#i'm not in this fandom

[professorsparklepants]

I have never played bg3 but I can't stop thinking about that post about preteen Durge and how fucking funny it is. Except now I'm imagining both a child Durge AND a teenaged Tav being part of the tadfools. (Durge is i think 9-10 whatever age children are most bloodthirsty. Tav is early-mid teens imo. prime babysitting age.)

Absolutely Heartbreaking: In A Group Made Almost Entirely Of Grown Adults Local 13 Year Old Bard Student Is Forced To Be Leader. Their whole life Tav has been the one student who is always in charge of the group project and now they're running the most high stakes group project of all time. Not to mention on top of solving a bunch of grown adults' emotional trauma and wrangling an elementary schooler who likes to bite people to death, they ALSO have to deal with a weird immortal tentacle monster appearing in their dreams trying to enact a dubcon YA paranormal romance while they sleep.

meanwhile Durge is acting as a party tank while also coming up to like, their armpits at most. suffering from THEE epitomy of childhood adhd anger issues where you can't explain why you did anything it just happens to you. except they literally black out.

[defilerwyrm]

Part of growing up is learning some hard lessons like

Fiction isn't reality

Having a kink or fantasy isn't the same as wanting or doing the actual thing

Fantasies don't predict reality or we'd all be rich

Thought crimes aren't real

Some people have kinks and/or fantasies you personally find icky, but you don't have a right to tell them not to

Some people with trauma work their shit out in ways that you personally find icky, but you don't have a right to tell them not to

Conservatives will take advantage of your desire to be seen as a Good Person™️ to push you to the right

You are responsible for curating your online experience

Censorship is inevitably racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic

If you're a furry, no matter how many lines you draw in the sand, at the end of the day the rest of the world still sees you as some weirdo who cranks it to Donald Duck

[anjeez929]

Marcille x Female Reader Headcanons!

She leaves you for Falin

[totally-not-a-furry-uwu]

Hi apparenrly I drew tommyinnit blame my gf for all the gifs

[canonisdead]

Now for something completely different

Coiny: Hey Firey guess what Firey: What Coiny: sends a selfie of him and Leafy

Coiny: Shes mine now

-

Leafy: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Firey: It’s my turn to cuddle Leafy.

Coiny: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!

-

Leafy: Firey, can you pass the salt? Firey: Throws Coiny across the table

[collectors-tablet]

To clarify bc my last post confused some people! (I got an ask about it but I'm not posting it publicly)

I basically only ship canon things for ToH, + very-far-distant-future-adult King/Collector. Normally I ship them platonically, there's not even, like, Disney-safe shipping with the kid versions I just only ship them as friends haha. I don't even recognize your shipnames

[and-fishing-equipment]

sorry but someone assuming you have "left a fandom" when you don't post about it a lot anymore feels like bilbo coming home to the sackville bagginses having him presumed dead and selling all his stuff. girl i was just on a little quest????

[blakbonnet]

peak philosophy in ao3 tags

[professorsparklepants]

Hello Desmond Miles enjoyers I have an au concept for you. He is tall, handsome, built, and lived in New York City. There is no way this boy has not been scouted by a modeling agency at LEAST once. I know this in my heart to be true. Canon-compliant version he probably laughs nervously, says he doesn't have a phone, and throws away the number they give him in the first trash can he can find.

BUT CONSIDER. It would be so fucking funny to make him a male model. Give him an Anok Yai style career where a street photo of him goes viral and agencies are calling him every day. No phone? No problem, you've got a job and a landlord. After a month of this he's like, you know what? Why *shouldn't* I be a male model? I ran away from home because I didn't want to be involved in a bullshit war between secret societies that probably isn't even real. What's the harm. And then a month later he opens a Prada show and his career explodes.

He'd do fantastic, he walks like a panther who's coming to eat you and has (and I am saying this because the modeling industry is notably racist) enough ethnic features to be interesting but not so many that he can't pass as white. Like a male Bella Hadid. Dolce & Gabbana would love him.

Anyway the really funny part is imagining Bill Miles tearing his hair out over the fact that his son has a Wikipedia page with his face on it. Asbtergo knows who he is ("why is Altair Ibn-La'Had in my copy of Vogue") but can't actually kidnap him easily because he's high profile enough that they can't just disappear him with no issues. Obviously they do kidnap him eventually but I think they put a lot more prep into it than "pull him out of his apartment 24 hours after they first ping his ID."

Lucy: yeah. You've been kidnapped. Sorry. They're going to keep you here indefinitely until they get everything they need from you through the Animus.

Desmond: I could break my diet.... Lucy can you get me a cheeseburger. Can I please have a cheeseburger and fries and a milkshake.

Rebecca, after he gets rescued: yeah they put you on the FBI most wanted list. Sorry.

Desmond: NOOO... MY CAREER...

The perception of his descent into terrorism would be amazing. Literally no discernable reason it just looks like he snapped under pressure and bombed a pharmaceutical company. The fashion industry is gonna get soooooooo much shit about it. Desmond is reading the New York Times article about it on Rebecca's phone like "not actually what happened but if it gets them to stop making sixteen year olds cry we'll call it a win."

Anyway you know the tumblr would be fucking insane about him. Discourse over whether it's ethical to be calling him hot if he blew up a building and killed dozens of people. Armchair sleuthing out the wazoo. There are multiple flower crown edits. Shaun leaks footage of Desmond's kidnapping and the true crime girlies go bananas.

[defilerwyrm]

cursed 7 am thought that made me pop up out of bed: MLP ponies, being not-horses, do not in fact have hooves. What they have instead are stumpy feet covered in hundreds of thousands of cilia that can move rapidly in concert to grasp and manipulate objects the way a human would use their hand. Just scads and scads of wiggly, sticky little noodle fingers where a hoof would be.

do you see my vision

[panvatar]

As an autistic monster fucker and a furry (stay with me) I feel confident in saying Laios is not a monster fucker. Laios hyperfixates on monsters like irl people hyperfixate on dinosaurs. Not once have I seen him interested in a monster sexually. He is all about fun facts and recipes.

He is, however, definitely a furry and I'd bet money he's got a fursona and a monstersona.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[wardensantoineandevka]

is that piece of media actually bad, or is it just not following the blueprint you projected onto it? is that work actually not good, or are you just demanding something from it that is absolutely antithetical to its themes, genre, tone, and narrative goal? is that story actually poorly written, or do you just dislike that it is not the specific things you wanted from it that it never set out to be, never was, and never is going to become? is it actually bad, or is it actually well-executed and you just dislike the story it chose to be because it isn't catering to your specific desires and expectations?

[galaxylover06]

Their name is Barry and they can't escape the digital cir

[screwpinecaprice]

CREATURE WITH A KNIFE

[fozmeadows]

fact: when pidgin dialects involve english, -glish becomes the suffix, eg: chinglish, konglish, hinglish fact: slash pair name order puts the top first and the bottom second, eg: deancas vs casdean conclusion: english is an uke language and that’s why we have an omegaverse, not an alphaverse