever so slightly, eyes locked on you. You might think he’s unaffected…until you notice his breathing pick up and his grip tightening slightly on the chair.

When you approach him, the temperature seems to drop. He doesn’t lean forward or make room, but he doesn’t stop you either. He allows it. Which, for Michael, says more than words ever could. You straddle him. And for a split second—just one—his chest rises sharply. You move slowly, sensually, teasing your fingertips along the neckline of his jumpsuit, arching your back, letting your breath tickle the blank white mask. His hands remain rigid at first, curled into fists on his thighs.

Then—contact. Your hips roll against him. His eyes, dark through the mask’s hollow sockets, stay trained on you. Studying the way you smirk, the way you dance like you aren’t afraid. Like you know the risk and don’t care. But he does eventually put a hand on your hip.

He tilts his head ever so slightly when you leave, watching the sway of your hips. His hand stay outstretched for a moment longer, fingers still faintly curled where your body had been.

His chest rises again. Slower this time. Controlled. And though he says nothing, you can feel it: he liked it.

Freddy Krueger:

“Oh-ho-ho, baby, you’re speaking my language.” Freddy is hands-on, mouthy, and teasing the entire time. He’d throw dollar bills like a drunk uncle at a Vegas show and demand an encore. Flirty and crude, but underneath it all, he’s way more into the attention than he lets on. “Ohhh, damn, sweetheart. This is better than any dream I’ve ever stitched up.”

He doesn’t shut up the whole time, muttering dirty jokes and praises like a sleazy lounge host. His hat tilts back as he leans in, ogling you with zero shame. But unlike the others, Freddy interacts—when you get close, he runs one gloved finger along your thigh, teasing the line of your outfit, his smirk widening with every beat of the music.

But the minute you turn around and grind on him ? His cocky persona falters just slightly. He bites his lip, real need flickering behind the grin. Afterwards, he claps slowly, theatrically, leaning back. “I knew you were gonna be fantastic, babe. And you didn’t disappoint. Papa Freddy is extremely happy right about now and hard as a rock.”

Bo Sinclair:

“Well, aren’t you a piece of work…” He smirks, eyes devouring every movement, but he gets cocky—leaning back like a king on his throne. It’s not his first time. It shows. Bo’s legs are spread wide, lounging in the chair like a man who owns the world. He licks his lips slowly, arms stretched out behind him.

As your dance starts, he keeps his hands to himself…barely. You feel his breath hitch when you slide down in front of him. His eyes darken, smile twitching wider. He murmurs praises under his breath—low, gritty words like “good girl” and “keep movin’ just like that.” 

By the end, his fingers are curled around the edge of his seat, holding back from pulling you onto his lap. “Goddamn,” he chuckles, “Best fifty dollars ever spent in my entire life.”

Vincent Sinclair:

Embarrassed immediately. Turns red, avoids eye contact, tries to hide behind his hair or sketchpad. But his eyes keep sneaking glances, and he can’t help the way his fingers twitch like he wants to touch you but doesn’t dare. The moment you step toward him, he tries to shrink. Not literally, but everything in his posture folds inward. His hands fly to the edge of his hoodie, and he hunches as if to hide his face under his hair. But he doesn’t look away.

Not once.

His eyes follow every movement with trembling fascination, like he’s afraid to blink and miss a frame. When you get close—really close—he stops breathing altogether. His fists ball up in his lap, and his cheeks are flushed pink under his hair and mask. He doesn’t move an inch, but the heat in his gaze is molten.

Later, he sketches you from memory. Every curve. Every glance. Every emotion. He liked the experience, wouldn’t mind reiterating said experience.

Norman Bates:

To be fair, Norman had only accepted because Nurse Y/N had told him to keep an eye on the other slashers. But, when he sees the place they are going to ? He suddenly feels a lot less confident. “I—I don’t think this is very…proper—” but he’s also not stopping you when you start dancing. His hands hover in the air helplessly, and he tries not to breathe too loud. Afterward, Mother’s voice in his head is screaming, but Norman ? He’s still blushing and very confused. But also…not all that repulsed.

His hands twitch at his sides, desperate to touch but too afraid. You brush your hand over his chest, and he whimpers softly.

After you walk away, he’s breathless, shaking slightly, muttering apologies to no one. But then he looks up again…and there’s a new kind of hunger in his gaze. He smirks.

…Yeah. That one is definitely going to become a regular.

Bubba Sawyer:

Bubba makes a squealing sound the moment you straddle the chair. It’s unclear whether he’s scared or excited. His face turns bright red, and he flaps his hands like he’s not sure what to do with them. He hides behind them for half a second before peeking through his fingers.

Blushing hard. His hands flap, he whimpers a little, and he might hide behind his hands. But he’s also clearly enjoying himself. His big grin shows it. When you grind a little too close, he lets out a surprised squeak and covers his face, but peeks out and watches everything.

When it’s over, he runs up and gives you the biggest bear hug, spinning you around once in celebration. He won’t stop clapping for you the rest of the night.

Thomas Hewitt:

Growls under his breath, fists clenched on his thighs. You’re testing his self-control, and he knows it. His chest rises and falls in heavy breaths, and the longer it goes on, the more unstable he becomes. He breathes hard the moment you strut in front of him. You’re not even dancing yet and he’s already looking you up and down with something between awe and animalistic restraint. His large hands rest heavily on his thighs, clenched tightly.

As you dance, he watches every motion with dark. His chest rises and falls more rapidly as you get closer, his entire body coiled with tension. You swear you hear a low growl deep in his throat when you drag your hands over his chest.

He doesn’t touch you at first.

Eventually, he might lift you right into his lap and kiss your neck hard. He is the only one who might get mouth-to-skin contact. But don’t worry, he won’t bite. Not unless he wants to be electrocuted and turned to pixie dust. ☺️

Jack Torrance:

He hoots and hollers through your whole performance like he’s in a cabaret bar. “That’s it, baby ! Look at those moves !” He’s 100% the loud drunk in the front row who starts singing along to the music and snapping his fingers.

“Ohhh, baby, you sure know how to treat a guy.” Jack leans into it, encouraging, smirking, whispering lewd things. He loves the attention and makes constant eye contact. Afterwards ? He’s smug as hell, walking around the hotel like he just won the lottery. He also thanks Bo profusely and they become best friends for the night…

Pennywise:

From the moment the music starts, Pennywise leans back against the shadows with his long fingers steepled under his chin, watching you with intense curiosity. His golden eyes flicker like candle flames, tracking your every movement.

As you dance closer to him, his expression shifts. The smile fades ever so slightly. Not in anger—more like uncertainty. You reach toward him, slow and teasing, and he goes completely still. No sound. No breath. Just those eyes, narrowed.

The moment your hand comes too close to brushing his cheek or chest—he vanishes. Blink. Gone.

But when you turn around again ? He’s right there. Closer now. Watching. Still not touching. He doesn’t want you to touch him.

At the end of your dance, when you bow or step away, he claps once. Just once. Slow. Deliberate. Like a judgment being passed down.

“You move like you know what you’re doing,” he says with a grin. “Not bad. Not bad at all.”

Penny:

He claps, giggles, and cheers mid-dance like he’s at a burlesque show. “Encore ! Encore !” He might offer you popcorn or cotton candy, completely delighted. He doesn’t always understand why people do sexy things, but he loves the performance. He sits on the edge of his seat like a kid at the circus, kicking his feet and giggling.

“Ohhhh, sweet little treat,” he croons, voice sing-song and warped. “You’re like a cherry pie with hips. Can I eat you ? Please ? Just a nibble ?”

He gets too close.

Just as your back is turned, he lunges—mouth wide, eyes flashing, teeth glinting with glee as he moves to take a bite from your shoulder like a rabid animal.

But slam !

In an instant, Pennywise materializes behind him, his massive clawed hand snapping around Penny’s jaw with a sickening crunch. He slams it shut, hard enough to rattle Penny’s fangs back into his throat. Penny stumbles slightly, blinking in surprise.

Pennywise doesn’t even raise his voice. He leans in and whispers:

“…Not that one.”

His golden eyes flick toward you. Not warm, not fond—but fixed.

“She dances pretty.”

Penny, whimpering like a scolded mutt, rubs his jaw and slinks back with a pout. “I was only gonna take a bite, brother…”

But he obeys. For now.

….

You’re barely catching your breath, still flushed from your bold little performance—knees slightly wobbly, heart hammering in your chest—as you glance up…and realize you’re surrounded.

They’ve all circled you.

Jason looms like a mountain, machete slung lazily over one shoulder. Michael stands just behind you, silently staring. Freddy flicks his glove fingers playfully, grinning like he’s already rehearsing round two. Thomas is breathing heavily through his mask. Even Vincent, half-hidden, is watching you like you’re made of gold.

And then, Bo Sinclair steps forward, slow and deliberate, boots heavy on the floor. He gives you a long, shameless once-over, smirking like the devil just gave him permission to misbehave.

“Well, ain’t you somethin’ ?” he drawls, voice like warm whiskey. “Gotta say, that was…real good stuff. Me and the boys were impressed. And we ain’t easy to impress.”

He looks around at the other slashers, then back to you.

“See, sugar,” Bo says, “we had a little plan goin’. End of the night ? You weren’t supposed to be breathin’.”

Your stomach drops—but before panic can settle in, he leans in close, his voice lowering to something darkly amused.

“But after the show you just gave us ?” His smirk widens. “We had a little change of heart.”

Without warning, he slaps your ass, the sound echoing in the stunned silence.

“Thanks for the show, darlin’.”

You hear Freddy whistle low and impressed. Penny claps like a delighted child. Norman’s flushed to the tips of his ears. Michael simply stares at you, head tilted—but he nods at the end.

You swallow. What the hell just happened ?

You then are about to turn around to leave when Pennywise appears out of nowhere and winks cheekily at you before raising two finger with a good sum between them.

“Here. A lil’ extra for…the dance.”

You hesitate before taking the money. “Hum…Thanks ?"

The clown smirks and waves you goodbye before vanishing…That was definitely weird. Who were those guys ?

…

The van rolls up late at night, headlights slicing through the darkness as the hospital doors creak open. One by one, the slashers spill out—disheveled, flushed, and strangely quiet. Nurse Y/N stands at the front desk, arms crossed, waiting. The clipboard in hand is more for show—because what she’s really doing is assessing. Making sure no one’s covered in blood. Making sure no one’s missing.

Bo’s the last to step in.

He glances at Nurse Y/N, eyes gleaming. There’s a cocky smile dancing at the corner of his mouth. He drags a finger across his jaw, then clicks his tongue and chuckles low.

“Best birthday ever,” he drawls, voice rough with satisfaction. He steps close—closer than usual—and before she can sass him or ask questions, he leans in and plants a surprisingly soft kiss on her cheek.

“Thanks for tonight, nursey. We had a lotta fun with the guys.”

Nurse Y/N raises an eyebrow. “You all behaved I hope ?”

Bo shoots her a wolfish grin. “Define behave, sugar.”

And just like that, he saunters off, whistling a tune only he knows—birthday boy glowing in the aftermath of the most chaotic lap dance club outing the hospital has ever approved.

The next day…

It’s quiet. Suspiciously quiet.

Nurse Y/N is sipping her coffee, enjoying the brief calm after the storm that was Bo Sinclair’s birthday lap dance club field trip. She’s finally thinking she can make it through the day without someone licking a scalpel or breaking a vending machine.

Then, she hears soft footsteps.

She looks up—and freezes.

It’s Vincent.

He’s standing there in front of her, hands behind his back, hair slightly messier than usual. There’s something different about him. He’s fidgeting—not the usual nervous twitch, but…expectant.

Her nurse senses tingle.

“Vincent ?” she asks cautiously, setting her coffee down. “You okay ? Did Bo tie you to a chair again or something ?”

He shakes his head slowly. Then, with a little more confidence than she’s used to from him, he extends a neatly folded piece of paper.

“You need something, sweetheart ?” she asks kindly as she takes the piece of paper with a smile. He fidgets. Hovers. Shuffles forward. Y/N reads it and—mid-sip of her coffee—nearly chokes.

Scrawled in careful handwriting:

Me and Bo are twins. I haven’t asked for my gift yet…but now, I think I would like another session at the club. Please. Thank you.

Her eyes go comically wide. Her mouth opens, then closes. She nearly topples over in her chair, catching herself on the edge of the desk. He looks at her with the most innocent expression, head tilted, hands neatly folded in front of him like he just asked for more applesauce.

“You…you want what ?”

He nods. Slowly. Firmly.

“…Another session ? And Bo did not influence you ? You can tell me if he did…”

A beat. He nods again. This time more enthusiastically.

She slaps the desk, turns on her heel, and walks in a circle trying to collect her thoughts. “I—I’m gonna have a heart attack before this week is over, Vincent. A lap dance isn’t a birthday cupcake !”

He taps the note again, politely reminding her of the whole “Bo and I are twins” logic. As if that made any more sense. Yeah. They are twins, but that doesn’t mean they would like the exact same gift ! She expected things like paint, a new set of canvas, anything else but what Bo asked for !

“Are you sure, Vincent ?”

Vincent just stands there. Silent. Tilts his head ever so slightly. Then—he nods.

Dead serious.

As Nurse Y/N tries to gather her wits after Vincent’s note, the door creaks open just a little wider, and out steps Eddie Munson, his usual chaotic energy practically radiating off of him. His eyes are wide with excitement, and he’s looking from Vincent to Nurse Y/N like he’s stumbled into the best surprise of his life.

“Hey, uh…I’m gonna be honest, I heard about the lap dance session thing, and uh, I was wondering—” he begins with big bright sparkling eyes, and Nurse Y/N groans, rubbing her temples. Of course. Freddy must have told him. Like father—like son. Figures.

Before she can respond, there’s a crash from the hallway—a crash that sounds suspiciously like a door slamming open. Seconds later, Five Hargreeves appears. One of his hands is stuffed in his pockets while in the other he is holding a cup of coffee, but his eyes have the same glint of mischievous intent. He then doesn’t even hesitate before sitting on her desk—knee-crossed—sipping loudly while staring right at her.

“Sooo…I heard that something interesting happened last night. Didn’t know things like private shows were on the table for us, Nurse Y/N ? Or else I would have asked for that kind of service a looong time ago.” Five asks, his voice dripping with disbelief. He raises an eyebrow and takes another sip.

Before Nurse Y/N can even process what’s happening, Eddie leans against the desk too and flutters his eyelashes at her, grinning like the devil himself. “So, uh, since Bo, y’know, got that as his birthday present, do you mind if we—join the fun next time ? For Vince ?Hmm ? Come on. We will be sooo nice. Promise. And also, Brahms wants to join in too next time. Seriously, we were kinda disappointed not to be included. Like, rude…But a mistake can always be repaired. Part of our lesson on redemption and…stuff.”

Five cuts him off with a dry, “I’m not missing the next round of that. But you. You’re still a kid. What are you ? 18 ?”

Eddie frowns at him.

“25. And says the seventy-something old guy trapped in a 12-year-old body.”

Five rolls his eyes and Nurse Y/N pinches the bridge of her nose in exasperation…She is really reconsidering her life and the choices she made that led up to this moment…Bo saunters past the doorway just in time to catch the scene and lets out a bark of laughter.

She glares at him.

“BO SINCLAIR ! COME BACK HERE ! SEE WHAT YOU DID ?! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU DEGENERATE PERVERT !” She shouts and Bo only laughs harder as she chases after him—barely missing her shoe as it flies past his head.

Eddie raises his hand like a student eager to answer. “So, uh, about that invite…What time are we leaving ? I’m assuming we get VIP treatment, right ?”

Five adds with his usual cool, nonchalant voice, “If it’s anything like what the guys had last night ? I want to be front row.”

[chericherrybaby]

I’LL PICK YOU UP ON THE WAY HOME

Summary, Jealous ex-boyfriend, Harry picks you up from a party after a last choice call was made from you.

Warnings, Jealous Harry?

This is so many words and not much dialogue. Enjoy the first of many!!

…

Harry was an ex you hadn’t spoken to in almost two years.

He was someone you had loved very much at the time, he was just a little bit too protective over you at the time, which is not what you had wanted as a 21 year old girl who’s friends loved a party.

You had never ridded his contact of your phone, it felt strange since he had been the first number to go in it after you had gotten it with him. Plus, he had never done anything wrong and you felt slightly bad for ending things the way you did.

You hadn’t been together that long at the time, you had told yourself hundreds of times, trying to rid the guilt you had whenever one of your girlfriends would tell you how miserable he was.

It was terrible that one of your girlfriends was dating his best friend, and you were a main source of topic for their entertainment.

You had thought about calling him as soon as your date had pulled up to the house, you could hear the music booming atleast 4 streets away and the place looked crammed with 17 year olds, a weird place for a 25 year old to take you on a first date.

He had led you inside the house, letting you follow his heels, greeting almost everyone that was in his path.

Your first red flag was a girl coming up to your date, who was unfortunately named Chad, you’d heard it all from your girlfriends already, and him hugging her with his hands a bit too close to somewhere they shouldn’t be.

This had made you pull your phone out, scroll down to the very bottom of your contacts and send a quick message to someone who may not even answer you, you’d been so lucky he hadn’t blocked you already and you were so grateful.

You sent a quick “hey” and hoped the recipient didn’t hate you as much as you hated yourself for texting him.

…

About an hour later, the party felt a bit dull compared to when you had arrived, everyone feeling lulled on the couch from everything they had drank, smoked and consumed in many other ways.

Including your date.

You had never been happier to feel your phone ringing in your back pocket and feel the excitement yet dread when your screen read “Harry Styles”

“Hello” you said sounding a little ashamed, making your way to sit on the front porch away from the booming music and the yelling of party goers who were still feeling their high.

“Hey” he replied sounding a little too groggy for you liking, like he’d woken and immediately called you “Why’d you text me? Thought you wanted nothing to do with me”

You felt your heart pang a little at this, but you could feel the hurt in his voice also “I’m at a party with a bunch of high schoolers. I need an escape”

“Gonna need more than that to get me going Y/N” he’d never sounded so irritated to you, but you also understood. The first time you’d texted him in almost two years was for an excuse to leave a party.

“Please come get me, i’ve basically been ditched and none of the girls know i’m here” You sighed feeling so ashamed you were doing this”

Harry ended the call. You waited, hoping he was still the sweet boy you had met 5 years ago.

…

10 minutes later, Harry’s car pulled up outside of the house. You jumped to your feet, jogged over to the car and placed yourself in his passenger seat

“Thank you so much Harry” you looked at him, your eyes pleading for his to meet yours.

He hummed in acknowledgment.

You sat in silence for 5 minutes while Harry drove in the direction opposite of your apartment, He came to a stop when he came to a quieter road with houses all using dimmed lights. He turned the car off and placed his hands in his lap.

“What are we-”

“Why have you done this to me Y/N? You know i’m still so utterly in love with you. So you text me at 11pm a shitty message saying ‘hey’”

“In my defence you’re the one who called me, you could’ve ignored my message and blocked me, you can’t blame me for your lack of self control”

You heard harry chuckle quietly to himself, that’s when you realised you’d said something that maybe you shouldn’t have.

“What are you even doing at a party full of children, you’re 23 Y/N” Harry finally looked at your face, your red cheeks prominent and wasted makeup.

His heart broke knowing after he dropped you home, you were gone again and there was nothing he could do about it.

“I was supposed to be on a first date, but instead he drove us to a high schoolers party. Basically touched up a girl right infront of my face, then got pissed and probably even high while letting me fend for myself when these are people he knows”

Harry slightly laughs to himself, but tires to cover it up by slapping his hand over his mouth. “You sure know how to pick ‘em”

“Picked you. You’re alright” You remarked back and Harry’s head quickly snapped back up to you and slightly glared at you “Sorry, that was really mean”

“I really fucking hate when you go on dates, y’know. Makes me so cross knowing ‘yer going out with all these shit guys when i’m right infront of you”

It’s like he was on his knees begging, pleading for you to love him. Tearing his heart out of his chest ready to give to you.

“You’ve always been such a jealous prick” You smirked at him and he couldn’t help his lips curling up into a smile.

“Hard not to be, look at you. You’re insane and i had my chance and fucked it with you, Cause i was scared to lose something i wanted forever”

You sighed and reached over to place your hand on top of his, he flinched away slightly. You curled your fingers around his hand and held it tightly.

“I love you” You admitted shamefully “It never went anywhere and i think i may just be slightly ashamed that i ended something so good just for what? To get drunk and dance around at a party full of strangers. When i had you waiting for me with open arms no matter the time i came back”

Harry shifted in his seat and moved towards the centre console of his car, you kicked your shoes off and sat cross legged on his passenger seat. Turning towards him, being able to see his face fully.

“You infuriate me, you know that don’t you” He says moving closer, close enough you could feel his breath of your face.

Swearing you could heart his heart beating out of his chest.

“Can you please” You thought for a second, were you making the right decision? Telling him you wanted him all over again, when you feared you may be slightly high from all the fumes in that house party.

Harry hummed gently “What would you like, Angel? Anything for you. I swear” His eyes flicked down towards your lips but quickly returned to your eyes.

“Kiss me” you practically begged him.

His lips crashed onto yours, his hands finding your jaw and cupping your cheeks while you sat in, what felt like an isolated area.

Kissing a man that you thought was just madly possessive over you, instead he just wanted the world for you, and you were the world to him.

[lyrenminth]

Quality time and a surprise

Justin x reader.

Fluffy fluff.

Justin needed to have her close—at least within his line of sight. She had never thought her boyfriend would be the clingy type, but he was, in his own way. When he was driving, he had to keep a hand on her leg; when they walked, he held her hand; and when they were surrounded by people, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders or her waist. He always sought physical contact first—even during arguments.

He liked it when she stroked his hair and kissed his face all over. When she sat on his lap and traced the lines of his face with the tip of her finger, he would close his eyes—content and obedient.

But more than anything, he loved eating with her. When he was at work, he would take time out to visit a nearby restaurant for lunch. That was when his coworkers realized he was truly in love.

Justin never said much—his actions spoke for him. Despite the teasing from his coworkers, his behavior never changed.

Since she loved to talk, she carried most of the conversations, and he simply listened—grateful for a distraction from football.

It was the off-season, and they were in the backyard. Justin was grilling meat while she sat close to the barbecue, opened his beers, and told him about her ceramics class and her classmates.

“Christi told me she’s getting divorced,” she said, taking a sip of her beer. “It caught me off guard because she always bragged about her marriage.”

“Isn’t she your age?” he asked, once again proving he did pay attention to what she told him.

“Yes, but that’s not the point. She said Dan had been cheating on her since high school. Can you believe that?” she said, watching his reaction. Justin merely raised an eyebrow and said nothing. “When I asked her why she stayed with him, she said she loved him too much to let go,” she sighed. “When are we going to the farm? I need to see Freddy.” The abrupt change of subject made him laugh. That’s how she was—one moment she was telling a story about someone dying, and the next she was asking what was for dinner. It could be jarring at first, but Justin understood it wasn’t intentional.

Freddy was her duck. A big, loving duck with a long neck and the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.

“In two weeks. I’ve got a couple of interviews to do first,” he replied with a shrug of annoyance.

“Wipe that face off. I know you enjoy it,” she said. He rolled his eyes and pretended to hit her with the tongs. She backed away, laughing.

“I’m not opening any more beers for you,” she warned. One of her hidden talents—she could open a beer with almost anything.

“Oh no! What am I going to do?” he said in a mock-dramatic tone, flipping the meat.

***

Herbert Ranch was a beautiful place, full of trees and green grass. The country house was rustic and cozy, and in many ways, it reflected Justin’s personality.

He was more relaxed there. He enjoyed taking walks and being around the animals. Justin was a hardworking man, and she loved that about him. She could imagine their kids running through the yard, helping Justin with chores, gathering eggs, and chasing chickens in their tiny farm boots.

It was a peaceful life—the kind he wanted after retirement.

They were resting under a tree, far from the house and the noise. She had baked an apple pie that he was enjoying, along with some fresh fruit she had helped him cut. Freddy waddled nearby—his quacks audible in the distance. Siberia, a beautiful black Labrador, lay at Justin’s feet.

“We need to fix the chicken coop before the rains come,” Justin commented, watching her struggle with a jar of cherries. He took it from her hands and opened it in one smooth motion. “Ha! I loosened the lid for you,” she joked. He playfully poked her ribs.

He looked younger—and damn it, even more handsome. Age suited him. She sometimes had to suppress jealousy when other women ogled him with obvious lust. She understood it—Justin's figure and presence were striking—but they had no right to stare at him for more than ten seconds. Period.

She pulled out a cherry and popped it into her mouth. Her boyfriend’s blue eyes were on her constantly. She licked her lips and let out a moan. “Mmm, delicious,” she said, teasing him. Justin raised an eyebrow but said nothing. His eyes sparkled, and a smile slowly formed on his lips.

They kept eating cherries in silence, enjoying the view and the fresh breeze.

“Hey,” Justin tugged on her sleeve to get her attention. He moved closer, his eyes filled with longing. Her heart clenched in anticipation. “Marry me.”

His words left her speechless. “What?” she blurted out, confused.

“I want you to be my wife,” he declared, with the same serious tone. She blinked several times before smiling nervously. “Are you serious?”

Justin nodded and leaned in to kiss her. His lips were sweet—tasting like apple—and his week-old beard scraped her skin in a pleasant way. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap in one fluid motion. She caressed his arms, feeling his muscles and sun-kissed skin. She leaned in to kiss him again, still unsure if he was serious or not. When the kiss ended, she was breathless. Justin’s hands were touching her all over—gently and lovingly.

“Be my wife, please,” he repeated with a tenderness that surprised her.

Oh, he meant it.

She started to cry and pressed her forehead to his. “Yes, Justin. I do want to be your wife,” she said, hugging him like she wanted to melt into his chest. She heard him sigh with relief.

“Sorry—I forgot the ring back at the house,” he said, embarrassed. “I’ll give it to you when we go back.” She laughed through her tears. The ring didn’t matter—she just wanted Justin.

“Don’t worry,” she said, wiping her tears. He took her face in his hands and gently stroked her cheeks with his thumbs.

“You make me so happy,” he whispered.

“Oh, Justin,” she sobbed again. “I love you.”

“Yeah?” he asked, hopeful.

“I’ve told you before,” she reminded him.

“Really?” he said, pretending to be confused. “I don’t remember.”

“I love you,” she repeated.

Let me know if you'd like a version with names or locations adapted!

He smiled, his eyes shining like stars. “Say it again.”

“I love you,” she said, placing her hand on his chest and feeling his heart race.

“One more time.”

“I love you.”

He kissed her again—for who knows how long—until Siberia started barking and their lips began to ache. They gathered their things and walked back to the house, hand in hand, side by side.

[star-eyed-angels]

Secrets and Sleep

bang chan x gn reader

fluff 1.6k

where you spill your heart out to your sleeping boyfriend.

AN: A small thing I started when I was sad that morphed into something more hope you like it.

______

It’s nearly 2 a.m. as you lay in bed, your boyfriend at your side. With Chan’s habit of working through the night in the studio, it’s rare you have him in bed with you before the sun is up. But tonight he’d come home earlier, wanting to spend a little more time with you to ease his stress. Tonight that meant cuddling in bed after a takeout dinner. 

Now you found yourself wide awake with a sleeping Chan next to you. His body is turned towards you as he sleeps on his side, pillow smushed against the side of his face. 

You brush the curly hair delicately out of his face, smiling softly when he shifts closer to you. You’ve always thought he looked so beautiful while he slept. Looking nothing but relaxed. Exuding pure warmth and comfort when he sleeps. You tuck your hands back under your cheek resting on them as you watch Chans even breathing. Your eyes trail over his features slowly, a small smile on your face as you watch him. The room is quiet as you feel your heart squeeze with the need to speak. 

“So many nights I used to wish for someone. Nights I dreamed of finding love, the right love,” your voice is soft as you speak into the open room, being careful to not wake Chan from his sleep. “And then the universe sent me you… perfectly wrapped in your endless black hoodies and topped with your messy little curls,” you gently trace a finger around one of his curls. 

“I remember the first time I met you at the cafe. You hadn’t even been in the building for five minutes before I was spilling half my order into your lap,” you cover your face in embarrassment. A laugh escapes you as you recall the memory.  “God, I was absolutely mortified. And then you were the one apologizing to me.” 

“To be honest, I never thought someone could look like you and still be that nice. Hot and kind Mr. Bahng,” you snort out quietly. You remember his smile as he waved off your apologies. Even as the lingering bits of coffee dripped onto his lap. You think you hadn’t 

“But there you were. Being so kind even after I ruined your clothes. And then you just stuck, like me embarrassing myself in front of you just made us friends. You were so willing to bring me into your circle and into your life.” You pause, staring off into the room around you. 

The room is still quiet as you glance at the photos and decorations littered around the space. Memories of before and after your relationship started, pieces of furniture you’d bickered over before laughing at how much you sounded like an old married couple. Even the bed you sleep on holds the memory of putting it together and suffering with Chan as he struggled to interpret the instructions. You can't help but feel sentimental in your room, your home. Thinking about how it all started with meeting Chan.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful I am to have you. Ever since we met, you’ve always been so kind and willing to help. Even without knowing you, I could see that. And when we became friends that didn’t change, you offered me someone to lean on and the opportunity to make my own little circle with your members. In the short time after we met you added so much joy to my life and I genuinely couldn't believe it.” 

You turn back to look at Chan, who is still asleep, his slow breaths the only sound in the room. 

“And then you asked me out and I had never been so nervous in my life.” The memory of when he asked you out warms your heart. You don’t think you’d ever seen him that nervous as he avoided eye contact with you. His ears and cheeks pink as he had stumbled over his words. To be fair you weren’t doing any better, with your barely controlled giggles and warm face.  You’d thanked whatever in the universe kept you standing on your feet as you listened to his confession. 

“I was scared, you know, to fall in love again. Even though I wanted it, I didn’t think it was for me…” You hesitate, but decide to continue, “Everyone before, they didn't- They didn’t make me feel like I was worth the effort… I felt like a chore really…

“I was so convinced that I was unlovable. Each and every heartbreak just made me feel I wasn’t worth the effort.You place your hand on his cheek, softly rubbing your thumb against it.

Your voice is soft as you continue, ”But you’ve never made me feel like I was invisible. Like I was a cutout in this relationship. When it comes to you, you’ve shown me what it really means to be in love.”

“The ways you love me, you’re so attentive, so caring, so.. You. I’ve never felt a love like this. I wish there was a greater word to use than love, because you do more than love me. It’s like you give me the world in every little thing you do for me.” You laugh, a hint of embarrassment making you warm even though Chan is sleeping quietly next to you. 

“We’ve been together for so long, yet you’re still here giving me butterflies like a schoolgirl crush. I know it's a little silly, but you just make me feel like I’m something special”. You pause, stopping the words on the tip of your tongue.

Even after all this time, the hesitation from past relationships makes you nervous. But one look at Chan makes your worries fall away. He’s been your safe place for almost as long as you’ve known him. Even with this. Even if the thought of saying it out loud scares you, you know Chan would never judge you. You smile as you look at him, taking a calming breath. Even in his sleep it still feels like he’s helping you to calm your nerves. 

“You make me feel like I’m worth a forever,” Your confession comes out in a shaky whisper. You pause, even in the still room it feels like the world may suddenly come crashing down at your confession. But nothing changes. The room is still quiet. Chan still sleeps peacefully next to you. Your heart is still slightly beating out of your body. But a weight on your chest has slightly been lifted.

“I know that being in a relationship isn’t easy. But even through all the ups and downs, I’ve never felt unloved by you. Even the hard days don't feel as hard.

“I know at the beginning, loving me was hard. A lot of the time I  let my fear of us get in the way… but you were always patient. You never pushed me, never made me do something I didn’t want to. It’s like you know me better than I know myself most days.

“And I just… I just really hope you know how much I love you. How I would bring heaven down for you if I could. Catch all the stars in the sky for you. I want to give you the world like you do for me. And I kinda really want to spend the rest of my life with you.

You pause smiling softly at him. You lean forward, gently brushing your lips across his forehead. “I don’t know if you feel the same, but I really hope you do,” you mumble softly. 

You place a gentle kiss against his skin, smiling as you lean back. 

“Sweet dreams my love,” you say softly, bringing your hand back down to your side. You watch Chan’s steady breathing, feeling your eyes get heavier with the need to sleep. The last thing you remember is moving closer to Chan, before you’re fast asleep next to him. 

_______

Chan has no secrets. He’s always been open with you. Even with the occasional surprise he still manages to give it away.

‘I did get you an anniversary gift. But I won’t tell you what it is.’

‘I’m planning your birthday party, what kind of cake do you want?’

Most people would be put off by this. Something about needing surprises to keep a relationship going. But you love Chan's openness. You love how he wants everything to go perfect, paying attention to every little detail.. It makes you feel special and you love it. Other than that, Chan has no secrets.

That is until tonight.

Tonight as he lays with his eyes closed next to you. He shifts closer to you sleepily as he feels your fingers near his hair. He’s about to open his eyes to look at you when you speak. His heart feels like it’s beating out of his chest as you open your heart out to him. He thought that he couldn’t fall even more in love with you, but here you are stealing his heart once again.He doesn’t think he’s ever felt more in love with you than this moment.

He fights the urge to jump up and trap you in his arms, to pepper every inch of your skin in kisses and tell you how much he loves you. He knows this is a delicate moment. One he’ll treasure for the rest of his life. 

So after tonight Chan has two secrets.

The first being that he’s not actually asleep next to you and can hear every word you’re saying. He figures he’ll tell you eventually. When the moment is right.

Which brings him to his second secret.

When he’s gonna give you the ring he plans to buy you first thing in the morning. His commitment to never stop showing you what you mean to him. A promise to a forever that you deserve.

A forever that he really wants to spend with you too.

[imaginesandbandfiction]

Triad Part 1 — How You Met Cas and Az

A Cazriel x Reader Headcanon

Series Masterlist

A/N: This is a headcanon on steroids, haha! Kind of a prequel in the same universe as this one. I’ve got a few more in the works but feel free to shoot me an ask if you have any requests!

You met Cassian and Azriel when you were sent from your tiny border village to Velaris, hand-picked by Madja as one of her healer’s apprentices.

Cassian first; even through teeth gritted against pain, he’d been a shameless flirt.

“Wow, you’re really good with your hands,” he said, flashing a cheeky grin over his shoulder as you wrapped it in a bandage to keep it stable while his muscles finished healing.

You patched him up a few more times before meeting Az, but eventually the Shadowsinger showed up with a gash in his back, bisecting his wings.

It was clearly not an injury from active combat, nor did it seem like torture. It was a threat. Using power for power’s sake.

You’d made eye contact, and your eyes drooped at the corners like you knew not to mention it, but your concern needed to express itself somehow. Like your empathy for others was woven into your skin.

When you finished your apprenticeship, Rhysand offered you a job in his court as a field healer. Later, you’d learn it was Azriel who’d recommended you.

In hindsight, you should have seen it sooner. When Rhys needed a job done right, no questions asked, he sent his dream team. The general, the spy, and the healer.

You spent 5 decades convinced the connection between the three of you was purely platonic.

It was Azriel who started suspecting the mating bond first. He felt his shadows tugging him towards you like they’d already sniffed you out. They never listened properly around you unless someone was in mortal danger; preferring to lap at your feet like gentle waves. Sometimes, one would escape from his grasp and snake its way up your body and you’d giggle—it was over for him the first time heard it. So he kept quiet, either biding his time until the bond snapped and proved him right or left him doomed to an eternity of pining.

You were worth the risk.

Cassian, on the other hand, went straight to Rhys when he started suspecting. Just barged right into the High Lord’s study like he owned the place and draped himself over the armchair in the corner.

“What’s wrong, brother?” Rhys asked, secretly grateful for a distraction; he’d been doing paperwork all morning

“I just got done training with Y/N,” Cassian grumbled.

“Congratulations, or I’m sorry that happened?”

“I dunno, it’s been weird lately. Like my siphons aren’t working properly, or something. I can feel my magic flowing through my body when I’m around her and… it’s so fucking stupid, Rhys, but…” Cas trailed off, too afraid to say the words in case they weren’t true.

“You’re wondering if it could be the mating bond?” Cas buried his head in his hands and nodded. Rhys laughed at him. “Well, just from looking at you I think that it probably is, but I can take a look and see if your magic looks any different.”

“Do it.” There was no hesitation. He had to know.

Rhys slipped into Cassian’s mind and it was pure chaos. The red threads of his magic were tangled up with shimmering gold and deep violet.

Rhys pulls out and Cassian’s head snaps up, wide eyes locking on Rhys’s. Cas’s face lit up sight of the High Lord’s shit-eating smirk.

“Really?” he asked, letting the words escape atop a soft exhale.

“Congratulations, brother,” Rhys confirmed.

Cassian attempted to keep it a secret; he didn’t want to force you into anything you’re not ready for or cloud your judgement. But, Mother, he wanted to scream it from the top of Ramiel and let all of Prythian know that you’re his.

So one night, when he and Az were in Windhaven to check on Devlon, he spilled his secret over pints of ale in front of the fire at Rhys’s mother’s cottage.

“Wanna know a seeeeecret?” He slurred, lifting one finger off his glass to point at Az, squinting at the shadowsinger from across the room.

“You’re keeping a secret?” Az asked, one eyebrow raising alongside the corners of his lips. His expectations were low; most of the time, Cassian’s “secrets” were only secret to the male himself — he was usually the last to know.

But when Cassian leans forward and whispers, “Y/N’s my mate,” it takes all of Azriel’s hard-earned self control to keep his magic to himself. The bond was angry, wanted to lash out, but he forced an amused smile onto his lips and mumbled his congratulations into another sip of ale.

After that, Az tried so hard to keep his shadows under control. After all, he had only started suspecting his own bond a few weeks ago, and it’s not like he laid any claim to you, or anything, but… His magic seemed to think otherwise, and the longer he kept it contained, the harder it got to control.

And then the bond snapped while the three of you were on a mission together in the mortal lands. It didn’t snap for you, though, so they try to act normal around each other but it’s SO HARD, like their magic is butting them against each other. (It is, because they’re stupid).

Rhysand picked up on it as soon as you returned, the tension between the two of them that hadn’t been there when you left. Both men came to him with their concerns, and even though he suspected that there weren’t two separate bonds but one single thread of gold tying the three of you together, he kept quiet. He sat back, watching as their glares and muttered insults turned to heated arguments.

You were baffled at the abrupt change in their dynamic. You suspected it had something to do with a female, but that was none of your business. They’d eventually work out their differences; they were brothers, after all.

A part of you, deep down, felt burning, white-hot rage every time you thought about her, this nameless, faceless female. You bury the burn in work; whenever you’re not in the field, you pick up extra shifts with Madja, healing until you’re too exhausted to do anything but grab a sandwich from the cafe near your apartment and fall into bed. It’s the only way sleep comes without a fight.

It takes a few weeks for the pressure building between them to boil over; your shift is almost over when the two Illyrians show up, bruised and bloody. They stand in the doorway to your office, shoulders hunched and eyes downcast. Something in you snaps at the sight of them, that white-hot anger bursts into raging golden flames.

“What the fuck has gotten into you two lately?” You yell, crossing the small room in two long strides to poke a finger into each of their chests, reveling in the twin winces on their faces.

Cassian opens his mouth to speak but you glare at him to shut him up. “Actually, no, I don’t want to hear it. Whatever it is, you gotta figure that shit out because this is ridiculous.” You pause to take a deep breath before continuing. “The two of you have been so fucking annoying lately, I told Rhys not to send me back out with either of you until you pull your heads out of your asses.”

Like they were two halves of the same whole, their faces fell in unison. Warmth bloomed from your navel inwards, filling you with magic like molten caramel. The last thing you saw before you passed out were the apologies lurking behind their eyes, and then everything went black.

[marlboroenjoyer]

let me show you my thanks

so here is part two to 'cat got your tongue' i love miguel and i dunno maybe this was ooc but its my first smut fic with him be gentle. also i tried desperately to get like actually grammatically correct and normal sounding spanish from a bunch of different websites; so i really apologize in advance if it sounds disjointed or weird. im a patehtic monolingual individual :(.

summary [2.9k words] - you took an unannounced break from the spider-society after the fiasco that was your last meeting with miguel. he wants to show you just how thankful he is for you.

warnings - 18+ (if you're a minor and i see you interacting with my stuff you're getting blocked). SHARP TEETH BABY RAAAAHHHHHHHHH, inappropriate use of venom, slight degredation if you squint.. nsfw under the cut!

you were on autopilot for the next few days after your conversation? argument? with miguel. you were home in your own universe; you had shucked the gizmo off your wrist the second your feet landed in your small apartment. you didn’t even want to think about miguel let alone get contacted by the man so you shed your brain of anything involving hq. the days consisted of bouncing between your mattress and your desktop, occasionally fighting whatever enemy decided to break your peace. it was nice to fall back into your once usual routine before your discovery of the spider-society. and it was even nicer to finally have a little peace of mind. not thinking about miguel had made everything a little easier.

you weren't worried about his reactions to anything. you weren't concerned about his hair trigger temper; about whether or not something you said would set him off. there was the smallest licks of anxiety in the back of your mind as the radio silence was unnerving to a degree, you had grown accustomed to hearing lylas cheerful voice break into your mind. it was easy to shake those feelings though; spending the mostly quiet evenings catching up on shows or games you just simply hadn’t had to time for anymore. 

it had been storming all day, and you had found out after talking with other spider-people, that you had gotten quite lucky with your version of new york. the storms never pulled more trouble out of the damp dark cracks of the city, if anything it deterred them. the city life was hushed by the gray gloomy skies spitting fat raindrops at your window. you felt something ping up your spine as you were sitting at your desktop. it wasn’t the same feeling you got when you sensed some form of danger; this surge of nerves was telling you something was off today. before you could even get up from your desk chair, a large orange spiral of energy tore into your dimension; and out popped the looming man you were trying to avoid.

“you took your bracelet off.” there was an edge to his voice; something unknown on the cusp, threatening to fall out and into your lap. you didn’t dignify his statement with a response. you didn’t owe any responses to miguel. so you just stared at him in the silence of your apartment; his vivid eyes searching you for anything; and after a few more moments of silence he decided to continue talking.

“we’ve– i’ve– been trying to contact you.” another long beat. “you had duties to fulfill. you’ve been holed up in your dimension while i thought– lo que sea…”[1] his mouth snapped shut before he finished his sentence, cutting himself off before giving an exasperated sigh. his hands rubbed down his face, before revealing his eyes which were intensely trained on you. your expression gave nothing away, you were just going to stand aside and watch him fight with himself inside his head; or maybe he’d even just give up and leave. part of you hoped for the latter, but you also wanted him to finally be able to figure out how to speak to you.

“listen. i understand you were, shit probably still are, angry about how i reacted.” his words for grating against his clenched teeth and set jaw. clearly this was very difficult. “but i didn’t know how to react to the fact that you were a breath away from meeting death. i had come to terms with death a very long time ago. but i don’t know if i’d be able to get over it, if you died.” you continued to let him speak, watching him as he chewed on the words and mulled them over in his head. 

“you are so fucking annoying sometimes, but you are so lovely and you’re so soft. and i know you can hold you own but you…” you could practically see steam coming from his ears, as the cogs in his brain turned away trying his best to figure out how to express his thoughts. he stopped talking for a moment as he approached you slowly. “tenía tanto miedo que sentí ganas de vomitar.”[2] his voice was a fraction of the volume it once was. his hands gently grabbed yours.

“i’m sorry i was…more or less a dick. you didn’t deserve that, especially after you saved my skin. quería… darte las gracias por salvarme la vida.”[3] his eyes bore into your own. now you were genuinely speechless, and not just holding out due to spite. thankfully your body acted for you, reaching forward and wrapping your arms around miguel’s strong abdomen. you let your head rest against his chest and you waited for his reaction. after a few beats his arms wrapped around your frame. his head ducked down to tuck into the crook of your neck.

you whispered out a thank you, to which you felt a quick puff of air escape miguel’s nose. he couldn’t understand why you were thanking him. you pulled your arms back and over his shoulder, gently grabbing a handful of his dark hair and pulling his head back up to look at you. before he could say anything you lightly placed your lips onto his in a timid kiss. an action so tender and so soft, it managed to shatter miguel's heart and rebuild it anew. it took less than a second for miguel to kiss you back. immediately the atmosphere changed, electricity surging through the both of you as miguel deepened the kiss. his hands skated around your body, kneading the flesh underneath his fingers whenever he paused his ministrations.

your hands were still occupied with fists fulls of his hair, and you took that as an opportunity to tug on his hair as you two made out. his mouth pulled away from yours for the briefest moment; allowing himself to let out a breathy groan. his hands planted themselves firmly on your ass, squeezing hard making you yelp. as you both made out, he was backing you up into the wall; and before you even realized your back was pressed flat against the wall. his knee immediately slid between your thighs, slotting right between them as if you were made to fit against each other. 

his thigh pressed hard against your core, and you let out a stuttering gasp at the pressure. he gradually took hold of all of your senses. he was becoming overwhelming. you gently pushed against his chest, humming against his lip as his tongue continued to play with your bottom lip. he pulled his head away after a few more moments, almost irritated by the prospect of leaving your lips for more than thirty seconds.

“what’s wrong mi amor?” his voice had dropped a couple of octaves. his eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at you. “are you still hurt?” you shook your head in response. he had backed up enough to let you slip out from between him and the wall. you grabbed his hand and led him to your bedroom. the whole apartment was dark aside from the dim lamps you had lit scattered around the few rooms. you could hear the rain still colliding with the glass of your window, however that was mostly drowned out by the pounding of your heart. you swore miguel could hear it as well, which only made matters worse.

you had merely dreamed of scenarios similar to these, never once thinking they could actually become real. some section of your brain wondered if you were passed out in bed already. sure you and miguel were amicable with each other, but he was such a shut off man that you were never really able to characterize what you were to him; and vice versa.

the end of your bed came in contact with your calves, and miguel pushed you down onto it. you landed with a quite huff, while the realization of what was going to happen tonight dawned on you. miguel must’ve seen the deer in headlights look on your face, as he leaned down with his hands bracing himself on either side of your shoulders.

“i want to show you just how grateful i am for what u did for me… only if you allow me.” his face was nothing but completely genuine, giving you a way to say no to all of this if you really wanted to. you didn’t say anything in response, you merely wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him back down into a much more heated kiss. miguel groaned low in his throat at the feeling of you yanking him down. unfortunately for you though, he started pulling away, instead standing upright once more to take on his suit. with a quick shrug of his shoulders his chest was exposed, suit still sitting low on his hip. not like it was hiding anything from you. you could clearly see the line of his hard dick straining against this unstable molecular prison.

“baby, if you want this to keep going… im gonna have to hear you say it.” the corners of his mouth were tugged upwards in a sly smirk. he wanted nothing more than to hear you say how much you wanted him at this moment. fuck he felt his cock jump at the mere thought of your plush lips opening to beg for him. he watched as you opened and closed your mouth a few times, observing the way your struggled with vocalizing your thoughts.

“miguel…” your voice was a pathetic whimper, and you squeezed your thighs together to alleviate your desperation. miguel’s practically rolled back into his skull, hearing you say his name like that– his big hand gripped your knees which had been brought up to your chest, his talons threatening to spring out and dig into your soft skin.

“say it baby. i gotta hear you say it.” he edged you on, his erection now pressed firmly against your ass as encouragement.

“miguel please… i need you so bad. dreamt about this moment.” your confession felt like a swift quick to the chest, successfully ridding his lungs of any oxygen. you’d dreamt about this before. how could he hold back now.

“dios mío… siento que un día me vas a matar.”[4] his voice was a mere growl at this point, his jaw clenched as he stared down at you. “tell me, what exactly have you dreamt about?” he shifted you further up onto the mattress, giving him the opportunity to box you in with his huge frame. embarrassment was licking at your subconscious like flames, making your whole body get swelteringly hot. but there was something in miguel’s expression that egged you on. you felt like you were going to die if you didn’t tell him.

“i think about your teeth…a lot… recently i’ve found myself– ugh this is so…” you covered your face with your hands before continuing on. “i think about you biting me…again i guess… i think about your venom.” you just never ceased with rendering miguel speechless, he guessed it was just one of your many talents at this point.

you were starting to get nervous about your confession. miguel hadn’t responded yet, but before you could get too into your own head you felt his lips ghost over you neck; right across the spot he bit you the first time. your breath hitched in your throat, and you involuntarily whimpered.

“you’ve really gotta trust me if you want that. you’d give everything up to me.” you only nodded your head. you trusted him; in all honesty you think you trusted him more than almost anyone in the society. you heard him click his tongue sharply.

“what did i say earlier? if you want this i gotta hear you say it.” you felt his breath fan over your neck, as he peppered small kisses all over it and your chest. you had wrapped your legs around his waist, and he was very gently grinding down into you. gentle vibrations wracked their way through your entire body causing small gasps and whimpers to come spilling from your kiss swollen lips.

“please miguel… i surrender everything to you. i trust you.” that was all he needed to hear before he bit down into your trapezius muscle, just like before. only this time you were much more aware of the effects now. he stayed like that for a couple seconds longer, before detaching from your neck and licking away the blood from the wound. slowly but surely you felt all motor functions slip from your body. you were overcome with this euphoric dullness, you felt like you were floating. while you slowly felt all control drain from your body, miguel was making quick work of your clothes, sharp claws slicing through your shorts and shirt like it was nothing. he whispered promises of new clothes as he continued with your bra and panties.

“how are you feeling mi amor? can you speak at all?” you acknowledged miguel’s questions with a quiet moan. as much as he wanted to take his time with you, work you up before tearing everything back down; he knew he had very little patience left, and limited time to work with the venom. your metabolism was extremely fast in comparison to the usual suspects he would subject his venom to, so he had much less time to keep you in this dreamy haze. he wanted to make sure the only word you could think of was his name.

the rest of his spider suit disappeared into nothing as he positioned you. you legs had fallen from his waist a little while ago when you first started feeling the venom, so he flipped you over onto your stomach. he arms wrapped underneath your hips to hoist you up so your ass was in the air, with your back arched and chest pressed into the mattress beneath you. he knew he was going to warm you up. miguel hasn’t exactly had many partners as of late but he was aware of his size. one of his hands found its way to your pussy, his other hand bracing your hip and keeping you steady. his fingers rubbing gentle circles into your clit. hazy pleasure rolled through you, like waves lapping at the shore. long strung out moans clawed their way up your throat; spurring miguel on. his fingers had moved from your clit, moving deeper in as they breached your hole. a deep groan echoed through to room.

“christ you’re so fucking wet. such a slut, ready to give up any control.” god his dick was painfully hard now. pulsing steadily every few seconds, weeping precum and begging to be buried deep in your hot cunt. he felt your walls flutter and clench when he degraded you, and he filed that information deep into his brain. his fingers were so overwhelming through the fog that settled inside your skull. your breaths had become erratic, chest rising and falling to desperately take in air. you moans were cracking, as miguel fully rammed three fingers in and out of you.

“i hear you baby, i hear you. im gonna take care of you.” he curled his fingers in search of that one spot that would make you see stars. it didn’t take long for him to find it as your volume increased even more. 

“m-mig…” you desperately tried to form words; to warn miguel of your rapidly approaching orgasm. you were fighting against the paralysis and the overwhelming floating feeling. your pussy clenched down tight against miguel’s fingers, a sudden wetness coating most of his hand. he pumped his fingers a couple more times as he worked you through your orgasm. once your breathing settled a little he gently took his fingers out of you. he took his fingers into his mouth, grunting as your taste flooded his taste buds. 

his patience had thoroughly snapped, two iron grips digging into your hips as he lined himself up with your aching pussy. he steadily began to push himself into you, breath getting punched out of him with every inch your hot walls enveloped. once he finally bottomed out, you both needed time to catch your breath. you were so full of him and you finally felt complete. the only thing you could think about was miguel. no amount of time could have prepared you for miguel to start moving. he immediately set a brutal pace, the sounds coming out of him resembling that of an animal. 

“god you’re– holy fuck- practically strangling me. greedy pussy just sucking me in for more.” you struggled to comprehend what he was saying. miguel curled in on top of you, pressing you flush against his broad chest. one hand started rubbing hard circles into your clit, whiled the other held you firmly to him. the placement of his arm across your chest allowed him access to your nipples, something he quickly took advantage of. he tweaked and pinched the hard pebble, as he struggled to keep his eyes open. he wanted to look at your face as he caused you to come undone for a second time. your mouth had lulled open, freely drooling onto the pillow beneath your head. tears squeezed their way out of your eyes.

your bodies stuck together, the sweat clinging to your skin. miguel continued to incoherently mumble spanish to you, and you were far too blissed out to listen to anything at all. the white hot coil in the very bottom of your stomach threatening to snap. you cunt fluttered and clamped down on miguel’s dick. it only spurred him on even more, his pace punishing now as he fucked you into the mattress. a long broken scream boomed from your throat as you came, your vision going completely white despite you eyes being clenched tightly shut. your eyebrows screwed up in an expression of pure pleasure. miguel slammed down fully into you, his cock kissing your cervix as he came with a loud moan. you were already so full of his cock that there was practically no room for him cum. he watched with wide eyes and his cum spilled from your spent pussy dripping down around his cock that was still inside you.

he let you both level out before pulling out as carefully as possible. the friction still causing you to cry out in overstimulation. miguel hushed your cries by pressing light kisses all over your face and neck. his thumbs brushed away the stray tears. he finally turned you back over, carefully laying your head back down onto the pillow below you.

“can you move at all mi amor?” your headspace had still not returned to normal, seeing as how you didn’t really respond. miguel got up from the bed and quietly padded over to your kitchen. you whimpered out for him to return, not enjoying the silence of being alone in the room in this loopy headspace you’ve found yourself in. a few moments later he returned to the room, a cup of water and warm washcloth in his hands. the bed dipped underneath the weight of his body as he set the cup of water on the table for a moment and began working on getting you clean. once this was done he flung the now dirty washcloth into your hamper.

his strong arms shifted you for the last time that night, leaning you against him with your head cradled against his chest once he had gotten comfortable. with you in this position he reached over to grab the water and pressed the rim to your bottom lip, silently offering. you dipped your head back just enough to take a couple of careful sips before relaxing your head against him once again. with the rain as white noise in the background you drifted in and out of consciousness. 

“gracias, mi amor.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[1] - whatever

[2] - i was so scared that i felt like vomiting

[3] - i wanted... to thank you for saving my life

[4] - dear god... why do i get the feeling you're going to be the death of me

[supermarvel-fics]

I Remember

word count: 12,600

pairing: loki x fem!reader (one sided enemies to lovers, also strangers to lovers)

cw: mentions and depictions of violence, mild swearing, talks about amnesia, angst, hurt/comfort

summary: The reader receives a major head injury during a mission and wake up with no recollection of who anyone is. They decide that Loki would be the best person to help them regain their memory.

author's note: mostly told from loki’s pov, though there are a few switches! sorry if there’s any confusion. also sorry that it took so long!! it’s very long and not my best work, but I hope you enjoy it anyways! thank you <3

Loki wasn’t necessarily surprised when you’d moved into the tower and shied away from him. He should have expected it, really. No sane mortal would willingly be friends with the God of Mischief.

He was used to it; the raised eyebrows, the loss of eye contact, the way everyone would cease their conversation if he walked into a room. Normally, it didn’t bother him in the slightest. He was often grateful that the other Avengers and employees in the compound left him to his own devices.

But with you, it was different.

You caught his eye in a way he didn’t think was possible. He found himself watching you from afar, wondering why you were so talkative with the others, but never with him. He figured it had to do with what happened in New York, though he’d never ask you outright. You never gave him the chance to. If Loki entered a room, you’d be quick to leave it.

It wasn’t as if you hated the God. You’d never hate anyone unless you had specific reasons to.

You were distrustful of him—scared, even. Being an agent of SHIELD, there weren’t very many things you were scared of, but you had a difficult time trusting Loki due to his past. Sure, Thor says his brother has seen the error of his ways, but what’s to stop him from burning down the Avengers tower if someone makes him angry again?

You just preferred to keep a safe distance from him.

Loki wouldn’t say he was hurt by it, no. He was curious. He felt drawn to you in ways he hadn’t felt before on Midgard. He so desperately wanted to know more about you, but you never gave him that chance.

Even on missions, you were distant. You and Loki had only been on one mission together; a very simple one with the help of Nat and Bucky. You stayed close to the two of them, only speaking to Loki when it was of absolute necessity. He wasn’t needed for the majority of the operation, anyways. He figured the Director only sent him because of his magical abilities.

So, when Loki found out that he’d be sent on a mission with you alone, he didn’t know what to think.

“Director Fury, I think you should consider the possibility of sending someone else along with the young agent,” Loki spoke over the phone. “If it’s powers you’re seeking, I’m sure Wanda would be a magnificent fit.”

“There will be no replacements, Loki. I’ve made my decision. You two are needed for this specific operation. Can I trust you to get the job done?” Nick Fury asked. Loki rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Yes.”

“Excellent. You will leave in an hour,” the Director said before hanging up. Loki ran his fingers through his hair, groaning before walking out of the room. He had no idea how to work with someone who didn’t want to work with him.

The hour that was given to prepare passed by all too quickly and before he knew it, you were seated across from him on the quinjet. Dare he say it, but Loki was nervous. This was the first time the two of you had ever been alone and he didn’t know what to do or say.

He watched you intently as you looked out of the window, scanning your face for a sign that you might be angry or uncomfortable.

“Could you please stop staring at me?” You asked timidly. Loki immediately averted his eyes away from you.

“I apologize,” He replied. Loki opened the folder on his lap to read about the operation the two of you were about to partake in.

“It’s fine,” you said, close to a whisper. Your focus was kept on the sweeping images of nature as the jet took off and you headed towards your destination. It was silent for nearly 10 minutes before you spoke up again. “Why were you staring at me?”

Your voice pulled Loki out of his thoughts. He glanced back up to see that you still had your head turned sideways, watching the clouds roll by. His eyes shifted back down to his folder, not sure of exactly what to say.

“Honestly?” Loki muttered. He heard you hum in response. “I don’t think you like me very much.”

You shifted in your seat, finally swiveling your head to face him. His black hair covered his face and fiddled with the edge of the folder. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he looked anxious.

“That’s why you were looking at me?” You clarified. Loki lifted his head and his eyes met yours for the first time in a long time. They were beautiful and he found himself wishing you’d look at him more often.

“I just wanted to be sure you weren’t having second thoughts about this mission because of me,” Loki answered. You furrowed your brow at him.

“I know how to put my emotions aside to get the job done. So no, I’m not having second thoughts. Let’s just do what we were ordered to do,” You said flatly. Loki was taken aback. In the 6 months he’s known you, that was the most you’d ever spoken to him.

“As you wish,” He responded back. He kept repeating what you said to him over and over in his head, analyzing your words and tone of voice. By the sound of it, you did have a problem with him. For what reason, maybe he’d never know. He didn’t want to disturb you again.

Loki was in his head throughout the majority of the operation. Not that it mattered; it was very simple. You could have pulled it off successfully by yourself. Loki knew he was only there as a precaution.

He meandered around behind you, thinking of ways to make the ride home less awkward. Maybe he could convince you to like him by making a joke or two. No, that would be unprofessional. Though, what if being too professional and standoff-ish is what made you dislike him? Maybe he could-

“Loki, there’s a trip wire. Watch—” You whispered. Loki was shot back to reality within seconds, but his ankle had already caught the wire by the time he registered what you said. “—your step…”

Loki’s eyes widened as he looked around for a threat. You followed suit, twisting your body around in panic. It didn’t take long for 3 guards to come rounding the corner, guns at the ready. You pulled yours from the holster around your thigh and aimed at the men.

You were a God with a gun. The things you could do with them often surprised your teammates, let alone your enemies. You pulled the trigger and aimed for the closest guards thigh, hitting the femoral artery and watching as he sank to the floor, screaming in agony.

Loki rushed forward, conjuring two identical daggers into his hands and charging at the remaining men.

“Keep them busy!” You shouted at him before racing to the guard you’d shot. You swiped the rifle from his grasp and sprinted to the office where the safe was kept. Upon entering the room, you scanned it for any remaining threats, then returned to your mission.

You knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the safe would be hidden behind a painting on the wall. It was an incredibly cliché place to hide it, which is most likely why these slugs thought it would be a good idea.

You lifted the one painting off of the wall and found the safe with ease. Then, as if it were as simple as breathing, you pressed your ear to the door of it, listening to the clicks as you turned the knob to find the correct combination. After a few twists, the safe unlocked, displaying the blueprints to the new HYDRA facility.

The mission today; find the blueprints. The mission next week; detain everyone involved and destroy all of the weapons.

As you were reaching in to grab what you needed, you heard faint footsteps behind you. You gasped and turned around, coming face to face with a large man and wincing as he wrapped his hands around your throat. You sputtered and choked, reaching for your gun down in your thigh holster, but quickly started to panic when you realized you sat it on the desk before opening the safe.

The man slammed you against the wall, your head taking the blunt of the impact. You squeezed your eyes shut as he did it again, hoping that you’d pass out.

“AGENT!” You vaguely heard Loki shout. He rushed forward, placing a particularly hard blow to the man’s head with the rifle you had leaned against the wall. The enemy quickly released you as he fell faint, thudding to the floor. You followed, slamming your head against the desk before Loki could catch you.

He bolted over to your unconscious form on the floor, pressing his first two fingers to your neck, feeling for a pulse. It was there, you were alive.

“Agent. Can you hear me?” Loki asked, his voice dripping in concern. You didn’t answer and he silently cursed himself. He had to get you out of there. His eyes shifted to the open safe. He knew you’d kill him if you woke and he hadn’t grabbed the blueprints. That was the entire point of this mission.

Loki stood up and snatched everything out of the safe, swiftly concealing it with his Seidr. He swerved back to you, scooping you up and cradling you bridal style. He didn’t know the extent of your injuries, so he didn’t want to run—causing you to bounce around and make it worse. But, he didn’t want to walk, either.

He settled for a power walk, carrying you out of the building and into the car to drive you back to the quinjet. As he got you settled in the back and slid into the driver’s seat, he put the car into drive and raced down the highway.

Loki pressed a series of buttons on the console, calling the only person he thought would be able to help.

“Strange! You were a neurosurgeon years ago, were you not?” the God asked frantically as the doctor answered the phone.

“Indeed I was. What’s the issue?” Stephen asked with a sense of urgency. Loki looked over his shoulder briefly to see you still knocked out in the backseat.

“It’s the young agent. She sustained a head injury along with loss of oxygen. She’s been unconscious for several minutes and I’m not sure what to do. We haven’t a medic on the jet,” Loki explained. He pressed on the accelerator with more force, dodging other cars as he sped towards the hangar.

“The agent hasn’t woken? How long ago was this?” Strange interrogated him.

“At least seven minutes.”

The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening.

“And there’s no other doctor on the jet? Bruce didn’t accompany you?”

Loki grunted. “No! It was a milk run mission. We didn’t believe we’d need one. Strange, what do I do?”

Loki could hear clicking on the other end before Stephen answered. “There isn’t much you can do until you get her back to the compound. I’ll meet you there. Call Banner and tell him you need a stretcher. Don’t jostle her too much.”

“Understood. We’ll be there within the hour,” Loki said. He followed instructions; calling Banner and informing him of the situation. He arrived at the jet just as the call ended.

Loki swiftly and carefully picked you up, making sure your head was resting on the crook of his elbow—much like how one would hold a newborn. The next 30 minutes, Loki couldn’t tell if they were the fastest or the slowest moments of his life.

He couldn’t remember how he got from point A to point B. All he knew was that you were injured because of him. You were paying attention and he was not, causing everything to fall apart at the seams. He was sure that even if somehow you had the heart to forgive him when you woke, he would never forgive himself.

Loki watched you for every second you were on that plane. He had half a mind to run his fingers through your hair because he knew that it calmed you when you were stressed—an accidental eavesdropping with you, Wanda, and Nat told him that—but he was unsure how you’d feel about his hands all over you. So, he watched.

He watched as you laid immobile, wondering how in the Nine Realms did he become so intrigued by a mortal that it caused one simple mission to go wrong. He stared at your resting face, internally promising you, the team, and himself that he’d never make that mistake again.

And then he ogled at Strange and Banner as they rushed onto the jet with a stretcher, latching you into it and rolling you away for further inspection.

Loki darted down the steps of the jet, jogging after you in attempt to keep you company while you were being examined, but a hand stopped him in his tracks.

“Not you, Loki. You should go a fill out the report for this mission,” Bruce spoke firmly, yet kind. Loki raised his eyebrows in utter shock.

“Banner, I am the one responsible for the agent’s injury. I should be there,” the God tried to reason with Bruce, but he was having none of it.

“I know what it’s like to feel at fault for someone’s suffering, Loki, I do, but this…” Banner pointed to the medical unit, keeping his eyes locked on Loki’s. “…this is beyond you. Between you and me, Strange isn’t confident about this situation. He needs complete focus and the only way to ensure that is to make sure there isn’t someone breathing down his neck, asking him questions.”

Loki scowled, averting his gaze over to where Strange had most likely started to assess you. He knew Bruce was right, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

Loki found that he’d do anything for you if you asked and at this moment, had you been awake, you’d ask him to leave you alone. So, that he did. He softened his expression and directed his attention back to Banner.

“Call me when—” Loki stopped himself, sighing sadly, “—if she wakes.”

Bruce nodded and turned to head back to the medical unit, leaving Loki standing in the middle of the hangar all alone.

Gods, if he had been paying more attention, none of this would be happening.

Loki wandered into the compound, heading straight for Steve Rogers office. The blueprints for the new HYDRA facility appeared out of thin air, then they were slammed onto the desk.

As Loki turned to leave, Steve spoke up. “She’ll be okay, Loki.”

He didn’t bother stopping or replying; he just kept on, making his way down the quiet halls and into his room.

The first night, Loki couldn’t sleep a wink. Every time he shut his eyes, all he could see was you and the fear your face held as the guard slammed you against the brick wall. Over and over again, he replayed your head hitting the side of the desk and he cursed himself for not being quick enough to catch you before you fell.

At dawn, Loki resorted to forgetting about sleep and instead, made his way over to you. Strange had no good news about your injury. Only that time would tell.

At the sight of your comatose form, Loki almost threatened Strange to use the time stone to go back and fix this horrid mess he’d made, but again he thought of you.

“Everything happens for a reason,” Loki heard you say to Peter when didn’t do too well on his latest math test. Though he didn’t necessarily agree, Loki kept those words close because you believed in them.

He sat at your bedside for an hour, hoping that you’d wake within that timeframe. How ridiculous he must have looked, a powerful God sulking over a human who has no interest in knowing him. He had to stop himself multiple times from reaching out and grabbing your hand because he knew you wouldn’t be okay with it.

Loki wished he had the chance to ask you why you didn’t favor him. Maybe he could have fixed it. Maybe he could have shown you that he wasn’t purely evil and that he housed a bit of good in his veins. He might have even told you that you fascinate him—the way you hold yourself professionally, but also the way you’re not afraid to be yourself.

Would he ever get that chance?

It didn’t seem likely because hours turned into days and days turned into weeks. By the end of the month, Loki had begun to lose hope. He stopped visiting you after the 18th day because he couldn’t bear to look at your face without feeling the guilt weighing on him as if it were an anvil that had been dropped from the sky.

The rest of the team kept stopping by; Wanda often gossiped with you as if you could say something back. Nat and Steve told you about recent missions they’d been on, expressing how much they missed having you there with them. Even Tony stopped by to make quips and call you names to make you feel more at home if you were susceptible to hearing a word anyone was saying.

Loki just couldn’t do it anymore.

--

5 weeks after the incident, Loki received word from Banner that you had woken. He was reading in the common area when the scientist approached him and he surprised himself by how fast he concealed his book with his Seidr and ran off towards the medical bay.

Loki faintly heard Bruce yell after him, but he didn’t stop to ask what he’d said. He kept sprinting towards you, hoping that you wouldn’t spit in his face at the sight of him. All he needed to know was that you were okay mentally and physically.

Upon reaching the room you were stationed in, Loki saw Steve and Strange whispering to each other outside the door. He reached for the handle, but was stopped by a harsh grip on his forearm.

“Loki, wait,” Steve ordered. Loki snatched his arm away from Rogers and barged into your room to see you sitting up in bed and fiddling with your fingers. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling overenthusiastically.

He sauntered over towards your bed slowly to test the waters, seeing if you would yell at him to get out. He watched your face morph from surprise to confusion. You kept your gaze locked on his and Loki was almost caught off guard. You’d never looked at him for longer than a few seconds.

“Agent…” the God said softly. You cocked your head to the side, then moved it to look at Steve and Strange who had entered the room behind Loki. “How are you feeling?”

You licked your lips before turning back to Loki and shrugged. “I feel… okay. Though, I think I’d feel a little better if someone would tell me where I am, why I’m here, and who all of you are.”

Loki’s gut dropped and his knees almost buckled with it. He sharply twisted to gape at the other two men who just gave him a sympathetic look along with a hint of “I told you to wait.”

His throat went dry as he looked back at you, realizing that the reason you were holding eye contact and not shifting in your seat uncomfortably was because you had absolutely no idea who he was or what he’d done. You weren’t afraid or hateful towards him because to you, he was just a stranger.

Loki’s breathing hitched in his throat before he asked the next question. “Do you know your name?”

“Well, I didn’t 10 minutes ago, but this guy said it was Y/N,” You said, pointing to Strange.

“Can you remember anything? Anything at all?” Loki asked with sincere concern. You gazed up at the ceiling as if you were searching for the answers in your brain. Your face scrunched up and you shook your head.

“Nothing. It’s all blank. All I know is that I’m here in front of all of you and I don’t know who I am.”

Loki balled his hands into fists and for the first time in a long time, felt hot tears start to brim at his eyelids. He willed them away, though, and stormed out of the room as quickly as he could.

How could he stay when you were clueless as to how you ended up in this predicament? What would you say when someone finally told you the truth? Loki wasn’t going to sit with you and wait for the recognition to hit you out of nowhere. He wasn’t going to watch you learn to be scared of him again.

“Loki!” Strange called out to him. Loki whipped around to see the Doctor catching up to him. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, you should be!” Loki berated him. “Why didn’t you help her? Why didn’t you fix her?”

“There was nothing to be done. When you brought her in, she was technically healthy. I did 3 sets of scans and they all showed brain activity. All we had to do was wait for her to rest so that her brain could catch up,” Stephen explained. Loki’s eyes held anger, but also understanding.

“Why can’t she remember anything? She didn’t even know her own name!”

“It’s called retrograde amnesia. She cannot recall any memory from her past. In most cases it’s only temporary, so we will all have to be patient and help her remember. She’s going to need a lot of help.”

“She won’t want it from me,” Loki replied quietly. He pivoted on his heel and exited the medical unit without another word.

Days later, and Loki still hadn’t seen you or tried to make contact with you. He wanted to see the good in the situation; that you had no recollection of his prior downfalls and he could start fresh. Though, the more he thought about it, the more it felt like he was taking advantage of you.

This setback in your memory would only be beneficial to him and yes, he was the God of Mischief, but he could never do that to you. He would never trick you into being friends with him because, as Strange had said, it was likely only temporary. Once you regained your memory, the friendship would fall to pieces.

And Loki would never be able to handle that. If he got too close, he’d want to stay close.

So, once you were released from Strange’s care and free to roam around the compound, Loki would disappear once he’d spotted you. It was ironic, really. The way you treated him only 6 weeks ago was the way he was treating you, now. If you entered a room, Loki was quick to leave it.

Truth was, he couldn’t handle seeing your face knowing that you didn’t know who he was. It was sickening to him—how you’d smile at him politely, the same way you’d smile at Wanda or Nat. That smile used to be reserved for your closest friends and Loki didn’t feel like he deserved it.

As his mind started to overflow with thoughts of you, he was sure he imagined your voice as he walked through the halls to get to the common room. He heard indistinct curses and groans coming from the kitchen just as he was about to pass by.

Loki stuck his head around the corner to see you with your back turned, attempting to figure out how to use the coffee machine. He let a single breathy laugh come through his nose before starting to walk away, continuing on with what he was doing. That was until he heard the quietest sniffle come from where you were standing.

He stopped in his tracks; watching as your head hung low and your hands rested on the counter, taking in a few deep breaths to center yourself. Loki knew that most of the team had left for a mission earlier in the morning, leaving you behind along with himself and Peter. Why they thought it would be a good idea for them to leave you with a teenager who was busy studying for finals and a God who had no particular interest in talking to you, he’d never know.

Though, now that Loki thought about it, the team might have done it on purpose to force him to speak to you.

Loki let out a silent sigh and made his presence known. “Did you fill the machine with water before brewing?”

You gasped in surprised, his voice startling you a bit. You hurriedly wiped away your tears and stood up straight, facing the well-dressed God, then chuckled a bit.

“No, I didn’t. I guess that would explain why nothing is coming out correctly,” You mumbled as Loki took the pot and added water to make the coffee for you. You eyed him carefully, making mental notes to remember how to make it for next time. “Thank you, Loki.”

Loki’s head snapped over to you, spilling some water on the counter in the process. “You- uh, you remember my name?” He didn’t know whether to be terrified or excited for your answer. You half-smiled and shrugged.

“Someone, a red-headed girl with magic, showed me pictures and told me the names of everyone to try and help me remember. It didn’t work, obviously, because I can’t remember her name, but Loki is not a name you forget. It’s unique,” You said. Loki hummed and tried not to let his face show how disappointed he was as he finished setting up the machine to make the coffee. “So, do you have magic powers, too?”

Loki stuck the coffee pot under the machine and began brewing it before turning around to face you. Your head tilted a bit as you waited for his answer and Gods if that didn’t pull on his heartstrings.

“I do, yes,” Loki uttered out, close to a whisper. He internally cringed at how you called his Seidr ‘magic powers’, but chose not to correct you. “It’s different than Wanda’s, though.”

“Wanda!” You shouted, snapping your fingers. “That’s her name! Everyone, besides you and Thor, have such common names. It’s easy to forget them.”

Loki jumped at your sudden outburst, but then smiled softly. You remembered his name. Out of the dozens of agents and heroes that live here, you remembered his name. His chest swelled with warmth at the thought of you choosing to recall details about him.

“I have to agree with you. I believe Loki is much more sophisticated than Steve or Tony,” He jabbed at your fellow teammates. You snickered and nodded, moving to one of the chairs at the kitchen table. You sat and gestured your head to the seat next to you, silently asking Loki to join you. He hesitated for a moment; unsure if it was wise to start a conversation with you, but eventually obliged, sitting diagonally so that his body was facing yours. “What else do you know?”

“I know that you’re the God of Mischief, which I find hard to believe because that would make you, like, five thousand years old and—”

“Hey, now! I am only 1,058. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Loki joked.

“So, it’s true, then. You and Thor are real Gods living here on Earth and among us all are superheroes and extraterrestrial beings with super strength and magic powers…” You trailed off awaiting Loki’s answer. He nodded slowly.

“Precisely.” He stood up once he heard the coffee machine sputter signaling the end of its brew, and headed over to make you a cup. He was a millisecond away from asking how you take your coffee, but stopped himself at the last minute. He knew you wouldn’t remember.

He racked his mind for past conversations and recalled a time when you told Nat that you drink it black with one teaspoon of sugar. He poured himself one along with yours and handed it to you once he’d put the sugar in.

“Thanks,” You muttered, a blush and a small smile coming to your face. “What about me?” You asked once Loki sat back down.

“Pardon?” He cocked his head at your question.

You took a sip from your mug prior to continuing. “What about me? Where do I fall in all of this? How did I get here?”

At first, Loki was speechless. He was quite perceptive when it came to quirks and other small things that people have a habit of doing, but your life story? Loki was out of his depth. He knew the gist of it, having heard it from Steve when you joined the team and from bits and pieces when he’d overheard you talking to Wanda late at night. Maybe the gist was all you needed.

“Well, uh, I’m by no means an expert on the subject of you, so if my answer is not what you desire, then I suggest asking the young witch when she returns,” Loki declared. You bit your lip in preparation. “You are not a Goddess nor are you a being from another planet, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Hm, how unfortunate,” You teased. “I thought I’d be a bit cooler.”

Loki smirked. “You could never be as impressive as me.” Without a second thought, he waved his hand, flashing a pale green light before conjuring a dagger out of thin air. The surprise on your face almost made him laugh out loud. Loki concealed it again, then looked back at you. “But you come in a close second.”

“Now you’re just trying to sweet talk me. I’m just an ordinary human,” You rested your head on your hand, propping it up on the table. Loki’s expression faltered a bit as he heard what you said and he battled with himself internally, deciding if he should say exactly what he was thinking.

What harm could it do?

“You may be human, yes, but you are not ordinary.”

Your gaze fostered confusion, prompting Loki to continue on. “You are one of the best agents I’ve ever seen come through SHIELD. You did not have to be a super soldier or a Widow to show that you belonged here. You did it all on your own through your determination and grit.”

Your eyes glazed over as you listened to Loki speak about you. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think Loki was more than a friend—the way a faint pink color dusted his cheeks and an unwilling smile tugged on his lips ever so slightly.

“You trained the most because you believed you had to prove yourself to be worthy of the Avengers, but in reality, they had to prove themselves worthy of you.”

You leaned back in your chair, relishing in what Loki was telling you. You wondered if everyone believed this or if it was only him because as of this moment, you didn’t understand what he saw in you.

For now, you were useless as an agent. You couldn’t remember your training or how to even punch correctly, so listening to Loki sing high praises about you was close to unbelievable.

“It sounds like you’re talking about a completely different person. I don’t feel like this girl that you’re describing,” You spoke timidly. Loki’s heart constricted, then. To be here, but not fully know who you are must be extremely frustrating.

“Well, then, I’ll just have to get you up to speed,” Loki grinned, taking another sip of coffee. You followed and sighed.

“Tell me more?”

And so, he did. You and Loki kept the conversation going until the sun was high in the sky and you were starting to get confused by all of the information coming your way. Loki concurred that he bombarded you with enough facts and stories about you and the team to last you a week and decided to leave you be.

He stood up and began walking away, but you reached for his arm—your grip slipping, ending up hand in hand with the God.

“You’ll help me some more, though, right?” You asked eagerly. Loki let a genuine smile come to his face.

“Of course. Just as soon as you can remember where I’m from,” he winked and you groaned.

“No fair! You told me that hours ago! How am I supposed to remember that?” You complained with a pout. Loki chuckled and put his free hand directly on top of yours.

“Darling, you said yourself that my name is not something you can forget. If I’m so memorable, then surely you can remember where my brother and I are from.”

Loki pulled away from you, laughing silently when he heard you call him evil as he left the kitchen. He strolled into the common area to resume his original plan for the day—reading Midgardian literature until he decided he had enough—and once he sat on the couch in the empty room, he was struck with a feeling he hadn’t felt in over a century.

Loki still felt the tingling sensation from your hand when it held his and his heartrate beat a little faster than normal. He remembered your smile and how he felt his insides flutter with excitement when you held eye contact with him.

He fell for you. Hard. It was possibly the worst thing to ever happen to him because you weren’t exactly you. Loki got a taste of what it was like to have a conversation with you that wasn’t filled with disgust or short-handed comments. He got the chance to know what it was like to be on the end of your playful taunts. He got to know you in a way you’d never let him before.

But Loki knew it wouldn’t last. At some point, you would regain all of your previous memories and likely forget about the conversation the two of you had today, meaning everything would go back to normal. Everything except his will to stop loving you.

Loki exasperated a long sigh and summoned his copy of Romeo and Juliet—hoping that reading about two star-crossed lovers would help him see the error of his ways.

It clearly didn’t because the next day, Loki found himself with you again. Although, it wasn’t his fault. You were the one to seek him out.

“Asgard!” You yelled as you jumped on the couch next to him. Loki was startled not only by the volume of your voice, but also at your willingness to sit this close to him. “You’re from Asgard, but you were born somewhere else. I can’t remember that one, but I remember Asgard!”

Loki shut his book and made it disappear, adoring the look on your face when he did. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of it.

“That I was,” Loki smiled, then narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you sure you remembered or did you ask my brother for the answer?”

You held your hands up in defense. “It was all me, I swear! I was up half the night trying to remember. You can see the bags under my eyes, see?” You stuck your face out to be closer to him and pointed to the dark circles.

“You should be sleeping, agent,” Loki voiced with concern. You waved your hands in the air as if you were dismissing him.

“I slept for a month, Loki. I think I’m pretty well-rested. Besides, you told me you would help me try and recall things about my past if I remembered, so it’s time to hold up your end of the bargain,” You said, playfully pushing him on the shoulder. Loki internally cringed at how comfortable you were with him. The old you would never sit this close to him or have the gall to touch him.

However, Loki did say he would help you. He half-smiled and turned to face you head on, tucking one leg under the other.

“Anything you want to know, it’s yours. If I know about it, I’ll tell you,” Loki stated. You tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear and hummed.

“Do you know what my favorite food is?” You questioned him. Loki let out a snicker and shook his head in disbelief.

“Of all the information in the world, that’s the question you choose to ask?” He raised a brow and you smiled.

“What? I’m hungry! Do you know or not?”

Loki fell silent for a moment, almost embarrassed that yes, he did know what your favorite food was even though you hadn’t told him. You ate it almost every time you got back from a mission.

“You’re going to think I’m crazy… or rather yourself,” Loki said. You widened your eyes a little more to gesture that you wanted to know. “It’s a peanut butter and banana sandwich on a toasted English muffin.”

Your face scrunched up at the thought of it, wondering how that was your favorite food of all things. “Are you messing with me? Are you just trying to make me believe that so you have me eat something disgusting?”

“I may be the God of Lies, but that truly is your favorite food. You would eat one at least 5 times a week. Ask anyone in this building if you do not believe me,” Loki announced with sincerity. Your face held its disgusted expression.

“Have you ever had one?” You asked. Loki looked at you wide-eyed and scoffed.

“Of course not! It sounds terrible and I always asked myself why you would eat such a revolting snack,” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back to rest against the arm of the couch. You huffed and shot up from your seat, holding your hand out in front of him.

“Come on, then,” You uttered out. Loki glanced at the hand in front of his face, then let his eyes meet yours.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said I was hungry and you have so kindly told me what my favorite food was. I’m still not sure I fully believe you, so I want us to try it together.”

Loki was still shaken by the hand in his face that he knew you wanted him to grab. His breathing started to become shallow and again, his heartbeat picked up. If he waited any longer, you might think he didn’t want to hold your hand. Gods, of course he did. He wanted to more than anything, but it wouldn’t be wise.

It would only pull him deeper into the hole.

Loki must have taken too long because you became impatient. Though, instead of walking away by yourself, you grabbed ahold of his upper arm and attempted to pull him out of his seat. Had he been prepared, he could have resisted, but the unexpected tug on his arm jerked him forward.

“Let’s go! If I have to eat it, so do you!” You shouted. Loki let you pull him into a standing position, but quickly recrossed his arms.

“I do not! It’s your favorite food, not mine,” He detested. You mimicked his position, but sported a look of sadness.

“But I want to share it with you. If it’s really my favorite, then don’t you want to know if it’s good?” You asked, letting your eyes glisten and blinking more times than needed. He quickly realized that you were using the ever so familiar ‘puppy dog face’.

Loki couldn’t help but chuckle at your attempt to persuade him. He took a good, long look at your face; going over every detail that made him want to reach out and kiss you. Then, he started belly laughing because your attempt had worked. Loki would do anything for you even if you hadn’t looked at him that way.

How absurd is that?

“Fine, I’ll have a taste of this Midgardian sustenance, but you owe me,” Loki pointed at you and your features morphed into an expression of excitement. You kept your grip on his arm and began dragging him towards the kitchen, forcing him to indulge it along with you.

Admittedly, Loki didn’t hate it. He’d never say that outright—only to make you believe that your favorite food was rubbish—but he could definitely see himself slipping into the kitchen late at night to make himself another if for no reason other than it was your favorite.

Again, the two of you sat there, talking for hours about anything and everything. For a moment, Loki wondered why you would only come to him when you wanted someone to help you regain your memory. He was puzzled as to why you didn’t run to Wanda or Nat, two of your very best friends.

But Loki found that he didn’t actually mind. He adored spending time with you. Sure, he’d regret it when your amnesia dissipated and you recalled exactly why you despised him, but that was a problem for future Loki. For now, he was going to appreciate your time and attention.

For days, it went on like this. You would seek Loki out whenever you were bored and wanted someone to talk to. Even when you didn’t want to talk about past memories and only cared for a lighthearted conversation, you’d choose him.

Loki liked to believe it was because you fancied being close to him. You could have chosen anyone in this compound to help you get through such a difficult time, yet here you were, asking Loki to tell you stories of the most dangerous missions you’d been on.

It opened Loki’s eyes, honestly, to see just how perceptive he was towards you even when you ignored him. He knew a lot more about you than he thought he did. The old you might have thought it was creepy, but the you now believed it was endearing how much Loki knew about your life.

However, when the weekend had come and gone, and you didn’t knock on his door or sit next to him when he was reading in the common area, Loki knew something was wrong. You would look to find him at least once a day since that time he made you coffee. It had become an integral part of his routine even if he didn’t expect it.

Monday rolled around and Loki hadn’t seen you for the past couple of days. On Saturday, he thought that you might just wanted a day to relax. A day where you didn’t have to think too much since you’d been trying so hard to regain your memory. So, he left you to your own devices.

Then, on Sunday, Loki believed you might have taken to talking to your other teammates. He’d never have a problem with that, of course, but upon talking to Wanda, Nat, and even the young spider-boy, they all said the same thing; that they hadn’t seen you around.

No matter, Loki thought. You might have needed some time to yourself. You had been with him every day for the past week, after all.

Loki never had to seek you out because you always beat him to it, so when that third day came and he still hadn’t seen you, a slight panic rose from within him. All of the terrible ‘what if’s’ came to the forefront of his mind and he wasn’t able to sit still through his breakfast.

Once more, Loki asked the others if they’d seen you around to which they all responded with no. That brought out the anger in him. Hadn’t anyone been curious as to where you’d gone? Why hadn’t they checked on you?

Loki raced down the halls towards your room, wanting to bust through the door the second he arrived. He refrained, knowing it might infringe on your privacy if you really were just relaxing in your room. He knocked on it frantically, instead, refusing to cease until the door opened with your face behind it.

It took close to 10 seconds before Loki could breathe again—seeing your form, brows furrowed and hair astray.

“Oh, thank Odin,” Loki sucked in a breath and held a hand to his chest. You opened the door a bit more to get a better look at the frazzled God.

“Loki? What’s wrong?” You questioned him groggily. He could tell you had been sleeping prior to answering the door.

“May I come in?” Loki requested. “Please?”

You swung the door open more so that he could walk through. Loki took a few strides to pass you, then swiveled around just as you shut the door.

“Where have you been?” He asked desperately. You let your gaze fall to the floor.

You shrugged. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because I haven’t seen you in a couple of days. It was odd,” Loki tilted his head to try and get a better look at you. You crossed your arms over your chest, leaning your back against the door frame.

“Am I not allowed to have a few days to myself?” You jested back. Loki raised a brow at the tone of your voice. It wasn’t like it had been the last week. It sounded a lot like the way you used to talk to him.

Suddenly, Loki’s throat got tight. Had you regained your memory? It made sense; why you hadn’t been talking to him.

“O-of course you are… but I—”

“Listen, Loki. I’m an adult. I may not remember a lot of things, but I don’t need a babysitter. I’m free to do whatever I please,” You spoke harshly. Though your tone was stern, Loki released the breath he’d been holding. It was selfish of him to be thankful that you still had this debilitating injury, he knew, but he wasn’t ready to lose you, yet. He would never be ready.

“Darling, I’m well aware you don’t need someone to watch over you. I was only asking because we’ve spent the last week together and then suddenly, you disappeared without a word,” Loki spoke delicately. “What happened?”

“None of your damn business!” You shouted. Getting to know you had been eye opening. So eye opening, in fact, that he knew you’d never speak to him that way unless there was something terribly wrong.

“Look at me,” Loki ordered softly. He took a few more steps forward, knowing you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere as you were already backed against the wall. “I only want to help you. All you have to do is let me.”

You hesitated at first. Loki’s tall form towered over you and it seemed like you were an ant under a microscope. You flinched when his hand touched your jaw, but looked up at him when he tilted your head.

“There you are,” He said. “Just tell me what’s wrong, darling. I’m here to listen.”

At the sound of his voice, you couldn’t stop the white, hot tears that spilled down your cheeks. You let out a mangled sob as you leaned your head onto Loki’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to let you know that he was there for you.

“I-I just wanted to d-do something for myself,” You stammered out through cries.

“What do you mean?” Loki released his hold on you, pushing you back to gaze at you again. He wiped a few tears off your face, then continued running his thumb across your cheekbone.

“Ever since I lost my memory, everyone has been doing things for me. You make me coffee and Wanda opens doors for me. Hell, even Tony got Friday to assist with ‘anything I was struggling with’. I just wanted to do something myself,” You ranted. Loki listened, not daring to interrupt until he knew for sure you were finished.

“So, I went out because I have been stuck in this godforsaken building for a week. I wanted to get some fresh air and eat fast food and just have a moment to myself. And I did! I did all the things I wanted to without someone looking over my shoulder.”

You felt the need to pace, so you stepped away from Loki, letting yourself wander around your room. Loki still didn’t speak; he watched intently and quietly listened.

“But then, after a couple of hours, I started to miss you. So, I finished what I was doing and began to come back, but I realized that I had no memory or recollection of what the compound looked like or where it was. Therefore, I got lost and I wasn’t able to call anyone to help me because I left my phone here in case someone tried to track me or something.”

Loki’s heart hurt for you as you informed him of your misadventure. He wanted to hold you—pull you close and tell you that everything would be alright. He didn’t, though. He let you finish, standing there silently with a sympathetic expression on his face.

“I wandered around like a lost puppy for hours until I gave up and asked some teenage girl where the compound was. And when I got back, I was too embarrassed to see anyone, so I just stayed in here all day.”

You finally halted your pacing, plopping down onto your bed, shoulders sinking in on themselves.

“All I wanted was to do something myself and I couldn’t do it,” You cried. Loki rushed over, seating himself beside you and wrapping you up in his arms. Your head rested on his chest as you clutched onto his shirt, sobbing into it. “When am I going to be normal again?”

Loki allowed himself to grimace since you couldn’t view his face. He wouldn’t tell you that he wished that day would never come. It was incredibly self-centered and only benefitted him in the long run. He sighed, running his fingers through your hair and resting his head on top of yours.

“You are normal, darling. You’re still you, just without a few bits and pieces,” Loki comforted you. You scoffed, then sniffled.

“I need those pieces to be the real me again. I want to be able to fight like the agent I was trained to be. I want to walk from my room to the library without getting lost.”

“I assure you that you are still capable of your combat skills. All you need is a refresher course. And let’s be honest, I don’t think you could find your way to the library even before you had your injury,” Loki grinned, making an attempt at a joke. It seemed to have worked because you let out a breathy laugh through your nose as you looked up at him with a playful scowl on your face.

“Not funny,” You said flatly. Loki moved his hand from your head to rest on the small of your back, glancing down to make eye contact with you.

“On the contrary; I believe I heard you laugh. That makes it funny,” Loki smirked. You rolled your eyes, exaggerating it so Loki would know you were only kidding, then laid your head back onto his shoulder.

“I’m just saying that I hope I’m not like this forever, you know?” You let out a large exhale. Loki began rubbing his hand up and down your back, allowing you to melt into his touch.

“Yes, I know. Strange said it was likely temporary. You’ll be back to knowing how to use the laundry machine no time.”

“Still not funny,” You deadpanned. Loki just hummed, but you could definitely feel the smirk growing on his face. The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s company. Loki’s hand was still rubbing your back, but as he relaxed, his touch lightened a bit.

It was bearable for the first few seconds—the pressure sending shivers down your spine—however, the longer it went on, the more you had to fight not to flinch away from him. It was incredibly ticklish and you had forgotten that you even had that sensitivity.

Loki knew exactly what he was doing to you, hoping to soften the mood with a little mayhem.

You held your breath as Loki’s fingers brushed against the backs of your ribs, then let it out once he moved away. You willed yourself not to react because the touch was not unwelcome, but when he let his nails drag a little too close to the side of your ribs where they met your underarm, you couldn’t help but ball your hands into fists and let out a small giggle.

“I thought you said I wasn’t funny, agent,” Loki whispered dangerously close to your ear. He kept his hand moving around your back, keeping the weight feather-light.

You squirmed into his hand, gritting your teeth. “You’re not.”

“Then, why are you laughing?” He asked prior to gently fluttering his fingers at the small of your back. You grimaced and giggled again, this time arching away from him.

“I thihink you know why,” You reached behind yourself to grab Loki’s hand and pull it away from you, but he’d already been one step ahead of you. His free hand shot over to knead at the side closest to him, causing you to crumple over. “AH! Lokihihi!”

“I didn’t even know you were ticklish. How extraordinary!” Loki continued pinching at your side with his right hand, then began wiggling his fingers at your ribs with the other, keeping you pinned into his embrace.

“I-hi didn’t knohohow either,” You squirmed at the different ticklish sensations on your abdomen. “I dohohon’t even know where I’m tihicklish.”

Loki’s troublesome grin took over his entire face as he pushed you onto your back, grappling for your legs to twist them sideways so that you could lay across the bed. In a flash he was on top of you, straddling your hips.

“Well, then think about how much fun we’re going to have figuring it out together, hm?” He spoke with faux sincerity. Your eyes widened and you bit your bottom lip. You had no recollection of exactly how ticklish you were nor could you pinpoint where. It was all a mystery to you, just as it was to him.

You weren’t even sure that you enjoyed the feeling of being tickled, but you did know that you liked being close to the devilishly handsome God.

“W-wait, this isn’t… it’s not fair! I don’t even know how to protect myself!” You protested lightheartedly. Loki chuckled evilly.

“That is exactly what makes this all the more fun,” he said, scratching at your belly with precise intent. “And if you recall the other night when you forced me to indulge in your god-awful food, I did say that you owe me.”

“Ahaha! Why shohould I owe you thihihis?” You grabbed at his wrists, but made no moves to push him away. Loki ceased tickling you for a moment, bringing his face closer to yours.

“Do you remember who I am, darling?” He interrogated you. You blinked and gazed into his eyes.

“Uh, y-you’re Loki? Is this a trick question?”

“I am Loki, yes, but what is my title?” He tapped his index fingers on your lower ribs, making you aware that he could attack at any moment. Your heartrate quickened as you racked your brain.

“You’re the, uh, the God of M-Mischief?” You stammered. Loki nodded and sat back upright.

“Exactly. And this is mischief!” He pointed to your stomach and began squeezing your sides with rapid precision.

“No, noho! LoHOHOKI WAHAHAIT!” You shrieked, spilling out boisterous laughter. Your legs pounded on the mattress behind him and your grip on his wrists tightened. It was insufferable; the way his nimble fingers poked and prodded at your skin through your shirt.

“This is just delightful,” Loki voiced as you laughed. He slid his hands higher, scratching at your ribs and relishing in the loud squeal you made. “Now, which is worse? This or this?” He switched between gently fluttering his fingers and kneading at the spaces between the bones, making you writhe under his touch. “I think I found my answer.”

“Youhou’re the woHOHORST! NAHAHA!” You howled. Loki had pulled his hands down to dig at your hip bones. It was unfortunate, this predicament you were in, because he was much stronger than you. Even when you could remember how to fight back, you were sure he could still get the upper hand.

“Ohoho! What do we have here? Is this your weak spot?” Loki chuckled.

You growled, but it was terribly nonthreatening since you were cackling so hard. “I-HIHI … I DOHON’T KNOHOHOW! I HAHAVE AMNESIAHAHA!”

Loki laughed along with you, stopping his attack to let you have a reprieve. He looked down at you with a genuine smile, watching as you caught your breath.

“Don’t worry, we’re going to find it. I’ll even go easy on you and make it quick,” the God said. In a flash, he grabbed your wrists and pinned them to the bed with one of his hands, immediately beginning to spider his fingers under your arm.

You made an effort to arch away from him, but whichever way you went, his hand followed. “Pl-plehehease, Lokihihi!”

“Please what? Find your tickle spot? That’s exactly what we’re doing. It’s not this one, but I do indeed love the way you laugh when I tickle you here,” Loki taunted with a dig at the very center of your armpit. You screeched and fell back into giggles. “Hm…” He released your wrists in favor of scooting down farther on your legs to sit on your shins. “What about here?”

Loki squeezed the muscle directly above your kneecap and you shouted in surprise at how utterly ticklish it was. Loki didn’t seem too impressed with your laughter, so he kept pinching his way up. The higher he got, the more frantic you became; bucking underneath him and moving your hands to keep him from tickling your hips again.

“Unless your feet are deathly ticklish, I think I might have been right,” Loki winked at you before turning his body around to face your feet. You gasped as his nails scratched at your arches, then fell into thunderous laughter, doing your best to tug your legs from under him.

“NONONOHO! NOHOHOT THERE. STAHAHAP!”

Tears of mirth streamed down your cheeks as Loki finished his assault on your feet. He hopped off of you and sat cross-legged next to you on the bed, waiting patiently for you to catch your breath.

“Alright there, darling?” He smirked down at you. You glared at him with menacing intent, but it was hard to believe with a grin still plastered on your face.

“Yes, I’m fine, all things considered,” You sat upright, facing Loki straight on. He kept his eyes locked on you as you adjusted your clothes and fixed your hair. Then, you glanced at him and instantly felt heat creep up your neck.

Being tickled by the God of Mischief was flustering within itself, but being looked at as if you held the sun in your eyes—that was a different kind of flustering feeling. Had Loki always looked at you that way?

You averted your gaze to the mattress and cleared your throat before speaking. “Loki, have you ever been in love?”

A panicked look rose to his face once he registered what you asked. Luckily, you couldn’t see it while you were fiddling with your fingers in your lap. He quickly put on a façade, shaking his head to rid himself of the possible implications of your question.

“A few times, yes.”

“What does it feel like? I can’t remember,” You allowed yourself to lift your head, peering into his blue-green eyes. Loki licked his lips and for the briefest moment, you thought about kissing him.

“Well, I believe it’s different for everyone. Some feel it in their heart, others in their gut. Why do you ask?” Loki raised an eyebrow as he noticed a blush rise on your cheeks. You shifted your position, moving to sit on directly beside him so that your shoulders were touching.

“Because every time I see you, it feels like my chest is on fire,” You tilted your head to peek up at him, “and correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you feel the same way.”

Bravery coursed through your blood as you touched his jaw with your left hand, pulling his face down to meet yours so that your lips melted together. You let out a pleased hum just before Loki gripped the hand resting on his cheek and drew back from you. He pressed his lips together and let out a deep sigh.

You let a disappointed expression cross your face. “I’m wrong.”

“No,” Loki replied firmly. “Far from it. You are absolutely right.”

“Then, why won’t you kiss me?” Your voice broke at the end of your question. Loki shook his head, squeezing your hand as tight as he could without putting you in any discomfort.

“Because it would be taking advantage of you, of your trust.”

“Loki, I’m a consenting adult. Just because I don’t remember where I was born doesn’t mean that I lose the ability to choose who I love.”

“Agent, you don’t love me. You think you do at this moment, but you—” Loki argued. He released your hand from his grasp and ran his fingers through his hair. “Has anyone told you how you received this injury?”

You opened your mouth to tell him off; how dare he tell you what you do or don’t feel for him. However, the tone with which he spoke was desperate and any angered words died on your tongue.

“No, uh, I asked Doctor Strange, but he told me that I should ask you. Then, when you came up to me that night in the kitchen, I decided not to because I assumed you would tell me when you were ready,” You spoke with delicacy. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Loki had to tell you the truth.

“The day you moved into the tower, you caught my eye. You were beautiful, yes, but there was an essence about you that no one else in this building had. Everything about you drew me in. I was like a moth to a flame, but for some reason, you wanted nothing to do with me.”

You furrowed your brows as Loki continued on.

“To this day, I’m still not sure as to why you disliked me so much. I assume it had to do with my past transgressions against the Avengers, but I never asked because you never gave me the chance to. You’d only speak to me when necessary.”

“That doesn’t sound like me,” You whispered. “I’ve loved getting to know you.”

Loki chuckled sadly. “That’s because when you woke with no memory, you had no preconceived notions of what I’d done to this city. You got to know me without that piece of information weighing on our relationship.”

Your heart constricted at the tone in Loki’s voice. You hurt him without knowing and that was something you weren’t able to take back.

“So, a little over a month ago, we were assigned to a mission together—just the two of us. I requested that someone else be sent alongside you, but the Director wasn’t budging. I was nervous—which is a bit embarrassing to be admitting aloud—because you were so stern and had an angry demeanor when you boarded the jet.

“We had a very awkward conversation about your resentment towards me, so once we got to the location of the operation, I was off in my own world trying to come up with a way to get you to open up more around me.”

“That was nice of you,” You spoke up. Loki held up his hand, silently telling you to wait.

“I became so distracted that I hit a trip-wire, causing the entire mission to go completely out of control. We were ambushed and the enemy snuck up behind you and slammed you against a wall repeatedly. I did eventually knock the guard unconscious, but when he fell, so did you. You hit your head on a desk before I could catch you.”

Somewhere in his confession, your hand found his again, your fingers laced together. Loki kept his gaze trained on your interlocked grip because he couldn’t bear to look you in the face.

“You lost your memory due to an error that I made.”

“Loki…” You uttered. “I don’t remember that day, so I can’t tell you my side of the story, but I know that from hearing yours—even though you made a mistake—you did what you did out of love. And if the old me had known that, she’d be wondering why she never gave you a chance,” You leaned your head onto Loki’s shoulder and willed him to believe you. “I forgive you.”

Loki outwardly winced, shrugging you off of him so he was able to stand up. He turned to you with fire in his eyes, but not an angry fire—a passionate one.

“I am not telling you this to ask for your forgiveness, agent. I’m simply explaining why you shouldn’t trust me. The person that’s sitting here in front of me is not the same one who despised me just a few short weeks ago! At some point, your memory will come back and I refuse to be smitten with someone who won’t feel the same.”

You noticeably flinched when Loki raised his voice, a tear escaping from your lids. You didn’t have a reasonable argument because he was right; it would be selfish to ask him to be with you when tomorrow you could wake up with a hatred for him. You’d never want to put him through that sort of misery on purpose.

You wiped your tears and nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

Loki held his hand out in front of you and you wasted no time in grabbing it so he could pull you to stand up. His eyes burned into yours, hoping to tell you wordlessly how much you truly meant to him. As he let his head droop to rest his forehead against yours, he spoke up again.

“I hope you know that there is nothing within the Nine Realms that I would not do for you if you asked. You just have to ask when your memory returns because that is the real you.”

Loki placed a gentle kiss onto the top of your head before stepping away from you and heading out of your bedroom. The door clicked shut and if Loki was one for dramatics, he might have cried, but he kept moving—away from your room, away from you.

How could he let a mortal overtake his emotions like that? How could he be so ignorant; dismissing his gut feeling telling him not to get too close? Loki thought Thor had gone off the deep end when he fell in love with Jane Foster. Maybe Loki had gone off the deep end, too.

Loki let 3 days pass by without contacting you in anyway. You seemed to be doing the same considering when you saw him in passing, you half-smiled and scurried out of the room or brought your attention back to what you’d been previously doing.

Loki wouldn’t lie and say his heart didn’t ache. Months ago, when you’d first moved in, you turning a blind eye to the God didn’t hurt his feelings. It merely confused him. Now, as he’d gotten to know you in a way you’d never let him before, the feeling of watching you slip through his fingers was intolerable.

Two more days had gone by when Loki heard a loud knock on his door. In the year he’d been living at the compound, no one ever dared to disturb him while his door was shut. If Loki was open to conversation, he’d leave the door open slightly. The only ones to had the nerve to knock were you and his brother.

The God snapped his book shut and sighed, trudging over to the entryway. He swung the door open, revealing you with wide eyes.

“Oh, uh, I-I didn’t think you’d answer. Hi,” You said hurriedly. Loki scrunched his eyebrows together.

“Hello,” He drawled out. “Is there something wrong?”

You shook your head. “Jotunheim.”

“Pardon?”

“You were born on Jotunheim. Raised on Asgard. Your last name is Laufeyson,” You shot past Loki, entering his room without an invitation. He shut the door as his head followed your path to the center of the room.

“…Yes,” Loki added. You stared at him, waiting for the recognition to hit him, but it never did. You groaned and slapped your hand to your forehead.

“I was an intern at SHIELD back in 2012 when you attacked New York City. I’d dreamt of being an Avenger so that I could defeat villains like you. Years later, and here we are. My dream came to be, but you were here, too, and I thought how gullible everyone must be to allow you a place on the team. I couldn’t trust you no matter how much you wanted me to. Then, you saved my life, and I recently found out that you did it because you cared for me and not because I would have been a liability. And, damn it, Loki! You didn’t tell me any of that. I remembered it!”

Time stopped. The earth ceased its rotation. Lungs screamed for air because Loki had been holding his breath. Before he could say anything, you carried on.

“I kept a safe distance from you because I was afraid that if someone pissed you off or rubbed you the wrong way, that you’d blow this building to bits. I realized that I was incredibly wrong and had I just given you a chance to be yourself and open up, we wouldn’t have been in this predicament. You believe my injury was your fault, but in reality, it was my own.”

“Agent, I—”

“You aren’t an evil man. I can see that. I can see you clear as day. Your smile lights up a room and the way you look at me makes me feel like a schoolgirl with a debilitating crush,” You blushed as you stepped forward, leaving only inches between you. You reached out, grabbing his hands and pulling them to your chest. “That night in my room… you said that anything I wanted, you’d give to me as long as I had my memory.”

Loki gulped and nodded.

“Then, kiss me, you idiot,” You wailed. Loki didn’t have to be told twice. He surged forward, capturing your lips with his. It was different than the first time. Nights ago, the kiss was good, but it felt empty; like a void that could never be filled. This time, it became whole because Loki was Loki and you were finally you.

You let go of his hands in favor of wrapping your arms around his neck, smiling into the fervent kiss when his hands grabbed your waist. You drew back when you began to feel drunk on the taste of his lips, locking your eyes onto his.

It was the first time you truly saw him.

“Having you here, especially after remembering my past, means everything to me. You precious thing,” Loki sifted his fingers through your hair, grinning down at you. You gave him a quick peck and slid your hands down to rest on his brawny chest.

“I’m sorry for making you feel isolated. What I did was unfair to you and—”

Loki shushed you by pressing his forefinger to your lips. “Ah-ah. I don’t want to hear it. What’s done is done. All that matters is that you regained your memory and you’re still with me.”

“I’ll always be with you, Loki.”

“Foolish girl,” He playfully growled, bending down to press his lips ticklishly to your neck. You squealed and giggled, shrugging your shoulder up to block him out. He paused his attack to glance back at you. “Wait, when did you get your memories back?”

You pressed your lips together in a tight smile. “The morning after our first kiss…”

Loki blinked and the expression on his face fell from confusion to straight-up mischief. “You recalled all of that information 4 days ago and didn’t come to me immediately? Even after you could see how utterly distraught I was?”

You recognized the look on his face and removed yourself from him, backing away slowly.

“W-wait! I had a reason. I can explain-AH!” You yelled as Loki made a grab for you, but you expertly jumped out of the way. “I would advise against what I know you’re thinking. I recall all of my combat training and can kick your ass!”

“You say that as if you would even want to get away. Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy this the other night, love,” Loki smirked. He shot his arm out to seize you and when you tilted sideways to avoid him, his free arm caught you and spun you around so that your back was against his front. “Besides, you deserve this for prolonging my suffering.”

“Noho, I dohon’t! I HA-had a reheheason!” You giggled as Loki wasted no time in digging into your belly. You made an attempt to crumple over, but the arm around your waist was in the way. “Lokihihi!”

He slid his hand up and found purchase under your arm, which tightly clamped down to your sides. You immediately fell into cackling laughter, reminding him of one of your weak spots. He obviously wasn’t able to get to your worst one due to both of your feet being planted on the floor, but he’d surely settle for second place.

Snatching his hand out from under your arm, he went in for the kill—wiggling his fingers into the divots of your hips.

“NAHAHA! LEHEHET ME EXPLAHAHAIN! PLEHEASE!” You begged. Loki scratched for a few seconds more before relenting, chuckling quietly when you bent over to catch your breath.

“Well? I’m waiting…” He taunted. You shot up straight, turning around to give him a playful glare, though it was hard to take you seriously with an unwilling smile on your face.

Once you had calmed down, you sat on Loki’s bed with him following your lead.

“I waited so long to come and see you because I had to make sure that I still felt the same way I did the night prior. I didn’t want to toy with your feelings if my heart wasn’t truly in it,” You confessed. Loki placed a hand on your knee, rubbing it comfortingly. “And if it makes you feel any better, those 4 days were unbearable for me, too.”

Loki hummed. “What made you decide to tell me today?”

You twisted your head to peer at him, your heart racing when you did. “I honestly just couldn’t go another day with being yours.”

You kissed him sweetly, enjoying every bit of it and savoring it as if it were to be your last. For the rest of time, that’s how you planned on kissing him because if there’s one thing Loki wouldn’t let you forget, it was how much he loved having your lips on his.

[a-crumb-of-whump]

Here's a prompt for anb: wiping away tears

you can use any characrer

Masterlist

This was a punch in the gut to write but here u go

Content: Whumpee-turned-caretaker, vampire whumpee, [implied] touch starvation, [mentioned] past minor whump, conditioned whumpee, fear of abandonment.

-

“I’m leaving.” 

Carlos frowned, tilting and lowering his head to try and maintain eye contact with Ryker as he hunched over with his hands balled into fists in his lap. He looked so ashamed. So scared. Carlos couldn’t understand why. 

“That’s a good thing, sir, isn’t it?” he asked quietly. The human nodded, but there was a moment’s hesitation there that he almost hadn’t noticed, had it not been for his ability to observe. “Why do you look so sad?” 

He realised, as Ryker finally found it in him to show his face, that he was struggling to keep himself together. His bottom lip trembled and his jaw was clenched so hard that Carlos could tell it was painful. 

“I don’t want you to- to think that I’m abandoning you,” he finally managed. “I wish I could take you with me. I would do anything. I mean - fuck, Carlos, I’ve offered them more money than I can physically give them right now. I exhausted myself trying to think of ways to take you that doesn’t involve going to fucking court, but there’s nothing else. I can’t…” 

Carlos shuffled forward a bit, tentatively reaching out to take Ryker’s hand into his own. He remembered the amount of times the human had done it for him over the years, and how fuzzy it made him feel. It was all he could think of at the time, but Ryker seemed to appreciate it.

 “I’m not mad,” he assured him, though it puzzled him that a human of all beings was frightened of him getting upset. He wasn’t sure he could anymore. He certainly didn’t want to try. “I’m glad that you’ve found a way to leave safely. That is all that matters to me, sir. That said, I will miss you very much.”

There was a small sniffle, and when Ryker finally looked up again he had tears dripping down his saddened face. That broke his heart far more than anything else. He didn’t deserve to feel sad. Ever. 

Slipping his sleeve over his free hand, Carlos lifted his bony arm up to dry the tears. “You have no reason to be sad, sir. I’ll always be here.” 

He couldn’t deny the small part of him that panicked on the inside, no matter how hard he tried to. Ryker was an important person to him, and not even because he owned him. He didn’t. He was just a nice person, and that meant the world to Carlos. 

Now he would be going back to having no one but his owners again. The thought scared him, even if he didn’t care to admit it. 

“Will you come back and visit me?” the vampire asked quietly as Ryker pressed his forehead into his chest for a moment. He lifted his bruised hand up to rest it on the back of the human’s head, ignoring the way his heart immediately warmed at the physical contact. “Please? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I would be extremely grateful if you did.”

Ryker didn’t hesitate, though his voice shook as the words left his mouth. “‘course I will. I’m so sorry, Carlos.” 

Again, Carlos felt confused. “What for?” he whispered against the human’s hair. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m glad for you. You finally get to be happy.” He barely managed a small smile. For so long, he’d watched this kid struggle to escape his parents’ grasp. Now that he was finally succeeding, Carlos couldn’t not be excited for him. 

Even if that meant getting left behind. 

He worried even more when Ryker’s tears only seemed to increase at his words. Was he making him sad? He never knew what to say in these situations… perhaps he was getting it wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time, and he doubted that it would be the last. 

However, he realised after some time that it wasn’t him. If it was, he wouldn’t be moving closer to be better situated in the vampire’s arms. He wouldn’t be gripping at his hoodie and asking him to be held, like he had so many times as a child. 

Carlos hadn’t cried in years. Not during torture or punishments, not over lost pets or the movies Ryker showed him on his laptop. 

Yet as he held Ryker against his chest for the last time in what he feared would be for a while, he could feel the tears starting to escape against his will. He buried his face against the boy’s shoulder and tightened his grip as much as he could. 

This was a feeling he could easily identify. A feeling he'd felt many times throughout his life.

He was scared. 

-

Taglist: @alexkolax @choppedflowermuffinchild @emcscared-whumps @espresso-depresso-system @inkkswhumpandstuff @pigeonwhumps @pumpkin-spice-whump @roblingoblin285 @sacredwrath @some-thrilling-heroics @stabby-nunchucks @thekittyburger @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @trans-writes @whump-blog @whumpsday @whumpshaped  @whump-things @whumpycries @whumpdreamz @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question

[itcanbegoodagain]

What I would want Peeta to say and do to me if I was Katniss, is how I think this deserves to be summed up.

Word Count: 1971

Rating: 18+. Mature, but not explicit. Sexytimes after the break.

Sliding down into the tub, I allow the sweet smell of the soap to engulf me, my eyes falling shut as the warm water creeps up my skin. My aching muscles relax, the tension seeping out of them as quickly as it appeared. The first week or two of hunting in the snow is always harder than I’m anticipating it to be. But I’ll be just fine.

I know Peeta’s home when I hear his gait on the creaking, wooden stairs. Deciding to stay put, I wait for him to find me in the bathroom. He’s home a little early today. Oh, lucky wife am I.

And, truly, I am. There is no better man out there than Peeta. So when he gently knocks on the door, I smile to myself. “You can come in.” My head falls back to rest on the lip of the tub, providing me with a better vantage point to see him.

The door pushes open slowly, and Peeta steps through, shutting the door behind him. Not necessary, since we’re the only ones that live in this house. But no complaints here. Just observations.

“Hi baby,” he says, leaning back against the counter and folding his arms across his chest. There is a slight uptilt to his lips, one that usually indicates a particular line of thinking. I wonder what I’m in for.

I take this chance to stare at him, lazily moving my gaze head to toe, as I know he is sizing me up, too. I avoid the urge to shift my legs together too soon, anticipating the exquisite touch of his hands that’s sure to come.

He’s wearing his normal dark-wash trousers, a long-sleeved shirt in lieu of his usual attire. The tip of his nose is just the littlest bit red. The snow gets to bakers, too, then. Briefly, I wonder what the cold of his nose would feel like while his lips make their way up my thighs. I do know how his body feels, though, as I take in the way his shirt hugs in all the perfect places.

“Hi baby,” I repeat back softly, not wanting to raise my voice too much for fear of bursting this liminal moment we’ve created. It could go very different ways. I know which way I want it to go, and if I know anything about him, I know what he wants, too.

Neither of us moves to break eye contact. Peeta does, however, slowly peel off the counter, walking around the end of the tub to kneel on the ground next to me. His arms rise up to rest on the edge, his fingertips barely brushing the water.

We haven’t lost eye contact this entire time, so when he licks his lips and says what he does next, I am malleable. Pliable. Putty, in his hands only.

“You look very beautiful today,” he says. Normal words, predictable words, but the way he says it - the way he looks at me as he says it - mouthwatering.

Desperation. That’s the thing in my throat that won’t let any other words get out. Desperation to touch, to be touched, which I can see reflected in Peeta’s face, the slight trembling of his fingers.

“You know, these bathrooms really are too large. Look, I take up only half the tub!” I tell him.

He grins. “I have to disagree. There’s only room for one kickass woman in the tub.”

I hum. Trail my fingers, dripping warm water, through my hair. “Too bad. That kickass woman was hoping she’d have someone come join her.”

This is what really catches him. His voice, usually honey-sweet, is strained, just enough to be noticeable. “In that case, I think I might know someone.”

I take a deep breath, surveying him for another moment. “Well, tell him to come my way.”

With that in the air, he finally, finally kisses me. Kisses me with the force of someone who’s been holding back just long enough that they’re about to splinter. His fingers, the tips wet from resting in the water, find their way into my hair, his thumb tilting my head up beneath the chin. Already, he is biting and tugging at my lip with his teeth, which is one of the things he’s best at. Or maybe I just like it.

The kiss is both quenching and provoking. Yes, I finally can taste the love and lust on his lips, but it only makes me want him more. That’s how it works with us. Has since basically day one, though I was blind to it for a while.

Peeta stops for a moment, close enough that we are still sharing the same air. “How can I help you, my dear?” he asks, voice more rattled than before, as one of his hands dips into the water. His fingers find and, gently, scratch along the sensitive skin at my knee. I shiver, despite the warm water. He grins, noticing the gooseflesh that’s appeared on my skin at his mere touch.

A sharp intake of breath fills my lungs, and it takes me a moment to answer. “First, you’re in an unfair amount of clothes.”

He nods his head, pulling his arm out of the water to grab the hem of his shirt and yank it off, the cuff damp where the water had almost reached the sleeve after he rolled it up. His trousers quickly follow, though his undershorts stay on for now. “What else?”

In response, I stand up, careful not to send water pouring over the edge. Peeta stands as well, reaching over to grab a towel and stepping closer to wrap it around me. His hands pause on my shoulders, holding the towel in place around me. He raises his eyebrows. Next?

I send him the best, most flirty smile I can muster. It's never been my strong suit. Then I remove the towel, allowing him to keep it. The moment he realizes my intentions, it’s discarded to the floor, easily and gladly forgotten. In his eyes, I can tell he wants to touch me, desperately, but I make him wait just a little longer.

He makes a sound in the back of his throat, one of such need and desire, that it sends a flash of pride through me. Turning a man on is so much more fun than I ever thought it could be. It makes you feel powerful, even if it’s just one person for one moment.

But with Peeta, there are so many moments like that. He praises, he worships me, but it’s never over the top. It is always in the actions: letting me fall asleep in his lap, leaving breakfast on the table, placing kisses along my skin after I have been well and truly tumbled. Doing as much as he can to please me. Yes, indeed. I am a lucky wife.

After I’ve planted myself on the bathroom counter, the edge lining up dangerously with the part of me that is Peeta’s next destination, he is on his knees again. He begins his ministrations slowly, each brush of his fingers or lips on my skin like an electric shock. My skin is so, so sensitive, and he is so, so gentle. There’s nothing better.

By the time he reaches my knees, he has scooted closer, his shoulderblades now between my legs to give him the proper access he requires. Each touch of his mouth to my skin makes it harder not to move, but I try my best. As he nears the top of my thighs, he takes one leg and throws it over his shoulder, carelessly, I would say, if it were anyone else.

“So,” he begins, frequently pausing to occupy his mouth in less talkative ways, “there is so much time left, so many things to do.” His tongue traces a thin line up the most sensitive part of my inner thigh. I gasp, eyes falling shut, hips beginning to squirm. One of his hands pushes back on my hipbone, his fingertips pressing into the skin just hard enough to leave marks. Marks for him to see, later. Maddening. “Where shall I begin?”

I realize, maybe two seconds too late, that he is genuinely asking. “Katniss, baby,” he continues, his rough voice sounding heavenly from between my legs. “Tell me how to help.” To emphasize his point, he flips my other leg over his shoulder, effectively trapping himself between and beneath me.

I gasp again, trying to get the words out. In a moment of clarity, I’m able to string together these words: “Kiss me.”

He hums, running his hands over my hips, back and forth. “From down here?”

Smartass. “Not on my lips,” I manage.

He grins, a fiercely boyish grin that I sometimes forget he’s capable of. “I see. Well, since you asked so nicely…”

I choke out a laugh. “Right. As if you didn’t come home with it already in mind.”

He laughs too, but doesn’t allow it to linger for long. “You got me there.” He says this one moment, and the next, his face is hidden and his mouth and tongue are doing such extraordinary things, and, god, his nose -

Well. I hit the nail on the head with that one.

My fingers curl into his hair, urging him on as I push him closer. I can feel his grin, so I give a sharp tug on the hair I have in hand as recompense. This pulls another sound out of his throat, a gasp out of his mouth. Both feel lovely, situated where he is. So I continue to pull at his hair when he needs some humbling.

It's breathless, it's wonderful, it's only the beginning. I'm trembling, grateful to be sitting, as he makes his way up my body. Lingering kisses on my hips, along my stomach, up my chest. He stays at my neck for a while, paying particular attention there, surely leaving behind bruises that can easily be covered by a turtleneck in this cool weather.

--

A good chunk of time passes before I'm able to drag his lips back to mine, feeling like I might die if I don't get to kiss him right this second. He happily obliges, as he knows that he is good with his mouth. In several different regards. But who's keeping track? Certainly, certainly not me.

My hands, itching to touch his skin, smooth down his shoulders, wrapping around his back, pulling him even closer. Now, he is standing again, my legs circling his waist. Our bodies are pressed together at their most intimate places, though his undershorts are still on. Slowly, I run one of my hands down his side, making sure to take my time, before sliding the tips of my fingers below his waistband. I don't move them, I don't try to take his boxers off, I just let them rest there. Let Peeta give me this incredulous, sex-addled smirk.

"Yes?" I ask. "Is there something wrong?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that. I'm just thinking..." he trails off for a moment, leaving me to fill in the blank. "Well, you know, it's not only the tubs that are too big for one person. The showers are, too. Haven't you noticed?"

Tapping my chin, I pretend to ponder his question. "Truly? I haven't. Do you care to show me?"

He swoops in for another kiss, this one full of teeth and lips and pressure. He steals my breath away. "Gladly," he says, grinning, hauling me off the counter.

With a quick turn of the knobs, the warm spray of water begins falling from the shower head, and, truthfully, there is no way to describe what happens next. No way to describe it other than really, really good sex.

[miekasa]

mie….could we please get college au eren headcanons👉🏽👈🏽

Of course. I’m always thinking about his big head anyway <33 might as well put it good use.

One thing he learned in college is how to make his hyperfocus/fixation episodes work for him; that’s why he schedules all his classes as close together as possible. He’d rather have class back to back for 5 hours, than have it spread out with hours in between lectures, because that increases his changes of cutting.

You can always tell when he’s in class and/or what class he’s in by how much he responds to your messages. If he doesn’t text back at all, he’s in a class that hard or one he enjoys, or both. But if he’s sending you iMessage games, then you know he’s in his elective that he couldn’t care else about (and is probably cheating in someway somehow lmfao). 

He usually puts his phone on dnd when he’s in a class that’s important, but you’re in his favorite contacts, so your messages always ring through. What if it’s an emergency and you need him for something? Advanced Roots of Human Biology can wait. 

Some days there are one or two our breaks between his lectures, that’s just how the scheduling works out. When that happens, he usually sneaks into one of your lectures, or goes to your place to take a nap. Your roommates have become accustomed to him, honestly they’ve been considering giving him a key. 

Once, he didn’t realize that your lecture was basically a seminar, with you, the prof and maybe six other students. He still stayed lmao, and the prof was so amazed by his dedication, that she didn’t even mind. Occasionally, you’ll catch the two of them talking after lecture. It’s pretty cute the way she’s adopted him into the class even tho he’s not on the roster. 

You... have to show him where the library is lmfao. He genuinely has not stepped foot in one until you bring him to one. He likes it tho lmao once he gets used to it. 

Speaking of which, do not give him standard directions to find your classes on campus because all you’ll get is, “Babe, I’m gonna keep it real with you, I’ve never heard of the ‘West Quad’ a day in my life. What building are you near.”

He usually comes to see you in the library after all his lectures are done for the day. Sometimes he does homework, sometimes he’s just fucking around on his computer, sometimes he’s just bothering you. When you have to leave to go to class, he stays behind to watch your stuff so you don’t have to pack everything up and come back. 

Very protective when it comes to keeping your seat for you. No, you cannot take that chair to your table you good for nothing freshman; it’s reserved for you. 

He’ll drag you out of the library if you’ve been cooped up all day, tho. Eren will use his height and his strength against you to get you up. Placates you with kisses when he sees your angry expression, and promises to buy you food.

He takes your backpack for you when you’re walking together,m. His backpack is frustratingly light all the time, even during midterms. You swear all he’s got in there is a pencil and some flashcards. 

If you have night classes, he sticks around to walk you home after, especially in the winter when it gets dark faster. If he’s not already on campus, he’ll walk/drive back to meet you; he just doesn’t like you going home alone. Even if your friend/roommate is in the class with you, Eren will walk or drive the both of you home for his own sanity. 

He plays sports, so he usually has practice most evenings, but he’ll find a way to make time. If practice was particularly brutal, he’ll probably crash at your place.

He loves it when you come to meet him after practice. His whole face lights up and he waves obnoxiously, before he gathers up his stuff and all but sprints towards you. You get a cold water bottle to the face, or a bit of water splashed on you usually, which he takes immense amusement in. 

He knows it’s not possible for you to make it to all of his games, and usually it doesn’t bother him much; you’ve got your own life, and work to worry about. All he asks is that you wear his jersey, or any item of his sports apparel/merch on game day (he’s partial to hoodies).

By the time junior year rolls around, he’s not all that interested in attending parties that aren’t hosted by your friends; so, unless it’s at Connie, Jean, or Reiner and Bertholdt’s place, Eren will usually decline. Even team parties, he’s not crazy about unless it’s to celebrate a championship or something. He’d much rather celebrate with you. 

He does get excited about hosting parties though, and he and Jean become pretty damn good co-hosts. They don’t throw ragers, and that’s probably why Eren likes it so much. It’s usually your friend group and a couple plus ones, some good music, games, weed, and take-out. 

He’ll buy you coffee whenever you ask for it. The first time, he just orders something plain, not really knowing the difference between anything; but give it two or three tries, and he’ll get it perfect. He becomes so good that he can order you something new/different and you’ll love it. 

That’s kind of the start of his own coffee addiction, and more often than not, when he buys you a cup, he’s on his second or third of the day himself. The flavor has really grown on him, okay. 

He much prefers your apartment, but on occasion, he’ll ask you to come to his. You’ve been studying for so long, a change of environment should do you good, he claims. He’s a fucking liar tho because that’s all Eren Talk for “I do genuinely want you to come over, but my plans are to coerce you out of doing your assignments and doing me instead.”

Lmfao he adds you on Apple Watch Rings just so you can see him close his rings every day and laugh at you. Even if yours get closed by virtue of walking around campus or working out or whatever, his numbers are stupidly high because he fucking has practice at least 4 days of the week. 

Of course when you’re running on a soccer field for 2 hours every day, you close your Move Ring five times, Eren. Leave the rest of us alone. 

He buys you guys matching accessories for your keychains. It’s something pretty cute, and slightly random, but it reminded him of you. It also serves as a reminder to himself to take his fucking keys with him when he leaves his house. 

He sleeps like a fucking rock, so do not let him fall asleep in the library. Waking him up is a mission, and he’s never happy to be woken up. He looks kinda cute tho. 

He schedules dates for you and his friends. Usually by accident, but hear me out. Sometimes he’ll make plans with Armin, then forget that he has class or a test or something; so his solution is to text you, “hey, i forgot min and i were supposed to go some aquarium tomorrow but i have a midterm so here’s the pdf of my ticket, go with him for me, thanks babe love u” then, boop, you and Armin have an aquarium date Friday evening. 

The same thing happens with Mikasa, though, she usually catches the scheduling conflict before Eren does, and invites you out herself. You and Mikasa hang out quite a bit anyway, so it comes to the point where she tells you when she’s gonna hang out with Eren, so you can make yourself free for when he inevitably remember he has a game that day. 

Mikasa is most amazed that you’ve put up with Eren this long lmao. You’ve certainly lessened her Eren & Armin babysitting hours, and for that she’s eternally grateful. Also, she’s just happy to have another close friend. She loves Eren and Armin, but they’re not the most social beings, and she was literally their only friend besides the other for all their childhood PLEASE she’s so happy you’re around. 

It’s Mikasa, however, who babysits you and Eren whenever you both get too drunk. Says you guys are two peas in a pod (affectionate<2)

If you tell Eren something important that happened, like an internship you got, or a good grade in a class, or something, he usually relays that information to his mom pls. He texts her every day, and if she doesn’t ask for an update on you first, he gives her one.

Carla calls you sometimes, too. At least once every few weeks, just to check on you herself. She really likes you for Eren, and is grateful someone is willing to put up with her hotheaded son. 

Eren’s always using your fucking chapstick. Always. You know he has his own, so why he needs to use yours is beyond you. Finds time to make some dumbass comment about how it’s an “indirect kiss” every time he uses it too. Like bro, we’re dating, and have had many direct kisses why are you like this.

He posts on Instagram every few weeks or so, but you’re on his story every few days. Usually, it’s just a video of you minding your business and doing your work while Eren slowly zooms in before making some loud noise to surprise you, all so he can get your reaction on video and laugh at it. He’s annoying. 

He’s a bit of a copycat when it comes to the products you use. He’ll buy the same brand of pens as you (for that matter, all of his school supplies mirror yours because what does he know about the difference between A4 and A5 notebooks?), put a little hand sanitizer on his backpack like yours (and a lotion, too, for good measure), he even copies your Starbucks order until he finds one he likes for himself. It’s one of his love languages <3

If you’re wondering where your eyelash curler went, Eren stole it to try it on himself, hurt himself, vowed to never use it again, went back because he wanted to “do it right and not give up,” liked the results when he didn’t pinch his eyelid, and now it’s his. 

That being said, stop trying to put your Fenty lipgloss on him, it’s never going to happen. Eye makeup, maybe, only if you sit in his lap and he can have his hands on your ass while you do it. 

What he does love is letting you do his skincare. He will set aside dedicated skincare nights, he adores it. Easily one of his favorite things ever. 

You have his wallet. Not because he’s your sugar daddy or anything (although, if you want something, he’d definitely let you use his card to get it; and even if you bought something without asking, he wouldn’t think twice about it), but because he put it in your bag once and never took it out. 

When you tried to give it back, he just shook his head and told you to keep it, “I have my ID in my phone case anyway, and you’re less likely to lose it. Plus I put all my cards on Apple Pay, so I’m good.”

When you do make it to a game of his, he’s all over you when it’s over. Not in a cocky athlete boyfriend kind of way; in a very sleepy boyfriend kind of way. He’s usually got ice on at least one part of his body, and he’s got half his body weight on you as you walk to the car. 

By the time you guys get back to your place, he’s practically sleep walking. The only thing on his mind is taking a hot shower to soothe his muscles, and heading to bed. The aftermath of game days aren’t all that bad though, because even if you didn’t show, you’re always there to kiss him when he’s home and massage his shoulders, and cuddle him to sleep; and that’s his favorite part. 

[hanmaenthusiast]

Always and Forever

“I like the sound of that Angel.”

inui x f!reader

warnings - mdni🔞, praise, mutual pining?, sofa sex, oral (female receiving), cunnilingus, unprotected sex, riding, body worship, creampie, basically vanilla smut, slight fluff, profanity, use of pet names such as angel and darling, one mention of blood.

synopsis - you and Inui had been living together for a while, one night he comes home wounded after being attacked at work, you have no choice but to help him out in one way or another.

a/n - this is my first post on tumblr & first time attempting smut! apologies for any mistakes, i’m hoping to write more in the future & get better at it lol, anyway the lack of inui on this app is killing me >:(

wc - 2,950

It was late, much later than usual. Seishu still hadn’t come home considering his shift finishes around 4 on a Saturday, you kept your gaze on the clock which continued to tick past 7pm. You found yourself worrying again, worrying about all the possibilities that could’ve happened to him. I mean it was normal to be this concerned, especially since your long term roommate was an ex gang member.

Once again you started pacing around the room, fingers etching to send another distressing ‘where are you?’ or ‘tell me you’re not dead’ text. Seishu’s stern words replayed in your mind ‘Stop worrying about me Y/N, focus on yourself for once’ as you remembered his constant lectures.

Finally gathering yourself together, a set of keys jamming into the front door caught your attention. Sprinting down the stairs your eyes glued onto Inui’s figure as he stood slightly hunched with a prominent bloody gash on his forehead.

“Seishu what the fuck?” you exclaimed, almost passing out at the sight in front of you. It was like you had premonitions about this scenario only seconds before he made his apperance.

“Agh, not so loud, my head is sore.” he groaned, running a hand through his hair after locking the door behind him. He shuffled his way into the room latching onto your arm for support.

“I can quite well see that, sit down over there i’ll clean you up.” you helped him over to the dining table, placing him down onto one of the wooden seats.

Inui told you what happened, how he was suddenly attacked by a group of presumed male gang members at the motor shop unbeknownst to why it played out. Your gut tightened at the story, afraid of any future encounters with them.

“Jesus, they got you good huh. You have to be more aware from now on, where was Draken hm? You better tell him i’ll-“

“Y/N.” Seishu let out a low sigh, he cut you off before you could finish your sentence.

His gemlike pearls fixed onto yours, exchanging a sombre look. You could tell he didn’t need to hear your berating.

“Sorry.” you muttered continuing to clean up his wound.

Ever since you met Inui, you stuck together like glue both having similar interests and mutual acquaintances made it easier to find a blossoming friendship. Of course, you felt a little more than friends towards Inui continuously expressing your feelings from early on.

“Y’know you’re super cute Seishu-“ you tilted your head, hovering it above his “no wonder there’s tons of people feening over you, me included.” you added, tracing a finger over his scar as he lay his head on your lap.

“Yeah? Same goes for you Y/N.” he replied with his tone full of sarcasm, according to him you were making a joke.

This continued for months, constantly sharing flirty remarks but never pursuing one another. Some people had their suspicions, Draken especially, always assuming you’re both in a secret relationship.

“Oi, Seishu your girlfriend’s outside.” Draken nodded towards the entrance of the shop, wiping his hands clean with a rag.

Inui exhaled followed with a roll of his eyes. “She’s just a friend Ken, i’ve told you this multiple times.”

“Seriously just a friend? That mean i have a chance ‘nupi?” Draken giggled, elbowing his colleague in the arm.

“Don’t you dare even try it.” Seishu warned him.

“There, all cleaned up. There’s some leftovers in the fridge too if you’re hungry.” you declared, but before you could retreat back to the sofa, a soft hand grasped you wrist.

“Thank you, genuinely Y/N. I hope you know i’m grateful for everything you do.”

His glossy eyes stared into yours as his sincere words spilled from his mouth. Seishu’s gaze left you with butterflies, a feeling of comfort you would admit, it was odd to see him so thankful seeing as you should be considered a burden to him for how often you seek his safety.

“I know you are, buuut all that praise will have my ego inflating, on another note it was kinda hot seeing your face all bloody.” you laughed kissing above his wound gently before finding a seat on the sofa.

Moments later Inui joined you, resting his head on your shoulder making use of the rest of the couch as he sprawled out his legs. Once he was settled, you both shared a mutual silence watching the TV.

...11:04pm

Your narrowing eyes scanned over your phone, squinting at it’s bright screen shining into your pupils as you attempted to read the time. ‘Shit, must’ve fell asleep.’ you concluded, shifting your weight onto your elbow as you propped up.

You noticed the familiar blondie sleeping tirelessly beside you, an arm positioned lazily over of your waist. Seishu was sound asleep, or so you thought, his ruffled hair tickling your cheeks as you found yourself laying back down facing towards him.

“So precious.” you whispered, lifting your palm gently onto his face as your thumb rubbed slow circles against his pale skin. This was probably the closest you and Seishu had been, cuddled together, bodies attached to one another seeing as the sofa wasn’t roomy enough.

“That feels nice.” Seishu whispered, his soft spoken voice breaking the silence. He brought his hand to yours, placing it on top as he matched your movements, fingers delicately tracing your skin.

“Oh- uhm, well it looks like we fell asleep, i hope you feel somewhat better after having a nap.” you croaked, suddenly feeling the heat rush to your face from embarrassment. Before you lingered around any longer, you sat upright as your back faced Seishu’s figure “I’ll let you rest a little longer-“

“No, stay.” he grabbed your wrist once again, restricting you from fleeing the scene. “Please…for me?” he pleaded, one arm resting on top of his forehead as the other hand was still wrapped around your wrist.

You hesitated, only for a second until you shortly gave into his innocent eyes face paired with a soppy look. “Anything for you Seishu.” you lay back down, again facing towards him on your side.

“Perfect.” he muttered a breathy whisper, a small smile formed on his face along with his emerald eyes flexing a lustrous stare. A dainty finger of his trailed across your cheek moving a strand of hair from your face.

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed again, almost tongue-tied especially in this situation. You and Seishu were admittedly always close but never this intimate.

Once again the atmosphere grew silent but before you could mutter a word, Seishu let out a sigh. “You’re…perfect.” Inui murmured, just loud enough for you to hear.

“Seishu…” a soft exhale escaped your lips.

Inui’s hand found it’s way to your chin, gently lifting it upwards so you were eye level to him. “Can i kiss you, Y/N?” his thumb swiped a slow stripe along your lower lip.

You nodded in reply, discreetly trying to hide your inner enthusiasm as you closed your eyes allowing Inui to take the lead. Seishu’s lips planted a longed for soft-lipped peck against yours, gradually finding motion as he continued kissing your lips.

The thumping of your heart increased, focusing only on the rhythm of how soft and velvety Seishu’s lips felt against your own. His a hand gripped your waist, pulling you closer against him without breaking contact.

Your free hand grasped his blonde locks, running your fingers messily through his hair. Your lips begun to plump, meshing together with Seishu’s perfectly as he slipped his needy tongue into your mouth.

“You- don’t know…how long i’ve- wanted this.” his voice muttered between kisses, claiming your lips after every word. You felt yourself grinding ever so slightly against Inui’s thigh, hoping to release the friction caused by his tongue senselessly invading the depths of your mouth.

Faint whimpers escaped your lips as you continued to slowly rock yourself against Inui’s lower half. “Seishu~“ you panted quietly “N-need more.” your hand balled up his shirt, gripping onto it for support.

Inui’s hand which recently held onto your waist found itself sneakily travelling under your cami, fingers fumbling with the clasp of your bra. He made quick work of removing your shirt slowly followed by slipping off your undergarment.

“God, you’re gorgeous Y/N. So fucking gorgeous.” he admitted, lips tracing along the outline of your jaw as his eyes glistened at the sight of your naked breasts exposed in front of him. “Prettiest tits ever.” His soft hands ghosting over your breasts, thumb and pointer finger capturing one of your hardened nubs beginning to knead the flesh of your mounds.

Seishu slowed his pace, a small string of saliva connected your lips as he broke the kiss. “Tell me what you need angel. Although i must say, the rutting against my leg isn’t very discreet darling.” he joked letting out a small chuckle, eyes glancing down to your clothed needy cunt.

“Want you to…“ you struggled to express your needs, unable to finish your sentence as you buried your face into his chest out of embarrassment. “Don’t go all shy on me now angel, use your words for me okay?” Seishu placed a hand over your tight shorts, pads of his fingers rubbing against your clothed pussy as moved them up and down ever so slightly.

“Ngh! Want more of that, please Seishu.” you choked, almost begging on your knees asking him to please your throbbing cunt. Seishu made quick work of removing your lower garments, pulling down your shorts as he was met with your drenched panties.

“Look at that mess darling, you got this wet just for me?” he caressed your face again, helping you lay underneath him as he moved further down to your lower area, delicately peppering kisses along your stomach.

Inui’s hot breath fanned lightly over your clit “May i?” he questioned. “Yes Seishu.” you replied almost immediately, lifting your hips a little higher to allow easier access to your heat.

Inui’s hands spread your things, gripping onto them for support. His tongue licked a stripe between your folds, coating your cunt with his spit. “Mhm, just how i imagined.” Seishu continued to speak careless whispers into your cunt, his tongue twirling it’s way onto your throbbing clit ultimately forcing you to grind your hips on his face.

His tongue toyed with your bud, circling hearts as he pleasured your arousal. Inui slipped a finger into your entrance, slowly pushing it further before adding a second finger in to accommodate it. “Seishu! Fuck!” you cried out, moaning into you palm.

“Let me hear that voice of yours Y/N.” Inui encouraged you, his eyes staring from above your seeping cunt fingers pumping into you at an increasing speed. “Ngh! Seishu- i’m close!” your hand pushing his head further into your pussy.

Inui’s fingers padded against your sweet spot, curling in motion as he pumped them in and out of your cunt. His tongue continued licking your throbbing clit sucking onto it simultaneously. “Fuck, Y/N, gonna make me cum from that look on your face.” he moaned, fingers scissoring into you faster.

“Fuck~ Seishu- i’m-“ you were cut off by your own moans, legs shaking from the sudden orgasm as your wet slick spilled from your entrance. “Good girl.” Inui let out a hoarse whisper as he pulled his fingers out which glistened in the dim light covered from the tip of his finger to his knuckles in your own cum.

Inui stuck his digits into his mouth, sucking off every last drop of you. “You did so well for me angel, i’ve waited so long for this exact moment.” he exclaimed, hovering above your face before kissing you on the lips again.

“Seishu…i need more of you, right now.” you demanded, a hand palming the tent growing in his pants. Seishu picked you up, resulting in you straddling his lap on the sofa as he sat beneath you. You lifted your hips before quickly pulling down his shorts letting his cock immediately spring free.

Your eyes grew wide. You never expected Seishu to have such a pretty cock, nevermind larger than you’d have imagined. “Like what you see? Seem’s like you underestimated me darling.” he caressed your waist “Lift yourself up for a sec.” as he tapped the outer side of your thigh.

“Wait- wait…i’m on birth control.” you mentioned stopping Inui from getting a condom from the drawers. “You sure about this?” he smirked somewhat enjoying the fact he gets to fuck you raw the first time.

You nodded again, his tip begun toying against your wet folds before casually slipping the head into your dripping entrance. “Agh~ Fuck Seishu!” you let out a breathy moan, eventually taking the full length of his cock. “So tight, ngh- oh fuck.” Inui spoke, guttural whimpers releasing from the depths of his throat as he buried himself deep inside your cunt.

His hands gripped your ass, kneading the soft flesh as he pulled you gently down onto him. You both adjusted to the position, flashing Seishu a look of encouragement as he slowly started to bounce you on his cock, his hips slightly lifting along with yours.

“You like that yeah? Look at those pretty tits.” he mewled as he buried his face onto one of your exposed breasts, tongue ravaging your perky nipples. “Faster- please.” your hand finding its way to the back of his neck.

Inui bucked his hips into you, bouncing you faster onto his rock hard cock. The smacks of your ass echoed throughout the room as they collided with Seishu’s thighs, your tits bouncing along with every movement as Inui pounded further into your cunt. He quickened his pace again, this time you begun grinding faster matching with his speed in which your legs almost turned to jelly from the fastened movements.

“G’na cum so quick baby~.” you whined, dragging out his pet name whilst throwing your head back as he plowed into your pussy. The adrenaline mixed with arousal was too much, your eyes beginning to roll back from the way Seishu’s tip prodded against your g-spot like he was a miner digging for gold.

Seishu kept a firm grip on your ass, still pounding into you as he continued sucking on your tits giving each one equal attention. “Need- agh- your cum on my cock darling.” manoeuvring his hand to your pulsating clit as he thumbed your nub generously. “Yes ngh~ want you so bad Seishu, want your cum inside me.” you choked out, drawing out your moans from the stimulation his cock was causing as he abused your sex.

Inui flipped you over, cock still fucking your tight cunt as you lay on your back, legs wrapping around his waist. “I’ll fuckin’ give it to you Angel, fill- agh- you up with my cum real good.” he cooed, voice almost gravelly from his own moaning.

He smacked his hips against your ass, cock slipping from your hole a few times. “Wettest cunt I've had.” Inui quipped. “The only cunt you’ll ever have from now.” you sent another remark back. 

“I like the sound of that Angel.”

His fingers padded against your clit, vigorously rubbing against it paying close attention to the nub. “Shit- g’na cum gorgeous.” Inui let out another guttural moan “Let’s- cum together.” he ordered you, quickly intertwining your fingers with his as he took your hand. 

Seishu somehow gathered his stamina letting out a few final hard thrusts along with you bucking into him, your walls gradually spasming around his cock. “Agh- Fuck~” you simultaneously croaked, Inui came inside your cunt. Your wet slick spilled all over his cock along with your insides overflowing with Seishu’s seed.

A slow and steady pace allowed you to both ride out your highs, Seishu caressed your cheek removing your hair stuck to your face. “My god you’re gorgeous Y/N.” he pulled himself out, the mess inside leisurely spilling from your entrance.

“Hold on Angel, I'll clean you up.” Seishu grabbed a rag from the washroom, helping you gently as he tided the mess. He came back in his nightwear, seemingly grabbed a shirt that was his which he placed over your head, covering your exposed body just before he lay beside you on the sofa. 

Inui held you tight against him, wrapping his arms around your figure. He knew how to make you feel safe and extremely comfortable, only two of the things on your never ending list of praise for him.

After a short lived moment of silence, you exhaled out a tired sigh “Seishu...I think I lo-”

“I love you, Y/N.” 

You jolted. Almost speechless at his sudden confession, dumbfounded even, burying your face away from his vision once again “No fair, I was gonna say it first.” you complained, lightly pushing his chest. “I wanted to be the first to say it-” he reassured your complaints “I was just looking for the right time.”

“Crazy how it was after you fucked me, eh?” shooting a cheeky wink towards his face. “Yeah right it was a spur of the moment, you were about to say it too.” he spoke in defence, giving you a kiss on the forehead as an apology.

“Not sure why I waited so long, I guess I was just afraid of hurting you.” his answer was sincere, stroking your hair tenderly “I really do love you Y/N-”

“Not to mention how my head no longer hurts, all thanks to you.” Inui gloated.

You sighed, probably in relief after realising the love you shared for him wasn't just some one sided waste for all these years. “I love you too Seishu-” you replied.

“...always and forever.”

[seijorhi]

Unprofessional

as promised, the MSBY manager AU 💕 

MSBY Black Jackals x female reader

TW non-con, smut, gang-bang, nsfw(ish)

You second guess yourself, now that the Captain’s right here in front of you, fidgeting in your seat like a little kid sent to the principal’s office.

In all fairness, you were the one to ask him to come in early, figuring that it’d be easier to say what you needed to before everyone else arrived, rather than having it eat away at you while you waited for practice to end.

Yet under the scrutiny of his dark eyes, you wonder whether you should have just let it slide. At least for a few more weeks. Taking a formal complaint to the higher ups was a step too far, and you hadn’t wanted to bother the coaches this close to the start of the season for something so… trivial. Meian seemed like the better choice. He’d listen to you and be able to help; you trust the Captain and you know the team does, too. If he told them to back off, they would, you’re almost positive. But now that he’s here, there’s this nagging feeling of-

A hand touches your shoulder, and you flinch at the sudden contact, jerking back to the present. 

“Hey,” he says, a slight frown marring his features. “Whatever it is, you can talk to me - don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve been a little out of it lately.”

There’s nothing but concern in his eyes - no judgement, or irritation, and something inside of you eases just a fraction. This is Meian, right from the moment you signed onto the team - granted, only a few months ago - he’s done his utmost to make sure you’ve felt welcomed and part of the team.

You take a breath, offering him a small, tight smile. “I-it’s um, some of the guys- well a few, I guess…” your fingers twist in your lap, and Meian squeezes your shoulder lightly in response. 

“Miya hitting on you, right? Getting a little outta hand?” he surmises. 

And for a split second, you’re surprised. But really maybe you shouldn’t be. Miya’s the one who’s overt about it, drawling stupid, cheesy pickup lines whenever you walk in, slinging an arm around your side and dragging you close, all the winks and the innuendos about as subtle as a tank.

Of course Meian noticed, but that’s just how Atsumu is. He doesn’t bother trying to hide it because nobody but you seems to mind. And maybe, if that’s all that it was, you’d be able to grin and bear it, but it’s not. 

“Yes and… no.”

His brows draw together. “No?”

Taking another deep breath, you begin to tell him everything. Miya’s incessant flirting, all the hugs and touches that fell just the wrong side of what you considered professional. They’re a tactile team, with one notable exception, and you understand that, but the way Bokuto, Hinata and Miya feel comfortable just grabbing you and dragging you around, interrupting you in the middle of whatever task you’re doing to make you pay attention to them is a little alarming. 

And then there was the incident last week, when Inunaki had caught you smiling at your phone during their cooldown and called you on it, which drew the attention of the rest of the team - only to have Bokuto snatch it out of your hands and start reading through your messages. Of course, Meian was there for that, putting a stop to it only when the wing-spiker had started reading them aloud, much to your mortification.

But he hadn’t been there two afternoons later, when an old friend of yours had swung by to pick you up and you’d had to deal with half the team glaring daggers at him over your shoulder like a pack of overprotective mother hens.

Even Sakusa, who usually kept his nose out of the others’ nonsense, stood off to the side with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket, glowering at your friend until you both disappeared from sight.

The texts that blew up your phone in the hours that followed crossed so many lines, it honestly scared you a little. 

Meian doesn’t say a word as you talk, the words flowing easier the more you tell him. It’s not that anything they’re doing is wrong per se. They’re not hurting you, and you think that aside from Miya, the team’s attitude is coming from a good place - some protective, irritating big brother kind of thing. 

There’s nothing wrong with it, except the fact that you don’t want any part of it. You’re a professional and this is a job - a new one, an important one. If you ever want anybody to take your dreams of coaching a pro team seriously you cannot have so much as a whisper of anything less than absolute professionalism. God forbid, if rumours start spreading that you were sleeping with somebody on the team you can pretty much kiss your dreams goodbye. 

At the end of it, Meian’s chin is resting on his fist, faint dissatisfaction pinching at his face, and for a moment, you’re worried that he’s about to chew you out for wasting his time - you know he’s stressed with the start of the season only days away - but he only sighs, leaning back in his seat and shaking his head.

“Thank you for telling me, I’ll talk to them.”

And it’s like this huge weight just falls off your shoulders and suddenly you can breathe easy. “Thanks, really,” you tell him, and the smile on your face is genuine this time.

“Anytime.”

—

You don’t know when he finds the time to pull them all aside, but the next morning when you walk into the gym and Bokuto catches sight of you, golden eyes widening in delight, he starts to bound towards you-

“Bokuto.”

-and stops mid-stride, face falling like a kicked puppy. His shoulders slump, glancing over his shoulder at the Captain, watching the both of you through narrowed eyes.

He doesn’t say another word to the wing-spiker, turning back around to continue his conversation with Adriah - something about tightening up their blocks before the game against the Adlers - and despite the fact you can see half the team’s attention drawn towards you both, none of them say a word either. 

It’s strange, compared to the last few weeks, it’s suddenly like you’re a ghost. They thank you when you pass them their towels and bottles, and for once Hinata sits still when you help him tape up his ankle, though his eyes still follow your every movement with unnerving focus.

They’re polite and respectful, but unless you’re directly addressing them or they need something, it’s like you don’t exist. 

Even Atsumu manages to keep his comments to himself when it comes time for the team to stretch out, though judging from the scowl on his face whenever he glances towards the Captain, he’s not particularly thrilled about it. 

There’s one more day before game day, and they’ve got bigger things to worry about, but for you it’s like you can suddenly breathe easy. You don’t have to tiptoe around your own discomfort, you can just do your job and help them. It’s not that you hate them, not even Atsumu - though he does grate on your nerves at times - you just can’t afford to let them fuck this up for you.

They’re your team, and you’ll help them and you’ll stand on the sidelines and cheer and support them until you’re red in the face. You’ll celebrate with them and commiserate if they lose, but there has to be a line. 

And maybe finally they’re realising that.

Meian sends you home while the others head off to the showers with a clap on your shoulder. “Go home. Today’s been long enough, and you need your rest. We’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

You don’t fight him on it, already feeling the exhaustion creeping through your body. 

But after months in this job, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to find that by the time you’ve had a quick catch-up with the coaches about tomorrow’s training, changed and gathered up your things, you find yourself falling into step with Sakusa, freshly showered and also on his way out. 

Dark eyes find yours, but he doesn’t say a word - at least until the two of you reach the big double doors at the gym’s entrance. “Do you need a lift home?”

It’s rare of him to offer, but you suppose that it’s later than you’d normally leave, the sun already disappearing beneath the horizon. Nevertheless, you shake your head, “No, it’s only a ten minute walk, I’ll be okay,” you say. And almost as an afterthought you smile and add, “Thank you, though.”

He regards you silently for a moment, but simply shrugs his shoulders, “Fine.”

Sakusa turns to leave, heading off to the carpark when a sudden thought strikes you, and before you can think better of it, you call out to him, “Your lineshots were incredible today, by the way. You played well. And please don’t forget we’ve got an early start tomorrow!”

It’s a pointless statement, on both counts. Sakusa doesn’t crave praise the way some of his teammates do, and you can imagine how little it means coming from you of all people. He’s also the most punctual, usually the first in, preferring to get stretched and warmed up before the rest of the team arrived. But the change in plans was kind of last minute and a reminder never hurts.

Sakusa pauses mid-stride, glancing back at you once more over his shoulder. “I know,” he says, and maybe it’s a trick of the light, but you swear there’s something different in his eyes as he stares back at you. Not angry per se, but… you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s odd, you think, out of character for the usually aloof spiker. “Captain told us.”

—

It’s still dark when you arrive at the gym, and the lights are all off, not a soul in sight. That in itself doesn’t strike you as odd though, checking your phone you see that there’s still twenty or so minutes until you were all supposed to meet, but you would have thought that the coaches at least would’ve been here, or Sakusa maybe, if not Meian.

“Mornin’ princess,” a familiar voice drawls, and you jump a little at the sudden weight of his arm draping over your shoulders.

Atsumu’s smile is far too wide and upbeat considering it’s only a little after six in the morning. You’re used to a dead-stare, don’t-talk-to-me-until-I’ve-had-caffeine Atsumu, and it’s almost startling enough to make you forget the arm he has around you.

Either that, or you’re just bewildered that he’s actually arrived early for once in his life.

“You’re awfully chipper,” you mutter, trying to shove his arm off of you as you walk in tandem towards the gym. It’s a pointless endeavour - he replaces it a moment later, tugging you closer. “And early. Do you normally do this the day before the season starts, or can we expect to see you bright and early every morning for training?”

The corner of his lip quirks into a lazy smirk, and Atsumu laughs, “Nah, I’m actually late. All the others are already here.”

You’re halfway through fishing for the keys when he just pushes the door open, and you falter. “Wait- they’re here already?” you glance inside, and the lights are all still off and there’s not a soul in sight, but- “I thought Meian said we were meeting at 6:30.”

There’s something in the way that his smirk widens that’s almost unsettling, but he’s already pushing you forward, flicking on the lights as you pass.

“Oh, he did.”

Your eyebrows draw together in confusion, but it’s too early and you’re too tired to try and decipher Atsumu’s cryptic bullshit. He already has you on edge with how close he’s got you - you can feel the heat radiating from his body, the familiar scent of his cologne invading your nose. “Fine, whatever. Just- just put your stuff away, grab the others if they’re here and I’ll see you on the court in a few minutes.”

You try to shrug off his arm, but his grip only tightens, “Nope,” he says, firmly steering the both of you in the direction of the locker room.

“Miya,” you start, squeezing your eyes shut. You can already feel the beginnings of a headache taking root in your skull, but Atsumu just chuckles lightly, patting your shoulder. 

“Relax, wouldja? Jeeze, yer so tense!” 

With no other sound but the eerie echoing of your footsteps across the linoleum floors, his laugh is too loud, too grating. It sets you on edge, and you have to bite back a scowl of your own and remind yourself that you only have to put up with him a little longer - just until Meian gets here. Unperturbed by your silent irritation, Atsumu continues, “We know how hard you’ve been working lately. We came in early to say thank you, y’know, for everythin’ ya do for us.”

And for one split second, regret fills you, snuffing out the spark of irritation simmering through your veins. Here you are, seconds away from slapping the setter when he is - for the first time in his life - actually trying to do something nice for you. You sigh quietly, smoothing your expression over as he slows down and pulls you to a stop.

He lets you slide out from under his arm, your back to the locker room door, moving so that he’s standing directly in front of you. You open your mouth to speak, an apology on the tip of your tongue, but once again, Atsumu beats you to it. “Yer the best manager we’ve ever had.” He takes your hand in his, twining long fingers with yours and steps closer.

Too close.

“Atsu-”

“We really do care about you - love ya, even -  which is why it kinda felt like a kick in the balls when the Cap came and told us ya wanted some space. Said we were bein’ too ‘overbearing’ and ‘inappropriate’, just cause we want ya nice and close.” Dark eyes harden, “It hurt us, baby. You gotta realise that.”

The grip he has on your hand is painfully tight, but you don’t have a moment to focus on that. Not as Atsumu sweeps forward to close the distance between the two of you, his lips crashing against yours. Hungry. Demanding. A tongue snaking between your lips, melding with your own.

His arm snakes behind you to open the door, and for a moment you’re stumbling backwards into the dark-

Only it’s not dark, not as the blinding fluorescent lights flicker on around you, and you’re not stumbling, not as you collide with a warm, muscular chest and strong arms find your middle to steady you. 

“You took too long,” Bokuto whines, and you’re yanked from Atsumu’s hold and spun, barely having a second to register the gleaming golden eyes before he’s dragging you into a needy kiss of his own.

Dizzy, lightheaded, your heart thumping erratically, you can’t think straight as his hot, wet mouth moves against yours. Greedy fingers grope and squeeze at your body - utterly frozen in shock, pliant under his touch. 

“Aw, quit yer whining, Bokkun,” the blonde growls as Bokuto finally pulls back enough to grant you a few precious gulps of air, gazing at you with a kind of love sick adoration that makes your stomach clench. 

A scoff sounds behind Bokuto, “A bit rich, coming from you, Miya. The two of you just are as bad as each other.”

It’s then that you realise the three of you aren’t alone. Wide eyed, on the edge of hyperventilating, you glance over your shoulder to find two pairs of eyes watching; russet eyes blown wide, enraptured, and swirling black depths, narrowed and glaring over at the blonde. 

Hinata and Sakusa.

It doesn’t feel real. Even with everything they’ve done so far, their possessive behaviour, their smothering affection - even the kisses, it feels like a fever dream. 

Even as Atsumu’s fingers are tugging your jacket off and Bokuto drags you forward, you can’t bring yourself to accept it, to properly fight back against it.

(Not that it would make a difference. They’re professional athletes, and there’s four of them against one of you.)

When your eyes fill with tears, Hinata’s there to brush them away, smiling down at you as he shrugs his own shirt off. “Don’t cry, angel. We’re gonna make you feel amazing, just wait!”

His words don’t fill you with ease. They can’t, not when he has that manic excitement bleeding through his expression - the same one you know he gets when he’s lost in the game, flying across the court like the laws of physics don’t apply to him. 

Hands are on you everywhere, teasing and exploring, too many to keep track of. Your clothes are pulled off, tossed aside and discarded without a second thought, and theirs follow suit. Fingers are tweaking your nipples and palming at your breasts, smoothing over the curve of your ass and trailing between your legs to play with your clit. 

“So fuckin’ pretty, ain’tcha? Our pretty girl, gonna be such a good little cockwhore for us.”

There’s lips against yours, at your neck, trailing down the column of your throat with a pleased hum. And between the kisses, you think that you’re crying, pleading for them to stop and let you go, but nobody listens as you’re manhandled onto one of the benches.

Your legs refuse to obey you, trembling as you try to kick out and wriggle away, only for rough hands to find your hips and drag you back. “C’mon, baby. Be good for us, you’ve already made us wait so long.”

Somebody smacks your ass and you jolt, crying out, only for a hand to soothe over the welt, another squeezing at your hip in a mockery of reassurance. “Don’t make us have to hurt ya, sweetheart.”

It’s easier, you think, to just close your eyes tight and pray that any second now, you’ll wake up in your bed to the blaring of your alarm. But the moment they flutter shut, teeth digging into your bottom lip as fingers dig into your thighs, warm breath ghosting across your sex, a low voice whispers in your ear, “Look at me.”

And you have no choice but to obey, forcing your eyes open to find Sakusa standing to your side, stroking his cock. It’s pretty, you distantly think, and you suppose that it suits him. Well groomed, long but not terribly thick with a slight curve, flushed pink at the tip and glistening with the pre-cum beading at his slit. His other hand comes to rest on your cheek, cupping it with a gentleness that feels out of place, considering the hunger burning in the black depths of his irises. 

He doesn’t say another word as he coaxes your mouth open and guides your head forward to take his cock into your mouth, but the low moan that escapes him as your lips wrap around his length makes you shiver. 

Sakusa isn’t gentle as he fucks your mouth, his thumb stroking your cheek as fresh tears well, but it’s hard to focus on that alone when Hinata’s face disappears between your legs, his tongue laving at your cunt, eager for a taste of you.

It doesn’t take long for the other two to join, and you’re manoeuvred between them, forced to sit on Bokuto’s lap, his thick cock stretching you out while Hinata sits between your legs, diligently slurping at your folds, sucking at your clit, one fist wrapped around his own length, lazily pumping it. Sakusa continues to use your mouth to get himself off, uttering backhanded praise between instructions, hissing in pleasure when he hits the back of your throat and you choke around him, while Atsumu has one hand playing with your tits, the other gripping yours, forcing you to jerk him off. 

It’s too much for your brain to take. 

Your sobs and whimpers, already muffled thanks to the cock in your mouth, are lost to the symphony of grunts and moans, lewd squelching and the sound of skin slapping against skin. There’s too many hands touching you, too much pain fused with unwanted pleasure, overwhelming you as heat and panic and terror build up inside of you, and it feels like there’s an inferno burning beneath your skin, and you can’t breathe and you just want it all to stop, you want to wake up, and-

Suddenly, the door to the locker room snaps open, and all five of you freeze in place as the Captain stops dead in his tracks and eyes the scene before him. 

There’s no possible way for Meian to misconstrue it, not with everything you told him. Not with your face flushed and teary, your eyes glazed over and all but broken from the sick, twisted debasement his teammates have subjected you to. You’re naked, your body littered in love-bites and bruises, spread out before him like a feast.

And still, your eyes meet his, silently pleading for him to say something and stop this.

Meian takes a single step forward and a muffled whine leaves your lips as the cock inside of you twitches insistently. Sakusa draws his hips back, pulling himself free from your mouth, and despite the burn in the back of your throat, you swallow and try to speak.

“Please.” It’s little more than a squeak, hoarse and choked, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. 

The Captain barely acknowledges that you’ve spoken at all, his attention fixated instead on your body; the way your pussy’s clenching around the base of Bokuto’s length, the tremor of your thighs under Hinata’s rough hands, the way your tits rise and fall with every quickened breath, your lips, swollen and beautifully fucked, glistening with spit before finally, those dark eyes meet yours once more.

And slowly, a grin breaks across his face. “You’d better hurry it up, the others aren’t too far off.”

[davidpastrsnack]

it’s crazy what you’ll do for a friend - nolan patrick

a/n: here’s a friends to lovers 4+1 with our fav boy loosely inspired by daddy issues by the neighbourhood. but there’s still a splash of smut because you know me lol. hope you enjoy :)

word count: 10.5k

The first time you met Nolan you didn’t know what to think. He was polite, giving you a gentle smile and reaching out to shake your hand, but you couldn’t help but fixate on how quiet he was and his seeming lack of emotion.

Regardless of your hesitation, that was the first time of many that Nolan took care of you. 

You were new to Philadelphia, moving to continue your education and expand your horizons. You had always been one to play it safe, to stay in your comfort zone, but after having your heart broken and being unexpectedly accepted to one of the top graduate programs in your field you knew it was time to challenge yourself and leave behind everything you had ever known.

Well, almost everything, aside from Aubrey, one of your best friends since that first day of kindergarten so long ago. She worked in the city, practically begging you to join her when she found out you were considering the move. Just weeks later, the second bedroom in her apartment became yours and that’s how you met him.

~

one

It was only your third night in Philly and you were still unpacking, a glass of wine sitting on your dresser as you dug through the remaining boxes that were seemingly never-ending. It didn’t seem like this much stuff when you were packing it, but here you were overwhelmed with all of your belongings.

You were humming along to the music, taking it one box at a time as the room slowly came together when you heard a knock on your door.

“Come in,” you called, turning to face the door.

“Woah,” Aubrey muttered, “How’s it going in here?”

“I know, I know,” you laughed, “It looks bad but I’m almost there.”

She nodded, stepping into the room and sitting on your bed, “Time for a break?”

You knew what the hopeful smile on her face meant, she had plans for the two of you.

You looked at her with hesitant eyes and she chuckled, remembering how well you knew her.

“I was thinking we could go meet some of my friends?” Aubrey continued, “I’m kind of seeing this one guy and his friends are great. They’re a lot but I think you’ll love them and they’ll love you.”

“Aubrey, I-” You paused, “I really should finish up in here.”

“Come on, Y/N, we have all day tomorrow to finish and you need a break. I feel like I’ve barely even seen you and it’s been three days.”

You let out a laugh at her words, she was right. It felt like your life had been on hold for so long but now you had the opportunity to start fresh, to put yourself out there in a world that had no existing opinions of you.

“Fine,” you groaned, standing up from your spot on the hardwood, “But you have to help me find something to wear.”

“Deal!” Aubrey exclaimed, dragging you out of the room and into her own to go through her closet.

Just over an hour later, you were squeezed into a booth of the bar surrounded by men almost twice your size. Aubrey failed to mention that the guy she was seeing, but not dating as she vehemently claimed, was a Flyer and so were his friends.

You didn’t know what to expect from the group, but it didn’t take long for you to conclude that they were sweethearts, especially Travis, Aubrey’s “friend.” After introducing you to each of them, it felt like you had always been a part of the gang.

The beer and conversation were flowing, the bellowing laughs coming from the table practically feeling the air of the entire bar. You quickly fell into the banter, fitting in right away after growing up with brothers.

“There he is!” You suddenly heard Kevin shout from next to you, “Took you long enough, Patty.”

You looked up from your drink to see the man you could only assume to be Patty, his tall frame towering over you as you sat on the edge of the booth. He was dressed in all black, and his hair was long and frankly, unkempt as it curled around his ears. Even in the dim light of the bar, you could make out his light eyes, the blue piercing you as he finally met your gaze from his seat directly across from yours.

“Nolan, this is my friend Y/N,” Aubrey started, “She just moved in with me.”

Nolan reached out his hand across the table which you happily met, secretly hoping he couldn’t feel how clammy you had gotten since he walked in. He softly smiled as your hands touched, the corners of his mouth barely lifting but just enough.

“Nice to meet you,” he mumbled.

“You too,” you replied, flickering your eyes to the other end of the table before you caught yourself staring.

You were right away distracted by something Travis was chirping Claude for from this morning’s practice, but something about the man sitting just a few feet away from you was still consuming your thoughts.

You were pretty sure he had already decided that he didn’t like you. He had barely said a word aside from his initial pleasantries, but from then on it was almost like he wasn’t even acknowledging your presence. You didn’t know why you even cared, but there was something about his presence that made you on edge.

“I’m going to get another one,” you blurted out, everyone’s attention shifting to you.

“I’ll come with,” Aubrey declared.

“I’m good, stay,” you responded, giving her a knowing look. She was practically sitting in Travis’s lap, her hands wrapped around his neck while his eyes were stuck on her like she was the only one in the room. Not dating, my ass, you thought to yourself.

You slid off the cushion and headed towards the bar, the air already feeling lighter the further away from the group you got. You loved them, they were great, but it was just so much new at once. You needed a breather.

It was a packed Friday night and you knew it would be a while before you got your drink, so you sat down on the first available stool you saw. You caught the bartender's attention right away, but she was clearly swamped. You sent her a reassuring nod, telling her to take her time. She smiled right back at you, evidently grateful for your patience.

After what felt like barely a minute of waiting, you felt a body slide next to yours, the scent of cheap cologne overwhelming you as you braced yourself for what was about to happen.

“Hi there,” he spoke, leaning his weight against the bar top as he boxed you in.

“Hi,” you sighed. To put it simply, you were not in the mood.

“You got a name?”

“I do,” you chuckled in disbelief, turning your body away from his as your eyes scanned the room for anyone familiar. Which of course there wasn’t.

“A snappy one, alright,” he spoke, his hot breath fanning over your neck, “Well I’m Brett, what are you drinking?”

“Nothing,” you snapped.

“Oh c’mon, let me buy you a drink,” he continued, either not picking up on your hints or purposely ignoring them.

“I’m really all set.”

Just before he was about to open his mouth to speak once again, you felt his hand rest flat against your back, your body arching away from him immediately at the contact.

“Do not fucking touch her.”

The deep voice echoed in front of you, your vision clouded as your mind raced in a million directions.

“Listen, man, I got this.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” you heard, the vibrations of his voice running straight through your body.

Nolan.

You may have just met him, but that was a body and voice you couldn’t forget.

You had no idea what overcame you, but before you could process what you were doing you wrapped your arms around his torso. Nolan immediately reciprocated, his arm falling across your shoulders and pulling you close to his frame.  

“Just leave,” Nolan asserted, “Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be. It’s already embarrassing enough that you can’t take no for an answer.”

Your body relaxed against his, Nolan’s words calming your worst fears right away. From your vantage point, you assumed Nolan easily had at least six inches and thirty pounds on him. That seemed to be enough for him, backing away with a faulty glare and disappearing into the crowd.

“Nolan, I-” you stuttered, not knowing what to say, “Thank you,” you finally got out, your voice barely loud enough to hear over the hum of voices.

“Don’t mention it,” he muttered, his aura still cold.

You were so caught up in the shock of the moment that you hadn’t realized you were still holding each other, and right away you dropped your arm from his waist. Nolan did the same, awkwardly moving to sit on the stool next to you and flag the bartender.

You missed the warmth of his body right away, the spicy scent of his skin in stark contrast to the Axe you could only assume the other one was wearing. You swore you could still feel the ripple of his abs beneath his t-shirt on your fingertips. It was silent for a minute, both of you trying to come up with the right words.

“I really can’t thank you enough. Let me buy this round,” you pleaded, your eyes locking with his.

“Y/N,” Nolan started, your face flushing as your name fell from his lips, “I’m buying.”

You smiled up at him, nodding before looking back down in hopes of hiding the flush you felt creeping up your neck and onto your cheeks.

“Can I be honest, Nolan?” You questioned.

“Shoot.”

“Do you not like me? Did I do something? I wasn’t expecting that from you of all people-” you rambled until Nolan cut you off.

“First of all, I would have done that even if I hated you. But no, I like you, Y/N. A friend of a friend of TK’s is a friend of mine.”

You laughed at the last part before you could even process the first. Nolan’s cheeks went red, clearly embarrassed at his cliché phrasing but it didn’t matter how badly he made a fool of himself as long as you were smiling. The way your eyes scrunched and your nose turned up while you laughed was enough to make him forget the day he had.

Your laughter was interrupted by your drinks, the woman leaving you with a knowing smile before she turned away. Nolan and you both stood up ready to head back to the table before he stopped you.

“Friends?” He asked, putting his hand out in front of himself.

“Friends,” you agreed with a grin, shaking his hand before walking back to the group together.

~

two

You dreaded first days.

No matter how old you got, the anxiety of walking into an unfamiliar room full of unfamiliar faces never lessened. But you were ready, you reminded yourself, putting your head up and walking to the classroom like you had been there a hundred times before.

By the time you were walking out after the 90 minutes were up, your heart was pounding and you could feel the tears pricking the back of your eyes as you ran out of the building, not even bothering to introduce yourself to anyone.

The walk from the university back to your apartment was a blur. You couldn’t believe you had made such a poor first impression. You thought you were prepared, you had your notebook ready and all the right textbooks in order, but you somehow missed that there was an assignment due on the very first day.

As you rushed through the busy streets of the city, dodging people left and right, your mind raced back to that room.

“Ms. Y/L/N, can you please give your thoughts on the first case study?” Your professor questioned, intently watching you as your panic set in.

Your heart began to race and your palms sweat as you struggled to find the words to say that you hadn’t done the reading. This had never happened to you before, you were an A+ student for your entire life, almost unhealthily so. You couldn’t remember the last time you had missed an assignment, it just wasn’t something you did.

“Alright, then. Anyone else who actually checked the syllabus have something to say?”

Your professor's words were stuck in your head, playing over and over again when you finally reached your building. Now that you were so close to being in the comfort of your own space you could feel your wheels spinning, the stress and emotion overtaking your body.

Your hands shook as you tried to unlock the door, your body pushing through the threshold when you finally got it open.

“Aubrey?” You called as you walked through the hallway. She had known you for so long and always knew what to do to calm you down. But instead of Aubrey’s bright voice welcoming you back, you were met with silence.

“Where are you?” You muttered under your breath, your voice shaking as the tears threatened to spill over any second. As you turned the corner into the living room, you found three bodies spread across the couch, none of whom belonged to Aubrey.

“Oh,” you sputtered out, surprised to see Travis, Kevin, and Nolan watching a game.

“Y/N!” Travis called out, his infectious smile almost making your tight-lipped frown fade, “Aubrey just ran out for something but she should be back soon.”

You could feel Nolan’s gaze burning into you. You did your best to avoid his eye contact in hopes of hiding your current state from him. He had been nothing but kind to you, but you still felt so exposed standing in front of him, suddenly insecure about your outfit.

“I’m just going to go,” you whispered, pointing down the hall to your room. You felt horrible just ignoring them like that, but you knew you didn’t have it in you to keep up with them right now.

Your bag fell out of your hands almost instantly as soon as the door to your room clicked shut, the sound of your laptop hitting the hardwood floor making you cringe. You collapsed on your bed face first, the emotion you had been holding back for what felt like forever overwhelming you. Your body wracked in sobs as you replayed your embarrassment in a seemingly endless loop.

Nolan knew something was wrong the second he saw you. He may have only met you just a few days ago, but after growing up with two sisters he recognized the signs right away. He had no idea what was wrong, but he did know that you were barely holding it together.

Your head snapped up when you heard a series of soft knocks on your door, “Aubrey?” You asked, your voice rising with hope.

“No, uh, it’s Nolan.”

Your face fell when you heard his deep voice through the wood. You barely knew Nolan, he couldn’t see you like this. You paused for a moment wondering if he would just leave if you didn’t respond, but you could see his shadow through the bottom crack of your door, his feet were planted and didn’t show any signs of moving any time soon.

You silently groaned and picked yourself up, not even bothering to look in the mirror before opening the door because you knew it was not going to a pretty sight regardless. You hastily wiped underneath your eyes, the black of your mascara flaking right off your tear-stained skin. This wasn’t exactly how you wanted the new boy in your life to see you right after meeting you, but you just were friends, right?

“What, Nolan?” You sighed when you finally opened the door.

You didn’t mean to be so stark, but it just came out. His presence overwhelmed you just like it had at the bar a few nights ago. He was leaning against the door frame with his hands tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. The backward hat resting atop his head flattered him perfectly, drawing attention to the tufts of his brown hair curling around his ears and neck.

Nolan stood up straight as soon as he saw you, his eyes softening when his suspicions were confirmed: you had been crying.

“I just wanted to check on you,” he mumbled, his eyes never leaving your own.

The tension in your shoulders released as you looked up at him. He didn’t say anything else, just tilting his head down towards you as he continued to scan your face for any signs of how you were feeling. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was something about Nolan that made you feel so safe, so secure, like as long as you were with him you could avoid your demons.

“I’m fine,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

“No you’re not,” Nolan rebutted, raising his eyebrows as if he was challenging you to lie to him again.

You didn’t say anything, but rather you moved your body to the side and ushered him into your room. Nolan happily obliged, awkwardly standing as he took in his surroundings. Your room was just as he expected, it was minimal, just like his. You didn’t like clutter, everything had a place. It was one way you tried to control the chaos that was your life.

“You can sit,” you spoke, breaking the silence.

Nolan nodded and sat next to you at the foot of the bed. You couldn’t help but let your eyes trail along his leg, the way his thighs stretched the fabric of his sweatpants making your cheeks flush.

“It was my first day at this new program I’m in and it didn’t go well, that’s all,” you finally sputtered out, staring down at your lap as your hands fidgeted. “I’ve never been good at first impressions,” you added, a gentle laugh escaping your lip as you thought back to your first time meeting Nolan.

“Listen, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Nolan encouraged, “You seem like a pretty great person.”

You scoffed at his attempt to make you feel better, your emotions creeping their way back into your head.

“It was-” you paused, using every fiber within your being to try not to lose it in front of him, “It was bad.”

“C’mere,” Nolan whispered, turning on the bed to face you more and opening his arms, practically begging for your embrace.

You shook your head, closing your eyes as the fresh tears started burning. You were so selective in who you exposed your most vulnerable state to, and you barely knew Nolan. But despite this, you felt such an instant connection with him, and if his overt kindness was any indication, he felt the same way.

You let your final guard down, leaning back and curling into Nolan’s frame. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight against him as one hand moved up to your head to rub soft circles into your hair.

“Go ahead and cry,” he hummed, his body gently rocking you back and forth.

You melted at his touch, your head nuzzling into the crook of his neck, the muted orange of his Flyers hoodie the last thing you saw before your eyes shut in sobs. His scent was overwhelming, the mix of his body wash and the leftover cologne lingering on his hoodie flooding your senses. You felt as if you disappeared in his grasp, like the world around you vanished and nothing else mattered.

You didn’t even know how much time had passed, but Nolan didn’t move an inch. He held you like it was the only thing he had to do all day. Once the tears stopped falling and your breathing steadied, you pulled back, instantly flooded with embarrassment.

“Wow,” you chuckled, wiping your cheeks, “I am so sorry, Nolan, I don’t know what happened I just-”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, “We’re friends, remember?” He teased, the corners of his mouth lifting in a gentle smile as he bumped your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you laughed.

“I think we were planning on grabbing some food,” Nolan mumbled, his hand scratching the back of his neck as he spoke, “If you want to come.”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

“Come on, you’re coming. If I have to put up with those two out there so do you.”

You rolled your eyes, but it was the least you could do after what he had just done for you.

“Give me five minutes to look less dead.”

Nolan smiled as you agreed, slipping out of the room so you could change and freshen up.

“What the fuck was that?” Nolan was bombarded by Kevin as he sat back down.

“Nothing,” Nolan mumbled, not in the mood to be questioned about things he didn’t even know the answer to.

“She let you go in there?” Aubrey asked, just having gotten back.

“Yes?” He responded, confused by her question.

Aubrey didn’t bother getting into it and changed the subject instead, but inside she was scheming. She knew you, how closed off you were, but here you were opening up to Nolan like you’ve known him for years. Nothing made Aubrey happier than watching this friendship bloom, and she couldn’t help but wonder if there was potential for more.

~

three

Team galas usually didn’t bother Nolan, it was part of the job, but tonight it was the last place he wanted to be. His tux felt too tight, the stuffy conversation with potential sponsors was putting him to sleep, and his date was, to be frank, insufferable.

Nolan had no problem going to an event without a plus one, he and TK were usually the two single guys spending their time causing trouble, but now that Aubrey was in the picture Kevin had decided he had seen enough. So, despite Nolan begging him to leave him alone, Kevin set him up with one of his friends from Boston.

She was just as Kevin described, beautiful and smart, but that was about all. Nolan was calm and reserved, at least until he was comfortable with someone, but she was the complete opposite. Her personality filled the entire room and although he admired her confidence, Nolan was exhausted. He felt like he couldn’t be himself, like he had to work to match her energy.

After what felt like hours of entertaining her and Kevin, Nolan made his escape to the bar. It was the first moment to himself he had, the relief immediately flooding him as he leaned against the counter. He titled his glass to the bartender, silently requesting a refill when he felt his phone buzzing in the pocket of his suit pants.

Nolan begrudgingly pulled the phone, wondering who it could possibly be. The entire team was with him and it was unlike his family to call him on a Saturday night. But when he saw your name flashing across the screen, his whole demeanor shifted.

“Nolan!” He heard you exclaim, your voice like a breath of fresh air.

“Y/N?” He questioned. You had never called him out of the blue like this before. Nolan nodded to the bartender thanking him before taking his drink and walking out to the empty hallway so he could hear you better. “Everything okay?”

It wasn’t really. You had just come back home from a date, one Aubrey practically forced you to go on. You pleaded to her that you were fine, that you weren’t ready to start dating in the city yet, but regardless, you found yourself sitting across from one of her coworkers at a restaurant downtown.

There was nothing wrong with him, he was nice, but it was evident to you before your drinks were even ordered that this wasn’t going to work. You pushed through the meal, putting on your best fake smile and pretending to laugh at his forced humor. You politely declined his offer to walk you home, instead opting to get an Uber so you could get out of your dress as soon as possible.

Now you were home, your sweats on and hair up with a glass of wine in your hand. The glass quickly turned into almost the entire bottle, drowning your sorrows of another failed date with your favorite red. That’s when you made the mistake of picking up your phone, your fingers scrolling through your contacts until you found the one name you knew would be able to distract you.

“I’m great. I mean I’m not, but it’s fine,” you rambled, your words slurred as you spoke.

For once it was you mumbling and not Nolan. He didn’t know what, but his gut was telling him that something was wrong, he could practically smell the alcohol on your tongue through the phone. After a long pause of trying to figure out what to say, his thoughts were interrupted.

“Come over?” You whispered, “I’m so sick of being alone.”

Nolan’s heart dropped at your words, his eyes blinking shut as he pondered his next move. His eyes scanned the ballroom, finally landing on his date. She was sitting at their table, Nolan’s empty seat sticking out like a sore thumb, laughing at whatever story of his college days Kevin was regurgitating. He would feel like an ass if he just left, and he would be lying if he said the prospect of an easy lay hadn’t crossed his mind tonight, but you were more important.

“Give me twenty.”

-

Since calling Nolan you had migrated from your bed to the couch, a blanket sprawled across your body while you laid horizontal. The only light in the room was from the TV as one of your comfort movies played. You were barely paying attention, instead zoning out and staring at the lit-up city around you from the window.

Your mindless thoughts were interrupted by a series of knocks on the door. You threw the blanket off of your body and stood up, slowly dragging your feet across the hardwood as you made your way. But you were nowhere near prepared for what you saw as soon as you opened the door.

Nolan towered over you in the door frame. He was wearing a suit, the soft, grey fabric clinging to his thighs and shoulders perfectly. His long hair was slicked back and tucked behind his ears. The scent of his cologne overwhelmed you instantly, the warm aroma making you want to melt into him. One hand was resting in his pant pocket, while the other was carrying a take-out bag from one of your favorite spots.

“Hi,” Nolan quietly muttered, breaking the silence.

His deep voice broke the trance you were in, and that’s when the realization hit you.

“I completely forgot you guys had that thing tonight,” you blurted, the alcohol in your bloodstream clogging your train of thought, “I am so sorry. You have to go back, I feel horrible.”

Your hands came up to your face, hiding your embarrassment. How could you forget? You spent hours this morning helping Aubrey pick out her dress.

“Y/N,” Nolan cooed, his large hands gently pulling your own off of your face, “I’m here and I’m not leaving.”

Nolan didn’t let you get another word out before he was pushing past your body. He wasn’t even enjoying himself at the event and the last thing he wanted to do was go back.

It didn’t long for the two of you to finish the food, opting to head back to the couch and ignore the many empty containers for now.

“I’m never going on a date ever again,” you slurred, “I don’t even want to look at a man ever again.”

Despite trying to be quiet, Nolan couldn’t hide his chuckle. He had heard similar frustrations from his two sisters growing up. He had been around endless assholes throughout his life, he knew how exhausting it must have been to try to find a decent one.

“Can’t blame you,” he mumbled.

Your body slumped against the back of the couch, your eyes slipping shut as the wine and food started to lull you into a sleepy haze. Nolan scanned your face, a soft smile creeping onto his face as he watched your chest gently rise and fall with each breath. Before he could catch himself, he lifted his hand and pushed back the hair that had fallen in your face, tucking it behind your ear.

In that moment Nolan knew that he was fucked.

Never before had he dropped everything for a girl as he did for you tonight. But he also had never connected with someone like he did with you. You didn’t force him to be something he wasn’t, there was no pressure to put on an act. It just felt natural with you. But your words from just a few minutes before lingered in the back of his head. You made it clear that you weren’t looking for anything right now, it only took one miserable date to remind you of that. So Nolan pulled his hand away, trying to ignore the burning of your skin against his fingertips as they trailed across your soft cheek.

You were friends. Just friends.

-

You had no idea how much time had passed, but suddenly you felt yourself stir awake, your eyes peeling open to find yourself tucked into Nolan’s side. His body was warm below yours, his arm resting across your shoulders holding you in place as you lay against his chest. From your peripheral vision, you could see his suit jacket on one of the couch cushions, the soft material of his button-down rubbing on your cheek.

You had two options. You could either acknowledge that you awkwardly fell asleep on him in your drunken state, or you could pretend that you never woke up and continue to enjoy the comfort of his embrace.

Needless to say, you chose the latter.

But you must have dozed off again because the next time you woke up you were being carried into your bedroom. Your arms were wrapped tightly across Nolan’s neck, the tips of your fingers naturally lifting to twirl the tufts of his hair.

“Shhh, I got you,” Nolan whispered as he felt you move, just before he laid you down onto your bed, “I’ll be right back.”

Nolan hastily left the room, leaving you to bask in the memory of his warmth as your head fell back against your pillow. Within just a few seconds he was back, placing a cool glass of water on your nightstand table. But almost just as fast as he came back, he was leaving again.

“Stay,” you murmured, watching him pause at the outline of your door.

“I- I got the couch.”

“Okay,” you responded, trying to hide your disappointment.

Nolan visibly cringed the second your door was closed, his head falling to his lap once he sat down. He wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with you. The thought of holding you beneath the sheets and feeling your soft skin in contrast to his rough hands made him dizzy. But the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. You weren’t sober enough to say he could stay, and there was no chance in hell Nolan was going to risk scaring you off. So he took the couch, laying across the cushions with his eyes locked on your door until his eyelids gave in to his exhaustion. 

~

four

It was finally Friday, another week in the books. 

Your classes were taking more out of you than you had expected, the hours of reading and note-taking blending together as you finally closed your last tab. You had no plans for the night, and you honestly couldn’t be happier about it. A hot shower, takeout, and falling asleep early encompassed your perfect night recently.

Just as you were about to get in the shower, you were distracted by your phone ringing. You picked it up, surprised to see it was Kevin calling.

“Hi, Kevin,” you spoke, a slight edge to your words. You adored Kevin, he was an absolute sweetheart, but sometimes you just didn’t have the patience.

“What are you doing tonight?”

You rolled your eyes at his question, “Nothing.”

“Incorrect, you’re coming over and hanging out with me and Pat.”

“I am?” You laughed, taken aback by Kevin’s forwardness.

“Teeks and Aubrey are coming too, come on, Y/N,” he continued.

You knew you weren’t getting out of this without a real excuse, no matter how much you wanted to stay in. You hadn’t seen Nolan since the night you embarrassed yourself, the cringe of drunk dialing him after a bad date had yet to escape your memory.

“What time?”

“Uh- Let’s say 7.”

“Alright, Kev. See you later,” you hung up the phone, throwing it back on your bed before getting in the shower.

-

As you approached the boys’ apartment door, it was quieter than you expected it to be. Aubrey said she was already with Travis and would meet you there, so you were arriving alone. You assumed they would already have been there by now, but you ignored the silence and knocked on the door.

Just a few seconds later, the door swung open and you were face to face with Nolan. Your eyes widened when you saw him, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and his bare torso staring at you. You quickly composed yourself, using every ounce of self-control within you to avoid trailing your gaze across his broad shoulders and down his chest, the curves and divots of his abs making your mouth water.

“Sorry,” Nolan mumbled, his cheeks flushing even redder than they usually were, “I thought you were Kevin, he always forgets his keys. Come in.”

You followed Nolan into the apartment, the muscles of his back rippling as his arms swung. You sat down on the couch, awkwardly waiting while he disappeared into his room. He came back just a few seconds later, his body now hidden behind a wrinkly t-shirt.

“Where is everyone?” You questioned, your body stiff as Nolan relaxed into the cushion next to you.

“Not sure,” he mumbled, the red of his cheeks lingering, “Kev said you were coming with Aubrey?”

Your face scrunched in confusion, “He told me she was coming here with Travis.”

Nolan then pulled his phone out and started typing a message to Kevin, desperate to figure out where he was. For some reason being here with you alone was making him nervous, there was an awkward energy in the air that had never been there before.

Nolan was reaching for the TV remote, about to ask you if you wanted to put something on when his phone sounded.

Kevin: You’re welcome

Now it was Nolan’s turn to furrow his eyebrows, the boy even more confused by Kevin’s message.

Kevin: We couldn’t watch you two anymore please just do something

Kevin: I’ll be out all night

Kevin: Don’t forget protection!

Of course. Of course, this little miscommunication was, in fact, a setup. But the worst part was that Nolan knew Kevin was right. No matter how hard he tried, he had been pining over you since that very first night. And now here you two were in an empty apartment with enough sexual tension to last the year.

“No one’s coming, are they?” You broke the silence, snapping Nolan out of his trance.

He threw his phone to the side as a slight smile crept across his stern face, “Nope,” he chuckled.

If you thought there was tension before, it didn’t even compare to what you felt now. Since meeting Nolan you were under the impression that your secretly harbored feelings for him were just that, a secret, but apparently, you weren’t as subtle as you thought. This had Aubrey written all over it, and you knew Travis was under her spell and would do anything to help her, and bonus points for chirping Nolan simultaneously. It was the elephant in the room, your mutual feelings still not being spoken but you both knew you had been called out by the people who knew you best.

“What are you thinking about?” Nolan whispered, the rough hum of his voice sending chills down your spine.

You couldn’t get even a single word out, your thoughts and feelings jumbling in your mind. After all this time the perfect opportunity was finally handed to you on a silver platter, but you still couldn’t do it.

Nolan could sense your hesitation, your close proximity and sweet scent clouding his consciousness.

“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking about,” he murmured, turning his body so he was facing you.

Your eyes had yet to leave your lap, your focus stuck on the rip of your jeans. You jumped when you felt his warm touch on your lower thigh, the warmth of his calloused hands making your heart rate rise even though the thick denim. His size was intoxicating and he made you feel like putty as he leaned closer to you.

“Y/N,” Nolan mumbled, his voice deeper than ever before.

You finally lifted your gaze, turning your head up to look at him. His baby blue eyes were piercing yours, the contact lighting a fire within you. Every reasonable thought in your head was telling you to pull away, to grab your bag and politely excuse yourself. You weren’t ready for a relationship, you had barely put yourself back together after your last heartbreak and Philly was supposed to be different. But as you sat here, your face just inches away from Nolan’s, you gave in to your desire.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you connected your lips with his, immediately sighing in relief as his soft pout worked perfectly against you. You hastily swung your hips over and seated yourself on Nolan’s lap, an eager groan escaping him when your body rolled into his. His hands splayed across your hips, moving to circle your ass as he helped you grind deeper into his already hardening length.

Nolan trailed his lips down your jaw, nibbling and sucking on the plane of your neck. You knew he was leaving marks, but in the moment you couldn’t care less, the euphoria of his touch being the only comprehensive feeling.

“Please,” you whined, tightening your grip on his long locks, “Nolan.”

You couldn’t remember the last time someone had ignited you as Nolan had. He had barely even touched you and you were nearly certain you had already soaked through your panties, withering in his lap desperate for more.

“Now she has something to say,” Nolan teased, whispering into the shell of your ear. He gave you no warning before he was standing up, holding the back of your legs as you instinctually wrapped them around his waist.

Nolan gently tossed you on his bed, pausing to pull his shirt off before he was climbing on top of you. You were in a state of bliss, finally able to admire his frame shamelessly and without fear of getting caught. He continued to attack your neck, leaving mark after mark behind in his wake. You whimpered impatiently as his lips worked your sensitive skin, but Nolan was set on taking his time. He didn’t know if he would ever have you like this again and he was going to savor every second of it.

But you decided to take matters into your own hands, pushing his frame off of yours and pulling your sweater over your head. You grabbed Nolan’s face again, cupping both of his cheeks as your lips met again. He made quick work of your bra, unclasping it with ease behind your back and tossing it across the room.

“Fuck, you’re stunning,” he groaned, pausing to take you in. Your hair was splayed across the pillow, your cheeks flushed while your chest heaved up and down with heavy breathing. His praise went straight to your core, clenching around nothing as you grew more and more desperate for him.

Nolan wasted no more time, finally making his way down your torso before reaching the hem of your pants. His fingertips slowly ran beneath the fabric, stopping only to look up at you. Your eyes locked and you frantically nodded, understanding that he was waiting for your permission before continuing.

“Words, Y/N,” Nolan hummed into your thigh, his order gentle but firm.

“Yes,” you breathed out, “Fuck, yes.”

Nolan did as you said, unzipping your jeans and sliding them down your legs. He almost lost his balance on the mattress when he saw you laying before him, the pink lace resting across your hips being the only thing keeping him from you. Nolan settled himself between your legs, hooking both of them over his shoulders as his hot breath fanned over your pussy.

Nolan placed a soft kiss to your lace-covered clit, basking in your reaction as you let out an embarrassingly loud moan and your hands flew to his head, tangling in his hair. Your hips jerked up into the air, desperate for more friction. Nolan laid his thick forearm across your waist, his weight halting all of your movements and holding you at his mercy.

“Nolan, please just fuck me,” you begged, the suspense too much to handle as you felt yourself drip down the crease of your thigh.

“All in good time, baby,” he cooed, pulling your panties to the side and finally connecting with your throbbing pussy.

You cried out as his tongue flicked your clit back and forth, the pleasure only magnifying when he sucked it between his teeth. Your hands were locked with an iron grip in the roots of his hair, holding on like your life depended on it. Nolan hummed against your core as he continued to taste you, the vibrations of his voice sending shockwaves through your body.

Suddenly Nolan pulled back, but before you could protest you heard ripping. A gasp left your lips when you realized what he had done, the mangled lace of your panties now laying on his floor. You wanted to yell at him, complain that those were your favorite, but before you could get a word out he was back at work, this time fucking his tongue in and out of you.

Your head fell back against the pillow, your mouth opening in a silent scream when you felt him slide two fingers inside while his mouth circled your clit again. Nolan curled his fingers against your sweet spot and you knew you were done for, your back arching off the mattress as you combusted with your orgasm.

Nolan milked you through your high, his tongue flattening against your clit as his head shook and his fingers kept their pace. He finally slowed down as he felt you come down, pulling back to watch you shake as the last waves of pleasure rolled through your body. He slipped his fingers out of your fluttering pussy, only to bring them to his mouth and suck your juices clean.

“You’re really good at that,” you stammered, just now coming back to your senses after almost blacking out.

Nolan laughed, kissing his way back up your body until you two were face to face again. You couldn’t resist pulling him down and crashing your lips against his, moaning into his mouth as you tasted yourself on his tongue.

“I’m good at other things too,” he smirked, tucking your hair behind your ear, just as he had done last week, except this time he didn’t have to hide it. The soft action made your heart flutter, but his words made something else flutter.

“Give me your best, Patrick,” you challenged.

“Your wish is my command, baby.”

Nolan pushed off his arms and stood up, hurriedly stripping himself of his sweats and boxers in one fell swoop. A whimper escaped your lips when you heard the sound of his cock slapping against his stomach, your pupils dilated as your eyes trailed down his thighs admiring his tattoos. 

Reaching across you to get a condom from his nightstand, Nolan was surprised when you plucked it right from his hand. You tore open the foil and slowly rolled the condom onto him, a small smile spreading across your face when his hips buckled into your hand at your touch.

You may have been embarrassingly weak for him, but he was just as weak for you.

Nolan shifted on the bed so he was hovering over your body, leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth. Your lips moved in sync with one another, the pure lust filling the room dictating every movement. He felt you grow more and more impatient, your body stirring beneath his as he finally pulled away.

Taking one last look at you spread out before him, waiting for him to touch you, Nolan directed his attention back to between your legs. He locked eyes with you before collecting the salvia in his mouth, harshly spitting on your pussy. The moan you let out was only amplified when he started teasing you even more, dragging the head of his cock through your soaking folds.

“Nolan,” you whined, the last letter of his name prolonged as you begged, your entire body tensing while he tapped your already so sensitive clit.

“Shhh,” he cooed, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles against your hip, “Got to make sure you’re ready for me.”

Before you could get in another word of protest, Nolan was pushing one of your legs into your chest and sliding inside. Your mouth fell open as he slowly bottomed out, the sensation of him filling you paralyzing. A string of deep swears left his lips as he felt you already clenching around him.

After letting you adjust, Nolan started rocking his hips, quickly finding his rhythm. You didn’t have a single thought in your head, the way he hit your sweet spot inside and ground against your clit making you dizzy.

Nolan had never been in such bliss. He could never have imagined how good you would feel wrapped around him, your walls still pulsating from your first high as he slid in and out. The way your name sounded falling from his lips was pure ecstasy, his innate possessiveness in full drive. Your nails dug into his back, dragging burning lines into his skin that he knew he would be tormented about tomorrow in the locker room but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the way your bodies fit together in perfect harmony right this moment.

You could feel yourself growing close within mere minutes, Nolan’s relentless thrusts giving you no mercy. He could tell you were almost there by the way you were fluttering around him, along with the mindless sounds of pleasure escaping your lips getting louder and louder.

“That’s it,” Nolan encouraged in your ear, “Cum for me, Y/N.”

Between his hot breath against your tingling skin and his plunging thrusts, Nolan had you seeing stars.

“Nolan, Nolan,” you whined.

You swore you almost blacked out, your vision going blank as he fucked you through your high. He wasn’t far behind you, the clenching of your pussy egging him on until he finally let go, his hips stuttering and groans filling the air as his head fell into the crook of your neck.

“Fuck,” Nolan sighed, letting his heart rate steady as he laid above you, resting the majority of his weight on his forearms.

“Yeah,” you responded with a breathy laugh, your mind still blank as you came down.

Nolan stayed there for a few minutes before finally sitting up, cringing as you whimpered when he pulled out. Your eyes slipped shut, but you could hear him shifting around the room. After pulling on a pair of fresh boxers and dampening a towel, Nolan gently cleaned you up, biting back a smirk each time you shivered at his touch. He disappeared again, this time returning with a shirt in hand, urging you to sit up so he could help you pull the soft fabric over your head.

You had every intention of getting dressed and leaving, but you just couldn’t find the energy to remove yourself from his warm bed. The sheets that smelled like him enveloped you, and now his t-shirt was draped over your shoulders begging you to stay. Nolan slid next to you, his body cradling yours from behind as he wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you impossibly close.

“Sleep well, Y/N,” Nolan hummed into your neck as he settled in.

“Goodnight,” you managed to get out, the shame of what you had just done starting to spiral in your head.

You made a mistake. Nolan was good, so good, and he deserved more than you could give him. Your last relationship ended in disaster, leaving you broken and abandoning the idea of finding love ever again. Regardless of what you told your friends and family, it was what drove you from home. Then came Nolan, he was the definition of kind. Even when he barely knew you he did whatever he could to protect you. That kind of guy deserves someone who’s got it together, not whatever mess you were. You couldn’t believe you let your attraction to him get the best of you, and now here you were, pressed against his sleeping frame as he held you.

Everything inside of you was telling you to leave. It was too much, the eventual pain of whatever this was ending was overwhelming. You could hear Nolan snoring behind you, the sound of his contentment almost bringing tears to your eyes. Gently lifting his arm from its spot across your waist, you slid from underneath his grasp. It was nearly impossible to find your clothes in the dark, but you managed to do so without making too much noise. Nolan didn’t even stir as you moved around him, folding the shirt he gave you and placing it on the nightstand.

Just as you reached for the door, you felt yourself pause. Don’t do it, Y/N. Don’t do it. But you couldn’t resist, slowly turning to take in what you were leaving behind.

Nolan was passed out, his body leaning towards the pillow where you once laid your head and his arm laying flat as if he was still holding you. You could make out the redness of his cheeks in the dim light, his eyelashes curling down onto his cheeks. Your heart broke as you looked at him, but you knew it was what you had to do. He deserved the world, which was much more than you were able to give him. Without giving it another second of thought, you opened the door as quietly as possible and made your escape.

~

+ one

It had been over three weeks since you last spoke to Nolan.

You couldn’t handle facing him just yet, so you did what you knew best: shutting out the people that cared about you the most. You ignored every single one of his calls and texts, eventually muting his number when it became too much. You replayed what you imagined he looked and felt like that morning, waking up to a cold, empty bed. It was heartbreaking, but you stayed firm in your decision. As long as you didn’t have to see his face you would be fine.

But of course, Aubrey had different plans for you.

Since that night, you had been more distant from her than ever before. You left the apartment early in the morning, spending your day in class and bouncing between different coffee shops while working. You kept up appearances when you returned in the evening, saying hello and asking her how her day was, but practically nothing else. You made an early exit to your room, citing homework or lack of sleep as your excuse. But she knew you better than anyone else, it was no secret something was wrong. Much to your content, you could only assume that Nolan was keeping your secret as well, knowing that if he told anyone on the team you would be getting an earful from her.

But Aubrey had decided that she was done letting you sulk about whatever it was you were so clearly upset by. The Flyers had been away for almost two weeks and tonight was their first game back home. Thanks to Travis, she had two tickets in hand ready for the two of you.

Before you had even shut the apartment door behind you after arriving home, she was jumping up to greet you.

“Hey!” Aubrey exclaimed as you walked in, “We’re going out tonight.”

You just stared at her confused, knowing damn well you had no intention of going anywhere. “Hey,” you started, “I- I don’t think so, I have a lot to do.”

“No, you don’t. Listen, I don’t know what is going on with you but I’m sick of watching you wallow in whatever it is. I’ve barely talked to you in almost a month, you’re coming with me,” Aubrey snapped. If there was one thing about having such an old friend it was that she always gave it to you straight.

“Where?” You begrudgingly inquired.

“Nope, it’s a surprise,” she answered. If her inkling was correct, whatever had you in this funk had something to do with a certain Flyers centerman and she was not risking you ditching because of it.  

“Fine,” you groaned.

It wasn’t news to you that you had been a horrible friend recently. Despite the anxiety that came with breaking your current routine, maybe a night with Aubrey was just what you needed to take your mind off everything.

-

A few hours had passed, and you were sitting in the back of an Uber watching the city pass you by. Aubrey maintained the anonymity of the destination, ignoring all of your pleas for even just a hint. But there were some things that she couldn’t control.

Your stomach dropped when you saw where the car was heading towards, the large Wells Fargo Center plastered on the side of the building cluing you in. Of course, you thought, how could you not have known. You had so strictly blocked Nolan and the entire team from your mind that didn’t think to look at their schedule, but now it all made sense.

“Aubrey, no,” you stated, your voice already shaking as you got closer and closer.

“What the hell happened?” she snapped back, finally getting confirmation that your funk was related to Nolan.

“Nothing, nothing happened. I just don’t want to go,” you rebutted, “I’m not in the mood to see everyone, okay?”

“You don’t have to, we’re sitting alone,” she responded, turning her phone on and showing you the location of the tickets. As she promised, they were nowhere near the family boxes.

You didn’t say anything else, instead choosing silence as the car pulled up to the entrance. You both thanked the driver before quickly exiting, a long, awkward silence falling over the two of you as you entered the arena.

You could do this, you told yourself while adjusting in your seat. You could sit through one game, you didn’t even have to see or talk to anyone. If it would make Aubrey happy, you could suck it up and sit down. The two of you had still barely said a word to each other since arriving, and you could see the disappointment on her face. Deciding it was time to get over it, you put your arm around Aubrey, smiling as you instantly felt her relax and place her head on your shoulder. Neither of you said anything, but after knowing each other for so long, you didn’t have to. She knew what you meant.

-

You didn’t know what to expect, but the second you saw Nolan step onto the ice you were flooded with emotion. He looked tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping much or well, and your heart dropped at the thought that you may have been the reason why. You still were firm in your decision to avoid anything serious right now, but you knew you went about it in the completely wrong way. Nolan was the closest thing you had ever met to an angel, but you treated him like a random one night stand from the bar you barely knew. The guilt had overtaken you over the past few weeks, and seeing him in the flesh wasn’t helping.

It was a relatively uneventful game, the rebuilding Red Wings visiting and not giving the Flyers much of a fight. By the third period they were up 4-0, one of which was scored by number 19 himself. As the horn sounded signaling the end of the game, Aubrey turned to you.

“I was going to go see Travis,” she hesitated, “Do you want to come? Or I can meet you right after?”

“I’ll wait for you,” you encouraged.

Aubrey thanked you, squeezing your hand before getting up and heading downstairs. Instead of going to the main concourse to wait, you stayed in your seat, waiting for the crowds to clear out before you moved. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you started mindlessly scrolling as a distraction.

But your distraction didn’t last for long.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Your eyes slipped shut when you heard his voice, that same voice that left you weak in the knees. You immediately felt your heart begin to race and your palms sweat. You felt caught. After taking a moment to pause, you finally mustered up the courage to look up at him.

Nolan’s eyes were focused on your own, his hair slicked back and soaking wet still with sweat. He had definitely not showered yet, between the fact that the game just ended minutes ago and his appearance. He was dressed in his undergarments and slides, clearly he wasted no time before coming up here to find you.

“How did you even know I was here?” you questioned back, already feeling yourself on the defense.

“Really?” Nolan scoffed, “Travis told me. How else would I have known? It’s not like you talk to me.” He trailed off, his words becoming quieter.

“Nolan, please,” you pleaded, “Please sit down.”

There was no doubt in your mind that it was time for you to come clean. You could see the pain in his eyes and the hurt behind his voice. He obliged, sinking to sit in the seat beside you, but he didn’t turn to face you. His coldness was evident, and you knew that you deserved nothing else.

“I’m sorry,” you began, “I’m so sorry, Nolan. I- I shouldn’t have left like that, with no explanation-”

“I thought I had you,” he interrupted, “Finally, Y/N, after all those weeks of tiptoeing around it, I thought we were done pretending.”

You could feel the tears burning behind your irises, and it was taking everything within you not to let them out. Nolan’s words broke you, even more than you were already broken.

“Nolan, I wanted- I want,” you corrected yourself, “Nothing more than to give myself to you, but I- I just can’t. I’m not ready.”

“Then why did you sleep with me?” his voice cracked, “And what does that even mean, ‘you’re not ready’?”

“I can’t let myself get hurt again, okay? I can’t do it,” you sighed, finally succumbing to your emotion, “I am so sorry for dragging you into my mess, but I can’t let myself go through that again. And you deserve so much better.”

Your head fell to your hands, hiding your face from him as you cried. Even just speaking out loud your last heartbreak made you a wreck. Deep down you knew Nolan wasn’t capable of hurting you like that, but you wouldn’t let him take care of you anymore. You couldn’t. He deserved someone who didn’t need to be taken care of.

“Y/N,” Nolan hummed, gently placing a hand on your back. He cringed when you jumped at his touch. “Y/N, look at me, please.”

You did as he asked, your red, puffy eyes lifting to meet his baby blues, putting you at ease almost right away.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Nolan murmured, “I don’t know what you think, but you’re not a burden. You’re the complete opposite and I want to show you that. If you’ll let me.” He paused, his eyes frantically scanning your face for any sign of your reaction. You were staring ahead of you, entranced with the ice below as you processed his words. Despite knowing how much it could potentially hurt, Nolan said what he thought he had to, “Even if it’s just as friends, but you can’t disappear on me again.”

You made Nolan feel at peace, like when he was with you nothing else mattered. But no matter how strong his feelings were, he cared for you enough to put them aside if that’s what it took to keep you in his life.

“I don't want to be friends,” you whispered, finally breaking the silence.

As if there was some kind of magnifying force between the two of you, your body lunged towards Nolan’s, your lips crashing together instantly. He was stunned, his body frozen in shock, but within seconds he melted against your touch with one hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your hair. It felt like time stopped in that moment, the only thing making you pull away was the lack of air.

You were both breathless, your foreheads resting against one another. Nolan took both of your hands in his, intertwining his much larger fingers with yours.

“I trust you,” you breathed out.

The grin that spread on Nolan’s face was like nothing you had ever seen before. You matched him right away, smiling as you watched the pure joy and relief wash over. The same joy and relief that you were feeling.

“Does this mean I finally get to take you out?” he asked, his deep mumble making you feel right at home again.

“Maybe,” you teased, “Only if you shower,” you added, pretending to push him off of you.

Nolan couldn’t help but fall into a fit of laughter at your subtle jab. That’s what he loved about you most, the way you could earn a smile or chuckle out of him like no one else.

He stood up from his seat, extending his hand out as he stared down at you. Without even a crumb of doubt creeping its way into your mind, you took his hand. Wrapping your arms around Nolan’s and resting your head against his shoulder, you walked out and into the hallway together.

Nolan leaned down and pressed a gentle peck to your forehead, and for the first time in longer than you could remember, you felt untouchable.

~