#i'm so sorry for the late response... it's sweet of you and i'm getting caught up on things now...

[commsroom]

I just want you to know that you're one of the blogs that I scroll down on my follower list to see <3 (/p) You're really awesome and I want you to know that :3

aw, thank you, really!! it makes me very happy to hear that ♡

[lymtw]

Deceiving Dreams

(Toji and His Shy Girl)

Toji woke up sweating, a foul feeling in his chest after what he just dreamt. You were the star and your co-star was not him, but some random dude who was way too comfortable with touching you. His hands would brush over your shoulders and your thighs like he was familiar with your body, but what was absolutely stomach churning, was the way he kissed you softly and slowly. You didn't even push him away, instead you reciprocated the gesture. You did the sweet things that you only do with him, like smiling at this man in that way that makes wonder brim your eyes. You kissed the corner of this stranger's lips, on the same side that Toji's scar is on, coincidentally, and you wrapped your arms around this stranger with that same amount of hesitance you show Toji, as if this person you've known for mere minutes summed up the butterflies and electric feelings your lover makes you feel in that short span of time.

Toji hasn't been this unsettled by something regarding you since the time you cried during an argument that spiraled out of his jealousy. Things got out of hand, but since then, he's learned that he can't do things that way with you. He can't shut you out, and he can't snap at you or you will crumble to the ground.

Patience is a hard thing to learn, and though being with you has taught Toji how to be more careful with his words and to be understanding of your struggles to communicate certain things, at the end of the day, he's still learning. How does anyone deal with this kind of thing in a gentle and unassuming manner? He can't just spring such a question on you without it rubbing you wrong. "Are you cheating on me?" No. That is a recipe for disaster and just asking for unwanted distance. You wouldn't do that to him. He knows it, but that dream... It just seemed so real.

Hey, ma. You awake?

It's two in the morning, and you probably won't answer, but as Toji lies there in his bed, waiting for a response from you, he realizes he can't wait to hear from you, so he does the next best thing—he calls you.

The line rings a couple times, and by the third time, he's ready to end the call before he gets sent to voicemail, deeming his reason for pulling you out of sleep so early in the morning to be ridiculous. It was a dream. You're not cheating on him. You wouldn't do that to him. He knows this, yet, here he is, trying to sleep in your bed with you, like a child who woke up from a nightmare, tiptoeing over to their parents' bedroom.

"Hi, Toji," you answer, your voice quiet and slightly raspy with sleep. "Toji?" You call, again, when you get nothing from him. "Are you okay?"

He feels somewhat embarrassed for having woken you up for this, but if the deed has already been done, then he needs to make the most of it.

"Hey, sweetheart. I'm doing just fine. Everything's fine. Listen, would it be alright if I came over?" He asks, already sitting up and getting out of bed.

"It's a little late, isn't it? It's..." you hum as you quickly check your phone, "...two seventeen," you respond, trying your hardest not to nod off as you lie comfortably on your side, your phone placed between your ear and your pillow, again.

"I know. I'm sorry. You don't have to wait up for me, though. I can let myself in. You gave me your spare, remember?"

You blink, tiredly, and remain silent for a few seconds until Toji calls for you. "Yeah, okay, then. Drive safe. It's raining really hard."

"Will do, mama. I'll see you soon. Love you."

"Love you," you mumble, before hanging up the phone. You went right back to sleep, afterwards. The sound of the rain pouring outside was soothing and the coldness that came with the weather made the perfect contrast to the warmth of the blanket you bundled yourself in.

Toji got to your place twenty-something minutes later. His hoodie was heavily spotted with the raindrops it caught during the walk to your front door from his car. He fishes out his keys from his pocket and looks for a shiny, bronze key on his keyring. Once he has it, getting into your warm home goes smoothly. From taking off his shoes and setting them beside yours, to removing his hoodie so that the wetness doesn't touch you, he moves quickly. He doesn't stray from his path to finding you, not even to grab a snack from your kitchen cabinets like he normally does, no matter the time—he just goes straight to your room.

When he opens the door, Toji is met with nothing more than the adorable sight of you curled up in bed, like a puppy sleeping peacefully under a heap of toasty blankets. He shuts the door behind him, quietly, and moves swiftly, but carefully, so that he doesn't wake you up before he even starts crawling into bed with you. He gently lifts the blanket off the vacant side of your bed, and slides into his place beside you. Instantly greeted by the warmth you generated, he feels the urge to pull you into his arms and just hold you all night.

"Sorry, baby. I know i'm cold," he says, softly, when you stir at the iciness of his fingers dragging up and down the side of your neck.

You blink your heavy eyes open and take in the sight of Toji right in front of you. Him calling you wasn't part of a hyper realistic dream, he's actually in bed with you.

"What's wrong?" You ask, concerned for his reason for wanting to be there in the early hours of the morning, rather than just waiting until later on in the day. You had plans to meet, anyway. What is so important that he couldn't wait until then?

"It's nothing to worry about. Just wanted to be here with you," he responds, not totally lying, but also not telling the whole truth.

"Remember what I told you when we first met?" You mumble, not satisfied with the vagueness of his response. There seems to be more that he isn't telling you.

"You said a lot of things to me that day," he responds, with a low chuckle.

"I did," you agree, smiling softly at the memory. "I also told you something important that day, didn't I?"

You watch the contemplative expression on his face, the outward appearance of his brain whirring. It's cute, even in his handsomeness. "Do you want a hint?" You ask, though when you see his eyes widen a little, you know he won't need it.

"You're better at listening than you are at talking," he recites, with a smirk, like he's patting himself on the back for being able to remember.

"Right. So, if there's something wrong, I want to know about it. I know i'm not the best conversationalist, but you know that I always try for you."

Now that you're more awake, Toji doesn't feel so heartless for handling you like you're merely a teddy bear, so that you're lying on top of him. He wants you close to him all the time, but when you say things like that, he instantly feels the need to bring you closer. It's pure instinct by now.

"You ever get tired of me just scooping you up out of nowhere?" He asks, lips curled in amusement as he watches and feels you wiggling around, trying to make yourself comfortable. Finally, you rest your head on the upper part of his chest and let your arms go limp beside him.

"Never," you respond, simply, smiling when a low chuckle rumbles out of Toji's chest.

His arms tighten around you a little more when the room goes silent, and then he remembers why he's here. He can't lose this. Your warmth, your careful affection, the way you constantly look at him like he's the reason the moon and the stars shine at night. He never wants you to look at him another way. There's absolutely nothing hard about loving you, and if you can't believe it on your own, he'll prove it to you.

"You know how much I love you, don't you, doll?" He asks, his palms finally warm enough to work as heating pads for your back.

"I do," you assure. Maybe this is his concern—that he's not showing you enough love. No, that can't be it. If that was it, he would've waited until later on in the day to see you and talk about it.

"And how much I need you? Do you know that, too?" To that, he doesn't get a response from you. He knows you aren't sleeping, because he can feel your legs shifting against his every once in a while.

"Doll?" He calls.

You let out a soft breath, before responding with your truth.

"I don't know if you need me, Toji. When you tell me you love me, I believe it, because I feel it and I know it, but I don't think you need me."

"Don't..." he sighs, not expecting this as a response from you. "...don't say that. Don't you dare say that. What does that even mean? Because I don't fucking get it. I really don't, ma."

Your heart rate picks up a little, but you try to keep yourself as calm as possible. You understand that this isn't something he wants to hear, as the one who's helped you through so much, but you can't help but share how things feel on your end.

"Don't you ever think about how much better it would be for you to love someone who makes things easier on you rather than overcomplicating them? Someone who tells you what they want straight up, instead of having you basically pry the words from them?"

Toji stays quiet this time, not because he agrees, but because he's figuring out how to say things without it being explosive. He knows that those few seconds of relief will be followed up by a tidal wave of regret. It's not worth it. You're his little sunshine and he would never forgive himself if he was the reason for why your light died out.

"I love you, Toji, but I think about that a lot. I want you to know that if you ever get tired of me-"

"Don't finish that sentence," he cuts. "I don't wanna hear it."

There's no playfulness or warmth to his tone. Nothing but the weight of his words. Your heart feels a little heavier, but you brush it off and utter a phrase that you're all too familiar with.

"Sorry."

You feel nervous, and not in the "good" way. Not in the way that makes your cheeks heat up and your stomach swarm with butterflies, but instead the way that makes your chest feel strange, and like there's a knot forming in your throat.

"I don't wanna hear that either, doll," Toji says in response, his tone softer, now, his thoughts collected. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. You know I love you." He presses a kiss to the top of your head and rubs the center of your back in soothing motions. The silence that returns makes your heart beat even faster. You wonder if Toji can hear it through the lack of sound in the room.

"I had a really stupid dream," Toji finally confesses, a low, humorless chuckle vibrating against his chest. "I mean, really stupid. Can I tell you about it?"

"You don't have to ask, baby," you respond. Your cheeks go warm at your use of the pet name, but it felt right in the moment. Maybe this is what's been lodged in his mind this whole time. You want him to feel as comfortable as possible as he recounts it to you.

Toji smiles softly at the term of endearment you used for him. Somehow, the way you said the word made it sound softer and even more cushioned than it already is.

His arms readjust around you, tightening the perfect amount so that you're secure against him and he can feel more of your body's warmth on his. He peppers a few more kisses on the top of your head before going on to tell you about his dream.

"So, I kind of just spawned into a room where you and some random guy were sitting on a bench, and he was getting really touchy with you. His hands were rubbing your thighs and your shoulders and..." He pauses. This is his least favorite part. He didn't like any part of it, but this part took the cake, because no one kisses your lips but him.

"It's okay," you say, encouragingly. You rub his side a few times and endure a squeeze of his arms—the equivalence of a rush of emotional support in a gesture.

"Well, you and him started locking lips, and it looked like you were really enjoying it. Your eyes were sparkly and you were smiling at him all pretty." He sighs, bothered anew, the same way he was when he first woke up. "See, I told you it was stupid," he grumbles, mildly embarrassed. "Obviously not stupid enough for me to sleep in my own bed for the night. It's fucking ridiculous. Sorry, doll."

You utter another phrase you're all too familiar with—not one you say often, but one you hear from Toji plenty.

"Don't apologize," you murmur. A few seconds pass, and you know just what to say. "Toji?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

You say it like it's as easy as breathing, because it is. There's nothing hard about loving Toji. He's good to you. It's a love you've never experienced with another, and you do your damn best for him, which is why him showing up at two a.m. isn't a problem. Him crawling into your bed, and reaching for you with hands that are cold as ice isn't a problem. He needs comfort this time, and all you can do is hope that the way you console him is enough.

"Only you, and that's how it'll always be. Your brain thought it would be funny to trick you, but it grayed on the fact that I suck at talking to people."

That made him snicker. It wasn't a reaction meant to ridicule you, rather one of immediate relief, due to the confirmation you gave him about his place as your only love.

"Not that i'm interested in pursuing others, but how am I gonna go for someone else, when I can barely talk to you?"

Now that made him full on chuckle, and you just lay there on him, withstanding the crushing sensation of his arms squeezing you impossibly tighter. You fear he might break you, but you would endure that momentary loss of breath any day if it means his heart remains whole.

"God, I love you so damn much," he murmurs, low against the top of your head. "I love you," he says, pressing yet another affectionate kiss to the area. "And I need you. I want you to understand that by... now. I need you to understand it, right now, baby."

"I don't think that's how it works," you say, humming out a soft laugh.

"Well, we're gonna make it work. Alright? You're gonna understand how much I need you."

"Okay," you say, resigned to his perseverance.

"Okay?" He repeats.

"Yeah," you confirm, lips curling, amusedly.

"Yeah?" He copies once more, knowing it'll grant him one of his favorite little sounds from you.

You giggle. "Yes, Toji."

With that, he's flipping you over, his position expressively dominant, now. It's dark in your room, so you can't really see much, but you can make out most of his handsome features, and you can feel his body heat embracing you, just as much as it did a few seconds ago. His hands are planted right beside your head and he's peering down at you, smirking at the way you look at him, like you haven't caught up with how he handled you so delicately yet efficiently to switch positions.

"You always look so pretty under me," he murmurs, leaning in closer. You in so that you see nothing but him. His hands ball up the sheets beneath them, carelessly wrinkling them as he remains merely inches above you. You slowly release the breath you've been holding in. "You mad at me, baby?"

"No," you answer, trying to remain calm, despite the heat that is beginning to seep into your face. "You've done nothing for me to be mad about, so why would I be mad at you?"

His lips press against the lower part of your cheek—a deep kiss right above your jaw. "'Cause i'm kinda dumb and do shit like this. I woke you up, and now you're losing sleep," he murmurs, against your skin.

"It's okay, Toji," you gently reassure. "I understand and I'm not mad at you." Your hands come up to his back, tentatively, feeling the body warmth that seeps through his shirt.

"No?" He asks, pressing a soft kiss closer to the corner of your lips. "You promise?"

As if trying to further comfort the giant hovering over you, you rub his back in gentle motions.

"There's nothing to be mad about. You've done nothing wrong and you're always welcome here, love." You smile when he continues planting little kisses on your cheek while you keep talking. "You have my spare key, because I trust you and I have nothing to hide from you. If giving you that key means you show up here in the early hours of the morning, because you don't want to be alone, that's okay, too. So, yes, I promise i'm not mad."

A low hum comes from Toji as his kisses inch towards your lips. A few land on the corner of your lips, then he's just a little bit off, and then finally, his lips center on yours. You feel butterflies begin to flutter around your stomach as he collects kiss after kiss from you.

"You tired, pretty baby?" He asks, his voice only audible between you and him. Not even the thin walls of your room can take away the intimacy.

"I wanna be awake with you," you respond, your voice matching the low volume of his.

"You sure?" He asks, and you do your best to convince him that you are. Your hands pull away from where they once rested on his back and you raise them to cup his cheeks with slightly shaky hands. Your touch is gentle, maybe even a little hesitant, as you begin to slowly stroke the softness of his skin. This is one of the very rare times when Toji accepts your actions in place of your words.

Your thumb brushes over the scar on his lips, and before you can even process it, his lips are on yours, again. You can feel the flourishing warmth of his face beneath your palms as he kisses you with an unexpected amount of fervor. You hear soft panting from him, as a result of him hungrily chasing kiss after kiss from you. He challenges your lungs, letting them feel a slight burn when he doesn't pull away after you've reached your limit. It's not until you're breathing heavily that he lets you go, and begins to scatter soft kisses along the side of your neck.

"Baby," he hums against your neck, leaving another kiss behind. "My sweet, pretty baby. How do you do it?"

"Do what?" You ask, smiling as he continues to let his lips feed off the warmth and softness of your skin.

"How do always manage to keep things so peaceful?" He responds. His heart beats slightly faster when you release a precious laugh at the question. "Things are just... so damn simple with you," he says, softly, as he goes lower down your body. His hands grab the hem of your shirt and begin to slowly roll it above your stomach. He instantly takes note of the goosebumps that rise when his palms graze your bare skin.

"I know how much you try for me, and fuck, i'm not dismissing your effort, but I also want you to understand that it's not hard to treat you right." His hands grip your waist, loosely, and he leans in to place a kiss on your stomach.

"There's nothing hard about being with you..." he murmurs beneath your ribs, "...and waiting for you. You aren't difficult like you think you are, sweet girl."

"You promise, Toji?" You ask, glancing down at him as he continues leaving kisses on your skin.

"I promise," he assures, meeting your gaze as he presses another kiss right beneath your chest. "You want me to stop?" He asks, aware of the lack of coverage for your chest under your shirt.

"You can keep going," you respond, willing yourself to relax under his touch. He doesn't waste any time, and immediately buries his face in your bare chest. For a moment, there's no major movement coming from him, just his breathing. You think maybe he's just savoring the warmth that you've accumulated after spending hours under your blanket, but he full on melts into your body. His arms go beneath you, allowing him to wrap around you tightly once more, and he releases an audibly heavy sigh.

"It's okay," you say, softly. You keep one hand on his upper back, while the other gently plays with his hair.

He's not sure if he deserves the tenderness your touch holds for him. He tries to be as gentle and careful with you as he can, but he's so scared that one day you'll shatter and it'll be his fault. You'll walk away from him with no intention of ever coming back and something that was so good to him will be gone. You deserve to be happy—always. He knows this, but he doesn't want to picture somebody else making you happy like he does. He can't accept that. You're his girl.

"Toji?" You call. You know your little place isn't the most high end of them all, but you also know that it's not falling apart. There's no way for the rain to reach your skin if there's no hole in your roof.

"Toji?" You call once more when he doesn't answer. Your hands still on him when you feel his shoulders stutter. You have your own glum cloud resting on top of you. You feel something wet land on your chest—it's starting to rain a little.

"It's okay," you whisper, resuming the gentle motions on his back and the back of his head. "It's okay." You feel him begin to leave languid, spaced out, featherlight kisses on your chest, and you want to freeze. You want to express how impactful the gestures are, and how they animate the butterflies that reside in your stomach, but you can't. You can't and you won't do it, because it's your turn to prove that you'll take care of him when he's not at one hundred percent.

"It's... it's gonna be okay. I have you," you assure, feeling the softness of his hair between your fingers as you repeatedly thread them through, and the movement of his back beneath your other hand as he breathes. "And you will always have me, and I love you with all my heart, Toji. I need you to understand that, right now," you tease, lightheartedly, echoing his earlier words back to him in an attempt to make him feel better. You hear a congested sound, something between a laugh and a hitch in his breathing.

Not another sound is made for the next few minutes, no words spoken. Your skin catches a few more of Toji's tears as he continues to brush his lips against the entirety of your chest, reveling in the warmth of your skin. Toji can hear your heart beating rapidly in your chest—the way it always is whenever he's around you. Normally, he teases you about it. 'Your heart's gonna explode if you don't calm down.' 'We don't even have to do cardio to get your heart going.' Sometimes, he just holds his fingers against the pulse point on your neck and laughs at the rapid thrumming against his fingertips. He finds it endearing, but right now, it's a comfort.

You don't mind the occasional slight pinch of his lips—the more physical proof of his appreciative affection. You simply remain focused on soothing him and reassuring him of how strong your love for him is and will always be.

"Don't know what I'd do without you, ma," he mumbles, his cheek resting on your chest. He could fall asleep so easily to the sound of your heartbeat in his ears, the feeling of you playing with his hair, and the way you slowly rub his back, but he's torn between staying where he is and coming back up to hold you close through the rest of the early morning.

"I promise I'm not going anywhere," you assure, wholeheartedly.

With that response, Toji makes his choice. He pulls his arms out from beneath you and sits on his knees, between your legs for the quick second it takes him to fix your shirt. After, he lifts the blanket and reclaims his rightful spot beside you.

"Come here," he murmurs, pulling you into his arms without an ounce of struggle. He waits for you to settle, back against his chest, before fully enveloping you in his warm embrace.

"It sounds like pebbles hitting the roof instead of raindrops."

"Mhm," he hums, into your neck, letting his hand slide beneath the front of your shirt to caress the soft skin of your abdomen. "If your roof starts leaking, you're coming to stay with me." It's not a question or an offer.

You laugh. "The rain isn't that bad."

"Mm..." His lips home to your shoulder, a gentle peck placed on the concealed area. "Love seeing your pretty face first thing in the morning. You stay with me if your ceiling ever caves. Okay? Okay."

"Okay," you respond, through a giggle. "You'll be my first call."

"Good," he murmurs.

"I'll make you breakfast later, when we wake up."

And though Toji responds with, "Sounds good, ma," all he can think about is how you're going to struggle so hard to get out of bed because he's going to make it nearly impossible for you to do so. The gears are already turning in his head. He'll pin you down, he'll strengthen his hold around you, he'll roll on top of you "in his sleep". You're too polite for your own good, you most likely won't try to wake him up. He'll swaddle you in the blanket, he'll tie your shirts together in a tight knot-

"Goodnight, Toji," you mumble, feeling your tiredness return as he continues drawing little lines and shapes on your stomach.

"'Night, baby," he murmurs, feeling much more content and at peace with the idea of sleeping knowing that you're in his arms, not in anyone else's.

[lucidfairies]

LET'S PLAY

pairing: ghostface!Abby x reader x ghostface!Ellie

synopsis: you've always been afraid of scary movies, but when abby recreates one of her favorites with some help from her best friend... lets just say you face your fears.

warnings: fear kink (?), threesome, pussy eating, strap usage, gendered pet names, double penetration + anal [r! receiving], face riding [e! + r! receiving], scissoring [a + e], very brief gendered talk ("but my sweet girl can take it, can't she?"), unrealistic squirting

wc: 2k

a/n: hi guys! to be fully transparent with you guys, I've been extremely busy over the last couple of weeks and have no chance to write. on top of that I'm extremely under the weather right now, so this is the only Halloween shot I have written. 😭😭 I'm really sorry that it worked out this way, maybe I can finish and post the others later on!

it was halloween. finally halloween. and the conditions were perfect. the dark night sky was filled with grey clouds that stuck out from the moonlight, fog had been gathering all day, so that once trick or treating started for the little kids and partying started for the older kids, it was just right. you had different plans on your mind, though. tonight it would be just you and Abby, with movies, popcorn, and definitely some costumes.

in all honesty, halloween scared you in the slightest. the movies that Abby often wanted to watch were gruesome, and you wound up with your hands over your eyes, merely listening to the shrieks and stabbings. abby loved it, though, so you found it in your heart to get over it.

that fear, however, resurrected itself when the clock passed eleven, knowing she was supposed to be home at nine-thirty. you had texted her a number of times at this point, even called her, with no response. it was more than strange; in all the years you and abby had been together, she had never, ever missed a halloween.

at a certain point you sighed and got off the couch, accepting that she apparently just wasn't coming home. you went down to your room, changing and laying down to sleep. you tossed and turned, not used to a bed without her body in it. after a while, you laid on your back with a huff, grabbing your phone to text her again.

before you could press send, you heard an aggressive jingle of the lock on the front door. it didn't stop, and you were slammed with the feeling that someone was trying to to get in. someone was trying to to get in. a bat hid behind your door, and you ran over to grab it before leaving your bedroom. you looked over your shoulder, into every room, but you didn't see anything. the kitchen was dark once you walked into it, and as you went to flick the lights on, you felt a strong hand on your hip that pulled you back, covering your mouth with their other hand.

the bat was ripped from your hands by a second person, and you screamed, but the hand covering your mouth was gloved and masked the sound. you could feel the captors heart beating and their chest rise and fall.

“sorry I'm late,”

it was abby. abby who followed you through your house and abby whose hand was over your mouth. the lights flicked on and you were faced with a different person, dressed in a ghost face mask and it's matching rags. you pushed out of abby's grip and turned to face her, realizing that she also had a mask on.

“what the fuck abby?” you quietly shrieked. “what was that? you scared me.” the light caught the knife in her hand, and suddenly a pit developed in your stomach. it was fear, flat, undoubtable, fear. “why do you have a knife?” she walked towards you slowly until your back was against the wall.

“don't worry baby, we're just gonna play,” her large body encased you. “you remember ellie, don't you sweet girl?” you nodded slowly, tears welling up in your tear ducts. “my poor baby, don't cry, we're gonna be real nice to you.” when she said that, you finally came to the realization as to what was happening. this is why abby loves the scary movies. she likes the control; the fear. you relaxed. “do you trust me, pretty girl?” you looked at her through the mask and nodded slowly. “do you trust me to not hurt you?” you nodded again.

“let's play then, baby.”

that's how you ended up here, on your back, with ellie on your face and abby between your legs. ellie had a hand in your hair, forcing you to look up at her while you ate her out. she was grinding down on your tongue, chanting your name as she chest rose and fell quickly. she had definitely already come, but she was using you to get off.

abby, however, had a strap buried deep in your cunt. you two hadn't used a strap before, you didn't even know where she got it, all you knew and could think about was how much she was filling you. the mask was still covering her face, but you almost got off to it. she had your legs pushed up to your chest, drilling her hips into your ass over and over, going even after your orgasm had lit up your body.

finally she let up, but you knew you weren’t even close to done. ellie got off your face and they both looked at each other, as if they were coming to a conclusion by just looking at each other, then they both looked over at you. abby discarded her mask and tossed it into the pile of clothes, loosening the harness from her hips and throwing it along with everything else. “get up,” ellie said, replacing you as you stood up. “sit on my face, sweets. face abby like the pretty thing you are.” the position was weird, but somehow it worked. you were backwards on ellie’s face, but her skilled tongue still managed to find everything you needed just right.

abby lifted ellie’s leg up, shifting herself between her lifted leg and her dripping center, rolling her hips down until they were both moaning. with the hand that wasn’t keeping ellie’s leg steady, abby grabbed you by the throat and brought your lips to hers, moaning into your mouth as your tongues met. ellie was so good at eating pussy, you almost didn’t want to pick between her and abby. maybe tonight meant that you could have both of them whenever you wanted.

ellie fucked you with her tongue while her thumb found your clit, spreading your wetness and her saliva over it and rubbing in rhythmic, slow circles. you were all but pushing all your weight onto abby, who was still riding ellie’s pussy. now, though, her head was back, neck exposed. you regained your headspace slightly, just enough to run your lips along her neck and suck. your lips traveled to her tits, marking her in a way you hadn’t before.

you stopped as soon as you felt your orgasm building quickly, instead opting for your previous option of grabbing her for support. it seemed as if you both were in the same boat, because her face scrunched up in focus, like it did every time she came. your head was on her shoulder as you came, whimpering at just how good it felt. ellie didn’t let a drop miss her tongue.

abby stood up, and you zoned in on how both of their pussies were covered in each other’s cum. your pupils were wide, your mouth was basically hanging open with drool. abby looked at you and chuckled. “wanna clean me up, sweetheart?” you got up from the bed and kneeled in front of her, assuming that’s what she wanted you to do, and waited for her to spread her legs. she leaned against the wall and propped her leg up on your shoulder, letting you lap at her until everything was gone. it tasted so good, so much like abby with a hint of ellie. it was the perfect blend.

though you wanted to lick up ellie too, she had already cleaned off with a bed sheet. “I have one more thing to try, if you’re up for it, baby.” you nodded profusely, and both girls looked at each other with a smirk. “get on the edge of the bed in doggy.” you did as told, putting your knees on the edge of the bed and arching your back so that your face was in the comforter. “good girl,” abby cooed, reaching down to pick up her harness and clip it on again. ellie also pulled one out from the jumble of clothes, and you wondered where hers was going to go. in the bedside drawer, abby pulled out a small bottle of lube, which she must have snuck in at some point earlier in the day to prepare.

earlier, when all of this started, you didn’t need lube, so you couldn’t understand what that was for. until both girls walked behind you. you felt the tip of one of their straps rubbing against your ass and you leaped forward, ill prepared. “this is gonna be a big stretch, baby, but my sweet girl can take it, can’t she?” you hummed at abby’s words, sucking in a harsh breath as her strap entered a new place. it was certainly different, but it felt so good. it was just the stretch you wanted, and it got even better when you felt ellie running the tip of her strap up and down your folds.

when ellie pushed her strap into you along with abby’s, the earth froze. “fuck, babe, look at your slut,” from what you could see, they were both admiring the way your stretched for them. You weren’t going to deny that it hurt a little, but with the way they were looking at you and the way ellie kept hitting exactly where you needed to plus the stretch of both of them, it made up for the slight discomfort.

once they gained a rhythm, you had them railing you at the same time, strokes hard and fast, with ellie’s large, skinny hands wrapped around your waist to keep you up. your hands grasped the bedsheets tightly, listening to your body as you neared closer and closer to finishing. there was another feeling building, one you hadn’t felt before, but you made an effort to ignore it. The closer you got, the noisier you became, moaning and grunting with every thrust until you were twitching on the edge of release.

the weird feeling that you were ignoring came back hard and fast, sitting somewhere strange in your bladder. it was like the urge to pee, but with some form of pleasure to it. they pulled it out of you with their harshness, making you squirt hard as you finished. you rolled your hips back at how strong your orgasm was, tears running down your face and creating a pool on the comforter.

you felt strangely empty as they both pulled out, unclipping both of their harnesses yet again and tossing them. “you did such a good job angel. let’s get cleaned up.” you all showered together, then abby surprised you with matching pajamas. ellie was packing up her stuff and you frowned.

“stay,” you said, and she looked up at you and smiled. “we can watch a movie. you can leave in the morning. don’t drive home in the dark.” she sat her backpack down and climbed into bed with the both of you. abby rolled over to grab the remote and turned on scream, just for the irony.

taglist: @inukastan1 @elliecoochieeater @pepperflakess @hastasupern0va @jazzys19 @purring4elliewilliams @decaffeinatedclodbagelweasel @lonelyfooryouonly @heyimrye (if your not tagged it said your account did not exist, I apologize)

[dinogoofymutated]

NSFW!nightcrawler/GN!AFAB!reader

This is my fic for mine and @pompeii-for-elephants ' fic exchange!! Hope you like it!!! I know I said I was surprised at myself when I wrote the cable smut, but this??? HOT DAYMN. Also, special thanks to @blue-devil-of-the-lord for their guide on german phrases for Kurt!

TWS: MNDI!!! Very tender Sex, PNV sex, shower handjobs, praise, cowgirl position, Nipple sucking, creampie. Kurt Wagner marry me I'm begging you

 You hated goodbyes, but worse than the goodbyes was the waiting. The nail-biting, anxious, unbelievably horrid waiting. 

  Kurt had been off on a mission with Logan and Rogue for about two weeks. You know it could be worse, understanding that some of these missions can take months at a time, but still. It was hard, being away from him for so long. You worried constantly about how he was, if he was okay, and if he needed anything. The moments where your mind was busy were moments of relief, as when you let your mind wander it always wandered back to him. 

  You’ve just dismissed your class for the day when Jean psychically gives you confirmation that the group of them would be coming home today, and you can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. You’re almost done grading assignments when you hear the jet above the school and practically scramble out of your chair. You hastily turn off the light and close the door, speed-walking down the hallway and then down the stairs to the bottom floor. You’re almost at the steps of the basement when you hear a *Bamf!* from behind you. You practically skid to a stop, whipping around and catching sight of Kurt with an excited smile.

  You’re the first to tackle him into a hug. He hisses in a bit of pain, and you quickly try to pull away when you realize that he’s hurting. He’s not having any of it though, keeping you held tightly against his chest as he holds you close.

  “Ich habe dich vermisst.” Kurt says, pressing his face into your hair and breathing you in. “I went to your classroom, but it seems that I had been just a tad too late.” You laugh at that, giving him a gentle squeeze before pulling away just enough to see his face. His smile is contagious, and you cup his cheek lovingly, rubbing your thumb against a dark bruise that looks to be forming under his cheekbone. 

 “Sorry to lead you on a chase. How are you feeling?” You ask. Kurt hums, turning his head to press a kiss to your palm. 

  “Better now that I’ve seen you, Schatz.” You cock an eyebrow at that, and all he does is give you an innocent smile, albeit a tired one. You’re trying to be reasonable here, but god if it wasn't for a wave of cuteness aggression. You catch his lips in a kiss, so very thankful to have him back home. Kurt eagerly returns it, and you’ve certainly forgotten that this is still a school at this point. On cue, there’s a cough from somewhere behind you, and you separate from Kurt, only slightly embarrassed to be caught. It’s Logan, giving the two of you a knowing look and a bit of a smirk as he crosses his arms.

 “Sorry to interrupt the reunion, but you’re still needed for the mission report, elf.” Logan says. Kurt winces, and you frown at the thought of being away from him again. But, procedures were in place for a reason. Kurt kisses you on the cheek, taking your hands in his just briefly before he has to leave.

The whole afternoon has gone by with Kurt still caught up with his responsibilities. You’re getting ready for the shower with only a towel wrapped around you when you hear Kurt enter your shared room. He gives you a greeting that sounds tired, and you can’t help but peek out of the bathroom door, spotting sweet Kurt as he sighs and sits on the bed, exhausted. You try not to stare as he begins to take off his suit, but it’s admittedly hard. You frown at seeing his exhaustion, and the dark purple bruises that he reveals as he peels out of the clothing. You think for a moment, but come up with something you decide was more than fair.

  “I’ll see you as soon as I can, Ja?” He whispers. You nodd, smiling in a way you hope is rather reassuring. He smiles back, before following Logan back into the basement.

  “Hey, Kurt?” You ask sweetly, leaning against the doorway. 

  “Yes, love?” He asks. He does a double take when he looks up, giving you a tired smile once his surprise wears off.

  “Join me?” You add on. His bright smile is all you need as an answer, and he scrambles to get out of the suit faster as you walk back into the bathroom. He teleports behind you as you start the water, dragging you backward into his arms to make you giggle.

  “Let me help you with that, Mein Schatz.” Kurt says as he unravels the towel from you. He hangs it on the rack before turning back to you, and you can’t help but get closer to him, holding his face in your hands as you place a kiss on his forehead. His yellow eyes watch you fondly, his hands falling on your hips and his tail swaying happily as you hold him. Your hands stroke his cheekbones, before trailing down to his chest, rubbing your thumbs across his collarbones as you look at the bruises on his chest and abdomen. You frown, trailing a hand to the area to gingerly stroke the skin.

  “You let Hank check you out?” You ask. Kurt nods, taking your hand in his own and pressing it over his heart.

  “Alles ist gut, Don’t worry for me, Liebchen. I’ll heal soon enough.” He says, and you sigh at him, giving him a concerned look. Kurt had always been a defender and protector, and yet he still brushed off his aches and pains. Even now he stands here, telling you not to worry. He gives you a sheepish smile, brushing a hand through your hair soothingly.

  “It’s wash night. Let me wash your hair for you?” He asks. You smile, but shake your head before pulling him to the shower.

  “I was hoping I could take care of you tonight.” You say. Kurt simply chuckles in response, following you into the warm stream of water. You start by washing his hair, being careful around his ears and eyes when you rinse. Kurt has no complaints as you lavish him with attention, almost purring as you wash him and cover him in suds. You turn him around to wash his back, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades before continuing. You can’t help but be a little cheeky, hands trailing down south, teasing the skin around his hipbones before sliding back to grab a handful of his ass. Kurt jumps a little but only laughs, his tail swatting your hands away.

  “Cheeky.” He remarks, and you can tell he’s smiling. You let out a small “Can you blame me?” before your hands travel back around his front. You kiss the back of his neck sweetly as your hands wander up and down his abdomen. Kurt sighs as he leans back into you, relaxing in your arms.

  Your hands begin to wander, trailing down to his cock as you just barely brush your fingers along his length. Kurt gasps, tail curling around one of your thighs as his head leans back.

  “Schatz…”

  “Tell me to stop, and I will.” You whisper into his ear, hands moving to his thighs, tracing the sensitive skin. “I know you’re tired, so just… let me know.”

  “No... no. Please, continue.” He begs, the tip of his tail swaying idly between your thighs. You kiss the skin below his ear as you begin to caress him again, gently stroking him to hardness amongst the soapy suds. His gasps and choked moans are lighting a fire inside of you as you stoke the one in him. You nip and suck on the sensitive skin of his ear, addicted to the feeling of him against you, and the sounds he makes in your hold. 

  He lets out a curse as you thumb the head of his cock, collecting a bead of precum as you stroke it back down his shaft. Your other hand drifts a bit lower, teasing his balls before you give them a gentle squeeze. Kurt lets out a little “-ah!” and a whine as you build him closer and closer to the finish line. His cock twitches in your hands, his breath coming in shaky pants. His hands reach back for your thighs, clenching and unclenching as he reaches closer to his peak. You pick up the pace of your strokes, and he lets out a loud whine when he cums. You stroke and kiss him through it, sucking a hickey into his skin as his hips thrust and legs shake. His cum coats your fingers when you’re finished, sticky and creamy in consistency. 

  “Feel better?” You ask. Kurt chuckles in response, taking one of your hands in his own, still coated in his cum. He kisses it before ducking it into the stream of water, cleaning your hands off before he turns around and kisses you. His tail wraps around your waist as he draws you as close as possible, only letting you go once he's had his fill.

  “Let me have you,” He whispers. “Please.” You're breathless at the words, biting your lip as you think it over. You kiss him again, and then a second time for good measure.

  “I don't want you to strain yourself. You've had a long day.” You tell him. Kurt pouts at you. His tail tightens slightly around your waist. You sigh with a smile at the look he gives you, his eyes half-lidded and needy. 

  “Okay, but I just want you to lay back and relax, alright? Let me do the work.” Your palms are set on his pecs, slowly sliding up and down the area. “Let me take care of you for a change.” You whisper. Kurt smiles at you, his tail unwrapping from your waist as he backs you up to the wall of the shower. He's got you cornered into the wall, and he brings a hand up, shutting off the water after pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

  “As you wish.” He says.

  It's hard to keep up with what's happening between the shower and the bed, but once his back hits the sheets, you're engulfing him in love and praise, thankful to have him home and happy to serve him pleasure on a silver platter.

“You're so pretty, Kurt.” You hum, actively kissing across his fuzzy abs, a hand tracing the soft hair of his happy trail as you pay extra attention to the deep bruises he came home with. Kurt’s chest heaves, his hands clenching the pillow at his head as you lavish him in attention. The sight of him was stunning. Deep blue skin and pretty black curls… Kurt gasps underneath you as you drag your teeth bluntly across his nipple, and you can't help but smile at the sound. He's rock hard underneath you, flushed a pretty purple at his tip as his cock stands at attention. You don't let him stay painfully hard, stroking him slowly to scratch that itch he so desperately deserves to have scratched. 

  One of his hands unclenches from the pillow as you start to press kisses to his cock, teasing and licking the skin. The limb flexes by his hip, and you take the invitation to lace his fingers between your own. It was a bit awkward to figure out when the two of you first started dating, but there was no mountain you weren't willing to climb if it meant returning the love he gave you in such abundance. You know he would do the same for you if the roles were reversed. You stroke him a few final times, kissing the sensitive head of his cock and sucking it into your mouth as one last effort to hear him whine before you’re straddling him.

  You grind your wet folds against his cock, perhaps a little more sensitive than usual. Kurt's lost in a world of pleasure, desperately trying to keep his eyes open to watch you. You're absolutely soaked, already feeling like you could take him in entirely, but you continue to grind against him, spreading your slick across his shaft to make sure that there won't be any struggle on either end. His other hand comes down to rest on your hip, kneading the skin as you move. You squeeze your intertwined hands, resting your free one on top of the one he's placed on your hip.

  “I love your hands, you know that?” You murmur. Kurt responds with a moan as his hips jerk up, moving against yours. “-and your arms, your tail, and fuzz and- a-ah…” You bite your lip as the head of his cock catches on your clit. You're beginning to get impatient, even though you were the one who chose this pace in the first place. He just felt so good and warm against you- hitting all the right spots without even being inside you yet.

  “Please, love, let me- hng… I enjoy your words, and your praise, but perhaps too much. Spare me, please.” Kurt breathes. His grip on your hip has gotten rather tight, his tail winding around your thigh once again, like he does when he doesn't quite know what to do with it. He's waiting for you, you realize, and you want to do nothing more than kiss him silly.

  Instead, you do exactly what he asks for, and spare him. The head of his cock notches against your slit before he slides in without any effort, settling in comfortably for the both of you. Both of your moans greet the air at the action, surprised at the utter lack of resistance. You'd think that you'd have to be well prepared for this kind of thing, but no, seems that all you needed was Kurt.

  “That was… You feel…” Kurt’s struggling to get the words across, his eyes fluttering closed at the pleasure. You're trying your hardest not to balance yourself by leaning on him as you begin to slowly work your hips.

  “Believe- me, you did most of the -ah- work, handsome.” You say breathlessly. Kurt’s yellow eyes flicker open as you start moving earnestly, watching you ride him with conviction. Both of you moan when he happens to hit that spongy spot inside of you that feels so good. 

  “Danke, danke… Love- ah, fuck!” Kurt moans, his voice coming out breathlessly toward the end of his sentence. He doesn't curse like that very often, and it makes a flicker of heat light you up from the inside.

  “So good Kurt, you feel so good.” You gasp, each bounce of your hips causing his cock to stroke your insides just right. His hand on your hip begins to move up to your waist before it goes further to just barely brush against your sensitive nipples. You gasp again at the feeling, letting out an almost embarrassing moan.

  You're caught by surprise as Kurt is sitting up, letting go of your other hand to push you against him. He leans forward, his tail now flicking excitedly behind him as he sucks and nips at the skin of your chest. You rest your hands against his shoulders as you pick up the pace of your hips, addicted to the feeling of Kurt’s hums and moans as he sucks on your nipples.

  “I’m…I'm close-” Kurt barely separates from your body to say the words, his hands clenching against you has he begins to tense and twitch.

  “Ye-Yeah?” You ask, one hand tangling itself in his still-damp hair. “Okay, handsome- ah- I've got you.” You can feel him begin to twitch inside of you, each and every movement bringing both of you to your peaks. Kurt lets go of your chest as he kisses his way up to your mouth, catching you in an urgent and passionate kiss.

  “Cum for me, please.” You say in between his kisses. He simply moans in response as your hips begin to falter, a telltale sign that you're about to reach that sweet, sweet pleasure.

  Kurt cums first, tensing and shaking underneath you as spurts of his cum warm your insides. He brings a thumb to your clit to help you meet your own orgasm as you work him through his. Stars flash in your eyes as you hit that peak of pleasure, grinding against him, once, twice, three more times before you collapse against his chest. Kurt chuckles contently beneath you, rubbing your back and kissing the parts of you he can reach as you rest against him.

  “You okay?” You ask the moment you're back down to earth again. “I didn't hurt you in any way, did I?” Kurt shakes his head at you, leaning back to look you in the eyes.

  “No, not at all, Liebling.” He says fondly. “I'm not sure you could if you tried.” You can't help but smile at that, sighing into him as you rest against his chest. It feels good to have him back. He slips out of you before he lays both of you back down against the cushions, where you take your chance to pepper his face with kisses.

  “Ich liebe dich.” He says softly. “So much. Much more than you know.”

  “I love you more.”

[vanesycho]

• drunk bsf!san x f!reader | m.list

| you're alone on valentine's day with your best friend

warning | smut, drunk san being needy over reader, unprotected sex, p in v

word count | 1,1k

a/n | late 14th february post, enjoy reading!

Laughter filled the living room as San took another sip of his drink "no, really. why didn't you go with Seonghwa? he's a nice guy, you could have had a great time." you paused for a while at his question. he had invited you to an amusement park this valentine's day but you weren't sure you wanted to be with him. It made more sense to spend time with your friend San instead.

"I just didn't want to. besides..I'm not sure If I want to date with him, I'd just be toying with his feelings." San made a noise of agreement, leaning his head back on the couch and looking at you for a long time as you poured new drinks in front of him. the moment you turned around he gave a short smile, took the drink you offered him and unexpectedly kissed your cheek "thanks, I guess? now I'm not alone either." you chuckled and punched his arm mockingly "you know I wouldn't leave you alone."

almost an hour passed. San was already tipsy. his arms were tightly wrapped around your waist and he kept mumbling something "who told you to drink so much? look at you." he ignored your angry tone and looked up at you with a slight smile. his narrowed eyes, cheeks red from drinking and lips puckering when he spoke caught your attention. at that moment you tried to understand if the burning sensation in your body was from drinking or him.

"can I kiss you?" the sentence he mumbled made you swallow hard. "what?" his eyes went to your lips for a moment, "whatever, I'm sorry..I guess I'm drunk." he buried his head in your neck and let out a small whimper. you, on the other hand, pushed him away from you before you could get over the shock of the incident. "do you want to kiss me?"

San was silent for a while, his hand went to his hair nervously "I mean look at us, we're getting drunk on valentine's day as two friends, who would believe this?" his voice wasn't too loud but his anger was obvious "what do you want us to do?" he let out a breath in response to your question, then slowly approached you, he seemed cautious, he was trying to measure your movements but he couldn't stop himself either. "I don't know..I can't think straight right now." his eyes momentarily fell to your lips again, he supported himself with one hand on the ground and reached for your lips, you just realized at that moment that you were holding your breath.

It didn't take long before you felt his warm, alcohol-soaked lips on you. his hand immediately found your neck and pulled you closer to him, pulling you into a hungrier kiss. his wet kisses moved to your neck after a while, slowly laid you down and lay on top of you without putting too much of his weight on you. every spot he kissed seemed to burn your already hot body "can I take off your shirt?" the way he asked and his innocent looks did not match what he said at all. the hunger behind the sweet gazes had already driven you crazy, so you took off your shirt yourself.

San swallowed hard, he wasn't sure about bringing his hand closer to your bare chest, but when you grabbed his wrist and guided him, he breathed a sigh of relief. while one hand lingered on one of your breasts, he made eye contact before wetting the other with his tongue. then his tongue started to move slowly on your nipple, after the small tongue strokes, he took your breast into his mouth, made sure to wet it enough and erection your nipple, then lifted his head and placed a wet kiss on your lips. "take off your pants, please..."

you did as he said without making him and yourself wait too long. In the meantime, San had also taken off everything he was wearing, watching you with hunger. then he quickly took you in his arms and laid you on the couch next to you, spread your legs apart and got between them, then without breaking eye contact, his hand went between your legs. his fingers moved through the wetness to your hole and without waiting too long, San thrust his fingers inside you. "ah..you feel so warm and tight.." the sentence he mumbled to himself was enough for you to hear. he started moving his fingers inside you without waiting too long, waited for you to get used to it but he didn't know how much his erect cock with pre-cum flowing down could take it.

"san..." the moment you said his name it was like the world stopped for him, even though being heard so needy embarrassed you, you didn't break eye contact. "please...I want you" he was taken a back at first but it didn't take long for him to pull his fingers out of you and direct his cock to your hole. he put one hand on the side of your head for support and leaned over you, his cheeks were still red, his lips were slightly parted and he was breathing in ragged breaths, his eyes continued to look into yours with need. you let out a loud moan with the fullness that came when he started to put half of his cock inside you "fuck- I'm sorry.." San watched your reactions to whether he should continue or not, after getting used to the fullness inside you for a while he didn't hold himself back when you moved your hips towards him and pushed all of it inside you and started to move slowly.

the inside of the living room was now surrounded not only by the smell of alcohol but also by your moans and the smell of sex. San breathed hotly on your neck, the kisses he placed in between made you feel even more embarrassed that his cock was inside you right now. "you're so..good..you're so beautiful..I..fuck- I-I love you." even though you couldn't understand the words he said between his moans at that moment, the last sentence made you pause "what did you say?"

San lifted his head "Is this a wrong time to say it?" a loud moan filled the room as his cock hit your pleasure spot, he smiled slightly and continued to hit the same spot. hand found yours and intertwined your fingers, after a few strokes he made sure you were cummed and then after he came on your stomach. as you both try to catch your breath, he rested on top of you for a while, your hand found his hair and mumbled "I love you too." a giggle was heard from him, he looked into your eyes one last time before pulling you into a long kiss.

[writtenbymoonflower]

Dinner

You have a panic attack and your boys comfort you. poly!maruaders x fem!reader

cw: panic attack, negative self talk, swearing, mention of raw chicken (ew ik)

1.7k words (it's long i'm sorry)

You never thought you would cry over chicken, but here you were. You knew that you had been having a lot of busy days as of late, there were a million things swimming about in your head. But you were managing it well, or at least you thought you were. But then it all came down.

You had bought a pack of chicken earlier in the week to cook for dinner one night. It had been on clearance so you knew it was  on its way out, but you thought you would’ve had more time. You opened your fridge so you could begin cooking before your boyfriends were going to get too hungry, when you realized that the meat was out of date by a whole three days. It was something so small, yet, it sent a billion anxious thoughts jumping around your head like they were on pogo sticks, and most of them were not very nice. 

How could you be so stupid? You should’ve checked the date. If you hadn't been so lazy earlier this week you wouldn’t be wasting this food. Now there was nothing to cook and your boyfriends would go hungry. They would likely end up resenting you for being a shit girlfriend and being so-

“Dolly? What are you doing over there?” Usually Sirius’ voice was a comfort to you, but right now it just added to your misery. It reminded you of all your failures and why you would never be good enough for anyone. 

Tears started filling your eyes. You tried to still your shaking hands and even your breathing, but it was all too much. They were going to realize your mistake and were going to be angry. His footsteps were painful and your other boyfriends’ laughter in the other room made you wince. When Sirius finally was facing you, your attempt at a facade fell apart. He knew you too well and apparently your body just decided to give over to panic because you suddenly couldn’t catch your breath. You tried to mutter out an apology but your voice was caught in your throat and your pulse was hammering. 

“ Hey.” Sirius’ dark brows scrunched in concern, his gray eyes searching your face and scanning your body for any injury. “What’s wrong?” His voice was raised in panic as you stood and shook. 

Apparently Sirius’ voice triggered your other two boyfriends to barrel into the room, but you refused to look at any of them, opting to hold the chicken package behind your back and stare at the ground. James thought you looked like a small child standing in front of a broken glass, ready to be reprimanded and punished. It made his heart ache. 

“Baby,” Sirius continued to beg for a response. “What’s happened? You’re scaring me.” Remus placed a soothing hand on his partner’s back while James scooted past the both of them to grab your shoulders and stoop to see your face. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Sweetheart, can you look at me?” James spoke softly. He was just as concerned as the other two, but James was better at keeping his head, even though inside he wanted to sob seeing you like this. You swallowed thickly and looked up at him. 

“There you go.” Remus whispered encouragement from behind James. Your chest was still heaving and you were still crying, but now they could read your face better. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I-” You choked out, hoping that if you spoke about your failure early enough they might forgive your mistake.

“Hey, not right now. Just focus on me, honey. I think you’re having a panic attack, I need you to try and steady your breathing.” James motioned the other two over, Remus getting behind you and pulling you both to the ground so he could rock you in his lap. Sirius and James sat and each took one of your hands, James putting the one he was holding on his chest, while Sirius put the other on yours. (After throwing the chicken on the counter, opting to ask questions after you could speak again.) You stifled another sob from wracking your body. 

“We’ve got you, sweet girl. Just copy Prongs’ breaths, yeah?” Sirius used his free hand to tilt your chin up to meet the eyes of the two boys in front of you. You could feel James’ chest rising and falling as he took deep, exaggerated breaths. Your first few were shaky and clumsy, but soon you were finally able to get a comfortable amount of air in your lungs and your tears slowed to a stop. You still felt guilty, but at least now your head wasn’t so loud. You pulled your hands back into your lap.

“There you go,” Remus soothed from behind you. “Atta girl.” He pressed gentle kisses all over the side of your neck. You could see the two boys in front of you visibly relax at your now calmer state. “Good girl, you did so well. I know that was scary.” Remus turned so you were sitting sideways in his lap and you could see all three of the boys sitting around you. 

“ Thank you for helping.” You said sheepishly, looking down at your fidgeting hands. “I’m sorry I did that, I know it was a lot.” 

“None of that.” Sirius said firmly. “It’s not your fault, baby. You didn’t do it to be bad, you have nothing to be sorry for.” 

Wrong. You thought to yourself, remembering the spoiled food now sitting on the counter. 

“Can you tell us what happened, lovely?” James ducked his gaze to meet yours, his brown eyes were sad and confused and swimming with all too much love. 

You really didn’t want to admit your mistake, but they deserved an explanation for your erratic behavior. 

“It’s really nothing that bad.” You tried to console, as if you weren’t the one shaking on the floor not two minutes ago. “I was just-” You swallowed hard again. “I was being stupid.” You went back to picking at your nails. Your self-deprecating comment made Remus raise an eyebrow and Sirius lightly pinch your thigh. 

“You weren’t. You’re never stupid, be nice.” Remus (lovingly) scolded. 

“I was just, I bought this chicken.” You struggled to keep your breathing even. “I bought this chicken earlier this week and I was going to cook it, but I was too lazy these last few days and I fucked up and I-” You bit hard on your lip to keep from crying again. James desperately wanted to reprimand you for your self-cruelty, but he settled for grabbing Sirius’ hand and squeezing, not wanting to cut you off. 

“Go on, sweetheart. Take your time.” James spoke even softer. 

“I let the chicken go bad. I wanted to cook tonight but when I went to grab the chicken it was bad and I just- I just felt bad because I can’t do anything right. I had all week to make it and now I can’t cook for you all and I just- I just feel bad.” You took another deep breath, still not wanting to meet their eyes.

“Oh, my baby.” Sirius lunged forward, wrapping you in his arms before you could even process what was happening. Remus huffed grumpily over you being stolen from his lap, but let it go. “That’s what you were all worked up about? That’s why you were all scared?” You nodded, your face still stuck in the crook of his neck. 

“It’s okay,” James soothed, now smoothing a gentle path up and down your back. “That happens to everyone, sweetheart. It’s not something you need to be mad at yourself for. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you weren’t lazy. You’ve been busy and tired. It just happens.” James thought he could cry, his girl was so hard on herself that she was all panicked over something like this. 

“Exactly.” Remus said. “It’s nothing we can’t fix, dove. We can go to the store tomorrow and you can make it then.” You started to protest, wanting to go tonight but you were quickly cut off. “Tomorrow.” Remus was firm, but no less kind. “You aren’t doing any work tonight. You need to rest. We’ll figure something out for dinner, it’s no trouble.” 

You were going to argue but you figured it was a losing battle. 

“Thought you would be mad at me.You should be mad at me. I fucked u-” You couldn’t even finish the sentence before James squawked, Sirius sputtered, and Remus inhaled sharply. Sirius forced your head out of his neck to look at you. 

“What?!” He looked genuinely offended.

“Lovely,” James was the one who formed a full sentence. “We would never be mad at you for something like this. Never.” He grabbed your chin to make you look at him. “Look at us, sweet girl. No ones mad at you. We care about you, not a pack of chicken. It’s not worth you being this mean to yourself, nothing is.” He pouted during the last sentence. 

“Also,” Sirius said, still being very gentle. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t just about chicken, dollface. You’ve been really stressed lately.” 

“And you’ve been really hard on yourself. You always have been, but it’s gotten worse.” Remus’ voice sounding sad. You knew he was right though. 

“I know.” You sighed, dejectedly. “I’ll try to be better.” You gave them all a tight-lipped smile. 

“That’s what we mean!” James whined. “You don’t need to ‘be better.’ You just need to be gentle with yourself.” 

“It’s just hard.” You admitted. 

“I know it is, baby.” Sirius empathized. Then his face morphed into his usual grin. “How about, we all lead by example. I know I can be very nice to you.” He took your cheeks in both his hands and started pressing kisses all over your face. You giggled wetly, trying to squirm out of his grasp. “There, like that. Nice.”

“I don’t know how she is gonna do that, Pads. It’s hard to kiss your own face.” Remus attempted (and failed) to keep the amused tilt out of his voice. 

“Oh no!” James dramatically gasped. “I guess we’ll just have to.” He beamed, taking your jaw in his hand to smear even more kisses on your cheeks.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Stark Contrast 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, lies, age gap, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: your online friend isn't who he claims to be.

Characters: Tony Stark

Sister series to Captain's Orders

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

It's been a long day. Every day seems longer than the last. All that overtime is adding up. It's needling right at the base of your neck.

Unclench your jaw. You keep forgetting. The pressure makes your head hurt. You rub your eye socket and yawn as you drag your feet down the dark pavement.

You approach your building and look at the heel of your hand, mascara smeared on your skin, no doubt across your face too. Oh well, you're home. Not necessarily the perfect haven but a place to be alone.

You bob in the elevator to the music in your headphones. You step off and keep your head down in a lazy shuffle down the hallway. You unlock your door and spin inside, letting the song play out as you hang your jacket and purse. You kick of your sneakers and drift into the kitchen, mindlessly searching for something quick to eat.

You detach your headphones from your phone and take them off. You let the music drone as you mull over the effort to cook a box of processed mac and cheese. You pause the music and scroll through your feed. Nothing interesting. You let a live feed play. You never pay much attention to the new but it's good white noise. 

You pull down your notification bar. Oh shoot. You forgot to answer the last message.

You'd been chatting with Eddie during your lunch but had to get back to the grind. Those bougie middle-aged women won't find those overpriced candles themselves. Then they'll complain that the Martha Stewart limited edition is sold out. Oh, to have such simple problems.

You blink as the video plays in a little box floating over the chat. 

'Sorry. Got caught up at work. Just seeing this now. Hope you have a good night.' You send the message and pull the video into fullscreen.

He doesn't always answer at night. Or sometimes for days. He's pretty busy. An engineer or something. You met on some discord when Elden Ring dropped.

You narrow your eyes at the stream. You swear every time you see a screen, Tony Stark is on it. There he is now, giving a presser to a fawning crowd of reporters.

He claps his hand to his chest pocket and gives a subtle look down as he slides out his phone. He drops it back in and shrugs at his adoring audience, "I'm a busy guy, what can I say?"

They laugh, unbothered by his distraction. You turn back to your search for an easy meal. Oh, you still have that frozen pizza. This late, it'll make your chest burn in the morning but you don't care.

You preheat the oven and go to your phone, agitated by the murmur of the reporters and their softball questions. You don't have a problem with the man or his mighty band of Avengers, hey, they do their best. It's this whole celebrity shell around them. The sort that has half the population is a dysfunctional parasocial relationship.

You switch to a reality show that pits home bakers against each other. It's a bad choice. It stokes your already twisting hunger and sparks your sweet tooth. You never shy away from a treat. Good thing you don't have any.

The stove beeps as the subtle smell of smoke rises. You figure it's not that bad if the alarm isn't going. You put the pizza in and swipe up your phone. You pace around and check your news feed. There's a new Amiibo out. Nope, you will not get suckered into another money grab. You're save. Not for anything special, just rent. Another price hike. The next one might put you out.

You pizza finishes and your phone buzzes. You cut it into uneven slices and take a few on a paper towel. You flop onto the couch and read Eddie's response.

'I get it. Probably out on a date with a hot guy. Or lady. No judgment.'

You shake your head. He's such and idiot sometimes. 'Nah. You're awake?'

'You know I don't sleep.'

You wouldn't guess it by his erratic responses. If anything, you'd only assume he doesn't keep a routine. His bouts of activity are unpredictable.

'Let's not talk about work.' He replies before you can. The next message is a mood. 'I'm over it.'

'Sure. What do we talk about? You gonna help me co-op Starscourge Radahn? You never log on anymore.'

Your phone quakes as an audio call comes in. You nearly drop it as you opt to save the slice of pizza in your other hand first. You finally hit answer with your greasy thumb.

"Fair warning, I'm eating. I'm flipping starving," you say.

"You sound ravenous," Eddie says. "So, what's for... a very late dinner?"

"Pizza. Spinach and mozzarella."

"Order in?"

"Frozen," you mutter.

"Gross," he remarks. He's a bit of a snob. "You coulda hit me up. I'd send you some money for real food. I'm sure you've got a few shwarma places around that hellhole."

"Har har. If I'm so poor, why do you talk to me?"

"Good question. Can I think about it?" He snickers as you roll your eyes. "Look, sweetheart, I'm sorry about the video game--"

"You know, you sound like my dad."

"I do?" He nearly yelps.

"Sweetheart this. Video games. You talk like you were born in the 60s."

"I heard the 60s were pretty hip," he laughs.

"Hip? Oh you're definitely a catfish," you tease.

"How do I know you're not some desperate housewife using me for kicks?" He accuses.

"I sent you pics," you say.

"I've sent mine too," he retorts. "Alright, only solution here is to admit we're both catfish. You want me to order you good food and I want... uh, well, you're a good distraction."

"A good distraction? That's it?" You huff. "Thanks, Ed."

"I'm playing. You know I like you. I was just on my way to meet this tall blonde and I called you instead."

"Sure you were," you hiss. "You know, I had too long a day for you to be so annoying."

He cackles. You smile, just a bit. He really can be a butt. You don't know why you talk to him.

"How's the pizza? You want me to order you some real stuff yet?"

"Eddie," you sigh. It's a nice offer but you're not stupid. You don't give people on the internet your address. "That's too much."

"It's really not," he insists.

"To me it is." You drop the pizza and paper towel on the lone TV table by your ratty sofa. "You know, I get it, you're trying to be nice, but... you just kinda make me feel..."

"What? I make you feel... some sort of way, so that's good, right?"

"Ugh, don't. I get it, alright? I'm poor. Trash," you cross your arms and sit back. "Go and meet the tall blonde and have your fancy five star dinner."

He's quiet, "I was only messing with you."

"Well, maybe you should stop," you say as you sit forward and talk directly into your phone. "You obviously don't have the time for me. And a lot more important friends so--"

"Hey, come on, it's a joke--"

You hit end and toss your phone to the other end of the couch. You already know you overreacted. Shoot. Ugh.

It's just that stupid woman today, yelling at you over a bunny ornament, like the fact that is was put on the wrong shelf is your fault. You organise the shelves constantly but people don't care. They don't read either.

Your phone jitters again. You ignore and get up. You pack away the leftover pizza and put it in the fridge. That's your dinner for tomorrow, if not the next day.

God, why does he have to rub his money in your face? His super fun life. He went to Tokyo last week on a work trip.

You're a bitch. Insecure at that. It's probably best you cut free now. You wouldn't want to project all that on him. Besides, it's starting to feel like he only talks to you to make himself feel better. He shouldn't need that much help.

❤️

It's your own fault. You know it. Your worst and best trait is your crippling self-awareness. You know what you are, how you are, but it doesn't make it better.

You feel bad. You always do. Even if you're right, you feel rotten. You just don't like being like that. And what did Eddie do but joke around?

Did he have to keep offering to pay for you? Or mention that tall blonde?

Sigh. Just focus. You go back to putting the throw pillows back into the display basket. You watched a pair of kids toss them around for the last hour.

Life isn't easy and you should stop expecting it to be. That's your problem. You can't settle for what you have.

Julie, your manager comes by as you set the last of the pillows on those nearly overflowing the basket. You smile. She scowls.

"Your name tag's upside down," she points to your chest.

You look down. Oh jeez. You flip it around.

"Dress code infraction. Next time, I'll write you up." She warns.

"Sorry," you frown.

"There's customers. Smile."

As if one cue, the automatic doors open. You busy yourself with the next display, as if the napkin rings are that interesting. Julie snaps her fingers at Casey. He sniffs and tries to act like he didn't smoke up before he punched in.

"You're the greeter. Mind doing some greeting," she hisses.

"Oh, yeah," he stands and struts away from the lawn chair display, "hey, dude, like, hi. Welcome to The Home Hub. Anything I can help you-- woah, no way."

He starts laughing. You peek over your shoulder as Julie sighs. Casey coughs and clears his throat, "bro, am I high or is this dude Iron Man?"

You turn and narrow your eyes at the man. Goatee, sunglasses, a nice suit. He bears a striking resemblance to the man behind the podium at he presser the night before. You tilt your head. That's impossible.

"Casey, go to the warehouse and start downstocking," Julie sneers as she stomps forward. "I'm so sorry, sir. We-- Oh, oh. Oh my god, it is him."

She swoons and fans herself. Your eyes go wide as you give a goof smile. She's ridiculous.

"Hey, sweetheart," he purrs at her. "I'm looking for uh, a..." he takes off his sunglasses and glances around, "a bath mat."

"Bath mat? Uh. Oh, er..."

"You," he points in your direction. You turn to look for someone else behind you. "Show me."

You face him and Julie gives you a crazed sneer. You step away from the napkin rings. "Sure, uh, sir, they're in the back."

"Amazing," he winks as he approaches. There's something about his cadence. You never noticed on the screen, but it's familiar?

"Tony Stark, but I'm sure you already know," he says as he comes up next to you.

You continue down the centre aisle and nod, "yep, uh, kinda."

"Kinda?" He wonders.

"I mean, you're Iron Man or something, right?"

"Or something," he chortles. "You know what, on the second hand," he stops and checks out a silver statue of a naked Grecian goddess, "I think I came for this." He traces along her tits. "Don't make em like they used to, huh?"

He looks at you. No, he looks at your chest. You sputter.

"Bath mats are this way," you turn.

"Ah, come on, don't be like that FinchiePie."

You stop short. Your lashes flick and you gulp. How does he know your user name. You turn to look at him.

He adjusts his tie as he comes closer.

"You know, my middle name is Edward. Anthony Edward Stark."

You stare at him. No, it can't be. That's ridiculous.

"Eddie?" You rasp.

He puts his hands out and smirks, "it's a cute nickname, isn't it?"

"No."

"You left things a little tense. I don't like untied ends so..."

"It's a joke. A prank," you shake your head. "Is this what you do for fun?"

"I'm a funny guy, sweetheart, but I'm not joking right now," he comes closer. "Look, if I tell you the truth, that there was no tall blonde, that I was lying, will you give me a chance?"

You search his face. You're lost. Your disbelief muddles reality.

"This isn't real."

"You ever tried shwarma? It's so damn good."

"No, Eddie-- No, Tony?" Your eyes flit back and forth. "I... I gotta..." you spin and scurry away.

He calls your name. You can't stop. You run down the bath aisle and into the employee restroom. You twist the lock and stare at your baffled reflection.

"What the fuck?" You ask the person in the mirror.

[holdmytesseract]

daryl dixon x fem!reader

🪶 part five

warnings for this part: SMUT 18+! MDNI! inexperienced & insecure!Daryl, subish! Daryl? grinding, talks of virginity loss & slight trauma, Merle being Merle, mentions of paid sex, pet names, body worship, Daryl gets his first ever bj, premature ejaculation, soft smut (not entirely graphic but you know exactly what's going on), so much fluff & romance, swear words

pls let me know if i forgot anything!

You are responsible for your own consumption!

word count: 4,8k

a/n: well... things escalated again as you can see... pls be gentle, i don't write 'smut' that often and i'm absolutely no expert. hope you like it nevertheless!

i'd like to thank @ellasdixon again for giving me the spark of inspiration to write this mini series. it was an absolute joy to write it. 🧡

[ 🪶 part four ]

masterlist 🪶 EoH Masterlist

LITRM Masterlist 🪶 Daryl Masterlist

About one week - or more? Who knew? - later, you and Daryl enjoyed the last sunset down by the river, before you'd drive back to Alexandria in the morning. The past days had been wonderful; felt like a daydream, but slowly it was time to return to reality - like you and Daryl decided. Your communities needed you.

Now you sat in front of the crackling fire; cuddled against Daryl's side while you recalled the last few days. All the conversations you had. All the smiles, loving gestures, cuddles and kisses you exchanged. All the things you experienced together. Hunting, fishing, building a 'real' tent. Not the makeshift thing Daryl slept in before. Oh, and he taught you how to use his crossbow. It was wonderful - besides the few walkers that stumbled into your camp. But you had Dog and he was the best guard.

"That's nice," you whispered into the impending night; pressing your body closer against his side. You instantly felt his arm tightening around you. "Yeah?" His hand gently squeezed your upper arm. "Mhm," you hummed. "Everything we did the past days was nice. I love spending time with you." He nodded - something you weren't able to see, as he chewed on the inside of his bottom lip. "Yeah. It was. Loved it, too. Havin' ya tha' close to me..." You angled your face to smile up at him. Your lips found his then in a sweet kiss; naturally. Daryl had been quite a bit shy and reserved when it came to kissing, but he became braver and braver lately; gaining self-confidence and skills.

Your lips slotted against the archer's perfectly. Every kiss added to the love you already felt for him. The hairs of his beard tickled you as you tried to get even closer to him; not breaking the kiss once. Daryl didn't complain. He loved kissing you.

This was the first time, though, that you really got caught up in the situation. Got lost in the kiss. Neither of you noticed a thing - until you suddenly sat on Daryl's lap.

Uh.Oh.

"S-Sorry," you apologized on an instant, as soon as your brain had caught up. You cheeks tinted red. "I-I didn't mean to, uh...," you tried to explain and shook your head, before attempting to climb off of him again, but to your rather shockingly surprise Daryl didn't let you. His grip on your hips - which had been more than just loose until now, tightened; fingertips slightly digging into your clothed skin as he kept you anchored to him. "N-Nah, stay," he whispered in a husky voice.

Your eyes flickered to meet his to check if he truly meant what he just said and was comfortable with. Only then did you realize how wide blown his eyes were; iris swallowed whole by something deeper. Darker. But you didn't question it... Yet.

"You want me to... stay? Are you sure?" He nodded; a few wild curls falling into his face, which he flipped out again instantly. "Please." You gave him a small nod, "Okay." but were nevertheless a bit confused. He had never asked you that before. Okay, well, you didn't get this close until now, so... Fair enough.

"Jus'... Keep on kissin' me, please. Feels good. Right." You didn't answer him with words. You answered him with a smile and actions. Your lips were on his again within the blink of an eye. It was slow and cautious, but nevertheless intense and intimate. You got so incredibly lost. Again. Lost in him. In his touch. His scent. So lost, that you didn't notice his movements. At least not at first.

His grip on your hips still hadn't ceased. He kept you firmly on his lap. But his arms... His arms moved you back and forth slowly; making you grind against him. Once you noticed, you instantly parted your lips from his with a gasp; eyes wide. "D-Daryl? What are you... doing?" His gentle rocking immediately stopped and a blush spread over his entire face. "I-I dunno. 'M sorry, I jus'... I couldn't help m'self," he apologized - kinda embarrassed and shy. His wide blown eyes were signaling you a mix of desire and... fear?

You shook your head with a soft smile, "It's okay." and buried your hands in his neck. "You want this? More?" Daryl nodded; speechless and breathless. Your eyes scanned his face thoroughly, while your thumb caressed the apple of his cheek. "Are you absolutely sure about that? We can wait. We don't have to go down that path yet." The archer shook his head. "Want to. Want you. Needa feel it." A soft smile darted across your face; heart speeding up. The mere thought of being with him that way was enough to light the fire deep within your stomach.

"Okay," you spoke quietly and pressed a sweet, delicate kiss to his lips. "But not here. Inside." You jutted your head at the tent. "It's too risky out here. Don't want a walker stumbling in on us. And I want this to be cozy and comfy and perfect." The cutest smile you had ever seen spread over the archer's face as he lifted a hand from your hip to tuck a loose strand of hair gently out of your face; cupping your cheek. "'S already perfect."

You couldn't help but blush at his sweet words. Turning your head, you softly kissed his palm. "You deserve nothing less."

A lasting loving look was exchanged between you two, before you slowly shuffled to get up from his lap; stretching out your hand. "Come." Daryl instantly took your hand without hesitation and stood up. You thought shortly about extinguishing the fire, but it almost burned down anyway throughout your little... makeout session, so you decided to let it be. Daryl, on the other hand, didn't even think once about that. All he could think about was you and what was to come. All his blood had been rushing south; brain already fogged up. It was hard for him to think straight.

"Dog, be a good boy and keep watch," you told the Malinois, who had been laying beside you at the dying fire. He shortly lifted his head as if to give you an approving look, then stood up and trotted over to the tent; laying down again in front of it with his ears perked up.

You smiled, then redirected your full attention back to the man whose hand was still tucked neatly in yours; fingers intertwined. You started to move; gently tucking at Daryl's hand to lead him inside the tent.

He was totally devoted to you; having handed over the reins from the very beginning. His heart, body and soul lying in the palm of your hands - and you would make damn sure to treat him so right. He was trusting you blindly - so much that he let his guard come down. He was standing naked in front of you – metaphorically.

Your heart threatened to burst at this realization. So much love flooded your veins. You weren't able to put in words how much it meant to you that he trusted you so much. It was overwhelming.

Slowly, you walked him backwards and sat him down on the makeshift bed (which was basically just a huge cot), before you went to switch on the little lantern standing on that old camp table you had found. You may or may not have raided a camping store together.

Then you stepped over to him; coming to stand between his legs. Daryl looked up at you - still with those wide eyes full of love and desire. His hands instinctively came to rest on your hips again. They twitched in nervous anticipation. You buried your hands in his chestnut brown hair and gently smoothed the curls back, massaging his scalp. A shaky breath escaped his lips; eyes slipping shut at your touch. You smiled; loving that you were able to help him at least a little with his nervosity.

"How long?" You asked quietly after a long time of pleasant silence. Your words caused the archer to blink his eyes open again. "How long wha'?" He more or less croaked out; voice husky. "How long has it been since you... been with a woman? Physically, I mean." Daryl immediately avoided your eyes in embarrassment; his cheeks and even the tips of his ears turning red. He was blushing hard.

"U-Um... D-Dunno... L-Long 'fore this world went to shit, I-I think. W-Why?" His beautiful blue eyes hesitatingly met yours again; reflecting insecurity. "T-Tha' a problem for you?" You instantly shook your head to quell his doubts. "No, no! Absolutely not. I was just asking, because I want to do this right. I don't want to overwhelm you, do something wrong or go too fast," you explained and started to smile; running your fingers through his hair once more. "I want you to feel good, sweet boy."

He blushed even more at the pet name you used - if that was physically possible.

"It's okay, Daryl. Truly. It doesn't matter to me how experienced or inexperienced you are. I love you, and tonight's about us," you stated and leaned down to press a kiss against his forehead. "And communication is key. This isn't working if we don't talk and just do, so, talking is what I'm doing." Your partner nodded in understanding. You were right, of course. He knew what you meant.

A short moment of silence passed, before Daryl swallowed and spoke up again. "B-Been, uh, been only having a-a one time thing s-so far. It, uh, was a girl from school. Merle gave her money t-to... sleep with me."

You frowned at his words. "Money? Why?" You could tell that this story made him feel highly uncomfortable, but he continued. "'Cause Merle thought it was embarrassin' and a shame to be a virgin in my mid-twenties. So, he set that up for me. It was... not great, honestly. I did everythin' wrong, I think. It was so awkward 'n... staged. Tha' girl didn't enjoy it either. She told me afterwards tha' 'm a jerk 'n pretty bad in bed." He merely shrugged his shoulders. "'N well... After tha' I never touched another woman; thought I'd do it wrong anyways. Thinkin' of it now, 's a good thing I didn't, 'cause Merle's instructions wouldn't have been pleasurable for any woman..." "Oh, Daryl..." You shook your head; heart clenching at his words. Your face held a compassionate look. You cupped his cheeks and gently caressed the stubbly skin with your thumbs; gazing deeply into his troubled blues. "I'm so so sorry that this has happened to you." You let your palms wander back into his hair then. The archer used the opportunity to bury his face in your t-shirt clad stomach; arms hugging you tightly. You let him, of course, and switched to rubbing soothing circles into his back. "This isn't how stuff like this should go... Yeah, sure, you were very young, but..." You shook your head once more. "I didn't get to know your brother - and please forgive me for saying that... He seemed like an absolute jerk."

Those words made Daryl snort out a small laugh. "Dun be sorry. He was. But he was also blood. He looked out fer me." You nodded. "Like a big brother should..." "Yeah..."

You held Daryl close for another while, before you slowly backed up from the hug and made him look up to you again. "It's okay, yeah? I'm neither mad, nor angry or anything else." You smiled gently. "We got this. Together. We have to erase those bad first time memories and replace them with our first time memories - and trust me... It's gonna be wonderful."

Daryl smiled. Genuinely smiled. "'Kay, yeah."

"Good. Now c'mon, sweet boy. Let's start with getting you out of those unnecessary clothes." That made him chuckle softly again.

Of course, you helped him to undress. You could tell that he wasn't just insecure about his sexual skills, but also about his body. It wasn't difficult to tell. His cheeks were burning red again; head ducked in shame. For you, though, he had absolutely no reason to be insecure. Yes, that was easier said than done, but truly... In your eyes, he was perfect. Sure, his life and the past had left several marks on his body, but you found that rather 'intriguing' than disgusting. Wherever all those scars came from, they showed his strength. They showed that he experienced something bad, but also how strong it made him. You didn't dare to ask, though. Not now anyways. He had enough to process at the moment. You didn't want to overwhelm him...

"You're beautiful, Dar..." You whispered; hands gently - cautiously mapping out his shoulders and chest, while your eyes drank in his beauty. He was even more handsome than you thought he was. "'M not." You shook your head. "Yes. Yes, you are." "But-" "Ah!" You interrupted him and put a finger on his lips as he decided to look at you with his stunning eyes again. "That's not up for discussion. I love you. All of you." Another blush crept up his face, but a small boyish smile as well.

It made you smile, too.

"There it is... That sweet smile," you stated, then nodded at the makeshift bed. "Lay back, sweet boy. I wanna make you feel good, and... This body deserves to be worshiped."

And worshiping you did; taking the task absolutely seriously.

After Daryl had made himself comfortable - still a little shyly, your mouth had been stuck on him; kissing and exploring every square inch of his body. Lips, neck, shoulders, belly, thighs... Except for one part... You had more or less completely ignored the obvious erection he sported. Your goal had been first and foremost to make him feel truly comfortable around you. Help him adjust to your touch and to trust you entirely with this. You had a feeling it worked. That's what his eyes and body language told you at least...

"You okay, Dar? Do you feel more comfortable?" You asked nevertheless as you looked up to him, while you got settled between his legs; gently shoving the thick, strong limbs aside to part them and give you more space. "Yeah, 's real nice. Feels good 'n- W-Wha' are ya doin'?" His voice cracked a bit at the end as he saw what you were up to.

You smiled.

"Making you feel even better - if you want me to, of course. I'm not doing anything without your consent. I'm just getting comfy." And once again he blushed. What a cutie, you thought. "U-Um... Yer, uh," he cleared his throat. "Yer about to do wha' I think yer gonna do?" His eyes flickered from your lips to his crotch and back. "Only if you want me to. If not, that's okay. I can-" You already started to get up again and move away, when he stopped. "N-No! I-I want this! 'S jus'... I never... Ya know..." You nodded; smiling ever so softly. "That's okay. All you have to do is enjoy and feel good. Trust your body. It knows what it does. Same goes for later as well." He nodded. "Okay," you smiled and lowered your head.

You started off slow; peppering the insides of his thighs with kisses, before taking him into your hands first. That feeling he knew. He wasn't a saint, after all. The difference just was that it wasn't his hand this time - and it felt so much better. The sweetest little grunts slipped past his lips; making you smile. "Feeling good, Dar?" He nodded quickly. His yes had a hard time to focus on you; body still somehow trying to keep control. You shook your head. "Just let go, sweet boy. I'll catch you, I promise."

The archer didn't even get so far to answer you, since you finally put his lips on him. The new sensation caused fireworks to explode within Daryl. His upper body literally shot up from the 'bed'; thighs quivering. He propped himself up on his forearms. A raspy 'Fuck' leaving his mouth as he threw his head back in pleasure to expose his neck to your view.

That was what you had meant.

You kept up your ministrations - but not for long. Daryl was so sensitive and overwhelmed by this new experience, that his pleasure culminated just a mere few minutes later. You didn't complain, or course. Why would you? That was exactly what you wanted. For him to let go. You could already foresee though, that the man was going to be embarrassed and probably even ashamed for what just happened. But first, he had to catch his breath; a drop of sweat rolling down the contracting muscles of his stomach.

"You okay up there, Dar?" You asked him in a loving voice to check in on him. He didn't answer. Not at first. His eyes needed a moment to focus on you, just like his brain needed a moment to reboot. "Daryl?" You called out his name softly again. "'M-," he started, but cut off his sentence to take in a deep breath again. "'M good. F-Fuckin' hell, sunshine... A-Ain't been feelin' like that ever." You smiled; glad that he was apparently too blissed-out to care that he reached his peak 'too early'. "That was the plan," you giggled and made your way up to him; peppering his sweaty, hot skin with kisses. Happy trail, belly, ribs, chest, pectorals, shoulders, neck and lastly his lips.

"I'm happy I could give you so much pleasure - but we can do better." "B-Better?" You smiled; nodding. "Mhm... But I have to get undressed for this part as well, I'm afraid..." Now the penny dropped. You could see it in his eyes and on his face. "O-Oh, uh, yeah, right." The archer smiled softly, almost boyish. You giggled as you were still hovering over him and lifted a hand to brush a loose curl out of his face. "Would you want that?" He swallowed, but nodded. "And would you like to help me." You received the same response. Your lips curled into another smile before you maneuvered your body off of him and the 'bed'; standing up. Once more, you reached out your hand for him to take.

Daryl didn't hesitate, sat up and let his hand slip into yours.

When the man was on his feet, you took his other hand as well and guided them to the hem of your t-shirt. "Help me?" Daryl looked at you almost shyly for a moment before his hands went to work and helped you slip the piece of clothing over your head and arms. "Now the pants?" He nodded - like hypnotized, and let his hands drop to work on getting the next unnecessary garment off of your body. The only thing you did yourself so far, was stepping out of your boots. Your panties were the easier part for Daryl. He struggled a bit with your bra, but you happily helped him along.

Now you were standing entirely nude in front of him. His eyes couldn't stand still, were roaming your body from tip to toe; drowning in your appearance. You let him take his time to do so, of course, but you could tell that he wanted more. His eyes betrayed him - and the twitching of his hands.

Cautiously, you took a step closer to him. "Don't be shy, sweet boy," you spoke to your partner in a low voice. "You're allowed to touch me... Just like I touched you."

The archer looked up to gaze into your eyes for a moment; swallowing hard. "I know you want to," you added - and that seemed to 'break' him. His hands were instantly on your hips; pulling you gently closer. You smiled and placed your palms on his shoulders, letting him explore the dips and curves of your body - and he did. Daryl still was a bit shy and hesitant at first, but you gave him the confidence he needed. So, he got braver.

You enjoyed his big, calloused but gentle hands on you; his touch sending shivers down your spine and only adding to the desire which was already pumping through your veins.

Now he was hugging your body against his; just feeling you. Your warmth, the softness of your skin, how you fit so perfectly in his arms... The man's hands rested barely above your bottom to keep you anchored to him. And you felt him, too, of course. All of him. "I can tell you're ready for the 'better' part," you whispered into his ear after a long moment - and he stiffened. "U-Um, I-I... Yeah." You lifted your head off his chest to lock eyes with him. "Do you want this?" You couldn't help but to ask for his consent again. Daryl nodded. "Words, Dar. I need you to say it." "Y-Yes," the archer started, then cleared his throat. "Yes, I want this. Want you."

You smiled, and started to walk him back to the makeshift bed again. "Let's replace those awful memories then." Daryl couldn't do anything but nod; the thoughts of what was to come fogging up his brain even more. You gently sat him down on the edge of the 'bed' again with your hands on his shoulders. "You just feel and enjoy. Yeah, sweet boy? I do the work." The archer looked up at you through lust and love clouded eyes and nodded. "So you're okay with me being on top?" The man beneath you blushed and swallowed hard. "Y-Ya wanna...?" You giggled. He just was the cutest - a side you'd never think you were going to discover. "Mhm, yep. That's exactly what I'm gonna do," you explained while climbing on his lap. Your knees on the bed; hands still on Daryl's shoulders. He gasped. His breathing was already slightly shaky.

"Eyes on me, Dar. I know you like what you see, but I wanna see you," you whispered and tapped his goatee covered chin, since you noticed that his gaze was stuck on your chest. You couldn't blame him, though. It was right in front of his eyes. He looked up at you; pupils almost fully dilated. You smiled, "There we go." and reached beneath you to help connecting your bodies. Daryl gasped again at the touch. He was so sensitive.

Then you finally lowered yourself slowly onto him; not needing any sort of preparation. Giving him pleasure had been preparation enough. You bit your lip; fingertips digging into his shoulder. It felt so good. So right.

Daryl was already starting to fall apart beneath you - and it was the most beautiful thing you had probably ever seen. A loud grunt had slipped past his lips. He couldn't keep up the eye contact, since his eyelids were fluttering shut and his head tipped back into his neck. The archer's hands searched frantically for something to hold on to - and found the blanket beneath him. His fists clenched around the soft material; breathing irregularly. And all of this while you bottomed out on top of him. He was overwhelmed - in the best way possible.

You gave him (and yourself) a few moments. You didn't want to overwhelm your partner even more. "You okay, sweet boy?" You asked after a few heartbeats; gently squeezing his shoulders. "Can I move?" Daryl was already too far gone - too blissed-out for words, so he just nodded. You smiled and leaned down to press a lingering kiss against his sweaty forehead.

Then you started to move; setting a slow rhythm at first. The archer groaned; a strangled 'Fuck' paving its way past his lips once more. Apparently, you did everything right.

"Feeling good, Dar?" You asked, while running your fingers through his long chestnut brown curls. "S-So fuckin' good," he croaked out. Happy with his answer but not satisfied yet, you increased your pace slightly and changed the angle a bit - which caused you to moan, and Daryl to shatter entirely underneath you. A low grunt escaped his mouth as he buried his head in your chest; forehead pressing against your sternum. His arms were now tightly wrapped around you with his palms splayed over your naked back. Whimpers and whines were spilling from his lips - and you could swear that you felt some tears wetting your skin. Daryl couldn't help himself. It felt so incredibly good that he tumbled over the edge for the second time tonight. The rather sudden explosion of his pleasure managed to take you down with him. You moaned and called out his name like a prayer as you stilled.

You stayed locked to him for a long moment; just bathing in the afterglow together with Daryl. You had your arms wrapped around his shoulders, while his arms were still around your back; fingers twitching.

"'M sorry..." You heard your partner whisper after a long beat of silence. You retreated from the hug - just enough to be able to look at his face. His cheeks were reddened and sweaty. His orbs weren't as hazy anymore as before, but tears were still pricking his eyes. "Sorry for what, my love?" You voice was soft; a slight frown on your face. He swallowed. "F-For losin' it so quickly, I-" "Shh," you interrupted him instantly; shaking your head. "You've got absolutely no reason to be sorry, okay? I loved this. Making love to you and seeing you fall apart. It's what I wanted, Dar. For you to experience unbridled, pure and raw pleasure."

You underlined your words by gently kissing away his tears.

"Y-Yeah?" He whispered and looked at you through puppy dog eyes. "Yeah," you confirmed. "This was perfect, wasn't it? A much better experience than your first time, I hope."

A cute smile stretched over his face then. He visibly relaxed; knowing that it was okay what accidentally happened to him a second time. "Perfect?" Daryl asked, followed by a scoff. "Perfect ain't even enough to describe it... Think I died 'n went ta heaven." You smiled; brushing his hair back. "I'm happy I could make you feel this way and replace those bad memories with better ones." "Ya absolutely did, sunshine."

On the next morning - after the passionate evening and romantic night you spent together, you packed your things to drive back to Alexandria. After that night, every touch felt more intimate. More loving. Every smile was brighter. Every look you exchanged deeper. It was like a switch had been flipped.

A few miles in front of the gates of the archer's home, you both knew it was time to say goodbye - at least for now. It saddened you and Daryl, of course, but you had your duties in Oceanside. Just like Daryl had his here. And you promised Cyndie, so...

You sighed, getting off your dirt bike to properly say goodbye to your boyfriend. Knowing that he wasn't so comfortable with public affection, you suggested to stop outside of Alexandria. Not inside. He agreed.

"I dun wantcha to go..." Daryl stated as he wrapped you up in a loving hug. You buried your face in his broad chest; shaking your head. "I don't want to leave either, but..." "I know. 'S alright. Jus' hafta get used to it is all." You lifted your head again to smile softly up to him. Then you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him. Daryl's eyes fluttered shut as he felt your soft lips on his; quickly accepting the invitation.

After a few kisses had been shared, it was truly time to say goodbye.

"Thank you for this," you whispered; referring to the past days in the woods. The archer shook his head as big palms squeezed your hips. "I gotta thank ya, sunshine." You smiled and kissed him a last time, then reluctantly stepped out of his embrace. Before he lost the physical contact to you entirely, he reached for your hand. "Be safe out there, ya hear me? 'N drive carefully." You nodded. "I promise. You be safe too, yeah?" Now Daryl nodded.

You two exchanged a last loving look, then entirely parted. You got on your dirt bike and Daryl mounted his bike. "I love you," you called over to him; starting the engine. He smiled. That sweet, boyish smile you loved so much. His cheeks reddened; the blush spreading all the way to the tips of his ears. "I love ya, too," he answered and brought the engine of his vehicle back to life as well. "Radio me when ya arrive back home, 'kay?" "Will do."

Before the goodbye could get even worse, you kicked off the pedestal and drove off. Daryl looked over his shoulder to watch you; his heart beating just a little faster. He smiled once more and shook his head.

Love... What a strange thing...

tags: @angelwings-crossbowstrings @dixonsdarkelf @ellasdixon @fictive-sl0th @dixons-sunshine @negansbestie @bigbaldheadname @loz-3 @belitoxx @making-the-most-0f-it @erebus-et-eigengrau @mayday2007 @cakesandtom @ffsjustletmesleep @huntedmusicgardenn @dilfdixon @dixonsstinkysock

[inmyheaddd]

✦ we found wonderland - averyjameson

wc: 6.5k warnings: drinking, like 2 suggestive jokes lmao a/n: this fic is for @x-liv25-jamieswife 💘🙈 i love you so much girl youre literally the funniest ever, and you are the biggest averyjameson stan in the world (and the best one) so ofc i had to write this! i'm sorry this came soo late— i know its been like a month since ur bday 😓 anyway i hope you enjoy this!!

32 seconds. That was exactly how long it took Jameson to get to Avery's room when she texted him she needed help.

He knocked hurriedly, then barged in anyway. 

His breath caught in his throat— but for all the right reasons. Avery simply stood there, down at the end of the room, not in distress like he feared, with the barest hint of a laugh on her face.

She looked at him through her floor length mirror, their eyes meeting. 

“Heiress? What's...'' The words died in his throat as a slow grin spread on his face, his head tilting to the side. ''I didn't know we were going out.''

She glanced over her shoulder, her hair falling in effortless waves over her backless dress— her favourite colour, emerald green. 

She bit back a smile at Jameson’s expression when he walked over to her, his hand resting on her lower back. 

''We aren't going out.'' She told him in the mirror. ''it's girls night.” She let those words hang in the air for a moment, studying his expression.

“Why dont you have a...'' Avery grimaced. ''a boys night, hang out a little with your brothers, I don't know.'' She shrugged a little, craning her head to see Jamesons face, feel it close to hers.

Jameson gave her a slow smile as his hands trailed across her back, ''Ive spent my whole life 'hanging out' with them,'' He rose his brows, his hands now on her shoulders. ''I think I'll pass.'' 

“I guess, but, I hear Xander built some new drink or dare machine. Measures your heart rate and all, so, it'll know if you're really truthful.'' She refocused her gaze on the mirror, her hands habiutally reaching for her necklace to fiddle with, but she was met with nothing. 

She traced her fingers over her collarbones, tilting her head, ''Anyway, help me with my necklace?'' She asked, already picking up said necklace from her vanity.

In an instant Jameson was grinning again— of course he’d help her with her necklace, ''S'that all you called me for?'' he muttered lowly, moving her hair gently over one side of her neck.

''Yeah.'' She said through a light laugh as she handed him the necklace box. “I can barely even move in this dress.'' Avery watched him through the mirror, toying with the ends of her hair. “Thats why I only go to dinner in it.”

Jameson hummed in response , opening the box and carefully picking up the necklace and letting out a low whistle of appreciation as he saw the gleam of the diamonds. 

“Well,” he started, meeting her eyes sharply in the mirror, letting his smile change into one less sweet, “I could always help you change into something more comfortable.”

Expectedly, amusement flashed across Avery’s eyes for a moment. “Please, Jameson,'' Again, expectedly, her gaze flickered away for a moment as she whacked his arm, unable to hide the flush creeping up on her face, “put the necklace on already.”

Their eyes met again in the mirror, his tongue poking his cheek as he laughed. 

Jameson had got what he had wanted, which in all honesty was just seeing Avery smile. “Alright, alright,” he mumbled, that totally-not-sweet grin still on his lips as he looked back at the necklace. 

His calloused fingers were a stark contrast to the delicate necklace held in between them. 

Jameson purposefully let them brush against her neck as he hooked the necklace on, making tingles shoot straight down her spine.

Avery's breath hitched. Even after being together so long, his touch still managed to make her flustered. 

His touch always felt softer than she remembered, which was strange, because she truly believed she had memorized the way it felt.

It was engrained in her mind. But still, every time her hands brushed over his, it felt like the first time. 

Every time the pads of his fingertips touched her face, the gentleness of the act would always spark her nerves for a second, before she fell into that familiar daze of comfort she felt around him.

Now, Jameson’s expression was one of focus, his brows slightly furrowed and his lips parted the tiniest bit. He noticed the hitch— as he noticed everything— but didn't say anything.

He placed his hands on her shoulders gently, slowly moving up and down her shoulders as he looked at her once again in the mirror. His voice was light, “You're beautiful.”

Avery smiled, her heart skipping a beat, or multiple, as she turned her head to actually look at him. “You say that a lot.”

Jameson narrowed his eyes jokingly, “Of course I do, it's always true.'' He told her, and Avery turned so she was fully facing him now, eye to eye. “I'm a simple man, Heiress. I say what I see.''

She couldn't help but laugh, ''You're anything but simple.'' She told him, which was the truth. 

He had so much to him, so much to know, so much to love. Simple was the last word Avery would use to describe Jameson Hawthorne. 

''You spoke in riddles for the first month I knew you. You still do.''

He considered that for a moment, “Well, you answered them, did you not?'' Jameson replied simply. 

Avery had to focus on holding back her smile at the memories of them when they first met, when she first realised she wanted to know Jameson. Wanted more than what she had. 

''Atleast I get to be simple to you. With you.'' He continued, and there was a hint of sentiment in his words, an odd glint of sadness behind his eyes almost masked by the usual teasing glint, and something about it made Avery's heart twist.

Instinctually, Avery’s hand reached out for Jameson’s, and his thumb brushed against the back of her hand.

I get to be simple to you. She knew how much those words meant. To everyone else, Jameson had always been the reckless, yet mysterious boy who you could never truly understand. 

And at first, thats what Avery had categorised him as. 

She'd never been more wrong in her life. 

With you. Being with Jameson was quite possibly the most right thing in her life. 

It wasn't simple at first. But they tried for each other.

No one had ever put that much effort and want into getting to know Avery before. 

They’ve had their fights. And after every single one of them, they’d only come out loving each other that much more. 

The way he’d hold her face in his hands, like she was precious to him, the way she’d run her hands through his hair, soothing the both of them as they fell asleep in each others arms. 

Simple.

Now, being with him was as easy as breathing, as simple as counting to 10. It was second nature to care for him, they were a unit.

Avery smiled, her hands on Jamesons chest. Jamesons eyes glittered as he gazed at her, his eyes flickering between her features. 

“God, Jamie. I cant leave with you looking at me like that.” She slightly pushed him away, flustered. “Stop it.”

He was even closer now, and she didn't make any efforts to push him away. Instead, Avery's arms instinctively wrapped around his neck. One of his hands came to hold her face gently, his thumb brushing slow circles on her cheek.

She could feel the heat radiating off of him, “Then don't go.” Jameson murmured, his eyes fixated on her lips for a moment longer, before returning to her eyes. “Even forever isn't nearly enough when it comes to you.” 

His gaze flickered between the two of her eyes, but Avery felt like he was seeing much more than that. 

He saw through her, saw all the parts she didn't particularly like about herself, and only loved her more. 

He loved her. She knew that. 

But when she allowed herself to truly think about it, think about the fact that every time they’re together, and he looks at her, he feels the same way she does when she looks at him.

It was bizarre. A part of her almost felt like laughing and skipping around whenever she did think about it too much— like a perpetual state of joy when one finds out their crush likes them back.

God, she had a crush on her boyfriend. He had one on her. They'd been together for nearly 2 years. 

She almost wanted to laugh.

Avery smiled to herself, “If I find a way to make us live forever and one day," Her arms slid down his neck, one of her hands coming to jab at his chest gently. "You'll be the first to know.'' 

Jameson hummed in consideration, and Avery found it hard to focus when his thumb moved up and down her cheek. ''What if I find it first?" He said lowly. 

Competitions were fun, but with them together, they were infinitely more fun. 

“You won’t.” She smiled, matching his grin from earlier like a poker player would. “But, you could go and get a head start— ask Xander while I'm gone with Libby.” She continued softly, a slight hum in her voice. ''If anyone knows the answer, it'd be him.''

A slow grin stretched on Jameson's lips, his other hand coming to also hold Avery's face. “Offering me a headstart? You must really like me. I was absolutely unaware that you thought I was that special.” 

Avery's cheeks flushed, and she was acutely aware that his hands were on her face, so even if by some miracle he couldn't see it, he could definitely feel the way her face heated up.

She managed an eye roll and a dry chuckle, ''You're weird.''

Jameson only grinned in response, and Avery got the feeling he saw her flush and felt it. 

She wanted to roll her eyes again, maybe huff, but he quickly quipped back: “You're gorgeous.”

''That's...'' Avery faltered slightly, her head tilting as she fought a smile. She was supposed to call him weird, he was supposed to annoy her back. ''That's not how it works.''

''I've never liked to do the expected, Heiress.'' He told her, hands coming away from her face, though his eyes never left hers. ''You've known that about me since day one.''

Avery would be lying if she said everything didn't suddenly seem colder without his hands on her. 

She hummed in thought for a moment. She needed to change the conversation and steer his focus away from her flustered expression. 

She doubted it was even possible, but she tried. “If you're always doing the unexpected, it becomes expected of you 'to do the unexpected.’ So at one point, doesn't the expected become unexpected?'' 

Jamesons eyes glittered slightly, and Avery knew he was revising over the question in his head. “Good question,'' Jameson responded, “Unfortunately I've just heard the word 'expected,' too many times in the last minute. I don't have an answer for you.''

“I’ve rendered you speechless?”Avery smiled, speaking in the exact same tone Jameson was speaking in moments earlier. 

Jameson grinned, nodding to further emphasize that speechlessness. Avery fought back a stupid smile at the look on his face. 

She could never get enough of his smile, his humor, his voice, of him. Ever. 

Avery rose her brows in a display of fake judgement, though her fingers twitched with excitement at her sides. “Good, I’ve had enough of you talking.”  

Jameson’s eyes flickered down to her lips, one hand coming to her jaw as he raised a brow in question. 

With her heart fluttery, Avery bit back a giggle— he was really taking this whole speechless bit thing to heart.

Avery rose a brow back wordlessly. She wouldn’t give in that easily.

Jameson exhaled, “Heiress, I’m no longer speechless.” He finally spoke, his voice low and smooth and making Avery’s stomach flutter. “I also, would very much like to kiss you.” 

“I suppose you can kiss me,” Jokingly, Avery shrugged and puffed her lips out in faux boredom.

Jameson rose a brow, feigning offense, “That’s not a yes.”

She felt herself smile as she rose to her tiptoes, barely brushing her lips against his. 

She felt his breath on his, and murmured, “Fine,” she said in a breath out, “I would also very much like you to kiss me.” 

In an instant, Jameson brought his other hand to the back of her neck and held her as he pressed his lips against hers. 

Those fingers that were twitching at her sides now ran through Jameson’s hair as he pulled her close. 

When they finally pulled away from each other, nerve endings sparking and energy buzzing, her hands trailed down to his chest once again. Their foreheads stayed touching, breathing heavy.

If Avery was being honest, she didn't know if she had it in her to leave if she looked at him a minute longer. 

Especially not when he was smiling at her like that, and all she wanted to do was kiss him again, and feel that smile on her lips.

She thought about seeing Libby though— a quiet dinner, just the two of them, and she felt as if she'd regained her footing. 

She let out a chuckle, "Alright, I actually have to go," She trailed off, her hands finally sliding off of his chest. ''But I'll see you later tonight, when I get back."

"Have fun, Heiress.'' He said, pulling her in one last time for a short kiss. 

He wasn't trying to distract her. Avery knew Jameson's kisses when he was offering a distraction, and Avery knew Jameson's kisses when they were simply goodbye kisses.

Regardless, she ended up getting just a little distracted.

It took a lot more of her willpower and self-control to take a step back than she expected. Jameson's eyes, and maybe even his lips, were a force greater than gravity.

Avery then walked away from Jameson and out of the room, fully aware of his gaze lingering on her. 

────୨ৎ────

"Oh, oh, I have a really good one." Libby laughed, walking in a line that was anything but straight, knocking Avery to the side a little.

"Okay," Avery laughed back, her coat wrapped tightly around her, and her heels held in one hand as she walked no less wonky than Libby. "But don't say something like, would you rather dye your hair blue or purple."

Avery and Libby had gotten back from their dinner an hour ago. 

They had been at the restaurant bar for a little, but they quickly ended up getting bored. Too many men had tried hitting on them, but Avery had an inkling of a feeling that Libby enjoyed waving her hand in the air, specifically her right ring finger, and saying, “I’m a married woman!” 

Now, they were in the Hawthorne House back yard, — if you could even call it that. 

The land seemed to stretch on forever, with gardens, statues, fountains, benches everywhere, swings built for the boys from their childhood days, a maze, and a wrecked treehouse. 

Avery had made countless discoveries during her time at Hawthorne House. 

Today, she made another one: Drunk Libby was not good at 21 questions. 

''My questions aren't that bad!'' Drunk Libby was also apparently not self aware. ''Its just... You know what, I don't like this game.''

''Hey, you're the one who suggested it.'' Avery bumped into her purposefully as they walked side by side, nudging her shoulder. 

Libby groaned, throwing her head back exasperatedly. A laugh left avery’s lips, then she suggested, ''Okay, one more question, then we'll stop.''

''Good lord, we're so pathetic,'' Libby snorted, looking at Avery for a moment. ''We only got to 4 questions.''

Avery couldn't hold back her own snort, ''Good lord? Who are you?'' 

''What?'' Libby asked half confusedly, a half smile on her lips. Then her face fell slightly when she realised. ''Oh, shut up, you." 

Libby couldn't hold back that lovesick smile on her face when she talked about her partner. Avery knew the feeling. 

Libby continued, "Obviously I'm bound to pick up on his lingo just a little bit. He's my husband."

“I don’t mind it!” Avery teased, dragging out the last two words. She then tapped her chin, thinking. “It’s cute, I can imagine my little nieces and nephews wearing cowboy hats and saying things like hold your horses.” 

“Woah!” The shock on Libby’s face was priceless, but Avery saw the way her eyes gleamed a little. Libby started laughing like a madwoman, “Okay, seriously hold your horses, that’s a tad too far.” 

She stopped for a moment, then murmured to herself, almost in consideration. “It would tiniest bit cute though, little country accents and all.” 

Avery’s gaze softened at the sight of her sister, then she let out an amused chuckle. “It would be sickeningly adorable, Lib.” 

''Okay, let’s change the subject,'' Libby let out an airy, slightly flustered laugh, then hummed, ''Next question. What do you think past you would be most shocked about your life now?''

''Oh, God,'' Avery let out a chuckle in half disbelief. How'd they go from questions about cats or dogs, blue or purple, to this? ''I dont even know. Honestly, just—“

"No." Libby interjected, "I already know what you're going to say.'' She fixed her gaze on Avery's, a slight teasing smile on her lips. “You can't say everything.''

''Thats impossible!'' Avery laughed, even though it wasnt particularly funny. She looked down at her hands as they continued walking through the dim, warmly lit back yard. 

“I don’t care,” Libby giggled, jabbing at Avery’s shoulder. “Think of a different answer.” 

''Okay, then,” Avery chewed on her bottom lip in thought, her mind running through all the different ways her life had flipped upside down. It was all insanity. But one thing stood out more than the rest. 

“I guess probably everything with mom.'' She finally decided on, not meeting Libby’s gaze. ''And that Harry wasn't really Harry. And that mom wasn’t really Sarah. And that the postcards were never just postcards.''

Avery kept talking, the words leaving her mouth faster than her brain could catch up. 

''I think... I think I'd be most shocked, and almost annoyed, to know that even after all the mysteries we uncovered, I still don't really know what mom's big secret was. Ideas, sure, but not an answer.''

She didn't realise how much finally saying those words out loud affected her. 

Avery never admitted it, but the fact that she'd never be able to solve that one mystery, finish that last game — I have a secret... — would always linger in the back of her mind. 

''Ave...'' She brought her gaze up to Libbys, who was looking her with her brows scrunched up sympathetically. 

Her hair looked almost black in the faint orange light with the dark sky behind her, and it reminded Avery of when she dyed it brown, to appease Avery's team, to look ordinary and fit in the new world they were shoved into. 

She hated it. 

''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the vibe," Avery quickly shook her head, a forced chuckle leaving her lips. "I should've said something like not living in my car, or that people ask me for my autograph.'' 

She looked away, sniffling and wiping her eyes with the back of her hands quickly before she looked back at Libby, laughing slightly. ''Isn't that weird? I didn't even have a permanent home 2 years ago.”

''It is weird." Libby assured her softly. "All of it is weird. It's not wrong to feel weird.'' 

Avery sniffled once again, muttering a quiet, “Yeah, I guess.” 

They were both silent for a moment as they continued walking around the premises. 

Avery knew that she would miss this moment of peace and vulnerability with Libby, and it hadn't even ended. 

She was already dreading the fact that it would have to end eventually. 

She hated it when she thought like that. 

Suddenly, she met Libby’s calm eyes and those thoughts stopped, she found herself truly happy in the moment. 

''Well, it wasn't my question, but I think you'd be most shocked that you hadn't really changed one bit. Even after everything.'' Libby admitted quietly, a sad smile playing on her lips. 

''You're still my little sister, you're still the same girl who would play chess with a homeless man on the street. You're still Avery. Not the heiress, not the whole Avery Kylie Grambs and all that comes with it, not some saint. You're still the same Ave you've always been.''

Avery's full name was an anagram for 'a very risky gamble.' 

And for a long time after inheriting, thats all she figured she was to people around her. 

A gamble. Something that was only worth it sometimes. 

She knew she was much more than that now— she had the best people around her, reminding her every day that she was capable of being loved and loving. 

But still, hearing the words come out of Libby's mouth moved her more than anything. 

She would always be her sister, even if everything else went wrong. 

Avery’s eyes stung, she had to blink multiple times to keep those pesky tears away. ''I wish we had more time together as kids. I wish I remembered the times we did have, like your birthday with mom.'' Avery confessed, unsure where the words were coming from, but welcoming them nonetheless. 

She noticed Libby's expression falter slightly, the corners of her lips turning down.

Avery referred to Hannah as 'mom,' with Libby, even though she wasn't biologically Libby’s mom. Regardless, Avery knew she was more of a mom to them than Libby's mother ever was. 

''I know. But... at least we have now.'' Libby murmured. ''Thats more than enough for me.'' 

Libby suddenly paused. ''Are you crying?''

Avery straightened her posture, whipping her head up to meet Libbys eyes.

"What? No. God, no.'' She wiped at her eyes hurriedly, sniffling. ''I don't know.'' Avery hasn’t even realized she was crying. 

''Aw,''' Libby crooned, opening her arm out wide as she tilted her head, her eyes a little bleary herself. ''C'mere, you silly girl.''

Avery rolled her eyes, unable to hold her smile as she melted into her sister’s side, her arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. 

Avery’s head lay on Libby’s shoulder,  the warmth from her and simply her familiarity calming Avery’s nerves, soothing her.

The world felt a little less loud.  

"Your hair smells good.’’ Avery mumbled without really thinking.

Libby kept walking as Avery felt her chuckle. 

“What are you saying?”

"I'm sorry.'' Avery laughed lazily, ''I'm not a good drunk.''

''Hey. You're an amazing drunk. And an amazing sister. And an amazing role model. Just... Amazing!'' Libby giggled, swaying them side to side as they walked through a path with bushes either side of it.

''What are you saying?'' Avery echoed, laughing and straightening her back, picking her head up off Libby’s shoulder.

“Hey!” Libby laughed, wrapping her arm back around Avery’s shoulders and pulling her in. “I never claimed to be a good drunk either.”

“Yeah,” Avery rose her brows exaggeratedly, emphasizing the obviousness, “cause you’re not a good drunk.”

“Okay, you can’t make fun of me.” Libby suddenly said, putting her best attempt of a serious face on. “I'm still your big sister. Y’know.” 

She sighed, running her hand up and down Avery’s shoulder. ‘’I miss when you thought I was crazy cool and intimidating.’’

Avery leaned her head on Libby’s shoulder once again, sighing. ‘’You’re still crazy cool.”

''Not intimidating?''

Avery hummed. 

She thought the time when Libby chased Xander around the house with a whisk in her hand, after he stole a few of her unbaked cookies.

"If you don't face my wrath, you’ll definitely be facing salmonellas', Xander! It isn't as forgiving as I am!" Libby once yelled.

Avery knew her answer immediately. "You're very intimidating.’’

“Why, thank you!”

────୨ৎ────

10 minutes later, after they continued to walk and recall random memories from their childhood and talk about people they didn’t like (unsurprisingly, there were a lot), and made their way sleepily to the doorstep. 

Libby swayed side to side behind Avery, laughing to herself. ''Ave, do you remember-'' she cut herself off with a laugh, and Avery turned around, lazily chuckling at the image of Libby literally laughing over nothing infront of her. ''Remember when, we dressed up... as…”

Avery's hand was on the doorhandle now. She giggled to herself, and Libby came to stand next to her. She rang the doorbell, but no one answered. 

“Huh, weird…” Avery muttered, then Libby then took out her spare key from her purse, and they were just about to let themselves in when she suddenly heard a large crash. 

Then, they heard multiple voices, specifically three voices all shout: XANDER!

Avery winced. 

She couldn't quite make out the rest, but she heard something like, ''... It was an accident! It was an accident! ACCIDENT! NOT ON PURPOSE.'' 

And was that... The Mamma Mia soundtrack playing? 

Avery and Libby exchanged wary looks. 

“I don't want to go in,” Libby mumbled, whining in distaste.

Avery sighed, then turned to Libby. “50 bucks atleast one thing is on fire.”

“Oh, please.” Libby deadpanned. “I'll bet you 100 there's at least 5 broken things.”

They both took a deep breath in, pushing the door open carefully. 

When they finally went inside, Avery realised they truly underestimated the Hawthorne brothers and their capability of chaos. 

The light in the foyer was turned off, and from the looks of it, it seemed that all the lights in the house were turned off. Avery wondered if the power had somehow went out, courtesy of Xander. (Hey, it happened before.)

Her and Libby went upstairs, following the noise of Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA, and Avery realised the power couldn't have been out, because there was a strobe of faint neon lights that could be seen from the end of the hallway, leading into the main living room upstairs.

She also heard shouts. A lot of shouts. 

Chaos immediately met her the second she walked into the living room. 

“God! You!” Avery’s eyes widened comically as Xander pointed at her dramatically , a hand coming to clutch his heart.

“Me?” Avery pointed at herself, looking beside her, but then she realized Libby was no longer by her side, and was already making her way to Nash who was sitting on the couch, leaning back leisurely with his cowboy hat tilted sideways on his head.

“Yes, you!” Xander shouted again, with no little amounts of dramatic flair, taking steps towards Avery. 

The flashing lights and music made it hard to focus. “You wretched, conniving, deceitful, amazing, wonderful, friend. You left me here with these two.”

He huffed, gesturing to Grayson and Jameson who were just now realizing Avery and Libby had arrived, and paused their game of just dance. “And they've been competing in the most ridiculous things ever since.”

Competing sounded like them. “Ridiculous?” Avery asked.

“Yes!” Xander huffed, “and that is I- Xander Hawthorne, the master of ridiculousness saying that. We played drink or dare, and then... “ Xander shuddered, holding his hand out like he couldn’t bear the words. 

Avery already knew she wasn’t going to like where this was going. “…And then?" she prompted, motioning for him to go on with her hands. 

Xander shook his head morosely at the floor, his hand still on his heart. Then he met Avery’s gaze, “Jameson dared Grayson to a bake off.” 

Avery glanced at Libby who was sitting next to Nash now, and was thankful she couldn’t hear the words Xander said. 

Jameson’s cooking was good— way more than good, but his baking? Avery wondered how the same person who would make 3 course Italian meals on their date nights, managed to somehow make muffins as hard as rock. 

She glanced back at Xander, “That’s… That’s not good.” 

“I know that, Avery!” Xander huffed petulantly, then pulled out his phone and pressed pause on the music. “They tried to see who would make the best scones, and the judge was, y'know, obviously me.” 

He lowered his voice for the next part, hushing as if he were confessing a dark secret. “Listen, I love scones, but, I’m afraid my brothers were the first to ever manage to make them disgusting.” Xander shuddered once again, “I can’t look at them for atleast a week.” 

Holding back a laugh had been easy for Avery until then. She tilted her head, trying to compose herself, “Them as in your brothers, or scones?” 

Xander widened his eyes, his expression horrified. “Both!”

Avery took her gaze to Jameson, who looked absolutely enthralled to see Avery. He beamed with a smile at her, setting down his remote and walking towards her.

Grayson’s clothes were disheveled, his hair messy too, and Avery looked between at four of the brothers once again.

They had to be more drunk than she and Libby were. 

Then, Avery quickly realised telling Jameson about Xander's new drink or dare machine was maybe not the best idea.

Xander kept ranting, as Jameson finally stood infront of Avery. “Oh! Aveeeerrrry! Heiress, It’s so nice to see you again.” Jameson slurred as he wrapped an arm around her, then removed it and pressed a messy kiss to the tip of her head.

Avery’s heart melted on the spot. She took a step back. “I missed you too.” She paused for a moment, looking him once over, “Jamie, how much did you drink?"

“Barely anything. Just a little bit.” Jameson shook his head profusely, and Avery quirked up a brow. “Well, perhaps a little more than a little…” He admitted with a slight tilt of his head. “If yes is one, and... once...” 

Jameson murmured nonsense, his voice low, “… Triangle... “ He suddenly put both his hands on Avery’s shoulders. She heard Xander snort. Jameson rose his brows, his expression about as serious as it could get when he was that drunk. “I love you very much, you know?”

“Sure, Jamie.” Avery nodded, patting his arm, “I love you very much too.”

“If you'll excuse me,” Grayson interrupted, stumbling over to them and standing a few feet away from Jameson. 

“Me and Jameson have an incredibly important... event... taking place.” He adjusted his sleeves cuffs, but he didn’t look all that collected or poised, because his shirt was buttoned wonkily and he just looked… Messy. “Please allow him to return to his duties” 

Jameson snorted. ''Duty. Ha.''

Grayson glared at him, “It's an important endeavour.”

Avery and Xander shared a look. She furrowed her brows at the two brothers, confused. “It's Just Dance.”

“It's more than just a dance!” Avery would’ve never known Jameson was a die hard fan for Just Dance. Now she did, because his voice held pure emotion, his eyebrows near the top of his head. 

“Heiress, the thought behind the characters, the storyline, the—“ 

“—You know what,” Avery interjected, patting Jameson’s arm once again and pointing to the large TV. “Why don’t you go back to dancing. I’m sure you’re both amazing.” 

“They’re both horrible.” Xander rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “Nash is better, but neither of them will admit it.” 

“Okay…” Avery trailed off, eyes flickering between the 3 of them. Where did Libby and Nash go? “Well, uhm, I have to go change...”

Jameson’s eyes widened, taking her hands in his. “Can’t you stay for just a minute? I would like to show you my dance moves. I’ve missed you truly.”

Surprise flickered across Avery— her whole face scrunched up, “Jamie, is that a British accent?"

"That’s not the point." Jamesons voice was back to normal. “Please, I’ve worked really hard on perfecting this.” 

“No you haven’t.” Xander and Grayson both said at the exact same time, both of their tones equally as annoyed.

“Okay, this is absolutely ridiculous!” Xander lifted his arms in the air, then they fell back down with a huff. 

Jameson’s hands dropped Avery’s, his jaw dropping open too as he took his surprised gaze over to Xander, who they could all tell was about to go on one of his Xander Rants.

“First, Max wasn’t able to come because of med school exams. Then, the offense done to scones by my awful brothers. Now, I just had the same thought process as Grayson! The universe has done me wrong far too much today. Goodnight. I’m done with this day.”

Grayson’s expression was almost comical with the way his eyes widened. He furrowed his brows, “Going through the same thought process as me is surely not an offense. Right? ... Right?” 

Xander heard none of it though, because he was already storming off, muttering something angrily under his breath about: “Next time, I’m just going to Max.” 

Avery fought back a grin. She was telling Max about all of this. 

“I suppose I should also get to bed.” Grayson grumbled, checking the time on his watch. “I’m picking up Lyra from the airport tomorrow morning.”

“Next time tomorrow?” Jameson suggested with a grin, nodding towards the paused Just Dance game on the screen. 

Grayson paused, humming like he was really thinking about it. “Well, It’s very likely I’ll be busy. I’ll have to ask her and see." He paused, murmuring to himself, "She dances as well, perhaps she could join...” 

He sounded so… sophisticated, Avery hard a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that the subject matter was a dancing game with special effects and people wearing colorful costumes. 

Jameson shrugged, “Dancer or not, I’m winning regardless.” 

“That’s enough from you.” Grayson quickly replied, then his expression went back to normal, “Goodnight, both of you.” 

For a moment, Jameson and Avery were silent. Then, Jameson turned to face her with a grin. “Then there were two.” 

Avery blinked at him, “There’s about to be one. I have an insane headache, and I need to go shower. I feel gross.”

Jameson’s grin faded at the utterance of her headache. He brought a hand to caress her cheek, “I’m sorry for pestering you with just dance, Heiress.” He mumbled, his worlds slow and slurred.

Avery chuckled, smiling against the hand on her cheek. “It’s no problem, Jamie.”

He furrowed his brows, “If I knew about your headache,” he started, his tone sincere and innocent, “And that you wanted to go shower… Well, I would’ve been out of here in seconds.” 

Avery’s smile dropped, “You’re gross.” She couldn’t help but laugh, though. “I’m leaving.” 

She turned Jameson's hand falling off her face, and she heard him chuckle behind her.  

She continued walking, then: “Wait, I’m sorry!” He suddenly called out, grabbing her hand gently. She turned once again to face him, her expression one of faux boredom.  

She was trying very hard not to laugh, and his face told her he was finding this nothing but funny.

He held both her hands, pleading. “I’ll get you your painkillers while you shower. And I’ll fill up your huge water bottle that you keep in your room.” His eyes were pleading, but the corner of his lips kept fighting a grin. “I’m sorry.”

Avery stayed silent for a moment, looking him up and down and letting her gaze flicker across his face. She sighed, though her smile started to match his. “All is forgiven if you add extra ice.” 

The corner of his lips stopped fighting that devastating grin. “You already know I'd do it.” 

────୨ৎ────

An hour later, with her water bottle filled, sitting on her nightstand (extra iced), headache gone (what would she do without painkillers?), and freshly showered and in her pyjamas, Avery lay awake in her bed. 

She was too focused on her breathing, as she didn’t want to move Jamesons head that was lying on her chest. 

His face looked peaceful, his face slightly squished, but it was only adding to the affection and warmth Avery felt in her heart. 

He looked perfectly illuminated from the yellow bedside lamp Avery had turned on. 

She always had it on— she didn’t like the dark much. 

She remembered Jameson convincing her to use one, after her troubles sleeping because of certain events she didn't like talking about— they simply hurt too much.

‘I’m not a child, I dont need a nightlight.’ She told him, giving him a look that said: drop it. 

"I once needed one, for a long time, Heiress.’’ He confessed, his eyes pleading with worry as he took her hands in his. “Try it, if it doesn’t help, forget I ever mentioned it.’’ 

When Avery’s eyes wandered away from his and to the ground, his features softened with a slight grin. "You can even say "i told you so.’"

She looked at him again, and he didn’t seem to be have any teasing manner in his voice. So the next time Avery went to sleep, she turned her little night lamp on.

She didn’t say ‘I told you so.’ 

He was right.

And for the first time, he didn’t tease her about being right. He simply held her tighter when they'd fall asleep.

Avery couldn’t help but smile slightly at the memory, no matter how much of her energy had been depleted from the day. 

She brought a careful hand to his hair, running her hands through it. 

She looked at Jameson for a moment. She sighed a little, biting back a stupid smile, and turned to look at the lamp next to her.  

Avery traced her fingers along the scar on Jameson’s torso. 

He once couldn’t sleep in the dark. 

She didn’t have to be a genius to understand why.

A sense of melancholy washed over her. 

Jameson had been through so much before she knew him, and through even more when she did know him. 

The discoveries they made together, the things they learned about the old man— they troubled her, and she didnt even know the guy. 

Just how deep did it affect Jameson?

Looking at the boy on her chest, she allowed herself to truly look at his face— the freckles you couldn’t see unless you were right next to him, the slope of his nose, the way his lashes looked enviously thick, his slightly puffy lips, that weren’t in that awful (not awful at all) smirk that they were perpetually in. 

She loved him, not for whatever physical features he had, no matter how perfect they were, but for who he was. 

The fact that she could get distracted and lost in his endless green eyes was only a bonus— worth nothing next to the fact that those same eyes looked at her like she was his whole world. 

With a soft sigh she reached over, careful not to wake up Jameson — though a part of her knew that even if she did wake him up, he wouldn’t mind in the slightest — and turned her lamp off.

Darkness enveloped the room, but it didn’t feel like it. 

If anything, it was comforting, because now the only things that existed in that moment were her and Jameson. 

She couldn’t see anything, the house was quiet— but she could feel Jameson in her arms, and smelled the scent of whiskey and cedar she had grown so accustomed to, and if she really concentrated, she could remember the taste of his lips on hers.

She wrapped her arm around Jameson's torso with the other in his hair, all her senses full of him. And for the first time in a while, she fell asleep in the dark.

taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @littlemissmentallyunstable@anintellectualintellectual @lovethornes @maybxlle @sheisntyou @emelia07 @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @charsoamerican @hxress23 @imaseabear @clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @thelov3lybookworm @graysw1fe @lanterns-and-daydreams @hermesenthusiast @elysianwayy77 @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @apollosmusee @hijabi-desi-bookworm @goldi-1-graysons-version @saigonharrington @peppapigsposts @thoughtdaughter3 @apollospoem@jjsblueberry @yayyy-insecurities

[sweetsbelcva]

Can’t fix me | Michael Berzatto x Reader

⟡ You struggle with internal emotions in your relationship. The truth comes to the surface as he notices the change that he dread it was coming.

— fem!reader. Age gap, Reader’s nickname is Bug and is in her early 20s (no body/appearance descriptions), and Michael is in his early 40s. Mentions of nausea and heavy emotions. hurt— no comfort, sorry.

— masterlist

A/n: I wanted to navigate a reader who has been dealing with the feelings of growing up and finding stability in herself. I have more ideas if you'd like me to continue but this barely scratches the surface.

You open the door to a sleepy Michael, having looked for him at The Bear and Donna’s already. You were worried he had been drinking late at night alone but luckily found him at his house. It's your day off, you stopped by Annie’s to get some croissants, black coffee, and a cappuccino for yourself.

"Morning, bear," you say, almost in a whisper. You were always walking on eggshells with him, not wanting to irritate him when he just woke up. It was noon, he had just gotten out of bed and that meant he was drinking late at night but at home.

He steps into the living room, hearing the soft term on endearment that calls to him like a siren singing. Your soft, familiar voice echoes through the room. He sees your eyes, that frown on your face, and the pout on your lips as he lifts his head, it shakes now from side to side.

"Don't look at me like that" he grunts, rubbing his eyes with his fist to wake up. "Just don't-" Mikey avoids staring at you, knowing well he’d get lost on your beauty and that would make him distracted. That he can't have a day without letting you into his heart and putting the same wall between you, again.

You worry, of course you do. The dark circles around his eyes, his lip almost torn apart from chewing at it.

"I got you some breakfast" your sweet voice always seems to perk his interest, cutting any tension between you.

You place the bag of goodies onto the table and sit down. He does the same, you two are only centimeters apart now— physically, the complete opposite thing emotionally.

"Got you a black coffee, croissants and if you want I can make us an omelet"

Usually, the only two things in his stomach are coffee and whatever he could find at The Bear. Pieces of meat, some bread, a piece of chocolate cake— never a full meal.

"Thank you, bug" You see his lip quirked up slightly, the thought of you knowing exactly what he needs without hesitation. "Really" he shoots you a smile, and you do too.

"Of course, bear"

The nickname makes his heart race, he takes a bite of the pastry and a sip of his coffee. His eyes feel less heavy each time his throat gets warm. He hadn't realized how hungry he was.

"Didn't you already eat? It's late" he asks around his bites, eyes flickering over to your breakfast.

"No, I wasn't hungry. I was kind of nauseous in the morning" you reply, taking a sip of your cappuccino. You thank the odds it was your day off and could have more time in bed until then nausea went away.

Mikey furrows his brows at your response, he'd been so caught up in his loneliness he didn't realize how you'd been doing. He didn't even ask how you'd been feeling.

He stops mid-bite, his hand hesitating to reach out for your thigh under the table and squeeze it to give you comfort. He stared at you, trying to hide the concern in his gaze so you stay calm.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure, its the third time it has happened and I'm sure it’s stress"

His brows knit in a frown, now tilting his head looking for your gaze. You are avoiding him— his heart races.

"Stress?" he repeats, placing the cup down on the table and shifting his chair to face you properly without having to crack his neck. He placed his hand on the back of your chair, the action full of innocence as he got closer. "Why are you so stressed, princess?" he asks, his brows still knitted in a frown.

"You know, school, work and I have deadlines on both" you sigh. Saying all of it with all the calm in the world, he can't believe it. You were just panicking a few days ago for a test and now you’re this calm?

"And me" his words slip out before he could think about it. He noticed you'd gotten slightly distant from him these past few days. He wouldn't be surprised if he was the source of your pain. He felt the pang of guilt in his heart.

"I never said that"

"You didn't have to" he grumbled. "Its not that hard to figure i’m one of your problems, bug"

You shift in your place, his hand on the back of the chair now close to touch your arm. You look at him in disbelief, your eyes parted and the way your breath hitches on your throat makes the nausea come back again.

"I didn't even thought about it, you’re rushing in for a fight and I'm not granting you that wish" you defend yourself, not letting him bring you down the quiet peaceful moment you were having.

He was taken aback at how blunt you were, it made him go silent for a few seconds. He stares at you, watching the signs of anger on your face.

"I'm not trying to fight"

A scoff leaves your lips, your shoulders tightening. "Then why are you jumping to conclusions then?" your eyes piercing his gaze.

Then he sees it, really sees it. You’ve changed. All these days of distance made sense because whatever happened in your brain, something clicked and you’re not the same person he met. You’ve grown.

You’re not picking at his fights, you’re not pouting for a kiss. You noticed he didn't give you the welcome you deserved so you didn't try to do so. You’re not the same giggly girl who would do anything he says, being surprised and amazed by the little things he did.

And it hurts, it really fucking hurts. Because in any given moment you’ll realize he’s just a headcase and its not worth your time.

"Bear?" you call him.

You still have that sweet voice, but you’ve changed.

"I don't know" he muttered, he knew why but he wasn't going to admit it— no, he was too embarrassed for that.

"I never said you were the reason, you’re just twisting everything I say" You get up from your seat. "You always do!"

He felt his shoulders slump as he follows your every movement. You are putting back your coat and your beanie, your boots too. Mikey takes a deep breath but doesn't move, exhausted of causing you too many problems and stress.

"I just feel like I’ve been in my own world…" he trails off, his eyes now trained on the floor next to your shoes. "I feel like… I've been too much"

"Yes, you’ve been mean and grumpy" the anger on which the words came out of your mouth surprises you. But you were tired, so tired of his baggage.

"I've been having a hard time... If you can't handle it then maybe you should leave already" he winced at your observation. He knew it was true, but the stubborn side of him didn't want to admit it. "I'm causing you more problems than you already have and you’re still here? What do you want from me? You can't fix me"

He’s said it a million times, but it somehow felt different. More real, more painful.

You huff, taking your bag and your keys. Mikey stares at his hands and closes his eyes as the door is shut.

You keep walking to your car, the tears strolling down your face. You sit there for what feels like minutes until you decide its time to go home. You glance at Mikey’s house for the last time before turning on the ignition.

Maybe this is right, it's what you need. Its not meant to be if it makes you so sad and heartbroken, right? The man already said it, you can't fix him.

⟡ If you like it please reblog and comment. If you want more you can request!

⟡ Dividers: cafekitsune. Gif darlingshane

[gatitties]

Web of love

─Yandere!Jujutsu Kaisen x fem!reader (platonic)

─Summary: you just keep adding lunatics to the list like they're pokemon and you lose patience

─Warnings: mahito (he's a warning himself yeh) blood, death, a little anxiety attack, toxic behaviors, obsession, yandere stuff

Part One / Part Three / Part Four

The blank pages: Part One / Par Two

I'm done downloading my inspiration on this for now, I feel like this is a little longer, sorryyy 😶

YOU WERE too quick to accept that these sorcerers would do whatever they wanted with you, but in a way, starting a verbal fight to refuse to do certain quests would cause you more problems than solutions, so you were just like a body empty of soul moving back and forth, simply waiting for the next order to complete it as quickly as possible.

The worst thing of all was that it wasn't annoying, at least, not the fact of taking orders, you liked it, you didn't have to think too much, just do this and that, you definitely started to think that all those tests of 'are you a leader or a follower' made sense all those times that your result was being a follower, you wanted an easy life and being a leader of anything is a complete stress that you were not going to go through.

So your simplistic and conformist personality only made it easier for all those sorcerers to mold you to their liking, this does not mean that whenever they asked to spend time with you or simply be attached to you you accepted, they would always have a negative response at first, however if they continued insisting, as may be the case with Itadori and Nobara, you would agree to do what they wanted, because accepting is easier than declining. Megumi and Gojo weren't as persistent in asking for small favors or bonding time, which you appreciated.

"I was looking for you, Maki and I are going to go downtown to look for some cursed weapons, do you want to come?"

Nobara, getting into the bad habit of not knocking on your door and entering without permission, throw herself at your bed grabbing your hand to beg you to go out with her and Maki, knowing that you would refuse she started whining about how you hadn't left your room lately and that she had been very busy with the missions. With no other option you accepted, hoping to be able to get back to what you were doing later in the night.

You thanked the heavens that Maki Zenin was skeptical about your stay at the Jujutsu school, since you did not show any interest in developing cursed techniques or improving physical abilities, she thought that you were not important enough, a shame that Nobara had to drag you with her long enough for Maki to end up getting attached to you, you barely talked to her but for some reason she ended up liking you.

"Come on, we don't have all afternoon."

Maki began to walk waiting for you both to follow her steps, a couple of minutes later the two of them began a light idle chat while you followed behind, only with one of your headphones on in case they spoke to you at some point.

"Be careful, you should stop looking at your phone and look at your surroundings, you are so careless."

The girl with glasses grabbed the back of the collar of your uniform to stop you just before you crossed a red zebra crossing for pedestrians, you watched for a moment as the cars sped by just a few centimeters from you with blank eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

You shrugged, putting away your phone like a scolded child, Nobara took the liberty of grabbing your hand to guide you the rest of the way, at least you could walk looking absent-mindedly at anything that caught your attention without worrying about tripping.

Disinterested and bored once they started negotiating about the cursed weapons, you decided that you could go out for a few minutes without anyone noticing to the bakery you had seen around the corner, you felt like something sweet, you were going to buy something sweet and no one will stop you. Unfortunately before you could get out of the alley, because of course, a shop like that wasn't going to be visible to everyone, once again a curse clung to you desperately to be forgiven.

"Not now please."

You took a couple of minutes to release the cursed energy of that curse, feeling your eyelids heavier and your body more relaxed, of course your ability had cons, after all what you were doing was consuming cursed energy, your way of releasing it were resting, which led you to sometimes fall asleep even standing up due to exhaustion.

Your slight drowsiness disappeared when you heard the sewer besides you sliding with a squeak, a strange mass began to come out until it formed a guy who looked like a sewn doll, his bicolor eyes looked into your soul.

"That was very interesting, where is that curse? Did you absorb it? Did you kill it?"

Your parents had taught you that you shouldn't talk to strangers, especially if they seemed like lunatics who could deform and come out of random sewers, and like a good mom and dad's girl, you looked away, backing away to exit through the other side of the alley, but he managed to grab your wrist so you wouldn't run away.

"It's rude to ignore someone when they speak, you know?"

You frowned looking at his hand on you, remaining silent, you let out an inaudible sigh, you always had to end up in this type of situation, tangled with people ─in this case curses─ that trapped you without wanting to let go.

"I sent it to rot in hell, its soul will remain suffering until eternity, remembering and regretting all the evils it has caused, it will be subjected to the worst tortures imaginable."

He remained silent before bursting into laughter, you had said all that so seriously, with that grim face that he almost believed it, you hoped that trying to 'scare' him would work, but this curse had at least a couple more neurons than the ones you used to meet.

"Aren't you funny? It's a shame I have to kill you, I thought we could be friends but you're-"

The ground began to shake, almost losing your balance, you took advantage of the sudden distraction to free yourself from Mahito's grip, approaching the nearest wall so as not to fall due to the tremors, the sewer flew away and you could see how the curse paled, transforming again to escape.

"How many hours have I lost in this chase?"

A new voice came out of nowhere, turning around you saw a blonde man with glasses, he was wearing a uniform and had a blood stained weapon in one of his hands, you looked at each other in silence until he spoke again.

"A student… hey, have you seen that curse? Where did he flee?"

Figuring he was trustworthy enough since he seemed to recognize the Jujutsu high, you silently pointed in the direction Mahito left, earning a nod from him to leave you there alone again. As if that weren't enough, before you could leave the alley to get some sweet, you ran into another curse, this one looked like a volcano with only one eye, it was petting a stray cat while muttering things like 'you're a good boy' in a squeaky voice, you were going to turn around to make this less awkward but your bones had to make that weird sound sometimes when you walk.

His one eye widened at the sight of you, a small rash erupting from his head and he shot up at the speed of light.

"I'll pretend I haven't seen anything if you pretend you haven't seen me."

You decided to reach a mutual agreement because you heard Nobara shout your name, surely they had finished their purchase or had been alerted by the noise earlier, and if they found you now they would surely distract you enough that you wouldn't be able to buy your candy. You took enough time to complete your little mission, as just as you left the bakery you were approached by the red-haired girl who hugged you like a whimpering koala.

"You can't disappear like that out of nowhere! We heard a shaking and thought something bad had happened to you."

She rubbed her cheek against your shoulder, you murmured apologies while still savoring your sweet, Maki remained silent watching the interaction, carefully searching for any kind of scratch or wound on your body, she sighed in relief when she saw that you didn't seem to have anything.

"We have already spent a lot of time here, we should go back, Toge and Panda are waiting for us for our training."

The encounter with these two curses, Mahito and Jogo, was only a small trigger that led you to strangely meet them more times later, you were never close of course, but your eyes always seemed to meet the multicolored or the single eye of those guys in some bustling part of the city, you knew they had some plan with Itadori, but it's not like you could do anything, you just alerted Gojo and he thanked you with a few pats on the head for the information.

On the other hand, you became a recurring conversation on the side of the villains, for one reason or another, everyone got to know you, either because Mahito was talking about you or because you had an encounter with Geto or Choso, not knowing them, you felt strange when you exchanged glances with them because you felt the same as when you first met the trio of sorceres, they already knew you before you knew anything about them.

Their curiosity about you was only based on overprotectiveness and how obsessed the sorcerers were with you, you seemed to be an important person, was it because of your power? Was it because of your cursed technique? It was something they wanted to find out and anyway if it was nothing like that, they could always use you as a wild card to blackmail them.

You decided to ignore their presence while you worked on your assignments, assignments in which you got to know that blonde guy, Nanami, he was assigned with you for a couple of missions and at first he felt quite irritated by your carefree behavior and even annoyed by your lack of interest in the work, but he couldn't blame you, in his eyes, like Itadori, you were just a teenager who shouldn't be doing this kind of work. He proposed to himself that no student was going to die under his care, especially someone who was never in favor of being part of the cursed world.

You just kept adding people who were worried or interested in you to the list, and you thought that there was no one else who could feel that way, that you could finally breathe easy, that you could stop moving through that web that kept you captive, that you could snuggling in your sheets protecting yourself from the cold while you hugged a pillow and slept carefree.

And… out of nowhere you wake up with a wet cheek, an eternal sea of blood where you could float, in the distance a temple made up of different animal and human bones. Your eyes became slightly watery, your only moment of rest ruined by whatever was happening, you were upset, furious, maybe it was the first time since you left home you felt an emotion this strong and vivid.

"This has to be a fucking joke…"

You mumble walking towards the temple hoping to find some kind of answer to get out of there, you wanted your hours of sleep back, you wanted to disconnect your brain from reality and travel to your dreams seeking solace outside of this world, not to be trapped in this stupid place.

"This is unusual, how did you manage to get here, brat?"

You rubbed your face furiously, of course you had heard about Sukuna, how Itadori swallowed a fucking finger, but luckily you didn't have any encounter with the king of curses, until now. Again it seemed like he already knew you, but how could he not? You occupied more than half of Itadori's thoughts.

"That's what I would like to know, is this your domain? Get me out of here."

"I can't."

You couldn't contain the irritated grimace you made, this time your expressionlessness broke as well as your patience, a small twitch appeared in your eye and you began to breathe harder, you rubbed your head too hard, perhaps tearing out a few strands in the process, but you didn't care, you exploded after putting up with so much shit.

"Tell me it's a joke, you're the king of curses, not the king of comedians, get me out of here."

Your tone of voice stopped being monotonous, now radiating annoyance and demand that made Sukuna smile at your outburst, he had always heard Itadori complain about how unexpressive you were with them and now you are exploiting a lot of negative emotions.

"Well, I can do that, but for that I would have to kill you."

"Do it." you didn't take a second or hesitate to respond, almost surprising the man, who watched you in silence as you approached him, your frown more with every step you took "What the hell are you waiting for? Do it, kill me."

Sukuna had seen many people begging him, begging for lives, begging to end suffering, it wasn't even the first time they had begged him for a death, but this felt… strange, he had never seen someone so young desperate to die, he had never seen someone have the anxiety attack you were experiencing right now, and strangely he had never felt the kind of energy you gave off, it was somewhat reassuring. He began to understand all the macabre thoughts about you in Itadori's thoughts, all that overprotection and worry, or perhaps, he had gone crazy, becoming infected because of the human in which he was locked up.

"Mmmh, I can do it, but you will only wake up, if you have managed to get here without trying, you will surely come back when you try to sleep again, but it is only a theory, since you have never been here before."

"In that case I'll think of something, but let me wake up."

"Ok"

He shrugged with disinterest, you didn't even feel how his fist lodged in your abdomen, your body staggered towards his, while he held you with one of his arms, the other pulled out your heart that continued pumping blood, you looked in disgust as he seemed to enjoy watching the blood splash across his face.

"Son of a bitch with a fetish for dishearten people…"

It was the only thing you said before your body faded away, immediately waking up in your bed with labored breathing, you placed your hands on your heart, checking that it was still in place, beating rapidly from the agitation. That specific night you couldn't sleep, because by doing so you returned to Sukuna's domain, or to Itadori's mind, the problem was rooted in the fact that that specific day Itadori was much more worried about you than usual, generating a certain connection that interfered with his and your dreams, the middle ground being Sukuna's domain.

Now you couldn't even go to sleep thinking about having a good dream, because depending on the night you would end up stuck with the king of curses, another person added to the list, would this be some kind of divine punishment? You just want to run to your parents and hug them with all your might, for them to tell you that everything will be okay and that you are a good daughter, for the moment you will settle for hugging your cold pillow in search of comfort while three pairs of eyes watch as your emotions slowly deteriorates.

They would make sure to be the arms that keep you warm, to be the people you turn to in these types of situations, you shouldn't be sad, you are much better off here, more protected and safe.

"Good night darling, have sweet dreams."

Gojo, having shooed the other three students away from you, entered your room, gently wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks, he stroked your hair for a few seconds before brushing away a few strands and kissing your forehead. He hadn't had the chance to prove that he was capable of being a good father in Megumi's eyes, but he could be to you, it's a shame that you still cling to your parents as role models when he was there, he would be a better father figure, just wait.

[notmorbid]

sweet fury.

dialogue prompts from sweet fury by sash bischoff.

nothing will ever be the same again.

you get it. i can tell.

you know me better than i know myself.

my life was so very different before you.

isn't 'rose hip' a rather saucy name for a tea?

this isn't the image i want people to have of me.

you probably think i've got some kind of daddy complex, don't you?

what are we gossiping about?

where do you want me?

you're always thinking of everyone else.

you're the one who makes shit happen.

i've always found it best to leave the past in the past.

i don't want ____ to see how broken i am.

i don't feel angry at all. i just feel sad.

promise you'll never betray me. promise you'll never break this trust.

let's not mix business and pleasure, shall we?

may every last one of your dreams come true.

pretend i'm someone else. someone you hardly know.

i would kill to look like _____.

you're not the person i thought i knew.

you could have gotten seriously hurt.

i thought i knew where my life was going.

i know you feel like you can't escape, but you can.

i feel like i'm learning so much from you.

i'm old-fashioned at heart.

when did you know that _____ was the one?

i don't believe in unconditional love. loving someone is a choice you make over and over, every day.

you've caught me. i couldn't leave you if i tried.

______ have always been my favorite flower.

there are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy, and the tired.

it's never too late to heal.

you don't need to be a _____ to be a hero.

i blew it. how can i redeem myself?

how is it possible to love two people at once?

none of this was ever your fault.

i'm sorry. i didn't mean to yell.

i didn't know where else to go. i ran here.

leaving isn't an event, it's a process.

in the movie version of your life, how would you draw it?

though my means may be messy, my motives have always been pure.

care to tell me what the hell happened?

you're the only person who knows the full story.

only you can set yourself free.

you have to make your own mistakes.

isn't this all a bit subversive?

you did what you felt you had to do to survive.

you're going to bring up my feelings for you, aren't you?

if i'm wrong, just say it, and i'll never ask again.

just for one night, will you stop your mind from turning?

i know what i'm doing. i have it all worked out.

despite everything, i like you.

i was in your shoes once, too, you know.

listen. i'm on your side.

i made it to the other side because of you.

let me help you, the way you helped me.

you always want to see the best in people.

where did you go just now?

at some point, you've got to take responsibility for your own mistakes.

am i really that easy to throw away?

for the first time, i feel like i'm seeing you for who you really are.

something is wrong here. i can feel it.

i'm the good guy here.

there's no need for this to get messy, right?

it's alright now. you're safe.

you've made an enormous impression.

you've gotten off scot-free.

all i did was give you the rope to hang yourself.

i'm not a murderer. it was self defense.

you should have listened to ____ when you had the chance.

am i getting warm?

stop acting. i know this is just another one of your performances.

do you even realize what you've done?

[sissylittlefeather]

If You Talk In Your Sleep

Chapter 4

A/N: I'm sorry this took me so long! Work has been a STRUGGLE lately. But I managed to get this one out and I'm lowkey obsessed with it. I hope you love it!

Need to catch up? Masterlist HERE.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, this is definitely for adults only, there's lots of smut (blowjob, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie) but also DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Elvis is not violent, but reader's husband is.

Word count: ~3k

It hangs there for a second like smoke before you whisper your response.

“I'm in love with you too.”

******

After the night at the Palomino Club, your life becomes a series of stolen hours with Elvis separated by the daunting reality of your life with Carl. You know Carl can't find out what you're up to, but you're so happy with Elvis that it's hard to care if he does. A fantasy of telling him and him letting you go easily consumes you every time you're forced to be around him. Still, the risk that he'd kill Elvis is still too great for you to take that chance. Instead, you sneak away as often as you can and spend your nights wrapped in satin sheets and Elvis's arms.

He doesn't go home to Priscilla, despite her constant begging and the Colonel’s insistence. They know he's probably messing around, it wouldn't be the first time, but they never dream he's in as deep as he is with you. And he is in deep. Every stolen night with you only pulls him deeper, the rest of the world fading into something distant and unimportant. He’s known love before, or at least he thought he had, but nothing has ever gripped him like this. Nothing has ever felt quite so undeniable.

A little over a month has gone by when Carl tells you that he has to go visit the bosses back East for the weekend. You're surprised he's not making you come with him, but he seems to have gotten over his suspicion. When it dawns on you that this means you'll have a whole weekend to spend with Elvis, you have to try to hide your excitement.

“I'll call to check on you every evening around 5. Make sure you're home.” If the right person said it, it might be sweet. But coming from Carl it sounds like a threat.

“I will be. It's not like I really have anywhere to go.” You're laying it on a little thick, but you want to make sure he doesn't suspect anything. In truth, your insides are positively buzzing with giddiness. He grunts and then kisses your cheek before disappearing through the door.

You wait an hour to make sure he's really gone before throwing some clothes and toiletries in a bag and heading over to Elvis's hotel. He doesn't know you have the whole weekend to spend with him, you wanted to surprise him, so you hope he'll be pleased.

When you get to his door, you knock and wait, fidgeting with the strap of your bag. He opens it and a warm smile spreads across his face.

“Hey doll. Missed you.” He wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead as you melt against him. “What's in the bag?”

“My stuff.” You try to contain your excitement and fail miserably.

“Stuff for what?” He raises an eyebrow mischievously.

“Carl’s out of town. You mind if I stick around for the weekend?” You giggle as he brightens almost instantly and picks you up, spinning you around.

“A whole weekend?!” He laughs and carries you inside, kicking the door closed behind him. You giggle as he plops your feet on the floor and then takes your bag, tossing it to the side. Without any kind of warning, he wraps his arms around your waist and throws you over his shoulder. You squeal with delight as he takes you straight to the bedroom. The sound echoes off the walls and gets caught in the thick carpet while he drops you on the giant bed. He growls as he climbs up your body and presses himself against you. “We're gonna be in this bed for hours, little girl.”

You run your fingertips down the side of his face gently and kiss the end of his nose, whispering. “I wouldn't have it any other way.”

Something about the way you look at him makes a lump form in his throat and the thought that he wants you forever, just like this, is almost overwhelming. He carefully presses his lips to your cheek, and then the other one, your forehead, eyes, chin, and finally your lips. He'll never have enough of you, but he intends to try this weekend.

You revel in the feeling of his soft kisses on your face, your hand drifting up to the nape of his neck and tangling in his hair. What wouldn't you give to have him like this all the time: slow and gentle and so full of love that it feels like you might burst. His lips continue their journey down your jawline to your neck and he sucks on the skin there gently.

“I'm gonna leave a mark.” He says it playfully, nipping at you with his teeth.

“Fine by me. It'll be gone before Carl gets home anyway.” You moan as you feel him suck a little harder. Then, he pulls back to admire his handiwork.

“I'm glad you're okay with it because I definitely did.” He chuckles and kisses the spot softly, whispering. “Mine.”

“Yours.” He backs away and looks into your eyes.

“You mean it?” You nod, never breaking eye contact.

“Always.” And then his lips are on yours, his tongue pushing into your mouth as he rolls his hips against you. You whimper with the intensity of the kiss, your blood beginning to rush in your ears while your fingers make quick work of the buttons on his shirt. He shrugs out of it, letting you throw it to the side as he runs both hands up your thighs under the hem of your dress. The cotton bunches around your waist before he sits you up and yanks it over your head, diving back in to kiss you deeply. You can feel his chest hair tickling you, the cold metal of his belt buckle on your tummy making you shiver. Your breath hitches when you feel his member where it strains against the fabric of his pants. He whimpers as you run your hand up his shaft and squeeze a little. You put your other hand in the middle of his chest and push gently. “Get on your back, baby.”

He looks at you a little surprised, but complies nonetheless, settling onto his back with you straddling his hips. You run your hands up his body and then lean forward, pressing your lips to his skin. He groans as you run your tongue around his nipple and then move to the other one, nibbling gently. Your fingertips roam over parts of him you've never noticed before: the indentions on his shoulders, the way his hips curve down into his pants, the little trail of hair that starts at his belly button and continues south to the part of him you really want to see. You lift yourself off of him and back up, undoing his pants and hooking your fingers into them to pull them off. He looks down at you with his mouth open a little, not used to being treated with such care. You kiss up his thigh to the top of the patch of hair between his legs, his cock bumping into your chin as it twitches.

“Fuck, honey.” Your hands move down his torso to his hips and then back around to his ass, squeezing softly. You kiss his inner thigh again and then look up at him, a cheeky little smile on your face.

“What?” You coo, moving over to the other thigh as your hands massage his ass cheeks.

“Nobody’s ever… fuck… why?” You move down and kiss his balls and he gasps.

“Because you deserve it.” He whimpers as you lick up his shaft. “You deserve to be worshipped, adored, revered.”

“No… I don't…” The words get caught in his throat and he looks at you with more vulnerability than he's ever shown another person. You sit up a little and look at him.

“Yes. You do. And I'm going to spend the rest of my life proving it to you.” He lets out a sound somewhere between a strangled sob and a deep moan as you lean forward and take him fully into your mouth. The way you move up and down on him is more than sex, it's an act of devotion. His heart pounds in his chest and his fingers tangle in your hair, not as a show of dominance, but as a demonstration of his affection for you. He's never felt so connected to another person.

You lick and suck and pull him deep into your throat, pressing your nose into the hair at the base of him. Every ounce of love in your heart is evident in the way you take care of him, giving him more pleasure than he's ever experienced. He looks down at you, your eyelashes fanning over your cheeks as you close your eyes in reverence. It's an image he'll never forget.

“Love, I don't want to… finish… like this.” All of a sudden the other words seem so crude. He strokes your cheek lovingly as your eyes flutter open. “C'mere.”

You move back up his body and he lays you down next to him, holding the side of your neck as he looks at you. He carefully removes your bra and panties and drags his fingertips over your skin.

“The way I love you… it's so… much more, much deeper, than anything…” He shakes his head, trying to find the words. “I’ve been lost for my whole life. You found me and brought me home.”

He presses his lips to yours softly and pulls your leg over his hip, lining his cock up with your entrance. “I never wanna be anywhere else.”

You gasp as he pushes into you slowly, his hips rolling forward to meet yours. Words are unnecessary as he begins to pump into you, holding your hip to steady you. No phrase would be enough to convey the depth of your feelings for him, so instead you press your forehead to his and close your eyes while he makes love to you. You revel in the beautiful simplicity of being connected to him so intimately. Both of you get lost in the sensation, the reality of where he ends and you begin fading into a symphony of mutual being. You are the universe, complex and overwhelming and breathtaking all at once.

He pulls you even closer, holding on like he's afraid if he lets go you'll disappear into a dream. But it's not a dream. The two of you are real and as the pleasure builds between you, the sound of your breath mixes with skin against skin.

“Oh, God, Elvis.” You moan in his ear and he hums in agreement.

“Gonna cum soon, doll.” He says it almost regretfully because he doesn't want the moment to end. He'd hold you against him like this forever if he could.

“Me… too…” You sigh breathlessly as you dance on the edge of ecstasy.

And then you both reach the peak of your pleasure at the same time. Your body shudders and pulses as he twitches and releases deep inside you. When he finally lets go of you, you look up at him with tears in your eyes and he pulls your fingers to his lips, kissing them affectionately.

“You're the love of my life, Elvis.” You whisper, a single tear sliding down your cheek. He brushes it away with his thumb and smiles.

“And you're mine.”

It should be a moment of pure contentment, but it's not. Reality hangs over both of you like a heavy cloud. There's a storm on the horizon, but for now you choose to ignore it. You'll worry about that tomorrow.

******

You spend the next hour or so in the bed just talking and laughing and touching each other in a way you've never been able to before. Then, you settle into a bath together where you make love again with the warm water making tiny waves that crest and break against your bodies. When you finally settle in to sleep, the sun is creeping up on the horizon, but you think nothing of it, knowing that you have all the time in the world tomorrow.

The next day is spent in a haze of bliss. You order room service and spend all day in bed, making love two more times.

Finally, it approaches 5pm and you know you have to run home to talk to Carl when he calls. At the door, Elvis kisses you deeply, trying to convince himself that you'll be back in about an hour. But there's a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he just can't ignore. You feel it too, but you're convinced it's just nervousness about talking to Carl, so you make your way home without concern.

When you get home, you slide your key into the door and then freeze.

It's unlocked.

All of a sudden it feels like someone has filled your veins with ice water and you try to tell yourself that you just forgot to lock the door. But you didn't. For a second, you consider just leaving and going back to Elvis forever. You know that's impossible, though, so you prepare yourself to lie and push the door open.

Sure enough, there sits Carl. His gun is on the table and you try to get a handle on your heart that's beating like a rabbit’s. You decide to take the offensive and try to throw him off.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were in Chicago.” You try to say it with confidence, challenging him to contradict you.

“Got an interesting call from Marco.” Your heart stops. Of course he would have men watching you. But you're not ready to roll over just yet.

“Yeah? And? I went out with–”

“I called Holly. She's been in Los Angeles for a year now.” More ice in your veins. You try desperately to think of another person you could've been with, your heart racing and your head getting light. For a second you feel like you might pass out, so you grab the back of a chair and Carl stands up, walking to you to steady you.

And then he sees it.

There, on your neck, the hickey that Elvis left, confident that it would never be seen.

Carl doesn't hesitate. He backhands you across the face hard and you stumble backwards.

“YOU FUCKING WHORE. I KNEW IT.” He hits you again and you hit the floor. The blinding pain rushes through you from your cheek to the rest of your body and back again. You lay there still and pray he's finished.

But he's not.

He drags you up and slams you against the wall with his hand around your throat. You whimper and claw at his hand as he chokes you.

“WHO IS IT?!” But you wouldn't tell him even if you could get a word out. You'd rather die than give him reason to hurt Elvis. When you don't speak, he slams you up against the wall again. “Fucking bitch.”

He squeezes your throat even tighter and you start to see stars. Just as you think you're going to pass out, he carries you to the front door and drops you on the floor in the hallway. You try to stand up and he hits you one last time. That's all it takes for you to drop to the ground and not get back up.

******

You wake up to someone carrying you and immediately panic.

“Woah! Woah, shhh, honey, you're okay.” For a second you think it might be Elvis, so you stop struggling and open the eye that's not swollen shut. But it's not Elvis. It's Jerry.

“What’re you doing? Carl will kill you!” You wriggle and fight to get free, but he's stronger than you expected.

“Carl left you for dead. That's a risk I'm willing to take.” He carefully puts you in the front seat of a car and then runs around to the driver's side.

“Where are you taking me?”

“The hospital. I'm under strict orders to make sure you're okay.” You scoff and try to get out of the car, but he's already driving.

“I don't need a hospital.” He looks at you for a second and then just flips the visor down, opening the mirror for you to see yourself. You gasp at the image. Your eye is red and purple, the bruise spreading down your cheek, and there are dark marks around your neck where he choked you.

“If I take you to Elvis like this and don't stop at a hospital, he'll kill me before he kills Carl.” You shake your head, the image of Carl’s gun on the table floating in front of your good eye.

“Elvis can't see me like this.”

“You're not thinking clearly. Of course–”

“No. Jerry, you have to promise to take me home after the emergency room. If I'm not okay, you can tell Elvis, but if I am, he never needs to know about this. Got it?” Jerry purses his lips, obviously contemplating your request.

“Not sure I can do that.”

“Do you want Elvis to die? Is that what you want? Because that's what'll happen if you tell him.” He sighs deeply and runs his hand in his hair.

“Emergency room. If it's bad, I'm tellin’ him.”

“Deal.”

You ride in silence the rest of the way to the hospital. It takes a while for you to get back to an exam room and be looked at. A police officer takes Jerry, who says over and again that he didn't do this to you and he's not your boyfriend. He insists that he's just a friend who found you like this and is trying to do the right thing. Eventually, they decide that he must be telling the truth and let him come back to you. He walks in with a nurse who looks at him nervously.

“Miss. I have some… results…” You assume she must be talking about the concussion test they did and nod your head.

“Yeah? And?” She bites her lip and looks anxiously at Jerry again. You look over at him and back at her and your stomach turns over. “You can just say it. He's a friend.” She takes a steadying breath and nods. Then, she opens her mouth and utters a phrase that changes the course of your life forever.

“Did you know you're pregnant?”

******

Ahhhhhhh!!!

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[navybrat817]

Navy. We got to cuddle with our florist. Are we also going to cuddle with our tattoo artist? 🥺

Of course, nonnie.

Traditions and Innovation

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Female Reader

Summary: Bucky wants to kiss you under the mistletoe, but it doesn't happen in the traditional sense.

Word Count: Over 1.7k

Warnings: Kissing, humor, tension, teasing, inner monologue, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

Previous Part of AU: Rules and Chaos

A/N: Sorry, lovelies. I'm only capable of ficlets lately, but enjoy some Hottie and Sugar. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics and Bucky edit by the amazing @nixakimbo .Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

“My poor, shivering Sugar. Don’t worry. I’ll warm you up in no time,” Bucky said as he curled a hand around your hip, feeling him smile when he brushed a kiss against your temple. “It’s a tough job, but I’ll do it.”

An icy breeze crept into your bones through your coat when you rushed over to the tattoo parlor minutes ago, earning a sympathetic gaze from Jake when you walked through the door. It was one of the coldest days you could remember and you couldn’t get rid of the chill until Bucky offered to cuddle with you on the couch in the break room. You weren’t about to turn down his generous offer.

Especially since the guys made the room bright and cozy for the holidays with twinkling lights.

“Yeah, I really had to twist your arm to snuggle with me,” you teased, your heart thudding as you tilted your head back and let his lips skim along the column of your neck. It was almost criminal how soft his kisses were. “And I have no doubt in your abilities, Hottie.”

The man was built like a furnace, his firm body seeping warmth into yours as he held you in his embrace. Heat continued to pulse through your veins as he chuckled low and deep. “If you ever doubt my abilities in anything, I won’t hesitate to tie you to my bed and prove you wrong,” he promised, his voice even lower as it slipped into something more intimate.

You shivered for an entirely different reason now, threading your fingers through his hair and gripping them before his mouth could reach your chest. It earned you a throaty groan in response, one that nearly had you crawling in his lap. Somehow you managed to stop yourself.

“We can’t get too carried away,” you said, as much as you wanted to. You had to get back to your shop and he had a client coming in for a touch-up shortly. “Don’t give me that look,” you half begged, trying to ignore how your insides clenched when he lifted his head and gave you a glimpse of his darkened eyes.

How could you ever feel cold under that heated stare?

“But I want some sugar, Sugar,” he purred, one hand coming up to gently grasp your chin. Warm breath ghosted across your lips as he leaned in. “Just a little taste.”

Oh, how I want him to properly taste me. Make me see stars. Make me cry his name.

It was almost chaste in the beginning, his lips gently brushing against yours before he pulled back and leaned back in. Your lips parted first, silently begging for him to deepen the kiss. He still had his hand on your chin as he took his time, as if he truly wanted to taste what your mouth had to offer.

“You’re so fucking sweet,” he murmured when he pulled back, his gaze dropping to your lips as you caught your breath. That look alone made your toes curl. “I should put mistletoe everywhere just to find more excuses to kiss you.”

“That would be a first for me,” you said before you could stop yourself.

“What would be a first?”

“Being kissed under mistletoe. I’ve never done that,” you admitted with heated cheeks though there was no need to feel embarrassed.

Bucky pulled back a bit further as his eyebrows shot up, taking some of the warmth with him. “No one has kissed you under mistletoe? How is that possible?”

“I guess I haven’t had the opportunity,” you answered carefully.

A lump formed in your throat when he continued to stare and you weren’t quite sure why. Maybe it was because he treated you as if the sun, moon, and stars hung in the sky because of you. Not everyone saw you as anything special the way he did.

No one ever loved or cared enough about you before to try.

He slowly shook his head as if he refused to believe you. “Well, I’m fixing that right now,” he said more to himself than you before he gently put his hands over your ears. “Jensen!”

You smiled at his muffled shout before he put his arms back around you. His voice carried when he wanted it to. “Yeah?” Jake yelled back before he rushed to the break room and stuck his head in through the doorway. “What’s up?”

“Do we have any mistletoe around here?” Bucky asked.

“Bucky, what are you doing?” You whispered.

“Finding mistletoe before you go back to the shop. And, no, I’m not letting you leave until we find some,” he whispered back, waiting for Jake to give him an answer.

“I don’t think we do. Steve mentioned buying some,” he said, fiddling with his glasses before his eyes widened. “Wait! I think Hal has something that should work.”

“Of fucking course, he does,” your boyfriend mumbled affectionately as Jake went to get him.

“You really don’t have to do anything, Bucky,” you told him, turning his face back toward you. It shouldn’t have surprised you that he wanted to. He was a romantic at heart and you secretly enjoyed that he wanted to find some. “I appreciate it, but we don’t need something hanging over our heads for us to kiss.”

“I know we don’t, but maybe I want to give you that opportunity to have that kind of kiss,” he said. Your mouth went dry at his heart stopping smile. “If you’ll indulge me.”

You felt the weight of his tender gaze as you smiled, your eyes burning slightly from unshed tears. Thinking back on dating jerks like Richard, you were thankful for the experience because it showed you how guys should treat you and that you wouldn’t settle for less than what you deserved. It began with loving yourself.

“There’s no one else I’d rather kiss,” you said, resting your hand on his chest before Hal strolled into the room.

“Well, well, well,” he smiled, bringing attention to his hair as he ran a hand through it. As if he didn't turn enough heads on a normal day, he decided to dye his hair red and half green for the holiday season. “I heard you were looking for some mistletoe.”

“Yeah, you have any?” Bucky asked impatiently.

Hal chuckled and lifted his shirt slightly, giving you both a quick flash of his abs. “As a matter of fact…”

“Oh, my god,” you giggled, covering your mouth as Hal gestured to his belt. The hand painted buckle had mistletoe painted on it with “KISS ME” written underneath. “That’s…”

You stole a glance at Bucky and you swore you saw his left eye twitch. He likely had a sweet plan in his mind and got this instead. “What the fuck is that?”

“It’s mistletoe. Just like you asked for. I mean, it’s a form of mistletoe. I have a date tonight with Angel,” Hal explained, pointing at it again. You wanted to wish him good luck with his date, but you couldn’t stop giggling. “Well, what are you waiting for? Get over here, get on your knees, and start kissing. Or should I go over there?”

There was no mistaking your boyfriend’s eye twitch this time as your laughter died down. “I’m not kissing my girlfriend by your crotch. I’d sooner choke you with that belt.”

Hal seemed to consider it before he quickly shook his head. “Nah. I tried the choking thing once. Not really for me,” he said, smirking mischievously as he looked between the two of you. “But if she’s into that-”

Well...

You grabbed Bucky’s arm before he could launch himself at his employee and friend, who held his hands up in surrender. “Here’s a thought. Why don’t you take the belt off and hold it over our heads,” You suggested, hoping to appease your boyfriend as Hal unbuckled his belt with a shrug and removed it from the loops. “It still counts.”

“Not exactly traditional,” Bucky muttered under his breath before you brushed a finger along his chiseled jaw.

“We’ll call this innovative,” you said with a sweet and sincere smile. One you knew he couldn't resist.

“Innovative, huh?” Bucky asked, pulling you close as Hal waltzed over with an amused smile and dangled the belt above your heads.

“Yes,” you smiled as he framed your face. “So kiss me, please.”

Bucky held your cheeks with such care that it sent your heart soaring. This kiss was softer than before, yet full of promise and hunger, deep and thorough. He stole the breath from your lungs until you were left dizzy and wanting more.

It was the kind of kiss that warmed you up all over, like a flame no one could ever put out.

He pulled away first, slowly, but he seemed just as affected as you felt since he let out a shuddering breath and didn't let you go. “Fuck,” he whispered, bringing a smile to your face.

You had to close your eyes again to center yourself, still smiling. “Yeah. Fuck,” you whispered back before Hal cleared his throat.

“I really do adore you two lovebirds,” he began, stepping back to put his belt back on as you opened your eyes. Bucky didn't bother to look his way, only gazing at you. “But before you round the next base, Andy’s still talking about replacing the couch from the last time.”

He'll change his tune if he ever fools around in here with Sunny.

“Thank you, Hal,” you said, bringing a hand to Bucky’s cheek before he could grumble. Your touch was enough to soften his demeanor. “And thank you for my mistletoe kiss. I'll never forget it.”

Just like your first date that didn't go as planned, it made it all the more special.

Bucky smiled before he helped you both get to your feet. You had to get back to work. “I'm glad you liked it, but I’m getting us some actual mistletoe later and putting it all over our apartments. Bedrooms included.”

“Is that innovative?”

“Yeah, it is,” he smiled, sneaking in one more tender kiss before you had to go.

As long as Bucky would be the one to kiss you, he could put up mistletoe wherever he wanted.

These two. 🥰 Love and thanks for reading. ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[thewickedjazzy]

Could u do dazai x reader with ocd?

Featuring: Osamu Dazai x gn! ocd reader

Content: sfw, fluff, slightly angst, mention of some swearing words, I believe that's it?,

Author's note: hiiii anon, so sorry for the late response, I swear I was working on it since I received it. I'm also working on all of yall's requests - I'm not sure if you wanted a fic, drabble, or headcanon so I just did a rock paper scissors.

Word count: 1k

❥ Dazai is a smartass, quick witted even, and don't forget that he works at the agency as a detective so of course he will quickly notice how you constantly worry about things going wrong—whether it’s leaving your water bottle uncapped or making a mistake at work. He sees you zoning out at the office, caught in a loop of anxious thoughts, and quickly deduces that it’s more than just everyday stress.

❥ At first, before really getting to know you, he was just a quiet observer. But he never judged, not even once. He’s got his own mental shit to deal with, so he knows how fucked up minds can be. He’d make mental notes of your quirks, just in case he needed to handle them during a mission or whatever.

❥ As he gets to know you better, he figures out how sweet and lovely you are—unlike the twisted side of your mind. It’s like an addiction for him; he craves that balance. He enjoys being friends with someone who has their own dark side, just like he does. Maybe you’ll understand where he's coming from, push him to be a better version of himself.

❥ It’s only after your relationship becomes official that he feels entitled to meddle in your problems. He believes that getting involved in such matters is only appropriate once there’s a solid, established connection between you. Until then, he's just an observer.

❥ You were the one who approached him first, explaining that you have OCD. You felt more anxious than you’d anticipated, having considered telling him many times before but never managing to do so because your mind held you back. He remained calm, and it was only when he revealed that he had known all along that you felt embarrassed. In his typically laid-back manner, Dazai might say, “Oh, I’ve known about your OCD for a while now. You don’t need to be embarrassed—it's actually quite endearing. It doesn’t change a thing between us. We’ll work through it together, and honestly, it’s no big deal.”

❥ One day, while on a mission with him and Atsushi, you were deeply focused on analyzing the crime scene. You managed to uncover evidence that even Dazai had missed, piecing together how the victim was killed with remarkable accuracy.

❥ Needless to say that dazai was surprised by how quickly you cracked the complex case. Even after the murderer was arrested, you continued to ramble about additional details, anxiously checking the file in your hand and worrying about missing something, though there was nothing left to find. Eventually he stopped you, gently holding both your wrists. As you looked up, apologising profusely, he simply shushed you, saying, "It's fine. The case is solved, and we’ve caught the murderer."

❥ Atsushi the poor kid he is watched the exchange between you and Dazai with curiosity. When you reluctantly handed him the file with a nod, Atsushi leaned in and whispered to Dazai, asking if you were alright. Dazai simply smiled and replied, "They're just the perfect detective, doing their job flawlessly."

❥ Dazai is surprisingly attentive to your needs when it comes to your OCD. If you’re stuck in a loop of checking something multiple times, he’ll gently steer you away from it by engaging you in conversation or distracting you with a task. He might even playfully mock himself to make you laugh, using humor to ease your anxiety. “Looks like I’ve accidentally left my keys at home for the fifth time this week. Isn’t that a catastrophe?”

❥ If you’re particularly anxious about a big case or an important event, Dazai might surprise you with a comforting gesture. He could leave little notes or small tokens of reassurance in places you’d find them, like a hidden message in your desk drawer or a comforting snack in your bag.

❥ When you’re feeling overwhelmed, Dazai has a knack for knowing when you need space and when you need company. He might give you space to deal with your thoughts but always makes sure you’re not alone. He could show up with your favorite coffee or a calming playlist, knowing just when to intervene.

❥ Dazai might not always express it directly, but he has a deep understanding of how your OCD affects you and often subtly adapts his behavior to support you. He might avoid making sudden movements or loud noises if he knows it could trigger your anxiety. His sensitivity to your needs shows how much he cares.

❥ Dazai would likely offer reassurances in his own, less conventional way. Dazai might not be that sentimental boyfriend but he makes casual but heartfelt statements that affirm his love, such as “You’re the only one who can put up with my nonsense,” or “I can truly be myself with you, without a second thought.”

❥ Dazai would be more mindful of his humor, staying away from jokes or comments that might trigger your OCD. He might use humor in a way that’s supportive and aligns with your sense of comfort rather than distress.

❥ If someone makes fun of you, Dazai would likely handle it with a blend of nonchalance and protective instinct. He might casually brush off the mockery with a witty comment, like, “Oh, they’re just jealous of your intellect,” showing his confidence in you. If needed, he would also step in to defend you.

➵Want more of Osamu Dazai ?

[jasmineoolongtea]

plastic palm trees ― gojo satoru

caught in a dream, it's not what it seems

contents: gojo satoru x f!reader (exes), from the reader's pov this time, nicknames (sweets), angst, hurt + no comfort, questionable coping mechanism, small moments of happiness/fluff (in the flashbacks/memories), suggestive themes for like one memory, swearing/cursing, insecurities from the reader's side, drinking/alcohol

summary: memories from during and immediately after your relationship with satoru (pt. 2 to deeply still in love)

wc: 4.7k (wow that's a doozy and sorry on my part for any errors you might spot because this is kinda not proofread)

a/n: ahhh ty guys sm for the love on deeply still in love, i was not expecting it to blow up like that but i'm just so happy that you guys also enjoy it as well !!! this is kinda a part 2 but not really since it's mainly flashbacks. there is a part 3/conclusion to this whole mini saga coming soon so watch out for it :000. art by objectgraphy on x (nsfw warning for the full pic)

It plays again in your head like a clip from a movie you've seen way too many times.

It's you and him, just the two of you and no one else, sitting in his stupid beat-up black jeep wrangler that's probably seen too much by this point that's parked in the middle of some random parking lot well past midnight by now.

Satoru always complains that something's broken for the hundredth time whenever he comes to pick you up from your dorm for another one of his late-night rendevous however despite all this complaining, you're always greeted with the sight of the same black car even though you know he has a car collection that's way too extensive for any reasonable university student to have.

You're pretty sure you've lost count of how many times you've asked to just get a new car at this point but he always refuses for some reason that's beyond you.

Nostalgia, he says as he pats the well-worn leather lining of its interior. We've been through a lot, me and this one, he'll add on, talking about the vehicle as a person rather than some inanimate object and then he'll start pouting at you like some sort of petulant child when you stare back at him unconvinced.

There's a part of you that wants to call him a 'sentimental idiot' for stuff like this but actually, habits like this only serve to further endear him to you in some weird twist of fate and you can only muster an affectionate eye roll as a response.

There's no particular reason as to why you and Satoru would drive out and just sit and be together like this. It wasn't even because of this specific parking lot as well since you two would just usually drive around until you found a parking lot that looked empty enough and just park there to bask under the canopy of the night sky above.

It was always so quiet. You liked the quiet.

Before you met Satoru, you thought this quiet was something only you could keep to yourself but he taught you that there was merit to be had in sharing the quiet with someone else. Even if that someone else might make your 'quiet' much louder than what you're typically used to.

"I like it here." You mumble softly in the sleeves of your (his) sweater. It was one of your favourites because it was soft and it smelled like him.

"You like the city?" There's an edge of suspicion in his voice like he can't believe someone could ever like this place coming from someone who's grown up in said city. To be fair, the place had its good, bad and ugly and maybe as a city native, he had become accustomed to more of the bad and ugly rather than the good.

"I mean, it's nicer from where I came from. A lot of places are nicer than the town I'm from." You laugh half-heartedly as you lean against the cold glass of the window.

Satoru goes quiet for a moment. You don't talk about your hometown that much and for good reason, in your opinion. University was one of your few chances to get out of there and you took that chance without so much of a look back or regret in your mind.

It's nice, cosy even, if you ignore the slight tingling sensation crawling up your legs when you sit in the way you like to sit for too long or the fact that you're both hanging out in an abandoned parking lot in the dead of night. Whatever this is, you think you wouldn't change it for the world if you were given the choice.

Too bad, your getaway couldn't last forever.

The words are weighing heavy on your tongue, just there on the tip as if they're ready to jump off any second but you tighten your lips in a frail attempt to stop them from spilling out. You know the words you're going to have to say will change the way that things are, no matter how much you want things to stay like this.

Satoru leans his head against the car window next to him, hitting the glass with a soft bonk that you're sure hurts but of course, he doesn't react to the collision. Instead, his attention is focused on staring at you, angling his body in a way so that he can get a better look at you, with that classic dopey smirk of his plastered on his face as he does.

A part of you hates him for being able to look so good even in the broken glow of the overhead parking lot lights that would have made anyone else look sickly under its cracked yellow hue.

Not him though, never him. He looks like an angel, you think to yourself, with the way the wisps of white hair splayed out around him illuminate into something that resembles a halo which further elevates his already ethereal features into something otherwordly.

"Shame, it can't last though." You murmur quietly to yourself, moreso of in the vein of thinking out loud rather than starting a conversation. Unfortunately for you, it seems he's heard you.

"What do you mean?" He asks, sitting a little bit straighter in the driver's seat as he looks on inquisitively.

You avoid looking back at him because you know if you could see his expression, it would only make saying goodbye harder. "I can't stay, Toru." You tell him as you gaze into the black nothingness of the night sky from inside the car. "I'll have to move back after graduation."

"What? Why?"

"The rent is crazy expensive here. The only reason I can stay here for uni is because of the student pricing and now that we're graduating, there's no way I can afford to find a place in time." You gnaw nervously at the bottom of your lip as you speak, a bad habit, you know, but it's just something you can't really kick.

You don't want it to end like this, who would? You don't want to say goodbye to the city, to your life, to him. You've had your first taste of true independence and it's being taken away from you because of stupid expensive rent prices, of all things.

A very anti-climatic way to go out if anyone were to ask you.

The car is dead silent for a few minutes. You're scared for whatever his reaction is going to be. He's going to break up with you, isn't he? You think to yourself and you hate the fact that your mind instantly jumps to the worst option but you can already feel a pit start forming at the bottom of your stomach .

The longer the silence drags the more you're convinced he's going to kick you out of the car or something worse and you can already feel yourself bracing for whatever fallout is coming your way.

"Then move in with me. I have an apartment here, a pretty good apartment if you ask me." He states, shrugging his shoulders casually as if he were simply talking about the weather instead of suggesting something as major as this.

"...What?" You reply, though your words come out more as a question as you try to comprehend what he's just asked.

A beat of silence passes the two of you. You don't move.

"I'm serious. Move in with me." You scan his face for any of the typical telltale signs that he might be pulling a prank on you and you find his face scarily devoid of any of them.

Oh, he's dead serious, you think to yourself, with the way he's looking expectantly at you.

"Satoru, do you understand what you're asking?" You ask, still in a state of disbelief at his offer.

He makes a face at you like the answer to your question is the most obvious thing in the world.

"Obviously, if I didn't why would I ask you." He remarks as he raises an eyebrow at you and before you can open your mouth to retort back, he brings a finger up to your lips to silence you. "And, it's not that strange of a request considering the fact that you're my girlfriend. Don't people in a relationship usually move in together like isn't that some big relationship milestone that they look forward to?"

"I-I mean it is but still."

"Okay, then what's the problem."

"I don't know." You sigh, mulling over his proposition in your head for a bit before turning back to him.

"Just promise me this, Toru. Promise me you won't get sick of me?" You ask him as you reach out your pinky towards him.

A pinky promise. It's childish you know but Satoru knows how much small things like this mean to you.

He reaches his hand out to you and interlocks his pinky with you but before you can pull away, he laces his other fingers with yours and brings your hands up to his lips for a soft kiss. The tips of your ears burn red at the way his lips brush your skin.

"Sweets, I could never get sick of you. Actually, I don't think I could ever get over you as long as I lived."

"You better hope that's true or I'm gonna make you eat your words." You grin cheekily at him, a smile which he reciprocates tenfold before basically pouncing over the console to wrap his arms around you. A squeal escapes you as you burst out into a fit of giggles as he peppers your face with feather-light kisses all whilst fighting off your weak attempts at pushing him off.

His arms rest against the plush leather of the passenger seat, trapping you against him, as his flurry of kisses dies down. He stops for a second, admiring the sight of you so close to him and a part of you wants to shrink from the intensity of his gaze. Unfortunately with the way that his arms are caging you in, there's nowhere to hide and you're left at his mercy.

Satoru leans closer, barely inches away from your face as he hovers right above your lips. "Oh yeah? Well, you're gonna be waiting for a long time because that's never gonna happen." His lips find their place against yours, melting into you like they were made for you and you think to yourself that this must be what home feels like.

Another memory of a happier time flashes through after that.

This time, you're lost in between the bedsheets with him, bare skin on skin as the two of you whisper sweet nothings to each other like lovers do in the dead of night when there's no one watching.

"I like it here." He mutters softly. His arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him like you're his very own lifeline, and his legs are haphazardly intertwined with yours in some mess of limbs that might be able to pass as an abstract art piece if you look at it right from a certain angle.

The blanket is resting dangerously low around his hips and you're wondering how he isn't freezing as you cling onto him as your own personal space heater in the darkness that surrounds the two of you.

It's quiet once again.

"What? Us naked in your bed?" You quip.

"You know that's not what I meant." He groans into your bare shoulder as you giggle softly to yourself, clearly pleased with your well-timed jibe.

"Sorry, I just had to take the opportunity to tease you."

You can't necessarily see him right now but you're sure he's probably lovingly rolling his eyes at you. A sigh escapes his lips and you shiver slightly from the way the blast of hot air hits your skin.

"I like it here when it's just me and you and there's no one else except us in this world." He confesses to you as his fingers begin to explore the expanses of your body as if trying to commit the way you feel under his fingertips into memory.

You bite the corner of your lip as you fight the urge to shrink under his delicate touch.

There's another jest resting on the tip of your tongue but you decide that Satoru's had enough terrorising on your behalf so you say nothing and instead quietly soak up this rare respite from the busyness of everyday life that has been afforded to you two.

"Just us, together, in this bed where we don't need to care about anything else except just that." He adds on, his voice resolute and although you don't say anything out loud, you think you agree with him.

In here, in between these four walls, you two can pretend that the entire world existed within these confines and all the two of you needed to do was to reach out and you had the world at your fingertips. At the end of the day, it was simple and something the two of you could forever return to.

You wished that things could stay simple.

Before you can linger on that moment any longer, it's gone in the blink of an eye as another memory swoops in to take its place.

The door to your shared apartment creeks open and as you crane your head towards the doorway from your spot on the sofa, you're greeted with the sight of a slightly dazed Satoru clumsily entering.

"What's up?" You ask as you shoot up from your place, quickly making your way across the apartment to check up on him as a pang of concern over his current state hits you.

At the sight of you, Satoru is suddenly drawn back into reality as he blinks owlishly for a few seconds as if attempting to reacquaint himself with his surroundings and bring his clearly distracted mind back into reality.

"I just got a call from my family's company. They're giving me the chance to head a new division they want to expand into." He replies as he runs a hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his which shows that this offer is clearly weighing heavy on him. You take his hand in yours and give it a comforting squeeze in the way that he would do for you all those times before, a gesture you can tell he greatly appreciates with the way his shoulders sag with relief.

He confesses softly to you. "I don't know if I should do it."

"Why? What's holding you back?" You question, somewhat confused by his hesitation. This is a major offer and you're surprised that he isn't jumping off the walls with excitement but you're sure he must have his reasons.

"I just- The hours are going to be long and well, you know how many family is and the elders are-"

You cut him off sharply, sensing that Satoru was on his way down a lengthy ramble. "I think you should take it." He stares at you, almost slightly bewildered at your apt response. "It'll be good for you."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure Toru. If you don't take this opportunity, you're going to regret later down the line." You insist, sending a reassuring smile his way. Even if he can't see it now, you're sure that this going to be good for him. For the both of you.

Whatever new hurdles that might come your way from this like Satoru is convinced is going to happen, you have faith that the two of you can make it out relatively unscathed.

It's good to have faith right?

The new question was, how long can your faith carry you?

You're pacing back and forth in your shared apartment for what seems like the millionth time as you anxiously watch the seconds tick down on the clock.

"Hey, Toru. What time do you think you're going to be back?" You're trying to balance the phone between your ear and shoulder as you smooth out a napkin to the best of your ability. It's looking a little wonky, if you're going to be honest and maybe tonight of all nights wasn't really the time to find out if you were good at folding napkins into fancy shapes like they do at the restaurant but you needed tonight to go according to plan.

It had to. Tonight was an important night for both of you.

"Why, what's the occasion?" From the way he's asking, you don't think he's putting on an act of pretending not to know for the surprise. Rather, it's a genuine question on his behalf and somehow, for some reason, that feels even worse than outright disgust.

"Did you forget?" You feel your voice falter ever so slightly, another crack etching its way onto your already fragile heart. "It's our anniversary dinner."

"Shit, I'm so sorry, sweets. It totally slipped my mind with all of these meetings and stuff they're having me do." You hear an exhausted sigh ring out from the other side of the phone in between the cacophony of other voices taking up space in the background. "I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"...No, It-it's fine. We can just reschedule this stuff for another day." A breathy laugh leaves your lips in a weak attempt to try and convince him that it was truly alright and that it was just something else to brush off.

"...If you say so."

"I'm serious, Satoru. It's fine, I can just reschedule things for another day that's all." Another one to add to the evergrowing pile, a bitter voice barks from within the recesses of your mind.

Much to your chagrin, you're unfortunately becoming much more acquainted with this voice and although you haven't responded to its taunts yet, you can feel your resolve wearing away with each late night you watch the streets below for any sign of life, his life to be specific.

Worst of all, you can't say you regret this, can you? Because if you do, then it would basically be confessing that all of the pain and late nights the both of you have been sacrificing have been all for nought and that you were wrong for pushing the both of you down this path.

It needs to be worth it so that there's a reason for this pain that you're feeling when things like this become an afterthought but you're starting to wonder how many times you have to say it until it becomes real instead of just a pipe dream you had the misfortune of being caught in.

Soon, it seemed that these doubts weren't just one-sided anymore.

"This is good for us, right?" Satoru asks one night as the two of you are getting ready for bed. It's been a while since the two of you have gone to bed at the same time as your clocks fall further and further out of sync the longer you two spend out of each other's embrace. There's a strong hint of uncertainty in his voice like he's trying to convince himself as much as he's trying to convince you. "...You're happy right?"

You don't look at him in the eye. You can't. "Right, yeah. I mean, this is what we want." Your answer isn't as resolute as you hoped that it would come out but you brush past it in the hopes of making sure whatever doubts you may have bubbling underneath your surface remain there.

"You didn't answer my other question."

A nervous laugh escapes you. "What do you mean?"

"Are you happy?" You stop in your tracks for a moment as you process his question.

There were a lot of things you could have said at that time, the truth would have been a good option, but instead, you chose to swallow the difficult choice down and take the easy way out by plastering on a sickly sweet smile and lying to him through your teeth.

"Of course, I'm happy Satoru."

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you're greeted with that oh-so-familiar sensation of that pit in the bottom of your stomach as the bitter voice you've tried to suppress makes its infamous return to the forefront of your mind.

Looking back at it now, maybe you should have said the truth, it would have saved you two a lot of pain in retrospect but pride is a funny thing and you're sure that Satoru was in the same position you were in at this point.

That's probably why he didn't push any further after your response, no matter how fake it probably sounded out loud. It's either that or he wanted to believe that you were actually telling the truth.

You're not sure which one is worse.

In another world, you would like to think that there's a point to your mind deciding to subject you to this trip down memory lane aside from dredging up your past pains and regrets to torture you. Maybe, in this other world, you would have a sudden life-changing revelation awaiting you at the end of the road but all you can see just nothing.

It's better this way, right? For the both of you.

You told yourself that when you sat him down and broke up with him in the total sum of a few sentences before leaving because you didn't want to truly say goodbye to him as that would make everything more real and therefore much worse. You told yourself that when you sat in the backseat of your friend's car they came to pick you up for a night out because they insisted that you needed to get out of your head sometimes. You tell yourself this when you stare into the barrel of the gun in the form of the glass of alcohol sitting in front of you.

He deserves better than being lied to on the daily and someone like you holding him back. You can't even remember the last time you actually, truly looked him in the eye for longer than a few seconds. You imagine the old you who loved to get lost in the vast expanses of his cerulean eyes that would gaze at you like you were the one who personally hung the stars in the sky.

Before, if his eyes were the great roaring ocean, you would gladly let yourself get pulled under by the tide even if it meant drowning in its depth. Now, you're scared to even dip your toes in the shoreline when the wave is nothing more than just the remnants of sea foam.

You reach over for another sip, pretending like the burning aftertaste left in its wake doesn't make you want to wince.

Maybe Satoru was onto something with his dislike of alcohol. You've learned that after a few drinks, all liquor, no matter the amount of zeros slapped onto the end of its price tag starts to taste the same by the end of the night.

There's just so much of him everywhere. In the objects, the, hell even the air. You think you might suffocate from the sheer amount of him you're surrounded by. It doesn't matter where you go, all you can see is him.

You needed to get out.

Pushing past the crowd all whilst ignoring the confused calls of your friends to your sudden switch in behaviour, you stumble your way to the bathroom and lock the door behind you as you slump down defeated next to the sink.

Truth be told, his question haunts you more than you would like to admit.

"Are you happy?"

You don't think you are. Maybe you should be, you have everything that would usually qualify for someone to answer that they are happy and you're no longer that struggling student you were a few years ago which is definitely a plus.

You tell other people that you are 'happy' when they ask, with a smile that never reaches your eyes and a grip that's probably too tight on whatever you're holding in your hands at the time but the answer never feels right, no matter how many times you say it out loud and let it roll off your tongue.

Despite what you tell yourself, perhaps the time when you were happy, truly happy, was when you were with him.

Deep down, you think that if you were given the choice between now and then, you would trade all of this for a chance to be those dumb kids sitting and making out in parking lots without a care in the world except for each other again in a heartbeat.

As you study the tiles of the wall opposite you, you think to yourself that it would be nice to stay here in this bathroom, far away from the rest of the world and far away from what feels like all your regrets personified but the logical, reasonable part of you knows that there's no way you could realistically stay here any longer before your friends start worriedly banging on the door.

Slowly, your shoulders deflate with a defeated sigh as you stand up and make your way out of whatever bar you've been dragged to as you bid your friends goodbye in a way that you hope doesn't raise any suspicions.

The air feels bitingly cold as the wind nips at your face while you stand awkwardly on the curb, waiting for a taxi as you go to both the first and last place you want to be at; your apartment. Ironically, in a cruel twist of fate, the total absence of anything relating to Satoru only makes his lack of presence only more pronounced.

If this was the universe's doing, then you had a few choice words for them to say the least.

You wrap your arms around yourself in a vain attempt to maintain some semblance of body heat as you quickly flag down the nearest car and clamber in. When you arrive back, you glance at the clock and you have to fight the urge to let out a laugh when you see that it's barely even past 10pm and you're already back at home.

Pathetic, the bitter voice in your head spits out.

You do what you do best and ignore it as you collapse into the embrace of your bed and try your bed to lull yourself to whatever empty dreamscape awaits you this time if only to get a moment away from your current reality. It doesn't last long though because you're awoken by the shrill ringing of your phone.

Should have silenced it, you curse yourself silently as you blindly reach for it. Once it's in your hands, you squint as the blinding brightness of the screen and a flicker of recognition flashes through you as you realise who's actually calling you and for some reason, against your better judgment, you pick up.

When you hang up, you don't go back to sleep. Rather, you're unable to go back to sleep as you're left staring blankly at the ceiling above you. The bed feels too big for one person and you find yourself missing the nights where you could go to sleep alone and wake up in the arms of another.

Much like when you're forced to watch a replay of all your memories, you're wondering if what you said was right. If you were to go by what you've been telling yourself since the breakup, then sure, you did the right thing. But if it is truly the right thing, then it doesn't explain this inexplicable emptiness gnawing deep within your chest or this aching feeling that sits in a place you can't quite reach but are all too aware of.

The longer you let your mind run through all the possibilities you can think of, the more often you find yourself coming back to the same conclusion. It's better this way, be damned, you think to yourself and with that, you make up your mind to set off on a mission.

Out of all of the places you could have found yourself at, this is definitely quite down low on the list and maybe this is what you deserve for trusting your feet instead of your head but you decide that at this point, you don't have much else to lose and so, you gather up the courage to say the words that you've been waiting to say for a while.

"Hi."